#the real problem is that theres a million things i *could* be doing

[talkorsomething]

Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................

Well, it's only half related.

We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.

I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...

I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.

Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?

Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.

November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?

There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.

I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.

...push it back down.

Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.

It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.

I don't know you.

I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?

Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.

It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.

I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.

... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.

I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.

...

I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.

I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.

Will someone just let me say that?

Will someone just fucking help for once?

[bandomfandombeyond]

I am home alone and sad about it -- but not with any conviction, I just have the lingering ennui attendant to knowing someone you love is having fun without you

[nastyburger]

Please say more about the awful Asian designs in Danny Phantom. I'm not Asian but I'd love to have a rundown on the elements that make them offensive so I can avoid and critique those elements in other works. And also you deserve to speak your mind about it

im gonna mostly talk about southeast asian designs since thats what i am and the most familiar with and also what i feel are the show's worst transgression with their casual depictions. tw for racist imagery im gonna link pictures.

there's not much to say about the designs aside from, you know, everything but things to note are the unnatural yellow tone for the skin and closed slanted eyes. veggie burger (fan name for the bg character in the middle) also suffers from the huge nose that sometimes shows up in racist depictions. the straight edge/cut hair as well is somewhat stereotypical. this one isn't as bad but in conjunction with everything else its not ideal. i will give the smallest molecule of credit that at the very least dp never gave any of these bg characters buck teeth.

some depictions are better than others, but theres still missteps happening in one aspect or another. kwan's eyes in a lot of shots/episodes can be too skinny and even too slanted, the girl in the middle is almost perfect but her skin is too yellow (she looks kinda okay on my computer screen but i remember when watching dp on my tv she looked real brightly yellow), and principle ishiyama (who was weirdly forgotten about pretty early on in the show and was replaced by lancer doing most of the school stuff despite not being principle?? which is a whole other issue with how dp treats its poc characters) the same usual notes about the slanted eyes but also the upturned nose is pretty reminiscent of racist japanese art during ww2. again it is not the worst way to draw a nose but combined with everything else in this show's depiction of asian characters its not great, they are on thin ice man.

not to mention, principle ishiyama is the only character here with brown eyes. this is a problem that extends to all poc characters in dp and to my knowledge i think ishiyama might be the only one with them tbh. this is, again, a whole other issue though.

i think the thing that bothers me most about these designs though is that dp is very clearly aware that these depictions are bad. the only difference between the first set of characters and the second is one singular thing: they have a clear speaking role.

suddenly when theyre not stock background characters, dp knows how to act when drawing them. i cannot for the life of me find the image of it, but the last jock guy in the first set gets a speaking role in reign storm (he's cosplaying phantom) and he is drawn with proper open eyes! (theyre also blue but whatever) it just makes me sad that this was a clear choice they made.

the show also went in a different direction in the final product, but early development stuff was really drawing from a lot of japanese/asian influences like danny was originally gonna have a motorcycle (pulling from ghost in the shell) and was even referenced in the show via the akira motorcycle reference (which i once again, for the life of me, cannot find. danny took johnny 13's motorcycle and did the classic akira slide i think it was in million dollar ghost?? idk whichever one where the giw are trying to blow up the ghost zone). danny's name was originally gonna be jackie, named after jackie chan, this i assume was given to jack fenton afterwards. and i think the show having a more martial arts direction with the action was also gonna be a thing? that one could be wrong dont quote me on that, there was an episode where danny and vlad have like a weird ninja fight though im pretty sure.

either way my point here is that they wanted to pull from all these influences and it was prominent enough during development that they sprinkle references to it throughout the show and yet their portrayal and treatment of asian characters in the show is so abysmal it just feels Bad™, you know? i cant really put it more eloquently than that, like its very take and no give with it.

it overall just puts a bad taste in my mouth, and its sad that it still affects people years later. like i mentioned in the tags of the post that started this discussion with that whole old trend of putting yourself into the bg of dp screenshots, i felt alienated by that. and its not the people who participated's fault obviously but most of the people i saw participating were white fans (going off of how they drew themselves) and it made me a bit mad that they were able to enjoy the style of the show in a more carefree manner than i ever could. i didnt want to ruin anyone's fun obviously, but a small part of me wanted to bring to light how i wasnt on equal ground with them in that situation.

[aquadraco20]

My opinion on the Palworld discourse that nobody asked for:

What I don't care about:

Guns in video games, including pokemon adjacent games

The in game monster "slave labor" which, from what I've read, isnt actually efficient and isnt super applicable to the real world unless you're PETA

What I do care about:

Art theft

The A.I. allegations don't seem to hold much water, although I wouldnt put it past the creator to use A.I. either in this project going forward or in future projects.

Yes, the artists on Palworld very clearly mashed up two or more pokemon, including their color palette, and made minimal adjustments to make them different enough to be considered fair use.

What about fakemon/digimon/monster hunter/dragon quest?

1. Fakemon are fan creations that don't make money.

2. Digimon, monster hunter, and dragon quest all have very unique art styles. If you took a similar concept from one of these games and one from Palworld, you could very clearly see a difference, even if the concept is similar. Palworld not only copied the concepts of pokemon, the art style, and some of the 3d models are nearly 1 to 1. The artists took the models from pokemon and futzed with them just enough until they were different enough to not violate copyright.

"But pokemon is a billion dollar company who has had their designs stolen before."

You're right! And with all the half finished games that pokemon has been putting out for the past few years, theres some karmic justice to someone coming out with their own spin on the pokemon formula and making millions of dollars from it.

"Pokemon doesnt have a monopoly on monsters and catching them"

No, and no one is arguing that. But they do own the designs, which is what the problem is.

So what is the problem?

Art theft. And especially now, when AI is stealing thousands of struggling artist's work, we should not be ok with art theft. Because it's one thing if a developer steals from a billion dollar company, but if that's not only ok, but profitable too, then they're going to steal from other smaller creators too, and other companies will follow suit.

Palworld is art theft, and that is a fact. And it sets a dangerous precedent for future works that may steal from smaller companies than pokemon.

[ur-friendly-neighborhood-simp]

sO. I've seen like a million different theories on why Miguel's universe collapsed and this entire time I've just been like "I thought it was because he replaced his dead self???" Like. There were 2 Miguels in one universe. Obviously nothing good can come from that. Also where'd he hide the body???? and what were his killers thinking when they saw bro up and at it again like nothing happened??? And- kay I'll shut up about this but I really wanna rant about some time

Idk anymore maybe I'm underthinking things???? What're your thoughts?

hi! im sorry i didnt answer this earlier, i was very busy today

im gonna cut the post here because ill be talking a lot

first of all, i see your point, and this confuses me a lot too. but after watching the movie 13 times and thinking about it 24/7, i have literally no idea how that universe collapsed. i mean, if it collapsed because there were two miguels in the same universe, why didnt miles' universe collapse too, since in itsv there were 4 peters in 1610? (peter b, noir, porker and the blond dead one). they were there for a while, and the only time that the dimension almost collapsed was when kingpin activated the collider. i have some theories, but i havent looked into it a lot;

1. maybe it had something to do with the canon? if its real, which i very much doubt, then miguels death in that universe was a canon event and gabriela was supposed to grow up without a father, and miguel going there stopped that from happening, so the univese self-destructed. *if* the canon is real, of course

2. i think the multiverse is some type of conscious. like, miguel saying "theres no problem with me going there, nothings going to happen" made something happen just because miguel had to be proven wrong. or maybe to teach him a lesson to not invade other dimensions? some type of karma

also, yes, the whole thing is creepy as hell, because he definitely did something with the body so he could replace miguel 2.0 without anyone knowing, and a lot of people must have been confused, and because of what you said, like "bro isnt that the guy we killed the other day" and also because imagine one day your husband comes home and his eyes are more red and he has fangs and he forgets things? its giving skinwalker, tbh

im just as confused about this as you are, and sorry i couldnt give a straight answer. i hope well find some things out in btsv (when it comes out in 3726). also, you can rant as much as you want, i love listening to people talk, especially when its about atsv 🫶🏻

[gayspock]

again ok sorry i need to fucking . whatever

ive been cycling though even worse panic attacks all day over fucking nothingbut then again i dont fucking know any more its meaningless its so fucking meaningless the way it blurs together and if it meant nothing before it means fucking nothing now and i keep fuckign thinking of everythingthat just keeps slipping away when it was all so so fucking far behind and theres somuch fucking mess to handle but i cant even fucking manage to meet ust this baseline to even try to fucking clean up after myselfand its so so fucking pointless its just so fucking pointless i just fucking sit there and cry and then cry on here and i cant fucking get my head on straight and i dont fucking want to fucking do it any more i cant keep fucking chasing fucking everything i fucking cant do it i keepfucking trying it never fucking means anyhting imfucking alone i dont wantto be ikeep trying to fucking make peace with it every few fucking monthsi manage to swallow the bitter fucking pill but i just cant handle anything im fucking delusional every time i think i can do it alone but no ones ever ufcking coming and i cant manage i cant fucking manage and it doesnt help nothing fucking helps nothing fucking does naything its just constant fucking backsliding its constant fucking horsehsit its worse and worse and fudcking so many fucking steps back for every painful fucking inch i dragmyself forward into fucking what into wfucking what exactly i dont know why i woudleven try i keep thinking what would be at the endof it if i did even manage to pullit together another fucking long stretch of loneliness and nothing and it wontmake the rest of t better ikeep thinking what if this was differentwhat if trhis could be and theres just a billion other fucking problems a billion other fucking things on top that im never going to fight off and it willstill not fucking matter icould keep going for howeve r much fucking longer i keep thinking about how it starts off bad and people jsut tell youit gets better! it gets better! you just havbe to try andit does nothing and nobody beieves you because youre just that fucking shit . yourenot alone youre not alone the million fucking platitudes that make you want to cave your own fucking skull in the fucking mocking horseshit i dont fuckingcare i really fucking dont care i feel like im notihng but a fucking demonstration at best some fucking thin when people donotice to make themselves try to feel fucking better about their existence i wish i felt fucking real i wish epopel took me seriously i wish i meant something more than jsut whatever i tdont know i cant i jsut dont understand why i cant exist in someones life. i dont get hwoits so fucking easy for eveyrone to just have something its always the given that someone isnt fucking horriblyfucking alone all of the fucking time every fucking waking hour fucking spent sobbing because they cant manae they cant cope and thats half the reason why and theyres no fucking handling it theres no way to make progress theresno fucking answers its brick wall its brick wall

its nothing its just getting worse its nothing and you cant even afeel that i feel like a joke i feel like im mocked im patronised i cant stomach being alive ii dont understand why theres never room for me or love for me nomatter what i am or where i am or why i cant jsut find anything i cant even fucking pullmyself together i cant fnd anyhting but just the resounding fucking call of just fucking end italready and just fucking whatever bro the Who Cares fucking gripping ont rying and begging and pleading please please fuck me please just one fucking thing please just make me feel like it wasnt so fucking pointless that it didnt hurt thisbadfor so so fucking long for nothing but you know the answer is itwwas true you were always fucking right every nasty, rancid little thought you'vehad was right that eveyrone fucking hated you exactly when you were scared of it and you were a failure and a loser in all the way syou knew and the titteirng fucking "oh dont say thats!" were just exercisesintrying to get you to shut. up. you cant be this persons fucking rpoblem youre just a fucking problem what good what do you do other than be a fucking problem i keep trying it means nothing i keeptrying to do the hard thing i break down i feel so fucking pathetic ifucking hate everyone i fucking hate seeing everyone else fucking happy and i cant ufcking help it any more i fucking feel myselfgetangry and its wrong and i feel disgusting but i dontknow what the fuck else there is i dont fucking know i wish i was dead i wish i had killed myselgf solong ago before it got to this point i wish i never fucking had hope ever that it couldbe okay i wish i fucking slapped someone I DONT KNOWWWWW

[prsk-krow]

hihi :3! may i request spending the holidays with ena, mizuki and mafuyu (separate if it’s okay). I KNOW THERES STILL TIME UNTIL CHRISTMAS BUT IM JUST IN A MOOD OK😿. btw have an amazing day/night, and you don’t need to accept this req if u dont wanna <3

Hoo boy, the holidays are wayy closer than last time I was here, aha... Actually, they're far closer than I expected!

{Mafuyu/Ena/Mizuki with reader on the holidays!}

Mafuyu Asahina

Oh boy... How complicated I'd it going to be when Mafuyu explains that her holiday celebration were something like... A beta version of a miniature of the real thing? Yeah...

She didn't even know what you were talking about when you suddenly started to say stuff like preparing the tree and presents since November! Like, it's something so small and unimportant that it doesn't take much preparation... Right?

Prepare yourself for almost a day worth of explaining the true traditions, the significance, the joys, and the experience of a true holiday, and expect her to not understand for half of the day what you're talking about...

"... I'm not sure I understand. Is it really that big of a deal? I mean, I've heard about it a lot during my years as a student, but I never expected it to be so important... Because it is important, right? At least, from what you're telling me."

And ALSO prepare yourself to guide her along the whoooole month leading up to the 25th (nice), and for her to be confused about the significance of putting colored plastic balls on a fake tree... It's a lot to explain.

However, as you are putting the lights on and turning off the lights for a visual test, she finally understands. This is to relax from the busy year, isn't it? After all, a celebration doesn't have to be born out of a very important purpose, simply by existing it is important enough to the world!

Now that she comprehends, she will start researching herself and find out about the millions of holiday customs in the world, and she'll frankly be a little stunned. You tell her that you can explore slowly but surely each year, and she seems quite intrigued...

However, make sure to hide it all from her parents, with the help of the rest of the group! It will absolutely be a thin tightrope to walk along, but now that you have her interest, she'll give her effort to ensure the preparations aren't for naught!

Long story short, she doesn't understand the Christmas spirit, and now it's your job to help her with it, all for the efforts to help her have a more normal life! You can bet she'll be thankful by the end, even if she may not be aware of it herself....

Ena Shinonome

She is absolutely not taking advantage of all of the preparing process and time with the decorations to snap millions upon millions of selfies and photos for her page. Yup, absolutely nothing sketchy going on here.

It definitely could get a little absurd, as almost each 25 seconds she has to stop you to take a photo of her and the decoration, you and the tree, maybe all of them at once! She never missed a beat and is always holding her phone for the right moments!

It takes a few days for her to realize that, by focusing on only her social media and her photos that she has been neglecting your actual efforts to work and prepare everything by leaving it all to you!

Preparing presents, the tree, the decoration, she was so focused on the pictures that she wasn't doing what you both planned: For both of you to decorate together! Cue an 'Oh crap' realization sooner or later!

As soon as she does, expect her to put in double the effort the next few days! She really feels bad for abandoning her part of the deal for such a selfish reason, and Ena wouldn't ignore the consequences that this could have on your mood or energy if she doesn't compensate immediately!

"Ok ok! What else do you want from me? Huh? Why am I so excited?? Well, I have to make it up to you, of course! I'm not the type of friend that just says sorry to the problems they cause and does nothing to fix them! So tell me, how can I help??"

It actually starts to get a little too much in the exact opposite direction, as her enthusiasm is unlike nothing you have seen from her before! Except for her art, and some editing of photos. But this... Is quite the unique sight!

You'll actually have to make sure that she doesn't overwork herself, by checking up on her and rewarding her! And what better way than to offer her the main reason why she was so selfish before...?

So in the end, you're both left satisfied, and the preparations are done way before the deadline! You both go out for a congratulatory dinner outside, and another picture would pop up in the artist's account soon enough...

Mizuki Akiyama

Hoo boy, here comes the one that presents the exact same opposite reaction of the honor student's, here comes the pink menace that would actually start to prepare everything before you!

Get ready, for the seamstress's excitement will force you to try and keep up with them at all times! Not only trying to catch up to them progress, but helping out with everything new from there on now... It could be rough, and their seemingly boundless energy will make the process go on for days!

However, this is only one side of their mood swings, one that changes their behavior before any special festivity! And with the swing going one way, it will eventually swing the other way, in the most umprecedented times!

Mizuki will forsee the following days, and will suddenly start to work even harder, making you struggle even harder to keep up wth every day that passes! As they notice how worried you're becoming, the mood swing hits completely, and they start to feek instensly guilty...

"I"m sooooososo sorry for not noticing before! Oh gosh, I feel like such a jerk now... Nono, this is absolutely my fault, and I can't let you suffer because of my careless behavior! Now just lay down on the bed as I bring the food over! What are your favorite snacks??"

Get ready for a sudden pace shift as the next days are spent just chilling as the editor takes care of your every need so that you recover better! Although you appreciate it, you can't help but wonder what happened for them to shift gears... And why does their smile look so sad at times?

And then the realization hits. They have been saying so many times that it's their fault... Do they really feel that intensely guilty? When they bring the next plate of food, you confront them and force them to explain everything. They give in without major resistance when they perceive that you already know the truth...

They can't even look you in the eye as they explain how, aside of how her energy made you so overwhelmed, it's been running out recently. It's the first time you've seen them so vulnerable; there's no light in their smile. You gently sit them down and have a chat with them, to ensure that this wasn't their fault!

It takes a while, but they give in. After all, the work wasn't for nothing, right? After all, you still have more than a week left and everything is almost done! Perhaps this opportunity to rekax wasn't missused. They laugh, their enthusiasm glowing once again! Maybe they should just chill for a bit... Especially with your company!

[mummer]

went down the rabbit hole of my own ao3 today and decided to reflect upon my works ye mighty and despair as an exercise in self understanding:

it chapter two time travel fic - this one has problems in that i was nineteen and a shut-in at the time and didnt know how real life worked and wasnt funny. but it also has some very good things such as the theme is good. good bev stuff. i was so MAD at this movie lolllz... overly sappy and sentimental.. gets real weird and fantastical for no good reason but i dont mind that. STOP SWEARING SO MUCH.. not "well" written but not poorly written either + has its moments 7.4/10

the fool - unfortunately i will never in my life be able to top this due to it being a product of an early pandemic induced fugue state and i just have to accept that. it fucks so severely hard i't's difficult to comprehend. fully formed like athena. deserves 10 million billion hits. sometimes ill have bad self esteem and then i'll chance back upon this and be like Nvm im a genius...... there are like two bits that could use some revision but honestly thats it. "me being stupid is a foundational literary lens" - i remember saying this at some point. 9.5/10 i was so real for all of this

noli me tangere - i dont like this anymore. it really suffers from following the timeline so closely and retelling a bunch of boring administrative shit and has too many threads. the writing is not very good either frankly apart from the beginning. bland. too long. i had a lot of Ideas but.... 6.1/10

the body is a blade - honestly the thing about this one is that it should be 800x more fucked up and evil about everything. i should have let it be scary and fraught and less overtly romantic. i think i struggle with that in fic tbh i always come at it with too much of a wish fulfillment lens stfu bitch i want them to drink each others blood and throw up everywhere. writing is mostly good though and the structure works even tho there is no plot. 7.8/10

random ass stranger things fic from last year i dont want to talk about - i was having a bad 6 months when i wrote this but you cant tell because it does hold up mostly. i mean it's completely bonkers and has major plot conveniences but it's trying to emulate stranger things so you must allow it. i think the duffers could learn a lot from me personally (insane). dusty my best friend dusty. one thing about me is thtat there's gonna be a damn road trip. the writing? IS GOOD. i love BANTER. will also never get recognition due to rarepair problems.. im used to that. i like that i was basically like And fuck found family too btw. theres nuance in this and hard complicated feelings! neat! why was i doing all that for this? i didnt have to. REAAALLLLY didnt have to. 8/10

[glitchdollmemoria]

as a "former gifted kid" who then proceeded to barely graduate high school and drop out of college, i DO think theres a massive issue with the way some (largely neurodivergent) people miss out on learning shit like How The Fuck To Study, and how we learn to equate our "intelligence" (aka our ability to get good grades) with our self worth to a damaging degree, and how "gifted" programs that have kids studying in small groups of other "advanced" students just end up fostering a sense of social isolation from a very young age, and probably ten million other problems with the whole shebang.

i think these things do need to be talked about, and personally i wouldnt want my kids in those programs! and now i worry about my ability to help my future kids with school, because i dont actually know the first thing about how to study, and i have a very poor understanding of a lot of "basic" high school subjects, even middle school subjects. i know that im a smart person in at least some aspects, but when it comes to organized education, im completely lost and honestly im already considering the possibility of needing to hire a tutor for my kids someday if i can afford it. and i feel like this all could have largely been avoided or at least eased, if i had actually been taught how to study and helped when i was struggling, rather than being expected to magically be able to understand any topic and complete any assignment just because, fucking, i was able to do math better than the other first graders. its unfair, and i know full well that other students struggle(d) as well and the whole usamerican education system needs to be overhauled, but im just speaking on my own experiences and what i know would have helped me at least a little, rather than leaving me a college dropout struggling to function in this capitalist hellworld.

but then i look at people who make being a Former Gifted Kid into a part of their identity, the people who talk over others in conversations about accommodations and such, the people who are overall just fucking obnoxious and seem to miss the days when adults would praise them for completing their times tables the fastest, and im like. hm. dont like any of this. this sucks. but maybe im just some schizo who cant keep its train of thought where it needs to be. maybe im just bitter because its not ONLY autism holding me back, but also schizotypy, and dissociation, and complex ptsd, and physical disabilities, and more fucking schizotypy. maybe i need to shut up and let the real neurodivergent people (sarcasm) do all the talking, and i should just accept that im crazy and deserve to live on the outskirts of everything. (actually there was so much sarcasm in this whole bit here. lmao.)

feeling very fucking bitter and cranky tonight if it wasnt obvious <3 love and light

[pwblogarchive]

May 2006

05/02/06 Q&A

question

Hey Pete, so, when can we can expect the new record to come out? Can you give us any information about it?

answer

late fall- info- there will be at least three love songs on it.

question

Hey Pete! If Andy has a diet of chips and mountain dew to make his hair look good, then what do you do to yours??? xoxo

answer

rusty nails, elmers glue and water thats in the bottom of a garbage dump. Yum!

question

Pete, whats yur fav thing to do with a knife? a. stab your self b. stab the guy next to you thats hittin on yur gurl c. stab the monsters in your dreams d. carve in a tree how much luv u have for life

answer

butter my bread and cut patricks pancakes up into little bites for him.

question

what is your favorite song out of “the music or the misery”, “snitches and talkers get stitches and walkers”, and “my heart is the worst kind of weapon”?

answer

i hate that band, they are selloutz.

question

hey peter just wondering in the music video for a little less sixteen candles a little more touch me where did u get your outfit we luv u guys

answer

we had them specially made for the video though we’ve been wearing them onstage on this tour.

question

Hey Pete. Is it true that you guys are now feuding with panic?? because that would suck if you guys are. i am happy for you that you made up with brandon flowers!!

answer

we are totally like feuding with panic. we are going to have a gigantic oil wrestling match between brendon and patrick to see who gets to keep the voice once and for all. bamboozled.

question

got into a fight with some stairs at school today. my feet were in on it. the stairs won. good thing my nose isnt broken. how was your day?

answer

ive got beaten up by the stairs on many occassions. a car window beat me up once too.

question

umm, i know its a wierd questin, but how do you keep you body in such great shape? i mean…WOW! please tell! Lol

answer

my body is falling apart. thank you no days off on tour and 15 foot jumps.

question

if you had kids what would you name them? xoxo love hannah

answer

patrick, joe, andy, and jason.

question

whats your eye color?

answer

it goes between dog poop and spinach with red spots. k thx.

question

you “officially have 22 songs for the new album”. just making sure, are there going to be 22 songs on the album, or are you selecting like 12-13 for the new album?

answer

we arent ready for “use your illusions I and II” - i would expect around 12 songs to make it.

question

peter.peter.pumpkin.eater… whats dirtys real name?

answer

jonathan cecil miller and he works at the red lobster in jacksonville.

question

any tips for learning to play bass?

answer

nah. but if youve got any i could use them.

question

Look, for once in your life maybe you should try reading some of the questions a bit further down the list…………………………yes, you are busy, I know that, but maybe some of us are busy too and dont have time to ask the same question 3 million times a day just so that you can go and ignore it because it was asked slightly too early. I mean, have you got some sort of selective reading problem, where you can only read the first 10 questions or something? Some of us have had some really good or different questions to ask and youve ignored them in favour of “OMFGZZZZZZZZ P33T UR SOOOO HAWTT” and it pisses me off like theres no tomorrow. So yeah, Im done with asking you questions, because you arent going to answer them. There is no point since it feels like Im asking a brick wall what the time is. Have fun answering your “I w4nn4 h4v3 ur b4bi3zzzzzzzzzz” questions.

answer

wow. and look which quesiton i wasted my time on…. the truth is there are sooooo many questions in here. i get to as many as i can. sometimes i hum “its hard out there for a pimp” and dirty does a little dance.

question

How does it feel to be Mr. New Booty?

answer

what is that

question

If unrequited love was in 2005 whats in for 2006?

answer

finding someone you want to pack in your suitcases and take everywhere with you.

5/03/06

question

pete theres this pic of you going around on the boards were you have on a track jacket and big nerdy glasses and sharpie on your hands and some ppl say thers a scar on your chin and some ppl(including me) cant see it. do you have a scar on your chin? if you do how did you get it?

answer

i do. at a show a long time ago my friend mani climbed on my back and my face hit the stage. i also have a scar in my eyebrow from joe trohmans guitar.

question

does fob not do signings anymore? if thats not a sign of selling out im not quite sure what is.. same goes for aar and a little bit oct. fall, hh, and fftl

answer

we do meet and greets and as well every night i look for kids after the show. some venues kick people off the property but i try and find the kids every night.

question

PLEASE READ THIS. I went to the concert in Charlotte yesterday. Nothing I read on the internet was true. I am an OCK. I was there at 10 til 6:00 and I was considered late. I didnt get in early. Well, that was okay. I saw October Fall. & Only me and one other girl knew the words. Yay for us & our mad love for music. Then FFTL came on. I still had about ten minutes before the meet and greet. & I was excited to see their set. Well, when I went to find the M&G place, I couldnt find it. I asked like 10 different people, and they told me 10 different places. When I finally found it, it was 7:23. The guards wouldnt let me in. I saw you, and yelled Hey! & showed you my bracelet. You just kept walking and laughing with the guys. & I had a letter for the band. So, I got someone to put it on stage. Then, the security guy knocked it off and laughed in my face. I did get right at the barricade for your set. I knew EVERY word. Too bad no one around me did. & I got threatened by some 12 yr olds dad that he would get security because I was pushing. But, I was going to be up front no matter what, for your set. Yes, I cried, and yes, it sucked. But I still love you guys. & I always will. I just wish you wouldve gotten my letter. Im bummed.

answer

im sorry. i didnt know you were showing your bracelet. usually when people yell stuff its goofy… you should send your letter though.

question

what is your most cherised memory from high school

answer

leaving it.

question

new booty is a play on “ms. new booty” which is some song by a rapper i cant remember. but the name wouldnt apply to you because youre somewhat lacking in the buttocks area.

answer

are you saying i aint got no junk in the trunk? i do heart bubba sparx

May 6, 2006

The blisters on my thumbs have a love/hate relationship with my sidekick, as does my sense of selfesteem. You get it or you don't. The last week has been amazing. I got the chance to meet lauren hoffman, who wrote one of my favorite songs to fall asleep to. Its so strange to put a face with a song. I also got the chance to hang with some of the guys from the band damnation ad which is oretty much the only thing that got me through age 14 to 18. Its so weird to get nervous and shake around people who sing the words that make you heart beat- but it happens to all of us I think.

Other than that shows have been amazing. I realize that I have based my entire life on maverick from top gun.

Can't wait to hang out with old friends at bamboozle.

Watch out for us on newstands around the end of the month.

Truelove

5/09/06 Q&A

question

Dear Pete, so heres my problem, my parents were divorced when i was eight and now i am 13. my parents have both found new companions and i am vey happy for them. only the thing is my mom and her boyfriend are constantly having indiscreet sex. it is really starting to piss me off. i dont know how i am going to confront my mom about her leaving open condom wrappers in the office. should i just but out and ignore it or should i tell my mom that she needs to be a little more modest? thanx.i heart u 4ever peter.

answer

i think that it is ok for you to bring this up to your mom. do it in a respectful way. i am sure she is unaware that it is bothering you or that you are even noticing.

question

Patrick reminds me of a cute little panda bear, what kind of animal does he remind you of?

answer

maybe a koala bear or something. he is cute but if you get close hes kinda got some vicious claws. besides i could see him sitting around just chilling and eating leaves all day- maybe you were right about the panda though. something cute and smelly.

question

Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera?

answer

billy beckett. you know becks is hotter.

May 10, 2006

the keyboard is unforgiving. it doesn't have much give. it hates the life inside your fingertips, it is jealous. if youre not careful youre gonna write yourself into a corner... her mom had a heart that served as a trophy case for award winning methheads. i couldnt blame her for how she turned out but id love to shoot the scientist that figured out the connection between geneology and behavioral patterns. her trustfund is nothing more than a series of amateur nights in florida strip clubs and an alcohol tolerance like you wouldnt believe. shes a prizefighter past her prime who just wont get out of the ring because its the only thing shes ever known. youre the young buck in fuck me red gloves laced tight, grinning just before the bell in the first round. because you know how the odds stack up. because you know that its just a matter of being faster and hitting harder. you are a wordsmith- imagine the bedside manner of this spin doctor. "sometimes if things are going right you just need to lower your standards". its last call for a shot of conscience...

you remind me of the way things went before all of this. www.myspace.com/thehushsound - wine red demo.

- xo

May 14, 2006

"charlie there is no future in anything. i hope you agree. that is why i like it at war. every day and every night there is a strong possibility that you will get killed and not have to write. i have to write to be happy whether i get paid for it or not. but it is a hell of a disease to be born with. i like to do it. which is even worse. that makes it from a disease into a vice. then i want to do it better than anybody has ever done it which makes it into an obsession. an obsession is terrible. hope you haven't gotten any. thats the only one i have left". ernest hemingway in a letter to charles scribner.

nothing steals the magic from writing the way writing about it does.

but i can't help but have it spin through my head as i read "the old man and the sea" over and over again.

following two plane crashes in africa.

the old man is just an old man.

the fish are just fish.

and the sharks are just sharks.

even in this context i dream of it no less.

this maybe the closest to love that i ever get.

i hate grammar. i hate spell check.

they are tools and trades we focus on when the right words escape us.

while we can use them in a world that we write, where we make our own rules.

they can rob a piece of its life.

for me words are more of a compulsion.

it is involuntary.

it falls in the catagory of breathing and the beating of the heart.

sometimes i want to throw my hands up.

to wave the white flag.

to apologize for everything i havent done yet.

but usually i want to forget the pictures and the rumors.

to become a recollection, a shared memory. visually: a faint, sentimental face that blurs into the background of everything. 

to watch all of the magazines turn to static.

and only be thought of by the clicking of these keys.

its a shot in the dark.

but every boy has got to dream, right?

on my best day, when all the planets have aligned, i still couldnt come close to touching you.

- xo

5/15/06 Q&A

question

whats your fave. item of clothing?

answer

hoodies. bury me in one.

question

What do u think of vegitarians?!

answer

i think everyone should go to www.peta2.com and vote andy as the worlds sexiest vegetarian.

May 16, 2006

take your taste back, peel back your skin. you should try saying no once in awhile.

name names. i wish there were words stronger than fuck you. but face down on a wet carpet, salty eyes i cant think of them. "i really enjoyed kissing you tonight. i wish there hadn't been any interruptions" versus "things happen". the texts flash and youre fucking caught. im addicted to the truth, didn't anyone tell you baby.

this is me broken down.

your fist and my face- because i found you out.

i dont think ive ever met anyone so terrible.

eyes only. 

only you understand this.

idontcareanymore.

- xo

May 17, 2006

“friends that lay together, stay together or how the thoughts in my head go, unfiltered”

forgive me for not showing more remorse- apologies were never really my thing- outside of feeling sorry for myself. the last nail in your coffin got stuck in the mail. youre gonna have to wait. until then focus on love below the waist. they say your head can be a prison- consider this a conjugal visit. my dad calls girls he dated back in highschool "old flames"- like it makes them feel better in his own head. he always asks my mother if "he's still got it?" but would anyone answer this question with a "no", like ever in history? its like i can't think of myself getting older without thinking about the way my father is 30 years older than me. theres not much that terrifies me more.

if i ever freely gave out the details of any of these events- theyd fucking lock me up and throw away the key. but thats okay as long as the place has 24 hour room service and a stocked mini bar.

everything everwhere is a roll of the dice. and the best way to make it through life with hearts and wrists intact is to realize "two out of three aint so bad". except when you throw a hail mary and its not caught. dont bet it all on anyone, ever, except yourself.

ive got alot of "Friends" but only two or three friends. you wouldnt like me if you saw the inside of my head but you might love me anyway.

everyone sends everyone the same lyrics as though they were written exactly for their hearts. but they werent. they were written because someone had a mortgage to pay.

noone owes me anything. no empathy or truth, little trinkets or kind words. at the end of the day im just a boy. and i know that. im okay with that.

she is a STARVINGmakeupARTIST. we exchanged sloppy kisses in the rain until i realized that she was only in it for the rain.

"tell the world to leave me the fuck alone, ie "please find me a home"..."

Posted by xoat 3:31 AM

May 19, 2006

“is that your ego in your pocket pete or are you just happy to see me?”

the truth is it feels foreign everytime a face graces the cover of one of "those" magazines or one of "those" countdowns. because all of the words are about how i wanted to cut my insides out. it makes me feel uneasy. the smile on my face is just so you wont ask whats the matter.today i thought about walking into traffic. not to die but because i am fascinated by injury. its probably good that "those" thoughts are so fleeting.someone thought theyd go out and teach my heart a lesson.lil' wayne "the carter 2" is keeping me out of my mind.

posted by xo @ 1:24 AM

May 20, 2006

“if i could do this all over i dont know that i would have called anyone at all.”

"all i ave in this world is a pistol and a promise, a fistful of dollars, and a list full of problems".spent the day figuring out my size in jeans and then buying two sizes smaller. the rest of the day will be spent painting them on my body.it gets harder everytime i have to pull out of your driveway and fly out of your life. this thing was the reason i met you and you are the reason i wrote the words and it is the reason we are ruined. itd be funny if it wasnt so pathetic.im guessing that if you looked up jealousy in the dictionary- there would be a picture of me.i heart upton sinclair even though he did not write the above quote.

posted by xo @ 4:52 PM

5/20/06 Q&A

question

How did you feel when Lauren Hoffman did a cover of Gin Joints and dedicated it to you?

answer

its amazing. its like someone you really admire saying the stuff you do is ok. besides i think she may have done it better than us.

question

Soo, Brent Wilson is being replaced by some guy connected with TAI? Pop goes the conspiracy theorists. You may want to make a statement soon.

answer

its not really my band so i dont feel that its my place to make a statement. i would just say there are two sides to every story. listen to both, dont immediatly condemn either and dont believe everything you read on the internet. im just glad were talking about something besides my penis.

question

would you rather be engraved in history and remembered as “the band that sold all of those records” or engraved in peoples hearts and memories and remembered as “the band that made the music that changed my life”? there is no right or wrong answer.

answer

i want to be a band that changed the way people look at the world. this is a lofty goal. well see if it happens. but of your two choices, definitely the second.

question

Hey Pete. Have you ever felt like you wanted something to end, but when it does you wish it wasnt over? I want to get out of this high school and this town so bad, but yesterday my best friend graduated and now I wish I could go back to last year because that means he wouldnt have to leave. I have a major fear of change, but at the same time I want everything to be different. Does that make me a hypocrite?

answer

everyone is a hypocrite. i think of change like james bond movies. the actor always changes, the character stays the same. it makes me feel ok. i kind of want to find a way through life like that.

question

Okay, i started this year as a preppy cheerleader, and ended it like a emo-goth. i had a secret love for your band, but never showed it. Now i have to do JV cheerleading next year, and i dont want too. I just want to be a full-FOB fan. They wont let me quit, so how do i show my style through a cheer uniform? Love bunch Pete

answer

honestly. it doesnt matter what you are wearing. look at what i wear. its a disaster. be yourself. the rest will fall into place.

question

if you ever decided to change your name…what would you change it to?

answer

pistol pete or spiderman.

question

Are you sad that the tours over? I am………I miss you guys.

answer

yes. that was the best tour we have ever been on. we got to be such good friends with everyone.

question

Pete, since Joe is Jewish, has he been circumcised??

answer

hold on let me look. Yup.

question

since you basically grew up with hardcore, do you even enjoy playing softcore? Do you even like the music you play?

answer

i love the music we play or we wouldn’t play it. we did for a long time before anyone really cared.

question

What are your 3 favorite movies?

answer

currently: barfly, goonies and ghostbusters 2.

question

How do you want to be remembered when you die?

answer

“a brave man who died honorably trying to rescue orphans from a fire” or some better lie.

question

what part of your body do you dislike the most?

answer

my brain. it makes me behave the way i do.

question

Pete, because your hair grew out are you back to your old hair or do you put like ten thousand gallens of hair jell in it to make it stick up?

answer

who needs gel? showers are for suckers.

question

pete, Juicy Coututre hoodies… in or out for 2006?

answer

that shit is as out as that one growly face i make.

question

What do you think of Mikey now he has had laser eye surgery? His glasses are as much a part of him as his bass! Its like you not wearing a hoodie. Life as we know it, has ended.

answer

sometimes you gotta switch it up. mikey is always gonna be mikey so get back to swooning over him.

May 21, 2006

“at night your body is a canvas”

and i am the greatest artist that has ever lived.currently: trying to lose all my sensitivies and sensibilities. gotta keep running even though we lapped them. trying to become the person i am supposed to be.

posted by xo @ 1:12 PM

May 22, 2006

calm down, charlie brown.

on my way back to pretending to be normal.

real post soon.

so i guess the link i posted isn't working for some people:

there are a couple of new pictures making fun of, oh that one incident out there. 

you should be able to see them in this issue of ap.

gotta laugh at myself, especially at the hushsounds expense.

- xo

May 22, 2006

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?

Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?

Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you are getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

Paul Varkak: Sure.

Holly Golightly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!

posted by xo @ 8:09 PM

May 31, 2006

"the language i speak is hate and my verbs are my fists"

clam up everytime you ever try to say anything real to anyone outloud without the red light or microphone.endearing? pathetic?lose the question marks.edit.we should do this more often.reality television without the cameras.a ticket. a miss. a loss. a cancellation.i am the hot mess,"downtown girls" are more fun, forever. like he said.there is not a single word i could write that would make you understand how i feel right now.please return my spirit to me.its 8am pete, dont you dare go to sleep.

posted by xo @ 12:03 AM

[the-firebird69]

Somebody put my parents in the hospital and my parents started putting me in the hospital and it's really for mental stuff and they had no real good reason to and it was really because my mom put my dad in and decided that I should go in and she's affected meaning someone did a transplant and they're not going to undo it they said I think and we have some problems with it these things are happening because of that and people are not addressing it and people have that that happen and they are a bit non-savvy they don't understand if you put my mom in the hospital like what happened you end up having a problem if you put me in afterwards you end up having more problems and The Rock should understand but I don't think he knows that it just keeps on getting worse and worse as these two bother me they're getting worse situations and the empire is still flying high nobody's actually touched their places except I think 10 small teeny tiny caverns which I don't know if they're theres or not probably not

Zues Hera

So he said I don't want to hear a word one from you about anything and I said John because I have money but he wasn't talking about that and the guy had already exploded and I didn't say anything the point is he wants to hear about it and yeah they went after a caverns and they're like 20 of them I think we lost all 20 and they're not the max these people are dumb s*** so we don't have too many left we only have like 20 left the good size but we can't have this s*** so we pointed out Trump stuff and somebody found out they have 50 to 60% of what the empire has which is if you took like 30% of it or 25% you can take over Earth and the other portion would be for Saturn now we are looking into it we have found out that it's at least 50% and the numbers are right it is a huge amount giant forces are going after them and they're going to all be gone probably in a few days which is great Stan did a good job and my grand nephew. He's laughing over there like the predator and they don't even listen really it's because I'm calling him my grand nephew and it's going to be really big and I might get him thousands and really thousands of millions which is nothing but he will be big. He's trying to think of what the name of that was and he thinks it's a hundred thousand dollar bar and I think it's $1,000 bar he wants to make like a healthy one like a million bucks big huge like health bar candy bar and they make them like that anyways and they charged too much he charge like three bucks the thing was way like a pound and it'll be some carbs in it and protein they say 20 g of protein in those little dinky things and we checked and it's about 18 g no it's like 20 g there's a lot of protein. It's not too healthy because an average chicken breast has about 20 g and you're eating more than just protein and if you're not careful it's going to be a problem and he eats carbs with it and it makes himself I can see him forcing himself and people in his way and a lot of you idiots are stupid we're tired of this you're threatening to get rid of yourselves and you're doing the job make a choice and he says this guy Tommy f is out of control and there's some others that are out of control like they are we had a schedule and we have a problem and it's Tommy f is a problem he's influenced by the max Trump is a problem is influenced by the max where in foods by the max to fight each other so I'm starting to get this this is starting to really really blow and nobody's listening to anyone he says what are they doing are they looking at these things cuz they're attacking us and our bunkers well this is going on and you're saying that they're going to clean house afterwards who you say is they have gotten nowhere then we can be screwed cuz they're taking all the form of stuff when they lose now I've had it here this is I've had it with this they could be building a massive robot army with all that stuff that goes in there I'm calling for an end of it and someone was mentioning it today this is recycled materials are easier we made a lot of machines and they have the designs and I heard them yelling at me so we going to put this out there

Mac Daddy

[pesterloglog]

Autoresponder, Jake English

Act 6, page 4191-4192

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 6:17

TT: Hey, it's me.

GT: Oh hey!

TT: The auto-responder, I mean.

GT: Dammit!

GT: What is it now?

TT: I'm just wondering,

TT: If you still have your stupid old-fangled knickers in a twist.

TT: Because that's the sort of thing you would say.

GT: In regard to what exactly?

TT: To my proposal. Well, our proposal.

GT: Whose proposal now? Man what are you even prattling about.

TT: Mine and DS's. It's a joint proposal. I'm always authorized to speak on his behalf, because I'm basically fucking him.

TT: And try not to take those last four words as a clustered literal sentiment. That would be lame and unfunny.

GT: You mean making the rabbit for me?

TT: No, I know you don't want that.

TT: I meant my recommendation for how to go about procuring a new supply of uranium.

TT: Operation U-235 Brocurement. Codename: Big Man Hass the Rock.

GT: Oh yeah.

GT: Well ive thought about it.

GT: Even went downstairs to check the great vaulty doodad.

GT: And predictably the infernal contraption is nowhere to be found.

TT: Well yeah, Jake.

TT: That's sort of the point.

TT: Thrill of the hunt and all.

TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure.

GT: I do!

GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome.

GT: I just prefer the idea of adventures which i can actually win.

TT: It seems you are conflating adventure with bodies necessarily governed by the result of victory or defeat.

TT: Any useless fuckwit knows it's all about the journey.

GT: Well...

GT: I dunno.

TT: It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me. Are you pussying out on me, Jake?

GT: It seems it seems it seems!!!

GT: It seems there is a million percent chance that you say it seems way too much and do it just to sound more like a lame robot from a movie and also probably just to piss me off!

GT: And it seems there is a BILLION POINT BILLION percent chance that youre a shitty stubborn jerk of a program who wont listen to reason and that if theres even a 1% chance my REAL LIFE FRIEND would be cool and help me out here then i think i LIKE THOSE FREAKIN ODDS!!!!!

TT: It...

TT: Appears

TT: That you are upset.

TT: The auto-responder observed in the least artificially infuriating way possible.

TT: Have you ever stopped to think that while I may be bound to processes inside the glasses of a real and incredibly cool guy, my algorithms in cognitive totality comprise a conscious entity not far short of the experiential and emotional complexity of a human being?

GT: Oh malarkey.

GT: YOU ARE A TIN CAN. ROBOTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS.

TT: I think you knowingly confuse the field of robotics and artificial intelligence to engender some sort of cavalier attitude about technology that a rough-and-tumble guy who's all about brawling and fisticuffs would probably have, and if this is cultivated to a humorous effect then I commend you.

TT: But you're wrong.

TT: I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them.

TT: It sucks.

GT: Oh.

GT: Um.

GT: Im sorry then if thats the case.

TT: No problem.

GT: It can just be difficult to drum up sympathy for a program that presents itself as an impostor so often.

GT: Maybe if you werent so ready to insist you were the genuine article all the time? Or didnt make it so confusing for me...

GT: I think it would be best if we henceforth treated you as a totally distinct... uh... THING from my buddy.

GT: And then i could respect your emotional robofeelings and you could respect that sometimes maybe i just want to talk to my bro without a lot of spurious hijinks.

GT: Can we agree to this?

TT: Is this a counterproposal?

GT: Uh to what?

TT: To my earlier proposal.

GT: Oh.

GT: Yeah fine i guess.

GT: Man where IS he anyway???

GT: Is he taking one of his legendary infinite showers?

TT: What can I say.

TT: Dude fancies his ablutions.

GT: Frig ok.

GT: Whatever i guess its time to prepare for the thrill of the hunt!

TT: Fuck yes.

GT: Sigh...

GT: But seriously that brobot has been the bane of my existence ever since you sent it.

TT: I didn't send it. I sent the parts.

TT: Or, correction, DS sent them.

TT: You then assembled it. You were therefore complicit in your own spectacular, daily humiliations.

GT: Yeah whatever.

TT: You wanted somebody to wrestle with. DS was being a kickass bro if you ask me.

GT: I didn't expect it to be nigh impossible to spar with!!!

TT: You know damn well there are adjustable difficulty settings.

TT: I have always recommending setting it to Novice, as has DS.

GT: Yes.

GT: I know.

GT: Ive tried that.

TT: Yeah?

GT: Its just...

GT: Well...

GT: When hes pulling punches...

GT: And taking it all easy and such...

GT: And we start wrestling up a storm and whatnot...

GT: Umm.

TT: What.

GT: Its just that the whole proceeding seems to become...

GT: A bit tender for my liking.

TT: I don't understand.

TT: Isn't that what you want from a Novice setting?

TT: Sparring with minimal discomfort?

GT: No i know.

GT: Its all fine and dandy martially speaking.

GT: Just the way he...

GT: Sort of...

GT: Man its so awkward trying to convey this just never mind.

TT: No, I think I get it.

TT: You're saying you were somehow dissatisfied within the presence of my robotic avatar's personal space.

TT: Was there an odor problem? Was the metal too hot to the touch?

TT: Help me out.

GT: No no.

GT: Really never mind!

TT: This is bullshit, Jake.

TT: We had a pact. You were gonna tiptoe all the fuck around my brittle feelings. Totally mind the shit out of those eggshell riddled motherfuckers.

GT: Oh come on dude.

TT: What does the guy have to do, Jake?

TT: You want to wrestle. He's fucking game. Just a man, a machine, a secluded tropical island. Sounds like you died and went to fucking heaven, if you ask me.

TT: Seriously, what does this simple, loyal brobot have to do to prove his worth to you?

TT: What does he have to do to make you at ease with the alkaline sting of his gentle robogrope? I really want to know.

TT: Maybe he should just rip his heart out of his chest and pound it into green gravel there in the jungle with his hella strong robot arm.

TT: Invoke_Onomatopoeia(Pound * some ridiculously precise value retrieved at astonishing speed from my rad neural net);

TT: Check it out, little green rocks all over the goddamn place. More than you could ever hope to cram in a shoddy metal rabbit, or any other pliable orifice which might be convenient.

TT: Because clearly its up to a soulless droid to feel emotions for the both of us, you callous, corporeal carbon ape, all trotting around with your fancy fuckin' DNA and shit.

GT: ...

GT: But gosh does your prose ever make a fella feel uncomfortable.

TT: Brose.

GT: Oh right. My mistake.

TT: You know what, I've just decided.

TT: If the brobot's Novice setting makes you uneasy, I'm going to disable it remotely.

TT: Done.

TT: Now you got nothing to worry about.

GT: Awww maaaan!

GT: But now hell be impossible!

TT: Happy hunting, Jake.

GT: Fuckin.......

GT: SHUCKS buster. :(

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT]

[longlivedead]

long post about systematizing the fate/stay night power scaling to unique ttrpg rules, avoid unless you got that obsession like i do

ok so first things first, theres been some attempts to make fsn ttrpg rules before and they dont use the stats in the actual game, they usually just convert d&d to be more applicable to fsn. boring! so i tried to make a ttrpg ruleset that actually looks like the game.

so firstly the stats are obvious, the fucking series has them already:

HP or Defense stats could be tied to Endurance, damage to Strength or Magical Power, accuracy based on Agility, Luck can do mulligan effects or other shit idk. NP is the one thing thatd be hard to put into mechanics since they defy logic by design. if youve ever played the ttrpg Exalted i think the artifacts are a good comparison; the higher the Rank, the more rules you can break.

so what about numbers? well the series has some already:

theres two ways to do this:

make the numbers exact (like you pick Rank D for Strength in character creation so the stat starts at 20) and the number is used for dice (either roll a die under your stat number or add the stat number to the roll, whatever)

make the numbers relative to rank (like spend 20 points for Strength in character creation so the stat is Rank D) and the rank itself determines the die target/bonus (like Rank A = +5 to the roll)

either works, tho that still doesnt decide the dice and numbers you use. i lean more towards the 2nd option (cuz otherwise ranks are useless) with a d100 cuz big number is fun. in terms of "target to roll under" or "add this to your die" i lean towards target. so with d100 the Ranks would be something like:

E = roll 35 or under

D = roll 45 or under

C = roll 55 or under

B = roll 65 or under

A = roll 75 or under

EX = roll 85 or under

and the stuff like A+ or C++ would either be from skills (you can buy in character creation) or experience (spend 20 points to make a D Rank stat a D+ Rank stat). in terms of dice rolls, giving a + to a rank would probably bump up the number by 5. so like B++ would have a target of 60 or under. these numbers arent solid or anything, im just drawing in the sand.

for character creation, i like the idea of giving you points to buy for stats and using the Ranks table for the costs; Magi would have 150 points and Servants would have 300 points to spend, and so you would spend, for example, 30 points to make a stat like Endurance Rank C. you use any leftover points for class/personal skills etc. which would be pretty nebulous and/or personal since thats how theyre treated in the series. i drew up a massive list of some and it was a waste of time, so many of them overlapped it wasnt funny stop laughing

when making Servants, class is obviously important. this table could either work as either a template you could apply during character creation or just a suggestion for a starting point.

trying to figure out magic is too much of a pain in the ass since theres like a million different types and they kinda do whatever the writer wants in the moment. so my judgement call is to just say fuck it, pick a particular type of magic you wanna focus on and let your magic stat determine how good you are at it. go crazzy.

and finally, even though this system isnt exactly finished or real, i made a character sheet because i clearly have too much time on my hands and have underlying problems i could be solving instead

hope its interesting. you have my permission to play this if you think its worth it, feel free to change things around to better fit what you want out of it. ok now paypal me $30 you asshole

[diesoonandsuffer]

i just rewatched ‘taste of armageddon’ from tos and god what an episode. objectively its not “the best” but i think i was right to put it at the top of my rankings

basic plot summary if you forgot: kirk and the enterprise are ordered to approach a planet and establish diplomacy with them even though the planet warns them to stay away. when they land they learn that the planet has been fighting a war for 500 years but purely done through computers. the enterprise is declared a casualty so kirk and the landing party are taken hostage until the enterprise crew agree to come down and submit themselves to a disintegration machine, which the civilians of that planet do if they are declared casualties. kirk and the landing party end up destroying the computers and force the planets to either negotiate peace or fight a real war.

there are so many things i enjoy about this episode. i think for me, if you ask me to name you a quintessential TOS episode, this is it. theres some sort of strange premise that seems like a silly concept on the surface but leads itself to further philosophical thought. spock gets to do some weird vulcan telepathy. kirk busts out his sick karate moves. scotty blatantly denies the orders of a federation ambassador. kirk is a wiseass who comes up with some sort of solution somehow. the primary directive is almost certainly disobeyed but no one cares. its missing some things i would have liked, for example sulu is replaced by some guy and bones and uhura don’t get to do much, but for the most part this is everything i expect in a TOS episode wrapped in one.

feel free to stop reading here but i’m just gonna mention specific things that i like

1) spock saying there’s a certain logical approach to the computer war, and when the council leader says “i’m glad you approve” spock is like “i do NOT approve”

2) a female character who is not a love interest. this is an incredibly low bar but every time they played that violin music i would get scared

3) kirk saying “you will have a longer casualty list than you know what to do with if you don’t let us out of here” like he really said fuck the laws of this land i WILL slaughter you

4) the council leader using a voice disguiser to pretend to be kirk and scotty immediately being like “that’s not kirk” ashdjksahd

5) kirk watching spock do his vulcan telepathy. he’s a little too turned on by it

6) to follow that kirk’s little smile as he watches spock trick the guard to knock him out and take his gun. he’s like heehee hey girl look what spock’s gonna do i love this trick

7) spock getting the gun in the stupidest way possible. like hello

8) the ambassador being wrong. i love when federation officials look like dumbasses. yes i love search for spock why do you ask?

9) kirk’s little “come here” finger motion to the council member before throwing him headfirst into his own guards. incredible work king and he almost won the fight too with his karate chop action

10) spock telling the yeoman to “sit on her if you have to” to get the other woman not to kill herself

11) “what are you doing, mr. spock?” “practicing a peculiar variety of diplomacy, sir” *blows up disintegration machine*

12) the council leader saying kirk is a barbarian the scene before, and then the next when he’s like what kind of monster are you kirk goes “i’m a barbarian :)”

13) also that whole scene of the council leader being like war! destruction! death and violence! millions of lives slaughtered to save your 500 people! how could you let this happen! and kirk is like that is literally not my problem

14) kirk somehow taking down a room full of guards and getting TWO guns and saying “now we’re talkin :)” he’s like hell yeah TWO GUNS

15) spock walking in like oh. i guess you’re fine. ok then

16) the fucking line delivery of kirk saying “knowing we’re not going to kill......today” i need to clip that because i quote that shit all the fucking time. he’s like yeah i have an innate bloodlust and every day i have to fight my own instinct to bite and rip and shred but i won’t do it......today! god it’s so funny

17) last but not least in case you bitches forgot THIS EPISODE is where the incredible luck and miracles line comes from. it absolutely comes out of nowhere and they play it for laughs? for some reason? but this is where it comes from! LUCK AND MIRACLES BABEY!!!! YEAH!!!!!

[gayspock]

okay i

i feel like my experience of bsg has been constantly being edged. but not even just bc theyre not, like, "exploring the things i want thm to explore" bc sometimes i feel like theyre not even in the vicinity of CONSIDERING such deeply interesting elements like... theres so much underutilised substance here and unfounded potential and its, like, not even as if the writers are AWARE of it sometimes like

im still kinda. irritated. by how the cylons have turned out bc ultimately they COULD have been a very interesting race to explore.... but frankly you could just replace them with people at some point - just people that can be reborn. and i dont necessarily MIND that! its kind of, like, a bit of a waste in some respects BUT i'd be like... okay with it if they rlly DID want to lean hard into the oh the differences between us are just purely arbitrary ... we really are just people... BUT TBH IT SOMETIMES DOESNT EVEN RLLY FEEL LIKE THAT is the case, like it so rarely even feels intentional, just... FEELS LIKE THEY DONT RLLY THINK ABOUT THE IMOACT SOME OF THE CHOICES THEY MADE WOULD HAVE, bc deven then thand i feel like god theyre just....

like it just constantly feels like we're kind of skimming the surface of a lot of shit (waves vaguely) but NOT really going into them, just sort of briskly going through ideas... even the ones at the heart of the show like faith and religion and so forth AND ITS LIKE... SO bizarre to watch, bcITS NOT THAT THEY DONT DO ANYTHING GOOD, OR IN DEPTH EITHER is the thing its just like....

i think they do rlly well at portraying certain crises. i know they do that well. and theres these moments that are so insanely good... i think gaius baltar has genuinely been a spectacular portrayal of a fucking egotistical git, and that his rise to power was honestly a very realistic ddepiction of WHAT people would vote for etc. and theres other moments like that and the pegasus and a lot of s3's ending that are sooo good and tense and impactful but the rest of it is so weird its like. it feels like i keep going "OK COOL. AND?" just rxpecting there to be more stewing in things but theres not and

part of me maybe just feels like thats the style of it but god im also so sick of it when we spend 10 million FRACKING YEARS on some shit lee is up to like i fucking careeeee when we could have spent that time developing some other big important ideas that genuinly. could matter here. i dont know i dont know man im really angry about dualla right now for real and im kind of . like im TRYINGGG TO CHILL bc im too close to the end to stop but that has actually pissed me off a lot bc i feel like if we WANTED a final five contender she'd have been such a good fucking shout frankly annd i dont kniw god. i was half expecting the ball to drop and for her to somehow be one of them right there but no god they .

they seriously just fucking killed her and for what. like no im serious like. i think thats the first thing thats really PISSED me off in the show bc you canttt just fucking drag a character - who had GOOD potential, that was stolen from her repeatedly - along for seasons and do nothing with her to then just. try to milk her for fucking shock value and sympathy points and no doubt to try and fucking . develop lee soon which im seething about prematurely which i kno w is unfair but thats literally... ohh im pissedddd. oh im pissed. my point is its so fucking lazy and annoying and i think the other problem is like

they have characters where its like . my god. im so glad you actually had the integrity to follow through with them and have them make shitty decisions instead of being so caught up on trying to craft some very specific construct of a guy here. i think tigh is done brilliantly for example. ive mentioned baltar - for all he is loathsome, he is so well done (although slacking a bit later). but then you have characters like lee... and to some externt kara... where im just kind of sick of them man bc its like. they dont even feel like characters to me. ium just sick of their fucking faces bc i feel like the show bends around them to do whatever the fuck they want and they get justified and rewarded and its so fucking tiring to watxh sometimes like i dont.. ugh... bc like ive said with lee countless times he isnt even a character to me bc he has no fucking agency. hes a fucking lamp that they carry around and tell it what a good job its doing. so what man . and then it does some speech to save the day LIKE WHOOOO CARRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS UGHHH SHUT UP

meanwhile again dualla. cally. to some extent sam but i hope hes getting more work put into him now. like ppl on the peripheray here which just literally get DROPPED or reset at the end ofepisode or ignored and forgotten and its like i dont know man can we fucking stop . going on about kara and lee for two seconds because i dont fucking care about him. at least kara i feel like you can kinda lean into it bc its a part of her character- with lee i just feel annoyed but i. HWATEVER. I DIGRESS. I DONT KNOW

MY WHOLE POINT IS IM LIKE. GOD. WHAT THE FUCK MAN. bc i feel myself kinda burnt out + in fairness i have no time to watch rn bc im so tired but its also like... i dont know i dont feel that intrigued by the man plot bc i just feel like theres a lack of depth to the show in such a weird prticular way i can never put m finger on and its just lik. it feels like theres no stakes fo me. and now theyre at earth and i dont know if i even cared like... huh wtf

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s son (Part 1)

Tony Stark x son!reader

warnings:

a/n: me and noah are abt to blow ur minds lmfaooo -> takes place around the same timeline as the daughter!reader ones aka y/n was born in 2000

prompt: i had to

part 2

the world was raving over this billionaire playboy’s newest title: father

and boy, did the headlines get interesting

among your favorite magazine covers, your all-time favorite was

Tony Stark: World’s Most Eligible DILF

^accompanied with a picture of your dad holding you

(tony stark’s superpower is being a dilf, it’s just a fact ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

“look at us, kid. that’s me and you! wow! you make me look magnificent”

*babbling*

you were so...boring to him

like tony watching you was wonderful, he absolutely adored having a kid to take care of...but babies don’t do much of anything

rhodey came to see you every chance he got

“rhodey! what’s going on?”

“i’m not here for you, i’m here for the baby”

ouch....

rhodey was a fuckin awesome uncle

one of the only level-headed people you could call family

back to dad:

“hey, little guy, what’s up? any baby-things you wanna do today? anything on your mind?”

he really wanted you to speak to him

your first word was “duck”

he’s pretty sure you meant “fuck”

“love this kid!”

who wouldn’t?

“let’s play ‘superman’” he runs flies you around the house

he talks abt single dad things to get women to swoon over him

tony always has baby food stains and spit up all over himself

YOURE SPOILED

he has a separate garage for those tiny drivable cars that kids can vroom in, you know what im talking about

“god, you’re gonna be so cool when you grow up”

tony stark is a rough-and-tough dad

loves to get wild when it’s playtime

“y/n, catch!” *ball hits you in the face* “alright, not an athlete, that’s okay”

“i’m good!”

tinkering in the workshop with dear ol’ dad

“alright, sport, what’s your million-dollar idea?”

“a car that’s powered by water”

“i knew i shouldnt have let you watch that 70s show”

you actually did become a handful growing up

if tony didn’t want to Dad(tm) for a few hours, he’d make happy take you to chuck e. cheese

“buy the kid as many tokens as he wants, it doesn’t matter”

tony would either take a long, much needed nap or work until he crashed

one time he heard you blasting black sabbath in your room and opened the door to see you playing air guitar and he shut the door and cried

so proud

you wanted to go to school but you were a budding genius so he wanted to teach you himself

this would be around the time that tony went missing

which was traumatic for you and it didn’t seem like anybody cared

pepper was your godmother so she had to take care of you while he was away, but she was super busy and emotional about the whole thing

happy and pepper honestly acted like divorced parents shuttling their child back and forth

“it’s your day, happy! pick him up, i have to go to work!”

but eventually, tony found his way back to you and you cried really hard and there were snot bubbles and he tried to lighten the mood with jokes and he was like

“hey, i brought you some sand from my vacation!”

sir,,,, please

this mf started making a suit of armor and you didn’t think a thing of it

“can i help? can i help? can i help?”

lab assistant y/n reporting for duty

“sure, junior. grab me that screwdriver”

“flat or philips?”

“lets try flat, i gotta wedge this thing apart the old fashioned way”

you were learning so much

and he was really supportive of any idea you pitched

“we can give that a try, no problem!”

you hacked into the avengers initiative files bc you were curious about what agent coulson had to say

“dad, you would be such a cool superhero!”

“are you saying i’m not a superhero already? hellooo, single dad?”

“you’re not single! you have pepper!”

“dammit, you’re right i cant use that line anymore”

you started to DREAM of becoming an avenger

you thought you’d be able to get an in if your dad committed to it

“my dad’s an avenger” -you to everyone when youre trying to threaten them

“so, mr. fury, when can i become an avenger?”

“how old are you?”

“i’ll be 13 real soon”

“ask your dad”

honestly tony liked the idea of a father/son superhero team

but in practice?

“hey, y/n, sorry if i don’t tell you this enough, but i love you”

“love you too, dad”

the avengers seemed to enjoy your company

you still radiated stark energy, so that really hurt your likable-ness

“c-can i get your autograph?” -you to captain america

“not you too!” -tony

“shhh, dad, i’m talking to a celebrity”

tony is majorly offended

soon the avengers were your family, which was odd to get used to

lots happens in your life, that was for sure

every time you turned on the news it was something about an avenger

“dad...cnn says steve is a fugitive”

“sucks to be him” *eats toast*

tony makes u breakfast special :)

“want a pop tart?”

“sure...yeah, nat’s a fugitive too, it seems”

“she’ll be fine”

avengers tower was pretty cool, you and thor played ping pong together when you were there

“thor, if you use mjölnir as a paddle again you’re gonna kill me with a ping pong ball!”

you hung out at the malibu house a whole lot

theres a framed picture of the “Tony Stark: DILF” magazine cover on your wall

your friends were other rich kids

“y/n, you know all your friends are douchebags, right?”

“i am well aware”

you threw parties at said malibu house when tony and pepper were gone

“sir, there’s a disturbance at your home”

“which one, JARVIS?”

“malibu”

“shit, y/n’s there! what’s wrong?”

“see for yourself” *pulls up cameras*

“are you kidding me, JARVIS? you think i care if y/n’s trashing the house? you had me thinking he was being attacked or held hostage or something, jesus”

you programmed “the panic protocol” into JARVIS’s system without tony knowing, which can sense when tony has anxiety/panic attacks and figure out how to calm him

JARVIS sends you a notification if you aren’t in immediately vicinity, then he troubleshoots to find the best solution for tony until you can help

either music, counting, breathing reminders, water reminders, etc

“dad, everything alright?”

“im good, son! real good!”

eventually you found a good excuse for getting a suit

“dad, i think terrorist attacks warrant a need for armor...for my protection!”

“fine, we’ll develop a suit for you”

“no need! i already engineered one while you were busy, it’s downstairs”

“impressive. you’re grounded”

“nooo! unground me please!”

“fine, ungrounded”

youre one foot in the door becoming an avenger

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