#there’s a lot less pressure to get things right. and after all. a bad drawing is still a drawing

[dragonfollies]

I haven’t posted my drawings to tumblr in a while, so here’s a couple of sketchbook doodles of Nintendo characters from the past week

[istadris]

More about that plotbunny of Bowser hiring Luigi as a dealer for one of his casinos.

(Disclaimer: lots and lots of artistic liberties about how casinos and card games work, this is Mario world after all)

At first, Bowser doesn't want to hire Luigi. At. ALL. If it was just up to him, he would just punt the nerd back to Mushroom Kingdom.

But as Kamek points out, not only did he give his word, but if he fires someone just for being good for the job they're applying for, what kind of message is it sending ? If there is one reason Bowser's kingdom is running smoothly despite the regular beatings the kings gets from a pair of silly plumbers, it's the good work relationship between Bowser and his troops : he's a demanding boss, but not an unfair one.

Plus, it's bad enough he fails regularly his world invasions, but hey, world conquest is a hard job, so that's forgivable. But being a sore loser at a card games ?? That's not a good look for Bowser.

So fine. Green Mario is hired in a big show of pretending to acknowledge his enemy's skills. At least Bowser will be able to pretend he's bossing around the actual Mario for a while.

Doesn't mean he can't get his revenge otherwise.

Yes, he can't fire Luigi...but if Luigi is too weak to hold under pressure and quit, that's not on Bowser, is it ?

So Bowser nonchalantly orders the casino manager to make sure the new hire knows what he's in for. Or in other words, push him so hard he quits on his own.

At first Luigi is just put on slot machine filling duty; a boring, tedious job with a lot of noises and loud clients everywhere. Luigi bears it ; he's done that gig before and he's seen much worse as a full time plumber. And while he's doing that job, he befriends several of the maintenant workers, who for the most part are kinda curious about what a human (and a Mario Brother, no less) is doing here.

He's also very, very clumsy. To the point the manager starts to wonder how this is the same guy who beat Bowser at poker. And you know what, he's curious. Screw what Bowser said, until the king butted his head in the job interview, the human had an interesting resume and the manager is not losing more money, he wants to know what the new guy can actually do.

He puts Luigi at one of the tables as his last chance. Either he makes money, or he's out.

And Luigi makes money.

A.

Lot.

Of money.

Bowser visits the casino around about that time, already gloating inside : surely by now that wimp has run back to Mario crying, right ?

Instead he sees Luigi at one of the main Picture Poker tables, charming up the players (and it's something Bowser never expected to see, Luigi being confident and charming -wait why is he finding him charming ??) and large piles of coins piling up on his table.

Turns out, when your casino's style is mostly built around reminding players how tough and impossible to beat you are, a friendly and innocent-looking dealer who encourages you with dorky catchphrases and a cute little laugh is a BIG draw for players who think they still have a chance.

Bowser is FURIOUS (and just slightly horny). But he still can't fire Luigi; not only is he good at his job, but by now word has spread of how Luigi has been hired in the first place, making it very hard to not look like he's a sore loser who can't even win a card came against the "weaker" Mario Brother.

Brother who has the GALL to offer him to play at his table. And smiling on top of that!! That cheeky little thing !!

On his way out, Bowser grabs the manager by the collar : next time he's back, Luigi better has walked out on his own.

The manager appreciates Luigi's work, but he's not putting his job on the line for the new guy. But he's here to make money, and now he's decided to squeeze Luigi out of every coin the human can bring to the casino.

He increases his hours, raises the amount of money he's supposed to make every night, gives him back-to-back shifts, sends the most agressive players to his table (although the bouncers step in if things get too heated).

Usually a dealer is just here to deal, keep count, welcome players, announce hands, that sort of thing. But in Darklands casinos, there are special tables where you can play against the dealer, either on one-on-one or as a normal table; the games there are very high-stake, in an all-or-nothing fashion : you win against the casino, you earn a LOT.

It's the toughest job of the casino : not only the dealer is both player and house, but given these are high stakes games, you can't just put a newbie in charge there. You need a shark, a cold-blooded, lucky son of a bitch who can handle pressure.

The manager sends Luigi there : "you screw up, you're out". Piling up more and more pressure on the poor human's shoulders. As for the other dealers, they feel sorry for the new guy but they certainly won't stick out their necks for him.

But despite the stress and hostile conditions, Luigi isn't Mario's brother for nothing : despite his meek, non confrontational personality, Luigi can be extremely stubborn. He doesn't want to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him quit and so he holds on.

Thankfully, he's got unexpected allies on his side : the maintenance/cleaning crew he's befriended before are outraged at the treatment and decide to help him out. Sneaking him treats and drinks on long night, disturbing games so he's got an easier time winning, arranging tables and chairs to make the other tables less attractive, hiding stuff around. Of course the other dealers notice and some of them are furious...but some start to realise that if Luigi is expected to hold up such high standards, what if these standards become the norm ? And they realise they really don't want such workplace conditions.

Things are getting out off hand. Revolt is brewing in the casino. Bowser gets winds of it and is tempted to close everything on a whim, but Kamek steps in yelling about the revenues the casino makes and how Bowser should get the situation back under control.

Screaming won't solve things, as the entire crew is one bad word away from quitting or going on strike. And he's not going to negotiate with Luigi!

Kamek : "Sir, either fire him or get revenge on him but DO SOMETHING ! He's the mastermind behind this conspiracy!

(He's really not.)

...fine, Bowser decides, he's going to negotiate with Luigi.

Who still doesn't want to quit.

But offers Bowser a deal :

One game a night, until they go through all the casino games. They count each victory and once the total is done, if Bowser has more points, Luigi walks out. If Luigi has more, he gets back a normal work schedule and he can finally focus on his damn job.

It's a stupid wager. It's ridiculous. It's outrageous. Insulting, even.

And Bowser still takes the wager.

Because he finally picks up on something: for some reason, even after everything, Luigi wants to play against him.

You can guess where this goes.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

What was preventing Azul from taking the MC dorm before the MC arrived in this world?(sorry if they did say and I missed it)

I don’t believe it was ever explicitly said why Azul didn’t try to take Ramshackle prior to Yuu and Grim moving in. However, I think we can draw a very reasonable guess as to why he didn’t.

Firstly, Azul’s not the type to use force, especially not as a first resort. He won’t just stroll up to the headmaster to put the squeeze on him to give him all the land and resources he wants. Even if Azul wants something badly, uses less than savory means to obtain his desires, and/or tried to sabotage a deal to go in his favor, he doesn’t give outright unreasonable demands or conditions. He’s not stupid; there’s not way anyone would agree to listen to him or consider his offer if he’s so openly aggressive right off the bat. Keep in mind that at this point, Azul also likely did not have anything to leverage over Crowley, so the headmaster has no reason to do what he demands. It took that first year for Azul to strike up deals and to get students under his thumb, which he would then use to pressure Crowley into granting him permissions for the Mostro Lounge. This takes time and effort to pull off, and Azul’s in it to play the long game.

Speaking of time and effort, I’d wager that’s why Azul never seemed to actively pursue the acquisition of Ramshackle dorm until later. The main story seems to begin with Azul in his second year—and it is during the second year when his ambitions reach their peak in the events of book 3. Before this, Azul was most likely concerned with building his own reputation at NRC (as a freshman), as well as building his business. Most of his efforts were likely going toward making his first and main branch a success. After all, he needs to have a proven track record and, more importantly, the influence (dorm leader seat, Crowley’s backing, etc) and the base capitol (money) to expand to a new location. It’s bad business to expand willy-nilly just because he can.

Also consider that since Azul is the dorm leader of Octavinelle, he just has easier access and control of his own territory rather than making things harder for himself by encroaching on the territory of others (which includes general campus land and buildings, as well as the pocket dimensions of the other sorms). It would look bad on his part, especially seeing as he is a relatively new person in power suddenly picking fights with his seniors and staff; it doesn’t help Azul come off as “likeable”, which is something he tries very hard to be. Reputation is very important to him!! It just so happens to be very inconvenient timing that the land Azul had been after for a second Mostro Lounge is suddenly someone else’s living space 😂 It’s probably safer for Azul to swipe the land of a magicless student that lives in an “unofficial” dorm than to jump through extra administrative and blackmailing efforts to pressure Crowley to make another deal with him (+ potentially fight with other dorm leaders).

On a more meta level, I don’t actually think making a second Mostro Lounge at Ramshackle makes a lot of sense?? If you look at a map of NRC, Ramshackle is located off in a relatively isolated location on campus (which is further exemplified by Malleus explicitly choosing to visit the area on his walks, because he says it is nice and quiet there); I don’t think you’d realistically get a ton of foot traffic at Ramshackle, especially when a cafeteria exists inside of the main school building. To me, Azul wanting Ramshackle for his second location seems more like a plot contrivance to up the stakes for the player if Yuu doesn’t end up fulfilling their end of the bargain.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

i am not allowed to watch the newest ep before posting this

ghouls forgive me for over analyzing- but i LOVED how Frankie's place on the leader board doesn't change! The i m p l i c a t i o n s

so the point of the growing ghoulia ep is both Ghoulia and Draculaura are feeling a lot of pressure to do really well at their school stuff:

Ghoulia because zombies in general have a hard time squeezing all the extra stuff that would earn points, and she wants to be first to top the chart. Draculaura, fresh from the ep where her dad was worried her witchcraft would make her life harder, wants to 100% prove she can be a witch AND do well in her other stuff.

(ohhh the DElicious irony of that urge pushing her to accidentally do the thing she NEVER wanted to do- hurt monsters with her magic- i AdORE every time she draws the line of I Will Not Hurt People With This. i LOVE the look at how she realizes Ghoulia shouldn't have to compete against MAGIC along with everything else- AND AND AND how they both decide to be little less frantic about leader boards. we don't even see what the final redone results are! Because that's the point- they aren't THAT important! without the time spell there's a good chance ghoulia stayed in 1st this time, but the episode doesn't care, and the meta of that is vrvrvrvvrrbrrbrbrbrbr)

where was i. Oh yeah, Frankie!

they are second to last before the new points are tallied up- just above Ghoulia- and they're STILL second to last after the new calculation is done, this time just ahead of Heath!

First tally: 1 Drac, 2 Spec, 3 Heth, 4 Lag, 5 Claw, 6 Man, 7 Frank, 8 Ghoul

Second Tally, before drac jumped ahead suddenly: 1 Ghoul, 2 Man, 3 Claw

Second tally after drac did her thing: 1 Drac, 2 Ghoul, 3 Man, - - - 7 Frank, 8 Heth

(forgive, i cannot take scream caps right now)

WHY IS THAT EXCITING??? BECAUSE>>>>>> everyone else that we see DID move on the board. but not THEM!!!

and the only extra curricular thing we see them part of in the ep? the only thing they do that could get them points? It's something they already do and like.

It's a queer club- Frankie, the only openly non-binary monster we've seen, who introduced themselves with their preferred pronouns- there is no way they're doing a queer club for points. they're there because they want to be, it's fun, it's something they enjoy-

AND THAT S THE THING

so MANY of the kids at monster high are trying to live up to something! or prove something!

Cleo needing to earn a sliver of the respect her big sister gets

Duce trying not to let down the new Gorgon tradition of school excellence

Draculaura desperately wanting to make her dad proud AND be a witch AND earn enough positive interaction so's not to start decaying

Toralei and HER mom who is..... yeah....

heck even Spectra mentions bad grades could get privileges revoked by her family

Clawdeen doesn't have pressure from her dad (or mom, obviously) but she does struggle with wanting to fit in and belong in the monster culture she's still really new to- she's solidly in the middle range for spirit points, showing how active she is in school unlife- and several of her eps are about learning NOT to focus too much on fitting in or going with the monster flow. Instincts. The push to ignore them sometimes for her new home and peers is sTRONG.

but Frankie?

Frankie's got brilliant brain bits. They're smart, perceptive, sometimes VERY intuitive without noticing it-

yeah they have a permanent case of the stumbly clumsies and their brain sparks make them zone out sometimes- and they've literally only been alive for a few months so there's a LOT of normal everyday stuff they don't know about, and...

...... that rarely seems to bother them?

They're made from famous and talented monsters, they know it and are HAPPY to show off all their cool brain bits

and so far they haven't ever worried about living up to those monsters' reputations or legacies. their parents made a teen stuffed FULL with smarts, but getting amazing grades isn't something Frankie frets about?

they are SECOND TO LAST on the LEADER BOARD and they STAY THERE

the implication, the unspoken thing about all that is-

Frankie was made to have fun.

They're here at monster high, also to have Fun. To experience stuff. Make friends. Learn things, sure- but learn things they like, at their own pace

this could change if we ever see their parents but- but for NOW, the way things have been shown-

Frankie at least doesn't seem to be feeling any pressure to be anything more than what they already are. And that's really. Very. Wonderful to see

[iztea]

Maybe you have some drawing tips for beginners?

Your style is incredibly beautiful and it just inspires this thing inside me to grab my iPad and start drawing but unfortunately I have no idea where to even begin

Or maybe you have some recs where to look to learn how to draw stuff?

But I understand completely that it’s your thing and artists should never feel pressured to share all their techniques and secrets, you worked hard on it!

I just really really love your art to the point where I just look at it for 30 minutes straight with this big feeling in my chest

<3

ah it was never about being secretive, i'm pretty open about my drawing process since gatekeeping knowledge is a big pet peeve of mine. It was more like,, laziness because writing a cohesive and helpful drawing tutorial is pretty difficult and i wouldn't even know where to start; i'm afraid i'll get maybe too technical and what have you.

As for tips for beginners, i've shared plenty on my couriouscat so you can scroll through the answers there, i also have some drawing timelapses on my twitter account as well (albeit you'll have to scroll a little)

I'm very flattered you feel that way about my art, it really means a lot to me and i'm glad to have inspired you to draw as well that's awesome and i wish you best of luck!

I actually don't know how different drawing on an iPad is compared to a graphic tablet+desktop, so I am actually pretty clueless in that regard. I think Procreate is the most used digital art app for iPad so you can start by getting it and familiarizing yourself with the UI. I think this step is often overlooked. The brushes and the chosen program can make or break the drawing experience. If you simply find yourself not enjoying Procreate, experiment with other apps or maybe try switching to a graphic tablet, maybe that feels better and is more suited to your tastes.

To be completely honest, one "bad" piece of advice that i should probably keep to myself is to draw something you actually enjoy: fanart, Pretty Girl Portrait(tm), your cat, landscapes etc even if it's above your skill level (becoming obsessed/ fixated on some character from a piece of media also works wonders i'm just gonna throw that out there). The main point is to actually care about your chosen subject in order to get inspired and to have that inner desire of "doing them justice" aka drawing them well. The traditional art learning route probably involves studying the fundamentals, shading spheres and cones and simple 3D forms blablbablah which. Yeah ! sure that's probably better advice but i'm telling you what will make you want to keep going and not get discouraged after a few failed attempts.

As for the drawing subject, I highly recommend having photo references to guide you.. you always need refs it's a recurring thing. My fastest artworks are the ones where I have the right references. the less references the more difficult it is to draw something

As a beginner it is also a good practice to draw OVER your photo reference to get the proportions right ( i'm not talking about literally tracing the contour of a face or limb ( just an example ), but moreso identifying the Main shape which makes up that body part and observe how long is it in respect to the other components, how does it connect to the other parts etc - big difference. Tracing won't help you in the long run).

Another thing you can do is to study your favourite artists and see how They tackle whatever it is that you like in their work. how do they simplify facial features? what about anatomy? color/ light etc and kinda reverse engineer your way through their process. ( but i highly recommend to just keep these practice sketches to yourself, and to not share them on social media- unless you get the artist's permission)

This is how i got into drawing and what i did back then, again, for more technical hands-on information i did answer similar CCs before so with a little bit of stalking you'll find them in no time

I wanna finish this with some resources that helped me:

>youtube guys - sinix, ahmed aldoori, marco bucci, and also just speedpaints in general i highly recommend watching those

>for simplified anatomy i found @/ taco1704 's ref sheets to be very helpful but ........... I'm pretty dry here i just look up refs on Pinterest tbvh

speaking of, here's my pinterest i have a bunch of art related boards board cool stuff overall maybe they can help guide you towards some direction or inspire you in some way idk

ok i kinda suck in the resource department listeN. im starving too just.................. watch youtube speedpaints ok

SORRY IT'S SO LONGGGBGGG i hope it was at least a bit helpful? this was all over the place... I'll try to come up with a tutorial as well but i really gotta be careful with how i go about it. I'll leave you with this for the time being. Again, thank you a lot for the kind words, I really am very grateful and touched esp by that last part about staring with the big feeling stuff eeeeeeeeeeeeee really wow T T that's so lovely and a big compliment thanks ty ly

[mouseratz]

No one is a fat “phobe”. I was fat as a kid too and only up until a couple years ago I wasn’t. I’m skinny but not instagram skinny like normal skinny and after I eat I look like I gained even more weight till I wake up again, like normal. I was fat too the difference is I don’t complain about it online and make it the base of my identity. And you take everything in the worst way, nobody is mad your autistic or fat, but when u do the above things like complain it just is sad. There’s other things to talk and think about. I’m sure it’s not fun thinking about it for you.

Y'know I'll feed a troll a little bit now just because i'm bored. Are you, like, not familiar with the concept of bloating? (Of course your stomach looks bigger when you eat. That's kind of how those work- they stretch to contain your meal while it digests. that's what a stomach does.)

And I'll be pretty obvious for you, get really personal- there was a period in my life where I didn't eat much at all. I did starve myself, though not with the express purpose of being skinny (my anxiety made me feel sick way too often), and I did lose some weight, I'll give you. I ate a meal or less daily, skipping entirely some days, and my stomach hurt all the time, for around two years. The weight loss was noticeable enough that people would comment how good I looked and must've been feeling, even though my mental illnesses were at their peak and I was very close to committing suicide (and would've said as much if they asked. but most people didn't. because I was losing weight, I must've been taking care of myself, right?)

I still, at my absolute skinniest, would be, by BMI, be categorized at the borderline of overweight and obese. Fatness is often genetically determined, there's only a certain range your body will tolerate, simply. We are told otherwise because it sells- it sells weight loss products and extreme diets, and while exercise isn't innately bad, it absolutely pressures people into more extreme routines there, too, and buying more of that shit. It financially benefits a lot of people to say fatness is a disease in of itself to sell cures that really do not do shit. All of the studies we have show that sustained weight loss is INCREDIBLY difficult to achieve past a certain level (no, I'm not linking, because I'm lazy, ill give you that, too), and big fluctuations in weight repeatedly (up and down, often called "yo-yo"-ing or "yoyo dieting") are NOT good for the body (yet, people are still encouraged for the effort, and blamed on being "gluttonous" or "lazy" or "undisciplined" for being unable to keep weight off).

And, past all of that, even if fatness was something that made you sick- how would that justify treating fat people like this? the harassment, the disbelief, the entitlement, for just having people aware of your body? where is the kindness, if you really think we're so suffering? why is it all holier-than-thou condescension?

anon, you seem like you are very new to the idea of fatphobia, which is why I've taken my time to explain anything at all. I would recommend looking into this topic more, but also try to understand how other people feel instead of taking the time out of your day to send rude messages to someone you've never met.

plus, if you scroll through my blog, you'll see a lot more shit posts and discussions about anything else. I like to draw, I make art. I collect toys, and post about that. Have you looked at anything in my profile but the post that got 20k notes & my responses? I am a whole person, I'm just not going to shut up about my fatness or my mental illnesses because they're part of it. This is a picture you've painted wholly for yourself to justify your disgust of something I said.

[limeade-l3sbian]

NOT AANG. "the hero gets the girl" is a bad narrative, and i'm not particularly fond of either "childhood friends to lovers" (in most contexts) or the specific "fated to be together by destiny" path they went (where she isn't really into it but goes with it in the end, anyway). but it's repeatedly shown aang's affections are not something she wants or reciprocates until the very end, when he saves the world, as if saying "yes, that unattainable woman WILL become attainable if you do a good thing and/or change her circumstances." it's really gross, especially when she had already spent a large portion of her life having to provide for men, and define herself in relation to men (both in terms of allegiance and opposition), and even more so because it's clear she views him as a child (or even a brother) for a significant amount of the plot.

i think zuko would have been a good candidate. i don't necessarily ship it (because they were kids...), unless we reimagine zuko as the (still autistic) butch lesbian i would have preferred him to have been, but they have a lot going for them. both of them are siblings of two who had to grow up too fast after losing their mothers, both of them had siblings who disrespected them, they fire/water dynamic is a very good one, they both had pressure to fill certain roles in their families (katara facing misogynistic expectations to be a caretaker and not much else, and zuko facing expectations to be the perfect heir to an imperialist nation). honestly my main issue is less with the content and more with the fact that most people who ship zutara seem to make fanart depicting them as wayyy too adult for their ages. the way they draw katara (who is 14 years old iirc) in particular has always really creeped me out.

but i also agree that katara should probably not settle with any boys/men for a long time, and try to learn how to live her life as her own person as thoroughly as possible instead of committing herself to anyone (especially not a male, considering her story) so early on in life. idk how long that would take her to do, because she has a lot of baggage to sort through, but i truly believe it's what is best for her and what would make her happiest. she's strong, so i think she could maybe work through the bulk of it by her mid 30s and start dating then? but it's all just headcanon.

Let me lick your brain, anon. You've taken the words right out of my mouth.

[yukarinuniversaltraveler]

An extremely long life update

Copy-pasted from a news post on my Newgrounds page: https://yukarinladyboss495.newgrounds.com/news/post/1381639

Hey, so I just kinda disappeared out of nowhere with only a vague comment about going on a hiatus but never making any "official announcement" about it. So here I am, just tryna get y'all up to speed with what's been going through my life. Nothin' much, but still quite a lot, so when I make a comeback to all art places, I'm gonna have to do some heavy rework of all my social media to make sure everything's up to date, since many things are very outdated.

So first off, the reason why I went on this hiatus was because of the heavy burnout and a lot of pressure that I was putting on myself, on top of being very emotionally unstable due to gruesome things happening in my life (cutting ties with "friends" that manipulated me, feeling awful about myself, my art, and everything I do, added to having an overall bad luck strike for some months, where it seemed like I could not do a single thing right without messing up five in the process), so I was forcing myself to draw to exhaustion just to keep doing something, so I wouldn't have an anxiety attack. But I just couldn't keep on doing that, which is why I decided to stop producing art for most of this year.

The emphasis is on the word "producing". I'm still making and creating new art, but putting less and less effort into it, and just drawing anything I felt like at the moment, mostly just pencil sketches that I posted on my Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, and refraining from creating digital art.

It's worked wonders on my psyche, and with every week that went by, I began to "fall in love" again with drawing. I still do not plan to return to making art "seriously", but when I do, I definitely will change the way I produce art, so I can still find the art process enjoyable without putting too much "unnecesarily pointless" effort into it. Some of the sketches I made got a lot of likes and attention, easily putting the rest of my artworks to shame! So yeah, there's that.

The second reason is that since I am a person who just-so happens to be and live in Venezuela, my Paypal account got terminated when I received a very much needed donation, and now I cannot accept support from anyone until I can find a suitable replacement to use that is not Paypal. This means that I am no longer taking commissions(not that I ever got any commissions to begin with), and my Ko-Fi account has donations turned off, essentially locking away all the exclusive content that was uploaded there. Then I watched that Duchess Celestia video where she talked about Ko-Fi's lack of security and how she lost a lot of money, so it's safe to say that I will quit using Ko-Fi altogether. I'm planning to migrate all my content to Patreon so my content is still available for, idk, some lost wandering soul that sends me money probably by mistake, but till then, all of my more recent artworks are banished to the Shadow Realm.

The third reason is that my ol' dinosaur PC is finally gonna get upgraded to 64 bits, so I had to do the tiresome task of making backups of everything I had on it, using only one 23 GB USB drive. Because of that, I couldn't make any digital art even if I wanted to, because I do not have the program to do it, so yeah, if anything, I'd call that a win. That said, once my PC is fully functional again, THAT is when I will be able to produce digital art normally again, so my hiatus will go on a little longer after I feel fully "recovered".

That, in a nutshell, is why I went on this massive hiatus, and let me tell ya, hiatuses are underrated! I know y'all who live off of art have your brains consumed by hustle culture and wouldn't take a break even if your working hand fell off your arm, but as someone who never had art as a career option, taking this time off was the best thing I could ever do. I feel rejuvenated! I'm starting to enjoy things again! I'm happier! I'm exploring new things and rediscovering things that I'd forgotten about or left behind!

I am much better now!

So yeah what I'm trying to say, is that this perception of taking a break as something bad that has to be avoided, and more like a positive thing, seriously! People gotta stop focusing on those silly Twitter numbers and start focusing more on their health and well-being!

"Yeah but it's not that simple, some of us need to make art for a living", brother, I am not looking for a debate, please do not try to reply with this, because I will ignore you. I am in the right, and so are you. Let's just agree to disagree, and move on with our lives, okay?

And that would be it! Just dropping by to let y'all know that I'm still breathing, that I haven't given up on Newgrounds, and that hopefully soon I will return with more art and better than ever!

As my favorite FNaF character would say, I always come back. ;)

Be seein' ya!

[self-loving-vampire]

Yeah I 100% agree re: having so many things to do/not enough time to do them.

I already look at this like

Welp, at least I'll literally never run out of things to do

but also my second biggest fear (after ceasing to exist) is that I'll invest too much time/energy into something, anything, only for it to not pan out, because the sense that my existence is finite hangs over my head like the Sword of Damocles.

It's bad enough that this already happened once with grad school, and even regular college to a certain extent. Any uncertainty makes me wary of long-term commitment because any time spent suffering for a goal I don't end up achieving is too long when I could have been doing something more valuable.

There are so many things I want to do, and half of them aren't even new things. There are certain games I could play forever, and I'll never get tired of iterative drafting character models, or working on the board/card game I've been designing for the past 20 years.

And you're right, on top of everything I know I like, stuff keeps coming out so fast that I'm already way behind on so much, and it takes me so long to do anything, and I hate having to choose between enjoying the things I know I like but that take time to enjoy and trying to keep up. Especially when so many things are "live" events, because what really translates to is pressure to prioritize things that are "limited time only", or else be unable to enjoy them because I'm too fixated on something else.

Sometimes I'm too unfocused to do much of anything at all. I don't draw nearly as often as I used to, and I hate it. I feel like the only way I ever make progress on something is when I hyperfixate on it, but I have so many things I'm interested in that I can't prioritize anything if it means sacrificing something else like some people seem to be able to do, and more often than not I just feel too guilty about wanting to do one thing while feeling like doing something else that I can't effectively do either.

Sometimes I wish I could just stop time and think, without feeling the pressure to act before I run out of time. But really I wish time didn't exist. That I didn't have to worry about decision making or regret because eventually I could get around to everything. Because as it stands it will never be enough.

In terms of people, I'd honestly be happy to never meet a new person again, which is admittedly paradoxical, because I only "met" you (read: found your blog) recently, and you're such a source of hope that things can work out for someone like me that it's proof positive there are new people out there I could benefit from meeting.

But honestly I could spend forever with just my best friend (and a head full of semi-autonomous sub-personas, although I don't consider myself plural either), because everyone else in my life either seemingly values me less than I value them, or doesn't understand me well enough.

I don't know if I'll ever get to know you well enough to be considered your friend, but just knowing you exist makes me feel less alone, and I hope we both get to live together with the people we love.

Yeah, it would be much more relaxing if you could afford to waste a lot more time pursuing interests that you might get burned on and just go on with your life as if there wasn't much of a cost to doing that. Having a radically longer lifespan could help with that.

But even without that, I think it's important to try to enjoy the present as much as you can. There's definitely times in your life where you may feel like you're just enduring in hopes that the future will be better (and a lot of the time it is), but it's still worth trying.

I actually feel a lot like how you describe regarding meeting people, by the way. I remember when I was young I felt like "loneliness" was not really something I experienced and I typically preferred to spend time alone with the computer or books even when I had the opportunity to interact with people I got along with.

It took me a bit to really open up to my first real friend group (which master was a part of) too, and even though I felt as if I didn't need to interact with people to maintain my emotional state they still did help motivate me to leave and survive even though I used to be pretty hopeless about that kind of thing.

But it wasn't really that I needed "people" in general, but rather that those specific individuals were kind and supportive in ways I was not expecting. I would have been indifferent to most others, and even expected that those who were physically around me at the time were not safe to be honest with. They never really knew me as a result.

Even then, those friends were online. Even after making them I spent years not really bothering to meet people in person (and I still don't make any effort to do that).

That said, I'm getting attached to people I only recently met once again and feel like it's helping my already-good mood.

I don't know if maybe I'm just somewhere on the kuudere spectrum about this kind of thing.

[whentherewerebicycles]

I CAN GET THROUGH THIS WEEK and then I can get through the two weeks after that and then it will be thanksgiving and then it’s basically just a downhill slide to christmas. and then I can maybe restart a low dose of my meds if I’ve made it to the second trimester 🫠 I am feeling superrrrr unmotivated about work stuff right now but I think it’s just a mix of being off my meds, still feeling kinda in limbo about pregnancy stuff and thus not feeling secure enough to plan for the future, and also being in kind of a lull of the semester where I don’t have a ton of stuff to look forward to coming up. gonna think through some things under the cut

THIS WEEK:

I have to go into campus for an hour tomorrow morning ughh so I honestly might as well just commit to spending most of the day on campus. I think I could get myself to feel less feet-dragging dread about the upcoming weeks if I just power through a bunch of stuff on my list. for instance I’m dreading this workshop thurs and that dread is coloring the whole week so why don’t I make myself stay on campus and power through the workshop materials tomorrow? also I want to give myself permission to keep it simple/casual—it’s a small group of students and I can make it feel interactive just by asking them questions and engaging them in some group strategizing about how to tackle the thing I’m training them to do. I think if I approach it less as “I must ensure they are entertained” and more as “I can make this a collaborative exercise where I also draw on their knowledge/expertise” it will feel naturally more engaging for them and lower stress for me. I have so many of these random one-off presentations and workshops coming up and I put soooo much pressure on myself to make it Entertainment!!!!! capital E for them, but I need to remind myself that like… that’s not my teaching philosophy in general and also things tend to go better when I have a looser, more flexible plan instead of something super scripted.

ok. so I will go to campus tomorrow and I will finish this workshop AND get a good solid draft of the annual report—I don’t necessarily need to write all the text yet but I want to do the annoying work of gathering all the info/data in one place and deciding how I’m going to organize it. if I can do both of these things I will feel significantly less trepidation about the week to come and also I’ll feel smug about being prepared in advance.

tuesday is also a lot of weird unstructured time which I am prone to frittering away & then feeling really bad about if I don’t plan very deliberately. so I think on tues I may make it my goal to spend at least one hour brainstorming for the other much longer/more involved workshop I have to run in a couple weeks. I don’t need to have everything totally prepped since it’s still so far out but I think I’d feel less of the free-floating nerves about it if I had a solid grasp on my learning goals for the workshop + a decent grasp on the activities I want them to do. oh and I can also spend tuesday finishing the annual report. then wednesday will be packed fortunately so I won’t have time to fret about the ultrasound thurs!! hopefully thurs will go well and I’ll be buoyed by good news + getting to hang out with my mom and that will get me through to the weekend.

OKAY. I will FACE MY DREAD!! if I just do all this prep work early I’ll feel sooooo much better and then it genuinely won’t matter if I waste a little time because I won’t be procrastinating on anything I’ll be basking in the glow of being ahead of schedule.

[theoldandnewfirm]

Abandoned fic snippet #4

Another snippet! This one is from a ~spicy~ Trollhunter!Barbara stricklake fic.

This one began as a fill for the prompt "dry humping," and ended up abandoned because I couldn't think of how they got into or would get out of the situation described. I may revisit it someday because I still like the prompt and I want to finish something for it.

---

She feels a certain hardness pressing against the top of her thigh which is…fine. Erections were a normal male reflex response to extreme stress. Just like her thrumming blood and the heat between her legs.

She knows this. She’s a doctor.

But then he shifts away—maybe to get more stable footing, or to discretely relieve the awkwardness of their current position— and he slides against her just so in the process. And the sound she makes is not one of professional disinterest.

Crap.

The problem is she doesn’t want to.

He stills. The rage in his expression ebbs, leaving behind wariness and, flickering beneath it, interest.

In the space of an instant the nature of their standoff has changed. She knows the rules of this conflict; knows that with a word, she’ll win.

He moves his hips again in a slow, calculated arc that brings his erection to rest in the seam of her thigh. His slacks rasp against the scales of her bodysuit as he gently rocks forward and back, forward and back.

His eyes search her face the whole time, and he seems pleased with what they find there, especially when she mirrors his motions, chasing more friction than the damned armor can accommodate.

“We don’t have to do this, you know,” he says.

There’s a lot there, beyond the whole “dry humping against the wall of his office” thing. Memories flicker through her mind: long conversations over coffee and pastries. Winestained kisses. A thumb rubbing her arm soothingly after a long day at work.

All of them superimposed, now, with blood.

“Then don’t—ah!—make me,” she says, arching up. He’s hit the right angle, the right pressure. “We could be good—so good, working together. But you have to trust me, Walt.”

She doesn’t miss the regret mingling with the lust in his eyes when he speaks. “I trust your resolve. I trust that you’ll try. But you can’t kill Bular, Barbara, further less his father.” He leans over, then, so that his next words ghost over her lips, “You can’t even kill me.”

His teeth catch her lip hard enough to draw a high, tight noise of pain. She retaliates by curling her gauntlet-clad fingers into his hair until the edges of the metal dig into his scalp and he lets out a hiss of pain. This isn’t sex anymore, and maybe it never was— it’s weeks of anger and hurt and want seeking any outlet they can find.

Their bodies fall into a rhythm accompanied by the creak of the old wood desk and the slick sounds she makes as he drives against her.

“You’re so wet,” he murmurs, lips just brushing her ear, “I wonder what they’d say at Trollmarket if they could see you now? Bad enough a human Trollhunter, but one who’s willing to bend for a changeling? Scandalous.”

He punctuates the insult by nipping at her mastoid and oh, that’s cheating.

“Asshole," she says.

“Forged and raised.”

[russilton]

i've been stalking your blog and both your fic snippets and artwork is so beautiful!! i was wondering if i will leave you notes is a finished fic? there was like one post abt it and it doesn't seem to be on ao3 (def already in love with the fic, no pressure if there isn't anything else sending lots of love!)

🥺 I love a good blog stalker, I’m so glad you like both the fics and art! I rlly love being able to do both, even if it triples my wips…

I will leave you notes is so close to finished! It’s the first fic I started writing for F1 RPF, way back in May! But it just kept growing, and I so want to finish it right because I love it so much.

The reason you only see it mentioned once is you’re the first to ask about it! I don’t like to post wips if I’m not sure anyone would like them hahah, not without prompt at least. And I will leave you notes has a slightly less exciting tag line bc it’s just a 2022 season get together fic all about how George and Lewis become more and more tactile with each other.

Additional fun fact: I wrote a whole scene of this sitting on a hill next to the wellington straight bridge at Silverstone when I went to watch Friday practice. Just so I could say that I did it lmao.

But since you’re here, I’ll give you the scene that started it all below the cut:

This first time Lewis touches George, it feels like lightning in his veins. Okay, it isn’t technically the first time, in years of being a Mercedes’ junior they had rubbed shoulders or been dragged into group pictures more than once, but those were accidental, fleeting brushes with no intent behind them.

This though is on purpose, a firm pat and a hand sliding down his arm as Lewis crouches next to where George is squeezed into the mock car for a test seat fitting. His hand is heavy and warm, stopping on George’s wrist and grounding him in a way that shouldn’t be possible. George can barely hear what various engineers are trying to point out to him over the pounding of blood in his ears. Voices fade into the background of George’s periphery, his attention too caught up in the soft tone of Lewis’s voice so close now, the smell of his cologne overpowering. It should make George wince, being this overstimulated, but instead he focuses on trying to take inconspicuous breaths, not too deep, but just enough to draw the smell into his nose.

When his ears stop ringing and he can hear Lewis properly again, he realises he’s supposed to be figuring out if the seat is rubbing anywhere. He thinks of the last time he was in a Mercedes’ seat, cramped tight, feet bruised and knuckles bleeding from trying to perform for the team and himself in Lewis’ crushing absence, the sides of the cockpit not the only thing pressing down on his shoulders. He didn’t get to speak to Lewis after, too caught up in the end of the season, and plagued by guilt-laced frustration. It didn’t feel right to seek him out either, when Lewis was clearly struggling with recovery and probably wouldn’t have appreciated George telling him how much he loved driving his car. The bruises on his calves were a reminder enough of how close he’d been.

This is a world away, the team is already trying to estimate his frame, but he misses the pain somewhat, because he remembers the emotion that came with it. Even a year later he thinks about Bahrain often. Dragging himself out of his memory he forces himself to listen properly to what Lewis is telling him.

“Make sure you shift about, really get a feel for the seat, and tell the team everything. Something that isn’t too bad right now will feel a hell of a lot different after 2 hours, especially towards the front of the grid”

Lewis winks at him then, and George fights the urge to shiver and hopes the flush climbing his cheeks will be written off as excitement. The older Brit is just being friendly, but George feels hero worship and something he doesn’t want to label, churning inside him. Shoving that to the back of his mind to unpack later when he doesn’t have multiple sets of eyes on him, he lets the larger reality of what’s happening set in. This is his seat, he’s in his dream car, next to the greatest driver in the world. He lets a giddy grin overtake him and laughter bubble in his chest.

When his eyes flick to Lewis, he gets a blinding smile back, and George feels that fragile, unlabelled feeling grow. He wants to bottle this feeling, but it’s over quickly, Lewis moving on to talk to senior engineers and machinists about the new car. All George can do is try to focus on what Shov is trying to tell him. It’s not like he won’t see Lewis again, they work together now.

[kmclaude]

Hey Claude, how are you? Ive been going through months of writer's block, and it seems like I can't find inspiration anywhere. Maybe it's because I'm going through a lot in my non-creative life (which is unusual for me), but it's been more than just frustrating, it's been disheartening. So I was wondering, how do you deal with creative blocks? And what media do you go to for inspiration, if you do? Songs, movies, shows, anything really. This summer been long as hell, and I'd be happy maybe just to find somethin new to fixate on lol --🕊 (@pearlwhitetears)

hiiiii @pearlwhitetears sorry you're struggling!!!! creative blocks are hard and suck, especially when creative stuff is like....your escape/relaxation/relief from noncreative life.

for me i feel like a lot of my creative blocks are usually because i either need some new media to jostle my brain (or some old media that i can enjoy on a 'wow, this actress' choice to do x is really good' type analytical level as opposed to a 'wow i am experiencing this for the first time!!!!!!), i need to approach creativity from another angle (usually by sitting at my little bedroom craft desk and doing traditional artwork or typing away curled in a chair on some story or coding a website -- either way, not at my Drawing On The Computer Desk and not Doing A Computer Drawing), or -- often the hardest -- life is sucking ass right now.

for that last one -- the very Externalized Art Block, the kind of "a lot is going on in my life" sort of blocks -- I find it's...mmm, I don't wanna say self fulfilling prophesy or Sisyphean hell cycle, but it's one of those "life sucks -> try to create -> too stressed to create because life sucks -> despair -> life sucks more now" circles that the pressure TO create just adds another weight, another stressor, that feeds back into the stress of noncreative life.

for those...yeah, fuck, those are hard. hell, I'm literally in the middle of one: this time last year a lot of things happened one after another including my car getting totaled, going to the ER, and a terrible hurricane. then less than a year ago my fiancé left me and i am still absolutely devastated by that (and this would've been our anniversary month so you know...yeah, i’m still recovering emotionally) plus my noncreative jobs' have shifted and, while a good shift, it now requires a LOT more brain power. those stressors, good and bad, all stack and stack and take more and more mental, emotional, and other abilities away from your creative pursuits in order to funnel them towards, well, not falling apart -- which is a good thing! it is! not falling apart is generally good! but all that to say -- yeah! i know what you mean! it's a lot and it's super disheartening and exhausting to feel you can't even create!

what i've found, though, that works for me is finding the small small small wins and taking them. make them real. thought of a way to write a scene you've been stuck on? don't feel you gotta go write it all out right now because then you'll smash your head on your keyboard in a rage when it doesn't work right -- but DO jot down those thoughts real quick on a pad of paper. there! you did it, you did A Creative Thing today, you don't gotta do any more, there's 0 pressure. tomorrow you can take a picture of those notes and email them to yourself or otherwise digitize them. and the next day, hey, maybe you can review the notes and write down any other thoughts. etc. and eventually either those single small things will begin to add up until you find the flow again or by doing your One Little Creative Thing it sparks creating another and another and another until you putter out that day (and it's okay to putter out because hey, you did your ONE thing already!)

like shoot, i still haven't done A Creative Task I Need To Do but I did do a small thing to bring me one step closer to said task. one small thing is better than no thing, you know?

anyway, I think that's generally how I try to tackle them. do a little thing. even if that thing is getting out of your head -- journaling whatever thoughts are swirling around.

as for media i go to...it depends! right now i'm watching dear brother/oniisama e on tubi which is great because it is actually entertaining but also episodes keep you interested without aggressively spilling over so you wind up binging and then losing a day and feeling bad about it. so that's been a good sort of time keeper? usually i try to find something interesting on the various streaming platforms, else, i'll lean on some of my reliable comfort movies (you know, like Takarazuka's Elisabeth: Ai to Shi no Rondo because when I hear COMFORT MOVIE I think Japanese adaptation of Viennese musicals about Empress Elisabeth of Austria having severe depression! fun times!) hell, i rewatched The Ring the other day and was struck by how damn good that film still is, since while i am obsessed with the franchise i haven't rewatched it in yeeeeeears. sometimes it's just rewatching something you love but haven't watched in a bit.

i also have gotten into records if you've got a record player (or apparently now they make cassette players that enable you to convert to digital which is cool, the local record stores also sell beaucoup cassettes) which has lead to finding just random cool stuff as well as also forcing myself into a time lock: you can't exactly skip tracks in a record so you're stuck playing a side through, might as well doodle something or write a letter or knock out an easy task while it plays. it helps! because in part i know when the record ends i can get up and stop (or i can get up and flip it and keep on doing my little tasks but i have a guaranteed out.)

(can you tell for me it's been a lot of 'trick yourself into Doing An Art haha'? but hey it's working so far!)

actual media-wise, here's some things i've either gotten into recently that've been really slamming the 'wow not every day is a total shit and art is a thing that may be fun' endorphins button in my brain as well as some Go To Brain Likey stuff:

Perfect Obedience, a Spanish-language film I just got to see with friends on Sunday that was so so soooo good (warning it's about a priest who molests young seminarians and I mean young as in like...middle schooler): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmlZYsz5i7g

Rammstein's latest album, Zeit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-NUBR2kufw&list=OLAK5uy_kEcSS0IizYOnBcB1V0EpkFWVo87eAtFFw

Elisabeth Ai to Shi no Rondo, 2016 Cosmos Troupe version with English subtitles, which 20 bucks says will get copyright strike'd soon but if you like rock operas, ladies, and distracting pretty things, hey!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj0XN3ibpiI

The German-language version of Elisabeth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr8z-yyGqF8

The Hunchback of Notre Dame Musical Studio Recording, because look ok look....look....look i love patrick page: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_kxStpxNrNAtPKNFl8mgwFBUIQqLBBAjKQ

At one point last year I had Hadestown on repeat so uh yeah hope you like musicals because that apparently is my go-to, sorry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kwg1mswuxzY

Oniisama e (found ep 1 on YT lol) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQbvy9Nr9fQ

Oingo Boingo's farewell concert is such a banger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnEkodpneqI

idk man idk i basically throw a lot at the wall that is my brain and hope something sticks. i'm also someone who will listen to one thing on repeat forever OR open spotify and start digging through the algorithmic recommendations off of bands i like until i find something new that punches the feel good button of my brain. it's a fight between COMFORT COMFORT COMFORT FOOD U KNOW AND LOVE and IF I DONT GET A NEW STIMULI RIGHT NOW IWILL LITERALLY UNALIVE

so. yeah. lol. god i hope any of that helps.

[strawberryscorp]

thanks for the tag @ace-aussie-asshole <33

hanks for tagging me @ace-aussie-asshole 🫶

Are you named after anyone?

no, but my full name is actually really pretty. its really uncommon as well, and i let a lot of compliments on it. i wish this wasnt the internet because if i could i would brag about my name all the time haha

When was the last time you cried?

just now, actually. i had my first therapy session ever and it was kinda scary, but my therapist was really kind and we didnt get into anything super triggering yet. she also had a squishmallow frog on her couch that i held the whole time, but there was a dino one on her desk and maybe next time i’ll ask if i can hold that one instead. i really like dinosaurs.

Do you have any kids?

nope, and i dont plan to. i dont think i could handle the pressure of raising a literal human being without fucking them up. i think i’ll just stick to babysitting instead

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

yes haha, but almost always in a joking setting. i try not to ever be sarcastic in a way that sounds rude, yk? i am very good at picking up sarcasm, however, and its really funny when i do. a lot of people seem mean and sarcastic when theyre actually just being funny and its a beautiful realization when that sinks in

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

their facial expressions. i notice the way their face moves, and how they react to stuff. its jsut interesting for me.

What’s your eye colour?

deeep deep brown (the best color). they look almost black. someone told me that when i look in the sun i get little sparkles and my eyes look like the night sky, and thats stuck with me for a while.

Scary movies or happy endings?

well, im weak and i physically cannot watch anything scary. i dont think ive watched a movie that doesnt have a happy ending, if im gonna be honest. as you mightve guessed, disney movies are my favorite.

Any special talents?

i can hoola-hoop really well. my record is four at a time

Where were you born?

the usa (WHAT THE 🦅 IS A KILOMETERR)

What are your hobbies?

reading, writing, listening to music, drawing. id like to get into crochet.

Do you have any pets?

no, but i want one so damn bad. i really love dogs, but the neighborhood where me and my family live doesnt allow them.

What sports do you play/have you played?

i used to play soccer. by play i mean i would pick flowers and stare at the clouds. but i had fun, and thats all that matters.

How tall are you?

not gonna lie i have no idea. im like, slightly less than medium height? lmao i dont really know

Favourite subject at school?

maths, i know i know im a nerd. im just really good at it right now, and a lot of my friends come to me instead of the teacher when they need something explained which brings me so much joy.

Dream job?

honestly? a youtuber or content creator. slightly more realistically, an artist. or someone that works with animals. im pretty open to a lot of careers

@caramelapplesauce

im not sure who else to tag so moots and followers feel free to do this too <33

[questioninqthings]

I've been once in a server here in the fandom. I left when it got overcrowded and too many "celebrities" of the fandom were made to join. (nothing against them but it makes me kinda uncomfortable and I prefer smaller server with less popular people. Draws less attention to drama)

I remember there being a very large list of shippers on that server and I have to admit that I reported some as well... I still feel bad and guilty about it and if there was a way to apologize I would. Back then I was too naive as well and thought of that list to be aware... not a tool to spread hatred... But from what I've seen they're still fairly popular and confident and very open about how much they don't like antis... Have been before but I feel I've added fuel to that...

I also remember in the earliest days of fandom a list being shared around with known shippers on them. I remember feeling forced to share it otherwise I'd be hunted. And mind you, I'm not even someone actively participating in the fandom outside of random asks here and there. The pressure was intense back then (maybe it was also due to the pressure I reported these people... living in fear of being shunned makes you do horrible things it seems) and I'm glad that things have gotten much better nowadays. It's been so long I ever saw this list being shared around here and I wonder if the newer people in the fandom are even aware of such a list! And there are people like you who are trying their best to make things better for shippers and try to stop all the hatred spread by antis just for the sake to hate.

Yup, that sounds a bit familiar. Nowadays I'm a little less afraid of being witch-hunted, especially now after the recent incidents. Antis are beginning to split in a really unexpected way. And I've noticed that most antis are definitely minors -- or at least under 20. (This is MOST I've noticed, not all, of course.)

Surprisingly, there were plenty of people in support of me removing the blacklist -- a VERY surprising amount. I noticed no one left the server or said anything to me. That was honestly relieving, and maybe a step towards the right path.

As the server owner, my opinions are pretty influential. Considering I've shared my opinion to the adults in the server and haven't been directly attacked yet, I hope some progress is being made.

ALSO--

I did hear that there's a "big" theory going around about who I am. And it's probably correct, to be honest! (That is if we're thinking about the same theory in question lol. I have a preeeetty big server and people have caught me voicing my opinion.) I'm getting a lot looser and less caring if people figure it out, because so far, I haven't been confronted.

But I do think the answer can be obvious if you're looking hard enough -- someone recognizable with a DNI status on their front page has suddenly removed that status.

(I do wonder though, are people getting tired of this Blankshipping hate thing?? I expected to get a lot more backlash, tbh-)

[belle-et-inspirante]

Best dating sites for over 50

Best dating sites for over 50

Many local newspapers had online personals in the mid 1990s but were bought out by these big dating sites. From some of the comments it really shows how desperate dating sites are for money that they even advertise in comment sections. You have a much better chance going to local events and you will probably spend less than what you would spend on an online dating site.

Other apps have indicated that they might actually move closer to Facebook. For example, Bumble, founded by a former Tinder executive, said they had already reached out to Facebook regarding how to collaborate. And, “One thing everyone seems to agree on is that Facebook’s effectively endorsing online dating will be a huge legitimization event for the industry,” says Jefferies Internet analyst Brent Thill. According to Amanda Bradford, chief executive of The League, an elite dating app, “Facebook is validating that dating is a high-tech industry with really interesting and hard problems to solve. Still, Facebook could face some obstacles in building enough separation between the dating service and the legacy social network; some users might not like having both activities live on one app.

After giving him some time to cope with his cat passing away, he made plans to see her again and she was thrilled. He canceled the date last minute again because he said his grandma had died. Although this seemed too tragic to be true, she gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was telling the truth. Additionally, if someone is giving you a checklist right away of all of the things they want in a future partner, this may be a red flag for some controlling behaviors. It’s one thing if they express their non-negotiables but it’s another thing entirely if they are listing required traits. If you feel like someone is already trying to change things about you to suit their needs, that’s not okay. How someone initiates a conversation with you will say a lot about how they view you as a person and how they might treat you as a partner.

Online dating users are more likely to describe their overall experience with using dating sites or apps in positive, rather than negative, terms. Some 57% of Americans who have ever used a dating site or app say their own personal experiences with these platforms have been very or somewhat positive. Still, about four-in-ten online daters (42%) describe their personal experience with dating sites or apps as at least somewhat negative. Happily, there are some dating services that are looking to overcome the vanity. For example, Hinge matches people based on personality and preferences and lets you create a more interesting and rounded profile to draw people in. One of the few dating sites designed for affairs, Ashley Madison connects users for discreet encounters.

Basically all a guy like you has to do is instantly grab her attention in a memorable way with both your profile and your messages, then spend the least amount of time possible convincing her to meet you in person. For those who are hesitant to enter the online dating world for reasons related to safety or awkward conversation lulls, Double aims to take the pressure off with Double dates as opposed to one-on-one.

State things that are really important to you and be done with it. Connor turned an attempt at small talk into a rant about “gold-digging whores,” and the dating app was not having it. Matt- But what about when you said you would meet me in real life and we would lose our virginity together. One Love educates young people about healthy and unhealthy relationships, empowering them to identify and avoid abuse and learn how to love better. If you are going somewhere that serves alcoholic beverages, most bartenders are using secret codes to help customers signal, privately, when they need help if they’re getting harassed or feeling unsafe on a bad date.

With no financial requirement, free sites will naturally attract a greater proportion of people who are not really committed to finding a genuine relationship. Memberships you gain additional features such as being able to send more messages and receiving event discounts.

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