#the tags are also a poem it's a concept poem okay

[amoxicillin-tangent]

what i said:

good morning, beautiful. did you know that vultures lay their eggs at the edges of cliffs?

what i meant:

every year i fight the urge to reinvent myself, to shed my skin and take a new name. i’ve got a manic flight hidden in my bones somewhere, down to the marrow. i’m scared of needles. i wanna get better but i don’t know how. i’m glad i didn’t know that the last time i saw you was the last time; it was better that i didn’t spend it dreading your absence the way i spent two hours trying to figure out why vultures lay their eggs at the edges of cliffs. 

what i said: 

some things just don’t have an answer, beautiful. vultures were associated with catharsis long before they ever were with death.

what i meant:

some things just don’t have an answer. i never believed in love at first sight until i saw you. the birds are singing and it makes me smile and it makes me sick. 

what i said: 

i’m falling for you, beautiful. did you know that a group of larks is called an exaltation?

what i meant:

i only loved you long enough to set my soul in flight and watch you become my ceiling. i didn’t want what we had to be short but meaningful. i just wanted it to be meaningful.

what i said:

i’ll miss you, beautiful. did you know mourning doves are related to carrier pigeons? did you know they used to send them overseas to sing funeral songs?

what i meant:

maybe there’s another world where i wake you up every day with bird facts but i don’t think it’s this one. 

what i said:

goodbye, beautiful. did you know that nightingales die faster the more they sing?

what i meant:

i would’ve sang myself to death, for you.

[gnc-tits]

i genuinely have such an issue w how the general internet approaches trigger warnings like on all sides it just fuckin sucks. either theyre completely unnecessary and if u need one ur a baby or u need to tag every possible trigger theres like no in between. and the meaning of what a trigger actually is gets watered in the process like i know this is kind of 2018 to bitch about but i am irritated!!!!!!!!

[russellsppttemplates]

Love notes (Charles Leclerc)

A look into Charles' notebook allows words and feelings to be exposed

Note: english is not my first language. The request didn't specify this, but friends to lovers was the first thing that popped into my mind and I know I'm not the only one whose favourite trope is that one so I did it ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Cw: mentions Charles' father and his passing and implications of the loss of someone close to the reader

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3

"And you want me to tell you that code?", you asked Charles over the phone.

Your boyfriend needed to go to the bank to sort a few errands out, and since you had finished moving the last boxes of your belongings to his apartment, you stayed back to tidy them and organise them within the apartment. As it turns out, he forgot to take the documents with the codes.

"Yes, please amour - it's in my notebook on my desk on the office", Charles asked, "I think I went as far as taking the paper out a little so it peeks out but I forgot to take it with me", you could hear the smile and blush on his face.

"Let me go there - don't you mind me looking on your notebook though?", you said as you moved through the apartment, "by the way, I have already found some space in the kitchen for mug collection - yay! Okay, found the notebook - is it the document with your signature or the one that has the details?", you questioned.

"The one with the signature, at the end, left side", Charles repeated what the bank assistant was telling him so he could help you find what he wanted, "and it's the third and fifth number on the Mobile Key".

"Okay, I have it - it's 4 and 1", you informed him, "those are the third and fifth numbers".

"Merci amour, I don't think I need anything else! Once I finish up here, I'll head home to you, I love you! And Y/N, I trust you with everything I have - I have nothing to hide", he offered, making you bid him goodbye before ending the call.

His words ressonated with you as you flickered through the pages, noticing some doddles and racing notes before you decided to look at it from the beggining.

The first page had what looked like a poem and it dated back to the end of 2016.

My father told me to be careful

- Try to slow down a little

You don't ponder nor stay still

You don't belong or give yourself to anywhere

He said - my boy, you know what you're capable of

The world awaits you, go ahead and smile

You don't want to be left behind

It's not been easy dealing with everything. There's hope and there's the want to do more to prove everyone that I belong in Formula One. Still, I'm happy that Prema decided to have me race for them next year in Formula Two and things should go up from there. Time and patience, work and rest. Spending time with the people I love most and care about me the most.

Y/N also progressed on her studies and she's doing really well - she makes our friend group very proud! The guys are investing on their careers too and it's nice to see that, in a way, we're all growing up.

The page went on about all the whereabouts of the group, who had gotten together with someone, who had moved out of their parents' house and the ones who got work offers. There were jotted up plans for the summer holidays that, in hindsight, were mostly realized.

When you turned it to the next one, the poem continued with the same tone.

My mother said to me

- You have to see what's happening

That girl is much more than a friend

And you don't want to lose her

She reads it in my eyes

Or in my open soul

I don't know how she does it

But no matter how much I deny it

My mother is always right

I really like Y/N. Not just as a friend, but also as someone who I want to share my life with.

Whenever someone wonders how I think my life will be like in five, ten, fifteen years, she's always there. There's racing - me climbing up the ladder to points, podiums, wins and championships -, and there is my family.

Y/N and our own family.

Mum claims she noticed it since we were kids and that right now is the right time. Y/N is single again and I can't afford to lose her. Lose her as a friend or lose the opportunity to confess my feelings, or the worst one: lose her because she doesn't feel the same or feel like being in a relationship right now?

It's funny how this works, how much I care about her and how it hurts me when she isn't feeling well. Or how bad I feel because I keep missing some of her university milestones because I'm racing somewhere in the world but she always call me and I'm right in her hand while her family and our friends are in the stands or waiting area.

Even though I'm the one that's furthest away, she keeps me close.

Charles had notes about you? He always carried the little notebook around but you assumed it was because of important information he wrote there. You didn't expect this.

His words rang in your ears as, while your boyfriend had told you he had been crushing on you for a while, he had never admitted feeling this doubt. Not to this extent.

Suddenly, it felt like you were taking a look from a different angle at Charles' soul. The intimacy and vulnerability wasn't foreign and you fell in love with him a little bit more.

Today is the day to get closer

To face her and see what she says

And if luck follows me

As I'm writing this, I hope Y/N is getting ready to meet me in the park. She looks beautiful in anything, but I'm hoping she wears one of her dresses that make her look like a real life princess.

Maybe we will be happy

What I have planned isn't elaborate, because I don't think she would like a big production, and I hope it's enough to show her where I stand.

I asked maman for some help with the cakes and cookies and got the rest from the shop, we're going to have a picnic and I've decided today is the day where I tell her how I fell about her.

There is no point in hiding it, and Joris and Riccardo seem so sure that she shares the same affection.

Today is the day to grab her

I hope she does.

To be with the one I always wanted

And if the nervous voice doesn't fail

Y/N said yes to being my girlfriend!!! As it turns out, she does feel the same and we both agree that it was a mixture of stubbornness and bad timing for eachother. Now, it's the right place and the right time.

I hope we will be happy

The memory is clear as day on your mind.

I confessed how much I love her and she reciprocated it.

Charles asked you to meet up with him at the park because he wanted to talk to you. The seriousness of the text was confirmed when you arrived, Charles pacing around the picnic blanket until his eyes found yours.

"I can't pretend anymore", he said, "you're the first person I look for when I get somewhere I know you will be too, I can't stand to see you hurt or upset and I will kick myself every day if I'm ever the reason you hurt, which I hope I'll never be. You deserve the world, Y/N, the moon and the stars, and I'm going to get them for you because I love you", he offered.

You had been so dumbfounded that you could only approach him and kiss his lips, cupping his face closer to yours, "I've been in love with you for so long, Charles", you whispered back.

It was the day where your love story truly began despite having existed for all of your childhood. You were his and he was yours.

Come with me, love is not time

Continuing to look through the notebook, you spotted some racing notes with numbers and acronyms you weren't sure that they meant, taking a while to find another page that had similar writing.

It's not even time that does it

Come with me, love is the moment

In which I give myself

Y/N is asleep right now as we fly back home after the race. She hasn't left my side and I think this is the first time she's sleeping since we got the news. We knew it was coming, but it doesn't mean that it hurts any less.

In which you give yourself

The feeling is unbearable. Someone who gives you so much also takes so much away from you when they go away. There's so much to go through, and all of the feelings haven't come up yet.

Maman is waiting for us with Lorenzo and Arthur, and I hope we will all find peace with this heavy feeling together.

Y/N told me the feeling may never leave, it creeps up when you least expect it and there are no rules to it.

Time is precious and I want to spend as much time as I can with the ones I love. God knows I did that with papa and it still feels like it wasn't enough.

The creak of the floorboards alerted you that someone else was inside the apartment before Charles' head peeked, "Hello, mon ange", he smiled, coming up to kiss your forehead.

It's these moments where we're not doing anything particular or special that mean the most. Y/N has given me all she's got and I've given her all of me, at the end it's the most human thing to do. Be there. Be present. Allow the other to feel everything they need to feel and protect them. Y/N has protected me and she's never let me doubt that we are for each other.

"I looked through these - I didn't mean to invade your privacy but I got curious", you admitted. It would be no use to lie about it or try to hide it away.

Time will wait, stop there

"Did you like what you found?", Charles asked, pulling the other office chair to sit at the table with you, "I have this one here that I really like actually", he flickered through the pages.

So I can stay like this looking at you

Time knows well, even time understands

That someone doesn't rush

"I wrote this one when we were on holiday, it the boat", Charles tapped the page, "you looked so beautiful that day and I felt like I was running out of time to appreciate you. Then I spent the whole afternoon watching you and I felt like time slowed down a little bit because it knew I was appreciating you", he charmed.

That looks at you like I do

"These are very beautiful, Charles - this one is so beautiful", you smiled, kissing his cheek and cuddling up to his arm as he continued to leaf through the notebook.

Call me an adventure and come and have an adventure

There were also drawings and loose poems along with some photos he kept of you two. One of the hike you had done in Ibiza last year caught your eye. You stood on top of the rock and by the way your arms were positioned, you were calling Charles to join you in there while he snapped the picture.

Change my plans and I promise I'll believe

That I'm the only one you want to see when you wake up

Your haven if the world collapses

Come and deceive me with that look of yours

The sweet way that trips me and without counting

Quench my thirst with a kiss to shut me up

Make me a poem and let me stay

I do not forget

But I want to hear from your mouth all the words that make me blush

Speak softly in my ear

And grab my hand

"This was last year, one of the seasons where I had to deal with so much disappointment in racing, and you never let go. You were there to hold me everytime things didn't go well, to celebrate my achievements and my podiums, and you still make it feel like an adventure every single day", Charles mused, "being loved by you is assuring, comforting, liberating, soothing, amazing, incredible and the best feeling I have on the world! Loving you? It's as incredible as it is a big responsibility because I have to make sure the adventure is still there and that we're both in it", Charles admitted.

Before the night is over

"Being loved by you makes me feel like the only other person in the world", you looked up at him.

"Loving you is making sure the time stops when you're with me so I can tell you all the silly stories I know just to make you smile, all of this to make sure you know you're the reason behind my happiness and the one behind the longing that never lies when you're not there. It's hugging you back tight and have my heart wide open because it's yours to take", he sighed with a smile on his face.

"I love you, Charles - being loved by you is the best thing I get to experience in this life", you smiled before kissing his lips.

"This helps me a lot when you're not with me, it's like I can talk to you", Charles muttered, "and I get to have the memories written out too, you never know when this can come in handy".

"You have no excuse if your speech in our wedding feels impersonal or doesn't have any memories then", you joked as Charles' finger lightly pressed down on the remaining pages of the notebook, making sure you don't get the idea to flicker through the random pages he has used to doodle the perfect engagement ring for you, smiling at the thought of having you be his forever.

"I definitely don't, amour - I'll make sure it's a good one when the time comes", he smiled.

[simmyfrobby]

Being a bitch about the leafs getting a dewey is immature. Sadposting and making little edits about how awful Toronto is? Fuck off. Just because your team cant make the playoffs dont blame the teams that can. We will love him on the leafs. Get over yourself.

okay so i normally delete these kinda asks without bothering w a reply because i honestly think they’re kind of tiresome & because i know you’re just being a fan and if i can forgive wild fans for being unreasonable about their team i then i can forgive leafs fans for it too. 

with that said: braindead take.

just. stupid. so stupid, in fact, that i will write a reply because i think it genuinely might make me feel a little better. 

okay so lets start right at the end. WHY should i get over the fact that a player i like is no longer on my team. why should it matter that you’ll love him. my team was sold of in little bits to teams i either don’t care about or actively root against. 

that?? sucks?? 

i care about my team. i want my team to win. i want my favourite players to stay on my team and when they don’t that’s upsetting. this is not a revolutionary concept.

also the way it all played out was kinda shitty. i knew we would likely lose duhaime, but after losing pat i thought we would maybe get to keep dewar. and when the deadline passed i thought we were ok. hell, even connor thought he was safe. and that he would get to stay with his friends. and then it turns out we lost him at the last second. and that’s fucking gutting. 

“we will love him in toronto” ok. even if that is true, my favourite toy was taken away and given to some other kid. i don’t care whether or not they’re happy to have him. i didn’t want to give him away. were you happy for the canes when bunting went there instead of coming back to the leafs??? no because that’s not how this works. i don’t want good things for the leafs i want good things for my team. i don’t want other teams to win i want my team to win

and that’s allowed.

encouraged even.

“sadposting and making little edits” ok this is fair and accurate and i might make it my blog title if you don’t mind. it is funny to me that you interpret that poem as being about how much the leafs suck and not about?? how being traded suddenly?? and your best friend being traded away?? sucks??? poems are funny things and don’t say anything definitively, so you are allowed to interpret it however you like, but i haven’t gotten any angry avs fans in my inbox yelling about my "duhaime sadposts"?

but ok! directors note & something worth keeping in the back of your mind when interacting w this edit and also all other dewar edits: 

This is not!!! About you!!! 

i am not trying to hurt your feelings!! i do not care about your team!! for the love of god please just unfollow my blog.

also. and this is pedantic but i want to say it because its been bothering me. you don’t get “A Dewey”, you get Connor Dewar. the deweys were a matched set and without duhaime on the same team what does that even matter. you don’t get “dewey 2” you get Connor Dewar. congrats! that's great! he’s wonderful. please treat him nice etc etc.

being a bitch about the leafs is immature and i will do a better job of tagging my anti-leafs posts from now on. ill even tag all of my dewey poems as anti leafs if they're this upsetting to you.

one final thing: the wild not making the playoffs is very much the fault of other teams and i absolutely could blame other teams for it. theyre better and they beat us and now we might not make the playoffs. again: that's how this works. i get your point though, its not the leafs´ fault the wild have been miserable this season but i reserve the right to dislike them either way :)

congrats on the cute little guy. i will miss him very much. and again: PLEASE unfollow.

[ghostintheheadset]

Ok sorry for a 10:30 pm fandom rant. but.

This is a canonical, official tag in fe3h. I'll see it every so often, and it always rubs me the wrong way because the obvious implication of the tag is "unlike in canon, where they do not."

And that is just. Very blatantly untrue? The obvious example is after Jeralt dies, and every interaction in the following chapter is tinged by characters noticing and interacting with their grief. The battle in the sealed forest happens because Byleth is acting on their emotions and they fall into the trap set by TWSITD. They find their mother's ring in his room and carry it with them until the end of the game.

But even outside that: Jeralt notes how being around the students is making them look happy. When they wake up after the timeskip, their IMMEDIATE instinct is to go find their students and make sure they're okay. The vast majority of runs will end with them getting married to someone that they are in love with. They have paired endings that include exchanging love poems, starting a family, explicit moments of happiness with their spouse.

Does this sound like someone who's so emotionless in canon that fics where they have emotions need its own explicit tag?

But because their expression portraits are a lot less emotive than other characters, and the majority of their dialogue isn't voice-acted until Hopes, the conception of Byleth as being unemotional or not having a personality spreads around until we get here.

Let's talk about affect expression. Affect expression refers to how a person's visible responses emotion- not how they feel or process emotion, just how they respond to it in their face, voice, or movements. The terms "flat affect" or "blunted affect" are relevant here, referring to a reduced range of affect expression- someone with flat affect might show incredible happiness with a small smile, or appear perfectly neutral despite experiencing extreme sadness or anxiety. As you might expect, this can lead to people assuming those with flat affect are cold or unemotional, even when it very much isn't the case.

(This is also a fairly common trait associated with autism!)

Now, I do agree that there are aspects of their character, especially pre-hopes, that feel "intentionally left blank" for the purposes of being a player character for the player to project onto. There are definitely valid criticisms in that respect. However, it's always deeply frustrating to me to see them painted as being entirely emotionless or completely without character traits- they're someone who does feel, who cares about the people around them a lot, who turns back time to protect them, and that all falls by the wayside because they're quiet and not very expressive.

[astaraels]

i was tagged by the lovely @callivich for some fandom asks, let's fuckin goooo

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once? Cold Feet by aeli_kindara; In a Haze of Smoke & Fire by IanRightsOnly; please don't say I'm going alone and broad-shouldered beasts by biblionerd07; Cooperative Gameplay and Bright by grayola; to think that we could stay the same by teatrolley; love, let your hands be tender by sadwhales; to stop our hearts from drowning by enbytim; Redheaded Stepchildren by ZebraWallpaper (there's a lot, I know)

What’s a gifset you always have to reblog? anything with 5x10 i'm a slut for love and violence interplay

What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about? honestly when/if ian and mickey do eventually end up with a kid (it would happen completely by accident, of course) they're the biggest girl dads ever.

What’s a fanart you love looking at? this one is g o r g e o u s

What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration? well, i'm currently working on a soulmates au fic that's canon-adjacent of seasons 1-5, so that's been fun! (featuring romantic and platonic soulmates because i refuse to write only the romantic kind :p) i'm also fond of writing character study fics when the mood strikes. i haven't been motivated to write fic and post it in nearly ten years, but i'm very happy that shameless and gallavich have helped me knock some of the rust off the old writing skills.

What���s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of? SHOTGUNNING. where are all the shotgunning fics. also nurse!mickey (I read a fic with this once and it's a crying shame there's no emt!ian/nurse!mickey fic--at least none that i've ever seen...)

What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show? i've only watched the show through once but honestly s4/5 are my favorites, but i have a special place in my heart for s1 and s10.

What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved? I mean the fact that they managed to convict mickey of attempted murder and debbie of statutory rape is insane. (the age of consent is 17 in illinois! and it's literally sammi's word against mickey's AND debbie's! but it's fine, just fine, everything's fine...)

What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship? these two are the most siken-coded ship since dean/cas. in particular: little beast, saying your names, you are jeff, and wishbone. I even named my gallavich playlist on spotify after a siken poem, and half the chapter titles in my long fic will end up being from his works as well....

What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale? i think things are gonna go okay for them! i think that they may make their way back to the south side, but in a house of their own not too far from the other gallaghers. i like the idea of them ending up with a little girl of their own but i can also see them just being cat dads and being the best uncles to ian's siblings' kids. i would love for them to reunite with svet and yev later down the road, as well. there's endless possibilities <3

[irrealisms]

no apple but a heart liner notes

fic here if you haven't read it!

i had the idea of vitalasubz funerary cannibalism pretty immediately after seeing "cannibalism" on the prompt list. it's a good concept. but i wasn't sure if i could get it to the minimum word count (it ended up juuuuust scraping by) so i decided to write the time loop fic first and then do the cannibalism as a bonus if i felt up for it

and then one of my friends (unrelatedly! without knowing about this!) started talking about eclipse fed cannibalism on discord, and i was like Man....i should write eclipse federation cannibalism....unfortunately i only really have enough ideas for One Scene of it.....and they were like write one scene then! and i went You Know What. youre right. and wrote this in one sitting

for research for this fic i read all of @erstwhilesparrow's mcyt cannibalism fics in a row. check those out if you haven't already: double life desertduo(&/)boat boys, limlife mean gills, 3rd life desertduo, new life owen(&/)scott

i knew basically as soon as i had the idea that i wanted to do stuff with the despawn timer. how much can you eat in 5 minutes, when you're grieving and dissociating and in shock, your action spurred on only by the knowledge that whatever you don't eat will disappear forever? that this is the only way to preserve anything at all of the one you love?

in contrast i did not know until literally the day of writing it that i was gonna do something with hearts-as-hearts. it was a good idea, though.

did you know that after subz dies, vitalasy stands without moving or speaking for 50 seconds, turns slightly, and then continues standing there without doing anything or speaking for another 13 seconds. yeah. fun little canon moment. it's also 63 seconds off the 5-minute despawn timer!

the title is from quattrocento by margaret atwood, which is a great poem. idk how well it actually works for this piece thematically, it works okay i think but i'm not doing a ton with serpent imagery here (even though i could! subz and eclipse are in fact totally doing various mythological snake imageries!) or with garden-of-eden stuff? but the imagery always stuck with me when writing cannibalism stuff and i hadn't gotten to use it for a title yet and figured this was my chance

cannibalism as devotion.... cannibalism as memorial...... mm. good stuff. i should have made a way to make this Eucharistic somehow, cannibalism-as-worship doesn't show up here as much but it would've slapped.

something that didn't make it into the fic but that i did have some thoughts about is vitalasy's feelings wrt zam + subz after this. i think he's glad, on some level, that he got to eat subz and zam didn't, but also he feels kind of guilty for feeling glad, but also he's arguing to himself that he shouldn't have to feel guilty, it's not like he stopped zam from being there, zam wasn't there bc zam isn't/wasn't on their team.

other stuff that is even less fic-relevant but that i've been thinking about is that you could do a lot with "if you kill someone you get their heart" + the various meanings cannibalism can have. cannibalism as domination of an opponent. cannibalism as possession. cannibalism as respecting someone's sacrifice. killing someone and then handing them their own heart to eat, when you kill someone and give them back the heart. yeah. fun possibilities!

shoutout to ihob. nothing much to say here other than i'm glad i somehow included ihob in the vitalasubz cannibalism fic. i love ihob. i love that bacon only eats pork chops even though they're worse than golden carrots! he's on three hearts anyway, what's the added saturation gonna do! i love the dumb fucking three-way contract for its ownership. i love. ihob.

fun fact: the only other fic on ao3 tagged with subz's suicide stream is ALSO a vitalasubz funerary cannibalism fic. i genuinely did not know this until after posting. what can i say, it's a good concept.

[cerseiwexler]

tagged by: @selfproclaimedunicorn 💖

favorite painter: will admit to not being the most well versed in art, but artemisia gentileschi's work has always spoken to me. her renditions of judith beheading holofernes is a classic for good reason, and was the first painting i saw that really captured that restrained yet infernal rage women can be so capable of.

favorite poet/author: poet is e.e. cummings -- i also enjoy a lot of modern poets but none come to mind. cummings wrote two of my favorite poems of all time: i carry your heart with me and i like my body when it is with your. as for authors, gillian flynn really gets me. sharp objects especially hit me right in the heart.

favorite singer: ethel cain. i became a fan a few months before the release of preacher's daughter, then the album solidified my love forever. it was exactly what i needed in my life, exactly the words and sounds i needed to help me process some of the things that had happened to me. i love her lyricism, it's lush and evocative and lays out the story she's telling so well. love a good concept album; love a good concept.

favorite band: see, this one is harder!!! is florence + the machine still technically a band or have they become florence's solo project? if the former, i choose them. you just can't beat those heavy beats and cosmic sounds, and her voice is to die for -- we love alto representation.

favorite meal & drink: i have to choose just one??? okay dinner would be some sort of pasta for sure. perhaps a nice ravioli in a lemon cream sauce? and then if that's what i had for dinner, i'd want something light for dessert, so how about a fruit tart with vanilla cream? yes i think that would do just fine. (that said, i have many favorite meals and it all just depends how i'm feeling at the time lol)

favorite outfit/aesthetic/style: funny you should ask! because i'm currently in the middle of revamping my aesthetic after not having much of one for quite some time. i'm going for bright colors and summery silhouettes and plenty of skin and lots of light layers when it's cold instead of big puffy ones. all in shades of pink orange yellow and purple, with wide-leg jeans and platform shoes to accessorize!

favorite item you own: beyond things like my pet snake and wedding ring, i would say my phone or laptop. gotta stay connected to the world!

favorite perfume: confetto by profumum roma. exorbitantly expensive but ohhhh so delicious. i have a travel size and luckily a little goes a long way bc i've been able to make it last pretty long!

tagging (if you want, of course) @eldritch-historian @avenger-ashley @wearetheunholyfamily @bookcersei

[newsmutproject]

Hello, I am considering writing here but had a few questions regarding themes and kinks that were allowed, so I thought I'd get them all into one question. Firstly, are fantasy and Sci-fi settings, ok? and if so, are we allowed to use preexisting ones? secondly, are non-human characters allowed? alien species, fantasy races like orcs and dwarves, or Anthros?

Fantasy and sci-fi settings are more than okay! The first piece in the first volume of Erato is a prose poem about polyamory on an alien planet. Also, over the past few days we've shared author interviews from another previous anthology that answer your question: Tiana Talaria's story in Cunning Linguists has some amazingly hot ship's AI/captain dirty talking, Louise Kane's "Welcome to evolWorld" is about sex and love in alternative reality, and Seb Palumbus's "I Ought to Be Thy Adam" is a romantic and electrically playful T4T retelling of one of the spec fic originals, Frankenstein.

Pre-existing settings: If you created them and hold copyright, definitely. If they're in the public domain, sure. We can't publish stories set in Middle Earth, Pern, the galaxy far far away of Star Wars, etc.

Non-human characters: Hopefully a clear yes from the answers above and from the fact that we point out in our guidelines that "sex robots" are a hard sell but "robots who have sex" is not (both Erato and Cunning Linguists have some hot stories about sex and romance with robots, as well as aliens, goblins, and other beings who are able to affirmatively consent).

You can check out all the author interviews (including excerpts from stories) from the first Erato under this tag. This month as its release anniversary approaches, we're also re-sharing author interviews from Cunning Linguists, which can give an idea of the stories we publish. At the same time, we love to be surprised by new concepts, and we actively want to expand the range of identities and perspectives we publish with each book. So please send your speculative smut right in!

[justaloreaddict]

Thank you @sableglass for the tag!

I was humming "Getting To Know You" while reading here and then as I wrote.

Short Stories, Novels, Or Poems?

All of the above. I prefer more novel length stories, but sometimes I have only a few scenes or ideas to make a short story, and poetry is so much fun to make the word sounds and tempo echo the feelings in my head.

What genre do you prefer reading?

Fantasy Fiction, Sci-Fi, Space Opera, Historical Fiction…off the top of my head.

Are you a planner or write as I go person?

Write as I go. I might make a simple bullet plot point list to keep generally on-track, but if I have ideas for the future I just put them down near where they’d fit and then work towards fitting them in.

What music do you listen to while writing?

Whatever feels in-theme for either the story as a whole, a primary character who is around, or just the vibe of the scene regardless of any other factors. So I could be listening to dark dubstep while writing a fantasy scene, just because the vibes are good overbearing cosmic horror.

Favorite book/movies?

Okay, that’s a real can of worms. I will never not recommend the Dinotopia books, especially Journey to Chandara. I love the Leviathan series by Scott Westerfeld, and his Uglies series was also good. I love Wandering Star by Teri S. Wood, the first space opera I ever read and I think first book I ever shed tears over. The Last Dragon is another wonderful graphic novel, and so beautiful with the best story. Drifting Dragons, Kaiju No.8, Fullmetal Alchemist, Delicious in Dungeon, all good manga. I should stop here… Movie is Treasure Planet, followed by Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole and Epic.

Any current WIPs?

Heh, yeah…all the titles are WIPs of varying attachment too.

Lay Your Weapons Down, Changelings and Scars, and CSD are my primary WIPs, and then V:TM v5 nonsense also gets added to here and there.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would be your standard outfit?

Jeans, work books, a flannel, and a furred hunter's cap with long flaps that cover the ears.

Create a character description of yourself:

A socially awkward beanpole who first seems mute until she suddenly says something. Then very loud and struggles to quiet down once comfortable.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

In what way? Like taking their personality or appearance copy-paste? No, I don’t. But some of the creative people I know have done intensive research and thought on things I never think about so I absolutely use their ideas when mine fail and it makes sense.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

No. I don’t like killing off any of my characters. Even if it is plot-important, I feel a bit bad.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Tea, but only because it’s harder to make coffee that I like at home than tea.

Slow or fast writer?

Middling? When I’m going at it it is a flurry of words. When I’m not feeling it, takes ages.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

All over the place. Authors I like, manga/books/graphic novels I enjoy, my surroundings, aesthetics, music I listen to, concepts I stumble across once, shower thoughts, just about anything really.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

I would be an unexpected magical healer. Maybe a bit of a trickster too, but true to my word and fiercely loyal. I’d claim to be a cleric, but it’d be hard to pin down my deity. There would be many rumors about me, but I’d ignore them all.

Most favorite cliche:

Shallow characters who are actually very insightful.

Least favorite cliche:

Only one bed, or anything romance related really. Even meet-cutes.

Favorite scene to write?

Scenes that I feel powerfully. Could be a character embracing their potential, someone comforting a friend, a character being deeply pained but pushing through. If I feel like I am right there with the character when I write and reread a scene then it is my favorite scene.

Reason for writing?

For fun, and to get the thoughts out of my head so I can focus on other things 😅

[kissochako]

𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐀𝐫𝐭

summary; You and Kei Tsukishima are in a long distance relationship. However, you guys manage by writing letters monthly to each other. You enjoy arts and drawing, Tsukishima enjoys poetry and writing, you guys both show that in the letters.

tags; gender neutral reader, long distance relationship, fluff, a squint of angst, Kei Tsukishima x reader.

To, y/n. 

This week was eventful, but still the same old. Everyone was annoying. I know you’ve been writing me some meditation exercises to calm down and not be ‘rude’, trust me, i’m using them. Daichi says that he sees no difference so far, I mean, not exactly but It sure did sound like it. moving on, you said that you’ve been wanting to try some of Japan’s art tools and brushes right? I brought some locally, they should be attached to this letter. 

in return, send me… something. I don’t know what I want. I just want something from you. maybe send me something with significance or meaning to you. don’t send me anything dumb. Also, I wrote my piece for this week. Don't think much of it, I know it’s good.

In the court filled with a yearning silence. My love stands undefeated of defiance Even without the essence of your sketch I can feel your lingering presence impart 

I learned to endure the agony in my heart Despite our veins being so far apart  It pumps eternally with a fiery passion  Please don’t ever write me to ration 

From, your Kei. God, that sounds cringy.

To, My Lovely Blond Tall Newly-Boyfriend, Kei♥︎

you’re so lovely kei, writing a cute little… What type of poem is that? cinquain? haiku? ah, forget it. two stanzas it looks like. My week was the best, now that I’ve got your letter! Okay, I’ll stop flirting or whatever. For real, my week was good. Also, calling people negative traits will cause them to manifest those traits!! （╹◡╹）

Thank you, Kei! I saw them and they look absolutely top notch, good choice! Attached to this letter should be a couple of drawings with the brushes and pencils. I always imagine us finally meeting up and I can see you play volleyball. I know just exactly how to pay you back, don’t worry, it’s not stupid. 

From, y/n.

As promised, there are papers with rough sketches, yet finely detailed features. Some have been altered with colour, while some stay the original monotone. The papers covered in eraser shavings, makes him think that you’ve put a lot of effort into this. 

This makes him etch a smile. As his mind visualises the real concept, when It’s you and kei, at their first volleyball game, together. 

[potter-pavlikovsky-popchyk]

My portfolio of hyperfixating and projecting, if you will. ENJOY! <3 (Most songs i post about are then put on this playlist... or another in the works, some of which aren't public for fics. I link fic playlists on fics.)

Ignore songs that don’t go, I might have added by accident since i be doing the most.

Boris' playlist has vibes for his whole life, him alone, with family after Theo and of course with Theo. So, energetically, very all over the place. Some dark desolate vibes, mixed states of being in a place of distortion as well as, of course mania. Drugs, mental illness struggles, unhealthy coping mechanisms, disconnect, discontent, and overwhelm.

Theos playlist. Idk I may change the image but I wanted to show how he lights up with Boris. Same difference as Boris for Theo but more sad boy™ in that way that is so much more Theo... you know what i mean.:

Also here is my Archive. Many are ongoing so pls subscribe incase i forget to post here about next chapters added since I'm super busy and don't want yall to miss a thing! <3 open to suggestions! comments or asks are always welcomed!

Richard Papen/Henry Winter fic (NEW CH IS UP!!!!! More to come):

The (original concept for the above mentioned) SUPER DARK AU gone even darker upon my revisit and much more layered. oops, now another long fic RIP! (PLS READ TAGS AND NOTES/SUM. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED) if you enjoy such content as this, follow the Dionysus2xBorn on tumblr as well so you don't miss the mischief over there!:

Random poem i wrote when i saw this lovely persons fanart. Called Cling.

A whole thread on figuring out some features/aspects about Boris from the book's description.

[fandomscraziness22]

Hi Kira! I'm here to be annoying again 😂

3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 15, 16, 18, 19, 21, 22, 25 all for JATP

angie!

3) What inspires you to keep creating fanworks?

hmmm well right now it's mostly my friends tbh! usually it's also an innate love for the material and the desire to build something off of it or explore something cool from it

4) answered here

6) What has been one of your favorite fandom experiences?

MAKING FRIENDS 10000000%!! i always heard people online talking about that and it never really happened to me, but in the past year it's been so amazing to make special friends within the fandom and be able to talk about anything and everything with them

8) Who are three fanwork creators (fic writers, gifmakers, artists, meta writers, etc.) that you love seeing on your dash?

i love @pink-flame so much, anything she writes is pure gold. i also love seeing @thedeathdeelers on my dash all the time, keeping that juke love alive! and i'm so excited that @pawprinterfanfic is back in the writing groove for willex!! (all her fics are also so incredibly good)

9) What’s a fanwork that made you laugh?

i don't really read fics for laughter? i know it's kinda weird but i love angst and love, not sillyness in fics. that said, i am a SUCKER for witty/funny banter, and the wizarding world of food service series has some good ones!!

10) answered here but i can add more (of course!) counting the ways to where you are is just heartbreaking as a concept and it soooo amazing, and i loved the look at Flynn and her own grief in i'm on your side (when times get rough)

11) What’s a fanwork that made you squeal?

okay another quick Bright Sessions one, say my name (and every color illuminates) is so fricking cute i love caleb/adam with everything in me. and an oldie but a goodie for juke is you're a part of me (i've reread this idk how many times!)

15) What three fanworks are you the proudest of making?

oh boy! okay, con au running with fire i live like a liar because it was the most worldbuilding i've done outside of a strict au by myself (and also i think it came out well). evil music my beloved! nothing broken (just our minds) is painful but i really liked the tension and the way it continued to ramp up in intensity each time. and then my luke survives au, i miss the days when. definitely one of my more intense and darker fics but i'm proud of how it turned out.

18) What fanwork of yours would you like more fans to check out?

i think don't say goodbye, my boys death fic? i just looked at the stats for it (i never look at stats for anything lol) and it has way less hits than i would have thought

19) What fanwork by someone else would you like more fans to check out?

SHELLY'S POEM FIC MY BELOATHED everyone go read there's more than one way to lose your mind it's soooooo incredible and cool and painful and AHHHHHHHHH

21) What is a recent fic you read for [fandom] that you enjoyed?

uhhh i haven't really read many jatp fics recently but All That Remains just started updating again and i started rereading it and it's so wonderful everyone should read it!

22) Tag someone who brings great vibes to [fandom]!

@legolasghosty is always encouraging and wonderful to hear from!!!

25) What unique thing do you think you bring to [fandom]?

oof, idk! i think i bring enthusiasm (although this is slowly waning sorry jatp) and fun aus????

[imbellarosa]

Let’s Talk Calm-ly about Two Loves

OR: When you’re a grown man who writes stories for a living, you definitely wrote your own weird bedtime story, too. 

The TLDR here is that H has taken one specific listener around the globe, notably to Tokyo and Jamaica. He quotes an old Victorian Poet who was an awful human but who’s lasting legacy is the phrase “a love that dare not speak its name” which is - you guessed it - a reference to queer love. He also is super excited to spend what seems like the foreseeable future with this listener and has bought a little house with a garden of daisies with them and it’s very sweet and domestic. Anyways this is a wild time and it’s all under a cut because it’s...really a lot. 

Anyways I think the people I owe thank yous this times around to are @queenlokibeth​ who had to listen to me scream about this for a while, Astrid, who screamed with me when this came out, and “M” who convinced me to finally get to work in this fandom. And, of course, all of the lovely people tagged below who’s work I used to build my argument. 

1.) Who Wrote “Dream With Me”? 

Well, not H, or so the story goes. Two other people (Steve Cleverly and Sanj Sen) did! I mean, right, okay, for a while I was like...that seems like an odd choice for a man who didn’t want to hand Two Ghosts over to his own band because it seemed too personal. He wrote on every song in both albums’ he’s released thus far, because he seems to be passionate about telling the stories he wants to tell (even if he won’t tell you explicitly what they’re about). But for a while, I was totally going with the flow there, and the rest of this analysis would still stand: the writer of this story definitely referenced a poem by Lord Alfred Douglas and Harry’s own songs. 

However, I then read this fun quote from the Co-founder and CEO of Calm: 

“Well,” he said, “The the Harry Styles one is interesting because that came purely from Harry Styles himself...we took the approach of creating a sort of musical epic poem – he doesn’t sing, it’s spoken with poetry, but there’s a sort of musical sound bed to it and it’s pulling on things and themes that Harry’s fans really adore about him and associate with him. So his story was driven really by him – we really created a concept around him.” 

-  Chris Advansun, July 7th, 2020 via @hlupdate​

And I thought, hmmm. This does not sound like a project that he was not involved in creating. From this point on (July, 7th 2020), I began to think of it as a three way co-collaboration between him and the other two authors. But this confused me a bit, because there was largely a nonreaction from the fandom. I was waiting for an actual transcript, because I always fall asleep to these meditation stories, but it was being referenced to as some sort of Y/N fic, which was...honestly not what I expected, but also not implausible, thanks to the ~lovely~ image this man has had since the age of sixteen. But also, twitter seemed to be concerned by other things at the moment, and no one was analyzing the story. . 

In fact, I messaged a friend the day that this story dropped, because it had been kind of a shit show day on Twitter. Rumors were sort of flying about everyone and everything: had Liam shaved his head? Was he engaged? Had he and Maya broken up? Were Zayn and Gigi engaged? Had they broken up? Did Niall have a girlfriend? (this one was true lol). Were Elounor engaged? Were they pregnant? Had they broken up??? My personal fav was the bald Liam rumor, which he promptly put to rest in LP Act 1 by...having a huge mane of hair. 

So then I thought - huh. Why has today looked like this? I’m not saying that there aren’t days that twitter goes wild because of boredom, because there definitely is - the articles about secret meetings in Italy that are coming out this week (8/12/2020) are proof positive. So that definitely does happen, but it doesn’t usually happen on the days that there’s a lot of content. And maybe I’ve just been starved for content in this fandom, but I would consider a 40 minute video quite a bit of content. 

Then the transcript dropped. I’m using two as references - this one on Wattpad and also @carl-and-pearl ‘s version here (thank you so much for the transcript!!). We’re going to get into a more detailed description of what’s going on in the story, but the first thing I recognized immediately is that it was first person POV. I knew that going in, based on the number of Y/N jokes going around on twitter. Then I read it aloud, and I realized that it read like a letter. Like an experience specific to the writer and the reader. And while that’s not super uncommon to write about an experience from the author’s POV - I listen to a podcast called Nothing Much Happens: bedtime stories for adults which has a similar concept - I thought it was odd that they were trying to include both the author and the listener. I completely understood why the y/n jokes were pertinent. But at the same time, it felt like something had snagged in my mind - like a particularly annoying splinter. 

The conversations I was having around this story - completely based on the content, concept, and my own instinct - was that this story contained specific references to one person. I thought that it did read like a love letter, and that most identifying features would have been taken out, but the essence remained. Which, once I thought about it, was something that H excelled at doing. Think about Sunflower Vol 6 and Adore You and Canyon Moon and even Watermelon Sugar and Golden.  Ask yourself, What do I know about the person they are about? They have skin that browns, they have a secret, they have mesmerizing eyes, they’re willing to dance in the kitchen with him (to dancehall), they have a belly, they’ve been through hard times, they’re witty, they have an accent, and they have lips. I know - super specific right?

So the splinter grew into a thorn - what was I missing? And then - when I was looking for something completely different - I stumbled upon this old interview Harry did with Zach Sang and the Gang Show back in 2017.  For context, he was being asked about Sweet Creature. As you can imagine, it’s hard for people to believe he wrote such a beautiful love song when he hadn’t ever really had a long term relationship (two hearts in one home?? Who did you move in with, you can imagine them asking. When did you have time?). So what did he have to say about this?

"In my opinion,” he explained, “I think most songs are written for one listener. Maybe there's one thing in there that only they'll notice about them.... It's so much easier to say something in a song than it is to say it to someone and I think it's really amazing to be able to communicate through that and be able to wrap up everything that you want to say in three and a half minutes and say it in a song."

- HS, May 3 2017

By this time, please believe that I was screeching. Seeing this felt like he put into words the exact feeling I had about “Dream With Me”. It felt like a nod to someone that I didn’t know, which made the story hard to listen to, tbh. Although, I will say that when I did finally listen to it, it knocked me out and gave me odd dreams so. Once was enough for me haha! 

So my new operating theory is exactly what Advansun said: I think that H was the primary writer/the driving force behind the story. Because of the references I’m about to run through, because it feels like the way he tells stories, and because they admitted to him being more involved than they originally claimed. That’s going to be how I write the rest of the analysis - under the impression that H had a direct hand in the story that was being put forth. However, I think that the analysis itself would stand whether or not he wrote any of it. It would just be a more tenuous reflection of him than I believe it to be. 

2.) How Do I Love Thee? In Two Ways. 

Before I jump into the story, let’s talk a little about the poem that I want to compare it to: Two Loves, by Lord Alfred Douglas.  Let’s be clear this is not at all a defense of who Bosie was - he was a terrible person, particularly in his later years, when he’d converted to Catholicism and turned his back on his younger self, and his partner, Oscar Wilde. He was violently anti-Semitic, and turned his back on his own community. I want to get this out of the way because I very much believe that we should examine artists for who they are. That is, after all, what I am trying to do here. 

But his poem Two Loves has often been used - much to his disappointment, I’m sure - as an exploration of queer love in Victorian times. A line that I will be exploring more deeply in a second was in fact used against Oscar Wilde in his trail for indecency . He attempted - unsuccessfully - to explain it away, but it was too blatantly about their relationship for even the British Victorian society to ignore. I really, really recommend a read of this poem, because it is - despite it’s author - a good piece of work, which explores the themes of shame and love and longing between two men in that time. 

I’m going to start with my own background, as someone who’s analyzed fandoms before. I first came across this poem in the Sherlock fandom, with this analysis by @the-7-percent-solution​, when I was running in that fandom, and she explains the poem brilliantly in just a few lines. I’m going to take a little longer to run through it, but if you want a concise explanation and a brilliant meta, I encourage you to run to their blog and check it out. That fandom taught me most everything I know about catching symbols and recurring themes and “clueing for looks” and I love it desperately, still. 

But we’re here to talk about this fandom, so on with the poem! Essentially, the poem outlines a dream the speaker had: In his dream, he’s standing in a field with flowers - beautiful ones of all kind - and he meets this young man with clear blue eyes and bright red lips and they kiss a bit and have a picnic, and it’s all lovely. If you think I’m kidding, I’m really not. Please, read it for yourself. 

Anyways, after they did they did the whole picnic thing, the speaker and his date go on a walk in this field, where they come across two figures. The first is described as, 

“...fair and blooming, and a sweet refrain Came from his lips; he sang of pretty maids And joyous love of comely girl and boy, His eyes were bright, and 'mid the dancing blades Of golden grass his feet did trip for joy; And in his hand he held an ivory lute With strings of gold that were as maidens' hair, And sang with voice as tuneful as a flute, And round his neck three chains of roses were.” 

- Two Loves, 1894

The speaker, however, was drawn to the second figure: 

“He was full sad and sweet, and his large eyes Were strange with wondrous brightness, staring wide With gazing; and he sighed with many sighs That moved me, and his cheeks were wan and white Like pallid lilies, and his lips were red Like poppies, and his hands he clenched tight, And yet again unclenched, and his head Was wreathed with moon-flowers pale as lips of death. A purple robe he wore, o'erwrought in gold With the device of a great snake, whose breath Was fiery flame..”

- Two Loves, 1984

Of course, the speaker immediately asks the second man who he is. The second man says, “My name is Love”. The first man corrects him quickly: 

“ He lieth, for his name is Shame, But I am Love, and I was wont to be Alone in this fair garden, till he came Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.”

-Two Loves, 1984

The second man sighs and acquiesces, “Have thy will. I am the love that dare not speak its name.” 

It was, of course, this last line that really gave the meaning of the poem away. It was the line that was put to Oscar Wilde as proof of a romantic relationship, it was the line that went down in history as a way to refer to queer love, and it was the line that first stuck out to me when I was reading “Dream With Me”. 

The reading here is clearly that “Love” is the love that is acceptable to society - easy, sweet, and cherished. “Shame” is the love that happens in secret - beautiful, alluring to the speaker, passionate, anxious ( as can be seen in the clenching and unclenching of his hands), and proud. He refuses to call himself as anything but what he is. The first man may call him Shame, but he refuses the name, and instead, offers a qualifier to his own descriptor. He is still love, he is just the love that can’t be spoken about. 

3.) Walking in Golden Fields of Sunflowers

Now let’s talk about “Dream With Me”. I’m ignoring the first few stanzas (from the line “Have you ever wondered” to “What the two of us can find”.) because those are pretty standard introductory paragraphs to a guided meditation. So we start with the line “Let’s travel now to moonlit valleys...”. 

I’m going to do the same thing I did with “Two Loves” first. I am going to describe literally, in general terms, what happens in the story. Warning, I change pronouns from “they” to “you” because the whole thing confuses me, but note that I’m always talking about the speaker and the listener: 

So after doing the standard intro, the speaker and the listener take a walk through the woods enjoying nature, particularly the grass, the trees, and the blue sky above. You’re already clearly in love. Then you’re magically on a raft, with cherry blossoms all around you. If you want a good visual for that, here’s a site that has pictures from a boat rental in Tokyo where you can snuggle on a raft in the  Chidorigafuchi moat. And then suddenly it starts raining, and they (you) watch the rain for a hot second, and then the scene magically shifts again, and you’re under a porch (although I guess it could be the boat rental’s porch. They do usually have covered areas). 

Kind of furthering that theory, they then lounge by the shoreline, skipping stones and hanging out, looking at the snow capped mountains. In case you’re curious, because at this point I sure was, you can see mountains from certain areas in the city of Tokyo. 

Anyways, then it’s snowing, and you’re magically in a cabin, just chilling by the fire, and you fall asleep again. You wake up somewhere else.

Where are you now? Well, you’re on a tropical island filled with palm trees. As an American, my mind immediately jumps to the Caribbean, but I suppose it could absolutely be in the Mediterranean as well. The island has white beaches, mangroves, a turquoise ocean, and a gorgeous, peaceful atmosphere. 

If you’re curious as to what a mangrove looks like - and I certainly was - they are a group of trees and shrubs that live in the coastal intertidal zone and Jamaica is doing a massive restoration project involving primary school children to regrow this vital part of their ecosystem. More interestingly, there currently exist no mangrove forests in the Mediterranean, so my initial feeling that this scene would take place in the Caribbean was correct. On that note - again, because I was curious - Jamaica has gorgeous white sand beaches with turquoise oceans. 

But I’ve gone off topic again! After you’re minds are “in tune” once more (trying to find a heartbeat, anyone?), you reappear in a meadow, with beautiful flowers of all kind, where you are now walking hand in hand through a field of sunflowers, which give the feeling a “warm and golden hue”. Then you come across a little farmhouse with daisies poking out (clearly I have no way of locating this anywhere in the world, but I assume that the UK has both sunflowers and daisies). It’s an empty house which was loved and left because of the passage of time, which inspires my favorite line in the poem: “ The thought of passing time inspires/A feeling that grows stronger”. It’s just...really sweet to me. 

So, of course, they do what anyone would do when they come across an empty farmhouse, they go inside. And there, they begin to fall asleep, reflecting on all they have just seen, referencing other scenes of the poem: “ Moonlit valleys, Burdened forests, Gazing at the ocean. Summer meadows, Tranquil sunsets steeped in emotion”. 

The next few stanzas are just going to be copy-pasted, and then I’ll go into them a bit, but this is the end of the poem, so they’re the final reflections;

“The tenderness we feel When we are close Two minds as one Surrounds us and connects us But we’ve only just begun.

For now we dream together Of all there is to follow. And know that sleep will keep us safe From now until tomorrow.

Maybe all the memories That we’ve gathered here tonight Are all dreams now remembered Or wishes in plain sight.

No matter what They’re with us now. For this night and forever. And every time we close our eyes They’re yours and mine to treasure.” 

- HS, Dream With Me, via @carl-and-pearl​

And that’s it! The literal story, in short, is that you started in a forest, then went to Tokyo (maybe) and then Jamaica (perhaps) and then back to a field of sunflowers and daisies in the UK (which is also a guess, it could be Italy or France or Idaho for all I know, but let’s call it an educated guess). 

4.) My Dream Journal

So now that we know what happens in the story, how do we interpret this? Well, There are a few lines in the poem that I want to draw your attention to: the first takes place in the first part of this story, when you’re still in the forest. This is, I must say, the most direct reference to Two Loves in the whole poem/song/story. Both works are describing a walk in the woods with your loved one, and, in a fun reference in the middle of the story, Dream With Me says

The shimmering reflection Shows us smiling from above. But what we think But dare not speak is L-O-V-E love.

-Dream With Me, 2020

Remember that line I mentioned before? I am the love that dare not speak its name. Right, so that’s almost a direct quote. It also has a really fun nod to “I Would” (Would he say he’s in L-O-V-E?/Well if it was me then I would), but I digress. 

This first part of the narrative, I feel, really sets up what the rest of it will look and feel like, in the same way that “Golden” sets the tone for Fine Line. (You didn’t think I was going to make a post about Harry and NOT mention Golden, did you?? If you did, I’m disappointed!!). So  let’s take a look at what’s happening, and the language he’s using to describe it. 

One of the best things about this poem is how vivid it feels. Of course, I’m about to argue that it’s vivid because it was based in reality, but let’s talk about the sheer amount of detail he uses to describe the place he’s walking through. The valley (canyon lmao) is moonlit, the grass and the leaves make mosaics of green, you’re walking by the heather (the symbolism of heather is good luck, admiration, and protection), the sepia sunlight breaks through the trees. 

You know what it kind of sounds like? Sweet Creature. You’re about to roll your eyes at me! I can feel it! But listen, okay?  

“Sweet creature Running through the garden Oh, where nothing bothered us But we're still young I always think about you and how we don't speak enough”

Which, to be honest, sounds like what they’re doing. They’re walking through the garden in the sun, not daring to speak about the Love that he (they both) feel, and instead refering to it in veiled Victorian terms. 

And then we head to Tokyo! I know that you’re about to ask me why I think it’s Tokyo versus...idk, anywhere else? Well, for one, he went to Tokyo (to let it go) publicly in 2019. He was there for a few months, and there are some great pictures of that time: 

Look! Here he is with his club owner friend and his dog, and a fun red bandanna! But let’s be honest, the dog really steals the show here. But wait! there’s more! More dog content, too!

This was on Jan 31st, 2019, and he’s taking the dog for a walk! Very cute! If nothing else, he spent a lot of time with dogs in Tokyo! And the city fits the description of the story. So I feel rather comfortable with my interpretation that this first date is a memory of this trip - or another - to Tokyo. 

So what did “you both”do in Tokyo? Well, chill on a raft while the cherry blossoms flutter around you, clearly. You also refocused your purpose. What did he do in Tokyo in 2019? Well, he took time to think about and write songs for the album he was about to go record. Kind of like refocusing on what’s next, right? And then, in the story when “you both” had time to think amongst the lake and the water and the rain and the moon, and you’d come to the conclusions you needed to, you left. What did he do when he did the things he needed to? Well, he left, too. 

And where did he go? Well, in real life, I suppose he went to do his job. But, in the story, you’re meant to be falling deeper and deeper into sleep, so it’s sort of like traveling backwards, you see? Like counting down to one. So you end up on this island with turquoise ocean and mangrove forests. I’m calling this Jamaica. Why? Well, the description fits, for one, down to the four types of mangroves that exists within its ecosystem. 

And - probably the biggest reason - I can place him there, too. Here’s him in 2017:

I added this picture because the water around him....looks rather turquoise, doesn’t it? Kind of like he’s enjoying his time on a tropical island by the beach?? Oh, and here’s another one!: 

The red bandanna makes a comeback! 

So what are you doing in Jamaica, according to the story? Well, you’re hanging out, basically. Enjoying the beach and each other, of course!  What else? To be exact, “[Your] thoughts dovetail and unify/ In tune two minds together”. I’m so glad that you’re tuned like an old guitar now! Congrats! Really happy for you! 

What was he doing in Jamaica three years ago? Why, he was recording his first album, or so the story goes. I’ll tell you something: finding press for that album was literally the most difficult part of this whole analysis. I got a fair bit of the tattoo roulette with Kendall Jenner, and some things about Carolina, but the interview with Zach Sang took me like an hour and a half to find again to link. The fact that a lot of it has been buried is...not great, for posterity purposes. He’s going to want that one day. 

But I’ve gotten off track again! We gotta go back and finish our story, right? What happens now? Well, this does: 

hahahaha okay, I’m really sorry, but I had to. I’m not, actually, making it up though! According to the story: 

“ As minutes turn to hours We drift off somewhere new. And visualize a stairway To a door we now walk through”

- Dream With Me, 2020

So maybe Louis was just...demonstrating for you. 

Anyways! Where do you walk out to? A golden field full of sunflowers. You walk for a minute, then come across an old house with daisies popping up out of the garden. And that’s where the story ends. I guess you’ve made that farmhouse feel like home. 

Now to the little reflection he does on the outro. The lines I want to bring your attention are: “The tenderness we feel when we are close two minds as one surrounds us and connects us but we’ve only just begun” and “Maybe all the memories that we’ve gathered here tonight are all dreams now remembered or wishes in plain sight.”

Let’s talk about the first sentence first. In the context of finding a home that could be a shared home, and a future, this is very much an “end of the story, beginning of our lives” sort of thing. You’re back from all over, and it’s time to settle down, and see what’s next. 

And now the second sentence. I think this is the one that really drives my point about this story being a collection of memories he has - that’s what he calls it. The story is “gathered memories” that might also be called “remembered dreams” (think of how people say of vacations, “oh it was a dream!”) or you might call it “wishes in plain sight”. This feels in line with the rest of the story. In this stanza, he’s sort of letting you in a bit. If I’ve read this right - and I really think that I have - he’s giving the larger context for the story. It’s a collection of memories he’s had with someone he loves. 

5.) Cool! Can you prove it? 

I mean, I’d argue that if you read this far, I have proved it, but let’s make some more links, shall we? This was called a “muscial epic” that was “driven by him”. I’d argue that if I know my Victorian literature (thank you, Sherlock!), then he definitely does. Then there’s the fact that he quoted it, so. That did happen. And he knows what it means. And even if he didn’t, there were two other people on the story. Someone was more than capable of catching that one, and the fact that they didn’t speaks to intent. They want you to think of that phrase when you read this poem. They want you to think of that walk in the woods while you’re going on this one. 

And, as for my assumption that this is for and about one person, well. Think about it. He said that he writes his songs for a single listener. I’m not saying it’s the same listener each time, let’s get that right, but it is always just for one person. With that, and with the assumption that he’s been involved in the writing of this story, I’d say that the same rule applies. He went with someone to Japan and Jamaica (J^2 haha). And, if I had to guess, it was the same person. 

Why, you ask? Well, for one, if that weren’t the case, then this poem would no longer be for one listener, it would be for multiple. And, for another, imagine how awkward it would be to listen to it with his current partner and have to explain “oh, yeah that was the super romantic vacation I took with someone else” . And, I suppose that because I think that attitude of “refocusing” and “dovetailing” and “tuning” and getting excited about imagining all of the tomorrows with your partner speaks to a long term relationship breathing easily, you know? 

I’m also going to argue that describing the aura around the house as “golden” was intentional, especially when paired with the location - in the middle of a field of sunflowers. Those are both direct references to his songs. And those two songs are particularly linked by the number 28. The third song that features 28 is Fine Line the song, but that’s a different story. Anywho! “Golden”’s bridge just repeats the word ‘golden’ twenty eight times (if you go here , you can count the bridge) and “Sunflower Vol. 6″ ends the song with 28 “boops” (believe me, I wish I was making this up. I’m not.). So then, once again, you’ve linked a story to two already linked songs. 

And, even if you don’t buy the intentional repetition, they’re linked another way, aren’t they? The color scheme and the sun symbol. Sunflowers were named because of their sun-like appearance. They turn to face it. They symbolize loyalty and adoration. And then, of course, the sun is - say it with me - golden. And it - like the person in golden - waits in the sky, beautiful and dangerous and constant. And here that symbol is, in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. At home. 

This whole story feels like you’re taking the time to find that heartbeat that you think you might have lost, and sort of coming back to a space where you understand that this is what you want, now and forever. It feels like finding a home that could be yours forever, and it feels like walking through some of the moments that remind him of that. 

It really is rather lovely, if you think about it, especially since he has a tendency to attribute “home” to people rather than place, in his songs. So it’s like. Going all around the world and always being at home. 

[akechi-gf]

so I read ur fic Devil Town (and man am I in love) and I was wondering whether ur working on anything else rn?? or plan to?? cause u write beautifully and there is a criminally low number of decent akechi-central fics out there. also if u have any fic recs that would be amazing?? particularly (platonic is welcome) saiki x akechi?? :)) sorry if I sound kinda pushy lmaoo

thanks lol

ps. ur art's so damn cute and pretty I can't even tell u how great it is- like wow okay just shove all that talent right in my face go ahead-

AAAAAA thank you so much for liking devil town! I do have a lot of Akechi-centric fics in my drafts right now, so you have those to look forward to (Though it may be a while before I actually end up posting them, hehe) 

As for fic recs, I have a lot that I enjoy !! Here’s a quick list of my favorites (none of these are nsfw, i don’t read those so sorry if you were looking for any in particular :((( )

I’ll Protect You from Now On by Crazy_Pairing_Person

This one’s at the top of the tag in terms of kudos, and it’s well deserved! It’s well written, it’s got your tiniest bit of bullying, and most of all, a very protective Saiki. Fluffy, quick read!

simple and clean by GalaxyOfMe 

Okay, personal favorite. The author wrote them really close to canon, and it’s in general a really sweet confession-type piece, and the ending is just adorable!

Watermelon Sugar by mystery_bitch

This one in particular had me smiling for hours after it- the concept is adorable, and Aiura is a great wingman! It’s a bit longer than the others, but it’s still definitely worth a quick read- fluffy, and there’s a bit of kissing if you’re into that. 

A Brain Made of Ramen and Non-Malicious Idiocy by Crazy_Pairing_Person

This one’s adorable! Of course, Nendo is his usual self-, and the interactions between characters is just *chef’s kiss*

One Hundred and Nineteen by heartlesscinderella 

Aha... hate to self- promote but this is my own fic, just your run of the mill unrequited love story. 

Bright Love, Dark Heart by Crazy_Pairing_Person

Will be honest, this fic was the first one that came to mind when I saw this ask- a nice amount of fluff, angst, comfort, and a bit of time-travel as well. It’s a good fic!

A Silent Sunflower by InfiniteOreos

Okay, I may be biased because I love hanahaki fics, but this is a 10 out of 10 and I never get tired of re-reading! The description is pretty straight to the point, as well as the tags- so when you read it, keep them in mind.

PS: love has no meaning by allusi 

This fic. This fic right here. It’s beautifully written, it almost reads like a poem, and it’s so very heart-wrenching and bittersweet. It paints Saiki’s abilities and their negative effects on him in a realistic, bitter way, and has me in my feels whenever I read it. Always a great reread.

Keep in mind that these are my top favorites, but the tag is full of great fics, and you should go and take a scroll through ‘em regardless! Saiki x Akechi fics aren’t many in terms of number, which I hope can be changed in the future!

(p.s. thanks for liking my art, too!! <3)

[chetungwan]

I have decided to finally post an explanation of my tags, most of which are overly flowery, some of which I don't really use anymore, and several of which refer to such incredibly specific concepts that I can't imagine they'll be useful to anyone but me. Also, they're going below this readmore, because wow I have many tags

A theory that explains everything: Physics, rules, astronomy. Grasping for knowledge or control. From a Louise Glück poem.

So I can fix it: the human extension of the above tag. So once you know everything, what will you do with it? The answer is using it. To create a world that makes sense, no matter how ruthless the process. This is taken from the same Louise Glück poem.

Suddenly so much to loose: the opposite of so I can fix it. The decision to claim personhood over power. Over morality, sometimes. But chosing the ambiguity of emotions over making it easy. I don't know if I got this from something, but I first used it in a startlingly self-indulgent self-insert fic that'll I'll never finish or show to anyone.

And if I can?: Hilariously, my tag for healthy, equal love. Love in the most consuming, but you are not lessened for it. Together you are more. And yes, I got it from Wolf 359.

Through every awful second: bone aching loyalty. Loyalty that will kill you, in the end. Being okay with that. I think I got it from a poem? It's probably somewhere on this blog, I think it's actually under this tag if you scroll back far enough.

Love like war: The aesthetic of love as a destructive force, love as something beautiful that will soon kill you. More general than my other tags for unhealthy relationships.

Riot: the danger, the blood, the weapons. These things are violent. It's a fairly general purpose tag.

Atom Bomb Girl: This tag relates directly to a series of poems I wrote in highschool, most of which sucked. It's used for posts that have a very particular kind of self destructive vibe, and I'm not gonna explain it any more than that.

Tie my hands up to a chair so I don't fall that way: Living when everything is falling apart and all that matters is just surviving right now. Holding on through bad times through grit and stamina. Taken from a Foster The People song.

An empty look dripping from your face: This is about the road trip, the wanderlust. Perhaps a lack of faith in a happy ending. Oftentimes just the aesthetic of a very long wandering. It's a line from a short story I wrote about that kind of road trip.

We ask and we answer: Relating to the Turing test or AIs. Communication, especially with unhuman intelligence. Lately I've started using it for language and translation stuff too, since in my mind those things go together. It's from the short story Silently and Very Fast.

A human response: Stuff about cuttlefish, dolphins, aliens, AIs. Smart things. It's like the above tag, but less directly about communication. Also taken from the same short story.

Closure sacrifices complexity: Relating to ending stories or the difference between history and stories. Also analyzing texts. Or analyzing the human impulse to tell stories. It's something an English professor said to me once, or maybe I said it to her. The same professor who gave me my blog's tagline.

This is how my story ends: This is what choosing to be a villain means. It's a conscious decision, a moment where you think, I'm not really attached to the idea of doing good. And this role fits me a bit better. You aren't deluded, you aren't hypocritical. You just. Define success differently. No idea where I got the phrase from.

You have reached the end. There is only one path.: This isn't deciding to become a villain or doing something, anything, to survive. This is the road the story the plot you've been walking down for a long time and the truth is you never had any other option. And you don't need to be happy with it. The story has taken everything from you, and now what? I also don't know where I got that line.

Throat to the stars: The moment of revel at the turning point of a long trip. Standing in a cornfield at night, laughing at the stars, an epiphany. This is also taken from my short story about a road trip.

Pale blue and paler yellow: The image of love like something gentle, love like a happy ending full of mint and sunlight, the happy ending. It means happiness, uncomplicated and kind. I got it from a dream and a person and my own sense of synesthesia.

I'm not ready for this sort of thing: Tragedy. Loss of love. Sorrow. The pure kind, just too sad to bear. Line taken from a Counting Crows song.

No one is what they were before: After the war. After the loss. Surviving past the sorrow. This isn't healing, this is just damage. Taken from the book Deathless.

Enough of the blood on hardwood floors: There is sorrow pure as well water, but then there is grief drenched in wrath. It's about revenge, it's about taking action too late to fix the important things. Taken from a poem I wrote that actually doesn't have anything to do with what the tag is about.

These strange witnesses: The strange, the liminal. Not road stop liminal, just surreal. Also serves as my general purpose horror tag. It's a badly misquoted line from a poem I read once.

tell me this is the future: The future that you are terrified of. Surveillance and climate change and fear and fear and fear. Taken from a Louise Glück poem, but not the same one as the other two.

Beyond my grasp: Faith, I think. I don't use it very often.

Lawrence at war: A person I am in awe of. Also not used very often at all.

And in the ring a trade: Relating to the Fey in some way.

Burnt the fire of thine eyes: Pictures of tigers or big cats. Or foxes. Or dragons. Taken from Tyger Tyger Burning Bright.

I want to live on the sun: Really, anything to do with flying or the sky. I don't use it as often as I should. It's from both my oldest daydream, and a Louise Glück poem.

Homes are where hearts are buried: Anything to do with cities. I think it's from a poem I wrote?

On the other side of the stage: Things that I relate too, or are vaguely about my life. It's kinda an "other" tag. If it's from something, I don't remember, I think I came up with it on the spot.

These are the things you can't take away: Family issues, home issues. I posted the poem it's from at one point.

Roll up and rant: Block this if you don't want to see me have discourse opinions. I don't use it much at all, but I figure folks should be able to filter it out.

200 mg of sin: Literally anything to do with coffee, and occasionally something to do with hot peppers. 200 mg of caffeine is the content of most caffeine pills.

And I wasn't sad: Photography, basically. It's from a poem I wrote about accidentally reformatting my camera.

Insubstantial colors on the breeze: In contrast to the previous one, it's a tag for anything drawn.

Wears my colors: Generally anything that I look at and go "oh! We'd have the same pride flag!"

But damn: Something I think is pretty, like swords or clothes or occasionally people.

Intrusive Heartbeats: Literally any original post of mine. I can't remember why I use this tag at all, but it's too late to stop now.

Once Upon A Time: A full story of some kind.

American Road Trip: It's like an empty look, but much more specific. It has to remind me of the short story I wrote very directly.

Clutch and nest: Anything to do with eggs. Eggs are cute!

The relic's sister: The tragedy of immortality, generally. Also, an incredibly specific reference to my oldest daydream that I refuse to explain because I am not Stephen King and I will not write my version of The Dark Tower.

My fics: Exactly what you think. Fics I've written.

Professional muse: Fics written for me, or inspired by me, or edited by me, or just written with any input from me at all. Basically any fic I was involved with but didn't write. These all come with my endorsement to read, as well.

Then say it aloud: Creative writing of mine. Generally replaces the intrusive heartbeats tag but only for creative stuff.

Ace feels: Ace and aro stuff.

Gender feels: trans stuff

Every room becomes a mouth: Anatomy, Eskew, haunted houses. Anything to do with sapient locations. Taken from the game Anatomy.

This is what my home looks like: Places that remind me of home. Or at least somewhere I've lived. I've lived in a couple places.

----

Threading the needle: Embroidery, knitting, yarn crafts, sewing. I've started using this more.

Hefting the hammer: The equivalent to threading the needle, but for other crafts besides fiber.

Not moonscape but earthscape: Parks and national monuments.

Not a place but a moment: A vague daydream of a future home.

Contains multitudes: Specifically for a sci-fi story in trying out. It's the Dyson sphere replicator copyrighted genders cowboy witch dead god one.

The mail is a haunted language: Tag for the USPS! Yes I made this one up, yes it's overly dramatic.

Drag them into the sea: Basically this wild dissatisfaction that characterized a certain flavor of depression I had as a kid.

And here's my tags for fandoms, or something so specific it doesn't need an extended explanation. Some of these I've stopped using entirely, but there are still posts with them back there, some I've only used a handful of times. Others are still in heavy use. Some of these I made up myself, but most were taken directly from the source material.

Black Widow - my past is my own

Hawkeye - okay this looks bad

Joan de'Arc - my god told me I was not safe and I agreed

Leverage - and I help those who can't

Alice Isn't Dead - somewhere a long way from where we started

Almost Human - And then you woke me up

Wonder Woman - and never waver

Russian - land war in asia

His Dark Materials - part of everything alive again

Farscape - see the young man that fell from the star 

Wolf 359 - with a goddamn harpoon

American Gods  - so none of this is happening

Star Wars - so now it's a war story

The Man From UNCLE: a workable metaphor

Good Omens - and a nightingale sang in berkeley square

The Bright Sessions - chill. I'm gay too

The Penumbra Podcast - anywhere and anywhen

Marvel Mutants - what have you become

Buffy - and coming out alive

Graceling - still doing your best to ruin the horses

MorMor - and you know what it won't be enough

Artemis Fowl - you don't know who you're dealing with

Expendables - going oh shit

Firefly - me and mine

Les Mis - long enough and narrow enough to cover a man

The Girl Who Circumnavigated - to lose your heart

The Hunger Games - why am I not dead

The Magnus Archives - sleep no more

Machineries of Empire - the numbers were numbers that mattered

I Am In Eskew - a city of wonders too

SAYER podcast - a better life among the stars

Arthurian - not exactly neutral objects