#there's always gonna be something about The Oh Hellos in general that will put me in a good mood. whether it'd be-

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Dark Shades of Innocence Lost Part 1: Introductions✨

Club owner! Joel Miller x fem! reader

Series Masterlist

A/N: Here is my new club owner Joel series! Thank you to the lovely @janaispunk for making me this beautiful mood board ❤️ Joel Miller is the biggest menace in this one. I wanted to somehow mix a little 50 Shades of Grey but also create something unique and super hot, so hope you enjoy 50 Shades of pleasure dom Joel! Comments and reblogs are most appreciated. Let me know your thoughts on this one! As always, I LOVE writing and hope you enjoy my stories as much as I love writing and sharing them with you 💕

Rating: Explicit (18+ ONLY MDNI)

Word Count: 9.7k

Tags: No outbreak au, thigh riding, Joel’s dirty mouth, flirting, pining, fingering

Summary: After your friends drag you out to Club Inferno on a Friday night, you meet an unexpected man with dark brown eyes. That man is Joel Miller, who turns out to be the owner of the club. The menace that will turn your life upside down. After not dating for a couple of years, Joel finds out and strikes up a proposition for you. Keep coming back and he’ll make sure you experience pleasure like you’ve never felt before.

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

It’s Friday night and instead of sitting down with a cold glass of white wine and a book on the couch, you’re currently standing in a dress that’s too tight and heels so high you think you’ll fall over at any minute. The tight black dress clings to your body like a suction cup, and the slit in the side of your left thigh is almost showing too much skin the more you move around.

You spent the last hour sitting at your glowing vanity, curling your hair into long spirals and putting on smokey dark eyeshadow that makes your eyes stand out and deep red lipstick that sits matted against your lips. This isn’t your usual. You like to stay in after a long week at the library, not go clubbing till 2:00am. You’re not an extrovert like all your friends are, so this is a once in a while thing you even do.

You take one more look at yourself in the mirror and sigh heavily. This will be good for you. You need to socialize. You need to get back into the dating field, but that honestly just sounds like a nightmare right now. Dating in general just sucks. It’s like no man knows how to even properly treat a woman nowadays. Your last boyfriend was a complete nightmare. Tall, lanky, sports obsessed, demanded blowjobs without even offering to go down on you once. That’s how all the guys had been in the past, and you were honestly just over it. Fuck men.

Before you can get all worked up about past boyfriends, you head to your apartment door when you hear a sharp knock and giddy laughter on the other side. That meant the girls were here. Here goes nothing. When you open the door, Brianna and Taylor lose it when they see what you’re wearing.

“Oh my God, look at you!” Brianna screams as Taylor twirls you around to get a good look at you. Brianna’s soft brown eyes and long blonde curls look you over from head to toe. “You’re such a babe! And that dress? God, it makes your ass look so good and that slit in your dress?! You are definitely going to get laid tonight,” she shrieks as she gives you a quick hug hello.

“Bri, stop!” you laugh, shaking your head no. “I am not getting laid tonight. I’m so over guys,” you cringe as you roll your eyes.

“Oh, please. All the men are going to be looking at you tonight, you little slut!” Taylor smirks as her green eyes sparkle like emeralds when she looks at your short dress. Her pinned up red hair sits perfectly in a messy bun atop her head, her white heels digging into the wooden floor as she circles you.

“No, guys. Really, I don’t need to try to find someone tonight. I’m only going out because you’re forcing me to,” you complain with a huff.

“Sure, babe. That vibrator that sits in your nightstand isn’t gonna get you anywhere fast. You need to be laid properly. So we’re gonna find you a man tonight if it’s the last thing we do,” Brianna says with a beam of a bright smile.

“Whatever, let’s just go. I need a drink,” you whine as they pull you out of the comfort of your small apartment and whisk you out the door, shoving you inside the White Cadillac that sits idle on the corner of the curb.

You slump in the front passenger seat as soon as Brianna drives off, entering the busy traffic of Austin as the city lights flash brightly outside the window. You sigh and lean on the edge of the window as Taylor Swift’s “Karma” blasts through the speakers. Taylor and Brianna sing along loudly, but you sit mute with your arms crossed across your chest.

“Oh, cheer up, babe! You’re supposed to be having fun tonight, not brooding in the corner like a pent up prisoner,” Brianna laughs as she hits your arm lightly.

“I’d be in a better mood if I was curled up on my couch with a good book,” you groan as you stifle out another sigh.

Taylor leans over the back of the front seat and takes a good look at you. “Don’t be such a buzzkill. You will have fun tonight whether you like it or not! This club is to die for. I know it just opened last year, but seriously it’s the hottest club in Austin,” she says excitedly with a big grin zipped across her contoured face.

“What’s the name of this club again?” you ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“Club Inferno,” Taylor says with a smirk. “Inferno is right. It’s hot as fuck in there, and the men that go are super sexy,” she swoons as she sits back against her leather seat.

“Club Inferno, huh? Wonder how the owner came up with a name like that,” you ask curiously as you focus your sights on the busy sidewalks that are littered with dressed up couples and groups that look like they’re about to head to the club as well.

“I don’t know, babe. Maybe you can ask the owner yourself,” Brianna smirks in the front seat.

“Who’s the owner?” you ask, trying not to sound too intrigued.

“I don’t know. Doesn’t say online, but I hear rumors that he’s ridiculously hot. Like I’m talking about an 11/10 hot,” she smirks as she pulls into a parking spot a few feet from the lit up club.

“Sounds like someone I wouldn’t be interested in. He already sounds arrogant and like all the other men I’ve dated,” you spit out, a snarl hanging on your lips.

“Oh, just shut up and have some fun tonight, please. You’re killing my vibes,” she says as she rolls her eyes and puts the car in park.

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll try to have fun,” you sigh as you step out of the car onto the hard concrete, pulling your dress down so it doesn’t ride up and expose too much skin.

“Good, now let’s go drink and dance!” Brianna and Taylor scream together. You just laugh and follow them to the front of the club, stopping at the metallic black double doors as you get your IDs checked. Once they give them back, you step into the club and gasp at the sight.

The inside is absolutely gigantic. The club sits two stories high with a shimmering disco ball hanging in the middle of the crowded dance floor. The walls are pitch black with red glowing signs all around that say “Club Inferno”. The sign that sits behind the bar is also glowing red and says “Sinners Welcome”. The bar has a large mirror splayed across the wall with bottles of beer and liquor stacked high against it. The bar top has a sleek dark wooden hue to it and the bar stools are made of black leather material.

There’s dark booths all around that are marked off for VIP lounges, private parties, or reservations made prior. Crystal chandeliers hang from the ceiling as they make shiny patterns on the dark hardwood floors. An open lounge area sits in the opposite corner of the bar where leather couches and small glass tables sit scattered around. You look away when you see a cozy couple making out in a corner of one of the couches and try not to roll your eyes.

When you turn towards the dance floor, you see the glow of fluorescent blue and red flashing lights mix in with the glittering disco ball as the Dj spins some tracks on a large display against the wall. The dance floor is crowded, maybe two-hundred people at the least stand grinding up on each other as Rhianna blasts through the speakers. Two platforms with poles attached to the center sit in the back corners of the room for anyone to use at their leisure.

Behind the bar sits two long, dark hallways with various rooms attached down the shadowed corners of the hallway. A spiral staircase sits next to the second hall and leads up to the second floor. From here you can’t see what all is upstairs, but it looks like another bar sits up there and maybe some pool tables from what you can see. This club wasn’t anything like you expected it to be. You thought it’d be small and maybe less crowded. Boy, were you wrong.

“Don’t you love it in here?!” Taylor asks excitedly as she twirls around in her short forest green strapless dress and pulls you to the dance floor.

“It’s a lot bigger than I imagined it to be,” you shout out loudly against the beat of the music. “Tay, we just got here. Can’t we sit down?” you whine as Brianna pulls you into the middle of the raging crowd.

“Not until after a couple of dances,” Taylor smiles as she pushes her back against a man in a suit that grinds up against his blonde girlfriend. You groan but go along with them.

“Loosen up, hun. The night’s just started. We’ll get some alcohol in you, and you’ll be just fine,” Brianna beams as she grabs a few Jell-O shots from the bartender that makes her away across the busy dance floor. “Drink up!” she yells as she hands you a container of red liquid.

“Fine,” you groan as you pop the shot into your mouth and instantly taste cherry and vodka mixed together. It slides down your throat easily, and you put the empty vial on the bartender’s tray. Taylor and Brianna both cheer after you take the shot and start grinding up against each other as the music switches over to a Beyoncé song.

You decide to try to enjoy yourself and sway your hips, getting into the song as the dance floor rocks back and forth. You keep your focus on the shimmering disco ball and watch the way the sparkling glass reflects off the walls. You keep your eyes from staying too much in the crowd and focus on your friends as they lift their arms and shimmy their hips to the beat.

After a couple of long songs, they agree to take a break and get some drinks. You and Taylor find an empty couch and sit down while Brianna goes up to the bar and orders a round of LITs for the table. After a few minutes, she returns with the glasses of alcohol and passes them out. You take a big gulp and feel the remnants of alcohol run down your throat with a slight burning sensation staying stagnant in your mouth.

“So, see any cute guys you might be interested in?” Taylor asks as she looks around the crowded club, focusing her eyes on a tall man with short blonde hair and sharp blue eyes. “What about that one, huh? He’s kinda cute,” she says with a flirtatious smile as she eyes him.

You scrunch your nose up and shake your head. “No, Taylor. Not that one. Maybe you can go talk to him. He looks like your type,” you laugh as you watch her eye him up and down. You take another sip of your drink and set it on the glass table as the condensation drips down the glass.

Brianna smirks at you and looks from the bar, back to you a few times. “Bri, what? I know that look. That’s a plotting face you always make when you’re up to no good.”

She just smiles wider. “You see that man at the bar? That one on the left corner with the white collared button-up shirt?” She points him out and you flick your eyes over in that direction nonchalantly.

The man she points out is sitting in one of the barstools and sips casually on a cold glass of what looks to be whiskey. You slowly drag your eyes over him, taking in the way his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows to expose thick veins that spider all the way down his arms to end in massive hands. His biceps bulge against the cotton material every time he flexes and moves to grab his cold glass of alcohol. His dark blue jeans press up against muscular thighs and a fancy black watch sits latched onto his left wrist. His hair is dark and streaked with grey lines as thick tousled curls sit wildly atop his head. A dark, patchy beard shadows his sculpted, sharp jawlines.

Your eyes move over his greying locks again slowly, taking in the way a couple curls fall against his forehead subtly. His curls look soft to the touch, you almost wonder what it’d be like to run your fingers through his hair or maybe drag your nails against that salt and pepper scruff…

You jolt out of your daydream as his eyes linger over to yours, calmly taking another drink of whiskey as his eyes stay locked on yours. You pull your eyes away and look back at Brianna. “What about him?” you ask with a shaky breath.

“The man hasn’t stopped looking at you since you walked into the club,” she giggles as you go wide-eyed.

“Oh, he has not. Please, he’s got to be looking at you or Taylor,” you reply as she looks back up at the bar.

“I don’t think so, honey,” Taylor laughs as she knocks you in the shoulder with her arm. “He’s looking straight at you.”

You look back up and freeze. His dark eyes find yours again as a small smirk appears on the edge of his mouth, curling into something that dares you to challenge his gaze. You suck in a breath and look back down, grabbing your drink as you try to calm your nerves down. Calm down, calm down. He’s just a guy. He’s probably not even interested in anything you have to say.

“You’re going to go talk to him,” Brianna smiles deviously as she narrows her eyes and smirks up at you.

“What?!” you choke out, the liquid flowing down your windpipes uncomfortably. “No, no way. I can’t.”

“Yes, you are,” Taylor encourages you. “He’s totally gorgeous. Like come on. He’s clearly at least in his upper forties. Older, probably has a lot of money, dresses nicely, and I see no wedding ring on him,” she smirks, eyes darkening as she gets up and pulls you along for the ride.

“No, Tay. Please, I can’t. I’m not…”

She cuts you off as Brianna joins in, pulling you towards the bar as your feet try to stay planted to the spot you’re in. “You’re not what? Look at you, you’re hot. Don’t waste it by being boring. Go talk to him,” she encourages as she pulls you further, halfway to the bar now as you see him in the corner of your vision eyeing you.

“No, guys. Come on. I’m too… I can’t…”

Brianna stops you from saying anything else. “Look, you're going to go talk to him, and he’s going to buy you a drink, and then me and Tay are going to go back out there and dance. And you’re going to go up there and flirt with him and twirl your hair and get his number,” she says seriously as she drags you to the edge of the bar.

“But I… he’s too… I can’t…” you stutter out.

“Go on, babe. You can do it.” Brianna and Taylor give you a hard push and shove you against the edge of the bar, only a few bar stools away from the man with the dark eyes. “Have fun,” Brianna whispers in your ear with a laugh as she grabs Taylor’s hand and leads her away from the bar, leaving you all alone with your heart pounding uncontrollably in your chest.

You take a seat on one of the empty black bar stools and rest your arms on the sleek bar top, looking over the menu nervously as you flip through the pages of drinks. You don’t look up, afraid that if you do you’ll lock eyes again with the handsome stranger. No more dating, no more dating, no more dating.

“Is this seat taken?” A deep Southern voice fills your ears as you look up and find the man with dark eyes looking down at you.

Fuck.

“Ummm no,” you answer shyly as you tuck a curl behind your ear, cursing your friends for pushing you into doing this.

“Mind if I sit?” he asks with a raised brow. You nod and he pushes back the empty bar stool, lightly brushing his leg against yours as a chill runs down your spine at the contact.

“Can I buy you a drink?” he asks as he looks you over slowly, making your eyes widen at the action.

“Oh, sure,” you respond meekly, putting the drink menu down before you rip it in half from the way you’re anxiously flipping through the pages.

“So, what’s your drink of choice?”

You muster up an ounce of courage and fire back a question without thinking. “What do you think my drink of choice is?” you ask flirtatiously, batting your eyelashes up at him as if to win him over. Your adrenaline spikes in your body, and it’s as if the alcohol turned you into another girl.

What the fuck is wrong with you? This isn’t like you. You don’t flirt with men at clubs, especially gorgeous men like him. But he’s so hot, you can’t resist. Fuck.

He chuckles at the question and drags his eyes nice and slow over your body, clenching his jaw up as he concentrates on you. You can see the calculations and assumptions he’s making swirl and tick in his mind. He’ll never guess right. He’s just like any other guy. They all get it wrong, always.

His eyes flick back up to your face as a gentle smile spreads over his mouth, forming dimples that press deep into his cheeks.

Fuck, he’s pretty.

“Hmmm, let me see,” he starts slow, his words slipping like melted butter off his tongue. “You don’t seem like the type to drink hard liquor. Fireball? Definitely not. Tequila? Can’t see it. But hmmm, let me guess…” He takes another good look at you and stares into your eyes. Those warm brown eyes searing through you as you melt into them.

God, those eyes. Those fucking brown doe eyes.

“Rum? Maybe. Vodka? Most likely. Whiskey… maybe a whiskey girl. But you…” He leans in closer, and you can smell the cologne dripping off his skin. Can practically taste the whiskey that encompasses his lips. Can almost feel how his mouth would taste with his tongue gliding against yours.

You focus on deep breaths as he rests his large hand right next to yours, barely brushing the tips of his fingers against yours as goosebumps start to crawl slowly up your arm. He laughs lightly as he forms a guess with a Southern drawl dripping off his tongue. “Malibu tonic? Guessin’ you’re a fruity cocktail kind of girl.”

“How did you know that’s one of my favorite drinks?” you ask with a wide-eyed stare.

“Just an assumption, sweetheart. I’m pretty good at readin’ people. Especially ones as pretty as yourself,” he smirks, turning toward the bar to call over one of the bartenders.

Sweetheart? Pretty? Oh fuck, you’re in trouble.

As soon as the blonde bartender comes over, he wastes no time and gives her your drink orders. “One Malibu tonic and one Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey on the rocks. Thanks, Hailey,” he smiles softly and nods as she smiles back and turns away, getting the drinks prepared in a flash.

Hailey? Of course he knows her by name. He probably knows every fucking girl in this obscene club by name.

You frown, a tinge of jealousy hitting the back of your closed up throat. But why are you jealous? You don’t care about this man, don’t care if he even buys you a drink. You don’t date, and there’s a reason you don’t anymore. But that’s a dark place you won’t go tonight or ever again.

He notices the shift in your mood as you sit up straighter and clench your jaw into place, focusing on not losing your temper over a simple thing as a name.

“Y’alright there? Look a little tense,” he asks, hovering his thick fingers closer to your hand as you pull away from him.

“I’m fine,” you bite back a little too harshly. He doesn’t respond, only nods. He knows you’re not fine, but he doesn’t press on it.

When the bartender comes over to drop off your drinks, you can’t help but notice the small silver name tag that’s latched on to the front of her black low-cut tank top. The name Hailey is in sparkly letters, and you feel shame instantly cover your face.

You’re a fucking idiot.

You take a sip of the fruity liquid and let it slide down the back of your throat, along with the bitterness and jealousy that was there seconds ago. You don’t even know his name, and you’re already acting jealous? Jesus. You’re in way over your head.

He takes a swig of his amber colored drink and swallows, a gentle smile returning to his handsome face. He sticks out his hand and you take it slowly, feeling the back of his calloused fingers as they burn into your hand, simmering like a hot fire as it runs through your veins. It’s firm, strong, powerful. And you know. You know you’re in trouble.

“The name’s Joel. What’s yours, sweetheart?” His hand lingers maybe a little too long in your hold, but you don’t shake him off. You just let him drop it when he’s ready, feeling the now cold hand as you flex your fingers into a fist in your lap, trying to remember exactly how his hand fit perfectly in yours.

You tell him your name, and it floats like a siren’s song off his lips, a trance like lull that sucks you in. “That’s a pretty name, darlin’. You come around here much? Haven’t seen you before. Think I would’ve remembered a pretty face like yours,” he says with a smirk, his coffee colored eyes focused on you. You have to work hard to find words before you lose all control of your voice.

Pretty? Oh, he’s laying it on thick.

“No, but sounds like you’re a usual here. You come here a lot or something?” you ask, eyes fixed on the way he holds his crystal glass with a strong grasp.

“Somethin’ like that,” he chuckles, a look like he knows something you don’t displaying on the lines of his forehead.

“Of course you do. Not me, this is my first time here,” you say as you shift uncomfortably in your bar stool.

“And? How d’you like it?” he asks with questions lingering in his bright eyes.

“Honestly? It’s okay. It’s a little loud for my taste, but it’s decent,” you say as you take another sip of your fruity concoction.

“Oh, just decent? Tell me more of your thoughts,” he says as he puts an elbow on the bar top and leans his cheek on his knuckles, waiting for you to answer.

You shake your head. “Nah, you don’t want to hear my thoughts. They’re… well, they’re…” You lose yours words to the blaring music that stirs across the crowded dance floor.

“Enlighten me,” he says with a husky voice while he stirs the amber liquid, eyes fixed intently on you.

You gulp at the sharp eyesight, your knees knocking against the smooth bar walls anxiously. “Well, there’s no food here for starters. I’d kill for some chicken strips right now,” you groan, salivating at the thought of food right now.

He laughs in response. “Sweetheart, this is a club. This ain’t a cheap bar with finger foods.”

You snap back at him. “Well, it’d be a hell of a lot better if the club had some.”

His eyebrows raise in defense, holding out a hand to calm you down. “Alright, calm down, tiger. Gonna start seeing claws in a second,” he laughs as you sigh and nod your head. “What else?” he asks.

“What else what?” you question as you swirl your drink around mindlessly.

“What else would you change about the club?” His eyebrows knit together like he’s concentrating on what you have to say.

When was the last time a guy ever listened to you? Whatever, he asked so you’ll tell him exactly what you think.

“The signs are all red. It’d look better if there were also pink ones. Gives some light contrast and a more subtle look,” you shrug, sipping on more of the tasty alcohol in your hands.

“Hmmm, might not be a bad idea. Anything else?” His gaze stays on you as he throws back a gulp of whiskey, sitting the crystal glass back on the edge of the flat bar top.

“Why do you care? I’m just rambling,” you say with a convicted tone.

“I might’ve talked to the owner a couple of times here and there. Might give him some suggestions next time I see him,” he smirks, making you roll your eyes at his perfect dimples.

God, why does he have to be so pretty.

“Okay then,” you say with a smug look. “The alcohol menu could use some more options, other than tons of beers. Make it more friendly for cocktails and mixed drinks. And the VIP booths? Maybe save some for general guests to reserve when they get here. The Dj? He needs to mix up the tunes, these songs get old pretty quick. Throw some throwbacks in there, play some more upbeat rock songs. And for rooms? Maybe open up some private rooms for guests who want to chill in a quieter area where they can think. It’s fucking loud in here,” you say sternly as you cross your leg over your knee and give him a devious smirk, feeling like you just let him have it.

All he does is shake his head and let out a low whistle, a small chuckle rumbling from deep within his chest. “You’re a little firecracker, ain’t ya? Shit. You sure got a lot to pick apart. Don’t ya?”

You just shrug nonchalantly. “It’s just what I’d do differently. Not that my opinion matters.”

“Sure it does, sweetheart. I’ll be sure to give him the rundown when I see him.” He winks at you, and you feel a weird flutter in your stomach that you shouldn’t even be feeling. You chase it down with another drink of alcohol, letting the burn fill the void.

“This isn’t your scene I’m guessin’?” he asks carefully, honey eyes drawing back to yours again patiently.

“No, it’s really not,” you shake your head defeatedly. “My friends dragged me out tonight, said I needed to get out of the house and let loose. I had a really long week and I was looking forward to staying in with a glass of wine, but no. Just had to come out,” you say with a huff, your cheeks growing crimson with the sudden awareness of your bad attitude and complaining.

Christ. Just calm the fuck down. You’re going to scare him off.

“What is your scene then?” he asks, ignoring your whole meltdown about coming out in the first place.

“What?” you ask with wide eyes, surprised he wants to continue the conversation with your depressing ass.

“What’s your scene, angel?”

Angel. Oh.

“Oh, uh. I… I like more quiet environments. Like bookstores. There’s nothing more I like than strolling through a bookstore with an iced coffee in my hand, just smelling the fresh pages of the books,” you smile, thinking of the last time you went to the local bookstore and fawned over the latest edition of The Odyssey. Classics were some of your favorites.

“Books, huh? What’s your favorite?” he asks, general curiosity piqued as he continues staring at you, fixedly.

You eye him suspiciously but continue. “Pride and Prejudice,” you say quietly, eyes averting from his momentarily.

“Ahh, a classic. We are all fools in love,” he quotes almost perfectly, his Southern accent making every word sound like sweet poetry to your ears.

Your eyes grow wider, shock hitting your system. “You know Jane Austen?” you ask incredibly, your hand gripping your cup uncomfortably tight.

“Mhm. Read most of her books,” he says without a hint of surprise in his voice.

He reads classic books. Holy shit.

“Wow. That’s uh-” you lose your concentration, mouth gawking open at him. He reaches out and closes your jaw for you, his calloused fingers burning your skin the more he touches you.

“Don’t act too surprised. Some men like to read the classics too,” he smirks as he drops his hand, ending the contact way too soon. “What else?”

“Huh?” you ask, still shocked at his last words.

“What else do ya like?” His weight shifts just a tad and his knee skims yours as goosebumps form over your skin, the contact almost too much for you.

“Why?” you ask, almost self conscious of yourself. There’s way more interesting girls here than you, more up to his liking probably. You’re boring while all these other girls know how to party. You’re an introvert, you shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t be talking to him.

“Why what?” he asks with furrowed eyebrows, the lines above his forehead wrinkling at the notion as one of his tousled curls fall into his face. You almost want to push it back for him, almost.

“Why the interest in me? I’m not... I’m…”

“You’re not what?” he almost barks out as his eyes get a shade darker. It’s a little intimidating and makes you sit up straighter, aware of all the sulking you’ve done this evening. You’re just making it worse for yourself. You’re going to scare him off.

“I’m not like all these other girls in here. I’m… I’m shy, reserved. I don’t even come close to some of these women in here. I’m…”

He cuts you off as he cups your chin with his large hand, syrupy eyes clouding your vision as he stares at you intently. It makes your heart speed up frantically as blood rushes through your ears uncontrollably.

“That’s the point, sweetheart. You’re not like the rest of them. You’re interesting. You caught my attention. And you’re stunning,” he says smoothly as his eyes drop down the length of you, taking in the large slit in your tight black dress and trailing back up to your eyes, a breath catching deep in your throat.

He drops his hand from your chin and turns back to his glass of whiskey, pouring another shot down his throat as he slides it back against the sleek bar top, running a hand through his wild curls.

God, you want to run your hands through those curls, want to feel just how soft and silky they really are…

A rough voice pulls you from your distant thoughts as a tall, bulky man dressed in all black slides up beside you in the next bar stool, ogling your body as he fans his eyes over you in a disgusting manner. You want to roll your eyes and ignore him already.

“Aren’t you a sexy thing? Let me buy you a drink. What’ll it be? Tequila, beer on tap?” he asks with a snide smirk on his face.

“I've got her well taken care of. Thanks for the offer, though. But she won’t be needing that drink,” he faintly growls under his breath, placing his large hand on your leg as he curls his calloused fingers around your inner thigh slowly. You about jump from the warm contact and how it instantly eases you in a weird way. You barely know the man, why did this feel… safe?

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t realize she was with anyone,” he huffs, eyeing Joel’s hand on your bare thigh as it burns through your skin like a scalding stove.

He’s just a man. He’s just a man. Get it together. You’re not doing this tonight.

“Think she’s in good hands,” Joel breathes, his voice deep and gruff as his eyes narrow at the man. He turns with a nod and walks in the opposite direction, going to find his next victim.

Joel keeps his thick fingers pressed to your thigh for a few more seconds then releases his hand, the same time you let go of the breath you were holding. “Uhh, thanks,” you say awkwardly, leaning against the bar top to look him in the eyes again. In those pretty brown doe eyes that light up tingling feelings that you want to keep at bay.

No hookups. None.

“No problem, sweetheart,” he says as he turns to look at you again, eyes lingering on more unanswered questions.

“So, you seein’ anyone?” he asks as he drags his thumb over the rim of his glass cup, slowly collecting condensation on the tip of his thumb. The sight makes you gulp.

“No,” you say quietly, shaking your head slowly.

“You’re tellin’ me that a girl as beautiful as you isn’t seein’ anyone?” he asks in disbelief, a small disbelieving laugh leaving his lips.

“Well, I’m not,” you shrug, eyes flicking back and forth between the thumb that languidly glides around the edge of the glass and his honey eyes that stay focused on you. It’s intimidating, to say the least.

“Why not?” he asks curiously, an eyebrow raising in question as he waits for your answer. You don’t really have a good one for him, not really wanting to go into the traumatic ex boyfriends you had been with before.

“I dunno. Just haven’t found the right one, I guess. Been busy. And besides, I’m not…” You stop mid sentence, staring at Joel’s scowl on his face. What was he so mad about now? What had you said?

“Don’t give me that answer. Sweetheart, the entire bar is staring at you.” You look behind you and gasp. He’s right. All the men gathered around the counter are trailing their eyes to you, eyes ogling you from a distance, hoping to get a chance to talk to you.

You swing your bar stool back around and stop as your knees lock with his, your eyes focusing on him. Only him. “As for me, I’ve had my eyes on you the minute you stepped through those doors. You’re fuckin’ gorgeous, sweetheart. A real angel, at best,” coffee eyes honing in on you like a hawk stalking its prey. Suddenly you can’t hear the noisy music, can’t hear the clicking of the glasses behind you. It’s just you and Joel, in your own little bubble as the words crash down on you like a siren’s song.

Gorgeous. Sweetheart. You’re in trouble.

“Oh,” is all you can gasp out. He’s charming, almost too charming. And you hate him for it. Hate him for how he’s making you feel. Like you’re special, like you mean something. It makes you sick, so fucking sick.

You take a slow drink of your alcohol, hoping the taste will cool you off from the heat he just gave you. “Tell me, angel. When’s the last time a man has gotten you off?”

You choke on your drink and spit it out, wiping the cloth napkin over your chin as you catch your breath. “Excuse me?” you ask in disbelief.

“You heard me. It’s a simple question. When’s the last time a man has gotten you off?” His jaw tics and his eyebrow rises, his eyes hounding you as he waits for your answer.

You’re speechless, not believing what you just heard. But the way he’s looking at you now tells you he won’t back off till he knows. So you amuse him. “It’s been a couple of years,” you answer quietly, your voice barely audible above the ringing music.

“A couple years?” Joel asks incredulously. “Christ. No wonder you’ve been uptight lately. Y’need somebody to make you feel good, ain’t that right?” he asks with a rough, gravelly voice as he inches closer to you, your hands digging into the material of your black dress as he comes closer, closer, closer.

“I… I’m fine,” you say nervously, but he keeps leaning in, body hovering over yours as his hand ghosts over your thigh, causing goosebumps to raise in his presence.

“You’re not fine, sweetheart. You’re trembling. Your legs are shaking,” he points out as he trails his fingers lightly over your thigh, his whiskey breath breathing down your neck as he runs his lips across the shell of your ear, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up on end.

“I could make you feel so good, sweetheart. Could make you feel things you’ve never felt before. You want it, don’t ya? I can almost smell how bad you want it,” he teases as he whispers into your ear, making your legs squeeze tighter together as you hold in a whine of need.

Fuck, stop. Not tonight, not with him. He’s too charming, too tempting, too hot for you.

The edge of his patchy salt and pepper scruff slides against your jaw, making you want to run your fingers profusely through it as you drag your nails over him. Imagining his mouth between your legs, his tongue on your clit as he makes meticulous circles over you.

Fuck.

You catch your breath and watch him pull back just the slightest, his honey eyes now darker in shade, more prominent as his pupils expand wider into dark circles. “Let me give it to ya, angel. Let me take care of you,” he says with bared teeth, a devilish grin taking form on his face as his body crowds yours against the bar stool, just hovering as his hands cover the sides of you, fingers barely grazing your hips that send a fire right through your lungs.

You catch your breath and say the most logical response. “I don’t need it. I don’t do this, I don’t…”

“You don’t what, darlin’? Don’t let a man make you feel good? Don’t let a man touch you where you need it most?” he purrs, calloused fingers finding your thigh as he runs his hand up your smooth skin, leaving burn marks with every place he touches. It’s hot, sadistic, evil.

“I… I…” You’re completely flustered from him, feeling warmth flood your cheeks. He’s so fucking charming and handsome and fuck. He’s trying to coax you, and he’s doing a damn good job at it, too.

“I can see how bad you want it,” he purrs. “The way your cheeks are flushed, and your breathing is erratic. The way you’re squeezing your thighs together as if to pretend that ache isn’t stirring in there for me. The way you keep sucking on your bottom lip and staring at me with those needy, pretty eyes,” he coaxes, leaning into you again as he runs his hot tongue over the shell of your ear.

And fuck, does it feel good.

“You want it, baby. Give in. Let me fix that throbbing ache in that pretty pussy of yours. Let me turn this good little angel into a bad little devil,” he growls, making a wave of slick run down your center as you choke on a moan. He only laughs at your needy response, your middle completely full of warmth now from his daring actions and smoldering words.

When he finally pulls back, you ask the one question that keeps ringing in your mind. “What’s in it for you?” you ask with the cock of your eyebrow, chin jutting out as you wait for an obnoxious answer that any other man would give you.

“Only the pleasure of knowing I took care of you,” he smirks, eyes glazing over at you with hunger in his deep voice.

“What? You’re not gonna make me get on my knees and give you a blowjob like any other guy would?” you ask with the taste of metallic in your throat, bitter and stale as you swallow it back down. That’s what any other man would do. No one’s ever asked what you wanted, only what they needed. Sick fucks.

“No,” he answers honestly.

“No?” you ask with bewildered eyes.

“No. I’m not other guys, sweetheart,” he states simply, the hunger still there in his dark eyes as his chest rises and falls in waves. He’s looking at you with so much intent in his eyes that it makes you dizzy.

“So, what do you say? Want me to make you feel good?” he asks as he licks his lower lip seductively. The sight about knocks you out of your chair.

“I-uh. I… need a moment. Where are the bathrooms?” you ask hurriedly as you stand up from the bar stool, pulling your short dress down over your thighs.

“Down that dark hall and first door on your left,” he says as he points in the direction of the bathrooms. You nod and race off, dodging a couple making out as you walk around them, eager to get to the bathroom.

You shove past some people dancing and walk as fast as your high heels can carry you. You make your way through the dim lit hallway and crash into the door, swinging it open as you step into the lavish, huge bathroom. You stop at the porcelain sink and look into the lit up mirror as you stare at your reflection.

You freeze when you see just how flushed you are. Your eyes are as wide as an owl’s and the veins in your neck are pulsing like crazy. Your lace panties are drenched, and you’re so turned on that you feel as if you’re about to explode. You need to cum, you need to stop the ache in between your thighs.

What the fuck is wrong with you? You don’t hook up with guys. This isn’t like you. But Joel… Joel is so devilishly handsome, so charming, a gentleman, a smooth talker. He practically got you off by just hovering over you and whispering dirty words into your ear. He was too much, this was too much. You should just go back home. But you want this. You want him.

You take one more long look at yourself in the mirror and sigh, hands digging into the sink as you give up completely. Fuck it. You want him, so you’ll have him.

When you open the door and leave the lit up bathroom, you about topple over as you hit something that feels like a thick brick wall. You look up and realize it’s Joel you crash into. You gawk at the way he leans up against the wall, clearly waiting for an answer from you.

“So, decide what you’re gonna do, angel?” he asks smoothly, his thick voice dripping like syrup all over you.

Fuck this. This man is a menace.

He takes a step forward and you take one back, a game of tag going on. But it’s not just any tag. No. He’s the hungry wolf, and he came to eat you alive.

“Not exactly…” you whisper, your voice caught in your throat.

He chuckles lightly as he takes another step forward and another, backing you up into the dark hallway that seems to go on for miles. “It’s simple, sweetheart. You can either leave or you can let me indulge you,” he purrs as he comes closer, chasing you like a game of cat and mouse.

“What if I don’t want to?” you ask out of breath, your voice getting choked up as you swallow down want and desire.

He clicks his tongue at you, coming in for the kill. “Now, now, sweetheart. Don’t be coy. I can smell the arousal already drippin’ from you. Can see how bad you want this with the way your eyes widen and lips part for me,” he says seductively, pupils blowing out as he takes a step forward and another one until he’s successfully backed you into the darkest corner of the hallway he can manage.

You knock into the cold black wall and gasp when he cages you in, letting his hands linger against your thighs as you feel the heat of his fingertips press into your hip bones. He leans over and presses his lips to the shell of your ear, whispering incantations into it as you fall into a dreamlike trance.

“Y’know, there’s more than one way to seduce a lady. I can teach you so many things, angel. Can make you cum in more ways than one, can make you feel things you’ve only dreamt about,” he whispers, letting one of his hands run up the side of your thigh, gradually lifting your dress as he teases you with his hot breath hitting your ear.

“Yeah?” you ask audibly, your own voice betraying you as you give in to his coaxing.

“Mmmm. Yeah, that’s right. Ya want it, angel? Want me to show you what I’m talkin’ about?” he asks as he blows gently in your ear, making slick pool in your center as a whine gets caught in your throat.

“Mhm,” you choke out while holding in a moan.

“Say it. Say it,” he purrs out, the soft lilt of his voice hitting the back of your spine as tingles start to pour down your body. “Pretty, pretty please. Need to hear you say it,” he whispers, his hot breath breathing down your neck like a sauna you want to jump head first into.

“Yes, yes. Want you to show me,” you plead, your voice needy with want.

“Gotta say please first,” he teases as he spreads your legs apart and places his leg in between yours, hiking his knee up to brush against your clothed folds. You whine at the action.

“Please, Joel. Pleaseeee,” you beg.

“Good girl,” he praises as he lifts the skirt of your dress, cupping his hand over your sex as you writhe in his grasp. He smirks at you and pushes the lace to the side, freeing your wet pussy as the cold air hits it, making you bite your lip in response.

He slides two calloused fingers through your wet folds, gliding down lower as he sinks them inside your dripping hole. You moan at the feeling.

“Christ. You’re so fuckin’ wet for me, angel,” he groans, hooking them up to that sweet spongy spot that makes you see stars. You choke on a moan as you clench around him.

“Ahh, there it is. There’s that sweet spot,” he purrs as he goes in knuckles deep into your wetness. He gently slides his digits out and drags his covered fingers up, up, up, as they find your clit and run slow, meticulous circles around your throbbing bundle of nerves.

“Fuck,” you moan out as you grab the front of his shirt and moan into his ear, digging your fingers into the cotton material as you hold on for dear life.

“That’s right, angel. Let me hear you, that’s a good girl,” he praises. He takes the two drenched fingers that were just inside you and pop them in his mouth, sucking off all the slick that covers his large digits. Your jaw drops at the sight.

“God, you taste so fuckin’ sweet,” he groans as he shifts his leg in between yours again, bending it just slightly as he cages you in again.

The room is hot, humid, loud, and you’re fully aware that anyone could walk down here and see you fully on display as Joel has his way with you. But you don’t care, don’t say anything about it. You just want him.

Him, him, him.

“Now, sweetheart. Gonna need you to do something for me. Call this lesson one on ways to get you off,” he instructs as he digs his hands into your hips and pulls you forward to where you’re level with his muscled thigh. “Want ya to ride me, angel,” he says, voice gravelly and hot in your ear.

“You want me to… ride you? How?” you ask with your brows knitted together.

“On my thigh, sweetheart. C’mon. Put that pretty pussy on my thigh. Want you to cover my jeans, baby. Don’t be shy, sweetheart,” he coaxes, dragging your hips forward until you’re resting your center on his clothed thigh.

“Oh,” you respond as he slowly grinds your hips into his jeans, showing you exactly what he wants you to do. He lets go and lets you set the pace, taking control as your clit drags against the rough material, catching on the most sensitive areas as you pull him closer and dig your nails into his shirt, stifling out a moan as you move up and down, up and down. Feeling the building pressure low in your stomach as you choke on another moan.

“There ya go, that’s a good girl. Ride me just like that, angel. Doin’ so good,” he praises as you feel just how turned on he’s getting. The bulge is tight around his zipper, and you can see just how big and thick he is underneath the dark denim.

Fuck. You want him, you want him so fucking bad but you’ll have to wait because right now you can’t focus on anything but your building orgasm. It’s so… it’s sooo. Oh.

You rub your aching clit against the curve of his large thigh, grinding into him as you hit that spot again and again as you rut down into him even more, gripping the edge of his shirt so tight that you swear you’re about to rip it off him.

“Joellll, it feels good,” you moan with ragged breaths as he leans down and licks the shell of your ear, whispering dirty thoughts as his hot breath runs down the base of your neck, making you sweat against his large form.

“Yeah? Just like that, angel. Bein’ such a fuckin’ good girl,” he praises with a low, gravelly voice as it consumes you whole, sending more slick down his jeans as you continuously ruin his denim.

You moan again at the praise. This is so hot, he’s so hot. And he’s so good with his words. He could sweet talk you all night long just like this if he wanted to.

“You like that, huh? Like bein’ told how good of a girl you’re bein’,” he smirks, dragging his lips over your jaw as you smell his woodsy, whiskey scent all over you. You want to taste it, drink it up till you’re drunk on him, suffocate on his intoxicating scent as it spirals you into a pit of warmth.

“Yes, yes,” you whine as he presses his thigh deeper into your center, feeling the wave of pleasure take over as you’re right there. So close, but not quite there. Almost, almost.

“C’mon, angel. Be a good girl and cum for me. Wanna see you coat my thigh with your sweet cum,” he growls, lowering his hands to your ass as he squeezes and presses your hips forward, rocking into his leg as you ride the pleasure out, feel that building release about to break.

He drops his plush lips against your neck and sucks just above your collarbone, right against the sensitive spot that drives you crazy as you moan against his lips on your skin. You feel the smirk grow on his lips as a low groan comes from his mouth as he bites down again, feeding your raw adrenaline that chases your pleasure.

The blaring music and chanting crowd disappears from the room, becoming muddled as you focus on what’s in front of you, the strong arms that grip you and clench you down to his thigh, the dark eyes that envelop you as you slide deeper and deeper into a dreamlike state. You can’t hear anything, can’t feel anything other than your ragged moans, Joel’s labored breathing, the feel of his denim against your throbbing bundle of nerves, the calloused fingers that tease the back of your thighs, the hot breath that blows down your neck as he crowds your space. It’s just you and Joel, nothing else matters. Nothing else but this. Whatever this may be.

You jar forward, catching your clit on a wrinkle as it tugs at you, screaming your name to let go. Let go, let go. You can feel the white hot heat take hold of you, feel it slowly sliding down your center as your insides flutter and clench around nothing. You’re about to cum, about to release your heat all over him. And he knows. He knows.

“Don’t be shy, angel. Let me have it. Cum for me,” he growls dominantly, wrapping his hands tight around your waist as he pushes you down deep against the denim covering his thighs, pressing your throbbing clit at just the right spot as you feel yourself let go.

You dig your fingers into the collar of his shirt and press your face against the crook of his neck as you cum hard, feeling the slick spill out of you as you tense up over his thigh, squeezing your fingers around him as you moan his name loudly into his ear, hearing your breath hitch as he hums in approval.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Say my name. Yeah, just like that. There ya go,” he praises as he rocks you gently against his thigh, making sure you get every ounce of cum out of your dripping pussy.

You take a minute to come back down to earth, back to where you don’t hear the ringing in your ears, where you don’t see the bright lights covering your vision anymore. He slowly lets his hands loosen around your waist, gently leaning you back against the wall as he slides you off his thigh, covering your soaked folds with your ruined panties as he sets them back in place against your center. You wince as his fingers brush up over your sensitive clit and let him pull your skirt back down over your thighs.

He takes a step back and brushes his fingers against the damp stain on his jeans, slowly bringing them up to his mouth as he sucks his thick digits into his mouth, lapping up your slick as he stares straight at you with blown out pupils, making you gawk at the sight.

“Taste so fuckin’ sweet, angel. Goddamn.” He curses again under his breath and drops them to his side as he sticks them deep in his pocket looking for something. Whatever he grabs, he covers it in the base of his palm, not letting you quite see what it is.

“Did you enjoy that… lesson?” he asks, cocking an eyebrow up as he stares at you with wild eyes, his tousled curls a mess as sweat beads at a few of the curls pressed against his forehead.

Lesson? Does this mean there would be more?

“Mhm,” you hum out, too fucked out to give a straight answer right now as you were still stuck on the fact that this man had just made you cum the hardest you ever had in your life. Not even your vibrator was a match for him. And he hadn't even put his mouth on you yet or put his cock in you. That was saying something.

He was dangerous, tempting, a bad habit you could get used to. He was trouble, a menace. But you didn’t care. You didn’t care. You wanted more, needed more from him. Just him.

It’s like he hears your thoughts, smirking up at you as he lifts your chin and brushes his calloused thumb against your bottom lip, his eyes trailing down to stare at them as if he was thinking of sinking his mouth down on you. You hold your breath, not ready for that yet. It was too soon, too intimate of a thing.

He drops his thumb from your lip and trails it against your jawline, dropping down a level so his eyes sink into yours.

Fuck, he’s hot.

“If you ever need anything and I mean anything, I’m just a phone call away.” He grabs your hand as he sticks a business card in your palm, closing your fingers over it as he brings your hand up to his mouth, brushing his lips against the back of your knuckles as you suck in a deep breath as his soft lips kiss your skin. It feels good. So good.

“Hope to see you soon, angel.” He drops your hand back to your side as he winks and smirks a devilish grin your way, turning back around as he makes his way back towards the rush of the crowd, entering the noise once more as you watch him disappear into a sea of people as his tousled curls get pulled into the bodies, leaving you standing in shock in the dark alone.

You uncurl your fingers and run them along the edge of the glossy white business card. You turn it over and read it once, twice, three times as your eyes widen. You read it once more to make sure your eyes don’t deceive you, but you only see the same thing sprawled across the card each time. It reads Joel Miller: Owner of Club Inferno. His number sits above the words, leaving you breathless as you realize just who you were talking to earlier. Who you were complaining to earlier.

Holy shit. Joel was the club owner?!

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. You were in trouble. You were in so much fucking trouble. How would you show your face here again? You wouldn’t. Unless…. unless you decided to come back for more. And you wanted more with him.

You take a deep breath and lean against the cold wall, trying to get ahold of yourself as you rethink everything that had happened tonight. The drinks, the conversations, the flirting, the fucking part where he made you cum while he pressed you against his strong, muscular body.

As you close your eyes for a second and swallow down your orgasmic high from minutes ago, you slowly open them back up and come to terms with yourself. You can’t see yourself not coming back here and not letting him give you another lesson…

You need it, need him. You’d never had a man make you feel so bold, so sexy before in your life. And the way he was all about what felt good to you? Well it was… exhilarating. You wanted more, craved more. So you knew right then, you had to come back. For one more thrill, one more touch, one more orgasm. You’d come back… for him.

Joel Miller was going to be the fucking bane of your existence, you just knew it.

[lemonsprite]

Hello can I ask for BG3 Halsin x reader?

Usually people depict the reader as ageless but I was wondering if you can do anything with a reader that's also up in their 300s? They could probably relate on many thing that come with a long lifespan and stuff

Thanks and have a nice day (I know this is like probably brainless time from me but the summer heat is getting me my brain left me)

Thank you guys for all the Halsin ideas I luv my bear husband TT

𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 || 𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐆𝐍! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Summary: Halsin can’t remember the last time he’s met someone like you

Word Count:

Warnings: NOT BETA READ!!! nothing!! Just pure silliness

A/N: I had SUCH bad writers block with this one so I apologize if it’s actual doodoo TT but I love writing the bg3 party dynamic sm ugh

Halsin was used to being a pile of dust when compared to all his friends and companions. Despite only being in the middle stages of his life for an elf, he’d lived much longer than those around him.

Part of that knowledge made his heart ache in a weird bittersweet mixture of emotions. Living as long as he did caused him to see the rise of fall of friends and lovers and there was nothing he could do about it. It seemed like a cycle he was doomed too, one that would unfold the same as always.

Halsin knew almost no elves the same absurdly old age as him.

“Karlach I don’t think the camp really needs another cantaloue… we haven’t even finished the other two Wyll bought three days ago…” chided Halsin, placing a hand on top of Karlach’s and slowly guiding the round fruit in her hands back into the market stall.

“Yeah but mate, what’s gonna happen when shadowheart gets her midnight cravings and eats both cantaloupes in one night?” Pouted Karlach, gripping tightly to the fruit. “What will I eat then…? If you think about it… this purchase is just a tactical strategy…”

Halsin gave her a look, one he was all too familiar with when dealing with those much younger and less wise than him.

Karlach sighed and dropped the cantaloupe, making her way to another stall that sold hand made yarn woven weapon sheaths. (Not the best in terms of practicality but very aesthetically pleasing)

“Do you have this in a size Large?” Asked a voice and before Halsin could catch himself, he found his gaze landing on the stranger beside him. Also an elf from what he could tell with their pointed ears.

“The smithy by the Rivington general store sells the same armour for a cheaper price.” Suggested Halsin, moving slightly closer to the new bystander.

“I could…” he coughed, clearing his throat. “Show you the way if you need?”

Halsin had no idea what he was doing. One second, the elf was scolding Karlach and the next he was flirting with a complete stranger. Something in your eyes, the way you held yourself made him want to know you better, hear you speak his name.

“That would be nice…” you smiled, politely putting the not purchased armour back on the market stand and turning to Halsin.

A large crash resounded behind Halsin and he whipped around to find Karlach standing above a pile of shattered porcelain. Like a large dog unaware of how big she was.

“Hey you gotta pay for that!” Angrily shouted the storekeeper as he looked incredulously from Karlach to the shattered pottery.

“That one yours?” You asked, nodding your head in the direction of the destructive tiefling.

Halsin nodded, watching as Karlach tearfully handed over the little money she had.

“I’ve got nine of them back at camp.” He said wistfully, thinking back to the ruckus and chaos of camp.

“I’ve been on my own for awhile now…” you hummed, walking with Halsin as he began to lead you to the nearby smithy, Karlach jogging to reach up with the two of you.

“I’m Halsin.” He smiled. “And this is my friend Karlach.”

“Oh I know you! I spent a century with the emerald enclave, they spoke very highly of you.” You grinned, stuffing your hands in the pockets of your tunic as you walked.

Karlach smiled brightly, nodding her head eagerly. “You should see when he wildshapes! The bear is quite cute.”

“You were apart of the emerald enclave?” Halsin asked, pleasantly bemused as the city surroundings grew less and less frequent and more bursting countryside surrounded him.

“Not apart.” You explained, giving Halsin a sheepish smile. “Just lived with them a good while, even during that big battle with Ketheric Thorm back in the day, helped as much as I could.”

“I can’t remember the last time I’d met an elf who can recall such a time.” Halsin smiled gently. “Say… would you like to join us for dinner at our camp?”

Karlach gave Halsin a knowing smirk.

“That sounds amazing.” You grinned. “I’d love too.”

Despite the scene of utter chaos unfolding around him, Halsin couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes from your thoughtful gaze.

Shadowheart and Lae’zel were currently arm wrestling for dominance while Gale fought back Astarion, telling him dinner wasn’t quite ready yet.

Halsin had brought you to a quite hill nearby, overlooking all the drama as you two had a quite chat.

“Can’t remember the last time I had a dinner like this.” You quipped, causing the grass to rustle as you leaned back.

“Would you… want to stay…?” Halsin asked shyly, weirdly awkward for a man of his calibre. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time, his usual confident and wise facade slowly melting. You made him feel like a dumb kid again, and he couldn’t get enough of it.

“It would be nice to have someone older with a little more wisdom join the party… I don’t think me and Jaeheria can last another day…” he added with a soft laugh, joining you in the grass.

“Jaeheria’s here?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. “I haven’t seen her in two hundred years.”

“You should stay.” He urged. “I also… just really want to know you better.”

Halsin gently placed his hand on top of yours in the grass, giving you enough time to pull away if you need.

“Yeah… yeah I’d like that.” You smiled, running your thumb over his knuckles and lifting your face to meet his rich hazel gaze.

[itgetsdark-x]

Hello! Since your request are open. Would you like to write some filthy Joel (boyfriends dad) x reader smut?

A/N: the thought of having Joel Miller as your boyfriend’s dad actually has me barking at walls?? Like???? Any guy wouldn’t stand a chance if his dad was the Joel Miller, like jesus. Anyway, I hope you like it anon!

Summary: After your boyfriend pushes your patience for the last time, his dad, Joel is there to help you feel better and truly show you what it’s like to be with a man.

Characters: BFD!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: 18+, minors dni! Actually just 4.6k words of smut, age gap, unprotected sex (do better!), oral (f receiving), cheating (technically)

You wanted to scream in pure annoyance, actually scrap that, screaming didn’t feel like it would be enough, you maybe wanted to smother your boyfriends drunken face with a pillow. You sighed deeply as you fumbled with the lock on his front door, he was draped over your shoulders and you gently jabbed him with your elbow to stand straighter so you could fight with the lock. 

“‘M gonna show you the best night of your life!” He slurred, a stupid smirk on his face. 

“Jack, with all due respect… shut the hell up. I meant what I said earlier, I’m pissed off. I’m dropping you home, getting you into bed and I’m leaving. We will talk when you’re sober.” You huffed, feeling triumphant when the lock suddenly clicked. 

You held the door open for him and gently pushed him to edge him inside the house. You dropped your handbag by the front door and held Jack’s arm to direct him to the stairs. 

You had been with your boyfriend, Jack Miller, for around two years; for the most part, he was a good guy, he was fairly kind and somewhere in you, you did love him but recently everything felt like it had shifted and tonight just felt like the final nail in the coffin. 

You had gone to a bar in town to meet up with both of your friends to celebrate your birthday, Jack promised he would only have one drink so you could relax and unwind but he got so stupidly drunk that he was barely standing. After a few shots, he then proceeded to hit on the bartender, right in front of you and then give an extremely detailed story of your sex life to his friends. He had ignited such an anger in you tonight that you weren’t sure you could ever put it out. 

“Jack?” You heard a familiar voice call from the kitchen as you were halfway up the stairs. 

You sat Jack down on a step and turned on yourself to look down the stairs, there he was stood, maybe the reason why Jack just didn’t seem to satisfy you anymore. You knew it was wrong, hell, the fantasises you had made you feel so dirty that sometimes you would shower in the hopes of washing away all of your filthy thoughts. Of course, it never worked and often, as you stood there in the shower, watching the water circle the drain you would find your fingers already travelling south to bury deep within yourself to your thoughts of this man. 

Joel Miller, Jack’s father. He was a handsome man, in his late-forties, he was a single father and the star in all of your recent fantasies. You couldn’t pinpoint when it started but from the first day you met him and shook his hands, the sparks shocked you through your body. There was something about his features, his eyes that made you feel like you had known him before. Jack’s mother had passed away when he was little and since then, it had been the two of them. Joel couldn’t have been sweeter to you, he was always inviting you round for dinner with them both, even when Jack didn’t think to do so and in general, he was the perfect example of a gentleman. You wondered where it had gone so wrong for Jack, he was the opposite. 

“Oh, h-hi Mr. Miller, sorry we are back so late. Um, Jack had a little too much to drink tonight so I’m just gonna go get him into bed and be out of your hair.” You mumbled. 

“Dad,” Jack hiccuped. “Look at her, gonna give her the best night of her life. Gonna have her screaming my name.” Jack laughed, swaying on the stair as he brought his hand up to slap your bare ass under you skirt. 

You yelped and batted his hand away, your cheeks burning a deep crimson with pure rage and embarrassment.

“Jack,” you warned. “I’m not gonna tell you again.”

Joel stood at the bottom of the stairs, he had folded his arms and his fists seemed to balled up into a tight clench. He had a deep frown settled into his brow and he shook his head. 

“Jack, that is not how us Miller men treat a lady, I’ve told you before. I’m so sorry darlin’ for the lack of my son’s manners, I promise I tried to raise him better.” Joel sighed. “Why don’t you go down to the kitchen and make yourself a drink, I’ll put Jack to bed and be down in a moment.”

“Oh, uh, I didn’t want to intrude, I was just gonna head home. Get out of your way, and all that.” You said softly, checking once more that Jack wouldn’t lean forward and slip down the stairs.

“Non-sense. It’s too damn late for that, you can stay. I’ll make up the sofa for you, if you don’t wanna stay in his room. Which, I would totally understand.” Joel laughed softly. 

“Okay, well, um, that’ll be lovely then. Thank you, Mr. Miller.”

“Darlin’ what have I told you? It’s Joel.” He smiled and squeezed your arm gently as you walked past him to head to the kitchen. 

You heard Jack mumbling something to his father as he was led upstairs but you couldn’t quite make it out, instead, you walked into the kitchen in a daze. Your fingers tracing where Joel’s hand had just been. It felt like a million tiny pinpricks erupted over your skin where he just touched you. It made you feel hot and pathetically, you felt yourself get slick. 

You grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filled it with water and sat yourself down at the kitchen island. You sipped your drink and looked around the familiar space, suddenly, you felt nervous. Maybe you should just run out the door and go home, you never really spent anytime with Joel as you tried to avoid it. It was out of fear that you would say or do something you would soon regret and partly out of knowing you seemed to turn into a babbling moron whenever the older man was near. 

As you sat there, your mind was suddenly filled with thoughts of the older Miller man and you couldn’t help but smile as you remembered the moment vividly. You were staying over, about six months into your relationship, it was late and you got up to use the bathroom; Joel was in his room, his door was ajar and there he was, spread out on his bed with his hard cock in his hand and his body illuminated by the blue light of his laptop screen. You tried to pull yourself away from the spot on the landing as you watched him in awe but you couldn’t, you weren’t sure how long you had been stood then until Joel’s groan pulled you out of your trance, as you went to walk away, he looked up and you were sure your eyes locked for a split second before you dashed back to your boyfriend’s room. You climbed back into bed, and shamefully, awoke your boyfriend to have sex. That had been the first time you properly orgasmed with Jack, to thoughts of his dad. You were embarrassed to admit it but that night, you moaned just a little louder in the hope Joel would hear it and know they were for him. It was never spoken about between the two of you, for which, you were thankful for. 

As your mind wandered, you absently rubbed your thighs together, relishing in the slight friction with each pass of your legs. 

“You okay, darlin’?” Joel asked softly, looking at you with a raised brow. “You look a little… flushed.”

You near jumped out of your skin, his voice sent a small shudder down your body and you sipped your water to calm yourself down. 

“Oh, sorry. I, um, guess I’m a little stressed. It’s all.” You mumbled. 

“I thought you were going to get yourself a drink?” Joel asked, rummaging through his liquor in his cupboard. 

“I did, I got a water.” You frowned. 

“Don’t be so silly, it’s your birthday weekend. Let me get you a proper drink; vodka, lemon and lime, right?” He asked, grabbing his bottle of fancy vodka and getting a fresh glass out of the cupboard. 

You held back a grin as Joel rattled off your drink of choice, you nodded at him and admired the way his arms flexed with each movement. He made you both the same drink and slid one across the kitchen island to you. You took a sip and sighed contentedly, almost as if the stress of the evening’s antics was being washed away with every sip of alcohol. 

“Thanks, Mr. Miller, I really appreciate it.” You said softly, leaning back into your seat with a soft sigh. 

“Darlin’ please, call me Joel. You’ve known me long enough, it’s Joel.” 

“Just feels impolite but thanks, Joel. I’ll be out of your hair tomorrow morning, maybe for good.” You mumbled looking into your glass and stirring the clear liquid with your straw. 

“For good?” Joel asked concernedly, he leant on the kitchen counter, his biceps flexing as he leant on them. 

“Y-yeah. I think I need to end things with Jack, god he’s such an ass!” You huffed before realising who you were speaking to. “God, sorry, Joel, I know he’s your son. I’m a mess!” You whispered, tears pricking your eyes. 

“Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry. Please don’t apologise.” He spoke softly, he was soon by your side and he stroked your back softly. “Jack is a moron, he should realise how lucky he is.”

You cried weakly, a few lone tears rolled down your cheeks as you focused on Joel’s large palm stroking your back. The next few seconds were a blur, you barely registered what you were doing but your lips had locked with Joel’s and you were kissing him roughly. Joel immediately held your face and deepened the kiss, he groaned as your tongue swiped over his bottom lip to enter his mouth. 

You turned your body in your seat so you were facing Joel and you couldn’t help but moan softly as his large hands found their way into your hair. You broke the kiss and breathed deeply, you splayed your hands over Joel’s hard chest and gasped in deep breaths. 

“Fuck, Joel. Fuck. I should go, I’ll speak with Jack in the morning. I’m sorry.” You rambled, pushing Joel gently so you could stand to leave. You wiped your face as you began to walk out of the kitchen, Joel grasped your wrist tightly and gently pulled you back to stop you from spiralling out. 

“Darlin’, wait a second.” He whispered. “Don’t rush off… c’mhere.”

You stopped walking and looked up at Joel with your wet eyes, you were panicked and your chest was heaving with panic.  

“I’ve wanted you, well, forever and ever since that night you caught me, well y’know. I heard your pretty little mouth that night, heard those moans and I knew they were for me.” He whispered, he was bringing his head closer to you and his lips ghosted over your parted lips. 

You sucked in a sharp breath, your cheeks were glowing with embarrassment and you opened your mouth to argue with him but Joel silenced you with a bruising kiss. His fingers held the back of your head as he controlled the kiss, you whimpered softly as your allowed yourself to be kissed by the older man, just like in your fantasies. 

Joel’s free hand groped at your breast, his fingers kneaded at the soft mound through your shirt and your mouth opened with a soft noise. 

“Joel,” You whimpered. “Maybe, maybe we shouldn’t. I should probably go.”

“I want you.” Joel said definitively. “I’ve wanted you since the first day I saw you; you were wearing that real pretty little summer dress and it drove me mad, stroked myself so hard to thoughts of you for so long.” He whispered, his hand still drinking in each dip and curve of your clothes body. “Feel.”

Joel took your hand and pressed it to the front of his jeans, you could feel how hard his cock was in his pants; he was thicker than Jack and longer too. You were feeling ashamed to admit it to yourself but you were wetter than you had been in a long time. 

“Driving me fuckin’ mad. Feel what you do to me.” He groaned as your hand squeezed his shaft. 

“You’re so big.” You whined. “I want to feel you.”

Joel didn’t hesitate for another second, he took your shirt and roughly tugged it over your head before he followed suit with your skirt. There you were, stood in your boyfriend’s kitchen and nearly naked for his father. You couldn’t help but feel vulnerable as Joel gently twirled you around so he could drink in your whole body. 

“You’ve been wasted for all this time, should be treated right. How about you get upstairs and I’ll show you how good a real man can fuck you.” Joel’s voice was barely above a whisper and it sent shivers right to your core. 

You gently crossed your legs, trying to stave off the throbbing of your arousal and you nodded weakly, you couldn’t quite believe this was happening. You knew it was wrong but you couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore. Joel took your hand gently and lead you upstairs, you passed by your boyfriend’s room, the door was closed and you could hear his loud snores. Just hearing him sleep so peacefully whilst he knew you were upset enraged you but you pushed those sour thoughts aside as Joel pushed you into his room and he locked the door behind you both. 

“Take those pretty panties and bra off for me, darlin’ and lay down on the bed, show me your pretty little cunt.” Joel growled, keeping his voice hushed. 

You bit gently on your bottom lip and did as you were instructed, you undid your bra; your breasts fell from the material with a soft bounce and Joel watched you hungrily, he was palming himself through his jeans. You blushed under his hungry gaze and turned away from him to pull your panties off, you bent yourself over to give him a small show as the lacy material slipped over your ass. You bent down to pick the panties off the floor, letting Joel catch a long look at your wet cunt; he could see how wet you were, your lips were slick and begging to be filled. 

You smirked as Joel watched you, speechless, you turned back around and sauntered over to him, slipping the damp panties into his front pocket. 

“Something to remember me by.” You giggled before taking Joel’s shirt and pulling it over his head. 

You threw the old material of Joel’s t-shirt to the floor and immediately your hands were on the vast expanse of his tanned skin, your fingers gently raked through the sparse hair on his chest and you couldn’t hold back the small whine that slipped from your lips. He was so manly, so rugged and such a stark contrast to any of the guys you had been with before. 

“On the bed,” Joel instructed, flicking his head in the direction of his bed. “I wanna taste you.”

Your knees nearly buckled at his words and you weakly carried yourself to his bed; you laid down for him and eagerly spread your legs. Your arousal had coated your upper thighs and it had Joel nearly going feral at the sight. He quickly positioned himself on the bed, laid down on his front so his face was close to your sopping core. His fingers quickly went through your folds, collecting your apparent arousal on them. 

“This wet, all for me, hm?” He asked, kissing his soft lips up your thighs, travelling higher but not quite landing where you wanted them the most. 

You bit onto your lip to stop you from making a noise and you nodded eagerly at him; you leant up on your elbows so you could peer down at the male between your thighs. 

“Look at how pretty you are, darlin’. All spread out and wet for me, you needed this, didn’t you?” He asked softly as he pushed two digits into your pussy. 

“Yes!” You gasped out loudly, your hips bucked upwards as you looked at the male; his fingers alone were making you feel heady and weak already.

Joel started a quick rhythm, his fingers pulling out and disappearing just as fast into your greedy heat. He quickly dipped his head lower and timed it perfectly, just as his fingers pulled out, he flicked his tongue over your clit roughly and pushed his fingers back into you, curling them upwards. 

You were seeing stars, your body felt as if it was floating on a cloud and you never, in your wildest dreams imagined that you would be feeling this way at the hands of your boyfriend’s dad. 

“Fuck!” You cursed, your voice a little too loud. “If you don’t stop, I-I’m gonna cum already.” You whimpered.

Joel let out a breathy laugh against your clit, his hot breath fanning over your wetness and he just smirked before he suctioned his lips around the swollen bud and suckled gently at it. Joel sped his fingers up, he could feel you fluttering around his digits and it drove him mad, he couldn’t help but thrust at the mattress below him, just hoping to help his leaking cock feel a fraction of relief. You noticed his hips thrusting against the soft mattress and that, mixed with Joel’s skilled tongue and fingers; it had you cumming, hard. The fact he was so turned on from just eating you out made you feel crazy, Jack was never forthcoming with pleasuring you like that, and here was his dad, eagerly eating you out like he was dying from starvation. 

You whimpered through your orgasm as Joel’s tongue flicked at your clit before lapping at it eagerly, he pulled his fingers out and sucked on them, groaning at the taste of you. 

“God, you taste as good as you look. Come here, come taste.” Joel whispered, travelling back up the bed to be positioned next to you. 

He gently pressed his fingers into your mouth which you eagerly opened and sucked the digits in. You moaned around them as your tongue cleaned them expertly. 

“You see how good you taste?” Joel whispered, watching as you sucked his fingers and you nodded in response.

He pulled his fingers out from your mouth with an obscene popping noise and leant forward to kiss you deeply, his tongue was invading your mouth within seconds and you moaned; you could taste the tang of your arousal in his mouth. 

“Joel, please fuck me already.”

Joel laughed softly. “How do you wanna take me, sweet girl?” 

“However you want me, please. I just wanna please you.” You admitted submissively. 

“Gonna kill me off. On your hands and knees for me then.” He smirked. 

You were more than willing to get into that position for Joel, but you needed to see him first. You needed to feel his heavy cock in your hands before he fucked you senseless. You quickly worked on the fastening of his jeans, tugging them down roughly to reveal his tented boxers. Joel shimmied out of his jeans, albeit awkwardly as he allowed you to undress him. You pulled his boxers down, finally to let his hard cock spring up. 

You eagerly wrapped your hand around his shaft, your hand felt so small in comparison and you gave him a few testing strokes, your thumb swiping over the swollen head to collect his precum. Joel groaned beside you, he watched your hand stroke him and he gently thrust into your small fist. 

“I want you to fuck my throat, please, Mr. Miller.” You whispered, stroking him faster at the thought. 

“Jesus,” Joel groaned, screwing his eyes shut to anchor himself. “Can’t talk like that and call me that, you’ll have me cumming in an embarrassingly quick time.” He chuckled. 

You giggled, feeling giddy at his admission and you sped your hand up; his precum making your movements slick. 

“Please Mr. Miller.” You whined, your mouth watering at the thought of his heavy cock stuffing into your throat. 

“Not tonight, darlin’. I’ve been waiting far too long to have you, I don’t think I’d be able to cope.” He groaned. 

You rolled your eyes and released his cock from your hand to roll over; you got onto your knees and let the flat area of your triceps hold you up on the bed, you arched your back and allowed your ass to wiggle upwards for Joel. 

“Atta girl, didn’t have to ask you twice.” Joel cooed. 

You smiled, his praise making you feel eager to please him further, just anything to be good for him. Joel was quick to position himself behind you, he held the base of his hard cock and pressed himself to you, he passed his cock through your wet folds before he roughy thrust into you. His hands held your hips roughly and you gasped, your head lulling forward with the rough movement.

Joel groaned as he bottomed out inside of you, his hips were flush to your ass and he sensually rolled them to feel himself go deeper in you. You could feel yourself stretching around Joel’s thick length, he was the biggest you’d had and your fingers clawed at the sheets below you. You couldn’t help but moan as he pulled out and thrust forward once again, he was already building up a punishing pace, one that you knew would make you feel sore tomorrow. 

Joel was groaning behind you as he watched your tight hole greedily suck him back in as he thrust into you. You were everything he had wanted for months and the fact you were there, bent over for him and so willing had him going insane. His fingers dug into your skin roughly as he fucked you, his hips were snapping quickly but he still had a sensual rhythm going. 

“Feels so good.” He huffed, sounding a little breathless. “You. Feel, so good.” 

You were all but biting at the sheets below you, you were trying to keep yourself as quiet as you could be from the fear of Jack hearing you but Joel was making it difficult. You arched your back further and it had Joel hitting that glorious bundle of nerves within your sponges walls. 

“Mr. Miller,” you whimpered. “I’m close. I’m gonna cum.”

Joel pulled out of your abruptly, he held both of your hips tightly and he flipped your body on the mattress; it momentarily winded you, more out of shock than anything. You didn’t realise he was so strong but there you were suddenly, flipped onto your back. Joel held onto one of your hips again as he thrust into you. 

“I wanna watch your pretty face as you cum on my cock. I wanna see how crazy it drives you.” He groaned and he dipped his thumb down to expertly circle your clit. 

You clawed at the skin of his chest and you threw your head back with a loud moan, all inhibitions finally being freed. Your eyes fluttered shut in pleasure and Joel smirked as he watched your face contort and your back arched off the bed, he pressed a little rougher with his thumb and slowed his hips to a sensual roll so he could pleasure you more. The tip of his cock nudged into you just right and you were soon tumbling into the most intense orgasm you had ever experienced. 

“That’s right, babydoll. Cum for me, but open those eyes of yours, need you to look at me as you cum. Need to watch you. Look at me.” Joel cooed, speeding his thumb up. “Cum for me. This is what it’s liked to be fucked properly, tell me how good my cock feels in you. Dirty little girl.”

You opened your mouth to reply but all that came tumbling from your lips were pathetic moans as you were fucked through your orgasm. Your eyes fluttered as you stared up at Joel, you used all your might to keep them open as you clenched around Joel, trying to draw his cock in deeper. 

“S-so good.” You managed to squeak out. “Feels so fucking good, never been fucked so good before in my life. Need more.” You whined. 

“Fuck,” Joel cursed, his hips stuttering with his final thrusts. “‘M Gonna fill you up, gonna fuck my hot cum into your greedy little hole. You want it?”

You nodded at him and your eyes closed once again as the first spurts of Joel’s hot cum coated your inner walls. You whimpered at the feeling, relishing in the male’s release as he fucked himself through his orgasm. 

Joel rolled off of you with a groan, your chests were heaving with shallow breathes and your skin was coated with a light sheen of sweat from the effort. You made a small noise of discomfort as you stood. 

“I’ll be right back.” You said quietly and quickly left the room to use the bathroom. 

You cleaned yourself up and returned back to Joel’s room, he was sprawled out on top of his sheets, still naked as he breathed softly with his eyes closed. He looked so peaceful, so handsome and you truly just wanted to curl up against his chest and sleep.

“I uh, I should get dressed and leave. Um. Thank you for tonight.” You mumbled and rummaged around in the dark to find your bra that had been strewn on the floor. 

“Wait… you said you need to speak to Jack tomorrow and well, it’s already early hours of the morning. Just stay. Please, I don’t wanna have to worry about you driving home this late.” Joel mumbled. 

“I don’t know, Joel… it’s a bad idea, I feel it.” You replied quietly. 

“Just quit your arguin’ and get into bed.” He said, rolling his eyes; even in the darkness you could see him doing it. 

“Fine, god! You’re so bossy.” 

You obliged and found yourself curling up in Joel’s bed, you knew in the back of your mind it would probably cause trouble for you but you couldn’t quite care enough to stop it from happening. Joel got into bed with you, he wrapped his large arm around your waist and pulled you close to him. Sleep soon took you both.

When morning finally broke, sunlight drowned the room through the open blinds, the sheets were tangled between you both exposing your bodies and you yawned as you stretched in Joel’s arms. You rolled over to get comfy again before a familiar voice called out into the room. 

“Dad?!” Jack was stood there in the doorway, mouth agape and all colour drained from his face. “What the fuck?!”

“We can explain.” You yelped, taking the sheets to cover your bodies quickly. 

Joel sleepily sat up, rubbing remnants of sleep from his deep brown eyes and he squinted as his sight adjusted to the morning’s light. 

If you weren’t screwed the night before, you most definitely screwed now. 

————————————————————————

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[storgicdealer]

ahem. cracks knuckles.

you know what time it is boy

highlights of attacking the innocent (also balling): general analysis of influencer arc episode 1

(so. the green onceler arc might be actually real)

THIS EPISODE WAS SO SICK. the animation????the music??????? the 3D CYBERSPACE??????????? MWAH chefs kiss . and the most interesting new thing: new character to play dolls with (thank you everyone who put their 5 cents in and shared a braincell: calling him greenscreen)

and. god.

the 3d insides of the computer box and programs... GOD !!!!!! GOD !!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR BABY!!!!!!!!

i NEED to find out the dimensions of it.

the way the ab team decided to expand on the 3d perspective just like this is. oh my lird

personally this means SO MUCH for me as the #1 lover of the "internet is walkable" trope. one of the main reasons why i adore avam so much

more points on that: the icons dont seem to.. "gain shape" until they're interacted with: in this case picked up by the cg. another point: sticks need to apply force to an icon to open an app . swag

additional note: the episode itself seems to begin in sticksfight?? or just a random table that was drawn

additional note electric boogaloo: green seemed to hit the CEILING when performing his ballin movement. is the gui of the computer really not that high?? and.

where are the doors. where are. where is the backstage that the sticks constantly come out of. hello

the way they interact with adobe premiere is SO SO interesting. the whole process of videomaking in the universe is something im gonna be thinking of for a GOOD while

(small note: i know sticks own hammerspace and can basically bring out anything but. is the red cape the red fabric green used in the matador short?

now, onto our new character

greenscreen seemed to appear out of the adobe video being overloaded? with effects n unnecessary sfx and clipping masks and such, causing it to glitch. in fact, adobe itself warned to proceed with caution the second the cg put too much stuff into it.

honestly, we can always put this monent into the "something glitchy-fucked happens and there are consequences" category, with the consequences just happening to be a new guy (thank you so much whoever did that). but worldbuilding wise, how exactly did it manifest? did the excessive amount of effects and glitches.. shape a creature into existence? with it taking the appearance of green as the main character that appeared in the video the most. sort of like a puzzle to create a being?

what's interesting, the screen focuses on the cg throwing the video away before the sequence with it gaining sentience by taking the form of green starts.

now, the main thing about the fight scene to me is how greenscreen took all of his movements/actions from the video itself,

and how many people have already pointed out, is that..

he doesn't seem to have wanted to attack in the first place.

screen, from the beginning of his existence only possessed powers/moves that green & cg themselves have shown in the video. and of course, the main point of the video itself was fighting a monster — obviously filling up the video, the whole essence of the character, with mostly that. his whole being was shaped up that way.

screen might've tried acting friendly, or neutral at least — but the whole way the video, a fighting video, was jumbled with glitches kind of.. forced him not to exhibit any other behaviour. perhaps, if not for these glitches, he could've controlled his own actions — he would still know the most of the world from the video, but at least, if he wanted to fight — he could control it. and do it himself, if he wanted.

(additional note: greenscreen seems to glitch everytime he's hit, also.)

the time he does attack, himself — is when he is cornered, and has been shown nothing but violence from others.

woah that pal has some seeerious issues to get under control ! anyways, onto other highlights of the video! (/silly)

the new video did a WONDERFUL job at showcasing the cg's fighting style in a new, clear manner. the gang regained the weapons they have wielded in the first part of "wanted", but in another form.

orange, equipped with the classic brush tool, seems to be mostly focused on defense. (regaining the previous defense styles based on the last parts of wanted & avm s3!)

red seems to focus on melee and hand-to-hand fighting,

blue, classic: fighting at a distance with the bow.

yellow seems to also fight at a certain distance, but it is only a hand's reach: enough to hit, enough to not get hit. (this also heavily reminds me of yellow's behavior with the staff, where in fight she has mostly hung out in the middle: aiming and attacking from a certain distance.)

i'm not particularly sure what category to put green in, also taking in his usage of the rod in avms3 and a .. gun. in the beginning of wanted. but his moves are the most agile and sharp (literally) out of the crew.

a bit of the video i am . Really interested in

finding out about his adobe-abilities, screen consumed other bits of the program to use it for attacking. including posterizing time, which is not only a quite strong ability in on itself, but!

..also seemed to affect other sticks, while he, himself — was unaffected by time.

the move seems to be incredibly powerful??? like. if it was that easy for a glitched video to consume parts of adobe, use it for his own powers, to a point of manipulating time???

damn. the cg basically created an adobe demigod????????

another supposition i have onto why it worked on sticks: the cg were drawn themselves, and drawn in adobe flash, therefore being interacted with as symbols whether they were affected because of just being drawn beings themselves, or because of some kind of influence all adobe programs might have on each other — their creation itself is probably the reason for this. (once again. they created a killer machine and provoked it itself!!!!!! damn pick a struggle!!!!!/j)

the episode finishes off amazingly in my opinion by the cg recreating and using the basketball movements they learned when filming their first video. they Slamdunked a stick. good lord

anyways. FEEL FREE TO ADD ON TO THIS POST WHATEVER YOU WANT !!! i appreciate all notes !!!! :D

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | April 15th-21st 2024

Warning you now that there won't be a recap next week because I'm gonna be on a birthday trip! (hello don't mind me I'm turning 30 this week 🙈). ((now that I think about it I could always post the recap on saturday. oh well. we'll see 😆))

Enjoy!

Complete

i'll fit you inside my future by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (S7E5, BuckTommy | <1K | General): "Why'd you choose that abomination of a coffee for me?" And Buck groans just to hear Tommy laugh. "Really? What even was that?" "Black coffee four sugars," Buck mumbles, kicking a stone across the sidewalk sheepishly. "Jesus, Evan." Tommy's laugh is something special, loud and unrestrained and the sound of sunshine maybe. "Why?"

wild again, beguiled again by Maira/ @mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips (Post-S7E4, BuckTommy | 1K | General): The kiss had taken him out at the knees, a rush of lips and heat and just the barest hint of teeth, the graze of stubble not his own thrilling him in a way like nothing had before. Which was ridiculous, because the kiss hadn’t even been that long. He’d had longer kisses, hotter kisses. Kisses where Buck had very nearly forgotten his own name by the time they’d ended. And yet, this one kiss still had him smiling like a fool. ... or, the one after the kiss.

I gotta get that feeling by elless (Post-S7E5 | 1K | General): Buck watches his mouth as he speaks and the way his adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, and reminds himself to pay attention, because all of this is important. He wants to know everything. OR: what happens at the cafe after Buck's an eager beaver and asks Tommy to be his date at the madney wedding.

The New Normal by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Buck/Tommy/Eddie | 1,7K | General): While he had had a few drinks at the bar, Eddie hadn’t even been tipsy when Buck had blurted out those words: I think I’ve been dating both of you. That statement had settled in the middle of Eddie’s chest and burrowed into its new home, feeling so incredibly right in a way he’d never experienced before. (Part 3 of Buck's Boyfriends)

a good ally by thewolvesof1998/ @thewolvesof1998 (BuckTommy, PWP | 2K | Explicit): Tommy figures out Buck's humiliation kink by accident during sex and they explore it a bit.

everything’s growing in our garden by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S7E5, Pre-Buddie | 2K | Teen): eddie’s growing a garden. buck might be the most firmly planted thing in it.

every part of you (simple as that) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (BuckTommy, Madney Wedding | 2,8K | General): OR: buck comes out to chris, talks to tommy about the future, has realisations about the past and finds a little peace at the wedding

Lactose Intolerance by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Drunken Confessions | 4K | Teen): After last night's tequila shots at the karaoke bar, Buck had just gone home and rolled into his too-big, too-comfortable, too-empty bed in his too-quiet loft, and he’d— Texted Eddie. He thinks. The memory is kind of vague.

Tell Me Anything by AnnaNSmith/ @annansmith (Near Death Experience, Love Confession | 5K | Teen): Or, how Buck shattered Eddie's entire world one night by confessing his love to him.

we don't know where this is going now (don't be afraid of heights, let me open your heart wide) by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Post-S7E5, Tommy POV | 5K | General): Tommy cuts their first date short, but to his surprise he gets a call from Evan just a few days later.

Despite it all, I'm Happy by InsaneJuliann/ @marvelingjules (Established Buddie, Post-S4, Secret Relationship | 6K | Teen): Something's up with Buck, but he's not telling. No one else even seems to notice all the faked smiles and laughter, not like Eddie does. But he's afraid of pushing too hard. He's happier, lately. Chris, his family, the team - and especially Buck - make him happier than he's been in a long time. Eddie doesn't want to put that all at risk. Not now, while it still feels so new. (Part 12 of The Evolution of Buddie)

Be Yours if You'd be Mine by InsaneJuliann/ @marvelingjules (Established Buddie, Post-S4 | 5K | Mature): Things with Buck are good. Sure, Eddie's pretty sure that some days Buck is still hiding something from him, and sure, their relationship is still a secret to their friends. But there are moments where Eddie can only feel how right it is, Buck in his life, with his family and with Chris. And Eddie may not be able to put a word to the feeling he's been having lately, but he knows that his relationship with Buck isn't going anywhere. At least, Eddie was sure of that until he potentially fucked things up. Now, he's not sure where they stand, precisely. He's not sure if he's what Buck really wants, or if Buck's second guessing. They need to talk. The thing is, talking and vulnerability has never been Eddie's strong suit. (Part 13 of The Evolution of Buddie)

somebody i can kiss by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Christmas, Getting Together, Post-S5 | 7K | Explicit): Buck might be a little touch-starved. And he knew that, but he was not prepared to deal with how the knowledge would interact with his newfound awareness of his crush on—no, realistically, his undying love for Eddie. Because now, whenever he sees Eddie, Buck just wants to shuffle close, bury his face in Eddie’s neck, and hold him. Every second he spends with his best friend, he’s either picturing that, or he’s imagining Eddie’s mouth on his dick, Eddie’s hands on his skin, Eddie’s fingers in his mouth— Anyway. The point is, he should not spend Christmas on a fucking sleepover with Eddie. But he’s gonna.

A Brief Interruption by Leslie_Knope (S7E5 Spec, BuckTommy but Buddie Endgame | 8K | Teen): The restaurant door squeaks again, which Buck ignores, but it’s accompanied by a little noise, just a hitch paired with a small intake of breath, which would be completely unremarkable if not for the fact that Buck has heard that sound a thousand times and would recognize it anywhere. He turns his head, abruptly enough that Tommy’s mouth briefly mashes against his cheek. “Eddie,” Buck says, his voice squeaky and weird. His brain is just pure static, partly from the kiss and partly because Eddie is standing six feet away, eyes wide, staring like he’s never seen him before.

Take These Little Pebbles One by One by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Post-S7E5, Endgame Buddie | 9K | Teen): Eddie tells Buck nothing will change between the two of them, except it does. He feels Buck quickly slipping away so he starts to steal pieces of him back. Literally. Or, the one where Eddie has a couple of come to Jesus moments courtesy of Christopher and Tommy, a bit of an emotional breakdown, and a lot of feelings about Evan Buckley’s dentist appointments and where his socks belong.

all I want (your eyes on mine) by bigfootsmom/ @bigfootsmom (Buck/Tommy/Eddie, PWP | 10K | Explicit): Buck is lying there, Eddie instantly recognizes the head of honey blond curls resting on the arm of the couch. But the head of short brown curls between Buck’s shaking thighs takes a second longer to place. But then they look up, blue eyes going comically wide as they lock onto Eddie. Tommy Kinard is on Buck’s couch. He’s on Buck’s couch between Buck’s thighs with his lips wrapped around Buck’s cock. The one where Eddie yearns, Buck pines, and Tommy just wants to have a good time.

🔥 give your heart and soul to charity by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Post-S7E5, Sexuality Crisis | 12K | Teen): “It’s been a while since you asked for an emergency session,” Frank says, voice even as always. “Can I ask what brought this on?” “I think I just dumped god,” Eddie says and then he bursts out laughing. He can’t control it, he knows he sounds manic, like he’s somewhere between laughter and a breakdown, edging closer to the breakdown. “Holy shit I did dump god.” “I’m going to need just a little more than that,” Frank says and his face looks torn between concern and amusement. OR Eddie dumps God, gets some more therapy, accepts parts of himself he was taught to hate, loves his best friend, and loves himself.

Buck up, Buttercup by etlagiapet/ @etlagiapet (Canon Divergent, ~S5 | 14K | Mature): “God, you’d probably make a good writer for an advice column. You’re so earnest and optimistic, and you want to help people literally all the time.” Buck blinks at her, frozen with his beer halfway to his lips. His stomach does this thing, an excited little lurch that happens when he gets ahead of himself, but he can’t help it. He clears his throat and manages to ask, “Uh, really?”

Breaking news: LA firefighters in love by AnnaNSmith/ @annansmith (Taylor POV, ~S5, Getting Together | 19K | General): “In an incredible turn of events firefighter Buckley is alive and mostly unharmed. What could have ended in a devastating tragedy finds its happy ending after all. What an absolute relief that firefighter Buckley made it out alive and that we now see-” Taylor turns around, only to come to a stuttering stop at witnessing the spectacle in front of her “-my boyfriend kissing his best friend.” Or, Taylor gets a second shot at accompanying the 118 for another segment and notices that her boyfriend is a lot closer to his best friend than she remembers.

🔥 drink the river dry by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Post Shooting, Getting Together | 32K | Explicit): It wasn’t until they were discussing his discharge paperwork and painkiller schedules that it really sunk in for Eddie that Buck would be staying with him and Christopher. That he would be around 24/7 except for his shifts at work. That he’ll sleep on the couch, where he’s been sleeping for days now to look after Christopher. The worst part is that it’s necessary—Eddie isn’t going to be able to do a damn thing for himself for the next couple of weeks. He’s lucky if he can put a shirt on by himself a month from now. Yeah, that’s going to be a problem. Or: Eddie gets shot, breaks up with his girlfriend, and pines like there’s no tomorrow.

🔥 The Heart Opening Sequence by Leslie_Knope (Post-S3, Getting Together | 34K | Mature): Eddie’s handsome, that’s obvious, Buck clocked that the second he met him. Part of him still can’t really believe that the guy he was so threatened by at first ended up as his closest friend, which is why these weird twinges are so unsettling. Buck isn’t sure if they’re real, for one, these odd flashes of what it would be like to lean over and kiss Eddie while they’re watching a movie or brush a hand over his back while they’re in the kitchen. And for two, it’s so far out of the realm of possibility that it’s barely worth thinking about.

🔥 everything (nothing) has changed by bizarrestars (Post-S4, Love Confessions | 48K | Explicit): After Eddie gets shot, Buck confesses his love. From there, things get a little out of hand.

🔥 let it pour out of your soul series by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Magical Realism AU, Witch Eddie | 3 works | 71K | Complete):

collectively unconsciously composed (S4E6: Jinx | 46K | Explicit): Or: in which the author re-watched Buck Begins and Jinx and thought: what if this was gayer and had actual magic?

that systematic drug (PWP | 5K | Explicit): Eddie’s mouth goes dry when he opens the door and sees Buck. He’s clean-shaven and with his hair carefully styled back, smiling at Eddie sweetly and a little teasingly. Buck is wearing his dark jeans and his light blue v-neck polo shirt, the one that’s tight enough that it shows off the bulge of his biceps and the definition of his pecs and abs. Eddie knows this shirt. Buck's favourite, because he knows he looks good in it.

something binding us together (Established Buddie | 20K | Teen): Or: Eddie plans a long-avoided visit to his parents, discovers some things about his magic, and begins to build his family a home in LA's witching community.

Podfic

🔥 [podfic] tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forever) by Matriaya // fic by @chronicowboy (Post-S6, Time Loop | 5-6h | Mature): "Think I can get a hug from my best man on my wedding day?" he asks, quietly hopeful in a way that makes Eddie want to tear off his skin. "Sure," Chris replies with a shrug, turning to throw Eddie a cheeky grin. "Dad, Buck needs a hug." (OR: eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia)

🔥 my certainty is wild, weaving [Podfic] by blackglass/ @blackestglitter for tuckergreeen/ @henwilsonmd (Post-S5A, Hurt Buck | 45-60min | Teen): “Eddie,” Carla says softly. “You could have called. We would’ve met you at the hospital.” He shakes his head. “No. I didn’t—uh. I didn’t go to the hospital.” He feels the way Carla’s hand goes still. “Eddie.” It’s not nearly as soft-spoken this time. “You didn’t go see him? Or Chim? Your team?” “They’re not my team,” Eddie says, almost without thinking. He winces as soon as the words are out. Or: Buck is hurt, Eddie is worried, and everything is broken.

[podfic] i was supposed to sweat you out (i think there's been a glitch) by half_bakedboy/@half-bakedboy // fic by @loserdiaz (Canon Divergent, Fire Academy | 45-60min | Explicit): "What's your problem, man?" "You. You're my fucking problem, Diaz." There were a lot of problems with Eddie Diaz, if you ask Buck. The guy is obnoxiously good at everything without even trying, he's too perfect, too confident. And the biggest problem of them all: Eddie's an attractive asshole that features more often than not in Buck's filthiest dreams. or; The Buck and Eddie meet at the fire academy, rivals to lovers fic.

🔥 Like Any Unloved Thing [Podfic] by ReformedTsunderePodfics/ @film-in-my-soul // fic by @hmslusitania (Urban Fantasy/Noir AU, PI Eddie, Ghost Buck | 1.5-2h | Mature): After the war, Eddie Diaz opened his own private investigation business here in LA and usually he does alright for himself. But this case, the one with the Buckley siblings, is going to crawl under his skin and stay there. It's going to change his life. He has no idea how.

[Podfic] If I Risk It All (Could You Break My Fall?) by liketherestofla, MistMarauder/@gracieryder for Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (James Bond AU | 4.5-5h | Explicit): “This is Buck,” Bobby said when Buck’s tongue refused to unstick from the top of his mouth. “Your new quartermaster.” Eddie’s eyes— brown with just a glint of green if you caught them in the right light— widened before he scanned Buck with another sweeping assessment. “You’re—” Buck had heard it all before. “Not all of us nerds are the skinny kids that used to get picked on in high school.”

🔥 Hot Ghost Problems by ebjameston [Podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea)/ @rhea314 // fic by @ebjameston (Canon Divergent, S2, Ghost Buck, Witch Eddie | 5-6h | Teen): Eddie is the newest firefighter at the 118. Buck is the ghost haunting the 118. Unfortunately for both of them, Eddie's also a witch and needs to put Buck's spirit to rest, because that's what witches do. Turns out, Buck's spirit? Super not interested in being put to rest. Very interested, however, in flirting with Firefighter Diaz, who is just trying to survive his candidate year. (Also turns out, Buck? Super not dead.)

WIP

Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night by I_still_dont_understand_13 / @dangerpronebuddie (Prompt collection | 30/? | 19K | Teen): 100 kiss prompts.

30. 70. what if i told you none of it was accidental: An accidental kiss that confuses you both, but only a moment passes before you crash your lips back against each other's

What’s Your Order? by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Post-S7E5, BuckTommy | 3/6 | 6K | Teen): 5 Times Buck Guessed Tommy’s Coffee Order + 1 Time He Didn’t Have To

🔥 Cowboy With a One Track Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergence, Not A Firefighter Buck | 2/4 | 11K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 7 (Land): Grieving and tortured, Evan Buckley has been living alone in Montana in a remote cabin for nearly a decade. After an incident that leaves him missing six months of his life, and suddenly in connection with a group of strangers from Los Angeles, Evan must decide whether to remain in his self-imposed exile, or take a chance at life again.

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 9/18 | 49K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

[fumifooms]

I've reached a certain point in the manga now where Sissel heckles Marcille and mentions how "half breeds" are sterile.

And now I can't get out of my head the idea of a Marcille who can't become a mother herself, but ends up being able to experience something of the sort through meeting Chilchuck's daughters (even if they are all grown already.)

And allow me to go further, but also imagine that there is a point where Chilchuck does finally bury the hatchet with his wife, but have come to accept that they just don't work anymore, and decide to divorce formally on amicable terms.

The daughters therefore all slowly get to know Marcille, and even without the intent of being motherly, she dotes on them all anyway (because they're just so cute and so sweet!), and they see how their crabby father's eyes goes soft when they see Marcille interacting with them that by the end of it, they corner their father and tell him they approve.

Yes!!! YES!!!

You seem to not have finished the manga yet so I want to avoid spoilers… But no if I’m going into this topic I’ll absolutely end up spoiling some things lol. So beware, spoilers in the links I put and under the cut! I also talk about this topic/dynamics headcanons a bit here, and here, and specifically about his wife and him reconciling or not here, and my fanfic Grind Me Down Sweetly has bits and headcanons like these, but it’s an aspect of marchil with lots of potential!! Not obligatory reading btw lol, I just like to keep things as tidy as I can with things I cover many times plus there’s more stuff I won’t say here. I’m gonna be talking for a while though!!

I feel she could genuinely get along great with Flertom and Puckpatti, their personalities seem pretty compatible! Meanwhile Meijack’s more reserved, but Marcille would grow on her too. Meijack 100% would be the one who sticks more around her father as Marcille and her sisters chat enthusiastically when she first meets them, and out of nowhere she goes "She suits you." and Chil spits out his beer, but he swallows back the urge to deny it and then agrees.

One of my marchil timelines is that they stay close friends for a long time after post-canon, before maybe or maybe not dating. I like to think that after they meet, Marcille starts exchanging letters with Flertom sometimes because they hit it off and Chilchuck is like "Why are you on first name basis with my daughter!!! WHY ARE YOU ON FIRST NAME BASIS WITH MY DAUGHTER!! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN, STOP INFILTRATING ALL OF MY LIFEEEE-" <- Man who has her on his mind 24/7 and is kinda going mad over it. Hehe I’ll let you read the fic I linked in the beginning if that sounds fun to you!

I know that in my fic wips where confessions or proposals happen I tend to bring the topic of the daughters up. Here’s my favorite that lowkey guts me

Post-canon spoiler but I like the idea that when the Toudens die from age or one thing or another, if one of them forms a family and has kids (through adoption or anything) then at least over the centuries she’d still overlook the lineage of royals and would find a sort of solace from that, always being surrounded by lots of caring people. I think this is a bit healing for her single child self as well! Her notion of family and childhood are very tainted by loneliness and loss, and though she needs to accept that all hellos end with goodbye and find closure and happiness even through that, something can definitely be done about the loneliness! And as you can see with my fanfic wip, in a perfect marchil world I also think that she would fully become a part of Chilchuck’s family and generations down the line either people at family gatherings call her "great-auntie", or inversely no one really knows and just goes "oh her? Yeah that’s Marcille. She’s in the family -shrug-". The family dinners would be awkward at first since I imagine Chilchuck’s prejudices on elves come from somewhere lol, but it’d be so sweet.

But yes, back to the daughters! Marcille is 100% a mom friend who loves caring for her loved ones (I have a post examining that a bit here), there’s how she likes to bathe Izutsumi and Falin after all (Kui has said it herself that she loves when characters care for others in ways like that, which reflects in Marcille, and with Milsiril & Kabru or Mithrun & his caretakers, etc~), but I don’t think she’d actually want a kid herself if she had to choose, maybe she’d grow to want it one day but I think what kind of bonds she’s looking for currently are more platonic and such than familial in nature, that she wouldn’t want ro raise a child herself quite yet. She likes spoiling people she loves and caring for them in domestic ways, but not the ‘everything else’ part lol. So I actually think this works out great!! She 100% dotes on them as you said, but in many ways I think their dynamic would be a lot like gal pals chatting every once in a while, Flertom and her share in the latest gossip and they talk about fashion amongst other things! With Meijack being more akin to the usual stepmother dynamic where what ties them together is Chilchuck, until they grow to have a bond based on familiarity over time (I feel like due to these she’s the one that would have a mother-daughter relationship with Marcille the most since Flertom and Puckpatti would be more casual with her, but I basically think all the daughters and Marcille see each other as equals). Their common point above everything is caring about Chilchuck, and though of course Marcille would be ready to offer motherly comfort or support for them if they wanted it, the girls are pretty past that age so I don’t see it happening all that much, at least not in the first 5 years or so~ I think once Chil dies (probably not very late with how he drinks a lot of alcohol and was malnourished/"strict dieting" for what’s implied to be a very long time) the reverse is gonna happen, where Marcille is gonna be absolutely gutted and will reach out to the girls a lot to grieve together and spend time recovering together. Talking about him and whatnot. If his wife goes to his funeral and they meet, Marcille and her could potentially also have very interesting interactions.

Girl sure wishes she wasn’t right here :( Unbeknownst to him she’d be giving him lifespan buffs ad infinitum if she could

And! It was so easy for me to miss this detail when I first read The Adventurer’s Bible (the world guidebook) but Marcille’s mom remarried! Marcille has a stepfather herself! It’s interesting that Marcille’s relationship with him or her stance on her mom remarrying is left so open, but she certainly acts enthusiastic about families and kids so doesn’t seem like there’s a complex there. I think this would give her a lot of thoughts about potentially being a stepmother though! I think it might influence her in her casual attitude, where she doesn’t want to push herself as ‘the new mother’ and whatnot, and I think honestly if the girls ever wanted to vent to her about how their family situation made them feel, Marcille and them could have really heartfelt and understanding conversations.

Ah yes ah yes, might as well unload my ‘Chilchuck has a second family of clingy asses’ timeline I adore: Marcille and Izutsumi, + the rest of the gang to a lesser degree~ I already linked a post in which I talk about how Marcille’s somewhat of a motherly presence for her, and Izutsumi’s relationship with Chilchuck is def rather father-like too (post going into that here)! A post-canon Marcille hc I love is that Marcille gets a cat~ A black one to fit with her witch aesthetic, and with how the cat hairs are black like the dresses she now wears all the time so it’s less apparent that she’s covered in them lol. It reminds her of Izutsumi a bit as she goes on her journey, it’s kinda like the chickens she had around her as a kid, she loves having things to care for and spoil AND also it’s the end place of her character arc about appreciating loved ones even if they’re short-lived, and having the courage to want to know and love them anyways… It always comes back to marchil and his stupid only 20 years left to live I swear �� I genuinely feel like Marcille tends to keep some emotional distance from others during canon to try and minimize that effects of loss would have on her, but more on that in another upcoming post. But yeah I feel like every time she sees a stray cat while strolling out she starts tearing up a little… She wonders if Izutsumi is okay and eating well and all… But she learns to live with not fully knowing, and optimism & being hopeful are her trademark thing so she puts them to good use! Sometimes her and Chil will hang out of his shop and they’ll see a stray cat. They start leaving some food out for them. Chil is all "Bad idea! They’ll become overly reliant on our food and it’ll be bad for them!" at first but he caves. So then they watch it feed on what they gave it, and she brings up what was both on their mind. "Do you ever wonder where Izutsumi went, if she’s alright…" "You say that as if she didn’t visit three months ago. Aren’t you supposed to be the one for who long periods of time mean little here?" And a silence falls, but then after a bit he finally replies, without snark. "… I do." Marcille’s cat would 100% be a stray she decided to adopt actually. I am seeing how a marchil fic being written centered around this would work~ Before she brings it to the castle and officially adopts it, she sees it standing out in the rain all pitifully in front of Chil’s shop once and she invites it in (to Chilchuck’s despair), and from then on it’s still a stray but it has a home to go back to. And it can showcase Marcille and Chil’s relationship alongside that metaphorically and it’s like… Domesticating love… 😭 I think I hold a Grind Me Down Sweetly sequel here~ Chilchuck is so the ‘doesn’t want a cat dad who ends up being the cat’s favorite’, both with his cat daughter and the actual cat lol, and Marcille’s not a cat but he certainly wasn’t looking for another romance so hey!! Chilchuck expected to live alone forever after his wife didn’t get back together with him, but surprise!!! Ok cat tangent over I promise <3

Meeting the stepmom energy… Plus the dwarven bachelor. And the king. Maybe he didn’t make up with his wife "like how well it goes in stories" like he hoped for, but her wish sure did come true!! She met his family!! :] I’m planning a huge character arc post about this part of their interactions in canon, but optimism and hope did at least half the job <3 Especially since he hadn’t seen his daughters in years too. She’s good for him!!! And he’s good for her!!!

<3

[rockets-sillyobsession]

Lee!Robbie HCs

Well, hello there! Long time no see!

Yeah i'm not too active on tumblr much these days, but i'm hoping to make that change, every great once and a while! I've also got a fanfic in the works (also lee!robbie btw) but until then, I offer you some thoughts on this boy whom i love so dearly <333

NSFW/FETISH BLOGS PLEASE DNI!!!

Being an emo is so lee core. What are you refusing to smile/laugh for, hmm?? I know what you are

Wendy is his main ler, ofc, but close behind is mabel!!! in my mind, him and mabel end up being close friends/have a big brother and little sister dynamic and they are SO best friends core!!! and you can't be besties with Mabel Pines without being wrecked <3333

ESPECIALLY with an angsty attitude like his. She will NOT stand for this constant frowning!!

He swears a LOT when being tickled, especially right beforehand when he's in Panic mode, and mabel doesn't take too kindly to that

Their whole friend group has also teamed up on him a time or two

They all like to poke or jab him randomly bc of the funny little noises he makes

Even if they're not participating themselves, his friends like to tease him as it's happening (Mainly Nate and Lee) and encourage the ler to go to worst spots/do particular things they know get to him, etc

But it's all in good fun, they all know he's having fun :333

There's something very sweet to me about him going all in on being emo/angsty but holding onto this ONE silly, childish thing that makes him happy....

He's shown to be a bit of an artist, so I bet he totally hasn't drawn his epic, totally not a self insert OC being wrecked by the also totally not an insert for the girl he has a crush on

You can tell he's in a lee mood by how obnoxious his ego is "Yeah, whatever..." Not in a mood "Uh, yeah, I could totally take you!" In a mood

His main spot is under his arms, mainly bc I love imagining him trying to do literally ANYTHING and always having to put himself "at risk" in front of wendy/his friends

He's SUCHHHH a brat!! and for what? everyone knows what you're doing, you're not hiding ANYTHING by acting tough <3333

"Tch, and just what are YOU gonna do?" "What, am I supposed to be scared or something?"

His confidence is almost INSTANTLY dashed by ANY sort of advance from a ler. You so much as move as he's shrinking back and suddenly he's "sorry" for what he said

He isn't. Hope this helps <3333

He also likes to use his angsty nature to his advantage and dramatically lament about random things and do dramatic poses while doing so, hoping/knowing somebody's gonna take advantage of the fact that his arms are up and over his head

Mabel calls it "cheering him up" when she wrecks him for it, Wendy calls it "shutting him up" ;KAJSDFLKJASKD

Him and Wendy have been childhood friends for a good while, so he's been wrecked PLENTY over the years, meaning he has a surprising amount of endurance

He's quick to crumble with teasing, but he can put up with quite a bit of tickling

I don't think this man has tickled another person in his LIFE A;SDKFJALSKDJK

He can sure try!!! Oh, how he's tried!! but it NEVER turns out good for him laskdjfkd so sorry buddy

Except i'm not sorry bc he's a lee and he's having the time of his life <333

Afterwards, he's actually pretty. chill and sweet :333 He's got a bit more pep in his step and just generally a lot happier for a while

That's all for now, thank you for reading!!

[kaleaido]

So... episode 16 huh?

Okay guys, what the FUCK WASTHATTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!1! that was. wow. oh my god. wow. okay I need to sit down. I'll be doing the bullet point breakdown again cause my thoughts are everywhere:

THE ANIMATION IS PHENOMENAL??? The art in general is AWESOME ii2 always had really fluid and cinematic animation imo but GOD this is such eye candy

Seeing the III contestants ISFUCKING SCARY I DIDN'T THINK WE'D GET TO SEE THEM AT ALL??? I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA BE MENTIONED??? They look soo weird in the old art style but this is cool I like it

okay I did NOT expect Taco to be doing her apology thing so early BUT OH MY GOD????// THE ENCOUNTER IS EVERYTHING I FEARED BUT IT WAS SO GOOD EVEN WITH THE SHORT TIME SPAN OHGUEAHGH......PICKLE........SORRY BUT I WAS CHEERING FOR HIM HE KIND OF ATE THAT UP........... AND THE PART WHERE HE FUCKING DIED AND TACO WAS CRYIGN?!?@!@KASJKADSDJWHATTHE FUCK WAS THAT. WHAT TWAS THAT BRIAN. BRAIN. WHAT. I thought they were having a fight or something but NOOOIT WAS WAY WAYWAY WORSE. HELLO???? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL ABOUT THIS . Actually! I'm not feeling okay. I don't like this.

II SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MUSICAL WHATT!!! Steve Cobs song certainly was not on my bingo card but here we are. hate that guy but man he got a good voice

I'm digging the payjay angst but I didn't think that was a segue TO KILL OJ?????WHY WAS THAT SCENE SO GOOD. I'M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH IT WAS HORRIFYING!!! THE ENTIRE SEQUENCE OF MEPHONEX APPROACHING THE CONTESTANTS WASSOASHDGHWAHWASHJD But real talk, does this imply that Toilet was created by Mephone in some ways???

Hi guys I'm actually not okay with us seeing characters that are in pairs be separated. Mm yeah. OJ, Soap, Nickle. Yeah. I'm not okay that they spent the episode showing these characters hanging with their friends only for them to die. Yeah.I'm not okay seeing their friends being in complete shock of what just happened. Yeah. Mh yeah.........

THE HAUNTED MANSION GUYS ARE BACK YAYYY!!!!! and they were roomates <3 (dough i hope you die the second time)

Knife and Suitcase interactions are so well written I can't get over them. Also the way both of them handle 3GS isSOOEUAHGH I lovee 3GS

Knife and Trophy. Need I say more

Suitcase, Nickel and Balloon. Need I say more

Steven Cobs is horrible I hate him but he was also the most entertaining character in this. Him putting Mephone on speaker phone isEVIL I HATE HIM!!!!!! also never realised that he was so egotistical to name his products with "Me" in them that's such Steve Cobs things

THE PLOTTWIST IS SO. DEVASTING. IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT FOR HOURS NOW. SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT MEPHONE WAS JUST ROLEPLAYING WITH HIS OCS????? SERIOUSLY???? This just makes so much sense but it's also so horrible. like how many of the stuff tthat contestants did was intentional??? Is this why Bot was one of Mephone's favorite contestants? because they were "real"???

Also quick thing but I just hopped off from Brian's stream just now and he said something along the line of how BP is the opposite of Steve Cobs. Which just makes me wonder if like. did Mephone ALSO make BP??? Did he make someone he could look up to as a healthy father figure??? This is making me insane

yeah my brain is absolutely jumbled right now. if anyone still want to yap on about ii16 hit my dm please I still don't know how to feel about this act. LIKE YEAH It's awesome I love it but wow......is the emotional damage really worth it....

[headingalaxys-spicy]

Thinking of Ludwig slowly becoming a yandere after being in a relationship with his s/o for years and s/o just accepts it because they love him so much. They take every punishment he gives, and feel torn between wanting to escape but they love him too much to leave. They’re timid around him and he takes advantage of that, teasing them for his own pleasure- that’s what I’m thinking about 😅

Hello there you beautiful human. Thanks for waiting in purgatory for your ask to be answered. I hope it satisfies you ✨

Gonna put the warning here : Totally touches on things like toxic relationships that are abusive so if that’s triggering for you then yeaaaah skip this one.

How you first encountered Ludwig: 

You were having a blast at a small German town's annual summer festival. You’d gotten separated from your friend group as you spotted some fancy Deutsch wine crafted by a family doing it for over 200 years. You hadn’t realized that you were pretty drunk when you’d bumped into the German General & spilled your cherry red wine all over him as you took a tumble to the ground. 

“Oh Sheibe! Es tut mir leid! Ich kann diesen Kleidung sauber helfen.” Panicked, you pulled out many napkins and water bottles to assist him with removing the stain. Ludwig may have been annoyed but became relaxed & spellbound by your beautiful face, perfectly framed by your freshly trimmed hair. 

‘Humph. Well, at least they’re remorseful.’ 

“Es ist okay. I have dry cleaners I can drop this uniform off at and more to wear, but…” Ludwig reached into his back pocket to pull out his business card. 

“If you’re around in Berlin & want to get the best Wurst in all of Germany, call or text me. Ciao” 

[He learned his rizz from Italy.] 

The first date was a smooth yet fantastical affair. The two of you dawdled through the sprawling city of Berlin. From the Brandenburg gate to the TV tower, & down to the River Spree. You got to be fully immersed in the capital city of Deutschland by none other than its resolute representative, Ludwig Belischmidt. 

You were dazzled by all the history he knew of, down to tiny details you knew couldn’t be found in a surface-level history textbook. Your admiration of him, combined with your cute face & intellect, make it much easier for Ludwig to catch feelings. 

As the two of you moved past the honeymoon phase and into the waves of a long-term relationship, you began to notice subtle changes in Ludwig. 

He wouldn’t complement or encourage you as much. Instead, his adoration would be criticism or telling you whatever you accomplished wasn’t good enough / didn’t meet his skyscraper-high standards. This breaks down your self-esteem, so you’ll doubt yourself more. Ludwig will want you always to be pining for his approval. 

When you do something that significantly displeases him, he will have you do something that will physically break you down. Ludwig is like a loving but stringent drill sergeant. Here is a short list of things you’ll have to do in order to get back into his good graces: 

50 Push-Ups 

100 Jumping Jacks 

Hold the ‘T’ pose for 30 minutes to an hour 

Planks 

5 to 15-mile runs (depending on how Sadistic he’s feeling, if someone tried to get close to you, and your level of non-compliance will depend on how long you’ll have to run for) 

These are all things that will exhaust you and prevent you from wanting to talk back, argue with him, etc. This rigorous training also mitigates 80%-85% of your free time to socialize with others. 

Ludwig does his best to avoid putting his hands on you because you’re a human. You’re incredibly fragile. You weren’t meant to withstand him at his maximum strength. However, when you cross him, he has a leather belt to put you back in your place. For the most part, it's not something he takes great pride in, but he needs to keep you under control. He’s realized over the years that once you’ve become emotionally attached to him, he could get away with more & more problematic behavior. All he had to do was hit you with the line: “Es tut mir leid, Liebling. I had to. It was for your own good. I’ll make it up to you.” Ludwig will give you a chastised kiss on the forehead. This gesture never failed to make you turn bright red and send butterflies pouring through your guts. Your heart would sprint due to feeling the adrenaline that comes from being in love. However, your nerves would be feeling a dry stick rubbing against them gaining friction that produced a thick smoke. 

Your typical response to his apology would be followed up by a brief: 

“Kein problem. I forgive you, Ludwig.” 

Even though Ludwigs' smile touched your skin like an early morning Fall sunray heating up your chilly skin, the glaring truth about him and his progressively toxic tendencies became far more difficult to ignore as time continued. 

You evaded his gaze this time when you accepted his apology. You wondered how many times he’s said that to you now. 

‘But all relationships are like this. I shouldn’t have upset him in the first place.’ This was one of the many rationalizations that you told yourself. 

You often wondered how many more times you’d hear him say “sorry” when you cried out for him to “stop” or say “Ludwig, please! It was just a mistake!!!” As more lashes came swinging through the air & made the all too familiar crack against your soft skin. It never failed to vivid crimson 4-inch whiplash there. 

‘Is my relationship with Ludwig actually normal, though?’ Came the uncomfortable question that came to your mind every now & again. It normally materialized after you’d faced another grueling punishment of military-style exercise, a lashing, being denied access to friends, fun, and family, a disagreement, etc. You longed not to have to walk in a minefield of broken glass, eggshells, & razors when navigating conversations with him. 

“Y/N?” Ludwig says sternly with a touch of concern. Your lack of eye contact with him when accepting his apology was a subtle signal to him that he had to go all out when he planned your latest couples' make-up trip. It had to be something spectacular. 

“Yes?” You say in an exhausted tone that was weighed down by the conflict between your heart and your head. You continued to stare at the concrete of the garage. 

“Where do you want to go for dinner?” 

Ludwig would ignore your gradually growing frigid demeanor since you’d been together for such a long time. 

‘It’s just a rough patch. They’ll get over their hesitations soon enough. A well-planned and thought-out day always wins Y/N back.’ 

This is what Ludwig tells himself in order to keep up the delusion that he’s doing nothing wrong and that your relationship is normal. It’s always been this way. 

Why would it be any different now? 

A vacation was the only thing Ludwig needed to get the two of you back on track. 

Usually, Ludwig relished in silence, but not when you refrained to talking to him at all. You would at least give a few compliments about something or try to start a conversation. Only having spoken the basic pleasantries of “Guten Morgen” or “Guten Nacht” with no attempt at speaking more did make him feel uneasy. But not enough to make him rethink where he was going next. 

“Y/N, while planning our trip, I thought we could do something far more exciting.” You stopped staring at your food to move your eyes up to meet his. “We’re going to climb up Watzmann.” Ludwig knew damn well you hated heights. 

“And …..why, for the love of God, would you think I’d enjoy that?” Not being able to hold back your disbelief and irritation. 

“Well, all that training you’ve done. It’s time to test your mettle Y/N! You can’t let all of my hard work go to waste!” Utterly oblivious to the fuse he’s just ignited. 

The tense and uncomfortable silence choked any peace out of the atmosphere. It stayed that way for 90 seconds as the sparks set off the bomb. Its flames made its way through your veins. 

This was not what real love looked like. You pushed your plate away & slammed your fork and knife onto it. Your reaction hit Ludwig like a lightning bolt. 

“I'm seriously done with you, Ludwig!” 

With that, you went back to your hotel room in a huff. Some people stared silently at Ludwig, and others watched you march away. 

You never turned back. 

[lovebvni]

things to look forward to + ways to move forward!! <3

hello, lovelies!! i’m finally doing a pick-a-pile on this blog… after about half a year of being active

this pap will be answering 2 questions, but they have multiple parts. what’s coming in (from what i can see) and ways to get to it.

disclaimer: this pac isn’t legal advice or what you should do in your life. it is just based off your current energy. and that can change. purely for entertainment purposes.

now please, close your eyes and take a deep breath. wait until you see a swirl of colour to exhale. let your breath and spirit guide you to a pile.

piles 1 -> 2 -> 3

pile 1 — find it inside

hello, pile 1! here’s your reading :)

how close is your reward?

your reward is very close. 6 of pentacles coming out makes me have the vision on a banker grabbing their papers being put together before handing the recipient, you! maybe there’s like two more things you have to sign, or bring those documents to someone else, but at most im getting that there’s about 3 more steps left in the process? 4 at most. but seriously, you are close!

the papers can be to finally get your new business started… are you starting something like a business pile one? material wealth is coming through. the justice card comes to mind — perhaps in a legal argument with someone? i think this is the success about to come. or at least a satisfactory agreement.

what do you need to remove from your energy?

being too ambitious. you’re almost toooo focused and driven. are you cutting people off or isolating yourself from people and friends? honey you need a support group. it’s not always good to do things alone. you aren’t in a cage. your tunnel vision is too stuck on this goal you’re trying to reach. you need a breath of fresh air. just take a moment to relax and have a fun time. even students need a break from school, why do you think we have weekends? you’re wearing yourself out.

what do you need to accept?

finishing touches make everything look better. this is the final steps. just because i’m saying “oh you have abt 3 more steps” didn’t mean those are big steps. those are teeny steps. but material wealth(or a legal win) is coming either way, no matter what you change in the end. just trust the process.

a new focus & what to reject

stick to your plan! don’t back out of it last minute because you don’t like how it’s turning out. you need a BREAK! take a step back! but this doesn’t mean let everyone get into your business. keep it to yourself for now. it’s gonna work out, though!

thanks for reading, pile one! i hope this resonates, and i wish you the best!! now go have fun! stop working yourself overtime!

confirmation/additional signs: “don’t compare yourself to others”, don’t let others control you, have your own path and stick to it, “have some sort of tunnel vision”, the colour red, “girl trip!”, painting, “i need you to take a step back before i knock you on your fucking ass” — elita’s mentally not here, 555.

pile 2 — gift from the gods

hello, pile two! this is your reading!

first off, i’m doing this reading with my friend nile (nile says hi bc nile always says hi 💯) and they said they REALLY felt the need to touch on ur overall energy. so here’s what they said!

“With the number of face cards that are in this spread, and the general theme I thought about while pulling out the cards, it seems like pile 2 is the type to ask others for 2nd and 3rd opinions alot? I mainly thought about family members but it could easily be like, friends, classmates, school counselors/teachers, etc. Pile 2 maybe feels like they're conflicted because they're getting way different opinions on something (or maybe that's the normal dynamic) and they aren't sure which one is good advice and which one isn't”

don’t second guess urself 😡😡 ur intuition is always right!

how close is your reward?

this idea is brand new, isn’t it? some something you just decided to try, to dabble in. to dip your toes in, maybe as a distraction? i feel like this is something you decided to do on a whim, so maybe you’re not that far along with it. i mean you aren’t even in the pool yet… how can you start swimming? so, i would say about a 1-3 out of ten.

what do you need to remove from your energy?

wow, fear of some sort of older male figure. you may have an older sibling, nile got a brother or a cousin. they have divine masculine energy. they may or may not be a male, though. they may be someone who reaches out when they need something from you. you need to learn to start saying no to them. i also think that this could be where your double and triple checking could come in. are you someone who asks “should i do this for them?” and most of your friends say no, but you only need that one yes and you’ll take it? why would you do that to urself :( it’s so harmful to give away your energy without gaining.

nile also brought up inner voices, “inner voices that has that sort of vibe, but this is the energy of a young, mean-spirited, holier-than-thou, smart-ass that moreso likes to spout their own ideals than to actually consider what is pile 2's idea of a 'reward'” and you know what i say to this energy? SUCK ON MY DICK!

sorry. that was out of pocket. but tell them to get a life, and cut them off !!

what do you need to accept?

have u had a romantic offer? or do you think someone’s attracted to you? grab them 🤭 get ur man!! this person may also be an important friend. maybe friends w benefits? that was js a side thought. but focus on them, accept them into your life, and allow them to make your life better! i also get the feeling they could have darker hair (dirty blonde at the lightest)!! masculine energy btw!

i got the need to ask if yall r gay but 💀💀 ok girl u slay!! i’m gay too!! dw!! nblm here girly 🤞🫶‼️

a new focus & what to reject

an older, calm spirit. they could be a father or grandfather — but they could also be the person in the romantic offer trying to support you. they may advice you to focus on the here and now rather than the future or the past. stay grounded in your truth and your faith. spend some time in nature, too! you really just need a minute to take a break.

is there a person with extroverted, wild energy? they may be an energy vampire. they could be a friend of a friend, and they might spread rumors around a lot. but don’t waste too much time with them. they could make you physically sick.

that’s all i have for you, pile two! i hope your messages resonated!! have fun :)

confirmation/additional signs: “on those we call”, rapunzel’s healing song, past lives, ancestors guidance, black panther, a calming energy, (air or water sign?), the colour purple (movie + colour), issues being grounded (root chakra?), Oh No! by Marina, knowing what you want but not knowing how to get there, knowing why you make actions you don’t want to, beating yourself up, spiritually, 555.

pile 3 — black cat, do you belong?

hello pile 3!! this is ur reading :)

how close is your reward?

i also heard goal, by the way, so this may have been something you’ve been working to for a while. your card was knight of wands. homestretch, almost. i keep thinking of soccer/football. that may be something you’re into, but i’m gonna use sports references now.

this is the final quarter, not even. there’s 3 minute left in the game. you know you can win this! i feel like you’re almost too carefree in this moment though. i mean you have a carefree spirit, so that’s good! but you need more focus. overall, i would rate you the highest of any pile, a 9! at the least it’s a 9, at the most you’re literally on the last step.

what do you need to remove from your energy?

nile and i both thought it was weird/important that ace of wands came out. this is a card that obviously symbolizes new beginnings, and it’s probably the most creative card too. it shows swiftness and excitement in a challenge. you need to remove your carefreeness just for a moment to be able to grab the ace of wands from the hand of the universe. i feel like you’re being a bit lazy, so don’t! reignite your passion!

this is what nile said btw (it genuinely made me laugh 💀)

“pile 3 shouldn't just think about what they want - they should act on it! I really don't have much else to say, maybe pile 3's guides think that there's no other way to say it - it's a one way or the other type of thing, you do it or you don't - chop chop”

what do you need to accept?

5 of wands is usually about fights and rivalry, but in this context nile got sports, and i totally agree.

i mean, sports already came up in this pile for you guys already, so i feel like spirit is saying join a club or do something with other people!! stop isolating yourself! you need to do something competitive, primarily because you like fighting in a friendly way (maybe sometimes a violent way! anger issues).

if there isn’t a sport you can join, maybe because of finances or time issues, be competitive! race against yourself! do something that makes you feel good!

“if not sports, then something at the very least that gives pile 3 a sense of competition; something that makes them feel like they have to put their best foot forward to reap the best rewards! this isn't something that will wait for them if they do things half-a-step, every once in awhile kind of pace or attitude.”

in other words — DONT GO SLOW, GIRL! ACT LIKE ITS THE LAST THING U GET TO DO!! RUN!

a new focus & what to reject

focus on relationships. i want to say i get the feeling most of u guys are shifter and shifting for someone, but i could just be biased and projecting bc this like really resonates and resembles me in a lot of ways — and it’s scary!

anyways, there’s some romance in this pile. someone who has a calm spirit, maybe cold on the outside but warm on the inside. they may have been sending you signs that you haven’t been picking up much. or maybe you have been picking them up but you aren’t making an effort to reach out or you just forget easily. i totally get that, by the way, but try to put some time and focus into this romantic offer! even if it’s not in this reality, or in your mind (be delulu, and may it become trululu). nile also got this person may not want a romantic offer, but idk abt that one. getting a strong sense this is a romantic offer.

ok, sports coming through again! maybe you’ve been thinking about them a lot, but for some reason it’s in the context of something to reject. maybe this is a coach or a controlling person in a sporting way? maybe someone from your past? someone who thinks with his head, not his heart. they aren’t very emotional, and they could be cruel to you.

“maybe pile 3 is getting offers for more than one team/group? if that's the case, then I think pile 3's guides is saying to avoid the one(s) that have no-nonsense, frownie face leaders, the type of person to cut down any chances of fun and straight-up running things like a marine. whoever this is, they're way too tough on everyone else and they're allergic to fun, their authoritative stance prevents the teammates from develop a bond with each other, and this energy would probably damper pile 3's motivation.”

i’m gonna be so for real, pile 3, i had to hold off posting this pick-a-card because of yall — it’s not bad, by the way! it’s just that something that i need to say to you guys — its a personal message, i believe. i was talking to a friend, sigyn (love u girl, even if you don’t see this), and she made me think about my own journey with shifting and breaking out of a shell. i said these words: “but man, even tho i’m scared, i don’t care, because my happiness… no, im worth more than fear.”

i feel like this was what i was missing no matter what happens, no matter how scared you are of success or messing up, you are worth more than fear. it cannot hold you. and, as i said before, do it with fear. be like miles morales, jump off that roof fucking BACKWARDS. fear cannot control you, you control it. omg i’m about to cry, but you guys, fear is not all. i promise you this. if you need to talk about fear and how to get over it, send me an ask and i’ll dm you. this is not the end of this journey, nah man, this is the beginning of your life. i love you pile 3.

that’s all i got for you, pile three! wishing you the best, and i rlly hope your work pays off before the new year :) i know how hard it is to keep motivation, and keep moving after such a long time of hard work, but know it will all pay off in the end. nothing {bad} can last forever, as all things must come to an end.

confirmation/additional signs: football, hockey, sports in general, Doja Cat, fire truck (victim of sa), food, especially salads or greens, “almost there”, “i can’t give up now; i have to prove them wrong,” getting back what you lost, anger issues, self doubt, the colour blue (throat chakra?), 2020 music 💀💀 (my heart went oops by tiagz came on…! and so did savage by megan thee stallion), chaos, thriving in chaos, not from the us, barbie, sia, black and white, contrasting colours, i know better by noahfinnce — “and i won’t stop running until i hear the sirens coming…”, not stopping until you get to your goal, “i’m just ken” — ryan gosling, 69, miles morales, impulsive decisions, 555, 999, alien blues.

thank yall for reading my first pac on this blog !! it was really fun, and i hope to do it again soon <3

[accessible-art]

how does one describe an image?

hello! sorry for how long it took to get to this ask

so. an image description. first of all, why are they there? to provide accessibility, to clarify details that might've been lost/misunderstood etc. (which is why it is important for original posters to provide the description, but that's not the point of this post)

this means we should provide an image description that touches upon every aspect of an image. remember: the viewer won't know anything about the image unless you tell them. even for plain text screenshots, a screenreader won't be able to read it. therefore, we must provide a transcript for even the clearest of text images

but then, how to actually describe an image?

try and put things that pull your attention or give context. imagine you are telling someone about an image you saw – which parts would you emphasize? what details would you give?

aside from that, let me start this off with a small disclaimer: descriptions of art like we do here and general image descriptions have different principles.

for general image descriptions, details aren't of that much importance. the goal is to state the reason why the image is there: what is it telling you?

thus, unless it provides a relevant and important piece of information, you do not need to go into details of an image

for example, imagine a twitter post screenshot. when describing it, you would put the user and the post itself. unless the timestamps or like counts give context or add to a joke or something similar, you need not include them

art descriptions are a bit different. because there aren't any parts in an art piece which the artist didn't intentionally place. therefore, all of it must be accounted for.

does this mean list each and every little thing? no, not particularly. we are trying to paint an overall picture in the viewer's mind's eye. while details are important, don't drown the description in them.

then what to do? how do i know what to list and what to not list?

well, in describing art, you should first and foremost describe things you immediately notice. touch upon the different aspects placed in the artwork.

there are also a few things that are bound to give context, like medium, materials, art category, style. listing these are also important. you can start out with them, so the viewer knows what to envision

for example, putting the statement "an abstract installation done with metal wires," would help the viewer know what is going on in the artwork. if you then list that the metal wires are loosely shaped like wings, they would know that this is an installation, and not a painting of metal wings.

another thing of note, if you are using jargon, whether in art descriptions or general descriptions, not everyone might be privy to it. descriptions are for accessibility for all. therefore, if using jargon, a brief detailing to explain what it is will be suited

if you don't meet each and every point of this post, don't worry. don't feel pressured. any image description is better than none

lastly, here is a post also about image description. there are a number of links. i would suggest checking it out

hope this helps!! i tried to go over as many points as i could think of. in the end, if you don't know how to describe something, you can always ask for help!!

[fortemelody]

I'm bored so imma send an ask but what are your Amy Rose headcanons?

HI HELLO IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!! i didn’t know how to answer it and then i got busy and then i forgot but i’m here now!

and tbh i still don’t entirely know how to answer it becus im not someone who makes headcannons very often. i usually just see some on my feed and be like “oh yeah that’s so them” and then immediately forget about it LMAO but i do have a couple even tho they are a bit basic and so i’ll try to describe those few in as great detail as possible

knuckles and amy are sibling 100%. they have that dynamic for sure! they train together and they tease each other. amy’s in the small demographic of few people he trusts too. many have also pointed out that they look similar and some people hc her as part echidna which im not really opposed to either

amy and shadow are definitely besties. whenever sonic is too stubborn to do “girly” things such as try on makeup for example, shadow would do that with her instead. he doesn’t care about his public image unlike sonic. music is something that brings them together too, seeing as we already know that they’re both swifties and went to hot honey! and she was the one who brought him back to his senses in the ending of SA2 (which btw im praying that the third movie has that scene aughdkftk). shadow has a clear soft spot for her that can only be brought out by amy. i feel like the next follow up question would be if i ship them and the answer is…not really?! i think it would be a situation where maybe amy is a bit touchy at times without realizing it and shadow blushes, or shadow does stuff to make sonic jealous (to clarify them hanging out in general is purely becus shadow wants to -not just an act so he can get back at sonic- but i think it would be funny if he would take the opportunity to brag about it when sonic gets on his nerves). i do not think either of them would actually date tho even with these one off situations and they are way better as platonic besties fr ong ‼️

this one is a bit random but i’ve always thought of amy being like… a starbucks addicted girly (in the world of mobius- not irl where they could possibly be funding a genocide 😭). and it’s kinda an ironic thing in my mind. yes, she’s the least ordinary girl you could get: wields a giant hammer, incredibly strong, is hyperfixated on and can use tarot cards as weapons, and has an indescribable intuition. however, calling back to the events of SA1, she really is just a normal hedgehog at the end of the day trying to lead a normal life. she had to learn all of these attributes, she wasn’t really born with an ability like the rest of team sonic. she also lived in an apartment for part of sonic x (i think?? haven’t watched the full series and i don’t remember everything) and actually liked it. so i think she would really enjoy simple more earth like customs. i think she honestly might be embarrassed of this fact too, seeing as she’s come all this way in her life just to resort to her old ways of living.

(…okay i’m gonna be honest that last one was a bit of a stretch and it originated from me and my friend calling her a basic white girl at one point as a joke LMAO but then i thought more about it and it kinda made sense once i put it into context)

the last one is a concept i kinda stole from a comic i saw a long time ago (i have no idea of the username- but if someone does lemme know). it was the idea that sonic started liking amy once she had started to move on, how the “chasing” kinda switched roles, and after she dialed down her “fangirling”. how sonic now wants her to be obsessed after she’s made so much progress in being her own person. i kinda wrote a fanfic based off of this and expanded upon my interpretation of it through amy’s POV. although i never posted it, i think the words i chose still capture it well so i’m just gonna copy and paste that:

“When Amy started to slowly change her childish and obnoxious mannerisms towards Sonic, he immediately felt more comfortable around her, and even started subtly reciprocating his feelings to her. Amy was obviously maturing no doubt about it, but she felt as if she had lost a part of herself in doing so. That side of her that would boldly protect and proclaim her love to him. That side to her that wouldn’t stop until she got her way. That side of her that was, as Jewel stated “…constantly following him”. She felt as if she had given up so much of her personality just to feel less incomplete, to have that soulmate she always dreamed about. On top of that, Sonic loved to come and go as he pleases. She knows that he was always going to be the adventuring type, but she wish more often that he would make an effort to chat or to invite her to tag along. Chaos knows when she tries to plan anything with him, she’s too paranoid for her own good, wondering if he’ll instantly interpret it as a date and chicken out.”

-different scene-

“Amy was surely blushing before, but nothing could’ve prepared her for that statement. She felt her heart beating, no, throbbing out of control. She looked like a full on tomato now. It’s always been her dream to dance with Sonic, but in the past he always ran away, so she gave up after several attempts. But this was the “new” her. He liked the “new” her, apparently enough to dance with him.”

(ik a lot of this doesn’t make sense without more context but uhhh this is getting too long already so if you wanna know details just DM me ig 💀)

and if it wasn’t obvious already- i take a lot of what is said in the twitter takeovers, tailstube, and idw comics to heart becus i think they have the most genuine and interesting versions of these characters and tell us about small details that we wouldn’t otherwise know. i not only make this info my hcs but also like to expand upon them and use them in my evidence- so that’s what most of the things i said above are referencing.

sooo yeah i think that’s all i got. sorry i guess a lot of these were more about dynamics of character interactions rather than amy herself… i hope that’s okay! tysm anon this was a lotta fun to answer and i hope to get more of these types of questions!!

[aurae-rori]

Oh yeah, I forgot about my actual thought when I got distracted by comedic potential!

I’ve brought up Nous no longer calculating futures before, and since I’ve been studying philosophy for the past month, it gave me this fun new insight into the whole thing when put next to my cursory knowledge of non-relativistic and informational/statistical physics! Don’t come for me if I get it wrong people, I despise any mathematics that isn’t statistics

Nous’s whole deal is determinism, something I’ve also mentioned before. Theoretically, if we could track every possible variable in the entire universe, then yes, reality is probably predetermined. And Nous is clearly capable of that.

But here’s another definition:

Entropy is the measure of chaos in a closed system.

In thermodynamics, isolated systems of high entropy tend towards thermodynamic equilibrium (hello HooH) where things don’t wanna change.

In other applications, it refers to energy dispersal. Basically, as time goes on, things get watered down, energy gets less efficient, heat death of the universe blah blah blah (Hello Nanook? Hello Qlipoth even???)

It’s a lot more complicated obviously, but this general principle, limited possibilities trending in a largely predictable way, is the so called “determinism.” Entropy levels cannot change, energy can’t really be destroyed, and the systems want to stabilize because of it. They want to be in a certain configuration.

But what happened if, suddenly, it’s not a closed system?

What if there’s suddenly enough outside interference that the initial conditions no longer apply? Think those multi-pendulums. Welt Yang, Acheron, the Trailblazer, and God knows who else. There’s a decent argument to be made that someone, something, multiples of people and things, threw off the whole system.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed. But it can be introduced. The Stellaron Hunters seem to be tracking these outside interferences on a macro level, collecting stellarons specifically. Is it any coincidence that this is what the Trailblazer has been put in possession of? Are stellarons some form of, for lack of a better word, outside data poisoning?

I’m just rambling wildly at this point, but I wasn’t allowed to start taking about spacetime theory in relation to philosophical determinism in class so I’ve gotta let off steam somehow.

- 🦋

this is so intelligent that my brain has been scrambling for words that are coherent enough to respond to this as neatly as youve placed it for me, but now i just dont care and youre gonna get my unhinged ramblings.

i love the theory. i fucking love it so much and i enjoy the idea of the stellaron hunters actively fucking with shit by bringing in unknown variables. open that closed system. fuck with that all knowing machine, nous. nous cant calculate due to the system being opened, i think is what you're proposing? and i fuck with that. like yeah "fuck your closed system im gonna open it forcefully with the power of this trash raccoon and this old ass man from hi3"

i do enjoy philosophy and i think i understand what you're getting at, but my brain was so fucking scrambled im so sorry butterfly anon i always love your asks sm KSDHKSLJGHLKjh <3

[mildmayfoxe]

big fan of your romance novel complaint posts (love to see a fellow hater living it up) but i’m also curious if there are any you would recommend? not looking for anything in particular, just would love to hear your thoughts as someone else with nitpicky reading habits and a taste for trash

ok hello. i left you hanging for a FULL week and for that i am sorry but i wanted to be able to have some time to sit down and type out a real answer to which the short version is YES of course there are several that i have enjoyed!! my disclaimer is that i almost solely read gay romance so if you are looking for lesbian or even straight reccs i don't have much for you (although i will put a couple at the end anyway). hopefully something in this list is interesting to you or at least interesting to someone else! links are mostly to goodreads. break bc i'm gonna write too much

-kj charles is one of my fave authors in this genre bc they're all pretty reliable and there's a ton of them. they're all historical fiction and usually there's at least one murder- she's good at keeping a plot going while developing a romance. often supernatural or magical elements. sometimes cults! i've read almost all of the books she's written and have enjoyed them all

-charlie adhara wrote a really incredible werewolf series that i loved, the first of which is the wolf at the door. this is one of the only series i've read which keeps the emotional stakes up through the whole thing & kept me interested in a relationship after it was established bc sooo many series get boring the second the leads get together. i actually read the first book of the spin-off series (a pack of lies) first which is technically possible but i don't recommend bc i was like "wow they're really throwing me in here. i love it" and then i read the first series and i was like "oh i was supposed to know all this stuff." but i actually liked the dynamic between that couple better and i'm suffering every day because the next one still doesn't come out til 2025 and i read it in 2022. also worth noting that this (the original series) is cops-ajacent (~federal special agents~) and one of the characters is really prejudiced at the beginning & imo doesn't have enough character growth before it's waved away but if you can ignore that it's really good. mysteries! werewolves!

-speaking of werewolves (i could suggest several but i'll keep it to two) tj klune's wolfsong ends up at the top of a lot of gay werewolf novel lists (i'm keeping tabs) and there's a good reason. i enjoyed it a lot. made me kind of sad which is always a good sign to me. the writing voice was very fresh and novel at first but i did find it a little grating by the end so i've put off starting the second book in the series (it's also about a different couple which was disappointing) but i will get around to it. i enjoy tj klune in general although his recent stuff has a very different vibe than this and lightning struck heart is very 2015 in a bad way imo

-bone rider by j fally is a standalone that really delighted me. the russian mob? aliens? vaguely western? possession? throuple? it's got it all. very fun

-ok speaking of westerns there's this other series called magic & steam (yes it's steampunk. sorry. it's very silly) that starts with the engineer. a federal agent is sent to a town to apprehend a ~madman engineer~ except he runs into an infamous outlaw in the process. and the outlaw is really sexy. and probably why i enjoyed the series so much. the series also keeps them apart a lot in a way that i enjoy- i love when things take a long time. it's ongoing so this is another one that i keep checking for updates on

-i've read a lot of stuff by nr walker and they tend to be VERY hit or miss for me but one of my faves is evolved which is almost pure smut. it's about a sex robot that gains sentience. what more do i need to say. she also wrote a three-book series about an amnesiac that made me cry cry cry. and her cowboy (australian rancher) series is pretty ok. i could go through a list and tell you which novels of hers aren't worth it and which ones are good; i've read most of them

-salt magic skin magic by lee welch was a big surprise to me. cool magic, good folklore, fairies in there too. historical. big kj charles vibes which makes sense bc she edited it. welch also wrote a book called seducing the sorcerer which i had more mixed feelings about but had magic in it that i think about OFTEN (the horses)- that one's about an imposing sorcerer and a rundown groom cum handyman. and they're in their FORTIES!!! 🥳🥳🥳 (i love when books are not about 23 year olds)

-another one with a magic system i enjoyed was magician by kl noone. this was the first book i read by this author and i liked it but generally i find their books are too "nice" for me. i'm in the middle of one right now that i started months and months ago that i keep trying to go back to and it's sooo rough for me. but this one and the twelfth enchantment are pretty ok

-emily tesh wrote a duology of silver in the wood and drowned country that i loved because i am suuuuch a sucker for a wild man/green man story. really good. haunting! evocative! kj charles has a green man story too which was actually the first thing i read of hers (spectred isle)

-i complained about the monsterfucker book i was reading a while back but despite that i will also recommend the series it's from: lily mayne's monstrous, which starts with soul eater. are they messy? yes. are they repetitive? yes. are the monsters usually disappointingly humanoid? yes. are a lot of them about the military? also yes. so we're starting off on a bad foot. but the world building is interesting and there's LOTS of kinds of monsters and most of them were pretty fun. the one i just read (#7) was the worst one of the bunch though imo. and i have problems with #6. but 1 2 and 5 were good

-ok i should do a quickfire round. honeytrap: about two enemy agents during the cold war. put it off for a long time bc i didn't love that but it takes place over a VERY long period of time which is always interesting to me. zero at the bone: about a hitman who needs to protect a witness to a mob hit. really strong start but fell off a bit in the middle to the end imo.

-you'll notice a lot of these have subgenres of like fantasy historical supernatural etc but here's some regular contemporaries. a lot of these are about sad guys bc those are my favorite. best laid plans: hardware store owner helps a guy fix his house. in the middle of somewhere: same author actually. guy moves to small town to work at a college. mr jingle bells: this is a christmas one. bad title. fake dating. part of the reason i think i liked it so much is because i expected it to be awful but it was actually pretty good. good emotional stakes. published 2021 but feels very 2014. ignore that part. work for it: i rated this five stars but actually don't remember much what it was like. i think they were both really sad which i love. give me big emotions and i eat them right up with a spoon. i should read it again

-OK now i've got some straight & lesbian options. talia hibbert's brown sisters series is good and cute. she also wrote work for it, above. the unhoneymooners is the first real Romance Novel that i read and it really surprised me because i had fun! previously i had kind of written off romance novels as not for me but this kicked off a reading habit that is still going strong (primarily reading romance novels). i read this in 2020 so it might not be as good as i remember. as for lesbian options olivia waite has a series that i enjoyed that's also historical, and a friend of mine really enjoyed delilah green doesn't care (but i haven't read that one myself). and while not really romances i will always be a sarah waters fan: you may recognize her as the author of fingersmith, which is the novel park chan-wook's movie the handmaiden is based on. if you haven't seen the movie or read the book i recommend both. her books are very dramatic lesbian historical fiction; they don't always have happy endings but they're all very good

ok i think that's the end! regular disclaimer that romance is generally not a genre notable for Good Writing so a lot of these are just things i had fun with or just stuck out in my memory for having fun conceits etc. i can't guarantee that any of these are actually good, especially because this is a list solely based on my own taste and bad memory. would love to hear anybody's thoughts and/or if anybody has recommendations for ME!!! this post took me over three hours to write! crazy!

[sentientgolfball]

Hello!! Absolutely loving your blog and writing!! I can’t stop rereading some of your works!! I was hoping to maybe request a phantom x reader? I love the thought of him being affectionate and clingy and I’d love to read about him with a reader that equally loves affection as much as he does. But it takes them a little while to actually open up and accept his affections, but once they do it’s just the cutest✨ thank you so much, and if not that’s alright🩷

~🦕

WAHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH that genuinely makes me so happy to hear :''')

I hope you enjoy some absolute Phantom FLUFF

My requests are open !

“Phantom! Hurry up, you're gonna miss the beginning!” 

“Oh shit” there’s a pause before you hear an “ow fuck hot!” 

You smile watching the quintessence ghoul run into the room with an absurdly large bowl of popcorn and a few drinks tucked under his arm. He sits everything down before plopping onto the couch next to you. 

“Did you remember the—“ 

“I got it right here.” His tail slithers over to you. You laugh as you take the small bag of chocolates from it, being careful not to pull on the piercings in the spade. 

He curls in under the giant blanket you brought, resting his tail on your lap just as the opening title of the movie begins. You and him have taken to weekly movie nights ever since discovering his fascination with human holidays. Halloween was creeping closer and you decided the best way to spend it this year was showing Phantom all your favorites. At first, you just showed me some old animated stuff from when you were younger, not quite sure what he’d like. Then you showed him some of the classics and he took a very big interest in those. Now, you were on to the slashers. You had skipped over Nightmare on Elm Street after the first one simply due to the fact every time something happened, he’d go off on a tangent about how ‘that’s not how dream magic works.’ 

You were now watching the Scream movies thanks to an off handed comment made by Dew that got Phantom interested. You had seen these movies countless times, but it was watching Phantom’s reactions that made it so special. Or maybe it was just Phantom in general. 

You idly play with his tail while the movie goes on, only half paying attention. You were distracted by the closeness of him. This always happened. He’d sit down at a comfortable distance and each time he thought you weren’t looking, he’d scoot just a bit closer. You knew how much he loved to be physically close with others, it was one of the things that drew you to him in the first place. It wasn’t like you hated the clingy nature of him, it just took some getting used to. You weren’t as quick to fling yourself onto him, but you really wanted to. You knew he would love it, but some part of you was worried you’d somehow make it awkward or uncomfortable. You were warming up to it, though. Every little touch from him had you feeling electric and you wanted more. 

You were now pressed shoulder to shoulder with him. He was completely enamored with the scene currently playing out, but all you could focus on was how close he was. You had to stifle a laugh at how large his eyes were. You stared at him for a bit longer before something in your brain was yelling at you, screaming to just wrap your arms around his waist and rest all your weight against him. You spend the remainder of the movie hyping yourself up to do this, but before you get the chance the credits roll. You mentally curse thinking you just wasted yet another opportunity when he turns and looks at you. 

“Can we watch the next one?” 

You smile “Absolutely. How could we leave without finishing this bowl?” 

Your eyes glance to the half eaten popcorn knowing damn well he’s going to inhale the rest without thinking. You hop up and put on the second movie. When you return to the couch you tentatively rest your head on his shoulder, sighing contentedly when he lays his head onto yours. 

Okay. Second chance. We can do this. 

You glance at him. He glances back and smiles at you, fangs poking out under his lips. 

Fuck we can’t do this. 

No. No you were going to do it. There was no reason not to. You shift a bit and he moves his head off yours to adjust his posture. You take that as the perfect opportunity to strike before you chicken out again. You slump down against him, encircling him with your arms before laying your head in his lap. There’s a moment where you’re convinced he’s going to shove you off for whatever reason, but that’s quickly stomped when you feel his hands gently card through your hair lightly scratching at your scalp. You smile hearing his tail beat against the side of the couch and a purr rumble through him. 

Somehow during the movie the positions shifted to the point where Phantom was laying flat on his back with you sprawled on top of him. You stayed like that until the credits started to play on the screen. You feel him nose your cheek.

“That was horrible.” 

“Yea the second one is never as good as the first.” You laugh as he nuzzles against your face. You try to say something about the third one but the thought is quickly interrupted by a yawn. He places a light kiss to the side of your head. 

“I’ll walk you back to your room.” 

“Actually” you say hiding your face in the crook of his neck “what if I stayed here tonight?” 

You can practically feel the excitement sparking off of him before he’s wrapping his arms around you squishing you to his chest. He laughs and peppers your face with little kisses purring wildly. When he’s finally done you bury your face right back into his neck and close your eyes, revealing in the warmth of his body and the rise and fall of his chest. 

[eeeeuuughggg]

nina the killer hcs

nina is a MASSIVE kleptomaniac. she steals whatever she can get her hands on, and is rarely caught. whenever she is, she runs like her life depends on it - heels rapidly clicking on the surface of the malls linoleum floors.

her stealing habits have led to her being a little bit of a hoarder, but nonetheless her room is still mainly clean. it's semi-messy, stolen things like stickers, accessories and shitty kmart piercings and jewellery in the corner of her room. she doesn't have enough boxes to throw them in and put under her bed. 

her LED lights are always on a hot pink, otherwise theyre flashing rainbow colours to the beat of her music. 

several band posters and just general posters of things she likes. hello kitty posters, graphic design that suitors to her taste, whatnot. 

has a flip phone that's seperate to her cellphone, and when she hangs up a call she dramatically slams it shut. 

speaking of, her phone has hundreds of stickers under and on the case. these stickers are accompanied by a cute little beaded keychain she made herself. 

she also has one of those cute little digital cameras, she goes to kmart often and when she's not stealing, she's printing out pictures to put on her wall. (she has a photo wall)

she makes lots of loomband and kandi bracelets and accessories in her free time, usually friendship bracelets to give to her friends. 

on her social media, she posts her 'borrowing' hauls. (she has a whole private story on snapchat just for her stolen goods.)

she also has a whole pinterest board dedicated to tips and tricks for stealing or other illegal things. she loves tagging, her little calling sign is a skull wearing a pink bow. 

nina is SO loud. she just talks really loud, and swears like a sailor. she'll drop something and in the midst of bending over to pick it up, she'll shout 37 curses. "oh fucking whore, dumb cunt, i dropped my fucking-"

adding on to her being loud, she's unbelievably good at singing. if you go out drinking with her, it's not uncommon that she'll beeline for the karaoke machine and unironically still sing amazingly despite the fact she's totally wasted. 

her music taste is also really good. it's not a WIDE range, but it's a range of similarity in certain ways. she's a hardcore ayesha stan, fight me. she really gives off 2010's myspace. she's a walking throwback. 

if you ever feel down about yourself, she'll TOTALLY have a girls day with you. doesn't matter your gender or anything, it's a girls day and you're not getting out of it. she'll do your makeup, you'll go shopping, get manicures together.

or, if you prefer something more quiet and cheaper, she'll doordash the two of you snacks and you're gonna watch twilight while gossiping and doing each other's nails. 

she's kind of a smoker mom.. but like, she unironically gives really good advice and takes care of you like you're her child. (that is, if she likes you.)

nina is SUCH a cat. like a hyper ass cat. u could distract her with a laser pointer and it would work.