#there's an episode that revolves around a character who doesn't want to have sex -- for goofy and convoluted sitcom reasons; but still

[astriiformes]

The Tendi and Rutherford fake dating episode really was one of the best things a TV show could do to cater to me, an aromantic person, because I generally do not like fake dating as a trope, but I do love taking tropes that are often considered romantic and applying them to characters who love each other platonically instead, and Lower Decks just did it so well.

The joke at the end of the episode where they're like "That was terrible, lets never do it again. Anyways" and then climb on top of each other in the Jeffries tube because they really are that close, just not in that way was such a perfect moment. They're inseparable best friends and also pretending to date each other was awful because it made them uncomfortable. And the joke for most of the episode isn't really that they are uncomfortable, it's that they're stuck in a weird contrived sitcom scenario and don't know how to get out of it.

Also I'm going to be thinking about the gag with Rutherford shouting "We got married at a wedding!" to the rest of the hotel lobby forever.

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

[xf-cases-solved]

S1E14: Gender Bender

Case: In what is arguably one of the most "why did you write this??" plots so far, our dynamic duo (per Mulder's request, I might add) investigate the deaths of five victims who appear to have, like... been fucked to death? Or something?

Actually I have to interrupt my own summary here, bc I just looked up the Wikipedia page (yes, bc I was trying to remember the state, shut up), and Glen Morgan is apparently quoted as saying he wanted "an episode with more of a sexy edge." How that ended up being this particular episode, I cannot say. That is an X-File in and of itself.

But I digress. People are dying of mb really high levels of pheromones caused by super mind-blowing sex. Sure. Also no one is sure if this killer is male or female. (They somehow manage to not even entertain the idea that any of the victims might have been gay, which I thought was an impressive feat of elephant avoidance.)

ANYWAY. Their investigation leads them to Massachusetts, where a bunch of sci-fi not-Amish people are chilling out doing not-Amish people things. Stuff kind of just snowballs from there. Mulder jumps down into the not-Amish people's ritual cellar with no backup and then proceeds to reprimand Scully for being reckless; Scully (for the first, but unfortunately not last time) almost bangs someone bc she is being manipulated due to some supernatural phenomenon; I laugh A LOT alone in my work office bc I had forgotten the stupid twist ending; and Nicholas Lea is a starving artist who has to take the roles he's offered if he ever wants to be bumped up to recurring character status. Sigh. Hustling the club scene used to be so simple...

Does someone die in the cold open: Yes. He is fucked to death. Or something.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: Yes! Of dead people! Who were fucked to death! Or something!

Does the evidence survive the investigation: The evidence doesn't even stay on this planet.

Whodunit: A horny alien cosplaying as a gender fluid Amish person. No, seriously.

Convictions: Zip.

Did they solve it: No. This is my very first explicit no with no qualifiers. They 1. did not figure out the cause of death definitively, 2. did not apprehend the suspect, 3. lost literally all of their evidence, and 4. the government wasn't even hiding anything this time, they just got outsmarted by some horny aliens and were left with nothing. In fact, I bet they actually know less now than when they started. Failure from top to bottom, guys, good work.

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

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***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 6 (streak ended. brutally)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, it's me" phone calls: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 5

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 4 (upped it another half point, bc i don't thiiiink the guy coercing her intended to put her life in danger. he just ("just") wanted to sexually assault her, but also apparently fucking those guys kills you, so. another toss up)

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 8 (for an episode that was meant to have a "sexy edge," it was deeply unhorny all around, even between our good good coworkers. they should have brought back that horny fire expert from episode 12 to bring up the heat, pun not intended)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 1

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 5

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2 (when i made that stat, part of me was like "mb i am misremembering how often that happens, and it won't even come up that much," and then it happened in the very next episode)

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 2 (don't touch and sniff the weird alien goo wall??? i know for a FACT you keep rubber gloves in your pocket)

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 1

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 2

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 2

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: still 0, but like, uh... definitely the closest we've come so far

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 4 ½ (yeah i couldn't even pretend that i paid attention)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 2 (i didn't need to, but i did read the wikipedia page anyway just out of pure curiosity, bc why did they write that episode? i mean like, i was entertained, which ig makes it a win, but also just... why?)

[yujeong]

Earlier I read your post on hoping to see a sex scene between Korn and Fasai so that you could compare their scene to Korn and Tonkla`s sex scenes. Now that we have seen them in my opinion there`s a clear difference. Could you tell more about your thoughts on the differences/similarities in how Korn acts around them and what it tells about these relationships. I have lots of thoughts on those scenes and it would be nice to hear how other people see and interpret these scenes.

OMG a 4 Minutes ask! How nice of you to ask me anon, thank you so much ❤️ So, Korn. What a guy. I'm so happy we got the 2 sex scenes, they give us so much info about Korn's character and what his relationship with both Tonkla and Fasai is. Now, let's start with the similarities, because there's fewer of them: - Korn doesn't initiate the sex on either occasion. Tonkla does by poking at his dick a couple of times and telling him he's "not only good at talking", as well as start kissing him all over his chest during the second round that never happened, and Fasai does by signaling to him he should... well, get on with it lol, - Korn uses nicknames to address both Tonkla and Fasai (I can't hear his words clearly, but I have a feeling he calls him Kla? Maybe that's why the subtitle breaks the name for some reason? - it's Tonkla not Ton Kla lol), meaning both relationships are intimate, - Now, I'm mostly adding this for the lols, but neither Tonkla nor Fasai enjoyed their sexual encounter with Korn. This happens for very different reasons though, which I'll explain later, - This is more of a headcanon than anything, but both relationships are transactional, even if KornTonkla doesn't seem like it is (or even FasaiKorn tbh). On to the important stuff, the differences: - In his relationship with Tonkla, Korn is the one who knows more about things he's not willing to share with him (mainly, his new shady job, though I'm sure there could be more down the line), while with Fasai, Korn is the one who's in the dark, - Korn is the one who controls everything that happens during his time with Tonkla (putting on the condom despite being asked not to + making Tonkla come, even though he was "fine not coming"), while Fasai is the one who's in complete control of the encounter with Korn, - Generally, the relationship between Korn and Tonkla seems to revolve around what Korn wants (what he wants to share, his pleasure, his schedule, his money), while the relationship between Korn and Fasai is completely controlled by her and her alone, - Since it's about Korn's pleasure, Tonkla doesn't get to enjoy the sex they have (it's over too quickly for him to come and he feels self-conscious when Korn asks him if he did + telling him he shouldn't bother helping him). The scene is very cleverly shot in a way that this isn't obvious, but I believe a re-watch and the second episode's context might help the audience see it more clearly. On the other hand, Fasai doesn't seem to be enjoying Korn eating her out, because that's not the point of the scene. It's all about power and control. She doesn't seek pleasure from Korn, she seeks his submission, - And now comes the point about both relationships being transactional: the difference, again, is about who the relationship benefits. With Tonkla, it's all about Korn - he gives him money and glimpses of affection and some of his time, for Tonkla to give back his unwavering love and... well, his body. I might seem harsh with this, but those are the vibes the scene gave me and judging by how he talked to him in ep2, I don't think I'm that far off. However, Fasai wants Korn's submission as I said, for which she helps him run his new business in return. It wasn't clear if Fasai is meant to be Korn's girlfriend or not with what little we've gotten, but I'm willing to believe that's the case - Tonkla knows about Fasai, he didn't seem surprised when Korn mentioned her to his father, so she could be what he passes as an official relationship while having Tonkla on the side, - Oh, very important detail which I shall not forget to mention: Korn wants to have sex with Tonkla, while his scene with Fasai suggested he's not doing this willingly. I'd say he's either coerced into submitting to her or it's just... work to him. Either way, key difference to the two scenes so I had to say it. I think that's all I have for now. I am deeply fascinated by all three characters and I can't wait to learn more about them ❤️ I'm sure Sammon will give us many treats involving their storylines.

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

You know, seeing fans go on about the shorts with...

"This is why the assassinations would get boring!"

Or

"How can you stretch this episode out?"

....Except they are SHORTS...they aren't suppose to be full length episodes.

Obviously a full length episode would be more detailed and have something more going for it, if one actually puts thought into said episode.

Fans wanna say

"Oh the assassinations would get boring!"

But then completely ignore the fact that other shows, which follow a similar formula of going through the same beats within each episode and are fun to watch and entertaining.

Hello...Scooby Doo? Perhaps one of the most successful franchises out there and guess what they did?

Each episode had the gang go around solving mysteries, cooked up by someone haunting a place.

To say nothing that the Grimoire is basically a free "do whatever you want" card of plot magic, which they could have done interesting things with....but that got flushed down the toilet the moment Season 2 started.

But let's put a pin in that for a moment...right...fans also wanna say that...

"Well...the show is about Blitz and his relationships and we should explore Hell!"

...

Ok so tell me then....why is it for 2 Seasons now, the only guy that Blitz has truly interacted with for any length of time and development...is Stolas? Who he has NO RELATIONSHIP with?! The two know diddly squat about one another, even within just sex according to Full Moon they know diddly squat.

Instead of you know...the other actual main characters of this show(Moxxie, Millie and Loona) and the other side characters who he had actual relationships with(Verosika, Fizz and Barbie). You know, the characters that are actually meaningful to Blitz for his own character development?

Fans also wanna say

"Well not every relationship is perfect."

HI YES...you realize that Blitz' relationships with the aforementioned characters WASN'T PERFECT either right?!

Stolas became an irrelevant character with introducing Asmodean Crystals and the fact that I.M.P. was killing in Hell(which makes S1 also pointless). Blitz had zero reason to approach Stolas in Apology Tour, other than...because the writing forced him to do so. He never had to approach Stolas ever again....but he did so. I can only imagine what sort of plot contrivance were going to get later, in order for the two to be together.

But let's just sideline all those other characters...which you could build 2 whole full Seasons around, for a character who doesn't matter anymore.

It's funny how it said to be also "exploring Hell."

But what does that even really mean, when we don't really explore Hell? All were getting into as far as 'depth' is concerned, is Stolas and that whole drama involving him.

Yeah sure, we have seen some other Rings...but honestly? That's bare minimum, we aren't actually getting into the details here....we don't really see how other Hellborn live, the worldbuilding is just shallow on the whole.

Even the Goetia is pretty shallow, because it's all having to revolve around Stolas and how 'sad' he is....it's just not anything interesting.

Also they say "explore Hell."

Yet they have a business that operates OUTSIDE of Hell? Thus taking away any sort of further exploration of Hell, when the episodes take place on Earth. Yeah that's really logical.

But circling back a moment to the whole assassination thing....

I don't think anyone's saying that they should have just stuck to assassination hijinks. What I'm seeing though, is the focus should have stuck to that as well as exploring the relationships between the I.M.P. members....was not the pitch for Helluva Boss something like...

"Join these assassins as they take out hits as well as learn to survive in Hell and eachother."

^ I'm kinda phrasing it weird, as I'm sure that's not really the case, but I'm pretty sure it's something along the lines of that with the description for the show.

But what do we really have? 3 out of the 4 main characters are just sidelined, a side character has basically become a main character and even the only original main character out of the 4, is just getting shit on and doesn't need to be around the side main character anymore in a realistic sense, but writing is forcing it.

Anyway I'll pause here, as this got really long winded.

Nah, you are right you summed up everything wrong with this series. It got lost at the beginning of season two when it showed that they started focusing on Stolas. And from there lost the premise and as a result the quality as dropped.

[theimaginatrix27]

So my brain is mostly Garashir and has been for a week.

And it only just now dropped a bodyswap plot in my lap (probably because it's one of my other favourite tropes). I'm almost sure the only bodyswap Trek episode was the one from TOS, and if there's a fic revolving around Garashir with this premise I would like a link thanks.

But how my brain imagines this roughly going is:

Sometime during canon, probably post Julian being replaced by the Changeling and subsequently retrieved (but please understand this is meant to be a light-hearted incident), there's an incident and Garak and Julian end up in each others' bodies.

And decide they will have to pretend to be each other until they can work out how to fix this, because everyone else on the station has enough to deal with, and they both have excellent memories and have been watching each other do their thing for years, it'll be fine!

Except:

Garak can get most of the mannerisms and accent down, but can't be as casual as Julian is to save his life. Also he's not a doctor.

Julian is trying his best, but his impression of Garak is painfully OTT.

Odo's suss on them immediately. Miles freaks out and thinks Julian's been Changelinged again, or something. Possibly culminating in Julian's body getting decked. Julian-in-Garak hears about this, panics, and goes to find Miles and explain.

He finds Dax first, who believes him immediately because it tracks with everything she's been hearing today. They do find Miles but he doesn't believe Julian's story, at least at first.

Garak also breaks character because concussion/the stress of being human/ill-equipped for the situation and not wanting to admit it, and the minute they're in proximity, which Dax helps arrange, the two of them start arguing. Their back-and-forth is unmistakable and Miles finally accepts the story.

Dax gets Kira and Sisko, despite both Julian and Garak's protests. Nerys finds the situation hilarious for some reason. Ben is on three hours of sleep and just looks at them, sighs, and goes, "Explain."

They explain the situation to the best of their abilities and the situation does get resolved, and does end with Garashir sex.

Optionally, the whole thing is orchestrated by the Prophets because they are sick and tired of them not admitting they're into each other. Seriously, the sexual tension is so potent they can feel it on their plane, and time is not linear. (Look I know they don't do that much interference in canon but this is a fanfic and a comedic one at that!) In this version, the plot is resolved by them doing said confession, at which point they snap back into their own bodies.

I don't have details and unless I get them, I'm not writing this, but I had to get it out of my brain 'cause I'm sleepy and didn't want to lose any bits before it was recorded.

[beevean]

I keep thinking of this interpretation of N!Hector (at the bottom). How, essentially, his growth revolved around his conception of love: how he's at his core a broken, love-starved man who had to learn how to let go out of selflessness.

They make some valid points. So I want to put together why the story still wastes a very intriguing concept and its morals are still disgusting.

Let's take N!Hector purely from this angle. His sloppy writing starts to make sense. N!Hector never warms up to Carmilla, because his last memory of Carmilla is her beating him up after she revealed that her apparent respect was a lie. Dracula is on thin ice: he was the first person who was nice to him, but he lied to N!Hector about his real plans, and most importantly, got convinced that he might have died if Dracula actually succeeded. (still doesn't stop him from wanting to resurrect him)

Lenore is "nice" to him. Lenore not only praised his voice, the strength of his character, etc., but she also has shown that she wants to be with him for no ulterior reason, and that she wants to protect him from mean Carmilla.

So N!Hector is totally fine with her. It's okay that she beat him that one time, because it was his fault (granted, an abused person might think like that...). It's okay that she made a sexual game out of taking him out with a leash: that's just how vampires are, right? It's okay that she used sex and took advantage of his feelings to put a trapping ring on him: it was with good intentions. It was for his sake. It was to protect him.

So, N!Hector falls in love with Lenore because she did everything in her power to keep him in a gilded cage, including resorting to rape by deception. Abuse is love. Selfishness is love. He, too, loves like a vampire, shown by the way he surrounded himself with pets magically compelled to be loyal to him, so the two have the same love languages.

This speaks of a profoundly ill mentality, the byproduct of a lifetime of abuse. It's a delicate topic that should be treated with the utmost respect.

exhibit a: respectful writing that truly gives trauma the gravitas it deserves.

After some more bonding over how similar Lenore and N!Hector are because no one loves them and they're just victims, they're so like each other fr fr, we get to S4E6. In a way, we can see N!Hector's actions here as a mirror to what Lenore has done to him: she used treachery to turn him into a tool and so "keeping him safe", and so he used treachery to cage her and protect her from N!Isaac destroying the entire life she built with the others. This is mercy for him. This is an act of love. Protect Lenore and stay close to her, but everyone else can die, even if it hurts her. I see the intention, I really do.

But add to this the fact that N!Hector's whole plan was for the sake of resurrecting Dracula, therefore risking another mass slaughter, for no other reason than to feel better about his mistakes, and we're starting to see a problem.

We're near the end of the show, and N!Hector hasn't grown one bit. Not morally, and not emotionally. He still has no empathy. He still loves like a vampire. He still has no self-respect. He went through unimaginable torture, and he's still the "manchild" we were supposed to laugh at in S2 - except now he's marginally cooler, I guess.

(also, is it really "love" if N!Hector genuinely thought N!Isaac would kill him and he accepted it? He didn't plan to stick around, he didn't plan to "keep" Lenore with him. So the point starts to fall apart.)

But then N!Isaac makes a speech to him about agency and the will to live, and a few episodes later, N!Hector has his "magnificent" growth. His sign of maturity is letting Lenore die. Not keeping her close, despite her being the kindest person to him (although I suppose N!Isaac will quickly replace her lol). Letting this woman, both a victim and an abuser, commit suicide on her own terms, the terms he never had, is N!Hector finally learning how to love.

All very nice and wholesome. On paper.

Lenore is forcibly made to be sympathetic in S4, to the point that it becomes blatant lying. Suddenly she has no sexual interest in N!Hector anymore, after all she did to him (and very interesting, that Lenore was only aroused when he was her prisoner - now that he has more freedom and seems to like her as a person, she doesn't care anymore). Suddenly her smug demeanour has vanished, treating him with almost real respect. Suddenly there's more focus on how alone she is, and how she and N!Hector can relate to each other and only have each other in the world. It's disingenuous, and all so that I could pity her, and believe that these two would care for each other, and be touched that N!Hector's big love gesture is allowing Lenore to find freedom from her unnatural existence, while in reality I'm just frustrated that this rapist got to find freedom from the consequences of her actions - she doesn't even feel bad for what she did, "I'm sorry for everything you went through", so much for growing to love him. It's not even framed as him being free of her, but her being free of herself, fuck that guy I guess. Hell, even her phrasing implies that the main reason she sunned herself was that she wasn't willing to live in a cage, even with Hector, basically throwing a tantrum because she didn't have power anymore. I get reading between the lines and connecting that what triggered her suicide was the realization that as a vampire she's inherently doomed to go insane with craving power, but she really painted herself in the worst light.

I can't even say that the show forgot about her previous behavior: it specifically calls out to Lenore "solving Hector's problem", but makes it a joke that is quickly brushed off. We are meant to be endeared at Lenore using sex as a tool of deception. Yeah, silly Lenore, that was awkward I guess. More seriously, Lenore neither had a solid change of heart/realization that she behaved like a monster in the name of her "good intentions", nor is she tragic enough compared to her actions - at most I can understand where part of her behavior is coming from, like her being happy to show her strength by beating N!Hector into the ground, but I don't feel sorry for her. The story had the chance to emphasize her conflict with her vampiric nature, if I was really meant to pity her hopeless existence, but it doesn't take it. So I have no reason to care about her, or think she's a good person for N!Hector. The fact that she is the kindest anyone has ever been to him doesn't mean that she is kind, just that this poor man has been spit on far too much.

And maybe N!Hector really is too broken to understand that being raped is bad. Maybe his abuser choosing to waste time around him feels like a banquet for someone as love starved as he is. But is that how he ends? Still not getting it? Still not feeling anything about the way he has been treated all this life? Is he really completely not conflicted about the two-faced way Lenore treated him?

And what about his relationship with humanity? Is writing a book about his mistakes really the best he can do? N!Isaac realized off screen that he wants to change the world for the better: what is, effectively, N!Hector's change in this aspect? Sure, maybe he won't keep resurrected pets anymore, but after jotting down how much he has fucked up in life, what does he want to do? What was his journey, made of nothing but suffering and mockery and the lesson "you are stupid for trusting", for?

If I am to read N!Hector as a victim of deep abuse, so damaging that he has lost all sorts of empathy, morals and self-worth... what is, then, the story told through him? He doesn't get better. He doesn't even get worse, in the same way Isaac did, for example - I proposed an ending where he snaps and sets the castle on fire as a bookend with his abusive childhood, which would have been tragic, but ofc it didn't happen. The climax of his journey is that he holds no resentment towards a woman who was both kind and cruel to him, and simply chose to forgive all the bad that was done to him without any struggle. He accepted the crumbs and lapped the plate.

The message: forgive the people who hurt you, if they think they are only helping you - in fact, don't even think about it. Not because it's unhealthy to let yourself be consumed by resentment. Because if they hurt you for your own good, then they are good people deep down.

Steven Universe became the internet's laughing stock for far less.

(it's not even that Lenore was his mother, or his long-time wife, someone that could be genuinely hard to distance yourself from if they abuse you. They knew each other for maybe two months.)

I cannot empathize with N!Hector, and I can't even sympathize with him, because this is not a character arc, this is a slop job. I don't think Lenore is so nice because she deigns to speak to him, and I don't think her wanting to protect N!Hector can make up for her disgusting behavior in S3. I have no reason to be happy that N!Hector is "free", because he's in the same position he started from in S2: cooped up in a castle, uninterested in getting closer with humankind, alone. And I have no reason to be sad that Lenore killed herself, because the story did a poor job of convincing me that she deserved to be happy with the man she treated like a pet before her character was disingenuously defanged.

I can assure you: Ellis did not have any intention of writing a story about how abuse warps your conception of love. He just liked kicking around a ball in the shape of a character, and then gave him a rushed "good" ending (that still feels bittersweet compared to all others) because of backlash. Trying to see a coherent arc here is like trying to squint to see an image on a magic eye poster, and the effort is not worth it. N!Hector deserved better, and abuse survivors deserve to be represented by characters written with love, not spite.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Wake Me Most Wickedly by Felicia Grossman

4/5. 4/9/2024.

Vibes: older woman/younger man, Snow White retelling, Jewish historical romance

Heat Index: 6.5/10.

Sol Weiss is looking to live up to the example (and expectations) set by the half-brother who raised him--and that means marrying the right woman. The right woman is NOT Hannah, with a shady past and a shadier lineage. But after she rescues Sol from an attack, he can't get her out of his head. And the more she tries to stay away, the more he wants her...

If you're looking for something light and fun--though not at all silly--with a good dose of interclass conflict and a rough around the edges heroine, this is for you. It's not often that we see heroines who are a) older than their heroes, which Hannah is and b) the more "dangerous" one (in theory) in the couple. At the same time--though Sol is funny and sweet, he's not a milquetoast. Seriously, how could he be with Hannah if he was?

It's like... a feel-good book, but not without stakes. Which is what I think Felicia Grossman is starting to specialize in. With, of course, a strong focus on the 19th century Jewish community in England, which--how often do you see that in romance, despite it being a huge part of the era.

Quick Takes:

--You often do see heroines who have a bit of an edge, but it's less often that you see them actually do things that make them seem more worldly and, dare I say, competent than the hero. Hannah is introduced here as someone who has a lot of responsibilities, doesn't shy away from her sexuality (but also, you get the sense, has never really had someone truly care about her needs), and isn't above committing crimes.

And then... she saves Sol. It's not that Sol isn't competent--more that he doesn't have as much life experience as Hannah. Which tracks, as he's literally younger than her and also comes from a more sheltered background. But I wouldn't say he's spoiled. He's willing to learn. He's eager to learn, really (in every way... yay, a hero who's less experienced in bed than the heroine!).

Sol is a good dude, but as I said before, he's not a boring dude. He wants to do the right thing, but Hannah quickly becomes his priority. Also, he does crochet at one point, and I did find that delightful.

--To be clear, I am not Jewish, and my understanding of Jewish customs and history is superficial at best. But it's clear that Grossman has done her research regarding the era, and I really appreciate that her characters' identities are woven in to the fabric of their beings. Like, there isn't a Very Special Episode Where We're Reminded That The Characters Are Jewish (which I've seen happen when writers who aren't Jewish write characters that are). It's just always there.

--One thing I really liked as Sol and Hannah's relationship progressed was the way that he clearly started to take care of her. I love an independent heroine who takes care of people (Hannah does not have a kid, phew, but she does have a sister she's trying to set up for a better life) and resists the hero trying to care for her. That's done really well here. Sol is like, mildly outraged that this woman doesn't have people looking out for her, and it's very sweet.

--This is a Snow White retelling! There are nods to elements like the Seven Dwarves. I don't know that I would call this a particularly heavy retelling, and I'm not sure that the retelling element was super necessary? But it was cute.

The Sex:

There are several sex scenes in this one, all of which are good, and they usually revolve around Hannah's pleasure. Sol is not super experienced, but he's READY to jump in, and it's really great. In fact, their entire sexual relationship (which begins before the halfway mark, thank God) begins with him basically going "let me help you RELAX" which. Gold. He's a GOOD boy.

For the fans of a face-sitting scene.... There is a great one in this book wherein she is shocked! Shocked I say! And he basically goes "hold on to the bed frame I'm working here".

Anyway, this is a super fun, fluffy-but-not-TOO-fluffy read that gives you something beyond the typical hero/heroine dynamic (which I still love) along with a solid dose of heat. It's for the girlies (and not-girlies) who just want to go home after a long day's work and have our shoulders massaged, and also perhaps other things too. We love to see it.

Thanks to NetGalley and Forever for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Preorder here:

Amazon

B&N

Bookshop.org

[variousqueerthings]

The Girl Who Waited... or hold your horses we are about to have probably the highest rated episode of the seaaaaason

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 10/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 10/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 9/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 8/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 10/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 9/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 6/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 10/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 7/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 7/10

FULL RATING: 86/100 (if I can count….)

WELL OKAY THOSE ARE SOME RATINGS!

OBJECTIFICATION: BOOM! SOLID! NOTHING! IN FACT AMY IS IN HER... 50s? I can't count. She's been there for 36 years. and like yeah, she's maybe unrealistically slim, buuuut they gave her this neat hodge-podge armor that she made which bulks her out and the rest is like, Karen Gillen has slim arms, it's fine, and they did actually age up her face so she does look older and not like A M*ffat Fantasy older either

and younger Amy is also chill in this one, she's just vibing... well, she's not vibing, she's having a terrible time. but see beloooow on how that episode goes about writing her terrible time

PLOT-POINT: aaaand fuckn! winner *dings bell* it's all about herrrrr it's about her abandonment, it's about her relationship with Rory, it's about her ability to survive on her own and what it could do to her as a person, it's about the shit introduced on Day Flipping One (first episode)

and it does it well! scenes that in days of yore might have cut from Amy to centre on Rory and the Doctor (am reminded of her grief over Rory being erased from existence being undercut by the camera focusing on the Doctor, or about everything related to her with her pregnancy and Demon's Run)

this is the definitive Amy Exploration and while I've said I'm not the biggest Karen Gillen fan in the past, I think she was good in this! she has this kind of weariness to her, a bluntness, an awkwardness in the way she speaks and holds herself, the script and the makeup give her so much to do that doesn't mean she has to be attractive all the time, and it's so good for her ability Do Shit

COMPLEXITY: it sets up a neat Sci Fi concept in order to explore a very human relationship! the best kind of science fiction. like. no notes here, onwards

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: arghhhhhhhhhhh everything I want

Amy and Rory explore their relationship on multiple levels, finally giving me a proper episode of Amy's feelings for Rory and not just little moments? check

an episode in which Rory and Amy challenge the Doctor in how he treats people and his morality, specifically in how it also affects his relationship to them, and what that does to them (and also changes them)?

an episode in which Amy gets to say fuck you to the Doctor?

"I don’t care that you got old, I care that we didn’t grow old together"

Amy facing herself???!!!!!!!!!! oh yeah good stufffffffff

COMPANIONS MATTER: this one sidelines the Doctor for the companions! it's all about them, they make the choices, they drive the plot, the Doctor is there to do a bit of science and facilitate the story for and about them!

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: see above point! such a good choice to put him in the Tardis and not have him present when Amy makes her choices (also because she might have just killed him lol)

the one Part where he takes control is the tragedy at the end, and he gets pushback for it, it's not a brilliant solve for everything that everyone claps at him for, it's a sad simple necessity that's got a streak of pragmatic cruelty in it and echoes back on his relationship with Amy, and while young!Amy doesn't get to react too much to that, I think it's fine, because older!Amy does and says goodbye to Rory and young!Amy would never quiiite get that emotion I think, simply because she didn't live it

she was a bit antagonist with her older self, but not being too weird about her being onboard, but I imagine there's a small part of her that might be partly relieved or slightly discount older!Amy because she no longer exists

the one thing perhaps is that we won't know what they told her, and because this show has depicted Amy being kept out of the loop "for her sake" before, it's not like... 100% unreasonable to imagine the Doctor and Rory might pretty up the story again

but not knowing how that goes down is fine. it's a little mystery at the end of the episode

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: there's not much of that in here and tbh I don't think there has to be. it's about Amy, not the Doctor's past

“SEXINESS”: FUCKING! THREE FOR THREE!!! ULTIMATE EPISODE GIVE IT A PRIZE!!!!!!

INTERNAL WORLD: it's pretty cool, kept reeeelatively simple so it could be explained in the first few minutes, built upon slightly, but ultimately remaining quite tight so that the focus could be Amy's hideout on this strange little world where everyone died once

POLITICS: not much politics in this one, so we refer back to how it treats its female companion and it's the gold star winner of the whole thing

FULL RATING: 86/100 (if I can count….)

Highest! Rated! Episode!

and who knows if it'll get beat, we shall seeeee

I mean, what can I say, Amy is a fully rounded character who's running the show and her relationship with Rory is explored, and the Doctor is having some fucked up morality, and it's got neat pacing!

it hasn't got anything that's actually "low" it's mainly just that not every episode needs to refer back to classic!who or have big political messaging, it was pretty fucking Solid!

one thing I would say that wasn't covered in the Rating is that I'm not vibing with this title. I understand where it's coming from (referencing back to kid Amy), but I think while it is examining that childhood anxiety, Amy is simply... not a girl. and in the grand *waves hands* everything of M*ffat, he really likes titles with "girl" in them, which is I imagine therefore not this writer's choice

Girl in the fireplace -- okay, it's the first time, it's fine The Girl Who Waited -- ehhh not a fan, but I guess Amy was a girl who waited, it's a bit reductive for the episode The Impossible Girl -- oh, come on this is silly, it's flattening out the whole character into a plot device The Girl Who Died -- *shakes fist* M*ffaaaaat stop!

But yeah. Episode! Fuckn Happening!

[marley-manson]

2, 6, and 10 for the MASH asks

Thank you!

2 . what’s a detail that you would consider insignificant but you like ?

Okay idk where this falls on the insignificance scale but it's not super important, it's just a good touch, so: the way Mr. Kwang is an OR extra in a bunch of season 3 episodes until he gets a subplot in Love and Marriage. Early Mash especially doesn't usually put much care into continuity so I liked this.

6 . who’s your favorite nurse ?

I'm saying Margaret doesn't count here or she'd win easily. So I'm gonna go with nurse Gaynor in The Nurses, because I feel like she's the only woman ever on the show aside from Margaret to get a non-gendered non-romantic subplot about how much living in a war zone sucks, and I loved to see it and wish we could've seen it more. She's an emotionally closed-off alcoholic because she sees too much death on a daily basis! That's the kind of character writing I want to see when it comes to women!

10 . least favorite storyline involving your favorite ( or one of your favorites ) ?

Toss up between Who Knew and Commander Pierce.

Who Knew sucks for recharacterizing Hawkeye as emotionally reticent and deflective, something absolutely mind-bogglingly obviously in contradiction to Hawkeye in every other dramatic episode he's ever been in, and in contradiction to how he's handled actual romantic relationships, and the reasons he doesn't engage emotionally with every nurse he fucks.

In Who Knew he suggests that he's scared of committment which is why he only has casual sex with the nurses, which is stupid because we've previously seen somewhere between three and five women he was down to commit to (Erika, Carlye, Kyung Soon, plus arguably Inga and Kellye if his pathetic ending in the latter ep was a willingness to date her and not just an offer for a pity fuck) and the actual thematic reason he has a lot of casual sex is because war is hell and sex is a distraction. He has previously expressed his distaste for the nurses as people because they're army volunteers a few times (eg "a woman out of any uniform" is his answer to the question of what he misses in The Interview, and he disparagingly refers to Erika's status as a lieutenant while hitting on her in Radar's Report), which is another explanation for why he doesn't want to marry them. And he also just likes to have casual sex in keeping with the show's relationship to the counter culture movement, something that was written in a positive way for the first half or so of the show (for better or worse.)

Who Knew is a total rewrite and recontextualization of all of that, and it's done badly, and I hate it. Also on top of that it revolves around invading the privacy of a woman who accidentally walked into a landmine because she was mooning over Hawkeye, which is such a godawful episode premise I can't handle it lol. If the goal was even partially to recontextualize the womanizing as a character flaw for feminist reasons, and it probably was, then woof. I'll take the womanizing over that, thanks.

And Commander Pierce sucks because it exists solely to finger-wag at the anti-authority attitude of the first half of the show and call Hawkeye a hypocrite. It contradicts Hawkeye in Carry On Hawkeye and Officer of the Day, it presents Hawkeye with a situation he's handled with grace in the past before (being in charge of a shorthanded OR) instead of even bothering to put him out of his comfort zone to try to justify his reaction, and it makes Hawkeye suddenly care about military rules just because he's stressed out, which is absurd to the point of self-parody.

It's easy to imagine Hawkeye as a bad leader under pressure lol (though not in the OR imo but sure, in a military context) but certainly not the kind of bad leader who barks out military commands and calls his friends by their last names and sulks about having his authority undermined for an entire day. It's pure bad pro-military writing that gives the impression of being embarrassed about earlier (superior) Mash tbh and it sucks.

ask meme

[itsclydebitches]

I'm not the same anon but I do think that keeley repeatedly saying "we're just friends" for an entire episode only for people to completely ignore her words the moment roy says he wants something more is... fucked up, to say the least

I wad afraid of speaking up because I thought I was the only one that saw it lol

I too looked at her expression, the way she says "roy...", how fast she lets go of his hand and how cheery she is towards jamie, how even roy notices and focuses on her letting go of his hand so fast (because viewers are meant to notice it as well!)

But people just went "omg she touched his hand! who cares that she spent an entire episode saying she wants him as a friend and looks almost panicked at that moment! she clearly wants to jump back in a romantic relationship with him!"

I felt crazy lol but now I feel validated

The show tried to show a strong and independent keeley... only for her to enter yet another relationship and end up needing rebecca's financial help again.

A huge issue I have with the show is that keeley's story in each season revolves around her romantic relationships. And people eat it up because "uwu ships!"

I think that in a show that gave us such badass female characters like rebecca, sassy, nora, sharon, etc., what they did to keeley in season 3 is a shame and a disservice to her character

Season 3 was perfect to show her as the strong, independent woman keeley proclaims herself to be in season 1

She could have brought some of that "Lasso effect" to her new office, become a badass boss and entrepreneur

Instead once again her story revolves around her romantic interests, she loses the firm, is betrayed by a close friend, and has fan fave roy pressure her to get back with him as soon as she's out of an abusive relationship

The only true moment of brilliance I saw from her was in 3x08 when her pics and videos were leaked and she refused to make a public apology and stood her ground (roy's behavior was quite abysmal right there btw)

It's true that this doesn't feel like a "last season of the series" storyline for keeley

It's looks like a really good setup for a spinoff, maybe?

I really hope she ends season 3 as a happy single woman focused of rebuilding her career

Woo feeling validated in fandom interpretations! I know that feeling oh so well lol

As said, I need to give the last episode a re-watch, especially since I personally haven’t come across anyone making light of Keeley’s apparent discomfort. Which isn’t to say that those posts don’t exist, just that they haven’t made their way to my pocket of the fandom and thus I’m not really in a position to comment on their validity (or lack thereof).

However, I do disagree with the take that Keeley being in relationships this season is a “disservice” to her character. Honestly, I think both you and the previous anon are coming from a rather narrow idea of what a “strong independent woman” looks like. It’s an incredibly understandable viewpoint given media history -- wherein woman are written primarily as sex objects and/or fridged lovers for man pain -- but in this case I think those expectations are blinding fans to Keeley’s canonical complexity.

As an important reminder to readers in general, Season 3 did not suddenly arrive with romance plotlines that derailed Keeley’s otherwise good writing. Romance and sexuality are baked into her core characterization, right from Episode One. So yes, if you're not at all a fan of that characterization then Keeley is never going to work well for you. Which implies then that the issue has less to do with tweaking Keeley's plot and more the desire for a totally different character. Because this is a woman who prioritizes sex and her romantic interests. She is introduced as being (sexually) intimidated by Rebecca, talking about how hot she is, how she’s totally thought about the two of them together, and praising her topless photos. Keeley consistently dresses in outfits that ping-pong between traditionally sexy and coy, schoolgirl looks. She’s dating Jamie at the show’s start, talks about how she wants more than to just keep dating hot footballers younger than her, and then finds that "more" by a) becoming Rebecca’s pseudo-protege and b) dating the older, mature Roy whose football career is coming to a close. But the point is that Keeley has always been sexual, has always been interested in romance, and has (nearly) always been after Roy in particular. Season One is peppered with that attraction, from her impressed “Holy shit” when he headbutts Colin, to making fun of him while he stands outside in the parking lot without his shirt.

Continuing this trend of Keeley being interested in sex/romance in Season Three is only a problem if we think it’s inherently bad for that to be a primary focus in her life... and I don’t think it is. Because otherwise the only issue would be if Ted Lasso wasn't capable of writing women except as arm candy for men... and the show quite obviously is. Keeley’s sexuality becomes a unique characteristic of her personality precisely because the other women are written as having their own, differing priorities and interests: Rebecca is the high-powered woman whose divorce is a symbol of freedom, Nora is still young and has other things on her mind, Sally likes casual sex but isn’t looking for a relationship (at least not with Ted), Sharon is a no-nonsense professional who has a split-second scene with a new boyfriend, Mae has no romantic prospects at all, etc. Personally, I find it to be a reductive reading to take a woman who has been shown as a romance-focused, sex-positive individual from day one, who has ALSO achieved so much outside of those interests, and then claim that because romance remains a priority in her life she’s not strong/independent. Really, how much does a woman have to achieve before she’s “allowed” to be written as putting relationships first? This is the Feminism 101 reminder that if you give women the means to be anything they want... a lot of them will want to be wives, mothers, hookers, secretaries, etc.

More to the point, Keeley does achieve a lot this season. You say that you wish Keeley had become a badass boss and entrepreneur... but she is. She was those things last season too. She runs a company and had a plot wherein she learned how to be a better boss after hiring her friend turned out to be a mistake (an arc that I think parallels Ted figuring out how to bench Roy). She's literally a boss and literally a badass, so what else does she need to do on screen to convey that? You say that Roy “pressured” her to get back with him, but he doesn’t. He intends to leave a letter while she’s away and Keeley surprises him. Keeley asks him to read it aloud. Keeley calls him back when Roy starts walking away. That’s all a moment of agency on her part and I don’t think we should deny her that just because we’re used to women being pressured into relationships in other stories/real life. That doesn’t mean that’s what’s happening here. Yes, Roy really stepped in it when he asked Keeley who the video was for, but that’s the entire point of the scene. He fucks up, immediately realizes he fucked up, and Keeley walks away knowing that she doesn’t owe him an answer. That’s a scene written for Keeley, not for Roy, and it’s not evidence that he’s inherently bad for her. It’s only evidence that people make mistakes and should be forgiven when they try to make amends -- Ted Lasso’s bread and butter.

You say you wished Keeley had brought the Lasso Way to her firm, but she does. Granted, it’s by no means as extensive as Ted’s achievement, but why would we expect it to be when Keeley isn’t the show’s main character? (Nor is she Ted.) What else is her relationship with Barbara though if not a miniature version of what Ted has done with the team? Here’s a standoffish, isolated individual who doesn’t feel like a part of the group. Now let’s humanize her with snow globes. Now let’s have her warming to Keeley over a series of small but significant interactions. Now let’s have the emotional conclusion where Keeley demonstrates that she’s paying attention to her interests (collecting), is willing to accommodate her quirks (I need to pay you), and the end result is Barbara returning because where else would she want to work after all that kindness? This is shown on an even smaller scale with the awkward guy in the office who explicitly tells Keeley that she’s the nicest boss he’s ever had. Again, there aren’t episodes worth of this development, but I think that speaks more to these being side-characters in a B-Plot than it does Keeley’s supposed failure.

Yes, she receives help from Rebecca at the end... but she was receiving help from Jack before. Keeley is not (yet) in a position to stand completely on her own with the firm and even if she was, why would she want to? That’s not Ted Lasso’s approach. The victory here is in having her best friend supporting her when, as Rebecca points out, that help amounts to chump-change for her (seriously, she was casually buying a horse last episode. She can afford this), rather than being beholden to a stranger/abusive-ex. And you say that Keeley’s only true moment of brilliance is when she stands her ground regarding the video... which is a plot-line that revolves around her sexuality. That just emphasizes that, as said, sex and romance has been a key part of Keeley’s story since the start and just because some shows navigate that in a demeaning, insulting way doesn’t mean that’s inherently the case. As demonstrated, having the woman make a sex vid that gets leaked can lead to a fantastic, empowering plot.

Idk I obviously have a lot of thoughts about this, but primarily I’m uncomfortable with this generalized takeaway that Story About Women Having Relationships = Them Being Weak/It's Bad Writing. Especially when Keeley’s romance this season was queer. That representation, to my mind, outweighs any potential harm of getting another romance-focused plotline for a woman. But I don’t see it as inherently harmful? This is all a core part of Keeley’s character, so if fans dislike it... they just dislike Keeley. There's nothing wrong with that, but this is the woman who loves masturbating to a video of her boyfriend crying and was dead-set on a super sexy Christmas until Phoebe needed her help. Sex and romance are key parts of who Keeley is, without those things solely defining her. Plus, notably, the rest of the cast has been focused on romance too. Ted is out there hiring private investigators over Michelle’s potential engagement. Rebecca has an (emotionally) hot night with the boat dude and is still coming to terms with everything surrounding Rupert. Sam is still clearly pining for her at least a little. Beard remains immersed in his own abusive relationship. Colin wants nothing more than to be able to kiss his fellow after a game. Even Trent, if read subtextually, has upended his entire LIFE out of a love of Ted.

And of course Roy, when not doing generic football things, has spent the whole season likewise thinking about Keeley: here’s the hilarious moment when everyone reacts to their breakup (a scene that heavily sells their Happily Ever After for the viewer. If the entire cast is reacting with this much horror and shock, you’re supposed to want them together). Here he is talking to Jamie about her dating someone else. Here he is putting his foot in it because of jealousy. Here’s the love letter. Roy’s characterization this season has revolved around Keeley just as much as Keeley’s has revolved around him and Jack. So even if Keeley didn’t have a unique history and characterization surrounding her romances, it doesn’t feel fair to say she’s somehow being done a disservice when the whole cast is grappling with various, romance-focused conflicts. Ted Lasso is a story about love in all its forms and I for one am pretty damn happy with how they’ve written Keeley's brand of love. The show said that you can be a boss ass bitch AND sexually active AND prioritizing finding the love of your life; you don’t have to choose. So I’m a little protective when fans frame it like Keeley does, in fact, have to choose. If she’s in romances than she’s no longer independent and strong and powerful... which simply isn’t true.

That narrow perspective is, I think, potentially more of a problem than fans who ship her with Roy when, clearly, the show wants you to ship her with Roy. That’s their B-Plot since day one. That’s what Ted faints over and Beards screams out a disbelieving “What?!” The characters ship it too. Are there structural problems in media where women are frequently denied agency and are reduced solely to a man’s love interest? Yeah, but we need to read the room a bit too. I think acting like fans are bad for prioritizing their relationship in a show that has consistently prioritized their relationship is a bit like walking into that Rom-Com and going, “Ugh, can you believe the woman is falling for another man? That’s all women do in stories anymore! She’s just pining after and flirting with and eventually marrying this guy, it's so sad." Like... it's a romance. Sure, we can unpack how this characterization feeds into other stories and even the prevalence of the genre itself, but that doesn't erase the fact that this is a romance and having a character fall in love is the entire point. Keeley is likewise a romance-focused character with a romantic subplot who also does a lot of other, cool, non-romance things throughout the show. That’s been Ted Lasso’s genre/vibe since the start, so wanting something different is an individual preference, not a failure of the story. No one has to like Keeley or what they're doing with her, obviously, but in this case the show has not promised something it didn't deliver on.

[alloveydovey]

dramas of the month! Dry month lol

Liar, 2022 (jdrama) 7

FL works at a company and kinda dislikes her coworker (ML). In a coming and going, they both end up developing feelings for one another, but ML is set to get engaged with someone else, and he doesn't seem to be able to get out of that.

So this was interesting. Cheating and miscommunication are the main issues here. Both FL and ML have feelings for one another, but trying to play it cool and test the other out, they end up making it all about sex. I low key started watching expecting to turn it off after two episodes, but being short both in number of eps and duration of them, it goes fast. I have some cons, maybe not that important to stop me from binging, but the main ones were probably the constant time jumps and the random story with Furukawa Yuki.

Like Flowers in Sand, 2023 (kdrama) 8

There’s a murder in a small town that revolves around a local ssireum team. Struggling to find success, a former prodigy is about to quit until he reencounters a childhood friend who reignites his passion.

I was actually extremely excited about this one back in December. I loved Lee Joo Myung in 2521, and Jang Dong Yoon ate with Daily Dose of Sunshine and My Man is Cupid. Plus this drama looked just like my cup of tea.

It’s good, but the murder mystery once again kinda bored me. ML takes all the flowers here. Jang Dong Yoon was amazing and the main reason I kept watching. The sports scenes were 10/10. The romance a bit meh, but overall, okay. All in all, it was a good drama and really soft as well, with really cute characters, but yeah, nothing out of the world.

The Heirs, 2013 (kdrama) 8

The “bastard” second son of a rich family meets a girl in the US who ends up being his family's housekeeper's daughter back in Korea. He obvs falls for her.

I never had an interest in watching this one because it just seemed like an updated version of BoF with Lee Min Ho playing the exact same character. Well, it’s kinda like that but a little lighter. It was the great cast that ended up convincing me.

It was overall okay, I guess? It feels like the type of drama they put all their cards in (amazing cast, big houses, great OST, extremely dramatic moments), but for some reason, I can’t put my finger on what, I feel like it was missing something. Aside from the toxicity, the bullying, the rolling-my-eyes-for-the-200th-time, I don’t know if it was a lack of chemistry, too much drama, or what, but yeah, it was just okay for me. At the same time, I feel like if I had watched this at 15, I would have eaten it up, lol. Krystal steals the show here for me.

Moon in the Day, 2023 (kdrama) 8

A famous celebrity suffers an accident and wakes up possessed by an ancient nobleman who seeks revenge for his past life. The victim is the firefighter who saved the celebrity’s life.

From all the past life dramas that aired in the second half of 2023, this was probably the one I was actually hyped up for. Because of the amazing poster it had and the promising leads. Then I watched all those dramas before this one, and another past-life-lovers story seemed like a nightmare.

With this I think I might be a little more strict. Whereas the others used the past life thing without really needing to (A Good Day to be a Dog?? My Demon kinda), this drama is about past lives. That’s the main story, basically. The first episode blew me away. The past has an 11/10 plot, with her wanting to kill him for revenge but then falling in love. A whole drama about that would have been 👌🏽. It’s the present that I had issues with. It was like something was lost there. The storyline in contemporary times is all over the place. I know this is based on a webtoon, but I would have instead enjoyed Kim Young Dae playing another silly actor and falling for a no-bullshit firefighter than him playing this vindictive spirit. It could have been handled better I think. The whole nobleman stuck in the body of an idol/actor situation could have given them a lot of interesting scenes (funny ones, probably), but it just ended up being never-ending awkward intensity. It’s tolerable because the main leads are good actors. Still… I was waiting for a lot more of this drama.

[piethemoon]

In defense of Abby Clark

I've been watching 911 for 3 years now, but I've always kept to myself and haven't interacted with a lot of people from the fandom. This changed recently because of my excitement for canon bisexual Buck (and the very real chance of canon Buddie) and my for you page on Twitter is now full of tweets about 911. It made me realize how many people hate Abby, to the point of sometimes advising people on skipping season 1 entirely (which I don't get because why would you willingly miss an entire season, especially one that set most of the characters and their relationships with each other?).

I think it's totally fine to dislike her but sadly, some people seems to need to twist the reality in order to look good while doing it.

As of today, I have watched the entire first season again (and the first few episodes of season 2) and thought I'd question some stuff that are presented as facts to new fans :

She was abusive/toxic toward Buck:

Where ? Like, really guys.. Where ?

First of all, I think some people are turned off by the age gap. Nothing wrong with having your own preferences. But there's no reason to make it into something it's not. Nothing in the show even hint that Abby targets younger men. There's also no scene where she tries to use his age against him. When we can hear her thoughts about him, she's never thinking about him in a predatory way and while she does seems to be a bit self conscious about her age, that's it. It's not even an important part of the plot.

Also, you know. Relationships with a big age gap between two (or more) consenting adults aren't inherently harmful, especially when the characters are fictionnal. Buck is absolutely not "too young" to date her. He's an adult man who's considered adult enough by people around him to take decisions about people's lives every day.

Sure, the way she gets his number is very questionnable, but she tells him the truth very openly. I think it's one of the many times in the show where the characters are shown being unprofessional and we're supposed to suspend our beliefs about it.

Also, if you consider this preying on Buck, do you realize the amount of women he has preyed on by using his status as firefighters? We know he dated or had sex with women he saved before, which is pretty creepy when you keep in mind that it means they might feel like they owe him a date (or more). And yet we all know his intentions are absolutely not to manipulate them into anything. So why is it so difficult to also assume Abby's intentions were absolutely not to prey on him? She seems to be happy to see someone in their work field recognize her skills, and feel like she understands him. She seems to just wants to connect with him, whether you interpret it as a romantic interest from the beginning or not.

She went away to Dubling at a key point of their relationship :

That's because she's a well written character, who's personnality doesn't revolve around her romantic relationship! That's a good thing! She's a normal woman, who spend years taking care of her mom, pretty much on her own for the most part, and she not only watched her mom's state worsen, but she also watched her suffer and loose her sense of self. And it's so tragic that her mom dying is the only thing that can truly make her free. She seems to have given up many things (including a relationship) to care for her mom.

Obviously leaving to go to Dublin wasn't the best thing to do for her relationship but to be fair, she certainly seems adamant that she's going to come back. Also, I think it's good writing! This is a woman who's far more than her romantic relationship, who lost her mom and who's realizing she doesn't know herself. It's only natural that a person like her, with self respect and a lot of life experiences would understand the importance of some selfishness, especially because she's been selfless for so long. Her mom sacrificied many things and she doesn't want to do the same!

She ghosted Buck

Well, actually... She didn't? I actually remembered that too since it's often presented as fact by some fans but she seems to have broken up with him in a way that is obvious enough that (at least) Chimney realizes. I'm not saying it was well done, of course and she probably should have been a thousand times clearer but it does seems she tried to end things. We can't be a hundred percent sure of what was said between them so it's difficult to know if part of it isn't also Buck not having the experience of a serious relationship ending/being a little bit in denial. But interestingly, certain fans seems to think it's completely her responsability.

We can assume she might have been a bit careless with it, but again, I think it makes sense for her character, who cared for her mom & her job so much that maybe she's becoming a lot more selfish now.

But no matter what you think about it.. This is absolutely not the proof of a toxic or abuse relationship. It doesn't erase the actual happy moments they shared together, the way they both improved through that relationship and it's literally the only time she messed up in their relationship, that was obviously about to end anyway. And if you can forgive/understand Buck for cheating on Taylor.. Why can't you at least not rewrite their actual relationship?

She didn't trust Buck when he was accused of being a cheater:

Again, she's not written as one dimensional character who's existence only rely on her romantic interest. Sure, she trusts Buck (and she does end up believing him) but it's understandable that, while she's going through the first stage of grief, she might not have the patience or energy to listen to her boyfriend defend himself in the very public place where everyone saw him being accused of cheating on you. It was very brief and she wasn't even mean about it. Come on.

Athena hates her:

I see people making edits of out of context moments to try and say that Athena (and the others) always disliked Abby.

To be honest, that one feels a bit sexist. So because Athena is not jumping to hug her it means she hates her? Female characters (and real women) can be not super close without hating each other. Honestly, they both don't look like they really care about the other, and that's all. And that's really not a big deal.

And I think it's the same for the other characters. Bobby seems to respect her a lot and actually helps Buck improve his relationship with her. The other characters don't seems to care for Abby and it's not like they really interact with each other anyway.

Conclusion :

Basically, I wish people would just say they don't like her instead of using moral reasons to make themselves look good for disliking her. And I would also add.. I've seen some of those people says they want complex female characters. Are you sure this is what you want or do you just want female characters who are easily disposable when they're not needed for your favorite male character? (it's not a judgement, I just think people should be honest about that)

And personnally.. I kind of like her. She's always very tired and we don't necessarily see the best moments of her life but I think that's the point of her story in the show. And I'm so glad 911 gave us so many women who are in their 40s or older (Athena, Hen, Karen, Abby...) and who are living full and rich lives. It's so very refreshing and I love that they never tried to make Abby look younger. She has wrinkles! She never tried to convince herself or other people that she was young! It's not even something she really cares about!

And I do think that, as much as she messed up in the end, she was a very good influence for Buck, and it's pretty sad to deny that part of his story. Her age actually helped with that because her life experience means she wasn't too impressed with him and was able to stand her ground which I think Buck liked. She challenged him! It helped him see that he is able to have a serious relationship (which I hope will be used for Buddie hehe) It's pretty great imo and I'm glad she was a part of the show.

[lollytea]

miss lolly i never thought id say these words but. i want the young sheldon spoilers (if nothing else id expect fucking ATOMIC retconning/continuity issues)

So the whole point of this show was to wring all the comedy potential out of the premise of taking Sheldon and making him an 8 year old prodigy attending highschool in 1980s Texas. Unfortunately they forgot to add the comedy part. But. Yknow. It was standard television. I always get annoyed when I see people trashing on young sheldon when I know they've never actually watched it because they're not trashing it for the right reasons. Its not bad for the reasons you'd expect. Its bad because its boring. It is so SO boring. Its insane how boring and mundane it is. Its a show revolving around baby bazinga but they managed to make it so mild numbingly underwhelming.

But....I would say that the first few seasons were probably the strongest. it was never particularly outlandish. Just basic slice-of-life stuff yknow? Every episode just revolved around Sheldon having some miniscule problem and blowing it way out of proportion. His family were mostly supporting characters, written for the sake of dealing with how eccentric Sheldon is. He's got an overly religious mom, a surprisingly level-headed dad, a snarky grandma, a dumbass teenage brother and a sassy twin sister.

This was the era of it being Sheldon's world and we're all living in it.

However it is currently 6 seasons in and here's a run-down of what's currently happening.

So during season 4 (or maybe 5 I have forgotten the order of events) the family begins financially struggling, which is only made worse when Dad gets fired from his job. I think there was this gradual build of tension between Mom and Dad across the season until they eventually blow up at each other in a big nasty fight and Dad admits that he's deeply unsatisfied with the way his life has turned out, including his marriage and family. Then he storms off to the bar where he starts drinking with his recently divorced female next door neighbour.

The season ends on a cliffhanger to lead the audience to believe he's gonna cheat on his wife. He doesn't. But he and ms neighbour both consider it. Which leads to the most insufferable plot point that they refuse to let go of for two more seasons, so he's probably gonna sleep with her eventually. He feels guilty for considering it. She does too. Which leads to them avoiding each other, having secret little rendezvous where they talk about how guilty they feel for considering it, lots of awkward sexual tension undertones. I'm so sick of it I hope he hurries up and cheats on his wife so this shit can end.

MEANWHILE there's the other slow building infidelity subplot with Sheldon's uptight Christian mom who believes everything is a sin. So she works at her local church and they happen to hire a new pastor. And after a few episodes of becoming closer friends, Sheldon's mom starts having sex dreams about him. Also he is like over a decade younger than her. This is another subplot that has been dragging on for over a season I am so tired. I need her to know this pastor carnally already I can't take this anymore.

But the most utterly batshit morally reprehensible plotpoint that is currently happening is whatever Sheldon's dumbass teenage brother's got going on. So basically, he's currently 17. He met this 29 year old woman, lied to her and said he was in his 20s so he could fuck her. Which he did. Then his grandma found out and bullied him into telling her the truth. Which he did. And she was understandably horrified because why the fuck WOULDNT she be?? And she makes it very clear that she never wants to see his face again.

That's when she learns that she's pregnant. And considering she's working as a waitress, doesn't have a lot of money, eventually gets evicted from her apartment and is cut off from her parents, the show forces her into a position where she has to depend on Sheldon's Dumbass Brother and his family for support. They kinda make her situation and dynamic with him into a joke?? Like she hates him and wants nothing to do with him and is trying to keep him at arms length throughout the course of her pregnancy, while the narrative frames him as this sweet charming attentive boy who just wants to help her and be a good dad to their future baby, and he's still constantly treating her as his girlfriend, giving her cheek kisses and calling her pet names etc. Basically she's kinda roped into integrating into Sheldon's family unit. Like it's trying to play off her growing relationships with them as cute and wholesome, while not really acknowledging that she has no other option but to depend on these people and it's still very VERY nonchalant about the extremity of how Dumbass Teenage Brother has wronged her. She's gradually beginning to warm up to him again and it's. Ew.

Oh and also she's being constantly guilted and pressured into marrying him before the baby is born because Sheldon's mom, who wants to know the 25 year old pastor carnally, is very insistent about the baby not being born out of wedlock. Its a mess.

Oh and also Sheldon's grandma and dumbass teenage brother also run an illegal gambling den behind a laundermat. I forgot that part.

And Sheldon is....also there. He hasn't seemed to notice that his whole family is falling apart yet. Most of his subplots remain just as low stakes as they were 6 seasons ago. He gets a 98% on a test and beefs with the teacher about it. I think the writers are sick of him at this point.

AND, with all these deranged plot points in mind, the show STILL manages to be so so SO fucking boring. I don't know how but they manage it.

[intrepidradish]

Media: Farscape

Year/my age: 2019/29

This one is going to be enormous. Cant' be helped.

What drew me to the media:

Sometime in 2017, the boyfriend, later husband, was watching a show called Farscape. We lived in a different states. He was really enjoying it, and I wasn't in the mindset to watch a show. I was trying to watch Star Trek the Next Generation and was failing miserably. He said I should watch Farscape instead, and I don't take show suggestions because I'm a stubborn jackass that likes to be an enigma. Classic Classic. Nothing has changed. I did not watch Farscape.

Fast forward two years, I'm in a pit of despair because I can't watch anymore Dr. Who. I finished the reboot material, don't want to go back to the earlier Whos and can't afford the Jodi Whittaker's on prime. I'm lightly sobbing (because I'm a lil baby) about needing a new show that is both funny, campy, and also trauma inducing. Once again the boyfriend is like "dude, watch Farscape." and I'm like "no, no. I'm not going to watch the muppets-in-space show."

We all know how this ends.

OKAY BUT SEASON 1! John Crichton! Aeryn Sun! The MAKEUP! The Props! The SETS! The Muppets!

I'm engaged, you know, I'm there watching.

I think early season John Crichton is yaknow... he's an arc type of a white guy in space. He was on top of the spaghetti on Earth being a cis straight guy, kind of a bro. He's got that solid mix vibe of both your quarterback from highschool but is smart enough to also be your biology tutor. He's got a heart of gold. He's going to stand up for the nerd getting the toilet swirly.

He's an arc type we see a LOT in science fiction, and the normal route for these kinds of dudes is they get in an unfamiliar environment and take over. Since I was worried that was going to be his trajectory, I was a little more skeptical of him from the start.

What is really refreshing about Farscape right out of the gate is that John Crichton is off kilter. He does not get in and take *anything* over. His unfamiliarity with the situation constantly is a disservice to himself and others despite trying to get on top of it, he can't. His heart of gold does win him a few friends though. Even though they all think he's nuts, which he is, and definitely is going to get crazier.

Anyway for the next 18 episodes, hour long apiece (its also crazy that seasons used to be 26 episodes, the 90s were blessed), I was happily invested in watching a man screw up a lot but also save the day. I love plots that revolve around a HUGE misunderstanding, because that's what motivates the plot for most of season 1.

What made me a fan:

Look, to defend myself here before we even get into it, I'm kind of a strange person. I look very 'cute woman', I'm dominantly tall for being only 5'9." I have blue eyes and dark hair, and weirdish teeth that makes a great smile. If you put me in a room with other people, I can be very charming. However, if you put me in sweats alone at home, I transform into a monster; a genderless, venomous freak that wants to eat raw meat, claw at dirt, and spit at people.

Inside, I am a freakish goblin person.

I've come to terms with this.*

(*she had, in fact, not come to terms with this in 2019)

I find it really funny that a lot of people are attracted to media because characters resonant with them. This very rarely happens to me. I can pick little bits of pieces of this character or that character that I like, but it's always me *liking* a character, not me relating to one. People generally don't put freakish goblin characters in shows. It's not like... a common character to make for a show, or book, or movie, or for anything for that matter.

Shocking to me, Farscape introduces a freakish goblin character late in season 1. Scorpius shows up.

'Neat' doesn't really cover it.

You know, it really is so nice to be represented for once in media. It really feels pretty great. Why yes, I am both that strange alien lizard man and why yes, I also want to rail him. That's the trans identity in a nutshell.

What did Hannibal Lector say to Clarice in Silence of the Lambs

"First, you have to covet. And how do you being to covet, Clarice?"

"You covet what you see everyday."

Right, I'm getting off track and poetic.

This is the first time I got interested in a media not for a ship but because of a single character. Scorpius is interesting enough on his own. He doesn't need someone to fix him or complete him. I want to take him in my hands, hold him, and then free him in every single animal enclosure just to watch what he does. And that *chef's kiss* is the perfect character, no ship needed.

Why do I like Scorpius?

I'm so glad you asked!

One. Look at him. He's a lizard man. He's got a weird bdsm outfit. He's got liquid latex pants, a codpiece, and an impish false tail (which doesn't get captured enough on video in the show's lighting). He's not ripped, he has a nice belly (belly.) He's got a cowl for fuck's sake. Also what's the deal with his gstring face mask? His gray pallor. His dark lips. His sharp teeth. But then they left his very human blue eyes. Love that. Apparently they thought about giving him lizard eye contacts and I'm so glad they didn't. He's great! He looks great. Moving on.

Two. He also has a great voice. I love creature actors! They have all this latex on their face, so their mobility for expression goes way down. But the greats always have fantastic voices. Doug Jones! Armin Shimmerman! Iggy pop (lols)! One of my fav things to do to introduce the character is send people the first torture scene, and Scorp has this liquid smooth, soft voice. LIKE SHUT UP. I'm sorry I'm a voice slut, but I am. He sounds great. He sounds like a ASMR whisper video that could put me to sleep.

Three. Harvey. Harvey is the head clone Scorpius put inside John Crichton. He's actually...more of my favorite... than Scorpius. (Ah!) Mostly because he's so fucking funny. And eventually, I got into the mind set that they are two sides of the same coin. That in order to understand Scorpius, you need to understand Harvey. And only when you sync the two, you get the whole man. Scorpius doesn't say a lot. Harvey says too much. You need both of them to understand.

Four. He's disabled. He has a genetic disorder. He suffers from chronic pain. If he gets too hot, he experiences excruciating pain. He's come up with a weird way to deal with it: a temperature suit and a giant cooling rod inserted in his brain. The cooling rod eventually craps out and he gets too hot again. His body regularly tries to kill him. It might be giving him brain damage.

Five. He is obsessed and stubborn and difficult and determined and willing to do anything. He has no allegiances (but he's also pretty nice to the people that work for him). He's motivated solely because he thinks it's the most efficient way to save the galaxy. (Don't worry, it's also a self-invested decision. He's still a bad boy.) Unfortunately, he thinks he'll need to commit genocide. He's wrong, but that makes him even better.

Six. He's smart, but not too smart. He makes mistakes. Season 3 is probably my favorite season, because that crushing finale. Lord.

Seven. He's a product of his upbringing, which was fucking shitty. He's ultimately an underdog. Ah! Yeah Season 3 Incubator! I honestly think Season 3 is the Scorpius season. It was the season they made him empathetic to the audience. He's a rape baby. He's a science experiment! He's not even a very good one. He's probably the only one that survived. He's alone in the universe. FUCKING ROUGH.

Eight. John Crichton will never forgive him. FUCK. This is one of my favorite plot points. Their entire relationship is just so shitty. John snuck into a Peacekeeper base as a Sebaccean. Scorpius, literally walking by him, knew he was lying, and captures him for torture to discover why he's breaking into a PK base. Because John is there for his then girlfriend, John tries to hide it. Quite separately, Scorpius see all his information about Wormholes, and is like 'huh that's a good way to destroy an entire race. tell me more.' Scorpius cares so little about John's stupid girlfriend, that she accidentally gets killed, and yaknow, being a smart dude, tags his catch and release with a clone brain chip. (As you do. It's completely understandable.) Unfortunately, the brain clone makes John go crazy for an entire season and kill his second girlfriend. JEEZ.

I might be misremembering things. I'm sort of on Scorpius's side at this point. It's been four years.

THE POINT IS. The entire thing is a HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING again. Like John doesn't have the info Scorpius wants out of the gate. Scorpius wasn't even supposed to be torturing him. It's shitty KISMET. They are on opposite sides for no reason! (it's almost star crossed lovers) Because of how John enjoys Harvey towards the end of their run, these two guys could've been friends. And that's a tragedy. To me. This person that watched a show and enjoyed it.

Nine. This guy looks like a KINKY FUCK and HE IS. I honestly thought when he first showed up they were going to neuter him. I'm too used to disney villains obviously. I was like 'oh...right, gimp man. he is going to be slowly deprived of every ounce of sex appeal like an orange in a juicer. they can't allow that thing to be sexy. it goes against the very integrity of expected normal television' BUT THEN THEY DIDN'T. He is every ounce the kinky fuck you want him to be the entire show. Including sucking blood off John's finger. Licking Meeklo Braca's face. Wearing a dog collar and drinking out of a bowl. Eating food weird. And literally having sex. He also moans when he's in pain. It all makes me feel pretty electric, and disgusted. I love it.

Ten. He wins. yup. 'nough said.

Have I written fanfiction for it? Why or why not?

You bet your ass I have. In the year of our lord 2019 having just been godsmacked by a character I strangely related to, I had to write some fanfiction. I was actually pretty confused about what I adored about Scorpius at the time. Since its a twenty year old fandom, I expected to uncover a treasure trove of other people already dealing with the same shit I was going through.

Like what's the deal with this hot lizard man? What kind of wicked sex he be having? What's his damage with John? How many different ways do they do the nasty to deal with their tension?

Surprisingly, the fandom did not deliver on these questions. Either, it was the 90s-00s and like...the nonbinary trans gay agenda wasn't really a concern for the founding show of a new tv network or a lot of the gay was lost in the fanfiction.net purge or the internet had changed just too damn much (forums didn't last 20 years).

Instead, I ran into a lot of fanfiction stories that didn't talk about his sexuality at all or made him into a huge rapist but didn't like...actually talk about rape or abuse or question any of that. I read the rape ones because I don't have a lot of options, but I was a bit irritated right. (Admittedly, I'm projecting on a weird lizard man, so I probably shouldn't get too bent out of shape about it. But I do. Meh.)

The first two stories I wrote, are definitely me trying to figure out something about my own sexuality vis a vis a weird lizard man. I entered with Harvey, because he was easier to grapple with.

Moments in Multitudes is just... so weird. But mind palaces are some of my favorite tropes.

Black Mirror was originally only 3 chapters long, but I expanded it when I was writing Far Horizon (the more plot driven story) because I was horny.

They are both weird stories. I think chapter 2 and 3 of Black Mirror are some of the best writing I did for the fandom. Too bad they are hidden in a no-touchy kink exploration of two characters that are the same person in a mental space. Ooooops.

Ultimately, I was writing for myself, and using a story to address my own approach to the monstrous.

I read this great article at the time.

It's a great article about identity and action. A person's identity has nothing to do with how they behave or how they are perceived.

But I also really liked this article's breakdown that desire and disgust live on the same spectrum. It's why men that claim to love women are also disgusted with their sexuality, bodies, and their sex.

I'm a cerebral person, so I needed more understanding of why Scorpius, a character that makes me a little wigged out, is something I'm also very attracted to. Fascinating stuff.

Around the time I was writing Scorpius like this, I also got a really wicked intense crush on a femme nonbinary person. Yay. Coming to terms with being bisexual. Thanks Scorp!

I don't have much to say about Far Horizon. It wasn't supposed to be horny, but some scenes don't leave a person alone. I sometimes think about taking out the masturbation scene, since the story can standalone without it. But meh.

Like I said before, I was writing for myself, and I very much enjoy rereading these stories.

Exceptional is one of my favorite stories I've written. It's very full circle of my exploration of Scorp. It's about his mom issues (but secretly) but it's also more about an OC than Scorp himself. I don't understand why people click this story but don't kudos it. It constantly makes me sad. Maybe it's too long. Maybe the sex scenes are too perverse. Maybe I humanized Scorp too much. Maybe the writing is actually bad. Maybe Natalia isn't likeable enough. I have no idea. I love this story though.

I think about scratching the serials off to try to market it, but without Scorp as an existing character in an existing universe, I don't think it works as well.

Opinion on the fandom:

Confusing! I found this show at the wrong time. The old guard is off living their lives. The young guard is like ten years younger than me. It's a very quiet fandom.

The best part is I found Iterations from posting on Ao3, and she supported me as a friend through the pandemic. She dragged my ass into predators (which I'll talk about shortly. It was awful lols) We collaborated on a predators story. We were writing partners for a year or two.

Getting blocked by an artist I really enjoyed was awful too. I don't think I've ever been blocked by someone I wanted to interact with before. It was the first time I was aware of being blocked in my entire existence on the internet!

It's strange because Farscape is SO HORNY. But I want to write the WRONG HORNY.

Like not a lot of people enjoyed Exceptional based on the kudos, but during the time I was taking over the Farscape tag for 26 consecutive weeks, there were SO MANY HORNY SCORPIUS STORIES. I like to think that my story inspired a lot of people. I have to go find it but the Daddy Scorp/Little John was WILD. Someone wrote about the scarran blood pact. We got the insane watersports story. We got the BUG SOUNDING DEAD DOVE. It was a fucking buffet of perverted Scorp stories.

And I remember someone in the midst of this buffet published an Aeryn/John and tagged it like *normal sex* not like all you *freaks*

I went and found it:

Iterations and I went off to giggle about this normcore fuck head trying to slow our roll. Like way to announce you're a boring prude to the public. Let us have our short lived fun.

The Farscape tag is uh more tame right now. People like short reads. Apparently, people still don't kudos. Meh. I don't get it. Sorry I'm horny, guys. I think its in the spirit of the show though.

Would I read again?

Yeah. I actually dig up Scorp stories all the time. It's the only thing I read though. I'm very narrowly focused.

[datsteboi]

So I recently finished playing SubaHibi/Wonderful Everyday and wanted to give my thoughts on it.

I think it's important to note that this is the first long length visual novel I have actually finished. Yes, I have played Clannad and Muv-luv but ran out of time on my original playthroughs of those. I got to every route except for 3 Nagisa, Kotomi, Fuko and after story for clannad, and I finished all of Muv-Luv extra and that's it. Yes, I know it gets good i just need to get on that after Clannad. Well anyway lets get back to SubaHibi. The game starts off really weird, well the entire story is weird, so I guess different from the rest. You have to get through a false start as I like to call it. These are actually quite common in Visual Novels especially in horror ones. This false start focuses on the first Protaginist Minakami Yuki and her two childhood best friends making memories with a Girl named Zakuro. There are two side routes which are basically a Yuri fanfic within the story itself, and the main ending which is an ominus storyline about the end sky which is a sort of backround theme throughout the plot. Like with any false starts it is often called the worst part of the story which I dont think is fair. It can be a slog to get through at times but the foreshadowing is insane and it makes an interesting start in general.

Down The Rabbit Hole:

While the false start is also technially called Down The Rabbit Hole and also has the same Protaginist, this is the offical start of the plot and is usually referred to as Down The Rabbit Hole II or just RHII. This chapter is very short and doesn't give you many details. This is cleary intended. All the choices are just different parts of the school you backtrack to and there aren't any side endings. The story itself is just an introduction to the main plot pretty much with Yuki trying to find out about Mamiya Takuji and his deeds.

It's My Own Invention:

This is the longest chapter and personally my least favorite. I don't think its bad but it's incredibly long. This chapter focuses on Mamiya Takuji who goes insane after his only friend commits suicide. This is the first part where the foreshadowing from RHI is apparent. The girl who commits suicide and is friends with Takuji is none otther than Zakuro, who is the girl you become friends with in the false start. After that quite a bit of the plot is his delsusions and mental health issues. This is the problem i have with this chapter. It definitly is intersting seeing the crazy things he does including a magical girl he deludes himself into beleiving is real, but the mental episodes go on forever and you can go hours without character dialouge. The later parts of this chapter focus on a cult he forms by sending curse mail to girls that bullied Zakuro. This is also where Kimika appears who also has her own ending. i also think this is where it is important to note that this novel has some pretty graphic and gross scenes. The one i found the worst is actually in this chapter and revolves around a teacher he recruits into the cult and tells to have sex with her dad and she does and the entire scenario really had my stomach turning.

Looking-Glass Insects:

This is what I like to call an outlier chapter sort of like RH1 as its pretty seperate from the rest of the story even though its super long. It focuses on Zakuro and the events leading up to her suicide. She become's friends with Kimika and then becomes a target of severe bullying. There are a few interactions with Takuji but the main plot revolves around her bullying getting worse and worse to the point of her being raped by multiple guys. The last hour or so of the story explain the girls she was with in RH2. She is brought into a cult that tells her she needs to have a near-death experience to regain former powers. She then goes with the girls and dies.

Jaberwocky 1:

This is where the true story shows itself, but there were some issues with translation starting here. It isnt that noticable but its there. Its also important to note that the tone shifts quite a bit here and is pretty lighthearted sometimes. So you are in Tomosanes perspective this time and finally find out or you already kinda knew if you played the side ending in Zakuros chapter that several of the characters are just multiple personalites. In this chapter Tomosane belives he is the off personality of Mamiya Takuji and so is Yuki. Yes that Yuki. She was also a personality as well. Going through this chapter you start to find out that both Tomosane and Yuki are at risk of disapearing due to Mamiya Takujis actions and they need to try and stop him.

Which dreamed it:

This is the shortest chapter and the only one not to have any choices. This is from his sisters perspective and shes the real victim here. She was involved in the "incident" that caused the multiple personalities to happen. This chapter really only focuses on the times tomosane disapeared and hasakis reaction to it. It also introdcues the reporter guy and why he was in the previous chapter. He gets really important here.

Jaberwocky II:

This is the last chapter and it has kind of a weird structure. Its always starts with a collection of different memories that explain Tomosane's backstory and all of that. It also showcases the orignal incident that weve been curious about for a while at this point. After that you get the ending depending on the choices in Jabberwocky I. There are two main endings and a secret ominius ending with Ayana who randomly appears in every chapter.

I honestly really enjoyed this VN despite all the mindless clicking through long segments i had to do. If you have the time i would certianly reccomend it.