bezz saying they learn from marc. bezz saying marc is maestro. bezz admitting he made the mistake and crashed because he knew marc was coming behind him.
biting him like a chew toy and throwing him around i need to study his brain
yeah i was listening to the oxley bom podcast for le mans in the grocery store yesterday (#glamour) and they were talking about the kind of relationship marc has with the other, younger riders (but like SPECIFICALLY the academy boys) were theres this weird like. resentment and humiliation (and FEAR.) with marc when he beats them that all tied into this desperateeeeee need for him to RESPECT them at the same time. oh to be rated as an enemy by marc marquez. and like obviously all of that is tied into the valentino of it all, but at the same time its like. these guys all came into the sport with a bunch preconceived notions about what its like to race marc and how challenging it is and those are all kind of CONFIRMED out there on track buttttt when they start racing its during honda's flop era!! and marc is injured!! so maybe they DIDNT have a great idea of what its like to race marc marquez at the height of his powers yaknow !! thats a whole different girl on track AND off track right now!!! so now hes back and hes mostly healthy and hes on a good bike and theyre all actually and for real getting a chance to measure up against him and ask themselves. are your accomplishments worth anything or was marc's situation just FUCKED. and thats a BIGGGG question ! HUGE !
like in many ways marc is kind of the current benchmark for generational talent style success in motogp! even if they hate him, that means something.... so they DO want marc to talk to them in the cooldown room (bez) and they WILL make lunges they wouldnt normally on track (pecco) when its marc because hes the guy they actually and for real have to beat if they want to consider themselves great. AND marc's such a boogeyman at the same time that sometimes theres this hilarious undercurrent of panicked desperation when he enters the convo on track that is so funnay. like my fave part of oxley/bom this week was specifically the dissection of the SHOWMANSHIP and the INTIMIDATION marc brings.... like UH-OH marc's on your ass gotta MOVE. and bezz and pecco folded !
so yeah i think they DO consider him a maestro! they WANT to see his data! and they ARE impressed with what he does on track because how couldnt you be? especially when you PERSONALLY know how hard that shit is?? and what does that knowledge that marc may be able to do things YOU cant and pull them off do to your brain?? what does the knowledge that he will NEVER quit trying to overtake you do to your brain?? what does the knowledge that he is the craziest, hottest person in a sport entirely consisting of insane in the membrane hot girls do to your brain??? like girl hes hunting you DOWN
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i barely have any moots on here so im most comfy sharing this on here lmao, anyways rant incoming:
im back to feeling like an emotionless monster and somehow the only emotion im able to feel is this immense amount of self-hate?? like all my life i was craving for validation and the reassurance that ppl do in fact like me and that im at least somewhat desirable, and now i got the validation once more im suddenly feeling more aroace than ever (i never even considered being ace but its getting more and more likely tbh, and im pretty sure im at least on the aro spectrum bc the only crush i ever had is one i made myself have in order to avoid boredom at school but its v much just a result of severe daddy issues)
a funny thing abt myself is also that i do a complete 180 once im rlyrly drunk, means that i get v flirty and playful but overall just much more comfy with expressing my emotions such as appreciation for my friends, happiness, thankfulness etc. i never thought i had that much rizz when drunk lmao but basically i made a guy wanna cuddle with me like the entire evening (+ the morning after) but when it came to be morning and i sobered up i felt such a huge amount of guilt bc i basically woke up feeling...nothing? this boy is there liking all my stories and dropping the sweetest things (he even bought me a deftones album and u guys know how much i love deftones) and im still not feeling a damn thing?? like i got what i always wanted but why do i have to be that weird abt everything? i mean i genuinely like and appreciate him but im v sure its in a platonic way, just the way i like my other friends too. (+ while cuddling, i felt soo repressed by physical touch, as if i was getting crushed and my body could not respond to anything; i basically felt like a doll being dragged around by its owner but ofc i didnt say i was uncomfy bc im a coward lol)
all in all i feel like theres not many things missing until im able to label myself aroace, and by no means i wanna indicate that being aroace is something bad at all. its just such a sad thing for me, realizing i dont feel a thing while im 'playing' with other peoples feelings like some soulless monster.. this just made me realize i'd be horrible at dating and communicating bc the only ppl im comfy with talking abt this matter are my little digital tumblr people >_<
to everyone reading all of that for some unknown reason: tysm, have my (ofc platonic) love <33
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Affixes, Clitics, and Particles
i think that these parts of language are really cool! so im going to try to explain them :D also i definitely did not get sent down an hours long rabbit hole of linguistic papers and i also definitely didn't find out that the reason i wanted to make this post is actually a misconception :D i love ignoring things :D
Affixes:
the wikipedia article for affixes says that "in linguistics, an affix is a morpheme that is attached to a word stem to form a new word or word form."
in hopefully simpler terms, this basically means that an affix is a letter, or a group of letters that form a single sound or syllable, that is attached to a word stem to form a new word or word form.
some examples of these are the somewhat well known prefix and suffix, but also the beloved infix:
prefix: undone
suffix: spotless
infix: abso-fucking-lutely
sidenote: my favorite thing about english infixes is that they pretty much only work with expletives. in fact, there's a tom scott video about expletive infixations!
Clitics:
wikipedia defines a clitic as such: "a clitic is a morpheme that has syntactic characteristics of a word, but depends phonologically on another word or phrase."
in layman's terms: a clitic is a letter, or a group of letters that form a single sound or syllable, that has the function of a word in a sentence, but depends on another word or phrase based on the sound rules of the language.
a few examples of clitics can be seen in finnish (which also has a great many affixes but we're not talking about those right now):
-ko/kö
-han/hän
-pa/pä
-kin
the spelling of the clitic depends on vowel harmony. if you want to learn more, this dissertation is all about finnish clitics!
you may be asking yourself how to tell the difference between clitics and other parts of speech. well this study has just the thing for you! quite a few tests are suggested by the author of this study if you want to be able to tell if something is a clitic or not, including some of the following:
a phonological test
observe how the clitic forms a phonological unit with an independent word. (do not ask me how this one works i dont know)
accentual test
"clitics are accentually dependent, while full words are accentually independent." put simply, if you can't put stress on it, it's probably a clitic
syntactic test
a word can stand on its own and be subject to normal word processes such as tense changes while a clitic cannot do this
Particles:
"'Particle' is a cover term for items that do not fit easily into syntactic and semantic generalizations about the language[.]"
read: "particle" is a miscellaneous, catch all term for anything that doesn't fit into the above two categories (or any other word categories like nouns, verbs, etc.)
the author of this study (who i'm going to refer to as Zwicky from now on because it's easier) says that theres no such thing as a particle and that its distinction from affixes, clitics, words, and clauses is unnecessary. i think thats an. interesting take.
anyway even though Zwicky just said theres no such thing as particles (which, how could he do that? theres kids around! we dont want to ruin the magic!) he concedes that there is actually a group of words that are commonly called particles that he agrees are actually particles. but he decides to call them discourse markers instead. because fuck you.
i dont like any of the words that Zwicky included so i made a list of my own:
-ね (ne)
eh (canadian english)
innit (common transcription of "isn't it", british english)
the funny thing is im coming out of this still not entirely clear on what a particle is. i thought i knew, i did some research, realized i didnt know, and now i'm here. based on how Zwicky puts it, it feels like the category of "particle" exists to accommodate the fact that there might be words* that arent affixes, clitics, words, or clauses but it feels like Zwicky is just being contrary. I should probably have done more research but this post was supposed to be done 24 hours ago.
out of context highlights from my research process:
- sanskrit
- the panini rule
- doch
- verbosely long section titles
*i dont actually mean words, i mean a morpheme which is a letter or a group of letters that form the representation of one sound that carries meaning, but i didn't want to make that sentence long and unreadable
if i'm wrong, please tell me! i would appreciate being corrected, i know i am not an expert on this topic in the slightest.
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with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.
i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.
heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."
knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.
it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.
i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!
i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!
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