#family death mention

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[intotheelliwoods]

Yeah the mission here didnt go to well, Raph was not expected to be a casualty....

And funny story, Medium Leo did need that scarf one day

Masterpost

[dovabunny]

(Ghost)Soap AU Concept - His Hair

Cw: angst, minor character death mention, miscommunication. Inspired by Wine and Wheat by Noel_o on Ao3

Soap looks down at his trembling hand holding the electric razor, the buzz not drowning out the words echoing in his mind.

"You're not even a little embarrassed?" "No one will take you seriously looking like that." "It looks ridiculous!" "Did you really think-"

He lifts it to his head.

...

The night started with Soap in high spirits. He was proud of the latest mission - his new self-made bombs saved the day and maybe he was feeling a little cocky.

Which is usually nothing new or problematic when surrounded by his closest friends - Ghost, Gaz, Price, Rudy and Ale.

🧼: tellin ye, Cap', I deserve some chest candy for my ingenuity! Might just have rewritten the military demolitions handbook today.

Price just rolls his eyes.

That's when it started.

🧢: No offense, mate. But you show up at HQ with that hair, no one will take you seriously.

Ale choked on his beer, Rudy tried to hide a smile. "Dios mio, so it's not just us who thinks it looks ridiculous?" Ale looked to Price. "How is that allowed?"

💰: We're not sticklers for regulation in the 141 - but maybe we'll have to make an exception this time.

They all laughed and agreed.

Soap didn't. He felt his throat close and had to remind himself that they're just teasing, they don't mean it.

Rudy, sweet, kind Rudy gave his 5 cents next. "You're brilliant with bombs, friend, but really - you look in the mirror and decide that's your style? Not even a little embarrassed?"

Soap swallowed thick.

This isn't new. He's been mercilessly teased about his mowhak for that last 15 years. Till he joined the 141. He'd thought he was finally past shallow insults.

His ma had told him she loves it, three weeks before she lost her long battle, her own hair having fallen out months before. So he kept it.

He tried to deflect, be the usual fun, bubbly Soap they used to respond well to.

🧼: ah c'mon, ye are all just jealous ye can't touch my destructive talents!

Then the killing blow struck.

Ghost, the only man he's ever truly wanted, whose opinion mattered more than anything else.

Ghost chuckled, shoulders shaking with it as he shook his head. Surely he wouldn't-

💀: They're not wrong. You look like a 80s punk band reject, Soap.

'Soap'. Not Johnny. Ghost cares about Johnny, not Soap. He hopes...

💀: C'mon Johnny, you didn't really think it's a style that demands respect.

The agreeing laughter around the table didn't feel friendly, it felt cruel.

Was he really a laughing stock to them? Did they talk like this behind his back too? Was he just a joke they kept around cause he was good at blowing shit up.

They never even cared to ask why he had it.

He gave a rough brittle laugh, kept his head down, and made a half-assed excuse of needing to piss. Keeping his face turned away he rushed to the bathroom, he knows he's not strong enough to face the teasing if they see the tears in his eyes.

He climbs out the window and leaves.

No one texts or calls to check in him on the way back, walking instead of taking a taxi, hoping to clear his head. It didn't help. His ma always called him her gentle boy, said his heart was good and to protect it.

She was right about that. But turns out, wrong about his hair.

He can't fix what he's like on the inside. It stays broken no matter how he tried.

But he can fix what he's like on the outside. Make him look fixed, at least.

He picks up the electric razor he kept for the sides of his head. Ghost usually shaved it for him. He always teased that he was gonna shave it all...

A lock of hair falls.

[ursidanger]

For the OC questions: Could you tell me a little more about Whitney and Clementine? I thiiink they're sisters but is Whitney her guardian?

Of course, it's been a while so let me rehash some information about them:

-They are sisters! At the start of Salmon Road, Whitney is around 28 yrs old and Clementine is 10 yrs old. Their age gap is bigger so people tend to mistaken Clementine as Whitney's daughter.

-Whitney becomes Clementine's guardian, but that was not always the case. There was a sudden death in the family that left Clementine without anyone else to care for her. Whitney was the last remaining family member who was eligible (and willing), so, Clementine's move to Bluegill Springs and her entrance into Whitney's life again was unexpected.

-They have been estranged since Clementine was a baby. Whitney left home to live with their Grandfather and Clementine was raised by their Aunt. She knows Whitney exists, but they don't exactly have an established relationship when they begin to live together due to Whitney's absence in her life thus far. They were not born into a tight knit family. It is something they have to figure out together due to circumstance.

[vocesincaput]

OPEN STARTER: Frenchie

With everyone back together again, the crew had gotten a British Naval ship in it's sights and decided to raid it for supplies. Wanting to get back into the swing of things and gel again as a full crew.

They were surveying the deck from the Revenge, readying to board when the ships servants came on deck, making them hesitate for a moment. When one of the servants turned around, a chill ran through Frenchie and he froze on the spot.

It had been years, but... he still remembered that face. He would always remember that face.

His mother...

He felt as if every ounce of breath had left his body. His mother was right there. After all these years... she was there. Frenchie tried to will himself to say something, to tell someone who she was and that they needed to get to her. But he was so in shock that he couldn't move.

The shock turned into horror only a moment later when the Captain of the ship turned to the group of servants and even from the Revenge it could be seen how he was admonishing them. Yelling something that was lost on the wind until suddenly raised his gun and fired it at his mother. Killing her instantly.

Frenchie cried out but it was drowned out by the rest of the crew yelling and springing into action. It didn't take long before the crew of the ship were either killed or taken captive for ransom. Frenchie had gone numb whilst everything happened, barely anything registering with him. Commands not reaching his ears.

Whilst the rest of the crew were taking the captives and any supplies back over to the Revenge, Frenchie made sure that all of the servants got onto one of the small boats the Naval ship used to go to shore with enough supplies to last them and a little more. He had wrapped up his mothers body and the servants promised to make sure she would get a proper burial before he sent them on their way.

Returning to the ship, Frenchie hadn't said a word the entire time and, whilst everyone else was going over everything and celebrating, he went below deck. Face expressionless and not hearing any words that made have been said after him.

He found a quiet spot that he knew no one ever really went to and sat down upon the floor, drawing his knees up to his chest and curling his arms around them. Eyes closed tight as Frenchie tried to will what had just happened into the little box he kept within his mind for all the bad things he had seen. But no matter how hard he tried, the box just wouldn't close. Tears began to form in the corners of his eyes the harder and harder he tried to force it closed. But it was too much and he could almost see the cracks beginning to form.

Frenchie was so lost within his mind that he didn't hear someone approaching.

[bolontiku]

I hate being an adult...

Personal rant under the cut, dear Tumblr diary

TW: mention of death

I just found out that my dad's twin sister died and not really sure how to break the news to him. It's gonna be hard and I can't deal with it. he wanted to move near her in a couple years and we've been talking on how to make that work, find a house nearby her & getting ready to make the move and now she's gone.

The elder sister had me call her to find out, our cousin called her to tell her, and now we are struggling on how to tell him. The elder sister is a bit upset that nobody said anything and i told her it was a matter of privacy, she didn't want to broadcast that and get fake pity from fake people. I would most likely do the same, but fuck my dad called her every week. The little sister is such an ass and we (with our dark humor) were making jokes... but then I told her, "imagine someone came to you and said- your brother is dead BYE!! 🤣🤣 " and really we haven't stopped crying (cause we can't live without our brother). I liked that lady.

My dad has been calling me, asking if we are okay? He's been telling me something was wrong, that he's had bad dreams lately. He's worried and can't figure it out. Fuck man.

[tangledinink]

I wonder how the Krang invasion plays in the Gemini Au, any thoughts?

I like to think that they’re still apart and deal with it in their own way.

And that Casey never comes to the other timeline because I don’t think he would even survive/exist, because Cassandra is still in the Foot Clan so, yeah, she’s dead and a horribly mutated dog.

Oh gosh, if they were all still separated during the Kraang invasion...

Well. Obby and Cru probably wouldn't fare very well for obvious reasons.

Leo and Donnie would be not involved for as long as possible. There's no way Big Mama is going to get involved in all that right away; certainly her two little turtley-boos aren't going to be. They'd absolutely be whisked away to some hidden bunker or something while all that stuff goes on topside and would just... wait. And wonder.

Honestly, Mikey and his crew wouldn't care at all, either, at least not at first. Eliminate the humans? Great! Nice! We hate those things! But once the Kraang became a threaten to the YOKAI, well then...

They might be a bit late, but I think they'd be a formidable set of opponents for the Kraang, in the very least...

[fadeintoyou1993]

posting this mainly to remember that i need to write this in my actual journal but my two grandmas were really close and like best friends and they would visit each other and talk for hours on end and then one of them passed and the other is really sick w alzheimers and doesnt rmr that my other grandma passed 3 years ago and I just had to promise her i would tell my grandma that she misses her and wants to get better to visit her and catch up on everything and . wow grief is crazy huh it really just never ends

[prof-polaris]

hypothetically though which pokemon alter emotions 'n stuff

no. seriously. it’s illegal to use pokemon to alter emotions in most regions, even as a replacement for therapy and medication. i personally, will not allow the use of it.

i lost a family member to that shit. i’m so serious. it can cause so much harm, especially the withdrawals. it reaches a point where you stop- being a person. you stop caring about anything except being in a daze.

…arc, it makes me nauseous just thinking about it…

[virtualtoybox]

Okay so. People who have followed me for a while probably know this but to new friends and mutuals and the like here is the August breakdown.

At the end of August are the anniversary dates of 1.) My dads birthday, 2.) My mom and dads wedding anniversary, and 3.) The day my dad passed away from cancer. All in one week! I was 2 weeks away from being 2 years old when it happened, and 23 years later it still feels like an open wound. And your body has muscle memory for grief yknow? So it hurts so much worse every August. My mom and sisters and i all get so depressed,, we try to make the best of things and celebrate his life how we can but it's so hard. It's so sososo hard. I honestly can't talk about him at all without sobbing (Currently crying as I type this up even 😭)

Please understand that August is an extremely hard time for my family, and because of that I may be online very little- or maybe I'll be on a lot more than usual! I really don't know! I don't know what will end up being best so we will see.

That being said I always joke that August is "birthday prep month" because of my birthday on September 17th- of which I also have some trauma surrounding that date as well (my first psych ward visit was late at night on the 16th- spent my 13th birthday in the ward) so expect me to be like. Annoying about being excited for my birthday? It's how I counteract the extreme amounts of negative emotions surrounding the next couple of weeks. Oh also especially becus this year on September 16th marks an official 10 years since my last psych ward visit so like. Yea!! That's what's going on !!!!

[boots-with-the-fur-club]

Idk if anyone remembers that future robot Leo AU I mentioned but here it is. It’s a one shot and I’ll post it on ao3 tomorrow. Tumblr gets it early!

Casey sat on the floor of the movie room, leaning his head on his hand as he, Leo, Mikey and Raph all watched a movie together. He was waiting for Donnie to be done with his mask. What he was using it for, he didn’t know. All he knew was that he’d been acting weird ever since Casey first gave him the mask to allow him to check out the work he did on it in the future.

“So this bee can talk? And he likes jazz? Can bees talk here too?”

“Unless they’re mutated, no.” Raph answers.

“Aww, I think real talking bees would be cute.” Mikey comments as he sits behind Casey and braids his hair.

“Even in the apocalypse, I thought you’d have at least heard about the masterpiece that is the Bee Movie Casey! Future me really failed you.” Leo was sat next to Raph, his shell leaning on his arm.

“Well, when I was little, he and my uncles would act out Lou Jitsu movies. We didn’t really have any others. When I got older and….things happened….master Leonardo didn’t have time or just….didn’t want to.” Casey looks down at the ground.

Mikey pauses with the braiding.

Leo pulls his legs closer to his chest and looks away from him. Only he knew what he meant. He preferred it that way.

Raph gently pets Leo’s shell.

The awkward mix of lack of talking, sad vibes and the bee movie playing was interrupted by the sound of someone quickly approaching.

Donnie runs in, lack of sleep clearly evident in his deep eye bags.

“Everyone! You’ll be be in even greater awe of my genius once you hear what I’ve finally accomplished!”

“You’re done with that thing you’ve hidden in your lab for forever?” Leo stands up.

He notices the way Donnie fidgets.

“You are correct. There will be no more hiding my project.”

Everyone else stands up as well.

“Don’t keep us hanging man! What did you do?” Mikey bounces in excitement.

“I have successfully brought someone back from the dead!”

Excitement turns to horror. Not just for Mikey, but for everyone.

“Don…..what are ya talking about….?” Raph is almost unsure what to even say.

“Why tell you when I can show you? To the lab!” Donnie scurries off just as quickly as he came in.

Everyone else hesitates for a moment. Only a single moment, then they’re running after him to his lab.

“Donnie, you can’t just-!” Leo stops dead in his tracks and cuts himself off.

There, sat on his twin’s workbench, was a ghost.

A ghost in metallic form.

A ghost that never died, never existed.

A ghost that looked just like him.

With an arm that looked like Raph’s.

He felt like he was going to be sick.

“Uncle Donatello…what…what is this?” Casey is holding back flooding tears.

“When I got your mask, I realized it was still recording. Then I realized that it’s always recording! So, I looked at the footage-“

“You….how much did you watch?” Leo feels his already cold blood run colder.

“All of it, obviously.”

“All of it….?”

“Every. Single. Recording.“

Casey and Leo share a look of horror.

Donnie claps his hands together.

“As I was saying, I looked at the footage and was able to get an entire cloud of data from myself. It’s where recordings from everyone were sent, even after my untimely future bifurcated timeline death.”

Mikey and Raph join in on Leo and Casey’s looks, directed towards Casey.

Casey balls his hands into fists. It wasn’t out of anger. Just pain.

“So you made a robot.”

“Well technically I made some changes to Leo’s robot and took the arm from Raph’s robot-“

“You made a robot out of me!?” Raph shouts.

“I was working on robots of all of you, anyway! If I could finish my explanation! I uploaded those videos containing and from Leo’s future counterpart to my computer then inputted them into an A.I along with information that I’ve gathered from everyone else’s videos that might have been missing. And now, the robot is ready to boot up.” Donnie presses a button before anyone can stop him.

A quiet whirring comes from the robot. His eyes slowly open and he blinks a few times. He looks down at his hands, confused.

“What…? How am I…?” He looks up and sees Casey staring hard at him.

“C-Case…? Casey!” The robot lunges off the workbench and scoops Casey up into his arms, lifting him off the ground and bear hugging him.

“Oh kid, I thought I’d never see you again!”

Casey’s shock wears off and the tears that he was holding back pour down his face. He hugs the robot back tightly.

“Sensei! I-I’ve missed you, so much….” Casey hides his face in the robot’s shoulder despite it feeling as metallic and tough as he expected.

The robot puts a hand on the back of Casey’s head and lets him continue to sob. The robot is tearing up as well, but smiling widely at having Casey in his arms.

“How is this possible?” The robot questions.

He then freezes.

“We’re not both dead, are we?”

“Only one of you was and I have corrected that!” Donnie smirks.

The robot quickly turns to him.

“Donnie….?”

“In the flesh, although you are not-“

Donnie is grabbed and forced into the hug, getting tightly squeezed.

“Nardo! You know how I feel about sudden hugs!” The robot sobs.

“You’re alive….oh my god you’re alive….” Donnie begrudgingly accepts his fate and hugs him back.

“And you’re ancient.”

The robot laughs as more tears drop.

“I’m only 37!”

“That is not helping your case.”

The robot eventually lets go of Donnie and Casey, but he stares at them both still.

“Look at you, you’re basically still a baby.”

“Hey! I’m the older twin, I wasn’t a baby before and I’m not now!”

“You’re admitting we’re twins already? That’s crazier than the apocalypse.”

Leo, Mikey and Raph couldn’t help but be quiet this whole time. They were just stupefied by the situation. There’s been basically no time to take it all in.

Leo was starting to shake though. Donnie knew everything. He saw things Leo probably didn’t even know about. That robot would tell the others everything.

“Leo? Are you okay?” Raph breaks out of his shock to look at him.

The robot turns towards Raph’s voice. Tears keep coming. He slowly approaches Raph and Mikey. There was clearly pain on his face, despite he metal. He reaches out his hands, cupping their cheeks.

“You’re….so small….” He nearly whispers.

He’s looking right at Raph.

“He gets bigger!?” Mikey shouts.

The robot smiles, then that smile breaks down into more tears. He falls to his knees and hangs his head.

“Master Leonardo!” Casey kneels down next to him.

“I don’t even know if I can apologize….how I could ever….” His hands begin to fall.

Raph and Mikey both grab them.

“Hey, hey, you’re gonna be alright Leo.”

Present Leo stumbles back like he just got cut.

He really would like to see the robot just a robot. But he can’t. This robot is him. If Casey hadn’t come back from the past, these would be his memories collected together.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m okay, don’t worry.” The robot looks back up at them.

His current position leads his eyes up both Raph and Mikey’s arms.

If he wasn’t a robot, everyone would assume his heart had stopped or something with the expression his face takes on.

Leo is uncomfortable with how much facial expression Donnie allowed the robot to have.

“What did you do?”

“Leo-…uh….our Leo got trapped in the prison dimension. Mikey opened up a portal but his arms started getting messed up so we took on some of his ninpo to help him out. They’re healin up already.” Raph explains.

Leo quickly realizes what conclusion the robot will come to and fears for the worst. Casey hugs the robot tight, also realizing what would happen.

“That’s all it took….? That’s all I had to do…? He….he didn’t have to die….?”

Mikey’s face drops.

“I could have died!?”

The robot stares down at the floor numbly.

Mikey’s face softens and he kneels down next to the robot, squeezing his hand.

“Leo….I know I’m not your Mikey, but I know I’d do anything for you. Knowing what I know now, I’d still use my ninpo anyway.” He smiles at him innocently.

Only present Leo knows that this is the exact wrong thing to say. Mikey always has a certain way of approaching the situation based on what he knows about his brothers.

He’s usually right on the money because everyone goes to him for emotional problems or he he goes to them to tackle an issue he see them having.

However, there are some things Mikey would never know about because Leo would usually never, ever tell him.

It’s probably also something Donnie and Raph avoided ever directly saying too. An unspoken rule for themselves.

Protect Mikey no matter what.

Breaking that rule accidentally would be painful. The guilt would eat any of them alive.

On purpose was unthinkable.

In most circumstances at least.

“No! You didn’t do it because you wanted to! You did it because I asked you to! If I had been better you-!” The robot cuts himself off with a sharp intake of air.

“He would be here….you’re here, but he never….you’ll never be him….”

Mikey’s eyes fill with tears.

He wanted to help him so badly.

He’d give up all his art supplies, every recipe he’s ever collected, he’d even hand over his Jupiter Jim collector’s cup if only he’d make him feel a little better.

Leo sees the heartbreak in Mikey’s face and steels himself up.

‘This isn’t about you.’

He had heard that phrase over and over again ever since becoming leader.

At first it just annoyed him.

Then it twisted like a knife, he hadn’t listened and he paid the price.

After all he’s been through, he knew what it meant.

It wasn’t an excuse for self sacrifice, or a reason to let himself wallow in pity.

It wasn’t saying he was selfish or egotistical.

It was just the fact that sometimes you need to think about if your problem is really the biggest problem.

What helps everyone.

So Leo chooses to do what Mikey wishes he could do.

He moves in front of the robot, moving his arms away from them.

He gets on his knees and looks up at him, into his eyes.

He isn’t sure what the robot thinks of him.

He didn’t even look at him before.

He was much more focused on everyone else. He wasn’t offended by this in the slightest. He was him, and if he went through all that….he wouldn’t care about seeing himself. He’d react the same way.

Yet, he still can’t say for certain if he’d hate or just feel sorry for himself.

If he wanted this to work it would have to lean towards the latter.

He had to have faith in himself.

“You didn’t know. You couldn’t have known.“

The robot stares at him before shutting his eyes and turning away.

He was in pain.

“I should have. I lost dad. I lost our brothers. I lost April. I lost everyone….because of decisions I made.”

Raph and Mikey’s faces are ones of horror.

“Yeah….I know. Casey told me.”

“You knew!? And you didn’t tell us!?” Raph shouts.

“How was I supposed to tell you how you died? How was I supposed to look you in the eye and explain how close you were to-?” He stops himself as he tears up.

The robot opens his eyes and looks back at him.

“It’s easier not say anything. To just avoid it all. I don’t like thinking about what….I did to you either….”

“Neither of you did anything to us! It was the Foot, the Kraang, even Hypno and Warren! Blame them! They started everything!” Mikey insists.

The robot’s eyes scan his brothers again.

“….Did they do that to Raph’s shell too?”

Leo tenses.

Raph sighs slightly.

“Yeah. The Kraang.“ He gently bumps his head against Leo’s.

“Just the Kraang. Saving you was going to happen no matter what. Because of you, we avoided a lot of stuff.” He then looks at the robot.

“And because you, we avoided everything you wished you could fix. You did it. You should be proud of yourself. I know I’m proud of you.”

The robot tearfully chuckles.

“I really missed how corny you always talked.”

“Say what!? Oh, Raph’s going to get you for that one!” He tackles him, pulling the robot away from everyone else.

Casey J.R smiles as he watches them play wrestle.

“Just like sensei always told me about.”

“Boys! What is going on in here?” Splinter loudly questions as he enters the lab.

The robot bolts up immediately.

“Dad….?”

Splinter tenses.

“Another Blue?”

“Future Leo brought back from death.” Donnie answers.

Splinter hardly has any time to react to that information. The robot rushes over, almost slipping.

“Dad, dad!”

He lifts up the rat man and hugs him tightly.

“This is how big you got!? Rats are more nourishing than I thought.” He pets the robot’s head.

“I-I’m so sor-“

“None of that my baby Blue. It’s okay. Whatever happened, whatever you saw, whatever….you had to do….it’s okay. I promise.”

The robot smiles and keeps hugging his father.

Everyone else stands up and walks over to them.

“I think we could use a little pick me up. How about a Lou Jitsu movie marathon?” Raph does his best to pat the robot’s shoulder.

“That is the best things I’ve heard in years.” The robot responds.

They all end up back in the movie room.

The Bee Movie is finished first because the robot went nuts at seeing it again.

Then, it was time to reenact the movies. The brothers all made sure Robot Leo had the best roles. When he decided to just watch them do the re-enactments, he still had at least one person sitting with him on the couch.

It was an incredible feeling, to know that someone you thought you lost forever was right there besides you.

Warm, breathing, happy, safe, alive.

It was nice, after he had basically forgotten the word.

He could finally relax.

[tequitoclown]

I know nobody here remembers me ever talking about him, but my grandfather would have been 87 yesterday. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him.

Hope you'd be proud of me. ❤️

[unovan-gardener]

Hey since you're CD's dad could you settle a debate?

CD says they're not a plant. Lots of other people say they are a plant. Including a dryad who I assume would be able to recognize other plants? Idk how dryads work

My child is not a plant. Please stop calling my child a plant.

My wife died in childbirth.

....Please do not erase her efforts.

[fxllen-rxse]

//Why does life love to give me the middle finger and just shove it right in my face??

I have been trying to deal with some retirement plan that my mom apparently had before she passed in 2007. It is in her estate name, which has been closed for several years now. Why this was never mentioned to me is beyond me. And if it was, I must have had a lot going to completely forget about it back then.

After attempting to get some advice, I have tried unsuccessfully to reopen her estate bank account. It's apparently so old it's no longer in the bank's system.

So I got more advice, which led me to just attempting to open up a new bank account altogether, but apparently because my step dad's name is also listed on my administrator paperwork and that I'm listed as a co-administrator with my step brother, they claim it would have to be in both names... Even though I had one in just her estate name before (this was a different bank that my husband and I use as opposed to the old one that doesn't have a location near us since we moved in 2016).

Supposedly, to fix this, I would have to go back to court and get them to change my administrator paperwork. Going back to court is what I am trying to avoid as I do not want to get my step brother involved since he lives in another state and I haven't spoken to him in years.

So, once again, I've hit a brick wall with this situation. I'm going to attempt a different bank, maybe even the old one that had the account in the first place if I have to.

I will say, I never thought I would still be dealing with this crap almost 20 years later! Having to dig through a bunch of old stuff I've somehow kept, while it doesn't affect me like it did several years ago any longer, there's always a hint of pain from having to remember it all. Which I still remember the day it happened very clearly, in fact.

But anyway, this along with getting a new furnace and having multiple issues with it is just adding up my stress levels...

This has been a vent rant from yours truly 🙃

[bucketofbugz]

sometimes nightmares are watching the people you love die and sometimes nightmares are Jim Hopper from stranger things owning your cat

[fandommemequeen]

my 2023.

yearly retrospective time LETZ GO!!!

last year i said 2022 sucked but uh,, 2023 was definitely worse :'o)

with the rise in queerphobic legistlation, school getting progressively harder to stay on track with, my dad dying, and just everything else that ive had to endure this year, its been difficult. but.. i somehow made it.

and you might be wondering how i got through everything. did i touch grass and magically everything was sunshine and rainbows? buy some overpriced self help book or online course that changed my life? No <3

i just,, did what i normally do. i played video games, talked with my friends, watched youtube, brainrotted over fandoms, listened to music, came up with cool outfits, somehow made it through skool, drew, wrote, cosplayed, roleplayed, made kandi and crafts, and just overall found ways to find joy in the small things, which goes a long way when youre trans in a world where your joy is an act of rebellion.

i also had some cool fandom moments this year! season 7 of siivagunner has been AWESOME, return to dream land deluxe was great even if it fricked with the lore a little, THE TOH FINALE WAS SO FRICKIN GOOD, marios madness may be my new fave fnf mod, NPMD THREW ME BACK INTO MY HATCHETFIELD FIXATION, i FINALLY got the kirby planet robobot soundtrack cd and the limited edition quiznos training game physical edition, i found ways to actually enjoy WDY again and leave behind itz toxic fandom, i got into pokepasta, tintn, gogos crazy bones, playtime with percy, inside job, tadc, i started listening to mal blum and against me and chonny jash, im currently being dragged into eggotama as we speak and im getting back into mpdsap,,

but the fandom that had the most impact for me this year was the june archive and restoration project. getting into TJA led me to discover bowlbys other works and get into one of the best fandoms ive ever been in, thanks in part to the june archive and restoration project fanserver. ive met so many cool people through that server, and getting to chat and VC with them has always been a blast. [yknow what? shoutout to all my friends that ive loved talking with all throughout 2023 yall are awesome]

back to life stuff for a moment here, i got to do a lotta cool stuff this year! i FINALLY homebrewed my 3ds [with a bit of help from jaco xd], GOT TO SEE THE HAUNTING OF NIGHT VALE LIVE, put together some awesome cosplays for gencon and halloween, im getting better at rhythm games, i got SECOND PLACE in my skoolz national cybersecurity codebreakers competition, i had an awesome bday, i went to go see barbie [my first movie in theaters since lockdown] and fnaf and both were AWESOME!! all of this despite everything thats happened in 2023!

and as for my creative projectz,, DIGIVERSE REBOOT EPISODE 3 FINALLY RELEASED BACK IN MAY!!!!!! holy frick i was SO PROUD of that,, in addition, ive been doing character reveals for gamerz epic megamix take, i created the doomed timelines awoken au, and ive strengthened my artstyle into what it is today while learning how to use my drawing tablet :3

in addition, getting into TJA and watching bowlbys animation legacy made me think about my past as a creator, and i started work on giving my old book ocs from my days in the TWOW fandom the care and attention they deserve, even if it means some slight redesigns or rewrites. speaking of TWOW, EWOW IS OUT AND IM GETTING BACK INTO TWOW AFTER YEARS!! feelz good to be back, and im hoping i can maybe properly host a minitwow at some point in 2024!

overall 2023 wasnt great, but i stayed silly and had fun despite it and i think thatz very swag of me!

now, every time i do one of these things, if i do an overconfident "bring it on" type message at the end i almost always end up regretting it, AND i am absolutely terrified about 2024 so i am not taking my chances!

so i leave u with this sentiment towards 2024 instead:

i gotta survive The Horrors anyway, might as well stay silly and do what i like while im doing it :3