#then Vesper is getting a buddy

[ssecond-hand-faith]

Stargazing with SCANDALOUS HAND HOLDING 😱

Clove belongs to @dread0narrival

[kivaember]

AC coffee shop au idea

i went briefly insane over on twitter but like, big idea for a low energy, self-indulgent fun coffee shop au:

The Redgun Cafe is owned by Michigan who was an ex F1 racer, now retired, and several of his employees are like ppl from his career or just scruffed off the street (Iguazu).

Iguazu is the main barista of Redgun Cafe and he makes THE BEST COFFEE EVER it is ambrosia it's perfect it's just that he's an asshole with a sour personality and no customer service skills whatsoever

Across the street (directly across the street) is the Vesper's Lounge, a rival cafe that's very ritzy, very fancy and expensive. It's owned by Freud who ALSO owns a hobby shop on the same street that sells mecha model kits.

Their main barista is Rusty, who can make a decent enough coffee, but in sharp contrast to Iguazu, is very charming and uses his attractiveness to lure in customers. Also has hidden expert baking skills since his father, Flatwell, owns a bakery

YEAH SO Flatwell owns a bakery on the same street. The food there is legendary. His daughter, Ziyi, helps him run it. Rusty does as well when he's not working at Vesper's Lounge

Rusty works at Vesper's Lounge for two reasons: extra money, and because he gets a discount at Freud's hobby shop. Rusty and Freud are both gunpla enthusiasts. Somehow no one else knows that they're gunpla otaku buddies...

Carla owns a bar on the same street called Carla's Bar, and it's a hole in the wall bar that's sustained only by its regulars. She's fucking loaded though, bc she has other businesses elsewhere too.

Walter and 621 work at Carla's bar as bartenders (Walter also does 'other work' (information brokering) for Carla). 621 is Walter's adopted son as well.

The Hounds (617, 619 and 620) run a garage (owned by Carla) and are regulars to the bar. They've taken 621 under their wing.

Ayre is 621's online friend that lives in another country. They play a lot of online games together and also send each other letters and gifts... they've known each other for many years

Anyway the overall plot of this would be... the zany shenanigans this insane street will get up to. Everyone knows Carla's involved in shady shit - probably criminal! - but they just pretend not to notice. It's much more fun watching Snail and Michigan locks horns over their cafe rivalry while Freud keeps trying to turn Vesper's Lounge into a Mecha Cafe (Snail keeps saying no). At some point 621 and Rusty start dating and it's cute and schmoopy. The end.

I WANNA WRITE THIS...

[partikron]

Vesper and Ortus - From Dusk to Dawn

Spoilers for Armored Core VI:

When we first meet V.IV Rusty, he's a member of Arquebus' elite Vesper squad, piloting the AC Steel Haze. When we meet him again in the late game (whether the purpose we found aligns with his or we betray the trust of Rubicon's goodest boy) he pilots a new mech called Steel Haze "Ortus". This is an expert use of naming conventions on FromSoftware's part:

You see, "vesper" can mean something like "evening", the "evening star" (Venus), and evening prayers are also called "vespers".

"Ortus" on the other hand can mean something like "daybreak", "dawn", "sunrise", or simply to rise or get up.

When Rusty is among the Vespers, he is in the darkest part of his life: fighting his own people, killing those that should be his comrades all in the name of a greater cause. When the muzzle comes off, though, and he can finally act in the open, it's the dawn of a new day.

In the mighty Steel Haze "Ortus", maybe he really can chase the clouds away from Rubicon.

He just needs a little help from his best buddy.

[foxgirlsounds]

you know I do like the twist AC6 did with both the Vespers and the Red Guns. Both are lackeys for evil mega corporations, but the Vespers are initially shown as a group of professional, friendly elite pilots.

Pater, your liaison for the Vespers, comes off as a professional and friendly mission briefer, while Rusty immediately starts calling you “buddy” and risks his life to help you. Red Gun Michigan, however, introduces himself as a foul mouth drill sergeant who threatens and demeans his own men.

Then The Twist happens, and it’s revealed (along with being strongly hinted at) that the Vespers are all either brainwashed or completely unhinged—and they all have no problem turning on you when you’ve outlived your usefulness. Hell, they leave one of their own to die when it becomes convenient for them! V.II Snail is more than happy to get people killed when it works for him…and Pater in truth is not nearly as kind as he initially seems.

The Red Guns, meanwhile, stick together till the bitter end. They fight for Michigan and die trying, simply because they’re loyal to him. Despite his bravado and abrasive attitude, he always gave a shit about his own. Michigan knows all of the names of his men, every single one of them, and praises them to his dying breath. Even when Iguazu betrayed the Guns, Michigan refused to insult one of his own.

[katia-dreamer]

It is a beautiful day, and the entire de Rolo family is outside enjoying it. Vesper is reading a book while Leona weaves a dandelion crown for herself. Percival is rocking Freddie in his arms while listening intently to Wolfe talk about something interesting he’d found.

Vex tilts her head back and closes her eyes. She drinks in the warmth of the summer breeze, the sound of her children playing, and the comfort of Trinket lying behind her. 

“Mommy, can I ride Trinket?” Vex opens her eyes to see Leona waiting eagerly for her answer. 

“Trinket, would you be okay with that?” Vex asks. Trinket instantly gives a rumble of agreement.

When Vex nods, Leona instantly claps with joy, her eyes lighting up. “Yay!”

Vex and Trinket both get up and after a moment, Vex lifts Leona onto Trinket’s back. Then, she helps her daughter wrap her arms around his neck. “Remember to hold on very tight, darling.”

“Are you sure I won’t hurt him?”

“I promise you won’t. He’s a very strong bear. Okay, buddy, go slow.” Trinket starts walking slowly, but Vex stays close by just in case. Percival watches them with a broad grin while Wolfe looks on with envy.  

Vex runs her hands over Trinket's head. His fur is soft and thick beneath her fingers. He’s been at her side through so much, and now, he gives rides to her children. Tears burn behind her eyes at the thought, but she smiles anyway.

 “You are such a good boy, Trinket.” Trinket rumbles in agreement, and Vex laughs. 

“I want to go next!” Wolfe whines, but when she raises her eyebrows, he adds, “Please?”

“All right. I’ll let you know when it’s your turn.”

At that moment, Vesper calls to Percy. He is careful not to wake the baby as he stands up, brushes himself off, and walks over to their eldest child. Wolfe follows in his footsteps, copying his movements almost exactly. Vex laughs at the sight, and Percy turns to give her a faux scowl. It warms her heart.

This is her life, and it is wonderful. She gets to spend her days with the man she loves, their children, and even Trinket. Even though her grief is never far away, she is happy. 

She wonders if, somewhere, her brother smiles at the sight. 

-

for @burr-ell

happy birthmas, my friend. <3 <3

also on a03

[mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips]

Fic Writing Review 2023

Tagged by the glorious @thewolvesof1998.

Words and Fics

117,284 words published to AO3 (so many words still in docs as WIPs)

2 fandoms (9-1-1 and The Rookie)

Most recent drop: i opened my eyes (and all i saw was you)

Longest Fic: hard kick, slow burn (M, 11,382 words)

Top Fics by Kudos (all Buddie)

and i always will (M, 2,365 words)

you're where i stand, hearing the sea (T, 2,972 words)

i am never without it (T, 3,404 words)

a madman and a minstrel (T, 2,575 words)

to the depth and breadth and height (M, 6,231 words)

My fandom fic events in 2023

Flufftober 2023! And it was a banger.

My Buddie collection for Flufftober can be found here.

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

Fics I'm going to try and get out in the upcoming year:

Almost complete:

lazarus rising - Buck needs space after the lightning strike. Eddie doesn't understand, not really, but he lets him go. But when Buck comes home, he finds out that something has gone terribly, terribly wrong.

Already started:

magical realism fic (Buck thinks he's allergic to Eddie. Spoiler warning: he's not).

vesper - inspired by the poker episode, Athena asks the boys to go undercover in a poker ring. Think Casino Royale.

Gravedigger fic - fans of Bones will immediately know what I'm talking about here, amirite?

not like this (title TBC) - based on the New Girl kiss (IYKYK)

snow shovel fic - AU where Buck and Eddie are neighbours. it's a whole thing.

you're in my arms (and all the world is calm) sequel - Chenford fic, sequel is from Lucy's POV (and answers the cliffhanger from YIMA)

a Davrick (Schitt's Creek) piece inspired by the 9-1-1: Lone Star episode 'Saving Grace'.

Ideas/planned fics (basically the Notes app on my phone):

No Nut November fic - my actual November turned hectic, but if all goes well I'll still write this one because the plot makes me giggle.

Multi-chapter AU featuring past lives, reincarnation, and soul mates.

night strewn salt across the sky sequel - featuring Barista!Buck and Nurse!Eddie's First Date!

when words and deeds are in accord (my whole world is transformed) sequel - featuring established Buddie fluffiness. With singing!

apocalypse fic - snow. so much snow.

I have had so much fun writing in the 9-1-1 fandom this year - I switched from the HP fandom due to Reasons, and the welcome and love I've been shown has been truly lovely.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read/left kudos/commented/mentioned me in a post or sent me an ask - y'all are amazing.

[crispysnake]

Hey again yall:) here is pt.2 for my Outfit Inspo Boards for my modern au!

Below are the dudes of vm! The gals are over here if you're interested:)

Vax: Of course, I had to make him a balance of emo and slut, and he does so effortlessly. A lot of his flannels and sweaters are stuff he's owned since a little after they ran away, and a lot of his t-shirts (and the sheer ones...slut) and his jewelry are totally, 100% paid for, why do you ask? A little more focused on practicality, what he really cares about are the smaller details, always painting his nails to match Vexs, rings and necklaces from every place they've visited, and later on adding small colourful things to his outfits to match Keyleths (also 100% paid for)

Grog: Similar to his best buddies he prioritizes being comfy, mainly because he is physically active 24/7, his version of dressing nice when they go out is genuinely just a glorified lumberjack outfit, but listen he needs layers because Pike or Keyleth usually ends up stealing his jacket by the end of the night ok??

Percy: an obscene amount of collars and sweaters, let us pretend he doesn't dress how he does in canon and instead talk about how this man has owned that trenchcoat since high school. Jokes aside a lot of his sweaters were his father's and Julius's, some are thrifted courtesy of Keyleth, he just finds them the most comfortable, he likes being covered also she wear he coat. Addintionally he does have a gold pendant necklace that used to be Vespers and he has not taken it off ever.

Scanlan: You know I had to hit him with the button-ups, he's father ok It had to be done. Other than those he specialized in band t-shirts, and almost all of them were ones he bought (or flirted his way into getting) at actual concerts and tours, which are also the same ones Pike regularly steals, if it were anyone else he would be a little more pissed cause those are expensive, but also... its Pike. Later on, when Kaylie is in the picture, he gives her all of his special band tees and talks way too long about the story behind each one.

[the-french-belphegor]

I finished another fic for the @critter-genfic-events's bingo card! "Beach day", this time. I swear I did mean it to be funny and only funny, but then it was also Vox Machina post-campaign, so "Missing someone" ended up being A Thing. Plus "Found family" because that's unavoidable when Grog and his gnomes are concerned 💜

I'll be posting this on AO3 shortly here if you prefer to read on AO3!

—

Grog wiggles sand between his toes and squints at the Marquet sun shining through a passing cloud.

“Oh man,” he hears Scanlan sigh from the chaise lounge thing next to him, “this is the life.”

Meh, Grog thinks, just a little.

Sure, it’s a nice day out, and it’s great that they finally got everyone for a little vacation weekend in the Bay of Gifts – even Keyleth, who’s very busy being leaderly, and even Vex and Percy, who have their hands full with Whitestone but mostly with little Vesper. (Grog still calls her ‘Whisper’, because it became A Thing, and to be fair she’s a fairly quiet kid, in his meagre experience.) Now the girl is napping with her dad under the shade of the parasol after burying Grog into the sand (with helpful pointers from her mum, her uncle Grog and her auntie Keyleth) and playing in the shallows with her auntie Pike and her uncle Scanlan. That’s a lot of things to do, and the little mite is all tuckered out. So’s mostly everyone, it seems, except for Trinket, who is having fun chasing seagulls in the distance.

And Grog is slowly but surely getting bored.

Of course, that’s the moment his insides choose to give a twinge at the lack of Vax shenanigans. One of the many things Grog misses about the guy is that you’d never get bored when he was around. Sometimes not getting bored meant getting half your beard shaved off or various belongings stolen for a prank, but… well.

Pike, Wilhand and Scanlan all say that it’s normal to still be sad about Vax even now. Privately, Grog wonders if it’s stupid to miss some of the truly infuriating things Vax did, like the beard thing. He has a feeling the answer would be “no”, but there’s no way in hell he’ll ask.

“Hey Pike!” he calls out, mostly to distract himself from the oncoming boredom but also from being sad on what’s supposed to be a fun day out. “Wanna go fight the sea?”

Pike is in the process of gathering Vesper’s discarded beach toys and eyeing Percy – who is currently fast asleep near his daughter – with Vesper’s shovel in her hand and a gleam in her eye. Just as Grog is starting to think pranking Percy might be a good distraction as well, she turns to him and grins.

“Sure, buddies. How d’you wanna do that?”

“I was thinkin’ I could walk into the waves and just, like, not budge. Or put you on my shoulder and then see how far we can go till you get splashed.”

“Okay, yeah, that sounds nice,” she says, nodding. “Scanlan? Wanna come with?”

“Eh,” says Scanlan from under the hat covering his face, “I had my share of the ocean earlier. Might work on my tan for a little bit.”

“Come on,” says Grog, because the first time they took a beach holiday Scanlan wasn’t there and their second trip to Dalen’s Closet was, well, A Lot – way too much to just let loose and have fun afterwards, “I have two shoulders. That’s one for Pike, and one for you. It’s huh. Balance.”

(He’s really proud to be able to say a number and not hesitate even a bit. Long sentences with lots of letters still elude him, but he’s starting to know numbers well.)

One of Scanlan’s eyes peeks out from under the hat, along with a smile.

“Aw, big guy. Okay, for balance then, but on one condition.”

“What’s that?” asks Pike with something sharp in her grin, like she really wants to laugh but she’s saving that for a better moment.

“My hair stays dry.”

“That’s it?” says Grog, eyebrows raised. He was expecting something a lot less simple.

“Yeah, that’s it.”

That sounds pretty fair, so Grog agrees.

So maybe walking into the surf isn’t quite fighting an entire ocean, but the three of them manage to make it fun, just like Grog thought they would. Pike stands on his left shoulder, hanging on to his head, and shouts at every wave just as loud as he does; meanwhile, Scanlan sits on his right shoulder, beating a rhythm on his chest with his toes and humming a vaguely familiar tune. There may be something magical at work there, because Grog is feeling a tingling warmth along his spine and into his ribcage, like they’re in the middle of a battle and Scanlan is singing to give him inspiration. That’s nice of him to do that. Maybe it’ll give Grog and Pike an edge.

(Even wearing no armour at all and with waves rolling up to his chest, Grog always feels just a little invincible with those two on his shoulders.)

“You know what, Grog?” says Pike after a while, settling down on his shoulder and grinning at him, her cheeks red and her chest heaving. “That was really fun. I think we could all do with some screaming at the ocean once in a while.”

“Seconded,” says Scanlan, who didn’t do any shouting and mostly either chilled with his eyes closed or looked at Pike like he does sometimes, all soft eyes and slight smile.

Pike gets the same sort of look every now and then. It’s this kind of little details that tells Grog that one of these days the guest bedroom in Wilhand’s attic might become a real guest bedroom again (that and the fact that dawn often finds Pike and Scanlan tiptoeing out of each other’s room). As long as they keep most of the lovey dovey stuff out of sight Grog is fine with it.

“Well, I’m smart like that,” says Grog with a grin, like a joke where only he knows the punchline. Which is kinda the case, actually, if the joke is The little bits are dating and Grog did notice. “I got lots of good ideas.”

Scanlan leans his back against Grog’s head and nods.

“You sure do, buddy. And you guys definitely win in my book. Eat your heart out, ocean!”

“Hey guys!” They all turn – which means the gnomes have to turn a second time because they’re facing the wrong way now – to the beach, where Vex is standing with her hands cupped around her mouth. “Keyleth says there might be some jellyfish in the water by now, have you seen any yet?”

“Some what?” asks Grog, and promptly steps on something squishy.

It’s like walking into a bramble bush. The sole of his foot is fine, but tendrils sneak up his ankle and fire up a prickling pain that instantly runs up his whole leg. The surprise, more than the actual sting, makes him bark a shout and instinctively jump back, but this is uncomfortable as hell.

His shoulders suddenly feel somewhat lighter. Oh shit, he thinks with a flash of fear, old habits taking over, Scanlan should float but Pike’s in heavy armour, she’ll go straight down—

But they’re on vacation, not adventuring – no weapons, no plate armour, just sun hats and bathing suits. When he whirls around he spots Pike easily treading water not far from his elbow. The waves rolling in towards the beach make her go up and down, but she’s completely unfazed.

“You okay, Grog?” she asks, looking a little startled, and Grog isn’t even sure if that’s from being thrown off her perch or on his account.

“Sure,” says Grog, not that sure. “Except, uh, question. Can people die from jellyfish?”

“Well,” says Pike reasonably, “that depends on the jellyfish. I saw some really big ones on the Broken Howl, like big big. But the ones around here just burn a little.” Then her eyes zero in on something ahead of her and her nose crunches. “Yikes. Yeah, you can tell Vex Keyleth was right, look.”

The first and last time Grog saw a jellyfish, it was in Vesrah. Two kids were poking a small blob with a stick until their father told them to stop. What’s floating close to the surface five feet from them is still a blob, but it’s got long thin tentacly things that look like a bunch of transparent seaweed. They’re trailing underneath like it doesn’t know what to do with them. It’s creepy, and it’s weird to think these are why his ankle and calf are stinging like he kicked through embers without a boot on.

Grog scoops Pike up, holds her up out of the water, and makes his way to the beach, trusting Scanlan to meet them there.

When he’s close enough to talk without shouting, he tells Vex, who’s been watching them curiously, “Yeah, maybe don’t let lil’ Whisper into the water just now. There’s at least a couple of the suckers out there. I even got bit, look.”

“Stung, Grog,” Pike corrects, hanging on tight to his arm to avoid toppling over when he lifts his foot. Oops. “Jellyfish don’t bite.”

Vex throws him a look, complicated and quick – worried-sharp-relieved – then grins.

“You know, I’ve heard you can treat a jellyfish burn by having someone pee on it. Not that I’m volunteering, but perhaps if you ask—”

It’s the way she says it. Something flashes in Grog’s mind, like he’s realised something isn’t right but his brain is taking a while to catch up on what, exactly. (It happens.) It’s not that it’s wrong for her to say that – although in the old days Grog wouldn’t have put it past Vax to bring it up instead – so much as she shouldn’t have been the first to say it.

Fortunately, Pike’s brain works much better and faster than his. Her eyes go wide real quick and she exclaims, “Wait – where’s Scanlan?”

A small sliver of cold creeps its way up Grog’s spine. Oh. Shit.

“Didn’t he swim to shore?”

“He didn’t,” says Vex, tense and sharp once more, but worse, like she used to just before a fight. “I would’ve seen him.”

“Well, he has to be somewhere, he can’t just – oh gods no.”

Pike’s voice goes sideways on the last word like someone tripping and falling down a flight of stairs. Grog looks into the same direction and goes cold all over.

There is a shape bobbing along in the water a little ways behind the waves crashing onto the beach.

Grog runs.

He does kind of end up fighting the sea for real today after all.

When he reaches Scanlan, what feels like the next second but also so much time later, the gnome is floating belly down just under the surface of the water. His arms and legs drift a little in the current, like the jellyfish’s tentacle things did. It looks so much creepier. But not as creepy as the way Scanlan lies completely still when Grog picks him up, arms and legs at odd angles like his limbs and joints are missing strings. Both his eyelids and his lips are a little bit blue.

At least there’s no blood. It would bring back real bad memories if there was blood. Well, it does, because this is not the first time Grog’s carried his second best little buddy cold and lifeless like that, but the absence of blood makes it a bit easier to push those memories away.

Pike takes charge as Grog limps out of the water, white seafoam frothing around his calves. Her face is nearly as pale.

“Lay him down,” she says, her voice steel under the usual warmth, and Grog does. He watches her press her ear to Scanlan’s chest, tip his head back, open his mouth, and blow into it. And look, Grog usually doesn’t like it much when they start getting kissy and too wrapped up in each other, but it’s the last thing he’d mind right now. This is the worst kiss he’s ever seen. He’s not even sure it counts as one.

Pike lays her hands flat on Scanlan’s chest and her arms find a steady rhythm – “…three four five six come on eight nine ten—” and Grog winces when he hears something crack. Pike with her gauntlets and her mace and the Blessing of the Everlight is strong, second only to Grog in strength in Vox Machina, but even without she’s a force to be reckoned with. Scanlan’s going to feel that when he wakes up. If he wakes up.

They can’t lose somebody else that’s theirs. They can’t.

Sometimes people go and you never get them back, Grog remembers Kerrek say to Keyleth once, that time Scanlan was dead and Grog spent a very complicated few hours grappling with the fact that all those powerful spellcasters couldn’t bring him back right now. Kerrek had looked surprised way before that when Grog had told him that when someone died, they just brought them back. Like that was usually not the way of things. Like sometimes even people you knew and loved a whole lot just died, and that was it, no Revivify spell, no resurrection.

Grog hadn’t really understood that before Vax died and then became feathers.

If Scanlan dies now, for real, is he going to become feathers, too?

Just as the terror starts to give way into rage – that’s always been Grog’s default way of handling things like that, mostly – Scanlan’s body gives a lurch and he upchucks more liquid than Grog’s ever seen him down in one go in all their years of tavern hopping.

The next second he hears Keyleth yell, “Turn him on his side!”

She’s motioning the water out of Scanlan’s lungs with her hands even as she’s full-on running towards them, spraying sand where her feet hit the beach. In the distance, Vex talks urgently to Percy sitting up next to Vesper before following her, almost as fast.

By the time she’s standing nearby, Keyleth is drawing out the last of the water and replacing it with air with complex arm gestures, long fingers flexing fluidly. The second she’s done, Pike flips Scanlan on his back again and smacks her hands flat on his chest with a flash of intense light that makes Grog see bright spots for a while. A heartbeat later, Scanlan is coughing and retching as if it would make more sense for his insides to be outside. Between dry heaves he takes big gulps of air that sound painful.

But at least he’s breathing.

Grog’s knees suddenly feel like jellyfish tentacles. Sea salt burns in his eyes, and wiping them doesn’t really help. He spares one furious thought towards the ocean – I still won, motherfucker, you don’t get to keep him, just a fleeting remnant of rage – before sitting down on the sand a lot more abruptly than he means to.

From there he catches some soft whispers, some in Gnomish he doesn’t understand, some in Common he does – “It’s okay, you’re okay”, “Slow down, deeper breaths”, and “I know, sorry about your ribs, babe, hold on a sec” – as well as the faint glow from Pike’s fingers as she runs her hand gently along Scanlan’s back. Scanlan’s breaths do come easier after that. (So do Grog’s, incidentally.) He still looks a wreck, though, his soaked curls all over the place, ashen-faced under his tan and half covered in a fine layer of sand. So much for keeping his hair dry. Oops.

“Are you gonna be okay?” asks Keyleth, her voice trembling just a little.

“What the hell happened?” Vex’s voice sounds clipped and almost angry, so sharp it could cut through diamonds but also kinda like it could break if she wasn’t careful. It only does that when things get bad.

Scanlan blinks up at her; he looks at Pike, at Keyleth, and at Grog, and blinks again.

“Good… question?”

It’s because of the jellyfish, Grog realises, and only notices he’s said that aloud when everyone turns their eyes to him. He concentrates hard on not voicing the niggling doubt that it’s his fault more than the jellyfish’s. The squish and the burn might have startled him, but letting both gnomes fall was on him alone. And that… that sucks. A lot.

Pike helps Scanlan sit up, one hand in his and the other still on his back.

“We were just messing around. Grog stepped on a jellyfish – by the way, you okay, buddy?”

“Yeah,” says Grog, even though his ankle still burns a lot, kinda, because he’s – they’ve all – gone through way worse during battles. Fortunately they’re not battling anyone, so Pike still has plenty of magic, and he almost immediately feels the familiar warmth of a Heal spell down to his toes. The next second the red welts on his skin are gone. “Thanks, Pike. And, uh… sorry for getting your hair wet, Scanlan.”

“That’s… a way of putting it, I guess,” mutters Vex.

Scanlan stops brushing wet sand off his face, still looking a little dazed. He looks up (and up, and up) at Grog and waves off the apology with a slightly shaking hand.

“Eh, it’s fine. I probably should’ve told you I can’t swim in the first place.”

Everyone stares at him in a stunned silence that Keyleth finally breaks.

“Wait,” she exclaims, “you can’t swim?”

Scanlan gives half a shrug. “Just never learned, I guess. And I learned Polymorph years ago, so I can just turn into something that swims better than I ever would anyway.”

That does nothing to placate Keyleth, whose voice climbs straight up.

“But – how did we not know that?!”

“It never came up!” protests Scanlan, eyes wide, almost defensive.

“How the hell did that never come up?”

“Guys.” Pike’s voice is clear and sharp; it’s not brittle like Vex’s was, but it’s a fine edge that slices easily through the rising tension before it turns back into her usual soothing tones. “Thank you,” she says to the two women. She opens her mouth, closes it again, and finally just says, “You know. Just… thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Vex says in her normal voice, but her face is pretty pale for all that she just ran a bunch of yards to go get Keyleth. “And Scanlan?”

Grog almost expects him to look up and go “Oi?” with a small smile that could mean pretty much anything. But he just looks up at Vex and doesn’t smile. His eyebrows go up a bit.

“A soon as we can find a body of water that doesn’t have waves in it –”

“Or jellyfish,” adds Grog, whose takeaway of the misadventure is that those things are more dangerous than ocean waves. One corner of Vex’s mouth twitches.

“– or jellyfish, we are teaching you how to swim, darling. And that is non-negotiable.”

Scanlan’s face is still a bit white, his voice still a bit raw when he nods and says, “Understood.”

“I mean it. I hope you can handle a crash course.”

“Well,” says Scanlan, sounding a little more normal, “you know what they say about old dogs and new tricks, but I—” Vex’s eyes glint, “—yep, okay, swimming lesson, no prob.”

Vex flashes a satisfied smirk, but it only stays up for a second. The next moment she’s hugging Scanlan, and it’s over just as quickly before she mutters, “I’d better go and inform Percy that nobody died, thank the gods…”

And it’s like Grog can hear the ‘nobody else’ hidden in that sentence, clear as day.

After she leaves, Scanlan looks at Keyleth with one of those smiles that mean he’s being serious.

“Thanks, Kiki. You know, you’re pretty awesome.”

Keyleth looks less spooked now. She gives a short snort of a laugh and unfolds her long lean body from where she’s sitting on the sand.

“Yeah, well. I spent a long time learning these spells, so. I’m glad you’re okay, Scanlan,” she adds in a softer voice before following Vex.

It’s when her back is turned and she’s a few feet away that Pike – who’s been so still Grog almost expected her to start vibrating – grabs Scanlan by the shoulders and then throws her arms around him. Doesn’t kiss him, just goes straight for a tackling hug that seems to drive the air from his lungs (again).

“I thought you’d Dimension Doored to the beach,” Grog hears her say in his hair, a little muffled, because after a second of surprise Scanlan is hugging back, just as tight. “I thought you’d swum back. You should’ve said you couldn’t, you… I should’ve checked… Holy shit, Scanlan. That was so fucking dumb.”

But she’s trembling a little as she says this, so maybe it’s not really dumb to be scared still, even though everything is okay now.

…Well, kind of okay. No matter what happens, Vax will stay dead. Which means Vex, and Keyleth, and Scanlan, and Pike, and Percy, and Tary won’t really be okay okay for a long time. They’ll still have those moments where they go quiet and still and kind of fragile, like they’re made of glass you can’t quite see through. Like Grog, when his memory betrays him and he thinks I gotta show this to Vax, or Vax will go nuts when he hears that – and then he remembers that Vax is gone and they’ll never get him back.

Maybe that’s part of why Pike is holding Scanlan so tight, and why Scanlan is murmuring to her in Gnomish looking like he just smacked his head into a wall.

And since there’s no kissing involved, just ‘holy crap you’re alive I love you you’re alive’ hugging, Grog picks up his gnomes for some hugging of his own.

The thing is… well. It’s like this. It’s Wilhand and Grog and Pike and Scanlan, living in Wilhand’s house. It’s Grog and Scanlan and Pike, going to taverns and sometimes – less often than they used to, but still sometimes – going home so smashed they can’t walk straight. It’s Pike and Grog and Scanlan going to Vasselheim via teleportation circles; Grog and Scanlan check in at the Slayer’s Take headquarters while Pike drops by the Temple of Sarenrae first, Pike and Grog fight at the Crucible while Scanlan sneaks them some inspiration from the stands, and Grog and Pike and sometimes Scanlan take a contract from the Take to kill some big beast that doesn’t hold a candle to a dragon or a god but is still fun to fight.

The thing is… Grog knows gnomes live a long time. The particulars are unclear and not really interesting to be honest. He just knows that one day, he’ll be too old to fight anything – which sucks, so he hopes it won’t last a long time – and he’ll die for good, and Pike and Scanlan will still be young compared to him. That’s not scary in itself. Grog Strongjaw has never been afraid of dying (especially not since the two halves of Kevdak’s corpse hit the cobblestones of the Westruun town square). But Grog Strongjaw has learned to fear death like he used to before he learned about resurrection spells, whether it comes from the fingertips of a snarling god or the whisper of raven wings. Revivify doesn’t always work, and it gets harder if you died and got brought back more than once. And then sometimes they’re just. Gone. (They could have lost Vex for good as well at the not-wedding a couple of years ago. Sometimes Grog looks at her playing with Vesper, or slumped against Percy with her head on his shoulder, and the thought goes through his brain and leave ice in its wake for a while.)

The thing is… They’re not always out of harm’s way, but they are safe now.

They killed dragons. They thwarted a god. They lost family. They’re entitled to safe, now, right?

None of them are allowed to die before Grog. Not for real. That would just be unfair.

(Especially because of a stupid misstep and a stupid jellyfish.)

So yeah. The gnomes hug each other, and Grog hugs his gnomes.

“Hey, Scanlan,” he says when the two break apart – slightly – and make themselves comfortable against his chest without even thinking about it, out of habit.

“Yeah?”

“Are you mad we didn’t know you can’t swim?”

Something complicated flashes across Scanlan’s face for a second, but then he shakes his head.

“I’d be mad if I’d told you and you’d forgotten,” he says, and Grog believes him.

“I wouldn’t forget a thing like that.”

“I know, bud.”

“We’re gonna teach you, anyway,” Pike points out as the three of them make their way up the beach towards the others, the towels and the parasols. “And no Polymorph allowed. You’re not cheating your way out of this one.”

“That’s not cheating, that’s just… creative thinking! Swimming is boring – why would I want to swim when I can turn into a porpoise instead?”

“Why didn’t you do that earlier, then, instead of giving us all a heart attack?”

“I was taken by surprise, obviously!”

“Wait,” says Grog, “how the hell do you turn into a purpose?”

“P-o-r-p-o-i-s-e, buddies. It’s an animal. Kinda looks like a dolphin.”

“Dolphins are usually purposeful, so that tracks.”

“You’re not helping, Scanlan.”

“Yeah, you’re not helping me cultivate my litter-a-see, Scanlan.”

Grog isn’t sure (yet) how to spell ‘literacy’ and he mostly means it as a joke anyway, but Scanlan’s whole face lights up with delight, so maybe it means he stuck the landing.

Of course this is where Vesper’s little voice pipes up to ask what ‘literacy’ means, and what’s a porpoise, and then what does a jellyfish look like, because she’s a curious little one and she loves to know things and figure things out. Scanlan spins a tale on the spot for her that only looks like what actually happened if you tilt your head and squint really hard; at some point a giant whale is involved and Pike, Vex and Keyleth swing down from an airship to save the day. Percy’s eyebrows shoot up from behind his glasses at that, Keyleth laughs, and Vex grins and takes a mock bow before returning to scratch the spot behind Trinket’s ear.

Vesper listens to Scanlan with increasing awareness that this is A Story – firmly in the land of make-believe, where no one dies, nobody is ever in real danger, and all’s well that always ends well – and gives dramatic gasps and laughs at the right places.

Pike plops Scanlan’s hat on her head and settles behind him to comb the sand and the knots out of his hair with her fingers as he talks. Sometimes she smiles the same soft little smile Scanlan had earlier, while she and Grog were screaming at the ocean.

And Grog?

Grog settles on the ground, wiggling sand between his toes, and watches his family being alive.

—

Raise your hand if you love Grog Strongjaw and his gnomes 🥰

Me a couple of months ago seeing this post:

"Ooh, that's great! Great potential for comedy!" So I jotted down these lines -

“Wait, you can’t swim!? How did we not know that?” “It never came up!” “How the hell did it never come up??

- and then a couple of months later came up with the fic above 😅

Hope you liked!

[scurvgirl]

Some Uncle Grog fluff for your Sunday. Shout-out to all my fellow dyslexics out there.

Anyways, here is little Wolfe De Rolo bonding with his Uncle Grog.

_

While Vox Machina wasn't always together anymore, there were times where they made sure to be together. Winter's Crest was one of those times. Grog was in Whitestone Castle, getting ready to head out to the bakery before probably working out with the Whitestone guards - gotta remind them that defense isn't ALL in the guns.

Grog walked through the hall when his ear twitched at a noise. Huh. That was weird. Curious, he turned and opened up the door closest to him. It was closet, full of mostly blankets but also Wolfe.

"Oh it's just you, Uncle Grog." The boy sighed.

"Uh what do you mean by that, just Uncle Grog?"

"I mean you're not...one of them."

"Who?"

He sighed again, "My tutors. Leona....my parents."

"Hmm, Percy has been in a pissy mood lately."

Wolfe shrugged, "Mum's pregnant, he's always in a mood when she's pregnant. But that's not why I'm in here. Look I just...I just can't do school today."

"Oh, well you want to go out with me? I was gonna pick up sweets then hit some stuff."

Wolfe's eyes lit up, "Yes! I'd love to do that!"

"Alright! Let's go, little buddy."

"Hey! I'm tall for my age!"

Still small to Grog but maybe Wolfe was right - he wasn't gnome sized even. "Medium buddy!"

They headed to the bakery, picked up a bunch of bear claws then headed to the training yard.

"Alright, boys put down your little fun sticks - time to practice some REAL combat!" Grog shouted, ready to get a nice brawl going when...hm. Wolfe was here. Vex had two, no, THREE rules for the babies. One, no beer. Two, no brawls. Three, no house of lady favors. It limited Grog severely BUT maybe...maybe he didn't need to brawl but show Wolfe some beginner steps. Percy certainly didn't seem to be training the boy for anything for guns and school. It occurred to Grog then that he could teach Wolfe how to be strong.

"Make room for the...little lord Wolfe De Rolo! Today, he learns how to be strong!" There's a pause before the guards hollar and hoot in agreement. Wolfe smiles brightly up at Grog which makes him feel a weird warm tingly feeling in his chest. Not bad, kinda like when Pike heals him but also not like that. Cool.

For the next several hours Grog showed Wolfe how to train. They did push ups, sit ups, pull ups...lots of ups, not many downs. He even showed Wolfe how to properly hold a sword and how to punch without breaking your fingers.

Grog called the end when Wolfe started looking like he was maybe a bit in pain or too tired. No sense in making his nephew hurt.

"Alright! That was good! Keep working out like that and maybe you'll be as ripped as me one day."

"That was intense but good. I liked it, I think my body may feel different tomorrow - but this was good. What do we do now?"

"Now we go to the bar! Like strong men do!" That earned Grog another bright smile and warm feeling in his chest.

They headed to a tavern where Grog bought himself some ale, a giant sandwich and....a giant sandwich for Wolfe too.

"You got a weapon you think you would like?"

Wolfe smiled, "Mum has us practicing the bow, which I like. But...I want to try an axe."

"Atta boy!" He reached over and clasped Wolfe's shoulder. "So, you gonna tell me why you didn't want your parents and...others to find you today?"

The smile on Wolfe's faded and the warm feeling in Grog's chest was replaced with a twisty feeling he did NOT like.

"It's...embarrassing."

"Oh, did you poop your pants or something?"

"No! Nothing like that. I just..." Wolfe sighed, "everyone in my family is so smart. Dad invented guns and mum is so, so good with money and Vesper knows so many languages now. Leona reads so fast, and even little Danny is beginning to read. But...I'm not like that. Reading...is so hard, Uncle Grog. It doesn't make sense in my head, the letter and the sounds... they thought my eyes were bad like Leona but nope, it's not my eyes. I'm just...not smart."

The twisty feeling in Grog's chest worsened. It reminded him too much of the hard parts of being in Vox Machina, of always being around smart people.

Wolfe kept going, "But...maybe I don't need to read. Maybe I can just be strong! Like you, Uncle Grog!"

That...felt wrong. This was Percy and Vex's boy, and more...Grog hated he couldn't read for so long. Hated books, hated words, hated...his brain. Wolfe shouldn't go through that.

"We worked a lot on being strong today. You did some really good work. But being strong isn't all about muscles." He said carefully, thinking about Earthbreaker Gruun.

"It isn't?"

Grog shook his head, "Strength is about doing hard things. Doing things that make you work. You don't get strong by doing easy things. You get strong by doing the work and...and standing by your friends because sometimes that's hard too.

"Sure, you could get all muscly like me but you have to ask, Wolfe - where does your strength come from?"

Wolfe was silent for a long moment before he sniffled, "I don't know, Uncle Grog."

"That's okay. You can answer that later. But first, reading is a challenge, yeah?" Wolfe nodded. "Meet the challenge. Beat it. And if what you're doing isn't working, then WE can find a way that does."

"Okay...will you help? I don't think I can do it alone."

Grog smiled at the boy and clasped his shoulder again, "Of course. And when you need a break, we can BREAK stuff!"

"Yeah!"

They finished their afternoon meal before heading back to the castle. Halfway there, a familiar, pissy voice came in over the earring.

"Grog Strongjaw, tell me you have my son with you."

"Hey, Percy. Yeah, Wolfe's here. We had a good man day!"

"MAN DAY?! Did you take my son to a brothel?! He's NINE, GROG!"

"Relax! We got sweet, hit stuff, then got sandwiches at the tavern."

A long suffering sigh phased through the earring. "Just...bring him home."

"Already on our way."

Wolfe looked up at Grog, "Is he mad?" Grog shrugged.

"He'll get over it. Hey, you wanna ride on my shoulders?"

"Hells yeah!" Grog hoisted him up and they finished the rest of the walk this way with Wolfe peering down at everyone who was suddenly much shorter than him.

They reached the castle, which meant meeting a pissy Percy, a perturbed Vex, and put-out tutors. Grog took the blame - he wanted some alone Uncle Grog time with Wolfe. He could take his friends' annoyance. Leona and Vesper took Wolfe aside to go play upstairs while the grown-ups stayed in the study.

"So uh, Wolfe told me that reading is hard for him."

Percy waved him off, "Yes, we know, we are working on it-

"Well, it's not working. I'm gonna stay to help. Show him what worked for me."

Vex looked at Percy and shrugged, "He makes a good point, darling."

They all talked a little longer, working out what Percy called "logistics."

Before the children went to bed, Wolfe ran over to Grog and gave him a hug.

"You're the best uncle, Uncle Grog. Thank you."

Grog held him a little tighter. He was a good uncle. That warm little feeling in his chest returned in full strength.

[mysticcabinboy]

Shitposting on comms

[Got a job for you 621, this one comes from Carla at RaD.] I have an interesting plan tourist. Were going to go into the Balam Redgun radio chatter and have a little fun. 10k for every minute you successfully troll them. Do whatever you like, make a little noise and give me a little distraction while I hack their database.

Red vignette fades in. Ayre: Hmm… this is a strange request. Im not sure what you will be able to do on your own, however… some things in your files that might help you out… maybe we can use them?

Meanwhile in the redgun comms Alright everyone, shape up and listen! Todays gonna be one hell of a job for everyone involved and it aint gonna let up anytime soon. Arquebus pulled a fast one on us before but were sure as hell gonna get them back by getting one step - Carameldansen 200% bass boosted starts playing in the background. What the- who the hell- GET THAT NOISE OUT OF MY HEAD! Iguasu you couldnt handle a bug in your ear! I think i know whats going on- Lemmie get a hold of someone.

[Getting a message from the Redguns 621.] This is G1 Michigan! I personally make a request for you to cease this comms disturbance immediately! I would normally not tolerate this kind of behavior from my own squad, but I think we can make a better deal. How about this? 3 times what youre getting to mess around with the Vespers instead! What do ya say G13?

[Well, thats certainly an interesting proposition, up to you 621.]

Vesper Comms:

V.IV, your job is to go down into the survey area and hunt down a rogue mercenary-

Step! starts to fade in slowly, before getting bassboosted.

I didnt know you had such good taste, buddy. How about i join in?

Fortunate Son starts to play at max volume.

BOTH OF YOU MUTTS CEASE THIS MADNESS THIS INSTANT!

Looks like the party started without me, im done with my work Tourist. But id be remissed if i didnt join in on the fun.

Cowboy bebop opening starts blaring max volume.

Hey there ya snotty cheatin bastard. You won the war but i got this sick ass solo.

Michigan starts playing the free bird solo himself.

[This is a mess... let me know when youre done 621, keep in mind theres still a job to do.]

[foreverumbra]

I had the funny idea of the concept of V.I Freud and "Honest" Brute being friends. Like they're sparring buddies or something. Freud just happened to encounter Brute one day and they battled it out, but for whatever reason they let the other live. But they both enjoyed the shit out of the fight and started making it a regular thing with Freud sneaking away from their Vespers every now and then and going to Grid 012 for some fun.

And like sure Brute's not the most skilled pilot, but he puts up a good fight and has strong appreciation for his ac and Freud can respect that. Sometimes their spars are more just bragging contests, gushing about how good their acs are, talking about what improvements they made, giving each other ideas and tips.

Perhaps they'd even offer each other ac parts, albeit to no avail. Brute doesn't want to change Milk Tooth too much from how he and Carla made it and as for Freud he'd take the parts but he still has to keep up with being a vesper, there's already not alot of tolerance for him using competitor's parts and Snail would go ballistic he he saw him trying to "use some trash" he picked up somewhere. (not like he cares what Snail thinks but not worth the hassle)

Sometimes maybe Brute even has the coyotes help him construct some new machines to mess around with. Sure they're not the greatest, made with stolen parts and random scrap, but its a kick to send them out and watch Freud tear through them.

When Brute finally ends up losing to Raven, Freud's disappointed. They both knew something like that would happen sooner or later, but its still harsh knowing he fell to a hound of Walter working under the orders of RaD. This however spurs Freud further into hoping to fight them one day, and when he does well he doesn't hold back, he gets why Brute would let the hound win.

[cityandking]

3, 13, 34 for narayani and vesper!

thanks dear!! // 50 inquisitor asks

3. How did they handle being called the Herald of Andraste?

NARAYANI — unwillingly and ungraciously. she was not happy about it and made her displeasure known quite loudly. she's got enough shit going on without being called the herald of a holy figure of a religion she doesn't practice. fuck the chantry and the maker and all that bullshit. VESPER — she was deeply uncomfortable with it and quick to demure. truly she was only stepping up in a time of need. she was less caustic about it than rani (it would be hard to be more caustic) but she was quite firm that whatever role she held or martyr she heralded, that was something other put on her, not something she claimed for herself.

13. What did they think of Solas?

NARAYANI — sure he can be a bit of a sanctimonious bastard about some things (modern elves; his own culpability), but so can she, so that wasn't entirely a turn off. she really liked him—loved him, even (whoops). he was clever and well-traveled and generous with his time and attention and offered his perspective on things with firm certainty but without demanding she do things his way, which was a nice change of pace—he listened to her in a way a lot of people didn't, and he was polite and humble too. she trusted him and his judgement, which was saying a lot (and a little unfortunate, given how things ended). there was something about them, together, that just sort of fit, and for someone who was so used to nothing fitting, that was... really nice. VESPER — really liked him. her (second) favorite study buddy. she appreciated his insight and his wisdom and they had many many winding conversations about magical theory and also ethics and history and the fade; she's almost as much of a fade/history nerd as he is (or pretends to be) and they got on marvelously well. she's going to prove him wrong and save him from himself—second chances are what she does best.

34. How do they cope with the stress of being Inquisitor?

NARAYANI — by generally refusing to engage with it on any personal or emotional level. sure she gets sucked up into the role and its obligations, but it's still just a role. it's not her. and yeah, maybe she becomes the mask, and maybe it takes over her life and everything else in it, because she has nothing and no one to anchor her, but there's still that disconnect between inquisitor and rani that leaves just enough space for (the dregs of) personhood. VESPER — by not coping, mostly. by letting it eat her alive. by burning herself down to embers and struggling to rekindle the flame. also a fair bit of drinking, and eventually letting herself be coaxed out of her deep pits of exhaustion by friends who will remind her that her life isn't just the inquisition. there are good things too.

[kivaember]

it's maid day so here's 621 in a maid dress and rusty suffering

-

Every so often, Rusty would manage to convince Raven to "meet up" outside of sorties to "hang out".

The reason for the quotation marks there was that Raven didn't know that they met up to hang out. Rusty usually had to couch his requests in mission speak... and, admittedly, pay Raven afterwards to maintain the innocent deception. It was always a pittance, and Raven was under the impression that he was doing Rusty a favour by giving him a "buddy discount" (his words, not Rusty's), which made it seem like it was Raven manufacturing reasons to "meet up" by accepting clearly bogus missions for 100 COAM a piece-

Okay, this is getting complicated.

To simplify: they were both two very messed up guys who had no idea how to make friends normally, so Rusty did triple layers of subterfuge to hang out with the one person who was unrelated to the tangled hot mess that was his spy life on Rubicon, while Raven was unable to socialise outside of mission objectives and parameters.

They went on a lot of 'geographical surveys' together, is what he's saying.

It was enough to have the Vespers notice, but not exactly suspicious. From what Rusty had gleaned from Pater's sly jibes and Hawkin's poorly concealed smiles, they thought he and Raven were running off to secluded areas to have wild, passionate sex in each other's cockpits. Technically it was against company policy, but they were out on the frontiers. It was likely considered an acceptable misdemeanour to let Rusty blow off steam harmlessly - and a potential hook to sway Raven more towards an Arquebus bias.

Rusty didn't disabuse them of their assumption. It made things easier, really. He said 'I'm going on another geological survey with Raven, he requested my presence' and O'Keeffe would wave him off with 'okay just don't take all night again'. Snail would take one look at 'geological survey' and 'V.IV Rusty' and 'Raven' on the mission report and promptly lose interest - by now it was a short hand for 'V.IV is making a booty call'.

It let him take his time. He'd meet Raven, but then move on and spend a few hours elsewhere without needing to think of an excuse - because everyone would assume he was fucking Raven.

Honestly - he wished.

But no, their meetings were as chaste as things could be. They had scoped out a few good locations to meet - shielded from the wind, the snow, and allowing them to spend a few hours outside of their ACs - but they made sure to alternate them in a random pattern, just in case Balam or some enterprising independent mercenary got any ideas. Every time they met up, Rusty would bring what little he could for entertainment, a few bottles of smuggled Rubicon moonshine, and they would just... talk and chill.

...and then one meet up, Raven turned up in a dress.

-

The meeting spot they chose this time was an old yet mostly intact building situated in the shadow of a sky grid. The building was built of concrete and insulating material, the interior lukewarm compared to the frigid climes outside, and had likely been a school, once upon a time.

Rooms with desks and chairs, hallways with lockers, an old gym where the wooden floors had long since rotted and the ceiling half-caved in, and dark labratories where the chemical cabinets had been broken into, their contents long since emptied and leaving bare shelves and discoloured, empty glass jars.

It was one of their more favourite meeting spots, and Rusty had arrived first this frigid evening. He had parked STEEL HAZE outside the building, the AC sat in a low squat and partially concealed behind the multi-story building. Rusty had clambered out and trudged his way inside, makign for their usual meeting spot inside: the headmaster's office.

It was still relatively intact. An old, oaken desk that had withstood the ravages of time, a sofa where the springs had gone flat but wasn't moth-eaten, and a large window where the glass was frosted over but still intact. The carpet was stained, though, and the bookcases lining the wall were lacking books - moisture had gotten in here at some point, and the books had decayed into something mushy, but otherwise the room was serviceable for their meeting.

Rusty sat down on the sofa, resting his boots on the creaking coffee table, and stared out the window. The building sighed and creaked around him, the wind howling as it rattled the window, giving a sense of lonely isolation. Rusty just cracked open one of the moonshines he had brought with him, drinking straight from the bottle. He didn't like thinking about why Rubiconian settlements were so eerily abandoned.

He got through half the bottle by the time he heard the telltale growl and rumble of an arriving AC. His confirmation came when a data exchange request zipped to his implants, coming from Network ID: 04-23-621. Raven.

Rusty accepted it. There was no verbal communication or anything like that, and admittedly Raven was the first and only time he'd ever used his implants like this, but it was just an.. acknowledgement? Regardless, he accepted the request, Rusty felt a vague sort of 'okay', and the connection dropped as quickly as it was formed. Raven's way of saying 'hello', he supposed.

Made him wonder if there was a level of incompatibility between Old and New Gen. Rusty had heard Old Gen had a weird sort of 'telepathy' capability with each other, but no such thing existed with the New Gens. Rusty didn't know the science behind it, but Coral was well known for being able to store insane amounts of data and transporting it near-instantaneously across vast distances, whereas the 'Coral Substitute' used in New Gens could... not do that. A fact that the UEG was eternally sour over, after Arquebus had unveiled it with much fanfare.

(In fact, the 'Coral Substitute' was barely a substitute at all. The only thing it could do was successfully augment a human... to a fraction of what an Old Gen's performance was like, yes, but it was still something. The massive amount of energy, data storage, and quantum characteristics were still a work in progress)

In any case, the "telepathy" would've been useful to have, but ultimately Rusty was relieved. There were all kind of horror stories about Old Gens being susceptible to 'neural-hacks', and Rusty quite liked having complete control over his own mind and thoughts, thank you. It was the only thing he could claim to actually own in this capitalistic hellscape of a galaxy.

He continued sipping through his bottle of moonshine as he waited. It was quiet, Raven no doubt parking up STALKER beside STEEL HAZE and likely making his way up here. He was a slow walker - incredibly slow - so Rusty had all but finished the bottle by the time he heard footsteps shuffle towards the office.

Rusty felt loose and relaxed, pleasantly warm, and he slid his boots off the coffee table and set the empty bottle down on it just as the door creaked open. Tone light and slightly drawling, he looked up with a: "About time you-"

He stopped.

Raven stood in the doorway, staring at him with that bland, emotionless stare of his. That wasn't what gave Rusty pause. It was his- outfit.

"Uh, buddy. Your... clothes..." Rusty said very slowly, his gaze fixed on Raven's torso. The moonshine hadn't been that strong, had it? He knew some batches could cause hallucinogenic effects, but Rusty was Rubiconian. It'd take more than one bottle to cause that in him.

Raven looked down and plucked at said clothes, black fabric pinched between gloved fingers.

It looked cheap - the sort you'd find on the rack at a local supermarket on Earth. It was too shiny, and Rusty could see how the fabric had creased horribly from where it had been neatly folded up in its packaging, giving it the look of a crisp packet or something similar. It didn't fit right either - a bit too baggy at the chest, since Raven lacked the assets to fill it, and loose around the hips, since he barely had any. It was long at the knee too, the skirt stopping just shy of an inch above his ankle - not that it showed any skin, as Raven was still wearing his usual steel-capped combat boots, the laces loosely tied up and dangling messily.

After another few seconds of shocked staring, Rusty belatedly realised that Raven was in some fascimile of a maid outfit. The 'sexy' kind, except it was clearly for someone taller and, um, curvier than him, so it negated the 'sexy' and came across as homely instead. Either way, the effect was the same: stunning Rusty into silence.

Raven looked up, his blank expression saying he saw nothing strange about all this. He pulled at the hem of his gloves - his usual ones, black leather with steel stitched over the knuckles - before crossing his arms. The only saving grace was that he was wearing a jacket, unzipped of course, but it just clashed with the whole ensemble.

Weirdly, Rusty couldn't help but be reminded of those animated shows Pater covertly watched in the office when Snail wasn't around: anime? He was pretty sure he saw a character in one of his shows dressed like this, except it had been a female maid armed with an ancient AK-47 shooting zombies, not an AC pilot.

"Um," Rusty tried. After another pause, he cleared his throat and said: "What's with... the outfit?"

Raven just shrugged, and unfolded his arms to shuffle towards the sofa. Rusty just watched as Raven sat down on the other end... and slouched, his legs spreading. Rusty had to fight the urge to lean over and pull the hem of his skirt down from where it hitched up.

Thankfully, it at least revealled he was wearing thick, woollen stockings underneath... Raven wasn't wandering around without any form of pants, thank god.

After a pause, Raven dug into his jacket pocket and typed languidly on his communication's device: "I was told this is customary to wear on 'Maid Day'."

Rusty didn't know where to begin.

"Who- told you that?" Actually, he knew exactly where to begin. "Walter? Did- did Walter put you in that?"

He knew there was something skeevy going on between him and Raven, but to think he was forcing Raven - who had no choice but to obey him, thanks to his indentured servitude - to dress up to satisfy his desires... was he even-!?

"No." Raven gave him an odd look. "It was the men."

"The- men?"

"The men."

Rusty stared. Raven did not elaborate.

just leave it alone, Rusty, a voice that sounded a lot like Uncle muttered, just leave it alone...

He couldn't, though. Once you dumped a mystery, no matter how bizarre or comical, Rusty was compelled to peel it apart and devour it. He had to know what the fuck was up with all this.

"What men?" Rusty pressed. "Do you know how many men are on this planet? You're not narrowing it down."

Raven shrugged again, but he did, thankfully, elaborate this time: "The men Walter hires to maintain my AC. They belong to RaD."

Oh, okay. That makes se- no wait.

"So, those RaD guys put you in that dress?"

"They told me it was traditional."

"Were they wearing maid dresses?"

"Some of them."

Well, at least it wasn't a pack of perverts ganging up on the clearly very attractive yet naive Raven, Rusty thought darkly. Though, they could still be perverts. Did Walter not vet any of his hires? Then again, pickings were slim on Rubicon if you wanted neutral workers that wouldn't rob you blind the moment you had your back turned...

"Is that all they did?"

Raven just looked increasingly confused. "...is there more to this day? Did they forget to do something?"

"No, no, just..." Rusty sighed. "I wanted to make sure they hadn't done anything, uh... like, you know..."

He dithered over his words. Raven blinked guilelessly at him.

"...inappropriate," Rusty finished in a mumble.

Raven made a small noise of acknowledgement. "I see. No, they didn't sexually harrass me or anything like that. Walter would kill them."

"Ah. Um." Well, okay, maybe Raven wasn't as naive as he thought. "Well. Um. Good?"

Raven gave him a somewhat evaluating look. "Do you like it?"

"Ah?"

"The dress."

"Well, it..." Rusty faltered, then decided he needed another bottle of moonshine for this. He fished out two, handing one over to Raven while keeping the other for himself. "They clearly didn't get your size right."

"It is baggy in places."

"Uh, yeah, I noticed."

"Around the chest."

"Yeah..."

"And the hips."

Rusty coughed. "I noticed."

Raven was staring very intently at him at this point, like he was trying to telepathically convey something to him through sheer force of will, yet was coming up against the impenetrable wall that was called 'frustrating obliviousness'.

"It's basically falling off. The zip doesn't go up all the way on the back."

"Really? I can give you my jacket if you need-"

Raven cut him off with a loud, gusty sigh, and took a large swig of his moonshine. Rusty felt like he'd missed something embarrassingly obvious.

For a few moments, nothing but the howling wind could be heard. Rusty frowned as he sipped his own drink, peeking at Raven and his ill-fitting maid outfit and the general weirdness of the whole thing.

These meetings tended to go like this: they'd sit together, share a few drinks, and Raven would ask him rather strange yet innocent questions about perfectly normal things like they were incredibly alien. What was it like going to school? What was his fondest childhood memory? Had he ever pet a cat before? What was it like working in an office?

Rusty vaguely understood that Gen Fours didn't have pleasant lives in this galaxy, but those kind of questions... it made it seem like Raven had never had a normal life at all, not even a childhood. It made him uneasy to think about, but he indulged Raven all the same. He fed him a pack of lies of course, spinning a yarn about his days growing up on one of the Tau Ceti colonies, but Raven ate it up all the same. It seemed harmless, Raven's curiosity and Rusty's blatant lies.

So this? This was outside the norm. Or it could be Rusty overthinking things. It was probably some silly prank the RaD lot pulled on Raven, unaware that the pilot didn't comprehend the concept of 'social shame'. Raven also lacked social skills, and on more than on occasion accidentally said things that sounded inappropriate, but was just him either being too literal, too blunt, or just unaware of the double entrente he came out with. This was likely one of those times.

"They called this a date."

"..." Okay, well. So much for that. "Those RaD guys?"

"Yes."

Rusty lowered his bottle, resting it against his thigh. He stared straight ahead, thinking about the pointed comments of the other Vespers. It was just that, except Raven lacked social awareness. That's all.

"...this is a geographical survey."

"We're in a building drinking illegal moonshine together."

"We're surveying the interior of this building very intently," Rusty continued, not daring to let himself think this was what he was suspecting it to be. He'd told himself, from the first time he and Raven had met face-to-face and fully understanding just how lacking in agency he was, that he wouldn't dare cross a single line with him. Not like that in any case.

"I even pay you," he added belatedly. He could see Raven typing on his communication device in his periphery. "Because this is a mission."

"I assumed it to be pleasure escort pay."

Oh god. Was that what Raven had thought this was the whole time-!?

"But you don't need to pay me anymore," Raven continued while Rusty internally disintegrated out of sheer horrified mortification (and bewilderment that Raven willingly accepted such low payments he was definitely worth a hundred times what Rusty paid for pleasure escorting). "I enjoy our time together. It's mutually enjoyable. So, it's a date now. That's what the men said."

The men knew too much about Rusty and Raven's personal affairs what the fuck.

"It's okay if you're shy. I'll go as slow as you like, Rusty."

Rusty couldn't even say anything in defence of himself, mute with embarrassment and bright red from mortification. Raven turned his body slightly towards him, and gently rested a hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry if using the dress as a seduction attempt was too risque for you, though. The men said guys like you would like it, and I trusted their judgement."

The men knew too much about Rusty and Raven's personal affairs what the fuck.

"I... uhhh..." Rusty somehow managed to engage his brain. "Um, like- fine. Okay. That's okay. The dress is good. Okay."

Raven's blank expression gained a minutely baffled edge to it.

Good god he wasn't going to be able to look at anyone in the face after this. Rusty rarely misjudged a social situation, and never did he do so this disastrously. He was going to crawl into STEEL HAZE and not come out for days after this.

"I mean." Rusty forced out a sigh. "I'm- you just took me off guard. I'm. Fine with this. Date. Yup. This is a date now. If that's how we'll roll it, I'm cool with that. Cool, cool."

"Rusty. You do not sound or look cool."

"Totally cool," Rusty said tightly, his face feeling hot enough to fry an egg on it. "As a cucumber."

"It's okay, Rusty. I don't mind you being uncool."

Girl, help.

"I thought I was being slick," he suddenly said, unable to keep up the act(?) any longer. "I had it planned out, that you thought these were missions and we both had plausible deniability about the whole thing. We're not emotionally well-adjusted at all, buddy. We're supposed to be weird about this."

"I know."

"But you turned up in a maid dress."

"It is maid day."

"Why didn't you say anything about me paying you like you're a- a feelings prostitute?"

"Because we're not emotionally well-adjusted."

Rusty had no argument against that. He just admitted it, after all.

"It's okay." Raven patted his arm and then leaned back. "We've communicated now, like the men told me too. Next time, we can progress. I'd like to try hand holding."

"...okay," Rusty said, because what do you say in response to such earnestness? He was still grappling with the realisation that Raven thought he was being paid like a prostitute for the past few months.

Raven nodded, like that was that. "I was hoping you would dress up, though."

"For maid day." Rusty didn't say it as a question.

"You would look cute."

"Cute."

"And attractive. You have the waist and hips for it. In fact, this maid dress could fit you? It would be tight, though."

"Raven."

"Hold on. Let me strip."

"Raven-!"

[waysaii]

EEEEEEE!!! So I was writing a lore post for my Offlands and Far Off babies and then tumblr died and it all got erased 🤪

Anyway! In the spirit of not going insane, I’m instead sending my D&D character first!

This is Vesper:

Or at least Vesper Sinclair is the name they go by most of the time. They don’t actually have a last name and their real first name is Vex, but they’re a changeling so they’ve gone by a lot of identities and their real name stays kind of close to the chest. Vesper is the name they use in the campaign with their party.

If you didn’t know, changelings are shapeshifters, and don’t often live with many other changelings (just like parents if they know them) but Vesper never met the parents! They grew up as an orphan and consequentially, being an orphan and a shapeshifter, they became, well, adept at getting away with stealing.

They essentially grew up as a tiny grifter and subsequently grew up into a charming charlatan! They met the team by scamming the hell out of the noble in the crew, Vinny, and Vinny ending up taking an affinity to them.

They are a sassy little shit, and a taaaad blasé with the law, but will slip an orphan some bread if they think the crew isn’t looking. Has probably attempted to (and succeeded to) turn a couple kids into criminal masterminds.

They’re genderfluid and will change pronouns to match the presentation of the face they’re wearing. They/them when not shapeshifted!

Also a bit of if a wine aunt was a con lady.

First of all, since I'm not too familiar with D&D, so thank you for the explanation on their species (?) :D

Now, they seem like such a cool character!!! I love characters that can shapeshift/change their appearance because 1- It's a very cool ability 2- There's usually that one quality about them that just,, makes them shine? (I'm not sure how to put it into words, but I mean to say they give off an alluring type of vibe)

I love the way you've made them!! Like their personality, backstory and appearance, it all come together well! Also their behavior with other members/characters/people, it all suits them!

Also out of curiosity, can they shapeshift into non-living objects or any other creatures? Or only into fellow humanoid buddies? And is there any criteria to be met or just anyone they see?

[rightpastnowhere]

fluffy HCs as requested bud <33

Vesper is absolutely spoiled by VM - they get better with it as time goes on [the Trickfoots have their own kids, and the rest have their responsibilities really settle in, and Vex and Percy learn that maybe spoiling a kid rotten isn't the best way to go] but this kid gets everything. Partially because she's the first baby and SO cute... partially because Vax just died and Vex is A Mess so they're all rallying to defeat this for her, for themselves, and it's very healing to make a lil baby smile and laugh.

Scanlan actually isn't the best at lullabies - the kids turn to Pike's huskier and softer voice at bedtime. Which Scanlan is Very Dramatic About, but he has the best songs for games and chores and good times and such. But Pike lulls them right to sleep, and also offers up sea shanties when they're working on chores as a family that require a rhythm.

Sorry, but you know Willhand'ildan absolutely fucking hates his name. He and Vax'ildan (Dan) bond over not really... knowing how to deal with being named after dead people, especially the same guy their parents feel guilty about not being able to save. So Dan and Wills actually end up being very close friends, and I HC they're fairly close friends too. I HC Dan as becoming a Druid in Zephrah, and if so he and Wills either send letters regularly or Wills works as a Tempest Blade there too (shhh hes FINE hes FINE he comes out COMPLETELY UNSCATHED SHHH).

Juniper's feelings are less complicated, because Scanlan had a lot more time to come to terms with his mother's death, and her name is a lot more common / namesake less well known so people don't immediately bug her about it. She feels really touched she has this connection to this woman only her dad knew.

Not v relevant but imagine an AU where Tary and Lawrence adopt a lil Fjord. (They both settle down in Port Damali, which is where Lawrence was living, and where Fjord grew up!) Consider Fjord with gay dads who absolutely trounce on standard ideas of masculinity from the word go, and also are prolific authors. Jester would get absolutely fucking starry-eyed when he tells her lmao

OH MY GOD VM BABIES ;;;;;

vesper being spoiled by a vm who feel guilty about vax and paranoid about this small fragile lil babbu and also who want to see her have more than they ever did... they overcorrect but it's so earnest and i love them oh my god

PIKE SINGING LULLABIES!! HELP!!!! OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS

poor wilhand'ildan was fucked over for LIFE (sam and ashley are giggling as they ruin this fictional child's life it's hilarious) and i do think that would be SUCH a heavy burden, but the thought of vax'ildeux and wills being buddies........ that warms my heart sm. AND LIVING IN ZEPHRAH WITH AUNTIE KEEKS......... BLESSED

juniper <33 she has no idea how much drama her named caused LMAO

OH MY GOD THAT'S SUCH A CUTE IDEA THO ?!?! AWWWWWWWWW

thank you so much for these,,,,,,, heart full of warm happiness <33 thank you

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

anyway here are some random ass hcs about different cr characters who deserve/have stuffed animals because that's all I post about now apparently <3

One Barren Eve Veth gives all of the Nein a stuffed animal she hand picked for them. Of course Caleb gets a cat, Fjord gets a turtle, Beau gets an owl, Jester gets a unicorn, Yasha gets a dog, Caduceus gets a snake, and Kingsley gets a peacock. They're all super soft and adorable and very loved by their companions.

When Scanlan moves in with Pike and Grog, she gets the goliath a stuffed bear about her size because she's not going to be sleeping in his bed much anymore. Grog loves it, but it's not the same as his best buddy :(

Laudna gets Imogen a small plush horse after she tells her about Sugar and how much she misses her. Laudna dubs her Flour which Imogen thinks is just the sweetest and she's tiny enough to fit in her pocket all the time. Flour pretends to hate Pate but secretly has a crush on him, much to Laudna's delight.

Jester carries in her bag a stuffed duck she's has since she was a baby, she sleeps with it every night and after the Iron Shepherds, would sometimes just carry it in her arms so she wouldn't be so scared.

When Vesper is about three, she is very confused on why her mum and dad don't sleep with stuffed animals like she does and thinks it's very sad. So with her Auntie Cass she picks out plushies for them, a brown bear for mum and a polar bear for dad. Vex and Percy sleep with them every night after that because it makes Vesper sad when they don't.