#the tumblr filtering system is also very bad so that could be way it’s hard to find too

[dabisbratz]

Do you have any any bottom m! reader blog that you personally like? BTW I love that way you write !👍🏿🤍

thank you!! there’s veryveryvery…very few of us that i can find but! @/keiitharoo, @/reallyromealone, @/a-dummybottom @/lovesick-fics (think they do both preferences!) @/bontensbunny01 n @/weaper-reaper if you’re into cod! n if anyone knows any bottom m reader blogs id love to follow them…

EDIT: adding some creators from the replies!! @/demonicpansexual/pansexual-ghosty,

@/voxakumasprettyboy, @/secretivemessenger @/gaybitchfx and @/jkloserdazai @/rag1ngwat3rs @/aphrosdytus0

[winterhawk-olympic-bang]

How To Edit Your Writing

Guest Poster: Chronicwhimsy

Here is our final Writer Workshop post, written by Chronicwhimsy. Have a read and then head over to the Discord Server where we have a channel for you to take part in a discussion based on the post, with chances to share your own ideas too.

Editing: a drive-by guide

Hi, my name is Claire, and I’m an editor.

(Hi Claire)

I’ve been asked to give a quick guide on tips for editing your stories, as I’ve been a beta/editor for various fanfic writers over the years. I’m a professional editor, working for a publishing house in the UK, and I offer independent freelance editing too, via my website. I’ll be on the Discord server answering questions this evening, but I’m also happy to chat to people either through my website or even if you wanted to drop me a line on tumblr.

The key thing to remember about editing is that the end goal is to make your story the best it can be, and make sure your initial idea comes across as clearly and purely as you first imagined it. It’s about ensuring that the lines of communication between you and your reader are 100% open.

To do that, you need to have finished your story, because you can’t fix something that doesn’t exist.

Then you edit.

What now?

So, you’ve finished your Winterhawk Olympic Bang Fic, and you’re wondering what to do next?

The very first, and most important thing you should do? Celebrate. I mean congratulate the hell out of yourself, pat yourself on the back, and have some cake. Finishing stories is hard. Getting through a first draft is one of the trickiest parts of writing, so you should be proud of yourself, and proud of your story.

Because in a short while, editing is going to make you hate both.

I mean that in the nicest possible way of course, but you absolutely are going to be thoroughly sick of this whole thing by the time you’re done, and you’re going to question everything you’ve ever written. You’re going to get a close-up view of all your narrative bad habits which will make you think you’ve never had any skill at all, and you’re going to re-read your work so many times that it’ll feel trite, old, uninspired. This is normal and it is your brain lying to you. If you remember nothing else, remember that!

“The writing itself is no big deal. The editing, and even more than that, the self-doubt, is excruciatingly impossible.” Jonathan Safran Foer

Don’t lose faith! Editors and editing exist for a reason, no first draft is perfect. You’ve done something amazing in finishing, and now you’re going to make it incredible.

Before You Start - Take a Break

You know the phrase “can’t see the wood for the trees”? It could just as easily be “can’t see the story for the words.” It’s never recommended to go straight into editing as soon as you finish writing, and part of the reason for that is because you’re too deep in the story to be able to assess it objectively, or to catch things that are missed out because you know they’re there, but the reader wouldn’t.

“Once it's done, put it away until you can read it with new eyes. When you're ready, pick it up and read it, as if you've never read it before.” Neil Gaiman

Most writers and editors advocate putting a story away for a month or so before returning to edit, so you’re looking at it with fresh eyes. Obviously, with a Big Bang (or other fic event) this sort of time is usually at a premium! Try and make as much space as you can while still leaving yourself time to edit.

If you really don’t have any time, one trick that can help is changing your location. If you write in your room, can you relocate to your kitchen? Or a café (if you can safely)? Could you print it out? (Printing Top Tip: if you do print it, try and do it double-spaced - this makes it easier on the eyes, and gives you room to make notes. Also, serif fonts can often be easier to read than sans serif fonts, as it gives stronger distinctions between different letters.)

The Filter System

I like to think of the editing process as a series of different filters which, when used one after the other, produce a finely-sieved finished product. Each filter stage has slightly smaller holes than the one before it, as you look increasingly closely at your work.

Filter 1: Structural editing

Does the story make sense? Is the pace okay? Do all the scenes work where they are, or would they be better elsewhere? Do some scenes need to be there at all? Is the characterisation consistent? Does anyone change names halfway through? Did you forget what time of year it was set halfway through?

Filter 2: Line editing

Is this phrase as tight as it could be? Have you repeated yourself anywhere? Does this sentence add anything or does it throw the pace off? Have you gone overboard with adjectives and similes? Have you been too sparse with them?

Filter 3: Copy editing

Is your style consistent? Did you start writing in present tense and switch to past tense? Could this scene transition be snappier? Are there any bits that you want to tidy up? Have you left any half-finished sentences because you got distracted before you could end it?

Filter 4: Proofreading

Is everything spelled correctly? Have you caught all the strange grammar mistakes?

Some of these things might be picked up by your beta reader if you have one. Different beta readers have different styles, and also they will work based on their relationship with you and what you prefer. Some may stick to proofreading and consistency-checking, others may be more confident to dive right in and look at structure, pacing and characterisation. Some may work through the process with you as you write, others may only look at the story when it’s complete so they can get a full overview. There is no right or wrong answer, and having a conversation with your beta about your respective styles at the start can help you work better together!

Filter 1 - Structural Editing

For this stage, you want to read your whole story through from start to finish, and resist the urge to tweak anything to begin with! You will want a way of making notes as you go through because as you do, you’ll make yourself a cheat-sheet to help you with your line edit. Things to keep track of:

Character name spellings

Character ages

Character relationships (drawing a relationship web can be very helpful to visualise this!)

The time span of the story - the date it starts, the date it ends.

As a subset of this, I find it can be very helpful to set up a spreadsheet with a timeline of what happens in the story, and who is involved. Doing this both chronologically for the characters and in order of how it happens in the story can help you keep track of what characters know when, and also when the readers find out certain information. You might have one of these from when you were planning your story (as detailed in Sara Holmes’ workshop). If you’ve kept it up to date with changes to the plot and structure as you’ve written, this will be super helpful.

At this stage, you’re looking to see if everything works as a consistent story. You want to check to see if it feels like it’s the right pace, or if there are bits where it drags or rushes through the action. Why is this? Are there scenes which aren’t adding anything to the progress? Could they just be referred to in passing, or removed entirely without impacting the story? Are there other scenes which need to be added to provide more detail and growth? Is there anything that you as a writer know that is essential to the story, but you forgot to actually put in the text?

“Crafty writers...don't allow Exposition to form Lumps. They break up the information, grind it fine, and make it into bricks to build the story with.” Ursula K. Le Guin

You’re also looking to see if the characters feel true to themselves all the way through. Do the relationships spark? Do they sound like themselves? Can you hear them in your head?

Some people recommend doing several structural edits, with a different focus each time. One pass to look at the pacing, one pass to look at the characters, one to look at the story arc. You’ll work out what floats your boat, but you will be re-reading this story a lot of times before you’re done editing - which is why it’s very important to write what you love and want to read! You’ll go through many stages of hating this story before you let it go, and that will be even harder if it wasn’t something you enjoyed in the first place.

Filter 2 - Line Editing

So you remember I told you to make all those notes during your structural edit? Here’s where you’re going to use them. Now’s the time to go through your story line by line and check that the details in your cheat sheet are correct all the way through the story. I’ve written a novel that I initially set in November, but by the time I finished it, I’d decided it was taking place in early May. I had to go back and fix all the dates and weather descriptions to make sure the action hadn’t actually been yeeted forward six months spontaneously in the middle of a conversation.

Arguably, the line edit will be the most painful part of editing. At this stage, you will be taking a fine-tooth comb to everything you have written, examining it to within an inch of its life, and casting judgement. You’re going to find every stylistic tic you have (for me, everyone is constantly quirking their eyebrows and smirking like they’ve got cramp in their facial muscles), and you’re going to get rid of them (a person only has so many eyebrows, and they can only quirk so far). Now is the time to kill your darlings - don’t hang on to anything unless you feel it’s really doing a job to further the story and the characters.

“Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler's heart, kill your darlings.” Stephen King

If you have ever worried about the unbearable sensation of being Known, the line edit is where you will experience that with every word, and you’ll be doing it to yourself. This is when the doubts will really start to creep in and you will maybe feel like everything you write is unoriginal, derivative trash and unfit for human eyes.

Here I’ll reiterate what I said above:

This is a normal feeling, everyone experiences it when editing. E V E R Y O N E.

It’s a lie. No-one else will ever read your story in this state, no-one else will ever read your story this closely. Of course it feels obvious and uninspired to you - you wrote it. It’s your idea, and you’ve read it several times, it holds no surprises for you. (I may be projecting my feelings from every time I’ve edited something here, but…)

You’ll also be catching any ELEPHANTS or whatever your mammal of choice for placeholder text is that you’ve stationed throughout the story as a flag for you to come back and add in a name, or a food, or a song title later. You know, the things you decided were a problem for Future!You. I have bad news, the future is now.

Top Tip: if you have changed someone’s name halfway through, DON’T for the love of Mike, just do a straight find and replace to correct it. Because that’s when you suddenly find out how many other words actually contain names (Mark became Bill? That’s great, until your characters are going to the superBillet to buy groceries). Some word processing programmes have a “whole word” option which is your friend, otherwise ensure to put spaces either side of the word when you search. If you don’t, you’ve just made another horrible job for yourself...

Filter 3 - Copy Editing

Once you’ve made it out the other side of the Line Edit (and given yourself a nice treat to congratulate yourself because that stage is HARD), we get onto copy editing. This is basically the set-dressing stage. You’ve built the house, you’ve decorated the room, and now you’re just making sure every bit of furniture is in the right place for optimal feng shui.

Here’s where you go through and go, do I really need a dash here, or could I just use a comma? Could I use fewer commas? Could I go in and move all of @kangofu_cb’s commas around because I’m the sort of person who will come into your house and change how you hang your toilet paper or where you keep your ketchup.

Now is the time to be as picky as possible, like you’re an interior designer for the most demanding client in the world and the ornament must be exactly equidistant from both ends of the mantlepiece and facing precisely south-west. Things that may have just survived your line edit will be measured again, and if they’re found wanting, then they get binned.

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” Mark Twain

Another thing you might like to do here is check that all your features and things are correct. Did you make a wild claim about the lifecycle of salamanders, or the average price of corn and then never go back to verify this? Take a second to just do that now. It may be that you decide it’s not a problem (I received one copy edit note saying that an idiom used in a book wasn’t recorded until 200 years later, and I made the editorial decision that no-one would care), but for bigger things you may want to make sure you’re accurate.

If you google it (as I just did, to make sure I was definitely giving you the right information), copy editing is often conflated with line editing, and that’s because in reality a lot of the elements of copy editing actually wouldn’t usually be done by the author, and are probably irrelevant to fanfic. The copy editor is responsible for ensuring the book has a consistent grammatical style in line with the preferences of the publisher (em-dash or en-dash, curly quote marks or straight ones, how you deal with acronyms, what needs to be italicised, etc. etc.), which isn’t necessarily required for fanfic. In reality, for fanfic I’d use this stage as a second, lighter line-edit to see where things can be tightened up in phrasing, as well as perhaps a preliminary proofread where you start to mark up any spelling errors.

Filter 4 - Proofreading

By this stage, you’ll be exhausted, and sick to death of the blasted thing. But the end is in sight! Now you’re onto the proofread. This is another close read, where you go through and check for spelling errors, typos, missing full stops, strange formatting stuff (which probably will be less of an issue as AO3 basically makes everything uniform anyway).

Before you even start this, change your font.

We’ve all been there, thought we’d caught every spelling error, every weird typo, only to spot six immediately after posting. That’s because after a certain point our brain becomes used to the font we’ve written in, and will automatically correct things that aren’t right. AO3 has its own unique formatting - colour, spacing, font - and the minute your fic appears on there in this new format you brain wakes up and is like “oh shit, yeah, that’s not how it should be.”

By changing the font before you proofread, you preempt this step.

Another thing to remember: it’s unlikely you will ever catch every mistake. Published books regularly go out with a smattering of typographical errors throughout the text - how many first editions of books are valuable because of misspellings that slipped through the net? You’re only human.

“Connie's other job was proof-editing which she did very badly. Transferring the author's corrections to a clean sheet of proofs was something Connie was unable to do without missing an average of three corrections a page, or transcribing newly inserted material all wrong... she put angry authors' letters about the mutilation of their books under the cushion of her chair to deal with later.” Muriel Spark, A Far Cry from Kensington

Often, spelling errors and things you would look for in a proofread are things that a beta reader will pick up as they go, as they’re the easiest things to spot, but it’s also worth looking over yourself for anything your beta might have missed.

Whether you decide to follow any or all of these steps, always do the proofread last.There is no point carefully spellchecking a chapter you are then going to delete, or proofreading the whole thing, but adding loads of new paragraphs later that either don’t get looked at or mean you end up having to proofread twice. That’s the only hard and fast rule when it comes to editing, and it will save you a lot of unnecessary work!

FREEDOM

And then, finally, unbelievably - you’re done. Your literary child is ready to leave the nest. Resist the urge to keep re-reading and tweaking. Instead, click “publish” and give yourself a nice little treat. You’ve earned it.

Miscellany and Disclaimers

These editing stages are ones that would be applied to a published novel. An author would probably do this several times - once on their own to get it ready for submission, then perhaps again with their agent, but the really heavy work would be done with their editor. The structural edit would be done under the advice of an agent or editor where the author looks at their comments, rejigs things accordingly, and lather, rinse, repeat until everyone’s happy. The editor would undertake the line edit, and the author would decide what they wanted to keep or change. The copy edit and proofread would be done in-house or sent to freelancers, with queries and changes wafted past the author for clarification or approval.

Self-published authors will often hire freelancers to help at various stages to get feedback and advice.

Very rarely would an author go from draft to final published piece by doing all their editing alone. Because it’s hard fucking work, and because your brain will get exhausted.

In light of that, you need to remember:

You’ve written a fanfic

The editorial standards of fanfic are significantly less stringent than published books

Editing by yourself is really hard work that many people are often paid to do for published books

No-one is paying you for your fanfic

Fanfic is supposed to be fun

Some published authors will edit and rewrite and edit and rewrite again and again. At a panel I attended, Joanne Harris said that if she didn’t rewrite her work at least five times she was being too easy on herself, while Joe Hill said he usually aimed for three rewrites - Joe edited as he went along, going over the previous day’s pages before continuing, where Joanne completed her manuscripts before editing. Elizabeth May has talked about her stages of drafting, starting with her Trash Draft, then her Clean Draft, and then rewriting and editing after that.

These are people who are writing professionally, getting paid for their work, and so the time they put in has monetary results. If you want to write original fiction, their advice is extremely valuable.

For fanfiction, it’s a large time investment for something you’re doing as a hobby for free. If I’m strictly honest, I’m fairly lax with my fanfiction editing. I do structural discussions and tweaks with my beta reader as I write, and then a spell check. I’m also aware that my fanfics aren’t narratively complex, nor do they seem as polished, rich and deep as some of the other works out there. That’s fine by me. You simply need to find the level you’re happy at, where you can still feel proud of your work but you’re enjoying the experience.

In the end - it’s all for fun!

Resources:

Online

Curtis Brown Creative: An Editor’s Guide to Editing Your Novel

Joanne Harris: Ten Tweets About Editing

Joanne Harris: Writing Resources

NerdsLikeMe: Beta Reading vs Proofreading vs Editing

Books

Stephen King - On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

Ursula K. Le Guin - Steering the Craft: Exercises and Discussions on Story Writing for the Lone Navigator or the Mutinous Crew

[tester2080]

The Leaving Cert is an awful system.

09/09/21

In case you are not from Ireland, the Leaving Cert(ificate) is the exam system that determines which uni we can get into. Rather than having a GPA via continual assessments or any sort of entrance exam or letter of application we simply have one set of exams. There are obviously other exams (such as the christmas and summer exams in other years), however, the Leaving Cert exam is the only one that matters.

When you take a subject you can either do ordinary or higher level. Ordinary level is easier but rewards less points, and higher level is more difficult, but rewards more points. A H1 is worth 100 points (except for HL maths which is 125) and is given if you get between 90 and 100%. A H2 is 88 points and 80-90% and so on. An O1 is 90-100% in an ordinary level subject but only 56 points. There are some weird changes to the system when it comes to medicine but I won't get into that right now. Universities award places based solely on the points you receive. This leads into the first problem.

Whilst the education experience is a multi year process (6 years in secondary school in our case), what determines your uni course is a single event, often just a single week out of many years of learning. This is insanity and leads to so many obvious problems. A person could be getting H1s throughout the year and forgot to study just one topic and end up with a H3 in the leaving cert at the end, and a H3 student could get lucky and study a topic that happens to come up and get a H1. Even a single grade can be the difference between getting into the uni you want and losing out. The leaving cert does not measure you abilities as a student, your effort, or even sometimes your ability. The leaving cert measures your memory and how well you can perform on the day. You getting 100% in every single subject for the past 6 years and a family member dies a few days before the exams and it absolutely ruins your mental state? Too bad. In the eyes of the university you are not a good enough student. You are a perfect student but got a bit nervous and stayed up a bit late the night before to get some extra study in and are tired the next day? Too bad. You've been getting 625 in every set of mock tests but on the day your mind goes blank with the incredible stress, the knowledge that one test will determine the rest of your life? Too. Bad. There are no exceptions to the hand of the points system and claw of bad luck. You cannot explain to the uni. They. Will. Not. Care. Nothing else is taken into account. Students will have bad days. That's just life, we're all human. However that must be accounted for. Nobody should miss out on their life's dream because of a single day. That is absolutely absurd.

When you ask someone what education is about t. There is a filter type system for different categories of posts and all that, so if you're interested in what I have to say, I'd recommend going there for the better experience. I also have no fucking clue how to use tumblr sof you ask them what the leaving cert is about they will say it's about getting into uni. Clearly there is a disconnect here. Where has education become so distorted that now it is nothing more than a way for universities to quickly and easily judge us? Education must be about teaching children, not for some uni test, but simply so they can become more knowledgeable, so they can get a thirst for information, so they can locate their strengths and weaknesses, so future generations can live better lives than we will. University selections must be nothing more than an afterthought. It is even worse when the leaving cert is a horrendously stressful system. We put ourselves through sometimes 6 years of stress and bad quality of mental health to make it easier for universities??? What a ridiculous idea.

The leaving cert isn't even a fair way to judge students. Here, I'll be able to determine how good you're likely to do in the leaving cert with two simple questions. Do you have a good memory? Are you good at maths? If you answered yes to both, the chances of you doing well are very high and if you answered no to both - well - the chances aren't quite as good. A huge amount of the leaving cert is simply a memory test. I know the state will talk constantly about how rote learning is discouraged and all that, but realistically that's not the case. Take for example the English paper. You get to know which poets might come and which poems you can use before the exam. This mean your teacher can simply write you a good sample answer and if you can remember it, that's at least a H2 for that part of the exam. And as for being good at maths - if you're good at maths you already have 3 subjects which you can say with reasonable certainty you will be good at - maths, physics, and applied maths. Students who aren't good at maths have nothing like this unless they are fluent in several languages. A big problem when you arises most of the non maths subjects are based on memory, and the ones not based on memory are based on maths. History? Memorising essays. Irish? Memorising poems. Biology? A lot of memorising. Physics? A lot of maths. Accounting? A lot of memorising. This continues throughout basically all the exam subjects, with only maybe one or two exceptions. I know someone who hasn't even started 5th year, and yet they already know they're screwed and have basically given up on their first choice course because they have dyscalculia and a terrible memory. They can try as hard as they want, study as hard as they can, but realistically, they aren't going to come close to someone with a good memory and are good at maths who put in the bare minimum effort. It's bizarre too, given the amount of jobs that don't require either maths or a good memory.

The subjects you can study in the leaving cert is also extremely limited. You have to study Irish, English, Maths, and a third language. In public schools you then basically have the option of History, Geography, Accounting, Business, Economics, Art, Music, Religion, Chemistry, Biology, Physics and DCG. There are no electives to try out things similar to careers you might be interested or anything like that. Now those that plan to go into business will be happy I'm sure, however, for most other people, the subjects have very little in common with the career you want to do. You're doing law? I suppose a business subject might somewhat help??? You're doing computer science? Maths is kinda related. Medicine? Biology sure, perhaps a little bit of chemistry? But at most 2 out of your 6 subjects will actually be any way relevant to your career. To make it even worse, public schools have subjects in blocks. This means there will 3 blocks of subjects and you pick one from each block. You're super good at both physics, chemistry, and business? Well too bad, there's a very high chance you won't get to study all 3, and you'll have to pick up geography or some other subject you have no interest in. In some cases all 3 of the subjects you like may be in the same block, meaning you'll have to pick up 2 subjects you have no interest in and will likely be worse at. Once again, simple luck plays a huge part in the leaving cert. Going into 5th year, the subjects you're allowed pick will likely change your eventual points by around 30 or possibly more. Furthermore, private schools provide a massive advantage, often with your chance of getting good grades being around 4 times higher. You were born with well off parents? Congrats, here's an extra 100 points have fun. Absolute insanity. The leaving cert is really just determined by luck every way you look at it. Now obviously luck plays a part in everyday life too, but the leaving cert basically caters to the lucky, and a whole lot could be done to reduce the benefit they have based on luck alone, rather than quality of character, or time studied, or effort put in, etc.

I suppose I've reached the stage where I should stop complaining and start giving actual suggestions for improvements then. Fine. Firstly, remove the idiotic one exam process. Instead have some sort of GPA system with continual testing, so it shows how good a student is on average, not just on their worst/best day. Increase the amount of uni places available so that getting into the uni and career you want becomes more of an afterthought, rather than a constant stress looming over you. Add more subjects and electives that will be relevant to the career the student is planning to go into. Make learning and discovering your strengths and weaknesses and just enjoying life in general a main focus. Give students time to relax and do sports outside of school, even in 6th year (which is something basically impossible to do under the current system). Allow the tests that determine the GPA to be open book. Make understand more important than simply memorising. Remove the subject block system so students can do all the subjects they actually enjoy and are good at. I believe that the single test system is one of the reasons that private schools perform so well, by removing that, I believe the scores wouldn't be so far apart. However additions restrictions, or even total banning, of private schools could be implemented. After all, surely everyone deserves the same quality of education. These are children and teenagers for gods sake. There shouldn't be a heirachy of education based on their parents wealth. All students should be given the same opportunities. Private schools largely do better due to having better teachers. There currently isn't a large enough supply of very good teachers to go around, and the private schools can simply buy up the majority of good ones. We should pay teachers more, a lot of people thinking about careers may be dissuaded from teaching, despite having a passion, due to the low pay. Many good teachers also go to places like Dubai thanks to the better pay. Overall in society, teachers are sort of dismissed as a profession, and if we wish to improve the lives of the next generations, this must change.

[painted-crow]

Submission time #15

hi, how are you? you said you are busy with life so it's totally fine if you take a long time to answer me, if you decide to answer at all! if you do, i need help with my primary. i'm mostly between bird and lion. burned. i usually think of myself as a bird primary but i might actually be a burned lion.

i have somewhat of a bird primary, it's the way i process information, how i decide what to think of things, and how i adjust new pieces of information to my beliefs, if it changes anything, if it doesn't. basically, analysis. i will always need time before making decisions. i have to think things through.

but i second-guess myself a lot, and that leaves me not trusting anything. nothing is true, me and my fact-checking system aren't reliable, there are just too many biases, and external information isn't reliable either. all pieces of information are being used by people with their own agendas. and it's not just distrust. there is and there will always be so much that i don't know, that i don't have any ways of knowing. so how could i trust me, or anything.

Yeah, you're a burned Bird. This seems pretty clear-cut.

and, as for intuition. well, sometimes i take it into consideration. i don't understand a lot from what is intuition and what is not but, from what i understand, there is a fine line between impulses and intuition, and i don't know how to tell it apart a lot of the time. so, i have urges to do something, i have thoughts that come to me without being prompted and sometimes i trust what it is telling me as true. i'm aware of it, i follow it sometimes, whatever it is, and it exists, and it tempts me. it's a lot like i'm not comfortable with an internal system and i'm not comfortable with an external system. so. i don't know.

I think you're modeling Gryff, a little, but your model also seems singed.

(i might be going on a tangent here, but please bear with me. i wanted to ask if you relate to something i've been through. i like to understand things, and i need them to make sense. i'd like to see all sides of an argument before making my mind but sometimes that doesn't go well because i look for all sides and i get sucked into arguments from people who i shouldn't be listening to.

during my last year of high school, i sat next to a guy. and the guy had some really bad politics. his ideas were mean, cruel, messed up. but, the worst of all for me, there was logic attached to it. he had data. he had information. and that was a hard for me to deal with.

i didn't agree with anything he said, but i listened to him, i really wanted to understand how he saw the world, and why he believed the things he believed. so i listened to him. i was curious. i wanted to take into consideration what he said, to dissect it through my mind filters, my system, i guess.

it was also hard because i was less prepared than him, i had studied those subjects less, there were some data he had that i didn't know what to do with it, because it went against my moral code, and he was using all these information to confirm his ideas that were truly awful.

since then, i've realized a lot of things can be true at the same time, and that not all data, and not all information is to be trusted, if all. there are a lot of biases all around. there is not a lot i trust, and i'm trying to not say i don't trust anything but i also can't say i do.

See, this is really understandable. But, several things:

First, as you've noticed, it's impossible for one person to know everything. However, before you let someone's worldview intrude on yours (which has also been carefully established through your own experiences, your own knowledge, and your own common sense), you have to be aware of all the different biases that could be affecting them. You're not the only person whose bias needs to be checked, and not everyone checks their own (or even wants/feels the need to), and they're not going to tell you the holes in their argument.

Rather than studying the entirety of existence, study bullshit: learn to pick out logical fallacies and cognitive biases like the Dunning-Kruger effect, and always question the sources of others' information if it seems fishy. Just because they say it's from a reliable source doesn't mean it is, and their sources are also liable to be founts of unchecked bias. Even scientific papers can be full of it, unfortunately.

but anyways. back to my story. he said some of this outrageous opinions in the school group chat and people got really mad. some people even threatened him. then he came to school with a pocket-knife. i warned our school supervisor, and he got suspended.

Good on you, keeping an eye on him and reporting the brewing trouble without getting hurt yourself.

a few weeks later, i went to a protest, and he was there with a group of his same-minded friends, trying to block the protest. so. really. he was not a nice guy. he really wasn't. what he believed in was dangerous. it was bad. and i had known that for a while before i shut him down.

The thing with Lion is, it's got more of a built-in bullshit detector than Bird does. Bird feels guilty if it doesn't check all angles, even the ones Lion will dismiss immediately as idiotic. That's not always a bad thing, but sometimes it puts us through a lot of extra grief.

It sounds like you're starting to model Lion, and if you can turn that into an ability to ignore people who are just dressing up their propaganda in fake research, that's a good thing.

i feel really, really, really guilty. you have no idea. like i said, i've had never agreed with anything he said but i was listening to him anyway, i was letting him say all these things, and i was taking it into consideration to dissect it through my mind and i feel very bad for doing that.

No, I don't think you should feel guilty just for listening to him. Learning why people believe what they believe, even if you absolutely know it's not true, can be incredibly valuable. It can help you be more empathetic and more convincing, it can inoculate you against sliding into their worldview (assuming you're stable enough not to fall for it yourself), and it can be a real window into human nature and psychology.

This guy hurt you. Yeah, maybe you should have kicked him to the curb sooner, because he was so destructive, but he's the one who hurt you--your intentions weren't bad.

and that was just the worst situation, it isn't an isolated moment. less seriously, when i was in fandoms and i used to use tumblr a lot, i'd go to the tags of antis, anti ships and characters and tv shows and artists i liked, because i wanted to see if i could counter-argument what they were saying.

sometimes i couldn't so i'd stay in a limbo of liking something but unsure if it was the morally correct thing to do.

Oof. This might be getting into Exploded Ravenclaw territory? I should look those up again.

i still do a lot of sh*t like that. my friends joke that i like to make myself miserable and that i go out looking for reasons to stress myself. and you know, they might have a point but the thing is that this is who i am, how i am, i need to do it, it's the right thing to do, and i'll keep doing it. i just don't know how to do it in a way that is healthy, and i don't even know how to trust information anymore.)

Your Gryff model seems like a healthy way to keep these tendencies in check. You can still question things, but remember the 80/20 rule, you know? And take care of yourself: you can't make good judgments if your mental health is in the toilet.

as for the test,

I've trimmed this section for length/ease of reading, I hope you don't mind! But I did read everything, and yeah, it's more of the same: you're a very clear burned Bird with a semi-struggling Gryff model.

I hope that helps!

-Paint

[jadegrey711]

The Hideaway

Nick Scratch x Fem!Reader

A/N: Thanks to @thehappylittlehufflepuff for requesting some quality Nick Scratch fic and for being so patient with me, since I’m such a procrastinator and it seems like my life want slow down for one fucking minute to let me reach my keyboard! Also sorry guys I’m a bit Vanilla, I tried lol.

*NOT MY GIF*

If you like my stories you can check out my sideblog @jadegreywriting​​ to see all of them and my masterlist without filtering through my main blog.

I own all rights to this story and do not give permission for my stories to be published, translated or reposted anywhere else. The only places I have published my stories is here on Tumblr and on my AO3 account (LadyAuthor711) 

This story is for 18+ ONLY. It contains sexual themes that are not suited for younger audiences so if you’re under 18 my blog and this story is not for you. Please make sure to read at your own discretion and remember that you are solely responsible for your content intake. 

Prompt: The Reader and Nick have some fun at a hidden club that has an exclusive membership.  

Songs of Inspiration 

Criminal- Fiona Apple 

bad guy - Billie Eilish 

Nick had been promising something special all day and now was finally the time I got to see exactly what that “something special” was. As we made our way up the steps of a familiar building, I felt my excitement drop just a notch as I noticed the subtle sigils by the door of the seemingly abandoned building which I knew was the front door to Dorian’s.

“Nick.” I said as he pulled open the door and held it open for me. “What exactly is special about Dorian’s? We’ve been here a hundred times you at least a thousand.” I said as I walked through the open door.

“Just wait and see Y/N. Maybe you’ll find that you don’t know Dorian’s as well as you thought you did.” He smiled wickedly, his smile giving nothing away.

I walked down to the balcony at the end of the hall that overlooked the underground club of Dorian’s, seeing the usual witches and warlocks; drinking, dancing and making out. I was still extremely skeptical about Nick’s words about not knowing Dorian’s as well as I think I do. Nick took my hand as he led me down the one of the staircases and down to the bar.

As usual Dorian Grey was standing behind the bar counter wiping down a glass, till it gleamed.  “Hello Nicky. Y/N.” He regarded us both with a small smile. “What can I get you both tonight?”

“We won’t be drinking tonight Dorian.” Nick smiled, before he placed his elbows on the bar counter and leaned in a fraction closer to Dorian. “Sorididum”

I rose my eyebrow at him, but Dorian seemed to understand the hidden meaning in Nick’s phrase perfectly. Dorian looked from Nick to me and smiled, before gesturing a hand towards a hallway in the back of the club.

“Have fun.” Dorian chuckled, before turning his attention back to his glass.

Nick took my hand once again and pulled me past a few people on the edge of the dancefloor towards the hallway that Dorian indicated; no one was down here but at the end of the hallway was a life size portrait of Dorian. It’s how I imagined his other portrait looked before he made his pack with our dark lord. He had that same tousled blonde hair he does now and his immortal good looks, but what caught me was his smile; it held an edge of sensual mischief to it and seemed to only grow more intense as we walked further toward it.

“Nick. What are we doing?” I asked, completely perplexed when we finally reached the end of the hall and were standing face to face with the large portrait of Dorian.

Nick turned to me and gave me a kiss, only to deepen it; his tongue intermingling with mine before he pulled away.

“I promised special. Let’s see if I can deliver.” He said as he placed his fingers as the edge of the painting and slightly pulled. The painting creaked on its hinges as it swung away from the wall, revealing a hidden entrance way. Nick grabbed my hand once more and pulled me towards the newly revealed entrance and to what lay beyond it.

I felt my breath catch in my throat as we walked through this hidden club. It was filled with people from a vast assortment. Some were completely naked with the exception of masks on their faces, others were led by leather clad women by a leather leash keeping them close by. Some were simply sitting down on one of the many red velvet couches getting a lap dance by busty women, there was even women receiving even more intimate actions on the opposite couches by virile young men. I felt a blush creep up my face as I took everything in, but even stranger I felt my center clench as we walked deeper into the club where there were rooms to conceal the more private affairs of its customers. However, those rooms did nothing to contain the screams of pleasure or the moans of ecstasy that was coming from the other side of them.

I tried to take everything in as we walked down the red halls, from every sound of pleasure, to the seemingly endless red hallways. Its walls lined with paintings of people enacting various sexual acts in varying positions that I’ve never seen before. Suddenly, Nick stopped and opened a door at the end of the hall, revealing a grand room with a giant bed covered in red silk sheets in the middle of the room; along with a varying amount of “toys” neatly placed throughout the room.

Nick stood aside while I took in everything, I could feel him watching me, assessing my reactions to a part of himself that he just revealed to me. I could feel my heart beat pick up speed as my excitement at seeing this side of Nick grew. I felt his presence behind me, then felt the soft sweep of his fingers; pushing my hair away from the side of my neck.

“What do you think?” he said placing a soft kiss behind my ear, making my body erupt in shivers. His hands wound around my waist bringing me closer to his hot body; as he buried his nose in my hair.

“It’s interesting. Very interesting.” I said, feeling his smile against my neck, and felt one his hands start to brush up and down my arms, making the goosebumps on my arms a permanent fixture. Suddenly I turned in his arms and he put his hands back on my hips, not breaking contact.

“So, what exactly did you have in mind Mr. Scratch when you brought me to this Den of Iniquity?” I smart mouthed, giving Nick a little smile to let him know that whatever game he was playing that I wanted to be added to the gameboard.

Nick gave me that award winning smile filled with mischief and I felt one his hands slide across the back of my neck and bury itself in my hair, gathering all of it in one hand; his fingers felt soothing as they rubbed small circles in my scalp. “Well if you really must know.” He said before his fingers fisted my hair tighter and brought my head sharply to the side, exposing my neck to him. “I brought you here to do whatever the fuck I wanted to do to you.”

I felt my body erupt in those same shivers only more intense, that reached all the way to my center making me clench deliciously at his promises.

“I brought you here Y/N so I could fuck you.” He paused smiling to himself, then leaned closer to my ear. “And maybe you can even fuck me too.” He whispered before taking my earlobe and sucked; making me gasp hard enough to reach out for him and clutch his chest. “But, that’s all in good time. For now, tonight is a bit of an introduction course to see if you want this as much as I do.” He smiled against my skin.

“Alright.” I smiled and looked over to the massive bed, then to the other “toys”. “What are we doing first?” I asked trying to keep from sounding too eager. 

“Get on the bed.” He growled out, his chocolate eyes growing dark with lust until they looked positively black. 

I did as he commanded backing slowly away from him until I hit the back of the bed and then jumped up, sitting on the plush duvet. Nick slowly sauntered over to me, eye fucking me the entire time, maybe planning out what he’s going to do next, maybe he knows exactly what he’s going to do and is just taking his time to rile me further. 

“Now what? Mr. Scratch.” I said as innocently as I could muster without breaking out into laughter. But Nick wasn’t laughing. 

He caught my chin with his hand, bringing my eyes up to his dark ones. “There’ll be none of that here, sweetness.” He finished with a smile, slowly bringing his lips down to mine, opening my mouth and letting his tongue slowly dance with mine, building me up to the main event. I could feel his hands sliding up my legs, until they reached my center, he fingered at the buttons of my pants before he slowly pulled down the zipper.

He broke our kiss so he could swiftly pull away my jeans. Kissing my stomach lightly before pulling them off all the way and chucking them across the room. “Sit up higher on the bed, sweetness.” He cooed in my ear and I did as I was told; scooting up until I hit the headboard and heard something jingle slightly above me. I looked up and saw a pair of handcuffs.

I let out a small chuckle and looked back to Nick. “Aren’t those a bit basic in the presence of everything else in the room?” I smiled, watching as Nick climbed up the bed and then straddled me, unbuttoning my blouse and helping me out of it, along with my bra.

“I told you love, it’s an introduction course. Don’t worry there’ll be plenty of time to play with the others toys.” He said as he tossed everything else where my jeans were, leaving me only in my underwear.

I smiled again and looked back up at the handcuffs and noticed these weren’t your run of the mill handcuffs on a bedpost. They were on a chain link pulley system almost, like the kind where you can pull up and down. Nick grabbed the bar that linked them together and pulled it down, I heard the tell-tale sign of chain links and felt my excitement grow. 

“Another reason why I started you with these sweetness is because I know how much you love to touch me when we fuck.” He continued as I felt him cuff my first wrist. “How you love to pull my hair.” He said leaning down to kiss me. “Drag your nails down my back as you feel your climax coming as I pound into you…faster…and faster.” He whispered in my ear as he cuffed my other wrist. “But that’s not going to happen tonight Y/N.” He tsked. “No, tonight I’m going to start this introduction course by denying you touch. I’ll be able to touch you wherever…” he paused trailing his fingers up my slit soaking my underwear, and making me groan, arching my back up to meet his touch. “However, I want.”

 "Nick.“ I breathed, pulling on the cuffs, the reflex to bury my hands in his soft dark hair, like a muscle memory. 

Nick smiled, placing his lips against my neck as his fingers continued to softly plunder my center. He trailed his kisses up under my jaw and up to my ear sucking the shell of it lightly. I let out a low moan and suddenly Nick pulled away from me, fingers and all. He got up from the bed and stared at me for a moment, taking in the picture he was seeing. 

“Fuck, baby. You look so fucking good like this, all tied up and willing for me. Do you want me to fuck you now?” He smiled, knowing full well the answer. 

“Yes. Nick please.” I said feeling myself already becoming whiny from the lack of touching him. 

“Okay sweetness. Since you asked so nicely and you’ve been such a good girl, letting me tie you up and play with you for a bit. I’ll fuck you real good.” He said as he slowly undid his shirt and then threw it over with my clothes. I watched intently as he slowly undid his pants; making it a show of it. Before he crawled back onto the bed and straddled me, sitting on his haunches as he slowly pulled off my underwear; and removing the final piece that stood between us. 

“So beautiful.” Nick said as he trailed his fingers down the valley of my breasts, down my stomach and nestled themselves back in my cleft. I let out a heady moan. 

“Nick.” I whined. 

“That’s right baby, I promised I’d fuck you and honestly as much as I want to play with you right now. I also don’t think I can hold myself off from burying myself deep inside you any longer.” He growled as he spread my legs wider and then I felt him thrust inside of me quick and hard. 

We both let out a greedy moan, both craving more of each other. I pulled against my bindings the need to touch unbearable; especially when he was so close to me, but just out of my reach. His arms were planted against my head and his lips crashed to mine as he pummeled himself into me, each thrust becoming harder. 

I pulled on my bindings hard, as I felt one his hands reach between us, and rub my clit; setting me further on fire, making me practically scream. But Nick wasn’t relenting not an inch, his brutal thrusts only seemed to be egged on by my screams of pleasure. 

“Nicky.” I moaned, “I can’t…last for much longer. If you keep that up.” I said breathlessly, feeling my climax build to a peak that I didn’t think I could survive. 

“Hold it sweetness.” He said as he rubbed on my clit harder earning another scream of pleasure from me. 

“Nick!” I screamed. “I can’t…” I moaned out, trying to be good and keep my orgasm at bay. 

Nick pulled his kisses away from my lips and looked into my eyes keeping me captive. “Cum for me, Y/N.” 

Without another moment I felt myself shatter into a million pieces that seemed to be scattered across the room and hidden so well in every corner there would be no way Nick could ever put me back together again. Nick followed immediately after me, shouting my name to what seems like the rooftops, so much so that I envisioned Dorian at the bar smiling. 

Nick slumped against my shoulder, breathing hard into my neck and trailing kisses down it. “You were so good baby. So good.” He breathed. 

“That was amazing Nick.” I breathed, pulling on the cuffs again. “Now uncuff me so I can touch you baby.” 

Nick stopped his kisses and looked back into his eyes, that mischievous lust clouding those chocolate eyes again. He sighed, stroking down my body till he got to where we were still joined. “I’m sorry baby, but you agreed to tonight’s rules and the night is far from over.” He purred and clutched my hips. 

I let out a gasp as he pulled himself out only to turn me completely around until I was face down on the bed. The bar the cuffs could actually turn so he could have me either on my back or on my stomach and never have to detach the cuffs.

“Just relax baby and let’s have some fun.” He purred in my ear and lined himself to my entrance once again. 

[echodrops]

I just read your post about shipping and energy and I finished it with an interesting question in mind. A los of the examples you use to defend the theory the "tension" Or energy beetwen the characters have some Interactions that could be consider "Toxic" Así a relationship, but because of that tensión that just make more fans ship it. Emotions of jelaously, hate, self worth bla bla. I would like to know your opinión on Toxic relationships on shipping and the difference (1/2?)

And the difference of how people Accept it depending if the ship is Slash or het. Dont get me wrong. What I try to exploin in My crappy English is that sometimes I have seen shippers calling Toxic and unhealthy het ships (I can give you plenty of examples) but at the same time drowning in feelings about the exact same concept on Slash. It can be domination, bickering, power dinamics etc.   Please a dont send this ina negative context its just something I have notice (2/2)

No worries, I got you. I think your point is really valid and there are a lot of discrepancies in how people ship when it comes to het versus slash.

In this case, my answer to this has three different parts to it:

1) I am always very, very cautious about applying the term “toxic” to a fictional relationship because--and I am aware this is not a popular opinion to have on tumblr--I do see a clear distinction between fiction and reality. Can systemic, widespread efforts in media to normalize something have impacts on public perception? Sure. Japan’s thing for twelve-year-old girls in anime is fucked up, my dudes. But in terms of fictional relationships, would any sane person look at things like, say, a psychopathic villain and hero ship and go “Oh man, Sephiroth/Cloud is such relationship goals; can’t wait to find me a serial killer!”? “Yeah dude, I really hope my next girlfriend is a yandere who will stab me sixteen times in non-vital places for fun!” “I can’t wait to engage in armed combat with my evil boyfriend who has enslaved my best friends and won’t give them back unless I let the rest of the world perish!” ...said no real person ever. Lots of things happen in fiction that we--as readers and viewers--can fully appreciate would never be okay in the real world. (And yes, this does extend even to more realistic things like jealousy, bickering, bullying--I like Bakugou as a character, but I’d never be able to tolerate a person who acted like him in real life.) 

I wholeheartedly believe that, outside of illegal things which should obviously be reported, each person has responsibility only for their own fandom experience, and I highly encourage people to make full use of the blocking and filtering features available in fandom spaces to avoid any content that makes them feel uncomfortable or any ships they find to be unhealthy.

So: My opinion on toxic ships is that virtually any ship in this world could be perceived as toxic by someone, and that the alternative--a world in which the ONLY ships we’re allowed to write about or draw or even just like are those which are perfectly healthy pure pure love-fests--sounds horrible to me.

2) Very few people ship without an endgame in mind. I can’t think of anyone who looks at two characters who absolutely hate each other and thinks “Wow, I can’t wait to write a 100,000 word fic in which their relationship does not evolve in the slightest and they end the story hating each other exactly as much as they did on Day 1!” JK, maybe I can, I was in the Durarara fandom, after all. When people ship “toxic” relationships, it is almost always with the idea of character growth and change in mind--the idea is “They are not healthy for each other now, but the whole point of my story or art is that they’ll become healthy for each other over time.” The power of love can heallll peopleeee.

Are the characters jealous of each other now, aggressive toward each other now, enemies right now? Obviously in the shipper’s mind, these are challenges that can be overcome in time by the characters learning and developing into better versions of themselves. Perhaps this is an overly optimistic worldview that leads people to make bad choices in real life--awful people in real life rarely change as much for the better as characters in fiction are capable of changing, but that’s the beauty of fiction: it doesn’t show us people as they are, but people as we wish they could be. We want to believe that the toxic pair of characters can find common ground and heal each other. That the people who are jealous of each other will instead come to appreciate each other by the end. That the misunderstandings will be cleared up. That mistakes will be forgiven. People typically aren’t shipping a toxic ship because they love toxicity--they’re shipping that relationship specifically because they see potential beyond that tension.

We typically ship with “happily ever after” in mind, with the understanding that the life is too hard and people too flawed for that road to always be an easy one.

3) I think you are right that there is a discrepancy in the way that people view het ships and slash ships; namely, there is a discrepancy between the way het ships and mlm ships are viewed.

There are probably a lot of long and complicated sociological explanations for this that someone with more research in the field could explain better, but my first thought on this is that the discrepancy is based primarily on how fans understand male and female dynamics versus male and male dynamics.

For example, society is coded strongly to view a man who hits, dominates, or is aggressive to a woman as a very, very bad guy. (Perhaps this is something widespread media depictions have normalized?) Whereas “dude kicks another guy’s ass” has a whole different connotation in modern views. It is certainly a double standard, and part of the reason that so many male victims of abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence, etc. go ignored. Men are viewed as “too strong” to be victims; therefore, even many of the “wokest” fans can accept two male characters having a violent dynamic, when they would never accept that scenario between a male and female character.

That said, I think we also need to recognize that the way female characters are portrayed in media contributes to this problem. A preponderance of female characters in media are limited in what they can do and the situations they are allowed to engage in. As with BNHA, for example, “good” women are not allowed to be violent, jealous (other than over boys), aggressive, etc. Women are simply treated as not eligible for a wide variety of the dynamics that fictional men are written with. A male character having a superiority-inferiority complex over his also-male rival? Not surprising in the least. A male character having a superiority-inferiority complex over a female rival? Pshhh, yeah right. A female character bitterly jealous over a male character’s power, leadership, or skill? Surely she just admires his ability. Through a combination of misogyny and toxic masculinity, the stories themselves tell readers that unhealthy dynamics are commonplace and acceptable when they happen between two males, while “good” female characters should only be a source of healthy, supportive dynamics.

If we’re talking about unintended messages that writers send readers/viewers when it comes to character dynamics, this is definitely one of them!

tl;dr: Writers train their readers to expect and want certain things, but often do so carelessly or while unaware of the ways their own stereotypical societal views and cliche genre conventions will be taken and transformed by fandoms.

[trashyeggroll]

2, 15, 29, 36, 40, 63, 64, 66, 76 (can be any system not just PC), 81, 94, and 96. Why are you adding banking to the Post Office? Who's the nominee at this point without Joe; I'm not a fan of him just being the nod either but admit now I'll vote because I'm not into the behavior we've seen.

Hey rhanks anon!! 😇🤩😁

2. Have you ever faked an orgasm?

Oh heavens yes, but I don’t recommend it. You teach people bad habits that way and then you’re never gonna get off!

15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?

Specifically, beef pho with meatballs (phở tái bò viên)

29. Dumbest lie you ever told?

🤔🤔🤔 I’ve told a lot of bad ones but I guess once I told my parents I went to a football game (& went to make out in my gf’s Jeep instead) and I misunderstood what my friend reporting back said, so I said we lost when they were watching a news clip saying we won 🤪

36. What would you name your daughter/son?

We plan on having one (1) kid, and regardless of sex assigned at birth, their name is gonna be Emerson. We have to hurry bc my cousins are coming close, they’ve already had kids named Eleanor and Evelyn.

40. What was the last gift you gave?

For our upcoming anniversary, I got us one of those WiFi connected, standalone air filters that mrs t has wanted for awhile (given, y’know... five pets!)

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

I’ma combo these to reject the premise of a same/opposite sex to me, personally, and because I generally am irritated by the same root behaviors that reflect in different ways depending on socialization—

1. When the cishets get married and all of a sudden are very 😇 I am a GOD FEARING woman and OBEY MY HUSBAND (& worse when the husband is posting that shit about his wife)

2. People who act like having a kid is nbd and they don’t need to do any research or planning into doing a halfway decent job. I’m not talking about those who struggle with other oppressive issues like poverty, addiction etc, and I’m not saying you need to have access to classes and books and the best preschools—just, the baseline solidly stable people who seem so committed to passing on the emotionally abusive behaviors they learned from their parents w/o ever questioning it

3. Denim jeans with designs on the butt. I disagree with the lifestyle, but I’ll respect it if you’re into that 😉

66. How would you describe your bad side?

I’m a shutdown-er. Usually if I haven’t been sleeping enough or been bad with my meds, something smallish will set me off and I’ll spiral emotions and then just pull the failsafe switch when it gets too much. 😕 I’m working on it! Helps to practice identifying what’s caused the spiral and talk about it. Also to sleep 😴

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? (anon said any system!)

I have Xbox, PlayStation, and Switch systems, no gaming PC, but that spread pretty much covers everything 😌 The Mass Effect games are my all time faves but I also love Witcher 3 and RDR2!

81. How long have you been on Tumblr?

I have a secret trail of abandoned blogs going back to about 2009

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

Not really, not the way the kids watch YouTube, and I don’t know if he counts but—

96. What is the meaning of life?

I’m not religious and not even really that spiritual but have you ever sat around with a big group of people who love and support each other unconditionally, family or friends or comrades?

Why are you adding banking to the Post Office?

The unbanked and credit invisible population of the United States are shut out of services and access to funds for absolutely arbitrary reasons, and there’s no social safety net for that. There’s no way, other than money and time, for most people to enter the US financial system, much less begin to build wealth in the first place.

The USPS already has the physical presence throughout the United States to serve poor and unbanked people as a banking branch, and with government backing, they should offer zero fee, no credit check required checking accounts to everyone.

More on this here

Who’s the nominee right now without Joe?

Pie in the sky: Can I get, uhhhh, President Stacey Abrams, VPOTUS Julian Castro, Secretary of Treasury Warren, Secretary of Housing and Urban Devepment AOC

Reality: How about Joe drops out and either encourages the delegates to vote for his next choice, or for the 1st/2nd place from their state? I don’t think there’s a winning way to do this but Joe needs to Go. I’m sick of talking about Bidens and Clintons and if we had any real leadership in the “established” wing of the Democratic Party, he never would have run in the first place. Just different flavors of the same old rich white people in both parties and trying real hard to kill us all

[knight-intraining]

Gwen's guide to a more positive outlook

Let me start by saying that if you think "must be nice to be neurotypical Karen" - you need this post!! I have bipolar disorder and anxiety and it took me a long time to get here. But you can do it! Even with a mental illness screaming in your head that everything sucks.

These steps are in an “easy to implement” to “hard to implement” order. That doesn’t mean that you can’t change the order or take on multiple steps at once. However, long-term change doesn’t happen overnight: it helps to take on challenges in phases or steps. Then once one thing is a habit, you move on to the next thing. If you take on too many steps at once, you might get overwhelmed and give up.

Step one: Commit to the goal! You have to want it or it won't work.

Step two: Take any medicines/attend therapy. You can't do everything single-handedly.

Step three: Stop all self-deprecation! It's hard to be positive when you think you're worthless. (Here’s a post I made about how to do this: https://rising-phoenix-21.tumblr.com/post/170320454891/gwens-guide-to-loving-yourself) 

Step four: Challenge negative thoughts! Reply to things like "what if I die" with "that’s not going to happen". Something that helps me a lot is to say what is the worst thing that could happen, then what is the best thing that could happen, and finally what is most likely to happen.

Example: I have to go to an unfamiliar place and am very nervous about it. My anxiety is telling me everything that could go wrong and making it hard for me to actually go.

What is the worst that could happen? I do the wrong thing and everybody dies.

Okay, what is the best thing that could happen? I magically know everything to do and they think I'm the best person ever.

What is most likely to happen? Someone will be there to show me the ropes/tell me the rules and I can ask them any questions I have. I may make a mistake but they will be understanding because they know I'm new.

Other examples:

*remembers embarrassing thing and cringes forever* “I am the only person who remembers this, no one else does and therefore there is nothing to be embarrassed about”. Alternatively, "they are not going to remember that in (insert my opinion of how long it will take for them to forget) 30 seconds. *counts down from 30* see, they've already forgotten all about it and I can forget about it too" or "yes I made this mistake but I learned from it and it is in the past so I don't need to worry about it anymore".

*makes a mistake, worries everyone hates me for it* “It's okay, they know I'm new. This is a learning environment, everyone makes mistakes and they are expecting this”. Alternatively: “they never told me to do X and therefore there is no way I could have known and this is not my fault”. 

Step five: Accept when something bad happens. You are going to feel bad about it and that is okay. Let yourself feel the negative emotion until it has run its course. Having a positive outlook does not mean you're happy 24/7 and never cry. However, recognize that this feeling is not going to last forever, you will feel better, and things will get better. Saying it out loud may help.

It’s easy to start wallowing in a negative emotion and/or relapse when something bad happens. This is where your support network comes in! They will help keep you accountable and on the right path. When you are in a bad place, it also helps to look back at good memories and mementos.

Step six: Start writing down 1 (or more) good thing/s that happened or something you're thankful for everyday. Aim for everyday but if you end up only doing this once a week that's okay too. This one seems small but is seriously so important!! When you force yourself to think about something good that happened on a bad day it makes it Way easier to see the good on a regular basis.

Step seven is similar: Enjoy life! Take pleasure in the little things! Yes, sometimes things suck but it's hard to remember that when you're singing along to your favorite song with the windows down and a soda in your hand. Or cuddling with your dog or swimming or doodling your favorite character. When you're having a good day/good moment, take a second and just breathe. Think about how amazing you feel in this moment and how awesome life is.

Then when something tries to tell you that it's all bad, you can look back on that moment, on how amazing you felt and know that IT IS A LIE.

Keep mementos of the good days and the fun you have like photos/ticket stubs/birthday cards, etc.These also help with the bad days.

Step eight: Give yourself things to look forward to. Something that really helps me is picturing physical things about my future. Like I’ll picture what my classroom is going to look like or imagine what kind of Mom I’m going to be or what my wedding is going to look like. Sometimes the future is a big scary void and filling that void with something as small as “I’m going to have a dog” makes the future something to look forward to instead of fear. Doing this on a smaller scale is also helpful, “next weekend I’m going to see a movie”. You may not know where you’re going to be in the next year, but you know you’re going to see that movie and you can look forward to it.

Step nine: Remove negative media from your life! Is that song about your life before your recovery? Pitch it! You're not in that place anymore. If you're recovering from self-harm, all songs talking about harming yourself have to go! If you're a recovering alcoholic, all songs about heavy drinking have got to go! Those songs just put you back into that mindset, they mimic the bad place you were in and you don't want to be there anymore!!

If you are not in recovery, get rid of songs that have a negative message- "life sucks", "there's no hope", "things are never getting better". Is there a song that makes you think of your ex and it makes you sad? Say goodbye to it!

That isn't to say you can't ever listen to "sad" songs or songs that make you cry. The key is to not listen to those on a Regular Basis. Because then you're just making yourself sad on a regular basis, and what good is that?

Unfollow triggering blogs! Utilize Tumblr's filtering system! Renovate your dash so it's full of positivity/cute animals/recovery and inspiration/good news and not just the bad! This applies to all social media, not just Tumblr. (Facebook’s unfollow button is your new best friend). 

The same goes for TV/movies/books: if it is going to trigger you/make you feel bad/mimic a bad place you were in: get rid of it! Don't watch it!

This doesn’t mean you have to watch “family-friendly PG nothing bad ever happens” bullshit all the time. But you need to be in a good mental place for it. If you know you can handle it, watch it! But if it's going to just make you cry in a non-cathartic way, don't torture yourself.

And sometimes you consume media because you want catharsis you were robbed of in the moment and that is okay. As human beings, we tend to bury our emotions especially in traumatic situations. So re-visiting that place/that emotion in a safe way can be very good for recovery. The key is to not consume media that you know will upset you/ruin your day. And to not consume negative media 24/7.

Sometimes, this means that you don't watch the news, and that's okay! We were not made to or meant to consume negative events on such a large scale. You can only take in and deal with so much negative information! If you need to turn off the news, do it. If you need to take a break from social media, do it. Do what is best for your mental health. 

Step ten: Surround yourself with positivity! Refill your music collection with upbeat songs that make you wanna dance, that make you excited, that make you happy, etc. Try to listen to them often and early in your day. Put up inspirational quotes! Follow inspiration blogs! Consume lighter media that makes you laugh/makes you feel good.

Step eleven: Recognize when you need to step away from a situation. If something bad comes up but you know mentally/emotionally you can't deal with it right then. Say "I can't deal with this right now, I will do it later" and walk away. Obviously, this isn't possible all the time. But that's why you should do it whenever you can! Giving yourself time to prepare and time to process is super important! It helps your mental health and prevents you from making mistakes. Both of which make it easier to have a positive outlook lol. 

Step twelve: Reduce the conflict in your life. Conflict isn’t good for our mental health and it makes you feel bad. It also reinforces the idea that it’s “you against the world”, that there are no good people in the world, that no one understands you, etc. If you find yourself arguing with someone everyday, cut them out of your life-that is a toxic relationship. If you find yourself disagreeing with/getting angry at a blog, unfollow it. Anger is important and not necessarily a “bad” emotion but it also isn’t good to feel that way Every Single Day, it gets in the way of positive emotions. 

Step thirteen: Surround yourself with positive people/build a support network. Make friends who are “full of light”, who are optimistic, and who make you feel good when they’re around. Building a support network is super important for when bad things happen: they are there to remind you of the good and to keep you on track in your recovery and in your new positive outlook.

Step fourteen: Remove negative people from your life. When I say "negative people" I mean someone toxic, someone who brings your mood down (on a regular basis), someone who can never see things in a positive way/everything is doom and gloom, and someone whose behavior triggers you(!!). This is a really tough one because, quite frankly, you don’t always get to choose who you interact with and breaking ties is hard.

If you HAVE to interact with this person: try to limit your time with them, keep your mind on positive things even if they're talking about negative stuff (you may even try to steer them in a positive direction), and cleanse your aura after they leave AKA if you feel "gross" after interacting with them, do whatever will get rid of that feeling, whether it be prayer or a crystal or a shower. 

How to break ties with someone? What I usually do is ghost them, whether that is the best/healthiest method is up for debate. If they call you out or you don't want to ghost, just tell them "you're a very negative person and I just can’t be around that. I'm sorry but I have to do what's best for my mental health". If they can't/won't understand that, block them. That's their problem, not yours. I know this sounds selfish and rude but it's true: you have to do what's best for your mental health. You have to be “selfish” sometimes.

Step fifteen: Keep making goals to improve your life! Having a positive outlook is just one of many things that will make your life better. Improving your physical health will make you feel good, reading more books will make you feel good, reaching your goals makes you feel good! The better you feel, the easier it is to feel good about life.

Step sixteen: Repeat the above! You are forming a new habit here and re-training your brain. It isn't enough to just do this for one day or one week. You have to commit to having more positivity in your life. And when you're surrounded by bad news, it's easy to fall back on a hopeless outlook. When your brain is telling you that it's hopeless, it's easy to believe it. But one day, you will get to a place where it isn't as hard. One day, something bad will happen and it won't sting as much because you know that the pain won't last forever and that it’ll get better. This can and will become your new normal. 

[daisy-oreilly-fti]

An In Depth Analysis on Articles 13 and 11 - Part 1

This is going to be the first in a series of posts attempting to shed some light on the potentially disastrous implications of the new EU Copyright Directive articles 11 and 13.

Unfortunately, these laws have so many implications that I can’t actually put everything into a single post and still keep it somewhat structured, so I’m going to break it up.

The biggest problem with article 13, you see, is how incredibly vague it is. There are things we know for certain it will do, and things which it might or might not do. Article 11 suffers from the same problem, to a lesser extent, but I’ll go into specifics separately.

I’ll deal with article 13 for now, as that one holds a host of problems.

The immediate and clear effects it will have on hos the internet works as of now.

Ways it can and will clash with previously established freedoms and render them null.

Repercussions of painfully vague wording and things it might or might not affect.

As people have been saying up and down, the point to this article is to basically force every website that ‘allows users to post  text, sounds, code, still or moving images, or other copyrighted works for public consumption’ to implement filters to automatically veto any and all content that users try to post for copyrighted material.

The definition of copyrighted material in this situation is a problem in and of itself, but I’ll delve deeper into that in the next post of this series. For now, I’ll deal with the internet as a whole.

You see, what the article is trying to force is the biggest threat to the internet as we know it.

“Information society service providers that store and provide to the public access to large amounts of works or other subject-matter uploaded by their users”

This is the wording the article uses. Basically, any website that admits user-generated content becomes responsible as the provider of said content. Forcing every website in existence to become responsible for the content that users upload, instead of the other way around, will force the entire business model that these sites have adopted for years now to completely turn on its head. That combined with the investments needed to put in place filtering systems that will be able to sort through not only video and audio, but any photographs, text, and any type of possible content, means that many smaller platforms might simply not be able to hold up financially and have to shut down.

Creating new platforms will also become an option which just won’t be viable for many, for the investments that would be needed. Already, this is a threat to the internet as we know it, making it harder for spaces where people can share content and information to exist.

Beyond that, there’s an issue that needs to be faced. If websites will be held directly responsible and punishable by law for the content that users upload, they’d be hard pressed to stay on the side of caution. If there’s even the slightest ambiguity about whether or not something is an infringement, websites will have to err on the side of caution and get rid of the content. This might sound harsh, but it’s a hard truth. Works which should not be deleted, will be deleted, in an effort to ensure that nothing slips through the cracks.

Taking this a step further, the word ‘hosting’ could be taken to mean that this is applicable to not only platforms like Google, Facebook, ao3, tumblr, Deviantart and others, but even storage servers like cloud and google drive could fall under this blanket term.

TL;DR: Fewer websites allowing less content means a huge decrease in possibilities for user-generated content, of any type.

Do you want to know the worst part, though? The grossest repercussion of this article they’re trying to pass?

This means a continent-wide surveillance system that governments and huge corporations can use to monitor and control any and all online activity of the citizens.

These filters need to be in use by any and all websites, and their job is ultimately to read through every bit of content that goes through a platform. There is nothing that will be left untouched.

And this comes on the tail of the GDPR legislation (privacy laws) which is supposed to protect the personal information of citizens from being used by any company or corporation - personal information which includes names, ID information, phone numbers, where you live, email address, etc.

But not online activity.

So, yeah. This law is gross and horrible, but I haven’t even scratched the surface yet.

I’m going to let y’all chew on this for a bit. I’ll have two more individual posts at least:

- on how the ambiguity of the wording will cause it to affect works it should not and infringe on previous Fair Use laws (how exactly it might or might not affect fan content like fanfiction and fanart)

- as well as how automatic filtering machines are shit and will cause a huge loss of content for the internet (and how that in turn might affect fandom culture)

As well as a separate one on article 11 which is another dumpsterfire entirely, which is aimed to control the type of information we have access to until they’re able to control what the public believes by controlling what we get to see online.

These next posts will more clearly accentuate the reason why I’m trying to push for a preventive movement in creating mailing lists in order to share content and information more freely in the eventuality that these laws pass.

Resources:

The body of the law (scroll down to chapter 2, article 13): 

https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/HTML/?uri=CELEX:52016PC0593&from=EN

Websites will become legally responsible for the content we upload:

https://gizmodo.com/the-end-of-all-thats-good-and-pure-about-the-internet-1826963763

https://gizmodo.com/the-founding-fathers-of-the-internet-plead-with-eu-to-s-1826792360

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2018/06/eus-copyright-proposal-extremely-bad-news-everyone-even-especially-wikipedia 

(this one in particular will be more relevant in one of the next posts, but I’m not going to stop you from reading ahead)

Effects of ambiguity, surveillance, and the loss of legal content for the safety of responsible websites:

http://copyright4creativity.eu/c4cs-fact-sheets-on-the-eu-copyright-reform/

(Their entire spreadsheet on article 13 is very thorough and tries to explain every possible repercussion while quoting the proper text of the law (which I’ve linked above) so feel free to study this in depth explanation and run it by the text of the law. Have fun!)

[xseedgames]

Zwei: The Arges Adventure - Localization Blog #1

AAAAAAHHHHH IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING.

I’ve been working on this game for the better part of a year now, but have been unable to say anything about it for PR reasons – namely, that it wasn’t in a showable state, and we didn’t want to confuse prospective players by having two Zwei games announced but unreleased at the same time. Which is totally reasonable, but AAAAAAAHHHH I’VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THIS GAME SO BADLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

…Ahem. First off, I guess I should bring you all up to speed, in case you missed the announcement. Falcom’s 2001 PC classic Zwei!! is coming to the Western world via Steam, GOG, and The Humble Store in early 2018, under the name Zwei: The Arges Adventure. Why the name change? Well, because we already released its 2008 sequel, Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection (which was originally called Zwei II: Sky-High Great Adventure in Japan).

That’s right. Localization work wrapped on the sequel first, and now we’re finishing things up with the original.

What are we thinking?!, you must be asking yourselves. Why would we release the sequel first, then go back and release the original? Why wouldn’t we release the original game first? And since we’ve already released the more modern second entry in the series from seven years later, can this earlier effort really hold its own by comparison? 

Well, that’s why I’m so excited. Because Zwei: The Arges Adventure is good. REALLY good. In fact, I dare say it’s my favorite translation I’ve ever worked on to date – yes, even topping Return to PopoloCrois and Corpse Party. And if you’re at all familiar with me (this is Tom, BTW), that statement alone should tell you that Zwei: AA is something special, since PopoloCrois and Corpse Party are… shall we say, perennial favorites of mine. To put it very lightly.

So, yeah. Let’s address those hypothetical questions, shall we?

Why would we release the sequel before the original? Well, two reasons. One, because we can – these games each tell standalone stories, set on different floating continents with different casts of characters. Zwei: AA’s two protagonists, Pipiro and Pokkle, do make a few cameo appearances in Zwei: II, but this is done almost purely for the sake of fanservice (the literal kind, not the naughty kind). When all is said and done, these two games are completely standalone, taking place in the same world but telling very different stories with very different characters and a very different feel. Think of it kind of like the Ys series, but even more episodic (since, Ys Origin aside, Ys has the Adol-as-protagonist connection from one game to the next, whereas Zwei doesn’t even have that!).

The other reason is because of the nature of Zwei: AA’s code. The Japanese version of this game utilized DirectX 5, was formatted strictly for 4:3 resolution with no widescreen options whatsoever, offered a lovely FPS selection of 30 or 15 (seriously!), counted on players to play it with mouse and keyboard over gamepad (it supported gamepads, but… barely), and contained no fewer than six unlockable Windows desktop apps that were loosely tied to yet completely separate from the main game.

This is one of them. And that first screenshot at the beginning of this blog entry is another.

In other words… this is the kind of adaptive coding project that’s been known to give lesser programmers heart attacks. Getting a game like this to even run on a modern Windows machine at all – much less run WELL – was decidedly not a task for the meek. In fact, it’s because of the way this game is coded that we ultimately decided to translate the game in-house rather than working with any fan-translators as we did for Zwei: II, as no two programmers would handle this text the same way – and trying to convert a fan-translated script to a format that would work for us would’ve taken almost as long as translating the game from scratch.

So, yeah. Getting Zwei: II out first was pretty much just done because… erm… it was ready first. And it was always GOING to be ready first. Even with a lengthy QA process and a couple minor delays, it still inevitably got finished long before its predecessor was ready to make its debut.

Fortunately, we hired a veteran programmer to work with us on Zwei: AA… but you’ll never guess who! It wasn’t Sara, since she was busy getting Zwei: II ready at the time (and a fine job she did of it, with one of our smoothest PC launches ever!). But this wasn’t our first time working with the guy we worked with on this project, either. It was, however, our first time working with him to modernize someone else’s game – and he really did perform some miracles for us (and put up with my many, many demands for quality-of-life improvements and feature additions, to boot!).

The man in question? Matt Fielding, of Magnetic Realms. A.k.a. the guy who brought you the game Exile’s End. 

Pictured: Exile’s End. Which is also an awesome game you should play!

And thanks to his technical wizardry, you guys are going to have an astoundingly up-to-date version of Zwei!! on your hands at launch. We’re talking more than just widescreen support here – there’s full in-game integration of the Pet Monitor and other desktop apps, new control functionality for more natural gamepad support across the board, inclusion of the arranged soundtrack from the Japan-only PSP version of the game, additional art and text content not present in any previous version of the game, and much, much more (to be detailed in future blog entries!).

Moving on to the second question I asked, with Zwei: II already out, can Zwei: AA hold its own by comparison?

I think you know what my answer’s going to be, on that one. Zwei: The Arges Adventure is a freaking awesome game with a lot to offer, and differs from its own successor in enough key areas that it can very easily hold its own any day of the week. Hell, you might even like it better than Zwei: II – it’s certainly a very close call for me, but I’d say Zwei: AA gets the slight edge! 

Sure, they’re both dungeon-crawling action RPGs at their core, and they both use food to level-up, even sharing the same food exchange system to discourage grinding. And the two-character party (plus one pet), with one character taking the role of physical attacker while the other slings spells, takes center stage in both titles as well. Plus, both games are set on floating continents in the same world.

That’s a lot of similarities, but they’re all relatively superficial. You could say Zwei: AA is like the 2D answer to Zwei: II’s 3D world, but that would be discounting its snarkier and more tongue-in-cheek storyline (yes, even more than Zwei: II’s!), or the gorgeous and ludicrously colorful hand-drawn backgrounds, or the two games’ very different approaches to pets (you only get one pet in Zwei: AA as opposed to the veritable army of pets featured in Zwei: II, but that one dog or cat [or other?] has significantly more personality and gameplay involvement than its many Zwei: II counterparts), or the huge variety of minigames on offer (all of which have been adapted to play from within the game itself, despite formerly existing only as desktop apps)… and that’s just scratching the surface. In short, although the two games use the same basic template, they represent two very different approaches to game design within the confines of that template.

For me as Zwei: AA’s translator, though, I can’t help but laser-focus right on the game’s dialogue. Protagonist duo Pipiro and Pokkle are without a doubt the best pair to write that somebody like me could ever ask for. Pokkle constantly cracks bad puns (and I do mean constantly!), wears a tail for funsies, and is always hitting on women twice his age.

And Pipiro just has absolutely no filter whatsoever, and is full of so much snark that she’s fit to burst.

Practically every line out of these two is an absolute gem – and that’s to say nothing of the many quirky NPCs surrounding them over the course of their rather lengthy quest (such as the endlessly self-delusional “libertine fatass” that’s funding your adventure, and his extremely no-nonsense maid who gave him that nickname).

I… really can’t stress enough how much fun it was to write for these characters, and how inspired I was to come up with the perfect phrasing for every line. I’m extremely appreciative that we chose to translate the game in-house, as it gave me an opportunity to work much more deeply with this script than I ever could’ve if we’d only been tasked with editing it. As time went on, I found myself revising my work on a daily basis, making small tweaks here and there as new bits of wordplay or better puns popped into my head (much to Matt’s chagrin, I’m sure!). The end result is something that I can stand behind as a faithful interpretation of the game’s mood and intent – an attempt to convey the same degree of lighthearted fun and irreverence present in every line of the Japanese script, but formatted to sound more natural in English, accounting for context, tone, atmosphere, and individual character quirks rather than just hammering out a word-for-word translation.

I’ve never laughed so hard while playing a JRPG before, and I truly hope that when you guys play this one in English, you’ll find its English interpretation just as hilarious as I found its original Japanese to be. That would mean I succeeded at what I set out to do, and would bring me great joy and pride as a localizer!

And please do keep an eye on this Tumblr, as I fully intend to give lots more info about Zwei: The Arges Adventure (and more screenshots showing off lines I’m particularly proud of) in the weeks to come!

Until then, I hope you’re all continuing to enjoy Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection, and… well, I’mma go back to testin’ Zwei: The Arges Adventure now, ‘cause I want this game to be downright perfect when it’s released! And with translation and editing 100% complete, and coding probably somewhere in the 70-80% done range, that release date will be here before you know it…

[sunnybimbo]

!!! i wrote this for my buddiest best of buds, @kurosakiami01​ and so i figured hey,,,, why not post it on tumblr also???? (we all know im a slut for attention)

so have this!

tw for lots of injuries, a brief panic attack, allura getting drugged, electrocution? ask to tag anything else!! its not as bad as it sounds!!!!

Pairing: Keith/Lance/Hunk

Summary: Team Voltron heads out for a peace talk, and Hunk ends up getting very hurt. Lance is beside himself, but he can always count on Keith to lean on.

Read it on AO3 here!

It’s one of those usual, boring, diplomatic days. Allura was trying to spread the good word that was Voltron, and it’s quest to defeat evil. Well, actually, the team had gotten a hail from a nearby planet. Inupra, it was called. A large planet, almost the size of the sun (the one that Earth orbited, that is), with exactly seven humanoid species and over a thousand microbiotic specimens.

At least, that’s what Pidge found out with a quick scan. Lance couldn’t care less about the composition of the soil, which Pidge had gone on a long spiel about. He was more concerned with whether or not he was allowed to stay inside to take a nap.

Spoiler: He wasn’t.

And so he sat stubbornly at the base of a tree, watching as Allura sucked up to the diplomats that were sent to complete the treaty. They had frog-like features and long bodies that towered over the humans like streetlights. Their skin was bumpy, like braille, and they ranged from purple to grey in color, but they all had friendly smiles. Friendly, toothless smiles.

Instead of schmoozing with the locals, Shiro and Keith had decided to wander around and  “scout the area”. In reality, they were just bonding. Nothing wrong with that.

Pidge was somewhere near the Green Lion, trying to reverse engineer the Inuprian’s hailing system. And Hunk was probably there, too, pulling Pidge back when the aliens got too overwhelmed by the tiny paladin’s excitement. Or maybe even hyping her up.

And Coran, as usual, was doing whatever it was he did all day on the ship. Repairing something? Or maybe trying to think of new recipes to experiment on. Probably something that was just as boring as the rest of the aforementioned activities.

That left Lance alone, with hard bark at his back and soft grass (or it’s space-equivalent) at his feet. Surely, with everyone so busy with their own things, he could take a super short nap? They’d hardly notice if he just… drifted right off…

“Lance!” Allura’s voice pierced through the peaceful silence and he hopped up, head nearly hitting a low-hanging branch.

As he began stuttering out excuses, the Inuprians set out a feast for the heroes. They enlisted the help of Hunk and Shiro for the heavy lifting, but the two boys didn’t complain. Honestly, they were just amazed at the size of the bird they had cooked. It was almost as large as Voltron’s foot.

It took nearly twenty minutes to set out the dishes, and another ten to arrange the seating. Allura at the head, two diplomatic ambassadors on either side of her, and the paladins taking up the rest of the seats.

Allura cleared her throat, lifting a goblet to make a quick toast. “Thank you, our new allies, for agreeing to join us in our journey to defeat Zarkon and his Galra Empire. Together we will be able to defeat him and finally be at peace.” With a nod and a smile, she took a small sip from the golden goblet.

Everyone followed her example, and then the feast began in earnest.

“Princesses first.” Lance teased, passing a plate of some sort of soup in Allura’s direction. Allura, however, didn’t pick up the tone and instead perked up.

“My, Lance! It seems you do have manners.”

Pidge’s laugh echoed in her already emptied goblet. Lance pouted, flicking a pea (which apparently was a universal vegetable) at the caramel-colored hair across from him. Before Pidge could retaliate with some pink mashed potatoes, Shiro’s hand was slamming down on the table between them.

“Chill out, kiddos.” Hunk spoke up, passing a full plate to the both of them. “The Inuprians worked real hard on this feast. I’d like to not be banned from returning until after I pick up some groceries.”

“Yes, mom.” Lance pouted, picking at his avian dish, resting his head against the palm of his hand. He didn’t, however, stop poking at Pidge’s shin guard with his foot. Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose, throwing pointed looks at both of them while simultaneously trying to keep a conversation going with a nearby alien host.

The two paladins were just about to take their plates and dump them on each other when a concerned voice cut through the amicable chatter.

“Princess?”

Hunk, Lance, Pidge, and Shiro turned to Keith, who was holding said royalty steady as she teetered in her seat, head nearly falling into her plate. She trembled a bit, and swayed to the other side. Shiro, however, was there to catch her and gently lay her in the grass.

“Allura?” He waved his hand in front of her unfocused eyes, snapping his fingers. She couldn’t seem to concentrate, and her body was limp in his hold.

“Coran, something’s wrong with the princess.” Keith spoke into his communicator as the rest of the paladins crowded around.

“What’s the problem?” Coran’s voice filtered through all of their helmets.

“Maybe it’s an allergic reaction?” Hunk frowned, feeling for her pulse. Before Coran could respond, a weapon fired above their heads and hit an ambassador in the shoulder, knocking them from their seat and pulling the tablecloth with them.

Someone screamed, and the paladins scrambled into action. Shiro lifted the princess to his chest and took off in a sprint towards their lions, Keith right behind him.

Pidge gets hit once, a darkened tint over the white armor. The green paladin took it in stride, with only a grunt and an extra burst of speed as response.

Hunk and Lance, on the other hand, got caught in the crossfire. Lance immediately calls forth his blaster, aiming at the heavily shielded combatants that approached.

“They’re not Galra!” He shouted, diving for cover behind the upturned table and shooting covering fire as Hunk dropped beside him, his own gun materializing not seconds later.

“The translator is picking up parts of their language. It seems to be a protest?” Pidge spoke up. “Someone must not want to join our Alliance.”

“How’s the Princess?” Lance asked, firing two shots blindly as their heads were showered in splintered wood from their hiding spot. Of course the attackers came prepared, with shields, guns, and even explosives.

Speaking of, a grenade-type plopped right between the yellow and blue paladins and they scrambled out of the way. Hunk dashed right, firing his cannon to cover Lance’s escape. He didn’t notice as a group of the assailants cut him off until they were two steps ahead of him, tackling him to the ground.

“Hunk!” Lance cried, ducking behind a tree just as the grenade exploded.

The yellow paladin’s ears were ringing as the enemy Inuprians grabbed him with clammy, amphibious hands and flipped him onto his stomach. He heard the alarming sound of electricity near his ear before he felt it coursing through his veins.

They struggled to lift him while he was stunned, but they were so tiny compared to him, skinny arms more suited for programming bots than benchpressing something twice their size. Even with the group crowding him, they weren’t able to lift him very far.

For which, Hunk was thankful. Once he’d forced the air that had gotten stuck in his throat when they tased him back down, he was more than prepared to throw them off and into a few conveniently placed trenches.

“Hunk!” Lance screamed again, voice echoing through his malfunctioning communicator. “Come on, dude!”

Hunk grunted, rolling a shoulder. It would probably be bruised, but he would live. He conducted a brief once over of himself as he ducked and dove from the enemy retaliation, narrowly escaping another grenade. “On my way!”

Something else crackled through his busted helmet, but he couldn’t make out the words. It might’ve been Pidge?

Luckily, his lion wasn’t that far off. Near the Green Lion sat Yellow, hunched over and tense. Or, as tense as a machine can look. Hunk was grateful that the barrier easily dissipated and he slipped in without a hitch.

Once inside, he brought up the Lion-to-Lion communicator instead and tossed his helmet off to the side. A total safety hazard, but his ears were still ringing from the explosions and the static constantly crackling in his ears was not helping.

“Did everyone get away?” He asked as his Lion quickly powered up and took off, trailing just a few hundred feet from the Blue Lion.

“We’re all good.” Keith breathed heavily, and his picture popped up in Hunk’s peripherals as he checked Yellow’s power. “Shiro, how’s the Princess?”

There was a shuffling noise before Shiro popped up next. Pidge and Lance quickly joined in soon after. “She’s… still asleep, but she’s alive.” His voice was a bit shaky, and Hunk instantly saw how much everyone’s demeanor changed. They all tensed, gripping their controls like stress balls.

“Hangars are open. A diagnostic for the Princess is being set up. How much longer until you all reach the Castle?” Coran questioned, a flurry of beeps and boops of him furiously commanding the castle trickling in the background.

“Should be just a few minutes.” Shiro turned to glance back at Allura, who was leaning heavily against the wall, head lolling with the slightest movement.

“Watch out!” A voice cut through, too loud to really discern the speaker.

Red rammed into Black, and they swerved away just as a bright beam of light shot at their quickly vacated space. Allura mumbled nonsense as her body slid across the floor, but she was unhurt from the spin.

“Thanks.” Shiro breathed, and Keith nodded at him on the video feed. He slipped into a formation with the other four lions, leading as always, with Keith and Pidge to his right and Hunk and Lance to his left.

“Incoming!” Lance called, dodging out of the way. Another beam shot and deflected off of the Castle’s shields.

They weren’t expecting another shot to immediately follow, catching the Blue Lion by the tail and pulling her down. Lance squealed, and his video flickered from the interference. Not only that, but Blue’s exterior lit up like she was being electrocuted.

“They sure do love tazing.” Hunk grumbled, before calling out a worried, “Lance!” and charging into the line of fire.

He rammed head first into the underbelly of the Blue Lion, sending her hurtling back into open space and taking her place. The beam then wrapped around Yellow and began to tug the Lion and its paladin back down to the planet’s surface. Electricity surged through the controls, stinging Hunk’s hands.

His safety belt malfunctioned from the current, and he was slammed backwards out of the seat, head hitting a side panel and frying his head.

“It’s one of those beast things!” Pidge called, doubling back with Keith and Lance to help Hunk.

And a beast it was. It was huge, almost rivaling the Castle of Lion’s immense size. A thin blanket of some type of fur covered it’s skin, which had been interlaced with wires and machinery. A single eye seemed to be locked onto all five Lions at once.

From inside the Yellow Lion, dozens of alarms were going off. Hunk groaned, rubbing his neck. It would bruise, but he was just glad it wasn’t broken.

“Ugh… Whuh… Yellow!” He slurred, shoving his body up from the floor and collapsing over the consoles. His hands shook slightly as he read over the damages, and he couldn’t make himself do anything but stare as more and more popped up.

“--unk! Resp--d!” Voices fizzed through the speakers of his helmet, sitting sadly in the corner of his Lion, like a soda that had been shaken before being opened.

He grunted as his Lion shook violently, collapsing into his seat. “‘m here, guys.” He murmured. Then he coughed, and spoke up.

“I’m here.” He tried again, pulling up the videos once more and rolling his shoulders. He would definitely have to treat Yellow to some special bonding time after this.

Lance looked visibly relieved. “We’re coming to get you, bud. Just sit tight, yeah?”

“Or try to not get sucked down there. We don’t want that thing plus the Inuprians attacking us.” Pidge spoke up.

“Yeah. On it.” Hunk grunted, grabbing for his helmet and tugging it back on for safety, only pausing to wipe at the streak of blood coming from his nose. He must have banged it when he flew out of his seat. The red was startling against the yellow and white of his armor, but he didn’t have time to dwell on the poetry of color theory.

Yellow’s engines stuttered as he pushed against the current pulling him down.

The lasso'd electricity wrapped even tighter around Yellow's sides, crushing in. If she had lungs, she'd be in big trouble. Not to say, of course, that either she or Hunk were having the time of their lives at the moment.

Her armor began to buckle, and Hunk didn't even want to think about what would have happened if Lance and Blue had been caught instead. In this situation, it was best that the one with the most armor was trapped like this, so the ones with firepower could get him out.

As he’s pulled down lower and lower— Yellow sucking in on herself like a black hole— the robeast cuts fully through the atmosphere. The clouds cling to it, as if trying to hold it down, but ultimately it pushes through.

It... was very similar to one of the first robeasts they'd ever faced. It's singular eye rotated completely around its head, but the body seemed to have been replaced with an actual engine. It must be fast, then.

The body rotated (creepily enough, the head stayed facing straight) and the electric rope yanked Hunk closer. The current let up for just a moment, allowing him to breathe in the metallic tang of his own blood, and he choked on his cough as pain ruptured through his arm. And, upon closer inspection, he was having major trouble even trying to twist his wrist. Oh boy.

The hairy, creepy, spinny robeast jerks itself closer, and there is a faint, high-pitched sound of something being powered up, audible even in the empty void of space. That was the only warning they had before it shot again, at an encroaching Pidge that had tried to sneak up behind it.

Hunk, the darling, does try his best to help his friends. He tries to wiggle his controls this way and that to escape the hold, he tries to stop his nose from bleeding any further into his mouth, and he even tries to comfort the distressed Yellow in the back of his mind. He did not want to think about how much she must be hurting being wrapped so tight like that. Not one bit.

Around him, his team's voices filtered in one ear and out the other as they made and executed their plan.

First, Keith distracted the beast by being the biggest threat while Shiro dropped Allura off in the castle, out of harm's way. He fired everything he had on it, and it chased him like an agitated cat.

Yellow had begun to get tugged along with the pursuit, but he was quickly cut free by both Lance and Shiro. The rope was frozen by Blue's ice beam, and Shiro flashed by to cut it with Black's jawblade.

Yellow drifted, and Hunk didn't have the strength to try to move away. Instead, he sagged against the controls, timing his breathing with his erupting heartbeat, loud in his ears. It had long since drowned out the other voices, and the only thing that kept him from panicking was Yellow's presence.

Outside, though, his team was doing just fine. Even without Voltron, they were quickly overpowering the creature. It must have been built solely on speed, because even just ramming into it sent it spiraling out of control.

Pidge was the one to finish it. It was lured close by Keith, and Pidge burst out of invisibility to shoot as many times as she could, directly in its face.

Once one beam pierced, the remaining dozen easily cut through as well. It trembled and erupted into a satisfying ball of fire, and the team high-tailed it out of there as fast as they could.

The Black Lion latched onto the severely damaged Yellow, tugging her back home while the Green and Red help support the less broken, but still very much so voltaic Blue Lion.

Once they are safely nestled in their hangar, Coran flies them as far away as they can get without Allura's power teleporting them. Yellow is unable to support herself, and has to flop uselessly on her side in order to begin repairing herself.

Hunk, inside, is hardly doing better. He felt so tired, but he knew, out of everything learned from the medical classes forced on them by the Garrison, one with severe injuries should never be allowed to fall asleep. Or something like that.

So, he forced himself out of his chair to lean heavily against the walls of his Lion. He tears off his helmet to swipe away the remaining blood coating his lip with his uninjured hand.

That's how Lance bursts in on him. Blood across the front of his suit— which really looked much worse than it was— , an unnaturally held arm— which barely even hurt anymore!— and tears in his eyes. Those he had no excuse for, other than the fact that he'd been absolutely terrified about everything that had just happened to them.

Lance leads him out, chattering at him a mile a minute as he fussed with the blood, and Shiro quickly comes to help them down the ramp as Hunk teeters dangerously to the side, listing where he stood like a broken boat in the middle of the ocean.

The team huddles around him, but still they stay far enough away to give him space to find his footing. It's almost like a halo of worry around him, and Hunk cracks them a smile. "I'm okay guys."

Keith inhales sharply, ready to tear Hunk a new one until Shiro catches his attention with a quick motion, silencing him just like that.

Shiro and Lance support Hunk on the way to the medbay, where they're intercepted by Coran halfway down the hall.

They reach the destination faster than Hunk could remember them ever doing— or maybe he'd blacked out a bit halfway there— and he is quickly stripped down to pinpoint his exact injuries.

Upon peeling the suit from Hunk's hands, Lance jerks back with a hiss. The skin there was raw, white and black and red all at once, and Lance could swear it was even still smoking, as if the energy was still coursing through Hunk's veins and singeing him from the inside out.

Lance steps away to settle his suddenly disturbed stomach, and Pidge offers him a comforting pat on the shoulder with one hand as she set up the pod with the other.

The others stayed relatively quiet and uneased until the time comes to place him in the pod. They gathered around him in an anxious semi-circle as the pod opened, releasing a flood of chilly smoke.

They'd gotten half of his limp body in the pod when he began to struggle.

"Wait, I—" He grunted, nearly breaking free of Coran's grip when Shiro grabbed his other side. Even with the two of them grappling at his shoulders, he was making a heavy headway breaking out of their grips. It took the combined efforts of both of them, plus Pidge's extra hands to push him completely in. The entire time, they tried to console the upset paladin, who had sobbed harder and harder the further in he was pushed, shaking like a autumn leaf in the middle of a rainstorm.

Lance's heart leapt to his throat. "He's... he's having a panic attack." He whispered. Then, louder, "He's panicking! Give him a little space, guys." He shoved his hands between the three and, in his haste, nearly tripped all of them over.

He would worry about the scolding he'd get later. For now, he turned all of his focus on Hunk and grabbed his shoulders, squeezing them tight. "It's gonna be fine, big guy. You won't even realize you were in there until we pull you out, okay?"

"I realize now." Hunk whimpered, and he was about two seconds from hyperventilating.

Lance shushed him, pressing a kiss against Hunk’s few uninjured knuckles. "It'll be over before you know it. We won't let anything else hurt you, yeah? I know you trust me, Hunky hunk. Yeah?"

Hunk hesitated for half a second before he nodded his head, sagging against Lance. He grunted as he bore most of the weight of his friend, but slowly ambled him back into the pod with the quick help of the others.

"I'll be right here when you wake up, and then we can go and do whatever you want, okay?"

Hunk mumbled an affirmation, and Lance stroked his thumbs across Hunk's eyes, wiping away the tears that clumped his eyelashes.

"See you in a tick."

Lance stepped back, pulling Keith along with him to let the pod shut securely and fill with whatever cold magic it had stored inside. He watched as Hunk got in one last good shudder before he was knocked out and set on the fast-track to Cure Town.

He can't seem to stop his shaking hands, and he pointedly ignores any looks his friends pass his way, no matter how worried they were.

Shiro walks past, placing his hand over Lance's head as he does. "Take some time to settle, you three."

Immediately, Lance shakes his head, accidentally jarring Shiro's hand from there. "I'm staying here. With Hunk."

A familiar red suit pops up next to him, and Keith nods his head. "Me, too."

Shiro's eyebrows pop up in surprise, but he doesn't deny them their request. "Alright, then."

His succeeding words get lost in the back of Lance's brain as he squeezes his hands tightly against his chest. Partly to stop them from shaking, but mostly to give him something else to focus on, so he doesn't burst out crying in front of everyone.

Shiro eventually leaves, though, with one last encouraging pat to his (and Keith's) shoulders. Pidge stays a bit longer, with Coran, to figure out when exactly Hunk would be exiting his cold prison.

They leave when Keith can't seem to stand it anymore, and holds out his hand for Lance to hold. It was a sudden, uncharacteristic gesture for them, but Coran and Pidge knew private moments when they saw it. Quietly, they left the boys to themselves.

They held hands until Hunk's pale color returned to its natural, beautifully brown hue.

 ---

 Hours later found the two in nearly the same position. Instead of standing, they sit back to back in front of the pod. Lance idly sips on a water pouch, and Keith fiddles with Altean weights. Their hands are still firmly tangled together, resting against the cold floor.

Once Keith jostles Lance for the umpteenth time that hour by switching weights, the blue paladin groans into the empty room.

"Stop it. You're gonna be so sweaty by the time he gets out."

Keith snorts at him, and Lance shakes his shoulder to throw him off balance. "I'm serious! Sweaty group hugs are gross."

"I'll go change, then."

"What— in like, the three seconds it takes for the pod to open?"

They bickered with each other until they both were red in the face, moving from sitting to standing to turning away from each other out of frustration. They didn’t hold hands again until the next hour, when Keith leaned over to lean against Lance’s shoulder and swiped at his eyes, almost furious at the way tears welled up in them. The two of them murmured soft apologies, just before they fell asleep.

 ---

 Halfway through Hunk’s healing cycle, the doors to the medbay open, and a perfectly fine, if not a bit groggy, Allura poked her head in.

She offered them soft smiles, stepping in fully as the two woke themselves up. “I was told I would find you both in here.”

“Couldn’t just leavy Hunk all alone.” Lance offered with a shrug of his shoulders. “He’d hate that.”

Allura wordlessly hummed, smoothing out her skirts to join them on the stairs, sitting on the free side of a yawning Keith.

For a moment, silence echoed around them. Not necessarily awkward, but very noticeable.

Then, Lance perked up, turning towards Allura. “We’re glad to see you’re alright, princess. No side effects from whatever they drugged you with?”

“Nothing but heavy limbs and a slight headache.” She promised. “Coran suggested I stay in bed, but…”

“You wanted to check on Hunk?”

She sent him a teasing smile. “He is my favorite paladin.”

Lance put a hand over his heart, obviously not offended at the statement even if he pretended. Hunk was everyone’s favorite paladin, after all.

“Do you know why we got attacked, anyway?” Keith spoke up, picking at his gloves. Already, he was awake and alert.

Allura tilted her head. “We haven’t been in contact with them yet, as far as I know. But I assume that it was just that we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ll have to look into it, once everyone is up and at the ready.”

“So… it wasn’t because of Voltron?”

Allura shook her head. “Only technically? From what Coran told me, there were a few extremists that prefer the ‘safety’ of Galra rule, over the freedom that the current legislation was fighting for.” She sighed, tucking her hands under her legs as she looked up at the ceiling. “The attack most likely would have happened regardless, but we were good targets to hit.”

“They must have contacted the Galra, though. To have summoned that awful robeast thing.” Keith pointed out, cringing at the memory of it.

“I’m glad you all were able to get out of there without me transporting us.” Allura confessed. “I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if none of us were in uniform.” Something her father had been adamant about, back in the day. It never hurt to be prepared, even if only as a display of power.

Lance threw his hands in the air. “Everyone wants to attack a princess.”

She huffed at that, standing. “You don’t understand the half of it.” She motioned towards the pods. “I’m assuming you two will be sitting here through the night, waiting for him?”

Lance and Keith shared a glance, before the two of them nodded. “I’m sure he can’t wait to see my beautiful face.” Lance said, striking a pose that showcased his glowing features.

Allura hummed, walking up the handful of stairs back towards the door. “Of course. I’m glad to see you two are doing alright after the incident.”

Keith snorted at that, self-consciously rubbing at his eye. Neither of them mentioned the brief breakdown he’d had, between one cuddle and the next. Lance isn’t sure if he’d ever seen someone cry so hard, but here they were with him acting perfectly fine not even three hours later.

With that, Allura left them to their own devices. Lance stood, walking toward the pod to run his palm across the cool glass.

“It kind of sucks that we got attacked for that, though.” He mumbled. Advocating for freedom was a dangerous profession, apparently. But… at a basic level, he could understand where the rebels had come from, even if he didn’t agree with it.

Keith flopped against the ground, heaving a heavy sigh.

“Yeah.”

 ---

 Hours later, they woke to cold mist smacking them across the face from the pod they’d nestled underneath. Lance jerked, flopping backwards against the unforgiving ground, only to take Keith’s head to his gut when the latter groggily followed him down.

“I’m dead!” He shrieked, gripping his stomach once they recovered. Keith snorted, helping him up and hurrying off to the side of the opening pod. “And I told you that you wouldn’t have enough time to change once he came out.”

“He won’t care.” Keith argued back, self-consciously crossing his arms across his chest as if to hide any smells he was emitting.

Lance tsk’d. “Does my opinion not count?”

Before Keith could retaliate with something mean,  Hunk tumbled forward. The two boys caught him as best they could while he regained his footing and the feeling back in his limbs.

Hunk kept his eyes closed as he wiggled his repaired fingers, rolled his bruiseless shoulders, and stretched the kinks out his back.

Then, he hesitantly peeked open one eye and shot the two an embarrassed smile. “You were right.” He nudge Lance in the shoulder. “I barely noticed it when I fell asleep.”

Lance beamed at him and, unable to stop himself, wrapped his entire body as best he could around Hunk’s torso. “I’m so glad you’re alright, big guy.”

“Sorry for freaking out.” Hunk gestured Keith forward. When he hesitated, Lance snatched him up by the shoulders and tugged him in for a group hug.

“Don’t worry about it, Hunky. You were so brave.”

Keith nodded, face firmly buried against Hunk’s skin. The two shared a knowing grin, and they stayed like that for the longest. Keith, out of the two of them, was the most introspective. He was quiet and it took him a while to voice his feelings, but both Hunk and Lance would be there to listen once he got his thoughts sorted and in order.

(They were expecting a few tears before they finally went to bed, to be honest.)

Hunk began shuffling from foot to foot to regain feeling in his toes, easily bearing the weight of them both while they hugged out their emotions. It was actually very therapeutic.

Then, Keith slid away, and Lance followed shortly after.

“You ready to go lay down and cuddle the night away?” Lance shot them both some finger-guns. “How’s this sound: you, me, Mullet over there, and some fluffy Altean pillows?”

Hunk was ready to agree until Keith shot forward, almost literally smacking Lance’s hands down. “No way. He needs peace and quiet after all of that. We’re just going to walk him back to his room and make sure he’s comfortable, and then we’re leaving him alone.”

Lance sputtered, taking a step into Keith’s personal space. “Uh— I don’t think so. You and I both were more worried than… than… a worrywart, and now you just want to leave him by himself?” He pfft’d.

Keith took a matching step forward, and their foreheads nearly banged together. “He needs time to relax.” He shot back, and the two broke out into a heated argument over their decision. Hunk sighed, glancing up at the ceiling as if it had any answers for him.

Then, he cut between the two of them and kissed them soundly on the cheek. Almost immediately, their words died down, and Hunk gifted them with a beaming grin.

“How about we get something to eat first? And then we figure out what to do after.”

The two stuttered out embarrassed agreements, which honestly was the cutest thing Hunk had ever seen, and he wrapped them up in an even tighter hug than before as he dragged them off towards the kitchens for a well-deserved late night snack and some warm cuddles to last them through the night.

They ended up falling asleep in each other’s arms, heads knocked together on the couch with a bowl of crunchy, sweet snacks stuffed between their legs.

And— if he learned anything from this situation, Hunk was glad that it was this:

There was no better feeling than waking up with the two people you loved right there with you, safely nestled in your arms.

[raviposting]

jonerys

Long fucking post ahead lmao so it’s going under a read more after the bullets. And just bc this specific fandom likes to comment on my posts all the time I’m gonna get this out of the way first and then talk about them more in the ask: 

I know boat sex is going to happen. 

I know the Targs have incestuous relationships and that Starks have had cousin marriages. (Although incest relationships also are portrayed as negative in both book and show but more on that later.)

Yes, I’ve seen this coming. I know the series’ name, I am in no way surprised that Jon and Dany will be together in a non-platonic way. 

Coming off that, I know the books will have them too. That...doesn’t mean I can’t still criticize the decision. You can understand why something was written and still dislike that it happened. 

This is only going to be tagged “anti jonerys”. Not anything else related to the show/books. I’m not invading your tag, so you’re either on mobile where their filtering system sucks or you’re scrolling through the anti tags. Either way, please chill out about it. 

All right, so, I’ve always kind of assumed Jon and Dany would meet, and also that they’d have some type of romantic relationship. The series is called A Song of Ice and Fire, and save it being a twist and referring to Jon, chances are it’s about both Jon and Dany. I didn’t particularly like that - as I’m not into incest ships - but I figured it would happen in some capacity. I figured they might fall hard for each other, then have the reveal, and then the two would have to work with that fallout (and I’ve thought maybe they’d have a political marriage to just make it work for both of them, but my ideal - beyond, you know, no romance - has always been that if they have to get married, that it be platonic). 

So, let’s go with points 2-5 first: I still do wish that after the reveal they don’t transition into a full out romance, but the show (and books) are going to do what they’re going to do, and I’ve already accepted that and have my ideals that I hope will happen. I do still think that the book may not have them be a completely endgame ship, however. While yes, the Targs have been incestuous, this has also led to people thinking negatively of their house. People have claimed that the Targaryens were destroyed because they were so incestuous. Generations of incest is not healthy, which was shown with the “great or mad” issue. Every time a Targ is born they’ll either be great, or a mad ruler, and it’s implied that it’s due to them having a long history of incestuous marriages. 

And yes, the Starks have had cousin marriages before, but none of our current main characters (that we root for) have expressed any interest in a relative - not even Dany, who will be more open to it than Jon, I’ll give you that, but still never expressed interest in say, Viserys, who she expected to marry. 

The ones that do are shamed for it - whether it be Cersei and Jaime (brother and sister) or Cersei and Lancel (cousins). Incest may have been a thing in their family history, but this current cast of characters? It’s definitely not as looked upon as it was in their parents’ time, but rather as a negative aspect of their house system. And..sidenote. This is about fandom, but why is it that fans very smugly say “it’s incest, it’s not a dealbreaker for them this is their world”? Like...I really don’t get the reasoning in that because the characters may not be as strongly opposed to it as modern day viewers are, but...like...why is the incest not a dealbreaker for you, someone who is in our world and not the GOT world??? 

And then for 1, and I suppose 3. Again, I know they’re gonna happen. I know boat sex is going to happen. But you know what? They have no chemistry - I know, I know, chemistry is subjective. But to me, I’ve seen no romantic chemistry. Before season 7, I thought I would have to fight against the chemistry. And, even though I hate Jonerys, I loved the idea of Jon & Dany meeting, I was hyped for it, ready to enjoy it. But...it just. There’s nothing there. After 10 minutes I was bored because the chemistry I had expected? Wasn’t there. It just feels flat and boring. 

If it weren’t for tumblr and Davos’s “looking at her good heart” line I wouldn’t know it was supposed to be a romance - which, by the way, the fact that the writers have to throw in that line, to let people know that’s what they intend? It’s bad writing. I have friends who aren’t on tumblr, and when I tell them people ship Jon and Dany, the first reaction is usually “wait, why? They don’t even like each other.” 

Kit and Emilia are good actors, but I just don’t see that chemistry. And I know they have the potential to have that romantic spark - Jon with Ygritte, even Jon with Gendry gave me more in 5 seconds than 3 episodes with Dany. I don’t even like the Jorah/Dany ship, yet I see the romantic chemistry far better. Sometimes I think I see a romantic emotion from Dany, but Jon? He seems completely uninterested and more than willing to get away from her presence and back home to fight the white walkers. And the way their fandom talks about it, it just reads like every Straight Person(TM) joke post I’ve ever seen. They argue, seem to actively dislike each other, and Jon keeps asking to leave yet fans will portray it as romantic or couple goals and...no. That’s not, they’re literally in the same room or actively asking to go away that’s...not romantic? Incest or not, I see nothing romantic between them and the boat sex scene? The fact that it’s only 2 episodes away feels extremely forced to me, as has most of Jon and Dany’s interactions this entire season, and it may be canon in both book and show but if it had to be, it definitely could have been written better. 

And god, fandom has been irritating me and that’s honestly bumped up how much I dislike the ship, I’m going to be completely honest.  Commenting on just about every post, refusing valid criticisms as “the haters”, mixed in with certain Dany fans who think any comment about her being a White Savior is misogynistic (rather than, you know, listening to actual POC fans). The fandom has actively made me hate this ship more than I ever thought I could, because by god I was really just of the idea of “it’ll happen and I’ll hate it but I guess I’ll just ignore it” mood before season 7 lmao. 

Regardless, that’s basically it.

tl;dr:  I’m not into it because I don’t ship incest and I don’t see the chemistry, and because fandom is one of the most intrusive groups I have ever seen. 

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

[kendrixtermina]

Typing Misadventures - IN edition

So, typing and the difficulties therein.

Aside from person-specific ad-hominems, some that have been elaborated upon in attempts to explain them on this very website.

Sensors: Bad Sensor descriptions written by NPs, combining with the fact that Sensors rely a lot on developing a practical experential “feel” for things. A bad, vague and overly abstract description that doesn’t relate to their life is gonna be not very useful. (especially for SFPs for whom what they relate to is srz bzness) - Interestingly I’ve seen a lot of Sensors saying that they easily indentify particular types once they have encountered them IRL. (Speculation: With intuitives it probably depends more on wether they have their definitrions straight.)

Ne-Doms: Type-hop and doubt their type alot because they know they always could be mistyped and possibilities are the primary facet of reality for them. The “creative” nature of the auxillary, and their auxillary being a function that generates and handles belief systems,  means they can always reinterpret the evidence by redoing their reasoning or reassigning meaning, also the lack of Si leads to less constancy in their thinking, they change opinion easily, which is normally an asset, but not so much for self-typing as every input generates new ideas. (The auxillaries also have this but to a much lesser degree - b/c)

—

But today, I want to talk about INs (I know, boring - but those are what I know the most about since I am one.)

You may have seen me caveat my posts with “Unless I am actually an xNFP or something” as of late Yeah. It went about like this:

Troll: Haha you’re mistyped!

Me: Why?

Troll: because X.

Me: I have an alternate, more fitting explanation for X and a lot of things which my current typing explains betters especially when you get into the nuance of mbti theory.

Troll: (*hamfistedly applies overreductionistic function definition*) “Anyone who ever quotes a source ever is a Te user”. Just like anyone who ever mentions memory is a SJ amirite?

Troll: *shifts the topic to my person and then accuses me of talking about myself*

Me: *blocks troll largely to curttail own tendency to waste time & energy with internet arguments*

So at my best,  I believe in not dismissing inconvenient PoVs and double-checking, and the main point of replying them was to leave an alternate opinion for future readers hence no point in continuing after that had been done.  

At my worst damn inf Fe makes it hard to ignore input even if I don’t believe it’s justified (except when it fails to pick them up - as inferior functions are wont to be its either sluggish or AHH with little inbetween. ) and that lil 8 fix of mine doesn’t want to “stand down quietly”.  

So I ask a few reasonable, knowledgeable, non-troll person, one of which said “Hm, could be, you anecdote alot which X type also does”

I believed this was better accounted for by simple ol’ Si and w4-self revealing tendencies, but, how could I know for sure? I never denied having a pronounced 4wing and fix, but I thought that sufficiently explaining their perceived discrepancies insofar as I found them consistent with reality and indeed all data collected so far. Too much would just be filed away as “inf Te” as a blanket term, the way any sign that [fan favorite character] is ST rather than INFJ is “inferior Se” though that supposed “inferior” is 80% of what she does and all moments claimed for F or N are the sort of situations where anyone would display emotion or philosophizing and what intuition they display is distinctly Ne instead. 

Like the proverbial man who dreamt of being a frog I couldn’t cast the doubt from my mind and went over reinterpreting my thought patterns throughout the day. How do I know I’m NOT X type? After all my idea of and criteria for type are based on the definitions I extracted from various mbti sources when first familiarzing myself with the topic… how do I know I understood it correctly? How can ANY human correctly understand a definition if they have to deduce/reconstruct/guess what the other meant with their own flawed mind?

(At this point the non-INs in the audience might be rolling their eyes)

I still thought my type made the most sense but the person, through trolling in that particular instance, was not alltogether clueless and had some good insights, and also, some ppl agreed with them (theres that Fe again) - I was pretty sure I was in the holographic-panomramic thinking style but I could be wrong,  thats a fairly rarely used concept which I simply started using cause I thought it made sense. ENFPs can mistake themselves for introverts. I have been mistaken for extrovert b/c of my lack of filter… but I was pretty sure I was a very pronouncedintrovert and had Fe, and so I went over it over and over again.

They said I didn’t comprehend _ i had some theory as to why they thought the way they did (not just bias against xNFPs but assuming all Ti is like aux Ti. After all, an introverted function as a dominant builds a framework and may be reluctant to accept or need time to withdraw when said framework clashes with reality to the point of needing a full revamping, purportedly resulting in a certain stubbornness particularly if it’s a Ji function.  )

but what if I really Didn’t comprehend? Then all my reasoning would be worthless! I dont think I have the skills of an INFP, but what if i misunderstood those? Was a lot of what I’d attributed to Ti just Ne? i thought I had rather typical Ti speech patterns (it was hard to unsee, like my brain used a highly predictable parsing alghorithm to make thoughts into words) but they disagreed and pointed to what they thought was Fi. 

I thought that despite all the differences introduced by  shared preferences and  there were differences between I and the Fi doms I knew. The 9 and the 6 were much more lowkey, non-confrontational than I and way more perceptive in line with how socionics describes Fi as the “Ethics of Relations” and how Nardi calls it an “Inner state of listening/reacting”; I mostly listen to the contents of someone’s words; I’d spot a liar by contradiction or unbeliavable statements, or by deducing what beliefs they are operating from. Feelers supposedly use primarily tone of voice... but I have sure noticed tone of voice a few times, and this is a qualia. I can’t compare what “Fi” or “Ti” feel like without making assumptions of which one I am using. 

Supposedly

The 4! INFPs should be the most similar to me, on the other hand, they tend to have a certain...absoluteness in their beliefs and statements in a way I wouldn’t be comfortable with. I’m more hesitant, more relativizing, adding qualifiers etc so bI don’t say anything incorrect. 

I don’t mean to bash the INFPs here, they are usually just processing their specific feels and do not mean to imply things about others. (Tumblr INFP: “I, an INFP, experience X.”. Tumblr xxFJ: “Are you saying that other types don’t????? You can’t say that! How self absorbed are you?” Immature  Tert Fe User:*distantly feels the same urge toward ,moral condemnation as FJ,but couldn’t care less if INFP offends anyone -  settles for calling them a snowflake instead. * TJs and Ti doms: *roll their eyes, half-assedly consider correcting whoever they disagree with but ultimately just keep scrolling*) Of course Team Fe sometimes has a point if the INFP in question is young and/or irresponsible. 

Example: 

One INFP 4w5: “I be those shallow fake bitches look down on you just because you don’t wear as much makeup. I don’t think anyone who wears makeup can be trusted, unless it’s like,halloween makeup or something like that, they’re just putting up fake faces to be popular.”

Me (let’s say, presumed INTP 5w4): “I dunno... Like I agree that those girls are shallow bitches,if they had spines, they wouldn’ perform arbitrary fake behavior just to be popular.* But not everyone is the same - maybe some people might just wear makeup because they like how it looks. The real problem is people being judged by arbitrary conventions on principle. What does is matter whether someone wears makeup or not? Its a made-up convention with no real reason.  It’s none of anyone’s business.”

* for the record I have since realized that there’s nothing bad about wanting to be popular as long as yopu dont harm anyone, and that for some people its genuinely what they want. I was, like,  13. Common (w)4 pitfall I guess. 

As you see both I and this middle school friend of mine are expressing 4-ish povs, but I used to think  the difference in our reasoning highlighted some differences. 

Granted this is more 5w4 vs 4w5 than necessarily Ti vs Fi,  Could just be the 5′s general disconnect toward action and desire to “know more first”. 

There are 5 INFPs. after all. Mostly sx 5s and as such differentiable from the relatively intense, dramatic sx 4 as long as you’re certain enough that they’re sx. Thinking about how to describe them. More second-guessing and ‘drifting’ than the 4 ones but like them in their analytical nature. A different kind of contemplative.  Still reasons distinctlylike an INFP - See, One of them was religious, for example, and I’m pretty sure an INTP would have had more posts about why they were religious or not, though it’s one of the types most likely to be a non-believer, the religious ones tend to have a theological bent and talk about the perfection and incomprehensibility of god, how god is totally logical etc. (Thomas Acquinas is a famous example) - their faith will be an ordered self-consistent system. A bit like that example of copernikus assuming the orbits must be perfectly circular because natture as he understood it would tend toward the most “perfect” forms. I’m not religious and I could likewise talk about that at lenght.

Arguments that convinced me:  “This is how these beliefs came from, not an actual god” and “If were made out of single celled organism who die all the time as shed skin cells, how would the rest of them dieing at once be different?” “Even if your religion is true that means many, if not all others are not. So at least all some must be myths. How is your “true” religion different from them?” 

Arguments made by famous Te-Fi users: “Occams Razor.” “We can’t disprove a giant sucker on the back of Pluto either, but its no reason to suppose one.”“Belief in god hampers human development and creates dependent, slavish mentality”

That 5!INFP’s attitude toward their belief reminded me more of another Fi dom I know (albeit an ISFP). “Yeah, I know the common objections, but look, it’s what I believe. Don’t come into my house and be a jerk to me about it.” or “[Assholish behavior] is not actually in line with my religion. My religion, and this aspect of it, are actually about love/peace/duty/etc” 

If, while conversing,  you hit a hard disagreement, that is,  an axiom that’s not up for debate, your Fi-dom friend may change the topic/agree to disagree/ “It’s just the way I feel” 

[This could apply to other moral or ideological questions religion is just an example; This is not supposed to be about religion it’s just here to illustrate a perceived difference. . I’m not implying all INFPs have the same approach to religion or even have to be religious.]

Another conversation I remember having with them actually on the very subject of Fi vs Fe. IDK how we got to that topic but I mentioned something I initially thought was an enneagram thing (my memory is vague on the details) but I mentioned something like lowkey feeling guilty for receiving praise that I believe was undeserved. 

She deemed it a Fe thing and said that for her, as a Fi dom/ fe opposing type, a bit of praise she did not agree with might not cause any reaction at all unless she thought they had a point  or otherwise had a reaction from her end, like deciding the criticism was unfair - why should she feel guilty b/c of what someone else says? 

Granted that’s just an anecdote, but what am I to do? INFP 5s are not super common. Also I’m not making this decisionbased on any single of these examples but... not even from the “preponderance” so much as to how they can be best explained. 

And  of course, if I really did get everything wrong after looking into the topic for years, what guarantee is there that I typed any of those people correctly? None, as one of the trolls/claimants correctly pointed out. 

After all what I want is the truth, it doesn’t matter what it is. Or at least that is what I strive for as much as human frailty allows. so what if I’m an INFP? INFPs are awesome. I even considered the type early on, I just thougnt INTP fit better especially once I found out about inferior functions.  And I have always held that a person has no obligation to follow their “talents”. If I don’t have a “talent” for reason (which isn’t the same as mbti thinking anyways) all the reasons why I believe that it is a good way of life to aim for would still stand. Reason is a method to correct for human error and bias, after all, the error and bias we all have, no matter what Ji function we use.

Type insofar as it can even be said to be a real thing is a classfication of emergent qualities, not a hard measure you can get in an instrument. 

As much as I’d want to figure this out, there comes a point where you just have to like step back and put it in context.  it’s just a personality test/ little tool to facilitate communication in which “maybe this or that” is more helpful than nothing. 

Striving for it despite not being handed talent at birth is all the more worthwhile - and if reason was only for certain kinds of people what’s the point of it? Regardless of what tropes people associate with “science” or “logic”, what they actually are by definition are simple basic methods.

Last but not least there was a moment

Soo, existential crisis. At least they can’t doubt that I’m a melancholic or an oldham ideosyncraticXD

Then,  my doubt crumbled away to the “ mostly sure, dont think it could be anything else but im not omnicient” levels at which it was before.

What happened? Well, a rare event:

Well, I went outside and talked to people.

I visited my folks, saw new places, got into a few unscripted situations in other words. 

I’ve seen one post detailing that INs may mistype because they analyze themselves as a whole, feature in less apparent traits and second-guess their reasoning worrying about bias, noticing what sticks out more than the norm etc.  and so on and that may be it in part but I don’t think it’s only this relatively “noble”, too-much-of-a-good-thing mistake.

- It’s a matter about how we are all about ~extrapolating~ from data and using multiple data points and less about decisiveness and practicality. We brood away endlessly trying to come up with interpretations and conceptualizations that makes all the data points fit rather than just going with what they themselves largely seem to suggest. 

One good description I once heard is that Intuitives think in networks while Sensors think in puzzle pieces - I went overboard trying to build ever more complex networks instead of going “Yeah, with all the puzzle pieces so far it’s probably this.”. 

Sometimes the latter approach can be incomplete and miss game changing interconnections - but just as often, the former gets convoluted and therefore, both uselessly vague and too far removed from the actual data its meant to interpret. 

Aaaand, well, almost every sentence I said was “Did you know that...?” or “I think so/ don’t think so because of [observation followed by possible deduction].

Sure, I could be biased in my observation or unconsciously “doing it on purpose to appear a certain way” even if I don’t think I am or care about that, , but some critical mass of “doing it on purpose” would itself be equivalent with 5 (or a 3)

I was a little afraid one time; I reacted by withdrawing and looking at the whole thing as an observatrion and it was a highly temporary thing. And as much as I complain about Fe users playing police, I may have been guilty of one moment of overreacting, unwanted/socially-chiding “help” myself there. (The person perhaps justly called me a know-it-all. They were wrong about one thing but I may have handled it all more constructively) I repeatedly expressed vague undifferentiated preferrences that were closer to analyzing what factors were at work rather than having clear like/dislike reasons readily available. .

I critiqued a TV show (myself and the local INTJ annoying all the non-NTs with our loud, animated critiquing ) and a big factor to being unabvle to enjoy it fully was the lack of High-Concept abstract sci fi content and mostly the lack of consistency - normally a lot of my enjoyment would come from extrapolatinmg and deducing what the world is like and how it, the themes and charactzers “work”, but here I coulnd do that because it was tacked onto a ‘verse it did not fit into. I observed how said INTJ and I reacted to us correcting each other on small things with like a brief thanks or apology & just moving on whilst similar things had gotten annoyed snarks out of our otherwise patient Feeler sister...

The nails in the coffin were those 2 tumblr posts, one about differences in how Fi and low Fe argue (the latter pile including 3 phrases I used verbatim in the last discussion with my SO just hours earlier) and a post by the afore mentioned “resonable poster” about, as she called it “oversharing in soc variants vs soc blinds” though the correct amount of sharing might well be in the eye of the beholder.

But that was the one objection of the troll I didn’t have a non-vague satisfactory reply to, what rly kept me wondering rather than “eh not gonna reinvent the wheel again”, something about “sp/sx woldn’t have long descriptions or emo rants” Apparently they do when they never have to dea with the person again (such as on the internets. )

IDK I did move the description so no one’s forced to read it but lots of peeps have one (This is like... a blogging site??) but the reasons for its existence had more to do with “completionist urges related to then-current obsession (typology)” and “So I like X, bite me.” sort of sentiment than whatever it was they presuposed. 

Dear Causal-Deterministic peeps (ENTP, INFP, ISTP, ESFP): Instances of the same behavior can be caused by different causes! Look at this: 2 4 8.

What’s the pattern? - Could be “powers of 4″.  Could also be “even numbers” or even “any increasing integer”. 

Of course this whole mess is an example of where we H-P folks (INTP, ENFP, ISFP, ESTP) look at everything from multiple angels/Povs, (”Is it like this? Is it lika that? It COULD be seen this other way...”) rather than, well, decide which ones are most relevant here/ “Pick one”. At least the SPs have Se to “just grab one” or whatever it is they do. 

Whereas we just stand there speculating XD The ENFPs sorta do it too but in a whole different way/ area of life? 

Me: “Either he is nuts or I am nuts because we can’t both be telling the truth!”

ENFP: “Well I empasize with both of you so I don’t think either of you is nuts?”

Me: Sorry but this is a real dichotomy here for once. If he dun nothing wrong, then I would be wrong for accusing him thus, just as he says..

ENFP: Can we all agree to disagree and chil maybe? plz??

Might also be why there`s this overlap between ENFPs and Universalists? Though obviously not all ENFPs are universalists and vice versa. 

So yeah. Kinda comical in hindsight. I started out all second guess-ey and entertaining both possibilities in parallel but in the end, well, I do think it’s INTP after all, at least, I’d say its the most probable by a considerable margin. Most definitely 5 tho. For all the occasionall 4 ness its by far the most overwhelming tendency in day to day life/thinking ugh cant I NOT spew nerd facts about everything in sight. What are other conversaton topics? 

Bottom Line: By thinking about your own thinking you alter your thinking, and that way lie 2nd order chaotic systems, the Uncertainty Principle and Goedel’s Theorem...

So going outside both threw me out of that recursion and added new, raw data as a means to test the competing hypotheses. It forced me to see what I actually act like by and large in a natural setting rather than the many ways I could interpret or read the way I act like, which like, is not actually all that mysterious lol

[russianglitter]

With all the Russian gym drama lately, I figured Tumblr might be interested in a post about this.

To start, I’ll briefly describe the U.S. system, since I’ll be comparing it to Russia’s a lot.

In the U.S., there are ten “Junior Olympic” levels. Gymnasts can compete whatever level they're capable of, as long as they meet the minimum age requirement and have scored out of the previous level. You can learn more about the levels here and by searching “level __ meet” on youtube. This program ends at level 10; it does not lead to elite.

If a young American gymnast shows elite potential, they’re usually filtered through the TOPS and Hopes programs, get invited to camps, and eventually qualify elite. For example, the current crop of US juniors attended developmental camps at the Ranch starting at about age 10. But even “late bloomers” can qualify elite; they just need to meet the minimum scores for their age group. You can sometimes tell who took the “elite path” (they tend to be more polished), but the US has Olympic champions from both backgrounds.

ANYWAY, enough about ‘Murrica.

Russia's system is much different. While they do have categories (3 junior ones, 3 senior ones, candidate master of sport, and master of sport), they're based more on age than skill level. I’ll do my best to explain them here. Skip ahead to the “what Russia lacks” section if you DGAF.

The categories are a remnant of the USSR sports classification system, and are used for most Russian sports.

Though I believe rhythmic and figure skating have a separate “elite” category/qualification score? FS also lets older kids compete in lower levels, which gets more kids involved, which helps popularize the sport, which increases the talent pool and is part of why Russian figure skating is so dominant GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER WAG

If you’re wondering why the levels aren’t just 6-5-4-3-2-1, it’s because they started out with 3-2-1-CMS-MS, then realized it was important to have lower levels as well. Actually idk why they didn’t just add 6-5-4... blame the Soviets. MOVING ON.

Each region decides what skills to include in the junior categories, so they vary a lot. In general, though, I'd describe them as follows:

Level 3 (tiny kids, like 5 year olds) - very basic; forward rolls and cartwheels, pullover on bars, walking across the beam

Level 2 - back walkovers, split jumps, forward rolls on beam, back hip circles

Level 1 - ro+bhs or just a roundoff, fwo+carthweel+bwo, sometimes kips and beam cartwheels

Additionally, most of the top schools require their gymnasts to be proficient at a set of physical abilities (similar to TOPS skills) before they can advance. The requirements are not strict, but it definitely makes a difference.

I have no issues with this system. I think it’s great for kids to focus on the basics, gain strength, develop each event at their own pace, etc. It’s all well and good until they start using the FIG code.

The senior levels have both compulsory and optional routines.

Level 3 (8/9 years) - Not every region has compulsories for this level, but for those that do, they’re basically the same as the girls’ optional routines. You mostly see US level 5-6 skills here. [example]

Levels 2 & 1 compete in national meets, so the compulsory routines are standard across the country

Level 2 (9/10 years) - Compulsories are about US level 7 difficulty; optionals range from US level 5 to US junior elite. They start using a modified FIG code, so skill chucking becomes rampant. [videos: compulsories / optionals 1 / optionals 2]

Level 1 (11/12 years) -  These compulsories are more complex than they are difficult, if that makes sense? The skills/combos are about US level 8 (except bars), but the routines are really hard. Optionals, again, vary a lot. Most of the girls making national finals will have level 10 skills, minimum. 11-12 is usually when the young phenoms are added to the national team, so that group tends to break away as they benefit from camps at Round Lake.  [videos: compulsories, vault is just a handspring / optionals]

Candidate Master of Sport / Master of Sport

no compulsories, just regular FIG code

CMS is 13/14 year olds, similar to “espoir” in other countries

MS is 14/15 for juniors, and then 16+ is obviously senior

There is a qualification score, but I’m not sure what it is in the current code. Girls can compete in the categories without getting the title though. 

Regarding the titles, if I remember correctly...

Being awarded Master of Sport is a huge achievement; it can get gymnasts admitted to good universities and makes them desirable coaches

“MS, international class” = medaled at Euros or Worlds

Honored Master of Sport” = World/European champion or Olympian

Those two titles^^ don’t affect the category they compete in, it’s just a nice accomplishment.

Important note: As you’ve probably guessed by now, Russia has no separate elite stream or division. So in the “senior” categories, there is a wide range of ability. Gymnasts who cannot safely do the compulsory skills are competing against gymnasts with elite skills. The regional meet scores can be really depressing... You’ll have a few nationals-bound girls scoring 50+ AA, but many can’t put up a single score in the double digits. (here’s a recent example... check out those bars scores! 0.3!)

[rant incoming]

I imagine this is pretty demoralizing, and results in many girls quitting the sport altogether, particularly once they reach the CMS and MS categories. They’re older, gymnastics is harder and more painful, and they’re in over their heads with the FIG code. There’s no Level 9 Easterns, JO Nationals, or NCAA scholarship to dream of, so why endure all that? Especially when you’ll never meet the strict requirements to become a Master of Sport & enjoy the benefits that come with that.

These girls have no shot at making their region’s team for nationals (usually 6 people), and even if they could - they’re essentially JO gymnasts, and would be competing against European, World, and Olympic champions (Aliya I miss you please come back) - it would be like pitting this random girl from Michigan’s state meet against Ragan Smith. And that girl from Michigan isn’t a bad gymnast! She’s certainly better than I could ever be, and I’m glad she’s able to compete what she’s capable of and be successful. IMO, Russian gymnasts of her ability should have similar opportunities. Leave the sport having had a positive experience, and pass it onto the next generation. Instead, they either quit or attempt too-hard routines that make me cringe. Alexander Alexandrov actually discussed this topic in his Rewriting Russian Gymnastics interview. I definitely recommend reading that interview in its entirety if you haven’t yet.

[/rant]

What Russia Lacks

An organized way to develop elite athletes

Some regions do hold camps, well-known Olympians travel around teaching “master classes,” and the top kids from Russian Hopes get invited to Round Lake each year. I’ll give them that.

But there’s no developmental camp system, like in the US or GB. Russian WAG is lacking numbers at the lower levels compared to other countries. They need to ID talent early on and nurture it, not occasionally send scouts to meets and hope for the best.

An example: Lilia Akhaimova trained in Vladivostok for her entire junior career. That girl has SO MUCH natural talent, and I’m glad her coaches in St. Petersburg have brought it out. But can you imagine how amazing she could have been with better coaching? Surely she would have been noticed in a TOPS-like program. How many Akhaimovas are out there?

I think a dedicated “elite stream,” starting at age 10 or so, could really benefit them, at least temporarily. Just take the kids who show decent strength and have level 7/8 skills and let them compete against each other. Hold regional camps to develop their technique and teach code-appropriate skills. IMO it would benefit both “elite” and “regular” gymnasts. But whatever, I’m not RGF.

The facilities to train high-level gymnastics

Russian gyms are TINY, and many of them are in horrible condition, with ancient apparatus and those Soviet-era mats that resemble floral couch cushions.

There are girls on the national team whose home gyms do not even have a spring floor. 

“Why are the gymnasts are Round Lake so much?! They should train at home more.” ^ That’s why.

(Of course they travel to train at the next best gym, but... a gym without a spring floor.)

That’s not to say it’s all bad. The big three gyms in Moscow (CSKA, Dinamo, Sambo 70) are very nice, as are the facilities in St. Petersburg

The Voronezh gym that produced Komova and Melnikova is also looking good, but that’s only because Komova won some shit and got them funding. When she was growing up, the gym had little heating and they had to train in winter clothes. I just wish Youth Olympic titles weren’t required to earn a decent training space.

I guess this is a typical Russian gym. Tiny and with old/limited equipment, but no real safety concerns. Junior national champion Ksenia Klimenko is from here.

I realize that run-down buildings are common in Russia, but I think it’s important to show the gyms these girls train in. When you realize Russia’s gymnasts aren’t being developed in state-of-the-art gyms, like in the US, their ingrained form and technique issues become more understandable. Not excusable, but understandable.

The ability to keep girls at a high level

So many Russian gymnasts just... disappear.

I get that elite isn’t for everyone. Injuries happen, shoddy technique doesn’t carry through growth spurts, bone diseases or the plague will get you, and so on.

Anyway, bottom line, something is wrong with the system and I can’t pinpoint what it is. This has always been an issue, even before the Rods decided conditioning was of the devil. IDK.

Encouraging 9-year-olds to compete double backs and such prob has something to do with it though.

Last-minute edit!! Keeping girls at a high level is not worth them getting hip replacements at 16!! Just let them go!! Y’all fucked up big time.

General info/stuff people frequently ask about

Most NT gymnasts train at Round Lake for three weeks, then go home for one week. Juniors are there a little less often. Obviously, this schedule is adjusted for competitions. 

Their personal coaches travel with them.

It’s encouraged for gymnasts to stick with the same coach their whole career, which I think is an issue. Voronezh has many gymnasts who could be great under Komova’s coach, but are just “meh” with their childhood coaches. 

I think this is better than handing them over to the national staff, though, like you see in Romania and China. I’m glad the Russian gymnasts have a lifelong, trusted adult looking out for them. 

The NT gymnasts get a monthly stipend. According to Grishina, she earned 100,000 rubles (about 1700 USD) per month, but her coaches claim it wasn’t that much. Regardless, they are getting paid. 

Moscow is still the dominant WAG city, having placed Mustafina, Paseka, Sosnitskaya, Spiridonova, and Tutkhalyan on major teams last quad.

There really is no close second... Melka is from Voronezh, Eremina from St. Petersburg, Kapitonova from Penza, Ilyankova from Leninsk-Kuznetsky.  It’s nice to see some variety.

What else.

Let’s talk about the vault issue!

Russian juniors start yurchenkos late

They rarely compete yurchenko tucks/pikes/layouts, preferring to just start with the full.

This is likely due to the open ended code being used for 10-year-olds. Tsukaharas and front handsprings are faster to learn than yurchenkos, so they do them for the D score.

(Yurchenkos are harder initially, but once a gymnast has sound technique, she can usually generate more power than with a tsuk/FHS.)

This results in shitty yurchenko fulls, tsuk layouts, and handspring pikes that will never be upgraded. :)

I guess that’s it. If you have any questions/comments/concerns, feel free to inbox me! I’ll do my best to answer or direct you to someone who can.

[travelingtheusa]

UTAH

26 May 2019 (Sun) - I apologize.  We have been so busy with the caravan that I have not had a chance to write anything in this blog.  The caravan will be over on June 11.  Things should return to normal then.

 We have been rafting on the Colorado River, driven a UTV through the desert, and hiked/driven some of the most incredible landscape imaginable.  This has been an incredible experience.

 20 May 2019 (Mon) – We pulled up stakes and left Torrey at 9 a.m. with four rigs in our group.  One member of the caravan, Hank & Brenda, had to dive further south to Freightliner to get their rig repaired.  They’ve been having problems with power trying to go uphill.  Hank changed the fuel filter but it didn’t help.  Hope they can find the problem quickly and they can get back with us.

     Another member of the caravan, Shirley, broke down just after leaving the campground.  Our tail gunner, Jon, and another rig driven by Jim & Lida stopped to help.  Group four and five were combined and sent on. Shirley had her 19’ class B RV towed to a repair shop.  

 19 May 2019 (Sun) – We did the laundry this morning.  We went to one building but it was locked (reserved for housekeeping – they wash the linens for the cabins).  We went to the second building which had two washers and two dryers stacked one on top of the other.  Both washers had laundry in them.  As we started to leave, Steve (a fellow SMART member) came up and moved his clothes to the dryers.  We loaded our clothes in the two washers and when we put in the coins, one machine broke down.  We had to unload that washer and just let the one washer go.  When we came back, we moved the wash to the dryer and put the second batch of clothes in the washer.  It took longer to do the wash than usual.  Ugh.

     At noon, we drove down the road to the general store.  We couldn’t find most of what we wanted so we just got travel tissues and post cards for the grandsons.  Then we went to the Wild Rabbit Café for lunch.  They had a very limited menu – two sandwiches or a salad. We both got BLTs.

     It was back to the campground and finishing up with the caravan materials.  At 5:00 p.m. we had a potluck dinner.  Paul managed to hang a tarp over one of the open doorways to cut down on the wind. Jon brought over his propane fireplace, which added a nice warmth to the pavilion.  The food was, as usual, good and plentiful.  At 6:30 p.m. we had our travel meeting.  The weather turned nasty and cold.  Some kind of cold weather system blew in.  Brrrrr.

 18 May 2019 (Sat) – At 9:00 a.m. we pulled out of the campground with 8 cars following; 19 of us looking forward to a great day of exploration. The temperatures were warmer than yesterday and most of the clouds were gone.  With John Denver songs playing on the stereo, we led the group down Route 12, America’s Byway.  The scenery was very lush.  As we moved into higher elevations, forests of pine and aspen lined the roadway. Soon, whole sides of the mountain were filled with quaking aspen waiting to explode into their springtime bloom. We stopped at several overlooks to admire the grandeur spread before us.

     When we reached the end of Route 12, one couple turned back and four stopped to tour the Anasazi Village Museum.  Four of us turned left onto the Burr Trail.  John Denver done, we slipped in a CD of music of the American Southwest. The sound of screaming eagles and howling coyotes joined in with flutes and drums.  We drove along the two lane road, admiring the ever changing scenery before us.  The variety of colors and shapes was incredible.  After about two hours of driving, we pulled onto a turn out that overlooked the Black Canyon and had lunch.  For half an hour, we gazed out over the land below and were filled with awe at the Creator’s handiwork.

     Lunch all done, we continued on the Burr Trail.  That’s where things got really interesting.  A little after turning heading out, the pavement ended and we were driving on a dirt road.  A little further on, we came upon a series of switchbacks with deep downgrades.  It was an adrenaline pumping ride!  We turned off Burr Trail on to Notom Trail and the road soon found pavement again. The entire ride was about five hours long.  

     At 5:00 p.m. we all drove to the Capitol Reef Inn & Café. There was some confusion and the group wound up arriving too early and ordering things that were different than the pre-ordered food.  Most of the food was good and the service was excellent.

 17 May 2019 (Fri) – We packed up and left Bryce Canyon City at 9:00 a.m.  We led four other rigs on a 110-mile route to Torrey.  The scenery was absolutely beautiful!  We had free range cows wandering in the road, there was a skunk walking on the side of the road in the bushes, cows grazing in wide open grasslands, and hawks flying overhead.  The weather was cold when we started out and got colder.  Eventually, we had sleet and snow in small spurts.  The wind was really cold.

     When we arrived at the campground, I went in the office to pay the bill.  The clerk gave me campground maps to hand out to everyone and informed me that ten sites were 50-amp and eleven were 30-amp.  That is bad news in the camping world.  You always want 50-amp.  I waited until Jon got in and then we went in to talk to the manager about the situation. I couldn’t believe she didn’t see any difference between 30-amp and 50-amp sites except if you needed to use air conditioners.  Ugh.

     The group tried to have social hour at 4:00 p.m. but the weather was cold and the wind was blowing so we all retreated to our rigs.  I hope tomorrow is nice for our ride on Route 12.

 16 May 2019 (Thu) – Paul and I drove part of the route for tomorrow’s move just to ensure everyone would be able to negotiate it alright. There were two herds of cows wandering on the roadway and a creek was very full and touching the roadway.  If we get rain tonight, the road may be flooded when we try to drive it.  Otherwise the drive was pleasant.  We stopped in Panguitch and looked at the boyhood home of Butch Cassidy.  It was just a log cabin with a storyboard outside. Not much to see.  We had lunch at the Cowboy Café.  Their roasted red pepper soup and cole slaw were so good that we bought more to take home.

      We had social hour at 4:00 p.m. and travel meeting following.  The wind was blowing fiercely and the temperatures have dropped dramatically.  We have a freeze warning for tonight.  Also, it rained heavily for an hour.  Paul will have to get up early and drive tomorrow’s route to make sure the road is open. Otherwise, we will have to use an alternate route.

     After the meeting, we went to dinner at Ruby’s Inn Restaurant with Rick & Brenda and Hank & Brenda.  The food and company were good.

 15 May 2019 (Wed) – The National Park Service provided a special bus for us to take a tour of Bryce Canyon.  The bus arrived at 10:00 a.m. and we took a three hour tour.  The driver drove all the way to the end of the 17-mile loop then stopped at various overlooks on the way back.  He was a retired vet and provided an entertaining and informative ride.

     At 7:00 p.m. we went to a cowboy dinner show at Ebenezer’s Barn & Grill.  There was food and music and lots of clapping and singing.  We had a very good time.

 14 May 2019 (Tue) – We moved from Zion to Bryce Canyon City today. We packed up and left at 9 a.m. with four rigs following behind us.  The ride was easy and we arrived around noon.  The campground is very nice.  We are in a new part where the campsites are very roomy and each has a large grassy plot. The interior roads are nicely graded.

     Bryce Canyon City is an interesting town.  It is owned entirely by the family of the original founder. The entrance to the National Park is just a block away.

13 May 2019 (Mon) – We got up at 4:30 a.m., fed the animals, and packed up for a sunrise hike to Zion Canyon Overlook.  We met Rick & Brenda at 5:30 a.m. and they drove us up the route through the Mount Carmel Tunnel.  We climbed up the trail

     We had a potluck dinner and travel meeting today.  The food was so plentiful.  It was a delightful day.  The cell phone serve and wifi in this area sucks!  Whenever I try to send a message, I get an error message saying the message could not be sent.  The jet pack can’t connect to the internet.  I have been unable to connect to Tumblr or to post anything on Facebook. I don’t know what it’s so bad. It’s hard to try to download anything or to make calls.  I can’t wait to get out of this area.

 12 May 2019 (Sun-Mother’s Day) – Jan & Nancy gave all the ladies a red rose this morning.  We all drove into Zion National Park today.  Some hiked trails and others drove scenic routes.  We rode with Rick & Brenda into the park.  We left the car at the visitor’s center and caught the shuttle to stop 6 where we hiked to The Grotto.  Then we hiked to the lower Emerald Pools.  The upper Emerald Pools and Kayenta Trail were closed due to recent flooding.

     I checked in at 12:15 and got tickets for everyone.  At 12:45 p.m. everyone gathered at the foot of the stairs to the Red Rock Grill.  I turned in the tickets to the head waiter and we were all seated on the second floor. The restaurant served a taco salad bar. The choices were plentiful.

     Afterward, we returned to the campground and worked on caravan stuff.

 11 May 2019 (Sat) – We left Boulder City, NV, at 8:00 a.m. and drove 170 miles to Zion Canyon.  We are staying in Zion River RV Resort in Virgin, UT.  It is a very nice campground with pool, spacy sites, grass at each site, concrete pads, picnic tables, fire pits, wifi (poor), and asphalt roadways.

    We had group 4 follow their GPS rather than the prescribed route and they wound up driving through Las Vegas.  Sadly, they missed a very scenic route through Lake Mead National Recreation Area.  Everyone was finally arrived by 3:00 p.m.

[makingstuffup]

Here’s an argument that we see from ace tumblr on a regular basis. It’s the argument that people not knowing about your identity or believing that it’s real is, in and of itself, a form of oppression (often phrased as “at least people know you exist”). This argument is being used in someone’s blog post to prove a certain point.

[T]here is one more term which I must define, namely that which I call "oppression by omission." By this, I don't simply mean the invisibility of minorities (either "invisibility" in the larger society, or as "invisibility" within minority spaces, such as this blog post about the invisibility of Native/Indigenous people in spaces for people of color). There are countless ways in which minorities of various kinds, and those positions of relatively less social power, are not taken into account, left out of decision-making processes that have an impact on them, etc. Oppression by omission is not "you are so marginalized we do not have to consider how this will impact you," although that plays a role in it. What I am mainly talking about here is the experience of minority groups about whom the master-narrative is "this group does not and cannot exist at all," and when one of the central ways by which oppression is occurring is through society's repeated (even ubiquitous) assertion that people like this do not and cannot exist, and that people who "claim" to be this way are mentally ill, frauds, or are otherwise incapable of accurately relating their own experiences. In some cases, anyone who even accepts the experiences of these people is considered deserving of ridicule. When oppression by omission is occurring, the people impacted by it are very unlikely to "come out" about their experiences, not because there are explicit statutes on the books about people like them, but because the social ostracism, or perceived threat of such, is immense. In subtle and not subtle ways, most of us are taught at an early age that there is something different, or scary, or not OK about our experiences. This ostracism, or perceived threat of such, is almost always also invisible to those who do not see these minorities in the first place. The invisibility begets invisibility; with few to no positive role-models, few to no positive and empowering stories to identify with, and relentless negative messaging (in some cases through spec fic), invisibility can become the only "safe" world we know, and we can be hesitant to challenge it. Oppression by omission can take place on a small scale or a large one, within the larger social framework or within minority spaces, alone or in conjunction with other forms of oppression. It is different from what is usually recognized as "oppression," the more overt and visible forms. But it is not without often profound impact on the people who are thus erased. There have been efforts aimed at challenging invisibility, even challening the oppression by omission, in certain communities. The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network has been doing this work for a decade, and recently a documentary has been made about asexuality and asexual people. Yes, asexuals face considerable oppression by omission: check out the lovely videos made by swankivy, such as here, where you can watch videos she made about her "Asexuality Top Ten." ("You can't really be asexual, you must be...")

What do you think the context of this is? What point is the author trying to make? Take a guess before you read the rest.

This comes from the blog critpsitheory, which aims to combat the oppression of people with psychic powers. The entries date from 2011 to 2013.

It has a long list of bingo cards, a list of how to evaluate media for anti-psi bias, a list of common microaggressions against psi, and more. This is the post the quote came from, and the author goes on to say:

The concept of oppression by omission is also helpful for understanding the invisibility faced by more esoteric minorities, such as Otherkin, therians, psi/sang vampyres, or even what it's like to be part of a multiple system. To some degree, transgender people also face oppression by omission, such as "genderqueer people do not exist," "transmen are really butch lesbians who took it too far," or "trans women are all cross-dressers who want to colonize women's identities and bodies." Bisexual/pansexual people also face it. The list goes on. Now all of these experiences (and many more) are very different, and very diverse within each category. The only parallel I am drawing is that in each instance, the social master-narrative is, at least at times, one of "non-existence," and so each and every time someone tries to come forward with a counter-narrative and express his/her/hir experience of the world, for whatever reason, he/she/ze has to deal with that master-narrative in some way. It might be because someone else is shutting them down or putting them down. It might be because they have to couch their experience in other terms in order to get through someone's filters. It might be because they have to, in some sense, "test out" all the people they talk to about this aspect of their lives to see if they can accept it. It might be that they choose never to tell others, because they know that telling others is fundamentally emotionally, socially or even physically unsafe. (See this video, for example.) What does psi omission look like? It really takes many forms. It can be that psi experiences are omitted from the biographies of famous people, even when these people wrote extensively about their experiences -- such as Mark Twain (for example here, and the several articles linked here) or Konstantin Tsiolkovsky. It can be the dearth, or even total lack, of non-sensationlistic non-fiction produced about the subject. It can be discourse or study that focuses exclusively on whether or not the "claims" are "real," with little to no attention paid to the narratives of the people living with these experiences (except when the purpose is sensationalism, or the entertainment of non-psi people). It exists in the lack of realistic characters, with experiences like ours, present in "realistic fiction" on television, in books and movies, etc. -- characters who are full people (not two dimensional plot devices), characters whose role in the story is not to "do psi things" every week (or simply to be scary, or to stand there and look sexy), characters who exhibit self-determination, characters who can serve as positive role-models. It exists in the complete lack of serious support groups (in the US, anyway) for young people trying to understand their experiences in a world that denies, stigmatizes and ridicules them. It exists in "othering" language and the use of us as rhetorical sarcasm (which I will cover in more depth on this blog).

Now, whatever your personal beliefs on the existence of psychic powers, I hope we can all agree that people with psychic powers are not an oppressed group. The author lists bi and trans people as also suffering from this “oppression by omission,” and I hope we can all agree that bi and trans people actually are oppressed.

What does this tell us? It tells us that this argument is a bad one, and can be used to “prove” the oppression of any identity whatsoever as long as it’s less well known.

This blog came out of the heady days of roughly 2009-2012, when some sectors of the internet collectively discovered social justice in the aftermath of RaceFail. In the naive enthusiasm of those days, many people started creating privilege checklists, bingo cards, etc. for every identity they could possibly think of that faced societal stigma or invisibility or was not considered the norm. 

There was one popular social justice blogger at that time who argued that being able to not drive drunk was a privilege, not being a necrophiliac was a privilege, and not being attracted to your siblings was a privilege similar to straight privilege. This blogger also endorsed monosexual privilege and binary privilege (the word “allosexual” hadn’t been invented yet, but I believe she also endorsed “sexual privilege”). (I’m not going to name her because she no longer endorses those ideas as far as I know.)

There were bloggers, some of them trolls but not all (and plenty of earnest people reblogged and supported the trolls’ ideas), who endorsed the ideas of “transethnic” and “transabled” oppression, which meant that people who identified as a different ethnicity than they were, or who identified as having a disability that they did not have, were oppressed. 

Take a look at this list of personal privileges and oppressions, and “some of the oppressions and systems that kyriarchy is composed of.” (Warning: the author admits to committing sexual abuse.) I think this person was later revealed to be a troll, but they were satirizing a very real and common way of thinking.

The word “queerplatonic” came out of that time, and is representative of the ideas of that time.

“Privilege Denying X” was a popular meme at that time, and in response to the ace discourse - which was going on then and has never stopped - someone created the blog “Privilege Denying Asexuals,” which responds to ace tumblr’s rhetoric with many of the same arguments we are still using. (It’s an interesting exercise to see what’s changed and what hasn’t.)

In roughly 2013, tumblr slowly began changing courses to say that not all forms of societal stigma, discrimination, and lack of visibility were actually examples of a privilege/oppression dynamic. Materialist analysis slowly began gaining the upper hand, and now you’d be hard pressed to find someone on tumblr who thought that drunk drivers, necrophiliacs, “transabled” people, goths, furries, “vampyres,” people with dyed green hair, etc. are oppressed. In most cases where groups like this are concerned, it is no longer common for people to equate the forms of discrimination and invisibility described in this psi post to oppression.

Ace discourse is simply one of the last holdouts of this kind of rhetoric. 

I do not mean to say that asexuals are like drunk drivers in that they are harmful, or like “psychic vampyres” in that the experiences they describe don’t exist. Some of the groups that people claimed were oppressed then are real, some are not; some face real difficulty in society that should be respected, some do not; some are not inherently harmful to others, and some are. People who don’t experience sexual attraction are real, often do face difficulty, and their lack of sexual attraction is harmless to others, but that does not make them an oppressed group, and it certainly doesn’t make them oppressed under homophobia and transphobia, the systems of oppression that the LGBT coalition exists to fight.