#their *realness* as characters and couple. and most of all their enduring love

[bougainvillea-and-saltwater]

"God," thought Ross, "it does work and unfairly; but I want her, not any other, not the most beautiful eighteen-year-old damsel born out of a sea-shell, not the most seductive houri of any sultan's harem; I want her with her familiar gestures and her shining smile and her scarred knees, and I know she wants me in just the same way, and if there's any happiness more complete than this, I don't know it and am not sure I even want it."

— Winston Graham, The Black Moon

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: newbf!vernon, based off this quote, appearance from some svt members, afab reader, smut(?), suggestive, etc.

wc: 1848

a/n: this is such an odd premise but it caught my attention so yeah<3

masterlist

"i dont get the joke," seungkwan cocked his head to the side in a questioning manner.

"yeah, april fool's was last month?," added joshua.

"there's no joke. we're dating."

even as you and vernon found yourselves cuddled up on the couch, – in a manner only a couple would intertwine with each other – your friends seemed unimpressed by the mere suggestion of the two of you dating.

"so you've been besties for twelve years and suddenly you're dating? no warning, no nothing? not very believable", answered mingyu, staring at you in nothing short of annoyance.

"why is this so surprising? you guys knew that i had a crush on her," argued vernon, feeling a bit annoyed at the way all his friends were currently staring him down. meanwhile, you appeared to be completely chill as you nuzzled into his side, watching videos on his phone and ignoring the conversation altogether.

"i just don't buy it."

"yeah, i don't get the joke, but i'm not falling for it."

"she's out of your league anyway."

seungkwan, seungcheol and jeonghan all expressed their sentiments to vernon as he groaned in frustration, unable to understand why it was so difficult to accept that he had finally grown the balls to ask you out. alas, he gave up as his friends grew distracted by something else, opting to go back to watching cat videos with you on his phone.

this was a brand new change in your dynamic, so maybe it'd be hard to grasp at first. but it was fine. vernon didn't need his friends to acknowledge his relationship in order to make it real. he'd simply continue to love on you like he'd been doing since you accepted to be his girlfriend, damning any denials from his friends.

~

acting unaffected by his friends' constant refutals of his new relationship proved to be harder than vernon had first anticipated. they'd gone above and beyond to attempt and disprove your relationship, claiming that it simply didn't make any sense.

any time you posted a picture with vernon it'd get spammed with comments from all twelve boys declaring the falsehood of your relationship.

jeonghanieyoon: booo 🍅

joshuacoustic: drop the fake bf and date me instead 😘

dk_is_dokyeom: ok u guys are starting to look believable 🧐

sometimes they'd even respond to vernon's stories about you and slide in his dms just to call him a dumbass for attempting to make this 'a thing' when it was clear you two were lying.

from: pledisboos - stop being a coward and ask her out for real

from: feat.dino - clearly fake. try harder next time!

in retrospect, maybe vernon only had himself to blame for this. after years of liking you, he never once gave any indication of attempting to leave the friendzone. his friends had all given up on hyping him up to confess to you years ago, leaving his crush as a dormant subject of conversation. it was quite sudden how you and vernon ended up together, and your dynamic hadnt changed too much, so your upgrade from friends to lovers was likely not noticeable to the naked eye.

however, this did not excuse the damned booing vernon had to endure any time the two of you walked into a room hand-in-hand. it also did not excuse jeonghan and mingyu's continuous flirting with you – they were doing it to prove a point, they said. and the most frustrating aspect of it all was how nonchalant you were about it all, always giggling along with his friends and never backing vernon up when he'd try and argue with them.

this was quite out of character for vernon. his demeanor had always been extremely chill and laid back, never one to be bothered by any outside forces (much less his dumb friends). you, however, were not helping manners in any way. you found the whole situation funny, telling vernon not to stress over it as you giggled over how passionate both vernon and his friends were about such a benign subject.

so, vernon gave up. he guessed that since you found the running gag about your 'fake' relationship amusing rather than frustrating (as he did), then he would just leave it alone. he was never one for pda anyways, so attempting to prove his relationship to his friends was kind of like beating a dead horse.

what vernon forgot to consider, however, was how nosy his friends were.

when it was time for all fourteen of you to spend the week at mingyu's beach house, he had let his guard down far too much, leading to a situation he'd like to consider both a win and a loss.

despite the sheer size of the beach house, housing fourteen people proved to be quite a difficult task, meaning that roommates were a must. with six rooms, everyone was separated into twos, with two rooms containing one extra roommate each. you and vernon always paired up together with no questions asked, except this time you were teased and mocked as you settled into your rooms, all while they assigned you chan as an extra roommate with the sarcastic intent of him keeping an eye on the two of you – "just want to make sure you don't get down to any funny business," had sad dokyeom in a mocking tone.

it was quite common for everyone but vernon to go out and play some badminton or basketball during these types of outings. he just wasnt a sports guy, and he was well loved despite his lack of participation. you'd occasionally join the guys, but would mostly hang back with vernon, which was what happened this time around. usually, you'd simply lounge around and watch a movie, but now that you were finally together, vernon decided to make better use of your alone time.

"are you sure we should be doing this?", you pulled away with a heavy breath, tilting your head back so vernon's lips could trail down your neck.

"it's fine, baby. they're all busy. they don't even believe we're dating, so they probably just think we're watching a movie," he explained as his hands attempted to get you to sit on his lap.

you didn't seem to need convincing as you slid over onto his lap, allowing his hands to guide your hips against his own. even through the pajamas you were wearing, he was sure you could feel his hardness under you.

"fuck, you're so fucking warm," he murmured as his hands went under your shirt, feeling up your warm skin and throwing it off in the process.

his lips went back to yours, groaning against you as your hips sped up against his own. easily frustrated, he laid you down, bringing down his pants and boxers to his mid thigh and leaving you in just your panties, adjusting his hardness so it'd grind itself perfectly against your clothed folds. the wetness seeping from your panties drove him insane with desire, but he couldn't stop grinding into you, growing easily obsessed with the stimulation. his lips had made their way back to your own, groaning endlessly against them while your hands pulled at his hair in a way that made his eyes cross.

"hmm, nonnie ..." you'd murmur every so often, making his resolve break little by little.

"fuck, is this okay, baby? just- wanna make you cum like this. i'll fuck you, i promise. just feel so fucking good like this," he groaned as you licked into his mouth, refusing to entertain any amount of separation.

eventually he reached down to your tits, tonguing at them like a starved man in search of his next meal. he was shameless in his desire for you, having wanted you for far too long and finally having you all to himself. no other thought occupied his mind at the moment. the touch and sight of your pretty body under his own was all his brain had the capacity of entertaining.

which was how neither of you noticed the boy suddenly intruding the scene, screaming in absolute shock at the nasty sight in front of him.

"oh my god?! you weren't lying?!"

what was even more unfortunate was how chan's yelling immediately alerted the rest of the members (or at least the nosier ones), leading to the door being filled by about seven spectators within seconds.

the only fortunate thing about the situation had been how fast vernon's protective instincts over you took over, covering you up with a blanket the moment he saw chan enter the room, preventing all the nosy men from having a peek at the nudity only vernon was allowed to see (and apparently chan too, as vernon had not noticed his presence until after the fact).

however, even as he covered you up, he left himself completely bare, having to take on all their shocked commentary whilst fully nude, barely able to pull up his boxers a few moments into their intrusion.

"no way, you're actually dating?!"

"either that or they took this joke a little far ..."

"man, channie's gonna be jacking off to this for ages."

"how the fuck did you score her??"

"do you guys want a third?"

these were only a few of the comments thrown at you and vernon within the first twenty seconds of the guys' presence in your room. however, to vernon it felt like a whole hour of scrutiny before he finally shook the shock off and began yelling at them to leave.

"get the fuck out! and never look at my girlfriend again!", he got up and began pushing them out as a few of them giggled at his anger whilst some others remained in shock at the situation.

in the meantime, you had pulled up the blanket over your head as you sat crisscross on the bed, likely too bashful to face the situation until your friends took their leave.

once vernon closed and locked the door, grabbing a pillow and throwing it outside for chan (who would not be allowed back in, by the way), vernon sped to your side, uncovering you, fully worried that you might be mad or petrified at what had just happened. to his surprise, you began laughing the moment you first made eye contact, causing vernon to furrow his eyebrows in question.

"baby, what the fuck? you find this funny?", he wasn't mad, but more so extremely confused.

"you got want you wanted, nonnie. there's no way to deny we're dating now," you grinned, crawling to sit on his lap again.

"god, i take it back. i'll never be able to fuck you again in peace. i was just about to cum, too."

"'was'?", you asked, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and leaning in closer, "you don't wanna anymore?", you tilted your head in fake curiosity.

"i mean-"

"they already know we're fucking. might as well have fun with it. right, nonnie?", you grinned.

chuckling at you, he couldn't help but agree with your horny logic. his boner was still half-there anyways.

"c'mere, baby."

[hannah-banana-lou]

Come back to me

So to start off with, i hate a lot of fanfics that include the (y/n) character as a barely legal, fragile, tiny thing that is oblivious to sex because that is just not me! i love alot of fanfics that have a lot of world building, real life issues and are really in depth, mixed in with some smut, steamy romance and fluff. i know this will not be for everyone but for those who do enjoy that, i hope this does it for you!

Husband William afton x Wife female reader - AU.

Planning on making this into a series if people like it!

content warning: marriage issues, smut, verbal abuse, age gap couple - william (early 50's) Reader (mid/late 20's)

UNDER 18'S DNI!!!

Come back to me (pt.1)

A glance. A kiss. Lips crashing down unto yours. he has you pinned against the bedroom door, panting heavily. Hands exploring places they've been so many times before. yours hurriedly unbuttoning his shirt. desperation. his hooking their way into your sweatpants, teasingly close to where you need him, where you're yearning for him. his kisses moving from your lips, slowly trailing along your jaw before reaching your neck. he bites, suckles and licks the skin there, sending tingles throughout your body, reaching to your core. you're lost in the moment, feeling his beard scratch so deliciously against your skin, his lips soft but desperate. You need this. He needs this.

"mommy!" your ears prick up. the sound of one of your twins calling for you. you ignore it, trying to focus on the present scene unfolding in front of you.

"mommy, look at me!" again. calling for you. you can feel a haze slipping over you. mind going grey, unable to feel the kisses being planted.

a snap of your husbands fingers and you jump. you're in the garden, sitting on the patio next to william. the morning sun is beaming, your two children running around the garden, screaming and giggling. you glance over at william, he is staring at you. the silence between you both brooding ... deafening.

"your children are calling for you. just gonna ignore them?" he grunts out. a dig at you, most definitely.

you shake your head in response, taking the cup filled with coffee off the table, moving it up to your lips and taking a sip, you frown. it's gone cold.

the better part of the morning is spent playing with your children, trying to forget that you have a marriage counselling appointment in the early afternoon. not the first and most definitely not the last. no doubt william will find some excuse to not attend, he thinks marriage counselling is a scam, a waste of money. he refused to even acknowledge the idea until you nagged him for weeks. he eventually gave up.

you're now sat in the car, he's driving. the silence is painful. the drive to the appointment, uncomfortable.

your in the appointment. all his responses are grunts or a few word answers, while you're pouring your heart out, begging for him to just talk to you. a usual occurrence during these appointments.

You stop crying, lost in thought. maybe he was having an affair, it would explain a lot... no. yes. wait... would he do that to you? when would he have the time? god. don't be silly, he isn't cheating on you.... right? Before your mind can trail off anymore the therapist throws a question to you both.

"what are the biggest issues within your marriage? we have discussed this before briefly, however i'm curious as to the individual answers. William, why don't you start us off? yes?"

you glance over at william. he is staring directly at the therapist, poor woman, having to endure his death stare. his eye twitches slightly. he's trying to calm himself before answering. you avert your gaze back to the floor.

"Nothing is wrong with my marriage. i dont believe there are issues" your husband spits out.

the older woman nods, accepting his answer before she turns to you and nods again, signalling for you to answer.

"well... for starters i feel like he doesn't want me around anymore. he avoids me like the plague. there is no love, no affection, no.... no intimacy anymore" you begin.

william adjusts himself in his seat. clearly annoyed at the intimacy comment. you keep your gaze focused on the therapist.

"He wont talk more than a few words to me without snapping at me, he's stopped sleeping in our bedroom, he's taken the spare room instead. i never see him anymore. i'm... i... I've just had enough. it's hard living in a space that you have known as home for many years, yet feel so unwelcome at the same time" you finish. you can feel his stare burning into the side of your head.

the older woman nods again. that's all she seems to do, just nod. it can be quite annoying. she looks between you both.

"Y/N why do you feel like William has become this way with you?"

you sigh, not knowing the answer. you could only answer with what your mind has provided as far fetched ideas over the past few months. you shrug. "i'm not sure. i have a lot of ideas, none that could be close to the truth though" you respond, voice soft, deflated. like you've given up.

"One good way to get your marriage on track is open communication. Y/n why dont you share your ideas with William. it's a good place to start"

you sigh again and look over at william. he is staring at the floor. annoyed written all over his features. he looks over at you

"William..." you start with a sigh. "i... uhm... i have begun to think that maybe... you have fallen out of love with me" his gaze softens, almost looking heartbroken that you could ever think that. he shakes his head. he goes to reach out his hand, it lifts ever so slightly but stops immediately, his fists tightened, a small noise escaping his lips. almost like the whimper of a wounded animal as he quickly avoids your gaze, looking back down at the floor.

you take a moment to process what just happened. what was that noise? sound of affirmation? or denial? maybe his reaction is something to be hopeful for?

"any other ideas you have that you would like to share?" she adds quickly.

you nod, taking a deep breath. you knew he wasn't going to like this one but you had to get it out before the thought consumes you.

"William, i have thought for a while that you are having an affair." you blurt out.

his softened gaze quickly turns to a grimace, furrowed eyebrows. followed with a scoff before he stands up, grabbing your hand "session over. thanks for your time doc, see you next month" he mumbles as he pulls you out the door. the doctor looking more so confused than ever as she watches the two of you leave abruptly.

you get back into the car. oh he's pissed. maybe he is embarrassed that you brought that up? self conscious of how he looks in front of the therapist maybe?

he drives in silence before turning into an empty parking lot near a wooded trail path, probably for dog walkers.

he parks up before turning to you, face twisted with anger "An affair? an affair? .... AN AFFAIR?" He snaps. you nod "it just makes s-" he cuts you off "NO Y/N! NO! the falling out of love i can understand but an affair? i have done nothing to make you think that way"

you look at him confused.

"you're not affectionate. you're only happy when you're around the kids, you're only affectionate in public for 'appearances', you wont sleep in the same bed as me, let alone fuck me anymore, so you must be getting it from someone else!" you angrily snap out, you knew being with an older man would have it's problems but not to this extent.

he rolls his eyes. scoffs. "you're ridiculous. i am not having an affair!"

"it makes more sense than 'i'm stressed' " you quickly respond

he scoffs again but doesn't respond. just stares out the windshield of the car into the woods adorning the outskirts of the parking lot. the forest looked peaceful, serene almost. you continue to stare at him waiting for a response. receiving nothing.

you place your hand on his thigh gently "Will... Bear. please just talk to me... let me in again" you whisper. no response from him. he smiles in his mind at the use of the old nickname for him.

he was your bear. Tall, grumpy and hairy as one. Used to have you in fits of laughter when he would groan and snore, you telling him the attributes resembled a bear when you were first dating. hence the nickname.

Something snaps inside of him.

Your argument before, playing through his mind.

He looks over at you, eyes boring into yours. he reaches his hand out, cupping your cheek. it's been too long since he last touched you.

He moves from your cheek and trails his fingers through the mids of your hair before leaning down, hand clamped on the back of your head, moving you up to meet him halfway, lips on yours. slow. tender. A sense of yearning in the kiss. you let out a small surprised noise. not complaining in the slightest. just surprised, shocked even.

he pulls away ever so slightly, lips still touching. a small protesting whine leaving your lips as you desperately try to kiss him again. he stops you. nuzzling his nose against yours. hot breaths caressing each others skin. his lips soft. as you remember them. a free hand intertwined with your left hand, fingers caressing your wedding and engagement rings.

"I've not fallen out of love with you bunny" he breaks the silence, his words barely above a whisper. desperation. yearning. sadness being carried in his voice.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 鬓边不是海棠红/Winter Begonia

Winter Begonia is the tale of the intertwined lives of a wealthy, westernized businessman and a bratty, dramatic Peking Opera performer as they navigate the historical landscape of 1930s China.

It is a slow historical ramble of a show, to the point where I couldn't really say it has a single plot. Events just happen in their lives, and the show follows them with a pleasant steadiness. Characters go away, and sometimes they come back. Interpersonal conflicts rise and then get resolved. Sometimes you just get to sit and watch part of an opera happen. The last third of the show develops a slightly more cohesive narrative, but even then, it's still mostly a loose constellation of events related to larger goings-on in the culture.

So if you're looking for tight plots and fast-paced action, you'll want to look somewhere else. But if you're the kind of person who likes to wrap up sometimes in a gentle warm blanket of a beautiful show, I have five reasons you should give this one a try.

1. Oh, they're in love

Perhaps the most notable thing about Cheng Fengtai and Shang Xirui is that they spend the entire show smiling at one another, staring longingly at one another, and/or making each other laugh.

A lot of danmei couples depend on having at least one partner who, if not outright tsundere, is at least stoically long-suffering -- which is romantic, sure, but also exhausting in real life. These two read about as married as any danmei pair I've ever seen because they make one another smile all the time. They're incredibly touchy and affectionate from basically the moment they meet. They're not just in love, they actually like one another.

Now, don't get me wrong: These two are both absolute exhausting gremlins who deserve one another so they don't have to be anyone else's problems. But they're good-natured enough about their respective gremlin natures that when one of them lets loose with his rascality, the other tends to think it's hilarious.

They don't even have the mandated danmei breakup! They're never mad at one another for more than the length of an episode. Most of the time they're just refreshingly normal about one another (or, you know, about as normal as two drama queens can be). And when they're being not normal about one another, it's because the circumstances they are currently enduring are not normal either.

They're so in love that by the time you get to the last episode, everyone in their lives is like, gee, those two sure are in love. For the main couple in a Chinese-censored BL adaptation? That's pretty darn in love.

2. The costumes!!!

Of course I have to gush over the costumes. Several major characters are professional opera performers, and their wardrobes are just stunning in complexity and detail -- and accuracy, apparently.

But they're not even where all of the wardrobe budget went! Everyone looks great, from the dapper upper class to the household servants to the street performers.

I also can't get over how everyone looks so cozy in their winter outfits. The show really wants to hammer home how cold Beijing is, and so most non-opera clothes are either heavily quilted or furry. Not a single outfit in this show is slimming (except maybe for some of the gorgeous gowns Cheng Meixin wears). It's all about conserving body heat, which means a lot of people walk around basically wearing mildly tailored quilts all the time. I love it. I envy it.

3. Oops! All bottoms!

This is a show of very soft men. It helps that very many of them have spent their whole lives playing female roles, but even those that haven't tend to be pretty darn soft.

(And I'm not even talking about the way people keep handing Cheng Fengtai babies and he loves it.)

Du Luocheng and Shang Xirui are absolutely what happens when you get two soft gay guys who are kinda into one another, but they're both too lazy to top, so they just become best friends instead.

Fan Lian stands as a testament to how you can be the only heterosexual in the show and still be soft as hell.

The old married gays. Softness level: off the charts.

Chen Renxiang's role is that of the opera frenemy, and he's incredibly soft about it. (This actor is also apparently in the Sha Po Lang live-action adaptation! Maybe someday it will be released...)

Opera underling La Yuehong hardens up later in the show, but even when he does, there's still a tragic softness to it.

Even the baddies are soft! Pretty much all the rival opera bitches fall into the "love to hate" category -- and nearly all of them win at least some sympathy from you before they leave the story for good.

There's one more soft boy whose presence surprised me, and that is Xue Zhicheng/Kujo Kazuma, a sympathetic Japanese character. Every other Japanese character in the show is sinister somehow -- not surprising, considering the drama is set during the brutal Japanese occupation of Beiping/Beijing.

But this little guy is a gentle, well-meaning opera fan who just wants to watch his favorite performers! When his actions cause trouble, it's only because he's so well-meaning that he couldn't see how anyone could disapprove of his attempts at cross-cultural undertanding. He even comes to the rescue a few times, at significant personal cost!

Moreover, the show uses him to make it clear that there's a difference between the Japanese occupying force and Japanese people and culture. In fact, the show is pretty critical of people who conflate the two and use interest in the latter as evidence of support of the former. That is not a level of nuance I've seen from other dramas set in this time period, and I was pleased to see it.

In conclusion, the critial war shortage in 1930s Beijing was not food or medicine or ammunition, but tops.

4. A whole lotta ladies

Again, not even counting the fact that one of the two main guys, many of his buddies, all of his heroes, and several of the antagonists professionally dress as women.

The most notable of them is Cheng Fengtai’s wife, Fan Xiang'er. They've been married for years by the time the show starts, and they have a son together. Theirs is an arranged marriage that they've managed to make work so well that they've actually wound up liking one another ... most of the time. Remember what I said earlier about his being exhausting? She knows that better than anyone.

(Sidebar: If you are uncomfortable with a love story where one of the participants is canonically married to someone else, this may be one you want to skip. That said, there are several male characters in this show who have multiple wives and/or mistresses, so the metric of what counts as infidelity in this setting is ... loose.)

Beyond her, though, there are many more female supporting characters in this show, from all different socioeconomic levels, in all different kinds of situations.

A caveat: Some of the women (one in particular) are at times frustrating as hell because they're too often written as jealous shrews who believe all the terrible gossip they hear and act on it without having actual adult conversations with anyone first. I dislike this trope, mostly because it relies on making some smart women artificially very stupid for the sake of forwarding the plot. I have little patience for situations that could have been solved five episodes ago if somebody had just been willing to ask clarifying questions.

That said, I can't be too mad about that, because there are many, many more women who are not written like that. Some of them are good and loyal! Some are sneaky and self-interested! Some are callous and manipulative! Some are meek and traumatized! Some make terrible decisions! Some make terrible decisions but, like, you get it! You know, just like in real life?

The answer to better representation is almost always more representation. When a character is the only one of whatever they are, everything they do is kind of an indictment of that category, especially when that category has a history of stereotypical negative representation. When there are several others, the characters stop being representatives of that category and start being just plain characters.

5. It just feels good to watch

Don't misunderstand: This is not a happy fun time show where everything in sunshine and roses all the way down. There are plenty of tense and emotional parts. Not everyone we like makes it out of the drama alive. Not all love stories get a happily ever after. People disappoint one another all the time. Awful things happen when soldiers occupy civilian populations. Poverty is a bitch.

But the show itself remains a nice viewing experience. It's absolutely a feast for the senses, what with all the music and costumes and sets and props and old-fashioned cars and everything.

The story is very straightforward. It's never trying to do any complex schemes or mislead you before some big reveal. I imagine this could be a good show to put on in the background while you're doing something else. You're never going to be too desperately confused about what's going on if you zone out for a minute -- and if you are, just hang on for a bit, because by next episode, it'll probably be onto whatever storyline comes next.

I have not read the novel, and I cannot judge anything against its standards. However, my friend who has read parts of the novel tells me that the adaptation is much preferable, because in the novel, you get to hear everyone's internal narration -- and everyone's internal narration makes it clear they're all bratty, insufferable assholes. That is not the case here! Or, rather, they are often bratty and/or insufferable, but from outside their heads, it's a lot more charming.

Finally, it's legitimately a very good love story. Shang Xirui is the only person in Cheng Fengtai's life who loves him for who he is, not what someone else needs him to be. Cheng Fengtai goes from being enraptured by this beautiful little weirdo to basically wanting to wife him. They spend a lot of time taking care of one another, sometimes in the only ways they know how. They're capable of operating independently -- there are several episodes where their storylines diverge completely -- but they'd prefer not to. They've just each found their soulmate, and that's all there is to it. (The red thumbprint in the palm is about the most romantic thing I've ever seen.)

I'm a little surprised by how little I hear English-speaking fandom talk about this one, especially since (see below) it's a widely available, high-budget show that even has a Shang Xirui figurine, and there's no question about how in gay love these two are. But if you hop over to AO3, there's only 257 works total in the Winter Begonia tag, a scant 57 of which are in English, and if you've tried looking into the Winter Begonia tag on Tumblr, you know it's pretty quiet 'round here.

I can't be sure, but I'd assume that's partly because this is both a) a relatively low-stakes drama, and b) so enmeshed with actual historical events and concepts that you'd have to do at least a baseline amount of research before making any fan media. I would imagine that for some folk, this is a barrier to entry.

And it is 49 slow, gentle episodes long. I saw Tumblr posts asking which episodes are important, because the posters don't want to or can't commit to watching the whole thing. But the answer is ... all of them? none of them? There's no plot you'd be getting or missing with specific episodes. There are very few things I can think of that would even qualify as spoilers. It's just a walk through a couple very eventful years in the main pair's lives. I understand if folk aren't up for that, but if you are, this is really a gem.

Have I convinced you to give it a try?

I would say that Winter Begonia is perhaps the most easily watchable of any c-drama I've come across. Here's where you can find it:

iQiyi

Viki

Amazon Prime

YouTube

We watched most of it on YouTube, where the subs were perfectly fine. However, there was one episode where we had to switch platforms because the English subs were all out of synch, so we went to Amazon and they were fine there too. Other than that, I don't really have a sense of which translation experience is the best. Try them all!

(PS: If you feel like putting on a tinfoil hat, I'm just going to say, they look at one another like that in real life, too.)

[absolutebl]

47 BLs Announced for 2024

Here are the BLs I have logged on the Spreadsheet of Doom (TM) as announced for 2024 (with supporting evidence, so not just options or acquisitions) as of the beginning of the year. Bold are the ones I'm most intrigued by .

JAPAN

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka

From YTV releasing 1/11 about Soga, who, after a divorce and relocation to Osaka, seeks solace in dining at 26-year-old Sakae's restaurant. Unbeknownst to Soga, Sakae sees him as more than just a regular customer.

Ossan's Love Season 2

Five years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan, so probubly not. More here.

Perfect Propose

Fuji TV (the Pornographer series) adapting Mayo Tsurakame’s manga, production team includes Tadaaki Horai (My Love Mix-Up!) and Takeshi Miyamoto (scriptwriter for “Old Fashion Cupcake”). Hiro’s so stressed at work he barely has time to eat so he passes out on the sidewalk. An unfamiliar face saves him and insists that they once promised to marry each other.

KOREA

Love For Love's Sake

Based on the Manhwa Love Supremacy Zone by Hwacha, this will star actors Lee Tae Vin, Cha Jun Wan, Oh Min Su and Cha Woon Ki. The plot of the drama is based on Tae Myung Ha, a young man who is dropped into a game based off of a novel that he knows. His mission is to make another player, Cha Yeo Woon happy. Cha Yeo Woon is Myung-Has favourite character in the novel. But then the game starts going completely different from the novel.

Love in the Big City

Movie adaptation of Booker nominated famous coming of age novel ‘Love in The Big City’ by Park Sang-Young. A cynical yet fun loving student writer name Young pinballs from home, to class, to Tinder matches. He and Jaehee, his female best friend and roommate, frequent nearby bars where they push away their worries about life, love, and money with soju and Marlboros. But as time passes Jaehee settles down and leaves Young to face his problems on his own, finding comfort in the arms of the series of men, including one whose handsomeness is matched by his coldness and another who might be the great love of his life. Not really BL. To star Kim Go-eun (The King: Eternal Monarch), Noh Sang-hyun (aka Steve Sanghyun as Young) and Nam Yoon Su (The King’s Affection). More here.

TAIWAN

Anti Reset AKA Anti-Reset AKA Antireset

From Vidol to air on 2/2/2024 about a human and robot find love.

THAILAND

1000 Years Old

From Feel Good Bangkok this is one of many gay vampire BLs coming in 2024. Stars Shane (My Engineer) and fresh face Opal, directed by Champ (2gether). More here.

A Secretly Love

Khonprot, a third-year head hazer of the engineering faculty, has a secret crush on Pluem, a tsundere fourth-year head hazer. Over the years, he's seen Pluem cycle through many girlfriends. Recently, after a public breakup, however, Khonprot thinks things may be different.

Addicted Heroin (Thai version)

From the producers of Love Stage!!

Bad Guy My Boss

Assistant to a player boss who is in love with his boss decides to quit to save himself. The boos then makes a move. (A gay "What's up with Secretary Kim"?)

Born to be Y

announced 9/23

City of Stars AKA Fueangnakorn

Star Hunter started filming this 12/23 about an actor falls in love with a programmer and the narrative intends to “explore the ramifications of being public figure in the social network era who must endure critics, bullying, and defamation.” Looks like another Lovely Writer, Call It What You Want sort of thing.

Four Ever You Project AKA Fourever You Project

Sampler pack BL series from Wabi Sabi stars Bas (Gen Y), Earth (UWMA, 12%). Four stories, four couples, all adapted under the Fourever You Project.

I Saw You in My Dream

DeeHupHouse for WeTV based on the novel of the same name by Afterday. The story portrays Aya, a young man who has prophetic dreams. Everything he dreams always comes true. He doesn’t have a problem with it until he starts to dream of dating the guy next door. But the guy next door is in a serious relationship with a girl he’s known since high school.

Iridescent Love

Got nothing.

Harikarn Solution (the Chains of Heart people - boo) stars Gun (Khom in Unforgotten Night) opposite fresh face but cast includes familiar faces from other pulps. Ordinary office worker kinda recluse dork but who at night however, has an only fans account. Then he meets the guy next door.

Jack & Joker (YinWar)

DeHup brings us be gay, do crimes. Yin, War, Mark and a few other familiar faces doing Leverage but gayer. Yes, thank you, I will have that.

Kidnap

GMMTV Ohm Pawat is back but there is some question over whether this is BL or not.

Knock-Knock Boys

Kongthup for WeTV airing 4/2024 Four college friends who conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. stars Seng Wichai, Best Vittswin, Nokia Chinnawat and Jaonine Jiraphat.

Lost On The River

Another Sammon story

Love Sea (FortPeat)

MAME warning, stars same couple as LITA2, but new characters to the Mameverse. While travelling a writer has a one night stand with a very irritating man.

Love Sick AKA Lovesick remake

Remake of the original. No thank you.

Love Upon a Time (NetJames)

Domundi announced for 6/7/2023 then delayed to 2024. NetJames in a historical BL! Also feat Tonnam(Dr Sing from Triage).

Lovely Addict

9NAA brings us a hotel set, high heat, features same pair as Venus In Sky.

Lover Merman

Fantasy BL about a man who falls in love with a merman.

Me and Who

Domundi for WeTV brings this adaptation of Wickedwish’s novel of the same name. it depicts a young man who dies and is reborn into the body of a billionaire heir. The heir happens to be engaged to a handsome man.

Monster Next Door

WeTV Adapted from the novel Godzilla Next Door by Jiwinil. It portrays an introvert who lives mostly in his room, until an extrovert moves in next door. He is loud, frantic and annoying. Do opposites really attract? Will they find a way to get along?

My Golden Blood

GMMTV. Okay, I do find Joss very watchable but this looks very bad and also very like Kissable Lips. But at least land is finally giving us the trashy gay vampires we richly deserve?

My Love Mix-Up Thai Remake (GemniForth)

GMMTV. Hum, well I do love this pair and I did like the original and maybe this time these characters will actually kiss? I'm actually fine with this pick-up. I kind of enjoy seeing different countries remake the same IP. Especially if it's IP I'm mostly unfazed by.

My Stand-In AKA My Stand In

Chinese IP ALERT! Adapted from the novel Professional Body Double (职业替身) by Shui Qiang Cheng (水千丞) stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please).

OMG Vampire AKA OMG! Vampire (LeeFrank)

Frank and Lee Long Shi are back only vampires now. So many vampires.

Only Boo!

New main pair in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks, grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, to become an idol baby boy can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.

Ossan‘s Love Thai Remake (EarthMix

Ugh, why?!?!

Red Peafowl

More Thai mafia stuffs.

Spare Me Your Mercy

Increased rates of deaths in terminal patients has a police captain investigating the palliative care doctor with whom he's fallen in love. Their relationship deepens but the mystery persists, driven by mistrust. Adapted from the novel Euthanasia by Sammon (Triage, Manner of Death) stars some old guard BL actors: Tor Thanapob from Hormones as the doctor and (fuck me YES) Jaylerr from Great Men Academy and goddamn Grean Fictions as the captain!

Spirit Reborn AKA Kemjira Will Survive

Star Hunter (of all studios) adapting supposedly the scariest BL. Khem is born cursed. A daughter would be safe but a son dies at 20 so Khem’s mother cleverly gives him a girl’s name, Khemjira “forever safe.” But Knem is baout to turn 20 and he doesn't think it's working so he seeks the help of a cursebreaker, turns out to be his great love from a prvious life.

Star Scope

Wabi Sabi trailer here. Looks sad, one of them is terminally ill, abandons his bf in high school them meet again in uni.

The Boy Next World (BossNoeul)

Same couple as LITA, this is the backstory of Cirrus & Phugun from TharnType 2 played by different actors.

The Hell Guards AKA Hey Don't Mess With My Heart

Boy wakes up from a coma and becomes a messenger between grim reapers and the underworld. Oh will it be... bureaucratic? I think it WILL.

The Hidden Moon

Casting happened 9/23. This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) ‘เดือนพราง’ by Violet Rain. A Bangkok writer is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai which is being converted into a café. He gets into an accident and nearly dies on his way there. After that, he sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, one boy catches his attention. Stars Benjamin Brasier (2 Moons 2) and Folk Touch Inthirat from Brothers. Trailer here.

The Next Prince (ZeeNew)

Domundi brings us more ZeeNew in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince - FUCK YES PLEASE. I did not expect this pair to stick so I really hope this happens. Trailer here.

The Rebound (MeenPing)

VIU Basketball based romance staring Meen (a national basketball player, so yay for that).

The Trainee (OffGun)

GMMTV Office set, may not be BL. Trailer here.

Time the series

MFlow Entertainment for Gaga, WeTV, Channel 3 trailer here. Airs 1/9 After witnessing the death of his beloved Chris from a gunshot wound, the heartbroken actor Foam is given a pocket watch that allows him to go back in time and discover the truth… Can Foam take the chance to set things right and bring Chris back from the brink of death? Only time will tell…

To Be Continued

High school sweethearts who had a bad break up reunite when both of them have full times jobs but coming out is still a problem. Trailer here.

Vampire Project (BounPrem)

Wabi Sabi's My Broccoli only now... vampires.

Wandee Godday

GMMTV and AllThis Entertainment producing a very pulp offering for GMMTV with new pair GreatInn doing high heat Boxer meets surgeon. It features a one night stand, fake relationship, and all the cheesiest of tropes. Also features Drake, Podd, and Thor+ pretty boy (be still my heart). This is totally my kind of BL even if it actually isn't GMMTV's style of BL, so I'm intrigued. Trailer here.

We Are (PondPhuwin)

GMMTV's university friendship Bl featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawin - basically ALL in the good kind of messy friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is gay. I'm IN! Trailer here.

A reminder we had c. 136 BLs release in 2023 but c. 55 that did not get made.

That seems about right.

Of those announced we seem to get about 2/3 actually released for the year we are told they'll release in.

(source)

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Hi there! First of all, I want to express my undying love for everything you write, it's absolutely amazing the way you describe Aemond's character.

May I request something about reader dealing with her period and Aemond taking care of her (maybe he wants to know anything about it to help her relax and relieve her pain and everything turns to sexual, it's up to you, really) since I'm one that suffer enough during those days and it would be of comfort to read something about it.

Thank you very much!

That is really sweet of you to say, thank you so much! I appreciate you and your support!

I'm a stickler for canon, I don't write modern AUs, so am basing this on the rough time period that HotD is set in (medieval era) - religious shame caused people to go to great lengths to hide their periods, and they even believed that cramps were a divine punishment for Eve's original sin. Since cramps were seen as a punishment, people who were menstruating weren't offered pain relief medicine (mostly herbal remedies at the time). There are few records from this era regarding the menstrual cycle/women's anatomy, as most medical texts were written by monks.

With this in mind, I'm going to write this from the perspective that both our character and Aemond are pretty clueless when it comes matters of "moon's blood", but Aemond is a naturally curious individual, so we are going to get real squicky with it. Anyway, I've rambled enough - onto the fic!

Warnings: Periods, smut, religious shame, clueless behaviour regarding women's anatomy, slight hematolagnia. Word count: ~1000

She awakens to intense cramping in her lower belly and a stickiness between her thighs. Pulling back the sheets, she gasps as she sees the crimson stains on both her nightgown and the bed.

This is the first time she's gotten her moon's blood since her and Aemond wed. She had hoped it wouldn't come at all, they hadn't been married long, but their coupling was frequent. They were both eager for a child, though it was more than apparent that they derived great pleasure from the act of attempting to create one too.

This is divine punishment cast down from the Mother for not having fulfilled her duty as a wife, she is certain of it. Her body has failed to produce a child, so now she must suffer the consequences.

She groans as her womb contracts painfully and yet more wetness blooms between her legs.

Aemond stirs beside her, voice still thick with sleep. "Are you alright, my love?"

She huffs, shifting uncomfortably and attempting to cover the stains, as her cheeks burn with shame. "It is nothing, go back to sleep."

"You are in pain." Her murmurs, taking in her furrowed brow and clenched jaw as he rouses to full wakefulness. His right eye goes wide as he spots red on the sheets, and he moves as quick as his grogginess will allow into a seated position to pull them back from her body. "Are you hurt?!"

Hot tears prickle her eyes, her chest feels heavy under the weight of her embarrassment as she covers her face with her hands, unable to bear the shocked expression on Aemond's face. "It is my moon's blood. I am sorry. What must you think of me?!"

Gently he pries her hands away, his expression softens noticeably. Concern is now etched across his features. "Is it painful?"

She sniffles and nods her head.

"I will call for the Maester, there is likely a herbal remedy he can-"

"No!" She cuts him off abruptly, gripping his arm in case he decides to leave the bed. "This is my punishment from the Mother for not producing an heir. I must endure it."

He sighs, giving her a small nod. He regards her carefully then asks "Where does it hurt?"

"Here." She responds placing her hand on her lower belly.

Gently, Aemond coaxes her hand away, replacing it with his own. The warmth and gentle pressure alleviates a little of the pain and she lets out a sigh of relief.

"Does that feel good?"

"Mmm." Is her only response as her eyes flutter closed.

His fingers drift to the hem of her nightgown and he pauses, looking back up to her face. "May I?"

She opens her eyes, looking at him quizzically. She knows Aemond has an insatiable thirst for knowledge, but never anticipated it stretching quite so far. "It is unsightly." She whispers.

"I have lost an eye, it will take more than a little blood to startle me."

He does not wait for a response as he lifts her nightgown above her hips.

She watches, her heart thudding loudly in her rib cage as he drinks in the sight of the ichor that's smeared across her thighs.

Dexterous fingers coax them apart and run through the slickness of the blood that decorates their insides. He brings them up to his face to inspect, running the pad of his thumb across the red that now stains his fingertips.

"It is thicker than the blood I am used to seeing." He says in a matter of fact tone. "When people bleed in the training yard it is not quite so...viscous."

She stares at him with bated breath, not knowing what to do or say. This is so unbelievably crass she can't quite believe it's happening.

"Allow me a better look." He says, pulling her legs further apart and kneeling between them.

"I have got to be dreaming." She thinks. "Nothing like this could possibly happen in reality."

He swipes through her folds and she elicits a breathy moan. She is more sensitive than usual and his touch sends white hot sparks jolting through her body.

His gaze snaps to hers, a look of excitement bubbling beneath his usually composed exterior as he smirks. "You liked that?"

She nods enthusiastically, not quite knowing how to articulate what she wants to say. "It feels...it just feels more...more..."

Aemond chuckles. "And if I were to fuck you, do you think it would feel more?"

Her mouth falls open at his question, anticipation fizzling in her blood as she spots the length of him standing fully to attention against his lower abdomen. "I-I don't know." She stammers.

"Sinful, sinful, sinful." She thinks, but her mind goes blank the moment Aemond slips inside of her, the added lubrication of her bleeding creating less resistance than he would usually be met with.

He lets out a groan, eye screwing shut and jaw going slack. "Gods...your cunt...it feels..."

"More?" She offers with a giggle.

Her giggles turn to lewd moans as Aemond begins to thrust inside of her. Everything feels too much and yet not enough all at once. It's as though every nerve ending is ablaze with sensation and as the familiar ache begins to build deep within her, she knows she won't last long.

The wet sounds of Aemond pushing and pulling in and out of her, coupled with the slapping of skin and their mingling pants of pleasure create a cacophony that's absolutely obscene.

As she falls over the proverbial edge, her vision goes spotty with the intensity of it, her back arching off of the bed to push her body against Aemond's as she lets out a strangled cry.

The forcefulness of how she spasms around him rips his own end from him, and he spills inside of her with a string of High Valyrian obscenities tumbling from his lips.

He collapses against her and they both lay there for a few minutes, basking in each other's sweaty afterglow while they catch their breath.

Eventually, Aemond pulls out, watching with fascination as his seed mixed with her blood trickles from her.

"We should do this again." He muses quietly.

"My pain has gone." She says, a tinge of surprised wonder in her tone.

He stares at her, almost prideful. "Then we are definitely doing this again."

[sockysucks]

HI TUMBLR!!

ive come to create a incredibly lengthy post about the new mascot horror game called Indigo Park

I need to ramble ( haha rambley ) about it as i have just quit twitter for an indefinite time for my own mental health as an autistic cannot last on there at all

anyway, im going to talk about all the reason why indigo park is so good and what i hope from it!! and any criticisms i have for it, i honestly dont have many even though its so early to talk about.

how i found out about indigo park:

UNIQUEGEESE!! naturally, i was watching one of masons past streams on his youtube playing FNF after having rejoined the FNF community after its update and finding out about the mod HIT SINGLE; the mod masons was playing( people know it mostly for the silly billy song ) and he had mentioned about him making a mascot horror game which i shrugged off naturally because i am not a fan of modern mascot horror as most of it seems to be low effort and genuinely unappealing, i knew he had made something that was definitely made with love but i didnt have the will to check it out until a announcement trailer dropped which i then saw snippets of the game and the characters and environment, which i was definitely intrigued so I played the game myself.

My thoughts playing the game:

and found it surpisingly good compared to any other mascot horror game, it was unique, genuinely had awesome character designs and very high quality’s graphics and beautiful models and lighting were stunning, again really surprised having endured the hideousness of other low quality mascot horror games, to then find a game with fucking great models ( unlike banban, 2 billion polygon remote or whatever lmfao ).

I started the game and to be real as a extremely gay furry who loves little silly furry boys i felt like i was gonna explode during every single rambley voice line and animation played and fell so in love with him, now a massive comfort character and ive draw. him like 12 times prior to the games first chapter being released like 2 days ago lol, ive never gotten so attached so quicky in my life which definitely makes rambley and indigo park a really special game.

I really love this game, the pacing is really well done, the horror isnt low quality, the like actual character models for lloyd and molly are really gorgeous, i just think the hair and some of the texturing is over done slightly, but definitely made me shit myself multiple times despite this, all while i was laughing with my new silly raccoon boyfriend 💜💜💜💜

hugeeeeww shoutout to team neutron for the the absolute gorgeous expressive rambley screen animations and the credits theme that left me almost tbe same way portal 2’s credits effected me the first time i ever played and definitely huge huge props to otterboyva for the super adorable voice of rambley.

what do I hope for the future of Indigo Park

I hope for the future of this game that content farms and bootleggers disregard it, but this doesnt give me hope seeing that one rambley plush that a company made before the first chapter even released that was completely unlicensed. I will be avoiding social media in efforts to not see people start shitting on this game if it becomes on the same level and milked by content farms like what happened to the amazing digital circus ( i watched this on the day the pilot released, and was equally devastated as many others to see it being used as low effort bait in shitty kids cartoons on youtube shorts )

in case you didnt see i did a little animation at the top of this!! very rough but yeah

I love tgis game PLEASEEEE i cannot wait to see more high quality content from this really passionate creative team uniquegeese/mason has formed

in case you wanted to play it for yourself, heres a link to the steam page!! the first chapter is free and a kickstarter started a couple days ago has been completed funded so…. CHAPTER 2 IS CONFIRMED!!

[queenimmadolla]

Idk if you’ve answered this or not but what are Penny, Wayne and Maples interest/special interest? Like was Penny into the 90’s/2000’s boy bands? Was Wayne into trains or dinosaurs or something real niche like garbage trucks and was I’m assuming Maple was born in the late 90’s was she into Hannah Montana or even metal music that you and Eddie cater to until they just decided one day it wasn’t cool anymore and moved on 😅

I want to thank you. Because you just reminded (I had to consult my timeline for this verse to answer it) that Penny was born in the late 80s, so she got to endure the late 90s and y2k as a teen. She would have been the same age as Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff when they feuded omg!!!! And with a famous dad?? She can interact with y2k royalty!

ANYWAYS, to answer your question, YES! She was a big fan girl of the Backstreet Boys as a preteen! Was begging her parents to go to concerts all the time, learned the choreography, she was obsessed and, as delusional as 10-13 year olds get over boy bands, she was proud of it. And DREAM. She’d love that girl band so much. As a teen, she loves most of the bands of the 2000s like Fall Out Boy, Green Day (they reached the height of their fame that really elevated them in the 2000s—thats not up for debate), Sum41, Evanescene, Linkin Park, Good Charlotte, Pussycat Dolls and she’s a fan of singers like Beyoncé, Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, etc. She doesn’t really like the pick-mes of the 2000s. Sorry, Avril.

Wayne didn’t have any real niche interests dinosaurs or trucks. By the time he could develop niche interests, Goosebumps was a thing, so i imagine him going the mystery/horror route. And because of watching and reading Goosebumps, he develops an interest in weirdly specific things just as the main characters of the show do. To make it short—whatever he watches he makes his whole personality for a good couple of months.

And you’re right about Maple being born in the late 90s! She was 100% a delusional fan girl too, LOVED The Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana (but she loved Miley Cyrus more), fucking radio Disney, Jesse McCartney—oh my god, she was born around the same time as me so she’s going to go through so many horrible fashion and fan phases. The shrug, the skinny scarf, the weird layering of dresses over jeans. One Direction. God, Eddie has to endure a lot with her but if his babies are into something, then he encourages their enthusiasm, helps them indulge in it by buying them CDs and merch, goes to concerts with them—he’s a good fucking dad. Even if the two of you get whiplash with how often they switch up their interests. And lucky for you and Eddie, she’s a Beyoncé stan, so she exposes him to fantastic music just as he introduces her to the music he grew up liking in the 80s.

[sailorgundam308]

Being the angst sucker that I am (but also a coward that doesn’t want to feel too depressed about bad endings), I headcanon a lot about the dynamics and end/post game canons for Astarion and Karlach as a couple (no shit!).

I know a lot of people ship Karlach with Dammon. I obviously don’t, but not because I think they don’t fit well together or whatever. I have this thing in my head of how I view Karlach which puts her relationship with Astarion as more realistic, more fulfilling, and more attractive to me (duh).

Dammon as a character is a nice, hard working guy. He’s also crazy handsome, has the hots for Karlach and some mechanics knowledge to be able to help her a bit. So yea, cool. I like him a lot so that’s not it.

BUT.

Just gonna blurt it out: I think Karlach is too fucked up to be with him in the canon universe we have. It’s a similar reason I have for how I see her reaction to the love test in the Circus in Act 3, which I made a post about. Had Karlach never been betrayed by Gortash, had not been irreversibly damaged (in more ways than one) and not been transformed by her 10 years ordeal, Dammon would be the ‘perfect pairing’ for her - a gentle, good hearted, generous and hot piece of ass. Thumbs up.

HOWEVER.

She’s not that girl anymore. She keeps it bottled up, pushes it down and shuts herself to what her trauma did to her and while it’s commendable, imo, it’s not real. She wants it to be so bad because she’s got so little time and is desperately clinging to her life before she started making mistakes (now being back in the Material Plane after so long). If she doesn’t die, though, she won’t keep this up forever. She’s carrying pain, remorse, ANGER, jealousy, self pity. A LOT of it. Much more than she let out in her post-Gortash breakdown. All these are very human emotions, and very understandable in her situation. She also changed, physically, mentally, emotionally. She grew, she learned- and it wasn’t all pretty and nice things. I like the idea that she’s being the most genuine character in the game while ALSO being the one wearing the most impenetrable mask. It’s wild and damn cool to see her through that lens.

Which brings me to Astarion.

He is also wearing a mask, but a much more frail one. He’s cracked. He tells and shows us these ugly emotions, his selfishness and hurt, much more directly than Karlach does. He’s broken, wicked, mean. It’s clear his trauma completely changed him (though I don’t think he was a good guy before it either), and is entrenched into who he is when we meet him - and will continue to be part of him even after he heals.

I think Karlach is attracted to him not in spite of how mean he is - but because of it. I don’t think she’s aware of it, though. She says something about Astarion having a good heart beneath it all - and while he might have something like a better heart inside that can be rescued, he’s not inherently good, nor he was before being turned (nor he wants to be). The dynamic of Karlach using goodness and positivity as a lifeline, as if to counter the decade of (literally) pure evil she’s been forced to endure, while also ‘surprisingly’ getting along so well with Astarion from the start, also being attracted to his wickedness, gives an incredible depth to their relationship. I see not only the idea of Karlach’s kindness, non-judgement and patience being a refuge for Astarion, but Astarion’s grey personality being a refuge where Karlach will be able to let her walls down - show the ugliness bottled up inside - without fear or shame, and knowing it will be completely and utterly understood. Astarion will never judge her for whatever impulses or thoughts she might have, for displays of selfishness, jealousy or violence. Imo, they can even work some of those out together (wink wink, but not only in that way lol). At the same time, I do believe Astarion saw from the first glance he had at Karlach (or in the first couple of days) that she carried a pain much like his. It’s why he respects her, why he is so quick to apologize to her and only to her, why he feels empathy for her suffering while being absolutely cold to the others. She’s the first one who gives him the opportunity of allowing himself to feel safe, to let his guard down if only for a night. His connection with her might be based on a selfish start (it’s about him - she is like him), but it grows to be more complex as they grow closer. I see him slowly falling in love with her as a parallel to him slowly learning to love himself, to forgive himself.

It’s all so beautiful, poetic and layered and shit (wow, me so eloquent).

But in all honesty, that’s all to say, while I think Karlach and Dammon look nice together, I see him as being the person who’d have been the one for her if she was just Karlach Cliffgate. However, she is not. She is Karlach Cliffgate and she is also Karlach Demonsbane - and for that ‘her’, Astarion - with his imperfections, his wicked ways and his darkness - is the one who truly fits her perfectly (or imperfectly, which imo is even better).

Thank you for reading all this rambling. I love rambling and will (can) never stop so good for you :V

AGH I LOVE bittersweet gritty messy romanceeeeeeee (but I wanna give them a better ending than the one in game - though if the patches weren’t broken, it’s improved a bit already)

[prince-liest]

oh my god. your wording in one of ur latest anon answers. does…. is val the only one who does the dumping? does vox never dump val??? i always like… idk i assumed that they both broke it off in a never ending downward spiral, mutually. but oh my GOD? you’re saying val is the only one doing the breaking up? i….. this is shifting my entire perspective on vox. HOLD ON. HOLD ON. not to beat a dead dove here (that was a brilliant pun yes i’m stealing it), but……… this is sliding right into my vault where i keep my Vox and Domestic Violence Thoughts. he just seems so…. helpless. he’s helpless all the time and in complete denial about it. at first it was clear he’s pretty helpless around alastor -in both canon and your fic. alastor is stronger, and also, in the beginning had the Extreme emotional upper hand. i knew this, yet, like in canon, i assumed more or less alastor was the chink in his armor. vox DOES run the vee’s competently, he handles val, and he’s arguably the fourth most powerful sinner in hell (behind zestial, carmilla, and alastor). those 3 things are true, AND YET. let’s look behind the wizards curtain. how does vox live his Personal life. not his job or position of power. how does his close relationships define him. let’s see now. the initial intense obsession with alastor, which had ONLY left him rejected and humiliated. helpless. and now val. i Assume vox enacts some physical violence on val, too, but something in his wording in the last installment. vox made the point to compare alastors straight up murder attempts to how val acts. i do not think vox does that with val, at least not in a trivial and common manner (he has said the vee’s have all killed e/o before). and when i said “sure he can act disgruntled and upset in the moment” in another ask, i MEANT that vox could break up with val for a couple days before crawling right back like nothing happened. but NO. NOT EVEN THAT. vox endures, and he ultimately does Nothing. NOTHING. and not even that, he is subjected to val breaking it off in a cyclic manner, for superficial or nonexistent issues. and then after a week val will call and vox will come crawling back like nothing happened, and the timer for 4 months begins again. through everything, EVERYTHING, vox really just seems… passive in the grand scheme of things. it’s paradoxical, because he’s also outrageously ambitious. i think that’s one of his core character traits, a constant greed and pursuit of it. that’s unequivocally true about him. but then we look at his love life, and what do we see? he lets the two men he loves basically do whatever they want with him. and he does it because he loves them, as well as being unable to admit he’s suffering. i will say, from now on it’s clear that his relationship with alastor is veering off this direction, but i want to STRESS that it was actually ALASTOR that cemented that. vox, in a spurt of emotion, let it slip out his history of domestic violence. then, promptly brushed it off to appease alastor. he set the terms of the deal, but he did it as a silly pinky promise. he, again, never allows himself to take it SERIOUSLY. because IF HE DOES!!!! then he needs to set boundaries AND ABIDE BY THEM!!!!!!!! AND WHAT THEN. WHAT THEN. THEN THE NEXT TIME VAL OR ALASTOR CROSS A LINE, HE NEEDS TO END IT. LEAVE. DO ANYTHING. AND HE IS NEVER GONNA DO THAT!!!!!!!! and here’s the real fucking kicker…… he expects them to. to keep hurting him. that’s the root of it. it’s not a real boundary, because it’s an inevitability. valentino and alastor will always want to hurt him, so a relationship without that violence is nonexistent. (that’s what he believes btw. hopefully not the truth). and so, vox has made his choice. he’s a businessman, and he has weighed the pros and cons. the violence and crossed boundaries he faces is outweighed by his love for them, and ultimately, that means they can do whatever they want to him. he is helpless.

(this was an entire rant, dear god. and of course the disclaimer that this is all my personal delusions, and not necessarily your take on vox in your series. i swear, i never know how these asks get so long. i promise i start of with a simple idea, then it all implodes into an essay. so sorry. love you.) -🌓

I have good news and bad news for you, anon!

The bad news is that I have misled you slightly: My actual full perspective of the Valentino and Vox on-and-off dating situation is that Vox dumps Valentino when he feels a sufficiently angry flavor of upset that Valentino refuses to listen to him on some things (usually not, actually, the violence, unless Val breaks something for Vox to be angry about); and Valentino dumps Vox when he wants Vox to annoyedly pretend not to moon after him for a week. In both situations, sometimes Vox ends up giving up the ghost and functionally crawling his way back to Val, but more commonly Valentino decides that he's had enough and rather handily seduces Vox into a round of what Vox promises himself is hate sex and not makeup sex but is inevitably always very sappy makeup sex with a side of lovebombing.

This is. Arguably not that different of a flavor from what you're describing, haha, especially since a lot of Vox managing to be the one to break things off at any given point in time hinges on him being able to frame his rationale as "anger" rather than "upset," the latter of which just gets brushed under the carpet of Emotions That Are Not Taken Seriously. He can act on a great many things if he justifies them as something he is right to be objective and angry over, including outright killing Valentino at least once at some point in the past, but anything that makes him feel vulnerable or, ah, let's deliberately and pointedly use the word hysterical, is a pre-existing internal struggle that Valentino knows how to manipulate to his advantage.

The good news is that this lovely analysis inspired me to almost completely rewrite a section of the next 666 fic that I'd been dissatisfied with. I initially wrote Vox as annoyed; what he needed to be was Very Stressed And Upset in a way that distinctly refused to dare stray into anger because the fundamental concern was about what Alastor wanted - just as you described, Vox fumbling his own distress with his learned helplessness when it comes to intimate relationships. Anyway, now I'm WAY happier with it! So thank you very much for that!

[jbaileyfansite]

Jonathan Bailey and Matt Bomer's Interview for WMagazine (2023)

Warning: Spoilers for Fellow Travelers ahead.

Matt Bomer and Jonathan Bailey had a feeling their characters’ sexual escapades in Fellow Travelers would ignite a social media firestorm. But apart from some in-person encounters with fans who watched the Showtime limited series, both actors claim they’ve avoided going down a rabbit hole of reactions to their performances.

“The first week of just seeing a GIF of a toe was kind of alarming,” Bailey says in a joint interview with Bomer. “But when you’re doing a scene like that, you know what function it serves—not just in the story, but in the selling of a TV series. I call it the Trojan toe: You slip it in, get people watching, and by the time they get to [that moment], they’ll understand exactly what the show’s setting out to explore.”

Adapted from Thomas Mallon’s 2007 novel, Fellow Travelers chronicles the clandestine romance between Hawkins Fuller (Bomer), a debonair State Department employee, and Tim Laughlin (Bailey), a wide-eyed college graduate, who fall in love at the height of McCarthyism and the Lavender Scare in 1950s Washington D.C. As they weave in and out of each other’s lives across multiple decades, Hawk and Tim’s enduring relationship hurtles toward a devastating conclusion in the 1980s. Following Tim’s terminal AIDS diagnosis, Hawk visits his lover—whom he has nicknamed “Skippy”—one last time in San Francisco, where they both come to terms with the significance of their volatile romance.

“A lot of people feel seen—not just by the sex scenes, but by aspects of queer identity on the show,” Bomer says. “That’s the hope, right? That whatever you’re pouring your heart and soul into resonates with somebody or makes them feel seen.”

On a recent visit to New York City, Bailey and Bomer were affable and laid-back—a far cry from the brooding, tortured characters that have defined their respective careers. Bouncing ideas off each other, the charming costars spoke with W about their approach to telling their characters’ epic love story, the surreal experience of shooting their final scene together, and what to expect from Maestro and the next season of Bridgerton.

Why does Hawk and Tim’s connection make them question everything they thought they knew about themselves?

Jonathan Bailey: You will never really know what Hawk and Tim would’ve been like [as a full-fledged couple]. You can’t judge them on anything, because there’s a survival element at play, which reflects the brutality of the world they were born into. As [the show] expands and this liberation blooms, we see more of [Hawk’s wife] Lucy [played by Allison Williams] and the impact of Hawk’s decisions on the characters around him.

To me, it’s a love story for the ages because you can follow any thread and it comes back to the political backdrop. But ultimately, there’s a real meeting of souls between the two. They complete each other in a way that’s so painful. But in a world where joy, connection and absolution are so hard to find, especially in the ’50s for gay men, it becomes addictive, and there are toxic cycles that come from it.

Matt Bomer: There are aspects of their own personal trauma that are complementary of each other.

JB: And they feed the other’s insecurities.

MB: The sad thing is, when Hawk is finally at a place where he can be his most authentic self and be available and empathetic enough to be a real partner in a relationship, it’s too late.

Hawk has a very specific moral code as a gay man living a double life in the 20th century: He is clearly able to show genuine affection for Tim, but he needs control in his relationships and is able to code-switch in public. Tim doesn’t understand Hawk’s ability to compartmentalize his life, but he still finds Hawk irresistible. How did you want to embody the many contradictions of your characters?

MB: For me, it all went back to Hawk’s childhood and that horrific incident that happened with his father [and his first love, Kenny]. He refuses to be a victim, so he’s going to find a way to survive and thrive in whatever way he can. It all ties into the fact that he will never be the victim of a homophobic society or family again.

JB: What Tim’s really drawn to in Hawk is his center. Hawk is the epicenter of all these people’s worlds because he doesn’t afford them space to veer him off in any direction. Tim’s always there for Hawk when he needs him, but Hawk’s never really there for Tim, and that is something Tim is drawn to. Tim’s quest in life is his desperate need for a groundedness, and the choice I made early on was to physicalize Tim so that his inner and outer world were matched.

Tim finds it really hard to lie; he can’t not be completely transparent. The decoding of Hawk is something that fills all sorts of needs in Tim. But as he gets older and [society’s] way of thinking aligns with his need to disassemble the cards he’s been given, Tim finds a stillness and a calm, which is reflected in the way he can then handle Hawk.

MB: Hawk does have his allegiances and his own sense of empathy, but if it comes down to anything that’s going to threaten his survival, he can go full Scorpio and cut it off. [He’s] a little Mother Teresa, a little Tony Soprano. [Laughs.]

JB: And in the performing of [those scenes], Tim felt so much more love than I thought he would. In episode two, I think it became more confusing to play Tim in the best possible way, because when he says, “I don’t understand you” [to Hawk], it’s because he can see the palpable empathy, love, and compassion. That is just as real as everything else, and that is a bind for Tim and really hard to step away from. When they look at each other, there’s no one else that’s ever existed. And if you’re lucky enough to have that with someone, it’s really hard to let that go.

There are little details that anchor each of Hawk and Tim’s sex scenes—the eye contact, the importance of consent, the shifting power dynamics, the negotiation of how much of yourself you’re willing to give to another person. How did you want to subvert traditional depictions of queer intimacy?

MB: We were so fortunate that those scenes were just an extension of the story, that the relationship was never the same after one of those scenes as it was before. It was always an externalization of what was going on with the characters internally.

JB: I think it’s a rule that [creator] Ron [Nyswaner] learned on Homeland where every single scene has to further the story—and that’s true of the sex scenes. Because there haven’t necessarily been elevated, eight-hourlong gay dramas like this; there was space to breathe, and that constant negotiation between the two of them is so vital. I remember speaking to [executive producer/director] Dan Minahan in Toronto. We had a good few hours, and we ended up talking about intimacy and how you can capture it on film. The thing that I understand [from] enjoying love stories or intimacy on film is the moments where they surprise each other.

MB: Yeah! It’s not like Hawk’s pushing the envelope the whole time; Tim upends Hawk as much as Hawk upends Tim’s expectations.

JB: We basically started with the chicken soup [scene in episode one], when Hawk seduces Tim for the first time. By the time we were in episode four, we were really emboldened as a team. As Jonny and Matt, we were always whispering, “This is absolutely fine, if you want to do this.” For so many people, it’s bizarre to think of that as a job. But when the material is as rich as this, no stone will go unturned into [depicting] how intricate, sensitive, celebratory, and joyful those moments are.

MB: I believe everybody should get to play every role, but I think the fact that we’re both openly gay men lent an ease and an understanding of a lot of the aspects of the relationship.

JB: You can have conversations between yourselves of why your instincts are cropping up in those moments. It was a bit like when, just before they dive, synchronized divers do that thing where they jump up and clap.

MB: [Laughs.] That was us! And there’s no [going] halfway in scenes like those that are written in this [show]. You know you have to go all the way.

Knowing that the entire emotional weight of their relationship rests on the penultimate line, “Promise you won’t write,” what did you want to convey in Hawk and Tim’s final scene together outside the governor’s ball? What do you remember from shooting their goodbye scene?

MB: I remember everything about that day.

JB: Yeah, I do too. Everything was in hyper-focus. It was overwhelming.

MB: It’s one of those scenes that you’re really glad you didn’t have to shoot on day two, because we had five and a half months of history [with] these characters. It was one of the last things we filmed together.

JB: I left [Toronto] early as well [to shoot Bridgerton], so we didn’t finish [shooting] together. We finished the love story in that scene.

MB: Yes, that’s right. It was one of those days at work where you have to try to get out of your own way and trust that all you’ve invested in these roles and these relationships will be inside of you. You don’t have to try to force or push anything; you have to just try to keep it alive and spontaneous when the cameras are rolling.

JB: I think we filmed it in the first take, didn’t we?

MB: Yeah.

JB: There are moments in that scene when it was like the world melted away. It’s amazing to see Tim establish his boundaries and be really kind with it. In that moment, he’s fully centered and aligned, and Hawk helps give him that final push to go, “I know what I’m doing, and what I’m saying is the right thing.” He’s never really known that with Hawk.

MB: Yeah, Hawk is finally emotionally vulnerable. I had every intention of coming into that scene and not letting any emotional vulnerability creep through, but it’s just one of those things where the scene takes over and you don’t want to block it.

Have either of you given much thought to what a second season of Fellow Travelers could look like?

JB: What I hope this [season] will be is a trampette into telling other queer stories, because two white gay men are the way in [to start a larger conversation], and it would be so interesting to have a world explored of [Jelani Alladin’s] Marcus and [Noah J. Ricketts’] Frankie. They were such a massive reason why I was like, “Okay, this is going to be good.”

MB: They weren’t in the book, and it was so important from the creatives that we included that narrative.

JB: I would totally come back and support Frankie’s story.

MB: Yeah, I would come in and do two days—whatever they need me for.

JB: Frankie and Marcus up front, and I’ll be there.

Surely, we all deserve to have the two of you star in a rom-com together (with a happier ending than this one).

JB: If someone comes up with it... Who would be the dream?

MB: To direct?

JB: Yeah. Luca Guadagnino?

MB: Yes, Luca or Andrew Haigh.

JB: We’ll do it!

MB: We’re there. And Russell T. Davies, if it’s a miniseries.

Have you discussed collaborating again in the future?

MB: Listen, sign me up to work with Jonathan Bailey any time. [They shake hands.] I will bring a tray to his character at the dinner table in a scene.

JB: Stop it. As long as it’s [like] Upstairs, Downstairs…

MB: [Laughs.] Yes, exactly. I would love that. Next time, I have to be British though. And I’ll come to London.

JB: I’ll be a Texan cowboy. [They laugh.]

In addition to Fellow Travelers, you both have new projects that will be debuting in the coming months. Matt, what were some of your takeaways from working with Bradley Cooper on Maestro?

MB: Bradley is such a generous and beyond talented scene partner—and his style of directing is so electric and present. He wants everything happening on the camera for the first time. I feel like I was really the beneficiary of his process before I started work on Fellow Travelers because I got to watch him and Carey [Mulligan] travel through all these phases of their multidecade romance. And then, [I was] getting to work with Johnny—who’s so similar in many regards, so generous, always keeping you on your toes and bringing things to the material that make the scene richer.

JB: Has Bradley watched Fellow Travelers?

MB: I keep telling him to! And Carey says she wants to. She keeps asking me where it’s on in England.

The third season of Bridgerton will premiere in two parts on May 16 and June 13, 2024. Jonathan, what new layers of Kate (Simone Ashley) and Anthony’s relationship will we see in the new season?

JB: I’m a massive fan of “Kanthony.” There’s so much to enjoy for both of them now, and we explore that in season three. They’ve overcome a lot. [We’re] talking about the need for communication in a romance, and that study of how they communicate and how little they did communicate until the very end [of season two]. So now, we can see them completely celebrate each other for who they are. There are really lovely conversations about heritage and familial roles, and once you meet someone who understands you fully, having sacrificed so much for the families as they both have, how exciting [it is] to make decisions that might change the course for them [as a couple].

Source

[lokiiied]

thinking about loki’s 400 year long stare at mobius when he says, “it’s about who”

and then how he looks at sylvie and says, “i can rewrite the story” and how she has her own story - without romance. how she told him to “write his own story” and how he’s now canonically god of stories/storytelling.

thinking about how if they make lokius canon, marvel’s first major canonically queer character will have “rewritten” the cishet centred narrative that a major audience is expecting and just how powerful that would be.

because, as much as i like the bisexual “confirmation” scene - it was very easy to look over if you’re a homophobic viewer or don’t know what bisexuality is. because they never had either of them say the words, “i am bisexual”. that and how they “dealt” with loki’s genderfluidity.

but a major gay couple?? with the healthiest and most intimate relationship i’ve EVER seen marvel write?? that would not be so easy to ignore. especially when you go back and see that it’s been there the whole time. if you knew what to look for. which, is honestly probably the queer vision in a nutshell. because cishets will be blind to anything if they see a man + woman option. they need “undeniable” proof. marvel knows that & it’s why they’ve gotten away with this. why they’re still “safe” for most of their anti-queer audience.

but just imagine, if loki fixes all this, get his friends back, and shows mobius know how he really feels and basically says “this has been the love story the whole time” THAT will be his legacy. in all the glorious i’m a god and i’ve been bad and i’m good and i’m queer and i have inherent worth just like everybody else and i don’t give a fuck loki fashion. and i hope to gods we get to see that.

that’s the story i want to see.

because if they turn around and give us sylki — (and in doing so say here’s a perfect example of a healthy gay relationship but instead we’re gonna give you a toxic genderbent selfcest romance) regardless of the fact we know they are both queer — that is not what a homophobic audience is going to see. they’re going to be satisfied that they didn’t see two men kissing on their screen and call it another win. and marvel would be continuing to encourage the idea that us queer fans are delusional - despite the clearly intentional writing.

not to mention the exhausting, intrinsically homophobic harassment & clowning lokius shippers have endured would actually not be for nothing if lokius were canon and marvel were to decide btw queer people are real and so are their stories and so is their love.

if the show about the genderfluid bisexual god of stories can’t accomplish that after all this character development then. idk.

[nanowrimo]

Three Ways to Pull from Within to be Authentic and Real in Your Writing

Writers are often told to write what they know, but what does that actually mean? NaNo participant Najla gives tips on how to to be authentic in your writing. I used pull in the title of this post because that’s what it felt like for me as a new writer to reach inside, yank out my pulsating heart, trudge up deep memories and conversations that I packed away, and be real in my writing.

What is being “real” in writing?

It can mean a lot of things to different people but for me, it means finding those raw, honest moments in my life that only I know and immersing those hidden things in my writing.

For many writers, we invite readers into our world to tell untold and interesting stories. We explore themes like hardships, struggle,inequality, conflict, misunderstandings, heartache, injustice, despair, growth, success, failure, and much more.

To add more depth to your stories and characters, consider leaning into your own experiences and past.

So, how can you use your personal life to be more real in your writing?

Start by asking yourself the following questions:

1. Have you ever felt or experienced hardship, struggle, misunderstanding, or failure? Of course, you have. Pick a life experience and reflect on what led up to that event. What did you feel during it? How did you or someone else change because of it? Write that down.

2. What conversations were a part of these experiences? Were they calm discussions, heated arguments, sobbing ugly cries, uncomfortable admissions, inconsiderate digs, or relentless back and forth comments? Write those down.

3. What were other people’s responses? Did they face the challenge, endure, run away, make excuses, lie, betray themselves or others, move to another place, do something drastic, or go silent? Write all that down.

If you’re having trouble coming up with something, pause and reflect on the some of following relationships and people that may have come into your life:

A classmate in school who had it out for you or competed with you

A teacher, coach, or mentor or adult who offered tough love

A friend or coworker or boss you parted ways with

A distant or close sibling or cousin you disagreed with

A disapproving family member

A person or relationship you grieved

Someone you relied on or who relied on you

A couple things to keep in mind:

1. Your characters don’t have to be anything like you to use this approach. The goal is to make your writing more real, honest, and authentic. Most people, no matter what they believe or think, have had an unfulfilled relationship, a disappointing experience, or a major disagreement with someone in their lives.

2. You don’t have to apply the experience or conversation you had to the same situation for your character. For example, your character may need to have a terrible argument with a sibling but you may draw from one that you had with a partner or spouse. But maybe a similar impetus can be used to start the argument. Perhaps the dialogue can draw from real words or phrases used. Or the resolution or lack of resolution may look and feel similar to what you experienced.

3. Your characters don’t have to have similar personalities or responses to you, but can be bothered by the things that get under your skin or bug you. As an example, think about how you handle it when someone cuts you off in traffic or steps in front of you in a line. Do you sneer or curse or let the person glide in?

Literary agent, Kat Kerr, once said that common vernacular is not so common.

Vernacular is a reflection of your own background and experiences, use your life as a way to draw out some real intense and emotional moments in your writing.

Oh and don’t forget to share what you write with me!

Manager of projects by day: Lyrical bandit by night;

Mom of Two Cool Kids and a Corgi named Cookie.

Najla writes historical fiction about fascinating people in history because real life makes for the best fiction! Her current search history is filled with questions like “When was Chanel No. 5 invented?” and “When did the newsboys stop?” Follow Najla on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok  Header Photo by Tran Le Tuan from Pexels

[sparkles-oflight]

Romeo and Juliet

Is this angst? Eh, not really.

Bojan and Kris' age: 18/17 (during the band break, no "real" romantic interactions)

Synopsis: It's the last week os summer vacation, Bojan shows up at Kris' house during the night and they sneak out

"Breathe, keep breathing Don't lose your nerve Breathe, keep breathing I can't do this alone"

Disclaimer: Please think of these as characters and not the actual people. I don’t encourage anyone to send this to any of the actual JO members nor do I encourage people to force any type of relationship between anyone.

Ema is a fictional name

The night was hot. Extremely.

Kris twisted and turned in his bed, turning his pillow every 2 seconds in hopes it would be just a bit colder each time. He even tried to let his window open to let some wind through and pretend that the cold shades coming from the moon outside would provoke some sort of psychological effect that would lead him to believe it was cold. That works, right?

Regardless, he can't sleep. It's his last week of vacation and he just can't sleep.

And even though he tells himself it's only because of heat, he knows it's not true. There was something bugging his mind for the past couple of months. Well... various. For starters: Ema dumped him. It's not like he treated him very nicely, but he always did whatever she wanted and how she wanted. One time they had a disagreement and puff: all the "love" she had for him was gone.

Then there was the elephant in the room: Bojan and the band.

After July and the Špil league, Kris barely saw any of the boys. Before, most of them were busy trying to get into university and pass all the exams, the band stopped being a priority, but now, in the few rehearsals they had, Bojan was absent.

- Aaaah. - he sighed in frustration.

He wanted to sleep and forget all those problems, he really wanted to...

But nobody gets what they want as he hears something hitting his room's outside wall - stupid birds.

But then he hears again, and again and again. Shit, he had to check.

Kris swiftly got up and checked on his window only to be blinded by an orange light of a flashlight.

- Ah, what the fuck!?

- Hi. - a voice coming from below smiled.

- Why do you have a flashlight, Bojan? - he asked as Bojan finally stopped pointing with the light at him, allowing him to recover his vision.

- I came to see you.

- Do you know what time it is?

- Yeah, time to pack and get dressed before your father hears us.

- Before all hell breaks lose?

- Precisely.

Kris didn't bother dressing up fancy or anything, he only put a shirt and shorts on – technically they were “summer pajamas” but who the fuck uses pajamas during summer? - and took a pair of flip-flops with him. He was as quiet as he could to not wake up any of his family members nor Apple, the dog.

When he reached the outside, Bojan was there and took him to his car that was parked two streets away.

When they got inside, Kris got curious:

- Where are we going?

- Today, we escape.

Kris wasn't sure where the two of them were going, but he was thrilled, though anxious at the same time.

Bojan drove them to a children's park in the center. Why? Kris doesn't know, he just did.

They both sat on a bench and the singer offered him a cigarette and Kris took it. Bojan lit his own and then gave Kris the lighter to light the other's.

- How have you been doing? - Bojan broke the silence.

- Great.

- Ema?

- We broke up.

- I feel ya.

- I know that... You and-

- Yup, also didn't last.

They stayed quiet for a few more moments.

- Are you scared? - Kris asked - About uni. Are you scared or anxious?

- Like anyone would. - he let the smoke escape his lungs - But I'm more scared of losing myself, to be honest. Kris...I have to tell you something.

Kris made a guess.

- You are leaving the band, right?

But Bojan didn't reply.

- Is this because of the fight you had? Bojan, I know you can finish the song! I know you can do it! It's nothing compared with what we already had to endure. We finally have someone behind us an-

- It's not just that. - he laughed in frustration - It's just... What if the band really doesn't work out? I mean, we haven't had a proper band practice in a while! I don’t even show up to rehearsal anymore because everyone seems busy with university. I know you will only start worrying about it now but...okay scratch that, you are always worried but! Kris...

Bojan threw his cigarettes on the floor and stepped on it.

- I don't think we can make it as a band either... realistically, a solo singer is more successful.

- Is that really what boils down to you?

- No...more like: I don't know what else I want to do with my life. If not music, then what? I already devoted myself so much to it! And I even started writing some songs for myself.

Bojan hesitated before continuing.

- And I’ve met a producer that has promised me things... He says I have the voice for it. This might be my chance, Kris.

Kris also threw his cigarette on the floor and stepped on it, angrily.

- Bojan, it's just not fair. - he turned to Bojan and stared at him as if he wanted to grab him and demand he stayed in the band forever - If you keep drinking out of that "fountain of wisdom", I hope you choke. I hope your voice drowns.

Kris got up, pretty angrily and didn't direct Bojan a word. However, he only took a few steps away from him before going back to him immediately. He grabbed the fucking flashlight out of Bojan’s hand - seriously why did he have that? - and turned it on. He pointed with the light towards Bojan's heart.

- One chance. Give me one chance and I'll show you that the band is worth fighting for.

- What will you try to do?

- I'll... - the wheels in his head started turning - I'll sing us a song. A song to keep us warm.

- And try you will.

♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩

(I didn't quote the hunger games at the end, shut up)

Polaroid Photos Universe | Recommended next: Gola

[heartlandians]

Christmas in August, part 1/5

Newlyweds Shane and Chloe have just added a new extension to the Bartlett-Fleming-Morris family, but when it seems the couple won't be able to make it "home for the holidays", Tim comes up with an idea to make their first extended family Christmas happen.

Characters: Shane, Chloe, Tim, Miranda, Jack, Lisa, Amy, Lyndy, Lou, Katie, Nathan, (Paul).

A/N: Set around the time of the season 17 finale.

****

The sun was setting behind the treeline on a late August evening and it lit up the silhouettes of the wild herd of horses that were grazing not too far away from the wedding that had taken place where Amy's plot of land laid.

Most of the guests had already left, but not before sharing their praises about how wonderful "the avenue" had been and saying how they had never seen a wedding as beautiful as this.

The only ones lingering where the core family. Even Chloe's parents had returned to Calgary where they had a rented apartment for few days. They were planning to join the happy couple when they'd go and explore the area in just two days.

The newlyweds, Shane and Chloe, had been pleasantly surprised just how well the wedding had gone after all the pitfalls they had had to endure before Amy and Lou had come up with this solution to use this location for the celebration.

The place had been ideal with its scenery and the living backdrop of wild horses minding their business behind them. The playing of the violin and the cello had been a nice touch as well, but now that the artists had packed their instruments and left, the family could hear the birds chirping and the distant whinnying echoing in the valley.

It was a perfect way for the family to wind down after the wedding.

Chloe stood next to Shane, admiring the view and wearing his suit jacket over her bare shoulders, sipping the last of the champagne while the chairs were being folded and decorations were taken down behind them.

Jessica took a quick snapshot of the relaxed moment, hoping to capture something real. When she examined the results on the screen of her camera, it was easy to see that with this couple capturing their love came easy.

"Should we go and give them a hand?" Miranda, the mother of the groom, asked from Lou, pointing toward the crew that had rented the chairs and the wedding arc.

Lou shook her head, holding a bottle of champagne on one hand and her glass on the other.

"I asked, but they said they were fine", Lou replied. "More champagne?" she then offered, seeing there was still something left in the bottle.

"Don't mind if I do", Miranda said with a smile.

Not too far away, Amy was pushing Lyndy in the swing, taking turns with Jack, Lisa and Katie. The girl couldn't get enough of it.

Meanwhile, Tim stepped closer to the newlyweds.

"I don't think I said it yet, but welcome to the family, Chloe", Tim said, coming in to give his new daughter-in-law a hug. "Officially."

"Thank you, Tim", Chloe replied, hugging him back, careful not to drop Shane's jacket.

Shane watched them hug, feeling very happy in this moment.

"So, now that your plans about London have changed..." Tim began talking when they leaned backwards, "I would like to invite you over for Christmas. -- We can make that happen, can't we, Lou?" he looked over his shoulder, toward his older daughter.

Thankfully Lou had picked that up and continued the plan.

"Oh, absolutely. I can make the arrangements. It would be fun to have us all together for the first time like this", Lou joined her dad's idea, putting away the empty champagne bottle.

"Exactly", Tim nodded. "I mean, Chloe, you really want to see the Dude Ranch during the winter too."

Shane and Chloe both smiled politely - thankful for the invite - as she returned to him, but it seemed like something was holding them back.

"Well, actually", Shane began, loving how excited his dad was about the whole thing, but feeling the awkwardness of having to decline the offer. "We are going to be spending our Christmas and New Year's in China, with Chloe's extended family. I haven't really had a chance to meet them properly and--"

"--we're going to have this tea ceremony and a banquet over there as well", Chloe stepped in to help Shane explain.

"Oh..." Tim said, smiling, but the twinkle in his eyes dimming. "So... you'll be gone for... how long?"

"The whole of December and the first week of January as well", Shane explained. "You know, since we're going there, we might as well stay for a while."

"I'm just glad we've both been able to make it work with our jobs", Chloe added. "I know it wasn't exactly ideal for me to go in with the offer from Philly and say "I can start in January", but... I think they really want me, so..."

"Right, right", Tim kept repeating as he nodded. "So, are the holidays a big thing there...?" he wondered, not really knowing much about the culture, but figured it was about time to change that.

"Actually, not really. It's more like a commercial thing, say, like Valentine's Day, almost. But..." Chloe began to explain, but then laughed a little bit, wondering if maybe Shane's side of the family wasn't able to understand the next bit.

However, now that she gave it some thought, they had been very helpful with making sure that her culture would be presented in the wedding ceremony along Shane's.

Especially Lou who had made a list of things Chloe had wanted to incorporate to the wedding, and she really had delivered them all.

So maybe they were going to be understanding of this, too.

"My grandmother has consulted a fortune teller", she finally said. "So the timing of our visit is really important."

"A fortune teller...?" Jessica asked, curiously, beating Tim to the punch.

"Yes. About the timing for the tea ceremony and the banquet. It's about bringing success to our marriage", Chloe explained further.

Tim nodded, even though he had never heard about it, he could understand why these type of traditions were important to people. He had his own traditions too, after all, some of them very spiritual.

Miranda followed the look on everyone's faces, reveling in the fact that she knew all about it already.

"Oh yes, Shane even had to let them know his birthday details, zodiac sign and everything", she then shared, recalling Shane coming to her to ask about the details he wasn't aware of.

While Shane's birth had not been the perfect memory at the time, as she had been alone in a hospital room, trying to bear the cramps and the contractions while nurses and midwives had been prepping her for what was about to come.

All Miranda had wanted back then had been someone there to support her through the labor, but it had just been her and the hospital staff and just like that, a new chapter in her life had begun.

Now, looking at what a fine young man Shane had turned into, all those memories felt distant in the light of the pride she was beaming with now.

"That's really interesting", Tim said - and meant it too. It was his disappointment about the plan not coming to fruition that made it seem like he was just saying that to sound polite.

"Well, maybe we could make this happen next Christmas then", Lou suggested.

It was a bummer her brother and his new wife couldn't make it over this Christmas, but there were other years now that they were reunited again in a more meaningful way.

After all, she could understand how important meeting Chloe's extended family probably was for Shane. Even though her first time meeting Peter's parents had not been perfect, it had still been an important milestone in their history as a couple.

"You know, if we give you the heads up now, we might actually make this happen then", Lou added.

Chloe nodded along.

"Sure, that sounds fun", she said and looked like she was already excited about the idea. "I'd love to see your traditions and Heartland and the Dude Ranch during winter!"

"It's like a winter wonderland, honestly", Shane knew from experience. "Even though it gets bitterly cold, it's beautiful."

"I believe it", Chloe said, letting her hand rest on Shane's chest as they were standing side by side.

Her eyes drifted toward the two bands on her left ring finger and she couldn't help but smile, slowly realizing how it was all official now. The diamond is her engagement ring probably sparkled just as brightly as the fresh snow during Alberta winter.

"I'm just so glad I was able to show you this place - these people - and get married here. It means so much to me", Shane said to Chloe, getting lost in their own little bubble for a while.

"Me too. I know you tried to paint the picture of it all, but you really didn't do all of it justice. I don't know if anyone can..." Chloe said, sighing out of an awe. "There is one thing I feel like was missing, though... Someone I've heard endless stories about."

"Oh yeah? Who's that?" Shane asked, wondering who was not here.

Ty, of course, Shane thought, but Chloe knew that he had passed away few years ago, so him missing the wedding wasn't surprise in that way.

"Didn't you say you had a horse?" Chloe teased. "I guess now that I know how to ride, it would have been cute to go and have a ride together with your very own horse, my cowboy..."

"Oh, Pal!" Shane let out a laugh. "Yeah... I did have a horse. He might not be around anymore, but I'm sure we can still go for a trail ride tomorrow. -- Right, dad?" he checked.

Tim was in his own little world too, thinking back to those times when Shane had still been a little kid - learning how to be a true cowboy - and now the only thing reminding Tim of that was the belt buckle Shane had decided to wear with his suit.

"Dad...?" Shane repeated.

Tim's attention was now back to his son as he lift up his head. "Yeah?"

"We can still go for one last ride tomorrow, can't we? This time Chloe can join us", Shane said.

"Yeah. Of course. Absolutely", Tim assured them, smiling.

The laughter behind them, coming from the swing, had gone quiet a little while ago, but no one had taken notice yet, not before Amy walked over with Lyndy in her arms.

The young girl looked fatigued and pale.

"Lou, can you feel Lyndy's head?" Amy requested.

Lou turned to feel her niece's forehead, seeing the worry on her sister's face already.

"She's burning up", Lou confirmed Amy's suspicions.

"That's what I thought", Amy said, worrying over her daughter. "I'm going to have to cut this after celebration short, but before we go, I just wanted to say that the ceremony was absolutely beautiful and you looked amazing on Powder, Chloe", she added, rubbing Lyndy's back gently.

"Thanks", Chloe said, feeling both honored and worried over Lyndy. It was impressive how quickly she had gotten attached to this family already. "I had the best teacher."

"You're a good student", Amy praised with a smile.

"Is Lyndy gonna be okay?" Chloe had to ask before they'd leave.

"Yeah, I'm sure she will be. She probably just needs rest. Might be a sun stroke, or something", Amy suspected as they had been outside almost the whole day. "I'll ask Grandpa and Lisa to give us a ride back home. -- I'll see you before you leave", she continued, giving Shane a meaningful look, letting her brother know that she didn't want him to leave before they had said their goodbyes.

"Feel better soon, Lyndy", Shane said, gently stroking Lyndy's head. "And see you later, sis", he added to Amy, making sure he'd hold her to it.

"Maybe it's time to wrap things up for us as well", Lou figured, fishing Katie under her arm when her daughter walked back from the swing as well.

"Probably best for all of us", Shane said.

They still had their wedding night ahead of them, even though right now he felt exhausted from all the nerves that had not released until he had seen Chloe ride down the aisle on Powder.

"We'll give you guys a ride", Miranda said, finishing her champagne. "I'll go find Paul. He had to take a phone call", she added, rolling her eyes.

Everyone started collecting their things, making sure they'd leave the place as they had found it.

"I'll see you tomorrow, son", Tim wanted to say and gave Shane's shoulder a light squeeze.

Shane smiled. "Yeah. Can't wait for that trail ride."

[denimbex1986]

'He starred in one of the year’s most profoundly moving films, All of Us Strangers, and won praise for bringing Uncle Vanya to the London stage. Now Andrew Scott continues an impressive run of work by giving audiences a fresh take on one of the most iconic characters of them all.

Since US novelist Patricia Highsmith first brought Tom Ripley to life in a series of novels, the shrewd criminal and con-artist has enthralled readers and audiences alike.

Over the years, actors including Alain Delon, John Malkovich and Matt Damon have brought Ripley to the screen. Now the Dublin actor takes a deep dive into Ripley in a new series for Netflix - and characteristically makes the role his own. Not only does Scott take on an American accent for the role - impressively, he learned to speak Italian to play the character, who moves to the Mediterranean in the late 1950s.

“I had a wonderful Italian teacher and learned it for three or four months before we started just so you could understand it. It's a beautiful language to speak. And then of course, when you're around it, you become more interested in it," says Scott.

“It's one of the things you have to get used to a little bit as an actor - you've got to become really adept at something for a particular period, and then you have to move on to something else. I love that about acting, actually. But I'll try to keep it, I'm going to go back to Italy this year.”

Scott has given us a Ripley for the ages in the suspenseful series. It’s written and directed by Steven Zaillian, whose previous screenwriting credits include Schindler’s List, The Irishman and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

Zaillian brings Hitchcockian levels of tension to the storytelling, shot in black and white and striking in its attention to detail.

“It's the most extraordinary character and we spend so much time inside his mind and inside his world,” says Scott of taking on Ripley. “I think that's what's remarkable about it. Sometimes in a television series where there's eight hours of this, it might be about a couple, or a police department, or a family, or a hospital. This is really based on one person. We spend so much time with this guy, the character's in 95% of the eight hours, that's an awful lot of time to spend with one character.

“And so the challenge of it is to not blot the copybook too much in relation to how wonderful the mystery of the man is, as well as what we do know about him, which is that he is an enduring character that people love. But I think the questions about him, and his mysteriousness and his secretiveness, are a reason that he's so fascinating to play.”

Understandably, he opted not to watch other performances depicting Tom Ripley, though he had seen Alain Delon in Purple Noon and Matt Damon in The Talented Mr Ripley years previously.

“I love both those versions for different reasons. It's happened before in relation to Shakespearean characters, you think: ‘Oh, I don't want to see that’. You want to be able to put your own stamp on it.

“I was very lucky because I received the full eight hours of scripts, a big pile of scripts to read, which is very unusual for an actor. You usually get maybe one or two episodes. I had the whole thing mapped out and I knew immediately how extraordinarily written they were and sparsely written.

“I love the film noir-ish element to it. It's absolutely exquisite to look at and I love the opaqueness of playing this character. It felt like a real departure for me.”

The series was shot in New York and various glamorous locations throughout Italy including Rome, Capri, the Amalfi Coast and Palermo, as Scott’s Tom Ripley travels to Europe to seek out an old acquaintance, the wealthy and privileged Dickie Greenleaf (Johnny Flynn).

As a boy, a shy Scott took up acting classes and quickly fell in love with the craft - playing the Tin Man in one of his first ever performances.

Years later, he went on to star in several Irish dramas including Jimmy’s Hall and Handsome Devil. He gave us the villainous Moriarty in a TV adaptation of Sherlock and the legendary ‘hot priest’ in Fleabag.

“I think we all as human beings want to do something that's of use to other people,” he says of his career. “You want to do something that's useful in the world. I suppose I appreciate more now, how much this can be of use to people, and how it genuinely helps.

“I do feel like I try to force myself sometimes into appreciating that what I do can be of use to people and it's not a frivolous thing, because I know that actors and artists of all different persuasions have really helped me.”

There have been many memorable screen performances from the Irish actor, but theatre is at the very heart of what he does, and his recent successes include an award-winning run of Vanya, which also screened widely in cinemas.

“It's just like injecting the atmosphere straight into your veins,” he says of live performance. “You don't wait around - you're the chief artist, if I'm honest, as an actor. In the theatre, you're in charge.

“If the audience is getting bored, it's your job to pick the pace up, it's your job to be sort of all seeing, and there's nothing like that. If you don't exercise those muscles, you lose them and I don't want to lose them. I find it just the purest form of storytelling. Vanya was exhilarating, and exhausting, and all the things.”

Scott brought audiences one of the finest screen performances of the year in All of Us Strangers, which audiences are falling in love with on streaming services following its successful cinema run. He and his friend and co-star Paul Mescal entertained fans with their banter while publicising the film.

“It's been extraordinary,” says Scott of the film’s reception. “I’m still processing that actually, how affecting the film was for people. I suppose I understand for my own personal reasons more now why it affected people so much.

“I did that project with people that I really love - Paul especially. And when we brought it back to Ireland it was completely magical for both of us. It was very, very special. I'm very grateful to have just been part of it, not just the film, but the process and the reception and everything about it.”

Ripley comes to Netflix from Thursday, April 4. www.netflix.com/Ripley.'