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#there was very little I could do to save it
jaylaxies · 24 hours
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HARD THOUGHT !
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pairing: sunghoon x fem!reader
cw: smut, unprotected sex, usage of nicknames.
warning: 18+ content, minors dni
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Best friend!Sunghoon had easily convinced you to move in with him. His reasoning sat well with you—low cost and splitting of the rent. As a university student, you would do anything to save up some extra cash and this deal was spot on as it saved you half the amount of your usual living expenses.
However, the provided reason wasn’t even close to what Sunghoon had actually wanted. He knew you had a crush on him, yet you never acted upon it due to your experiences regarding sex and love were limited, which made him want to ruin you beyond words. He was more on the possessive side of the spectrum, which was also laced with jealousy as he hated the idea of anyone else touching his little angel, his kitten.
So he took the matter in his own hands, pulling you even closer to him now that you shared an apartment with each other. He stared at you a little longer, walked around shirtless, his touch on your bare skin lingered for a second too long and you loved it. Your body always reacted to him in such a manner which made him lose his patience each fucking day, until he finally decided to cage you between him and the wall when you had freshly came out of the shower, clad in just your tiny towel.
“You like showing your pretty little body, don’t you, kitten?” He’d whisper in a deep tone, eyes dark as he stared right in your eyes. He could see you biting your lip, your thighs pressing close to each other as you tried to formulate a reply. “What are you talking about Hoonie—” you were shushed with his slender finger, which was now pressed against your lips. “I know you want me, baby. You just have to say it, yeah?” He assured you slow but serious.
You couldn’t wait any longer, not when you dreamed the filthiest of your fantasies with him, not when you touched yourself desperately hoping that it was him instead, even more so when he simply sat in the room next door. You nodded fervently, “want you so much, Hoonie,” you almost whimpered, feeling smaller than ever under his intense gaze.
“Oh baby, I’ll ruin your cunt and fuck you in every corner of this goddamn apartment,” he growled.
He was gentle with you for your very first time, he knew exactly how you’d like it, he was your best friend after all. But you didn’t bother thinking that he’d actually fuck you everywhere. It started from your bedroom, where he took care of your all night, trying his best not to go overboard with you. The next time, he took you to his bedroom. The task was simple, you’ll have to suck his dick and he’d make a mess on your pretty face.
It then progressed to you crying out his name in pleasure as he fucks you from behind on your couch which barely fit two people. He didn’t even leave the kitchen out of the deal as he fucked you on the marble counter, his cock hitting just the right spots as you dug your nails into his shoulders for support. Then he proceeded to take you to the bathroom, the reason was simple again—to save the water.
It didn’t matter if it was your study table or the wall next to the front door, it never mattered if you were on the carpet or his gaming chair, he had to fuck you. As for you, you loved every second of it, he made sure to get your wildest fantasies out of you, only to make them come true.
When you finally crawled up to him, giving him your sweetest smile as you asked him to fuck you, he knew he had won in life.
He had ruined you.
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satowooo · 2 days
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i. imgonnagetyouback
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The one and only son of the Gojo clan had fallen quite hard, completely and utterly, to a lowly woman who came from the dirt, and got his heart broken by her. Years had passed, he was still as angry since the day you left, but he only wanted you back.
contents. modern au, gojo satoru x reader, angst, not proofread.
Whether I'm gonna curse you out or take you back to my house, I haven't decided yet but I'm gonna get you back
next chapter
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It was pathetic. The sight of Gojo Satoru, a well-respected son of the Gojo clan, was down on his knees right in front of you, begging you to stay, a daughter of a mere servant.
It made him look pitiful and weak, a miserable prince who had his heart shattered by a low class woman like you. But he didn't really give it that much of a thought, ever since he first laid eyes on you. He didn't care what people might've said from the very first time, and he proved it to you a million times as he stubbornly and desperately showed you how much he loves and adores you. So, begging down on his knees is not that much of a deal now, no?
“Stand up, please.”
But you were firm, closing your eyes as you let out a shaky breath. You hated seeing him like this, but you were left with no other choice. Your love for him could risk even the dangers of your life, and you were sacrificing him to save him.
“I do not wish to be with you any longer, Young Master.” You said, uttering his title in a whisper. “What we had was wrong. It was a mistake on my side. And I thought I was in love with you, but it was just a pathetic infatuation and I realised that another man best suits me, and it's not you.”
Your words were nonstop, every single thing that you uttered was shattering his heart into pieces. But Satoru furiously shakes his head, his hands trembling on your lap as his forehead falls on your knees.
“T-that’s not… T-that's not true…”
You remembered everything from that day. Every little detail, every word, every touch, every action, of what had happened stayed forever in your mind. It never fails to shatter you. To make you cry every single time that you thought about him as you lie in the confinements of your small room.
“I have done what you asked for. What else do I need to do–” A whimper escaped your lips as a hand flew over your cheek. Breathing heavily, you felt the sting on your skin as you looked back at the person who had been the cause of your pain.
“Pack your things, and never show your face again.”
Gojo Satoru haunted your dreams and nightmares. He managed his way in your heart, and refused to leave. He was the ghost of your tragic love story, you could only wish that you never should've picked up the pen. It's already been two years since you left, and even until now, your heart only beats for one man and it will always be for Satoru.
So what are you going to do when he comes up at your door, claiming what used to be his?
It all happened so fast that your head can't fathom how you ended back to the place of your nightmares. The Gojo clan's mansion. The place where it all started between the two of you.
Every corner of this place was filled with memories of you and Satoru, all the good and bad. But what you remembered most was the torture, the consequences you had faced for falling in love. You felt like all your scars were slowly tearing apart, opening the wound that was almost healed as you looked back to the man who stood in front of you.
You never should've been back in this place.
“I expect you to work immediately.” Satoru's voice was different. It was laced with authority and demand, not the sweet ones that you remember back when he was yours. “Remember, your family is in the palm of my hands. Try to escape, and you'll face the consequences.”
His eyes looked at you with anger, a pent up emotion that he bottled up all these years. His hands were balled on a fist by his sides, almost trembling, but he wouldn't let you see just how much you still have an effect on him.
Right now, all he feels is anger and hatred for what you did. For leaving him. For running off with another man. For loving him only to break his heart. For letting him hold on to your empty promises.
For those two years, he only loathed you and he's not going to be a forgiving man, he'll make sure you regret. He'll make you beg on his knees, the way he did for you.
“I expect you to be in my office in five.”
Now, you're back to square one. Working as his maid was already bad enough back then, so what's going to happen now that you're back to serve him again?
You can't help but notice how much he changed. Somehow, you can tell that he was still the same, only that he was only mad at you. It was obvious already how he's showing indifference only to you but not to anyone else. His bubbly personality that used to welcome you with warm embraces is now replaced with an angry demeanour of a man who cold-heartedly took you away from your family and took you back to the house where you suffered.
How unfair.
This was not your Satoru.
As soon as Satoru turned around and left you standing, he heaved out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. His heart felt like it was trying to escape from his chest. For the first time since you left, he finally felt his heart beating again.
All throughout those years that you were gone, he relentlessly looked for you. Trying to search your face in unfamiliar places, sometimes getting himself into trouble when he mistakes someone for you. Everyday, he was turning angrier and angrier when you never showed up, while all he needed was proper answers and explanations. He hated all the memory that you had left, and how it tore him to pieces that all of it was just a lie.
He couldn't believe you had the nerve. A woman like you with no name for herself, telling him that a relationship with him was just a mistake as you sought another man. Gojo Satoru was everything anyone could have asked for, so how dare a woman like you? How dare a woman he loved…
Everything comes crashing down into his mind once again. From the first time he saw you and how you've caught his eye. His heart starts to beat frantically, his breath caught into his chest, his tongue tied together. Satoru slumps into his chair as he closes his eyes, letting the memory sink in.
“Who is that woman?” Satoru asked an older servant, seeing your unfamiliar face walking around the garden in a maid uniform as he stared down at you from his window.
“That's [M/L/N]’s daughter. She's here to take her place while her mother is recovering.” The servant answered as she poured him tea.
Satoru watched as you walked quietly, your movements looked calculated and careful. He watched your finger touch a ragged cloth, gracefully cleaning the dirty tables.
From afar, he can see how your skin looked soft and pale. You were a bit thin and looked weak. He can only assume that he could break you with one twist.
Your face didn't have any emotion in it which intrigued him. Even your lips were downturned, like you hated every second of working in his place. You caught his attention in a matter of seconds, a curiosity growing inside him while he watched your every move.
He noticed the way your mood changed when his family's dog, a small golden retriever, came running to you. A smile formed into your face and he swore he could feel all the flowers blooming all around the place. Everything seemed to have lighted up, his heart began to drum in his chest as you kneeled down to the dog, petting and rubbing the cute animal between your hands.
What's so fascinating about you?
He swallowed hard. Satoru felt like a teenage boy realising that he was staring a little too hard. He felt like a stalker for watching you, shivering at his thoughts.
But he wanted to meet you. Something was pulling him to be close to your presence. A magnetic force was drawing him to come near, and it was the very first time that he ever felt like this.
But he'll take his time first. For now, he's going to settle on just watching you from afar, memorising every detail of you, until he is ready.
A knock on the door woke Satoru back to his senses. He straightened up on his seat, erasing the memories out of his head as he coughed. “Come in.”
But how can Satoru completely forget?
You walked inside in your maid uniform, the same dress that you used to wear, and it only took Satoru a matter of seconds for all your pasts to remind him of how much he loved you. He felt a pain in his chest, and for a moment, he wanted to fall back on his knees and beg for you to love him again. But even you had changed.
Satoru was also back to square one. He looks at you, reminded of the first time he had seen your face. The lack of emotion, the frown, the gaze that used to intimidate him, and the wall you had built between the two of you was palpable.
“Take a seat.” Satoru gestured over the chair in front of his table.
He watched you carefully as you stepped inside his office, striding forward with a sense of hurry as you obviously refused to seat. You stood in front of him, an emotion in your eyes that he can't seem to read.
“I have to get back to my family–”
“They are fine.” Satoru immediately cut you off, his voice ringing over your ear. He looked at you with a glare, venom laced in his voice as he says, “You are bound to stay here, as I said so–”
“You can't keep me here!”
Your scream shocked the both of you, but Satoru kept a straight face as he stood up slowly. He chuckled with malice, staring at your helpless state.
“What makes you say that I can't?” He smirked. “I own you now. Every single thing that's yours is also mine, even your family.”
Your eyes fell to the floor, your hands trembling at your side. Your knees felt weak underneath his gaze, burning and crushing your soul.
Everything he said was true. You were in so much debt ever since you left the Gojo mansion, your family almost falling apart if he didn't show up to take you. And now he's claiming every single bit of what's yours, not leaving a single piece behind.
Satoru made it clear when he took you here. He'll pay for everything to save you and your family. Your mother's hospital bill, your father's gambling debts, your brother's education, their food, house, electricity, and all their livings, because you couldn't pay them off by yourself.
So now you're trapped. He's got you wrapped around his fingers.
“You need me, Y/N.” You closed your eyes at his voice, shaking your head in denial. “You can't afford to live without me, and that's the truth.”
It was the truth, Satoru taking her away from her old life.
You were doing just fine when he was gone. But now you don't know anymore.
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this is the part 1 of my mini (?) gojo series! i hope you'd like it and anticipate for what's next to come 🥺🫶🏻 [M/L/N] also stand for "mother's last name" in case you didn't knowww ^.^ I also hoped you understood the flashbacks and such.
this is just a prologue of the main story, sooo the real story starts at part 2.
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Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.
So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.
Lurkers really are great, tho
I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.
Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.
The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.
Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.
There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.
I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 
I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.
I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.
So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.
But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.
I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.
Should we gatekeep fandom?
I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--
A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.
That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.
See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.
So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.
The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.
And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”
Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.
Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.
And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.
However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 
I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.
And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 
And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)
But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.
Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.
Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.
Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 
While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:
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[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 
OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]
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“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.
I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.
It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 
So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.
And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.
So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.
Think of it like a garden gate
When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.
The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 
Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 
Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.
My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.
But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.
I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.
Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.
And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.
Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.
There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.
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01zfan · 2 days
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miss you more | s. es
ex baby-daddy!eunseok x reader | 6.6k words
another baby daddy riize fic. i do NAWT condone having a baby with a man you’re not married to.
contains: sex without a condom (they’re absolute messes DON’T BE LIKE THEM)
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you don’t know how you ended up in front of eunseok’s place. even if you were the one behind the wheel, the one shifting the gears, and the one rolling red stop signs you don’t know how you ended up there. you looked out your driver side window to look at the house you used to call your home across the street. atleast you were in your right mind enough to not park directly in front. but you also knew this was just as bad, in a parked car with the lights off across the street like a stalker.
you knew you could’ve gone home. you could’ve put your car back in drive and come back in the morning to pick up your daughter, pretending like this never happened. but you knew yourself better than that, and you knew that the failed date you went on still weighed heavy on your shoulders. 
you turned towards your phone, hoping that something on your device would distract you. but when you opened your phone you saw your lockscreen—your happy little daughter trying to hold a pumpkin the size of her body as you and eunseok helped. you thought about how content you were that day, how you felt like you were truly a happy little family again. you even had a heart to heart with eunseok, talking about how you were too young and just starting your career when you met him. your life was barely on track by the time your daughter came and although you wouldn’t trade her for the world you both humored the idea of meeting later in life. you felt a pang in your chest as you remembered looking down to your daughter who held tightly onto eunseok’s hand while she held her tiny pumpkin in the other. 
the person you went on the date with noticed your wandering mind, it was obvious in the way he cleared his throat after you stared at the picture for a little too long. 
trying to comprehend your relationship with eunseok was difficult. when you were with him you thought about all the shortcomings in your relationship—the lack of communication, hiding your feelings, keeping things bottled up until they exploded. neither of you were able to save your relationship before it was too late, and it could be argued that you two were better apart. but when you weren’t with him, the only thing you could think about was trying to make it work.
you looked at the man sitting across from you at the dinner table and you imagined it was eunseok. maybe it was the familiarity, maybe you shouldn’t have made the mistake of seeing him before going on your date. because now the only thing you could think about was him, if he was going on dates in secret and if he was thinking of you too. you thought about your daughter, how much you wished you were with her instead of pretending the fancy food on your plate was good.
you knew the moment you started thinking about your family that the date was already over. it would be another endeavor in your long list of failures, all you could think about as you sat in your car was how you gave up a day you had with your daughter for this. you deleted your message history with the man, staring at your most recent text conversations. eunseok sat at the very top, his unread message appearing in the form of a tiny blue dot next to his picture-less icon. you clicked on the message thread, revealing a series of pictures of your daughter and little updates through the night.
eunseok: she likes strawberries alot.
eunseok: playing zelda and animal crossing on the big tv.
eunseok: she’s better than me at zelda now.
eunseok: she told me mommy is going on a date?
eunseok: i hope it goes well.
eunseok: she ate all of her food.
you don’t know why you felt guilty reading the last message. eunseok didn’t have the right to know, and you knew that. you had simply told your daughter in passing that you were going on a date night with your friends, knowing that she would repeat whatever you told her to her father. you typed your reply over and over again, trying to figure out what approach to take. 
lol i was going out with some of my friends from wo|
that’s none of your busin|
the date went we|
are you awake?
your mind came up with a million things to say, but none of them felt right. it felt like all of them were attempts at sounding casual. you threw your phone into the passenger seat beside you, and you rolled your neck to try and relieve some of the tension. you let out a sigh and turned your keys in the ignition, letting your car come to life around you.
you pulled out from the parking lot and headed down the road trying to go home. it started off with one wrong turn, your mind confused on where to go from the restaurant. when you had the chance to go back the way you came you felt something take control, and you continued heading down the same road. you took another turn, you even waited at the red light with an unexplainable energy as you tapped the steering wheel. the tension in your neck was gone too as you headed further down the road. 
you knew you didn’t have the right to act confused when you finally turned down eunseok’s road.
you let your head rest against the steering wheel when you parked across the street. each time the thought of leaving your car invaded your thoughts, you gently shook your head, feeling the worn leather of the steering wheel cover against your forehead.
“don’t do it.” you said to yourself.
you looked back at the house again, looking at the window that your daughter was sleeping in. you knew that on the other side of the house you couldn’t see, was the window to the room you used to sleep in. you started thinking about eunseok in that bed by himself, drowning in the california king that was too big even for the two of you. you started thinking about if he thought of you before going to bed everyday, if he thought about you tonight and where you were going in your pretty dress. 
“don’t do it.” you repeated.
saying it a second time was unnecessary. you said it purely for effect, trying to seem like your better senses were trying to put up a fight. you were already taking your key out of the ignition before you finished your sentence. you had taken your first step out of the car when you repeated the phrase again. you cleared the road quickly, hearing your heels click on the paved road with each step. by the time you made it to the sidewalk you had accepted your fate. you were still weary, slowly making your way across the lawn to the stoop. 
when you made it to the small set of stairs you looked to the door in front of you. the last chance you had to go back in your car before you undid all of your hard work. you knew you were being recorded by the ring camera beside the door. you could simply lie if eunseok ever brought it up. you could just say you considered coming to get your daughter before realizing how late it was. eunseok most likely wouldn’t believe you, and you would most likely lie some more trying to tell a convincing story. but your gaze went from the ring camera to the potted plant that stood tall beside you. you looked even lower to the painted rocks that circled the bottom. you let the ring camera catch you crouch down to your heels. the same hand that drove you here picked out the discolored rock that felt hollow. 
you held the rock in your hand, feeling the three engraved letters side by side. you held it away from your shadow, letting the moon illuminate the letters. you laughed to yourself for a moment before bringing your other hand to it, feeling for the split in the middle. it was too easy to slide the fake rock open, and to grab the key to the front door out of it.
you stepped through the door, turning the knob so it closed quietly behind you. you took off your heels at the door, hanging your jacket on the coat rack. you felt like an intruder, walking through the house on the balls of your feet trying to be as stealthy as possible. you lurched past your daughters toys in the living room down the hallway to eunseok’s room.
“don’t do it.” you said one more time putting your hand on the doorknob.
you pushed open the door to eunseok’s room slowly. you cursed at the creaky hinges, only letting it fully open when you saw that eunseok’s bed was empty. you didn’t hear him in the bathroom, so you pulled away from the door. you turned around, looking at the pink door of your daughter’s room. you ran your hand over the paint, remembering the day you spent painting it outside. it was the same day you painted the rocks outside. for some reason you believed eunseok would’ve thrown out the rocks you painted, or atleast replace them with new ones. but everything was the same as you left it all those years ago. 
when you silently opened the door, you saw your daughter take up a majority of the bed. her stretched limbs forced eunseok to the edge—his arm was slung over the side, and he was so close to falling that his hand touched the ground. eunseok was on his stomach and your daughter was on her back, both of their snores filled the room. for a moment pain flashed across your chest, you missed seeing this more than you thought. your own flesh and blood laid next to your shared history that was so suffocating it took your breath away. it was overwhelming and calming, as painful as it was peaceful. 
part of you wanted to stand there for the rest of the night, just watching the two sleep side by side. you were still for a moment, letting your mind replace all the bad memories with the good as you worked up the courage to get closer to eunseok. 
all of your steps towards eunseok were careful, walking on the flat part of your foot to not cause the floorboards to creak. you had your eyes trained on your sleeping daughter, making sure she didn’t open her eyes while you crouched close to eunseok’s body.
when you reached your hand in the space between your chest and eunseok’s shoulder, you hesitated. you were frozen looking at eunseok and his cheek pressed into the mattress and his mussed black hair. you hadn’t seen eunseok like this in god knows how long. after you called things off, eunseok put his stoic resolve back up. he put on a mask for you, a facade of furrowed eyebrows and emotionless stares. you had been deprived of eunseok’s softness you almost forgot it existed. now you crouched next to your ex beside the flower lamp on your daughters dresser resisting the urge to run a finger over his soft parted lips or his smooth skin. you almost didn’t want to wake eunseok up, afraid that you would once again have the gentleness taken away from you. you didn’t know you could miss the view of someone you claimed to hate so much. 
something inside of you wanted eunseok to know you saw him like this, serene in middle of the night just like when you were together. maybe he would even talk to you in the same raspy voice he always used to talk to you in. maybe if you woke him up fast enough you would be able to experience the eunseok you loved before his mind fully woke up to make him robotic towards you again. so you finished reaching across the space, gently touching his shoulder before you let your hand fully cover the area.
you shook eunseok gently at first. his body was limp underneath your hand, moving whichever way you applied force. you looked past eunseok to your daughter, who had at some point moved on her side to sleep like you. you drew in a breath, applying more pressure behind your hand trying to rouse him. finally he did something, letting out a sigh before shrugging his shoulders.
“go back to sleep baby,” eunseok swallowed and turned his head, facing away from you. “we can play zelda in the morning, i promise.” he mumbled.
even if his voice was barely audible, you still clenched your teeth in worry. your daughter was by no means a light sleeper, but all it could take is mentioning one of her favorite things to have her head shoot up in the middle of her sleep. eunseok ignored you trying to wake him up, you had to lean in close to the back of his head.
“eunseok,” you shook him a little harder “it’s me.” you whispered.
as if you yelled straight into his ear, eunseok shot up from the bed. you were spooked, almost letting out a sound when he turned to you with wide eyes.
“what are you doing here?” he sounded lost as he looked around your daughters dark room. “is something wrong?” he asked.
“no i just.” you looked over eunseok’s shoulder to look at your daughter. she was still snoring, but had turned to face her father. if she woke up now she would never go back to sleep. “i need to talk to you.” you whispered.
eunseok looked at the flower-shaped clock hanging on the wall behind you. he squinted his eyes trying to make sure he was reading the time right.
“at two in the morning?” he asked, voice still raspy.
in that moment you realized it was a mistake coming. nothing good as ever happened between you and eunseok after midnight. but you also realized it was too late to go back, and a small voice in your brain convinced you that you weren’t sleeping in your own bed tonight. so you nodded your head again as eunseok carefully move off the bed to not wake your daughter. 
eunseok motioned for you to walk toward shis room but he still led the way. he didn’t care to walk on his tiptoes or avoid the creaky parts of the floor as he rubbed his face. 
you looked back to your daughter once more before closing the door behind you. she moved to the center of the bed, taking up the little amount of space eunseok was occupying. you slowly pulled the door closed until you heard it click behind you. when you turned back into the hallway you saw eunseok past the opening in his door, looking at you through the space. he was no longer tired and he didn’t have his eyes squinted in confusion anymore. he held eye contact with you from his room, almost like he was daring you to come in. the implications made your bare feet timid in the hallway, lingering behind each creak on the floorboards as you crossed the threshold into his room. 
as if you had never been in the room before, you waited by the doorframe as eunseok closed the door shut beside you. he gave you a second to collect your thoughts, leaning against the closed door as he looked down at you. you tried matching his calm, leaning against the wall until the light switch poked your back. when eunseok crossed his arms you breathed in deeply.
“what are you doing here?” he asked.
you didn’t have an answer. all you could do was cross your arms against your chest and avoid his gaze.
“i don’t know.” you answered.
you could hear eunseok let out a dry laugh from beside you. even in the darkness of his room you could make out the framed photo of you two that sat at his work desk. he followed your gaze and cleared his throat when he saw what you were looking at.
“did you enjoy your date?” eunseok asked.
“that’s none of your concern.” you quipped.
eunseok pushed off of the door, and your eyes followed his back as he walked towards his bed.
“i’ll take that as a no.” he said quietly.
when he turned around to face you, you took a step forward.
“i’m seeing him again.” you lied.
the smug look on eunseok’s face didn’t fade away as he crossed his arms again. you saw him lean against your former side the bed, head tilted as he caught onto your lie.
“oh i’m sure.” he said.
you felt the familiar rage blossom in your chest. suddenly you felt regret, reaching behind you for the doorknob.
“this was a mistake.” you seethe.
before you can turn the doorknob, eunseok takes a step towards you. when you turn the doorknob he takes another step. he clears the space between you two, and continues coming closer until you have to look up at him. eunseok moves his hand to clasp over yours on the doorknob. the warmth of his hand coaxes you to let go of the doorknob, and he brings his other hand to hold yours. you can already feel the heat across your cheeks, and you can see the blush dust across eunseok’s face the longer he looks down at you.
you don’t know why eunseok humors you even though you’re no longer together. you don’t know why he takes his time teasing you. you came to him in the middle of the night in a tight short dress after a failed date. he could’ve taken you in the hallway or the couch in the living room, god knows you deserved it. but he was gentle with you, bringing his hand to brush underneath your chin to keep your head tilted up at him.
“you don’t know why you’re here?” eunseok asked again.
you silently shook your head, knowing he’d show you why. he looked at your lips, and eunseok pressed his leg between yours. the movement made your dress ride up. you remembered that eunseok bought you this dress when he let go of your hand to reach for the zipper. he still remembered that he had to hold the fabric straight to get the zipper to work, and he pulled it down in one smooth motion. you got up from the wall to aid him, and you didn’t protest when the dress became loose on your skin. you only continued to look up at eunseok, feeling your eyes become glassy as the fabric pooled to your feet.
“you still don’t know?” he asked quietly. 
eunseok brought his fingers to run over the trim of your bra, letting out a sigh when you tilted your head back in approval. you didn’t have to answer eunseok for him to know your response. he only laughed, teasingly bending down past your lips to kiss your shoulder.
when eunseok moved to your neck you brought your hands to his shoulder. you kept him there, letting your legs bend slightly to rest some of your weight on his leg. he was strong underneath you, the flexing muscle in his thigh made you want to grind against him. before you could do anything else, eunseok worked his kisses up to your ear then completely pulled away.
“let’s go to the bed.” he said.
you complied immediately, making your way to your old side of the bed as eunseok walked around. 
both of your stood next to the bed, staring at the other. you waited for his instruction, but eunseok stared at you waiting for your next move. it made you swallow your nerves, and you reached behind you to undo the clasp on your bra. eunseok watched you fully clothed on the other side, completely still as you moved to your underwear. eunseok watched you push your underwear past your knees, until you could step out of them. 
as you brought your arms to cross against your chest, eunseok let you watch as he pulled his shirt over his head. you looked at his toned stomach, how he ran his hand down his body before getting to the waistband of his sweats. you moved from foot to foot, trying to not make it obvious how much of a mess you were already becoming. it felt like the first time again, both of you trying to remember what your bodies looked like now. you had stretch marks like tiger stripes now, and eunseok had grown into his body. you no longer felt like the young adult you were when you first met him as eunseok pulled down his sweats to reveal his white briefs. as he reached for the waistband he motioned to the bed, silently telling you to get on first.
you pressed your hands into the foam and crawled to eunseok’s side. you sat back on your legs, perched and ready to listen. eunseok grabbed your hand that was balled up at your sides, kissing your palm after spreading out your fingers. you wanted to press your hand into his toned stomach and travel down until you could squeeze his length over the fabric of his underwear, but you let eunseok kiss every single one of your knuckles as he kept burning eye contact with you. when he let your hand fall back to the bed he reached into the top drawer of the night stand. when your mind caught quickly on you shifted on your knees.
“i’m not seeing anyone.” you said quickly.
“what about your date?” eunseok asked.
you shook your head, hoping that eunseok wouldn’t make you say it out loud. the smug smile that blossomed across his face was enough of a response.
“so no condom?” he teased.
eunseok eyed you carefully as he put the foil packet back down on his dresser. he watched you shrug your shoulders and look away, focusing on fluffing his pillows. he sits back on his haunches as he watched you get comfortable laying on your side. it’s been too long since he’s seen you like this, naked and getting ready for him. seeing the line of your body settle on his sheets makes eunseok want to tell you how much he changed. how he’s not the same twenty-year old who broke your heart by hiding his feelings. he wants to tell you that he’s a responsible adult now, and that his therapist tells him every session he’s making real progress. 
when you settle onto the mattress you turn to face him. eunseok notices how you fail to hold eye contact with him longer than a second before turning away. your hand that was rubbing up and down your body goes to fraying thread on the sheets, and your eyes dart away to focus on the wall behind eunseok.
“hurry before i change my mind.” you were anything but convincing. your words had no bite as you patiently waited for eunseok to fall into his place beside you. “you should be thanking me. god knows when’s the last time you had sex.” you said.
even if you tried to seem threatening, eunseok saw your body seize in anticipation when he shifted on the bed. he took his time, going to his back first to fully take off his underwear. he enjoyed seeing you trying to take quick peaks over your shoulder to look at his bare body and hearing your nails scratch the sheets to try and collect yourself. 
eunseok put his hand on the side of your knee when he shifted his body again. he ran his hands up slowly, his touch light as a feather to try and make bumps erupt across your skin. eunseok scooted his body closer to yours, his arm that was between his body and the mattress fell into place underneath your neck. 
the two of you went into your old routine, muscle memory of your past together in bed guided your movements. you both told yourselves your bodies were acting on their own accord. that was the excuse echoing around in both of your heads as you scooted your body back to meet eunseok’s and why he pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder blade. you gasped from the feeling, and suddenly the familiarity between you two filled the room. the closeness of your bodies was nearly blinding, you put your hand over eunseok’s that had found it’s place on your ass. 
eunseok foolishly thought that this position would protect him, that not being able to see your face would help him have emotionless sex with you. but feeling your fingers seamlessly intertwine with his made his heart pound against your back. each time he tried to slightly pull back you only followed him, chasing after the warmth of him against you. he thought fast to distract you before you could point it out, he reluctantly separated his hand from yours to lift your leg, making it come over his. the change made you lean forward to put your hand on the mattress to stabilize yourself. eunseok leaned forward, and wrapped his arm that was under you underneath your chest to bring you close.
“the last time i had sex?” when your leg was locked over eunseok’s he used his fingers to swipe at your folds. you preened your ass backwards, making a sound of embarrassment at how wet you were. “it was when i came over to help you with your tv, remember?” he whispered.
eunseok let the memories flood over you as both of your bodies shivered. it was months ago, you needed help putting together and setting up the brand new television you got for christmas. you were never much of the handyman, and eunseok wanted an excuse to come over to your new place. so while she was at daycare eunseok was invited over, and just like now one thing led to another until you were on top of eunseok. he remembers trying to kiss your knees that were bruised from being pressed to the ground and you told him to go away. he also remembers after the fact you used the excuse that you were lonely due to the holiday season. but now it was summer and you were moaning for him like you always used to. when eunseok pressed his lips to the side of your face you didn’t tell him to go away, you only turned your head to give him better access.
“you said you hated me then.” eunseok said.
eunseok pushed two fingers into your heat and a satisfied smile spread across his face when your lips parted. he sees you nod your head, trying to form a coherent sentence.
“i do.” you respond.
you can barely get through your sentence without your voice pitching upwards. eunseok feels you attempt to push your hips back to meet hie fingers. 
“you still hate me?” eunseok slips in a third finger to try and change your mind. “after all these years?” he asks.
“i do.” you say, shaking your head.
eunseok talks your mixed signals as a sign he’s doing something right. maybe by the third time you come to him like this he will get you to say no, maybe even have you initiate the kiss first. he uses it as motivation to keep pumping his fingers into your heat, and bringing you closer by the hand that’s on your chest. 
when you try wedging your hand between your bodies to find eunseok’s dick, he moves out of the way. he shakes his head in the crook of your neck. he imagines the look of frustration on your face, the one that’s seared into the back of his eyelids as he lifts your leg. you fall forward once again from the new angle and eunseok lets you. 
“fuck me please, eunseok.” you whine into the sheets. 
you use the rest of your strength to push your body back to its side and you moved eunseok’s hand down to your chest. he can feel your heart jumping in its cage as you continue whining for him. his chest swells when he feels your desperate hand reach down again to grab his dick. he lets you and looks down to guide his dick to your hand. when you hold him it’s his turn to whine. he forgot what it was like to be touched by you that he has half a mind to ask you to just jerk him off. maybe he’ll turn you around, just so he can see your eyes blow out with lust as he finishes. but just like always does he keeps his thoughts to himself and lets you decide what you want. when you pull his fingers out of your hole he leans forward, letting his hard dick press against your ass.
both of you are so desperate your movements become rushed. eunseok ruts his dick into your ass from the haste, and you clench your hand around his dick. you pump his length a few times, just wanting to hear the man behind you sigh contently trying to hold back his moans. you continue to do it, letting the slick sounds of his precum between your hands fill the room until his sighs turn to quiet whines. 
“turn around.” eunseok kisses your shoulder, pressing his lips into your skin to muffle his words “look at me.” he begs.
you ignore him, even though you both know you can hear him. you both know that the position you’re in currently is too intimate for people who claim to hate eachother. you both know that eye contact is dangerous, that it would only bring back feelings you both put so much energy into denying. so eunseok lets you ignore him and plays off his pleads by lightly biting your skin. you moan from the pain that lights your body like a fire, and eunseok puts his hand over yours to guide his dick the rest of the way.
“ready?” eunseok asks.
eunseok says it just as quiet as his previous plead. when you nod and whimper out a yes he feels his heart drop. he knows it was an act of self preservation, but he wished to see your face. he had to settle for his imagination and your sounds when he pushed his tip past your entrance, pushing every inch inside you you until his hips kissed yours. you sucked him in and kept his dick in place, fitting around him like a glove. there was no better feeling in the world, nothing tasted better than the salt from your skin that stayed on eunseok’s lips. he put his hand on your ass to spread you out enough to draw his hips back. he heard you fist the sheets and he felt you grab his hand on your chest to steady yourself. he slid back in just as slow, cursing each time your walls seized around him. 
it had been too long. eunseok was actively abandoning all of his instincts feeling you around him. he felt himself caring less and less about not wearing a condom the closer he got.
“i’m gonna cum if you keep clenching around me like that” he grunted into your shoulder.
eunseok moved his hand on your ass to press his hand deep into your lower stomach, causing you to push your hips further back. he swore he could feel himself inside of your stomach, and the sound that ripped from your throat made him believe you felt it too. the new angle let eunseok push his hips further into you. you could no longer hold your head upright as you let it fall into the pillows to muffle your sounds. even now you held back, trying to keep some shred of your dignity.
eunseok lifted his head to try and look down at you. he could see your eyes closed from the pleasure, and the thin layer of sweat that glistened across your face. the tiny beads and your supple skin caught in the moonlight. eunseok bent down to kiss your cheek, trying to entice you to turn your head again. for the second time, eunseok could tell you were ignoring him. he forgot what you were trying to protect yourself from as he felt your walls seize around him again. it was getting sporadic, and your breaths were turning into quick huffs. when your hand tightened over his eunseok used his leg to raise yours even more. his hand on your stomach found your clit quickly, rubbing circles that complimented his thrusting. you finally turned your head from the mattress, you even turned a little further to look eunseok in the eyes.
“i’m so close, seok.” you whispered.
eunseok saw you close your eyes and catch your bottom lip between your teeth, another telltale sign of you trying to focus. you dragged his hand that gripped your chest to your neck. you looked down at you trying so desperately to take the tenderness from this moment. if eunseok squeezed his hand around your neck like you wanted, it would be easy for you both to claim this was simply just a horny mistake, a borderline hate-fuck. he made that mistake the first time, hand around your neck as he told you how much he hated you. he looked into your eyes when he said it, trying to revel in the way your eyes flashed in pain between the moments of bliss. he didn’t mean it then but he definitely didn’t mean it now—like he said before he has changed. 
so instead of pressing his fingers into the veins on the side of your neck he traveled up to your chin, turning your head so you were forced to look at him. you were shocked, eyes so wide and your face so close to his eunseok could see himself in the reflection of your pupils. he placed a kiss right on your lips, not pulling back until he felt your lips move against his. he sees himself in your eyes again, and he sees his spit glistening on your lips. he feels himself inside of you, and he feels your warmth cover his entire being.
“i think i was made for you.” 
eunseok meant to say it quietly just for himself as a silent realization, but the way you nod makes him believe it to be true. eunseok feels you get your strength back as you push your hips backwards to meet his hard and deep thrusts.
“you still are.” you moaned.
he tells himself that you are just talking to fill the void of silence. eunseok also tells himself that you can’t bring yourself to ignore him for the third time this night when you’re looking him right in eyes. regardless, eunseok can also feel himself getting closer as you clench repeatedly around his twitching dick.
“oh my god.” you moan.
eunseok pulls your body closer when he feels you shudder against him. you start driving your hips back without rhythm, trying anything you can to keep the stimulation going. eunseok still looks down at you as you cum, and he smiles at the irony of you trying so hard to keep eye contact. you give into closing your eyes when he slips a finger into your mouth, and he can feel the vibration of your moans around his digit. 
when you start getting weaker, and settling into eunseok’s hold he pulls his hand from your clit to pull out. when you open your eyes again they’re glassy. they’re no longer half lidded as you grab eunseok’s wrist, stopping him from pulling out.
both of you look down at your hand. you look almost as shocked as eunseok, like something came over you to stop him from pulling out. eunseok takes it in stride, pushing back into you with a force that has you moaning around his finger. you turns your head even further to face him. he kisses the apple of your cheek and then your lips, smiling against your pout.
“you want another baby?” eunseok moved down from your cheek to your jaw. “you really wouldn’t be able to get rid of me then.” he whispered once he made it to your ear.
before you could say anything back, eunseok latched onto the skin right below your ear, sucking and pressing his teeth in the area below your jaw. the stimulation made your lower half sink further down onto the mattress, until you were relying fully on eunseok’s strength to keep your body up. memories flood back to eunseok, but the way he still remembers how you sound and respond to everything makes him think he never forgot in the first place. both of your bodies move simultaneously, when he pulls away from your neck you tilt your head to give him access to the other side. you preen your neck towards him, whimpering quietly when he lingers above the spot.
“oh my god.” you start shaking and eunseok feels your nails dig into his skin. “too much.” you whimper.
eunseok turns your head back around to press let his face rest against yours. you still suck around his fingers, and he can feel you turn your head to kiss whatever parts of his face you can reach. you still clamp around him, your cum adds to the lewd sounds that fill the room.
“can i cum inside?” eunseok asks.
eunseok closes his eyes and focuses on everything about you. he hold back until he feels your head nod against his.
“please.” you bring your hand behind you to run through his hair. “i miss you so much” you whimper around his fingers.
“i miss you more.” eunseok whispers.
he doesn’t hold back anymore as he empties into you. he turns to the crook of your neck, sucking harshly at your skin to relieve even more of the tension. when his hips still you take the lead, plating your hand onto the mattress to give your hips more stability. eunseok grips your ass, kneading the flesh desperately to try and ground himself. he pulls away from your skin to whimper into your ear. 
you two can no longer speak, only communicating through the hushed sounds of euphoria. eunseok brings both of his hands to wrap around you, bringing your body as close to his as possible. you can no longer push your hips back from the new angle and that’s exactly what eunseok wants. he forces you both to stay still, to feel all of it—the way his dick pulses inside of you as he cums deep inside of you. even when eunseok gives you all he has, you both stay in that position. you both settle deeper into the bed, catching your breath as your skin doesn’t break contact. 
neither of you want to be the first to speak or to force the other one to come back to reality. so you two remain silent as eunseok pulls out. you don’t say a word when eunseok turns your body around to face him, or when he pulls the covers over your sweaty bodies. he returns the favor by saying nothing when your nestle into his chest and you guide his arm to wrap around your body. 
309 notes · View notes
lovebugism · 13 hours
Note
oh my god absolutely feral for the cynical prompt list PLEASE!!! maybe like bad at feelings/grumpy!r x steve with these vibes?:
• "you.. LIKE ME???" "i'm a little wary but so far, yes."
• "you're my favorite person. i didn't know you could have those."
• i love the idea that although they're cynical they would simultaneously not care to admit it ^ like "okay, yeah, i fell in love. so what???? people fall in puddles, and pools, and you know, other things!!! don't hold this against me!"
or literally anything from that list like i just know you’d eat
hope you like it angel xoxo — you tell steve you love him for the first time in front of all your friends who didn't even know you were dating (grumpy!r, fluff, 1.3k)
Eddie drops off a few Hellfire stragglers at Family Video after a lengthy campaign, you among them. Robin watches you file in with a freckled chin nestled in her palm. “Stevie! Your children are here!” she singsongs in the otherwise empty store, flipping unenthusiastically through an old magazine.
Dustin and Lucas grumble under their breaths about being called children, though you think they’re still very much deserving of the term. Eddie, meanwhile, crosses his leather-clad arms over his chest. “You know I’m older than him, right?” he monotones with squinted eyes. “So that’s, like, scientifically impossible.”
You deadpan from beside him, somehow more stoic than the raucously dressed metalhead. “And also, I’m dating him,” you frown. “So that’d be, like, extra weird.”
Everyone looks at you like you’ve grown two heads, then. Like you’ve just said something awful. 
Steve’s presence saves you, but only for a moment. He comes out from the back wearing a stupid grin on his scruffy face. “Hey, babe,” he greets you first, with a wide hand spread warmly over your back. 
When he ducks down for a fleeting kiss, you can taste the Cheetos he’d been snacking on and the wintergreen gum he’d just plucked into his mouth. The concoction is strange. Maddening, still.
All of your friends leer at you for several long moments. They gape at the two of you in horror, as though there was some kind of truth in what Robin had just announced moments ago — as though you and Steve shouldn’t be kissing at all.
“Wait,” Lucas mumbles, filling the heavy silence. His face twists in confusion a second later. “What?”
Eddie’s pale face contorts in something short offense, like you’ve betrayed him somehow. You sort of did, in a way. You’re Hellfire’s prettiest, grumpiest, weirdest member — you’re not supposed to be dating Steve The Hair Harrington. It goes against, like, every unwritten rule in the handbook. 
“Is this why you wanted me to drop you off here?” he questions, palpably heartbroken. “So you two could— suck face?”
You shrug, emotionless. “Sorta.”
“We have a date tonight,” Steve announces with a proud smile. He squeezes gently at your shoulder, then cowers at the glare you give him. He clears his throat and corrects himself. “Not date.”
You’ve noticed his very strange tendency to call any time you spend together a date. You don’t like that. It makes you feel it’s some kind of appointment you have to book with him — an engagement you have to put too much effort into. Sometimes, you don’t want to go on a date. You just want to sleep over at his place, steal one of his shirts, and raid his kitchen in your underwear. 
Eddie does everything but pout. “But I thought… I thought we came here to bother Steve until he let us take something home for free?” he confesses in a quiet voice.
“We can still do that if you want.”
“Yeah, but it’s not the same,” he frowns.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Robin shouts, abandoning her magazine and waving her hands in front of her face. “How did I not know about this?”
Steve bounces his shoulder, jostling the nametag pinned to his chest. “You don’t know everything about me, Buckley,” he sasses.
“So… you like him?” she presses, pointing to you and then the boy beside you. “You like Steve? Steve Harrington?”
You swallow hard and hope you don’t look as anxious as you feel. You shrug to feign an air of nonchalance. “I’m still a little wary about it, but, yeah… So far, anyway.”
Dustin’s senses return to him, then. He shakes his curly head in disbelief. “That is just… confounding,” he mumbles to himself.
“And how long has this been going on, exactly?” Robin squints.
“Couple months, I guess,” you monotone.
Steve has a much different, much more enthusiastic answer. 
“Well, if we’re going by the first time I knew she liked me, it’s been five months. But if we’re going by the first time we kissed, it’s been four,” he rambles with his honey eyes flitted to the ceiling. “But if we’re going by the first time she actually admitted she liked me, it’s been… A wonderful six days.”
He flashes you a grin, which you meet with a hardened scowl. “Shut up…” you grumble, but don’t push him away when he cuddles you closer to his side.
“You? And Steve Harrington?” Eddie gapes. “You’re kissing?”
Steve scoffs. “Well, we’re dating Munson. So obviously we’re kissing. Among other things…”
You dig an elbow into his ribs to shove him away. “Do you have a death wish?” you spit, eyes narrowed and bitter, while the boy just chuckles to himself.
“It’s just… weird,” Dustin remarks.
“But, like, a good weird,” Lucas nods. “Like a solar eclipse, sort of weird.”
“Or, like, that one in a billion chance of atoms aligning and your hand going directly through a solid object, sort of weird,” the curly-haired boy adds, punctuating his sentence by slapping the front counter. His palm collides with the hard surface with a resounding thud.
“What did you think was gonna happen?” Steve monotones when Dustin winces.
“Well, impossible things happen all the time, Steve. Including now.”
You start to choke on the attention. The stares are borderline suffocating. A bunch of wide-eyed gazes holding yours until you feel like you can hardly breathe. 
“What’s the big deal?” you blurt before you mean to. “We fell in love. Who cares? Dustin fell into a puddle earlier today— how’s that any different? People fall all the time.”
Dustin’s eyes narrow. “I thought we agreed not to bring that up.”
“Wait…” Steve mumbles, pink lips quirked in a crooked smile. His chocolate gaze glimmers with hope and confusion, eyes darting back and forth between yours. “You’re… You’re in love with me?”
“Yeah?” you shrug, trying not to cower at the way he looks at you. “So what?”
His grin widens. It takes everything in him not to kiss the life out of you then. He settles for a warm squeeze at your shoulder for now. “Nothing. Nothing, I just— I love you back. That’s all.”
The honeyed moment is ended bitterly by the sound of Eddie’s fake gagging. Robin gripes beneath the horrid noise, “You guys are gross…”
Lucas smiles. “I think it’s sweet.”
“Only ‘cause you’re more lovesick than these two idiots,” Eddie scoffs. He saunters away from you and takes the two Hellfire boys by the shoulder, leading them inevitably to the Sci-Fi section. Robin has no choice but to fix her frowning face and smile when a customer walks in.
With the crowd freshly dispersed, and the attention no longer on the two of you, you look up at Steve with a softer look than you’re used to. “Why did you look so shocked?” you murmur, eyes all squishy around the edges. “When I told you that I— that I loved you or whatever.”
“I wasn’t shocked,” Steve laughs and turns to face you fully. “I just… wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”
You squint. “So you were shocked?”
“…I guess so. Yeah.”
“Well— you’re like— my favorite person or whatever,” you stumble over your words, finding it suddenly very difficult to meet his gaze. You gesture wildly with anxious hands. “And I didn’t even know you could have one of those, so… By that logic, I figured I must be in love with you.”
Steve grins, maybe bigger than he realizes. It’s all plush and pink and petaled, dripping with an adoration you’re not sure you deserve. “Well, by that logic, I must be in love with you, too, then, huh?”
“Guess so…” you grumble under your breath.
Steve smiles at the distant look of disgust scrunching your pretty face. “You’re so cute…” he mumbles under his breath, pressing a kiss to your pout before you can blink.
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httpknjoon · 2 days
Text
the crown | jjk
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plot | While staying in Blaire's beach house, your friends cannot help but notice your new tattoos. The ones you got with your secret boyfriend.
words | 2.7k+
genres | fluff, crack,  secret relationship au, established relationship au, friends to lovers au
pairing | jungkook x reader
note | we're back at the beach house!! things are about to get sloppy lol I love love LOVE this one so much, I had fun writing it. i hope you'll enjoy reading it too!
main masterlist  |  drabble series masterlist
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Jungkook was still deep in his slumber when he sensed a rustling sound near him. At first, he didn’t mind it. Maybe you were just shifting on the bed. But then, he figured there wasn’t any movement in the foam mattress you two were sleeping on. That’s when he hears your voice.
“Oh, you’re coming? Do you want to go with me, baby?” your voice was hushed, trying not to disrupt your boyfriend’s sleep.
But with Bam jumping up and down excitedly while you walked around the room, Jungkook slowly opened his eyes. His vision was a little blurry but he could see your figure standing in front of the mirror. Rubbing his eyes, he stretched his limbs under the sheets. He sees you clearly under the dimmed light, wearing your plain black sports bra and shorts.
“Where you going?” he asked with his voice still deep and groggy.
You turned around, “Oh, you’re awake? Did I wake you?”
Still comfortable on the bed, Jungkook lazily nodded his head. You frowned before walking up to him.
“I’m sorry, babe.” you leaned in, kissing the tip of his nose. “Me and Blaire will go on an early jog. We’ll try to catch the sunrise too.”
You’re taking Bam with you?” he looked up and you smiled at his doe eyes.
“Yeah, he seems excited already.” you chuckled. “You can join us if you wanna.”
Jungkook grunted, “It’s Saturday.”
Saturdays are synonymous with rest days to him and you are very much aware of it. Jungkook already has a workout schedule and routine for six days a week. He saves up Saturday as his cheat day. He gets to do everything he wants for the whole day without any schedule. It’s a routine he picked up sometime when he got his first job. It took a whole lot of discipline for him to get used to it.
“Well, okay. It’s just me and Bam.” 
You hooked the leash to Bam’s collar. Jungkook watched you tie your hair up with the classic bun in front of the mirror, exposing one of the tattoos you got on your forearm. His lips stretched into a small smile whenever he remembered he drew that tiger lily himself. Then, he smiled even wider when he spotted the small crown inked on your left ribs, slightly covered by your top. You turned around, instantly scrunching your eyebrows in confusion why is he smiling like a fool.
“What?”
“You’re so pretty. How are you even mine, princess?” he grinned. He sat up on the bed, exposing his bare top while the sheets pooled around his hips.
“I don’t know, babe. Maybe you just tricked me into all of this,” you utter.
Leaning in once again, you aimed for his lips. One of Jungkook’s hands reached for your cheek. It began as a slow and gentle kiss. Until you had to sit down on the mattress while still kissing him. You placed a hand on his chest as the kiss deepened. Jungkook’s hands moved from your cheek down to your waist, pulling you closer to him until there was no space left. Like a rhythm, your lips move together.
“Ah,” you moaned when he bit your lower lip, making his tongue gain access easily.
Lost in what’s happening, you just cannot keep your hands to yourself. From his chest, shoulders, and arms, to his hair. Jungkook shivers at your touch. He was so ready to carry you on top of him when you tugged on his hair, pulling him away. 
“I gotta go, Blaire’s already waiting outside,” you whispered, breathlessly. 
Your chests were both heaving with your lips swollen and red from this unexpected intense session. You were about to stand up but his hold on your waist stopped you. His eyes pleaded for you to stay, but you shook your head. You laughed when he began peppering kisses on your neck, tickling you at some spot.
“Twenty minutes?” he asked, in between kisses.
“No.”
“Ten?” he continued bargaining for your time while planting his lips from the skin on your neck to your shoulder.
And when you shook your head again, he stopped and looked at you. You can feel his thumb tracing circled on the skin where you got your dainty crown tattoo.
“Five? I can be quick, princess.” He smirked.
You laughed, pushing his face away as you stood up, “I doubt that. Me and Bam are just gonna go..”
He frowned when he saw you pick up your phone and Bam’s leash. Jungkook slides down the bed again, wrapping himself with the blanket. Before you walked out the door, you turned around.
“Don’t forget to go back to your room, okay? Sleep well, babe.”
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“Good morning,” Blaire nodded when she noticed you and cooed when she saw your big baby, who was also happy to see your friend.
Blaire was already waiting outside the beach house, stretching her arms, when you and Bam saw her. You looked around the beach. The crescent moon was still visible in the purplish-blue sky. The waves were calmer as they met the ends of the sand. You took in the fresh breath of air, calming you down.
“You can release Bam from this. He doesn’t really have anywhere to run to here.” Blaire suggested.
She was right. Considering that the whole area is private property, white wooden fences are placed on the spots where your dog might want to go. You agreed, unhooking the leash. Almost instantly, Bam ran near the ocean where he could watch the waves. You didn’t really worry as you can still see him from a distance. You began stretching next to Blaire.
“I was knocking on Dara’s door to ask her to join us but she wasn’t answering.” She shared.
You snickered, “We know her, she’s a deep sleeper.”
“Yeah, I wish I could sleep everywhere that great all the time.” She quipped, making you two laugh. “How about Jenny?”
“She said, she’ll try to show up. But won’t promise to. I think she had a long day yesterday in the restaurant.” You replied.
“Ah, yes. She talked about her suppliers stressing her out.” Blaire recalled. “She was ranting the whole time we were on our way here.”
As usual, everyone was in buddy-buddy mode on their way here to Blaire’s beach house last night. You, Jungkook, and Bam were all in his Jeep Wrangler. Blaire came with Jenny. While Dara picked up Wooshik at his house. now that Blaire is aware of you and Jungkook the last time you were here, she put you and your boyfriend in rooms next to each other. The house was massive, thanks to her wealthy aunt. So it would be weird to make you share a room. This time, Blaire warned you and Jungkook about doing anything everywhere if you don’t want to be caught unexpectedly, referencing that early morning she saw you all tired in the kitchen. The warning didn’t stop him from sneaking into your room at midnight.
As soon as you two began jogging beside the sea, Blaire pointed out something.
“I never noticed you had tattoos.”
“Oh, these? It’s all new. I and Kook got it last Valentine’s. He drew it himself.” You replied in a matter-of-fact tone.
As part of your Valentine's surprise for him, you two got matching tattoos of crowns, your favorite flowers, and a clock pointing to twelve o'clock. You got the crown on your left rib, near where he likes to hold you every single time, out of habit. On the other hand, he got the crown on his knuckles with his other tattoos from before. It was the same size as yours, placed in the center. He already had tiger lilies inked on his arm before while you placed your in your right forearm that is only visible when you raise your arm. The last tattoo is on your right wrist. It was all dainty and small so it can be unnoticeable at times.
“That’s cute.” She mumbled before turning her head to you. “I’m so happy for you guys. You two seemed really happy with each other.”
“I love him so much.” You giggled, feeling your blood rushing to your cheeks. It felt like you’re in elementary all over again, having a childish crush on someone.
“I just cannot understand why you kept it a secret from us.” She spoke. “And for two years? That’s fucking impressive. Hats off to you two.”
You laughed at the recognition, “Thank you. We try our best.”
You two jogged and walked and jogged again for almost thirty minutes straight, back and forth on the sand, along with Bam. The sun was already peeking in when Jenny came down with a coffee mug to see you both. She was still in her pajamas.
“I’ll prepare everyone breakfast. How do y’all like your eggs?” she asked when you passed by where she was standing.
“Scrambled!” Both you and Blaire answered in unison.
“Orange juice or coffee?” she asked once more.
“Coffee!” You two replied together again.
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If it wasn’t for the random 6:30 AM alarm in his phone, Jungkook would have not woken up from his peaceful and satisfying slumber.  He would have slept until noon with how comfortable the whole room was. He groaned as he stretched his arms and legs. For a few more minutes, Jungkook buried his face on the soft pillow he was hugging. After five more minutes, he sat up on the corner of the mattress.
That’s when he realized where he was.
He’s still in your room and he promised to come back in his before everyone wakes up. But he can already hear pop music playing downstairs, indicating that someone or maybe everyone is already up. He put on his slippers, scratching his head. He makes his way to the door and as soon as he steps outside, another door on the floor opens.
“Morning, JK.” Wooshik greeted him.
“Morning.”
And it didn’t take Wooshik to notice something unusual. Jungkook watched him look at him to the door then at him again. His best friend squinted at him.
“What?”
Wooshik raised an eyebrow, “What were you doing in YN’s room?”
Jungkook’s heart stopped for a second. His hold on your door knob tightened as the gear in his brain works quicker than it usually does in the morning. Once he thought of something, he pushed it close.
“I was… looking for Bam. I thought I could take him with me outside.” He reasoned out, that even he is not buying it totally.
“But you look like you just woke up.” Wooshik’s tone is too curious like that Sheldon kid from that show.
“Yeah, I went as soon as I woke up.” Jungkook crossed his arm over his chest. He looked directly at his best friend. That is when he noticed something too. “And what were you doing in Dara’s room?”
They exchanged glares from one another. Jungkook nods his chin in a sassy way while Wooshik squinted his eyes to him. It’s a way to say something like I know that you did something I just cannot prove it.
“I borrowed her charger. I left mine at home.” Wooshik showed the charger he was holding. “Everyone is already downstairs. Dara’s helping Jenny with breakfast.”
He didn’t wait for Jungkook to answer and strolled down the stairs. Jungkook didn’t say anything and followed. The appetizing smell of bacon immediately enters his nostrils as he makes his way to the dining area. That’s when he sees Dara carefully pouring coffee on every empty mug on the table while Jenny fries some bacon. There’s already toast and eggs on the table so Jungkook reached for a slice. Wooshik, who plugged his phone into the living room, entered and sat on the chair opposite his.
“Bam’s already outside, by the way.” He told him.
“Is he?” Jungkook asked, acting naïve.
“Yeah, Blaire and YN are jogging outside.”
“Oh, they are?” Jungkook asked again.
It’s obvious Wooshik is suspicious and teasing him so he teases him back. His best friend glared at him, Jungkook scrunched his nose, taking a bite from his toast. The tension was only broken when Dara asked Wooshik,
“Milk? Sugar?”
“Sugar, please.” He replied, smiling at her. Then, frowning back to Jungkook.
Jungkook mocked, “Shugar, pleash.”
The backdoor to the beach opens, letting the sunshine enter. Bam was the first to come in, wagging his tail as he made his way to Jungkook. Blaire enters, greeting everyone. You followed behind like a ray of sunshine in your boyfriend’s eyes. Your hair bun is now a little loose while your skin glistens through your sweat.
“Now, everyone here. Let’s all have our breakfast.” Dara said, sitting next to Blaire and Wooshik.
You sat next to Jungkook, while on your other side was Blaire. He handed you the plate of scrambled eggs. He also placed two slices of toast on your plate, one with spread butter on top. Everyone began talking about what do they wanted to the whole weekend since you all our staying in the beach house the entire time.
“Can we do bonfire later?”  Dara suggested.
Blaire nods, “Yeah! We can barbecue too and those marshmallows stuff.”
“Then, we should go out later to buy groceries,” Jenny said.
You just listened, enjoying your food and coffee. Many other suggestions were made since everyone is taking their rest days before returning to their lives next week.
“YN, can you pass me the bacon?” Blaire asked.
You did, unaware that your top slightly raised when you moved.
“Is that a tattoo?!” Dara pointed out to the crown on your skin. 
Then, Jenny saw the other one, “Wait, you have two?”
“Three actually.” you smiled, showing off the clock on your wrist.
You seemed proud as they complimented the color of the lilies or the design of the clock. Jungkook hides the growing smile on his lips while sipping in his mug. Also, on the other side of the table, Wooshik was the first one to ask.
“Are there meanings behind them?”
You nodded, “Yes, of course.”
“Well, the tiger lily here represents confidence and good fortune. I like that,” you explained.
“Wait. Jungkook, you have those too right?” Dara asked him.
Jungkook nods and shows off his forearm. “Yeah, right here. YN is just a copycat.”
You rolled your eyes, “For the record, I am not. Someone suggested it to me.”
“Who?” they asked collectively, including Blaire as if she was unaware of who.
Instead of answering the question, you just smiled eating your toast. They groaned. During your Galentines with the girls, you already told them about meeting someone special. And you assume that the news already reached Wooshik.
“It’s her secret boyfriend!” Wooshik exclaimed like he solved a murder mystery.
Again, you didn’t say anything. But your ex[ression is enough to show that you and your love life are currently in a happy state.
“Seriously, when are we gonna meet this guy? You seemed like floating on cloud 9 just thinking of him right now.” Jenny said.
You heard Jungkook chuckle beside you. You secretly pat his lap under the table, stopping him from getting too prideful from what he’s hearing.
“Soon. We’re already talking about planning something so you guys can meet him,” you told them. “Anyway, moving on…”
With you talking about your secret boyfriend, one person at the table cannot help but recall the same statement he heard from Jungkook when he found out about Princess. Wooshik eyes you while pointing to the tattoo on your wrist and Jungkook, who’s just watching everything, specifically you. For the first time, Wooshik noticed how different his best friend looked at you. Jungkook has his head resting on his hand, looking at you like you are the most precious gem in the world. There was this adoration and fondness in his best friend’s eyes as he looked at you. Jungkook’s quiet glance at you speaks so loud that Wooshik feels so dumb that this is the first time he has seen this.
“And what about the crown?” Jenny asked.
You showed off the said tattoo, “Oh, I’ve been feeling lucky and loved lately. You know, like a princess.”
Like a princess.
And that was the confirmation Wooshik got.
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TAGLIST (closed)
@hobiuwusunshine @alinerl @bbangtanlove95 @daydreamiies @craftymoonchaos @awseokjin @yoonabeo @luvrsofbts @bloopkook @chvngbiin @takochelle @wildarmy @cuddlysoftbear @luv-minhyun-world @shydestinyyouth @bbtsficrecs @fan-ati--c @rjsmochii @jkbabiey @hopeworldjimin @chieftoadturkeynickel @ppeachyttae @tannies-luv @loomipee @sanctify-mp3 @stuffy1985 @di0rgguk @tswisal1 @amara-mars @jksgirlhere @callmejimmeo @rapmonie2047 @daemontargaryenwhore @juju-227592
269 notes · View notes
Writing Scarecrow as a heartless monster doesn't make sense to me, I know and respect those who do this in the fandom, but it's just not for me.
And I say that because there's multiple times in the canon where he shows himself to still be human under the mask. I'm not saying he's a good person, far from it actually. BUT that doesn't mean he CAN'T DO GOOD for christs sake.
He tortured his favorite students abuser, in which it's heavily hinted to be sexual abuse
He returned to teaching multiple times, even teaching classes IN arkham
He gave up a scheme to make Gotham illiterate all because Robin convinced him that knowledge is important and that HE is important
The little girl he abused in Cycle of Violence drew him a picture and he actually cried over it, and in the end he saved her from an exploding building when he very well could have left her to die.
To me, this is enough proof that he does have a conscious, even if it is small and useless most of the time. When push comes to shove, he CAN do the right thing
Batman villains are meant to be complex humans, confused and mentally ill humans who just need help. BTAS taught us all that as kids, so why did we become cynical adults who can't have a little fun? Let him be human, make mistakes, occasionally do good, and just...exist as a flawed character.
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myers-meadow · 2 days
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Foolish Gratitude (Rolan x Tav)
Pairing: Rolan x Tav
Summary: After you saved Rolan from the shadow people, his mood worsens. It's up to you to make him feel better. AKA Rolan hatefucks you <3
Warnings: smut, 18 +, dub-con, penetration, (mild) spanking, degrading language, fem Tav (she/her and vulva used), submissive tav, no aftercare shown in the fic, no discussion of kinks or consent, Tav is into it though ^^.
Word count: 1767
This is my first ever foray into writing Rolan 💞✨, please be nice. Reblogs and comments are very appreciated (please feed my brainrot i beg). Proofread by the very kind @gauntermetaverse - thank you! Divider by saradika-graphics.
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Rolan is taking his loss hard. After that drunk night, he turns mean - doubly so after you save him from the darkness the next day.
The Last Light Inn is pleasant tonight. There's some gossip, some small hopes and dreams shared at a table, and some tears. At least there is still warm soup, you think to yourself as you sit down at a small table with a bowl full. It warms you in just the way you need it to. The rest of your companions are around, resting, playing board games, reading. Lae'zel is armwrestling whomever dares. Gale is talking to Halsin about the nature of the shadow curse. A quiet evening. Your bowl is empty, and you stand to return it to the bar.
"There we have her; our beloved hero," It could've been Raphael if it wasn't for the cruel sarcasm dripping from his every word. Rolan. "Come to the inn to gloat? To rub it into my face how much better you are?"
He's not even that drunk, but his anger is something fierce. In the past, you were understanding, kind. The man has been going through a lot. But now... Even you are losing patience in the face of his barbed words.
"Rolan," You start, your tone soft, not wanting this to escalate. "I know you're-"
He cuts you off. "No, you don't know. But I have something better in mind."
He grabs you by the fabric over your shoulder - you're in your camp clothes, no armour to protect you here - and drags you past the bar. All the while, he's hissing things at you like a cat who had her pride hurt.
To avoid escalation, you follow him willingly. Then, the door of a small food supply closet shuts and the lock clicks shut. The key clatters against the ground as Rolan drops it over his shoulder.
"A hero who doesn't know her place, that won't do..." He muses as he stands over you. A cruel smile licks at the corners of his mouth. "How fortunate I've always been a good teacher."
His tone is startling. He doesn't even seem drunk. "Rolan, that’s-" 
He clamps a hand over your mouth. He's so close that you feel his breath on your cheek as he turns your head to the side. He breathes deep. "You think you can solve everything." The grip on your cheeks is hard enough to make you feel he's gonna leave a bruise.
Your muffled sounds go ignored. Rolan chuckles, and it sends a weird tingling sensation through your lower belly.
"You're gonna have to be quiet for this lesson," He says, and with a dizzying movement, he turns you to face the wall. A warm hand gropes at your ass, through the thin fabric of that cute skirt you found in a chest at Sharess' Caress. His nails dig in. How good it feels, startles you. None too gently, he bends you over - still keeping his hand over your mouth.
"You're nothing more than any other adventurer in this inn. Yet you think you're owed all this gratitude, all this praise..." His voice curls meanly at the end. "You need to learn. To really feel where you belong." 
In his groping, he moves your skirt up and tucks in the waistband so it stays. The first slap, hard, short, without warning, has you twist against his hold, and with a muffled shout to match.
Rolan tuts. "Now, hero, is that how you take a little spanking? I would've thought you could take more. This is a disappointment, really."
The second slap lands on your other asscheek, just as stinging as the first. The third deepens the sensation. You don't struggle out of his hold, instead, you lean into it. After the fourth, he soothes your sore bum with strokes of his hand. That's far from the end, though. A fifth, a sixth, the heat increases, the stinging takes longer to leave after each slap. Seventh, eight, and you lose count. His speed increases, and your shouts of pain turn to whimpers as he tires you out.
He seems barely out of breath as he speaks again. "And that is the hero against the Absolute. Pathetic. Look at you. Whimpering after just a few meager slaps." Another sharp one lands, your whiny moan of pain punctuating his words. You're not sure you're hearing it right through the ringing in your ear, but it almost sounds like he moaned.
His hand lets go of your face, instead he pushes two fingers in your mouth. "If you can barely take a spanking, I'm not sure how you'll take this, but you owe me more than some pain."
The nails dig into your tongue, but you wet his fingers a bit too eagerly. "You want to help others, right? To serve them. You'll call me 'master', understood?"
You nod, but it's not enough. He jerks your head to the side by the fingers now hooked in your cheek.
"Yes," you manage to get out.
"Yes, what?" he grits his teeth. Another slap on your ass that feels like it's on fire.
"Yes, master." After you said it, you sigh in something close to relief that comes from the depths of your chest.
"Good. Finally you're beginning to understand." He lets go of your face fully, leaving you to feel cold without his touch. He tugs at the straps of your underwear, and the sound of fabric shifting emphasises the tension in your body. There was no way Rolan could've known your submissive streak, he really just needs to get all this pent up frustration out - somehow his wordless confidence and the lack of care for whether you enjoy it or not turns you on more. It's a primal feeling, that only very few people can unlock from within you. Exhilarating.
Something nudges between your legs, and with a start, you realise it's his cock. Even though you'd hoped this is where it was headed, had pined for him night after night, experiencing the real thing was so much more raw and real than you ever envisioned. He presses inside with little care for your comfort. It surprises you how smooth it goes in, even with you already dripping wet, it's still quite the stretch. His groan of pleasure is the most sinful thing you've ever heard.
His lips are at your ear, his tone changed completely to before. "Aren't you just good and wet for me? Filthy little slut."
Finally, his cock hits home somewhere deep inside, and the drag as he moves out is even better. "Gods, I needed this."
You can tell how much he needed this by how he wraps his arms around you, pressing your back against his chest. His horn bumps into your cheek, as he bites your bare shoulder. As slow as he went before, he seems to lose all control and sets a messy pace, slipping out and forcing himself back in again and again. The sounds of your slick and skin slapping skin are disgusting.
"Perhaps you have some redeeming qualities yet," he says, his playful tone returning as he relaxes. His grip around your torso is crushingly tight and you try to reach down to touch your clit, whining as he won't let you. "Na-ah, your first lesson isn't even done yet, you naughty girl."
Rolan fucks you roughly, his horn keeps bumping into you but neither of you mind. Every time he thrusts in, it draws attention to your sore ass, its small edge of pain only heightens the pleasure. His groans and moans are delicious. You angle your hips to make him hit deeper and he delivers, with a bruising pace. 
“Who knew the hero would be such a good little slut? Fuck, you feel amazing.”
“Rolan,” you moan, pressing your lips against his cheek. 
As much as you imagined fucking him as intense, your fantasies are nothing compared to the real thing. You moan something high-pitched as he hits just right, dragging his tip back and forth against the most sensitive parts of you. The feeling builds quickly, even without being able to touch yourself, and your breath is catching as the pleasure of being filled transcends all. 
His thrusts stutter, and although it takes great effort, he pulls out, and whirls you around. Surprised, but altogether too overwhelmed to resist him. He tugs you down to your knees. Your core throbs, yearning for him, but it’s your lips that now enjoy the taste of him. He’s salty, and you taste your own wetness on his length as he pushes himself into your mouth. When you gag, he grabs a fistful of hair, and prevents you from leaning away. No choice but to take all of him as he pumps himself in and out. Drool drips from the corners of your mouth as you try your best to please him. His groans are delightfully filthy, heavy with all his pent up emotion. Your own desire makes you light-headed. As soon as your hand darts down to your core, Rolan slaps them away. 
“What did I say? No touching.” He’s just as stern as a school teacher. Your core throbs around nothing. He groans as he makes you gag, “The others should see you now, on your knees, doing so well to please your superior.”
His grip on your hair tightens to something uncomfortable. “This just shows what can become of the high and mighty hero - ah, fuck - who amounts to nothing good without proper guidance.”
His thrusts grow sloppy, yet deep, so deep, fuck you need him inside of you so bad - he moans and pulls out. Ropes of cum land on your face, some on your tongue, or across your chest. You twitch as several flecks get in your lashes. Rolan looks so proud, smiling down on you like this, so pleased. A sense of satisfaction swells in your chest, even as you still tingle with ghosts of his touch, longing to be sated. 
Rolan bites his lip. “Such a good hero, really willing to go the extra mile for those in need…” He considers you for a moment, tracing a finger over your face. “I’m sure this is the best reward you’ve ever gotten, dear hero.” 
You’re not sure whether the curl of his lip is playful or contemptuous. After collecting enough cum on his finger, he presses it to your lips, for you to clean off for him. 
Despite, or because, of his mean expression, you say just what he wants you to say: “Thank you, master.”
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saphronethaleph · 1 day
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Literary Illusions
“It’s ironic,” Palpatine said, shaking his head. “He could save others from death, but not himself.”
Anakin frowned.
“And this is something the Jedi wouldn’t have told me?” he asked.
“Of course not,” Palpatine replied. “Is it a story you’ve heard?”
“Well, yes,” Anakin said. “Just now, from you. But not before then… and that surprises me, Chancellor.”
Palpatine shrugged. “I think you’ll find, Anakin, that the Jedi have not been telling you everything.”
“Maybe not, but… honestly, that sounds like exactly the kind of thing they’d tell me,” Anakin said.
Palpatine frowned.
“...what?” he asked.
“You know,” Anakin said. “Some Sith Lord works out how to bring people back to life from the dead, but his apprentice kills him and doesn’t bring him back to life because the Sith are inherently self destructive. If the two of them had worked together and been able to trust one another, they’d have been immortal.”
He shrugged. “It’s a good illustration of the inherently self destructive nature of the Dark Side, and it’s the dichotomy of how the Dark Side leads you to seek power in order to achieve goals that you then discard as irrelevant, because they’re not directly related to gaining power… hold on a second.”
Palpatine was a little distracted by trying to avoid mentally kicking himself, so it took him somewhat more than a second to notice what Anakin was doing.
“...Anakin?” he said. “Are you getting your comlink out?”
“Yeah,” Anakin replied. “Going to text Obi-Wan, ask him what he thinks of the story. Maybe there’s some kind of detail I missed which makes it less of a good illustration of the different worldviews and mindsets of the Jedi and the Sith.”
The Knight shrugged, his thumbs tapping away at his comlink. “He probably knows it, he knows all of the old stories.”
Palpatine blinked several times.
“...don’t,” he said, then very discreetly scrambled for a reason why. “It’s the middle of a performance. We don’t want to interrupt them.”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s on silent,” Anakin replied, with a shrug. “Or vibrate. Did I put it on vibrate… hang on, Chancellor, I’ll make sure it’s on silent…”
He turned the comlink over, then a loud bwing sounded.
“Oh, right, I forgot to set it to do not disturb mode,” Anakin said. “Hang on… uh… yeah, there we go, I forgot I added all these custom modes. I’ve been missing a lot of sleep lately.”
“Perhaps-” Palpatine began, but Anakin spoke over him.
“Huh,” he said. “He says he’s never heard of it either. Wants to know where I heard about it, it looks like he’s really interested… or maybe he’s trying to tell me about a death stick vendor, he’s terrible with multiglyphs and he thinks he’s good at them.”
Anakin glanced at the Chancellor, hoping for some solidarity, then visibly noticed that the Chancellor was several decades older than him and abandoned that.
“Is there a book I can get the whole story from?” he asked, instead. “Obi-Wan is better at nuances, like I say.”
“That is not the point,” Palpatine said, trying not to get visibly angry. “The point is that there is a way to save your loved ones!”
“Maybe there used to be, but not any more,” Anakin shrugged. “Like you said, this was a Sith thing and the Sith are all dead. Well, unless General Grievous is a Sith who knows how to heal people, but I doubt it given how much he got hurt, and I’m not sure Dooku knew it either… hey, if this story needs to be publicized more then maybe we could have them do a play of that instead?”
Palpatine blinked several times, as he tried to keep up with a Jedi with possible undiagnosed ADHD and found himself discovering a lack of talent for podracing.
“What?” he asked.
“You know, a play,” Anakin explained. “Dramatic betrayals, lost loved ones, it would probably do numbers. It’d be better than this, anyway.”
He waved his hand at the ongoing performance of Squid Lake.
“...what is wrong with Squid Lake?” Palpatine said, before reflecting that that had really been a stupid question for him to ask and that he should have asked a much better one.
“Well, uh,” Anakin began, looking a bit abashed. “Actually now I say it out loud this might be really culturally insensitive of me, but to me this play might as well be eighty minutes of people boasting about having enough water to swim in.”
“It’s a ballet,” Palpatine told him, now completely having lost control of the conversation.
“It’s just a less scary version of Sarlacc Pit,” Anakin went on. “Someone tried to drown me in a lake once, because they thought I couldn’t swim, but floating on sand is much harder, you barely have to do anything to escape a lake. You just float.”
Very belatedly, Anakin caught sight of Palpatine’s look of total befuddlement, and shrugged.
“Watto was a lot of things,” he said. “But he had culture.”
Palpatine’s hands twitched, as he very seriously considered the idea of abandoning literal centuries of Sith planning and decades of personal political advancement in favour of stabbing Anakin somewhere it would hurt.
It was extraordinarily tempting.
“...hold on,” Anakin said, slowly. “I guess… the thing I’d like most at the moment is for… and that means… this is literally one of those times when I could fall to the Dark Side because of it, like Darth Plagueis.”
He bestowed a grateful smile on Palpatine. “Thanks, Chancellor! I need to make a call, I guess the ballet won’t mind.”
Palpatine was so thrown by the swerve that he couldn’t think of a way to stop Anakin in the few seconds he had.
“Love?” Anakin said, into his commlink. “I… think we need to come clean, because otherwise I’ll fall to the Dark Side.”
Palpatine’s eye twitched.
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angelsdean · 22 hours
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All these thoughts also prompted me to think abt what John and Mary's fights were often about, especially the fight where John leaves and Dean then comforts Mary. And I think a big part of it was Mary keeping secrets and sneaking around with regard to hunting.
We know she was still hunting in 1980, when she saves Asa Fox. Dean would've been a year old and the hunt is not local, it's up in Canada. Mary says she's been tracking this werewolf for a long time and that they have history. I do think when she says "a long time" she means years and that she hasn't actively been tracking it but it's been something on the back-burner that she's kept an eye on all these years. But that still means she left for a number of days at the very least, and I wonder what she told John. What excuse did she come up with to justify suddenly taking off when they have a baby at home. And no, I don't think she needed to be there as "the mom" to take care of Dean or that she can't spend time away from the home or that fathers are incapable of taking care of their children or anything like that. But I think John would certainly wonder what's taking her away from them so suddenly. What could possibly be so important. And with a hunt like this, I don't think she could've exactly given him a set time-frame for her return.
Now, imagine that happening multiple times. Imagine that happening again when Sam is just a few months old. She says she has to go visit her uncle who's poorly (father of the Campbell cousins. The uncle that paid for her headstone when she died). And then she's gone for longer than she anticipated. And John is just suspicious. And when she comes back they argue about it. "I know you're lying! Just tell me the truth, Mary! What, are you seeing someone else?" And Mary holding firm to her lies because her family cannot know about the supernatural and hunting. Because she doesn't want her kids growing up like she did. Because John is her suburban fairytale. He can't know. And then John snaps. He's pissed. He thinks she's cheating while he's working to provide for the family AND watching the kids in her absence. So he flings a "Is Sam even mine?" at her in his rage and she slaps him and tells him "Don't you dare" and then John storms out in a huff but then calls later to talk about it more and Mary shuts him down. "No, John. … We’re not having this conversation again... Think about what? … You’ve two boys at home. …"
I can imagine a version of this phone call going something like this:
John calls. Maybe apologizes for what he said, but mostly just wants her to be honest with him.
John: Please, Mary, can we just talk about this.
Mary: No, John.
John: I just want you to tell me the truth! What are you hiding? What's going on that you can't tell me?
Mary: We're not having this conversation again.
John: Oh okay, 'we're not having this conversation again.' Well then can you blame me for where my mind is going? What would you think, huh?
Mary: Think about what?
John: You know how it looks, Mary. And I just, I can't keep doing this--
Mary: You have two boys at home. (and ohh the delicious irony of that in the context of her being the one leaving to continue hunting in secret)
John, probably, since the convo seems to continue: Oh that is rich coming from you right now, Mary.
Anyways, this is only one of many many scenarios I can imagine of their fights. And it's perhaps a little too sympathetic to John, but! I enjoy thinking of John complexly, especially considering how Young John is presented in SPN, and also John in the opening scene of the Pilot seems like the easy-going family man, who definitely had underlying issues prior to Mary's death (thank you SPNWIN for confirming that) but clearly those issues got worse after Mary's death, and for the most part he wasn't yet the guy we see him become after he is transformed by grief and anger. Also s12 Mary's rose-tinted recollections of John being such a good father, which starkly contrast to Dean's later memories of John, I think it's not a huge leap to say John pre-Mary's death was a good father, and I think seeing Mary leave them (likely repeatedly) under secretive circumstances for days at a time would have bothered John back then and been a continuous point of contention in their marriage.
And again, this is all simply one angle of interpretation, theorizing, and headcanoning and by no means the only possible scenario.
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compressingsins · 1 day
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|| Deceiving Intentions
Yandere Nanami x chubby animal hybrid f!reader
Warnings : Obssesion, partially forced relationships, slight manipulation, multiple orgasms, dacryphilia, aggressive Nanami, reader goes into her first heat, slight physical contact, overprotective Nanami, Nanami is a little mean for a while, overstimulation. This is a smutty fic, MDNI.
"I've loved you for so long, okay? When I had the luck of being awarded for you at that place, it felt as if I was saving you. And ever since, I've wanted you to love me just as much as I love you. Do not question my love, I will always love you. It wasn't just the sex talking, I'm in love with you."
Hi guys! Here's another post, and I really enjoyed how this one turned out. Hopefully you all enjoy it too, because it was very fun to write!
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Please do not copy or rewrite my works without my permission. 🫥
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Life felt almost too unreal. You lived in a world where your kind were treated like nothing, just like the historical books you would read. The things you could do in life were limited, and your kind was scared of this forsaken world. People bought your kind, sold your kind, traded your kind for better versions of you. If you were bought, you'd either be a full time house cleaner with no payment, pretty much a slave to the person who purchased you.
That's why you were thankful to have grown ups in this village. A sanctuary where your kind resides. Human hybrids in every different shapes and sizes, living life freely amongst each other. Here, nothing could harm you in any kind of way. Plus, no human dared to come from the big cities just to mess with you all. There were fully bred hybrids, which were hybrids with all the human stature but everything else was an animal, a creature of some kind.
It was normal to you because well, you are one of them. Except, you're the extremely rare kind. You're a dog hybrid, but you didn't have all the aspects. You only had a set of fluffy ears and a dog like tail that could easily be hidden. Which is why it was so easy for you to get in and out the city. You could wear pants to hide the fact that you have a tail, and a hat or hood to hide your prestige ears. You had ears a top your head, and the set of normal human ears on the sides of your head.
That's how you knew about the historical events of slavery. You're able to hide your animal features and go into library's to read books that recorded the past. Even in the books, your kind was around long ago and treated the exact same way. Not only that, but most slaves were your color as well, brown beautiful skin that glistened in the sunlight. You didn't know why humans hated your kind so much, but you weren't going to risk having the conversation.
Slavery to brown skin people was long gone so that's something you didn't have to worry about, but slavery to human hybrids was still very much alive. You would think being the year 2020 that all slavery was dead, but the government just can't help but be afraid of your kind from not only looks, but because they think life wouldn't be civilized with you all in it. They think you all couldn't hold up to their expectations, because you have animal in you.
They fear you all could go feral and use those instincts on humans and that may be true, but you know that instincts are in every breathing creature that walks this earth. So you didn't think that'd be a problem, but that's not for you to decide. Everything in your village, however, was perfect. You lived like anyone who was civilized would, having breakfast, sometimes lunch, and then dinner. You did everything like a human would do.
As far as you were concerned, your life was perfect. Your people were great at crafting, so all the buildings that you resided in were built with hardly any tools. You had brick walls, metal walls, living modernity and it was all because your people knew the way to do so. Your people even had paint, so the buildings and house were all different colors. Plus, you had clothing stores, but you all had no money. Your people hunt in exchange for clothes, furniture, utensils, and more.
And what made it more fun was that it was just activities that you all loved, hunting, fishing, and so much more. After all, you had animal in you, so hunting was just in your nature. You decided that you would go into the city today, Sendai City. Your tribe was very discreet about its location, so trying to find it was hard for most people. You always made sure to cover your tracks when you leave, so that's what you did.
It was early in the morning, maybe around eight o'clock in the morning you would say. So you had so much time to enjoy the day. You made sure to have on pants that held your tail down, and a hat a top your head to cover your ears. You were ready to go into the world of the humans, to see what new things they had to offer today.
...
...
...
September 12th, 2020 - 8:42 a.m.
It was the middle of autumn, here you were in the city now seeing normal people obliviously walking around you. They couldn't even tell that you were a human hybrid, but that wasn't for them to know. Everything was going great, the cool wind in the air accompanied by the beautiful sounds of birds chirping. You never knew that the world of humans could look so peaceful when they weren't worrying about your kind.
The only thing you really wanted to see is the new aquarium that you've heard about in the newspapers that you sometimes read, when you're visiting here.
There were so many things to see here, but you didn't want to stay too long because your tribe would be wondering about you all day long. So you just decided that you would ask someone for directions to the aquarium. There were lots of people, but you decided that you'd rather ask a woman. There was a woman with brown hair, next to a kid who had pink hair and also a guy with black spiky hair. They were arguing, but you decided that you would approach them carefully.
First you cleared your throat, "Um, excuse me? Hello?"
The woman with the brown hair turned to you, with a slightly irritated look on her face. "Yeah, what's up?"
"Do you know where the new aquarium is? I don't recall its name, but I just know it's an aquarium that was recently opened." She looked at you and nodded like a light clicked in her head. "Oh you do? Do you mind giving me directions there, if it's not a problem?"
"Nah, it's no problem. So first," She started as she stood close beside you, pointing straight ahead of you, "It's really not too fair, just a couple blocks down the street that way. And then you're gonna take a left."
You smiled and thanked her, "I appreciate your help—uhhhh?"
"Nobora. And that's Yuji and Megumi. We'd join ya, but we're on our way to see our sensei for training."
"Oh, it's fine I'm only gonna be there for about 20 minutes and that's it." You didn't have a lot of time so you just went ahead and started to be on your way, "Sorry to rush off, but I gotta go! Maybe I'll see you guys again!"
The woman formerly known as Nobora waved back at you, watching you jog to the aquarium you were previously talking about. It didn't take you long to get there, however, so here it was. You were standing in front of the aquarium, but you decided not to go in. Why, well there was a sign to the left of the entrance.
"Everyone should be able to enjoy the aquarium, right? That's why we have a window view of our aquatic creatures, come check them out for FREE!"
You were excited, running to the left of the aquarium to see this ginormous window displaying each and every animal in there. There were dolphins, seals, whales, crocodiles and more! You carried a journey with you everywhere, so you pulled it out and started writing about everything you saw. Every fish, amphibian, reptile and more. You've never been so excited in your life, smiling from ear to ear.
You even sketched how the animals looked that way when you get home, you can ask all your elders about them. You know they have stories so you couldn't wait to ask them about 'em. Closing your journal, you decided that it was time to head back home. You smiled at the animals once more before turning to leave. It was still the morning time so you weren't worried, you know you weren't gone that long. You had a peaceful walk back home, until you heard screaming in the distance.
You knew exactly where it was coming from, so you decided to run as fast as you could. "Shit, oh no!" You couldn't think of how this happened so quickly, you were only gone in the matter of thirty minutes. As you approached your village, you saw how there were masked men attacking your people, not killing them but injuring them. You knew it wouldn't be smart to try and fight people who were wielding swords. You sat in a bush behind a tree, shaking.
It hurt you to see your people getting slaughtered in broad daylight. You knew what this was though, another raid but you just couldn't tell by who. They weren't very apparent about who they were, since they were wearing all black outfits. You held your breath, hoping that they didn't get into the underground sanctuary that you guys previously made due to raids. It was underground in one of the houses, hidden very well. It was agreed that the wine and children were to go in there and the men stay out and defend their honor, if a raid happens.
You couldn't spot any women or children so you guess they were safe. You continued observing everything, watching your people fight their hardest but still falling. You could see that this was another "taken," that y'all called it. It was when your people would get taken back to the city in shackles, to get auctioned off to rich men and women. They took more hybrid men than women due to the nature of believing a man is superior to a woman.
Blood was no longer being shed, all you could hear was the people chattering and your people groaning from pain. You could hear them saying that the buildings were clear, and that there were fifteen men who were in shackles at the moment. That meant some of the men were down there protecting the women and children. You signed of slight relief, but still you dreaded when these raids to place. You were relieved until—
"Unless you want those ears to be cut clean off your head, you better not move, abomination." A sword was on your shoulder, threatening to slice you up. You gulped harshly, feeling a bead of sweat rolling down your temple. "Turn around slowly, or I'll kill you right here." You did just that, showing this person you weren't a threat. You could tell by the voice that it was a man. "Oh—what do we have here? You're one of those rare hybrids, I see. Shit." You saw how he rubbed his crotch, indicating something you didn't want to think about. "There's no one around. Wanna be a good girl and bend over for me? You're so chunky and plump. I wonder how well that ass will take me in doggy."
Your entire body shuddered from fear. He tugged on his trousers until he pulled them under his underwear, showing you how hard he was.
"Hey! Leave that damn hybrid alone, we're only doing this for a paycheck, not lawsuits. It would be rape, and that's not what the fuck we're here for you asshole." You were literally sighing of relief when this person came to save you, and you could tell it was a woman. She pushed him and made him stumble, "Get back to the group and gather up the hybrids. We're going back to the city to auction them off, understood?"
The man walked away grumbling under his breath, sounding like he was cursing her for not letting him act on what he was planning to do. She gave her hand to you, helping you stand and sheathing her sword. "Look, if it wasn't my job I would let you go. But I have a family, so you have to come with me, okay? Just cooperate and—everything will be fine I hope. Here, just put your hands behind your back..."
You weren't going to fight against her, so you just followed along. She shackled your arms together, before walking you towards the rest of the group. There was some kind of large vehicle parked a distance away from your village, enough to fit a lot of people inside it which you assumed your people was already in there. And you were right, the woman escorted you to the vehicle and pushed you gently inside, you just took a seat beside one of your people. They all looked at you in disbelief, knowing they couldn't believe you got caught. But no one dared to say anything.
And neither did you.
...
...
...
9:37 a.m. - Auction
You couldn't believe you were here, getting bidding on alongside your family. They were being bought pretty rapidly, and mostly by women. You were the last one, now, standing there listening to the auction man talk about you like a prize winning bull.
"Ah, yes, the rare hybrid. Look at her, isn't she beautiful?" He spoke about you like you weren't even there. You saw how all the men lit up like flames in a pit fire, betting high on you. "She's gorgeous. Men, she could clean your entire house, cook you dinner, hehe—if you tame her right!" They shared a laugh with the man, staring at you like vile beasts. "I guess we can start the bid at 10,000 dollars, yeah?" Everyone agreed, and you hated that. This was disgusting, it made you physically sick to your stomach but you held it in. "Come on, who wants her? She could even get your wick wet if your wife ain't cutting it, am I right fellas?!"
You wished you could fight, but there was nothing that you could physically do. Your arms were tied behind your back, so your only option was to stand there without saying a thing. Then the numbers started flying out of their mouths. There were— 20,000 , 30,000 , 40,000 , 50,000 , 60,000 , 70,000's and more! The last number was 100,000, which was just outrageous.
"100,000 going once, going twice, and so—"
"500,000 dollars."
Not only did your eyes go wide, everyone audibly gasped aloud and turned to see a tall man with blonde hair, shades on, and a stylish suit. He was staring you down, like he's been eyeing you for some time now. "Woah, that's the biggest bid we've EVER had! 500,000 going once, going twice, and sold to the tall blonde man!" Everyone clapped as he won, like he was winning a prized possession, but you however was just filled with defeat.
He walked towards you, completely towering over you which frightened you quite a bit. He stared down at you from above, before grabbing a hold of your bicep. Your entire world just felt like it came crashing down, all sounds and voices being almost non existent. All you could see was your feet walking until you reached another vehicle, this was really real. You never thought you would be in this situation, but you guessed it didn't feel real until it actually had happened to you. The man pushed you inside and closed the door after you. He then went to the other side and closed it behind him.
The sound of an engine is what made you look up. The ride was quiet, he didn't say anything and didn't acknowledge you at all. It's like you weren't even there. Out of no where, it began to rain, and that was the only sound that was heard on the inside and outside of the vehicle. You were still shackled, hands tied together in an uncomfortable way behind your back. You didn't know how long the ride was, only that it didn't take you long to get to the destination he had set for you two.
You saw a house that was in a secluded area. It was a pretty decent size, medium and cozy looking. He pulled his vehicle into a pathway that was made of what looked like to be concrete. You were familiar with a bit of human creations, so you knew that it was concrete. But that wasn't important, the man turned off his vehicle, and stepped outside of it. The rain had died down but was still very apparent. He walked over to your side and opened the door for you. He grabbed your arm gently and pulled you out, closing the door behind you and locking it. That's when he pulled you with him to walk up to his home, you were assuming it was his at least.
He let your arm go momentarily as you two stood before the door, digging in his pocket to pull something out. It looked like a set of keys that he fiddled with until he found the right one that was able to fit into the keyhole. He turned it and pushed the door open, pulling you inside then closing and locking the door behind you both. He let your arm go and walked away, only to turn on a light before he came back to you. He stood before you, observing everything about you with an unreadable look.
He had another key in his hand, "Hands." He said, watching as you slowly and hesitantly lifted them up. He grasped the shackles and put the key in, turning it which opened and dropped to the floor. Your hands were free, you were happy he released you but you were still afraid of him. "Nanami." He saw how your head tilted in curiosity, "My name. What's yours? You talk?"
You nodded and answered, "My name is ____."
"Hm." He grumbled, sounding like he was bitter for some reason. "Follow me." And you did just that. He was walking around, "This is my home." He told you, showing you around the place, showing you every room his house consists of. "This is your room. You live here now, with me. Your room has a restroom so if you need to use it, feel free." You hated the words, "You live here now," because you wanted to go to your home. His home was lovely, but you didn't feel comfortable here.
He saw how your dog ears drooped from sadness, but he didn't say anything. "Come on, let's go get you something to eat." You didn't muster a word, just followed him as he walked to what seemed to be his kitchen. "I will cook you something, take a seat." You did just that, sitting down and just staring down at the table before you. "How old are you?" He asked.
"22 in human years."
"Your kind uses dog and human years, too?" You just nodded, which he solely said, "Interesting." It was silent for a while, the only sound being from the equipment he was cooking with. You didn't know what he was making, but it smelt delicious. You wanted to ask him questions—so you did.
"Why did you buy me? And for so much money? Why do you humans do this to us? We should have equal rights just like you!"
He didn't seem phased by your outburst, he just kept cooking. But he cleared his throat first before coming to sit before you. He decided to take off his suit jacket, tie, and glasses. "I live in a home where I get lonely, no companionship from anyone. So before I die from the loneliness of depression, I was suggested something new. To buy a hybrid at an auction event."
"But why me specifically?!"
"Hm, that's quite easy. You're a rare hybrid. You have human in your dna, meaning that it'll feel normal living with you. It'll just be like I have a roommate. The walls of this home will be more live than before, and that's what I've been looking for." He was giving very stoic and unpleasant answers to you. "Secondly, I can't even tell you why humans do this to your kind. But nowadays, they're trying to make it mandatory that everyone has a hybrid to help around the house, become pretty much servants to a master."
It's crazy that everything just gets more and more worse for your people with each passing day. "So what, you bought me because it's the law? That you're supposed to have one of us?!"
He shrugged, "Maybe that, and because I have sympathy for your people." That took you a back, and he could physically see that. "I've come across hybrids before, never have I once felt threatened by one. But my voice alone won't change where the government stands with your race. And I'm not the only one who thinks that. There's a lot like me who wouldn't mind if you lived amongst us, but we have barely any say in the matter."
You stared bug eyed at him, listening to him speak about you in a way that wasn't bad which was a first. He stood up and went back to his cooking equipment.
"I have some students who want your race free so desperately but as I've stated before, our voices do not matter." Nanami continued cooking, neither of you speaking for the time being until he said something weird— "You're very beautiful. May I ask you how do your kind feel about a human mate?"
Was that what he wanted?
A hybrid companion?
Really..?
You were hesitant before speaking, "I—well honestly, I've never heard my people speak about that. I guess it's okay since some of us like myself have human in my dna. I'm guessing it comes with a great deal of trust."
"That's good to know."
That was all he said before going back to cooking. He was putting the food on plates, it looked like, and you couldn't help but feel your tail start wagging from how hungry you actually were. He heard it thudding as it swung back and forth against the chair you were sitting in.
"Hungry, I see. Here." He placed a lot full of food before you. You had an extravagant nose, so you could tell that it wasn't chicken, but duck with mashed potatoes, some kind of pasta, and a drink you've never seen before. He watched how you sniffed it like a dog would, placing his own plate in front of his spot so he could eat too. He handed you something, it was silver with an oval like end. "This is a spoon. You use it on your mashed potatoes and pasta. Like this."
He demonstrated, by grasping his own spoon and scooping up his food, placing it to his lips and eating it delicately. You looked down at your spoon and then your food, and tried to do the same thing but failed. You were holding it in an improper way, which made him cough up a small chuckle before standing. "First, you place it under your thumb and let it rest on top of your index finger. Then get a good grip on it so you're able to successfully eat your food without making it fall everywhere. Try it."
You did it and got the hang of it perfectly, wearing your food without your bare hands. Back in your village, that's how you ate, with your bare hands and no kind of utensils to assist you. The food was delicious, you had no shame to dig in once you got comfortable with eating it. He just sat back in his spot and began eating too, being very careful not to spill anything on himself and occasionally taking glances at you. He couldn't help it, you were godly.
So beautiful, so innocent. He knows that if you're part animal, that must meant you had all kinds of similarities to an animal. Like—heat. It intrigued him to know if you did or not, but he was certain you did. He wanted you from the time he saw you at the auction. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it wasn't, but your brown skin was so beautiful. Not only that, but your thick thighs were breathtakingly gorgeous. He saw how you looked when you stood up, and your stomach was so beautifully round that he wondered how it would feel for him to caress it while making beautiful love to you.
You were thick everywhere and he loved it. He just wondered if you were experienced in the areas of sex. Even so, he was already obsessed with you and didn't want anyone or anything coming near you. You were too perfect, too innocent for this world. He just met you but he felt as if you've been with him all of his life and now, he didn't want to let you be with anyone but him. "You know, ____, I have lots of questions for you but right now, I cannot stay very long. After we eat, you will head to your room. Then, I shall leave for the majority of the day but I will be back."
You heard him but you were still digging in on your food so that's what you were focused on. It wasn't long before you were done, and he finished his food right after you. He stood up and grabbed both plates, throwing the scraps in a bin and placing the plates into water on some kind of counter. There was a mechanism that leaked water once he pulled some kind of lever. He let the plates sit in the water before grabbing some kind of cloth and wetting it. He walked over to you and placed a hand softly on your head, lifting it back and wiping around your mouth, cleaning you up.
"Now come, you're going to your room." You couldn't believe how gentle he was, but you weren't complaining because it made you less afraid. He even held onto your hand and walked you down to your room. You both walked inside as he pointed towards the bed for you to sit which you did. He kneeled down beside you and picked something up off the floor, and showed it to you. "This is a collar. When I'm not here, you're not allowed to leave this room, understand?"
You just nodded at him which made him softly smile. He stood up and walked over to something that looked like it was storage of some sort. On top was some kind of device. "This here is a television. It's for entertainment purposes, therefore, I'm going to leave this on for you, every time I leave, okay? What would you like to watch?"
You didn't know, though. So you shrugged and asked him, "What kind of entertainment does this offer?"
"Lots of entertainment. There's these programs called tv channels and genres of entertainment. From romance, to comedy, to action, adventure, nature, and science fiction. Out of those, did any of them catch your attention?"
You thought for a minute before nodding, "I've always been interested in nature. Can—can you please put on a nature channel?" He nodded and did just that. The channel was literally called nature and it was documenting all kinds of animals.
"This will be on the entire time I'm gone, okay? I'll be back later." He walked over to the door and left, closing it gently and walking away. His footsteps became less and less heard until there was nothing but the television being heard. You didn't know why, but everything here felt so comfortable. It was warm in the room, your tail was wagging, and a small content smile was spread on your face. You didn't know if you liked being here or if it was just the little moments you just shared with Nanami.
The television show was talking about all kinds of animals, lions, tigers, giraffes, monkeys, so many. Since you were in the walls of your village all of your life, you didn't really get to explore the beauty's of nature until now. It enlightened excitement in you. You decided that you would give the bed a try, lifting the thick coverings and getting underneath them. It was weird because at home, your beds weren't like this. You had coverings, but the bed wasn't held up by a structure like this. It held your weight too, and that amazed you.
But what amazed you more was the television channel you were watching. "That's a big cat, wow!" You were ever so content, having a feeling of bliss from how nice this was. You wondered now. Did your family who were captured get to live like this? Or were the stories of them being servants to humans true? You guessed it could go either way, depending on if they feel the same way that Nanami does or not. You were, however, hoping that your family was safe though, especially the other women and children.
Your mind is flooded with so much. Too many things happened in such a short amount of time, so you were wondering what time it was. You didn't know why that was the only question you were wondering, but it was. It felt like the time was going by quickly rather than slowly, but you didn't know whether you should complain or not. This man took you in and fed you, gave you a bed to sleep in, so you were kind of happy for the time being.
This was either a good thing or a bad thing, but you knew it was smart to still be cautious of him once he returns home. You're not saying he's a bad man but with your history of humans, you just don't know if you could completely trust him.
Only time would tell, though. You just hoped he wouldn't change and become just as bad as the people he was speaking on.
November 15th, 2020 - 7:41 p.m.
It's your third month living with Nanami, and you could only think how much better things have gotten for you. He treated you like a princess, caring for you and spending nights with you when he was able to. You have noticed how he was trying to get closer to you, asking you questions like, "Do you see me as a potential mate?" or saying things like, "You're so beautiful, ____. I sometimes wonder how you don't have a mate." You honestly weren't interested, though.
And he knew that...
But it didn't stop him from trying. He knew the way he was treating you was just distracting you from the fact that he purchased you three months ago. He knew that with the right words and actions, you'd start to realize that this was better for you. He fed you manipulating words, saying how this is where you belong, safe and sound with him. He thinks you need him, that without him, you wouldn't be able to survive. Even though before him, you managed life without him oh so perfectly.
He knew so much about you, now too. He now knew that you had a heat cycle. That it was coming very soon. He didn't care what it took, but he was going to help you with it. He calculated it all but he knew that since you were part dog, that your heat starts around every 3-4 months. Either you were in it right now, or you're going to go into it pretty soon. That's why he's been keeping an eye on you, making sure you don't need him in such an intimate way.
All he knew was that he didn't have to wait long. Maybe not even another day or two, and that enlightened him. You were in your bedroom, sleeping soundlessly as he walked around your home, cleaning everything up. He was dressed for the night, wearing just a tank top and pajama pants, ready to turn in when he was done with everything. Every time he was home with you after dark, he left your door cracked so he could monitor you. And as he passed by your door, he could see you kicking in your sleep, whining like you were having a nightmare.
Slowly, Nanami approached your door, peeping inside to see how your skin glistened from how badly you were sweating. Nanami pulled the door open softly, careful not to make too much noise as he entered. He walked cautiously towards you, going to the left side of the bed where you were facing. He hated the distress over your expression, but you looked so breathtaking as your body shivered. He knew what was happening. It wasn't a nightmare nor a night sweat, your heat had started in your sleep.
"I'll be damned." He muttered under his breath. He could feel how his dick sprung to life from the sight. You looked so beautiful, your smooth brown skin glistening from the moonlit sky. "____. Are you awake?" By the way you softly snored, Nanami could tell that you were asleep still, but he just couldn't contain himself anymore. He slowly pressed one knee on your bed, trying to softly get on top of it. The movement from him caused you to stir, making you turn over onto your back, facing away from your previous direction.
He straddled your stomach, looking down on you in the most admirable way. Nanami leaned closely to your face, turning it to face him so he could softly caress your warm cheek. "So beautiful..." He whispered, just before he hesitantly leaned closer to your lips, kissing you gently and slowly. He was getting feral, feeling how his heavy dick weighed down and layed against your belly. He grounded his hips against yours, kissing you even deeper than before. His tongue worked its way with invading your delicious lips.
The urge to just fuck you was derailing his mind, his thoughts practically screaming at him to just rearrange your insides. But he's a gentleman, he didn't want to deflower you... he knew you were a virgin. He found that out with some—investigating he did while you were asleep. Nanami was losing his breath and he could tell by the way your face was turning red, that you were too. He pulled away, seeing how much of your shared saliva he got all over your mouth and his own. Licking his lips, Nanami held his body up above you, his hands firmly planted on both sides of your head.
You looked so sweet, so innocent, so venerable.
He just couldn't harm you.
He just decided that he would wake you up.
"____, darling. Please wake up." But you still didn't flinch, so he decided that he would nudge your shoulder. Pushing against it to wake you up. He smiled seeing your eyes flicker open, "____."
Confusion was what he expected, your eyes being wide open from not only seeing how close he was, but from feeling how close you were. "N—Nanami? What are you doing?" You could feel him pressing against your heated clitoris, throbbing harshly and hotly against you.
"I know you're in heat. I would love to help you with that, if you would allow me."
You didn't realize it straight away—but this is the first time you've ever been scared of Nanami. The reason being was that he was invading your VERY personal space, you being asleep and he was all on top of you. "Why didn't you just ask me about it? I can't—I just don't know what to think now."
"I know you're afraid, but I just couldn't help it. I didn't do more than this, if that's what you think, darling. I respect you too much to do that to you."
You were silent, your eyes looking away from him trying to distract yourself from the hard cock that was throbbing against your covered heated clitoris. You knew you were in heat, but you didn't want to tell him about it because you didn't know how he'd react. Yes, he has been asking you very intimate questions about your body, but you thought it was just for the fact that he was interested in your kind.
You felt a warm gentle hand grasp your face, turning your head to face him in an oh so soft way. You could see the adoration in his eyes, he didn't want to hurt you. He was in love with you, the way his pupils dilated from just looking at you and thinking about what you wanted. He wasn't acting on anything else until you said something. But since you weren't speaking, he spoke up first to grab your attention.
"____, I'm very sorry for barging into your personal space without your consent. I just couldn't stand to see my baby having a hard time, with no help." He adored you in every way, you could tell by the way he would slowly observe your entire face, slightly licking his lips as he wondered how he got so lucky. "I won't do anything you wouldn't want to do, okay? So if you want me to leave then I'll—"
He was preparing himself to get off of you, but you didn't let him, grabbing him by his forearms and shouting, "Wait, Nanami!" You didn't know what this sudden burst of want was, but you needed him there. It was more than likely because of your heat, you wanted to hump everything you could including his hard cock. "I—I want you to help me. This is my first heat and I just want you."
Nanami smiled softly before laying back on top of you, positioning his heavy cock to rest comfortably against your pulsing clitoris. He wasted no time in kissing you, swallowing all your small whimpers before he began to drag the underside of his dick against your sensitive pussy. He knew what he was doing and he knew what you wanted, moaning loudly in your mouth which made you begin to buck your hips with his.
You felt how his body tensed a little, which showed just how sensitive he was as well. His cock was pulsing every time your clit rubbed against it, the veins in his cock only stimulating him with more sensitivity. But you wanted more, you patted his chest a couple of times which made him pull away from your luscious lips, holding himself up to stare down at you which a visible tent of pink painting over his cheeks. "What's wrong, do you want me to stop?"
Shaking your head, you answered with a no. "Can I take lead? I want to just—ride you?"
Oh, you were so innocent. He saw how serious and desperate you were, so he pulled himself up. "Up." He commanded, which you instantly did. "Good girl." You moved out the way, watching as he layed on his back in your bed. You couldn't help it, you had to had been staring at the big tent in his pants for a while. It was huge, throbbing, and you could see a wet patch at the very tip of it. You guessed you turned him on more than you thought.
"First, we're going to partake in some foreplay. I want you to feel as good as possible, ____. Come on, baby." Nanami pulled his pajama pants down, kicking them completely off and being left in only his underwear and tank top. You could now see how hard he was, his red tip being visible through his thin boxers. The veins in his cock seemed to be pulsing the more he stared at you, beating at a steady rhythm almost entrancing you.
"Can I remove my underwear? That'll make it feel better right?"
"Of course. But I'm not removing mine, just yet. I want you to dry hump my cock, try to get you prepped for the real thing." He was ever so content, watching you remove your underwear and toss them amongst the floor. Nanami held his hand out for you to grab it which you did, helping you to guide your body on top of his, straddling his waist and lowering yourself onto him. "Good girl. Now, you can go fast, slow, soft, or hard. This is for you."
You were a little embarrassed, but your body craved this so damn badly. Your hips just started moving on their own, dragging against his thick covered cock that teased and stimulated him so much. You basked in the sensation, your body tensing from how hard his cock was. He was so thick too, your lips barely being able to spread across the entire thing. But it was great, though. You had your eyes closed, placing your hands against Nanami's chest to stabilize yourself and get a good balance on top of him.
Nanami placed his hands against your smooth brown thighs, sighing softly of pleasure from how you shifted your little hot bean against his tip. That part of you was extra sensitive and unbeknownst to you, Nanami's tip was overly sensitive. The way your heated pussy fucked against his cock was making him delirious, he has wanted this for so damn long that now it was extremely difficult for him to not cum so fast. He wanted you to enjoy yourself, and by the look on your face as he opened his eyes, YOU WERE enjoying yourself.
He didn't even recognize you with how slutty you looked. Your tongue sticking out and your hips moving harder against his dick, making him hold a hard grip against your thighs. He could feel your nails digging into his chest, his skin stinging but being tolerable and somehow adding to the pleasure that his dick was getting. He could see how your tail wagged back and forth the more you rocked against him, your warm pussy twitching as it was stimulated so much by his cock.
The way your moans was music to his ears made his body shiver, the sight of your plump body working so hard for an orgasm made his balls tighten. He knew that he was about to cum, but he was going to let you enjoy him as much as you needed to. You were completely out of it, letting one of your hands go up to your breast and holding it as you bounced against Nanami. He watched your chest bounce in a way that only made his balls throb sporadically before he felt the substance travel through his cock and out his tip, his body tensing as his muscles flexed from how hard he came.
You continued on, Nanami gritting his teeth and his eyes clenching shut from the overstimulation you drained from him. "Fuuuck—!" He groaned aloud, which made you snap out of it and realize what you were doing to him. You slowed down for a moment, watching as his body jerked from all your movements.
"N—Nanami? Am I hurting you?"
He took a moment to let the euphoric afterglow wash over him. He shook his head, "Not at all, ____. I'm just sensitive. You made me cum." He knew that you wouldn't know what you just did to him, which is why it only turned him on more. He loved when your innocent side came out. "I didn't make you cum, did I?" You shook your head, watching Nanami closely from what he was doing. He sat up with you still on top of him, just before he quickly grabbed you by the throat and slammed you against the bed, pinning you underneath him. "I guess we'll just have to change that, won't we?"
That shocked you, but you felt how your body desperately needed that somehow. He wasn't restricting your airflow, but it was enough to have you gulping down air every now and then. His hand was so large, almost wrapping around your throat. You felt so different, not quite like yourself, but just a horny hot mess that needed him wherever he was supposed to bed. "Guess I gotta help my baby out then. Don't worry, ____. I'll make you cum as many times as you want." Your body flinched as his free hand went to your pussy, his thumb fiddling with your throbbing bean.
"Ohhhhh—I guess I almost made you cum, huh, ____? You were grabbing your own tits, whining like a bitch." You shuddered the more he caressed your drenched pussy, and you could feel your liquids running down the crevice of your ass the more he played with you. "You're gonna take my dick. In any fucking way I want you to." You couldn't see it, but you heard how he pulled his underwear down, the soft thud of it hitting the floor. He didn't even bother taking his shirt off the normal way, instead he stopped playing with your pussy to rip his shirt off, the noise reaching your ears and making you jump.
He was completely naked above you, "If you're not ready, that's not my problem now is it?" He was up close on your face, whispering as he placed gentle kisses all over you. You felt how his tip was knocking on your door, trying to enter and making you more needy. He saw how your body tried to get him to enter you already, but Nanami loved to tease you. Even with this position, he never took his hand off your throat, "I love you. You know that right? You're my baby..." He talked you through the fact that he was pushing his dick into you, slowly but surely. Everything was so overwhelming that your mind didn't register him telling you that he loves you.
Even if he said that you not being prepped wasn't his problem, but he never would hurt you on purpose. Not unless you wanted him to. And judging by how hard you got turned on from him slamming you against the bed, your body wanted him to do whatever he wanted to you. Nanami removed his hands from around your throat, placing his head against your shoulder to pepper soft kisses on you. Your body didn't sense any pain, only being taking on a ride of pleasure the more he pressed into you. "You feel that? I'm almost in, shit—!" His breath hitched, feeling how tight you were.
There was a soft spongy spot that he was pressing against, that he softly thrusted into to figure out what it was. "Ahhhhh—! Nanami!" He knew what it was now, and he knew what he just made you do. The way you yelled his named and moaned out like a loud cry told him that he hit that secret g-spot, and by the way your body was jerking he could tell that those two thrusts made you orgasm.
He had to sit up and look at your face, hearing the mantras of moans and yells of his name the more he pressed against it. He only pulled out slightly so he could rapidly fuck against your g-spot. He knew you were in heat but to see your eyes beading with tears the more he fucked into you let him know that he was giving you the best moment of your life. He stopped momentarily, to sit up on his knees so he could stare down at you. Nanami grabbed your legs and pressed them against his chest, "That felt good, didn't it? I'm gonna make you do it again."
An experimental thrust from Nanami had your body twisting underneath him, "Fuuuck! It—it feels so good!" You didn't recognize yourself at all, but your body wanted more. You removed your legs from his chest and wrapped them around his waist, curling against him and making him lose his balance a little. You bounced against him as he leaned against the balls of his feet, before he pushed himself up and held you up against him. You fucked yourself desperately against his thick cock, but Nanami wasn't going to allow that.
With a harsh smack to your ass, it made you completely stop but moan in the process. He lifted you up in the air as he stood up on his feet, holding you still against him. He walked you both over to a wall, pressing your back against the cold surface. "Didn't I tell you that no matter what, you're gonna take my cock in the way I WANT YOU TO?!" He wasn't upset, but he knew the aggression made your body go insane. He hooked your legs around his arms and pulled you off the wall. "Now I'm not stopping no matter how hard and how many times you cum."
"Nanami, I—ahhhhhh!"
He didn't let you get a word in as he bounced you on his cock in the air, somehow your pussy feeling the pleasure ten folds stronger than before in this position. His dick was angling at your g-spot and curving to focus solely on that. "Shut the fuck up and take my dick." Your pussy twitched, and your body shivered the harder he pounded into you. "I bet you love being held like this? Fucked standing up and you can't move. Fuck you're so tight—!"
The way his cock targeted your spot repeatedly felt like your body was on fire, the tears in your eyes streaming down your cheeks and dripping down on your tits, falling between the crevices. "Oh fuck, you feel so good, ____." Nanami smacked your ass as he pounded into, before taking a hand full of your ass and gripping it tightly, using it as leverage to pull you harshly into his hard pounding cock.
You already felt another orgasm creeping up on you. You let your hands rest on Nanami's back, your nails digging into his skin making his back muscles flex from the sting. "Cumming... cu-cumming... CUMMING!!!"
That made Nanami press your back harshly against the wall, his head against your shoulder before he began pounding harder into you. "Fuck, cum around my cock, baby." Your head slammed against the wall the harder he fucked into you, his thrusts being so strong that your legs shook from the way he connected his cock to your spot. "Come on, ____. Cum, I know you're right there."
And damnit you were, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, "Ahhhhhhhh—!" You were whaling loudly and dramatically, feeling like your entire pussy was being tickled to a sensation that shouldn't have been possible. And God did he enjoy everything he was doing to your soft body. He wrapped his arms around you tightly so you wouldn't try and push him away or escape him, which you were trying to. The overstimulation was too much for you, but he wasn't going to stop until you were completely satisfied.
He felt how your juices seeped out around his cock, only to hear as it dripped down against the floor and splashed the more he fucked you. "You're taking my dick so well, aren't you? You love this, don't you?" He continued to overstimulate you, making the tears in your eyes more evident as you were slightly sobbing now, gasping as he fucked into you so deeply and harshly. Your eyes were blurred from the tears, your body shaking so badly from the sensations of his dick repeatedly bashing into you oh so deeply and deliciously.
The way your body was shaking so violently made Nanami accidentally drop you. You fell onto your side, shivering against the floor not even noticing Nanami standing over you. You were out of it, until Nanami grabbed you by your hair and held you up on your hands and knees against the floor. He got down on one knee behind you, not wasting any time to slam his dick back inside of you. "We're not done until you make me cum inside this fat pussy of yours."
Nanami gently slammed your head against the floor, his fingers tangled in your hair before pulling you back up and thrusting harshly into you. He held you by your hair, using it as leverage to pull your back against his hips. He looked down and watched how his dick was repeatedly sheathed inside your pussy, his free hand couldn't help but swat harsh slaps at your jiggling ass. The way your tail wagged from made him sigh in awe. "Fuck, look at that." Your ass moved like water against his cock, his grip in your hair making your body arch from the position.
He was about to cum, and he wasn't planning on pulling out. You deserved the warmth of his cum inside your beautiful body. This feeling was the best either of you have ever experienced, your legs becoming wobbly before you toppled over and layed limped against the floor. "That won't stop me, ___. I'm about to cum." Nanami placed his hand against the side of your face, holding you against the floor as he continued his sloppy thrust. "Oh fuck—!" His eyes were closed as his teeth clenched.
Your face was very red with your mouth open, your tongue hanging out dripping saliva. Your orgasm was right there and so was Nanami's. Your body trembled the more he pounded into you, and it only took one perfect thrust for his thick tip head to rub against your spot to have you clawing at the floor. You came with a cry, only for Nanami to follow shortly and press your face against the floor firmly, squishing your cheek against the board.
He practically growled as thick spurts of cum shot repeatedly against your cervix, making you shiver from the warmth it gave. His hips didn't want to stop, until the sensitivity became too overwhelming for him to continue anymore. He never came so hard in his life, but he was happy that he was the one you got to experience this with. He knew your heat wasn't over, not until three to four weeks. Nanami pulled his hand off of your face, sitting up and stretching his muscles out.
He didn't want to pull his cock out at all, if anything he wanted to fuck you some more but he didn't. He knew you needed rest after the countless amount of orgasms. Nanami leaned down and pressed kisses to the side of your fucked out face, his cock sliding in as he did so, making you whimper so pathetically. "Get as much rest as you can. Because when you're ready, I'm gonna fuck you again."
...
...
...
The next morning, 9:29 a.m.
Your eyes batted repeatedly, opening to the sound of a voice telling you good morning. You knew who it was, Nanami. "Good morning..." You groggily replied, your eyes opening completely to see Nanami walking towards you with a hot cup of coffee.
"How'd you sleep, ____?" Nanami had a smile across his face, handing you the cup of coffee which you took and drunk quickly. Your throat needed some soothing, and that coffee hit the spot. But it quickly had you shooting up to run to the bathroom. But, you didn't run, more like fell straight to the ground as soon as you got up. "Easy there, ____." He knew why you fell to the ground... maybe he was too rough last night, but he enjoyed watching you struggle to walk on your own.
He didn't hesitate on picking you up, walking you towards your bathroom and sitting you upon the toilet. Instantly, you relieved yourself from all the pent up liquid inside your body. Nanami just leaned against the sink, not leaving your side for a moment. He was curious, though. Did you remember anything that happened last night? Because you weren't acting like you did, and that made him feel some kind of way.
"____. Did you sleep okay?"
You looked at him, smiling softly. "Probably the best night sleep I've had in a while. I didn't expect my legs to be this sore in the morning, though."
"Do you know why that is?" He asked you acting all cluelessly.
After you used the toilet, you stood up and flushed it, watching Nanami step aside to let you wash your hands. You saw him staring at you in the mirror, so you dried your hands, turned the water off and turned towards him. "Come on, Nanami. Don't act like you don't know what happened last night."
He smiled at you, "I was just making sure you knew. I didn't want you thinking I did anything wrong."
"No, you didn't so don't worry. But do you remember what you said to me? That very romantic thing? I mean—well I saw it as romantic." Nanami shook his head, trying to remember but all he was thinking about was the way you screamed for him and came over and over again. "You told me you loved me, Nanami. I don't know why but... I feel the same way, but I just don't know if you were serious. You know, because of the heat of the moment."
His eyes went wide, upset that you thought he only said that because you were having sex. "____, listen to me." Nanami grabbed your face softly and lifted your chin up to look at him, "I've loved you for so long, okay? When I had the luck of being awarded for you at that place, it felt as if I was saving you. And ever since, I've wanted you to love me just as much as I love you. Do not question my love, I will always love you. It wasn't just the sex talking, I'm in love with you."
Your mouth formed a smile, taking in what he said before you returned the word, "I love you too, Nanami. And I wanna give this... give us a try." Nanami couldn't be more happier. He smiled gleefully as he pulled you into a heartfelt kiss, being slow, gentle, and so loving that your heart just melted.
You never knew that you'd think this, nor say it. But you felt like this is where you belong. Your family back home was very special to you, but you've never received love from a mate. And in all honesty if you could go back in time, you would slap your past self and tell her that this is where she belongs.
Home is indeed a person, and that home of yours being Kento Nanami.
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This work was originally written by @compressingsins, if you see anything similar, please report it to me. 🫶🏾
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dyns33 · 2 days
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Only wastelands part 2
Here's part 2 of my Cooper Howard x Reader ! I think it will be a story in 4 parts at the end, but I'm not sure yet.
Tags : @one-of-thewalkingdead @coolrobloxkid28 @thebumbqueen @rachmari @ilyvia @justme12200 @honeybunhottie @savanahc @gobbodoggo @bisasterbisexual @killingboredom @bonafideyapper @i-simp-for-mha-men @pixelatedprofilepic @ultimatreality @chattersstuff @harmfulb1tch @hellolettuce444 @miketastic25
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If Y/N had to pay Cooper one compliment, it was that he had been a very good teacher.
Months passed, years, and she survived the apocalypse perfectly on her own.
To avoid trouble, she hid her pitboy and her gender under a large coat and a Ranger mask. Some people made fun of her, thinking she was doing this to protect herself from radiation. Everyone knew that West Tek's hardware, or any of Vault's partners, was crap.
Y/N knew it, and that was why she always had Radaway on her. Not at all in case she saw Cooper again and he needed some.
Three years without any news, doing everything to avoid attracting attention, and she hardly thought about him at all.
If she sometimes looked at the photo of him before his turning, with little Janey, it was only to remember that she should trust no one in this rotten world. Never again, she repeated to herself.
It was with this spirit that she almost killed Lucy when the young woman fell on her. Literally.
Y/N was standing in a crater, calm, silent, holding her sniper tightly, ready to shoot her future dinner, when the little vaultie had jumped to escape a yao guai.
Her instinct not being often wrong, she knew that it was more urgent to kill the bear than the imbecile who had thought that surprising a shooter was less dangerous than confronting a beast.
Even though she had a gun, was covered in blood, and one of her fingers was a different color, little Vault dweler looked harmless with her big, naive doe eyes.
It was obvious that she had been outside for a short time. A true miracle that she is still alive.
"Thank you, thank you very much !" she repeated with a huge smile, as if Y/N wasn't pointing her sniper at her. "You don't know the week I just had ! My father was kidnapped, I wanted to save him, but I discovered that he was a murderer who had bombed a city, and all the people I met tried to kill me, and…"
"Hey. I don't remember asking you to tell me about your life, vaultie."
"Oh, sorry ! It's just that I got lost. I was with someone heading to a place called New Vegas, but a big monster pulled him into a hole, then this thing attacked me. You seem nice, and I could use some help…"
"No."
“Wait. But wait !” the girl begged, following her as she went to carve the yao guai. Not the best meat, but she had just wasted five bullets for that, and the noise had either scared away the easy preys or attracted the attention of the dangerous ones.
Y/N vacillated between ignoring Lucy and threatening her, asking her to leave, but after exchanging names, the vaultie seemed to have decided that they were now best friends and should stay together.
No doubt taking her savior's silence as an invitation, she continued to talk about what had happened to her, between her meeting with a man named Maximus, and the inhumane treatment she had suffered at the hands of a mercenary.
Completely incoherent, she ended her story by explaining that she had abandoned her potential boyfriend to go on an adventure next to the guy who tortured her, with the aim of finding her dad and discovering who had destroyed the entire planet.
It was quite funny, because Lucy reminded her a bit of herself before. Y/N wondered if Cooper had seen her like that when they met, a lost and stupid thing.
At the same time, the girl's reasons for living were the same as the Ghoul. Find a family member and take revenge on Vault. Amusing. Maybe they would be very happy together.
If we forgot the fact that Lucy thought that no one should be killed, that everyone was nice, and mutual help was a fundamental notion, to start again. Ugh.
"So, some free advice, if you want to avoid having your tongue cut out, remember that it is not a good idea for a little vaultie who grew up in a palace to give big moral lessons to people who have been doing what they can to avoid dying for years, sometimes centuries."
"Why do you call me that ? You come from a vault too, right ? My pitboy picked up yours."
"Hang on. I am a victim of the cruelty of politicians and businessmen, betrayed by my own country and only alive by luck, or bad luck. You are a little vaultie. Now get away before I strangle you."
Lucy continued to follow her. And Y/N could have killed her, she really could have. This wasn't her first rodeo. She had killed a lot of people for less than that. But she didn't really want to.
Maybe she had been alone for too long. Maybe she felt sorry for this girl, like Cooper had felt sorry for her.
A deal was found. If Lucy could keep her mouth shut, then Y/N would help her find her friends so she could resume her main quest. Their paths would then part ways, and everyone would be happy.
Especially Y/N.
Because if she often talked about her dear Max, the little vaultie didn't seem so eager to find her survival partner. This was understandable, since he had tried to kill her several times, shooting her, cutting off her finger, using her as bait, and selling her.
Compared to this guy, Y/N was a saint, an angel from heaven, the perfect friend. When she offered the girl a bottle of non-irradiated water, she seemed about to ask her to marry her.
“You must be the only person in all the wastelands with good water !”
"It doesn't come cheap. But… I made a promise."
“My lovely traveling companion forced me to drink disgusting water and eat a man.”
"Charming."
Even though she seemed sweet and pure, Y/N continued to be wary of Lucy, sleeping with only one eye open and waiting for the moment when she would try to stab her in the back. First rule, don't trust anyone.
It had happened before. Never again.
Even after three years, the wound was still raw.
It was only when she saw the fear and regret in Lucy's eyes that Y/N restrained her action, yet ready to plant her blade the moment she had shown her the photo, taken out of her bag, asking her if it was her family.
Cooper hadn't been her family. He had been an asshole, who had manipulated her, who had made her believe that he loved her, and that she could love him, before abandoning her like a dog on the side of the road.
"Be careful with this Maximus. Men never change. He will take what he wants from you, and you will be hurt."
“He’s not like that.”
"I didn't think Coop was like that !" she shouted, really getting angry for the first time at Lucy, who jumped. "Yes, I loved him ! I trusted him ! It was stupid of me and I will never make that mistake again ! I hope he died in a hole, alone and in pain !"
"… Can I throw the photo away then ?"
“Give that back !” Y/N said quickly, snatching the only souvenir he had left from her hands and putting it safely in her pocket.
Lucy's sad smile indicated that she wouldn't have destroyed the photo. How sorry she was, for having gone through her things, and for having caused her pain by forcing her to talk about this man who had been so important. Also that she was happy, to see that despite her speeches, Y/N still cared for someone, even if she didn't want to.
She had never told anyone about it. It had been a long time since she had said his name, except when she woke up from a nightmare, in the middle of nowhere, calling for him like a child.
Lucy continued to smile, because for her, there must be another explanation for her precious Coop's behavior. She continued to call him Coop, even after Y/N threatened to make her eat her rotten finger.
"I know you don't like talking about him…"
“If you know that, shut up.” Y/N muttered as she continued walking towards New Vegas, trying to ignore the stream of words from the stupid vaultie, bingeing on romance novels and patriotic films.
"From the few things you agreed to share, Coop cared about you. He protected you, he taught you to defend yourself, he gave you a picture of his daughter. For me, this are proofs of love. Actions speak louder than words."
“He promised to come get me and I’m still waiting.”
"Wrong ! You left, you know how to hide perfectly, and you do everything to avoid him ! So, maybe he's been chasing you all this time and you don't know."
"What I do know is that the main clause of our deal was that you would stop talking so much, especially if it was to give such ridiculous and inappropriate advices."
They finally arrived at their destination after several weeks of walking. No sign of Lucy's friend on the way though. Perhaps he had died, or had not continued on his own.
It was clear that he wanted to use the daughter of vault 33 overseer to achieve his ends, and now that he had lost her, there was no point.
The city amazed the girl. It was the first real city she discovered, instead of those piles of ruins full of dust and vermin that were found in the four corners of the wastelands.
Her enthusiasm almost made Y/N laugh. A bit like how she had often made Cooper laugh without meaning to.
Damn, she needed to stop thinking about that bastard so often. Her mother was always saying that we manifest things through emotions and thoughts.
Her poor mother, long dead, but who had always been right.
As soon as her eyes landed on him, Y/N was crouched behind a wooden crate, watching Cooper Howard, fucking Cooper Howard, sitting near the casino, seemingly waiting for someone.
Seeing her, Lucy began to ask her what she was doing, her gaze following hers, and then the reaction was strange. Everything about this girl was strange anyway.
She started to smile.
Worse, she waved an arm at the Ghoul in greeting, opening her mouth to get his attention as she realized it wasn't enough, his cowboy hat falling over his face.
Y/N quickly grabbed her arm to pull her towards her, asking her what she was playing.
"It's the mean bounty hunter who accompanies me !" she replied happily, as if everything was normal.
For a moment, Y/N wondered if Lucy was making fun of her. If from the start, this was just a horrible joke against her, the continuation of a torture started in this seedy bar.
Then she told herself that if someone made fun of her, it was just fate.
Because she remembered that she had only described Cooper, continuing not to have any particular interest in his condition as a ghoul, and with her goodness as a jug, Lucy had not wanted to reduce him to his appearance either.
The difference was that he didn't give his name to his new pet.
“I knew you were an idiot, but not that much.”
"What ? Why ?" Lucy wondered, slightly offended and trying to free herself.
"You can't trust him. You already know that, why do you want to go back with him ? Look… I can help you find your father, okay ? Find Max. Whatever you want, but let's avoid this bastard and let's leave quickly."
"Golden rule. We said we would wait near the casino, he's there, I'm not leaving him."
With this serious look, the vault dweler would almost have looked frightening. Almost. It was mainly because it was obvious that it was impossible to reason with her that Y/N let her go, not waiting for her tirade about great friendship and the need to stay together to run as far as possible.
If Cooper noticed them, she didn't give him time to really see her, nor to catch up with her or shoot her.
Y/N didn’t turn around to check. Not because she was afraid of him chasing her. But because she was afraid that not only would he not pursue her, but she would also see him with Lucy.
Because even though he had tortured her, insulted her, threatened her… He was in front of the fucking casino waiting for this girl. And it really hurt.
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slackerlifewhere · 1 day
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The subtlety of Cale Henituse
SPOILERS for those who haven't finished the first part of the novel. If you don't like spoilers, please don't continue. Thanks!
- This is kind of a review about the novel but it's basically my analysis of Cale/KRS.
___
For someone who has trust issues with people, I first had an initial distrust with Cale Henituse/Kim Rok Soo as a reader.
I think it's because of how he was first introduced.
As a first-time reader of the novel back then, Cale/KRS was introduced as a very indifferent person. He was calm at the face of a sudden transmigration and acted like nothing could surprise him (aside from Ron and Choi Han). And of course, like anyone who was fooled, I also thought that he was selfish. He's not the trash that he thinks he is but he's selfish and I didn't place my full trust in him because I still didn't know him yet. And I like it that way. The author kept me on my toes and didn't force fed me a truckload of information about Kim Rok Soo.
Like I said in my previous post, he didn't actually give us his whole introduction. He left a few crumbs here and there that told us he didn't have a great childhood but it wasn't enough for me to build an image of him in my head. There were still some blanks and question marks about Kim Rok Soo.
Sure, there were moments when he gave a bigger tip to someone without blinking an eye and acting all smug about it but I really just thought that he was happy because he's finally rich. Or when he was being so polite and gentlemanly in front of an old man that Venion was disgusted with and then later on went back to being indifferent and I thought it was just him being extra petty and angry (which he was) at Venion for being an asshole. He's very quick to change from smug to indifference and it made me switch back and forth on how I see him as a person.
Yeah, you need to read between the lines when reading this novel.
[side note: Actually, If I remember correctly, I thought that I wouldn't like his character because I find it weird when MCs in KR manhwa and novels easily shrug off the isekai bullshit they're in. The influence of KR manhwa on me affected my opinion about him and it shows.]
So when he first met the kittens and Choi Han, I was reading it with the feeling of "Run away, guys! Run while you still can!" lingering at the back of my mind. He was nice to them, as much as he could with random strangers he just met, but he's very distant with them.
Another thing about him that makes it harder to understand him is because he's always distant with people. He relies on them and helps them but he's always at arms-length when dealing with them. This, if you didn't think of or was reminded of his thoughts about his abuse and pity, simply makes him look indifferent.
Before I continue, I don't like tsundere characters. I absolutely find them cringe and sometimes, I just wanna bash my head when they blush at the bs they're spouting at someone they like.
Because that's the thing with Cale. He is a tsundere. He says one thing and does the opposite. And he's so in denial about it which makes it more hilarious and sad.
He's subtle about it at first. He didn't even give me the vibe that he's more complex than what he shows because he's so quick to disprove my sudden epiphany that there's something deeper than what he's showing. He's so good at hiding his emotions EVEN WHEN I'M READING HIS POV.
This bastard is so in denial about himself that he fooled me so bad! I think I only realized it when he saved Raon but even then, there were still some doubts about his character. I liked his words to Raon and thought about how kind he is for giving the dragon the freedom of choice but because he later thinks of making Raon do things for him, it shook my trust in him just a little bit. Just a little, I promise.
...Maybe I just have major trust issues.
Taylor Stan
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The weirdest thing to me that actually snapped me from my doubts that he's actually a kind person is oddly enough, because of Taylor Stan.
Remember when Taylor and Cage suddenly arrived at the area they were camping in and he finally talked to Taylor face to face? Yeah, he was indifferent there but it's when his tsundere traits actually exploded at my face.
He, while trying to hide from everyone, told them to give Taylor and Cage the best care and protection as if it's the most normal thing in the world.
Mind you, they don't even actually know him aside from OG Cale's reputation as trash. And he also technically isn't supposed to know them because, in the duo's POV, this is their first time meeting him so he didn't have to help or care for them.
He basically acted as if what he was doing was bad in their eyes but in reality, it's not???
He's just helping them and he's in denial about it? He's genuinely being a kind person and he thinks he's trash?
He later gives them money (and acts cool about it) and helps with smuggling (lmao) them to the Roan Kingdom so they can arrive there safely and he thinks he's trash???
He gave this man hope to finally heal himself and fight against his brother and he thinks he's trash?????
Seriously?
Self-hatred
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I don't know if this is ever talked about but Cale is hiding a huge self-hatred about himself.
It's why whenever he calls himself trash, I shake my head because it's amusing but I also want to cry because, as I go further into the novel, he fully believes that he's actually trash.
At first, when he called himself trash, I thought it was because his soul is in OG Cale's body and thus, he inherited the title and uses it to cause chaos. It's a part of the reason why but, if I think about it, he doesn't have to call himself that??? He can still cause chaos without using that title.
It's why I think he fully believes it. That he's trash.
I didn't understand back then and thought it was just him loving the title and the chaos that comes along with it.
Him and his smirks or "selfish" ideals made it seem like he's fully embraced the title and liked it that way.
And the way the author hides a deeper meaning behind his words and actions is by making it feel humorous or comical. The author makes it feel extra.
We laugh and find it amusing because it's chaotic. The secrets behind those wild ideas and explosive destruction are brilliant and subtle.
It's why I fully believed back then, that it's a simple story about a man who just wants to cause mischief in a strange world.
And then...his past as Kim Rok Soo is finally revealed by the author.
And it suddenly turns all this humor about himself into a freaking tragedy.
Kim Rok Soo is a tragic character. He's a person who has lost far too much and can only react in indifference even when he's hurting. He's cold in another person's perspective because he doesn't cry when in front of those he lost.
He hates himself for something he couldn't control. He hates himself for being weak. He hates himself for a lot of things. And he hates the scars Kim Rok Soo has because they're the reminder of all his failures and all his sacrifices that only ended up with making him alone. Like he will always be alone. (Which makes his distant personality in the beginning make sense too wtf)
So he takes in their words of him being cruel enough not to cry in a funeral of his friends and fully believes it.
He believes, as Kim Rok Soo and Cale Henituse, that he's trash.
And it absolutely made me cry like a kid when he, as he woke up surrounded by those he befriended and could call family, finally cries with a smile.
This is the first time they and us readers see him cry and smile and it's just heartbreaking.
The whole lead up to this reveal was me seeing him as a tsundere and a freaking crazy bastard that utters "slacker life" like it's comic relief.
It's completely unexpected and I love it.
Because him crying and smiling for the first time is him finally shedding his shields and walls from these people who see him as a kind person.
Cale Henituse, for all his masks and secrets, is just a broken but endlessly kind person.
It's why those who meet him, trust him. His actions are a big reason why they trust him but his words, when it feels hopeless, are eye-opening and full of wisdom of a 36 year old man. He's straightforward in front of those he trusts and tells them something that flips over everything they think about the current situation. And he says it with the experience of Kim Rok Soo.
I believe the only times he lies to them is when he was given the thing that he was gonna use to stab himself and also when he hides his identity as Kim Rok Soo. There's actually a hint of his guilt sometimes...or maybe I'm just thinking too much about it.
Anyways, that's all my thoughts for now.
This subtle bastard made me cry, damn it.
___
That one scene of him crying and smiling is etched in my mind and was reminded of it when I recently saw a fanart. So I decided to write about my feelings about his character and personality.
It's not a mindblowing post or anything new and it goes from humor to angst pretty fast but I think it's just like him. If you analyze his words in one way, it's just hilarious but if you analyze it in another way, it's sad.
I like how the author wrote him. He's a crazy bastard and a tsundere (the only tsundere I'll ever like) and I'm so glad I found this novel.
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cbrownjc · 2 days
Note
So it really seems like Armand is Alice - or Daniel's lost memories of Armand have been conflated with his memories of Alice, or something. I'd be really interested to know your thoughts on how much Louis knows? We see malicious triumph from him but (I think) not really an awareness that this specific memory has heavy shades of Armand in it, more like he was happy to weaponise any terrible memory of Daniel's that came to hand.
But how could Louis not know? If Armand and Daniel were together in the past I bet Louis knew about it and probably still does?
(Also your Tumblr is amazing and fascinating and ILU)
Hello! I'm glad you like my Tumblr and thank you for the amazingly kind words! *hugs* 💕
So, Armand & Daniel and Louis. Now, my gut feeling at the moment is that Louis knows a lot about what happened between Armand and Daniel. But possibly not everything.
Or, more directly, I do think it's possible that Louis doesn't fully know how serious it really got between Armand and Daniel; that Armand and Daniel actually truly, deeply, and sincerely fell in love with each other. I may be wrong about that (as I've only had a chance to watch the episode once so far), but there are some little things that are making me think that for now.
The main reason is that we now have an answer for why Louis has called Daniel "our boy" before. (Which he hasn't done this season yet, but I'm sure it's coming.) IMO the reason was indirectly revealed in the scene when Real Rashid brought out the pictures . . . and what Louis and Armand both said about who some of the pictures were of: which is that they were pictures of young human men that were kept with Louis and Armand -- in their company -- for a period of time.
These two -- Louis and Armand -- would basically add a third into their relationship at one time or another. And that they did so a LOT more than once. And that it was something that was always initiated by Louis -- probably because it was something that was Louis' idea to do in the first place, back when they first did so with whomever the first young man they pulled in was.
We don't know how long these young men were kept with them, but I don't think it's wrong to guess that some were kept for rather long periods. It was Louis who would draw these young men into them . . . then some would be drained dry at some point if they weren't just let go.
And Daniel was basically set to be the next in the long line of young men that Louis and Armand would do this with. That is what was initially happening that night at Polynesian Mary's. With Louis, once again, being the one to draw the young man -- in this case, Daniel -- in.
But what made everything different this time -- and what made Daniel different from all the young men that had come before him wrt this -- was that first interview. And I think Assad hinted in an interview during the press tour as to why Armand steps in and saves Daniel's life when Louis attacks Daniel. And that reason is that during that interview, Daniel is able to understand and connect with Louis in a way that Armand hasn't been able to during all their years together. And so becomes fascinated by Daniel because of that.
And I don't think I'm guessing that Armand never became fascinated in such a way with any of the other young men that Louis lured into a triad with them. (Or, if Armand ever did, it was a very fleeting thing).
So, I think in this instance, the third that was lured in by Louis actually ended up fully capturing Armand's attention and, eventually, his heart. And while, as with all the other young men they had done this with before, Daniel was very much "our boy" for both him and Armand in Louis' eyes . . . there were deeper emotions that were growing between Armand and Daniel during that time that Louis just didn't really see -- or that maybe Armand kept Louis from seeing.
Because remember, Armand is much more skilled at the Mind Gift than Louis is. And Louis, very possibly, might have still been under the veil that -- in the books -- his mind gets clouded over by Armand after they first leave Paris.
So there are many reasons Louis may not have fully noticed everything that was happening between Armand and Daniel during however long Daniel was with them. (And, IMO, it is very much looking like it was at least 12 years, which was the length of the whole Devil's Minion saga -- before Daniel was finally turned -- in the book QotD).
Louis knows some things I feel sure of. Like, Louis knows Armand and Daniel had sex because . . . yeah. Armand and Louis weren't just pulling in young human men to be a third with them to play cards or something. 😏 But I'm not sure that Louis knows about the full emotional depth (and heartbreak) of everything that went down between Armand and Daniel.
So yeah, Louis knows about Armand & Daniel -- because he was the one to draw Daniel in to be a third with him and Armand in the first place. But I don't think Louis knows just how deeply and emotionally serious it really got between them. And maybe it's mostly because Armand just kept that part of it from Louis.
As to the Alice = Armand thing and if Louis knows that. . . again I'm not sure. It is one reason I kind of still sort of lean toward the idea that Alice is a real person, but many things about her have been merged with Armand in Daniel's mind. And Louis doesn't actually know which is which.
However . . . Louis could very well know how serious it got between Armand and Daniel, and that Alice isn't real and just really is Armand; and Louis just did what he did -- emotionally going in on Daniel like that -- because Louis really just wanted to hurt Daniel in that way because Daniel had hurt him in the same way just by asking about Lestat like that. Louis does have a very sadistic streak in him, I think that has been very well-established. And it would just be the simplest answer too for it all as well.
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homicidal-slvt · 3 days
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[Monsters Walk On Land]
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Shark Merman!Kyle Garrick x F!Reader
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Warnings: MDNI, Abusive Husband {Not Kyle}, Angst, Attempted Murder
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Summary: Thrown into the depths of the ocean you expect to die... Only the be rescued by the monster many warn about.
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Your body sinks into the darkness, no attempt to open your eyes or fight back against the pull of the deep, cold and bitter as it crawls through your veins... No different than your husband, unforgiving and all consuming, taking until there is nothing but a bed of graves.
You were sick of his abuse - the condescending words - the control... You mistakenly thought it'd never get physical, so you bravely told him you were leaving... Oh, what good that did you.
'I'll tell them how ya run away from me... They'll believe me, y'know? Fuckin' whore.'
Blood leaks from your cut up legs, drifting into the darkness, like bait you lure anything closer. He had dragged you to the rocky coast line, your begging and screaming had fallen on deaf ears, tossed over and discarded like mere trash. Something to be forgotten because it no longer was useful.
Something brushes against your leg but you don't have the will to fight it... You can't swim. You always feared the water. There's no point in trying to fight.
×🩷×
Kyle drifts through the water - big brown eyes searching for the scent of blood he picked up on... Webbed hands immediately grasp onto the floating body of a woman without much thought at first, then he processes it.
"The hell...?"
For a moment he thinks she's dead - given the fact she didn't instantly start kicking and flailing... And if she was already dead then a bite wouldn't hurt right- but no... There's certainly a pulse. Soft but there.
He couldn't just kill an innocent woman like this, could he? Even as a shark style monster in the deep, he still has that heart of gold under the surface. So, he drags her towards the dim light of the moon above, moving her to the shore...
It concerns him... The fact she didn't fight... It made it easier to save her but - why didn't she fight?
"C'mon now..."
Settling her against the sand he assists her, watching her cough and sputter, small rocks digging into her skin.
"Who did this to you...?"
He didn't much expect an answer to the question, especially not when she finally got a good look at her savior... He suspected the usual fearful screams would tear through the air - that was how it'd usually go anyway.
×🩷×
You certainly were a bit startled to look over and see the very thing many warn of. People often claimed a monster lurked the waters by this shore but... He saved you...? He could've easily chewed the meat off your bones, especially with those freakishly sharp shark-like teeth of his...
He's honestly kind of beautiful, unique patterns of dark spots and strips across the gray scales on his lower half, his tail built exactly how a shark would be - aside from the whole scaliness of it.
"Thank you..."
You sputter out the words and those big brown eyes of his widen, lifting himself up a bit while he looks at you... He's definitely stunned from what you can tell by his expression, his slightly pointed ears twitching.
"You're not scared of me?"
"Well, I am a little bit but... If you wanted to hurt me - you would have."
A soft chuckle emits from his chest, amusement bubbling and spilling over. You're a very strange human in his books but he likes you...
However, it nags in the back of his head as to what happened to you. How you ended up injured in the water to begin with - the look on your face and your body language... It all reeks of humans doing.
After all - those who walk on land are often much more frightening monsters than the creatures of the deep ever could be...
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{I'm fuckin' exhausted so it took forever to write this and it's shit. And yeah it has a cliffhanger ending - I gave up. I didn't know where to go from there. I probably won't make a part 2 because I'm losing mind.}
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{@sofasoap @soupbinsoup @sarraa-26 @gothgirl6-6-6 @caramlizedtomatoes-deactivated2 }
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{More Content}
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hihellomy · 2 days
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SAHSRAU IDEA
WARNING:Religious themes, cult themes, semi existencisl crisis, Boothill leaks(backstory)
Now listen ever since Boothill leaks dropped of his backstory i hated the IPC, and then i went on to learn more about them and damn. If Sahsr were real theyd be dead by now.
Like i take my hatred seriously, i just started Topaz's quest and i was nitpicking the most humbling options and the ones that were most pessimistic towards IPC, i decided to not pull ANY IPC CHARACTER, Topaz, Aventurine, Jade, Im not pulling any of them, f the shield and f the treasure, and my love for Boothill is visible, hes the reason i redownloaded (i was still very much in the tutorial part) and kept the game this time, and while my saving could have been bigger(i got a bit greedy on standard pulls) their at 110 with no pity on both character and weapon banner, i am getting that mf
And thew self aware lenses the Astral express is debating, the IPC arent perfect, yes, but they have friends there, they DID help places, but their grace refused to have anything even remotely positive towards them, should they...cut off all ties? If it pleases their grace maybe, and they cant deny how valid your concerns are, they are bad people, they have disapointed their grace, in fact youd be happy if they got wiped wouldnt you? No, youd want them alive. To torture them, and then... For their last breath will serve as a suficient offering
The IPC meanwhile are sweating bullets, some of them are aware of how rotten they are, some genuanly believe they are good, Topaz unfortunatly falls into the second category, she and Numpy are reaching high and low for only the best treasure for your offerings, pleading, begging you to forgive their actions, and maybe you could, if she felt and never looked back, burning away what was left, Aventurine's hands better off being choped off, its vibrating from panic, hes pacing back and forth, chewing on his glowes, can he even leave if he wanted to? who would he turn to? what would he do then? He may have been blessed by Mama Fengu but you... You are anything else, he doesnt like the IPC either but he knows that if you could, youd travel back in time and give him the coldest responses, and death threats behind that beautiful, safe screen. Jade, Miss Jade, Powerful and in control Jade, knew she was the most screwed from the three, it was no secret, what she did to Aventurine, her slaves, they held their usual expressions but she knew they were smilling on the inside, awaiting your rescuse from her hands, she knows turning over a new lief wasnt an option, youd just laugh at the idea she could reddem what she did, all she can do is call Diamond and seek a solution, what else is there
Boothill, Ive never seen him happier, he cant wait for hes release, for you to come pick him up, get him a brand new gun, give him all those thingamagics to make him stronger, to better make you happy, you care so much about him, hes your favorite, he hopes youll be happy w ith his trial and still choose him, hell do his best there! Oh he can already hear and see it all when the prophecy comes true, for when that stupid, cage breaks.... The wedding bells... The little rascals.... He already has a few names planned! Isnt he so great?
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