#then a nat 1 on perception to pass

[teammightypen]

From episode 1: The Beginning Begins

Foreshadowing to Fabian’s Bad Day all the way back there. The dice like some irony.

[thisisnotthenerd]

and now the best battles of the intrepid heroes go head to head

feel free to give reasoning/propaganda as you like!

the sidequest poll

quick episode descriptions:

arcade ambush: fighting biz in the arcade. the failed perception checks. getting sucked in and out of the games. riz in the palimpsest. beating a nat 20 in the box of doom. shooting off biz's fingers on the count of three.

broadway brawl: the show must go on. misty having the performance of a lifetime. queen titania. i may be little but i am fierce. esther in the rafters. don confetti. ricky, naked, bodyrolling on misty. stephen sondheim riding a bear. subduing titania with a waist trainer.

blast from the passed: after the trial for gorthalax. completely indecipherable battle. bill seacaster kills gilear. johnny spells can't get a word in edgewise. statistically i have just a good a chance at rolling good as any of you. toxic masculinity is dead, i dance now! riz is blasted off the ship into the iron city of dis.

boys' night (Roll20Con): just the lads, going to a party, where they are supremely uncool. extorting gilear for alcohol [uncle pappy's dag nasty rocket hooch] emergency poem for ragh and corey. stealth mode down the highway. chungledown bim is back. fabian falling under the car with the liquor. warping space time and going to the lan party.

deep bleu sea: peppermint batman is invisible in the darkness. primsy is attacked. jet sends stilton to the bottom of the ocean. shenanigan time. the boats sinking and shifting. cumulous appears. throwing the cheese marauders to induce a dexterity check. can i use swirlwarden to get back into the boat. annabelle in the yogurt

treachery at gramercy: fighting around the umbral engine. ricky's bat counterspell. pete surges twice. cody is a mounted combatant who read dante's inferno. tony simos is a crazy level 20 open hand monk. pete has subtle spell. ricky says tony get fucked and does 90 damage. kingston's spirits of the city. sofia stunning everyone. cody meets lucifer and makes a new contract. sofia pulls dale out of the past and into the present.

battle of the brands: the gang buys truly so much stuff. you are required to do a certain amount of drugs. barry is the angel of mercy. the sisters of the cosmic veil having a bikini party. taking kublacaine. we are the ball. barry taking brutus to the finals on a nat 20. nat 20 death save from aurora nebbins. margaret speaks to the plinth and then is down to 1 hit point. skip crits on the plinth. free teleportation shenanigans are not allowed. gunnie casts explosion. barry rapid shots the plinth and does product placement. operation slippery puppet. am i getting ocean's'd 11'd on my own fucking show? what the fuck is happening? a real son of a bitch is no more. sundry sidney has saved the dog!

terror on toy island: a soft little touch. mer-king's insect plague. no daddy. pib getting the little guys. i'm so fucking scared! the water surges around the mer-king. the terrible dogfish is here. daddy-meter is spinning. pinocchio crits to figure it out. pinocchio screaming to wake the dead. it has asthma! and another thing, with the eyes! you were about to instantly die. gerard is wearing full chain mail in the ocean.. rosamund & ylfa are swallowed. the sea witch shows up. murph causes a nat 20. call of destiny. rosamund gets the eye with a seven. i'm a lion in the water. pib's acrobatic crit. one v. one.

[togrowoldinv]

The Truth

Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

When Natasha is forced to go on a mission with you, you’re surprised by her behavior

Note: Brief mentions of violence, mostly yearning and fluff. Enjoy!

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 1, Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 2, Main Masterlist

Your relationship with Natasha Romanoff is what you would consider strained. When you joined the team, you felt like she immediately closed herself off from you. It upset you, seeing as she was the only other woman on the team.

But you tried not to take it personally. She’s the Black Widow. She doesn’t make friends. Or at least that’s the perception of her, but you thought maybe it would be different with you.

For a while, you tried to ask her to spend time together. Whether it was watching movies or playing games, Nat never accepted your invitations. Eventually you stopped asking all together.

So, today when you were told you’re going on a mission together you weren’t the least bit excited about it. A day and maybe night alone with Natasha wasn’t on your agenda.

But duty calls, so you got dressed and met Nat at her car. She drove you to the safe house where you were to spend the evening after the mission. That is if the stakeout ever ends.

Now, you sit next to Natasha on a stakeout. She keeps her head on a swivel, but she avoids your gaze. It’s getting late.

“I can take first watch,” you say, standing up and looking around the perimeter again.

“No. You sleep,” Nat says.

“Natasha, please. Just let me take first watch.”

Natasha shakes her head. She stands to face you fully.

“I’m the best suited to stay up,” Nat says matter of factly. “Go to sleep, y/n. Don’t fight me on this.”

“Fine,” you grumble.

You find a decent spot to lay down and sleep for a while. Before you know it, hours have passed. Natasha is in the same spot when you wake up.

“Did I miss anything?” You ask, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You glance at the watch on your wrist. “Nat, why did you let me sleep for 3 hours? We agreed one hour breaks.”

Natasha just shrugs. She keeps looking ahead.

“Your turn to sleep,” you say.

“I’m good,” Nat says.

You sigh and look her over. She seems normal but you can tell she’s tired.

“Whatever,” you brush it off.

Another few hours pass and Nat is still refusing to lay down, even when she feels herself drifting off to sleep while sitting up.

“Natasha, why won’t you just sleep?” You ask her. “Do you not trust me to keep watch?”

“It’s not like that,” Nat says.

“Then why? Because I can see how much you’re fighting sleep.”

Natasha shakes her head. She runs her hand over her face. You can see her breathe deeply.

“I’m just making sure you’re safe,” Nat admits.

“Do you not think I’m capable of protecting myself?” You ask her. Your words come out louder than they should.

“I’m more capable of protecting you,” is all she offers.

You feel yourself get angrier at her words. Of course you know she’s better than you, but you don’t want to admit that. And why does she care in the first place if she feels so indifferent about you?

“I don’t need you to protect me,” you say. “I’m a big girl. I can handle myself. And I can protect you in the process.”

“I know that,” Natasha says. “But I just-“

“What? Natasha, since I’ve met you you’ve wanted nothing to do with me! You go out of your way not to be around me. So don’t give me some bullshit about how you want to protect me when you don’t even like me!” You yell at her.

Next thing you know, Nat is moving forward and covering your mouth with her hand. You try to pull away, but she keeps a grip on you. She only nods in the direction of what you now see is the target.

Nat removes her hand from your face and leads the way around the corner to see more of the target. It’s an arms deal.

“I’m going to get closer. Watch my six,” Nat says.

You watch her back as she approaches the target. There’s no indication that they realize you’re there. Not until they see your shadow from behind a wall.

Natasha notices the men rushing towards where she had left you. She loses eyes on the target as she runs to defend you. She takes down five men, but not before one gets a shot at her.

A shot that was meant to hit you, but Natasha covered your body with hers.

“Nat! Hey, stay with me!” You shout at her as she lays on the ground. Her abdomen is bleeding profusely.

You try to stabilize the wound, but it doesn’t do much. Pulling her to a slightly safer spot, you call for help on comms.

“Natasha, you’re okay,” you say. She’s barely conscious.

“You have to get out of here,” Nat says. Her voice is barely there.

“No, I’m not leaving you,” you argue.

“Y/n,” she says. She reaches for your hand. You grip hers tightly. “Let me go. Save yourself.”

“No, Natasha,” you say firmly. “I’m staying with you.”

You can hear the people getting closer to you two, but you try not to think about it. There’s no way you can move her around and keep her alive. Your only choice is to fight.

“I can do this, Nat. I’ll protect you,” you say as you stand and face the door.

The men come in full force, but you shoot them down one by one.

“Nice job,” Natasha says once they’re all down. You kneel next to her again.

“Stay with me, Nat,” you say.

“Do you want to know why I wanted to protect you?” She asks. You nod. She coughs and blood seeps from her lips. “Because I love you.”

You’re too stunned to immediately reply. Natasha’s eyes close as she finally loses consciousness from the pain and bleeding.

Help eventually arrives but not before you take down more men all while trying to keep Nat alive.

It’s a whole day later when Natasha wakes up after surgery. You’re sitting by her bedside when her eyes open.

“Y/n?” She asks.

“Right here, Natasha.”

“You’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” you assure her.

She breathes out a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been a friend to you,” she says. “Or even a good teammate.”

“Don’t worry about it. I understand you were scared to get close to me. It’s okay,” you say. “You made up for it by taking a bullet for me.”

Natasha chuckles a little at that. She does feel like she had made up for it a little bit.

“Nat,” you begin. “What you said before you passed out, is it true?”

“It’s complicated,” Nat answers.

You look away from her, swallowing your hurt. You wanted it to be an immediate yes from her.

Natasha speaks again, “But I think it could be true. Once I get my head out of my ass and let you in.”

You look back to her and she’s wearing a soft smile. She reaches for your hand.

“I think it could be true too,” you say. “Thank you for saving me.”

“Anytime y/n,” Natasha replies.

You two sit together for a while as she recovers. And once she’s ready to go back to her floor, you sleep on her couch until she’s 100% healed.

And you do find love together. Forever and ever.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Making the note taker anxious

Context: One shot, we're from a super spy agency trying to stop the assassination of a king from Hydre that will cause global war if he dies. My character takes the job way too seriously. She's a kalashtar, but easily passes as human (so she blends in perfectly).

Me: I want to observe this table. 

DM: That's the kingdom of Ablis. The king is sitting with the other kings. There's the prince sitting there, a general, and a lieutenant. Roll perception. *Rolls REALLY well* 

DM: Alright, so the general is drunk from the booze. He's loudly complaining about the fact they're even at this event since they're at war. The lieutenant is trying to calm the general. The prince is busy writing in a book. As you pass you see that he's writing in a runic language. You're a monk right? 

Me: Yup. 

DM: You have no idea what this says. Uh *He rolls* the prince clocks you and gives you a nod in familiarity. 

Me: Insight. *Nat 4* 

DM: Hard to tell. 

Me: Oh no I've been found out.  He knows I'm a spy. 

Me: Our contact is around here right? 

DM: Yup.

Me: I ask him how many agents are here. 

DM: Just you four. 

Me (OOC): SO HE'S NOT ONE OF US?! HOW'D HE CATCH ME?!

Me: Only the prince is there? If we're going there I can't be seen. 

Player 1: Lol I love the fact he's freaking you out so much. 

Me: How can't I? She take her job super seriously. 

Me; OK! So we've got conspiracty between these two nations, this one is being threatened, and Ablis is so far staying out of everyone's way but I'm still suspicious of that prince. 

After the one shot. 

Me: Ok DM. WHAT DID HE CLOCK ABOUT ME? 

DM: Oh? Oh you're a kalashtar. So is he. 

Player 2: Honestly this is just getting better. New ship. 

Me: DON'T SHIP MY ANXIETY! 

[codenamemaximus]

The American Girl Time Loop Campaign (Session #1)

I was at my mom's house over the holidays and found Kit, my American Girl doll (for those who don't know, each doll has her own storyline, personality, etc.). I was talking to my friends about it and one thing led to another and I came up with the idea for a ttrpg where the players choose a doll and play as her through the campaign. I decided to make the strangest campaign that I could think of, here's how the first session went:

It's important to note that nobody involved knew anything about AG before this campaign. We met one-on-one to pick their characters. They chose Samantha, Nellie, and Julie

Each character was yoinked from their timeline and woke up in an unassuming conference room

Samantha and Nellie are best friends in AG canon and the people playing them chose to play as best friends for this reason, so of course I had to interfere with that by pulling them out of separate points in the timeline. Samantha comes from 1905, she has met Nellie but barely knows her. Nellie comes from the end of their storyline, after both her parents have died of the 1905 flu and after she has been adopted by Samantha's family. So Nellie thinks of Samantha as a sister and Samantha barely knows her. Julie was pulled from an anti-Vietnam War protest

They wake up in the conference room and Nellie immediately throws a chair through a window

This alerts a security guard, who bursts into the room holding his baton

Nellie kicks him in the shins

The security guard tries to restrain Nellie, he crit fails, Nellie tries (and fails) to punch him in the nuts

Samantha hits him in the head and gets some really good rolls, knocks him to the ground

The girls run out, Nellie kicks him in the nuts on the way out

Samantha runs back and steals the security guard's nightstick while he's still down

They make it out of the building. Samantha steals a playboy off the security guard's desk and is horrified by what she sees

The three girls examine the magazine, Julie gives an anti-porn lecture in the style of the second-wave feminists of her era. Sam and Nellie don't know what porn is, Julie tries to explain it to them (they did not act out this exchange)

Julie tries to look around, she fails her perception check

Nellie tries to look around, she reads a sign on a building saying "Texas School Book Depository" and points it out to the rest of the group

Julie passes a history check and remembers that Lee Harvey Oswald was in the TSBD when he shot JFK

Entire party freaks out

"Are we the magic bullet?!?"

Sam and Nellie are freaked out because they're in the future, Julie is freaked out because she's in the past and also because of The Kennedy Assassination

The girls take a minute to explain the years they were all taken from, Nellie realizes why Samantha has been so rude to her

Julie attempts to explain the Kennedy Assassination to Sam and Nellie, she is moderately successful

The three girls travel to the TSBD, where they encounter secretary who is NOT in the mood to deal with children that day

Samantha distracts the secretary by doing a trick with the baton while Nellie sneaks up to the sixth floor

Nellie finds a man and tells him that she needs his help to save Teddy Roosevelt

The man is confused, Nellie clarifies that she's talking about John Kennedy

The man gets flustered "Why would anyone want to shoot the president?"

"... I didn't say shoot."

Time for Nellie to roll initiative. But first, let's go back downstairs

Julie gets fed up with the secretary and attacks her, the two girls run upstairs with the secretary hot on their trail

Upstairs, Nellie kicks Lee Harvey Oswald in the balls, he slaps her back, doing a fair bit of damage

Sam and Julie arrive, followed by the secretary

Julie kicks LHO in the head and rolls a nat 20, he locks himself into a nearby office

Samantha uses this move on the secretary and knocks her down. The secretary hits her head on a table while falling down and almost dies, but before she can take her last breaths...

... They wake up in the conference room again

I'm excited for our next session

[litlunacy]

Finding it endlessly hilarious how different mine and my little sib's playthroughs are going. My drow druid has the perception perk and sees through everyone's bullshit, but has a -1 to intelligence and rarely passes an arcana roll check. Bear's dragonborn mage (warlock or sorc one, can't remember) has no perception and keeps falling for traps but is actually intelligent enough to play with magic artifacts.

But the funniest thing so far is that Marika (my drow) caught on to Astarion's bs at his introduction and just kinda raised an eyebrow at him and his little knife life 'bitch, what're you tryna pull here?' Whereas Bear's dragonborn failed the perception check, got knocked on his ass with a knife to his throat, and then tried to headbutt Astarion off of him only to roll a nat-fucking-ONE on that check.

Buddy. You are a massive half dragon man. You have horns and spikes all over your face. How can you fail so badly at headbutting?!

[vikings-til-valhalla]

Too gay for his own good

So we were on a mission to do a heist. Hafgrim went to look for escape routes, and he rolled perception.

Nat 1, and his gay ass found a sexy man.

So, I rolled intelligence since he's a relatively smart guy, to focus back on the mission.

Nat 1. Hafgrim was HEAD OVER HEELS for this sexy man, and decided to flirt. With persuasion, he rolled.

Nat 1 AGAIN!!! Hafgrim frothing at the mouth, he made the man run away screaming as the viking asked for a drink.

Everyone laughing, I rolled perception one last time, and got a nat 1 AGAIN!!!!!!! Four nat 1s in a row.

Hafgrim was fucking losing it.

We decided to roll a d2 to see if the guy came back. The DM rolled a 1, meaning sexyman returned. Hafgrim rolled intelligence one last time, got a fucking nat 20.

So he, with all his force of will, convinced his poor gay self not to go back to the man. A cart came by, and like a dramatic scene in the movie, he was gone when the cart finished passing through.

Now, Hafgrim is unable to stop thinking of his perfect man, and the DM is making me roll a d100 every in game day until reaching 100+, and make hilarious remarks about him until then, or he will lower my attack rolls.

[umihoshi]

My fave nat 20 moments (part 1)

our team was in a big town. one of our friends had died and we were there to report it to his parents. My human monk feral daughter liked him a lot, so she wasn't in a great mood. the town had this shady district, and our dumbass warlock tiefling, stranger to the world, got curious and went over there. On the edge of the shady district, there was a kobold. he was pretty creepy and pushy, trying to sell our warlock drugs. She was creeped out and fled. My monk followed to get her princess ass back, passed the same kobold, got annoyed with him, but passed him in favor of finding out lost princess.

returning back there with said warlock, we once again saw the kobold, our DM doing some skit of how annoying this guy was. Warlock girl was scared of him, so my monk about had it. some days before, our now dead friend was chased by guards and we had to hide him. my monk has an 11 charisma, so despite believing she might, seduction failed on both the guys. Hurt in her pride, she took some potatoes from a barrel and tossed them at the guards. in this process, she stashed some potatoes in her bag.

So there my monk was, a creepy drugseller, a scared best friend, tired of a long day angsting in our dramatic campaign. so naturally, she took out a potato and threw it at the kobold to make him back off.... 'roll to hit', our DM said. 'Nat 20', I replied in bafflement to waste a 20 on some street kobold.

the kobold was bleeding from the head. mad as hell. called out his gang of fellow street kobolds to fight us. We were just with the 2 of us, level 3, she had just gotten her astral arms. inexperienced players, we didn't really know how to go about these random battles yet. So we killed the reinforcement kobolds (something I found out later would be our modus operati. our warlock is now known as the child killer) Drug kobold escaped, we thought we'd seen the last of him.

I kinda apologized to the team for my nat 20, having started a fight like that. and the session went on. Some time later, my monk was walking around town with our new bard/warlock human/tiefling (yes, that's one person. his previous character died at level 2 and so he wanted to make the DM suffer... (we get rly attached to our characters, really fast, really easy)) DM asks the 2 of us to throw a random perception. we both suck. Before we know it, we're both surrounded in a surprise attack by like 6 kobolds. we both go K.O., get kidnapped, the rest has to come safe us. in the kobold hide out, stuff was dark, so some had disadvantage on attacks and we really had to fight hard to survive. more kobolds died. drug kobold escaped again.

MONTHS LATER, a friend of ours joined the campaign, playing a cute little paladin...... a kobold paladin OuO and we found out that he was the brother of drug kobold (drug kobold's name was now Sticks) Finding it hilarious that he had become part of someone's background now, we moved on. EVEN LATER, we find out that our dear little drugselling tramp Sticks had joined the villains organization... worked his way up to high ranks... and was very much out for our lives, even if it included his baby brother..... BECAUSE I HAD THROWN A POTATO TOO HARD!! (and consequently murdered out his gang, but who's keeping track, really?)

So next time you decide to swing a potato at some enemy, do consider: am I prepared for this random field battle to become my lifelong nemesis?

[nagalias-mindscape]

DM: As you enter the room, your senses are assaulted by the smell of decaying flesh and petrichor. The sunlight is almost too much to bare for each of you, having been stuck under ground for so long. The walls of bubbling mold continue to shift and constrict as you step into the room itself. You all are now standing at the entrance to the room, backs to the hallway you just left. Would you like to do anything?

P1: Nar’s going to check for traps.

DM: Explain to me how Nar will check for traps.

P1: Slowly, he’ll go through the room, watching where he’s stepping and visually checking for anything that might be covered by the mold- no touching it. Nar has learned his lesson from Rutho’s mistake.

DM: Very well. Give me a… you know what, give me a perception check followed by an insight check.

P1: Perception 18 and Insight 7.

DM: As Nar makes his way through the room, he sees nothing that gives him pause, but he can’t help but feel like something is wrong. Something… off, with each step he takes into the room.

P1: Well, this whole place has been like that. Nar calls back to the party and invites them to come further into the room as long as they’re careful.

DM: No sooner does Nar finish speaking, does the doorway everyone had entered through become sealed and the bubbling mold on the walls and floor begin to pulse violently and erupt in a shower of spores. Everyone give me a... what'd I write down, con save? One sec... yeah, it's a con save.

*Everyone rolls. Highest was an 18, lowest as a 12.

DM: Alright, Nar, Rutho and Zalen, you're fine as you rolled higher than a 15. Everyone else, however, roll initiatives. Medli, give me an arcana and insight check instead.

Me: Imp’s got a 13 for initiative. Arcana’s a 6 and insight is a glorious nat 1.

DM: Ooh... well, all Medli is certain of is that she just she just heard something burst and fill her with a desire for- wait. Did you roll your imps con save? He's in the room, right?

Me: Yeah, uh... no. One sec. Um, he failed with a 9.

DM: Alright. There went that escape. All Medli is certain of is that she heard something burst, and her imp is now telling her to attack things- a desire that she finds herself having, too, but doesn't stop to think about why it might be. Roll initiative for yourself.

Me: 17.

DM: Alright, everyone. It's the rest of the party against Nar, Rutho, and Zalen. Good luck

--- --- ---

Please note that Rutho (sorcerer with a proficiency in arcana) was able to figure out what the heck was going on eventually and managed to deal with it. The spores were only slightly involved in the mess. They apparently were screwing with perception and hiding the now-glowing magic-flowers that were emitting waves of something (almost everyone failed their arcana checks on that damn flower) that were making the party hostile to anyone who succeeded a con save, which was required to be made at the top of the round.

Which also changed who was attacking who. Every round. There are seven of us in this group. At no point did everyone pass their con save. At no point did less than two people fail their saves. At no point did the fighter / barbarian pass with saves.

The DM thought it hilarious that the imp kept failing its saves, too, thus making Medli (who saved quite a few times) attack her allies (newly blind, relying on the imp to let it do things involving sight) while they said NOTHING about who she was attacking. Mind you, Medli isn't a light hitter. 1d10+1 to damage and a disadvantaged +4 to hit. She was missing quite a lot (average to hit roll was around an 8, and the lowest AC rating was a 12), but most critically, Medli did get a few lucky shots in with a double nat 20... which was not pleasant for poor ol' Nar... the rouge.

The rouge who was on the floor right next to Medli because they got pushed backwards and knocked prone, and thus took the full 12 damage instead of halving it. I almost killed the rouge, which would have not been fun or good.

[isaacathom]

im now having devin and naielle have a fight bc i think its funny

mechanically, i mean. im just writing down this shit. this assumes an area full of like, idk, pillars to hide behind and shit.

for reference, Devin is a 2/7 Rogue/Whispers Bard, and Naielle is a 9 Celestial Warlock. devins hp is 32, naielles is 80, and crucially, naielle's passive perception is 16. Devin's is a 14.

Initiatives - Devin 22, Naielle 4

Round 1:

Devin - Casts Confusion on Naielle (wis save, dc 16). Naielle does not pass (10). Devin then moves back and bonus action Hides (22)

Naielle - rolls 7 on Confusion table, does nothing. end of turn, reattempts save, fails (7).

Round 2:

Devin - Devin goes for the Shortbow shot. 11/15 hits Naielle. 1d6+3+1d6 sneak + 3d6 psychic (psychic blades feature). 1+3+4+15 for a total of 23 damage. Naielle is on 57 HP. Devin repositions and hides again (nat 20 for 31)

Naielle - Naielle rolls 2 on confusion :(. reattempts wisdom save - a 24 will pass.

Round 3:

Devin - Shortbow shot part 2. a 14/26 will hit Naielle, so another 1d6+3+1d6+3d6. 3+3+6+12 for 24 damage, Naielle is at 33 hp. She will reposition and hide again (20)

Naielle - Naielle will burn 5/10 of her bonus action healing to regain 23 hp (56). For her action, she will cast invisibility and move in a random direction to try and find Devin. (i rolled a d8 for devin determing what cardinal direction she is (7) and rolled one for naielle (5) - Naielle does not walk past Devin.). As part of being invisible, she makes a stealth check - 7 :(.

Round 4:

Devin - Hypnotic Pattern centered on where she heard Naielle. wis save, dc16. Naielle is resistant to charm - 9 and 19. Devin fuckinnnnn books it, Hides again (26)

Naielle - She would've seen the direction Devin went (but not exactly where), so she heads that direction and does an active search. a 25 does not beat Devin's stealth. Her own stealth check from movement - 21 (beats Devin's passive)

Round 5:

Devin - she's gonna try Hypnotic again, estimating a mid point between where she cast it last time and herself. im gonna roll a flat d20 to see if she hits naielle, 1-10 no 11-20 yes. She does not. Predictably, she fucking runs again - a 17 stealth. HOWEVER. because Naielle was heading in her direction and saw the approximate area she hid, im gonna apply a -2, which means she does NOT beat Naielle's Passive.

Naielle - Naielle's gonna position herself to have an angle on Devin (half cover, we'll say). Guiding Bolt. Nat 20 :) Devin reacts to impose disadvantage with silvery barbs, which gets just a 24(-2). Devin takes 30+5/2 (aasimar) for 17 radiant total - Devin's on 15 HP.

Round 6:

Devin - She's gonna cast Blindness/Deafness. Naielle Nat 20s. Devin repositions and Hides again (24(-2 again tho))

Naielle - Heads in Devin's direction and active searches - an 18 doesn't find Devin.

Round 7:

Devin - Phantasmal Force on Naielle to try and trick her into seeing a pit of lava. Naielle passes the int save with an 18. Devin forces a reroll using Silvery Barbs - a 15 fails. Naielle is in lava, which 'burns' her (1 Psychic - Naielle at 55). Guess what time it is. 17 Stealth to hide - no -2 because naielle's Panicking.

Naielle - Naielle terrifiedly Dimension Doors out of the pit of lava, and im gonna be a little weirdo and do a int check to see if she is smart enough to position herself well tactically. Nope. She just yeets out, breathes a fucking sigh of relief, and continues to move in Devin's ~general direction~.

Round 8:

Devin - Shortbow time, fuck it, fuck this. a uh, 10/12 does not hit AC. She books it again - 18 Stealth, -2 matching Passive (so i think she succeeds lol)

Naielle - :) Active search - dirty 20. She advances, babes.

Round 9:

Devin - Shortbow time again. 9 doesnt hit. Keep running Devin! 23 Stealth (this is a trend)

Naielle - Active search, 12 doesnt find. General direction

Round 10:

Dev - shortbow. 10/26 hits. 1d6+3+1d6+3d6 - 5+3+4+12 = 24. Naielle is on 31 Hp. 15 stealth fails.

Naielle - :) Eldritch Blast x2. 11 misses. 18 hits. 9 force damage. (Devin is at 6 HP). Bonus action Healing 9 hp (40).

Round 11:

Devin - Invisibility, reposition right round the fucking back of naielle. stealth for 21.

Naielle - Active Search. 13.

Round 12:

Devin - this is getting ridiculous. FROM DOWNTOWN! 26/15 will hit. 1d6+3+1d6+3d6 - 4+3+6+7 = 20. Naielle on 20. Hide check 28.

Naielle - Bonus heal with her last 3 dice - 8. (28). Active check, 10.

Round 13:

Devin - :) 19/13 hits. her last bardic inspiration, too. 1d6+3+1d6+3d6 - 2+3+4+8 = 17. Naielle on 11. Hide check 22.

Naielle - :) Fuck. Hail Mary Eldritch Blasts. 18/28 hits, devin forces a reroll of the 18 - 19. Naielle Hits. 1d10+5 - 7. Devin goes down. Naielle wins.

Now. a) that took like 2 hrs, i really thought this would be quicker, and b) half way through i remembered that Naielle had counterspell, which would have completely nullified Devin's opening gambit. if i were to run this tomorrow Remembering that, AND remembering that Naielle has Hellish Rebuke, then. well. Devin's toast :)

[bushs-world]

How is everyone? I hope everybody's safe from the virus. Here's my analysis for episode 5

Ep 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Ep 5: Self Loathing and Hatred

Episode 5 was so full of Lokis that even our Loki needed a break from the constant Loki. Also owing to the huge amount of Loki in this episode of Loki, I will be referring our Loki as Loki, other Lokis have their own unique Loki name afterall ( looks like I am high 🙄 ). I will also make separate posts about Classic Loki's development.

Anyways, keeping the gibberish aside, Loki had already passed the hero threshold in the previous episode. So, in this episode, he isn't actually displaying any flaw himself. Instead each of his variants act like a mirror to allow him to see his behaviour from an outside perspective.

Loki's deepest insecurity

Loki's deepest insecurity is his self loathing. The voice at the back of his head constantly telling him he is not good enough. If we strip down every one of Loki's bad deeds in the MCU, they all be traced back to his self loathing. He wants the throne to win his father's approval to stop his loathing, he wants to be seen as Thor's equal to stop his self loathing. After Odin's 'no', he tries to take over Earth to prove himself in order to feel worthy and not like a loser.

All this because Loki considers himself to be unworthy and lacking. He doesn't value and even hates his own individual traits and gifts. This insecurity is further amplified once he learns of his heritage. In Thor, he calls himself the monster people tell their children about at night. His entire monologue with Nat in Avengers can be interpreted as him projecting his self loathing on Nat. In TDW, he says 'See you in Hel, Monster'. All this shows, Loki didn't have a high opinion of himself. And in this episode, one of his variant showcases his self loathing on a surface level

Loki vs Classic Loki

Loki and Classic Loki are parallels of each other. Both are variants of the OG timeline Loki from two pivotal moments of his life. And both showcase two very different perceptions about being a Loki.

While Loki is on a journey of healing and self love, and has started coming to terms with himself, Classic Loki completely gave in to his self loathing and has been dismissive about both himself and Loki variants in general all throughout the episode.

He stayed in isolation for a long time because he believed he is only a bearer of pain and death. He mocks the Loki like behaviour of being too sensitive. He thinks every single Loki is an animal who is broken and can never change.

And his purpose in this episode is to act as the personification of Loki's self loathing. Whenever Loki attempts something, Classic Loki is the first to chide or discourage him. When Loki suggests planning to escape the void, he counters by reminding him about all the other variants who came with stupid plans just like him that don't go anywhere. He tells Loki that they only have one job to be the god of outcasts. He laughs along with others at Loki's plan to kill Alioth.

Yet Loki doesn't let anything stop him. He refuses to accept Classic Loki's idea of being a Loki and gets up to leave the alleyway. Instead, he uses Sylvie as an example to show they can be different. He even convinces both Classic Loki and Kid Loki to help him kill Alioth and take down the TVA. In the end, Classic Loki sacrifices himself to help Loki and Sylvie enchant Alioth. In a poetic way, the one Loki who felt Lokis can never grow and change, gives his life to help his other variant become a better version of himself.

And that's the analysis for Episode 5. Adios!

[jewishgir]

>dnd session today

>we're breaking into mansion to stop an evil warlock

>town is overrun with her minions, we have to make our way to the mansion stealthily

>me, gnome cleric and the dragonborn bard decide to go through the alleyways while the rest of the party goes via the rooftops

>we both roll a nat 1 on our stealth checks (first roll of my new dice) attracting a dozen guards

>I start furiously making out with the bard. my character is 3 feet tall and the dragonborn is over 6 feet. DM describes it "like a dude making out with a plushie"

>we both pass our deception checks, the guards disperse horrified.

>next stealth check. we both roll nat 1. at the same time. again.

>a dozen more guards close in on us

>I start screaming "YOU SLEPT WITH MY SISTER!" and he shoots back "I SLEPT WITH ALL FOUR OF THEM!"

>we succeed on deception again. one of the guards mumbles "all four of them?" as they all disperse once more

>me and the bard swear to never speak of this again

>DM asks us to roll a perception check

>I succeed, bard fails

>I look up at the rooftop to see the elf ranger who has seen the whole thing. I make a throat slit gesture at her. she makes a heart shape with her hands and skips away

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 3

Let’s Split Up and Look for Clues! 

Welcome back to the Seven and the Museum of Adventuring. My previous pronouncement of combat was a little premature but hold tight, we’ll get there. For now, we’re back with Antiope who just saw a glimpse of the Ending of Things (aka, Ending) and is freaking out a bit. She tells the others and they all do various checks to see what they can find out.

Ostentatia casts Commune With City and clocks that there is some kind of abjuration shield magic on the government buildings in town, stopping them from being spied on. She also clocks some lingering undead-ish magic and a weird divination effect on Antiope, specifically on the Aguefort logo of her jacket, like someone scryed on her and just got that she had something to do with Aguefort. At this, Penny reminds her that the only true piece of info they gave Ending when they broke her out is that they were from Aguefort.

Sam with a 19 Insight still feels the connection she and Ant have with Ending because of their spells turned against them in the initial encounter. Yelle does a Perception check (27) and once again doesn’t really get bad, dreadful, menacing vibes. But also, she recognizes that she’s chill with a lot of things most people don’t love. 

Antiope reiterates that she texted Charity that she’s interested in the internship so she can learn more info--even better now that they know the buildings are safe from scrying. Yelle remembers Aguefort’s warning about people watching them and Sam asks Zelda if her “weird boyfriend” (“he’s actually really cool”) is friends with the elven oracle. Zelda says yeah, they’re both friends with Adaine, she can ask about any weird divination stuff. Sam makes sure to specify she should look into TK but NOT Ending, no doubt remembering what happened when she tried to do a spell on her. 

It’s been a big day as Zelda says so they all go to the TGIF-esque Slappy McFinnigans to celebrate (which Sam has problems with--the fact that they’re celebrating I mean, but she’s mainly ignored). They’re quickly kicked out because Katja can’t help herself from trying to brush the mane of their centaur server and they reconvene at the more their speed SlamBurger, where a horse can fully destroy a soda machine to absolutely zero reaction.  Zelda says that Ostentatia was right in that they should all do the quest because it doesn’t close any doors and they have the 2 weeks to figure things out. They all seem a bit more on the same page (though Sam is still pretty frosty towards Ant) and start making plans.

Before they leave, Yelle pulls aside Ant and Sam and says hey, first of all, you two are still linked to Ending from before. Second of all, I know y’all are Going Through It right now and you don’t have to talk about it or make up right away but you need to get your heads in the game and you need to know that you’re both loved and still family. 

Penny, Zelda, Katja, and Ostentatia go back to the museum to try and get more information for their quest. Katja goes to the information desk (horse in tow, of course) and just starts asking information about TK. She’s told that she’s one of the museum’s benefactors and has been missing for years, and hey, do you understand that a museum’s info desk is about where the water fountains and exhibits are, not just random information about the world?

Ostentatia bails her out by calling her over so she can do her plan which is just to walk into the back area like she owns the place. Now, Aguefort students do have a certain level of clearance to be back there and she does have her school ID. But instead of explaining that, she tried to use her Earrings of Diamond Charm to charm the employee she runs into which fails. And then she does a pretty good tag-team lie with Katja about how they NEED to pass a class but that doesn’t fly. Then Ostentatia tries flirting which ALSO doesn’t work. Zelda at this point steps in and just headbuts the dude so they can book it away. I personally would have gone with, “Do you know who we are? We killed the dragon that’s your current main exhibit,” but you know. No backseat adventuring. 

While this is happening, Penny is stealthing like a pro, looking for anything Arcana related. Ostentatia and Katja also did checks (O getting a nat 20) and we’ll go through all their info gathered now. 

Katja basically gets info on TK we kind of already knew. She was a benefactor of the museum. She’s centuries old like Aguefort. She was concerned with consciousness and divinity and specifically how will and divine will manifested, as well as elemental magic.  

Ostentatia gets a lot of info with her Nat 20. She gets a full map to the temple where TK went which is called the Temple of Earth Defiant. The point of the temple is that it’s up in the open air and harsh winds--wind being a symbol of chaos and unpredictability to dwarves--but they still use it as a place to honor their heroes and they rebuild and upkeep it despite the erosion and how hard it is to get there. It’s hallowed from evil and lots of stories about it involve heroes racing there for sanctuary. It was made by dwarves but it’s a pilgrimage site for other primordial beings like goliaths and earth genasi (which is what TK is). There are 3 heroes who have big statues here: Asha Hammerheart (a SUPER dope name I must say), Yvonna of the Sundering Hills , and Kora Ironbrow.

Penny finds that, amongst Kalvaxus’s hoard there were 7 unrecovered artifacts--the Mirrors of the Eidolons (which are the smashed mirrors they found it seems). Eidelons are kind of like the elemental plane version of angels/celestials. They’re primordial (remember Katja saw primordial language on the wall of the dragon cave) and kind of aligned with things like titans and genies. Raw element with no agenda (unlike celestials and demons and such which have a clear alignment which makes up the D&D religious system). It is said by wizards--who look at these things in more of a nuts and bolts way than say clerics who take the fuzzier religions view--that Eidolons are the hands of the gods because gods are beings of spirit--how could they form the physical world. Will of the divine manifested by elemental beings? Sounds right up TK’s alley.

Sam decides she’s desperate enough for information that she calls her mom who she is understandably snippy with. Her mom gives her a contact to talk to when she asks about TK but Sam stonewalls her on show business talk. She tries to play the “mother knows best, you’ll thank me later,” in a kind of Gothel-y way while acting like anything in the past never happened and says Sam is attacking her but when Sam accuses her of neglect, she proves her right by hanging up the phone.

Sam then calls the number and it turns out to be Lola Embers (Fig’s agent) who has been waiting for Sam’s call for ages and wants to talk to her, even though she’s currently chasing her dog across the park. She says she met TK once at a genasi woman networking thing and also says she once saw Charity get into an argument with TK over government funding or not getting a grant or something similar. She then says she’s in a lake trying to get her dog and Sam, being a water genasi who can breathe underwater and also a fundamentally good person even though she’s currently being aggro as hell, goes to the park to help her. Lola assures her that if she’s ready, she’ll help her get new acting gigs and that the world is ready for the new her. 

Yelle meanwhile casts Speak With Plants on some trees near TK’s office and, after a super stoner to stoner conversation, gets a magical footprint trail of where she ran off to when she absconded 12 years ago. 

Antiope (who is in a sports bra because she destroyed her top with the Aguefort logo since that’s what was pinged, revealing in a wild, nat-1 fueled retcon that she got a tramp stamp reading “Leader” in the Red Waste) goes to see Charity to fill out some paperwork, ingratiate herself, and perhaps get some info. Charity has her hot, young, assistant (who Antiope is instantly crushing on) give Ant his shirt (and Charity’s lack of surprise at seeing his 4 horses pulling a chariot tattoo makes the group think they’re def banging). She kind of explains what the Ministry does and Antiope boils it down a bit to snitching on other adventurers. Charity says it’s more of a who watches the watchmen situation and visibly twitches when she has to say the word “snitch”. 

When she takes a second to call Antiope’s dad, she accidentally leaves a tab open on her computer which has TK’s file open (probably up from when the Maidens asked about her earlier). Antiope sneaks a peek and learns that the artifact that TK stole is called the Legendarium Extrodia and it tracks quests. It seems that at some point TK must have had top level access to get her hands on it. It also shows that TK was marked for assassination (which seems like a pretty good reason to get the heck out of dodge). Brennan also says she’s learned enough that she can use the L.E. if she finds it. 

At this point, Yelle tells everyone to come back ASAP so they can follow the magic footsteps. Antiope wants to come but doesn’t want to burn bridges with Charity (or chances with Preston--equally important) so she, at Katja’s suggestion--pretends to have diarrhea and is Nat 20 convincing. Interesting choice for the end of the first meeting with a person you’re crushing on. But Preston is actually pretty supportive as she races out the door as fast as possible.

The Seven follow the footsteps out of Solace and it becomes clear that TK was headed to the dwarven temple Ostentatia learned about. This is a multi-day journey so Cinnamon sings a glorious, magical, horse song and summons mounts for everyone which I will now name because this is obviously the most important part of the episode:

Snowfire - Danielle

Taffodill - Sam

Alagonia - Antiope

Candyheart - Penny

Starforge - Ostentatia 

Strawberry Dancer - Zelda 

Crucial info. 

As they travel, Antiope casts Primeval Awareness and gets that there is something ancient in the mountain. They travel through Pilgrim’s Pass (a village area most travelers to the temple pass through) but find it completely razed to the ground. They investigate. 

With an 18 Survival check, Antiope finds tracks that seem halfway between dog and cat. There are more than 4 legs and it’s hard to tell how old they are because there’s not a lot of rain in the area. They could have been left long ago and been undisturbed. Regardless, these are clearly from monstrosities. On a 26 History Check, Katja knows that this area used to be protected by Blink Dogs (teleporting dogs) but they seem to be all gone now. On a 22 Nature check, Yelle sees a weird feather made out of plant material. It seems like fae stuff but bad vibes. On an 18 Insight check, Sam knows this was a purposeful slaughter.

And on Penny’s 30 Arcana check, oh boy. Penny finds broken common scrawled on the wall in human blood talking about a queen of the mountain who rules the skies. That only the queen may see and none may see themselves. And that the people were told to destroy the seeing glass and did not obey. In from of that message is a bear hide covering something magic. Penny lifts it with reckless abandon and sees tons of mirror shards.

Friendship bracelets! She thinks.

Gotcha bitch, the thing in the mirror says.

Uh-oh.   

Penny calls over her friends to let them knows she may have made a tiny mistake. The group is pretty split between, “Understandable,” and “Girl, WHAT?” In her defense, she did try to cast Friends on the person on the other side of the mirror shards but that’s not enough to stop an entire pack of 50-60 Displacer Beast (magic tentacle cats)/Blink Dog hybrid monstrosities along with the Harpy Queen (voice from the mirror) and her plant feathered harpy minions to start rapidly making their way to their location. 

It is at this point that Ostentatia remembers that abominations and monstrosities cannot step into the temple which means it’s time to RUN. 

And NOW it’s combat time. 

The premise of this fight is that the girls are on their horses, moving towards the center of the temple as fast as they can while fending off the closest enemies. I won’t give an exact play by play but the two highlights are as follows:

Yelle conjures up a bunch of geese with raptor stats (...so normal geese) to swarm the head cat/dog abomination and has to do a truly stunning amount of math for which she is rewarded with SEVENTY POINTS OF DAMAGE. 

Antiope does some insane arrow trickery and gets the Queen Harpy in the wing (which Ostentatia helpfully gets on video so she can show Preston later) and then forces her to take damage as she falls. If not for an extremely lucky Box of Doom nat 20, she may have been down for the count. Antiope still comes away with more than FIFTY points of damage on her though. 

And we end the episode mid-combat! We will catch up on our girls next time!

Superlatives 

Penny: Most Likely to Make Friends During a Hostage Situation 

As a companion to Danielle’s superlative last episode, Penny gets this award for reading or misreading every situation as an opportunity to make friends or make friendship bracelets for the ones she already has. 

Random Thoughts

Did you guys notice that with Katja having Cinnamon and Charity’s assistant being Preston, that’s two of the main pet NPCs from A Crown of Candy?

Antiope’s Reaction to Yelle Saying That Maybe Things Ending Isn’t So Bad: Rail against the dying of the light! Why are you OK with this?

Penny’s Reaction to Yelle Saying That Maybe Things Ending Isn’t So Bad: Entropy is TERRIBLE! Everything needs order!

The greasy cashier’s response to Ostentatia’s flirty, “Come here often?” is “To my job? Honestly no.” Brennan? Chef’s kiss. 

My other fave line this episode is from Sam. “I believe Cinnamon fucks.”

It’s very cute that Penny is like, “I gotta text Riz about this Eidelon stuff!” Not because she wants help. Just so they can geek out together. 

The joke that Brennan didn’t think about the birds is so funny considering all the bird facts in Misfits.

Also re Birds attacking: “They made a movie about this Brennan!” 

Good on Ant for refusing an Aguefort sweatshirt from Charity when offered after the little scrying incident before. Remembering things like this saves lives. 

It has been brought up several times that Ending isn’t necessarily Bad just Ancient and Powerful and I trust Yelle’s vibe check but also, like, a forest fire doesn’t have malice behind it but it can still devastate a city while it clears out dead trees that need to be cleared, you know? Not ready to start wild speculation yet but I am curious. And am similarly curious about the sisters Ending has mentioned. Oh and the parallels of 7 Maidens, 7 mirrors. It’s all there, we just need a little more info. 

Honestly, get you a man who will see you rushing out of a building, loudly claiming to have diarrhea, and instead of being grosses out will just supportively confess his own stomach issues. I wish he was just a little younger cause I want that for Ant. 

I do like that D20 has been playing a little more fast and loose with the RP ep/combat ep format. I think it really helps with story flow. 

In this episode Antiope and Brennan as various non-Zelda NPCs rolled 2 Nat 20s. O rolled one. Ant rolled 1 Nat 1--which was on a self imposed roll to see how she responded to Sephie’s tramp stamp improv. And O may have rolled one for initiative also but I wasn’t sure. 

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Adventures of Doug, the unconventional goliath barbarian

Me: Doug will volunteer to take watch!

DM: Cool. Doing anything during watch. 

Me: I got some wood carving tools, I'll try to carve a new totem.

DM: Are you focusing on your watch more or the wood carving?

Me: *Sweating* I know how I'm suppose to answer. 

Player 1 (cleric/mom friend): DOUG!

Me: .... 

Player 1: DOUG DON'T YOU DARE!

Me: The wood carving. 

Player 1: God damn it Doug!

DM: Alright Doug, roll perception with disadvantage, and I dunno slight of hand with advantage? 

Me: Ok got a nice 2 for perception, that minus two isn't helpful but I did get a 16 for slight of hand!

DM: Great. Roll dex check with disadvantage. 

Me: Wait does the alert feat help me here?

DM: Scatch that someone is about to shoot you. 

Me: Did my totem get finished? I want a wolf one please!

DM: Sure you rolled well enough. 

Me: Great! I go into a rage with my new wolf totem which give me advantage on melee attack on creatures 5 feet from me. May I pretty please go smash them into oblivion? 

DM: God damn it I need to remember to check your sheet more often. 

Me: :D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *Later* We're at a tavern. 

DM: Ok Doug, wisdom check. 

Me: Shit. Uh Hey I got a 15!

DM: Good new you passed. You do suffer 17 points of psychic damage. 

Me: Ouch.

Player 2 (Rogue): Wait aren't you resistant to everything? 

Me: Kind of, only when raging with the bear and I'm weak to psychic.

DM: Should have raised that wisdom stat.

Me: It's fineeeeeee. Anyway can I someone try and figure out who hit me?

DM: Arcana check. 

Me: Oh sureeeeee the goliath barbarian can totally-- that's a nat 19 plus two is 21! 

DM: Oh. Wasn't expecting that. Yeah, dude at the bar is giving you an annoyed look. 

Me: Great! I'm going to the bar. Apologize to the bartender then rage with bear and start to beat this guy up. 

Player 3 (wizard): YOU HAVE A PLUS TWO INTELLIGENCE? WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT THAT IN WISDOM?

Me: IT'S FINE IT'S ONLY PSYCHIC DAMAGE!

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

Paul Shaw *Supporting character

Voice Claim: (Donald Sutherland) https://youtu.be/Lo64OHWtpyA?t=173

Partner(s): Widowed.  (Norah Willow Shaw) Parents: Bernadette and John Shaw (no longer living) Kids: Congo Shaw. Age: 80 (2021) Birthday: 18th of September. Height: 184cm (6ft) Body type: Slim but with a belly. Eye color: Dark blue. About: Loyal, Patient, Kind, Considerate, Warm, Calm, Friendly, Helpful, Compassionate, Neat, Forgiving, Genuine, Hearty, Logical, Perceptive, Modest, Responsible, Tolerant, Optimistic and Rational. ~ Retired carpenter. ~ Sexuality: Straight. ~ Lost his wife when their son was just a teen. ~ Is a very loyal man, so never re-married or even dated after her passing. ~ Still loves his wife, still misses her, but it’s with a loving warmth. No sadness. ~ Used to live on a mountain majority of his life, being down from that mountain, has been quite a life change, but a welcomed one, as he’s now closer to friends/family and most importantly his son. ~ Is a very warm and nurturing person, always looking out for people around him. ~ Always ready with a helping hand. ~ Likes to do as much gardening as his body can keep up with. ~ Very good cook. ~ Great at baking as well. ~ Smells like: Warm earthy tones. ~ Still carves a bit of wood here and there when he wants to relax in his garden. ~ Plays a lot of chess and is pretty good at it. ~ Enjoys board games in general. ~ Doesn’t watch much tv beside a black and white movie here and there. ~ Reads a lot of news paper and books on the other hand. ~ Enjoys fishing with his son. ~ Was always extremely accepting and supportive of his gay son, and loves him dearly. ~ His favorite holiday is Christmas, and he always does his best for everyone to have a cozy time. ~ Is actually pretty good at sewing by hand. ~ Considers adopting a dog. ~ Has a very calming and uplifting nature. ~ Is such a nature person, he always prefers to be outside instead of in. ~ Absolutely adores his grandchildren, and would like more. ~ Also adores his sons husbands/partners, although his favorite is Andy. ~ Plays mouth harmonica really well. ~ Loves: His son, his family/friends, cooking, baking, hiking - specially in forests, Autumn, wood work/carpentry, board games, coffee, Cognac, Whiskey, smoked meat, bonfires, sunrise, dogs, home baked pies, kids, turtles, forest animals, horses, mountains, camping (although he’s getting too old for it), roast duck, celery, blackberry marmalade, his fireplace, cinnamon, Bay leaf, warm blankets, family time and warm hugs. ~ His style is: As casual as possible while still looking stylish (for his own term) ~ Always up for reading a book/story loud, to listening ears.

Paul’s tag Paul’s house/home Paul’s moodboard Handwriting/ask answer pic:

One song to describe him: Nat King Cole - Unforgettable Personal Playlist: 1. Billie Holiday - All of Me 2. Dean Martin - Everybody Loves Somebody 3. Ella Fitzgerald - How High The Moon 4. Frank Sinatra - My Funny Valentine 5. Andy Williams - Moon River 6. Bing Crosby - Swinging On A Star 7. Doris Day - Que Sera, Sera 8. Nat King Cole -  The Very Thought Of You 9. Mildred Bailey - Thanks for the Memory 10. Miles Davis - So What 11. Peggy Lee - It's A Good Day 12. Nat King Cole - Nature Boy 13. Patsy Cline - Walkin' After Midnight 14. Kay Kyser (Harry Babbitt & Ginny Simms, vocal) - Chatterbox 15. Etta James - At Last

[hale-13]

Caved In

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 10 - Trapped

Despite Peter’s obvious enthusiasm to join missions, Tony tends to keep him away as much as possible. But this is just a simple raid of a defunct. There’s no trouble the kid can get into here right?

Words: 2534, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandom: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanov

TW: Medical Procedures, Claustrophobia

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

Tony coughs himself awake, the mask of the Iron Man suit cracked nearly down the middle and crumbling at the edges, gaping holes allowing for dust and debris to trickle in. His cough is dry and unpleasant but causes only a small twinge of discomfort in his chest and, beyond the minimal aches and pains that come from the regular wear and tear of trying to be a superhero in his late forties, he feels pretty solid.

“FRI?” He croaks, coughing dryly again on the end and trying to clear his throat. “You up honey?”

His comm that connects him to the rest of his team and his AI is worryingly silent for a three count before FRIDAY’s pleasant Irish lilt says “Here Boss,” with only a small amount of static. Score.

“Thank God,” he breathes out. “Status report.”

“It appears someone activated the self-destruct sequence,” she offers helpfully, a broken layout of the HYDRA base they were raiding popping up on his HUD, only partially visible due to the fractured mask but it gives Tony plenty of info.

“How’s the rest of the team?” Tony asks, still lying on his back and making no effort to move yet. He feels okay considering the situation but he doesn’t want to waste energy until he has to. “Why is my comm muted?”

“The collapse damaged the transmitter,” FRIDAY explains. “I have sent in a distress signal and pinged your location,” Tony lets out a relieved sigh that gets caught in his throat when his AI reports, “All Avengers accounted for except for Spider-Man.”

“Vitals FRI,” Tony says, a little frantic and struggling to sit up now around the dizziness that surely means a concussion. “Where’s the kid?”

“The suit is approximately thirty feet to your left,” FRIDAY tells him, marking it on the blueprint still in the corner of his HUD with a blinking blue dot. “Karen is offline so I’m unable to get vitals,” she tells him regretfully as he groans and rolls onto his hands and knees. The floor starts to rotate under him and he has to take a few deep breaths to control his nausea before he feels like he can crawl through the mess of concrete around him in the direction of Peter.

With FRIDAY’s help, Tony is easily able to navigate through the rough patches on his way to Peter and, though his comm is broken, she is able to relay rescue info from Nat. So far they don’t have much idea on how long its going to take and Tony can already feel his heart beating too fast in worry.

“The kid’s fine,” he tells himself firmly. “He’s okay.”

When he comes across Peter about a minute later he is, decidedly, not okay. His right leg up to mid-thigh is trapped under a large slab of concrete and he’s unmoving except for the stuttering of his chest and the wet sounds of his breathing. Tony’s heart beats ever faster when he notices how wet the suit is around Peter’s trapped thigh and the oddly shaped protrusion that surely indicates a compound fracture.

“Fuck,” he curses, settling next to Peter’s head on his knees and carefully removing the torn mask from his face. Peter is pale under the spandex, a bruise high on his cheekbone and his nose crooked and bleeding – clearly broken again – but he’s breathing and seems otherwise alright. “Up and at’em Petey,” Tony says, patting Peter’s unmanaged cheek softly with two fingers until his eyes scrunch up and crack open.

“Hey man,” Peter slurs, a lopsided dopey grin pulling up the corners of his mouth and his pupils obviously uneven as he looks up at Tony. “Come here often?”

“Oh yeah,” Tony tells him with an eye roll. “Love hanging out in decrepit buildings, you know me.”

Peter snots out a laugh and then winces, a hand coming up to probe at his nose. “Ouchies,” he mumbles, sounding a little nasally. Tony bats his hand away from his face.

“You’re not wrong,” he agrees, pressing a hand to Peter’s chest to keep him from sitting up. “Let’s just take it easy for a bit until the rest of the team busts us out okay kiddo?”

Peter frowns at him, his eyebrows pulling together in an expression that would be adorably confused if Tony wasn’t internally freaking out a little over their situation. Peter looks woozy and out of it from his concussion but the kid has always been pretty perceptive and Tony doesn’t say anything as he does an obvious full body check, gasping in pain almost immediately. “Mr. Stark?”

“You’re alright,” Tony reassures, trying to defuse the situation before it even becomes a situation. “Nothing we can’t fix. You’re just a little… confined until Nat can figure out how to get us out.”

Peter looks unconvinced and he has a tinge of panic on his face – leftover claustrophobia from getting trapped under a warehouse Tony knows – but he gulps and takes a few deep breaths to relax himself. “How long?”

“Whatcha got for me FRI? Any ETA on our imminent rescue?” Tony asks, one hand rubbing through Peter’s sweaty, messy curls and the other tapping on the side of his mask over the comm impatiently. He tries to hold in his grimace when she reports back that it may be a couple of hours for Peter’s sake and, instead, smiles down at him, only half his mouth visible through the cracked mask. He opens his mouth to lie through his teeth but Peter rolls his eyes before Tony has the chance.

“You know I have enhanced hearing right?” He questions pointedly, taking the wind out of Tony’s sails before he can even talk.

“Yeah alright,” the man agrees with a shrug. “It’s going to be a bit before they get here.”

Peter squirms a little uncomfortably, letting out a hiss when he jostles his leg, eyes crossing and sweat breaking out across his forehead at the pain and Tony feels his chest clench in sympathy. “Can you uh…” Peter starts, gulping and squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, tears of pain popping up in the corners but stubbornly not falling. “Can you distract me?”

“Did I ever tell you about that time in college when Rhodey and I got blitzed on cheap vodka and flooded the laundry room with foam before our engineering final?” Peter lets out a little hysterical laugh and shakes his head ‘no’. “Well settle in because it’s a doozy. So it all started around ten in the morning in the fountain at the student center…”

Tony had plenty of stories about his and Rhodey’s misadventures through undergrad but he was really running out of semi-appropriate tales he could spin by the time the clock in the corner of his HUD had passed three hours. Peter, stubborn and ever the trooper, had stayed awake and cooperated every time had harassed him to keep the kid coherent. The shifting of concrete was definitely getting closer now.

Peter, however, had continued to steadily decline since Tony had found him. The wound in his thigh where the bone had punctured the skin but, miraculously, not the suit had continued to bleed steadily to the point that Tony had cut a hole in the tightly woven carbon and spandex fibers around Peter’s leg so that he could staunch the bleeding with specially made nano-particles. This had, unfortunately, clearly been a bandaid on a bullet wound situation.

Peter had steadily paled until his face was greyed around the edges and clammy. His hands were shaking and, since he wasn’t able to thermoregulate well and shiver, could only be from shock. The situation was quickly becoming dire and Tony knew he wasn’t doing such a stellar job of hiding his reservations anymore.

“Get me an update FRI,” he ground out, one hand moving methodically through Peter’s flat curls, overworked by how much Tony had been basically petting him for the past few hours. The kid’s brown eyes, half-lidded, flickered up to look at him and some quiet conversation passed between the two of them before Peter broke eye contact with a weary blink.

“Rescue is imminent Boss,” the AI reported. “Maybe fifteen minutes.”

“Here that Pete?” Tony asked, trying for bright but falling short. “Fifteen minutes. We can do that right?”

“Sure,” Peter mumbled, his own voice hoarse from coughing up dust and a little blood sneaking its way onto his lips when he wet them. His teeth were stained red and Tony could feel his heart stutter at the sight. He hated nothing more than being useless and that’s all he was right now. “Fifteen minutes. No problem.”

“Tell them to hurry it up,” Tony hissed into his comm before hitting the emergency release on his suit and peeling it off. Peter’s eyes were hazy and confused, a frown pulling his pale lips down as he watched.

“You can’t,” he said, fingers twitching in the direction of the defunct suit. “Need to be protected.”

“I’m fine kiddo,” Tony promised, moving them around until Peter’s head rested in Tony’s lap instead of on the ground. “We’re almost out; nothing’s going to happen.” Peter’s eyes narrowed but he clearly didn’t have the energy to argue further, letting his lids flutter shut and stay closed. Tony shook him none too gently to rouse him, heart aching at Peter’s low whine of pain and betrayal. “Stay awake for me Webs. Just a little longer.”

“I’m really tired,” Peter muttered, eyes blinking rapidly as he tried to keep them open. “Just a little nap. Please?”

“No can do,” Tony said, feeling on the verge or tears, running his thumb carefully over the bruises under Peter’s eye and up to his temple to gently massage it. “No sleeping until Bruce gives permission. He’s a stickler about these things.”

Peter hummed, his mouth pulling down at the corners. “Sorry Mr. Stark,” he whispered, his eyes closing and his speech starting to slur. “I don’t think I can.”

And then, terrifyingly, he went completely boneless in Tony’s lap.

“No!” Tony nearly screamed, shaking Peter as carefully as he could. “You need to wake up right now Peter I’m serious!” But Peter’s head just lolled to the side, his face and jaw slack and his skin, somehow, even paler than before. “FRI get them here now! I don’t care what it takes, Peter needs out!”

“Tony!” A voice echoed through the cavern not even a second later and Tony felt tears of relief prickling his eyes.

“Here!” He called back, sniffing hard. “About time you got down here!”

Moments later the dusty forms of Steve and Sam pushed their way into the small space that Tony and Peter had been occupying, dragging a stretcher and a bag of medical equipment behind them.

“Shit,” Steve breathed, taking them both in before hustling over to lift the concrete off of Peter’s leg.

“Stop!” Sam said, trying to body block him in the cramped space and having little success but Cap stopped nonetheless. “He could have compartment syndrome. You move that before I place a tourniquet and you could kill him!” Steve turned white and moved back, holding his hands up in surrender. “Tony you need to take the suit and get out.”

“Like hell!” He protested, bearing his teeth and gripping Peter’s shoulders possessively only to have his hands batted away so Sam could get Peter’s pulse.

“You’re in the way,” Sam explained firmly as he pulled the medical bag over and began to wrap the tourniquet tightly around Peter’s upper thigh making the kid gasp in his sleep but not wake up. “You can trust me with him,” Sam promised, making brief eye contact before getting back to his work. “I promise that I’ll take care of him for you but you have to let me help him and I can’t do that when you’re in the way.”

Tony let out a choking sound that he would never admit was a sob and covered his mouth. “That’s my kid Wilson,” he said, voice firm. “I’m trusting you with him.” Sam nodded solemnly and Steve just watched them both with a wounded expression. Tony ignored all this and bent down to press a feather-light kiss to Peter’s hair line before squeezing his eyes shut and doing the hardest thing he’s ever had to do – leave Peter alone.

“Tony,” Bruce said, relieved, when Tony emerged from the hole that the team had dug up. The man was shirtless and in his Hulk shorts, hands shaky and tired but looking alert and ready to do what he could to help them. “Where’s Peter?”

“Cap and Sam are getting him,” Tony said, feeling a little shaky and shell-shocked himself, not noticing he was swaying until Natasha ducked under his right arm to help steady him. “He um. His leg got trapped under dome of the rubble. It’s broken and he’s lost a lot of blood.” Tony explained, allowing Nat to guide him to sit on some of the surrounding debris.

“It’s okay,” Bruce soothed, bending down and grabbing Tony’s wrist to take his pulse with a frown before prodding at a couple of the tender spots on his head that made Tony wince. “We can fix it. I have blood on the jet and we’re only an hour out from the nearest SHIELD base with a full medical staff. He’s going to be fine.”

Tony nodded compulsively and submitted himself to Bruce’s exam, watching the hole intently until Cap emerged, carrying half of the stretcher with Sam following closely behind supporting the other half.

Things became a bit of a blur from there for Tony. Nat held him back from getting in the way of Bruce and Sam treating Peter and assisted him onto the jet and into a seat near the head of the gurney they had moved the kid to. Peter was still passed out, his hair and face covered in dust but he was getting a little color back in his face once Sam started the blood transfusion.

“What’s the verdict?” Steve asked, leaning against the wall and only his finger twitching showing how worried he was, taking the words right out of Tony’s mouth.

“He has a good prognosis,” Bruce reported, looking at the X-ray FRIDAY had taken and sent to his tablet. “He’ll need surgery to reset the bone but you know how quick he heals. I suspect he’ll be begging to get back in the saddle by the end of the week tops,” a collective exhale of relief passed through the team and Tony dropped his head into his hands.

“Thank you,” he said, voice thick with emotion, stumbling over to stand at the head of the bed and run soft fingers down the side of Peter’s peaceful face. This was enough excitement for a while, Tony decided, he and the kid would need to sit out the next few missions and take an actual break. Pepper had been looking at a cabin on a lake as a possible summer home and Tony couldn’t think of a better way to recuperate than sitting on the ample porch in the warm weather with his family.