#the riddler diddler

[jrueships]

:> 🐶 ! 🙂

🙄 😾! 😒 .

[pillsarchive]

A few random head cannons I have for Edward Nashton <<33

His favorite book is house of leaves you cannot change my mind - its filled with mysteries and he loves that he can re-read it and find more little puzzles to solve every time.

He watches documentaries like a crazy man. He has a lot of unhealthy tendencies and behaviors, one of them is wallowing. Watching documentaries that make him sad or angry gives him an almost perverse sense of pleasure - its confirmation. Yes, the world is as terrible as you think it is. If he's not using them as a depressant he's watching them to learn. Understanding more about niche topics helps him write better riddles.

He's a punk. The music was one of the things that got him through his time at the orphanage, even as an adult one of the only times he feels sort of good is when he's at shows. Thrashing around and taking out his aggression via moshing. He's never felt the need to dress loud (probably due to self confidence issues, I have a feeling once he breaks out of arkham and he has no reason to hide his identity anymore he'll come into his own and put himself together better) but he does admire people who are alternative in some way a whole lot.

He has graphomania (an impulsive desire to write or draw). It started as a nervous habit as a child, writing down riddles or thoughts or bible quotes to get anxiety out, then it spiraled into writing anything - one word over and over again, nonsense, it doesn't even have to be legible.

He has always wanted to go back to college and get more degrees. He has a bachelors in accounting of course, but he wants so many more. He loves learning, he is sort of a humanitarian at heart (even though his rage stifles that sometimes - revenge is a hard thing for him not to want) so he greatly enjoys the atmosphere of college campuses too. When he went, even though he was still mostly shunned for being neurotic and strange, people were nicer to him than normal. In the classroom he felt at home - he's sort of a genius and other students had a hard time keeping up with him. His professors pushed him to pursue a more advanced degree but he couldn't afford it (and the arkham programs for getting the cash he needed were lacking, to say the least).

He's trans and on the spectrum.

He's a true crime nerd. He likes to read books on it more than watch podcasts or docs - he finds that reading about cases is more informative and less exploitative (as much as he maintains you should care about the victims more than the killers, it is kind of just talk. He has a huge fixation with murder. ) This mf is an encyclopedia when it comes to the zodiac killer - has he spent months trying to solve the ciphers? Yes.

GRAVITY FALLS GUYS. He loves - LOVES gravity falls. He is a children's cartoons enjoyer.

He burned down the orphanage.

He's a cryptid mystery girly. He loves ghost hunting tv shows and he's super into random mystery junk. He has solved kryptos. He does brag about this accomplishment to his fans. He does reveal what it means to spite the CIA.

Collects something weird and small like buttons or bottle caps or stamps.

Bilingual! He can speak the King's and latin.

Loves rats. In the orphanage they were scary, they stole stockpiled food which could mean starvation, they chewed on you and gave some kids infections, they were horrible. Now that he's out and living in his own place he finds a lot of catharsis in taming them and befriending them.

In my universe he was in a mook adjacent band that broke up because he couldn't work well with the other bandmates.

He did NOT FLOOD THE CITY. I feel like in the movie this was completely off the wall, imu he doesnt ever make a plan to flood the whole city. What he does imu for the finale is a surprise >:].

[kingofconundrums]

if you're following from twitter let me know who you are so i can follow back

[bootyshitter]

poem about anything except Gotham

Poem about the Riddler.

Hey man I’m riddled, Riddled with thoughts

Thoughts that are making me giggle with the hots

The hots for nightwing if you're asking, which you’re probably not

when the riddler comes round

you’ll wish the killer drowned

the Killer is a metaphor for the Batman

and the riddler is a metaphor for the riddler

cause the riddler can’t be a metaphor; that’s like having a riddle for a riddle

This is Gotham

I blow up a hospital

Not with bombs

But with my booty, and it’s beauty

Don’t laugh, it’s not goofy.

But the real issue is who’s the diddler

cause even the riddler hates the diddler

that weirdo little swindler, diddly do it or diddy not?

do you know how evil you have to be to scam someone in Gotham?

you’d have to be more evil than a rotten dolphin named Martin

But honestly I’ll solve these riddles like John Watson

without the gay tendencies

and more pregnancies

because if I’m solving these riddles that means I’m in the same universe as nightwing

and the bed me and him would be on? well.. heh… it would be a king.

and it most certainly wouldn’t be a fling

so solve me this riddle: what is stinky stanky quick and thick?

well… that would have to be dick Graysons big fat dick.

[wowwforever]

eddie izzard: yes but Batman! Batman had the best villains - you had the joker, the riddler, the smoker, the fiddler, the stoker, the diddler and...Two-Face! Two face, the man with two faces: One that looked like a regular human and one that looked like Tony Blair.

[arthurmorganson]

ed nashton’s s/o call that a riddler diddler

[hvannibal]

Petition to change the riddlers name from Edward nygma to Ron diddler please I’ve been calling him that all week

[biohazrd]

the riddlers evil twin the diddler who's just totally normal but does cam shows instead of livestreaming his domestic terrorism plot planning

[upprahfunnel]

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[yungfunguss]

Child molester Riddler call him The Diddler

[crowpocrypha]

elaborate? no, i don't think I will. (updated)

[danowh0re]

riddler diddler🧍‍♂️

He's cummin then

[antlerdeer]

paul dano riddler? you mean the diddler?

[medeaminte]

dano riddler, or as i like to call him: the diddler

Let's go one step further and just call him daddy.

[plasticnightmaredoll]

The time has come for a ridiculous Self-Ship Scenarios Set featuring three (3) of my fictional hoes: Telltale Riddler, Batman: The Animated Series Riddler, and Arkhamverse Riddler. I already foreshadowed this off-the-rails post, but you have no idea how fucking stupid these scenarios are 😂

Basically, it’s like this: Each scenario -- one per Riddler Diddler Boy -- features me annoying the absolute fuck out of the Riddle Man of choice by being my weird, childish but curious self and attempting to convince him to make the Cursed Demon Soap Hand from 5 Minute Crafts. Jenna Marbles created this cursed thing on her channel, and I watched the video and immediately thought, “This looks like a stupid as fuck experiment my dumbass self would pester my Riddler boys with, and while there is love present between us, like always, they are so fucking done with my shit and are just like  😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐”

And yes, in reality, I would totally do this to my puzzle-loving boys 🤣

Also, I selected pics featuring my three (3) Riddler boo-thangs looking annoyed/frustrated because that’s how they would feel about my stupid sense of humor and childish antics sometimes 🤣🤣🤣🤣

For part one (1), we will focus on Arkham Knight Riddler! I will make separate posts for Telltale Riddler and BTAS Riddler in the near future.

Arkhamverse Riddler -- We’re going to focus on Arkham Knight Riddler because Riddlerbots

Me: “Eddie, Baby, Darling, Sugar, Pumpkin Pie, you’re a man who loves to experiment in the name of science, a man who isn’t afraid to go above and beyond to solve life’s mysteries.” AK!Eddie: *already exasperated* “What sort of illogical piece of Internet fodder have you discovered this time?” Me: “Let me show you a video first--so you can fully understand the intricacies of this experiment.” AK!Eddie: *waits for me go to YouTube on my laptop, then to my “Dumbass Shit” list* Me: “I am going to warn you: This video is probably cursed. Watching it may cause you to become possessed by a demon, but don’t worry. I’ll save you.” AK!Eddie: “Demons aren’t real, so demonic possession is impossible.” Me: *turns my laptop so Eddie can watch the video* “Have fun! It’s the very first segment in the video...” AK!Eddie: *watches the video with the Cursed Demon Soap Hand * AK!Eddie: *turns to me and gives me the most disapproving and annoyed experession of all time* AK!Eddie: “We’re not making this preposterous ‘creation.’ It won’t take five minutes, it serves no purpose in that shape, and you can buy soap for cheap at any store. The experiment is pointless.” Me: “But don’t you, like, wonder how it might turn out if we tried to make it?” AK!Eddie: “No.” Me: “I saw someone on YouTube create this thing, and while it was an exhausting journey, the results were worth it. Mostly.” AK!Eddie: “Then you have a demonstration of how this soap monstrosity would actually be created, and what it would truly look like.” Me: “But I want to see for myself how it is. I need to experience the Cursed Demon Soap Hand myself, first hand!” *laughs* “My mind cannot rest until I have created this work of obscure art.” AK!Eddie: “Your mind is a very bizarre and troubling place.” Me: “Oh, come on! We can make it green!” AK!Eddie: “No.” Me: “You could, like, high five it if you come up with some ingenious idea and no one is nearby to immediately celebrate with you!” AK!Eddie: “No.” Me: “It would be a fun activity for us to do with the kids!” AK!Eddie: “We don’t have ki-- Wait.” Me: *motions to some Riddlerbots* Me: *points to them* “Our kids.” AK!Eddie: *rubs a hand over his face and sighs loudly* “I told you before that they’re not...” *sighs again, shaking his head* “They’re not children, they’re...” *another sigh* “They’re not even alive...” *groans* “I am their god, not their...” Me & the small group of Riddlerbots: *staring expectantly at Eddie* Me: “I think they’d love to do it. Wouldn’t you guys like to do something fun with Mom and Dad?” Riddlerbots: *all nod enthusiastically* Me: “Look at them. How could you say no to those sweet faces?” AK!Eddie: *staring at me in intense disapproval* Me: “How could you say no to my sweet face?” *gives the cutest smile* AK!Eddie: *staring at me in even more intense disapproval* Me: “Don’t you love me?” *pouts* AK!Eddie: “Of course I do but I don’t see how this...” Me: *pouts heavily* Riddlerbots: *staring at Eddie* Me: *pouts so damn much it almost hurts* Riddlerbots: *continuing to stare intensely at Eddie* AK!Eddie: “Ugh, ok, ok, fine! We’ll make this absurd thing! We’re destroying it immediately after, though.” Me: “Maybe should exorcise it first then burn it because it’s going to be cursed.” *giggling* AK!Eddie: “It’s not cursed but I am!” Me: “Cursed with....love?” *smiles sweetly* AK!Eddie: “Cursed with love for the most adorable, beautiful, gentle-natured but childish distraction of all time.” Me: *gives Eddie a hug and a kiss on the cheek* Me: “My lovely Riddle Man...indulging me without fail.” *giggles* AK!Eddie: “We’re making this soap hand monstrosity green, by the way. If I must partake in such inanities, then it needs to be green.” Me: “Of course!” *kisses Eddie again before turning to the Riddlerbots* Me: “Ok, Kids, let’s make a Cursed Demon Soap Hand! For science!” AK!Eddie: *rolls his eyes* AK!Eddie: *is going to do this out of love* AK!Eddie: *still doesn’t think the Riddlerbots are children* AK!Eddie: *is actually going to make the most impractical practical object he’s ever seen because he just can’t say no to my sweet face :3*

Epilogue:

Me: *watching glue gun hacks video* Me: *with a devious smirk* “Eeeeddddiiieeee, would you come here, please?” AK!Eddie: *comes over* AK!Eddie: *watches video over my shoulder* AK!Eddie: *immense disapproval* Me: “So, do you wanna...?” AK!Eddie: “No. No, no, no.” Me: “But the kids, Eddie.” Riddlerbots gather around and stare at Eddie. AK!Eddie: “No! No way! Stop looking at me like that, all of you! We’re not doing another ridiculous ‘experiment!’ My genius cannot handle such pointless activities!“ Me: “You’re just worried because it’s a cursed video with cursed objects...” AK!Eddie: “CURSES AREN’T REAL!” Me: “Oh, but you are cursed...” *Gets up and hugs a very grumpy Eddie* “Cursed with loving meeeee.” AK!Eddie: “I wouldn’t call it cursed....just...driven absolutely insane by your antics sometimes.” *hugs me back* Riddlerbots stare at Eddie expectantly.  AK!Eddie: *to the Riddlerbots* “No, you’re not getting hugs!”

[storiesungaa]

Mr. Widdler Piddler the Diddler was a very good Riddler.

I HATE THAT WORD SHAR SHDGD