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somethingforsenro · 2 months

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splatoon without the splatoon

(the splatoon franchise without the new squidbeak splatoon)

so, i was scrolling through amino, the world's worst social media platform, when i found a very interesting question:

What would happen if the Squidbeak Splatoon disbanded after taking down Octavio during the events of Splatoon 1? Would that change anything down the road?

well, i looked at the comments and saw people basically all agreeing that it would be a complete and utter apocalypse. the world would end, like, three times over.

but if there's one thing i know about the internet, it's that people are stubborn little buggers who'll find their way around just about anything. so, i don't think that's right. i think life would find a way.

here's why.

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first of all, octo expansion wouldn't happen bc agent 3 wouldn't be there to fight eight before the dlc's start. in fact, eight might not be freed at all, because we know that only happened AFTER callie was brainwashed (just look at callie's mem cake in oe) and therefore happened during splatoon 2. i say ‘might not’ for a good reason, which i'll get to in a minute.

anyway, no 10008 means that tartar wouldn't find the perfect subject (at least, not with eight) and his plan would be delayed for the foreseeable future. that means octo expansion wouldn't happen, or at least wouldn't happen so soon; if it did eventually happen nonetheless, it's possible that the oe-equivalent protagonist of that timeline would find another way to stop tartar's plans, so i would hesitate to say that inkopolis is doomed in this scenario. i'll talk about that more in a minute, but first, let's get back to that ‘might not’ from earlier and have a chat about hero mode 2.

okay, hot take: even without squidbeak, i think callie would STILL be rescued either way, and the squid sisters would still perform the spicy calamari inkantation. squidbeak or no squidbeak, it's not like marie's just going to stand back and LET her cousin be kidnapped, and she still would have all the same information she does in the normal timeline. (we know that no one was around to help her when callie got kidnapped, so she figured it all out on her own.) she would still recruit agent four to help her (although she wouldn't give them that title or the agent uniform), and they would still rescue callie, so that happens more or less the same way.

however, cap'n cuttlefish and three still wouldn't be out there to fight octarians, so i still don't think oe would happen either way. that also means eight never loses their memories, never becomes a test subject, and never meets pearl or marina. even if you subscribe to the "agent eight is a clone/lab engineered" theory, then they would just wake up alone in the metro, be inducted as 10008, and then… (imho) not be special at all, because eight is only so successful through the help of pearl, marina, and cap'n cuttlefish, and pearl+marina only contact eight through the cap'n's phone. so, eight would still be a test subject, but probably wouldn't be exceptional.

but let's say you disagree. let's say they still WERE exceptional. well, then – they would just get blended and added to the ooze, at which point tartar would presumably create the perfect lifeforms as he planned. but since there's no eight escaping to the surface, he wouldn't have to resort to taking all the ooze he worked for 12,000 years to create and immediately blasting it out of the cannon. i theorize that he would invade inkopolis with the "Perfected Sanitized Army" first, and only use the mega death cannon as a last resort/when he's about to win, at which point pearl and marina would probably have figured out what was going on and take action on their own, eight or no eight.

so, all told, i don't think the world ends in splatoon 2. splatoon 3? well… let's have a look.

no cuttlefish means new 3 never checks out the manhole. there's no heroes looking for the great zapfish. so, the world is totally screwed, right? WRONG.

y'see, there is at least ONE person who exists independently of squidbeak, who also is an enemy of grizz from the start. ONE person who has ALSO lost something dear to them because of the bear's schemes, and who knew to go to the Crater and investigate more deeply. that person is none other than DJ fucking Octavio.

grizz stole his army, so he went to the crater – so CLEARLY he knew WHERE his troops went, he just didn't know who took them. in our timeline, he thought squidbeak did it, but here, because squidbeak doesn't exist, he knows there's something else afoot. he would take the refurbished octobot king out there, and because new 3 isn't clearing out the stages, he would see his fuzzified troops in full force crawling all over the crater. and octavio would be PISSED as HELL.

so, i theorize that octavio would be the protagonist of this alternate return of the mammalians. he would fight to free his people, fall/break into alterna, and beat up deep cut. he might humor them and give them the "treasure", he might not – if he didn't, they wouldn't show up to help him later on, but… that doesn't really matter.

either way, he'd eventually make it to the rocket, and just like in the original timeline, he'd go to space to fight grizz for the sake of his army and the entire world as he knew it. it would be a lot more drawn-out, but i think octavio COULD have taken grizz on his own, especially with the added motivation and anger he has in this timeline. so i say octavio beats grizz to a pulp, and the world is saved.

now, all that leaves is side order, so…

side order spoilers ahead. proceed with caution.

· i can only make one read more,

· so have this nice little

· fancy divider!

side order might still happen, because it's focused on pearl and marina, who aren't affected by the whole squidbeak thing. EDIT: however, as comments are reminding me, the memverse was made to cure sanitization. no oe means no experience with sanitization, no memverse, and no side order. if you think some variant of oe would still happen in the 6.5 years between s2 and side order, and pearl+marina would still be involved, then adapt accordingly.

but EVEN IF side order happened, because agent eight doesn't exist (or never met them, at least), there would be no side order protagonist. but – and this is gonna sound familiar at this point – that doesn't NECESSARILY mean order prevails, just that the fight is closer and takes a lot longer.

acht was fighting on their own before eight and pearl came. in OUR timeline, pearl spent a while trying to wake eight up while acht fought and got injured in the spire. but here, she doesn't have anyone to wait on, so she goes straight to the spire of order. it's possible, i think, for her to catch acht BEFORE their injury, and to give them the dualies and her support (after a confused argument, at least). i think acht could then beat the spire with pearl's help, freeing marina, and the rest would go on basically just like the dlc.

however, that one is DEFINITELY the most situational. there's no guarantee that pearl would be fast enough, and if acht WAS injured regardless, there wouldn't be anything to stop order. in that case, it would probably stay in control of marina for a lot longer, at least until acht healed (which could take weeks or even months).

even in THAT situation, acht would still eventually get back into fighting shape. but would they be too late to save marina? it's definitely possible. however, we DO know that greyscaling is reversible – eight managed it. so, it's POSSIBLE that they could free marina, even in THIS timeline.

and even if they COULDN'T free marina, they could still free (almost) everyone else. marina would be gone, but they would most likely be able to take down order EVENTUALLY, if much slower.

the only real killstate there is if order managed to greyscale acht and pearl. and if you ask me, the two of them seemed pretty fine and dandy the whole time, especially pearl – i mean, this is MARINA'S simulation, after all, so she WOULD give the people she cared about some level of protection or even enhanced access. (acht might even be able to hack into the simulation a little, although she wouldn't be nearly as cracked at it as marina is.)

so, i don't think order would succeed either way – although it might permanently greyscale a considerable number of people, including marina and possibly four. (remember, marie still recruits four's help, even if she doesn't technically call them agent four. they wouldn't be called agent four, but they still exist.)

so, that's definitely a bit more dire than in the main timeline, at least – but far from apocalyptic, i'd say.

…except for pearl. pearl would be pretty fucked up.

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shebsart · 1 year

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Im sick with flu so naturally I picked up my newly bought copy of Howl's Moving Castle which includes DWJ interviews in the back.

And im in love with the way she tells these stories feels like a part of her books.

And my favorite:

The magic in the mundane :)

edit: I'm copying the ID by @princess-of-purple-prose below, thank you!

[ID: Excerpts of printed text which read:

I suppose there's also a biographical element in that Sophie is the eldest of three sisters, and so am I. The idea for Sophie grew out of the time I discovered I had a very severe milk allergy. I almost lost the use of my legs and had to walk with the aid of a stick. I was moderately young, but because of this I suddenly became old.

I had to wait until I knew what Wizard Howl was like. I began to discover Howl about the time when one of my sons took to spending several hours in the bathroom every morning and I got really, really, really annoyed with him.

Where were you when you wrote it? I wrote the book the way I write everything, stretched out on the big sofa in my sitting room, in everyone's way. This often annoys my husband rather a lot.

which made me burst out laughing. I laughed and laughed at the seven league boot, and when I came to the bit where Sophie accidentally makes Howl's suit twenty times too big for him, I laughed so much that I fell off the sofa. My husband was really irritated by this time. He snapped, "You can't be making yourself laugh!" And I gasped, "But I am, I am!" and rolled about on the floor.

Are any of your relatives or friends included in the book? Yes, well the thing that started me off writing the book was a friend of mine who never does her laundry. She has it around the place in huge bags for often as much as a year. When she does tip it all out and try to wash it, she discovers all sorts of clothes that she has forgotten she had.

Which is your favourite part of the book and why? I like the book all over, but I suppose if I had to choose a bit, I'd choose the place where Howl gets a cold. It so happened that when I was writing this bit, my husband caught a bad cold. He is the world's most histrionic cold catcher. He moans, he coughs, he piles on the pathos, he makes strange noises, he blows his nose exactly like a bassoon in a tunnel, he demands bacon sandwiches at all hours, and he is liable to appear (usually wrapped in someone else's dressing gown) at any time, announcing that he is dying of neglect and boredom. So all I had to do was write it down. End ID]

#howl's moving castle #hmc #hmc book #diana wynne jones #i havent seen some of these before and its a delight #not art #wow i didnt expect this to get so many notes lol #all the people in the tags who decided to read the book because of this post <3<3<3

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