#the regular one my aunt gave me because she got sad at looking at my little fucked up babies in my window

[hellhelpwhichever]

i'm here from the notes of that one dead aloe plant. im genuinely so curious about your fucked up aloe experiments, can we see them? hydroponic aloe... that's a new one by me

Here is my darling little regular aloe plant

Here is my 100% water fed no nutrient aloe plant where as you can see the leaves

It’s rather curious as the leaves become slightly curved and they reach an extensive length before immediately shriveling up and falling off at about 3 1/2 - 5 1/4 inches yet it still continues to grow new leaves at the top and new roots with ease

Also notable is that I rewatered it about two weeks ago after it got about half empty (after being watered at the point 5 months before hand) and it started growing numerous small new roots days after which have turning into the few long white roots you see now while also having small round bumps on it with a single smaller protrusion coming off of them

Then there is my war crime

It is immediately apparent that there is a wild growth in how long and twisted the leaves have gotten where the few shriveled up are much smaller and closer together then on normal aloe plants not to mention how small the stalk is compared to normal aloe

There is also the curious case of how there is another plant growing in here a month and a half ago despite there being no possible way for it to have gotten in

Now here is a bit harder to see and perhaps more noticeable in the third photo but every shine is a small mold spores which has built a protective bubble so that the water can’t drown it out (even turning it sideways the water covers the entire side of the bottle except these small bubbles)

And lastly there is THE ROOT

A black root that covers the side of the bottle before curving behind the biggest spore bubble yet this is not formed by the mold (as it has its own root system that won’t show up on camera) or the aloe itself as it has small crumpled white yellow roots at the bottom of the glass (also refuses to be photographed)

Originally I was simply trying to see if I could grow aloe in the bottles when they were too small for any filtration system or delicate for any hole to be added so I tried all water and one with soil in it back in summer 2022 but I asked someone to water the soil one while I was out and they over watered the shit out of her and the whole bottle had green (not aloe) on the inside but it was growing like crazy while the water one was dying so I waited it out and here we are

Thinking next spring I’m going to try to implant the back into soil and see how that goes

[pbandjesse]

I have a pretty bad upset belly tonight. Annoying. Today was a pretty excellent day. I was happy for distractions and not a lot of down time. I am very tired but I am glad for it. Today is Sabrina's birthday. And that hurt. I knew it would but it snuck up on me. She was on my mind even more then normal today. And I hate that I don't know where to put the feelings. It feels like stolen valor. Like I don't deserve to feel so sad. That I should be pouring that sympathy and empathy on her mom, my cousin, my aunt. Her family. But I am here family. I just feel so disconnected but I also feel bad saying that. I want my family to know how much I hurt for them. How she should be here. That we shouldn't have to think about what ifs. But I just feel numb at times. I wish I had the right words to comfort my family because instead I say nothing. And I hate that too.

So instead of falling into sadness I jumped into work.

I slept alright. And wasn't to tired when I woke up. I got dressed and felt cute. I wore my new fleece because it is chilly in the morning. But it would get very warm in the afternoon

James made me an omelet to bring to work. Packed my leftovers for lunch. And then I headed out.

It was a fine drive but I felt like I was driving into the sun the entire time. Which sucked and hurt my eyes. But I got to camp in one piece.

I drove up to arts and painted another layer on my sticks for MWEE. And decided to spend the time it was drying cleaning out the car. I meant to bring our vacuum but I will do that tomorrow. Today I just collected trash and put things away. Felt good. I like when the car is neat. I wish it had more storage but I make it work best I can.

After I was done I headed to the office. I was surprised Alexi was in already. We chatted for a few minutes. Then I went to answer emails and eat the omelet James made me. But my laptop froze. And remained frozen for multiple hours. Even the clock was frozen. It was horrible. Like I knew this laptop was on the way out. I have had it since 2019 and is has been falling apart and won't update anymore. And I knew I would have to replace it eventually but it was pretty clear that this was a now situation. I would ask James to look into it. I gave them the specs I wanted and my price point and my lovely husband found me a 2 in 1 touch screen refurbished on eBay with a two year warranty. They got that for me and I am glad I'll have something that works better and isn't so fragile.

In the mean time I thought I would try letting the laptop battery die since there wasn't another way to force restart it. I chatted with Alexi about this plan. And buying things on eBay. And then decided I would go start my big project of the day. Organizing Hudson Bay.

Hudson bay is one of the storage sheds/buildings in stockade. It is mainly used to store archy tag stuff. But when we were in there the other day looking for camping stakes I was horrified by how messy it was. This would be a lot of fun and a solid project.

I spent about an hour pulling things out. Sweeping. Just taking everything out to put on the ground in piles so I could easier look at everything. And I was having a great time.

Firstly there was so many coolers. So many kinds of coolers. Drink coolers. Lunch boxes. Huge white ones. Regular sized ones for camping. It was crazy how many we had. I pulled those all out and figured out what lids went to what. And then started moving stuff out to make space on the shelves to store things.

I decided it would go kitchen/cooking, then coolers, archery, then camping/tents/backpacks. Once I got all the coolers placed it was around 10 and I decided it was time to take a break.

I went down to the office to check in with Heather about the group today. She said instead of helping there me and Sarah would do some moving of bedding into storage. And then getting ready for our volunteer group tomorrow. By the end of the day we would.sll have sections of camp to be in charge of and lists of what should be done. Plus I would make sign ups for everyone so we could have a better idea of who was going where. Felt nice to have that direction.

Me and Sarah drove to Yukon to get some boxes. That basement will probably be my next sorting project. It is a bit of a mess. But we found some boxes and consolidated a bit of bedding to make better use of the space. When I have a few hours I'll tackle that for real but for now it worked.

We went to the pool to collect the trash bags of bedding a coworker had sorted at the end of the summer. There were a lot of towels and clothes too. So we spent a few minutes looking through the bags and pulling out puhtok shirts to put to the side and we both found a couple things to keep for ourselves. It was fun. We were being silly putting on jackets that were way to small. It was fun.

After we stored those three very large boxes and 3 more trash bags that didn't fit in those boxes we would get some plastic drawers to take to Hudson bay.

Sarah would be a huge help. She let me give directions and delegate which I appreciated. I focused on the cooking stuff while she kept taking things outside. Eventually she would focus on the archery and archery tag materials. While I started working on the camping stuff. Elizabeth said that if we found any rei stuff that could be return to rei for credit. So we would on the look out. We worked until 1230, when I was starting to lose steam, so drove some stuff to the sports shed to dropped of a few things we had found. And then we went to have some lunch.

My laptop had died and I was able to log back on. It still needs to be replaced but at least I could make sure I wasn't losing anything and can use it until the new one James order for me comes.

And my lunch was good. I waited and watched tiktoks until Sarah came and got me to keep working.

And it was tough but we did it. I got all the tents out. And while we did not figure out what parts go to what it is at least more organized and we can get into that actually piecing together later. I was really proud of us though. I got up on the shelves and she handed me things so they could be nicely organized. And I was just really thrilled with our work.

I loaded up all the trash we collected. All the old boxes and stuff. The plan was to go to the dumpsters. But we were surprised when there was a dumpster in the way of the road! A dumpster was dropped off for the camp cleaning tomorrow. So we threw everything in there and drove back to homestead and woodlands to walk around and talk through the stuff that needed to be done so we could make sure we weren't confused. We also decided to swap and now I'm in charge of homestead and she's in charge of woodlands. Mostly because she's more comfortable driving the pickup truck. I am looking forward to tomorrow. It will be nice to get more stuff done.

We would deliver some shovels and a wheelbarrow over by the pueblo. And after a little more discussion we went back to the office.

It was about 3 and Heather had me work on the sign up sheets for tomorrow. I finished that and chilled in the main office to keep talking through tomorrow. But then it was time for me to go.

I let James know I was on my way back. We are doing something special every day for our anniversary until the 14th. So we decided on dinner at the brewery where Sam and Paul had their engagement party.

People drove really stupid on the highway but I was as safe as I could be. When I got home I brought some stuff inside. Was happy to see I had a package. And was very happy to see James.

I would get changed into a nice dress. James put on their nice black shirt. They would spend some time updating my website with my Halloween designs. And I opened my mail and was excited about a few new things. S nice pair of earrings. Some stickers. A silly totebag. It was fun.

We would leave here and headed over to the brewery. And it was so nice. It wasn't busy at all and the staff was so nice. Our waiter was so excited that we were celebrating and not only got us a free dessert, he gave us a card and stickers. What a sweetheart.

And the food was pretty good! We got a giant mozzarella stick. James got steak because they had a special. I got a veggie panini that I enjoyed but I did not like the squash on it so I took that off. But the goat cheese and red peppers were great. And we got a whiskey bread pudding with ice cream and it was so good! I think it was made with a scone and that was really nice. I hope James makes us something like that soon cause it was really good.

I was just feeling really happy. My stomach was hurting but I was still having fun. Our waiter was really nice and another wait staff told us if we do a restaurant review and use his name he gets to be in a raffle of some kind. And I love reviewing on Google. I'm in the top 10% of reviewers in our area. So I wrote the most flattering review I could. I hope it helps!!

We drove home and were very giggly and it was really nice. When we got home I got changed into soft clothes. Eventually I would go take a shower. James used the bathroom to trim their beard first. And I would trim my bangs a little. My stomach really is hurting but I am still in a good mood. I continue to be in a good mood.

But that's hard because I'll be so happy and then I remember it's Sabrina's birthday and I get so sad and guilty. Which is stupid. I am sure she wouldn't want that, she wasn't that selfish. But it is still very raw when I think about it.

I just want to put good thoughts into the universe for her. I love you all. I hope you are all taking care of yourselves and reminding the people around you that you love them. Goodnight everyone.

[trollprincess]

Let me explain to you all why this is the greatest fucking day of my life.

First, I’ll explain what that doll is, for anyone too young to know what it is. That is a Cabbage Patch Doll. It’s not like a regular baby Cabbage Patch Doll, it’s some special sort of Cabbage Patch Doll that really doesn’t matter. What matters is who had it all this time. Cabbage Patch Dolls were *incredibly* popular around 1983-1986 or so, to the point where if you go on YT and search for them, you can very easily find news footage of adults going bugfuck in stores trying to get one of these for their kids.

The important thing is not what it is, or even what type it is. It’s WHO had it.

So I was about six or seven when these got big. I had a cousin Erica a year younger, and another cousin Danielle a year younger than that. And naturally we ALL wanted Cabbage Patch Dolls. At the very least, I know I eventually got one. And I did what every kid did with theirs. I loved it into the fucking ground. I played with it, I got it dirty, my grandma made it little outfits. I’m sure my cousins got theirs as well, since our grandma spoiled us all and they were only children, so either our grandma or their parents more than likely got them one.

BUT.

Aunt Phyllis was our great-aunt. She wasn’t married, she had no kids, so we were used to Aunt Phyllis giving us whatever we wanted. And we weren’t bad kids or greedy kids, we didn’t ask for anything extravagant. Aunt Phyllis took us for car rides and played old novelty songs like “The Streak” and “My Ding-a-Ling” and bought us ice cream. She was fun.

But she has always been one of those people who gets caught up in “this collectible will be worth something someday.” Beanie Babies, DVDs, etc. She didn’t have a lot of money, but she’d always find some to spend on those sorts of things. At one point in recent years, she had several iPads because she would buy the newest version but keep the old one, and then use one for email and another for Facebook and another for games and another for Kindle.

Anyway, when you’re six, you don’t understand “this collectible will be worth something in the future.” You understand Aunt Phyllis loves you, and always gets you stuff, and never says no.

So one day I go over to her house for a sleepover (we would stay in the twin beds in her room and we’d watch “Misfits of Science”) and I see THEM. *Six* Cabbage Patch Dolls. SIX. Two newborns and four regular Cabbage Patch Dolls, all set up and displayed on a table at the top of the stairs. (In front of a large window where they’d get a lot of sun and fade and depreciate, but I didn’t even think about that until years later.) Six Cabbage Patch Dolls, at a time when so many people could hardly get ONE.

I looked up at my great-aunt who gave me anything and asked in awe, “Can I have one?”

And my aunt looked back and said, “No.”

She also told me I couldn’t touch them. In fact, none of us could touch them. We were just supposed to ignore them. And I mean … I was six. Erica was five, Danielle was four. Are you serious? I can’t even look at them?

And, like, part of it was they sold these things as babies. They were *real*. They came with birth certificates and everything. So leaving them sitting there in the box all alone with no one to play with them … it made me sad. It made me sad for YEARS. I would occasionally be reminded of Cabbage Patch Dolls, and every time I did I thought of those lonely dolls sitting in Aunt Phyllis’s house and I’d get sad.

I’m sure eventually she gave them away or sold them or something, but having one of *Aunt Phyllis’s* dolls was the dream. I do think part of it was so rarely being told no as a kid, but also that taunt of “you can’t touch them or have them or look at them, they’re just THERE.” That was the holy grail of my childhood.

Cut to now, forty years later. I am a grown-ass woman. My Aunt Phyllis is in her eighties and has been having some health issues, so my parents and cousins are helping her move into senior living apartments in town. This means cleaning out her house, which understandably has a mountain of stuff in it. (It’s not on “Hoarders” levels, but it’s cluttered.)

My mom texts me and says, “Your aunt can’t take a lot of this stuff with her when she moves. Is there anything you’d like?” I said there are two things I’d be open to taking - books (another thing my aunt used to collect), and a Cabbage Patch Doll, if she had any of them left.

Last week, my mom goes, “Come up the house, I have something for you.”

AND THERE SHE WAS.

She is out of the box. I’m not putting her back in. She’s been in a closet for *forty years*. I am going to take this doll and love it until it *falls the fuck apart*. I’m going to get it dirty. I’m going to let the dog play with it. I’m going to make up for four decades of this poor thing not having a little girl to love it by being the big girl who loves it.

And I’m changing her name to something awesome. Like Carrie Fucking Fisher.

[iforgotmyfandom]

Presenting The Logic of my Mother, Movies Addition

Feat. Quotes during the movie (mom is white letters, I’m purple, my sister is blue”

What is okay to watch (aka, my mom got me/us to watch it with her, or she let us butt in):

Interview With A Vampire:

“Stop trying to censor the boobs for yourself. You have them too.”

“Something sad’s about to happen. Do you girls (eleven and eight) want to watch something else?” (We did not)

“I knew you were gonna be sad when the girl died. Bed time” we never got around to finishing it.

Halsey’s “If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power” movie:

[first scene plays] “I feel like we missed something.”

“It’s artistic”

“I hope the baby’s not the king’s”… “Oh. I guess it is.” “…Or not?” “So…. He was gonna r*pe his wife, but the poison kicked in before he could get his pants down.”

“That witch is cool”

“Ooh! I love this song!”(x5)

“Ignore the sex and nudity. It’s artistic!”

“She filmed all this pregnant” “Yeah, I know. You showed me her instagram.”

“Is the baby a boy or a girl?” “I don’t know. They have one of those weird gender neutral names”

“So she was impregnated by a mirror demon version of herself.”

“STAY AWAY FROM MIRRORS, LADY!!”

“That witch is cool”

Practical Magic:

(My sister was not allowed to watch this one)

“Don’t worry. It’s a cult classic.”

“It’s about sisters”

“That’s Belladonna. It’s a sedative, but if you take too much, you’ll die.” “They give him too much, don’t they?” “You’ll have to watch and see”

“Those are their aunts, who raised them.”

“They look just like their aunts”

“Don’t worry.”

Good Omens:

“It seems like something you’d like.”

“When I watched this the first time, you were just barely too young to watch it.”

“What just happened????”

“They’ve been married for at least a century.”

(Episode 5) “You can watch this (barely a sex scene but still a) sex scene because it’s something you will experience at some point.” “Okay….?” (<———Questioning aspec)

Kill Bill 1:

She let us watch the part in the second or third movie where The Bride takes eyepatch lady’s other eye and kills her when I was like seven or eight (making my sister four or five) and my sister spent the whole time we were watching this one asking, “When does she remove that one person’s eyeball?”

*explains the whole plot because we sat down halfway through*

“Yeah, you can watch, but if it gets too bad, I’ll turn it off.” *lets us watch the whole part of the movie set in Japan*

“It’s very violent and r*pey

[about Go-Go] “that’s a very high pitched voice.” [Gogo uses regular voice] “That’s not… I think the high-pitched voice is for her unhinged ‘aesthetic’” “Yeah, she’s a little kooky.”

*explains why all the goons aren’t attacking at once* “so.. it’s like a video game.” “Yeah. Where there’s more and more and more and more and then the boss fight” “that’s exactly what it’s like.”

“And right when she can see color again, the lights go out. Wonderful. SHE JUST GOT OVER HER FULL COLORBLINDNESS AND NOW THE LIGHTS ARE OFF!!”

“That’s some interesting lighting…” “It’s so they have silhouettes.”

“And there’s a room full of dying people.”

My mother, a surgical nurse: “That lady should be dead right now. Unless someone gave her a tourniquet.” “Yeah. That amount of blood is too much, but she should be dead either way…” “Thats where the Subclavian Artery is. We’ve had people die in surgery because their subclavian arteries were cut. And there were people there trying to save them.”

*spends the whole movie explaining its symbolism and meaning*

Currently on the list of things that are not okay to watch (feat. The reasons):

Deadpool:

“I’ve only ever read about it.”

*reads why it’s rated R* “…Graphic sex and Violence. I bet we can’t watch it because of the graphic sex.” “I’m more worried about the violence.”

(According to my mother) if you see something with violence in it, you’ll think it’s okay (said to someone who was more mature and had a better understanding of morals at age five than most adult men)

Bonus: Whatever’s in Deadpool can’t be worse that what’s in Kill Bill

Birds of Prey:

“‘A family (including a young girl and her parents) are graphically murdered by the main villain, Black Mask.’ Uhh… no.”

Violence again

[fluffycloudhead]

Me ranting about some memories that came up

Tw: injuries, chronic illness, neglect, sexism, fatphobia

:readmore:

I just saw a poll about falling down stairs and it reminded me about the time I fell down the stairs in elementary school.

I slipped weirdly, fell down some steps only, but I landed with my back on an edge and it hurt so much.

I was in pain, started crying, couldn't move, but no one helped me. The people nearby just stood and watched. No said anything, there was just me sobbing. I couldn't speak.

And then 8 year old me forced herself to get up under a lot of pain. No teacher did anything. No fellow student.

I could barely move without being in pain for weeks. No one cared. Not my grandparents. Not my teachers. I was forced to do sports classes although I was in immense pain.

I was the chubby kid. The teacher didn't believe me, she thought I just wanted to skip classes because fat kids hate sports.

And I think that's when I started to learn and internalise that I couldn't count on anyone. That my pain is not bad enough and I should just be tougher.

Things like that had happened before. One day I was playing with my brother on a playground and fell weirdly on my arm. It hurt so bad. I was told to stop crying. In the evening it still hurt. I was told to stop crying again. I cried the whole night. My grandma took me to the doctor. I remember my grandad telling her not to give me so much attention over this.

My arm was strained (I think it's the right word) and I got some bandages to fixate it and pain medication.

As a teen I would start to suffer from "colds" a lot, even in summer. I'd sneeze and cough through every night.

No one cared. I was just the girl who - unlike my brother - got sick easily. My breathing started to become harder some nights. Doctors told me to do more sports and work out, I was too chubby. Grandparents ignored me and gave me coughing syrup.

I ended up in a hospital one day because of an severe asthma attack that almost suffocated me. And my grandparents only took me to the hospital after talking to a general practitioner and my aunt begging them to actually do something.

I had developed an allergic asthma over months and years. And one cared. I got an inhaler for the attacks afterwards.

These days I reflected on my celiacs diagnosis I got last year. Now that I am living mostly gluten free a lot of my regular stomach issues are gone. Stomach issues I had since elementary school. Issues that were also ignored. Either because I was a girl looking for attention or just the fat girl that probably just ate too much.

I am so used to my issues not being taking seriously. I even have an incredible hard time taking my issues seriously.

I have so much more stories like these. I've been used to injuries and illness being ignored.

My brother (twin) was treated the exact opposite way. My grandpa would take him to the doctor for every so small problem. He'd get help and medicine for everything.

Because if a "man" (or in this case "boy") is complaining he must have an actual problem. Not like a whiny weak girl that cries over every little discomfort. My grandfather was a rascist piece of shit.

My mother ignored me, too, when I moved in with her later. But she also ignored my brother. She didn't care for either of us.

I don't know where I am going with this. I am just sad and still angry.

And... Friends, listen to your bodies. Answer your pains. Don't ignore the issues. You're worth it.

If I never got to hear that myself, I wanna make sure you heard it.

You're worth to be cared about. You're allowed to take care of your needs and treat your pains and illnesses. You don't have to toughen up. You're allowed to rest. If you can, talk to a doctor about your health issues. It doesn't matter if you're male or female or something different. It doesn't matter if you're fat.

You matter.

[gumballavocadoharry]

Harry and River;

Bedtime call:

Today I had an important meeting to go to. It was about my art and the studio I worked for on their publicity. But they wanted everyone to show up and it was gonna be in a different city. Not too far away from home but it was a 5 hour drive to and from, so that meant I would have to spend the night and River would need a babysitter. I hated having to leave him but there was no other way.

My mum couldn't watch him, so I called Gemma and she was able to. I was relieved but also worried because even though River's used to Gemma he hates it when I leave on a trip without him. He thinks he's missing out and he misses me. While I was packing, River came up to me with rexie in his right hand and he hugged my legs with his left.

"Daddy where are you going?" He asked in his cute little voice. I ruffled his hair. "I'm going to a special meeting for artists. I have to go because it'll teach me new things about painting."

River sat down on the cushioned bench in front of my bed. "Can I go with you?" I flashed a warm smile at my son. "Oh I wish you could but daddy has to go alone okay?" River furrowed his eyebrows and looked down. I went over and picked him up and hugged him. "But auntie Gemma is going to take very good care of you. And it'll just be overnight."

"Overnight! But who's gonna tuck me in at night? Who will read me a bedtime story?" River asked frantic. I picked him in my arms again and squeezed him even tighter. "Aunt Gemma is gonna do all those things for you okay? I won't be gone long and then I'll be back before you even notice." I set him down on the bed and kissed his forehead. When my back was turned, River took some clothes out of my suitcase and hid them under my pillow.

"Huh? I wonder where my pajamas went?" I said obviously knowing. River smiled and I pretended to look for them under my covers. "Are they here?" I looked under the pillow seeing an obvious lump under it. I put them back in my suitcase and closed it. I heard a knock at the door and I knew that was Gemma. I went downstairs holding River's hand and opened the door. "Hey gem." I gave her a hung which she reciprocated. "Hey Harry. And hey Rivie!" River smiled at her before running behind my legs.

I grabbed my suitcase and went downstairs where River and Gemma were. "Okay Rivie, daddy's gonna go now. Let me give you a huggie." I said in a baby type voice. River ran over and I gave him a big hug and kiss. "Be good for auntie Gemma and don't give her any trouble. Listen to her okay?" River nodded. I reminded Gemma of the list of emergency numbers and ways to reach me in case something happened. "He'll be fine Harry, we're gonna have some fun right River?"

"Right!" River said holding rexie in his arms. I gave River one last hug before departing. "Bye bye! I love you baby!" 'Bye daddy!" River waved out the window. I got in the car and pulled out of the driveway and then off I went on my trip. I'll admit, after 5 minutes I missed River so much! I was worried that he wouldn't be up to his regular routine because he was so sad. I started to become very sad just thinking about it. I missed my baby.

While I was on the road, I got a call from Gemma. I immediately pulled over in a panic thinking something was wrong. "Hey Gemma is everything okay?" "Oh yeah everything's fine. River just had his lunch and he's watching spongebob right now. That's the only thing distracting him from missing you so much. 5 minutes after you left he started crying so I gave him some crayons so he could draw you a picture when you got back."

"Aww how sweet! Could you tell him I miss him too and that when I get home I'll give him the biggest hug and kiss in the world!?" Gemma giggled. "Of course. I'll call you later when you get to your hotel. Bye little bro." "Bye sis." I got back on to the road again and thought about River. My poor little dino was crying over me and that made me choke up a bit.

I wanted to do something special for him, so when I got to my hotel and checked in, I came up with the idea that I would video call him and read him a story over the phone in my pajamas. It'll be like I never left. After unpacking my stuff, I rushed to the convention where I met up with Mitch. "Hey bro glad you could make it!" He said pulling me in for a hug. "Thanks, glad you could make it too." Mitch chuckled. "So where's River monsta?" "He's at home with Gemma watching him. Yeah poor little guy wanted to come so badly. I feel awful for not being able to take him."

Mitch gave an empathetic smile. "Aww, I know you miss him to death Harry. But It's just overnight. Sara's been on me too haha!" I chuckled at that and then the announcer came on that told everyone to find their seats.

The art convention was very informative and I learned a lot from it. Once it was over, I grabbed my notes and walked straight out to my car. "Bye Harry see you at work Monday!" I heard Mitch yell. I waved to him before getting into my car and driving to the nearest restaurant. I had a cheeseburger with fries and a sprite while looking over my notes. I was pretty impressed at the notes I took and I put them in the glove compartment. I drove to my hotel where I called Gemma.

"Hey Gem, just wanted to check in to see how River's holding up.' "Oh he's doing fine. Him and rexie are in the 'jungle' right now trying to discover some hidden treasure." I laughed at the bright imagination that my little munchkin had. "Oh that's great, I just got back to my hotel for the night and I was thinking of making a bedtime video for River over facetime. Is that okay?"

"Oh that would be great Harry he's gonna love it! Let's surprise him okay?" I agreed. "I'll call at around 7 and I want you to tell River that he's got a surprise coming his way at bedtime. But he HAS to be in bed." "Okay you got it. Thanks Harry, that is so sweet of you to do that for River. You're a good dad!" I blushed a little. "Thanks Gem it was nothing. I would do anything for him."

After I hung up, I brushed my teeth and washed my face and then changed into my pajamas waiting to facetime Gemma. She sent me a text saying that River is in bed anticipating his surprise. Gemma put her phone up for River when I called.

"Hi baby boy! It's daddy! I'm at my hotel and tonight I'm gonna read you a bedtime story." I was sitting on a chair with my phone propped up. I drew a scenery really fast so River would be intrigued by the colors too.

I read him his favorite story and his face was in complete awe the whole time. It made my heart burst of joy. "Did you like the story rivie?" River nodded with a big smile on his face. "Good. I miss you so much and I can't wait to come home tomorrow! I'll be thinking about you the whole night as I'm sure you will be too. I love you and Gemma and I wish you a good night's sleep. Muah!" I said blowing him a kiss through the screen.

River pretended to catch it and put it in his shirt pocket. I ended the call and climbed into bed, anticipating my little surprise once I returned home tomorrow.

[renaroo123]

Daisies and Daffodils

(Not my GIF OBV, and yes its from Tick Tick! Boom, but this is Peter’s vibe within my story )

TASM!Peter ParkerX TASM MJ. Eventual NWH spoilers but this part is NWH spoiler free!

16+ is recommended due to talks of depression, anxiety and potentially (eventual) suggestive themes. but as of now this work is SFW!

Word count : 2K

Peter Parker was not ready to move on, despite Aunt May, and others in his life pushing him to do so. He'd tried once but it completely blew up in his face.

But a run in with someone from his past could throw everything off balance.  Setting him down the path that had always been meant for him.

A/N: So hi everyone. This is my first stab at writing any type of Fan fiction in years. But No way home really inspired me to write again. I won't promise any regular updates but this most likely will not be a One and done.

Also the first half of the title will be evident in a moment but the second half isn't. Daffodils are symbolic of Rebirth and new beginnings. So it's going to be very fitting

As always comments are welcome, and constructive feedback as well. Thank you all for your patience. I hope you enjoy it :)

.

####

Gripping the daisies in his hand Peter Parker walked through the trodden path of the cemetery.  He'd never been the most comfortable in Christian cemeteries but his comfort was the least important thing to him right now.

Daisies were hard to find this time of year, as it was still too cold for them to grow naturally in New York

But they were her favourite. And after all it was her birthday.

Gwendolyn Maxine Stacy.

Beloved Daughter, Sister and friend.

1996-2014

In the years since her death he must have read her name a million times. He'd memorized  every line in the marble, each weathered scratch from the harsh winters and even how the black paint in the carving of her name has started to grey over the years

Yet it never got easier.

Thankfully he never encountered anyone visiting her. It was a crowded yet quiet place where he could be alone with himself and just talk.

"Hey Gwen" he said, taking in a steading breath. "I know it's been awhile since I've come to see you, but I brought your favourites"

Brushing the snow from the small vase in front of the stone, he placed the flowers inside.

"Hopefully they'll last awhile. The last ones blew away from the wind."  

And there he sat, rambling about his life (not that it had been terribly exciting), talking about nothing. Praying that somehow, she could actually still hear him and it wasn't just for nothing.

".. and of course May is still trying to set me up with her co-workers. She had let me be perpetually single for a while. But I think she's getting antsy for Grandchildren. I swear she'll never–"

He was suddenly cut off by a familiar voice that made him freeze.

"Peter? Dear is that you? What are you doing here" the woman said, surprised.

There were only two women who had ever called him dear like that, and his mother had been gone for many years. So it had to be Mrs. Stacy.

Peter quickly looked over his shoulder, and offered a polite smile. "Hello Mrs. Stacy. It's good to see you." He stood up and brushed off his pants as he continued.

"I was just here visiting her, and giving her her favourite flowers" gesturing to the vase near his feet. "I always bring them with me when I visit"

"Peter dear, I know it's been awhile since we've seen each other but after all we've been through I've told you you can call me Helen." She gave a sad smile, yet moved closer putting a comforting hand on his arm, before continuing "I didn't expect you here. I thought I was the only one who still came. Even the boys don't come with me anymore"

That made his heart twinge. In more ways than one.

First of course in the obvious. The two of them being the only ones left to still visit Gwen Stacy.

Second because he felt bad he'd not seen Helen in so long. They'd grown close after Gwen passed it wasn't easy on either of them but especially for Helen. Having lost both her husband and daughter within two years of each other.

She'd been his rock for the first few months and years after, and Peter had been hers.Peter had truly begun to see her as more than his girlfriend's mother, really more like his own in some ways.

But just like the rest of his Peter Parker life he stopped caring, because the pain became too much.

So he'd thrown himself into working and Spiderman. Everything else stopped mattering.

Thirdly because the look of pity in her eyes cut him deep into his soul. Shuffling his feet he looked down, not able to hold her gaze any longer for fear the tears may come back again.

"I was coming myself to see her. She would have been 28 today" Helen said as she knelt down, placing her own small bouquet in the vase next to Peter's.

Peters' heightened senses told him that she was adding chrysanthemums to the vase. The smell of the mourning flower was unfortunately too familiar to the young man.

Despite his best efforts Peter could feel his eyes misting, as he saw Helen taking a moment and mouthing what he could only assume was a silent prayer for her daughter.

As she tried to rise he quickly helped her up. Offering his arm to steady her.  She'd accepted and rose to her feet, taking a step back from her daughter's head stone to admire their combined handy work.

She couldn't help but smile down, before looking over to Peter. "I hope you've been well dear, how did you do in your studies" the inquiry was genuinely placed and Peter could help but spill his every thought.

But before he could say too much, Helen interrupted. "Peter Dear, why don't we grab something to eat. Maybe some cake for her birthday. It's definitely too cold to be catching up outside"

Peter hesitated for a moment. Not wanting to fall back into caring too much again, for fear it may bring more heartache.

Hadn't he caused her enough by now?

But his gut told him to just accept. If for nothing else the (hopefully) free lunch (absolutely nothing to do with the fact he was still worried about Helen and how she had been coping these years). So the pair left Gwen behind and traveled the short distance to a cafe down the street.

###

The catching up had been something Peter hadn't known he needed. Even though it had been nearly 7 years since he'd last seen Helen or the rest of the Stacy family, he felt at ease here with her.

He was glad to hear the boys were all doing well. Phil and Howard having graduated college and Simon just starting this past fall. It was comforting. Familiar.  

He caught her up on his own life. Mostly staying on safe topics like his work, Aunt May and his grad school.

But the comforting conversation didn't last as long as he'd hoped, as the inevitable questions came up.

" … I'm glad everything has been working out well for you dear. How has Adam been? Are you still seeing him? He was such a sweet boy"

That name made Peter's blood run cold and the chocolate cake he'd been enjoying turned bitter in his mouth. Adam had been his boyfriend for a short time about 2 ½ years after Gwen had died.

But his grief had inevitably broken them up. Even though he had liked Adam a lot, he had rushed into a relationship. Mostly at May's behest, she feeling he had to get out of the house. What a disastrous time that had been. It had truly started his complete downward spiral.

And he had been the only person Peter had been with other than Gwen. Even nearly 10 years on, her loss still haunted him almost daily. But thankfully May had stopped pressuring him as much after the messy break up with Adam.

"Adam and I actually broke up. Just before we fell out of touch actually. He was lovely but looking back I wasn't ready for that type of relationship. Honestly I don't know if I'll ever be"

Normally that would have been enough to make most people drop that, but it seemed Gwen had gotten her stubborn nature from her mother.  

Peter could see that sad look in her eyes, and he had a feeling he knew what was coming. She put her fork down on the napkin before she continued.

"Peter, honey you can't truly mean that. You're a young man. You shouldn't be throwing your life away for a girl you can't follow." Peter could tell those words hurt her to say, but irregardless she kept speaking "It's not healthy, and I know you loved my Gwen. Deeply. Honestly I would have loved to have you for a son-in-law, but I know Gwen would not want you living like this"

She had kept going but Peter couldn't hear anymore. The familiar feeling of disassociation nearly pulled him completely away from the cafe. He felt his stomach turning with anxiety, the rich cake he'd just eaten feeling like a rock in his belly.

He tried his best to politely interject but he feared  he may have come across rudely. "Helen, I know you mean well, but I can't." Despite his best effort his tears had started falling. Sniffling to try and compose himself he continued "how can I move on, I loved her so much. I wanted to marry her, move to England, have kids and grow old. I'd even been planning to get your blessing. Did she ever tell you? We had jokingly said if we had a son we'd call him George after her dad. She was my whole world, and it's my fault she's dead"

Helen had started crying herself now. Reaching into her handbag she pulled out tissues for them both, handing one to Peter.

"Peter, I know it's hard. But truly I know Gwen would hate to see you like this. She loved you deeply and would want you to have all those things, even if it wasn't with her."  Helen dabbed her eyes.

They must have looked like a spectacle in the corner of that cafe. Two people sitting and crying into their chocolate cakes and coffee. But it had been a long time coming.

"Gwendolyn would not want you to blame yourself dear, despite what you may think it wasn't your fault. I know it was your idea to explore that tower but in the end it was a tragic accident. It was no one's fault"

He'd almost forgotten the official version of what happened. The official story being that the two of them had been exploring the tower for a photoshoot for his portfolio, when Spiderman and Green Goblin ,(as he'd been dubbed) had their fight. And Gwen had gotten caught in the cross hairs. Spiderman was too late to save her.

Of course she had believed the version he'd told the police when it happened. A new wave of guilt and shame washed over Peter, knowing he couldn't tell her the truth of her only daughter's death.

Secrets and lying seemed to be the only thing he was good at.

"I know Helen, but it doesn't seem fair. How can I be happy when she wasn't allowed to." He snapped, though he immediately regretted it. By now there were people staring, giving them both strange looks. "Can we step out of here? The cafe is giving us weird looks" he said defeated wiping his face with the tissues.

Helen nodded and stood up, grabbing her coffee, and Peter followed behind her out the door, and onto the sidewalk.

"Unfortunately it's not fair honey, you both should have been able to have all those things you wanted and hoped for. But Gwen was taken from us. And we have to keep going forward." Her voice was full of emotion. "I know it will be difficult but I think you should try baby steps. Why don't you come over for dinner. I'm having Phil and his fiancé over Saturday after next, I'm sure they'd love to see you again. I'll l make branzino, I remember how much you enjoyed it"

Peter let out a small laugh at her obvious attempt at easing the tension. "I think that would be a nice step. Thank you for inviting me."

"Phil will be happy to see you, all the boys ask about you even after all these years. They really looked up to you Peter. I'll call your Aunt Mays with the details. But for now I have to be going."

Peter nodded and watched her walk away down the busy sidewalk.

'What have I gotten myself into?' he thought, sneaking through an alleyway to put on his suit. The only way to clear thoughts this heavy was to swing. Maybe take down a few petty criminals.

As fast as he'd changed Spiderman was once again flying through the tall buildings of New York.

Though the city he loved had no idea the heavy weight Peter Parker had just put onto himself. On top of everything else.

A/n #2: SO yeah thats it, tell me what you think 😅

[nyx-is-missing]

Euphoria × Stranger things.

Ok, if we all agree not to give a shit about dates, chronologic eventes or/and cannon events on this two specific tv shows i have a prompt i would like to work on to.

Let me introduce yall my oc for this specif shot.

•Eleanor (Lea) byers

The only girl between the byers siblings, middle sibling ofc.

She was lonnie's favorite, as bad as it sounds, when lonnie and joyce got divorced he did everything to get custody of her. Only her. He didn't gave a shit to will or Jonathan and thats very much cannon.

Not that he really care about her, but taking Lea away from joyce knowing tha she was very attached to her only daughter looked like a very good revenge.

No. He did not took care of her, he send her to a boarding school the second he manages to get her in. Well.. the second she could get herself in actually, boarding schools are expensive and.. yeah he wasnt going to pay for it so.. her being a straight A student had to pay it of, when she got herself a scholarship (wich didnt took long tbh) she was nowhere close to home, or her dad

She wasnt allowed to go back to hawkins on summer (or anytime really) so she had to try and bond with someone of lonnies family, and she succed.. kind of

Only one person liked her, aunt Claire. She was lonnies half sister, grandpa side of the family and the only person in lonnie's side that wasn't mean to her, she was actually kind and caring, she was like a breath of fresh air, and she remind lea so much of her mother, she couldnt help but love her to the core

Well Lea got tired of the boarding school, she didnt have friends or like the teachers, and honestly, she felt like living on that dark blue/green-ish twilight filter, not in the aesthetic way, everything just looked so...sad? Out of life? Anyways she wanted to go back home. But she couldnt, a few more other things stoped her besides lonnies possible anger, but lets just focus on this possibility, cause its already alot of damage.

Aunt claire got to know about this and they figure a way out of this without upsseting lonnie. Lea would live with her for a while in East Highland. She would go to school there and lonnie would send his regular amount of money to help. It wasnt much but lea would still have someone kind by her side

Aunt Claire wasnt rich, but she wasnt poor, and they made a deal, lea could spend that money, or save it for college, it was hers and hers only, she even could save it to go back home for a whille on summer if she wanted, aunt Claire would lie and make this happend.

• i picture lea being rue's friend, they would be fucked uo togheter and help each other

•as every byers seems to have a artistic talent, i would imagine her as a singer, she is really good at it but dont talk about it or show it of

• she really likes fantasy books and says that reading others people problems makes her forget of hers, but she do enjoy some classics

• i feel like once she knew how to do it she would like to do make up, those colorful and glowy/ glossy ones, it reminds her of will's drawings.

•she like to take pictures of everything, because of jonathan, she hopes to show to him one day.

• being friends with fezco and annoying him to make him teach how to shot

•never done drugs, rarelly drinks, she goes to the partys for the music, and goes home earlier because she dont like to deal with drunk people.

•straigh A student vibes going strong, she really likes history classes, dont like math but its good at it cause she likes validation.

•i feel like she would go to hawkins during the events of season 2

• she would be a lesbian, or a bissexual with women preferences, mostly lesbian vibez

•middle child right? But she was never left out, never happened on the byers family, they were kind and caring with each other, she misses that everyday..

I would love to work on this plot and i want to know if anyone would read it

Should i write it????

[harryspet]

good girl. bad habits. [2] peter parker

[Warnings] alpha!peter parker x omega!reader, omegaverse, boarding school au, dystopian au, soultmate au, suppressant pills, misogyny, hella angst, heat, intense sexual content (wear a condom kiddos)

A/N: this took way toooo long but overall im happy with how it turned out!

part one

In which Alpha Peter is persistent and you tried to hold onto your power. 

word count: 4.5k

taglist:  @peterztinglez @lovelynerdytraveler @buckybarney @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything @saharzek @lovemassivelybeautifulbouquet @what-is-your-wish @marvelslut-musicalnerd @brattypeony @hermayone @buckysugar @yanderepeterparker @ttqueen05 @belleknows @write-from-the-heart @sad-ed-noise @quaksonhehe  @halparkebitchb @bangtaninyourareaxox @blondesforlife​

Wanda was lucky it was Sunday. It was easier to skip Sunday service than regular classes and her severe hangover told you that she wasn’t getting out of bed anytime soon. You walked over to her twin bed and, although you had your own right across from her, you snuggled into her bed. 

“Ugh,” Wanda groaned. 

“That better not be for me,” You frowned.

“It is for you,” As you laid down, she wrapped her arm around you, resting her head on your shoulder, “You’re the one who gave me the booze.”

“It’s not my fault you can’t handle your liquor,” A small smile tugged at your lips until Wanda’s next words met your ears. 

“Goddess, you smell like Alpha.”

“And what do you think you smell like? Is your virtue even still intact?”

“A lady never tells,” Wanda giggled but you scoffed, “I can’t believe that you of all people landed yourself an Alpha. A rich and powerful one too.”

You wish you could react like Wanda. You wished that you could switch a flip and you could see the world through rose-colored glasses, “I wouldn’t say I landed him. He was just acting like a territorial jerk like the rest of them. Who knows, maybe he has a thing for lots of girls. Being a council member's nephew … I’m sure he’s popular.”

“I don’t think so,” You could tell she was smiling by the way she was talking, “Peter didn’t dance with any other girl at the Ball. You’re like Cinderella and he’s your prince charming. Just promise you won’t forget me when you’re royalty.”

“I hope you know I’d rather swallow a knife than be associated with that family.”

Wanda didn’t listen to you as she continued, “Maybe it is true that opposites attract.”

+

Word spread fast around the Stark School and every question someone asked you was about Peter and whether or not you were mates. You denied any connection that you had with him and you made sure to have a scowl on your face when you did. This whole situation was hurting your reputation and making you appear weak. Before the ball, girls didn’t dare approach you out of fear that you’d poison their precious minds.

You preferred when people were scared of you. 

To make matters worst, you woke up thinking about you-know-who and almost all your thoughts were starting to revolve around him. That was enough to drive you insane. 

You decided that for the next few weeks you’d be on your worst behavior. You managed to break your previous record for your number of infractions within a single week. Every teacher that tried to scold you for misbehaving, you snapped back at. Your skirt got shorter and your makeup became even more extravagant. 

Today, you finally managed to get back at the girl who always kicked your shins when you played soccer in physical education. Once she shoved past you, you reached back to grab a fistful of her hair. She cried out as she fell back and you heard the screaming of a whistle though you ignored it. 

It was like all the frustration of your life had reached its boiling point. You hated everything about how your life had turned out. You knew the world wasn’t fair but now it just felt cruel. 

Wanda had to pull you off of her to keep you from punching her, “Y/L/N, off the field now!” You heard your teacher say. Wanda was saying something, trying to calm you down, but you shrugged her off. You were already walking away from the field and towards the bleachers. 

You figured you’d walk all the way back to dorms to let yourself blow off steam but you found a familiar face waiting behind the bleachers. 

Your face fell and you thought your knees might give in. Clad in his uniform, his red tie, and a blazer that held the Asgard symbol completed the look. He looked put together unlike you. Your knees were bruised, your hair a mess, and your gym clothes were now covered in grass stains.

“What … What are you doing here?” You asked the young Alpha and, as he looked you over, he almost seemed concerned.

He stepped closer, his eyes burning holes into your skin, “I came to watch you play but … I don't think you’re making the team anytime soon.”

“Don’t you have your own life to worry about? I don’t know, maybe school? Or does your uncle have too much influence for you to have to worry about pesky things like grades?” Peter opened his mouth to retort but you interrupted him. His lips pressed into a thin line of frustration as he let you finish, “You know what, Alpha-boy? I really can’t do this right now.”

You gritted your teeth as you turned to walk away, only for a strong hand to wrap around your wrist. You turned to last out but, like a candle blown out by the wind, you felt your anger melt away. The calm settled on the features of your face and then it traveled through the rest of your body. 

You looked down at his hand touching your skin, realizing that he was the source, “I meant what I said last time,” He spoke calmly but you could hear the seriousness in his tone, “You’re mine, Y/N.”

“How did you do that?” You asked, your eyebrows furrowed. Your voice was small once again and it made you wonder how long you had been raising your voice. 

“Do what?” Peter smirked and, as much as you wanted to scowl, you couldn’t, “Isn’t this better? Having a moment where you’re not so angry at the world? If you’d just give me a chance, I could help you.”

“And what’s in it for you?” You already knew the answer. There was a part of him deep inside that craved the intimacy you could give him. He wanted someone to care for and to protect but he also wanted territory that he could claim and heirs to carry his name. As Peter searched your face, he could tell you already knew his answer, “I’m never going to want to be someone’s property, no matter what magic you try to work on me.”

“It’s not magic,” Peter insisted, “It’s a mate bond. I think … I think our souls are somehow connected.”

You couldn’t deny that you thought it was true. You could resist him but not the connection you were feeling, “Then we’ll break it-” Your mouth shut as if your body was mad at you for even letting those words escape your lips. 

His eyes turned black, “Give me time with you. I’ll convince you otherwise.”

You finally pulled your arm away from him as a group of girls walked past, heading back towards the school. Some stared in awe and others whispered to each other, “I can’t believe this,” You whispered, letting the anger seep back in, “There will be no us time because you’re not even supposed to be here.”

“Winter Break,” He spoke simply, not paying the girls any mind, “You’ll come stay with my family. My Aunt May wants to meet you and Pepper thought it would be inappropriate to ask you herself …”

You blinked, wondering why the hell he wanted you, of all people, to meet his family, “The answer would’ve been no … I have to shower before Calculus.”

You turned away, your arms crossed but he called for you as you walked away again, “Where will you go then?”

“I don’t know, I’ll have Christmas with the nuns and the groundskeepers or something.”

You looked back to see he wasn’t chasing you. He only took a deep breath and stuffed his hands into his back pockets, “I’ll see you around, Y/N.”

+

Peter was used to quiet dinners with his Aunt and Uncle. Usually, when he talked, Tony would respond with something snappy and condescending. Peter had learned over the years not to shake things up but that only led to anger and frustration being built up within. Peter was an Alpha but Tony was an Alpha of Alphas. 

“You’ve been skipping school,” Tony didn’t meet Peter’s eyes as he brought a piece of steak to his mouth. Peter tried not to freeze or show any hint of guilt on his face. 

Peter had come to visit you multiple times after the situation on the soccer field. As he expected, you rejected him with every chance you got but that didn’t stop him from trying to get to know you. His friends teased him for falling head over heels for someone he barely knew. Alphas were supposed to be above that and let the Omegas crawl to them but Peter enjoyed chasing you. 

“Who told you that?” Peter asked casually. 

“You don’t think I have eyes everywhere, genius?” Peter's lips pressed into a thin line as he gripped his fork tightly, poking at his food. 

“Pepper finally confessed. She’s been going behind my back in order to help you,” He felt cornered and the fact that Pepper wasn’t here to defend him only made him more uneasy, “All this for a rebel sympathizer?”

Peter often disagreed with the man who sat upon his golden throne. Within the walls of his million-dollar home, Peter doubted there was a way Stark could possibly even understand the grievances of the people below him. 

“She’s … she’s my mate,” Tony paused and shot Peter a hard glance. 

“I’m sorry, she’s what?”

“I have a feeling, sir.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “A mate? My nephew has a mate …” Tony spoke to himself, “If I want you to be anything like me, Peter, then I should allow you your independence. However, I won’t have her embarrassing this family, so whatever you have to do to correct her behavior, you’ll do it.”

Peter instantly nodded, “I will, I promise.” Peter felt a glimmer of happiness at his Uncle’s acceptance.

“Who knows, maybe converting her will be good for my image. Our image, Peter.” It didn’t surprise Peter in the slightest that Tony’s mind was now working to see how it would benefit him. 

The quiet dinner continued until Pepper arrived with news that would surely steal any light Peter felt in his own heart. 

You had finally escaped the Stark School.

+

The city was cold but the people were colder. The harsh winter and the busy, holiday season left people tired and caused their words to be terse. It was why you preferred the hustling and bustling city of New York. The rankings existed but it seemed everyone was rude to one another. It was nice to see. 

Besides that, in a city of millions of people, you were invincible. With the suppressants you were now on, no one could outwardly tell your ranking and, as long as you kept your head down, no officers asked for your identification. 

The first couple of weeks were stressful but everything seemed to fall in place. You moved your way in and out of shelters, picking up jobs that paid under the table in order to earn money in order to buy more suppressants. 

Omegas were almost as rare as true Alphas. Most people were middle ranking which meant the council controlled them but they were at least treated like human beings. If anyone found out, the council was the least of your worries. 

That’s why when you thought you were having an allergic reaction to them, you stormed down the alleyway where you usually met your dealer, fire in your eyes, “You gave me a botched pills,” You pressed the bag of pills into Loki’s chest. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” He pushed you back with ease, causing you to stumble backwards as he casually stuck his hands back into the pockets of his black jacket. He looked around, trying to seem inconspicuous. 

It was freezing outside but your body was overheating and your anger was boiling over, “Look at me,” You spoke with gritted teeth, “Do I look okay to you?”

“No, you should probably see a Doctor, darling,” His lips turned up into a smirk, “If you don’t mind, I have other matters to attend to.”

As he stepped around your body, you felt a weight on your shoulders. You tried to take a deep breath as you realized how much you were panicking, “Please,” You called after him, grabbing a hold of his arm, “I just need pills. Real pills. I’ll give you the rest of the money that I have.”

Loki looked over his shoulder and down at you, “Council is cracking down on suppressant sellers. They raided a ship carrying them a few nights ago so I wouldn’t expect anymore for a while.”

The man who called himself Loki searched your face, noting the look of desperation in your eyes, “What am I supposed to do then, huh?”

If he cared for your situation in any way, he didn’t show it.

Your hands balled into fist as he walked away but, in doing that, you realized how much your muscles were aching, “Don’t, please,” You walked after him, wincing in pain with every step. He didn’t seem to slow down for you as you tried to catch up to him on the sidewalk. Pain shot through your body and fire surged through your veins. 

As your vision began to blur, you lost him in the crowd of people. Snow fell around you but that didn’t ease any of the burning pain. You tried to push yourself further, somehow find shelter, but with each step you felt even more helpless. When your knees finally gave in and you bit down on your own lip so hard that you tasted blood, no one paid you any mind. To them you were a simple bump in the road. 

+

The place you woke up was the opposite of the buzzing city. The quietness was serene and the cool white light shining down on you was calming. You turned your aching head, wondering what new mess you had gotten yourself into. You found yourself staring out a window, the city outside but it was clear that you were on one of the highest floors of the hospital. 

As someone cleared their throat, your head snapped in the other direction, as you lifted yourself up in the hospital bed. With wide eyes, you stared back at Tony Stark who was comfortably sitting at the chair beside your bed. As you moved, you realized that there was metal keeping you chained to the bed. 

“Morning, sunshine,” Your head began to pound again, most likely because of how fast you had sat up. You knew you weren’t anyone’s favorite but you never thought your deviancy warranted a visit from one of the most powerful men in society … but then you remembered Peter, “... from what I’ve heard, you’re not known for being quiet.”

You shut your eyes tight as you tried to clear your racing thoughts, “Are you here to personally escort me to prison?”

“Sadly, no,” He said, folding his hands as he looked over you, “None of the council members know I’m here and no one knows you’re here either.”

“... so then you’re killing me yourself?”

Tony grinned, “No, sweetheart. Why do you think I had someone patch you up? That poison was making you malnourished and then your heat was draining you even more.”

You froze, “My what?”

Tony raised an eyebrow, “I’m guessing this is your first one but I’m sure you’ve read up on it in your studies. They say meeting your soulmate can trigger it …” It looked like he was connecting the dots in his own mind, “There were a lot of things you didn’t consider, Y/N.”

“He’s not …” The words burned as you tried to let them out. 

“Or maybe you ran because you knew the bond was real. Your body, naturally, probably didn’t like the fact that you were rejecting him. Did you consider what it would do to him?”

Something pulled at your heartstrings as you finally thought about how Peter reacted when he found out you’d ran away, “... did something happen?”

Tony cocked his head to the side, “No damages big enough that I couldn’t pay for … am I sensing remorse?”

“I’m not sure how you could when it’s something you’ve never felt,” Tears stung your eyes, the reality of your world settling in, but you still held your head high, “If you’re here to preach, I don’t want to listen. And you’re not getting any gratitude from me.”

He could end your life with the snap of his finger yet that didn’t stop the venom on your tongue. 

With a hard glare, he stood from his seat and took a step towards the bed, “I already agreed with Peter that he will be the one to take care of your … attitude. I truly hope that the next time we see each other you’ll be worthy enough for my nephew. You’re a pretty thing, this anger doesn’t suit you ....may the Goddess with you.”

+

The black car traveled down the gravel road surrounded by evergreen trees. Snow fell lightly and dropped onto the window glass and you watched it melt away as you neared your destination. 

You were expecting doom and gloom as you pulled into the driveway. You didn’t expect the cabin to actually look like a home where happy people could live. Calling it a log cabin wouldn’t be fair to the money that probably went into building the luxury home. You could practically smell the expensiveness as you exited the car, not bothering to let the driver open the door for you. 

You spun in a circle, your boots crushing the ice beneath your feet, as you took in the sight. You saw rolling hills of snow, tall mountains, and a blue-purple sunset that painted the sky. 

When you saw him this time it was different. So much had happened since that night at the Halloween Ball and you didn’t expect him forgive you for being so cold to you but-

He called for you and, as you turned to face him, arms were tightly wrapped around you, “You could’ve died,” Were the first words that left his mouth. You didn’t embrace him back, you weren’t sure how, but your body instantly relaxed against him. It was the same feeling you got at the soccer field. 

You were still speechless when he finally pulled away. His hands were still grabbing your arms as he looked you over for wounds. You were sure that your only flaw was the bags around your eyes from the lack of sleep you’d had over the last few days.

“Do you understand that? Someone could’ve taken you or you could’ve killed yourself.”

“I know-” He smashed his lips against yours, taking the words from your mouth. You pressed your hands against his chest but you didn’t push him away. The kiss was long and deep and, for a moment, the earth stopped spinning on its axis, “I don’t know how to do this, Peter.”

Your foreheads pressed together and his heavy breath fanning against your skin, the two of you tried to catch your breath, “Y/N, it’s okay,” Your name on his tongue was heaven, “This is real and I know you’re scared but it’s okay to accept this. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Do you promise?” You asked, weaker than you’ve ever been. As much as you wanted to blame it on the raging hormones of your heat, you knew what you wanted deep down. 

“Yes,” Peter breathed, “And I’m not going to let anyone else hurt you.”

Peter led you into the warm home, helping you out of your coat, and keeping his hand on the small of your back. Your meeting with Pepper and May was brief. They sat in the kitchen sipping their hot cocos and they only gave you kind glances as Peter informed them that he’d take you up to your room. He could sense that you didn’t want an audience to your pain. 

There were photos on every wall and sentimental ornaments. You had a feeling that by the end of winter break you’d know the story of each item.

“This is where you grew up?” You asked, your eyes wandering your new room. It was more spacious then any place you’d ever lived and the heat from the fireplace only added to the coziness the room provided. 

“We spend every winter here. My Uncle Ben built this place,” Peter spoke succinctly.

“It’s straight out of one of those lifestyle magazines,” You felt Peter’s eyes on you as you slowly walked around the room, “... how did he die?”

“Someone shot him,” His gaze seemed to darken at the memory.

“I’m sorry,” You meant your words but you couldn’t help but feel a sense of deja vu. 

“Don’t be,” He shrugged, “I mean, it was a long time ago … I guess I’ll leave you to settle in.”

You sensed he was trying to avoid a touchy conversation and you were more than willing to let him. Just being in his presence was calming but extremely overwhelming. The smallest things he did would cause your thoughts to race and, lately, those thoughts hadn’t been pure. Your mind had been replaying that kiss a million times in your head in the past twenty minutes. 

As his hand gripped the door handle, a sudden wave of heat traveled beneath your skin, “Ah,” You rested your hands against the bed as you bit down on your lip to keep from crying out. It was the same overwhelming fire that you felt that day with Loki. 

“Y/N,” You looked up, realizing that he hadn’t left. He walked towards you hesitantly, “.. you should take off those clothes.”

Your eyes widened, “What? No. I’m fine-” You winced as another wave passed through you, “I’m fine!”

“You’re overheating!” Peter exclaimed and it seemed it was taking everything within him not to do it himself. 

“Peter, I’m fine,” You spoke through gritted teeth, “I can handle it on my own.”

“No, you can’t,” Peter stated nervously, “Sit down on the bed. Let me help you.”

“No,” You said again as you panicked, “I don’t need your stupid Alpha hormones messing up mine. You’re making it worse!”

“I said sit down,” He didn’t raise his voice but there was something different in his tone. Powerful. Your body moved like it never did before. Your body, against your will, sat down on the bed obediently. 

You were left speechless for a moment and Peter seemed to stare at your abnormal behavior but not for long. He kneeled down and began to pull off your shoes and socks, “Peter-” You clutched your side. 

He tossed the clothing to the side before standing. He leaned over you, pulling off your sweater and undershirt. When he finally made it to your belt, your eyes connected, “Don’t say no to me, Omega. I don’t like it, ” Again, your body moved before your mind and you nodded. 

Stupid Alpha hormones.

Without the clothes, you instantly felt better but there was still burning in your veins, “Lay down,” Peter’s hand connected with your shoulder and you felt a coolness soothe the area as he pushed you down. Your back pressed against the soft mattress as you felt your jeans being undone, “There you go.”

“It hurts, Peter,” As the words left your mouth, you felt a kiss against your stomach. Your senses were completely out of whack and the simple touch sent waves of pleasure through your body. He kissed down your stomach to where he was pulling down your jeans. He pulled them down the length of your legs before deciding to rid himself his own clothes. You sat up on your elbows as you watched him reveal himself. 

His body was perfectly crafted, the sight of him causing your core to ache for him. You moved up on your elbows as he stalked closer once again, “Bare your throat to me,” He demanded, lust in his eyes. Your heart began to race and you slowly moved further and further back on the bed as he followed you, “You want me to quell that fire inside, don’t you? I can take that pain away …”

It wasn't a command. He wanted you to go against every standard you’d set for yourself and  willingly show him the ultimate sign of submission. He grabbed your hands, moving them so they were pinned above your head, as he settled between your legs. You felt his growing member pressed against your crotch, teasing you. 

“Please don’t,” You begged and you watched his lips tug into a small smile. He leaned down closer, holding your smaller hand in his tightly, and you couldn’t run from that feeling anymore, “Peter, I can’t-”

“But you want to, Omega. You want to be tamed. You want me to be by my side, protected and loved for the rest of your days,” Peter grunted, pressing himself further into you. All you wanted was his lips on you again, “Now be a good girl for me.”

Your eyes shut tight as you turned your head, exposing your neck to the Alpha that called you his soulmate. He took the sign of submission as a green light to ravish your body. He pressed his lips against the skin of your neck, leaving rough bites along your skin, and you thought you might go deaf from how loud you were screaming in pleasure. 

Peter kissed every inch of your body and you found yourself desperately trying to taste him as well. You realized that a switch had flipped inside of you a long time ago and you weren’t sure how you managed to resist it for long. Like a predator who finally captured his prey, Peter devoured you. 

Your first times were nothing like the movie. You didn’t feel any sort of pain and your bodies were so synced that you felt anything but awkward. You felt like you knew him completely in this life and your past lives before, 

“Please, please, please.”

He sunk deep inside of you, rocking the furniture and destroying the room, “You take me so good,” You nodded eagerly, the sound of his wanting voice driving you insane, “Fuck, get on top of me.” He smacked your bottom and your lips tugged into a tired smile. 

After taking you in missionary, you switched positions, and you rode him until your second climax. Your arms wrapped around each other as you moved your hips. When he finally came he was deep inside you, his moans were enough to send you over the edge for the third time, “Peter, I’m gonna--again!” Your arms wrapped around his neck, you kissed passionately as he filled you with his warmth. 

“You were fucking made for me,” Peter breathed against your lips, “Thank the Goddess.”

Tears slipped down your cheeks but Peter brushed them away with his thumb. You hadn’t realized the love you’d been lacking until now. You didn’t know a stranger's love could be so unconditional but it seemed he wasn’t a stranger at all. Whatever consequences came from this, you thanked the Goddess that you could feel again. 

+

i might write a part three to this but i left it on a happy ending in case it takes me awhile to get to it!

[creativeashproductions]

What If...? I // Alive!Luke Patterson

Summary: The story of Sunset Curve if someone had been able to stop them from the fatal street dogs. A rock and roll family legacy, the reader meets Luke at a concert where he decides she is his endgame, this is a story of their life together.

Warning: Swearing, fluff, female!reader, do street dogs count now??

Words: 3.0k

Requested: By @beautifulblogsblog . The request was detailed so this request with be 5 parts and shorter since I have no clue where 3.0k came from?! Enjoy.

A/N: Interesting fact about the stand where the guys get the streets dogs is the name of shady business is a play on words. Say the name fast and you’ll catch on.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX PLEASE!

Masterlist

Los Angeles, Early 1990s

Sunset Curve started as a fun little project for a group of four teenagers from all walks of life and different stories. It came about when a kind blonde boy was trying to find a socially acceptable way to hang out with someone he was currently seeing. It worked because Alex had learnt drumming as a way to work his frustrations out, he didn’t feel like he could punch someone, so boxing was a no go. Luke, the guy he was seeing, had received a guitar from his parents and self-taught himself how to play. The Patterson parents believed it would be a phase and he’d get serious about education.

The duo found out that an acquaintance had been having taken guitar lessons for several years, as a date Luke and Alex discovered him in the music room at school. Somehow another guy, Bobby, joined and then when the relationship between Alex and Luke mutually ended the band floundered. Alex, however, refused to let the breakup affect their friendships. Luke refused to give up the band. Sunset Curve was then forever changed to a permanent band.

In 1993 Luke attended one of his favourite local bands at a venue where he bumped into you. Chemistry and attraction instantaneous between you two, unlike anything before. IN that few second you both knew that you had see the other again.

“Hey! Sorry!” You called out over the loud music glancing over his shoulder at your friends grinning in response. After a bad breakup, Jay and Ro had been pushing you into failed blind dates.

“No worries!” Luke replied, “Gnarly song, hey?”

You nodded glancing at your friends once more, “I better get back to my friends.”

Luke frowned as you gave no indication you felt the spark, he did in the minute of interaction, but he hoped he could change your mind. The encounter settled in his mind as the concert finished, and the clock struck midnight.

Ro and Jay hounded you for leaving a gorgeous guy with the same music taste, but you just felt wrong to lead him on. Sure, you felt something for the guy but look how the previous relationship turned out.

“After James…”

“He’s an ass,” Ro spoke frowning at the tone you used for your ex. A two-year relationship with a guy you thought would be your forever love, “Girl, I would date you in a second! You’re a strong woman who doesn’t need a man. But that doesn’t mean having a little fun…”

“He’s gorgeous.” Jay supplied looking over at the boy whose attention was sucked back into the music by the band Weezer. The band is an inspiration for his music, “Look at his arms. Cut off muscle shirts were explicitly made for him.

“If I see him again. I’ll think about it.” You sighed chuckling as Jay made a face at the song being played. Jay didn’t like this kind of music, but she loved you too much to not be there when you were still hurting.

A few weeks later in a bookstore, you waited for your Aunt’s book club to end so you could help close the store and go home. The sound of a guitar brought your head over the couch to see that guy with a band from the concert; all of them playing instruments. Godlike he couldn’t get any more perfect, then he started singing. You were a goner.

“You should try the cheesecake bites.” You spoke coming up behind the guy at the snack table, “So you like Weezer, play guitar in a rock band and you sing?”

Luke was surprised at the sight of you, “Hey. I..uh…yeah. Always been a fan of rock.”

“I grew up on it. My parents met at a Rush concert, and a year later they were married.” You spoke leaning back against the wall, “Dad’s on the road right now.

Alex noticed Luke talking to a girl across the room as he packed up his kit, a pinch of sadness felt, but he pushed it away. They ended for a reason, and they just didn’t care about each other the same way. Alex was happy for his friend.

“Is he in a band?” Luke asked glancing at the band shirt you tied into a crop top and a pair of shorts. It was gorgeous but straightforward on you.

“Yeah. The tour bus was kind of my first home, I guess.” You chuckled looking at the guy, “Hey sorry for being standoffish at the concert. It was lame of me.”

Luke smiled, crossing his arms and smiling when he noticed your eyes wander to his arms before you met his gaze again. He usually wasn’t so confident, but God, there was something that drew him to you. He’d hoped he would bump into you again.

“It’s cool.” Luke shrugged, “If I say something really cool, could I get your number?”

You smiled, grabbing the sharpie in your back pocket before gently taking his arm. Scribbling the number on his arm to glanced up to his awed expression.

“Call me.” You replied before pushing off the wall to head to the where your Aunt was starting to close up, “I have a personal line.”

Luke beamed happily following Reggie out the door, a grin that didn’t leave his face. He called. After a date, he called nightly, and a relationship was born.

Your converse slapped on the sidewalk as you sprinted to the band studio beyond excited to see Luke after two weeks of family time on the road. You missed him. He was coming out of the studio they rented when he glanced up. He stumbled back when you slammed into him full force.

 “Whoa!” Luke yelped as he caught his balance and squeezed you close to him, breathing in the scent that was just you, “I missed you so much.”

“Me too.” You breathed hurriedly kissing him in response, “I just got back, and I had to see you.”

The entire world fades away as you guys kissed as if you hadn’t seen each other in months rather than a few weeks. His one hand moving to cup the back of your neck and the other squeezing your hip. Yours wrapped around his neck.

Your heads tilting to deepen the kiss when a voice interrupted you.

“Gag me with a spoon.” Bobby spoke, walking by with a grimace, “Nice that your back so Luke will stop moping but too bad since I’ll have to see that.”

“Oh, shut up, man.” Luke shoved him playfully before he picked up his abandoned guitar case and held your hand tighter, “You’ll understand when you find someone.”

Reggie and Alex waved as they continued on, Reggie would have to endure a tense supper with his parents, and Alex had family plans as well. Luke, however, was bringing you home to see his parents; out of his life choices, Emily and Mitch adored you.

“Come on.” Luke smiled, kissing your cheek as he tugged you to the sidewalk refusing you let you go on the walk to his place. Luke listened as you told stories from your time with your parents; he had allowed to meet them. Every time, however, last-minute details kept Luke from meeting your father.

“So, I have some news…” You playfully said coming to a stop at the front door of his house with a grin. Luke’s little grin appeared at how happy you looked and the sunburn on the tip of your nose.

“Yeah?”

“You know Poison Monarchy, right? The club.” You questioned moving to lean against the brickwork, you were expected to see his reaction. Luke’s eyes brightened at the mention of a famous club that jumpstarted a few bands.

“Of course! The guys and I snuck in to see this radical band. We got kicked out, but man it was such a cool night.” Luke grinned slipping into the memory of being where local bands got big, and most went on to place The Orpheum.

“Well-“

“Luke.” Luke’s dad Mitch spoke from the open doorway with a look of displeasure at the guitar case resting at the teen’s feet.

Luke automatically straightened his posture at the sight of his stern father waiting in the entrance. His hand keeping yours when it started to slip out.

“Dinner is getting cold,” Mitch spoke, turning his attention to you. His stern expression breaking into a genuine smile, “Y/N, it’s nice to have you over.”

Luke was led into his own house by you as you enthralled Mitch in a story about something you saw on the road. His Mom was putting the last dish on the table when the kitchen livened up with the new additions. Emily was quick to tug you into a huge before everyone washed up.

Luke was kind to walk you home after dinner with his parents where he could breathe again from the expectations in his home. His arm slung around your shoulder, humming a new melody that had been in the back of his mind.

“So, I hope you guys are free Friday.” You spoke nestling further into his side content in his jacket he had draped over your shoulders.

“Why?” Luke questioned, tilting his head to kiss your temple. His fringe tickling your forehead as he did so.

“The regular band isn’t able to play, and they were looking for a replacement. My Aunt-“

“-who owns the book store you finally talked to me at-“

You chucked at Luke’s words, “Anyways, her brother-in-law went to high school with the owner, and I may have dropped your band, and well you have a gig.”

“I love you,” Luke exclaimed stumbling back at his words. Your eyes widened in response, “Oh god. That is not how I wanted to tell-“

“You love me?” You shyly spoke, staring at the boy that held your heart in his hands ever since the first real conversation. Luke’s face turned bright red as he stuttered out mindless words. Something in your eyes changed that, and the confidence returned with a shade of shy.

“Yeah. I do. I have for a while, but I know how that loser broke your heart, and I didn’t want to rush you.” Luke spoke cupping your cheek in his hand, “But I really love you. Like, not some puppy love either. I see two things in the future. Sunset Curve and you.”

“Luke-”

“And I know it’s only been a year, and we’re barely seventeen, but I’ve only been sure about two things in my life. You don’t have to-“

“Luke! I love you too.” You laughed, reaching up to kiss him with all the love you could pour into it. Love you loved him, and God help him, he adored you, “Well Rockstar, better plan your setlist.”

You breathed cradling his hands still cupped on your cheeks each bearing a grin of pure happiness because this was a perfect moment; just Luke and you in love. That was all that was needed.

Two years flew by for Sunset Curve and your relationship with Luke did as well and with every relationship came ups and downs. After a nasty fight, you came to a compromise to never go to bed angry, Luke had spent the entire night on your porch. He got sick, and you made up. After performing at Poison Monarchy, the first time they had monthly gigs there, they would busk on the street for extra cash. Luke bought you a promise ring with his busking savings just before the big blowout with his parents on Christmas.

“Luke?” You yawned opening the door to a sobbing teenager. You were quick to yank him in the house out of the cold.

Luke broke down that night after running out on his Mom for the usual argument he had based on his dreams. The next few months he would alternate staying at Reggie, Alex’s or your place if your parents were gone. The subject was too sensitive, so you ignored the elephant topic in the room instead of addressing it.

“Babe, we did it.” The glee in his voice was by far one of your favourite things to listen to. You were sitting on the bar with him leaning back between your legs. Both your eyes scanning the empty area of The Orpheum.

“You guys did it.” You breathed, “You pour yourself into this band. You guys finally get the accomplishment.”

The rest of the band had joined you guys in complete silence to take in the monumental moment in their lives. Something you didn’t want to tell the boys was that with a little nudging, your father had spread the word of an up and coming band. His words would be bringing people in the business tonight.

“So, I’m thinking we close with Now or Never.” Alex offered, “It’s our high-level energy song, and to close with it would be perfect.”

“Our third song could be ‘Home is Where My Horse Is’ and go int-“Reggie cut himself off when the band gave him the usual look, “Oh come on! We need to give a little taste for when we dropped a country album.”

“I-“ Luke shook his head disregarding the same thing that happened at every gig they had done, “We’ll start practising. See you in a bit.”

Luke swiftly kiss you before shoving around with the boys to the door backstage glancing over with a heart-stopping smile. You watched intently as they began their soundcheck for the gig buzzed on the excitement.

“They’re good.” A beautiful girl spoke wiping down the counter beside you—her brown eyes watching the band perform.

“They are. I’m Y/N.” You grinned as she introduced herself as Rose, “The two on the ends are single.”

Her chuckle spoke for itself as she moved away to put glasses away behind the bar, her tight curls bouncing as she walked. You see Bobby and Reggie had their eyes pinned on her while Luke’s head was in the clouds or his eyes meeting yours.

“So, the restaurant is ready when they are.” The gritty voice spoke from behind you. Standing in the flesh was your father who you immediately jumped at.

“Dad!” You exclaimed happily that he had finally been able to come to see the guys play. It was always a wrong time when he was supposed to meet the band.

It’s what happens when he happens your father happens to be in one of the biggest rock bands around. Little people knew who your father was, even Luke just knew he was in a band and called him by his last name out of respect. He had never met him face to face, however.

“So, the frontman is Luke?” Lancaster, Lance for short, questioned his daughter leaning beside her, “Remember when your type was a football player?”

You snorted at his words since he had never liked your ex-boyfriend James. Lance had heard stories from your mother and you about Luke. Lance so far liked the teenage boy. He trusted you wholeheartedly to make responsible decisions.

“Oh, shut up.” You spoke, pushing his shoulder, “How was London?”

“Same as usual. Met up with the guys.” The sombre tone was enough for you to know he had been celebrating a close friend. Even with Freddie’s illness, your father hadn’t been able to leave his side and even four years after the death of Freddie Mercury, it still cut Lance up.

“I’m happy you’re home.” You spoke smirking when the band finished their soundcheck heading to the waitress immediately after. Bobby, no doubt flirting while the other searched for you, “Man, this is gonna be good.”

You raised your hand to your boyfriend, who quickly made his way over with a huge grin and heavy breathing.

“Man that was as exhilarating as our-“

“Luke!” You nervously chuckled quickly kissing him before he could embarrass himself in front of your father. Luke frowned at your tone before he glanced over to the side. Alex and Reggie making their way over, “Guys, things aligned perfectly. I want you to meet my father.”

Luke’s eyes widened as it clicked that he had almost told his girlfriend’s father he was sleeping with her. His Adam’s apple gulped at the fear that flooded his veins. The father in question turned, and the band as a collective released the most hilarious gasp of shock.

“That’s-“

“Lance Y/L/N. By your expressions, I assume you know my stage name.”

“Lancaster Jameson.” Alex squealed having to grab Reggie’s arm to keep himself upright.

“Your father is Lancaster Jameson?!” Luke exclaimed, “You didn’t tell me you’re a literal rock legacy!”

You could hold back the laugh waiting to fall from your mouth at their reactions to your family history. The excitement was overpowering everything else.

“He just watched us perform.” Reggie breathed, hitting Alex in the chest, “My dream has been reached. My goal is finished.”

“While they calm down, I’ll see you later,” Dad spoke kissing the side of your head as he whistled his way to the entrance. The group was collapsing almost only regrouping to make fun of Bobby. You are tugged with them.

“Ok, well, I’m thinking we fuel up before the show. I’m thinking of street dogs.” Luke announced happily, whereas you made a disgusting face.

“No.” You shook your head at the suggestion. There was no way you were going to down a street dog before their gig.

“It would be fitting.”

“No. I have a feeling that street dog would have been your last. The place is called Sam N Ella’s guys, if you say it fast, it comes out salmonella.” You spoke glaring at Reggie went to say something, “No. We’ll head to have food with my folks and some of their friends.”

“Getting food with a rock legend? Heck, yes!” Alex spoke already heading for the door with Reggie right behind, “Street dogs are in the past!”

It was a beautiful night. Sunset Curve got a ton of offers, and many demos were taken from the group as well. They also didn’t die.

Tag List (PLEASE SEND AN INBOX TO BE ADDED!)

@safehavenmuse​ @siennanoelle01​ @whiterose291​ @mell-bell​ @blackhood5sos​ @ficrecsideblog​ @ifilwtmfc​ @deadpoolgirl23​ @crappy-unicorn​ @sunsetcurve-h​@elioelioeli0 @lovesanimals​ @popcrone818​ @lolychu​ @deepsleepnat @tenaciousperfectionunknown

[strong-as-a-tree]

LEVI X HANDMAID!READER (THE HANDMAID’S TALE X SNK - CROSSOVER) // PART. 7

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader (also Erwin but not romantically)

Disclaimers: Considering what the Handmaid’s Tale is talking about, expect to have some shocking scenes in this. If you are not sure, please look out for a summary of the show on the internet before reading. This story will contain sensible topics if you are not comfortable with the followings, please don’t read this story ♡

Also, yeah the characters will be slightly OOC, because of the nature of the story I couldn’t do it differently, I know Canon Erwin would never endorse Gilead, it literally hurts me to write him as this disgusting Commander… Sorry in advance for any Erwin’s simps !

TW: Emotional Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Female Oppression, mention of executional death, childbirth

Minors DNI

Word count: 1,852 words MASTERLIST

PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4 // PART 5 // PART 6

"Ofdaniel is in labour!"

Ruth had woken you up with this amazing news, the older woman immediately helped you get dressed, as the minivan was on its way to pick you up. You had never witnessed a birth yet, of course you knew what you would have to do, they prepared every handmaids for those kind of events back at the Red Center. Despite knowing what was to come, you couldn't help but feel a little nervous at the prospect of witnessing the birth of a child.

The red mini van picked you up, it was raining outside, you could hear the rain hitting the van from inside. As usual, the handmaids weren't allowed to talk in the vehicle, but you could all feel the excitement filling the air.

You were the last handmaids to arrive at the house, and Aunt Olga greeted you with a large grin on her face. She made you all walk in single file along the long corridor leading you to Ofdaniel. You spotted the wives on your way there, all dressed in their regular blue dresses, crowded around Ofdaniel's Commander's wife, who was on the floor, acting as though she was having contractions. Childbirth, like the Ceremony, had a strict protocol to follow, one of which was that the wife must act as if she is in labor herself, allegedly to strengthen the bond between the future mother and the baby.

When you entered the master bedroom, Ofdaniel was panting and her contractions were getting harder and stronger, and the image of the wives soon faded from your mind. The majority of the handmaids had already gathered around her, doing the breathing exercise with her, you joined them. When it was time to push, all the handmaids assisted Ofdaniel to sit in the wooden birthing chair, 'breath in, breath out'. 'Breath in, breath out', the wives entered and helped the Commander's wife to sit on the chair too, right behind Ofdaniel, you didn't even laid an eyes on them, you were sorely focused on Ofdaniel. She was amazing, breathing at the right times, pushing like they taught you at the Red Center.

There were so many people in the room, but still, you thought Ofdaniel was the epitome of dignity, you were awestruck by her strength. Meanwhile, the Commander's wife was also letting out small whimpers, acting as she was pushing along with Ofdaniel. As Aunt Olga announced that the baby's head was out, you patted Ofdaniel's back, 'breath in, breath out,' and the baby was eventually out after a few pushes. Silence fell in the room, when a cry finally escaped the infant's mouth, everyone let out a cry of relief. "There is no greater miracle than the miracle of life." said Aunt Olga with a smile on her face. Ofdaniel was glowing, already putting her arms towards the baby, but Aunt Olga ignored her and gave the baby to the Commander's wife.

One of the handmaid took Ofdaniel's hands so the wives wouldn't notice her previous gesture, you could see that Ofdaniel eyes were glued to her baby, the wives were already leaving the room. You noticed Ofdaniel's face contort in a desperate state, tears streaming down her cheeks, and you knew she was about to explode; you weren't the only one who realised it, and all the handmaids gathered around her and hugged her, preventing the woman from doing anything that would result in her punishment. Her muffled cries could be heard, and silent tears welled up in your eyes as well.

Most of the other handmaids had left, the other that stayed were helping the Martha of the house with the buffet for the Commanders and the wives. You were still in the master bedroom, Aunt Olga had asked you to stay with Ofdaniel, the older woman was surely with the Commander's wife, examining the baby, it was also part of an Aunt's job after all. You were sitting on the bed, next to you was Ofdaniel, she was laying under the covers, you had helped her get cleaned with Ofgrisha earlier. She was silent, her eyes were wide open, looking at the ceiling above you. You were holding her hand that was resting on her still swollen stomach, "It's funny, y'know", Ofdaniel's voice was so faint that at first you thought you had imagined it. The woman didn't wait for you to ask her what was funny as she continued, "Every month they desperately tried to put a child in me here, in this bedroom, and today they placed me in this bedroom again, but this time, I had to give them back this child..."

You pinched your lips, unsure what to say; although Gilead taught you that your whole life should revolve around having a baby, you had a nagging feeling that if life had been different for you, if Gilead hadn't existed, if they hadn't taken you away from your parents when you were still a teenager, you wouldn't have wanted children. Maybe Gilead simply ruined the idea of motherhood for you, and you were lying to yourself, 'there is no use to think about that, it's not like you would ever be a mother anyway', you thought as you tried to push the mental image of a baby in your arms out of your mind.

Having a baby would entail, like Ofdaniel, having to give it up and immediately go to another 'family' to give them another child. You knew it was your fate, Gilead frequently tested their handmaids, and you knew for a fact that you were very much able to get pregnant. As Aunt Olga would say, that meant you'd never be transferred to the colonies; you'd been blessed. Still, after every Ceremonies, you couldn't help but pray that your Commander was sterile, every month without getting pregnant, were days of semblance of 'freedom'. Not being pregnant, not being under a man's body, not having to take care of another person's child, was the maximum freedom a woman could get in Gilead.

"Ah, my girls!", your thoughts got interrupted as Aunt Olga entered the room, she was beaming! Ofdaniel looked at her with an absent look on her face, you recognized that look, you had worn it before, she had given up. You immediately thought of Levi's words; 'If you continue to shield your mind like this, [...] you'll lose yourself'. You tried to catch her attention by shaking her hand a little, but it was in vain, she didn't acknowledge your gesture. "Oh! Ofdaniel, you did such a good job!" exclaimed the older woman as she sat on the opposite side of the bed, taking Ofdaniel's other hand, "Your Commander is so happy! And his wife too!", Olga was overjoyed, you couldn't help but think she must be even more happy that the parents, you had seen the look on her face when she handed the infant to the wife, there was a tinge of envy, if not outright jealously, beneath her plastered smile. It was not the first time you had seen that look on her face, on your way to the your Commander's house, you also had that thought about the older woman.

"The baby is an healthy little boy, five fingers and five toes on each hand and foot!", said the woman with a laugh, at that statement Ofdaniel's eyes shot up, "C-can I see him?", Aunt Olga sighed, her palm resting on Ofdaniel's cheek, "Oh my dear..." she whispered, "I wish I could say yes for the sake of the baby's health! But the Commander's wife doesn't want you to breastfeed the baby", she said with a disappointed voice. Ofdaniel looked at the ceiling again, a single tear streaming down her cheek, as Olga continued blabbering about how it was a shame that the baby will be fed with formula instead of breast milk. The older woman was known for always saying how much she cared and loved her 'girls', what a lie you thought, right now her only worry was on the infant, not on Ofdaniel.

"I think Ofdaniel needs some rest, Aunt Olga," you finally murmured, interrupting the woman's outpouring, "Oh, you are right Oferwin, how lucky you are Ofdaniel to have such a caring friend beside you!" You cringed at her words; 'lucky' was not the word you had in mind right now. Suddenly Ofdaniel sat up and grabbed Olga's hand, stopping the older woman as she was about to get up, "What's his name?". Olga hesitated a second, studying Ofdaniel's face, "They named him Armin."

You spent the entire day with Ofdaniel, Ofgrisha had come at some point to keep you company, but it was very silent. As the day progressed, Ofdaniel's sadness worsened, and she was forced to return to her chamber. The new parents no longer needed her, therefore she will return to the Red Center tomorrow to rest before being assigned to a new family.

It was late at night and all the other handmaids had left, Aunt Olga had called for Levi to bring you back home, you kissed Ofdaniel's forehead, "I'm sorry" you whispered. You weren't quite sure why you were apologizing, maybe you said sorry because you knew no one would apologize to her; her Commander would never apologize for the Ceremonies, his wife would never apologize for taking her baby away, Aunt Olga would never apologize for not defending her right to see little Armin, Gilead would never apologize.

As you were leaving, you passed by the living room, you caught a glimpse of the baby, he was in a little bassinet, his eyes were closed, but you saw some light almost white hair sticking out of his bonnet. Levi was waiting for you in front of the black Range Rover, he opened the door for you, after making sure you were comfortable, the driver took a seat behind the wheel. You were in the back, you felt tired, all of the emotions of the day took a toll on you. "It's a boy" you suddenly said, you didn't know why you said it, you were sure Levi couldn't care less about the child, but you felt the need to talk. The man didn't react at your words, his eyes were focused on the road, "I think he'll have blond hair, like Ofdaniel", you said, smiling at that thought, neither the Commander nor his wife had blond hair, so the child would at least get something from his mother.

Levi looked at you in the rearview mirror, "Hopefully he won't inherit the Commander's nose", you snorted, he said it with such a nonchalant voice. You continued to tell him how the day went, not forgetting to mention every little detail that you thought were important, like how amazed you were at Ofdaniel's strength or how ridiculous the wife looked when she faked having contractions. Levi didn't speak much, only nodding or giving a witty remark here and there. It was relaxing, it was strangely normal. Normality was such a foreign feeling since you arrived at Gilead, so you embraced the moment.

lovely people: @rapsgoddess​ @a--nonymousse​ @gothiccii @omlbarnes​ @hybrid-huntress​

PART 8

[waitimcomingtoo]

Where We Start Again - 7

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: how do you fake date someone you have real feelings for?

Series Masterlist and Regular Masterlist

Playlist by @tiny-friggin-human

“Peter! Y/n’s here!”

Peter gave himself one last look in the mirror and let out a nervous breath. He fixed his tie, put it back to its original position, and then fixed it again. He ran his fingers through his hair one final time and left his room.

Peters legs carried him to the front door where you stood next to May. He had already seen your dress, but it took his breath away nonetheless. Your hair was in lose curls that framed your face like the worlds prettiest painting. You looked away from May and made eye contact with Peter, giving him a fond smile.

“You look incredible.” Peter laughed shyly and gave you an awkward thumbs up. “You look like how poetry sounds. Like, you are the most beautiful stanza my life has written.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” You shot back. Peter stared at you in adoration until May cleared her throat.

“Oh, right.” He looked down the at corsage in his hands and held it out to you. “This is for you.”

You took the corsage from Peter and smiled gratefully. Through the plastic box, you could see a corsage of daises held together by a florescent wrist band.

“It’s um, daises…for my daisy.”

“I thought your name was Y/n?” May whispered in your ear.

“It is.” You told her. “It’s his nickname for me.”

“Aw.” She gushed and looked to Peter. “I love that. Okay, get together.”

You and Peter spent the next ten minutes in various poses while May snapped pictures. Peter could sense some distance between the two of you and he wondered if something was bothering you. Not wanting to ruin the dance for you, he didn’t bring it up.

“Okay, we’re going now May. Don’t wait up.” Peter kissed his aunts cheek before ushering you out the door.

“Are you ready?” Peter asked once you got in the elevator.

“How bad is this gonna mess up my hair?” You whined and smoothed your hair down.

“Baby girl, this is going to give you that beautiful, windswept look that all the girls will be jealous of.” Peter explained as you steppes off the elevator and onto tour roof.

“You know, most girls get a limo.” You pointed out.

“Yeah well,” Peter wrapped his arm around your waist and held you tightly, “most girls aren’t dating Spider-Man.”

You cracked a smile before you booth dove off the building and swung to prom.

~

Since neither you or Peter were big dancers, you took a seat on the bleachers and just talked while the rest of the class had fun. He could tell you were reserved tonight, not taking his hand or showing affection like you normally would. He figured it was probably since today was the last day of your fake relationship. That told him that it was just pretend for you, and you were through pretending. Anything MJ or Ned told him about you liking him back want true, and he just had to accept that.

A sadness began to sink into Peter as he realized this would be the last time he could call you his girlfriend or be with you in this way. It was taking away his ability to enjoy the dance and all he could do was hope you couldn’t tell.

“I’ll be right back. I just want to make sure the DJ got my updated playlist.” You squeezed Peters arm and got off the bleachers.

“I’ll be here.” He told you and you gave him a tight smile before leaving.

Once you were out of earshot, Peter let out a loud sigh. It was all too much. You looked too beautiful and he was going to miss you too much. Now that he had gotten everything he ever wanted, he felt listless and empty. Ned noticed his best friends glum face and brought him a cup of punch. Peter gratefully accepted the punch and scooted over something Ned could sit.

“Why do you look so miserable? You’re at the school dance with Y/n L/n.” Ned shook his arm anxiously. “This is our peak, Peter. It’s all downhill from here.”

“Because it all ends after tonight. She’s not gonna be my fake girlfriend anymore. We won’t have an excuse to hang out.” Peter mumbled as he dug his shoe into the floor.

“I thought we were gonna get the gross sandwich every year?” Ned reminded him.

“I doubt it. She’s gonna graduate and go off to do amazing things and forget all about me. And even if we do keep the tradition, that’s one day a year where I’ll have to listen to her talk about how everyone at college loves her because how could they not and I’ll just have to sit there and pretend I’m not in love with her.” Peter shrugged sadly. “She has the world at her fingertips, Ned. She’s gonna be over me by tomorrow and I’m gonna be crying in a bar on my 29th birthday party about how I let her get away while a Coldplay song plays.”

“Hauntingly specific.” Ned muttered.

“I lied to you.” Peter looked at him. “I knew what this was and I still got hurt.”

“Peter, don’t smile because it happened. Cry because it’s over.” Ned said sympathetically. Peter stared at him for a while and ultimately decided not to tell Ned that he messed up the saying.

“Hey, Peter.” Flash nodded at the boys as he approached them. “Hey Justin. Could you give us a minute?”

“Justin?” Ned whispered to himself before walking away. Flash patted him on the back and took a seat next to Peter.

“I think that’s the first time you ever called me by my real name.” Peter chuckled humorlessly as he watched you from across the gym.

“Your girlfriend kinda ruined Penis Parker for me.” Flash told him. “Every time I think about it, my mind goes to terrifying places. I couldn’t sleep for a week.”

“Yeah, she has that affect on people.” Peter smiled to himself.

“I’m not dumb.” Flash said suddenly. “I act dumb and say dumb things, but I’m third in the class. It goes Y/n, you, and me.”

“I never knew that.” Peter looked at him curiously. “I honestly didn’t think you could read.”

“Well I can. Books and people. And I’ve been reading your girlfriend for a while.” Flash said pointedly. Every time he called you his girlfriend, it cut Peter like a knife. All it did was remind him that after tonight, he could never call you that again.

“What do you mean?”

“I know it was fake.” Flash admitted and Peters eyes went wide. “There was no way you started going out with that girl and didn’t tell anybody. I only played along because I wanted to see how far it would go. I wondered how the smartest girl in school was gonna figure out how to get out of going to a dance she planned with a total loser. I thought she was gonna back down after a day, but she just got stronger. It’s like when you spray a bug with Raid and it comes back at you with a vengeance.” Flash shuddered. “That’s what she did. I heard MJ and Ned talking about it in English. They said you guys went dress shopping together, baked cookies together, stuff like that. And she learned to play your favorite song or something?”

“Yeah.” Peter smiled at the memory. “She did.”

“That’s what I mean. That’s not fake. Maybe the first day was about proving a point to me, but all the other days weren’t.” Flash explained. “I doubt I crossed her mind once in the past two weeks. She wasn’t doing it for me. She was doing it for you.”

Peters face twisted in confusion at Flash’s words.

“But this was her idea.” Peter told him. “I gave her a million chances to back out but she insisted on faking a relationship.”

“Listen Peter, no one saw this coming. Least of all, her. By some God, she fell in love with you for real. Everyone can see that but you.” Flash clapped Peter on the back. “She’s happier, she laughs louder, she even wears your hoodie when you’re not around. I live in her building, dude. I see her getting her mail every morning in that thing. I think she sleeps in it.”

“Really?” Peters lips curved into a smile.

“Yes, dumbass.” Flash grunted. “This isn’t fake for her. You stumbled into some teen movie plot where the hot girl falls in love with the nerd and they defy all odds and end up together. I mean, look around Peter. You are at the senior dance with the girl every boy in our class wanted to go with. She could have had any of these dumbasses but she picked the biggest dumbass of all. She picked you. And instead of going out there and enjoying the dance with her, you’re over here sulking about how she’ll never like you back.”

“You’re also over here sulking.” Peter reminded him.

“That’s just my face.” Flash snapped and went quiet for a moment. “You know she got into Harvard?”

“What?” Peter practically yelled. You had definitely not told him about that.

“Yeah. Like I said, I see her at the mailbox. I saw her open the letter.” Flash continued. “I also eavesdropped on her conversation with MJ about getting in.”

“What did she say? And why didn’t she tell me?” Peter wondered out loud.

“She said she’s not going.” Flash shrugged.

“What? Why not? That’s her dream school.” Peter exclaimed. He was frustrated now. Frustrated that you hadn’t told him and frustrated that you were trying to turn it down.

“Are you really that dumb?” Flash asked in annoyance.

“Apparently.” Peter stated, still not getting it.

“She’s not going because of you, you incel.” Flash said abruptly. “I heard her tell MJ that you were staying in New York for college and she didn’t want to leave you.”

“She’s staying for me?” Peter asked, mostly to himself.

“Yep.” Flash nodded gratuitously. “Apparently she’s not as smart as she seems.”

Peters shoulders slumped as he mulled over what Flash told him.

“She can’t throw away her life like this. Not for me.” He shook his head decidedly. “I could never make her happy.”

“Well, that’s a given, no?” Flash asked him. “You’re not good enough for her. And not even on a popular versus non popular spectrum. She is an angel among us and you build Lego lamps and smell like baby oil. You’re a loser, Peter. You are always going to be a loser.” Flash put his hand on Peters back and pointed to you. “But a girl like that is going places. And now she’s giving up her dream school for a guy she’s known for two weeks. Do you really want to be the thing that holds her back?”

Peter thought about it for a second and shook his head. Flash was right. Just like MJ, he wasn’t trying to be mean. Peter was a loser. In that moment as you gave him a flirty wave from across the gym, he knew he loved you too much to let you waste your life on him.

“No, I don’t.” He realized. “I can’t let her do that. I have to let her go.”

“If you do, can you tell me? I wanna be her rebound.” Flash rubbed his hands together as he stared at you.

“Sure.” Peter stood you and realized what Flash said. “I mean, no. Ew.”

Peter was about to walk away when he turned back around to look at Flash.

“Hey Flash?”

“What?” He grumbled.

“Thanks.” Peter smiled. “Third in the class is really cool.”

With that, Peter pushed his way through the student body to get to you. He had decided to break things off after the dance, rather than during. You worked so hard planning it and he wasn’t about to be the jerk that ruined it for you. The way your eyes lit up as Peter made his way to you killed him inside. He could barely stand to look at you, knowing what he was gonna have to do later that night.

“Hey daisy.” He gave you a tight smile. Now that he was closer, he could see you were upset about something. He began to fear that someone had told you about the conversation he had with Flash.

“Hi Peter.” You smiled sadly.

“What’s wrong?”

“I put real beta fish in the centerpieces because I wanted this dance to be elegant and creative but the fish keep dying so everyone has dead fish on their table and it’s disgusting and Stacy the vegan started crying and I ruined the dance.” You said all in one breath, punctuating your rant by resting your forehead against Peters shoulder. He instinctively wrapped his arms around you and rubbed your back.

“Hey hey hey, the dance isn’t ruined.” He assured you and pulled away so he could look at you. “I’ll get Ned to get rid of the centerpieces and then the problem will be gone. I have a feeling he’s going to love this task.”

“This is all my fault.” You whimpered. “This is what I get for buying 200 fish off a guy who swiped my credit card through a crack between two bricks. I’m such a bad business mogul. I’m never gonna be on the cover of Forbes magazine.” You began to cry and buried your face in Peters chest again.

“Daisy, it’s okay.” He chuckled and got the hair out of your face. “Forbes is still gonna put you on the cover. And I’m gonna buy every copy and tell everyone I know that that was my fake girlfriend in high school. You haven’t ruined anything. Everyone is enjoying the dance, see?”

You lifted your head of Peters chest to look around the dance floor. Your senior class was laughing, dancing, and all round having a good time.

“You think so?” You looked at Peter tearfully.

“Absolutely.” He smiled sweetly. “I’ve had a bunch of people come up to me and tell me my girlfriend planned an awesome dance. Everyone is having a great time.”

“Thanks, Peter.” You hugged him again and he could feel your body relax.

“I’m gonna go tell Ned to take care of the fish. Stay here.” He ordered and left to find Ned. Luckily, he spotted Ned gaping at one of the centerpieces close by.

“Dude, these fish are dead.” Ned said as Peter approached him.

“I know and it’s really bumming Y/n out.” Peter told him. “I need you to collect all the center pieces and throw them out. But check if the fish are alive first.”

“I was put on this planet to complete this task.” Ned grinned and saluted Peter.

“I know buddy.” Peter saluted him back and turned on his heel to go back to you.

“Wait, what do I do with the alive ones?” Ned asked.

“Save them for us, obviously.”

“Hell yeah.” Ned pumped his fist. “Okay, I’ll get on it.”

Peter smiled in relief and went back over to where you were.

“Your centerpieces are taken care of, my lady.” Peter declared, making you smile widely.

“Thank you.” You gushed. “I’ll have to thank Ned too. He’s doing it so fast, it’s like he’s done it before.”

“The scary part is, I feel like Ned would be the type of person to have collected tiny fish corpses during a school dance before.” Peter said as he watched his best friend steal fish from decorative centerpieces.

“You two are really something.” You laughed and took one of Peters hands. He held your hand with both of his and patted it gently.

“Yeah.” He laughed before his eyes shifted to the right. “Flash is staring at us.”

“Then let’s give him something to stare at.” You shrugged and dragged Peter to the middle of the dance floor. He gulped, having a feeling where you were going with this.

“I don’t really know how to dance.” He told you once you got to the center.

“Then I’ll lead. Just put your hands on my hips and sway.” You instructed Peter and he complied. “And hold tight. We’re dating, after all.”

“Like this?” Peter held your hips firmly and looked to you for approval.

“That’s perfect.” You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Come closer, though.”

Peter stepped closer so your bodies were pressed together. You and Peter kept in time with the song and swayed softly to the music. Peter couldn’t get over how pretty you looked in your dress. He was sure the sight of your standing in his doorway was one he would never forget. You looked absolutely enchanting and it made his heart swell and burst. The past two weeks of getting to know you were a dream come true for him, and it killed him that the dream was about to end. And he just hated that he had to break your heart.

“I’m sorry you have to spend your senior dance with me.” Peter said suddenly. “I’m sure this wasn’t a part of the plan when you stood up for me in the hallway.”

“It wasn’t, but it worked out.” You shrugged. “I was gonna ask you to the dance anyway.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because you were taking too long to ask me.” You mocked him. Peter smiled timidly and looked down at his shoes.

“I was a little busy fighting off the hundreds of girls competing for my attention with a longsword.” He said apologetically.

“Ha ha.” You laughed sarcastically. “They better know to stay away from my man.”

“I’m kidding. You have absolutely no competition, in a hot way.” He added. “I don’t think girls can even see me. Like, their brain blocks me out. And two week ago, I didn’t have the courage to say “bless you” after you sneezed. I never could’ve asked you to the dance.“

“Can you stop that?” You looked at him angrily.

“Stop what?” He asked.

“Belittling yourself.” You answered. “You’re a really, really good guy Pete. You’re sweet and you’re funny and super ripped for some reason. How come you’ve never had a girlfriend?”

“I don’t know. Girls don’t really go for the winner of the science fair. I’m not what they want.”

“Then they’re stupid. No wonder I’m number one in the class.” You smiled smugly and brushed some hair off your shoulder.

“What about you? Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” He wondered. “And I know for a fact your excuse is not the same as mine, so don’t even try it. I’ve seen boys break up with their girlfriends just because you walked by.”

“Those boys don’t want me.” You shook your head and readjusted your arms around Peters neck. “They want the most popular girl in school. They’re looking for status and a good parking spot and a seat at the cool kids table. If I wasn’t popular, they would never look my way.”

“Yeah. I hear boys hate it when girls are pretty.” Peter nodded like he understood.

“Shut up. I’m being serious.” You whined. You got quiet suddenly and refused to meet Peters eyes as you stared at the ground. “Do you ever feel unlovable?”

“Sometimes. Or hard to love, at least.” He answered honestly and looked at you out of curiosity. “Do you?”

You looked up at Peter with a pained look in your eye.

“I look in the mirror sometimes and I have to wonder, is this it?” You whispered. “And if it is, how is this gonna be enough for someone? How is someone going to love this? If you’re in a room full of beautiful flowers in full bloom, no ones gonna pick a daisy.”

“Don’t say that. Someone would.” Peter tightened his grip on your waist, angry that you would say something like that about the girl he loved. You looked at Peter and smiled a little.

“Being with you is the first time I’ve felt like someone could love me.” You spoke softly. “And it’s the first time I’ve felt like I could lo-“

“Don’t say it.” Peter cut you off. If you said what he thought you were about to say, he would never be able to let you go. It was hard enough already to leave you. If he knew you loved him, he coudk never bring himself to do it. Your face went pale and rigid, thinking Peter cut you off because he was rejecting you once again.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” You let go of Peter, all the emotions from the night before hitting you once again. “I have to go.”

You began to walk away from Peter but he grabbed your arm gently and turned you around.

“Daisy, wait.” He stopped you and held you in place. His mind was a battlefield. He knew he had to let you go, but it killed him inside to do it. He just needed one last chance to look at you.

“What are we doing here, Peter?” You laughed sadly. “We said this ends with the dance. Just let me go.”

You broke out of his grip and started walking away away.

“I can’t. Not when I - - just please don’t leave.” He pleaded. Before you could respond, a familiar song played through the speakers. “Hey There Delilah.” Peter mumbled as the bass vibrated in his chest.

“I made the playlist.” You shrugged. “I really have to go. Say So is next and if I see Ned doing that dance one more time…” Your voice cracked before you turned away from him and ran out of the gym, shoving the doors open and escaping through them. Peter watched you leave as he wondered what went wrong so quickly. He knew you well enough by now to know something even bigger was bothering you, he just couldn’t figure out what. He ran after you and caught up to you in the parking lot.

“Daisy - daisy wait.” He called but you kept running. “Will you stop? How do you run so fast in heels?”

“Go away, Peter.” You spun around and he could see the tears in your eyes. You held yourself for a moment as the cold air hit your exposed arms, still warm from the dance.

“No. I’m not gonna go away until you tell me what’s bothering you.” Peter declared. “What happened back there?”

“Why don’t you want me?” You cried before Peter could finish his sentence. He recoiled a little, completely taken aback by your question.

“What?”

“Why don’t you want me?” You repeated, black tears now streaming down your cheeks.

“Of course I want you. You’re the one who doesn’t want me.” He protested. That’s what he had told himself every second of this fake relationship. That’s what he had to cling to if he was gonna do this.

“Are you kidding me?” You shouted and laughed at the absurdity. “What’s not clicking?”

Peter licked his lips and looked you firmly in the eyes. He couldn’t let you tell him that you loved him. That would only make this harder. If he was going to let you go, he was going to have to do it now.

“What’s not clicking is that you’re delusional. You think you like me? You think you want nerdy friends and baking dates? You don’t.” He snapped. “You live a charmed life! You’re surrounded by people who worship you and you act like that’s a bad thing. You wanna shit on your fake friends and their fake parties, well fine.” Peter held up his hands. “But I don’t want any part of it. Because who are we fooling here, honestly? Let’s not pretend that a girl like you would ever be interested in a guy like me.”

“A girl like me?” You asked through gritted teeth. His behavior was so out of character for him that you almost didn’t believe was you were hearing. Peter could tell from the look on your face that he was hurting you, but he couldn’t let up. He had to destroy the home you built in him so you wouldn’t want to stay anymore.

“A popular girl!” He yelled in a mocking tone. “A popular, pretty girl who has no business hanging out with losers like me and Ned.”

“I like hanging out with you and Ned.” You protested.

“Why? Because you want to be different? Because you want to prove to yourself that your heart is made of gold because you fell in love with a nerd during a fake relationship” he pouted sarcastically and you started to cry again. “Guess what, Y/n? You didn’t fall in love with me. You were never going to fall in love with me.” His voice cracked and he wondered briefly who his words hurt more. “You said it yourself. You’re the deity and I’m just the hopeless loser who fell for you. What a wonderful world.”

“What happened to you? I thought you were different.” You sniffled and folded your arms. It was a miracle you hadn’t walked away yet, so Peter had to keep going.

“Well, I’m not. I’m exactly like everyone else. Did you think I was interested in you because you paint and play the guitar?” He laughed bitterly. “No. I liked you because you’re hot and popular, and I wanted to be hot and popular like you. The sooner you accept that you’ll never be more than a pretty face, you’ll find that happiness you’re so desperate to achieve. You know, the one you’ve been looking for in me? Look at yourself. You act all high and mighty, claiming that everyone wants something from you, but let’s face it, daisy. No ones ever gonna want anything more from you than a smile.”

“That’s not true.” You said weakly. Peter began to tear up at how horribly he was treating you, but he pushed through it.

“Isn’t it?” He tilted his head. “You think you’re unloveable? You know what, you probably are.”

“How could you say that to me? This isn’t you.” You spat and took a step away from you. This was a good sign for Peter. He was finally driving you away.

“This is me. This is everybody. Out here, people are gonna pick your daisies and rip the petals off while you watch. But this is what you chose, isn’t it?” He taunted. “Do you still want to join me and the rest of the island of misfit toys or do you want to go back inside and enjoy your dance with your pretty, popular friends? The choice is yours.”

You marched up to Peter and got incredibly close to his close, staring at him with clear eyes.

“The choice was mine and I picked you.” You stated. “I know this relationship started out as fake, but my feelings for you have always been real. I thought you felt the same but then I kissed you and you - - you rejected me!” Your face scrunched up in pain and Peter finally understood where you outburst came from. “I’ve been trying to act like everything’s fine for your sake when it’s not. But maybe that was a waste. Maybe you deserved to know how shitty I was feeling because you certainly didn’t hold back on me.”

You backed away from Peter and started towards the parking lot while Peter processed what you said. You had just confirmed what he never thought would be true.

You liked him.

No, you loved him.

And he had just obliterated any chance he had with you.

All your trust, feelings, and friendship was laid to waste by Peters hands.

Hearing it from you removed the cloud from his brain and he could finally see how stupid his plan was. Being mean to you to get you to leave him for Harvard might work, but it would hurt all parties in the process. You’d go back to where you started, only more broken than Peter had found you. He couldn’t let his first relationship, be it real or fake, end like this.

“Daisy.” He called as he ran after you. You turned around with a searing anger in your eyes.

“You don’t get to call me that anymore. Peter got to call me that but this”, you gestured right him weakly, “this isn’t Peter. I want no part of this.”

“Please, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” He begged for your forgiveness, which he already knew he didn’t deserve.

“No, I know what you were thinking.” You stopped him. “You were scared because this got too real for you and thought if you ruined it before it even happened, you couldn’t ruin it later when it actually mattered.”

“That’s actually better than my reasoning and now that I think about it, that was definitely a factor.” Peter realized how right you were. He knew he didn’t deserve you so he sabotaged it before it could happen.

“I was scared too, Peter. But instead of running away from the unknown, I ran towards it. I guess you just don’t have that in you.” You shrugged and he felt your words chill him to the bone.

“Wait, just let me explain-“

“I loved you.” You cut him off and the blood drained from his face. “For what it’s worth, I absolutely loved you. It was never fake for me. I’m so sick of pretending.”

And with that, you walked away.

“Y/n, wait.” He called weakly, but he knew you weren’t gonna come back. He got what he wanted. He drove you away, just like he planned. But if that was the goal, why did he feel so awful inside?

“But I was never pretending.” He mumbled.

Tag List 🏷

@a-villain-vying-for-attention @wendaiii @dorbiksbitch @t-monosapiens-h @badhollandfluff @silteplaittais-toi @thisisthebiplace @seasidecrowbar @spideygirl2003 @5-seconds-of-mendes @bitchylittleredhead @oh-whatabeautiful-parker @everydaymj @write-from-the-heart @blackpetalsmeandeath @electraheart-3174 @shawni-h @peterparkoure @sleepythighsweat @steebbb @traveleraroundsworld @averyfosterthoughts @bralessandflawless @viwihere @eridanuswave @the-greatt-perhaps​ @spidey-lillies @kelieah @danicarosaline @xroselights @xoxohollands​ @jannine00742 @itscaminow @peterisinapickle @starstruckgardenstudentzonk @danicarosaline @potter-head-phanatic @peepeeparkerr @muade-mua-de @liljennyx3

[watanabes-cum-dump]

Rating Genshin character designs pt.1

I am by no means a professional character designer, hell I’m not even a professional artist (I’m self taught) but I just really wanna do this become Genshin Impact is home to some of my favourite character designs and some that I fucking hate. So let’s get into them 

Jean

I fucking hate it

Don’t get me wrong, I love Jean, she carries my fucking team and I’ve maxed out my friendship with her. She’s a great character and has a great presence in the story, I can see why a lot of characters respect her, and I really hope to see more of her. 

But what the fuck is this design???

Basic blonde bitch face, I don’t even fucking know what’s going on with her outfit. I just really really really REALLY hate her tights. I don’t know why, but I have a vendetta against tights. Maybe it’s because I grew up in BC where girls consider tights to be fashionable, but I fucking hate tights. White tights especially since more often than not they’re transparent. 

I don’t know what it is, but I just don’t vibe with the colour scheme, ya feel me? There’s a rule with character design that I learned, which is have one main colour, and then have a secondary colour, and then have other colours that support those two colours. Jean is like... I can’t tell is her main colour is white or blue. The colour placement is sort of all over the place. 

Jean is just basic and it just doesn’t stand out when you compare her to the other characters. I just feel like she should look better than this, she’s the acting grandmaster of the knights for crying out loud, and yet she looks like a generic background character. 

She looks like Saber from the Fate series, I feel like she’s just so plain and there wasn’t really anything put into her design. Her in game model looks a bit better but it’s still kinda ‘meh.’

Like what does this outfit tell you about the character? Nothing! She doesn’t look like a powerful figure, you can’t tell she’s gentle and graceful, it doesn’t tell you that she’s a leader or tells you about how she carries herself. All her design says is “Hi I’m disposable blonde with a sword no. 235″ 

With all of the negatives, I do have to say that her design does a good job of directing you to look at her face. The colar and the way her hair frames her face is great but then again, her face isn’t much to look at. 

Kaeya

Ok, we have so much to unpack here because I LOVE Kaeya’s design

I mean look at him! Right away you can tell what he’s like! He screams shady, flirty, and eccentric! 

One qualm I do have is that he looks more like a pirate than a knight, with the fur, buckles, and details, but I guess that’s fine. At least he doesn’t look basic or forgettable. And the design is a bit confusing but even then it still tells you a lot about him. 

The colour placement is smart and he looks very cohesive and put together, nothing looks out of place. Kaeya’s tanned skin contrasts the cooler values perfectly and I’m honestly sad that we don’t get to see him too much. 

It’s really a shame Kaeya isn’t more important and that Mihoyo doesn’t promote him the way they do the other characters (Noelle, Diluc, Zhongli, Xiangling and Fischl) He’s even overlooked by the community which is kind of sad. 

Real talk though he kind of reminds me of Sinbad from Magi. Maybe not the same level of himbo energy, but the whole shady, manipulative, womanizer that pretends to be good thing is there. 

But yeah, Kaeya’s design is great and I love him so much plz give him more screen time-

Albedo 

They really did my boy dirty. Seriously, he looks so fucking fine in all of his art, but then you have his in game model and he looks all greasy and weird. Someone said that Albedo with the adult male model would have worked better and honestly I agree. 

But anyways! Let’s talk design!

Albedo’s colour scheme is simple but works well together, he very much looks like someone who works in a lab with his long white coat, but other than that he looks like a swordsman. It works really well for him since he is a captain in the knights of favonious as well as an alchemist. 

That’s all well and good, it tells you his occupation but it doesn’t really tell you about his personality. Like if I were to show you this guy without any context, you’d assume he’s kind and gentle soul. Which is kind of true (depends on who he’s interacting with) but we know Albedo to be analytical and sort of brisk and cold. Not cruel by any means, but he’s not very nice and gentle either. 

Overall very nice, I like it a lot, I really wanna have a coat like that, 7/10 solid design. 

Diluc

It’s... it’s kinda meh. Is he hot? Absolutely he’s smoldering, but I just... I don’t know. You can tell that he’s rich and all of that since he’s sort of wearing a suit, but that’s it. I also really hate that they didn’t give him coattails, I think coattails would have carried this rich untouchable vibe better. The weird fur is just kind of tacky. 

I feel like giving his outfit more red would help him immensely, I’m not digging the white, it’s just there. For no reason. I guess it helps to break up all the black, but giving him a red vest would have easily done the same thing while staying true to him. He has red on his gloves, why not put a bit more on his body?

I guess my point is more red accents would do him good. Diluc is recognizable, but it’s mostly thanks to his hair. If I gave him a different outfit with the same colours it wouldn’t really change much. He lacks things like like Kaeya’s details or Albedo’s coat that make him really memorable. You could have a character who looks different, but I think to be truly memorable it’s gotta sell the character and suit them. 

Overall, his design is sort of overrated in my opinion.

Ningguang 

Ok ok queen alert I love her so much. Ningguang doesn’t just look hot her design sells her so well I love her. 

You can tell that she’s ruch, elegant, and powerful. The white, gold and black just go so well together and the way it’s placed is just aaaaahhhhh she’s so pretty what the hell. I strive to make a character that looks this good. 

I just have no idea what’s going on with her shorts. That’s like my only complaint. Just give her regular booty shorts? Like Beidou’s? You don’t need the diamonds, if you wanted them you could make it like a pattern. 

But other than that she really looks like she rules a country. She’s just so pretty omg. 

Design aside, Ningguang deserved to be a five star, she’s so strong like there’s a guy who’s Ningguang can so 29k per crystal with her ult. Ningguang has such a strong presence within the game compared to Kequing and Ganyu who are just sort of there. Ningguang is one of the few characters who get a 10/10 in performance, design, and character wise. I love her. 

Beidou

Another queen. I am so whipped for Beidou and Ningguang guys it’s not even funny-

Anyways I love Beidou so much, I love her dress her colour scheme, she’s just so cool. The black and red is consistent and well placed unlike SOME OTHER CHARACTER. 

You can tell that she’s a pirate, that she’s a strong warrior and idk why but she just screams laid back lesbian aunt. Those are the vibes I get from her. I love her. You can’t tell in this image, but she has anchors on the back of her gloves and it’s a really nice touch that adds to her as a pirate. 

The hairstyle, her outfit, the eye patch, Beidou is just iconic and so easy to recognize. I remember not knowing anything about Genshin impact but I saw some advertisements for it and Beidou’s design really stuck with me because I recognized her when I got her. 

Another one of the few who get a 10/10 in all aspects. Love her, and I can’t wait to set sail for Inazuma with her.

[embretheworld]

I was bored so here’s some hc’s

I have a lot surprisingly so a lot of these are coming off the top of my head

-Laxus does not have good eyesight in the eye with a scar because that's where the lacrima was implanted. But he can still see out of it, it just gets blurry sometimes.

-If you had a lacrima implanted in you, there's gonna be a scar where it was implanted, and depending on what type of magic it is determine's the shape.

-Laxus's mother was born without magic and had the same thing happen to her but she was 16 when she had it implanted in her hand, she also had asked to have one and Laxus didn't.

-Laxus was born without magic thanks to his mother being born without magic too.

-When you get a lacrima implanted in you, depending on what type and how strong it is, depends on how sick you get. It's a counterbalance so people won't always get lacrima's implanted in them. The day it was implanted you get very sick as the body's reaction to an overwhelming influx of magic in your system, it happens every year in the same day it was implanted but the first time is the worst.

-"This is what I get for being emotionally slutty," Loke probably looking back on some kind of event.

-Loke with freckles!

-Loke sleeps when he's bored.

-Lucy suffers the worst writer's block ever and can't seem to ever get out of it no matter how hard she tries(I feel you girl).

-Plue really likes candy.

-Happy got Lucy a little frame that said "Life is better with cats" for her Birthday and despite how much Happy annoys her sometimes she keeps it on the desk she writes on and treasures it dearly.

-Do not let Erza play whack a mole or the games where you have to throw balls at clowns or vases you have to knock down to win a prize.

-Or let the dragon slayers play any driving game in general.

-Horror movies do not scare Aries, a lot of things do, but not horror movies.

-Mira really likes candles, but always gets them when they're on sale.

- Gray once got banned from a strip club after being mistaken for one of the strippers.

-Juvia could literally kill someone if she wanted to since our bodies are made of 60% of water but has no idea. She desires to learn more about blood magic if she so desires but hasn't.

-Levy wants to study rune magic but procrastination is her worst enemy, also people trying to attack the guild interrupting her every time she tries to cracks open a book to try and learn it. She's stopped trying to learn it in fear that if she tries someone will start attacking the guild again.

-Gajeel & Juvia and Gray & Loke are very underrated friendships that need more attention.

-Natsu chugged hot sauce and didn't even flinch. (A friend of mine did that and they scare me.)

-Lucy carries around a box of matches just in case Natsu wants a snack whenever they go on missions.( which is a lot of the time, a lot of her money has went into buying matches, she's had to go to plenty different stores to buy some because she's scared the clerk will think she's up to something and explaining it will only make her seem more suspicious.)

-Technically demon slayers are just exorcists but with more violence.

-In a human au Gray was an exorcist once.

But in normal Fairy Tail he takes side jobs on getting rid of demons from ordinary houses or other places which pays a lot.

-The wool Aries can make, can make really nice jackets. She's made jackets using it, but Loke stole it cause he likes comfy things in general.

-Loke actually needs his glasses, his glasses double as both sunglasses and normal glasses(someone I know someone who has the same type of glasses, I also wear glasses so.) due to being in Earthland too long, certain things started deteriorating like important sense's thankfully it wasn't on a major scale but on a longer one but it can't be fixed.

-Due to his eyesight deteriorating he has better hearing.

-Loke and Evergreen are nearsighted, Levy is farsighted.

-Ivan named Laxus because Laxus looked so much like his mother it only seemed fair.

-Laxus has an aunt who's his mom's sister. He talks to her through letters because she lives across the sea.

-"My little dragon," was a nickname that Laxus's mom gave him after he had gotten the dragon lacrima implanted in him against her wishes since if they were to do it, she wanted to do it when he was 16 like her but Ivan thought 8 was a much more appropriate age. (It was not). The only one who knows of this nickname for him is Makarov, his mom, his aunt, and his dad.

-His dad once used the name in a fight against him and he wanted to punch him so bad.

-If Mira were to swear she'd put sailors to shame.

-Erza has horrible road rage.

-I refuse to believe that Loke has two sets of ears, he does not have human ears and lion(cat ears?) ears at the same time just lion ears while in his celestial form and humans ones in his human form. He wears the piercing he used to wear on his human ears on his cat ears when in said celestial form, or outfit or whatever.

-The car ears(I'm calling them that now) are actual ears, you'd be surprised how many people try to pull on them in thinking that they aren't only to be pleasantly surprised that they in fact are. He likes to be pet behind them whenever they are there and he doesn't have regular human ears.

-He also despises chokers/collars with the very soul of his being. He might hiss at you if you bring one even close to him that's how much he hates them.

He doesn't even have a reason to he just hates them.

-Erza sometimes refers to her guildmates as "Feral children".

-Dragonslayers cannot whistle if their life depended on it.

-Loke knows French because most of his masters were in the French Court meaning it was mandatory for him to learn it. (I refuse to believe anyone with common sense would date him with that haircut he had in the human world, looked like something a 5-year-old would draw on a stick figure in an attempt to draw hair).

-Levy knows French, Arabic, and a few other languages.

-She fucks with people by talking to Loke in French and making them think that they're talking about that person why they aren't.

-Mira tried to learn French, she failed very badly since she kept forgetting the parts before the word and kept messing it up.

-The dragon slayers can purr when happy, growl when mad, and whimper when sad.

-The same thing applies to Loke but mostly because he's an overgrown cat.

-In order to date someone at the guild if you aren't in it you have to get Erza's blessing/asking her if it's alright since she's kinda the older sister and also the first one you wanna tell.

-Loke does not blow-dry his hair after he washes it because it just poof's up and there's no way to fix it other than to wash his hair again and look like a drowned cat for an hour or two. Though his hair is very soft after he washes it and it properly drys and isn't wet.

-Celestial spirits can dream, but their dreams consist of looking back on old memories from an outside viewpoint.

-Freed says "Let's have another round tonight" very unenthusiastically when drunk, just that sentence, no other sentence, just that one, only when he's drunk.

-Loke's good with finances along with fashion because one of his previous master, Valeria, pushed her financial work on him as a 'learning experience'.

-Loke was also offered a modeling job before and Lucy is super pissed since he of all people can get one but not her. (In the human au, he actual does modeling)

-If Mira and Loke were to team up it'd most like to be to help people in the guild get together.

-They would succeed.

-They both also like wine.

-Loke and Erza are bi, Mira is pan.

-Upon learning about this, Juvia considered Loke a love rival, be assured her that he was none and that he'd give her some advice to trying to date Gray because Gray and romance don't go well if she kept quiet about it.

-Gray ended up figuring it out and still holds it against him.

-Loke does not like being compared to a cat, he despises it so Gray as the best friend he is does exactly that.

-The two of them have blackmail on each other, and Gray often drags Loke into watching horror movies knowing he absolutely despises him with the very core of his being.

-Gajeel will fight anyone who hurts his best friend, Juvia.

Or anyone who hurts his guild but Juvia is different since she's been with him since they joined Fairy Tail.

Natsu once grabbed a pan straight out of the oven and horrified everyone in the room.

[sasa-gay-yo]

Just Us (Chapter Eleven: Break Up)

← Chapter Ten

“A little higher, yes, right there! Now to the left, put the nail right below that truss. Perfect! I’ll hand you the sign.” I reached down and picked up the newly polished piece of wood with the cafe’s name on it in a fresh coat of paint for the year-end opening. 

Flynn’s 

Jonas took it in his hands and hung it up on the new wooden post. This time, it would hang off over the street so that people could see where we were. Before, the sign was nailed next to the door and was now fading drastically. While I kept the old sign there for memories, the new sign was a fresh red color and had been sealed by the carpenter to make sure it lasted longer than the last one. It was something I had meant to do for years, but never got around to it. Now that I was just sitting and making bread for the refugees, I had time to design the shape and font I wanted. The sign was a light wooden rectangle with dark, red cursive lettering and had another small circular sign with a cup of tea attached to it, indicating we were a café. 

“It looks nice, Eva. You picked a good wood to contrast the letters,” Ben marveled up at it as Jonas came down from his ladder. Whenever I had added or changed something about the café, I asked Ben his thoughts about it, seeing he was the only one, second to me, who cared the most about it. When I went to him saying I was buying a new sign, he rejoiced. 

Jonas shoved his hands in his pockets and looked up at it too. He couldn’t grasp why this was such a monumental change to Ben and I who had to fight Mr. Flynn to even make a sign in the first place. There weren’t many visitors to Trost when he had built the café, but when we came along, things were changing and he hated it. The first time Catrin gave out fresh squeezed juice, he grumbled about it for weeks saying a café should just have bread and coffee. It was funny, but if we left Mr. Flynn alone with his precious café, he would have ran it into the ground.

“You think he hates it?” I looked up to Ben and he nodded and mirrored Jonas’s stance. There was almost some undertone of weirdness being friends with Jonas because when he hit puberty, he morphed into a younger version of Ben. It was also a bit awkward that the mirror image of my brother still had feelings for me. Maybe that was one of the reasons I didn’t see Jonas as someone other than my best friend or another brother. They looked too similar.

“Most definitely. The old man is rolling in his grave right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if a strong winter wind knocked it down.” We stood there for a few, marveling at the sign as the sun went down. Jonas was the first one to whine it was too cold and we took that as a sign to go back into the café. I still had to clean up and get ready for opening tomorrow. Ben and Jonas had promised to help me run the café tomorrow to hold off the rush of people coming. 

When I took out an add in the paper to announce my holiday hours, people had flocked to my door, there to confirm if the newspaper was right. When I told them I was, in fact, opening back for year-end only, people were already trying to put in orders. I think the people of Trost wanted normal back, and my café would give them some of it. 

“So the Garrison just dropped you like that? Without any warning?” Jonas swept some dirt into the dust pan. 

“It wasn’t like, out of the blue. I knew it was coming. They have nothing to give me for pay and I demanded pay. I would have done it for a few more weeks as well, just for the refugee’s sake, but with the allotted flour for year-end, I just couldn’t continue without them giving me their stores. I wish they did it a little after year-end though so I could have brought pastries to the refugees. Maybe next year will be a better harvest.” Ben looked up from the book he was reading and moved his feet so Jonas could sweep under them. Jonas mumbled something under his breath about his father not doing anything, but he left it unnoticed. 

“Could you just show up with some things? Maybe you could make enough to give the children?” Ben had also worked closely with the refugees, trying to help outsource jobs and employment opportunities for them when people still trusted them. By now, no one would take in refugees for work. 

“No, they aren’t letting any outsiders into the stockyards now. That might be another reason I can’t make bread anymore. I have no idea why they’re doing that, and I hope it’s not another isolation policy because Trost citizens are complaining again. I even asked a person in the Garrison who likes me, and he said he couldn’t say.” Jonas, again, grumbled something under his breath, probably about the refugees, and I threw a rag at his head. 

“Hey!” 

“You are almost thirty years old and have no regard for other human lives. Tch!” He threw the rag back at me a little harder and glared. Ben just looked on, smirking at the two kids he was used to bickering back and forth. Ben had said the first day he introduced Jonas to me, he knew we’d be best friends and perfect enemies.

“Well, we always seem to forget that two refugees attacked you and that our food supply is little to none because we have to give half of it to them. It’s not just Trost either, Aunt Catrin told us that Stohess is also struggling with the weight of a whole district. We’ll be starved by next spring, the titans won’t even want to eat us!” I put down my rag and just sighed, glaring at him as he swept quickly, wanting to get out of the café. Jonas had broken up with his third girlfriend of the year and he wasn’t in the mood to have a heated argument session with the girl that was still pushing him away. That was the reason she had broken up with him: he still had feelings for me. I was afraid to bring up Levi to him because of this, but I wanted to tell him. Everyday, I would get more and more uncomfortable lying to him.

“I’m sure the titans don’t want to eat you anyways, Jonas.” He stopped sweeping, glaring at the ground. Uh oh. 

“I guess no one wants me then.” It was Ben’s turn to widen his eyes at his son’s sadness. He had spent a few minutes lecturing Jonas about how long it took Ben to find Analee, but it didn’t help soothe his sadness. In all honesty, Analee was Ben’s first girlfriend and he got her pregnant before they were even married and both eighteen. He wasn’t the right person to give his son advice and neither was I. We both agreed to just forget Jonas said that and move on with whatever we were doing. 

“Well, you two, I’m going to get back home. Your sister was adamant I help her build that new desk before tomorrow. I’ll be here tomorrow at opening, Eva, like old times. Don’t come back late Jonas, or you’ll wake up your mother.” I smiled up him, casting away the mood Jonas put me in, and waved to my brother. Ben and I were the closest, probably because of our locations too, and I always felt calm when he was around me. He was the most like Mr. Flynn. Jonas was such the opposite, and I’d always wondered how Ben had made him.

When he left and the bell stopped ringing above the door, Jonas and I just let the silence consume us. At this point, he wasn’t even sweeping up dirt, but he didn’t want to talk to me in the bad mood he was in. Did she really have to break up with him when I was about to spend every day of the next week with him? It had nothing to do with his feelings for me, but everything to do with the awful mood he’d be in. Last break up, I had to pull him from the bar at least three times, waste a pale of water to sober him up, and he fell asleep completely on top of me, cutting off my breathing. I had told Levi about this and he threatened to break off his fingers in letter form, even if it was back when we were eighteen. Levi gave Jonas no chances.

“How many people do you think will be here tomorrow?” He broke the silence first and I was glad he’d changed the subject. I could talk to a regulars Jonas.

“I couldn’t say. I’ve had at least thirty come to the café in the past week asking. I don’t think there will be a lot of people at the tables, but most will be coming in and out.” He nodded and set the broom down, sitting with it. He’d probably swept the floors twice, but I guess the extra cleaning won’t hurt. 

“My dad’s been on my ass about learning how to work at the café. Something about character building…” Sounds like Ben. Well, sounds like Mr. Flynn, but same person. 

“I wouldn’t mind the extra help. Elias can’t really count money reliably enough to let me bake while he runs orders. I let him just take things in and out of the oven and to customers. Sometimes, I’ll even let him use the mixer. Elias is getting that vital character development. I’ve also thought about giving him this job when he gets old enough so he doesn’t have to work under his father.” I jumped back up on the counter and forgot I had just cleaned it. I’ll do it more tomorrow. 

“I hated this place as a kid. Grandpa always forced us to clean if we were staying with him and Duran tried to always beat me up for no reason. When I was old enough to get my own job, I was ready to leave it behind. Funny to think the kid likes it here. I guess since you’re basically his older sister, it’s probably a you and dad situation.” Jonas and his younger sister were forced to come help at the café since Mr. Flynn was getting older. Duran would always run off somewhere and I stayed and baked, so Mr. Flynn needed some others to do the dishes and lift heavy boxes. Jonas stayed because I stayed. The café work at least helped Jonas prepare for delivery work at Reeve’s. 

“I loved this place, still do, but you know that already. It wouldn’t be mine if I didn’t like it.” He rolled his eyes, knowing how much I stupidly fell in love with the bakery at one point. It was during secondary school when Mr. Flynn’s lessons of life actually go through to me. I was finally getting out of the Underground depression and having a purpose fueled me. The bakery was something I did every day, almost every hour, and sometimes neglected my school work to do it. I had finally found something that was mine and I wasn’t going to let any amount of slacking take it away from me. 

“Do you think you’ll stay here forever? I mean, like Grandpa did. Pass it on to your kids and what not.” I nodded, looking out at the hanging sign in a crack of the front window blind. 

“There’s nowhere else I want to really go. I have everything I need here in Trost and I can go visit the other districts when I want. Plus, we’ve already lost four places I can go, so it’s slim pickings for retail locations. If I somehow don’t end up having kids and Elias takes my offer, I’ll give it to him probably. ” He hummed in agreement and leaned back in his chair, tilting the front legs of the floor. This reminded me of when we were in school and Mr. Flynn would make us close up for him when he wanted to sleep early. We’d clean and then sit here talking for hours about anything. I’d force Jonas to help me with math homework and sometimes pay him to do it. After Jonas got a job, it would be just me closing. It’s been a long time since this ex-tradition has occurred, so it was mildly comforting. We sat like that for a while, just staring somewhere in the café, probably thinking about when we were young.

Mr. Flynn acted like he hated us, but I knew a day never went by when he didn’t smile down at us and was thankful we were there. Jonas, Duran, and I were a lot to handle sometimes, but it was just the joys of youth. I would pay to go back them, too. Just to be able to tell myself that I needed to remember times like this, because when I was older, it would all change. I would be alone in the café.

“You know, Dad wants us to get together. He said it’s the thing that makes the most sense.” I sighed. There goes the comforting feeling that we’d just developed. Goddamn it, if he didn’t have to mention that, I would have had a great night, even a drink or two to celebrate opening. Now, his attitude changed and he suddenly wanted to talk about feelings. Didn’t you just get broken up with?

Ben had even taken me aside after Wall Maria fell and mentioned to me what he thought was right. Humanity’s time seemed to be fleeting and it wouldn’t be fun to die without a family. I fended him off, not telling him that I was not alone and very much in a relationship, but he would still leave hints here and there. Today was one of those days talking about keeping the café in the family and remembering the times when little kids ran around the tables. He’d even start telling us stories of how him and Analee would take care of the café as it’s first employees and how they fell in love. He was hoping the same thing would happen to Jonas, and that’s why he was forcing him to work here now. That was probably the only thing Ben and Jonas agreed on. 

“He’s mentioned it to me a few times. I’ve always told him no, but I guess when he gets his mind set on something you can’t tell him to lay off of it.” I looked warily at Jonas, trying to gage where this conversation was going. Why does it always have to be around year-end when he tries to pull all of this stuff? Wasn’t he just crying about his girlfriend breaking up with him yesterday? Now he’s talking about how bad Ben wants us to get married? 

“You know what I think about it. If you gave me a chance then may-” I cut him off before he could dig himself into a deeper hole. How could I tell him he wasn’t the one for me without telling him about Levi? While Levi and I weren’t nearly as serious as our time together would allow, his letters have shown me no reason to think we’d be ending our relationship soon. I was busy with bread and the café, he was busy with training, and at the end of the day we would sit down and write letters to each other, looking out at the same moon over Trost. It wasn’t the best situation, but it wasn’t one that was so hard I’d give into Jonas’s easy way. 

“Jonas, you also know my opinion. You’re like my brother or my cousin. We were raised together and you look almost exactly like Ben. I don’t need to keep listing out reasons to hurt your feelings more.” He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. 

“I know, but it’s just… Actually, I don’t know what it is. Never being able to advance your relationship with someone you have feelings for? Always getting into relationships you know will end because you don’t really like the girl? Maybe, I’m just tired of doing that.” 

“You’ll find someone, Jonas. You just aren’t looking in the right places. What was the girl’s name? Nana? Nora? Whatever it was she was annoying and self-centered.” I laid back on the counter looking up at the ceiling. I wasn’t going to be able to cheer him up like this forever because it’s always at the expense of me not liking him. He makes me feel like all of these breakups are my fault.

“She wasn’t you.” There it is. The direction we were going to. 

“You need to stop thinking about me, Jonas. What do you need me to say or do so that you move on from me?” I put my arm over my eyes, trying to stop the headache that I knew was about to come soon. I guess he was holding this in for a few months since he was dating that girl. It started with an N, I know that for a fact.

“No clue, Ev, but when I find it, I’ll tell you. If knowing that you’re in love with the Captain of the Scouts doesn’t deter me, I don’t know what will.” My eyes snapped open. 

“If knowing what?!” What the hell does he know? There’s a very serious possibility that he was sneaking around and found the letters in my desk. Maybe he saw Erwin’s letter carrier handing me the envelope? It didn’t make sense that he would know from Levi and I’s actions because he was pretty cold to me when Jonas was around. We’d taken most of the precautions we needed to. It had to just be his hunch… but his hunch was right. 

“I heard you that one night when he was bandaging you. There was just… something didn’t sit right with me when I was leaving. I sat there outside of the café listening to you two for what felt like hours. That confirmed it for me, but I still can’t believe it until it comes out of your own mouth. I guess I’m not good enough for you, Eva, but how could you fall for a Scout? I didn’t think you were that stupid.” The anger enveloped me as he said that, but I knew what he was saying was from deep down inside. If he knew this long, his heart beat with anger at every and any mention of the Scouts. His unexplained hatred for their presence in the last few months now made sense. Every time he saw a Scout he was reminded that even though they die young, are never around, and go on suicide missions, I’d rather pick that over him.

Laying there on that counter with Jonas’s eyes on me… it made me uncomfortable. Every layer of privacy and secrecy was shed in front of him now knowing that he knew for that long. That means he must have noticed the letters. Noticed how I always cleaned Levi’s table twice and had peppermint tea stocked even when the café was closed. He might have even heard me crying at night over how much I just wanted to see Levi again when he’d crashed on my couch… and every time I did that, he wanted it to be him. 

I couldn’t deny our relationship and try to make him feel better about himself. He knew and had heard everything we had said to each other that night. I’d have to face this feeling head on and I didn’t want to. I just didn’t want to tell Jonas that it will never be him. It was better to have him in limbo and still have my friend then to break his heart completely and never see him again. Jonas was my first friend and is my best friend. He was there the first day I was above ground. He was there for me when Samias broke my heart. He knows almost everything about me, but here I was about to lose him over something I couldn’t control. I wasn’t going to give up Levi so that Jonas would feel better. 

That probably hurt him even more though; me lying to him about Levi. 

“How much are you going to hate me after I tell you everything?” I was hesitant to tell him anything. I know deep down he wanted to know all about Levi and I. He wanted to see where his shortcomings were and judge Levi’s actions and intent. He wanted to be able to reach deep down and find some string of hope in one of Levi’s downfalls. However, this emotion he’s had was pent up for months.

“I’m never going to hate you, Ev. That’s the problem.” I let the tears fall then and curled up into a ball on the counter top. This wasn’t the Jonas I liked talking to. This was the Jonas that made you feel every emotion he was going through too so that you gave him pity. You wanted to love Jonas because you didn’t want to see your best friend hurting like this. It was my fault that he was hurting and I couldn’t fix it. I couldn’t do what he wanted me to.

I knew he was in pain when he didn’t move to comfort me like he usually does. Whenever I would cry, he would always be next to me, a soothing hand on my back. I would never shy away from it before, but looking at the situation now, I wish I would have created that distance. It was good that he didn’t do that because it would have made the situation worse. We just sat there and I tried to mute my cries with my arm. It wasn’t working. 

“One day he’s going to die, Eva. If he doesn’t leave you before that.” Now he was trying to hurt me directly. Maybe he thought if he broke me enough, I’d go to him and not Levi. 

I didn’t answer him as I was too busy choking on my tears. 

“He won’t marry you. He won’t give you kids. He can’t give you anything you want in the future if he knows someday he won’t have one.” I wanted to beg him to stop. He doesn’t think at night, when all I have are the thoughts to pull me out of loneliness, I don’t think about all of this? Will I be happy with just Levi or will I want more and he can’t provide that? Can I not be up to his standards? After Hange mentioned kids, I thought about how horrible it would be for them to live in a world like this. We’re fighting to stay alive and to eat, and their father would be gone for months on end. I didn’t want to think about the future and Jonas was forcing me to. All the negative emotions I tried to push back in these past months were coming to the surface with every word. 

“Does he really like you or are you there just to fulfill his fantasy of a relationship? What man leaves the woman he loves alone for six months?” I clenched my jaw hard. His words started to stab too deep.

“Shut up.” It was soft and muffled by the sounds of my tears, but he heard it. He was waiting for my response. He wanted to see if I agreed or not; to see if he broke me enough. 

“Eva, I know you know what I’m saying is the truth.  It’s best to stop this game of pretend before it’s too late.” 

Pretend. 

I pull my hands into fists and shot up on the counter. I was angry again now. He didn’t get to call my relationship a game. Whatever feelings of loneliness or sadness that Jonas wanted to make me feel had left instantly as he mentioned playing pretend. 

“You are the one who’s playing pretend! Pretending that I’ll come around and pick you. Jonas, if I wanted you, it wouldn’t have taken over ten years to realize it!” This time his face contorted into some type of negative emotion. His plan didn’t work. I didn’t cave like I normally do. 

“You’re pressuring me into something that I don’t want to do all because you don’t like that Levi makes you feel inferior. He’s stronger, smarter, and now he’s taken your girl from you. You know why? Look at this,” I gestured to him with both of my hands, “Levi has never talked to me at me like this. He would never call me stupid or try and insult me enough to change my mind. You’re right, I haven’t seen him for six months, but in that time he’s written more sincere words than you have ever said to me. I don’t care what Levi does and doesn’t give me, and I know you won’t be able to give me what I want either. Not like this!” I threw my left hand to my side and took the silence to catch my breath. 

“Eva.” It was angry and heavy. He wasn’t ready for me to come back at him like that. He never thought I could talk to him like he talks to me. 

“I have supported you through everything you have done. The countless girlfriends, the times when you were kicked out of your house, when you didn’t have a job; I was the one who comforted you and took you in. Now, I make a decision that hurts your feelings and you can’t live with it? You have to degrade me for who I choose to date, only because it’s not you?!” He stood up too, the chair flying back and hitting the floor. He stood almost a foot above me, but I wasn't backing down. 

“You will never understa-” 

“You’re right, Jonas. I will never love you the way that you love me, and I will never understand how you treat someone you love like this.”

It was tonight. I had always thought about when this would end. When Jonas and I would stop playing pretend. When I would stop pretending not to see how he looks at me across the café. When I would stop pretending that my best friend didn’t only have feelings for me and wouldn’t choose anyone else. When I would stop pretending I didn’t have to hurt him like this one day. Tonight was the night this friendship ended because he couldn’t pretend we were just friends anymore. 

“How long have you been with him?” The air had quieted and so did his voice. His face was now a mixture of anger and sadness, and he turned his eyes to look at the ground. I didn’t know what he wanted me to say when answering the question, but I was done hiding it from him. Even if it hurt him, he had to know. He had to stop playing pretend and be snapped into the reality he lived in. 

“Around Spring Equinox till now.” His fist clenched harder. 

“So you missed Spring Equinox with us to be with him?” I thought about this moment the day I didn’t show up. He never asked me where I was when he saw me and he must have assumed I just didn’t want to go out then. I’d even told Levi that I was going to be in a weird situation if Jonas asked me where I was and he helped me make a plan. A plan to lie to him. I guess that plan just flew out the window. 

“He was injured and I was taking care of him. I wasn’t going to leave him,” I let the last line out, underlaid with some remorse. I was angry with what he was saying and how he was coming at me, but I was at fault too. I should have told him sooner or at least tried to distance myself. 

“I don’t think I’m going to be in tomorrow, Eva.” He said, still not looking up at me. This was the softest he had even been. I think now he knew he couldn’t sway me towards him. He was giving up.

“Jonas-”

“No,” he held his hand up, finally looking at me with the faint gleam of tears in his eyes, “I’m going to be sick tomorrow and maybe the next day. So, don’t come looking for me.” He turned his back and I had to stop my hand from reaching out and touching his shoulder. I was angry at him, but unlike him I didn’t see this as a reason to end our friendship. It was coming, yes, but it didn’t have to end here. We’d change something. We’d adapt. He was acting like he’d completely given up that. 

“Jonas, you’re still my best friend.” He stopped at the door and straightened up. He was stiff and lifeless when he answered. It was fake and he was hiding his true emotion. If he turned around, what expression would I see on his face? 

“I know.” 

The door opened and closed, the bells ringing twice above it. With the windows closed, I couldn’t see if we walked away and I didn’t go up to the door in fear of him just sitting on the stoop. I didn’t want to hear his tears. Jonas rarely cried and I didn’t want to know that I was the person who did it to him. 

I turned to look at the clock at the back wall. It was nearly one. 

Anger. At him. At myself. Sadness. For him. For losing my best friend in some shape or form. Regret. For not telling him any sooner. But, if I told him, wouldn’t the situation still end up like this? He would yell at me, I would cry, and he would tell me how irrational it was to love someone like Levi. A fantasy he called it. It set the seed of doubt in my head. Levi hadn’t loved or liked before as far as I knew, not to the capacity we’ve set up. Was he really just using this as a test run? 

I put my towel down on the table and decided I didn’t want to be in the café anymore. I wanted to be in my bed, two blankets over me, thinking over and over again the conversation I had with Jonas. Where did I go wrong? When? I wouldn’t sleep tonight and I would be sluggish in the morning when Ben came. Ben was smart, too. He would probably connect the dots between Jonas’s absence and my attitude, but at least he never questioned. 

Walking up the back stairs, I tried to listen to see if Jonas was still there. Maybe something would pull me to go back to him and try to talk it out. I don’t think this issue can be talked over though. It was going to be the way it was. As of now, it was Levi and I, not Jonas and I. It would take Jonas months to turn around or feel like talking to me. It may not go back to normal. 

That thought stopped me on the last wooden step. What would I do if Jonas and I never went back to normal? He was a big part of my day and of my life. Every holiday, every arithmetic question I couldn’t answer, every broken heart; I was with him. It made so much sense to be with him permanently, but that’s not how life wanted it to be. If I was to be with Jonas, I was sure, it would have happened already. I would have feelings for him to the same degree he has for me. 

Maybe we shouldn’t go back to normal as that normal was fake. Pretend. Would it hurt Jonas more to act that way, knowing that Levi was one step ahead of him in every regard? Or, would it be better for him to keep distance and ignore me so he won’t have to deal with the pain he feels every time he’s around me now?

I shook my head and walked in. This was for me to think about, slightly drunk, and in two hours. 

“Here, for you.” Levi handed me a single flower as we sat in the meadow. He had found it on the ground next to where we were sitting and I laughed a little at the gesture before putting it on my ear. He looked at it too and smiled faintly, going back to look at the Scout HQ that was quite a distance away. No one would see us on our way back to Trost. 

I told Levi that I wanted to stop and sit since it was such a nice day. The spring was bringing warm winds to our area, and the whole time I had been with him we were inside his dimly lit office. We were far away enough from Trost and the HQ to be alone and outside. I thought of Jonas and the Equinox today. Where would he be sitting out here? 

“Thank you, Captain.” He laid back, still wincing a little at the pain in his ribs. The horse ride was a bit too much for him to handle, and we had to walk our horses out here to the open meadow. No doubt he would bear the pain to get me to the gates of Trost before we parted. Maybe I would convince him to walk so we had more time together. 

“After this expedition, I would like to start.” I looked over to him, putting a piece of the Scout’s cracker ration in my mouth. Did he have some hobby? 

“Start what?”

“Trying to be yours. I have no experience being in a relationship with someone, therefore, when I can give you my full attention, I will do that. I’ve never made you food. I will do that first.” It made my heart strangely warm, him always announcing his intentions. Maybe he felt that they needed to be approved. He was so apprehensive about anything, and he was not used to being wrong. In this uncharted territory, he needed to make sure he was right before he executed anything. So, I nodded. 

“I’m not picky when it comes to food.” Once he got his confirmation, he went to stand up. I just looked up at him as he did it. 

“Yes?” He put out his hand for me to take it. I just stared up at him again, smiling. I’d tease him a bit more because he was leaving soon. 

“So does that mean we’re really dating?” He rolled his eyes and his hand dropped. The nice gesture went away. 

“Did I not make it clear before? I said I required monogamy.” I shook my head, no.

“You have to ask me. You can’t just command me into a relationship with you.” He cocked up an eyebrow. 

“Ask? Why do I need to ask you when you already know?” I rolled my eyes at him and took another bite of the cracker. 

“We aren’t dating until you ask me to be your girlfriend.” He scoffed. 

“Girlfriend is a word for teenagers. We are almost thirty.” 

“Ask me.” 

“No.” 

“You have to.”

“No, I don’t.” I huffed and turned my head to the other side, faking anger. I knew he probably wasn’t going to do it anyways, and I didn’t really care, but it would be fun to hear. 

“Ask me or I’ll just sit here all day,” I said, folding my arms. There was no protest, or huff of annoyance. He was probably standing there with the same pose I had, just waiting for me to get this idea out of my head.

Huff. Huff. Huff. 

“Don’t tell me you-” I turned and screamed, scrambling to get away from what was to my right. It stood there, his body broken in it’s mouth. His eyes were stained with blood, and were looking at me, begging me to do something, anything. 

The titan crunched down once more on Levi’s body, and only a puff of air came out of his mouth. Not a cry for help. His body went limp, eyes wide staring into my soul. 

Help. Help. Help. 

I shot up, holding my head. My body was shaking and I was afraid to open my eyes. The bustle of customers could be heard below and I knew I had fallen asleep late in the morning and overslept till now. Ben would be holding the customers down fine, and I needed the extra minutes to calm myself down. 

Was that dream an omen? Was he dead? 

It left a bad taste in my mouth that I couldn’t shake, so I got up to get water. I needed to get this taste out of my mouth. Once I drank the water, I leaned over the sink and it came right back up. The shaking of my body stopped after I’d thrown up, but the feeling in my stomach was still there. Maybe I was just hungover. I had a whole bottle of wine while thinking my life away last night. Usually I was fine, but the emotions tied to the amount of alcohol I had could be making my stomach twist and turn. 

Setting the cup down, I quickly went to put on clothes and try to put something on my face to cover the dark circles. The clock was at ten, and I knew that soon Ben would hear my footsteps upstairs using his years of training his ears to identify the creaks of this building and yell up at me to come down. If Jonas really wasn’t here, he was having to remember how to make various coffee drinks himself. 

One day he’s going to die, Eva.

I help my stomach again, trying to position myself over the bathroom sink and not get the face powder all over the floor. When nothing came up, I tried to push that thought out of my mind and finish covering the dark circles under my eyes. To a trained eye, aka Ben, you could easily see through the layer of powder. Hopefully, it will last all work day so I won’t get comments on my tiredness. Those were my least favorite. 

“Eva!” It was muffled by the floorboards, but with one quick look in the mirror, I went to walk to the door. 

Does he really like you or are you there just to fulfill his fantasy of a relationship? 

Stopping on the stairs, I leaned over the railing, hoping that if I did vomit again, it would be away from a window so the customers didn’t notice a projectile falling from the sky. I’d have to get another drink of water before I started or else this hangover was going to kill me. 

I pushed the back door open, taking a look at the plastic one that separated me from the café. People were in there, sitting, talking, and buying pastries. I could hear them and it scared me. My first day open, and I’m in this condition? That wasn’t going to be the best look for business. I was also scared because this was the first customer rush I had in months. It was like my first day running the shop all over again. 

This time my stomach bubbled up with nerves and before I could turn back outside, Ben opened the door peeking in at me. He definitely saw the condition I was in, and had to take a double take. Now, the dots started to connect in his head. Did Jonas look like this to when Ben tried to wake him up only to discover he was “sick”? 

“There’s a line of people out here waiting to be served and to talk to you. I suggest you hurry out, yeah?” I just stared at him and nodded once, tying the matching apron around my middle. 

“Yeah.” Even my voice was shaking. He closed the door again and I picked up a random cup, filling it with water from the sink, and downing it in a few seconds. I coughed once, hoping it would help my throat, and despite my stomach, I walked out into the main café. 

“Eva!” 

“Miss Eva, it’s been so long!” The crowd of people at the counter greeted with smiles, and I did my best to give one back. It was comforting, their words, but my stomach still felt like shit. So did my head. And my arms. And legs. Either way, I willed myself to the crowd that was blocking my view into the café. Ben had done a good job curbing them because he didn’t know how to make a latte. 

“It’s a good thing you’re here, Eva. Ben’s a little rusty.” I smiled to the man who’s order I had memorized, but not his name, and took the personal cup he had in his hands. Ben tended the money while I turned my back to make the drinks. 

“I’ll pass, you make, pass back?” I turned over my shoulder to nod at him and this new angle made me catch a view of the table. The Wings of Freedom were draped over the chair and he was leaning back with the new addition of a book in his hand. There was no cup in front of him, nor was he staring out at the window anymore. 

Six months. 

My stomach churned again and before I could answer Ben, I had to run into the back, past the plastic door, open the regular door, and throw up in front of the trash can where the stray dogs like to eat our scraps.

I’d have to pass it off and I took another big gulp of water before picking up some random milk jug to bring it up. I hoped I didn’t wipe off the face powder that took ten minutes to apply. When I walked back in, people seemed shocked I had run so fast into the back, but once they saw the milk jug, they settled back down. Ben didn’t let it get past him that I’d set the new milk jug next to a completely full one on the table and went to work. 

We went back and forth for what felt like hours. He’d collect the money, write the order on a piece of paper, I’d make it, and he’d go set it down on their table or give it for them to go. We didn’t talk at all while I did it, and I only engaged with other customers. When I looked at him, he never looked back, just down at the book. When I looked at him… my stomach churned, but with a different feeling now that I was pretty sure all the alcohol was in my sink or by the trash in the back. I wanted him to look at me, or to come hug me, but he was Captain Levi right now. 

My dream. What was my dream about? He was here and he was alive, so it couldn’t have been an omen. Was it triggered by my fight with Jonas? Levi dying? It was a simple memory, but it had morphed into something graphic and depressing. He’d asked me to be his girlfriend, reluctantly, but why didn’t my dream get to that part? Why did it cut it off there? I just tried to mock it up as another drunken dream, ones I used to have often, and maybe a few times in the past months, but something wouldn’t let me mark it as that. 

“Eva!” I turned at the little boy’s call and saw all three of them at the counter. I was zoning out so much. Elias, June, and their father were there and I smiled at them, starting their orders. Elias and June: steamed apple juice. Their father: a cup of coffee, no cream, two sugars. 

“Where’s the boy? I thought Jonas said he was working today.” I froze up at their father’s question and I saw Ben glance back at me before answering.

“He felt really sick this morning and could barely get out of bed when I tried to wake him up. He slept at our house last night and came back really late, so he might have been out and drank himself sick,” he tsk-ed his son, but I knew that his message was really meant for me, “Dark circles, a bad attitude, and his face was all red. I’m glad he didn’t show up today.” I turned to them, handing the two steamed apple juices. Before I could turn back around, they started a conversation with me. I could barely focus on it with Ben’s gaze boring holes into me. 

“Eva, Mr. Chapel said I could start on my own books now! Isn’t that exciting?!” I smiled down at her and nodded. In the place in my brain that could still process a little emotion this afternoon, I was happy for her. 

“That’s amazing, June. I have some books upstairs that need to be rebound.” Ben had given their father his coffee and he was now pulling the kids to go. He probably had some cult stuff to do and just wanted to stop by for his morning cup like he normally does.

“Eva, do you need help on year-end? Like last year? With Jonas?” Elias’s face begged up at me to say yes. He wanted to know if we would do something like last year. With no festival, it would be hard to entertain them… and with no Jonas… 

“I don’t know about it his year, Elias.” His face dropped and he was pulled away by his father before he could ask why. I saw June looking disappointed as well as they walked out the door. When Ben turned to greet the next customer, I felt another pair of eyes on me. I looked up at him and felt my heart flip as we locked eyes. His were filled with concern and I knew he’d heard the exchange Elias and I just had. I had always taken the kids in for year-end, so why not now? 

The day went like that. My stomach never settled down, and I could barely keep up the energy of the people coming in and out to talk. Ben would mostly fill that job, but whenever the customer wanted to talk to me directly, I stared at the back wall, mustering a smile, and turned to act. I was glad that I’d decided to close earlier than usual so I wouldn’t have to go through a dinner rush either. My mind was tired from thinking over and over again about last night and the dream I had, that I could barely handle any more stimulus. 

Levi had sat there all day, reading through the book at least twice. I could feel his eyes on me throughout the day, but if I looked back into his eyes, my dream would play over again and my stomach would fight with me. He must have noticed, but he never approached me. Ben and the wave of people coming in and out must have stopped him, or he was waiting for me to go over and serve him tea. It was sitting right on top of the coffee filter box, ready to be made, but I could never pull myself to do it. I wanted to go over and talk to him, but with the amount of people here, I would be talking to Captain Levi. I decided to wait until close, knowing he would stay, so I could talk to the real him after months of waiting. The dream made my stomach feel awful, but the idea of having Levi back to me again made the butterflies stir too. 

“Alright, what’s up with the two of you?” Ben put the small bag of flour back up on the stock rack as I mopped the flour on the back room’s floor. It was closing, and I insisted that he could leave the cleaning to me, but I knew from the second I walked in to the café, he was ready to corner me and ask questions. I still feigned innocence.

“Two of whom?” He huffed and wiped off excess flour on the apron I left him. It didn’t help my case that I couldn’t look him in the eyes when I answered. I didn’t want to stare into Jonas’s eyes. 

“Jonas comes to our house drunk, red face, and mumbling things under his breath. He almost broke Analee’s favorite vase trying to take his shoes off. I thought it was a bit weird because he’d have to come back from your place, but maybe you two decided to do something. I didn’t care. Then, I drag his dead body weight onto the couch and he tells me he can’t come to the café tomorrow and starts crying. I mark it up to him being drunk off his ass. Come today, and you’re not up early like you usually are. I guess I thought you’d be as drunk as Jonas, and gave you a few hours. You come down here, looking pale as a ghost, go throw up outside by the trash can,” He pointed his thumb to the back door, “and anytime someone mentions Jonas, your face goes pale over and over again. You probably drank at least thirty glasses of water today… I really don't want you to answer this question, but I have to ask it. He’s my son, sure, but you’re also my little sister… also weird to say, but you know what I’m trying to get to…” Ben didn’t want to have to finish his statement and trailed off, trying to get me to fill in the blank. Did he think we… ? I pulled my face into a look of disgust, but still didn’t look at his face. 

“Are you trying to ask if he and I had-” He frantically waved his hands at me.

“Please, please, please. Spare me. I realized I don’t want the answer to that question anymore right as it came out of you mou-” I stopped him there. 

“We fought. That’s what happened.” He dropped his hands and let out a big sigh of relief. He was happy we only fought, because he could deal with that. He’d been dealing with that for years already. Mediator Ben was about to come out. 

“Thank gods. What did you fight about this time? Both of you look very upset.” He leaned against a random table, and I had stopped sweeping at this point. I didn’t want to tell Ben, but there was just something about him that made the words flow out. He’s always been like that, regardless of the situation. Comfortable to talk to about any and everything. When I first got my monthly cycle, I went to him and not Catrin, who was the obvious choice. Then later in life, Jonas started to take the same position in my life that Ben had. That made me feel worse again, losing him over something I had to be selfish with. If Jonas felt he couldn’t let go of whatever it was, I would permanently lose him. 

“I think this is the final time, Ben.” He sighed, probably not knowing what that meant. If I told him what the fight was really about, he would have to learn about Levi and I. I shifted my gaze to the plastic door separating us from the main café. Was he still sitting in his chair, waiting for us to kick him out? Waiting for me to lead him up the stairs to my apartment? 

“Did he bring up marriage again? When we were walking to meet up with you, I had mentioned something about it and he seemed to get quiet. Usually, he denies anything like that would happen.” So it was mentioned previously, that’s why it was on his mind. When Ben mentioned it to him, did his mind go to Levi and I?

“Yes,” I whispered, and set the mop against the wall. I was ready to spill all of my feelings to Ben like I always do. 

“Then, is it that man out there?” He pointed at the door and this time I looked him in the eyes. It was like admitting everything to Jonas all over again and it made my stomach twist and turn. I knew Ben’s opinions on the matter, too, so it was worse having to go against his wishes. 

“Yes,” I whispered again, waiting to see a streak of disappointment in his eyes that never came. He just sighed again and walked over to me, putting a hand on my back. 

“He was the first customer today and seemed annoyed that I was standing there instead of you. I was the one who gave him the book. I told him he’d have to wait a few hours to see you, and then another few to get to talk to you after lunch. I’m not going to pretend I didn’t see the way he kept looking at you either.” I clasped my hands together, looking at them. It made me a little less sad that he could see Levi’s emotions as well. Ben didn’t think it was fake like Jonas did. 

“I had a bad dream last night, too… and a few too many drinks. I’m just so… I don’t want to lose Jonas. This felt like it was it, Ben.” I put a hand over my heart and rubbed my collar bone with one finger. Ben shook his head ‘no’ and patted my back. 

“The kid can be moody, but he’ll come around. It may take him a bit longer than usual, but you two are best friends. He’ll just have to deal with the fact that it’s going to really stay like that now. I guess I didn’t help either, talking about you two the way I did.” I shook my head, making sure Ben didn’t take the blame away from me. 

“No, I did this. I didn’t tell him about… I didn’t distance myself from him and-” 

“Do you really think that if you tried to distance yourself from Jo, it would’ve worked? He once came home from secondary begging me to ask the teacher to transfer him to your class. He can’t be away from you for too long, no matter what emotions he has tied to it.” I laughed once at that comment, remembering the day Jonas randomly showed up at a desk next to mine. I reached up to wipe a tear off of my cheek. 

“I still feel awful. It’s my fault I made him feel like this.” Ben rolled his eyes. 

“I’m going to go home and he’s going to have this same conversation with me. You both fight like cats and dogs, and then feel bad that you said anything in the first place. He could have broken your arm and you’d still feel like it was your fault.”

“Yeah.” Ben did make me feel a little better, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling of regret. We sat for a few more minutes as I calmed down and my stomach hurt a little less. 

“Now, that boy out there. He’s the Captain of the Scouts, but I have to threaten him. I know he’s still sitting out there, if you just let me-” 

“Ben.”

“I’m serious. I was close to going over and telling him to stop looking at you. It’s annoying. Like that one kid you dated in the past.” It was my turn to roll my eyes at him. 

“Ben, I’m twenty seven.” Before I could protest more, he lunged at the door to open it. 

“Hey, you.” I quickly raced out of the back room, watching Ben walk his way over to Levi who had grabbed a rag and was cleaning the tops of the tables. 

“Ben-” Levi turned to give me a confused look as to why the giant man was walking towards him. They’ve probably only spoken two sentences to each other and now Levi was going to get reprimanded by Ben. 

“You’re dating my sister, correct?” Levi’s eyes widened a little bit, not expecting Ben to come right out with it. He probably also didn’t expect Ben to know anything, but with how obvious Levi had acted today, it wasn’t a surprise. Ben picked up on things probably to the same degree Levi did. 

“U-u-uh, we are?” He did the same thing I’d done to Erwin, and when he looked over at me again, confusion painting his face, I just nodded once, “Y-yes. We are…” A faint tint of blush painted his pale face. Mine was probably the same way. This was the first time he had admitted that out loud to someone from my world. 

“If you hurt her, I’ll beat you up. Her last boyfriend, he couldn’t walk for two days after Jonas and I jumped him.” He pointed his finger at Levi who didn’t seem that concerned about the threat. Ben was also lying, because he wouldn’t lay a hand on anyone. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Ben swat at a fly, let alone a human. 

“My intentions are not to hurt her.” Ben took off his apron and slammed it down on the table Levi had just finished cleaning. Flour dust went everywhere. This was quite the show he was putting on. Levi, however, didn’t know he was playing with him. He was trying to keep his face as neutral as possible, because he didn’t want to, in some way, offend Ben and make him angrier, but he was also getting annoyed with the man’s display. If Ben was to come at him, would he be permitted to slam him on the ground, or would that just make this whole situation worse? Levi didn’t want to beat up my brother, which was nice. 

“What are your intentions then?” Levi was not going to like expressing his feelings aloud to a stranger, so I saved him from Ben who I knew was trying his hardest not to laugh. 

“Ben, just let him go. I have to clean more and you’re keeping me from dinner.” I think Ben was also glad I gave him an out because I heard that Analee was making porridge for dinner and that was Ben’s favorite. 

Ben walked a bit forward, using his height to tower over Levi. This time, Levi’s face hardened. If I did get Ben away from Levi, Ben might end up on the ground. 

“Next time, Captain.” Ben retreated back and grabbed his jacket, turning to me with a smile. 

“Have a nice night, Ev! I assume I won’t need to come tomorrow?” He glanced over at Levi who was now extremely confused at Ben’s 180 degree flip. 

“No, I think I can handle myself tomorrow. Thanks Ben!” He raised his hand up and waved once, exiting the café. There was a moment of silence as the ringing of the door bells finally stopped and Levi turned to me, that expression still on his face. 

“W-wha..?” I smiled at the door, not disregarding the butterflies that came to my stomach now that I was finally alone with Levi for the first time in six months. 

“That’s Ben, my brother.” His face dropped to his regular look and nodded. 

“I can tell.” I huffed and grabbed Ben’s apron, hanging it up behind the counter. I decided to clean the counter and wait to see what Levi was going to do. Heaven knew I wanted to run up into his arms, but again, the vow I took held me back. 

To my surprise, he moved to behind the counter after cleaning the flour from the last table. He put the rag down on the back table and stood there, staring at me for a bit. I just disregarded his stare and kept cleaning the counter and glass case which was ridden with Ben’s handprints from the amount of times he leaned on it. 

“I’m going to hug you.” I left out a huff of laughter and didn’t move, signaling that he could do what he wanted. 

“I told you, you don’t have to say it alo-” His arms went around my waist, chest touching my back, and his head nuzzled into my neck. I also melted right there and then. Who taught him how to hug like this? I used my free hand to reach up and play with his hair, leaning my cheek onto the top of his head. 

“Hi,” I said, breathing in his scent. It’s been so long, the shirt he gave me had lost its smell, so it was nice to have it back. It was also nice that he had given me such an intimate display of affection after how long he’d been away. It told me that he missed me as much as his letters would insinuate. Maybe even equal as much as I missed him. 

He lifted himself up, leaving one arm wrapped around my waist. 

“I thought I’d personally deliver this letter to you,” he handed me the envelope with my name written on it. 

“Do you come with the letter?” I turned to face him and blushed at our closeness. He looked down at me slightly, examining my face. I’d cried the face powder off in the back, so my dark circles were at full force.

“You haven’t been taking care of yourself again.” It was low and had a tinge of disappointment in it. I looked up at him, examining his face. Tired. Large dark circles. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I could still yell at him for it. 

“I can say the same for you, Captain.” I reached up and put my hand on his cheek like the last night we had together. I figured that wouldn’t be off limits and I felt his face heat up a little before pulling back to lean against the back table across from me. He had hit his daily cap for affection and needed to cool off. 

“Erwin gave me the rest of the month off. So, I guessed that the best place to stay was here. He also told me to go see you after my work was done, and then proceeded to give me one more month’s worth of work.” He crossed his arms, his face pulling into one of annoyance for Erwin’s actions. 

“I did ask him to give you more breaks, but he didn’t promise me anything.” His eyes narrowed at the mention of our meeting. 

“Don’t think you three can keep it a secret about what you talked about. I told them I’d get you to tell me.” I smirked back up at him. 

“They aren’t telling you what we said?” 

“No details. I just know they asked you about us and to support the Scouts, and you accepted. I know that they left out everything important and Hange always laughs when I try to get her to tell me.” I guess I’d have to keep up this secret promise with Hange and Erwin. 

“Well, if they aren’t telling you, then I guess I can’t either, Levi. It was a confidential meeting, you know how that goes.” He shot off the table, pushing my stomach into the one I was cleaning. His arms were on either side of me, trapping me against the wood. My heart beat shot up at this sudden, aggressive touch, and I almost jumped as I felt his breath on the right side on my neck. This was the first time he had done something like this. Intimidating, aggressive, and very exciting. My heart wasn’t the only thing that fluttered when he whispered into my ear. 

“I have ways of getting you to tell me, Eva.” He lingered there for a few moments before pushing away and going back to rest on the table. I had to take at least ten breaths to calm myself down, and my face was still definitely the color of a cherry. That was the first time Levi had done something so… hot. One moment, he was pushing back because he was getting uncomfortable with the affection, and another he was shoving me up against the counter, making my brain race a million miles a second with the things I was imagining. The ways to get me to talk. Levi wasn’t like that was he? Did he have experience with that? He did live in the Underground and was extremely good looking, I’m sure he had girls at his feet at some point. It made me curious about his life in the Underground again… and what or who he did there. 

“I-I’m… done cleaning. We can go up to the up, upstairs.” He didn’t even hesitate and slung his cape around his shoulders, following me to the front to lock the café. 

We walked upstairs without saying anything, Levi walking a few steps behind me. He had retrieved a bag from the side of the alleyway and my eyes widened. I didn’t think he’d be staying here the whole rest of the month. That was almost three weeks. I remembered how dirty I had left it this morning and the empty bottle of wine next to my bed. 

Once we got inside, he set his bag on the couch and took off his boots and cape, hanging it up. I was a bit upset he didn’t take off the ODM gear straps, because now that he had done that little act downstairs, my mind was thinking about them. I had felt the buckle of the one on his chest dig into my back ever so lightly. 

“Did you really forget what I looked like? Stop staring at me.” He mumbled it, but it made me blush a bit and stare at the ground. Did he know what I was thinking about him? How did he get so bold in the last few minutes? 

“Can I shower? The ride here was long, and I sat in the back of the cart on some dirty hay.” 

“O-oh. Yes, you can. It’s that door right there, but you knew that already didn’t you. Sorry.” He smiled and laughed once, digging through his bag for his shower supplies. I just watched him as he did it, staring at the mundane task and letting my mind run wild. I don’t think he’s ever taken a shower here before. 

Without saying anything else, he walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I instantly let out a breath of frustration, but the room did cool down after he left. 

“He’s bold when being like that, but he’s still afraid of sleeping next to me?” I shook those thoughts out of my head and blinked when the bathroom door opened a little bit, the light shining through my dark apartment. 

“I forgot soap for my body, do you have any?” He yelled out. 

“Uh, there should be some in the cabinet below the sink. It’s Jonas’s.” I heard the cabinet open, along with a little grumble about ‘Why is he in your shower?’ before I heard them close again. 

“I don’t see it.” I did not want to go into that tiny bathroom and show him, but I knew that’s where this was going to end if I sent him on a hunt. I’d just let him use mine. 

“There’s a bottle in the shower. It’s glass and has pink liquid in it? You can use mine. I hope you don’t mind rose.” I heard the shower curtain rip back and a tiny laugh. 

“There’s about twelve bottles with pink liquid in them, Eva.” That was simply false. All of my shampoos, conditioners, and soaps were different colors. He wanted me to come in there and show him. I started walking slowly to the door. 

“It should be on the second shelf.” 

“Just come here and show me, I don’t have the patience.” There it was, and I was already halfway to the bathroom anyways. Ignoring my heart, I opened the door. 

“It should be in…” My eyes widened as he leaned against the sink, giving me access to walk to the shower as the room was only meant for one person at a time. My eyes widened as he leaned against the sink shirtless. I instantly flushed and something churned in the pit of my stomach. I glanced for one more second, and pushed on after seeing his smirk. I shoved myself up against the other wall, so there was no way for me to touch him as I walked past to the open shower. There the soap was and it was even labeled. I gripped hard around the bottle, turning to shove it into his hands. I tried so, so hard to only look at his face. When I glanced down at his chest again and back up, his smirk got deeper. It made me angry, but it also made me want to look even more. 

His body was completely toned and looked like it had no ounce fat on it. He was completely lean like I predicted in our last encounter in a bathroom. Every single possible muscle was defined in a sleek way that was easy for him to hide this… this Adonis of a figure beneath a regular shirt. His waist was probably smaller than mine and shoulders broad from carrying the heavy ODM gear on them for years, but I didn’t try to get another look at it as I walked past him, pressing up against the wall again. 

“I told you I’d let you see it when I got back,” he said jokingly as he set the bottle down on the sink. My face was burning and I didn’t dare turn around to look at him again as much as I wanted to. I had a free pass to look at him all I wanted if I took it, but I was too embarrassed right now. This combined with what happened downstairs wanted to make me scream. How long had he thought of doing this? The first time he’s seen me in six months and this is what he planned. 

“I-I’ll make food!” I half yelled, getting out of the small bathroom that was heating up to a hundred degrees. I could hear him laugh a little bit before closing the door behind me. The air outside was so much cooler, it gave me goosebumps and I stood out there for a bit, waiting to hear the shower turn on. When it did, I went to the kitchen and instantly sat in front of the open ice box trying to cool down my face. 

“Why are you like this, Eva? It’s not like you haven’t seen a shirtless man before. You’ve seen more than one and you’re never like this.” I hit my cheeks over and over again, trying to get them to cool down. No man I’ve been with before could go from sulky and hesitant one minute to making a heat pool in the depths of my stomach in thirty seconds. 

The shower stopped and I closed the fridge quickly, taking out eggs to act like I was using them. I had no clue what I was going to make to eat and I’d spent ten minutes staring at an open fridge. 

When he walked out, I almost broke the egg in my hand. He walked over to his bag on the couch, searching for clothes. The heat that I’d gotten rid of came back, and I finally turned away from the indecent sight. Just a towel?! 

“Sorry, I forgot to grab another pair of clothes.”

Chapter Twelve →

Chapter Masterlist

[palimpsessed]

✨❄️✨ Carry On Countdown 2020 ✨❄️✨

Day 10: Crossover

@carryon-countdown

No fic chapter today, loves, because instead I give you the next pop culture sensation!

Coming this winter, if you love Queer Eye, good for you! Here’s another show that is absolutely not a complete ripoff!

Critics are raving:

“A gift!” - O. Henry

“Please, please, please, I beg you, whatever you do, do NOT take life advice from these people!” - R. Rowell

All episodes streaming Dec 24, only on Notflix!

Read more for season one highlights!

(Don’t get too excited. These are just the quotes that were my basis for casting the roles. All quotes by Rainbow Rowell, obvs.)

Agatha (grooming):

“She’s got her hair pulled back in a giant frizzy ponytail that would probably be nice and wavy if she’d put any product in it at all. Anything. Hand lotion. Shaving cream.”

“The sun is setting, and it’s making his grey skin look almost warm. I know it’s setting my hair on fire.”

“...she’s got the brightest eyes and rosiest cheeks of anyone I’ve ever met. Maybe it’s the beetroot.”

Baz (fashion):

“Aunt Fiona stomped out in her heavy black Doc Martens boots (clichéd)”

“Simon looks stunning in a grey suit.”

“(Simon Snow in America: jeans and a white T-shirt”

“Bunce tends to look a bit absurd, even at her freshest. She dresses like she’s still in Watford uniform, or wishes she was. Short, tartan skirts. Knee socks. Mary Janes or brogues. The only concession she’s made to civilian life is a series of oversized T-shirts. I wonder if she even realizes she still wears so much purple and green.”

“I buy myself a few more suits. Plus clothes for the drive. A few changes for Simon. I see a dress that would look lovely on Bunce, but they don’t carry her size. I buy it anyway. We can alter it with a spell.”

“Lamb is waiting in the lobby, wearing sunglasses and a three-piece suit. Tiffany blue. Which sounds vulgar, but very much isn’t. He looks trim and fresh.”

“Go ahead and shoot me. This isn’t my favourite shirt.”

Simon (Food and wine):

“I just can’t pass the scones up if they’re there. They’re soft and light and a little bit salty. Sometimes I dream about them.”

“I didn’t care if magic was real at that moment. Because roast beef and Yorkshire pudding are fucking real as rain.”

“I’d eat butter with a spoon if it were acceptable. (I did it anyway, my first year, whenever I was the first one down to breakfast.)”

“A Unicorn Frappuccino. It tastes like strawberry Dip Dab.”

“This menu’s staggering. There’s a whole page of taco salads. They’ve got macaroni and cheese, regular or fried. And every kind of chicken—look, orange chicken.”

“Crowley, this burger is gorgeous. It has hash browns on it.”

“It’s not French stuff. It’s just really sad pastries and bad tea. Oh and you missed Baz eating a squirrel.”

“I’ve found a way around the sandwich problem. Beef jerky! This place sells at least thirty different kinds.”

Penelope (design):

“I’m disappointed that we didn’t get to see more of his house—or even dig into the library. I went to the bathroom a few times, but it’s just down the hall, and it seems like a modern addition. (There’s a Japanese toilet in there with comforting music and a seat warmer.)”

“The vibe here is very, Let’s kill a virgin and write a great Led Zeppelin album. (Though the library is lovely, and Baz’s stepmum seems very nice.)”

“I step into their house. I love this house. I stayed in the spare bedroom when I came to see Micah two summers ago. All the rooms are huge, and only the bedrooms and bathrooms (there are four bathrooms) have doors. And everything—all the walls and furniture and the two dozen kitchen cabinets—is in peaceful shades of cream and tan. There are at least three tan leather sofas. There are two beige sitting rooms. There’s wall-to-wall carpeting exactly the shade of porridge. Ugh, it’s so comforting. My house is every colour, none of them planned. And our furniture is whatever colour it was when my father spotted it at a yard sale. Also, our house has stuff everywhere. Micah’s family must have stuff somewhere, but you never see it. The only things on the coffee tables (how many coffee tables are there? easily nine) are cream-coloured vases with cream-coloured flowers and tan, marble lamps.”

“(For a cheap hotel, this shower is massive.)”

Shepard (culture):

“You’re something new. Or maybe something old. I’m hoping you’ll tell me over a hot cup of coffee.”

“My strategy is simple: I tell the truth. I always use my real name (even though fairy tales tell you not to). I always say exactly what I want from a situation and exactly what I mean.”

“Brought you some good news. I liked this [book]. Kind of sad. Good jokes though. This one takes itself too seriously, but I know you’re a sucker for Westerns. I would have brought more, but I didn’t know I was coming. I did get this [radio], though, on the way. Waterproof.”

“Who else will listen? Who else wants to hear their stories? There are trolls who’ve spent the last two hundred years sitting alone under a bridge. If you can get past the bluster and the wooden clubs, if you bring them a little bone broth, they’re just grateful to have a sympathetic ear. If you tell them that you mean no harm, and then you never do any harm … They start to like you. They start to look forward to you coming around.”

“Well, I told you, he doesn’t carry a backpack. He’s got this pouch, and all that’s in it is a comb and a carving knife. I gave him my toothbrush, and he was pleased as punch with it. I need to get back up there, get him another toothbrush.…”