cromatopsia

[lxclerc]

𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 — 𝐜𝐥𝟏𝟔

summary... wherein old photos of you and charles resurface and goes viral, forcing you and the man whose heart you broke to cross paths once again request… no faceclaim... christina nadin pairing… charles leclerc x reader warning… none so far

note... this is going to be part of a series that includes both one shots and smau but can be read as a stand alone

series masterlist main masterlist

current part (part one) → part two

charleslec

liked by username and others

charleslec fans found an old instagram account allegedly belonging to charles from (what we believe to be) ages 12 - 20. the account is filled of personal pictures consisting of his supposed ex girlfriend, y/n y/l/n with sweet captions. y/n is a well known motorsport podcaster from monaco.

view all comments…

username EXCUSE ME?

username this was not in my 2023 bingo card 😭

username you mean to tell me my girl yn dated shARL

username the way that this is probably why she’s had practically the entire grid as guests in her podcast apart from charles

username this is such an invasion of their privacy though like clearly they both didnt want this to be dug up

⤷ username i mean if they didn’t want anyone to see, they should have deleted the account or at the very least put it on private

username okay but these pictures are so 🥹

username i always thought it was weird the way charles and yn never interacted despite both being from monaco and involved the racing world

charles_lec7

liked by lorenzotl and others

charles_lec7 Joyeux anniversaire, mon amour. il y a 16 ans, tu es venu au monde et c'est la meilleure chose qui me soit arrivée. je suis toujours là pour t'écouter parler de n'importe quoi pendant des heures en attendant le coucher du soleil, malgré la plainte d'enzo qui ne veut pas nous conduire 🤣🤣

(happy birthday, my love. 16 years ago, you came into this world and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. i’m always here to listen to you talk about whatever for hours while waiting for sunset despite enzo’s complaint against driving us.)

view all messages… July 7, 2013

yourusername Merci beaucoup, mon ange. Je suis tellement reconnaissante d'avoir passé un autre anniversaire avec toi. Je t'aime plus que les mots ❤️❤️ (thank you so much, my angel. i am so grateful to have spent another birthday with you. i love you more than words.)

⤷ charles_lec7 J'ai hâte de vous souhaiter un joyeux anniversaire 70 fois de plus. (looking forward to greeting you happy birthday 70 more times.)

⤷ username he was going to greet her 70 more happy birthdays because he thought they’d spend the rest of their life together 😭😭

⤷ username i only learned about them today but i am a child of divorce and they are my parents

jules_bianchi Joyeux anniversaire, yn!! Je suis toujours là pour veiller sur toi et Charles quand vous avez besoin de moi. (happy birthday, yn!! i’m always here looking out for you and charles whenever you need me.)

⤷ yourusername merci, jules ❤️ nous t'encourageons toujours (thank you, jules. we’re always rooting for you.)

⤷ username oh my god 🥲🥲🥲

username i ran as fast as i could as soon as i saw the posts and oh my god it’s true 😭

username they’ve 😭😭 been 😭 together 😭😭 since 😭😭 they 😭😭 were 16 😭😭

⤷ username if you scroll even further down, he first greeted her on her 13th birthday where he called her the prettiest girl 🥲

⤷ username i’m about to stab myself

username y’all ever thought that the reason why he probably wanted number 7 is because her birthday is july 7 which is 7/7

⤷ username STOP IT RN

⤷ username his username has 7 in it bc it’s her birthday 🥲

⤷ username someone fucking sedate me

charles_lec7

liked by arthur_leclerc and others

charles_lec7 entrer en 2016 avec la même fille qu'en 2010. mon amour, je te tiendrai la main pour toujours ❤️❤️ (entering 2017 with the same girl from 2010. my love, i’ll hold your hand forever.)

view all comments… January 1, 2016

arthur_leclerc vous êtes tous les deux si ennuyeux 🙄🙄 (you’re both so annoying)

⤷ yourusername arrêtez d'être jaloux (stop being jealous)

lorenzotl Bonne année à vous deux! (happy new year to the both of you!)

⤷ yourusername je t'aime, enzo

yourusername Tu ne m'as pas demandé de sortir avec toi avant 2012 🤔🤔 (you didn’t ask me on a date till 2012 though)

⤷ charles_lec7 Je t'aime depuis bien plus longtemps que tu ne le penses (i love you far longer than you’ve known)

⤷ joris_trouche Malheureusement, je peux le confirmer en tant que personne qui a dû tout écouter. (unfortunately i can confirm this as someone who had to listen to everything)

⤷ yourusername ❤️❤️

yourusername and to many more years to come. Je t'aimerai pour le reste de ma vie (i’ll love you for the rest of my life)

⤷ charles_lec7 as long as i’m with you

username no because they legitimately seem so in love????? like from their words and not just the pictures

⤷ username there’s no way you’re going to tell me that a man who said “i’ve loved you far longer than you’ve known” and a girl who said “i’ll love you for the rest of my life” are no longer in love

username scrolling through this account is like watching their relationship unfold and mature before my eyes

username there’s no way you can tell me that two people so in love, looking forward to the future they plan to have together can just fall out of love and be complete strangers a few years later

⤷ username right!!!! because what do you mean love like this can exist and somehow just fade? what’s the point of love then??????

username the rest of us really be having an existential crisis because of a relationship that ended 6 years ago 😭

charles_lec7

liked by yourusername and others

charles_lec7 10 years from now, i hope it’s still you by my side

view all comments… November 5, 2017

yourusername félicitations, f2 world champion 🎉🥳 (congratulations)

⤷ charles_lec7 Merci, mon amour, je t'aime tellement. (thank you, my love. i love you so much.)

⤷ yourusername 💕

⤷ username i think this is the end guys 😔

⤷ username her energy is so different here. she literally sounds more like a friend greeting a friend rather than a girlfriend of 6 years by this point

username how did we go from “looking forward to greet you 70 more times) bc they were so sure they’d grow old together to “10 years from now, i hope it’s still you by my side” where he sounds so uncertain if they’re in each other’s futures???????

⤷ username no fuck that because how the fuck did we go from “i love you more than words” and “i’ll love you for the rest of my life” to a “💕” without even an i love you too???????????

username this is his last post of her 🥲🥲🥲

⤷ username she doesn’t even follow this account anymore

⤷ username he abandoned this account after they broke up 😭😭

username no bc he’s f2 champion here and they were still together but he entered formula 1 single??? what the hell happened

yourusername

liked by lissiemackintosh and others

yourusername in another life

view all comments…

lissiemackintosh gorgeous gorgeous girl

⤷ yourusername no you

madisonbeer 🔥🔥🔥

yourbestfriend un voyage dans le passé ? (a trip down memory lane?)

⤷ yourusername 😵😬

username no bc your love story had me tearing up and now i refresh my feed and see this?

username she wanted to remind charles what he lost 😭

username in another life!!! i would have been your girlllllll

username literally the one that got away

username i simply can’t accept that this is the end of their story like this can’t be it, right?

taglist: @ncentic @coffeehurricanes @academia-girl00 @nhlfs @livinglifethroughfanfic @sage-butterflyy @chimchimjiminie16 @thatgirlmj @hiraethrhapsody 

[websterss]

COMING BACK (2) HAPPY ENDING — ETHAN LANDRY 

SUMMARY: Sam had given you an ultimatum when it came to Ethan, both choices didn’t feel right to you, so you chose to go along with what felt right. You were glad you had chosen right.

WARNING(S): angst, mentions of killing, mentions of dying, knife wound, fluff ending.

WORD COUNT: 2,451

PAIRING: Ethan Landry x fem!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always welcomed!

MASTERLIST

PART 1 | PART 2: SAD ENDING

You didn’t know how long you had waited for. Perhaps a few minutes since he last left the closet. Perhaps more than half an hour. The long-awaited return of Ethan felt like hours. You succumb to the darkness surrounding you. Sliding down one of the walls and waiting. Your eyes glanced around hoping to catch a glimpse of light but the only light you received was from the bottom of the door. The only thing holding you together. The rushed boots and fast swipe of a shadow running past the door had you holding your breath. Not like they knew where you were. In Sam and Tara’s case, you assumed that didn’t work in your favor. If things were to go south which you didn’t doubt would happen, they wouldn’t know where to locate you, possibly thinking you were dead and dying. Some part of you was, knowing how the love of your life had become a stranger to you after revealing himself to you.

The minutes prior to hiding you made you wonder if he’d have really hurt you had you not told him you were pregnant. Would he have plunged the knife into your side where you were once stabbed by Amber? Would he have really ended what you found to be some of the most enjoyable three months together? You weren’t sure and yet you held onto the hope of him coming to get you, to tell you everything was over. So when a shadow neared the closet and swung open the door, your heart picked up and your smile grew, but as you locked eyes with Sam and then with Tara’s, your nightmare began.

“Oh thank god!” Sam rushed forward to cup your face, wiping away tears that fell down your face. “I’m so glad you’re okay! Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?” All you could muster was a shake of your head. Words betraying you.

“Holy shit, he wasn’t lying…” Tara gave you a once-over.

“Where–“ You swallow a knot forming in your throat. “Where is he?” Your voice cracked. “S-Sam? Where is he?”

Sam sighs, glancing back to Tara with a look you couldn’t recognize. Then looked back to you. She stood up, holding her hand out like a mother gesturing for her child to grab a hold of her. You did and allowed her to guide you out of the closet and down the hall where you and Ethan rushed down earlier.

When you came out into the clearing you noticed the mop of hair you loved to mess with. Sam let you go. You had taken cautious steps towards where he was sitting against a display case. When you rounded the case and his head turned towards you tiredly. You gasped and ran forward. Doing so in relief because he was okay. Your knees hit the ground hard. You didn’t mind the pain that started though. You didn’t mind it one bit. You let out a shaky laugh. Your hands holding his red and sweaty face gently.

“H-Hey…” He breathed out tiredly. His eyes doing their best to remain open. His smile only grew upon seeing you. “You’re okay…” He sighed, his shoulders relaxing. “I least I’ll know you’ll be….be okay now.” His breath hitched. You teared up again, your eyes furrowing in confusion at the sudden release of his slow intake of air. You give him a once over and when you finally look down where his hand holds his bleeding wound. You gasp. Upon careful inspection, he was stabbed in multiple areas too.

“E-Ethan you’re hurt!” Your breath grew shaky.

“I didn’t know…” You whip your head over to Sam approaching you both. She shakes her head, guilt-ridden over her face.

“What?” Your brows furrow.

“I didn’t think he was telling the truth. I thought he was lying to get us to trust him…I thought you were dead, so I stabbed him!” Sam gestured to the knife still lodged in him. “Then he helped us kill his dad and I didn’t know what to believe anymore! You hunted us down. You were about to kill Y/n, then you help us? What the fuck Ethan!”

“I’m sorry…” He frowns with a heavy sigh. “I guess I’m better…better at following than making the plans. I’m sorry.” He swallows the lump in his throat.

“Sorry ain’t good enough.” Sam frowns.

“Sam he knows…” Your head drops.

She perks up at this. “What? You told him?”

“Yeah…I did.” You look back and met his eyes.

“So he hid you…” She nods, putting together his thought process and trying to make sense of the situation. “What if she wasn’t huh?“ Ethan looks up slowly to meet her gaze. “Would you still have hidden her then?”

He looks over at you. You honestly didn’t want to know what his answer would be. Scared you’d be met with the opposite. “No…” He croaks out. “I-I’m sorry okay. I don’t know what more…you want me to say.” He trails off. His head fell into his shoulder. His eyes closed.

“Hey, no, no. Hey Ethan!” You frantically pat his face hoping he’d come to but he wasn’t responding. “H-Hey…Open your eyes!” You cry out. Lifting his head to be upright. Your teary-eyed vision was blurred. “Hey, open your eyes for me!” You sniffled as you feel for his pulse. It was still there but faint. Your head falls onto his chest sighing in relief but you still grew weary. You pulled back and wiped under your nose. You had a plan and you had to act fast on it.

“What are you doing?” Sam questions you as you start pushing up the black robe up his torso. You lifted the hem up, ripping the cloth so it wouldn’t touch the knife lodged into his side. You push it up and then work on getting his arms out of the holes. When the costume drapes over his neck you carefully hold his neck and take it off him completely. The gloves he wore were next. “Y/n, what are you doing?” Sam cuts in again but doesn’t stop you. You sniffle wiping your nose once more as you rid him of the costume.

“H-He’s not going down for this...” You stand.

“You can’t be serious!” She scoffs.

“I am, burn it!” You toss her the costume and gloves. “He can’t get the help he needs if he’s locked up.”

“Maybe that’s what he needs. To go to jail! He killed our friends!” She solemnly reminds you. You look down closing your eyes. “Anika, Chad!”

“I know! I know that! I know it, okay…please, I just need him to not be incarcerated right now okay? You don’t have to forgive him. Hell, I don’t even think I can.“ Tears fall down your face. You press your hands against your stomach. “I at least would like to not go through this alone without him.” Your blurred vision meets her conflicted expression. She doesn’t know what to do or say. “I don’t know if this makes me fucked up for not wanting him to die or go to jail. I can’t look past what he’s done to us I know that. I know that. Anika was very dear to me. I don’t know if I have the strength to forgive him, but he’s my person. I gave him every piece of myself for months, and he made everything feel like it was all for nothing in a second. A second Sam, he broke me in a second and he’s this baby's father and I hate him for what he’s done. What do I do with that, Sam?” You plea. “I don’t know what to do. What do I do?” You cup your forehead. “H-He said he wouldn’t have saved me…What the fuck do I do with that?” You point to him.

“You let him go.” Tara cuts in. You meet her somber expression.

“I don’t know if I can…”

“It’s not an easy thing to do,” Sam says. “It’s your call here though.” You meet her gaze. “But the way I see it. There’s really only two ways this can go tonight. You can save him, and let him go, or let him die.” Water brims your waterline as she says this. You look back down to the guy who put you back together and then slammed his fist down on your finished puzzle. All your pieces felt scattered now, with no way of resembling your broken heart. Had it really been two choices this whole time? One of life or one of death. One of love or one of loss. Sam made it seem so easy. Yet this was the hardest choice you’ve ever had to decide on. What was to be was up to you now. You could save him or you could let him go…

-

The ultimatum Sam left you with had taken a huge toll on you. You couldn’t fathom the idea of going through with either decision. The thought of losing him at all didn’t sit right with you. It only made you want to fight for him more, especially now.

“Y/n. Y/n?” You come out of your daze as the hand that waves in front of your face becomes clear. You blink rapidly, shaking your head. “Hey, you okay?”

“Sorry, what?” Your cheeks heat up as Sam shakes her head. 

“You okay? I lost you there for a second.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. I was just thinking.”

“Wanna talk about it?” She nudges you.

“No. No not today. I wanna enjoy this day and forget about everything.” Your smile grows as the faint giggles of your little one go in and out of your ears. You and Sam laugh as Ethan chases after her, his hands out like false claws. The growls he emits causes her to scream and run away so as to not be caught by him. When he catches her she squeals as he attacks her with kisses. You lean back on your hands content, as he walks over to you. Sam, having just gotten up to play frisbee with the others.

“Argh!” He takes a playful bite out of her cheek. He falls over the blanket and pretends to faint. 

“Mommy, daddy’s being silly.”

“He is silly.” You giggle as he peers over at her with one eye. Giggles emit from her as she plops on top of his chest. 

“Daddy wake up.” She pokes at his cheeks, a slight pout on her lips.

Ethan lets out a fake yawn and wakes up. “Mmm? What happened?” He looks around, you and Sammy shake your heads at his antics. He sits up and stretches his arms above his head. You sneak a glance at where his shirt rises. His stomach, and a bit of a happy trail peek out. Your staring isn’t lost on him. It’s not long before he’s scooting over to your side, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. You hum contently, turning your head to grant him a smile.

“What’s wrong?”

“Mmm?” You furrow your brows. “What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong?” You chuckle, brushing back his curls with your hand. Your palm slides down to his cheek. Holding him as he stares at you with concern. 

“You’ve been dazing off a lot. It’s got us all worried.” Ethan adverts his gaze to glance at the others playing frisbee. “It’s got me worried. You were like this after Samantha was born, I just want to make sure that whatever you’re going through that you’re not alone and I’m here if you want to ta-”

“Shhh. Hey.” You trace over his bottom lip gently. “I’m okay. I promise. I just get thrown back to that night sometimes. It’s just hard to shake the memories.” You shrug it off. “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure that’s all?” He frowns. 

“I’d tell you if something else was bothering me.” You lean in and kiss his cheek.

“Promise.”

“Yes, my love, I promise...” You exaggerate your voice, bursting into fits of giggles, as he rolls his eyes at your antics. Upon the sounds of your laughter, Samantha’s curiosity is peaked as she finds her parents snuggly and close. You both turn as she plops on top of you both causing you to groan.

“Oh ho.” You both groan as you embrace her. “What is Uncle Chad feeding you? You’re getting so big, my love! What happened to my little Sammy? You’re growing up so fast!” You coo, cupping her chubby cheeks. The pout she pulls gnaws at your heartstrings. You and Ethan sit up.

“It was only an ice cream. Uncle Chad told me not to tell you...I’m sorry.”

“What? Oh, baby no. It’s okay. We’re not mad. It’s okay to have sweets, especially today of all days, my birthday girl. We just don’t want your tummy to hurt if you do eat too much okay? We’re not mad at you, baby.” You pull her in and plant a big kiss on her cheeks. Ethan kisses her other cheek. 

“Okay, mommy.” Samantha nods.

“What flavor was it?” Ethan smirks, leaning in as he asks her.

“Chocolate and strawberry.” Her eyes light up.

“Chocolate and strawberry! And you didn’t save me some! Aw, man!” He falls on his back.

“We can go get you one Daddy.” Ethan lifts his head at her suggestion.

“Do I get the double scoops?”

“I-I don’t know...if mommy says it’s okay.” Samantha shrugs. Next thing you know, Ethan meets your gaze with a cheeky smile. 

“What do you say, mommy, can daddy get two scoops?” He pouts at you, fluttering his eyelashes.

“As long as you bring back one for Mommy, then I say it’s okay.” You scrunch your nose, as you poke her stomach playfully. Her giggles have you beaming with joy.

“Yes!” Ethan claps, standing up to full height. Now once again towering over you and Samantha. “Come on Sammy, let’s go.” He extends his hand out for her to take.

“Thank you, mommy!” She kisses you on the lips and takes Ethan’s hands. 

“Muah!” You smile at her.

“Brb. You want a combo right?” He looks down at you on the blanket.

“I’m kind of craving that chocolate and strawberry combo now.” You giggle.

“One chocolate and strawberry ice cream for mommy, coming right up! Argh, you’re so big!” He fake groans as he bends down for Samantha to get on his back. “Stop growing!” He teases, then sprints off to the ice cream cart that was on the other side of the park. 

“You’re silly, daddy!” Samantha chuckles.

“Super silly...” You mutter to yourself as you watch them walk across the grass.

[wolfjackle-creates]

Bring Me Home Arc 2 Part 16

Happy WIP Wednesday everyone! Sorry I missed last week, but I think I should be good to get back on track going forward. Finished making most of the baby things I want to make for my soon-to-be nephew, so I'll be able to spend more time writing than crocheting again.

Story Summary: Tim and Danny are both neglected by parents who care more about their work than their families. They deal with this by spending too much time online and find each other playing MMORPGs. They keep up their friendship as Tim becomes Robin and Danny becomes Phantom and don't bother keeping secrets from each other.

First, Previous

Word Count: 1.4k

-----

An hour later, all eight of them were ensconced in the theater in Sam’s basement with a few pizzas and salads spread around them. Wulf again refused any and the rest dug in.

“All right, Tuck, we need to figure out what Walker’s up to. Can you ask Wulf?”

Tim watched as Tucker asked and Wulf responded. Then Tucker burst out laughing and slapped his knee.

Tim’s eyes narrowed. He wouldn’t.

Sam scoffed. “You have no idea what he said, do you?”

“Not a clue,” Tucker admitted.

Tim groaned.

Bart cocked his head. “Give me five minutes, I’ll be right back!”

Before Danny could even finish asking, “Where are you going?” Bart was gone.

Conner grabbed another slice of pizza and said, “He’s off to learn Esperanto. Hang tight and he’ll be right back.”

“How can he learn a language so fast?” asked Sam.

Tim swallowed. “He’s a speedster. His normal is faster than our brains can comprehend. He slows himself down so he can interact with us mere mortals. He’ll be back.”

Sure enough, in less than ten minutes, Bart was back among them. He repeated Tucker’s question. This time, when Wulf responded, the ghost was understood.

“So, Walker is pissed at Danny,” translated Bart. “And he totally wants to ruin your entire life and drag you back to his prison in the ghost zone. Apparently he and his guards are overshadowing a bunch of the people you’re close to in the town to trap you in their web of lies.”

Danny groaned and buried his face in his hands. “How do I fight against that? I can’t just soup them all! I don’t even know who all is overshadowed!”

Cassie butt in then. “We know some of them. Dash and your classmates are definitely overshadowed.”

“Your reputation improved thanks to the other night,” commented Conner. “That might help mitigate Walker’s plans.”

“Doubt it,” said Danny. “Most people think I’m a menace. One night of good publicity won’t turn them around. Especially not with my parents there to dirty my name.”

“Let’s prepare a press release,” suggested Tim. “I bet the Young Justice team could get themselves on the local news. And if we speak up for you, it might help.”

Danny exchanged looks with his two friends. Tucker shrugged, “Couldn’t hurt, dude.”

“Fine,” bit out Danny. “What else?”

Conner looked at Wulf curiously. “Bart, does Wulf know how we can get his collar off?”

“Oooh, good question.” Bart asked, but Wulf shook his head as he answered.

“Will he let me look at it?” asked Tucker.

“I might be able to help, too,” added Tim as he stepped closer and reached out to touch.

Before he could actually touch the collar, though, Wulf snarled at him and jumped back several feet. Tim held up his hands in apology and took a step back himself. “Sorry!”

Bart grinned at him. “He said don’t touch it.”

Tim grimaced and nodded. “Think I got that.”

Tucker was already typing away on one of his devices. “I’m gonna try something. Might help.”

And that’s when Wulf screamed out in pain and fell to the floor clawing at the collar.

“Shit!” shouted Tucker as he rushed forward. He managed to plug his device into a port on the collar. Electricity arced back along the connection, causing Tucker to yelp in pain and drop his PDA.

But a moment later, there was a beep and the collar fell to pieces.

Wulf looked down in shock, then up at all of them. “Mi libras?”

“You’re free, dude,” said Tucker.

Bart added something in Esperanto.

Wulf grinned at them, sharp teeth shining in the light. “Mi libras!” Then he turned and disappeared as he jumped through the wall.

Conner groaned and collapsed backwards. “Jerk couldn’t even stick around long enough to help us after everything we did for him.”

Tim sighed and sat down as well. “Well, we’ll figure it out ourselves. Just like we always do. So, operation Fix Danny’s Reputation. We’ll start with talking to the press. What else?”

“Can we write up op-eds describing what really happened in some of his ghost fights?” asked Cassie. “Set the record straight?”

“What if we make you easier to reach?” added Tim. “Get a number the police or the mayor can reach you at so you can show them you’re willing to work with them instead of just on your own?”

“Do you think that’ll work?” asked Danny.

Tim shrugged. “Worked for Batman. Don’t see why it wouldn’t help you.”

Danny sighed and rubbed a hand down his face. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

“Great,” said Tim. “I’ll send out some emails asking for interviews. And then we can start working on the op-eds. How about we split into three groups, Danny and me in one, the rest of you can split up how we like. Then we can go over the major ghost fights that have happened and write tell-all articles that don’t run the risk of spoiling Danny’s identity.”

Conner shrugged. “Sam, wanna work with me?”

Sam grinned. “You betcha.”

Bart disappeared and reappeared next to Tucker. “Tucker and I will work together, too!”

Cassie moved until she was next to Conner. “I call working with Sam and Kon.”

“Great. Now, Tuck, do you happen to know the best contact info for local reporters?” Tim pulled out his laptop and powered it on as he spoke.

“Give me five minutes and I’ll get it for you.”

Fifteen minutes later, Tim had sent out a dozen emails asking for interviews. As he and Tucker were working, Danny and Sam had gone through which ghost fights would be the best to write about and divided up the attacks between the three groups.

Once he was ready to start on the articles, Tim sat down next to Danny. “So, what are we starting with?”

Danny grinned. “We’re going to go over my first fight. The one with Lunch Lady. She wasn’t bad, but caused a lot of clean up for the school and wasted a lot of resources. Most people still don’t even know that was a ghost attack.”

“Great, let’s get started.”

Tim had heard about most of Danny’s fights before, but being next to him in person definitely made a difference. They were sitting with their arms pressed against each other so they could both see the computer screen and add or delete bits as they went. It was nice.

They’d been working for a few hours when Sam’s parents came down.

“Children!” called her mom.

Tim wasn’t the only one to hide a grimace at the term.

Jeremy Manson continued, “The mayor has instituted a curfew for the city due to all the ghosts. No one is allowed out on the streets after nine PM.”

Pamela Manson giggled. “And it’s nine PM now! So looks like you’ll all be staying here. Tim, dear, be sure to tell your father how seriously we took your safety. I don’t want any of you leaving the house until morning.”

Tim turned on his gala smile. “My dad is in a coma, I’m afraid. But I’ll be sure to tell Bruce just how considerate all the people of Amity have been.”

Jeremy let out a forced laugh. “Of course, our mistake. We wish our best to your father, as well. I hope his prognosis is good?”

Tim blinked at him. “He’s been in a coma for months.”

Pamela giggled again. “Of course, we knew that. Right, dear?” She smacked her husband lightly on the arm.

“Sure did!” he agreed. “Well, I hope to hear news of his miraculous recovery. I’m sure he is getting the best of care.”

“Of course he is,” agreed Tim. “I wouldn’t put up with anything less.”

A few more giggles and well wishes, then Pamela and Jeremy made a hasty retreat.

Once they were alone, Conner looked at him with concern. “Tim—”

“I’m fine, Conner.”

Before anyone else could try and say anything, his email beeped. Tim took the excuse and read it over. The most popular morning radio talk show wanted to have the Young Justice on. Tim grinned.

“We’re getting up early, guys. Radio interview at six AM.”

Cassie laughed. “I can do that, can you?”

Tim shrugged. “I just won’t go to sleep. Easier to stay up that late than drag myself out of bed that early.”

Conner shook his head. “You and your family are insane, Rob.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s get back to work.”

-----

Next

This is where I definitely go off the rails of what happened in the show. But that's half the fun of an AU! Hope you like it.

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Scroll down to the next post on my blog to see the really cool birthday comic @stealingyourbones made for me!

[psink]

Translation of the interview with Kamiya Hiroshi (Kusuo's VA) and Nojima Kenji (Kuusuke's VA)

The TV anime "The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: The Final Chapter" will air as a year-end special program on the TV Tokyo network on (friday) December 28th from 7:35 to 8:30.

The January issue of PASH!, which is now on sale, features an interview with Kamiya Hiroshi-san, the voice actor of Saiki Kusuo, and Nojima Kenji-san, the voice actor of Kuusuke Saiki. We’re releasing a preview ahead of tomorrow’s broadcast. 

Amidst the busy end-of-year, good grief, a world-involving sibling fight…? We spoke to Nojima Kenji-san, who plays the older brother Kuusuke, and Kamiya Hiroshi-san, who plays the younger brother Kusuo, after they had just finished recording about the truth of the matter!

―― Please tell us how you felt when the decision to make the Final Chapter was made. Kamiya: I was very happy. Even if you want to adapt every episode from the original work, it’s not always possible to do so. But with this series, everything fell into place. I think the biggest reason we were able to adapt it all the way to the Final Chapter was because of the fans’ wishes, and for that, I’m incredibly grateful.

Nojima: I had heard that the Final Chapter would be made, but I was wondering about what form it would take, and it turned out to be a two-part year-end special. Could people really sit through an hour of this work?! What kind of focus would they need to watch it? I was a bit worried about that (laughs). But I’m sure that “The Disastrous Life of Saiki K” will deliver dense content that makes you lose track of time again, in the way only it can. 

―― Compared to other anime series, “Saiki” has about 2 or 3 times more dialogue per episode, right?

Kamiya: I had vaguely noticed that, but… Nojima: You didn’t want to know, did you? (laughs)

Kamiya: Certainly, for a 30-minute anime, it takes a lot of time to go over the script. Even when watching the DVD to check it, I thought “Hm? Is something wrong with the machine?”, because it felt like it was playing fast-forward (laughs).

Nojima:  I’ll be honest now, but on the day I first participated in the recording, I actually went into the recording without finishing all the checks.I checked the script at home and then immediately went to the studio. I was calculating in my mind the timing to start reading the script to record whilst still keeping my role preparation fresh. 

But, the amount of lines was beyond my imagination, so I couldn't finish the preparation… This was something that shouldn’t have happened, but honestly, I got through the latter half [of the recording] just with concentration (laughs). But, since I was able to maintain the momentum from the first half, I’m glad I was able to bring out a good sense of raw feelings. Kamiya-san, how was your first recording?

Kamiya: I already can’t remember, but when I re-watch Episode 1 now, I think the pace is still slow. It’s gotten gradually faster since entering season 2. In season 2, Director Sakurai was probably broken as the pacemaker (laughs). Nojima: Ahaha, I see. It's like a live band where the rhythm gradually speeds up, and you keep going without knowing the original pace.

Kamiya: Exactly. 

Nojima: Since you can’t keep up by just listening to the lines as words, you have to listen to the partner’s tone and match it. It might be similar to a music session.

―― In the Final Chapter, the relationship between Kusuo and Kuusuke seems to be a highlight. What do you both think about these brothers?

Nojima: The reason they can fight so much, do terrible things, and act recklessly is probably because, ultimately, they’re brothers. In a different case, it would have ended in a complete fallout, wouldn’t it?

Kamiya: That’s true. After all, what Kuusuke is doing is almost criminal. Nojima: Ahahahaha.

Kamiya: What I found especially dangerous about what Kuusuke did was the story of making the elderly villagers wear powered suits. The way he disguised it as caregiving while completely using them as his own puppets was seriously dangerous. Nojima: It’s surely his own sense of justice. I wonder if it’s an antithesis to how we should handle the aging society going forward (laughs).

―― Kuusuke’s obsession with Kusuo is also quite dangerous, isn’t it?

Nojima: Kuusuke has a very strong desire for approval, wanting to be recognized by Kusuo above all else. Challenging him to fights is, I think, a distorted expression of that. But I believe it is also an expression of his love and his desire to be loved back.

Kamiya: Kusuo probably thinks Kuusuke is a troublesome person, but Kusuo is also at fault. Although Kuusuke is a genius, he worked hard to create the control device for Kusuo to help him control his superpowers, didn’t he? Kusuo should be grateful, but he doesn’t express it. “Thanks, big brother. I can’t live without this” - it would’ve been nice if he could’ve said that, but Kusuo doesn’t understand the feelings of those without [superpowers], so that didn’t happen. There was also the sense of taking it for granted because they're family, but thinking how this resulted in that difficult brotherly relationship is quite sad.

―― That’s deep.

Kamiya: Although Kusuke knows he’ll lose, he keeps challenging Kusuo to fights and enjoys the process, which shows his malicious side. He’s also quite twisted. So they’re both equally to blame. From an outsider’s perspective, their relationship can be summed up with one phrase "they’re just just not honest with each other”.

Nojima: Despite that, there are also times when they rely on each other.

Kamiya: It’s complicated. That’s why even in the Final Chapter their relationship will likely be depicted. 

―― Finally, could you give a message to the readers who are waiting for the broadcast? Nojima: I was worried about how much Kuusuke would appear, but he ended up having a lot more screentime than I had expected, so I was satisfied. I have no doubts that the viewers will enjoy it as well!  Since the story’s pace is fast, please acquire the ability to not blink while watching (laughs), and surely, you will be moved to tears in the end. There are emotional parts, but more than anything, I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for cherishing and enjoying this series for so long!

Kamiya: The TV anime is finally reaching its conclusion. For those who are watching for the first time, it might be difficult, as the story keeps quickly progressing whilst you’re wondering “what is this?”. But there is a scene at the beginning that reviews past episodes and introduces the characters, so I think you’ll understand what this series is about. That said, since it’s a gag anime, I hope you can enjoy it without thinking too much.

As for the highlights for the Final Chapter, Kusuo finally moves [his mouth] and speaks for the first time. You might be wondering “What is this person saying?”, but it’s exactly as it sounds (laughs). Please watch the main story to uncover the truth behind it. I’m sure you’ll be surprised.

[igglemouse]

Simón had spent most of his time in Oasis Springs agonizing over Frida, after all, he was only here for her and although his mental had improved now that he was more away from the world of his past there was still the issue of her and what an issue it was.

He wanted to go to her, profess his love of her, make her understand that in the end, he couldn't be without her and show her that despite it all she, more than anyone else, had made him vulnerable.

But part of him knew it would be best to let her go. To stay away from her. After all, his life was misery and ill fortune, tying himself to her was sure to bring her down and after seeing how well she was doing for herself perhaps the only step forward was one without her.

So, Tuesday morning he talked with her father and asked what he should do. It was no surprise that the old man wanted him nowhere near his daughter. "You know how this ends for you, Simón, it ends tragically," her dad said. "And both of us have bought enough of that into her life."

Simón begrudgingly agreed but where did that leave him?

I think I've pretty much settled into Pascal's place I mean here I am once again making him breakfast but it really isn't official official, you know? I believe both of us wonder if this is all going too fast but who decides that really? Maybe, it's going at just the right pace?

Either way, I'm here cooking Oatmeal buttermilk pancakes, hoping this fits into his very strict diet.

I don't get too far into the preparation before he joins in and offers encouragement.

"You must be the perfect woman," he tells me and I can't help but to wink and smile his way. There's always a risk with him that it can turn into more. Eh, not a risk, a hope...but he does say he has a game today and so he needs to be very very focused for that.

That leaves me with plenty to do and before I could make a plan on what to do with my free time it is Irene who calls me and asks to come over. I met her at the food stand a day or so ago if you recall and I'm more than happy to get to know her better. I feel like out of all the people I've met I have the most in common with her and so I hope this is the start to a beautiful friendship.

Before she comes over I have time to make some ice cream and also mix some lemonade. Summer is coming up hard and fast here in Oasis Springs and you'd have to be stupid to find yourself outside without a cool drink or a handful of ice cream or something!

She strolls right up to the house after she hears me outside humming and making lemonade. I invite her to sit, thankful for the shade, and she's eager to jump right into a conversation about our shared hobby. Being chefs!

"I work at the Selva place, you know the one?"

I nod my head, once again thinking of Simón and the date we shared there and ummm, what happened after. Best not to think about that. "The food was really good! I plan on going back some day-"

"The boss is an ass but a loveable one," she says, joking. "Won't even hire anyone unless they have 'heritage' or whatever, which is silly but-"

"Oh? Is he hiring?" I say, pushing right past the red flag she had put before me and focusing on the opportunity. "Maybe he might be easier to deal with if you have a friend there to help you out?"

"Well, yes? Maybe? I think he might be. I could ask him for you but...like I mentioned, he's a bit of an ass! Be careful with him!"

I tell her I will and to go ahead and give him a good word for me. Who knows if I'll take the offer, who knows if I'll be offered, but I always consider an opportunity.

After that she talks a bit about my stand and how she is just a little jealous of it. "It's pretty bold," she says. "You're all on your own so if anything goes wrong, you are to blame. Takes a lot of courage."

"I guess...I felt like I had nothing to lose," I say, thinking about how she was right but when I started my stand I never thought of failure because I've lived through failure and tragedy and I've come out stronger. "You know it is fun, thinking about the recipes and all that and-"

"That's my dream you know? Having my own place..."

That is definitely a noble and respectable dream, one I think I share...

Irene has to go which of course leaves me home alone or...well, that's not technically my home but you know what I mean!

I could have sat there and watched television or something but instead decided to head to the gym. If Pascal is out playing a game with the team or whatever he's doing then I need to stay fit myself and what better way than yoga?

It was the perfect time for it too since there was no one else around.

And being at the gym meant it is likely that I run into Sara who I think was coming from her own light work out herself. She was super excited to see me and asked why I wasn't at home earlier. "Came to ask if you wanted to work out but you just arrived? What have you been up to?"

"I've been at Pascal's place," I come right out with it, watching her eyes grow big with excitement and demand.

"Oh! Wow! You HAVE to tell me about it!"

She drags me to one of the seats, sits across from me, and gives me a signal to go on. Looks like I have little option here but to indulge her need to know just a little bit although there isn't much for me to tell her. So, I just focus on the general feeling I have when it comes to him.

"He's simple, in a good way I mean. Keeps to himself, works out a lot, very focused on his career."

"See, see!" She says, referencing my conversation with her and Marjorie days ago. "Is it true? Is he trying to get transferred to Real Del Sol!?"

"Huh?" I have no idea what she's talking about.

"O-oh, just a rumor, Oasis FC you know, small team, respectable, but he's bound to outgrow them at this rate," she says nonchalantly. "Off to a bigger club to hopefully win championships and stuff. I just wondered if you'd have like the inside scoop-"

"Nooo," I'm shaking my head, regretting that I really know nothing at all about his career but I do know what that might mean for me, for us. "We don't talk much about fútbol honestly, it's not something he's mentioned."

"Hmm, I hope he doesn't go. As an OFC fan it'd suck to lose him."

"Yeah..." well, as his girlfriend it would suck too. I hope he doesn't go either but maybe it's just a rumor with nothing behind it? I'm just now getting to know him and if he were to go to another city would he ask me to come with?

Either way, right now I'll think nothing of it and enjoy the rest of my time at the gym.

Tomorrow is Summer Solstice and hopefully that means a pretty fun and eventful day. Let's hope at least!

Episode List - Next

[cliqueinmyear]

formidable is not a happy song.

to be clear, i haven’t done any research into what tyler himself has said, so idk if there’s any truth to this. still, i feel like my interpretation of the song is different to a lot of what i’ve seen (it being a love song to either jenna, josh or the fans).

ok this is gonna be a long one

let’s start with the definition of formidable. inspiring fear, respect or dread through being impressively large, powerful, intense or capable.

with this in mind, let’s look at the lyrics through the perspective of someone who has previously been in abusive relationships, and has now met a new person they find comfort in.

you are formidable to me

‘cause you seem to know it, where you wanna go

yeah, yeah, yeah, i’ll follow you

the narrator, eager for connection, has found someone strong-willed who seems to be able to give them the certainty they need in life. it excites them, entices them– hell, it scares them a little, but not enough to be concerned about.

but you should know, i might be cynical towards you

but i just can’t believe that i’m for you

they’re distancing themselves from this person to an extent, because part of them knows this is too good to be true.

yeah, yeah, yeah, i can die with you

just let me know

red flag no. 1. being in a position where you would gladly die if a person told you to is definitely not a good thing.

and i know that we just met

but could you take me everywhere you’ve ever been?

i wanna see it all, no surprises

they want to be able to trust this person. they’ve been hurt before, and don’t want the “surprise” of being hurt again.

fast-forward thirteen years now

don’t know what it was, but somehow we played it out in reverse

i’m afraid of you now more than i was at first

it turns out this person was not as much of a comfort as they had hoped. time goes on, our narrator gets hurt, and they realise they��ve fallen into the cycle again. they’re no longer impressed, just scared.

and i know you just left

but can i take you everywhere we’ve ever been?

i wanna see it all, no surprises

the relationship has ended and they’re blaming themself. they’re looking back on the past thirteen years, hoping to get back that security they felt at the beginning.

but you should know, i might be cynical towards you

i’m just worried my loyalty will bore you

again, distancing themself, because they worry it’s their unrelenting loyalty (or even clinginess) that makes people turn on them.

in conclusion: formidable is a song about being in a cycle of abusive relationships. you think you’ve found a safe person, so you follow them blindly just to get hurt again.

[classicschronicles]

Hi lovelies,

I feel like I’ve just returned from ‘buying the milk’. I’m sorry I disappeared for *checks notes* 11 months, but it’s been a hectic year. I feel like if I get into it I’ll sound like an AO3 author, so here are some very quick highlights- I have just finished my first year studying Classics at university, I qualified as a fitness instructor (which is a side quest nobody asked for), I’ve become a theatre kid again, and I finally watched Game of Thrones. Studying Classics at uni is basically telling everyone that you study Classics at uni and then getting one of two reactions- “What is that? What kind of job are you going to et with that?”. To which I have no response, because honestly I’m not sure. Or the ever famous- “Oh like The Secret History?”. To which I cry inside because it is nothing like The Secret History. It is actually reading so much Thucydides that he becomes your sleep paralysis demon, and having to translate so much Caesar and Cicero that your daydreams become wishing you were in the Theatre of Pompey on March 15th 44 BC… for no particular reason. And also crying at 3am whilst you try to delude yourself into thinking that this is so dark academia core (spoiler- it’s not). All that being said- this has actually been one of the best years of my life and I am so happy I get to study what I love.

Anyways, I feel like we’re missing the most important part- and that is of course Game of Thrones. Guys. I have a crush on Jaime Lannister. HEAR ME OUT! I can fix him! I promise. I just need one chance. But also, I would fight him because why did he do my girl Brienne like that. Anyone who makes her cry can fight me fr. You know what made me cry though- Shireen Baratheon. What the fuck was that. And Ser Davaos’ finding out and his whole “I loved that girl like she was my own”. BAWLED. Anyways, it might surprise you to know that her death was actually based on a very famous greek myth- the myth of Iphigenia. So that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

Iphigenia’s story finds its beginnings in another myth entirely- the myth of Agamemnon and the Deer. Quick fun fact- the movie ‘Killing of A Sacred Deer’ is actually based loosely on this. The story goes that Agamemnon, out hunting one day, killed a deer belonging to the Goddess Artemis. This angered Artemis, not least because the deer was pregnant and Agamemnon’s little hunting accident killed both the mother and the baby.

Fast forward to some time later, Agamemnon launches a thousand ships to save his sister-in-law Helen from the Trojans at the behest of his brother Menelaus, and also the whole blood oath situation. The Spartans and the Mycenaeans make camp at the island of Aulis whilst they wait for the rest of the fleet to arrive, only to find that when they are ready to set sail once more, they cannot leave the island. There is not wind to push their ships, the air hot and heavy and remarkably still. This goes on for quite some time. Eventually Agamemnon consults the priest Calchas who tells him that the Gods (Artemis) are angry with him and demand a sacrifice. More specifically, the sacrifice of a virgin. This is also where some accounts differ- some claim that it could be any female virgin, some say that it had to be Agamemnon’s eldest daughter. In all honesty, I think the latter is probably more accurate because of the level of hesitation he shows before he makes his final decision. If he could sacrifice any virgin I don’t really think he would care.

Anyways, he obviously cant just write to his wife and say “hey babe can you please ship our eldest daughter over, I want to sacrifice her xoxo”. So he instead he comes out with an altogether more devious plan, and that is to tell his wife that the Prince Achilles wishes to marry Iphigenia before they sail for Troy. Both Iphigenia and Clytemnestra are of course overjoyed that she should marry ‘the best of the Greeks’ and she comes to Aulis where the army wait for her.

This is where it starts to break my heart a bit. On the morning of Iphigenia’s wedding day, Clytemnestra dresses her daughter and prepares her. She, of course, does not know that she is preparing her child for death. Her fathers men come to her tent and escort her and her mother to the alter. However, she never gets to say her vows because as soon as she steps onto the platform, they cut her throat and spill her blood as an offering to Artemis. Her mother is of course beside herself with shock and grief, but her husband does little to comfort her, telling her only that Artemis is appeased, and with the return of the wind he is leaving for Troy.

Euripides’ Iphigenia at Aulis, differs from this account and tells the story that on the morning of her supposed wedding, Iphigenia was aware of her fathers plan to sacrifice her and accepts with stoicism and all the bravery of a child put in an impossible position. He writes the following, heartbreaking, lines:

Iphigenia- “If only I could sing like Orpheus, father! Orpheus, who could charm even the heartless rocks into following him! If I could use such a voice and have everyone charmed, have them convinced to agree with me and follow me, then I would use that voice. But I have no such skill. The only voice I have, father, my only skill, is in my tears and, here, father, I’m giving them to you! I’m giving you my tears! I’m giving you all I have! She leans before him and embraces his knees Here, father, here is the body of a suppliant! Here is the body that your wife has given birth to. I wrap its limbs around your knees and beg you: Please father, do not cut off my life short. Let me enjoy the sweet light of day and do not force me to enter the world beneath the earth. I’m your first one, father! The first one to call you father, the first one you called daughter. Me, father! I was the first to play on your knees, the first one of your children to enjoy your love and the first one to give you a child’s love. Remember, father? You used to ask me, “I wonder, my darling, will I get to see you married one day, married and settled happily in your husband’s home, your life ever blossoming, making me proud of you?” And I’d touch your chin, my father, hang from your beard, father, like I’m doing now and say, “and what about you, father, will I get to see you, father, an old man, visiting me at my house, ready for me to repay you for your hard work in raising me?” No, you don’t remember these words, father. I do but you don’t! You’ve forgotten them and so, now, you want to kill me. Please, father! Please, in the name of Pelops and of Atreus who is your father, I beg you! Please don’t do it! And I beg you also for my mother’s sake, the woman who laboured to bring me to life, the woman who is being tortured even now. I beg you, father! What does my life have to do with the marriage of Paris and Helen father? Why has their marriage brought about my death, father? Agamemnon turns away. She continues despondently. Come, then, father, turn to me and give me a final kiss. A kiss to remember you by in the underworld, since my words have not convinced you. Agamemnon does not move. She goes over to her mother and takes baby Orestes in her arms. She swings him, sadly, gently back and forth and leans over him as she speaks to him What a weak little helper you are, my tiny brother! Won’t you cry with me, Orestes? Come on, won’t you beg your father not to kill your big sister? Come on, Orestes, even babies know when there’s trouble around! Ha! See, father? Orestes is begging you, too! Begging you by his silence. Do you not care about me any more? Spare my young life, father. Spare me! Here! Look here, father! Here are the two of us, one’s a baby, the other a grown up girl, a brother and a sister, both your children, begging you, by your beard, pleading with you… She turns and looks sadly around her, then up at the sun. That! Up there is my final argument. That light, this light all around us, will cut all other arguments to pieces. This light is the sweetest thing that can fill the eyes! The world beneath the earth is a world of nothing. Only fools would pray to go down there. I’d rather live a life full of misery than die a hero’s death!

If that doesn’t make you cry I don’t know what will. And then to top it off he follows it up 200 lines later this this tear jerker:

“C- What report shall I give to your sisters?

I-Do not dress them either in black garments.

C-Is there any word of love from you I should give the girls?

I-Bid them farewell; and make sure you bring up Orestes as a man!

C-You look at him for the last time- hold him tight!

I-(holding Orestes close): Darling boy, you helped you dear sister as much as you could!

…

I-Who will come to take me there before they drag me by the hair?

C-I will be at your side…

I-No, not you- that would not be right!

C-…holding on to your clothes!

I-Mother, oblige me in this: stay here! This is the nobler course for me and for you. Let one of my father’s attendants here escort to Artemis’ meadow where I shall be sacrificed.

(Iphigenia begins to move away from a crying Clytemnestra)

C-O my child, are you going?

I-Yes, and never shall I come back.

C-You will leave your mother?

I-Yes, as you see, we do not deserve this.

C-Wait- don’t abandon me!

I-I forbid you to shed tears. (C sinks to the ground)”.

In every version you read, however, sacrificing his daughter is not a choice that Agamemnon takes lightly. He is torn between sacrificing his daughter and angering his wife- but winning glory for the Greeks, or saving his daughter, but abandoning his men. As a father, he made the wrong choice, but as a king some would argue that he did what was expected of him.

I do like, however, in Euripides’ version the character of Achilles. He is adamant that he will not be privy to the murder of Iphigenia. He tries so very hard to save her and to offer comfort to Clytemnestra and genuinely I think that this might be one of the loveliest most favourable depictions of him.

This myth then gives way to part of the Oresteia trilogy and many many retellings of her Iphigenia’s story- every single one of which always make me want to cry. I can’t explain what it is- I know that the whole point of tragedy is that build up and release of emotion but no tragedy has every made me actually sad other than Iphigenia at Aulis.

Anyways, you can imagine my absolute horror when I watched S5 EP9 and saw Shireen tied to the alter, literally gave myself whiplash with how quickly I tried to look away from the screen.

I would say I hope you enjoyed reading about Iphigenia, but if you did you’re an absolute psycho! The two translations I used are from PoetryInTranlsation and Penguin’s 2005 edition “The Bacchae and Other Plays”. Hopefully, now that I’ve posted again I’ll try and be more regular with it and I hope you all have a lovely lovely week <33

~Z

[4ngeldusstt]

F A R E W E L L

A/N: this might be bad im so sorry in advance but it was helpful to get that motivation to write something again!!!

Word count: 931

Warnings: angst (none)

It’s been so long, way too long since you last saw him, a mass murderer to them but just Itachi for you. Despite the awful words put on his name and rumors you heard in the village you still couldn’t see him as anything but a gentle and caring man, it was difficult for you to fathom, his hands, the ones that once had such a soft feel against your skin, the same ones that held you with so much love that you could even sense his fear of breaking you if he wasn’t careful enough. It was hard for you to believe those hands, were stained.

You still remembered him, daily. Your mind often wondering if he was taking care of himself, if he was eating well, if he was still alive, you would be lying if you said those thoughts hadn’t kept you awake more times that they should’ve, but you couldn’t help it. They can’t blame you for having this thoughts, right? you knew an Itachi they didn’t, you knew him better than anyone. He was your first love, your first everything. Yes, he broke your heart by leaving so suddenly, but a piece of you also left with him that night, a piece that you hoped he still carried with him everywhere he went.

[Fast forward]

You are part of the ANBU and were assigned a mission that was apparently easy, you were ambushed and were now fighting against a member of Akatsuki, as you were fighting you sensed a presence hiding somewhere, making you feel kind of uneasy but somehow you where not threatened by it.

Your peripheral vision percieved a shadow moving from one tree to another your reflex was to throw a kunai at it’s direction landing on the tree trunk right by their face. “Still the best shinobi in Konoha I see.” The sudden so familiar voice making you freeze in place allowing your opponent to attempt to attack you, but the attack never got to you, ‘how is it possible? I didn’t even move’ you thought, a shadow was towering before you, their body stopping the ninjutsu technique that was supposed to be aimed at you. “What are you doing Itachi? Let me finish her.” It hit you like a wave out of the sudden you realized, the presence you felt, the familiar voice, the man towering you, it was.. him. “You touch her, I’ll kill you.” He was protecting you, like he always did.

“‘tachi?” Your voice coming out small, mirroring how you felt at that moment, suddenly you were back at the time he walked you home that night clueless that was going to be the last time that you were going to see his face, back at when he kissed you like he always did before you got though your door, a kiss that lasted a few more seconds than usual, you didn’t know why at the time but later on you knew. He was saying goodbye.

His shoulders tensing at the nickname you always called him, at your voice, the voice he hasn’t had the pleasure to hear in over two years now, the voice that he tried so hard not to forget. “Why did you leave me?” You bravely asked him, you had thought before what would you say to him if you had the chance to see him again, wondering if you would be angry, happy, upset. But deep down what you wanted to know was this, why he left you.

“I’m sorry, I had to.” He couldn’t dare to turn around just yet, in fear of breaking down at the sight of your face. “You could’ve taken me with you, you know?” A bare whisper was all your voice allowed you in this moment. “I ruined my life I didn’t want to ruin yours. I couldn’t do that to you. It would’ve been selfish of me to take you with me, y/n. Force you to become a rogue ninja.. you had a bright future ahead, I didn’t want to take that away from you.” his voice starting to break after saying your name out loud for the first time after all these years. It pained him because he know you felt abandoned, he knew that he broke you. “You wouldn’t be forcing me if it’s my own decision. I had you on my mind every day for the past few years, I never sopped loving you, I never once felt hatred against you for leaving, please look at me, Itachi.” Your pleading eyes were now staring at the black ones you only had the chance to see in your dreams, fuck, you missed him.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, he couldn’t look away from you, his hand reaching slowly in fear that you would evaporate if he touched you, scared that his mind was playing a toll on him. Finally, he cupped the side of your face, you were very much real, engraving in his mind the sight and feeling of you subconsciously leaning against his warm touch closing your eyes at the sensation of his skin finally being against yours. “I love you, y/n. Always have and always will.” The warm feeling on your cheek was now replaced by a cold breeze, pulling you put of the trance his whispering voice had you on, your eyes slowly opened in hopes that he was still there but you were met with the spot he was standing on seconds ago being empty. Not his eyes, not him. He left, once again. You can’t blame him, can you?

“‘Til we meet again, ‘tachi.”

[1indigoisles]

Chapter 1 - All Excerpts

Who in their right mind would choose to ‘live’ in a graveyard of a town in Rhode Island over one of the sunniest places in the world, Flagstaff, Arizona?

Well, I did.

Lila must think I’m crazy. She definitely did.

My mother (that’s Lila) had always been a traveller, a hare-brained traveller who had once left half of her possessions in the States on an immigration to India for the winter. What happened to that half, you may imagine? Only the unknown force that made Lila my mother knows. Don’t get me wrong, Lila’s the best, but we were less mother and son and more the adventurous traveller and her wary follower.

Why would I choose to travel then, since another option was given to me? Well, I’ll get to that.

My life story was simple. I wasn’t a miracle, but I wasn’t a mistake either. I just happened, and I happened at the wrong time. My father’s name is – or was, I don’t really know – David Garamond and that was pretty much all I knew about him. Lila was efficient in cleaning up mistakes from her past. But she wasn’t the secretive type either; she didn’t mind talking about her past, and would tell me stories about her time with David. She would talk like they were fairy tales, which many real-life love stories are before they burn out into ashes of leftover feelings where the fire of love and hope used to be.

Lila Teigen and David Garamond were high school sweethearts, and were still going on strong well into college. They were a stable couple, which was saying something, considering how young they were. Young love tended to go wrong. But nothing went wrong for them, at least not then.

After completing college, David asked for her hand in marriage, even though he never got the blessing. Both Lila’s and David’s families were against it, and they promised to turn their backs on the pair if they did get married. But that didn’t matter; they were deeply in love, intent on forever happiness, and expecting a child, which was why David had proposed in the first place. Nothing had gone wrong around this part either. David was the guy fantasy talked about, the hero of the story. Lila had really thought that that would be her happily ever after.

But real life doesn’t have a happily ever after. It never did.

And we have now arrived at the part where things went wrong.

David was nowhere to be found on the day before the marriage. He’d gone out on a stormy night, saying he had some last-minute things to take care of and just... vanished.

And that was where the story ended. Lila would tell me nothing about what happened after that, about any of her struggles with being a single mother, if she ever found David again, or even why she took up the habit of travelling around when it was obviously much easier and cheaper to settle down in one place.

No. Fast-forward 16 years as a nomad named Kenneth Teigen on this planet, and I am currently scowling at the million dollar question of where our next voyage will take us while still recovering from the shock of having to answer said question. ‘Most difficult decision of my life’ hadn’t exactly been on my birthday wish list.

And it wasn’t as though we could go just anywhere, either, which actually made things a little easier. Lila’s job as a digital marketing strategist paid well and steadily enough, but I couldn’t exactly suggest we hop on the next plane to Greenland, now could I? Not that I ever would.

No, Lila had narrowed down my choices to two places that contrasted each other so much and were so far apart that I was fairly certain Lila had just dropped the question on my head as an elaborate prank.

"Flagstaff, Arizona, or Knightville, Rhode Island?" Lila had asked me when my school year in DC was over.

"What?" I looked up from my book, The Picture of Dorian Grey.

Lila unceremoniously flopped down onto the red bean-bag chair and regarded me seriously, which would have been comical, had she not said the things she was about to say. "What would you pick," she began again, slower, "Knightville in Rhode Island, or Flagstaff in Arizona?"

I replied, surprised, "And you're asking me this because...?"

"Because this decision is officially yours," Lila said, a smile tugging on her lips as though she were giving me some good news. "You are going to decide where we stay for the next year." There was a glint in her eyes that could only be described as defiance as she pronounced her last statement.

"No," I immediately told her.

The glint died away. "Why not?" she asked, like a child asking her parent why she couldn't get candy even though she'd done her homework.

"Because I have no idea what to choose," I said bluntly.

"But I gave you only two options," she protested. "It can't be that hard!"

"Hard?" I asked incredulously. "You're asking me to choose where we're going to live for the whole of next year!"

"Between just 2 places!"

"Doesn't make it much easier, Lila!"

She looked bewildered, and a little hurt too, for which I felt a poorly disguised twinge of guilt.

Seeing me soften, perhaps, Lila went full-on puppy-dog mode, and while I had seen it coming and should've been able to resist it, I couldn't.

So, cursing the next several generations of Lila's bloodline (which wasn't smart, since I was one of them), I conceded to her wishes with a grumble.

Now, I don’t know why I chose Knightville. It wasn’t as though it was a good travel destination or a hot tourist spot; it was cold, constantly raining and foggy, and the only colors it ever saw were white, black and different shades of grey.

I just felt, I don't know, compelled to choose Knightville, like there was something the remote town whose name I had never heard of before had that much less remote Flagstaff didn't.

I wasn't fond of it.

Nevertheless, the choice was befitting. Apparently my great-aunt Charlotte (late) had once lived in an old, slightly rickety house at the edge of town. Apartments were non-existent in small communities such as this, and it wouldn’t cost Lila a penny (except for maintenance).

Plus, the house was kind of homely.

It was a one-storey dwelling, painted a pale blue, with a brown, slanted roof. The inside was all cream-yellow walls and creaky wooden floors and the smell of good old 1950s vintage.

I didn’t dislike it, so that must have meant something.

Dinner that night consisted of Chinese take-out and ice cream for desert. I hadn’t spoken much till now, sitting in mindless silence, thinking about nothing, and staring at a small, perfectly circular hole (or was it just ink?) in the wooden floor.

“This flavour of ice cream is amazing”, commented Lila. I’d been, after all, silent for an unknown period of time, and a brooding silence of any sort from my end rang alarm-bells in Lila’s mind.

The truth was, I’d had this strange feeling ever since Lila’s car careened into Knightville. I felt... out of my own body, like I was breathing something entirely other than oxygen, that I was eating foreign food, having this foreign food with another person, that I was in another world, with alien roots that ran in alien soil. Like I was someone else. It was a creepy feeling, and it made my skin crawl.

But none of this was real. It was probably my brain’s way of punishing me because I’d intentionally forced myself to survive in a place that I didn’t like when I had total opportunity to live somewhere else.

“It’s pistachio flavoured”, I said, coming back to reality, “one of the worst ice cream flavours invented in the history of bad ice cream flavours”. I scrunched my nose with distaste.

“It is not”, insisted Lila, “you just don’t like it ‘cause it’s weird. I happen to like weird. Quite a few people do. Weird is good. Weird is different.”

But I would not indulge myself in the weirder aspects of life. While Lila was fawning over her God-awful ice cream, I was silently enjoying classic chocolate.

***********

School was due in a week, a week which was spent placing our furniture in the house, a difficult thing for a family of two to accomplish. Still, this was not our first rodeo – we’d done this exactly 14 times now – but regardless, we never got any better at arranging furniture in an apartment, let alone a house. Or faster.

“Well, the bed’s done”, Lila huffed, a hanky tied to her head, rivulets of sweat rolling down the sides of her face.

“Yeah, your bed,” I said, wiping my forehead, mentally accepting my fate. “I’ll have to sleep on the couch, won’t I?”

“For now,” she said sheepishly, off my glare.

I got up from my seat at the floor and declared, “I am officially done with today. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta get out of this house and pray to all the heavens above that it is raining.”

So saying, I saluted in her direction and stalked resolutely down the stairs.

Fortunately, my prayers (which were not yet made) were answered. I stepped out the front doorstep to find rain falling in gentle sheets, letting it progressively wet my clothes as the cool droplets shifted through my hot, sweaty hair. I combed the strands back with my fingers and faced the clouds above, feeling the cold water sting my face like surprises.

I was not, in general a fan of the rain, but I'll admit, it could be beneficial at times.

It was then I noticed a house, a small way across the road, and a girl walking out of it, a black umbrella plopped on her shoulder.

From what I could tell, she had long, straight black hair and wore dark clothing that spanned her entire body. She was walking briskly, like she was on a clock, and kept looking around, her eyes darting everywhere at once before stopping, and lingering on me.

I froze, and felt my heart stop beating for a second. I didn't think about how beautiful she looked, not at that moment at least. I didn't think about how strange it was that she herself froze and stopped to stare at me. I didn't think about how she then abruptly turned around and practically ran down the street, away from her house and my line of sight.

I could only think about her eyes, which were not one, but two colors, for two irises. One was the black of tar and midnight and the other was the blue of clear skies and forget-me-nots. There was no other way to put it; her eyes were beautiful.

Heterochromia was not an unknown concept to me, and for all its uniqueness, it could also look rather plain on some people. But something about the girl's eyes struck me in the strangest way. And it was that strangeness that froze me; I wasn't easily bedazzled.

It felt wrong and right both at the same time, like a sharp needle poking at your skin, but not hard enough for it to bleed.

Her eyes may have been beautiful, but they were hard, reflective, blank, and cold and sharp as shards of ice, like her soul was hidden in walls and walls of titanium, that the blue and black of her eyes were the only walls we saw.

Eyes that I would lay awake at night thinking about.

***********

The few mornings after that were as grey and lifeless as the last one. I wondered as I woke, not for the first time, how the people here could wake up to this almost every morning and still have the energy to start their day and do whatever a regular life demands of them. For even after a good night’s sleep I felt tired, the kind of tired that I wasn’t sure would be easily remedied by a cup of coffee. Maybe half a dozen could work.

I shook my head. I was being pathetic.

I forced myself out of bed and got ready for school.

In the bathroom, I stared at myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. Fair skin was part of my genetics, and so was my gangly height of six feet, which did no favours to my breadth. My facial features were too-sharp and my body was lean (the gym and I have a difficult relationship). My hair was an ordinary brown with a coppery tint to it that refused to stay neat, and my eyes, deep-set, were leaf-green.

There was nothing much remarkable about me. I sighed and spit the minty toothpaste out.

Lila, on the other hand, was pretty. She had hair redder than mine, a Madonna-like face with high, sloping cheekbones, and green eyes that were always lively.

When I was done criticizing myself in the bathroom, I took a shower and wore an ordinary faded red sweatshirt and loose jeans.

I went downstairs.

Lila was, naturally, awake, and bustling about the kitchen, performing multiple tasks at once, as was her way, such as juggling her steaming hot cup of coffee in one hand, while trying to explain to her new-found friend, Catherine, who seemed to keep surprisingly military hours, all the reasons why she could go down to the book-store with her after she came back home at eight ‘o’ clock in the evening over the phone, that was, by the way, sandwiched between her ear and her corresponding shoulder. At the same time, she was trying to pack our food (she’d always insisted on home-made for first days at school). It might all end in disaster. No, it probably would end in disaster. It’s Lila we’re talking about, after all.

“Lila, don’t keep your coffee cup so close to the edge of the counter!” I grumbled as she accidentally pushed it off in order to turn to me as I came down the stairs.

The cup made crash-landing, but it was plastic, so it didn’t break. Burning-hot black coffee infiltrated the floor of the kitchen and splashed against the previously pristine white cupboards, curved layers of coffee-brown partially covering them. On the ground, the liquid pooled like water.

Lila, on the other hand, had jumped back five miles, dropped her phone onto a fuzzy carpet, and was looking at me reproachfully.

With a mental curse I said, “oh, god.” And, shaking my head, I came the rest of the way down the stairs, walked past Lila, and opened a cabinet with cleaning towels in it.

I picked a white one with bright red stripes, and handed it to Lila, who gratefully took it.

I picked one out for myself, an orange one with black boats patterned on, and sighed, “come on, Lila.” And after selecting other cleaning weapons of our choice, we dived into the mess.

So obviously, it was with easy conversation and synchronised working that we went our separate ways.

Lila would lock herself up in her office with her laptop and an assortment of files, documents and fidget-toys, whereas I would shimmy on my bike and make my way to Knightville High School.

***********

At the gates of Knightville High School, I stopped.

I looked at my bike, which was parked (squeezed) between two cars, then I gazed back at my new school once more.

The building was greyer and duller than any other building I’d ever seen. It wasn’t too tall, four storeys high, maybe, with Knightville High written in huge red letters at the entrance.

I gulped. Who was I kidding? I was nervous as hell, which was totally idiotic; I’d done this a million times now.

Maybe it was just the fear of being in the spotlight, the downright spooky atmosphere of Knightville, or I was probably just way in over my head, and I suddenly had the totally irrational desire to get on my bike and ride back to DC.

Or, I told myself sternly, I’m overthinking the entire thing, and I should stop dawdling at the front of the school gates and just get it over with already.

So, thinking this, I took a deep breath, and went in.

***********

I’d hoped for a few minutes, at the very least, of peace.

Instead, I was immediately ambushed at the entrance of the main hall of my new school by a girl just a few inches shorter than me, with a bright expression that I would soon come to know was her being cheerful.

At first I’d thought her hair was on fire, and she had galloped to me expecting a waterfall to sprout out of my backpack. A fraction of a second later, though, I realised that that was just the color of the girl’s hair, burning orange, not red, orange, like fire.

Her hair was bright orange. She had hazel eyes with flecks of green and gold in them, sweet pink lips that looked naturally dyed, and freckles that covered the apex of her nose and cheekbones like dust. She wore a white tank top that should be illegal to wear, a brown leather jacket to cover it up, fashionably tattered and faded jeans, and a bright smile that could give the sun and the stars a run for their money.

“Hi,” she said, in a naturally crisp and friendly voice, “I’m Jolene Frost, head of Knightville High’s welcoming committee. Welcome to Knightville High!”

I jumped. “Hello,” I managed to stammer, “I’m Kenneth Teigen.”

Jolene’s eyes flickered almost imperceptibly at ‘Teigen.’

“What?” I asked.

“What ‘what’?” Jolene looked a little bemused.

“Never mind,” I muttered.

She regarded me for a long moment, not like I was acting strangely, but more as though she’d just discovered something about me that told her there was more to discover.

Then she peered over my shoulder as though she’d just spotted someone, and called, “Rowan, Rowan!” I turned around, but I couldn’t be sure who she was calling. A beat passed. No one came, and no one looked at her weirdly for shouting that name, possibly because she was popular and wouldn’t have cared about it anyway. With an exasperated sigh, she flipped out her phone and dialled a number. She held up a finger that told me I should wait a minute and heard the phone ring twice before the person on the other end picked up.

Jolene did not pause to say ‘hello’ to make sure the person on the other end was there, instead immediately speaking into her phone, “Rowan Frost, if you do not emerge from whatever hidey-hole you’ve found for yourself, I will whisper your middle name to the new kid.” She said the last two words as though it would be a treacherous fate for Rowan, who I now realised was Jolene’s brother.

A reply came from the other end. Jolene retorted, “oh, I will, and I will do it seductively for good measure.” She seemed to have either not noticed my slight discomfort at that, or she was ignoring it entirely.

“Relax, I’m here,” came a child-like voice. A boy an inch or so shorter than me approached us, detaching his phone from his ear as he did.

Jolene smiled a winning smile, and leaned in to loudly whisper, “It’s Duncan, by the way.”

“You said you wouldn’t tell,” reproached Rowan while looking affronted, before abruptly grinning slyly, “Mildred.”

Jolene shrugged, clearly not the reaction Rowan had been hoping for. “I have no insecurities about my middle names. No one will ever call me Mildred, unless, of course, they have a death wish.”

“You just said you had no insecurities.”

“Mildred is a disgusting enough name to hate without being insecure about having it.”

“So is Duncan.”

“No, it’s only you who hates it because it’s old-fashioned.”

“I don’t understand why that isn’t a good enough reason on its own.”

While they went on with their incessant banter, I studied Rowan a little more closely. He had ash-blond hair that was more ash than anything really, and big grey eyes that at first seemed to be comparable to the grey of Knightville’s sky, but soon, it would look more like silver, gleaming and refracting in the light.

He had a long, thin face that had a fine sort of bone structure to it, all angles in some places, all softness in others. His body looked wiry and his shoulders were slim, similar to a girl’s. It was then I drew to the conclusion that ‘handsome’ was not a word that could be used to describe him – he looked more... pretty, yes, that’s the word. He was rather pretty.

“Shouldn’t we be showing the new kid around instead of wasting time arguing?” said Rowan a little grumpily, after Jolene had thrown a cutting remark at him.

“Perhaps,” Jolene allowed, “but maybe we could just skip the tour.” She turned to me, “don’t worry, the school layout is really simple. You’ll get it as we go along.”

The Frost siblings then took me along the halls, to my locker, through various classrooms and labs, the library, the canteen, the infirmary, other staffrooms, all while accompanying it with more banter, assurances that I could ask questions if I had any, and other interesting details, like a long crack that spread across the floor in front of the chemistry lab that had always been there. It was thin, but not so much that it wasn’t noticeable – in fact, I’d noticed it before Jolene had told me about it – and pitch black, as though it had been drawn on the ground with a marker of the darkest black, and shaped like real-life lightning, starting and ending abruptly. It was strangely unsettling to look at.

“Following so far?” Jolene asked, when I spent too long looking at the scar on the floor. “Any questions?”

I looked up, and spotted someone, walking briskly down the hallway. “Actually,” I said, nodding my head in that direction, “yes. Who is she?”

***********

It was that girl, the girl I’d seen a few days ago, with the black-and-blue eyes. My neighbour, I thought. Strange to see her here.

It wasn’t as though I was particularly surprised to have spotted her; Knightville High was the only high school in this town.

I just hadn’t expected to see her again so soon.

Even as I asked her the question, I could see Jolene’s expression change ever so slightly when she found who I was referring to, into something that was hard to coin. It was the kind of expression someone would put on to hide what they were truly feeling.

“Scarlett Raynott, I think that’s her name,” Jolene said, her voice a little away from her person. She turned to me.” Why do you want to know?”

“I saw her a couple days ago,” I said, still looking at Scarlett as she disappeared around the corner. “She lives in the house opposite to mine, at the edge of town.”

“You actually live in that rickety old house?” Jolene asked incredulously, though with the thin air of someone trying to change the subject.

“It’s not that old,” I said, frowning a little.

“It’s not the fact that it’s old,” perked up Rowan faintly, who, up until then, had been silently daydreaming, “which it isn’t, really, compared to other houses, it’s just the way it looks old. And not very pleasant. We all call it Bleak House – not a very creative name, sure, but it stuck.”

“And now people actually live in Bleak House,” Jolene mused.

“I think that’s an overstatement,” I said. “It’s not that bleak.”

“Some people died in there, didn’t they?” Rowan asked Jolene.

“What?” My head snapped up.

“Fourteen people, I think, back in ‘95,” Jolene said.

“Fourteen people?” I echoed, horrified.

“All murdered, weren’t they?” Rowan went on, unfazed.

“Police never found out who it was,” Jolene confirmed, shaking her head mournfully.

“Wow, you guys talk about murder with such ease,” I said.

Jolene grinned. “I would be more worried about living in a haunted house, really.”

“My house is not haunted,” I said, trying for a withering look but grinning instead.

“They say that there are fourteen small dots on the floor, the places where those fourteen people had stood when they were killed,” mused Rowan. “They were drawn on by the murderer.”

I shuddered minutely. “They never found him or her?”

“No, and that’s what’s really troubling.” Rowan stopped short, as though that last part was something he hadn’t meant to say.

Jolene, on the other hand, was now staring at the space where Scarlett had last been, before vanishing from view, and I felt I had to ask, “do you know her?”

Jolene’s eyes flashed in understanding. She smiled softly, like she held a secret, close enough to her that no one else could see it, hard as they tried, and answered, “nobody knows her.”

And it was precisely then that the bell rang.

***********

Nobody knows her.

Dear God, why had I said that? Not that it wasn’t true, in a sense. Saying that Scarlett Raynott didn’t trust easily was the understatement of a lifetime. Scarlett had been my best friend and loyal companion ever since we were kids, and even still, I constantly felt as though I didn’t really know all of her secrets; most of them, maybe, but not all.

I pushed that thought away. We, Rowan and I, had bigger things to think about.

Like how Lila and Kenneth Teigen had taken one look at freaking Bleak House and thought, this seems homely, why don’t we move in? Like how they now lived as close to Scarlett and endless danger as they possibly can get. Like how Kenneth had actually seen Scarlett, and recognized her.

Like how the Teigens knew that Knightville existed at all.

If I were normal, I would turn to Rowan, talk about what to do next, maybe even seek assurance that everything would not, in fact, go to hell.

But I was not normal, and you knew you weren’t normal when there was something fundamentally wrong with you and there was no term in psychology or any other science in existence that could describe it.

There had been a time when Rowan could bring me comfort and reassurance, with his simple, meaningful words and the thoughtful arch to his brow. But now, it was all I could do to smile and be playful and take up the role sisters should, to keep the pretence, to maintain what we had as siblings. No, Rowan was no longer my sanctuary, the sanctuary he had been when I was young and normal; he was someone who injured me everyday without even realising it, someone around whom I could never be myself, someone who would turn away with disgust if he knew the truth about me.

The second the bell had rung, Kenneth had taken one look at his time-table, muttered a swift “sorry,” smiled apologetically as he did, and bolted. Rowan had looked thoughtfully at Kenneth’s back then, and I could not help but do the same. Kenneth was never meant to be so... human. He was never meant to have a kind undertone to his deep, forest-green eyes, he was never meant to have such a steady set to his face, the kind that would remain the same even if flames of the tallest heights danced on the water of oceans and turned the earth and everyone on it into ash.

I was never meant to like him in the ten minutes that I knew him.

And as he went, I could not help but notice that he had disappeared around the same corner, where the classrooms began and the main hall ended, as Scarlett had, just moments ago.

I turned to Rowan with a fake smile plastered on my face. “Well, that went well.”

“Spectacularly,” Rowan said seriously, “your acting skills were truly flawless.”

I smiled winningly. I knew he was being sarcastic, but I also knew that going along with his sarcasm threw him. “Why, thank you, kind brother mine,” I said, adding a gallon of sugar to my smile and trying to ignore the sting of the word, ‘brother’.

Sure enough, Rowan narrowed his eyes, and I grinned triumphantly.

But of course, he just had to ask the million-dollar question. “What should we do about Kenneth?”

“No idea whatsoever,” I said cheerfully, as though I wasn’t losing my mind either. On a more serious note, I added, “maybe, for now, we should just keep tabs on Kenneth, what his classes are, where he comes and goes, and try and keep him away from Scarlett in general.”

“So basically stalk him,” Rowan said.

“Got any better ideas?” I asked.

Rowan’s brow suddenly cleared, and I knew what he was about to suggest. “I could always-”

“No,” I said immediately. “You could never go on for that long. It would drain you.”

And I don’t want to see you like that, I almost said, but held my tongue. It might reveal too much.

Unable to look at him any longer, I turned my gaze back to where Scarlett had disappeared, turning my attention to the issue at hand, and the reasons why the situation was this pressing.

Because everyone in this town knew the name 'Teigen.'

And we knew that name because of two people, because of the two people, because of the people who managed to get away.

***********

I was probably the only person ever to get lost in Knightville High School.

It was the middle of the school day, and I’d just spent what Jolene would surely call a productive lunch chattering away about several topics, murder included (I guess the Frost siblings like talking about this stuff). It was also when I discovered that Rowan could paint like Picasso, and Jolene wasn’t a terrible hand at volleyball either.

I look at the Frost siblings – Irish twins, I was told they were – and cannot help but think that they seemed in no way siblings at all. Very good friends, maybe, but not siblings or any blood relation at all. Siblings tend to have an invisible bond to them, something that marked them as a unit, but there was no such tether to Rowan and Jolene.

Even their overall closeness was questionable; Jolene had not caught Rowan’s eye even once throughout our conversations, the way that siblings did when they shared secret opinions. And if Rowan had noticed, then it was something that had been going on a long time, since he hadn’t seemed bemused or bewildered by it in any way.

There was also the matter of how they didn’t look alike at all.

But I could not think about that now. If I did, I was going to be late for English.

I soon realised, rather stupidly, that I’d been close to the classroom all this time. Cursing my idiocy, I made my way to the open door of the classroom as though it led to heaven.

And that was when I bumped straight into a girl.

Our shoulders collided messily, I almost tripped over my clumsy feet, and my copy of King Lear fell spine-first onto the other person’s foot, making them flinch in surprise.

“I am so sorry,” I immediately said, and bent to retrieve my book.

The girl didn’t say anything – just did the same for one of her own things, a leather-bound sketchpad with the silhouette of a crow on it as the cover design.

And it was then, kneeling on the ground and apologizing faintly, that we finally looked at each other.

Scarlett Raynott was staring right at me, her blue-black eyes fixated on mine. Her skin was deathly pale, as though it’d been first drained of all blood and then white-washed for good measure, contrasting starkly with her dark hair. Her blue eye glittered like a gemstone, but her black eye remained stubborn of light, completely dark. Her expression was totally neutral.

And something was wrong.

Something was very wrong.

But before I could name or place what that something was, Scarlett was getting back on her feet, not even sparing me a look as I did the same, and she was stalking away, her shadow clinging to her feet.

It barely registered into my mind that this was the first time we’d actually met, because something more disturbing caught my attention; two identical narrow, white slits at the apex of Scarlett’s shadow, where her head was.

I squinted.

Were those eyes?

I just thought a compilation of all the excerpts of each chapter would be easier to follow, hence this.

Taglist: @jeahreading, @mayaheronthorn, @damn-this-transgirl-hella-gay

[broadway-june]

Hey everyone! Happy 4/13!! I think I’ve been stuck working every 4/13 for about six years now XP

I wanted to take a moment to genuinely say hi to you (a fan or passerby of the blog). I usually try to stay in character but I wanted to be real for a bit.

Hi!!!! I’m June!!!! I’ve been legally June for a few months now. 5 years ago, I was a cishet guy who had his whole life figured out. Now I’m a 26 year old (bisexual?) transfem. 5 years from now? I have no idea, but I’m excited to find out.

I get sort of this, imposter syndrome when I talk about being trans. My story isn’t like a lot of other people’s: I didn’t know when I was younger. I didn’t even know when I graduated high school or flunked out of college. I didn’t know because I never hated myself, I never hated ‘being a guy’.

But I never loved it either. I never loved ‘me’. When people said ‘Mr. X’, that was never me. When people talked about ‘the guy over there’ or ‘this gentleman’, that was never me. When I looked in the mirror, the person looking back was never me. I never hated him, but I never loved him either.

Fast forward a couple years and (this is a true story that all my friends know) and my friends showed me… that’s right, the SnapCube fandub of Sonic 06. Anyway, one thing lead to another and Penny Parker was sort of my trans awakening.

After that, I waited about three months before transitioning both socially and medically. I told my family, friends, and coworkers, to which I’m extremely fortunate that it’s (mostly) positive.

It was roughly four/five months after I started transitioning that I was invited on as Broadway June. It was a time where I still looked masculine and I was scared to be out in public. Broadwaystuck was the first place I could be, well, me. ‘Hi! I’m a June, and I’m a girl!’

That was, hard for me to say back then. BWS gave me a place to be, and a place to express myself to you. It was never perfect, no, but it was a place where I didn’t have to do a song and dance to explain who I was to people.

This group is full of amazing and talented and funny people who care about each other, and it was exactly what I needed then.

And now, today! It’s been 15 months since I’ve transitioned. I’m almost exclusively called ma’am at work because of how awesome I look! And I love how I look! I’ll admit that there have been a few times I may have flirted with myself in the mirror. My name is legally changed, and I’ve still got a lot more progress to make!

These days, I’ve got all sorts of little projects and endeavors I want to focus on, that I can’t give BWS June as much attention as I could before. I wanted to leave earlier, but if I’m being honest, I didn’t want people to think it was attached to the stuff that happened earlier this year. Not talking about it of course, I just wanted everyone to know it was separate, so I waited a few months to make this.

As of today, I’m officially stepping away from the blog. A big part of me doesn’t want to, of course. Part of me wants to just, delete all this and put out another song. But… I’m, growing up. It’s hard… but I have to believe I’ll be ok, and I have to believe you’ll understand. Thank you to everyone who came here, even if it was just once or twice. It meant the world to me that I could sing to you, just for a while. And hey, who knows? Maybe one day we’ll bump into each other again!

The world is a big place after all. But with that said, that’s everything I wanted to tell you. Thank you to my listeners, thank you to BWS, and thank you to all the friends I made along the way.

This is Broadway June, officially retiring the ‘Broadway’. Good day, good afternoon, good night to all,

And just so you know, for anyone that needs it: it might not always feel like it, but it gets easier.

Goodbye <3

-June K.C

[imwall-e]

W&TWS || Love is in the air

Summary : He is a super-soldier of more than 100 year old, struggling to find a place in this new world. She is a young student of 23, struggling with life. But they know they can find comfort and help in each other.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count : 1108

Warnings : a bit of angst and anxiety, also fluff and always Bucky being soft

Author's note : This is the last chapter of the first part (New Love). I hope you like this story! Bucky and Willow will be back soon !

Series Masterlist

April 23rd, 2021

On this Friday morning, the clouds were covering the sky and heavy rain was falling. The drops visible on the window and the sounds they made while landing on the roof helped to calm Willow. She was a bit sad, knowing that James had to leave during the day to go back to New-York for a couple weeks.

During the past few days, they enjoyed every minute they spent together. Willow taught him how to play video games, and James learnt very fast allowing them to play together. He could sense that she was tense as he started a new game on The Last of Us. 

“Are you okay, Sunflower ?” he asked her, using the nickname she loved so much.

“Yeah…”, she answered without conviction. Of course, Bucky didn’t trust her.

“I’m really excited to play this game, because I know it’s one of your favourites.” This put a small smile on Willow’s face, making Bucky happy. After some hesitation, she finally shared her feelings.

“It’s just that I don’t want you to leave. I know it may sound weird, but I was really looking forward to this vacation to spend some time with you.”

“I know… me too”, he admitted. “But while I’m gone, you’re going to study and go to your exam. You’ll see your friends. I’ll be back soon and we’ll have all summer. We could go somewhere, or just stay here and sleep all day long.”

He started to know how to make her laugh. He loved this sound, it was like music to him. Also, knowing she wanted him to stay with her, warmed his heart. He could swear he felt his cheeks turned red. All he wanted to do at the moment was his Sunflower. He didn’t dare, and instead just moved closer to her. Instinctively, Willow put her head on his shoulder, relaxed by the sound of the controller’s touch, and by his voice when he asked questions, to which she happily answered.

“At what time does your plane take off?” Willow asked after two hours. It was now almost 11 am.

“At 6 pm, so we can spend the day together. Stark is giving me one of his planes so I don’t have to travel with other people.”

“But, that means you’ll arrive during the night?”

“Yes, but it’s fine with me. I wanted to enjoy this day with you.” Again, it flattered Willow so much she didn’t know how to answer. Damn, he’ll miss that.

James noticed that she was fighting not to fall asleep. He guessed that her night wasn’t great. He turned off the PS3 and they went to her bedroom where she quickly fell asleep in his arms. Scamp soon joined them to settle on Bucky’s feet.

As James was softly passing his hands in Willow’s hair, he felt like was joining Morpheus’ arms too. Dreams filled his mind… His Sunflower was in a beautiful dress and he was wearing his army suits from the 40s. She was waiting for him, and a smile grew on her face when she noticed his presence. They danced under the stars. War was over and would never take him away. It would never separate them. No one and nothing could. He stopped dancing, surprising her. The green in her eyes looked like an emerald, and he knew. Taking her face in his hands, he brought his lips to hers. “James” she said…

“James ?” Her sweet voice woke him just before the kiss.

“Hmm ?” 

“Tony called three times. I answered, I hope you don’t mind. He said it was urgent.”

“Thank you, Sunflower”, he said, kissing her on the forehead.

He went on the terrace to call back, and to Willow it seemed to last an eternity. She was cooking something for them both, and from the window she could see him pass his hand on his face like he was annoyed. It was confirmed when Bucky hung up and sighed.

He looked sad when he came back inside. “I’m sorry”, he started, “Stark wants me to go back earlier. I just have time to eat and take my stuff. Then, a driver will pick me up. Do you want to accompany me to the airport ?”

“I’d love to”, she smiled even if she wasn’t really happy. She tried to console herself by thinking it was for his big project and that they’ll see each other very soon. They could still call and exchange messages.

“What is your first exam?” Bucky asked.

“I think it’ll be the US Civilisation. I really don’t want to go.”

“I know, but it’ll occupy yourself and you’ll be with your friends. And you know what, when I come back I can help you search what you want to do as new studies next year ?” Willow was touched by his attention and encouragement. He was very supportive, as were her friends who had confirmed that there was no point in continuing down a path that would lead nowhere and, moreover, make her unhappy.

The driver, an acquaintance of Tony Stark, arrived shortly after their lunch was over. He was named Alfred, and Willow couldn’t help but think of Batman’s butler, especially with his accent and appearance. He helped them put James’ luggage in the car’s trunk, and soon it was time to leave. James said goodbye to Scamp, petting him and promising they would go running when he returned.

On the way, James explained to Willow that Tony was flying him back to New York slightly early because he could get his business up and running sooner. His stepping stone would be Stark Industries. It would be a big responsibility, but he was happy that Tony was giving him a chance. He was afraid and excited at the same time. He promised Willow to give her news as often as possible. 

Outside, the rain subsided and gave way to a few timid rays of sunshine. Soon they arrived at the airport. A private jet bearing the name of Stark Industries was waiting for Bucky. The time to say goodbye had arrived.

“I will call you as soon as I arrive”, said Bucky, taking her in his arms.

At this moment, he remembered the dream he had had earlier in the day. This time, he would not be interrupted. He took the young woman’s face in his hands, and kissed her tenderly. Willow blushed and couldn't help but smile as she kissed him back, putting her arms around his neck.

“Goodbye, my Sunflower,” he whispered.

“Goodbye, Bucky Bear,” she answered.

The separation was difficult, but they both knew that their reunion would be all the better.

✪✪✪ Series Masterlist || Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5

[adriannakyani]

New Beginnings

I haven’t used this account since 2018. I was still in high school, romanticizing my life. Under the impression that i would find love that i saw in the movies. I would have the friendships you see in Friends and be a independent college girl. Oh how i was wrong. So much has happened since i graduated in 2020. I went to basic for three months. Came out of that feeling strong and excited about what was next in my career. Finished my tech school and was awaiting my orders to my first duty station. Got the email that we received them, opened it up and saw Mountain Home AFB. The Air Force really decided to send me back home. How ironic. I joined the military to travel and thats where they sent me. Crazy. Fast forward two years and it’s the beginning of 2023. In those two years, i’ve met new friends and lost some friends who i thought would be in my life forever. I’ve also rekindled friendships from my childhood, made even more friends and met my first love. Experienced some amazing things like flying in a jet and going to the first all female air show in Portland. Being back in idaho has allowed me to be close to my family which i am grateful for every day but has also made me feel like still living the life i was living after graduation and before leaving for basic. I feel like a teenager still when i’m not. I’m about to be 21 this summer and i still feel like i have absolutely no idea what i’m doing. I have a great job and coworkers. I pay for my car and insurance. Im still in the dorms so i’m not paying rent just yet. Im attending college online and studying to test for Staff Sergeant this May but something still feels off. I don’t know what it is but i’ll figure it out. Part of me thinks that i need to figure out how to separate my military life and personal life. It also could be that i’m in my early 20′s and life is just going to be messy and confusing. 

I set some new year’s resolutions for me to accomplish this year such as:

Going to the gym consistently 

Eating healthier

Drinking more water

Going outside more

Less time on social media (Tiktok specifically)

Spending more time with my family

It’s been a little challenging for me to do some of these since i’m currently deployed but some are still achievable. I’m just excited to get back and establish a healthy productive routine again. I’ll try to post more on here and kinda use this as a “journal” in a way. Cheers to living a healthy, happy life this 2023 🍃

[websterss]

COMING BACK (2) SAD ENDING — ETHAN LANDRY  

SUMMARY: You wait for Ethan’s return, but when the closet door he stuck you in reopens, it only goes downhill from there. 

WARNING(S): angst, mentions of killing, mentions of dying, knife wound, barely there fluff, sad ending

WORD COUNT: 3,091

PAIRING: Ethan Landry x fem!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always welcomed!

MASTERLIST

PART 1 | PART 2: HAPPY ENDING

You didn’t know how long you had waited for. Perhaps a few minutes since he last left the closet. Perhaps more than half an hour. The long-awaited return of Ethan felt like hours. You succumb to the darkness surrounding you. Sliding down one of the walls and waiting. Your eyes glanced around hoping to catch a glimpse of light but the only light you received was from the bottom of the door. The only thing holding you together. The rushed boots and fast swipe of a shadow running past the door had you holding your breath. Not like they knew where you were. In Sam and Tara’s case, you assumed that didn’t work in your favor. If things were to go south which you didn’t doubt would happen, they wouldn’t know where to locate you, possibly thinking you were dead and dying. Some part of you was, knowing how the love of your life had become a stranger to you after revealing himself to you.

The minutes prior to hiding you made you wonder if he’d have really hurt you had you not told him you were pregnant. Would he have plunged the knife into your side where you were once stabbed by Amber? Would he have really ended what you found to be some of the most enjoyable three months together? You weren’t sure and yet you held onto the hope of him coming to get you, to tell you everything was over. So when a shadow neared the closet and swung open the door, your heart picked up and your smile grew, but as you locked eyes with Sam and then with Tara’s, your nightmare began.

“Oh thank god!” Sam rushed forward to cup your face, wiping away tears that fell down your face. “I’m so glad you’re okay! Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?” All you could muster was a shake of your head. Words betraying you.

“Holy shit, he wasn’t lying…” Tara gave you a once-over.

“Where–“ You swallow a knot forming in your throat. “Where is he?” Your voice cracked. “S-Sam? Where is he?”

Sam sighs, glancing back to Tara with a look you couldn’t recognize. Then looked back to you. She stood up, holding her hand out like a mother gesturing for her child to grab a hold of her. You did and allowed her to guide you out of the closet and down the hall where you and Ethan rushed down earlier.

When you came out into the clearing you noticed the mop of hair you loved to mess with. Sam let you go. You had taken cautious steps towards where he was sitting against a display case. When you rounded the case and his head turned towards you tiredly. You gasped and ran forward. Doing so in relief because he was okay. Your knees hit the ground hard. You didn’t mind the pain that started though. You didn’t mind it one bit. You let out a shaky laugh. Your hands holding his red and sweaty face gently.

“H-Hey…” He breathed out tiredly. His eyes doing their best to remain open. His smile only grew upon seeing you. “You’re okay…” He sighed, his shoulders relaxing. “I least I’ll know you’ll be….be okay now.” His breath hitched. You teared up again, your eyes furrowing in confusion at the sudden release of his slow intake of air. You give him a once over and when you finally look down where his hand holds his bleeding wound. You gasp. Upon careful inspection, he was stabbed in multiple areas too.

“You’re hurt!” Your breath grew shaky.

“I didn’t know…” You whip your head over to Sam approaching you both. She shakes her head, guilt-ridden over her face.

“What?” Your brows furrow.

“I didn’t think he was telling the truth. I thought he was lying to get us to trust him…I thought you were dead, so I stabbed him!” Sam gestured to the knife still lodged in him. “Then he helped us kill his dad and I didn’t know what to believe anymore! You hunted us down. You were about to kill Y/n, then you help us? What the fuck Ethan!”

“I’m sorry…” He frowns with a heavy sigh. “I guess I’m better…better at following than making the plans. I’m sorry.” He swallows the lump in his throat.

“Sorry ain’t good enough.” Sam frowns.

“Sam he knows…” Your head drops.

She perks up at this. “What? You told him?”

“Yeah…I did.” You look back and met his eyes.

“So he hid you…” She nods, putting together his thought process and trying to make sense of the situation. “What if she wasn’t huh?“ Ethan looks up slowly to meet her gaze. “Would you still have hidden her then?”

He looks over at you. You honestly didn’t want to know what his answer would be. Scared you’d be met with the opposite. “No…” He croaks out. “I-I’m sorry okay. I don’t know what more…you want me to say.” He trails off. His head fell into his shoulder. His eyes closed.

“Hey, no, no. Hey Ethan!” You frantically pat his face hoping he’d come to but he wasn’t responding. “H-Hey…Open your eyes!” You cry out. Lifting his head to be upright. Your teary-eyed vision was blurred. “Hey, open your eyes for me!” You sniffled as you feel for his pulse. It was still there but faint. Your head falls onto his chest sighing in relief but you still grew weary. You pulled back and wiped under your nose. You had a plan and you had to act fast on it.

“What are you doing?” Sam questions you as you start pushing up the black robe up his torso. You lifted the hem up, ripping the cloth so it wouldn’t touch the knife lodged into his side. You push it up and then work on getting his arms out of the holes. When the costume drapes over his neck you carefully hold his neck and take it off him completely. The gloves he wore were next. “Y/n, what are you doing?” Sam cuts in again but doesn’t stop you. You sniffle wiping your nose once more as you rid him of the costume.

“H-He’s not going down for this...” You stand.

“You can’t be serious!” She scoffs.

“I am, burn it!” You toss her the costume and gloves. “He can’t get the help he needs if he’s locked up.”

“Maybe that’s what he needs. To go to jail! He killed our friends!” She solemnly reminds you. You look down closing your eyes. “Anika, Chad!”

“I know! I know that! I know it, okay…please, I just need him to not be incarcerated right now okay? You don’t have to forgive him. Hell, I don’t even think I can.“ Tears fall down your face. You press your hands against your stomach. “I at least would like to not go through this alone without him.” Your blurred vision meets her conflicted expression. She doesn’t know what to do or say. “I don’t know if this makes me fucked up for not wanting him to die or go to jail. I can’t look past what he’s done to us I know that. I know that. Anika was very dear to me. I don’t know if I have the strength to forgive him, but he’s my person. I gave him every piece of myself for months, and he made everything feel like it was all for nothing in a second. A second Sam, he broke me in a second and he’s this baby's father and I hate him for what he’s done. What do I do with that, Sam?” You plea. “I don’t know what to do. What do I do?” You cup your forehead. “H-He said he wouldn’t have saved me…What the fuck do I do with that?” You point to him.

“You let him go.” Tara cuts in. You meet her somber expression.

“I don’t know if I can…”

“It’s not an easy thing to do,” Sam says. “It’s your call here though.” You meet her gaze. “But the way I see it. There’s really only two ways this can go tonight. You can save him, and let him go, or let him die.” Water brims your waterline as she says this. You look back down to the guy who put you back together and then slammed his fist down on your finished puzzle. All your pieces felt scattered now, with no way of resembling your broken heart. Had it really been two choices this whole time? One of life or one of death. One of love or one of loss. Sam made it seem so easy. Yet this was the hardest choice you’ve ever had to decide on. What was to be was up to you now. You could save him or you could let him go…

-

It was the pungent smell of hospital disinfectant that had invaded Ethan’s nostrils first. The room was silent apart from the beeping of the heart rate monitor to his left. He came to after realizing he was still alive. Further taking in the fact that you brought him here. He half expected to see his wrists cuffed to the bed handles, but when he was able to lift them up to his face that was the real shock. The shuffle of his bed sheets hadn’t caught your attention just yet. He looked around spotting you on the sofa in the room. Ethan realized that you were in deep thought, reading a favorite book you knew front and back. 

“W-What’s that…” The croak of his voice had you lifting your head to meet his gaze. “Like your fifth read?” He breathes out a laugh. His head lulling to the side against his pillow. You hold his gaze for a mere second then look back down to your lap. The enticing story of two neighbors falling in love towards the end was long forgotten now. The whole time he was unconscious, it had allowed you to escape your dooming reality. To familiarize yourself and yearn for the written words on the oatmeal-colored pages. You wanted the love that was portrayed and described in the book. Not your lover, turning out to be an infamous masked killer.

“My seventh actually…” You sigh and set the book aside. You wipe your palms against your jeans and stand up. “How are you feeling?” You walk over and flick the bag hung to the side of him.

“Like I’ve been stabbed.” Ethan laughs, but you don’t find it funny in the slightest. His smile fades when you fail to show an ounce of emotion. You remained stoic with him. “You stayed.”

“Yeah, I guess I did…” You raised your eyebrows with a shrug.

“You didn’t turn me in.” Ethan frowned.

“N-No…” Your voice shook. You found interest in picking at your nails. Just being near him broke you inside out though. He could see your walls crumbling.

“Y/n-“

“I hate you!” You blurt out. Ethan rests his head back, looking up at the ceiling.

“I don’t blame you...”

“It’s taking everything in me not to break right now.” Ethan turns his head to you. “But I’m sure you can already see that. You’ve always been good at reading me. Quite frankly, I’m trying to deal with all this in a calm manner, but I’ve been sitting on that damn sofa for almost two hours now and I just– I can’t!” You look down at him.

“Then don’t.” He shrugs. “Scream, yell, cry. Don’t bottle it up. I’m all ears.” He offers a tiny smile. You scoff.

You look away nodding. “I can’t forgive you, I think I’ll eventually learn how to again, but my trust in you is gone.” Ethan nods solemnly. His eyes close, as you continue. “I’m not letting you anywhere near this baby until you get help.” You lift your gaze to meet his. “You need some serious fucking therapy. Maybe an exorcist for all the fucked up demons you got in that head of yours. Might even cleanse you for negative energy…” You shrug nonchalantly.

“You done?” He stifles a laugh and then sighs, partially amused, partially understanding where you’re coming from.

“No. If you don’t get help, and you hurt someone again. I’m throwing you in a fucking psych ward. I mean it, Ethan. If you don’t show signs of improvement for my benefit and this baby. You’re out of my life. Honestly, I shouldn’t even be giving you a second chance after everything. I’m a little scared of you still. You told Sam you wouldn’t have saved me if I didn’t tell you I was pregnant. That alone raises enough alarms. A major red flag that I should be fleeing from. I need time, to heal. You broke me!” Your voice rasps out. “You fucking broke me…” You let your arms fall to your sides in a shrug. Your lips quiver. “I’m in no state of mind to be having a baby right now but I just-“

“Then don’t go through with it.” He sighs. You’re taken aback by his words. “Don’t put yourself through more than you can handle.”

“Is that what you want?” You curl in your bottom lip.

“I don’t know what I want.” Ethan sits up slowly.

“Why’d you save me?”

“I don’t know.” He looks away.

“I think you do.” You push. “You wouldn’t have saved me if you didn’t at least still care for me.” Ethan can’t bare to look at you. The thing about your relationship is that you could read him just as well. “Do you…do you love me, still?” You freeze. He looks back over to you. His eyes widened and his lips part slightly.

“Do you love me, still?” He asks you.

“Y-You know I do.” Your eyes begin to water again.

“Then you know I do.” Ethan holds your gaze.

“Do I?” Your voice rasps.

Ethan's eyes shine, his expression falling as you begin to shake your head.

You don’t believe him to still love you.

“Y/n-“ He begins but you cut him off.

“I can’t forgive you. I can’t let you back in until I know you’re gonna do something about this urge you have to hurt people. I-I can’t. I can’t forgive you.” You turn to collect your things. He only watches as you pick up your pace. You wanted out of there and fast.

“Y/n please just let me-“

“Why couldn’t I have been enough? Weren’t you happy? With what we had going? You didn’t have to go follow through with all this? Anika? Chad? You could have stopped? You didn’t need to hurt anyone…you didn’t– me! You didn’t need to hurt me.” You pause at the door. “I gave you every part of me and I-“

“You weren’t part of the plan!” He blurts out. He wanted nothing more than to rip off all the wires and IV attached to him. To walk up to you. To beg on his knees and wrap his arms around you. He wanted to do that…but he was in pain just from sitting up.

“What?” You turn to face him slowly.

“I never thought– You just showed up unexpectedly.” He slouches deeper into the bed. “You just showed up one day, and the whole plan my dad went over with us went over my head for a few weeks. You weren’t part of our plan! I was supposed to be Chad’s roommate and get closer to your friends. Get them to trust me! You think I had planned on falling in love with someone during the process? No! But you happened! And I grew feelings for you all because you laughed at my stupid jokes and you didn’t see me as Chad’s dorky roommate. You just saw me and for once in my life I wanted my life to not feel like a revenge plotline. You happened and I fell and I didn’t want to lose that. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“You didn’t want to lose me?”

“Y-Yeah. I still don’t.”

“And you think admitting the fact that you fell in love with me had put a pause on your plan, makes everything that’s happened, okay? Cause it doesn’t. You should have thought about that before you killed Anika and stabbed Chad over and over again. Before trying to stab me!” You scowl at him. “Chad’s okay by the way…No major arteries hit and was told he’d fully recover in a few weeks. Maybe even a month from now.”

“He didn’t die?” His heart sinks.

“No.” You mutter softly. “Doctor said it’s a miracle he’s alive. The blood loss alone would have killed him, but it didn’t.” Your shoulders start to loosen up. “He’s gonna be okay…and he’s gonna kick your ass.” You let out a tired chuckle.

“We’re not gonna get past this…are we?”

“I don’t know anymore, Ethan. Maybe, maybe not, maybe in a few years…I simply don’t know. I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

“I’m still me.” Ethan pleads. Lifting his head off the pillow into an attempted upright position. “Still the same guy you fell in love with.”

“Did we go through the same storyline? You were never that guy I fell in love with. You lied to me! You just played a part and lied to me. I was just stupid enough to let another person into my life all because I wanted to experience something normal again. Guess I was wrong, huh? The ending, it’s occurring right now, Ethan. I’m the girl who’s back to square one in need of some serious therapy sessions to help me get over this traumatic experience…and you’re the guy, who’s right back where he started at the beginning of this sad fucked movie…alone!”

“Y/n don’t do this-“ Ethan shakes his head.

“Don’t call me.” Tears brim your waterline.

“I can fix this!” Ethan groans as he starts to get himself out of the bed. You just keep backing up.

“Don’t come looking for me. We’re done. W-We’re done!” You spare him one last look and walk out of his room.

“Y/n-argh!” He grunts out as he hits the floor hard. Pain shoots up through his body. “Y-Y/n! Please! Y/n, I’m sorry, please!” He calls out to you. “Please!”

You press yourself against the wall to the right of his room. You place your hand over your mouth to muffle your cries as you hear him call out for help.

[pmkscanlations]

PMK DVD Booklet Interviews 2

Thanks to @/pmkloveadmin and their kind friend yuunsoba who provided the raws for these interviews! Here’s the second set; please enjoy! As a note, I’ll be tagging all interviews in this series as pmk dvd booklet interviews in case anyone misses one!

INTERVIEW 3: YOUNG ICHIMURA TETSUNOSUKE (Voice actor: Kobayashi Yumiko)

Please tell us your genuine reaction to the announcement of the movie project.

“Eh?! You’re doing more Peacemaker Kurogane!? Eh?! An anime?! Eh?! A movie?? Eh!? Can I come?! Eh!?!? Yay!!” I remember having a wild conversation on the phone like that when I first heard the news (laughs). As a big Ichi fan, I was really happy to see Tetsunosuke and everyone else moving on a screen again!!

Please tell us your genuine reaction to your first read-through of the script.

As expected of a movie!! Thick!! And rich with substance!! Historically speaking, the Shinsengumi will fall shortly after this, but I’m happy… I was really drawn to it even knowing what’s ahead! I’m looking forward to the next part already!

How was it, revisiting this character after so long? Please tell us your impression of the performance and anything you kept in mind while acting.

This time, the story is about Tetsunosuke who’s become an adult. The role of young Tetsunosuke was pretty small, but I was really overwhelmed to be voicing him in motion again. My hope is that the scene will be a symbol of the Shinsengumi at its brightest. I played out Tetsunosuke’s daily life hanging out with his friends with that in mind.

What scene do you think has the biggest impact, and what scene do you want people to pay attention to?

I personally enjoyed the scene where Tetsunosuke became aware of his feelings for Saya. I thought it was a good representation of all the growing up that Tetsunosuke’s done, which you don’t see a lot of in his youth. Also, I loved Susumu, the best friend who pushed Tetsunosuke forward. I really felt he was a great guy! Susumu is the greatest friend to have! (laughs)

This is a story about the Shinsengumi’s great ambitions. After this, what sort of challenges do you want to tackle?

English and jogging. For the last ten years, I’ve put up this challenge on New Year’s and say “I’ll accomplish it this time!” I think I’ve probably been saying this since the Peacemaker Kurogane anime was airing. Time flies fast, huh… Of course, I haven’t managed it yet this year…

Finally, please leave a message for the fans who watch this series.

How was the first part of the Peacemaker Kurogane movies? As a fellow Ichi fan, I also have the DVD release!! For the sake of this project, myself, the cast and many others have risen to the challenge with full vigor and passion. It would make me happy if everyone could watch over Tetsunosuke and the others until the very end. Please look forward to the next part!

INTERVIEW 4 HIJIKATA TOSHIZO (Voice actor: Nakata Jouji)

Please tell us your genuine reaction to the announcement of the movie project.

Will the war at the end of the Tokugawa Shogunate, which even Chrono-sensei has prepared for, finally begin…? It’s the kind of turbulent period that Saito Hajime aptly addressed by saying, “even if it’s just for a second, the time will come when you miss this”. Since there’s no changing historical fact, I just have to do my best to ensure that my acting truly represents those who lived their lives in full. For this first part, I’d appreciate it if you could feel the weight of the choices they all made.

Please tell us your genuine reaction to your first read-through of the script.

While mixing historical facts a bit, I think the Ichimura brothers in Peacemaker Kurogane might come to the rescue.

How was it, revisiting this character after so long? Please tell us your impression of the performance and anything you kept in mind while acting.

It made me feel like I was entrusted with the lives of many soldiers.

What scene do you think has the biggest impact, and what scene do you want people to pay attention to?

I’ll leave that to the viewers to decide. I’d love it if everyone could just enjoy the presence of each and every character who’s active on the big screen with surround sound.

This is a story about the Shinsengumi’s great ambitions. After this, what sort of challenges do you want to tackle?

I don’t have any dreams, but I’m healthy as always.

Finally, please leave a message for the fans who watch this series.

How was it? The world of Peacemaker Kurogane has started to move once more. It’s been a long time, so I hope you were all nostalgic and excited to see Tetsunosuke and his friends again. Next up is part two. Thank you for your support!

INTERVIEW 5 OKITA SOUJI (Voice actor: Saiga Mitsuki)

Please tell us your genuine reaction to the announcement of the movie project.

I was surprised to hear it was getting another anime, and even more surprised to hear it was a movie! Honestly, I was extremely happy, since I knew I’d be able to see everyone else again.

Please tell us your genuine reaction to your first read-through of the script.

I thought, “ah, it’s Tetsu-kun, it’s the commander, it’s Hijikata-san, it’s Okita-san” and so on, and I was reading through it pretty slowly at first to indulge my nostalgia. But soon enough, the story gripped me and pulled me in.

How was it, revisiting this character after so long? Please tell us your impression of the performance and anything you kept in mind while acting.

Just as Okita is Okita, I did my best to convey his thoughts and feelings to the audience and walk through the story together with him.

What scene do you think has the biggest impact, and what scene do you want people to pay attention to?

I can’t choose. There are too many great things to see, so I can’t choose. So, all of them!!

This is a story about the Shinsengumi’s great ambitions. After this, what sort of challenges do you want to tackle?

I’m in the middle of the challenge called “staying an actor for the rest of my life” (laughs).

Finally, please leave a message for the fans who watch this series.

How was it? I’m sure you were drawn into the world of Peacemaker in no time, right? There’s a sequel, too, so I hope everyone enjoys watching both.

INTERVIEW 6 ICHIMURA TATSUNOSUKE (Voice actor: Ueda Yuuji)

Please tell us your genuine reaction to the announcement of the movie project.

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the characters in motion. Technology and techniques for expressions and so on have changed since the TV anime, so I’m interested in seeing how the new creators tackle this work.

How was it, revisiting this character after so long? Please tell us your impression of the performance and anything you kept in mind while acting.

I was thinking that it’s been a long time, but it didn’t really matter. Nothing’s changed. Both Kobayashi’s Tetsunosuke and Kaji’s Tetsunosuke are Ichimura Tatsunosuke’s precious, precious little brother.

What scene do you think has the biggest impact, and what scene do you want people to pay attention to?

A turbulent record!! “The theatrical release of Peacemaker Kurogane Part 1 – Omou Michi”!! A turbulent record!! “The theatrical release of Peacemaker Kurogane Part 1 – Omou Michi”!! A turbulent record!! “The theatrical release of Peacemaker Kurogane Part 1 – Omou Michi”!! (In the stylings of a certain commercial...)

Finally, please leave a message for the fans who watch this series.

Whether you’re a long-time, loyal fan of the franchise or brand new to it, how was your stay? This is just the first part, though. Please take a look at part two if you’re interested.

[lizzywithay-notie]

January 24, 2024

Wow I can’t believe it’s been 5 years since I came on here and wrote something. Back then I thought this was my safe place… a place where I felt comfortable to say anything I wanted/needed to. Well, I was completely wrong about that. Funny thing is someone got ahold of this page and reported it to my higher ups at work... which resulted in them coming to my dorm and trying to haul me back to the psych ward. Oh, that’s not even the worst thing about it all. At that time, I was hanging out with a guy that I was very interested in dating. So, picture yourself as the guy, you’re there to hang out with a girl that you’re very interested in and boom there comes 3 people in charge trying to haul your soon to be girlfriend away to a mental health hospital. Well good news, that boy and I got married back in November of 2019. So, hey at least there’s a happy ending to that story.

Also, you might have noticed that I said the phrase “haul me back to the psych ward”. Well back in October 2018… the 19th to be exact. Well, that was the day I tried to kill myself. I won’t get into the weeds about the logistics of it all but just know that I drank a whole butt load of alcohol and tried to down a whole bottle of sleeping pills. I was exhausted and just done with it all. And here’s the part where I say I’m so thankful for being here. Well, it’s not that easy… it’s this love hate relationship that I have with it. My best friend had this weird feeling of coming to check in on me that night, so he was the one that saved my life. I’m happy to be here for my friends and family but at times life just gets so hard where my mind just starts to wander into the thoughts about “what if I was successful?” …and I know that’s a normal thing but recently I have been thinking about the question a lot. It’s almost starting to become concerning with the number of times I think about it.

I know life is supposed to give you challenges. No one’s life is easy… but there’s a point where you can’t handle all the challenges anymore. But of course, if you tell someone that, they will just immediately write you off as the depressed sad girl or give you the reasonings of “your life isn’t that bad” … “what do you have to complain about?” … at this point insert stupid little comment here. I’ve heard it all. It’s hard because they might be right. On paper I have a great life. I have a great family, amazing friends, a loving husband, 3 fur children, I own a house and live by most of the people I care about. So why do I feel like this? Why is the sadness just creeping back into my life?

I’m so afraid that this darkness is coming so fast, and I don’t know if I will be able to stop it or slow it down. I tell my husband every time I feel like this because we made a promise to each other. But when does it become annoying?... You know, bringing it up here and there is whatever but when I bring it up every day, is that going to become a problem? Will I once again be the sad depressed girl that no one wants to be around?

As you read this you probably think you know how this story will end. I’m guessing your theory is that I will try it again because I’m so exhausted and done with life. Well let me put your mind at ease… I won’t be going down that avenue. Even though I don’t want to be here, I must find a way to keep moving forward for the people that care about me. Something I didn’t think about during my last attempt was how that was going to affect my loved ones and the environment around me. Yes, suicide is selfish.

I guess I’ll just live my life with this dark cloud over me forever.

[balloonhouse222]

Stars Align …or Whatever.

Life has been so strange, we’ve known all along but it still surprises me. When I think I’ve got things relatively figured out, I’m hit with a burst of energy I’m unfamiliar with, a feeling within me I never knew I had, or at least that I didn’t know I could experience this way.

Okay let me at least explain where I’m at in life so you can get an idea of what I’m saying. I went through a super soul-crushing breakup, and after months of collecting myself and glueing things back together, I’ve decided to “dip” my toes back into the dating world again. Yeah. Yikes, right? At least for me it was.

I was engaged to my ex, and I’m in my life 20s. So going back to this outside world has been really weird. My therapist told me I’m a serial monogamist- I have a pattern of just hopping right into deep relationships. The difference this time, though, is that the breakup changed me a lot. So I don’t really have a desire to shape a future with someone right now. Which is a big step for me.

This change has shown me something magnificent- that I am meeting people exactly where they are at, objectively learning about the other person with respect to where they desire to be and being less invested emotionally, and more soft & human about it.

Fast forward through a collective amount of missed tinder messages and uncomfortable first dates, I meet this pretty lady. For the sake of this remaining fairly anonymous, we’ll name her Star.

Star came around on tinder. Lame, yes we know. But we connected instantly. She was super pretty too. We went on our first date by the waterfront. She had a bunch of cool patch tattoos and these insanely dark blue eyes. She was grungy too, had shaved sides on her head, short short bangs, a stud above her lip. Beautiful smile, and she smelled like patchouli. It was cool.

We laid on this blanket and had an intense first in-person conversation. Then we made out super hard as the sun began to set across the water. It was equal parts hot as fuck and super sweet.

Weeks pass and we’re kicking it pretty often and I’m learning weird quirky stuff about her and her about me, and then we kind of suddenly just burn the flame out to our time together. We’re both recovering from serious relationships and we shouldn’t get into another one together now (which is where we were heading). So we ended things. Respectfully, reciprocally, amicably.

But now it’s been a few weeks and I can’t get her out of my head. Why can’t I get her out of my head? It feels silly. Which is where we come back to this opening sentence, life is weird. I didn’t know I could feel these things. My ex was, in my eyes (at the time dating and of grieving the breakup) my entire world. And now suddenly she wasn’t. And neither was Star, but Star sparked a new feeling in me, one that felt intrigued and that enjoyed her presence, while also really practicing and respecting my own boundaries within this new space.

I guess this is growth …in some sense. I mean I was successful in breaking a pattern of serial monogamy, right? But now I gotta work on getting her out of my head. I had a crush on her! It’s hard when a cool pretty punk lady comes into your life showing you the sickest music and amazing spots in the city you didn’t know existed. She was fun. Different. And she definitely etched her name into my brain. I’ll remember Star. And wherever she’s at now, I genuinely hope she’s having a beautiful experience with it. And maybe we’ll meet again. Maybe I’ll have to wish upon a Star.

Laughing at the lame closing sentence^^. But you get the idea. I’m happy to finally be in a place where I’ve returned to myself. I can feel things with a genuine sense of joy and excitement. And I’m taking you along the ride. Thanks for reading my first ever blog post!

- 🎈balloonhouse222