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meltwonu · 3 years

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| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 18]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; dom!seungcheol, dirty talk, car sex, filmed sex videos, using panties as a gag, but also panty stuffing, choking, domme!reader for like .3 seconds ☠️, after all the mess of last night(iykyk) i think we need this lol, but also a bit of a filler chapter for… reasons. 💕 but also came out raunchier than I anticipated but that was maybe just a me thing LOL 😭 as always, thank you for all the love and support with cherry bomb💕💕 only two more chapters left, I cant believe it... 😭😭😭 also again, another inbox roundup tomorrow! For now, enjoy ch 18 and have a great weekend! Be safe! ❤️🍒

not me editing the notes to include the ❤️🍒 that cheol just used on weverse 😩

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - x - x

“Did you get it?”

Jun looks around the diner as he nods, “Yeah. It got to my house yesterday but I still don’t understand why I had to help you get this… Does Seungcheol-hyung not know? I’m confused.” He laughs nervously, somewhat concerned he’s helping you do something you shouldn’t be doing.

You grin back at the confused male, blinking innocently at him while he chuckles under his breath.

“Not… for now. But don’t worry. He’ll find out! I just… Haven’t brought it up to him yet, is all! But I will! ‘Cause we’re planning something~”

Jun’s lips fall into a surprised ‘o’, eyes flitting to the group of people that enter the diner.

“I’ll be with you in a moment!” He yells, smiling before he turns to face you again. “So you’re scheming something but hyung’s just not part of the scheming… yet?”

“Exactly!”

“Hey, what do you say we go on a picnic date on Saturday?”

You tilt your head at Seungcheol, eyebrows raised. “I mean, I’d love to but we need to… post on Saturday? We haven’t filmed anything yet so I thought we’d film early on Saturday and then… y’know.”

Seungcheol grins at you from the opposite end of the sofa; eyes glimmering with a playfulness that has you mumbling a quiet ‘I see’ before rolling your eyes jokingly at the male.

“I see you’re scheming so the answer is yes, ‘Cheol, I’d love to go on a date with you on Saturday.”

“Good, ‘cause I already have everything set up for us so it would’ve been a waste!”

The two of you share a laugh before you’re remembering what you needed to bring up to Seungcheol. “Hey, by the way… about the channel rebranding thing.” Pausing, you wait for him to give you his full attention before you continue. “I thought maybe, we skip next week’s Wednesday show and instead we do a Friday show and for the last time, do a Saturday show and that’ll be, like, the rebranding? Is that confusing?”

Seungcheol nods along slowly, “No I know what you’re goin’ for. Any ideas for the shows?”

Your face and cheeks feel hot as you squirm, “Well… I had this idea. Why don’t we each… come up with a show concept. I’ll pick Friday’s show and you can pick Saturday’s and we’ll go with each other’s idea. Not, like, a competition but y’know, I thought it’d be fun for our viewers too! They can see what we come up with when each of us have control of the theme.”

Seungcheol goes quiet, contemplating his options. “And neither of us will know what the other’s concept is until the show?”

“Mmhmm! All within our hard limits though! That’s the only rule.”

A grin finds its way onto Seungcheol’s face.

Oh, did he have ideas.

“Sounds fun. Can’t wait to see what you come up with, baby.”

‘Jeongguk I have a favour.’

Jeon 🥴: always favours wit u but ok, i havent been disappointed yet

Jeon 🥴: u keep me on my toes, it makes me tingly

‘Shut up’

‘Do you have Jimin’s phone number, by chance?’

Jeon 🥴: I mean yea i do but…

Jeon 🥴: nvm i dont wanna kno

Jeon 🥴: but actually i wanna kno before i give it to u

‘Just give me the number and you can find out next Saturday’

Jeon 🥴: cryptic but i like it

Jeon 🥴: 82 13 1013 0613

Jeon 🥴: ur welcome

‘Thanks, Jeongguk, I owe you.’

The week continues with you and Seungcheol continuing to plan without each other; sly smirks and hushed giggles passed between you both even when Friday’s show comes and goes.

Saturday morning greets you with cloudy skies and pouring rain and you pout at Seungcheol as soon as you manage to get the curtains open to watch the downpour.

“‘Cheol, it’s raining… How are we gonna go on a picnic date now?” He bites the inside of his cheek as he thinks.

“We can still go on our date, we’ll just… stay in the car. It’s not as romantic as I would’ve liked but I already had everything set up for us and even packed a basket.” He laughs under his breath, a little deflated that the rain had suddenly come and ruined his plans.

There went his idea of fucking you on a big picnic blanket out in the open.

“I gotta say, even though we’re just chilling in your parked car on the hillside… It’s actually quite pretty out here, ‘Cheol! Kinda calming with the rain and all~”

The two of you stay bundled up underneath a blanket in the backseat; the car windows already fogged up with the warmth the two of you radiate.

Seungcheol had packed a picnic basket filled with various snacks and premade food; a sheepish smile on his face when he told you he wasn’t sure what to bring.

“I would’ve made food but I wanted it to be a surprise and I also wasn’t sure what would’ve been good to bring. Although, now I’m thinkin’ we should’ve packed a thermos of hot chocolate or something.”

You pull away from him slightly, pouting. “That would’ve been good to warm us up a bit. I totally didn’t think of it either…”

Seungcheol grins, wiggling his eyebrows at you. “Speaking of warming up…” He leaves the comfort of the blanket as he leans over to the side, placing his phone precariously on the phone holder that he’d set up on the backside of the driver’s seat to catch a side view of the two of you. He opens the camera app and quickly starts recording before he settles back into his place across from you.

“Well? Give it to me, baby. Right now.”

You feel a thrum of arousal pour over you at his sudden demand, “I--but--but I’m not p-prepped yet, I--”

Seungcheol chuckles, shaking his head slightly before he leans over you; making sure the two of you are within the camera’s line of filming.

“Baby, I just wanted a kiss.” Your entire face goes hot, all the way up to your ears. “O-oh.”

He leans in, soft lips pressing against your own as he tangles a hand in your hair to deepen the kiss. You melt into his touch, lips parting on their own as you let out soft moans that mix in with the pitter patter of rain outside.

His lips leave yours and before you can even get a word out, a shiver runs up your spine when he starts pressing soft kisses against your jawline.

“So pretty and all mine.” He mumbles; voice muffled against your warm skin. “And now everyone knows who you belong to, right, angel?”

You nod shakily, throat dry at the gentleness in Seongcheol’s voice. “Y-yeah… ‘m all yours, ‘C--Cheol…”

“Should I leave some reminders? Just in case anyone forgets.”

You mewl in response, eyes rolling back when you feel Seungcheol starting to leave love bites on your neck. He sucks on the skin, only to soothe it with his tongue moments after.

“A-ah, don’t l-leave so many or e-else…” Whining, you rub your thighs together under the blanket; already feeling the arousal starting to take over your body.

“Or else…? I wasn’t aware you were giving me orders now, baby.” He smirks against your skin, leaving one more love bite on the column of your neck before he pulls away.

He kisses you softly on the lips once more before he’s pulling the blanket off of you and tugging you onto his lap; a gentle, warm smile on his plush lips. Your lust filled eyes meet Seungcheol’s before they’re flitting down to your lap where he pushes your skirt up to reveal your panties and before you can fully comprehend, he’s already tearing at the material before he tosses it to the side.

“I want you to ride my cock just like this, baby. Forget the camera’s even rolling, I wanna see you getting off in the backseat of my car and I wanna see your pretty face when you’re falling apart from how good my cock fills up your pretty cunt.”

You rock your hips against Seungcheol’s; hands placed on his shoulder as you chase your pleasure.

“You look so pretty like this, angel. So fuckin’ cute when you’re getting what you want.” You moan in response, head thrown back when the head of his cock taps your g-spot.

“So fuckin’ wet for me.” Seungcheol pauses; hands snaking down your body until you feel them on the skin of your ass.

He squeezes your ass as you whine loudly, fingertips teasing at the puckered rim. “Ah, we should’ve brought a toy with us. Bet you would’ve liked both of your needy holes filled, huh?”

“Y-yes, fuck! S--Seungcheol!” You clench around his cock, bouncing in his lap harder when he pulls his fingers away.

“We’ll save it for another time~ Wouldn’t want to rock the car too much, y’know? And I’d want you to be comfortable when you have all your needy ‘lil holes filled, not in the backseat of my car.” He grins at your somewhat disappointed face; feet planted on the floor of the car before he’s thrusting up into you and matching your erratic movements.

“Oh, g-god, it feels s--so good! I, ah, w-wanna cum!” Whimpering, your brows furrow as your hazy eyes meet Seungcheol’s.

“Aww, my sweet angel wants to cum already? So fuckin’ easy. Only a few minutes on my cock and you’re already falling apart?”

When he smirks back at you; there’s a sudden pang of confidence that pours over you and in an instant, you move a free hand up to the column of his throat. You squeeze down slightly, only enough as a warning as he licks his lips at you.

There’s a beat of silence as the two of you stop your movements while you sit perfectly still on his cock.

“Hmm? Gonna choke me to shut me up, baby? Go ahead. Let’s see if you can.” He taunts, hands still on your clothed waist. You start swiveling your hips again, except this time you keep your hand loosely wrapped around his neck; fingertips only just pressing into the sides as he lets out a soft groan in return.

“I bet you’d like it t-too much, ‘Cheol…” He chuckles softly; nodding when he feels his cock throbbing inside of your pussy.

“Not as much as you do.” He starts thrusting up into you again, momentarily making you lose your hold on him when your body jostles from his harsh movements.

“Mmh, gonna cum in your pretty cunt ‘n then I’m gonna make you sit pretty with your fingers keeping my cum inside while I drive us both home. Fuck, bet you’d cum again just from that too. Sitting in the passenger’s seat, fingering my cum deeper into your needy cunt.”

Before Seungcheol can say any more, your other free hand quickly reaches for your discarded, torn panties; shoving them into his parted lips as he lets out a surprised noise around the fabric.

“You, ngh, t-talk too m-much…” You mutter.

Seungcheol can’t help but laugh around the fabric, quickly pulling your hand from around his neck as he swiftly maneuvers you off of his cock to switch your positions.

He presses you down into the backseat as he pistons his hips into you; his hands keeping your legs spread obscenely wide as he fucks you hard and fast.

The car rocks back and forth with his harsh movements and your moans only get louder and louder with each thrust of his hips that has the head of his cock slamming into your g-spot.

“Oh, fuck, fuck, ‘m gonna c-cum!” You feel your walls getting tighter around Seungcheol’s cock and he finds it harder and harder to thrust into you as your body starts to tense with your impending orgasm. He growls around the fabric in his mouth; eyes silently ordering you to cum as his hips start to lose rhythm.

“Ah, S--Seungcheol!”

His name rolls off of your tongue in quick succession until it turns into muddled, broken whines and cries and he fucks you right through your orgasm as he chases his own. He feels his cock throbbing inside of you as your walls flutter around him and he only manages a drawn out groan before he’s unloading all of his cum inside of you; head thrown back as he lets the waves of pleasure wash over his body.

You stare up at him through glassy eyes, chest heaving as you ride out the remnants of your high. “Ngh… gonna, mmh, make a--a mess on the s-seats…” Muttering, it takes a few quiet moments before Seungcheol is slowing down his thrusts to a complete halt but the glimmer in his eyes lets you know he’s not completely done with you just yet.

Seungcheol starts to slowly ease his cock out of you as you groan softly at the emptiness, waiting for the second you close your eyes to blink to make his move.

He takes his chance; pulling the soaked material from inside of his mouth just as the head of his cock is at your entrance and he quickly places the torn panties right where the head of his cock was, just a second ago.

“That was really cute of you, baby.” You breath hitches when you feel his fingers starting to press the material into your spent hole. “Really, really cute.”

Your thighs shake at the feeling of Seungcheol slowly pushing your panties into your cunt; eyes rolling to the back of your head as you let out shaky whimpers. “Oh, fuh--fuck, Seungcheol, mmh!”

“I actually packed a spare pair of panties for you, y’know? I was gonna play nice and eat your pretty ‘lil cunt out instead of letting you sit in cum soaked panties but I guess you had other plans, hmm? Got a little too greedy, perhaps?”

He smirks down at you, watching as your face contorts in unadulterated bliss when he pushes more and more of your panties into your pussy until only a small piece of fabric is left hanging out.

Seungcheol turns to face his phone that’s still recording, plucking it from the holder it’d been in before he flips the camera and films your body instead. He lets it linger on your fucked out expression before he brings it down to your pussy, filming your squirming body as you clench around the fabric keeping Seungcheol’s cum from spilling out of you and onto the backseat.

“Mm, and now you get to sit in the passenger’s seat, your own panties stuffed into your pussy while I drive home. But I bet it feels good, huh? Your needy ‘lil hole plugged up ‘til I can get you home so I can fuck you again. Unless you get really desperate, then I’ll let you take the panties out by yourself and you can finger your cunt and make yourself cum again.”

Goosebumps rise on your skin at his filthy words and you can’t help but bring a shaky hand down, fingertips already on your clit as Seungcheol raises a brow at you.

“You should get to d-driving then, ‘Cheol… Don’t you wanna find out what, ah, I choose?”

He shakes his head as he ends the recording on his phone; tossing the device to the side before he leans over you again.

“You’ve been getting really cocky with me, angel. Something I should know about?”

You blink up at him innocently, lips in a pout.

“Nope~”

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #scoups fic #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol fic #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt scenarios #svt fic #seventeen fic #scoups #seungcheol

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organic-guacamole · 3 years

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showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #hsmtmts spoilers #ej caswell #gina porter #ricky bowen #nini salazar roberts #seb mathew smith #carlos rodriguez #big red #ashlyn caswell #kourtney greene #howie my pizza king #lily hsmtmts

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beyoncesdragon · 4 years

Text

title: a handsome distraction

→Pairing: Jimin x Female!Reader (Choi Yeonjun has a lil cameo but not really, just kinda)

→Summary: You hate math because you can’t do it and Jimin hates math because he can’t do you.

→Warnings: just a few swear words, but other than that, you’re safe! It’s Fluff!! Except you have an allergic reaction whenever there is math involved, then I’d suggest you continue with precaution.

→Wordcount: 2.2k

a/n: Some Jimin fluff because I want a Park Jimin to annoy me during math class...but we cant always have what we wish for. Therefore we write it.

Masterlist | BTS Masterlist

You were having a hard time.

Harder than usually, and considering that you were currently doing math, that was alarming. Even more because it wasn’t even because of the subject you were being taught through another zoom class. It also wasn’t because your internet was lagging more than usually and now the video wasn’t always perfectly in sync with the audio. It wasn’t the fact that you hated math with a passion, and already gave up on the subject four years ago either.

The thing that was giving you a hard time was a lot more handsome than the bland equation you were trying to solve with the teacher. Or rather, you were watching her solve it whilst you just copied everything that appeared on the screen, not quite knowing why she decided to multiply this x with the other one or how in the hell she discovered a binominal in between this whole mess.

The thing that was distracting you also went by the name of Park Jimin, your boyfriend, talented singer, dancer, hardworking man and performer, song writer and fashion icon and current cause of the headache that was starting to form behind your temples.

“Jimin! Can you finally stop this?!” you hissed through your teeth, wiggling his foot off your lap before pulling the couch table a bit closer.

You were currently seated on the floor, back resting against the couch and all of your school stuff spread out around you. Your laptop was propped up on another stack of books because you had been too lazy to clear the whole table and there was a little pile, scribbled full with notes and terms and unsuccessful attempts of solving various mathematical problems. So far you had however only created new problems and instead of leaning something new, you felt like someone pressed the reboot button half way through the lesson without backing up the hardware.

Long story short: it was a mess and Jimin wasn’t helping at all.

“Jimin please! I’m trying to work here. I’m trying to pay attention for once.” Jimin just snickered, flopping down on the couch behind you.

“You’ve been on it for hours now.” Well, that was the point of classes, wasn’t it. Not that Jimin could relate anymore, since he already graduated (a thing he wouldn’t dream of letting you forget). “You’re shamelessly exaggerating again. It has not even been one and a half hour and you spent the first forty minutes sleeping anyways.” Jimin just shrugged, propping his face up on his hands, curiously peeking from behind you onto the screen. He reminded you of a curious cat and you had to hold back a smile (a calico cat, perhaps?). However, since the two of you had been ordered to keep the relationship as low key as possible, you couldn’t just let him do that. As cute as he might looked with his ruffled hair and baggy clothes.

“Get out of the frame, they will see you.” he huffed, flicking your nose before tossing around again and sitting up. “I bet I was the most interesting thing they got to see in those six hours you’re ignoring me now.” You groaned, attempting to throw a pen at him.

“I’m done in twenty five minutes Jimin. Can you please…”

“Are there any questions so far?” the voice of your teacher cut you off and you snapped back to the screen. It seemed like all eyes were on you (though you obviously couldn’t tell) and you felt the tinge of embarrassment tickling your cheeks. You shook your head and went back to taking notes.

In the meantime, Jimin took it upon himself to be as noisy as possible whilst preparing a cup of tea. He slammed the cupboard door shut with way to much force, banged the cup against the counter dangerously hard and had a dirty grin on his lips when you flinched.

“Jagi, where did you put the tealeaves again?” he then suddenly yelled, though there was no need to yell, you literally had an open kitchen and were in direct sight. You flinched again, looking up at him with a frown. “Bottom left drawer, like always. What are you even talking about.” All that could be heard was a chuckle. It took him exactly half an equation later to interrupt you again.

“Can you hold my cup please, I don’t want it to tip over.” You stared at him blankly. “Seriously Jimin?” He shrugged. “That, or watch the love of your life burn his fingers off.” You shook your head. “Or the love of my life finally gets a grip on himself and gets a proper kettle like every normal human being would. He just grinned smugly before shrugging it off. You twirled your pen in your hand, reaching for the laptop to unmute yourself and ask a question, when…

“Where is the honey again?” you huffed frustrated, sitting back. “Left, top shelf. Jesus Christ…no left…Jimin, left.” You repeated, taking your eyes from the screen completely.

“Miss Y/L/N is there something you would like to ask?” you cringed at the call and quickly unmuted yourself to reassure your teacher that everything was fine, when Jimin took it upon himself to answer for you.

“AH thank you Jagi, you’re too kind…is your math thing finally over? That one equation is taking you guys ages.” your eyes widened before you quickly mumbled an apology and muted your audio again. Over the rim of your screen you sent a Jimin a glare that made him choke up on his tea.

It however failed to prevent him from walking over and sitting next to you, clearly holding back his laughter. He reached out for your hand and pressed a quick kiss on your knuckles.

“Sorry Jagi. I miss you.” you just shook your head, eyes trained on the screen. “I figured Jimin.” That was all you said before pressing your lips back together. You could only hope the professor hadn’t picked up on what Jimin had been implying and wasn’t hurt. Goddess, this was so embarrassing and this little shit knew it.

“You know…it’s just because I don’t have many free days like this, therefore it just sucks to have you occupied the whole time if there is one…” you sighed deeply, shaking your head. “I said twenty five minutes Jimin.”

He managed to sit still for maybe five. Then he started to play with your unoccupied hand again, before he suddenly dipped down and settled his head on your thigh. “Can I?” you looked down on him eyebrows slightly risen. “Lay on my thighs? Sure, but don’t pull any stunts or you sleep on the couch tonight.” Jimin laughed quietly, innocently peeking up at you. “I would never. And if I would, I’m sure you would enjoy it anyways. You always do.” You left that uncommented and only briefly pressed your index finger against his lips. “Shush Jimin.”

After just a few minutes you had your hands in his hair already, absentmindedly playing with a few strands. He sighed happily before starting to draw little circles against your hip, humming quietly.

“You must be the most noisy rice cake there is.” Was all you pushed out before dramatically flying backwards against the couch Jimin gasped in fake outrage. The call finally ended and you felt like someone had fried your brain and your nerves in those two periods. Jimin sat up instantly, grabbing his now empty tea cup, before strolling towards the kitchen.

“Yah, no need to get personal. At least I don’t suck at math.” He retorted with a cocky expression, and this time you threw the pen for real.

“Wow, but you tell me not to get personal?” You stretched your body with a yawn before giving him a firm look. “You know what? I in this case I liked TXT’s performance better than yours.” It was completely off topic, but you needed something to bug him with. After those two painful lessons of math and Jimin you felt like you deserved that. And, it worked.

“Wait what? Which one?”

“MMA.” Jimin almost tripped over his own feet. “I beg you pardon? Better than our MMA Show? 2019? Are we on the same page?” You had troubles holding back your laughter at his obvious outrage. With a coy wink into his direction, you confirmed.

“Why so surprised? Yeonjun can rap…and also he has super pretty lips.” You shrugged, a lazy grin appearing on your lips. “You like his lips? He is too young for you!”

“You’re only four years older, dumbass.” with those words you got up and walked towards the kitchen as well. As you passed him, you placed a firm smack on the dancers butt before reaching for a cup to fetch yourself a cup of tea too.

Jimin had his arms crossed over his chest, a frown etched on his face as he watched you wordlessly, a mixture of disbelieve and outrage on his face.

“Are you sulking now?” you asked, turning around to him whilst the tea was steeping.

“Can you seriously blame me? You just admitted to like a guy that started as a rookie when I already debuted for a whole year…” you rolled your eyes. “Jimin!” but he wasn’t done just yet. “And you said I can’t rap!” you gave him a pointed look, turning to stir your tea for a second.

“I never said that, I know you can.” Jimin just shook his head.

“You said that he can rap, as in; other than you, he can rap.” He pouted like a little kid and you were having a hard time taking him serious. He just looked a tad too cute and too cuddly in that oversized shirt of his. “Oh my god Jimin…”

He turned on his heel with a dramatic flip of hair and strutted away towards the living room area. You heard him mumble to himself in annoyance as he approached your laptop, opening the device with a quick motion.

“What was your password again?” he asked, not even looking up. “It’s the date of your debut…”

“In letters or numbers?”

“Numbers.” He just nodded, a firm scowl on his face. “I’m almost surprised it isn’t TXT’s debut date.” He remarked sassily, unlocking your laptop with a pointed click of his index finger. You only shook your head, grabbed your mug and walked over to him. “Damn, you really are going there, hm?”

“What? You started it. Freaking Yeonjun out of all people…I will hit him when I see him again.” You chortled at his response, shaking your head. “Would you rather have me gushing over Yoongi?” he immediately shook his head.

“No that would be weird…wait do you mean Yoongi is cute?” a new wave of outrage shook that tiny body as he whipped around to look at you.

“Do you not think that?” he halted for a second, tilting his head. “Well obviously I do, but I am not my girlfriend.” You couldn’t only laugh at that. “Are you not? Wouldn’t have figured that out.”

“And on top of all of that, you said that they had a better MMA Performance than we had! Speaking of, ours wasn’t just a performance, we blessed you with an entire experience. How can you even compare that.” You giggled helplessly at your enraged boyfriend, opening your arms for a hug.

“Relax, baby. I was only joking.” He huffed in response, turning away dramatically. “No can do. I can’t believe I’ve been backstabbed like that. By my own girlfriend.”

He had clicked on their performance video with so much vigour it made you laugh even harder. Especially because their own performance was recommended to play right after TXT and he hesitated not even half a second before adding it to the queue.

“If you mention anything about Yeonjun’s lips, I will skip all of his parts and we go straight to our show, I’m not even kidding.” You giggled only, pressing your lips against his cheek. “Jealous Jiminie never fails to make me laugh. This group debuted in march of 2019 the same year. They weren’t even a year old and still performed like this, that’s all I’m gushing about, basically.”

And with that you pressed the play button and started the video. You actually expected Jimin to wrap his arms around you any second, but the man was still a moping mess and refused to even spare you a glance. With a sigh you decided to take matters into your own hands and leaned against him.

“Jimin.” No response.

“Baby. Look at me.” For a second it looked like he would ignore you once again. Just when you debated about calling him again or just cuddle him instead, he turned his head into your direction. You couldn’t help the small smile that immediately appeared on your face.

“You’re still the prettiest man on earth Jimin. Don’t worry, I could never look at anyone else than you. This includes your lips, by the way.” He hummed, acting as if all of this wouldn’t even affect him the slightest.

“I know.”

You burst out laughing. “You do now? So will you stop sulking?” He shrugged only, giving you a sly side-eye. “Only if you admit that you did drool when you watched our performance because up to this point, I have not heard a confession coming from your lips.” You huffed unfazed, shaking your head.

“Park Jimin, you are too cocky for your own good.”

“I’m just right sweetheart. Very unlike that equation you just solved…might want to look over that again.”

“Oh will you shut up!”

— ✩ thank u for reading ✩ —

#btswritingcafe #park jimin #jimin fanfic #bts fanfic #bts jimin #bts park jimin #park jimin x reader #park jimin x you #park jimin x y/n #park jimin fluff #jimin x you #jimin x reader #jimin x y/n #imagines #kpop imagines #bts ff #My writing #a handsome distraction

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neverdoingmuch · 3 years

Note

I’m here for the ‘swords not as pets’ agenda. Swords as cars: solid, get you from place to place, potentially dangerous, customizable, something people name. Wwx losing his license taking the fall for a mistake jc made (idk, dui maybe?) and just choosing to mod the hell out of a self-balancing scooter or segway or something so it goes dangerously fast. Alternatively: spending 3 months inventing the first functional actual levitating hoverboard, with an insane top speed. 3 months in the (1/2)

sawdfert this is delightful!! i saw segway and i immediately started wheezing,, there was no time for laughing i went straight to the wheezing. i think it would make more sense if wwx lost his car and got a motorcycle? like hoverboards and segways are cool but motorcycles have that big reputation of being dangerous and there’s the whole ‘rebellious teen gets a motorcycle and becomes a delinquent’ thing? like motorcycles are fast and if you crash it’s so much worse than if you were in a car and there’s no airbags or anything. but also?? wwx rocking up to school on a segway while playing his flute like the shittiest entrance ever? iconic. but let’s stick with chenqing as a motorcycle/scooter (motorcycle-esque scooter not the ones that try and take out your ankles).

okay so all the major sects are super rich so in a modern au it would make sense for all the sect heirs to get cars. i’m not saying that jc and wwx complain about jzx being stuck-up bc he was given a porsche for his birthday even though they were also given cars for their birthdays,,, but i am. at first it would have been this major point of contention between yzy and jfm bc wwx isn’t even their son so why is he getting a car too but wwx is like ah it’s so i can drive jc and jyl to school! you wouldn’t want their cars being left outside the school all day would you? someone in my maths class had their car get keyed and it was super expensive to fix,, and yzy is like yes wwx may have a car only to protect my children from parking hassles,, also wwx must pay for his own parking. so wwx and jc both get given cars for their bdays.

now wwx gets bored easily,, so you could translate him being a cultivation genius to him being really good at driving. im talking that jc is still getting the hang of switching gears and wwx is out there casually drifting around corners. (this does mean he has to get new tyres really frequently but he’s friends with wen ning, whose family runs the mechanics that wwx likes to go to so he just helps around the shop for a bit and gets a discount (yes its the family discount)). anyway wwx really enjoys driving, also! he just rocks up to wen ning’s place one day and is like dude, i wanna pimp my ride, wanna help and wen ning is like heck yeah. so wwx pays for some upgrades with his own money and he spends hours doing some custom work to make it look cool,,

it’s all going well until wwx and jc go to wen chao’s party one night and jc gets absolutely sloshed,,, like completely hammered. wwx had walked in, grabbed a cup of lemonade or something and was gonna hang with his friends but lwj was there for some reason so he spent the entire night talking to him in the back garden. which means that when jc wanted to leave he saw wwx hanging out with lwj and went ew gross and just decided to drive home himself. he crashes and when wwx comes home the next day jc gets super pissed at him bc he was meant to be the designated driver and if he hadnt been screwing around with lwj jc wouldnt have tried to drive home and now his parents will be super pissed and wwx is like woah chill my grandmother is a mechanic and she can fix this up just give me a couple of days.

so wwx goes to baoshan sanren mechanics (which is just the back entrance to the wen sibling’s mechanics) and spends the next three days getting rid of all of his customisations and mods so his car looks exactly like jc’s. does he cry when he has to spend like five mins spraying the inside of the car with axe body spray to get the jc stench going on? maybe a little. but he does it and returns the car to jc! and jc is like oh wow my car is fixed, your grandma is a miracle worker and wwx is like haha yeah (:

anyway wwx mysteriously and suddenly discovers a passion for public transport,, it’s a good way to stay humble jiang cheng, he says, also i used all my petrol money buying porn from nhs or whatever. anyway wwx is doing the whole pt to school thing but then one afternoon wen chao and wzh find him and idk maybe the party got too rowdy so the cops came and wc got in trouble with his dad? he assumes wwx called the cops on him so he shoves wwx into his car and drives him out to the middle of no where and dumps him in the burial mounds scrap metal recycling place or whatever.

the train line isn’t running that day and there’s no phone service either so wwx is stuck there overnight. he gets super bored. so what does he do? he finds an abandoned scooter and starts scavenging for parts. he’s not expecting it to actually work but by the time the sun rises he’s found some actually decent parts and he thinks that he could get it working. tbh he kinda forgets to go back home and just walks into town to buy some food and then goes back and continues fiddling with the scooter. he doesnt live there for the three months but the people in yiling just accept that this random teenager has all but moved into their scrap heap and adopt him anyway. so he goes and visits the burial mounds every day after school so none of his friends or family really see him anymore.

until! one day he rocks up to school on his scooter. scooters,, are kinda like sad pathetic motorcycles,, but wwx mods his scooter with like a powerful engine and new steering and everything so people see it and go oh! a motorcycle! even though it’s not actually (can you do that with a scooter? idk but suspend your disbelief pls). so lwj is like hnnngg wwx in a leather jacket on a motorcycle but also wei ying, stop riding a motorcycle, *enter statistics about motorcycle crashes here* and wwx is like no! you cant take chenqing away from me. and jc is pissed bc they were meant to be brothers and have matching cars and be able to work on them and give them cool paint jobs together! but now wwx has this bike which has been modded to hell and back and refuses to drive his car bc it’s not as cool as his bike. so we get to have the whole ‘everyone thinks wwx is doing something dumb and dangerous’ bc he has a motorcycle and why isnt he just driving his car anymore? but we also get to keep some of the nuance of the demonic cultivation bc yeah it’s more dangerous than driving in a car but wwx doesnt have a car anymore and scooters are a loottt safer than motorcycles (if my two seconds of research is correct).

so! wwx won’t abandon chenqing and he did most of his work using scrap parts so he goes back to the wens and is like wen ning my best bro check her out and he’s like oooooooh and they start modding chenqing together. wen qing doesnt know why wwx is constantly over at their shop all the time but jc keeps arguing with wwx and wwx grows more distant with his family and friends bc he’s making ~bad decisions~ and a motorcycle is a gateway to idk teen delinquent shenanigans like smoking and doing graffiti so he’s kinda ousted from respectable rich people society and wen qing is like i have two (2) brothers now and they’re adorable not that i’ll ever tell them that. and wwx modding chenqing got him a reputation in yiling like everyone saw him walk in one day and then drive out with this sexy sexy bike so people start coming to him for mods and stuff and wwx earns the title yiling patriarch and wen ning, his trusted best friend and helper, gets called the ghost general bc idk he helps a lot but the customers never meet him. so they become some dynamic duo for car and bike mods!

anyway,, yzy delivers him an ultimatum one day: the car or the bike (or more accurately: the family or the bike) but wwx can’t drive the car anymore so he just gets quietly disowned and drops out of school. (we’ll save jzxuan the suffering in this au he can keep his car). he goes to the wens and theyre like hey whats up? wait no you cant live in a scrap heap,, not even if you buy a tent,,, just live with us please. and then wwx gets adopted by the wens and idk i want them to have a happy ending so wwx and wn go off and do some actual mechanic and modding training with some expert (sqdcfgt imagine if it was the real baoshan sanren who just happened to be in the market for some apprentices and saw wwx and wn’s work and was like them and then later realised it was her grandson). so they get their apprenticeship and they disappear off somewhere for a year or two - when wwx had been disowned he’d deleted everyone’s contacts and was like if they text me i’ll add them back but im not gonna have a contact list cemetery. (no one contacts him).

eventually the 13 years pass and wwx has been helping the wens raise their little nephew a-yuan who is showing a real aptitude for being a mechanic even though he’s just a kid and just generally enjoying the quiet life of being a mechanic while doing fun mods and lil baby projects. then one day lwj’s car breaks down while he’s driving through the area and he calls up the local mechanic and guess who rocks up? it’s wwx. and then we get to have them dance around each other and wwx being like lwj doesnt trust me, he’s just sitting here and watching me work all day ): and lwj is like dont let him go dont let him go dont let him go,, and eventually they get their romance but this is way too long already so im im gonna end this here

i didnt mean to make this an entire au but i adored your idea so much anon so i kinda had to!!

#mdzs #modao zushi #wei wuxian #wangxian #lan wangji #wen ning #wen qing #my aus #asks #cql #the untamed #i might come and add a read more later but i dont have time now sorry!#Anonymous

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cheyningdiamond · 3 years

Text

Past Encounter

Inside of the train, Clayton was sitting back with his phone in his hand. He was texting his mother, who he was on the way of meeting at the next station in Nevada. 'R u almost here? I can't wait to see you again, my little cowboy!🤠' 'Moooom It's a 4 hour ride over there. n pls dont call me that, I'm not 7 anymore!' 'Lol I know, I'm just so happy 2 see you! I cant wait for you to tell me all the exciting stories you have from college!' Clayton felt his heart sink slightly at that text. He didn't exactly have the courage to tell her he dropped out a while ago. Sure, he got a job someplace soon after, but it still made him weary about his mother's reaction... 24 years old, college dropout, trying to figure his life together... Clayton sighed and leaned back, covering his face. "...Something the matter?" He heard a voice next to him. He moved his hands and saw a woman sitting beside him. He saw that her hair covered her eyes and her stomach showed that she was expecting. "A-Ah... No, A-Ah'm fine, ma'am..." "Your face shows the opposite..." He looked at her hair-covered eyes, then sighed, giving up rather quickly and spilling out his story to this woman he just met. "Well... My ma's expectin' me to come home 'n tell 'er 'bout my college. Well... Ah kinda gave up halfway... Ah wasn't gettin' good grades, ah kept gettin' pushed around the other students, 'n just, I-it was too much fer me..." The woman stares. "Ah... I apologize..." She looked down at her lap and put her hands neatly together, staying quiet. "...I can understand how it's like. Being pushed around... The most I can tell you is not let it get to you... Fight back, if you must." Clayton sighed. "Ah wish it was that simple, Ma'am... But, ah don't enjoy conflict... A-Ah usually run from fights rather than git into 'em." He couldn't help but chuckle. "Ah never thought a gal like you would even consider fightin'." "What's that supposed to mean?" Her voice turned cold and hard rather quick, making him flinch. "Ah, n-nothin'- N-Nevermind..." This reaction caused the woman to let out a small "hm". She only had a smile for about a second, before returning to her emotionless state. Clayton wanted to try and make things less awkward, so he switched the topics. "S-So, uh... I see yer expectin'... Is it a boy or gal?" She looked at him. "I'm not sure... I wanted to keep it a secret. Sort of surprise myself, I guess..." "And who's the lucky fella, huh? Heheh, Ah'll guess he's real happy about bein' a dad, eh?" Uh oh. That earned a very negative look from the woman. She had a look that mixed between sadness and slight anger. "...He's dead." She said, looking away from Clayton. Fuck. That was a horrible question... Clayton was in disbelief and grief as he stared at her. "O-Oh... Oh my God, A-Ah'm so sorry, madam... I-I-" "It's fine. You didn't know." Clayton gulped, feeling real shitty. He didn't know, yeah but that didn't stop him from feeling God-awful about it. She looked at Clayton and put her hand on his knee to try and reassure him. "Really, it's fine... Don't beat yourself up over it." She finally gave a teeny smile to try and cheer him up. Clayton smiled back, feeling himself slowly feel a tiny bit better. "Say, uh... What's yer name, miss?" She stared at him, then told him her name. "Ah... That's a pretty name." He smiled. "And you?" "Clayton..." "Clayton? Man, the accent and the name are rather southern." He laughed quietly. "Yeah, Ah uh, My parents 're actually from Texas. They came over 'ere to visit me so Ah'm comin' over to the station to git 'em 'n bring 'em back." "That's nice... Have any siblings?" "Mhm. Ah got my lil' sis who's visitin' too. What about you?" "I have a slightly younger brother and sister. Both massive pains in my ass." She laughed. Clayton was slightly shocked at the language, but chuckled. "Yeahh... But, siblin's are meant to be that way. 'Specially lil' ones." "Ohh yes..." The two laughed and spoke to each other for the rest of the ride, sharing stories, laughing over jokes and

just overall having a nice time. There was even an instance she moved her hair, showing him her eyes. One was brown, the other was a green color. She laughed as Clayton was just in pure shock and awe about her eyes. Saying they were so 'cool' and 'pretty' even. The emotionless state she was in washed away and became much more lighter and full of joy. She was even amazed by the golden fang-like tooth in his mouth and he smiled big, making her chuckle more at the sight. The hours passed and it had gotten to their stop and the mysterious woman looked over. "Ah, already...? Shame... I was having a good time talking..." "Yeahh..." Clayton frowned. It was sad to leave his new friend. The two got up and walked out of the station, about to go their separate ways. The soon-to-be-mother looked at Clayton and smiled. "I'm sure we'll see each other again? Who knows, maybe one day we can talk over some coffee. My treat, yeah?" "Ah'd like that alot..." She smiled and gently hugged him, before walking away. Clayton saw his parents and little sister sitting at one of the benches outside. He ended up managing to push his fear aside for now and give a big grin, going over and hugging his family.

#my fics #madness combat #my art #sheriff #I just wanted to write some stuff abt past sheriff :3

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fandom-sheep · 3 years

Text

Fundy Dream SMP Chaos 01 APR 21

Delayed Liveblogging Part 1/1

I’m late cause I was on Wills stream.

He was laughing and complaining about not being able to burn things.

He’s happy he made a thing.

Oh no. Why is he tnting the castle and arsoning?

Why is Fundy causing problems on purpose?

Fundy honey please don’t break the holy land.

Oh it’s supposedly a fake server.

I need to read chat more to learn what is happening.

I guess I trust chat with fake smp?

OH WAIT! It’s April first!

I expected Fundy to prank us but I’m honestly too stupid for my own good sometimes.

Alright install hacks. Let’s go.

Chat has been burned before today.

Just casually looking at the reach mods.

The reason I don’t trust this is be a fake server is because he was on the real server earlier.

Fundy honestly might just be trying problems on purpose and it wouldn’t surprise me.

Sneaking under the half door! Oh wait never mind.

Oh no. Not memory dream stuff. Please your chat will cry.

Arson the Tommy house.

Arson the trees.

Oh an awesome old house.

Ah yes more tnt.

Fox boy has had quite the explosion obsession lately.

Upwards MLG. So talented.

I still don’t trust this not to be real. Because Fundy very well might explode things.

My dog is laying on my foot.

Lots of explosions.

Making more tnt nice.

Fundy gets banned arc! Let’s goooo.

Ok I want to see Fundy make this shot.

Explosion hour!

You can do it!

Chat is so divided between encouraging chaos and desperately hoping this is an April fools prank.

It’s still April first over there isn’t it?

1000% cannon

I love how Fundy understands that people do what they are told not to. So he tells them not to prime.

So close.

Come on! Explosion!

FOR THE PRIMES!

Yesssss!!!

MLG Fire. All the talent of this man.

I was so excited for Pokémon cards. But no face cam.

Wait don’t do Pokémon cards. We can’t see. 😢

Ah yes, Pokémon card asmr...

I wish I could see the cards. I love Pokémon cards.

I don’t know what some of these Pokémon he is vaguely describing are.

Oh wait! What was the last one???

Oooo what is it? What is it?

Rainbow glitter doesn’t limit it.

I could not understand that name. I can’t tell if it’s good.

Also Fundy. Time to look at this card.

Quit retaking the picture and just post it.

I swear he is enjoying toying with us.

We’re being shot while he’s trying to take a picture.

Ok time to check the bird site.

I have replied to the tweet with the requested phrase.

I don’t believe it’s worth a lot but it’s pretty.

Finally we’re done being stabbed by the skeleton.

Skeleton coming into close shot range.

Please don’t drown sir.

He’s comin’

Anyway back to causing problems.

Or you know back on memory lane...

Oh wait nevermind. Problems on purpose.

Really cool idea?

Another lovely ranged shot.

Aww. Didn’t quite make it.

Again didn’t quite make it.

Lazy way now.

“Eek” -Fundy

That’s one way to get revenge.

Chat keeping on calling for the death of Michael.

Casually sneaking into creative cause he’s out of tnt.

Tnt balloon launcher!

Oh Fundy planning on causing trouble at the other prison.

Tnt launcher let’s go.

Oh a being donated 100 lovely.

They deserve to have a tnt launcher named after them.

The chests being full has me suspicious but I still doubt the boy is truly causing problems on purpose.

Tnt launcher did not work.

L the streamer.

Oh Niki is going live on the smp. I suppose that’s one way we can find out if it’s the true smp.

Off they went. But it’s not accurate.

We’re just working with Fundy to cause trouble.

Nope. He just can’t do it.

Wow he’s flying like magic! (And covering that with tnt)

Making homemaker a bigger target isn’t going to work.

He’s gathering so many arrows.

Not a single one hit. Awesome looking but a lovely failure.

I tried to check on Nikis stream but the only thing that happened is I had to watch an ad to get back to Fundy.

Also Niki was hosting Minx. I missed her.

Awesome explosion Fundy.

Ah. Auto build.

Oh we auto built a bunch of signs. And none of them have the message.

Fungi grave. With diamonds. Lovely.

I am enjoying this even if I know better.

Ah. A lovely pile of tnt.

Poof!

Someone should have let Fundy have tnt sooner.

Casual flight.

I always love the music on Fundy’s streams. Just That lovely nostalgia.

Just piles of tnt by the hotel.

Chat is so panicked.

I don’t think most of them know it’s April first.

Oooo are we gambling?

Nope not gambling. But it did work gorgeously.

I’m not a griefing kind of person, but this does my heart good.

Enjoying problems.

“Oh what’s this place” adds tnt “gone” -Fundy

Come on chat people. Just encourage him. Quit saying check the date and that it’s a fake server. Just role with it.

Oh that was a very pretty explosion.

Exploded early but it worked (stupid egg bits)

A gorgeous sideways explosion.

We still aren’t destroying... oh wait. We are exploding. No sign.

No escape. But he survived. And the prime bell is still safe.

Castle explosion time.

I’m kinda sad about the castle I’ll admit. But I’ll still up for a good explosion.

Made the lil house and now he explodes things.

Chat blowing up the rainbow castle isn’t homophobic. Hush.

Oooo shaders. That’ll look pretty.

Cant wait to see the pretty screenshots the artists use.

Probably a back up. We’ll see.

Oh I’m also a bit sad about the museum. But you know. If we gotta explode things we gotta explode things.

I can’t wait to see the shaders with this.

Struggling to explosions.

Oh pretty. And the hotdog survives!!!

Cinematic. Beautiful.

Donos playing along saying he’ll be banned. Or donos just confused.

This boy truly pretending he hacked his way into creative on the smp.

Ok that was a pretty cinematic shot.

Holo mellons

Sniff raid! Lovely!

Also the person telling them to check out foolish’s stream. Hush. Let us worry people.

Oh did Fundy build the funky cube thing? I doubt but still.

Prison time.

Oh got to get the skeppy and bad house

And whatever that pit building is.

Everyone still talking about how it ain’t real. Quit it y’all. Come on. Join the joke.

Our dearest mods trying to keep everyone from spoiling it.

The prison is a really pretty build. And it does look explodable.

Explode the prison. Yes and 5up is hot is what are winning.

The no’s can’t catch up. It’s fire time.

You can tell the prank has failed, but it’s still good for the heart to see it explode. It is still a game after all as emotionally attached as we have gotten to it.

A small thing. A small explosive thing.

Everyone changing lag already.

Everyone already ready to fight Fundy if he were to blow up Michael.

Button time.

Oh we even have the cool undertake music.

And the cannon didn’t reach.

Auto build plus lots of tnt.

This is the grand finale of the prank I believe.

I might to go foolish after this. Get some chaotic building man.

Prime bell!!!

Poof and pop.

Oh that was pretty.

Wait... inner wall...

Well. Lore people take your notes on prison construction.

This knowledge will help you on your quest later.

Prison couldn’t even be broken by a fox with a tnt canon.

Phil Raid! Hooray!

Please be a real raid. I want the extra half hour of chaos.

Even though the fox should be yelled at to go to sleep.

Oh. Was it a real Phil raid? I half expected it not to be.

The chat is both confused and chilling.

You get that hype train rich people.

Walking around trying to pretend we haven’t been blowing everything up.

Casually walking around showing off his destruction.

It’s not even April first over theee anymore is it?

Ah. Yeah it is April fools joke.

Ah. Is Fundy actually coming clean about his stuff.

Ah no. He’s continuing to pretend nothing is happening.

Lots of tnt.

Gorgeous. Magnificent. Fantastic.

I love tnt particles for whatever reason. They always look so good.

That actually did a lot.

Yes join the fox discord! Yes follow the fox Twitter! I’ve already done both. I don’t really check either but still.

Showing off his explosions.

Oh we’re doing a reenactment.

Let’s gooo.

L’manhole v. 3 (4?)

Lots of tnt. Always good.

Oh. Oh no. It’s lagging bad.

The tnt. Isn’t going.

Ah now the true lag.

“Cool guys don’t have the frames to look at explosions” -Fundy

That was a good explosion. How deep did it go? No very probably.

TNT parkour! We love it!

That didn’t work but that was a nice explosion. Plenty of bedrock.

Good job with the hype train rich people.

We enjoy our streamer causing problems.

And the sign has changed again. You know the one. “You heart...”

Trying to fill the orb thing with tnt.

That was a very contained explosion.

Good explosion time.

Ok. We’re talking concrete replacement.

Blood vines exploding this early again.

Casually exploding the tiny Eret.

Everyone convincing him not to blow up the tiny Eret.

I love how those who watch one watch the other.

L’manburg yeah explode it. Eret? No.

Oh wait don’t look at the spoilers.

Secret Base Here.

Ahh. Blowing up his tower as well.

Nevermind. We like the tower.

Reasons. Mhm. Didn’t plan on that when he set this up. (In relation to snowchester)

Boy’s tnt penmanship is like that of a toddler.

Great explosions.

Oh we’re poofing the Targay next.

I love the two types of people. People like me, playing along, and the people who are panicking and praying it’s a copy.

Love the mods telling everyone it’s real.

Aww he died.

It’s ok. We respawned.

Defiantly cannon.

We don’t want it to be? That’s worrying for future lore.

But we’re not talking future lore. We’re doing therapy explosions.

Oh an ad. I didn’t get it. I won’t complain.

All the levels gone so sad. Not like they can spontaneously appear.

No. We aren’t going to snowchester. Too far away.

Where is the next level?

Random fire arrows???

Yes we are question marking.

Coder boy? Minecraft commands?

Run command?

Execute command?

He’s typing. I understand none of it.

Oh it’s peaceful.

There it goes.

Withers our favorite thing

Withers and chickens.

Oh. We stuck. We lagging bad.

Let me join the L group really fast.

The game crashed and now he’s trying again.

Wait all the damage reset?

Oh wait no we’re on the real smp now aren’t we!

Maybe not... we’ll see.

It never saved?

And here is the April Fools reveal.

Oh hooray sub goal and piano tunes!

Oh American roadtrip by Fundy!

That’ll be fun! It’ll be fun to see the vlogs and the like!

Raise that sub goal! Get that fun adventure!

It’ll be a month but it’ll be fun!

Ah he is telling them it was a real April fools steam.

But this is a cool idea! I hope the boy gets to come here on an adventure.

Why do many New York and New Jersey people? Also hooray 5up!

I hit the text block limit. Good song time! Banger tune time! Oh that’s neat! FundyJam! Another? I could make a part 2 to this instead of cramming, but that’s too much work. GOOD SONG GOOD STREAM! I love Fundy streams so much. Very therapeutic explosions. And the raid went through. 15TH FOR MAIN CHANNEL VIDEO!!!!

#fundy #april first #dream smp #kinda ish #it’s close enough #delayed liveblogging #spoilers #Fundy spoilers

15 notes · View notes

ydolanssss · 4 years

Text

A hood love story: G.D

Warnings: violence, sexual innuendos, a lot of cursing.

Pairing: Grayson Dolan X female reader.

Summary: bottom line is... remember where tf you came from.

-------------------------------------------------

Friday night lights.....most basic ass idea for a football game.

Just a whole shit-ton of rich ass white kids, acting like they hard when in actuality they have no awareness of anything outside of thier little gated community.

They weren't aware of the situation Grayson was in.

They either villainize him and where he's from, Or they romanticize where he's from. Either way they never talk to him.

They talk to ethan though, because unlike his brother he decided to just forget who he was and where he came from...that including his brother.

But you didn't think like them, you didn't treat people differently because of where they come from, or where they live. So you became friends with gray, best friends, and y'all were together all the time.

"hey gray you tryna go to the game today? You asked leaning on the locker next to his.

"there's a game?"

"yea against the cougars, you wanna go?"

"....mmm" gray never really went to any school event because well...he was kind of a loner, you didn't blame him tho.

"pleeeeeaaaseee, gray can we?" You asked with pleading eyes, and a quivering pouty lip.

"...fine"

"YESSIRRR, let's goo" you shouted, and skipped to class.

You went through the next couple of classes pretty quickly, went home, did some homework and waited for Grayson to come over.

"when you coming over hoe"

"I'm already outside, come on"

You run outside lock the door, hop in the car and head back to the school. The game had already started, but no one had scored yet. You and gray sit on the bleachers, and eat some popcorn.

"who you think finna win?" Gray said shoving food in his mouth. "I don't know, but prolly not our school, they haven't won a game in like...ever."

"true true" gray nodding in agreement untill his phone starts ringing. "Ayo hold up I gotta take this."

"hmm oh okay, I'll stay here" reassuring him. He walks to the back of the bleachers, "yo, wassup?"

*Anonymous* "Ayo when I see you, you getting lit tf up".

"Whoa, what? Who is this?" Gray asked confused as too who was tryna kill him.

"you know who this is lil bruh, it's daymen, oscars brother. You stole some shit from him the other day, and gave it to ya lil rich ass friends."

"what? Rich ass friends? Ion got no rich ass friends."

"okay okay, so you gon lie to me now huh?, Alright look, bring my lil brother his money or you getting lit tf up, and I take ya lil bitch for myself. You know the fine one, wit the braids."

"Don't you fuckin touch her."

Meanwhile you on the bleachers

"bitch what the fuck are you talking about?" Looking at claire and her lil posse.

"you know what I'm talking about, how long you been fucking my boyfriend."

"claire....who's your boyfriend?" You ask genuinely curious, because you do not keep tabs on miss bam-ba-lam-my-cars-a-hundred-grand.

"Grayson is duh." Because apperently that was common knowledge.

"g-grayson, Grayson Dolan the brother of Ethan Dolan, correct, just to make sure, Grayson with a "a" and a "o" not a I or a E. That Grayson?" Ya know...just to be clear.

"yes that Grayson, god are you dense?!"

"Oh no ma'am very much I am not, because the only grayson i know, don't fuck with bitches like you. Oh hell no, cuz yall don't fuck with people like him. And out of the mother fucking blue, he's your man, sweet-pea, i-is that what you telling me?" Because miss ma'am got you fucked alllll the way up.

"oh really how are you gonna tell me who I'm dating, I had sex with and who stole weed for me?" You pause....

"bruh what? Ugh now I know you tripping because Grayson don't fucking smo-"

"Aye, come on! Games boring anyway." Grayson yells from the bottom of the bleachers.

"alrighty well, miss. Thing I don't know what to tell you. Gods speed finding your Grayson because mine don't smoke." You picked up your things and walked with gray back to the car.

"hey what was the call about?" You asked

"huh? Oh it's was just my mom asking how long we were gonna stay at the game, I told her for the next hour so we could go do something else." He said.

You notice he kept looking around a lot, like he's was paranoid, waiting for something to happen.

"gray you good? You keep looking around, what's wrong?" You out ur hand on his shoulder concerned.

"huh?! Ohh nothing nothing let's go, come on"

He drags you to the car, and open the door for you, and he gets in the driver's side and drives off.

"ok I guess, um whatcha wanna do, wanna go to the park, or that on abandoned house that has a perfect view of the sunset, or ice cream, or ice cream and sunset. You looked at him, lip pouting head turn to the side, waiting for answer.

"uhh...ice cream only I wanna get you home okay?" He sighs, hands gripping the wheel tight as hell.

"umm what no I don't wan-"

"No! I have to get you home. I just, I just do, okay? Please I'm sorry for yelling come here." As you two pull in to the ice cream parlor's parking lot.

You lean in and he kisses you on your forehead, " I just need to be safe okay, it's late I don't want you out at night okay?"

"what? What do you mean I'm with you?"

He walks to your side of the car to open the door, "I know but....you cant be around me now at night at least it's not safe." After you get out he walks to the counter and tells you the get a table, you stand puzzled for a bit but you go anyway.

when he gets back with two oreo milkshakes, you ask him, "gray wait why isn't it safe? Why can't I be around you? What going on?." You ask frantic, worried your friend is in some sort of trouble.

"just because you can't don't- who is that?"

He asks leaned down a little.

"who is who? You turn around, and see a car speeding towards you both." Gray grabs your arm and pulls you down.

"GET DOWN! GO RUN BACK TO THE CAR!"

You do, you get to the car get inside and lean down, then you hear gun shots fire.

*bow bow bow bow*

The car skids off and everything is quiet, you look up and you see Grayson laid out on the ground. "oh my god...".

You get out hesitantly walking towards his body, "g-gray...baby, please oh God please no, god don't tell me he's gone" tears streaming down your face, you can't bare to walk any closer, and you drop to your knees and sob.

"no..please not my best friend." As the smoke clears you say this, the sun is setting in the background, it's a somber feeling somehow you feel safe and sad at the same time, while in that same moment your best friend, very much could be breathing his last breaths.

Then, like the miracle baby he is, Grayson wakes up, with a hell of pain in his shoulder. "Wha-? Ohh fuck my shoulder, holy shit, wait where's? Hey, hey, pretty girl why you crying?" He asks litterally sitting up looking at you holding his shoulder.

You stop crying, eyes shoot open. "Wha- GRAY!!" you run over and hug him, crying.

"i-i thought you were dead, *sniff* you were-*sniff* laying there not moving." Say sobbing into his shoulder.

He holds you with his good arm, "shh shh, it's ok, I'm not dead baby, I'm right here, I'm bleeding out of my shoulder and I should probably go to the hospital, but im not dead." His head sitting on top of yours

"oh shit, yea okay let's go." You help him to the car and start driving, you drop him off at the hospital and tell him you're gonna go take care of something.

You get back in your car and drive to a harbor, you then park and start disassembling his gun.

"god...I don't even know why he has this thing, granted he did get shot at but for fucks sake." You mumbled to yourself.

You speed back to the hospital,the doctors tell you he already out of surgery and he's doing fine, and they tell you his room number.

You walk back to his room. "Hey...Grayson baby, you okay?" You whisper not wanting to scare him.

"hmm? Oh yea hey come in." He's sitting up in bed both of his arms in slings. "Can you do me a favors and grab my juice box?"

You look on his tray and there's a little apple juice, juice box on it. "Oh yea sure sweetie." You poke the straw through the hole and hold it up to his mouth.

"Thank you."

"your welcome lovie." The doctor came in. "Ah, I see your already on it, that's good, very sweet of you." You look at him confused.

"um care to explain sir, or am I slow."

He chuckles, "my apologies, um since your friend, I'm assuming has two bad shoulder that have made him unable to move his arms at all he will need around the clock assistance."

You set down the juice box that he basically breathed in. "What do you mean both shoulders I thought he only got shot in one?"

"oh he did but his other shoulder is slightly sprained it's should heal up in a around 2 and a half weeks, while the other shoulder should take at most 4, but normally three. So due to his situation, his arm mobility is hindered untill a later date." He says with his arms crossed over his clip board.

You sit next to gray and look at him, "well I'm down, it's not like we don't spend every single second with each anyway." Gray laughs, "yea I guess thats true."

The doctors clear him and you help him get dressed but since it was late you threw a hoodie on him since there was no use for the sleeves.

You both get in the car and drive to your house, "come on gray we gotta get you to sleep." You tap and rub his tummy to wake him.

You get him up and walk up stairs to your bathroom. "Ok lemme brush your teeth." You sit on the sink and brush for him.

"okay that's done. Um alright it's 2 am ur tired I'm tired we can do the rest tomorrow okay?" You ask Grayson who's barley keeping his eyes open. "Okayyy." He says yawning.

"all right let's go to bed." You walk him over to the side of the bed and help him sit down.

" all right be careful and don't drop all the way down be careful not to lose your- oh fuck!"

You both lost your balance and fell on the bed, your on top of him millimeters away from his face. You never really looked at Grayson that way, never really looked at his eyes, dark as the ocean pulling you deeper and deeper to the point where you don't care if you drown.

Or his lips, they look so soft and smooth, if you were to kiss them it would feel like silk pillows. His lips..."oh fuck his lips."

Grayson catches your eyes staring at his lips and he sits up. "My lips baby, hmm that what you want?" You both sitting up on the bed. "Where? Your neck, cheek?" He drags his nose up the side of your neck to your ear.

"or that pretty little pussy?"

You gasp and get up off of him. "Um okay time to go to bed for real this time. Uh you good? you okay? Need any thing?"

"uh nah, nah I'm good. I guess...I'm laying flat then?" You turn to look at him.

"um yea I think that would be best."

You both start to relax and go to sleep.

"hey gray? I gotta ask you something, you know what's up with clair because she came up to me claiming I'm fucking her boyfriend, who's apperently you and also you stole some weed for her and that just dosent make sense to me."

He jerks his head to look at you "wait what!? When?"

"when you left to answer the phone she said your her boyfriend and she would know the person's she's been fucking and the guy who stole weed for her."

"so that's why- ughh fucking ethan."

"what? What about him? And what was that phone call about?"

He sighed "okay so I got a phone call from this guy named daemin, and I guess he thinks I stole weed from his little brother oscar, and I guess he's been watching me or something he said if I don't get his money he'll light my ass up and he'd go for my lil bitch himself, the one with the braids."

"oh shit so it was Ethan who stole the weed and prolly gave that guy your number, and prolly claimed he was you...now what the fuck wrong with claire?"

"Claire don't know that theres two of us and she don't talk to people he's friends with so he probably lied to her to."

Laying there in shock you think to yourself. "What kinda fucked up shit you got going on to lie about your whole identity and pretend to be your twin brother that you treat like shit?"

"ion know ask him."

You said it outloud.... again. "Oh shit my bad. But I will actually."

"what? No don't-"

"no gray this shit is crazy. YOU GOT SHOT! I'm not gonna let him get away with that shit gray! Now go to bed."

He sighs and closes his eyes.

——————————————————————

Next morning comes around. You wake up early to make grays' breakfast. A protein shake with some greek yogurt mixed with fruit.

You go back upstairs and he's awake.

"hey boo sorry to keep you waiting. I was making your breakfast. Need help?"

"yeth please."

"okay silly, sit up, legs out, and stand up on three okay? One, two, three...theeeere we go."

You walk over to the bathroom. Brush his teeth, wash his face and...help him pee.

"okay so how do you wanna do this gray?"

"umm you could hold it? If you wanna."

"seriously grayson. But that's like-"

"look your gonna have to bathe me at one point within these three weeks so like might as well get used to it."

"mm true, gosh okay."

You pull his pants down quickly trying to get this over with as soon as possible.

"okay so do I just like h-hold it or something? Or like do I just let it hang there?"

"no no you got to hold it bro otherwise I'll piss on myself then you have to change my pants and my underwear and wipe my legs down."

"ewww... Okay okay I guess this is better. Um sorry if my hands are cold."

"your all good."

"speaking of shower, let's just get that out the way because you haven't showered in a brick."

He sighs "alright"

You help him get his clothes off and turn on the shower.

"alright hop in big dic- oop- I mean big head." You giggle to yourself.

"ouu ok baby, oh and just for pure curiosity, which head?"

You slowly turn to him. "The one that made you think of that dumbass question, goofy get in, naughty ass."

"okay! Okay! Shit you the naughty one." Said with a smirk followed by a failed and painful attempt to slap your ass.

"ow! Ow! Fuck my shoulder!"

"and that's what ya get, hop in." You say giving him a pinch on the ass.

"what a nice butt, good for you!"

"thank you queen." He smiles

"your welcome king." And proceed to bathe him

-------------------------------------------------

A couple hours later you left Grayson at home with him and a tv and left out all the snacks on the counter at a reachable level, whole you went out and....handle some business.

On the phone: "hey, meet me at the bleachers okay I need to talk to you about something."

"uh yea sure I'll be there."

A couple hours later, your sitting on the bleachers with the cold New Jersey air, causing your nose to become ice cold.

"hey." You jumped.

"oh shit! Oh hey sorry you scared me."

"ha, yea um sorry about that, so what did you wanna talk about?"

Now to most that seems like a very obvious question, it'd go something like 'hey why the fuck did you lie about your identity and completely drop your twin fucking brother'. Right? No.

The problem is you and Ethan have history, which also adds to the reason why your a lot closer to gray than Ethan and was like the breaking point of Ethan and Grayson relationship.

Basically in freshman year of highschool you and Ethan....dated?? Well no you did date but...it was shorted lived because he decided to cheat...on you. Crazy right? I know. And you'll never guess who he cheated on you with.....Claire!!! Isn't that amazing, what a coincidence.

So the day you found out was kinda intense.....

"What is wrong with you!"

"Why would you do that to her!"

"As long as we've know her!"

"Huh Ethan! What's the matter with you! Who raised you! It wasn't ma! I most definitely wasn't dad!"

Grayson being the lovely, kind, understanding soul that he is decided to give Ethan a piece of his mind after consoling you in the living room.

"Jesus Grayson! It wasn't even that bad!"

With his hands on his hips, mouth ajar and eyes bugging out of his head.

"you've gotta be shitting me. You made out with the bitch ON SNAPCHAT! THEY GOT YOU IN 4K BRO! What do you mean it isn't that bad!"

"look why does it bother you so much? Like it's not your relationship. It's mine."

"Because your my brother and I love you and I love her to, I want her to be loved and appreciated the way she deserves, and I expected better from you, I never thought, my brother, a fucking scumbag of a man. Had the audacity to cheat on his girl. I guess I stand fucking corrected."

They sit in silence for a while. Your in the living room nervous because you've seen them fight of course but, never this heated.

"well if you love so damn much you be with her, I don't fucking want her if there's gonna be this much drama."

Time for you to get angry.

"First of all motherfucker you cheated! Don't you fucking switch this around on me."

Grayson stands in front of you, tear filling your eyes by the gallons.

"I fuckin loved you....so much, so hard...I did. And this what you fucking do...this the last time I love someone as much as I loved you."

And with that you stormed out. Grayson followed disgusted with his brother.

--------

"....so what did you wanna talk about."

You snap back into reality.

"umm well one your fucking brother was shot!"

He jumps back. "What?! Was he really? When by who?"

"a few days ago. most likely by a guy named oscar...who shot him because apparently, Grayson 'sober4L' Dolan™, stole weed from him. Now the only people in this damn highschool that smoke are those rich ass kids you hang out with, and gray got a phone call about this whole situation and claimed that if he didn't get his money or the weed back, he was gonna shoot up him and take his lil girlfriend, 'the one with the braids'."

He rocks back and forth anxiously, knowing he was caught.

"and of course the only girl he's around with braids is me."

"okay look i-"

"Aht aht wait, I'm not done."

"because at the same time grayson was on the phone I had and interaction with the lovely ms.claire. She claimed I was 'fucking her boyfriend' and I asked who and she said 'grayson the one who stole weed for me'."

He puts his head in his hands.

"so now I'm looking at her like she dumb because we both know Grayson dosent smoke, so a couple hours later I ask grayson about the situation and then he tells me about the phone call, so we put two and two together."

"so gray got a call from someone claiming he stole thier weed, claire your lovely girlfriend enlightened me on the fact that I was sleeping with her boyfriend, who stole weed for her. Knowing Grayson is neither dating her or smokes. So who on earth, could have Grayson's number, steal Grayson name and identity and create a whole new fucking life. Oh hmm let's start with the fuck-amato who made the fuck sure no one knew he was a twin and also dates the girl that my ex boyfriend cheated on me with...who just so happens to be the fucking twin. what do you have to say for yourself?"

There is a pause between you and him.

"umm....I'm sorry."

"y-your sorry....SORRY YA BROTHER GOT SHOT AND ITS ALL YOUR- you know what here what we're gonna do."

You pull out your phone and you had saved daemin's number.

"you are gonna call oscar and tell him the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and tell him you'll get his lil cousin his money back okay?" Because if not I will..."

"okay, okay, call him."

You call and the phone starts ringing. He picks up.

"hello?"

"hey daemin I have the actual guy you wanted to shoot at and damn near kill"

"word? Who is it then?"

"his twin brother."

"ohhhh shit. Aw damn aye is gray good man I feel like shit he didn't deserve this."

"he's fine but his brother ethan, on the other hand is the guy you should've got, but look since I don't want both of them shot the fuck up he is gonna over there and hand you the money okay?"

"shit alright"

You end the phone call and he sends you the address.

"alright let's go."

-------------------------------------------------

You and Ethan pull up to daemin's house.

"look when we get in here don't say shit give him the fckn money and don't say shit."

"alright alright"

You walk towards the door and knock on it. It's opens and there stands a guy around Ethan's height.

"um hi are you daemin?"

"yea that me, you got my money?"

"oh yea we do, Ethan give it to him"

He pulls 85 dollars out of his pocket

"here you go man, um sorry for-"

The door slammed in our faces.

"umm I guess that it-"

"how's Graysons shoulder?"

"oh it's good it's getting better I gotta get back to him though, he can't do everything by himself."

"alright cool I just wanted to make sure, does he need anything like I got bandages and a first aid."

"oh no no its fine my mom's a nurse I got all the stuff I need thank you though."

"alright bye drive safe"

"okay thank you!"

You and Ethan get back to the car.

Ethan turns to you. "Um he's nicer than expected."

"yea...um okay, I'm gonna take you back home. "

"yup okay sounds cool. "

The drive to Ethan's was awkward and quiet. He still stayed at him and Graysons childhood home. You haven't been there in years.

"well here we are. God it still looks the same."

"yea hasn't changed since the last time you've been here."

You turn to look at him.

"alrighty well- mphm"

Ethan kisses you holding the side of your face.

"I miss you. I do. I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you. You didn't deserve that, I took you for granted. Please give me another chance."

Your in shock to say the least. Staring at him in disbelief.

"...no Ethan."

"what? What do you mean?!"

"I mean no, I'm not going to go back to you I don't feel that way about you. And honestly once a cheater always a cheater, I just can't give myself back to the same person that changed me emotionally, to where it's hard for me to love people as much as I used to. Like what you do if I cheated on you, would you come back to me? And be honest with yourself."

He moves his hand.

"...no"

"exactly...so don't expect me to be the same. Goodbye Ethan."

He gets out and goes inside and you drive back to your place.

-------------------------------------------------

You come back home Grayson in the living room, on the couch.

You sit next to him and talk to him about what happened, he was worried and frustrated at first with the fact that you went but understood it was your life at risk to. A couple of weeks pass, Graysons wound is fixed and you guys are let out for winter break.

Spending time with Grayson made you realize, what you deserved in a relationship, the love, appreciation, affection, loyalty. All of it, you deserved it.

And you got it, you and Graysons infatuation with one another, grew bigger and bigger over winter break. The Christmas vibes, sleeping in onesies and making cookies. Making love next to the fire place, trails of kisses going down both his and your body.

Afterwords..."hey Grayson? Can I ask you something."

"of course beautiful what is it?"

"how would you feel if we went back to school, ya know together?"

"when were we going separately?"

"nooo silly like together, a thing, an "item". We go back in a relationship. If that's something you want?"

"Are fucking joking! Of course I would baby. God, I've been waiting." And with that you finally found the love of your life, whom which in the future you had your two twin daughters with. Inez and Felicity.

You've never been so content.

#gray #grayson dolan #grayson and ethan #grayson #love story #ethan dolan #bw #dolan twins

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iamtheempress · 4 years

Text

A Vegeta x OC Fanfiction (part 2)¤ ¤ ¤

The morning came with silence and silence came with Raditz banging on Calamatta’s pod.

“Wake up! we need to get our pods to the ship in the upper atmosphere then we start the terraforming process! Got it?” SHe stretches and gives the long haired Saiyan a lazy thumbs up. Confirming she heard him loud and clear. Rubbing her eyes she punched in the coordinates to the ship and off the four pods flew to the ship in the higher atmosphere, slotting their pods into the mothership.

The four took their time to leave 2 by 2 to the planet and scour the planet to completely terraform it, with expertise and precision. Cracking open the planet enough to let the oceans flow forth, for several hours they did this until they returned to the ship. Calamatta entered the ship last and was greeted with a crisp clap to the back from Nappa. “Good job, lil lady!” He bellowed as she rubbed the back of her head. “T-thanks Nappa, now im just worried.”

Raditz raised his hand and shook his head, “Ahhh calm down, we're going to give him an honest review of you then you will be moved to our quarters, you get your first pay and then you should be good. Settle down.” He brushes past her and makes his way to Frieza’s Hall. Vegeta followed behind, throwing a glance at the female Saiyan as she sat on a chair, he can tell she was nervous by the frequency of her bouncing leg. They didnt like bending to Frieza’s whim, but they werent about to just go against him out right.. And with one more saiyan with them to train and get stronger they could be unstoppable. Its just the matter of pandering to Lord Frieza until then and making sure they dont get killed.

Lord Friezas chambers had only Zarbon blocking their way, the annoying green haired former prince with no shame. Dodoria, the brainless ruffian was nowhere in sight. “Monkeys.. Im assuming its about the release of Friezas little ape?” Zarbon said very condescendingly to the three, very annoyed Saiyans. Vegeta tightened his fist and grit his teeth at the comparison to apes so blatantly to his face.

“Zarbon thats quite enough. Ive been expecting them.” Friezas voice piped up waving the three Saiyans in. “Y-yes, Lord Frieza.” He obeyed and moved out of their ways. “You are excused Zarbon, your services arent needed this evening.” Frieza rotated fully in his seat and swirled a full goblet of wine within it.

The three took bended knee to Frieza begrudgingly and raised up at the same time. “Were here to confirm our Terraforming a rousing success.” Frieza smirked and paid attention to Nappa. “Indeed. It was to be a 4 to 5 day excursion and you done it in 2 and a half days? My my, you 4 are persistent!” He chided and pointed to Nappa first. Everyone is fully aware of Frieza’s death beam so Nappa winced. Causing Frieza to visibly inflate like an egomaniac. “Now what is your report about my favorite little monkey, Ms. Calamatta” He sipped his wine and let it hover mid air rotating it and lacing his fingers together and letting his long worm like tail wag lightly. Nappa took one step forward and spoke up, light sweat on his brow as he made eye contact with deadly bright vermillion eyes.

“Calamatta’s first time out with primary race extermination was exquisite. Effective and heartless. If she continues with us you should expect the same, Lord Frieza!” He did a full bow and stepped back for Raditz, The long haired teenage Saiyan cleared his voice and spoke up, starting with an embarrassing voice crack. “She took orders for sequences of events and how to lay waist to entire cities fairly quickly. I'd prefer her with us simply because she has a job to do and she seems to enjoy it.” Frieza slowly nods, eyes closed and speaks softly. “Mhmm. mmhmmm. You two are dismissed. Vegeta… you stay.”

Frieza took his goblet and took a sip from it as the Prince narrowed his eyes and approached, puffing up his chest. “What do you think about the pretty little simian? Shes quite interesting… obedient and has grown to be a lovely young woman, shapely i think your repugnant species would call her... You are aware her father appointed her to me when she was a child, I'd assume Vegeta…?” He lets the wine glass levitate again, Vegeta stood with his arms crossed and brow raised. “Yes, Im aware...What is this about.” Frieza clicked his nails about on his seat and smiled softly.

“Her father did not trust his only daughter with the likes of the Kings eldest boy… Not after their fight… so she was appointed as my little monkey butler, a nice little piece of arm candy… if only she wasnt a Saiyan. Anyway… Enough with my little flights of fantasy…” He gestured to the confused Saiyan Prince, his lips lined straight and unmoving. “About Calamatta… How was she.. Your word I take higher then anyone else.” He preened upon saying her name, it was borderline perverted but with a sinister meaning behind it.

“Shes the missed opportunity id like to get my hands on. A perfect Saiyan through and through. If she werent by your side so often id have taken her by my side YEARS ago, Frieza…” He stated as a matter of factly, Friezas dark little smile returned “How disgustingly romantic... Zarbon! Summon Calamatta for me.” He snaps his fingers and trot like tapping faded down the hallway. Zarbon was waiting outside, like a good little brainless lackey.

Calamatta was tapping on the table she waited at, tail flicking nervously about behind her. She was snapped from her stupor of nervous leg bouncing and hair twirling to Zarbon slapping his hand down firm onto the table. “Calamatta, Lord Frieza is requesting your return asap.” SHe nodded and fixed her hair abit standing up and wrapping her tail around her waist. Shes known Zarbon longer then shes known Dodoria.

The kinship Zarbon developed for her was astounding, a favorable friendship when she felt immense discomfort in her teens on. It weirds her out and flatters her nonetheless. “Yes, Zarbon.. Right away.” She walks along side Zarbon and even passes Nappa and Raditz on their way back. “Ill have you know for the duration of time that I have known you; you are not like the others… youre charismatic and maybe the most tolerable, of the 4 of you...your still nothing more than a monkey butler though.” She sneered and returned her gaze fixed forward, down then away. The moment she turned the corner she went wide eyed to see Vegeta.

She stopped in her tracks and was given a push from Zarbon, Frieza chirped upon her entry. “Welcome back, Calamatta! I have some good news for you…” “Lord Frieza..” She bowed at the waist obediently she stood next to Vegeta and Zarbon once again excused himself.

“I trust that your first day terraforming was a success and that you had a splendid time, did you dear?” Calamatta stood up straight and let her tail unwind from her waist. “Y-Yes! I actually liked it alot!” She chirped and gulped abit, Vegeta scoffed and closed his eyes, only for Frieza to speak. “Oh, well you are not out of the woods yet my dear...no no.. You have one more task to prove to me before i let you do anything with the male populace for you to shake your pretty little tail at.”

He makes a face and a screen pops up on the window behind him. A massive green, blue and red planet popped up on the screen encircled by 2 rings and 2 moons. “You and Vegeta are to Terraform this planet on your own. I will give you a month to do it because this planet has highly hostile inhabitants.” Vegetas eyes snapped open and stared at the planet then to frieza. “You cant be serious? Why not just send me on my own then i can do it 3 weeks without the likes of a newbie.. No offence Calamatta but its just facts.” He crossed his arms. “Do this the both of you for me in a months worth of time and your pretty little primate will be out of my hands and in yours. Indefinitely. But if not i will be forced to use my own hand… and you dont want that Vegeta..” He grinned widely. His pointer finger extended toward the female Saiyan and she gulped upon seeing the beam charge at the tip of his digit.

Vegeta stepped infront of the female Saiyan and narrowed his eyes, his move was more instinctual than out of emotion. Calamatta never thought the prince would ever put himself in a position like this but here he was, his solid back to her front she peaked over his caped shoulder and looked at the tyrant who tilted his head. "Hehehe.. it seems ive struck a chord in you Vegeta.." "Not at all.. she's done nothing for you to raise that finger at her. I've made the decision and well go…" he clenches his fists, the material of his gloves made a noise. Calamatta could feel the princes frustration from how close he was to her… "to that planet… and well wipe it before the month even finishes.."

Frieza chuckled, "Good… i know you will fulfill your promise.. Calamatta you stay, dear.. Vegeta…" Calamatta straightened her back and tightened her tail around her waist. "You are dismissed.. i have a few things to discuss with her." Vegeta turned around and made eye contact with Calamatta, with a pitiful look in his eye.. like he knew she shouldn't be in this situation. "Bye, Vegeta." She said softly, causing the Emperor to briefly narrow his eyes, she kept her head forward. Vegeta said nothing as the door slid shut behind her. Leaving without a word and kind of making her heart sink abit. He grit his teeth and stormed down the hallway to a perplexed Raditz and Nappa.

“Calamatta, come little primate.” Frieza beckoned to her and snapped for one of his little cronies to bring something to him. Folded up in the hands of Dodoria himself. “Hello little Matta, hope you enjoy this little costume change.” She nodded to him and took the body suit and armor. “When would i expect to go to this planet?” SHe tilted her head and held the new suit, noticing theres not much too it, which made her really wary. “Ah ah, first things first alittle bit of information is more useful about the planet then when you and the simian prince will go.” Frieza quips looking at his shiny black claws. “The planets name is To-Rot, it is a giant habitable planet that im sure would be able to line your pockets quite nicely.”

Dodoria crossed his arms and quirked a brow at her, “Lord Frieza told you about the type of inhabitants to that planet right? Its not a walk in the park and I certainly wouldnt go alone... “ Calamatta gulped. “Now now, Dodoria. Do not frighten the girl. Who knows she could be the best of the 4 remaining Saiyans. We will see..” He gets out of his pod like seat and uses his tail to tip her chin up, a small smirk still playing on his lips.

“Run along and change and you may turn in for the evening… you both leave in 20 hours, when we arrive to the nearest solar system. From there you and Vegeta will go To-Rot.” Frieza chuckles to himself. “Fitting name dont you think? Ohohohohohoooo !!” He laughs and Calamatta turns and bows walking back to the saiyan chambers to change.

¤ ¤ ¤

Tags: @memevember @dragonblobz @gonuclear @msgreenverse @fallen--lilith @jimbobslurpnchug @dragonballzforlife @nikabriefs @lilhemmo @lizardhipsdontlie @hierophantblue @supremeleadershitlord @thotful-writing @chickiedinner @anti-jaina @dragonball-hcs-or-sum-shit

#A Planet To Conquer Fic #vegeta #Calamatta~#dbz fanfiction #Pre Saiyan Saga #Frieza

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stomachflu · 4 years

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Ooo, for c//ritical r//oll concept, something with sick Mollymauk? Maybe he's got a really bad stomach flu but is covering it super well with his usual showmanship. He's gotten used to taking care of himself and not showing weakness while on the road-- cant miss a performance for a lil bug. Pretends to be totally fine until he crashes, cue the rest of the m9 taking care of him? Bonus for belly rubs and drawn out nausea.

🚫don’t rb to non-sickfic/emeto/kink blogs, thanks!🚫

thank you so much for this really good prompt! i’ve been working on this for a REALLY LONG TIME but cr//itical r/-/oll has become one of my new fave interests so i enjoyed writing this a lot!

have over 5k of nausea buildup, multiple puking sessions, and caretaking!

(i only realized after writing this fic that not only does jester not have the cure illness spell, but it’s not even a spell in dnd 5e, and i’m thinking of a similar spell from my 3.5e campaign. whoops! there’s probably a lot more errors in here due to me being new to the show, so please be nice to me and ignore them! ^_^)

Molly certainly hadn't objected to taking shelter out of the storm, but the town was small, with only a few small rooms in their only inn, and not much in the way of entertainment, so by all means, he should've been more than happy to be moving on as soon as the rain passed.

The thing was, he had definitely picked up something in that weather. He'd spent most of the previous day huddled in blankets, trying to rid himself of the chills that racked his body. He was lucky that they'd had enough money for four rooms this time, luckier still that Beau and Jester were still insistent upon rooming together, and Caleb and Nott were stuck like glue, leaving him and Fjord with separate rooms. Molly had to make appearances at mealtimes, of course, but he'd put on a good show then, mustering up enough energy to entertain the room with simple tricks – disappearing coins and such.

Molly had hoped that it was just a momentary illness, that it would pass in time, but when he'd woken up burning with fever, he knew he was in it for the long haul. He felt terrible, hot and cold at the same time, aching down to his very bones. It hurt to swallow, but he needed energy if he was going to beat this, so he choked down breakfast as quickly as possible.

The sky was clear now, not a cloud in sight, and they needed to be moving on. The group didn't have time to waste on a cold – Molly was no use bedridden, and, besides, there was nothing that would cure him but time. Jester needed her spells, and it wasn't like he wouldn't have plenty of time to rest in the cart.

Once they jerked into motion, though, Molly quickly realized that he'd made a mistake. He had eaten breakfast with everyone else, and his stomach was not happy with that decision. He took deep breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying to concentrate on something other than his suddenly-churning gut.

Probably motion sickness. Traveling had never made him ill before, but there was a first time for anything. If he had to guess, it probably had to do with how dizzy he was – having the world spin around him while he was jostled back and forth? That would make anyone queasy. What was it that people always said? Something about focusing on the horizon, but that just made him feel more queasy.

Fjord had the reigns, with Caleb keeping watch next to him, so Molly snuck a glance at the rest of the group – Nott and Beau in an animated conversation, Jester with her sketchbook – and risked placing a hand on his tender belly, rubbing it gently. He swallowed back a burp, grimacing as the pressure in his stomach only increased.

The sun was still high in the sky, and Molly needed a distraction from what was quickly becoming nausea, so he spread out his cards in front of him, shuffling through his deck.

"Ooh!" Jester exclaimed, bouncing into a sitting position across from him. "Do a reading for me, please?"

Despite himself, Molly smiled. With his view of the horizon blocked, he did feel a little better. Perhaps it was simply motion sickness after all.

"Alright, cut the deck for me – good. Now, two more times..."

Molly's momentary relief didn't last long. He did a reading for Jester, and then one for Beau. By the time Nott asked, he was certain his fever was up, sweat beading on his forehead, so he feigned exhaustion and put the cards away.

His stomach hurt. It was an on-and-off kind of pain, the cramps coming in intervals, leaving him shivering with chills each time. Maybe it's simply hunger, Molly thought, fishing out some strips of dried jerky out of his bag and gnawing on them absently. At any rate, he needed to eat to get over this illness, but putting food in his mouth, but swallowing it down just made him more nauseous.

He needed to throw up.

The thought struck Molly at the same. time that a wave of nausea washed over him, and he swallowed hard. Not right now, not this moment, but at some point in the near future, he was going to vomit.

The cart pulled off to the side of the road, jostling Molly's sick stomach and forcing a soft burp up his throat.

"Alright," Fjord said, hopping down from his position at the reins. "Short break to feed and water the horses, but 's about all I got in me. Anyone else wanna drive?" A beat in which nobody else answered, and he repeated, "Anyone...?"

"Fuck it, fine, I'll do it," Beau grumbled.

"If we are to be switching positions, is there anyone else who would like to take watch?" Caleb asked.

Molly slowly slid out of the cart, his hot, aching joints protesting every movement.

"I volunteer," he said. Maybe the fresh air would help. Already, he felt a bit better, standing in the open air like this.

That was settled, then. Fjord and Nott went about taking care of the horses, and the others took their time walking about, stretching or disappearing into the woods bordering either side of the road to relieve themselves.

Molly was glad for the thick cover of trees – the second he was out of sight of the cart, he clutched his belly with both hands, bending over at the waist. The pressure helped, but his stomach was still churning. He felt awful, knew that he needed to throw up now if he was going to keep up appearances.

Molly traipsed a little further into the underbrush, determined to keep out of earshot of the others, and... waited. He was nauseous, yes, but not nearly to the degree that he had been when he was sitting in the back of the cart.

Come on, puke already, he thought. Absentmindedly, he reached underneath his shirt to rub his stomach, the taut skin hot with fever under his palm. Almost immediately, a gurgling burp shot up his throat, and he leaned forward expectantly.

Saliva flooded into his mouth, and Molly spit onto the dirt, throat tightening in a gag. A sick belch brought up a thin mouthful of foamy bile, and he retched again and again as the liquid pattered onto the dirt.

He didn't bring anything else up, though he remained bent over at the waist. Molly knew he couldn't stay here forever – he was already pushing the limits of what the others would believe, had his excuse of needing privacy to relieve himself been true. Anyways, his stomach felt... not good, not even better, but he wasn't on the verge of puking anymore. Maybe he could make it 'till nightfall.

As he traipsed back towards the cart, he suddenly realized why nobody had gone looking for him, why his absence had gone unnoticed. Standing in a circle around Fjord and Nott were a group of bandits, weapons drawn. Molly was too far away to tell, but by their gestures, he would have bet that they were demanding the cart, and everything on it.

Sighing, he drew his swords. It was going to be a long day.

They made quick work of the bandits, dispatching their leader and sending the others running into the woods, pursued by a few of Nott's arrows. It had been a good thing that Molly hadn't asked Jester for a healing spell earlier, though, because Fjord had taken a heavy blow to the chest, and Jester used almost all of her spell slots healing him.

And so they were back on their way, with Molly perched at the front of the cart, acting as lookout. The crisp air was helping a bit – he felt less foggy, like his head wasn't quite so stuffed with cotton. His stomach, however...

Right on cue, his stomach gurgled, and Molly winced, pressing a hand to his midsection. He could feel it bubbling under his skin, everything he'd eaten churning around in there.

Oh. Oh no. A cold sweat washed over his body, and Molly swallowed back the taste of bile.

"Beau?" he asked, swallowing back a belch.

"Yeah?" She wasn't even looking at him, so he allowed himself to press three fingers to his mouth, muffling another queasy burp.

"Would you mind stopping for a moment? I need to, ah – you know, relieve myself."

"Again? We just fucking stopped," Beau grumbled, but she dutifully pulled the horses over to the side of the road anyways, and Molly gratefully slid off of the cart, walking into the treeline as fast as his queasy belly would allow him.

He was gagging before he even came to a stop, a thin trickle of vomit splashing onto the leaves at his feet. He belched up a thick mouthful of undigested food, and then he couldn't stop burping, the sight of his pale vomit on the dark leaves making him more and more nauseous.

Calm down, Molly willed his stomach. He needed to stop puking, he needed to get his churning guts under control and –

Another sickly gag, and Molly managed a mouthful of watery puke. He hovered there for almost a full minute, mouth slightly open, too queasy to even wipe away the thick ropes of saliva trickling from his lips to the ground.

Was that it? He didn't feel done. If anything, his stomach was more bloated than ever, and he didn't feel any less nauseous, but, yet again, he couldn't stay here.

"Done?" Beau asked, hopping back up onto the cart as he approached. Molly took a more careful method, gingerly leveraging himself up so that he wouldn't have to bend over, keeping one hand under the small bloat of his gurgling stomach. It didn't do much, but the illusion of supporting his belly, keeping it from being jostled – it almost convinced him to feel less queasy.

"My apologies," he said simply, muffling a nauseous burp into his fist.

Beau looked at him strangely but only shook her head, taking the reins in hand. "Let's get this show on the fuckin' road!"

He had made a mistake. Molly knew this from the moment the cart jolted to life. Not only was he not done being sick, but the motion was too much to handle. A gag rose up in his throat, and he risked the motion of pressing the back of his hand to his lips as he rode it out. His mouth filled with vomit, and he swallowed it back with effort, and then kept swallowing, throat hitching in an attempt to heave.

Molly sat as still as possible, arms wrapped around his stomach, not even trusting himself to raise his head. The cart hit a particularly bad dip in the road, and his tongue arched in a gag, and he could taste bile on his tongue, and –

"Shit, Beau, pull over," he managed tightly, his throat closing in on a gag. She protested, probably about to make a terrible joke, and then he retched, and she looked over at him in alarm.

She'd yanked the horses over to the side of the road, but he was vomiting over the side of cart before it even came to a stop. He tried to climb down, but it was more of an undignified scramble as he gagged again, adding to the puddle in the grass.

By this point, the others had taken notice, and he was surrounded by a blurry semicircle of his friends as he fell to a crouching position, gagging again and again until he belched up a torrent of puke that splashed everywhere.

He was crying, Molly realized. His face was a mess of tears and snot, thick ropes of spit dangling from his mouth. It felt as if the nausea was never going to go away. He remained there on his hands and knees, panting and belching for what felt like an eternity, until he felt strong arms under his that pulled him to his feet.

Fjord had pulled him up, and was still supporting most of Molly's weight as Jester bounced into his hazy field of view.

"You're sick! Why didn't you tell us?" she demanded, pressing a hand to his forehead. He tried to answer, but couldn't open his mouth for fear of gagging. "Oh, Mol-ly," Jester said in her lilting accent, voice light and almost... teasing? "You have a fever."

"I know that," he managed. "You n – urrp!" He burped into his fist, trying to fight back the wave of nausea that was coming on strongly now. "You need your spells."

"Well, I have one left, so you should have told me," Jester said, voice still light as she fished the Traveler's symbol out from her cloak and pressed it to his belly. "I am going to cast Cure Illness and then you are going to feel better, all right?"

Molly nodded, and the symbol began to glow as Jester concentrated. All at once, a feeling of wrongness washed over him, the nausea surging back tenfold, and he pitched over and vomited on Jester's shoes.

"I really do apologize," Molly said miserably for what might have been the tenth time. "I wasn't aiming for you at all."

"My shoes can be cleaned!" Jester said brightly, crouching barefoot in the grass next to him. "You really do need to keep drinking, though."

After Jester's spell had failed and his stomach had calmed somewhat, they'd half-dragged, half-carried him a good bit away from the puddle he'd left on the ground. Fjord had handed him a handkerchief to wipe his mouth with ("Please, keep it.") and Caleb had fished a handful of dry, bland crackers out of his pocket, instructing Molly that he needed to both drink to avoid dehydration, and fill his stomach with something inoffensive if he could.

More like something stale, Molly thought, nibbling on the edge of a cracker. Thinking about how long they'd been in Caleb's pockets made his gorge rise, but before he could ruminate on the thought for too long and make himself sick, Beau walked over from where she'd been huddled with Caleb, Fjord, and Nott.

"Alright, here's the plan," she announced, map in hand. "We obviously can't camp here, so we're gonna get'cha back in the cart and find somewhere where we can settle down for the night, take it nice and slow. There're some towns we could make it to before sundown, but we'd have to go at a pretty fast clip, and I really do not want you puking over all of my things."

"That is very agreeable to me," Molly said, placing a hand on his sour stomach. At Jester's urging, he ate a few more of the crackers and drank deeply from the waterskin as everyone else worked out the logistics of their new plan.

A wave of dizziness washed over him, followed by a chill traveling down his spine, and Molly put his head between his knees, breathing deeply. He could do this. Now that he'd vomited, he would feel better any minute now –

"Molly? Do you think you can stand on your own, or should I be helping you?" Jester asked.

"Thanks for the offer, but I can stand," he said, pulling himself to his feet. His belly felt awful, all the water he'd drank churning in a way that really didn't feel good. He could actually hear his guts sloshing as he heaved himself back up onto the cart.

Jester frowned as he put a hand on the bloat of his still-tender stomach. "Are you feeling bad again? Do you need to vomit?"

"Yes, and maybe," Molly said, swallowing thickly. "Not right now. Probably soon."

"Get him set up in the back of the cart," Beau suggested dryly. "If he's gotta puke, he can do it over the edge. If we stay here any longer, it’s gonna get dark."

"That's a good idea!" Jester exclaimed. As Molly shivered with fever, she collected his blankets and bedroll, setting them in the back of the cart, close enough that he would only need to turn his head to vomit over the side. He gratefully settled into the little nest she'd built for him, arms wrapped around his protesting stomach now that he didn't have to hide his illness. Jester sat next to him, humming as she pulled out her sketchbook.

The cart jolted back to life, and Molly swallowed back a sour belch. His stomach was cramping again, and he screwed his eyes shut, tongue rising in a silent gag. He slipped his hand under his shirt to rub his stomach, only to feel a small hand on his wrist.

"Oh! This looks very painful," Jester said, scooting closer to place her hand on the swell of his stomach. "Does it hurt to touch?"

Molly shook his head. "Just hurts in general. Cramps, I'm..." He trailed off as the cart hit a pothole on the road, causing him to burp lightly into his fist. "I'm feeling a bit queasy right now, to be honest."

"Would it help if I rubbed your stomach?" Jester asked, already untucking the loose fabric of his shirt from his pants and rucking it up to his chest.

"Normally, I'd ask you to buy me dinner first, but..." The suggestive joke was lost as Jester poked experimentally at his stomach. Even if he'd wanted to, Molly couldn't fake being healthy now with his flushed, swollen belly on display, gurgling and churning audibly. Her touch ushered up a soft burp, and he blushed a bit, uncomfortable with the sheer amount of sickness, of vulnerability he was showing.

"Did that feel good? I bet it did!" Jester said, continuing to gently skim her hand over his stomach.

He had to give it to her, Jester was good with her hands. She rubbed his stomach in widening circles, slowly increasing the pressure as she went, switching to kneading the sides of his bloated belly every so often, pressing in with her thumbs as she did so. It seemed as if she knew just when to push in deeply, releasing a pocket of air that had been trapped, finally letting him burp it up.

As they bounced around, Molly's burps became more frequent and more queasy. At some point, he had to ask Jester to stop so he could fish out Fjord's handkerchief, and he pressed that against his mouth now, muffling increasingly wet belches.

"I hate to ask, but –" He gagged, mouth closed. "Jes, do you have any healing spells left?"

Molly's stomach gave a particularly loud gurgle, and Jester pressed in hard, dragging her hand along where it was bubbling the most. "I'm sorry, that was my last one! I won't have any more until tomorrow".

"Okay," he choked out, fighting back another gag. "I'm going to vomit again."

He turned his head and did just that, retching harshly over the side of the cart. A series of burps brought up small mouthfuls of water and undigested crackers. He gagged and belched over and over, only aware of the sensation of Jester's cool hands on his stomach, soothing away cramps and then pressing in each time he heaved.

The next thing he knew, Beau was supporting his back, trying to get him to sit up, and Jester was wiping his face with a cool rag. "Not done –" he tried to croak, but retched dryly before he could even finish the sentence.

"It's okay, go ahead and puke!" Jester said brightly, folding the cloth and cupping it under his mouth.

Molly shook his head, lips pressed tightly shut. He was gonna make a mess, he needed to turn back over the side – but Jester held his chin steadily, keeping his head over her cupped hands, and he retched again and again, bringing up more than a mouthful of stringy bile that was easily absorbed by the cloth.

"Think you're empty, dude," Beau said after a few minutes of fruitless gagging. Molly shook his head, one hand pressed to his aching chest. "Look, okay, I'm gonna teach you some monk shit, right?"

"'Kay," Molly managed, immediately choking on a retch.

"This breathing shit, it's supposed to keep you centered, or something like that? I dunno. Anyways. You're gonna breathe in through your nose for eight counts –" She counted him up, and Molly shakily inhaled, fighting back gags all the while. "–And then out through your mouth for another eight."

On five, Molly gagged, slapping his hand across his mouth even though he knew he had nothing left to lose.

"You gotta keep doing it, okay? Don't stop fucking breathing. It helps me when I'm motion sick; you'll feel better soon."

He hoped so. Molly leaned back, listening to the quiet count of eight-seven-six-five-four... He breathed in. He breathed out.

By nightfall, they'd found a small clearing with enough room to pull over the cart and horses and lay out bedrolls. Molly mostly dozed through the process, lying in his nest of blankets in the back of the cart, watching proceedings through half-lidded eyes.

"Molly should be nearest to the fire!" Jester insisted. "Look at him, he's shaking!"

"Don't think that you're supposed to let someone with a fever get any hotter," Fjord drawled. "Maybe we oughta help him cool down first."

The cart rocked a bit as Beau clambered up, sitting cross-legged next to Molly. "Hey," she said. "I'm supposed to make sure that you're drinking water. Are you?"

Molly made a face. He'd been trying to, really, but it just didn't feel good.

"Shit," Beau said. "You gonna puke again?"

"No, it's more like..." He grimaced again, waving a hand in the general direction of his stomach. "Cramps. Hurts."

"Puking all day really took it out of you, huh?"

Molly nodded. His stomach muscles were just sore. Even sitting up hurt; he really didn't want to have to puke again. Just for Beau, he took a small sip of water.

"Excuse me," Caleb said, appearing on Molly's right like a ghost. "I could not help but overhear you say that you were experiencing, ah..." He tried a few words in Zemnian before landing on, "Pain, soreness, in the stomach?"

"Yeah," Beau said, and Molly flashed her a grateful smile. His throat was raw from stomach bile, and talking hurt. "Probably from puking too much. Y'know, if you keep that up, I bet you could get a fucking amazing set of abs," she said, elbowing Molly.

"What makes you think mine aren't already stunning?" he retorted.

"I do not think Molly wishes to repeat such... an intense performance," Caleb said, already flipping through one of his books. "Can I have... yes, that, give me that."

Beau tossed him one of the blankets that had been cast aside, and Caleb caught it in one hand, deftly folding it into a compact square and working some sort of magic on it, something that made both his hands and the blanket glow.

"Here," he said at last. "It is enchanted to stay warm for at least a few hours. Not as good as a heating pack, but, under these circumstances..."

"Thank you, Caleb," Molly rasped, nodding his head in gratitude. The folded blanket was warm to the touch, and he peeled off the other blankets to set it on his stomach, the tension instantly draining out of him as warmth spread through his body. The effect was like taking a hot bath after an intense fight – not completely relieving his aches and pains, but making them much more bearable.

Eventually, Molly was able to stand as Beau and Jester moved his bedroll over to the fire, but he gratefully sank back into the blankets as soon as possible. Even with his makeshift heating pad, he was left trembling with both cold and exhaustion, his energy sapped by just a few simple movements.

"You need to eat, Molly!" Jester exclaimed. "It will make you stronger, you know?"

"I'm good, thanks," Molly said, and then, at her intensifying glare, added, "Really, I don't think it's a good idea."

"Well, Fjord is making soup, so! You should eat it anyways."

"'S less of a soup and more of... I dunno. Leftover meat in water?"

"Hot water," Molly said. He was feeling well enough to joke with the others, at least.

He thought to close his eyes and get some rest, but an insistent poking at his shoulder startled Molly out of any chance at sleep, and he turned his head to see Nott crouched next to him, holding a vial in one green hand.

"Here!" she said, pushing the vial into his own hand and closing his fingers around it when he just stared. "You have to drink it!"

"What is this?" Molly asked, holding the vial up to the light. The glass was dirty, nearly opaque, but the liquid inside seemed to be thick and viscous, a texture that made his gorge rise. "Medicine?"

"Yes! Sort of! It will help settle your stomach, make it hurt less. Probably!"

"Nott," Molly said slowly, "did you make this yourself?" She had the chemistry kit, yes, but from the amount of times he had seen her make acid with it, he didn't want to drink anything that came from one of her vials.

"Yeees," she said slowly, stretching the word out. "But it works!" At Molly's doubtful look, she added, "I drank it before, several times! When I had too much to drink, or when I was hungover, or..."

"All right, I get it, thank you," Molly said. "I appreciate the thought."

He uncorked the vial and peered inside. The liquid was a muddy brown, and grit rose to the top as he swirled it. Well, what did he have to lose, besides his lunch? He tipped the contents into his mouth, gagging on the texture but forcing it down in one swallow. The aftertaste was absolutely vile, and he lurched forward, clapping a hand against his mouth as his stomach threatened to revolt.

"You gotta keep it down!" Nott exclaimed. "Otherwise, it doesn't work."

Molly hummed, rocking back and forth as he tried to swallow back the bile that was creeping up his throat. A muffled gag sent the potion flooding into his mouth, filling his cheeks out, and if was only by sheer willpower that he swallowed it down again.

"Ugh," Molly said when the nausea had passed. "You have a stronger stomach than I do, my friend."

Nott beamed at him with a mouthful of sharp teeth, and Molly found the strength to laugh.

After another few minutes of quiet chatter, it became evident that the potion had worked, at least in some capacity. Molly's stomach felt more sure, like that tight queasiness had abated somewhat, and he was able to entertain the thought of food without gagging. Maybe he really was on the mend.

"You know what?" he asked. "Maybe I'll try some of that soup after all."

Molly woke up shaking, drenched in sweat, and with a growing sense of queasiness in his belly. He tried to ignore the latter – he had been feeling a bit better, just weak, and he didn't want to get up – but the churning and bubbling under his hand wasn't going away, and he didn't enjoy the thought of soiling the campgrounds.

With a muffled groan, he rolled over, his stomach protesting every move as he stood. It was bloated again, he noticed, far more than last time. Clearly, the soup he'd eaten wasn't sitting well at all.

"You are awake," Caleb observed from his post as watchman. "What are you doing?"

"Need some privacy," Molly said quietly, giving him a small half-smile. He didn't want to wake anyone else, didn't want the attention –

"Are you going to vomit?"

"That too," he muttered.

"I will come with you," Caleb announced. "You are ill, and I would feel – badly, if anything happened to you."

"You don't have to," Molly said, pressing his hand against his sour stomach. His nausea was mounting quickly, a sure sign that he needed to leave before he redecorated the campsite. "You're on watch duty, besides."

"I have this." Caleb gestured to the silver thread wound 'round the perimeter. "I will know if anything happens while we are gone."

"As you wish." Molly pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, burping quietly. He traipsed into the woods yet again, Caleb at his heels. When the dying light of the campfire was no longer visible, he allowed himself to stop, stretching out one arm to lean on a nearby tree and breathing heavily.

Sweat beaded on his forehead, and he focused on breathing in through his nose, out through his mouth. Beau's exercises didn't make him any less nauseous, but his heart wasn't beating quite so fast, and it helped him breathe through some of the worst cramps.

"Are you still going to vomit?" Molly jumped, nearly forgetting that Caleb was with him. The other man stood a few feet away, head tilted curiously to the side. "I thought you said you were nauseous."

"I will, eventually." Another cramp seized his middle, and Molly winced, bending forward and clamping his hand down on his stomach. The movement jarred a long, deep belch up his throat, and he stayed there for a moment, the taste of acid on the back of his tongue. "It's coming up, just – I'm waiting."

"I see."

Saliva was beginning to collect in Molly's mouth, and he parted his lips, allowed it to fall to the forest floor. No point in holding it back now. "You should head back now, if you don't want to be disgusted. It's not – uuuurp–gh!" A deep, rumbling burp turned into a gag, and Molly clapped his hand against his mouth as he spoke, voice muffled by his fingers. "It's not pretty."

"I am not disgusted," Caleb said, his clipped accent making the words sharper, somehow. "It is merely a function of the body, no more or no less. You are ill, ja? Let your body do what it needs to."

"Mmm." Molly gagged audibly, spitting a glob of thick saliva onto the ground. He felt awful, sick and dizzy again, wanting nothing more than to get this over with.

"Beau said earlier that rubbing your stomach helped, yes? Would you like me to... shall we say, get things started for you?"

"Please," Molly practically begged, shaking with nausea. Caleb silently walked behind him, wrapping his arms around Molly, fingers resting on the base of his stomach. "I can't believe you're not absolutely grossed out by this."

"Like I said, I would like to be of help."

Unlike Jester, Caleb's hands were warm, almost hot to the touch, and Molly wondered if he was doing that with magic. He didn't waste any time, just waited until Molly's stomach cramped and then pushed in, hard.

Molly immediately belched up a hot torrent of vomit, the soup he'd consumed earlier splattering at his feet in a foamy mess. Caleb didn't let up, keeping up a steady pattern of squeezing and then letting go, ushering up wet burps alternating with splashes of thick vomit. Nott's potion, he recognized with disgust. It tasted even worse coming up.

When he was belching emptily, Caleb released his stomach, turning Molly to face him.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"I'm – urp! – waiting on the next round," Molly said. Caleb held out a waterskin, and Molly shook his head queasily.

"You know, vomiting on an empty stomach is never much fun," Caleb insisted quietly.

Molly got a few swallows down before he gagged directly into the waterskin, spraying watery puke onto his hand and arm and down his chest, soaking his nightshirt. He choked on it, coughing and spitting out mouthfuls of water and bile, gulping down gags and trying his best to catch his breath.

When the coughing fit stopped, though, his stomach had stopped churning. The cooling vomit on his shirt and beads of sweat on his forehead let him know that his fever had broken, too.

"That was absolutely vile, but I feel – better," he said under Caleb's questioning gaze. "I didn't catch you in any of that, did I?"

"Oh!" Caleb said, as if he had never even considered the possibility. "No, I believe that my clothing is... unscathed, for now. Are you finished?"

Molly wiped his mouth on his sleeve, making a face. "For now. I'll probably have to puke again later, but I don't enjoy the idea of sitting out here and waiting for it."

"If it would help," Caleb offered, "you might sit with me while you wait for your stomach to settle."

Molly smiled, despite himself. "I just might take you up on that, my friend."

#emetophilia #emeto #do NOT @ me about characterization or anything please... i am new here!#ironically molly is one of the hardest characters for me to get a grasp on so i hope i did him justice!#(rip. i know.)#is caleb into it (tm)? Maybe A Little. but that's just headcanon it's not canon in the fic #supersecretsick #my fic

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psychovigilantewrites · 5 years

Text

Just Drunken Talks

Pairing: Jason Todd/Reader

Genre: Drabble smut

Word Count: 1,305

A/N: I wanted to try out something different and new after I read a fic written in a similar style on ao3. I thought it was a nice challenge and I definitely had a lot of fun writing this! It was supposed to be SFW but uhm you guys know me and you guys know I just cant resist writing smut hehe enjoy!

Masterlist

Ko-fi

You should head to bed, Princess. You’re drunk.”

“I- I’m not drunk. Just a lil’ tipsy s’all.”

“Sweetheart, you’re definitely drunk.”

“How would you know, huh?”

“Coz you’re looking at me funny.”

“Maybe because you’re funny lookin’, Jay- hey, don’t roll your eyes at me!”

“Come on, I’ll carry you to bed.”

“It’s fine, I can sleep on the couch right here.”

“The last time you slept on the couch you complained about back aches the whole week. Come on, let me help you up.”

“But, Jaaaaaaay.”

“What is it?”

“I just want to stay here with you for a bit. Please? You hardly come home anymore. It’s just mission after mission. You’re my housemate but you’re barely home.”

“You got me here the whole weekend, sweetie.”

“Please, Jay? Let me cuddle up next to you like this just a little longer.”

“Fine. But you gotta stop with the funny looks.”

“What funny looks?”

“You know, with those eyes.”

“Are you sure you’re not drunk too, Jason?”

“Yes! You keep on giving me those weird eyes.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“See, you’re doing it again! Stop looking at me like- like-”

“Like what?”

“Like you want to sex me up or something.”

“Maybe I do, Jay.”

“Woah, woah, what’re you doing?”

“M’trying to kiss you. Comere.”

“Princess, you are drunk outta your mind. No.”

“Please.”

“No way in hell.”

“Please, Jay?”

“Fuck- stop that.”

“I haven’t even moved, Jay.”

“No, stop with the voice.”

“Now you have a problem with my voice?”

“Yes, you’re making it sound all weird and sexy.”

“Are you sure it’s not because I’m pleading?”

“Pretty sure it’s because you’re making it extra sultry on purpose.”

“Do you like it?”

“Like it? N- I mean, yeah- but, that’s not the point!”

“What’s the point, baby?”

“Fuck, fuck. The point is, you’re killin’ me.”

“I just want a kiss, baby. That’s all I want.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“But I like calling you that. And from what I can see, you do, too.”

“What? What are you- oh, fuck. No, this is because you’ve been frisky with me all night.”

“Hmm, I still made you hard without even touching you, though.”

“When you look at me like that, and make your stupid voice sound like that, it’s enough to make anyone hard.”

“So it is because of my voice? You’re being inconsistent, Jason.”

“Incon- wait, what the fuck? Are you even drunk anymore?”

“Just a bit tipsy.”

“Fuck, you scheme like Bruce.”

“Thank you.”

“It’s not a compliment.”

“Can you kiss me now?”

“What- no! You’re still under the influence.”

“I thought you liked me, Jason.”

“I do. I do like you.”

“But just as a friend?”

“You know we’re more than just friends, sweetheart.”

“Like, best friends?”

“Sure……. Why are you pouting like that?”

“Nevermind. This was a mistake. Forget this ever happened. I’m heading to bed.”

“Hey, come on. Don’t go. Sit back down here. That’s right. Now, you know I can’t kiss you when you’re drunk. It’s not right.”

“It’s not just about that.”

“Then what is it about?”

“I… I don’t know. I don’t think I should tell you.”

“Well now that you’ve brought it up, you just gotta.”

“It’s not that simple, Jason.”

“Look. We’ve known each other for like, what? Eight years now? Since we first met in Titans Tower? Sure, I died for a bit in between, but we’ve been housemates for like, the past two and a half years?”

“So?”

“So, you can trust me. You can tell me anything and I won’t judge. You know that.”

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“That it’ll ruin things between us.”

“Hey. Nothing can ruin things between us. You can try to shoot me and I’ll still forgive you. So are you going to tell me?”

“Fine.”

“Jesus Christ, sweetheart, it’s been a whole minute! You gonna tell me or not?”

“Ugh, fine, I like you, okay? I’ve… I’ve caught the feels, or whatever.”

“That’s cool.”

“Seriously?”

“What?”

“That’s your response? Fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“I’m just messin’ with you, come on. I like you, too.”

“Like, more than just best friends?”

“Definitely. Had a crush on you since Titans.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Wanted to bash Roy’s head in when he was flirting with you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you, baby?”

“Did you just call me baby?”

“Yeah. You like it?”

“I kinda do.”

“Good.”

“Jason?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you kiss me now?”

“Are you drunk?”

“I told you, I was tipsy!”

“And are you still tipsy?”

“I kinda never was…”

“What?”

“I pretended to be drunk so I can make a move on you. And if it didn’t work out I could just blame it on the alcohol.”

“No wonder. You were too sharp to be drunk.”

“So can you ki- mmpf!”

“Fuck, baby. Been wanting to do that since forever.”

“Me too.”

“Comere. Sit on my lap. Yeah, straddle me like that. God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

“Mmmm, fuck! Do that again.”

“You like it when I bite your lip?”

“Yes, just not too- ow! I said not too hard, dumbass!”

“Ow! Why’d you smack me like that!”

“Because you’re such a- oh, god. Oh, God, Jay.”

“I love it when you wear these shorts. So flimsy. So easy to slip aside and-”

“Ah, fuck!”

“Do me a favor and take off your top for me, baby.”

“Anything you say, Jay.”

“Such a good girl. Fuck, I’ve always wanted to see your tits. I’ve always wanted to…”

“Hnngh, shit, Jason. Keep- keep sucking. God, please don’t stop. Fuck, let me take off your-”

“Ah, fuck. Straight at it, huh?”

“So big, Jason. Want to choke on it. Can I choke on it?”

“Fuck, baby, don’t talk like that while you’re stroking me.”

“Why not?”

“Because- fuck- because you’re gonna make me come too soon.”

“But I want your cock inside my throat, Jason.”

“Some other time. I want to feel your pussy. Come here.”

“Oh my god. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck fuck fuck, Jason.”

“Fuck, you’re so tight, holy shit. You feel so good around me, baby girl.”

“Ah!”

“Oh, you like it when I rub your clit while you ride me?”

“Don’t stop!”

“Fuck, look at those tits bounce. Fuck! So fucking sexy.”

“Jason. Oh, Jason, oh, fuck.”

“You wanna come, sweetheart?”

“Yes!”

“Wanna come all over my cock?”

“Yes, Jason, please.”

“You gotta wait a bit, okay? Wait for me, and we’ll come together. Can you do that?”

“Hnng, I’ll try.”

“No trying, baby. Can you or can you not?”

“I can!”

“There’s a good girl. So fucking good for me.”

“Fuuuuck.”

“Okay, baby, you ready?”

“Yes!”

“You ready to come with me?”

“Yes, Jason, yes!

“Okay, come with me, baby. Come with- fuck. Fuck. Ah, fuck, fuck fuck. Fuuuck.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Here, let me take it out-”

“Ah! Slowly, asshole!”

“Sorry, baby. My bad. Shit, I came a lot in you. Fuck, do you need the pill? I’ll run to the pharmacy.”

“It’s okay, I’m on birth control.”

“Ah shit, my cum is just dripping out of you.”

“Mmm, feels good.”

“Babe, don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Rub my cum all over your pussy like that. You’re gonna make me hard again.”

“Good. We’ve got the whole weekend, don’t we?”

“Yes, we do. Though, we might get some noise complaints. You were pretty loud.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no. I loved it. Now that asshole down the hall will know you’re mine.”

“Am I?”

“Of course- unless. Unless you don’t want to be. I mean, it’s fine if you don’t. I won’t be mad or-”

“Of course I do, Jason. But on one condition.”

“Anything.”

“Come back more? Please?”

“Oh, baby, I’ll hang around you so much, you’re gonna be begging for me to leave.”

#jason todd x reader #saturday drabbles #drabbles #jason todd reader insert

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seongwhy · 5 years

Text

first of all thanks for your tumblr

i have a request please !! ateez with their love interest making the first move. It could be so sweet or hot... idk can't wait to read

THANK YOU ♥

@panda-tchi thank you!!! I'm so sorry it took long, i made a post about my absence, but I didnt knwo if you meant you wanted ateez making the first move or their love interest... so Im gonna do both !!! they'll be in parts so heres the first part

ateez making the first move on their love interest

hongjoong

ok so in my head hongjoong is like,, rlly shy and cute and b aby!!!!

and so he wouldn't do anything unless he was absolutely sure abt it

he would be flustered walking you to your door and flustered when he grabbed your hand

but youd look at him and smile and hed know everything's going good

but with his cheeks red and his teeth showing hed move the hand that isnt holding yours to move your hair behind you ear

and hed step closer to yours

istg itd be like a cheesy ass drama

hed lean in to you and close his eyes rlly tight and his lips puckered and youd be like :')) what a cutie

but then youd lean into him and itd be a perfect harmony of sweetness and kisses

and hed pull away after kissing you with his face beet red and be like '...that was awesome' and youd laugh and hed go redder

I literally ugh I want this

hed say goodnight but wont let go of your hand :((( youd have to tell him

hed walk away giggling to himself and once he got home hed be so happy omg hed text you right away

'tonight was so fun.. see you again soon?'

seonghwa

seonghwa,,,, baby

yall would be driving home from the date

and hed be driving and hed slip his right hand on your thigh !!! like the slick God he is !!!!

and youd be like.... oh shit

and when you look at him hed be smirking but still looking at the road bc hes a ~responsible driver~

but in his head hed be like 'is this ok???? what am.i doing AA'

then when he reached your place hed stop you from getting out so he could open the door for you gentleman style

hed give you his hand to get out, and then bring it around his waist

o m gee hed wrap his arm around your waist too

then at your door he would even say anything hed just grab you face and kiss you

and youd be ●-● for three seconds before smiling and leaning into it

and you can feel him smile too

then when you guys pull away bc of lack of breath he kisses your nose and your cheek and your hand

and tells you it was a pleasure and you'll see him tomorrow at lunch or smth

and he pecks you again and gives you the cutest smile and walks away giving you a few more looks as he goes

but

you yell at him to stop

and you invite him inside

what is he gonna do ?? say no ?

yunho

ok so I see you and yunho being rlly good friends

and you're at his place/the dorm and you're making ramen together

and all the boys are playing video games or in their rooms or smth so it's just you two in the kitchen cooking it up yknow what I mean

and you're laughing at sum dumb thing he said

and then he just looks at you

and watches you with your pretty smile and your pretty face and your pretty hair and you look so pretty

and he just cant help but move closer to you

and then you stop laughing and look at him like ???

and he just grabs your waist and pulls you in

then he takes a deep breathe and does what hes been wanting to do for a while now

and kisses you

he kisses you like his life depended on it this guy cant hold back

you're so into it you both cant hear or think or breathe anything but each other

but then you hear a 'yah!!!!' and you step away from yunho to see an angry but cheeky seonghwa looking at you two and the overflowing boiling water on the stove

and you and yunho jump and go read and move to clean and both mumble an 'I'm sorry' to seonghwa

he walks away chuckling

and you two look at each other wide eyes and red faces and laugh

ah,,, such kids man

yeosang

you and yeosang are going on a lil brunch picnic date

so u had to wake up early (a lil too early for you but dont tell him dat) to make sure your morning hair was tamed and your eyebags were covered

though yeosang wouldnt have cared what you looked like tbh

but when you answered your doorbell in the prettiest outfit hes ever seen, be wasnt complaining

he maybe took too long staring at you bc you had to clear your throat to get him to stop

he looked up at you, trying his best not to look flustered and he clears his throat too, sticking his hand out for you to hold on to

you smile at him and take his hand and step down your front steps

as hes waiting for you to step down the last one, he grabs onto your other hand and pulls (take a shot everytime i use that word in this post) you into him

he kisses you lightly

then whispers 'you look really pretty'

winks at you

and starts walking

you're standing at the end of your steps and gape at him

he looks back at you

'aren't you coming?'

san

ok dis precious lil baby boi

hes nervous and hes masking it w confidence and jokes

but you can read right through them

but you're not gonna tell him that

hes walking you to the park where you'll sit and play with the doggos that walk by and he has some sandwiches in his bag (your favourite)

and you're talking and he asks you you're favourite color to which you answer and he stops

and you stop, confused

so you grab his arm and ask 'are u ok?'

and he looks at you and grabs your shoulders and says 'that's my favourite too'

and you're like ,,, ok cool wow let's keep going i wanna see he dogs

but he just looks at you and says nothing

and so u turn and walk with your arm in your hand to pull him along

but he just grabs it and pulls you into him

and kisses you !!!!! and you kiss back !!!

and then you part from him

and say 'all because you like purple too?'

and he laughs and smiles and hooks his arm into yours and starts walking again with a lil more pep in his step (if that's even possible)

mingi

mango!!! my babie

mingi takes u on a lil arcade date

he tries his best to let you win every game you play

until it gets to one of those racecar games where he just loses himself in and therefore cannot lose to anyone

and when he wins he cheers and claps

until he looks over and sees you pouting that you not only lost to him, but got last place as well

he immediately stops cheering and pouts too

he starts making hand hearts and he grabs your hands and plays with them claps them together and boops your nose

he does everything until he sees you smile

and once you smile he does too

and he kisses your forehead and then your cheek and then he leans towards your lips, still smiling

and he kisses you

it's short but cute !! and lovely and keeps you wanting more

but he opens the curtain of the game thing and walks over to your side and grabs your hand

'c'mon, you can beat me in the next one'

wooyoung

wooyoungie !!! takes you to an amusement park!!!!

yall have gone on all the rides, have tried every fair food you could and now the sun is starting to set (I think yall know where this is going)

theres only one thing you two havent done yet

and that's the ferris wheel !!!!

you two are sitting up there and you're gaping at the view in front of you

but though you thought the view was pretty ... he thought you were prettier sorry

and hes staring at you wishing youd just turn to face him so he kiss your pretty mouth

and then you do

so then he does

and you gasp!!! but melt into him

you put your hands in his hair

and he puts his on your face

and yall are kissing until you have to get off or pay for another ride

and he pays for another ride

but then you eventually get off and you eventually get home

and once hes home he doesnt hesitate to text you

and then hes hyungsik in that scene from strong girl bong-soon

and yeosangs telling him to stfu and go to bed

jongho

plz this lil man can barely keep it together when he sees you

and he finally gets you alone?? what does he do with himself

apparently nothing. bc hes just sitting there

his hyungs know he likes you and you being wooyoungs bestie, you're chilling in the dorm

and the hyungs leave bc '... I have to .. nap' 'right!! and i have to ... go to the store !! we have no more ramen and you know the kids,, they need their ramen' and 'oh gosh, would you look at the time!! I've gotta take a shower!!'

and one by one it's just the two of you on the couch

and he freezes

I mean, you're just slouched down on your phone

but you look so... so pretty

and lovely

and like he could just kiss you

and now hes staring.

and now you've realized

and hes blushing and his throat is dry

'I.. uh . sorry do u want some water? I'm gonna go get some water'

without waiting for an answer he kinda just walks away mumbling 'so dumb. so dumb! damn u hyungs'

when he gets to the kitchen he pours himself some water and take a sip

be turns around and you're there !! oh no

jongho decides he doesnt give a f u ck. yolo. hes no pussy boi

and he just steps in and he pulls u in

and he kisses you

and he thanks God you kiss back

and now hes blushing. again

you kiss his neck to tease him and he turns redder

you back up and laugh

'I was wondering when you were gonna do that'

hes so happy he almost cries

thanks wooyoung!!!!

#ateez #seonghwa #wooyoung #yeosang #jongho #yunho #mingi #hongjoong #san #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #i want all of thsi tbh #submission

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homespork-review · 4 years

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Homespork Act 4, Part 2: Flight of the Paradox Groans

BRIGHT: Remember Spades Slick being bizarrely aware he was in a comic, back in the Intermission? Buckle up, things are about to get even more fourth-wall-breaking. Appropriately, this starts by the comic focusing on an actual fourth wall, which activates to show...Andrew Hussie.

Hussie’s MS Paint avatar notices the audience watching him, laments that his side of the wall doesn’t have an off switch, and then recaps the first year of Homestuck.

Now, in all fairness: The recap is thorough, full of links, and explains things fairly well. It’s quite long, but given how much territory it has to cover I’m not sure it could be any shorter. So it does its job well, and it’s a boon if you’re getting lost with the plot.

As for the author insertion...on this occasion I don’t mind it. It comes across as tongue-in-cheek, but framed more as the author talking to the reader than as the author inserting himself into the narrative. It’s definitely very Homestuck.

Anyway, AH gets back to work, and after a couple of false starts we return to John!

John is still flying around with his jet pack. GC trolls him to offer him a world map of LOWAS and tell him she feels awful about killing him, although in literally the next line she tells him that technically he never even died so she doesn’t understand why he’s so upset. John understandably finds this disturbing. They have a brief nonsensical discussion about Jesus/Jegus, and then John agrees to go take a look at what’s on the other side of his Second Gate. Yes, on the advice of someone whose previous advice got him killed.

CHEL: Almost a shame we didn’t set up a Too Dumb To Live count, but then to be fair that was a separate timeline and he’s probably not thinking of it as something that “really” happened. This is supported by his later dialogue.

FAILURE ARTIST: The word Jegus is really popular in the Homestuck fandom, used far more often than it is in the canon. Gets quite annoying, in my opinion. Actually, a rather Jesus-like figure does appear, but he’s not called “Jegus”.

CHEL: Yeah, I think only Terezi, John, and Dave ever use the term, but it somehow became latched onto as an actual term used by trolls in general, even though in canon it isn’t.

BRIGHT: Fortunately, this time GC appears to be playing nice. John flies though the Second Gate and emerges...into LOLAR?

FAILURE ARTIST: Hussie does an amusing trick where he has what looks like a loading screen for a flash but it’s actually a still image eternally at 2%.

BRIGHT: Yes, it’s LOLAR. John promptly crashes into Rose’s house, smashing through a wall and into her bedroom, where Rose is still snoozing in her knitting pile. Apart from briefly being stuck upside down, he does not appear injured by this collision.

Rose has somehow slept through the commotion. John decides to let her rest and borrows her computer to talk to Dave.

The first one he talks to is actually Davesprite, who points out how moronic John was to listen to GC again. No arguments here! Then he explains how the Gate system works: Odd-numbered Gates, above players’ houses, lead to somewhere on their planets. Even-numbered Gates lead to other players’ planets, exiting over their houses. Normally they aren’t meant to go through even-numbered Gates until the houses are built up, so they don’t fall to their deaths, but fortunately John has a jetpack workaround. So far Davesprite is living up to his promise of being straightforward.

John realises he’s talking to Future Dave, and asks “do you think i could talk to the real dave for a second?”

...ouch, John.

Davesprite goes off on a tear, ranting that he is a real Dave — arguably the realest Dave, since he’s been running around LOHAC for months trying to get enough information to save everyone. John apologises sincerely.

CHEL: This won’t be the last we hear of this theme, though.

EB: i think i pissed off your future self. TG: what did you do EB: i said he wasn't the real dave. TG: ahahahahaha EB: i think i might have really hurt his feelings though! TG: pff TG: dont worry about it EB: why not? TG: cause i wouldnt give a shit TG: and hes me

BRIGHT: Not a hundred percent sure I believe Dave, there.

CHEL: Dave uses John to snoop around Rose’s room and get the captcha code for her journals. Classy, Dave. Not a SLAMMER point, however, as this does come back to bite him very soon.

Rose’s dreamself has awoken on Derse, the purple planet, and flies across to the opposite tower. Dave’s dreamself appears to be awake, sitting upright in his computer chair; the room is entirely an unsettling bloody red colour apart from the SBaHJ cartoons on the walls, and… oh shit, there’s Lil Cal again, now in a long purple nightdress and hopping around the room on his own. If Rose was having nightmares because of dreamself issues, I can only imagine how Dave’s nightmares must look. Rose throws a ball of yarn at Dave’s dreamself, alerting him, and causing the awake Dave to pass out.

Back in Rose’s room, it seems that Charles Barkley quote was not misattributed:

FAILURE ARTIST: Another SBaHJ reference in the book quote. Is that where Dave got it?

Still, I don’t recall this book ever coming up again. Just another item that seems like a Chekhov's Gun but isn’t.

CHEL: John feels guilty about opening his birthday gift from Rose, but reasons that it’s technically now his anyway, so he does, finding another bunny, this one black and filthy-looking except for the pristine knitted purple patches repairing it, though its shape is eerily familiar.

The gift in this box is a resurrection. I used your present to thread life anew into a tattered heirloom. As long as I can remember, its black, greasy appendages have been tethered limply to its ratty, porous carriage. Too delicate to wash, too dear to discard. I used to love this rabbit. Now he's yours. I trust you'll find this to be adequately sentimental. Happy birthday.

Oh my gosh, awwwwww. Even if you don’t ship them romantically how can you not love their interactions? Definitely one of the comic’s strong points. Also I need to go hug my childhood teddy bear.

John puts the bunny back in the box again and the box in his sylladex, freeing Casey the salamander while he’s at it. And let’s just take a minute to feel utter horror because dead John still had Casey in his sylladex, so the best option is that she died too, and the worst is that we have an And I Must Scream situation on for a baby salamander. Gah.

FAILURE ARTIST: Thanks, I’d never thought of that and I never want to again.

You aren't actually sure if she is a girl though. You don't even know if salamanders can be girls. Aren't they hermaphrodites or something?

CHEL: No, for the record. Though some frogs can switch from one to the other.

FAILURE ARTIST: Casey is very popular as a name for an OC child of John (often having Rose as the mother).

CHEL: John answers Rose’s Pesterchum, upon which GA is half-heartedly sending antagonistic messages. John answers on Rose’s account, saying that Rose is asleep, which GA takes for Human Sarcasm, prompting John to pretend to be Rose.

GA: I Should Figure Out How The Viewport Feature Of This Application Works GA: So I Can See What Such A Primitive Creature Looks Like TT: haha, well i know what you guys look like. TT: you look kind of like... TT: howie mandel from little monsters.

Wait, how does he know? Am I forgetting a point at which he saw them?

BRIGHT: I always assumed that he was just goofing around and his guess happened to land in the right ballpark, but thinking about it, I’m not sure the kids ever express surprise at the trolls’ appearance.

CHEL: John, pretending to be Rose, talks about how awesome John is.

GA: He Is Either The Leader Of Your Party Or You Hold Whatever The Human Equivalent Of Mating Fondness For Him Is

CHEL: Both. Both is good!

FAILURE ARTIST: Knowing what we do of troll culture later this is an odd statement. Heck, it’s just an odd statement. Maybe this is why people think trolls don’t do friendship.

CHEL: John apparently confuses GA by saying it’s because Rose is thoughtful and John appreciates his gift, and suggests GA talk to John.

TT: why don't you pick the time that will make the most complicated mess out of everything imaginable?

GA sounds very annoyed, and leaves, intending to have the conversation with John that she had previously. We see her, GC, and the horns of AT and an unknown troll in the grey room, now revealed to be a computer laboratory. For some reason she chats via Pesterchum with another troll instead of just walking over to talk to them. This new troll is twinArmageddons, an appropriate name for the circumstances, who type2 iin yellow text liike thii2; he is, as it turns out, the hacker guy GC mentioned earlier. TA is busy setting up the network and seems irritable in general, and is not willing to help GA work her viewport.

TA: iif ii 2ee one more 2narl of wiire2. TA: kiind of juttiing out and beiing tangled or whatever. TA: ii am goiing two perform 2ome 2ort of athletiic fuckiing 2omer2ault off the deep end and get a call from the pre2iident or 2ome 2hiit.

Nice callback, but trolls, as we’ll later find out, don’t have presidents.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 14

GA wonders why TA doesn’t want to talk to her, and TA complains that he knew in advance the trolls were doomed and no one believed him. He refuses to troll the humans himself but is setting up the system so the others can in order to get them to leave him alone. GA asks again for help, to no avail.

TA: iif you cant fiigure 2hiit out by fuckiing around you dont belong near computer2. TA: kiind of liike wiith regii2tered 2ex offender2 and 2chool2. TA: iif you move two a new town you have two go up two your neiighbor2 door and warn them about how 2tupiid you are. TA: and giive them a chance two hiide all theiir iinnocent technology. TA: and vandaliize your hou2e.

Ooh, a threefer plus one! Tacky simile for the Problematykks. As for WSP, we’ll later find out that 1) trolls kill all their criminals, 2) trolls don’t give a shit about the welfare of their children, and 3) trolls don’t appear to actually go to school. These two counts are neck and neck in the lead now!

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 17 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 17

BRIGHT: As with much of Homestuck, the trolls give the impression of being made up as Hussie went along. That’s not entirely a bad thing -- it certainly makes the comic pretty unique -- but it does lead to some out-of-place slip-ups.

Anyway, GA chucks her F1 key at TA’s head and then starts poking him. We also see CG in the lab.

FAILURE ARTIST: I think I recall GA/TA were a popular ship before we learned more about GA. It does seem like they have a Rose & Dave dynamic going on.

BRIGHT: Back on Derse, Rose and Dave have a dance party to Dave’s music while accompanied by some crows and Lil Cal, who keeps teleporting around the room. Rose eventually gets tired of Cal’s shenanigans and hurls him out of the window, to the relief of many.

FAILURE ARTIST: The flash originally included music by Bill Bolin. In fact, it was his unfinished music being included here that caused all the drama in the first place.

BRIGHT: Time for some random interludes! First up is Maplehoof the pony, who is following Rose’s mother through a large cave which, judging by the grist lying around, recently contained very dangerous monsters.

FAILURE ARTIST: Apparently pets can collect grist for their masters...and know what grist is despite being a normal(?) animal.

BRIGHT: First Mom, and then Maplehoof, stand on a transportaliser platform and disappear. Second is Dad, who has just acquired a replacement shoe and hat (which showed up in the walkaround game, way back at the beginning of the Act), when he encounters a familiar-looking stranger with a Colonel Sassacre book, who leads him to another transportalizer platform. Both of these interludes do become relevant later, but at the time they seem a tad unnecessary.

Meanwhile, John uses Rose’s alchemiter and a code Davesprite gave him mid-rant to produce a truly epic hammer called FEAR NO ANVIL. It’s far too big for John to wield, but fortunately he can use the scaling upgrade on the alchemiter to reduce it to a more useable size. ...wait. When did Rose’s alchemiter get a scaling upgrade? Dave and Jade added a lot of modifications to his, but Rose’s should be the original edition. Sigh.

EB: so what is this? EB: the thing the code made... TG: really powerful hammer EB: how do you know? EB: i thought you couldn't use hammers. TG: i cant TG: better be though TG: got it from hephaestus EB: who's that? TG: really tough to kill dude EB: you killed him for it? TG: nope EB: how'd you get it then? TG: shenanigans EB: ok.

...and we’re back to sprite evasiveness. Davesprite is being less than forthcoming here, although it’s less obvious than with Nannasprite because it superficially imitates John and Dave’s bantering.

CHEL: Now, this would be a good way of keeping us interested if we were eventually going to see how he did it, and also they have a time limit, so not going off into a long anecdote would be understandable. However, we’ll see how his evasiveness level proceeds in the future.

BRIGHT: Dream Rose and Dave see John using Rose’s alchemiter on Dream Dave’s computer. Rose wakes up.

FAILURE ARTIST: It is interesting how early Homestuck avoided having characters have face-to-face conversations. Would have been unique if it kept up throughout the entire comic.

BRIGHT: Back in the meteor, GA hassles TA into opening the viewport on her computer. This turns out to be as simple as clicking on the point in Rose’s timeline that she wants to see. No wonder TA was frustrated!

Of course, by this point, the only one left in the room is Rose, now awake, and the young salamander. Rose hurries to catch up with John, but he blasts off to explore before she can reach him, taking her mutated kitten with him.

CHEL: John renames Vodka Mutini to Dr Meowgon Spengler, and Rose renames Casey to Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer. Interesting link to the themes of identities which are starting to crop up, though it’s not really a direct analogue. The animals are the same animals with different names; the alternate timeline characters have the same names and superficially the same identities, but are they really the same people after their new experiences?

BRIGHT: Back on Derse, Lil Cal inexplicably lands on a stray rocket board, catching the attention of AR.

You're not sure which laws are being broken, but it is probably a lot.

AR follows Cal to yet another transportaliser, and they both dematerialise.

We jump back to John, who spies a boat on one of the islands dotting LOLAR and lands to investigate. He follows hoofprints in the sand into a subterranean hallway filled with monsters. Fortunately his new hammer has time powers, which stun the monsters long enough for John to kill them. Further on, he finds the transportaliser Mom used. John, naturally, stands on it, and is transported to a meteor in the Veil.

Actually, it’s not just a meteor; it’s one of the laboratories where the Skaian troops are produced. John, along with the cat and Maplehoof, finds a bunch of chess guys being grown in glass jars on a giant podium. Most of them are the standard carapaces we’re familiar with, but there are also a few larger pieces, apparently based on knights and rooks. He also finds a JUNIOR ECTOBIOLOGIST’S LAB SUIT, and another of those strange house-shaped sets of monitors.

On Prospit, PM is preparing to board a shuttle to Skaia when a COURTYARD DROLL sneaks up behind her. Unaccountably, she fails to notice him, despite the fact that he’s wearing a hat larger than he is. CD successfully pickpockets the White Queen’s ring, and PM departs for Skaia, none the wiser.

CD radios the DRACONIAN DIGNITARY to report mission success, and is told that he doesn’t need to keep wearing his ridiculous outfit, per orders from Jack Noir, who is now going by the SOVEREIGN SLAYER. CD says he’d rather keep wearing the outfit. Apart from the sword-through-the-chest part, it is a very nice outfit, so I’m with CD on this one.

Catastrophe is averted by Jade delivering a flying kick to CD’s head and following up with a very efficient smackdown. Her robot body replicates this back on Earth, beating the stuffing out of her mummified grandfather. Jade retrieves the ring, and puts it on her fingers to remind herself to give it back to PM later. Unfortunately, this doesn’t cause Jade to sprout wings and tentacles. Seems the rings don’t work on humans like that.

Meanwhile, in a Timeless Expanse, a WARWEARY VILLEIN is getting tired of the battle between Derse and Prospit. The next animation is called “WV?: Rise Up” and it’s one of my favorites! When I first read Homestuck I had to watch it a few times before I understood what was going on, but it is a very neat video.

Watch on YouTube

The Battlefield has been prototyped three times, and is now spherical. The forces of Derse and Prospit meet. The usual carapaces with swords are backed up by larger pieces -- some of them very strange -- and by battleships clashing in the sky. In the chaos, WV, who is farming peacefully on Skaia, has his home and farm burned down. He raises a flag and addresses the troops of both armies. Elsewhere, Jack Noir appears, flying over the Battlefield in search of the Black King.

WV rallies the armies and tells them that their real enemies are the monarchs, who are responsible for the war. Encouraged, the Dersite and Prospitan troops band together and march on the Black King.

Meanwhile, PM has reached the White King and discovers that she no longer has the White Queen’s ring. The White King listens to her and hands over his scepter, which seems to represent Skaia and serves a similar function to the Queens’ rings. Behind a nearby hill, the Hegemonic Brute radios somebody to report the transfer.

As WV and the united armies reach the Black King, Jack arrives and slices the Black King’s scepter in half, nullifying its powers and turning the Black King back into a normal carapace. PM is attacked by HB, who knocks the White King’s scepter out of her hand; it falls down a waterfall. Jack Noir beheads the Black King and turns to WV, and the animation ends.

...okay, much as I love it, I have to admit there’s a glaring question here: Namely, the kids started playing the Game less than a day ago and Dave’s kernelsprite has been prototyped for a few hours max. The second prototyping made the Battlefield more complex and the third took it into its current form. That’s a very short time to instigate a cross-faction revolution, organise the troops, and march on a monarch. For that matter, how long has WV been a farmer? The inhabitants of Derse and Prospit have obviously been doing their thing all the kids’ lives, but the Battlefield was supposedly a static, rudimentary space until John entered the Medium, so what gives?

Then again, the timeline in the Medium is supposed to be distinct from the timeline on Earth, so maybe that explains it?

CHEL: An interesting point is also raised by WV’s revolution. Namely, Derse is presented as a kingdom of darkness and evil by the game, while Prospit is presented as good. However, while PM is good, WV and AR are demonstrably not bad people either. In this animation, we see carapaces of both sides apparently don’t want to be involved in the war and are willing to rise up against the Black King. The rank-and-file carapaces on both sides, it seems, are decent people who are just following orders. (Not to mention very cute.) Jack Noir and his gang are nasty pieces of work, except CD who’s also just kind of going along with it, but there’s nothing saying white carapaces couldn’t also be… And is that a Problematykks point, presenting the black-coloured people as bad and the white-coloured ones as good? I know they’re chess pieces, but still.

This raises the question, however, what’s Derse’s motive? Are its rulers and archagents simply destroying for the evulz? I wonder. I also wonder how much Skaia itself is involved in this and how aware it is. Skaia is called the crucible of creation, and it’s responsible for the creation of the carapaces too. References are made to it “seeing” and “knowing”; it’s quite possibly sentient, though maybe not sapient. On top of that, SBurb is specifically a game, and a game needs an objective, and an adventure-type game needs enemies. Derse, it seems likely, was created and presented the way it is in order to give the players something to battle against even if its people don’t want to be their enemies. No wonder WV’s pissed!

BRIGHT: Yup. Hmm, thinking about it...the imps and other enemies we saw attacking John’s house early on were obviously Dersite, but the ones we’ve seen in Rose’s seem to be Prospitian, if anything? The colour scheme looks that way, at least. But Nanna said earlier that Derse was the enemy, nothing about Prospit.

Perhaps it has something to do with Rose being a Derse dreamer, while John is a Prospit dreamer? But in that case I’d have expected it to come up in the text. Instead it just goes unremarked.

Rose goes on a massive alchemising spree and ends up creating the Thorns of Oglogoth, a pair of wands.

The needles seem to shiver with the dark desires of THE DEEP ONE. Any sane adventurer would cast these instruments of the occult into the FURTHEST RING and forget they ever existed.

Instead of throwing the wands away, Rose takes on the enemies camping all over her house, with style.

Meanwhile, Dave goes on another, less visibly productive alchemising spree.

GET ON WITH IT!: 18

FAILURE ARTIST: The SBaHJifier could be considered productive in that it provides foreshadowing cartoons. Wish Dave’s Brain in a Jar came up again.

BRIGHT: Once he’s done creating smuppet variations to disturb the monsters encroaching on his house, he sits down to take a look at those two journals he copied from Rose earlier. One of them is called ‘MEOW’, and is literally just those same four letters, repeated over and over in different orders. The second is ‘Complacency of the Learned’.

There is no way to adequately recap the beauty of ‘Complacency of the Learned’, so we’re just going to show the whole thing:

Frigglish bothered his beard, as if unkinking a hitch in a long silk windsock. A more pedestrian audience would parse the exhibit as nervous compulsion. Behavior to petition contempt among the reasonable. He was however not surrounded by the reasonable, but the wise, a distinction in men that would forever be the difference in history's garland of treasured follies. As a matter of fact, his cadre of fellow wizards were all putting similar moves on their beards as well. The practice would evince thoughtfulness - sagacity, even - if they didn't do it all the time. Standing in line at the bank. Shooing squirrels from bird feeders. Few occasions were safe. Zazzerpan inspected the clue. A single piece of evidence cradled in his coriaceous old man palms. It was a human bone, not striking in the tale it told alone so much as that told by the thousands like it festooning the marshy soil of the mass grave. The grisly expanse bore the texture of a decadent dessert, like one of Smarny's formidable custard trifles wobbled out on wheels for the holidays, to the dismay of a small nation. "You're certain of this?" asked Frigglish. Despite what he was doing with his beard, he was, in fact, immersed in meaningful contemplation. "I am afraid I am becoming more so with each terrible tick groused by that gaudy timepiece slung around your neck." In case it wasn't clear, Frigglish wore a clock Zazzerpan didn't care for. It was magic. "The massacre of Syrs Gnelph was not as written." "What has you convinced it was the hand of our disciples in this blackness?" Executus chimed in. "I believe... I..." a fat face stammered, eyes darting with the guilt of a thief in the throes of an unraveling alibi. "I can summon a... more pressing line of inquiry..." No, Smarny. Nobody was in the mood for a sticky bundt loaf just now. Zazzerpan's ears fell insubstantial to any line of inquiry, pastry-oriented or otherwise. His abstruse contour carved a pondering shape in the fog carpeting centuries-dead. His eleven contemporaries too embraced the muted consternation of their great Predicant Scholar. Few wizards kept sharper adumbratives or read them with such lucidity. When Zazzerpan treated men with silence it was seldom unrepaid by the wise and reasonable alike. It was harrowing to entertain. Zazzerpan the Learned's storied Complacency of Wizards was marked for grander descendence. Disciples hand-picked, vetted by Ockite the Bonafide and tested by Gastrell the Munificent. The twelve sweetest, most studious children a pair of elderly eyes could give their sparkle. Not the ragged guttersnipe so oft-harvested by the common Obscenity, those vituperative little beggars with hearts to corrupt as dropped bananas brown. That these chosen youngsters would turn was not merely unthinkable, but something of a roundhouse to the temporal bones of the Upper Indifference's high chamber of Softskulled Prophets. His wisdom-savaged brow pruned further with recount of his many lessons to wouldbe successors. Lessons to advance humanity's elucidation and prosperity, an outcome this bleak trail now painfully obviated. There were few puzzles The Learned could not suspend and dissect in the recondite manifold beneath his extremely expensive pointy hat. Daring to pitch his cherished pupils in with the foul melange of history's rogues, the heretofore abstract scourge that built up civilizations with ungodly magic and tore them down with joyful malice, would prove an intellectual trespass to make his calcium-deficient bones quake. And more daring yet was the only question that now mattered. Could a bunch of bearded, scraggly old men in preposterous outfits hunt them down? He didn't have an answer. Only a simple observation so blunt and uncharacteristically jejune for the lauded sage it was breathtaking in its selfevidency. "We're going to need more wands." (Wow. Think of something better.)

Wow.

Dave is understandably intimidated by this, and decides to stop reading for now. He puts his copy of the SBURB Beta in the notebook to act as a bookmark, and leaves both books in his room for later.

Then he checks in on Rose, who is burning her version of the MEOW book.

CHEL: Dave inquires about the wizard story.

TG: i thought you hated wizards TG: whats the deal with that TT: I like wizards. TT: What I don't like is my mother's obsession with feigning interest in them to antagonize me. TG: oh man thats so messed up TG: that you think that TG: she probably digs wizards for real just like you and youre blowing shit out of proportion like pretty much always

Once again, we see exactly how fucked-up Rose’s relationship with her mother is. Mom Lalonde has somehow managed to raise a child in such a way that Rose interprets everything her mother does as an attempt to mock and provoke her.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 16

TIER: The Lalondes are pretty damn dysfunctional as a family unit, and considering the zany nature of early Homestuck and its world's weird logic that is saying something indeed.

CHEL: As for the MEOW book, it turns out the gods from the Furthest Ring informed Rose while she was sleeping that the book’s contents are highly dangerous and must be destroyed. Said gods dwell in the sky above Derse; Dave’s never heard or seen them, but Rose points out his dreamself is always wearing shades, listening to music, and distracted by Cal.

TT: You're the prince of the moon. TG: ........ TT: I'm sure they've been meaning to seek a royal audience. TG: ..........................

Davesprite chats to Rose next. She protests at being spied on by two people, but Davesprite asks her why she burned the codebook. She didn’t need to in the future, but according to her future memories of the gods absorbed from her future dreamself, Davesprite appeared to make it relevant by traveling to the past. A sinister and familiar face watches through Dave’s window, soon proving to be the Draconian Dignitary, while Dave and Davesprite awkwardly spout elaborate mixed metaphors about how safe they are, until Dave, embarrassed, says "so i guess ill go back down and burn that book".

As any savvy reader could guess, he’s too late. The prompt suggests that he should go back in time to stop the books from being stolen, but, well...

It looks like you already tried that. GORE GALORE: 10

Dave looks completely undisturbed, but whether he is undisturbed is a different matter. He flings the corpse out the window into the lava, claiming it would freak Jade out.

John, in the lab, presses a button, causing the first monitor to depict his town, shortly before his birth. There is a Betty Crocker factory and a shopping mall, neither of which are in the town now. Zooming in locks a target over Nanna Egbert, who is taking a stroll with Dad. A meteor looms; this looks like it’s going to go very badly, considering the target lock, but it hits the factory instead. When John presses the glowing blue button, a PARADOX GHOST IMPRINT of Nanna is created; refer back to Rose’s experimentation in the lab and the green slime blobs. This time, the slime is sucked into a tube.

The next monitor does something similar with Grandpa Harley on his ship, and the next the same with Bro Strider, who stands over a meteor crater on an unseasonably warm day; something of an understatement, as the sky is the same lurid red and the sun the same glowing spiral that they were during the Strider bros’ battle even though it’s December. Bro is, regardless, prepared for the occasion with a small pair of outrageously awesome shades. What he needs these for will soon be revealed.

The fourth monitor goes back to John’s home town, a gigantic crater where the factory once was. In the shopping mall, Dad Egbert stands outside a joke shop, while Nanna apparently remains inside, busying herself with a tall bookshelf, a ladder, and a rather hefty unabridged joke book.

Mom Lalonde, clutching the infant Rose and wearing a rather snazzy long Jaspersprite-pink scarf, has come to town to study the meteor impact at the request of Grandpa Harley while he explores elsewhere. Unfortunately, now is the time a meteor chooses to strike Nanna’s location, destroying the shop.

An old mother lost today, but a new son gained.

Wait for it.

Mom Lalonde flees, dropping her scarf, which Dad Egbert picks up and slightly creepily sniffs. The monitor continues tracking her, and John captures her paradox imprint too, starting the machines whirring away...

Four babies abruptly appear on the pad, already diapered and bespectacled and old enough to sit up unaided. Convenient, no?

When the kitten jumps on a green button, the slime is blended in pairs; Nanna’s and Grandpa’s, and Mom’s and Bro’s. More blinking lights ensue, and another four extremely familiar-looking babies appear.

BRIGHT: I will say this: These kids are adorable.

While babies clamber over him, John vaults up his echeladder to the rank of Ectobiolobabysitter, acquiring one million Boondollars in the process. This automatically converts itself to a Boonbuck, the weight of which smashes his Porkhollow.

Finding out just what is going on here will have to wait, as the comic takes a brief detour to a battleship navigating the Medium nearby. There’s someone very familiar at the wheel…

An old man has much to do before he returns to Earth, dies, gets stuffed by his adopted-yet-biological daughter-slash-grand-daughter, and stuck in front of a fireplace.

Also aboard the ship are Dad Egbert and Mom Lalonde. Dad returns Mom’s scarf, and the two of them hold hands as Grandpa Harley pilots the ship towards Skaia.

We return to the lab, where John has his hands full with the babies. One of them has managed to break one of the paradox slime jars from earlier, but appears uninjured. Also, CG’s trolling him again.

CHEL: CG makes mention of the ULTIMATE RIDDLE, but John is confused because CG hasn’t told him about that yet. He uses an ableist description in explaining.

CG: SEE I KIND OF PAINTED MYSELF INTO A CORNER. CG: I STARTED TROLLING YOU AT THE END, JUST BEFORE THE RIFT. CG: AND THEN JUMPED BACK A LITTLE. CG: AND NOW I GUESS I'VE BECOME RAILROADED INTO WORKING BACKWARDS HERE. CG: UNLESS I WANT TO DO THE SORT OF DUMB SCHIZOPHRENIC HOPPING AROUND LIKE THE OTHERS. CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 18

… why wouldn’t you just hop right back to the start and work in a linear fashion from there?

TIER: Because CG excels at making things complicated for himself and is fundamentally rather stubborn and set in his ways/actions. Like he's made his bed, he's gonna lie in it.

CHEL: Anyway, CG banters with John for a bit, and then informs him that he (John) has arrived in the Veil and created infant versions of the players and their guardians.

EB: so they are like cloned copies of us? CG: NO. CG: THEY ARE LITERALLY YOU AND YOUR GUARDIANS. CG: PARADOX CLONES.

A paradox clone, we are informed, is A CORRECTLY CLONED DUPLICATE THAT WILL INEVITABLY GO BACK IN TIME AND BECOME THE ORIGINAL TARGET THAT WAS CLONED. The game worlds contain many clues hinting at the ultimate destiny of the players to create their own selves through the game, and the only way things could possibly go involved the players creating themselves, or else the game session would never happen.

CG: WHICH IS ESPECIALLY PATHETIC SINCE PARADOX SPACE APPARENTLY WENT TO ALL THIS TROUBLE TO MAKE YOU JUST TO HAVE YOU FAIL AND DIE. CG: REALLY THERE'S NOTHING MORE TRAGIC THAN THESE NULL SESSIONS FULL OF KIDS ENTERING THE GAME AND FULFILLING SOME COSMIC DESTINY SHIT JUST TO GET WIPED OUT AND LEAVE BEHIND AN EMPTY POINTLESS INCIPISPHERE FOR ALL ETERNITY.

Tragic and completely unnecessary, when there are millions of perfectly good humans already in existence who could just as easily create winning game sessions without this aspect of it. Here we see another aspect of Homestuck which hasn’t come up quite so clearly before; an extremely weird take on determinism. I’m not sure if this is meant as a parody of Chosen One plotlines or if Hussie just thought it sounded cool, but it’s uncomfortable. As it turns out, only clones created by SBurb have a hope in hell of winning the game, and even they fail most of the time. Regular people who enter the game to save themselves from the destruction of the planet will fail and die there, which honestly is not really selling this game as a good thing, since it’s what causes the destruction of the planet in the first place. I’ve had actual, legitimate, honest-to-God nightmares about this aspect of SBurb, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

FAILURE ARTIST: I think many fans wish to play SBurb. There’s lots of fan sessions and fake GameFAQs and custom Lands. Yet in reality SBurb is not a fun time. This is cosmic horror. I think Hussie is sometimes playing it for horror and sometimes he ignores the implications.

Then again, some people want to live on the troll planet, which is straight-up dystopia.

CHEL: Again, it isn’t really clear what he’s going for. Is it supposed to be terrifying or did he just think it would be clever? Does even Hussie know what he was going for? While it’s not exactly a joke, I think it’s worth another point here:

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 17

It might be a joke. As I said, I could see it as a parody of or playing with the Chosen One narrative. In this case, literally only the chosen ones have any hope, for reasons that are not down to any merit of their own. But if it is, there isn’t really much made of it.

Of course, the reasons people want to live on the troll planet are reasonable when taken alone, but a) contradicted every alternate scene and b) not a fair trade for everything else that’s going on there. But we’ll get to that when we actually see it. And I admit, SBurb powers would be fun, but not worth the loss of my entire species.

TIER: To me at least it's fun in the same way wondering how I'd fare as a wizard during Harry Potter's years at Hogwarts, or a ninja in Naruto is. Fundamentally you'd rather want to never encounter this sorta stuff even if you get some swanky I guess powers, but the mental exercise of it is quite honestly, really fun. The game has quite a lot of interesting things to poke around with, from lands to quests to what your co-players are up to. And I'm def guilty of playing trollsona games, because the world presented is just really fascinating in its gruesome glory.

Never want to have to actually go through it, Lord knows I'd be dead within the first ten minutes if I'm super lucky, but stories about it are pretty neat.

CHEL: That’s true, but the paradox clones thing seems almost to be taunting us for having that mentality. We can pretend we’d be the super-smart strong competent ones who make it, but in this universe if we demonstrably have parents we’re doomed to die for nothing and there’s nothing we can do about it.

BRIGHT: Another fun thing about this is that it fundamentally isolates the players from the rest of humanity. If you think about it, unless they have children with a non-player, they are completely unrelated to anyone else on Earth.

CHEL: And they can’t have kids with a non-player unless something thoroughly horrible happened, because as is stated later SBurb specifically takes its players away and destroys their planet around the point of their puberty.

BRIGHT: Although I think John is actually related to Dad — as far as we’re told, Dad is in fact Nanna’s biological son, which makes him genetically John’s half-brother.

They also miss out on (going by how active the babies are) the first couple of years of life. Those two years are crucial in terms of brain development. SBURB probably controls for that, but it wouldn’t be surprising if there were negative consequences.

Oh, and if you’re a player, your existence means your civilisation is doomed. Lovely!

CHEL: And do the players ever feel any guilt or conflict over this? Do they hell. It doesn’t even occur to them, and I’m pretty sure it didn’t occur to Hussie either.

TIER: Welcome to the hell game that is SBURB; it's fundamentally pretty fucked up! It runs on a hellish scale of "things have already been predetermined" and I am Big Fear™.

CHEL: That’ll come up later, too, but there it’s obviously intentional nightmare fuel, and not at all a bad use of time travel as a story device.

CG, meanwhile, explains that he was the one to create his session’s players. With twelve of them it was a bit more complicated, but troll lineages are complicated anyway, and we’ll find out how later.

The babies are still getting all over the lab. Note that they're repeatedly referred to as "little pink monkeys". Then again, calling a non-white child a monkey really wouldn't be good.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 18

John’s infant self has latched onto the Sassacre book, while his infant Nanna is sitting in Dad Egbert’s old hat. Baby Bro is napping in the lap of Lil Cal; that baby’s braver than I am, I can tell you that. Baby Dave is sitting on Maplehoof, and baby Grandpa has found a pair of pistols. John does not take them away from him, or even seem to notice he has them.

HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 7

BRIGHT: Earlier baby Bro broke one of the paradox slime cylinders and was sitting in it. John is pretty astoundingly bad at keeping babies away from obvious hazards.

TIER: That or the equipment is probably not sturdy enough to make it past an inspection into faulty management.

CHEL: But then he’s distracted by CG trolling him again, at least this time moving forward in time from the last conversation.

CG, like GA, apparently fails to grasp sarcasm...

EB: we had this great dare going. EB: to see who could be the least helpful and informative. EB: and you totally lost, dude! EB: you were hella helpful. CG: I WAS OBVIOUSLY JUST SPITING YOUR STUPID POINTLESS HUMAN DARE. [...] CG: ANYWAY, HOW COULD WE HAVE MADE A DARE IF I'M MOVING BACKWARDS ON YOUR TIMELINE.

… which is weird because moments later he uses it himself.

EB: do you even have elves? CG: YES, LET'S COMPARE WHICH FANTASY CREATURES THAT DON'T EXIST WE BOTH DO OR DON'T NOT HAVE. CG: WHAT A GREAT FUCKING IDEA, JOHN!

Hussie seems to waver back and forth a lot on whether trolls get sarcasm or not, in general. Since he’s contradicting himself with troll worldbuilding, that’s a point.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 19

Banter aside, he informs John that the babies are sent to Earth via meteors during the Reckoning.

BRIGHT: How do they survive the impact? Some of those meteor strikes destroy buildings. Those are some ridiculously resilient kids.

CHEL: Cut to AR, who is still having fun on the rocketboard, until he runs into a frog temple atop a meteor. This is apparently horrifying and illegal by his standards.

You are going to throw whoever is responsible into the slammer. You always call jail the slammer when you are extra angry at crimes.

Inside, he finds an empty time capsule, like Jade’s, some complicated machinery, and a monitor screen showing a greyscale house with a very familiar bespectacled female infant and dirty old hat in it. The year depicted, says the monitor, is 1910. Enter none other than Colonel Sassacre himself.

Eight days prior, the orphan girl was taken in by an aristocratic southern colonel and legendary humorist. He recovered the young lady from a crater where a bakery once stood, operated by the man's wife, a notable baked goods baroness.

An explosion outside leads them both to a crater, where once stood the doghouse of the colonel’s pet, Halley, but before the Colonel can investigate further he’s shot through the heart.

This is exactly why babies should not be allowed to dual-wield flintlock pistols.

BRIGHT: I remain baffled as to how Baby Grandpa can even lift those things, let alone pull the triggers.

CHEL: Baby Grandpa crawls from the crater, and Halley the dog turns out to be alive.

The young boy has difficulty pronouncing the name though. Sounds more like "Harley" when he says it.

How does he know it? The colonel died before he even noticed the baby was there. Is baby Nanna speaking well enough to tell him yet? I guess he could be told later, as Sassacre wasn’t in fact their only sapient guardian...

Thirteen years later, the boy develops a taste for adventure. He and his guardian bid farewell. His sister is sad. She will be left all alone with the wicked pastry baroness. She can handle it, he tells her. He believes in her.

It isn’t clear why she didn’t go with him, or leave under her own power. They don’t seem to be imprisoned, as the panel depicts them outside on grass with no restraints or guards over them, so it’s not a matter of only one of them being able to get out. That’s a point for Nanna not trying and a point for Grandpa not bringing her:

HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 9

That dog is also remarkably lively, considering it, unlike Bec, is an entirely normal dog, it was an adult thirteen years previously, and it’s somehow supporting the weight of an entire teenager on its back (again, please don’t try this at home, you can break the dog’s spine that way).

FAILURE ARTIST: As we’ve said, Colonel Sassacre is a thinly-veiled Mark Twain expy. The real Mark Twain died in 1910 at the same time Halley’s Comet was in the sky. It’s a cute historical gag having him be literally killed by a comet but it does muck up the timeline. Nanna must have been a senior citizen when Dad was born. Perhaps he’s adopted?

CHEL: The other option is that Dad is a senior citizen now, but surely John would have wondered why his dad is so ridiculously old. I think it’s just that thing in mainstream comics and cartoons where adults are split into Old and Not Old, and the parents are normal ages for parents but the grandparents would have to be in their hundreds going by the gags. See how Scrooge McDuck in the DuckTales reboot is over a hundred and forty years old yet his sister’s son is still a youngish adult.

AR notes that the appearifier is centred over Halley the dog, but hears someone coming. It proves to be the Draconian Dignitary. AR hides and watches, noting that DD is carrying Rose’s notebooks and Dave’s beta envelopes. DD keeps the MEOW book, but throws away the other items. Complacency of the Learned lands on the floor, and the envelopes land in the time capsule, which sets to bloom in four hundred and thirteen million years.

Meanwhile, John talks to CG while infant Mom Lalonde pets the mutant kitten. John asks if there’s any way to delay the Reckoning, but nope; CG warns him that the smallest meteors will start going in only a few minutes.

EB: ok, well you keep saying how doomed we are and how all this bad stuff happens sooner, but you never say why! EB: what happens in our game that's different from yours that makes things go so badly? CG: JACK NOIR.

The Jack Noir from the trolls’ game session allied with them and helped them dethrone and exile the Black Queen, while the one from the humans’ session, as you may recall, killed the Black Monarchs and gained their powers, and is currently rampaging through the Incipisphere. John asks if it’s the same Jack Noir, but CG explains.

CG: SO LET'S SAY YOU PLAY YOUR BANDICOOT AND I PLAY MY BANDICOOT. CG: THEY ARE ESSENTIALLY THE SAME BANDICOOT, SAME APPEARANCE AND DESIGN AND BEHAVIORS. CG: BUT THEY ARE STILL COMPLETELY SEPARATE BANDICOOTS ON SEPARATE SCREENS. CG: SO WE BOTH HAVE OUR OWN ASS BANDICOOTS TO OURSELVES, THE SAME BUT DIFFERENT. CG: OUR JACKS ARE THE SAME BUT DIFFERENT TOO. CG: SAME GUY, DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES AND OUTCOMES. CG: OUR JACK TRUMPED THE QUEEN, BUT GOT NO FURTHER. CG: YOUR JACK GOT THE BEST OF BOTH OF THEM, AND IS NOW SOMETHING HIGHER THAN A QUEEN OR A KING… EB: like an ace? CG: SURE OK.

The trolls don’t know what went so differently to cause the two Jacks to behave so differently, but CG doesn’t think it matters by now. John interrupts him, deciding to do yet another Con Air ending re-enactment.

Watch on YouTube

Recap: montage of Con Air posters and images to the tune of “How Do I Live Without You”. John hands the thoroughly disgusting Con Air bunny to the protesting baby Rose, while CG watches huffily on his monitor. Jade demands a toy too, so John hands her the bunny he received from Rose in an excessively dramatic fashion. CG frustratedly hits himself in the head. In scribbly crayon-like drawings, Casey the salamander performs a drum solo with glowing blue mushrooms for drums and the Con Air plane crashes. More Con Air imagery, John embraces baby Jade and the baby Lalondes while sobbing; GC points and laughs at him over CG’s shoulder and they have a slapfight. John imagines himself in Nic Cage’s iconic wifebeater and mullet and performs an air guitar solo.

TIER: Lemme tell ya, as someone who's only experience with this darn movie is whatever pops up courtesy of John this sequence is just a trip and a half. Possibly a higher number.

CHEL: Cut to end-of-act curtains; they open on the next page, declaring a PSYCHE; there are more pages to go.

Cut to Dave’s hands, covered in the dead Dave’s blood. I… guess he’s supposed to be staring at them in shock? It’s impossible to tell through his shades. For all I know he could be worried about the cleanup. GC trolls him and they banter creepily, with her demanding to know what his blood smells like and him taunting her about her blindness.

TG: just him and me TG: havin a see party TG: like a couple of eagle eyed bros peepin shit up into the wee hours GC: D4V3 GC: C4N 1 COM3 TO YOUR S33 P4RTY? TG: i guess but youll have to be careful not to stumble around bumping into all the gorgeous masterpieces hanging around everywhere TG: god so beautiful to look at with my perfect eyesight GC: C4N 1 L1CK TH3 P41NT1NGS? TG: yeah thats fine

Neither of them seems to take it particularly hard. If there was narrative around the dialogue, I think we’d get a better grasp of how Dave feels. Lacking much body language or punctuation, tone is a bit tricky to get.

FAILURE ARTIST: There’s a character later who gets a lot of grief for insulting her blindness but reading what John, Dave, and CG say I don’t know how that character could be worse.

CHEL: AT, meanwhile, is trolling Jade, rather politely. He even takes time to ask if she’s having a good nap. She’s worried about John’s dreamself not waking, and AT scrolls into his view of the future timeline, but can’t find John awake, nor see into his dreams. Jade, however, will wake up soon, and she thanks him for this report. Unfortunately, when Jade wakes up she will be in danger, and AT can’t see any further. He tells her CG wants to talk to her about her exploding robot. He can’t see whether it exploded or not because there are a lot of explosions, but asking future Jade shows it did, and that she declared CG to be a pretty nice guy, which surprises AT since he doesn’t think CG is particularly nice. Jade says she thinks AT is nice too, and asks why he’s the only one who talks to her while she’s asleep.

AT: bECAUSE YOU HAVE A ROBOT, tO LET YOU SAY THINGS THAT HAPPEN, oN PROSPIT, AT: aND i'M CURIOUS, AT: bECAUSE THE ONLY TIME i EVER HAD FUN PLAYING THIS GAME WAS WHEN i WAS ASLEEP, AT: bUT NOW ALL OUR DREAM SELVES ARE DEAD, AT: }:'(

AT happily remembers his own time on Prospit, and we cut back to Rose, being trolled by GA despite the fact that Rose is obviously in the middle of an epic magic battle. The conversation is understandably chilly, and GA still hasn’t figured out that “Dumb Rose” as opposed to “Smart Rose” was John rather than a bizarre roleplaying scenario.

GC continues trolling Dave. He asks her how she operates a computer without sight.

GC: 1M SORRY D4V3 TH4T YOU W1LL N3V3R 3XP3R13NC3 TH3 S3NSORY BOUQU3T TH4T 1 3NJOY 3V3RY D4Y GC: TH4T 1 3NSCONC3 MYS3LF 1N L1K3 4 W4RM 4ND COMFY B4THROB3 M4D3 OF FL4VOR 4ND M3LODY TG: oh ok TG: so the dumbest and most far fetched explanation imaginable ok got it

Yes, pretty much. This brings me to a Problematykks point; GC is supposed to be blind, but it really doesn’t seem to affect her in any way at all. Its workaround is ridiculously convenient and effective, and while I’m not blind myself, I know many people with physical disabilities hate it when fiction does this. I know I would be pissed off if a piece of fiction showed an easy and convenient way to not have autism anymore. (Horrible, horrible memories of someone back in the days of Livejournal’s Fanficrants of a fic in which autism was somehow cured by having a foursome. I don’t remember how that was supposed to work.) “She’s a space alien” only goes so far in explaining it. Why even bother making her blind if it’s not going to affect her in any way?

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 19

FAILURE ARTIST: She’s the least blind blind person in media. Characters like Daredevil from Marvel Comics and Toph from Avatar the Last Airbender have a Disability Superpower but at the end of the day they still can’t do things like read printed text. GC has no disadvantages.

BRIGHT: She can apparently smell and taste photons.

Which raises the question why none of the other trolls ever show a heightened sense of smell or taste. If GC can learn to interpret smells as colours, her sense of smell must have been that strong all along, and there’s no indication in the text that she’s biologically more sensitive than her companions. Trolls must be better at following a trail than bloodhounds.

CHEL: Synaesthesia which makes one strongly associate colours with smells is a thing, and synaesthesia is generally the word the fandom uses to explain Terezi’s ability, but you still have to actually see the colours for that to work. If she was only mostly blind and was picking up blurry colour patches, I could buy it (and that is how the fandom tends to do it with human AUs), but not if she’s supposed to be completely blind, and she still wouldn’t be able to read text that way.

BRIGHT: Time for another animation, and for a hop back into the recent past.

Watch on YouTube

As the meteor locked onto Dave’s house approaches, Dave climbs up the tower to retrieve his cruxite egg from the nest his sprite made. Unfortunately the sprite attacks him, knocking him and the egg off the tower. Bro Strider appears on top of the approaching meteor and slices it in half with his katana; the two halves are diverted by the blow and strike different areas of the city. Dave’s fall is broken by a rocket board, which is presumably how Bro got up to the meteor in the first place. (How did he manage to aim it to intercept Dave’s fall? Wouldn’t it take longer to get from the meteor to Dave than it takes for Dave to fall from the top of the tower to the roof of the building? We shall never know.) The egg hatches, and Dave is transported into the Medium. There’s no sign of what happens to Bro.

CHEL: Yet more cartoon physics around the Strider bros.

BRIGHT: I don’t know if we mentioned this earlier, but although Dave and Bro live in an apartment block that presumably housed multiple people, only Dave’s apartment gets transported into the Medium. Everyone else in the complex is left to die on Earth. SBURB is sociopathic.

Elsewhere in the Medium, back in the present, Grandpa’s ship is approaching Skaia, with Mom Lalonde and Dad Egbert on board.

Down on Skaia, Jack Noir draws his sword and slaughters the army WV raised to march on the Black King. WV cowers, but Jack leaves him alive. He then uses the Black Queen’s ring to send some sort of giant red tentacle attack through Skaia, slaughtering Dersite and Prospitian forces indiscriminately.

CHEL: Are they tentacles? I always thought of them as some sort of lightning lasers.

BRIGHT: That makes a lot more sense!

In the ectobiology lab, as the clock ticks down to the Reckoning, the babies are teleported to asteroids around the lab. There must be an air supply in this asteroid belt — characters are consistently shown as being able to survive outside.

CHEL: Maybe it’s just the players’ natural badassery. Batman Can Breathe In Space.

BRIGHT: On Skaia, CD makes his way through Jack’s slaughter fest, which has now ravaged a sizeable chunk of planet, and hands him the White King’s sceptre. Jack raises the sceptre and initiates the Reckoning. The meteorites start to vanish into Skaia’s defence portals. In the frog temple, DD somehow combines the MEOW genetic code with a paradox clone of Halley, creating Jade’s guardian Bec. Bec’s creation damages the laboratory equipment in the temple.

Cut to Jade, who is snoozing peacefully while her dream self explores Prospit. She looks up at Skaia, to see Jack’s shadow passing in front of it. Jack launches his tentacle attack on Prospit, slaughtering the inhabitants, then severs the chain attaching Prospit’s moon to the planet. The moon begins falling towards Skaia.

Jack then flies to LOHAC, where he encounters Bro Strider on one of the turntable mesas. Unexpectedly, Bro is able to give Jack an even fight. After a few exchanges, he drives his katana into the mesa; some sort of golden light emanates from the crack, and Bro absconds.

Wait, how did Bro get onto LOHAC? How did he survive the meteor impacts?

TIER: The ol' "rule of cool". As long as something is sufficiently "absolutely kickass!!" the rules of reality and physics can go sit on the bleachers twiddling their thumbs for all they fucking matter. There's a reason early fandom pinned down Bro as an unorthodox but immensely cool older brother type guy for so long. Because with what little information was available before we got bludgeoned with "No actually he was the absolute fucking worst thing to happen to Dave and fucked him up for life" that was the general impression he gave off.

CHEL: This and the meteor splitting are yet more reason not to take Bro’s treatment of Dave seriously; this is a world in which ludicrous animesque badassery rules the day, and physically impossible feats of battle occur every five minutes. Forcing a child to go through extensive and excessive sword training in brutal heat in a precarious place, possibly every day, ought by rights to be normal there, and I can’t believe he was physically hurt by swordfighting when he survived a meteor collision as an infant. Besides, training that extensive quite possibly could be the only thing that would keep Dave alive in these circumstances.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 18

BRIGHT: There’s a random Squiddles interlude, and then we return to Skaia.

John’s unconscious dream self has fallen out of Prospit’s moon as it plummets towards Skaia. Jade tries shaking him awake, and then slaps him, but to no avail. At the last moment, she throws him out of the path of the moon, and her dream self is then killed when it lands on her. Back on Earth, her dreambot overloads and explodes.

CHEL: Taking her tower room with it; Jade’s sleeping body plummets towards the earth.

BRIGHT: The moon leaves a gigantic crater in Skaia. John’s now-conscious dreamself hovers above it.

The babies vanish through the defence portals to Earth.

CHEL: Each takes an item with them. John takes the Sassacre book, Rose the first Con Air bunny, Dave rides Maplehoof, Jade takes the bunny Rose gave to John (which is in fact the Con Air bunny plus several years and repairs), Nanna sits inside Dad’s old hat, Mom takes the mutant kitten, Bro sleeps in the lap of Li’l Cal, and Grandpa dual wields the flintlock pistols he should not be allowed.

BRIGHT: Dave and Rose reach the Gates above their houses and set out to explore their Lands. We close on an eerie shot of Bec outside the frog temple on Jade’s island at night.

CHEL: Jade’s tower room is blown to bits, and a truly enormous meteor hovers over the scene.

Curtains close. End of Act 4. Before Act 5, we receive a message from Rose, via her GameFAQ.

[ZZZZ] Rose: Egress. This is my final entry. My co-players and I have made every earnest attempt, with occasional relapse, to play this game the right way.

Really? You haven’t been in the game for more than a couple of hours and Jade still isn’t in at all! Maybe consider that the fact that not all your players are in the game yet when you wonder why it isn’t working?

I have been meticulous in documenting the process to help our peers and successors through the trials should we fail. In my hubris I believed these classes were relegated to the Earth-bound, but in even this quaint supposition I was in error. Our otherworldly antagonists have assured us of our inevitable failure repeatedly, while the gods whisper corroboration in my sleep. I believe them now. I just blew up my first gate. I’m not sure why I did it, really. I am not playing by the rules anymore. I will fly around this candy-coated rock and comb the white sand until I find answers. No one can tell me our fate can’t be repaired. We’ve come too far. I jumped out of the way of a burning fucking tree, for God’s sake.

I can see her point. The game is horrible and should be stopped. On the other hand, I’d at least attempt to spend more than one day investigating it before trying to break it. Randomly destroying shit is more likely to make things much worse than anything else.

I have used a spell to rip this walkthrough from Earth’s decaying network, and sealed it in one of the servers floating in the Furthest Ring. The gods may disperse the signal throughout the cosmos as they wish. Perhaps it will be of use to past or future species who like us have been ensnared by Skaia’s malevolent tendrils. In case it wasn’t clear, magic is real. Pardon my egress. You’re on your own now.

This note is signed with a glowing multicoloured “RL” and revealed to be emitted from a purple box with an aerial, floating in space. It seems that’s how their internet’s still working.

FAILURE ARTIST: The internet seems to be a magical dimension in Homestuck and not something that’s part of physical infrastructure.

CHEL: Hours in the future, WV lands in the desert remains of Earth, wrapped up in John’s old ghost-patterned bedsheet, which is still white. A villein becomes a vagabond. In his memory, he tears up an effigy of Jack Noir… where’d he get it? Did the game create it for some reason? Anyway, John’s blanket falls on him from the sky as Prospit plummets; WV calls it a RAG OF SOULS. Adorably melodramatic.

John’s awoken dreamself gazes sadly at Jade’s deceased one, which for some reason isn’t actually under the rubble of Prospit and appears to still be three-dimensional. There’s no excessive blood splatter like with the dead Dave, which is good, not too over the top. He retrieves the Queen’s ring from her hand. Was he told at any point that it’s important? Because if he doesn’t know, I’m not sure robbing the dead is very heroic. He sees an image of himself flying over the battlefield in a large cloud above him; in the vision he’s near a castle, so he goes to seek it out.

On Earth, PM wraps herself up in an old Prospit banner. A mistress becomes a mendicant. In her memories, she has beheaded the Hegemonic Brute and is arranging a meeting with Jack Noir. He arrives and she presents the crowns; smirking evilly, he honours their bargain, and the Courtyard Droll brings her the green parcel. She brings it to the castle from John’s vision as he arrives there, hands over the box, and angrily walks away.

FAILURE ARTIST: She’s Honor Before Reason (maybe she’s programmed that way) but she has the right reaction. This is a lot to go through to deliver a package.

CHEL: Inside the box is a letter from Jade’s unknown pen pal, who writes in dark green and a distinctive jolly-hockey-sticks dialect, with a tendency to ramble off on tangents about movies and wrestling.

Anyway you should listen to jade from here on out john because she sure seems to know whats best for you. Whatever your adventure throws at you im sure shell tell you you can handle it. She believes in you.

And another letter from Jade.

even though its super late and you probably went through a lot of trouble to get it, i really hope this present cheers you up! you looked so sad while you were reading my letter. um... which is to say, the one you are reading now.

She explains that in her dreams she goes to Prospit and John’s sleeping dream self is there, and that’s where she gets her visions. She hopes he likes his present, and says her penpal is fun…

john i am REALLY looking forward to seeing you when you wake up!!!!! its been nice playing with my prospitian friends and all, but also kind of lonely knowing you were in the other tower sleeping and having lousy dreams. :( im not sure where i am when you are reading this but im sure ill make it down to where you are soon! (jeez how did you get down there??? oh well ill find out) i cant wait to fly around the moon with you and show you all my favorite places. itll be so much fun!!!!!!!!! :D <3 jade

Ow. I think this is the only time John cries in the entire comic.

A Single Tear(™) is a bit of an understated reaction to the death of one of your best friends who you just recently learned is also your twin sister, but to be fair, John isn’t left with very much time to react, as next panel Jack Noir’s sword is pointed at his face.

BRIGHT: John knows about dream selves and waking selves by now, I think?

CHEL: He knows they’re a thing but I don’t think he knows they count as backup lives. AT told Jade dream selves can die separately from regular selves but I don’t think anyone told John.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jack Noir wants the ring, but then he’s stopped by Jade’s gift: a robotic bunny wielding multiple weapons.

They line up for a fight.

Hours in the future, on a destroyed planet, AR wraps police tape around himself and becomes a Aimless Renegade. Before the disaster, he went to the Veil, where he found a sleeping John. He saves John by putting him on a rocket board.

Back to the robotic bunny. Jack Noir flies away from the fight. Grandpa’s battleship lands and Grandpa takes away Jade’s body. Mom and Dad disembark the ship and wave goodbye as it leaves. Grandpa cries a Single Tear as he transports Jade’s already taxidermed body. Did he have a machine?

CHEL: For that matter, why isn’t he helping anyone who’s actually still alive while he’s there?

HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 10

FAILURE ARTIST: Nope, transporting a dead body is more important.

Again going back, White Queen leaves Prospit. On landing, she becomes Windswept Questant and wanders the Earth. We go forward years later. She repairs the laboratory and meets up with AR, WV, and PM. WV’s homemade spear hides the ring.

John watches this scene through the clouds of Skaia. He looks at the ring in his hand. In another cloud, there’s Jade’s laboratory. We close in on it and inside is The Fourth Wall. It isn’t turned on, but we are still lead to Andrew Hussie, banging away on a computer keyboard as he recaps the plot for a second time.

CHEL: Which we shall do as well when we’re done with this section, because it’s insanely hard to keep track of everything.

FAILURE ARTIST: Andrew Hussie says Nanna’s comet landed 99 years before John’s “birth” so he has some clue about the age but still doesn’t see it odd that a woman that age has a son who is probably only in his thirties.

CHEL: As I said, it’s also possible Dad was really old too, but that’s never really suggested. Not to mention, since they were brought into existence as toddlers, shouldn’t the kids be noticeably older than the ages given for them? John should be biologically fourteen to fifteen by now and at that age that can make a visible difference. I know the art style doesn’t really give clues, but no one I’ve seen has ever pointed that out in fanfic either.

FAILURE ARTIST: Newborns aren’t distinctive looking and can’t really do the cute things toddlers do. People in TV and movies regularly give birth to six month old infants so it’s not strange.

CHEL: True, but this isn’t TV, it’s a comic, and they don’t have to use an actual infant as a prop here.

BRIGHT: Possibly it’s intentional. Among other things, we see the newly-created players survive short trips through vacuum, crash-land on Earth without even minor injuries, and handle weapons they shouldn’t be able to lift for another four or five years. This could work if players have superhuman abilities (that is, beyond the classpect system). If that was the intent then it really should be made more explicit, though.

Of course, what it really boils down to is that Homestuck runs off Rule of Cool and Rule of Funny, and occasionally breaks down on examination as a result.

On the whole this is a solid Act, I think! We have a lot of new stuff happening, more characters get introduced, and we find out some more about the trolls. It’s much less rambling than Act 1.

COUNTS ALL THE LUCK: 0 ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 18 CALL CPA PLEASE: 8 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 19 GET ON WITH IT!: 18 GORE GALORE: 10 HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 15 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 10 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 0 RELATIONSHIP GOALS?: 1 SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER: 1 SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS: 0 WHAT IS HAPPENING??: 9 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 19 TOTAL: 127

#homestuck #Let's read #homestuck meta #reread #literary critique #sporking #Homespork

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