#there was one or two that I felt were beyond mean spirited in their interpretation but the interpretations themselves never went beyond the

[schooloftheprince]

An exceptional education at Salvington

Salvington is a famous university throughout the universe of Nebadon because it offers the best opportunity for evolutionary advancement through experiential service and education.

We believe a world-class education will expand your free will choices and enrich your experiences, allowing you to fulfill your potential and make the most of this lifetime's opportunities for personality soul growth and expansion.

University of Salvington is the One Planetary Prince School of Mind Capacity, Character Dignity, Personality Soul Integrity, and Spirit Unity. It is Education that is overwhelmingly worldwide, idealistic, self-realizing, and cosmic grasping.

Education recently passed from the control of the clergy to that of lawyers and businessmen. Eventually it must be given over to the philosophers and the scientists. 

Teachers must be free beings, real leaders, to the end that philosophy, the search for wisdom, may become the chief educational pursuit.

Education is the business of living; it must continue throughout a lifetime so that mankind may gradually experience the ascending levels of mortal wisdom, which are:

1. The knowledge of things.

2. The realization of meanings.

3. The appreciation of values.

4. The nobility of work—duty.

5. The motivation of goals—morality.

6. The love of service—character.

7. Cosmic insight—spiritual discernment.

And then, by means of these achievements, many will ascend to the mortal ultimate of mind attainment, God-consciousness.

Salvington's core teaching is based around conversations, normally between two or three students and their tutor, who is a fellow and faculty member of the university. We call these tutorials, and it's your chance to talk in-depth about your subject and to receive individual feedback on your work.

Small Group Tutorials .. Weekly Classes with Faculty Associates .. University-wide College Lectures .. Language Study Halls .. Independent Study and Divine Inquiry

As well as tutorials, depending on your course you will also have a combination of seminars, lectures, lab work and language classes each week. Together, these opportunities provide the perfect environment for an outstanding education.

Tutorials:

Tutorials are central to teaching and learning at Salvington. They offer a very rare level of personalized attention from associate fellows and faculty members.

Each week I was required to complete my journaling inquiry essays. I was encouraged to read and reflect and realize, reengage and return to the tutorial associate beyond the facts, to observe my own assumptions and preconceptions of ideas, and to prove truth to myself while disproving my conclusions and theories built by opinions and interpretations.

Another surprise was that - for the first time - my inner personal realizations and reflections actually mattered. Rather than simply regurgitating the texts of my college, tutor associates were asking me what I thought and felt and the impact of my revelations. ~Juan Pablo Descartes

How does it work?

Usually students have one or two tutorials every week, often taking place in their college. Tutorials normally last about an hour, during which the tutor will give you feedback on prepared work on a particular topic. They may also use the opportunity to introduce a new topic and discuss this.

The Salvington School of the Planetary Prince

[inner--islands]

Interview with Channelers (December 2021)

Steve Targo, of Nimbudala, interviewed Sean Conrad about his latest Channelers albums on Inner Islands. The interview was conducted in a Q&A format over email.

1. What made you decide to pick up the guitar again? Was it the desire to learn finger picking?

It was really a matter of working with my limitations at the time. At the time I had a rehearsal space that I could get loud in (where I recorded a lot of Isles Beyond), but it was shut down because of the lockdown. And my apartment is a very small one bedroom that I share with my partner, Rosa, so it’s usually a bit of a hassle to set up my gear and then tear it down every time I want to play. So acoustic guitar is pretty much the only instrument that’s compact enough to leave out, that I can casually just pick up and play for a little bit. I was inspired to try fingerpicking with my whole right hand (as opposed to the two-finger method I used to employ) while reading the book Dazzling Stranger, about Bert Jansch and the ‘60s folk revival. More fingers means more possibilities!

2. How come you stopped playing for a while? It seems that guitar was prominent in your early music as Ashan & gkfoes vjgoaf.

I kind of phased out of playing as much guitar around 2013 when I got my dulcimer. That really satisfied a lot of my acoustic desires and was a new sound to play with. I also got much more into making electronic music. At this point I’m less interested in electronic pursuits and just want to play tactile instruments.

3. Despite the gentle, soothing nature of Another Entrance, you sound re-invigorated in your playing. Was it because of the guitar or was it more from being inspired by 60s British folk music?

It’s probably a combination of things. I’ve been listening to a lot less atmospheric and ambient music and more to folk, rock, pop, and other more attention-centric musics. Also, I composed the majority of the pieces on AE before recording them (except the two piano pieces) and spent a long time practicing them. I feel like I was able to bring a lot more energy and confidence to the performances when it came time to lay them down on tape.

4. What is it about that scene, that music, that inspired you?

I love that so much of that music has these threads which trace back into antiquity. There is such a rich heritage to that folk music. It has always been in flux: people changing lyrics, changing tunes, and passing those along (most orally/aurally) for generations. It’s constantly in evolution and there is no such thing as a definitive version of any of those pieces. When people started collecting those songs in the late 1800s and writing them down and recording them on wax cylinders and such, people were in a preservationist mindset. Those tunes kind of stagnated for decades and decades and in the 1960s musicians were decidedly much more free with their interpretations of that work and breathed a new life into it and wrote new music in the spirit of those tunes. I think it’s that new breath in confluence with a lot of other things that were happening at the time.

5. Really, you released two Channelers albums on 10/22. Were the songs on Messages From One of Deeper Within recorded the same time as those on Another Entrance? How did you decide which song appeared on which album?

Side A of “Messages” was recorded at the same time. Side B is a track from the “Isles Beyond” sessions and a track from the “Faces of Love” sessions. I made a lot of different playlists for possible versions of AE, which all told different narratives. The narrative I went with was the one that I felt most dialogued with the album cover. There were a lot of other pieces from those sessions still to choose from for “Messages” and I just picked tracks that were mostly focused on the performance of a solo instrument.

6. You have developed a unique & captivating style in your role as artist. How do you create the illustrations you use for album art? Is it 100% digital? If so, why & what program(s) do you use?

I use Adobe Photoshop and sometimes Illustrator. Yeah, it’s all digital. My laptop has a touchscreen, so I’m also able to use a stylus for some human touch.

7. What projects are you working on now?

I’m wrapping up a collaborative album with Rosa. Hopefully it will be out early next year! I’m finishing another collaboration with Matt and Ash from Flower Room. And I’m always working on new material with Michael Henning for our Skyminds project. We get together every week and work on tracks. We have about six hours of unreleased material at the moment and we’re hoping to release some of it soon! I’m also beginning to work on another Channelers album.

8. Let’s talk about Inner Islands, which is 11 years old now! What keeps you going in your role as head of the label? What does the future hold for Inner Islands?

It’s kinda wild how long it’s been going now! And I’ve been running it for 8 of those years, which sounds way longer than it’s felt. I feel like Inner Islands is my musical home; it’s this sacred and deeply comfortable space for me. And what Inner Islands “is” is both this unchanging thing, this field that Braden established at the outset, and yet the manifestations of that are always changing and developing. I get a lot of joy out of teasing out that thread! The future holds a further unraveling of that musical journey.

9. What inspires you right now?

Moving my body every day! I’ve also seen a lot of heart-centric TV shows this year, which has been enlivening: Star Trek (Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager), Ted Lasso, and Pose, among others. Musically, I just went through a deep phase with King Crimson and related projects. The McDonald and Giles album was a revelation. My friend, Noah Klein, has also been a part of setting up the FLOATING outdoor show series in Los Angeles and I got to play and attend a couple of those in October. They were fantastic! I hope to see more music outdoors soon.

10. What words of wisdom do you like to recall in times of need?

I am the creator of my own experience. I always find that to be an empowering idea.

Channelers is the work of Sean Conrad. He recently released Another Entrance and Messages From One of Deeper Within on Inner Islands on October 22nd on vinyl, cassette, and digital formats. The albums are available from our Bandcamp page.

[nny11writes]

i dunno, i feel like there's one thing with saying that adora hurt catram and another with saying that it's all her fault and she's an abuser too and i feel like that person's posts have always veered towards the latter category

you dont have to reply to this ask but thats the impression ive gotten from that blogger, excusing other characters while somehow shifting everything onto adora

I can see where you see that, but I’ll be honest I don’t interpret their posts that way. 

I like the tag line “Adora needs to own her shit” because that is a part of her character growth that we don’t talk about. Adora, just like Catra, does some awful shitty things during the show. Like, on screen explicitly bad behavior that often gets swept under the rug due to Adora’s usually good intentions.

I interpret the posts less as everything is Adora’s fault and she’s an abuser, and more as Adora has fucked up and been able to side step a lot of things she needs to unlearn. Some of these things can be abusive, especially if she never works on it.

But the posts also aren’t there to be well rounded extoling the bad and the good. They are laser focused on the bad behaviors and why they’re bad with a dash of here’s some reasons this happened which usually boils down to Shadow Weaver’s abuse of Adora, Adora’s maladaptive coping mechanisms, or ego. All of which are things that negatively impact Adora’s reactions and behaviors.

Just like any meta analysis, I don’t think it’s all true nor do I agree with everything presented. But I also think that the goal was to explore hurtful things that Adora does, so it’s going to focus more on that slant that anything else. In a hilarious twist one of the biggest things I really disagree with was an interpretation involving Glimmer, but there was plenty in there that I went “huh, that is a way to interpret the show”.

One of the things that is difficult with metas specifically is that they are often presented as a be all end all because that’s what makes a strong point. The point that Adora does often guilt trip Catra or that she does behave more physically violently at times towards her has to be broken down and explored, and stopping that to reassure (even more than was done in those posts) that Adora is a good person is reductive to the point of the analysis.

I don’t know if that makes sense, and this is probably just something we won’t see completely eye to eye on. But yeah, for me the posts don’t feel like they’re saying “Adora is an abuser who does everything wrong to hurt Catra on purpose” so much they read to me as “Adora is a victim of abuse who is struggling to learn new ways to live, who doesn’t (in the show) get to fully confront the ways she hurt someone due to growing up in such an unsafe and cruel manner. So let’s talk about the hurtful things she does that are heavily influenced by abusive behavior and tactics, the same way we’ve dived into Catra’s side of this coin.”

[kseniyagreen]

The drama Beyond Evil as a philosophical parable about human relationships.

The drama begins in the spirit of the classic detective story. A young policeman, Han Joo Won, arrives in the small provincial town of Manyang, the place where a murder took place 20 years ago and remains unsolved. Han Joo Won is talented, educated and has connections at the very top - his father is deputy chief commissioner of police. Han Joo Won is also full of enthusiasm, bordering on obsession, to solve a case that his father never solved. According to the laws of the genre, we have a limited number of suspects connected by a long history of relationships, keeping their own and other people's secrets. And the biggest secret seems to be Han Joo Won's partner, police officer Lee Dong Sik. Twenty years ago, he was arrested on suspicion of the murder of his sister, but released for lack of evidence.

The plot of Beyond Evil is well twisted, and a new intrigue is revealed behind each denouement. But at the same time, already in the first episodes, I felt that Beyond Evil could be more than just a good detective. And I was not wrong.

From the very first episodes, we plunge into the drama, like into a fabulous whirlpool. We get to know the life of a provincial town. We watch Lee Dong Sik intently, trying to figure out what is behind his extravagant behavior.  Shin Ha Kyun in this role masterfully  balances on the border of light and shadow, sober calculation and madness. In the meantime, we are wondering who he is - a "fallen angel" or a bright angel who fell from a height and broke his wings. We look into the faces of all the heroes, trying to determine which of them is the monster. And gradually we are imbued with the mesmerizing  beauty of this world and its inhabitants. 

At first, Han Joo Won was perceived as an outsider. "Young master" in an expensive suit, completely alien among the ordinary people of Manyang. And it's not just about social status. Han Joo Won chose this role for himself - an independent observer who looks from above at the ugliness of this world and does not touch the dirt. However, the further he progresses in his research, the more personal it becomes, and the mask of equanimity slips from his face. This is how a classic detective story turns into a psychological journey - to feelings and memories walled up in the basements of the soul, into a journey to someone else and to oneself. Because these two processes always go together - to find yourself, you need to see the other and be seen. Find your own reflection in the other person's eyes. 

The drama Beyond Evil is a real maze of reflections. Each significant event, the history of each hero has its own reflection. Some of them are false, some of them are true, but all these fragments, put together, allow you to see the truth. There is such a method of image restoration - from several dull and even distorted reflections, you can recreate a real image.  We recognize heroes by the way they are reflected in each other. And each new meeting, each new dialogue is another step towards finding a real face. This approach makes the image of each character multidimensional and deep.

The drama really captures all aspects of the relationship. Family relationships – healthy or toxic. Relations with oneself, relationships with the world, social relationships - the law and its implementation. Morality as the ability to contact. Breaking up relationships like disappearing. The attitude towards the deceased loved ones and the ways of dealing with loss, with death. Relationships are alive, supportive and healing. Relationships are codependent, burdensome and suffocating. Personality always lives in a relationship. Fencing off from the world, a person cuts off a part of himself and, ultimately, can completely die as a person. This is how a person turns into a monster.

“Everyone in the city is like one family,” says Han Joo Won of the residents of Manyang. And he is absolutely right. All heroes are connected to each other by a whole network of threads. But somewhere these are the supporting threads of life, and somewhere they are suffocating fetters. The family image is central to the drama. Everything begins with it - everything ends with it. For each of the heroes, this word means something different - a project, a burden, a duty, a dream of absolute happiness. But for everyone, it carries a lot of weight. Thus, a small town turns out to be a global metaphor for a community, a social family, in which our humanity is born, but sometimes dies. The density of connections and meanings in the drama is so great that not only each character, but the whole world of the drama is felt as something living, animated. The city of Manyang is not just a place of action, but an independent character. The whole city, as an integral living system, exists according to its own laws. The Beyond Evil story is the story of Manyang's illness and healing.

What's also great about the Beyond Evil is that there is no moralizing in it. Despite the great semantic load, the author does not reduce everything to one idea, does not teach, but shows reality in its complexity, even paradoxicality. Each character is a part of a big picture, an element of the inner life of an integral system. But also everyone is a separate unique person, with their own choice and responsibility for this choice. The story of the Beyond Evil is the story of Manyang, but it’s just as much the story of two people meeting. It is no coincidence that all the main scenes are "doubled". If you look at the titles of the episodes, you can see that the pairing is "sewn" into the very structure of the script. As if the whole story is a long dialogue between two, a series of questions and answers. Each character in the drama is interesting. Each has its own story, its own drama, its own unique personality. But the main axis of the whole story is the meeting and dialogue of the two main characters.

Lee Dong Sik and Han Joo Won, so different, but equally extraordinary, strong in spirit, but practically buried under the rubble of their own psychological trauma. Throughout the drama, they continually drift apart and collide, let go and catch each other, meeting again each time on a deeper level. They go a long way from mutual irritation, exploitation, projecting their fears and expectations onto each other, to true mutual understanding. Throughout the entire drama, the characters stare at each other - with suspicion, with rage, with interest, admiration, tenderness. But invariably - with intense attention, as if looking for something very important in each other's eyes. And in the end they find and return to each other the opportunity to be themselves - whole, feeling, alive. In my opinion, Beyond Evil, like no other drama, showed us an example of perfect human contact. At that difficultly attainable level, when you see and accept another as he is, in his true essence. The bromance of the main characters of the Beyond Evil is so beautiful that it overshadowed all the drama love lines for me. In fact, this is a "love story" - like the love of one soul for another soul. Someone sees them as a mentor and student. Someone sees them as father and son or even as a couple in love. In my opinion, we were specially shown these relations at such a level of generalization that each viewer is free to interpret them in his own way. For me, they are the embodiment of the idea of an existential meeting, beyond any categories.

The Beyond Evil is a theatrical chamber drama. But this simplicity of the means has a deep meaning. The real challenge for an artist is to show everyday reality as something magical, wonderful, and sometimes monstrous. And the Beyond Evil succeeded to create a heroic epic in the scenery of a small provincial town, where a butcher's shop, the basement of an old house or a reed field feel like a mystical place. Where dramatic battles and wonderful metamorphoses take place in the dialogues between the characters. Magic is created in the Beyond Evil, not taking away from reality, but immersing it in it. This is the fantasy world that really exists - in the space of the human psyche, in relationships between people.

This is a huge burden on the actors. They don't just need to play their characters, the actors pretty much create the world and atmosphere of the drama. And they also need to show the development and even the rebirth of their characters. Many characters in the drama wear masks. But in the end all the masks will be removed, ripped off or washed away by the rain. And under someone's mask we will find a monstrous grin, and under someone's - a beautiful face. Shin Ha Kyun and Yeo Jin Goo play characters whose faces change throughout the drama. In each new episode, they experience new trials, different emotions, but their eyes express not only situational emotions, but also profound personality changes. In some scenes, they need to act so subtly that it is like walking on a tightrope. A slightly different expression - and the impression would be wrong. But the actors are perfect in every shot.

The talent of all the participants has created an amazing artistic world. It's like the famous Doctor Who machine - more inside than outside. And you can dive into this depth over and over again, finding new nuances and meanings.

[derpyslurpy-da-derp-master]

I mean Nuts and Dolts may be gone but it still had moments actually interpretable as romance unlike Whiterose. The last two seasons of no development plus the VAs directly saying they don't see Whiterose happen canonically, did an irreparable damage to the likelyhood of the ship being a thing. I don't know what else has to be said to convince those few stubborn fans that Whiterose, while being a cute fanon concept, is probably never going to go beyond fanfiction, and baiting themselves will only result in more disappointment...i mean, it's kind of time to move on, and i say that as a former Whiterose fan.

Nuts and Dolts may be dead but Whiterose never even lived if you ask me personally...

oh so we're doing this now

we're doing this now okay let me pull up a chair-

If you sincerely think that Whiterose doesn't have any chance, and I don't mean to be rude here, you might not have been paying attention. Because these two are loud. They are absurdly loud in how in love they are and Volume 7 was a fluke. One dry season does not cancel out literal years of content! And you think that Nuts and Dolts had moments that felt romantic, and yeah they definitely had moments like that and it was very cute, but they had plenty of moments that were just as romantically inclined as Weiss and Ruby, albeit a lot fewer because Penny was, (is?) well, dead. There is a mountain of content I could post here but in the interest of not making this super long because I’m pretty busy rn with projects and this is cutting into my Tumblr time enough as it is...

For one, Whiterose is constantly compared to Bumbleby, the one cannonical WLW ship out of our main cast, in Volume 6 (best volume in my opinion, loved it so much) in the intro the affection between these two is shown as a direct contrast to Yang and Blake to show how at odds the bees were at by showing how close and loving the roses are. When you’re explicitly comparing a pair of character’s relationship to the relationship of a cannon one, that says a lot. It’s why the Bees are compared to Renora a lot too, there’s a lot of power in explicit parallel's and foils. This didn’t need to be here but it is. I don’t think I need to argue why the bees are cannon and definitely romantically involved so I’m not gonna, moving on-

Let me introduce you to Weiss’ ‘I am madly in love with Ruby Rose’ smile as well

She smiles at Ruby like this all the time throughout Volume 6 (and a few times in V5) and never looks at anyone else like this. Okay imagine Ruby was a man, say Jaune. Look me in the eyes and tell me that wouldn’t immediately be taken as romantic by everyone excluding fans including me that just want Jaune to be friends with Weiss and the rest of the crew and nothing more. I could go into this further, but again short for time. And I know that we all love our ship captains Arryn and Barbara, but the voice actors aren’t the ones writing the show, sure it might not be their preference, but, you know who has bearing on all of this and is a reliable source of information on the show?

Yeah. Yeah.

I’ll just leave you with a few more pictures of these gaybies and get back to my current writing and drawing projects, I hope this didn’t come across as mean spirited, that wasn’t my intention. Hope you have a lovely day! :D

Also thank you for being on anon, I know there’s probably people round these parts not as chill as me who’d go ape shit in your ask box over this and that’d suck, good on ya!

[wingedshoes]

Share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order Then send this to 10 people (anon or not, your choice) 🎥🎬📺

hi Nivi ♥️ this sounds fun. I KNOW I WROTE A LOT BUT I WAS DOING SOUL SEARCHING and i hope you read all of it. No two from one piece huh? Alright then:

1. Haley James Scott from One Tree Hill

starting with the ones I kin the most, Haley (until she decided to give up her dream college and didn't get an abortion) is the most relatable character I've ever seen. I feel on the outside of a lot of things in life even though I can charm my way into everywhere, it takes a lot out of me in this way, being what people want you to be. Someone who also loves endlessly and unconditionally. That's what I admire the most in her.

2. Holly Golightly from Breakfast At Tiffany's (the BOOK NOT THE MOVIE)

Audrey's a fashion icon, there's no doubt but I've read the movie summary and they've butchered the soul of the book, its theme, its meaning-

if I were Truman Capote i would simply not write another book in my lifetime. ANYWAY. Holly is a sad, rude, gorgeous and lively spirit. The narrator of the book is unnamed and Holly calls him Fred for Fred, her long lost brother who was the only family she spoke of voluntarily. Holly's society card always says "miss holly Golightly- travelling" which can be interpreted in a myriad of ways, you can find your own once you read the book, Nivi. The narrator is also heavily implied to be queer and the only person who isn't sexually attracted to Holly and THEY RUINED THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN THE MOVIE. Do not get me started. Conclusion: Breakfast at tiffany's is the feminist Catcher in the Rye and also fuck hollywood.

3. Dream of the Endless - The Sandman, Netflix

I don't read comics so I just went into the show blind. And I want this show to eat me. It's so unpredictable and wild. Morpheus is a prideful entity first and foremost. A loyal one but petty beyond anything. I find his personality so very fitting considering he oversees both dreams and nightmares. I almost wrote about the Corinthian (I HAVE DONE MY BEST TO BE WHAT YOU MADE ME) but I don't understand them very well yet whereas Dream feels like my best friend. His fraught relationship with Calliope is so delicate I want to boop it to see if it'll blast.

4. Anne Shirley - Anne of Green Gables, Lucy maud Montgomery

Man, anne is who tween me was before the parental trauma hit. Talks too much, obsessed with my own hair, obsessed with literature, obsessed with violence against boys, romanticizes my name and my life to mean something anything. I could go on and on. But there's this line right before Matthew dies: something about this being the last day her heart would be light and full of pure happiness. Because once you lose someone to death, your heart is never the same.

5. Daenerys Targaryen

My GIRL DESERVES THE THRONE. Okay so i have the 7 book boxed set right? worst decision. ever. i gave up in the middle of second last one and I refuse to pick it up again until GRRM gives a real update on Winds of Winter. not to mention those last two books are unbearable because Dany has no chapters. THE PART WHERE SHE FREES THE SLAVES. I'm fully on board with her villain era but not the rushed way they killed her journey in the show idk tho i haven't seen the show. aaaaaaaaaaa-

6. Alec Lightwood

I read tmi so long ago and I felt this connection to Alec. It's probably the Older Sibling Of A Family Balanced On a Nail energy we have in common, where we just give away pieces of ourselves to keep others happy. It makes me happy to see him happy as an adult. It makes me feel like that could happen for me too.

7. Regina George from Mean Girls

Um, this was Edmund Pevensie five mins ago but you know what, I love Regina too much. Tina Fey's writing>>>>> and Rachel McAdams>>>>> and the way Regina never backs down from threats. Her manipulation is so subtle she doesn't even raise her voice or sound unpleasant until the end of the movie. I think Regina George and Kaz Brekker would learn from each other. Masters of the mind.

8. The Night Circus

Yeah. No characters, just the circus. The feeling of it. I think it's big enough don't you? Its immortality and love shines through even when one of the sisters is gone, when Marco and Celia are gone, they aren't, not really.

9. Mirabel from Starless Sea

There's a major part of who Mirabel actually is which is a huge spoiler, if you've read this book I'll tell you. But basically, I love how kind Mirabel tries to be given who she is.

10. Marinette Dupain Cheng from Miraculous Ladybug

my lady, my bestie, my twin sister. she's so anxious and carrying the weight of Paris with no one to share it with her except her cat partner. I just love this animated kids show and I wish other teens did too so I could talk about it more. My life these days revolves around fanfics of Marinette and Adrien. I debated choosing Adrien or Luka or Kagami because MLB has only relatable, sad teenagers trying to find love and fighting badly dressed super villains.

Hon. Mentions: Cher from Clueless, Aisha from Aisha (the sonam kapoor one) and Astrid from Crazy rich asians

[pendragyn]

So I have a conundrum of a spiritual nature that I don't have anyone to talk to about so I am going to throw it into the void and see if anyone has helpful advice on it. I am NOT interested in the input of non-believers and jerks will be summarily blocked.

With that said, here is some background about me and my situation: I am witchy in a vague low spell-slot / dealing with major burnout sort of way and I have very specific *to me* beliefs about spiritual things that I won't go into, but I do enjoy and believe in tarot/divination as mostly a "headology" sort of thing - a conduit of sorts, though I don't know if it's inner or outer, and I'm not sure it matters.

SO, on the night of the 14th - 15th (which is significant to me) I saw a video of @rrrrriiiiooooottttt on tiktok doing a community tarot reading, which I logically know that masses of people saw but there were parts of it that felt very personal to me.

Firstly, my mom gave me her Waite-Rider-Smith deck like 30 years ago and I am relatively familiar with the deck's imagery, but beyond that it resonated because my mom's passed and I would have discussed this with her.

Secondly, some of the specific cards felt personal too, and when I did a few readings for myself they popped up again. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.

The reading itself was titled as "this is a message from Lucifer to you" which certainly had me smirking until it hit a nerve lol. They didn't pull cards so much as ask questions and shuffle until cards slipped from their hands in answer.

The cards in order; King of Cups and 9 Cups together, Emperor alone, King of Wands and 8 Wands, Queen of Pentacles alone, then 6 Wands, The Magician, (9 Pentacles which was mostly hidden behind other cards), Page of Swords, and Temperance all together. They interpreted it all to mean Lucifer was reaching out to work with people to overcome challenges faster than they might otherwise, see the bigger picture and find balance and abundance.

So I did a deep dive into analysing the cards they pulled, finding more stuff that resonated, and contemplated that for a couple days. Then I did my own readings on two different decks asking if a spirit was reaching out to me, yes, if it was malicious, no.

I asked if it was the pre-xian version of Lucifer and had cards falling as I shuffled, which is unusual for me. I interpreted them as a yes. (K of Pent, Strength, Ace of Pent, 6 Wands, 6 Cups)

So I asked "What now?" for lols and pulled the Queen of Cups which made me wonder if I should look for a writing mentor.

Then I asked if I should persue 3 certain writers as mentors and pulled a single card for each name, which got me the 5 Wands, The Devil lmao, and 9 Swords, all of which felt like big nos.

Lastly I asked if I should work on the magnum opus fanfic that I haven't worked on in a year and got the Lovers, which, I mean, yes, but also is a card that I actually reference in the story which knocked me for a loop lmao.

So now I'm at a loss because I've never worked with a spirit and I'm not sure how, or if I actually want to. If I could just write I would have by now lol so it's a real "Now what?" moment. The one person I'd discuss this with isn't exactly available for comment (and would probably freak tf out if she were alive lol). Anyone have experience they're willing to share, with Lucifer or any other spirits?

I am intrigued by the idea of working with a spirit, and am absolutely tickled by the thought of getting to say I made a deal with the devil, ngl, but I need some feedback from more knowledgeable people before I commit.

I don't know if anyone will see this but here's hoping. 💜

[morihaus]

Apotheosis

Winds howl outside of the Imperial Palace. Belharza, son of the Emperor Alessia, sits alone in his chair in the chamber of the council. The weather has not been the only thing weighing on the city of Rumarium; for days now the Emperor has been poor of health, the toll of all her life's toil and struggle finally arriving to meet her on her deathbed, the somber hand of Arkay, the bitter kiss of Kyne.

Twelve hours hence, she has been dead. Her son survives her as only child and heir to her throne. The city mourns her, and as word spreads, all of Cyrod mourns its mother, its liberator and caretaker, its Emperor for 23 years- just 23, such a pittance when stacked up to the tyranny of the Ayleid hegemony, which to men seemed to stretched beyond the farthest point of remembrance, so many lives ago that the time before exists only in myth. The First-crowned Queen-ut-Cyrod deserved better than this. Belharza's mother deserved better.

He feels a breeze blow in from behind him, a wind coursing through the marble halls of the palace, blowing his long dark hair over his shoulders. It is only wind, and then, footfalls on the floor, slow and heavy, in stark contrast to the flight of the wind. Belharza lifts his head and glances over his shoulder. A massive minotaur fills the doorway to the council chamber, long hair waving and curling down his shoulders like a sky of black clouds. His horns are tall and proud, wrapped with rings of gold and ebony, strung with strings of hawk's feathers. Two large wings are folded on his back. The cold wind blows behind him.

He regards his son with deep blue eyes, clouded and gray, belying his true age. The old bull looks weary. "Belharza." His voice is deep, carried and reverberated by the chambers even as he addresses him gently. He steps forward, his armor of fur and iron the only noise apart from his footsteps, and the gentle wind that surrounds him.

Belharza stands up from his seat. He meets the eye of Morihaus- he can see now why his mother has often remarked their resemblance with a melancholy smile, although his own hair does not roll like the clouds do, his own eyes do not hold the dangerous glimmer of lightning, nor does his form hold the foreboding rumble of thunder. He did, however, sprout a small pair of wings from an early age- too small to be useful, but just enough to be there. It is among the only things his father has ever given him.

"Father." Belharza speaks flatly, his mood dark, unfit for this meeting he had always dreamed of. He never knew Morihaus growing up, he'd taken flight from the Imperial City before he was born, something his mother had never been bitter over, and for the most part, he'd followed her line of thinking. He had often wondered, though, speaking with the clan of Morihaus- for he was a great uncle to many war chiefs and soothsayers- and hearing tales of his greatness, his good humor and passion for song, and he wondered too while speaking to the Paravanics who had fought alongside him and his mother, who spoke of him as a great general, savior of men, one who could clear a treeline with his voice- he wondered what it would be to meet his father, this mythical figure of his boyhood who so many grownups seemed to know.

He wondered, but he had never pictured the meeting like this.

Morihaus walked so that there was only a small distance between the father and son, and then bowed his head- in sympathy, in apology, in reverence, Belharza could not say.

But he says this: "She is gone." And when his father does not move, he continues. "She has left us. Gone to join you, I suppose." His words are without venom, he states them as a fact he wishes to grow used to. His father raises back up to meet him. His features are set in a worried frown. "I am sorry, Belharza." He breathes into the room as a whisper. "For my loss?" He asks plainly. "Or, do you wish to amend your own absence from my life?" His face does not change. "I should like to apologize on both accounts, dear Bel."

"Did you come to see her?" Belharza asks, neutral once again.

Morihaus nods. "I felt her time approach and made haste." The face of a minotaur is not extraordinarily emotive to a man, but to a man-bull, like Belharza, he can interpret the subtleties, the shame painted on his face, the guilt in his eyes. "In service to my Mother Kyne, I have carried many souls of great warriors on wing to her realm, or to the realm of Shor... it was understood between us, your mother was a great warrior, an ardent follower of her ways, and she would have her place there. But when I arrived..." He becomes quiet, his full and melodious voice withdrawing back down his throat, filling his lungs up heavy with bitter words.

Belharza makes no motion to speak. He only looks at his father, expectantly. He continues, eventually.

"What I witnessed is... difficult to explain. You were present- did you see? As she passed?" Morihaus asks. Belharza nods. "I was there." He pauses. "...I may have seen, something. I see many things that others do not. Mother always said you were to thank for that, your divine blood." The old bull nods at him. "Aye, that is the truth. The mortal and the divine, they see things differently. On that balcony, at her side... he arrived before me."

"The Crusader." He says, half-questioningly. "Pelinal."

A huff of hair blows out from Morihaus's snout. "It looked that way. But Pelinal is dead. He was torn asunder in this tower, he spoke to me as his spirit passed into a place I could not follow. And this... apparition, in it, I did not sense his spirit. Did you hear?" Belharza nods quietly, Morihaus continues. "What he spoke of, the et'ada, the beginning place, the movements of the heavens... in life, he never did say much of the gods. He served them, and I knew him as kin, but he has always held a distaste for spiritual matters, spoken in mortal tongues. I cannot fathom why he came to Paravania, nor what he meant to say."

"He took her," Belharza says, glancing to the floor. "I saw- I thought I saw. It looked as though he carried her up, up into the heavens."

"He steals mine own honor." Morihaus snorts, almost laughs. Then, again, he grows serious. "My uncle was never one to covet in life. He hungered, he wanted, but he did not covet that which was another's. He would have nothing to do with Perrif's soul, nothing before my mother and I."

His son looks back up to him. "Where... where did he take her? To the halls of Shor?"

Morihaus shakes his head. "I have been myself- Pelinal's spirit does not reside there. It cannot reside there. I would have carried him myself if he could." He hangs his head some, recalling the passing of his uncle, and finding himself on complicated ground betwixt mundane and immortal once again. "I have thought on it in these past years. At times, I blew through the great fields and forests, delved into the deep oceans, soared to the highest points in the clouds, hunting his spirit, without luck. I am wise enough to confess my stubborn nature, for divine I may be, I am still a bull, and I hunted for long on my own before thinking to ask my mother."

Belharza tries to conceive of what his father says- the shape of a bull with the wings of a hawk, darting throughout all of creation to find a departed soul. He suspects it may be more complicated than that, some divine metaphor twisting around it, but then again, he recalls fondly-remembered stories his mother would share of Morihaus, his willfulness and the strange places it could take him- times he would cross over the Jerrals, travel half the continent while meant to be petitioning in Skyrim, to return to Cyrod and meet with her at night.

The image of his father, flighty and wild, turning over logs and stones searching for the lost Pelinal, it's almost enough to lighten his expression. But this is just his own mind wandering. Perhaps they are more alike than he knows.

"Understanding my mother is no mean feat," He says, regarding his son. "Strange as I must seem to you, know that to me, my divine parent is just as alien. I am her, but as am I my mortal mother, my mortal people, my mortal self, and some of her perceptions are all but lost on me. She told me little, she told that Pelinal had done what was needed of him, and to die with the revolution's victory was a good end... but as to his whereabouts, she said he was not her soul to keep." "Then whose?" Belharza asks. He is met with silence, frustrating silence. He asks more forcefully. "Whose? Where is my mother's soul? What did he do to her?" "He pulled her up- made her from mortal to spirit, so she might lay among the heavens forever. Queen-ut-Cyrod, brighter than the stars-" "I don't care for your poetry-" Belharza loudly asserts, his own voice now booming in the hall. "I don't care for your god-talk- dammit!" He turns to one side with a huff, boots clattering against the tiles of the chamber. He paces away from his father in no particular direction, approaching a column and glaring into it.

Morihaus looks on, forlorn. He sighs, and the breeze almost wraps itself around Belharza's shoulders as it tussles his hanging braids, like some form of comfort. "I'm sorry. This... is what I hope for, Bel, but whether it is the truth, I cannot say."

"What do I care?" Belharza shakes his head, clenching his fists at his sides. "Whether her spirit is in one place or another- she's gone, that's what has happened today, and that is the grief I will carry for the rest of my life. What is the point in wondering where she is? The realm of Kyne, of Shor, of Akatosh, it makes no difference, she is gone to me any way." His voice grows ragged as he chokes with tears, his eyes stinging with bitter sorrows. Though a grown man, he feels helpless like a child in the face of such a loss- his mother had been his world, and now the shadow of death had ripped her away from him, and she was gone, forever.

His father approaches him, but leaves a fair distance, just slight enough for his whispering voice to carry to him. "Do you remember what she told you, Bel, about me? When I was gone to you?" Belharza does not reply, only taking a breath as he remains fixed on the pillar in front of him. "...I am a spirit, Bel. I am more than my body, more than a man-bull. I am the skies and storms, the thunder; I am movement, I am the movements in the hearts of men, I am their battlecry; I am the wind in the rolling hills, blowing the grasses and flowers; I am the breeze in the canopy of the forest, swaying the branches; I am the gale upon the sea, the scent of it in your lungs, I am the very breath that you take." Belharza finally turns to face his father again, without expression, with tears on his face. Morihaus is not shaken from his words. "When a mortal dies, their spirit is released into a vast cosmos. They are gone from their lives, from their loved ones, but from there, there are many roads, countless paths that a soul can take... do you understand?"

He only receives an expectant look. Belharza's face lightens somewhat. There is hope in the winding words of Morihaus.

"Though I was forced to leave you, and could no longer walk this world as I had, I found my ways to you- to both of you. It has been, and will be forever, a great pain that I could not stay... but there are some ways in which my presence could be felt, some ways in which I was there all along." Morihaus steps forward, slowly raising his hand to brush Belharza's hair from his face, as gently as the breeze, as his own mother's hand. "Your mother will be gone as I was. You will feel her. She will still be with you."

---

Belharza was anointed Emperor before the Elder Council and the citizens of the Imperial City, including his divine father, who could not stay for long, but was pleased to see and know his son as a man, and content to answer the questions of the citizenry to the best of his ability, or at least his want.

The new emperor spends the first weeks of his reign still in mourning, but more hopeful for having spoken with his father and his other relatives, who gave him heart to imagine his mother at peace. He spends much of his days outdoors, honoring her memory in the gardens and outside the city walls, even beyond the shores of the Rumare and into the jungles. On one occasion, which would be a moment only for him to know and remember, he stumbles upon a field of flowers below a small hill. He finds it a good place to say his piece, and there he would speak to his mother, expressing his deepest affections and tearful goodbyes. All of the sudden, he feels drops of water landing on his bowed head, and he looks up to see a spring running from the rock, a spring which had most definitely not been there before. As though the land of Cyrod itself were weeping for him.

At this, Belharza only smiles knowingly.

[zippityzap]

Sonic Tarot Card Project: explanations for character picks

Recently I completed a summer-long project where I created Sonic themed versions of the tarot major acana. I put a lot of research and thought into what characters to assign to which cards, and I wanted to explain my rationale behind each one! (Everything’s under the read more cut because this is a very long post!)

To start off, let me explain why I did this project in the first place. This summer I watched Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure for the first time, and in Part 3, Stardust Crusaders, the majority of the stand abilities are named after the tarot major arcana. Thanks to cultural osmosis I vaguely knew the meanings of a few of the cards and I realised that one of the characters suited his assigned card pretty well. I was curious if this matched anyone else and so once I finished watching that part, I did research on tarot and found that yeah, a lot of them do match! That got me interested in tarot and since I like combining things I’m interested in, I decided to make Sonic versions of the cards.

I do want to note that while Jojo did inspire this project in a lot of ways, I tried not to let my character picks be influenced by Stardust Crusader characters, although there did end up being some picks that did coincidentally happen to match nicely anyway. Also, I’m not gonna lie, ever since picking these card choices I’ve been highly tempted to draw Sonic as Polnareff.

Anyway, on to my explanations for character choices!

0: The Fool (Charmy Bee)

The Fool represents innocence, spontaneity and recklessness. I believe Charmy’s happy and carefree nature, along with the simple fact that he’s essentially just a little kid who likes to have fun makes him a great fit for this card

1: The Magician (Infinite)

The Magician represents creation and strength, but also manipulation and narcissism, a good match for Infinite and the powers of the phantom ruby. (I was also very pleased to notice that the traditional art for the card has an infinity symbol- everything lined up very well!)

The Rider Waite version of the card also depicts a sword, a wand, a cup and a pentacle; the suits of the minor arcana. I have attempted to depict these with various objects from the Sonic series, namely Infinite’s sword from the IDW Forces prequel comic, the sceptre of darkness from '06, a chaos emerald, and a ring respectively.

2: The High Priestess (Princess Elise)

The High Priestess represents secrets, repression, and the unknown, which I believe fits with Elise’s initial desire to control her emotions and her sadness. (Admittedly this is one of the looser character/card connections for this project, but my two other picks for this card I felt were better suited to different cards)

3: The Empress (Vanilla the Rabbit)

The Empress represents nurturing, fertility and childbirth, all traits that I believe make this card a good pick for a kind, caring mother like Vanilla

4: The Emperor (Dr Eggman)

A card fitting for the leader of the Eggman Empire! The Emperor represents authority, power, and tyranny, all traits Dr Robotnik desires, if not possesses in many continuities.

5: The Hierophant (Espio the Chameleon)

The Hierophant represents wisdom and tradition, and in both upright and reversed forms it has large connections to the concept of social conformity. Perhaps I’m drawing more from the various comic versions of Espio, but he comes across to me as someone who is hyper-aware about how he presents himself.

Fun fact: a hierophant is essentially another word for a religious leader, although I’ve never seen it used outside the context of tarot. I assume the religious connection is the reason why in the OST of the Jojo part 3 anime, Kakyoin’s theme is called Noble Pope.

6: The Lovers (Amy Rose)

The Lovers represents love, communication, and passion; and Amy is certainly a character who wears her heart on her sleeve! She’s a good example of a character who I feel fits a number of different cards, however there are no other characters who suited The Lovers quite as much as her.

7: The Chariot (Sonic the Hedgehog)

The Chariot represents journeys, wanderlust as well as the ambition and willpower to achieve your goals, which I believe is the perfect match for Sonic’s adventurous and heroic spirit. This was one of the first cards I decided on and it’s probably the one I’d defend my interpretation of the most.

If you’re wondering why there’s dark and hero chao in the artwork too, it’s because the original card art depicts the titular chariot being pulled by black and white sphinxes, and this is my way of calling back to that.

8: Strength (Maria Robotnik)

This card pick might seem unusual at first if you take the word ‘strength’ at face value, however considering the original card art depicts a maiden peacefully taming a lion, perhaps the Strength card represents inner strength, courage and determination rather than physical strength. These are traits that I believe Maria possesses.

9: The Hermit (Knuckles the Echidna)

The Hermit signifies awareness and independence but when reversed can mean isolation and resignation, traits that parallel well with Knuckles and his duty to be the protector of the Master Emerald

10: The Wheel of Fortune (Big the Cat)

The Wheel of Fortune represents fate, karma and luck! This is admittedly a bit of a cheeky dig at myself since I’m awful at the Big fishing levels in SA1 and mostly got through them through luck. But that’s not to say the card doesn’t apply to Big himself! His frequent cameos do have a bit of a fate/destiny vibe to them and in IDW Big is lucky enough to manage to avoid the metal virus for quite a long time.

11: Justice (Vector the Crocodile)

The meaning of the Justice cards is… pretty much what it says on the tin: fairness and clarity. Of course the Team Chaotix detective agency represents this as a whole, but that trait especially shines through with Vector himself. He may be a little money oriented, but doing what is morally right always takes priority.

12: The Hanged Man (Shadow the Hedgehog)

The thing about Shadow is that he’s a fairly complex character which means there are a number of cards in the Major Arcana that match him well, but I knew early on when tackling this project that I wanted to assign Shadow to The Hanged Man. This card represents change, release and sacrifice, which all align well with the character arc that Shadow goes through during the course of SA2 and beyond.

13: Death (Tikal the Echidna and Chaos)

Despite the morbid name of the card, (and the admittedly macabre scene I’ve depicted) the Death card is not an inherently negative card to draw. Yes, it can mean endings and grief, but it can also mean letting go and new beginnings. The story that Tikal and Chaos go through in SA1, their anguish and how they later find peace, is something that I think pairs well with this particular card.

Fun fact: this is the only card in this project that has two significant characters on it rather than just one. I felt I needed both of them to be on the card in order to fully represent its meaning

14: Temperance (Blaze the Cat)

The Temperance card signifies balance, harmony and patience, which matches Blaze’s very poised and graceful demeanour. Admittedly I had a little bit of trouble deciding on a card for Blaze since the High Priestess and the Hierophant are also good matches for her.

15: The Devil (Rouge the Bat)

The Devil card represents temptation, seduction, and materialism and well… look, Rouge is one of my favourite Sonic characters, I’d be one of the first people to tell you that there’s a lot more to her than what initially appears, she is so much more complex than just sex appeal and a gemstone obsession. However, I felt there was no other character that matched the traits of this specific card better than Rouge, and so my choice was decided by that.

16: The Tower (E-123 Omega)

The Tower card represents a number of things; disruption, disasters, sudden changes etc, however the trait that made me believe that Omega would be the best selection for the card was violence.

17: The Star (Miles ‘Tails’ Prower)

Tails’ character arcs normally centre around him gaining independence and self-confidence and learning to believe in himself. He is also largely characterised by his unyielding faith and trust in Sonic. These traits are the reason why I believe The Star card represents him well, as it symbolises hope and faith.

18: The Moon (Shade the Echidna)

The Moon card symbolises mysteries and the unknown, and when Shade is first introduced in Chronicles, she and the rest of the Nocturnus Clan are certainly presented as mysterious. The Moon can also represent misconception, which fits well with how Shade was initially unaware of the true nature of Ix’s plans.

19: The Sun (Cream the Rabbit)

The Sun, when drawn in an upright position, has a lot of positive meanings! Freedom, fun, happiness, good luck etc. Cream’s cheerful and optimistic disposition makes her a good match for this card

20: Judgement (E-102 Gamma)

The Judgement card symbolises liberation, awakening, redemption and second chances, all of which I believe represent Gamma and his character arc in SA1 well

21: The World (Metal Sonic)

In the upright position, The World card symbolises triumph, completion, strength and happiness while in reversed position can mean failure, anxiety, lack of self-confidence etc. I had both positioning of the card in mind when connecting it to Metal Sonic; he is devoted to the tasks given to him and is self-assured in his belief that he is the true/superior ‘sonic’ yet he repeatedly finds himself at the hands of failure. But he doesn’t let previous failures hold him back, thus starting the cycle anew. (Another connection to the World card as it also symbolises cycles)

[dreamkidddream]

Hello sunshine, would it be possible for you to write me some headcanons for my beloved Chuuya, Dazai and Atsushi? I was thinking about them having a fragil health s/o? Maybe they work an office job in the ada/pm and they somehow fall for the s/o? I hope this is no trouble and you have inspiration to write this. If you don't like this you can just ignore it. Thank you very much :)

Hi anon! Thank you for the request! So I’m assuming that when you say fragile health s/o is that the reader can get sick easily/overall very weak? I hope that I got the interpretation right, and I didn’t please feel free to send it in again so I can do it over for you. Reader is gender neutral, and hope you enjoy!

TW: Suicide (Dazai’s part, nothing heavy is mentioned, and it’s only in one line) and Abuse (Atsushi’s, nothing heavy is mentioned)

Easily Sick/Weak S/O with: Chuuya, Dazai, and Atsushi

Chuuya

Oh man, he hated this feeling. He already hated you even working in the Port Mafia (even though he was there too), but he hated it even more since you were weak physically

Don’t get him wrong, Chuuya knows that you’re a strong person through and through, but it was so easy for you to get hurt or sick working on the field, it honestly made him worried

What also made him worried was how he was falling for you and quickly. He’s an executive! He doesn’t have the time for romance, and what if (really when if because he wants you so bad you have no idea) someone decides to come after you because of your ties with him? It was already so easy for him to lose you now, he didn’t want to chance things and speed up the process

But, you were just...a really great person. You were determined, always kept your head up, didn’t take anything from anyone (you backtalked Mori once and still walked away with your throat intact, so that was a sign), and it didn’t help that you were really easy on the eyes (he couldn’t help it, you were already attractive, and those things were just icing on the cake for him)

Chuuya didn’t know how you could stand being in a stuffy office all day, so he always stopped by to check on some “information” for some “case he’s working on). It started out genuine, but then it became a daily occurrence, even on his rare days off. 

One thing about him is that he’s a true gentleman, he knows how to treat his partner right. Bringing lunch to you, flowers sitting on your desk for no reason with a random note (”Hope you have a good day”, “Saw these when I was out, made me think about you”, “These don’t even compare to how beautiful you are, inside and out”, etc.), driving you home no questions asked, even offering you his favorite bottle of wine to share

He knows that he’s being cheesy but he was pulling out all the stops just for you

He knew it was risky for you to be out all the time, so whenever he did finally ask you on an “official” date (you thought sharing his wine was a date but he said that he wanted to show you off, not just in the office), you guys were either in a fully reserved restaurant or at his place. Seriously the way his place looks was like luxury! Damn you knew his job paid good money but wow! This was better than going out honestly

He confessed when you went over to his house one night. It was a particularly rough day for you both, and you just needed some reassurance which Chuuya was happy to give. It seemed like he went on for hours, but really it wasn’t too long, and you were in tears by the end of it. When he ended it with, “anyone would be beyond lucky to have you (Y/N), and I wish it were me. I wish I would have the chance to show you how much I really do love you, words aren’t enough for me. I’ll take the chance if you let me, and I swear you won’t regret it. Be mine, (Y/N), I’ll treat you like you deserve, and you deserve more than the world.”

You both understood the risks that came with dating you, but he swore that he would protect you with his life. If you did get sick, he couldn’t be there for you during the day because of his work, but he made sure to text you every hour on the hour to check on you and as soon as he got home, it was caretaker mode until you both went to bed

He bought you your medicine, the fluffiest pillows ever known to man, I mean did everything and anything. The dude was loaded, money was not an issue obviously

Chuuya is a great boyfriend, and will honestly do anything it takes to keep you safe and happy. He loves you after all, and he doesn’t mind all the extra work that comes with it (he doesn’t even see it as work, just precautions, which still isn’t a problem)

Dazai

He was not only worried about your health and safety, but also the fact that he was falling for you. Dazai was a very secretive person who didn’t like to show his true feelings, and he was scared of what he’s feeling for you. Him being attached and actually caring about people never paid off for him, as his past would tell you...

But here you were, being a bright, shining light in his cruel, bleak, dark world. He tried to keep his distance at first, but he couldn’t help but be drawn to you. You were so fun to be around, despite your condition! You always helped as much as you could in the office, being the first one to pick up on his work when he was too lazy busy to complete it and having reports ready for any meetings, even on short notice. You looked out for him, both as a coworker and as a caring friend, and he could tell

You even helped him annoy Kunikida sometimes, which just made you even more stunning in his eyes

He felt himself falling for you more and more everyday, finding excuses to stay in the office just to be next to you. “(Y/N), please don’t strain yourself my dear! Let me handle this for you, I would be a terrible suitor if I didn’t.” “Dazai, I just have to staple these- nevermind, thank you my knight wrapped in bandages!” 

Kunikida would of course hate this and drag him out every time, but all that it concluded in was Dazai whining and complaining about how it was so unfair that he was being kept from his “precious (Y/N)” and how they must be so lonely without him. It got to a point where Kunikida made a compromise with him: if he actually does some work and help on the field missions, then he can spend more time with you in the office

I feel like they forget that Dazai is actually crazy smart and most likely already knows the culprits to whatever cases that they are handling, and he was definitely waiting for this outcome. No extra work for him and more time with you. It’s a win-win!

When he does eventually accept that he was in too deep, he started to take his advances in a more serious manner (I mean he was always being serious but he was not going to hold back anymore). He’s a great listener, so anything that said wanted that was said in passing conversation, expect it to be on your desk with a little sticky note. You had a strong craving for something? What do you know, Dazai brought just enough for both of you to share (and he gave you the bigger portion of it). You want to go see the stars? Sounds like the perfect date night for you two!

That’s how he actually confessed to you, right underneath the stars. It was perfect, you guys were away from everyone, having an amazing time just stargazing. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this at peace, and you were to thank for that. He knew that while he was risking his life on a daily basis, but you were constantly fighting for yours. You couldn’t even go on a mission with how easy it was for you to get an injury you couldn’t recover from. But he had faith in you and in himself, that he wouldn’t let another person that he cares for perish in front of him. He made that promise to you, and that he would do everything in his power to keep it. He will not fail you

After that night, your dates were usually held at your place, and it ranged from cooking together to having movie nights. You didn’t have to spend money really, you were both fine in the house in each other’s arms. And if you did get sick, you thought he was clingy before, WHEW did it get more intense

You had to push him off of you too many times to count. What part of NO HUGS did this man not get?! You were already suffering, he didn’t need to either. He did try to make this a double suicide opportunity though, and you were not very happy

Was banned from cuddles for 3 weeks straight, it was pure torture for him

You were Dazai’s distraction from this horrible joke he called a life, and he was welcoming of you. He embraced you, never complained about your weakness or anything. You were someone that he can proudly say that he loves, and that won’t ever change

Atsushi

He was so nervous, so scared. He doesn’t even know how to look everyone in the eye, how was he suppose to admit that he started to like you more than a friend?!

Atsushi was in love with you, I mean he was in deep. He couldn’t help it! You’re just so nice, so easy to talk to, always there to give him a pep talk and just keep him in high spirits. It just wasn’t fair what hand life had dealt you. He wanted to spend time with you outside of the office, but due to your delicate situation, he was so scared to. What if the Port Mafia tried to strike and he wasn’t strong enough or quick enough to protect you? He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if you died because of him. He wouldn’t be able to live-

So he tried (keyword: tried) to spend time with you at work. But with Kunikida on his ass about work, and Dazai being Dazai making his life difficult for his own amusement, made it difficult. Every time he got a chance, before he could even speak a word, someone needed him for something. If he did somehow had the spare time to talk to you, he would either choke or say something that he really meant but chickened out last minute and tried to change it (which was kinda your fault, you like to tease him sometimes too)

“So, um, (Y/N). I remembered that you said you liked that one takeout spot, so if you want I can bring you some back?”

“You would do that for me, Atsushi? Wow, it’s almost like you’re like my boyfriend!”

“Yep, I don’t mind! It makes me happy when you’re hap-w-WAIT HU-“

But besides that, he always checked on your whenever he got back from his missions (even if he was the one injured and bleeding), brought you back small trinkets or food, and always walked you home, not caring if it was out of his way

He hated that you were confined to the office majority of your time working, but he was worried that literally anything could and would happen on his watch, and he didn’t want to risk it. With Kyoka tired of watching him in distress and even Dazai showing a sliver of compassion for him, they helped him set up an inside date

But first, he had to ask you. Dazai wanted him to do some elaborate, over the top, proposal for asking you out (which Atsushi was pretty sure that he just wanted him to panic and embarrass himself) and Kyoka suggested that he gets you tofu (which he was also convinced that she just wanted some again). He decided that he was just going to have to suck it up, and do it himself. He has been through Hell and back, and if he survived that, then he could ask you on a date damn it!

So he finally got some courage, and directly went up to your desk. When you looked up, you flinched back. What was with the intense look in his eyes?! But you realized soon enough when he bowed and asked you to come over for a date. And of course you said yes!

The date was marvelous, and the poor boy was sweating so much you thought he was going to pass out! Whatever Dazai and Kyoka did to the place blew his expectations out of the water. Latern lights strung up along the walls, your favorite meals readied, little messages stuck to the wall made just for you, and the biggest/most comfortable blanket fort that you had ever seen. It sounded so simple, but one look into your eyes and you were overjoyed. He really did mean it that it made him happy that you were happy

He confessed with you snuggled into his side, so anxious yet at ease. Despite everything that he has gone through, you were brave too. You were stuck in that stressful environment, had a body that could quit on you after one bad day, yet you still encouraged him every day, every time you spoke to him after he’s had a bad day, or an encounter with Akutagawa. He was so convinced that he didn’t you, that he didn’t deserve anything good in his life after the abuse he endured at the orphanage. But you didn’t let him believe that for a second, and he’s indebted to you for that

He poured his heart out to you that night, and ever since, he’s been a lot more confident, both in his ability and in himself. You gave him that push in the right direction to trust himself more, and everyone could see the change (Dazai was pretty proud to be honest)

Dates after that were spent at his apartment, relaxing. Once in a blue moon, you guys would go to the arcade where he won you guys matching Tiger phone charms (he was a little embarrassed but he loved you and the charms too much to let it affect him)

If you did become ill, he would panic so bad that you had to bring him back down to Earth while hacking up a lung (not literally but it felt like it). He tries his best, he’s a little shaken because of how distraught he would get due to your fragile body, but he does care for you pretty well. If you need anything, he was too scared to leave you so Kyoka would be his go-to (with the promise of tofu afterwards)

(But don’t worry she’s a little worried for you too)

Atsushi knew he could never forget the horrors that he experienced at the orphanage, but you reminded him of the strength he had to not let it hold him back. He was your hero without a doubt, but you were his in the sense of how strong you really are, and how you didn’t know or believe it when he told you. You became an overall positive influence on his life, and helped him see life a little brighter and more meaningful. He loves you more than you could imagine, and he would continue to prove it to you in everything that he does.

[hotdemonsummer]

Obey Me! and Angelology and Demonology

 alternatively titled Lets Get Into Lucifer

This is yet another long, long post about the lore of Obey Me! from the perspective of historical and theological angelology, and demonology or the study of angels and demons respectively, because I think it’s neat. I also talk way too much. I’m scared to check the word count on this.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on anything, and certainly not on religion. I just like comparative theology. Also, spoilers for lesson 43/44.

What is an angel? And what, in turn, is a demon? It depends on who you ask. All religions that have angels have a general consensus that they are spiritual beings, intermediaries of some kind of higher power. Demons, on the other hand, are much more vague beyond general malevolence toward humanity. Any connection between the two is entirely dependent on the culture and religion in question. Some have angels but not demons, and many have vice versa.

There’s generally four kinds of spirits that are considered demons:

Dead people with extremely bad vibes (think mogwai, yuurei, and other revenants)

Neutral-to-malevolent energy, physical form optional (think djinni or yokai)

Cult subjects (including foreign gods and ancestor worship)

Corrupted angels (either fallen or Nephilim)

The word demon comes from the Greek δαίμων, or daimon, but the concept of a demon is much older than the Greeks. The original daimon had none of the malevolent, evil associations that we now think of. Instead, daimon just described a kind of powerful spiritual entity (for example, δαίμων is the term Euripides uses for the new god Dionysus in The Bacchae). What we think of as demons now didn’t exist in Greek culture, and the negative associations came when the Tanakh was translated from Hebrew to Greek, but even then shedim aren’t identical to the contemporary depiction of demons that we see in Obey Me!, which, like everything else in Western society, came about through the domination of Christianity.

Shedim, the precursor to the Christian demon, was more or less a term for false gods, a title for the various Levantine pagan gods (see: origin of Beelzebub, Belphegor, and pretty much every demon that starts with Bel- or Bal-). 

Obey Me! pretty much canonizes Type 2 and Type 4 demons, with characters like Diavolo, Barbatos, and Satan as Type 2 and the other brothers as Type 4. Historically, Beelzebub and Belphegor are Type 3 (Beelzebub and Belphegor being Levantine gods), Mammon being Type 2 (a general personification of Wealth, although Milton did write him as a Type 4 in Paradise Lost) and Asmodeus being somewhere in between Type 2 and 3 (being heavily derived from a Zoroastrian daeva of wrath). Lucifer is, historically, the only consistently Type 4 demon.

I don’t think I have to explain what a fallen angel is to any OM! fan. But I will. 

Let’s talk about these guys. We’re all familiar with Satan’s weird complex about Lucifer, and I’m sure we’re all equally familiar with how Satan and Lucifer are terms used interchangeably for whatever being is The Big Bad of Hell. However, they’re not synonymous.

Satan derives from the same Proto-Semitic root as shayatan, which... should be pretty obvious, but nonetheless has a pretty analogous role as a tempter of men in the Abrahamic religions. Beyond that “tempter of men” title, though, the actual details of what Satan is is incredibly varied, including whether or not “Satan” is a name or a title. In Christianity, the view of Satan as an extremely powerful and evil corrupter of man, wholly opposed to God, came around the Middle Ages, when witchcraft hysteria spread.

Lucifer, on the other hand, is simultaneously a figure originating in Christianity and much, much older than it. The term of course means “light-bringer”, and is heavily associated with the morning star, aka the planet Venus. To make a very long story short, many Mesopotamian, Levantine, and Mediterranean cultures saw the lowering of Venus toward the horizon at night and thought, “hey, thats a pretty neat image!” and created stories about heavenly beings falling toward the earth. Of course, they didn’t use the ‘term’ Lucifer, that’s Latin, and came from the Vulgate Bible.

The term Lucifer does not exclusively refer to The Evil Fallen Angel™ in Christian texts (some very sacred things like the Exsultet explicitly refer to Jesus as Lucifer), but it sure is the most popular interpretation. In works like Paradise Lost or the Divine Comedy, the general idea is that the angel Lucifer rebelled against God in some way and was cast out of Heaven, then becoming Satan, and thus the two are one and the same.

(inb4 some Quora-type chews me out for accuracy’s sake, the “lucifer” mentioned in Isaiah 14:12 refers not to any angel, but to a Babylonian king. The whole fallen angel thing, much like the beatitudes or Bethlehem or Christmas, is a fusion of pagan influences.)

In other words, Lucifer is always and has always been a fallen angel. Satan, on the other hand, doesn’t have those connections to angelhood, and the two figures have an undeniable connection despite their clear individual differences. Sound familiar?

The next question is then what kind of angel is Lucifer anyway? to which you might be thinking, wait, there are different kinds? Yes, holy shit, there are so many kinds of angels and very little consensus on what they are. In terms of Christian angelology (because again, Lucifer is a uniquely Christian/derivative Christian figure unless you exclude Leland’s Aradia which I don’t because lbr they were Italian anyways), most hierarchies are based on the work of this guy:

This man has the incredibly succinct name of Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite, and sometime in the 5th century he wrote a book called De Coelesti Hierarchia. It orders the *WTNV voice* hierarchy of angels into three levels called spheres, and each sphere has three sub-levels called choirs. Many, but not all, of the choirs are adopted from various Jewish angelic hierarchies. If you thought that it was just angels and then archangels were, like, the middle management version of angels then you are very wrong. I’m sorry that television lied.

You know who also lied? Tumblr dot com and any post that implies that the true form of angels is a big wheel with a bunch of eyes. That is, in fact, a descriptor for only one kind of angel: ophanim, or thrones. The depiction of angels runs the gamut from winged humanoids to multi-winged humanoids with multiple animal heads to burning snakes to vague heavenly mist.

Archangels and angels are the eighth and ninth lowest choirs of angels, respectively. Angels, or malakhim, are the default messengers of God and the choir from which guardian angels come from. Generally, if someone claims to have a message from God delivered to them, it will be an angel doing it. If it’s really important, it’ll be an archangel. Everyone else literally has more important things to do. No one’s getting visions from dominions.

Lucifer’s (the theological one) actual designation is kind of a mystery. Depending on the text, Lucifer has been described as a seraph (the highest), a cherub (the second highest), or an archangel (the eighth). According to Thomas Aquinas:

Lucifer, chief of the sinning angels, was probably the highest of all the angels. But there are some who think that Lucifer was highest only among the rebel angels.

Not very helpful, but hey. The question remains: what kind of angel is Lucifer, and this time I mean our Lucifer. 

We know that Michael, just like his namesake, is an archangel. We also know that (SPOILERS) Simeon, unlike his namesake, is an archangel as well (Simeon is a saint, not an angel.) Lucifer likely was at their level, if not higher.

However, Lucifer was also a six-winged angel, a depiction generally reserved for seraphim (and cherubim, but far less frequently).

Moreover, in terms of role, an angellic Lucifer fits well with that of the powers, the sixth choir. Powers are in charge of moving the heavenly bodies, and are depicted as powerful warriors dressed in beautiful armor. It's fitting for a being so closely tied to the morning star to be a power, after all.

So, with all that considered, what is Lucifer? 

Well, he’s a seraph (or saraph, technically). Why? Because Simeon is somehow a seraph and an archangel (I have already written too much to unpack that bullshit), and Mammon was a throne (remember those wheels with eyes?) and Beel was a cherub and therefore Lucifer had to be higher than both of them (interestingly big brother Mammon is in a lower choir than little brother Beel). This makes Michael kind of, well... weird, given the archangels’ low rank.

Some like to differentiate between archangel the eighth choir and Archangel, with a capital A, as a term for any high-ranking angel. While this is likely what Solmare is doing, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that this has zero basis in any religious text whatsoever and is solely done for the convenience of not remembering anything besides angel and archangel. Which is like, fine, but I’m a pedantic jerk who I found claims to the contrary while researching and I felt the need to correct that.

Anyways, the more you know.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Oh great, McGonagall’s back to being a bitch again in this new TLSQ 🙄

Is anyone ready for another rant? Because I've got another rant.

My friend messaged me after this quest came out and simply said "Tell me this quest pissed you off too." I hadn't seen it yet, so I went to watch the footage. Having just finished...oh god.

Going into the quest, I wasn't angry. At first, I was mostly bewildered. Unlike the Torvus TLSQ, this one doesn't really beat you over the head with mean-spirited guilt-tripping. But it does follow the interpretation that MC is to blame for the chaos. And that idea is so ludicrous that I was genuinely laughing. To hear McGonagall say "Be that as it may, your actions have caused this." Was unintentionally hilarious. What actions? MC was a bystander. They were just hanging out with their friends. Badeea is the one who painted the Portrait, and it was painted for Jae. MC didn't do anything. But the rest of this quest will send them on a wild goose chase to appease everyone else.

Here's a question. Why does Badeea all but disappear from the plot when she arguably had the most agency in this problem? Why do Jae and MC get threatened with detention...and not Badeea? She literally painted the offending Portrait. That's not even getting into how silly it is to blame the students for this fiasco in the first place, but as long as you're going to...why hold Jae and MC accountable, but not Badeea? Why does MC have to paint the portrait that will be used to distract Sir Cadogan? Badeea says that it's because her paintings are what started this mess, and she's afraid of causing more trouble. Fair enough, but that doesn't really change the fact that she is the only character who knows how to paint enchanted portraits. She is the only one with any skill in this. That said, I wouldn't change this for the world because the fanged puffskein is adorable. Let me hug him. Let me hug him! He reminds me of my kitty.

The Portraits are to blame for this mess. That much is as clear as day. And yet no one is willing to hold them accountable. No one voices the idea that maybe this is their fault, and that maybe we shouldn't be prioritizing their wishes. This is the Peeves Arc of Year 5 all over again, and people didn't just hate that arc for being filler. Why is the Fat Lady not chastised for leaving her post? Why must we cater to her demands? Why must we go on a scavenger hunt that takes all day, why do we have to play by their rules? Pick up the damn portrait and shake it until the Fat Lady and the others take the hint. Hold the damn thing over a fire if you want to really scare them. (Ruthless? Perhaps, but Gail would do that. She wouldn't actually burn the Portrait but the Fat Lady doesn't know that.) Better yet, McGonagall could solve this pretty easily by invoking teacher authority. Even if that failed, at least she couldn't very well expect two students to solve the problem that she couldn't solve...which uh, why were MC and Jae expected to solve this again?

There are countless Portraits in t his castle. Why did the Fat Lady and others decide out of the blue to leave their posts for Badeea's latest painting? This is far from the first time she's made one. This can't be the first time a painting of the Three Broomsticks has crossed Hogwarts' halls. The Three Broomsticks also isn't that exciting considering that you can paint just about anything. Why is Gryffindor Tower sealed like a Cursed Vault without the Fat Lady? Can't Dumbledore open it with magic? Can't they get another Portrait to stand in? Y'know, like they did in POA when the Fat Lady left her post? There are obvious solutions here, and unlike POA, the Fat Lady isn't exactly fearing for her safety. She's just throwing a tantrum. Couldn't McGonagall dismiss her, or at least threaten to, over something like this? The question that burns in my throat again and again is "Why is this our problem?" The quest tries to create a justification, but mostly it doesn't really care to. The reason we have to help isn't because it's our fault, it's because McGonagall will punish us if we don't.

The Portraits are whiny and entitled in this quest, but that's not even the worst part. Holy uncanny valley, Batman, what in god's name was up with that art style? Violet and the Fat Lady look genuinely disturbing, like they came out of a horror game. And you have to spend extended periods of time talking to them. I won't lie, I got uncomfortable. At least it was a distraction from the madness that was this plot. Once it got to the part where MC had to recite a poem to "Percival the Prat" I just kind of put my tea down and had a moment of reflection on how far this quest had taken us, and all of the stupid nonsense that MC was doing to appease these portraits. And all because they were threatened with detention if they didn't sort all this out, even though it wasn't their problem...deep sigh. There's a theme in this quest about listening to your friends and respecting their wishes...but this is not realized well at all. MC tried to do a nice thing for Jae and had no way of knowing it would all collapse. This situation did not arise because they failed to specifically ask Jae if he wanted their help. (He kind of hinted that he did, in the first place.)

Jae. Oh Jae. You were pretty whiny in this quest, yourself. Moping about at the start and then blaming everything on the person who checked in on you. Look, on one hand, I felt genuinely bad for him. McGonagall threatening him with detention on his damn birthday when he's always in detention and specifically opened up about how this was the one day of the year that he didn't want to be stuck there...and what he do, exactly? Not what did he do that was wrong, what did he do, at all? He was given a present. He didn't ask for it. He was simply given a present, that happened to go extremely wrong. McGonagall, what on earth are you playing at? Jae literally did not do anything, and he's a Gryffindor, so he's just as screwed by the Fat Lady's desertion as the others. I know I sound like a broken record at this point, but wouldn't it have made far more sense for the teacher in this quest to be Snape? Might have taken a bit of tweaking, but it would have been worth it. Speaking of, they had the nerve to reference not only the Dragon Club quest, but the Torvus quest. Trying my patience, game...

But even though I felt bad for Jae at first, my sympathy evaporated when he was passive aggressive, and later directly aggressive toward MC. As if any of this was their fault. Okay, so they had the idea to try and help Jae on his birthday. So? What does that have to do with the Fat Lady abandoning her post, or the other Portraits refusing to play ball? What does that have to do with the obscenely unreasonable terms that McGonagall issued? She didn't just stick this task on Jae's shoulders, MC was roped in as well. They're in this boat together and Jae blaming MC, even in the low-energy way he goes about it...just rubbed me the wrong way. I know this day was important to him...and maybe my personal opinions are shining through, but...it's only a birthday. You can celebrate your traditions tomorrow, or the next day, just as easily.

Wasn't a fan of the ending either. I couldn't believe my eyes when McGonagall asked MC to describe "what they had learned" and that she would listen, and then "decide their fate." I beg your pardon but what?! That was not the deal we made. At all. By this point MC has been running about the castle, working their ass off, just to fix this problem that has nothing to do with them. They did everything McGonagall demanded of them. They actually succeeded at this fool's task. After all of that, McGonagall is still considering detention? I could ramble about how unreasonable that is, but I think that's pretty obvious. So instead I'll just ask...aren't Gryffindors supposed to be honorable? Isn't McGonagall the Head of Gryffindor? She's still claiming the moral high-ground as she breaks her word?

Beyond that, I hate this. I hate being told to kneel and kiss the ring. Might be taking this a bit too seriously, but it's the same nonsense as the Torvus TLSQ. The same final insult, where MC is forced to write up an essay about what they learned, about why they were in the wrong, and the asshole who started all this was in the right. Not only did MC have to put up with this endless nonsense, they have to show that they "learned their lesson" and agree that what they went through was right. Or it's off to detention with them. This is why I couldn't enjoy the final party. I wasn't invested in Jae's happiness, or in saving his birthday traditions. I didn't care. I don't even imagine Luca going, I think they'd just wish Jae happy birthday and head back to their dormitory.

Y'know, I'm not sure what they're trying to do with McGonagall. I've always said that Luca's character involves them eventually growing to distrust and dislike the Hogwarts staff, minus Flitwick. And I've always struggled to justify including McGonagall in that group. Because if you've the read the books, you know she's fucking awesome. But as of recent quests...I don't think it's going to be hard for me to justify it anymore. HPHM has given me plenty of ammo, plenty of reason for Luca to dislike her. After this, and the Dragon Club quest...The Teacher Appreciation TLSQ feels pretty sour.

[thexfridax]

Translated interview with Adèle Haenel, heroine of “Portrait of a Lady on Fire”

Performing in order to richly live the now

Tomoko Ogawa, in: Ginza Mag, 3rd of December 2020 Translation by Rose @rosedelosvientos​ 🙏🏾

Set in 18th-century France, the daughter of an aristocrat who refuses marriage and a female painter who makes her portrait  - two people of different social status - meet and fall in an unforgettable love that will last for a lifetime.

In the film “Portrait of a Lady on Fire”, Héloïse, an aristocrat, is played by Adèle Haenel, who, as an actress, always thinks, acts and decides constantly for herself. Late last year, she filed a complaint against the director for sexual abuse during/after her first film debut 18 years ago. At the César Awards, she protested and walked out after Polanski won Best Director, which shook the world of French cinema and is also still fresh from memory.

This film is also the work of Céline Sciamma, the director of Water Lilies, in which Adèle Haenel also appeared. Adèle recounts her thoughts about her current film, and director Sciamma’s “Female Gaze”, who, for many years was also her partner in her private life.

Q: Last year, “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” opened and was screened in Europe, and won Best Screenplay at the 72nd Cannes Film Festival. A year and a half has passed since then. Do you feel the magnitude of this work’s influence on women empowerment?

A: If put this way, people might think that it may be too subjective, but I think that not only this film, but Céline Sciamma’s works have constantly played a role in empowering women. But, it was understood that, surely, there’s also a way - that it’s possible to show the worldview of equal love between women from a different perspective, in a history where there are a lot of films that contained an element of women being controlled unilaterally from men’s point of view.

Q: Not dominance, but the joy of collaborating and creating something with someone, and the love that continues to grow is depicted in this film. What do you think sets it apart from many other films that have depicted love until now?

A: Until now, love has been depicted in ways such as controlling the other person, and in a sensual manner, but in this film, the nature of love is kinda different, I guess. The two women who happen to be in that place - while interacting extemporaneously using language that is characteristic of themselves and figuring each other out - are building up their relationship. While it’s fictional without altering historical facts, it’s a proposal that’s entirely different from what love looks like until now. I think that it’s a film that brings with it a new perspective.

Q: It’s not a one-sided view from the painter’s perspective where the person whose portrait is being painted is the “muse”, but rather of both sides looking at each other, and the connection of being seen is depicted. I think that you’ve also been called a “muse” up to this point, but during those times, do you remember how you felt then?

A: The word “muse” is used against actresses as a stereotype, and there were people who did say that to me that but, even if I were called a “muse”, I’ve come to be aware of not taking that position that’s being asked. That’s because even if it’s the director who’s directing, ultimately it’s up to the actors how they perform something while working together with different actors. So, you’re supposed to actively consider how you build up the character relationships artistically, politically, all aspects. In the first place, it’s not acceptable that in most films it’s the men looking, and the women being looked at, so even for things that aren’t visible on the surface, I constantly think and make decisions for myself.

Q: Tell us about the charm of Céline Sciamma as a director.  

A: She has a very clear perspective, doesn’t she? She’s a person who can raise all sorts of questions and kinda make you rethink various ideas, not about how reality is, simply, but beyond those ideas that are based on the reality that there is. She’s also a visionary, and she understands the wonder of fiction, and has philosophical ideas.

Q: In this film, you were also able to apply the relationship of trust that you’ve built with your partner, at the time, through the course of many years.

A: That’s right. I’ve been friends with her for as long as 15 years, and of course she was also my partner, and that’s because I’ve been collaborating artistically for many years. This time,  in the script, too, the character of Héloïse was written with me in mind. So since we’ve already built that trust with each other, there was no need to talk about every little thing, like, “I’m thinking of doing it this way”.

Q: This film has a mostly female staff, such as director Céline Sciamma, cinematographer Claire Mathon, Hélène Delmaire, the female artist who carried out the painting on-screen, etc. What do you think about its significance?

A: From the very start, this film’s intent  - especially since the relationship between women hasn’t really been presented as something very important - is to focus the spotlight on women across history who weren’t written about. This time, an axis (focal point) has been put together by the film crew for the women who properly understand that importance, so there’s a part  where the production did really well, I think.

Q: Through this film, is there anything that you discovered about yourself?

A: I don’t think in a way like, that there was a discovery or change just because of the role that I played. Basically, I’m the type of person who keeps moving and doesn’t stand still, who constantly asks and answers my own questions, and raises issues. Whichever work it is, I perceive them in one of those processes.

Q: I see. In the midst of constant movement, what is your primary motivation as an actor?

A: Meeting with people with whom I can collaborate with is a big one. Whenever I work with new people, I’m made to realize that there’s also such a different way of depicting (t/n: lit. “drawing”) the world. That there is a way to richly live the now, that is in film and art in general. That also motivates me.

Q: With all this motivation that’s hitherto been given to you by the director, do you think that it’s because you both share a common perspective?

A: Since I take the responsibility myself when I perform, there’s no such thing as being influenced by the director. I’m a person who doesn’t really care (t/n: I’ve a feeling ‘give a shit’ is what she really wanted to say here) about hierarchy, and the people whom I can really respect are those persuasive people who have a clear perspective, and, within the silence, can properly show what they want to talk about. Directors who give hints to the actors on how they can arrive at the reality that they’re thinking they want to depict more. I’m thinking that actors don’t express form, rather, their role is to explore the expounding of their own vocabulary. So a person who has a clear vision of what they want, and what they want to draw is amazing, in my opinion.  

Q: Finally, all the handmade dresses have an impression that they’re being fastened thickly and heavily, but how do you think the costumes influence your acting?

A: When I wear the costumes, I feel like a pilot in the Star Wars series (laughs), so as we handle the costumes that we’re given, I really think about how I’m going to move while in it, you know? The one we had was a basic dress, but at first there was a feeling of nervousness, a tense kind of stiffness. But as the story went on, I try to be aware that the movements of the dress will become a bit softer along with my facial expressions. Even if it’s the same costume, I performed while feeling that change of heart.

“Portrait of a Lady on Fire” Original Title:  Portrait de la jeune fille en feu Director: Céline Sciamma Cast: Noémie Merlant, Adèle Haenel, Luana Bajrami, Valeria Golino Music: Jean-Baptiste de Laubier Distribution: GAGA 2019/France/122 mins./Colour/Vista/5.1 Digital Channel Dec. 4, 2020, TOHO Cinema Chanter, Bunkamura Le Cinéma Nationwide Screening © Lilies Films https://gaga.ne.jp/portrait/

Profile Adèle Haenel Born in January 1, 1989 in Paris, France. Attended theater classes at 13 years old. In 2002, debuted as the heroine Chloe in Les Diables. In 2007, her name became more well-known after being nominated for Most Promising Actress at the César Awards. Furthermore, she was also nominated for her role in House of Tolerance (2011), and for Suzanne (2013), achieved Best Supporting Actress, and won Best Actress for Love at First Sight (2014) – becoming one of the actresses representing the world of French cinema both in name and substance. Her major appearances also include The Unknown Girl (2016) and Bloom of Yesterday (2016), among others.

***

Translated excerpt from ’“Portrait of a Lady on Fire” - Approaching the True Face* of Adèle Haenel’

Atsuko Tatsuta, in: Madame Figaro Japan, 4th of December 2020 Translation by Rose @rosedelosvientos 💜

(*t/n: may also mean the 'true nature’ of AH. Literally it means bare face with no make-up.)

“A woman who has an adventurous spirit, while living under constraints.”

Interviewer: Marianne and Héloïse are depicted as contrasting characters, aren’t they? From the outset, when the canvas falls from the boat, Marianne jumps into the ocean in order to retrieve it. Héloïse, which you performed, has never gone into the sea despite living in the island. How did you interpret the contrast between this free and conservative way of living?

Adèle Haenel: Marianne and Héloïse were indeed depicted contrastingly. Not just marriage, but Héloïse is a person who’s lived within various restrictions. But, as the story progresses,  you’ll understand that actually she’s a character who is highly curious, and also has an adventurous spirit. People tend to think that she’s dull and lacks vigour, but it’s soon understood that up to this point, in reality, her actions are coming from a place of being shackled. Playing the transformation of such a character was very interesting.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Wrestling with the Bible’s most disturbing stories

An excerpt from Rachel Held Evan’s book Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again

“Growing up, I noticed the ugly details in the Sunday school stories; children always do. I remember I was deeply troubled by the fact that God drowned all but two of each kind of animal in the Great Flood (to say nothing of all the people), and wondered aloud at the dinner table how God could be all-knowing and all-powerful, but also filled with regret. A friend's seven-year-old captured the angst well when she recently asked, 'Mom, is God the good guy or the bad guy in this story?'

This question of God's character haunted every scene and every act and every drama of the Bible. ...Feminist scholar Phyllis Trible aptly named these narratives 'texts of terror.'

'If art imitates life,' she wrote, 'scripture likewise reflects it in both holiness and horror.'

Rereading the texts of terror as a young woman, I kept anticipating some sort of postscript or epilogue chastising the major players for their sins, a sort of Arrested Development-style 'lesson' to wrap it all up -- 'And that's why you should always challenge the patriarchy!' But no such epilogue exists. While women are raped, killed, and divided as plunder, God stands by, mute as clay. I waited for a word from God, but none came.

...When I turned to pastors and professors for help, they urged me to set aside my objections, to simply trust that God is good and that the Bible's war stories happened as told, for reasons beyond my comprehension. 

'God's ways are higher than our ways,' they insisted. 'Stop trying to know the mind of God.'

It's an understandable approach. Human beings are finite and fallible, prone to self-delusion and sentimentality. If we rely exclusively on our feelings to guide us to truth, we are bound to get lost.

When asked in 2010 about Joshua's conquest of Canaan, Reformed pastor and theologian John Piper declared, without hesitation, 'It's right for God to slaughter women and children anytime he pleases. God gives life and he takes life. Everybody who dies, dies because God wills that they die.'

Piper's dispassionate acceptance represented pure, committed faith, I was told, while mine had been infected by humanism and emotion -- 'a good example of why women should be kept from church leadership,' one acquaintance said.

And for a moment, I believed it. For a moment, I felt silly for responding so emotionally to a bunch of old war stories that left the rest of the faithful seemingly unfazed. 

But this is the deleterious snare of fundamentalism: It claims that the heart is so corrupted by sin, it simply cannot be trusted to sort right from wrong, good from evil, divine from depraved. Instinct, intuition, conscience, critical thinking -- these impulses must be set aside whenever they appear to contradict the biblical text, because the good Christian never questions the 'clear teachings of Scripture'; the good Christian listens to God, not her gut.

I've watched people get so entangled in this snare they contort into shapes unrecognizable. When you can't trust your own God-given conscience to tell you what's right, or your own God-given conscience to tell you what's true, you lose the capacity to engage the world in any meaningful, authentic way, and you become an easy target for authoritarian movements eager to exploit that vacuity for their gain. I tried reading Scripture with my conscience and curiosity suspended, and I felt, quite literally, disintegrated. I felt fractured and fake.

Brené Brown warned us we can't selectively numb our emotions, and no doubt this applies to the emotions we have about our faith. If the slaughter of Canaanite children elicits only a shrug, then why not the slaughter of Pequots? Of Syrians? Of Jews? If we train ourselves not to ask hard questions about the Bible, and to emotionally distance ourselves from any potential conflicts or doubts, then where will we find the courage to challenge interpretations that justify injustice? How will we know when we've got it wrong?

'Belief in a cruel god makes a cruel man,' Thomas Paine said. If the Bible teaches that God is love, and love can look like genocide and violence and rape, then love can look like...anything. It's as much an invitation to moral relativism as you'll find anywhere.

I figured if God was real, then God didn't want the empty devotion of some shadow version of Rachel, but rather my whole, integrated self. So I decided to face the Bible's war stories head-on, mind and heart fully engaged, willing to risk the loss of faith if that's where the search led. 

I listened to sermons. I read commentaries and theology books. I became a real downer at dinner parties:

'If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?' 'Have you seen any of the Oscar-nominated films this year?' 'What's your Enneagram number?' 'Do you think God condones genocide?'

The explanations came hurried and certain. Oh, God told Israel to wipe out the Canaanites because the Canaanites were super-duper evil, like the worst people ever. They worshipped idols and had orgies and sacrificed children to their gods. So God condemned the practice of child sacrifice...by slaughtering children? Well, that's just how things were back then. It was kill or be killed, tribal warfare and all that. Israel did what it had to do to survive....

I began to feel a bit like the disheveled Berenger, a character from Eugène Ionesco's play Rhinoceros, who grows increasingly bewildered as the people of his provincial French town acclimate to the sudden presence of rhinoceroses in their community. In one scene, a rhinoceros thunders through the town square, trampling a housecat. After their initial shock, the villagers get sidetracked debating whether the rhino had one horn or two, and whether its origins are Asiatic or African. And on it goes throughout the play, as the townspeople themselves transform into rhinos, one by one, arguing all the while over pointless trivialities, until only Berenger remains human.

The play is about fascism, I think, but it reminds me a bit of Christians and their Bibles. Sometimes it seems as if there are all these rhinoceroses barreling through the pages of Scripture, pooping on sidewalks and flattening housecats, but we've grown so accustomed to defending their presence we end up debating the length of their tails.

...

My questions came with consequences. We left the church in which I was raised, and rumors of my 'rebellious spirit' circulated around town, prompting more than a few well-meaning interventions. ...

But accepting the Bible's war stories without objection threatened to erase my humanity. ‘We don’t become more spiritual by becoming less human,’ Eugene Peterson said. How could I love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength while disengaging those very faculties every time I read the Bible?

So I brought my whole self into the wilderness with God – no faking, no halfway. And there we wrestled."

[punkpoemprose]

December 13th- A Convenient Arrangement Part 5

Universe: Canonverse Arranged Marriage AU Rating:T Length: 4046 Words A/N: Anna meets the trolls! I continue to try to catch up! Lets see which one of these two things goes better, shall we? A bit of a slow chapter all in all. More fun stuff coming in parts 6 & 7!

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

They walked through the quickly darkening wood and Anna felt her heart racing in her chest as the dark part of her thoughts, the part of her that could never believe that anything good could ever happen to her, was screaming.

Don’t trust him. You’re going to die out here. He’ll call it an accident. It’ll be just like Hans.

She hadn’t been so scared at first, in fact she’d been enjoying the walk. There was plenty on the path to keep her eye occupied in the warm afternoon light. Little flowers, and mushrooms were bright and friendly, their petals and caps gleaming when she glanced down at them. The gentle rustling of leaves on the trees and the call of overhead birds had seemed so lively and comforting when everything was bright and warm.

When the sun sank low over the horizon, the shadows grew longer, and the air began to grow cool. The breezes were not icy, just cool in the way that the air sometimes became on summer nights, particularly away from the temperate influence of air coming off the fjord. The rustling of leaves seemed less lively then, and more ominous. The calls of birds seemed less friendly and more predatory, and some part of her brain that had been listening in her science lessons reminded her that mushrooms were associated with death and decay.

Kristoff’s hand felt less reassuring.

Run.

He squeezed her palm.

“Almost there,” he said.

She couldn’t help the shiver that ran through her.

Run before it’s too late you stupid girl.

“I did my best to explain the circumstances of our wedding,” he said, his voice low as he again broke the silence between them, “They’re kind of… hardheaded though. So, if they say anything rude or if they ask anything that makes you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. I’ll stay right with you, you can squeeze my hand if you’re upset and I’ll figure out how to change the subject or something. They’re very excited to meet you.”

She wasn’t sure what it was that calmed her really. Maybe it was the gentleness of his apologetic tone? Or perhaps it was the fact that he was making plans to ensure her comfort. Surely it wasn’t something he’d invent if he had any intentions of hurting her.

He would never hurt you.

The much more charitable voice was attempting to wrest control from the negative one, and Anna tried to focus on something positive as she tried to level out her breathing and walk one step at a time forward. She decided to focus on Kristoff, as he was surely the most friendly looking part of their current surroundings.

He hadn’t shaved today. She noticed the very light shade of stubble on his cheeks and along his jaw. She hadn’t noticed on their wedding day that he could even grow facial hair. He’d looked so much more boyish to her then, probably because he was just as nervous as she’d been.

His hand was warm and grounding in her own. She gave his hand a little squeeze, and was surprised when he looked over at her with concern in his brown eyes. He squeezed back gently, and she realized that he had just got finished saying that she could squeeze his hand if she was upset. She gave him an apologetic look at then she saw the concern fade, replaced with a soft smile on his lips and a small spark of something in his eye.

She felt warm under his attention.

Safe.

“Do you think they’ll like me?” she asked quietly, the first thing she’d said since the start of the walk.

He smiled then, a broad and amused grin. He looked at her for a moment as if she’d said something very funny and pulled her, just a bit, closer to his side.

“I think they already do.”

***

When they broke into the clearing of the Valley of the Living Rock, Kristoff felt a nervousness in his stomach. It was a fluttering thing, making him wonder if he was going to be ill. It made him feel hollow, like his heartbeat was bouncing and echoing through him, amplifying his anxieties.

He almost wondered if Anna could sense his nervousness, but she seemed unaffected by it. Her mood had been, just a few short minutes before, apprehensive at best. He chocked it up to nerves, but now he thought that there might have been more to it. When he’d glanced at her she’d seemed outright scared, but then after they talked, she’d calmed significantly.

He could already read his wife quite well. Her moods read to him a bit like a popup book did to a child. This meaning that he could get the main idea rather quickly, but interpreting it further was a struggle. That he’d managed to respond to her properly was surely dumb luck, but he was glad for it. She seemed at least somewhat comfortable standing at his side before the open field of mossy stones.

“Is your family meeting us here, or?”

He took a deep breath, letting it fill his lungs and make his gut feel a little less like a hollow receptacle for fears and concerns. Explaining his family to her was something he’d thought about, but mostly in a theoretical sense, and not particularly deeply. He hadn’t formulated a plan on his way to his cabin, nor had he found a particularly good way to broach the subject on his way back to the valley with her.

You’re going to sound like a crazy person.

He gestured at the stones, a bit broadly as the sky continued to darken. Day had turned to afternoon and it too had turned to evening at a rapid pace. Despite the significant time spend in the sled together as they rode up to his cabin, he felt like he hadn’t had enough time with her at all, not enough time to explain, not enough time to know how she’d react.

“They’re already here.”

He watched as she glanced around the space, as if she’d simply just missed someone standing before her. He saw her eyes scanning the stones, grazing over them like she couldn’t possibly imagine anyone there, and he wished that he had the words to prepare her. He couldn’t find them, or anything even close.

So he stepped forward into the space and reached down to touch the nearest stone.

“The sun’s almost set,” he said, “You can wake up now. I brought her.”

He could sense the confusion from Anna behind him. He could practically feel her eyes on him as he walked through the valley and touched more stones, gently waking his family.

She thinks you’re crazy person.

“Kristoff?”

Her voice sounded strange from behind him, a mixture of fear and concern that made his heart pound. He wasn’t sure if she’d understand, if he could make her understand, that his family was not exactly human. With the confirmation that her sister, the Queen of Arendelle, had abilities beyond the realm of conventional belief, he had to hope that she would keep an open mind.

“Kristoff,” she repeated, “Are you… are you alright? I…”

The rocks began to shift around his feet, rolling towards him.

Anna stopped speaking and instead shrieked. He turned quickly to see her backing up with stuttering steps, her hands out before her, with terror in her eyes.

“It’s okay, Anna. Don’t be scared, they’re just…”

“Trolls.”

***

Anna felt as though her eyes were about to pop out of her head, that her heart was about to give out. Kristoff had told her that he was going to bring her to meet his family, but instead she’d watched him address a field of mossy stones that were now rapidly rolling his way.

She thought for a moment that there may have been some kind of natural disaster happening, a landslide, or an earthquake, or something explainable. She tried to make it work in her head as she backed away from the space on shaking feet, but to no avail.

A landslide on flat land. An earthquake that only moves stones and doesn’t shake the ground. Logical Anna. Very logical.

Kristoff turned to her and seemed to register her panic. She could see the fear in his eyes in return, but it was a strange look. It wasn’t the sort of panic she would expect to see on the face of someone about to be crushed by oncoming moving stones, but instead it seemed to be directed at her.

It reminded her of the hurt she’d seen in his eyes on their wedding night. When she’d insulted him by accident when she’d thought he’d insist on bedding her. It confused her, and as she continued to try to move away, her eyes pleading with him to do the same, she heard him speak.

He was telling her not to be afraid.

He’s crazy. He’s literally insane. I have been married off to some kind of half mad forest hermit and he’s only held it together until this moment.

There was a scraping sound that joined with the dull thudding of the rolling stones. She tried to make sense of the noise, to understand what was making it, but it was unlike anything she’d ever heard before. She thought it might just be the stones bumping together, but then she realized that none of the small boulders were colliding, but rather were moving in unnaturally straight paths toward Kristoff, like they were seeking him out.

She saw it then, the source of the scraping sound.

They’re unrolling. They’re alive.

She felt her jaw drop, her stumbling feet almost tripping beneath her as she took in the change occurring before her. The stones weren’t really stones at all, but were instead small humanoid creatures made of grey stone. They varied a bit in appearance, some large and some small, all with round noses and black eyes. She noticed that they were dressed in clothes of moss and grass, and that some, around their rocky necks, wore crystals.

Like the ones in his chest.

“Trolls,” she said, the word falling from her lips as soon as the connection was made. “They’re trolls.”

She remembered childhood stories, being held in her mother’s arms on her bed as she or her father told her tales. There was one about an enchanted forest, one about the spirits of nature, one about the creation of the kingdom, and several about creatures who were said to live in the mountains and forests of Arendelle. The topic of several stories she’d enjoyed in particular was trolls.

She recalled him reaching out for her hair before the impromptu hike they’d just taken. She remember his questioning her about how she’d gotten it, and the amused and pleased look he’d offered her when she’d told him the childish explanation she’d formed as a child.

I dreamt I was kissed by a troll.

She supposed that she had been now. Even if only an adopted one.

Kristoff looked straight at her, the concerned look on his face, the nervous upturn of his lips, the furrowing of his brows, still evident despite the space they’d put between them.

“They are.”

Oh.

She was half expecting him to shake his head and let her know that she was seeing things. She almost wanted to hear that she was losing her mind from stress and lack of sleep, but no. He was standing with his family, looking at her with an almost pleading expression, as if he needed her to understand.

And she did.

If my sister can freeze half the kingdom because she panics, I can’t exactly find it odd that his family is a valley full of rock trolls.

“I…” she didn’t know what to say.

She took a deep breath, focusing on letting her lungs fill with air after the panicked shouting she’d done. She let her eyes linger on Kristoff’s face, and the softness that was there. She thought about how he made her feel, even though their relationship was new, and felt her muscles relax as she calmed. Once she was breathing with relative ease and she managed to wrap her head around the basic concept that she was addressing her husband and his family, she was able to let years of “princess training” take over. She’d never been perfect at being properly royal, something she chocked up to not ever being able to practice what was preached to her, but she hoped that her manners would be good enough for a valley of stone people.

“Hello. It’s a pleasure to meet you all.”

She addressed the crowd, but kept her eyes on Kristoff as she spoke, anchoring herself on him. This was his family, and now, through marriage, hers as well.

***

Kristoff watched as the valley around him descended into chaos.

Somewhere off to his side one of his aunts broke the silence after Anna spoke, and did so in a much less delicate and proper manner than his wife had managed.

“Kristoff brought a girl!”

The convergence on Anna after her shout was inevitable, and he couldn’t help but curse himself for walking so far away from her. There was a momentary panic in his wife’s face as his family ran and rolled towards her but when he gave her a concerned and apologetic glance, he found that she simply smiled and furrowed her brows in return, her shoulders shrugging as if she were trying to communicate “I’m okay” over the distance, but still offer her trepidation at the same time.

He walked through the crush of small stone bodies before someone could steal her away. There were questions being shouted to both of them, but there was little he could make out as the voices intermingled into a cacophony of hoots and hollers and conversation. Evidently his parents and grandfather had not had the time to inform the rest of the family before his arrival with Anna.

“Guys, please,” he said, loud enough that he hoped he could be heard, but not so loud that he might frighten Anna with his shouting, “We’ll explain soon, just… where’s Pabbie?”

He managed to catch Anna’s hand as he approached, and carefully pulled her towards him, his family moving out of the way as they moved to occupy a closer space.

Trying his best to be comforting he squeezed Anna’s hand in his own, but instead of her usual squeeze back, he found her moving closer into his space, shifting so that their arms crossed behind them and so that her back was against his chest. She dropped his hand and then leaned into him.

It was instinct when he took the hand that had been in hers and draped it around her waist protectively.

She made a soft sound when he did so, and while he still wasn’t totally sure of her cues and what anything she did really meant beyond his initial instinct and assumption, he thought that she might be comforted. He pulled her a little closer and she leaned into him further. He thought that he might feel some tension leaving her at the contact.

Wishful thinking.

He was about to ask about Pabbie again when the crowd of the family parted abruptly, and a familiar stone came rolling their way. He pressed his arm into Anna’s waist gently, doing his best to be reassuring as the crowd returned to silence. He could feel her tensing again, and he wished more than anything that he would have waited to bring her to meet his family.

If he’d just managed to spend a week with her, to learn more about her, he may have known how to comfort her better. He might have known the right words to say so that this wouldn’t all come to her as a shock, but he hadn’t. He’d brought her to meet his family after marrying her as a complete stranger. He’d frightened her more in the last few days than he would have liked.

If she makes it through this and doesn’t hate me, we’ll be alright.

At least, I hope.

“Pabbie,” he addressed the old troll as he unrolled himself before them.

His parents then shifted out of the edges of the assemblage and made their way to Pabbie’s side, standing in the small clearing with him and Anna. They were a small bubble of his immediate family in a sea of the extended members of the troll clan he’d been adopted into, and while he couldn’t say that he thought Anna was particularly relaxed by this, he did think that the space allowed her to again release some of the tension in her body.

“Mom. Dad,” he added as they entered the space.

He wished that he could see Anna’s face. He was reading her based on body language alone, and he wasn’t particularly proficient at it.

His mother and father were smiling though, and he had to hope that Anna found it as comforting as he did.

***

Kristoff was at her back and Anna was trying to focus on her breathing as the chaos of the stone creatures swirled around her. She took comfort in the fact that those who had entered her space had backed off a bit. She knew, instinctually, and from the stories her parents had told her as a child that the trolls were not going to hurt her, but she was still overwhelmed by them.

Kristoff wouldn’t take you anywhere where someone would hurt you. This is his family. They’re excited to see you.

The positive part of her thoughts was back and with a vengeance. She thought it might have something to do with the intimacy of Kristoff’s arm being wrapped around her waist, the way his chest being at her back made he feel surrounded and protected in a way she’d never experienced before. She realized after a short time that the deep calming breaths she was taking were mirroring the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

She closed her eyes for a moment and felt her face flush as she thought about breathing with him, but she wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe it was the mental image of facing him while doing so, lips barely an inch apart.

She tried to push it out of her mind.

When she began to focus on what was happening around her again she noted three trolls before her. If she’d heard and understood Kristoff correctly, she was fairly certain that they were his adopted parents and grandfather. She supposed it made sense given the wide berth the rest of the crowd was giving them while the three trolls closest to her were not seemingly bothered by their proximity to her and Kristoff. They all seemed to have smiles on their faces, and Anna allowed herself to think of them as happy to see her.

“You’re beautiful,” the troll with glowing pink crystals and white puffy flowers in her hair said in a warm tone.

His mother.

She managed to slip back into Princess mode, and thought that maybe if she thought of her marriage to Kristoff as political, and this meeting with his family as diplomatic might help. It wasn’t incorrect by any stretch of the imagination. Even in her father’s stories Arendelle was aligned with the trolls and had treaties with them.

Her marriage to Kristoff had been political. She’d just never realized how much, and she doubted that it was at all intentional.

“Thank you,” she managed, “That’s very kind to say, given you’re lovely yourself.”

She thought that maybe her tone made it sound like she was laying it on thick, but she actually meant it. There was a softness to the stone woman’s features and a brightness to her eye that Anna read as a unique sort of beauty. The pitted stone of her nose reminded Anna a bit of her own freckles, and she’d always liked them, so also liked the feature on the troll woman.

“Oh Kris,” the troll said, stepping forward into their space a bit more and grinning up at him, “I like her already.”

Anna felt his laugh as she heard it. More tension leached from her muscles as he gently shifted his hand up her side a bit until it was resting on her ribs. His laughter was soothing to her, and she already knew that she would enjoy making him laugh when she could manage it.

“I do too Ma,” he said, his voice low, as if it were just for her ears.

Anna’s heart fluttered at the admission, the words so close to her ear that she took it to be something that he wanted her to hear.

He likes me.

It was a silly thing to be excited about, but she supposed that every positive thing they could manage to find about their situation was something worth celebrating.

I like him too.

Pabbie, the older troll that seemed to command the respect of all others, cleared his throat.

Anna felt her eyes drawn to him and his wizened features. He had bags under his eyes, and a larger nose than the rest. She supposed the signs of aging were much the same in all humanoid creatures, though she couldn’t say for sure as her current count of humanoids only included trolls and humans.

He had expressive thick mossy brows, and his eyes appeared kind as they settled upon her face.

She did her best to hold his gaze and keep her breathing level. She wasn’t sure if she was comfortable with so many eyes on her, even though it was practically in the description of being a crown princess to be stared at. She hadn’t experienced it very much in her life before the last couple weeks.

“Welcome to our family,” the old troll announced loudly, setting the tone for the whole family, though it didn’t seem much different to Anna than the tone they’d set running towards her.

She realized it now that she was feeling safe and protected under Kristoff’s hold, that they were only excited about meeting her and that they’d only meant to greet her. It had been so overwhelming in the moment that she’d struggled to think anything about it, but now she could see that the valley was full of “people” who were just excited to see her. “People” who had raised her husband despite being a totally different species.

“We have much to discuss,” the old troll added, much more quietly.

He stretched out a hand to her, and Anna couldn’t help but disentangle herself from Kristoff’s arm to take his hand before she took the one offered by the old troll as well.

She wasn’t entirely sure what they had to talk about, but she suddenly felt excited about the prospect to discuss anything with the three trolls before her.

They know Kristoff better than anyone. They love him.

She hoped that maybe learning more from them, hearing their thoughts and stories might help her love him too.

There was a quiet part of her that thought that she didn’t need the help.

She squeezed Kristoff’s hand and felt him return the gesture comfortingly.

I’m already falling for him.

She thought that it was a bad idea perhaps, to let herself move from thinking about like to love, but she couldn’t help it. Her heart had always been open, and she couldn’t let what had happened to her close it.

You can’t fall in love with someone you just met.

She thought again about the irony of their situation. She’d managed to cause this whole mess by breaking the cardinal rule that you’re not supposed to marry someone you just met, and then the solution to fix the aftermath had been to do just that. So some rules, she supposed were meant to be broken for the right person. Or at least for politics.

She liked to think that maybe it really was for the right person though as she followed the old troll and felt Kristoff keep pace with her as they went.

I’m falling in love with my husband.

[seyaryminamoto]

At last I'm caught up to the new chapter. But I want you to confirm or refute an idea I have. Did the swamp play the bloodlust spear? What I'm asking is did it manipulate rhone and the spear to stumble blindly to their destruction? It did not warn rhone of his failure but It gave sokka a warning of their enemies and what danger to avoid to max out their odds of victory. If I am right, could it mean the swamp has a grudge against the spear? Did the spear commit genocide in the swamp long ago?

Hmm, well...

To be honest, I think with spiritual stuff I'm taking a more "spirits are ambivalent to human confllict and have their own concerns" approach than canon ended up taking in LOK. I always felt that was what ATLA's spirits were like, and in a way, that's how I've tried to incorporate things pertaining the Spirit World in Gladiator.

Hence... I didn't really build up the situation with the spear as some sort of vendetta from the swamp against the spear. It's 100% possible to headcanon it that way, just so you know xD but if you really want to know what my mind's process was with this situation, that's not really what my personal take on the matter was, when I first cooked up this concept.

Basically... it will be explored a bit further in future arcs, but my take on the swamp is that the swamp is pretty much unpredictable. It can show you your greatest heights (as it did for Aonu), it can show you something crucial for your future (as it did for Toph and Kori Morishita), it can show you something crucial but horrific for your future too (as it did with Sokka), it can show you your past (as it did with Haru, Iroh and Sneers, among others), and it can even show you impossibilities (such as what Azula and Ursa saw). It's impossible to know what you're going to get because it's a force completely beyond human understanding or control. I've described the swamp in some chapters I've only finished writing as a highly charged spiritual location that serves as an enhancement of spiritual bonds and connections.

Therefore, Rhone and the Spear connected through the swamp because the swamp, intentionally or not, bridged two spiritual energies that were pretty much a perfect fit. Hypothetically, the swamp also can do this for less catastrophic bonds, but in this case, it worked for the absolute detriment of human kind. That Sokka glimpsed their team-up in his own dreams was very fortunate to a fault, since indeed, he had some warning as to what was going on... but the connection in the swamp could have warned him of sooooo many other things (both pertaining this very catastrophe as well as others) and it didn't xD What I'm trying to say here is... what Sokka saw in his dream was as unpredictable as what everyone else in the Race saw in theirs. It could have been Azula seeing Rhone near-killing her, seeing as she's the one who had the near-death experience this time, while Sokka saw something else entirely, perhaps something pertaining events from Part 3... but Azula, much like Rhone and the Spear, had a certain connection to someone who was nearby (Ursa :'D) and that basically trumped every other possible spiritual connection her soul could have made at that time.

In any case... don't get me wrong, your idea is perfectly valid xD I'm clarifying that it's not what I was actively planning or thinking on, but it's completely fair if this is how you wish to interpret the swamp and its mysterious behavior. The Spear absolutely has been responsible for many massacres across the history of Gladiator's Avatarverse, and there's nothing to say it couldn't have committed one of its massacres in the swamp (hell, you could even headcanon it's why the swamp became so spiritual, if the Spear killed so many innocent souls that their spirits just became one with the swamp? I dunno xD).

Still, I just want to clarify that my personal choice with the swamp is to make it more or less an unpredictable force of spirituality, for the extent of its power to be difficult to understand and measure, but for it to work, most of all, by bridging souls through spiritual connections when the opportune moment happens to arrive. Whether said spiritual connection exists between two pure souls or totally corrupt ones, the swamp just crafts the connection all the same.