shirtrose7-blog

[krasytoonz]

The Gae Wae (this comic is 100% a joke)

[salsflore]

I LOVED THE GUIZHONG CUTSCENE OH MY GODD ok nobody laugh at me i’m gonna be mental but this is definitely my favorite lantern rite so far omgomg <33 i love cloud retainer a lot tooo!!! and seeing my husband on screen AHHH

^ not my ss but still istg theyre gfs

[obsessivevoidkitten]

That's a Wrap!

Kinktober 2024 Day 2: Bondage

Mummified Lich Male Yandere x Gender Neutral Reader

CW: noncon, bondage, undead yandere, necromancy, graverobbing, mild blood drinking, biting, magic, soul binding, cock warming, overstimulation, controlling yandere, general yandere behavior

Word Count: 1k

(Honestly not my best work. A bit rushed. Smut isn't super detailed. But I hope you guys like it anyway.)

You didn't really think of yourself as a grave robber. Of course not! You were an explorer, a treasure hunter, a daring person who went on adventures into dangerous dungeons! Now, did that sometimes involve liberating certain valuables from the entombed? Sure.

In fact, that's just what you were doing. You had found a map in your travels that had led you to an ancient dungeon in which a long dead king was rumored to be entombed… along with all of his many treasures…

The entrance was concealed deep within a hidden cave. The opening had collapsed, but you had the right equipment for the job.

Though you lacked any ability to naturally cast spells, you did have several one-time use earth scrolls that would allow you to use their stored magic to clear the cave and make sure it was fully stable. Of course, you also had a scroll of teleportation so you could easily leave with the loot and a scroll of healing in case of injury.

You continued until you found a magically sealed door, though it seemed age had weakened it just enough for it to be broken by your enchanted pickaxe. You proceeded through the antechamber and into the main room. 

Strange. Absolutely no treasures filled the room, no artifacts mounted on the walls, no jars, urns, statues, or gold. It was just a plain, pristine room with some glyphs and runes.

But in the center, there were stairs leading to a stone sarcophagus. This was it, the resting place of King Relik. For something containing royalty, it was disappointingly plain. Maybe he was buried during a time of extreme poverty. You knew you were the first "liberator of treasures" though; you had been the one to break the sealed door. 

Well… a bit macabre, but you could still sell the mummy itself if nothing else. It alone would be a mighty fine pay day. Though you held out hope that some valuables remained in the sarcophagus.

You carefully shipped away at it with your pick. At about the halfway mark, it burst open on its own. 

King Relik rose from his 2300 year old prison with a yawn. He was mostly covered in strips of cloth. Upon spotting you, he willed his wrappings to extend and curl around you. 

The wrappings fell from his body, revealing him to have pale grey-white skin, ling black hair, dark rings around his eyes, and a muscular body.

The gauze evidently held spells to incapacitate whoever they bound but were no longer strong enough to hold such a powerful mage-king like Relik. 

You were only left uncovered from the neck up. The now naked former monarch bit your neck and drew blood, sucking only a few drinks from you. 

As he drank from you, he learned your language and your most recent actions and motives.

"Ha! A grave robber. I like you!"

You had no idea that he had been sealed there for trying to conquer the world as an undead lich. They couldn't kill him no matter how hard they tried, so they used the strongest magic possible to seal him away.

And you had broken the last bits of that waning magic. 

He kissed your neck where he had bitten you and cradled you carefully. He summoned up some clothes for himself. It was all he could do with his powers as weakened as they were.

Relik rummaged through your pack and found what he was looking for. The teleportation scroll linked to your nice private home.

How quaint. He never had to resort to a spell scroll before. 

Once at your place, he took the bindings off, laughed as you struggled, removed your clothing, and then re-wrapped your arms and legs.

"I don't really need these enchanted bindings to restrain you, but you look rather cute all tied up like this."

All you could do was make a distressed expression. He ruffled your hair to comfort you.

"Don't worry. It wouldn't be very kingly of me to just dispose of someone who freed me… especially when they have such a delicious expression of fear."

The lich bit his finger so that a drop of blood flowed from it, he put it in your mouth so that you would know who he was and what he intended. His blood power would work both ways, should he will it. 

Suddenly, his intent flooded into your mind. You now knew that from the moment he had tasted your blood, he intended to reward you for freeing him. He liked your personality and slightly questionable morals for wealth.

Your reward would be an immortal lifetime of getting dicked down by him. 

That night alone, he used a spell to make sure you were lubed and ready, then tied you up, and had you in nearly every possible position. His favorite was simply bouncing you on his dick with your hands, bound behind your back. 

Though the magic fabric wasn't on your mouth, its enchantment kept from making all but the softest moans and gasps. Good thing too, thought Relik. Otherwise, you may have damaged your voice.

Only when you literally passed out against his chest from the exhaustion and overstimulation from hours of sex did he finally remove the bandages. Instead, he held you close in his arms and used you to warm his cock as he fell asleep too.

Over the next few days, he would get enough of his strength back to make you magically addicted and dependent on him. This was to ensure you could never leave him.

He also used a spell to make it so you couldn't speak of him or otherwise communicate his existence to other people.

After a few months, he had enough power to tie your very soul to his for all eternity, causing you to become a lich as well. He sealed this soul pact with a magical collar he had you wear.

In every possible way, sexually, spiritually, and physically, Relik owned you. He may have been a mummy when you met him, but you were the one who was all wrapped up and bound. 

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 19: I Know Who You Are

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter nineteen of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 14.5K (It's a behemoth and oh my stars I didn't mean to do this)

Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Angst, Drinking, ANGST, Sexual References, Talks of Pregnancy/Abortion, Some steaminess (barely), Family Problems, Self-deprecating thoughts, Awkward Situation, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: Not going to lie, this one is ANGSTY and it's dramatic... ENJOY!

Soldier Boy POV

Ben couldn't move, couldn't breathe. The words you'd said still hovered between the two of you like an anchor sinking from a ship and lodging itself in his heart to tug him under. At first he thought that he'd imagined you saying it, that he was still reeling from using his newfound powers, but the ringing in his ears was not a side effect of that.

It had been exactly 37 seconds since you said it, and in those 37 seconds Ben couldn't do anything but stare into your beautiful wide eyes and try to remember how to breathe. The look on your face was identical to the first time you told him you loved him, hands gently cupping his cheeks and making him feel like the boy who used to climb up the tree outside your window just to glimpse your smile.

But now what you said was different. What you said didn't bring warmth, it brought destruction, it broke through everything he was.

 As soon as you said it a wave of shock crashed over him, followed by another more powerful wave of guilt. It wasn't guilt for getting you pregnant or guilt because the two of you weren't careful. Ben was not upset about that. He would have loved to see you pregnant, see you glow as you wore those cute overalls and prepared for a child that he gave you. To see you smile at him every day and let him make love to you, show you how excited he was to share this with you. Show you how you were the only person he wanted a family with, the only person he ever wanted to be bound to. He had wanted to give that to you and that wasn't a lie. When you first spoke those words to him so long ago about wanting to have a family, wanting to have someone to come home to, someone who loved you, Ben had wanted to be the one to give you those things.

He would have done anything to make you happy, still would. But now he was upset with himself. Guilty that he wasn't there for you when you needed him the most, guilty that he allowed himself to stay away as long as he had, and guilty that he hadn't fought harder to get back to you.

He imagined those years without him raising a child on your own, the sleepless nights you must have had, the way you must have never had a moment of quiet-.

Ben felt himself sinking deeper and deeper into despair when he thought of the years you must have spent alone raising his child, loving his child even though he threw you away.

She loves me that much? How can I ever deserve her?

Ben still didn't breathe, noting the way Legend, Butcher, and Hughie have fallen silent where they stand behind the two of you. Even Legend had stopped smoking his blunt, something that Ben wished he could take a hit from.

I'm a dad and I-

Ben's memories of his own father came up like the rising tide, the shit his father said to him, the way his father pushed him away, the way his father was never there when he needed him to be and the way that his father always made him feel like he wasn't enough, just as your mother made you feel.

Even after all this time, I did become him, I abandoned her and then I abandoned my kid. I wasn't there when they needed me the most, I am a fuck up I- Ben swallows, the overwhelming thoughts dragging him further and further beneath the waves. How could she still want me? How can she say that I've never disappointed her when I did this?

You drop your hands from his cheeks and he misses the warmth they brought, but worse is the look in your eyes. You look scared. It was the same look you'd had on your face this morning when he woke up with you in his arms.

Ben hated that, because he knew why. He knew that you were scared to tell him this because you thought he would leave you again, that you still didn't completely believe that he was never going to leave you again, and it broke something deep inside of him that he tried to hide away for decades. He wished that he had never done those things to you, wished that he had earned back your trust already, wished that you would let him make love to you to show you how much you meant to him, but deep down he knew that he was willing to wait for you even if it took the rest of his life, he would make you trust him again.

At least she's touching me and looking me in the eye now.

But he knew that he still had a long way to go.

“Right.” Butcher clears his throat awkwardly. “Don’t forget to fill up the tank.” He tosses his keys towards you and you catch them in your hand while Ben continues to stand there.

Honestly he still wasn't sure what to say. He was stuck somewhere between guilt and shock and he wasn't sure how to make his body move. Pretty soon he would die from asphyxiation. He hadn’t taken a breath since you said it.

Butcher, Legend, and Hughie walk into the house behind them each wearing a bewildered expression. Ben had been to Legend's summer house many times in the past. He had memories of orgies and parties that went on for days, both of which you never went to, and Ben always ended up at your apartment trying to sleep it off while you sketched quietly beside him. He still couldn't understand that, how you were able to sit there with him and act like your heart wasn't breaking each time he did that.

The silence grows between you and Ben can't find the words to fill it, because he has no idea what to say, no idea how you can look at him when he did this to you, when he got you pregnant and then abandoned you like you didn't matter.

"Look I-" You stammer, looking down at the ground for a minute to take a breath before you raise your eyes to look at him. "I didn't want to tell you like this, but I can't leave her. We have the same last name and the first thing Homelander's going to do is make that connection. I mean, Legend and I made up the story about Indigo being my mom, but Rosemary she-"

Ben's entire body explodes again with emotion and shock as you utter the name Rosemary. He hadn't heard it in over eighty years, the last time was at his mother's funeral. The day that you crossed the gravesite, pulling away from your family, swaddled in another ridiculous dress that your mother picked out, and took his hand, refusing to let it go.  You were always there for him.

And then I wasn't fucking there for her.

“I just can’t leave her, not with him.” You whisper, glancing up into Ben's impassive face but he can't say anything.

How can I when she named our daughter after my mother?

“I know it’s a lot to take in. I tried to tell you this morning, but then Butcher walked in and I didn’t want to do this in front of him and- and-“ You were babbling now, a nervous habit that Ben hadn't seen you do in ages, but was now rearing its ugly head all over again. “And you don’t have to come with me-“

You were mistaking his silence for fear, mistaking his silence as him pulling away all over again. He could see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice as it trembled.

“Rosemary.” Ben whispers, your daughter's name, his daughter's name, interrupting you.  He barely breathes it, so low that he's not sure you heard him, saying the name with a reverence that he'd never used before. It was the first thing he'd said since you told him that he was a dad.

“Yes?" You look confused.

“You named her after my mom?” Ben’s eyes catch yours, deep green and open. He could feel his own heart flutter when he asked you that, heating in his chest so hot that he thinks it might melt out of it, through the bones and sinew. If that happened he would catch it and give it to you as if you already didn’t have it.

Ben can hear your heartbeat stutter when he asks you that. It was surprising, surprising that after everything that happened you still did that for him, did that to remember him.

He watches the end of your lips twitch in a smile.

“Yeah. You loved your mom. And did you think I was going to name her after my mom? Really?” You smile faintly at him with the joke.

Ben almost smiles at the thought. There wasn't any way that you wanted to remember your mother. Hell, all Ben wanted was to help you forget her, to undo the damage that she'd done to you all those years ago, because he saw how her influence still weighed on you, how everything that happened in the past still sat on your shoulders.

And he wanted to relieve that.

“I did try to tell you.” You repeat, but your smile drops.  “Honestly I also want to stop and get some clothes from my apartment  so I’m not covered in blood or rubble when I see her. It's going to be hard to explain all of this to her.”

Ben drags his eyes down your outfit again. Although this morning all he wanted was to rip it off you and study your curves with his hands, the outfit looked weathered. There was a prominent hole through the jacket and shirt, just under your left breast that Ben couldn't look away from. He knew what it meant. It was from you pushing him out of the way of Homelander. He could still feel the anger prickling beneath his skin when you again did the thing that he told you not to do. You were just so stubborn sometimes and never wanted to listen to him. Ben didn't give a single fuck that Homelander had punched him and practically choked him, the only thing he cared about was that Homelander had killed  you. There were many things that Ben fantasized about doing to Homelander when he had killed you, many he wished that he had been able to accomplish before Homelander tucked his tail and flew away like a little pussy.

He cannot be what passes for a hero these days.

Then again another side of him was incredibly turned on when you faced Homelander. He'd never admit that to you, but there was something sexy about the way you threw Homelander around like he was nothing. It had taken an extreme amount of effort for Ben not to kiss you after Homelander flew away, to take you back into the ruined house and show you just how much he liked your outfit and how much he enjoyed watching you kick Homelander's ass. Of course he'd let the anger win in the moments that followed the fight.

"Okay." Ben replies.

He sees you hesitate. “I guess I’ll see you when I get back.” You reply, with a tight smile, disappointment flashing in your eyes.

“What are you talking about?” Ben’s eyebrows furrow together. He was confused. “I’m coming with you.”

“Really?" He watches your eyes widen in surprise.

 Did she really think I'd let her go alone to do this?

"Yes? I told you that I didn't want you to go alone. Especially with that asshole flying around." Ben could feel himself frown.

"Okay."

Reader POV

The first ten minutes of the drive is deathly quiet. Ben doesn’t say anything and you fight to keep your mouth shut. The urge to fill the silence bristled beneath your skin, but you clamp your lips together.

Even when he said he wanted to come with me, he didn't acknowledge anything I said about Rosemary and-

“Are you sure she’s mine?” Ben finally asks interrupting your internal monologue.

You can’t help but laugh, gripping the steering wheel as you snort.  “Why is that the reaction all men have when a woman tells them that they’re pregnant? Is it because all men believe that women go around plotting ways to force them into a relationship? Is that a legitimate fear that you guys have? Or is it because all men think women go jumping from bed to bed having unprotected sex with whoever they can get their hands on?”

“No I just-“ Ben sighs and doesn’t finish his sentence. He’s been staring out through the windshield, watching the outside world fade into blurred colors, glancing over at you every few seconds.

“I’m sorry.” You hadn’t meant to laugh at him, but this was all just extremely awkward.

But it shouldn’t be. You can’t help but think to yourself. If Ben had ever asked me to have a kid with him before any of this I would have agreed to it no questions asked. But now I guess it's different.

“Yes she’s yours.” You sigh, but you can’t look at him.

“But how?”

“Do you really want me to explain the birds and the bees to you?”

“Y/n.” He sighs.

“Because of all the people in the world, you probably have enough experience to know exactly how babies are made and I hate to break it to you, it has nothing to do with a stork.”

 “Please don’t make a joke right now.”

“I can’t help it.” You mutter butterflies dancing the conga in your stomach. “You know how I get when I get nervous.” You could practically feel your neurons sending electrical impulses through your body, making your anxiety grow.

I really should have had that coffee this morning. Then again it might go right to my anxiety.

“Why are you nervous?” Ben asks you incredulous. He sounds surprised, like he can't understand you.

“Huh?”

“Why are you nervous? You should be fucking furious with me!"

"Ben what are you talking about?" You turn to look over at him. He looks wrecked. He's hunched in the seat, hands clenched tightly over his thighs, jaw tight.

Is he mad at me? Really? Your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach to be devoured by the swarm of butterflies. I knew it. I knew he wouldn't be able to handle this-

"I did this to you and then I fucking left you. I left you when you needed me and was with those Russian fucks for forty-“ Ben’s voice breaks.

You suddenly understand. Ben wasn’t angry with you, he wasn’t pulling away, he was angry with himself. Guilty and angry because he wasn't there, because he believed that he disappointed you again.

“Ben wait a minute-“

“I should have been there every second.” He seethes, jaw tight, hands clenched into fists on top of his thighs. “I should have- FUCK.” Ben’s fist goes through the roof of the car, making the entire frame shudder.

Shit Butcher might kill us for that.

"Oh Ben-" You whisper.

“I-“ His chest begins to glow. “I said all those things, pushed you away, fucked Countess. I put you through all that shit and you still wanted to have my fucking kid? And you named her after my mom? I-"

Butcher will definitely kill us if Ben blows up his car.

You pull the car over to the side of the road, quickly unbuckling your seatbelt and reaching for Ben. "Ben please it's okay." You breathe, hands finding the sides of his face. "It's okay."

"No it's not." His chest dulls, but he turns his head away from you ashamed. "You told me that you wanted a family, that you wanted someone to come home to, someone who loved you. I wanted to give you those things, but not like this. I-" Ben's voice cracks. "I'm so sorry. I-"

"Ben." You whisper, turning his face back to yours so he's looking at you. His green eyes are dim, eyebrows pushed together, mouth turned down in a frown. And you can't help but kiss him. It's the first kiss you'd had in years. Life always seemed to get in the way of that. Whether it was Rosemary or Lou, you hadn't had a lasting relationship with someone in decades, not since Ben. The most you’d done is gone out with another artist and had dinner. It had ended in an awkward kiss that felt completely wrong to you. It didn't feel anything like this.

Kissing Ben was even more wonderful than you remember. The way he softly sighs into your mouth as he deepens the kiss, the way his hands find your waist to pull you over the center console into his lap, the way your hands automatically tangle in his thick dark hair on the back of his head, and the way your entire body melted into him. Warm tingles trace down your spine as your lips move against his, every synapse in your body electrifying, as you try your hardest to tell him how much he means to you with the kiss.

"Don't you understand." You say against his lips, stroking your fingers through his hair. "You did. You gave me a family. You gave me someone to come home to, someone who loves me. And now that she’s all grown up it gets to be you. You didn’t ruin my life. I don’t regret a single moment, even with everything that happened. I don't regret having Rosemary. You gave me what I wanted. It might not have looked the way I thought it would, but it doesn't make it any less special.”

"But I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I-" Ben sighs leaning his forehead against yours and you kiss him again, his tongue tangling with yours so devastatingly languid it seems to take your next breath.

Why did I ever deny myself this?

"Ben, you're here now, and that's all that matters to me."

"But-"

"You don't need to apologize for this Ben. What happened to you was not your fault. You couldn't control being away as long as you were-"

"I could have tried harder to escape. I could have-" He swallows, eyes wide and filled with pain. "I would have tried harder if I knew that I left you with-"

"Ben." You breathe, extracting your fingers from his hair and cupping his cheeks. "Please. I don't blame you for not being there. It was out of your control. And if-" You clear your throat with a sigh. "If you really love me as much as you say, if you've really loved me all this time, then I know you would have been there every second."

"I do. I love you." He kisses you again, breathing you in, holding you so tight against his chest as if he believes that you'll fade away in his arms. "I would have been, even if you hated having me there."

"I might have at the beginning, but now I can't imagine losing you. I can't imagine you leaving me. I don't think that I'll be able to survive this time-"

"I won't leave. I promise."

"I'm starting to believe you." Your thumbs stroke against Ben's cheeks, smiling softly at him, trying to fight the urge to cry, because your emotions are getting the best of you all over again. "Now can we please go? Or are you going to blow up Butcher's car?"

"One more Sweetheart." Ben murmurs, dragging your face back to his. "I've waited forty years for this."

"Does she know about me?" Ben says from your bedroom, over the sound of the sink.

You were standing in your bathroom, washing ash and blood from your face and picking rubble out of your hair. Honestly, you looked… weathered. The revenge outfit had a large irreparable hole that went through the blouse, not to mention you'd lost another favorite jacket and you were starting to get pissed.

Two down in a week. Maybe the vintage shop across the street from Rosemary's will have a nice selection. You reconsider. Or maybe Legend will have some clothes that he doesn't want. You smile to yourself. He certainly looks the same, must have some nice vintage clothes from the "good old days". Maybe I should be more worried about the fact that I’m more upset about ruining another jacket rather than the fact that we killed two people today.

Of course, you also needed to consider getting Ben some more clothes as well. Butcher's minimal selection was dismal, then again Ben could probably wear a garbage bag and be drop dead gorgeous.

He's the worst.

"Yeah. I told her who you were." You pull off the jacket, stroking your finger around the hole in the back of it, noticing the way the singed leather melted away from the laser. "She also knows you're back. It was-um- it was Rosemary who was texting me this morning." You momentarily feel guilty again. Rosemary was not excited to see Ben, the text messages this morning were a testament to that. And you were afraid that Ben was going to get his hopes up about seeing her.

Personally you weren't sure how he was going to approach this. Your heart just about broke when he almost exploded in the car from guilt about getting you pregnant. That was shocking, but at the same time the look of anguish on his face made you feel guilty all over again for not trying to get him sooner, for not asking more questions about his death. You knew that he was more indestructible than you. Why didn't I question that?

You reach for the bottom of the blouse, pulling it from your skin, but you look at your reflection in the mirror. There were two prominent scars, each about the size of a nickel, just under the left side of your bra. The only thing left behind from your fight with Homelander.

Ben's hand against the small of your bare back, makes you jump. It was rough and familiar, brushing against your soft skin in a way that makes you want to push back into his touch, to soak up the warmth like a cat in the sun. Proving again that your body still responded to his touch the same way it had your entire life. "Let me see." He rumbles.

"What?"

Ben turns you towards him, eyes dark as they meet yours, but then they drop to the collection of scars on your torso. "This one?" He strokes the golf-ball sized, almost perfect circle on the right lower part of your abdomen.

"Countess."

Ben's jaw tightens, but then raises his hand to the scars Homelander left then to the bullet scar just over your heart. "I hate that so many of these have to do with me."

"Well you didn't do them so you should see that as a win." You joke trying to make Ben smile, but he doesn't. "Ben we talked about this."

"I know." He pauses stroking his finger on a thin line just over your left collarbone.  It was new to him. "What’s this one?"

"Rosemary." A ghost of a smile is on my lips. "Didn't want to eat her broccoli when she was a kid, telekinetically threw a knife at me by accident."

 "She's a supe?"

"Yeah she's like us a bit. Doesn't age, she's strong, and more invulnerable, but she doesn't have any other powers unless she touches you."

"She has to touch you?"

"Yeah skin to skin contact only and only 24 hours, that's how she got telekinesis. She touched me and, well, really didn’t want to eat that broccoli-" You shrug. You were used to her powers, happy that you didn't have to watch her age, but worried about Lou. You were always worried about Lou. “But she's not a hero, she didn't want to be one. She's a nurse, works downtown in the emergency room. Though I think she's thinking about being a doctor."

"A doctor? A female doctor?” Ben’s eyebrows furrow.

Right. He basically missed the feminist movement. Note to self, make Ben watch the Barbie movie.

"Yes a female doctor. Nowadays it happens more often than you’d think.” You laugh. “She wanted to go back to school, but then her husband died and she was taking care of Lou-"

"Lou?"

You take his hand stroking your thumb over the back. “It’s not just Rosemary-“

“Please do not tell me you had fucking twins.” Ben tenses.

“No.” You snort. “Lou is our granddaughter. It's short for Louisa, though Rosie never calls her that unless she's done something crazy.  She’s four, and most of the time she calls me aunty. She doesn’t know I’m her grandmother. Rosie and I, we thought it would be better if I introduced her as my cousin, not as my daughter."

“What happened to her husband?”

“Car accident. Just a few weeks after Lou was born.” Your smile drops remembering. “He was a good guy. Rosemary was head over heels for such a long time, and when he died she just crumbled completely shut down. He wasn't a supe and when she started to have a life with him I was worried about him dying. He wasn't going to live forever and he certainly wasn't indestructible. But after it happened I moved in with them for a while, helped her get through it, but it was hard."

"What about Lou?"

"What about her?"

"Is she a supe?" Ben's palm was still resting on the thin line over your collar bone and it was difficult to think with his bare skin pressed against yours.

"Not that we've noticed. Though I worry every day she will be."

"Why?"

"She's a third generation supe from our bloodline. If that gets out, who knows what'll happen. Same with Rosemary. She’s powerful and she’s only second generation from us. I’m hoping it skipped Lou.” You sigh leaning forward into his hand. "When I first found out that I was pregnant with Rosemary I was afraid that Vought would come take her away. And then when Lou was born I was so happy for Rosie, but everyday I'm scared that-" The words catch in your throat. Nothing really scared you anymore, but the thought of losing Rosie or Lou broke your heart, it was the same fear you had at the thought of losing Ben all over again.

He slides his hand up the column of your throat to cup your cheek.  “Nothing will happen to them.” Ben promises. “I won’t let it.” His gaze was locked on yours, eyes filled with steely determination. It made your heart warm to know that Ben already cares about them, that he understood how important they were to you. It also made you all the more guilty for telling Rosemary everything about Ben, afraid that it turned her against him.

But I told her the bad and the good. I told her how much he meant to me, how he touched my life, our childhoods-

Images of the moments with Ben over your lifetime, the good and the bad, the moments you loved him, the moments you hated him, the simple moments that you longed for more, and the moments where Ben gave you everything you wanted, when he was exactly what you needed, as if he understood every part of you, even the parts that you tired to hide from everyone else. The moments before you were supes when Ben and you were together and he made you forget about your mother, when he walked you home as you sang drunkenly off key, and the moments where he cheered you up when everything seemed hopeless. Ben was always there for you.

You tried to tell her that, but maybe you were too jaded to tell her, maybe you focused too much on the bad. And now that meant she might not listen to his side of the story.

He drags his finger over the scar just over your heart, the one he can't seem to forget, trailing goosebumps in it's wake, while his other hand wraps around your waist tugging you forward against his chest.

By now he was wearing the pair of jeans and dark shirt he came to your apartment in, looking just as devastatingly handsome as he always did. Probably a good thing that he didn't go to her apartment in his supe suit, you didn't want Rosemary to ask him why he was wearing it and then have to tell her that he torched the TNT Twins.

Because telling her that you personally kicked Homelander's ass and that he was now going to hunt down Rosemary and Lou seemed so much easier. Not.

Why is my life like this?

"I can't put a shirt on if you keep doing that." You whisper. Honestly you couldn't think straight either.

"Maybe that's my plan all along."

"Well see, if I never put a shirt on that means that I'll be walking around in public with everyone seeing me without one and-"

Ben's eyes narrow at the thought.

“Oh do you not like that?” You smirk.

He pins you back against the counter, the marble biting into your lower back, but you don’t have time to think about it because Ben’s lips are against yours, supple and urgent, driving every thought from your mind.

Your hands come up to grip his shoulders, fastening him tighter against you while his mouth drags over your skin down your throat to your collarbone.

“Ben we have to go-“ you whisper.

“Let me do this first.” He mutters against your skin.

“Do what?” You sigh, feeling him begin to suck a mark directly over your collarbone. “Ben-“ You try to say his name to make him stop. Showing up to Rosemary’s apartment with a hickey was the last thing you wanted. But instead of his name coming out in the harsh whisper you intended, it comes out as a moan.

Ben’s body tightens around you, gaze meeting yours. His eyes are dark pools filled with promises that make a shiver travel down your spine. “I’ve waited forty years to hear you say my name like that again.” His lips fall back to the same spot. “And I look forward to hearing it like that in the future.”

Part of you is screaming too soon! But there’s another part rattling the bars of her cage that screams more! At the top of its lungs.

Ben continues to kiss along your neck, beard scratching against the soft skin in a way that makes you sigh and move your hands up to tangle in his hair.

You can feel Ben’s smile. “That’s my girl.”

“Only yours.” You whisper before you can stop yourself causing Ben to raise his head from your collarbone.

“Damn right.”He growls.

And there goes my last shred of willpower. Fuck.

Rosemary’s apartment building sends a deep feeling of dread through your system. You were happy that you got to change, happy that Ben got to change, but now thanks to the man sitting in the front seat across from you there was a large purple mark just on your collarbone that was barely covered by the long sleeved sweater you had on.

Please let Rosemary not see it.

Ben wasn’t helping. Since your apartment he hadn’t let go of your hand. The entire ride to Rosemary’s he held it over the center console of Butcher’s car, slowly stroking the back of it with his thumb making warm tendrils creep up your arm and settle in your heart. It was just like the night after the restaurant when Ben drove you home and he showed a softer side of himself that you hadn’t seen in forty years.

In the past 48 hours Ben had been more attentive and loving than he ever had and it made you hopeful for the future, hopeful that this really was going to work.

But you  were still afraid that this was happening so fast. You weren’t expecting yourself to be so open to forgiving him, to be so ready to let him back in, to let him pick up the pieces of your heart but there he was holding duct tape with his piercing eyes and annoyingly gorgeous face.

“This is a nice apartment building.” Ben says looking up at the towering behemoth.

“She really likes it.” You shrug. “It’s close to a lot of schools and Rosie’s job. I kinda thought it was too uppity.”

“Neighborhood looks safe.” Ben gets out of the car.

“Yeah it-“ You begin to say trying to open your door but as soon as you do Ben is there opening it for you. “Oh thanks.”

“You look surprised.” He smiles.

“It’s just been a while since someone has opened a door for me.”

Ben’s smile twitches for a second. “Y/n?”

“Yes Ben.” You smooth the front of his shirt.

“How many others have there been?” He asks quietly.

You pause for a second hand still on his chest.   As ridiculous as it might seem to some people, the truth was there hadn’t been anyone else.

At first it was difficult to find time for anything eat alone that in particular. Chasing a toddler around that occasionally picked up the couch and threw it across the room with her mind was enough to keep anybody busy, not to mention that you didn’t want to leave Rosemary alone with anyone for a night. And when Rosemary finally went off the college and you started to sell your paintings you started to get more comfortable being on your own again. You’d gone out to dinner with a few men who asked you after your show shared a kiss, but nothing ever felt right.

Finally came the one night that you thought things could be different. Max was a colleague that had flirted with you every chance he got. He wasn’t bad looking, reminded you a bit of Ben and your friend Adam Winthrop growing up. Max was also an artist who came to each of your shows, talked you down from the ledge whenever you thought the work wasn’t good enough and always took you out to get a drink after a show to make you feel better. He was sweet, funny, but when you were with him something always felt different.

But one night you figured why not? So you gave in, went back with Max to his apartment, but you couldn’t go all the way. It felt wrong. You could tell how much he liked you, how much he wanted you, but you didn’t want him. And it felt wrong to use someone. To make them believe you had feelings for them only to push them away.

So you told Max the truth and he respected you, didn’t make anything weird between the two of you, acted like nothing happened.

But now standing here in front of Ben with him asking you that question apart of you wished you had found someone else.

“Why?” You ask slowly.

Ben shrugs. “I don’t know you just haven’t- I mean we haven’t talked about that and-“

“I have never asked you how many people you’ve slept with. And I really don't think this is the best time?"

“I know that you've never asked but the last time I saw you I mean-" Ben's hand gently touches your waist, stroking against the top of your favorite worn pair of jeans.

You knew exactly what he was thinking about, he was thinking about the night you shared together, when he was everything you wanted, and he made you feel special loved, when he was gentle and made love to you the way you always imagined.

And yes maybe sex was off the table for a while, but it would come up again, eventually.

"Ben, can we talk about this after we get Rosemary and Lou back to Legend's?" You whisper placing a hand on his chest before you can stop yourself. You weren't sure if you'd ever be able to stop touching him, if you'd ever be able to stand in his presence and not feel warm or happy. You never expected it to be like this again, and certainly not so soon.

Ben looks disappointed for a moment, his green eyes flashing in the brilliant sunlight as it begins to sink behind the buildings. The wind carried the smells of summer, ice cream, beer, sunscreen, and just a hint of rain, rustling through the trees on the edge of Central Park. There would be a storm soon and you hoped that you were on the road before it hit. You hated driving in the rain.

"Okay." He releases your waist and takes your hand once more. "But we are going to talk about it right?"

"I don't see why it's so important." You steer him towards the front double doors where the doorman, Rodger, stands in a green and gold suit.

"Welcome back miss." Rodger smiles and opens one of the heavy glass doors for Ben and you.

"Thank you Rodger. How's the wife?" You flash a winning smile at him, still holding on tight to Ben who walks silently next to you.

"She's doing a lot better. The treatments are going well. She seems more like herself each day." Rodger smiles wider, eyes misting a little bit.

"That's wonderful to hear. Tell her I say hello." You say continuing to the gilded elevator that sits on the other side of the large marble lobby of the apartment building.

The truth was you knew that his wife was doing better, just as you knew she was receiving her treatments. Last Christmas Rodger had broken down when he was letting you up to see Lou and Rosemary and told you that his wife was diagnosed with lung cancer and because they didn’t have the money for treatment, it would probably be her last Christmas. Rodger was one of the kindest people you knew, and you didn't want him to lose his wife, so Rosemary and you both decided to shift around the generous funds that her grandfather left you, to send an anonymous donation so Rodger's wife could get treatment.

"Of course miss."

The elevator door closes, leaving Ben and you alone again, playing a cover of "Don't Stop Believing" on the piano.

 Ben tugs you close and kisses you softly, so soft that it makes your eyes flutter while he smiles down at you. "I love you."

"What did you do?" You joke, nerves of Rosemary seeing Ben gone for a moment.

"You have such a big heart." He strokes his finger down your cheek, eyes soft as he gazes at you.

"He was going to lose his wife." You murmur. Ben was doing it again, seeing through you, understanding you even without knowing the whole story. It was like he always had a way of laying you bare, able to see your thoughts and secrets even though he wasn't a mind reader. "He loves her so much and for him to lose her like that-"

Ben hugs you closer to his chest. "I understand what that's like."

You see where his mind is, see that it's on a beach overseas, with blood soaked sand and your body lying in his arms as you draw your last breath. It hurt you to see the pain in his eyes, the loss even when you were standing right in front of him, even when you were in his arms, pressed against him in the way that always made you think that he was made for you just as the way you were made for him.

How could I ever forget how he made me feel? How wonderful it was to be with him when all you could see was the boy you grew up with?

"I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere. I promise." You kiss him gently on the tip of his nose. It was more to reassure yourself than anything else. Rosemary was not going to react well to seeing him.

Might as well rip the band aid off right now.

The hallway is quiet, carpet plush and thick beneath your shoes and Ben and you make your way to the door at the end of the hallway. The blue paint is supposed to be calming, but your anxiety spikes as you raise your free hand to knock against the front door.

Please let her be here and not be kidnapped by Homelander.

The door opens.

Rosemary is dressed for work. Her maroon scrubs are clean and neat, her dark hair pulled back in a bun, her make up soft. She looks calm, but you can see the coming storm, just as you felt the coming storm outside the building, feel the electricity against your skin before the thunderclouds rose on the horizon. As soon as her eyes meet yours they narrow.

She's pissed.

"What are you doing here? I told you that I didn't need you to watch Lou tonight. Her babysitter is coming." Rosemary glances at Ben once, frown deepening as she notices his hand holding yours. You knew she was still holding back what she wished to say, choosing rather to ignore his presence rather than tear him apart here.

"I know. I'm not here for that. We have to go." You say, not wanting to discuss the full gravity of the situation in the hallway, but Rosemary shifts to block the doorway.

"You're not coming in. Not with him." She spits the word 'him' like it's a curse and you feel Ben's body tense in surprise.

I should have prepared him for this.

"Hi I’m-" Ben begins to say, trying to smooth things over.

"I know who you are." Rosemarys eyes narrow and flick back to you. “I can’t believe you fucking forgave him.”

"I-"

"Before you say you didn't that fucking hickey on your neck says otherwise."

Your cheeks flush bright red in embarrassment, shifting the sweater to hide it again. “Rosie-“

“No no no. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Rosie-“ Ben tries to say.

"Don't you dare call me that." She snarls, face contorting in rage, burning so hot that you could practically feel the air around her raising in temperature. "You don't know me. We're not friends. And I don't care what she says, you're not my dad. You're just the asshole that fucked my mom, got her pregnant and then ripped her heart out." Rosemary spits. “Do you have any idea what you put my mother through? Do you have any idea?"

Ben's body is still tense beside you, pulled so taunt that you don't know how he hasn’t snapped "I know and I apolo-“

“You think one measly apology makes that okay? MAKES ANY OF THIS OKAY?”

“Can we please not do this in the hallway?” You sigh. The last thing you wanted was Mrs. Norbert, Rosemary's prehistoric nosy neighbor coming out into the hall with her yappy French poodle, the same one that always snapped at your ankles and at Lou when you ran into her in the lobby.

“He’s not coming in here.” Rosemary stands her ground in the doorway.

"I know that you’re angry, but I need you to put that aside right now because there are more pressing things we have to worry about.” 

"Like what?" Her eyes narrow at you. "Oh let me guess, you guys fucked again, you're pregnant and now you're going to-"

"Don't you dare speak to her that way." Ben roars trying to step in front of you,  but you put your hand up to stop him.

Rosemary might be your daughter, but to Ben she was someone who insulted you, family or no, he wasn't going to sit back and let her treat you that way.

"Ben." You say once to calm him down. The last thing you wanted was for him to go nuclear right now. "Rosemary please. I know that you're angry, but we're not here for some big reunion. This is more important than any of this. This is about keeping Lou safe."

At the mention of her daughter's name, you see Rosemary's resolve waver. Her eyes flick to Ben again, once more sizing him up. "Fine." She opens the door wider, so Ben and you can come inside the apartment.

The creative chaos of the living room soothes some of your nerves, but not all. This was going poorly. Well, worse than poorly. Rosemary could barely look at Ben let alone speak to him without looking like she'd smelled something rancid.

You knew it would be bad, but you didn't think that it would be like this.

Apart of your heart broke for Ben. You saw how he acted in the car when you told him he was a father, how upset he'd been at the thought of getting you pregnant and then abandoning you. And now Rosemary was basically making him feel like a deadbeat probably wasn't helped either.

All you hoped was that Ben wasn't focusing on what his father used to say to him about being a disappointment, hoped that he wasn't reliving the memories of everything his father shouted at him at night before Ben fled to the solace of your bedroom.

Because the truth was you weren't disappointed and certainly were not disappointed when you got pregnant. Heartbroken yes. Scared shitless, again yes. But not disappointed, you'd never say that about him or to him, not as long as you lived. You knew exactly what those words would do to him, exactly where they would transport him. And you refused to be the reason Ben was reminded of his father.

"Aunty y/n!" Lou crows as she weaves through the apartment, leaping off the teal colored couch and into your open arms. She squeezes you tightly, burying her face in your neck. To see her safe brings relief washing over you, the same feeling you felt when Rosemary opened the door, but tenfold now knowing that Homelander has not taken either or them.

And he won't ever.

"I missed you." She whispers.

"I missed you too honey." You smile down at your granddaughter. She leans back to glance at her mother who still stands at the front door, holding on to the handle like it's her last nerve. Ben is standing close to you, looking at the little girl in your arms, face impassive, but his eyes betray him, caught somewhere between shock, anger, and just a twinge of guilt.

Please don't be guilty Ben. You think to yourself, trying hard not to reach out and touch him.

"Mommy why were you yelling at aunty y/n?"  Lou looks at where Rosemary stands awkwardly by the door glaring at Ben.

"Because I didn’t tell her my friend Ben was coming." You say rubbing her back softly.

"Him?" She points at Ben.

"Yes. And don't point honey it's rude."

"Hi." Lou gives him a toothless smile and waves her chubby hand at him, her dark hair flopping away from her face as she does so.

Ben blinks at her for a moment, before his mouth begins to quirk in a half smile, shoulders still tense. But you could see that he was trying, and it meant something that he was despite Rosemary practically tearing him a new one in the hallway.

"He looks like mommy." Lou giggles cuddling into your neck to look at him.

It was the one thing that you hadn't prepared Ben for, how much he looked like Rosemary, how similar they were. You knew that somewhere deep down he was probably thinking the same thing.

Rosemary's eyes skate to Ben who stares back at her with the same intensity, but something passes in the air between them, something that you can't place.

"Yes. Yes he does sweetie. Now why don’t you go get your art kit for me, and we’ll go." You put her on the ground and Lou scampers off to her bedroom while the three of you stand there in awkward silence.

"Why do we have to go? I thought you didn’t expose yourself because you didn't go to Russia to get him." Rosemary asks. She still wouldn’t say his name. Then again you weren't expecting her to call him dad.

HA. Like that would ever happen.

Ben scoots closer to you reaching for your hand, but when Rosemary narrows her eyes at him, he pauses halfway. So you take his hand instead. "I did expose myself."

"How? Because of him?"

"Look I get that you're pissed, but I'm asking you to put it aside for one second so we can talk about this."

"Fine." Rosemary crosses her arms over her chest. "I'm listening." She still looks angry.

And you know what you're about to say is going to make her even angrier.

"We went to talk to the TNT Twins and things went south." You begin, swallowing the lump in your throat.

"Why?"

"I'll explain that later. But all you need to know is that things went badly and Homelander showed up."

Rosemary's hands tighten on her biceps so tight that her knuckles turn white at the mention of Homelander. Like you Rosemary didn't have any experience with him, only that she also knew there was something off about him.

"What did you do?" She whispers.

"It's not what she did, it's more what that fucker did." Ben almost spits, his skin heating where it rests in your hand.

"Ben." You say squeezing his hand softly as a warning. He gains control. "There wasn't a choice. We got into a fight-"

Rosemary's eyes widen, inhaling sharply. And before she can stop herself, she touches your shoulder, eyes tracing your body as if looking for injuries. "Did he hurt you? Are you okay?"

"Yes Rosie I'm fine, but he knows who I am and that means-"

"He knows who we are." Her eyes flick in the direction Lou went to grab her bag. "Shit."

"You can say that again." Ben mutters.

"Give me five minutes." Rosemary looks from Ben to you for a moment. "But this doesn't change anything."

"I know. Just go. We'll wait here." You reply with a tight lipped smile.

You hoped that one day this would get easier, that Rosemary would be able to look at Ben or have a conversation with him without killing him. The three of you seemed to be practically immortal, that was a long time to hold a grudge. And you didn't want there to be a division in your family. You'd lived with one before and you didn't want to go back through that, the awkward holidays, passive aggressive letters, and tense conversations. You didn't want that for your new family.

Maybe if I show her how much Ben has changed she'll warm up to him.

"Are you okay?" You whisper.

Ben was looking around the living room with an unreadable expression, flicking through the photos on the back of the couch of Rosemary, You, and Lou to the hand drawn pictures on the refrigerator in the kitchen.

"Ben?"

"Yeah." He mutters. "I'm fine."

But you could tell he wasn't. He wasn't really focusing on anything, and even his tone of voice was strange, hollow, but before you could press him further Rosemary and Lou come back into the room.

"Here let me-" Ben steps forward to take one of the large duffle bags from Rosemary, attempting to help, but Rosemary yanks the bag out of his reach.

"No I don’t need your help. I don’t need anything from you."

"Rosemary-" You sigh.

"And she doesn’t either." Rosemary gestures to you with the bag. "Do you have any idea what you did to her? How much you hurt her? And now you think you can just waltz back in here and say 'oh I’ll fix it' like you didn’t fuck up her life?"

"Rosemary!" You shout eyes flicking to where Lou was standing with her TMNT  backpack on with wide eyes.

"No. You might not be able to say it to him. But I will. We don’t need you here. We've survived the past forty fucking years without you and we'll survive the next million!"

"Rosemary stop." You step forward this time to move between them, but Rosemary doesn't back down.

"Stop what?" She shouts. "Stop reminding you of what he did? I'm sorry, but I'm not going to just look into his eyes and forgive him like you did-"

"I DID NOT LOOK INTO HIS EYES AND FORGIVE HIM.” You snap, but then stop to take a breath. “We are working through it-"

"Uh-huh sure." Rosemary rolls her eyes. "Just stay away from Lou and from me." She moves around Ben with Lou in tow, storming through the front door of the apartment and leaving you and Ben in the living room.

Oh yeah… This is really working out for the best.

The ride to Legend's is dead silent, all three hours, broken up only once when you stop for gas, but even then Rosemary won't speak to you. She barely makes eye contact as she takes Lou to the bathroom, leaving Ben and you to stand at the car, watching the rain soak through the cracked pavement outside. But even Ben has been more quiet than usual, staring through the windshield of the car lost in thought, and you didn't ask him to fill the silence. You figured that with everything that happened over the past few hours, Ben deserved some silence.

When Lou and Rosemary got back to the car, Ben had silently taken the car keys from you and slid behind the wheel. He knew how much you hated driving in the rain.

Legend didn't require an introduction to your daughter, but it had been an awkward meeting for Butcher and Hughie who breezed through the front hallway on the way up the stairs to their bedrooms.

And finally when it was just Ben, Rosemary, Lou, and you standing at the foot of the stairs, you still had no idea what to say, or if there really was anything to say. You knew that Rosemary didn't want to talk out everything in front of Lou.

By now it was past midnight and you could see that Lou was already starting to sway on her feet. It was hours past her bedtime, but she was still in good spirits. Lou never seemed to stop smiling, she was happy all the time, excited to try new things, and it always reminded you of the way Rosemary used to be when she was a child and as an adult before she lost her husband.

"Rosemary-" You begin to say, throat tightening.

"I'm going to take Lou to bed. We can talk in the morning." She doesn't look at Ben or you, but you could tell that she was tired. She was still wearing her maroon scrubs, hadn’t changed out of them, too worried about Homelander, but her hair had pulled free of the bun and her makeup was a little more smudged under her eyes now. "Say goodnight Lou."

"Goodnight aunty y/n." Lou says tottering over to you, and you stoop down on the ground to hug her close to your chest the anxiety about Homelander prickling under your skin once more.

“Tomorrow can we paint some?” She gives you a wide toothless smile.

She'd lost one of her front teeth a few days ago, and was particularly proud of the hole it left behind. She'd been excited to meet the tooth fairy, even wrote a thank you note and drew a picture of her holding her tooth out for the fairy.

“Whatever you want sweetie.” You smile as she pulls away, brushing her dark hair from her wide eyes.

But instead of going back to where Rosie is holding out her hand for Lou, she turns and hugs Ben’s leg where he stands next to you. Her head barely reaches the top of his knee, but it doesn't dissuade her from hugging him with all her might.

Ben stiffens, unsure what to do.

“Goodnight Ben.” Lou looks up at him with the same smile she had for you.

You feel your own lips begin to pull up at the edges to see how much Lou wanted Ben to like her, how much she was trying to make him feel at home. It warmed you heart.

Ben looks stunned for a minute, eyes flicking to yours wide, and Rosie looks angry, but slowly, Ben begins to smile. “Goodnight honey.” He rumbles giving her a pat on the head, because he's still not sure exactly how to handle this.

Lou smiles pleased with herself then lets Rosemary take her away waving once from over Rosemary's shoulder at Ben as Rosemary climbs the stairs in the direction of the room that Legend saved for them.

Ben stands there watching them go for a minute, lost in thought. “She doesn’t like me.”

“Lou? She loves you. Of course there’s a lot to love.” You smile, trying to take his hand, but Ben pulls away. His rejection pricks at your heart, you couldn't tell why he was doing that, why he was pulling away from you again.

Is he angry? At me? At Rosemary? Or Is this him being angry at himself all over again?

You thought that he was doing better up until you went to Rosemary’s apartment, thought that he wasn’t as upset about leaving you in the past. But now you weren’t sure.

“There’s a lot to hate.” He mutters, his eyes won't quite meet yours and the fear of him leaving begins to creep back, shuddering through your bones like the chill of a winter wind.

“As there is with anybody-“ You try to recover from his rejection, searching his face to understand why he was acting so different.

“I want Rosie to like me. I’m her father-“ He turns to stare at you, green eyes dark, filled with an clouding of emotions that strike you straight in the heart. It wasn't happiness, it wasn't love, it was something different, something that made a lump lodge itself in the back of your throat.

“I know Ben. She just needs some time-" You begin to say, reaching for him, but Ben steps away from you again, refusing to let you comfort him.

"Why did you tell her all those things about me? Did you really hate me that much?” Ben shouts, voice reverberating up the staircase, so loud that you're sure other people can hear you.

"What are you talking about-"

"All the shit that happened between us. Everything that happened that night. Everything I did-“

"She asked me for the truth and I didn't want to lie to her-" You try to explain.

You hadn't. You wanted her to know the truth about her father, just as she knew that truth about you. You thought that she deserved that. And it wasn't like you told Rosemary when she was three. You told her everything that happened when she was twenty three and she had just started seriously dating her future husband, when she was scared because she’d never felt that way about anyone before. And it reminded you of how you felt about the boy Ben used to be.

"I wish you had. Damnit y/n I'm her father, she should like me!" He seethes, fists clenched. Ben towers over you green eyes blazing in the soft light coming from the lights that line the hallway.

And somewhere deep down you start to feel angry. It comes surging up like the roar of a crowd pricking at the back of your spine until you can’t take it anymore.

"It's been 4 fucking hours since you met her, GIVE HER TIME."

"I can't believe you did this." Ben spits glaring at you.

"Are you serious right now?" Your mouth opens in shock.

Was this just some kind of joke? Is he really mad at me for this? Does he really think that I would do something like this purposely?!

"Did you really hate me that much? Did you really feel the need to turn her against me? Make her not love me?"

"I didn't turn her against you Ben. And I didn’t make her not love you." You snap back. "Yes I was angry with you, but that didn't mean that I didn't want you with me every single second in Rosemary's life.  I didn’t want to do that alone. I shouldn’t have had to but I don't blame you for that. I’ve told you that-“

“Yeah you’re really showing that. You turned her against me. Made me some villain. Made me some monster who fucked you and then left-“

“I THOUGHT THAT’S WHAT YOU DID DIPSHIT!” You poke your finger into his chest. “Just because I’ve chosen to begin to forgive you does not mean I forgot what you did and what you said to me that night. But I’ll say this.”

He tries to open his mouth to retort, but you speak first.

“Every time something happened with Rosemary I turned to tell you and you weren’t there.

When I went into labor I wished you were there to hold my hand and tell me that everything was going to be okay, I wished that you were there smiling down at her when you held her for the first time. When she took her first steps and fell on her butt I wished you were there to swing her around and make her laugh. When I showed her how to paint for the first time I wished that you were there to see how she was covered in paint from head to toe. And I only told her those things about you because she asked and I don’t lie to my family. I’ve never lied to Rosemary and I’ve never lied to you. Ever.”

Ben stands there stuck straight each muscle clenched, wether it be in frustration or anger you don’t care. Your own anger was coming back, unlocking from the place you shoved it down when you thought you needed to be the perfect person you wanted others to see you as and not the broken girl who lived with a hole in her heart for so long.

“And yeah maybe you can be in here and pout and fucking blame me for her hating you. And maybe I shouldn’t have told her those things but I did.  I told her the good and the bad about you just as she knows the good and the bad about me. She can make her own decisions because she’s a damn adult. And don’t you dare say that I didn’t want you there every second.  Because I did. Even though you fucking ripped my heart out and stomped all over it I still wished that you could have been there for her, could have filled her life with love as much as I did.”

"But you still did it." Ben growls.

And you realize that maybe this is it, maybe that this is the one thing that pushes him away from you.

"Fine. Hate me if you want. I'm going to get a drink. Don’t  follow me." You snap before turning and stomping towards the kitchen, away from him, all the while hoping that he’ll follow after you.

But he doesn’t.

Despite wanting to grab one of the bottles of whiskey in Legend's kitchen, you restrain yourself and instead turn to the coffeemaker. It was fancier than yours, but you supposed that coffee would taste the same. You busy yourself with the steps of making the coffee to stop going over what you and Ben just yelled at one another, but your hands were still shaking.

Did he really think I didn't want him there? I mean yeah I was pissed from everything that happened, but I didn't want Rosemary to grow up without a father. I would have told him eventually that I was pregnant, I didn't want to do that alone.

You pour yourself a cup of coffee and lean back against the counter as you take a sip remembering the day you took the pregnancy test. It was more obvious than anything else, not the lack of your period but the morning sickness. You never got sick. You remembered being afraid at first, the thought of raising a child alone scared you. You weren't sure you even wanted to be a mother, because of everything yours put you through. But then you thought of Ben. Yes you hated him, but the baby might be the last part of him that existed anywhere. If you decided not to have it, Ben would really be gone and you would be alone all over again. So you decided to have Rosemary and you never regretted that decision. Especially now that she had Lou.

You roll the cup in your hands, feeling the warmth of the mug transfer into your palms.

Maybe I shouldn't have told her everything I did. But she knows everything about me. She knows that I killed Countess. She knows the good and bad about me. It felt unfair to only tell her the good about Ben, she deserves to know the truth. She's just upset. Honestly, she's also a upset with me as well for forgiving him or partially forgiving him.

You move to the kitchen table, stretching out in the worn wooden chair and place your mug down on the circular dark wood table. You wanted Rosemary to warm up to him, but at the same time you didn't want to get in between them. She needed to do this for herself and you didn't want to force them together.

You hear someone enter the kitchen. Probably Ben. But when you look up you realize that it's Butcher.

He stands just on the edge as if he's debating whether or not he wants to come in.

"Didn't realize you were still up." He raises an eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise love?"

"You realize that the V is completely out of your system right now right? And I could slowly peel your skin from your body with my mind if I wanted to?" You mirror his eyebrow raise while taking a sip of coffee.

"Eh. Worse ways to go." Butcher shrugs. "Anything stronger in here than coffee?"

"Top cabinet above the refrigerator. The good stuff is in the back. Legend usually tries to hide it from himself."

“Why?”

“Because he thinks it’s a waste to drink the good stuff when he’s really drunk and can’t appreciate it.”

“Seems fair.” Butcher finds the bottle of whiskey easily, moving to the cabinets to find a glass. “You want a cuppa?”

“I told myself I wasn’t going to-“ You pause for a moment thinking of how wonderful it would be if you could just forget for a few minutes. “But sure.”

“Coffee not working?”

“It never has.” You take the cup gratefully from his outstretched hand as Butcher folds himself into the chair next to you. It was weird to say the least. The only thing he had done was act hostile to you and now him being nice was enough to give you whiplash.

The rest of the house was completely silent, except the soft turn of pages. You figured that meant Rosie was reading one of her books to distract herself from everything that happened earlier.

I should be in there talking to her. Trying to explain all this.

But you were tired and still reeling from your fight with Ben and didn’t feel like getting into it with Rosemary for the second time today.

“So why’d you do it?” Butcher takes a big swig from the glass in front of him.

“What?”

“You lied about your powers to Vought for years. Why?”

You roll the glass between your fingers, watching the amber colored liquid slosh against the sides. “I’ll answer that if you answer my question.”

Butcher pauses. “Fine.”

“What did Homelander do to your wife?”

Butcher freezes, leaning back in his chair, one hand on his thigh curling into a fist.

"Legend told me that you had this thing for him because of it-" You continue cocking your head to the side examining Butcher's sudden tense stance.

“Not important.”

“Then I guess you won’t find out more about me.” You shrug.

After the past few days you didn't understand how you were here drinking with Butcher of all people. You still didn't completely trust him and you didn't like that he wanted to use Ben like he was his own personal nuclear bomb.

You both sit in the silence for a few minutes waiting for the other to break.

“He raped her.”

The words are heavy, expelled in a breath after Butcher drains his glass. For a minute you see his tough exterior crack, see the vulnerability in his stature, but then it's gone again. You feel your heart thud once in your chest, jaw locking. It only proved again how messed up Homelander was.

“Is she-"

"She's dead." He pours himself another full glass from the bottle of whiskey.

"I'm sorry." You whisper, starting to understand why he hated Homelander so much. Honestly if Homelander did something like that to my family I would rip him limb from limb.

For the first time since you met Butcher, you feel sorry for him, you understand where the sadness in his gaze comes from and where the tough exterior seems to mask the vulnerability underneath.

But at the same time, you refused to underestimate him.

Butcher nods once then glances over at you expectantly as if re-asking his question with only a look.

“It’s never been about the power for me. Or about proving how powerful I was to other people. I got the injection because Ben asked me to. It wasn't because I wanted to be superhuman or god-like or special. Plus I figured as soon as Vought or the government found out what I could really do then I’d never see the light of day again.”

"But how did you keep it a secret from Vought? They have so many fucking connections." He presses.

"Honestly Ben and I didn't figure it out until the 60s."

"Why is that?"

"The first time I died it wasn't a supe that killed me so there wasn't a change. But later when more supes started coming out of the woodwork, that's when we realized it. And I didn't care."

"Somehow you had to care." Butcher leans forward in his chair, looking at you like you're crazy.

"I didn't have a reason to. Ben liked the spotlight and I didn't."

“Is that why you stopped being Indigo?”

“It’s my turn to ask a question cowboy.” You tap your glass with a smile. “Who’s Ryan?” You had heard Hughie and Butcher whisper the name a few times, figured that it was another supe they were planning to merc.

He hesitates. “Homelander’s kid.”

“He has a kid?” Your mouth drops open in shock.

How does Butcher know that? Is it because he's so obsessed with Homelander that he's going to ask Ben to go after Homelander's son? No. No way. Like hell I'm gonna let this guy kill a kid.

You try to think of a reason why Vought would keep Homelander's son out of the media, a reason why they wouldn't show that the golden boy had a perfect son.

“But how I mean-“ You stop tracing Butcher's face, watching the way his eyes harden, and how his jaw locks together and you realize why Butcher knows about Homelander's kid. “Your wife.”

Butcher doesn’t answer, doesn't confirm what you've said, instead he pours more from the bottle into his glass.

Wow that’s fucked up.

“I’d say I'm sorry again, but I don’t think it’s going to help and honestly I thought my life was way more fucked up than yours. Guess not.” You take a sip from the glass in front of you. It burns pleasantly as it travels down you throat reminding you how much you missed it. “It got old quick.”

“What did?” Butcher looks up from the wooden table.

“Being a hero dealing with all that Vought shit. Plastering a smile on my face, flaunting in front of the cameras, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Ben liked it. He was always in the spotlight, the golden boy and I was too, but we’d been doing it for years and I always- I don’t know- wanted a family.”

Your mind suddenly goes back to the night you told Ben that, the night that you told him what you wanted and how today Ben professed that he wanted to be the one to give you those things, always had wanted to give you those things.

The fight you just had resurfaces in your mind, thinking of how angry he was at you for telling Rosemary the truth about him.

I made my choice. She made hers. One day I think she'll warm up to him, but until then he's just going to have to get through this.

Just because you believed that did not make it any easier. Your heart was tearing in two. You wanted Rosemary to love him the way you did, but at the same time you were scared all over again that this would all be too much for Ben, too dramatic. He didn't like drama, never seemed to.

“Really?” Butcher doesn’t look convinced by your confession.

“Yeah. Plus I was pregnant with Soldier Boy's kid. Vought was obsessed with Ben and I know that if they knew about Rosemary they wouldn't hesitate to take her away. It would have been worse if they knew what my power was. I doubt they would have let either of us vanish into thin air. But even before that I was seriously thinking about getting out-“

“And Soldier Boy fucking Countess was the final nail in the coffin eh?” Butcher's smirk makes your stomach flip flop.

You were still trying to forget that. Really trying to forget that.

“Yeah.” You grumble into the glass momentarily remembering the night at the premiere, but this time seeing them together doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. And instead it’s replaced by Ben the past few days, the one that continued to reassure you of his love, the one who continued to hold you close to him, the one that kissed you whenever he could, the one who patiently waited for you, and the one who reminded you of the boy you lost all those years ago.

Butcher watches you for a moment. “I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard.”

You look at him surprised. It was the first time that Butcher seemed to actually, well, give a shit.

“Thanks. It was.” You wait a second. “So how did you meet Hughie?”

“Why is that important?”

“Because he’s nothing like you. He’s a good kid.”

“You sayin I ain’t a good person love?”

“Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Butcher has the audacity to smile. “You know what I think? I think you pretend to be a good person but you’re really just a bitch who probably didn’t get enough hugs as a kid.”

You lean back in your chair feigning shock. “Is it that obvious?”

He shakes his head with a chuckle. “I don’t see how you got mixed up with Soldier Boy in the first place.”

“I did tell you.”

“What?”

“I didn’t lie about some of the things I said to you the first time we met. Ben and I grew up together. We were friends before all of this.”

“And you what? Followed him?”

“Something like that.”

Butcher sits there for a second tapping his finger on the crystal glass in his hand. Everything in Legend's home was vintage or old, the glasses included. You could remember drinking out of these same glasses years ago, on the porch behind Legend's house the day you realized you were pregnant and you told him you were leaving.

Legend didn't know, but you think deep down he did. Anyone who knew Ben couldn't dismiss how much Rosemary looked like him. Not to mention Legend knew what happened that night between the two of you.

Butcher opens his mouth, but as he does, Ben appears in the kitchen doorway. He still looks a little angry, frown prominent on his face, but his green eyes look from the glass to Butcher to you.

"That's my cue." Butcher grunts. "See you in the morning poppet." He vanishes down the hallway behind Ben leaving the two of you alone in the kitchen. It seems smaller with him standing there in the door, blocking most of it with his broad shoulders and wide stance.

"Are you going to come to bed?" He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the doorway.

"Are you going to start yelling at me again?" You raise an eyebrow.

"I wasn’t fucking yelling." Ben grumbles. "And even if I was, you weren't exactly whispering."

"Sounded like yelling to me." You frown at him, before looking down at your glass again.

So much for an apology. Then again I probably owe him one too.

Ben’s jaw tightens. “Please come to bed.” His voice is composed, but you can still hear the tinge of his anger  seep through.

"Surprised you said please. Finally using those manners I've heard so much about." You snark before you can stop yourself.

That is not helping anything.

"Come to bed." His teeth are gritted together.

“Why?"

"Because I said so."

"You are not my dad Ben. You can't just order me around."

"Just fucking come to bed!" He snaps straightening from the door, eyes blazing.

"Why is it so important I come to bed Ben? You need me to read you a bedtime story or something? Or is it because you want to have sex? I hate to break it to you, but I don’t really feel like having sex with you right now. And I don't think I will anytime soon if we keep fucking fighting about stupid-“

“Because I can’t sleep without you there damnit! I never have been able to even when we were fucking kids!"

You pause shocked. Ben had never admitted that before. You were still trying to get used to when he admitted that he loved you how open and vulnerable he’d been, but this-

He’s frowning at you waiting for you to say something, but when you don’t. He turns and stalks back towards the stairs to descend into the basement where the bedroom the two of you were sharing was.

Guilt breaks something in your chest, because now sitting out here felt like a punishment for him and you didn't think that was right.

Damn it.

You wash out the mug in the sink  followed by the glass, but you look at the half-full bottle on the table.

Maybe I should bring it with me?

It swings from your hand as you walk down the dimly lit hallway descending into the fully furnished basement. You weren't thrilled with the room, had insisted that Legend change the sheets and spray down the room before you could sleep in there. You knew him, and knew exactly what had happened Legend's house since he had it custom built years ago.

Ben is sitting on the edge of the bed, smoking a blunt that he probably got from Butcher, who seemed to have an endless supply for Ben, much to your annoyance.

"I'm such a fucking pussy. I shouldn't have said that." He mutters more to himself than to you. His gaze is lowered on the shag carpet.

It was the first time that you'd heard him say something like that since he came back to you, something that sounded more like Soldier Boy than the boy you grew up with, sounded more like Ben's father.

"Ben." You sigh, putting the bottle on the bedside table, before you tilt his head back to look at you, hand cupping his chin. "You're not a pussy. I can't sleep without you either and there’s nothing wrong with that.  I don't want you to feel like you can't say stuff like that to me. I love you and I won't judge you for that or think less of you. I will judge you for saying stupid shit like you did earlier."

“I’m sorry.” He sighs out a breath of smoke. “I just hate that she doesn’t like me. I’m her father she should like me-“ He repeats the same idea from earlier.

“She just needs to warm up to you."

“Maybe.” Ben mutters. "Or maybe she won't."

He looks upset. But not his usually angry upset, more disappointed and you decide that’s worse. Ben was so strong and didn’t allow himself to give in to his emotions the same way everyone else did. You hated that about him, but you were the only person who knew why. Ben's father had made him believe that showing emotion made you weak, you were there a few times that he yelled at Ben, heard the horrible things that he shouted at his only son, and it broke your heart. If it was your lot in life to bring him peace, to show him love, and to teach him that it was okay to be vulnerable, you happily would bear that cross.

You gently push back on his shoulder so he’ll move his forearms where they rest on his thighs and so you can sit on his lap. Ben’s arm comes around your waist to hold you to him, while the other continues to rest between you when he takes another drag from the blunt. “Ben, I promise she will.” Your knees rest on either side of his hips as you balance on him, ignoring the urge to wrinkle your nose at the smell.

“Your family never seems to like me.”

“She’s your family too and Lou loves you.” You brush his hair back from his face and he leans forward into your touch. "She's an excellent judge of character. Pretty soon she's gonna be drawing you in the family portraits and once that happens you're in, there's nothing stopping you."

Ben's mouth twitches but he doesn’t smile. "She's cute."

“She is. And if she likes you, you’re doing something right.” You smile at him. “And my family liked you it was just my mom who thought you were the devil. My brother thought that you were okay and my dad liked you plenty. Remember he never ratted you out when you slept in my room?”

“He was a good man. We would talk sometimes.” Ben blows out a lungful of smoke and this time your nose wrinkles at the offensive smell, before you realize what he’s just admitted.

Ben notices your discomfort and flicks the blunt into the ashtray shaped like a naked woman on the bedside table.

“About what?” Your father had never mentioned any conversation with Ben or at least you didn't remember him saying anything about Ben, beside your father's usual questions as to what Ben and you were going to do that day.

“You.” Ben whispers, not meeting your eye.

“When?”

“Sometimes I’d come try to see you when you were out with Howard." Ben sighs his name. "Ended up talking with your dad.”

“Are you serious?”

He nods hands gently stroking along your waist.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you came by?”

“Didn’t think it was important Sweetheart.” Ben pauses eyes flicking up sheepishly to look at you. "I didn't want you to think that I was hanging around waiting for you to get back. I was but-" You can tell that it pains him to say it, like he didn't want to admit he cared, but the thought that he came by to check on you made you happy.

“What did you say about me?”

Ben presses his lips together.

“Ben?”

“He wanted to know how your artwork was coming along, what we had done in the past week. Stuff like that. One time he said he didn’t like Howard either.”

“What?" Your hands tighten on Ben's shoulders in shock.

“He said that he hated the way you looked whenever Howard came around and then he said if he was gonna give his permission for anyone to marry you it was going to be me.” Ben shrugs it off as if he hasn’t said the most shocking thing you’ve ever heard in your life.

Your father would ask you about Ben occasionally and only when your mother left the room. He always seemed pleased when Ben would come pick you up, one time he gave Ben some money so he could buy tickets when you both went to a carnival, but you had no idea that they had talked about Ben marrying you.

“Hold on. Did you-" You pause for a second. "Did you ask my father if you could marry me?”

“No.” Ben answers quickly.

“Well then did he say why he didn't like Howard?"

“He said he liked how happy I made you. Said that you would always be singing in your room after you saw me.” Ben smiles one of his hands curving around your hip to hold you steady on his lap. “I told him I was sorry he had to hear that. You have many talents y/n, but singing is not one of them.”

“I don’t want to hear it from you. There’s about a million tapes of you trying to sing, not to mention you trying to dance. I wanted to jump out the window when you dragged me to that Solid Gold Music Video shoot.“ You roll your eyes at him.

Ben presses a hand to his chest as if offended. “You don’t like the way I dance? Because I happen to remember a few times that we’ve danced together and you certainly seemed to be having a good time.”

“I’m a good actress.”

“Sure.” Ben snorts. “Then again I think I’m good a few other things too. Things that I wouldn’t mind showing you sometime.” His arm wraps around your waist as he pulls you into his chest, lips catching along the shadow of your jaw.

“You’re awfully sure of yourself I’ll say that.”  You laugh.

"Mhmm." The rumble of his answer seems to vibrate down your spine spreading warmth in its wake.

"Ben." You warn, as his hands begin to play with the bottom of your shirt.

"I know." He whispers raising his eyes again to look at your face with a soft smile, but you can still see a flicker of disappointment behind them.

Deep down you knew that you were getting closer to forgiving him, but it had only been two days, and everything between the two of you was still a little rocky. You wanted things to calm down again before you took that big step with Ben again. You didn't want to rush it, and you could see that Ben didn't want to either.

"How about tonight, we do something a little different." You trace your index finger over his lips, loving the soft curve beneath the pad of your fingertip.

"What do you mean?" He looks confused.

"You'll see." You murmur against his lips as you drop your mouth down to his, losing yourself in him all over again.

A/N: I know it's been a while guys and I know it's crazy to end it on another cliffhanger but... I'm sorry, not sorry? I hope y'all enjoyed this one. I'm sorry it took me a while to get it out, the writer's block is turning into a soul sucking abyss, but honestly, what's new? 😂 Hope that y'all enjoyed this one and I'm excited to hear what y'all think!

As always thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to my taglist for the series let me know:)

(Also if you have asked to be apart of the taglist and you are not being notified- I am trying to fix it, but it's being weird. Please let me know if you haven't received a notification.)

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[pandapetals]

One Of Your Girls

worst wolverine/logan x fem!reader - inspired by a troye sivan song, fluff, cute, happy ending, wade being wade, no y/n used, no reader description

Wade ships you and Logan together and tries to help make y'all a couple.

read on Ao3

You sat on the worn-out sofa in Wade’s living room, half-listening as he rambled on about his latest grueling day of being the “sexiest superhero alive.” He and Wolverine—or Wolvie, as Wade annoyingly liked to call him—had teamed up again, taking down some bad guys and saving the world, or at least a very small part of it.

“So there I am,” Wade continued dramatically, gesturing wildly, “surrounded by ninjas, which isn’t really a surprise because let’s be honest, ninjas are kind of my thing at this point—classic Deadpool. But Wolvie’s just there, growling and stabbing his way through, and I’m like, ‘Dude, we get it, you’re the strong, silent type, but maybe use your words once in a while?’”

He kept talking, something about the “grueling emotional labor” of working with Logan, but you weren’t really paying attention anymore. Your gaze drifted to the hallway, where Logan emerged from the bathroom with a grunt, a small towel barely hanging around his waist. His skin glistened with droplets of water from the shower, the muscles in his back rippling as he stalked down the hall.

You tried to tear your eyes away, but it was like gravity itself was keeping you glued to him. Logan moved with that same effortless intensity, his brow furrowed like he was annoyed at the mere existence of the towel. The heat rose to your face, and you quickly looked down, but not before catching a glimpse of Logan’s rough hand wiping the moisture from his chest.

Wade, of course, noticed because when doesn’t he notice?

“Geesh, I knew you were down bad for Wolvie, but—” Wade started, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he leaned in, lowering his voice like he was about to share some scandalous secret.

Without thinking, you slapped his shoulder to shut him up, your face burning as you tried to compose yourself. Wade, ever the drama queen, let out an exaggerated gasp and clutched his shoulder like you’d just thrown him into the sun.

“Ow! That hurt my feelings,” he said, turning toward an imaginary camera because, of course, he was breaking the fourth wall. “She hit me, folks, and not in the fun, sexy way either.”

You shot him a glare, your lips pressed into a tight line, though you couldn’t help the flicker of amusement tugging at the corners of your mouth.

Wade wasn’t done. He never was.

“You know, it’s always the quiet ones,” he added, stage-whispering as if that would somehow make Logan disappear or teleport out of the apartment in embarrassment. “Can’t say I blame you though. Look at him, all angry and dripping wet—he’s like a feral wolf in an Old Spice commercial. Honestly, if this was the kind of quality content the MCU promised me, I wouldn’t have jumped ship for Deadpool 3: The Comeback —coming soon, by the way.”

Logan, ignoring Wade as per usual, had already stalked off toward his room. He muttered something unintelligible, probably about how Wade was going to get his ass kicked later, but the low rumble of his voice still made something in your stomach twist. He hadn’t even looked at you, but you felt the heat creeping up your neck, spreading to your cheeks.

Wade, of course, was not done with his commentary. “Dude, he didn’t even throw you a glance,” he said, wagging a finger. “I mean, if I walked out of the shower looking like a damn Greek god with claws, I’d at least give a wink. Maybe even a smolder. Oh, wait!” He perked up and leaned forward, his voice dropping to a faux-conspiratorial tone. “What if he’s doing that on purpose? You know, like a power play? He’s got the whole brooding, tortured thing down—girls love that, by the way.”

You slapped him again—lighter this time, but Wade still let out an exaggerated groan.

“Oh, c’mon! The sexual tension in here is thick enough to slice with one of Logan’s claws. You’re telling me if he showered in your apartment, half-naked, and you wouldn’t immediately jump his bones? What are we even doing here, people?”

You groaned, running a hand over your face, trying not to die of embarrassment. “Wade, for the love of God—”

“God has abandoned this apartment long ago,” Wade interrupted, standing up dramatically, his arms wide as if making a declaration. “But don’t worry, I’m here now, and I’m more than willing to give you both some fantastic relationship advice.”

You shook your head, biting back a laugh. "Wade, the last time you gave relationship advice, you told someone to ‘just show up shirtless’ and that would fix all their problems.”

Wade grinned, completely unbothered. “Did it work?”

“They were arrested for public indecency.”

“Semantics!” Wade waved it off, flopping back down beside you. “Now, where was I? Oh, right. Wolvie. You know, he's probably sitting in his room right now, thinking about you. Brooding, shirtless, glaring out the window like some tragic anti-hero from a really dark fanfic.”

Before you could respond, Logan reappeared—this time, fully dressed but still clearly annoyed. “Wade, shut the hell up.”

Wade, undeterred, turned toward you and whispered loudly, “See? I told you he was brooding. He’s totally into you.”

You shot Logan an apologetic look, though you could tell from the tightness around his jaw that he was this close to throwing Wade out a window. Logan didn’t say anything, but his gaze lingered on you just a second too long before he stormed off again, muttering something about “goddamn loudmouths.”

Wade leaned back on the sofa, folding his arms behind his head with a smug grin. “Oh, yeah. He’s in deep. ”

The rest of the day was filled with more of Wade’s sarcastic quips and Logan’s signature gruffness, but beneath the surface, something had shifted. By the time the sun set, Wade had finally left leaving you and Logan alone in the apartment promising to bring back pizza.

Logan was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking worn out, his head hung low as he rubbed the back of his neck. You stood in the doorway, watching him quietly for a moment before stepping closer.

“You alright?” you asked softly.

Logan grunted in response, his usual noncommittal way of saying “I’m fine.” Before he glanced up at you, and something in his expression softened. His shoulders relaxed slightly as you sat down beside him, the silence between you comforting.

“Wade get to you?” you asked with a smirk, nudging him playfully.

Logan scoffed, shaking his head. “That guy never knows when to shut up.”

“Yeah, well, you gotta admit, he’s got a point,” you teased, nudging him again. “You do tend to brood.”

Logan gave you a look, his usual scowl softened by the hint of amusement in his eyes. “I don’t brood.”

“Right. Sure you don’t,” you said, smiling as you sat on the bed beside him. The air between you was lighter now, but that familiar, charged tension still lingered, just under the surface. “So… was Wade right? You were totally into me earlier, weren’t you?”

Logan chuckled under his breath, running a hand through his still-damp hair, his muscles still tense from the fight and the usual Deadpool chaos. “You’re ridiculous.”

“ You are,” you countered, your voice taking on a teasing tone. You leaned in closer, bumping your shoulder against his. “I mean, look at you. Everyone loves you. I swear, every time we go out, every woman in the room is practically lining up just to—”

“Would you stop? You sound like Wade,” Logan grumbled, his voice low but without any real annoyance. He shook his head, but there was a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

You laughed, your eyes sparkling as you nudged him again. “I’m serious, Logan. I’ve seen the way they look at you. Like they’re all just waiting for their turn to fawn over the ‘mysterious bad boy.’ The brooding, the claws, the ‘I’ve been through hell’ vibe—it’s working for you.”

Logan shot you a half-amused, half-exasperated look. “I’m not trying to ‘work’ anything.”

You shrugged, your grin widening. “That’s the problem. You don’t even have to try. You just walk into a room, grumble a bit, maybe glare at someone, and they’re hooked.”

He grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re imagining things.”

“Oh, please. Next time we’re out, I’ll start keeping a tally of all the looks you get,” you teased. “What’s it like being the main character in everyone’s secret fantasy?”

Logan huffed, giving you a side-eye that would’ve scared anyone else, but you just smiled. “Keep it up, and I’ll start sounding like Wade for real.”

You burst into laughter at that, imagining Logan in full Deadpool-style monologue, breaking the fourth wall mid-fight just to complain about your teasing. “I can’t wait for that.”

“Not happening, darlin’,” Logan muttered, but his voice was warm, and the smirk playing on his lips betrayed him.

The playful banter between you felt easy, natural—like this was how it should be. No walls, no tension, just you and Logan, comfortable in the teasing, in the back-and-forth that had become the foundation of your relationship. For someone as tough and guarded as Logan, moments like these were rare, and you cherished them every time. 

As the laughter faded, the mood shifted. You were still sitting close, the air thick with something more. The lightheartedness gave way to a quiet intensity, and suddenly, the space between you felt smaller and more charged.

Your eyes flicked to his, and you found him watching you, his gaze a little softer now, a little more focused. The teasing smile on your lips faltered, but only for a moment. You leaned in slightly, just enough for your shoulder to press against his, your hand brushing against his forearm.

“You know,” you said softly, your voice quieter now, more sincere. “I wasn’t joking earlier. You really do have people falling for you left and right.”

Logan’s jaw tightened slightly, but he didn’t look away. “Doesn’t matter,” he said gruffly, his voice low. “I’m not interested in ‘people.’”

There it was. That honesty, that vulnerability he rarely showed anyone. You’d gotten used to the way Logan opened up in small doses, revealing just enough for you to see through the tough exterior he wore so well. Each time, it made your heart flutter a little more.

You raised an eyebrow, your voice dropping to a whisper. “No?”

Logan shook his head, his eyes never leaving yours. “No.”

For a moment, the room felt completely still, like the world had narrowed down to just the two of you. The weight of what he wasn’t saying hung between you, and you could feel your pulse quicken, the tension between you building by the second.

“Good,” you murmured, leaning in just a little closer, your breath mingling with his. “Because I’m not interested in sharing.”

A low growl rumbled in Logan’s chest, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. His hand moved to your waist, pulling you closer as his other hand cupped your cheek, his rough thumb brushing softly against your skin. “Who said anything about sharing?”

You couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips as you closed the distance between you, your forehead resting against his. The moment stretched on, your heart racing in your chest as you waited for him to make the next move.

Then, finally, Logan closed the gap.

His lips met yours in a slow, deliberate kiss, the kind that sent heat rushing through your entire body. It wasn’t rushed or frantic—it was steady, intense, like Logan was savoring every second. His grip on your waist tightened, pulling you even closer until there was no space left between you. You kissed him back just as deeply, letting yourself get lost in the feel of him—his warmth, his strength, the way his body seemed to mold perfectly against yours.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your lips still hovering just inches from his. Logan rested his forehead against yours, his hand still cradling your cheek as his thumb traced lazy circles on your skin.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” he muttered, his voice rough but affectionate.

You smiled, running your fingers through his hair, feeling the damp strands still clinging to his head. “Yeah, but you like me anyway.”

Logan chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead before pulling back just enough to look at you. “Yeah,” he said softly. “Yeah, I do.”

A Few Days Later…

The teasing between you and Logan hadn’t gone unnoticed by the others. Especially Wade, who had already managed to weave an elaborate tale of unrequited love between the two of you, complete with bad fanfiction-level plot twists.

“So, you guys finally make out?” Wade asked one evening, leaning against the kitchen counter with a smug grin plastered on his face. “Or are you still in the ‘awkward pining’ stage?”

You sighed, giving him a deadpan look. “What do you think, Wade?”

Wade’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Oh my God, it happened, didn’t it? I mean, of course, it did! I knew it! Everyone, Deadpool called it—Logan and his better half finally—”

Logan shot him a look that could kill, his claws extending just slightly. “Wade.”

Deadpool raised his hands in surrender. “Hey, don’t shoot the messenger! Or, in this case, the super-insightful, super-hot guy who predicted your inevitable romance. I’m just here to celebrate. Maybe I should write a poem about it.”

Logan grunted and shook his head, but you could see the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. Wade turned his attention to you, winking like the two of you were in on some grand scheme.

“You’re welcome, by the way. All my meddling totally paid off. You owe me one, well I guess you owe the writer of this fic but I’m totally taking credit.” 

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across your face. “Sure, Wade. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“Sleep? Who needs sleep when you’ve got love to keep you warm?” Wade sighed dramatically, holding a hand to his chest. “Honestly, I should start a matchmaking service. First Logan and you, next the world.”

Logan groaned. “Wade, shut the hell up.”

Wade grinned, unfazed as ever. “Love you too, peanut.”

[goingmerryfics]

Hi I love your fics and I think the ‘sitting on their lap while they’re not paying attention’ is so cute! Could you do that prompt with Enel and Shanks? 👉👈 sfw plz

Sitting in their lap while they’re not paying attention - w/ Enel, & Shanks 

Content: Gender neutral reader, SFW

Notes* Enel has never come to mind when writing these little prompts so this is new! I had to go back and watch a bit of Skypiea to remember what he's like haha. Shank’s gets a little handsy, but nothing dramatic.

Enel

Enel cannot be caught off guard, but he’ll tolerate your mischievous ways if he likes you well enough

So when you casually stroll up to his makeshift throne and plop yourself down, he doesn’t move. Doesn’t say a word at first, or even react too much past smirking behind your gaze.

He’s laid out in a lazy position, so sitting on his lap is a little awkward- but you manage by shifting yourself forward. You can’t see his face at this angle, but maybe that’s a good thing

He’s confident, and this little maneuver is not going to fluster him. He is intrigued, though.

His amusement for the situation is painted all over his face, even if you can’t see that from where you’re sitting

“Ah, sitting in the lap of power itself. I suppose I can't blame you.”

He shifts and sits up as he speaks, careful not to move you off of him

Knowing that he approves your antics now, you can actually release the tension in your shoulders with a sigh and lean back in your spot

One hand reaches around your body to put a hand on your cheek and turn your head to look directly at him

“Were you trying to fluster me? I’m afraid you’ll have to do better than that if you want to see me blush. Still, I appreciate how direct you are. Perhaps I can have you do this more often.”

He sticks to his word on that, too. Whenever he’s sat in his seat for whatever reason, he makes sure to call for you so you can accompany him, especially for meals

You’ve kind of become his little pet in a way

Shanks

Shanks is wasted when you swing over the barstool and place yourself in his lap

It’s so smooth and easy to do, there’s really a multitude of ways you could ‘catch him off guard’, which makes you question how he’s become so feared sometimes

He's so focused on finishing his drink that he doesn't even really notice the added weight

His arm immediately wraps around your middle, both to keep you close and also to keep himself from falling off the stool

He mumbles something in his drunken state, which you can kind of translate into, “What tricks are you up to?”

He doesn’t even waste time before he pulls you in for a kiss, too. He tastes like whiskey and an incoming hangover

His hand goes from your back to your hips with obvious intention, but you stop him where he’s at, knowing he’s heavily under the influence and it would be unwise to let him go too far

“Come on now, where’d that shyness come from?”

He barely gets the words out. He looks like he’s going to pass out

Not a minute later, you and Benn are carrying him to his room on the ship as he snores, limp in both of your arms

You leave him a glass of water and some painkillers at his bedside since he’ll need them in the morning, but you don’t actually see him until the following afternoon

You ask if he’d partied too hard, and he laughs before he pulls you close to him just like he did last night

“I may have been drunk off my ass, but I still remember a certain someone sitting on my lap.”

You really didn’t think that he would’ve remembered that, and he laughs at how red you go so quickly

[syntheticcharmva]

How do you feel about people shipping Howdy and Barnaby?

OH see, now this.

I love one particular thing about this.

LaughingStock has to be the single funniest and best name for a ship i have had the pleasure of seeing with my own two eyes

as for my opinion on the ship itself? I think it can be cute, good art of it, and i absolutely understand what people see in it.

Though my opinion is still pretty much neutral.

I do have one ship i like with the main cast of colorful characters i've seen quite a bit of art for though, but i'll leave that for a future ask.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Idk if you already discussed this but how do you feel about Adrinette being canon when there wasn‘t a reveal yet? Because I think the show just took all the exciting aspects of the love square away by making one side canon and the others strictly platonic.

Sure, they‘re cute and whatnot, but I don‘t think they‘re exactly interesting without the identity shenanigans and stuff? Especially because (to me at least) Adrinette always felt like the weakest side. It‘s a school crush romcom type of love, which is great and all, but like…. You have superheroes in your show?? Hello??? Why not combine the two elements more effectively???The others are either badass superhero couple (I loved the Ladynoir dynamic in the movie for example) or one superhero hangs out with the civilian and they bond. That‘s literally all of fanon Marichat, and I personally think it works with Ladrien too. There‘s different aspects of those relationships that can be explored and create problems that they have to overcome (like the power imbalance with the civilian x hero ships, how do you handle that while dating?)

I wish the writers would use the square more effectively

I'm not against pre-reveal dating, but I agree that Adrienette is the worst side to chose from a story telling perspective because - as you so rightly pointed out - it's arguably the side with the least identity shenanigans and the side that has the least ties to the superhero stuff that's supposed to be the show's main focus. Adrienette is the side you chose if you're focusing on civilian drama which, to be fair, was season five's main focus even though Gabriel had stolen the miraculous and we were all expecting that complication to be the focus of the season five plot.

Instead the focus was "will Marinette ever have the courage to say a kind word to Adrien's face instead of just telling others how much she loves him even though she knows that he explicitly returns her feelings, making this plot kind painful on every level" which was... a choice.... Five seasons and we're still doing this shit? Really?

This may mean that the writer's plan in season six is to continue to focus on civilian drama or it could mean that they didn't think further than season five and we're about to get a lot of awkward writing. Who knows? I have no idea how they're going to handle civilian dating plus secret identities for long since the writers chose the only side of the square where running off to fight akumas isn't a given thing that the couple-in-question knows will happen. My best guess is that the writers will probably just avoid putting Adrienette in the type of situations Adrigami and Lukanette were put in, I guess?

No matter how they handle it, I don't expect major identity shenanigans because the show has never done much with identity shenanigans probably because quality identity shenanigans require you to be able to draw out plots over multiple episodes and then resolve those plots. This show cannot have that kind of plot progression given it's formulaic nature and the "there must always be a secret between Adrien and Marinette" rule, thus the identity shenanigans being so limited.

This means that the side best suited to the show's writing is probably Ladynoir. Still room for the minor identity shenanigans that the show limits itself to, baked-in-yet-low-stakes tension from having to keep the relationship a complete secret, and a much more logical result of the writing in the first four seasons. While Adrien is far from perfect and has issues to rival Marinette's, his crush always felt like the stronger one given that he actually spent time with Ladybug and had a true relationship with her.

Marinette, on the other hand, barely talked to Adrien because the show literally has a rule that she can never successfully confess her crush, so they needed to keep her and Adrien from becoming close to make those continued failed confessions somewhat plausible. Given all that, it's hard for me to buy that Adrien's crush flipped to this girl that he barely knows. Meanwhile Ladybug's crush flipping had a pretty strong setup given that Chat Noir has been her loyal support in her darkest hours.

But that's not what they went with! Instead of having the secret be the low-stakes identities secret, the secret between them is, "Your father was a super villain whose minions killed you on multiple occasions and whose death you were arguably involved with. While were on the topic of your messed up family, you're an artificial being whose creation killed you mother. Oh, and we're also hero partners, which feels like a minor thing compared to all of that, but we might as well mention that, too."

...choice were made folks. Choices were made. This is so not how you write a formula show! You never go this serious!

Since you mentioned the Civilian/hero pairings, let's talk about those both to end on a lighter note and because that's where my personal favorite lies as I am here for identity shenanigans. That's right, folks, I am once again here to sell you on my Ladrien supremacy agenda.

While I have nothing against Marichat, it is not a good fit for canon. It's simply too limiting because Marinette is not a celebrity. There's a reason that of Marinette's canon hangouts with Chat Noir (and almost all Marichat fics) start on her balcony. That's really the only place they can meet up without drawing attention, which should be a major concern for them.

I physically cringed when the show had them go to the movies and on an ice cream date because Chat Noir was being so irresponsible! He cannot be shown to have a close relationship with a civilian, which is the excuse he should have given at the end Elation since that the episode included Gabriel discovering their relationship. The excuse Chat Noir actually gave feels pretty dismissive of his canon relationship with Marinette. She has canonically spent more time talking to Chat Noir then she's spent talking to Adrien and the same actually goes for the amount of time Ladynoir spends talking about non-hero things, so this feels off:

Cat Noir: I’m sorry about what happened, Marinette. You’re right, you have the right to love anyone you want. Even a superhero. But it’s easy for a person to mistake idolization of a superhero for love. So, even if I like this person very much, I could be taking advantage of the situation, and I just can’t do that. It would be wrong.

Evil Illustrator, their heartfelt talk in Glaciator, the movie date in Glaciator 2, and a bunch of other little moments add up to somehow make Marichat the deepest side of the square, which is painfully bad writing given how little screen time this side gets, but it's still what canon gave us. Marinette is not just a fan who only knows him from a distance. They are friends and even occasional teammates. The only reason this pairing doesn't work in canon is because there's nowhere for the relationship to go until a partial or total reveal happens.

Prior to that, it's just these two hanging out on her balcony or maybe going on secret dates around the city. Cute, but not suited to a silly superhero romcom aimed at kids where every story needs to be told in about 20 minutes. It's best left to long form fan content that is allowed to be more about drama and romance than the actual show and also a little more spicy than the actual show because - let's be real here - those rooftop dates would not just be talking. I don't know how you'd write this pairing in a way that's both genuine and well suited to the intended audience. It's simply way more suited to a teen drama than a kid's show.

Ladrien, on the other hand, could work if canon wanted to go there. I don't think it would be a good fit for more than a season*, so Ladynoir is still the better pick for canon's format, but Ladrien could be a nice bit of pre-reveal padding to draw out the reveal and add some fun comedy if the show were allowed to have a reveal.

Because Ladybug and Adrien are both celebrities, you can have them interact in diverse settings without anyone thinking twice. This allows for a good amount of hijinks where Ladybug is trying to protect her boyfriend at public events without revealing their relationship while Adrien is trying to get her to let him run off and transform.

You can also do things like the public seeing them together, thinking they're a couple, and having them both deny it because they aren't, leading to Ladynoir comedy where Ladybug cries because she wishes they were and Chat Noir is like, "Wait, what? You what? ...My Lady, as your loyal partner who is here to support you in all things, I will get you your man even if it kills me!" The thinking-they're-a-couple thing could also be solved via Ladynoir by Ladynoir going public while Adrien remains "single". There's just a lot of potential for the show's style of absurdist humor here.

*Ladrien does eventually fall into the same issues as Marichat where it feels like the reveal needs to happen otherwise you're just repeating the same plots or going too spicy for a kids show via bedroom-based meetups, thus me saying that it's only good for about a season. There's also the problem that Akuma fights and supervillains are endless fodder for Ladynoir issues, but the only issue Ladrien could possibly address is Gabriel and Marichat's got nothing save for maybe Lila? So if you don't want to let a reveal happen, Ladynoir really is the best pick by far. Adrienette can work, but it's way less fun since they have to keep all these secrets while Ladynoir really only has one major secret or, at least, Ladynoir should only have one major secret (the identities). Canon has really dropped the ball on this one.

Now that I've written all this out, maybe the spicy issue is why canon went Adrienette? It's a lot easier to limit their alone time than it is to limit the alone time of any other side. I maintain that you could get away with it in pre-reveal Ladynoir by just ignoring the issue and giving them things to fight any time they try to have a date. You could also end episodes on them starting their date, leaving everything to the imagination but also keeping the setting relatively public (rooftops and the like) unlike the civilian/hero sides whose dates are going to be way more private. I fully understand why a show aimed at 5-to-12-year-olds wouldn't want to go there. That is far more suited to the teen drama Miraculous so desperately wants to be based on the ill-suited plots the writers keep going with.

[eemoo1o-animoo]

10 Grelle-based paraphernalia that I found on eBay, in no particular order but my subjective deeming of relevance or importance

Possibly part one of a series? Perhaps?

If so, then I probably won’t contain it to only eBay, and I’m going off of what comes up for someone who’s based in the UK, so maybe there’s more or less stuff available if you’re in other countries due to shipping limitations, etc.? But eBay at the moment is my main source, and I’m only doing this — work that anyone can do, nothing exceptionally thorough or insightful — because I’m just a little bored, and I know Grelle is the most valued in the fandom and TSOGTR hasn’t been writing itself for the past year and a quarter, so why would it start now?

This is written at 3AM-6AM on 29/8/2024, so if this is found long after this date then there’s a chance my sources have already been bought out or deleted for whatever reason.

1.

Grell Sutcliff Funko Pop 18 Kuroshitsuji Black Butler POP! Vinyl Anime Figure

At the time of writing this, there are no bids for this and so the price remains at £21.99 (item and shipping). The current bid is due to end on ≈1/9/2024. Wait for the last second to bid one pence higher than the asking price and you’re golden.

I actually have one of these, but it was gifted to me, and so I don’t know how much mine was sold for, but seeing as the four Black Butler Funko Pops have been vaulted and are sold for way higher in other places online, I think this is a pretty good deal.

(Fun fact, the person who gifted her to me as well as tracked down other cheap listings for the other three called her Greta. Consistently. So. Greta. Greta Sutcliff.)

As we can see from the item’s pictures, the figure has been taken out of its box, at the very least just to be show-cased or inspected, but it does appear to come with the box. Here is a listing on Amazon (9.99 GBP, excluding shipping) for 10 Funko Pop display sleeves that should match the item’s measurements.

The current conversions for this item’s price (18.99 GBP) are as follow:

25.06 USD

36.91 AUD

33.77 CAD

22.52 Euro

2,103.26 INR

855,31 Turkish Lira

39.92 NZD

3,623.33 Yen

Obviously I’m not including every conversion in here, only the most obvious/prevalent. If your country’s currency isn’t here, then my apologies, and feel free to bring it to my attention (with currency named) so that I may add it to any future episodes to this possible series, or to edit this post back with the conversions of that time.

2.

Black Butler PVC Keychain Grell

The description of this listing says that this is officially licensed and from one reverse image search to find a bunch of listings across several websites for it, I’m inclined to believe that this is actually an official piece of merch and not a fan-made item that is being resold as I had originally thought it to be. (Wow, I’m such a knowledgable Black Butler fan. I know, I know.)

There’s not much to say on this other than the fact that it’s cute and I think a few pence has been shaved off from the original selling price, though I’m not too sure. I imagine it would have easily gone for 8.99 GBP, but again I’m not too sure; it’s 3AM after all and this isn’t a serious project for me.

The current conversions go as followed:

11.87 USD

17.47 AUD

15.99 CAD

10.66 Euro

996.15 INR

405,49 Turkish Lira

18.90 NZD

1,715.62 Yen

3.

Grelle Black Butler manga plushie Anime Soft Toy

It’s not the best price, I admit. If you’re looking for something cheaper then maybe go for the 5" plush, and there’s another listing on AnimeWare, but once tax and shipping get evolved it ends up being more or less the same price, anyway.

I think this is under the same line as Plushlois comes from, and to that I say: if someone buys her, will that come back? Will Grelle’s face be remade by @fancymeatcomputers, as @nullbutler’s Plushlois once had?

Anyway, she’s super cute. Her hair is a bit too saturated, but that’s not much to lament over, and she’s pricey, but is still far less expensive than any available Plushlois listing I could find (£52!! Usually!!).

Here are the current conversions:

39.61 USD

58.30 AUD

53.35 CAD

35.58 Euro

3,323.16 INR

1,351.58 Turkish Lira

63.01 NZD

5,727.47 Yen

4.

Black Butler Kuroshitsuji Grell Undertaker Anime two sided Pillow Case Cover 250

I’d originally listed another pillow for listing number four, which goes for the same price, but decided not to as Grelle is more prominent on this one.

Not much to say about this other than as far as I can tell it’s just the pillowcase and not a case and a pillow, but if you want to add a lil extra something to your Grelle shrine or limit your chances of finding a normie partner by having this as the centrepiece to your 20-something pillow statement on your romantic four-post bed.

Here are the current conversions:

7.91 USD

11.64 AUD

10.65 CAD

7.10 Euro

663.67 INR

269.94 Turkish Lira

12.58 NZD

1,143.54 Yen

5.

Black butler Grell Sutcliffe figure Kuroshitsuji SEGA PVC Scale Anime s01

Another shambolic price, I know. But out of all the non-Funko Pop Grelle figures listed, this is definitely the cheapest.

Out of all of the non-Funko Pop Black Butler figures, it’s far from it. I think the cheapest figures went to Ciel and Sebastian, but with a massive gap between the cheapest Ciel figure versus the cheapest Sebastian figure (there’s a lot of listings for this particular figure, all with free shipping and of similar prices). There’s also a listing that sells Sebastian and Grelle together with free postage, which would value each figure as far less than what this one figure is being sold for.

The current conversions (of 130.22 GBP) go as follows:

172.00 USD

252.73 AUD

231.50 CAD

154.48 Euro

14,430.37 INR

5,874.98 Turkish Lira

273.31 NZD

24,865.90 Yen

6.

Black Butler Grell Sutcliff Cosplay Costume Red Death Men Full Set Outfits New

I’m not much of cosplayer or a cosplay fan, but from the few full cosplays I found that range from £40-50, this seems like a good price.

There’s also a good few listings for Grelle-style shoes? The cheapest of which would be here. And both the shoes and the clothing come in men’s sizes, so it’s a match if you ask me.

The current conversions of the cosplay’s price are:

23.76 USD

34.92 AUD

31.98 CAD

21.34 Euro

1,993.77 INR

811.52 Turkish Lira

37.76 NZD

3,435.09 Yen

7.

Kuroshitsuji Black Butler Madam Red Angelina Dalles Anime Figurine - Play Arts

Look. I know this isn’t a Grelle figure, but I assume that most if not all Grelle fans are also Madame Red fans. And you have to admit that this is a damn good price for a figure of this type. In fact, I’d say this figure is the second cheapest, right behind the aforementioned Ciel figure.

Also the seller has the username “welsh lady”. Surely it’d basically be treason if I didn’t promote it.

The conversions of the item price (6.99 GBP) go as follows:

9.23 USD

13.57 AUD

12.43 CAD

8.29 Euro

774.85 INR

315.29 Turkish Lira

14.68 NZD

1,336.09 Yen

8.

USED Dolk Black Butler Book of Circus Grell Sutcliff Cast Doll 700mm Japan RARE

This is a fucking awful price. It hurts just to imagine buying this. However, it seems like a rare or custom-made doll, in a fancy box, and it was the only listing I could find of it, meaning it’s not a re-sell.

There’s not much to say — as you can see I ranked it pretty low on the relevancy scale, but I don’t know: maybe someone’s into this sort of thing, especially if it comes to Grelle.

The item prices are converted as follows:

2,805.52 USD

4,123.16 AUD

3,776.66 CAD

2,519.24 Euro

235,385.31 INR

95,779.75 Turkish Lira

4,458.47 NZD

405,826.75 Yen

9.

1 x playing card Black Butler Anime Sebastian Michaelis - Jack of Hearts ZT 85

For one playing card, to me this price seems ghastly. There’s also a Sebastian variant for the exact same price, but that’s all I can find in this style. The other listings for Black Butler playing cards aren’t in this style, coming wholly in colour with patterned frames. As far as I can see, on eBay there are only two listings for this type of playing card, and I’ve already linked them both to this post.

The current conversions of the item price (2.49 GBP) are:

3.29 USD

4.83 AUD

4.43 CAD

2.95 Euro

276.04 INR

112,34 Turkish Lira

5.23 NZD

476.23 Yen

10.

Black Butler Ceramic Mug Grell, Sebastian

There’s a more expensive mug with just Grelle on it that I’d contemplated listing here instead. (And, hey! From Germany, too. The TSOGTR imagery just won’t quit.) But this one is cheaper.

Besides, enough scrubbing with some iron wool will get rid of that ugly demon mug (no pun intended) in no time, surely!

The current conversions go as follows:

19.62 USD

28.84 AUD

26.41 CAD

17.62 Euro

1,646.22 INR

669,76 Turkish Lira

31.17 NZD

2,841.32 Yen

[idcallmyselfhuman]

Xiao/Aether 👹⛅ Masterlist 2.0

A compilation of moments between Xiao and Aether through the years. The last revamp I did on the old post got nuked by Tumblr, so I just made a new one.

I tried to be as complete as I can, but there's probably some stuff I still missed. The shipping wiki is great for compiling stuff, but I felt it wasn't very detailed. Soooo here ya go

Lover's Oath (Lone Tower in the West)

Thank you @kristalijah for the reminder!

On Aether's journey through Liyue, he was tasked to inform the Adepti of Rex Lapis' "death". The Wangshu quest is the first time he meets Xiao in the game, and a certain detail didn't catch a lot of people's attention until the soundtrack got released a while later.

"Lover's Oath" is the song that plays in the background the very first time Xiao appears in front of Aether. On one hand, this could very well just be in reference to the place they were in, as the balcony of Wangshu Inn is known to be where lovers spend time together. However, this theme never plays for any other scene again, nor is it the background music for the balcony in general.

The only time this track is used again is during Tuned to the World's Sounds, an event in-game where Xiao and Aether duet this song on the very place they met, with Xiao playing a lyre, and Aether, a zither.

This theme has only every been used when they are together. So, Lover's Oath can be considered "their" theme. I adore this tidbit of information because it fits their future relationship so well, as the game constantly reminds us now of Xiao's promise to Aether.

Battle of Osial

If you're a fan of this ship, I'm sure you already know. This was the moment the fandom went, "wait a minute...", essentially the birth of the ship itself.

This cutscene is just [chef's kiss], its existence makes me so happy. The Aether community in 2020 has never been the same.

Aether's feet were already steadied. Xiao could have let go already, or let him fall as gracefully as Mountain Shaper did to that guard (I would have hated him). There was no reason to hold on. In fact, he had every excuse to release his hold the moment they got to safety because he was the one who kept insisting that contact with mortals, or even being near them was something he absolutely Did Not Want. But he didn't let go. No, even more— he tightened his hold, squeezing Aether's hand and telling him to be careful. HUH?!?!

Looking back on this scene also made me think of Aether's unique ability to purify things he touches, something that still hasn't been explained. I wonder if Xiao was already gravitating towards Aether because of it, finding comfort in his contact without knowing why, just yet.

Lantern Rite 1.3

I'm sure we're all familiar with this scene, right?

The very first time Xiao promised Ae that no matter what, as long as he calls his name, he will be there. I think the game showed how special that promise is really well.

Moonlight Merriment

On the same year, they released Moonlight Merriment. The first time Aether summoned him was here, when Xiangling was looking for a 'customer' with mild tastes. While Xiao told Ae to call for him when there's trouble, it's really cute that he doesn't really mind what sort of 'trouble' it is.

Whether it be actual danger, or a small dilemma that Aether needs help with, he's there. (Though I guess you can see it as anything that is bothering Ae is considered trouble enough, no matter the scale :))

This scene also clarifies that the promise was specifically made to Aether, and no one else, not even Paimon. The fact that they went so far as to have Paimon call for Xiao multiple times only for nothing to happen is... so fucking funny. Aether says his name once and he's already there.

Just... your commitment is really subtle, Xiao. Keep at it.

Baizhu's Story Quest

The second time Aether summons him is during Baizhu's story quest, and I think this part is what really cemented the weight of that promise for me.

Every single time Aether brings up that he can contact our resident yaksha so easily, they're always surprised. The adepti are known for wanting to keep to themselves that even Changsheng thought it would be impossible for them to meet, but here Xiao was, just one word away for one special traveler.

It's an oath that was made with such... devotion? Loyalty?

It would have been a little more distant had it just been for protection, something like "when you're on the brink of death, you may call for me." but it isn't. This was literally a promise that whenever Ae needed him, Xiao will be there, "Anywhere. Anytime."

It's also sweet how Xiao's departing words are always a reminder to call him whenever needed, to the point where Aether has to say "Yeah, we know." If that promise had an expiration, it sure as hell doesn't matter because Xiao keeps renewing it anyway.

Perilous Trail (Interlude)

Unfortunately, there was one time where Xiao failed to get to Aether, but only because he physically wasn’t able to. The only time he couldn’t fulfill his promise was because he was stuck in a different plane of existence. But even then, once he heard that Aether was in trouble, he was persuaded to cross a literal fucking spacerift to get to them.

You absolutely cannot tell me they aren't in love because you would be wrong.

Also Yanfei being perceptive enough to use Aether being in trouble to convince Xiao? Bless. Where else did we see someone pull out the 'Aether' card on Xiao recently...?

god he's so fucking easy and everyone knows

Anyway, this quest also showed how protective Ae is of Xiao, constantly asking how he is or if he was okay, ignoring Xiao's warnings entirely.

He even gets mad when Xiao brings up creating a will.

Just— a lot of things happened in this quest. While I can't add all of them, do yourself a favor and either play this or check it out in the archives. Yanfei knows what's up

Also there's a part where Aether looks over Xiao's sleeping face and wonders to himself if a person who's always wary is capable of dreams.

To finish off the Chasm segment, it ended with a conversation that had Xiao realizing a lot of things he was lost to because of his grief: that there are people who will always care about him, and in his words, "Even the darkest hearts have room for those they cherish.

"Will Xiao be ravaged by the unending war he wages and be plunged into despair? Or... will he meet someone who understands his sacrifice, and can shine a ray of light into his dark world..." —Dainsleif, Collected Miscellany - "Xiao: Conqueror of Demons"

I think... it was important for him to have had this conversation with Aether. Zhongli acknowledges this as well in the most recent Lantern Rite, but the beginning of the changes within Xiao started because of Aether constantly pushing him to see the light.

Bonus! Xiao being a dumbass

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN "...Really..." YOU WERE JUST STANDING THERE?!?!!??!??

Companion Voicelines

Aether: "How do you like it here?", "Want to chat?"

To bring up Aether's ability to purify things again (Dvalin's Tear), it could be related to that. Or, maybe Xiao just gets so in his head about Aether in his presence that his Karmic Debt just gets insta-blocked. Who knows?

Aether: Is there anything you'd like to do?

For the first and second Lantern Rite, Xiao was still adamant on not even stepping foot in Liyue Harbor, declining every invitation to go there because of how much he disliked being near mortals.

Yet in his teapot voicelines, once you reach a high enough friendship with him, Xiao actually takes the initiative to invite Aether to go to the city, if only to understand him better. Xiao explicitly says that his willingness to go to the harbor was for him.

This isn’t the first time Xiao brings up his wish to get to know Aether better. At first, he kept saying that he has no interest in human affairs, but in his voicelines, as the two of them get closer and closer, he says that he would like to know more about Aether.

I also really like Shenhe's voiceline. Aether's effect on Xiao benefited not only him, but the people surrounding Xiao as well. It's shown in the way Xiao's become softer, and more open to being in social gatherings. We see it the most in Lantern Rite 3.4, Waterborne Poetry, and the biggest one that point towards the cause being Aether is Xiao's birthday letter of 2023.

Birthdays

If Moon Carver's reaction is anything to go by, the old Xiao doing this for his birthday was unfathomable. As Xiao allowed himself to open up to the world, the people around him were also able to enjoy their old friend's presence as well.

Dainsleif said that the cost of his duty was perpetual solitude, but it seems that that's no longer true.

Fun little note: The fact that he went to Moon Carver first is funny to me, since Aether and Moon Carver are both voiced by Zach Aguilar.

I was reminded by @comfortingnightmare that Aether was the first person to celebrate Xiao's birthday in a thousand years :>

Which brings me to another topic! Gifts!

Aside from the adorable fact that every character in the game gifts Aether something on their birthday, Xiao gives him a butterfly made from leaves in his voiceline.

From what I've read, butterflies supposedly mean conjugal love, freedom, and vulnerability of life in Chinese culture. I'm really no expert on this so take that with a grain of salt.

There's also the more obvious meaning, which is transformation in one's self. I really don't like tackling this kind of thing because it's very "the curtain was blue", but if we take their relationship in consideration, it fits.

Lucent Crescent

Big thank you to @spiderskull142 because I didn't even know about this.

In this year's TPRGT image, we see that Paimon is holding a red box—Aether's gift for Xiao. I didn't really pay much attention to it at the time since I thought it was just a regular gift box... and also because I was distracted by Xiao pretending to sleep. It's about the closest we can get to Xiao feigning illness to get pampered LMAO

Anyway, I looked it up and apparently those specific boxes are used to keep jewelry. I looked around Liyue to see if any other store used this box for anything else, but the only one that seemed to have it is Mingxing Jewelry, a boutique that specialized in an ornament called "Lucent Crescent".

Note: The closest I could get to a box that was similar-looking were the red stacked boxes outside of random houses. No other store seemed to have them, so I can only assume that's where the box was from.

When you interact with Xingxi, the person who runs the shop, she tells you about the meaning of Lucent Crescents.

Xingxi: Have you ever heard anyone mention our Lucent Crescent ornaments? They are especially popular with young people. We produce a very limited quantity of Lucent Crescent – only ten per month. People say that if you manage to purchase one of them, you are sure to win the heart of your beloved.

As we know, Aether is very mindful with the gifts he gives every year. I don’t think it’s too far-fetched to think he would order something as valuable as this for Xiao.

And speaking of Aether's gifts...

Teyvat Food Notes: Sweet Dream, Adeptus' Temptation, Mint Jelly, Unagi Chazuke, Satisfying Salad

Alongside Xiao's birthday art are articles from the Teyvat Food Notes, where real-life recipes of in-game food are made, and it also has interactions between XiaoAe on his birthday.

Sweet Dream (Almond Tofu)

Note: Both google translate and Papago seem to use Mandrill instead of Xiao, so... just know that’s who it’s talking about.

This is where we learn that Xiao didn’t even make Sweet Dream; this dish was Aether’s thank you gift to him. Xiao’s specialty dish is a gift from Aether. I’m—aGH! ANYWAY.

Sweet Dream also makes an appearance in Childe’s birthday art in 2022. And— I’m really sorry to Tartaglia, but seeing that dish stole all his thunder I just couldn’t get over it.

I like to think that Aether was so preoccupied with making Childe his birthday feast that he began to absentmindedly prepare Almond Tofu in the way he’s most used to (because of how often Xiao requests it.)

Additional:

Adeptus Temptation

This one in particular isn’t from one of his birthdays, but a special they put out for the first Lantern Rite, which includes every released Liyue character at the time. I was initially going to write it off, but I thought hey what the hell, what are the odds that there’s gonna be a XiaoAether moment in here?

Of course there was. With these two, I should have known.

Note: “Fairy/Buddha Jump over the Wall” is apparently an actual Chinese delicacy that the Adeptus’ Temptation is based on!

A little more additional context, I added the part where Zhongli was going full English teacher at the beginning because everyone was spouting poetry so passionately with every bite of the dish. That’s why Aether wonders, “Do all Liyue people eat like this?”

That’s also why Aether asked Xiao to give him an evaluation of the food, hoping he’d be the same as the others. I found it really cute, especially right now as we just finished Waterborne Poetry.

From the very beginning, Aether caught a glimpse of Xiao’s affinity to being poetic (Isolation does that to ya, who knew?), which is why in the event, he encourages him to write poems. With enough encouragement, along with Xiao pondering over Aether’s words and advice, he eventually does write a poem.

Frost-Coated Slime (Mint Jelly)

For this Teyvat Food Note (2021), Aether laments that he doesn’t really know Xiao very well when he realized that the only gift he can think of giving him is almond tofu.

“Although it is not impossible to continue to treat [Xiao] to eat almond tofu, there is a stubbornness in my heart that has been preventing me from continuing to serve almond tofu.

I don’t want to be the same as usual, I don’t want to give [Xiao] the same gift as everyone else.”

Aether realizes that almond tofu has become somewhat basic, since everyone else gives the same thing, and it’s no longer a gift he considers to be special enough. He then remembers the mint jelly he once tasted in Mondstadt, and thought it was similar enough to the texture and taste of almond tofu. He decides that that’s what he wants to give him.

Once he meets with Xiao, Xiao gives him the ‘butterflies’ he caught (I assume this actually refers to the crystalflies he gives along with the letter?) Aether thinks wearing [crystalflies] on his head doesn’t suit him, but Xiao seems to expect him to wear it judging by his silence. This also fits his letter that year, where he admits he was actively looking for crystalflies for Aether to put on his hair, thinking it would look nice on him.

The last part of the food note is so heartwarming. After Aether has him help prepare the mint jelly, they finally settle down to eat it.

Xiao: It doesn’t look like I want to eat it. I’d better order almond tofu.

[Aether] grabs Xiao and explained that it actually tasted very good, and the texture should be similar to almond tofu.

Aether: The most important thing is that for Xiao’s birthday, I want to make something different as a gift...

Xiao stopped.

Xiao: I don’t worry about the taste of the food you cook. I just want to collect it.

They are so cute?!?!?!?!

Later on, Xiao confesses that he doesn’t like almond tofu just because he likes the taste, but because of the memories that accompany it.

Aether then looks at Xiao, but Xiao doesn’t look at him. Instead, he says “The jelly I made today is a special memory. Thank you.”

Unagi Chazuke

Thank you @dragon-type-nuggetz for sending this one because this is what reminded me that the other teyvat food notes existed aside from almond tofu and adeptus temptation lol

Last one for the Teyvat Food Notes! There’s none for 2023, because they seem to have discontinued it entirely after 2022. This one’s a lot shorter than the other ones, but no less sweet.

Aether knows that with Xiao’s dedication to Liyue, he works non-stop to defend the nation and has never experienced anything as leisurely as going on a vacation for the sake of relaxing. So instead, Aether tells him stories of his travels, and he decides to cook a dish that gives the feeling of traveling with him.

Xiao also says something here that I found really funny.

“Let me start by saying that I have no interest in human food. Even if the food you make doesn’t taste good, I won’t eat it.” CAP. You’ve gone this long eating Aether’s food, who the hell are you trying to fool?

In the end, Xiao finishes the entire bowl to Aether’s shock, but he says he’s sorry as he can’t think of any words to praise the food.

Aether then says that the fact that Xiao finished it at all is the greatest compliment.

Satisfying Salad

This isn’t connected to the food notes this time, but just the dish in general. Satisfying Salad and Almond Tofu are the first dishes that Aether has ever given Xiao in-game to convince him to talk to them. I thought it was a pretty minor thing and didn’t think much of it at the time, up until Smiley Yanxiao brings it up again in Moonlight Merriment.

Everyone around Xiao thought that almond tofu really was the only thing he can eat, only for Aether to prove otherwise. While he claims that he has no interest in human food, and the only thing he can possibly stomach is almond tofu, he has never denied anything that Aether offers him, even when the two of them didn’t even know each other very well yet.

So, for all of Xiao’s talk, he has shown in his actions pretty clearly that Aether is and has always been an exception for him. Whether that be for food, or anything else...

Lantern Rite 3.4

I am here to remind you all of a beautiful scene that should never be forgotten for years to come.

Regardless of Genshin trying to be mysterious and making us guess who saved Aether, the fact that they both came rushing over is incredible on its own. They know that Aether isn't a damsel in distress, and Paimon's acting was so on the nose, but they still couldn't allow even the slightest possibility of harm to come to him.

Xiao looking away and talking in circles just to say he really was worried is the funniest fucking thing.

As for the Lantern Rite dinner... well, first things first. We say thank you to Hu Tao for her services as a professional wing-woman (It's her side-job to advertise the parlor)

Moving on! Remember when Aether told Xiao he'll bail him out of uncomfortable social situations? (Companion voicelines)

There really isn't much I could say that I haven't already said before. For XiaoAether shippers, this was Hoyo spoon-feeding content on a silver spoon. It's Aether and Xiao at their most comfortable with each other, talking and spending time with the people they care about.

It's years of talking to each other, of Xiao realizing that he's at ease when he's speaking to Aether, of learning to talk more about himself to the point where he starts talking about his past and the people in it...

It'll be awhile until Xiao will ever be comfortable with large crowds, but as long as Aether's there who knows when it's becoming 'too much', he'll be fine.

Aether is also, in Xiao's eyes, the most distinguished guest among them all.

I couldn't add it but Xiao also says "I trust Aether's judgement." in this scene.

This Lantern Rite is also where Zhongli acknowledges what Aether has done for Xiao :")

(Suspiciously on the last screenshot, the perspective makes Zhongli look like a pastor wedding the two of them)

Waterborne Poetry

The catalyst for this post. The reminder of how lovely this ship is, and how far these two have come.

As we have all learned from Xiangling, Yanfei, Venti and Hu Tao, you only need to mention Aether's name to convince Xiao of whatever it is you're planning. The part where Aether and Team Chongyun were trying to convince him to come with them and touch some fucking grass was really cute.

This event and the previous Lantern Rite also had Aether and Xiao talking privately, only to get interrupted by Paimon/Xiangling (as well as calling them out lmao)

And, of course, the scene that everyone freaked out over,

A short, but sweet moment where Aether looks at Xiao from afar and immediately gets inspired, performing a poem where the real meaning is shared only between the two of them...

And Xiao's smile.

An expression that Aether had done so well to bring out.

Xiao in a Commission

One last thing! Xiao appears in the Liyue Commission "Uninvited Guests". It's very short, but cute

Xiao: Oh, it’s you.

Aether: What brings you here?

Xiao: I encountered these monsters by chance and defeated them.

Xiao: This area is not safe. So...

Aether: I’ll be careful.

Xiao: Right. I have other matters to attend to. See you.

-

...There are still things I couldn't add, but that's okay. I got mostly everything this time so I'm satisfied. Very grateful to the people who reblogged the old post to add more stuff :))

Some things I didn't add were trivia from the shipping wiki. For one, apparently Xiao's JP voice actor was told by the director to be gentler when speaking to the Traveler. There's also a small part of the Lantern Rite animation where as Xiao and Aether watch the lanterns side by side, Xiao turns to look at Aether right as Paimon blocks his head from view :")

[anthurak]

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

Salty Ask game

For ruining a pairing, I could honestly put many if not most hetero ships in RWBY in this category thanks to fandom bullshit, in particular ANY girl/Jaune ship outside of Arkos, and even that’s shaky for me (I have a special loathing for the Jaune/Harem crowd). Though one case I find particularly unfortunate is Ruby/Oscar, a ship that when if first started cropping up in Volume 4, I thought was kind of cute. But by now it’s gotten tied up in theories and headcanons and people clamoring about how it’s going to happen in-show, all while apparently missing some KEY aspects of Oscar’s character. Namely the fact that Oscar, much like Jaune, is a massive SUBVERSION of a main-character archetype, and not an actual main character.

Which means that it feels like every Ruby/Oscar take I see, at best sounds like it’s treating Oscar as some deuteragonist to Ruby at the expense of Penny or even Ruby’s own teammates, and at WORST sounds like it believes Oscar to somehow be the ‘real main character’ of the show.

I think Ruby and Oscar have a very interesting dynamic in the show itself, like how Ruby acts as a mentor to Oscar in the way that Ozpin failed to do for her. Unfortunately, it feels like much of the shipping for these two has completely missed the memo on any of it.

As for a fandom OTP that I just do NOT get, that’s actually rather difficult. As even for the ships I don’t like, I can generally still trace the ‘logic’ of it to the ‘source’ of the appeal for some people. Even if that source is something as simple as "I think it would be hot if these two fucked" or something as banal as “I want to fantasize about having sex with this pretty girl(s) and am too lazy to come up with my own OC to project onto, so I’ll just project onto this character I find ‘relatable’ and awkwardly crowbar into a generic self-insert mold” -gestures to the vast majority of Jaune/girl ships-

That being said, I have always been rather baffled that the Steven Universe fandom effectively mandala-effected itself into believing that Lapidot was ever anything more than a crackship that the creators threw in because they seemingly somehow ran out of ideas of what to do with Lapis.

[piracytheorist]

Episode 33 reaction!

*incoherent screaming*

WHY DID THEY MAKE THIS CUTE. WHY DOES IT WORK. I LOVE IT.

Yor talks about how they'll just put them in that inflatable boat and then go to the other ship, but would that really work with the amount of assassins on board? All they'd need to do would be fire with a sniper while the trio were boarding.

Anyway. Caught by the smell, after all. And indeed Yor doesn't seem to have a scent that super-smeller Turtleneck Guy can pick up. Interesting!

I love how Anya didn't even have to negotiate this. She wasn't even direct about it.

Also, it looks like Anya got a little more comfortable hearing a myriad of passionate thoughts around her? Like, remember episode three, where she passed out from the amount of thoughts around her. Here she didn't seem bothered at all and thought she could "look around" for Yor's thoughts. Is that a sign that she's getting stronger and gaining more control of her power?

I love how Yor saw the two guys standing by the hallway and went like "These are probably assassins" and they were indeed assassins.

Okay. This spread is hilarious, with all the different expressions side by side, and I'm glad I had the manga in a physical copy and could see it in all its glory XD

It was so sweet, how Olka tried to calm down Gram 🥺 the voice actress did such a great work there!

They actually fit three full chapters and one short chapter in one episode, and it still didn't feel rushed, what the hell! Like they took their time showing everything. This is amazing.

I love how Gram got excited over jumping around in Yor's arms XD

The sniper got an order to kill the baby too, if possible! The fuck!

Setting a fight between assassins - which includes a lot of shooting - amidst a firework show is brilliant. The plain guests had no idea what was happening just a few meters away from them.

AND YOR GOT HURT!

The difference between their reactions at the other dodging was hilarious. The sniper went like "She dodged that???!?!" and Yor was like "Aw shucks, he dodged it."

Then. Yor. Fucking. DESTROYED. A DAGGER WITH HER BARE FINGERNAILS. What the actual fuck! (I accidentally typo-ed "bear fingernails" there but was it actually incorrect? This woman is a beast!)

And Gram is still having fun! Fireworks? Time to cry. People trying to kill them? Laughing his heart out :D

My god! The assassins coming out, and Yor doing her tricks with her stilettos before preparing her stance? The animators really understand the assignment!

Some good quick action there, McMahon coming to their help and I THINK I MIGHT HAVE SCREAMED WHEN ZEB GOT HIT.

Like they were actually falling and I was like. Please tell me he wore a bulletproof vest. Please tell me he won't die. PLEASE DON'T DIE ;_;

So yeah. I was so relieved to see he had a vest. And it's also funny that they took a humorous tone with that. A bit of an emotional whiplash was expected there XD

There's so much good animation there I can't even begin to comment on it. I'll have to gif a lot tomorrow :D Probably :D

Anyway. THEY MESSED WITH THE WRONG BITCH

Glorious.

McMahon cleaning up! Both preparing to fuck shit up!

I love how Yor apologized for using a guy's dead body as a shield from bullets. Kindness over all!

And then Loid wondering why Anya is still so excited after a long show of fireworks. He would lose his mind as a modern parent whose child could listen to Baby Shark a million times in a row.

A literal bloodshow ensues! Yor killing guy after guy and McMahon cleaning up after her!

Meanwhile, Anya and Loid enjoy the fireworks, and the office dudes win a fortune. Wins all around!

Though shit! The mace guy broke one of Yor's stilettos! Sacrilege!

They didn't pull back. With the soft song accompanying the action, we then get a hilarious (!!) montage of Yor taking out the assassins one by one and HOW DO THEY DO THAT. How is the humor in this show so effective I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Like, Endo's writing is funny in and of itself, but then the anime manages to pick up from that and use make it over the top! I love it.

Turtleneck guy thinks he's in the position to judge Yor??? Shut up my dude.

So McMahon is a pretty traditional dude, huh. Interesting. And did Turtleneck Guy really go like, "No, YOU will be eaten by sharks!" Like was that the best you could do XD

But then! Things get deeply serious! McMahon isn't dead, is he? O_O (don't answer)

Oh my god there's so much more I can barely comment! The katana guy being over the top! Yor worrying over breaking Loid and Anya's hearts! BECAUSE SHE'LL DIE. The haircut moment XD

But then Yor had her moment of wondering and then got her ass kicked and shit.

It is not clear in the anime, but it looks like in the manga Yor ripped the earring off her earlobe to stop Turtleneck Guy from moving on.

It's kind of tragic, how the Briar siblings ended up. Yor got into a dangerous, soul-eating job to protect Yuri's carefree life, and Yuri, seeing the sacrifices she made for him, did the same for her. They're so desperate to protect each other from the evils of the world, because they're all they have...

But now she's got even more of a motive...

So what if I cry? What if I dissolve into a puddle of tears and feels? So what? T_T

WHAT IF I LOSE MY MIND. BECAUSE HE DOES UNDERSTAND. IT'S THE VERY SAME THING HE DOES.

One last moment of logic that yes, she did rip her earlobe.

And now I continue screaming. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[fruitgummies01]

I HATE COMING ON HERE TO RANT BUT......

*Sigh* I had every intention of coming on here and only raving about the Are You Sure?! Photobook I finally got in the mail last week. It's beautiful, the pictures look incredible, I love the feel of the actual pages of the book, I adore all of the additional stickers and extra pictures that you get outside of the photobook itself, all of the behind the scenes footage… I just truly love the quality and the care at which it was all put together. It really is incredible!! It was absolutely worth the money, but since coming back on here, now I'm feeling like I need to rant about something else.

I've said it before on one of my other posts but the hate on youtube towards anything having to do with Jimin and Jungkook's friendship is just so bad (as well as all the hate directed towards Jimin but that's for another time). Reactors (those that genuinely care for the boys and aren't just doing it to grow their channel so they start reacting to different content all together) who dare to react to Jikook's bond are being bombarded with lies, hate, and threats. I'm not going to name channels here, but I also personally think it's messed up for reactors (yes, multiple channels at this point) to openly admit that they will be deleting jikook content from their channel, while leaving up all the other ship/not ship content of all the other members. This happens frequently in the fandom. Fans and non fans aren't "allowed" to mention jikook so they go ignored despite all of their cute content together, reactors don't react to them, and if they do they get massively spammed with hate until they just stop reacting to them, but will continue reacting to other dynamics within BTS. And due to the lack of content, some new fans who are discovering the group don't even know about their friendship because everyone is afraid to talk about it (and it becomes easier unfortunately to be swept up in lies, false stories, and fan manipulation). The cycle just repeats and repeats and repeats.

But what is the end goal, because Jimin and Jungkook will be discharged from the military together, will continue to be in BTS together, in each other's lives, and continue to travel and do things together, so what is the point? People may get reactors to pretend like the bond between Jimin and JK doesn't exist, but no matter how much these awful people try, it's definitely NOT going to effect Jikook's relationship in real life, soooo?? All of this negative discourse will not affect any Jikook interactions in the future when BTS reunites. Hell just the other day Jimin and Jungkook were on weverse replying to each other (even though they were probably next to each other lol) being excited for Hobi's discharge, while their haters screamed about Jimin wanting attention. Jimin and JK are going to do what they want to do, like they've always done, and yelling at random people on the internet to get them to delete their content won't change that 😭.

Anyway to circle back to the beginning, I was looking through the AYS?! Photobook, and it made me so sad that a friendship and bond like the one Jimin and JK have is surrounded by so much online negativity and fans can't really talk about it freely like the other friendships in BTS, but it really just makes me realize how much more special Are You Sure?! is. They probably knew what the reaction would be from certain fans, and still did it anyway because it made them happy to do it and to be together. It's a beautiful photobook, filled with so many of their memories from the show (I wonder what happened to all the photos they took on their disposable camera haha), and I am again so thankful that Are You Sure?! exists as it does. A place where fans can see their relationship in a new and unique way outside of the group dynamic, and it allows people to see for themselves what an amazing bond they have. I also really wanted to say thank you to all the people who are fighting for them in these toxic spaces, it can't be easy, but the support you guys continue to show is probably why their are a few accounts out there still celebrating them and their moments. And I appreciate your content. 🥺❤️

[stardustbuck]

Honestly -

Most of these ‘fans’ do not like Buck for Buck. They have created a version of him in canon and anything he does that doesn’t fit it it’s OOC for them, even if it is exactly how he’d act (case in point: The BT scene on 710). They, somehow, cannot accept Buck has changed and matured and is not the same guy he was during S2/S3. Hell, he’s grown alone during S7 alone. Discovering a part of himself has done wonders for him.

Likewise, I truly believe the only representation they care about or want is if it comes in the form of Buddie. They cry on how Henren is being ignored and how it is BuckTommy’s fault, but when have they ever shown care or interest for them beforehand? They use them as part of their argument without giving them proper attention. They don’t care we now have great mlm representation on screen in a show like 911, they’re just mad because it is not Buddie.

And I do suspect they became this mad this fast because they do see the potential of BT and they know this can very well be a LTR for Buck. Ofc we don’t know what will happen, but if we look at it from a neutral POV, we all can see the seeds being planted for Tommy to be there for a while. They’ve made creative choices with him that they haven’t made with no other LI that really sells it for me, to be honest.

(Including giving them a particular sound for everytime they have a moment, but I digress)

I do agree with you - I care about Buck being happy. I was quick to get on board with BT because I have never seen Buck act so giddy and into someone. And so far, I think Tommy is matching him really well. We’ll see what happens in Season 8, but I would be surprised if they break up during it, even more so if it is ep 3/4, which arguably will be right after the start of the season (assuming they go for a multi eps opener)

If I'm being honest, the toxic side of that part of the fandom feels very reminiscent of certain subset of another fandom I'm apart of that I do not want to delve into because I've already done so many times.

get ready for a long response

I came into the 911 fandom as bvddie shipper, I still love the ship itself, idc if it ever goes canon because fanfic exists, edits exist, fanart exists. I love eddie and buck as separate characters respectively and I do not need them to be together enjoy their relationship whether it's platonic or romantic.

I think a lot of the loud, toxic shippers cannot separate them. Listen I think the co-parent jokes are hilarious and cute, but when it comes down to it in reality of the show, buck is not chris' parent. he's like an uncle, so many ppl grow up with their parents friends as their "aunts and uncles" and that's exactly how I'm viewing chris and bucks relationship ever since I've come down from the bvddie high of analyzing everything and putting meaning behind every little piece of dialogue or set design or just like anything. I can acknowledge 911 is not a blockbuster franchise that has months or years of thought put into meaning behind set design or clothing choices like other fandoms I'm apart of that absolutely have so much thought and time put into them for things like that.

bvddie in itself is a great concept. absolutely you can read into scenes as being romantic even if they never were intended that way, that's what we do as fans. I completely understand why ppl see them as endgame because they're absolutely allowed to think that. but us bucktommy shippers are allowed to also talk about why we think bucktommy is endgame. I think that's another issue ppl are having is being able to curate their own feed, if you don't want to see people talk about one of these topics then block accs, block tags, keep your peace!

buck and tommy absolutely feel as though they have been written to last from what I've seen so far so tommy leaving so quickly would feel weird and like a punch in the gut to the journey buck as made. he made the effort to be with tommy even after everything went south. tommy made the effort to show up for buck. we are shown them being on very good terms by the season finale, like, we are probably intimate with one another and are in our cute honeymoon phase type of good terms. having them break up so early would be another Ali/Natalia moment and like, I just am tired of the same story being repeated for buck.

If they really were going for bvddie endgame, I think it would have been done this season. tommy wouldn't have been brought in at all or wouldn't have been involved in the plot outside helping rescue bobby and athena. they didn't need kim there, they could have built on eddies catholic guilt for his queer arc, they could have written what people were theorizing with the bachelor party where buck and eddie ended up kissing while drunk which could have spurred their relationship to begin and still have eddie go through a crisis and found a way to have chris still leave for texas (if they wanted to stick with a cheating arc, it could have been marisol & chris walking in on buck and eddie kissing) like there's so many things people theorized that genuinely would have been great ways to have bvddie be endgame but literally none of those things happened and instead we got buck in a stable, happy relationship with tommy that has been set up in a way that absolutely can have them going through all sorts of things from strengthening their relationship to testing their relationship. tommy can absolutely be integrated into the plot as much as karen is if not more. all I can say is why throw away such potential when you already had the other potential there?

also as an eddie diaz defender, they can never make me hate eddie diaz, I just want to see him not feel this constant need to find a new mom/wife when he's never had time for himself EVER. he needs therapy, he needs to build back trust with christopher, he needs to stop searching for this perfect woman because if there's someone out there for him they will find him eventually. I really want eddie to focus on chris and himself and stop worrying so much about what his life should look like per his family/what society thinks his life should look like.

I truly cannot stress enough how much eddie needs to fix himself and his and chris' relationship before jumping into another romance, whether it be buck or anyone else.

on the other hand, buck deserves to be loved ANYWAYS. tommy is already showing potential to just love buck anyways despite anything that happens, that he'll do anything for him, that he can be his rock. gerrard can definitely be smh to shake them up, no couple in this show is safe from anything no matter how in love and happy they are. it's time for buck to have his madney, bathena, henren moments with his own love interest. buck deserves to be happy with tommy, to go through the hard times with him, for someone to love him no matter what and that absolutely does not take away from how important buck and eddie's friendship is. people cannot seem to grasp that unfortunately and it's sad.

in other words, im so tired of people acting like they are superior over ships. I truly am.

[intheticklecloset]

So we know dazai tickles chuuya all the time, right? Right. And vice versa. I’m curious to know your thoughts on the reactions of some of the PM and/or ADA the first time they witnessed it (cause dazai at least doesn’t seem the type to care if there’s an audience)

like all I can think about is the ADA thinking about scary port mafia executive chuuya nakahara, strongest ability user in Yokohama and how intimidating he is and meanwhile dazai is just like he’s not scary watch this. (The PM is used to this shit by now, they’ve had years to get desensitized to soukoku)

The Armed Detective Agency members' reactions to Dazai tickling Chuuya ^^

AKA I got majorly inspired and ran with this idea and I may or may not have a fic in mind for it too 😍

~~~

Atsushi

Kind of surprised but not really – he has his own tough mafia boyfriend who is susceptible to tickles, after all. Still thinks it’s cute and amusing to watch, though feels a little bad for Chuuya because he knows how ruthless Dazai can be.

Kunikida

Absolutely floored and mildly flustered – it’s one thing to hear about it, a whole other to actually watch Dazai tickle their mafia rival into submission. He’s telling Dazai to knock it off after a few seconds of Chuuya cackling helplessly.

Ranpo

Not at all surprised, could have told you Chuuya was ticklish after their first meeting, of course. Still finds it amusing and will happily sit back and enjoy the show with snacks.

Kyouka

Had heard rumors in the Port Mafia that Dazai and Chuuya got into tickle fights sometimes, so isn’t surprised to see it actually happening. Is surprised just HOW ticklish Chuuya is.

Tanizaki siblings

Absolutely shocked, can’t seem to tear their eyes away from the scene. Naomi becomes inspired and tries to convince Junichiro to play like that with her sometime, which he adamantly refuses to do.

Yosano

Surprised but finds it hilarious, is cheering Dazai on for the sake of watching Chuuya beg for mercy. Her sadistic tendencies really come forth when witnessing this spectacle.

Kenji

Not surprised, thinks it’s awesome, wants to join in on the fun. Even takes a second to cheer Chuuya up afterward.

Fukuzawa

More surprised that Chuuya doesn't immediately kill Dazai for tickling him than by the tickling itself. Honestly kind of ships it, so he doesn't intervene.

~~~

Honorary Members' Reactions~

Poe

The most shocked of them all, also the most flustered. Keeps darting glances at Ranpo for his reaction. Especially flustered if a feather happens to be involved.

Sigma

Surprised, but that’s pretty much it. Has no strong feelings toward any of the ADA yet except Dazai, and he’s not shocked to see Dazai tickling anyone – he’s used to that. He does think it’s kind of cute to watch, though – mostly because Dazai's love for Chuuya really shines through while he's tickling him.

[ladyloveandjustice]

I can't overemphasize the atmosphere of 2005-2007. I was on the internet. The reaction to Katara saying she was confused or not immediately responding to Aang's kiss was that she was a cocktease. Most fans were saying that, using that exact word, and I basically fervently defended her by saying "there is literally a war going on she said this! give her some time to think about it don't call her that". It did not even occur to anyone to point out that Aang was in the wrong for kissing her out of nowhere, or even his second time, which was pointed out in the text itself as being wrong (with the DVD commentary agreeing iirc),

I was desperate to defend her and even I couldn't articulate that! It did not occur to me, just because sudden kisses (and frankly sa) were the norm in fiction. But now if I randomly go on Reddit they'll talk about it being wrong in a unrelated thread. There are way more conversations about consent. The culture (or at least a portion the internet culture) has shifted in a positive way.

The ridiculous level of misogynistic hate on Mai for daring to be in love with Zuko also bears mentioning, and I think some of that persists. IIRC Dante Basco even happily read some letter calling her fat (???). It is why I still have a bit of shivery gut reaction to Zu tara though intellectually I don't mind it (my only opinions on ships in Avatar are I prefer everyone's friendships and Sokka and Suki are cute, this has only gotten stronger with age) and I think a lot of shippers aren't like that anymore (and Bryke's behavior towards those shippers was unacceptable) but back in the day the main thing I associated with them was calling Mai every insult they could think of.