#it was easier to roll over and agree with his version of reality than fight back and sometimes I believed his version over what I knew | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

watchmegetobsessed · 4 years

Text

An Ocean Away - Harry Styles

Sequel to Tastes Like Strawberries 🍓 !

a/n: ahhh! thank you so much for the love you showed TLS! i already had more planned for the story, but all your comments motivated me to do this part 2! it’s an emotional one so brace yourselves! further in the chapter i placed the song that inspired the title and i listened to it while writing so i suggest you do the same!

pairing: professor!Harry x Reader

warning: sexual content

word count: 12.7k

masterlist

You walk down the familiar hallway texting back Eden that you are not spending the night at home again.

Eden: You really need to tell me about the dick that keeps you so busy these days.

Y/N: I never said a thing about any dick.

Eden: Oh please, you surely got yourself a rebound after Harry, you can’t tell me otherwise.

Y/N: Don’t you get a rebound when you broke up with someone? I was never together with Harry, so it doesn’t make sense.

Eden: You had a thing!! Okay, whatever. Keep your little secrets, I guess it’s fine…

Y/N: Love you!

Chuckling to yourself you put the phone away and stop at the door you know all too well, knocking two times before you open it and poke your head inside.

Harry is sitting at his desk, his reading glasses sitting low on the bridge of his nose as he is vigorously scribbling something down into his notebook. He lifts his head at your arrival and you shut the door closed behind you.

“Hello, professor,” you smile at him teasingly, walking around his desk as he pushes himself back a little so you can sit on his lap, pecking his lips gently.

“Hey, done for the day?” he asks, his fingers tenderly stroking your thighs over the fabric of your jeans.

“Yeah. We can leave if you’re done,” you nod.

“Just a few more minutes, alright?”

“Sure,” you nod, standing up from his lap so he can finish his work while you sit on the little loveseat he has in the corner, right under the window.

It’s been six weeks since New Year’s Eve, the new semester has officially started, you’re working your way towards your degree as this is officially your last semester, but what’s more important that you and Harry have been a couple for six weeks following the heated actions of New Year’s Eve.

Harry is still quite anxious about the whole thing, always on high alert and he even asked you to lie to Eden and Nat too. You tried to fight him on that, but you could tell how much he wanted to protect what you had so you decided to feed them this elaborate story about how you and Harry had a fight on New Year’s Eve and realized that it would have never worked out so you agreed to stay just friends. It seems like they believed, because they’ve been keen on trying to set you up with someone while you just keep dodging their attempts, sneaking around with Harry behind their back.

Other than the continuous lying and sneaking around, things have been going well with him. You’ve been spending a lot of time at his place, the only hiding spot where you can be carefree around each other without always watching out for others around you.

Today is Valentine’s day and though your opportunities to celebrate are very slim, having anything that’s slightly public crossed out of the list, that still doesn’t stop the two of you from having a good night in.

You watch him curiously as he is reading the lines of someone’s essay probably, or some test, whatever. Holding the pen ready to use whenever he finds something incorrect, he furrows his eyebrows at something before crossing out a line, mouthing the words he writes to the side of the page. He doesn’t wear his glasses that often, but he’s been complaining about having dry eyes these past days so it’s no surprised he switched to them from his contact lenses.

“You look sexy in your glasses, have I told you that?”

He glances at you, a small smirk tugging on his lips before he returns to the paper in front of him.

“Think they make me look older,” he mumbles under his breath.

“Nah, not more at least than your grandpa sweaters,” you tease him, earning a ‘Really? This again?’ look from him that makes you chuckle.

You busy yourself while Harry finishes his work and then you head out together, strictly keeping the distance between each other. Walking out of the building Harry heads to the left where the car park is while you take a turn to the right. It’s been your usual, since you can’t have anyone see you get into Harry’s car so casually, so you usually walk down to the small café near Building D, because there’s a very narrow little street running behind it where you can get into the car without anyone noticing you. You do the same now too before finally heading back to Harry’s place. Sinking into the comfortable seat, you stare out the window, thinking about how it’s just been six weeks since New Year’s Eve, but it feels like you’ve been together with Harry for months. Despite his many doubts and hesitant act, it was easy to fall into a kind of routine with him, and even more easier to get used to the thought that he is yours and you are his.

During these six weeks you’ve learned quite a few things about him, things women on campus would die to know and they were handed over to you on a silver plate by Harry himself.

One, he is a very touchy person, of course, when he has the chance for it. In the safety of his home or when you have a few minutes for yourselves in his office, he always likes to have his hand on your back or waist, he loves touching your hips or cheeks, caressing the skin wherever it shows from under your clothes. He is also very cuddly, likes to wrap you in his arms when you’re watching TV and when it’s time to sleep the first thing he does is to pull you into his embrace. You usually wake up in the morning with him completely wrapped around you, limbs thrown over you, face buried into your chest or stomach. He is a messy sleeper, but also a fucking adorable one.

Two, he is a good cook but not that good at baking. He says it’s the universe’s sign that he shouldn’t eat as much sweet stuff as he does, but in reality he just sucks at measuring the ingredients. He never follows the recipe, easily goes with things his own way and then he is surprised when it doesn’t turn out as it should.

Three, he notices the smallest things you’d never. Like how you hate it when the Sun is shining right into your face so he always makes sure to draw the blinds in the evening, or that you prefer sleeping with more pillows so he just simply gives you an extra without even asking every time you’re spending the night. He cares so much about you to the smallest details, it always makes your heart flutter.

And four, though he keeps a tough act in school, he is a lovesick puppy when no one is around, likes to be the small spoon when cuddling, absolutely adores it when you cup his face in your palms and kiss it all over. Loves it when you play with his hair or when you hug him from behind, kissing between his shoulder blades. He always tells you how pretty you are and never misses a chance to sneak a kiss from you. You couldn’t imagine him do any of these before you really knew him, but now you see that all these little things are just as much parts of him like the version of him he shows at school. You feel lucky to be able to see him like this and you’ll probably never get bored of it.

Arriving to his place you drop your bag off at the bedroom before you join him in the kitchen, already eyeing the flyer to the nearby Italian place that delivers.

“How about pizza?” he hums, eyebrows knitted together as he scans the menu.

“Sounds good. Can we order dessert too?” Walking past him you kiss his shoulder before grabbing a glass for yourself, filling it with tap water.

“Oh, no need,” he shyly answers, glancing at you. “We… have dessert.”

You watch him with curious eyes as he disappears in his little study before emerging with a plate filled with pink cupcakes. They look wobbly, the cream on top is not the same on either of them, but because you know he made them, they are the most perfect you’ve ever seen.

He places the plate to the counter with a shy smile before turning to you.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he murmurs, hands finding your hips as he pulls you in for a kiss.

“Oh baby, did you stay up last night to make these?” you ask, touched that he took the time and energy to surprise you with something. Harry nods and you kiss his dimples softly.

“Mm, they are strawberry flavored,” he smirks boyishly.

“We are never escaping strawberries,” you chuckle softly as you dip your fingertip into the cream on top of one of the cakes, tasting it. “Hmm, this is actually good,” you tell him.

“Yeah, the cream is kind of okay, dunno about the rest though,” he admits chuckling.

“As long as it’s not poisonous, I’ll love it,” you giggle kissing his lips again softly. “Alright, but I can’t go over the fact that we agreed on no gifts for Valentine’s Day,” you say giving him a look.

“S’not a gift, just… a little gesture,” he shrugs innocently.

“Okay, then you can’t get mad over my little gesture,” you smirk at him, peeling his arms off you before you run into his bedroom to get his gift.

You really weren’t planning to give him anything, but you had a good idea last minute and couldn’t just not do it. Digging into your bag you pull out the little box and join him in the kitchen again, handing it to him.

“It’s not fair if you spent money on it,” he pouts, but you just roll your eyes.

“You spent money on the cupcakes too. But besides, I didn’t spent a penny on it. Open it!” You urge him.

Harry huffs but takes the lid off, revealing a stack of Polaroid photos. In this not too ideal situation the two of you are living in, there’s no chance you can ever post anything about him, even though there are quite a few cute photos of you with Harry. Eden recently bought a Polaroid printer and you borrowed it to print your favorite pictures of the two of you. There’s one from the morning after New Year’s Eve, just a silly selfie you took in bed, then one with the band from Harry’s birthday recently, a photo of the two of you backstage of one of his gigs you took in the mirror, he has his guitar in his hands as you stand next to him smiling widely. There are a few more with Sarah, Mitch, Charlotte and Adam and at the very end of the stack… some special ones.

You watch him go through them smiling warmly until he reaches the last few and freezes. You took the courage to take a few spicy ones of yourself in your favorite lingerie and thought it would be sexy to print them out as well and give them to him.

“I hope you’re not thinking about selling them already,” you chuckle. Harry glances up at you before shaking his head with a playful smirk.

“Was just a little surprised by them,” he admits.

“Do you… like them?”

“Oh baby, I love them, you look… wow,” he breathes out going over the pictures one more time. “But I’m gonna have to lock these away so no one finds them. Adam likes to go over my stuff when he is over, I definitely don’t want him to find them.”

“You better keep them safe because if anyone sees them I’m burying myself,” you snort.

Harry puts the stack of photos back into the box before leaning down he cups your face and kisses you gently.

“Thank you, love the pictures. All of them,” he adds cheekily and you feel yourself blushing.

He leans in to kiss you again, putting the box aside to the counter and this time it’s not just one short kiss, he carries it on, taking his time with your lips, savoring and tasting you without a worry in the world. It grows more and more passionate, tongues clashing and you tug at his hair, lacing your fingers through his locks, a moan escaping his pink lips.

You start inching backwards until your backside meets the edge of the counter. Harry doesn’t hesitate to pull your sweater off of you, throwing it behind before his lips are pressed against yours again. It doesn’t take long for his shirt and pants and your jeans to end up on the floor somewhere behind him, leaving you both in just your underwear. You kiss down his neck and collarbones, your lips gliding across his tattooed chest as you slowly slide down to your knees, hands moving over his growing bulge.

Hooking your fingers into the elastic of his boxers, you tug them down and pull his erection out, already so hard for you and you barely even touched him.

“What does my Valentine deserve for making me cupcakes?” you hum, teasingly pumping him a few times with your hands. Harry whimpers under your touch, but doesn’t answer so you stop your hands and look up at him. “Talk to me, what do you want?”

“Your mouth,” he breathes out, his eyes meeting yours, filled with lust and hunger only for you. Smirking to yourself you lick his length up before gently kissing the head, swirling your tongue around the tip before you slowly take him into your mouth.

“Oh fuck, baby!” he pants when you start bobbing your head, pumping the base in sync with your head’s movements.

His hand comes to the back of your head, fingers lacing through your hair. He doesn’t force you, he never does, just likes to hold onto you. You try to take him deeper and deeper with each movement until you fit his whole cock into your mouth, keeping it there for a few seconds before pulling away and letting him go.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he mumbles, helping you up from the floor, kissing your lips hard as he is already pulling your panties down your legs. “How do you want it?”

“From behind,” you tell without hesitation, turning around so you can lean onto the counter and push your ass up for him.

You feel one of his hands stroke down your spine while the other one reaches between your legs, his fingers finding your clit, drawing gentle circles on it at first before he goes a little harder, making you moan his name.

“Harry, please!” you beg, the need to feel him growing with each passing second.

He pulls his hand back, grabbing his hard cock as he lines himself up with you, one hand on his shaft, the other one holding your hip firmly to keep you in place. First he pushes just the tip inside and when he is sure you’re ready to take more, he slides all of him inside, filling you up perfectly.

“Shit, you feel so fucking good. Always so good,” he breathes out, both his hands coming to grip your waist as his hips meet your ass from behind.

He starts moving, going a little soft at the beginning before he gets rougher, his hips smacking against your ass with each thrust. You arch your back and push your ass up so you’re angled just perfectly for him, he runs a hand up your back, sliding it under the clasp of your bra and he leaves it there while fucking you from behind oh so well.

“Harry, oh my God!” you groan when he starts hitting that one spot that makes you go crazy.

“Feeling good, baby?”

“Fuck! So good!” you gasp, feeling the pleasure building up with each thrust. “Go harder!” you beg and once he has both hands on your hips again he does as you asked, railing into you hard, making you keep gasping for air.

“Getting close? Tell me when you’re about to cum, baby.”

“I’m close, please don’t stop!” you pant, hands holding onto the counter’s edge for dear life.

He reaches around you, a hand coming between your legs as his fingers find your clit again, adding to the sensation as he starts playing with it just the way you like it.

“Fuck, fuck! I’m gonna cum! Harry!” you moan uncontrollably and he growls deeply from his chest.

“Cum with me, baby. Give it to me,” he breathes out sharply and he just keeps railing you hard, fingers working on your clit until he feels your walls clench around his dick. “Oh fuck, yes, baby! Cum on my cock!” he gasps and at the same time as you go through your orgasm, you feel him twitch inside you, coming hard with you at the same time. “Jesus fuck! I love you, Y/N!”

You gasp at his words, eyes snapping open in the middle of your orgasm and all air pushes out of your lungs for a moment.

He whimpers and moans, thrusting into you a few more times before he comes to a halt, both of you panting like crazy, coming off your high. When he slowly slides his softening cock out of you, you turn around and look into his eyes. For a moment you thought he just said it in the heat of the moment and he didn’t even realize it, but when your eyes meet his, you can tell he is a little afraid of what your reaction is going to be.

“Did you mean that?” you quietly ask as he tucks his dick back into his boxers, pulling them up, but you don’t bother to put your underwear back on, standing there in only your bra.

“I-I did. I didn’t mean to say it now, but I did mean it,” he nods. “Is it… too soon?”

“No,” you smile at him, stepping closer so you can cup his face in your palms, kissing his lips softly. “I love you too.”

“You do?” he asks, surprised at your reaction.

“Of course, silly. I wouldn’t give my nudes to someone I don’t,” you joke making him chuckle, his arms coming to curl around your waist.

“Sorry, this wasn’t too… romantic,” he breathes out and you press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“You said you love me while fucking me on Valentine’s Day after exchanging cute gifts. I think it’s romantic,” you chuckle, finally making him smile. “Besides, I don’t care about the setting, just feels nice to hear you say it.”

“Yeah?” “Mhm, care to say it again so I can see your eyes as well?”

“I love you,” he softly murmurs, his forehead resting against yours.

“Yeah, feels better when I can actually look at you,” you chuckle kissing him softly. “I love you too.”

It’s definitely not just fun and games, being in a secret relationship that no one can know about. It surely adds a lot of tension into the situation, having to be so careful all the time and be reserved to the point where you can’t even be seen too often together.

As the semester carries on you always keep your ears open if there’s anything going on about you and Harry. Though you only limit your time together on campus to the bare minimum, only talking on rare occasions, you still want to make sure no one is getting the wrong (or right) idea about what is going on between the two of you.

The worst part is probably having to lie to Eden and Nat all the time. You spend about three nights at Harry’s every week and you have to lie every time you leave. After a while you tell them that you’re dating this new guy but he wants to keep it low-key because he recently broke up with his previous girlfriend. That gives them enough peace not to nag you all the time but you can tell they really want to meet this new man in your life.

You’ve tried to discuss it with Harry, tell him that they won’t tell anyone but it ended in a fight and you kind of gave up. Harry is way too keen on keeping it a secret and it’s clear he is not gonna make any exceptions. At least it’s the same with his friends, the two of you act like just friends when you’re out with the band though you have a suspicion that Sarah can see through the act. However she chooses not to talk about it so it’s kept hidden.

You don’t fight much with Harry, but when you do, it’s major. You both can get really into the argument and it easily gets way too heated, turning into a screaming match until you both realize you should just talk it out and have a little more understanding for each other. The makeup sex after a fight however… that’s something that makes up for every nasty thing that’s said in the heat of the moment.

Nearing the end of the semester you both start to grow more stressed, you about finishing your last classes, your thesis and studying for your finals, Harry about the growing pile of essays and tests waiting to be graded. A lot of the time when you’re at his place you both are busy with your own stuff and only have the chance to actually be with each other when you go to bed. It takes a toll on the both of you, but you’re determined to make it work. Despite the unfortunate nature of how you are forced to maintain your relationship, it’s the healthiest one you’ve ever head and you definitely won’t give up on it too easily.

Though you, Nat and Eden turn in your thesis works mid-April, the semester is still not done for the three of you, the final exams are threateningly close at this point. Spring has officially kicked in, the weather is mostly clear and sunny, allows you to stay outside again and you take advantage of it.

One particular afternoon the three of you are lounging under the pergola, all three of you buried in a book or your notes when you spot Harry walking towards the building. You keep your eyes on him as he slowly approaches you, his gaze meets yours and he smiles at you shortly. It’s all you can get out in the public, but it’s more than nothing.

“Isn’t it hard to see him?” Eden asks and glancing her way you see that she is looking at Harry who is now busy with his phone.

“Why would it be?”

“I don’t know, you clearly had a thing for him and it wasn’t even just a one-sided flirting like every other women had with him. I couldn’t be around him if it happened to me.”

“It’s not like anything major happened. It was all bad timing and the situation wasn’t good. It’s better this way,” you tell her, trying to sound convincing while the guilt is eating you on the inside. All these lies are clouding over your head and you have a feeling they will come down on you pouring one day.

“Still crazy that you are friends with his friends though,” Nat chimes in, squinting her eyes in the sunshine.

“Yeah, you are literally the only person on campus who gets to see him in his private life,” Eden nods. If only they knew how much you see him privately!

“It’s not that crazy,” you shrug, turning back to your book.

You all get back to work, forgetting about Harry, or at least Nat and Eden does, because you get a text from him shortly after he disappeared in the building.

Harry: You look very pretty today :)

Y/N: Flirting with me on campus, professor?

Harry: Can’t help it.

Y/N: You look handsome too, it’s a shame I can’t kiss you stupid!

Harry: Patience!

“Y/N? Did you hear what I said?” Nat grabs your attention from the phone and you realize she was talking to you.

“What? Uh, sorry.”

“I said that we should go out this weekend. It’s been ages since we last did anything other than studying.”

“I’m not sure…”

“Don’t come with your usual, rambling about how we shouldn’t have any fun before we finish,” Eden rolls her eyes.

“That’s not what I say. I just think that we have priorities.”

“I don’t know about you, but it’s a priority for me to have fun, so I’m down for a night out.

“I think I’m passing,” you mumble. You already made plans for the weekend with Harry, take a hike up the hills since the weather has been nice and it would be great to spend time together outside the house. The hiking routes are far away enough from town that uni students don’t like to take the hustle to drive all the way out so you’ll be fine being together outside.

“If you want to say that you have something planned with your mystery man, don’t even bother. If it’s not his birthday, we are overruling him,” Eden scoffs and you roll your eyes at her.

“Just go without me.”

“That’s not the same!” Nat whines. “Come on, Y/N. For once choose us!”

“That’s rude I choose you guys a lot of times!”

“Not since you’ve been spending half your life with some man and the other half in the library.”

“Yeah, we feel abandoned!” Nat pouts at you, trying to make you feel bad and in all honesty, she is succeeding.

“We can doll ourselves up, have fancy cocktails and all that, it’s gonna be fun! Come on, just one night! I can’t take another Saturday sitting in my room, reading my notes,” Eden growls and you sigh in defeat.

“Alright, I guess I’m in,” you mumble and your friends start cheering as if you just declared that men and women are going to get paid equally from now on.

You can tell Harry is bummed that you have to cancel your weekend plans, but he is also trying to be understanding.

“I couldn’t bring up a relevant argument so they made me say yes,” you growl when later that day you’re cuddling on his couch after dinner.

“S’fine,” he sighs, leaning down he pecks your lips shortly.

“Wish I could just tell them that I had plans with you,” you breathe out.

“Y/N…” “I know!” you roll your eyes. “It’s just that it would be nice if I could at least tell them the truth.”

“We already talked about this,” he sighs.

“I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that it bothers me,” you point out. “Am I not allowed to feel that way?”

“You are, I just don’t get why you keep bringing it up when there’s literally nothing I can do about it,” he retorts.

“Well there is, you just choose not to.” And with that, you officially pick another fight with him.

It’s not that you enjoy fighting with him, not at all, but the situation is so not ideal and you find his overprotectiveness a little too much at times. You don’t understand why you can’t share it with your two closest friends. You could at least tell Sarah or the other guys, have anyone know about the two of you, but literally no one on Earth knows that you are a couple and it’s bugging you way more than it probably should.

“Why are you so damn keen on making others know about us? What does that have to do with anything?” he growls throwing his hands into the air, standing in the opposite end of the room as you keep pacing the floor, the urge to keep on moving taking over you.

“Because—“ you snap, but stop yourself. You know if you say it out loud, he’ll think you’re stupid.

“Because what?!”

“Because i-it makes me feel like we are not even real! I can’t talk about us, I can’t touch you outside of this house, no one knows we are a thing and it’s so fucking nerve-wrecking, Harry!” you break down, feeling your throat closing up. You didn’t mean to get emotional over this, but you’ve been bottling it up for a while now.

Harry’s shoulder fall forward as he sees the change in you, the heat of the fight long forgotten. He crosses the room, hands reaching up to cup your face in his palms, his thumbs running across the soft skin under your eyes as he wipes the tears away.

“Baby, I know. You think I don’t want to show you off? I want to hold your hand and just take a walk with you, kiss you whenever I want to, show all the horny fratboys on campus that you’re taken. I know it’s hard, but we really don’t have a choice until the end of the semester.”

He gently kisses the tip of your nose before pulling you to his chest, your arms circle around his waist as you bury your face into the crook of his neck, trying to stop your sobs.

“I’m sorry. I really wish it was all different,” he murmurs, kissing into your hair softly.

“No, I’m sorry for bitching about this all the time. I knew what we were getting into,” you exhale sharply. “It just… really sucks.”

“It does. But we just have to be patient.”

You manage to put the fight behind and move on in peace, but a tiny thought remains buzzing in the very back of your mind. What happens when you finish school? Will it all be different? Harry will still be a professor and if people see you around together, they will know you were one of his students. What’s gonna be the difference? If he is so on edge now, something is telling you he won’t be changing dramatically and it concerns you. A lot.

Not willingly, but you go out with Nat and Eden on Saturday. You go to a place that’s quite popular between students, you can most likely always find familiar faces from lecture halls and classes. It’s close to campus and more on the cheap side, the perfect spot for uni students for a night of fun.

As expected, you run into some people from school and they invite the three of you to sit with them at their table which comes in handy, because there’s no empty place by the time you arrive.

One drink follows the other and you easily get tipsy especially because you skipped on dinner before heading out. Though you weren’t in the mood for tonight, you find yourself enjoying the conversation and the company. It really has been long since the last time you went out with the girls and it’s nice to spend some time with them without the books and notes.

A debate starts about whose course one of the boys, Jace should take next semester.

“Professor Peltz is fucking boring, dude,” Nat growls, taking a sip from her drink. “Had him last semester, I could barely stay awake during his lectures.”

“Yeah, but they say he gives good grades easily,” Jace argues.

“Okay, but who else can you choose from again?” Lydia, a girl who lived a few doors down from you when you lived in a dormitory your first year.

“Um, Professor Makley and Professor Styles.”

You freeze at the mention of Harry, especially upon hearing Lydia’s reaction.

“Jace, choose Professor Styles! He is so fucking hot!”

“Not that it matters to me, Lyd,” Jace chuckles.

“Oh come on, I know even guys think he is hot.”

You feel like an intruder in the conversation, keeping quiet as you listen to her rave about how hot she finds Harry. It’s like you are eavesdropping on something that wasn’t meant for your ears, but it’s just the guilt bubbling inside you once again, because you know you won’t be able to say a word without having to lie.

“She has a point,” another guy, Garrett chimes into the conversation. “The man is handsome and I’m not even ashamed to admit it.”

“See?” Lydia chuckles. “He is sexy and smart, the whole package. I’ve been daydreaming about him since first year.”

You catch Eden’s look, but you just busy yourself with gulping from your vodka cranberry, feeling uncomfortable in the situation but not even for the reason she thinks. Eden must think it’s weird because you had an actual thing with Harry, but the truth is… that thing is still very much ongoing.

“I would let that man do whatever he wants with me,” Lydia adds sighing longingly, and you are having a hard time to hold your tongue. Unfortunately, you don’t succeed.

“Not sure he wants anything to do with you,” you mumble into your drink and though you hoped your comment would stay unnoticed, but you are out of luck.

“You don’t know that for sure,” Lydia slyly replies, a bit too full of herself for your liking. Yes, she is pretty and definitely doesn’t have problem with guys, but she is a little too confident about Harry if you’re being honest.

“I’m sorry?” you ask with a soft, bit annoyed chuckle.

“I’m just saying that we’ll never know who he finds attractive, because we all know he keeps himself so far from his students.”

“Yeah, maybe because he is not interested in any of his students,” you point out.

“As if he would ever make a move on any of us,” she snorts and you are losing your temper. You shouldn’t have had so much to drink, because now you really can’t hold your tongue.

“You can never know, Lydia. You can’t know if he acts the way he does because he is just trying to be professional or because he is, and consider this, not interested in you. Maybe he would actually act up on his feelings but you’re just not his type.”

Your comment is more like just a harsh comeback to Lydia’s words, but Nat and Eden kind of catch on that something is up with you. Ignoring their questioning looks you chug down your drink and soon excuse yourself to get some fresh air. No surprise that they follow you like puppies.

“Girl, what was that inside?” Nat asks as the three of you stand near the entrance of the bar, a few smoking guests littering the area.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” you mumble, clearly avoiding to look at any of them, wrapping your arms around your upper body as if you were trying to keep your shit together physically.

“You snapped at Lydia for saying Professor Styles might have a thing for her,” Eden points out, but you just bite the inside of your cheeks.

“Because it was bullshit.”

“Why does that matter to you? Not that you’re together with him or something,” Nat argues and you roll your lips into your mouth, trying to keep a straight face but they know you way better than that. They gasp at the same time, Eden grabbing your forearm forcefully that makes you scowl.

“Hey! That hurts!” you whine, but she couldn’t care less.

“Are you fucking around with Professor Styles?” Nat whisper yells at you, eyes wider than ever.

“I mean… we’re not fucking around,” you mumble, looking down at your shoes as you kick the dirt around. “We’re kinda serious.”

“Holy fucking shit!” Eden snaps, drawing some attention at her and you let out an awkward chuckle at the glances the three of you get. “Are you fucking joking right now?”

“No, I am… not,” you admit, feeling a little relieved that you finally said it, but you also feel like you let Harry down with it.

“How long?” Nat questions in shock.

“Since New Year’s Eve. So… almost four months.”

“So he is the one you’ve been seeing all this time? The guy you didn’t want to talk about?”

“Um, yeah. It’s not that I didn’t want to talk about him, we just agreed that it’s safer if no one knows.”

“I’m speechless, Y/N,” Eden shakes her head in disbelief. “I can’t fucking believe you kept it from us for this long!”

“I know, I felt so shitty, but it’s such a complicated situation, it’s so risky, we don’t want it to ruin us.”

“Obviously,” Nat nods understandingly. “And now I see why you snapped so harshly at Lydia.”

“I just couldn’t stand her talking like that. You guys have no idea how hard it is to keep every fucking thought to myself.”

“Why do I have a feeling it has a little more to it than to just Lydia drooling over Harry?” Nat arches an eyebrow at you, folding her arms over her chest.

“Yeah, you’ve been oddly tensed lately,” Eden agrees.

“It’s just pretty stressful to have a secret relationship, it causes a lot of tension. And I’ve been… I’m not sure anything is going to change after I graduate, if I’m being honest.”

“What do you mean?” Nat asks.

“I just…” you sigh, all your thoughts you kept to yourself flooding back to you at once, overwhelming you in a situation that’s already a bit too much to handle. “We keep saying that it’s gonna change when I graduate, but I don’t see it. He is so overprotective and even if I graduate, people will find out that I was once his student. And it might not be against the rules anymore, but we’ll be judged. I didn’t think it through before, but it’s now starting to be more and more clear for me and I just… don’t know if we can make it work.”

You feel the tears forming in your eyes, you’ve been keeping this to yourself for way too long now and saying it out loud just broke the dam. When Nat and Eden sees your lips trembling and the watery eyes you’re trying to blink away, they don’t hesitate to pull you into a tight hug.

“Aw, don’t cry! It makes me want to cry too!” Nat chuckles softly as they sandwich you between them.

“It just sucks so much, because I love him, but I feel like we met at the wrong time and place,” you sob, letting them crush you.

“It happens, baby. It happens. You’ll figure it out!” Eden kisses your forehead before they let go of you. “Want to go home?”

“It’s still early, don’t want to kill the party. I think I’ll just… head over to Harry’s for now. Is that okay?”

“Of course, do whatever makes you feel better,” Nat assures you, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“I’m sorry I was such a party pooper.”

You call yourself an Uber and text Harry that you are going over. Twenty minutes later you are walking up the stairs to his house and he opens the front door before you could even reach for the doorknob.

“Hey, baby,” he breathes out softly and you don’t say a word, just wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face into the crook of his neck. “Hey, what happened? Didn’t have a good time with your friends?” He delicately caresses your hair, walking the two of you inside so he can close the door before wrapping both his arms around you, holding you close to his chest.

“Don’t really want to talk about it,” you mumble and it’s the truth. You’re tired of these thoughts though you know you should talk to him about how you’ve been feeling about the two of you lately. Part of you is hoping something will just magically solve the whole situation and you won’t have to deal with it yourself.

Harry makes you a tea while you take a shower and once you are both in bed, you cuddle to his side while he reads some. You are just genuinely enjoying his closeness, because despite everything that’s been haunting you in connection with Harry, you really love this man. Like no one else before and the possibility of the two of you not making it long term scares you more than it probably should.

The next few weeks come and go in a sense of numbness. Following your emotional breakdown in front of the bar, you kind of push the whole thing to the back of your mind once again, putting all your focus on finishing school. Neither you nor Harry has the energy to put up more fights though you both can feel there’s a lot to talk about, but the end of the semester is just keeping you both way too busy to acknowledge the problems waiting on the corner.

At least there’s one less weight on your shoulders now that Nat and Eden know about you and Harry. You made them swear to their life they won’t tell anyone and you trust them to keep this heavy secret. They’ve been very supportive of the two of you, interrogated you one evening about everything that happened so far, they wanted to make sure Harry treats you the right way. No surprise, he does.

A few weeks before your state exam Harry extends his contract with the school to have him as a professor for another academic year so he is able to keep his visa as well.

You spend your last two weeks buried in your notes before your state exam and Harry gives you all the time and space you need, knowing well how much it means to you to earn the best grade possible.

When you are finally over your exam, you are celebrating at his place. He has bought a little cake and some champagne and you can’t wait to finally spend some time with him without having to worry about your studies.

“I’m proud of you, baby,” he smiles at you, clinking his glass against yours.

“Thank you, feels nice to be finally free,” you chuckle before taking a sip from the champagne.

“My smart girl, knew you’d kill all your exams.” He kisses your lips shortly before squeezing your hand. “How about I run a bath for us, we eat the cake in the tub and then we can watch a movie?”

“Sounds fantastic,” you smile at him before he disappears in the bathroom to get everything ready.

Finishing your champagne you wash the glass quickly and you’re about to cut the cake when your phone buzzes signaling that you’ve just gotten an email. As pull down the notification bar your lips part reading the first few lines. You open the whole thing and read through it eagerly.

It’s a job offer, but not just some lame one that also sounds sketchy at the same time. This one is from one of the biggest investigation offices in London and they are offering you a trainee position as a forensic document examiner with a possible secured spot on their team after one year. The money sounds amazing, the position is perfect, just what you’ve been dreaming of once you are done with school and they are looking forward to hear back from you about a possible interview in the near future.

“Alright, bath is coming together nicely, want to cut the ca—Wha’s up?” Harry questions upon returning from the bathroom, finding you staring at your phone’s screen with widened eyes.

“I, uhh—I just got a… a job offer,” you stutter, still rereading the lines, trying to find a sign that tells you it’s just a joke, but it seems completely genuine.

“What? Baby, that’s amazing!”

“Yeah,” you nod swallowing hard before you look up at him. “It’s in London.”

You watch his face fall from excited and happy to shocked and kind of panicky. You both know what that means, it doesn’t have to be said out loud. Harry just signed another year with the university that’s gonna tie him here for the next 12 months and if you accept the job you’ll be all the way across the world in the UK. Kind of ironic, him, the British guy stuck in the States while you, the American in the relationship, eager to go to the UK.

“That’s… wow. London.”

“Yeah, London,” you nod biting the inside of your cheeks.

“Are you… Are you gonna take it?”

“Well, they want an interview with me, but this is clearly a huge opportunity for me,” you say, not wanting to say the actual words. You feel like saying them would hit you harder than what you can take.

“It clearly is, it’s just that… You want to leave?” he breathes out, eyebrows knitting together.

“This is my only job offer and probably the best I’ll ever get.”

“So you do want to leave,” he forces and it’s pushing your limits.

“Career-wise, of course!” you finally say out loud, unwillingly.

“And what about everything else?”

“I clearly don’t want to leave everything else here, but I will never get a chance like this, Harry. This is the greatest push for someone like me, fresh out of school. I can have a secured spot in a year at a well-respected place. I’m not really in the position to reject offers like this.”

He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, clearly unsure about what to do or say in the situation on his hand. You can tell he has a lot to say, but you’re not sure you want to hear all of them.

“Say something?” you softly plead and his eyes meet yours again, filled with concern.

“I just… It took me by surprise, I guess.”

“I wasn’t expecting it either.”

“No, not the job offer,” he shakes his head.

“Then what?”

“That you are ready to leave so easily. It’s like you never even wanted to discuss a version where you stay here, you just decided that you are leaving and that’s it.”

“Did you hear me? I cannot pass on this opportunity, Harry.”

“I did hear you,” he nods, pressing his lips together. “I heard that you didn’t even think about saying no.”

“Why would I say no?”

“Because I’m here, Y/N!” he snaps. “Good to know that I’m not a factor when it comes to decisions as big as leaving the country!”

“You are, Harry, but I need to think about my future career now. I’m not planning to work at an office for the rest of my life and if I pass on this job I might never get anything as good as this one,” you explain, but it seems like the two of you are having two different conversations.

“But why do I feel like it was never an option for you to stay?”

You give him a confused look. He really doesn’t see your point.

“Okay, why was only I supposed to change plans for us? You coming to London doesn’t feel like an option either, why are you trying to turn this against me?”

“I just extended my contract, you know that.”

“I do, and also, while we are at it, you didn’t ask me about that either. You didn’t even wait for me to figure out what I want to do after school, you just assumed that I would be here, but I never said that.” You can tell it hit him hard in the chest but somehow still, he thinks he is right when he isn’t.

“How could have I known you’d want to move across the globe?” he throws his hands up into the air.

“You’re saying this as if I didn’t just get the email and I’ve been plotting this the whole fucking time!”

“I’m just saying that it’s a huge fucking step and you decided so easily, it says a lot about the nature of our relationship.”

“Why are you saying that?!” you snap at him. “Why are you trying to make me the bad guy?”

“I’m not! I’m just saying that it would have been nice if you at least pretended like it was up for debate. You know what it’ll do to us if you move to London.”

“Then come with me!”

“I can’t!” He raises his voice, clearly losing his temper. “I can’t break my contract and you know that too.”

“Well, I can’t afford to say no to the job either and if I’m being honest, I don’t think we could have made it work even if I stayed.” The words leave your mouth before you could think about them, and the cat is finally out of the bag. It seemingly shocked Harry and he is now staring at you with a blank expression, shoulders falling forward.

“What?” he breathes out and you can actually hear his heart breaking. You take a deep breath and rub your face with your palms, trying to collect your thoughts and not just blurt everything out.

“I’ve been thinking and… Even after I’m officially out of the school, people will know that I was your student if they see us together. And I know how important your reputation is for you so I would never put you through any of the shit we might get for us being together. People would judge, no matter what the situation is. I don’t… I just don’t think we can ever make it work here.”

He stays silent, just stares at you, taking in your words and once again, you wish you could read his mind. You almost start begging him to say something when he finally speaks up.

“So you think we don’t have a chance?”

“Not here… maybe not now. I feel like this has been the perfect example of wrong place, wrong time,” you quietly say, a pang of guilt in your tone, this is not how you planned on making this conversation. To be honest, you wished this never had to come, but you were out of luck.

Harry is awfully silent, it’s all over his face how broken he is and you feel the same. You have so much love for this man, yet fate decided you don’t get to share it with him the way you want.

Walking closer you cup his face in your palms, searching for his eyes until his green irises meet your gaze. You run your thumb across his cheekbones, the pads of your fingers gliding softly over the soft skin. His hands slowly find their way to your waist and he pulls you close to him as you kiss him tenderly, a silent confession about just how much you love him.

“I wanted this to work. I wanted this so badly,” he whispers against your lips, his fingers digging into your back as he keeps you tight in his hold.

“I know. Me too,” you smile at him bitterly.

The rest of the evening passes by silently. You take a bath together, finish the cake anyway though even the sweetness can’t help the pain you both feel. Then you lie in bed for hours, just touching and feeling each other, making the best out of the time you have left. It’s unsaid, but you both know your days together are coming to a close end. Kisses and touches turn into some passionate love making, both of you desperate to feel as close to each other as possible and then you fall asleep in each other’s arms.

If you’re being honest, it’s all a blur following that night. You fix up an interview with London a few days later and they are not shying out of telling you straightforward that they want you there, the job is yours. You have one last short conversation with Harry about you leaving, but it’s more like just a confirmation that yes, it is going to happen and that leaves you with only a few weeks left together before you are packing up to leave the country.

You spend every possible free minute together until graduation where you finally get your degree. Your whole family comes and they cheer on you proudly, Harry standing in the crowd a little farther in the back, but still with a proud smile, a hint of gloominess in his beautiful green eyes. A week later you officially move out of your shared apartment with the girls, it’s a sobbing goodbye since all three of you are leaving in different directions following your graduation. You spend your last two weeks before your departure at home, spending as much time with your family as possible since you won’t be able to see them too often once you leave. Though your mom is dying to take you to the airport to say her final goodbye, you decided to give that time to Harry. He said he would drive to your hometown, pick you up and take you to the airport and you already know it’s gonna turn you into an emotional mess.

Leaving everything behind is hard, but having to say goodbye to Harry is the worst. It’s been a whole emotional rollercoaster for the both of you to get to this point and neither of you are ready to say goodbye, but this is what needs to happen.

That morning, you hug your parents, sister and brother tightly after you load Harry’s car with your two huge suitcases that have your whole life packed in them. You asked your family not to ask any questions about Harry and luckily, they kept quiet the whole time he was there, just treating him as a friend. You couldn’t take having to explain to them who he really is and how you met him, that’s gonna be another conversation for the future when you don’t feel like you’re about to start crying the moment you open your mouth.

The ride to the airport is silent, Harry holds your hand, your glued together palms lying on your lap the whole time. You haven’t even left but you already miss him so much.

Arriving he helps you bring all your stuff inside and patiently waits until you check your baggage in, leaving you with just your carry-on. Standing near the security check, the final moment finally comes and as soon as you look into his eyes you start bawling your eyes out.

“Oh baby, come ‘ere,” he breathes out, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I told you we would make everything right, but I couldn’t,” you sob into his chest as he holds you tight. You feel like if he let go of you, you’d just turn into a puddle at his feet.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he soothes you, his fingers threading through your hair.

“But it feels like it was,” you choke out. Harry leans back and takes your puffy cheeks between his warm palms, looking deep into your eyes.

“It wasn’t. As you said, it was just a matter of wrong time and place. But I think we brought the best out of it.”

“So… you don’t regret it?” you softly ask, eyebrows knitted together in concern.

“Absolutely not,” he smiles at you kindly. “I loved every moment of it. And I love you.” You notice how he didn’t use past tense when he said he loves you and you can’t decide if it aches your heart more or fills you with joy. A little bit both of them.

“I love you too,” you whisper before pressing your lips against his, savoring them one last time before you leave everything behind.

“Maybe we’ll meet again,” he smiles sweetly when he pulls back, tugging your hair behind your ear with a gentle move.

“I really hope,” you chuckle through your tears. “Take care, Harry,” you tell him, pecking his lips just once more.

“You too, baby,” he smiles, his hands falling to his sides as he lets go of you.

Turning around you walk into security and as you go with the line towards the gates, you glance back one last time. Harry is standing in the exact same spot, eyes glued to you as he watches you disappear from his sight.

youtube

It feels like the meeting is never coming to its end. You exchange a look with Jasmine, who seems just as tired and done with this two hours long discussion as you are. She grabs her phone from the table and you watch her something type out before she eyes at your device, signaling that she just texted you.

Jas: I need alcohol after this day. Want to have a drink with me after work?

Y/N: YES PLEASE!!!!!!!

You see her smile at her screen before both of you return to your boss at the front, talking about a possible upcoming case.

“And last but not least, I want to take a moment to bring light to the excellent work Y/N, our new full-time colleague did on the Santiago case. The police were highly satisfied with the fast and precise work you did. This was your first official case since you’ve decided to accept our offer to become a full member of our team and transferred from your position as a trainee. Congrats!” William, your boss nods in your way with a proud smile as a round of applause cheers for you from your colleagues.

“You go girl!” Jasmine mouths you from across the table and you just chuckle shaking your head.

The meeting finally wraps up and everyone goes on with their day. You are walking back to your office with Jasmine by your side. Your offices are next to each other and you started working here just three weeks apart. She is the same age as you and was approached the same way as well, it’s just that she moved all the way from Australia. The two of you have grown quite close, starting a new life at the same time in a foreign country, it easily brought you together.

“So are we leaving early for those drinks or what?” she asks poking your side.

“How early?”

“I don’t know, like fifteen minutes? Come on, it’s Friday, everyone leaves early!” You shake your head chuckling at her. She can be so restless sometimes, but it’s just the right amount that she can push you out of the comfort zone just enough.

“Alright.”

“Cool, I’ll come banging on your door,” she winks at you before disappearing for her usual coffee break.

It’s two in the afternoon, you still have a few hours ahead of you and some caffeine sounds perfect actually. Though the coffee at the office is excellent, you’ve grown to like this small place nearby, a family owned business that offers the best you’ve ever had.

You grab your bag from your office and head out for a quick coffee run. The walk to the café is freshening, the weather has been treating you well lately, the Sun is beaming and you can only hope you won’t wake up to pouring rain the next morning.

You think back to how lost you were feeling just a year ago, when all of this around you were so new and a little too much at once. One month into your time in London you even thought about quitting and moving back home. You felt alone and broken, yearning after everything you left behind. Your friends, family, loved ones, everything that was so far away from you.

It took you long weeks, even months to get used to your new life and now you can’t even imagine yourself anywhere else. It doesn’t miss you don’t miss terribly the life you had still, but now you have a lot to be happy about here as well.

Waiting at a crossroad, you find yourself twirling around the strawberry ring on your finger, your thumb fidgeting with it like every time you think about your home. You glance down at it and take a deep breath before the lamp turns green and you continue your walk to the café.

It’s not rush hours so there are only a few people lingering around the small place. You don’t have to think about what you are getting, James, the barista already knows your usual and starts making it right away as you swipe your card paying your drink.

You stand at the side, waiting for your coffee, staring out the window, watching people pass by on this lovely afternoon. Your gaze stops on an old lady sitting on a nearby bench, feeding a group of pigeons and you smile as a little girl runs through the birds, making them fly away instantly. The old lady just smiles at the girl, not holding a grudge that she just scared the birds away.

Your eyes move away, watching businessmen come and go, kids going home from school, wearing their school uniforms, everything just feels so… peaceful.

You are almost about to turn away from the window when your gaze falls on a tall figure near the Sainsbury’s across the road and your lips part as you catch a glimpse of a tattooed arm you know all too well. You blink once, twice, three times, waiting for your eyes to make sure it’s the person you think it is.

Harry is standing right there, holding a little bag of groceries, eyes glued to the screen of his phone, oblivious to your shocked gaze on him. Your feet move before your brain could think it through, they take you out of the café and you stand in the middle of the sidewalk as you call out for him.

“Harry!”

His head snaps up at his name, eyes looking around, searching for the source before they finally find you, a shocked, but seemingly joyful expression plastering over his handsome face. He is quick to shove his phone into his pocket before he watches both ways and runs across the road to meet you on the other side. You can’t push your smile down as you watch him approach you, his tall, fit figure getting closer and closer until he is standing right in front of you, watching you in awe.

“Hey,” he breathes out, both of you a little unsure of what to do, how to greet each other.

It’s been months since you last talked. After your departure you kept in contact, you couldn’t just distance yourself from him so abruptly, but the thousands of miles between the two of you made it almost impossible to maintain a working connection, the time zones, all the work you both were buried under and just life itself made you drift away from each other.

But he is now standing in front of you and though he looks slightly different, he is still the Harry you know and love. He is your Harry.

“What… what are you doing here?” you ask, finally finding your voice.

“Did you forget I’m British?” you teases you and you roll your eyes.

“I mean, are you visiting family or something?”

“I uhh…” he glances down at his feet before his eyes meet yours again. “I’m actually back.”

“What do you mean?”

“My contract ended in July and I didn’t… I didn’t extend it. I came back a few weeks ago.”

Your lips part at the information. Harry is in London, he is now in the same city as you, for the first time in a whole year.

“Really? That’s… wow.” There’s too much you want to tell and ask him, yet you stand there, blinking at him, still lost in the feeling of seeing him for the first time again.

“I actually wanted to contact you when I got back, but I wasn’t… I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about that,” he admits with a nervous chuckle and your eyes soften over him.

“What do you mean? I would have loved it if you called.”

“It’s just that we haven’t talked in a while and I didn’t know… I didn’t know where you’re standing about me.”

“Well, seems like fate did it for you,” you smile at him warmly. “I would love to catch up. I have to head back to work now, but maybe later?”

“What about after work? When are you getting off?”

“I finish at 5.”

“I can meet you at your work if you text me the address.”

“That would be great,” you nod smiling. “My number is still the same, so you’ll know it’s me.”

“Great,” he nods, the corners of his mouth curling up in a boyish smirk. You are just now realizing how much you’ve missed him.

“I, um…” You’re trying to find the right words, still feeling overwhelmed about the sudden run-in, but at last you decide to go for a hug.

Your arms wrap around his waist, he hesitates for a moment before wrapping you in his tight embrace, pressing his cheek against the top of your head. A shiver runs down your spine as the sense of home washes over you all at once, the warmth of Harry’s body making your heart flutter. Unfortunately, the moment must come to an end. His arms fall from around you, just like they did at the airport when you said goodbye to each other over a year ago.

“I’ll… see you later then,” he smiles as you are backing towards the entrance of the café.

“Yeah, later,” you nod and turning around you walk inside.

Arriving back to the office you drop by Jasmine’s office to tell her that you have to postpone your plans after work.

“What is more important than getting drunk with me?” she gasps dramatically.

“I ran into… I met Harry,” you tell her. You told her all about Harry one evening when you were out, just a few months into your stay. It was one of those days when you were feeling extremely homesick, or maybe you just missed him terribly.

“What? Your professor ex?” she asks with widened eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, you are forgiven. Go and get the man back!”

“What?” you chuckle. “We just met after a year, how do you know I want him back? Maybe I just want to catch up with him,” you say, but it’s an obvious and blatant lie and you both know that. Jasmine gives you a look.

“Please, you are still so obviously in love with the man, don’t even try to convince me otherwise.”

You don’t protest, just bite into your bottom lip. You really are in love with him, or the version you knew a year ago. He could be an entirely different person now so you can’t be sure if your feelings are the same about the man you met today.

“Have fun with him and then tell me all about it after, okay?” she beams and you just nod, leaving her to finish her work.

As time is slowly passing by you find yourself growing nervous about seeing Harry. That short little conversation on the street was not enough to calm your nerves. What is he like now? Is he the same? Does he have new hobbies? Is he as happy to see you as you are to see him? What will he think of you? What if he doesn’t like you after all this time?

You try to push the questions to the back of your mind, not wanting to overwhelm yourself too much to the point where you chicken out of seeing him. When you’re on your way down following his text that he is waiting for you in front of the building, you are trying to keep yourself together and remind yourself that it’s just Harry, he might be a little different, but he is still kind of the same.

Luckily, the moment you spot him waiting a few feet away from the entrance, you forget about everything else, he is the only one to exist. He envelopes you in a hug when you arrive, smiling at you warmly.

“Hi, ready to go?” he kindly asks and you nod.

You settle for a nearby bar you’ve actually been to with Jasmine before. Harry insists on paying for the first round of drinks as the two of you settle in a secluded booth at the back. When he is standing at the bar you catch yourself watching him in awe. The situation is quite odd, could have never happened probably back home, the two of you casually out for a drink.

“What’s gotten you so smiley?” he asks upon returning, sitting across you.

“I was just thinking how this is the first time we are out, just the two of us.”

Harry smiles softly, probably appreciating it just the same.

The next couple of hours you both try to share anything and everything that has happened in the past year. He tells you about his last year as a professor and him not extending his contact. Coming back to London he has joined a research group for a marketing company, using his excellent knowledge to analyze human behavior in connection with different type of ads.

“It’s a lot different from being a college professor ain’t it?” you tease him and he nods chuckling.

“Guess I wanted some change. But it’s been nice, I enjoy doing a lot of research and experiments.”

Then you tell him about your time as a forensic document examiner, all the different cases you worked on and how it has been, living in London on your own. He listens to your tales about everything you’ve done with Jasmine, the concerts and karaoke bars you’ve been to and just generally your life overseas.

“Sounds like you’ve found your place, then,” he says smiling softly.

“I guess. Wasn’t an easy transition, but I’m feeling good now,” you nod. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss my past,” you add.

His eyes wander down to your hands that are fidgeting with your almost empty glass. You see how they stop over the ring and he seems surprised as he reaches out, takes your hand in his and runs his thumb over the little strawberries.

“You’re still wearing the ring,” he states.

“Of course,” you smile and when he is about to let go of your hand, you grab it and hold it, needing to feel his touch.

You wanted to run back home so many times because you were missing him too badly, missed his voice, his eyes, his touch, everything and now, out of nowhere, he is here with you again, far away from the place where it all started and had to end for a while, still making you feel like home, no matter where you are.

At one point, you move to sit beside him in the booth. You just keep sharing and sharing even things you’ve talked about on the phone before. You’re just soaking each other in. His arm soon moves around your shoulders and you gladly lean into his side, placing a hand to his thigh, sparkles running through your body.

“I love this,” you hum to yourself upon finishing your last drink.

“Love what?”

“Being out with you without a worry. I always dreamt of this and it’s just… so natural. I wish we got to experience it before.”

“As you said, that was a wrong time and place. Wasn’t our fault.”

You lift your head, eyes meeting his curious green irises as he smiles down at you kindly. You’ve missed that smile, it still makes your heart skip a beat, just like at the beginning.

“And do you think it’s the right time and place now?” you prompt the question.

“It’s definitely… better,” he chuckles softly. “Unless you are seeing someone, because now would be the best time to tell me.”

“I’m not,” you shake your head smirking. “Tried to go on dates, but truth is… none of them were you. I gave up after a few terrible attempts.”

“I didn’t even try,” he shyly smiles. “I just… knew no one would make me as happy as you did. As you always do.”

Pushing yourself up a bit, you rest your forehead against his as he closes his eyes, his arm around your shoulder tightens and his other hand rests on your thigh, pulling you closer. Your palm slides up his chest and neck until you’re cupping his cheek. You place a soft lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth, testing the waters out, seeing how he reacts though nothing that happened tonight tells you he wants to keep his distance.

He moves his face, nose nudging against you before his lips find yours in a kiss you’ve been longing for since you left him behind at the airport over a year ago. Your fingers lace through his hair, pulling him towards you as if he could escape from your hold any moment, but he is definitely here to stay. Your lips clash again and again, savoring each other, eagerly trying to make up for the time you lost since your departure. You melt into his arms, moving your legs across his lap as he pulls you to his lap in the booth, partially hidden from the rest of the bar, wrapped up in your little bubble. He tastes like home, his kisses feel like the first warm rays of sunshine after a long and cold winter, the only thing you couldn’t really get yourself over this whole year. Because you’ve become good at pushing your feelings down to the point where you could easily carry on, but he was always in the corner of your mind, making you wonder if you’ll ever meet again and if you do, will it be the same as before?

It’s not, because it’s better. The burdens and banters that tied you both down a year ago are now long gone, you have all the time and space in the world, nothing is restricting you. You can touch him and kiss him whenever and wherever you want. There’s no more sneaking around, no one here knows who you are and who Harry used to me to you. Here, you’re just another lovesick couple, so into each other it’s almost insane.

When he pulls back his forehead stays rested against yours as you both are trying to catch your breath. His hand runs up and down your thigh, the warmth of his palm melting your body under his soft touch.

“I love you,” he breathes out, eyes meeting yours.

“You still do?” you ask with a small smile, heart beating in your throat.

“I never stopped loving you,” he admits and you let out a shaky breath, pulling him down for a short kiss.

“Not even when I was an ocean away from you?”

“No,” he chuckles shaking his head. “If that’s possible, I loved you even more when you were away. I realized how much you mean to me and I could only hope you weren’t moving on without me.”

“I could never,” you smile at him softly. “I love you too much to do that.”

“You have no idea how much I missed you say that,” he breathes out with a soft chuckle and you kiss his lips shortly, assuring him that you feel the same way. “So… are we going to try again?”

“Do you want to?”

“There’s nothing I want more, baby,” he truthfully admits, his gaze softening at you as he brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Do you want to?”

“Of course,” you smile at him widely. “I think it’s settled.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry style fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles au #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #professor!harry #professor!harry au #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst

1K notes · View notes

jenomark · 3 years

Text

➔Pairing: Hendery x Reader (Female) ➔Other Members/ Characters: Kun + Lucas ➔Genre: Smut (with a plot!) ➔Warnings: Mentions of blood + Vaginal penetration (briefly), Oral (both M + F) ➔Word count: 2,769

➔Summary: Kun has a plan to get you and Hendery to work out your differences, but Kun's plan doesn't quite work out the way he thinks it will. 😉

Anon Request: enemies to lovers hendery smut?? thank you !! any scenario 🤎

You and Hendery watched as Kun brought out two chairs into the middle of the floor to face each other. Hendery's scowl matched yours, which made you even more irritated that any part of you could relate to him.

"I don't see how this will help. It-" Hendery began, but he was cut off by Kun's terse, "-Shh!"

The scraping of the chairs stopped. Kun leaned on the back of one of them and looked at you before looking at Hendery. He said, "I'm tired of this. We are all tired of this. Both of you have more in common than you think."

"We don't." you said, a little too childishly.

Kun narrowed his eyes, which made you fall quiet. "Sit down and work it out," he said, before walking out and slamming the door shut behind him.

"I'm not sitting down." Hendery said. “He can’t make me sit down.”

You were already sitting in the chair, but since Hendery spoke, you wanted to get up and resist along with him. Hendery paced around the room, looking more annoyed than ever. So, you stayed seated because you didn't want to be like him.

"I don't know what he wants us to do." Hendery said. "I have no problem with you. I just don't want to be around you."

"Likewise." you said.

"I didn't ask what you though, did I?"

You rolled your eyes. "Here we go."

"No," Hendery said. He leaned on the back of the free chair like Kun had. "You've had a problem with me since I first met you. I want to know why. It's because I'm so handsome, right?"

"Oh, please."

There was a banging on the front door. Kun's voice rang out. He was letting out a whole series of curse words followed by a bunch of angry grunts. Hendery cursed back and sat down in the chair with a huff.

"We will never see eye-to-eye," he said. "And that is okay. If it's okay for us, it should be okay for them."

"I agree." you said, crossing your legs.

Things were silent. Hendery looked at your legs where your skirt was riding up your thigh. You uncrossed your legs and pulled your skirt down. The way you looked at him in disgust made him smirk, which made you want to strangle him. In fact, you were gearing up for another argument when Lucas burst through the door with his finger pointing at both of you.

"You and you." he said. "Just sleep with each other already."

"What?" you and Hendery both said at the same time.

Lucas dropped his finger. "Just fuck. You know, make love, or, in your case, war. The sexual tension is too thick, man, I can't live here with you both like this."

With that speech, Lucas turned on his heel and left. Though, he didn't slam the door like Kun had.

Shock rippled throughout the room. You and Hendery both stared at each other from your chairs, his eyes wide, and your eyes sizing him up. Truthfully, you had wondered what it would be like to take out the aggression you felt for Hendery on his body. You had even dreamed about what it would be like once.

"Can you believe him?" Hendery said, trying to keep his voice from breaking. "Us? Fuck? When hell freezes over, I think."

But Hendery wasn't immune to the way you were looking at him. Underneath your hot gaze, he began to feel a little warm underneath the collar. He couldn't stop staring at your legs, thinking about your thighs crushing his head while you sat on his face.

Without speaking, you withdrew yourself from the chair and got down on the floor. Your knees hurt crawling your way towards him, but nothing hurts quite like your pride. You would have never imagined crawling to Hendery like that but, somehow, it felt right.

"Not a word." you said, your eyes boring into his. "If you act smug, I will bite down on your dick so hard you'll be pissing blood for weeks."

"Ouch." Hendery winced, covering himself.

You stopped before him, your hands reaching out to touch him. Hendery moved fast, unzipping his jeans and pulling them down for you. He was hesitant for you to see his cock but, when he saw that you were trying not to laugh, he bared himself for you to see.

"Don't laugh at me," he said.

"I'm not laughing." you said, smiling.

You took his cock in your hands and watched him grow. He reacted like he hadn't been touched in years, which did make you laugh. Hendery moaned and bit down on his lips to stop the further humiliation. You stroked him and tasted him. You were trying your best not to think about how much you hated him. Having that control over him made you feel powerful, made it easier for you to suck him off.

"This is...an... unexpected.." Hendery breathed, closing his fists tight as you bobbed up and down his cock. "..event...oh god."

"You cannot be serious." you said.

Hendery came so soon, his cum gushing out of his tip. You didn't swallow him, just let him spill himself onto his pants. The noise he made was inhuman, and it ground you right to your spot on the floor. You watched him, holding his cock upward so he came on his shirt, instead, and trying not to admit to yourself that you ached for him to be inside of you.

When he finished and was through cleaning himself up, you both acted like nothing had happened. Hendery looked at you from across the room, the wet rag moving up and down his stomach. You shrugged and moved the chairs back where they were, ignoring how swollen and aroused your clit was.

Kun thought he had done something. Whenever you and Hendery were around each other, the bickering had lessened. Kun didn’t know that behind his back, Hendery was pushing his tongue into his cheek and staring at you. Mimicking a blowjob was childish, but Hendery didn’t have to know that you went home at night and masturbated to the very thought of him doing that.

Kun also didn’t know that, whenever he and the rest of the guys went out, you would sneak to Hendery’s room and fuck with him. Or rather, you would sit on Hendery’s face like a throne and have him eat you out until he couldn’t breathe.

“When will you let me fuck you?” Hendery asked, looking up at you from between your thighs.

You let your weight fall down onto his face and rubbed yourself against his lips and nose so he would stop talking. It’s not that you didn’t want him to fuck you senseless, just that having him penetrate you felt a little too real. You felt it also brought about the realization that you liked being in his company more than you thought.

After coming all over his face and having him beg you to do it again, you laid in his bed. “This isn’t a compliment,” you said. “but you’re not half bad.”

“I know.”

You narrowed your eyes. “I said it wasn’t a compliment. You don’t have to be so smug about it.”

He held up his hands. “All I’m saying is, you scream more when you’re sitting on my face than you do when you’re not, and for that, I think, is the highest compliment.”

You pulled his covers over yourself until they were covering your naked body. “I really hate you.”

“And yet you’re still in my bed.”

Before you could respond with a not-so-clever retort, Hendery went underneath the covers and started eating you out again.

It was getting a little too comical, you and Hendery’s situationship. You were both sure that none of the guys knew what was going on, even if Lucas occasionally shot you curious looks whenever you were together. Hiding was difficult and resulted in someone getting half dressed and running from his dorm room, as if everything were perfectly normal. To make sure everything seemed up to standard, you and Hendery would stage fights now and again. In reality, those fights got you both hot and bothered enough to slip into whatever place you could and either get fingerbanged or something else that left your legs weak.

What made it truly funny was that you began to grow feelings faster than Hendery grew his erection. Underneath all of his self-congratulatory ways, Hendery was actually fun to be around. You would often stay in his bed for hours just watching videos on his phone in between pleasing and teasing his body. He lasted much longer in bed as more time passed, and the vulnerability that you seemed so scared of in the beginning also made things more exciting.

Kun slammed down a bottle of soda to break you out of your reverie. The party around you zoomed back to life the moment he spoke. You watched Hendery talk to a girl across the room. Though he stole glances back at you, the jealousy was rearing its ugly head.

“Are you okay?” Kun asked. “You seem...off.”

“I’m good.” you said. “I’m great.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Can’t you see, Kun?” Lucas came up behind Kun and stole the soda from him. He drank a long, sweet gulp. “She is in love with Hendery. I knew that it was only a matter of time.”

“Yeah, right.” you said, trying your best to disguise the lie. “I would rather stay single for the rest of my life than ever touch someone like him.”

When Kun and Lucas didn’t reply, you looked at both of them. Kun looked as if he were going to say something but thought better of it. Lucas smiled. For the first time, you felt like you could pity yourself.

“I’m going outside to get fresh air.” you said, excusing yourself.

You walked through the room and felt Hendery’s eyes on you. You could feel him following behind you. When you made it outside and turned around, he was right there.

“Having fun?” you asked. “I’m sure that girl was having the best time.”

“Are you jealous of her?” he asked. “Please tell me yes. It would inflate my ego so much.”

“No.” you said flatly.

“But you’re not denying it.” he said. “Interesting.”

If you had answered him, you weren’t sure he would like what you had to say. Rather than face all of that, you decided to walk away. But Hendery pulled you back. You expected some joke, some kind of puffed up version of himself, but the man you were met with was the same man you met behind closed doors.

“Don’t leave,” he said. “Talk to me.”

“Talking never works out in our favor.” you said, pulling your wrist away from him.

“It helped once.” he said, smiling at the memory of you crawling towards him. When he saw that you didn’t smile back, his face changed. “I’m not the enemy, you know that.”

You wracked your brain for something incredible to say, but all that came out was a lame little. “Yeah, I guess.”

Hendery took a step towards you and looked at your lips. Throughout all of your bedroom excursions, you had never kissed each other on the mouth. His mouth had been all over your body, but never your lips. He touched his thumb to your bottom lip, but it was you who pushed your way into the kiss.

“Wow.” Hendery said, pulling a part. He kept his eyes closed. “That definitely tastes better than-”

You pushed him back and went to kiss him again. This time, with a little tongue that made him moan in approval. You felt that kiss in your whole body, right down to your toes.

“What if I just went upstairs and told everyone they needed to leave right now.” Hendery said.

“You don’t live alone. “ you reminded him.

He groaned. “I’ll pull the building's fire alarm if I have to. “

“I didn’t even agree that I was going to sleep with you.” you said, resisting the urge to cross your arms over your chest.

“You didn’t have to.” Hendery whispered.

Hendery took your arm and pulled you upstairs. He kicked open the door to the apartment so forcefully that everyone looked in his direction. You covered your face in embarrassment. If you met eyes with Kun or Lucas, you didn’t think you would ever fully recover.

“Alright.” Hendery called out. “Party is over. It’s time to leave. Everyone, please make your way out in an orderly fashion, thank you.”

When no one moved, you hid behind Hendery because you could feel him gearing up to say something incredibly inappropriate. But, instead, it was Lucas who spoke.

“You heard the man.” Lucas said. “Party continues at the bar down the street. Drinks on me. Let’s go!”

The crowd cheered and followed Lucas. Before he left through the front door, Lucas winked at you. Everyone filed out in a conga line, yelling raucously and completely ignoring you and Hendery standing there.

Kun stopped before he walked out. “I’m glad you both are working out your differences.”

“We’re working out something.” Hendery said, grabbing Kun’s shoulder and pushing him through the door. He shut it behind him and faced you, all of the humor gone from his face, replaced with a pallor that made him look ill.

“I hate you.” you said, but there was no hate in your voice whatsoever.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Hendery said.

You kissed him and brought color back to his cheeks. Rather than stripping him of his clothes and immediately going for his cock, you took things slow. It felt nice to be in his arms. Different, but very nice. You held each other and made out, things getting hotter and heavier as time passed.

“I’m done playing.” Hendery said.

He took you into his bedroom where he sat you down on his bed. Before you, he started dancing and taking off his clothes in a way that made you laugh so hard your stomach hurt.

“Done playing, huh?” you asked.

He took his t-shirt and brought it around your neck. You could feel the heat from his stomach being so close to you. You kissed his skin and looked up at him. You didn’t know when exactly it had happened, when Hendery had become a lover rather than an enemy. You certainly didn’t know when he had become your best friend.

“Yeah.” he said, pushing you back down onto the bed. “I think so.”

Just like that, the energy in the room changed. His kisses were deeper and more sensual. He had stopped the strip tease and had straddled you, his hands roaming up and down your body. It was difficult for you to focus on one thing. Your sexual encounters were usually full of him narrating exactly what he was going to do, but the Hendery on top of you kept you on your toes. He pulled down the top of your dress to expose your cleavage and let his tongue roam free. You let his hands move underneath your dress, pulling it up to reveal your underwear.

“Why does this feel so different?” he asked, looking down at you with his dark eyes.

For a moment, you thought he was talking about your body. You were quiet, not knowing how to answer, though you knew what he meant. When he removed your dress and slowly unhooked your bra and brought your panties down past your ankles, he realized with a shock what you had known all along.

“Oh, I like you a lot.” he said. “I’m an idiot.”

“You won’t find me disagreeing.” you said, sucking in when you felt his lips on your stomach.

“I didn’t ask you though, did I?” he asked, transporting you both back to the very first time you were intimate with each other.

“Maybe you should.” you said. “Maybe you should ask me what I want.”

Hendery stripped himself naked like his life depended on it. He was erect, his eyes full of emotion. “What do you want then?”

“I want you.” you said. “As miserable as you are. As wild as you are. As much as you annoy me, Hendery, I want you.”

Hendery pushed your legs until your knees were in the air. You breathed in deeply and looked up at him. He touched your pussy, his eyes still on you as his fingers brushed against you. “You have me.” he said, before plunging deep inside of you.

#hendery #nct #hendery smut #nct smut #wayv #wayv smut #wong kunhang #nct hendery smut #nct fanfic #hendery fanfic #hendery smut fanfic #nct smut fanfic

159 notes · View notes

angry-geese · 3 years

Text

Lemon Boy

Risotto Nero x Reader

Warnings: sfw. a little angsty but not really, lots of fluff. Kinda suggestive (if you squint???) Fem!reader

Notes: this is a sequel to two previous posts of mine. This is just a fluff drabble where the reader gets pregnant with Risotto's child

part one- nsfw, part two- sfw

It would take him another year to admit he wanted a second one.

By then he had adjusted to your normal. You got a raise at work, allowing him to stay home. Civilian life wasn't for him. Becoming a stay-at-home dad was much easier than trying to blend in with society, he found. While he felt guilty for leaving you to deal with all the bills, you told him not to worry about it. He kept the house tidy, made sure everyone was fed, and took Maria to school and her sports practices. She was turning out to be quite the little athlete. She almost had too much energy for him. He often found it hard to keep up. You weren't *not* trying for another. You weren't going out of your way for it, but if it happened; it happened.

The other stay-at-home mothers and housewives in your neighborhood would practically adopt Risotto. He was accepted into their groups- and subsequently their gossip- with open arms. They would protect him if police ever bothered him, and in return he became the neighborhood's handyman. Strangely enough, this was where he fit in best.

He couldn't keep his hands off of you.

It wasn't in a sexual way- though that was certainly the case too- Risotto always had to have an arm around you. He constantly needed his hands laced over your stomach, or his body pressing into yours from behind. At times his presence was suffocating, but you knew this was coming from a good place. It was force of habit. You getting pregnant only made him look over his shoulder more. Not many people would touch you before- at times you were frightening- but Risotto only added to that. Nobody in the PTA wanted to fuck with either of you. If he wasn't protective enough of you before, he certainly was now. Anyone who so much as looked at you the wrong way got a death stare. He'd wrap you up in his arms when people would try to touch your belly in public, not letting them near you. Sometimes he found himself spiraling into his old habits as he plotted the death of people who pissed you off. You wouldn't notice that creepy customer at your job going missing, would you?

You would go on maternity leave about a month or so before your due date. Being on your feet all day was getting nearly impossible as your walk became more of a waddle. Pregnancy to you wasn't some magical thing everyone your mother's age chalked it up to be. You were nauseous 90% of the time. You were constantly bloated and sick feeling, with spider veins popping up on your legs. If your second pregnancy had been your first, Maria would be an only child. Risotto never minded. He still found it hard to believe that there was something in there. And it was his. He looked at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. Because to him you were.

Maria would curl up next to you and not quite understand why your stomach would sometimes kick her. The other one wasn't even born yet and they're already fighting. You know you won't have a nice, quiet house for much longer. And the two of you are fine with that. If your youngest is anything like their sister, you'll have your hands full. Risotto's headstrong nature with your stubbornness is a deadly combination.

But he wants a big family and the loud house that comes with it.

Every night he has to have his arms around you or else he can't sleep; even as the summer months arrive, and it becomes far too hot to cuddle. You've learned to stop scooting away since he'll always pull you back to him. Every night he would pull you into his arms, running his hands over the growing bump of your stomach.

One night he pulls you extra close. The nightmares haven't stopped, he's only quit reacting to them. Waking up next to you grounds him in reality. He distracts himself with housework, or decorating the nursery. You settled on a shade of lilac for the walls. In the crib- which was painted a pale blue- was filled with strange stuffed toys. There was a cat, a fish, an ice gremlin, and some purple monster with a lot of eyes. "I'm only giving them options" you'd say. An old, ornate mirror pulled from your old home was hung up. It was a wedding gift from Prosciutto, and likely the most expensive thing you owned at the time. "They'd need one when they're older" you'd reason.

You can't seem to sleep either. Risotto rolls over in bed to face you. Instinctively you brush the stray hairs out of his face.

"Have any names picked out?" He asks.

Though you had planned this long before he even agreed to it, names weren't something you'd given much thought.

"I do. I know it's really strange to name them after food but," you don't even have to finish the sentence for him to know where you're going with this, "how about Prosciutto, or Pesci? Or Ghiacco, Melone..."

Formaggio, Illuso, Sorbet, Gelato...

He only nods. He'd never admit it, but your old squad was his family. Back then, neither of you would dare to say such a thing. At the time they were only strangers forced into the same fate. Your teammates were never meant to be family. Losing them sent him spiraling into a pit he's still recovering from. You go on in their memory because they would bully the hell out of you for stopping to feel sorry for yourself. If they were still alive, your children would be the two most well protected kids on earth. They'd have eight uncles all willing to kill for them.

"What if they're a girl?" He asks.

"It's a boy."

The way you say it with such certainty makes him laugh, the noise coming from deep in his chest. He nuzzles into the crook of your neck.

While you were waiting until they were born to find out the gender, you had the sneaking suspicion they were going to be a boy. Maybe your mother pointed out that one of your breasts hung lower than the other- while absolutely uncalled for- meant they were a boy.

Eventually you would settle on what Risotto's name was before he joined Passione: Dante. Nobody called him that- not even you. Just as he rarely called you by your birth name. He wouldn't even speak it, writing it down for you when asked. That was not who either of you were anymore. The old versions of you died when you were assigned to the hitman team.

You would go into labor a week early. To no one's surprise, you would have a son. A healthy- albeit small- boy with a tuft of silver hair. The moment you're allowed to, you pass him off to his father. It's clear Risotto has no clue what he's doing, but he looks at your son like he's the most precious thing in the world. He's so tiny compared to him. He kind of looks like an old man... But Risotto won't tell you that.

You'd be released from the hospital a few days later.

Sometimes you wonder if your children will grow up to be stand users. They have to be- both their parents are. You had little understanding of how- or why- you had a stand, only gaining yours after being shot with a bow of all things. It was sort of a promise you made to yourself to never use yours. You were keeping yourself out of trouble, as tempting as it was to start it.

You hadn't seen Metallica in years. You missed the days when you could embarrass Risotto by calling them cute.

Dante wasn't a quiet child. For seemingly no reason, he would scream until he exhausted himself. Only then would he sleep. Lucky for you, Maria could sleep through anything, so she wasn't bothered by him. You brought him to doctors but they would all tell you this was normal. He was eating, gaining weight, and growing as a child should. There was nothing they could do for you.

Most nights Risotto would get up for the baby. He told you it was so you'd heal faster, and that if Dante needed to eat he'd bring him to you. But you didn't buy it. Risotto was still over the moon that something so little was his. Speaking from experience, he wouldn't be tiny for very long. Maria was nearly able to look you in the eye and that is far too much power for a six-year-old to have. You weren't even that short, she was tall; it didn't help that your husband was nearly a foot taller than you.

There's enough light in the room to make out Risotto's large figure and the bundle of blankets in his arms. Metallica's writhing form is visible in the reflection of Dante's eyes. His pudgy hand outstretched, grabbing onto the Metallica beans, trying to catch them.

Not only was your child loud, but he was a stand user too. And you had the sneaking suspicion he wasn't the only one.

Good luck. You're going to have your hands full.

#jjba #jjba x reader #jojo's bizarre adventure #vento aureo #golden wind #risotto nero #risotto nero x reader #risotto x reader #jojo part 5

71 notes · View notes

raindancer2004 · 4 years

Text

Vacation on Isle Esme

Word Count: 7,710 Demetri x OC Part 5. Warning: Fluff, Angst, NSFW

Alyssa woke up in Demetri’s arms “Morning cara, sleep well?” “Mmm. Did you?” “I did” He answered playing along “When I hold you in my arms at night listening to your steady heartbeat I feel so relaxed and if I close my eyes it’s almost like I’m sleeping” He kisses her forehead “Can I ask you a question Dem?” “Of course, you can ask me anything” He replied softy “How come you never mentioned before that you had a Mr Grey thing going on?” “It’s not something you tell people when you first meet them nor is it first date conversation cara” He answered holding her closer “I wanted to tell you sooner but I didn’t know if you’d like that kinda of thing, being that you hadn’t been with anyone before. However, after we started reading the 50 Shades of Grey books and you seemed to like them I figured I’d bring the subject up” “I’m glad you did and that you trusted me…wanted to share that part of your life with me” She rested a hand on his cheek. “I’ve never shared that part of my life with anyone before Ally” He rested his forehead against hers “Really? But you’ve had lovers over the years” He chuckled “Yes, but only a few and to be honest it’s only over the last few decades that I’ve taken an interest in that stuff but I didn’t want to explore that with anyone… but my mate” She kissed him and ran her fingers through his hair “Thank you cara mia for trusting me enough to want to explore that with me; you know that you’ll always be safe with me” He kissed her back “I’ve always felt safe with you and I enjoyed the other night with you. I also enjoyed the striptease you did for me last night” She winked and smiled at him lovingly “I love you Demi” She kissed him “I’ll bear that in mind for the future and I love you too Ally” He kissed her holding her closer.

Alyssa took a walk to the main library whilst Demetri was on Guard Duty passing some of the lower guards along the way “Ally” They greeted and nodded at her “Hello” She replied curious how they knew who she is. She heard a commotion and stopped only for a blonde haired Guard dressed in light grey to land near her feet “Sorry Ally” He smiled at her before running back towards a dark haired Guard dressed in the same colour clothes, their ‘fight’ continuing once Ally passed them. Ally arrived at the main library to find Alec and Santiago already there “Good morning Ally” “Morning Santiago, Alec” Ally replied taking a seat opposite them “Fancy playing a game tonight?” Santiago asked “As long as Heidi isn’t playing, don’t really want the drama” Ally replied “We’re going to play some card games; Old Maid and Go Fish…” Ally started to laugh “Don’t laugh Ally Felix chose the games as there’s no money involved and no Heidi won’t be playing; just us three plus Demetri, Felix and Jane” Santiago responded “Sounds good and I’m in” Ally said smiling.

Later that night they all gathered in Felix’s room and sat down to play cards. They played Old Maid first and the first game was won by Alec, the second by Jane; Ally won the next three games “Oh my god. Is there any game you’re not good at Ally?” Felix asked “Sorry BFV but this human can’t help being awesome” Ally sings the last word smiling; Demetri has a smug look on his face watching his friends get beat by Ally. Ally went on to win 4 out the 7 rounds of Go Fish before Felix decided he didn’t want to play cards with Ally anymore that night “You being a sore loser Fe?” Demetri teased as Felix left the room “Get lost D” Felix mumbled.

Once back in their room Alyssa and Demetri got ready for bed “Hey Dem, can I tell you a secret?” “Of course you can” “Ok, so you know how I’m a shield like Bella because psychic gifts don’t work on me?” “Yes Ally, please don’t remind me that I can’t track you” Demetri said quietly “Well there’s a reason I’m so good at Poker and other card games…” “What you count cards or something” Demetri interrupted chuckling “Or something…I’m able to read minds a bit too in a way…” Demetri’s mouth fell open in shock “Don’t worry Dem I’m not like Edward, I respect people’s privacy” She continued “Yeah you just use your gift when playing games…babe that could be seen as cheating” He whispered the last word before laughing; Ally shrugged “Think of it more as looking through their eyes; I get to see what they see. Oh and I discovered I can drop my shield at will…” He cut her off “Hang on. You’re telling me I can track you…if you let me?” “I love you” She said taking her bottom lip between her teeth and looking up at Demetri through her lashes; he stepped forward lifting her up and put her over his shoulder.

“On a scale of one to ten how much trouble am I in?” She asked “Ahh” Demetri smacked her ass as he left the closet, then dropped her gently on the bed and climbed on hovering over her when she suddenly felt something cold close around her wrist “Handcuffs? Really Dem” “Yes Ally. It’s called punishment” He winked “Count for me” “What…?” She was cut off when he smacked her ass “Oh Mr Volturi” She said playfully and winked at him; he chuckled softly “I said count Miss Swan” He said a little sternly and smacked her ass again “That’s two” She said softly; his hand made contact again “Three…Four…mmm Five” He could smell her arousal “You’re not supposed to be enjoying this Miss Swan” He growled low in her ear “This is your fault Mr Volturi. I mean how was I to know that being spanked would be a bit of a turn on” He rested his hands on her ass and began rubbing and gently squeezing her cheeks liking how they felt in his cold hands “Mmm” She felt her shorts being pulled down and braced herself for the spanking to re-start but was surprised when she felt him gently bite her ass cheek “Dem” “Six” His hand came down on her ass and he bit his lip to stop from chuckling “Seven...Ahh…Eight” He bit her again as the smell of her arousal hit him again; he gently turned her onto her side and slipped two fingers inside her, she bit her lip and he smirked “N-nine…Ahh” She gently lifted hips to try and gain some friction against his hand “Miss Swan” He growled low, eyes almost black “Sorry…Mr Volturi” Her eyes closed enjoying the punishment she was receiving “Ten” She breathed and he removed his fingers licking them; she whimpered at the loss on contact and felt him pull her shorts back up. He then crawled up to lay beside her and adjusted himself; picking up the book from his nightstand and begun reading to her

“What you’re…you’re not…are you just going to read to me whilst I’m still handcuffed?” He nodded and kissed her “Yes. I do not reward naughty girls” He winked at her again before rolling onto his side to look at her “I’m excited to see your gift at work cara but it’s a little mean you didn’t tell me sooner” “To be fair Dem I only just discovered I can drop my shield due to me practicing and I thought you’d be relieved to learn you can track me if I let my shield down. I thought you’d be upset about the mind reading thing or as you called it cheating” She replied “I am relieved I can track you, honestly” He kissed her lips “It’s just frustrating to know it’s on your terms that’s all” He rested his forehead against hers “Dem please don’t think of it like that. I can’t help being a shield” “I know Ally, but you need to promise me that we’ll test your shield dropping ability soon so I can try and track you. Once I have your tenor in my head tracking you in the future will be easier” He said stroking her face “One condition…you keep the mind reading to yourself” “Deal cara mia. It’s out little secret” He kissed her forehead “Please uncuff me I’d like to snuggle” She said looking into his ruby eyes; he nodded and uncuffed her and held her in his arms whilst she slept. ‘My gifted little human’ he thought proudly to himself.

A few days later Demetri and Alyssa were relaxing on the balcony watching the sunset “Do you ever wish you were human Demi?” “I used to centuries ago but I don’t really think about it much anymore. Why do you ask cara?” He asked curious “Our lives are simpler; for one, we don’t have to live in fear of losing our mate and being alone forever” She said holding his hand in hers “True, but humans do not have the ability to love each other so deeply, so unconditionally that there is no possible way, no words to describe just how that feels” He places his other hand on the side of her face, his thumb stroking her cheek and she nods. “Do you think we would still be mates if we were both human? I mean you’re over 1000 years old” She gives him a quick kiss on the lips and he nods “You are my mate, my other half. I promise you this… in a hundred different lifetimes, in a hundred different worlds, in any version of reality I would find you and choose you. I would claim you as mine as you were born to be with me, born to be mine … cara mia” He kisses her then rests his forehead to hers “If I had to walk to the ends of the earth just to find you Ally, to have you, to hold you in my arms then I would, without a second thought. I have waited so long for you mia amore and I love you more than I ever thought possible” He continued pulling her onto his lap and kissing her passionately, pouring his love, his need for her into that kiss “Wow” She breathed when he broke the kiss. “I know you’ve already agreed to spend forever with me, but please do me the honour of being my wife” Tears started to fill her eyes “Marry me…Ally” She nods “I love you too…Yes” She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him back; tears falling down her cheek, his arms wrapping around her holding her close. “Tomorrow I’m taking you shopping for a ring” He said smiling and peppering her face with kisses, causing her to giggle.

The following morning they went shopping for an engagement ring “You can have any ring you like mi amore, price is not an issue” He said low in her ear “But Dem…” She started “No Ally. I’m being serious. It’s only the best for my girl” He cut her off and captured her lips in a kiss, a hand resting on her cheek. “Come on” He led her into the jewellery store and over to the glass cases full of rings. They look at the many rings in the cases but one in particular caught Ally’s eye and her gaze kept going to back it; something Demetri noticed, he smiles “You like that one don’t you cara?” He says low in her ear “I do but…” “What did I say?” He cuts her off “I know but…” She starts but he cuts her off again and turns her to face him “I have been around for 1000 years and have amassed quite the fortune and I finally have someone to spoil and you….mi amore are starting to take the Fun.Out.Of.It” He smiles and taps her nose gently “O-Ok. I’m sorry, it’s just…I’m not used to being spoilt…and I-I cannot do so in return” She replies “Well, it’s something you’re just going to have to get used to Ally” He kissed her lips “You give me everything I need just by being with me...now, would you like to try on that ring” She nods and kisses him “Good girl” He purrs in her ear. She tried on the engagement ring that caught her eye; a Rose Gold band with a heart shaped diamond. “It’s beautiful” She whispered holding out her hand and admiring the ring “We’ll take it please” He said smiling to the store clerk.

They arrive back at the castle and head straight to the throne room to tell the three kings of their news “Good afternoon masters, we have some news we’d like to share with you” Demetri pauses to look down at Alyssa and takes her left hand in his “I proposed last night and Ally accepted. We’ve just got back from buying a ring” He finishes smiling; Aro claps his hands together “Wonderful news my dears. What a beautiful ring” “Thank you Aro” Ally replies “Congratulations Demetri, Ally, I wish you both a long and happy life together” Marcus adds “Yes congratulations to you both” Caius says smiling. “The wedding will be held here in the castle” Aro said excitedly “I’ll officiate” He added smiling “You can do that?” Ally asked “Oh yes my dear. I got a certificate online” Aro answered proudly; Ally looked at Demetri, who just nodded “Not sure why though brother, you haven’t married anyone since you got your little certificate” Caius said smirking “Well, it’s not like we can open up the castle for weddings now is it brother?” Aro replied a little irritated “Don’t ruin this for me Caius” “Ruin it for you? It’s their day brother not yours” Caius replied. “I’d love to get to married here in the castle” Ally said smiling “And it would be an honour to have Aro officiate” She added smiling; Aro gave Caius a smug smile. “I think we need to have Ally in here more often, seeing as she can stop your silly bickering before it begins” Marcus said smiling at Ally; she smiled in return but said nothing “We’ll take our leave, if we may masters?” Demetri asks “Of course. You have much to arrange” Aro said dismissing them.

“Hang on. You proposed without a ring? And she said yes?” Santiago asked when Demetri told him about the proposal that night whilst on duty “I didn’t plan on proposing without a ring, it-it just happened” Demetri replied “Wow! An accidental proposal…how romantic?” Santiago teases “It wasn’t accidental…I just got caught in the moment. I planned on buying a ring first, but you know what I’m glad that I proposed the way I did and that Ally got to choose her own ring” Demetri responded “I’m happy for you, she’s a great girl and you seem very happy together” Santiago patted him on the back “Thank you that means a lot.”

Meanwhile Jane was in Ally’s shared room having a girl’s night, Legally Blonde playing on the TV whilst painting their nails “Tell me about the proposal” Jane said excitedly “I’d asked him if he thought we’d be mates if he were human too, given the actual age difference and he said that I’m his mate, his other half and he promised that it didn’t matter what lifetime, world or reality we were in; he would always find me, always claim me as his” Jane’s eyes started to fill with venom “He told me he loved me more than he ever thought possible and asked me to do him the honour of being his wife. I started crying at that point” Ally continued; “Aww sweetie” Jane said wrapping her arms around Ally “That’ so romantic…I can’t wait to find my mate and have those kinds of moments” Jane smiled thinking about it. “Let me see the ring again” Jane says as takes Ally’s left hand in her own “It’s beautiful” “Thank you Jane. He took me ring shopping this morning and as soon as I saw the ring…” She trailed off tears filling her eyes “I know sweetie. It’s perfect” Jane pulls her back in for a hug.

A few days later Alice and Jasper arrive in Volterra for a surprise visit after Alice’s vision of Alyssa and Demetri’s wedding. “Hello Gianna, I’m Alice and this is my husband Jasper and we’re here to see Demetri and Alyssa” “Ciao Alice, Jasper. Take a seat please, I’ll them know you’re here” Gianna replies pointing to the seating area behind them. Gianna then made her way to the throne room knocking on the large doors. “Come in” Aro called out “Sorry for the interruption masters but Demetri and Alyssa have visitors waiting in reception for them” Gianna informed them. “Who are the visitors, my dear?” Aro asked “They said their names were Alice and Jasper master” Gianna replied. “Ahh splendid. Demetri you’re dismissed to greet your visitors” Aro said waving his hand in Demetri’s direction “Thank you master” He replied bowing his head.

Demetri made his way to reception to greet Alice and Jasper before leading them to his and Ally’s shared room “Hi Ally. Look who I found in reception” He said as he entered the room “Alice, Jasper” Ally called out as she got up from the desk to greet them with a hug. “Hi Ally. We’re here to help with the wedding plans” Alice says excitedly “I should have guessed” Demetri chuckled “Sorry Demetri but when Alice has a vision, especially one involving a wedding, it’s hard to rein her in” Jasper says laughing; placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Have you started planning yet?” “No Alice we haven’t, we’ve only been engaged a few days. But that’s why you’re here right?” Ally replies smiling. “Jasper and I can start looking at honeymoon destinations” Demetri said nodding at Jasper “Don’t worry about a honeymoon, it’s already taken care of” Jasper replies smiling; Demetri nods. “You and Jasper need to go suit shopping for you and your Groomsmen” Alice instructed them “Who are your groomsmen Dem?” Ally asked “To be honest I hadn’t really thought about it. Although I did plan to ask Felix to be Best Man as he is my best friend” Demetri replied “I’m sure Alice has seen who is standing beside me in her vision” He adds looking down at Alice “I have. You’re right about Felix being your Best Man and Alec and Jasper are your Groomsmen. So that is four grey suits with white shirts and four royal blue ties” She answers him smiling “For once I’m glad it’s not me who has to try and rein her in” Jasper says quietly; although Alice heard and stuck her tongue out at him.

“Have you thought about a dress or who your bridesmaids will be?” Alice asked and Ally shook her head tears filling her eyes, Demetri sped to her side and wrapped an arm around her “What’s wrong cara?” He asked “I just realised none of my family will be there on my…our special day” She rested her head against his chest letting the tears fall “Oh mi amore, I’m sorry I didn’t even think about that when I proposed” He held her close as he stroked her hair feeling guilty. “Ally?” Alice called quietly; resting her hand on Ally’s back “In my vision your mom was here celebrating with you” “R-really?” She sniffled “Yes. Let’s go speak to Aro and confirm that it’s ok to invite her” Alice replies. “Alice, you wait here with Ally and I’ll go and speak with him” Demetri says kissing the top of Ally’s head.

Demetri makes his way to the throne room “Masters may I have a quiet word please?” “Of course my dear boy” Aro replies motioning for him to approach them “How can we help you?” Caius asks “I have a favour to ask you. It’s for Ally really. As you are aware Ally and I are starting to plan the wedding and I was wondering if Ally is able to invite her family to the wedding?” He replies “When you say family, you mean her parents as Bella is not talking to her?” Marcus enquires. “Yes, master” Demetri replies “She can invite her parents to attend the wedding, but no other humans. It’s too risky” Caius replies softly “Thank you masters. I really appreciate it and I know that Ally will too” Demetri says smiling; he bows his head and then returns to his room to share the news with Ally. “That was nice of you Caius” Marcus says smiling at his brother “Well Ally deserves to be able share this day with her parents and it’ll give her a chance to say a proper goodbye too” Caius replies “You’ve got a soft spot for her, admit it” Marcus says sounding amused; Caius said nothing instead choosing to glare at the guards at the back of the room.

Demetri returns to his room to find Alice and Ally sitting on the bed making a to-do list “Ally, I spoke to the masters and you are allowed to invite your parents to our wedding but no other humans as it’s too risky” She climbs off the bed and runs to him wrapping her arms around his neck “Thank you Demi. You’re the best” She kisses him “I’m going to call dad before we send official invites as I’m unsure if he’ll come. The last time we spoke he kept going on about how I have to apologise to Bella. He refused to hear that it is actually her who owes me an apology” Alice, Jasper and Demetri look at sympathetically.

“Hi dad, it’s Ally. How are you and Sue?”

“Hi Ally. We’re ok thanks. You keeping well? Still liking Italy?”

“Yea I’m good. Loving being in Italy. Demetri is ok too dad, thanks for asking”

“Yea, well…Er good to hear. Although I don’t like the fact he has come between you and your sister”

“He hasn’t come between us. He’s a really great guy, loving, caring and funny. He has a really good job…”

“Well according to Bella he isn’t that nice of a guy”

“Bella only dislikes him because he and her precious Edward don’t always get along. I mean who gets along with their cousins 100% of the time. I remember when you used to dislike Edward. What changed?”

“I-I gave him another chance, he makes your sister happy…”

“Demetri makes me happy dad. In fact he makes me so happy I accepted his proposal”

“W-What you can’t get married, you’re 17”

“I can get married and I am. And anyways in Italy you’re classed as an adult at 16. I was ringing to invite to you and Sue to the wedding, before we send out official invitations”

“I-I don’t approve of the two of you being together, I mean I haven’t even met the guy”

“I didn’t think he’d be welcome in your house after the last conversation we had. I’m not even sure if I’d be welcome”

“Don’t be silly Ally, this will always be your home…”

“It won’t be as long as Demetri isn’t welcome” Her eyes became glassy as tears began to build up

“Have you spoken to your sister?”

“No. She owes Demetri and I an apology. Before you ask, no I won’t inviting her and Edward”

“Ally…Come on, she just worries about you”

“No she doesn’t. She only thinks about herself. She’s a hypocrite; who was there for her when Edward left her? Who helped pick up the pieces? Who supported her when she got back with him, even if I couldn’t forgive him for hurting her the way he did? Hm. ME! And don’t you think that she should have given Demi a chance before judging him?” She turns her back to the three vampires as tears start falling down her cheeks “Are you and Sue going to come to our wedding dad?” She asks softly; Demetri’s undead heart breaking listening to this call.

Charlie didn’t answer

“I’m going to take your silence as your refusal to come to our wedding? Hope you all have a lovely life without me in it!”

Ally hangs up the call and drops to the floor crying; Demetri ran to her and scooped up into his arms holding her close “Ssh…Sssh. I’m here cara. I’m so sorry” “D-don’t be. You-You’ve d-done n-nothing w-wrong” She replies sobbing; he tightens his hold on her “I love you so much Ally but this is breaking my heart to see you like this” “I-I love y-you too” She grips his shirt in her hands.

“Well look at this way Ally, when Aro asks for objections your dad and Bella won’t be here to do so” Jasper said trying to lighten the mood; Ally chuckled through her tears “T-true” She replied lifting her head from Demetri’s chest; his hands moving to her face, his thumbs wiping away the tears “Thank you” Demetri mouthed to Jasper “Anytime” Jasper mouthed back.

“I need to call mom and tell her about the wedding before dad does. Can you tell I’ve been crying?” “You look absolutely beautiful mi amore” Demetri answers wrapping her arm around her; Ally picked up the phone and called her mom hitting the Facetime button when she answers

“Hey mom”

“Hey Ally…and I’m guessing the good looking guy with you is Demetri”

“Mom” Ally blushed “Yes mom this is Demetri, Dem this is my mom Renee”

“Hello Renee. It’s nice to meet you”

“Likewise. So are you both ok?”

“Yes mom we’re both ok, you?”

“I’m good, missing you though”

“Well, that’s kind of why we’re calling. How would you like to come to Italy to see us and maybe stay for our wedding?”

“Come to Italy, I’d…” Renee cut herself off realising what Ally had said “AHH, oh my god! Y-you’re getting married?” Demetri, Ally, Jasper and Alice couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yes mom. Alice and Jasper are here helping with the planning” Renee put her hands together clearly excited

“Show me the ring” Ally did as she asked “Aww it’s beautiful. I’d say he has great taste, but I know that already as he’s dating you” Ally blushed again; Demetri chuckled.

“It’s easy to see where Ally gets her looks from” Demetri said smiling causing Renee to blush.

“T-thank you Demetri. Have you told your dad?”

“I did and he isn’t coming neither is Bella, but then I haven’t spoken to Bella in months. How soon can you get here mom?”

“The wedding will be about 6 weeks from now. Your official invite is being posted” Alice popped her head over Demetri’s shoulder.

“Hi Alice, ok thanks. God your father is so stubborn. Nevermind, I’ll be there. How soon would you like me to come out?”

“How about two weeks before, you can help with final preparations?” Alice replied.

“Sounds a like a plan. I’ll see you all soon. Love you”

“Love you too mom. Bye”

“Now that’s settled let’s start planning” Alice says excitedly, Jasper smiling at her “I hope you know what you’ve let yourself in for Demetri” Jasper says patting him on the back “I’m trusting you to rein her in if she gets carried away, after all it’s your wedding” “Thanks mate” Demetri replied patting Jasper’s back “I’m pretty sure Alice is to going to make her vision come true so no amount of reining her in will help” He added “It’s like you know my wife so well” Jasper replied laughing “Be nice you two. It’s nice of Alice to want to help” Ally said pointing her finger at the two them; both nodding in response.

Ally and Alice start making a list of guests to invite before going out to buy invitations. Ally chose Bronze coloured invitation with a silver pattern at the top and bottom “Do you think Dem will like them?” “Honestly Ally, guys don’t really care about that stuff, but as long you like them so will he” Alice replied “Wedding invitations – check” Ally said as she placed a tick on her to-do list.

That night whilst Ally slept Alice started to look at wedding dresses online “Alice I have a small request in regards to the dress…” Demetri is cut off by Alice “The dress is to be princess inspired due to her love of Disney princesses” “Another vision?” He asked and she nodded “Don’t worry Ally will look like a princess on the day” Alice smiled “Thank you Alice and don’t worry about the cost of the dress either, only the best for my girl” He replied looking at his mate asleep in their bed “Aww. Who would have thought the most dangerous vampire in the world is a big softie at heart?” Jasper teases lightly “Hey. Just because I’d do anything for her doesn’t mean I’m not still the most dangerous vampire in the world Jasper” He replies letting his eyes darken a little; Jasper holds his hands up in mock surrender.

The following day Ally asks Jane to be her Bridesmaid and Alice took on the role Maid of Honour due to her ability to plan events in spectacular fashion. “Jane I have something I need to ask you. You became my friend shortly after I met Dem and we have only become closer the more we got to know each other; I mean you’re my best friend and I want you to be my Bridesmaid” Jane’s eyes began to fill venom as a huge smile graced her lips “I’d love to be your Bridesmaid” She threw her arms around Ally pulling her into a hug “I assume Alice will be Maid of Honour as she is planning the wedding due to her visions” “Yes, I hope you don’t mind, but she is really good at planning events” Ally replied “I don’t mind, in fact I think it’s a great idea and I’m looking forward to helping her with the plans” Jane responded.

Alice spoke with Jane about holding the ceremony and reception in the Ballroom and telling her about her vision of how the room will be decorated on the day. “Sounds lovely Alice. It must be great to see how things will turn out before they happen” Jane says smiling.

Ally takes Gianna to the Wedding Cake tasting appointment as she is the only other human in the castle. After looking at different decoration designs and trying a few flavours Ally decides a white two-tier cake decorated with white fondant icing with blue and white flowers with a small crystal at the centre of each one. The bottom tier is Lemon flavour sponge with lemon curd and buttercream and the top tier is Vanilla flavour sponge with Jam and buttercream. “Gianna thank you for coming with me today” “That’s ok. I had fun, it was a good excuse to try all the different cakes” Both women chuckle “Gianna I’d like you to be my other Bridesmaid?” “You sure Ally?” “You’re my friend. Of course I’m sure” “Then I’d love to, thank you Ally” Gianna hugged Ally smiling.

Demetri, Alyssa, Felix and the twins met in Ally and Demetri’s room for book club “I’m glad Anna and Christian got back together and they got engaged” Jane said smiling “I like how they explored more of his lifestyle once they got back together but it was sad though when Christian went missing and they didn’t know where he was” Ally added “I like the drama between Elena, Anna and Christian and how it bought Anna and Christian closer” Alec said having enjoyed the book. “So D what’s your choice this month?” Felix asked “50 Shades Freed. Figured we’d finish the trilogy” Demetri answered smiling.

“Don’t forget family movie night this Friday and it’s Horror films all night for Halloween” Alec said as Jane and Felix got up to leave “Aro said costumes are a must” “Yes!” Felix smiled wide “You guys dress up for Halloween?” Ally asked “Yes amore. Aro found out about Halloween a few decades back and likes to celebrate it” Demetri replied “My costume is already sorted” He added “I best go shopping then” Ally said smiling.

The day before Halloween Caius overheard Ally telling Gianna that although she is too old to go trick or treating she still dressed up to give out candy to the kids who would knock at their house “We don’t get trick or treaters here” Gianna said low “That’s probably a good thing considering who’d answer the door” Ally laughed; Gianna nodding. Caius got the twins to go and buy Halloween candy and bowls and bring them back to him as a surprise for Ally. Ally joined the twins on the shopping trip although she shopped for a costume whilst they shopped for candy; deciding on Gummy Bears, Jelly Beans, Cherry Lips and Vampire Fangs. They chose a Jack-O-Lantern bowl and a Ghost bowl before meeting back up with Ally.

It was Halloween and the castle had been decorated with hanging Skeletons, Bats, Spider-Webs and Ghosts. Ally was amazed at how serious the Volturi took Halloween and how they managed to make the castle look so creepy. Demetri had told her he thinks Aro likes this holiday so much because it suits their kind rather well and they all enjoy dressing up to see who has the best costume.

Demetri got ready first and had chosen a Dark Hatter costume; a white high collar shirt with a white and black neck tie, black tuxedo jacket, grey waistcoat and dark grey trousers with grey and white top hat, paired with black shoes.

Ally bought a Mischievous Witch costume; a red mid-thigh length dress with black lace detail on each side and over the shoulders with matching black lace elbow length gloves. The costume came with a red pointed hat and a black broomstick with a red bow on top of the handle; Ally wore matching black stiletto knee high boots.

Demetri looked up from his book when he heard Ally’s footsteps as she left the closet; mouth falling open as she literally took his undead breath away. He sped over to her, his eyes roaming over her body “Beautiful” He took her hand and spun her around “You look sooo good, it’s a shame we have to go downstairs” He purred in her ear “We have time…” She trailed off and led him to the sofa “Take a seat. I’ll be right back” She ran to the closet and put a couple of ice cubes into a glass and made her way back to Demetri placing the glass on the floor. She parted his legs and knelt down in front of him leaning over to kiss him; her hands moving to unzip his trousers. He lifted himself up slightly and she pulled his trousers and boxers down freeing his growing erection.

“Close your eyes and relax Mr Volturi” She said low and watched as he did what she said, a smile on his lips. She wrapped her warm hand around him moving her hand up and down his length slowly; her thumb brushing over the tip. She placed an ice cube in her mouth for a few seconds before wrapping her lips around him; Demetri purred at the new sensation. She licked him from base to tip letting her tongue swirl around the tip; moving her head up and down his hard dick building to a steady rhythm, he thrust his hips forward his dick hitting the back of her throat “Mmm” He moaned and Ally removed her mouth from him “Behave Mr Volturi. Naughty boys don’t get rewarded” He growled but couldn’t help smiling down at her “Sorry Miss Swan” She nodded and resumed sucking and licking him; her hand pumping the base, she dragged her teeth over his length and felt him twitch inside her mouth “Oh…baby” He purred as she swallowed everything he gave her “Good boy” She winked at him as she went to stand “My turn” His eyes black with lust as grabbed her wrist “Afraid not or we’ll miss the film” She leant down and kissed him “Later then, Ally” They made their way downstairs for movie night joining Felix and the twins on the L-shaped sofa.

The next four weeks go by quickly as wedding plans get under way; Bridal gown fittings, Bridesmaid dress fittings, Groom and Groomsmen suit fittings, shoe shopping. Bouquets and flowers for the centrepieces were ordered by Jane on Alice’s instructions.

Felix and Santiago refreshed the cream painted walls of the Ballroom “Why are you two painting the Ballroom?” Heidi asked “Caius has asked that the room is freshened up ready for Demetri and Alyssa’s wedding” Santiago replied “Don’t see why, it’s a lot of work just for one day” She answers back “No one’s asking you to help are they Heidi?” Felix asked; Heidi huffed and walked away.

Alyssa and Gianna prepared a guest room for Renee’s stay ahead of her arrival. Renee arrived in Volterra two weeks before the wedding to help Ally and Alice with final preparations. It is also the first time Renee was meeting Demetri in person. “Hello Renee, it’s so nice to finally meet you” Demetri greets her at the airport “Hello Demetri, it’s nice to meet you too” They hug each other smiling before he takes her suitcase “Here let me” He leads her to his car “A Lamborghini. Very nice” She nods in approval “Thank you” He replies as he holds the door open for her ‘Mother like daughter’ he thought to himself smiling remembering Ally had the same reaction the first time she saw his car.

Once at the castle Demetri took Renee straight to her room where Ally was waiting “Guess who I found at the airport” He says as he holds the door open for Renee “Mom” Ally runs and embraces her “I’ve missed you” “Oh I’ve missed you too baby girl” Renee replies holding Ally in her arms, Demetri smiling at the two women “He’s so handsome. I totally approve” Renee whispers into Ally’s ear unaware that Demetri can hear her.

“Knock knock” Felix says as he enters Renee’s room “I hear Ally’s mum has arrived” He said smiling “Renee, this is my best friend and Best Man Felix. Felix this is Renee, Ally’s mom” Demetri introduces the two of them “It’s nice to meet you Renee” Felix smiles down at her “Likewise Felix” Renee smiles up at the large vampire “He’s huge” Renee mouths to Ally, who just shakes her head laughing.

The following day Demetri escorted Renee to the library on his way to the training room “I’ll leave you in peace read Renee” “Thank you Demetri”

Heidi entered the library a little while later and went straight for Renee “You smell so good, it’ll be a shame to waste such sweet smelling blood and it’ll be totally worth the trouble to see the heartbroken look on poor Ally’s face” Heidi says into Renee’s ear. Meanwhile, Marcus is walking towards the throne room when he hears a small scream and an accelerated heartbeat coming from the library and decides to investigate only to see that Heidi has a hand around Renee’s neck holding her to the wall; she dips her head down towards Renee’s neck when suddenly a snarl echoes through the room. Heidi is pulled backwards and hits the opposite wall as Marcus stands protectively in front of Renee staring Heidi down; her eyes are black and she has a scowl on her face “I’d consider your next move very carefully if I were you my dear” Marcus warns her. “Master, everything ok?” Felix asks entering the room “I heard a commotion…” He cuts himself off when he sees Marcus standing between a scared and confused Renee and a pissed off Heidi “No, Felix it is not. Please escort Heidi to the throne room, I will be there shortly” “Of course master” Felix bows his head and holds Heidi in a tight grip as they make their way to the throne room.

“Are you ok my dear” Marcus asks as he turns to face Renee “I-I think so. W-what was that about?” She asks, her voice sounding shaky. Marcus leads her to one of the sofas sitting beside her; explaining about vampires and his role as one of the three kings of the vampire world. “Some vampires have gifts; mine is that I am able to see the relationships or connections people have to one another. I lost my mate Didyme a very long time ago and have been on my own ever since. However, it would appear I am being given a second chance at love. I can see the connection between us as you are my mate Renee and I would very much like to spend the rest of eternity with you. I do not expect you to make a decision now as it’s a lot to take in. All I ask is that you think about what I have told you” He takes her hand in his “Of-of course Marcus. Please can you take me to Ally’s room?” He nodded and escorted her there before going to the throne room.

Once in the throne room Marcus holds out his hand to Aro and shows him what occurred in the library and that Rene is in fact his mate, his second chance at love; something that until now was unheard of in the vampire world. “Well it would seem that our dear brother has been blessed with a second mate after all these centuries alone” Aro said looking between his brothers “Who is it brother?” Caius asks curious “It’s Ally’s mom Renee” Aro replies smiling “Congratulations brother. I hope the two of you have a happy life together” Caius said smiling to Marcus.

Renee takes the night to let the information about vampires sink in; also thinking over what being the mate of a vampire king would be like. “Ally can we talk please?” Renee asks as she knocks on the open bedroom door “Of course mom. What did you want to talk about?” Ally replied “Vampires” Renee responds “I’ll leave you both to talk” Demetri says kissing Ally’s forehead and getting up to leave “No. Please. Stay” Renee says as she grabs his arm to stop him leaving “Ok. Take a seat” He replies closing the door and gesturing towards the sofas.

“What do you want to know mom?” Renee takes a deep breath “Marcus has explained that vampires exist and that the majority of them survive on human blood, but there are some that practice vegetarianism by surviving on animal blood. He said that he and his brothers Aro and Caius rule the vampire world and have done so for thousands of years. He also said that he lost his mate Didyme a very very long time ago…and…and that I am his mate. He-he has been given a second chance at love and wants me to accept him as my mate and spend forever with him” “Wow. I didn’t know vampires got a second chance of love” Ally said looking between Demetri and her mom “I’ve never heard of a vampire having a second mate; but then Marcus would be the one to know if your mom is his mate or not as that is his gift” Demetri added.

“I’m so confused; it’s a lot of information to process at once and I thought that maybe we could talk about it as you are with Demetri; who by the way is an elite guard to the Volturi and not a bodyguard of the Italian government” Renee said looking at Ally “It wasn’t a complete lie mom. The Volturi are the government of the vampire world and Demetri is Marcus’ bodyguard, it’s part of his duty as an elite guard. I told you the truth within a lie. Demetri was turned at 21 but is actually over 1000 years old” Ally replies holding his hand, Demetri smiles nodding “Wow. You’re ok with this Ally? Even the drinking human blood part” “I am mom. I love him and he loves me, he protects me. Honestly, him drinking human blood to survive doesn’t bother me; it’s just part of what makes Demetri Demetri, I mean we all have to survive somehow” Demetri smiles at her lovingly and gives her hand a gentle squeeze “I love you cara so much” “I love you too Demi”

“Renee if you accept Marcus as your mate he’ll make you immortal as I plan to do with Ally after the wedding; not only will Marcus love and protect you forever, you’ll also get to spend forever with your daughter and me” Demetri took Renee’s hand in his and smiled “Marcus is a kind and gentle person with a caring nature. He had already lost his mate long before I met him about 1000 years ago. A vampire’s heart breaks when they lose their mate and over time they become depressed and lonely. If Marcus has been given a second chance at love he is not going to let that go easily. He will fight for you Renee. Think about what you’ll gain rather than what you’ll lose” Demetri added, Renee nodded.

Renee stayed in Ally and Demetri’s room and thought about her conversations with Marcus, Demetri and Ally. ‘Although I have to give up my home, my friends, my entire life to be with Marcus; I do get to spend an eternity with him, with Ally and Demetri. I get to be with someone who’ll love me forever’ she thought to herself. Demetri smiled as he watched Ally and her mom talk and laugh about a range of things until they both fell asleep. ‘I hope Renee accepts Marcus as her mate as he will treat her so well and Ally will be so pleased to have her mom around forever too’ he thought to himself. Renee fell asleep still not having made a decision.

#demetri volturi #twlight #jane volturi #alec volturi #marcus volturi #aro volturi #caius volturi #felix volturi #volturi

75 notes · View notes

syndianites · 4 years

Text

The After; The Athar: Chapter Three

Chapter 3/?

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 [Here] - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5

AO3: This Chapter - Full Fic

Summary: Post Season 2, non-Mianitian Compliant. Wag escorts Martha to Jordan’s house and decides to have a day out with Sonja.

Relationships: Sparklington (end-game), Marthlington (temporarily), Sparkanite (Spark x Ianite) (past, mentioned), Motanite

Content Warnings: Death Mentions, Implied Depression, Implied PTSD, Self-Deprecation, Breaking up a Relationship (Marthlington)

AN: A good handful of these first chapters are going to be set up and exposition for later. I wanted to put some worldbuilding and character buildup with more than just Wag and Jordan because it’s nice and feels more fleshed out that way. This is more or less my version of a post-S2, maybe S3 fic, so I wanted to go ham on it.

——————————————————————————————

The trek home was much more light hearted. More dramatacisms about the flower, a joke about Wag’s weed quest here, and easy banter shared back and forth. Wag would like to think that Sonja looked more relaxed on the way back, like a weight fell off her shoulders.

But that was an ongoing battle. It would be some time before it really fell away.

Of course, halfway home Sonja dropped another bombshell.

“I think I’m going to break up with Tucker.” Sonja spoke up.

Wag tried not to visibly startle. No, he didn’t see this coming. Should he have? Maybe. Actually, he expected Tucker to be the one to end it, after the whole Shadow’s business.

And here Wag was, staring at her like a fish struggling to breathe.

She rolled her eyes at him. “Don’t look so surprised. It’s going to happen whether I bring it up or not.”

“Are you breaking up with him because you’re afraid he’s going to break up with you?” He was still trying to pick his jaw off the floor.

“Hmm.” Sonja considered this for a moment. “Yes, but also no. I’m not afraid he’s going to, I just have a strong feeling he will. At the very least, we’d need to take a break since all of-,” she gestures to herself vaguely, “-this happened. And, honestly?” Her head tilted to the side. “It’s probably for the best. I do love Tucker, and it will take some time to let those feelings simmer and fade if we do break up, but I think we’ve been… drifting from each other for a while.”

“What?” His eyes snapped back to hers. “Really?”

Sonja nodded. “This wasn’t our first fight. Or, well, falling out. Things were fine before we jumped into the void, but we didn’t agree with how to handle the new world. How to handle Ruxomar’s Mianite.”

Wag nodded slowly. He wouldn’t know the difference. If he was being honest, he didn’t really know the other heroes that well before Ruxomar happened. He was a wizard, tasked with building, magical in every sense, and he had his own squad. The most he had thought of Tucker and Sonja’s relationship was when he helped build their home.

She sighed. “Tucker was very intent on following that Mianite. Ever the devotee. Granted, Tom and Jordan were the same with their gods but theirs were… different? I guess? Ianite wasn’t around, to start, and Dianite was dead. But we always had an idea on Mianite.”

Her tail swished behind her and she grabbed it for a moment, running her hand down its length before letting go. “He was who all of Dagrun worshipped.” Her voice took on a darker tone. “Or were supposed to worship. Tucker only wanted to believe the best of Mianite. I wasn’t quite with it. We would fight, sometimes, about Mianite, or something he did, or what his effect on the town was. Then there was the Ianitas, there was Inertia, there was-” She took a breath. “There was a lot.”

Turning to look at Wag, she gave him a smile and a shrug. “It got a bit tense between us, for a while. Well, it has been tense. Things didn’t really cool off until we were floating aimlessly in the void, again, and we had time to think and talk it out.”

“So you think that with your whole Shadows business coming out you guys need some time apart? To let the tension simmer down?” It was starting to make some sense. Let time and distance see if the heart will grow fonder or if the mind will let go.

Or something like that.

“Kind of.” Sonja turned back towards their destination. “I just. I don’t know if after this we’ll be able to make it work anymore. And if we can’t I’d rather end it on good terms than, I don’t know, explosive, world shattering, terrible terms?”

“Basically, you still want to be friends if things don’t work out.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

They walked in silence after that. A comfortable one, but heavy nonetheless. Wag had a lot to think about. He was about to go through a break-up too. Should he say something? Ask her about it? Martha and him didn’t really have any rough, tense things that were breaking them apart. They hadn’t fought, or brought up dark, hard secrets. It was just a falling apart. They still loved each other.

There was just someone missing.

And there was nothing Wag could do to make up for that hole Steve had left.

He looked back at Sonja, who was casually thumbing one of the petals of the cornflower they’d picked out for Mianite. She was lost in thought, but there was a determined look in her eyes. She was moving in the right direction. Growing, letting change come through.

Wag wanted nothing more than to plant his feet in the ground and stay where everything was easy. Easier. But the world had other plans.

In the end, when they made it back home, Wag hadn’t said anything. There was a place inside him that was afraid of speaking his decision into words. Afraid that if he said he was going to break up with Martha that things would start to fall apart.

He sure hoped not.

---

Wag spent the rest of the day sorting out the flowers they’d found and parsing through potion orders. Most of what they’d picked were more natural- flowers, some vines, and a butt load of four leaf clovers. Which so happened to grow more frequently in the area they’d gone to.

He knew from experience.

The potion orders were easy enough to set up. He’d finished boxing and tagging all the luck potions- there were only three left to do- and scheduled a shipment time, which meant going to his mail cart and placing in a whole crate of them for the post office to deliver for them.

This area had a post office now, freshly installed around the time the town popped up. Convenient for wizards who didn’t get out much.

Then he organized the rest of his current potions in terms of difficulty- easy ones go first- and picked up any new orders from the mail.

Boring, boring, boring.

Once he’d set all of that up he took to his greenhouse. Tended to his plants. Checked on his latest crossbreeding project. It was still developing, but he checked each stage for weed-adjacent properties. None yet.

And then, silence. Nothing to do. He could eat, he could sleep, he could read until his eyes bled. Oh, wait. Scratch that. He could read until his eyes dried out.

He rolled said eyes at that train of thought. In reality, he was just going to go to sleep. The sun had just set, which was excuse enough for him. Sure, he could research his magic related issues, or his weed related quest, or something, but he’d done enough thinking today. Had enough problem sorting.

But as he laid down to sleep, clad in sweatpants and a simple gray shirt this time, he was wide awake.

There was an unsettled buzz humming beneath his skin. Something restless and worried. Things were changing faster than he wanted them to.

Sure, he could take a town forming, he could take new people showing up, he could take the Ruxomar people living here, all of that was fine. New things weren’t as hard to keep up with.

But the old things changing?

Seeing Sonja’s and Tucker’s relationship crumble, seeing Jerry’s Tree change, Mianite’s Temple change, being left behind by his fellow wizards. Everything to do with Martha. It was like life was starting to move on without him, and Wag was still left knee deep in everything that had happened. The past was clinging to him, dragging him down, stopping him from reaching into the future, practically tearing him from the present.

How long until he didn’t recognize the people around him? How long until they grew so far from him that he really became just some random guy making potions in a tower? Would people care? Would they think back and wonder what happened to him?

It hurt to think about. If Wag had his way, he’d banish the thoughts from his head forever, but things have a strange way of crawling back when you don’t want to think about them. Still, it was a struggle. Everything felt like it was moving too fast, like Wag was too far behind to catch up.

He really should try to get out more.

But why? So he can watch things change? So he can look on helplessly as the world around him becomes something new? What’s worse, seeing change happen and being unable to keep up, or stepping out of your house one day to see that nothing was the same?

Wag rolled over.

Dear Athar this is not what I want to be thinking about.

He’d just have to do his best to keep up. To claw his way back to the present when the past tries to drag him down. If he can at least stay with it, change won’t feel so bad. If he’s in the thick of it, surely he, too, will feel it? Will change for the better.

Wag sure hoped so.

The distant sound of bells broke his thoughts. His doorbell, to be exact.

By now it was the dead of night and any right-minded person was sleeping right now. Or trying to. Wag considered whether it would be better to stay in bed, wallowing, or get up and see what’s what.

Another ring urged him to rise.

He spiralled down, and down, and down his stairs, his room being at the top of the tower. Wag missed elevators so much. Maybe he could be the man to pioneer the elevator. Start with a simple pulley system, like they use in mines, and work up from there.

Letting go of that train of thought, he finally reached the bottom floor and strode over to yank the front door open.

It was Tom.

“Bought time you showed up mate, I thought I was gonna hafta walk up there to get you myself,” Tom chirped. “Oh!” He leaned in. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

Wag gave him a deadpan look. “Didn’t you just say you would have gotten me up if I hadn’t answered?” Tom grinned at him cheekily. “Thought so. And, for the record, no. I was pondering life’s mysteries like one normally does at,” He squinted into the outdoors. “Whatever fucking time it is.”

“Wonderful! May I come in?” Tom asked, already walking in.

“Be my guest.” Wag made an aborted movement to complain about the fact he walked in anyway, but thought better of it.

Tom wandered the foyer for a moment, trying to get out extra energy, before he flopped onto Wag’s mediocre couch. Wag knew he ought to offer food and drink, but it was too late at night for him to care. Instead, he took a seat beside Tom, whose head was leaning over the back of the couch.

“It’s been a while, huh?” Tom’s face was lacking his normal energy. Like the act of sitting let it all out. His hands, however, fluttered nervously, fingers drumming, palms smoothing down his pants.

“We saw each other yesterday.” Wag regretted not getting a drink. He was feeling Tom’s restlessness. It would be nice to have something to do with his hands. “Not that long ago.”

Drawing his shoulders up, Tom released a sigh. “Long enough.”

Silence again.

“Have.” Tom stopped. He was mulling over his words, a rare occasion for someone who prefered to think on the fly. “Have you been doing alright recently?”

A strange question.

“Define recently.” Wag wasn’t about to open up another heart to heart discussion. One per day was enough.

“Y’know. Recently! Like, the past few days.”

Try since we fell back into the world.

“I guess? I haven’t felt any different than before.”

This is where Tom’s eyes sharpened. He appraised Wag, took him in. Surely, what Tom saw was a tired, weary man. A Waglington far from his best. Hair messy, eyes dark, the strain of life held deep in his shoulders.

Except, none of his keener friends had noticed. Why would Tom?

“You haven’t been doing well for a while, huh?”

Or, rather, why wouldn’t Tom?

Still, Tom being the one to notice was a shock.

Wag looked him in the eyes, held them for a moment, then looked away. That was answer enough, in his opinion.

“Shit,” Tom softened up, curling forward to rest his elbows on his knees, face pillowed in his fists. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Why? Well, there were a number of reasons. They bounced in his mind every time he thought to himself, ‘Would anyone care?’

Feeling insignificant, feeling useless, hopeless, like after everything he’d done it didn’t mean anything.

Maybe he was depressed.

“I couldn’t. I didn’t know how- I,” Wag couldn’t find the words. “I didn’t want to bring everyone else down with my problems when they all have their own.”

Tom straightened up and turned towards him. Leaned in. Got close to his ear. “Wag.” His voice was breathy, light.

“That is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.”

And loud. Fuck, did he have to get that close.

“It’s not dumb! It’s just how I felt. Feel.” Tom didn’t have to be a dick about it. “You guys do have shit going on, though! Everyone is trying to deal with their own crap, why would I add mine like a sour little cherry on top?”

Said asshole flopped on top of him, forcing Wag to lean back to accommodate Tom on his lap. “That’s not what I meant. How you feel is how you feel. What I meant is that we don’t give a shit about what all we have on our plates, we care about you.”

Wag moved to hold his head in his hands, making sure to dig his elbows into Tom’s back. “And I care about you enough to not want to worry you.”

“Wag.”

“Yes.”

“That’s-”

“Bullshit?”

“Bullshit.”

Tom wrapped his arms around Wag’s waist and snuggled in. Wag fell back into the couch. “Still. I don’t want to drag you down.”

“If we can’t deal with your problems, we’d let you know.”

“I’m sure.”

“I would, at least.”

Wag huffed. “I know you would. You like to let everyone know what’s on your mind.”

“Sometimes.” Tom’s voice was flat. It was unsettling.

“Do,” Wag rubbed soft circles into Tom’s back. “Do you have a problem you want to talk about.”

Tom buried his face into Wag’s stomach. “Yes,” his voice was muffled, but audible. “But not now. I’m here because I felt like you were thinking too hard and needed someone to talk to.”

That was interesting. He ‘felt’ like it?

“I appreciate it. But how-?” Tom squeezed his waist. It was a clear not now.

“Did you want to talk about what’s up with you?”

Wag shook his head, then realized Tom couldn’t see him. “No. I’ve had enough heart dumping today.”

They sat in silence again.

“Are we gonna just lay here?” Tom said nothing. “Did you just wanna snuggle on the couch until one of us decides to get up?”

Wag received a non-committal hum.

“Alright then, but if someone walks in on us here I’m going to have to tell them they we’re involved in a long standing affair.” Wag moved to lay alongside Tom on the couch, comfortably curling an arm around him. Tom responded with a quiet chuckle.

An easy silence washed back over them. Having Tom as a warm weight next to him was helping, surprisingly. Or maybe not surprisingly. It was harder to think about all the things that made you feel like shit when you had someone else holding your waist in a death grip. Was it a little painful? Yes. Did it help nonetheless? Also yes.

In the end, he was grateful Tom showed up.

---

Wag woke up with a pain in his back and a groan. Which wasn’t terribly unusual, except he couldn’t remember what he did to get his back right to the point of aching without being downright horrible. Or why his neck would feel stiff.

Then, of course, there was the weight settled on his chest. Tom. Tom drooling on his chest.

Ever the good friend, Wag decided to help him wake up. By lovingly pushing Tom off him. Only to go crashing down to the floor as well when Tom, sensing movement, latched on tight.

“Aw, fuck,” were Tom’s first words of the morning, followed by a, “What the fuck.”

Wag shoved at Tom. “Let go. I love you too, but I would rather not sit on my couch all day.”

“Well, why not? That’s as good a way to spend a day as any.” Tom held on with an impish grin, still groggy from his sudden awakening.

“Aw, you guys looked so cute up there.” A voice from the stairs drew their attention. Martha. “And here I thought you guys were such good friends, cozying up to each other. I’d come down to give you a blanket, but I suppose you won’t be needing it now.”

True to word, a blanket was held in her arms. Wag flopped onto Tom, squishing him into the floor. “Oh, Martha dear, you are just a little off. You see, Tom and I here are not friends, we are-”

Tom jumped in, “Lovers. Have been since we met in our early teens. Sorry to break it to you, but Wag was mine first and I want him back.”

Martha’s eyebrows shot up. “Is that so?” There was a teasing note in her voice. “Does that make me the rebound? Waggles, I can’t believe you would disgrace me so.”

If anyone was the rebound, Wag thought, it’s me.

“Yep!” Tom popped the ‘p’. “And now that we are well and fully together again, what shall we do with you.”

Wag rolled his eyes and sent Martha a wink. She hid a giggle behind her hand.

“Well, Tomothy, I have bad news for you.” Wag looked down into Tom’s eyes, giving his cheek a mock caress. “Martha is way cooler than you. She’s got purple hair, to start, and some spectacular magic tricks. I don’t know if you can compete with that.”

There was a flash of something in his eyes, and for a moment Wag saw Tom's mouth open only to be replaced by a dark, pained look. Then it was gone, replaced by Tom’s usual mischief.

“I can’t believe you!” Tom let go, finally, to push Wag away and roll to the side clutching his heart. “After all we’ve been through! That one time I gave you my meat! When we did drugs together! And you’re leaving me because my hair isn’t purple!”

He got up, dusting his legs off, and sashayed to the front door. “That’s fine, I’m too much of a boss ass bitch for you anyway. Ta ta, my not dearest. Until we never meet again!”

Then he was gone.

Martha piped up again, having moved to place the blanket on the couch. “As dramatic as always.” She shook her head. “I’m afraid I only stopped by to pick something up for Dad. I’ll be leaving as well.”

Wag pulled himself off the floor as she passed, giving her a smile. She hesitated before returning it.

She opened the door with a look over her shoulder. “Goodbye, love.”

And, just as she started to walk out, she muttered to herself, “Did Tom already make it down the mountain? Strange.”

Then Wag was alone. Again.

---

It was midday when Wag found himself back at the bakery, quietly eating an apple tart while Gretchen eyed him from over the counter. There were a few customers here and there, though most of the village inhabitants out fishing for the day or working their craft. Wag, of course, ran on whatever schedule suited his needs per day.

Gretchen, who was preparing dough for tomorrow, was clearly waiting for him to say what was on his mind. He ducked his head farther into his hood.

He was that obvious, huh?

“So, how has your da-” Gretchen cut off his attempt at light conversation. “You asked when you came in. Try again.”

Stunned, he reconsidered his words. “What do you think of-” She cut him off with a click of her tongue.

Clearly, she was not taking any bullshit today. Which was unfortunate. Wag wanted nothing more than to fill his days with insignificant bullshit if that meant he never had to face his problems.

Fuck.

Why was asking for advice so hard?

Gretchen hummed quietly to herself. Wag finished the tart. Slowly licked his fingers clean. And came up with nothing to say.

A customer came and went. The door closed with a soft jingle of the bell at the top.

He broke.

“I need to break up with Martha and I don’t know how.”

Gretchen turned to him with a surprised and considering look. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“What?” He scowled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She paused in her ministrations. Wiped her hands off on her apron. Turning to him, she leaned against the counter. “I didn’t think you’d consider that you weren’t happy with your relationship. It’s clear as day that you two aren’t much of a couple. Whether you were before you got here aint none of my business, but as you are now? I coulda mistaken you for friends, at best.”

Oh.

Ouch.

“Yeah,” Wag trailed off. “I don’t, uh, I’m not really sure how much of a couple we were either. Back then. Do you mind if I,” he waved his hands half-heartedly, “vent a little?”

Gretchen gave him a fond head shake. “I already put the dough down, I’m all ears.”

“So, um.” He wasn’t sure where to start. When they first met? When he started thinking that he might like her? When he realized he loved her? When they got together?

Steve?

“Martha was already in a relationship when we met.” Gretchen raised an eyebrow but said nothing else. “The guy she was with was the farmer type, rough, could fix anything with a little elbow grease and a stern look. Followed Dianite, the new one.”

Wag took a second to figure out where he was going with this. “They were engaged, actually. And then broke it off later. Martha and I grew close after that. But the thing was- is- Martha still loves Steve. Misses him. But he’s-” He broke off, lost again.

“Dead?” His head snapped to her. She held her hands up. “Hey, you were talking about him all past tense, and from what I heard about whatever happened to that other place, if someone didn’t show up here after all that calamity, they aren’t going to show up ever. They’re gone.”

Yeah, he was. Steve was six feet under. Farther than that. He was lost to the void with Ruxomar. Lost to Dianite’s soul. Claimed by the acts of the past for a better future.

And look where that got them.

“Yeah, he’s dead now. It killed her, I think. She lost her mother, had all this power, yet she could do nothing to stop Steve from dying, too.” Wag was beginning to connect some dots, the kind of dots you look at and roll your eyes and claim are just things that happen in shitty romance novels.

Gretchen had her head on her fist now, invested. “Why did they split?”

“Uh,” Wag struggled to recall the information. “Because... I think it was because Steve ‘moved around too much’.” He made air quotes. “Or went on too many missions for Dianite? I don’t know the details.”

“Oh, that’s no good.” When she saw Wag’s confused face, Gretchen continued. “If they split over something like that, there’s always a good chance they still loved each other. I’m afraid to say it, but you may have been the rebound.”

Wag hated to hear that. “Hey, she flirted with me before their relationship was over. It was a mutual flirting thing, too!”

Gretchen groaned. “You guys flirted, while she was in a relationship, that you knew about, and when it was over she came to you? That sounds suspiciously like needed comfort after leaving the love of her life and knew you could give her that.”

He opened his mouth to retort, but deflated like a two weeks old balloon.

Taking a breath, a wheeze at best, he tried again. “You don’t understand. Martha is, she’s amazing. She’s dedicated, and smart, and talented, and she’s always trying her best even under the pressure of being a demigod and having everyone look to you expecting greatness out of you.”

His heart was beating faster.

“And she’s polyamorous! She has room in her heart for more than one love, and we both knew that! Steve knew that! Martha didn’t rebound on me, exactly, but Steve and I had a mutual understanding that we both had places in Martha’s life and that was that.”

“She was kind, and caring, and only wanted the best for the people around her. There are so many amazing things about her.” His words were sweet but his voice was desperate.

“There’s no way she would be able to use someone- to use,” Wag grew quieter, “me, like that.”

Would she?

A hand on his arm startled him. Gretchen looked at him with soft eyes. “Hun, I don’t think she was truly ready for another relationship. She definitely didn’t go into it looking to use you. In fact, I’m sure she was in it because she loved you.”

She let go to move around the counter and lead him to a seat. “You can see it, sometimes, when she’s with you. The gentle fondness in her gaze, the warmth in the smiles she directs at you.”

“But you can’t build a solid relationship without hashing through the issues and problems you have.” Gretchen rubbed up and down his arm. “And Martha being caught up on this Steve, that’s something you have to address. It’s no issue to love more than one person, but to let the love you feel for another get in the way of the love you feel for another is.”

“I just feel awful letting it go like this. I should have put in more effort, tried to bridge the gap more, done something.” Wag was trying to keep his breathing steady. It was working, somewhat. “I’ve let myself get into such a fuckin’ rut that I can’t even keep track of everything.”

Gretchen pursed her lips. “If I may be so crass, you’ve let yourself get so hard focused on everything about you that you haven’t given the time to look at the people around you. Before yesterday, when was the last time you’d taken the time to catch up with your friends? How much of their lives do you know about?”

He wanted to say something, give a date, but he came up blank. “I’m trying my best.”

“You are, and I see that. But you can’t blame yourself all the way through. You’ve got to consider Martha’s view as well. Neither of you are the villain here, neither of you tried to sabotage or destroy your relationship. Both of you were just trying to feel like things were going alright while other pieces of your life fell apart.” Taking the seat next to him, she shook her head.

Again, he moved to say something, but she cut him off. “If you don’t think that those of us ‘round town don’t notice that you heroes have some shit going on, you’re wrong. We may be the more common around here, but we have eyes. Whatever happened to you, you can’t let it be the reason you get stuck in something that makes you more upset or hurt. Got it?”

Hesitant, he nodded. She didn’t know much about him, yet she could see right through him, huh? How obvious had he gotten in all his time spent away from people?

“You know, I didn’t come here to have a heart to heart about my emotional issues.” Wag tried for a teasing tone but fell a little off.

Gretchen took the bait. “No sir, you came here because you’re too much of a wuss to just go up to Martha and say ‘Love, I’m afraid this ain’t gonna to work out. Can we just be friends?”

“Ok, but she could literally electrocute me.”

“Ain’t gonna be any more painful then the dance you two are doing right now.”

He had no answer for that.

“That’s what I thought. And, if she’s as nice and amazing as you say she is, would she electrocute you?”

“No. But her uncle might.”

Gretchen laughed. “Ah yes, the new Dianite. That’d be a sight to see. ‘This man we’re all suspicious and wary of smiting a local and apparent hero! Is this man actually the second coming of an evil and villainous Dianite?’ That’d go over well.”

“Ok, so maybe I don’t need to worry about getting my ass cooked by a god. I’m still nervous.” Wag was, however, feeling a little better about the situation.

“Now, now. You shouldn’t get too comfortable.” A smile grew in her face, a devious look in her eye.

“Why?”

“Spark, you know, her father? The man who built this village, who we all respect and acknowledge as a good man? If he were to come around and to, I don’t know, teach you a lesson for hurting his daughter, none of us would bat an eye.”

“Gee, thanks. If you find me dead in a ditch you’ll know what happened.”

“Are you all ready then?” She stood, smoothing her apron. “Because I’m going to kick you out regardless if you say yes or no. If I let you stay here you might not leave.”

“I was going to say no, but I suppose I’ll wander off, then.” Wag stood as well. He shuffled in place for a moment while Gretchen returned to the other side of the counter. “Thanks. For, you know. All of that.”

She shook her head. “You better keep coming in and buying my goods. Call it an even deal.”

As he begun to walk out, he heard her call, “You’re welcome to come back if you need another talk!”

Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to.

---

“Martha, I need to talk to you. About our relationship. I think it’s time to end it.”

Wag was back in his tower, pacing back and forth. No, he wasn’t running from the issue, he just had no fucking idea where Martha was. At all. He should have asked.

Oh well. Too late now.

Instead he had to make the choice of: wait for her at home or attempt to track her down. His decision was fairly obvious. The only issue with said decision was that he had was that there was no way to know when Martha would show up next.

It also occurred to him that Martha preferred not to come around. Shit.

Where would she be? She’d been talking to Jordan, at his request. Maybe they were still talking? But she’d come ho- come to the tower this morning. Why had she come over? What had she said?

Oh!

She was picking up something for Spark! That meant she was probably with him. Or, he’d know where she was.

…

He didn’t know where Spark was either.

“Damn, I wish I’d paid more attention to when Martha talked about Spark,” Wag muttered to himself, starting towards the door.

Then stopped.

First, Spark was intensely boring in his routine and life. Second, he still didn’t know where to find him.

He missed being able to teleport to people.

Alright, so maybe he should have shown interest in his potential father-in-law, but it was too late for that. He had to find Martha, and finding Spark might be easier.

Who would know where he was? The townspeople might like him, but they all had their own lives. Still, he could ask around. Who had seen him more recently, other than Martha?

A thought struck him.

He face palmed.

Jordan. Not only had Jordan and Martha been talking, which meant he might know where she went, but Jordan complained about Spark lecturing him all the time. If he didn’t know where Martha was, he’d likely know where Spark was. Even if it was to make sure he could avoid him.

Alright, easy. Jordan was probably at his house. Tree. Tree house? He had a pretty good track record of keeping close to home, at least.

So off to Jordan’s it was.

---

Today, Jerry’s Tree made him feel small. It was like it was looming over him as he ascended the hill. Grand and regal. It had seen death and destruction and met the challenge to come back better.

Wag did not feel like he was rising to a challenge so much as descending into a pit of pain. Sliding into a sweet embrace with death. Rolling into the grave.

Maybe he was being dramatic, but the thought of breaking up with Martha created more dread than he felt before in his life.

In any case, it was as he pondered the looming nature that he wondered what it would be like to live there. Then promptly remembered what he’d noticed the day before.

He looked over to the Casa de Sparklez. It looked homey and modest against the sprawl of branches and bark. Sure, it seemed insignificant at first glance, but it was simple. Nice.

Wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

Hadn’t it also been destroyed? Now that Wag thought about it, the last he’d seen of it before Ruxomar was a pile of ash and suspended ruins. How was it in this condition? Fixed?

Was it Ianite, again?

How many of Jordan’s homes ended in ash?

This was definitely not the reason he was making his way up. He had to focus. Focus! Ask Jordan about Martha and Spark. Easy.

Instead of making his way to the Tree right away, Wag stopped to knock on the de Sparklez door. There was a beat of silence. Did he assume wrong? Was Jordan actually living in the Tree?

Then he heard footsteps. Quiet and uncertain, but there. A flash of movement through the windows. Then the lock was turned and the door swung open.

One Mr. Captain Sparklez in the flesh.

“Hey, Wag,” Jordan drew the words out. “What brings you to the good ol’ Casa de Sparklez and not-” He looked over to Jerry’s Tree. “-my house.”

Wag offered him a smile. “I had a hunch you’d be here.”

Jordan raised an eyebrow but motioned him in regardless. The interior looked the same from the few times he’d been inside. Birch and quartz, sleek and stylish.

“How have you been, Wag?” As Jordan spoke up Wag turned to look at him. He seemed like he was in good health.

“I’ve been... better. But I’m doing better than I was, I think.” Wag could be honest with Jordan. He was pretty sure. Jordan, among all the heroes, was least likely to judge him for having issues. Ianitee and preserving balance and all.

They wandered over to Jordan’s couches where Wag declined any food or drink. “That’s good. Always good to be better, y’know, since we’re all finally getting a chance to relax.”

“Now,” Wag put his arm on the back of the couch, “I wouldn’t say that. Say it too much and things will turn south again.”

“Oh, believe me, it’ll turn south again. It always does.”

“Well that’s quite the vote of confidence in us.”

Jordan snorted. “It’s not a lack of confidence in us, it's a lack of confidence in the universe! Who’s to say that we won’t have another World Historian show up? Or another Shadows?”

Wow, speaking of Shadows.

“Gee, and here I thought I was the downer.”

Jordan laughed, shaking his head. “Only a little,” He rubbed his legs. “I’ve been using our downtime to get myself resettled, re-setup. To get back to,” A wave of his hands. “Normal? How things used to be? I’m not sure, yet.”

“Is that why you’re living here?” Wag bit back the ‘because it feels more like home, here?’.

He received a shrug in response. “It’s easier to get in here than to wander through the tree.”

Either that was a flimsy excuse or Wag was reading too deep into this. He wouldn’t be surprised if he was. All he’d done recently was think and talk deep. Better catch himself now before he gets ahead of himself.

“So,” He pushed his thoughts to the side, “Ignoring the fact that there’s elevators in the tree, how’d you manage to get this place back in shape?”

Jordan looked away for a moment. “It took a lot of time and resources. Needed to get all that wood and quartz back, y'know? But it gave me a reason to avoid Spark, and it gave me time to… think.”

“About?”

He turned his gaze towards Jerry’s Tree, a thoughtful look in his eyes. “About how much things have really changed, and how much they haven’t.”

Well, Wag was no stranger to this topic. He was a little tired of it. “How haven’t they changed? Seems like more and more things are growing and becoming different. Nothing feels the same.”

Jordan was quiet for a minute. He was steadily getting out of his comfort zone here. “Well, there’s a lot of constants. We’re in the same world, with the same people, with the same ideas of who we are. I know I follow Ianite, I know I stand for balance, and no matter how much Spark tries to tell me I’m doing it wrong, I know what my role is as Ianite’s champion.”

“Sure, the,” he waves a hand towards the window, to the tree, to the countryside, “everything, has changed. The tree got bigger and better and less like I remember, and there's new people and a whole, real village here, rather than the strange village-folk from before. And, yeah, it’s weird having the people from the last world among us, but we know them. We know us. Even when things change it's still-”

Jordan locked eyes with Wag.

“Us.”

Yeah. He was right. Everything was changing, as everything would. But in the end, after everything has evolved and adapted and become something new, what’s left?

Us.

#sparklington #the after series #waglington #james hayes #captain sparklez #jordan maron #martha the mystic #martha conway #tom syndicate #tom cassell #ii_jeriicho_ii #tucker b0ner #jericho #omgitsfirefoxx #sonja reid #mianite #mianitefa

23 notes · View notes

bobasheebaby · 5 years

Text

One More Day- Learning to Breathe chapter 2

Pairing: Widow Riley (Drake x MC), no pairing yet

Word count: 2,057

Warnings: bone crushing angst, mention of character death, grief, depression

Summary: Flashes of Riley’s coping strategies.

Song inspiration: One More Day by Diamond Rio

A/N: I have no heart because I have crushed it, my chest is now an empty pit that aches from this. That’s my way of telling you this is gonna hurt go grab your comfort drink, a blanket and tissues, you will need it.

Series warnings: This series will follow Riley, Liam and Bastien after Drake’s death. It will deal with the grief and pain of losing a loved one. Possible NSFW content to come. Possibly dark. If you click read more you acknowledge you are at least 18 years of age.

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, I’m simply borrowing from PB for a bit.

Riley moved through her room in a trance. Her body still felt numb, she wasn’t sure she’d ever get over the loss of him and what returning to the manor alone truly meant. What was to be their shared home would always simply be hers.

Riley stared out the limousine window, everything moving past in a blur of shapes and colors as she saw straight past the scenery. She felt like she was moving in slow motion as she returned to the duchy. Her head was fuzzy, leaving her feeling completely dazed. She still couldn’t come to terms with the fact that she had to bury the man that she loved. No she did bury him. He was gone, he was in the ground. Her body felt numb from the second she heard the shot go off. A piece of her soul had broken off and left her when he did.

Their love was such a whirlwind, she didn’t have nearly enough time with him. Time. The concept that it went on without him made her want the earth open up and swallow her whole. She didn’t know how to move forward now that she was once again alone.

She looked up at the looming building as it appeared in her view. The once welcoming duchy where they dreamed up their future seemed monstrous, casting a daunting shadow upon her, reminding her what they would never have.

Why did he have to die? It didn’t seem fair, for her to live and mourn him and everything they had dreamed up with wide smiles. Her future without him was more terrifying than the thought of never taking another breath.

She squeezed her eyes shut as the limousine pulled to a stop, she was home. Home. Once it was to be their home, now it simply felt like a reminder of everything she lost. How could she enter the building without seeing ghosts of what would never be? Every corner once held possibility, now it just held deep crushing sadness.

She exited the car, breezing into the manor, blocking out all questions from her friends. As much as she hated the thought all she wanted was to be alone. Alone with her grief and misery, not afraid of hurting someone’s feelings when she tuned them completely out. She knew they were there for her out of kindness, but it all felt like a weak substitute for what she was meant to have.

She slammed the door to her master bedroom shut flicking the lock, she wanted to be allowed to cry without the looks of sadness and pity on her well meaning friends faces. She shed her fitted black dress, leaving it discarded on the ground. Her entire life changed in an instant. It went from fairytale ending to living nightmare in a blink of an eye and a blinding flash of a muzzle.

She dropped her gaze down, she could still see remnants of his blood coating her arms and chest. She closed her eyes, but was only met with the scene replaying in her head. She could still hear the loud pop the gun made and the ear piercing shriek that left her lips. Her life felt foreign, she wasn’t sure she would ever get over the heartbreak of losing the man she loved the same day she became his wife.

Riley looked up into the mirror, knuckles going white as she gripped the vanity edge tighter as she frowned at the pale face staring back at her. She barely recognized the woman she’d become since he died. Her chestnut brown hair brushed the first time in a week, missing its usual shine. Her hazel eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed, deep purple circles proving though she barely left her bed that she barely got any sleep. Any sleep manage was not a reprieve from the pain she felt, instead it was simply a reminder of all she lost.

Riley smiled, her eyelids slowly fluttered open as she felt his calloused hand brush against her cheek. “Morning.” She breathed as hazel locked on warm chestnut brown.

“Morning.” His lips quirked into a lopsided smile as he leaned in for a kiss.

“You have morning breath.” She pulled away half seriously teasing her husband, her heart.

“So do you.”

Their lips met, a spark lighting through her. She brought her hand up, fingers tangling in his hair as she pulled him closer. She felt complete, at peace. She never wanted this feeling to end.

She rolled, reaching for him in the bed. Her hand hit cold sheets, forcing her back to reality. It was all a dream, a beautiful, wonderful, horrible dream. Tears streaked down her pale cheeks soaking the pillowcase in fresh tears. She rolled to her side, staring out at the balcony. She had once found the view so serene and beautiful, now it was just another reminder of all they dreamed of and would never have.

She felt completely lost without him. She didn’t want to move, she barely ate, let alone showered. How can I move on like he was never here? They said ‘time heals all wounds’ but how much time is needed to mend a broken heart?

I shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t be the one who is gone. On the outside she wept, deep inside she didn’t simply feel bone crushing grief, she felt pain but also guilt. She knew Liam said his name because he loved her. If I had said no to Maxwell he never would have died and I wouldn’t feel so terribly alone surrounded by friends. She didn’t want to be here, she didn’t want to live, but her faith ingrained her with a fear of taking her own life. Instead it was easier to just sit in her bed, refusing every tray Hana brought to her with a sad smile. She just was waiting to fall asleep and never wake.

Why did I agree to weekly get togethers that are really check ups on the grieving widow? I don’t want to see people, I don’t want to talk. I just want to be left alone. She frowned as her phone lit up with the doctor’s name that Olivia had all but forced her to see. Why can’t they just let me go? I don’t want reminders of him. I want to be on my own or with him. Why couldn’t they just leave me be. She so badly wanted to push decline, but she wanted to prove to them that their concern had been over nothing. Hopefully now they’ll let me leave.

Riley rushed around her room stuffing clothes in her open suitcase. Only what she brought, she wanted to forget all her time spent in Cordonia all her frilly gowns were to stay behind. She couldn’t stay, not here, she couldn’t take the memories that were etched into every corner of the country she’d come to think of as home.

She wasn’t sure where to go. New York would be just as bad, she’d be drawn to the bar they met at. She couldn’t go back to Montana, she’d be reminded of all the times he talked to her about Walker ranch and the simple life he wanted to show their kids. She placed her hand on her flat stomach, they’d never have children. She’d never see him beam as he held their newborn in his arms. She’d never get to argue over who the baby resembled more, him of course, not that she’d mind. She shook her head sniffling back fresh tears. It’s time to forget every dream.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

She closed her eyes as Olivia’s voice broke through the still room. She had hoped to avoid this. She didn’t want to have to try to explain why she was running away. “I’m leaving Cordonia, I can’t live here anymore. It’s too hard, I see him everywhere. I’m sorry but I need to leave.”

“Like hell I’m letting you leave.”

She sighed. “I wasn’t asking for your permission Liv.” Oh god. Her hand flew to her mouth as her stomach turned. She rushed to the en-suite, emptying the meager contents of her stomach into the toilet.

“The only place you’re going is the doctors. You are making yourself sick from not eating. Maybe you even need—”

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “I swear if you say I need antidepressants I will stab you with your own damn dagger!”

“There is the fight. Now let’s get you to the doctor.”

“Liv I don’t want to.” She paused as she met Olivia’s murderous gaze. “Fine but when the doctor says everything is normal for someone grieving you have to let me leave Cordonia.”

Olivia sighed. “I hate it, but fine.”

Riley stared at the opposite wall, her feet rooted to the ground as her heart hammered in her chest. “I’m sorry I think I misheard you, could you please repeat that?” No it has to be a mistake. This can’t be happening.

“Of course.” Her voice cheerful and chipper. “I said congratulations, you’re pregnant. By the levels and your last known period we would estimate about three months but we would need you to come in for an ultrasound to confirm.”

Pregnant? Her heart stopped in her chest. Three months? Tears sprung to her red rimmed hazel eyes. He’s almost been gone that long. Her legs gave way, her body crumbling to the ground, phone slipping from her hand, tumbling to the floor. I—I can’t be. This can’t be happening. Please let me wake up from this endless nightmare.

She didn’t know what was worse, knowing he was gone and she’d never see him again, or doing this all on her own. It felt like some cruel joke the universe was playing on her, giving her a piece of him, a reminder of what could have been. Would she be able to watch a miniature version of him grow without her heart completely shattering?

All the stress she was under after losing Drake she barely even noticed that she was late. It wasn’t until she had been getting increasingly nauseous that she’d noticed anything was amiss. Even so, she wasn’t eating as much, sullen and depressed, it wasn’t until Olivia had all but threatened her that she even went to see what was wrong. She was convinced it was due to stress and lack of care, she never even suspected that she may be pregnant.

Pregnant. The word brought her fear and sadness instead of filling her with joy and love. She sat on the floor, her body a broken heap like when she’d held Drake in her arms, all the pain she felt that night rushing back to her tenfold. A baby, his baby. She’d been struggling to find a reason to hold on, to move forward, can I do this? How can I watch our child grow without completely falling apart?

“Riley?” His baritone voice tinged with concern as it filtered through the halls.

She opened her mouth to call out to him, no words coming. He’ll find me. With the news she’d forgotten he was stopping by to check on her, usually she’d be waiting for him in the kitchen. She looked up as she saw his shadow before his tall frame filled the doorway.

His face briefly flitted with relief at finding her. “Riley, what’s wrong?” He rushed to her side.

Her silent tears turned to a loud broken sob. How many times would today mirror the one where she lost her husband? “The-the doctor called.” She stammered, barely getting the words out. “I’m—I’m pregnant.” The last word lodged itself in her throat. Her heart ached as she spoke, she shouldn’t be crying, Drake should be by her side, both of them feeling overjoyed at the news. “How can I possibly do this on my own?”

His heart broke for her, he knew this couldn’t be making things any easier for her. “You aren’t alone.”

She wiped at her cheeks with the backs of her hands. “I know I will have help and support, the gang has been, you have been kind enough to check up on me, but he should be here.” He would be here if it weren’t for me.

How can he just be gone?

Feedback fuels me, please like, comment reblog or send an ask. Feel free to scream, I promise I can take it.

Masterlist can be found in my bio.

Taglist will be reblogged.

#past drake x mc #olivia nevrakis #bastien lykel #riley brooks #trr au #the royal romance #the royal romance au #choices the royal romance #one more day #learning to breathe #one more day: learning to breathe #chapter 2 #angst #tw depression #tw grief #this hurts so much!#long post #read more

126 notes · View notes

castcharmperson · 5 years

Text

The Dispel Magic Incident - Part 7

[shows up 15 weeks late with starbucks] hey friends, this is still a thing. Will also be updated on ao3 if you’d prefer to read it there. Check the notes for links.

Anyway, have some Merle

The furious clicking of the new umbrastaff was similar enough to the old umbrastaff, so Merle didn’t even flinch when it was replaced with shouting. “Where the fuck have you been?!”

Davenport snickered across the table from him and Merle couldn’t help but join him. “Taako, I’ve been in here all afternoon.” He was sure whatever Taako was upset about was important, but honestly he had a really good hand right now that he’d love to finish.

“I blame you for this,” Taako glared at Davenport and the Captain just laughed more. “Merle, can I borrow you to do your fuckin’ job for a second?”

“We only need a few more minutes to wrap up this game.”

“Oh my gods, fine!” Taako pulled out a third chair and dropped down into it. “Cap’n’s going to win.”

“You don’t know that…” Merle muttered, but he was probably right. He couldn’t remember the last time Taako had joined in a game of cards, let alone just sat and watched the two of them play. Of course Merle thought their games were interesting, two masterminds battling it out, but none of the crew usually agreed with him.

He threw the game. Davenport knew it, Taako did too, but Merle couldn’t really care less. “Next time, Dav.”

“Of course, Merle.” Their Captain looked at Taako for a moment, then left the kitchen.

“This really isn’t the best place to do this…” Taako had leaned his body back, tilting the chair dangerously as Davenport left. The house was still full of people, some packing after a long week of Candlenights, but Merle was sure the majority of them were going to be here for the foreseeable future. It was nice that Dav was staying as long as he had been.

“What exactly are we doing, Taako?” Merle didn’t bother beating around the bush. He wouldn’t be aggressive with any bush, for that matter. He knew Taako would rather dance around the subject, but if it was cards watching serious, Taako must be in a hurry too.

He still wouldn’t look at him, though. The chair was back on four legs but Taako was focused on the door. “Hey, Barrold!”

“Hm?” Barry walked back from halfway down the hall until he could poke his head through the kitchen door. His eyes shifted between the two of them before his eyebrows shot into his receding hairline. Merle had thought for sure that the pack bond or whatever with the Raven Queen would fix that. He’d picked his god for the looks, among other things. He was surprised Barry hadn’t developed the deadly cheekbones Kravitz seemed blessed with.

“Oh.” Barry seemed to know what was going on.

“Yeah. We need a lift to my office.”

“I can do that.”

“Okay hold on.” Merle held up his hands. “The last time you two needed me to do something, I was getting stabbed with forks.”

Barry rolled his eyes but Taako nodded. “No, no, the old man has a point.” At least one of these kids had sense. Taako looked up from where he’d been focused on the umbrastaff, still in his grip. Oh shit, this really was important. Merle sat up a little straighter, missing the gleam in Taako’s eyes of a goof on the horizon. “Merle, I know you’ve literally never done this before, but we need you to pretend to be a cleric.”

Merle huffed, sliding off the chair. “Ha ha, very funny. Now what is going on.”

Barry had already carved open a rip between the planes and Merle was walking through it. The Astral Plane, if this one was anything like what they’d studied back at the IPRE, was technically closer to the Celestial Plane than the Prime Material was. Geographically speaking, he should feel closer to Pan. Maybe this reality was different than their homeworld’s, maybe not, but Merle never really liked the Astral Plane. The crisp chill from walking across it lingered, long after the portal closed. At least Kravitz didn’t have death radiating off of him like this, despite being Death.

“Not that I don’t love spending time with Barry, but why isn’t your boyfriend plane-hopping with you?” Merle asked as the portal closed up and Taako pushed aside a few papers on his desk. He nearly dropped something, before aiming the umbrastaff at the office door and Mage Handing it closed. “Pan damnit, if you two wanted more blood, you really didn’t have to kidnap me.”

“I don’t want your fucking blood!” Taako snapped, but Barry put a hand on his shoulder. The scythe was gone, just their regular goth boy in denim, looking more grim than he ever did when he told Merle about his work. Taako placed his hand over Barry’s, squeezing once, before pushing him off. He took a deep breath. “Merle, you remember Wonderland, right?”

“Been trying not to.” The words slipped out before he could think twice about them. But it was true! That quest was easily their worst. Sure, Pan’s radio silence wasn’t caused by the liches, but Merle didn’t know that at the time. And everyone can say what they want about his healing abilities but…

At the end of the day, they were all alive. That’s what mattered, that’s what he tried to remember. It was a little hard, knowing they all got their memories back and Magnus still had some missing. Aside from that though, they didn’t lose too much. Right?

Merle hadn’t even realized he’d glanced down at his feet, face twisted in frustration before intentionally smoothing back out again, until he looked back up at Taako.

He’d meant it when he offered to take the extra spin for Taako. He really wished one of them had followed through; Magnus could have afforded to lose another finger since he got his whole body back anyway.

Taako looked fine, better than that if Merle’s being honest. What had Taako said, looking better than ninety percent of Faerun? It was true, still was. But he’d be very plain if they’d gone back to their original plane. The difference was significant, now that Merle could compare him to Lup.

“I can’t--”

“Not that.” Taako stepped around from the desk. Ah, shorts and a crop top in winter made a lot more sense now. Not that Merle knew much about winter fashion-- it was always shorts weather back at Merlegaritaville.

“Those do not look good.” He stepped closer and Taako met him half way, Barry right behind him.

“I promise you, they feel worse.” That would explain the new umbrastaff. Merle looked at Barry. Of course Taako told Lup, but why did Barry know first? It wasn’t like they could kill Taako and bring him back with a new body. Who else knew?

“Okay, could you not with the face? I’m sure you can do your cleric shit with my spell still up, this is a courtesy.”

“It would be a lot harder without a visual reference,” Barry tried, but Merle had heard enough.

“Don’t tell me how to do my job.” He held his soulwood arm to the gash across Taako’s stomach and the budding leaves curled backwards. “Any issues with this one?”

“Uuh, dex mostly. Loss of appetite? That could be from other stuff though.”

Barry made an inquisitive noise at that, which made Merle feel at least a little bit better. Taako had talked to him about that already. Merle let the two of them go on whatever half spoken face journey they were going on, and focused on the biggest wound at hand. The knees were important, but this one was near vital organs. Merle had seen first hand how many hit points this had knocked out and it somehow managed to look worse than it did before.

“Barry and I figured it’s necrotic scarring.” Taako rushed out, Barry grumbling something beside him.

“Yeah,” Merle nodded softly. What he was finding aligned with that. He took a step back, able to look Taako in the eye without craning his neck. “I’m not death domain, Taako. I can’t reverse this. We could try to find a cleric who is--”

“They wouldn’t have a hundred cycles of experience. I’m not interested in letting them look at this.”

Huh. Merle didn’t bother to fight down the smile pulling at the edges of his beard. Taako didn’t return it by any means, but he scoffed and rolled his eyes, which Merle knew was basically the same thing.

“Merle, I…” Barry started, fidgeting with nothing for a moment. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m worried he’s getting worse.”

Just based on what he was seeing, what he knew of the wounds, that sounded right. But Merle looked to Taako instead. He seemed occupied fixing the hem of his shirt, fidgeting with the cuff of his sleeves. He didn’t notice the silence right away. When he did, he frowned. “What?”

“Has it been getting worse?” Merle asked.

If it had been literally any other conversation, Merle could have laughed at the face Taako pulled. Even with how serious he knew this conversation was, he was still tempted. Taako shifted his weight, leaning back slightly on the umbrastaff like he used to.

“It’s… uh…” His eyes seemed to go unfocused for a moment, as he stared at Merle. Merle knew that look from a copy he was familiar with over his own face. Seeing two versions of the same person, one you shared a century with and the other was your strange adventuring buddy.

Sometimes it was easier when they were just three idiots running around collecting magical items and laughing together as they nearly avoided death.

The person he was, when he met Taako the second time, was not someone Taako would trust with this confession. Merle wasn’t proud of that, but it was what it was. All he could do was take a deep breath and wait for which version of him Taako saw today.

Instead, Taako closed his eyes. They were screwed up tight, like if he couldn’t see, no one would hear his confession. “It’s worse. I didn’t have trouble walking a year ago.”

“Alright, glad we’re on the same page.” Taako opened one eye, glaring at Merle without much heat, but Merle continued. “And I’m glad you’re not waiting another year to tell me because this thing is going to kill you.”

Barry blanched at that, though Merle didn’t really understand his shock. The guy was a necromancer, this was how that arcana worked. Hell, he made the dang Bell, didn’t he know what it did?

Taako opened both eyes, expression blank for a moment until he moved the umbrastaff in front of him and leaning forward. His stance, his voice, his face, all of it was more certain and serious that Merle had heard in a while. “I don’t want to die.”

“Good.”

#the adventure zone #taz #taz taako #taz merle #merle highchurch #taz fic #dmi #this scene has been sitting in my drafts forever but i'm really pleased with how it turned out #that last line still resonates with me. the 'i dont want to die'#charmedwords

22 notes · View notes

calpalirwin · 5 years

Text

You’ll Always Have Me

Summary: Alyssa and Ashton have been best friends ever since Alyssa moved in across the street the summer before second grade. Together, they were tackling the stereotype that boys and girls can’t just be friends. That is, until they almost kissed right before their junior year of high school. Can their friendship survive the jealousy that stems from their newfound feelings? And what happens when they realize these “newfound feelings” really aren’t all that new?

And away, and away we go!

Chapter 6

~Alyssa~

I slammed the fridge shut a little harder than I meant to. “Jeez, you okay?” Sierra asked me, already halfway done with her water.

“I’m fine,” I smiled. In truth, I wasn’t. Why had he tried to kiss me? Why hadn’t I let him? Why did he have to get a girlfriend? Why did she have to come over? And why did I care so much?!

“Bull, you’re jealous as hell!”

“Yeah, no shit!” Sierra had been the first, and only, person I had told about my feelings for Ash and the kiss that didn’t happen, and I had sworn her to secrecy to never tell a soul. “What do I do?”

“Tell him the truth?”

“He’s my best friend.”

“So?”

“So, it’s weird! God, Si, do you know how many times I’ve seen him without a shirt on? It’ll ruin everything.”

“Suffer in silence for the rest of your life?” she suggested.

I nodded, “Much more plausible.”

“Yo.” Ash stuck his head through the door connecting the garage to the kitchen. “You two done hogging the water? Lu and I are dyin’ out here.”

“Quit bitchin’,” I said, tossing him two water bottles.

He caught them effortlessly and grinned, “I love it when you’re feisty.” He followed it up with a wink before disappearing back into the garage.

I slumped against the counter. “That,” I pointed towards the garage. “What was that?”

“The same shit he’s been saying to you for years. It’s just different now that you like him.”

I groaned. “This was so much easier when boys had cooties…” I pushed myself away from the counter and forced myself to relax, before I went back into the garage, Sierra on my heels.

Kayla had already arrived and was wrapped up in Ash, giggling. “Oh, hey, Aly!” she waved at me.

“It’s Alyssa,” I said through gritted teeth. Not even my own family called me “Aly”. Just Ash. Only Ash, and only because he had laughed with that 8 year old smile and his missing baby teeth. Fuck, I thought to myself as I allowed the memory to play in my head, had I always loved his dumb ass?

“C’mon, Lys,” Ash said with a hint of begging, causing me to cringe. Just like I hated when anyone else called me “Aly”, I absolutely hated when Ash called me by anything else.

“Whatever. You guys ready?” I asked, needing a distraction that only loud music could provide.

Luke and Sierra nodded, before picking up their guitars while I slid my guitar strap over my shoulder. “Ready, Ash?” I asked, looking over at him still tangled up in Kayla.

He pulled his lips away from Kayla’s and gave a twirl of his drumsticks with a practiced ease of having done so thousands of times before that I only now realized had always made my heart race. He took the lead in counting us in and we worked our way through our same set we had run through earlier, Kayla clapping and laughing the whole way through.

I wiped the sweat from my face and took a drink from my water bottle. “Call it or keep going?” I asked, breathing hard.

“Aw, is someone tired?” Ash teased, as he slicked back his hair.

“We all know you got plenty of arm strength, Ashy,” I shot back, getting him both with a joke at his expense and usage of the now-hated nickname.

“Whoa! One, too far with the “jacking off” joke. And two, ‘Ashy’? I thought we agreed that was off limits when we were eleven.”

“You started it,” I told him, sticking my tongue out at him, reverting to grade school tactics.

“And I’ll finish it,” he threatened, unscrewing the cap of his water bottle and coming towards me.

“Ashton Fletcher Irwin, if you get my guitar wet, I swear I will end you,” I warned, my voice a low growl.

“Alyssa Renee Clifford,” Ash fired back with the full name in fake-shock, “I would never.” The fake shock in his voice faded as a devilish grin crossed his face, and he leaned closer to me, “You, on the other hand…”

I gasped as the still-cold water dripped onto my hat and down my face. He turned away from me, laughing. Recognizing my chance, I threw myself at him, tackling him to the ground. He started to turn so I would bear the weight of the fall, but at the last second turned back so I wouldn’t get a face full of concrete. Both of us safely on the ground, he grabbed both of my wrists and rolled, pinning me to the ground. “Truce?” he breathed- those once-crooked-but-now-perfectly-straight teeth smiling at me, his dimple a crater in his perfect cheeks, shocks of his curly sandy blond hair falling into his dancing eyes, and the scent of his cologne bleeding into my shirt- leaving me a breathless, heart-racing mess beneath him.

“Truce,” I grunted, “Now, get off!”

He laughed again and pushed himself up before offering me his hand.

Kayla was eyeing us suspiciously, while Luke and Sierra, fully used to our antics ignored us. “Do you always fight like that?” she asked, chewing her lip.

“That wasn’t a fight, babe. That was just us messing around,” Ash reassured her, going to her and wrapping her in a hug.

“You’d know that if you ever took your lips off of his long enough,” I muttered under my breath.

“What was that?” Ash asked, looking over his shoulder at me.

“Nothing. I was agreeing with you.”

He raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything back.

“Oh, fuck!” I said, smacking my forehead in a fake sudden realization. “I gotta finish that essay for English class.”

“I thought you...” Sierra started until I shot her a death glare. “Oh! Right, you said you still had to write it,” she lied with me.

“Yeah, I should probably head over to my dad’s,” Ash huffed. He loved both his parents, but he hated going to his dad’s on the other side of town.

“Oh, shit, it’s Mark’s week?” I asked, even though I knew fully well that it was. “Tell him I say hi, yeah?”

“Yeah, for sure. He keeps hounding me that I don’t invite you over. I keep telling him it’s nothing personal, just all our stuff is here,” he said, resting a foot against his drum kit which had remained in its same spot in my garage for the past 2 years.

“Yeah,” I laughed, trying to make him feel better. Ash’s room at his dad’s still felt foreign, even after six years. Plus, I missed being able to look over at his bedroom window and see him, although I would die before I ever admitted that to anyone, including Si. “But, I’ll be over Wednesday with my dad.” Every Wednesday Ash’s dad hosted a poker game for all his dad friends.

“Yeah, we can practice some of our acoustic stuff!” Ash agreed, perking up again.

“What about me?” Kayla pouted, no doubt feeling ignored.

“Babe, you can come over whenever. Just give me a heads up, so I can clean my room.”

“Give him at least 2 business days, Kayla!” I cackled, a real laugh this time. Ash’s room had always been a mess. His version of clean included crooked stacks of books, his clean clothes dumped on a chair, and his bed made haphazardly. His parents had long ago stopped threatening to ground him over it once they realized that 1.) that was clean by Ash’s standards and 2.) he was going to sneak over to my place anyway. It helped that he kept his grades up, which is what they really cared about.

“Fuck off,” Ash laughed, crossing the garage towards me. “I’ll see ya later, ok?”

“Yeah, man.” Then, we did our secret handshake, which wasn’t really a secret so much as second nature at this point.

“What the hell?” Kayla asked, snickering in her hand. “Ashton, you’re too much.”

Ash turned bright red and my heart sank a little for us both. He passed his hand through his hair, giving it that cool disheveled look. It was something he did when he was nervous or embarrassed, and as much as I liked how it made his hair look, I hated when he felt the need to do it. He used to do it a lot as a kid, but now that he was developing some confidence in himself- a product of not looking like a dweeb anymore- he didn’t do it as much. I both missed it and was glad it was a fading tick. “Right, well… yeah.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, my heart racing again.

He picked up his water bottle, taking a last drink before grabbing Kayla’s hand and dashing across the street to his mom’s. I watched as the door swung shut on him and Kayla. “Hey, Lys, we’re headed out,” Sierra said, pulling me back into reality.

“Oh, yeah, cool. See ya, guys.”

“You okay?” Luke asked. “You look a little sick.”

I shook my head, “I’m good, Lu. I’m just…”

“Jealous as hell?” Sierra suggested.

I shot her a look that both begged her not to say another word and threatened bodily harm if Luke got wise of my crush on Ash..

Luke chuckled. “You know Lys hates sharing Ash. She only got comfortable with you being around him because you’re more her friend than his. She only lets me around him because I was friends with him first.”

“Yeah, Si,” I agreed. “I just like having my friend.”

#you'll always have me #chapter 6 #ashton irwin #5SOS #galcal irwin

8 notes · View notes

negasonicimagines · 6 years

Text

Gladdest (Soulmate AU)

For this, I’ll be using the soulmate AU where what happens to your soulmate’s body happens to you. I’m not sure who originally came up with this. Basically, how it works, is like, if your soulmate gets punched in the face, you feel like you’ve been punched in the face. If your soulmate dies, you don’t die, but you feel it. Same with broken bones, you’ll feel it, but your arm won’t actually be broken. But not just pain, other stuff. Like if your soulmate cries, you’ll feel it, but you don’t cry unless they’re super heartbroken, or if they get a really good hug you feel it, too. In my version of this AU, the pain and other feeling doesn’t start until you turn sixteen. Imagine how fucked up it would be if that wasn’t the case and you had a partner older than you? Like, while 13-year old Bill gets in a fight, his soulmate, who is only 3, feels the same punches and kicks. It’d be so fucked up.

warnings: nsfw (but no actual sex, just a lot of talking about it [and masturbation] and some sexually tense scenes), the reader nearly has a panic attack (again, i know, sorry. what can I say? I project), & reader has a thing for.... erotic asphyxiation. let me know if i missed anything.

I am very open to writing a part two with smut... I just chickened out with this because I felt it wouldn’t be good writing.

You’d been sixteen for a little while now, and there hadn’t been much contact from your soulmate aside from the occasional feel of a phone falling on your face and smacking it.

It’s the beginning of a new school year at Xavier’s, and you’re pretty thrilled. Your roommate this year is your best friend, Ellie. Okay, not just your best friend, she’s your crush, too. Do I really have to say, at this point?

“Hey,” she greets you, sounding rather sullen as she enters your dorm, where you sit on the edge of your bed.

“What’s up?” you ask.

“I turned sixteen over the summer and I haven’t felt anything to give me a hint. All my soulmate does is cry.”

“All my soulmate does is drop their phone on their face,” you offer a complaint in return, and the two of you lock eyes for a moment, one of realization.

“No,” Ellie says. “No.” She’s bright red, immediately thinking of just how many hot summer nights she was kept up, orgasm after orgasm after orgasm, gasping for breath at the way her soulmate’s fingers curled just right, just fucking right. There’s no way you, her crush and her best friend, were that good.

“No, can’t be,” you agree.

“Could be,” she reminds you.

“It’d make sense,” you admit.

“I hate everyone else but you.”

“We could try to find out,” you suggest.

She pinches herself.

“Ow! Not like that!” You whine, clutching at your arm. “Oh, well, I guess it’s too late th-” Ellie cuts you off with her eyes alone.

“Where does all that energy come from, Y/N?! What are you, the Energizer bunny?! At least three times a night, every night! What the hell?!”

You blush deeply, scratching the back of your neck. You hadn’t exactly expected you’d meet your soulmate anytime soon, or that they’d be bold enough to comment on your habits.

“I dunno, I thought it was normal for kids our age…” you mumble.

“Oh, yeah, well some people like sleeping and not screaming into the pillow because their soulmate has a little too much fun doing the five finger shuffle!”

“Please, louder. I think a few people in Antarctica didn’t hear you,” you retort, looking up at her from where you were sitting with a challenging expression.

“We’ve been friends for all this time and I never knew what a horny bastard you are,” she remarks.

“Well, I’m not the one who was ‘screaming’ in pleasure,” you mutter.

“I heard that!” she says, her expression still adorably indignant.

“If you hated it so much, you should’ve just got those over the counter meds, Antifel or whatever.”

“I- I…” She sighs. “Yeah, I didn’t hate it that much,” she admits, and you smile a bit. “But I wasn’t a fan of the choking,” she adds, gesturing at your scarf, your favorite one that she never would’ve guessed hides the bruises from where you’ve choked yourself with a belt, at least not before. “I’m more of a choker than a ‘chokee’, but, I guess that’d be obvious, wouldn’t it? Considering we’re soulmates and all.”

You nod, your eyes now on your lap, the floor, her tee shirt, the lamp in the corner, anything that isn’t her eyes, and she smirks.

“Oh, so now you’re shy?”

“A little,” you quietly reply, and she sits next to you on your bed.

“Let’s cool down,” she offers. “We’ve just seen each other after months of purely texting and the occasional phone call.”

“Thanks,” you respond, finding it easier to breathe.

“Why were you crying so much?” Ellie asks, addressing her original observation.

“Just depressed and lonely and stuff. I don’t have friends in my hometown, not like you.”

“You’ll always have me,” she says. “I mean it.”

“I’d hope so, soulmate,” you laugh off the seriousness of the conversation, and she sighs, looking to your eyes with her own soulful ones.

“I’m glad it’s you,” she tells you. “I don’t think I’d be able to stand anyone else.”

“Yeah, right!” you huff out a laugh, confused at her sudden emotional openness. Sure, she was more honest about her feelings with you than anyone else, but that didn’t mean that she was a completely open book. Who was?

“You’re not disappointed, are you?” Ellie wonders because of your remark.

“God, no! I- I actually have a really big crush on you,” you admit.

“Yeah?” she asks, the cutest little grin on her face, you know the one. “I have a crush on you, too.”

You blush again.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m not very good at flirting or anything like that. I don’t really care about much of anyone at all, and you’re definitely the only person I’ve really cared about in a romantic way, so…”

“No, it’s not that! I- You- You being really good at flirting is what’s got me like this. And the fact that I’m a dork who’s really bad at flirting contributes,” you explain.

“I am? Good at flirting, I mean.”

“Well, with me, at least,” you tell her.

“Um… Sorry if it’s lame to ask, but… Can I kiss you?”

“Of course! And it’s not lame to ask at all, El, I appreciate it actua- Mmf!”

You could live forever in the feeling of her lips on yours, her hands oh-so carefully holding your cheeks.

“Sorry,” she shyly says, as she slowly pulls away from you, looking in your eyes. “I’ve just been wanting to do that for a really, really long time. Pretty much since we met, actually.”

“R-really?” you ask, a bit breathless and definitely still flustered.

“Yeah, you’re perfect. In, like, every way. It’s the worst and the best.”

“I’m perfect?! But you’re- You’re you!” you argue, and she shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “I’m so lucky.”

“No, I’m the lucky one,” she disagrees.

“We can both be lucky,” you tell her, and she sighs.

“I suppose that’s a good compromise,” she decides. “So, what should we do before dinner? We’ve got a couple hours to kill, but I don’t think either of us has much more to say that wouldn’t be repetitive or… Something.” She blushes again, cheeks bright pink.

You blush back, reminded that she knew all about you and the things you did to yourself behind doors. “R-right,” you reply. Hey, you may be a horny motherfucker, but that doesn’t make you any less of a bottom.

“Can I see?” she asks, touching at your scarf. You nod, and she unwraps the scarf. She carefully touches the spotted bruises with her fingers. “With the belt you’re wearing?”

You can’t even speak. You nod, and the ghost of a smile graces her face before she just barely presses her lips to the bruises closest to her, on the side of your neck. Your hand quickly grabs her bicep tightly, and she stops, looking to you with concern.

“I’m so sorry, I got a bit carried aw-”

“No, no, it’s good, I’m just… Sensitive there,” you admit, and one of the biggest smiles you’ve seen her wear is on her lips.

“Yeah?” she asks, taking her crossbody bag off of her shoulder and opening it. She takes out a bottle of Antifel pills. “How sensitive?”

“Oh God, um… I- Um…” Your nerves are really getting to you, and your breathing gets heavier as you stare at the bottle. This is really happening. It’s really happening. You’d always wanted to, especially with her, but now that it’s a reality, you feel on the brink.

Ellie can recognize that look in your eyes, and it’s a look she’d hoped she’d never be the cause of.

“Shit, Y/N. What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“I- Um, I just- I want to? But I- I just- I don’t know, it’s just getting really hard to breathe, and uh, not in a hot way,” you joke nervously.

“Hey, you can want to and not be ready to right this minute. We haven’t even been on a date yet, okay? I’m really sorry if I made you feel like you had to do anything you didn’t want to,” Ellie tells you, and she feels immensely guilty either way.

“No! I liked you kissing me, especially where you did, but, you’re right. We should probably adjust to the news and put a label on whatever this is before we do anything too serious.”

Ellie nods. “You always were the more logical one. I’ll put these in the medicine cabinet and we can just… Talk about stuff, like we always do.”

“But with more kissing and cuddling, I hope?” you request, and she nods, going to put the bottle away before returning to find you bundled up in her comforter. “It’s so cozy…” you practically sing, at least to her.

“This is a dream,” she sighs happily, slipping off her shoes and joining you in her bed. You spoon her side, and she hums in content, stroking your hair.

“You’re in a good mood,” you comment. Ellie is not a very cheerful person, at least not openly. So, to see her like this was surprising.

“Yeah, of course I am. It’s you. It’s really you. I’ve never been happier in my life,” she says, having really been hit with the fact that you’re her soulmate. All hers. “All mine…” she hums.

“You really know how to make a girl feel special… I mean it. I’m really not all that.”

“Please be my girlfriend,” she requests.

“Only if you’ll be mine,” you reply, and she scoffs.

“I think that’s how that works, babe.”

Your heart skips a beat and you stare at her in wonder.

“Sorry for not asking if pet names were okay…It’s just something I like, it’s really stupid.”

“No, I really like it, hence the dumb stare and the lack of breathing.”

She chuckles, holding you tighter. You smile with her, glad that she’s happy.

“I hope you don’t feel like you have to over-exaggerate how happy you are. It’s okay if you’re not ridiculously happy about finding your soulmate.”

“Oh, no, I’m as happy as I sound. I’m, uh, definitely a textbook case of Lesbian That’s A Grumpy Bitch Til She Gets A Girlfriend. But then again, I’ll probably just be a significantly less grumpy bitch to everyone but you, sorry.”

“I don’t mind, I like you being your bitchy self,” you reply, being rewarded with a kiss placed atop your head that sends tingles dancing down your body. “Mm… I like that.”

“Good,” Ellie responds. “I’m glad.”

“I’m gladder,” you tease.

“I’m gladdest...”

62 notes · View notes

phosphorescent-naidheachd · 6 years

Text

Evaluating Sansa’s Betrayal in AGOT

@ John Hodgman, I cordially invite you to fight me over these comments in your 2016 intro to A Game of Thrones: The Illustrated Edition: “After all, it’s Sansa’s escapist addiction to the old tales and the romantic pablum of Florian and Jonquil that fuels her great, catastrophic betrayal of the actual humans around her.”

Although I’m a huge Sansa fan, I’m not one of those people who believes that she bears no culpability for the consequences of having told Cersei about her father’s intention to take them away from King’s Landing. BUT. To call her actions not merely a betrayal or even a catastrophic betrayal, but a “great, catastrophic betrayal” is utter bullshit, and by focusing solely on Sansa’s “escapist addiction” to romances, you’re flattening the factors behind her (admittedly poor) decision to trust Cersei, and indeed the factors behind her willingness to buy into those romantic songs in the first place. I understand the point you’re making, but I also think you’re rather overstating it.

Let’s break this claim down piece by piece, shall we?

1. Sansa’s “escapist addiction” to romances

There’s no denying that Sansa loves romantic tales and ballads, nor that---thanks to a sheltered childhood---she mistakenly believes them to be unalloyed truth. However, look at the context of her upbringing. Sansa has been raised in a patriarchal society that encourages her to believe in these songs, largely because they reinforce existing social roles and make her easier to control. Moreover, it’s clear that as of the beginning of AGOT, no authority figure has seriously tried to teach Sansa otherwise. I don’t believe this was done maliciously---I think that her parents and Septa Mordane don’t want to disillusion her quite yet, and assume that there’s still plenty of time left to teach her the realities of the world before she leaves Winterfell. (And if it weren’t for the death of Jon Arryn, they might even have been right! Though I also think there’s an element of self-delusion at work in this line of thinking, as I’ll get into later in #2.) I also get the sense that Sansa sometimes slips through the cracks a bit because she isn’t a ‘problem child’; Sansa is far from perfect, but she’s generally well-behaved and she naturally fits into the idealized Westerosi conception of a noblewoman. The gaps in her education and emotional maturity aren’t as immediately glaringly obvious as, say, Arya’s are, and that makes it easy for a busy adult to put those gaps on a back burner to deal with some nebulous time ‘later’. (Arya slips through the cracks too, but it’s a different set of cracks, if that makes any sense. Despite their differences, both Sansa and Arya are failed by prescribed Westerosi gender roles, but that’s a discussion for another day.)

Also, anyone who is reading ASOIAF for pleasure doesn’t really have a foot to stand on regarding enjoying escapist fantasies, IMO. The world of ASOIAF may be “brutal”, as you say, but that doesn’t mean visiting it isn’t a form of escapism. Fiction of any form is inherently escapist, even as it often acts as a mirror that forces us to confront aspects of our own reality. (I don’t know if I’d entirely agree that GRRM has “captured the authentic meanness of the medieval world” either, by the way---he notoriously makes certain aspects of life in Westeros worse than they were in RL medieval Europe---but that’s also a conversation for another day.)

To be certain, Sansa internalizes fictional narratives more than your average reader of the series, but that’s partially because, at least on a surface level, her life easily could become one that belongs in the songs she loves. For instance, long before King Robert suggests betrothing Sansa to Joffrey, it’s not wholly in the realm of fantasy for her to dream of marrying a prince; considering her position in life, it’s a solid potential actuality. (Once again, more on this later in #2.) Sansa doesn’t fully understand what being part of a song would mean for her---that is to say, high romance generally necessitates high tragedy---nor does she fully appreciate the responsibilities and costs associated with becoming royalty, but considering she’s eleven/twelve years old in AGOT? That’s perfectly normal for a noble girl her age, even within the context of the universe of ASOIAF. (Are there exceptions to this? Absolutely. But that’s what they are: exceptions.) Just look at Alla and Elinor and Megga Tyrell!

Furthermore, while there’s an element of escapism to Sansa’s love of songs---when we first meet her, Sansa can’t wait to go South and have her ‘real’ life begin---I would argue that Sansa doesn’t actively indulge in much escapism or self-delusion until after the Baratheons arrive at Winterfell. Even after seeing Joffrey’s cruelty at Ruby Ford, she forces herself---and him---into the narratives that she loves and has been implicitly taught that she should emulate right up to the point where denial becomes impossible (i.e. her father’s execution). This is because one of Sansa’s innate survival/coping mechanisms is her ability to lie to herself as much as to others; we see this most clearly in AGOT and in AFFC.* So when the events at the Ruby Ford occur in AGOT, Sansa’s initial instinct is to ‘forget’ what actually happened. (This is aided by the fact that Joffrey had been plying her with wine---far more, we’re explicitly told, than she’s ever been allowed to drink before.) It isn’t just that she doesn’t want her golden prince and fairytale future to have been a lie---though that’s certainly a key motivator!---or callousness towards a peasant boy or frustration with her sister’s refusal to play according to societal rules (though these are both certainly present), but it’s also that she’s being questioned about events in front of an audience... in front of individuals with tremendous power over her, both because they’re royalty and because they’re her future family members.

As Sansa has undoubtedly been taught, once a woman is married, her first loyalty must be to her husband and his family over the family of her birth. And while it’s true that betrothed is not the same thing as married, betrothals seem to be taken relatively seriously in Westeros. You can certainly argue that had Eddard Stark been aware of Joffrey’s true nature earlier, he would have broken the betrothal, but A. Sansa has no way to know that, B. breaking a betrothal is much easier said than done when dealing with royalty, especially when you’re going to be in close quarters with them for the foreseeable future, and C. as we’ll realize later, Ned is perfectly willing to let the (pretense of a?) betrothal stand if it will allow him to further investigate Jon Arryn’s death. What happened on the banks of the Trident was terrifying, it happened quickly, Sansa was tipsy, and if she speaks out one way or the other she’ll have to make a choice between her sister or the man who is going to be her husband... with deeply unpleasant consequences for herself (and likely Arya as well) regardless of which version of events she chooses to support. With all of this in mind, it’s easy enough for her to convince herself that it’s all a blur. So while Sansa’s (likely subconscious) decision to ‘forget’ what happened on the banks of the Trident isn’t admirable, it is understandable.

Ultimately, it isn’t Sansa’s fascination with romantic songs that fuels her poor decisions so much as it is the society that encourages her to believe in them. If notions like ‘baseborn < trueborn’, ‘outer beauty = inner goodness’, and ‘proper behavior = rewards’ weren’t given weight in real life---even if only on the surface---it would be much harder for her to cling to the version of reality that the songs are peddling.

Once again, none of this is to say that Sansa lacks all culpability for her actions due to her socialization. Sansa’s decisions are her own. My point is merely that her “escapist addiction” to romances isn’t the true root of the problem... it’s the society that created and perpetuated those songs to begin with.

*In AFFC, Sansa has consciously begun the process of being Alayne all the time as per Littlefinger’s words. (How well she’ll succeed in this---at least in the short term---is impossible to predict until we get TWOW.) She also has subconsciously transformed the memory of her encounter with Sandor Clegane during the traumatic Battle of Blackwater Bay into one that fits better in one of her beloved romances; in this altered memory, rather than threaten her in a sexually-tinged manner while holding a dagger to her throat, Sandor merely steals a kiss and a song.

Note that Sansa began this subconscious transformation of her memory in ASOS by adding in a kiss and taking away the dagger: “He'd come to her the night of the battle stinking of wine and blood. He kissed me and threatened to kill me, and made me sing him a song”. By the time AFFC has rolled around, however, she has seemingly eliminated the memory of his threats altogether, while still keeping in the kiss and using language vaguely reminiscent of a wedding’s cloaking and bedding: “She could still remember how it felt, when his cruel mouth pressed down on her own. He had come to Sansa in the darkness as green fire filled the sky. He took a song and a kiss, and left me nothing but a bloody cloak”.

2. Sansa’s betrayal of her family in King’s Landing

Sansa and Arya are both criminally unprepared for life at court in AGOT. This is somewhat excusable in that if Jon Arryn hadn’t died, they wouldn’t have needed to be prepared yet. However, anyone with a particle of political sense could have seen that there was a solid 90% possibility of Sansa becoming betrothed to Joffrey someday. There just aren’t that many daughters from the Great Houses of the right age in the Seven Kingdoms at this point in time. Add in the fact that the current king considers Eddard Stark his brother and was once betrothed to a Stark himself, and the likelihood of Sansa being chosen doubles or even triples.

So why haven’t Sansa’s parents and septa furthered her political education beyond knowing her sigils and courtesies? (Both of which are certainly important, but there’s only so far Sansa can go on them alone.) Sansa’s a tad young for a betrothal, but she’s not so young that her parents shouldn’t be making plans in that direction... Catelyn, after all, wasn’t much older than AGOT!Sansa when she was first betrothed to Brandon Stark. And even if they haven’t started making plans for Sansa, it’s very odd that Robb, the heir, is still unbetrothed at fourteen/fifteen.

The real reason, of course, is the Doylist one: GRRM needed to write it that way for the plot to work, just as he needed both Stark girls to be poorly chaperoned and without a proper retinue of ladies-in-waiting. From a Watsonian perspective, however, the primary answer is that both of the Stark parents---but particularly Ned---are suffering from PTSD from the events surrounding Robert’s Rebellion and subconsciously don’t want to teach their children these things or to plan too far ahead into their futures; to do so would mean acknowledging that their children are growing up and will eventually have to leave their circle of protection. This is especially true for their treatment of Sansa and Arya, since according to chivalric sexism, noble girls are ‘innocent’ and in need of protection longer than their male counterparts. Ned Stark in particular seems to feel the urge to shelter and indulge Sansa and Arya, likely due to the trauma of having watched his 16-year-old sister’s death. Besides, there’s always something more immediately urgent, which makes it easy for both parents to procrastinate. This isn’t to say that the Starks didn’t impart valuable lessons to their children, but at the end of the day, they still neglected certain key areas of their children’s education.

Unfortunately, not only are the Stark children unprepared for court politics, but no adult takes any steps to fix this problem once they know that the King is riding to Winterfell. No ‘onscreen’ steps are taken to prepare the Stark girls after Sansa’s betrothal to Joffrey is fixed, nor while traveling on the King’s Road, nor even during their time at King’s Landing. In fact, the closest we see to Sansa getting an education on what ruling might mean is when her septa takes her to watch her father acting as Hand in the throne room, and he is less than pleased about it: “He caught a glimpse of Septa Mordane in the gallery, with his daughter Sansa beside her. Ned felt a flash of anger; this was no place for a girl. But the septa could not have known that today's court would be anything but the usual tedious business of hearing petitions, settling disputes between rival holdfasts, and adjudicating the placement of boundary stones”. On one hand, Ned does have a point in wanting to protect his eleven-year-old daughter from hearing about the Mountain’s deeds; talk about nightmare fuel! On the other hand, he can’t protect her forever, and he brought a seven-year-old boy to watch an execution; there’s clearly a bit of a gender-based double-standard going on here.

Instead, the girls are poorly chaperoned by a single elderly septa, which is just begging for trouble... and trouble indeed arrives, starting with the events on the banks of the Ruby Ford. If Arya had been properly chaperoned, she never would have been able to run off to play with Mycah (the butcher’s boy), and if Sansa had been properly chaperoned, she wouldn’t have been placed in a position where she was the sole eyewitness to the incident with Joffrey, Arya, and Mycah. But that’s just one incident, you say? Don’t worry, there are plenty of others, the clearest one being the time that Septa Mordane gets drunk and falls asleep at a feast, leaving Sansa entirely at the mercy of Joffrey, Sandor, and anyone else who might walk by.

Moreover, Ned knows that the Lannisters aren’t trustworthy. He knows that something is rotten in King’s Landing. Arya gets a very vague warning (“We have come to a dark dangerous place, child. This is not Winterfell. We have enemies who mean us ill. We cannot fight a war among ourselves”) from him, but Sansa doesn’t even get that. I’m not saying that he necessarily should have told Sansa about his investigation, mind you---that’s a large burden to place on any child, AGOT!Sansa is not good at intentional deception yet, and she likely wouldn’t have initially believed him anyway. This doesn’t change the fact that Ned should have told her something to help prepare her for the very real dangers of King’s Landing. He should have known better than to believe that keeping Sansa ignorant would keep her safe; just look at the brutal murders of Aegon and Rhaenys Targaryen for a start...

Yes, the Queen and Prince are directly responsible for Lady’s death, and yes the king is indirectly responsible for not stopping it, but once again: Sansa is a preteen girl. Of course she doesn’t want to believe that the family she’s going to marry into is truly at fault for the loss of her direwolf or that all of her long-held dreams are just illusions. It’s easy as a reader to say that that event and the murder of Mycah should have been warning enough for Sansa, but from Sansa’s perspective it’s not nearly so clear, especially since Joffrey framed his torture of Mycah as traditional courtly behavior (i.e. ‘defending’ Arya, who is a highborn maiden and the sister of his betrothed). For one thing, Sansa doesn’t have all the clues we as readers do to let us know that the Baratheon-Lannisters are Bad News(TM). (In fact, unlike the rest of the Stark children, Sansa has no notion that there might be serious enmity between the houses of Lannister and Stark---as opposed to just between Jaime Lannister and her father---until it’s too late.) For another, while her father might have protested Lady’s execution, he still went along with it in the end without much of a fight, so it’s not as though the royal family are the only ones to have ‘betrayed’ her. Besides, her father is still friends with Robert and she’s still betrothed to Joffrey... that wouldn’t be the case if the royal family was untrustworthy or cruel, would it? Of course not.

When Ned tells the girls that they’re leaving King’s Landing, he never actually explains why and he refuses to let them so much as say goodbye to anyone. It’s only natural that Sansa is confused and upset by this! From her perspective, this drastic action came out of nowhere. She certainly doesn’t understand that going to Cersei is dangerous or a betrayal. She sees it as ‘my father’s being unreasonable, so I’m going to go to my mother(in-law-to-be) and ask her to talk some sense into him and fix everything’.

While Cersei was the one to push for Lady’s death, Sansa has otherwise only ever gotten a sympathetic impression of Cersei; when around Sansa, Cersei has appeared solely as a courteous queen and the dignified victim of her husband’s drunken abuse. If Sansa wants to stay in King’s Landing, who else can she go to? Her father refuses to listen to her protestations or to explain anything to her, her septa only says that she shouldn’t question her father, and most of her other acquaintances don’t have any sway over her father’s decisions. That only leaves the Royal family, but Sansa finds King Robert too intimidating to approach alone. (“The king could command Father to let her stay in King's Landing and marry Prince Joffrey, Sansa knew he could, but the king had always frightened her. He was loud and rough-voiced and drunk as often as not, and he would probably have just sent her back to Lord Eddard, if they even let her see him.”) And although Sansa believes herself in love with her “gallant prince” Joffrey, she seems to find him intimidating too, if this quote of hers from a feast is any indication: “Sansa looked at him and trembled, afraid that he might ignore her or, worse, turn hateful again”. Ultimately, that leaves Cersei as Sansa’s only real choice.

Sansa is short-sighted and selfish when she tells Cersei what little she knows of her father’s plans, but she isn’t actively trying to choose sides in a war, let alone betray anyone. She’s a preteen who just wants her life to go back to what it’s ‘supposed’ to be according to what she’s been taught; what, up until now, it more or less has been. Right now, the worst thing she can imagine happening is what’s already happening---her father forcing her away from the glittering court, from her beloved Joffrey, and from her future as Queen. She knows her father will be angry with her for disobeying him, but it will all work out for the best this way, right?

3. How “great” and “catastrophic” Sansa’s betrayal actually was

Finally, let’s tackle the “great, catastrophic” part of Sansa’s betrayal. When Sansa goes to Cersei, she’s largely only confirming what Cersei already knew. And how did Cersei know this information? Because Eddard Stark himself told her as part of his warning. (In fact, if we go by the calculations by the brilliant people who put this exhaustive ASOIAF spreadsheet together, there were 3-4 days in between when Ned confronted Cersei and when Sansa went to her.) The only new information Sansa provided Cersei with was that her father wanted to get herself and Arya away--something that Cersei had likely already surmised--as well as the date, time, and location for that departure, thus giving Cersei a more complete and specific understanding of Ned’s plans.

In practical terms, this means that the primary consequence of Sansa informing Cersei was to negate Ned’s ability to get Sansa, Arya, and other members of the Stark household safely out of King’s Landing before shit started to go down. (Of course, keep in mind that even if Sansa hadn’t gone to Cersei, the success of that plan wasn’t a forgone conclusion.) Now don’t get me wrong, if Ned’s plan to get his household out of the city had worked, that would have been a tremendous improvement over what happened in the original canon timeline, not only for Sansa and Arya, but also for the many innocent Stark retainers who were killed by guards at the Red Keep and for poor Jeyne Poole. That said, it wouldn’t necessarily have changed all of the catastrophic things that happened to the Stark family as a whole. Chances are good that Ned still would have been executed for his ‘treason’ or been quietly offed in his cell. And once Ned was killed, the North’s involvement in the war became pretty much inevitable. Any consequences beyond that are difficult to accurately predict due to the butterfly effect, but I highly doubt the Starks’ lives would have been all rainbows and butterflies. There’s a war ahead, and their enemies include people like Petyr Baelish, Tywin Lannister, and---unless they end up allying with (f)Aegon in this AU---eventually Varys and Illyrio Mopatis. The remaining Starks’ lives probably would have been less traumatic than in canon, but that’s not exactly a high bar to clear, y’know?

Conclusion:

What happens to the Starks in ASOIAF in general and in AGOT in particular is catastrophic... but Sansa’s actions in AGOT are not the primary cause. Petyr Baelish, Lysa Arryn, the Lannisters, the Boltons, the Freys, Varys... even Ned and Catelyn Stark themselves are more immediately at fault for what befalls the Stark family than Sansa. (Which isn’t to say that all of the above parties are even remotely equally culpable!)

One of Sansa’s tragedies is that she embodies and does everything her society has told her she ought to be and do as a Westerosi noblewoman and she still gets screwed over. Everyone gets screwed over by the Westerosi patriarchy, highborn and low, man and woman; even girls who naturally fit into the mold of Westerosi womanhood and possess almost every possible societal advantage aren’t safe. As many of our protagonists of ASOIAF learn, following the chivalric rules of the songs will aid you to a certain degree, but it will only protect you as long as everyone else is playing by those rules too; and, as Petyr Baelish warns Sansa---though admittedly not without external motives---“life is not a song”.

That said, a portion of the ASOIAF fanbase has misunderstood part of the point of this series. Yes, unalloyed belief in the romantic songs is stupid and will only lead to self-delusion and disaster and heartbreak, but that doesn’t mean that we should discount the songs altogether either. Don’t get me wrong: many of the messages propagated by Sansa’s songs are bullshit. The good are not always beautiful, and the beautiful are not always good. Most people aren’t entirely ‘good’ or ‘bad’. ‘Moral’ choices are not always rewarded and ‘immoral’ choices are not always punished. In fact, there isn’t always a clearcut ‘right’ moral decision available, just different gradients of bad ones. Heroism isn’t always sallying forth with a sword, and sallying forth with a sword is not always heroism. A person’s social status or adherence to social ideals is no indicator of their quality as a person. And so on.

However, it is in romantic songs like the ones that Sansa so loves that we also find ideals worth striving towards... ideals like selfless love, loyalty, justice, kindness, duty, and mercy. Just because those ideals may not reflect reality or may be warped by an imperfect society is no excuse not to try to make them reality when and where we can, whether we are successful in it or not. In fact, it is because reality does not always reflect or reward these ideals that they are so important. Without hope for something better and a willingness to work towards it, we’re left with a world filled with only Tywin Lannisters, Petyr Baelishes, Cersei Lannisters, and Gregor Cleganes... and that would be a sad world indeed.

When Sandor Clegane says the following to Sansa in ACOK, we aren’t supposed to agree with him: “There are no true knights, no more than there are gods. If you can't protect yourself, die and get out of the way of those who can. Sharp steel and strong arms rule this world, don't ever believe any different". The truth lies somewhere in between the brutality of so much of the world and the perfection of the songs. Most knights may not be ‘true’ knights and the ‘truest' of knights may not be actual knights at all, but that doesn’t mean that the concept is without value. That doesn’t mean that the purpose of ‘true’ knights is worthless. You shouldn’t count on being saved by the actions a ‘true’ knight or by acting like a ‘true’ lady, but you should evince the best qualities of those roles yourself.

ASOIAF is absolutely about death and betrayal and despair, but it’s also about love and loyalty and hope. It’s about existential romanticism and existential triumph. It’s about looking the abyss in the eye, but refusing to let yourself become it.

I think you understand this, at least in part, because you yourself say in the introduction that “This [the fact that so many of the characters suffer, often pointlessly, and fail] may sound very bleak and cynical, but it ends up being the glory of the novel. Because it makes the triumphs, when they come, more earned, human, and exciting. It reminds us of and honors our own victories, helps us make sense of our own reversals, and warns us against our vanities.”

A Game of Thrones may not be “very kind to fantasy”, but I would argue that GRRM is quite fond of fantasy; he just wants us to remember that neither the trappings of high fantasy (crowns, tourneys, magic, wars, etc.) nor true heroism ever come without a cost.

In conclusion: I understand where you’re coming from, and I understand that you didn’t have the necessary amount of space in your introduction to go into this level of detail, but... (ง'̀-'́)ง

#am i overreacting here due to YEARS of fans saying that sansa is The Worst Ever(TM) for making this mistake? quite possibly lol #but this is a meta that's been percolating in my head for quite a while & was going to be written even before i read hodgman's intro #sansa stark #asoiaf meta #sansa stark meta #a game of thrones meta #asoiaf #a game of thrones #meta #asoiaf women #things done by phos #long post #team sansa #cersei lannister #eddard stark #arya stark #septa mordane #joffrey baratheon #sandor clegane

230 notes · View notes

tea-and-procrastination · 7 years

Note

our universe is not this one; i can live with that (but i cannot bear it)

Inone universe they are the best of friends. Bernie does not fall head overheels, they do not kiss, Serena does not have a mid-life Sapphic revelation.They are still inseparable, are still each other’s first port of call, stilllove each other fiercely – but it is never other than platonic, in thought orin deed.

Inanother universe Serena had kissed agirl in Stepney. When Bernie kisses her she doesn’t panic because she hasalready acknowledged and accepted this part of herself. There is no awkwardnessor confusion, no crossed wires, no suggesting keeping things confined totheatre. Serena kisses Bernie back just as enthusiastically, when the nexttheatre team comes in looks at her with burning eyes and murmurs, ‘Later,’ withsuch wanting that Bernie moans.

Inanother universe Bernie is not a coward and does not run to Kyiv when Serenamentions falling in love.

Inanother she does go but Serena comes to visit her, and Bernie speeds throughher work as quickly as possible so she can come home to her.

Inyet another she runs and stays far longer than she should have, but when shefinally comes back she tells Serena she couldn’t stop thinking about her, andSerena kisses her like it’s the only thing she’s wanted to do the entire timethey were apart.

Inthis universe, though? In this universe Bernie comes back from Ukraine ready tobeg Serena’s forgiveness with a poorly wrapped bottle of wine and a speech shespent the entire journey writing and rewriting in her head, ready to expose herheart and confess her feelings – only to find that Serena has moved on.

It’shardly her place to complain, of course, or to comment at all really. She wasthe one who left, after all, the one who didn’t reply to Serena’s texts oremails, thereby relinquishing any stake in Serena’s love life.

Shemakes an effort to like Robbie, because Serena seems happy and he and Jason aregetting on, squashes down the longing every time she sees them together – thefeeling that that could have been me.She volunteers to work the Christmas Day shift so Serena can have it off,spends the evening with Cam and Charlotte and ignores the ache in her heartwhen Serena sends her a selfie complete with paper hat and mince pie, feels Camhug her a little tighter and is grateful he doesn’t say anything.

Timemoves on. The problem is, however much she tries, Bernie does not. She hasaccepted that they were not meant to be, takes some measure of comfort from themany worlds interpretation, from the thought that somewhere there is a versionof reality in which she wasn’t a coward and they are happy together – even ifit can’t be this reality. Serena is happy, and that’s what matters most.They’re friends still, somehow; Jason likes her and even Elinor more thantolerates her. She’s a part of Serena’s family and is allowed to love her andcare for her and see her vulnerable. It’s enough, it’s more than she deservesreally. If only her heart would get the message.

Bernieis hardly unused to unrequited love or hiding her feelings, but she allowsherself to flirt with Serena because Serena flirts with her, and that’s justhow they are; in theatre it’s like nothing has changed. But then they’ll stepout onto the ward and Robbie will be waiting in their office, will greet Serenawith a kiss and take her out for dinner, and Bernie will be left alone, fistsclenched and eyes screwed shut, her carefully constructed, calm acceptancemomentarily shaken.

Itbecomes easier, with time. And then it becomes harder again, for no discerniblereason. Bernie finds herself wondering if acceptance has an expiry date,wonders if there’s only so much of Serena she can be exposed to before she’lllose her mind. Serena goes through a rough patch with Robbie, and it takes allBernie’s willpower not to tell her to just dump him. She watches as Robbiegrovels with expensive bouquets and jewellery and dinner, as Serena forgiveshim and begins to smile more again, as they talk of moving in together. Sheforces a smile, ignores Serena’s questioning frown, hides behind her fringebecause she can’t risk Serena seeing the anguish in her eyes. Because thatwould be it, wouldn’t it – the end of there being even the slightest chance forher? But maybe it would be for the best.

‘Forgod’s sake would you just do something about it?’ Dom pleads one afternoon onthe roof. He knows, of course – she told him, had to tell someone and trustshim, but he’d probably have known anyway.

‘Ican’t. She’s happy, I’m not going to selfishly ruin that. I had my chance, Imessed it up.’

‘Isshe really, though? I mean, is she actually truly happy?’ he asks, and Berniefrowns. ‘Sure she’s happy enough, but I think maybe she’s just settling.’

Berniestares at him, eyes wide and brows knotted.

‘You’renot the only one who’s pining, Bernie,’ Dom says gently. ‘I’ve seen the way shelooks at you.’

‘Butwhat about Robbie? And why hasn’t she just said something?’

‘OhI don’t know, maybe the way you buggered off to the other side of the continentat the first mention of feelings might have something to do with it?’

‘Iwas such an idiot,’ Bernie moans, burying her face in her hands. ‘A stupid,cowardly idiot.’

‘Well,yes,’ Dom agrees, bumping his shoulder against hers. ‘But you could start beingbrave.’

Berniehas always found bravery to be fleeting, to need seizing in the instant beforeit drains away. She thinks about what Dom said as she jogs down the stairs,thinks about how Serena has looked at her and smiled at her – compares it tohow she smiles at Robbie and thinks she comes out on top. She bursts onto AAUready to do – she isn’t quite sure what, but something.

There’sa huddle of junior doctors and nurses around the nurses station, all lookingtowards the office with a mixture of curiosity and concern. Bernie’s about toask why no work is getting done despite them having a ward full of patientswhen she hear Serena’s raised voice.

‘No,Robbie, I am not retiring and movingto the bloody Cotswolds with you! I don’t know what ever gave you the idea thatthat was something I wanted.’

‘ButSerena, we could–’

‘No,’she says firmly. ‘Clearly you don’t know me at all, haven’t been listening tome all these months.’

‘Ijust thought you wanted the same thing as me.’

‘Idon’t,’ Serena says icily. ‘I think you should leave.’

‘Fine.I’ll see you later?’

‘Idon’t think so, Robbie.’

‘Youmean you’re breaking up with me – over this?’ he asks incredulously, and Berniebarely keeps from rolling her eyes as she exchanges a glance with Raf.‘Seriously, Serena?’

Itgoes quiet for a few minutes, Robbie clearly trying to convince Serena. Andthen the door opens and everyone pretends to be working as he walks out andleaves the ward.

Berniegives it a moment and then firmly orders everyone to get on, takes a deepbreath and goes into the office, closing the door behind her. Serena is sat ather desk, shaking with anger and tears; when Bernie touches her shoulder shemelts into her, allows herself to be held.

Berniejoins her and Jason for tea that evening, Serena sitting close to her andsnuggling in as they watch Mary Beard.

‘I’mjust so cross with myself, Bernie,’ she admits when Jason has gone up to hisroom. ‘I should’ve realised he wasn’t joking when he said I should retire.’

‘Hewas an idiot if he couldn’t see how much you love medicine,’ Bernie sayssoftly, squeezing her shoulder.

‘Thankyou,’ Serena smiles.

‘You’revery welcome,’ Bernie replies.

Shecan’t do anything now, she thinks. It would look opportunistic, would seem likeshe’s preying on Serena when she’s weak and vulnerable – not that Serena iseither of those things, although she is dull for a little while, cross anddisappointed with herself. Bernie plies her with coffee and treats, takes herto the cinema, cooks dinner for her and Jason, even does some of her paperworkfor her, does everything she can to make her happy. One morning she comes inwith her spark back, and Bernie is lost all over again. It’s just like before,all flirting and teasing, and Serena is so happy Bernie decides she isn’t goingto rock the boat.

‘Idiot,’Dom says frankly when she tells him. ‘Can’t you see this is exactly where you were before? It’s likeyou’ve been offered a chance to go back in time and get it right – why wouldn’tyou take it?’

ButBernie ignores him and does nothing, because what they have now is wonderful.Until Jasmine is injured and they have to fight for her life. Until they’reslumped together on the floor of the theatre and Serena says shakily that thiswas all her fault, that if she hadn’t shouted at Jasmine then she wouldn’t haveleft the ward, would have been safe.

Bernielooks at her, stunned. ‘This isn’t your fault, Serena. How could you possibly haveknown this would happen? And Jasmine thinks the world of you, thinks you’re thebest surgeon in the entire hospital.’

‘Jasminethinks Jac’s the best surgeon in the hospital,’ Serena corrects her.

‘Ok,yes,’ Bernie admits. ‘But she’s biased. I happen to think you’re an incredibledoctor though. Pretty incredible woman all round, really.’

‘Aren’tyou biased too?’ Serena asks – almost hopefully, Bernie thinks.

She’sstruck with such a strong sense of déjà vu, wonders if Serena is thinking of thefirst time they kissed too, wonders what feelings the memory stirs in her. Andthen she sees Serena’s eyes flick down to her lips and she thinks, fuck it, I can’t bear it any longer,consequences be damned.

Serenameets her halfway, grasps her gown and moans against her lips.

‘Definitelybiased,’ Bernie murmurs when they draw apart for breath, foreheads restingtogether.

Serenalaughs, opens her eyes and gazes into Bernie’s. ‘We’re going to get it rightthis time,’ she vows, fingers carding through Bernie’s hair.

‘Yes,’Bernie agrees, lips ghosting across Serena’s again, again, smiling at the feelof Serena’s smile.

‘Starting,’Serena says on her third attempt, once she’s forced herself to pull back justout of Bernie’s reach, ‘with you coming home with me tonight.’

[send me a made-up fic title and i’ll tell you what i would write to go with it]

#berena #fanfic #ficlet #prompt #matildaswan #might stick this on ao3 sometime too #i have a backlog of these now #but hey if you don't mind waiting i'll consider others too #i wrote a thing

132 notes · View notes

lolainblue · 7 years

Text

Thunderbirds Chapter 30

T/W: Alcohol use, smut

Jared raised his cup. “Never have I ever slept with one of my teachers.”

I left my cup sitting in front of me and looked over at the sofa where Jane sat next to Roger, shaking her head as she took a drink. She had kept herself inches from him ever since she had gotten him back up from his crash on the sidewalk. I'd never seen anyone's mood change as fast as Roger's had. He'd barely spoken in the car and by the time we had started unwrapping the food we'd picked up he was fighting back tears while he talked about what a misfit and an emotional failure he was. Jane had fed him and handed him tissues and held his head against her chest until the worst of it passed. Now that we were getting plowed his mood certainly seemed to be lifting.

As I drank and watched them together, my brain slowly returned to its normal, slightly pickled state and my intuition that had been on vacation for the last three days returned. I began to gain some clarity and I saw Jane and Roger in a whole new light. They were yin and yang on a completely different level. Roger's outer-self matched Jane's inner-self and vice versa. Roger came off as this wild, adventurous, somewhat rogue-like figure, charismatic, optimistic and capable, the kind of person who problems seemed just roll off of, like water off a duck's back. In reality, he was kind, tender, emotionally vulnerable and in need of approval. He only seemed fearless because his natural personality was so over the top you just automatically assumed he had to be fearless to go through life that out there. The truth was I think he just didn't know how to be anything other than what he was, and he was as desperate for love and validation as the rest of us. And then there was Jane, who seemed so incredibly normal and practical and tenderhearted, but I was becoming increasingly convinced that was a facade built by years of trying to fit in and not be relentlessly picked on. Inside she was the wild, fearless, resilient person Roger appeared to be. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous, there was a closeness there that I was sure Jane would never share with anyone else. But then again, Jared and I had always been our own private club. Just as Jane and Roger came as a package deal, so did Jared and I. And since I liked Roger, and Jane and Jared mostly seemed to like each other, recent blood feud aside, I figured it was something I could learn to live with.

The longer I watched them, and the more I saw the way Roger needed Jane's care, the more ashamed of my behavior that morning I became. This wasn't Jane blowing me off to go to a movie with her buddy. This was important. And she was including me as much as she could in it. I had been a complete fucking asshole. And that was the other startling revelation I was coming to.

I had known Jane had become disillusioned with me after watching videos of me partying and goofing off with the guys. I had tried to fix her disappointment by cleaning myself up the way I imagined she wanted. I'd cut way back on the drinking, quit partying and picking up girls and tried to become a more responsible version of myself. After all, when people objected to me, those always seemed to be the reasons why. But that hadn't fixed what had upset Jane, all it had done was make me cranky and not much fun to be around. Jane had objected to the way I was with other people, the way I had become arrogant, callous and rude. She had told me on the phone that first night, but I had only heard the version of her objection I wanted to. It was easier to stay out of a few bars than to change the way I interacted with other people. No wonder she had flown off the handle the minute I started in with that bullshit. I had shown Jane just how right she had been. I was surprised she was still speaking to me.

Kevin didn't last very long into the game, just as he seemed to be working up a good buzz he decided to call it a night. I'm pretty sure he was going to call his girlfriend, which meant I'd be hearing about it tomorrow. Not too long after he left, Jane's phone rang. I knew it was Angus before she said anything, just from the sick look on her face. She quieted us before answering.

“Hey sweetie,” she answered. Her voice was sugary but her face looked like she was smelling a dead rat. I was reminded again how very bad Jane was at deception. I hoped she could pull this off. “How are things?”

Jane got up from her spot on the sofa and started pacing the room as she listened to Angus spin whatever bullshit story he was using to cover up his little Italian rendezvous. They continued their little chit chat for about five minutes, Jane telling Angus she had 'gone to visit friends' instead of seeing her brother this week. He apparently wasn't happy about this, because Jane started spluttering and trying to explain why she hadn't come to see him. Which really fucking pissed me off, I knew he didn't want her to fly out there, he wasn't even there, he just wanted to make her feel bad. This guy was a real asshole. Jane eventually told him that Roger had broken up with his girlfriend, she was busy cheering him and wanted to get back to him and ended the phone call. When she hung up she collapsed onto the bed. The room was silent as we waited to see what her response was going to be, I was afraid she was going to start crying again, but she got back up and poured herself another shot and then locked eyes with Jared.

“Never have I ever been faithful to someone I was engaged to.” Jared stared back at her. No one drank. Well shit. Why hadn't I thought of that tactic? Jane laughed dryly. “Well fuck me then,” she said, taking her penalty drink.

“Janey....” I started cautiously but her face had turned stony and I knew the discussion was over.

“Isn't it your turn?” she asked Roger.

Roger quickly picked up his drink. “Never have I ever told someone I loved them just so they'd have sex with me.”

I took a drink before realizing how bad it would look, after everything Jane was already thinking about me. If there was ever a time to cheat at his game, that would have been it. But as I swallowed the last of the whiskey in my glass Jane looked at me like she had never seen me before. “I was like sixteen, I was an asshole...” I tried to explain but she just shook her head and looked away. I couldn't help glaring at Roger. It was Jared's turn next.

“Never have I ever called out the wrong name in the middle of sex.” I started to laugh but then Jane threw her shot back, got up, stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door. Roger rolled over onto his back on the sofa with a groan.

“Great timing there, asshole,” he said.

“What? Like I knew? What the hell is the big deal?” Jared walked over to the bathroom door and tapped on it softly. “Jane? I'm sorry if I upset you. It's just a game. Don't be embarrassed.” There was no response from the other side and so Jared went to sit back down in the seat Jane had vacated.

“Do I want to know why she's so upset?” I asked Roger.

“That's her story to tell, not mine, “ he replied. He shifted a little bit so that he could throw his legs across Jared's lap. “So are we still drinking or are we going to wait for Lady Jane's tantrum to be over?”

Jared grabbed the bottle of Ouzo that Jane and Roger had been sharing and refilled Roger's cup. “We're still drinking. Who's turn is it?

“Kevin's.” I pointed out. I thought about trying my hand at getting her to open the door back up but I figured she could probably use a few minutes to calm back down. “I'll go. Never have I ever required medical attention after sex.”

That one was aimed at Jared. He spluttered and laughed and took a big drink. He didn't drink often anymore and he was already pretty sloshed at this point but I figured the easy laugh would lighten the mood.

“What the hell, man. I'm pretty adventurous and even I have never been that bad,” Roger snickered.

“Yeah, it's not as interesting as it sounds,” Jared explained. “I fell off the bed.”

“It's still a great Never Have I Ever question.” I pointed out.

I waited for another few rounds and when Jane still hadn't come out I took my bottle and sat down in front of the bathroom door. “Jan-ey,” I slurred at the small gap above the threshold. “Please open the door.” When I got no response I laid flat on the floor, trying to peer through the tiny opening. I thought I could make out the shadow of her feet but that was it. “Please at least make some noise or something, let me know you're okay.”

Three loud, slow, thumps came from inside the bathroom and I could almost hear the irritation in them. I sighed and took another drink and prepared for a long wait.

Jared and Roger had stopped playing and were just drinking and talking instead. Roger was going on about how some people just weren't cut out for relationships, that he should know better by now, that he really should just stick to sex, and Jared kept refilling his glass and agreeing with everything he said. I thought that was probably true for Jared, he always had other priorities, and I had been surprised when he told me about his plans to get married. I hadn't given much thought to my own position on the subject. I sort of thought of getting married like it was some inevitable thing that would probably happen to me but it wasn't anything I was chasing after or even particularly looking forward to. I could take it or leave it. I liked having Jane around, and every time we were together I immediately started pining for something more substantial than my usual flings, but even then I really never thought about what exactly that was. What did I want from Jane, really? And what would she be willing to give me if I asked? Did she want me that way too? I was convinced she was the one for me when we were together in Los Angeles, but I was having a much harder time getting a read on her now.

“Janey, baby, please come to the door,” I called again, letting my knuckles fall lazily against the cheap plywood. When she didn't respond I realized things had gotten strangely quiet. I turned over to look back at the sofa and saw Jared and Roger stretched out against each other, their legs tangled together, no longer talking. I groaned and thumped my head against the carpet. “Could you two at least take it back to your room?” I asked, but they ignored me. Jared just sighed and slipped his hand underneath Roger's shirt.

“Janey, help,” I pleaded, knocking a little more forcefully on the door. “Please come get your best friend off my brother.”

I could hear some shuffling around and I guess curiosity got the better of her because the door finally opened. She looked at me, lying on the floor, heavy lidded and bottle in hand, and then looked over at the sofa where Jared and Roger were making wet little noises while they groped each other.

“I turn my back for fifteen minutes and this is what happens?” she said, barely hiding her amusement. Roger sat up and gave her a sheepish shrug.

“Seriously, guys, I don't care what you do but don't do it in here,” I told them. “I'm not in the mood for a foursome.”

“Gosh, look at the time,” Roger said with a grin. “Jared, I think we'd better clear out so these two have plenty of time for bible study and prayer before bedtime.”

Jared got up and held his hand out to Roger, who took it before standing up. “Yeah, Jane, don't forget to get down on your knees,” he said with a wink. Then the two of them swept out of there, leaving Jane and me completely alone for the first time since Roger had swept into town.

I turned around and looked at Jane again. She was still dressed casually, and her hair had been taken down from her ponytail, her curls allowed to run riot down her shoulders. I was overcome with a powerful feeling of nostalgia, remembering another game of Never Have I Ever, where Jared and Roger slipped off together as I waited on Jane to emerge from the bathroom. I decided it was long past time for a do-over. I stepped in front of Jane.

“New game. Truth or Dare. You choose dare,” I told her. She immediately broke into a smile. “I dare you to kiss me.”

She closed the distance between us, grabbed the back of my head and crashed her mouth into mine. When her tongue split the seam of my lips it tasted like it had been dipped in licorice. I wished we'd had Goldschlager again instead. I preferred cinnamon.

I pulled Jane backward towards the bed, my hands already traveling under her shirt since this time we had no need to worry about privacy. To my surprise, she pushed them away.

“Convince me,” she urged, her lips at my ear, warm breath tickling my skin and filling me with need. “Don't assume I'm yours. Make me want to stay.”

I stopped to look at her. Her cheeks were red and her pupils dilated, and I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or lust. She was much drunker than that first night. I wasn't even sure what she meant by that. “Make me want to stay.” Was she thinking of leaving me? Was she thinking of staying past this week? I pushed my questions aside and kissed her for all I was worth, diving into her like she was an oasis in a desert. I could feel her breathing get quicker, her little sighs becoming soft moans as her song began again. I dropped to my knees in front of her, planting a tender kiss on her stomach before wrapping my arms around her legs and resting my head.

“Please, Janey,” I said. My head was swimming and I wasn't sure if it was alcohol or lust in my case either. “Please.”

My last plea came out like a sob, and I realized I had been begging before I even knew what the question was. “Please don't leave me again Jane. Please want me as much as I want you.”

Jane immediately dropped to her knees as well, pulling our heads together as she took in trembling breaths. “Why don't you already know that I do?” she asked me. “Besides Roger, you're the only thing in this world right now that I'm not confused about.”

I heard the words but they still didn't penetrate whatever fog was around my heart. I resumed kissing her again, as feverishly as before, my hands at her back cradling her against me as I devoured her. She pulled my shirt over my head, her resistance melting away as unexpectedly as it had shown up.

Not wanting to chance whatever had happened on that motel room floor in the past I lead her back onto the bed, pulling her clothing away and covering every newly exposed inch of skin in wet kisses. She purred and stretched beneath me as her mouth and fingers traveled my skin as it was revealed to her as well. I nibbled my way down her stomach as I headed toward her core, eager to taste her, knowing how much she loved my tongue on her clit, but to my surprise, she pulled me back up to her.

“Not this time, Shannon. I need you inside me now. Please.” Her breathing was ragged and her eyes were damp. I didn't know what was happening but I knew I wanted to give Jane whatever she desired. I moved over her, our mouths meeting for another powerful kiss and she reached between us, guiding my cock until our bodies met, pulling me into her while she shuddered around me.

I stayed firmly pressed against her, my weight on one arm while my hand cradled her face. She didn't scream for God or Krishna or Zeus this time. She only wrapped her legs and arms around me, clutching me against her while she moaned my name like an incantation. For the second time in twenty-four hours, I was lost to her, caught up in whatever magic spell it was that our bodies cast whenever they met. By the time we had finished, and she was tucked against my chest and drifting off to sleep, I felt, for the first time, like maybe we were really on the same page. That everything was finally falling into place.

It only made what happened the next night that much more puzzling

@msroxyblog @nikkitasevoli @maliciousalishious@meghan12151977 @mustlove6277 @fyeahproudglambert @little-poptart @lady-grinning-soul-k

#jared leto fanfiction #jared leto fic #shannon leto fanfiction #shannon leto fic #30 seconds to mars fanfiction #Thunderbirds

40 notes · View notes

philanddanxreader · 7 years

Text

Happier

Hello, Love bugs!

Phil X Reader

Warnings- break up, sad.

A few people wanted me to do a Phil version of when I was your man.

You had been laying in bed wide awake cuddled into Phil for the last couple of hours. Last night right before bed Phil had brought up something that made it nearly impossible to find sleep. “How much longer will we stay together like this?” It seemed to fall so naturally from his lips. As if he was asking what kind of mug you wanted out of the cupboard. Not if the two of you should be a couple.

Phil and yourself had been dating for nearly two years so when he asked if the two of you should be together you were shocked, to say the least. It wasn’t like you fought constantly. You had fights sure, but never ones so bad you couldn’t take back what you said. Thoughts of why he would bring this up danced around in your head all night. Maybe he hasn’t attracted to you anymore. He could have found someone new who was better and prettier. Or he could just be sick of you and he was regretting asking you to move in with him a year ago.

You rolled over to face the clock to see it was four in the morning. Your eyes felt heavy with sleep but your mind wasn’t about to let you fall asleep beside someone who may have just confessed he doesn’t feel the same things you feel for him. You decided to go to the lounge to maybe watch some tv or even maybe sleep there. At this point, anything was better than laying here. Getting up slowly you grabbed your phone and headed to the lounge in the dark. Dan was just across the way sleeping so you didn’t dare turn on a light to find your way easier. You ran your hand along the hall until you found the doorway to the lounge. Once inside you closed the door behind you and turned on the soft light on the end table. Looking out you could see the skyline of London along with the tiniest specks of the sunrise in the morning sky. Finding your spot on the couch you couldn’t help but let your thoughts run fully ramped.

What if Phil doesn’t see the relationship going further into the future? You always pictured your future with Phil. It didn’t matter if that included kids, no kids, or just a ton of animals. When you thought of future plans Phil was always there. How could you even start over again? You had moved in with the boys to grow your relationship closer with Phil. You had almost nothing to your name anymore. Selling all of your furniture seemed like a good plan for when you were moving into an already furnished place. Realistically all that was yours in this apartment was your clothing and the dresser you had to bring to fit all of your things in Phil’s room. Other than a few things here and there this wasn’t your home. It was Dan and Phil’s. You just happen to be an extra tag along.

Grabbing the blanket off of the back of the couch you snuggled up letting the news play on mute in the background. You finally felt a yawn come along making you think you may just get a few hours of sleep before Phil and yourself had to have the talk in the morning. The last thing you remembered what the newsman talking about something Donald Trump did before letting your heavy eyes take over.

Three and a half hours later you woke to the sun shining in your eye from the windows. You grabbed your phone to note that the time was around seven thirty. Trying to stretch you noticed that you felt terrible. The pit in your stomach was what was making you feel so overwhelmingly sick. You had hoped it was all just a terrible nightmare and not reality. But waking up alone on a lumpy couch happens to be the dead give away that you were indeed living in the moment. The moment where you were going to get your ass dumped today. Pulling the blanket over your head you let out an audible groan before Dan walked into the room with a bowl of cereal.

“Oh, Y/N. I wasn’t expecting you to be on the couch. I actually figured you were still sleeping with Phil in bed.” Dan moved to sit in the chair across the room from you as he dug into his breakfast. It seemed kind of silly but you felt a few tears threaten to spill from your eyes. Watching Dan eat his breakfast made you realise that this wouldn’t be your life anymore. Spending weekends with Dan and Phil was the usual. If you guys weren’t hanging out doing as little as possible you were going around London doing touristy things or seeing friends. It was a perfect life. Work was going well and from what you thought home life was exactly what you wanted. It just didn’t make sense as to why Phil brought this out of left field. Looking up at Dan you couldn’t help but ask something. Really anything.

“Dan? Has Phil seemed off to you lately? Like has he mentioned anything about big changes or not being happy?” This took Dan by surprise. The look he was giving you didn’t exactly reassure you of your worries being silly.

“Umm. No, he hasn’t mentioned anything. He may just be stressed or something.” Dan took his phone out of his pocket and started to play on it as if nothing was out of the ordinary. You decided that there was no way you were going to get any more sleep and that maybe a shower would do you a world of good. Unfortunately, your towel and all of your clothing were in the room with a sleeping Phil. So much for a good plan. Another audible groan escaped your lips before getting off the couch and letting your legs lead you to the room. Peeking your head into the room you found Phil laying in bed playing on his phone in the dark room. You were about to back out of the door until you were spotted by Phil trying to leave the door.

“Y/N, Morning. You can come in. I have been awake for a few minutes. You were up early this morning.” You wanted to do nothing but reach over to Phil’s side of the bed and hit him repeatedly with a pillow. Who in their right mind would act like everything is normal and good when hours before he was suggesting that he wasn’t happy in this relationship.

“I guess I couldn’t sleep. I just came to get a change of clothes and a towel for a shower. I will leave you be.” Phil sat up in bed as he watched you practically run over to the closet to find a shirt.

“What’s the rush? It’s a Saturday and I think I am in the mood for a cuddle. Come here so I can give you some lovin.” Phil’s giant blue eyes seemed to still shine in the darkness of the room. If looks could kill his would. Literally. You slowly made your way to your side of the bed. Well, your side for now. As you stood beside the edge Phil motioned for you to crawl in with him. “Something wrong? I promise I am wearing socks so my feet won’t freeze you out.” As you stood there the tears instantly spilt. How could someone you love so much still treat you so wonderfully when he wants to send a relationship? Phil was taken aback by the tears as he kneeled up in bed to go over to your side so he could pull you into a hug. You took a quick step back before Phil had a chance to touch you. “What’s gotten into you? Come over here.” You couldn’t do anything but shake your head no. It hurt too much to look for comfort in Phil.

“I think I am going to go over to a friends place for a couple of days. I just can’t be here.” With that, you didn’t grab a single thing on your way out of the door. Before you even realised what you just did you were already in the lift on your way down to the main floor with nothing but your PJ’s and your dying cell phone. Storming out of a place is harder than expected. You found a chair in the lobby area that had a box of tissues beside it. This seemed like the best place to choose for now. It’s not like you knew where you could actually go. Sitting down you wanted to cry, or scream, really anything. But nothing was coming. You just felt silly for storming out like a little kid. You were about to call your little tantrum off when you saw Phil exiting the lift attempting to put on a jacket while quickly walking through the lobby. Now you felt like a grade A ass.

“Phil.” Phil turned to see you in the chair looking pathetic with red cheeks and eyes from all the tears. Phil went over to you kneeling in front of you.

“Jesus, Y/N. What were you thinking?” Phil looked to you expecting some sort of answer. All you could do was finally find your tears again as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Phil pulled you in close as he got you to stand up with him. You weren’t sure how but your legs carried you to not only the lift but also back to his apartment. There Phil leads you back to his room where he sat you down on the bed to try and make a scene of the situation.

“I’m sorry. If you didn’t want to be with me before you surely don’t want to be with someone who storms out.” You said soaking your tears up with the tissue you still had from downstairs.

“Don’t want to be with you? What are you on about?” Phil had raised his voice which took you by surprise as he was only ever loud when playing video games.

“You said so yourself last night. You asked if I thought we should still be together.” Phil took a few deep breaths as he remembered the one-sided conversation from last night.

“No. what did you think I was saying last night? I didn’t even think you were still awake.” You looked down at your lap as Phil stood up from the bed beside you to start digging in his drawers.

“You asked how much longer we will stay together. Just because you thought I was asleep doesn’t change anything, Phil! What are you even doing?” Phil stopped looking among his things before pulling out a purple box.

“You weren’t supposed to hear any of that. It was more of a question to myself. I wasn’t wondering how much longer I want to be with you. I have been trying to think of a way to ask you to agree to marry me.” Phil moved to open the box as he sat beside you again. ”I suppose I shouldn’t think out loud so much anymore. I was trying to figure out how to ask you to marry me.” Covering your mouth with your hands you hadn’t felt this stupid in a long time.

“You didn’t want to dump me.”

“opposite really. So, would you do me a favour and accept this is my proposal? I was trying to plan something different but all that matters to me is that you say yes.” You smiled at Phil before pulling him into a kiss. You two are the only the couple in the world who mistake Phil’s awkwardness for a breakup.

#amazingphil #amazingphil imagine #amazingphil x reader #phil lester #phil lester x reader #phil lester imagine

91 notes · View notes

halekingsourwolf · 7 years

Note

so i just discovered your fic list and oh gawd u don't know how happy i am with this discovery. thank u for this. anyway i just finished reading ur alternate meets canon fic and. i want to roll and jump and. oh my gawd i really wanna know what happened next?? do u have some other headcanons/ideas for this? is it ok with u to divulge them? no pressure if u don't want to though! just really wanted to thank u for it! i adore alternates meeting with canons so it was really a joy to read. thank u!

[FIC LINK] [Additional ask]

Oh anon, thank you loved the idea for that fic, had plans for it floating in my head for months before the ask got me to write it down. It was going to be this huge epic, like 100k words probably, switching between Derek and alt!Stiles in the canon universe and Stiles trying to make sense of the warped landscape of the alternate world he’d been thrown into.

Derek’s just standing there in his bedroom doorway, looking softer than Stiles has ever seen him: his hair loose and ungelled, hanging over his forehead.

“Hey Derek,” he says, trying to blink his way back from the visual. “You look…”

“What?” He seems totally lost on what’s making Stiles stare, and after a few seconds Stiles decides not to even try explaining it. You look nice keeps running through his head, but that’s not close enough. It’s not that Derek never looks nice. (Hell, Derek always looks nice, but that’s a whole other issue.) He looks happy sometimes too, and that’s the only other word Stiles can pull up that edges close to accurate. You’re in my bedroom is the third, half-formed option, but that’s happened before too. It’s just something about the combination of those things right now, and the comfortable way he’s standing in the space –– hands not in his pockets, shoulders not slumping in like he’s offended by the general pressure of someone else’s air –– that’s catching Stiles up. And there’s no way to fit any of that into words.

“You’ve got flour on your shirt,” he says instead, and Derek glances down with a soft laugh. Brushes the powder off so it wafts out in a soft cloud between them. The open smile he’s wearing when he looks up again is enough to make Stiles heart tug with how devastatingly dreamlike this all is.

“I was making breakfast,” he answers, and Stiles blinks. Ok, yeah. So, definitely a dream.

I had an entire timeline listed out for the alternate universe –– how things had all gone differently, in a chain reaction starting with Laura surviving Peter’s attack (link to that scene, if you’re interested) and just cascading outward, through the fracturing of Scott and Stiles’ friendship when a very human Scott was lured into the Argent side of the divide (via his interest in Allison and, ironically, concern for Stiles and the dangers of “vicious werewolves”) and Stiles sided with Laura and Derek.

“Wait… I still got with Allison, even if I wasn’t…”

“You two are so together it’s disgusting, alright? Apparently she hit a dog with her car and you guys got to know each other at the animal clinic and right after that you two were like, destined. A week in I could see like… wedding bells and white picket fences going on in your head. It was obnoxious and I was thrilled for you, dude. And then all the hunter crap happened.”

How Laura being alive kept Derek from being quite as dark and broken as he was in the first few seasons, how she made the executive decision to bring the Sheriff in early to earn his trust and support against hunters and supernatural threats alike, and how the town more or less broke down into a cold war zone between the werewolf and hunter sides of the conflict.

The tragedy is that somewhere in all that planning and preparation my detailed notes and timeline completely vanished. I have no idea how. Pages of details and alt!character development and plot planning… and all I have left is a page or so of scenes and stray quote segments, and I just don’t remember enough about the details to make it the way it originally would have. I can tell you a few details, though, and maybe throw in a few of the excerpts too.

I know that it still took a long time for Stiles and Derek to come together. Stiles had sided with the werewolves mainly because Laura had come to the Sheriff (and the Sheriff, remembering the fire and the lost kids the Hales had been when he’d told them the news, and appreciating finally being handed answers to all the mysteries that don’t quite add up in this town, agreed to work with them at least to stop Peter… and then the bond just built from there), and because it had been the right thing to do. And Derek wasn’t shattered the way he was in canon season one maybe, but he was still Derek. Laura’s skeptical, snarky, and untrusting little brother, the cynic to her careful optimism. And Stiles is sarcastic and blunt and, in this version of reality, also hurt and bitter from losing his best friend to the enemy, so he wasn’t exactly super open to bonding with one of the reasons Scott wasn’t around anymore. (It was easier to forgive Laura, who was more sympathetic, but Derek’s general if he sided with hunters he’s not worth having around anyway attitude did not help relations early on.) Stiles and Derek butted heads and snarked constantly at first but their alliance against Peter and the hunters, various life-or-death situations, and Laura’s friendship with the Sheriff (especially when he took her on as a deputy), kept them close, and eventually they fell together just like they’re always going to.

Beacon Hills is a constant danger zone, though, because the hunter threat still hasn’t died. Scott reaches out to Stiles from time to time, earnestly believing every Argent lie that wolves are dangerous monsters and that Stiles is going to get himself killed for being with them. But he’s basically a hunter at this point, believes their philosophy because he’s been on the Argents’ side in every showdown, and honestly thinks Stiles and the Sheriff have been seduced by the Hales’ supernatural wiles (Kate has indoctrinated Scott and Allison with a very different version of her history with Derek) and he needs to do whatever he can to save his former best friend from them.

“Scott’s not a werewolf?”

“What?” Stiles starts to laugh, before his brows arch sharply. “Oh my god, you’re serious. No. No, Scott’s practically married in with the Argents; he’d probably kill himself if he got the bite.” Bitterness floods his features; he fights and fails to smooth it away.

And Stiles is wounded and bitter and cuts off any attempt at contact from his old friend because they’ve both chosen their sides, there’s too much bad blood, and thinking about Scott as anything more than the enemy or the creep who’s allied with killers is too painful at this point.

Lydia’s also in with the Argents, from virtue of being Allison’s best friend and having been smart enough to catch on after a couple months that something decidedly supernatural was going on. She’s a very different Lydia, though, having never had her banshee powers awakened (she was never bitten by Alpha!Peter because… well, there was no Alpha!Peter) and is likely still more similar to her pre-Peter-possession self. I had a lot more details about all of the side characters and how they fit into the developing arc, but most of it’s sadly lost now.

#au meets canon #fic prompt #sort of #fic planning #sterek #i really want to write it but i just...#don't have a firm enough grasp anymore #derek hale #laura hale #stiles stilinski #scott mccall #Anonymous #ask hks

134 notes · View notes

inawickedlittletown · 5 years

Text

Walking The Wire (158/163)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

@findmeinthestarss

Masterpost

Chapter One Hundred Fifty Seven

“We know where Thanos is,” Carol said. “We can go there and face him. End this.”

Tony was a hundred percent behind her and the plan. He wanted Peter back. Steve too, even if he couldn’t quite wrap his mind around it. Seeing Gamora cemented it, though, Tony was going to get them back.

“He’s wanted this for as long as I’ve known him,” Gamora said. Tony remembered Nebula saying something similar.

“It’s flawed logic at best,” Bruce said.

Tony had been holding back a little, but he needed to know. “You saw my son? Peter Parker?”

Gamora’s dark eyes met his and she nodded. “Sweet kid. He was with some of your friends Bucky and Sam, I think their names were.”

None of them had known how the whole snap had affected those that turned to dust, but to know that Peter was alive somewhere and that he wasn’t along made everything seem a lot better. And with any luck Steve and Peter were together in the stone.

It was when they were preparing to leave that Natasha asked her how she’d gotten out of the stone if none of them had done anything to get her out.

“I -- I don’t know. The stone returned me, I think. Maybe because--” she gasped. “Your friend -- Steve, was it? He took my place when he sacrificed himself.”

“What?” Tony asked. “What does that mean--”

“It felt lonely when I first woke up there before Thanos showed up to see me and before everyone else showed up. I think it needs company -- it won’t let him go as easy as everyone else. Maybe not unless someone else is put in his place.”

Tony closed his eyes tight. He knew that Gamora was just talking out loud and trying to find an explanation, but she was probably right and Tony would never force anyone to take Steve’s place and Steve wouldn’t want that to happen either. But maybe the stones all together could override that. Tony hoped so, anyway.

Tony didn’t say anything. There was no need. Instead he helped with giving everyone the things he’d made for them. New widow bites for Natasha and new arrows for clint. A new bow too. They had packed a new version of Veronica for Bruce, but Tony was hoping that the green guy would come out to play.

He’d gone ahead and made a few weapons for Rocket too and for Nebula he’d made her a set of knives since she seemed to prefer them. Rhodey had a new version of the suit and Tony’s was an improvement on the last -- a mixture of the nanotech with actual armor. They were all ready.

Someone touched his elbow and Tony turned.

“Tony?”

“I just want all of this over already,” Tony said.

“It will be soon,” Thor said. He still had the gauntlet on.

Tony looked around and it looked like they were all ready.

Steve got to talk to Strange for a moment while Peter was distracted by Shuri. He, Bucky, T’Challa, and Shuri were discussing the whole time travel thing. So, Steve stepped back and went to find Strange.

“Tony had this crazy idea that you allowed Thanos to beat us,” Steve said.

“It’s not unfounded.”

Steve nodded his head. “Right. But you couldn’t have foreseen all of this?”

Strange didn’t respond. He just sort of shrugged and Steve knew that Strange probably wouldn’t be answering any real questions. He didn’t know if Strange would even have any answers at all, though.

“I’ve gotten to know your son a bit,” Strange said eventually. “He is the best of us, I think.”

“He is,” Steve said.

When he got back to where he’d left Peter and Bucky, he found Peter sitting with Shuri and they were still talking about time travel and dimensional rifts and all kinds of things that Steve thought would just fly over his head.

“You have a smart kid,” Bucky said. “I remember you telling me about him but I just didn’t expect him. He’s a lot like Stark. I guess that makes sense.”

“I’m glad you were here for him.”

Bucky shrugged. “So, tell me, has it been really bad out there? I know you kind of brushed over a few things for the kid.”

“It’s just been hard, Buck. The world is a mess. Tony was a mess -- he almost didn’t even make it back from space. This whole time travel thing was a long shot for so long and who knows if I’ll even get out of here at all. I don’t think it will be all that easy in my case even if it’s better than what I thought would happen. I hope -- I hope Tony knows.”

“You’ll make it out of this stone, Stevie, even if I have to go to the ends of the universe to figure out how to get you out. I’m sure your kid will agree. So will Stark.”

“My kid,” Steve said. “He really is mine, isn’t he?”

They both looked over to where Peter was still talking to Shuri and Peter actually looked up and waved.

“I know you never thought you’d have this, but here we are. Hey, I’m so happy you get to have this.”

Steve couldn’t help but think about Tony, then, and how much all of this was because of him. Tony wanted to adopt another kid, too, and Steve wanted it badly. He wanted to be back with Tony with a future ahead of them both and with Peter and Bucky and Sam and all the rest back out there with him.

Peter joined them, then and Steve almost automatically threw an arm around Peter’s shoulders.

“Hey,” he said, “so Shuri agrees with what dad said about not being able to change time if you time travel. She has all these ideas about the parallel universes, though, and it’s just so amazing. I mean, what if we could travel from one universe to another? Like meet another version of ourselves -- one only a little different.”

“That sounds just a little dangerous and bound to create more trouble than any of us need,” Steve pointed out quickly.

Peter rolled his eyes. “No, I know, but theoretically it would something interesting to look into. I’m sure dad would be interested.”

Steve kind of feared that, actually.

The thing about being in the stone was that it was kind of boring. There really was nothing to do and time was moving and not moving and no one seemed to get tired or hungry or thirsty. They kind of existed in some weird sort of limbo and Steve couldn’t imagine what it might be like to be in there on his own. It was a possibility. He didn’t like thinking about it, but he knew that eventually Tony and the others would figure out how to reverse the snap. But Steve hadn’t been a part of the snap.

“But, okay, what about just going on a trip into somewhere crazy important in the past?” Peter asked. “We essentially have a time machine. We could do anywhere.”

Steve shook his head. “I really don’t think time travel is something we want to mess with. Not to mention we would need pym particles and I doubt that Hank Pym would want to just give us more.”

“Yeah, but imagine going back to see the dinosaurs or you -- what if we went back to see you when you weren’t Cap. Or, or we could go meet someone like Einstein. Or maybe...maybe I could see my mom and Uncle Ben--”

Steve squeezed Peter’s shoulder. “We can talk about this again when your dad can have a say.”

Peter nodded. “Just as long as we don’t tell Aunt May. She probably wouldn’t be all that cool about this.”

“I imagine not.”

Steve couldn’t be sure that he would be a part of another discussion about time travel. He couldn’t be sure that he would see Tony again or go back to be with them, but it was easier to keep thinking that it would be possible.

Titan was not at all like what he and Nebula had left behind before. It wasn’t an arid destroyed place with weird gravity. Instead, it was lush and green and while it looked nothing like the illusion that Thanos had shown them, it looked simple and different and alive. There was only one building -- a cabin. It wasn’t small, but it was plain and unadorned and it was obvious that this was Thanos’ home -- the place from where he would watch the universe be grateful for what he’d done. He was a monster. Somehow, though, he was true to his word which was something.

Thor had transported them there using the Space Stone -- taking the fight to Thanos -- and Tony was glad that the planet didn’t look like it had when he was there last. It meant that he wasn’t overwhelmed by memories of him and Peter and the others there facing off against Thanos and losing at every turn. Although, they had come close at one point and Tony in his rational mind couldn’t really hate Quill for how that had gone down.

“Didn’t look like this the last time,” he said.

Nebula nodded.

“He must have done this with the stones,” Carol said. She was sort of glowing a little. Enough so that it could be noticable, but not so that it was too bright.

“That reading we got,” Rocket said.

Tony gave a nod.

“What’s the plan, then? We just head over to his house? Knock on the door and pretend to be a Girl Scout?” Clint asked.

Natasha settled Clint with a look.

“If he hasn’t realized we’re here then his defences are down. We better move before he does realize we’re here,” Natasha said.

“She’s right,” Carol said.

“Use the reality stone to keep the gauntlet hidden,” Gamora said added. “The longer we keep it secret that we have the stones, the better.”

They watched as the Reality Stone shone on the gauntlet on Thor’s hand and then it disappeared from sight.

Tony looked around and it was clear that they were all ready for this. He was too. They all reached the house around the same time, walking and flying there with purpose.

“Again, do we just knock?” Clint asked.

Carol’s response was to blast the door and it flew off it’s hinges, breaking apart where it fell.

“Or we could do that,” Clint said and Tony could hear the awe in his voice. He was kind of awed too.

None of them had actually seen Carol in action, but it had always been clear that she was formidable. She was the first one in the door and Tony followed closely after with the others at his heels. Thanos was inside. He was without his armor or his gauntlet and he looked up at their intrusion with surprise. He didn’t seem entirely bothered by it.

“I knew this would happen eventually,” Thanos said. “It’s not going to change anything.”

“I wasn’t around last time,” Carol said and she shot at him directly with her hands, sending him backwards into one of the walls. The whole house shook, but Thanos didn’t stay down and Tony hadn’t expected him to.

Thanos got up leisurely, like he had all the time in the world and he moved back towards them in that same languid way.

“Stark,” he said, “I hoped you’d be one of the ones that went.”

“So did I,” Tony said.

The others were just behind them, Thor keeping out of sight just in case Thanos somehow figured out what Thor had all of the Infinity Stones on a new gauntlet. Thanos moved, faster than Tony had expected and he aimed a fist at Carol. She dodged it and fought back. She was glowing more than ever and they went hand to hand. Carol didn’t even seem to be breaking a sweat and although Thanos managed to land a couple of hits, she kicked and punched and shot him with her energy blasts right before the rest of them went for him too

Carol with more physical hits and Tony and Rhodey shooting repulsor blasts at him. Clint shot him with a few arrows. One of them shocked him and Clint had made sure that it was on the highest level, clearly, because Thanos actually shook a little. This purple thing was the reason his family was gone and Tony wanted him to pay. Natasha, Gamora, and Thor hung back a little, but Rocket and Nebula joined in how they could. It was Bruce in the Hulk-buster armor that knocked Thanos onto his back and then they were all holding him down. He was fighting it at first, trying to get out of Rhodey’s hold and the arrow that Clint had shot out that held one of his arms in place. It was in that moment that Thanos realized that Nebula was there.

“Daughter--”

“I am not your daughter,” Nebula said.

“And neither am I,” Gamora said.

Thanos’s head shot towards Gamora and he was at a loss for words and he stared at Gamora with something akin to longing. Tony kicked him on the side which made him try to get up again and he struggled and was almost up, managing to sit up a little. Carol shot him with another energy blast.

“Where are the stones?” Tony demanded.

Thanos’ gaze was back on Tony and he laughed. “You’ve come to the wrong place. I scattered them -- only I know where they are for if I ever need them again.”

He had probably done it exactly for this reason: because he knew that sooner or later someone would come after him for them. From the way that he looked at all of them, Tony imagined that Thanos expected to see them disappointed but none of them gave him that satisfaction. They didn’t react at all.

Without his armor, Thanos looked different, like less of the threat that he had been for them before. His arm -- the one that he’d had the gauntlet on looked different than the other a bit darker and scarred. A consequence of how he’d used the gauntlet probably. It made Tony worry about how their reverse snap might affect Thor.

“You will never change what I did,” Thanos said. He laughed.

Thor stepped closer his axe in the hand that didn’t have the hidden gauntlet. “I guess it’s time I go for the head.”

Faintly, Tony heard Gamora say, “Wait--” But it was too late.

Thor threw Stormbreaker and lighting flashed between Thor and the axe as it flew at Thanos and they all expected it to hit him but in that moment purple light shone from Thanos’ hand.

Chapter One Hundred Fifty Nine

#peter and tony #peter and tony fic #mcuwriting #mcu fic #iron dad #iron dad and spider son #stony #stony fic #marvel

0 notes