#the reason it's something i /cannot/ stand instead of just like a pet peeve or something is

[lakesbian]

alright this one is getting its own post instead of a reblog on a post that is Entirely Not About That. presenting the 'what if we put amy and alec in a room together' manifesto because the thing is that it is interesting but not in the way amy/alec shippers think

Amy shook her head, talking over her, “She’s always been emotional, passionate, unrestrained, and she’s channeling all this new emotion into hate, because it’s the closest equivalent.” “New emotion?” Regent asked.  “You mean you mindraped her.” Amy looked like she’d been slapped across the face.  I wasn’t surprised, but hearing it said out loud was unsettling.

“Nice,” Regent said.  “She could be a human-spider hybrid.  Add some insult to injury with the mindrape thing.” I could see Amy tense.

it is relevant to his character that he's the first person to cut through amy's euphemisms (and everyone else's avoidance of saying the unsettling part out loud) and outright say "you mindraped her." he calls the euphemistic language out and then intentionally repeats it a second time for no other reason than to bug her about it. it's vaguely reminiscent of something he says to sophia during his interlude:

“You and I are more alike than you’d suspect, I think,” he said. “We’re both arrogant assholes, yeah?  Difference is, I admit it, I don’t dress it up and tell myself that I’m a bitch and that that’s a good thing.”  He burned Emma’s face out of another photo.

he has a repeated habit of making people uncomfortable by calling something out for exactly what it is, whether it be "yeah sure cape groupies, my dad's girls, people i used my power on towards the end" or "you mean you mindraped her." he's desensitized enough to really all forms of violence to be unbothered by committing or witnessing them, but he seems to harbor a genuine pet peeve for people who obscure or unreasonably justify what they're actually doing. as uncomfortable as he can make taylor, it's often not that he's doing things worse than the other undersiders, but that he's the person most willing to openly admit what he's doing--or to pettily call out what someone else is doing.

i think it more or less boils down to the fact that he's never gotten to be the person on the peripherals of violence making up neat and tidy ways to talk about it: he spent his entire childhood being hurt in every way imaginable & being coerced into doing the same to others. i think it left him with a sort of genuine distaste for being expected to talk in circles around the viscerally awful things he had done to him or did to others, and subsequently, for people who have done similar things but can't fucking fess up to the reality of it. it's like he's been walking around his entire life just absolutely drenched in blood, witnessing so much else get covered in it, and he's starting to get legitimately bothered over people standing around twiddling their thumbs and pretending it's red paint. he knows it's blood. he's been tasting it since he was 6. he would really like if everyone else could also grow up and admit it's fucking blood.

it's always funny to me that amy/alec shipping is, like, a Thing--a niche thing, but a Thing, because i could not think of a rapist more hand-crafted to piss amy dallon off than alec vasil. he cannot go Three seconds in her presence without going "oh you raped her? you mean you raped her? with your mind? like she doesn't just have new feelings you specifically mean you mindraped her?"

she, on some level, views herself as someone who did harm because she's irrevocably, ontologically evil, and is sort of desperately obsessed with minimalizing or half-justifying her actions to herself so that she can avoid recognizing that she feels like she can't be better. she's clinging to the idea that she can be "redeemed" if she does something of equal measure in the opposite direction (e.g 'spending the rest of her life healing people' as she mentions), but because she can't even directly acknowledge how bad her actions actually were without crumbling under the weight of the idea that she's doomed to be that bad, she's fundamentally incapable of looking directly at what she did at this point in the story.

alec, on the other hand, is really fucking upfront and fairly objective about his actions--he never ties them into some Inarguable Truth About His Soul, and he's pretty honest about whether or not he thinks they're justifiable. in 14.1, he has this dialogue with cherie:

“When daddy had you practicing your powers, you ‘hijacked’ a few people at a time, used their bodies to get high with no consequences for you, you threw orgies for yourself…” “Again.  I was a kid.”

but despite the fact that sophia is, on some level, justified in his mind by his "eye for an eye, this is a favor for taylor" rhetoric--he's fine with admitting that he's also just doing it because, yeah, he's an arrogant asshole and he feels like it. some of it was because he was a kid being groomed, and some of it was because He Felt Like It.*

*sure, he only Felt Like It because he has a comically large cocktail of unpacked psychological issues--but he doesn't know that, he just knows he felt like it.

in other words, he doesn't subscribe to the idea that any of his actions are, like, Ontologically Predetermined By His Inner Being or even necessarily all related. he's like the fuckin' "might do it again, prolly not" dude from the sex offender shuffle. okay, sorry for saying that in my seriouspost. but his philosophies would clash hilariously badly with amy--he insists on accepting his own & others actions for exactly what they are, he's generally very invested in not being his father (being asked if he intends to turn out like his dad is one of the only times something briefly upsets him), and he's actually doing pretty okay at that. he's like...shockingly well-adjusted given the circumstances. his entire arc is more or less a slow upward climb.

i think having to be around someone who both believes and would outright admit "yeah i raped people, no i dunno if i feel that bad, no i'm not raking myself over the coals for it, yeah some of it was because i was a kid, yeah some of the other stuff wasn't, no i'm not Predestined To Suck," would like. clash with her beliefs abt 'ontologically evil' being a real thing, abt punishment as justice, etc. in a way that would really bother her. she spends a lot of her time in her head trying to twist things around until they feel salvageable to her, but alec is 0 amount concerned with rationalizing to make him feel alright--he just does things, some bad, most shitty attempts to be better.

it's, funnily enough, far more functional for improving than what amy has going on--he operates on material actions as opposed to her Self-Flagellating Thought Labyrinths, and the fact that he's busier moving on from things he can't materially change than he is kicking himself in the face means he can actually achieve some form of progress towards more functional approaches wrt human interaction. i think if amy had an extended conversation w/ him about the subject, she'd both be disgusted with him for not thinking thoughtcrime is real and deeply resentful that this fellow ontologically evil villain is doing better at moving forwards as a person than her despite not 24/7 flagellating himself + yearning for "redemption" like she is. it'd throw a disturbingly large wrench in her worldview, and she would not be happy about it.

oh, and alec would think she's weird and mopey and dumb and annoying and "why do it if you can't even admit it." and he would probably tell her as much. which is the point where i unlock the door to the room so alec can sprint out to escape amy's attempt to put tastebuds on his asshole.

[floralcrematorium]

Hetalia Emoji Asks:

🌻 - If you could change a single thing about Hetalia as a whole, what would you change? This can be as drastic or as insignificant of a change as you'd like!

😡 - Biggest fandom pet peeve?

🗿 - Do you have a single favorite headcanon (either from yourself or someone else)?

🏳️‍🌈 - Favorite sexuality/gender headcanon(s), if you have them?

Thanks for the ask!!!

🌻 - If you could change a single thing about Hetalia as a whole, what would you change? This can be as drastic or as insignificant of a change as you'd like!

There's a lot of things that could change about the show, but I think the one most feasible for me to explain would be the length of episodes. The show's episodes are easy to binge since they're so short, but it leaves me wanting more. I never feel satisfied watching an episode. I know it's impossible to get the right nuance needed in the show's writing, but I think having the actual time to expand upon some things may be of benefit. Though, there are some episodes that actually benefit from the short format, the Davie episode being the prime example. The Halloween special in World Twinkle was longer than normal and that was so much fun!

😡 - Biggest fandom pet peeve?

Of course there are things that bother me. I hate vagueposting and there are blatantly obvious issues within the fandom in addition to some minor ones. I don't want my blog to become a space where I go on angry rants often and I also don't think it's my place to yell about things I may not have the full picture of, so I won't rant about the fandom rather than explain my general stance on navigating fan spaces:

Your experience in a fandom is cultivated by you. There will always be people who like things you can't stand. You cannot police what other people do. I think the best course of action is to generally just move on. I don't really block people without reason because if I see something I don't like, I just scroll away. If it bothers me, I'll block the tags. There's obviously flaws to this, but I'm someone who just doesn't have the energy to argue so I tend to keep to myself. This really just pertains to certain ships

I do think that there are things that should be called out. Bigotry has no place in any fandom. I've never blocked anyone faster than the person who followed me with an SS uniform hat in their header

I also think that if you make a mistake, apologize and move on. None of us are perfect. There's no need to immediately reply to someone who points out that something you've done may have been harmful when you're still heated. Take the time to reflect then respond. When this happens, it's not an attack on you personally. I've made mistakes before and what I did was apologize and read up on/ask for resources on what I didn't know about

All in all, I came back to the Hetalia fandom because I needed something to keep me busy now that I'm living hundred of miles away from the life I had been building for the last several years. I had my reservations, but I stayed because the fanbase is a great way to be introduced to people, places, and cultures you might not have run into otherwise. I'm constantly learning there are more to subjects I thought I knew about or am learning things I simply wasn't exposed to. I don't personally write nationverse because I don't think I can pull it off as well as others and prefer to just absorb the content instead. Maybe I'll take a crack at it some day, but that's not right now

🗿 - Do you have a single favorite headcanon (either from yourself or someone else)?

I like the idea that Nyo and 1P characters can coexist. The same goes for 2P

I don't know where I stand on the nations having a universal language vs having to learn other languages in order to communicate. Having that language barrier would be interesting. Seeing the way linguistics evolves is really interesting, but I don't know enough about it to say more than that

I like the idea that in nationverse, the characters can die. They'll come back, but they can die. You know Francis was guillotined at least once

I also like the idea that Alice or Amelia may have been tried as witches? When I was developing my Nyo England muse (she's on pause because I have a lot of reading to do for her and I haven't been able to sit down and focus), I had thought considering both Arthur and Alice are associated with magic it would be interesting to see the different ways this affected them. I have a little ramble here about Nyo England

Ludwig has like. Three dogs canonically. I like to think they're his coping mechanism

I don't know where in canon other than the stupid wiki that it says Francis is afraid of computers, but I like to take this and make him completely technologically inexperienced. I like writing him as a guy in his mid twenties who has the most old man ass phone case ever. He knows how to do basic things on a computer, but if any errors happen he's calling Mattie and Alfred for help

🏳️‍🌈 - Favorite sexuality/gender headcanon(s), if you have them?

ASEXUAL ALFRED F. JONES. Not a headcanon I thought I wanted or needed, but one that's helping me come to terms that I may be ace

I generally don't care about sexuality headcanons because I don't really use labels for myself. I find it hard to assign myself a label so it's even harder for me to do so to characters who aren't me. I've seen people using different ship names depending on who they think is the dom, but i just really do. not. care. I use what the most popular name of the ship is

Hetalia Asks

[gfitzwillsebastianz3rd]

It's been a month and a half since I got back to my blorbos and started writing again, and I'm happy to feel like I've improved.

I'm also happy to have noticed that my beige writing flags still include the following:

- Giving characters with the least amount of screentime more dialogue, sometimes directly from the MC’s mouth because it suits them better.

- Making the MC physically, emotionally or mentally unavailable when the original dialogue makes them look like a spineless dummy or they have no dialogue. (They can still *be* a dummy, I just cut out all the recap dialogue and add reasonable intelligence.)

- MC more often than not, is a sarcastic deadpanning a-hole when I'm tired of a character’s cannon nonsense attitude.

- Soft spots for the MC I find has the most trauma, and reasonable/understandable reactions to it. They are not a rock, they need a nap, a listening ear, and possibly a hug.

- Removing an LI, SC or MC from a scene for something mundane like packing a suitcase, using the bathroom or not wanting to be in a space with another character they can't stand.

- Using a pet or small baby/toddler/child to call out the characters crappy behaviour indirectly or distract them from a situation. Mostly comic relief or to be cute when scenes are emotional or tense.

-Male MC is always the doting parent to their cannon child/children or fanchild. I physically cannot write at least one character in any story who doesn’t adore them.

- Putting the characters in outfits either due to obligation or the fact that the character loves/hates that clothing for the dialogue opportunities.

Bonus points if the reactions are body language more than dialogue.

- MC will develop in confidence instead of staying static, but will also have moments of vulnerability where they go in the opposite direction.

- Sex scenes between LI’s do not have blackouts where the reader gets confused about where the characters are. It’s a pet peeve and aftercare is important.

- Making sure there are transitions in between the scenes so characters do not magically appear and disappear with all their belongings suddenly where they need to be. Bonus points for making the MC/LI/SC mess up and forget something. Even if they are not human, they have something resembling humanity and it’s foils.

- There will be fan art. I hyperfixate and you will see lots of it, hand drawn, drawn digitally, or even commissioned. 🤩

Possible Red flags I always find in my writing -

- Giving the Characters their wildest dream/worst nightmare and having them realise how unprepared they are to test plot Armour and understand their headspace as a writer.

- Researching the changes of the character’s motivation to extremes and being obvious about it.

- Rich MC always shows affection for the group by splashing the cash even if they grew up modestly.

- Male MC is always written as if they are emotionally intelligent even if it takes a while for them to trust the others/Chosen LI/SC to talk to.

-Female MC/LI/SC starts off awkward as I struggle to write them. Usually takes a whole story and a half to get into that character’s head.

[wily-one24]

questions: 6, 12, 34, 38

Ooooh, more asks. I love it. :D

6. What's the best part of being online/ a creator?

Well, the best obviously is the interaction. I love talking to people and going back and forth with theories and discussions and squeeing and fandom loving. It's so much fun. I adore it.

And, of course, being as modest as I am, I love discussing my fics with people in the comments. The give and take, back and forth, it's energising.

The worst?

Sometimes i can put pressure on myself to get things done. It's supposed to fandom, a fun space, and most times I realise this, but this week I have been especially non-productive in fic writing. My friend keeps remindign me that I've been putting out bunches lately, so I deserve a break, but... I feel disappointed in myself.

Also, obvi, the odd fandom hate. But I only ever got that in OUaT fandom. I stay WAY AWAY from fandom dramas the majority of the time. Live and let live. Be free, baby. It's all good in the garden.

12. What's some good advice you want to share?

Do not borrow stress/worry from the future.

It sounds so simple, but I think this is a trap that is incredibly easy to fall into and a lot of us do it, myself included. Something happens and we begin to catastrophise. We think up the worst scenarios. "What if...?" and "When this...?" etc.

An example: my son has lost an item he really wants. He remembers lending it to his friend, but over text his friend said he didn't have it. He has torn his bedroom apart looking for it.

He could barely even sleep last night, almost in tears.

I had to remind him, reassure him. We have a plan.

He's going to speak to his friend face to face at school today and remind him (without accusing) that his is an important item.

If the friend really doesn't have it, we are going to clean his room from top to bottom (and probably excavate some ancient ruins, I have no idea what the hell is in that room, tbh).

If we still don't find it after that, we will make a new plan.

If worst comes to worst and the item is really lost, it is an item and can be replaced. Obviously, it would be better if we find it.

But he should not work himself up into a panicked/anxious state about never having this thing again, when there are things to do and a plan to follow and solutions to find.

This is a SMALL example of things we all do every day. An allegory for the huge, more adult problems we face. Like, we panic about situations and go into crisis mode and borrow stress from the future. TRY NOT TO DO THAT. Follow your steps first. Look for solutions.

At least, follow the steps and look for solutions BEFORE you stress and panic. Once things become present instead of future, then you should worry about them.

34. Any pet peeves?

I mean, rudeness.

More particularly, I cannot stand loud eaters. I just... I can't. It annoys the ever living fuck out of me. I cannot sit next to someone who eats loudly.

It's a personal thing, I admit it. It's definitely some processing thing, I can't tell you why. But it drives me absolutely bonkers. I try to be reasonable and, if possible, remove myself from the situation.

I have had to relax my rules in the house about eating in the bedrooms (well, I mean, the kids are teenagers now, they deserve some responsibility). Because now I tell them with snack foods and stuff they can just go eat in their rooms, rather than sit right behind me crunching on crackers or popcorn or apples or some other loud as fuck shit they happen to find in a draw marked "things that will drive mum batshit crazy". Obvi they can't take, like, entire plates of spaghetti down there, but snack foods yes.

Or I will leave the room so I don't end up yelling. Because I will end up doing that.

There are certain times, like out in public and with large groups, where this is unavoidable. In which case... I try my absolute hardest to grin and bear it. But it's really damned difficult.

But overall?

Rudeness. There's no need for it.

Just be nice, man.

38. This is the favourite song question, which I just answered. You can find the answers... here.

@dahllaz, thank you for some thought provoking questions!!!

[yandere-daydreams]

I get what you mean about the insecure readers, but I personally love them because the writers are like, “UWU, these murderers and torturers would never judge you based on your looks 🥺👉👈” (Like, fat phobia is bad, but as a fat person, I still feel like murder is worse)

[mimicofmodes]

“The Ladies Waldegrave” by Joshua Reynolds, 1780 (NGS NG2171)

I’ve complained before about two very big pet peeves of mine - corset stuff and Regency women being dressed in 1770s-1780s clothes - but one that may dwarf them because of how frequently it comes up in historical and fantasy fiction is the oppression of embroidery.

That’s probably putting it a bit too strongly. It’s more like ... the annoyance of embroidery. Every character worth reading about knows instinctively that sewing is a) boring, b) difficult, c) mindless, and d) pointless. The author doesn’t have to say anything more than “Belinda threw down her needlework and looked out the window, sighing,” to signal that this is an independent woman whose values align with the modern reader, who’s probably not really understood by her mother or mother figure, and who probably will find an extraordinary man to “match” her rather than settling for someone ordinary. To look at an example from fantasy, GRRM uses embroidery in the very beginning of A Game of Thrones to show that the Stark sister who dislikes it is sympathetic and interesting, while the Stark sister who is competent at it is boring and conventional and obviously not deserving of a PoV (until later books, when her attention gets turned to higher matters); further into the book, of course, the pro-needlework sister proves to be weak-willed and naïve.

Rozsika Parker, in the groundbreaking 1996 work The Subversive Stitch, noted that “embroidery has become indelibly associated with stereotypes of femininity,” which is the core of the issue. "Instead embroidery and a stereotype of femininity have become collapsed into one another, characterised as mindless, decorative and delicate; like the icing on the cake, good to look at, adding taste and status, but devoid of significant content.” 

Parker also points out that the stereotype isn’t just one that was invented in the present day by feminists who hated the idea of being forced to do a certain craft. “The association between women and embroidery, craft and femininity, has meant that writers concerned with the status of women have often turned their attention towards this tangled, puzzling relationship. Feminists who have scorned embroidery tend to blame it for whatever constraint on women's lives they are committed to combat. Thus, for example, eighteenth-century critical commentators held embroidery responsible for the ill health which was claimed as evidence of women's natural weakness and inferiority.”

There are two basic problems I have with the trope, beyond the issue of it being incredibly cliché:

First: needlework was not just busywork

A big part of what drives the stereotype is the impression that what women were embroidering was either a sampler:

sampler embroidered by Jane Wilson, 14, in 1791 (MMA 2010.47)

or a picture:

unfinished embroidery of David and Abigail, British, 1640s-50s (MMA 64.101.1325)

That is, something meant to hang on the wall for no real purpose.

These are forms of schoolwork, basically. Samplers were made by young girls up to their early teens, and needlework pictures were usually something done while at school or under a governess as a showpiece of what was being learned - not just the stitching itself, but also often watercolors (which could be worked into the design), artistic sensibility, and the literature, history, or art that might be alluded to. And many needlework pictures made in schools were also done as mourning pieces, sometimes blank, for future use, and sometimes to commemorate a recent death in the family. A lot of them are awkward, clearly just done to pass the class, but others are really artwork.

Many schools for middle- and upper-class girls taught the making of these objects (and other “ornamental” subjects) alongside a more rigorous curriculum - geography, Latin, chemistry, etc. At some, sewing was also always accompanied by serious reading and discussion. (And it would often be done while someone read aloud or made conversation later in life, too.)

Once done with their education, women generally didn’t bother with purely decorative work. Some things that fabric could be embroidered for included:

Jackets 

Bed coverings and bedcurtains

Collars and undersleeves 

Pelerines 

Neck handkerchiefs and sleeve ruffles 

Screens

Upholstery

Handkerchiefs

Purses, wallets, and reticules

Boxes

Book covers

Plus other articles of clothing like waistcoats, caps, slippers, gown hems, chemises, etc. Women’s magazines of the nineteenth century often gave patterns and alphabets for personal use.

(Not to mention late nineteenth century female artists who worked in embroidery, but that’s something else.)

You could purchase all of these pre-embroidered, but many, many women chose to do it themselves. There are a number of reasons why: maybe they wanted something to do, maybe they felt like they should be doing needlework for moral/gender reasons, maybe they couldn’t afford to buy anything - and maybe they enjoyed it or wanted to give something they made to a person they loved. That firescreen above was embroidered by Marie Antoinette, someone who had any number of other activities to choose from. It’s no different than people today who like to knit their own hats and gloves or bake their own bread, except that it was way more mainstream.

embroidery patterns from Ackermann’s Repository in 1827 - they could be used on dresses, collars, handkerchiefs, etc.

Second: needlework wasn’t the only “useless” thing women were expected to do

Ignoring the bulk of point one for now and the value of embroidery - I mentioned “ornamental subjects” above. As many people know, young women of the upper and middle classes were expected to be “accomplished” in order to be seen as marriageable. This could include skills like embroidery, drawing, painting, singing, playing the piano (as well as other instruments, like the harp or the mandolin), speaking French (if not also Italian and/or German), as well as broader knowledge and abilities like being well-versed in music, literature, and poetry, dancing and walking gracefully, writing good letters in an elegant hand, and being able to read out loud expressively and smoothly.

This wasn’t a checklist. As the famous discussion in Pride and Prejudice shows, individuals could have different views on what actually made a woman accomplished:

“How I long to see her again! I never met with anybody who delighted me so much. Such a countenance, such manners! And so extremely accomplished for her age! Her performance on the pianoforte is exquisite.”

“It is amazing to me,” said Bingley, “how young ladies can have patience to be so very accomplished as they all are.”

“All young ladies accomplished! My dear Charles, what do you mean?”

“Yes, all of them, I think. They all paint tables, cover screens, and net purses. I scarcely know anyone who cannot do all this, and I am sure I never heard a young lady spoken of for the first time, without being informed that she was very accomplished.”

“Your list of the common extent of accomplishments,” said Darcy, “has too much truth. The word is applied to many a woman who deserves it no otherwise than by netting a purse or covering a screen. But I am very far from agreeing with you in your estimation of ladies in general. I cannot boast of knowing more than half-a-dozen, in the whole range of my acquaintance, that are really accomplished.”

“Nor I, I am sure,” said Miss Bingley.

“Then,” observed Elizabeth, “you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished woman.”

“Yes, I do comprehend a great deal in it.”

“Oh! certainly,” cried his faithful assistant, “no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half-deserved.”

“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

Mr. Bingley feels that a woman is accomplished if she has the ability to do a number of different arts and crafts. Miss Bingley feels (or says she feels) that it goes beyond specific skills and into branches of artistic attainment, plus broader personal qualities that could be imparted by well-bred governesses or mothers. And Mr. Darcy, of course, agrees with that but adds an academic angle as well.

But what ties all of these accomplishments together is their lack of value on the labor market. A woman could earn a living with any one accomplishment, if she worked hard enough at it to become a professional, but young ladies weren’t supposed to be professional-level good because they by definition weren’t going to earn a living. All together, they trained a woman for the social and domestic role of a married woman of the upper middle or upper class, or, if she couldn’t get married, a governess or teacher who would share her accomplishments with the next generation.

(To be fair, almost none of the trappings of an upper-middle/upper class male education had anything to do with the kind of career training that college frequently is today, either. Men were educated to know the cultural touchpoints of their class and fit in with their peers.)

There are reasons that an individual person/character might specifically object to embroidery, but it was far from the only “useless” thing that an unconventional heroine would be required to do against her inclination by her conventional mother/grandmother/aunt/chaperone. Embroidery stands out to modern audiences because most of the other accomplishments are now valued as gender-neutral arts and skills.

“The Embroidery Frame”, by Mathilde Weil, ca. 1900 (LOC 98501309)

So, some thoughts for writers of historical fiction (or fantasy that’s supposed to be just like the 19th/18th/17th/etc century):

- If your heroine doesn’t like embroidery, she probably doesn’t like a number of other things she’s expected to do. Don’t pull out embroidery as either more expected or more onerous than them. Does she hate to sit still? I’d imagine she also dislikes drawing and practicing the piano. Would she prefer to do academic subjects? She probably also resents learning French instead of Latin, and music and dancing. Does she hate enforced femininity? Then she’d most likely have a problem with all of the accomplishments.

- If your heroine just and specifically doesn’t like embroidery, try to show in the narrative that that’s not because it’s objectively bad, and only able to be liked by the boring. Have another sympathetic character do it while talking to the heroine. Note that the hero carries a flame-stitched wallet that’s his sister’s work. Emphasize the heroine’s emotional connection to her deceased or absent mother through her affection for clothing or upholstery that her mother embroidered - or through a mourning picture commemorating her. There are all kinds of things you can do to show that it’s a personal preference rather than a stupid craft that doesn’t take talent and skill!

mourning picture for Daniel Goodman, probably embroidered by a Miss Goodman, 1803 (MMA 56.66)

[hishoukoku]

I wanna talk about a few pet peeves with CQL's divergence versus the novel, on the events surrounding Wei Wuxian

Disclaimer: I am perfectly aware none of the things I state below couldn't happen in a live action environment and I'm not blaming them since they had to change these elements.

I'd like to preface that I started learning this story with CQL and at the time I fell in love with it and I still like a LOT of things about it. But then as I've read the novel and watched the donghua I've slowly realized how monumentally more incredible the original story is and how frustrating some parts of CQL became for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

1) Wei Wuxian's death

One of my biggest issues with CQL's adaptation, which isn't even direct censorship, it was their own decision to adapt it this way, due to all the other alterations that were made to Wei Wuxian's character (which in turn are due to censorship)

In CQL Wei Wuxian's death is a suicide during the Nightless City events, as we see him being brutally affected and tormented by the events that occured, feeling utterly helpless and unable to discern any other course of action. So, in his desperation, he is shown throwing the Yin Tiger Seal, the most powerful artifact in existence, at the fucking power hungry mass of culitvators to literally fight over, after which he lets himself fall down from the cliff willingly.

This is momumentally diferent than the novel where he was never portrayed as suicidal. He always strives onwards through his sheer amount of will-power and strength.

So I would've loved to see the events unfold as in the novel, where he strives to survive and he only dies, months after the Nightless City incident, during the first siege, where his main focus was destroying the YTS as he realizes it's something even he himself, its inventor, cannot control and it musn't fall into the wrong hands. (as seen in the Chang Sect's massacre)

While trying to destroy the Amulet, it causes a wave of resentful energy and he is either desintegrated or torn apart by the fierce corpses surrounding him.

So it is absurd that in CQL he chose to let those people fight over the YTS, instead of him atempting to destroy it. But he is presented as sort of defeatist and nihilistic in CQL, which prompts him to resort to doing something so harmful and absurd.

Him being a just a victim of so many "bad" scenarios in CQL shows a very downplayed very weakened and mellowed down version of his original character, who is easily unable to cope, due to having stripped away his infailible integrity, will-power and ability to discern his own hubris.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

2) Wei Wuxian actually inventing demonic cultivation like in the novel

Not gonna lie this was my utmost biggest shock regarding their changes, because I knew even before watching that WWX is the grandaddy of demonic cultivation and I was ready to support and simp over him using this path he forged for himself.

Not in CQL tho :D

Wei Wuxian still uses demonic cultivation in CQL, calling it crafty tricks (?) and all his inventions are there, including of course the YTS, but imagine if we were to actually see CQL!WWX invent demonic cultivation and use his wide array of demonic cultivation spells as he should've after he strived so hard to forge a path of his own.

So, in CQL, him using some demonic cultivation is prefaced by the entire Yi Iron arc and the hunt for Yi Iron pieces, which takes a vast majority of the CQL flashbacks. This isn’t present and it isn't needed in the novel. The Yi Iron is only crucial in CQL because it practically explains the already existent and yet unpracticed demonic cultivation that Wei Wuxian happend to mess around with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

3) To emphasize more on this, a big part of Wei Wuxian's morality is altered in CQL.

I am absolutely in love with how his morality is portrayed in the novel, literally every single aspect of his judgement and morality appeals to me so much, and I am in love with everything he is, it's fucking unreal. He is incredibly self-aware and more realistic and human, because he knows exactly where his stands and doesn't shy away from using any means to accomplish his goals and no matter how he is perceived as, all of his decisions are rooted in and filtered through his own personal sense of justice and selflessness. He’s also aware of his mistakes and assumes responsibility. He’s very absolute about the decisions he sticks to and they are all extremely intelligent and calculated.

He knows his own hubris is the reason for his downfall.

Just gonna add that the morality of MXTX's protagonists is so fucking delicious to me and sooo very rare to see.

But, in CQL most of his actions are invalidated and presented as a victim of circumstance or through others' interference (like the pointless sound of a second flute to absolve him of his guilt) for the sake of being more: good™ xD. In CQL he’s also shown to be in wrong place at the wrong time type of situations, which is highly downgrading what the original intent behind his character was and what he fought for with his own flesh and blood.

His actions are his own in the novel and extremely valid and he assumes every single one of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

4) The necromancy - which is non-existent in CQL

This is another one of my biggest gripes, the fact that all the reanimated fierce corpses were replaced by..uhm puppets xD

Even Wen Ning isn't a fierce corpse as he was in the novel, because CQL prefaced how he was never dead to begin with so technically he was just, uhm very slowly healed by WWX xD.

This isn't just a harmless change, because it causes the biggest plotline of the book (unconvering Nie Mingjue's death) to be severly altered.

This also caused the Guanyin city events to be altered significantly, with Wen Ning weilding Baxia and being posesed by said saber spirit. Because remember? reanimation isn't a thing xD so Wen Ning could not have fought Nie Mingjue's reanimated corpse.

(while we're at Guanyin temple, how fucking amazing would it be if WangXian's confession scene also happened xD)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And there are a few more minor things.

So I can't help but think...

With these few points that I made above, I cannot help but imagine how fucking cool that would be if CQL followed the novel plotline?

And I know, just as my wishful thinking, if CQL had followed all the main ideas in the novel it would really be a masterpiece, because the actors chosen already would nail the novel roles flawlessly, literally cast-wise everyone is perfect!

~thanks for reading~

[godneysbaldhead]

I Lost a Dear Friend.

Two days ago, I decided that I deserved more than to be ignored by a “friend”. That I shouldn’t have to beg someone to hang out with me, and that we just weren’t compatible as friends. I deserved more than I was getting. A friendship cannot thrive if you do not communicate. I was not faultless AT ALL. Like I said, we weren’t compatible.. I wished them well, and after posting something on social media that they both assumed was about them (it wasn’t) one of them posted a status about me where their family decided to make homophobic remarks, make up blatant lies about me, and even came clean about my so called “friend” taking pictures of my home that I PAID her to clean, that she then went around and showed to her family and made fun of me. I was in a deep depression, and I couldn’t bring myself to clean. It was 4 months after a failed suicide attempt, and I still wasn’t fully out of it. I paid this “friend” 400$ to clean my 900 sq ft apartment. I over paid her because I knew at the time, that she wasn’t working and needed the money. We decided on a day I would pay her and she was paid a week after the settled upon date because I was in the hospital with megalocardia (an enlarged heart). I got shit for that too, because I couldn’t get them the money while I was admitted in the hospital. Their justification? “My phone bill is due”. This friendship ended because I had discussed with my friend that when she ignores my messages for days on end, it triggers my anxiety because I think I did something wrong. I made a status on Facebook stating that “being ignored is my biggest pet peeve because my anxiety goes crazy”.

That status was enough to get her to finally message me back after nine messages and one and a half days later, just to tell me how mad she was that I said that. I told her that we had talked so much about it before and the mental effect it has on me, and we both apologized and that same night she went right back to it. This time making sure to read every message I sent, and just not replying. The next day is when all of that happened. I found out the person I trusted, confided in, and felt like I could be myself 10000% with was telling lies behind my back, and sharing pictures of my home that showed me at my most vulnerable. I found out that I was actually being judged by someone who promised to never judge me. I was the one person in her life that tried to push her to be better, and was there a million percent. Yet, she called me an abuser because I asked to not be ignored. I was called toxic because I tried to tell her that I deserved to know if she was going to stand up the plans we made a week in advance. I was called manipulative because I thought I deserved what any human deserves, and that is respect. Her sister was messaging people RANDOMLY on my Facebook friends list that she knew I was close with, literally telling them how I am “manipulative” and “toxic” and that she just wanted to let them know, and that they didn’t do anything wrong at all. All unprovoked. I got 9 messages from people telling me that she randomly messaged them out of no where. Their responses were all the same “yes, because that makes you look so innocent. Randomly messaging people trying to convince them that someone else is the toxic one.” In all of this there were three very hard things that I had to accept. One, this person I trusted to come into my home at my most vulnerable, snuck pictures behind my back maliciously to show people. Two, these are not the people I thought I knew for ten plus years. Three, all that matters to these people is how they look to their social media friends. She lied to her family and told them it took me 6 months to pay her for my apartment. Never happened. She told people I would belittle and berate her. Never happened. She told people I took advantage of her. Never happened. How can you take advantage of someone who has nothing? I paid for every meal we had when she would come over. I would give her whatever she needed, IE laptop for school. She wanted a smart watch, I gave her one. She needed a new phone, I gave her my old pixel.

Out of all of this, how am I the one who took advantage, belittled, or whatever else? At the beginning of this I said I was not without fault. I stand by that. When she would tell me she was busy dealing with something I would ask her “is everything okay?” Or I would get concerned instead of leaving her alone. I am wrong in that. It all came from a place of concern though. I worried about my friend who struggled with the same demons I did. I worried about my friend who also struggles with suicidal thoughts, and who lives in a very toxic home environment (her words). The friendship ending was both of our faults, but during the process I learned what a monster this “friend” actually was. Cold, calculated, and wicked. Taking snapshots of my vulnerability, and dragging the one person who pushed her to be the person she wanted to be through the dirt to anyone who would listen.

My lesson is learned, and I will never allow this to happen to me again. I was the part of the reason the friendship ended, she was the wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Before anyone says anything, this friend knows I am diagnosed DID, PTSD, Severe manic depressive, and have childhood trauma. This wasn’t a simple “please respect my anxiety” she knew what she was doing was playing into these ailments, and she just didn’t care.

[okayshin]

ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴɴᴏɴs

✉ how they choose their darling 

⤹ yandere!au

⤹ pretty boy setter edition 

⤹ ft. akaashi, kageyama, kenma, oikawa, sugawara

⤹ tw. manipulation, fwb mention, typical yan things

═══ ᴀᴋᴀᴀsʜɪ ᴋᴇɪᴊɪ 

▹    akaashi notices everything you do

▹    no matter how small, he sees it. takes notes. studies it and you

▹    you would’ve became friends with him in high school, introduced by the elated bokuto who “wants all of his friends to be friends” 

▹    you’re dedicated and he likes that about you 

▹    always attending every game, even if you mention previously that you might not be able to make it because a, b, or c. 

▹    and bokuto lives for you being there. if akaashi didn’t know any better, he’d think bokuto had a crush on you 

▹    akaashi is self-aware, to an extent. 

▹    yes, he knows he shouldn’t be getting a bubble of anger in his chest when he sees you hug sweaty bokuto first after a game

▹    but he brushes it off as jealousy. nothing more, nothing less

    ══

They got the last touch. They were the victors of yet another game, and they would be the ones going to the finals. 

They are the stars of the world. 

So why does he feel a pang in his chest when you come down from the bleachers and go straight for Bokuto? 

All excitement burns down to something less, the remains of a match brought to nothing more than charcoal and smoke while he watches his best friend swing you around in a hug. 

“Did you see us?” he asks excitedly after setting you down, grin ever present on his features. You can only nod, just as happy as the man in front of you. You pull him into another, less frantic, hug, then turn when Bokuto addresses Akaashi as he approaches. 

“We did it, Akaashi!” 

“We did.” 

As upset as Akaashi wants to be, Bokuto’s exhilaration is infectious. A smile makes its way on Akaashi’s face without him realizing, only to grow when you open your arms to him and give an excited squeal. 

Whatever jealousy his mind made stems down to nothing more than ash, blown away the moment your arms wrap around his neck. 

And suddenly, everything is okay again. 

═══ ᴋᴀɢᴇʏᴀᴍᴀ ᴛᴏʙɪᴏ 

▹    kags isn’t the type to get into a relationship ok

▹    however, i do see him as the type to become fwb with someone

▹    it’s not something that happens instantly ofc. it takes a lot of time and talking about boundaries and rules, but you get there eventually

▹    and you’d absolutely adore kags 

▹    he knows it, too 

▹    kageyama lives off of whatever attention you present him with

▹    but he sees no point in reciprocating anything 

▹    give him an inch and he takes a mile 

▹    he won’t acknowledge if you do anything that’s more romantic than fwb 

▹    bring him a bento box for lunch “just ‘cause you felt like it?”? don’t make a habit of it, or he’ll start to expect them, without giving back anything in return 

    ══

The blank look on his face should’ve told it all, honestly. 

But, you’re no quitter! And in your defense, he was the one who told you yesterday how good your lunch looked. 

Kageyama only stared as you presented him with a neatly wrapped bento box, processing what this could imply further down the line. Regardless, he takes the food and unwraps the cloth. It’s the exact thing you brought the day before, and despite your friends’ protests of ‘not getting too attached to someone like him’, you’ve taken it upon yourself to do something nice for him. 

It is one lunch, after all. Maybe a second if he doesn’t cancel your ‘study session’ planned later on in the week. 

“Thank you for yesterday,” you say nonchalantly, as if he didn’t blow out your back in the bathroom stalls with the only reasoning being ‘because Hinata pissed him off’ and he needed to do something with his pent up aggression, “I had a good time.” 

He doesn’t reply, but you don’t expect him to; instead relishing in the fact that the tips of his ears burn. That doesn’t stop a smirk from forming on his face, though.

═══ ᴋᴇɴᴍᴀ ᴋᴏᴢᴜᴍᴇ 

▹    kenma is one of the most analytical out of the five

▹    he can easily pick up on the things you do

▹    your pet peeves, your tics, your habits, all of it

▹    and he can just as easily use them against you 

▹    is the best at making it seem unintentional

▹    what do you mean you don’t want to watch his game? you promised you would, even though he sort of pressured you to in the middle of a gaming sesh but it’s not fair to just,,, tell him you have other plans!

▹    it’s kinda rude to just get his hopes up and then let him down, isn’t it? 

▹    probably the most self-aware out of everyone, but he really doesn’t care. people usually look over him because of how unassuming he is, so why would him taking interest in you be noticed either? 

    ══

Your agitation was tangible. He could make out your form under a blanket from the video call you were on, pitiful and tired, but that doesn’t stop the slight frown from crossing his features. 

“You promised you’d come watch me and Kuroo play tomorrow, though.” A pinky promise, at that, but he wouldn’t bring up the facts. 

You pout, shoulders dropping with a sniffle, “That was before my parents told me about their anniversary dinner, Kenma.” 

“I really wanted you to meet my friend from Karasuno. I think you’d really like him.” He toys with the string of his hoodie, looking away from the screen for just a moment. He hears you huff out a sigh, screen going black for a moment. 

Video Paused. 

“I’ll talk to them about it, see if I can make it up to them somehow.” Another sigh, followed by some tapping on the screen that Kenma can only assume is you typing. 

“If you can’t, it’s okay. No need to worry about it.” Kenma says dismissively, despite knowing you and your tells; the tone of your voice breaking way into confirmation that you’ve given in to his less-than-pushy demand. 

“Too late,” your screen comes back on, some shuffling and replacing your phone propped against a pillow, “already texted them. What kind of snacks should I bring?” 

“Whatever can get you through the match.” He smiles, a genuine, sweet smile only reserved for those he cares about. 

═══ ᴏɪᴋᴀᴡᴀ ᴛᴏᴏʀᴜ

▹    oikawa is manipulative for starters 

▹    to his peers, his friends, his teachers, his fangirls, to everyone

▹    he’s good at adapting to less-than favorable situations and will do whatever it takes to get his way

▹    the definition of a brat

▹    he’s not above using people for how own advantage, either 

▹    you don’t want to go out with him? that’s perfectly fine! just don’t come crying to him when you get hundreds of hate mail from his fangirls that he oh so dramatically confided in

▹    is not afraid to make you out to be the bad guy at all 

▹    honestly doesn’t care if you really like him or not. even if you say you don’t, he just believes you’re lying. he’s the great king, after all. who wouldn’t like him

    ══

This was the fifth letter you’d found in your locker since school started. No, scratch that- the first two were slipped into your backpack, along with some of your items being stolen by whatever crazed fangirl deemed it necessary to make your day worse than what it already was. 

It doesn’t take an idiot to know what you did wrong to be in this situation. You’d denied Oikawa Tooru, your school's golden boy, telling him you’d rather study than watch him practice volleyball and get dinner after. If you’d known this would be the backlash, you would’ve thought twice about turning him down. 

Someone clicks their tongue behind you, causing you to jump and whirl around. The man at fault stands looking over your shoulder, hands on his hips with a pout on his face. 

“That doesn’t look like a confession letter- unless the broken heart means you’ve already denied them before they had a chance?” 

The suggestion makes you more than agitated- he knows what the letter is. Hell, he probably gave them pointers on what to write! You slam your locker closed with one hand and crumble the letter with the other.

“Is there something I can help you with, Oikawa?”

His name tastes like venom on your tongue, yet it doesn’t make him falter, pout turning to a grin, “There is actually. I’m sure you’ve heard we’re up against The Iron Wall- and I was just double checking that my potential number one supporter would be there?” 

You open your mouth to snap out a reply, but you can feel the glares from your peers; girls and boys alike whispering to each other- stirring a pot they know nothing about. 

So, you bite your tongue. Grit your teeth and deal. It’s just one game, after all- what’s the harm in missing a few hours of a study session? 

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” 

“Great!” His smile grows tenfold, reaching up and pinching your cheek endearingly, “I’ll be sure to let everyone know just how sweet you really are.” 

You don’t miss the mischievous glint in his eyes; the way he moves away from you so confidently telling you more than enough. He knows the game and he’s playing it well. 

═══ sᴜɢᴀᴡᴀʀᴀ ᴋᴏᴜsʜɪ

▹    the sweetest boy on god

▹    just cannot place his feelings! 

▹    does he like you? like like you? want to be friends? more than friends? take you away from anything and everything that could ever hurt you? 

▹    falls back more into the last category, and can only assume it means he likes you

▹    he’s probably the least dangerous to have after you 

▹    suga doesn’t want to do anything that would ruin your relationship, or the potential for any future relationships

▹    this makes him the best friend you could ever ask for, honestly 

▹    will walk you home if you ask (as long as you can stand to wait until after practice) 

▹    takes you out for lunch or dinner or study sessions at the local cafe on the weekend and refuses to let you pay for anything

▹    snacks, drinks, and meals are all on him and he doesn’t complain at all

▹    generally doesn’t ask for anything but your friendship in return

▹    but if you give him a hug or hold onto his arm and let him imagine you’re more than something you aren’t then that’s the best payment

    ══

“You’ve gotta let me pay for something, Suga,” you whine, trying to push some cash into the center of the table only for the man to push it back towards you and pass his card directly to the waiter instead. 

“Nope, I invited you out so therefore I pay.” 

“By that logic, if I invite you out next weekend then I’ll pay?” You grumble, stuffing the money back into your wallet. “Sounds fair to me.” 

“No,” he disagrees again, looking up when the waiter brings back his card and a paper to sign, “I’ll just say no to hanging out- therefore you have no reason to pay.” 

“That’s just mean, Suga.” You whine again, “What if I say no to your hangout session, then?” 

“You can’t say no to me.” He smiles an award winning smile, thanking the waiter, then standing and waiting for you to pull on your jacket before you step outside. “It’s not allowed.” 

“‘Not allowed’?” You repeat with a scoff, scrunching your nose at how chilly the temperature outside is compared to the warmth inside the building, “So you can say no to me, but I can’t you? Isn’t that a double-standard and make you a hypocrite?” 

“Maybe,” he shrugs, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets, “but it doesn’t change the fact that I simply will not be letting you pay for anything.” 

You puff out your cheeks in protest, but it’s gone just as quickly as it appeared and is replaced with a grin. Patting Sugawara on the arm a couple of times before your arm wraps itself around his own while you pull him closer to your favorite spot. The dog park. 

Sugawara always plans for this; taking you past the park so you can see all the pets running around. Your reaction is always the same- hitting him a few times to get his attention, then, wrapping your arm around his so he doesn’t stray far, and won’t leave his until he drops you off at him. It’s routine, at this point. Your warmth seeps through his jacket, and it’s all the payment he needs.

[whatwouldvalerydo]

3, 11, 21 and 23 for Leila please! - that-scouse-wizard

How can I say no to you @that-scouse-wizard :)

3. How easy to annoy is your oc? Do they have common pet-peeves or are they stoic in response to everything? What is their reaction if the source doesn’t stop?

She is rather easy to annoy, however she doesn't always snap, instead she tries to keep it in check. Try to say something about someone she cares and you might not like her too much then.

She will give a warning, but if someone takes it too far she has no problem using force in order to intimidate.

Mild annoyance she can take fairly well due to living in a chaotic family environment.

11. How competitive is your oc? Is every little task something that they can win, or are they just in competitions for the fun of it? Is there anyone they’re most competitive with?

Let's take Quidditch for example.

She didn't join it for the competition, but as a mean to let some anger out. It's fun on the long run for her, especially if she goes against Reuben because there is where she truly shines, their small banters being her highlight.

In academics, she does try to excel and learn more and be better than the rest.

21. What is your oc’s stamina like? Would they be able to run a marathon, or not run at all? What about walking/another physical activity? How are they with exercise in general?

Well, we are speaking about a half demon lady with more strength than your average human, that had been training since little to be a hit witch and was taught to endure a lot. She doesn't tire out as fast as a normal human would since she is quite resilient.

She can also go for a few days without water and food, not just a couple.

She does however need to be careful as she can get sick like any human would, colds were very common when she was little.

23. What is the most annoying sound to your oc? What’s the most pleasant? Is there any reason?

Most annoying thing for Leila is the sound of a metal file. Her mother filed down her and her sister's fangs when they were smaller and that sound stuck to her brain immediately. She also cannot stand the sound of knives being polished either.

Favorite sound would actually be the sound of heartbeats. She finds it very relaxing.

[horrorhot-line]

Do you have any writing tips Coz i rlly like your writing ❤😭

This one took a while to answer because of how much I had to say. (Please keep in mind that I am in no way telling you to follow these tips, take whatever you think will work for you and discard what doesn't, okay?)

Alright, first things first, I've been writing on and off for the past seven years, and I can say for a fact that I've definitely improved since my first fic (which was on paper, we don't talk about it). The following tips are what works for me, and what I believe has helped me become better at writing. 

Remember, fanfiction is supposed to be self-indulgent, and therefore you are entitled to write whatever you like because it's your work, so you don’t have to follow any of these tips if you don’t feel like it.

Proofreading, making sense & grammar

Grammar and punctuation make a huge difference. You could have an amazing story, but bad grammar can make that piece of work flop. Stories are supposed to be immersive, but if there are too many mistakes or the words don't make sense, it can ruin it for a reader. (I don't mean your garden variety missing letters, I mean something like 'an he and her goes and u were like oh no'.) I can't name the amount of time I've started to read something online and ditched it because the grammar irks me (your instead of you're, their instead of they're and so on). I've seen a lot of fanfiction writers also switch between past tense, present tense and future tense in the same paragraph, which makes it hard to understand what's happening. 

If you're trying to post and have it get attention, please do check your work to make sure it makes sense. Write down everything first, don't correct anything, and once you're done writing the scene, go back to proofread the whole thing. Get someone to read it for you and point out mistakes or things that don't make sense, if you can. 

If you can't, then there are alternatives. There's 'text to speech', where you can copy and paste what you've written down onto a website, and it will read the text out loud to you. It works the best (for me anyway). There's also grammarly, which is kind of similar to google docs except it points out all the mistakes you may have in your work. (Bear in mind a few mistakes don't matter, but if there's too many then it's likely that your post or blog won't get much attention.) This tip helps you to get a lot of likes on your writing.

Research

If you're writing fanfiction, please study the character(s). My biggest pet peeve when I read fanfiction, is that the love interest is out of character. Whether it be the way they talk or the way they act, if it isn't close to canon, I cannot read it.

So, if you're trying to gain traction and have your work get a lot of positive feedback or likes, then it's best to do research. Most fictional characters have wiki pages where their personalities, relationships and life stories are listed, so why not make the most of it? It's all there for the taking. When writing for a character, rewatch the show/movie to get a good grasp of their personality and then begin to write. The more canon your writing is, the more people will enjoy it.

Reader Inserts

Ever come across an x reader where there's way too much description about their appearance? (Specified hair colour, hair length, named family members etc.) I once read a reader insert where the author described the reader as someone who had pale skin, blue eyes and blonde hair... I was like, huh? That's not what I look like :') 

When you specify or go into details about 'reader's' appearance, it will most likely ruin the mental image your readers have in their heads already. I feel like when one tries to write a story or oneshot with a reader, they should be as vague as possible. There's no need to specify the height, or the reader's dream job or names of family members, or outfit choice- that's up to the people that are reading your stuff to work out. Leave it to their imagination. (This doesn't apply to requests made by others for specific character traits or appearances.)

Write believable characters

If your work has a reader insert or original characters, please make them believable. You don't want to write characters that are 2D and have little to no depth. Please don't make them perfect, that takes the fun out of things and makes your character somewhat boring. You don’t want to write a character that your readers find it hard to care about, so even if you were to kill them, the readers wouldn’t care. 

Make them real, with real problems and a factor of relatability. Heck, give them toxic/bad personality traits while you're at it. Easily irritable, overly sensitive, cynical, selfish, manipulative, people pleaser- the list is endless (we all have our flaws, no?). Contrary to what others may believe, this will make your character easy to relate to or understand, and more people will like your work that way. (this links to my next tip btw)

Mary Sues

I've seen this a lot in the fanfiction community, and oh god, does it make me cringe (this is because of personal preference, though). Mary sues, if you aren't aware, are perfect characters that have no faults. They don't make mistakes, and everyone loves them even if they do nothing. They are basically the perfect hero/heroine, and that makes them boring. My biggest pet peeves are mary sues in fanfiction author's works, (but, this is because I can't stand perfect and over-powered characters that everyone seems to fall for at first sight). 

Fair enough if the entire story is self-indulgent, I'm not here to bash others over personal preferences (this is just how I feel on the matter), but that also means that you take the risk of your work flopping for that sole reason. Your work might not get any traction or positive feedback because it is overly indulgent. 

Don't make your original character or reader insert a mary sue. Throw hurdles and hardships at them, let them make huge mistakes and learn from them, let them mature. Let them have flaws, let them win over the love interest slowly, instead of having the two fall in love instantly. 

Use the right inspiration for romantic relationships

Please for the love of god do not use toxic relationships as your inspiration for the romance you write into your story. 'After' by Anna Todd comes to mind first, as it is a good example of a romance written horribly. If you don't know already, then it's a Harry Styles wattpad fanfiction that got popular and was published, with two movie adaptations out already, (with more on the way)- the classic good girl falls for bad boy cliche. 

So, what's so wrong with 'After'? For one, the male interest is toxic as hell. Anger management issues, substance abuse, trash personality, the list goes on. What does the female interest to about it? Absolutely nothing. She lets him walk all over her and forgives him for it every time. 

Please don't use stories like this as a basis for what the romance in your work is like. Relationships where one abuses the other, whether it be mentally, physically or verbally are wrong and shouldn't be glorified nor romanticised. Relationships are supposed to be healthy, and shouldn't tear the people in it, apart. Use the right inspiration, there's plenty out there.

Writing chemistry between characters

For me, I use inspiration where ever I can find it. Movies, animes, books, real life, you name it. Observe the different types of media around you. How do friends interact with each other? How is it different from childhood friends and family friends? How is it different to lovers? I watch Netflix shows/movies in my free time, mostly romance- and yes, it is for research purposes. From there, I take a particular interaction or scene and get to thinking. If the characters from my works were in that situation, how would they react? 

Ever watched a movie or a show and thought to yourself, 'Wow, the interactions are so awkward'? That's mostly because the script is forced, and that's the last thing you want to write like. Chemistry, whether it be platonic or romantic, should be natural. The best way for you to do this is by thinking about how characters would interact and letting it come naturally to you.

Don't rush it

You have all the time in the world to write chemistry between characters. Why rush it? Slow burns hit the hardest and a lot of people like them. What I mean to say is, please for the love of god, don't let the characters in your work meet and then immediately fall in love. 

The countless amount of times I've sighed in frustration because I've decided to read a story and the first chapter they meet, the second they're already a thing and the third they get married? (This is an exaggeration, but you know what I mean.) What? Why? The time between realising feelings and officially dating should at least take a month, so write with that in mind. (This tip doesn't apply to one-shots.)

Narration

I’ve seen authors skip out on explaining where the story takes place and give the bare minimum when it comes to details, and have realised that it makes it very hard for the reader to understand what’s happening. When there’s barely any context, the story is no longer immersive and is less enjoyable.

Focus on describing the settings. There should be more description than dialogue. The weather, the surrounding, if there are people near or not, smells, sounds, etc. This will help the reader visualise what's happening, and will make it more enjoyable all around. The surroundings should be included in your story to make it more interesting and to keep the reader hooked. I've seen authors do this in their fanfiction and my god, when it's done right, it is so beautiful.

The first paragraph

This is a tip I've only recently started to use. You should always start the first paragraph off with something interesting. It's gotta be eye-catching. This makes sure that the reader doesn't click off of your work before you get to the good bits. There are a lot of writers who start their stories off with the classic 'I woke up in the morning to the alarm clock sounding,' and it is the absolute worst because it's the most overused cliche I've ever seen. 

Reading about someone waking up isn't interesting unless it's important to the story. For example, you can start off with a character waking up, if they're sick, 'I jolted awake only to immediately groan at the headache I was hit with. I moved to massage the bridge of my nose, to ease my pain, somewhat. It was then that I realised I was covered in a thin layer of sweat. Breathing in through my nose, I kicked the covers off of myself in an attempt to try and cool down. Turning my head and coughing into my pillow, I wondered if it was even worth it to get up.'

Internal monologues

Internal monologues give character to the person you're writing about and also gives the reader a good idea of what they're like. They also make your story better as a whole and can prove to lengthen it a bit more. Sprinkle them in where you see fit.

For example, 'The school day dragged on. You gazed at the clock yet again- why did it feel as if the hand on it hadn't moved? You should have stayed home. What was the point of this again? You could be spending your time doing something better. You suppressed the urge to yawn as the teacher droned on about how to calculate frequencies and wavelengths.'

Read

I mean this. When you're not writing, read, and do it like it's a job. Find a good book or a fanfiction that's well written, and take note of things the author has done that you think, 'Oh! That's worded beautifully.' This will help you expand your vocabulary, provide you with inspiration and overall will improve your writing.

hope this helps 💞💞💞💞

[ashintheairlikesnow]

hi ash! i know you said before that you're not autistic you just did a lot of research to depict chris realistically- do you have any advice for finding resources on writing disabled characters that isn't like... horribly abelist? im writing someone with an intellectual disability from head trauma and who is nonverbal, and i want to get it right but everything online seems very autism-speaks-y. im autistic and semiverbal but i dont have an id and i want to be realistic and respectful.

I cannot speak with any expertise or sense of speaking from enough experience to be taken as an expert here, and defer as always to those with lived experience with intellectual disability!

But I will give a few more general tips for what to do when looking to write a character with a neurological makeup that doesn’t match your own, as far as what has worked for me with Chris:

1. The story should never be ABOUT their lived experience if you do not also have it. Chris’s story is not about autism, or being autistic. I would never presume to try and write a story like that because, whatever my intentions, I don’t have that knowledge that comes from living it. I would at BEST be taking the experiences of others, their voices. At worst, I would be someone standing with a megaphone shouting over those who deserve to be heard.

Making the disability what the plot revolves around is... generally just not going to be a good idea, in any sense. It’s moments like this where I feel like it’s best to defer to the writers who have lived it, instead. 

This is not to say “never write someone different than yourself”, because... I don’t think that’s at all good advice. I think that way lies stunted writers who never push themselves. But it does mean “do not center the story on this thing if you have not experienced it and don’t have that knowledge and understanding”.

2. At the same time, don’t try to be coy or dance around or hide the disability behind purple prose or refuse to acknowledge its reality. Trying to make a disability sound cute, or talk around it instead of speaking it out loud, can be minimizing or shaming in ways that I think it’s easy to miss, if you don’t live with that disability yourself! To me, this touches on one of my hugest pet peeves - characters who are written as having a particular neurodivergence in media, or shown on tv, but they never expressly admit to it or name it. 

I know I hesitated with Chris, more because I didn’t feel comfortable giving him a diagnosis until I understood autism better myself, and I do regret how long it took me to embrace that reality about him. I just thought it better to err on the side of researching before I embraced. But I do feel some guilt about waiting so long when I had readers who were identifying so heavily with him, and I kind of knew, but just didn’t feel comfortable owning it yet.

3. On a related note - disabilities in a story that become melodramatic tragedy or turn the disabled character into a ‘redemption story’ for an abled character. This is so, so prevalent in common media and pop culture and once you recognize it for what it is, it’s so hard to not see it in so many places. Think of how many movies, novels, etc contain a disabled character who exists to teach abled people some virtuous lesson about living life to the fullest or ‘what it really means to be human’ blah blah blah blah blah. Don’t do that. Please. (I mean, I kind of feel like you definitely won’t, but I’m just speaking very generally here). If you find the story going in a direction in which abled people learn something from the disabled person, please think very carefully and critically as to why the story is heading in that direction.

Language alone can also be a problem here - think about the difference between openly describing a character moving around their life with a wheelchair vs. calling them “wheelchair-bound” or “reliant on a cane”, when the cane or wheelchair may actually represent freedom to that person - an aid they need, yes, but one that allows them to live with far more agency than they might have had otherwise. 

To describe them, especially from their own POV, as “wheelchair-bound”, may ring false to disabled people who understand that the wheelchair isn’t a cage, but a tool that allows that individual person to feel less caged by being able to more freely leave home.  

(This varies person to person, just providing an example)

4. Educate. Research. And don’t just do so by asking people with disabilities to tell you their stories. I often express gratitude to the autistic readers, those with ADHD, etc who spoke up about Chris, talked about their own experiences, identified with him, found him very resonating for aspects of their own lives. 

These stories, this information, this sharing of their lives was given freely to me, and I’m fucking amazed and grateful for how welcomed Chris was, and how willing readers were to share about themselves when talking about him.

Their willingness to speak about these things is something I treasure. But I absolutely would never believe that a single person owed me the story of their life to make sure I got Chris right. That was my responsibility, you know? I try to keep in mind the concept of ‘emotional labor’. Asking a disabled person to be your resource is asking them to give, and give, and give of themself. They may want to give you that kind of labor, they may not. But I definitely wouldn’t ask it of anyone without understanding it was something they were happy or felt comfortable giving.

Research, on the other hand, is essential. You mentioned things being “autism speaks-y” when trying to research on your own, and oh god, do I feel you. It sucks that autism speaks is the first thing to pop up when trying to research the lives of autistic people - and in my research, I was lucky to already know AS sucks and write them off and anyone who heavily referenced them as not helpful. I can see how someone might not know that, though, and stumble on them and believe they were a helpful resource for writing autism when they... well. Nope. 

Try to think about the express disability you are writing for this person, and why, and then go research! I looked up “books on autism recommended by autistic people”, and found some invaluable books, yes, but also papers published online, websites, etc! Each of them vetted and looked over and recommended by autistic people, so I knew I was getting information that came from people with those experiences and that understanding. A good example - I picked up a book on the history of diagnosis and treatment of autism in the United States, mentioned it here, and @redwingedwhump recommended a book called Neurotribes... which turned out to be immensely more helpful, spot-on, and provided some really excellent foundational information I wouldn’t have found in the first book at all.

There’s a lot of information out there on Traumatic Brain Injuries and their lasting effects on individuals who receive them, so I would start there. What you’re describing sounds like a TBI with lasting effects! So I would start your research there, and also look up being nonverbal separately, as well as combining the two. Make sure you’re not just looking at the top links - often paid ads or problematic organizations that are able to pay more for better exposure - but also scanning for blogs, nonprofits, lived-experiences stories, too.

I found a lot of information on the second or even third page of results i would never have seen if I only stuck to the first. Remember the algorithm on search engines is usually showing you what other people are clicking on, not necessarily the best source.

5. This is one you the asker already know, but I want to include it for general reasons: do not ‘dumb down’ the thought processes of a nonverbal or semi-verbal person. I see this in fiction surprisingly often, and I think it’s this sense we have as abled people (’we’ just meaning I’m including myself) that being verbal is required to have a highly complex thought process, and it’s... it’s just fucking not. Speech and though are related but not completely wound around each other, and the ability to verbalize is not the same as the ability to think. 

Like I said, I know you know this, asker, but it’s something I see in fiction/media and it drives me up the wall. So I wanted to include it.

6. For the love of God, do not use medical terminology unless you actually know what you’re doing/talking about. Many disabled people or those with serious medical conditions become what amounts to experts on their own diagnoses, because they have to. They have to be experts to receive the care they should be able to rely on. If you constantly fuck up terminology - trust me - it will be noticed, and it will take people out of the story or hurt their ability to suspend disbelief while reading.

There are ways to do medical scenes/conversations with doctors that avoid falling into this problem! I would just be very very careful to heavily research before using any complex terminology.

7. This disabled person does not exist to evoke pity. They are a human - nuanced and multi-layered - living their life, and their story should always, always reflect that. I don’t really have anything else to add to that.

I would love to hear further advice from anyone with anything else to add.

[certifiedceraunophile]

Hello! I’m your Klaroline Swap gifter👀 I am sorry it's taken me this long to reach out but I've finally gotten to it! I am excited to be writing for you and wanted to ask a few questions about your gift. Wanted to know about your all-time favorite tropes and side pairings? Any Caroline friendships you like? Any tropes or pairings you don't like? Any pet peeves with KC fic? Any smut preferences? Anything you especially want to see or any info you'd like me to know? Hope you have a great day!💖

Heyyy!! Thank you for sending me this ask, and please don't apologize, it’s all good 💖 I hope you're having a great day too! So I’ll just jump in and answer all your questions ✌🏾✨

I am so so sorry it got this long, like so long, I really tried to condense it, but I have no concept of short and concise so now I have to put this below a cut 😭🙃😭

All time favourite tropes:

[see here's the thing I dont exactly *know* what tropes are so I'm just gonna yeet a bunch of HIGHLY specific prompt-thingies that make me tingle at you and you can do w them what you wish- like take out certain parts you want to use, or base other tropes off of them anything you wish really, even if you choose to ignore all of them I won't be holding it against you dw!]

Ok so I love love the "I was just captured by the bad guys and very harshly uh demanded to sell you out, but I didnt, bc even though I might posture like you’re the scourge of the earth and would gladly see you dead, I in fact, do not want you dead and will therefore not be selling you out and will handle mild -emphasis on mild please do not hurt either of my babies too much- torture instead and oops! look at that, you just overheard this exact exchange where I stand my ground and refuse to betray you, and now you’ve gone feral over your loyalty kink and are spouting promises of never letting go of me, which honestly I cannot bring myself to be mad at."

I love love love the forced bedsharing trope which then leads to accidental cuddling, where one party [caroline] is just very very annoyed that their body sought the warmth of a cockroach fucknugget being [klaus] and the fucknugget party is just very very smug about being the other party's personal space heater, and nuzzles them and cuddles tighter and asdfghjkl I'm getting tingly just thinking about it, and like says w a husky sleepy voice “don't move” and cuddles closer. jfc please I’m a basic bitch with very basic wants.

I absolutely LOVE the "we work on opposite enemy sides, but now we have to band together to defeat one common enemy and honestly I am NOT glad that I constantly wanna throw you against a wall, and not all reasons for said wall-throwing are strictly to inflict violence on you."

I also LOVE the "fuck youre bleeding/hurt/injured and fucking hell I dont know why my hands are shaking while I attend to your wounds but god it is, and now I'm not sure exactly how deep you've furrowed into my heart and stuck yourself there like a dickheaded leech."

Now I feel like I have given you many tropes, but I also feel like i didnt in fact help you at all, bc I'm not sure these are uh tropes?? but anyway those are some highly specific...scenes?? I have a very deep bias for

[you obviously dont HAVE to write ANY of them if you dont want to]

And also if I had to give you a clear cut trope to follow, I absolutely LOVE the enemies-to tentative allies-to lovers trope, in which one party is just working really really hard to get to the lovers part, and the other is working really really hard not to get to the lovers part, but caves later on, bc really the fucker grows on you. [Featuring Klaus as the "high key besotted already pursuing Caroline"-person, and Caroline is the "I am very very annoyed w this wooing, but I am more annoyed this wooing is working"-person. And also, I like my Klaus E V I L, But really really really *soft* for Caroline.]

Also if by tropes you meant settings, Like AU's, literally anything works, I have a personal bias for Crime AU's when it comes to enemies to lovers, and Canon is the ultimate enemies to lovers AU, but honestly you can use which ever one you want, I am not entirely sure myself if I have a specific preference here, AH, Fantasy, Supernatural, Scifi, it's all good.

[I however am not extremely fond of Historical Settings]

Again you are not required to follow any of these tropes at all if you don't wish to, I just require you to have a lot of fun writing and love the beauty you write yourself first!

Side pairings:

Ok I LOVE me some Kennett [kol + bonnie] but I also LOVEEE kolenzo [Kol and Enzo], I also am extremely just *heart eyes* at Bonenzo [Bonnie + enzo], but I absolutely DIE for Kennettzo [which is OT3 of Kol Bonnie and Enzo]

Kalijah is also a-ok w me, and I feel like I dont have any other side pairings I'd like die to see I guess. If you choose not to go with these side pairings its perfectly alright.

Caroline Friendships:

Ok this I can answer without rambling like an idiot, I love love love love :

Bonnie + Caroline [like i love this so much it physically hurts me, they both deserve so so so much better]

Kol + Caroline [I will literally touch a frog, and I have a phobia of frogs, to have one full conversation w these two idiots]

Enzo + Caroline [Honestly enzoline brotp makes me wanna sob happy tears bc they are so perfect together]

Katherine + Caroline + Rebekah [bad bitch meets head bitch meets super bitch, what could possibly go wrong]

Tropes and Pairings I dont like:

NOTPS:

Kolvina, stebekah, delena, stelena, datherine, steferine, Haylijah, Marcel+Rebekah, Matt+Rebekah, Bamon, Kai+bonnie, beremy.

And I think that's about it? mostly I just hate elena stefan damon and hayley and I am not fond of them w anyone, I hate all canon Rebekah relationships, and I dont like seeing Bonnie with anyone other than enzo or kol.

Tropes:

I am totally not fond of the Kill Liz for plot reasons trope, like seriously killing Caroline's mom is not ok w me, but I am totes fine if she's like already dead as part of Caroline's backstory, just don't show me Liz dying in the story as a part of the plot.

Any form of sire-bond-y or like sire-bond adjacent or like any form of deal/bargain/agreement that gives Klaus even a tiniest bit of power over Caroline's free will and choices, is just not for me, like at all, no matter how well it's done, I can't stand it.

not fond of any form of prisoner/hostage tropes, like klaus kidnapping caroline or caroline kidnapping klaus and holding each other hostage and stuff like that.

Death as a plot point doesnt work for me? and really I'd prefer if there were no major character deaths at all.

Friends to lovers trope is not for me, childhood friends to lovers trope is definitely not for me.

I don't like any sort of redemption arc really, anything that starts with Klaus as a “bad” dude and ends with him being a relatively “good” dude is not for me.

Any form of infidelity, like ofc especially in between Klaus and Caroline is just [shudder] hard pass, but like I also hate it when Caroline or Klaus cheat on anybody at all.

Also all the tropes and like themes I'm not comfy w that I mentioned in my original Gift Request still stand.

KC Pairing Pet peeves

ok This I can answer easily bc I have like a FEW,

I hate a woobified Klaus so much, like so much, I hate all TO!Klaus characterizations but this one is the worst, absolutely not here for it, I am not here to feel sorry for this mf I want to feel really deliriously GIDDY at how evil he is and how whipped he is for Caroline, but like concentrating on Klaus's manpain is not something I really wanna read.

Caroline excusing Klaus's bullshit, or like being a push over-y “it's ok, I understand why you did it” person is not for me, bc she never was one to begin w, she never did rationalize or justify Klaus's behaviour, she always held him accountable and told him what a difficult son of a bitch he is every chance she got.

I don't like arcs where Caroline is Klaus's redemption? like Caroline bringing Klaus into the "light" or whatever I am not here for it, like at all, I like Klaus staying evil while being endlessly in love with Caroline, and Caroline being able to be w a man she knows is a selfish evil ruthless grade A asshole, but will literally also choke himself to death for Caroline, cuz the man is whipped as fuck.

I also absolutely am not a fan of arcs where like Caroline remains "pure" or whatever, like that's just not for me, I am totally fine, actually MORE than fine for ruthless Caroline who is willing to do deplorable shit to get to her goal and protect her people, like Caroline being extremely almost evilly pragmatic just gives me a boner, and pretty sure gives Klaus one too. Klaus "protecting" Caroline's so called innocence is uh off putting for me personally. And her remaining this pure white light princess of good and Klaus being attracted to the *good* in her is um, nope.

Smutty Preferences

Honestly I’m very easy when it comes to smut [and u totally dont have to write me any if you dont want to]

I do not like:

non con/dub con, anal sex, Strict and/or elaborate Bdsm themes, [light undertones are ok], drunk sex, sex that’s basically infidellity [like caroline/klaus cheating on someone else w each other] , gagging, choking, Extremely rough emotionless sex, sex as a bargain, or as a part of a bargain.

Smut preferences:

I like reading oral sex, especially Klaus going down on Caroline

light bondage like being tied up [either Klaus/Caroline I enjoy both]

Sex toys are really really good, like love reading Klaus using one on Caroline, or Caroline using one on herself and Klaus watching

I do have a special love for praise kink, especially Klaus being really just in awe of Caroline during the do and expressing it uninhibitedly

Dirty Talk is GREAT

I enjoy both Klaus and Caroline in a dominant role, but I usually love it when both of them share the dominance equally, I’m just not into “Yes master” and “Yes mistress” level of dominance. I guess the word I’m looking for is Vanilla dominance lmao.

Bloodplay is also great if they're vampires.

And Klaus and Caroline leaving marks on each other is *swoon*.

I love reading possessive!klaus and possessive!caroline in equal measure so really your choice.

Hot and Dirty sex with a an undercurrent of emotion and devotion, want and need and all that nice stuff is great!

But I do have a list of words I’m not really a big fan of coming across when I’m reading smut:

Any word for vagina that’s not wetness, or folds or lips, is squicky, cunt is not a problem, pussy however is squick.

Clit is clit; little nub, bundle of nerves, all of that makes the med student in me really anxious lmao.

Any word for Cock that’s not cock is squick.

Juices, cream, semen are squicky, I just prefer come or release.

Ok these are seemingly innocent words but moist, engorged, gaping, drooling, sopping are not words I like seeing in context of smut.

So yeah that’s about it, I know hi, it’s been what, eleventy bajillion years since the beginning of this ask, I am so so so sorry for being this difficult, and really, LIKE SERIOUSLY, except for my squicks you are more than welcome to just skip past everything else, since I’m not really that hard to please, as long as the no-no’s are not there in what I read and the dynamic I asked for is even just vaguely followed I will be really really really happy and really I just want you to have fun writing whatever you feel like cooking up, I’m superrrr excited to see your interpretation of my request!!!

[Also Please please send me another ask clarifying you got my answer and also telling me I haven't frightened you with this long ass rambling list of okay’s and no-no’s bc honestly I am just anxiously debating if I should answer this ask like this or yeet half of it and vaguely rewrite the answer.]

Hope you have a great day lovely!! I am once again sorry for being this difficult. ✨💖🤝🏾

[adversitybloomed-a]

——CHARACTER  STUDY.

LAYER 001 :    THE OUTSIDE.

NAME  :     Hua Mulan

EYE   COLOUR  :      dark brown almost black.

HAIR   STYLE   /   COLOUR  :     in the main verse, mulan has long thick black straight silky hair, that falls past her lower back. It is held up either half way, or fully in a ponytail ( depending if she is on a mission or not ) by a silk ribbon that matches her outfit. it is rarely down unless she has complete trust in the person she is with. More modern verses, her hair is still long but falls to her lower back & will most likely be down, unless on business, in which it might be in a bun held up by a clip or ribbon. 

HEIGHT  :   5′2″.

CLOTHING   STYLE  :   Mulan prefers, in the main verse, to be wearing hanfu, mostly white, due to the fact that it is breathable & still gives her plenty of room to fight & hide weapons on her person. She is known to wear black, should she be on a mission or working, most likely fighting gear for stealth. She does have imperial armor, that has a golden phoenix design that she wears while in the military & or at war. In the modern verses, she will be seen wearing dresses & skirts. & while at home, she will tend to steal her lovers clothing & wear them around the house/apartment for comfort. 

BEST   PHYSICAL   FEATURE  :    her bright smile, that tends to light up her features. 

LAYER 002 :    THE  INSIDE.

FEARS  :     thanatophobia, but she does not fear for her own death, but instead of losing someone she loves. Not being strong enough to protect the people she cares for. Not being good enough. being left behind. 

GUILTY   PLEASURE  :    Going out to eat, instead of learning how to cook ( except the yakuza verse where she does enjoy cooking as a hobby ), watching a cdrama instead of focusing on her work ( it can never just be one episode... ), randomly starts singing when she thinks she’s alone.

BIGGEST   PET   PEEVE  :      being lied to, being over protected, her jealousy ( she really hates feeling that emotion ), making a mistake. having someone she loves threatened or just talking badly about someone she cares for.

AMBITIONS   FOR   THE   FUTURE  :    verse dependent. but for the most part, continue to take care of the people she loves. perhaps, ( with her SO only ) start a family & be able to slow down a little to take proper care of them. 

LAYER 003 :   THOUGHTS.

FIRST   THOUGHTS   WAKING   UP  :      depends. if she wakes up from a peaceful sleep, grateful to have rested & ready to start the day. if she wakes up from a night terror, trying to forget about everything & instead dresses to train so she can get rid of the stress.

WHAT   THEY   THINK   ABOUT   MOST  :    it depends again. if she is at work, she will try to focus in on her tasks. but for the most part, she thinks about the people she cares for, such as; if they are okay, if they have enough food, money, are they safe, etc... 

WHAT   THEY   THINK   ABOUT   BEFORE   BED  :     sometimes she’s too tired to think about anything, and hopes she can just get at the very least 3 hours. Other times, whatever happened through the day, her mind replaying it in her head. 

WHAT   THEY   THINK   THEIR   BEST   QUALITY   IS  :      she believes her best quality is her quiet nature. she likes knowing others are willing to come to her & ask her to listen to their problems & perhaps help them come up with a better solution.

LAYER 004 :    WHAT’S BETTER ?

SINGLE   OR   GROUP   DATES  :     single. she prefers one on one time with her SO. its not that she does not mind group dates, but she finds that sometimes its easy to lose her voice when so many other people are around her & so, she would much rather be able to spend that quality time alone. 

TO   BE   LOVED   OR   RESPECTED  :     to be loved & respected. lets face facts, she comes from a culture where respect is earned. & even then, it is difficult for a woman to earn it. she finds herself fortunate that she has & is eager to maintain that level of respect, if not gain more of it. Plus, she goes out of her way to show kindness to someone, & she likes the fact that so many show her such affections.  

BEAUTY   OR   BRAINS  :    brains. gotta be smart to keep her interested, not going to lie. she values intelligence & likes to surround herself with people who can stand out. 

DOGS   OR   CATS  :      both. she cannot resist either one of them. however, she does want a dog very badly. 

LAYER 005 :    DO THEY…

LIE  :    not very often. she usually has a good reason to tell a lie & or keep a secret. she has told lies within her past & always feels guilty for doing so. however, on most occasions, she is honest with those around her. 

BELIEVE   IN   THEMSELVES  :      no. this is one of her many struggles, because she does not hold a believe that she will ever be good enough. 

BELIEVE   IN   LOVE  :      yes.

WANT   SOMEONE  :      yes.

LAYER 006 :    HAVE THEY EVER…

BEEN   ON   STAGE  :      only in modern verse, where she has sung before in a crowd ( certain verses only ) & or for business purposes. to tell you the truth, she does not like it, especially since all eyes are on her which makes her feel self conscious. 

DONE   DRUGS  :      no.

CHANGED   WHO   THEY   WERE   TO   FIT   IN  :      hahaha yes. she has done so to appease her family & the people around her. 

LAYER 007 :    FAVOURITES.

FAVOURITE   COLOUR  :      pink & white

FAVOURITE   ANIMAL  :      wolf. tigers. spiritual creatures a phoenix & dragons. 

FAVOURITE   BOOK  :      when she has the time to read, she prefers to read something of fantasy novels. she does not have a favorite series, but she does also prefer romance too. 

FAVOURITE   GAME  :      .... the sims. she enjoys creating the world & can sit there for hours most likely completely engrossed. 

LAYER 008 :    AGE.

DAY   THEIR   NEXT   BIRTHDAY   WILL   BE  :      April 26th.

HOW   OLD   WILL   THEY   BE  :      verse dependent

LAYER 010 :    FINISH THE SENTENCE.

I   LOVE  :     my family, friends and lovers. 

I   FEEL  :      tired and alone.

I   HIDE  :      my fears, injuries and depression. 

I   MISS  :      those i care for.

I   WISH  :      to be able to protect everyone around me. to shelter them from their pain and take it on as my own.i wish to be able to see them smile and enjoy life around them. i wish too, that i did not have to feel so lonely at times, yet know that it is the path i must walk.

TAGGED  BY: stolen by @manaborn​ TAGGING: @skjebne​  @huckleberrytm​  @xthesparequeen​  @ka-go-me​  @archeracrosstime​ @purextheart​  @daikusedai​ @slayerled​  @dokusedai​  @kukyc​​  @swordsmithtotosai​ @silverhanyou​  @redratrobed​ @chxmpionofjustice​​ & idk just steal it from me & tag me <3

[kckenobi]

aaaah, 5, 13, 14, and 17 for the asks? (and also......crossing my fingers you don’t run into any spoilers uHhhH i got spoiled in like the first 10 minutes i woke up and mistakenly opened tumblr,,,and somehow forgot about the new episode—)

(IKR this morning I was about to go on tumblr before realizing wAIT—I cANNOT—)

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Hmm for some reason the first thing that came to my mind is when people will try to switch up how they refer to main characters with epithets like “the ginger man” to refer to Obi-Wan or something instead of just saying “he” or his name lol. I’ll still read a fic if they do this, as long as it’s a good well-written story!

I also shy away from fics that characterize my faves in a way I don’t agree with—of course that’s just the nature of fanfic, cause we all have different views and ideas and interpretations, which is beautiful! But I’m probably not gonna read something that makes my faves look bad (or like, blames the jedi for Anakin’s fall, etc) because that’s just not what I personally come to fanfic for, you know?

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?

I definitely outline, probably excessively lol. If you just looked at an outline without reading the fic, you’d definitely know what was going on but you’d think “wow....this girl sucks at writing” 😂 a snippet of the outline I have for a fic I’m working on now looks like this:

Obi wan sits down, but then he stands up again. He walks. Looks lost. Rubs hands down his face

“Hey. Talk to me.” Beat. “What’s going on right now?”

Beat. “Nothing.”

“Obi-wan—“

So like—we have some of the dialogue and description, but it’ll definitely change and grow and all the “beats” will be there. My outlines are usually really detailed because I find it easier to write the first draft that way—seeing bullet points overrides the annoying voice in my brain that says everything you put to paper must be perfect, so sometimes my outlines are close to a bare bones first draft

14. Do you have a personal word minimum that you hold yourself too? Why or why not?

I don’t! For fic I write short form, so I’m never really paying attention to word count—it’s all about pacing for me, and however many words it takes to tell the story doesn’t matter so much.

For multi chapter stuff (which are original works—I haven’t done a multi chapter fic except for Roots, but Roots is shorter than some of my oneshots lol so I feel like it barely counts) I don’t have a word count minimum either. I actually like when my word count varies from chapter to chapter, because it contributes to the pace of the book—a long, painful chapter followed by three short ones in which the character is dealing with the fallout has a different effect than four, equal length long chapters, I think. Its just my personal preference to try to let the scenes kinda grow themselves into whatever length they need to be, if that makes sense? (That definitely doesn’t make sense actually...but the short answer is no lol)

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

For the first few hours, I try not to check at all cause I like to open my inbox and read a bunch at once—but after that initial burst of readers, I’m definitely a little obsessive lol. The serotonin boost of seeing the number beside my inbox go up and going “ooh! comment!” is wonderful 😂

[from these fic writer asks]

[kaptainkhadijah]

Kaptain’s Blog #1 - Rules

Not a bad title right? I think that’s what I’ll call my blog posts that I want associated with the podcast

So right now I’m staying at an AirBnb in Lakewood, CO. I think I have an inkling as to why because I’m seeing some books on manifestation and law of attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks (aka Abraham Hicks) who I’m very interested in learning from because I really like their philosophies.

But that’s not what this blog post is about. This is a post about rules. Because at this AirBnb, I’m being confronted with my distaste for rules that I deem unnecessary. I’m not needlessly defiant, but I don’t just follow rules for the sake of following them. Here’s what happened to me today that inspired this post: 

So today is 4/20. International Day of Ouid. Me, being the pothead that I am, was planning on smoking today as much as possible so I go ahead and roll up all the strains I have. Naturally, because I’m in Colorado, that shit is loud. Just as I’m finishing up, the host of the AirBnb wants to talk to me. I know that smoking inside and outside the house is against the house rules (I’ll touch on that later. Don’t let me forget.) so of course, I’m not smoking it. I won’t lie, I thought about it, but I didn’t! I’ve been here for two days now, and the weed has been in the room with me sealed this whole time. She asks me if I’m smoking and I say no in the tone of “of course not” and tell her I’m just rolling it up and that I’m on my way out. Her reply is, “Well can you leave your stuff in the garage because I can smell it already.” This was the first strike. What I wanted to say was “Well you’re only smelling it because it’s out and I’m working with it. Once I pack it all up, you won’t smell it for much longer. I don’t want to put my stuff out in the garage,” but instead, I just said “Ok” and finished up and dipped. I left it in my room though and just sealed it up and sprayed the room down because I figure that’s easier than putting my stuff out in the garage and it’s the same end result: no smell. 

Now here comes strike two. While I’m out and about looking for a place to partake in the festivities, I text my host and sort of, extend the olive branch. I apologize for the smell and let her know I sealed everything up and I don’t even plan on taking any more out any time soon so we shouldn’t have any more issues. Thumbs up emoji. All good, right? Nope. The host is not satisfied and insists that I leave it in the garage so “the smell doesn’t linger”. Mind you, I just walked my loud ass up through the house and out the garage, so it makes sense that the smell is lingering at the moment. Let’s return back to that rule I was talking about.  

So the rule is no smoking in or outside of the house because her and her neighbors don’t like the smell. And this is a common complaint with people against weed smoking. What’s interesting is, people almost always prefer weed over cigarette smoke because weed smoke doesn’t last as long. Easier to remove. So that’s one. But my thing is: If you can stand the smell of your own farts, of your own poop, of your dog’s farts....how is it you’re drawing the line at weed? I understand if it gives you headaches. But really, does the smell of weed really trigger such an averse effect that you absolutely cannot stand to smell it at all? Like is it really that deep? Cause it always sounds dramatic to me and I was thinking about all the smells we tolerate. So I’m just like “what is it about weed that makes the girls act like that?” You could say that it’s their prerogative since it’s their house. And that’s true. But that’s not what I’m questioning. I want to know why is it that people who don’t smoke weed hate the smell of weed so much. Like can they just not appreciate what the smell means? I’m genuinely asking. Cause it sounds like classist bullshit to me. But I could be wrong. 

Anyway, so at strike two, I’m definitely upset. Here’s the thing: I don’t like to be controlled. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll bottom no problem. I’ll even submit to the right person. But that’s me choosing. I don’t like when people try to exert control over me. Could be my superiority complex as an Aquarius, idk. But I don’t like when people try to wield authority over me in an oppressive way. It’s one thing if I have to answer to you because I work for you. Or even in this situation where you own the house and I follow your rules. I understand that. What I don’t understand is the need to insist on your way of doing things just for the sake of doing things your way. That is one of my biggest pet peeves. I’ve been in leadership positions and I’ve found that the people you’re leading always respond better to relatability than power moves. Yes, you will have to assert yourself sometimes, but overall, I find that people respond better to me when I’m not trying to impose my will on them. 

So that’s why we’re discussing rules. Because I believe that if you want a rule to be followed, it needs to have a reason for existing. Like traffic rules. Safety regulations. We know why we need to follow those rules and there are clear consequences if we don’t. But insisting that I have to do things a certain way, when another way would get the desired result, is ridiculous to me. And I encourage anyone to question those type of rules. Because to me they’re completely unnecessary and only serve the rule-maker’s ego. And one thing about me, I love to challenge a person’s ego. 

Let’s get back to the story. By strike two, I’m considering leaving this place. I’m already sacrificing my smoking habits to stay here, plus there’s this overall judge-y attitude I keep getting from her. But maybe I’ll talk about that in a different post. In any case, I don’t like the way I’m feeling in this situation, so I’m ready to bolt. Then I get home and I put the weed away in the garage and then I get another text “reminding” me to put my weed in the garage. At this point I’m definitely questioning the motive behind the rules. In my mind, if you can’t smell the weed anymore, why does it matter where it is? Why would you need to confirm that I did what you asked? I’m offended at this point. I feel like if we’re both adults here and you still smell the weed then you can just tell me that and I’d let you know I already put it in the garage and try to do something about the smell. But that’s not what she said. So I’m like “Alright bitch I think I officially don’t like you.” 

THEN as strike number 3, she asks me not to eat in the bedroom. I had passed her on my way back from picking up food I had delivered, and then I get a text later on saying she “forgot” to tell me she’d prefer if I ate outside the bedroom in the living area or used a TV tray. Now at this point I’m like “I’m getting tf out of here” because first of all, I eat in my room all the time so you’re really fucking up my flow with that one. But second, I’m paying to be in this private room unbothered. If I eat in the room and I make no mess then what exactly is the issue? You could say that maybe she doesn’t know that I won’t make a mess. That’s true. But! You could charge me for cleaning fees and you’re going to strip and wash the sheets anyway so if I do make a mess, there’s a fix for it. So what other reason could she have for saying that? And if she were actually concerned about messes or even pests, she could just say “Hey, can you be careful if you’re going to be eating in the room not to leave food out in case of pests?” Or “Hey, if you’re gonna eat in the bedroom, just be careful of the carpet in there.” And that could be it! But instead she chose to invoke some kind of rule that I’d have to follow. And that’s what bothers me. 

But I’m writing about it, not only to vent, but to say that if someone does this, it’s a red flag. There’s ways to communicate concerns or needs without making things rules that others have to follow and therefore putting yourself in a place of authority over someone else. Don’t let anybody tell you different. And don’t accept anything less. If a rule doesn’t make sense, you have a right to question it. 

I’ll probably be leaving this space earlier than intended simply because I’d rather be somewhere else than live with someone who feels the need to control what I do to this degree. To some this might not be a big deal, but I know that this stuff is never just surface level. And typically people like this tend to make more and more rules until they feel satisfied. Also, I don’t want to be around this kind of energy longer than I need to be. I’ve gotten enough of it in childhood, thanks. 

Have you had a run in with someone like this? How’d it go? Were you able to get out of the situation? What was that like? Let me know, and thanks for reading!