#there were some thing i enjoyed but overall it wasnt great

[meatsouuuuup]

I’m not one to be negative online but I’m so bitter about the owl house finale

[littencloud9]

honestly i love that they changed the secret tunnel episode to focus on katara and sokka instead. love comes in more than one form and their sibling duo is so underrated 🫶

[gizkasparadise]

2023 wrapped: kdrama edition!

taking a page from @dangermousie, here's a list of all the kdramas ive watched this year, in order from least liked to most liked! because i dont have a spotify wrap-up to share :'D

cdrama one here!

and i'll do a webtoon one too /o/

overall i didnt watch too many kdramas this year, and finished less. kind of a "meh" kdrama year for me overall (with 1-2 exceptions). with that in mind, full disclosure that i didnt love a ton of what i watched this year in kdramaland:

we barely knew ye: ones i dropped only a few eps in

sweet home 2. dropped after ep 2. direction it went in is v much not my thing, my fave surviving characters were either killed off or put on the bench, and im not that motivated to see what happens next. might jump back into the franchise if word-of-mouth on s3 is good, we'll see

moon in the day. first ep was actually great and i enjoyed it a lot!! but im not doing cancer storylines rn so that killed momentum. may try this one again later

king the land. watched the first ep. simply did not vibe.

death's game. ditto ^

black knight. i LOVE a good dystopian scifi. this was not that. i was really bored after the first ep and didnt bother with the rest

my dearest. i watched the first ep and liked it, but just wasnt in the mood/wasn't immediately hooked. i'm going to give this one another try when i hit the Angsty Sageuk craving again

dramas i watched at least half of

6. twinkling watermelon.

it's pretty wild to put what i believe is the current #1 show on mydramalist as my bottom pick for the year, especially since it's written by my favorite screenwriter, but here we are. this one is far from objectively the worst drama but it's here because it made me the most mad!! the female lead and second male leads were both off-putting and selfish to me, and the whole drama i was actively rooting for ryeoun's earnest and endearing male lead and shin eun soo's underwritten second female lead to escape and have mother/son adventures on their own away from the rest of everyone else

5. arthdal chronicles: sword of aramun.

sigh. i was a big believer/supporter of this season, even with all of the recasts. but despite a few moments of brilliance, it was overall a slog to watch and just kind of joyless. too much time spent on the ago tribe, too many nonsensical victories and deus ex machina coincidences, and the bag was very much fumbled with some of the characters (particularly saya, who was to me the most interesting character in s1 and you KNOW ljk could have rocked that ruthlessness). positive standouts were kim ok bin flawlessly scene-chewing as taealha and lee joon ki working what he was dealt

4. worst of evil.

adored this drama for the first 2/3rds! it was gritty, neo-noir that reminded me a lot of the old school hong kong crime films like infernal affairs. lots of style, great acting, messy and flawed characters. but the last arc/ending was a boring dud for me. still very much enjoyed the ride up to that point though!

3. perfect marriage revenge.

so! much!! fun!!! just. full commitment to making a show as gloriously makjang/soap operay as it could get and it was a blast watching because of it. made on pocket lint for a budget but it rocked what it had and a special shoutout to lee min young's absolutely fantastically camp evil stepmother. the excitement died down a little toward the end, but still a good time overall

2. the glory, part 2.

a satisfying ending to a really excellent first half. love that the female lead just got to execute revenge and there was no moral or sanctimonious hangups about it. enjoyed the way the ending was set up as "the adventure continues," and all in all this was a really solid and enjoyable dark drama! only thing that was kind of a bummer is that the time split between airing the first and second halves killed the momentum a little, but that's entirely netflix fuckery and not the fault of the show

moving

hands-down the best kdrama i watched this year, and possibly my favorite kdrama ever. i didnt plan to watch this one because im sick of superhero everything, but the cast got me wanting to at least try it and omg im glad i did. great acting from literally everyone, wild action scenes, and just beautiful characters and dynamics across every level. the family narratives are so, so good and the whole show is expertly grounded in the concept of planting seeds so your children can see flowers. please give this one a try if you're on the fence about it!

2023 kdramas that i plan to watch (but didnt get to yet!)

my lovely liar

a good day to be a dog

my perfect stranger

revenant

mask girl

bloodhounds

my demon

AWARDS

Favorite ship: juwon and jihee from moving absolutely destroyed me in the like 3 eps they were in, so they win this one. he's a gangster who gets the shit kicked out of him for a living and loves stories with happy endings. she's a weary but always brave sex worker (coded, but still) who decides to trust a lonely man crying in the street. i never thought a motion-sensor light could wreck me the way theirs did. "you have worth to me, and i have worth to you."

Favorite FL: song hye kyo's dong eun in the glory just barely edges out han hyo joo's mihyun in moving. song hye kyo needs to play, like, all the villains and anti-heroes ASAP because that's been the most fun ive had watching her. she took on a dark character and rocked it

Favorite ML: juwon from moving, definitely. to quote my older post:

Moving really said hi this is Juwon. he has scars from gunshots all down his arm. he opened a chicken restaurant. he’s a gangster. he loves pro wrestling because the good guys win. he tried to rip out his own galbladder to prove a point. he’s a proud girl dad. he is unkillable. he stands in the street and cries.

Favorite 2FL: lee min young's incredible, over the top, villainous camp queen lee jung hye from perfect marriage revenge was just so much fun to watch and she ate every single scene she was in. 10/10 would watch her throw lawn chairs in a ballgown all day

Favorite 2ML: i would die for bongseok from moving. precious sunshine child who deserves only the best

Best Cast: im a broken record, but moving. so many characters with such great depth given to them and this was truly an ensemble show A+++

Best WTF: yura eating her paternity results in perfect marriage revenge!!

[typekiku]

thoughts on TYPE MOON stuff

well these are my the type moon stuff i have read or watched or whatever so far. this is my opinion only so its inherently correct argue with the wall or touch grass as the youth say SO here it goes drum roll

FATE EXTRA

boring as shit. no joke im sorry its just booty cheeks but of the not sexy kind. its beyond mid its so mid i cant even act like i enjoyed it. it has an interesting concept and world sure but everything else is doo doo butter.

only good part is nero being hot asf and ig whatever servant there is because i only used nero (lmao i aint playing it all over again) she was funny at times

see shes hilarious at times... im sure CCC will change my mind... right? it has sakura what am i saying its PEAK

also fuck them for including arcueid in this crap

GARDEN OF SINNERS

i honestly dont have much to say about this one it never really clicked with me nor did i ever feel anything about it... BESIDES TOUKO

TOUKO IS SO HOT OMG

clears throat

that aside yea i genuinely dont have any opinion on this series of movies good or bad besides movies 3 and 5 which were my favorites

maybe i need to rewatch em one day and really try to get into it

FATE STRANGE FAKE

my favorite spin off in the whole fate franchise. it has some of my absolute favorite characters and GIL like what else would one even want in life amirite

some of my favorites are:

Richard: the absolute goat and one of my fav servants ever

Enkidu: i want a spinoff of gil and enkidu... is that so hard to ask??

Flat: my son

Jack: my uhhh child ig

alcides: the closest we will get to archer herc but just pure cool regardless

hansa: cyborg priest. nothing gets cooler then that

and many more im already too ti- FILIA - red to mention

i've only read up to volume 7 so i gotta get to reading the rest soon

its just pure chaos and is fun while doing so despite being slow as shit

FATE GRAND ORDER

ok this is the most complicated series here in a way since its so incredibly mixed.

there are some of the highest peaks in fate and then some of the lowest lows so lets see

Highest peaks:

babylonia

Camelot

lb5 (YES olympus and atlantis im tired of acting like olympus isnt peak NO heian kyo its mid)

LB6

the rest of the lostbelts are good but not that good

goetia is an incredible villain

lowest lows:

first five singularities

solomon im sorry the stuff with goetia was peak but the rest was average

gameplay

gacha

serious lack of male summer servants like cmon i wanna see them abs

overall fgo is alright but some parts of it is straight up incredible HOWEVER all of it is seriously held back by being a gacha mobile game and has to work around that limitation

also it has barghest whom i absolutely adore

also fuck fgo for forgetting medea...

WITCH ON THE HOLY NIGHT

now this is peak. the most gorgeous tm work by far i have to say its simply an incredible read all around. even tsukire did not look or work or sound as good as mahoyo did even tho it came out almost ten(?) years after

on the story front i loved it too with a special shoutout to soujuuro being one of my favorite characters in TM (i say this often not my fault type moon keeps releasing bangers)

however mahoyo has two issues for me:

the story is clearly incomplete: i dont mean its just nonsense or whatever but when nasu said its the first of a trilogy you can just feel that in the story with alot of things being left in the air. this wouldnt be an issue really if mahoyo 2 wasnt basically dead....

i didnt vibe with the slice of life scenes as much as i usually do in nasu works: this isnt a flaw in the story more so i just didnt like em idk how else to word that

mahoyo is a great read however and i highly highly recommend you read it or else

it also has touko enough said

TSUKIHIME (original version)

Greatest of all time. Zenith of the medium. Hallmark of media. Gold standard of storytelling. Apogee of creativity. Vertex of invention. Crest of ingenuity. Acme of imagination. Pinnacle of innovation. Epic of epics. Legend among legends. Peak fiction

ok fr tho its actually incredible and you should read it right the fuck now

all of the characters are simply chefs kiss. while the visual novel is incredibly dated and the art is even worse you have to understand this is nasu and takeuchis first ever visual novel made on a barely existing budget.

boy do they make up for that.

the vn is split into two with a near side and far side.

while the near side is really good with arcueid and ciels route (ignore how ciel was actually really fucked over even in her own route its laughable and my girl deserved better) the far side is so much more better and really is where the soul of tsukihime and shiki the main character lies

i cba to review it properly besides saying PLEASE READ IT RN or ill cry and you dont wanna see that do you....

heres my ranking of the routes btw best to worse:

hisui

kohaku

akiha

arcueid

ciel

shoutout to satsuki you finally are gonna get the route you deserved

KAGETSU TOHYA

um it has some cool lore and some really good short stories and... yea thats about it...

dont have much else to add...

play it with a guide because the structure of the game is abysmal

FATE STAY NIGHT

what is there to be said about such a masterpiece? what else could be written about fsn that hasnt been written before? i am but an ant in the shadow of the giant that is FSN only seeking some crumbs to feed and live off of. idk what that means but it sounds cool.

FSN is simply tms best work all around. while i prefer tsuki over it and find the tsuki side of TM more interesting FSN overall is much stronger on most fronts but especially its main characters

Shirou emiya is simply the goat nothing else to be said tbh

heres my ranking of the routes:

issei route

heavens feel

ubw

fate

FATE ROUTE MUST BE REANIMATED RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SABER DESERVES TO HAVE A PROPER ADAPTATION RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

we need more medea and kuzuki holy shit are they cute

FATE HOLLOW ATARAXIA

thank you type moon for making a good kagetsu tohya. its actually impressive just how much better this is then KT like seriously what the fuck did they take to drop this banger of a vn

KT had such shit comedy i didnt even giggle throughout it but THIS

THIS is a emotional rollercoaster of a whole different kind.

introducing the third (arc and medea are first and second) love of my life Bazett and angra we go through an incredible main story intermingled with hilarious and wholesome slice of life scenes that never overstay their welcome

this vn completely changed my opinion on some characters especially illya who went from someone i was kinda 50/50 on to adoring her overall

ALSO MEDEA SCENES YES I WON MOTHERFUCKERS I WO- huh? whats that? fgo basically replaced her with medea lily?

one hour of sobbing later

if you have read fsn and not FHA then i must ask you.. wtf is wrong with you psycho? you like missing out on good things? that wouldnt be me is all im saying

read it.

(in case you're wondering yes there is someone i deliberately didnt mention because my opinion on them is too complicated)

TSUKIHIME REMAKE

im not a fan of remaking classics on the level of tsuki. with all its flaws i still find the original to be good enough to not need a remake...

UNTIL I READ THE REMAKE

this is how you do it folks. the story was elevated on nearly every level and if it was the complete story id say its the best ever in existence ever forever fr. its just that good.

there are three things i really want to point out:

while maybe goin overboard i really liked the buffs all the characters received and in general the whole worldbuilding is so much better now with idea bloods and principles and vampire hierarchies and arcueid inflation scenes (heh) its just epic

ciel got a so much better route that actually feels like a ciel route and not just arcueid route 2 electric bugaloo (and getting fucking cucked)

noel is peak

this is peak type moon and when red garden comes out it will be even BETTER especially with satsuki route because satsuki deserves it

there are some other short stories i havent mentioned like garden of avalon, notes, MAGNITUNING (look it up you wont regret it) its all great and worth the time of reading

eventually i wanna play CCC and read some other stuff like maybe prillya DDD, fgo jp like lb7 traum and whatnot

i just wrote this for fun so dont really take anything i say seriously except for the teeny little part where im inherently correct.

uh if you are reading like or share or whatever tf it was idk

ciao

[cestacruz]

i've seen some FATE genderbend tierlists. and i've heard it explained as that S-tier and not genderbend are nearly interchangeable. BTW no neither okita nor Nagao are S-tier, they're usually B-tier, but ibaraki is usually in the S-tier. blah blah blah. personally my favorite genderbends are the 1s that could work, or're really nifty

I like most of them tbh, AND ALSO, there aren't as many as one would think

Like fate is "known" for this trope of making historical men into women but like, compared to the overall number of figures who kept their historical gender(?) , its not that many?

Putting a read more because i just start going into the ones i remember and sht, ALSO ITS MESSY AS HELL BECAUSE IM TYPING AS I REMEMBER and i make a lot of clarifications because i like to overexplain myself!

And ANOTHER clarifications are

1. This is all written from what i personally remember and interpreted from the source materials

2. Me saying this isn't stopping anyone from continuing to Headcanon something different

Some of them are like "yeah i was a woman all along who enjoyed the privileges of a man's life while still being a woman but ig people didnt like that so they recorded me in history as a man" (iirc francis drake is this one, so is yoshitsune)

The "i was a woman but i faked being a man my entire life to be allowed to be (a king or a samurai)" (okita** and arturia, one of those two had way more issues with that than the other. And its actually important to the way the lore was written and focused that Arturia was born female lmao because uther rejected her at birth because she was a girl and merlin was the one who convinced him "hey we can still put the dragon blood on her and just raise her as a man yknow" and then uther accepted but then died because his daughter was a daughter (that last part was a joke but theres so many men like that in modern time irl too so :/ the whole plot overall is very genderqueer still i wont deny it) (and then theres Okita who also kinda needed to do it but it feels like it was way less like, necessary for hee to do that, so its easy for people to hc okita as trans (i dont personally but that hc has some Great fics))

** I ALSO HAVE TO SAY THAT i dont remember if they actually ALSO retconned that and okita was just Trested as a man because of gender roles but never Actually bothered or cared to say "im a girl actually" even Now, she gets refered to as "okita-kun" or "okita-san" which are (kun specifically?) more masculine honorifics

Saito gets called with the "-chan" honorific sometimes, iirc

These two existing might confuse people on "wait if ushi was allowed to be a woman and do all the things why wasnt okita" and that's probably because misogyny strikes at any time in history yknow? Probably by ushi's time, they didn't care that much or because it was incredibly war time, they could Afford to care. Meanwhile, okita would have had a harder time because it was less violent times so roles were starting to set into more "men have the violent jobs and women stay inside"

Or "i was in fact a man but i always identified more as nonbinary or as a woman" (iirc nero?? At Least at the start of her lore it was like that. Idk if they retconned it to being similar as the first tho. And ofc trans icon leonardo da vinci)

Im not mentioning all of them because im too lazy rn (or am i... i mostly dont remember)

Jing Ke iirc was also interesting, but i CANNOT for the life of me remember what was her deal

And then there's Sugitani Zenjūbō who was a man but then (Kashin Koji???) Turned them into a woman literally just for fun ??

Actually will add im not sure if Kashin Koji and Sen no Rikyu are or not genderbends

Bringing it back to Arthuriana for this but its funny Gareth was Also a woman the whole time but she Had to fake it if she wanted ti be accepted as a knight UNTIL she participated in that joust and thats when she revealed "ACTUALLY im a GIRL I WAS FAKING THE WHOLE TIME" and King Arthur who is also faking to be a man starts sweating profusely but accepts her and declares her a knight still even tho she was a woman because at least she can do that. The king wasn't allowed to be a woman still, tho, unfortunately."

Jacques, who we know was a man, but the eldritch god transitioned her good for her she refuses to talk about it, tho

Oda Nobunaga, who either was 1. Always a woman and history recorded her as a man because she enjoyed the privileges of a man's life (which is also similar to Yoshitsune/Ushiwakamaru's case), or 2. Literally from a different parallel universe where she was always a woman and the worlds are so similar that she never realized

Musashi we know is from an alternate universe as well

Raikou is also verily implied to be a trans woman in some dialogues but in others is the "i had to be pretend to be a man to enjoy the things i wanted to enjoy" (which also just sounds trans but still, you know what i mean) (i love the hc of Raikou being trans and you will take it from me only when i am Dead, and even Then)

Frankenstein's Monster, who was just built as a woman iirc

Xu Fu literally just a woman now, no changes in the lore to try and explain or anything at all, incredibly gay woman at that too. Love that they make it explicit that she is in Love with Yu Mei Ren and yes it IS romantic. Im gonna go cry again btw

Pollux who funnily enough is just (probably accidental Or Probably not) implied to be trans because she and Castor are identical twins and we know identical twins cannot be different sexes (that OR Castor is the trans one)

Quetzalcoatl who is a genderless god (usually regarded as male) who chose a vessel that happened to be a woman and is living her best life

Kukulkan i Assume is the same case as Quetz

Kiichi Hougen is treated as a woman rn because their current body is female, BUT when they met yoshitsune, they were using a male form. They are agender, tho, btw, not a woman.

Some people might wonder why arent there any genderbends of Female historical figures Into Men in Fate and to that i will point to hundreds of years of history that bury female and queer accomplishments and history by pretending they were all men becsuse "no way a woman could do this"

JUST like Fate plays into with some of the genderbends (like i said, Francis Drake or Ushiwakamaru)

So if they did that it would just, be normal misogynistic history ? Good old "no way women are as competent as a man"

Anyway

Thats all

[everydaydg]

Summer camp season 2 is done!!

Oh man this season is so good!!!

This might the best of the show yet, taking the elements that worked from the first season in order to create a great set of episodes. I enjoyed it a whole lot!

And from here on out... ITS TIME FOR HEARTBREAK BABY

These following seasons are shorter and I know they do go into mildred's background and just generally giving more depths to some characters, I caught a sneak peak of that from a few random eps that aired

Back to that short season thing, season 3-5 are 12-15 episodes long

season 5 is as long as season 2... oh yeah this season was way shorter than the first, forgot to bring that up. just 20 episodes

which wasnt bad. I feel like it did all swings no misses

I liked the touches of serialization in there like hedge being a witch and them using the whole werewolf thing more

overall, really good! I love the first season but this is where alot of my favorite eps are...

I should prolly get some clips of some eps cause why not. there were some funny moments

[narwhalandchill]

anyway tho like. now that ive played the 1.2 story and sat on it a bit id say my overall thoughts are def mixed. i enjoyed a lot of it but theres some things that sorta just stick out or dont work and the pacing definitely worked against the story

(just a long rant/ramble upcoming its not coherent at all lol)

one thing that rly rubbed me the wrong way was like. while overall this story rly sold fu xuan as a character to me (i was a huge fan of her presence overall) the dan shu thing just felt? wrong? and like to be clear it wasnt just fu xuan the scenes writing was off in general but her role in being the one countering dan shus points just made her p central to the problem.

but like my issue is that dan shu is previously established as having very understandable reasons behind her resentment of lan that made her compelling as twist villain imo. Yet that resolve was nowhere in the scene in her rebuttal of the xianzhous ways?? when i think that shouldve been The moment of her calling out the xianzhou and actually challenging fu xuan properly. it wouldve been an even better opportunity to expand upon how fu xuan responds to being confronted with the xianzhous flaws and hypocrisy and problems. but somehow yassified dan shu really just. had a generic villain speech and thats it. the callback to their heritage as former followers of abundance was... fine? but like it wasnt that impactful. and fu xuan essentially calling her nothing but a power hungry villain when thats very much Not what dan shus motivation boils down to sucks and now players who didnt read her diary or play/pay attention to her side quest will think of her as just a generic bad guy and not a very tragic complex figure of her own

then the like. underutilization of blade was just like. ok what was the point. it IS funny to reference the tuxedo mask meme and how he skewers his ex yet immediately gangs up with him against yanqing and all but honestly he shouldve gotten to be more feral and present than he did like its just meh. ig its kafka keeping him from messing up elios script but cmon. i want more of him. yanqing also got done so dirty in that scene like. he shouldve gotten some more screentime and focus even if his job was p much to just get bodied. kid just watched jing yuan make deals with criminals no way he isnt affected by it

in general i was p shocked how inexistent the high cloud quintet was from the story. but ig w how rushed the pacing was for dan hengs backstory reveals at times already ig its better left for later (hopefully). i just rly hope this means that the topic get its time to shine properly in the future. esp since im p sure they never even named any of dan fengs crimes outright which is a curious choice.

jing yuan got a rly solid characterization and i definitely enjoyed it!!! even if im a little miffed at how they didnt give dan heng enough breathing room to come to terms with the emotional impact of facing his past and memories thanks to the plot moving forward so fast and he was kinda the one leading that. but he was still great - i liked the scheming side to him and the arguably pretty ruthless way he leveraged dan hengs exile status to force his hand to cooperate a lot. his reasoning makes sense obvi but its still a very brutal and utilitarian approach and i like that energy for his character. his duty is to the luofu above all else even if thats far from all he is about. overall his and dan hengs interactions including dan heng very much emphasizing his desire to be seen as separate from dan feng were a highlight for sure. and jing yuans final showdown moment against phantylia slapped obviously

and then w dan heng im torn between like. really loving all the good stuff we got with the insane cutscenes and the vidyadhara echoes and then wishing that he got just that little bit more for his own realizations and inner conflict. and the part about not properly featuring blade also hurt his story too imo bc the anticlimactic nature of the scene where blade confronts him and forces the transformation and how he n kafka just... leave rly kinda flattens the impact of the reveal moment esp since thats when jing yuan just all but openly says ok time for the plot. but they still did a great job selling DHIL and i think im overall a fan of how they seem to have handled the dan feng vs dan heng thing (and its roughly what i was expecting). dan feng is dead but its never just that simple either. i hope theyll be exploring the exact nature of dan fengs sins and the sedition in the future

im so mad i spoiled myself the tingyun thing bc jfc the neck snap wouldve hit So hard if the reveal itself was also a complete surprise. and its sth that was genuinely well built up like i remember thinking her 1.0 dialogue was kinda sus but wouldve never imagined the actual truth. dont do leaks folks sometimes this happens and it sucks :/ but i have to say phantylia herself was kinda? underwhelming. i liked when she picked up jing yuan like a little bug she wanted to squish and the boss fight was cool but to be fair. this was like 50% bc of how bad the sound mixing was for all of her dialogue that overlapped w in game battle. she rly lacks the necessary menace and imposing energy when u can barely even make out what shes saying 😭 her voice shouldve been as loud and large as her..... Presence. jing yuan carried the boss fight and the final cutscene but man the fade to black rly didnt do the abrupt ending any favors like we just teleport to exalted sanctum and thats it???? maybe jing yuan dies maybe not!!!

overall my prime issue is p much just how like. it feels like they shoved 3-4 mini arcs worth of stuff into one speedrun when all of them deserved more focus and exploration and the pacing rly got rough at times. it wasnt like inazuma level bad but it does get me wondering if hoyos just bad at doing these big conclusions to prior build up and holding the story threads tightly together until the end.

this comes off as super negative helpp but like. by no means did i hate all of it so dont take it the wrong way lmao. its more that there was good stuff there but also wasted potential. for the most part i was having a blast but to be fair that was 40% just playing blade ridiculously underleveled through it all. i only got him to lvl 80 for the boss fight

[fandommemequeen]

my 2023.

yearly retrospective time LETZ GO!!!

last year i said 2022 sucked but uh,, 2023 was definitely worse :'o)

with the rise in queerphobic legistlation, school getting progressively harder to stay on track with, my dad dying, and just everything else that ive had to endure this year, its been difficult. but.. i somehow made it.

and you might be wondering how i got through everything. did i touch grass and magically everything was sunshine and rainbows? buy some overpriced self help book or online course that changed my life? No <3

i just,, did what i normally do. i played video games, talked with my friends, watched youtube, brainrotted over fandoms, listened to music, came up with cool outfits, somehow made it through skool, drew, wrote, cosplayed, roleplayed, made kandi and crafts, and just overall found ways to find joy in the small things, which goes a long way when youre trans in a world where your joy is an act of rebellion.

i also had some cool fandom moments this year! season 7 of siivagunner has been AWESOME, return to dream land deluxe was great even if it fricked with the lore a little, THE TOH FINALE WAS SO FRICKIN GOOD, marios madness may be my new fave fnf mod, NPMD THREW ME BACK INTO MY HATCHETFIELD FIXATION, i FINALLY got the kirby planet robobot soundtrack cd and the limited edition quiznos training game physical edition, i found ways to actually enjoy WDY again and leave behind itz toxic fandom, i got into pokepasta, tintn, gogos crazy bones, playtime with percy, inside job, tadc, i started listening to mal blum and against me and chonny jash, im currently being dragged into eggotama as we speak and im getting back into mpdsap,,

but the fandom that had the most impact for me this year was the june archive and restoration project. getting into TJA led me to discover bowlbys other works and get into one of the best fandoms ive ever been in, thanks in part to the june archive and restoration project fanserver. ive met so many cool people through that server, and getting to chat and VC with them has always been a blast. [yknow what? shoutout to all my friends that ive loved talking with all throughout 2023 yall are awesome]

back to life stuff for a moment here, i got to do a lotta cool stuff this year! i FINALLY homebrewed my 3ds [with a bit of help from jaco xd], GOT TO SEE THE HAUNTING OF NIGHT VALE LIVE, put together some awesome cosplays for gencon and halloween, im getting better at rhythm games, i got SECOND PLACE in my skoolz national cybersecurity codebreakers competition, i had an awesome bday, i went to go see barbie [my first movie in theaters since lockdown] and fnaf and both were AWESOME!! all of this despite everything thats happened in 2023!

and as for my creative projectz,, DIGIVERSE REBOOT EPISODE 3 FINALLY RELEASED BACK IN MAY!!!!!! holy frick i was SO PROUD of that,, in addition, ive been doing character reveals for gamerz epic megamix take, i created the doomed timelines awoken au, and ive strengthened my artstyle into what it is today while learning how to use my drawing tablet :3

in addition, getting into TJA and watching bowlbys animation legacy made me think about my past as a creator, and i started work on giving my old book ocs from my days in the TWOW fandom the care and attention they deserve, even if it means some slight redesigns or rewrites. speaking of TWOW, EWOW IS OUT AND IM GETTING BACK INTO TWOW AFTER YEARS!! feelz good to be back, and im hoping i can maybe properly host a minitwow at some point in 2024!

overall 2023 wasnt great, but i stayed silly and had fun despite it and i think thatz very swag of me!

now, every time i do one of these things, if i do an overconfident "bring it on" type message at the end i almost always end up regretting it, AND i am absolutely terrified about 2024 so i am not taking my chances!

so i leave u with this sentiment towards 2024 instead:

i gotta survive The Horrors anyway, might as well stay silly and do what i like while im doing it :3

[tsnbrainrot]

now that the three specials are over, i got a bit nostalgic and watched some eps from season 4, but then i just decided to do a whole rewatch of classic rtd.

i just finished the girl in the fireplace, and i know its been said before but wowzers it really is modfat's prototype for the doctor/amy/river era, huh.

i havent watched it since the first time which would have been in 2010, and even then i remember how struck i was by how out of character the doctor felt, and how out of place the episode feels tonally. like when the doctor realized he was stuck in france, its like he completely forgot rose and mickey were trapped on an empty space ship, didnt even spare a thought for them. and they felt like two kids he was babysitting the whole time rather than actual companions.

it made me realize that part of what makes blink and family of blood so good was that the actual doctor was barely present so he didnt have a chance to mischaracterize him lol

oh boy oh boy do i feel all of that anon !!!!!!!!!!

you're right: it's been said to DEATH and by more eloquent people than me, but looking back gitf truly was a giant red flag re: some unbearable m*ffatism (as was the library two parter lbr). which is kind of funny because, despite being a HUGE tenrose girlie, 15/16 yo me looooooved that episode back when i first watched s2. but i feel like with every single rewatch since that first one i get more and more and more annoyed by it. m*ffat hated rose and it really shows etc etc. there are still some elements of it i really enjoy (the monsters kinda fuck and the concept of them trying to fix the ship with human parts is great, as are the whole time window thing. i love when eps blend historical & futuristic. also the soundtrack SLAPS). and i do think as a tenrose supremacist there's a lot of ways to interpret it that REALLY works for their relationship: it's right after the sarah jane ep and the doctor being truly confronted with rose's mortality/having to potentially leave her/lose her like he lost sarah for maybe the first time. (at least the first time as ten??) so him bringing mickey on board and then flirting with someone else to put distance between them/hide from his feelings is something i can work with. and it also works as a condensed echo/parallel of what tenrose's romance MEANS for the doctor; a blink of an eye and she'll be dead. but i dont think that was intentional on m*ffat's part. i'm just doing the heavy lifting.

overall, there's just a bunch of moments where you're kind of going: wtf the doctor wouldn't say/do that ????? even if he wasnt in love with rose (which he IS), he'd CARE that he left her alone. i can buy him leaving to save all those french people cos he wouldn't let innocents suffer.... but he'd be UPSET he lost ROSE and THE TARDIS??? it's bullshit. but then, i hate the way m*ffat writes ten in general (dont get me started on the 50th). and tbh i STILL don't understand why madame de pompadour even ends up falling for the doctor in the first place? it's completely shallow and superficial, like most of m*ffat's romances. it's like he's always trying to write a love at first sight/fairy tale story but he doesn't give it much substance so you're left with something completely hollow. it's emotionally empty.

anyways, he was much better at writing standalone eps than showrunning (imo), but even they haven't aged as well as some others rip.

[turkeyjournal]

Book review: Killers of a certain age by Deanna Raybourn

Just want to preface there WILL be spoilers so, dont read if you dont want spoilers.

OVERALL RATING: 7.8/10

Brief Descripition: 4 old ladies: Billie, Mary Alice, Helen and Natalie have worked for a secret assasination organzation called 'The museum' and forty years have been assasians. When they each are at the time of their life where they are retiring and decide to go on a cruise ship when all of a sudden the get attacked by The museum...

My Personal Thoughts: To be completly honest, i really enjoyed this book. I had alot of fun reading it and it was super fun. I wondered how they could write an action kind of novel in a book. Like how do you even write action scenes but Raybourn proved me wrong. This book is more a thriller/mystery/action type o book and i seriously suggest people read it. I was gonna give it a 8 but everytime they would mention art and descriptions of the art in the book, especially when at the end when they killed the baroness and at the end when they were trying to kill Vance i just got so bored and confused so it kind of ruined the vibe.

I actually thought i found a spelling error but then i found out that the word 'diffident' is a real word. I thought she was saying different but nevermind she wasnt. So there was no spelling errors which is great. I hate when a book has spelling errors it just looks dumb.

The start of the book, so like the first 50 pages were so bored. I think it had a good plot but i was reading it and just felt bored. But ater the first 50 pages, it was like i was stuck. The story was so intresting and thrilling, i loved how the book described every move. Sometimes the fight scenes in this made no sense, like at the end or example. When Billie was fighting Vance, half way i thought "what the hell is going on" and like "how is that move even humanely possible."

Billie was my favorite charcter. She had this kind of cool macho Sylvester Stallone in tusla king feel. It was cool to see a badass and older women who isnt some weird quiet "ive seen so many things and im so dainty and delicate and misunderstood" type of main charcter. Even her realtionship with Tarverner wasnt all angry and stupid, it was really mature and lovely.

During the time when they had killed Sweeney and Helen paused when shooting i thought that maybe Helen had something she was hiding and couldve done some whole betrayel act and played more into that because alot of back stabbing was happening throughout the story, but thats just my opinons honestly.

Overall, would i read it again? Maybe i could. When i rate things 7-8 usually means i really liked the book but it couldve been better and i MIGHT re read it but not 100% likely to. I think the size of the story was really good and i enjoyed it alot and it wasnt a hard read. It did however take me 2 weeks to actually start reading the book but that was only because i had alot to do with school and midterms. But now that i finally got to read it i thourghouly enjoyed it and i will be suggesting people to read this book aswell. I added an actualy picture of the book because last review looked a little dull so i put thisi to make it look prettier.

[pbandjesse]

I had a really nice day. It was fun working from home. It was also kind of hard because I needed feedback and had questions I will have to wait on. But I got a lot accomplished!

I didn't stay home the whole time though. I would go out at one point. I had a very productive day.

I slept alright last night. James had fallen asleep on the couch for a while and I found it hard to fall asleep knowing they were out there. I would go out and kiss them on the head and they said they were sorry and came back to bed. They didn't do anything to be sorry about, but I told them it was okay anyway.

They were already gone to work when I woke up at 9. I am glad I got to sleep in. This whole week I'm going to get to sleep a little longer and that's just so lovely.

I felt good when I woke up. I stripped the bed and tidied up a bit. And went to get washed up.

I had decided I would listen to an audio book today. Since that would be long and I wouldn't have to change it basically all day. I chose one called "The fungus" from 1990. And it was great. I really liked it. It was an apocalypse story about a mushroom/spores that take over London. It was narrated so well. There were some very very random sex scenes, and it talked about rape 4 separate times. But overall I really enjoyed it! It was nice to finish that all today while I did all my little tasks.

I decided to take a shower and wash my hair. I did not use enough conditioner and felt sort of like a lion all day. Just very fluffy hair. But it was very clean and that was nice. I felt a little greasy last night. So this made me feel better, very clean.

James had made me an omelet that they left in the microwave. And it was a particularly good one. I brought it to my studio along with my laptop to get to work.

I would spent the first couple hours of the day designing a holiday card and a postcard to give to couples who get married at camp. I thought it would be fun to have 'happy holidays' in Blackfoot. Which is what language Puhtok is from. And I was able to find it! It is more a direct translation to have a happy Christmas, but it's close enough and a debated translation. I think it's more about use, and I have literally no idea how to pronounce it. But I think it's so cool that we could use that. I hope the office agrees.

The postcard was also fun but I struggled a lot with the language on it. I made a patch design and I think it's very cute but I am not positive it's correct. Next week I will hopefully get some feedback and make it perfect. James did just tell me that I spelled congratulations wrong. Terrible. It's okay I will fix it later.

Once my laptop was on the verge of dying I would decide it was lunch time, and I would go for a drive. I had a few things I wanted to go do, and would get something to eat while I was out.

It was not as cold out, but it was very windy. Which blew my hair all over and did not help the lion hair accusations. But it was not a bad day to be out in the world.

I drove to Glen Burnie. My GPS took me a very strange way through the city to 95. Which was whatever. There wasnt any traffic and it was a pretty nice drive.

I went to value village first. I continued listening to my audio book. I enjoyed walking around and seeing all the lovely weird things. I had some excellent finds today though. I did put some things back but the trumpet candlesticks were a need. I also got a candle stick wall holder that is so lovely. I got two pairs of shoes. And another dear america book. I also got another one of the glass cups I love. I used to have more but I only have one now!! So now I have a second one again. And for $2 instead of the $20 they normally cost. Amazing.

I would pay at the self checkout after walking through the store a few times. Even though it had lights on the lady was super when I needed help when it acted wrong. "I didn't want you to use that one!!" Well then why was the light on?? And you didn't say anything. Whatever. I checked out and headed to tacobell.

It was surprisingly busy. A whole construction crew ordering at the counter. I ordered at the kiosk and had barely any wait. It was very strange.

I was all of a sudden overheated and not having a good time. I had to open the windows while I ate my lunch in the car. But once I cooled down I would feel better and be okay. Even if I had to put the AC on high in the car for a few minutes.

Target was more money then I expected. But I had fun and stuck to my list pretty well. I was very excited about the cookie/truffle tins. They light up!! It's a decoration and a snack! I was very excited for the skirt, which I thought was $10 but was actually $4! I got some hair cream. For the lion hair. And then I was done. And it was time to go home.

It was a fine drive home even if people were dumb and were being bad about merging. But I made it home in one piece.

When I got inside I took some haul pictures to show Jess what I got. And took all the tags off and put things away. And then it was back to work.

I would work on my laptop on the schedule for camp until almost 6pm. This was rough. I went through the whole schedule 3 times. I got some of it sorted. I made a lot of mistakes. I accidentally doubled things up. But I think Im at least going in the right direction even if I don't have it done yet. It was really tough to think I had it, after 3 rounds of typing everything out, and realizing it wasn't correct m it was kind of upsetting. But I need someone else who understands the schedule to give me some answers about who goes tubing and canoeing and how many lifeguards we might have. And it is just a larger task then I think I thought. And I already knew it would be hard!

I still enjoyed my book though. James would come home while I was still working. And we chatted while I worked and they helped me go over the schedule and we thought it was correct and then when I realized it wasn't I had someone to be sad with while I called it a day.

James warmed up leftovers for us. And they went to their room to play DND with friends. And I started reading another book.

Actually reading this time and not listening. I got a copy of "ballad of songbirds and snakes" and read the first 3 chapters and it's great so far. I loved the hunger game series when it came out and I'm excited that I finally am interested in reading the prequel. So then I can watch the movie.

I would take a quick shower. And get changed. I hung out in my studio for a bit. Changing out my piercings. Feeling annoyed with my second hole in my ear. I don't have any good rings for it right now, they are all broken or missing parts. I have some earrings I can wear but I am not thrilled with them right now.

I grilled my bangs and moisturized my face. And now me and James are in bed.

And tomorrow is Thanksgiving. We are going to the Chang's and I am looking forward to that. But during the day I hope to read and do some sewing. I usually hate holidays because it's so much waiting and then I can't function. But I have decided that I am doing these two things so I can't be upset about waiting all day.

And I can just be thankful for my husband and my family.

I am also thankful for you reading this. I love you. Goodnight everyone.

[finalthreshold]

phantom of the opera 1/27 notes that got a bit out of hand.

i tried to keep these short and failed utterly and completely. i just kept having more thoughts about it! trio was paul a schaefer phantom, emilie kouatchou christine and bronson norris murphy raoul, and my thoughts on this performance are mainly centered on them

act i

i'd heard both meh things about paul's phantom and great things about bronson's raoul so i went in with my r/c cap on and was prepared to just... not care as much about the phantom this time? i was braced for disappointment with him.

and then... i was NOT disappointed? i really enjoyed his phantom! he really was giving wet cat energy. and i love wet cats.

i found it a super e/c - r/c balanced show imo? one of the most balanced shows i've seen lately. both were compelling dynamics. emilie had great chemistry with both of them and her christine felt like she had real reasons to care for them both.

bronson's raoul is adorable. he's effortlessly confident, in the sort of natural self-assuredness of a rich guy, but he's so well meaning. little lotte was lovely. a little awkward at first as he began that segued into a sense of familiarity. it really felt like a reunion between two childhood sweethearts who aren't certain at first because it's been so long but quickly find themselves back to their old levels of comfort

paul's phantom had some nice gestures. there was a little bit of the thing where he seemed to lose track of his hands (it happens a lot with his raoul) but it happened infrequently, and it didn't feel as unintentional as it does with his raoul? it felt more like his phantom getting caught up in the moment, like he'd imagined this before and thought he was prepare but now that he's actually here with christine he finds himself at risk of getting overwhelmed by the reality of it? it didn't take me out of the moment when it happened and he overall had nice gestures and felt consistently intentional in his movements, both in how he walked around and his gestures.

he tried to catch her when he fainted! he ran to her with such a look of genuine concern and then was very sweet about putting the cape over her. and he brushed a stray curl away from her face after he did that it was sooooo tender. crying.

he was like, crying by the end of stdyi. such a sad, pitiful little "oh, christine." wet cat! wet cat! he also had a really great crawl towards her, it was so sudden and genuinely disconcerting and the desperation and pitifulness were so palpable.

bronson's raoul was having a great time during il muto. you really feel his adoration for christine, and even though she's got a silent role she seemed like she was really having fun as the page boy! god they were so adorable

oh my god nehal joshi is always funny when he brings forward the ballet but he was extra good tonight. as he ran onstage he was saying "dont make me do this" which i've never heard before? someone please help andre he's going through it.

ALL I ASK OF YOU WAS SO SWEET I THINK I HAVE CAVITIES. like i said i went into this show prepared for some good r/c and i was not disappointed whatsoever! he doesn't come across as dismissive of her at all, and why have you brought me here felt more like "i know you're scared but i don't understand and i don't know how to help me, so help me make this make sense so i can help you." it was really good.

THEIR KISS. AAAAAH. he was soo gentle and sweet and then she grabbed his face and pulled him down for a bigger kiss and oh it was adorable. it was such a wonderful aiaoy

AND A VERY SAD AIAOY REPRISE he was crying up there on his angel! he was so pitiable. wet cat in a cardboard box energy.

act 2

i noticed one of the ensemble characters trying to swipe a champagne glass but the tray was empty by that point and the server pulled the tray away almost disdainfully which was a funny little moment, but i was in rear mezz and wasnt using my binoculars at the time so i couldn't recognize who in the ensemble it was

emilie's twisted every way is so good. i feel like it's just so believable that she could be so truly terrified and lost and also not want to betray him or want him dead despite everything. emilie's christine has so much inner turmoil and it makes me feel so much every time.

raoul, your plan is bad but bronson's raoul is so likable and well meaning it's fine.

emilie's wishing was fantastic again (as always!). i love how she'll almost smile a little bit when she's thinking about her father. it's so bittersweet and fond and it makes the song even more painful to me?

she gave this little resolute smile as she was about to leave and seemed like she was at peace and then when she heard the phantom during wandering child her expression was so... longing but sort of crumpled at the same time like, despite everything she still wants to believe but on a logical level she knows she can't. it hurts :(

i was surprised at how still he was in ponr. there wasn't really any self-caressing when she's singing, like. at all?? that surprised me.

phantom.exe has stopped working. he seemed to get more and more tense during her verse, like he didn't know how to react.

idk. new ponr blocking., gestures vaguely. ponr blocking. yknow. shrugs. i never know what to say about ponr.

she smiled a little bit when she pulled his hood off, which was a sharp contrast to the day before where she almost gasped and looked shocked or horrified at seeing ben's phantom? i was trying not to compare phantoms too much but i saw ben twice in a row so it's sometimes easiest to just compare them especially when things are very different.

he was really sad and pleading when he proposed and she looked so shocked? iirc she shook her head a little at him. she looked very sad and a bit deer-in-headlights.

even in the final lair, he wasn't a particularly violent phantom. like i said, i'd just seen ben twice in a row and was used to his very rough way of putting the veil on her and giving her the bouquet, so maybe it was just the contrast between them haha but he was rather careful about adjusting her veil and smoothed out the ribbon of the bouquet before handing it to her and seemed genuinely surprised when she ripped it out of his hands angrily. (what... did u expect??)

paul's phantom was desperate in the sense of a dying man that is desperate for a salvation he knows deep down he won't get. like he needed to believe he could have christine's love, but at his core he also believed he never could have that, that all he could ever have was the darkness and his monstrosity, and he tries to tell himself that he chooses the darkness.

i think there came to be a certain sense of resignation to his phantom during final lair, where as christine gets increasingly more and more angry and upset with him he begins to realize that no matter what he wasn't going to win either, even if she did choose to save raoul by marrying him.

it felt to me like partway through the final lair it slowly began to dawn on paul's phantom that the reason he ever couldn't be happy now was because his actions had gone too far and the things he'd done had made her hate him more than his face ever could, and he doesn't want to do this anymore but he also can't do anything else. he can't just give up though, because he's come too far and what else can he do at this point but play this to the end?

the way she looked at him in "angel of music, you deceived me" she was so hurt but she also was... daring? there was such an intensity to her gaze.

his "you try my patience" was really good. it was so low, and measured and there was this extended pause between that and his "make your choice." it was both scary and simultaneously gave a feeling that he was on the verge of breaking before she even kissed him.

i also feel like... emilie's christine doesn't have this sudden revelation about him during that part. she doesn't realize all of a sudden that his life sucks because she's already known and she's already felt pity for him.

it's more like she's seen all of these different sides to him all along and never could fully understand him or have a full view of him until now? like she was conflicted because she saw both the angel and phantom sides of him, the monster and the man and wasn't ever certain which one was "real" and feared the monster but felt sympathy for the man and was at war within herself bc of these feelings.

and now she's able to see him all completely, and she doesn't just understand him in that moment but also understands her own feelings towards him and make a certain peace with those feelings. it's a moment i really love in emilie's christine.

bronson be making noises in that noose

THREE I LOVE YOUS AT THE RING RETURN

she tried to say something in return but said "i-i" and then got choked with sobs and the rest wasnt coherent but hmmmmm.

there was such a heartbreaking feeling of finality to his repeated i love yous though? he said "i love you" so mournfully after she left, and it wasn't an i love you she was meant to hear, i feel? his third i love you was when he went to pick up the veil, which he held to his face, and he stumbled on it, a choked, almost-sob "i-i love you" into the veil. i was not emotionally prepared for that let me tell you.

he gave one last long lingering look to the direction christine left before he went to the chair and it just felt so final when he did.

this is a phantom that dies at the end and he knows he's gonna die when he gets in that chair. when he says it's over now he really really means it.

this show was so good. it was my last time seeing it on broadway before it closes and it was so. so good. such a good way to say goodbye to this show it felt so final and bittersweet

[moss-reads]

Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson

Rating: 4.5 ⭐️

"Sorcery of Thorns is a fantasy standalone about Elisabeth, an orphan who was raised in a library that mistrusts sorcerers, and houses magical grimoires that sometimes turn into horrific monsters, but when she is accused of a crime she didnt commit, she must turn to her enemy, a sorcerer named Nathanial Thorn and his strange servant, in order for them to save the great libraries and the world with them" (paraphrased description from the back of the book)

This has been on my tbr since about maybe march of last year when i got back into reading, and picked it up as a birthday present for myself and i think it lived up to the hype!

I found the characters compelling and fully realized, and i loved that it was a high fantasy plot With a romance but wasnt purely a romance and isnt part of a 5 book series i have to devote too much of my time to,and i can see myself coming back to it again later for a reread

I saw a few booktubers i like on youtube recommend it and give it 5 stars, but for me since i was unable to finish it until i downloaded the audiobook, and i wasnt fully invested until almost 20 chapters in, it sits pretty well at 4.5

Also as far as the audiobook goes, Emily Ellet is a FANTASTIC narrator and really brings Rogerson's writing to life and it overall felt cozy at times

Overall i really enjoyed this, and i'm interested in reading more from Margaret Rogerson's catalog! I'm definitely going to pick up the sequel novel as soon as i can

spoilery thoughts under the cut!

I will say that i didnt feel much interested in the story until chapter 20 even with the action and the plot brewing, cause thats when Elisabeth stepped into a library again and also around the same time Nathaniel's manor because the descriptions the author writes are just so incredibly magical and feel like you're in the story, and i loved when it became a mini heist moment, and i am glad that they did introduce the big bad early on so that we could sit with the rest of the world and characters more!

The romance also could have been fleshed out a bit more, it was a bit insta-lovey and i felt more drawn to the character of Silas more than anything so it fell to the side for me, and i think the end was the only thing that made me wish it was maybe a duology cause i wanted more of him! I also loved that Elisabeth was smart yet didnt have all the answers, but wasnt so clueless that every plot point you predict she just absolutely doesnt see coming, which i think was refreshing for stories like this

I did find the explanation of her powers and how she was basically a human booklouse a bit brushed over and confusing, but again its a standalone and i'm glad they addressed it at all

I do think the same about it being confusing or not fully explained can be said for some other elements though i do stand by that the characters were very realized! The pacing also could be a bit too fast or too slow at times, but it definitely didnt make it less enjoyable once i was more invested in the story!

tldr: i love this story about a librarian and a sorcerer and their emotional support demon saving the world

[plasticfangtastic]

Overall i give the one piece live action a 7/10.

Lot of the emotional scenes did not hit at all, not being a purist or anything but i think the manga did it best.

I like how different enough to the source material ot was while being still faithful that makes it great for new fans, it was well condensed but i wasnt a big fan of some of the decisions.

I enjoyed Sanji's more suave personality and if anything him and Luffy were the best, i loved Garp even if i disliked some of his charactherization but as a Garp lover i take what i can get.

I certainly hope they do have a 2nd second season as Crocodile is one of my favorite One Piece characthers of all times and I hope they get 10 eps next season instead of 8. Really was hoping it would end at Loguetown instead of just a brief cameo of Smoker.

But my major complain is that ending song is shit. Like yeah take this off... and the whole Kuina thing was so weak.

[mistydeyes]

hii! i found you through the military personnel files post and saw the COD pairing thing on ur page so if its still open, i wanna request one, thanks! (feel free to ignore tho)

- she/her, INTP

im 5'8 with a warm, pale skintone, dark hair, short wolfcut (shoulder length) and a curvy ish body type, i play volleyball but am pretty lazy otherwise. usually im wearing streetwear (avg tomboy look LMAO) but i also sometimes switch it up for a more classy "businesswoman- esque" look or more feminine dressy stuff for occasions.

i draw, both digital and traditional, enjoy baking, looking up space facts, mythology stuff and videogames. i like making cutesy handmade gifts and trying out new things.

very socially awkward and shy but when i open up im chill overall but am that friend who does the most unhinged things (and i dont stfu) (childhood trauma gang). hope it wasnt tmi😭

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick (a/n aww thanks for requesting! just wanted to say Kyle was 100% the biggest dork in the early 2000's and no one else can tell me otherwise)

How you met: Civilian At first, you and Kyle were online mutuals with a shared interest in games. He had seen your artwork before on the early days of DeviantArt and followed your artist journey to more modern platforms, including Instagram. What started at first as some comments and replies turned into daily calls and co-op video game playthroughs. Gazgar97 became you best internet friend and you planned to meet up at a gaming convention once you realized you both were growing up in the same area. When you arrived at the center, you were out of breath from rushing over. You looked around until you found someone around your age waiting at the designated meet up spot. "Kyle!" you called as you started to jog over and he turned to you with a wide smile. "Sorry I was late but it's so nice to actually meet in person," you said excitedly and he matched your enthusiasm. "Crazy we could both be here," he continued as you chatted and happily made your way to the entrance. Throughout the whole day, you both started to realize how well you two bantered with one another and how you were able to walk in such a comfortable silence. Maybe it was the way he cheered when he won at a silly little Mariocart competition but you began to wonder if this one time meet up would turn into something more.

A peek into your relationship: After kicking your boyfriend's ass in another round of Wii Sports, Kyle laid on the couch defeated. "That's 5-0, babe," you announced triumphantly as you put your head on his chest. "Whatever," he sarcastically said and placed a kiss on your temple. As you laid on his chest listening to his steady heart beat, you were at peace. "You know if we were a Greek myth we would be Atalanta and Hippomenes," you whispered after a few moments of silence. He chuckled and you could feel his chest rise before he responded. "I'm not sure I know that one," he said and you took this opportunity to tell him of one of the great love stories. "Well essentially Atalanta was known for her athleticism and there was a great footrace that no one could best her in. So the clever Hippomenes asked Aphrodite for three golden apples to distract her during the race. One by one, he strategically dropped the beautiful fruit and eventually beat her," you recounted and he looked at you, mystified. "So at the end of it, she accepted defeat and they became comrades in hunting rather than him making her upload traditional wife duties," you finished. He took a moment to think before replying. "I think we are but you have to let me win some games," he sighed before you laughed wildly and prepared for another match (that you would inevitably win).

[nialltlynch]

kk 2022 reading roundup

total books read this year: 41!! (which is a lot. to me)

my goal, as it has been the past couple years, is at least two books per month. and. dear reader, in the interest of being truthful and fair, I did not meet my goal. july wasnt a great month for both for interpersonal reasons and also because I was coming down the high of having read the gideon the ninth and harrow the ninth. so like. everything kinda tasted like dirt yknow what I mean? I read ZERO books that month. other than that, I did read a bit more than I did last year so it's a win all around

overall I do feel like this was a bit weaker. the majority of the books were fine. interesting enough to finish but not really memorable once closed. not as many of them hit quite very hard BUT the ones that did were INSANEEEEEEEE which! fine! okay! not all books are going to be mind blowers but I think it made reading this year feel a little bit more like a slog than previous. blah. you win some you lose some.

that being said, im only counting books that ive finished but I did start far more books that I ended up not finishing. I mayyyyy come back to some because I might not have been in the right place but idk. im still a very picky reader I think.

random observations:

i overwhelmingly read women writers. this is not by design. kinda neat i guess

i purposely try to read a variety of authors instead of delving into one author's bibliography (except shirley jackson, who has my heart). maybe next year I'll try to read more deeply into author's I enjoy??? we shall see

im surprised that apparently my top genre for the year is horror? i think the bulk of that is because shirley jackson is labeled horror which i suppose i have to agree with though i never considered myself a horror enjoyer. I think id like to delve more into the genre next year but ummmm im squeamish and I get scared and start shaking all over very easy ((:

i should read longer books. ill admit seeing an ebook with 300+ pages and preemptively mentally checking out....... this habit will probably follow me into the new year unfortunately )):

anyway. here are my rambling nothing thoughts on my top 10 reads this year!

top 10:

Harrow the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir | easily one of the most succulent, juicy, mind searingly delicious things I've consumed in..... I don't even know how long. possibly ever. all my thoughts can be summed up as: ooga booga

Hangsaman - Shirley Jackson | ive read a lot of shirley jackson this year and I think ive read all her novels excepts one (the road through the wall). anyway. this fucking book. no one understands the tragedy of being a young woman quite like shirley jackson.

Our Wives Under the Sea - Julia Armfield | this is one of those rare books where a confluence of things I love all come together AND it actually works out. just off the top of my head this book has (and executes WELL): floaty yet vivid prose. sea monsters. a healthy fear of the ocean. lesbians. mundane yet sublime body horror. unanswered mysteries. it's just!!! one of those things you hear about and you're like. there's no way this is actually that good right??? and true it has issues but I personally find the blemishes forgivable. I think my biggest problem is that it feels a bit drawn out but the vibes were so pitch perfect i can barely fault it for that. anyway. absolutely had a wonderful time reading this book. I went into it with relatively high expectations (especially for me) and left delighted and fed.

The Bird's Nest - Shirley Jackson | i went back and forth a lot about which jackson book was my favorite this year and it was really difficult because 1) they're all insanely good and exactly to my tastes and 2) this was the year i read the locked tomb so...... dsjkdsjkfd decisions man. ANYWAY the vibes in this book are off the charts

The Sundial - Shirley Jackson | ms jackson does it again!!! you would think that a book about a house that becomes a prison that symbolizes some form of control inhabited by a collection of delusional rich assholes would rank a lot higher since its so so so painfully quintessentially made for kk. it's also funny! I laughed out loud a few times and it was all in good fun. let me tell you. the only times I was laughing during her other books - say, idk, hill house - was at the absurdity of it all. the sundial was legitimately good fun.

Gideon the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir | DO NOT get it twisted. just because this is number 5 does NOT mean this book didnt make me absolutely insane feral. the difference between gtn and htn as far as my love is thin. razor silk spider web fucking thin. but theyre also completely different books so ughfdhfdjh okay. im not going to get into comparisons because who knows how we'll be at it. tamsyn muir is insane (affectionate with a twinge of awe.) i, a guy who sidestepped getting into A Certain Webcomic, have had a tab open for months now with fanfic for previously mentioned Webcomic (that i know next to nothing about) because im just so hungry for more tamsyn. gimme hands waaaarabslkdsb

Salt Slow - Julia Armfield | i read this before our wives under the sea and let me tell you... it set such high expectations. i obviously like her better when she's exploring subdued terror that slowly grows and grows and grows over time but she's very good at the fanciful and the deranged. she's contemplatively imaginative and the fact that she seems to also have a love for the ocean is just gravy for me. she wrote a fun little piece called the ocean is a lesbian. it was nice.

The Last House on Needless Street - Catriona Ward | this book is like one of those old timey anatomy diagrams to me in that i feel that really sums up the overall mood of the book AND also my feelings AND also conveniently describes how i read this book. this is an S-class concept with A-class writing which is delicious and delightful because it's both wonderful as a reader AND a writer. i was unnerved from the very first page and it was equally fun to luxuriate in that slow panic as a reader and to also unravel it through scrutiny as a writer. do you get what im trying to say? (i do feel presumptious referring to myself as a writer but this book really did make me remember why i love writing. so fuck it. I am a guy who writes aka writer)

Calling a Wolf a Wolf - Kaveh Akbar | im still very wet behind the ears insofar as my poetry knowledge goes and ill admit to not really. hmm. well, "getting it" sometimes. im learning! however. that being said. this collection. ooooof. i didn't feel like i had to stretch to grasp the concept. it ate my brain though thats for sure.

Devil House - John Darnielle | this book came to me at a very opportune time because I've been putting a lot of thought into the whole. true crime thing. still chewing tbh (got caught up in other stuff) but it definitely had a lasting effect