#the series has no like. monthly thing to care about so i could get away with that. i could probably start that schedule about when Dec hits

[graciereadshannigram]

hey fam, my spreadsheet is FINALLY up to date so i am FINALLY getting back to the monthly rec lists! here's the cream of the crop from August :)

as a reminder: the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.

that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes and as such, is incredibly subjective.

you can find past recs below:

February March April May June July

and if you have any recs of your own for me, PLEASE SHARE.

without further ado, let's go!

Teach Me a Lesson (Already Learned) by whenitstarted

Word Count: 3142 Summary: Will being married to Molly and cheating on her with Hannibal.

Literally just PWP because I wanted to scratch the cheating itch.

Just Thought You Should Know by EarthsickWithoutYou

Word Count: 22370 Summary: Two years after marrying Molly, Will is restless and unhappy, unable to stop thinking about Hannibal and missing his incarcerated cannibal despite all the reasons why he knows it's wrong. One night, things come to a head when Hannibal finds a way to call him. A series of sensual phone encounters begs the question of how long Will can possibly resist the desire which Hannibal so expertly cultivates.

Oh this one was GOOD. I love anything that happens in the three years Will is with Molly. The angst, the porn, chefs kiss.

More Myself Than I Am by StratsWrote

Word Count: 9176 Summary: Everyone has a soulmate. Someone they will connect with on such an intimate level that they are like one mind in two bodies. It comes on the cusp of adulthood, a shared link between two minds. It will start with feelings, emotions shared across the connection. Some people claim senses; smell and sound. Those who are thoroughly, intensely intertwined can claim to send their very thoughts towards each other, although it’s generally considered bad luck to use the connection to find each other sooner than you are meant to.It is a wonderful thing, to know that no matter who you are or what you’ve done, somebody out there will understand you. Or at least, it’s supposed to be.

Soulmate AU! Hannibal absolutely hating the bond at first felt very on brand and this was just very good.

coyote chewing on a cigarette by antiheroblake

Word Count: 5145 Summary: hannibal wants someone to care for him until he’s bequeathed his family fortune, but he doesn’t want to deal with the near-elderly perverts his friend calls their “sugar daddy”. that’s when he sets his sites on the sullen and newly rich will graham

okay if you aren't reading this series, what are you doing?? every. single. installment. is a five star!!!

No It Don't Come Easy by nobetterlove

Word Count: 10759 Summary: Will had the good sense to blush then, both Hannibal’s words and his previous actions making his heart pound hard in his chest. “Actually, uh – “ Will started, his hand reaching back to rub along his suddenly stiff neck. “I told him I was seeing someone.” Blue eyes looked up slowly, Will more than curious as to what Hannibal’s reaction would be. “Well, that’s – “ Hannibal tried to say but was cut off by Will speaking again. “I said it was you. Or implied it, at least.” There was a moment of silence where Hannibal didn’t blink or look away or even breath. Maroon eyes took Will in with shocking efficiency – he felt like Hannibal was everywhere in that moment, surrounding him in all ways possible. “You told Jack Crawford that you were seeing me.” Or: a Hannigram fake dating AU

i'm a whore for a fake dating fic, y'all know who i am.

Oddbodies by toffeecape

Word Count: 72714 Summary: Will is an off-brand sentinel. Hannibal is a reputable guide. What could go wrong?

i knew nothing about Sentinel AUs before reading this one, but i found it was perfectly well explained within the fic! and wow this was SO well done! it fits so well into canon and was just a treat to read.

This Isn't Rapture by moistdrippings

Word Count: 7467 Summary: Will wakes with a fever, and Hannibal prescribes some unconventional treatments.

yeah, just gonna drop this one here.

stink in the nostrils by murdertrout

Word Count: 49137 Summary: Secret Omega Hannibal is not pleased that he has imprinted on Will Graham. He avenges himself on his biology by getting Will Graham put behind bars. But when Will figures out what he’s been hiding and tampers with his suppressants, triggering his first heat, they both get more than they bargained for. Alternate S2b if it were entirely A/B/O porn.

LOVED THIS.

A Most Gentle Death by mokuyoubi

Word Count: 8956 Summary: “What is that?” Will asks tightly.“A blend of benzodiazepines and barbiturates,” Hannibal says. “It will render one unconscious, immobile, and largely insensate.”Will stares at the syringe in shocked disbelief. The shame and embarrassment are still present, but have taken a backseat to dry-mouthed, hopeless longing. Hannibal turns the syringe end on end between his fingers. “Would you like me to administer it to myself?” he asks.

there is something so satisfying about Hannibal not being phased by pretty much anything that Will wants.

A Wolf in the Night by itsbeautiful

Word Count: 3857 Summary: “Leave them on…” Will rumbled, grabbing hair and pushed a head down his stomach. “…and suck my cock.”Hannibal looked up with a dark stare and a head tilt, struggling to catch his breath. “No ‘please?’”“I know…I don’t need to ask, politely or otherwise, to get what I want from you now.”Red eyes glittered with hunger, tongue flicking out to taste the power left on lips.“Isn’t that what you wanted, Doctor Lecter? For me to take what I want from you.”

i'm pretty sure i just love anything this author writes, wow. you don't technically need to have read Transcendent Suffering, but it'll make more sense if you have.

When It Clicks by summerisblue

Word Count: 29838 Summary: Will and Hannibal have been spending a lot of time together lately.Because they’re friends, Will likes to reason. Will likes to tell Hannibal that too, just to clarify. Hannibal might be more than a little frustrated.

this one really hit my "oblivious sugar baby Will Graham" button. i love him so much.

Your Ex by murdertrout

Word Count: 3810 Summary: “What was your last relationship like?”“Uh,” Will says. “Intense.”“Good intense or bad intense?”“Yes,” Will says.“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want,” Molly says, “but I just want you to know you can.”In retrospect, this is a mistake.--We usually assume that Will clammed up about his past when he was with Molly. But what if actually Will tells Molly way, way, way too much about his relationship with Hannibal?Or, the one where Will starts talking about his “ex" and doesn't stop.

i love when Will is an idiot. this fic was just silly and perfect.

Ball Toss by raiast

Word Count: 22307 Summary: The carnival AU no one asked for. Hannibal accompanies Alana to a carnival and meets one Will Graham, whose game booth is less than above board. Hannibal does not approve.

YES YES YES. i really loved this dark Will!!

Pushing Comfort by lurid_erotic_intimacy (virtuous_contract)

Word Count: 14559 Summary: Habitually, Hannibal keeps his steps quiet as he makes his way to Will’s upper floor. It’s probably nothing out of the ordinary that has kept Will from making their morning session (not a session, a conversation). Still, it’s best to know for certain.Or: Will starts missing his appointments. Hannibal is happy to investigate why. Can be read as a canon-insert. A quite sweet and kink-flavoured getting together story.

this was sweeter than i would have expected it to be based on the tags, but mmmm this hit the right buttons for me!

a world of hurt by divinetheatre

Word Count: 7213 Summary: Will takes it slow, pausing between the strikes to let Hannibal work through the sensations, patient — for now. In time, when Hannibal’s self control wavers, and his knees start to kiss one another after every spanking, Will will pin him open and punish him for that too. Relentlessly.

well, we learn new things about ourselves every single day, right?

i know who you are by divinetheatre

Word Count: 14125 Summary: Will turned again as though the turmoil in Hannibal’s heart had clamored loud enough for him to hear. They didn’t speak. They didn’t need to. What Hannibal might’ve said, the last thing he could’ve admitted to Will, did not pass his lips. Will strode to him and grasping Hannibal’s face in both hands, kissed him. Deep and hot with passion that did not surprise Hannibal but overwhelmed him. He’d known it would be this way, but he had never been prepared. Not entirely.

Vulnerable Hannibal and Will being the most tender understanding human? Give me moreeeeeeeee.

a sort of madness by divinetheatre

Word Count: 5239 Summary: He chose me.The euphoric mantra echoes through his mind as he drags the panties down Hannibal’s long, slim legs. They open for him. The slick heat betwixt dampens the coverlet for him. What happens to Hannibal’s body after this is because of him.

i had to stop and remember to breathe multiple times during this fic so. do what you will with that information.

Secretary by FragileTeacup

Word Count: 77469 Summary: Will Graham needs a job. Since quitting the FBI, he’s been adrift for months, broken and lost; chasing a desire he doesn’t understand in increasingly destructive ways. What he needs is stability, direction, something to help put his life back in order and quiet the buzzing in his head. A chance encounter with the classifieds might just give him exactly what he needs. Secretary Wanted.Dr. H. Lecter. Psychiatric private practice.Typing and good manners essential.Must follow direction.

THE secretary AU. need i say more??

Layover by raiast

Word Count: 16978 Summary: When Hannibal misses his connecting flight to DC he is forced to obtain a hotel room for the evening. When the last remaining room is seemingly double-booked he realizes that the adult thing to do is generously offer to share the space. And if the other man in need of lodging happens to be a seemingly disheveled, ill-mannered and altogether beautiful stranger, well, that's just fine.

ONLY ONE BED ONLY ONE BED. alternate first meeting AU that i adored.

Scent of a Woman by Devereauxs_Disease

Word Count: 4860 Summary: After the fall, Will assumed he and Hannibal would progress to a romantic relationship. So when Hannibal comes home smelling of fancy perfume, Will is...distressed. How do serial killers handle jealousy and romantic confessions? Not well, y'all...NOT WELL.

they're both so stupid and i love them. Hannibal's behavior had me cracking up because of course he would behave this way.

Will Graham Had a Secret by hannigramsarah (WrightworthSarah)

Word Count: 4442 Summary: Will Graham has a somewhat slutty past. What happens when he meets Hannibal Lecter and discovers his proclivities may not be as secret as he might have hoped?

this was lovely.

Something Borrowed by BelladonnaWyck

Word Count: 11206 Summary: “What’s wrong with your green card?” Will can’t hope to stop the words from tumbling forth - didn’t even know they were about to spill from his mouth when he opened it - and his cheeks flush when he realizes how intrusive and presumptuous that question is.

Hannibal is Hannibal and they are perfet. i need more green card proposals STAT.

Touch by raiast

Word Count: 10902 Summary: From the kinkmeme prompt:"Going into an intense heat, Will volunteers to be shared and passed around by a group of Alphas. Hannibal finds out. Does he stop it from even happening? Sneak in and sign in to join the group?"What happens when an Omega with a voyeurism kink signs up for a Public Heat and his possessive Alpha psychiatrist applies for a volunteer position? Hint: lots of knotting, lots of come, and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of bloodshed.

FERAL WILL GRAHAM. i really don't think i need to say more.

put your aching teeth to good use, my dear by wormsin

Word Count: 10516 Summary: alternate a/b/o ending to Fromage. when Will sees Hannibal in his office, bloody but alive, he goes into a feral rut. Hannibal tries to pacify him.

again, feral Will Graham just hits all the right buttons.

Tender by McRibFarewellTour

Word Count: 5117 Summary: "Will loved the violence, of course he did, but he loved Hannibal more, and he wanted there to be a clear distinction between the two. He wanted proof that Hannibal loved him, Will Graham, not anyone else who could be convinced to empathize with a serial killer. He didn’t want to push Hannibal against a wall, he wanted to hold and be held by him."A defense of seeking gentleness in a world of violence.

OUCH. in the best way possible, big ouch.

Husband Under Contract by house_of_lantis

Word Count: 49685 Summary: Count Hannibal Lecter has always enjoyed his bachelorhood and freedom, preferring to live a life as an established gentleman and lord of his estate. But Hannibal finds himself married and the last thing he wants is a clingy, tedious spouse who expects romance and to take advantage of Hannibal’s wealth and social status. Will Graham couldn’t care less about the arranged marriage as long as he can keep his job and keep his dogs. He’s amused by Hannibal’s attempts to manipulate him; and when he finally gets Hannibal in bed, he thanks him for a good time and returns to his own suite. What will Hannibal do when he realizes that he’s completely in love with his husband? And can Will ever see past their marriage contract to sharing a real life of love and passion?

An incredible royalty (kind of?) AU. i love how Will just does not give a fuck about upsetting Hannibal, much to the horror of the house staff.

pretty words from a silver tongue by nbcravenstag

Word Count: 3595 Summary: Will’s hookups (as few and far in between as they are) always end the same; deliberate distance between bodies and a cold, empty bed come morning. No one ever stays the night.

touch starved and vulnerable Will??? sign me UP.

i could love you with my eyes closed by nbcravenstag

Word Count: 2276 Summary: In Will Graham's three and a half decades on this planet, no one has ever made him feel like this.or, Hannibal is a little TOO good in bed, leaving his boy a little... emotional.

relatable content.

Night Calls and Liquid Courage by nbcravenstag

Word Count: 4249 Summary: "How much did you drink, Will?”“All of it.”“All of it, hm? That certainly is a lot.” _________________ Beverly Katz hand-delivers a very flirty, very drunk Will Graham to Hannibal's doorstep in the middle of the night. Drunken confessions and lots of cuddling ensue.

fluffy goodness, what more could ya want?

your touch is my safety by feralwillgrhm

Word Count: 4183 Summary: Will had been touch-starved for a while, but he didn't realise how much he craved it until Hannibal came into his life and initiated touch between them repeatedly. It left him wanting more and trembling at night in bed, but he never knew how to tell Hannibal. That was until he finally cracked. Or: 5 times Hannibal touched Will and he barely kept things together, and 1 time he gave in.

this was so sweet and tender!!

I called your name ‘til the fever broke by omnilegent

Word Count: 4363 Summary: Hannibal tilted his head in that cat-like way of his and said, apropos of nothing, ‘I believe you are experiencing touch deprivation, Will.’Will was not in the fucking mood.‘I touch myself plenty, doctor.’ He snapped, realising what that sounded like after he was already committed to saying it and ultimately not really caring. He couldn’t be bothered for all this dancing around half truths via metaphors today.———Hannibal offers Will a helping hand in relieving his touch deprivation…

can y'all tell i was on a "touch starved Will Graham" kick? that's all this is.

the fire went wild (the flames went higher) by antiheroblake

Word Count: 15359 Summary: will takes hannibal out to make up for the shoes he didn’t get, but when hannibal tries to show his appreciation (and how poorly he can behave), will decides to show him something new

show me the places where the others gave you scars by madeofbees

Word Count: 4957 Summary: Will has a bad time at a bad scene; Hannibal helps.Or: if Will has such a strong empathy response to horror and violence, what would happen if Hannibal immersed him in pleasure?

can y'all imagine if this is what Hannibal had done from the start? jesus christ.

Heal Your Wolf(hound) Well by devotional_doldrums

Word Count: 53396 Summary: From a distance, Hannibal enjoys heightening Will’s sickness. But confronted with the injured man lying in his hospital bed… Hannibal’s not so sure he enjoys it, anymore. Chicken soup (for the serial killer’s soul).

i love getting to see Hannibal actively regret his choices. 10/10.

Crystalline by DruidGurl (DaoistDruid)

Word Count: 59216 Summary: Stripper!Hannibal AU (sort of) The proprietor of a successful restaurant, Hannibal (who may or may not be a serial killer and definitely WAS an exotic dancer in his youth) is coerced by an old acquaintance to take a job dancing at a bachelor party. When he shows up, he realizes a mistake has been made, but he also realizes something far more interesting: the groom to be is hotter than Mt. Vesuvius. Circumstance and intent lead the boys where it always should: into bed. A lot.

GIVE ME ALL OF THE CHEATING FICS PLEASE. Everything in this fic was top tier. Hannibal as a dancer? Hell yes. The dirty talk? Yes. The fucking all night long marathon sex sessions? YES. Will being an absolute SLUT for Hannibal??? YES PLEASE GOD.

all i want is you by nbcravenstag

Word Count: 8892 Summary: We should do something tomorrow."Did you have anything in mind?“It’s your birthday.”Ah, he wishes it were so simple. If Hannibal were to wish for anything, it would be Will Graham underneath him, gasping, moaning, whispering his name while he placed claiming bites on his beautiful, porcelain throat. Such an image is so lovely… and so achingly far away. There is nothing wrong with wishing for it, but if it is a boundary that is never crossed, Hannibal can live with it. He can live this quiet, friendly, occasionally bloody life they live simply as friends if it means he continues to have it.That does not mean Hannibal won’t settle for his second favorite. (It isn’t really settling though; their shared hunts are the greatest adventures he’s ever had.)“Well, there is that dreadful Senor Pérez down at the docks…” _________________ A year after the fall. Hannibal and Will are friends and partners in crime, but nothing more. Hannibal is... fine with that. He is content having Will in any way that he is allowed if it means Will stays.Today is Hannibal's birthday. Will surprised him with a kiss.

This made me want to tear up in a good way. It is so TENDER. God, they are so soft and I love them.

le bel homme sans merci by nbcravenstag

Word Count: 7481 Summary: “La Belle Dame Sans Merci.” Will recites breathlessly.Hannibal lets out a pleased hum. “The painting is a rather whimsical rendition of the muse. Keats’ poem depicts a wretched end for the knight where he awakens alone in the field, abandoned by the love of his life, whereas Dicksee’s work focuses on the maiden’s affection and the knight’s surrender to his own heart. Everything he knows and feels, it all changes when he sees her for the first time." _________________ Hannibal leaves his sketchbook in Will's car. He can't stop himself from looking inside, from wanting to know, but he never expected every drawing to be of him.

Hannibal "accidentally" leaving his sketchbook in the car where Will will absolutely find it? Chefs kiss. THEY'RE IN LOVE.

Whiskey Lullaby by thisisthefamilybusiness

Word Count: 1943 Summary: Hannibal Lecter only gives one apology in his entire life, and it is to the man he never meant to kill, the one he murdered not with violence, not with a knife, not as the Chesapeake Ripper, but with assumptions and carelessness and arrogance, to Will Graham. (Fill for the following prompt on HannibalKink: "Alone on the Water-esque fic? "Will you miss me, Hannibal?" "Until the end of my days, William." For those not in the Sherlock fandom, it's basically a deathfic. You can do it with cancer, like AotW, or AIDS, Will's encephalitis....anything you want. Even maybe Hannibal killing Will and these are their last words? Just. Please. Hurt me.")

OUUUGGGHHHH. Thank you, Serri. Will dies because he's HIV+ and Hannibal didn't know and let the encephalitis get so bad that Will got full blown AIDS. Ouch.

Guidance by jonnimir

Word Count: 3511 Summary: Kinktober Day 30: Gagging + Swallowing.Will acts out at a party, and Hannibal helps him calm down by keeping his mouth otherwise occupied.

Will going into subspace!!! I do love a good cockwarming fic. (also this might be what i need when i'm throwing up an attitude shhhh...)

[hazelplaysgames]

we're dodging violence against Junpei today.

you know, i think clips are getting to be... about October? i have 600 in queue right now, it should be close. i kinda realized, this entire last year has been games that took place in Japan. Digimon Cyber Sleuth, World's End Club, Persona, i got into AI: The Somnium Files(i hope the next sale is soon!). i should probably also just play The World Ends With You, just to add another to the list, i got that on DS back in the days i was bad at prioritizing what to do in games. i saw the shrine in the background of this one, and it just kinda hit me how many of them were in Japan.

[mochie85]

Wanderlust

Part 1 of the Wanderlust Series.

Wanderlust Masterlist | Complete Masterlist

Summary: You try to convince your best friend to go on a long road trip with you. Pairing: Bucky x Female Reader Word Count: 694 (a drabble, really) Warnings: Fluff. ALL fluff. A/N: This is for @the-slumberparty June Monthly Challenge: Summer Vibes. I picked a tent (can the VW Bus be considered a tent?) and the Road setting. I don't know if I should continue with the story. I mean, I have some ideas, but I don't think there's an actual plot...lol. Edit: It's decided...it's now a series...I hope y'all are happy!

The one thing you wanted to do before you started your new job was to visit the national parks in your state. You graduated with honors and had multiple job offers in the tech industry because of the algorithm you created for your senior project.

Tech careers were unpredictable and oftentimes fleeting. But you were confident that your innovative program would help kick-start your career and cement your position in the company that you chose for a long while.

That’s why you wanted to go out and travel. See nature! Just before you commit to a desk and computer for the rest of your foreseeable future.

“Do you know how big California is?” Bucky asked you agitated.

“Yes, I do,” you answered back with a cheeky grin.

“California has the greatest number of national parks!” he pointed at the map.

“Yes. Nine! And that doesn’t include the monuments and the trails and the memorials-”

“No!”

“Well, I’m not asking for your permission.”

“I still say, ‘no.’”

“I’ll go with or without you, Buck. I just thought you should know my plan.”

“Do you know how dangerous it is out there? Especially if you’re alone.”

“I can take care of myself. I did take that self-defense class for a couple of months,” you reasoned.

“Why can’t you go somewhere that has- Look, Nevada! Nevada has one national park. The Great Basin. And hey…we could even hit up Vegas while we’re there!” Bucky pointed at the map.

“Oh, ya cuz I would really be safe from creep-o’s in Vegas!” you rolled your eyes at your best friend.

“Ok. What about Hawaii? Hawaii has two national parks! And it’s HA-WA-II!”

“Do you know how much that plane ticket would cost? I haven’t started my job yet. Besides, who would watch Smokey while I was away?”

“You’re bringing the dog?!”

“Of course, I’m bringing the dog! Smokey goes where I go.” And as if he was called, your large greyhound came over licking your hand under the table. “We’re gonna have so much fun in our Bus-Bus, aren’t we, Smokey?!”

“And another thing?! How sure are you that the rusted piece of metal you call a car will actually take you around California? You’d probably break down before you get south of Oakland!”

“I had my mechanic look at it! Sid said it was in good shape! Plus I can call a tow if I need to.”

Bucky just looked at you defeated. He knew there was no convincing you out of this hair-brained plan of yours. You had always been a person to stick to your guns as soon as you planned it out. ‘No Regrets,’ you had always said.

No Regrets, Bucky repeated in his head trying to decide what to do. Nine parks! Nine! It would take you a month and a half to finish that round trip. And that’s only if you decided to stay at each park for a couple of nights, not the week you were planning.

“All right. All right. I’ll go with you.” Bucky relented, placing his head in his hands.

“I didn’t ask you to, Buck,” you chuckled, trying to hide the relief on your face.

“Bullshit! You knew I was going with you the moment you told me about it.” He called out your bluff. You shrieked and held your arms out to Bucky’s neck, embracing him in a tight hug.

 “You and I are gonna have so much fun! You’re not gonna regret this.”

“Ya, ya, ya.” Bucky relished in your warm embrace. You smelled like sun-kissed fruit on a lazy afternoon. You felt like a cool breeze that just wafted into his life unexpectedly and decided to stay. Erupting his life into chaos.

You pulled away looking into his deep blue eyes. He narrowed them as if he saw something in you that he had never seen before.

“Ok, we leave right after graduation! And you can’t take it back now Barnes. You’re in this with me till the end!” You smiled at him. Your cheeks were puffy and red, carrying a dimple that he wanted to caress.

“Lord, help me.” He whispered under his breath.

⬅️Wanderlust Masterlist | The Redwoods➡️

🏷️ My "ALL" Taglist: @emarich7 @michelleleewise @coldnique @vickie5446 @psychospore @mukagentropy @lokisgoodgirl @silverfire475 @fictive-sl0th @springdandelixn @wheredafandomat @goldencherriess @peaches1958 @salempoe @thomase1 @kkdvkyya @a-witch-with-words @mischief2sarawr @sarawr-reads @vbecker10 @peachymallow @irishhappiness @cakesandtom @simplyholl @here4thefanfics @tallseaweed @holdmytesseract @immersed-in-mischief @joyful-enchantress @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokisninerealms @kikster606 @glitterylokislut @loz-3 @slytherclaw1227 @chantsdemarins @the-lady-amphitrite @eleniblue @km-ffluv @lokidokieokie @n3rdybirdee

[georgie-weasley]

Deep Wounds: Chapter 1.5

Warnings: A wee bit of self loathing from Remus, mentions of scars

Word Count: 1.1k

Pairing: eventual Remus x fem!healer!reader

A/N: So it has been a while since I posted anything about this series so to refresh, there will be smaller chapters like this one in-between each of the longer chapters. The smaller chapters generally won't focus on the reader and mostly Remus instead. As of now I'm still tagging everyone that's on my Remus taglist but if people want I'll make a separate one just for the series

Series Masterlist Taglist

Remus laid on the couch, his arm covering his eyes. He could hear his friends whispering about him only a few feet away. They often talked about him and his condition in hushed tones like it was some sort of secret but there was no point. Remus knew what kind of monster he was; they didn’t need to pretend he didn’t. “Can you stop pretending I’m not here and speak at a higher volume so I can decipher what you’re saying?”

The whispering stopped at once. Remus peaked out from behind his arm to see the group of four moving from the doorway to surround him in the living room. Sirius lifted Remus’s legs and sat down, resting the werewolf’s feet on his lap. James and Peter sat on the floor while Lily stood behind the couch and busied herself looking at the new scars forming on Remus.

“Want to fill me in on your secrets?” Remus whispered, moving his arm so Lily could look at his face. Since she found out about his monthly issue, she had taken on a sort of motherly role. She was always checking on him and trying to feed him and do her best to help heal him but that was never her strongest magic. But it was nice to have her care so much for him even if he didn’t want to bother her.

“James was just filling us in on your trip to St. Mungos.” Sirius let the silence hang after he answered. Remus kept his eyes closed but he could feel everyone looking at him. When no one else spoke, Sirius continued. “Are you really going to let some random girl help you find a cure?”

Remus sighed and sat up with a groan, causing Lily to rush into the kitchen to grab some ice. “No, I’m not. I had no choice though since James wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“That’s going to be awkward.” Lily handed Remus the ice before she took a seat next to him on the couch. “James said she’s coming over here after her shift.”

Remus put the ice on his right shoulder, sinking into the couch. “When she gets here I’ll tell her that I changed my mind and she can leave. I don’t need her help. I have you guys and that’s all I need. There’s no reason for some random girl to give me pity and spend her time and my time making a cure that won’t work.”

“Why not?” Peter spoke up from the floor. “She wants to help so why not let her.”

“I don’t know her Wormtail. I don’t know a single thing about her besides the fact that she seems to think she can help me. She could be doing this because she has pity or because she thinks this will get her points in the medical field.” Remus felt like he was making fair points but the look on James’s face told him it wasn’t enough.

“Moons, I think we all know why you don’t want to accept help.” Remus watched James and shook his head. “I think you’re scared to be let down.”

Remus quickly stood, ignoring the way his body screamed in protest from the quick movements. He didn’t want to sit around and hear James’s ridiculous ideas. James may be one of his best friends but he didn’t know a single thing about this life that he was forced to have. He needed a walk, he needed air, he needed to get away from everyone for just a minute. It’s only been a few hours since he was out of control of his body and attacked by a hippogriff and forced to go to the hospital where a healer refused to take care of him because of what he is. Not to mention a random healer decided to wedge her way into his life to try and help him for whatever reason. He needed a nap.

Remus headed out to the small backyard and collapsed onto a plastic chair. He closed his eyes and felt like maybe he could relax for a few minutes before the door slid open and Lily walked out. Remus grew close to Lily during their last few years at Hogwarts and he was beyond thrilled that she joined the little group of misfits they had. She had a bond with Remus that none of the boys could ever come close to replicating. He loved his friends and he was closer to them than anyone else in the world but his bond with Lily was special. He thought that their relationship would be one like he could have had with a sister.

She pulled another chair over and sat next to Remus, handing him the ice pack that had fallen when he stormed off. “I suppose you’re here to convince me to go through with this.”

Lily sighed and shrugged. “Not really. I think you should give it a shot but you’re right. You don’t know her and while it seems nice that she wants to help, you don’t know why she would. James was just excited to know there was someone else that wanted to help.”

She carefully rested a hand on his arm. “We all just want you to be happy and to have a good life that you deserve. Everyone is just excited at the idea that maybe this healer could be the one to help that.” Lily glanced at a new scar on his arm. “And if she’s as good at potion making as she is at healing, then I think she really could help.”

Remus looked at his arm. He had plenty of scars all over his body but the one on his arm that you had fixed earlier that morning was harder to see than the others. In fact some of them you did such a good job that there was hardly any evidence he had been hurt there in the first place. You had done a better job than anyone else ever had so maybe that did bode well for a cure.

“Give her one month, just one chance to figure this out and if it seems to go well or you think she isn’t weird, then it can’t hurt to keep trying. It really can’t hurt to give her a shot.”

“Fine but just one month.” Lily smiled and left Remus alone with his thoughts as she went back inside. He would agree to one month of help but Lily was wrong. This could end up hurting so many people. Remus had been hurt by strangers and friends but nothing hurt more than getting his hopes up only to have reality come crashing down on him and continuing to be a monster. This could hurt a lot.

Taglist

@100gaysnails @weasleybuns @s1aaaaayyyyyyyt @steelthistle @asuperconfusedgirl @jsjcue @Andy200700 @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @daisydark @creepybloodykitty2 @avatheveela @themarauderswife7 @Mintyme101

[greywindys]

Share your thoughts on the final of BNHA once you finished it, please

Yes! Sorry, I'm late. I was away this weekend, so I actually still haven't had the chance to read the official translation, but these are some of my thoughts that I'm going to try to limit to a few paragraphs (feel blessed that I don't subject this blog to all of my anime tangents).

The tl;dr version is...whelmed, but more positive than negative.

I don't hate the ending as much as some people, but I can also admit that it's a tough one for fans who aren't there for Bakugou or Deku, and even then, there still feels like there are chunks missing from their respective stories.

Obviously, I'm mostly into this series for Bakugou. I would argue, objectively, that he has the most dynamic and satisfying arc in the series overall. For someone who seems to be more of an artist than a storyteller (this isn't to say he's terrible or anything, I actually think he's good at this too), Hori did a pretty good job with him. I'd say he fulfilled he promise to treat his story with care. I wish we had more inner thoughts, more conversations. The biased part of me thinks there should have been more recognition for what he contributed to the final battle. But then another part of me thinks, well, it's in character for Bakugou to want to keep those moments (i.e. what happened with Shiggy) private. We should have at least gotten a scene of AM signing his card. But I also knew we wouldn't because I, to this day, still believe that was a random thing Hori threw onto his death fakeout to make it seem more tragic, and not because he genuinely wanted it to be a part of Bakugou's story line. I'll stand by this! But he should've signed his card.

Idk if I'm in the minority about this yet or not, but I don't mind Deku's ending. It was surprisingly, refreshingly, bittersweet. This series has, in the past come across as too optimistic for me. I was full expecting everything to ~work out, and I mean, it still kinda did? But Deku losing his quirk, everyone growing apart and moving onto their respective adult lives, that's all very real. But I also don't think that takes away from Deku's identity as a hero. Those who expected him to end the series as the strongest, most admired, rich etc, hero perhaps have forgotten that Deku was never motivated by any of those. He's in it because he genuinely care for humanity and wants to help others, and he continues to do that into his adulthood, with or without a quirk. I don't think we're supposed to pity him, and it's too bad that's what some are doing. He's happy! And we see the impact he's made on everyone at the end.

At the same time, the absence of Deku's inner monologues in particular, create a weird distance from him, and wish Hori had brought it back in the final chapters. We never really got to know what he thought about the final battle. And even outside of him, I surprised at how much was skimmed over re: other important characters (Todoroki, Aizawa, Dabi, etc.).

But it it was burnout, I get it. Having written a fic that took two and a half years of monthly updates, I get it. I, too, received feedback calling part of my ending rushed, and I agreed. I knew it was rushed! I would get to certain points in the chapter and realize that the paragraph I was working on could be its own chapter. But I was just ready to be finished writing it (I love the story to this day, don't get me wrong), I didn't want to expand it anymore. So, I can't imagine what I would feel like after 10 years. So, I can't be that angry. In some ways, the loose ends leave a lot for the fandom to work with, and I know it'll inspire many amazing works.

So yeah, I thought the ending had its strong points and its weak points. But I appreciate some of the choices Hori made. I hope he can get his rest now lol.

[danganwhatnow]

Otome Notes- Kissed By The Baddest Bidder: An Ota Kisaki Introspective, Part 1

Kissed By The Baddest Bidder is an otome game originally published on mobile by Voltage Inc, currently available in a condensed form on the Nintendo Switch, and in its entirety on the mobile app Love365.

The premise of the game is that you(the MC) are a maid working for the Ichinomiya Group's Tres Spades Hotel and Casino, a fancy hotel in Japan, the first ever to feature a casino.

Through a series of unfortunate events, you break something irreplaceable and find out the hard way that the popular celebrity event held monthly at your hotel is actually a cover for an underground black market auction.

When you're put up for auction without your consent, the CEO (and your boss)Eisuke, and his fellow VIP buddies quickly determine that the best course of action is to bid on you themselves, to cover their own asses and make sure you don't give away their secrets.

Along with Eisuke Ichinomiya, there are also 4 other men to choose from originally: Soryu Oh, a Hong Kong mobster, Mitsunari Baba, a self proclaimed thief, Mamoru Kishi, a detective, and finally, Ota Kisaki, the "Angelic Artist".

Ota is a 24 year old artistic prodigy who is known for his angelic looks and personality. When you meet him briefly before the auction, he strikes you as a really nice guy, so you decide to choose him as seemingly the safest option.

And then, he speaks.

Yikes. Ota's 'reason' for buying you is that you remind him of his former dog, Koro. He insists on treating you like a pet, at least insofar as he addresses you as 'Koro', you stay in his room, you 'obey your master'(think 'come when you're called, sit, stay, shake' type things), and you give him love and affection, which he will then return to you, as any good 'owner' would.

Originally when I first played the game, I saw this as a creepy pet fetish and it weirded me out a lot. I mean, don't get me wrong, it is quite weird, no matter how you slice it.

I also want to note for the record, I myself do NOT have any kind of fetish nor do I indulge in pet play myself, so when I refer to this aspect of his character, I only have the limited information that I've searched out on the internet, and no personal knowledge or experience of my own to offer.

Like I mentioned above, this aspect of his character really put me off at first, but upon replaying it, and playing many other Voltage titles, I've realized more and more that I just can't bring myself to dislike Ota, even though he can be creepy and quite toxic.

So today I sat down and played the whole Season 1 Main Story in one sitting, and this is the culmination of what I've noticed about Ota as a character.

From the very beginning, I found this statement of Ota's very telling. This is what he loved about Koro and this is what he wants from 'someone', but since he sees Koro in you, it's you he intends to get it from.

When you first meet Ota, he's all smiles and kindness, but soon after meeting him, you discover he has a dark, nasty side to him.

He has a very high wall between himself and most others and doesn't hesitate to speak his mind regardless of how it comes across around people he trusts or knows well.

With you, though, Ota is different most of the time. Because to him, you're not (MC), you're 'Koro'. As long as you follow his orders, he is nothing but sweet to you.

He definitely doesn't care what you think about it though.

I looked into the idea of his fetish, which appears to be something known as 'pet play', where a couple role plays being a puppy or their 'handler' (aka owner), from a submissive/dominant perspective.

It seems by this definition to be something much more sexual than the situation that Ota puts the MC into, but it was the closest fit I could find that made sense to the story, so it's what I rolled with for the purpose of this article.

According to the information I've been able to find on this type of 'play', consent is EXTREMELY important between the sub and dom, and if there is no consent, it's abuse.

That's where the concept of Ota having a fetish in the truest sense of the word didn't sit right with me, because while there is no consent between Ota and MC here, I'd also argue that within the confines of the situation, there is also no abuse.

At the same time, I never sense anything sexual about the whole 'pet/owner' thing between the MC and Ota. When things get spicy between them, that is when he lets down his guard and acknowledges her as the human (and woman) she is.

There is no doubt he absolutely does treat her like a dog. That part does grate on a person's nerves quite a bit. I mean, obviously she doesn't want to be treated like a dog, and it's extremely rude of him to do so.

I just can't help but notice how sweet he is to her when he's in 'owner' mode, though.

Here he shows real concern for her when she's being bullied by Erika into doing all this mending by herself, and when she bursts into tears, he comforts her and then steps in to make sure it doesn't happen again.

The next couple of screenshots I will post are examples of the 'pet-like' behaviors he wants to see from her. Relatively harmless stuff, and I absolutely believe there's a deeper reason for it then even he realizes at this point.

Slowly but surely, he doesn't relinquish control over her, but he does start to dote on her much more, going out of his way to do things for her and make sure that she's having fun and enjoying herself.

When things get heavy and a rival of Ota's tries to interfere with his career, both the MC and Ota let their guards down, and MC doubles down on her 'pet' role, telling Ota that a pet's role is to 'comfort their master, right?'

This is where things get dicey. I keep coming back to this part of the story again and again, because things just don't fit into place in a way that I'm satisfied with.

I didn't think anything of it originally, but on an episode of a podcast I watched specifically ABOUT Kissed By The Baddest Bidder, they mentioned that the ensuing sexual encounter between MC and Ota was not consensual.

I had to go back and watch the episode again, where I absolutely saw where the ladies were coming from. But, it still didn't feel right. So I played through it again, and again. There are 3 crucial statements that she makes here that to me, illuminate her state of mind.

When he makes it clear that it's headed in a sexual direction, MC panics, and this is what she thinks.

The next thought that she forms insinuates that she's on board, or at least, not actively objecting anymore.

I don't exactly recall what happens next between them, but then she says this:

When I read that, I thought to myself that maybe I was wrong, because even though she was nervous at first, at this point both her body and her mind seem to be into it. At least when I hear the phrase 'fills my heart with warmth' I think of deep affection, if not love.

So after reading that, I didn't feel nearly as grossed out when she strokes his head and thinks about how she might be in love with him. It definitely started out uncomfortable for her, but I think in the end it was a consensual meeting of bodies, if nothing else.

I don't think that their intentions necessarily aligned here, which might be where it feels more icky that it might otherwise.

All Ota seems to have realized at this point is that he 'needs' her and that she makes him feel good.

Once they return to the hotel, however, Ota's treatment of the MC changes. He's much more possessive of her, he's less patronizing, and he shows more interest in her as a person than he seemed to prior.

Yes, he still refers to her as Koro and leans on the comfort of being her 'owner', but there are many moments where the walls come down and Ota speaks to her as an equal and a woman without even realizing it, like when he goes out for karaoke with her, or when he tells her he'll draw her one day.

In his POV of Season 1, he thinks some telling things in those moments. Like when they're at karaoke:

The owner thing only comes into play at that point when she oversteps his internal boundaries and pushes his comfort zone, like when she worries out loud about the situation with Rin and that douchey reporter.

He pushes her away, and it hurts her, but when he's away from her, he realizes that not only does he miss her, but he thinks of her as more than a pet.

When she runs away to prevent the auctions from being exposed and making things harder on Ota, he finally acknowledges her as human to him.

The thing about Ota is, he has a tendency to tell the truth and then cover it up with an arrogant, cocky tangent, so you don't necessary catch it.

It's such a heartfelt, loving moment. But then...

Bullshit, Ota.

I believe Ota has a psychological condition known as Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Reactive Attachment Disorder is, in a nutshell, a condition which inhibits a person's ability to form healthy connections/relationships with people.

This is a list of symptoms attributed to the condition:

Detachment

Withdrawal from connections

Inability to develop and maintain significant relationships, romantic or otherwise

Inability to show affection

Resistance to giving and receiving love despite craving it

Control issues

Anger problems

Impulsivity

Sense of distrust

Inability to fully grasp emotions

Feelings of loneliness and emptiness

Lack of a sense of belonging

I feel like you see many of these behaviors out of Ota during this storyline, and not so much of the more toxic, overtly sexual aspects of the implied pet fetish. (Not that the fetish itself is toxic, but due to the blatant disregard for consent, Ota's version would definitely be)

So to me, Ota's whole 'Koro' thing simply comes from a place of wanting connection and feeling like the only place he ever got that and ever will get it, is from a loving pet.

When you think of it that way, it's really sad, honestly.

And just like any person/partner struggling with childhood trauma, Ota backslides into toxic behavior throughout the rest of his story. He also definitely keeps that mask firmly on his face for the rest of the world.

As you continue on into more of Ota's story, you learn more about his background, why he struggles to trust, and his distant familial relationships growing up.

Perhaps it's easier for me to come to this conclusion having more of that background than some people who've played Ota's Season 1 story and then put it down due to the ick factor. That's more than fair.

That's why I decided to break this up into parts, and I'm going to play through the rest of the Switch content and add more to this as I go.

Kissed By The Baddest Bidder actually has some really interesting storylines and well fleshed out characters, but unfortunately, in some cases you have to dig a bit deeper to get the full nuance of it all.

I 100% intend to purchase the rest of his content via the DLC on the Switch and then the other stories on Love365 as well, so I can get the full picture.

I just really felt the urge to put pen to paper as it were and give Ota the benefit of the doubt a little, cause I just think this guy needs a big hug.

Please comment either here or on my Twitter @DanganWhatNow and let me know what you think, I'm interested to hear other people's thoughts and opinions also!

Thanks for reading!

[workandworthcoach]

Know Your Why, Shape Your Future: A Guide for Professionals in Career Transition

This is from my "New Year, New Job Is Still Possible" Series. You can listen to the podcast episode from this series here.

Hello, my career pivoter friends! Let's talk about something that often gets buried under stacks of resumes, job postings, and LinkedIn connections: your why. Yes, that's right—understanding your life goals and the way you want to live can be the secret sauce to making big career decisions, including if you should stay or go in your existing field and "what next?" Grab your morning beverage of choice, get cozy, and let's dive into how knowing your why can guide you through the labyrinth of seemingly infinite career choices.

The Power of Knowing Your Why

Imagine you're on a road trip without a map or GPS (or pretend it's 2001 and you don't have your MapQuest printout). You might end up somewhere fun, but chances are you'll also waste a lot of time driving in circles. Similarly, having clear life goals acts like your personal GPS for career decisions. It helps you stay focused on what truly matters to you and steers you away from distractions. It's so easy to get stuck making career decisions based on what old you wanted. And sometimes old you is quite old, like 10 year old you. But a lot has changed since then! Knowing what current you wants will help you make better decisions.

When I first started coaching professionals transitioning from meaningful work fields like education and healthcare, I noticed a common theme: many were unsure about their next steps because they hadn't pinpointed their core motivations. They had gotten into their original field because it either held meaning for them or told them something about themselves, but with those initial feelings gone, folks were lost. They didn't know why they were doing what they were doing or why they didn't want to anymore so how could they possibly know what to do instead?

Reflecting on Your Life and Core Motivations

So, how do you find your why? Start by reflecting on your core motivation. What drives you? Is it creativity, helping others, financial stability, or maybe a mix of several things? List them out—no need to be fancy; just jot them down on a piece of paper or in a notes app.

Maybe your why isn't a core motivation. Instead maybe it's the way you want to live. Do you not care so much how you make your money but want to make it to your kids' soccer games? Maybe you want to spend more time with your parents while they're still able to get around well and go on trips. Perhaps you just want to not always be stressing about making your monthly bills.

I remember working with Sarah (names changed throughout to protect people's privacy), a teacher who felt burnt out but was hesitant to leave her job. A pension would be hers in just a few short years! Through our conversations, we discovered her core values weren't connected to her work, but her life. She wanted to get outside, move her body every day, and make enough money to buy a house. This realization helped her decide that it didn't matter so much what she did for work, but what the work allowed her to do.

Setting Long-Term Goals

Once you've identified your core motivation, it's time to set the practical goals that would define that life. Think big! What would does it look like?

Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, or even 20 years? Don't worry about the specifics just yet; focus on the broader picture. Do you envision leading a team, starting your own business, or perhaps working remotely while traveling the world? Where do you live? Who is with you? How do you spend your days? Really envision where we want to go.

I once worked with a small business owner named Robert who dreamed of working on big client projects where he got to execute on a full, creative vision without the penny pinching he experienced with his current small business clients. By setting this long-term goal, he was able to make smaller career moves that eventually led him to his current position heading creative marketing.

Aligning Career Choices with Life Goals

Now comes the fun part—aligning your career choices with those long-term goals. This is where knowing your why really shines. When faced with multiple opportunities or when considering a major career change, ask yourself: Does this move bring me closer to my ultimate life goals?

Do you need a job that's flexible? Do you need it to be remote? Do you need to make at least $100k? Do you need a specific benefit, like IVF coverage? Do you need a boss who doesn't need to be managed?

Write it down! Outline it. Journal your heart out. Or one of my favorites, record yourself talking through the ideas. I personally do this when I am out on a walk. Movement, being outside, and talking—my favorite activities.

Take Mary from the nonprofit sector. She loved helping people but had become disenchanted with the nonprofit industrial complex. Her core motivation was still connecting to helping people, as it was when she first started her career, but she no longer felt like there was only one way to do it. She transitioned into a lower level position that actually paid better and focused her attention on getting a degree in counseling so she could help people in a way that more closely matched her new "why."

Getting Comfortable with Our New Why

Our goals shift as we grow and evolve. I personally believe that society, our families, and our schools shape our identity when we're small humans, and as we grow up, we have a chance to slowly become more and more of ourselves. With self work and healing, we become the people we would have been without those outside influences.

If we're becoming more of ourselves, of course our why, core motivation, and life goals will change.

Embracing Flexibility

Since we're changing as we become more of ourselves, we might not be done evolving when doing this work. (Will we ever be done?!?!) That’s okay! Embrace flexibility as you learn more. Change is good. Adjusting your vision will change your career choices.

If new opportunities arise that resonate with you deeply—even if they weren't part of your original plan—consider them seriously.

I once coached Tom from sports management on a career pivot where we ended up exactly where we started from, except with significantly more pay, more power, and a heck of a lot more understanding as to why this indeed was the right path for him.

Practical Steps to Implement Your Why

Alright, enough already—let's get practical! Here are some actionable steps:

Self-Assessment: Take personality tests like High 5 or Sparketype to gain insights into what you love and what makes you tick.

Vision Board: Create a vision board with images and quotes that represent your life goals and values. I like to do this in Canva.

Mentorship: Seek mentors who align with your aspirations—they've been there and done that. I wrote about finding a mentor here.

Skill Inventory: Discover your transferable skills you already have that can help pivot towards roles aligning with your why. I created a super short DIY course on transferable skills that you can find here.

Do Some Research: Listening to podcasts from your potential new field can be eye-opening.

Continuous Learning: Stay curious and keep learning through courses or workshops relevant to your evolving goals. I love LinkedIn Learning and Coursera for this, as well as taking advantage of everything your current org offers.

Conclusion: Trust the Process

Understanding your why isn't an overnight epiphany; it's a journey filled with self-discovery and reflection. But trust me—it’s worth every moment spent pondering. Whether you're contemplating leaving healthcare for tech or moving from non-profit work to corporate gigs, knowing your why and how your career choices support that will act as your North Star.

So go ahead—dig deep into what you want your life to look like and what impact you want to make in the world and let those insights guide whether you stay or go and your "what next." Life is too short to spend timing doing what doesn't serve you.

Looking for support in this process? Start a free virtual strategy session with me now.

[thequietmanno1]

TheLreads, Vigilantes ch 101, Replies Part 1

1) “Are you ready for some Vigilantes? Rhetorical question, it doesn’t matter, because we’re about to jump in. So last time Aizawa sacrificed himself to hold the nomu back so Koichi could rush to the hospital.”- The only thing Aizawa sacrificed was his dignity in pretending that he totally isn’t helping a legally-recognised villain save the day because he has a soft spot for him. Even the Drones could see that, and they don’t have eyes! 2) “Hey Aizawa, nice cover there, shame that you don’t work with criminals, right?”- We could probably term it “cooperation under Duress”, like with how the League and Nighteye’s group “cooperated” to take down the Hassaki.

3) “Not that Phelps can do something but I think it’d be nice for him to know of the impeding doom coming his way. It would help him have some time to make amends with his god.”- Honestly, Koichi’s dash was really more about reaching Soga, who’s nearby Phelpes, than it was reaching the man himself. Face it, if we want something done to effectively upset Nomura’s plans, it’s gonna come from Soga and not the police. 4) “Koichi. You can go up the walls. That’s as much a problem to you as the weather in New York right now. And if you think Aizawa was unaware of them then you’re not putting much faith in our favorite hobo.”- To be fair, it’s not like they had a lot of time together to build up a buddy-cop dynamic. Koichi’s probably unable to see through the obvious Tsundere attitude that’s fooling nobody else because of his own inbuilt denseness. 5) "Alright Aizawa, I’d say how you’re somehow even more of a tsundere than in the main series, but I had to take a double take.

Are you considering Koichi an amateur? Because that would imply that although he is not a pro hero, he’s certainly on his way there, he just needs more experience.

Is that what you’re implying Aizawa?”- Intense combat from being mobbed from all sides means that Aizawa’s not thinking as clearly about what he’s saying in the heat of the moment. Besides, he’s right, by this point, everybody can see that Koichi’s just an under-trained hero in the making, with only the pesky legal red tape getting in his way. 6) “YEAH THERE GOES MY BOY! 

LOOK AT HIM FLYING!”- No regrets to weigh him down, only motivation pushing himself forward.

7) “Don’t worry Aizawa, they weren’t paying any attention anyway. Otherwise the shockwave caused by your tsundere aura would have obliterated them.”- These drones are brainless, but if they did have one, they’d be rolling their eyes at Aizawa’s….oh, wait.

8) ““I-It’s not like I hate you guys or anything- at all! uwu~ bakas!” -Aizawa, before warning me if I do this joke one more time he’ll physically strangle me through the computer screen.”- Just needed to raise the finger one more digit to the right….

9) “Alright, back to Koichi and his skipping. Let us see how many hops it takes to get to the hospital.”- More than he can be bothered to care to count, or let himself slow down for.  10) “Well, time to surpass your limits there my boy. Plus ultra and all that

been quite some time since I last saw anyone mentioning plus ultra tbh.”- When lives are on the line, that’s when Koichi can truly go plus Ultra, which means that keeping him away from the danger of the Villain Factory and its plans actually handicapped his learning potential. 11) “Well I sure hope it’s not heaven, because if you don’t go beyond your limits that’s exactly where you’ll end at. After a brief encounter with the pavement below, that is.”- Naw, but Nomura’s certainly going to wind up going straight to hell when they finally clash in an all-out Deathmatch. 11) “oh who’s that character? I have no idea- no wait I think I remember her, she showed up sometimes before. Where did ended up at? Huh? The fridge? Yeah, that’s a possibility, most female characters end up there in those stories. Now if only if I could remember her name…”- Hey, at least you didn’t have to deal with the monthly chapter release schedule extending the time she was absent for even longer. @thelreads

[graciereadshannigram]

hey fam, my spreadsheet is FINALLY up to date so i am FINALLY getting back to the monthly rec lists! here's the cream of the crop from July :)

as a reminder: the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.

that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes and as such, is incredibly subjective.

you can find past recs below:

February March April May June

and if you have any recs of your own for me, PLEASE SHARE.

without further ado, let's go!

One Way Out of Many by hellotailor

Word Count: 59937 Summary: Hannibal planned to keep Will in the dark about his encephalitis so he could watch that brilliant mind burn itself up and become something new. In a world without daemons, he might have got away with it.An AU incorporating elements of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials series, beginning partway through the first season of Hannibal. Due to the existence of daemons, the course of the Chesapeake Ripper case is drastically altered — and so too is the relationship between Hannibal and Will.

Everybody say "Thank you, Serri" because this fic was SO GOOD. I didn't know how I'd feel about the mortal instruments crossover, but it was highly enjoyable.

Long Flights Can Be Torture by ThisIsMyDesignHannibal

Word Count: 6334 Summary: Will and Hannibal are finally flying to somewhere they hope to settle down. Will’s nerves are making him restless…but how better to entertain himself then by toying mercilessly with the man he loves? Will wants to see just how far he can coax Hannibal out from behind that impeccable person-suit, preying on his insatiable attraction, and pushing him as far as he can…just, you know, for fun. Hey, long flights can be torture!

Will flirting with the stewardess?? Secret butt plugs???

certain dark things by multifandom_fanfic_writer

Word Count: 28090 Summary: “Now, you will kneel.”Will opens his mouth and issues his Command. And Hannibal, who has spent forty-four years defying his dynamic, who has never once in his life followed anyone’s commands--falls to his knees.

Blood Will Have Blood by idonthaveyourappetite

Word Count: 13481 Summary: Will and Hannibal are living in a post WotL limbo, a sexless pretense at domesticity full of tension and frustration. Will, unable to get over his guilt and complicity in their new life together, has been holding that part of himself back, but subconsciously hopes that Hannibal will push him, HARD, to take that next step. Hannibal, although increasingly frustrated, has been infuriatingly patient with him. Finally realizing that patience isn’t helping either of them, Hannibal forces Will to confront and accept his desire, giving him exactly what he needs. Their first time is exactly how they both need it to be.

And Cure His Heart by ThisIsMyDesignHannibal

Word Count: 10460 Summary: Will’s irritability and frustration have been mounting since going on the run, and Hannibal has been bearing the brunt of it. Unconsciously craving one particular way Hannibal can help him quiet his whirring mind, it’s time for Will to face up to what he needs, swallow his pride, and ask for it. This time, however, actions speak more eloquently than words ever could. Relinquishing control can be its own form of therapy. Relief is often found in surrender.

Oh my God, Will not knowing how to ask Hannibal for what he needs? And the devastation when Hannibal realizes how he's been neglecting Will? Chefs kiss, perfection.

I'll Take Care of You by sourweather

Word Count: 6339 Summary: After an Acute Stress Reaction and continued trauma at work leave Will feeling desperate for release, Hannibal reveals that he has a very effective technique for Letting Go

Whoops, I like fics where Will is put into subspace as "therapy" SUE ME.

Cuisine Euphonique by thecountessolivia

Word Count: 35335 Summary: Nightmares brought on by a gruesome case lead Will to some unorthodox therapy in the form of a YouTube cooking channel.[Completed]

This fic was absolutely incredible and I desperately wish I could read it for the first time all over again.

Hannibal Lecter and the Great Cat-astrophy of 1812 by slut_arc

Word Count: 1582 Summary: If Will Graham knows one thing about owning dogs (and a cannibal), waking to complete silence is suspicious.Whatever could be distracting Hannibal and the dogs so greatly that they left the house without even eating breakfast?

cat dad Hannibal cat dad Hannibal!!!

the distance is quite simply much too far for me to row by softhan

Word Count: 15355 Summary: Hannibal is having a rough time recovering from his injuries post-fall, and retreats into himself to avoid confrontation with Will while he's still weak and ill. Having to play happy husbands hardly helps

Fake relationship AND vulnerable Hannibal??? it hurts, but it's worth it.

Consenting to Dream by emungere

Word Count: 32188 Summary: A seduction through physical objects. It starts with a scarf loaned to Will on a cold day, but Hannibal, as usual, isn't satisfied with anything small.

Possibly one of the sweetest sugar daddy fics I could imagine reading, oh my god, I love them so much. Will having to get comfortable with allowing someone to care for him? OUCH.

Conduit by mokuyoubi

Word Count: 9288 Summary: No one has ever known Will as well as Hannibal, and if only he could get over his reservations, he knows that they could be amazing together. Hannibal, happy to have Will in whatever capacity he is able, is only too willing to give Will anything he wants, even if it's someone other than himself.Or, Hannibal watches while Will has sex with a woman, and Will gets off on how much Hannibal gets off on it, and voila, sexuality crisis averted!

This was very hot, 10/10.

I Don't Even Like Lana Del Rey by perpetuallycaffeinated

Word Count: 4328 Summary: Will’s thoughts were going in a very inappropriate direction, and he had a growing suspicion that they were being led in that direction by a firm, determined hand. He gave another half-hearted bark of a laugh and threw back the remaining coffee like a shot. “Maybe Zeller and Price changed the wrong number’s ringtone. Jack’s not the one listening to me when I feel like I’m coming unhinged and feeding me the best damn food I’ve ever eaten in my life.”“No,” Hannibal agreed quietly, “he is not.”The tension and low thrum of arousal were making Will speak impulsively. He knew this, but he’d just finished his drink. There was nothing he could use to stop the question, blunt and presumptuous and rude.“So, what, you’re my daddy?”

Dancing with the Beast by proser

Word Count: 86347 Summary: In order to catch a mediocre serial killer, Will must pose as Hannibal's date for a series of pretentious social events.Hannibal is dramatic and jealous as ever, and Will is having a great time without the encephalitis. Of course, it's a love story.

FAKE RELATIONSHIP AND IT'S SO GOOD.

Never Conquered, Rarely Came by thisisthefamilybusiness

Word Count: 3242 Summary: Normally, this is the part where Will would pick up his cell phone and leave an anonymous tip on the police crime hotline, tell them there was a cannibalistic serial murderer lurking around the area code of the phone number given in the ad. But not today. Not when his very bones ache and all the raw and bruised places on his skin throb in time with his pulse. Not when exhaustion is slowly eating away at him in a way that has nothing to do with how little he slept last night.Not when these ink-stains on his fingertips and the man behind them are his last chance to get away.Fill for HannibalKink for this prompt: "Will is in an abusive relationship but can't see a way out - he's tried to leave before, but his partner is in law enforcement and always manages to track him down while pretending to be the understanding, forgiving, loving type. One day, Will stumbles across an ad in the Classifieds of the cleverly worded cannibal-seeking-fresh-meat-but-veiled-as-private-cooking-classes type, and decides to answer. Hannibal is pleased when his ad bears fruit, then surprised when his intended dinner apparently knows exactly what he's in for."

this starts off TOUGH, but it's such an interesting concept and it really is a happy ending.

[this-is-for-my-memoir]

Today was hard... and repeat

For some context, things have been really good. Very good.

Job: excellent, busy, fulfilling.

Friendships: there and just what I need.

Relationship: on impulse I was going to write great, but in reality it's not so great because of the next line item. At the same time we are planning our wedding, it's literally 2 months away....

Mental health: literal garbage. Hot, stinky, garbage.

If we refer back to my previous post for a moment, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Panic Disorder. I've dabbled in depression, back in college, it wasn't great. But for the most part, my mental health has been too busy with anxiety to handle any other problems. Like, "No thank you, these panic attacks are enough."

But then I got my first taste of depression again four years ago. I had lost a job I loved (the business closed after a series of unfortunate events...) and then got a new job that I was so excited for but it was killing my spirit. I would ride the bus to work in the mornings and on the ride we passed a hospital and there were too many mornings where i thought to myself that I should go check myself in because I cannot handle going to work.

It got so bad that my partner (now fiance) told me I could quit my job and he would take care of everything because I was so miserable. That was not an option though, I needed a job to keep the anxiety at bay. If I'm busy then there is no time to be anxious.

Anyways, I found another job, its the job I'm at now. I love this job. Well as everything was just going 100% - job great, relationship great, everything great. I would get this monthly crash into the worst depression I've ever felt in my life. I didn't place it at first but then I started to track my symptoms. I've been playing this mental health game for too long for this to just sneak by me. It came and went with my cycle. My symptom tracking allowed my psychiatrist to diagnose me with PMDD and she readjusted my medication.

I've been dragging my feet to write the words but the PMDD also brought along some terrifying suicidal ideation. That's been the worst part. Where I'm at now, I've been living with thoughts of wanting to die for two years. There are moments where I'm totally fine, like those feelings are in the past, but then out of nowhere they come creeping up again. The world's worst fog. Right now I'm in a phase where they are creeping up again. I had my bridal shower, I was so excited to get dressed up and see my family and friends. By the time it was over all I wanted to do was to get in bed. I couldn't handle being around people. And then later that evening it wasn't just the being around people it was the heaviness of that horrible suicidal fog hanging over me.

While that fog has been hanging over me I'm also up in my own head telling myself: you shouldn't feel this way, there are so many good things happening, why are you not happy.

I guess as start to wrap up whatever post this is I feel like looping that last statement back around. I've always felt like my anxiety isn't real, I'm making it all up in my head. I'm doing it all for attention. I'm feeling like this fog is hanging so low over me for NO REASON.

I very frequently have to remind myself that my brain is just broken. I didn't experience trauma to have this anxiety, I was just quite literally born like this.

Anyways, my brain is broken, so I take paxil daily, but right now it's not working really well so I need to ask my doctor and therapist about it and that's the whole thesis of this entry.

[sunfish-studies]

Period Lecture

✄・・・ Crisp Leaves [Aoba Johsai Manager Series]

➜ Pairing: Aoba Johsai x Manager! Reader

➜ Warning: period, mentions of bleeding, mentions of cramps

➜ Notes: Manager in this story will be portrayed as a girl. She will be tall, around 170.5 cm.

↷ SUMMARY ↶

You’re kind of grateful and proud all of them for taking this… rather seriously?

As a manager, re-stocking the team’s needs is one of your duties–which means, when the school’s monthly allowance come it’s time for you to go on a short trip to the supermarket and sport’s supplies shop while bringing a grocery list.

This is also a way to unwind from the suffocating gym–slightly refreshing relief rather than just being cooped up in one place. Usually, there were you and another member tag along in case the groceries piled up and it was impossible being carried alone. Sometimes, Coach Irihata let the whole team tag along just so they didn’t get too bored.

Shopping trips were also a great moment for you to buy anything you need with your own allowance, of course. It’s like killing two birds with one stone.

“This is kind of the place men usually avoid as much as possible,” you commented, before snorting in amusement. “I’m surprised you tailed me here without hesitation.

All you said was true–your boys did follow you even until you stood in front of a high shelve filled with womanly needs. Yes, you’re talking about sanitary pads for monthly period routine.

“We kind of want to know somethings,” Matsukawa didn’t even pull out his punches. “And if we know maybe we can help you in some way.”

“True, true!” Oikawa agreed, pulling out a sanitary package of 12–eyeing it nervously. “Still, I didn’t know the brands are this many…”

“I thought you’re used to this from your previous girlfriends,” Iwaizumi deadpanned.

“Well, I’ll try to explain as easy as possible, so ask away,” you remarked, reaching out for your usual brand and dumping it into the grocery cart. Since the stock at home was already diminishing, you need to piled it up again, so you bought quite a many.

“Uhm, why are there wings and non-wings…?” Hanamaki frowned, staring at the packaging with bold letters ‘with wings’ on it. “What’s the difference?”

“The ‘wings’ means extra material right here,” you answered, pointing out to the sheets on the sides of the pad. “It will fold over the edges so the pad will stay securely in place. Extra prevention for possible leaks.”

“And the s-size are so many…” Kindaichi stuttered. It was true, though. A few packages were in 29 cm, and gradually the size increased from 35 cm even to 42 cm.

“We have heavy duty days,” you explained. “So, instead of wearing the short-regular ones, we opted for the long ones so we don’t to worry too much about leaking. Usually, the ones that extremely long are the night-pads.”

And there went you explaining many things to them in the end–about it would be better to wear pads which has no scent as precautions to allergies, about the ‘day’ and ‘night’ types, and possibly anything they had their curiosity on.

It’s kind of endearing on how they were eager to learn, good for their future significant other–they care enough to prepare for the future and not embarrassed themselves in some way from the lack of knowledge.

There were even girls and older women whispering about how precious your boys are for wanting to know. It made you proud in having such responsible people around.

“Do you have cramps at around the time of the month, senpai?” Kunimi questioned–once you got everything you need, he volunteered to help you in carrying the heavy plastic bags. Now, all of you were on your way back to school.

“I do,” you answered, sighing when you remembered the natural pain that always accompanying your period. “Remember when I don’t show up for at least a day or two every month? It’s because of cramps. It’s torturing, you literally had your insides being smushed together.”

Yahaba went pale in just a matter of seconds. “Just thinking about it already makes my stomach hurts…”

“How do you handle it, senpai?” Watari asked, which made you hummed in wonder.

“Most important will be having a nice hot compress.” You remarked. “It can either be anything as long as it’s warm. It lessened the pain, and if you couldn’t handle the pain even with hot compress you can drink pain relief medicine.”

“Tylenol, Paracetamol, Mefinal,” to your surprise, Kyotani was the one listing the pain relief medicine.

“You know a lot, Kyotani-kun!” you praised the blonde-haired boy. “I’m impressed!”

“My sister always kicked me out to buy one of those.” He replied gruffly.

“Does food really help?” Oikawa piped up. “My previous girlfriends always asked for snacks or drinks.”

“Sometimes, depending on the person,” you said, laughing nervously. “I’m not too eager to eat especially when I have cramps, but sometimes I craved chocolates, sweets, or even savory things just to indulge my hormone fluctuations.”

And that’s how your lecture went, and what surprised you the most was how it definitely being branded onto their mind. 

Amazingly, Iwaizumi had the period tracker app in his phone and even asked the date so he could prepare (this man is just truly impressive-). 

Oikawa would stop by in your class to drop small chocolate snacks or sweets just for you during your week of bleeding–wanting you to be comfortable as possible.

Your friend from another class almost went head over heels for Matsukawa because he had pads in his school bag when she’s desperately searching for one. Matsukawa mentioned that he wanted to be prepared because of their manager. 

Hanamaki didn’t even hesitate to do errands for you if you asked him–he’s just a call away he said, and wouldn’t shy away if you nervously asked if he could buy you your brand of pads in the supermarket.

Kyotani had his medicine ready anytime, if your cramps acted up he immediately shoved them to your hand along with warm lemon tea he fetched from the vending machine. 

Kindaichi and Kunimi constantly checked if you’re feeling well or not during practice, urging you to drink often and even pushing some sweets so you wouldn’t be too sluggish. 

Yahaba offered to bring you your bag or even taking over the duty of filling water bottles just so you could sit down and not moving too much. 

Meanwhile, Watari made sure to had at least one hot pack in his bag–if he noticed you wincing from pain, he instantly went to your side and gave you the hot pack to relief the pain.

When you’re out of duty because of intense cramps, the team stopped by at your house after practice–bringing along all of your favorite food, scented candles, or even anything that could lift your mood up.

Oh, you truly love your boys down to the very core.

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

I think Khonshu's nice to Jake because unlike Marc where he has leverage, or Steven where he has nothing, Khonshu's relationship with Jake is straightforward business. Jake wants the suit, Khonshu wants an Avatar. They each get something out of it, and it's all out on the table. There's no unspoken resentment or reluctance. Just a simple transaction, and the ability on both sides to pull out whenever.

While it is absolutely hilarious to me to picture Khonshu like he was in a few comic runs begging and pleading and doing anything he can to get Jake's attention "My good friend. My best buddy. My all time favorite avatar Jake Lockley.".... I will acknowledge that Jake does want a suit and a means to protect the system.

So now that you've tricked me into a Meta post, let's do this! I'm going to refer to a few things I've come across, though I cannot remember the posts or users that first brought them up. So thank you to my terrible sleep deprived memory for making me feel like a jackass and thank you to all the people that laid the groundwork for me!

O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, That monthly changes in her circled orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.

So there's a quote any Shakespeare casual reader should recognize. But there is an interesting thought. The moon is so variable. It pulls and pushes the tides. It eclipses the sun and is in turn eclipsed by the earth. It is ever changing and in turn, often romanticized to dance with the earth. It is also consistent and predictable in its cycle.

But Khonshu isn't just the moon. He reminds Steven that he is the god of the sky. Which is even more ever changing in mood and beauty.

Khonshu who could not let go of humanity and abandon it, but also does not know how to treat humanity once he is in direct contact with it.

He wants to love but only manipulates and abuses. He wants to protect and care for but only threatens and bullies.

He is decayed and weakened but he still has power.

He handles Marc roughly. He cares for Marc and trusts him immensely, but he also found Marc dying in a dumpster with a gun to his own head. He has seen inside and knows that Marc sees no self worth for himself. Marc has no reason to want to be protected. He has stated multiple times that he hoped the people he fought would win and kill him. So how does Khonshu protect and keep someone so utterly self destructive?

Give them something worth fighting for. Or in Khonshu's warped sense of how to handle things, scare him into compliance. If Marc fails a mission and dies, then Layla is obviously going to be his replacement.

When it comes to Steven, Khonshu straight up torments him. Steven is a threat to controlling Marc. So from Marc's early perspective, Khonshu threatens Steven and tries to scare him away. When Steven proves that isn't going to work, he switches gear from tormenting him and scaring him to going back to Marc and blaming Marc for not keeping Steven under control.

But why go after Steven at all? Why not strike a deal with Steven? Again, we have to go back to the more useful avatar in Khonshu's mind: Marc. While Steven is incredibly smart and learns to fight and even improves how Moon Knight functions as a system, Steven encourages Marc to start taking value of himself. He also encourages Marc to be less murder happy.

Over all, Khonshu has a better hold over Marc is Steven is not in the picture or being held as a threat over Marc.

If Marc is out of the picture, Khonshu lightens up and treats Steven with more respect. If given enough time alone with Steven, Khonshu would have entered into his nurturing phase for the first time in who knows how many years. (See amazing and long series of posts by other people about the phases of Khonshu of protector, nurture, and so on because damn that was good stuff).

But this isn't what Khonshu needs or wants right now. Ammit is a threat and so is Harrow. Khonshu thinks he needs Marc's brutality so he doesn't even try to find a way to keep Steven happy. He has nothing to hold over him at that time. If desperate enough, he would have found a way to hold Marc over him. Marc's vulnerability and Marc's tendency to self destruct. He could have offered Steven a hero position without the murder and Steven would have considered.

But why barter with a problem child like Steven when Jake is so much simpler? Steven is not yet aware of how destructive Marc is. He has only scratched the surface. JAKE on the other hand, who makes his life out of saving Marc and stopping the melt downs and attempted death by fight gimmicks Marc keep trying, knows exactly what the healing armor and protection is worth.

So once again, while Marc is and always will be Khonshu's main love, he will settle for Jake until the time is right to somehow get Marc back. Jake is just as valuable, after all.

But cleaver Khonshu also knows that Jake could be a bigger problem than Steven ever was. One wrong word or request and Jake isn't just out to drop him like a bad ex, Jake could turn around and straight up come for his decayed bird ass. He has to treat Jake right. Jake knows this. So they are at a mutual understanding right now. Honestly, I think Jake watched it all go down, including Steven's bargaining strategy. There's a good chance Jake is using Khonshu and they are both playing nice. It's a thin line.

BUT. Cleaver Khonshu has forgotten something about himself. He's been stuck in one phase for so long. Dealing with one Avatar for so long. Decaying and stuck in one frame of mind.

In the event that Marc, Jake, and Steven ever come to an understanding and learn to co-exist, AND still decide to be Moon Knight, Khonshu would be a full lunar cycle. HE COULD GET HIS FULL POWER BACK.

Now, this is just a personal theory of mine. But if Moon Knight was co-piloted by all three of them they would be more powerful of a force than any avatar he's ever had before. He may still resent Steven for how easily it would be for Steven to pull Marc out of their agreement and walk, and he may still treat Jake with kid gloves because Jake could turn the whole system on him...

ON ANOTHER SMALLER AND SIMILAR TANGENT:

Khonshu has family problems. Specifically father problems. Jake also has unresolved family problems that we don't yet know about. Khonshu was banished. Jake also has been self banished from interacting with the system in order to protect them.

If Ammut is representative of Marc's mother, Season two: Jake deals with his own problems with his banishment and father problems while Khonshu also deals with his banishment problems from his own family....

Khonshu inadvertently found his own connection with Jake. Season two please. Khonshu and Jake's wild ride into family resolutions.

WOW. I don't know where I went just there or if I even remotely answered any part of a question that absolutely wasn't asked... But here we are! ...Ta-dah!

[vodkassassin]

Inspired by your Jiuplane fic, Everyone loves SQH series and Nighthaunting's work.

Shen Jiu has never actually spared much attention to An Ding. While he doesn't consider them less-his past would never allow himself to look at anyone being derided for doing 'servant duties' less- he also doesn't pay much attention to them. Ever since Shang Qinghua modified the teleportation talismans for transporting large amounts of goods between the Peaks, An Ding disciples have all but disappeared from view. Shen Qingqiu occasionally saw a groundskeeper or a cook return back to An Ding but that was about it. He was pretty sure that people outside the sect saw more of the Logistics Peak than the people in it. And during meetings Shang Qinghua barely makes a sound, just records whatever was he was supposed to and just vanish off to his peak the minute the meeting inevitably ended in chaos. It was like An Ding never existed.......in hindsight, that should have been suspicious. But Shen Qingqiu never even noticed glaring absence and he would forever berate himself for that. It happened quite unexpectedly. Shen Qingqiu was supposed to go on mission with Qi Qingqi, the only Peak Lord he could tolerate beyond a certain period of time but Xuan Shu Peak suddenly had an emergency that she had to take care. Mu Qingfang was busy with preparing the Baying Moon Jade Orchid that he had been given (Really that should've tipped him off! Those flowers were ludicrously expensive because they only grow in the Demon Realm and Mu Qingfang had been given an entire crate of them along with his monthly supplies!), and the only other Peak Lords available were Liu Qingqe and Shang Qinghua. The choice was obvious.

The mission was relatively simple. Wan Jian disciples had been sent as a response to a request for assistance from a cluster of villages deep in a mountain valley. The disciples had found evidence of a large monster but it seemed to be intelligent and the presence of cultivators had run it off to a cave system. By the trails it left and it's actions, the lead disciple had judged it too dangerous for normal disciples, especially in the enclosed spaces of a cave system and had reported to his Peak Lord. The mission thus had been entered into the Peak Lords' roster. It should have been routine, should have been simple. But Shen Qingqiu had the world's worst luck and so everything turned sideways within ten minutes of them entering the cave.

First of all, the monster seemed to have destabilized the cave so they got caved in. Secondly, it wasn't a monster at all but a demonic beast, a Thousand Screams of Ruin Swan, a rabid thing that was created when someone forcibly corrupted a Thousand Screams Swan with too much demonic qi. And finally, the beasts absolutely hated each other. A Thousand Screams Swan had the ability to gauge the truth and a lie in its presence would not only prompt the most ear piercing of all screeches but also destabilizes the qi of the liar in particular and produce unimaginable pain. The southern demon courts use the swan in interrogations, putting the accused and the swan in enclosed spaces and the interrogators questioning from behind a sound muffling seal. However if the swan were overloaded with too much malicious qi, it would grow to enormous sizes and it's screech would actually cause death to anyone in the vicinity. In this state it was called a Thousand Screams of Ruin Swan. So after every interrogation the beast is taken for purification. The question is how a pair of valuable demonic beasts from the Southern Demon courts end up in a remote village far away from the borderlands?

If it was any other situation, Shen Qingqiu would've been fascinated. But as it was he had no time to dawdle. The confined space of the caves meant that the screeches of the swan would be magnified in intensity and their muffling shields were already cracking under the pressure of the sound waves. If they did, they would be dead as their qi system would be destabilized enough to cause a painful death. Shen Qingqiu, with his already unstable qi was extremely vulnerable in this situation. With Shang Qinghua having no combat ability to think of, they were completely under the mercy of two rabid S-rank demonic beasts who hated them and each other.

Then the shields cracked. Shen Qingqiu barely had time to close off his hearing using qi before Shang Qinghua disappeared into one of the caves with a beast after him. On one hand Shen Qingqiu now had to worry about only one Thousand Scream of Ruin Swan. On the other hand, no hearing was a double edged sword in a situation like this and there was no back up, negligible as it would have been. But he marshalled his focus and unsheathed Xiu Ya. If that overgrown bird thought that the Qing Jing Peak Lord was going down without a fight, it was wrong.

Two hours later the fight was still going on. His head was hurting only from being flung into the stone walls of the cave but also from sealing off his hearing for so long. The Beast's rampage had destroyed one of the cave walls and they had both fallen into a lake within the cave system. Shen Qingqiu had somehow managed to pull himself out of the water, not being stupid enough to fight a water fowl in water. He was exhausted, looked like a wet rag and was bleeding. There was no sign of Shang Qinghua and that either meant he was dead or that Shen Qingqiu was so far off from the main caves that he wouldn't be found in time. While the former was more likely, he at least hoped that Shang Qinghua made it to the surface and called for help because as much as he hated to admit it, that brute Liu Qingqe and his brutish sword would be helpful at the moment. He was tiring and his core couldn't hold on any longer while the beast was all but brimming in energy. It lunged and the Peak Lord futilely brought up his sword, knowing it wouldn't do anything, realizing that this was the end of Shen Jiu, dead by a rabid bird in a fucking cave. And then...there was light.

Lightning, there was lightning in the cave, huge arcs of it racing towards the beast and striking it over and over, the lake water acting as a conductor and exacerbating the damage. And on a ledge, was a creature wearing Shang Qinghua. Because that couldn't be Shang Qinghua. Shang Qinghua was a mousy, nervous, skittish mess of a man. Non obtrusive, and a pushover. He was weak and had no combat abilities to speak of. He barely had a core....except that wasn't true was it? None of them had ever seen Shang Qinghua fight. None of them had ever felt the power of his core. Shang Qinghua always ran solo and the occasional company of his head disciple so none of them had been on a mission with him. In fact, none of them knew anything about Shang Qinghua. They just assumed that he was weak...because he was An Ding and acted like a coward. But now it was clear Shen Qingqiu that it was by design. It should have impossible to constantly keep up a facade like that but looking at the imperious creature watching on dispassionately at the Demonic Beast writhing in his lightning, Shen Qingqiu knew that the impossible had been done.

The creature that was Shang Qinghua jumped down from the ledge and made his way to Shen Qingqiu. He was clutching a Thousand Screams Swan now back to its original size. He was barefoot. His clothing was ripped in places. A large slit too clean to be from the beast ran up both his legs just shy of his hips revealing long legs adorned in gorgeous ink patterns climbing up them and disappearing up the torso. It was clear Shang Qinghua cut them up to increase mobility. The sleeves were also ripped, also covered with beautiful tattoos and the high collar of the robes were open showing off beautiful collar bones. His hair was left free and falling russet waves down his back to his knees and with each shift Shen Qingqiu could see a silver shine of what seems to be metal strings woven into it. He was... He was a vision.

Shang Qinghua was always covered. He wore high collar robes that never showed an inch of skin on his body. So seeing him with his legs and arms and his collar visible, it was obscene! Shen Qingqiu realized to horror that he was blushing. His entire face was burning! Shang Qinghua must have succubus blood in him! He must have! Shen Qingqiu is not the type to blush at every pretty face! He hoped to the gods that Shang Qinghua just think of his blushing face as a result of exertion.

As Shang Qinghua drew closer, Shen Qingqiu noticed something strange. Gauntlets. Silver gauntlets carved with seals. Two on the ankles, two on the wrists. And one collar on the neck. Hidden underneath high collar robes as they were, this was the first time Shen Qingqiu had ever seen them. At first they looked like enhancers and looking at the lightning still attacking the beast which seemed to be getting smaller and smaller, it seemed most likely. But Shen Qingqiu was done assuming things about Shang Qinghua. And he was right, because closer inspection revealed the seals to be limiters. Shen Qingqiu for the first time since he became a Peak Lord, was truly astonished. Limiter seals active on five points on the body and undoubtedly forming a restructure five point qi circuit and still manages to defeat two S class demonic beasts? Incredible. Shen Qingqiu wanted to know everything about him. He wanted to burrow underneath his skin. He has never wanted anything more.

After the Beast shrunk down somehow, Shang Qinghua retrieved it with a talisman that seemed to be some sort of Binding. He silently clutched the swans together and made his way to one of the caves, silently motioning for Shen Qingqiu to follow. As they made their way up the caves, Shen Qingqiu looked at his mysterious companion and told him what he was adamant about from the moment he saw the other bring down the wrath of the heavens,

"You can't hide from me anymore."

Shang Qinghua was silent. Then, like a whisper of silk on soft skin, he replied,

"I can try."

Shen Qingqiu smirked,

"Yes you can. But you won't succeed."

The Xiu Ya sword looked the two beasts the other was holding, two Thousand Screams Swans.

"Is Shang Lei even a real name? "

The other didn't answer and that was an answer in itself. Shen Qingqiu couldn't wait to have him.

Anon oh my god this is GORGEOUS!!! Thank you for feeding me, it was delicious!! Bamf SQH! Beautiful SQH! Badass, pretty, mysterious SQH!!!! Attractive as hell, an unattainable prospect!!!

@nighthaunting look look, it’s our writing child

[zarnzarn]

Stolitz fic rec!!

||

I'm going to just drop my favorite stolitz fics here.

They run at night by @wearemisfortune

Blitzo is always moving because when his body stops, his mind races. This almost always leads to a terrible fucking idea.

Tonight is no different—but the result will be.

-lovely angst, lovely climax, and it captures Blitz's line of thinking in a serious tone but in a way still feels authentic to the character. And I'm ALWAYS a sucker for the sheer unconditional trust trope.

Junctures by @sluttycrimehat

To everything, there is a season.

-I still am in complete awe of how the author managed to fit so much in such little time. The bit at the end always fucking gets me, I love it so MUCH.

The last general by @curtailed

It's in a month after, with Stolas spent and lying on his side, that Blitzo finally musters up the courage to tell him.

-Hello??? BEAUTIFUL post-harvest moon fic, wonderful vibes, love how well they know each other in this one, the trust is amazing. Love it.

You got everything that I want by @bipridemoth

Stolas can’t recall a time where “love” wasn’t synonymous with “pain” for him.

With Blitzo, it’s not love. So, there’s no pain. Stolas doesn’t let there be pain, at least not emotionally, the physical pain is something he quite enjoys. When Blitzo leaves after their monthly night together, he doesn’t allow himself to feel pain, only anticipation of the next time. He likes that there’s always a next time, even though that’s because of his active incentive more than anything else. But that’s alright, he doesn’t want Blitzo to come see him without an incentive. He deserves favors in turn for what he’s giving Stolas.

-Stolas angst!!!! The angst really is delicious in this one, with just as nice of a happy ending. Blitz is confident about the relationship, which is Wonderful to read and the "I know where this is going" segment had me in TEARS.

Between fairy tales and realities by @coloringthegreyscale

Blitzo's a complicated imp and Striker and Stolas accept that. But what happens when the two worlds he's made for himself collide together for one night? Well...

-Okay, so yes, this is striker/blitz/stolas, but it's so good. All three of them have a lovely dynamic, managing to work out somehow, with powerful Stolas, wonderful Blitz and a HILARIOUS Striker. Go read the series, it's a lot of fun and has many cute interactions that made me smile.

The look by @seireileafy

Blitz has been noticing a change in Stolas.

-It's such a CUTE drabble, I adore when one person can tell the other is pining for them, and the LAST LINE FUCKING GETS ME EVERY TIME-

Instead I made my bed with apathy by @thebooklord15

Just like every night before this one, Blitzo glared at the form next to him, already lulled into the bliss of slumber. He had never meant for things to turn out this way-he’d gotten the grimoire already, he didn’t need this man and from the way Stolas treated him it was clear he did not need the imp either.

And yet.

-Jcjdkafj this one is so GOOD I love blitz being pissed off yet too deep in to stop, and like I've said for others already THAT LAST LINE, PLEASE-

Call and response by anon

It was a love story, maybe.

-short but deliciously angsty, with some beautiful imagery, really nice dialogue, and time-doesn't-exist-in-this-motel-room vibes. Love it.

Shovel proof by @kereea

Octavia tries to give Blitzo the shovel talk. He decides to help with that.

-FUCKING cute, love the Octavia/Blitz dynamic, and it has snappy fun dialogue!! Really sweet.

Reaching out, touching me, touching you by @allmightshipserasermic

Stolas hasn’t been able to preen sufficiently in quite awhile, since Stella refuses to do it for him anymore. Blitzo offers to help.

-PREENING FIC is there anything more I have to say?

The skin you could have by @coloringthegreyscale

Stolas catches Blitzo staring and it leads to some talk, some magic, and a little bit of fun.

-Again, BEAUTIFUL dynamic between the two, lots of angsty tenderness, and lovely body imagery.

Different shapes by @sirdust

“Before the exorcist, he taketh the image and shape of a man.”

Blitz catches a glimpse of Stolas’ human form.

-okay, practically a direct opposite of the previous fic, but SO GOOD, I can't describe it. Love the imagery and their comfortable relationship.

A helluva mess by @stratumgermanitivum

It’s not like Stolas isn’t a hot piece of ass, because he is.

And it’s not like Blitzo’s blind or anything, because he isn’t.

It’s just that there’s pleasure, and then there’s business, and never the twain shall meet. (Unless he finally gets Moxx on board with that threeway, in which case, Blitzo fully intends to christen every damn surface of the office except his precious Loony’s desk.)

-AMAZING, love the pining and denial on both sides it's so great especially since you can tell both sides know that they've messed up. Again, LAST LINE!!

Eat the whole cake (it's what you deserve) by @okoyik

"His Highness is on the phone for you, sir," Moxxie says.

Blitzo makes a face. "Who?"

"Stolas," Moxxie supplies, as if that's supposed to help Blitzo understand. His expression is surely one of complete confusion as he stares at the other imp.

"Who the fuck is Stolas?" Blitzo asks slowly, racking his brain for a face to put to the name.

-

Blitzo's memory starts to slip, and all he knows is he needs that owl that seems to haunt his nightmares to stay away.

-HELLO it's only on one out of four chapters for now but it's already SO GOOD I can't WAIT for the rest!!!

Stand tall, but your hands are shaking by @remymorton

It’s been a month since the Harvest Moon festival. Another full moon night arrived, and after that... Blitz ... He's not well.

-wordless cute comfort, truly very sweet, I love it.

Palaces and souvenirs by @cloudysonder

So Stolas is objectively. Objectively. Attractive. Kinda soft-looking, sometimes. Pretty. Whatever. Fuckin’ whatever. That’s always been a thing. Blitzo knew that, Stolas definitely knew that-- whatever.

"This is not," Blitzo thinks, sounding a little bit desperate even to himself, "some sort of revelation."

His flicks of the lighter get a little more unstable, a little more frustrated.

A clawed hand reaches over and takes hold of the lighter, lighting Blitzo’s cigarette with practiced ease, as if he’d done the same thing a thousand times before (He has, Blitzo realizes).

“Silly Blitzy,” he giggles quietly, giving Blitzo a soft pat on the head before curling up beside him, stretching one last time before closing his eyes to sleep.

Blitzo feels warm.

"This," Blitzo tells himself, and it sounds like a command, "will not be a problem."

-I saw the start of this fic on Twitter and have been following it religiously ever since. It's really a gorgeous fic, three chapters up, with the promise of a Great slow burn, fun dialogue and Octavia & Blitz bonding. The level of denial Blitz is in even as he moves comfortably around every aspect of Stolas' life cracks me tf up.

Can't by @hazbincalifornia

Blitzo realizes he feels something something that he doesn't want to feel. This was supposed to be simple.

-feelings realization fic, wonderful, amazing, lovely, also the exact same way I realized I was gay, funnily enough (girl fell asleep in my lap and I was like oh. Oh fuck.)

Too late to stop by @malkaviancake

Stolas spends some time with his thoughts, realizing that his feelings for Blitzo aren't as one sided as he presumed.

-GORGEOUS vocab, I'm truly very obsessed with it. Like most of these stories, LAST LINE!!!!

Itchy with want, thin on sleep by me

It happens in parts- both falling in love and having his eyes opened.

-I will,, finish this one day, but for now here's a few in between moments before they have The Conversation.

Heaven in hiding by me

Their nights together are good, they always are, both of their tastes lining up to be shockingly compatible, but on the days where they end early and they get to spend some extra time cleaning up in comfortable silence or playful banter- and Blitz would rather take a bullet than admit this out loud- but those nights are pretty great too.

-AFTERCARE FIC, I had to write an aftercare fic ft. Good dom Blitz, Stolas taking care of him in return and a comfortable relationship that they both know is going to cause Problems in the future :)

Love in the bones and sinews of this curse by me

Five times Stolas and Blitz needed the grimoire to break a curse + one time they didn't.

-self explanatory. I tried to make it as funny as possible, everyone bickers a lot and Blitz brings Stolas flowers and gifts, what more could you need?

Life is a curse (love makes it worse) by me

"Alright!" Blitz says, clapping his hands together, "Weapons out, and-"

Half pull out some gun or the other, but half just look at him blankly. Blitz wishes for death.

"Save me from this family," He mutters under his breath, "Okay. Take these then." He passes out the few weapons he'd brought along with him and doesn't ask if they know how to use them because if he hears a no, he's giving up and going back home. "Stick close and talk loudly so the others can hear us. Let's go."

They move out, Blitz taking the lead and the rest forming a circle close behind him, starting up a loud conversation about the neighbour's garden. It gives him enough time to wonder exactly what the fuck he's doing here, in a nightmare world with a bunch of pretentious snobs, searching for his stupid Ars Goetia boyfriend, instead of sleeping in his nice lumpy bed back at home.

-a sequel to the previous fic!!! I had to write some Octavia and Blitz bonding, and accidentally added in a bunch of teenage imps who work for Stolas who imprint on Blitz immediately. And there's Eldritch Stolas, protective boyfriends and found family!!! The whole shebang!!!

This ended up being Much longer than I'd expected, but genuinely every fic up there is really good, go check em out!!!!

[puredramione]

My 2020 Reading List - Dramione

This year, I’ve read way more dramione than I’ve ever read, and I’ve been reading it for 7 years now. I even read things, tropes, I had never bothered with before. 2020 may not have been a kind year, but in the dramione community it has been a wonderful year of reading for me. Please be aware I may spoil some plot lines to dramione fanfictions you haven’t read yet. I have tried not to as best as I can. But anyway below is 20 fics I’ve read this year that have been there for me when I needed them. No particular order. Just a lot of love for these fics.

Wait and Hope - by @mightbewriting - memory loss is one of my favourite tropes but this story. I have never cried over a couch before. But this story. From the moment she first awakes in St Mungo’s to that beautiful ending, I was hooked. I loved how the story left me with not really a care about whether or not Hermione got her memories back. Those bloody text messages 💔 a journey I’ll never forget.

The Unofficial Diary of an Omega - MrsRen - my first time reading anything omegaverse. It still isn’t my favourite trope. I much prefer Veela for some reason 🤷🏻‍♀️ but overall it was a good story, just not my thing.

Apple Pies and Other Amends by ToEatAPeach - I actually gave up on this story the first time I read it. Unsure as to why because the story as a whole is just amazing. Baking and dramione? Yes please! Also dealing with their psychological trauma after the war? Heck yes! The relationship in this story develops at a lovely pace. There were moments I was on edge, others I was smiling ear to ear whilst reading this. Definitely one of my favourites now.

In Search Of Sunrise - @indreamsink - actually just reread this and I still get that warm feeling in my chest. So turns out my break up hasn’t made me lose the ability to enjoy dramione falling for each other. Anyway, the story was so heartwarming, like if I were to describe it as anything I would describe it as a hug. The best non-date fic there is.

Sex and Occlumency - Graendoll - this was the start of my slippery slope into reading smut stories. Like I had read smut before, obviously but I didn’t pay it much attention, normally just swiped past 😂 but this one was a completely different story.

Manacled - @senlinyu - this is truly the most beautifully haunting story I’ve ever read. I remember when I first started reading it, I thought to myself, how the hell could I ever ship dramione in this world? Then those flashbacks. Fuck those flashback chapters were a punch in the gut. The way everything links and connects. I love it’s realistic ending. I often think of this story in the shower cause I had to force myself to go shower whilst I read this cause I honestly couldn’t put it down. And SPOILER, but I laughed so hard at a certain characters death even though I probably shouldn’t have but she was such a bitch. I get flashbacks myself of this story. I’ll be in the shower and I’ll remember a certain sentence, a certain scene in my head as if I truly walked with Hermione on this heart wrenching journey. But fuck manacled Harry, I hate that boy.

He Becomes by @abromaposts - I needed this story. This was the first thing I read after Manacled. Draco Malfoy looking after rabbits with the sole reason being to get close to Hermione, yes please. Rabbits are my favourite animals. It’s just so much fluff. And after Manacled I was grateful.

The Right Thing To Do - @lovesbitca8 - this was the bookshop, slow burn, fluffiness I needed in the summer. The start of a truly wonderful universe. Idiots in love, I’ve never went through so much second hand embarrassment. Every interaction between Hermione and Lucius was fantastic. Especially the final one! Every character was written to a way that I loved them so much. Plus this story makes you think (like the rest of the series) it doesn’t spoon fed you information.

All The Wrong Things - @lovesbitca8 - I never thought I’d be into first person POV. The last thing I read like that was The Hunger Games back in school, many years ago. But I truly felt as if Draco were telling me the story. I love how it filled in things we never seen in the first story. I love Draco’s characterisation. Unlike TRTTD, this feels more lighthearted. Could just be the horny Draco though and his dramatics?

The Auction - @lovesbitca8 - this story. where do I start? When I started reading this story I was in a completely different life. This story has seen me through a terrible time in my life. Honestly the last few chapters before the final chapter were a blur and I had to go and reread them cause my head was all over the place but the story. This story, on it’s own, I would say is better than any fiction I’ve ever read 🤷🏻‍♀️ it grips you, pulls you in. Every question you ask, you get answered with a ribbon and bow. I cannot express my love, for this story and for the hard work that has went into it. The characters in this world so vastly different yet similar to the ones we already learned to love. I could write a love letter to this story.

Hindsight by @floorcoaster - if you haven’t been following this year long, monthly updated story, then you’ve really missed out. Each chapter is a month of the year. The story starts with Hermione planning to trim down her calendar for the year ahead. Although it’s fiction it gave me a sense of hope for my future. I had started this year on a different note than Hermione, and I’m now ending it on a different note as well. I think this story does a good job of capturing the passage of time and just how quickly things can change. I also really love these adorable idiots in this story.

Bring Him To His Knees by @willhavetheirtrinkets (WIP) - the best co-worker, friends to lovers, fake relationship story I’ve read. No question. I sent @magicaltraveler3 a tearful voice memo after that last chapter that was posted (chapter 20). It isn’t the first time I’ve cried at a fanfic, but it is the first time that I predicted something bad would happen, but I didn’t expect the bad thing to be what it was. I can’t wait to see where this story goes. At this point I have completely forgot about the murder plot. I know it exists, and we’ll get back to the murder but I’d honestly read the characters in this story eating breakfast.

The Flat In Bath by @adaprix (WIP) - this was the first story I got into that ada has wrote. Instantly I was fascinated with the use of “flat” over “apartment”. Being Scottish I knew this was someone British. Anyway, a very interesting story and I can’t wait to see how the rest of it plays out.

Good by @lovesbitca8 - I am dying for the update of this story. As so many are, it is 🔥🔥🔥 all I can say. I can’t wait for the update!

The Erised Effect by @adaprix - When ada first told me she was thinking about writing a story about Pansy and Hermione working in a sex shop together. Telling me about having the idea of them meeting in the pub and how she “needed to get some filthy smut out of your system”. I didn’t think it would be my thing. Boy, did she prove me wrong!

The Cell by WrathOfMacy - I don’t know how I came to read this one. But damn, this was a good one (who am I kidding they’re all good ones). I’m still reading through it though. It’s a warfic in which Dramione end up locked in a cell together. The relationship builds nicely. I cannot wait to read more of it.

The Melody Of Touch by @magicaltraveler3 - I never knew I needed a dramione story like this story. I love that there is so much musical imagery incorporated into it. I haven’t read anything like it before. The story, the smut, the taxi and the freaking art work. It is everything!

Every Day, a Little Death by @lovesbitca8 - I’ll be honest with this one. I read the first chapter and the last chapter 🙈 BUT only cause everyone scared me so much. I plan to revisit. SPOILER. I may not care too much that Hermione cheated. Just me? Like yeah I hate cheating and she shouldn’t have done it, but like she admitted to it, and was very regretful for it. Anyway, the chapters I read were very interesting I look forward to revisiting it sometime.

Away by @indreamsink - written for the romcom fest and I got to say I think this one may be my favourite from the fest. Not only do you get dramione but you get the amazing side pairing of Harry/Pansy, which this year has really became my favourite side pairing. It’s like reading two love stories at once, I was interested in the dramione plot line obviously, but I was equally interested in the hansy/potts&pans plot line.

The Path Unexpected by @magicaltraveler3 - this story is a cute little domestic dramione fanfic. And I lived for it. It shows dramione going through the process of having a child and honestly, they’re so damn cute in this fic. The fanart is next level also!

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC’s Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Lessons 13-15

Series Masterlist

Y’all know what’s coming up next, time for some *~buildup~*. So I’ve decided to forgo my usual bullet point system for the next two parts in the series so it’ll just be a full fic chapter style thing. Anyway, enjoy the prelude to the angst!

MC was comfortable.

They were sprawled out on the floor of Lucifer’s study, folding and crinkling old bits of paperwork that their father had damned to the shredder. Bean attempted to swat at the loose paper, only to flop onto his back. MC giggled and scratched behind his ears, the kitten batted at their hand in response.

Lucifer was doing paperwork, though he was getting quite distracted by the antics of his child and the cat.

Finishing up their paper snowflakes, MC unfolded them and hummed to themselves. The snowflakes turned out much better than that line of paper people that they had accidentally decapitated earlier.

“Tadaaaa!” MC chirped, holding up the paper snowflakes.

Lucifer looked at them, then chuckled and shook his head. “MC, I know it’s winter up in the human world, but it’s not down here. Why are you making snow themed decorations?”

“There’s no sun in the Devildom, it’s always a little cold out.” MC replied. “So it’s gotten me in a snowflake-y mood.”

Lucifer smiled slightly as he adjusted the paper orchids on his desk. MC had attributed their skill in paper crafts to their plethora of Mother and Father’s Day gifts they had given to their other parent over the years.

“What are you working on now?” He asked as he continued to absentmindedly work through the mountain of paperwork.

“I need to make something for Beel.” MC sighed. “I made him a pizza slice craft… but he ate it.”

“Perhaps this time you should make him a Fangol ball.”

“Yeah… that might be best.”

MC had offered to help out their father with anything involving the exchange program, any questions or improvements to be made, any issues that needed to be solved, and things that could be done to make future students more comfortable. Things were going well, but not every bit of work Lucifer was doing involved the exchange program, which left MC to play with the cat and the loose paper.

“Do you need help with anything, father?” MC asked, rolling onto their back and holding Bean above them.

“Not yet, MC.” Lucifer replied. “Most of your work here is done anyway.”

“Hmph, that sucks.” MC pouted. “I like helping you.”

They caught the ghost of a smile on Lucifer’s face after they said that.

“It’s nice that someone in this house does.”

They continued to play with the cat, Bean ended up getting his claws stuck in the carpet, MC had to help him out, Bean returned the favour by attacking MC’s poor defenseless hand.

“MC?”

“Yes?” MC looked up from their battle with Bean.

“What was your life like in the human world? I assume it wasn’t common knowledge that you’re half demon.”

MC giggled a bit. “Kind of boring, it’s much more exciting down here. Back in the human world I couldn’t exactly practice my magic without needing to explain to the insurance guy that the reason the windows are broken is because I wanted to move the remote closer to me without getting up.”

“Hm.” Lucifer smirked. “Laziness gets you nowhere.”

“I know. But at least now I can move things without breaking anything I don’t want broken.” MC smiled as they used their magic to move their father’s coffee mug a few inches to the left. Lucifer raised an eyebrow.

MC felt their hair get ruffled and their glasses moved slightly off their nose. “What about you, father? What was life like without me?”

“Well, it wasn’t boring.” Lucifer replied. “Just ever so slightly less chaotic.”

Bean lost interest in the game and rushed out of the room to yowl angrily at one of the vases in the library or hallway. According to Lucifer, those artifacts came with the house and were insanely cursed. Bean appeared to be offended that he wasn’t allowed to knock the objects off of the table.

MC took a quick breath and steeled themselves to ask a question they had asked a dozen times before. “What about the time before that? Like when you were in the Celestial Realm?”

Lucifer stiffened in his seat. “Why do you want to know about that?”

“No one really talks about it, and I want to know.” MC frowned, but did their best to shrug as casually as they could. “I also want to know about Lilith, no one ever talks about her.”

“Just wanting to know isn’t a terribly good reason for digging up the past.”

MC bristled at his dismissive tone, every time they had asked about that time he had avoided answering. They ground their teeth as they responded. “Well, this is my family too, I deserve to be a part of it.”

“What does knowing about the Celestial Realm have anything to do with being a part of the family?”

“Because I’m the only one who doesn’t have any memories of it!” MC finally snapped. “Even Satan has some of your memories and I have nothing! I’m being left out and it’s not fair!”

Lucifer looked up from his paperwork and glared at MC. “Watch your tone.”

They looked away and muttered something under their breath.

“Speak clearly, MC, I don’t have time for mumbling.” Lucifer said, his patience rapidly draining.

“I said you sure keep a lot of secrets!” MC growled, getting to their feet and crossing their arms. “You won’t tell me why the Grimoire is downstairs, you won’t tell me anything about the Celestial Realm or the Celestial War, you won’t tell me why I’m not allowed to go in the attic, you’re keeping so much from me!”

“Has it ever crossed your mind that you don’t need to know about any of those things?”

“I don’t need to but I have a right to!” MC felt every single one of their insecurities rise and bubble in their chest. “You don’t trust me, do you? That’s why you won’t tell me anything!”

“MC, calm down.” Lucifer growled.

“No!” They snarled. “You’ve been keeping me in the dark!”

Lucifer slammed his hands on his desk, cutting them off. MC almost flinched at the sudden noise, the silence that followed was deafening as they stiffened their posture and felt their hands curl into fists.

“Take a walk, MC. You’re being ridiculous.”

MC opened their mouth to speak, to yell, to scream about the unfairness of it all, then closed it. What good would it have done? They turned on their heel and stomped out of the study.

—————

Time heals all wounds, doesn’t it? Not this time considering Lucifer and MC were still upset at how their last chat ended.

Mammon, Asmo, Beel, Satan, Levi, and MC were lounging around in the living room. It was time for the monthly repainting of everyone’s nails, and MC was getting their turn.

“You have to take better care of your nails, MC.” Asmo tutted. “Clean them more often, file them, take those vitamins I recommended,”

When Asmo was lecturing someone, it was always very much a: ‘nod and make random affirming noises every once and a while’ situation. Mammon snickered at MC’s predicament.

“Don’t think you’re exempt!” Asmo held up the nail clippers at Mammon. “Your nails are filthy too!”

The two began to bicker, MC rolled their eyes and moved over, their nails were still half finished. Satan let out an explosive sigh and closed his book.

“Another day in paradise.”

“Paradise Lost, you mean?” MC teased, Satan scoffed and rolled his eyes.

The formerly average bickering of the second and fifth borns had slowly begun to escalate to their usual game of ‘who can make the other cry first’, a game which Asmo was defending champion of.

“Would both of you dummies CRAM IT?!” MC turned and snapped, the two ignored them and their shouting only grew in volume. “I don’t even know why I try.”

The two’s fight had shifted from words to throwing things, nail polish bottles, the nail filers, the clippers, pillows, mugs, the coasters, nothing was off limits. A wayward nail polish bottle hit Satan in the head and ended up spilling all over his pants.

“You two…” Satan growled. MC shifted away from Satan and got closer to Beel, Satan had been progressively getting more and more irritated as the day went on, and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. “YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!”

Satan leapt off the couch which resulted in Beel dropping his massive stack of pancakes onto the floor. MC suddenly felt significantly less safe.

“Beel, it’s okay, we can make more really quickly.” MC offered, gently patting him on the shoulder. Beel looked from MC, to his poor pancakes, then let out a mournful sigh.

“I’m hungry…” he mumbled, MC leaned their head against his arm.

“We could order in from Ristorante Six if you want!”

The entire time that conversation was taking place, Satan, Asmo, and Mammon were in the middle of killing each other. Levi rolled his eyes and shifted his position in the armchair, the sounds coming from his 3DS got louder as he tried to drown out the fighting.

“Tsk… stupid normies.”

Finally fed up, MC shot up from their seat. “WOULD YOU IDIOTS SHUT UP?!”

The creaking of the door to the living room opening caused everyone to freeze, Lucifer..? No… not him.

Belphegor pushed open the door.

As casual as could be, he grinned and gave everyone a wave. “My dearest brothers, oh how I’ve missed you…”

Everyone stood in complete and utter silence as Belphie casually strolled into the room, he surveyed the mess and let out a giggle.

“Geez, don’t fall over yourselves to welcome me home.”

“…Belphie?” Beel took a few tentative steps forward, then rushed forward and scooped his twin into a back breakingly tight hug.

“Hello to you too, Beel,” Belphie’s smile could have lit up the entire Devildom as he gave Beel a few light pats on the back with his one free arm. “You guys could learn a thing or two from him.”

“Y-you’re supposed to be up in the human world, what are you doing here?” Asmodeus finally piped up.

“Well, I wasn’t actually in the human world. I was locked in the attic.”

“What?!”

Everyone with the exception of MC expressed their shock with a variety of cursing and confused exclamations. MC looked down at their feet and clasped their hands behind their back.

“I’m out now,” Belphie gestured to himself. “Obviously. And we have MC to thank for that.”

MC was now the centre of attention, they felt their face burn with embarrassment. “I-I u-uhm…”

“Speak up, MC,” Everyone whipped their heads around to see Lucifer standing in the now open doorway, his posture was stiff but his expression was completely murderous. “What exactly is Belphegor talking about?”

Their heart hammered in their chest and their ears began to ring. Shit… shit… this wasn’t supposed to happen this way… MC’s ribs seemed to constrict and tighten with guilt as their heart continued to race.

“Oh fuck off,” Belphie scoffed. “You know full well what I’m talking about. You’re the one who locked me up there!”

“Lucifer…” Beel growled. “Is that true..?”

“Yes!” MC finally found their voice and met their father’s stare. “It is true! I found Belphie stuck in the attic over a month ago.”

Lucifer’s eyes flashed dangerously as he shifted his gaze to Belphie. “And the attic is where he’ll stay.”

“Like hell!” Belphie spat. “I’m not going back up there.”

“Do you really think you’re in any place to defy me right now?”

“He’s not going back into the attic, Lucifer.” Beel practically snarled.

The air cackled with tension before MC spoke up again. “Father, can’t we just talk-”

“Stay out of this, MC.”

MC felt the tips of their ears redden as they clenched their fists and stepped up next to Beel and Belphie. “No.”

“MC-”

“No!” MC growled. “Why should I listen to you?! You haven’t told me why you took such bullshit measures to keep your own brother locked up in the attic and lied to everyone about it! What gives you the right to tell me what to do?!”

With one final glare shot over their shoulder, MC, Beel, and Belphie stormed out of the house, leaving the other five brothers behind.

Taking into account Beel’s much larger height and amount of strength, it was a miracle MC was even touching the floor while the trio sped down the street. Belphie was completely elated, taking extra time to walk ahead and point things out.

“Ahh,” Belphie sighed, resting his hands behind his head. “It feels so good to be free…”

“I’ll bet,” Beel smiled softly at his twin and ruffled his hair. “I’m sorry I didn’t-”

“Beel, shush. None of this is your fault.” Belphie tutted.

MC kept their eyes trained on the ground, a ball of guilt beginning to form in their gut. Was this the right thing to do? Run away? What were they going to do..?

“MC?” Beel asked as he suddenly lifted them onto his shoulders, MC squeaked in surprise and scrambled to adjust their balance so they didn’t topple over. “You okay?”

“Ye… yes Beel.” MC took a breath before beginning to giggle. “I’m okay.”

“So uh…” Belphie looked around. “Where are we going to go? I don’t have any money on me.”

“Neither do I,” Beel mumbled. “And I left my DDD back at the house…”

MC thought for a moment, then brightened and pulled out their DDD. “Purgatory Hall! Luke owes me a favour, and there’s no way he’d turn us away.”

“Whose Luke?” Belphie asked.

“MC’s best friend.” Beel replied.

“He’s not my best friend!” MC sputtered, nearly dropping their DDD while in the middle of crafting the text to the angel. “He just owes me a favour after I saved him from those stupid lesser demons…”

“Oh, okay then.” MC felt Beel subtly shake his head to Belphie, who snickered.

Soon, the three were crammed into Luke’s room at Purgatory Hall. MC had been there and stayed over dozens of times before, but the near constant smell of baked goods that permeated throughout the entire dorm hall never failed to make them drool. It seemed that Beel was having an even worse time with the amazing smells, he was staring off into space with a long string of drool dangling out of his mouth.

Luke folded his arms and tapped his foot as he tried to unsuccessfully scowl at the three. The angel had just recently come to terms with MC’s parentage but clearly wasn’t ready to host two full demons in his temporary home.

Simeon on the other hand was quickly looking from Belphie, to Beel, then to MC as if trying to glean the details of the entire situation from their facial expressions and posture alone.

It wasn’t difficult to see that MC wasn’t doing terribly good. The realization had finally fully sunken in and they were anxiously fidgeting in their seat.

Belphie seemed the most calm out of the group, he was leaning back against the couch like he didn’t have a care in the world, if the ottoman were just a little bit closer it looked like he might have kicked his feet up.

“So,” Solomon said, absentmindedly twirling a string of bright purple magic between his fingers. “What’s the story here?”

“Family drama…” MC murmured, their eyes unconsciously flicking to look at Belphegor.

“Family drama that was both caused and solved, by you, MC.” Belphie chirped. “I haven’t thanked you for getting me out of the attic yet, have I?”

MC knitted their eyebrows in confusion. “I never got you out of the attic… I haven’t gone up there in over five days…”

“Then…” Belphie said slowly. “What opened the door?”

Now that was a question that couldn’t be answered by anyone in the room, which left the group in quite the awkward spot. In the end it didn’t end up mattering too much, Belphie was just happy to be out of the attic, and even though the trio were technically in hiding, he was just glad that this was all on his own terms.

Beel and Belphie took some time to catch up while Luke and MC played crazy eights. MC was beating him, but Luke didn’t plan on surrendering any time soon. The half demon continued to fidget and twitch throughout the game, their heart and mind racing despite the complete lack of nearby threats. Luke took notice and also began to fidget.

“I…um…” Luke mumbled and looked away. “Are you… are you and Lucifer okay?”

MC pursed their lips and gave him a half-shrug. Luke hadn’t exactly taken the news that Lucifer was MC’s father very well… for a while he refused to even look at MC properly, and when Lucifer found out about how upset that was making MC… Luke was lucky MC was just sad and not angry.

Even Luke with all his ‘demons are awful and evil’ talk, no one could deny that Lucifer cared about MC a whole lot.

“We’re um… I don’t know.” MC finally replied. “He’s mad at me… I’m mad at him… y’know…”

Luke chewed on the inside of his cheek and nodded, awkwardly giving MC a quick pat on the head. “It’s okay, MC. I’m sure it’ll be okay.”

Giggling slightly, MC returned the head pat, their spirits rising slightly. “Gasp! A chihuahua petting someone? This is amazing, call the news stations!”

“Hey!”

After silencing Luke’s yapping and agreeing that he was in fact an angel and not a chihuahua, MC found themselves leaning on the doorway to one of Purgatory Hall’s balconies. Belphie stood with his back to MC, leaning on the railing and letting the wind gently ruffle his hair. He had a serene smile spread across his face as he took a deep breath in.

“Belphie?” MC asked, padding over to look over the railing next to the Avatar of Sloth. “What are you doing out here?”

“Just enjoying the fresh air. The attic got really musty after a bit.” Belphie replied, another gust of wind blew past, making MC shiver. “It’s nice…”

“Well, enjoy it all you want, because you’ll never be stuck up there again!” MC chirped, but their cheery demeanour faltered as thoughts of the rest of their family entered their mind.

Belphie opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. His eyes narrowed as he stared blankly ahead for a few moments. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as his now analytical gaze moved to MC. “You miss them.”

The comment wasn’t framed as a question, more a statement with the slightest tinge of disbelief. MC looked up at him and nodded. “Of course I miss the others. The reason I got you out of the attic was so we could all be together. I didn’t want the reunion to be like… like this…”

A smirk made its way onto Belphie’s face as he held out his arms. “Does someone need a hug? It sounds like you need a hug.”

The teasing tone almost immediately made MC roll their eyes, but they stopped themselves. They really did need a hug… they rushed forward and wrapped their arms around their uncle, the soft cardigan cushioning their face. Belphie slowly patted MC’s back, his hands slowly rising until one rested right between their shoulder blades, he then stiffened. MC felt him suddenly suck in a breath of air, but his arms remained wrapped around MC.

“Belphie..?” The half demon asked again, shifting their head to look up at him. He was staring straight ahead, almost like he didn’t want to even look at them.

“You…” Belphie whispered. “You care about them… don’t you..?”

MC felt the hand resting between their shoulder blades tense ever so slightly as it rose to the back of their neck.

“Of course I do, you guys are my family.”

Belphie stood completely frozen, MC slowly began to unwrap their arms from the hug, but Belphie remained rooted in place, and the hand on the back of their neck prevented them from fully leaving.

“And they…” Belphie gulped. “They really care about you…”

The two stood completely frozen in silence for God knows how long before Belphie let out a shuddering breath and practically collapsed into MC, the hand that was formerly against their neck was now cradling their head as he gave MC a hug so tight and suffocating that MC was worried their back might break.

“I’m sorry MC… damn it I’m so sorry…” Belphie whispered, pain and regret lacing every single word while MC could only knit their eyebrows in confusion and gently pat him on the back.

“I-it’s not your fault, Belphie, everything will be fine, okay?”

MC felt Belphie shake his head as he released them from the hug, his expression was a crude mixture of glassy and downright horrified.

“I don’t know about that, kiddo.” He rasped, he slowly reached a hand out and ruffled MC’s hair, before giving them a half-smile. “But thanks anyway.”

That odd interaction lingered in the back of MC’s mind as the day progressed. The complete radio-silence from the HOL had been the front runner in MC’s growing list of worries. Why hadn’t anyone tried to call them? Or go after them?

Luke being the sweet friend he was, invited MC to bake with him. The delicious smell of freshly made chocolate chip cookies didn’t exactly soothe MC’s anxieties, in fact, they only worsened when the sound of shouting made its way into the kitchen.

“What’s going on up there?” MC said as they stared up at the ceiling.

“Maybe it’s-”

The hairs on the back of MC’s neck stood straight up as a massive magical shockwave slammed into the two. This wasn’t any ordinary magic, it was ancient, and much more powerful than anything MC had ever felt before. For the first time in their life the little voice in the back of their head wasn’t screaming at them to fight and prove their superiority, it was begging them to surrender. To run and hide and pray to whatever would listen that whoever set off that magic wouldn’t find them.

Thousands of years worth of demonic instincts went ignored as MC rushed out of the kitchen to go see where and what the source of the magic was. Their blood ran cold when they reached the top of the staircase and saw exactly who was standing there.

He had clearly just shifted out of his demon form a second prior, the golden glow in his eyes had just begun to dull when his gaze landed on MC.

“L-lord Diavolo…” MC stood completely straight and still, they did their best to suppress the shudders that wracked their spine while they were in the presence of the Crown Prince of the Devildom. The very idea of addressing the demon that stood before them with any kind of disrespect or even camaraderie was completely absent from their head.

Diavolo’s gaze softened ever so slightly, but that provided no comfort to MC as every limb in their body seized up.

“MC,” He nodded in greeting. “I’m glad you’re well.”

Feeling slowly began to trickle back into MC’s arms, but they didn’t dare move from their spot. “What are… um… what happened?”

“Well,” Diavolo began. “Belphegor being out of the attic is the main reason I’m here.”

“Y-you knew about that?” MC sputtered.

“Yes, and after someone let Belphegor out of the attic I needed to make sure he didn’t do any damage.”

“Damage..?” MC mumbled. “What do you mean damage?”

Diavolo sighed and took a few steps closer to MC. “I take it you know Belphegor opposed the exchange program, right?”

MC nodded.

“Do you know why?”

MC hesitated, then shook their head. “No. No one told me.”

Diavolo looked away from MC, his forehead creased in thought before he eventually shook his head. “You’ve done a lot for your family, MC, you took on a burden no one asked you to take, and that’s very commendable. But it’s time you let the adults handle things, alright?”

“Alright?!” Any lingering traces of fear completely vanished as MC clenched their fists and stared down Diavolo. “This isn’t fair! Belphie hasn’t done anything wrong!”

“While free, Belphegor poses a threat to more than just the exchange program.” The shift in tone from calm to stern made any retort MC could possibly muster die in their throat. Diavolo smoothly moved past them as he began his descent down the staircase.

He turned to look at them once again, and his voice softened. “One day I hope you’ll understand my reasoning and be able to forgive me, MC.���

After Diavolo left, MC sprinted into Luke’s room where Belphie and Beel were supposed to be, only to find Beel floating midair. He was posed in a way like he was lunging for something, his eyes flashed when he saw MC and he suddenly dropped straight to the ground.

“Diavolo took Belphie.” He rumbled.

“Yeah, I figured.” MC muttered as they helped up Beel. “Listen, we need to do something and I have an idea.”

—————

MC bolted through the hallways of the Demon Lord’s Castle, the memories from the retreat serving them well as they made it to the corridor where the door to Barbatos’ room was.

Beel was doing his part, he gathered his brothers and he was in the main hall distracting Barbatos and Diavolo by pleading their brother’s case. Not that any of them knew it was a distraction. MC’s plan wasn’t their best work, but it was all they had.

They twisted the doorknob and the door opened, revealing the creepy room MC remembered. Hundreds of doors lined the seemingly never ending walls of the room. Staircases twisted and winded around, leading to yet even more hallways. How was MC supposed to find the door they were looking for in there..?

MC shut the door behind them as they walked closer into the room and began to inspect the first sets of doors. Many of them were similar in features, but some had more… distressing things added on.

One of the doors was being held shut by dozens of heavy glowing chains, there was no padlock in sight, but the chains themselves seemed to be at least somewhat alive as they wrapped themselves protectively around the door. From the sudden feeling of intense dread and terror that gripped MC, they decided it would be best to steer clear from doors like that.

The hallways warped and shifted around MC as they continued to search the room for their door. They needed a door to at least a few hours before Belphegor somehow escaped from the attic.

“Down here?”

“This one.”

“Oh no… what have I gotten myself into..?”

Unfamiliar and unseen voices echoed down the never ending hallway, closely followed by the sounds of multiple doors opening and shutting. There were others somewhere in the room…

MC’s listening was brought to an abrupt halt when they passed by a seemingly normal looking door, but something about it yanked at their mind. This was the one. They just knew it. This was it. They were going to fix this. Fix all of it.

They opened the door and stepped in.

—————

Lesson 16’s coming up next folks, beware and be afraid!