#there are no compromising pictures of me on the internet and believe me i have done my fair share of questionable things

[favoritetab]

i've been reflecting a lot about how much i've posted about myself online over the past 16 or so years that i've been publicly online and i have to say i've grown so much. no full name, no publicly shared address, no posting my location in real-time, not many selfies, no nudes circulating around. i've taken pretty good care for my safety and digital footprint, honestly i am really proud of that!

[jennyboom21]

In 2023 actor Sophia Bush made headlines when she filed for divorce one year after a storybook wedding. By the fall it was public knowledge that she was in a new relationship. With a woman. The internet seemed to be foaming at the digital mouth for a scandal, but to those who knew her, it was clear she’d never been more herself. Here, in her own words, Bush speaks to the power of finally learning to listen to her intuition.

In April of 2022 I was close to calling off my wedding. Instead of running away, I doubled down on being a model wife. In 2023 my now ex-husband posted a lovely tribute to our first anniversary on Instagram. When I saw it, I felt the blood drain from my face. Fans and friends were telling me how exciting this milestone was and how happy I looked. I felt nothing. Things hadn’t been easy at home, but everyone says marriage is hard, right? As the day wore on, I felt mounting pressure from strangers online waiting for me to post something—what a strange part of public life to have to navigate—so I sat myself down and chose a picture.

It was a black-and-white photograph of us running away from the camera. Yes, I see the bittersweet irony now. I wrote a really nice story about the people in that picture. Except it was just that: a story. I typed something about how incredibly happy I was and tried to drown out the familiar voice in my head. Make it look easy. Make it look perfect. If your smile is shiny enough, maybe no one will notice that up close all of your teeth are broken. But sometimes broken is just broken.

I hit post. And then I walked into the bathroom and threw up.

I believe in people and ideas so deeply—and those feelings are often so powerful to me—that I hadn’t realized I’d spent the last two decades moving through life showing up for others but often turning my back on myself. This time things felt different. Maybe it’s just cold feet, I told myself. Maybe I was too sensitive. Maybe this was the feeling you get when you settle down later in life and have to make space for another person. There have been moments in my life when it feels like the universe is screaming at me to pay attention. This was one of them, but I didn’t listen.

I kept repeating the adages we all know so well: Relationships are hard. Marriage takes compromise. You know the rest. And so I got married. We threw one of the greatest wedding weekends ever. We had an amazing time with our closest friends and family. It was truly one of the best parties I’ve ever been to, and we raised a ton of money for charity. I don’t regret any of that.

But after the wedding I found myself in the depths and heartbreak of the fertility process, which was the most clarifying experience of my life. It feels like society is finally making space for brutally honest conversations about how hard and painful any fertility journey is, but I kept mine private. I was trying to get through months of endless ultrasounds, hormone shots, so many blood draws that I have scar tissue in my veins, and retrieval after retrieval, while simultaneously realizing the person I had chosen to be my partner didn’t necessarily speak the same emotional language I did.

As I lost track of how many examination tables I had lain on alone, I felt something in me seismically shift. Six months into that journey, I think I knew deep down that I absolutely had made a mistake. It would take my head and heart a while longer to understand what my bones already knew.

And that’s why, when I got an opportunity to do a play in London, I had to go. I had to get out of our house. I had to get onstage. I had to get back in my body. Maybe that could shift things. Maybe that would jump-start the joy I’d been chasing. The play slowly began to put me back together. It was grueling, and it was also the most exhilarating experience. I loved every second of it.

But the book doesn’t lie. The body does, in fact, keep the score. When half of our company went down with a virus, everyone recovered fast except for me. I continued to decline. I would put every fiber of my being into my performance onstage, and then be packed in bags of ice as soon as the curtain closed. I spent multiple nights in the hospital, I was pumped with endless amounts of fluids, I underwent cardiac testing and organ monitoring. It was clear that my body was screaming and I had to listen. It was hard for me to accept. I was part of a team. But I needed to go home, where my doctors (and, truthfully, my health insurance) could get a better handle on my symptoms. My time in London was over. So was my marriage. It all came crashing down at once.

During the summer of 2023, I moved back into my empty home in LA. I was separated and preparing to file for divorce, and groups of women in my life started opening up about issues they were going through in their own homes. It seemed like every week there were more of us, including [former US soccer player] Ashlyn [Harris], whom I’d first met in 2019 and who was in the process of figuring out her own split from her wife. She’d been such a kind ear for those of us who opened up about our problems during a shared weekend of speaking engagements at a fancy conference in Cannes, and soon it became clear that she needed our ears too.

For those of us who had no solution in sight or Hail Marys left, having this community changed everything. We really wrapped one another up in support. It was tragic and hard. But it was also beautiful. There were moments of incredible sadness because no one signs up to get married thinking it’ll end. The days when we knew people needed to laugh, we sent inspirational memes and silly TikToks. We read books written by great therapists and shared emo quotes from poets. Our “Begin Again” Amazon shopping list, which we created for the ones moving out and starting over, has now been forwarded to so many other women.

I didn’t expect to find love in this support system. I don’t know how else to say it other than: I didn’t see it until I saw it. And I think it’s very easy not to see something that’s been in front of your face for a long time when you’d never looked at it as an option and you had never been looked at as an option. What I saw was a friend with her big, happy life. And now I know she thought the same thing about me.

It really took other people in our safe support bubble pointing out to me how we’d finish each other’s sentences or be deeply affected by the same things. When you’re so in the trenches of hardship—plus you have the added weight of having to go through it on a public stage—it can be hard to see anything but what’s right in front of you.

It took me confronting a lot of things, what felt like countless sessions of therapy, and some prodding from loved ones, but eventually I asked Ashlyn to have a non-friend-group hang to talk about it.

And that meal was four and a half hours long and truly one of the most surreal experiences of my life thus far. In hindsight, maybe it all had to happen slowly and then suddenly all at once. Maybe it was all fated. Maybe it really is a version of invisible string theory. I don’t really know. But I do know that for a sparkly moment I felt like maybe the universe had been conspiring for me. And that feeling that I have in my bones is one I’ll hold on to no matter where things go from here.

But there was a lot that quickly turned ugly too. People looking in from the outside weren’t privy to just how much time it took, how many painful conversations were had. A lot of effort was made to be graceful with other people’s processing, their time and obligations, and their feelings. What felt like seconds after I started to see what was in front of me, the online rumor mill began to spit in the ugliest ways. There were blatant lies. Violent threats. There were accusations of being a home-wrecker. The ones who said I’d left my ex because I suddenly realized I wanted to be with women—my partners have known what I’m into for as long as I have (so that’s not it, y’all, sorry!).

The idea that I left my marriage based on some hysterical rendezvous—that, to be crystal-clear, never happened—rather than having taken over a year to do the most soul crushing work of my life? Rather than realizing I had to be the most vulnerable I’ve ever been, on a public stage, despite being terrified to my core? It feels brutal. Just because I didn’t want to process my realizations in real time on social media and spell them out for the world doesn’t mean the journey wasn’t long and thoughtful and exhaustive.

It’s painful to be doing deep work and have it picked apart by clueless strangers. Everyone that matters to me knows what’s true and what isn’t. But even still there’s a part of me that’s a ferocious defender, who wants to correct the record piece by piece. But my better self, with her earned patience, has to sit back and ask, What’s the fucking point? For who? For internet trolls? No, thank you. I’ll spend my precious time doing things I love instead.

I don’t believe it’s my place to discuss details of Ashlyn’s circumstances or her children, but I will say that I am absolutely in awe of her relentless integrity. The way she prioritizes and centers her kids, not only in her life but in the core of her being, is breathtaking to behold. Falling in love with her has sutured some of my own childhood wounds, and made me so much closer to my own mother. Seeing Ashlyn choose to not simply survive, but thrive, for her babies has been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed a friend do. And now I get to love her. How lucky am I?

I sort of hate the notion of having to come out in 2024. But I’m deeply aware that we are having this conversation in a year when we’re seeing the most aggressive attacks on the LGBTQIA+ community in modern history. There were more than 500 anti-LGBTQIA+ bills proposed in state legislatures in 2023, so for that reason I want to give the act of coming out the respect and honor it deserves. I’ve experienced so much safety, respect, and love in the queer community, as an ally all of my life, that, as I came into myself, I already felt it was my home. I think I’ve always known that my sexuality exists on a spectrum. Right now I think the word that best defines it is queer. I can’t say it without smiling, actually. And that feels pretty great.

Would I have liked to make the public part of this journey a choice for myself, and not have it taken from my lips and set ablaze by gossip blogs and bottom-feeder online bots? Of course. I’m very aware, though, as we discuss bullying and harassment and being outed without consent—that I’m incredibly lucky this happened in my adulthood. I really love who I am, at this age and in this moment. I’m so lucky that my parents, having spent time with Ash over the holidays, said, “Well, this finally looks right.” I know it could have gone differently.

We’ve all learned about kids who have taken their own life after being outed or who have been killed simply for being who they are in a place or time that is threatened by their expressed joy. I am so lucky to be here, now. I have real joy. It took me 41 years to get here. And while I marvel at it, I will also make space for people’s pain. But I will not carry anyone’s projected shame. When I take stock of the last few years, I can tell you that I have never operated out of more integrity in my life. I hope that’s clear enough for everyone speculating out there, while being as gentle as I possibly can be.

After the news became public, my mom told me that one of her friends called her and said, “Well, this can’t be true. I mean, your daughter isn’t gay.” My mom felt that it was obvious, from the way her friend emphasized the word, that she meant it judgmentally. And you know what my mom said? “Oh honey, I think she’s pretty gay. And she’s happy.”

I finally feel like I can breathe. I don't think I can explain how profound that is. I feel like I was wearing a weighted vest for who knows how long. I hadn’t realized how heavy it was until I finally just put it down. This might sound crazy—but I think other people in trauma recovery will get it—I am taking deep breaths again. I can feel my legs and feet. I can feel my feet in my shoes right now. It makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time.

It is so, so scary to do the brave thing, to say, “I’m just not happy.” Especially if you’re in a partnership and you have to say it first. But if you do it, you get the chance to be happy. To find your joy. I turned 41 last summer, amid all of this, and I heard the words I was saying to my best friend as they came out of my mouth. “I feel like this is my first birthday,” I told her. This year was my very first birthday.

[lillyspeakz]

You don’t have to pick or choose a side if you don't want to or if one side is giving you too much stress. I'm neutral leaning towards Wilbur - mainly because of all the hatred and harassment the internet lynch mob threw his way - but I think that they both sucked at handling their relationship. 

Wilbur probably has bitten Shelby more than what she was comfortable with and he himself said that he wasn’t the best boyfriend, but I highly doubt that Shelby is the innocent, perfect-angel picture of a girlfriend that she portrayed herself to be given some of the stuff she said and actions she did during all this. I wouldn’t be surprised if she exaggerated some stuff about their relationship or misremembered some things as well as some other things that I won't get into but still rubbed me the wrong way. 

I don’t like Shelby (I do not hate her but I don’t think I’ll ever like her) but I do hope that she heals and move on - the same goes for Wilbur. I want them both to heal and improve.

I think they had a mutually toxic, dysfunctional relationship layered with misunderstanding and miscommunication that they couldn't solve or couldn't create compromises on. 

You are not a bad person for choosing a side, you are only a bad person if you harass or attack others over what side they chose or their opinion. How others treat you is a reflection of them, not you, or vice-versa how you treat others is a reflection of you, not them. And I believe that I can say with confidence, you are not a bad person.

(Sorry for the rant.)

Ok who ever this is, I love you so much. Thank you for this. I have no hate or bad intentions toward Shelby supporters, but it just sucks when people dismiss others opinions and don’t listen to reasonings. So that’s why I just- it sucks when people dismiss others feelings.

And I do agree with you. Both of them were toxic in some way, they were not in a good relationship, and just the understanding of the situation flew out the window. And I feel like it got out of hand, that’s what sucks. She didn’t try to do anything to calm it down, which I feel like was necessary in some ways. So many people got hurt in that process, and she lowkey- kinda watched it. Again no hate but- I just want people to understand why I’m frustrated about this whole situation still.

[the-sleepy-archivist]

Online Privacy and Security Tips

I am a firm believer that people should be able to be anonymous and secure online. Over a lifetime of trial and error, I've slowly learned the best ways to protect myself, and I'd like to pass on that knowledge to anyone who wants to hear it.

Last updated May 2024 (added links to news articles about PimEyes being used to identify someone in real life)

Switch to Firefox for your main browser on Windows and Android

Avoid any browser based on the Chromium project (like Microsoft Edge or Google Chrome), as Google has a major conflict of interest that prevents it from truly having users' privacy interests at heart. It makes ~70-80% of its revenue from its highly targeted advertising business, for which it must collect as much information about you as possible. That means that no matter how badly certain parts of Google want to build privacy into the browser, business interests and pressure will always supersede them, or at least force a compromise that still enables some tracking. Firefox is owned and maintained by a non-profit, so it does not have that same conflict, and it shows in the features it builds (and does not build) and the way it treats its users.

I made a list of my favorite Firefox extensions if you want to make your internet experience more pleasant and/or more secure!

Note: on iOS (i.e. iPhones), Firefox' functionality is limited by Apple restrictions and I do not recommend it - using Safari with Extensions like Adguard or 1Blocker is more secure and will give you a better experience. I made a list of my favorite iOS Safari extensions too!

Use a reputable password manager

I suggest 1Password (avoid LastPass and all of the password managers built into browsers, they're not safe). A good password manager increases your online safety by:

Helping you avoid password reuse (a common cause of account hacking)

Generating complex passwords that are difficult to guess or decrypt, and

Allowing you to keep records of all the different sites you have accounts on (so you can quickly change passwords in the event of a breach or delete your accounts on them when they outlive their usefulness)

Delete old accounts you no longer need

If your data has been deleted, no one can steal and leak it if they manage to hack the company.

Sign up for alerts from HaveIBeenPwned (HIBP) to be notified when your data is leaked in a site hacking.

This allows you to quickly change your password, hopefully before anyone is able to decrypt it (if it wasn't stored properly) or use it (if it was easy to guess). If you have reused that password on other sites, be sure to change your password on those sites either.

Note that some leaks don’t actually have any info about what website they were stolen from; if criminals just dump a huge text file onto a hacking forum that has your username and an accompanying password in it, HIBP doesn’t necessarily know what site they hacked to get that info. This is where a password manager like 1Password will come in handy, because 1P can actually use HIBP’s API to check each of your passwords and see if any of them have been leaked before. It will alert you if you need to change a specific password, even if you weren’t aware that site had been hacked.

Note: 1P only sends the first 5 characters of the password hashes to HIBP, not the passwords themselves. You can read more about the feature and how it preserves your privacy here.

Assume all profile pictures on any site are public, and avoid using your face for them if possible

New AI-powered sites like PimEyes can take an image of you, identify your face, and search for it in other, unrelated images around the internet. I searched for myself using a recent image that had never been posted to the internet before, and it immediately identified me in completely separate images I was using as my profile pictures on Facebook and LinkedIn and provided links to my accounts there. In this new AI era, assume anyone who snaps a picture of you can link you to your identity on any website where you have publicly posted your face before. This is not hyperbole; fans used PimEyes to identify a cameraman at a Taylor Swift concert using nothing more than a screenshot of a video taken of him by a concertgoer. Note: for what it's worth, you can submit an opt-out request to PimEyes if you are worried about someone using it to find your accounts online, but it requires you to submit images of your face and your government ID to the company...

Never post the same (original) image on two accounts that you do want to keep separate

Even a simple reverse image search can allow someone to link your different sites together (i.e. don't post the same vacation sunset photo on both Facebook and Tumblr because anyone can use that to link those sites together. Even if your Facebook or Instagram images are private, a follower of yours on one of those sites could still find the Tumblr you are not comfortable sharing with anyone. Marking your Tumblr as hidden only discourages search engines from indexing it; shady companies can and will ignore that and index it anyway.

[ratcatcher0325]

Hey! Alexander.

OC ask 15: Who is the most important person in your life currently and explain why?

Good Evening @connormurphysimp, if that is, in fact, your real name.

Apologies in advance, it’s raining like the dickens tonight, so I’m trying to keep my focus on my response to you and not the flood of Biblical proportions taking place outside. And yes, thank you for pointing out the obvious: there is a clear opportunity for a size joke here so let’s get it out of the way now, lest we embarrass ourselves further. Yes… compared to humans I am rather small. So yes… any rainstorm would be proportionally overwhelming for me. Ha ha. What an excellent sense of humor you have. (I hope my scathing sarcasm is coming across as clearly as I intended it to). Moving on.

I see that we have learned nothing from my previous response. You all just want me to bear my deepest thoughts like this is some sort of personal journal. You do realize this is the internet, yes? So what I say to you, I am professing publicly? I wish you all would make it easier on me and ask things like “Alexander, what’s your opinion on the Massachusetts circuit court system?” “Alexander, what’s the secret to tying the perfect half Windsor knot?” “Alexander, name every chapter title in the Lord of the Rings series!” You know, things that are fun to talk about?? Okay, well, ranting and railing isn’t going to change your question so… here goes.

Who is the most important person in my life currently and why?

Isn’t that plainly obvious?

Me.

I know I’m destined for greatness (it’s in my namesake, after all) and in order to achieve my goals, I must continue to focus on overcoming my current setbacks so I can finally bring my destiny to fruition. Once I’m up and mobile again, it’s over for you all, I promise you that!

Now, I know what you’re thinking… oh, what about Natalie?? And sure, I’ll concede, she’s proven herself not to be completely dull and useless, that’s true. In fact, here recently, after my deeply traumatic vet visit, she’s been, dare I say it, quite sweet. According to her, I made quite the fool of myself apparently fawning over her while under the influence of strong anesthesia, but I’m convinced she exaggerated that story to benefit her agenda. Surely I didn’t actually say those things, because that would imply that I feel that way about her. Which I don’t.

Please don’t misunderstand, I’ve come to not loathe her presence in my life entirely. But I have to think big picture, and will she really factor into these much more important things I want to accomplish? I’m not so sure.

I’m certain if Natalie reads this she’ll get quite emotionally compromised. But how is that my fault? Humans are always wildly over exaggerating things. It’s what they do. Oh well, I suppose I’ll put up with her for a bit longer. She’s grown on me enough to make me laugh. And I rather like the scent of her hair after it’s been freshly washed. It’s a soothing floral scent. Don’t tell her I said that, she’ll tease me about it and then where will I be?

Well, I believe I’ve answered your question in a clear and thorough manner. I hope you’re satisfied.

All the best.

Yours Truly,

Alexander

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

Forgive me for asking, but why would potential employers be trying to look for your ao3 account?? That just strikes me as them being nosy if they're prying into something you do outside of business hours.

because employers ESPECIALLY in tech will scrape the internet and buy your data and i’m not risking it. at the very least if i have it all anonymized and they try to start shit I have plausible deniability + the ability to go “very unprofessional to bypass a website’s anonymity feature sir” and maybe even get AO3’s lawyers to help.

Am I being paranoid? Probably.

Do I believe people who might decide my stuff is an offense to their fragile sense of morality would use the same methods or otherwise stalk me to bring me harm? Absolutely. Seen it happen over on twitter. People get harassed and doxed and even the pathetic little hate I’ve gotten makes me wary of opening the coffin lid.

When people treat authors and artists like shit what you get is authors and artists who don’t wanna put themselves out there, man.

I stay away from twitter coz I can’t keep my damn mouth shut. Here is safer, and I do love to talk to people and share my enthusiasm for this stuff… so you get this account. That’s the current compromise, a tumblr platform I have a fair bit of control over with a nice community to contact me with.

I’m only considering unanonimizing because y’all have been lovely and I really do want to make it easier on those who DO like my stuff. But… yeah, I’m concerned about my safety now and in the future. At the very least I need to clean up my ao3 account name and picture.

Of course if it goes wrong I’ll just put it all on anon again, I will NOT delete any of my fics ever. Even if they’re bad. So don’t be concerned about that, haha.

I’ll keep y’all updated o7 If y’all have Schemes ideas I’m open, though.

[themetalvirus]

egghog posting time

this turned into a really long summary of a few scenes i was thinking very hard about. it's basically two whole fanfictions. it's over 1,200 words. which is a lot for me. so... here we go!

shadow's character arc, as we know, is really good. something particularly captivating (and underrepresented in discussion, from what i've seen in my tiny circle of the internet) about him is his transition from living for other people to living for himself.

living to protect maria and the earth was one thing. his whole self-titled game where everyone was trying to push him around and do what they wanted was another. he got sick of it and decided to not only accept and embrace his past, but move forward from it and forge his own path. while still keeping those he lost in his heart.

egghog shadow has a very similar character arc, thematically speaking. he wouldn't be shadow without it.

of course, he starts off as eggman's primary assistant. he's by eggman's side for a lot of his day, and his life revolves around pacifying him or otherwise doing what he wants. he believes it's his duty.

he, of course, still has hobbies and his own things going on, which we've discussed before, but he really does spend the majority of the day doing things eggman tells him to. he doesn't really have the mental space to question why; he's too busy just trying REALLY hard to please eggman and trying REALLY hard not to just pop amy's head off like a barbie doll when they fight (but he really wants to)

but then he finds out that eggman has been Lying To Him about some really basic things in his life (a scene and section of the story too off topic and complicated for this post) and he's seriously destabilized. he doesn't know what to do. he asks for team rose's (for anybody new: amy, tails, knuckles) help.

he moves into tails' workshop, being the third housemate after silver showed up. it's the only place they can really stay that has someone from team rose there to keep an eye on them and ALSO has an actual roof and running water. so tails gets some pointy housemates and they're all kind of grumpy about it for a while

but when shadow first moves in, he's in a REALLY sensitive and compromised emotional state. his very recently (and repeatedly) traumatized brain has latched onto team rose as new leaders and authority figures.

he had to leave almost all of his projects and collections at home, leaving him with a woeful amount of free time. if he's home alone, he's curled up in his room or on the couch processing All That Shit. if tails is working on something, he'll offer up his help and do everything tails tells him to do to a T.

tails thinks nothing of it the first couple times, appreciating the extra hands, but after shadow builds something exactly in line with the blueprints he was given and it isn't functional, shadow is sheepish and says he had noticed the problem but didn't want to say anything.

tails says oh my goodness, if you noticed you totally could have said something, i wouldn't be mad! feel free to fix stuff yourself if you want if you see mistakes, just tell me before you do anything :)

after that, shadow slooowly starts to feel more comfortable asking if he can make this modification or that change or whatever else, and tails usually says yes! whenever he says no, shadow is noticeably quieter for a while. the whole situation is worrying as tails slowly puts together the whole picture of what being raised by eggman actually looked like for him.

when they first toured the workshop, shadow had said something about tails' workshop being organized differently than eggman's or his own. he was disoriented trying to learn the new system, but he got it quickly enough. but tails wanted to give him the opportunity to have his own space, something he could work in and organize as he likes.

one day, tails very casually asks shadow what his organization system was like at his workshop (and what it looked like), and shadow goes into detail about it after he was encouraged to. tails commits this to memory as best as he can.

the next day, tails has blocked off a section of the workshop and tells shadow not to look at what's inside. shadow, being Scared, agrees.

there's a night where the curiosity gets the best of him. he's wracked with guilt and Angst as he tiptoes to the workshop and takes a peek into the space. he's scared about something going deeply wrong, and also about five nights at freddys being in there

he sees an unfinished workspace that is remarkably familiar. the shelves are painted black, there are half-built speakers shaped like motorcycles, there's exactly the kind of organizers he likes, a beautifully built workbench...

the next day, he admits his sin to tails. tails shyly asks if he likes the space, if everything was ok, and the shadow he knows melts away into something different as he receives a very tight hug. shadow presses his face into tails' shoulder and he can feel his nose and eyes are damp. he says thank you. so much.

he stands up, composes himself (poorly), and marches away to the kitchen for breakfast, but tails files this memory away in a mental cabinet labeled 'important'.

another scenario i've thought about a lot and have mentioned before, partially related:

amy enjoys tea in the mornings. shadow always insists on making her tea for her.

she always says thank you, but tells him that he doesn't need to do that. he says he'll do it anyway.

he watches her face closely every time she takes that first sip, searching for approval and fearing that she'll be dissatisfied. fearing that she'll lash out at him if she is. but she smacks her lips and says ahh, that's good, and his shoulders relax.

one time, she doesn't voice her approval; she makes a little bit of a 'hm' noise and a face. shadow asks if she doesn't like it, she says it's different from how she usually enjoys her tea but it's ok, she'll drink it anyway - AND it's already out of her hands and poured down the sink as shadow rushes to make her another one.

as the new tea is brewing, amy asks shadow WHY he did that, she would have drank it!!

he says he did it wrong, he disappointed her, and now he'll do it the right way

she AGAIN has to insist that it's fine. shadow asks HOW IS IT FINE???????? I MADE A MISTAKE AND NOW YOU'RE UPSET WITH ME??? and she's like I'M MORE MAD THAT YOU POURED THE TEA DOWN THE DRAIN THAN THE FACT YOU GAVE ME WEIRD TEA!!!!!!!!

he says he won't pour it down the drain again, but asks what else he should do with tea he messed up. amy ignores that question and asks why he's so fussed about this, why he insists on "making it right" and why he thinks messing up a beverage is the worst thing ever.

shadow doesn't have an answer for her at first. he has to think about it. he doesn't really say much.

the actual answer, for the record, is that he made eggman's coffee for him every morning. if it tasted just the slightest bit off or if shadow got measurements even a little bit wrong, eggman would blow up at him; he's gotten scorching coffee poured on his head multiple times, splashed in his face and at his eyes, he's been hit and kicked and seriously hurt over how he's made coffee and other small tasks similar to it in nature.

god forbid he missed eggman's morning coffee entirely. there would be hell to pay if he told eggman to do it himself. so he always has tea ready for amy.

at some point there's a small gathering at tails' house, and she has to FORCE him to just sit the fuck down and let her make the beverages herself. he's confused and upset, he has no idea how to handle something being done FOR him; he's never been at the receiving end of a gesture like that.

but when amy comes back with tea, she insists he take a sip and tell her if she likes it. he feels odd, he wants to refuse, but he accepts anyway and takes a sip. it's fucking delicious. amy beams.

he gets it now.

[sisterssafespace]

AssalamoAlaikum wrb JazakAllah for this space. I have two older sisters, one is married and the other will be getting married in a few months InshaAllah so I'm next in line to the throne lol. I was wondering what's some questions to keep in mind when deciding about who to marry or what specific make or break questions should one ask when meeting a potential guy (Deen approved specifically).

و عليكم السلام و رحمة اللّٰه و بركاته حبيبتي،

Contrary to popular belief and to the thousand posts on the internet about ' 100 halal questions to ask your future spouse ' or something, I do not believe in this. I do not believe in this trend or concept of asking someone questions to determine or evaluate how good of a person/ partner they can be. So I asked my husband to get a male perspective and Alhamdulillah he thinks the same! He said that the potential can easily lie or pretend or conceal some aspects from their lives to paint a picture perfect or to give you exactly what you want to hear. I share that opinion.

I think you can learn more from the way that person answers a question or discusses a topic than from the answer itself.

I mean, you can ask a person how much of the Qur'an they have learnt or if they pray their Fajr on time, but then what? I mean it could be a conversation starter but nothing more can come out of it, because unfortunately these acts do not always reflect the real character of the person. Unfortunately we live in a world that there is nothing left from Islam than the appearances. On another hand, he could be at a certain stage religiously so he gives an answer that wouldn't satisfy you but then Allah swt would bring him closer to Him. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Furthermore, the deal breakers are very personal. I can't tell you what are the deal breakers for your marriage 🙈 but based on personal experience, what I thought was a deal breaker for me yes it was important but it was on a very shallow level, I wish I required DEEPER aspects 😅😅

Anyways my dear, it is more important you talk with this person, you discuss concepts, ideas, hypothesis, conspiracy theories if needed 😅 whatever it takes to try and get to know what kind of person they are and if their personality is something you can cope with, because trust me it is all about coping, and no matter how prepared you are, no matter how much you think you know them, you'll still be surprised later once married :D. But there are light surprises, that we can cope with, we can adjust to, and there are the heavy ones where compromising or coping is impossible.

What I would recommend though is that you make a list of the standards you are looking for in a partnership, the characters you want your partner to have and the things you can never tolerate. And hold on to your standards sweetie, never lower them no matter the pressure that's on you, the standards can only go up!

May Allah swt grant you and the girls of our ummah the righteous husbands who will fear Allah swt in you and take good care of you, ameen.

- A.Z. 🍃🤍

[give-soup-please]

Hey, it's the anon who had the long-winded narrator dream again. I have two things I wanna say to you, firstly, I saw him again! Granted it's a bit blurry now, some minor dreams can almost be entirely erased by the blurring of waking, but because it happened, I tried my best to hold onto the memory of it. I told him that you were sorry for leaving, but that life got in the way. I remember him smiling despite my mental depiction of him not really having a physical form. I think he told me to tell you that it's alright? I then also told him to pursue you when you guys meet in a dream, implying for you guys to have an actual conversation.

(Also whenever I mentioned you, somehow I said your name and "Soup" at the same time, but now I'm realising I called you "Jayce" which I mean. Close enough?)

Secondly, I have been watching your blog from the start of you making your tsp headcannons. And I think you've changed, in a good way of course. I'm not sure on how to describe it, but overtime, you revealed more of the person beneath this blog, and the more you did, the more you shaped my mental perception of you. Fuck, I think the first thing I saw of yours was the narrator commission you got. Back then, you were just the default avatar in my mind. Not exactly someone who would stick well. But then I became intrigued in you, started checking your blog every-so-often, started reading what you had wrote. That's when you became more of a person. Eventually you changed into one of those object head people, even once me accidentally creating the image in my mind of your icon with a poorly photoshopped picture of soup on it. Then you told us your circumstance of life. I think that made me see you as more human since then. More and more you became an actual real human, which is quite uncommon for my brain to subconsiously recognise people on The Internet as a human person, some of my friends or partners don't even get that. Then I sent my dream in and you said your name. I suddenly had a full mental depiction of you. It was like taking off a mask, I could see you, face and all. I know it's not realistic in the slightest, it never is, but I just thought I should tell you. That I can see you. That I understand. Obviously you don't have to even care about this part of the ask, or respond to it, I just wanted to tell you that you are so. Real to me. And that I hope to see you again. Doesn't matter how, when or where, I have hope that maybe, maybe I'll see you again. :) 💙

This is another message I've been keeping in my inbox for a while, just staring and smiling. Thanks for passing the message along. I think it's been made clear to him that I'm taking a solid break. It's very interesting how we build perceptions of other people in our minds.

I'm glad that I started feeling comfortable enough to let other people perceive me. I've made a lot of strong connections with people as a result. I get worried, sometimes, that I share too much. That my safety may be compromised somehow, if I reveal more than I already have. But I look at this message, and I think it was worth it.

I am real to other people. What a joy that is.

I believe you will see me again. It's not going to be the same, going forward, but I have dreams and I'm planning on accomplishing them. One day, when this blog is a very distant memory, an old follower of mine will go to a bookstore, and glance around, not looking for anything in particular. They'll see my name on a book, and there will be a very distant memory. They'll flip to the back where the author bio is, and it will mention that my favorite food is soup, or some other similar injoke.

And the memories will come flooding back.

"That son of a bitch really did it. He made it." They'll say.

Or not. It's a funny way to picture it happening though.

You've appeared in my inbox a few times, anon. I recognize that blue heart sign off. I don't know anything besides that heart, indicating it's you. Maybe you requested something with a username attached, maybe you didn't. I don't remember. The point being, I see you, too.

I won't be gone entirely. The posts and reblogs will stop, but I'll still be alive, consuming content.

And should the day ever come when I'm ready to come back, to post on a regular basis again, you'll know. If I'm ever ready, Should it ever come to pass... it'll be hilarious. I found the perfect picture and everything. I don't make promises I can't keep, but there's always a chance I could come back. I never close a door that shouldn't be closed.

Until then, keep an eye out for me. And maybe someday, we'll meet again.

[omgsomeonesomewhereonearth]

I'll Write This Scene a Thousand Times - Ch1

AO3 Link || Next Chapter

Ship: Moceit (Janus/Patton)

Warnings: Alcohol, Implied sex, one-night stand, rumours and scandal, swearing, I would recommend a 16+ readership, but since this isn't actually explicit I guess use your discretion?

Summary: For all accounts and purposes, Patton Hart should have been able to make it through his twenties in the music industry without coming face to face with a scandal. The perfect package of talented and adorable, with family connections to boot, all he'd had to do was keep out of trouble, and he was good at that.

He hadn't counted on running into Janus Lyre. The beautiful, frustrating, devil-may-care actor evidently has some sort of effect on Patton, driving him to make the sort of mistake that never would have crossed his mind previously. Now, with their faces plastered across the internet and fledgling careers on the line, the two of them need to keep the lie of their fleeting relationship sustained.

‘The sweetheart and the snake’ - has Janus Lyre found a new ‘Hart’ to break?

Less than an hour after being photographed at the premiere for his own movie, the young star was seen at a swanky downtown nightclub - guess that’s one flick we won’t be catching!

But, dear readers, that’s not the most interesting part. With Lyre’s turbulent record over his few years of fame, one might say playing hooky is just a minor infraction for the beloved bad boy, but the same can’t be said for the cutie hanging off his arms in those photos! Some of you might have already recognised those cute brown curls and sunshine grin, and as hard as it may be to believe that is indeed Patton Hart.

The youngest son of now retired singer Ophelia Hart has made quite a name for himself recently, with his sugary sweet lyrics and impossibly innocent persona - impossibly being the operative word. Is the golden boy finally rebelling? Or had there always been a darker side to Hart, hidden behind the saccharine pastel branding?

---

Logan Wright: Just saw the news. Need to talk immediately. Send me your location, I can arrange for you to be picked up safely.

Logan Wright: Patton please pick up my calls

Logan Wright: I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how urgent this is??

---

Patton groaned around the headache coursing through his skull as he paced the wooden floors of the darkened bedroom, willing the phone in his hand to be still long enough for him to figure out what to do.

This had to be a bad dream.

Patton Hart was not the kind of guy to wake up in another man’s bed with a bad hangover, barely any memories of the previous night, a hundred missed calls from his manager, and compromising pictures of himself spread all over the internet.

Maybe if he just crossed his fingers real hard and opened up twitter again, it would all just be gone and he would wake up in his own home, sans migraine, and everything would be just fine.

Nope. Patton’s own besotted face was the very first thing that greeted him as he opened the app, gazing up at Janus Lyre of all people. He felt like he was looking at a stranger as he flicked through the images despite his own surmounting dread. He watched this weirdly confident version of himself, practically draping himself over a man he barely knew, grinning as Janus leaned in to whisper in his ear, kissing him in the street outside the nightclub, his own unfamiliar hands running through long dark locks, wandering down to lithe waist and hips, pulling their bodies even closer.

Patton felt sick. He had to call Logan, he knew that. Logan knew how to fix things, he would handle this.

Then again, Patton had never given him something like this to fix before.

The tweets underneath the photos ranged between a variety of reactions, from confused, to shocked, to disgusted to “always knew Patton Hart had a dirty side”, to “Can’t wait to see how long Janus keeps this one around.”

To be perfectly honest, all of them made the sea of dread and nausea in Patton’s gut rise and lurch.

“This is so bad,” he muttered to the figure that had just appeared in the doorway, glass of water in hand.

“Oh is it? Is it really? Oh, thank you so much for telling me, I would definitely have forgotten just how ‘bad’ this was if you weren't here to remind me.”

Janus Lyre was infuriatingly cool, in a way that no one really had a right to be in the mornings - let alone on this morning. Somehow, even in sweatpants, with his tousled hair tied back in a low ponytail, he managed to make Patton feel awkwardly underdressed for having put his own clothes back on. His smudged eyeliner, a relic of the night, only added to the effect of his condescending eyeroll.

Regardless, Patton was grateful to accept the water, and the aspirin that was dropped into his palm with it. At least he was a gracious host, all things considered.

He sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, sipping slowly as he picked at a rip in his rumpled jeans. He could feel the weight of Janus’ eyes on him, but he didn’t want to look up. It felt like he’d be doing something wrong, shameful even, to be looking at the other man right now, despite all that had already transpired between them.

He didn’t know Janus, not really, but he had known of him. At least, he’d known he was bad news. He was an incredible actor, from what Patton had heard, and had managed to flourish in the past couple of years despite his young age and apparent lack of industry connections.

…Unfortunately, his incredible acting wasn’t all that he was known for. Janus’ name frequently popped up with regards to his sardonic responses to the press, disregard for convention, insulting important names in the industry, and generally being considered trouble.

Patton had often wondered how the man hadn’t been blacklisted yet. He never thought he’d end up tangled up with him in any way, much less this literally.

“Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’re getting how serious this is,” he protested, “I - I just don’t understand how - there are pictures, Janus, everywhere, I have so many calls-”

Janus looked almost amused, as he leaned casually against the curtained windows, quirking an eyebrow at Patton.

“Oh dear, not pictures !” he mocked, “I take it this is your first time getting caught ‘ in flagrante’?”

“Wha- yes,  of course!” Patton flushed.

“Well, don’t worry then, the first time is always the hardest,” Janus responded lightly, seeming as though he was getting quite bored with the conversation, and by extension, with Patton.

“I don’t exactly intend there to be a second time, just so you know,” Patton snapped,” I didn’t even intend for there to be a first time, quite frankly-”

Janus did look amused at this, grinning smugly as he replied, “Oh, is that right? You and I appear to remember last night very differently.”

“I’d really rather not talk about last night, thanks.”

“I’d happily talk about anything else. You are the one that keeps bringing it up,” Janus shrugged, before turning on his heel to face the window, tugging the curtain open by the corner, just enough to invite in a thin stream of light.

Patton might struggle with nuance sometimes, but even he understood that - Janus had got the last word in, and now he was done talking.

He huffed in annoyance, but it didn’t stop his traitorous eyes from following the graceful movement, tracing the dark lines of the tattoo that marked Janus’ light brown skin, a massive serpent that coiled and looped all over one side of his slender frame, seeming almost to writhe, hypnotically, with the slightest movement.

Patton tore his eyes away quickly, tugging self consciously at his own sweater sleeves. The cool water had helped slightly, but he could feel the dread settling in his stomach again. He didn’t belong in this situation, having wild midnight trysts with ridiculously pretty men, and whatever confidence the alcohol had apparently given him last night had evaporated, leaving him utterly unprepared for light, flirtatious morning-after banter.

“Um, well,” he cleared his throat and stood up, “I should probably go now, and call my manager to fix all this. Thank you for, er - the water, and last night, I guess, and I wish you all the best, of course.”

Janus didn’t even turn around to respond, “Oh, and I don’t suppose you’ll need transportation arranged?”

“No thank you,  I can find my way-”

“And give the press an opportunity to catch you leaving the den of the snake? In the same clothes you entered in, no less?”

“I-”

Luckily, Patton didn’t have to come up with a clever response, because Logan - his dear, wonderful, manager Logan - decided to call him at that very moment.

“...I have to take this.” he muttered triumphantly, turning around to lift the phone to his ear, “Hi, Logan, I am so, so, sorry - I meant to call you, I just-”

“No time,” Logan’s phone voice was as always, clipped and professional, and he got straight to the point, “I need to see you. Immediately. There is much to discuss. I trust you’ve had enough foresight to remain at Lyre’s residence and not step outside?”

“I - I’m still here, yep.” Patton blushed.

“Good. I’m sending a car, don’t leave the building until it arrives. And bring Lyre with you, please.”

“You want to meet Janus?”

“The subject I need to discuss with you also concerns him, so yes.”

“Oh- um, okay, I’ll bring him. Um, do you need an address?”

“No need, I have it.”

“Already? How?”

“That is my job, Patton.”

“Right, right, fair enough. Okay, I’ll see you.”

---

Patton had a flashback to middle school - the one time he was sent to see the principal for bad behaviour - as he knocked nervously on the door to Logan’s office.

“Come in.”

He heard a scoff from behind him as he took a deep breath, preparing to open the door - it had been a struggle to get Janus to come along.

Just as he’d expected - and feared - Logan was wearing his “I am a professional and thus I am not going to get upset” face. What he hadn’t expected, was that this look didn’t seem directed at him.

Leaning back in the chair next to Logan’s, high heeled boots on the desk, was a man that Patton had never seen before - and between the half-black, half-silver mullet, curled moustache, and bright green glitter, he was pretty sure he’d remember if he had.

His eyes skipped over Patton entirely before settling on Janus and lighting up.

“J-Anus!” he cackled, “Thanks for not picking up any of my calls from last night, asshole!”

“Remus, good to see you,” Janus sighed, “Looks like your mummy called my mummy,” he whispered loudly to Patton.

To Remus, he said, “I do apologise, Remus, I turned my phone off because I was busy not watching the movie I was in. I’m sure you understand.”

“Ahem,” Logan interrupted, “Mr Lyre, thank you for coming in, Patton, this is Remus Rey, Mr Lyre's manager. Please take a seat, Remus and I have much to discuss with you.”

Patton waved politely at Remus, who winked back.

“Well first things first, I’d like to say congratulations to you both-”

“Remus.”

“-But that was nasty fucking trick you pulled there, Jay! You promised me you’d stop disappearing from important events! You know how much work I have to do to clear that shit up?”

Janus shrugged like a petulant teenager. “Got bored.”

“I really am sorry for putting this on you, Logan.” Patton could see Logan’s knuckles tightening, a familiar tenseness in his jaw, that telegraphed that he was Not Having a Good Time.

“That’s - not to worry, Patton,” a twitch had started to develop in his right eye, “technically speaking, this is - my job.”

“And he’s pretty damn good at it if he’s managed to keep you out of trouble this long eh, Patty?” Remus cracked in, “I mean, for what it’s worth, I always knew there was more to you, but the two of you really had the rest of those idiots fooled, huh?”

“Um…”

“ Anyways,” Logan interrupted through gritted teeth, “Whilst the two of you were missing in action, so to speak…”

Patton sunk a little deeper in his seat. He wasn’t looking at him, but he was pretty sure he could feel Janus roll his eyes from beside him.

“...Remus and I had a chance to sit down and decide how to deal with this in a way that will benefit both parties.”

“ Oh, how fascinating, do tell .”

Logan, apparently much better equipped at dealing with smart-ass comments than Patton, ignored Janus entirely.

“Now, the two of you may have your reservations, but I request that you please hear us out before rejecting the matter entirely.”

“Now, the two of you may have your reservations, but I request that you please hear us out before rejecting the matter entirely.”

“Of Course we’ll hear you out!”

“ ...Yes, because that request didn’t raise any suspicions at all.”

“Remus and I think the best way to spin this current...situation to our advantage, would be with a relationship contract.”

There was a silence in the room for a minute as the full meaning of Logan’s words settled in. Well, a silence accompanied by Remus tapping out a rhythm on the edge of Logan’s desk with his - admittedly fabulous - acrylic nails. After what felt like a full minute he grinned at them.

“Pretty good, huh? It was my idea.”

”Yes, well, I cannot exactly deny that Remus was the one to suggest that,” Logan grumbled, “However, I do support it entirely, and am happy to proceed with your consent.”

“You want us to...date?”

“They want us to pretend to date,” Janus interjected, “A few staged photos, attend events on my arm, everyone thinks this was a sweet little lover’s outing and not a drunken fling.”

“See, I told you mine was smart!” Remus grinned proudly at Logan.

“...Indeed,” Logan nodded at Janus, “I understand you might have your compunctions, but this is the best way for us to spin this into something... close to brand-appropriate, for Patton. And as for you, Mr Lyre-”

“We’re hoping we can make it look like you’re finally setting down, starting to behave yourself, or some horseshit like that,” Remus cut in, “I gotta keep you booked somehow, Jan-Jan.”

Another long silence filled the room - and even Remus stayed quiet for this one. Patton stared at his lap. He didn’t exactly feel great about this sort of thing, but Logan had said it was the only way. And heck, this sort of stuff happened all the time in this line of work, he knew that. Right?

Janus spoke up first.

“How long would this contract be, exactly?”

“We were thinking one year,” came Logan’s reply.

A whole year?

"I assume there are rules?"

"Behave as though you're in a relationship, perform for the camera when necessary, and if you intend to have outside relations, do try to keep them private - or better yet, don't."

“...I’m amenable,” Janus said finally.

And then, Patton could feel three sets of eyes on him, waiting for a response. Logan, calm and expectant, as ever hiding his impatience behind professionalism. Remus, toothy-grinned, leaning forward as if he was watching a sports match.

And Janus. For the first time with sober eyes, Patton levelled his own gaze with Janus’. His face was as inscrutable as ever, but Patton could feel the unspoken challenge behind his mismatched eyes. Asking him whether Patton Hart could handle something like this. Or worse, outright stating that he couldn’t.

…Or maybe Janus wasn’t thinking any of that and it was just Patton’s own loopy consciousness egging him on. Either way, the words slipped out of his mouth before he even thought them.

“I’ll do it.”

[withahappyrefrain]

Okay I assume (and please know I say this with all respect) that you probably grew up in a religious/constervative/purity culture heavy home. Probably have a huge boner for the "I can fix"/morally grey man. And that you have achieved grade A MILF status without having any (human) children that we know of 👀👀👀

Kinda? You're very close anon.

So my mom is Methodist, my dad is Jewish. We grew up observing both religions, but their compromise was that my siblings and I were never baptized or had a Bar Mitzah. So I knew that religion could be important to folks, but I saw it in a healthy way aka both my parents were like "we're going to be good people and also we're not going to follow a book from 500 years ago to the Tee". I also saw that two people with different beliefs could not only coexist, but also love each other and raise children. And that's very important to me now, as my fiancé is Atheist but knows that I want to share my Jewish culture with our children and that's a topic we've discussed and have come to an agreement. Neither of us are forcing religion on our kids (it's going to be brought up in a "hey, this is what Mom and Dad celebrate!"), but if our kids are interested in any religion, I will most likely be the one to take them to places and help learn with them. He unfortunately did not have a positive experience with religion, but knows that I did, knows that it's possible, and wants me to be the one to guide our kids with that (I say "guide" when I'm down to support whatever they want to believe). We also know that we will talk to our kids how no matter the religion, some people use that as a reason to be assholes and that's not okay. Again, it's about communicating and compromise.

Also my mom was very much "if you need birth control, just fucking tell me. I won't ask questions. I'd rather you be protected." and like, I will do that with my kids. Because it was so wonderful knowing I could go to her and say "Mom, I need this" and know she wouldn't judge, she just helped me make the appointment. My parents were very big in "tell us if you need help, and we'll help you. We won't judge" and that's what I want to be as a future parent. My mom was the first/only of her sisters to live with a man before marrying them. And she faced backlash/criticism from it. So she is very realistic. We love her.

Yes, I like the idea of fixing man. In reality? Nah. I'm marrying a former fuckboy. He started his reformation before meeting me. So again it worked for me. BUT. Was I the woman that he was like "OOOOO I'm marrying her, that's my future wifey". Yes and it's an ego boost.

With my greys and tits, yes I am a MILF, despite not having any kids. My students are always surprised when halfway through the year, I mention not having any kids. "You don't have any kids?!" They're also six, which is why they're surprised after having me for half a year. But yes, this is spot on. If I did have kids, I'd let y'all know but wouldn't show any pictures. I'm a firm believer in not exposing my child to the world wide web. Family and friends is one thing, but the whole internet? Nah.

[elitegymnastics]

Q: What is this?

A: It’s a flyer for a virtual fundraiser on June 4th that Elite Gymnastics is playing. You can access the show at quietyear.com

Q: Hasn’t Elite Gymnastics been inactive for like, ten years?

A: Yes. This is the first Elite Gymnastics performance of any kind since November 30th 2012, at the Horn Gallery at Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio. 

Q: Why did Elite Gymnastics stop playing shows?

A: Elite Gymnastics started out as me (Jaime) and a bunch of my friends agreeing to help me play my songs live back in 2009. I made a lot of weird demos in GarageBand and my friend Dominique Davis from the band Dearling Physique got tired of watching me sit on them. So, he booked me to play at a show he was curating as part of a small local music and arts festival called Clapperclaw. For several months that’s mainly what EG was. At some point the focus shifted to making recordings rather than playing shows, to participate in the emergent culture of new music distributed via MP3 file-sharing. The lineup winnowed to just me and Josh Clancy, who began creating digital EPs that we posted on this Tumblr page as ZIP files full of MP3s accompanied by a PDF of artwork. This is the incarnation of the group that most people are familiar with.

This was before Patreon existed. If Bandcamp was around, we’d never heard of it. Though MP3 file-sharing culture and file transfer sites like MediaFire and MegaUpload allowed anyone to distribute music freely across the world via the internet, it was still pretty difficult to get people to pay you for it. I think it was for this reason that a lot of internet music back then featured a lot of sampling. A lot of artists’ first forays into the world of DAWs and production took the form of mash-ups, bootleg remixes, and DJ mixes. Artists like Animal Collective, MIA, Kanye West, and Daft Punk for whom sampling was a pillar of their creative process were extremely influential. Elite Gymnastics was no exception - the first song of ours to gain traction online was “Is This On Me?” which made no attempt to hide the fact that it heavily sampled Faye Wong’s “Eyes On Me.” The fact that it was so difficult to make money off MP3s pushed people to make different creative decisions than they would have otherwise. It was sort of a free-for-all.

Eventually, all of this started to change. The major labels started getting a lot more aggressive about trying to destroy MP3 file-sharing culture. Platforms like MegaUpload were raided and taken offline. The replacements that sprung up to replace them were increasingly infested with ads and malware. Corporate platforms like YouTube and SoundCloud adopted Content ID filters to prevent the proliferation of copyrighted music there. Blogs and private torrent trackers being taken down meant thousands of hours of labor were wiped out in an instant. Some of the best archives of the history of recorded music ever created were destroyed without hesitation. Even the most devoted participants lost the will to keep repairing and re-making the stuff that cops and record companies kept obliterating.

Josh and I both dreamed of being able to make a living as musicians. We still do. Back then, we were willing to accept a lot of changes in order to make that possible, which seemed necessary. A lot of the stuff that we were great at just didn’t make any money. Once, we were asked to do a remix of a song called “Sa Sa Samoa” by the band Korallreven. I did the remix by myself, which was normal for us, and Josh was so inspired by it that he spent a week working non-stop to create a video for it. People loved it - the day the video dropped, Pitchfork designated the song as a “Best New Track” and New York Magazine wrote about it in their “Approval Matrix.” The video led to a ton of exposure, but from a financial perspective, it just did not make sense to put that much effort into promoting a remix of someone else’s song. The stuff we were personally excited by just seemed to have less and less to do with what actually makes money.

A lot of internet bands during this era began to palpably shapeshift in an effort to succeed in music as a career. Artists who’d first attracted notice for sample-based bangers they made on a laptop started posing with vintage hardware in their press photos and trading in their laptops for live bands and recording studios. It became harder to distribute DJ mixes or mash-ups that contained copyrighted music in them. Influential bloggers either closed up shop or were absorbed into the traditional music industry in some way. Feeds that once touted bizarre songs by laptop-toting weirdos with no industry connections started to become populated mostly by artists with labels and publicists. The bottom rungs of festival lineups started to consist mostly of new major label signings who have lots of money to spend on stage production but not much in the way of grassroots fan enthusiasm or media buzz. 

Internet music and what people tend to refer to as “indie music” split off into two separate streams. Today, there’s a pretty intense firewall between internet culture and whatever you want to call the culture of vinyl records, mid-sized indie labels with publicists, and positive reviews from the few remaining websites that still pay people to write about music. I call it “publicist indie,” “lifestyle techno,” or “prestige electronica” depending on whether or not the music features guitars and/or vocals. The recent online kerfuffle about NFTs really emphasized this split. The worlds of digital illustration and game development campaigned aggressively against mass adoption of cryptocurrency - if you saw any Medium posts explaining crypto’s environmental issues, chances are they were written by someone from those fields. Every new announcement by an artist that they had minted an NFT was met with a swift and vocal backlash from fans. Though I’ve never really been much of an Aphex Twin fan, it was still pretty startling to look at the replies under his NFT announcement tweet and see hundreds of furious people announcing that he was now dead to them. That’s an artist who has seemed more or less unimpeachable for most of my life up until this point! All of that seemed to change in an instant.

There is a massive disconnect between the insular world of the industry establishment and the cutting edge of online counterculture. We saw this again a couple of weeks ago with the online response to the crisis in Gaza. We saw passionate advocacy for Palestinians from games journalists and developers much more often than we saw it from musicians. This is a very serious problem for music! I do not believe it is possible to please both sides - that is to say, I do not believe it is possible to be part of internet counterculture and the industry establishment simultaneously. The music industry is too conservative, too compromised, too corrupt. If it weren’t for the ocean of valuable copyrights that labels are sitting on, most of them would be bankrupt within a year. If the industry was forced to live or die based on how they handle what’s happening right now in the present, it would most assuredly die. The only people who don’t realize this are those who are being paid to stay ignorant. 

Josh and I did not know this back then. From where we were standing, it looked like internet culture and established media industries were on track to converge. A career in the arts seemed genuinely, tantalizingly possible, right up until the moment that it no longer did. 

In my case, I had really been struggling up until that point. My life had been this ongoing sequence of evictions and hospitalizations, and it seemed to be getting worse, not better. I donated plasma twice a week to pay for groceries and while I was sitting there with a giant needle stuck in my left arm for an hour I would see my picture in The Fader or my songs being recommended by one of the Kings of Leon on Twitter or whatever. Music seemed like the only thing the world thought I was any good at. It felt like my only chance at a peaceful, happy life was somewhere out there in a world I could only perceive through a laptop screen. 

Gender, for me, was a big factor in all of this. The more invested in the craft of songwriting I became, the harder it was to repress or ignore my gender stuff. At that time I’m not sure I even knew what the word “transgender” meant - I just knew that when I showed up at a venue wearing a skirt, no one would talk to me or look me in the eye, and that reading about people like Anohni or Terre Thaemlitz or on the internet made me feel like if I could get out of Minneapolis maybe I could find a place where people would accept me. The internet was like, a pretty toxic place for someone in my position. When I tried to find people to talk to about what I was feeling, nobody tried to tell me to read Judith Butler or ask me what pronouns I preferred. The internet was just like, overrun with predators who just wanted to fetishize me and exploit me. Music seemed like the only way I’d ever have an actual life as myself. I was desperate for that. I was well and truly desperate.

Between all the big changes that were happening to us individually and the music industry moving farther and farther away of the anarchic free-for-all of MP3 file-sharing culture, the strain on us just got to be too much. We stopped trusting each other. We became the unstoppable force and the immovable object, crashing haphazardly against one another’s resolve in a dazzling display of youthful futility. Our partnership ended, and after finishing out the remaining live shows on the calendar by myself, I retired the name “Elite Gymnastics” and started making music on my own under other names. That was that.

Q: Why is Elite Gymnastics coming back now, then?

A: Over the years, Josh and I eventually started talking again. Though there was a lot we did agree on, and potential future projects were discussed, nothing truly felt right. We haven’t been in the same room since Summer 2012, and we’ve both changed a lot since then. We both have other projects and we’ve both developed other ways of working since we stopped working together. It’s a pretty big commitment to put all of that aside in order to join your fortunes together with someone you haven’t seen in a decade.

Recently, Josh decided to leave Elite Gymnastics. His reasons are his own, and I was very surprised by his decision, but after having had time to adjust, I’m really grateful to him. I had kept these songs at a distance for many years, because it seemed foolish to allow myself to get too attached to songs I didn’t feel like I was allowed to think of as mine, if that makes any sense. The songs felt like casualties of a conflict that I had to bury in the ground and try to forget about. Being able to embrace them again felt like re-growing a severed limb or having a loved one come back to life, almost. Feeling like it was safe to love these songs again made me feel whole in a way I didn’t expect to. I became really excited by the prospect of revisiting them, so that’s what I decided to do.

Q: Does this mean you’re going to put RUIN back on Spotify?

A: No. Taking the record off Spotify was the right thing to do. That record was only ever intended to exist during the era of MP3 piracy. I never envisioned a world where the music industry would be so aggressive about policing the way that copyrighted music is allowed to exist online. If we hadn’t opted to take the record down when we did, someone would inevitably have forced us to. If you want to hear those specific recordings again, you’re going to have to do it the way we originally intended: by downloading MP3 files from the internet. Try SoulSeek.

Q: What’s next for Elite Gymnastics, then?

A: Here’s the situation currently. There is no Elite Gymnastics music available to stream or purchase in an official capacity anywhere on the internet. It wouldn’t really be possible for me to put the old stuff on Spotify or Bandcamp now because of all the samples. Like I said before, it was a different time. Those records were created to thrive on a past version of the internet that no longer exists. They weren’t designed to be compatible with the 2021 internet.

Technically, Elite Gymnastics didn’t ever release a debut album. We had EPs, a compilation, and a remix collection. We didn’t make an album, a record that existed as the distillation of all that experimentation that contained all of the songs that fans of the EPs would want to hear, all in one place. It’s like we did Good Fridays but stopped before we made My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.

So, I am currently working on the first Elite Gymnastics album. If you were following my stuff as Default Genders, you may have noticed me posting demos on my SoundCloud page from 2015-2018 that were all eventually reworked into the album Main Pop Girl 2019. The album I am making is taking that approach to all the old EG songs, including some unreleased stuff. I’m collaborating with others on some songs and I honestly feel like it has resulted in some of the best and most exciting music I have ever been involved with. It is a drastic reinvention, but iteration and reinvention have always been a big part of what I do. I want to make something that feels like the culmination of everything that came before, and so far, I think I’m succeeding.

Q: When will I be able to hear this new music?

At a virtual fundraiser on June 4th, 2021, where there is a suggested donation of $10. You can access it at quietyear.com

[miserybegins]

What's the Eliza tea? Is that blonde girl in the picture Eliza?

yes the blonde girl is eliza....strap yourselves in.

a little backstory first:

eliza (known on the internet as eliza cuts cause she did hair and that was her scene name sdfhskd) was gerard’s girlfriend/fiance. no one really knows how long they were together but i believe they got together sometime during revenge. she did gerards hair and makeup sometimes. in lotms when he’s gettin his eyeliner done and the girl says something like stop your eye from getting tweaky and hes like “deal with it” thats eliza. 

i’m not positive but she was good friends with alicia, mikey’s first wife, and i think he may have met her through alicia. they were in a group of friends referred to as the “world’s most hated crew”. here’s a video of them at pinkberry with jeffree star and heychris lmao.

this is her:

anyway they dated and then they got engaged. there’s rumors that she proposed and pretended to be pregnant to get him to say yes but those are just rumors and i have no idea if they are true or not. 

a lot of people don’t know that gerard was engaged before lynz but he was and he was engaged to eliza up until sometime during the summer of 2007, same summer that he married lynz.

in may of 2007 he was asked about the ring that he was wearing and said that he found someone very special in this interview at around 1:58 and this is just a clip of an interview that i don’t think exists in full on the internet anymore but he says that he confirmed he was engaged and that was in june of 2007.

basically eliza was like big on myspace and the internet but also was known to hang around on mcr forums and see what was being said about her and possibly even posting under an alias. mcr fans were NOT big fans of her.

on june 4th 2007 someone claiming to be close to the band posted on imnotokay.net (which was the biggest mcr forum on the internet) and addressed the eliza situation. they said:

"HiI felt I had to write to you guys to allay some of your fears regarding the rumours and speculation surrounding Gerard and Eliza and the future of the band.This is the only time I will ever post. I will not be able to respond to your comments or enter into discussion or debate on what I'm about to say.We are aware that this is one of the most popular message boards for MCR fans and we know you guys are the most dedicated and loyal fans in the world. It saddens me to see such division amongst the fans over one woman. If it's any consolation, you guys are not the only ones affected. She is merely tolerated by both band and crew. Believe me, nothing anyone can say will change his mind. She's been the cause of numerous conflicts and while we dont have to like it, we have to accept it, at least for the forseeable future.From day one this woman has had a hidden agenda - her manipulation knows no bounds. Some of you may find this difficult to believe but I assure you I have personally witnessed the two sides of this woman. Her so-called 'good deeds' are nothing more than PR exercises for his benefit. But he does not see what goes on behind closed doors.We have tried to draw his attention to her blatant self-promotion and diva demands. This is a prime example of love being blind. His feelings for her do run very deep. Her feelings for him, however, are questionable at best. Many people believe, including myself, that he is being used as nothing more than a stepping stone. It's disheartening to see someone you care about and have worked with for a very long time change as a person, becoming more detached and causing the group dynamic to change as a result.There have been conflicts and differences of opinions and compromises have had to be made She does not accompany the band on the European legs of the tour. Since being on this current European leg, he seems much happier which suggest she doesnt make him as happy as he thinks.Despite being asked more than once to remain discreet, she blatantly disregards his wish to keep his personal life private by continually fuelling the internet hype. The band has always been about the music and the fans. This will not change. MCR have never endorsed any type of clique as it encourages and promotes the kind of high school mentality that MCR have always fought against.Your continued support is appreciated and rest assured this woman will have no adverse affect on the band and the music. For obvious reasons I am remaining anonymous.Eliza, we know you trawl these message boards and you probably know who I am - but I'd like to see you try and prove it!!!"

theres a lot of speculation on who could have been. possibly brian, someone else close to the band, etc, but my favorite theory is that it was frank who posted it. i think the last line sounds exactly like him. but that’s speculation.

anyway at some point during that summer gerard broke off the engagement.

this is my favorite part and the craziest part. she went on to write a fanfiction about their relationship. seriously. she renamed herself emma and gerard, paul who was in a band called The Black Pajama Party......i couldn’t make this up if i tried. she posted it on her myspace which doesn’t exist anymore but it’s been transcribed here if you want to read it. tw for mention of self harm.

anyway that was basically the end of it. she auditioned for american idol one year but didn’t make it lol. i ended up facebook friends with her at some point i’m not even sure how???

and now she’s an insta baddie/”influencer” lmao....every time i see her on insta i can’t even imagine what it would be like now if they had actually gotten married and stayed together....

[leannetalksanime]

Shōnen Anime Through The Feminist Lens

During quarantine, there has been a significant rise in the popularity of Anime; this wave of new fans brought back memories of when I first started exploring anime and how I came to love this media. Anime is a confusing word: In the western world, anime a separate genre of animated shows and movies from the typical western cartoons (ie. SpongeBob, Tom and Jerry, etc.) while in Japan, it refers to any animation in general. But for the sake of simplicity, I will refer to anime as a type of animated show or movie that uses signature aspects of Japanese-style animation.

Usually, a person is recommended mainstream shows from the shōnen genre when introduced to anime. Shōnen anime and manga are marketed towards boys between the ages of 12-18, but a lot of people outside of that demographic enjoy this genre as well. I find myself watching and recommending shōnen shows because of how exceptionally written the plot, the character development, and worldbuilding are. However, problems with female representation stem from the misconception that shōnen is only for boys or that girls don’t enjoy these types of stories. It is frustrating to see how little action and development female characters are given compared to their male counterparts and how often they are sexualized for the sake of comedic relief or fan service. 

NARUTO and NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

The Naruto series follows the journey of Naruto Uzumaki as he achieves his dreams to be acknowledged by the village he lives in and become the Hokage (the leader of the village). It’s a story about saving the world, protecting your loved ones, and believing in yourself.

Almost every person who has watched more than 3 years of anime has seen Naruto; those who haven’t still can recognize characters, references, and general plot points. Yes, it is THAT popular. I knew about the show but, I put off this anime for so long because of the silly reason that Naruto was an annoying brat at the beginning of the series. It took me a few months to build up my courage to pick up the series again— and wow! I was glad I did! I restarted my journey about two months ago and, as of today, I have less than 50 episodes left to watch to finish the series (keep in mind that the complete series has about 700 episodes). I got attached to the characters for their development and their compelling stories. I saw Naruto grow from being a troublemaker to a dependable hero, watched Sasuke go down a dark path for the sake of revenge, and learned about Kakashi and Itachi’s heartbreaking childhoods. But the girls? Where are the girls?

As well written as the story is, girls in Naruto are viewed as support-type characters for the boys; their stories aren’t touched upon and remain the same throughout the series. The lack of development of the girls is best highlighted by Sakura— the main female character and the most hated person from the series, and dare I say, all of anime. At the beginning of the series, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura train together to become ninjas with their teacher, Kakashi. Sasuke was a prodigy and excelled in every task, Sakura was known for her intelligence and chakra control, and Naruto lacked skill yet impulsively charged headfirst towards his enemies. As the show went on, Naruto and Sasuke’s skills have grown on par as they continuously try to learn new powers to one-up the other. But Sakura stayed the same. Even though she gained super strength and trained to become a medical ninja under the Fifth Hokage, her abilities and progress are constantly shadowed by her teammates' flashy powers (look at the picture above). This gap is even more prominent after the time skip in Shippuden where she becomes a “damsel in distress” which annoyed a lot of fans. She had so much potential to become a great character. Even if she was not the strongest ninja, the show could have taken steps to make her valuable in some way even if all they did was make her an efficient support character to Naruto and Sasuke instead of making her seem like she is always in their way. The unbalance caused by the lack of active female roles in Naruto leaves the female audience unrepresented. The female characters' underdevelopment implied that the girls are incompetent and therefore don’t get to make an impact in the story.  

ONE PIECE

I can talk about this show for hours. With 950+ anime episodes and 1000+ manga chapters, One Piece is synonymous with art; it follows the story of Monkey D. Luffy and his crew, the Straw Hat Pirates, on an adventure to find One Piece. Unlike other shōnen stories, One Piece immerses the audience into a mysterious world that is complex, dynamic, and feels real. Every single character is well developed— each of them have insanely detailed backstories, memorable personalities, and compelling motivations making them feel human. The story also tackles unconventional topics such as slavery, racism, the justice system, and classism. I could go on and on listing reasons as to why I love One Piece or why it is worth catching up to the 950 episodes, but I feel like you should let One Piece in and find that out for yourself. 

Unlike Naruto, women take on significant roles in One Piece and are often admired as role models. However, the lack of body diversity and the over-sexualization of the female characters leave a rather unpleasant aftertaste. 

As seen above, they all suffer the same-body syndrome— large breasts, impossibly tiny waists, and skimpy clothing. I get that these are common types of fanservice but, there are plenty of questionable design choices whenever fanservice is prioritized over logic (ie. the top-left girl is supposed to be a gladiator but her outfit does the very opposite of protecting her as it leaves her vital areas exposed). Another issue I have is with Sanji and his behaviour around women. He is the prime example of what the internet would call a ‘simp’ where his perverse tendencies and chivalry clash whenever he is near a female character. I feel like his overprotectiveness toward women and his willingness to die for them is counterintuitive to the powerful portrayal of women in the story. I understand that fanservice isn't going anywhere but the girls’ unrealistic designs and their treatment dilute their complex characterization to mere pretty and delicate objects.

CONCLUSION

From a feminist point of view, Naruto and One Piece have their own shortcomings when it comes to the inclusion and depiction of girls. I particularly chose to talk about them because they are the central faces of the shōnen genre, both of them depict common issues with female representation in most shōnen stories. It is understandable to a certain extent as to why the authors chose to draw/develop their characters, however, the lack of active female characters in shōnen stories fuels the ” shōnen is for boys, therefore, don’t expect female representation” narrative. It would do no harm to write stronger and more complex female characters in these stories, in fact, it would make the stories much more interesting as there is variation in perspectives and experiences— especially now because of the strong societal push toward feminism and the growing female audience consuming anime media. The fact that shounen does target boys is perhaps the most important reason to feature complex, active female characters in these stories—not only as supportive figures or dream girls, but as someone they can relate to and look up to as well.

EXTRA: NEW GENERATION SHŌNEN!

Naruto and One Piece have been in the anime scene for decades, but as societal values shift, many New Generation Shōnen are trying to tackle the inclusion of feminism in their stories. Here are some:

Boku no Hero Academia, one of the primary faces of New Gen Shōnen: A superheroes story where superpowers or quirks rule the world.  Physical advantages male characters may have during fights is insignificant as the winner is decided by their ability to use their power at its full potential and their compatibility with the opponent’s quirk. Women are shown to have different body types, breaking the skinny hourglass stereotype with healthy and muscular bodies. Read more on how BNHA is breaking the moulds here: https://www.animefeminist.com/feature-hero-academia-confronts-shonen-sexism/ 

Mob Psycho 100: A supernatural shōnen where the main character, Mob, struggles with masculinity, battles for self-improvement, and desires to just be an amiable and helpful person. His story breaks the typical toxic masculinity tropes in shonen stories and instead focuses on Mob’s emotional journey to being comfortable with who he is. Read more about this here: https://www.animefeminist.com/anime-feminists-top-25-anime-of-the-decade/

Demon Slayer, another progressive main face of the New Gen Shōnen: A historical supernatural story where women are given major roles and are never looked down upon by their male counterparts. As demon slayers, their attire is unique to each individual yet fit for their job and is not compromised for the sake of fanservice.

- Leanne.

[robin-the-enby]

hey, can I get a DiaLovers matchup? I’m an ENTP, aquarius sun with a sagittarius moon 😎 I’m very extroverted, extremely energetic! I tend to talk a lot, like a lot a lot and really friendly. I think I’m pretty loyal, and I’m v. stubborn and persistent. I really like making new friends!! I’m a very open person. It’s rare that you’ll catch me in a bad mood, and i kind of think of myself as a go getter. Kind of manic ig? I think I’m a fun person🤩

I have a hard time picking up on social cues, and because of that I can come off as really obnoxious and annoying. I’m very liberal with my affection, sometimes i forget about personal space and stuff. Um, I’m kind of airhead I guess? Kinda scatterbrained. Also, I can be really reckless and headstrong in pursuit of my goals

my interests include all things STEM, more specifically chemistry, I’ve placed at ISEF three years in a row. I also really like robotics, although I’m less good at programming. I also have a special taste for internet memes and 80s pop culture. I also really like reading comics. Oh, and I do really well school, studying is another one of my passions! i like to tutor others who are struggling, I think it’s a opportunity to make new friends.

Appearance wise, I’m pretty tall(?) I’m like 5’7.5”. I have a lot of lean muscle and have really long limbs. I could be described as curvy ig?? I look older than I actually am. I’m like, really tan! My hair is big and curly and it reaches my shoulder blades, bleached blonde (natural auburn) and my eyes are dark brown but i like to wear blue contacts. I’ve been told my appearance doesn’t really match my personality lol

Alrighty! I've always loved chemistry, but I don't understand it. I have respect for anyone who does though. Also, my computer froze when I had over a half written and I had to turn it off and on and lost all the progress, so I hope you'll enjoy this XD. That said, I match you with:

Ruki Mukami

Although Ruki is kind of reserved, he is a very soft guy imo.

So naturally he's drawn to your kind personality.

You're basically the most energetic person in the Mukami estate and Ruki often finds himself watching you go about your day with a soft smile.

During conversations, he would let you do the talking, only responding in short sentences and occasional questions when you stop to take your breath.

He is very interested in what you have to say, he's just a man of a few words.

Ruki's also immensely patient, since he has been taking care of his brothers from a pretty young age, so if you are too much to handle sometimes, he'll calmly tell you to tune it down.

Not that he doesn't find your affection and ever lasting energy cute, he's just not very used to it, you'll have to forgive him for that.

Please ramble away about science, mans will be absolutely in love. He wishes he could listen to you like a podcast before going to bed or when he does his portion of chores.

He already found you super pretty and loved your kind nature, to find out that you're so smart as well was so mind blowing for him, because he cannot come up with anything that would make you more perfect.

He doesn't really care about pop culture, but when he finds out you like to read? Oh boy.

Doesn't matter what you like to read, if you agree to read with him, he's over the moon! He with his (probably spell) book and you with a comic book = perfect date.

It really becomes his safe haven, these quiet moments with you, when he allows himself to let go all the stress and just enjoy himself.

He doesn't really get why are memes so funny, he's kind of like a dad when it comes to this, especially if you like the typical abstract, gen z humor.

However, if you persist you may find out he enjoys puns. So if you show him a picture of Shawn Mendes (after you explain who the heck that it) on a grass background with the caption Lawn Mendes, you'll get a nice chuckle out of him.

I can also see you with: Azusa Mukami - He's a sweetheart that would, after you take the time and show him what proper affection looks like, get addicted to your giving personality. He'd love how energetic and smart you are and how you're kind enough to wait for him, since he's a bit slow, literally. The thing is, Azusa has no sense of self worth, so even if he feels a bit choked by you sometimes, he wouldn't tell you anything, because old habits die hard, if you know what I'm saying, so that's something you two wouldhave to work on. Reiji Sakamaki - I almost wanted to include him in the main list, but there are just too many things aspects about your personalities that clash and not in the good way. Reiji would definitely be attracted to your intelligence, your understanding that knowledge and education is important and would love it if you could help him with his experiments (and not be just his guinea pig). However, he'd have the hardest time getting used to your loud, energetic personality. Reiji likes order and quiet and is not above punishing you when you don't quiet down after the stern looks he sends your way. However, I believe that after a lot of work on both of your parts, you could make some compromises and actually be in a healthy relationship.

[bloodstained-ballgowns]

Hello, sorry to bother you but I was just curious about the Scarlett Johansson vs. Disney lawsuit and I saw a lot about it from your tumblr and thought you might know it pretty well. 😅

I read somewhere that she was requesting a 80 million additional pay (which with the addition of her 20 million base salary would be 100 million total) when the simultaneous release was announced, which was based on a hypothetical box office figure similar to Captain Marvel. With the pandemic and all going on, I read a lot of comments saying she was asking for way too much. Added with the supposed Russo brothers' contract worries, I also read comments upset with her for causing this issue.

So I just wanted to ask your opinion on a few things.

1. Do you think there might be a shift in support after more details are released, will people side with Disney more because of the amount asked for during this pandemic?

2. And with more details being released, do you think the lawsuit playing out in public may end up hurting her side more than Disney's?

I just loved reading your previous answers regarding this topic cause it was all so well written and explained, I hope you won't mind me asking this, thank you in advance!

I'm all for her getting her contracts worth but the media releasing articles of how there is no going back for Scarlett and Disney makes me a bit sad we won't be seeing her version of Natasha anymore. Hopefully the whole character doesn't get shelved though.

Hi anon! You're no bother! Thank you for your questions!

I don't know about the $80 million ask based on a hypothetical box office based around Captain Marvel, as I didn't think specific amounts were negotiated before box office actually came to fruition. For example, she earned $15 million up front for Avengers: Endgame, which swelled to $35 million when it earned as much as it did, because back-end deals are based on percentages of revenue (I'm pretty sure). I can imagine the $80 million as a prediction, though. I only know that $50-60 million are the numbers circulating from how much she could win from this lawsuit.

I've seen the same comments "upset with her for causing this issue", and their ignorance is really fascinating to me because she didn't create the issue? Disney created the issue? She's speaking on the issue that's been growing since streaming services were born, she's increasing awareness around this issue, she's putting it in the spotlight. People somehow seem think that holding corporations accountable will mean that they stop producing the media so many enjoy (I legit saw a post that said, almost word for word, "scarlett shouldn't have sued because if disney pays her all that money then they won't have any left for loki season 2" and the stupidity of that statement is breathtaking).

1. Do you think there might be a shift in support after more details are released, will people side with Disney more because of the amount asked for during this pandemic?

No, at this point in the case, I don't think more details will shift allegiances. If people are not already siding with Scarlett, knowing her claims, having read Disney's defence, and realising the larger implications of the case, I don't believe any more information will change that. If she wins, there may be a shift, because people love to say they were right, but otherwise, no.

From what I've seen, and this may just be my corner of the internet, or because discourse has died down a bit, but I would set the support margins at about 60/40 in Scarlett's favour so far. The 40% seems to mainly be made up of people who either are uneducated on the topic, think that being 'problematic' means she deserves mistreatment, or are misogynists. They are accounts with 13 followers arguing in comments sections. Inversely, the 60% is made up of people who matter. She has the support of the industry behind her, the endorsement of her coworkers, and new projects lined up to prove it (e.g. the star-studded Wes Anderson picture and Ghosted with Chris Evans). The Star Wars writers including Alan Dean Foster who went up against Disney last year with similar allegations have also thrown their support behind her.

So I hope you can see where I'm coming from when I say that there may not be a shift, but it doesn't really matter because Disney is not the only hand that feeds her. In fact, the others are eager, it seems.

2. And with more details being released, do you think the lawsuit playing out in public may end up hurting her side more than Disney's?

It's hard to say, anon, but there's a reason Disney's filing for the case to go to arbitration instead of court. They want it settled quietly, because it's making them look bad and from what details we do know, Scarlett's case is legitimate. These lawsuits are compromising their whole "happiest place in the world" family-friendly image. The curtain has been dropped and now that much of their insidiousness is out in the open, it will change how people see them. Many won't let them hide behind Mickey Mouse when they issue statements calling their actors "callous".

However, none of the consequences will lead to the destruction of the Disney corporation or something. It's not going to go up in flames. They'll be fine.

Scarlett is walking a much finer line. As a person instead of a company, and as a woman, she is in a much more vulnerable position (not at all as vulnerable as a woman of colour though). There was a very real possibility that she would be rocking the boat so much that she would fall out and no one would help her back in (also, she's rich, but losing $50 million, probably more, would put a huge dent in her bank account). There's also a reason why she, her team, and her lawyers wanted it public, anon. A) If this was done all very hush hush, it would be a lot harder to hold Disney accountable next time something like this happens. She knows exactly how much this could change things, a cover up would limit the fallout. B) Online backlash matters very little to her. Her lawyers/PR team probably estimated exactly how much support (or lack of thereof) this move would garner, but it's not like tweets saying "scarjo is greedy and selfish" are going to have any bearing in court, so I expect that she remains unbothered. In short, she has more to lose, but her 'side' probably won't be hurt more than Disney's by this.

I'm glad you found those posts informative! I try :)

I know, it's sad that the door on MCU!Natasha is truly shut and bolted. I have the same fears of her being shelved. I just hope they continue with old characters in new animation, like What If...?, and that at some point in the future, the MCU either gets a reboot, or a Black Widow story is curated for the silver screen outside of the Disney-Marvel umbrella.

Sorry this was so long, I struggle with concision. Again, thanks for dropping into my ask box, anon! Hope this was in any way helpful.