#there is potential here to explore the topic

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Omg finally someone else knows about the Charmie ship, I was starting to think it was a fever dream that I dreamt up lol. People always bring up Taekook and Larry as examples of bad shipping practices but Charmies were delusional too. It’s interesting how these problematic ships have specific terminology associated with them/their industry. Larry had a ‘beard’, Taekook had an opposing ‘fanservice’ ship and Charmie had a ‘PR relationships’. Observing the ships of especially higher profile celebs/idols is so interesting to witness because it highlights the patriarch society we live in. Like you mentioned, these ships really display how women consciously/subconsciously hate on other women they perceive to be threats to their ship or fantasy. The enemy of these ships are usually women (Harry+Louis+Timothee+Armie’s girlfriends/wives) or men that they feminize (Jimin). Interesting topic.

You made an interesting observation at the end regarding Jimin. The taekook narrative is different in comparison to other big slash ships because the so called "enemy" has a different gender. For larry or charmie, the woman is the intruder so hating her it's like an automatic response. She's there to disrupt the fantasy and also expose the fantasy at the same time.

Because the result is that the shippers are more interested in actively fetishizing a gay relationship and gay men. They are fascinated with it, although at the same time they apply heteronormative definitions to it. One is the woman with any particular gender stereotypes, the other one is the man, with its own set of gender stereotypes. This is then transposed into the way they write fanfiction, how they draw the couple. They have the obsession with coming out, of praying for their eternal love. Once you see such vocabulary, it makes it all more clear. And then something happens, a woman comes into play and that's a problem. They already have the woman, the feminized version of one of the men in the ship, which is acceptable because it's a product of their imagination and a self insert at the same time.

Now, taekookers are having to deal with a bigger problem. Their biggest threat in their view is in this case a man. That disrupts the fantasy even more. So in order to make it all work, they have to change how they view that man. They need to reduce him, to strip him of his masculinity because his masculinity puts him as equal as those other two men. And him being an equal makes it a threat. Because in the case of taekook where the shippers believe that Tae and JK are in love with each other and that makes them automatically attracted to the same gender, hence gay (I'm just telling how their fantasy works), it means that there is the possibility of Jungkook (never Tae) to be attracted to Jimin. Because he is a man. That's why ships involving Tae/JK and a woman do not pose a "real" threat in the eyes of the shippers. They laugh at it because they truly believe JK and Tae are together. But by believing that, they are also aware, deep down, that Jungkook as a presumably gay man, could also be attracted to another man - Jimin.

So because this is such an unacceptable scenario, they have to femininize Jimin. He cannot be seen at the same level of a gay man as JK and Tae. Hating Jimin in that position would reveal that they can be homophobic and how they mostly fetishize a gay relationship. In turn, Jimin is portrayed as a woman. A woman that can be hated, the type that through the patriarchal conditioning, is seen as a threat to other women. For example, the femme fatale, the seductress, the slut, the whore. All words used by taekookers. Sometimes they latch onto made up rumors in which they return Jimin his masculinity if it involves some woman, or him supposedly becoming a father. But that doesn't happen often. Jimin is also seen as a man who could be gay only when once again, they find another man to ship him with. Be it Yoongi, or his friends in his private life. In both these scenarios, Jimin can be a man and attracted to other men. But the minute he is next to Jungkook, he cannot be that anymore. He is no longer potentially a man with whom Jungkook may cheat, but a home wrecker, which is usually a term used for women. Jimin's feminine qualities which show up in his behavior in a positive sense (he is more nurturing, he is in tune with his emotions, etc) are completely dismissed. He is patriarchaly feminized.

*Jimin and gender identity/sexuality discussion.

[wavebiders]

One thing that playing as a Selunite puts emphasis that I really like is that, after saving Aylin up until her personal quest in act 3, Shadowheart isn't actually ready to commit to serving Selune?

There's some hints of it in any playthrough, but if you play as a Selunite there's a few dialogue options where you can talk about her becoming closer to the Moonmaiden and she'll just be kinda like "after all I just went through with my goddess I'm a little hesitant to jump right to another one"

It's good because she *should* get that mourning period before deciding to serve another higher power(or if she even wants to serve one at all but Shadowheart's faith is important to her at the end of the day), but also because it makes clear that Selune is granting her her divine powers even without receiving worship in return

[mona-liar]

Good god I am taking the most depressing seminar this semester it's been an hour since i got out and I still feel empty and on the verge of crying

[bootlegspiders]

Hey, so for Watcher fans who may not wanna pay for another subscription or just wanna watch something new here are some other youtubers you should take a look at if you want to get a spook or learn some history

(* = potentially triggering topics covered usually associated with crimes, so be careful)

Ghost Hunting and general spooky vibes:

AmysCrypt - Your typical ghost hunting show with two Australians traveling the world, though I will say they do go to places I've never heard of before and they do very good research. And there are some goofs along with the spooks.

The Ouija Brothers - Two British dudes finding ghosts in England. The vibes are generally pretty chill and it's a good time

The Paranormal Scholar - A mixed bag of all paranormal happenings from ghosts to demons to cryptids and aliens. Sort of an overview to deepdives on various paranormal occurrences. The research is immaculate and their voice is very soothing in my opinion.

Paranormal Quest - Ghost hunting in the US, sometimes goofy sometimes serious, but they do go to some interesting places and some familiar ones too

Weird History:

ObsoleteOddity* - This guy is great, like 80% of the things he covers I've never heard of before. Very atmospheric, fun little visuals, and a large variety of weird events and people for topics.

Georgia Marie* - A little bit of everything, but she focuses on strange things that have happened, lgbt history, true crime, and historical disasters. She covers enough of everything that I'm sure you'll find something

Stefanie Valentine* - I'm not sure if she even posts anymore, but I thought what she was doing was great. Think Vampira or Elvira but for older true crime and ghost stories, I think the latest covered would have been like early 1900s. Idk I just thought it was like a cute spooky lil storytime

Caitlin Doughty or Ask A Mortician* - Pretty sure y'all would know who she is but just in case, she's a mortician who covers topics relating to death! From odd ways people have died, or odd things that have happened to people after they've died. And just odd or tragic things that have happened through history. It's silly, but done with levity and care and respect the topics deserve.

General History:

Part-Time Explorer - Mostly history on ships and ghost towns with the occasional train. Lots of research and interviews, very well done and worth checking out even if it may not be your thing.

History's Forgotten People - Talks about sometimes obscure, or sometimes not, historical individuals. Even if you've heard of the person in the topic, they'll talk on something obscure about that person.

History Tea Time with Lindsay Holiday - A heavy focus on royalty around the world, a generally upbeat dive into historic individuals.

(Or you could always go watch time team, that's an option and it's my guilty pleasure love me some archeology)

True Crime:

There are so many out there, so I'll just recommend two of my favorites

Gabulosis* - She focuses on vintage cases 20 years or older (literally in her opener) and is well researched and respectful. Another one that talks on cases I've never heard of that deserve to be heard.

Mysterious WV* - True crime and missing persons based in the West Virginia area and neighboring states. Idk how to even explain the vibes. This guy is just great please watch him trust me you won't be disappointed.

That's all for now, feel free to add your own recs out there!

[kairologia]

Your 12th house gifts and areas you struggle with most, according to your rising sign.

The 12th House is traditionally a desolate, dark, and isolating place. But what insights might you gain, were you to confront and explore that which you've been avoiding? Not unlike how every chart has a “natal promise”, every 12H has positive potential and negative burdens to show for itself. Here, we shall dive into that. Use Whole Sign Houses.

P.S: one configuration cannot explain everything about you as a person with a full-chart and a bunch of unique personal experiences, so if you do not relate to everything, that’s fine. ♥

— Aries Rising with Pisces in the 12H:

· Gift: Aries risings are profoundly intuitive & empathetic and this fact is oft understated. These people tend to be blessed with creativity & plenty of artistic gifts, and are incredibly inspirational to those around them. The teacher that inspires their students so profoundly they remain unforgotten even decades later, the hype man that supports their friend group’s endeavors most — these archetypes are found across the zodiac spectrum, but at an unusually high concentration among Aries risings.

· Struggle: they tend to feel overwhelmed by their unspoken emotions and have a hard time asserting personal boundaries. Aries rising natives tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves, and have a hard time keeping things in. If they *feel* something, they will make it known.

— Taurus Rising with Aries in the 12H:

· Gift: Taurus risings are blessed with incredible resiliency, & can overcome anything if they so desire. They tend to enjoy most & even be skilled at artistic pursuits that revolve around the erotic &/or grotesque. They are rarely put off by things, and are the type of people that can listen to you vent about all sorts of topics, no matter how ‘gross’ or taboo.

· Struggle: ironically, Taurus rising natives tend to simultaneously be very impatient while also being inclined to repressing and internalizing all sorts of emotions, not unlike a dormant volcano, leading to inner and outer conflict. They tend to be hot-headed and struggle letting go of matters they found hurtful.

— Gemini Rising with Taurus in the 12H:

· Gift: These people are incredibly grounded intellectually and it shines through their mental clarity and ability to communicate with precision. Though they may appear scatterbrained to others, their mind palace is incredibly well-compartmentalized. They tend to be great at artistic pursuits that call upon multiple senses at once and provide strong sensorial experiences.

· Struggle: Gemini rising natives tend to overanalyze emotions, which hinders the spontaneity and adaptative quality associated with other Gemini placements. They also tend to repress their desire for relational pleasure and connection, and have a hard time accepting that even they desire to connect with others.

— Cancer Rising with Gemini in the 12H:

· Gift: Cancer risings are capable of understanding the perspective of others with incredible ease, which grants them a versatile penmanship & communication skillset. They tend to excel at communication, writing, teaching, getting things across, as no matter how complex the topic at hand they will manage to break it down to others in a manner that is simple enough to be understood by anyone — in part explaining why they tend to be so great with kids.

· Struggle: Cancer rising natives often have a hard time reconciling rational thought with emotional intuition, leading to indecision — growing up, possibly as a defense mechanism, most Cancer risings tend to pick one end of the emotion vs reason spectrum and sticking to it, leading to unavoidable inner tension in adulthood.

— Leo Rising with Cancer in the 12H:

· Gift: not unlike Aries risings, their intuitive senses & understanding of other people’s hidden emotions are widely underestimated. Their ability to foster deep emotional connections with others & nurture those around them is second to none. They also tend to have the very rich & versatile emotional inner world that is often associated with water moons – in part explaining why they’re known for their creativity & dramatic flair.

· Struggle: Leo risings have a tendency to retreat into isolation upon feeling vulnerable. They tend to repress their feelings from the outside world, and hardly feel comfortable enough to let anyone in. In more extreme cases, there might even be a propensity towards denying certain emotions and repressing them altogether. They have a very polished facade & a strong sense of self, and consequently will hardly appreciate breaking out of character.

— Virgo Rising with Leo in the 12H:

· Gift: Virgo risings are known for telling it like it is — their authentic manner of self-expression and courage to confront anything that gets in their way is their signature brand. Though many Virgo risings tend to prefer blending in and going unnoticed, they’re in actuality extremely creative, and will hardly let other people’s narrative steer them at will.

- Struggle: a Virgo rising’s biggest critic is themselves, and oftentimes they tend to forget that their own desire to be perfect may not be shared by others, as most people value authenticity over perfection — leading to Virgo rising natives feeling rejected by those around them, as their desire to advise and help is inextricably linked to their sense of self. They tend not to realize that said advice is often unwarranted and unsought for, consequently taking everything to heart, which may result in them struggling with self-acceptance and vulnerability.

— Libra Rising with Virgo in the 12H:

· Gift: Libra risings have mastered the art of knowing that multiple things can be true at once, & their analytical minds are loaded with insight into hidden dynamics & truths. They tend to favor a practical approach to resolving emotional conflicts, which makes them seem as though they fear & avoid conflict, when in truth they had already assessed the situation and figured out the best path to returning to center.

· Struggle: Libra risings repress thought & opinion to keep the peace, & consequently feel as though their opinions matter less or not at all to those around them — which, once brought up, might come across as a point of confusion to those around them who generally value their insights immensely. They also tend to overanalyze emotions, be it their own or those of others, and thus struggle with expressing deeper feelings, or believing others to begin with, leading to inner conflict.

— Scorpio Rising with Libra in the 12H:

· Gift: Scorpio risings posess the ability to understand subconscious patterns no matter how convoluted they may be. Even at times where they struggle with understanding themselves, their emotions, desires and behavioural patterns, those of others are hardly a secret to them.

· Struggle: the 12th house is a lesson on balance & compromise for Scorpio risings. Their desire for harmony in inner conflicts is often at odds with their own subjectivity & inclination towards taking extremes in their daily lives, so they tend to struggle immensely with balance. They simultaneously obsess over & repress their hidden desires & preferences, leading to power struggles within the self. They also tend to struggle with forming connections with others, whether it’s due to failed past connections or an inherent fear of commitment or merely an extreme sense of detachment.

— Sagittarius Rising with Scorpio in the 12H:

· Gift: Sagittarius risings are known for their fearlessness and inclination towards spiritual & occult pursuits. A Sagittarius rising is never one to say no to or back down from new experiences, and have a sense of freedom that is defining to their personhood. Everyday is a potential new lesson to these people.

· Struggle: the same sense of freedom may lead to their tendency towards escapism. They tend to struggle with confronting their less superficial, deeper emotions, & may repress their anger a lot in their youth — leading to their being a lot more explosive and thrill-seeking in adulthood. Sagittarius risings are the type to prefer trying anything – even things many would advise against, just to prove a point, whether to themselves or others – as they believe they have no teacher other than life itself.

— Capricorn Rising with Sagittarius in the 12H:

· Gift: Capricorn risings are known for their philosophical perspective & optimistic outlook on challenges, which often translates to an ability to grow wiser at a faster rate than their peers. Their beliefs & values play a crucial role in their selfhood, so they tend to invest a lot of time into spiritual pursuits.

· Struggle: the flip side of their beliefs and values shaping their inner world in a way that is hard to get across to others is that they may be the type to struggle with forming connections with people who do not share the same beliefs & philosophies. They also tend to fear failure more than anything, & struggle to surrender to their own place in the grander scheme of things — these two points are inextricably linked and in order to grow past either, you as a Capricorn rising ought to address both simultaneously.

— Aquarius Rising with Capricorn in the 12H :

· Gift: Incredibly disciplined and persevering in confronting their inner fears. Overtime, they tend to develop a sense of stability and self-mastery that is second to none. While not intuitive in the stereotypical sense, they tend to have inexplicable hunches about things that hardly ever turn out to be incorrect. They tend to live well with & within chaos, sometimes at the expense of their well-being.

· Struggle: they tend to repress emotions and have a strong fear of vulnerability, which hinders their ability to form intimate connections and grow emotionally — they feel as though they have a built-in indestructible wall blocking them out & holding them back from everyone else. They may struggle with becoming responsible, or feel as though they matured too soon. Sometimes, it’s a bit of both.

— Pisces Rising with Aquarius in the 12H:

· Gift: Pisces risings are infinitely more rational than they are believed to be. They have an uncanny approach to understanding subconscious patterns, & tend to reason their way through any situation before reaching a judgement. Very insightful people who tend to be incredibly inquisitive as well, and would prod answers out of anyone if they so desire.

· Struggle: Pisces risings tend to isolate often, whether as a way to recalibrate or just out of preference. Natives of this rising sign, especially those with Air moons, often struggle with detachment and may find it hard to relate to statements implying they are inclined towards emotionality. These people often have or had a “weird kid” reputation ascribed to them by their peers that often stuck well into adulthood.

If you’d like a reading, more details can be found here!

[maryrouille]

Toxic romanticization of studying

In a word of introduction, my profile partly shows that studying and exploring is wonderful. But as a person involved in science*, I would like to show healthy and true patterns of this beautiful adventure in acquiring knowledge.

The inspiration for writing this post this time was not the phenomenon from Tumblr (although you can also observe it here), but from Pinterest. There you can come across cycles composed of quotes and photos whose aim is to motivate young girls to learn, succeed and get good grades. These images often also show examples of characters from movies, TV series or real life that you can aspire to be like. Overall, I have to agree that it really works! But I would like to draw attention to certain elements that need to be verified.

1. You shouldn't get up at 5am

First of all, the correct amount of sleep is one of the most important factors affecting the proper and effective functioning of our brain. During sleep, nerve cells regenerate, organize information acquired during the day and consolidate memory traces, which is directly related to learning. Lack of sleep increases impulsivity, deepens negative thinking and slows down the body's reaction time!

2. You can be a genius without good grades

Of course, good grades are a pleasant confirmation of our knowledge and praise for hard work. However, sometimes it is worth considering whether the structure of exams themselves, especially those with closed questions, affects the results. We often study for one specific exam, the knowledge of which may be very… limited and sometimes not useful, so it is worth prioritizing the topics that we study hard.

3. It's not cool to think you're better than others

We are different and have different priorities in life. It is also worth considering how many people escape from the rat race and start a slow, stress-free life. So we have to agree that judging people based on grades or responses under stress (sic!) is not cool.

The good thing about romanticizing studying

As I have already said, these types of collages are really motivating. So let's talk about what's great about them and what's worth highlighting and saving for later.

1. Knowledge is beautiful, but your outfit and surroundings can also be

We know that we should never judge a book by its cover, but… the issue of social perception painfully confirms that we do and will continue to do so because this is how our brains work. And isn't it nice when someone looks at us and thinks this girl is so classy?

Moreover, a nice outfit that makes us feel good gives us a lot of self-confidence. There are also many studies confirming the positive impact on motivation and concentration of a neat and aesthetic workplace.

2. Not just cramming, but also discovering

Broadening your horizons is easier with passion and real commitment. And to achieve this, the topics must really interest us. Not everyone has yet found something that they are extremely passionate about in science, so that is why you have to dig deeper and discover different areas.

3. Don't be afraid to use your knowledge in practice

Schools and universities, unfortunately, have their own rules and they do not always allow you to show your 100% potential. Thus, share your knowledge with others externally, write essays, blog and social media. This form of activity also makes you learn things faster and easier. In addition, contacts with others will expand your knowledge.

Therefore, I must say that it is worth choosing your inspirations carefully. Nothing helps you enjoy studying better than a clear head and lack of prejudices.

*This post was inspired by my own experience with studying. If anyone is interested, I think I can share my mistakes that did not help me in an academic adventure :)

[styllwaters]

KNIGHT ETHNIC GROUPS, ORDERS AND CULTURES: A GUIDE

MAP OF ETTERA (Knight Homeplanet)

Standard map [continents shown]

Regional map [territories shown]

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

I have here a weeks worth of writing and art because I for some reason enjoy torturing myself! I've been slaving away at this for so long but it's finally done and polished. So! As promised, I'm gonna talk a bit about the different Knight cultures/ethnicities, territories and general social structure.

Knights are one of my alien sophont civilisations from my Vivere 44 headworld. Here are more links from my previous posts:

Introductory post

Knight deities

Knight languages and names

With that being said, worldbuilding textwalls below the cut!

____

First, an explanation of the maps.

CONTINENTS

There are three main continents on Ettera. The two polar landmasses are Thannoeh in the northern end and Nahrui in the southern end. Thannoeh is divided by east and west, and is home to the two major Polar Knight nations. Nahrui is not occupied by any, aside from explorers or scientists. For many Knights, it is a strange, enigmatic land and a topic of great curiosity. In the middle is Val-srat; the central continent inhabited by Mountain and Plains Knights. The landmass is named as such because it is often represented in folklore as a Knight, with Valazear (the ‘Host’) being the southern Plains territories and Srati (the ‘Helmet’) being the northern Mountain territories. The Ihmna Stretch is the section of land connecting the two countries - ‘Ihmna’ is the Ferhahti word for the Integrator organ which joins the host and helmet’s consciousness.

Plant life on Ettera takes on hues of red and orange.

____

Before I get into the different ethnicities, I should elaborate more on how Knight Orders are structured and the different titles; some of the clothing articles are specific to status.

SOCIAL STRUCTURE

Most Knights live in groups called ‘Orders’, which I talked more about in this ask.

The standard roles for an Order are as follows:

Commander - Makes decisions, protects and supports the group. Commanders lead the Order across difficult terrain, plan out hunts, and take care of their members. A Commander might be chosen based on generational succession, experience, or strength. Depending on the rules of the Order, a Commander might be challenged by a Knight who desires their position, although only an elite or lieutenant would be permitted to do this. In more traditional and conservative orders Commanders are always Pike-forts.

Lieutenant - Second in command. The Lieutenant is the Commander’s primary advisor and runs the Order when they are unable to. A Commander may train their lieutenant to one day take their place as leader, or a lieutenant might serve multiple generations of Commanders without ever challenging them.

Elites - A selection of Knight soldiers who are exceptionally experienced, strong and fast. Highly respected by the rest of the Order and carry out important duties such as organisation. They have the highest chance of being the next lieutenant or Commander. 

Soldiers - The main body of the Order, fully grown Knights who are proficient in all the skills necessary for survival. Soldiers are tasked with a variety of jobs to keep the Order healthy and running: they are also farmers, medics, entertainers, strategists, builders, etc. 

Scouts - Scouts are Knights who make reconnaissance trips for the Order. Their job is to gather information about a potential area to settle or travel through. Scouts also have a range of other responsibilities, such as acting as lookouts, messengers, and taking care of Pages.

There are two types of Scouts - temporary and permanent. Temporary scouts are Squires (16-17 years) who have completed their training and are performing Expeditions, which they are required to do before becoming a full soldier. On Expeditions two or three Scouts will travel a certain distance away from the Order, sometimes miles away, to deliver goods to other Orders or to simply evaluate an area/route. Permanent scouts are lower-ranked Knights who are unable to become Soldiers, prefer a caretaker role, or have been relegated to the position.

Squires - Knights in training. Squires learn from a Soldier assigned to teach them. They may be tutored one-on-one, or taught in a group. They learn the ways of the Order and the world around them. Squires will often be assigned small hunting trips with their tutor, or cleaning jobs. Typically aged 7-15 years.

Pages - The youth of the Order, Knights aged 0-6 years. The pages are fiercely protected by every member of the Order. A newborn Helmet or Host will stay with their birth parent/s until they have assimilated, in which care duty is passed on to a permanent Scout. The Scout raises the Pages alongside several others until they are ready to become Squires.

This structure originated from Mountain Orders and spread to Plains and Polar regions a long time ago. Of course, not every Order follows this plan exactly, and there are countless variations. Some Knights don't live in Orders at all, and may live in pairs (which is common for travelling merchants and explorers) or small groups. Very rarely, a Knight may travel alone. This is the case for exiles.

____

You may already be familiar with the Mountain, Plains and Polar Knight regional varieties, but within these subspecies are various ethnic groups.

THE ETHNICITIES

✦ MOUNTAIN ✦

✦ Ferhahti [Ferhaht]

The Ferhahti Knights are an ethnic group located in the Ferhaht territory of Srati. Their thick fur is of various shades of grey and grey-blue. Their clothing styles are typically beige and tan, often complete with rectangular tassels and red accents. The Ferhahti have a ‘New Years’ festival called Khulaam in which they call upon Etteran spirits to bless them with good harvests, hunting and rain. During these festivals there is music, food, dancing and socialising with others. Allied Orders, usually 2-5, will come together to celebrate. Celebrations last five days. Alliances may be temporary or long-lasting, but the Orders will go on a hunt on the final day to bring down a large quarry. Oftentimes there will be a ‘Herald’ dancer who bears a flag on their horn, depicting glyphs of good fortune. 

Since the Ferhahti and Kaata territories are neighbouring, and have no physical borders, Orders from both lands will often meet to trade goods and information. Many Plains-Mountain hybrids are of Ferhahti and Kaata descent due to the close proximity of the nations. 

NOTE: Plains and Mountain Knights are capable of producing hybrid offspring, although they will be infertile. Neither Plains nor Mountain Knights can produce viable hybrids with Polar Knights.

✦ Fejga [Fejg]

Fejga Knights (pronounced Fej-ya) make their home in the Fejg archipelago. They are generally of a bulkier physique than other Mountain Knights, have a coat of thick fur and are well adjusted to chillier climates. They also sport a ‘saddle’ marking on their backs and are likely to have mottled/freckled patterns and blue eyes. Their Orders are partially seafaring, with many sailing from island to island in magnificent ships. Fishing is a large part of their lifestyles as the sea provides a stable source of food. 

Their clothes are frequently made from leather and wool from domesticated animals. It is deceptively thin, as their pelts already provide natural insulation from the cold. Fejga Commanders wear three silver piercings on their Helmets.

✦ Svunacht [Svun]

Svunacht Knights live within the mountain-bordered territory of Svun and the island of Naahek. Orders have a special ceremony for choosing their Commander. The next in line, usually a chosen Host and Helmet born of the previous Commander and their partner, must journey across the Asall mountain range which borders Svun. It is a treacherous, long passage, and requires the Knight to wear a mask to block out the searing winds. They must also wear a spiked collar as a traditional accessory and safety measure to deter larger predators which roam the mountains. They are forbidden from carrying firearms, only armed with a knife, their wits, and natural defences. Ceremonial garments are required, passed down through generations, and three slips of fabric are worn on their horn for good luck: representing strength, wisdom and tenacity. The journey, called the Meha, is the final step in a long series of rigorous training for future successors. 

The painting of Helmets is also a large part of Svunacht culture. It is typically only reserved for Commanders, Lieutenants or Elites. 

★ PLAINS ★

★ Kaata [Kaat]

Kaata Knight Orders inhabit the deserts of Kaat. They are perfectly suited to desert life, their tan coats reducing heat absorbed from the sun. Kaata Knights make their clothing from woven fibres of plants that are garnished with gold pigments derived from a natural mineral found in the sands. They are especially known for their proficiency in fine crafts, and often trade jewellery to Ferhahti Orders across the Ihmna Stretch connecting Kaat and Ferhaht. Kaata clothing tends to be highly detailed and ornamental, with shiny beads adorning arm cuffs, necklaces, mandible rings and horn sleeves. The many gemstone and fossil deposits in Kaat are also incorporated into their styles. Like the Svunacht Knights, Kaata also paint their Helmets, although the practice is not restricted to any particular titles.

★ Saisala [Saisal]

Saisala Knights live in and around the deltas and rivers of Saisal, the southernmost territory of Val-srat. The area is filled with marshlands and everglades, and the weather is more wet and humid than the dry plains of Kaat. Saisala forts sport a dark reddish mane that grows right down their backs and bears some resemblance to maned wolves. Their pikes have hooked horns and sloping spines, as well as more ‘splotchy’ red stripes. Their Helmet eyes also have a pale ring around their pupils.

Saisala clothing styles are characterised by draping, ovular shapes and translucent sections of fabric. The green and gold drapes in the drawing are traditional wedding garments, complete with rounded tassels and a horn extension for pikes. The hanging ‘coins’ have engravings which tell a short but sweet poem.

★ Yaemioui [Yaemiou]

Yaemioui Orders live in a similar environment to Saisala Knights, in the wetland territories of Yaemiou. Their coats are pale like Kaata, but come in a greater combination of hues such as orange, grey and vermilion. Fun fact: all Plains Host pups are born with faint spots to help them camouflage, like lion cubs. Most lose these markings as they grow older, but Yaemioui hosts retain them even in adulthood. Their patterns are similar to painted dogs. The Yaemioui have a rich storytelling culture and have records dating back thousands of years.

Their clothing styles utilise dusky, non-bright colours that are usually two-piece. The outfit in the picture is worn by an elder Pike-fort who has carried and sired many offspring. The spine extensions are an indicator of age and experience, and a mark of high respect. The scarf around their neck depicts circles symbolising their Helmet children, and the circles on the larger cloth represent their Host progeny. 

★ Balkzaiinu [Balkzaii]

On the island of Balkzaii reside the Balkzaiinu Knights, who have dark stripes on both their Hosts and Helmets and short curly fur. Unlike other Orders, Balkzaiinu communities rarely ever hunt - they were one of the first countries to develop farming and agriculture, and import a lot of domesticated animals to Saisal and Yaemiou. They are also the only country that has no Commanders in their Orders, and decisions are made by a council of higher-ups. They live in a tropical climate which receives lots of rainfall and cyclones. They are also masters in boat making and sailing, and contacted the mainland several centuries ago. Balkzaiinu have different decency standards than other Plains Knights, and in their culture it is considered proper to cover the neck area. Their clothing is generally layered and contains colourful, square designs.

✧ POLAR ✧

✧ Aikka [Ehtte Thannoeh]

Aikka Knights have domain over the Eastern section of Thannoeh. The polar word for East is Ehtte, and West Uesse. Since the country is so close to the Fegj archipelago, the two have been in contact for a long time.

Aikka have pristine white fur and a slightly bluish tinge to their Helmets. As with all Polar Knights, they are much smaller than their Plains or Mountain relatives, but are incredibly tough and hardy as a result of surviving in one of the harshest biomes. Ehtte Thannoeh is associated with scientific prowess, discovery and knowledge, and many famous Knight explorers are from Thannoeh. There are several research stations on Nahrui that are run and managed by Aikka; they have no difficulty working in the icy environment. Aikka Knights are also experts in carving, sculpting figurines and charms from the ivory tusks of marine animals. The outfit depicted in the drawing shows an Aikka Scout wearing a pendant with a carved basilosaurus-like animal for spiritual protection. These pendants are often given by parents to children. Their coat has six pockets for navigational instruments, goggles, knives, a spyglass, medical equipment and more. 

✧ Myet [Uesse Thannoeh]

Myet Orders have less contact with other regions than Aikka. Residing in Uesse Thannoeh, Many of them live further inland. Myet Hosts have a more yellowish tinge to their fur and their Pike Helmets have a tan stripe. The Helmets also have a more rounded 'snout'. They have managed to domesticate a large predator which defends their camps and is used as a mount/companion. Like the Balkzaiinu, Myet Orders have a different structure than most, having two Commanders, usually a mated pair, and no lieutenants or elites.

Myet clothing is more minimal than Aikka styles. They usually cover the back with a ‘saddle’ and manipulators with gloves. The outfit drawn is of a Commander, distinguished by the ring of fabric around their horn and eye makeup. In their backpack they carry hunting weapons, and wear a knife sheathed at their side.

_________________

And that's a wrap! Thank you for reading, this project is truly a delight to work on. I leave you with some messy concept art I did a while ago for Mountain Knight clothing styles.

[ivesambrose]

ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ᴘᴀꜱꜱɪᴏɴꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪᴅᴅᴇɴ ᴛᴀʟᴇɴᴛꜱ

1. 2. 3.

╚══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╝°❈°╚══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╝

If you feel lost, aimless, overwhelmed or unsure in regards to yourself this has found it's way to you at the right time.

Personal Readings

Masterpost

Thank you for the tip! 🌹

Picture 1

A lot of you are burnt by your own ambitions and a need to prove something. You quietly wonder if you're even passionate about anything anymore or you are but do not what to do, where to start so you end up spacing out and procrastinating. Likely you were made to believe that if what gets you excited and happy doesn't automatically put you on the map and bring you money in traditional ways then it's practically useless.

You have in a way put yourself down consistently due to these external projections.

Of what I'm picking up on some of you are passionate about the following :

- Dancing

- Fitness

- Makeup

- Music

- The occult

- crafting something intricate such as designing jewellery or curating them

- A select few might be into taxidermy, herbology and even archeology

- A combination of the above, some of you have your own allure and might want to get into modelling, styling, dancing and design. You want to express yourself freely including your sensual as well as spiritual and esoteric side.

You want to be known but you want to stand out, with your accumulated power you want to guide others too, make them feel less alone and more understood and yet you want to be an enigma and mystery. You do have a strong potential to be a muse to many.

Your hidden talents:

- Something that is coming through significantly that it is something from your past/childhood/early teens that you had to sacrifice/were made to sacrifice even if you cared for it deeply and wanted to nurture it. It makes you bitter to this day because you were naturally good at it.

- Some of you should definitely consider working for animals especially birds. You have a gift to heal and develop empathy with them.

- Some of you can end up being excellent bakers and decorators.

A lot you can find success in the entertainment industry, media, running your own business and being your own boss, you have excellent leadership skills and determination it's just that you haven't gotten the chance to explore that side of yourself yet.

The advice here is to only look back at the past to pick up what you had left and walk ahead. Become your friend and ask your own subconscious to show the way, trust me you will be shown when you least expect it.

Picture 2

You simply love to learn and acquire knowledge. You could have specific subject(s) you're drawn to or you don't even like limiting yourself to that. You'd rather be an eternal student. I wouldn't be surprised if you were drawn to picture 1 or 3 as well. You have a thrist that sometimes almost feels insatiable.

You are rather intellectual and often give very sound advice. Mainly cuz you are highly self aware and very intuitive.

Regardless of anything else, you seek inspiration and adventure above all. You do tend to get bored with just one thing easily.

Of what I'm picking up on, some of you are passionate about the following:

- Learning, experimenting, teaching and innovating. Again this could be any topic or multiple. Could be something as literature and academics or physics or could even be cooking or carving wood. You could even be here educating people about Gothic architecture or the human anatomy. Or all of this. You're not meant to confine yourself.

- A lot of you seek travel and adventure. Even be passionate about extreme sports.

- Languages and culture.

- Some of you want to try and do everything, experience different things and don't want to niche yourself down. Your passion can simply be experiencing your life to the fullest so you have wisdom to give and stories to narrate and memories to look back on and trust me, that is more than enough.

Which quickly brings me to your hidden talents because you're supressing quite a few:

- Some of you can be excellent astrologers or even astronomers.

- A lot of you can read into symbolisms real. You can be a gifted psychic too if you aren't aware already.

- You can be really good at sports like archery, fencing, MMA etc

- Creative direction, photography is also coming through.

- You're very good with your words, whether it be in writing or speaking.

You are rather mutable and a very poised individual too, you can easily influence the people you come in touch with. Some of you can be good speakers, representatives or the face of a brand. Whatever you do, you end up being very good at it whether you like it or not.

The advice is to simply continue what you're doing, you're not as lost as you think you are. Keep making connections and continue being yourself instead of trying to make yourself small and fit in or follow trends or the algorithm.

Picture 3

You feel like a misfit and an outsider so much so that being passionate about anything worries you because you may end up looking a fool, not being good enough or not being disciplined enough.

You carry a lot of anguish in you mainly because you had to focus on things that were expected of you or because you had to survive so you might feel like you're good at many things but not great or could be great at something but you don't necessarily love it.

You're an interesting group here because you haven't even allowed yourself to feel excited about things.

What are you truly passionate about? I see nature, authenticism, a slower, softer life. The word passion itself feels too intense and deliberate for you.

You simply want to experience a life that doesn't feel like you running on a treadmill till your knees give out.

I do see there's an innate desire in you to help others, be it people or animals or even a dying plant. You want to find your peace and bring some of that peace in others lives too. Your energy feels like a walking into a warm cabin in the woods during winter with freshly made dinner waiting.

Hidden talents you have ample, a lot of them are based on learning and perfecting with practice :

- Cooking, experimenting with different herbs. I do see some of you have the potential to start a small business that involves food.

- Gardening and farming

- Painting

- Tattooing (this is coming through because it can be very therapeutic for a lot of you)

- Perfume making is also coming through as well as skincare.

- pottery and sculpting, crocheting etc

- reiki, medicine, physical therapy etc

- divination

Think of a life that's a bit more laid back a career that makes you feel less on the edge.

You've already been running on the validation of people who think you're dispensable or your worth is tied to something outside of you that you can't even find meaning in.

The world needs more souls like you.

The only advice is to be more compassionate with yourself, you're not running a race even if people have constantly been reminding you of it, there's no finish line. The only truth that matters is the story you tell yourself, over and over again. It will come to pass. Continue being. Continue creating instead of wondering about the how. You've figured out many things in your life, let life sort this out for you.

[lunar-bat]

Beginner Friendly Witchraft Books

With a plethora of information available, it's essential to find the right resources to guide you through your magical path. Here are some books I would recommend to any beginner that offer a solid foundation into various paths and topics.

Witchery by Juliet Diaz

The book is a mix of personal experiences, practical instruction, and spiritual guidance, making it suitable for both beginners and people with more experience in the craft.

The Crooked Path by Kelden

This book has been an invaluable resource in my personal craft. It explores various aspects of traditional witchcraft, which if you're interested in I would definitely recommend.

Psychic Witch by Matt Auryn

This book is for anyone curious about the unseen world and their own untapped potential.

Green Witchcraft by Paige Vanderbeck

This is a guide to practicing green witchery, harnessing the natural world's magic for growth, healing, and living in harmony with nature.

Witchcraft for Beginners by Lisa Chamberlain

A pretty informative guide to witchcraft with brief but thorough descriptions of different paths.

Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham

A classic book on magickal herbs

Sigil Witchery by Laura Tempest Zakroff

A comprehensive guide to sigil magick, focusing on helping you develop your own powerful sigil magick practice.

The Witch's Altar by Jason Mankey and Laura Tempest Zakroff

The witch's altar history, creation, and magical power to elevate rituals and connect with the sacred.

These are just ones I've personally found helpful when I first got into the craft, if you want any recommendations for specific topics feel free to ask :).

[cemeterything]

i love revenge tragedies so so much because they have so much potential to explore such a nuanced and complex topic and give it the consideration and care it deserves. revenge and revenger characters are such powerful narrative tools, both of catharsis and self reflection. a good revenge tragedy will not tell you that "revenge is bad, seeking revenge makes you just as bad as the people you're seeking vengeance against, and nonviolence and forgiveness are the only paths to building a better world". a good revenge tragedy will present you with a really difficult and complicated situation, even something absolutely unforgivable, and ask you to consider questions like "will this really help anyone?" "am i doing the right thing, or am i just doing what feels good?" "how far can you go before your quest for self-empowerment and personal satisfaction becomes perpetrating the same violence that you claim to be fighting against?" "what else could i do to help build a better future for myself and others, to ensure that the cycle of violence doesn't continue after justice is served?" "what went wrong here? how did something that seemed so right go so wrong?" and "what would i do in this situation?"

sayings like "those who live by the sword will die by the sword" and "those who fight monsters should take care they don't become monsters themselves" often get oversimplified, misinterpreted, and used to criticize people from feeling justifiably angry at their mistreatment and oppression, and discourage them from seeking the restitution they're owed. but when used correctly, a good revenge tragedy will employ these ideas as tools of teaching and learning, of questioning and discussion, of analysis and communication, and as a reminder to think critically and to think for yourself, not as a moral lesson. and those stories are so incredibly and important and valuable to me, and i believe that they have a very necessary place in the world.

[writingwithcolor]

How do I respectfully discuss the topic of diversity with a co-author, as well as assigning a race to an “ambiguous” character?

Anonymous asked:

My co-author and I, for context, are both white and in highschool. For the main cast of our story, each of us ended up creating three characters. All three of her characters were white. Two of mine were white as well, alongside one character who is ambiguously brown-skinned. Do you have any advice on respectfully bringing up the subject of diversity to a co-author, even if it means potentially changing our established characters? Additionally, do you have any advice on retroactively assigning a race/culture to a character? I now understand after reading this blog that “ambiguously brown” characters should be avoided, but I did not when initially creating him. I worry that I could fall into stereotypes— while portrayed positively, he’s somewhat of a “nerd” archetype. But I don’t want to whitewash him either.

“Hey, why’d you think we made a mostly all-white cast?”

In other words: Just be normal about it. As you yourself note, you also didn’t exactly put a great deal of thought into the racial/ ethnic identity for your single brown character either, so it’s not just about your writing partner. This is about how you guys like to create as a team, and what sources of inspiration you both tend to gravitate towards. If a pair of high school students who write together can’t have a chill conversation about the races of the characters they are creating, then I’d worry more for their dynamic as a creative team. Discussions of race are only as weird and awkward as people decide to make them, and that’s often framed by the baggage each person is bringing into the conversation.

Whether or not you change the characters is up to you.

“Diversity is a marathon, not a sprint!”

Write diverse characters when and because you want to. I think the push for diversity is best when it’s self-motivated. Strangers on the internet telling you to do something is definitely not the reason to do it. I’ll note the same applies IRL. Otherwise, you’re changing your behavior for the sake of peer pressure. Writing groups on the internet like our blog do not exist to sit in judgment of your work. These are venues to discuss, critique and receive feedback, but the final choice always rests with you.

There’s not enough info for me to tell if the experience of whiteness is so intrinsic to your characters that changing their race will alter them greatly. I would argue the same for gender and sexual identity. Sometimes, changing dimensions of a character’s identity alters a lot about who they are. Other times, particularly if the character is not thoroughly fleshed out, changing their race only adds to their characterization. Only you can say which scenario applies here.

Other mods have written on how to handle your dilemma of “white as default” in an earlier post available here. Please explore our #POC Profiles for more inspiration. 

Your third paragraph can be answered by re-reading all 3 sections of the FAQ and exploring our archives using the tags. 

Marika.

[yourheart-inmyhands]

Hellow hellow (⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)

May I request yandere zhongli, diluc and possibly neuvilette with reader who's a talented musician that often like to play alone and doesn't want anyone finding about their hobby?

ah this was such a cute ask! i've never played an instrument aside from the recorder i was forced to learn in 4th grade so i apologize if this isn't super accurate :D

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behaviors, honestly the guys are pretty sweet here, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Diluc:

Being a bit of a musician himself, Diluc can understand the desire to be alone. He won’t ever intrude on your alone time, allowing you a room to yourself with whatever instruments and setup you’d like. He makes sure to let all the staff know to not bother you while you are there. If you’d like he’d even be willing to set up a lock on the door so that no one can enter, so long as he is allowed a key.

If you should ever change your mind and ask Diluc to join you for some music, he’d be more than happy to comply. He knows quite a few different instruments so he’s happy to partner up as whatever you ask of him as well.

A soft smile graces Diluc’s face as he hears the music start-up in another room. You were back to practicing again, working away at a particular piece that had been troubling you lately. Normally he wouldn’t seem so happy about your mess-ups, but he thought your dedication to the instruments to be endearing. It reminded him a bit of himself when he was young, before he had taken over the winery business unexpectedly. He had offered to play the piece with you a handful of times over dinner, but your polite refusal each time was enough to keep him from simply forcing his way in. He didn’t want to disturb the one thing you seemed to enjoy so thoroughly. 

Zhongli:

Zhongli was never much of a musician, he preferred books and literature over the finer arts. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate them though. He does dampen a bit when you deny him the access of watching you play, insisting that you prefer to be alone, but he relents regardless. His keen hearing from across the home-like cave was enough for now.

Instead, Zhongli offers his support in the form of sheet music, going out of his way to obtain obscure or new sheet music for you in the style that you like so that you never run out of new melodies. It’s a simple act of appreciation for your gifts, if he could write any himself he’d have done so as well, but his ear for music wasn’t as fine-tuned as yours. 

Zhongli pauses in his reading for a moment, his ears adjusting to the slightest tune echoing through the cave. It was barely there, but enough for him to hear. It seemed as though you were playing quietly today. It’s another moment that passes before he places a marker into his book, setting it aside before rising from his chair. He couldn’t explain it but your music always seemed to inspire him to get up and do something. Typically it was cooking, with him making a light meal or snack to bring to you when it sounded like you were taking a break. It helped to hear that you were playing the newest sheet music he had brought you. He didn’t know much about music aside from how to read notes on a paper, but there was something about that one specifically that just reminded him so dearly of you.

Neuvillette:

Neuvillette has always admired music, but his mind was more focused on the law and justice system, he had never really had time to explore that interest. When he finds out about your talent in that field, he at first is hesitant to ask you to teach him. He doesn’t want to bother you especially after you confessed that you prefer to play alone. So instead he listens silently from the next room over, replaying the melodies over and over in his head as he tries to teach himself an instrument.

It’s sweet, the way Neuvillette is always keeping you up to date with things. Always making sure your instruments are in proper working order and that anything you need for them is easily available. He had learned about instrument care as soon as he started trying to learn, and because you don’t leave the house often he makes sure to pick things up that he thinks you might need while he’s out. 

He doesn’t say anything to you as he silently enters the room, noticing how you paused mid-line, turning to look at him. He just offers a warm smile, walking over to you quietly before sliding your music stand away. It takes a moment to realize what he’s doing as he slides a brand new one into place, carefully moving your sheet music from the old one to the new one. “I apologize for disrupting, please continue.” He gives a polite bow of his head before turning to leave, taking the old music stand with him. You weren’t sure how he knew that you needed a new one, since the old one had a problem with staying extended to the height you wanted it, but silently, you were thankful. 

[dogruolan]

OZEMPİCİNFO - SİLVER

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[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part twenty-three

summary: you were back in the capitol, and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to make it worthwhile.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 5.1k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: yayyyy s3 is here!! this has SO much potential and there is so much i want to do with this from here but i believe this will be the last season!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

You had the train car all to yourselves. Few peacekeepers were allowed to leave in the wake of the murders, and for that you were thankful. You were able to let Tybalt out to explore the car, but he mostly stayed on your lap.

You felt guilty about taking him, you didn't even want to ask until your mother insisted, and Coryo wouldn't deny you bringing him. You thought about maybe taking him to a vet when you arrived. There were hardly any in Twelve, none of which made time for domestic animals that weren't livestock of some kind. You had to assume that in the Capitol that was a completely different story, so maybe this would be good for him.

It was dark by now, and Coryo was fast asleep on the bench next to you, head pressed to the window. You suspect he hadn't slept at all the night before.

"Sejanus." You whisper. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah." He replies quietly, sitting across from you at the small table.

"Are you okay?" Your question is met with a few beats of silence.

"I was meant to go with them." He whispers. "I didn't want to go back there."

"The Capitol?" You ask. "Why not?"

"It's not my home." He answers simply. You can hardly see his face in the dark, but you can tell he's sad. Grieving the life he could have had.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Sejanus?" You whisper, leaning forward to try and see him.

"Hm?"

"Was Lennox going too?"

"No." You can see the shadow of him shaking his head in the dark. "He was only going to bring some supplies for us out to the cabin at the lake and leave them for us to pick up on our way."

You breathe a quiet sigh of relief. He couldn't have left. You knew you couldn't bear it- and your parents would not cope well losing another child. You thought he wouldn't do that, but you weren't confident enough to say for certain. You'd much rather have a rebel for a brother than never see him again. Though, to you, helping friends was hardly an act of rebellion.

"What... what are you going to take?" You ask, hoping to change the topic. It was nice to have him talking again. "At the university, I mean."

"Medicine. I'd like to be a doctor, I think. I want to help people, maybe out in the Districts."

"Of course." You grin. "That's so like you. Your patients will be very lucky people."

"It'll never be enough." He shakes his head and you frown. "I can't help everyone. And everyone outside the Capitol needs it so bad. Did you know my father is the head of munitions in District Two? I'll never be able to make up for the pain my name has caused. Never."

"Well..." You look down at the cat curled up next to you. "You saved Tybs. I can't even tell you how much that means to me. Everything you do will mean so much to people. Even if it's just one person, I think that is more than enough. To try is more than enough."

You see the ghost of a smile twitch on his lips. "Thanks, Y/N. You're gonna do good things, too."

"How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself."

Sejanus sighs. "Extremely."

A few hours later, it was your turn to sleep. At least, to try. It was hard to get comfortable, curled up on one of the benches with a bag of your clothes as a pillow and Tybalt insisting on sleeping on top of you.

You were just drifting off, you could hardly keep your eyes open, when quickly a nightmare jolts you awake. Bang! The sound of a gunshot- in your dream state you know it's the bullet that found a home in Cole Harlem. The next 'bang' was the sound of your head hitting the table next to you when you shoot back up, unintentionally scaring your cat off of your side.

You hiss, placing a hand on the side of your head and rubbing it through the pain. "Ow..."

"Y/N? Are you okay?" You hear Coryo ask quietly, followed by footsteps across the centre aisle of the train car.

"Mhm." You hum, trying to squint to see him in the poor lighting. It must be almost morning- there's a blue wash beginning to paint over everything onboard, including his form as he's crouched down next to you.

"Let me see..." He says softly, hands already lifted ready to touch you. To see if he can help.

You move a little closer, dropping your hand so he can gently cradle your face in his larger ones, using a finger to turn your head to the side as he examines the bump on your temple.

It's impossible for him to see in this lighting, but if there was blood he would be able to tell. "Just a bump." He whispers. "You'll be alright."

You just nod slightly under his grip, eyes searching for his in the dark. Neither of you want to move. Being this close to you, having you come home with him is a gift he wouldn't dare miss by blinking too slowly or letting his hold on you drift.

"Nightmare?" He asks quietly and you just nod again. Without a word, you're moving back on the bench to the window and he is sliding into the spot next to you. "Do you think you'll be able to get back to sleep?"

"No." You answer softly, giving a slight shake of your head.

"Can I ask what it was about?" He asks. "Tigris always told me talking about it helps."

You chew your lip, looking away from him and down at the empty table. "Cole."

Coryo tenses next to you, his jaw clicking from the small movement. "I... I am sorry." He doesn't know what to say besides that- and he feels like telling you that dirtbag deserved it would do little to help the situation.

"Can I tell you a secret?" You whisper, voice mostly steady.

He nods, watching you expectantly. You take a deep breath. "I'm glad he's dead."

You must be a changed woman. It was hardly like you to say something like that- let alone feel it, but keeping it in would just keep you up at night. Coryo wouldn't hate you for it, you're sure.

He looks at you, head tilted while he confirms with himself that you did, in fact, just say the words he heard. You were the most gentle soul in Panem, he was sure, so what on earth could he have done to you to make you say something like that? Now he was more sure than ever that he did deserve it. "What did he do to you?" His gaze softens as it finds yours, and you slightly shake your head.

"It's... kind of a long story." You whisper.

"I have all the time in the world for you."

He sees the ghost of a smile tug at your lips, and you look down at your lap to process your thoughts. "He just... doesn't, didn't know how to take no for an answer." You try to explain it briefly, but the way Coryo's eyes widen makes you backtrack. "I mean, no. I'm sorry. He didn't hurt me. Well, he did, but not in the way that that sounded like." You take a deep breath. "He asked me if I would like to go on a date with him, and I said no, thank you, because I knew him and I knew he had a temper and I didn't think we would work. So, he would wait outside my school and follow me home everyday. He kept asking, I kept saying no, but he didn't listen. It only made him more mad."

It was a rare occasion that you felt so numb talking about someone who had died. "Then, about three months before the games, I guess he couldn't take the rejection anymore and he dragged me away and... I don't know how to describe it... beat me up. I suppose." You laugh dryly, only noticeable to Coryo because he was watching. "Lennox found us, really got into it with him and then had to literally carry me home with his own black eye and bleeding nose."

He nods slightly in understanding, holding himself together from throwing a fist through the window. He was right. That piece of human garbage did deserve it. Now he had every right to be glad he was dead, and so do you. It makes sense to him now, of course you'd only be pleased with a murder if it was someone who had hurt your brother- the fact that he had hurt you the way he did had nothing to do with it.

"You have every right to be happy." He tells you. "Shit, to be honest now I'm wishing I shot him myself."

"Coryo..." You sigh, frowning at him.

"Too far?" He laughs, and you can't help but join him.

"Yes!"

"'Kay, sorry, love. I'll keep it to myself." He raises his hands defensively, cocking his head to the side.

You're quiet for a moment. It's torturous for you both. "He's the reason I went in after you." Your voice is lowered now, noticeably. "He said that I had to go out on that date with him after you left, otherwise I shouldn't be shocked if my Pa ends up executed for treason."

Coryo swallows, staring at you in absolute shock. It just kept getting worse.

"I was terrified, I didn't know what to do, I couldn't be alone anymore. You would have left the next morning and I would have been with him. And I knew he wouldn't have let me talk to you ever again, and I was so scared you would hate me and you'd never know that I didn't have a choice."

"I could never hate you." He says, taking the calculated risk of reaching out to touch your hair, rolling the ends of the soft strands between his fingers. "It'd break my heart, but I wouldn't hate you."

"That's almost worse." You laugh quietly, eyes locked on his hand at your side.

"I'm glad you're coming with us. I don't know how I could live without you." He glances down at your lips, only a shadow in the dark as you pull your bottom lip between your teeth.

"Morning without you is a dwindled dawn." You agree, and that's all he can handle before he has to kiss you again.

He's so gentle when he holds your jaw in his hand and presses his lips to yours that you aren't sure if there really was a static shock that accompanied it or if that was just your body reacting to his skin on your own.

"I love you, Y/N/N." You almost swallow his words, smiling against his lips. "You know that, right?"

"I love you too, Coryo."

You tried to get as much sleep as possible over the two day ride, waking when the sun rises and you could feel the heat on your skin. You could see the tall buildings that made up the city in the distance.

People say that a ride back always feels faster, because you're familiar with the path; that your mind chooses to forget the uneventful sections. You believe it. The ride home had felt like it took an eternity, but this time it felt too fast. You were nervous; scared, more than excited. Even though this is supposed to be a good thing.

If Coryo had just asked if you would like to go with him, what would you have said? No matter how many hours you put into the question, you really don't know. Not until Cole threatened your family, anyways. You would have had to turn him down, then. Regardless, you were never given the privilege of a choice.

This isn't about him. You have to remind yourself. This is about saving your family, in more ways than one.

Maybe it really was a good thing that Cole was shot. You curse yourself for even thinking such a thing, but with him alive the only possible outcome was him having your father killed. You could only be the perfect girlfriend for so long- you knew him, one mistake from you and he would make true on his word. Then you would have to marry him in order to have another income. Your winnings from the games would only take you so far on your own.

You're not sure if it's the swaying of the train that's really making you sick.

You would get your answer an hour later when your train crossed the bridge over the river, and the Capitol was in full, glorious view.

You could physically feel the blood draining from your face as you stare out the window, unable to look away. You looked like a deer in headlights.

"Y/N/N?" Coryo hums, placing a hand on your leg. "You okay?"

You nod slightly, but you're hardly processing what's happening around you.

He frowns, leaning forward to be able to get a closer look at your face. You look like you're about to vomit or faint or both. "Look." He smiles, patting your leg and pointing out the window. "That tall building there, you see it?" You nod slowly, watching where he's pointing. "Up on the top floor there's a restaurant with big floor to ceiling windows that overlook the river and the mountains. It's beautiful." He's never been there, but he's heard it's incredible.

"And over there, that smaller, longer building is a mall." He tells you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and sliding closer as you continue to follow his hand. "On the outside there's this ice cream shop that makes the most amazing flavours. Literally anything you can imagine." He chuckles slightly. "I'll take you there."

You smile slightly, and the colour begins to return to your face with a slight rosiness in your cheeks.

"After the tunnel we'll pass the university." He grins. "It's a really nice campus, you'll love it there. They have a massive library."

You close your eyes as the train plunges into the darkness of the tunnel, nodding slightly.

"What would you like to do? We can go anywhere."

"I... today I'd just like to go home." You answer quietly.

"Of course, love. But another day, sometime in the future."

You think for a moment. "Is there a vet here?" You ask and he nods.

"I'd like to take Tybs to get looked at. He's not sick, or anything... but he's never been to the vet before so I'd just like to make sure he's in good health." You explain.

"Yeah, we can definitely do that." Coryo agrees. "And there's this bookstore that's three stories tall, you'll love it." He adds.

"Can I meet your cousin?"

"Yes, love. Of course. She'll live with us, you'll be the best of friends." Coryo explains, squeezing your shoulder. He hadn't yet considered you meeting his family, he didn't even have the chance to tell them you were coming. It would be fine, he knew that. They had the room and the funds to support another person now, that wasn't even a question. Tigris had been dying to meet you, wanting to know every detail about you before the games and especially in his phone calls home while he was in Twelve.

He realized suddenly that maybe he should be worried about his Grandma'am. He knew she had a prejudice against people in the Districts, she had voiced as much during his mentorship. She had even influenced a similar attitude in him his whole life- but you were different. You weren't like them, and she would have to learn that, but that didn't make him any less nervous about what she might say to you until then.

"I'm excited." You tell him, forcing yourself to only think about the good things to come.

Your hands are shaking as you pull into the station. You can already see it's a different one than you were pulled from last time, the first place you met Coryo. You grab your bags, holding the one containing Tybalt close to your chest as the door opens and you walk out. He wasn't too fond of getting back inside after having the freedom of roaming the train car, but you were grateful he was not a very temperamental cat.

Mostly, the station was deserted. There were a few peacekeepers here and there, but you still felt as though all eyes were on you.

You didn't notice when your friends were greeted by their waiting family members, still looking around and processing your surroundings.

"Y/N/N?" Coryo's voice brings you back to reality, and you realize you hadn't taken a single step away from the train yet. "Come here."

You smile as you walk over, eyeing who you assume to be his cousin.

"Hello, there." You grin, giving a slight wave but still holding tightly onto your cat.

"Y/N." Tigris smiles, her blonde hair draped over her shoulders in meticulously styled curls. "It's so amazing to meet you! I'm Tigris, Coryo's cousin."

"Yes, you as well." You nod, trying to mask your nervousness with a smile. "How are you?"

"I'm amazing, I am just so pleased you're here. What a great surprise!" She claps, and you take in her outfit. You've never seen such fine materials, outside maybe the silk scarf Coryo gave you that is now tucked in the old suitcase sitting next to his feet. You wonder if she made the clothes she was wearing, remembering he said she was a designer.

"Coryo has told me so much about you. I've been excited to meet you."

"I really wanted to come see you before the games but I couldn't get away from work, I'm so sorry this is the first time we're meeting." She says and you swallow, nodding slightly in response. "Will you be staying with us?"

"If... if that's okay." You say, looking to Coryo who nods.

"Of course that's okay." He answers on her behalf, but she nods in agreement.

"Yes, you're always welcome. We're so happy to have you."

"Thank you." You breathe a silent sigh of relief.

"We should get going, yeah?" Tigris says and you nod, adjusting your hold on the bag in your arms.

They start to walk, already talking about all the excitement of the trip when you get a tap on your shoulder. You jump slightly, turning and pulling your bag closer to your chest.

"Sorry, dear. I didn't mean to startle you." The woman smiling sadly at you must be Sejanus's Ma. He's standing with her, so it was the only assumption you could make.

"It's okay." You reply quietly, smiling at her politely.

"Y/N, this is my Ma." Sejanus introduces you, confirming your suspicions.

"Nice to meet you." You smile, and she brings her hands up to place on your shoulders, gently rubbing them.

"It's so good to meet you, dear." You feel so greatly comforted by her already. "Sejanus told me you would be staying for a while."

"Yes, ma'am."

"You call me Ma." She quickly corrects you, and you match her smile. You could cry- the burning behind your eyes is telling you that you just might. "We know damn well how hard this transition is, so if you need anything at all at any time, you call us. Okay? We'll help you however we can. With anything."

You smile at them, tears filling your eyes. "Thank you." You sniff, and she pulls you into a hug.

Graciously, and awkwardly with Tybalt still between you, you accept. You never want her to let go.

"Of course, dear. You'll always have a home away from home with us if you need it."

"I can no other answer make, but thanks, and thanks." You say, tears flowing now. You never seem to stop crying- but for the first time in a long time, it was from real happiness.

"Twelfth Night." Ma says as she pulls away, still holding your arms.

You laugh slightly, biting into your bottom lip and nodding. "Yes! You've read it?"

"I brushed up after Coriolanus came around asking for Romeo and Juliet." Ma shrugs, letting you go and letting Sejanus give you a hug as well.

"Coryo has our number. Call anytime, I mean it." He tells you and you nod against his shoulder. "But I'll see you soon, okay? We'll hangout all the time."

"All the time." You agree as he lets you go. "I don't want to keep them waiting, so..."

"Yes, of course. It was so good to meet you." Ma smiles.

"You as well, Ma. I'll see you soon I am certain." You wave goodbye and catch up to Coryo and Tigris, who stopped just a little ways away to wait for you. "Sorry..."

Tigris wipes the worried expression off her face. Coryo probably just had to explain why you were there. "Don't worry about it! Ready to go?"

"Yes." You grin, quickly wiping your eyes. "Lead the way."

There are so many things that you hadn't considered on the train ride. Such as, where was the nearest post office? Or how is Tybs going to handle being indoors constantly? You'll have to get him a litter box- you've never had one before since he was mostly an outdoor cat, and would he need toys now that there probably wouldn't be mice or birds for him to hunt?

Also, there was the immediately obvious fact that the stares you were getting were endless. People even stopped you asking for pictures on the way back- Coryo had to tell them no. Several times. It wasn't any longer than a twenty minute walk.

Everyone seemed so excited to see you, to talk to you. Or, talk at you, rather. It was uncomfortable, but it was so different than what you were used to at home. Especially after the games, people tended to literally cross the street to avoid talking to you. Here, it was the opposite. You were some kind of celebrity. You knew Capitol people liked the games, but you didn't know it was like this. You tried to be polite, but being celebrated for something so awful is hard to swallow. You almost preferred the shame that came with being avoided.

"Is it normally like that?" You ask quietly as you walk into the lobby of a tall building, the floors and pillars lined with white marble. You had never seen anything like it.

"I'm not sure." Coryo answers honestly. "You are the first Victor to ever come back, but like I said, people loved you. Thousands of people watched just for you. That's why I won the Plinth Prize- you boosted the viewership beyond what's ever been seen before."

"Oh." You answer simply, following them into a set of silver sliding doors in the wall.

"When we get up I'll make you something to eat, you guys must be starving." Tigris says as the mechanical doors slide shut again, and you tilt your head.

"Uhm... I-" Your question is halted by a steady shake of the small room you're in, and it feels like you're moving.

Coryo looks over at you and your wide eyes, furrowing his brow. "What's wrong?"

"Are we moving?" You ask, looking around. You're surrounded by mirrors, only seeing endless reflections of the three of you.

Tigris covers her mouth to hide her smile, and Coryo laughs. "Yes, love." The two of them look at each other briefly. "This is an elevator, in a second the doors will open and we'll be at our apartment."

"Oh, wow." You laugh slightly, in a small amount of shock.

"I didn't even think that you might not know what it is, I'm sorry." Coryo chuckles, gently rubbing circles onto your back as the doors slide open again and just like he told you, you were somewhere new.

"That's okay, I just have a lot to learn apparently." You giggle, shaking your head as you step out of the so-called "elevator". You look back inside it as the doors slide shut. "So, how does it work?"

"Honestly, I am not entirely sure of the mechanics of it but there's a motor up top, and when you press that button it lifts to you and then lowers to where you want to go." He explains as Tigris pulls out her key to unlock the door. "It didn't work for over ten years, so it's kind of new to me too."

He's trying to make you feel less embarrassed, and that makes you smile at him. "I see. That's neat."

"It is, isn't it?" Coryo grins. He was in absolute awe of you everyday, but now that he's realized that there are so many things you don't know, even as the smartest person he's ever met, and that he wants to show you absolutely everything. Had you even tried ice cream before? What else would be new to you? There were certainly no cars besides peacekeeper trucks in Twelve, not that he had seen anyways, so it must have been jarring for you to see civilian vehicles on the walk back. He should have asked.

As adorable that it was that there were things you had never seen before, it almost worried him in a way he hadn't considered before. You would need him around a lot- not that he minded one bit. He had liked that about the games, he knew where you were while you were caged up at the zoo and he could leave and come back with the comfort of knowing you would be there waiting for him.

His thoughts are interrupted when Tigris gets the door open, shouting for their grandma'am. He takes a deep breath, smiling as he holds the door for you. It is good to be home.

"We have company!" Tigris calls out as you walk in, and you look around focussed on keeping your mouth shut as not to physically gawk at their home. Their apartment was beautiful, with a somewhat open concept and halls that spun off in all directions from the main foyer.

"Oh, lovely! We haven't had company in ages. You should get the tea on, dear." You hear his grandmothers voice before you see her, sparing a glance at Coryo. If he's nervous, he doesn't look it.

She looks like the sweetest old lady, her white hair matching the shade of her silk robe and slippers. "Oh, Coryo!" She smiles, heading straight to him and giving him a hug. "How we have missed you..."

"I missed you too, grandma'am." He sighs, gentle as he hugs her back. When he lets her go, it seems like she has noticed you for the first time.

The excited smile on her face fades instantaneously as she looks you up and down. "Who's this?"

"This is Y/N. You remember I told you about her, right?"

"I do." She nods, a sour look on her face as she stares at you.

"Hello, you must be Coriolanus's grandmother, it is so lovely to finally meet you." You smile, readjusting your bag so you can hold it in one arm in order to extend your hand to her to shake. She doesn't take it. "You have a beautiful home, Mrs. Snow." You continue when she doesn't answer you, holding your smile and trying not to seem terrified. It was like the lead-up to the games all over again.

"What's in her bag?" She asks Coryo when she sees it move, ignoring you altogether as you awkwardly drop your hand.

"That's Tybalt, her cat. He's the softest thing, you'll love him." He smiles, an apologetic look in his eyes as he glances over at you. This is exactly what he was afraid of.

"A cat?" His grandmother gasps, taking a step back with a hand to her chest. For a moment, you were scared she was about to have a heart attack.

"Grandma'am, you love cats!" Tigris says, stepping back in from the kitchen with a kettle in hand. "Y/N, come join us in the sitting room. I'm just getting some snacks together."

"Not feral ones!" She replies, appalled.

"Oh, he's not feral, Ma'am." You assure her. "Unless you're a mouse or a bird, he's the gentlest animal alive."

"Coriolanus Snow how dare you bring these... these strays into our home!" Now she's talking like you aren't even there, and you can't help but laugh nervously.

You look away, anywhere but at either of them. Maybe you would be calling Sejanus and his Ma for somewhere to stay by the end of the afternoon.

"They aren't strays." He defends you quickly, frowning. Okay, this was what he was afraid of.

"Here, come sit, Y/N." Tigris says quietly, placing the kettle back down and guiding you out of the room with hands on your shoulders. "I am so, so sorry." She whispers as you walk away.

"It's quite alright." You insist. "She didn't know I was coming, it was all so short notice. I completely understand." She didn't even know you were staying yet.

The sound of Coryo talking down his grandmother faded into muffled sounds as Tigris closes the door to what looks to be a bedroom. "No, no it's not right." Tigris frowns, shaking her head. "I don't want to make excuses for her but the war and the dark days were so hard on her, a lot of the blame was placed on the people from the Districts. She lost both her children and she never really came back from that."

"No, I do understand." You smile sadly. "I'm so sorry you and your family went through that. It must have been so difficult."

"The war was awful for everyone." Tigris shakes her head. "Please, don't apologize to us. No one came out of that unharmed."

"Do you mind if I let Tybalt out?" You ask, eager to change the subject.

"Please." Tigris grins, clearly just as relieved that you weren't horribly offended by their grandmothers behaviour. "I'm excited to meet him."

You smile, crouching down and opening up the carrier for him to hop out. He does so promptly, taking advantage of the opportunity.

"He's so cute!" Tigris squeaks, crouching down to pet him. He was a little jarred at first by new surroundings, but he quickly accepted them when she began petting him. "It'll be so nice to have a fluffy friend here."

"Thank you for being okay with me bringing him." You smile, taking the time to look around the room yourself. Everything looked hardly touched, all sparkly and new with corner windows lighting up the space beautifully.

"Our home is your home." She smiles, standing up again and Tybalt is quick to run over to you, rubbing up against your legs. "That applies to both of you. Grandma'am will come around."

"Thank you." You smile. "The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience."

When she smiles, you can see outside of the blonde hair how her and Coryo are related. "You truly are something else."

"Oh, I hope that's a good thing..." You laugh.

"Yes, absolutely." She laughs. "I'll go get that tea going again and get the guest room all set up for you. The bathroom is right across the hall if you need it, and Coryo will come get you when grandma'am has relaxed a bit."

"Thank you." You say again, watching your cat hop up onto the desk against the back wall.

She gives you a quick hug. "Welcome home." She says softly, shutting the door behind her as she leaves.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs, @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @strawberryflavouredkisses

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[savannahsdeath]

SOCCER!ELLIE WILLIAMS X CHEERLEADER!READER

PART 3THREE

part 4four

part 2two

mdni please<3

summary: ellie hoped to get her reward even though she didn't win the match, but someone really looked forward to ruin her plans, and potentially, change your whole life

warnings: i think its minors safe?? mentions of cheating tho !!

writers note: meow meow its a short chapter again plus everything happens pretty fast cuz im impatient🩷

you watched as the both teams shook hands, acknowledging the game's conclusion and the tie.

ellie ran over to you and the other cheerleaders, smiling. she looked exhausted, but she was still happy to see you.

"you know, i could still use that kiss." she joked.

"but you didn't win." you smirked, handing her your water.

you remembered how just yesterday you hated her for taking the bottle, and the fact you're the one offering it now was hilarious.

she also seemed to think about that, as she hestitated before drinking it.

"yeah, but..." she stopped to completely down the liquid in just a few sips. she must be really thirsty. "but i didn't lose, either."

ellie looked around. "she's somewhere around here, isn't she?" she asked with a smirk, and you instantly knew who is she talking about. "i need to shove these results in her face."

you shrugged and tried to change the topic. "anyway, back to what i..."

ellie looked you up and down before cutting you off. "one kiss. it's all i want."

she raised an eyebrow at you, clearly expecting a response.

"so is that it?" you chuckled. "you just wanted to make vi mad?"

ellie defensively raised her hands. "no, no. that's just a great bonus."

you laughed at ellie's response, but you knew that there was more to it than that.

ellie had spent the entire match trying to win your recognition. she didn't just want to make vi mad. she wanted to win you - your attention.

"fine." you agreed with a smirk. "i shouldn't, but i'll give you your hard-earned kiss."

you reached out towards ellie, bringing her slowly closer and closer.

you could both feel the anticipation in the air. ellie's breath hitched, and she held her breath as you both moved in for the kiss. your mouths met softly yet passionately, as your lips pressed together and ellie's tongue explored your mouth. you could feel her excitement and her desire for you, and you began to feel the same for her.

the cheering from the crowd faded away as the two of you were caught up in the moment.

a sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted you. you pulled away, heavily breathing, to see vi.

"i just wanted to congratulate you, ellie." she clicked her tongue and crossed her arms.

vi was clearly annoyed by the situation, as she looked at her rival with disdain.

"why do you always take things too far?" she asked ellie. "this match was supposed to be about scoring goals, not about scoring dates."

you both stayed silent, not wanting to start an argument. but maybe it'd be necessary.

"i'm glad to see you two having such a great time together." she said dryly, giving ellie a hard stare.

it was clear that vi was still trying to win you back, and it was also clear that she was bitter about the situation.

ellie looked annoyed by your ex's comment, as she knew exactly where vi's anger was coming from. ellie's face was still flushed from the kiss, but she didn't let it bother her.

you didn't even notice when other students and players left the field, leaving you almost alone.

"thanks for your concern, but we don't need it, alright?" ellie replied, rolling her eyes.

"you should be careful with her." vi warned ellie, sternly looking at her. "or you'll end up like me, being known as a cheater."

her rival laughed, shrugging it off. "not going to happen."

she pulled you closer, almost as if she wanted to keep you away from this.

"why so sure?" your ex put on a mockingly curious expression. "maybe you're feeling safe because you're the one who made up this little gossip?"

your eyes widened at vi's accusation.

"you did cheat on me, don't deny it." you shook your head.

"oh, of course i did!" vi sarcastically smiled. "did you never wonder why the first ones to call me a cheater were people from ellie's team?"

as soon as vi saw she got to you, she simply walked away, mumbling a proud; "i see you two have some explaining to do."

"ellie..." you started softly. "just tell me- is it true?"

she looked down, and for a moment, she seemed like she was about to lie. but then she took a deep breath and sighed.

"yes, i did." she looked at you and shrugged. "i was jealous, okay? the only thing i could think of was to sabotage her, so i made up that whole story about her cheating to get you to spend less time with her." she frowned, looking away.

"i'm sorry."

not only you just found out you broke up with someone you loved because of a false rumour, but it was ellie who spread it too. the same ellie you cheered on for the past months. the same ellie who, you thought, hated you the whole time. and here you are, finding out she's the one who ruined your relationship, because she liked you.

you were in disbelief. you felt stupid, and hurt. but more than anything, you felt betrayed by someone you, well, didn't really care about, but trusted. because you met up everyday after classes and no matter how much you pretended to hate her, you knew a lot about her.

ellie saw the look on your face, and the weight of her antics got to her. you never saw her so... vulnerable before.

"i'm so sorry." ellie repeated, her voice awkwardly quiet. "you have a right to be mad at me, but, please, keep in your mind that i didn't do this to hurt you." she took a step towards you. "i just...i liked you, and i didn't know what do you see in her."

"i need to-" you hestitated for a moment, taking a step back to make up the distance between you both. "i need to think about- everything. alone."

she opened her mouth as if to speak, but you cut her off by raising your hand.

"i know." you nodded.

you didn't know what was she thinking - that no one will find out eventually? you didn't know how is it possible her team just played along, making everyone in school believe it too. you didn't know how did she even come up with this idea. but you knew what she was going to say, you knew she's sorry. she already told you two times. enough.

it's good to know you're not the only hurt one, though.

"i know." you repeated, quieter this time, and it seemed like you were whispering it more to yourself than to her. because that's how it was. you were trying to convince yourself you do know and you understand.

she fucked up, really, but at least she knew that.

you could hear a quiet "m'kay." and the sound of a disappointed sigh.

so guys what do we think?? are we being in a generous mood and forgiving ellie?? are we trying to give her a little lesson?? <3<3

TAGS: @wandasromanova @bellaramslover @aouiaa @glennns-blog @elliewilliamsfuckbuddy @iheartsadiesink @ximtiredx @coff1nn @jowdann @simpforellie @iveofficiallylostmymarbles @skylerwhitwyo @pinkigirl @islalips @ratdungeon @okayyesbutno @dinoastronaut @ucannotcompare @elyonz @lesbiantothemoonandback @lovejuliettq more i cant tag for unknown reasons:(

[a-d-nox]

what's a venus return?

did you know that you can check more than just your sun's return? any time a planet transits and becomes exactly conjunct your planet (it is in the exact sign and degree it was when you were born), you undergo a planetary return. venus returns happen roughly every 2 years at a maximum (unless there is a retrograde then it could be about 11 months that you undergo the return). my venus return happened this past weekend so here we are continuing my previous series.

but what can a venus return chart show you?

your romantic life. who you can attract / are likely to fall in love with. how your beauty evolves. sympathy you need. pleasures you have. the art/creative work you can make. your ability to provide self-love / how you can best practice it. harmony you will find. compromises you need to make. how your aesthetic can shift. entertainment you seek. what you will value. luxury items you splurge on. where your laziness originates. how you can be more sensual.

sun

assumption that others crush on you, aesthetic others identify with you, youthfulness, attractiveness, attention from potential suitors, entertainment you seek and/or provide others, what you feel you deserve from others / the universe, what makes you different from others romantically / aesthetically, development of beauty, dignity regarding your appearance, awareness of your looks, objects that bring you joy / pleasure, validation you receive, and/or how express your self in terms of fashion / beauty

moon

emotional responses to romantic situations, loving/jealous instincts, how you show you care, romantic comfort zone, feminine aesthetic - masculine/male gaze, how your childhood effects the romantic partners you seek, fertility, how your beauty/aesthetic adapts to trends, how you breasts change/develop, romantic life habits/trends, and/or comfortability in your space

mercury

romantic communication, love language, physical touch, words of affirmation, talking phases, the creative mind, perception of beauty, creative writing, social media aesthetic/entertainment, flirty mannerisms/gestures, love defying reason, romantic change, forgetfulness that leads to laziness, romantic gossip, romance/smutty reads, self-care routine, and/or youthfulness

venus

romantic experiences, attraction, beauty, pleasures, artistic ability/projects, self-love, divine femininity, sharing romantic feelings/gestures, your aesthetic, entertainment you seek, romantic values, receiving gifts, luxury items you desire, and/or romantic sensuality

mars

romantic passion, desires, romantic confidence, creative ambition, romantic preferences, sex, jealousy, romantic competitiveness, impulsive romantic behavior, sensuality, self-assurance in your beauty, divine masculinity, masculine aesthetic - feminine/female gaze, assertiveness in a romantic connection, dominance, romantic/creative activities, sensual energy, sexuality, romantic combativeness, and/or romantic/creative motivation

jupiter

romantic luck/abundance, wealth of suitors, wealth of luxury / things that are pleasurable, romantic/creative success, romantic opportunities, topical popularity, expansion of wardrobe, entertainment knowledge, honesty in romantic relationships, romantic wisdom, ease in romance, romantic blessings, romantic optimism, justice regarding previous relationships, self exploration, artistic vision, romantic/self devotion, study of aestheticism, self-growth, and/or romantic fulfillment

saturn

romantic/creative achievement and mastery, romantic challenges/struggles, quality time, karmic romances, romantic life lessons, how your paternal figure affects you self-esteem / romantic relationships, fears regarding love, insecurities, romantic guilt, romantic delays, romantic limitations, how past romantic relationships effect new ones, self-love deficiencies, romantic practicality, romantic solitude, romantic maturity, romantic detachment, consistency you show others, grudges against competition / past lovers, and/or your relationship history

uranus

friends to lovers, dating apps, movies as a form of entertainment, sudden romantic relationship, what makes you unique in comparison to others in the dating/artistic scene, how you don't follow the beauty trends, romantic independence/freedom, open relationships, unexpected dates or contact from a suitor, shocking declarations, and/or social media fans/followers

neptune

kindness you show others, artistic creativity, glamorous appearance, sensitivity to others feelings, selflessness in a romantic relationship, escapism via love, intuitive design, use of imagination, makeup / what is presented to society, romantic mysteries, romantic confusion, evasion of commitment, self-love mantras, transcending the norms of aestheticism, fascination with appearance/design, and/or thoughts on your ideal appearance

pluto

glow-up for the self / closet, romantic power, sex, destruction of the old self, rebirth of beauty (hence "the birth of venus"), romantic intensity, magnetism experienced in the romantic realm, romantic infatuation/obsession, seductive performances, romantic manipulation, and/or closet purge

1h

aesthetic you identify with, outward/physical appearance, romantic outlook/approach, beauty, confidence, creative/romantic beginnings, initiating relationships, flirty mannerisms, presence, individuality, and/or how passionate you appear

2h

money you spend on looks, how much effort you put into your appearance, possessions you adore, self-worth/self-love, romantic values, emotional security/insecurity, romantic stability, gift giving/receiving, and/or romantic resources

3h

romantic communication, attractiveness of your speaking voice, what people enjoy about your voice, the creative mind, romantic thoughts, creative perception, opinions on fashion/beauty/love, romantic interests, romantic gossip, romance/smutty literature, appearances on social media, phone calls with romantic interests, visits with romantic suitors, and/or dates

4h

aesthetic of your home, how your family effects your relationships (particularly maternal figure), harmony your inner child seeks in connections, romantic emotions, self-care/self-love, and/or how where you live effects your relationships/appearance

5h

thoughts on children, childishness in romance relationships, pettiness, creative talent, romantic drama, romantic risk-taking, how you react to attention from others, short-term romantic relationships, creative hobbies, romantic pleasures, what suitors bring you, romantic get aways, and/or romantic joy

6h

romantic/creative routine, acts of services, physical effort made to make your body appear as it does, your romantic duties, self-improvement, romantic/creative consistency, hygiene habits, beauty routine, romantic innocence, and/or how your diet effects your appearance

7h

long-term romantic relationships, marriage/partnership, attraction to others, attractiveness to others, ability to charm others, romantic conflicts, marital/nda/pre-nuptial contracts, romantic affairs, those who openly show they are jealous of you, and/or romantic equality

8h

physical transformation, aesthetic/wardrobe transformation, how close you get to others, romantic changes, shared finances between spouses, foreplay/seduction, intimacy you have with another person, secret relationships, romantic mysteries, and/or romantic trauma

9h

romantic wisdom, romantic beliefs/philosophy, perspective in romances / creative works, love languages, how your in-laws see you, romantic ethics, entertainment media/television/interviews, and/or education involving love/creation/aesthetics/appearance/fashion

10h

how the public sees you, relationship status, romantic reputation, creative fame, appearance goals, romantic/creative mission, romantic expertise, and/or romantic/creative achievements

11h

friends to lovers, romantic desires, uniqueness of internal beauty, social awareness in terms of collective beauty, influence you have over fashion and beauty, romantic/creative manifestations, wishes for romance, romantic ideals, debutants, romantic companions, artistic clubs/organizations, and/or costume parties

12h

healing from past romantic connections, hidden desires, romantic karma, beauty sleep, how your appearance/romances effect mental health, solitude/isolation from others, people who are secretly jealous of you, illusions of joy/pleasure, romantic fears, romantic endings, escapism via romance or art, romantic/creative self-sabotage, how past romances effect present/future ones, romantic delays, and/or romantic restrictions

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