#the world hates to see a shitposter winning

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

No transcript needed for this.

Why did he do that.

Live Chat Reactions

Audio Source

[jennifer-jeong]

hii could i request like a little drabble or headcanons for racer L&DS characters? the idea been eating away in my mind for soooo long😭😭

HELLO ANON THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASK, I SHALL END THE EATING OF YOUR BRAIN (that sounded weird but you get me). I don’t know too much about F1 (my information source is instagram reels where the racers are shitposting) but I’ll try my best to get the memes and thirst correct hehe.

[Fluff + Crack] [Racer!L&DS x Reader] Racer Boyfriend

CONTENT

Fluff, crack, gender neutral reader, the boys are F1 racers in cunty jumpsuits, ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

RAFAYEL is your typical babygirl racer man. I swear this is an entire sub population of F1 racers and I love them. He’s ALWAYS winking or kissing at the cameras and looks so zesty when he poses with his hands on his hips (especially because he’s in that tiny jumpsuit). He drives his fans crazy and they make so many edits of him LOL *cue velocity edit of him taking his helmet off. He gets very serious during races though, he’s a top racer, and can get pretty riled up when things go wrong. If you were dating the man, expect to get spoiled and shown off A LOT. He’d protect you from paparazzi and crazy fans but will never stop flexing how pretty you are on his socials. Of course you reciprocate and he thinks its so cute when you make little photo edits of you two with hearts all over them.

ZAYNE is actually kind of a mystery man. He bursts onto the scene with immediate top 3 finishes in all the big races but never takes off his helmet. He’s always calm and only ever really gives a small thumbs up to cameras and nothing more. The mask kink crazies (me) are going feral over this man. His jumpsuit shows off his muscle and his voice is absurdly deep, bro has it all. When he does finally take off his helmet, it’s due to a crash and cracked helmet. The medical team needs to check his head so he has to remove it. He starts trending on twitter after that day. No wonder he hid his face this whole time. If you’re his partner he’d definitely tell you that he only wanted you to see him without the mask. He treats you like a princess, publicly escorting you places and always holding your hand. You cheer him on from the VIP suite at every single race.

XAVIER has been the longest standing champion despite all the hate. Of course he has a lot of fans as well but being in the spotlight so much naturally brings negativity. He purposely acts aloof and stupid to piss off his haters more when he inevitably wins the world cup. Those who really know him though are fully aware that he’s just acting. He’s unbelievably good at the sport and he does it all without breaking a sweat (not literally, like he actually sweats a lot LOL). There's definitely compilations of him breaking character during interviews where he actually says something intelligent or when he accidentally rizzes up his interviewer. If you two were dating it would probably just be a really sweet relationship that all his fans adore. Even the haters would probably think you’re pretty or be jealous. He tried to shield you from bad press and you think it's so cute he cares about you instead of himself in these situations. You of course do all you can to prevent paparazzi from getting to him too but he'll still kiss you in front of them.

Thank you for reading!

|| MASTERLIST <3 ||

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2022: 40 songs, first impressions

 Wake up, bitches, it’s Eurovision time.

Next week Europeans will take over this website with shitposts, photos and memes. And so, as European and Italian, I decided to give my contribution to this noble cause by giving you all my unrequested opinion about all the 40 songs I just listened to.

Of course these are all first impressions, because I listened to these songs this same morning, so maybe I will change my mind about some of them.

In general, I don’t think we have the same quality as last year. We have some good songs, but we also have a lot of booooring ballads. Ah, great old Eurovision, bringing the best and the worst at the same time.

If you are easily offended by the opinions of a random person on the Internet, please take a chill pill. If you’re not easily offended by some friendly banters, please keep reading.

__________

UKRAINE

In a perfect world, this song would not go to the final, but we all know this is going to win, because of the current situation in Ukraine.

And it’s not fair, because this song doesn’t deserve to win. Go_A deserved to win, this one isn’t even worthy of the top 10.

Ukraine got the memo “Sing In your language” and this is good. They also brought some good ukrainian rhythm and that’s good too.

But then, they added some rap. Why? Why rap? Why? It destroys the whole song. It’s awful. And I hate it even more, because the message is nice, the song is good, but that fucking rap kills everything.

Vote: I know this is going to win and I hate that

__________

AUSTRIA

I like this rhythm and I would gladly listen to it more than twice.

At the same time, I perfectly know this is something that comes straight from 1998 or similar and this is why it sounds familiar and I like it on a deep level. It speaks to my childhood/early adolescence rather than to my adult self.

Vote: guilty pleasure, probably not worthy of the final

__________

THE NETHERLANDS

Most of the time, the Netherlands brings the same sad, boring, ballad you will forget two minutes after the song ended. But once in a while, something happens and they send a beautiful ballad.

It happened with Arcane, it’s happening again with this one.

I love this song. It’s a sad ballad, but a wonderful sad ballad. Not only is it in Dutch, so it automatically gets 10 points, but it has such a longing, melancholic vibe I can’t help but feel it. Dutch is wonderful, please use it again.

Vote: it deserves the top 10, because it’s amazing

__________

ALBANIA

Albania delivered. And they did it well.

I’m a slut for the balkan rhythm, so that one got me already. In addition to that, the song is in albanian and that means 10 more points. Sure, there are some tiny English parts, but it is a fair compromise.

Vote: good job as always

__________

UNITED KINGDOM

The song is... nice. And the singer is good too, so, well, maybe this year the Europeans will treat the UK a little bit better.

I mean, at least they tried to send a song that doesn’t make you want to jump off a cliff as soon as you hear it. Or something so boring to make you sleepy. That’s progress.

Vote: maybe you won’t get zero points this year

__________

SWEDEN

Please, Europe, let’s all teach Sweden a lesson: you’re not allowed to send mediocre stuff, just because you’re Sweden, so you will automatically get the top five.

This song is mediocre, everything is mediocre. I couldn’t bear to listen to it twice. Next!

Vote: being Sweden can’t always open all doors

__________

FRANCE

This song DESERVES the top three.

Surprisingly, it’s not in French, but it’s in Breton. Yet, it sounds so French and so not-French at the same time, I fell for it instantly. France managed to send something purely french, without the frenchness of, idk, singing a love song with the Tour Eiffel? (They did it)

Also, they got the memo from Ukraine last year, so they delivered a rave too, but a celtic one. And it’s SO GOOD! I can’t wait to see them on stage and to vibe to this amazing rhythm.

Vote: a worthy winner

__________

SERBIA

I can almost hear the singer thinking “okay, this year we’re going to Italy. Italy... Italy... mmmh, right, okay, let’s use a Latin expression, got it.”

Jokes aside, this song is incredibly interesting. I don’t always check the translation of the lyrics (especially when I do my first listening), but this time I did.

The first half of this song has a very weird lyric, so weird it looked more like a meme song rather than a serious one. I was enjoying the delightful confusion of jumping from Megan Markle’s hair, to the importance of hydration, to how to recognize if your liver is good, to the singer walking with her dog.

And then, among all this apparent nonsense, sentences appeared, sentences that hinted at a deeper message. And what started as a stupidly funny song becomes much more omnious.

Needless to say, this made me love it even more.

Vote: if this will not be qualified for the final, I will riot

__________

ARMENIA

This song was so boring and generic, I thought it was from a northern country. Instead, it was from Armenia.

I am very very sad.

Vote: Next

__________

SPAIN

Generic dance song with a sexy girl singing about how sexy she is.

At least it’s in Spanish and, honestly, I would gladly listen to it more than once. It’s nice and it makes me want to dance, rather than sleep.

Vote: Spain could do a lot better than this

__________

ROMANIA

I suppose the Romanian vampires were all busy, considering they sent Discount George Michael this year. Nice try, but please tell him he’s singing for Romania and that Romania’s language isn’t English, nor Spanish.

Or maybe he thought “Italians understand Spanish, right? Let’s use Spanish for our entry!”

The worst thing is that the chorus is catchy.

Vote: we need a romanian vampire, not this wannabe spanish dude

__________

ITALY

It’s been a couple years we are on a good quality spree and this year we delivered again some great quality.

The first time I heard this song, I didn’t like it. But I wanted to listen to it again and, when I did, I liked it. Maybe it’s because Mahmood is a great singer, maybe it’s because he and Blanco have some great voices, maybe it’s the way they hit such high notes in the chorus, maybe it’s the lyrics. But it’s good and I truly like it.

In a perfect world and if we didn’t have the Ukrainian conflict, maybe we would’ve won twice in a row. Who knows. I know that this is good and I am proud that we are still presenting good songs.

Vote: call me biased as much as you want, but this deserves the top three and you know it

__________

CYPRUS

I don’t know what kind of sorcery Cyprus uses, but they deliver good stuff every darn year. I think they sent something bad only once or twice: all other times, their songs were great.

I know this song is mostly in English, but the chorus is in Greek, there is the amazing balkan rhythm and the singer has a wonderful voice. So I am more than happy and satisfied. Thank you, Cyprus.

Vote: it deserves all of the love

__________

GREECE

Okay, can we please all make a new rule for Eurovision? If you are from a mediterranean country, you are not allowed to sing a full English song.

Last year, Greece sent a little girl with an English song. This year the girl seems older, but this song is the least Greek song I’ve ever heard. No balkan rhythm, no melodious Greek language. I could expect this from another country, but not from Greece.

Vote: extremely disappointed

__________

BELGIUM

The most surprising thing about this song is that my father glanced at the guy once without even listening to the song and said “Hey, is he Belgium’s entry?”.

The song is meh, as every Belgium song. It’s forgettable, but at least it’s decent and doesn’t make me want to sleep.

Vote: not worthy a third listening

__________

AZERBAIJAN

I don’t know what kind of problems Azerbaijan has, because I remember they used to deliver good stuff. And this one is just meh. Maybe they need some time to rest?

Vote: take it easy, Azerbaijan, and come back when you have something better

__________

LITHUANIA

Lithuania is the opposite of Cyprus: if Cyprus rarely fails, Lithuania rarely succeeds.

But this year I am even more sad for this failure, because the song is in Lithuanian! They finally presented something in their own language and it’s so fucking boring.

Vote: try again with something better. But bring Lithuanian again

__________

PORTUGAL

I learned to never expect something good from Portugal and this year I wasn’t disappointed.

Boring song, boring rhythm, boring everything.

Vote: I want to sleep

__________

ISRAEL

*squints harder*

Is this guy the brother of the Romanian guy?

Vote: there’s a thin line between an enjoyable dance song and a boring one. Guess where this song falls

__________

AUSTRALIA

Okay, Australia got the memo “Eurovision is weird, so bring the weirdest stuff you can”. First they sent us Glinda from the land of Oz, along with two Dementors straight from Harry Potter. Then they sent us a literal clown. Now they’re sending us Man-Curtain. Good job.

Also, Man-Curtain is a good singer, so hats off to him. Still, I find it acceptable, but not something I would listen more than twice.

Vote: Australia is slowly learning, let’s give them some time

__________

MONTENEGRO

If you remember this song, you’re lucky. I listened to it three times, I still keep forgetting it.

Vote: Not worthy of the final

__________

SAN MARINO

It looks like San Marino doesn’t have any more singers so, after Flo Rida, they decided to call someone closer and took Achille Lauro from Italy.

Achille Lauro is an interesting artist. He has a way with words, he’s eccentric and his messages are interesting. He’s also considered controversial because of his extra performances, like kissing his guitarist on stage or performing a fake baptism - which led to some bishops protesting because he was offensive yadda yadda. Maybe they forgot that “transgression” exists and artists are often transgressive.

Still, despite him being an interesting artist, I can’t stand his songs. I really want to like them, but I don’t. They bore me. But a lot of Italians like him, so he will probably give San Marino a good position.

Vote: nice try, still a no from me

__________

BULGARIA

I don’t know what happened in Bulgaria, because they used to deliver the best Eurovision songs. Suddenly they stopped and now they’re sending this stuff. Boring, forgettable, next.

Vote: so, so disappointing

__________

POLAND

Oh wow, a sad ballad. We really needed one.

But this one is kinda acceptable, so I will let it pass. Nothing too special, but at least it is less boring than a lot of others.

Vote: okay-ish

__________

MOLDOVA

As every year, Moldova is an absolute KING and delivers us a song that is a huge meme.

You can’t listen to this song and not smile/dance. The song is in Moldovan (+10 points), it has a great balkan rhythm (+10 points), it’s lighthearted, it’s funny and it makes you want to jump up and dance (+100 points).

This song will not win Eurovision, but it will win our hearts.

Vote: I want to take a train Chisinau-Bucharest

__________

NORWAY

Every year, one blessed country gets the memo “Keep Eurovision Weird” and puts everything in, by delivering a perfect mix of weirdness and good stuff.

This year, the blessed country is Norway. And they delivered us the most wonderful, perfect Eurovision song: great rhythm, funny lyrics, adorable weirdos on stage and an even weirder performance.

I am in love.

Vote: Top three, now. And a banana

__________

NORTH MACEDONIA

I love and hate this constant rollercoaster that is Eurovision: the moment before, you have a banana to give to a wolf, one moment later, you are entering the snooze festival.

Vote: not even worthy of attention. Especially after Norway

__________

SWITZERLAND

This song was so devastatingly boring, I couldn’t even finish listening to it once.

Vote: please, PLEASE, bring back the dance songs

__________

MALTA

You are allowed to make fun of me for my musical tastes, because I like this song. I don’t know what makes me like it, but it always happens with Malta. They could send the most generic pop song and I would love it.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me or if it’s some kind of Maltese sorcery, but I want this in the final.

Vote: mock me all you want, I still like this song

__________

IRELAND

It’s very rare I like something from Ireland, but this year’s entry? I like it. A LOT. Great rhythm, catchy song, will listen to it 200 times. Good job, Ireland, I am very happy for this!

Vote: such a good surprise

__________

FINLAND

Ah yes, I can almost hear the Finnish band: "So, we’re going to Italy. Mmmh, Italy, Italy... got it, religious references.”

Jokes aside, this song is acceptable. Nothing too special. And definitely not as strong and interesting as last year’s entry.

Vote: will probably go to the final - unless some fucking bishop has something stupid to say

__________

CZECH REPUBLIC

This song is okay. I may sound repetitive, but there’s nothing too much in this song, aside from its “being okay-ish”.

Vote: where are you now?

__________

ICELAND

Iceland learned to bring songs in their own language, which is a very good thing. However, they didn’t get the memo that the song has to be good too.

Vote: the western-ish rhythm is nice, but that’s not enough

__________

ESTONIA

Estonia has been a wonderful surprise.

The western rhythm is the last thing I would’ve expected from them, but my gosh, it’s so good. The singer is good, the rhythm is good, the lyrics are good. I love this song.

Again, mock me as much as you want: I think this song is great and deserves the final. I listened to it three times and will probably listen to it another 20 times.

Vote: even the least expected country could deliver the best surprise

__________

GERMANY

So Germany is going for the last places of the final chart once again. That’s very nice of them.

Vote: someone has to get those places, after all

__________

DENMARK

Is it just me or the rhythm of this song sounds suspiciously similar to Norways’ entry from 2014, Storm? Because I keep hearing it and I still prefer Storm much more.

Vote: bring back the Danish language

__________

LATVIA

Latvia got two memos this year: “Make Eurovision fun” and “Don’t take yourself too seriously” and they did a good job.

The song is fun with a nice message, delivered in a very lighthearted way. The rhythm is nice and makes you want to dance. Approved!

Vote: maybe not the best, but one of the happiest

__________

GEORGIA

My theory is: there was a circus in Georgia and someone decided to send them directly to Italy, where all the clowns are.

Vote: now what, this will become the next Eurovision’s must? Bring a clown to the show?

__________

SLOVENIA

Such a shame this interesting language has been used for such a forgettable song.

Vote: you will forget about this song, while listening to it

__________

CROATIA

“Would you run away?” Yes, please, run away and do not come back for the finals.

Vote: I want the double singer they sent in 2017

[xiadz]

When I was in highschool, art class was my favorite with computer class being a close second. In 9th grade I was so excited to be able to spend an entire hour dedicated only to art. My teacher didn't like me, I don't really know why cause I wasn't an asshole kid and was mostly just quiet. I suspect it was because I wore death metal band shirts and she was heavily christian, but I don't know. Every single project I did and turned in, it was an instant fail. I mean every one, not even a D mark, everything was a failing grade. I began to think maybe I just fucking suck at this but still, it was the only class all throughout highschool where I didn't miss a single assignment. The kid that sat next to me that year thought it was bullshit and even he asked her about it and she said I just simply didn't meet the required expectations. That solidified it, I'm just terrible at this. Until one day, the same dude - suggested we switched projects for the turnin and see what happens. I thought it was dumb and it would just ruin his grade but I agreed, and the exact same thing happened. Teacher marked "my" project with an F and marked "his" with an A. I couldn't believe it, I still don't believe it. That someone in a position of power like that would just fuck with a kid for zero reason other than disliking them. I wish I could tell you that I was motivated to continue art out of spite, but something about it really ruined every aspect of it for me. Despite our little experiment of swapping projects, that year ruined every perception I had of my capabilities. I stopped drawing completely, I barely painted, and anything I created I kept to myself. The idea that I would ever show anyone else things I was working on was insane, so I kept it to myself for the next 15 years. Every great once in a while I'll maybe post what I consider a shitpost equivalent of something I made, but for the most part everything else is destined to live covered in dust away from the world. & Having any piece that is associated with me and not just some random weirdo on the internet? Not happening ever. I'm trying to change that about myself, in some sort of symbolic sacrifice I took this final project we made in that very same class, which mine was a large ceramic pumpkin, and about a year ago I walked outside and just fucking smashed it against the ground. I saved it all these years sitting in my closet but I fucking resented it. I hated associating with it, I hated that teacher for making me feel that way. I hated even more that I thought about her while she probably has no recollection of who I even am. I'm still kind of unsure about publicly showing off things I've made that can be associated with me. But for the last 2 years I've been creating, and I've been enjoying it. I've been showing some friends my poster designs, I've sent a few discord strangers my works in progress, I even entered a competition a while back. I didn't win, but it isn't the point. I'm just kind of mad at myself for spending all those years doing almost nothing at all, but I'm over it. I bought a new notebook a few months ago and it almost never leaves my side. A step forward is a step forward, no matter what cunts try to block your path.

[fkyumerica]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-WowH0liGfE does she herd

facts about dalmations, oh my god get her to leave

did boy george/amber have the ugliest fucking wife inners and outers

he said it

is her whole body utters for him wtf

marilyn manson officially fucking did it

electrocuted us to steal mcdonalds

and enter in to fuck with his mom and elderly to steal all their money

and the worlds

henry ford is caught

went with 8 girls

then

he was 15

"new town panties"

dont let him surf

started skate boarding to knock out all their teeth

stupid right didnt know i did it

and to them i knocked out all their teeth, now first person they see they will attack and already dead haha i steal your wife

he is his own dad

and fucks his mom

to calm her down to leave

and gets her fat again

family orgies, smells like old people

and the old look is it too mom take off your wig

it will save you, now i wear it and hit old people

sky scraper

The Ride of the Rohirrim live in concert - The Return of the king Barcelona

jo just goes in there and shoots everyone

he pierced my ears and did my hair

that guy isnt the kurgan

he is heartless-kurgan

i dont care

do it

he wants gay old monster orcs to live

im not gonna let them live

each shit came on the ground

gum dots?

really

them?

i ride each of their horses to kill them after

cant run

anddd

we fuck her too

other side

drugs poltergeist cant get up

spirits hold them down

andd

what

they shit on me to give me armor

chariot

those guys were with gandolf the whole time

they burnt giant dads

tried to make their sons gay

i went in the castle and shot men off them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9JR5-ZecCQ he locked us out of our trailers to smash them in half

he always tried to kill alden

showed up as the guitarist once for ac/dc

and i dunno he likes metallica gay right i'll leave him there

i'll let it happen too old ones rape him

pointed at that group instead and move them forward, burnt

but its anyone wild anyways

he would just lie

that guy would get attacked evveryday

the neighbor

it might be clifford

ow ow ow in trailer park boys

did they break my tooth of because of them

probably, small

wheres the dinosaur

what present are they taking and using already

to attaack

and kill, her instead

so we got a dinosaur win a fight

kill her too, say it twice they will send more again

From the shitposting community on Reddit: How to give a kid PTSD

jimhoslovat, meant here are some to mate too and mate your offspring too then they get it they say it

every fkng day i had to kill those people

there it is got that woman oregnant and 5 girls, kidnapped him, she's with him

body bag

kevin/mike/tony was his fake name then he was anthony tscolas and anthony hernandez

and what girls too posted it on my blog

and the video of the apartments they lived in

got two women

let him in when they were asleep

kids need a home stay the night then it happened, she already mated with their dad and hey two women they were stupid it was their wives

of their dads and they were old

looks like her

thanks for the video

what a hooker

points with his thumb hey come oveeer here

and was jeffery's dad

mike's

and

josh's

yea i can stick it in there

judge book

every morning

the website

conquer all

and the boy lives just to be a hooker GET ME OUTTA HERE

I can live there because I saw a car go from here to there and I know its my family living next to me

Shes dead? We’re gonna fuck her  to him to be alive CRAZY GREAT  BREEDING LOVe then him then him then him then him

Their moms got  boys since, Spanish didn’t have a boat to save them, France stole it for it, gay love

Only this group would know the answer to their family feud, that is the show, then they say it after

I FUCKING HATE THAT BITCH IM GONNA GO INSIDE AND FUCK HER, grandma is down the street

And why, cause shes got a gross cunt go fuck him he will clean it

Half English half irish I get it, and wait in the sky scraper for old people after, after she lives in it too wtf sit I n the lobby tired I got 4 houses, fred durst. Now he wont be mad at me walked over there he fucked deedee or wtf is not fucking her I got a trend black tshirt right no hats no we’re you, surprise your family with a pregnancy they wont care

I think he told it to that other boy or he was fucking her after, goes for that

I think you did chris, for them to go at me

Scottish army then she got a wedding too, make him look bigger or show up, pregnant by two boys and one guy, Barolo, wedding singer, anyones shit (son)

The wedding singer, fred durst after, or elvis from the wedding, gotta look at a egg nest after and see if I cry, no I left her too, old ladies kissing him he can come back and her mom ripped her face off now we got three in an army keep making them scream after then walk them up to other womens privates and talk to those women from the front we do it gay

mary sue had marilyn manson(switches charles manson in the court room so her son gets out it was keep switching one in to escape prison and a court trial fake judge throw it out what note)when she slept with that older man, same one

[ladygata]

A non-fandom related 2022 reflection

I debated for a while whether or not to write this post because who fucking cares, right? But then I remembered this is my own personal little diary and while I mostly shitpost, I do occasionally personal post. And boy is this personal.

I left tumblr 10 years ago after being a college tumblr girl. Idk I guess I just lost interest and got swept away by my journey into the real world. Anyway, I came back this year because.. I’m not really sure. Maybe I missed a social media where I could be my most authentic weird self. And this year I really dug deep to be my most authentic self. And I think I succeeded. So I think that’s a win of 2022. It has been really nice to not be afraid of being who I am and just feeling good about myself.

So first half of 2022 was fine. Great even. Second half shit started to hit the fan. 2021 was one of the best years of my life so I guess I was overdue for a less than stellar year.

On the less serious side, I v quickly became stressed out at my job. I mean, it’s already a stressful job as it is but it went overdrive this year. Long story short, I had been super happy and confident teaching my previous grade level for a few years and was absolutely loving it. Until this year admin decided to move several teachers around grade level wise just for the sake of shaking things up. This left many people, including myself, unhappy.

Don’t get me wrong, I like that I’m getting experience out of my comfort zone. But I was given the largest class in the school and also a now notoriously uhh *difficult* group. I love the kids and they deserve all the love and attention in the world. But I am one person. Who is struggling. And admin never checks on me or gives me any words of affirmation. I have to hear through the grapevine that they respect me or some shit.

So all this is happening while my husband and I begin Trying to Conceive (TTC). I very quickly actually become pregnant. And then very quickly become not pregnant.

That was one of the hardest days of my life. I was alone while my husband was away and utterly broken. I’m almost glad no one was home to hear the sounds that came out of me. Honestly I am proud of myself for how I was able to handle myself but I’m still so angry and devastated that I had to. I’ve alluded to this in some of my personal posts but why should I hide it? No one here knows who I am and sometimes I just want to scream it out. But I can hardly talk to anyone about it because I don’t want anyone to know and pity me. Of course my husband and parents and a few close friends know but I force myself not to bring it up even when it’s constantly on my mind.

It has been months and I go back and forth between thinking i am being overly dramatic and making too big a deal of it and thinking I am not making it a big enough deal. It happened so early and it happens to so many people. But I just never thought it would be me. And maybe it’s worse because it’s been one of my deepest adult fears. And let me tell you it fucking sucks seeing so many pregnancy announcements and feeling the bitterness rise behind all my happiness. I hate myself for it. Thinking why did that person get to get pregnant immediately and have the perfect little family. I don’t mean it. I’m so happy for everyone. Honestly. I think it’s mostly my self pity. I know these are natural feelings but it still hurts.

It’s been a few months since and nothing yet. To be fair, it’s still pretty early in our TTC journey. If the miscarriage never happened, I wouldn’t be so distraught. But now fertility fears haunt my every waking move. There’s a good chance I could get some great news pretty soon, but it’ll be haunted with the thought “what if it happens again?”

Sometimes I hate that I want this so bad. I’m tired of thinking of it every day of my life. Especially when aside from this, I have a pretty great life. I have to force myself to remember that I’m truly living my best life, happily authentic like I mentioned earlier. I’m pretty good at Dealing With It and continuing to be happy while also being sad. But man it has sucked.

This took way too long to write and for what. I guess I was needing to get it off my chest. And maybe if anyone actually reads this or relates and feels seen. Then I’m glad. I know it’s nice not to feel alone. I am absolutely open to chat about this too. Cool great now all of tumblr knows the sources of my mental battles lol.

Anyway, I am forever the optimist and believe there will be good things to come in 2023. I just have to be patient. Enjoy the little things. Indulge my weirdness and obsess over media. I’ll keep being proud of who I’ve become because I do think my 13 year old self would be pleased.

Ok I think I’m done. And maybe I should also get a therapist in 2023.

[bigskydreaming]

ANYWAY.

Current mood is contemplating an AU wherein Boone (yes that Boone, its been too long since a Dick and Boone shitpost so off we goooooooo) anyway, so AU wherein he graduates from his League of Shadows training around the same time Dick becomes Nightwing, and since I headcanon Boone having known who Dick really is for years because he’s not a complete dumbass and Dick Grayson is a fairly high profile figure and it doesn’t take a genius to look at a picture of him and recognize him as “aka Freddy Lloyd,” I mean, they did live together for weeks or even months.....

POINT IS, so Boone is all done with his training and sees Nightwing bigwigging it up with the Titans and then sees there’s a new Robin in Gotham, and all these thoughts come together in a perfect storm for Boone to be like LETS PLAY “WHAT IF I GO FUCK WITH FREDDY!”

SO. In this AU Nightwing and Shrike’s confrontation slash reunion happens before he ever moves to Bludhaven to be a solo act and when he’s still based out of New York, and actually takes place in Gotham during a period when Bruce is out of town on an extended mission or something, as this Shrike figure starts stalking Robin and Jason is like UMM HELP GIRL, I mean not that I need it CUZ I DON’T, but like if you want to come help with this weirdo I guess that’d be alright, we could hang, its cool.

So Dick trainsurfs down to Gotham all quick like a bunny and is like waaaaaait a minute, this guy calls himself Shrike? That’s weirdly specific, I knew another Shrike once......and Jason’s like maybe this is the same guy? And Dick’s just all umm no, he’s dead. He like, died and stuff. He made like a corpsicle. Definitely not him, its gotta be someone else....oh fucking hell, its Boone. Of course its Boone. Why did it have to be Boone?

And Jason’s like who the fuck is Boone?

Dick shushes him distractedly. Nobody. There is no Boone, only Zuul. Eat your vegetables.

Jason: You are the weirdest person alive, and that’s saying a lot, I live with Bruce. What is going on right now?

Dick: Nothing? *examines himself in a mirror that is actually just a broken piece of window glass procured from yon surrounding rooftops* Hey how does my hair look? Is it wavy enough? I feel like it could be more wavy.

Jason: Is your hair - what? Dude, is this Boone guy like your ex-boyfriend or something?

Dick: Please. As if. He wishes. Also I knew him when we were like twelve. Or eleven. Maybe ten. I forget. It was definitely pre-pubescent though.

Jason: That’s not a denial.

Dick: Its also not an admission and also stop being smart and insightful, its rude and I did not ask. Besides, its not like I’m trying to look good for Boone, eww, he’s a loser, I would never. I’m just trying to look BETTER than him.

Jason: Ahh. Well. That’s different then.

Dick: See? You get it.

Jason: Not even a little bit. If this is what puberty does to you I want no part in it.

Dick: Too late. Its already begun. I spy hairs on your chinny-chin-chin.

Jason: What kind of bizarre Three Little Pigs segue is.....who ARE you right now?

Dick: Stop victim-blaming me for my discombobulation! I haven’t seen Boone in years and he could be here any second now and he already has the lead, I can not let him confront me in a state less than poised, suave and sophisticated, its just the RULES.

Jason: Well you’re off to a stellar start. Why is it so important you win this whatever this is with whomever Boone is and also are you still going to therapy? I feel like maybe not and maybe that was a mistake.

Dick: You’re a terrible little brother, just the worst. And okay, look. Its complicated, see. I met Boone at a very specific time in my life when both of us were kinda floundering in that verb kinda way, not like the Little Mermaid kinda way.

Jason: Stop using similes. I’m begging you. It hurts.

Dick: THE POINT IS......we were both.....kinda lost, at the time. Aimless. Looking for purpose. And one of the things we both ended up kinda turning to in search of that purpose was like.....our natural competitiveness.

Jason: Wait. You’re competitive? You? OMG THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION.

Dick: I hate you. You are a blight upon the wheatfields of my soul. NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I WAS MONOLOGUING. Okay. So. Boone and I, we kinda fell into this cycle of eternal competition, that was intensified by us not really having anything else that was OURS at the time, so it became sorta like....the only thing that mattered? If that makes sense?

Jason: Weirdly, that’s the first thing you’ve said all night that DOES make any sense. Okay. I’m keeping up. Continue.

Dick: So it was like constant one-upmanship. If I snuck in somewhere without a trace, he had to sneak in better. If he was unmoved by being surrounded by dead bodies and gore, I had to be more unmoved. If I escaped from a deathtrap in half the time expected, he had to halve that when it was his turn, and if he made it through an obstacle course while bleeding from a leg I had to beat him while bleeding from both legs, look it was this whole thing.

Jason: Wait, and you knew this guy when you were ten? Where the fuck did you two even MEET? Jason Voorhees’ Little Daycamp of Horrors?

Dick: ANYWAY. The point is everything is about competition with us, it always has been, and like, he’s the only person who was ever able to keep up with me at least at the time and just like I was the same for him, and so we hated each other because we were both mad at the world back then and hated everybody and everything, especially the one and only other guy who kept showing us up, but at the same time, we were closer to each other than anyone else in the world at the time because we were the only ones on each other’s same page and able to stay on that same page so there was like.....weird solidarity in that? Idk. I TOLD YOU IT WAS COMPLICATED.

Jason: No, its okay, I get it. So what happened?

Dick: Oh, our mentor died and Boone thought it was all my fault. His name was Shrike too and given that Boone’s here now and calling himself Shrike, I’m guessing he still does.

Jason: .....uh huh. Was it your fault?

Dick: Only a little bit! It was mostly gravity. That bitch.

Jason: Ooookay, not touching that one. So. In conclusion: he’s.....here to kill you then? Or he’s not here to kill you then.....?

Dick: Oh he’s here to kill me, but ONLY if he can beat me first. If he can’t beat me, then no, he’s not here to kill me, just whine, wangst and moan at me.

Jason: And by beat you, you mean at.....having wavy hair?

Dick: At EVERYTHING. Ugh, were you even paying attention?

Jason: Oh yeah. I’m SO glad we cleared all this up. Next time, just simplify and explain he’s your childhood frenemy turned actual nemesis.

Dick: Huh. Yeah, y’know what, that does pretty much cover it....

Jason: Who you totally want to bone due to unresolved and conflicting feelings stemming from your brief but intense time together in your formative years as well as and compounded by your neurotic obsessive attraction to hyper-competent individuals who challenge you on physical, mental and emotional and even moral levels.

Dick: What the....a) you’re wrong, b) STOP STEALING MY PSYCH TEXTBOOKS and c) you could not BE more wrong.

Jason: Your hair looks flat and lackluster. He’s totally gonna beat you there.

Dick: You’re the actual worst. 

[bular]

Welcome to Live Commentary

I had no one to talk to while watching the movie and I hate being alone with my thoughts so I wrote everything down in my notes app. It's not coherent! Enjoy!

Aw yeah 1.5 seconds of Bular that is all I needed! Might as well stop now I've seen my boy I'm satisfied.

Why is there a nearly 4 minute recap as if I haven't watched the show at least 50 times. I should be the one giving the recap.

The beginning felt a bit forced to me but maybe that's just me? Like they just tried to squeeze too many things into a small timeframe without any buildup, it just didn't really work. Congrats on the engagement! This is my OTP so I'm very happy! But it came out of nowhere.

Nari in Douxies body is so wrong and I love it and hate it at the same time (positive)

Eli is BIG. I knew he was gonna be tall but I was not prepared for that chiseled face. Or the fact that he stepped off the ship without glasses? I wear glasses and I would not choose to step off a spaceship blind.

OkAY who had mpreg on their bingo card?

AAARRRGGHH actually said a full sentence 🥺 there is no heterosexual explanation for this scene and I'm here for it

Arcadia being the center of the universe really does make a lot of sense. I hate how much sense it makes. Despise it.

Strickler in a Christmas sweater is something i didn't know I needed. Jim's jacket too but that's just adorable, Jim's adorable. Oh sweet baby you're about to get fucked over so bad.

Love seeing Barbara actively participating in battle too. Good for her! Power family!!

Where are the kids tho? Is NotEnrique babysitting? Either that or they hired the girl from the Incredibles movie.

Nomura is so talented I love seeing her fighting on the good side. I can't explain it but I love digitigrade legs they're just so pretty?? Aesthetically pleasing??? Fuck yeah, legg! I could watch Nomura run around and be badass all day.

WAIT NO OH SHIT HOW DARE YOU FUCK

STRICKLER DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE NOT YOU TOO THAT'S TOO FUCKING RUDE DON'T DO THIS TO ME

THERE'S NO WAY HE'S DEAD RIGHT WE SAW NO BODY

Barbara does not deserve this I refuse to accept it. He's fine he'll be back they wouldn't kill two Changelings at once. Also Nomura is with Draal now I take no criticism.

So my favorite characters were Bular, Draal, Gunmar and Angor. And before this movie I always half-joked that everyone I love dies, how I still like Strickler and Nomura but apart from them all of my faves were killed in the very order of favoritism. AND NOW LOOK AT THIS. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LOVE A CHARACTER. MY LOVE IS TOXIC.

OKAY I LOVE GUN RO- WAIT NO I DON'T LOVE HIM FUCK ABORT ABORT

It's great tho omg

I didn't realize it was Gun Robot when I saw it in the trailer this is amazing

Okay but imagine you're chilling in your trollmarket minding your own business when some misfit group of strangers waltzes in, steals your favorite shiny and celebrates your death before running off

"I AM GUN ROBOT" IS THE HORN LMAOOO

Nana better show up at some point to reunite with her boytoy, I'll cancel this entire franchise otherwise

Something bad is going to happen to Toby isn't it. He's getting too much screentime

Jim's hand got DEEP FRIED

ARCHIE NO

We can play Scrabble okay if they don't free them (which they must) I want an after credits scene of them playing scrabble

Douxie and Nari's bond 🥺🥺🥺

Nari pls just say what you fuckin mean the world is ending

Oh god is she going to remember killing Nomura oh nooo

Claire don't make the portal you will die again. Your hair gon be white all over

EVERYONE AVOIDING THE SCHOOL JUST RIGHT THERE LMAO RIP

I love how Darci is just with the school bus. Civilian girlfriend. But also love how the world is ending and Coach is like "fuck that I'm gonna teach these kids"

Does he know his son is pregnant

"Going back to the city where it's safe" buddy have you been to that city

Whatever happens, Nari has the coolest looking titan. Giant four legged gremlin. I'd adopt him.

WAIT SHE CAN FEEL THE PAIN?

Me: oh i love that titan

The titan 5 seconds later:

Did Nari just fucking die what the FUCK

Oh of COURSE the pages are stuck together RIGHT THERE

Seriously tho how do you not notice an entire nougat nummy in a book

Wait so Arcadia has another heartstone? Or OH SO IT'S ALIVE. OKAY GREAT. GUNMAR COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT HUH

Love how the Heartstone has been dormant/dead for months and apparently heard Blinky say it's alive and decided to wake up RIGHT THEN

Finally they're evacuating the city. This is like, the third apocalypse there. About time.

Okay so you can't pull Excalibur from the rock, but you CAN carve out the stone. Couldn't you just carve it off the sword as close as possible and like. Use that? Just swing the whole damn rock around?

God i can NOT get over Steve's pants. I mean I read a spoiler he was gonna be pregnant but I thought it was a prank or shitpost. I did not see this coming and I am never going to be over it. I love how he and Aja just roll with it and nobody else even cares. They've seen weirder stuff. So he's pregnant now. Whatever.

Jim's hand is bandaged and his ribs still hurt. I love that they're actually consistent with his injuries. I mean sucks for him but hell yeah for hero that doesn't always win!

Okayyy here comes the heartstone. Why not!

IS HE IN LABOR

So if you kiss an Akiridion 7 times you will have 3-5 babies in a few hours. How are they not overpopulated?? Also Aja couldn't have WARNED STEVE BEFOREHAND?

Eli is so supportive omfg

So uh where are the babies gonna come out of? I'm not into mpreg how does this usually work

OH STEVE THANKS FOR ASKING MY QUESTION

Oh good thing he happens to have 8 friends still alive. Otherwise this would've never worked. Nomura had to die otherwise there would've been 10 of them.

Why is everyone bowing to Jim? Did they rehearse this?

Stuart if you hadn't taken a bathroom break you would've thrown off the math and doomed the world. That was a poop of fate my man

Ahhh the signature quote. Where did Douxie and the Akiridions learn it? Did they rehearse this too? It's really cliché but I do like it tbh

If Strickler were dead we'd see more Barbara right?

WOOO BLINKY DRIVING

Ah Jim just used she/her for Bellroc! Finally we're learning some pronouns. I've been wondering this whole time.

MY VIRGIN EYES. WHAT IS GOING O N

How are they not dying with all this lava?

She really just yeeted Varvatos

Did Claire just tell AAARRRGGHH to jump off the titan and he did it without question

I want to say I like Stuart and want him to have more screentime, but I won't say it because I don't want him to die

Jim's poor ribs

Toby can drive yoooo

Tobyyy you're scaring meeeee

So did they really need the different stone or was the amulet just waiting for Jim to choose death over giving up

I saw the armor before but it looks VERY COOL

Also I didn't mention this before but I love that they cut Merlin's name from the incantation. Good for them.

Toby you lost your helmet noooo

For real tho I'm terrified for Toby rn. I saw a comment somewhere earlier that just said "Toby no" with no context and I am AFRAID

So do Bellroc's eyes work after all? I thought she was blinded back in Wizards in the past.

DID SHE JUST FUCKING STAB MY BOY

TOBY YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE GET OUT THE TRUCK

Bellroc maybe screaming "i'm powerless" in front of your enemy isn't the best idea

She sploosh

DID JIM SURVIVE THAT FALL AND ALSO IS THE TACO TRUCK OKAY

How is he lifting Claire like that buddy you have bruised ribs and just got stabbed

ELI HI CAN WE SEE THE KIDS

SEVEN KIDS! AND ELI JR I LOVE IT

This show really loves to give people more than the recommended amount of babies with no warning huh

She immediately knows which one is Eli Jr 🥺 okay listen I'm not the biggest fan of comic relief sideplot surprise babies, but I have to admit they're cute. Cute couple. Throuple. Eli is in on this. He even has a Junior.

I TOLD YOU WHERE'S THE DAMN TACO TRUCK NANA WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU AND NEITHER WILL I

Oh yea he better fuckin be alive I will commit murder

HE BETTER FUCKIN BE ALIVE BITCH

FUCK YOU

THAT'S A WHOLE ASS CHILD HE ISN'T ALLOWED TO DIE IT'S ILLEGAL

JIM IS GONNA LOOK DOWN AT THE GREEN GLOWING BITCH AAARRRGGHH CONVENIENTLY THREW THERE AND SEE HIM ALIVE OR SOMETHING

YEAH USE THE SWORD TO UNDEAD HIM! THAT'S HOW YOU USE SWORDS!

Unbecoming Part 2

So is Jim just gonna Groundhog Day it until everyone is fine? There's only 13 minutes left we're gonna need a bigger movie

Also I screamed so much about everyone's death and now everyone reading this after they already saw the whole thing is gonna shame me for clowning huh

The scene where Blinky is giving his goodbye speech, there are no babies and Steve has a round belly? Did he reabsorb them?? I mean I know Jim is about to un-birth them but he hasn't started yet

JUST HOW FAR BACK IS HE PLANNING TO GO

WAIT HOLD UP EXCUSE ME WHAT

Oh they did NOT just do that. I though he was just gonna go back to like, the start of the movie maybe. Not all the way

Imagine being in your early twenties with as much trauma as this kid has and having to pretend you're 16 again

Somewhere Unkar is complaining because "oh sure NOW it's a good idea"

I know Jim is wondering where Toby is because he was there before. But before, he made an entire meatloaf AND did his homework before leaving the house, so honey maybe wait a minute

For a second I thought Toby wasn't gonna be there and Jim would return to the right time. But there he is!

Alright so they're in school now, did they take the canal and just didn't mention the amulet on screen or did they pass it as if the Unbecoming episode hadn't been that traumatizing? Jim you know what happens when you ignore it

Jim maybe you're being too obvious here lmao

Soooo. Anyway. These whole past years I've rewatched this show over and over and over again are cancelled now?

OKAY AT LEAST WE SAW NANA FOR A SPLIT SECOND THAT'S IRONIC TIMING

So we get the quote again. And Trollhunter Tobias is nice. Cool. Cool AU I mean, but I don't know. I don't knowwww. I've been way too invested in everything to just accept that it never happened?? So uh. Hm. How about this.

Strickler survived because fuck you, and Toby also survived and just has scars now. Maybe a wheelchair but he's fine, also he can use the Warhammer for super speed and make it awesome once he's used to it. Archie and Charlie get freed once they rebuild the bridge (and they were playing scrabble to pass the time). Nomura is still dead because she died on screen and I can't really deny that but she's with Draal so it's okay. Everyone is traumatized but they'll be fine. NotEnrique is still babysitting 500 babies and Steve is about to bring 7 more.

In summary, I reject Groundhog Day ending but everything else was great, as long as it actually happened. It was a good movie. But you can't just cancel years of passion. Having the prospect of a million "canon AUs" sounds great for writing but at the same time nooo you can't do that he didn't have to go back THAT far HHHHH

I liked the movie. It was a great watch and a satisfying end to a franchise, but I gotta say I do not fancy the ending of it so I will from now on be in denial. I honestly feel kind of betrayed that this show was my whole life for so long, I learned every smallest fact, and they basically deleted it from existence. I know what they were going for, I think, but no thank you I will be going with my own opinion. Still gonna rewatch it a few dozen times though ✌🏻

And that concludes my live commentary that was supposed to be a small handful of notes. Feel free to shame me for my opinions. See ya!

[soranis-sunshadow]

Hordak: The power-hungry Warmonger

I’ve had an interesting chat with someone on Twitter that prompted me to make this whole post. (I had a shitpost TLDR post that sort of sums this up concisely) 

This is a very long post so brace yourselves, grab a coffee or some warm tea and lets start! 

The premise was that Hordak is unambiguously evil and that even with Horde Prime out of the picture, he’d go back to conquering the planet.

And I quote “That's where you're wrong he would still be doing this, he was so absorbed into gaining more power and conquering etheria he would still doing Prime or no Prime” - his words, not mine.

I pointed out that there is no evidence to support that assumption in the show but someone else added: “ “no evidence of that in the show” did u forget when prime literally pointed out that he was conquering etheria in *his* name and secretly wished prime wouldn’t come??”

That line keeps popping up in a lot of the arguments against Hordak. The specific line is this:

 The argument that they (people that hate Hordak) try and make is that Hordak wanted Etheria for himself to rule it as its absolute despot. To... “colonize” it so to speak.

What Hordak did was to wage war on the planet for decades in his misguided crusade to conquer it in Prime’s name. He hurt countless numbers of people and destroyed their homes.  That is undeniable, those are his actions. Whatever extenuating circumstances he may have (have a post about that too :D ), he is guilty of being a warmonger and a despot and he created the Etherian Horde then lead it in his bid to conquer Etheria.

There! straight out of the horse’s mouth ^

I don’t agree with the term colonizer that twitter folks keep throwing around a lot. Bear with me for a bit please. I know that it is a term that is heavily loaded for a lot of people.

The argument I make against that specific term is this:  In order to colonize a place, you need actual colonists to settle and slowly replace the indigenous population. Colonization has long term effects that can be seen centuries later. If I were to point out colonization in action in SPOP I would point out The First Ones. They are the ones that started settling on Etheria, evidence of their presence is throughout the place in the whole show in the settlement ruins and technology they left behind.

They bound the planet’s magic with their magitech so that the locals couldn’t access it. (Something Shadow Weaver was salty about) Only the First Ones descendants that were connected to the runestones I.E. the princesses have any access to it. The princesses still hold dominion over the planet’s magic millennia later. The natives are relatively powerless and the princesses’ subjects still. It’s worth pointing out that the princesses are despots as well.

That is what colonization does to a place. It takes the power away from the locals and gives it to the colonists so that the latter may thrive, have power over them and in time, replace the natives and erase their culture.

Hordak waged war but despite his background of being a brainwashed cultist he never stifled the individuality of his underlings, he never seemed to care much about them at all as long as they were helping further his goals. 

If anything, he’s a weirdly unenthusiastic warlord, as @cruelfeline​ pointed out in one of her excellent  posts. 

To quote her post “ And of course now, post-season four, we know that he appears unenthusiastic in his role because he is. His goal was never to be the uncontested Lord of Etheria. He doesn’t gain any real self-respect or satisfaction from having people grovel before him. He was never interested in actually claiming that as his goal, his source of personal achievement and identity: it was all a means to a very sad, very painful end. He doesn’t want to be “Lord Hordak, Ruler of Etheria.” He wants to be “Hordak, second in command to Horde Prime.” He does it all because he needs his brother to accept/respect/love him. “

He is not a kind boss, or a good one by any measure but he doesn’t replicate Prime’s brain erasing technique for whatever reason nor is he a self-absorbed narcissist like his progenitor. The Etherian Horde is made of Etherians, Hordak and his robots. 

And notice one thing? Most of those Horde members are not first one descendants. Strange huh?

So long as his underlings serve, they are rewarded. Even if they fail, if the reason for their failure is explained and they do no lie to him (to his face), they are given a chance to redeem themselves. After the defeat at the Battle of Bright Moon, Catra’s loss is rewarded because she had proven her competence.

If I were to liken his actions with anything in the real world, I’d be more inclined to call his war a Crusade in Horde Prime’s name. Prime was his God and Hordak was religiously motivated to do the horrible things he did because his god wanted them. That is what he has been indoctrinated to believe; Noelle said it, not me. He was a brainwashed religious zealot, not a colonizer. This is how he’d get back into his god’s good graces after being born a sinner (defective).

This is how he thought that he would prove that he was worthy of being by his god’s side despite him being disabled, he could still be useful to Prime, he could still serve. If he were useful, he thought that Horde Prime would not throw him away again to die.

Crusaders too believed that, by waging war on Muslims and the Orthodox Constantinople (the fourth crusade), they’d get into Heaven. They were violent and they were terrible but they believed they were doing good in God’s Name and that their actions were necessary. *they were not, and they were terrible*

 Back to the “to my will” line. Taken out of the sentence, one could say that he’s conquered Etheria for his own ego and to satisfy his power-trip.

  The whole sentence is this: “I’ve conquered this world for you, to show you that I am worthy, so that I may retake my place by your side. I have bent its people to my will.”

He explicitly states that the reason he did it was to serve Horde Prime.

It’s not the first time Hordak has said this. He said it to Catra before. He was not scared  and trying to explain his actions to his master then. He was not begging for mercy and acceptance while on his knees.

And Catra understands him, she understands his need to try and prove himself to an authority figure and earn recognition. It’s what she had wanted from Shadow Weaver all along.

She sees herself in him after his little declaration. It’s why she is able to give him this speech in the same episode: 

“Get.Over.IT! You don’t need Entrapta. You never did. You don’t need a Princess in your life telling you what to do. Look at what you’ve done without her. You’ve build an army. An empire! You and me, we don’t need anyone. Forget them all. No one matters, nothing matters but this mission. You want to prove yourself, prove your worth? Then do it! You and I are going to conquer Etheria. And then, they’ll all see!”

That is why this line of Catra’s in season 4 finally motivates him to quit moping after Entrapta and actually get some proper conquering done.

 He even shows a good tactical understanding on how to  wage a war of attrition, a war he could eventually win due to the replaceable nature of his robots, unlike rebellion soldiers. 

Without DT’s interference and without the needless pushing their soldiers over their limits (causing mass desertions under Catra’s command), Hordak would have eventually won. Slow and steady would have won him the race but Catra wanted faster results.

This is his motivation, the same as Catra’s: to prove his worth. To seek validation and acceptance from a higher authority figure, his master, maker and literal god.

Catra proves herself a kindred soul, she understands his need for validation and his feelings of worthlessness, the harrowing self-hatred both of them endure, and together they amplify their worst tendencies. They go both into a negative spiral in season 4 and yet, they both provide a strange companionship to each other. They form a bond based on their mutual understanding. He even includes her in Horde Prime’s theoretical acknowledgement:

If he had actually wanted to conquer Etheria for himself and rule it, staying in Despondos away from Horde Prime would have given him the perfect opportunity to do so. He’s actually remarkably competent at conquering when he does it himself instead of relegating it to his mooks.

Sea elf village: 10 out of 10 would conquer again XD

What does he do instead? At first he looks for the portal events that appear naturally on the planet’s surface thinking that Horde Prime would come for him (that’s how he found baby Adora - he didn’t steal her. Light Hope lied about that trying to manipulate Adora).

When he becomes aware that Prime might not be able to come for him because of the planet being in a different dimension, he spends most of his time locked away in his sanctum working on a portal device that is supposed to reunite him with Horde Prime. 

Why would he do any of that instead of staying on the planet and ruling it for himself if that was his motivation? It makes absolutely no sense for him to do any of that if being the sole ruler of the planet was his intent.

Another line that was brought up was this one:

The time that Prime is referring to is Hordak’s time spent with Entrapta. That’s why the shot lingers on the place her Crystal used to be. The crystal that had LUVD written on in. The scene is being quite specific in implying that this is the time that Horde Prime speaks of:

He is sad to go and leave her. When she mentions that they keep working on it ‘till it’s perfect, he smiles at her in agreement.

 That is the only time Hordak even lets himself consider a life without Horde Prime and it doesn’t last long. Once Catra lies to him, the prospect of a life on Etheria with Entrapta is no longer possible. Her message about imperfections being beautiful and of him being intrinsically worthy of life, even without Prime is painted as a deception. Catra convinced him that Entrapta had deceived and used him, that he had been duped all along.

The only path left to him, as far as he knows, is back to his master.

Neither of those lines are in-show irrefutable evidence of his intention to rule the world. One would argue that Horde Prime punished him for his intentions to rule a world by himslef. To that I respond with this:

This is the crime that Horde Prime punished him for: Hordak had dared to become something other than a mindless, indoctrinated, slave; he had asserted his own will and individuality in whatever small way by becoming a person and taking a name.

So Horde Prime nipped in the bud. 

If his clones were ever to assert any individuality, will or preference, if they ever stopped serving with blind devotion at a crucial point, they could become a threat to him.  

He was right of course:

Hordak shooting Horde Prime whilst the latter was concentrated on hacking The Heart of Etheria was crucial in distracting him from this:

Hordak’s little defiance may have been short lived, since Horde Prime has such disturbing power over his clones and immediately possessed him, but that little distraction was enough to buy precious time and to force Horde Prime to the planet’s surface where Adora could get to him. If he had been defeated whilst in orbit, Prime could just have jumped in the body of any other clone throughout the universe.

Hordak’s actions aided in Prime’s definitive demise.

Another argument against Hordak is his last declaration to Horde Prime.

Hordak’s speech to Prime is not an affirmation of him going back to conquering Etheria. It’s Hordak telling Horde Prime that he’s a person and he has a right to be one, to have his own will.

-          You  created me to serve you and your will, but I have a right to be more than that.

 -          I am a person, an individual, I have a name, I am not just a mindless tool. I have lived things in your absence.

-          I have experienced unconditional acceptance and affection.

-   I am a person and I deserve to have my own thoughts, feelings and my own free will. I defy yours. You are not my master any more.

 Nowhere in his speech is it suggested that he’ll go back to conquering. He just wants to be free of Horde Prime. Entrapta is alive and the alternative to a life in servitude to Prime is available again. He chose her over his own God. That is the only choice he made. Not to go back to conquest or kick puppies and orphans. He chose to be in her presence rather than His.

Sadly, he is only free of Horde Prime 3 minutes before the show ends. Any apology for his actions in Prime’s name made in those last 3 minutes would have been half assed and unsatisfying. He has a lot of reparations to make as redemption for his actions. Regardless of the fact that he was indoctrinated, literally programmed since his creation and that is the reason why he did what he did, people were hurt, homes were destroyed and he has to redeem himself for that and make long term reparations. This couldn’t have been believably addressed in the time left. The show-runner Noelle mentioned in one of the Podcasts that he does reparations after the show. I wish that had been part of the series and not an observation after it. Perhaps, seeing that would have quelled some of the vitriol aimed at him. (and at his “stans”- real people getting hate and bullying for the crimes committed against fictional Etherians)

The message of this show is forgiveness, acceptance and redemption. The characters are complex and they all have their respective shades of gray in their characterization (except Horde Prime who is basically Nyarlathotep). I don’t understand why the fandom is so divisive and so intent on pitting them against each other and villainizing one or the other in an attempt to make their own favorite character more morally superior. Can’t we appreciate all of them and the parts they had to play in the story? 

Whew! That was one long essay. I am as always, open to discussion on the topic so long as civility is maintained. Have a nice day!

@garnet-xx-rose​ gets credit for helping me put my thoughts in order and for adding interesting points to the argument. Thank you Garnet!

[randomized-ice]

ROOT Reformed

Okay so you know how Yamato, Sai, and Shin were in ROOT? Well, what if Yamato had seen the two children, one so sick he was throwing up blood and the other so antisocial he kept getting bullied because of how he talked, and adopted them? The Dad!Yamato, and Child!Shin and Sai headcanons that nobody asked for coming right up :)

When Yamato first met Shin and Sai, Sai was hiding behind Shin because he accidentally insulted someone and got punched. Shin was trying to comfort the small boy and protect him.

Yamato then decided to adopt them both, he scared away the bullies and helped Sai cover his black eye, which looked worse than it was since Sai’s skin is so pale and markable.

When Yamato learned that Danzo was sending the two small children on B-Rank missions as PAWNS and they just barely survive all their missions, he personally whooped Danzo’s ass

Yamato was put in charge of Shin and Sai and the two children warmed up to him quickly

Yamato chasing Shin around the room trying to get him to eat vegetables

Yamato having to force veggies down two screeching kids throats

Shin and Sai doing target practice and Yamato tallying up the scores

Yamato training Sai and Shin on their jutsu

Yamato helping Shin reach his full potential with his ice powers

Yamato finding out how to make pieces of paper so Sai could draw all he wants

They have a huge garden in their backyard that they take care of.

Yamato growing different types of plants with his wood style jutsu and Shin and Sai reading books on how to take care of them

On Christmas, Yamato sneaked Shin and Sai out of Root so they could go to an actual party

Yamato introducing Shin and Sai to Kakashi

When Shin and Naruto first met, it was chaos at first sight

Sai following Yamato like a lost puppy and holding on to his pant leg until Yamato picks him up and put him on his shoulders

Yamato, Sai, and Shin cuddling by the fire like the smol beans they are

When Shin got really sick from his unnamed diease, they immediately went to see Tsunade, even though it took a week to track down the gambling lady

Tsunade getting full access to Root’s medical supplies so she can make sure Shin is okay

Shin surviving and being cured of his illness, NOT DYING BECAUSE HELL NO YAMATO WASN’T ABOUT TO HAVE HIS CHILD DIE, NOT TODAY SATAN

Sai and Shin keeping their memories and growing up with an actual parental influence

Yamato chasing a cackling child with a huge butchers knife around the house, both of them are yelling

Sai being the sassiest little shit in the world and everybody thinks he doesn’t know what he’s doing but Yamato’s just like “You sneaky lil’ shit-”

When Sai got to join Team Seven with Yamato, they brought Shin along as an ANBU “for the mission” when really, they didn’t want to leave him behind and come back to find the house destroyed

Yamato trying desperately to find where the hell Shin is getting all this cup ramen from and Sai is just not telling Yamato because he’s a lil’ shit

Shin third-wheeling with Kiba on all of Ino and Sai’s dates (Kiba third-wheels on everbody’s dates, its a fact)

KIBA x SHIN, KIBA x SHIN, KIBA x SHIN (I’m sorry I just need my dog boy-o to love somebody okay??)

Shin just randomly came home one day holding Kiba’s hand and Yamato immediately adopted him

IRUKA AND KAKASHI SHOW UP AND BAM (Yes, this is KakaYamaIru. Shhh-)

Naruto and Kiba calling each other “Brother” bc their father-figures are dating

Sai and Ino being quieter about their relationship than Shin and Kiba but they’re literally so damn cute oh my lord

Shin and Kiba going on dates that are mostly composed of running around the woods and chasing rabbits but they love it anyway

Yamato being a Proud Dad™

When Danzo died and the family got their curse marks removed and became real Leaf Village citizens they were overjoyed

Suddenly, the Leaf Village had about 100 more extremely talented teenage shinobi at their service

Yamato re-opening Root but this time, making it into a friendly place where everybody is supportive of one another

Sai and Shin helping people understand that they’re not alone anymore and it’s okay to have friends and be original because you’re one purpose in life is not to be a pawn for the Leaf Village anymore

Sai getting to decorate the ceilings of the Hatake Mansion with whatever designs he likes, making it not only beautiful but deadly

The Hatake Mansion having designs of tigers, birds, flowers, and symbols all over the roof

Murals of the person in their rooms (Naruto has a silly fox one, Kiba has a dog one, Kakashi has a lightning one, Yamato has a garden one, and so on.)

Yamato adopting Shino bc we need our bug boy to be noticed (COUGH COUGH NARUTO)

Shin running around the house, chasing a bee that stole his homework

Shin becoming a super energetic gym teacher at the Academy

Sai becoming an elite jounin and having a custom, crop-top uniform

Yamato becoming the nicest leader of an ANBU division there’s ever been

Shino and Sai being weird shitposting edgelords together

Sai and Ino baking cookies together only to find that Shin, Kiba, and Naruto ate them all

Iruka managing the chaotic household while being constantly cuddled by Kakashi and Yamato

Iruka teaching Sai about friendship and smiling

They have a huge ass garden

Yamato helping Ino and Sai at the Yamaka flower shop

When Sasuke returned, he was immediately adopted

The Hatake Household of Chaos

Sasuke, Shino, and Sai being weird shitposting edgelords

Anko as the weird aunt who came around only to fuck shit up and leave

Gai as a weird uncle and Lee as their favorite (and only) cousin

Kakashi making breakfast and dinner for about nine hungry people

Yamato making all the kids little lunches

When Orochimaru came back to the village, Shin and Sai both made sure that he was five feet away from Yamato at all times

They only began to trust Orochimaru when Sasuke told them that Orochimaru was his sensei/father-figure and the supporting father figure he never had

Orochimaru apologizing to Yamato for testing on him

Orochimaru becoming a father figure to Yamato and Sasuke

GRANDPA OROCHIMARU

Orochimaru and Shino talking about bugs and snakes

Shin, Naruto, and Kiba chasing a yelling Orochimaru around the house with a bunch of marigolds and ammonia (snakes hate those)

Iruka trying to make peace with the marigold and ammonia welding children and a terrified Orochimaru

Tsunade coming over to see her favorite little brat (Kakashi)

GRANDMA TSUNADE

Tsunade secretly supplying the children with marigolds and ammonia to get back at her old friend (Petty revenge is a bitch)

Orochimaru tricking Sai into calling Tsunade old

Tsunade never sending Jiraiya on that mission alone, she sent Kakashi with him and they managed to win the fight. Barely, they were in a coma for a few weeks, but they sure as hell won.

TSUNADE AND SAKURA BEING ABLE TO HEAL ITACHI AND THEN ITACHI WAS ADOPTED

HATAKE HOUSEHOLD OF PURE AND UNRESTRAINED CHAOS

[planetchii]

THE NICHIASA SHITPOSTING REPORT

TIME IS A MANMADE CONCEPT. ALSO KNOWN AS I THOUGHT I ALREADY DID THIS.

IN THIS EPISODE: AN AOZORA ELECTION DAY SPECIAL, A DISGRUNTLED SISTER TEACHES THE FAVORITE SISTER HOW TO FLY AND THE ZENKAIGER TENNIS GRAND PRE.

Tropical Rouge: It's the start of the general election season for the Aozora Middle School Student Council. And good news everyone, you can't be student council president of a middle school when you're going to be promoted to high school. That means that Asuka's ex is at the end of her term limit, and it's time for a new, fresh face to run the school. And Laura knows just the person to bring Aozora Middle School into the new golden age of rule.

That person is Laura.

I mean, what's a student council president then good practice for her rule as Grand Ocean's Next Top Queen? This should be easy. I mean who wouldn't be on board for changing the name of the Student Council President to "Queen", or having classes in the ocean or mandatory fish tails or something. Obviously, she is the best candidate. Forget that other candidate the disciplinary committee's Masami or good candidate Rika. Obviously, Laura is Sakuragawa Sensei approved.

Meanwhile, the girls are reminded that Asuka also has a backstory. Much to the surprise of absolutely three people, we're told that Asuka was once part of the Tennis club, and was doubles partners with her ex. Local bibliophile was quoted as saying, "I didn't think it was important." Seems Laura also agrees, as she wants to discuss her lofty goals, which causes her cabinet to have to revise her plans to something more doable.

Meanwhile, Chongire has some things to say about the current state of political affairs and demands an audience with the Presidental Candidate and her choices for cabinet positions. But it turns out that leaving the final speeches is an auto-disqualification. Saving the world does not matter in the political world. Honestly, it was unfair and some real fake news #stopthecount hours. Laura even told the assembly that she would be back. What's wrong with waiting like, 5 minutes? This was obviously a ploy to keep the smug fish from power. Oh well. At least she'll have the Grand Ocean.

Revice: After saving his sister Sakura and his "She's a girl, and a friend but not a girlfriend" girlfriend Ayaka, Ikki... still refuses to sign the contract to make him a magical girl employee of FENIX. This leads to his brother to rage quit the simulation and do something useful like his actual stamp collecting job.

Meanwhile, Sakura goes to look for her friend. After such a terrible ordeal, it's always best to check on your friends. But Ayaka's mom didn't know where she was. She felt no need to keep track of such people because she wasn't the favorite child. Only one of them was going to be her meal ticket to riches, and it wasn't going to be her non-idol daughter. But it's okay, because Ayaka found a new job, with new friends, and a new uniform and sparkly shoes. Hey, wait a minute...

Back at FENIX HQ, George is dealing with Daiji insisting that this time he can transform. THIS time he'll be successful and won't chicken out of putting the belt on, let alone stamping it. George promptly tells Daiji that his OS is woefully out of date and not even compatible. Meanwhile, while Daiji is being told he has to do a complete system overall to be software compatible, a concert is going on! Headlined by Ayaka's sister's idol group. Everyone's having a great time and dancing to the song. Everyone but Ayaka at least, who just wants her mom to look at her. When she still has no time for a non-idol daughter, Ayaka finally decides it's time for a Pokemon battle. Since Ayaka's mom doesn't have a Pokemon, Ikki and Vice transform to fight the Kong Pokemon in place of the mom. And with the encouragement of her new friend, the girl in the baseball cap that looks suspiciously like Angelina, Ayaka evolves her Pokemon using herself as an evolving stone. And the Kong Deadman's first mission: See if Ayaka's sister can fly. I'm sure if she believes, she can do it. This leads to Family Fight Round 2 between Ikki and Daiji because both are far too prideful and/or thinking of ways to make more money for the bathhouse.

Meanwhile, Daiji decides to offer an olive branch in the form of a new stamp, after both of them talked to their mom separately, who told both of them to knock it off.

The next day, Ayaka decides it's time for her sister to show off her night-long training for flying. And what do you know, her mom starts to actually talk to her. Ayaka will now get one (1) hour a week, uninterrupted with her mother without her sister. And with a patented Rider Kick (TM), Ayaka was separated from her leveled-up Kong Pokemon and Ikki wins the PokeBattle.

And finally, Ikki signs the contract. And Vice celebrates by watching someone Photoshop Ikki out of a family photo.

Zenkaiger: Yacchan and Magine go on a girls' day out to a nice cafe to have some fancy pastries without any wackiness involved. Such as a nice, calming day.

Meanwhile, Kaito is just trying to make some deliveries. Kaito is just trying to do his day job. Too bad boyfriend #2, Stacey, has decided that he hasn't had nearly enough alone time with Kaito and he will not be demoted in favor of the pirate. But Kaito is determined to make his mail rounds and tells him to meet up with Yatsune at Colorful. His not!grandma will be happy to fatten him up on more ice cream.

That's not good enough, and they will throw down now. At least Secchan told everyone what's happening between the two.

Left all alone with all the fancy baked goods, Yatsune waits. At least, until Tennis World shows up for the baked goods to turn everyone into tennis balls. The Tennis World is out of them you know. They can't play tennis if they have no balls. And people are abundant. But Yatsune comes to help! After helping the civilians escape, Yatsune bravely grabs her Geartlinger, and transforms into... wait, I'm being told she doesn't have a Geartlinger.

I'm now being told that she is being told that she does not have a Geartlinger. And now she's a tennis ball.

Coming to fight is Zox, because he's been home bored. While the group (and Stacey from his tsuntsun corner) is checking in with the newest tennis ball in the block, Vox is told by Tennis World that the only way to beat him is by tennis.

"So we will have a Tennis competition." -Vox, 2021

It turns out that Zox isn't just a manga otaku. He's a tennis otaku. And he picked up tennis because of his favorite manga, The Prince Pirate of Tennis. When Vox goes into a fandom, he goes in hard. And makes it his mission to make sure that the entire Zenkaiger group is at least not embarrassingly bad at tennis. Of course, when I say "Zox picked up tennis because of his manga" I of course mean, in that 10-minute discussion about the actual threat. But he's still better than the rest of the group.

At least Kaito is also slightly better than the rest of them. Also, good on Kaito for wearing his pride over his heart. Or at least I think that's his heart, I'm bad at anatomy.

We now enter into a cool, 90's montage which may or may not help with their backhand. So does Stacey, who turns out to be actually good at the tennis thing. Especially when all of his boyfriend's teammates are losing to rigged tennis. After Stacey puts on his best Prince Pirate of Tennis costume, he promptly shows how he is the 5-time Kikitopia champion of Rigged Tennis. Because the only thing Stacey loves more than tennis is hating on Tennis World. And Stacey promptly breaks the mask of the Tennis World and walks off. This gives the opening for the Zenkaiger and Twokaizer groups to finally beat the Tennis World, then beat the Dai Tennis World.

Zox even complements Stacey, which is met with a resounding "Fuck Off."

Back at Colorful, the two teams are given new celebratory towels and relay a story to Yatsune that "Satoshi" is pretty good at the tennis thing. Much to Yatsune's happiness, and Stacey's confusion somewhere else.

[apileofglitter]

A Fucking Rant

feel free to disagree. I just needed to scream into the void lol.

I hate inspirational videos and assemblies. No matter how good your intentions are, they make me want to crash and burn. Giving me a 7 step list on how to succeed activates every self-sabatouring, society-hating nerve in my body. Trying to inspire me without my asking awakens a special kind of frustration that dreams of quitting.

It reminds me of public school, and I mean that in the most insulting way possible.

Tell me I have to want to succeed, and see how much I don't. Sorry, but I'm a stubborn bitch. And if I say anything to anyone, I don't get taken seriously.

Tonight, I was going to do all my homework. I had to talk myself into it. And it was going to work. But now I'm crying.

Because honestly, any shitpost on Tumblr is more inspiring than an inspiring speech. Because it doesn't remind me of the system that is the source of half my mental issues. It doesn't tell me that my value lies in what I produce and how I please society. It makes me laugh. It makes me hit like and/or reblog and send a notification to the poster in return.

Despite how far I've gotten in school, I am not a "successful person ". I graduated high school with a two year degree because I did things my way and because I was loved. Any time I succeeded was when I didn't want to follow any personal plan, I just talked myself into doing it. I know what my mental blocks are. There tough to overcome, but I can do it. The thing is I HAVE TO DO IT, because nobody else really knows how to handle them, or how fragile my motivation is.

Actually paying attention to tonight's motivational speech was a mistake. Perhaps next time I'll draw while pretending to take notes, hoping to tune it out. Maybe I'll pretend to need the restroom. I don't know.

Don't tell me to want success. I don't, and I probably never will. I want to survive. I want a better world for my and other future kids. Success is a means to an end, and I refuse to pretend that's not the case. Ideally, I would be valued for my soul and my love I have for others. I don't want to hate myself for not fitting in with the ideal of success. Success is a construct and it's bullshit.

So yeah. Fuck your inspiring speech. Fuck your books and famous people quotes and 7-how-tf-many step plans and growth mindset bull. I am growing. You cannot stop me because I am a stubborn bitch. Every day I become more loving of myself and others. I control my destiny. I am stronger than my fucked up mental health, and I will win on my terms. I know I can't be alone when I say this: speaker, I'm happy you're successful and grateful that you want to help. But for the love of everything sane, please stop.

[adhdeancas]

Sunset Sound: Gallows Pole

In the midst of the Lawboy shitposting, a Sam-centric chapter to see what he got up to after Dean went to hell. Special thanks to my bro @friedchickenangelwings for keeping me in check forever and always, I wouldn’t be able to do this without you.

Sam sobs. He can’t help it; he can’t do anything else. His big brother’s body is impaled on the post in front of him, the ground is littered with beheaded bodies, and two little boys are crying outside somewhere in the dark. And he can’t stop crying.

“It’s not okay. It’s not!” 

He tries to take back those words that had made his brother leave, but Dean's chest doesn’t shudder back into life, and it won’t. It hangs there, heavy and lifeless, and it always will. Dean is dead. 

And for what?

When Sam’s head starts to pound from the tears, he finally takes breaths to calm himself. Common sense floods back into his head and overtakes his grief, and he pulls Dean’s body off the stupid rusty nail that killed him. He lowers him to the ground and closes his eyes, because he can’t bear to look at his dead stare any longer. 

He doesn’t want to leave the barn. He knows he has to, but he doesn’t want to leave his brother there all alone. That’s what Dean had always been most afraid of: being alone. He stands frozen to the spot for more minutes than he should, trying to reason with his grief. Finally, finally, he wins, and he turns around to see his breath in the air before him. Sam immediately gasps, another desperate sob coming from nowhere, because the night isn’t cold enough for that.

“Dean?” He screams it. “Dean!” It’s gotta be him, Dean’s a ghost, Dean’s here, Dean’s trying to talk to him. “Dean!” 

“No, I’m sorry, Sam.” Kevin Tran flickers to form in front of him, pity and sadness in his eyes. “But Dean’s okay.” 

Sam rubs his eyes. He thinks for a second he’s hallucinating again, that losing Dean for real broke down all the sanity he’d built over the years. “K-Kevin?” Though he didn’t know it was possible, his stomach takes yet another plunge, like a boulder has just been dropped on him. Kevin’s incorporeal form shakes into being the thought once more that he did that, his hands killed Kevin, he’s the reason Kevin is a ghost. He’s in a room with the corpse and untethered soul of two people he loves and two people he watched die.

As if sensing all the ways Sam is shaking apart, Kevin nods and starts to reach out before realizing it would be no use. “Yeah, Sam, it’s me.” 

“But- w-w why?” Sam curses his voice for failing him, curses the shaking that sobbing left him with, curses it because he needs to be strong now. For Dean. “Why didn’t you help us?” A ghost would’ve been a great thing to have in a fight! A ghost could probably, I don’t know, push Dean away from a deadly-sharp hook on the wall? If Kevin has been here, why- “Is Dean in the veil? Can he hear me? Dean!” 

Kevin throws a gust of air in his face to get his attention, and it hits Sam like a slap. He looks back at the ghost, wideyed. Kevin looks apologetic. “I don’t have a lot of time, but you need to calm down. Seriously.”

“I can’t calm down-”

“No, Sam, you need to calm down.” Kevin looks upward nervously, as if he’s expecting to see some big figure raise the roof of the barnhouse up and peek down at them. “I’ll explain, but first thing you need to know is: Dean’s dead. He’s in heaven, and he’s in trouble.” 

---------------------------

Sam drives the Impala at exactly the speed limit, eyes dried to the point of aching. Dean’s wrapped body is sprawled out in the back seat, and if Sam just glances in the rearview mirror he can almost pretend he’s just passed out. Just had one too many shots of Cuervo and conked out so his little brother can drive. Sure. Whatever gets you through the night. 

Dropping off the kids was easy. Traumatized kids don’t say much, don’t ask too many questions, and they’ll forget the shellshocked stranger that saved them soon enough. Either that or he will haunt their nightmares, but Sam can’t help that. He can’t help anyone at this point, covered in dirt and blood and exhausted. He drives out to the middle of the forest anyway, Kevin’s words on a loop in his head. 

“You have to be normal. Chuck can’t want to watch you at all. So just play into his game. Pretend to only care about Dean, get out of the life, settle down.”

Sam had frowned, Eileen instantly springing to his mind. Surely he can care about her, right? “But-” 

“No, Sam, I’m sorry. Dean told me to tell you that Eileen… it’s just too dangerous. He likes you two. He’s gotta hate your life so much he doesn’t want to see it. It’s gotta bore him.” 

So Sam burns his brother's body in a forest alone, with only Miracle for company. There’s a dagger in his chest that tells him he’s betraying everyone he cares about, including Dean. Dean wanted a big funeral. He wanted his whole family there, not just his brother and a dog. And Eileen. There are three unread texts and a missed video call from Eileen already. Apparently Kevin hadn’t visited her yet. To let her know. 

It doesn’t take Sam long to leave the bunker. It just feels like a punch to the gut at this point. That table over there, carved with their family’s names, that’s where he and Dean swore they’d be free. They swore they’d get everything they wanted and everything they deserved. And now Sam has one pillow on his bed and an empty bunker full of the possessions of dead people. 

He knows there is a plan. He knows that. And it should comfort him, but it doesn’t, because he still has to live his long, boring, lonely life without the woman he loves or the family he misses or the brother he mourns. Time on Earth is torturously slow. 

The small things make the ache in his heart just a little lighter. He finds a job he likes, teaching history and the classics to teenagers. He remembers his old English teacher, and he tries to be that to kids that need it, kids that remind him of Claire or Jack. He gets to see Jody and the girls once every few years, a risk that he knows is worth it because it keeps him going. He can’t see Eileen. It would hurt too much. They both agreed the one time they called. He keeps learning ASL anyway, and he tells the story of him and Eileen meeting (slightly modified) to the kids in his class. 

He finds a wife. It was one of the things he put off, but after three years he knows he has to get on with it or he’ll get depressed. He needs someone, even if she is boring and too-nice and entirely too gullible. She’s nice and he’s good to her, but he can’t love her because she’s not real. Not in the way that Eileen is. She might as well be a blurred out mother figure action doll, for all she knows. And he hates himself for marrying her, when she deserves someone who finds her boringness interesting, but he knows this is what Chuck expects. He expects Sam to marry a nice woman and have a kid named Dean and grow old always hurting for the old times. Oh, and Sam does. 

He’d rather be back in the pit with Lucifer than this domestic djinn dream, but he reminds himself every day that someday they’re going to get rid of Chuck and then he’ll be able to live. Dean too. Cas too. And Jack. Sam’s going to kill that son of a bitch if it’s the last thing he does, living or dead. And it looks like it’ll be dead.

His fiftieth birthday has come and gone when Kevin finally comes back. The lights in Sam’s classroom flicker and go out, and then Kevin is there, chest heaving. He runs to the chalkboard and picks up a piece of chalk, and Sam’s talking as he writes. 

“Kevin, how’s Dean? Any updates on what’s happening in heaven? Is Chu-Jack okay?”

Kevin turns around, irritated, until he sees the look on Sam’s face. “Yeah, listen, everything is… fine. We’re working on it. Look, the important thing is that you get these ingredients-” he points to the chalkboard, “and perform the spell. But listen, it’s gotta be next week. Friday. There’s a full moon, it’s… you gotta make it happen.” 

Sam’s eyes bulge. “Friday? Kevin, what the hell, a little notice would be nice! How am I supposed to get-” he looks past him to the hastily written ingredients. “These ingredients are insane! It’lll take me weeks just to fly around the fucking world to grab them!” 

Kevin throws his hands up, looking almost as stressed as Sam. “Listen, man, we’re doing our best up there! Time is fucked up and we’re trying to be sneaky and it is a lot of pressure!” he finally takes a deep breath, which seems to help. “I’m sorry, I know it’s too much to ask, but we have no choice. Call a witch friend for the ingredients, summon Rowena and let her in on the plan. It’s Friday or never.” 

He flickers out before Sam can even reply. Apparently the stress and talking like that took too much out of him. Sam’s left alone to say “Sorry,” to an empty classroom. He sits down heavily at his desk and runs a hand through his graying hair. 

He copies down the ingredients and the spell and it’s then that he knows he definitely needs help. Luckily, he knows who to call. 

The phone rings so long Sam thinks about hanging up, but he picks up just before he can. “Sam!” Max sounds winded, and the first thought that enters Sam’s head is not appropriate for the occasion. 

“Hey Max, you got a second? You’re not…” busy? Jesus, Sam is blushing.

Max laughs. “Nah, you’re good, man. What’s up?” 

God, to speak to someone who understands his life again. To really get to talk to them. “Uh, it’s kinda not the kind of thing to talk about over the phone. Can I drive to you?” 

---------------------------------------

“Hey, Rowena,” 

Sam’s natural state is apparently social awkwardness now. Dean would say that had always been true… No, not the time to get sidetracked with that sad shit. He shuffles his feet again and adjusts a candle, waiting for Rowena to appear. He’s fifty fucking years old. He’s fine.

“Hello, dearie.” 

Sam grins at her, but is once again met with the sad eyes Kevin always gives him. “Fuck, can everybody stop with the dead brother horrible life shit?” She doesn’t look taken aback, no that’s not Rowena. She looks more like a school principal that just got told off by an 8th grader, surprised and a little offended. Sam softens a little bit. “Sorry, I just- listen, I get it, okay? My life is fucked up and it’s all a lie to beat God, I know. Can we move past that and get back to the saving the world stuff?” 

A slow smile spreads across Rowena’s face, and she pats him on the cheek. “There she is. Hello, Samuel.” 

Sam rolls his eyes. “Hi Rowena, how are you?” 

“Oh, just dandy. Tamped down a few ne’er-do-wells, not a problem. Being worshipped every day is hard work, but I manage, somehow.” 

“I’m sure. ‘Jack’ giving you any trouble?” 

She waves a dismissive hand. “I’ve barely seen the boy since he took over. Apparently he’s much more interested in watching his little short films in heaven than anything down below…” Sam’s got a question on his lips but she waves that away too. Too little time to explain the intricacies of eternal family drama that heaven is currently. “It doesn’t matter. I have free reign, which means I can pop in for our little soirees.” 

Sam nods, grateful that that’s true at least. He hands her the list of ingredients and the spell and watches as she studies it. “Problem?” 

“Hm. No, I can do that.” She looks up brightly at him. “I’m the greatest witch of all time, Samuel. I’m more worried about how you will accomplish it.” She looks down at his summoning ritual and bends down to correct a chalk mark with her finger. “You’re a wee bit rusty.” 

Sam scoffs. He’s missed this. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I called up my friend Max, Max Banes. He’s going to help me out.” 

“Max Banes? Hm.” For a second, Sam thought he saw something flash across Rowena’s face.

“What?” 

“Nothing.” She shrugs it off. “I’ve heard of the witch, that’s all. He’ll be good help for you, I’m sure. Now, Samuel, if you’ll excuse me… Underworlds to run and all that.” She steps away, but Sam stops her before she can disappear again.

“Wait!” He hugs her tightly. She only resists for a moment before she returns the hug, a light tap on his shoulder. “Thank you, Rowena.” 

“Of course, Samuel. Until next time.” 

She’s gone with a puff of smoke and Sam is left hugging air.

tag list (ask to be added or removed):

Tag list: @dochunterwitch  @justonecitizenoftheearth @gnbrules @purpe @castiel-is-a-cat @alienapparatus @damian-janus-pendragon

[gayoperatorgunclub]

Hi, we have yet to officially meet on Discord and I wanted to say welcome to the group. I noticed that you are open for asks, so I was wondering if you could tell me about your opinion of the Rook x Doc pairing and some hcs? If it bothers you then it's okay I understand

hi!!!!! thank you so much for the warm welcome!!! ALSO thank you for respecting my personal opinion and comfort about rook x doc!!!!! since i really like the possibility for a sort of father/son relationship between them, i’ve done some hcs from this list for them. you can read it as romantic if you want, but i’m really just vibing with these ones. i hope you enjoy!!!!

How do they feel about people shorter/taller than them? - gustave is completely comfortable with his height. he’s tall enough to not get made fun of, and short enough to be able to be comfortably held by his s/o. julien, on the other hand, will threaten every operator who’s taller than him. he has leaped onto oryx’s shoulders from above, attempted to tackle sledge, decided he would only spar against amaru, and, when drunk, has tried to perform WWE moves on montagne. he is the epitome of “i will beat you the fuck up. no cap. *punching noises* bitch.” 

What are they like on social media? (What’s their username, profile pic, etc.) - gustave knows how to operate social media, and is familiar with certain niches on many of them, but doesn’t have any accounts of his own. he just doesn’t really care enough. there is a fanpage of him on instagram, courtesy of twitch and julien. speaking of, julien has an account on twitter, instagram, snapchat, and vsco, and is extremely active on all of them. here’s what he uses them for:

twitter: shitposting and venting

instagram: aesthetics and vaguely confusing/threatening updates on his life

snapchat: chaos videos of him and twitch being bastardous

vsco: aesthetics and horse pics

Their sexuality? - gustave is either gay or bi (really just depends on the mood, just understand that he is under no circumstances straight. he’s just not. don’t do him dirty like that) and julien is gay but drinks an infinite amount of respect women juice (gustave does too but he also gets pegged by his hypothetical gf so 👀👀👀) 

Preferred weather? - gustave absolutely ADORES rainy weather. people have found him lying face down on the patio during thunderstorms, just. vibing. meanwhile, julien loves it when the weather’s sunny and warm, with fluffy white clouds in the sky. his ideal date is a picnic out on a prairie where they can cloudgaze, and maybe, if they stay long enough, stargaze as well

What’s their sleeping schedule? - gustave has no sleep schedule to speak of. when he next collapses is purely up to the gods. he has slept for 72 hours straight, and he’s gone a week on several well-timed 30 minute power naps. julien, meanwhile, is a bit of a health nut, so he is very serious about his schedule, specifically, when he eats, excercises, sleeps, wakes up, everything has a specific time slot. at the same time, he can and will get up in the middle of the night for a snack, prompting gustave to set up a surveillance system with speakers so if julien tries to eat their supply of ice cream, gustave can yell at him. this has led to julien avoiding the kitchen after dark because “god resides there after-hours” 

Favorite music? - gustave likes classic and new wave rock (think the Beach Boys, Queen, The Talking Heads, David Bowie, Elton John, The B-52′s, Depeche Mode, and many others) but he also really likes music in general, so he doesn’t have a real favorite. julien will only listen to a genre he describes as “gay yearning and longing with hints of faerie and cottagecore aesthetics” so, hozier and cavetown. 

How’s their cooking? - gustave is a culinary mastermind and julien nearly burnt down the kitchen making microwave ramen

It’s movie night, what movie do they pick? - i think it was @juduseye that wrote about gustave loving Casablanca, and honestly that hc is 🔥🔥🔥. i think julien would pick a movie like Princess and the Frog, Mulan, Atlantis, and other movies from disney’s “weird” period

How would they hold up in a pillow war? - they are masters of pillow warfare. they are sworn allies, and team up against everyone else in rainbow. they win every. single. time

What’s their sleeping position? - gustave is either starfished out on his bed, or curled up around whoever he’s in bed with. julien sleeps on his stomach, cuddling with his pillow

Who do they go to for comfort? - EACHOTHER 🥺🥺🥺

Something small that they enjoy? - gustave loves his collection of plushies and fleece blankets, and julien is VERY proud of his model train collection 

How do they feel about physical contact by others? - they both welcome it with open arms. they’re built like friends. made to cuddle. certified to be huggable. in some countries, they’re actually registered therapy animals 

What is enough to bring them to tears? - for gustave: loss, death, and thinking about that one comic of a meteor with a hat that says “i heart dinos” holding a map of “dinosaur world” (earth) and looking so excited BUT IT’S THE METEOR THAT CAUSED THE EXTINCTION OF THE DINOSAURS AND IT DOESN’T KNOW THAT IT CAN’T VISIT THEM BECAUSE IT’LL CAUSE THE DINOSAURS TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i also start crying whenever i think about that fucking comic) 

julien: same as gustave but add people having low expectations of him, making fun of how young he is, and sarah mclachlan commercials

Biggest pet peeve? - Bigotry. and chewing with your mouth open

How well do they take care of themselves? - they both claim to be self sufficient but gustave legally can’t drive and julien tried to soften butter in a microwave but ended up with an electrical fire

What’s something they like that may be surprising to others? - gustave adores fashion niches, and julien knows everything about the legend of zelda

Do they consider others family? - uhhhhhhhhh, YEAH

Any bad habits that they have? - gustave: no sleep, blames himself for everything, is lactose intolerant but eats ice cream daily 

julien: midnight snacks, yelling at the tv, fighting anyone taller than him

What’s their idea of a perfect vacation? - for gustave, either a trip to a city with a lot of historical sites and museums, or a trip to his family beach house. vibe. chill. fuck nonstop. for julien, hawaii. that is all 

Do they get lost easily? Will they ask for directions if they are? - gustave will never admit it, but he gets lost walking in a straight line. he gets distracted!! undiagnosed adhd check! julien knows where things are and how to get to them, based on other places and landmarks, but he really couldn’t tell anyone else how to get somewhere 

The strangest thing they have ever seen? - gustave once walked in on tachanka in drag. now they watch drag race together. julien is consistently the one to find gustave lying face down on the balcony during thunderstorms. it’s worrying

How well do they accept advice? - gustave is too nice to say anything to someone’s face, but unless you’re one of the very few people he trusts enough to accept advice from, he has to resist the urge to do the opposite of what you advise. meanwhile, julien is constantly receiving advice, but in reality, he’s one of the most wise people in rainbow. it’s just that he says things like “take it easy. BUT TAKE IT” that make people think he’s a hot mess

How much do they swear? - gustave will only swear in worst case scenarios (which are more common than he cares to admit), and julien likes seeing the scandalized looks on people’s faces when they hear him cuss someone out 

Do they like being in pictures? - gustave will allow like three people to photograph him, because he likes their style and knows they won’t do him dirty with angles and such. julien is self-conscious about his smile, so he usually does it to em in group pictures

Is there anything they’re bad at? - gustave is terrible at pronouncing certain words, and julien doesn’t do well with limits

What’s their morning schedule? - gustave: wake up, pray, eat, go to work

julien: wake up, hit snooze (x10), be late for work 

Any past injuries? - gustave’s terrible computer posture has finally caught up with him, and now you won’t see him without an ice pack for his lower back, and julien is too young to have any chronic injuries, but he has broken his arm during training 

Something that disgusts them? - gustave hates long hair. it’s just so stringy and it makes him gag!!! he also hates stringy cheese because it makes him think of long strands of hair and all of a sudden he’s physically nauseous. julien can’t stand holes. trypophobia ass bitch 

[parvqueen]

actual thoughts about that finale:

- as a michele/nat stan, i LOVED the first half - i still hate the eoe (you were all voted out for a reason!! go home! goodbye! stop trying to kill ethan!) and the firemaking challenge to determine the final 3. yes, making fire is a part of surviving in the game and i can see how they’d want to incorporate that to go alongside the social part of choosing who goes with the final immunity winner to final three, and therefore choosing who should duke it out to take the last spot. yes, the excitement of it is hard to deny; it’s just too much of a crapshoot for my personal taste. - i can’t believe natalie actually went with sarah to the well to talk game and that tony’s sky shack actually fucking worked. they have all seen tony play before. they know he had a spy shack. why wouldn’t they think he’d be listening in when his closest ally wants to talk to them? it’s mind-boggling! he is way too good at this game (and reading people, and somehow avoiding falling out of the tree and breaking his cover/leg) - uhh, was sophie okay at final tribal? didn’t even look at the camera when she voted :( at least she looked great based on that brief glimpse we saw of her on zoom - since i’m used to people taking queen! legend! r.obbed g.oddess! etc. jokes and shitposting way too seriously on reddit (idk what it’s like here. this is tumblr, after all)... i don’t actually hate the fucking jury lmao. they can vote for whoever they want. they all have their reasons and we only see a tiny slice of what life is like in the game for them. it’s simply disappointing to see good female players get few (or no) votes when they arguably deserve, like... at least one? and to quote the idiot i saw on r*ddit, no, certain players aren’t “lesbian” for wanting to vote for women, whatever the fuck that means. no one is saying men should never win survivor ever. even i have never said that, and i like to be bombastic and usually not serious when i talk about survivor. and this is a social game involving people (who, last i checked, are social creatures) and the reasons why people do the things they do and see things the way they do doesn’t happen in a vacuum. god forbid people want to think about the way the world works, even when it comes to our little tv shows - ben essentially quitting to seemingly help pad sarah’s resume was just weird and disappointing. obviously since i’ve never played the game, nor starved myself on an island for 30-something days, i can’t say what the physical and mental stressors are in that situation, and how those can affect your decision-making. still! weird! - i really hope michele doesn’t have the idea that she didn’t deserve her win hammered into her mind any more than usual. the way things played out for her this season was both devastating and thrilling at times. i’m glad her sister was at least able to be by her side as the votes were being read. i also wish we could’ve known if she brought up all the fire tokens she had bequeathed (ugh) to her. MICHELE DESERVED MORE, DAMMIT - i also hope the idiot survivor fans will leave this cast the hell alone. enough of the players have already quit social media after getting reams of nasty comments. just stop. just stop fucking attacking people over their HARMLESS opinions regarding a game show, and stop attacking the people playing said game when we see less than 20 hours of what happened over the course of 39 days (unless you’re [redacted] from ioi)

- needed more llama

- yul

[mariogoetze]

blog/important update

hey lads, with the most recent absence due to covid-19 i had a lot of time to think especially in general and about my future. in that time i also thought about tumblr and blogging and after being here for almost a decade i decided now would be the right time for some major changes. you can read them right below, thank you!

i’ve been on tumblr for a long time almost a decade if you’d like to say. i’ve had the pleasure to meet a lot of nice people, sure some encounters were here and there not nice, but most of them were very good and helped me to develop on this site. honestly back then when i joined this site i really didn’t know how it worked i used 3 different tags for the same person and i wrote in my posts 2 languages going a few sentences first with german and then switching to english afterwards. luckily i’ve met a lot of great people who’ve helped me to develop on this site and helped me to grow not only as a blogger but also as a person, which i’m really grateful for. even tho this site is a hellsite i still learned a lot of things which i was unaware of before and there were also things which i managed to develop which i’m proud of. at this moment i’d like to thank all of those who’ve helped me in the beginning and those through and through my road bc they made my journey on here really amazing filled with lots of joy and also lovely moments as well, so i’m really grateful. i’ve really experienced all kind of things here the world cup 2014 was probably one of the best ones but also emotional matches were the fandom stuck together and sometimes some wins were amazing to celebrate and there were even some defeats which made the fandom closer and let’s not start with all those memes and shit posts which made the interacting really delightful.

with more time on being here and with more inspiration and motivation i received i edited through the years and it was really great. from shitposting, to making memes and to edit pictures and to create gif it was really a hell of a blast! back then when i first joined this site i thought i’d never be able to make gifs and some years later i developed which was really a special moment for me. people telling me they enjoy my edits made me really happy and all the amount of support i received meant really a lot to me. so if you’re reading this and you’ve supported me and my work then let me tell you: thank you. it really warms my heart and i appreciate it.

but to speak now about the major changes on my blog and the update itself, let me start with saying that there are 4 major reasons why the changes will happen. let’s start of with..

1. schedule - my schedule after summer will change which means that i’ll have to work quite a lot and that won’t change anytime soon. as an editor it takes quite a lot to make actually edits (depending on what you edit and how much) and i don’t think that once i come home at 6 pm that i would like to make edits for an hour or so, if you get me? i would rather relax, listening to music, perhaps go to the gym or do something else. with my new upcoming schedule in the near future it will make it hard for me to be posting much at all as i don’t really have the time for it anymore. i dealt before quite well as i had a good balance with my studying, i will continue my studying in the future but for now i will switch to my education and hopefully in the future i will finish what i started and become a teacher.

2. fandom - interacting is one of the key things on tumblr. sure you can just make your posts and go by it i mean in the end tumblr is there to space out, i’ve been enjoying my freedom and to be able to post whatever i want whenever i want and just letting my creativity full out it was really great but nowadays i feel like more and more people are dying out on tumblr, sure they are for example nice and funny people in the bvb fandom and i do enjoy them very much but i still feel like compared to 5 years ago there is a major difference. a lot of my friends have left the fandom, those were people who inspired me to post and in general to be an active part of this fandom, sure they are still great people (shootout to all my mutuals) in it which like i said above really enjoy but i still feel like we got a lot smaller and it’s kinda less fun? i mean it’s still rolling and going but with a lot less fire than it used to be.. at this point i would like to say that i’m not trying to ruin anyone’s fun i mean if you’re still enjoying what you do then that is wonderful and please keep it up. for me the fire just got smaller and the desire has shrunken tbh. i think it’s logical tho i mean when people leave you enjoyed interacting with and also the the dynamic of the fandom changes and the club also with coaches and players it does make sense. those who are currently there are doing a good job and they kept me motivated till my last breath to keep me going so i would like to thank all my mutuals for being lovely human beings. i feel like in general you need to take more care at what you write, post and say, i mean if you for example were not happy with a certain player’s performance or in general if something bothers you, you need to watch out because there could always be someone who could hate on you for doing so and that kinda sucks.

3. favre - if you follow me for a longer period of time you will know that i was never really found of him. i don’t hate him but i do dislike him for many reasons. i personally don’t see us winning a trophy with him as he’s lacking of the mentality of some other great coaches who have won some trophies recently and in the past. for me he just doesn’t fit into the system of bvb as he gives me this ‘chicken’ scared kind of vibe. the tactic changes to play with like 3/5 defenders is something i find also quite questionable that we are not able to play with just 4 defenders and also let’s not talk about that time our players were lacking off motivation. sure it’s not all the coach who is to blame but for me he’s the major reason for a lot of questionable things, decisions and results which happened in the past. now that favre said a few days ago that he wants to continue to work with bvb and zorc said that they don’t look out for a new coach i think that totally ruins it for me.

4. favorite player - now it’s official (not like that it wasn’t obvious before) but yes mario will leave bvb. obviously my heart will always beat black and yellow, but i’m really disappointed in the way how mario is leaving. after he came back and fought of his disease he has always given his all for this club. in his playertribute he wrote how after he came back he understood more the club and how the fans feel and i totally dig that as whenever he played he always showed heart and wanted to win, especially last season when he was one of the best if not the best player who alongside other players like jadon almost made it possible to capture the bundesliga title. after that amazing 2nd leg of the bundesliga what happened afterwards? he got treated like shit. benched all over and never gotten a chance to play. after 6 games of being benched and a 1+ minute sub in the ucl at the 91′ minute he played vs bremen and guess what? he scored, he provided 3 goal chances, his pass accuracy was very high and he became man of the match. favre said he played very well and what then? he got benched again. i really hate how bvb is treating him almost like as if he was just air you know and i don’t think he deserves that, i mean he has given his all whenever he got the chance to play but to treat him like this is is just very unfair. he showed that he still has qualities and can actually play well and help the offensive but not on favre’s watch.

so now with mario leaving i don’t think i will do much edits as i used to because in general it hurts me really that he is leaving i grew up with him being in bvb as a 17 yo boy who just came from the youth. now he is rotten on the bench and gets treated like shit and his last match? well i don’t know if he will even play by the amount of time favre is benching him. but one thing is to say: once he’s gone he will find a new club and finally play again and find his happiness and that makes very happy.

but back to my blog now: one of the main reasons why i joined this site is because of mario götze, my fav club and of course the love for football, to express my feelings in a different way as you know such as edits or text posts and so on. now that mario is leaving i don’t think i will be really motivated to make edits and since my schedule and tumblr itself is changed/is changing i decided it would be the right time to take a step down.

so no i’m not leaving tumblr - i just change my blogging style and activity. i will definitely make less edits, i will probably reblog much more, i will still try do to make posts here and there (if my schedule and mood allows it and is good) but i don’t think i will be any longer the blogger i used to be for a long time on this site as i think with mario leaving bvb and also with now almost a decade of difference of tumblr and all the changes with happened on this site, the fandom itself and people leaving i think it’s fitting to make this step. i joined this site when mario left bvb and now that mario is leaving again i think my active-phase of being a football-editor is coming to an end. 

i will still be around like i said, just in a different way and style. i’ve made some great friends on here and there also a lot of nice people who i still need to get to know better and to which i look forward to! i really appreciated all the support i’ve received through out my journey and i just wanted to thank you it really always meant a lot to me! my journey is now ending now and i’ve really appreciated being able to express all my creativity and feelings for such a long time with your support you’ve always encouraged me to do even more and to feel good at what i’m doing so thank you! i look forward to my new chapter as now blogging will be different to what i’m used to but regardless i look forward to it.

i’m not ded i’m just taking a step back and i’m in the second seat row now. thank you 💛