(Not part of any of my AU´s) I sometimes wonder how would things go if Le´s friends knew about the whole Egyxos thing, so have some dumb/crack incorrect quotes.
Leo: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Bernie: I burned my tongue once while drinking tea.
Dale: I once dropped a hair dryer on my leg and burned it.
Ramses: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Horus: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and got a bad burn.
Kefer:
Kefer: I have emotional scars.
-
Sobeck: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Bernie: Nope, absolutely not.
Dale: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Leo: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Isis: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
Neith: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.
-
Leo: I CAN'T DO IT!
Bernie, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Leo: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Dale: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Leo:
Leo: I appreciate it,
Leo: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Kefer: Leo-
Leo: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Horus: Leo we gotta-
Leo: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Leo: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Leo, motioning to Ramses: NOT FUCKING THIS
-
Leo: Hewwo.
Bernie: Hihiiiiii!
Dale: Greetings, Egyptians.
Horus: Three kinds of people.
Kefer: I want cake.
Leo: Four kinds of people.
Ramses: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS?
Horus: Five kinds of people.
-
Bernie: Come on, Mr. Kefer! How many times do I have to apologize?
Kefer: Once!
Bernie: ...No.
-
Bernie: Can you name a single city in Oklahoma?
Ramses: Oklahoma City, bitch!
-
Dale: Anyone d-
Leo: Depressed?
Hyksos: Drained?
Neith: Dumb?
Kefer: Disliked?
Dale: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...
-
Kefer: That sounds like a terrible plan.
Dale: Oh, we've had worse.
-
(some LGBT headcanons ahead BOY!)
Ramses: I know you love them.
Dale: I am not in love with Leo!
Ramses, staring at Dale: I never said who...
Dale: *realizes*
Dale: Shit. Well, anyways-
-
Ramses: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house.
Bernie: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?
-
Kefer: I dropped Leo.
Dale: Kefer, what the fuck.
-
Ramses: All in all, a 100% successful trip.
Dale: But we lost Kefer.
Ramses: All in all, a 100% successful trip!
-
Leo: Does anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?
Ramses: Can't relate.
Dale: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?
-
Leo: Dale is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in their entire life!
Horus: Never done anything wrong?! They set a city block on FIRE!
-
Dale: What’s your biggest fear?
Kefer: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone.
Leo: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.
Bernie: Zombies.
Kefer: ...
Leo: ...
Bernie: BUT they can open doors.
-
Kefer: Dale just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.
-
Leo: How would you like your pancakes?
Horus and Hyksos: Plain. Ramses: With strawberries, please.
Dale: With sprinkles! Neith: Ice cream on the top.
Bernie: Chocolate chips.
Apis: Potatoes.
*Everyone looks at Apis*
Apis: What? They're good.
-
Wanna add some too?
I looooove these
Ummm
Ramses: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Dale
Horus: You just did it again
Dale:
Ramses: I am not a good role model
☆ ☆ ☆
Hyksos: *on Earth to check up on the Trio* Hello, I just came to-
Hyksos: *sees Leo shoving Dale into the washine machine while Bernie records and Ramses watches*
Hyksos: *retreating* Something suddenly came up
☆ ☆ ☆
Kefer: You've got to learn to love yourself
Leo: But don't you hate yourself?
Kefer: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused
☆ ☆ ☆
Apis: What are your three best qualities?
Leo: I'm hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends
☆ ☆ ☆
Bernie: Woah! That's the longest worm I've ever seen!
Kha: That's a snake
☆ ☆ ☆
Kha: Hyksos, no.
Hyksos: Hyksos, yes!
☆ ☆ ☆
Kefer: I'm going to need you to swear-
Leo: Fuck
Kefer:
Kefer: ...swear as in promise
☆ ☆ ☆
Bernie, holding a kettle: cofee or tea?
Neith: Tea
Bernie: Wrong. It's cofee
☆ ☆ ☆
Dale: Isn't this a bit dangerous?
Leo: Dale, please. We've been in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt.
Dale: ...
Leo: Ok, we sometimes escape unhurt.
Dale: ...
Leo: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves in the way home.
☆ ☆ ☆
Hyksos: Guess what number I'm thinking of!
Kha, rolling his eyes: 420?
Hyksos: No, that's really inmature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously
Bernie: 69
Hyksos: Yeah, it was 69
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DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game
Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter.
Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.
The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge.
And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).
And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game.
Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.
(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).
After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely).
Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.
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TLT Dash Simulator pt 3
🪦 crossedrhodes Follow
just found out my gf died 7 months ago and ive been being catfished by some necromancer using her beguiling corpse i hope the devils get me
💊 heptanary-secretary Follow
omg imagine the meetcute tho... op talk to the necro
🐮 hucowjimin Follow
OP has powerful necro baddies in his area and is abt to fumble due to the grief
( 577 notes )
🦴 femur-i-hardly-know-er Follow
( 18,012 notes )
🗝️ darkjackgaius Follow
my horny ass could never be a flesh magician
🗝️ darkjackgaius Follow
easy website.
( 41,902 notes )
💣 fuckable-fascists-bracket Follow
📜 sarpedonefang1rl Follow
and whos fucking surprised. of course the recency bias strikes again
⚜️ awes-ashtray
Some1 is angry their old man bias is unfuckable 💀💀💀 Argue with the wall.
#a vote for awe is a vote against coquetteposters #the fact that therez an entire fandom for the weirdo oldhead fascies is soooo craz to me ngl. #we r voting on most fuckable here. that is da blogs point. #your blorbo is geriatric his dick dont work :(
( 6,192 notes )
🐱 cohortcatgirl Follow
I’ve seen a lot of bad information circulating about what happens when the cohort converts a thalergenic planet to a thanergy planet so I wanted to clear up some misconceptions ^u^
Converting a planet does NOT make it unable to sustain life. If thanergenic planets couldn't sustain life, no1 would be able to live on the nine houses!!!
The wildlife does NOT get mutated. How would that even work? I stj people they don't hurt the wildlife, they only affect the planets! The 'varmints have best friends' campaign is honestly just in bad faith :((
Devils are NOT real and if they were you should really stop posting about their tongues [weird!] U guys really cannot tell what is and isn't fearmongering these days and itz kind of concerning ngl
Keep reading
💀 towerofficial ☑️
worth a read :)
🐱 cohortcatgirl Follow
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#HAIII MR UNDYING :3
(9,114 notes )
⛓️ siphonslut
being held down by my bone magician's constructs is something spiritual fr. skeledoms there is a special place for you in the emperor's eyes 😩😩😩
#nsft #c4n #cav4necro #osseoromantic
( 241 notes )
👤 is-the-emperor-undying-dead-yet-deactivated-2917483
nope.
💀 towerofficial ☑️
It's in the name how are you guys not getting this by now
👤 is-the-emperor-undying-dead-yet-deactivated-2917483
💀 towerofficial ☑️
mods can we ban this guy
( 12,187 notes )
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TAZ Dashboard Simulator 2 (Part 1)
🔥 lup-da-lup Follow
be back soon 💋 im gonna go fight this guy for my relic
🔥 lup-da-lup Follow
Ubmrella
#girl help #im trapped
(7 notes)
In your orbit!
🪩 avi-the-ball-guy
↻ woe-is-johann
🤼 best-fantasy-prowrestler-tournament Follow
Round 4: Semi-Finals
Jeff Angel Propaganda:
from @.ango-mcdango: I <3 JEFF ANGEL HE’S SO COOL AND HE ALWAYS CALLS HIS DAD
Jess the Beheader Propaganda:
from @.bagnus-murnsides: jess literally has a dope ass axe
#jess sweep
(379 notes)
🚀 cap-n-port
↻ you-know-from-tv Follow
┌───────────────────┐
😎 Anonymous asked:
Your captain looks gnc as fuck
└───────────────────┘
👖 lactosewarrior5000
YOU'RE INSANE
#Thank you very much!
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🐱 Sponsored by Fantasy Costco
You Don’t Need All of Your Blood; Here’s Why
The Director doesn’t want you to know this…
🎻 woe-is-johann
↻ avi-the-ball-guy
🪩 avi-the-ball-guy
cannonball system liveblog
🪩 avi-the-ball-guy
ball
🪩 avi-the-ball-guy
ball
🪩 avi-the-ball-guy
other. ball
#babe we gotta get you a fidget toy or something #clearly you're getting bored at work
(23 notes)
📔 sheesh-creesh
↻ lup-da-lup Follow
💋 lesbian-orc-lover Follow
lucretia was 18 when the ipre mission left??!? she should've been at the club!!
✨ you-know-from-tv Follow
oh trust me one of the planes we went to was a giant disco and lucy was freakin it sensitive style day and night
🔥 lup-da-lup Follow
real footage of lucretia at the club ↑↑
#I'm actually going to kill both of you #mutuals #queue never know what you'll find #reblogs
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❄️ neverwinter-heritage-posts
↻ magic-brian-with-an-i Follow
┌───────────────────┐
🚂 jerreeeeee asked:
is magnus burnsides gay??
└───────────────────┘
📖 dailycalebcleveland
why would you ask us, a caleb cleveland blog, this
#neverwinter heritage posts
(109,837,936 notes)
🧣 weaver-of-fate
↻ raven-queen-official
🐦⬛ raven-queen-official
i loev my beaugifyl wife so muchnohmygod
🐦⬛ raven-queen-official
where is smy wife i wanst to see herh
🐦⬛ raven-queen-official
hiiiiiiiidjiiii omg shge. is here :D
#apologies guys we hung out with pan and she got FUCKED up #you know how poker nights get #wife tag
(74 notes)
🐦 7-bird-watcher
↻ not-a-shitty-wizard Follow
🪄 mage-guy-19274637 Follow
people who actually like bugs are absolute freaks
🕷️ magic-brian-with-an-i Follow
wrong! spider attack
🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️
#sent to me
(6,074 notes)
🌈 lucretiaadventurezone
hi
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