#theres something i don't like about this drawing but i don't know how to fix it tho :(

[carpathiians]

being kinda negative in the tags ig but its just art thoughts feel free to ignore this <3

[miifu666]

Yandere isekai! Alpha!

Who you met during your mindless scrolling through the brainrotting reels and videos thats feeding the addiction part of your brain, in no time you're suddenly transported in the middle of a busy street with your pajamas.

Not knowing if you've accidentally sleepwalked or if you were daydreaming, you noticed the strange waft of different smells the people around you have.

Its all too much for your brain, the smell of different perfumes clashing eachother is making your head spin. In no time, you accidentally hit your head on someone.

A tall person, maybe 6'7 you note. You have to crank your neck upwards to see him, apologize and run back to your home despite forgetting that you're in the middle of an unknown street.

"S..sorry..?" You half muttered, trying to get a glimpse of the man by squinting, the backlight of the sun isn't helping the unfortunate circumstances you're in.

"No problem! ...hey are you lost, little thing?" The man tilted his head, blocking the sun and giving you a bit of how he looks now. "You don't smell like an average beta.. or omega... even alpha"

He's an attractive person, a lazy smile etched on his perfectly smooth face. Pulling the fat of the cheeks a little and curving his cat-like eyes just beneath his golden rimmed glasses. Theres a few moles you see near his left eye, under the eyebrow and bottom lip. He looks like one of those pinterest models you see, one that people put as a drawing reference.

"Uhm.. what?"

"You're okay?"

"I think so? What do you mean.. average beta?"

Hearing your answer, the tall man can only hummed and fix his dark blue hair. It wasn't long enough to reach his shoulder but not short enough to reach his ears too, a layered cut maybe? You try to figure out the man's body action before hearing out what he has to say. Theres a small fear of you getting kidnapped, pulled into some drunken bar or maybe a dimmed and empty place to steal your organs.

"Betas? You know, the second gender?" He muttered, the lazy smile is still stapled on his face. You asked if he's talking about the same beta, omega and alpha that you know about. The ones that you've read in fiction and posts, a universe where people have secondary genders instead of just the usual biological male or female. "Hmmm... yes?".

You wanted to laugh, make a weird face, punch him on the guts, to say he's joking would be an understatement. He looks serious, in fact. He looks at you judgingly despite the small smile he kept. You panicked, finding out that those isekai fictions are actually happening to you, during your scrolling on the dumb thin brick of electronic. Maybe if you weren't so focused on it, you would realized you're slowly being transported into another dimension.

The man tilted his head again, a small humm is heard despite the loud steps of the crowd walking past you. The crowd, you're also in the middle of the busy street. The sweat on your palms feels more wet now that you realized everyone is seeing you in your pajamas, the only pair of outfit you wear to be comfortable alone, uninterrupted in your small abode.

"You look so anxious.. wanna go somewhere to talk? Seems like you need something to straighten your mind"

Time moves quickly, you're now sitting in a thick sofa. One that feels like its been used for years, the comfortable dent it has gives you a sense of belonging. The man, introduced himself as Elias. Explained to you how this world works, after noticing how despite having betas around. You have a particular smell that isnt too strong or "unique" as he would say it. "Quite the catch you are" he smiled as he tilted his head again, the act reminding you of an owl. "An alpha like me have sharper nose... but i can barely smell you. Its like smelling a deer.. small deer"

Now you're lounging in his house, holding a warm chamomile tea he brewed. Feeling snug despite being in a strangers house, waiting for him to finish changing. He discussed about you having a place to stay, urging you to live in his house for awhile till you can figure things out in this world. 'How kind..' you think, 'maybe the alphas in the fiction isnt as horrible as it actually is in here... '

You didn't noticed the lingering look he's giving you, the licking of his lips each time you tend to appear skittish and unsafe. He has a need to keep you alone, keep you safe around him and maybe spoil you a bit. Who knows? Maybe throughout all his life being an Apex Alpha, you are his true mate. The reason he's been so devoid of any feeling and not so obedient for his wolf side is because you haven't appeared in his universe.

Fortunately hes a patient man, so patient. He can easily break you down to become his perfect little omega, no matter if you'll have it as a second gender or not. In his eyes, you'll always be an omega. His omega

Elias is an old yandere oc i created, i had some ideas of how he is but i wanted to show more of his personality here. Theres a few notes past me put on his character but the rest, is improvised.Sooo this is all not proofread.

[attyrocious]

very genuine question do u never get artblock or something. I see u post like every day and i always think how???? im going thru the worst artblock rn and i must know if theres some secret….

short answer: im very good at faking it 😎👉👉

the longer answer is, everyone gets art blocked. hell i think im art blocked right now.

managing it is rly a must if you're making a living as an artist tho. i get about 6+ illustration requests a workweek and those have to be sent within 2 hours and i dont get to have time to wallow in misery unfortunately. easiest fix for me is i just have at least 4 other artstyles i can switch routes to just to get job done. basically, try something new. experiment in art styles

what ive learned to is just to accept you wont get to post masterpieces every time. managing expectations and what not. you can pick apart what's giving you trouble and just work around it. i remember failing to draw Killer's face some time ago so i just changed the pose so i didnt have to.

but really tho. all these is for if you really need to get things done. art should still be fun. don't pressure yourself to churn out stuff and whip yourself. you can just chill. do hobbies away from art and screens and itll roll off on its own. take it easy

that said, i made Law's onigashima cape last artblock weekend instead of drawing look at him

[frostbite-the-bat]

stop that.

yknow how you can start with idk.. a mascot or vtubing? hit up an artist. support them. pay them. does your friend draw? maybe they'd be willing to help!

or maybe get involved!! start drawing yourself! in this day and age i know people are often very busy but if you have time to look at this ai shit and want a hobby like, as they for example say, fandom or vtubing - you probably have time to draw and design a thing.

its not about affordability, though yes, many adopts are overpriced but artists DESERVE PAYMENT FOR THEIR WORK!!! there are issues with adopts and scams and all this, and i agree that people hyping designs up because they're by someone famous is a bit... meh... and many artists will underprice because of this in the end.. but really. ai. is that your solution. stealing more art?

none of this is embracing creativity. you are stealing artwork. embracing creativity is being brave and drawing something yourself. even if it "sucks" at first - you created something! who else was going to draw it the same way you have? ai sure wont. it's just data making images based on prompts.

nobody can draw like you can!! embrace it!!! that's what is wonderful about art!!! i know people can be rude and exclude newbie artists, and people seek out these sleek "professional" art styles and you will get overlooked in certain areas of the internet if you DO not look like that. but like... why follow that??? just!! do your own thing!!!

i am all for supporting anyone starting art!! it is a difficult journey and i am still going through it!! but if you want to do an artsy thing WITHOUT putting any effort into the art itself... why fucking bother? why care? is art just assets to you??? how swallowed by everything corporate are you???

it's fucking disgusting that these people are SELLING these. art they didn't make themselves. i do give them props for "cleaning them up", at least there is minimal effort put in. but to me it is no excuse. you can draw then, right? make your own adopts!!! hell back then i had worse art and people bought my designs regardless because (it was cheap) and i put it where people sought adoptables in the community!! these people even turned their comments off. you don't even need to speak to them to get an adopt. you just buy it on the side and can download the image (which, is often cropped)

like my hand drawn adopts sold better and faster than most my base adopts - which i think says something??? not to say all base stuff is bad! it is not a bad thing. but going out of a comfort zone and drawing my own thing ended up working for me. here's the art below. it wasnt perfect but it was genuine. y'know?

you can make base adopts!! there were people even sought after and well known back then who made designs on bases and they sold WELL!! it allowed people to buy designs someone made and it was quicker with the help of a base. like as long as those are okay to use by the creator you can use them. theres nothing wrong. its like a coloring book. you still put in some effort and your own spin.

with this ai fixing you just fix the text being weird and the paw being off and are good. you did nothing.

sorry for popping off but it's pissing me off. i do believe that ai could be used for useful things - but art theft like this branded as CREATIVITY AND FREEDOM is. so sick to me. that's what ART is. that's what ANY CRAFT IS. that's not what telling words to a bot that shits out pictures based on other, real artists, art.

im so mad. ai art where fandoms come to life. no, artists who work their asses off making art for things they love out of passion is where fandoms come to life. interacting with fellow fans is where fandoms come to life. not this shit. i feel so bad for the new generation of young deviantart users. it wasnt perfect even back when when i began using it early 2015 - god it was horrible, but at least we didn't have art theft like this painted as CREATIVITY AND ART COMING TO LIFE! no the fuck you dont. but man things sure have changed since 2018, damn.

[zhuhongs]

well I thought I was going to fall asleep early, but it seems like I have too many things keeping me up and since its too cold to sit at my desk and write at my journal this thought is going on the internet. Tl:dr: tomorrow is my birthday. send me 50 dollars. i am going to bed. gn

Yea, recently everything just feels so.... much. Like I'm always at a state of just slightly overwhelmed that makes it feel usless to do anything. Like I'm worried about money, and I know that I have credit so I can use it and I have things that I need and things I want that I shouldn't deny myself of just because things are a bit trying (like food I want, things I need to fix). But then I can't help but have that internalized poor mantra of "why are u buying this when u have bills to pay?" which is dumb bc I deserve to use what little money I have in making my life more enjoyable . But I'm also like. sage did U really need to upgrade your phone or buy an interview shirt or hair dye? Like, no not technically, but these are things I should do to just make myself feel better. I don't want to be using a broken phone, might as well upgrade when theres a promotion that sure makes it hard right now but is a smart idea in the long run. And yes while I didn't need the dye or the shirt - it will make me more confident in my interview so I can get a higher paying job and not be surrounded by Stuff all day causing me to want to constantly buy things bc I wont be in a store 8hrs a day 5 days a week. So like, yes you do need those things and its negligible when I consider the credit I have. And even if I have some debts, I know that no one can bail me out becausemy family is in the same situation. And I have time. I just started working. Its a rough month, and the fact that I have a trip planned makes it even harder. Because that means more money. But if I always deny myself the opportunity to go and do things bc I don't have the money then I'd never leave my house ever, and thats how I grew up and I was miserable and the money will be gone and the month will be tight anyways so just go anddon't think about it. But I do think about it, because it's hard, and I work so hard my entire life, for what? To pay rent?? other people my age get to say the money they make and build a life yet I was dealt a shitty hand and have had to spend my time working for something people are given. And it hurts bc I've wasted so much time and worked so much andhave 9 dollars to my name and so much debt. But I will find a way. ANd it will all be paid off. I don' know how but I've done this same thing before, cried about it, and went to work the next day and figured it out. And my mother has done this everyday for the past 30 years, and I feel so sorryforher because I know it's hard. And she deserves so much more and I want to give it to her, and I'm not even 23. And tomorrow is my birthday and I have to go work. Even if I called out I don't know what it would help. And I want to go out with my friends and have a good time but I need to paymy car and I need to pay my bills. And I work 9 to 5 and when I get home I have to walk my dog and make dinner. And it's cold. And by the time all of that is done I feel like I have no time to make art or practice chinese or do any of my hobbies and better myself. I''m so tired that all I do is sleep. And I feel myself falling into old habits. And I hate it, i hate it, I am trying so hard to clawmy way out of it. It's starting with a simple routine. Even if it hasn't gotten to the point where I sit and draw or read or write every day. At least I do the dishes when I finish eating, brush my teeth twice a day, foldmy clothes, make my bed, stay off my phone during my breaks, and pack a lunch. Even if that's something I should have achieved long ago, I didn't. So now I need to do that before I can learn how to do hwat I want sadly, because dreamings costs money and dreaming requires habits. AAAAAA. okay. I need to go to bed bc I need to be up at 8am to get ready for work. Happy bday to me.

[sunny6677]

INNOCENCE- A DHMIS AU

PART 1: THE MAIN THREE

(If people like it enough, I might add a part 2 to this)

PERSONALITIES:

Red Guy: Red Guy lives with his two friends in Clay Woods, in his own seperate little cottage just in the middle of their houses. He has a big stash of Jam always, and when its gone, he will always go search for more. If he sees Jam, he will take it, no questions asked. Red Guy does tend to make questionable decisions for any sort of plan he may need, but can be compassionate when he needs to be. He, like the others, seems to hold a rather childlike innocence to him-- as he does not know what some bigger words mean or how to do basic stuff like math or drawing. He tends to be the less emotional one out of the three, and barely does show any emotion at all-- only reacting with emotion when it comes to Jam or something saddening. He is often called 'silly' by his friends, but he never seems to understand why, as he never seems to be trying to be silly. His questionable choices in question are stuff along the lines of chasing after Duck who is clearly afraid of heights and is attached to a kite and just asking him how his day is instead of doing anything, and when Duck flies off, just waving goodbye. And attempting to invade Yellows home once because he bought Jam and he didn't have anymore. Upon this happening, Yellow decided to never buy Jam again.

Yellow: Yellow Guy is the most energetic among the three, more adventurous and eager to go places. He bounces around a lot(literally) and consumes a lot of sugar, usually that being candy or desserts. Duck does attempt to get him to eat something else besides sugar, but it never works out. He tends to break things without meaning to, as he quite literally bounces around to get places. He does apologize for these instances, and does attempt to fix them whenever it happens. He also seems very insistent that he's a "sherrif", despite having no proof of it whatsoever. His friends do question it, but just go along with it for his sake. He does adore his dad, but has no idea where he is.

Duck: Duck is the most anxious among the three, often staying put in his home and worrying about every little thing. He constantly has to be reassured nothing bad is going to happen, and usually has to be accompanied by his friends in order to calm down. He is very soft spoken with his words, and intensely polite. He has a childlike fear of monsters, and of course, this is usually the reason why he rarely gets any sleep at all. For him to sleep, you'd have to reassure him over and over again that nothing bad was going to happen. Among the three, Duck and Red do seem the closest, so Red does manage to calm Duck a lot of the time.

------------------

What is Clay Woods?:

R: "...Its our home."

Y: "Why, it's our home, of course! Why would we have cottages if it wasn't our home, silly? Hohoho!"

D: "U-- Uh, well, it just happens to be a pair of a bunch of trees we decided to live together in.. theres-- there's definitely monsters out there though. [Shudders]."

Do you know who Lesley is?:

R: "No.. I don't believe I do. Are they a new person in the forest?"

Y: "Hmmm.. well, it seems the great Sherrif does not know who this Lesley person is!"

D: "Lesley? No-- no, I don't believe I do, sorry."

Why do you live in Clay Woods?:

R: "...I don't know. But they certainly do have a lot of Jam around here, so it's of no concern to me."

Y: "Hmm-- because we liked it here! And because I can catch a lot of imposters and fakes around here! Huhuhu! They'll all be so scared when I show them what a real sherrif is!"

D: "Un-- unsure why, um.. I think I just live here because they wanted to.

[plushyuicorn1158]

gay little demons and their modern parallels

oh the autism is strong with this one. i've been watching good omens for 3 days nonstop and have so many thoughts so heres a block of text about queer things/trauma response parallels in good omens

crowley/azraphael are very obviously portrayed as good/evil foils and like we got that. however i make the argument that not only are they foils they also portray the roles certain people take up in modern society so crowley for example. hes the "bad" one. he's the angel who fell and therefore he must be terrible. but we see so clearly his want to be good. it's just shrouded by the demands of his society. so when looking at him as an alegory for queer people/internalized homophobia, he takes on the role of the self hating queer. someone who knows he is queer, who has been hated/bullied/demeaned for it and he internalized it and believes it is a fundamentally bad part of him. he tries to run from it however his true nature tends to peak through. now lets look at azraphale. he takes the role of the resilient queer. someone who can see the damage being done to his fellow queer people but he believes in the "few bad apples" fallacy. if he can just get the few bad apples out of power than everyone will be able to be their true selves and be happy. he is the idealist whereas crowley is the realist. and even though he himself has been damaged by this, he still believes in the goodness of people and wants to fix it so as far as queerness goes, crowley is a queer who desperately wants to let himself love but he has been taught otherwise. azraphale has been taught that a few bad people don't make all the rules and whats important is that crowley and azraphale need each other as balancing points. where crowley is untrusting, azraphale is there to show him that people can be good. and when azraphale is inevatebly harmed by awful people, crowley is there to comfort him. so while they foil each other they also need each other to function in society and the way it functions

because crowley is the quintessential black sheep to azraphales golden child. azraphale believes he is the mediator. he is the fixer. and if he just tries harder he can fix everything. theres some grand gesture he can do to fix it. but crowley has accepted the fact the he is inhearently awful, as hes been told. crowley doesn't think he can fix things and he doesn't want to. he is very much a flight person. the minute something happens that threatens his worldview or challenges his perception of himself he runs because the person he truly is, is vile and harmful and he doesn't want to take the chance at vulnurability and this is shown clearly but also subtextually crowley has bright yellow eyes with slit pupils. so when he goes out into human society or is around people he doesnt fully trust he wears dark glasses. and what we see is that he takes them off around azraphale. even when azraphale isnt there he takes them off in the bookshop because he feels safe there. and so this pattern of behavior makes their final confrentation all the more painful. because he bares his soul to azraphale and when he feelings aren't returned the exact same way, he assumes he's hated. and so, after this massive breech of trust and vulnurability, he puts the glasses back on. he puts all his walls back up because the one person he thought he could trust with this has let him down he is so broken, and this moment is his desperate plea to azraphale to see him. to love him. and azraphale does, in his own way. but not in the way crowley understands. and because theres such a breakdown in communication, azraphale thinks that his action is showing crowley just how much he does love him

but to crowley, it says the exact opposite

and theres this moment of dialouge i wanna draw attention too crowley says "you can't leave this bookshop" and azraphales response is "oh crowley, nothing lasts forever" and its this moment that really shows how they fundamentally understand and misunderstand each other and i'll tell you why what azraphale is saying here is that nothing lasts forever. what he means is that the bookshop is just material. earth and heaven and hell they're all temporary. but this, him and crowley, this is eternal. he is going back to heaven and he is taking crowley with him so they can carve out a new life together. he is going to fix things and give crowley everything he's every wanted and they will be happy. but thats not what crowley hears. what he hears in this moment is "nothing lasts forever." nothing will last. he hears azraphale saying that this thing they have, that means more to crowley than any material posession, is nothing. it wont last. he hears azraphale choosing the system that has harmed him and cast him out and made him feel worthless. and now, the only thing he's allowed himself to love in 6000 years has turned their back on him. has given into the system and betrayed him

[etheriii]

🪶🕸️

The below written parts are a bit long, so tldr at end!

🪶 - What’s something you’re passionate about?

I'm really passionate about art! Specifically visual arts. Some of my current fixations on art include painting, crocheting, clay modelling, and model making!! My digital art is quite bad considering I didn't do any for years until about two months ago. But my traditional art? I'd say it's pretty good. (Atleast for my age) ...Or maybe I just like to boast-

I also really like to draw concepts of different ocs or make new characters! Though most of them don't actually end up on paper and just exist in some corner of my mind

Since I already have posted some of my crochet projects here, I'll share a painting that I'm really proud of :D

(It's from around 6 months ago and the quality is shit)

🕸️ - What’s an idea you had for a story, art piece, etc that you never created?

One thing about me: I daydream. A LOT. Which means I create a lot of scenarios in my head on a daily basis. So in terms of a story or an art piece, theres a lot that I haven't done because,, studies and other life stuff. For art pieces, I rarely have some idea that I haven't created as I either actually create the idea, or just scrap it and throw it away as to not overwhelm myself.

But currently I have 3 fixed worlds or stories in my head that I rotate around in my head. (Even though I do have other scenarios pop up lol) And I've just yesterday gotten an app to write it all down so that I can probably turn it into something! :D in a few days I might even share some of it here based on how much I like it after-

But a basic outline of one of them is that there's one person, they're the hero of the story, they save everyone, is regarded as a good person and they try "immortalizing" themself into a god for personal goals and it goes wrong, they don't like the feeling of reverence, feel suffocated and just,, run away. Centuries later, the worshipping that is done for this hero after they are a "god" is actually taking a turn for the worse as it's becoming evil. And some people want to save it and help people (they're the main characters) Also these ppl later find out that the main "god" or hero is alive and whatever happened is because of their shitty choices (they're just a silly lil person) <3

I apologize if the above part is not understandable as I'm not very good at putting my thoughts into words.. I still have to work on it a bit more as I've focused a tad bit more on the world building than story.

(Congrats you now know more about me than my irl friends)

~~~~~~~

TLDR;

🪶 - What’s something you’re passionate about?

I'm really passionate about art! I like crocheting, painting, model making and clay modelling the most

🕸️ - What’s an idea you had for a story, art piece, etc that you never created?

Nearly all the stories I have ever thought of are technically not created.. I've just recently started to actually document some of it

[one-and-lonely16]

You haven’t been active today and i was concerned caz i thought maybe that six form thingy made you sad or something 😭 anyways im glad ure okay and just drawing :D tell us a bit about ur ocs? :D

ACK- U WERE WORRIED?? THAT MAKES ME HAPPY BUT YEAH IM FINE NOW

anyways

im glad u asked >:)

SO! blondie in the middle is called andi. she is captain of a ship called the black beauty. she ran away from home at the age of 19. her brother died when she was 15. girl got buckets of trauma. loves her crew. was voted queen of the seas a while back. pansexual. bit of a whore but we love her

the one kissing her head is ryka. she is the princess of aeria and she joins andi's crew for a brief time bc she wants to find the heart of the ocean (theres so much more lore but its like i dont wanna give too much away). the reason she's the only one really interacting with andi properly in the drawing is bc they are endgame. shes a lesbian but was arranged to marry a man (not bc the world is homophobic, its just she hated the rest of the suitors her parents approved of)

next to ryka is lukas. he was andi's childhood friend and first love. they were together at the age of 13-14, but eventually broke up bc best if they were friends (loved each other platonically not romantically. thats why hes further away than the others). however, when andi gets with iris and aria leaves, they fall out and he eventually goes to find aria. at the timeline in the story, he is dead

laying on andi's lap is rosa. she is actually one of my favourites to write. a girlboss. an icon. she is a prostitute, but like shes knows what shes worth and wont take shit from anyone. her and andi don't love each other (hence the reason u cant see her face), but andi is like her fav client and shes andis fav whore i guess (that sounds fucked up but like they genuinely are friends and care about each other)

on the floor is syrena. shes a mermaid. and like she is completely and utterly in love with andi (they have slept together) but it is one-sided. andi cares for her as a friend, but isnt in love with her. thats why shes on the floor and looking up, showing her devotion as such, but how unrequited it is. the definition of the other woman. shes actually really sweet (despitr always suggesting to eat ryka so andi doesnt have any problems)

the one looking up at andi is aria. she wasn't friends with andi as long as lukas was, but was still a childhood friend. she met lukas through being andi's gf at the time. they went out for a few months when they were 14, but then aria said she wanted to focus on training and they broke up (andi was starting to fall in love with her but understood and was ok being friends). after andi started spiraling, she left and joined the navy for where they are from (i cant remember what i called the place and my notebook is god knows where)

then last but certainly not least is iris. she is a priestess for the deities. she got with andi just after her brother died (andi doesnt have the best coping mechanisms) she knew of this prophecy about the heart of the ocean and whilst she did care for andi, she was kind of manipulating her for the deities so this prophecy could be fulfilled. andi worshipped her. i wouldnt say it was love bc of unhealthy it was but she was obsessed. when andi ran away, they said goodbye and broke up but yeah. shes really powerful. she does care for andi and then in the future helps them find the heart and fix all the problems that come with the heart

thats all of them in the photo, soz for the long post i could go on for hours

[allamalad]

TLDR OC ART PLUS HARMLESS RANT WITH NO ILL INTENTIONS TOWARDS PEOPLE INVOLVED

Ik I never post here but I just wanna clear things up just incase my oc ends up getting stolen (I'm pretty sure it's just my anxitey being funky but idk)

I don't have any screen shots or anything since I was so suddenly kicked, but yeh.

I got kicked out of a roleplay with no explanation even though I had been with them for a little over a year now or so. (Mind you I had a very positive relation with everyone there, nothing controversial happened at all as far as I'm aware of) We had a small minor disagreement (or at least i thought it was small) about how my posts were written for my two recent actions for my ocs. Mind you I wrote them in the middle of the night so it wasn't the best. They told me, so I did my best to fix them. I told them I'd be inactive, but if there was anything else I could fix they send me a message about it and I'd fix it. Due to being at orientation I could not be on until I got on my plane to go home. I sent em a quick message that I'm done with all my classes/orientation stuff before lift off. Then, when I got home after meeting with my irl friends on minecraft for a bit since we hadnt talked in a while, I realized I had been kicked.

Options are either they suddenly didn't like how I was the only minor (and of this post being out, still am a minor) in the roleplay, they didn't like how I was inactive for ONLY 3 days with warning before hand for my orientation, or they didn't like how my ocs were being written in the current situation of the rp.

I attempted to explain as I was concerned and confused, I was completley transparent with them. However the main person and their friend both ghosted me. And then by the morning they had blocked me.

What makes me anxious is if they're going to weoponize my ocs and kill them off and use their deaths to give character to the other goobers without my permission. And the main person in charge of the rp said they wanted to make a book based off of the rp. One of the other peeps in the rp did at one point try to add some elements from Valerie's back story (my oc) which is extremely spesific to him, it's not a general apocalypse characteristic. However after I talked to them about it, we sorted it out. (It was not an agressive interaction btw, I had no ill intent towards them, just a small concern)

So.. yeah. if you see any goobers looking similar descriptions characteristics or the names Krisper and Valerie Vesper, just know those are my ocs being stolen. I like to hope they would never do something like this. They were genuinley nice people and I was glad to rp with them, I just wish they explained to me why they did what they did. It genuinley hurt me to have people and characters I was familiar and cool with for a long while suddenly disappear, I just hope nothing bad comes from it.

It was truely fun while it lasted though, and I hope they have fun still too. I'm pretty attached to these two ocs, so ima probably make their own little zombie apocalypse universe to exist in with their own little arcs and get rid of connected story bits to the rp, as I do not want to steal the other roleplayers ocs.

(ps these old drawings comparison prove they have been my ocs since the beginning, theres also an animation on my YouTube channel @allamalad. So yeah, art cpmparison also serves as proof just incase anything does happen. Also yes my signature has developed from [ANNA] to AG to not really using it that often anymore lol. Feel free to see the progression of that on my instagram also @allamalad if you need proof.)

[ardienothesieno]

quietly raging while sitting on a crumbling leather couch. feeling sick. listening to hawaii part ii.

huge vent under cut

i just want to draw, man. i want you to leave me alone like i keep asking, i want privacy i want autonomy i dont want you looking over my shoulder policing my every move i can afford to fail a bit i just. i just want to be my own person to have hobbies to be able to talk to my friends to not be scared every time you walk by because you'll yell at me, force me into boxes and try to make my brain work in ways it doesnt know how to yet. you say you dont care about me being perfect but that you know *I* care so you care because I care but I keep trying to tell you I DONT care anymore. yeah being a perfect little person is *great* and everything but damn it theres too much shit that comes with it and im sick and tired of that shit and i keep trying to tell you that but you wont listen and every time I finally think you hear me that youre listening to what *I* want but then you do this again and you wonder why I dont trust you!! my god im not a kid anymore stop treating me like im about to shatter into a thousand pieces have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, I know myself better then you do now? that ive taken what ive learned from hiding myself in a mental box all my life and maybe, just maybe, hide in that box around you??? and every time. every time I think maybe I can come out of the box so I test the waters i peek my face out to see if it's safe but it never is and I have to go back. maybe I dont tell you everything anymore because why should I. you dont trust me so why should I trust you. maybe there's a reason I spend so much time hiding on the internet. maybe the people on here know me better then anyone out there has ever known me. what if I actually feel safe here what if it's the only place I feel like I can say the shit I want to because maybe people here care more then all of you out there, that maybe here people dont question me and try to fix everything for me and if I can't deal with a person well god damn it that's the whole reason there's a block button. I can't block people in real life. in real life there's maybe two people I would ever talk about this shit with and one if them i dont know well enough to feel comfortable with dumping this shit on them and the other has enough of their own crap going on i cant do that to her. but I feel like the people here are really actually my friends i feel like I can trust them i would kill for them theyre my FRIENDS. you seem to think that not knowing names or faces or every detail of someone's life invalidates any possibility of "friendship" but they understand me better then you do. better then anyone irl does. and yet you think that theyre not safe that im not safe because i call them friends THEYRE MY FUCKING FRIENDS. I feel safe here I don't feel safe out there with you trying to make me into something I'm not. here no one cares!! they either like me or don't like me or hate me but they don't EXPECT anything of me unless i tell them they can. unlike you. you expect something I can't both do and stay sane at the same time because "oh you've done it before you can do it now" THINGS HAVE CHANGED. I HAVE CHANGED.

stop fucking trying to make me into a perfect little human being. im not. im not perfect damn it LET ME BE AN IMPERFECT PERSON.

[esoteriamaya]

Depressive Episodes : Owning up to my emotions and allowing the waves of depression to push me through my toughest battles.

One thing about me, is that I never give up.

Im resilient, even when I don't believe it.

I've never allowed myself to fail, even when at times I knew I was falling. Its just... not in me to let go. I just gotta breathe, man. I can't see myself allowing the world to dig me into my own grave.

But that doesn't mean I havent thought about it.

Sometimes when I can't see the future, I go crazy and can't stop myself from having a manic depressive episode.

Other times, I can see the future, or the idea of it, and still go into a manic episode. So of course.. it doesn't matter when, what or where, when that wave of depression hits.. it starts to get me down to one of those spiraling series waiting to be channeled into something else.

So far, I've learned to creative outlets for my depression. Being honest, and escaping into worlds of creativity like painting, drawing, poetry.. Im still learning how to paint my emotions and make it seem more meaningful. But hey, anything to cure the depressive thoughts. I can't live like this anymore.

But the thing is, depression comes through waves and tries to leave its mark on society due to a painful reality we seem to suppress within. We can't lie to ourselves anymore, things are getting worse, and it seems as if it has no plans on getting better.

Or so they say...

I have a feeling that depression in our society has a LOT to do with our needs not being met, but ALSO because theres something negging at us to be seen. And its love.

We live in a cold reality, where most people pretend to be in their ego but not in their hearts. The warmth we are needing is in community, but there hasnt been too many spaces for community to fondle in. Depression sticks due to some of the food we eat, the shows and news we digest, the constant negativity that is plastered in front of us day in and day out. You know.. this can tire out a lost soul, and distract you from the primary mission. So to say that depression can be easy to fix, isn't the most practical way of thinking, at least not on my end.

Its taken me 5 years to really get to the nitty & gritty of depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, fear.. etc... and I've come to the conclusion that this thing can be generational as well as something going on in the psyche and needs further analyzation in other to appreciate the whys and the why nots of depression so you can heal it clearer. In most cases, depression can find healing through the arts, but what if thats not your niche? What if theres something more you must succumb to and haven't figured it out?

One of the things I've learned is mathematics. Boy I hated math as a kid cause I 'sucked' and I kept failing, however as I've made it to adulthood, I realize I DO love math, just not the way it was taught. Over time, I've made time to study math and all its different layers, its like a universal code. It helped me remember some parts of my childhood that made it easier to appreciate it. I say this because it's been one thing that's lifted me up along side photography. On of the main things that lifted up my energies into higher vibrations and being able to relieve myself of any depressive wave that entered my energy. Anytime I do feel depression sometimes I sit with it, sometimes I go and find purpose.

Because depression is causing you to lack clarity, focus, drive and remembrance of your souls horizon. Your purpose. Your mission. What reason did you decide to come here, love?

So what I want you all to know is that when your feeling depressed, there is something in you that wants to be notified. Yes those emotions are deep and sometimes rather intense but the only way to get out of the mud is if you get to digging and remembering why you even started doing it in the first place. It's so you can get back to you.

So began to say good bye to your depression, your healing era awaits my love. Depression is only a wave of thunderstorms creating a destiny for you to see that rainbows are on the other side of that tired, daunting feeling.

[vermimorph]

Could you draw Victor Frankenstein? I hope you feel better!! 💞

yes!! thank you for allowing me back on my bullshit…

[1111jenx]

PICK A MONICA BELLUCI — JENX TAROT READING

@ What draw others to you? What kind of people are drawn to you and why?

Hey beautiful its Jenx🤎 This is the surprise I have been keeping from you guys for some time haha. I'll also be including some astrological signs, if theres any question please leave me a comment below. I'm open to any feedback<3 Please keep in mind that since I'm reading for a lot of people, some would resonate more while the others might not with some specific details as I'm channeling certain images and different things:)

Pick one of the images above, remember their numbers (1 — 3 from left to right) & scroll down to read your tailored reading🥰 As you pick between the images, think about yourself and yourself only, about all the past you you can recall, focus in the you in the moment and use your intuition to pick one.

—🪐

🪐🤎Pile 1🤎🪐

People are drawn to you because of your stability and will power. I think you're someone who's very stubborn and nostalgic. You're self-reliant. You perhaps have grown up in a household where financial stability matters greatly to you so you work hard for it as you grow older. Yet I can see that at times, it is hard for you to let things go as deep down, you can be very fixed within your views. Despite looking very cold and even perhaps poise at times, theres a charm in your outer detachment. It intrigues others. For you I imagine a phoenix, burning and working til it can't anymore just to rebirth and spread its wings wide. While you do have a serious side to you, as people get to know you, I think they are drawn to how big your heart is. You care for your loved ones and have a heart thats loyal and true. I'm sensing a little sass here haha, you're never back down from a fight don't you? Yet at times I feel that others too can see that you're too good to be where you are right now? As in you're the most beautiful flowers in the garden yet it is only one garden. People see that someone like you should be out there exploring the world. You may love to change your residences a lot or go on journeys often. Conquests are your thing. Also, I think individuality matters to you a lot. Like A LOT. You might even work better when you're alone too, while I think you have a good deal of acquaintances you don't have that much of close friends, you prefer to keep it small. I think people may submit to you unconsciously as you just radiate this Leadership energy to you. Your ego and pride and I'm hearing "family"? So perhaps your background is something you take great pride in. Does the Moon or Luna spark a memory in you? I also just heard "mother". Regardless; while you have a very tough exterior, you are very nurturing and soft at heart. I think theres an emphasis on the importance of your family here. So for you, your childhood may have define who you are as a person a lot. People like this about you, they like how soft-hearted you are deep down and they are in awe as they watch you lead others in public yet also a softie in private. You may also have a secret spiritual side to you too and you can be skeptics haha, but people find this very charming!

As for who is drawn to you, I think the people that are drawn to you usually are not at all what you represent. While they're also very adventurous and are students of life, I think you are wayyyy more stable than the people you attract and you are in one way or another, more mature. These people love you as you give them a sense of grounding and purpose. You love them because they soften the child in you. Also, these people may come off as air-headed but they are nothing but that. They're in fact also very calculated in side and are very practical lowkey. You might have a distaste for their flightiness and lack of commitment at times but I think you prefer relationships that offer an equal amount of growth and healing.

As for who is drawn to you, I think the people that are drawn to you usually are not at all what you represent. While they're also very adventurous and are students of life, I think you are wayyyy more stable than the people you attract and you are in one way or another, more mature. These people love you as you give them a sense of grounding and purpose. You love them because they soften the child in you. Also, these people may come off as air-headed but they are nothing but that. They're in fact also very calculated in side and are very practical lowkey. You might have a distaste for their flightiness and lack of commitment at times but I think you prefer relationships that offer an equal amount of growth and healing.

You perhaps have an abundant of earthy energy and loads of fire. The people that goes to you the most will have a great amount of fire and water also. I feel that Cancer/Moon energy is prominent overall.

🪐🤎Pile 2🤎🪐

Hi smarties. Hows manifesting going? Haha I'm joking. But you already know that didn't you? I'm seeing major Leo energy as well as Gemini and Virgo being present here, maybe even some Sagittarius placements. Loads of fire and air and some earth or very subtle Venusian energy.

I think people are drawn to you because of your passion and queen-like energy. I think you might have come from a very regal background or some of you might have ties with generational wealth. People can sense this almost immediately though, they admire your strength and beauty. Some even enjoy your teeny tiny hints of arrogance. Whats that? Its not arrogance its self awareness? I heard that just now haha. Nevertheless, you have a good balance between your mind and your heart. You can be very polarizing though. One moment you're passionate and fiery but the next you're cold and ruthless. I think regardless people still think its one of your strength, to do the hard jobs that people cant, to make the decisions others fear. You have a lot of divine protection I'm not going to lie. Are you also a spiritual worker/believer? You have angels surrounding you by the way, great ones and ones that you have yet to connect with all of them. Are you in a relationship or interested in someone at the moment? If that resonates to you, then side note they want more with you haha, they see a future for the two if you and they think you're truly unique. While I think at times, you may let your emotions take over you but you perhaps recently are trying to confront your demons. People think you're fucking brave by the way. And you're a smartie too. Do you have any prominent Mercury energy? or Gemini/Virgo? I just heard "no bad vibes here". So overall I think people love how laidback you are, but you're very well educated. You can let things burden you sometimes though, avoid focusing too much in your failure okay? You're so much more than that. Also I think you're incredibly transformative as a person. You never stop doing intensive self reflection and I think you believe in karma too. Charity? I just heard that all of the sudden hahah. You may enjoy going on journeys a lot and it seems like its endless growth with you. You are very upbeat and positive. Your angels are with you and ma'am/sir, you have some powerful spirits behind you. They want you to know that they heard you and you're slowly activating your chakras and soon enough, you will be opening doors again. Does that make sense to you now?

People that are drawn to you will usually match your energy in life. If you're the queen, they're the empress. You will always feel and have a mutual understanding with them. You guys together form a powerful ally and you may challenge yourself to work together in business. Be careful of over optimism and lack of concrete work. The reason why these people are drawn to you is because you guys both refuse to be ordinary, to take a break and to back down. You are all fierce and bold and very veryyy restless. They may also have major fire placements combined with heavy Venus energy and perhaps some Aquarius or Pisces.

Additional messages for pile 2 here

🪐🤎Pile 3🪐🤎

The Leo/Sun energy is through the roof today. You probably have a lot of Leos in your chart or the Sun is a prominent planet for you! Also I'm seeing other fire placements too and heavy Taurus/Libra energy:) People are drawn to you because they can't stop staring. You radiate so much light and bright energy people are simply mesmerized by. You're a winner and when you want something, you wont stop at any cost to get it. Interestingly, I think people acknowledge that you also have a mind that always working. You have been through a great deal of hardships though so I do not blame you boo. In the past, perhaps you were dealing with serious personal issues that challenge your faith, your work ethic and everything you stand for. I'm hearing some kind of toxic patterns/relationships? Nevertheless, the key is it didn't take rainbows and flowers to be the you you are today. In case you didn't know, you have crazy charisma. People would literally tell you that you're the kind of person that others fall for at first sight. Straight up, I'm feeling that you can be literally physically attractive as hell too wow. Not only that, I think you know this too don't you? A lot of pride in this pile too. Very sure of yourself and very powerful. You have a lot of people that admire you because you receive so much public recognition and validation but you also attract hella envious people because of this. People with low self esteems would feel called to drag you down or kill your vibes. But dont bother, you have nothing to fear. Because look into the mirror, look around you. Look at how many choices you have. People know this. People know you have options. You're the art everyone wants and you have so many suitors that wants to pursue you. You may have a successful business or your finance is very put together and people think you're truly lucky yet only you know how hard you worked for it. Ah I heard it now, sometimes you can be a bit irrational? No patience now huh haha. I think you don't like waiting and once you want something, you will chase. Things come to your seemingly so effortlessly but only you and god knows all the nights you spent on it. I think you may have bangs? Very lovable faces regardless, a beauty thats always relevant but ouchhh, you don't like it when people just think they know you based of your look now don't you? My bad boo, I know you are so much more than that. People that are drawn to you a lot of them are admirers but also haters. But ignore these energy vampires, they don't deserve a minute of your attention. You are so so in your element and fun. All the sleepless nights you had are acknowledged love. I hear you. You have a mindset thats very "all or nothing" and people are fascinated by this. So so different are truly confident in your core. Everything you have now. I know you earned it.

I think people are drawn to you because they enjoy how you make them feel. You are a cheerleader and you ignite so much support in everyone. You can be very demanding but you know this is all for good intentions. People like your honesty and vulnerable sides a lot. But be aware, I see a lot of toxic people lurking around you. I think you will vibe the best with major Leo placements like you or any other fire, especially Aries. You might have a love hate relationship with water placements, especially Water signs as they trigger certain things in you haha. All is good. Your circle is one big fireball love.

— 🤎

Thank you guys for reading it til the end🤎 For more posts like this please be sure to check out my masterlist <3 be sure to reblog if you enjoy this too beautiful!!

love,

saint jenx🪐

[idiomaticpunk]

camp counselor - psh

park seonghwa x reader (she used)

2741 words

enemies to lovers, swearing, cliché but not disgusting.

english is not my first language so tell me if theres any mistakes please and i tried a new thing with the drawing soo

first thing : if you are anti abortion get the fuck out of my page. if you think men should have a right over women's bodies get out. dont think about reading that, don't think about commenting.

Planning an activity for teenagers was complicated. Especially when most of them didn't want to attend this summer camp. They would rather spend the holidays with their friends; or on their phone but definitely not with you. How did you know ? Well, they kindly told you. Younger kids were easier to please: that’s why they were your favorites.

"No but, no offense, but i don't care. My mom sent me here. I don't want to do this.” "Listen, i do not fucking care about your stupid learn archery activity. Leave me alone." (this one definitely got grounded.)

But the worst thing of all, you were paired with Park Seonghwa. It's your third summer together this year. and he was still unbearable. There were 4 other counselors and you had to be paired with HIM to plan the "orienteering race". You did something: he had to check after you to make sure you did it correctly: and you know you did! He had to fix everything you did. You were sure he did it to enrage you.

"If you touch that fucking clue again, i'm making sure you can't use your hands for 2 fucking weeks. Stop "fixing" everything i do." While you were talking, you made quotations ( " ") with your fingers. Seonghwa could definitely feel your glare burning holes in the back of his head, as he was just bending down to " fix " the map you had just put under a stone. "You know, (Y/N), if you did things correctly, i wouldn't need to check.” And that, really kind person he was, to stay polite, looked at you with a smirk. The same smirk that made you hate him the first summer. Honestly, before realizing he was an asshole, you thought he was really pretty. 

“(Y/N), welcome to the team. my name's Tiffany, and i’m the director! Well normally i’m not but the real director is not here so it’s me this summer. It's really great to have new counselors! you’ll be cabin daisy, so cabin number 3.” Tiffany was a really kind, really pretty woman. She’s the one who taught you how to do, well mostly everything. She looked at you with bright eyes before pulling you so you could meet the rest of the counselors. Tiffany whistled with her fingers, something that impressed you so much that you practically begged her to teach you later, “Everyone, this is (Y/N), and she’ll work with you this summer. It’s her first camp, so be nice to her.” When the rest of the counselors turned to face you, your eyes met seonghwa's and damm, he had amazing eyes. He looked like a charming prince. But once he opened his mouth, looking at you with a smirk, you realized he was everything but one. “Her first summer and she’s already late? Says a lot about the character.” You were about to speak up, but his friend, equally  gorgeous, punched him in the shoulder before walking towards you, holding his hand out. “Don’t pay attention to him. It’s our first summer too. My name’s San, cabin 4, and he’s Seonghwa, cabin 5. It’s really nice to meet you, (Y/N).” 

“This didn’t need to be checked! It was perfectly fine, Seonghwa.” You crossed your arms on your chest, arms covering the splendid “fellowship camp” written in white on your blue shirt. You saw his eyes move to your chest, before he raised a brow at you. “Come on, we’ve got plenty more clues to hide and if you keep whining, we’re going to be late to dinner.” With a determined step, you walked up to him, grabbed his bag full of clues that needed to be hidden and shoved it into his chest. “If you hide your clues instead of constantly fixing mine, maybe we can be on time. Now, move.” And for the first time in three years, he listened to you and started walking away, finally hiding his clues. phew.

While walking back to the camp, you realized you couldn’t even wait the end of the camp to stop seeing him, because after your first camp, you noticed he went to your fucking college. You saw him in the corridors the first week of class, and he saw you too, addressing you that fucking smirk while San, the angel he is, waved at you, like he did after everytime he saw you. Side-eyeing him, you definitely did not blush when you noticed that he was already looking at you. Deciding to ignore him, you quickened your pace and rejoined the camp. Surprisingly enough, dinner went well, since it was pizza night, the kids and teens were quite happy, which was nice! Because they were so fucking hard to please so even if y'all had to put money to the table to be able to buy good pizzas, it was worth it.

“Girls, I swear, he kept fixing everything I did !” You were laying on your bed, in your cabin, as she braided her hair, while you were waiting for “your” girls to finish cleaning up the dishes with the boys. If there was one thing that was good about seonghwa, it was that he was smart, you couldn't take that away from him. On the first day of camp, he proposed that half of the monitors would wash the dishes with the kids one day out of two and take care of them for half an hour, so that the other half could have some time to themselves, and the monitors taking a break would alternate every day. So today, Tiffany, Sooyoung were waiting in your cabin, while you complained about Seonghwa. You were about to add a sentence when Tiffany looked at you with a mocking smile. “Girl, for someone that hates Seonghwa, you talk about him a lot. Right, Sooyoung ?” The latter nodded with a smile, turning her head in your direction. “Hm-hm, it’s been 3 years and I still think the same thing.” You sat on your bed, hugging your pillow before frowning. “Sooyoung, what do you mean ?” Seeing that she wasn't going to talk but kept looking at you with a smile, exactly like Tiffany, you frowned even more. “What do you mean, have y’all been talking behind my back about my relationship with Seonghwa??” The blonde, Tiffany, got up from her seat, and put her hand on your shoulder, massaging them, as if she was trying to prepare you for what Sooyoung was about to say. “Noo, but we, and we, as all the counselors, think that you need to make out with each other, so, no more tension between the both of you.” You got up from your seat, threw your arms in the air before looking at both of them frantically. “What ?? Y’all are crazy. I don’t need to make out with him!” 3 knocks on the door before Kibum stuck his head through the crack, one hand in front of his eyes. “Who needs to make out with whom?” You opened the door, wider than he did, frowning your eyebrows. “Nobody needs to make out with nobody, forget about it. Why are you covering your eyes, by the way?”

“Park, fucking, Seonghwa. Wake up.” You banged on the door, almost hysterical, because it was 10AM, and everybody was waiting for him. His kids said that he just woke up with them at 8:30am, and just sent them to the cafeteria. As if they had something against you, your colleagues had charged you to wake him up. “Last call before I enter that room, Park!” No answer, and you pushed the door. And when you entered the cabin “sunflower”, all you saw was your “worst” enemy, looking kinda cute while peacefully sleeping. How did he manage to sleep when you had been banging on the door for 10 minutes straight ? Moving across the room, you put your hand on his shoulder and gently shook it. “Park, wake up, you’re like, one hour and a half late.” He opened one eye, grumbling when he saw that you were the one here. “(Y/N), baby sweet angel love of my life, why do you have to be the first thing I see when I wake up…?” Oh, you definitely did not blush. Even if it was ironic, that was…definitely not hot…, right? “DON’T call me that. Move your ass and get ready in like, you check your amazing and gifted “fellowship camp” watch”, five minutes. MAX.”

Seonghwa was walking behind the kids with San and Kibum, hands in his pockets, eyes still a little puffy from just being woken up. “Why the fuck did Tiffany send (Y/N) to woke me up? You guys couldn’t do it ? Her voice being the first thing I hear when I wake up is like a punishment ” Kibum snorts, and punches Seonghwa’s shoulder. “Dude, I’m sure it’s more of a punishment for her than for you. You keep being rude to her.” San turns over, since he was walking a little bit ahead of Seonghwa and Kibum, nodding. “Not cool, bro.” “I am not rude to her. She’s the one who starts the fights” San and Kibum both share a laugh, before the latter speaks up. “That’s definitely a lie. You were definitely the first one to be rude, and that’s because you don’t know how to flirt…” San laughs while half shouting, fist bumping Kibum while he stares at Seonghwa, apprehending his reaction. “Yeah dude! You know, I’m not flirting with her because of the bro code, but if you don’t make a move right now, I’m pretty sure that dude from her math class is going to do it.” The tall dark haired man looks at San with furrowed brows, before suddenly stepping aside to grab a girl’s arm to prevent her getting her feet in a tree root. “Eun-Hee, be careful! Are you okay?” The girl nods and thanks the counselor, before running off to join her friends. “So, what dude from her class are we even talking about? Jeonghan? The short one?” “Jealous much?”

You and your little group arrived rather quickly: Tiffany had picked a cute plain in the woods for the orienteering race, for which you and seonghwa had hidden clues the day before and all the teens/kids stood in line, listening to the rules. You stood next to Kibum, mindlessly picking at your nails. Kibum slaps your hands, shooting you a mean look before refocusing on Tiffany. Seonghwa suddenly moved behind you, grabbing your hips to move you aside, before jogging to give a kid a tissue. Then he came back, holding the disgusting tissue with the tips of his fingers. “That. Is. Disgusting. Why in the world would he give it back to me?” You fail to hold back a smile and weirdly enough, the brunette smiles back at you. Sooyoung snickers next to you and pinches your arm. You try to ignore her but it’s really hard to when San and Kibum are half laughing too. Tiffany’s loud voice helps you regain some seriousness when she yells your name. “For example, when you find a paper with (Y/N)’s name on it, you bring it to her, it’s a bonus. Got it ? (Y/N) and Seonghwa will be sitting in the middle of the plain while the others will look after you in the woods. Remember, it’s hot, don’t hesitate to ask for water. ” The game starts quickly after, and you found yourself sitting on the grass, next to Seonghwa, of course! 100% she did it on purpose. And he knew it too. ”Well, clearly they want one of us dead.” The brunette starts, while looking at the kids and teens running around in the plain. “I’m going to kill you if you keep being rude to me for no reason, that’s for sure.” You both hold your breath, ready to stand up, when you see a kid falling on another, but quickly calm down as the two of them get up and start running again. “You know, I don’t hate you. Well..I kinda did at first. But you’re not so terrible. I just like to tease you.” You open your mouth to start talking but a Lila comes up to you and gives you a paper. Seonghwa grabs a clue from the bucket next to you and gives it to her with a smile.”I really hate you for that. It’s not good for my self-esteem when you go right after me and change what I've already done. No big deal, but when you do that I want to punch you in the throat.” He smiles, and he sort of looks embarrassed. “Ehh, I’m sorry. Have you ever heard about ponytail pulling flirting?” (hope that sounds right) You turn your head, confused, and brows furrowed. “Seonghwa, what do you mean-” And, he shortly stands up with the emergency backpack in his hands to help the child crying on the floor. 

When you come back to your cabin, the first thing you do is scream in your pillow, while your kids look at you with a weird eye. “Miss (Y/N), are you okay?” You consider explaining your problem to them; but are you really that desperate? “Yes. Don’t worry.”

Tonight is the last night of the camp and the end of summer. Tomorrow is just cleaning, packing and tidying up before leaving. You’re sitting around the fire, hugging a crying teenager. You don’t know why she’s crying, but you can’t let her cry without doing something. “Aww, babe, you’re going to be okay. If you’re sad because the camp is ending, you can come back next year: and if you’re crying over a boy, or a girl, let me tell you they’re not worth it.” She sniffles in your neck, nodding. You pat her back before letting her go, wiping her tears with the back of your palm. Kiara stands up, and somebody sits next to you. You turn your head to see a trembling Seonghwa, and no you’re definitely not exaggerating. “And to say she hated you a month ago.” “You cold, Park?” The brunettes glares at you: rolling his eyes. “Definitely not. I’m definitely not too lazy to go grab my wonderful fellowship camp hoodie.” And in your head, it all flows everywhere. Should you pull a super romantic move and give him your extra large sweater? Or should you laugh and act normal? You know what, fuck it. If something goes wrong, you’ll just change countries. In a swift motion, you take off your hoodie and put it in his lap. It's his turn to look at you strangely. “What? I like my hoodies extra large.” He doesn’t question it, and just pulls it over his head. Pretty sure you heard San, Tiffany, Kibum and Sooyoung not so secretly wolf whistling around the fire. Your hoodie fits a little tight around Seonghwa's broad shoulders, but he doesn’t seem to mind. You try not to think about the fact that his thighs are touching yours a little too much to keep the blood from rushing to your head as the night goes on.

Most kids are crying, and you stand to the side as their families pick them up. The bus of the group arrived only 10 minutes ago in Seoul but only the animators and 3 children remain. Tiffany and Sooyoung are the ones waiting with them, San and Kibum are eating some snacks on the floor while Seonghwa stands really close to you. Suddenly he grabs something from his backpack and puts your hoodie in your arms. “Thanks. It’s a real nice hoodie to sleep in. San and Kibum laughed at me all night but it kept me warm.” You put it in your carry on, nodding, this time not stopping the blood from rushing to your head. You both open your mouth to talk at the same time, earning a laugh for the both of you. “Go on, (Y/N).” You scratch your neck, looking at the kids nervously. “I think we should go out sometimes. Like during Uni? Or maybe on a weekend? Whenever you want, actually, if you’re okay with that.” He stops your rambling with a hand on your arm, trying to hide his smile. “I would love to. I’ll text you when I have my new schedule. Same goes for you?” You nod furiously, grabbing your suitcase before walking towards Jin, who really wanted a hug apparently.

park seonghwa : you free this Wednesday for lunch ?

you : yeah, absolutely ! Let's meet in front of the butterfly coffee, alright?

[peterrparrkerr]

Moodboard for the series (don't judge me I usually do gifs, this was something new. Also, I could not get the collar to look right)

So I meant to upload this yesterday but I lost control of it and then got busy, so here's a little over 3k for you!

Also, tagging @snowstark because this is our baby. Ao3 version here!

Idk what to tag this. Dark themes, spanking, forced to choose a punishment, uuuh, not sure what else. Enjoy!

*-*

Bucky knows when Peter is going to have a hard time adjusting to Tony being gone. It had been close to a year since Bucky started working for Tony, and he's gotten familiar with all of Peter's little quirks.

And he knows the slight pout Peter sports as he waits beside Bucky for Tony to come to the door, means Peter's going to be a slight handful.

But Bucky can handle the teenager. He's been in charge of Peter's safety for long enough. Aside from Tony, Bucky knows how to get Peter to do as he's told.

Tony comes down the stairs, suit tailored and travel bag in hand. "What a sight," he grins. "My pets waiting for me."

Bucky clenches his jaw at that, but he doesnt say anything. Peter though, steps up to the Superior nuzzling into Tony's chest.

"Don't go," Peter whined. Bucky watched with a familiar jealous rock in his gut, but he stays still.

"I'll be back in five days," Tony sighed, kissing the top of Peter's curly hair.

Peter's in a pair of soft blue jean shorts and a faded Yankees sweater, the bottom cut off to show off his midriff.

Tony pushes Peter back a little and smiles fondly down at him, fingers fixing the collar around his puppy's neck, little bell tinkling.

"You be good," Tony orders, leaning down to kiss Peter's pouty lips.

Peter sulks as Tony steps away, towards the door and closer to Bucky.

"I'll be back late," Tony hums, patting Bucky on the cheek. "I'll see you both when I get back."

And with that, Tony's gone. Bucky rubs at his cheek with a slight scowl. Its a new thing, Tony touching him. And Bucky doesn't like it.

Peter spins on his heels the moment the door is shut and storms off, making Bucky sigh explosively before making his way after him.

Alpine slows him down by weaving between his legs, meowing needily.

"Damn cat, go away," he snaps, nearly kicking the thing before remembering she's Peter's.

The door to Peter and Tony's bedroom slams and Bucky sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

So it's going to be like this then. Bucky decides to let Peter wallow on his own. Sooner or later his emotions would get the best of him and he'd come out for comfort. Bucky wouldn't force him to before then.

Its the same song and dance. Peter cries when Tony's gone, he doesn't eat much, and just kind of sulks around the house.

If he were a real puppy, Bucky could just imagine him crying at the door with his tail tucked between his legs, looking extra pathetic.

It was during these days when Tony wasn't around that Peter got a little less obedient.

Most incidents Bucky kept to himself. Little scenes of Peter acting out of his emotions. Tony didn't need to be informed of everything.

The bigger incidences though was definitely taken to Tony. They hadn't had an incident in a while -not since Peter ran out and Bucky got shot.

Peter had been terrified after that, refused to leave the tower even with Buck and Tony there with him.

Tony had punished him good and hard for that -it still makes Bucky's stomach roll at the thought of Tony hitting Peter. Bucky still remembers how small he looked when Tony had guided him back into the penthouse.

His eyes all red, tear tracks down blushed cheeks. He had been trembling slightly. It had made Bucky sick to his stomach.

But Peter hadnt done it again. When Tony left, Peter stayed put.

"Peter, time to eat," Bucky called after knocking on the bedroom door. Peter had been locked in there for most of the two days so far Tony's been gone.

He sulks under his covers, and when he does come out, its with a pout. Something Bucky is used to.

"M'not hungry," comes Peter's petulant response through the door.

"Yes you are, pup," Bucky sighed. "Come on, out with you before I come in there."

"Said I wasn't hungry," Peter spoke, voice raising a little. Bucky cocks an eyebrow, then tries the handle of the door. Its locked.

"Peter, open this door."

"No," Peter said.

"You open this door or I'll kick it down," Bucky threatened. Peter's never locked his door before.

"Do it!" Peter snapped. "Then Tony'll be mad at you and send you to the basement!"

"Oh for fuck's sake," Bucky muttered under his breath.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, override the lock for Peter's door," he says, looking up at the ceiling.

"I am sorry, but the lock is manual, it will have to be unlocked by Peter, Mr. Barnes."

Bucky growls, clenching his teeth.

"Open the door, Peter," he tries again.

"No."

"C'mon, pup, open up," Bucky sighed. He really didn't want to break down the door. What has gotten into Peter? He's never like this.

"Nuh-uh," Peter said. "Leave me alone."

"You know I can't do that, Pete," Bucky huffed.

"I don't need a babysitter," Peter called out. "I can take care of myself. Tony doesn't need you anymore."

"You've got five seconds and then I'm breaking the door down," Bucky said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Peter says nothing. Bucky begins to count. He thinks Peter will crack when he reaches two, but the boy doesn't make a sound.

"Alright, last chance."

Nothing.

Bucky tries the handle once more before stepping back. He lowers his shoulder, ready to drive it into the wood before slamming into the door.

The frame splinters and the door slams into the wall with a deafening crack.

Peter jumps from his spot on the bed, eyes wide and mouth gaping in shock.

"What is going on with you, Peter?" Bucky demands, a little fed up with his behavior. "You've never acted like this before."

Peter's shock falls away to anger, eyebrows furrowing and arms crossing.

"Get out."

"No, you need to tell me why you're acting like a brat," Bucky demanded, crossing his own arms.

"M'not a brat," Peter snipped, little bell sounding as Peter turned his head away from Bucky, glaring at the wall.

"No? 'Cause you seem pretty bratty to me," Bucky challenged.

That gets Peter standing from the bed. "I'm not!"

"I'm not going to fight with a fucking child," Bucky muttered to himself. "Go into the dining room and eat your lunch."

Peter sets his jaw. Its cute. Little thing trying to be tough.

"I said I'm not hungry."

"Well, Tony wants you to eat," Bucky tries. Usually talking about what Tony wants would get Peter to do as he's told. But it doesn't work today.

So Bucky grabs Peter by the upper arm and pulls him out of the room. Peter grunts, digging his heels in, but he's small and doesn't have much muscle.

"Eat," Bucky demands, gesturing to the food he sits Peter down in front of.

Peter glares up at him, though its not as effective as he thinks with his pastel blue tshirt and matching collar.

"I hate you," Peter bites out.

"Good for you, now eat your God damn lunch before I force feed you."

To say the next three days is difficult is an understatement. Bucky has no idea why Peter's acting out the way he is, but he's had enough.

On the fourth day, Bucky actually swatted him! Peter looked up at him with wide eyes, mouth clicking shut. Bucky instantly felt sick, but he forced himself to stand his ground even as hurt and anger filtered through Peter's features.

"You hit me," Peter said. It made Bucky feel even worse, but he didnt back down.

"You're being bad," Bucky said. More anger filtered in, and Peter reached forward to try and shove him.

Bucky caught him by the wrists and Peter yelled loudly, beginning to flail.

"Peter, stop it!" Bucky snapped, pulling the pup in close and pinning him against his chest. He doesn't have room to thrash now.

"I hate you! I hate you!" Peter yelled. Bucky can hear the beginnings of tears in his voice. "I don't want you here! I want- I want Tony!"

Bucky holds Peter as he chokes on his tears, forcing Bucky to carry his weight when Peter stops holding himself up.

Bucky let's him cry it out, walking him to his bedroom. The door still wasn't fixed -Bucky didn't have time, what with Peter acting out.

He deposited Peter onto the bed. "You can come out when you're done being a brat," Bucky said shortly. Peter just fell to his side, wrapping his arms around a pillow and drawing up his legs.

Bucky walked out and flopped onto the couch, leaning his head back and staring up at the ceiling.

Maybe Tony would know what Peter's problem was. Just because he's never acted like this since Bucky moved in doesn't mean its never happened before.

Bucky's never been more glad when Tony arrives the next morning. He's exhausted. Tony -the perceptive bastard- notices right away when Bucky greets him at the elevator.

"What happened," Tony demanded. Bucky let out a sigh, shoulders slumping just a bit. He didnt like feeling like a whiner, and explaining to Tony what the past five days have been like definitely makes him feel it.

"I don't know whats gotten into him," he finishes with. He just wants to sleep for a couple days. He's never felt more like a babysitter than he does now.

"Oh, I do," Tony huffed. Bucky raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "He's jealous."

That throws Bucky for a loop. "Jealous? Of what?" He can't help but demand incredulously.

Tony smiles knowingly and lifts his hand, brushing his fingers over Bucky's jaw, pinching his chin and giving a little shake.

"Of you, pet," Tony hums, looking amused. "He's used to getting my full attention. I think he's feeling a bit misplaced."

Bucky lifts his head, pulling his chin free from Tony's grasp and taking a small step back.

"He's got no reason to be jealous of me," Bucky grunted.

"No?" Tony asked. "Lets go see our puppy then, hmm?"

Bucky frowns as Tony walks past him into the penthouse. Our puppy?

He quickly spins on his heels and follows after Tony. Theres a disapproved hum when Tony notices the door leaning against the door.

"Tony!"

Peter scrambles from the bed, rushing over to Tony and crashing into his chest. Bucky keeps his distance, hands clasped behind his back.

"I missed you."

"I'm sure," Tony hummed. "Bucky told me about your behavior while I was gone."

Bucky winces in sympathy at the tone Tony uses with Peter. The pup steps back from him, brows furrowing.

"I-"

"I don't want any excuses," Tony interrupted. Bucky watched as Peter's demeanor shifted. He knew he was in trouble, he could see it in the way Peter's shoulders slumped.

"Go wait for me in your room," Tony continued. "And when we're gone, we're going to have a talk."

"But, Tony‐" Peter began. Tony grabs him by the arm and yanks him towards the elevator that leads to the basement.

"Go," he snaps, features twisting into a look of anger. Bucky holds his ground, but he wants to rush back out of Tony's line of fire.

Peter shrinks at the tone. He doesn't try again, just makes his way to the elevator, like a dog scurrying out of trouble with his tail between his legs.

"Are you really going to punish him?" Bucky asked, following Tony towards the elevator Peter had just disappeared through. "If he's just acting out of jealousy-"

"His acting out got me a broken door and a puppy with an attitude problem," Tony said. "I brought you here to take care of him while I'm away. His behavior hindered that and that won't do."

Bucky follows Tony into the elevator. He doesn't say anything, just stands beside Tony, watching the floors pass in glowing numbers above the doors.

When they reach the basement floor, the doors open and Tony steps out, already heading for the door that leads to Peter's room.

"Come on, pet," Tony calls over his shoulder. Bucky's legs work without him, taking him out of the elevator and into the main room.

"I'm not a pet," Bucky grunted. Tony glances over his shoulder, smirking. His blue eyes shining with amusement.

"I beg to differ," Tony hummed, before reaching a hand out and clasping Bucky by the back of the neck.

Bucky allows the Superior to pull him closer as they make their way to the door.

Buck decides not to argue the issue. Better to keep on Tony's good side.

Tony opens the door, and Bucky's eyes widen at the sight of Peter on the bed, naked. Hes on his elbows and knees, pert little ass up in the air.

He's hidden his face in his arms, and doesn't realize Bucky is here with Tony.

"He does paint a pretty picture, doesn't he?" Tony murmurs lowly, arm still wrapped around Bucky's shoulders, nosing at Bucky's jaw.

"I can leave," Bucky says lowly, glancing from Peter to Tony.

"No, I want you here," Tony decides, shutting the door. Bucky chews on his inner cheek, staying close to the door as Tony walks over to the wall of -Bucky feels his stomach drop. He doesn't know if he can watch this.

"M'sorry," Peter whines, turning his head to see Tony at the wall.

"I know you are," Tony said, looking over the items hanging on the wall. Bucky's never seen so many switches and floggers before.

"But that doesn't change the fact that you were a bad puppy."

Peter's breath hitches and he hides his face again. Bucky watches Tony pick out a flat leather paddle from the wall. One of the less intimidating items hanging on the wall.

"How many hits do you think he deserves?" Tony says, catching both Peter and Bucky off guard. Peter's head turns, wide eyes locking onto him before he seems to shrink, hiding his face away again, but not leaving the position Tony most likely trained him to be in.

It takes Bucky a moment to realize Tony was talking to him, and he blinks, looking over at the Superior. "What?"

"You had to deal with his poor behavior for five days, so you decide his punishment," Tony said.

Bucky looks wide eyed at Peter, pale and naked except for the baby blue collar around his neck. He shakes his head.

"Come on, pet," Tony goads. "What does he deserve?"

Bucky hears Peter whimper at that and he feels his skin crawl. He shakes his head again, feeling sick. "I can't."

Tony's mouth drops in a frown, looking disappointed. Bucky doesn't care. He can't.

"Fine," he hums. "Then fifty hits."

Peter lifts his head, breath hitching and tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Ten for each day."

Bucky feels his throat closing up.

"N-no," Peter sobbed. "No, please, Tony!"

Tony looks at Bucky, challenging glint in his Extremis blue eyes. "Bucky doesn't want to choose, so I'm chosing for him, puppy."

Peter turns to look at Bucky, pleasing with a trembling breath.

Bucky digs his nails into his palms. He looks from Peter to Tony, then back to Peter.

If Bucky chooses a lower number, Tony may not agree to it. But Bucky doesn't want Peter being hit -especially in front of him.

"Twenty," he manages to say, unsticking his throat. His voice is tense, body rigid and hands clasped behind him. Outwardly, he looks calm and collected, but inside he wants to do nothing but run out of the basement.

Tony doesn't say anything for a moment, and Bucky's sure its just as long for Peter as it is for him.

"Alright, twenty it is," Tony agrees. Bucky feels the muscles in his shoulders unwind a little at that.

"Count them out, pup."

Its the worst few minutes of Bucky's life. He served tours over seas. He's killed people with his bear hands and lost an arm, and he'd go through all of that ten times if it meant he didn't have to be in the same room as Tony and Peter right now.

Each smack has Bucky's pulse spiking, each sobbed out count down like agony. Its a punishment all its own to be forced to stand by while Peter cries, the loud smack of leather on skin filling the room.

The worst thing is Bucky is the reason he's got twenty spanks in the first place. Sure, its less than fifty, but he's still the one who offered a number.

Bucky doesn't even care anymore about Peter's behavior. He just wants Tony to stop.

Peter's ass is just as red as his face, and his breath hitches on cries, but the boy doesn't move. Bucky has no doubt if he had, the punishment would be far worse.

"Twen-twen'y," Peter finally gasps out wetly, dropping onto the bed.

Bucky restrains himself from rushing over there and scooping the boy up. His nails dig painfully into his palms.

He watches Tony do it instead. Watches as Tony's hand turns soft, scooping Peter up and settling him onto his lap, careful of his poor bottom.

Tony smooths Peter's curls from his forehead, muttering lowly against Peter's cheek as the boy cries, arms lifting to wrap around Tony's shoulders.

Tony glances up at Bucky and nods. "Come here, pet."

Bucky's too concerned with Peter to argue the pet name. He makes his way over to the bed in three long strides and sits down beside Tony and Peter.

Peter peeks out from Tony's neck, eye red rimmed. His breath hitches.

"M'sorry, Bucky," he cries, voice reedy and wobbling with tears.

"Thats alright, Pete," Bucky said softly.

Peter tucks himself back into Tony's neck, allowing the Superior to smooth his hands up and down Peter's bare back.

"Go with with Bucky, pup," Tony says a moment later, once Peter's tears have tapered off a little. Bucky's eyes widen at that, but he can't do much else, because Peter's crawling out of Tony's lap and settling into his own.

Bucky doesn't know what to do. He's wearing cargo pants, and he can't help but worry they're too rough for Peter.

And then he's stuck on the fact that he's got a very naked Peter in his lap. The boy leans into Bucky's chest, head resting on his shoulder.

Bucky settles a hand on Peter's lower back -as low as he dares- and rubs circles into his skin.

"I think its time we had a little talk," Tony said, looking first at Peter, then at Bucky.