#(spoiler for the maths finale) 7 eats 9

[locusfandomtime]

The maths fandom is wild. “Real” and “imaginary” numbers? I think you mean canon and non-canon. You guys seriously go “this is my number oc his name is i and he is the square root of -1” when in numbers canon lore it’s actually impossible to square root a negative but sure whatever. “Complex numbers”? I think you mean a character x oc ship. “f(x) = 3x - 5”? That is self-insert fanfiction.

[angelsdevils]

Time Zone:

Warning: There are some SPOILERS Note: This story will only be on my Wattpad and AO3 which are usernames Aurora_Petals. If you see anyone claiming this plot as their own let me know. I do NOT own the characters. KoFi not mandatory but donations are appreciated!

Tag List: @omakeomuomu @thisbicc @galactict3a @6-022-10-23 @bontensbabygirl @smkandfire @artemis1862 @oikawascutie

Masterlist Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Final |

Kazutora's POV:

I stood in front of the judge as he looked through my list of felonies. He was shaking his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose. I can tell he hated giving minors a long sentence and I felt so guilty. I honestly deserved everything I have coming. I have made so many mistakes in my life, and I was only 15. The world would be better if I wasn’t here, the last mistake I made was killing my closest friend who stuck by my side for years. That was starting to eat me up, and I felt sick. 

“I will sentence you to 10 years at Tokyo Detention Center for Juveniles. If you break even one rule your sentence will be extended. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir,”

“You will also be required to join a support group program, starting today. I expect you to do every activity they tell you. Dismissed.” I was led out of the courtroom and placed on a bus that was full of troublemakers like me. Though I doubt their sentence was as long as mine. Hell, it’s not long enough. 

I leaned my head against the window as I waited for us to arrive. It wasn’t long before we arrived, leaving the bus in an orderly fashion. When it was my turn to get off I was led inside and provided a schedule.

“These are your schedules every day. Nothing changes on the weekends, accept your classes.” One of the officers yelled at us and I looked over mine. Pretty mundane. 

5:30 AM Wake up

6:00 AM Breakfast

7:00 AM Scrub their apartan dormitories

8:30 AM Classes (Math, Art, History, Geography)

11:00 AM Recreational time

12:00 Lunch

12:30 Excercise led by a drill master

1:00 Support group 

2:30 Recreational time

4:00 Showers

5:00 Dinner

6:00 Private time

7:00 Bedtime

We were handed our grey uniforms and instructed to change immediately. I did as I was told, thoughts on nothing but my past mistakes. Once we changed, I was instructed to go straight to my support group. I folded the paper in my pocket and was led to the room by another officer. It was a silent walk, which only left me to my devilish thoughts. I walked in and all eyes fell on me. I looked around before the officer spoke. 

“Ms. Fujioka, you have a new one. He will be under you for the next 10 years.” 

I heard someone whistle, knowing it was one of the other inmates and she nodded her head. 

“Alright, please take your seat in one of the free chairs. Why not introduce yourself?” She asked after the guard left. I sat down away from everyone and looked around before looking at her. 

“My name is Kazutora Hanemiya… I am 15 years old, and I am here for~a lot of things.” I mumbled looking down. 

“Well, I won’t force you to talk about it right now… but I do want you to acknowledge what you have done. Maybe written on paper, and explain what you think were the leading factors.” I nodded my head and she smiled before turning back to everyone. 

“You came in at the perfect timing…” 

“What do you mean?” I asked confused and the guy nodded his head towards Ms. Fujioka. 

“As I was saying, we are trying something new out. We know, that people your age don’t want to talk with people older than you. So we thought, as a way to open up about your life and to still keep you connected to the outside world, we are going to be doing a pen pal kind of deal. Now it’s not always going to be someone in Japan. We work with so many schools across the world. So they may be somewhere overseas. They will have your profiles, no pictures just a name, age, and birthday. If they choose you, we will let you know. And will probably receive your first letter within a few weeks. Sometimes, longer maybe sooner. Any questions?”

“So, we have no idea who we are writing?” One person asked, and I leaned against my hand. I was slightly interested but I doubt I would have been chosen. I sigh softly as she spoke again.

“Nope, unless they send a picture you will have no idea. You are the first group we have decided to try this with. So it’s a test run, if it works then we will be keeping it in place. If not we will go back to our boring lectures as we did before.”

“So, that means we won’t have to deal with lectures during this period?” The guy next to me asked and she shook her head.

“Nope, but you will be telling me what you learned about your person. I hope you guys get letters soon. For anyone who doesn’t get a letter, we will keep your file open for other schools to eventually choose from. Kazutora, if you have any questions do let me know. You can spend the rest of this session, writing your small essay.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” She got up and walked to the other inmates, and the one beside me ended up talking. 

“My name is Sato Toshiaki, but people call me Toshi. Been here for a couple of years now.” 

“Oh, nice to meet you…I guess.” 

“No need to be cold might as well make friends while you are here. Since you will be here for 10 years.” 

“Yeah, I guess. Honestly, should be here longer.” 

“Well, the way I see it. You know what you did was fucked up, so that’s the first step. According to Ms. Fujioka, so might as well accept it.”

“Mm, I guess…” I mumbled as I worked on my essay. It was quiet for the rest of the session. 

The day had gone by so fast, that I didn’t even realize it was time for bed. Turned out I was stuck with Toshi, who talks a lot. When it was time for the lights to go out, I lay in bed staring at the top bunk. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was but after the day I had, it was a given I would be tired. Yet I could barely sleep because of the events, between Baji’s death, and the fight with Toman, Mikey, Mikey’s brother. Everything. It was becoming too much for me to handle. 

© [@angelsdevils] all rights reserved. none of my posts or stories should be modified, reposted, etc. I do not own the character or the fanart, but I own the plots of these stories. All fanart goes to their appropriate owners.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #174

Y’know what? It’s the america anniversary, and it’s FGO’s anniversary too. Let’s celebrate a bit. Here’s a build early, we’ll be back on schedule on the sixth.

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the precious cinnamon bun who just wants to ruin the environment, Berserker of Learning with Manga! For this build, we’ve got three goals; grow big, grow bigger, and grow biggest. Expect spoilers with her build breakdown below the cut, and slightly fewer spoilers in her character sheet over here!

Next up: Give me a sign~ Build me Nero one more time!

Paul Bunyan is a Rune Knight fighter to grow bigger while helping her friends, a Giant Soul Sorcerer to grow bigger while stepping on stuff, and a Totem Warrior Barbarian to smash things good with Babe’s help.

Race and Background

Pauly B was made out of Udon dough, and as a result she’s a Custom Lineage, giving her +2 Strength and a size of Small. She also get proficiency with Animal Handling, and the Magic Initiate feat to pick up some spells from the wizard spell list. Shape Water is just the beginning of your settling abilities, and Thunderclap is a single step for you. You also get Find Familiar to pick up Babes.

Aside from that, you are America’s pioneering spirit made manifest, so you’re an Outlander. This gives you proficiency with Athletics and Survival.

Ability Scores

You’re a glass cannon, so make sure your Strength is as high as you can get it. After that is Charisma- you’re only here because you were so popular in the book, after all. Your Dexterity comes next so you don’t die wearing denim armor. After that is Constitution. You might be a glass cannon, but a building-sized body is still pretty hard to take down. Your Intelligence isn’t amazing, but we’re dumping Wisdom. You’re a berserker anyway, but you also came from a comedy manga. That’s going to hurt your sense of reality.

Class Levels

1. Barbarian 1: Starting out here gets you as much health as we can, as well as proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves and two barbarian skills. Being nine hundred feet tall helps with Intimidation, and you gotta know a bit about Nature if you’re going to tear it down as effectively as you do.

You also get Unarmored Defense, making your AC 10 + your dexterity mod + your constitution mod when you’re just wearing denim. Your Rage transforms you for a minute as a bonus action. It gives you advantage on strength based saves & checks, extra damage on strength based attacks, and resistance to standard weapon damage. When you’re big enough to drink from a great lake, swords don’t do much.

2. Barbarian 2: Second level barbs can make Reckless Attacks, getting advantage now at the cost of giving other creatures advantage against you. Berserkers are not well known for their defensive power, but this will make up for you using such a heavy weapon while small.

That being said, Danger Sense gives you advantage on dexterity saves against effects you see coming. When you can step across the entire battle map in one go, fireballs are easy to avoid.

3. Fighter 1: First level fighters start things off right with a Fighting Style, and grabbing the superior technique style to make one Trip Attack per short rest is a great way to have enemies shouting timber.

You also get a Second Wind, letting you hang out and eat some beans as a bonus action, healing you 1d10+your fighter level HP.

4. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get an Action Surge to help you perform supernatural feats in a single turn. Now you can add on an extra action to your turn once per short rest.

5. Fighter 3: Our last level of fighter unlocks your martial archetype, the Rune Knight! The big reason we’re here is for Giant Might, spending a bonus action to grow Large, also giving you advantage on strength checks and saves, and you also deal extra damage once per turn while attacking. You can transform this way Proficiency times per long rest.

You can also carve Runes into weapons, armor, and jewelry. You get two runes, and can carve them into one item each at the end of a long rest. The Frost rune gives its wearer advantage on Animal Handling and Intimidation checks. The Fire rune doubles the wearer’s proficiency bonus with tools. Once per short rest per rune, they can also be invoked for extra power. The frost rune gives its wearer +2 on all strength and constitution saves and checks, while the fire rune forces a strength save against being restrained by fiery shackles, dealing damage each turn and restraining the target, when you hit it with a weapon attack. The DC for that save is 8 + proficiency + constitution.

6. Sorcerer 1: We might be done with fighter, but we’re not done multiclassing! First level sorcerers get Spells they can cast using their charisma. Thanks to an old unearthed arcana, you can be a Giant Soul sorcerer , granting you Jotun Resilience for slightly more HP; 1 extra per sorcerer level. The Mark of the Ordning also grants you extra low-level spells, like Heroism and Shillelagh. Neither of those are really useful to you, but they’re free, and not why we’re here.

For spells that are in character, grab Mold Earth, Create Bonfire, and Light to spruce up the wilderness and make it your own. You can also use True Strike to chop down trees, but that’s dumb, just make two attacks. For first level spells, Earth Tremor and Thunderwave are you stepping around. The former knocks people prone and makes the ground a big crater, the latter pushes them and objects away from you.

7. Sorcerer 2: This level isn’t that complicated, but you do become a Font of Magic for some Sorcery points that come in handy later. You can also cast Catapult to throw stuff around. Sadly, the maximum weight is only 5 pounds, but you can always just throw stuff yourself.

8. Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers get two Metamagic options to personalize your spells using sorcery points. Extended Spell will help out with a certain buff we’re getting this level, extending the length of the spell. You’re also big enough that your spell ranges should grow to match, so grab Distant Spell as well.

This level you can Hold Person, which you tend to take more literally than most casters. After the target fails a wisdom save, they’re paralyzed until they make one. While paralyzed, all attacks are made with advantage, and melee attacks are auto-crits.

Alternatively, you can use the Mark of the Ordning spell, Enlarge/Reduce to make yourself even bigger than usual. (Giant Might explicitly grows to large, so you have to start with that if you want to stack them.)

9. Barbarian 3: After spending half our build elsewhere, we can finally return to our starting class! Third level barbarians set down the Path of the Totem Warrior, letting you use your connection to Babe to pick up all sorts of goodies as we level up.

Immediately, you become a Spirit Seeker, letting you cast Beast Sense and Speak with Animals as rituals to really get into the Babe mindset.

Babe also becomes your Totem Spirit, so we’ll be taking the Elk options whenever possible. Right now, that gives you an extra 15′ of movement while raging. It’s not quite the whole nation in a step, but it’s a start.

10. Barbarian 4: At tenth level, we finally get our first Ability Score Improvement, so round up your Strength and Dexterity for better attacks and a better AC.

11. Barbarian 5: Fifth level barbarians finally get their Extra Attack each attack action, and your Fast Movement adds another 10′ to your movement speed, regardless of whether or not you’re raging.

12. Barbarian 6: Sixth level totem warriors get an Aspect of the Beast, doubling the travel pace for yourself and up to 10 companions. They can just ride on your shoulders, it’s fine.

13. Barbarian 7: Your Feral Instinct gives advantage on initiative rolls, and you can ignore being surprised if you rage at the start of the fight. Raging right away might not be the best option, but that’s for the casters to figure out. You’ve got land development to get to.

You can also use an Instinctive Pounce to move half your movement speed towards an enemy as part of your bonus action when you rage.

14. Barbarian 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Constitution for better runes and more health. You’re pretty squishy for a barbarian, but I guess that’s to be expected, considering what you’re made of.

15. Barbarian 9: Your first Brutal Critical adds an extra die to your critical damage rolls. Big kid, big axe, big damage. Simple math.

16. Barbarian 10: As a Spirit Walker, you can Commune with Nature as a ritual, summoning a cool spirit Babe to tell you stuff about the world around you.

17. Barbarian 11: Your Relentless Rage gives you a case of Guts, letting you make a DC 10 constitution save to avoid dropping to 0 HP, dropping to 1 instead if you succeed. Afterwards, the DC grows by 5, but it resets on short rests. You shouldn’t be getting guts at all, so be grateful.

18. Barbarian 12: Use your last ASI to bump up your Dexterity again for less getting hit. Healing’s nice, but avoiding the damage in the first place is way better.

19. Barbarian 13: You get another round of Brutal Criticals, for another extra die of damage on crits.

Not exactly rocket surgery, huh?

20. Barbarian 14: Your final level gives you your final barbarian goody! Your Totemic Attunement lets you move through a large or smaller creature’s space as a bonus action. It forces a strength save, or the creature is stepped on, knocking it prone and dealing damage.

Pros:

Thanks to your speed, size, and action surge, you can cover a lot of ground very quickly. With 55 feet of movement, two dashes, and an instinctive pounce, you can cover ~195 feet in a single round. Aside from that, your size gives you mobility options that aren’t available to others. Standing around 15′ tall will do that for ya.

You’ve got some solid swings with your axe, letting you deal plenty of damage in a single swing. Bring down the hammer on a natural 20 to blast through those doors. At your biggest you can deal 1d12+1d6+1d4+4 damage. That’s not a smite, but you can do this every turn while enlarge is up.

You get just enough spells to apply a lot of utility to your build, altering the landscape and messing with enemy movement to help out your team.

Cons:

Due to how we leveled up, your first ASI doesn’t come until level 10. If you roll poorly, that might be a problem.

I wouldn’t call you squishy by any means, but you do make for a big target, with your huge size and an AC of only 15 making you easy pickings even before you start getting reckless.

Most of your abilities are tied to your rage, but your biggest size is tied to your spells. They don’t play nice. Even worse, it’s a flavor fail- you can’t trample over people if you’re at your biggest size. (On a semi-related note: being big and being a barbarian have a lot of overlap. Both giant might and raging give you advantage on strength stuff, so having both up is sort of a waste.)

[deardragonbook]

A post about foreshadowing (Spoilers for Out of Body Experience)

It’s in the title, but I’m going to repeat this, this has major spoilers for Out of Body Experience, you want to read that? Do that first. It’s free, it’s best binged and it’s relatively short. 

Onto the foreshadowing this story uses. 

So, if you haven’t read OfBE, it’s a short novel that takes place in a world where some people get genetical mutations that cause them to develop powers. This would be pretty cool if not for the fact that said mutations attract monsters to your location. Because of this the government found a perfectly functional system where people with this mutation go to a so-called base where they have all their needs met and will study, work, basically it’s a tiny society of magic users. 

The mutation usually becomes evident when you’re older, but there are exemptions. It’s also inherited, so most magic parents know their kids will probably join them. 

This novel starts with a group of girls, most importantly among them is Abigail and Ella. They are enjoying a birthday party and a monster attacks, Ella escapes and Abigail does not. 

We see Ella take the mutation test and come out as positive, thereby having to leave her mother behind to go off to the base. 

The whole novel follows Ella integrating into the base, making her new found family with Lucas and Benjamin. As well as her first mission. Throughout the novel Ella is supposedly seeking out her powers, she know she has magic but claims not to know what those powers are. 

The grand reveal at the very end is she does know. She knows, and those powers are that she can switch bodies with someone she looks in the eyes. The reveal is that Ella isn’t Ella at all, she’s Abigail, and Ella died in her place. 

This reveal is the climax of the story. It’s what everything is leading up to. So what’s everything? Foreshadowing. I don’t know how I can explain foreshadowing, so instead I’m just going to show you. 

1.- In the first Chapter it starts off focusing on Abigail, the final paragraph reads: 

And reflected in those green eyes, she saw the monster pounce and her body fall limp to the ground.

It seems like just creative writing until you know the ending and suddenly it's literal. She looked her friend in the eyes, effectively changing bodies and then saw her own body fall limp to the ground.

2.- In Chapter 1, they point out that it’s Abigail’s birthday she’s nine and is the oldest. Making Ella still eight. 

In chapter 2, she need to think about her age before responding to Benjamin. 

He smiled, "sure, Ella. How old are you?"

A pause, "eight."

And in chapter 4 she straight up says the wrong age when speaking to Lucas. 

“Well, duh, what are you like, five?”

“Nine.” She scrunched up her nose in offence.

3.- In Chapter 2 her mother is shown to be attentive and caring, despite this she doesn’t seem to know her daughter’s favourite food. 

“How about your favourite, spinach and eggs?”

Ella’s nose scrunched up when her mother had her back turned, “sure.”

Later, Ella moved the food from one side of the plate to the other, anything to put off eating it.

Of course not, because that’s not her daughter. This also explains why Ella is happy and almost in a hurry to leave the household, in a new society where nobody knows her, pretending is going to be way easier. 

4.- In Chapter 4 we get this scene: 

She sat down and opened up the notebook, there was very neat and small cursive writing, decorated with stickers. Ella held back tears as she flipped to the first blank page and wrote down the date. Then she wrote her name. Her full name, then a description, both physical and personality. Then a list of likes, dislikes, favourite things.

We see her sad, mourning the death of her friend and we see her working to keep up an act. And if that wasn’t enough in Chapter 9: 

She handed back the paper with it’s neat blocky writing about magic and politics.

Blocky writing is basically the alternative to cursive in case anybody didn’t know.

5.- In Chapter 6 she starts school: 

In the classroom Ella was promising. She was invested and eager to learn. Especially geography, history and sciences.

Her numbers were not great, she could barely count much less do anything math related, which was unusual given her good scores prior to her magic.

Again, with context, makes perfect sense. Not the same person, not the same strong na dweak points. 

In that same chapter she had a very awkward conversation with her “mother”. 

“I know what’ll help.”

“What?”

Her mother pulled out a small stuffed cat and handed it to her.

“Mr Whiskers,” she took it slowly, looking down into its eyes.

“I don’t know how you forgot!”

“Guess there were bigger things on my mind.”

This is obviously just a snippet. Another snippet: 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Still, she didn’t look up.

Her mother knelt down, trying to peer under her hair and eyelashes.

Ella looked away.

Her mother moved her hand to her cheek to try and move her head. But Ella closed her eyes tight. “Mother, please.”

It’s pretty obvious why she doesn’t want to look her in the eyes. 

6.- Something spread out more around the book is the fact Ella never looks anybody in the eyes. At no point in the story does it reference her making eye contact and it often references her looking away, turning or staring at the ground. 

7.- Also throughout the whole story Ella talks about not wanting to find her powers and about how it’s not important and... well, makes sense when you consider she knows her power set and doesn’t care for them. 

8.- In Chapter 9 she straight up uses those powers to kill a wolf. 

Growling.

She bit her lower lip and grabbed a stick that was close to her hand. She turned slowly to see the blueish wolf. A monster.

She held the stick up slowly; her eyes were wide. She looked straight at the monster in seeming shock.

Then the monster pounced, but not at Ella, it got the stick she held up stuck in its mouth painfully. It looked Ella in the eyes and the shock was over. She found her knife and stabbed the wolf, standing over it as the blue became red.

“Abel!” she called.

Except, it’s never specifically stated. 

And there is probably more, but I’m going to leave this here because that was the main point. 

Foreshadowing is doing the thing without saying you’re doing the thing. 

All of these stuff are pretty mundane and not noteworthy on their own, but with context they change. And if you’ve been paying attention (the reason I always recommend this series be binged) the revelation is the buildup of all these small details. 

Good foreshadowing makes re-reads way more fun by the way! 

In one of the chapters Ella reacts quite badly to Abigail’s father, she cries and is taken away. Re-reading knowing that he isn’t the father of a friend but her own father, it hits different. And that’s the goal of this short novel! 

I know this post was long but, I love foreshadowing and sometimes I just don’t know how to explain myself without examples. And this is my story with the most obvious examples.  

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Episode 17: Stranger Beside You

SPOILERS and thoughts ahead.

0:13 - How freaking creepy is this? She just pops up from the floor. Did Malcolm not see her there as he was approaching? Why didn’t he acknowledge her presence as he approached? ALSO - he’s excited about muffins? Does that mean muffins are one of the only foods he eats? I find this surprising. ALSO - last episode we learned that Malcolm can’t cook…why does he have a muffin tin? I know this is a dream but still.

0:45 - Ok. Story time. I watched this episode when it premiered. It was the first week I had moved home from university since the whole COVID-19 stuff. My younger brother (20) and my mom (45) who have never seen this show decided to watch it with me. Ugh. Our family dynamic is generally a lot of sarcasm and teasing. I’m the only one in the family interested in crime shows/whump. When Malcolm said “This is when the scary thing usually happens.” both of my family members started cackling like buffoons. For the next week my brother quoted that line to me. They both now tease me for loving this show so much…so that happened.

1:18 - This is kind of sweet. I don’t like Eve but I like seeing Malcolm this happy.

1:56 - This is such a good sibling conversation. Ainsley is setting Malcolm straight. I know Malcolm is right but honestly - Ainsley has a point. Malcolm has a tendency to accidentally sabotage his own relationships because he can’t trust people and he doesn’t believe that he’s worthy of love.

3:15 - Look at this. Just. Look. JT is happy to see Malcolm. They’re bantering like brothers. This relationship has blossomed and I’m so happy…also I google “sip and see” because I really wanted them to be fake. They sound ridiculous, but they’re real. IDK. I don’t have kids but it seems crazy to organize a big fancy party right after you give birth. Invite friends and family over - sure. Order a pizza and a cake. But hang out in something comfy and keep it casual. Maybe that’s just me. IDK.

3:42 - Malcolm’s projecting again. “Perfect can be an allusion.” Honestly. Is he even aware that he does this?! Also, is he projecting about his childhood or his relationship with Eve. Either way, I’m concerned for him….though I do like how happy he’s looking right now.

3:47 - hahaha OMG. “With the stiff!” Gil is so done.

4:30 - I thought this was interesting. 1) Do dead bodies actually do that? Compress? Huh. Cool. 2) I like the way that Edrisa and Malcolm are so totally absorbed in how cool/weird the cause of death was that neither of them notice Edrisa’s hand on Malcolm’s chest. 3) Gil pointing out Edrisa’s hand makes things a little awkward - but honestly I see it as a gentle warning. He knows that Edrisa is socially awkward. She’s not in trouble and he’s not mad. He’s just reminding her that stuff like that isn’t appropriate.

5:04 - Watching this after realizing that Tally is pregnant brings a whole new weight to all of JT’s comments. Every time he mentions babies, baby swag, moms - he looks either scared, stressed (because money), or excited. It’s freaking precious.

6:15 - “It’s a cloud of love. Nothing to be ashamed of.” Again. More proof that Malcolm is an A+ adult male. Who speaks like that?

7:05 - Do I need to be scared about Dani now too? I do not like the way that Martin says her name. Wait. Is Martin going to go after every person that takes Malcolm’s time away from visiting him? I can totally see it. Martin escaping - killing Gil for replacing him as Malcolm’s Dad. Killing Jessica for trying to keep Malcolm from him. Killing JT, Dani, and Edrisa for being his friends. Can’t decide if he’d kill Ainsley…

7:41 - HOW is this show so dark and yet so funny?!?!

8:20 - I know that Malcolm knows that Tally is pregnant…but after the pizza roll comment there’s no way Gil and Dani don’t suspect. Look at their faces!!! And the way JT looks down way too quickly. He’s clearly hiding something.

8:55 - Look at Gil’s face. He’s concerned and a little scared. I am too. What the hell does Malcolm mean by “Mom’s love me”?!?! Is this some weird sex thing?

9:05 - Dani is a queen. We stan. She is the friend Malcolm deserves. I especially love the fact that later we find out that she told JT about this conversation. As though she thought Malcolm needed “guy advice”.

10:00 - Yo. People like this shouldn’t be allowed to have children. Kids are not a fashion statement - they are human beings who need to be nurtured and loved.

11:10 - So, I don’t usually like it when Ainsley snoops around for a story and gets all determined - but this time I do.

12:00 -  Does Ainsley really not understand that what she did was a total invasion of privacy?!? She doesn’t look sorry. At all. The fact that Ainsley actually talks to Eve about it is kind of awful too? Like it’s one thing to do a background check on someone - it’s another thing to talk to them, unprovoked, about what you found. 

12:12 - Poor Jessica. She looks upset. Between her two “socially bizarre” children ( lol ) she really has a hard time making friends. Although…..I will admit. It’s a little weird that Jessica is making friends with a woman young enough to date her son. 

 12:32 - Soooo this means that Malcolm has an instagram account (at least a fake one for work anyways). I feel like Malcolm is one of the people who don’t have a personal instagram account. Because a) he has like 3 friends and b) he doesn’t strike me as the type of person to take pictures of food, people, events, or himself. 

 12:40 - So Malcolm’s sitting at that desk again…..forget about the gitb… I want to solve the desk mystery (and the mystery of JT’s name). 

12:57 - Damn it JT! We were about to get a super awesome father/son moment. Ugh. When I said I wanted the writers to give JT more screen time I didn’t mean this. 

13:13 - Aww…look at how proud Dani is of herself. Girl made a cool discovery and she’s proud/excited about it. <3 

13:22 - ARE YOU KIDDING ME. We finally get a good look at the desk from the front. No name plate in view?!? UGH. This is killing me. 

13:33 - hahaha look at these faces! JT looks confused/freaked out that Malcolm knows so much about babies feeding habits. Dani looks so annoyed that she’s been put on Malcolm babysitting duty again. I don’t blame her. Gil is always making her babysit Malcolm. JT never has to take a turn. 

 13:55 - The most annoying thing about this episode is that we never find out how Alessa cut her arm. It’s a weird place on your arm to get a cut and I’m curious about it. 

 14:35 - I respect Malcolm a LOT in this scene. He’s asking some tough (but necessary) questions. He’s calm, kind, and respectful. He’s not minimizing Alessa’s stress, her loss, or her devotion to her daughter.

16:30 - Soooo if Christine’s (ex) husband lives in Canada - does that mean he’s Canadian (or dual citizen)? Or does he just have a work permit? I’m curious about what that means for Christine’s citizen status. I find this odd though - even if Christine isn’t Canadian - if she was last seen in Canada and her husband reported her missing - the RCMP would’ve been looking for her. They NYPD would know that. Although - she is using a fake name. Huh. There’s a reason I’m not in law enforcement. People are too crafty. I’ll stick to math. 

 17:55 - Look how mad JT looks that Christine tried to abduct Nina….he’s going to be such an overprotective, good dad. <3 

18:25 - This is a really cool moment. This scene is the first since 1x9 when JT and Malcolm have a heart-to-heart. JT also gives Malcolm some really good relationship advice. Damn. No wonder JT’s been married for 7 years. He gets it. 

 18:55 - I love how manic Malcolm looks and how concerned JT looks when Malcolm goes off on his little rant about being a suspicious person. I wonder if JT is wondering why Malcolm trusts Gil, Dani, Edrisa, and himself? They are, by all means, good things in Malcolm’s life. Is he suspicious of them? 

19:25 - Does Martin know about Malcolm’s sensitive stomach? I’m really curious. 

 19:44 - This scene is awesome. Malcolm is sad, upset, a little anxious, and angry (at Martin) throughout the scene. Martin, even though he is a crazy serial killer, actually gives Malcolm some good relationship advice. I guess it makes sense. Martin could never have tricked Jessica into marrying him unless he acted like a perfect, good dude with good relationship skills. 

20:04 - Martin actually believes he was a perfect father? Nope. I can’t. Any parent who genuinely believes that should have a psych eval. No one is perfect. Parents aren’t excluded from this rule. 

 20:56 - This is such a powerful moment. You can see how pleased Martin is because he got through the Malcolm. You can see how desperately Malcolm wants to love his father and how painfully aware Malcolm is of who his father is and how much he despises it. Malcolm shouldn’t have to remind himself to hate his father. No one should. Watching Malcolm grapple with that (through his facial expressions) is heart-wrenching. He actually looks close to tears for a moment. ALSO screw Martin for still trying to manipulate Malcolm into loving him. 

 22:10 - I’ll just say it. We’re all thinking it anyways. Malcolm’s soft voice when he’s confused is so freaking cute. 

23:08 - Look at JT’s face during this scene. He just about had a freaking heart attack. I feel soooo bad for him. I can only imagine how bad he feels. Gil gave him one (1) job: protect the baby. JT’s probably thinking, “If I can’t even protect this stranger’s baby - how will I ever protect my baby? Will I be a bad father?” Someone give this man a hug for me.

23:25 - Look at the way JT touches the infant to make sure she’s real. That is a man who is on the verge of a panic attack. 

 24:00 - AND now JT is worrying about Tally’s health throughout her impending pregnancy. Good Lord. What a rollercoaster he’s on tonight.

25:25 - Concerned!Gil for the win! Gil hasn’t been around Malcolm much this episode. Yes - Malcolm is obviously upset right now, but it makes me wonder if Jessica and/or Ainsley have called Gil because they’re concerned about Malcolm right now. Did they call Gil and ask him to send Malcolm home? 

 26:25 - Look at that. Malcolm looks crushed. Not surprised just disappointed. He truly believes that he’s not worthy of love. Eve just confirmed it for him. I honestly don’t know how this dude will ever trust any romantic partner ever again. My heart is shattered. 

26:43 - Look at how brave he’s being. He’s trying to mask his pain with a smile and a self-deprecating joke as usual. Problem is - his eyes look tortured and he’s trying to lie to the two women who know him best. They see through his mask and they’re concerned for him. 

27:00 - Ainsley is such a strange character to me. Right now as she tells Malcolm about Eve, she is looking at Malcolm with dread, concern, and determination. In 1x7/1x10 she publicly embarrassed him and revealed his personal, private details with the world - without remorse. I know that Ainsley is really obsessed with the progression of her career. However, it shouldn’t blind her to the emotions of her big brother. Ainsley needs therapy. 

 27:08 - soooo Eve has a key to Malcolm’s place? After two(ish) weeks? For a dude who doesn’t trust easily this seems like a stretch. I’m choosing to believe that Malcolm left the door open when he saw Ainsley and Jessica. 

 27:15 - THIS is so important. Jessica’s “How could you?”. See her face? She’s devastated. The first female friend she’s had in probably 20 years just stabbed her in the back. To make matters worse, this woman also just broke the heart of Jessica’s very emotionally vulnerable son - thereby also breaking Jessica’s heart. Furthermore - Jessica is definitely already paying rent in the self-loathing hotel because she traumatized her children because she married a serial killer. NOW she’s also dealing with the guilt of knowing that she’s the one who brought Eve into Malcolm’s life. That look hurt or devastation on Jessica’s face which later transforms into rage and hatred is haunting. Props to Bellamy Young. 

27:26 - This. Look at Malcolm’s face. Eve looks like she’s close to tears. Malcolm is looking at her with compassion. Yes - you can tell that Malcolm is devastated and hurt by Eve. However, he also clearly empathizes with her. Again. Malcolm. Bright. Is. An. A+. Dude. Fight me.

27:40 - Can we all just pause for a second and praise Tom Payne’s acting in this scene? He captured the raw emotion of a trauma induced panic attack perfectly. Look at how utterly broken Malcolm is. Hands shaking on his head. Tears in his eyes. Ragged breathing. Followed by a brief angry outburst which leads to more shaky, anxious breathing and eyes on the verge of tears. The end result is physical and emotional exhaustion. 

 27:45 - Ainsley looks shocked and a little scared by Malcolm’s outburst. Has she (HIS SISTER) never seen him have a panic attack? They grew up together. I refuse to believe it. Ainsley shouldn’t look shocked - she should look sad and resigned to it. 

 28:06 - This is heartbreaking. Malcolm genuinely thinks that there is something about him that makes him unlovable. I know he’s already in therapy - but they need to stop focusing on his trauma for a hot second and focus on his self-worth issues. I aM nOt OkAy. 

 28:22 - Can we all just take a minute to appreciate Dani Powell. She has been such a good friend to Malcolm. Probably the first true friend Malcolm’s had since he was 10 years old. Even in the midst of extreme emotional turmoil a work-related text from Dani makes Malcolm smile. Because Malcolm knows that Dani  - a woman who isn’t related to him and has no obvious crush on him - doesn’t hate him. In fact - she likes him enough to be his friend. Right now that’s enough. That’s a big comfort to Malcolm. 

 28:36 - This is sheer panic on Jessica’s part. Check out those eyes. She just saw pure self-loathing and anger in her son’s eyes. She’s terrified for him. Maybe this look is reminding her of a look he got as a teenager when he became suicidal (it’s my headcanon that Malcolm had a period of active suicidal ideation as a teenager)? 

 28:40 - “I can’t solve this.” Is Malcolm referring to himself here? I mean - he clearly thinks that he is the problem; despite the fact that Eve came into his family’s life with the intention of getting information on his serial killing father. Ugh. His sad eyes and messy hair (that tends to indicate Malcolm is in severe emotional distress) is breaking my heart. 

 28:54 - Ok. So - who is this woman? How did Christine find her? Why did Christine go to her? It doesn’t look like a women’s shelter - it looks like a random lady’s residential home. 

 29:00 - Again. Let’s all praise Queen Dani. The bestest friend this dude has ever had.  She just goes out and asks him what’s wrong. She’s concerned about him BECAUSE she knows he’s upset about something.

29:20 - I love that Malcolm is comfortable enough around Dani to be honest with her about the really hard stuff in his life. Look at how sad Malcolm looks here. Look at Dani’s reaction. She isn’t judging him or pitying him. She isn’t pushing him to talk. She’s just supporting him. She’s a little shocked, a lot upset on his behalf, but mostly she’s just concerned. She’s being a good friend and I love her for it. 

 29:36 - Lucas is a scum. Anyone who abuses a spouse, child, or family member has a special spot reserved in hell. 

 29:52 - Look at Dani as Christine tells her story. She’s sympathetic, respectful, and concerned. Either this isn’t the first time Dani’s been around a battered woman on the job or Dani has personal experience with abuse. Maybe a friend/family member was abused? Hell - maybe Dani had an abusive boyfriend or something? 

30:20 - I really respect Malcolm in this scene. He knows that women who are fresh out of an abusive relationship (or still in one) with a male are weary of men. Usually, when Malcolm gets this type of information about a case he starts speaking quickly, loudly, and intensely. He starts gesturing a lot with his hands. IN THIS SCENE - Malcolm reigns himself in. He stays relatively calm and still as he speaks. He knows that his usual hand-gesturing and loud voice would terrify a woman who was just beaten by a man who was supposed to love her. This. Is. A. Good. Dude.

31:10 - Malcolm just shows Dani his cracked phone screen. I’m curious - does she ever ask about it? I’d like to hear that conversation. 

33:05 - I LOVE THIS. Gil is terrified for a) Malcolm but b) Alessa and Nina too. This is a side of Gil I’d like to see more often. ALSO notice that the second that JT realizes that Gil is suffering from a parental panic attack he floors it. JT is going to be a good Dad. <3 He knows how to love and he has a big heart. That’s the most important thing. 

 34:34 - Again. Malcolm is currently displaying empathy and sympathy for a murderer. This dude has the biggest heart in the world. 

35:45 - Alessa is a badass. Nina is a lucky little girl. 

36:04 - I love this scene. Gil looks so relieved that Malcolm is in one (mostly unharmed) piece. He’s so proud of Malcolm for keeping Alessa and Nina safe. I’m certain that Jessica and/or Ainsley called Gil about Malcolm’s panic attack which exacerbated Gil’s worry over Malcolm.

37:07 - THE SCENE. The scene. This scene is easily my favourite of the episode. I love watching JT and Malcolm’s friendship in real time. Look right here this is two guys chatting about how cool someone is. <3 Look at how happy and proud JT is of a woman he just met. I promise you he’s thinking about how awesome and badass of a mother his wife is going to be. 

 37:28 - JT’s scared face coupled with his softly spoken “Dude.” stops my heart. It’s as though talking to someone other than his wife makes the baby seem like more of a scary, real responsibility. You can tell that he’s excited but still terrified about fatherhood. He’s not quite ready to tell people yet. 

37:37 - “The thing’s the size of a peanut.” - I googled it: Tally is about 9 weeks pregnant. ALSO how freaking cute is it that JT is so excited about his unborn child that he knows how big it is. <3 I can just see him panic researching about pregnancy and caring for infants in the middle of the night while Tally sleeps. <3 

 37:44 - He doesn’t want to jinx it? Does that mean he and Tally have had trouble getting pregnant in the past? Miscarriages? Infertility? Or is JT just scared from everything he’s been researching about pregnancy? Either way - if Tally looses this child I will riot. 

37:50 - “You don’t do happy.” - Malcolm’s face twists into a look of hurt and sadness. He genuinely believes JT’s words - even though JT meant them as a joke. JT sees that too because he immediately starts teasing Bright. JT is concerned about Malcolm. 

38:39 - So Eve does have a key. Nope. Not cool. Not in-line with Malcolm’s trust issues. I refuse to believe it. 

 39:11 - I hate watching Malcolm be this sad. Look at his nose. It’s just a little red - he’s been crying. His fragile ability to trust has been shattered again and Eve’s apology is quite honestly not very good. 

39:45 - Can we all just pause on Malcolm’s shirt? It looks like the orange sweater Gil wore in 1x13. Did they go shopping together? Did Malcolm buy the shirt because it reminded him of Gil? Does he only wear it when he feels sad because the fact that it reminds him of Gil comforts him

40:35 - What’s the story of Eve’s Dad? What’s his deal? 

41:40 - I’m really proud of Malcolm for being brave enough to face the truth and have this really difficult conversation with Eve. 

43:09 - Ok. I’ll say it. Malcolm is too nice. This woman shattered his heart last night and now he’s hugging her? Bro - you don’t have to do that. You’re allowed to be upset. You’re letting her walk all over you. 

Thanks for hanging out Prodigies. 

[badbookreviewclub]

Empress Theresa, Chapters 5-10

Once more, if you haven’t read the previous update of Chapters 3 and 4, I highly recommend you do. You can find that review here.  Disclaimer: This review will contain spoilers. I guess if you don’t want the book spoiled for you, don’t read the review until afterward.  This one is going to be a long one, so strap the fuck in, because it’s a wild ride. Chapters 5-10 aren’t nearly as painful as chapters 3 and 4 were to read. They were much easier, though more confusing. Or at least, all but one chapter weren’t painful. Chapters 5 and 6 were just a giant recap of everything that happened in chapters 3 and 4 and are essentially pointless to the entire book, I’ll still go over a few things that happened in them, but in general, they are completely and utterly pointless. Chapters 7 and 8 are where things start to get confusing, 9 is just painful, and 10 elicits more confusion. In fact, 10 is the most confusing chapter out of the entire bunch, but, I’ll start from the beginning and hopefully, things will clear up more as I recall and lay it out for you.  Chapters 5 and 6 As I said, these chapters are just a giant review of what happened in 3 and 4. It’s a waste of time except for small details that are recalled in the chapters. However, because I had to live through this pain, you’re going to live through it too. At the start of chapter 5, Theresa wakes up in the hospital. Nothing too exciting. She realizes that there are a lot of people in her room, including the Prime Minister of England, Peter Blair. Theresa grows incredibly frustrated because “All [she] wanted was a quiet life.” I find this hard to believe later on down the line, but alright. She finally starts talking after throwing her tantrum and Blair, or as Boutin likes to write ‘pm Blair’ because he fucking loves abbreviations, confirms that she has been ‘dead’ for two weeks. I’ll get into this in a minute, but for now, all I will say is that it is fucking stupid. Theresa and Blair have a bit more conversation and Theresa inquires if the media has been talking about her. Rather than summarizing it for you because that would be far more interesting than what I had to endure, I’m going to write it all out word for word, so please, do enjoy. (Italics are my own notes) “‘I’ll bet my secret is out.’ (Theresa) ‘It is.’ (Blair) ‘Terrific. Some maniac will kill me in a week. How did you get to me in time?’ ‘We didn’t. You’ve been dead for two weeks.’ ‘What? That can’t happen.’ ‘It did. A most remarkable story.’ ‘So I went through all that for nothing?’ (Did you fucking want to die?)  I was referring to my kidnapping and fall from the plane. (Anybody with two cents worth of brain cells could figure this out. You don’t need to write it out.) ‘I’m afraid so.’ Could my anonymity still be preserved? ‘I’ll bet there’s a lot of news stories about me.’ ‘About a million if you include all languages around the world. You are discussed continuously.’ No anonymity! ‘Anybody say anything bad about me?’ ‘No. I have seen nothing negative.’ ‘I knew I might become famous and kept myself squeaky clean.’ (Is that the only reason? That’s a stupid, stupid fucking reason to try and be a good person in that case. More than that, I thought you wanted to live a quiet life? Yet you were planning on becoming famous?) ‘People with problems can be interesting too.’ ‘Yeah, well, people with problems don’t change the world.’ (Pgs 74-75)” Aside from what I’ve already commented on and how boring this entire conversation is, I take serious issue with that last remark. Believe it or not, but people with problems do change the world. You can look up a list of people who have changed the world, and almost every single one of them has had controversy before or people found problems with them. I asked four different people and the answers I got were: Hitler, Jesus, and Alexander the Great. All of them changed the world, be it for better or for worse, and every single one of them had problems. So please, Boutin, I’d like to hear your examples of people who changed the world who didn’t have problems. I’m waiting. Moving along from this shitshow display of poor logic and bad writing, we get more bad writing! What a fun surprise! Boutin goes way too in-depth about medical machines and what they had used to try and revive her and watch her vitals. If you’ll recall, this book is supposed to be an autobiography written by Theresa. I don’t recall Theresa every studying medicine or anything medical, or even having the slightest interest in medical things. In fact, later on, Theresa says that she wanted to be a high school math teacher. I almost guarantee, most high school math teachers will not know what an ‘electroencephalograph’ is. I still don’t know what it is and Boutin explains what it is in the fucking book. It took a quick google search after realizing I still didn’t know what it was to realize that it reads the electrical signals in the brain. That is all you had to say Boutin if anything at all. Yet, like everything else in this stupid fucking book, you had to go and make it complicated to make yourself seem like you are smart. Blah, Blah, Blah, turns out Theresa is coated in blood. This isn’t explained until about half-way through chapter six. As would turn out, it coagulated shark’s blood because when she was floating in the sea, a bunch of sharks came to try and eat her. Except, every time the sharks got close to her floating, apparently dead, body, they would explode and the other sharks would feast on the dead one. This is attributed to HAL, which I guess at this point, only makes sense. Unsurprisingly enough, HAL is what kept Theresa alive as well. However, it isn’t what brought her back to life. What brought her back to life was the doctors in London, putting her in a room at 105 degrees (Fahrenheit, I assume. Because Celcius would be fucking disastrous). And as her body warmed up, she came back to life. Rather than the doctors trying to save her or doing anything at all to try and help her, they just stared and hoped that as she warmed up, she would be revived. Unshockingly, this worked. After being revived Blair takes Theresa out to see an enormous crowd of people who are holding signs, essentially just jerking off Theresa’s ever-growing ego more. One of the signs, however, reads ‘SAVE US’. Theresa inquires about this and pm Blair refuses to answer. Instead, he sends her to a hotel and has BBC put together a documentary for her compiling everything that happened during the two-week stint that Theresa was ‘dead’.  Here is when we find out that the way HAL decided to try and save Theresa from death, that somehow worked, is that he stopped the wind. Yes. HAL stopped the fucking wind to try and save Theresa in her massive fall out of a plane. For some reason, everyone accepts this as perfectly logical. How, in the ever-changing and ever-flourishing earth, is this fucking logical? I don’t even know how to get into why the reasoning on this is so bad but I’m going to try. First of all, it’s the acceleration and then the eventual impact with water that would have killed Theresa, not the wind. Theresa slamming into the water would have flattened both her and all those empty plastic coke bottles she shoved into her jumper to act as a life jacket. The surface tension would have killed her regardless if there was wind or not. The wind played absolutely no factor in speeding up or slowing down Theresa’s fall, and in fact, would have probably been better for her if it picked up and disturbed the surface of the water because it would have helped to break that surface tension before she hit. Not saying she would have survived, but she would have had a slightly better chance at survival. Before I have an aneurism, I’m going to move on. President Martin resigned in the middle of the night and left his V.P., Veronica Stinson to take over as President. He did this because he announced to the entire world that he had Theresa killed and why. Obviously, the world didn’t react well to this, especially after realizing that the wind had stopped. I don’t know how they came to the conclusion that this was because of Theresa, but somehow they did. During the investigation of Theresa that happened shortly before Martin’s resignation, they found a file called MISSION IMPOSSIBLE in a file on Theresa’s account in the Boston College computer system. Don’t ask me what the file is about because I still have no fucking idea. I guess it’s a bunch of code to fuck knows what, but a whole bunch of mathematicians were brought in to try and decode it and none of them could.  Chapter 7 and 8 In these chapters, Theresa goes in front of the cameras with Prime Minister Blair and her ego gets jerked off more much to her delight. They go on and on about how amazing Theresa is and how she’s going to do great. These chapters are full of more bullshit and are overall annoying, but at the very least, they progress the story a bit more than the previous two. In chapter 7 Theresa explains what HAL is and why HAL transferred to her, and just like always, Boutin has absolutely impeccable logic. To put is as simply as I can, HAL transfers over to Theresa because, and she is dead convinced about this, despite HAL apparently having been in North America (Not Earth, North America) for “a hundred million years” he had never seen someone raking leaves before. As such, because HAL apparently thought that it was a new appendage, thus making this new create more complicated than the one he currently inhabited (the fox) it meant that it was obviously more complex and could help him to evolve more. By that logic, HAL, as soon as he sees an octopus, should leave Theresa for the octopus, but I guess not. We also find out why HAL isn’t sentient, and apparently, it’s because “He has no more brains than a jellyfish.” He doesn’t have brains despite the fact that he seems to have a constant and unchanging need to evolve and adapt new reflexes, thus urging him to move to more complex creates and recognizing when a creature is living and more complex. Theresa goes on with an overly long and complex description of just what HAL is, but I will sum it up for you as simply as I possibly can; HAL is made up of dark matter. He’s not an alien, he’s a remnant from the Big Bang and is constantly trying to evolve to keep its host alive and well. To fix this problem of the wind being stopped, Theresa suggests that they start a committee to come up with the best solution and people are both deeply displeased with her statement about what HAL is and her idea for a committee. Theresa isn’t happy that the people aren’t understanding her explanation either and says, “‘It’s their fault if they don’t get it’ I said to Nancy. ‘Everything has been explained. Nothing is understood.’ (Pg 126)” If people don’t understand your explanation, it’s not because they’re stupid, it’s because you did a poor job of explaining it. It is for this reason that I firmly believe Theresa would have never been able to make it as a math teacher, be she a teacher for high school or not. Aside from that, Theresa turns on the news, more specifically, “... the biggest international media circus of all: CNN (Pg 127).” CNN conducted an unofficial poll to see if people wanted Theresa to act with a committee or not and overwhelmingly, the answer is no.  The reasons vary as to why people are saying no, and because I can’t phrase them in a more eloquent manner than Boutin, who has the most beautiful writing I have ever had the absolute pleasure to read, I’ll let his own writing speak for itself and explain. “‘The committee will presumably meet with Theresa Hartley who is an American. Many nations will object. It’s not like the United Nations that meets in New York with no government presence. Theresa and the committee will be the government. With Hartley the most important member it will be an American government. That will be unacceptable to many (pgs 126-127).” Another reason offered up by the President of France, who claims “‘It is not practical. We are not talking of the United Nations where thousands of people are needed to do something. HAL can do something alone. This is power on a new level. A committee in control of HAL would be a target for every terrorist organization. I believe nobody will want to be on the committee. We would need to surround each member with an army (pg 128).’” No, you really wouldn’t need to surround every member with an army. I will also state now that nobody in their right or wrong mind, terrorist or not, would even think about killing Theresa at this very moment because as far as they all know if Theresa dies then they are all royally fucked in the ass without lube. Though Theresa quickly dissuades those fears of her death meaning the end of the world when she says that people can “‘...kill me if [they] want. HAL will just move to somebody else. It could be anybody. HAL wouldn’t know the difference between Joan of Arc and Adolf Hitler. You want to try your luck?’ (pg 129)” Wonderful job comparing Theresa to Hitler again, Boutin. You’ve absolutely outdone yourself this time around. I’m going to point out now, Theresa never has an assassin come after her in the next couple of chapters, so this threat of people or terrorists coming after her is utterly pointless and at best, it’s a complete and utter joke.   Also, I’d just like to point out that Boutin uses an outdated and potentially offensive term for ‘Muslim’, saying ‘Moslem’ instead when describing Middle Eastern countries. I’m not Muslim, so I can’t speak to the offensiveness of this, but it took a quick google search to verify that yes, one probably shouldn’t be using this word when writing. I would also like to point out that there are Muslim countries outside of the Middle East, and that Norman is more than just a little uncultured. Anyways, in chapter 8, to try and keep Theresa safe, they send her to live in a mansion in England owned by the Parker family. The Parker family reminds me of animated mannequin dolls who do nothing but stare at you without a word. The Parker family “won’t speak to [Theresa] unless [she] speak[s] first (pg 144).” The reason why they won’t do this is that “Every moment of [Theresa’s] time is the world’s treasure (pg 144).” Bullshit.  Theresa goes and meets the Parker family once Steve arrives at the house and none of them matter as far as I’m aware and hold no relevance to the story. If they come up again and for one reason or another hold any kind of purpose, I’ll mention who they are but for now, their presence in Empress Theresa is pointless. All they are good for is to give Theresa the house. Wonderful story writing abilities, Boutin. People start sending Theresa money because apparently, they’re so grateful to her and her attempts to start saving them that they feel as though they need to send her 6000+ letters and money. By the end of the second day, I think that they have over a million dollars, which is fucking nuts, but alright, I guess. Thersa also has absolutely no work ethic when she is working, which makes me absolutely concerned with how the fuck she managed to get straight A’s in school and in college. But to show you how terrible her work ethic is, let me lay it out for you in Boutin’s words. “As the week went on we settled into a routine. Three hours was about all I could take doing the intense work I was doing. So after working form 8 to 11 in the morning I’d take a walk around the estate with Steve. Then it was lunch. Then work from 1 to 4 in the afternoon and a couple of hours of reading or television before dinner. Finally, maybe an hour or two of work in the evening before the winding down to bedtime (pg 150-151).” Because you know, it’s not like the world is in peril and every day that you are working to try and save the world people are dying and being killed off for their supplies more likely than not. It isn’t like the world would logically be falling into a state of complete anarchy at knowing that their lives are in the hands of an 18-year-old who has absolutely no record of working and has no real-world experience, thus leading people to absolutely lose all hope in the system or at any chance of survival which would severe the social-contracts that bind us all and keep humanity from functioning in a state of nature, but it’s whatever, I guess. After all, we live in Boutin’s magical world now, where everybody is perfectly calm and nobody in the world is in a state of panic because the world is literally falling apart right before their eyes. Nobody has any mental disorders which this situation is only exacerbating and schizophrenia is only a convenient excuse as to why you don’t tell people about the insane shit that happens in your life. Anyways…  Chapter 9 This chapter is a fucking shit show and makes me want to burn the book before I finish it. I hated this chapter so much because it shows just how uncultured and entitled Norman Boutin is. He is the definition of an entitled North American, and what is supposed to come off as Boutin shitting on other countries only makes him look like a fucking idiot and it makes Theresa look like an absolute cunt. But, I’ll get into that in a moment. For now, let’s work our way to that point. At the beginning of this chapter, we see Theresa trying out different tasks to try and train HAL or get him to develop new reflexes. I have no idea what her end goal is here or what getting him to develop these new reflexes will do other than giving her a stupid as fuck skill. She does this in four different ways (keep in mind, this is supposed to be incredibly intense work that keeps her from working more than 3 hours at a time. Also please take note, I am writing this word for word and double-checking to make sure I haven’t left any errors on my part), “One was to slide a small coin between two glasses on a table. I’d place a coin next to one glass, leave it there a moment, then put my finger on it to slide it to the other glass. After doing this a few times, I’d place the coin at the first glass and wait a while to see if HAL would move it for me (pg 157.)” “The second thing I did was a takeoff on the throwing accuracy skill that HAL gave me. I tossed a coin in a small metal can a few feet away. Keeping my eyes on the can’s opening got the coin inside the can every time. Then I’d toss a coin with my eyes shut. Once in while the coin would go in the can by pure chance, but generally, it missed (pg 157).”  “The third thing I did was stand up and drop a coin on the floor besides the can while keeping my eyes on the can’s opening. If HAL got the idea he would move the coin into the can. I was not throwing the coin; I was dropping it. If HAL guided the coin to the can it was a new reflex using elements of an old one (pg 158).” “The fourth thing I did was entirely different. I suspended a one foot ruler on a piece of string. The string was attached to the end of a yardstick held in place with a book on top of a bookshelf. After steadying the foot ruler I pointed to its end for the moment to give HAL a chance, then I pushed the ruler’s end to make it rotate a hundred degrees or so. This maneuver had nothing to do with coins, or throwing, and would seem to require very little of HAL, just a tiny push (pg 158).”  Boo fucking hoo. Does Theresa need a little binky because she’s upset at how intense this work is and how hard it is? Does she need Steve to come in and start giving her an allowance because it’s more than obvious that this incredibly difficult job is taking a toll on her? I know throwing a coin can be so difficult for her, and the brainpower she’s exerting right now must be off the charts. It’s not like there are people who work 8 hours straight or 17 hours straight in a day only to get in total 2.5 hours work of break time, two of which aren’t even paid for or accounted for because it’s supposed to be ‘lunch’.  Anger and bitterness aside, HAL doesn’t respond to any of these (probably because they make no fucking sense) and after a couple of days of this with work and no progress for HAL’s part, Theresa decides that despite the fact that they’ve been there for three weeks, she needs a vacation. So where do they head? Paris. This is where I get angry, more so than I was before if you can believe it. I am a total francophile and am in the process of learning to speak french, so you’ll have to forgive the ensuing rant. Theresa and Steve go to Paris in disguises so they don’t get mobbed, however, the disguises are fucking stupid. Steve wears a floppy hat and sunglasses and Theresa wears sunglasses and piles her hair on top of her head. Those aren’t disguises, those are just you changing your outfit a little bit. Sorry honey, but with how much your face has been broadcast and all of the photos of you and the posters they’re selling of you without your consent there’s no way that’s a fucking ‘disguise’. Theresa and Steve decide that they want to go see the different famous parts of Paris, including the ‘Champs-Elysees’ which is filled to the brim of ‘over-expensive’ stores, despite the fact that the Champs-Élysées is infamous for being filled with designer and luxury stores and brands, it’s absolutely filled with brilliant french fashion. But, despite what Boutin claims about having absolutely no chain stores, it does. Les Champs has different chain outlets like Sephora, Nike, GAP, et...c. They also go to see the Arch of Triumph which I can only assume is the Americanized version of the Arc de Triomphe. Call me a fucking pretentious bitch if you want, but its name is Arc de Triomphe, not Arch of Triumph. They go into the Louvre, which in itself isn’t a problem. That is, it’s not a problem until they arrive at the Mona Lisa, which Theresa claims is ‘not impressive’ because it’s so ‘small’, is ‘in a recess in the wall’ and is ‘covered by light-absorbing darkened glass to protect it from flashy cameras’. Admittedly, I do think at times that the Mona Lisa can be over-hyped, but it a piece of history. The Mona Lisa is almost akin to a wonder of art history, and it’s so well protected and hidden because it’s worth so fucking much and people have attempted to throw acid on it before. Not only that, but they don’t want people touching the Mona Lisa. It’s Leonardo da Vinci’s masterpiece of the Renaissance and one of the most known paintings in the world, so I’m so sorry you’re disappointed by it, Theresa, and can’t be bothered to look up information about it that is more than easily accessible to anybody with a phone and a penny’s worth of intelligence. We then get to the absolute peak of Boutin’s cultural knowledge and acceptance, when Theresa goes to visit the Notre-Dame de Paris. “It was smaller than we expected. It was basically a pile of stone erected around 1200 and the huge pillars holding up the roof didn’t leave much room for the people. There were no pews; everybody had to stand. The artwork was pre-Renaissance and rather unspectacular after our visit to the Louvre. It was disappointing (pg 165).”  I am so, so fucking sorry you found it disappointing Theresa. I understand that history isn’t everyone’s love, but the Notre-Dame is absolutely dazzling in its beauty. The shit that the Notre-Dame has gone through and how it still remains standing today is an absolute miracle. I know it went through the fire, yet it still stands. The beautiful stained glass windows that will make anyone in awe of their beauty and would bring me to tears if I ever got the chance to see them in person still remain. The sun shines through the glass and gives an ambiance of absolute reverence and holiness. The gothic architecture pulls you back in time and brings you to when the cathedral was built. You are in a standing piece of history, so who gives a fuck if there are no pews? There are so many people filtering in and out of the Notre-Dame day in and day out that they can’t afford to have pews in the building. They still hold services in the building and bring in chairs for people to sit, you just didn’t happen to attend when there was a service because you’re a tourist. Tourists don’t attend church services in historic cathedrals, usually. Besides that, the Notre-Dame was built in 1163-1345 CE. Technically around the year 1200 CE, but still, this information is readily available to anyone who can access Google. Also, how fucking dare you call it a pile of stone? This building is more than just a fucking pile of stone. The rock garden in front of my parent’s house is a pile of fucking stone, the Notre-Dame is anything but a pile of stone. It is the heart of Paris, is the lady of Paris who was mourned when she burned down and is being rebuilt. The Notre-Dame is a masterpiece of architecture and a building that I, even as an atheist, would die to see. The Notre-Dame has been through hell and back and yet the building still stands. It has lived through the best and through the worst of times in France and it still endures. The Notre-Dame is a sign of hope for the French, just as the American flag acted as a sign of hope of the United States during the revolutionary war. I wouldn’t call the flag a bunch of fabric, so, don’t you fucking dare call the Notre-Dame a pile of stone. The way that her feelings are expressed about the Notre-Dame, how it has no pews, calling it a pile of stone, calling the stained glass unspectacular, it radiates childish behavior and thoughts. It shows just how uncultured Boutin is and makes Theresa look like a complete brat in her behavior because she has absolutely no will to educate herself in the slightest and it makes her look absolutely entitled. It’s petulant and childish behavior and I will not stand for it. If you’re going to act like a child, Theresa, I’m going to treat you like the little brat you are. You have absolutely no capacity for thought other than ‘I want what I want, and when it’s not exactly how I want it, I’m going to throw a fucking tantrum and call it awful and unfair.’ After Theresa acting like an entitled brat, they go to the Eiffel Tower, where she gets to act more like an entitled brat. She’s mad that the subway doesn’t drop them right off at the Eiffel Tower and they have to walk half a mile (Oh no, I’m so fucking sorry that you have to walk h a l f   a   m i l e) to get to the tower. Paris, apparently, isn’t anything special to look at when you get to the observation deck on the Eiffel Tower, and Theresa calls Paris a “tired old city. American cities offered just as much (pg 165).” How Fucking Childish Can She Get? American cities do not have nearly as much to offer. Yes, in the United States we have so much history on our shores, especially from Native American tribes, but the United States doesn’t offer as much. In no way shape or form does the United States offer nearly as much as Paris does in terms of history. They didn’t even go and visit some of the more amazing and breathtaking sights, like the catacombs, or any of the old and castles, left to ruin. No food was tried, no culture was experienced, no history was truly experienced. Theresa and Steve did absolutely nothing to immerse themselves into the Parisian culture and they got nothing out of it, so what the fuck did they expect? This rings of entitlement and childish behavior and it’s fucking stupid. Chapter 9 has infuriated me like no other chapter so much to the point that I don’t even feel as though I can properly express how angry I am.  But, for the sake of my own sanity, we’ll move along. Theresa says she misses chipmunks which have absolutely nothing to do with Paris or what she was just talking about but I guess this statement is at least semi-important. At about 9 pm they go out to a second-floor restaurant that obviously has a dress-code and expect to be serviced like entitled children. Surprise, surprise, they’re not serviced because they’re dressed in ‘American casual’. Even in the United States, restaurants that have a dress code have the right and will refuse you service if you’re not adhering to that code. So Steve and Theresa decide to seat themselves, and this may be getting nitpicky, but once more it shows how little research Boutin did and how uncultured he is, because, despite the fact that it’s 9 at night, he says ‘Bonjours’ to a French couple next to him. Yes, ‘Bonjours’, not ‘Bonjour’, he fucking adds an ‘s’ to the end. A quick lesson in French: Bonjour is only used during the morning/early-middle of the day. It literally translates to ‘good day’, and you wouldn’t say ‘good day’ to someone at 9 pm. 9 am you can, in fact, that’s acceptable. But at 9 pm, you would say ‘good night’, or ‘Bonsoir’. It doesn’t take years of French to know this. It takes two seconds of searching on Google which I am convinced Boutin is incapable of doing at this point Anyways, they leave the restaurant after showing to everyone that it was mE, DIO THE WHOLE TIME. NEVER FUCKING WOULD HAVE GUESS THAT, WOULD YOU? Just kidding, that would have been better. No, they just reveal that it was Theresa and Steve the whole time who aren’t (no they definitely are) random American slobs. Moving along, they go to Ireland this time and have a fucking blast, I guess. Then they go back to England and back to the Parker residence, where Theresa finds out that Steve had the soldiers build Theresa a little shed/cage thing for chipmunks, which he is having imported from the United States. Why? Because she missed them. Once again, it’s not like it’s been 3 weeks since Theresa found out the world was ending and she hasn’t really done jack shit to try and fix it. The world definitely isn’t completely and utterly fucked. Chapter 10  We have finally made it to the last chapter of this review and by far one of the most confusing ones. To save you the pain I had to go through of trying to decipher this chapter because I feel like being nicer than Boutin was to me after chapter 9, Theresa gets a new ‘reflex’ where every time she closes her eyes or puts her hands in front of her face (one of the two, I still can’t tell) she basically has a black and white google earth pop up, except it’s moving in real-time. She can zoom in and zoom out and spy on people or see places that are far away as they’re happening. I don’t know what the point of this is yet, but I guess it’s a good thing.  Theresa also gets HAL to do the things that she wanted him to do in the ‘training’ exercises I mentioned earlier, and the way that Boutin describes it is super fucking confusing, so I’ll just put it simply by saying that Theresa gets HAL to do the thing and HAL does the thing well. And then, she’s working to get HAL to do the thing super fast and to do multiple things all at once.  People took her trip to France and Ireland well, I guess because it’s an indication that she’s still interested in things outside of herself. This is completely unrealistic and at this point, I highly doubt anyone would be letting Theresa do jack shit aside from working to save the earth. There would probably be a lot of riots and arguably, if things were realistic, Theresa would be dead as soon as people learned that HAL could transfer over if she died and chances were, they’d give HAL to somebody older and with more experience who had a team working behind them to make sure that they do the right thing. Chipmunks are important again because the Parker family finds it super endearing that she managed to get the chipmunks to eat out of her hand, and they take videos of it and post it all over social media. Theresa claims that the videos were shown on every corner of the planet, especially in kid’s programs, which apparently showed the clips every day. This totally doesn’t sound like indoctrination to me. At all. Somehow, because she’s taking good care of the chipmunks, this is supposed to make people have faith in her skills.  Theresa realizes that there needs to be rain, but we don’t find out what she does about that in this chapter which is fucking stupid. This entire book is fucking stupid and if I didn’t have problems with the idea of leaving things half-finished, I would have stopped reading it at this point. And that’s it. That is chapters 5-10. I hoped you enjoyed living through this hell with me. See you all whenever I get around to another review. Remember, if you have a book you want me to review, feel free to hit me up with an ask or some other way and I will do my best to get back to you. 

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep6: Gozaburo Kaiba Just Casually Started WWIII And Only This One Guy Cares

Welcome to November, where we celebrate writing a 50,000 word book as if I don’t do that every single time I write about an episode of Yugioh. Hello, this is my season. It’s wordy season. I’m so freakin good at doing this. I can’t say most of what I’ve made is any good, but I CAN say at least I’m prolific. Do enough content to fill that bitter pit and walk right over it, that’s been my motto for the past 5 years.

Anyway, I had an awful flu this past week. (Everyone I live with had it so every bathroom was like ground zero) It was SO bad. I still can’t eat spicy food over a week later (Which is so hard for me because usually I can keep up with my Indian friends, that’s my spicy level--max spicy, please--but since this illness, my white taste genes went into overdrive and I tried putting pepperoncini slices in my sandwich and it set my mouth on fire. Pepperoncini. It’s v embarrassing.)

I did attempt to write this post. Unfortunately I never made it past this cap because I got VERY distracted by the emblem on Alister’s face, and how it isn’t proportionally adjusted to match the angle of his face, and it was like three paragraphs of just wanting to talk about it. And then at some point I got very distracted talking about how many empty glasses I was given at my place setting at this baby shower I went to during the flu epidemic, and it mattered a whole lot to me at the time, but I think, overall, was mostly just some sort of nonsense. The things I’ve spared you. 

(bro has just informed me that the 4 gold-lipped crystal goblets I was given at this baby shower was actually very distressing and a very big deal and that I should absolutely talk to at least someone about it, but maybe he’s just saying that to make me feel better, but I have no idea. I am too sick for sarcasm at this time but my god why was I given so many glasses????)

I straight up have no memory of if I’ve made this joke before. Maybe.

(read more under the cut)

Since it feels like 8 years since the last time I could just eat chicken without feeling like I consumed an entire Thanksgiving meal, a little recap:

-Alister pretended he was Pegasus to lure Kaiba and then, off screen, murdered everyone in Pegasus’ castle

-Pegasus got murdered by I’m pretty sure Mai (which is like...OK then...)

-Yugi and Co went on vacation by driving directly through San Francisco and peeking out the window and saying “yeah that’s enough for me”

-No adults, not even Roland, bothered to come with their kids this time, so the only adult of the entire crew--Pegasus--is dead

-Rex and Weevil are luggage

-The Eye of Sauron showed up and it was the end of the world but Yugi threw a dragon at it so I guess everything is OK now

-Monsters are real but they are hard to animate so we’ll just pretend like they’re causing havoc everywhere although most of the planet seems basically unaffected by this.

-The Grim Reaper is a friendly monster that hangs out in a Japanese park and that feels fairly on brand.

And I think that was all that was happening so far.

In a weird twist of fate, Mokuba is the only one in this room that isn’t trapped which sort of...if you’re the only one NOT kidnapped wouldn’t that also be a type of being kidnapped?

And we finally get to figure out why Alister wants to Murder Kaiba so bad and, spoiler, it reaches.

???

I’m gonna get more to the obvious problems with Alister’s devotion to murdering all the Kaibas in a bit but yes, Alister is in fact going to try and Kill Kaiba on this kid’s show because of Kaiba’s Dad, who is such a horrible and abusive person that Kaiba essentially drove the bastard out of Japan and straight to the bottom of the ocean.

Just kinda feels like Alister has been living under a rock...which, I guess he has been. He has been living in some weird Atlantis structure so I guess he never got the memo that Gozaburo Kaiba is hella dead.

So that’s what they’re up to. How’s Sausalito?

Um.

Huh.

So the North Bay is a really classic scenery. It’s rolling hills. It’s NAPA. It’s like...definitely not Arizona. California has a couple of mesas but they’re no where near here and the Monument Valley style Mesas really only exist in Monument Valley.

And I know it’s because the background artist for Yugioh is all horny for horny rock structures but like...this couldn’t be farther from the Bay Area in the way that it is drawn and it is such a shock after all the work they did last episode to research that Bay Area lore. Once they crossed the Golden Gate they were like “well no one will care about this part” which is true not only of Yugioh but also of real life Californian politics.

Anyway, I have been making a map, but unfortunately my original file will not suffice. time to fix it.

There we go. Now they’re in the right place. Just smack dab in Monument Valley, Arizona, smack dab in the middle of the Navajo Nation and so hypothetically, not even in the United States anymore.

While in the car, Yugi has just been anxious as hell the entire time, and just going “y’all I have a bad feeling I’m uncomfortable I have a bad feeling” while Joey and Tea just patiently stared at him flipping out in the corner. So...kinda like a normal trip with someone who has high anxiety/possessed by a ghost. I  kinda feel like this is every girls trip to Disneyland for me. There’s always one Yugi who’s like “no one said anything about CROWDS.” and you kinda just gotta let them do their thing. Just let them get it out of their system and hide in the bathroom when they need to hide in the bathroom and don’t fight it, they’ll be fine. Just hold their spot in line when they desperately look for a secret place to medicinally vape because there’s too many freakin children at Disneyland.

And it is HILARIOUS that Yugi is able to have this type of premonition but cannot figure out that they have somehow missed San Fransisco and have wandered into a DESERT.

Back in Pegasus’ California (an island that legitimately looks more like California than actual Yugioh California) Alister has decided to go completely off the rails and it happens so fast and without any warning.

the line is actually “This doll used to be my brother’s” which is a very different meaning but both are likely from weird ass Alister and this weird ass show, so I’ll leave the cap like this (although yes, this is what I thought Alister was saying for kind of a while until I recorded it for this blog and was like “oh shoot I heard the line wrong when I had the flu huh.”)

Man, RIP Noah, he would have been excellent this episode.

Honestly seems like just yesterday when Seto and Noah were pitted against eachother by a cyberdemon Dad-head floating in the sky, Mokuba was possessed for some reason and being used as a human shield, Tristan was a robot monkey, and Yugi was just shrugging at Kaiba from across the field like “Kaiba if you don’t play good you die--oh my gods, he died. Well that was bound to happen...again.” Man.

Alister should be their best friend, this is nonsense.

So lets do the math to 7 years before 2002.

I searched Wikipedia for wars during 1995 (they do have a list of 90′s wars) and looked for any that involved heavy use of tanks and their artillery fire (on big swatches of cities like this), inner city western architecture, temperate landscapes, and western clothing that match Alister and Mikey (AKA WWII vibes) and found out:

Nothing fits that description

UNLESS Alister and Mikey are time travelers from a WWII bombing in Europe. This is Yugioh. That could happen. Probably not, but youknow...it’s not too late for Yugioh to bring in time travel.

I mean if you don’t want to get super political in your cartoon just invent a world war I guess? We’ve already clarified that Gozaburo was Big Boss, so at this point I can easily see him inventing wars just to sell ships.

(I could probably add thousands of more deaths at this point but I have no idea where they are, if they’re on a tiny island or an entire country so I’ll just...leave the count alone but just now it’s implied that a hell ton of people died during this episode)

People going off about how Sesame Street is so amazing for talking about issues like you’re Dad going to prison while Yugioh was straight up talking about the intricacy of the War Economy. Yugioh being all “don’t forget kids, your good capitalist economy survives off of the undeserved bloodshed of civilians in other countries! Eat the poor!” and it’s like hot damn this heavy commentary came out of freakin no where.

Anyways, this is stuff most kid’s shows will delicately skip over but nah, Yugioh is going to go here, and they are going to steamroll directly through it with massive tanks.

So, lets kill this kid’s entire family and talk about the terrors of the World War of 1995 and all the war orphans who get recruited to become soldiers at the ripe old age of 9. Alister was 9 when he was recruited to be a child card soldier.

This kid’s show.

Alister is...basically Raiden, right? Like as long as we’re talking about Metal Gear, this kid is just one step away from cyborg implants and weird colored blood?

Better wear bright red when you visit the war crime scene, surprised Gozaburo didn’t invite like an entire photo -op crew to incriminate him even further.

Now we did look up “where the hell is Alister from Yugioh from?” (there is no answer) and we did find out a little factoid. In the Japanese version of the show, Gozaburo had bought the land and was just forcibly evicting Alister and his family from their home with tanks.

Which is wild.

He just straight up evicted an entire metropolitan city????

Like the dub did a way better job than the sub at this one, I’ll give them that.

It’s just so weird that Gozoboro just didn’t like...raise the rent like a normal bad landlord. Instead he was like “rather than gentrify my land and save me a ton of money, I’ll just destroy everything I just bought and murder everyone here” which is like...

...Seto did the world so many favors when he kicked out his Dad, right? Like Damn. I don't understand why Alister isn’t freakin worshiping Seto right now when his whole deal is “I must kill Gozaburo” and Seto’s like “yo I already did that. Twice. I didn’t even have to literally kill him either, I just embarrassed him so bad that he killed himself. His stupid tank company sells joke games now. I literally turned the man into a joke.”

Then again, Alister is on the green magic and like I think it alters your brain chemistry somewhat.

(How ripped did Alister get in this episode, by the way? The kid is like 16 years old or something so how did this happen? ...The perpetual horny line running straight through Yugioh, man. Look at it run. That 16 year old is drawn like he’s 28 and really into Crossfit and his crop top gets smaller and smaller like every scene.)

So like this is a very gray issue that I cannot believe they brought up in a kid’s show (like can you imagine if Scrooge McDuck had to face facts that his company murdered tons of people???), but also this is Seto Kaiba. Seto grew up in the system, so like he doesn’t need to be lectured to about dirty money because he was on the losing end of that not too long ago. Seto is himself basically a upscale war orphan since he was adopted by Gozaburo to continue the machine like a freakin maniac (a Solidus Snake, if you will) so of all the people on this show I don’t get why Seto would care about this. This is just how Seto views the entire world as either losing or winning and no reason to feel bad about it because he’s been both.

Also...Seto stopped the machine. Kind of. He was unaware that cards were the same thing as weapons, but at least he stopped the sale of huge child-stealing tanks.

So they play the game for a little while and Seto does kind of poorly as usual, and just when I thought this episode couldn’t get any weirder...

And just like that, Seto peaces out. Like he does almost every single time he has ever played a card game solo except for that one time he was playing Joey Wheeler. (Which was also one of the few times Seto ever won.)

Like I just want to remind you that this segment is in the same episode as WWIII and the tonal whiplash is pretty remarkable.

That’s right, we’re back in the Unnamed Monster World, which is not the Shadow Realm, and which I thought you could only access if you were dreaming and able to search through the puzzle maze.

Apparently this can just happen at any time and all that stuff with the guiding Kuriboh and Yugi and Pharaoh trying to find this place was just...them wasting time.

Again he ditches the legendary sword so freakin fast because who needs a sword when you have a dragon? Only this anime.

And that’s how Seto, who was absolutely going to lose this game, somehow just barely came to a draw.

So just to recap, Seto has yet to win a card game that he didn’t get prophetic help for via a hallucination or Yugi telling him what to do. Unless you count Joey and grandpa.

Then, the one last adult I forgot about, the driver of Yugi’s car, decides that it’s about time that he also died and left this show as adult free as possible.

THE HELL ARE THEY?

Also...maybe it’s the angle but the writing on that gas station looks a lot like kanji.

Yo, what if this is the backgrounds for a different show and they’re just sharing? I mean I doubt it because Yugioh had a good enough budget but...what if? What if that’s why they’re in Arizona?

Anyway, next time we’ll find out if this guy just drops dead or has been a Yugioh monster this whole time, and I think maybe both?

And if you just got here, this is a link to read all my Yugioh recaps in chrono order

[gelo-p]

Am I qualified to write this? ^^;;

Also known as just “putting T10 into perspective” because frankly this isn’t any different from just telling someone to “play like hell” XD

First things first: FLAMES (which means... STARS)

You’re going to need a lot of stars, so if you don’t have an ungodly amount of them yet, please support the game buy the premium / happy boxes since they give you the most stars for the lowest price. HOWEVER, you will need to log-in for 25 days to reap the full benefits.

If you don’t have enough time until the event you’re gunning for, you’re gonna have to really support the game buy the standard star packs instead.

Second: BESTDORI IS YOUR FRIEND

Create an account on Bestdori to get specific numbers about your team (EP gain, CP gain, Band power, Max score, etc.), using the Team Builder. Please note that Bestdori assumes you’ll always FC (there’s a setting to account for Perfect-Great, but no setting to account for Good / Bad / Miss), and it’ll give you the maximum numbers possible. We know that’s not the case in real life, so we’re going to account for that later.

Also, familiarize yourself with the various pages (Events, Event Archives, Team Builder) while you’re at it. ^^

Ready? WE CAN DO IT GO GO GO~

I. Setting your Target EP

Okay, so getting into a desired tier (T1, T2, T3, T10, T100, etc...) is all about your final Event Points (EP). Nothing else. Problem is, you don’t actually know how much points you’ll need - the moment you think you’ve figured it out, everyone else goes nyooooom~ *insert Lamborghini sounds here* and raise the bar for you. So, you got no choice but to overestimate right from the start (if you underestimate and find out later on, you won’t have enough time to catch up no matter how hard you try) and just believe that your final EP will be good enough.

I really wish there was a good method for estimating the final EP needed, but the sad reality is, there isn’t. You’re going to have to rely on past data and even then, you’re going to have assume that everyone else trying to do the same thing is going to outcraze you.

Let me give my case as an example.

I wanted to T10 Cycling Seasons, which is a Challenge Live Afterglow event. This being a major event (major just means “all members involved are from the same band”), I knew that I had to check other major events as basis. The last major Challenge Live was My Ideal, so I headed over to Bestdori’s Event Archives page for that event to get a feel of how much EP I’ll need.

From this, I saw the final cutoffs for each tier. We know that the event took 9 days 6 hours (click on the event banner for more info; also an event is always N days + 6 hours), so this page is essentially saying,

“To get T10, you need to play at a pace of 65,320 EP/h continuously for 9 days and 6 hours.”

Now, we know that you can’t actually play 24/7, so we have to translate this to something more reasonable. If you’re only going to play, say, 14 hours a day, then realistically you’re looking at:

9 days x 14 hours/day + 6 hours (you want to be awake for that final 6 hours) = 132 hours

Which means:

14,501,103 EP / 132 hours = 109,857 EP/h. For every hour that you’re awake.

Now, again, this is just for My Ideal. I want to translate this for Cycling Seasons, an event I would later find out to be 8 days 6 hours. So, I actually want to get:

8 days x 14 hours/day + 6 hours = 118 hours

110,000 (rounded up) EP/h x 118 hours = 12,980,000

“Hmmm, that doesn’t sound right, Afterglow fans are crazy AF.”

Let’s recompute that using 16 hours a day instead: 14,740,000

“This is enough I guess..?”

Spoiler alert: the actual T10 cutoff for Cycling Seasons is 18,497,685.

I personally did 19.2M.

This brings us back to:

“you’re going to have assume that everyone else trying to do the same thing is going to outcraze you.”

I would later learn from T1′s post that they originally contemplated if “18M would be enough for T10”. This just goes to show that you’re just gonna have to sell your soul to Babanbo-sama and hope you get to be the highest bidder.

THERE WAS NO POINT TO THIS CHAPTER WAS THERE :’D

You can’t just base your target EP from some past event. Shoot for the moon and go. Go hard, or go home. T10 or bust.

II. Setting your actual Target EP, and then some

TL;DR - use Bestdori to check your team’s power, assume you’ll play 14 hours a day, and do the Math.

I’m not kidding. Unless you can find a friend who will play the remaining 10 hours per day for you, that is the maximum EP you can get. Okay maaaaybe if you play 16, maybe 18 hours a day. But you’ll need to take breaks. Eat food. Take baths. Talk to your Ran Nesoberi and ask them why you’re doing this. Realistically speaking, you’ll really only have 14 hours of gameplay per day. You can play for 7, rest for 5, play for 7, rest for 5 if you want (again: be awake during the final 6 hours). But completing your daily quota is important. It’s easy to think “I’ll just... catch up tomorrow”, which I did once, not gonna lie, but you’ll find out that you’re just waking up earlier than usual and getting tired earlier in the day than you planned to.

And then you’ll find yourself playing juuuuust a little more each day. Which is very good for your score, but bad for your health. But hey. You’re already crazy enough to try T10 solo anyway ^o^

So. Go to Bestdori, and use the Team Builder.

1) Select the event you’re gunning for.

2) Select Multi-Live (never play Free Live for competitive) and set the parameters. Make sure your team is actually good enough to join the Grand Room (any less and you’re fucked), and assume you’ll be playing with reasonably strong players.

This is where having friends/private rooms come in handy: you know exactly what their team is, leaving much of the guesswork out.

3) Select a META SONG you’re comfortable with playing a lot. Meta songs give you the most points for the shortest amount of time, that’s why you see them get picked a lot.

Relax, you’ll rarely encounter players who pick 27+ Meta songs. Most of the time it’s going to be Jumpin’, Home Street, Fuwa Fuwa time, Unite from A to Z... so practice those songs a lot.

(Nyan Poi, Tokimeki Poporon, and Initial also makes that list. Also, if there’s a newly released song, expect it to be played a lot. Looking at you, Kyu~Mai Flower... just glad Fire Bird was released after my event)

FC’ing in Hard is better than getting inconsistent results in Expert. If you’re already tired, pick Hard. No shame in that.

My personal pick is Home Street. ^^ I sometimes pick Tokimeki Poporon though, even though it’s not as good meta-wise, just because my fingers can auto-pilot it even when I’m half-asleep.

Also pick how confident you are in getting Perfects / Greats. There’s no setting for Good / Bad / Miss, so be careful. Realistically you should be able to clear 90 / 95 if you’re aiming for T10.

4) Set your cards and items, although you should have set this already in the Cards section under Profile. This subsection is mostly for cards you’re planning to get, or you just wanna see what a fully-decked team can do.

That reminds me - make sure you have all Area Items for your Band / Attribute maxed out! This will help a lot. Prioritize the items based on the band you’re going to be using.

5) Calculate!

“Park” is there to help you get a very specific number of EP. It’s what people use to get exactly 10,000,000 points / 7,777,777. So for now, choose Maximize Event Points.

Always pick 3 Flames (you won’t have time for anything less), and take note of the EP in the left side (4,380). For Challenge Lives, also note the CP (219).

Now, CP is actually just EP / 20 rounded up, so you can still derive that even if you only note the EP.

IMPORTANT: This is the maximum EP you can gain. I find that -200 (in my case it was 4275 EP, and thus 214 CP) is more realistic. Initially I set it to 4200, but found after Day 4 that I was waaaaay above target, so I set it to 4275 later on.

Also, note the “Afterglow - Powerful” below. This refers to the Area Items you have to use.

As you can see, I cleared 250k Band power, so I’m actually able to use the Grand Room.

6) For Challenge Lives:

Go back to the Live subsection, and pick Challenge Live.

For the song, you have to pick one of the songs that’s actually available for the Challenge Live. Click on the event info, and see what the songs are.

In my example, for Cycling Seasons, it’s best to pick Scarlet Sky (either EX or Special, note the color under R). However, I find that picking the song I can FC consistently is better (for both my hands and for estimation), so I stuck with Brand New Days on Hard. It’s okay if you don’t know which song to pick yet, you can just decide during the event once you’ve tried them. However, for the purpose of planning this early, stick with the first Hard song.

Recalculate for the Challenge Live.

Again, as a safety net, assume you won’t always get 26,380. In my case, I estimated it to be 25k (initially 26k). It’s a little drastic, but I’d really rather assume the worst case. Realistically I was getting 26k most of the time, but when I was really tired it’ll dip down to 25k (I got 24.8k sometimes...).

And that’s from playing in Hard.

For other event types, you’ll find that the same team will give you different scores. Challenge lives just have lower Multi-Live scores because you’re expected to compensate using the Challenge Live.

OKAY~! Now we have the EP and CP / Multi-Live, and EP / Challenge Live. Time to estimate how much points we can actually get from that.

(The calculation is going to be different for other event-types, I’ll provide that later)

Multi-Live Score: 4275

Challenge Points gained: 214

Challenge Live Score: 25000

A Challenge Live is going to require 800 CP (you won’t have time for the 200/400 variants), so...

Number of games to activate CL: 800 / 214 = 3.74

Each Multi-Live game requires, on average, 3.5 minutes (this number drops to 2.8 minutes if you can find friends to consistently quickly pick songs with) to complete, so that’s 3.74 x 3.5 = ~13.1 minutes. Add to that the time required to complete a Challenge Live, which is around 2.37 minutes, and we get 15.47 minutes to complete a “set”. (Again, this is just on average)

In one hour, you can complete 60 / 15.47 = 3.87 sets (round down for safety!).

So how much score can you get per set?

Well, a set is 3.74 Multi-Lives (@ 4275 EP each) + 1 Challenge Live (@ 25000 EP), so:

3.74 x 4275 + 25000 = 40988 EP / set. You have 3.87 of those per hour, so

40,988 x 3.87 = 158,623 EP/h.

That is going to be the final EP/h (at least for every hour playing).

Multiplied by the number of active hours for the entire event (14 x 8 + 6), we get:

18,717,514. But I scored 19.2M, remember? Which means I played some more, and had a good safety net based from my estimates.

That is how you get your final EP target.

To just summarize...

FOR NON-CHALLENGE LIVES (which I didn’t give an example for XD ):

*** for VS lives, assume you’re in 3rd place; safer to assume you’re in 5th

0) Active hours = (num hours per day playing x num days) + 6

1) Get (safe) Multi-Live score from Bestdori

2) Assume each Multi-Live is 3.5 mins long

3) 60 / 3.5 = 17.14 games per hour

4) 17.14 games x Multi-Live score = your EP/h for every hour you’re playing (let’s call it active EP/h)

5) Active EP/h x Active Hours = final EP

6) Number of flames needed = 17.14 games x 3 flames per game x Active Hours

FOR CHALLENGE LIVES:

0) Active hours = (num hours per day playing x num days) + 6

1) Get (safe) Multi-Live score, and CP gained per multi-live

2) Get (safe) Challenge Live score

3) Assume each Multi-Live is 3.5 mins long, assume each Challenge Live is 2.37 mins long (adjust for the actual song)

* note that this is the duration OF THE LIVE, not THE SONG. From when you press the “Live” button to the next time you do.

4) A “set” is an 800-CP Challenge Live + the Multi-Live games required to collect 800 CP

5) A set takes (800 / CP gain x 3.5 mins) + CL song duration to complete

6) A set score is worth (ML score x 800 / CP gain) + CL score

7) 60 / Set duration = sets per hour

8) Set score x sets per hour = your EP/h for every hour you’re playing

9) Active EP/h x Active Hours = final EP

10) Sets played = sets per hour x Active Hours

11) Number of flames needed = 3 flames per ML x 800 / CP gain x Sets played

Probably easier if I just provide a Google Sheets link :))))

------

At this point, you’re really just going to have to pray that this is enough to get you to the tier you want.

Whale for cards if you have to. Get the best team possible. All members should belong to the same band (THIS IS REQUIRED); all members should have the same attributes as much as possible. For now, events let you get away with different band members, as long as you get the same attribute:

But some time in the future, events doing the opposite - you’ll need the exact members to maximize your gains.

(this is widely considered a dick move to force players to try and roll for specific characters... but that’s a business for ya’).

Get Level 5 skills. Maximize your area items (I’ve already said that...). Get cards with score-boosting skills (preferably the +90/+110% based on HP, +100%, +115% for Perfecs, etc) - this is very important for Challenge Lives. For Multi-Lives, only your leader’s skill matters. Stay awake for 1 or 2 more hours per day (hahahaha...) The point is, when gunning for T10, you’re going to need every help you can get.

Find private rooms to shorten that 3.5-min-per-live thing. You get to cram more points per hour this way. You can also ensure people only pick Meta songs, to keep your score average higher than the safety net.

If you can find someone to play for you while you sleep so you can maximize 24 hours per day instead of being limited to 14 hours, please do so. You can play for 7 while they play the other 7. This way you’re not as dead. T1 and T2 accounts usually have ~4 to 6 of these people, that’s how they can get crazy high scores.

IF YOU HAPPENED TO CHALLENGE 10x 24/7 ACCOUNTS, YOU HAVE NO HOPE OF GETTING INTO T10. No amount of effort will get you there.

Thankfully most of the time there’s only like, 1 to 3 24/7 accounts. If by the end of Day 2, you see that you’re outside T10 and all of them have crazy high scores (even though you’re on track), cut your losses and play for T100.

“Don’t put in effort for T11.”

III. Some Tactics, I guess?

For non-Challenge Lives, there are no tactics involved: just keep playing. Seriously. If you wake up and you’re outside the tier you want, keep playing and hope the others are sleeping.

For Challenge Lives, it can get a little bit interesting.

See, everyone wants to get as many points as they can, buuuuut nobody wants to put in more effort than they need to (unless they’re making a statement).

And that’s where the Challenge Live mechanic comes in. See, in other event types, what you see is what you get: the EP/h by the other people is consistent. You know that if you sleep for 3 hours, they’ll get ahead with an EP equivalent to 3 hours.

But in Challenge Lives, it’s possible to get your EP to accelerate. To nyooooom~. It’s not a secret that playing a game that’s 2.37 minutes long but gains you 25k points is waaaaaay faster than 3.5 minutes per game but only 4275 points. And that’s why you should hide your CP as much as you can. You’ll still consume some CP per day (it’s not possible to consume all that CP is just 6 hours...), but leave enough to do a final 6-hour sprint.

“Is there a point to this?”

Well... yes and no. If your opponents are reactive, e.g. only puts in effort when they feel like the others might surpass them, then it’s a huge advantage for you, because once you start nyooooming during the final day, they’ll have no time to react anymore. That’s what I did, and went from T11 to T6 in 5 hours 11 minutes. You just want them to “relax” during the first few days, so that they don’t put in too much effort (they’ll all still nyoooom during the last day anyway!). The worst you can have is an opponent that decides midway to be a 24/7 account, because they felt threatened by your score.

HOWEVER, if your opponent thinks the same way as you do, and only believes in the final EP, then chances are they might also do the same thing. Then it’s anybody’s game.

But maaaybe you can catch one or two off guard.

NOTE: Playing the same song over and over again for 5 hours is... tiring. At the end of it you might have broken fingers like I do (my left thumb barely works right now) XD

IV. Some Tips, I guess? Is this different from Tactics...?

Also compute how much effort to get into T100 (basically the exact same process; however, you CAN use the T100 EP tables found in Bestdori. Just double that. That’s still a reasonable estimate). You’ll be able to see how many flames are needed to do so; once you reach that amount of flames (but while going at a T10 pace; so around 2 full days), decide if you can actually keep up or not. If yes, then by all means, keep going; if no, relax a bit, and just try to stay around T50. If you kept up with T10 for 2 days, you’re almost guaranteed to be in T100 with minimum effort during the remaining days.

You should prepare an Excel Sheet to track your progress. One column for “Flames” used, another for “Challenges Played”. Every multi-live, you insert a “3″ into flames. Every Challenge Live, you insert a “1″ into CL’s. Kinda like this:

I personally add an “estimated time of completion” (see the value in E?) just to make it easier to visualize what time I’ll be done for the day. For this screenshot, it shows I’m actually ahead by -0.3 flames and -17.32 challenge lives.

In a separate sheet (but same file), I have the target for the current “iteration” / “day”. This lets me divide the effort into days / half-days.

Again, it’s probably going to be easier to explain if I just provide a Google Sheets for this ^_^ (or an Excel template)

...I’m not sure if “track T10″ scores has any use at this point. THEY WILL TRACK YOU, that’s for sure. However, I did gain confidence that they’ve already used up their CP during the last day, because I was tracking them. I also knew how much their ML and CL scores were. So I knew I still had enough CP to catch up. So maaaaybe it’s useful after all..?

As for the free flames... forget it. Don’t rely on the flame regen. Recover 90 flames every time (which is around 1 hour 45 mins of gameplay to consume) so you don’t break your momentum. “There’s only 10 minutes left until the next flame, maybe I should wait it out?” Nah-ah. Unless you’re in the middle of a major break (e.g. sleeping), don’t wait for the flames to regen. Assume that you’re going to pay for every flame you’re ever going to need. While you’re taking breaks you can probably watch ads, but it’s not going to make much of a dent. You’re gonna get some free flames from leveling up, but don’t account for that.

When playing in the dead of the night, have some Netflix in the background. Or just some TV. Anything that’ll keep you awake.

IF AT ANY POINT YOU FIND THERE’S NO INTERNET, start consuming your challenge points (use mobile data). You’re not allowed any downtime. It’s a sad reality, and it might ruin your pace / surprise, but nothing you can do about it.

During Multi-Lives, join the sticker spam. It’ll at least make you smile. Dooon’t join too much though, sometimes they keep that going and cost you so much time... Xp

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I can’t think of any more tips aside from these ones ^_^; I’ll update this once I have those Excel sheets ready / cleaned up.

Good luck and have fun~ ^o^

EDIT: Here’s a Dropbox link to the T10 Calc. You’re going to need Excel though.

1) Estimate using the EP Estimator sheet. This will give you all sorts of info.

2) Input the current day into the Tracker Meta sheet. (Nothing else to change there) This will give you your flames / challenge live targets for the day.

3) Input your progress in the Tracker sheet. It’ll give you an estimate of when you’ll be able to complete the current iteration. ^^

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*thinks about it*

*really thinks about it*

How is this any different from just “play like hell” ?? @_@ There’s nothing new about this advise at all XD (except maybe put into perspective just how much time and resources it’ll consume)

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Uchitama 7 - 8 | Eizouken 8 - 9 | ID: INVADED 8 - 11 | Iruma-kun 22 - 23 (FINAL) | BnHA 82 - 83

Uchitama 7

Lemme guess…this is the ve-Yep.

The name of this segment is Ottamake. The ke means fur/hair, but it does seem like it’s referring to Tama otherwise.

For some reason, Bull’s really into cats…

LOL, you can see the cat food right there is a real brand. I dunno how they got away with that.

Hmm, this show has something to say about idol business…and it does it better than some of the human idol shows! That says something.

It even comments on the “graduation” system. Whaddaya know.

Welp, I never thought an anime could pull off this with a commentary on gender presentation, to boot. (It’s not as pervasive as Stars Align’s, but it’s still one of the better ones. I guess I shouldn’t expect it as a norm though.) I thought Kai was a dude though and so Bull’s interactions came off to me as massively gay. I’ve been thinking, maybe he’s pan? Can dogs be pansexual???

Why do I get the feeling Kai is going to be introduced into 3-chome? Update: Doesn’t happen.

This song sounds very idol-like.

Uchitama 8

Aww…I feel like we’re going to learn Nora’s backstory soon. I think it’s going to be real sad.

…Yup, there goes my kokoro. Smol Nora is cute~!

Genki can mean “healthy” as well as “energetic” – the latter is why it’s translated as “spunky”.

Why do I get the feeling Nora’s owner died…?

Oh, smol Nora has a bandaid on his leg.

Let me ask the essential furry question – they hav human ears and animal ears. Which of those sets of ears do they hear with?

Yuuki Kaji does a good job as Nora.

This song’s so sad, it almost got me crying…  

Eizouken 8

This anime is like something from Studio Trigger!

The magic of Eizouken is that you get sucked into the anime they make and never look back.

Tomodachi vs. nakama, I think it is.

Id: Invaded 8

Lately, I’ve been thinking about practical cosplay (everyday wear that also doubles as a cosplay outfit). So basically, I’ve been thinking about Sakaido and El-Melloi II’s outfits a lot, since they’re rather practical while still looking cool. All I’m missing for El-Melloi’s outfit with the red jacket is a black button-up shirt, for El-Melloi’s outfit with the black jacket I’m missing a red scarf and I’m missing a brown button-up shirt for Sakaido’s (although the yellow scarf I got today to get one step closer to two of those isn’t the right mustard colour, it’s more of a lighter yellow).

Also, I noticed it’s (according to the katakana) meant to be “Id: Invaded”, but heck, it’s been ID: Invaded for so long for me, I don’t care either way.

Kiki was born in Fukui.

I always thought Mister Fixer sounded sad and now I think I know why…the bit I remember the most (the line that goes “Mister Fixer” and the bit around it) sounds like the singer is lamenting their life. Now that I see the visuals again after a few weeks (I’d get fatigued if I watched all that Fate/ and still managed to keep up with simulcasts, so I’ve been taking the simulcasts in a few eps at one time), Mister Fixer does quite sound like a crime drama song, but not as much as Thought I Knew (from Stand My Heroes).

I’ve seen images of Anaido and Sakaido in the same well for a few weeks now, so this cooperation bit is no surprise at all.

I believe Fukuda is asking why Narihisago is a –san to her even though they’ve worked together a while.

The words “data profile” are in one corner of the titlecard.

Does Anaido remember who he is in the ID Well? I presume not, but it’s hard to tell since we haven’t had as much time with him as we have Sakaido (not to mention I’ve been regularly filling my head with Fate/ and other things as well lately…so it’s hard to remember).

It’s interesting. Fukuda has the same piercings as Anaido (and even a ring on one pointer finger that matches them!), so he must’ve tried experimenting with…more legal holes, to put it one way…before getting his most iconic one.

Kaeru’s nails are chipped. Hmm.

In #Brake-Broken, which I read the first chapter of earlier (there’s a sample on the Young Ace website), Sakaido notices he doesn’t have a phone with him to call anyone or a licence (because in that manga, he wakes up in a car). It’s likely this will work the same way and Anaido won’t have any possessions on him, aside from the clothes on his back, accessories and the item that was stolen from his wrist/s.

Rings on both fingers…so I should be talking about them in plural. Update: I like how Anaido’s off-the-wall thought processes break up the inherent seriousness of Sakaido’s deductions and utilitarian way of doing things.

Anaido, you grimdark f***er. Update: For trying to eat a dead girl.

Okay, so for the sake of my practical cosplay, I knew I’d need this episode. Sakaido wears a long-sleeve brown shirt with some kind of shirt under that (either brown or black), plus a mustard-coloured scarf. (Note El-Melloi II wears a black shirt under his black button-up shirt, so I went with black as well.) In Brake Broken, I also noticed he wears dark socks (or that could be the leggings) and runners with a lightning bolt on them (I had to make do with generic black runners with a white stripe on the bottom), plus the iconic brown shorts over those (with a triangle pattern)…Why does Sakaido have a scarf anyway, versus Anaido and Miyo who don’t? As much as I like scarves, especially where colder weather is involved, getting a specific colour scarf was a bit of a headache to be honest, since I took 3 trips before deciding on the one I was going to buy (and even then, someone got it before me! The scarf I have now was my 2nd choice). Update: The shorts, leggings and undershirt are black, but I don’t know if Sakaido is wearing any socks or if they’re black too.

Just to note what Anaido has as well (although a coat like that, with the red detailing and flaps, would be hard to find…), he has a blue coat, suspenders, a white button-up top, a string tie (had to google what that was called, although its name is pretty obvious now that I know), black pants (which kinda look like leggings, but they’re not) and leather boots.

Now Sakaido can go into the loony bin…he’s talking to Kaeru.

Is Anaido going in circles? Sakaido caught up real fast…

Um, hey, protip: When stuck in quicksand, try to “float” on it. If you move, you’ll sink into it more. I don’t know how I know that, but I did stick it into my mind for times like this.

Notably, Anaido is about a head taller than Sakaido. Either Sakaido is unnaturally short and Anaido is average…or Anaido is just tall in that way some men are.

Did the bird get to this dude…?

There appears to be a man with a bun facing Hondomachi in the ED, although you can’t tell who it is from silhouette alone…Maybe he hasn’t appeared in the show yet. (Can’t be Matsuoka though. Might be the old guy who’s the head of Kura, actually.)

Update: Is the dead guy Momoki…?

Id: Invaded 9

It’s the familiar ceiling scene from Evangelion! (Okay, I’m kidding, but it’s a similar deal.)

I think the rules of Fate/ are “do it all, until you can no longer do it” (i.e. Everything is the same, until it’s different). It seems it’s the same here too.

Huh? Momoki?

“It doesn’t seem friendly.” – Yeah, and people die whe they are killed…in murder mysteries like this, usually speaking.

I noticed Narihisago’s tie is the same colour as his Sakaido jacket, if not the shirt under that.

Where did the Challenger’s clothes go after he took them off??? Hyperspace??? He wasn’t shown tossing them.

So Kaeru was Asukai all along, huh?

“Look at this.”

“It makes me think about him.” Subbers, that’s two mistakes in less than 1 minute…

I saw a fanart where Narihisago had his arm broken. I didn’t know why, but now I do. Also, TV Tropes is bad if you want to avoid spoilers…I know that already, but I go there anyway sometimes...

“It makes me wanna puke.”

Iruma-kun 22

The anime’s final episode is next week…but there’s already a season 2 in store for next year, so hopefully I survive the coronavirus and sort out all my issues this year in time for it.

Dat OP though. I’ve grown used to it and it’s actually endeared itself to me…which is odd, since I didn’t think I’d like it at first.

Demdol = akudol. Obviously, from “demon”.

Was that…Clara’s mother???  Kuromu’s older bro doesn’t look too bad, either.

Ohmygosh, this is fabulousssssssssss (and hilarious)! I’ve been waiting for this moment for many episodes, as you can tell if you’ve been following along, and I finally got the payoff!

Clara ends her sentence with –akuma (devil), hence the translation is matching it the same way.

Oh my gosh, Ryouhei Kimura (Azz-kun) sucks at being feminine, but that’s exactly what the role requires for this!

If you just pretend Azz-kun isn’t dressed in such an outlandish outfit, he looks really good…! Ayumu Murase does a pretty good falsetto, although you can tell there’s one point where Kimura’s voice gets really manly-sounding for a lady.

“Little imp” – Koakuma.  

Oh! The Keroli family is all cute.

Ooh, Kuromu’s nails are blue. Never noticed that before.

Eizouken 9

Chojugiga are ancient pictures normally depicting animals. As for sepak takraw…

I wonder if Eizouken will tackle the Manabi Line one day…?

That’s a parallel for Comiket, LOL.

“A colossus that no one can see!” – Gridman, is that you?

When did Kanamori meet Asakusa again…?

Kanamori with a bun is cool.

“There is nothing fun about social media!” – Well, social media is fun for me because it’s where I escape reality, but sometimes you gotta be like Kanamori and use it for publicity’s sake.

LOL, the username for the Eizouken is @eizoukenn.

I just realised Mizusaki’s hairstyle is irregular…it’s much longer on on side than the other.

“Mizusaki bump” – I think this references the Colbert bump. (TV Tropes link)

Kanamori – she with the word “gold”…or “money”…in her name – struggles with maths? Wow, that was something to hear. (I guess it’s kinda like me and IT (cybersecurity) – I suck at it because I suck at modulos…or division in short…and even though I can be found on my computer a lot, that’s why I don’t pursue it any longer. I was decent at accounting, but man, I’d be bored out of my brain if you made me do business IT and I have zero skills in games and multimedia.)

“Was it thuggery?” – What’s thuggery? That word sounds funny.

Did you see how Asakusa fell off the tank?

I did CR’s Eizouken quiz sometime in the past and it gave me Asakusa. That’s true, basically. I like thinking up ideas and how cool they are, but because I can’t stop from elaborating on them, they get out of hand and that’s why I have a tonne of dropped projects. (Then again, with how freely I can imagine motion, I could’ve gotten Mizusaki too.) Update: Tried again and I actually did get Mizusaki…whaddaya know.

Id: Invaded 10

People have been comparing this to Minority Report…now I see why.

I almost feel like this is a discussion of euthanasia and suicide as much as it is memory and the consciousness.

Ohh…she remembers! Hondomachi!

You can’t see Muku’s face! Ohh, scary!

Aww, the music really sold this montage. By the way, that sign didn’t say “entrance ceremony”, it said nyuugaku omedetou, “Congratulations on your entry [into school]”.

It…this singer almost sounds like Bruno Mars, but that would be basically impossible, no?

Oh my gosh…when the song swelled, I absolutely cried. That’s rare, man – that’s rare.

BnHA 82

I think the leftmost figure might be Miruko, the rabbit lady. I’ve never read anything about her outside of wiki pages ad other small spoilers, but I roughly know what she looks like.

What does Gentle mean by “Anglaise”? Surely it wouldn’t refer to cream…(crème anglaise)

LOL, Disneyland parades…

Whew…that was dangerous. I almost agreed with Mineta there (to get the festival over and done with).

I swear Midoriya gets together with All Might, just like this, at the end or start of a climactic arc. He did it in the last season of BnHA, remember?

BnHA 83

Hmm…It’s interesting that the author likes to point out who has and hasn’t met Eri. Then again, it’s good for consistency.

LOL, Amajiki my boy…you’re so relatable.

Hmm…amidst the coronavirus concerns…this cancellation business seems quite timely.

Oh! It’s a drone.

For some reason, I thought Sero was drinking vegetable juice…? Eh, no matter. They have vegetable juice in Japan – I remember seeing some on my trip.

Hmm? Gentle is like a phantom thief, I just realised. Mostly harmless, but bound to cause a big stir if he gets his way.

What is Gentle’s Quirk, anyway…?

Work Son…LOL(…?)

Who bets their moustache on this stuff, anyway…? (LOL)

Iruma 23 (FINAL)

I don’t get to see Iruma become evil this season…but he will next season! That visual I’ve been seeing by the original mangaka confirms it!

Marathon - the demon puns are back.

Demonicon =Oricon chart.

Demon Star Platinum…was that…a Jojo’s reference?! *scare chord*

Oh! Maguro (tuna).

Azz-kun being afraid of fish? That’s news to me.

Okay, subbers. Whose idea was it to translate Iruma’s words as “My feels…”…?

There’s a post-credits segment. Keep watching.

Yay! Evil Iruma-kun!...In spring 2021. (I’ve never once been so excited for a character to turn evil than this! I also like how evil Iruma said it’s the “buttcrack” of dawn…but that’s just my immature side showing.)

Id: Invaded 11

“…being taken for a ride!” – Well, you’re in a car, so you’re getting a ride nonetheless. (LOL) I hadn’t heard of the term “being taken for a ride” until…what? 2016, I think? When I was still doing language anaylsis.

Sakaido used Headbutt! It’s…kind of effective? (Writing up these pseudo-Pokémon battles is fun. I should write more.)

“…put a drill to your head…”

“The victims of John Walker’s serial killers…”

I noticed Hondomachi is touching the side of her head which had the hole in it…if I remembered it right.

Is it “the Kura”? Or just Kura?

August 15th is a popular date for anime, huh? It’s in the middle of summer. (Refers to Kagerou Project.)

That ‘who knew you needed to lose something to be complete’ thing…I think I get it, but for some reason I only ever seem to get that feeling when it’s me trying to read asexuality into things (since that’s how I learnt to interpret asexuality), so…yeah, way to go, me.

Wait…Togo visited Momoki’s bedroom?!

Yep, so I was right about that being the side with Hondomachi’s hole.

[jokertrap-ran]

BAD MEDICINE ~Infectious teachers~ [PC GAME] Nagihara Taiki (Mathematics) Route Translations (Ruin END)

MC’s name is retained as the original MC name Kawana Hina.

* Words within ‘   ‘ are spoken in English – *Spoiler free : Translations under cut!

Prologue / Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5/ Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16 / Part 17 / Part 18 / Bad END / Ruin END

--A few years has passed since then.

Time flew by, but yet… My time was frozen.

Repeating. Going around in loops. Time continued on, waiting for no one while I remained in the same room. The very same room I never left.

Mother: Hina? I’m sure you’re awake now, no?

Hina: ………...

Mother: Won’t you at least give me an answer?

Hina: ………...

Mother: How about you open up? Let’s talk a little. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to.

Hina: Shut up!!

Mother: Please...Hina, please. I won’t tell you to go to school ever again!

Hina: Don’t you speak a word about school! It no longer has anything to do with me!!

Mother: ………... I’ll leave your food outside your door so please eat it, okay?

Hina: Sorry, mother...I’m… Really sorry...

Hina: But going out is just...Impossible.

Hina: Why…? How did it come to this…? A-Am I no good after all!?

Hina: Is it because I’m stupid? That’s why I’m no good!?

Hina: (Right… It must be because my intellect is a lost cause...)

Nagihara: Is your brain of such a low caliber that you possess a goldfish’s memory span?

Nagihara: …I’ve come to think that even a monkey’s learning capabilities are much better than yours.

Nagihara: …We’ll stop here today since I can’t seem to progress any further with you.

Hina: I apologize for that…

Nagihara: I’d rather you produce results than to just provide me lip service if you really feel that way.

Hina: (I’m a stupid lower life-form who doesn’t have any worth in living.)

Hina: No...I…!

Hina: (That’s what he said.)

Hina: How mean, how could that be!?

Hina: (Wouldn’t it be better if he didn’t exist?)

Hina: What…?

Hina: (No one would have laughed at me, mocked me, if he didn’t exist! Am I right?)

Hina: That’s...

Hina: (Have you forgotten? He told everyone how you scored only 99 marks!)

Hina: ………...Ngh! Stop already...Stop!

Hina: (He made me a laughing stock!)

Hina: (It’s all his fault, maths too! They’re the reasons why I can’t bring myself to step outside. Hey...I’m right, aren’t I?)

Hina: Right...That’s right...

Nagihara: …Seems like you finally understood. I really can’t comprehend how slow you can be.

Hina: He summoned me to that room and even mocked me...

Nagihara: Please do become a student above all others from now on out. I’m placing my expectations on you.

Hina: That guy...He took me for a loop!

Nagihara: The highest scorer is someone from our class. This person is none other than Kawana-san with 99 marks.

Hina: Arghhh!!

Hina: Haa...Haa…!

Hina: That guy! He!! If only he doesn’t exist!!

Hina: (That’s right, everything will be solved if he isn’t on the face of this earth!)

Hina: (Otherwise...)

Hina: That’s right. Why didn’t I think of that earlier…?

Mother: W-What’s wrong, Hina? Where are you going!?

Hina: Something so simple...Hehe...

Hina: Hehe...Ahahaha! Ahahahahaha!!

Female Student A: Hey, that person... The look in her eyes is really something...

Female Student B: I think we should avoid her. Let’s go.

Teacher: Hm…? Who are you? I’ve never seen you before...

Hina: I’m a transfer student. I’ve finally managed to transfer to St. Christopher, the school that I’ve always admired!

Teacher: W-What…? What’s your class and name?

Hina: Hehe, I’ll be fine so don’t worry about me. If anything, I’ll say that I know where the math preparation room is best. I won’t get lost so I’ll be going now!

Teacher: W-What are you talking about? Ah, hey! Come back here!!

Hina: Please excuse me.

Nagihara: …………! ...You...

Hina: Sensei, why haven’t you called for me lately? --Even though I’m the mathematics representative.

Hina: Didn't you tell me that you’d help me? That you had been expecting things of me?

Nagihara: ………...

Hina: Why? Why won’t you answer me…?

Hina: Why…!!

Nagihara: Ugh! ....Urk…!

Hina: Hey, why haven’t you? Even though I told you that I’d do anything...

Hina: Stop begging for my forgiveness! Hey, why!?

Hina: Answer me! If only you didn’t do those things... If only you weren’t here! Then I wouldn’t be like this...!

Nagihara: ...Urk! ...Mgh..!

Nagihara: ...Kawana...

Hina: What? Sensei…?

Nagihara: I see that you’ve… Finally come...

Hina: What…?

Nagihara: I was always...Waiting...For you... Waiting...For you to...

Hina: What are you talking about? Stop it...

Nagihara: Well...done… ...You did...Well...

Hina: Stop it...Stop!!

Hina: Ah...

Hina: Why are you making such a face…? Why did you...Praise me…?

Hina: …………? Hey, Sensei…?

Hina: NoooOOOOOOOO!!

[illispilli]

Tagged

SI was tagged by the lovely @ra-fe

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

— what was your last…

1. drink: Coca Cola

2. phone call: my dad

3. text message: my friend Johannes

4. song you listened to: runaway - aurora

5. time you cried: last week

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: no

7. kissed someone and regretted it: no

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: yes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no?

— fave colours

12. Black

13. Burgundy

14. Blue

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yes

16. fallen out of love: yes

17. laughed until you cried: yes

18. found out someone was talking about you: yes

19. met someone who changed you: 4 people in fact

20. found out who your friends are: no

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: don’t have facebokm

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: don’t have Facebook

23. do you have any pets: 1 dog named Didge

24. do you want to change your name: my middle name yes

25. what did you do for your last birthday: invited inner circle for video games and pizza night

26. what time did you wake up today: 07:00

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping and dreaming

28. what is something you can’t wait for: finishing school and moving to England

30. what are you listening to right now: die trying-michl

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: nope

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: when ppl are hypocrites

33. most visited website: Netflix I guess

34. hair colour: raven with red shimmer (naturally)

35. long or short hair: medium

36. do you have a crush on someone: yes. Fictional and non fictional

37. what do you like about yourself: my humour and my eyes

38. want any piercings: a nose ring and one on top of my ear (like Alfie deyes)

39. blood type: no clue

40. nicknames: illi, illispilli, avocado

41. relationship status: debatable … But let’s say half single

42. sign: pisces

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: stranger things and riverdale

45. tattoos: none but I would like to have birds tattooed on either my wrist or my collar bone

46. right or left handed: right

47: ever had surgery: in my ear when I was three. Water was stuck in there and I was deaf … Story time yay

48. piercings: two piercings per ear lobe

49. sport: basketball definitely

50. vacation: Greece prbly. Never was outside of Europe and only in five countries.. love it..

51. trainers: adidas, vans

— more general

52. eating: strawberries

53. drinking: water

54. i’m about to watch: nothing

55. waiting for: school to finish and finally having my freedom of life

56. want: someone…

57. get married: yes

58. career: psychologist or YouTuber

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: eyes

61. shorter or taller: taller

62. older or younger: older

63. nice arms or stomach: stomach

64. hookup or relationships: relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: seem hesistant but truly troublemaker

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no

67. drank hard liquor: YES BIATCH

68: turned someone down: yes

69. sex on first date: I wonder why this question is on 69??? And no

70: broken someone’s heart: yes

71. had your heart broken: yes

72. been arrested: no

73. cried when someone died: irl no. I only cried when I watched “Jane the virgin” and SPOILER ALERT Micheal died.

74. fallen for a friend: several times

— do you believe in

75. yourself: to a certain extend

76. miracles: no

77. love at first sight: no

78. santa claus: *in a singing voice* never did..

79. angels: no but ghosts yes

— misc

80.eye colour: brown/green

81.best friend’s name: irl Elena and ginevra. Internet sally @jylansky lydia @treecatface

82.favourite movie: tomb raider

83.favourite actor: young Leonardo DiCaprio and Troye Sivan (yeh my idol he counts as well)

84: favourite cartoon: Rick and Morty

85: favourite teacher’s name: Mr. Jones (sports and math teacher)

@treecatface @jylansky @missdictatorme @samfuckingdrake @unchxrted @joecksbaby @fhujami @memesmemesandnothingbutthememes @avast-you-dirty-dog @danielhowell (maybe he’ll see who knows) @gigi-drake @holyshitsamdrake @inlovewithjaspar @joeck @queenoflibertalia @rav3nb1ack @suggysuggsugg @unchxrted I don’t have enough friends to tag 20 ppl…

[idthellyeah-blog]

A totally timely and significant review of Rancid’s “...And Out Come The Wolves”

(I honestly don’t remember when I wrote this, maybe 2015. Definitely just got jacked up on something and decided that I needed to write a track by track review of an album I loved when I was a cool punk teen. It has just been sitting in my Google Drive patiently waiting to be posted.)

 I remember the first time I ever heard/saw Rancid was when the video for “Salvation” off of their second album “Let’s Go” premiered on MTV. Such an 80’s/90’s kid thing to do, discovering a new band by seeing a music video on TV, ugh. I thought the leather clad mohawked bad boys were amazing and perfect and so cool...that I immediately tried to spike my hair using gelatin (tru punx only) and got a leather jacket (did not look that cool and was very sweaty).  When “...And Out Come The Wolves” came out the next year (1995, I’m old AF) I was totally enamored and had found my #1 favorite album of all time (that lasted for like a year until music got better).  I was supposed to go see Rancid at a big show in Omaha, I lived in a small town called Columbus that was roughly 90 minutes away from the big city...but the day of my mom didn’t let me go because I had bad math grades.  I reacted the way any entitled white teen did, by laying in the garage and crying and playing their album.  That show wound up being a huge to-do when fans tore up seats in the venue and threw cushions at the band leading to Rancid not playing Omaha for a long time.  I missed out on some cool bad-ass punk rock shit, first world problems. Fast forward to today when I decided that I, Ian Douglas Terry, needed to write out a song-by-song review of this quintessential punk album.  I’m a real music nut, and obviously very good at structured writing...so here we go!  (Rock on)

1. Maxwell Murder - Oh boy, this one starts with like a subway train sound and then the beginning of a killer/complicated Matt Freeman bass line.  That dude SHREDS the bass, and even has a wild solo in this song.  That’s tight.  Why did they stop letting him sing?  He sounded like a fun Muppet on their first album and I loved his songs.  Maybe he wanted to focus on just shredding the bass and using tons of pomade.

2. The 11th Hour - This song is great.  It is poppy and upbeat and about a woman having dreams and demanding answers.  Hell yeah.  I love good punk music that supports women and feminism and figuring out where the power lies (spoiler alert, it starts and ends with you).  Remember how Brody from The Distillers left Tim Armstrong for the dude from Queens of the Stone Age? And then he got all fat and got a beard?  I can completely relate to that, and have been there sans beard.

3. Roots Radicals - This song RULES.  I had to look up what “Moonstompers” were and who “Desmond Dekker” was.  I remember trying to relate to this like it could somehow compare to living in a town with 20,000 people and the nicest Wal-Mart in the tri-county area.  Remember how there was that Spanish language cover of this on one of those “Give Em The Boot” comps that Hellcat put out? That was real tight.

4. Time Bomb - Hit single baby!  This had a huge hand in getting punk kids into reggae/ska for sure.  Killer organ solo, lots of rude boy shit going, I loved it so much.  Tim Armstrong totally re-used lyrics from the song “Motorcycle Ride” from the previous album...which is hilarious.  Like c’mon dawg...you should know your own lyrics.  I learned how to do the solo from this and felt like a guitar god (it is a very easy solo, like almost too easy).

5. Olympia, WA - I love songs like this that are about cities that the band isn’t from...so you have to fire up your imagination (or just read the lyrics) and be like, “What went down in Olympia, Washington????”.  Turns out it was mostly hanging out on different streets in New York and playing pinball with Puerto Ricans while wishing you were with a person who you were sleeping with in Washington.  Hell yeah, just like Shakespeare.

6. Lock, Step & Gone - Songs about docks were HUGE in my youth.  Dropkick Murphy’s had like eight songs about boys on them, and this Rancid song alludes to them.  I loved all of the blue collar, working class ideology that had nothing to remotely do with my comfortable upper middle class (not sure if that’s accurate because my parents were teachers, and like is there even a middle class any more?) life. This song definitely sums itself up at then end when it says “There’s a whole lot of nothin”.

7. Junky Man - Another theme that I could definitely relate to in a town of 20,000 people with like ten people who did meth...Junkies!  This song is pretty great because the dude from the Basketball Diaries does some sick poetry in it...that movie was nuts.  I like that song that he later wrote/sang about all the people he knew who died. The only way poetry can be cool is if the person is an insane drug addict with cool/sad stories to tell. Otherwise it is just loud diary reading.

8. Listed MIA - At this point I wholeheartedly agree with this song, “I’m checking out”.  I don’t know if I ever really liked this song or if this was just part of the “I accidentally left it playing after the first four songs that I liked were over”.  Lars says the derogatory f-word for homosexuals in it, because people called him that word...that doesn’t seem cool man.  I get that it rhymes with “maggots”, but maybe give white dudes in the Midwest less reasons to sing that word out loud.

9. Ruby Soho - This is one of the best songs ever, hands down.  It is beautiful and you can barely understand what Tim Armstrong is saying but it is wonderful.  I feel like deciphering his lyrics led me to be able to understand most speech impediments, so hell yeah.  This song is about loving someone a lot but having to leave them because it isn’t working out. This song was the blueprint for every romantic relationship I’ve ever had in my entire life so it might be a gypsy curse.

10. Daly City Train - Oh hell yeah, fun Reggae drums!  Through punk and ska I grew to appreciate Reggae, but through being bummed out about that culture’s deep seated homophobia and the fact that most of it is super repetitive and boring and for dad’s on vacation.  I’m just glad that 311 taught me to love those smooth Caribbean sounds again (oh god am I joking or am I serious, I can’t tell any more please save me).

11. Journey to the End of the Easy Bay - I can still play this bass line and was very proud of myself the first time I half-way pulled it off.  It doesn’t sound as smooth and nuanced as the way Matt Freeman plays it, but goddamn it I think that was the height of my skill as a musician.  This song rules themes about needing to belong and finding a place with people who thought and felt the same as you...and then losing it as everyone grows out of it.  This was most of my early 20’s. I grew up in a scene with similarly minded people, it eventually ended and I still have contact with some of those people but that point in my life will never be replicated. I finally belonged somewhere and was part of something bigger than me.  Now I do comedy and it is bleak, entitled, and sad and mostly alcoholics talking about their dicks.  Please take me back.

12. She’s Automatic - This is not a bad song but a very confusing way to describe a woman.  I get that it means she is effortless in “the way that she moves” but maybe I’m not giving Lars any poetic license because he looks like a guy who punched books. This woman sounds great though, and I’m sure they dated for three months.  Revisiting this and that era reminds me that I almost had sex with a girl at the first X-men movie...man, being punk ruled.

13. Old Friend - Back to the Raggae!  This song is pretty great, but they really missed an opportunity of selling this to a heartburn medicine company.  “Good morning heartache, you’re like an old friend come and see me again”...that would be perfect for a commercial of a guy eating a giant plate of lasagna and making a “Oh boy, I did it again!” face.  The Transplants sold a song to that fruit shampoo, maybe this is something I can retroactively help negotiate.

14. Disorder and Disarray -  I love when punk bands have songs about “business men” being evil and the industry being bad.  Like when Against Me were part of an Anarchist collective and then on a major label putting out really bad music.  Rancid was at least on Epitaph, which while arguably not “cool” it was at least run by a kind of punk dude who is responsible for the biggest/shittiest corporate garbage of a festival, The Warped Tour.  This song has a part towards the end where they talk to each other like David Lee Roth would do in Van Halen songs, that rules.

15. The Wars End - I get that this is a song about little Sammy being a punk rocker but at this point I think they should have admitted this album was fine with 10-12 songs and maybe some of these were super repetitive and unnecessary.  It's like you’re forcing it. I can’t imagine the dude who recorded it had a lot of fun and he probably fell asleep and was startled awake and had to pretend like he’d been paying attention the whole time.

16. You Don’t Care Nothin - This starts out with the exact chord progression from Journey To The End Of The East Bay….c’mon guys. You Don’t Care Nothin about being succinct and making your songs individual expressions of art! The themes even seem like something they’ve already gone over.  I’m going to eat some soup, brb.

17. As Wicked - Is this a different song or a weird breakdown?  Oh, it’s a different song.  Well...this soup is pretty good.  Chicken Noodle, but the chunky kind.  It isn’t amazing but it is good. I should really cook more.  Maybe I’ll order Chinese later.

18. Avenues & Alleyways - I don’t really have a problem with this song because it has the “Oi oi oi” chant that the bands I was in during High School would do and we had no idea why other than popular bands doing it.  It is very catchy.  It sounds like the other two songs were just building up to finally getting your attention back. Plus it has a breakdown with people clapping, that is always fun.  This has to be the last song right? It is the perfect last song on an album!

19. The Way I Feel -  FUUUUUUUCK!  What? Really should have ended the album on that last song, it had a good “anthem” vibe and at least wrapped this up into a somewhat sensible endeavor.  This song could have been stuck in the middle somewhere, or maybe just not recorded with about seven others?  The Way I Feel about this album is that there are some parts that hold up and are still fun to listen to, but the rest of it just seems like I’m being forced to read my own teenage diary and it is boring and sad. Nostalgia is a bummer, I can’t imagine having Rancid still be my favorite band.  I’d probably still wear a chain wallet and spiky bracelet and be one of those obnoxious old drunk weirdos I see at shows that stick out like crazy sore thumbs. Bummer dude.

    Oh wow, what a journey (to the end of the east bay, am I right?)...I’m glad I was finally able to get this review out so people could finally know what this album means to me and my generation of lazy weirdos. This took me six months to write and I should be congratulated for being a journalist with tons of integrity and great taste.  True punks never die, they just eventually chill out and shop at Kohl’s.

[makikoigami]

[Fic] Final Fantasy XV - Noctis Week Day 7

Title: “Optimistic negative thing” Day 7: Free choice / Happy Birthday Rating: PG Wordcount: 4929 Spoilers: Spoilers for brotherhood Warnings: Supportive Dad Regis. Disclaimer: I own nothing and I never played the game. Still, these guys happen to occupy my mind. Not my fault Summary:  "Birthdays as a kid were great." Noctis' birthdays through the years and how he had always wished for just one thing. And the year that he got it, he almost ruined it. Promptis Notes&Comments: Written (also) for @noctisweek 2017. One afternoon. ^^;

Birthdays as a kid were great.

Everybody in the citadel wished him a happy birthday, he would get his favorite treats starting breakfast and his father, the king, would make time for him to the point where he spent most of the day with him.

Noctis loved his father, who was always kind and smiled at him, who had the warmest hugs and the scratchiest kisses thanks to his beard that tickled Noctis' soft skin whenever their cheeks rubbed against each other. He knew these days were special, because he knew that even though his father tried to do his best to see him as often as he could, sometimes he just couldn't. There was a kingdom to be ruled, the city of Insomnia to be protected and Noctis was just one person. But he missed nothing.

His fifth birthday was special. He had friends now, a tall boy called Ignis, who looked much older than the three years between them. He was bossy, but, well, Noctis guessed that came with his age and role as his advisor. Whatever that was supposed to mean. He had been three years old then and all that he cared about was playing outside in the citadel's garden with the toys he had collected over the years.

This year however, just after lunch, his father came to him and hugged him wordlessly.

"Why are you sad?" Noctis asked, trying to squirm away from that scratchy beard.

"Noct, my boy, you know that I love you more than anything on Eos?" Regis said, his voice shaking slightly.

"I know dad, you tell me every day!" Noctis replied, giggling, because that stupid beard was tickling him just too much.

"Good," Regis sighed, setting him down on his lap. "You know that I am the one making sure that no daemons or other dangerous things come into Insomnia thanks to the power of the Crystal at the heart of this Citadel, right? One day, that will be your duty, as the crown prince..."

"I know, but that's still a long time to go, right?" Noctis grinned. "You're going to be king for a long time still."

"That's right," Regis smiled, charmed by his son's youthful optimism. He ran a hand through his hair, looking like he would promise him the impossible so that he would never know a day of sadness.

Noctis smiled back at him and hugged him tight.

"Noct, what do you say about a day away from all of this? Dad will teach you how to fish," the king grinned boyishly and picked him up. A wide grin spread over Noctis' face. Everything with his father was fun and he was sure that even though Ignis seemed to be appalled by the idea, fishing sounded like fun.

Three years later, Noctis had been on his way back from a very fun trip when the convoy he was in was attacked by a vicious daemon. It had a snake tail and the body of a woman with six arms that wielded six swords that cut easily through everything. As he ended up on the ground, gravely wounded by cuts on his back, blood everywhere, all that he could think of was how he was glad that Ignis hadn't been there with him because he had been bedridden by something ridiculous like a cold.

The last thing he saw before he lost consciousness was his father wielding his swords, fighting the monster.

The next time he woke up, his father was leaning over him with a worried expression. He didn't know how long he had slept, but something told him that it had been quite some time. But he was still exhausted. So he just fell asleep again a short while later.

He celebrated his next birthday with Luna in Tenebrae. Luna was fun, but he learned about the history of the Oracle - her mother - and the magic of the king. She taught him about the Starscrouge, the disease which he had caught as the daemon's blood touched his wounds. Luna's mother had done her best to heal him of that, but some of it seemed to have gotten him bad and that was why he was sleepy so often now. However, Luna was also three years older than him and a lot more dutiful than Noct thought he could ever be. Her brother Ravus was even worse and Noctis found himself missing Ignis every now and then.

However, they had these yummy pastries every day, and Noctis was happy.

That was until Niflheim attacked and annexed Tenebrae, killing Luna's mother in the process. His own dutiful part admired her for staying behind to be there for her people, but he couldn't help ask his father if she would be okay again and again on the ride home to Insomnia. He remembered how his father's face showed his frustration and anger, but also worry as he reassured Noctis again and again that she would be okay.

Somehow birthdays were less fun after that. Ignis did his best to recreate everything that he liked to eat, but kept bugging him with vegetables and greens that Noctis had no interest in. He found a friend in Gladio's little sister Iris, went to a public school in hopes that he could make a friend there. However, his classmates were more interested in his status rather than his person. There had been this heavy boy who had approached him one day with a camera in his hand, but alas, it didn't seem like they were in the same class.

His father was still celebrating his birthdays with him, but the world seemed a lot duller than it had been before the attack of that daemon.

Noctis directed his teenage tantrums at both Ignis and Gladio, both young men trying to shape them in the way they had been shaped. It was frustrating, because they were such know-it-alls and even if Gladio was open and honest with him after a good sparring round, he was still older and it frustrated Noctis that he didn't take his problems serious enough.

The only thing he had been looking for on his fourteenth birthday was to go fishing with his dad and he was more than a little delighted as they sat on their respective foldable chairs, fishing lines somewhere in the lake, listening to the sounds insects and animals made all around them. The crownsguard was there to keep them safe from any and all daemon attacks, Gladio and his father making sure that the king and his son were undisturbed and Noctis swore it was the most at peace he had felt in many years.

He told his father about school, how he had no problem at all with the topics, admitted that he was just lazy to do even better. But he was on top of his class anyway, no need to outdo himself and frustrate the others even more.

"You're very kind," Regis had laughed, making Noctis blush and almost miss the trout that had caught his lure. After he had pulled in the fish and put it into the container so that they could eat it later on, he found himself admitting that he missed only one thing in his life. Despite all the kids in his class, he had no one of his age with similar interests, no one he could call his friend.

His father smiled wistfully, turning to look out at the lake.

"Your mother was my best friend before she became my wife," Regis said, his voice growing heavy. "Losing her... broke my heart... But in return I got you and she lives on in you. You make living without her easier."

Noctis stared at his father. For all the time he had known his father, the king had never talked about his feelings for Noctis' mother and the prince had always thought that it hurt him just too much. He had learned that his mother was a beautiful woman, gentle and kind and that he had inherited most of her traits. Only his temper had been courtesy of his father, but alas, that was nothing that he couldn't keep in check.

"Dad..."

"I know I don't talk much about her... but there hasn't been a day when I haven't thought about her, when I haven't missed her. I'm sorry that you weren't allowed to meet her," Regis said, his face wearing the same expression he had worn 9 years ago, on Noctis' fifth birthday.

"It's okay... I... I don't really... I miss her, but it's... It's okay? That sounds cold, but..."

"You've never known your mother. Makes it hard to miss her as much as I miss her," Regis smiled, his features smoothing over. "Ah, I can't wait to see you fall in love. It's the most wonderful, the most painful feeling."

"Oh god, dad , please. I'm not interested in these kinds of things!"

"Are you sure? Ignis tells me some of your comics are pretty saucy," Regis teased, just to burst out laughing at Noctis' deep red face.

"That's... that's just... I-I mean... I'm supposed to look at these things, am I not?" Noctis tried to plead his case.

"I'm not judging you," Regis said. "You're young, you're a boy, you're probably bursting with hormones, so I guess I can be glad that you haven't tried to make a move on anyone yet. I would be very disappointed to learn about these things from the press."

"I... Dad, there isn't anyone I'm interested in. Even if, they wouldn't be interested in me because everybody just seems to want to know about the prince and not, well, me ."

"Mhm, that is indeed a problem... But trust me, son, eventually you will find the one who you will be head over heels for."

Noctis sighed and steered the conversation away from that sensitive topic to much safer things like math tests and history lessons. The young prince even humored his father by expressing an interest in the current politics and he learned that Lucis was in ongoing negotiations with Nifelheim and that they worked how not to let them escalate into a new war, even if Nifelheim seemed to be hiding many things from them.

It was only much later, when they were back at home that Noctis realized that his father hadn't been talking about a girl that Noctis might fall in love with. Since he hadn't really been leaning to either gender in his phantasies yet, he felt relieved that this wouldn't be a war that he had to fight. By then, he was aware that his father had been a very lucky man to be able to marry the woman that he loved and that Noctis might not be so lucky in the not so far future, but at least his father sounded supportive should he ever fall in love with whoever he fell in love.

Sleeping that night was easy.

Noctis' sixteenth birthday wasn't what he had expected the year before.

His fifteenth birthday had been the first he spent in his own apartment, a spacious place near the school he went to with a nice view on the citadel. But Noctis needed that distance to his upcoming duties and while moving during the summer break was a pain in the ass with the hot weather, he was happy where he was now. He had promised to spend most of the next months in the Citadel still, but as soon as high school started for him, he vowed to stay here and live his life before he had to live his life for the throne alone. Noctis wanted to go out, he wanted to find a friend, he wanted to find love, he wanted to live his life.

He had never said any of these things to his father. But Regis had encouraged him to live his life away from the palace, told him to live his life to the fullest in his youth. However, neither of them had expected these things to happen so quickly.

In April, on his first day of high school, he was approached by a lanky boy with a grin so wide and friendly that he was blinded for a second. Still, something had been familiar and it had taken Noctis a few seconds to realize that this was the heavy kid from back then. He learned that his name was Prompto, that he loved photography and animals, cute ones especially.

They just clicked off immediately and after a week, Noctis had invited Prompto over for the first time. After that it seemed that Prompto had just moved in with Noctis, going home sometimes, but most of the time he spent his time with his new friend, two lonely boys finding solace in each other.

Prompto's parents were hardly ever home, Noctis' apartment was closer to school anyway and if Ignis wasn't coming over, they spent most of their summer break playing video games, going out sometimes to have some fast food and for Prompto to take some photos.

Therefore, for his sixteenth birthday, he had his first proper birthday party. He had invited Ignis, Gladio and Iris along with Prompto, who had spent half the day decorating his apartment with balloons and garlands. Ignis had cooked, once more closer to the Tenebraen pastries that Noctis liked so much with his own creations. He got presents, so many of them! A letter from Luna, too, with a pair of pressed flowers, the blue ones that only grew in Tenebrae. Ignis gave him a notebook made of the finest leather, Gladio had wrapped one of his favorite romance novels and had handed it over with the words 'For your sweet sixteen... may it help you get laid, nerd.' Of course he had made sure that Iris hadn't heard that, the girl engrossed in the last final touches to her own present, a stuffed bunny with a red bow. Noctis had smiled, but he couldn't help but stare at Prompto eagerly. Over the months his friend had quickly become his best friend because for some reason, Prompto knew exactly what he liked at all times. So he was anxious to know what it was that he had always wanted for his birthday.

He wasn't even surprised when it turned out to be a large picture frame. It was cheap, but the photos inside were invaluable. They showed Noctis and his friends, smiling and happy and Noctis stared at himself, amazed that he was even capable of these expression.

Naturally, he thanked Prompto exuberantly, making this awkward for both of them until they laughed it off sheepishly.

They played games, they ate, they drank and had a lot of fun and Noctis realized that he was the happiest he had ever been. At night, after the party, they dropped Prompto off on their way to the Citadel, because Noctis had promised his father that they would go fishing together the following day.

As they sat there together, his father looking so much older than the two years that had passed since the last time they had done this, Noctis couldn't help but feel guilt tugging on his heart, because he couldn't stop thinking about how much Prompto would love this, taking pictures of this and that.

"You look happier, my son," Regis noted with a fond smile.

"Ah- I guess I am," Noctis replied, smiling wistfully down his fishing rod.

"How was your party yesterday? Did you have fun?"

"Mhm... it was great. I didn't... It was nice having a party with friends. It would have been nice if Luna had been there, too, but she sent a present with Umbra," Noctis said, feeling his cheeks heat up when he remembered how much Prompto had gushed over the intimidating looking dog. Once he learned that he and Pryna were siblings, he looked at Noctis with the most adorable surprised look and he found his heart missing a beat or two at that look.

"My son... I can see you're not quite here with your thoughts," Regis teased gently, glancing over with a knowing smile that Noctis hated as much as it made his face turn red.

"Y-yes... I... I've told you probably about him, but this... this guy at my school - Prompto - I've only known him for a few months, but he's already become my best friend and I... I don't know... didn't know what I've been missing," Noctis explained and bit his lip, glaring at the water that was suspiciously still, as if no fish wanted to disturb the conversation between father and son.

"Ah, I remember how that was. I'm glad you've found a friend, my son," Regis smiled and Noctis still hated how his smile hinted on how there were so many things that he thought but wouldn't say to his son so that he wouldn't upset him. "You've been wishing for one for the longest time."

"I... yeah," Noctis sighed, defeated. "It's... we like the same things and we finish each other's sentences sometimes and he says the dorkiest things like 'we finish each other's sandwiches' and he makes me laugh and just... He's a good guy. I want to make him happy. I want to see him smile every day," he admitted, blushing a little more.

"My boy..." Regis said, his voice thick with an emotion that Noctis couldn't quite decipher, but he thought he heard pity in it. "If you feel that way about him... don't hold back to tell him. One day it might be too late."

"...Are you talking about mom?" Noctis asked, feeling as if that was what his father was hinting at.

Regis nodded. "I've been thinking about her more often lately. Maybe it's the age," he shrugged, looking up at the blue sky with that look of melancholy that he seemed to wear more often lately. "In my experience... it's better to have loved once and lose it than to have never loved at all."

He turned to look at his son, grey eyes holding the gaze of much similar eyes. "Don't hesitate to voice your feelings, they might just be returned."

Noctis nodded, but he wondered if his father had really just encouraged him to confess to his best friend. He, they were just that, friends. There wasn't anything more! Or at least that's what Noctis thought there was, not wanting to ruin the first friendship he had ever built himself by confessing feelings like a lovesick puppy.

But maybe his father was right. If 'lovesick puppy' was a description for anyone, it was for Prompto. The touches, the looks and everything they shared did feel like a lot more than just being friends. Maybe there was more to them that they both saw.

"I'll give it a try when I feel like it," Noctis sighed, just to be saved by a rather large fish biting.

They repeated the birthday party almost two months later for Prompto's sixteenth birthday. The boy cried when he opened Noctis' present, a high-class DSLR camera, the one he had been saving money for for months now. He accused Noctis of being unfair and almost demanded that he'd give it back, but Noctis explained that he didn't care about how much the camera had cost. It was what Prompto had wanted and Noctis wanted Prompto to be happy, so the monetary worth of this camera was neglectable. Noctis stopped himself before he could say something he could regret in the company of Ignis and Gladio, but if Prompto had asked him for it, he would have given him the stars in the sky.

Maybe he was right. Maybe he should just face the fact that he felt more for his best friend than just friendship. Maybe he should just do as his father had suggested and confess.

Ignis gave Prompto a thick and heavy book about the mannerisms at the court of Lucii, and Gladio told Prompto that he would personally train him and introduce him to Cor Leonis, so that he would get some muscle on that scrawny body of his. He'd need it if he wanted to stay in the company of the crown prince longer.

Aside from all the very practical presence, Noctis could see that it mattered more to Prompto that his advisors and companions had accepted him in their inner circle and he smiled as he saw the blond wipe at his eyes more furiously.

On a whim, he asked him to stay the night. It was a Saturday after all. Ignis made them promise to use the guest bed of the couch, but as they sat and watched one of Prompto's favorite movies late at night, almost leaning against each other, they agreed wordlessly, that they would just share the bed like usual.

"Hey, Prom," Noctis said as the movie neared its climax. The heroine and her sidekick watched the lights from the castle fly and light up the sky and even Noctis, who had seen the movie many times but still couldn't feel as enthusiastic about it as Prompto, was moved by the image painted on the large screen of his TV.

"Hm?" the blond hummed, eyes glued to the screen as he hugged one of the couch cushions to his chest.

"I... I've been thinking," Noctis started, his throat suddenly dry and that didn't change, no matter how often he swallowed.

"That's a new one," Prompto said automatically, his voice a teasing tone, until he realized that Noctis wasn't in the mood for one of the jokes. "...What is it?" he asked, looking suddenly very worried and Noctis lost all will to change the status of their relationship. Things were good the way they were, he couldn't handle it if they changed for the worse.

"Hm, it's been a good day today... What do you think about going out for a photo tour tomorrow? I'll ask Ignis to drive us to that place I've told you about," he said then instead of confessing how much he wanted them to be more than friends, how he sometimes dreamed about kissing his best friend.

"Really?" Prompto's face lit up and somehow there was suddenly a herd of butterflies in Noctis' stomach. He swallowed dryly again. "Wait, you just want to go fishing!"

"What... no! I told you, it's a beautiful place and it's the perfect opportunity for you to try out your new camera!"

"And you can go fishing," Prompto smirked, making Noctis roll his eyes.

"Yeah. But that's not the point!"

"It's cool, man. I'm happy anyway. Besides you're right. I need to try out all the settings of this lady to find out how they work best. I'm game!"

"Great. Let me just... send a text to Ignis..."

"Mhm..."

Needless to say that Ignis wasn't too enthused to find them tangled in each other in Noctis' bed the following morning. Still, he said nothing as he drove them to the lake where Noctis and his father usually went to fish. Gladio teased them every now and then, but it felt more like he did it because he had to and to distract from the fact that he was still wearing the exact same clothes as the night before. If it hadn't been something very casual, Noctis might now have noticed, but he had never before seen that Chocobo shirt on Gladio. Still, he said nothing because to him it was more important to see Prompto's face light up at every new things.

Really, the beauty of the scenery wasn't completely lost on Noctis, otherwise he wouldn't have wanted to show it to Prompto, but the photographer pointed out details left and right that had Noctis look at the scene with new eyes. Prompto managed to paint a whole different picture than the one Noctis had seen so many times.

The herd of butterflies were back in his stomach and he didn't know how long he could stay friends with Prompto like this.

~*~

August 29th the following year ended up being the deadline. Prompto had fuzzed too long about wanting to making Noctis' seventeenth birthday even more awesome than his sixteenth and as he was hanging even more balloons and streamers and garlands everywhere, Noctis decided that he couldn't wait for another day. It was getting late anyway and once Prompto was done, he told him to sit down and watch that favorite movie of his again.

It was like a deja-vu, Noctis sitting on his couch, watching the heroine and her sidekick watch the lights rising from the castle with Prompto hugging the pillow to him, just like almost a year ago.

"Prom," he said, feeling much surer this time. This could have to do with the fact that the blond was pressed to his side, Noctis arm heavy on his shoulders. "Prom, I need to tell you something."

"Hm? What is it? Have you been thinking again?" Prompto teased and Noctis rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, you dork, I've been thinking about you. Many, many times. I've been dreaming about you. Like, you've been on my mind every moment, every day, every night. Not just when I'm awake, but also when I'm asleep."

"Dude, that sounds like you're, what, in love with me?" Prompto said as he sat up straight to look into Noctis' eyes.

"...What if I were?" Noctis asked, holding that gaze, no matter how much he just wanted to run away.

"...I don't know," Prompto replied after a moment, averting his gaze, but there was a blush on his cheek. "I... I don't know. I-I mean, how can I know anything if you don't know yourself?"

"Well, it's the first time I've ever felt something like this, how am I supposed to know what this is?"

"...Good point. I guess there's just one way to find out," Prompto replied, looking back up.

Yep, his cheeks were red.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, uh, kiss? The prince's kiss, you know?" Prompto joked and they both cringed at how bad it was.

"I guess it's the only way to know for sure, if that's okay with you?" Noctis asked, suddenly feeling that army of butterflies in his stomach again. His arm shook as he raised it to put his suddenly numb and cold fingers on Prompto's cheek, tilting his head so that he had a better aim. "Promise me we'll still be friends if this doesn't turn out to be more... I don't want to lose you."

"Me neither," Prompto whispered, leaning forward just enough to give Noctis the sign to proceed.

"Good," Noctis whispered as he closed the last bit of distance between the two of them.

Their first kiss was clumsy, a simple thing of lips on lips that reminded Noctis of the kisses between his father and him. However, it was entirely different the moment he heard Prompto gasp.

He pulled away then, not trusting himself with anything then.

"I fear it's true," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "I might just be in love with you. At least that's what it feels like..."

"Noct..." Prompto sighed, his eyes still closed, his lips slightly parted and wet.

"I'm s-," Noctis murmured because he just needed to kiss him again. And it didn't seem like Prompto returned his feelings.

"Me too."

"Huh?" Noctis blinked staring down into Prompto's violet blue eyes, crinkled up with a sheepish grin.

"Guess I'm in love with you, too. Stupid prince."

"Prom..."

"Happy birthday... I hope you can accept me as your present this year," Prompto grinned and Noctis glanced over his shoulder to see that the clock in the kitchen had just turned midnight.

"You know, if you say things like that, I'm gonna do more than just kiss you," Noctis said, his pupils widening as the implications of that sentence made his blood rush south.

"Oh, yeah? Tell me, I'm open to quite a few things," Prompto replied, having the audacity to smirk at him.

"Don't tempt me... didn't you want to watch this?" Noctis asked, nodding over his shoulder towards the TV.

"I know it by heart... Doesn't matter skipping the end once or twice," Prompto shrugged and gave Noctis his best puppy eyes and Astrals, Noctis was weak to those.

"Fine. Then I'll claim my present now," he said, a little dumbfounded, but so happy that he could burst before he kissed Prompto again. It was still clumsy and far from perfect, but they were getting there. The next day he told Luna about it and she congratulated him, wishing them all the luck.

On his eighteenth birthday, he took Prompto with him to the Citadel, introducing him to his father. They went fishing and Prompto took photos of the old king and his son that they framed and hung on his wall.

On his nineteenth birthday, Noctis took Prompto on a trip for just the two of them. They didn't see much of the ocean then. Instead they made their own vows and promised to stay together for the rest of their lives.

On his twentieth birthday, Noctis became king and set off to marry Luna to seal the treaty between Lucis and Nifelheim, unaware of the implications. But Prompto was by his side and he knew that Luna knew where his heart belonged already, so he wasn't scared to marry someone he didn't love, because he knew the one that he did love would be by his side forever.

Birthdays with Prompto were the best.

[youremyonlyhope]

Dark Winds, Dark Words

I wonder if I actually finish this show by the time the last episode airs... I have exactly 4 weeks.

I want to be able to watch the finale live, and each season has 10 episodes, season 8 will have 6 so I’ll have to watch 5 of them, and there are 9 more episodes left in season 3. So I have 55 episodes to watch. 

And all of that math was wrong because Season 7 had 7 episodes. It’s actually 52 episodes. And 27 days to do it. So I need to watch at least 2 episodes each day. Well... we’ll see.

My goal tonight is to watch at least 2 episodes. I can probably do 3.

I was spoiled for something that happened in the episode that aired last night but like I can’t even be mad because 1) it’s my own fault that I was so nosy and read the BuzzFeed article about it (though the thumbnail was a spoiler so I was like I’ve already been spoiled this much so I might as well read about it) and 2) It’s something I wanted to happen so I really can’t be mad, I can just look forward to it.

The M rating doesn’t mention nudity... for the first time like ever... ok... Awww... the recap is reminding me that I’m gonna miss Creepy Dude’s original creepy face... and that I’m still shook over that. This opening sequence feels so much faster than usual. Oh no more creepy Stark children dreams. FERB. IT’S FERB. THOMAS WHATEVER. HIM. FERB. I’m eating my dinner and I literally froze with a forkful of food halfway in my mouth when I saw him. What year is this, 2012? 2013? He still looks 5. I got a bad case of babyface too. I get it. Oh wow, I’m the same age he was during this. Oh no I forgot that Robb doesn’t know about the boys yet. Oh my poor baby. Jaime, stop insulting Brienne. She is my love, I will not stand for it. And here I was thinking that Cersei was the one person Joffrey wouldn’t insult. Once again, Shae is my girl. Oh poor Sansa... she has a crush... but Loras is not gonna love her... Been waiting for Lady Olena. I can’t remember what the fandom thinks of her, but I know it’s extreme, so I’ll either love her or hate her. Lemon cakes are my favorite too Sansa! Oh my poor Sansa. These two better be honest and sincere about not getting her in trouble. Oh Lady Catelyn. I think you do love Jon, even if you didn’t insist he took the Stark name. Heyyyyyyyy... the guy with no eyes... that’s whats-his-face from Pirates of the Caribbean, right? If not, he looks like him. Also, why is no one wearing hats? They need hats. Stop being mean to my baby Sam. Awwwww they care about my baby Sam! Yeah Rast, that’s right, listen to Father Christmas. Protect my baby Sam. So Ferb’s a real person, not a vision? He doesn’t have a name yet, so I’m gonna keep calling him Ferb. It may end up like Father Christmas where I keep calling him Father Christmas even after I know his character name. “My sister carries the weapons” “I’m better with them.” Oh I like her. Wait, Bran’s full name is Brandon? That’s so normal though... Oh and Ferb’s name is Jojen. I might still call him Ferb. My baby Gendry! Yay! Add “Homophobe” to the list of reasons why Joffrey sucks. I’m honestly just waiting to see if I can love Theon again. I miss loving Theon. And this servant that’s working with Yara looks very familiar... Iwan... I’ve literally seen nothing he’s been in. Why does he look familiar?  Bran’s a warg too? Ok, literally during the scene with Ygritte I was like why in the world would Jon have met a warg? Turns out, he lived with one. THE HOUND! Been wondering what you’ve been up to. HOUND. Hound. You have more sense than to out Arya like that. COME ON. AFTER ALL YOU DID TO HELP SANSA. YOU ENDANGER HER SISTER? Look at my girl Brienne go! I hope Jaime knows that it’s his own fault they got caught. They could have gone back into the cover of the trees if he just kept going instead of trying to fight.

[blueisntok]

85 Question Game

@juvycakes tagged me ; if you don’t want to read all the post to see who I tagged, well spoiler alert: I tagged everyone

Last :

1.drink: water with orange slices….I feel basic 2.phone call: A private college I am not planning to go to (btw @edelwary Congrats!!!!) 3.text message: a group chat, it was a picture of the explanation on how to solve a math problem 4.song you listened to: “Ride” twenty one pilots 5.time you cried: this morning but shhhh that’s a secret 6.dated someone twice: I have never dated anyone #Forever alone 7.kissed someone and regretted it: again I have never kissed anyone 8.been cheated on: do I even have to say this again? 9.lost someone special: nah 10. been depressed: …..I….think I am, but I don’t want to burden my mom by asking her to take me to get help 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: i drink but I don’t get drunk, I have high alcohol tolerance and I know when to stop drinking

3 favourite colours 12. Blue☆ 13. Red (nice klance reference) 14. Purple (lmao blue+red)

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: Internet friends! Irl just acquaintance(through internet people have a bonus, irl it’s harder to become my friend) 16. fallen out of love: yeah….. 17. laughed until you cried: yup, a friend of mine is also the teacher’s son, and this one day he was talking in like a group and made a face and omg he looked just like my teacher, it was so funny for everyone atm cause then he was super confused as to why everyone was laughing and that made it x10 times better 18. found out someone was talking about you: shit? Yeah, cool things? Yeah 19. met someone who changed you: mmmm…nope 20. found out who your friends are: ….wym? 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: go back to question 7 please

General:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i don’t even have Facebook 23. do you have any pets: a pug, two Chihuahuas and a guinea pig called shiro 24. do you want to change your name: maybe….idk, I think I am fine with mine but if I ever have to run away then I have a couple in mind 25. what did you do for your last birthday: went to a restaurant with some of my friends! 26. what time did you wake up: 9am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: tumblr :3 28. name something you can’t wait for: Voltron season 3, graduating from highschool, finding out if I was accepted into the physics career on college 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like I am seeing her rn 31. what are you listening to right now:“let’s face it I’m cute” 11 acorn lane 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no…? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: stupid/useless/lame people, UGH this one girl from school comes into mind and just UGH 34. most visited website: Tumblr 35. hair colour: brown almost black in the shadows or artificial light, but it’s more like brown almost red in natural light, it’s weird blame my genes 36. long or short hair: Long and curly so hell 37. do you have a crush on someone: yeah….rn I am a bit confused cause I like this girl and now I also think (keyword: think) I like this one boy who is also know…. 38. what do you like about yourself: physically nothing, but on other things, my brain, my sass, I like my personality 39. piercings: my ears, 2 on my left ear and one on my right ear 40. blood type: O+ …what? I need to know what type of blood I have, I am a curious person, plus I needed to know it so that i can fit it in my “Zombie apocalypse survival plan #1 and #2” 41. nickname: blue, satan, fenn, shorter versions of my name 42. relationship status: single af 43. zodiac: virgo 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: Doctor who and Voltron 46. tattoos: nah 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: nope 50. sport: i used to do a lot of things(yoga, swimming, Karate, I did ballet when I was like 4) but now a days no 51. vacation: next ones are until November 52. pair of trainers: what?

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: Sweets, but I usually have balanced meals, 54. drinking: more Strawberry Juice, Tea, Sweet iced tea, Vodka, whisky (wait what?) 55. I’m about to: go back to study for my math final 56. waiting for: klance to be canon, my suffering to end, the void to take me 57. want: rest, I am so fucking tired rn, also I want some white tea 58. get married: maybe? I mean first I need a partner 59. career:physicist(astro or quantum physicist)

WHICH IS BETTER: 60. hugs or kisses: hugs but just with people I am comfortable with (AKA:A selected few) and I am a lowkey cuddler, also I have no experience with kisses so idk 61. lips or eyes: eyes, there is something about them idk it’s beautiful 62. shorter or taller: *insert El Dorado gif of both is good* 63. older or younger: older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: …can I say bothh again? 65. hookup or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: ummm neither? I mean I am fun but I think before I act, but I am also sure on my decisions

HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: NO FOR FUCKS SAKE 68. drank hard liquor: yup, I like it 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: yup, they were in my head…. 70. turned someone down: my parents :( sorry mom and dad! 71. sex on the first date: I am not even gonna answer 73. had your heart broken: yeah….I don’t want to talk about it 74. been arrested: nope 75. cried when someone died: no one close to me has died and with people I just know I haven’t, cause I barely knew them, and that won’t bring them back 76. fallen for a friend: yup, I refuse to say more than that*groans* fml

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: yeah, I know my abilities and I trust my knowledge 78. miracles: ….no? 79. love at first sight: yup 80. santa claus: 1) I used to believe in “el niño Jesús ” not Santa 2) not anymore 81. kiss on the first date: if it was a good date, but how will I know, I have never dated anyone 82. angels: …I am an atheist….

OTHER: 84. eye colour: brown almost black 85. favourite movie:……………………………………………….idk now I tag everyone, just like I said I would

[gguktastic]

Some Things Shouldn't Be Kept Secret.

A/N - I am exhausted. This has taken three days. My finals are coming up in a month. I have had to complete the question and answers to two chapters in our 2nd Language Studies, which is Hindi. I had to write two informal letters and a 7-page-long essay on what I did when I visited my native village, how I spent NYE, and the essay was to be written about a house on fire. Then Maths. You'd better be happy with this one, guys. This is VERY LONG, so sorry if you don't like such long imagines. Also what even is the title I am horrible at that stuff. Also, I had the inspiration for the 'diary' part of the fic (WOOP WOOP SPOILER) from somewhere else, whether it was a published book or an imagine, it just crossed my mind and I wrote it down. GENRE - Fluff. WARNINGS - None. // It had been a particularly great day for me yesterday. I had begun the day with a much-needed mug of coffee, and finally having a bagel after several weeks, managing not to burn it, for once. After an insanely amazing and relaxing shower, I had flopped onto my bed, logged onto tumblr, and stayed there for the next 3 hours in the fluffiest onesie I owned. #BestMorningEver. Then, when I finally decided to head out of the house to go pick up some groceries, I ran into an old friend. Not any old friend, mind you, my best friend from when I lived in Lancashire. Also, it doesn't hurt to mention, that the 'old friend' I bumped into was world-famous-YouTuber, Phil Lester I had been looking for microwaveable popcorn with the extra butter at Tesco, and then, when I finally found it, it was too high for me to reach. Tesco with it's bloody high shelves. I was looking around for help, when a shopping trolley rammed me from behind. I almost fell onto the dirty linoleum floor of the super market when I tried to steady myself on my cart, which was right in front of me. Of course, me being an incredible clumsy person, tripped thrice over my own legs while trying to do so, and pushed my cart away from me, which collided into a wall, the groceries spilling out. I had, however, steadied myself - successfully and without dropping anything - on a rack beside me, thankfully on my feet instead of being flat on my stomach. (A/N - That has actually happened to me, guys. It has been inspired by real, true life events). Now you're wondering- [Y/N], so you had the best morning ever with coffee, un-burnt bagels, and then three hours of scrolling through tumblr in your fluffiest onesie, but when you said 'particularly great day' - well, doesn't that mean the whole day went by smoothly and don't you think almost falling over onto your stomach in Tesco and ramming your shopping cart against a wall in the space of 7 seconds puts a sour spot on your day? Well, it was all okay because the person that rammed into me from behind was my long-lost best friend, who recognised me as soon as I turned around to look at him and graciously accept any apology he offered, and smothered me in the warmest hug ever. I tensed up and pulled myself away from them. It took me a few seconds of scrutinising their hopeful face to realise who the man was. When I did realise, my mouth dropped open. "Oh my god, are you Phil? Phil Lester?" I said, overwhelmed, as he just nodded his head enthusiastically. "Yes, yes, I am! And would you be [Y/N] from Rawtenstall, Lancashire?" He asked, hope shining in his eyes. I too nodded enthusiastically and, after a second of grinning at each other, he grasped my hands and looked me in the eyes. "Don't worry, [Y/N], I don't hold you responsible for the dead rabbit on my parents' bed incident." I burst out laughing as I recalled Phil's sad face as his mum yelled at him for putting a dead rabbit on her bed, something which had been my idea. He pulled me into a hug again and, this time, I hugged back. "It's been so long, [Y/N]," Phil said as we hugged. "No kidding, Mister Famous," I joked. He pulled away and began to say something when he looked over my shoulder to see my groceries fallen out of my trolley. He frowned and ran to it, and, in a minute, got my trolley back to me, the cracked eggs now paid for and replaced. I thanked him. "No problem, [Y/N]! It's so nice meeting you after all of these years! How about I give you my phone number and address so we can meet up at my place sometime?" He suggested. "Why not, Philly! Here you go," I said, unlocking my phone and giving it to him, allowing him to put in save his contact as, of course, Phil Striker 🦁🐗. He put in his address in notes, and handed my phone back to me. "Well, I think I should leave now-" I cut Phil off. "But could you just get me the extra butter popcorn from up there before you leave, Phil?" I asked, and he happily obliged, using his height to my advantage. I grabbed my popcorn from him as I gave him a small wave, him walking away, waving back at me. Coming back home, I lounged around, eating some Nutella from straight out of the jar, when I decided to text Phil about our plans. [Y/N]- Hi, Phil! It's [Y/N] here. So, about those palms for meeting up- don't wanna seem too eager, but are you free tomorrow? I could come over to your place if you like! Within minutes, Phil replied, Phil Striker 🦁🐗 - Hey [Y/N]! Btw what palms are you talking about? I blushed and face palmed when I saw the typo. (A/N - That was an actual typo I made while writing this. I decided to leave it in). [Y/N] - Oh Lord Jesus I hate myself. I meant plans, not palms. 😓 Phil Striker 🦁🐗 - hey that's k I was just joking around with ya! Oh and I'm completely free tomorrow, except that I need to film a video, so would you do it with me? I want to do the 'long-lost BFF challenge tag' with you. Let's see how much you and I remember 😜 and then we can go out for dinner, though do you mind if Dan (room mate fellow YouTuber and current BFFL - soz) tags along? I laughed at his message. He wanted to do a video with me? I decided to give the man-child what he wanted. [Y/N] - Whew thanks! Oh and sure no prob, I'll be glad to (tho you'll have to help me with my camera shyness k) and I am offended Phil Lester you replaced me how could you?! Jk don't worry ofc he can tag along no prob. Phil replied 10 minutes later. Phil Striker 🦁🐗 - Sorry [Y/N], Dan yelled at me for eating his cereal without his permission ): and thank you! Ps Whew for a second I was worried you were actually offended. I grinned at my screen. [Y/N] - You need to learn how to be a good room mate Phil Michael Lester you cereal-thief. And no prob, I'm sure Dan will be lovely as well (: haha don't worry I won't ever be offended by that we had lost contact for so many years after all! See you then, gtg, the monster in my stomach wants some food. Your place tomorrow, then? I'll be there by 5:00? If you're not okay with that time or want to shift to another day that's fine (: I put my phone aside to get a cookie, but was interrupted by the harsh 'ping!' Of my phone. I sat back down on the couch. Phil Striker 🦁🐗 - No no no that time and place are k! And I know I have a problem I need to be a better room mate and deserve to live in shame (A/N - Phil missed the 'to leave' after the 'to live' high five if you got my reference before reading this A/N. Back to the story now). I smiled. [Y/N] - Sure, Phil, see you tommorow! Also, you were very correct about having to live in great shame. Jk. You're AMAZING, PHIL (Bd-Dm-tss). Bye - for now! My phone 'ping!'- ed with one last text from Phil. Phil Striker 🦁🐗 - Hmm I read that pun out to Dan and he's still cringing you already have a bad impression well bye to you too and see you tomorrow, I have to go to Tesco (again) to get some more cereal for Dan because I forgot to earlier today ): the things this boy makes me do. I laughed and just responded with a 'Haha, bye!', as I tossed my phone onto my couch, it landing safely, but not before doing three triple loops in the air and almost giving me a heart attack. I softly laughed at yesterday's memories, as I waited for the lift to reach the 11th floor of the building. 9... 10... I nervously bounced on the balls of my feet, careful not to be too excited, scared that the lift would shudder and fall down. 11. I heaved a sigh of relief - the lift was incredibly slow, and I was not doing too well in such a cramped space. It felt like the nervous energy radiating from me bounced off of the four walls, ricocheting back into me. Did that make sense? I don't even know. The lift doors opened, and I was out the second they did - closed, cramped, spaces are not my friends. At least I had stopped having panic attacks now. Phil, however, had helped me out every time I had a panic attack on a lift, when we were still in contact. I had to use a lift almost everyday while I was an intern at the Rawtenstall Times after a course in Journalism at university. I remember having his contact open on my phone, and calling him as soon as I got into whichever lift was empty and functional. He would stay on the line with me for whatever length of time I needed him to be. Thankfully for me - and our phone bills - never in my life have I had to suffer through several minutes and even hours of pure terror in case of the lift braking down. After seven years, I finally had the option to call him if I had a panic attack, and I was finally getting to sit down and talk to him about the most random of things like we used to. I knocked on the white door. Just two layers of paint and a moderately thick wall separating me from my once-best-friend. I anxiously drummed my fingers on my thigh, my eyes flitting from one spot on the monotone grey carpet to another. Finally, after a painstakingly long minute, I was blessed with the visual and sound of the doorknob turning. As the door opened, I grinned wide and prepared to greet my friend who opened the door - except that instead of the raven black hair and blue-green-yellow eyes, what I saw were twinkling brown eyes, ones you could easily get lost into, and a slightly-wavy chocolate brown fringe. "Not to sound rude, but-may I know who you are?" The man asked. My grin, which had faltered just for a second, returned as a much smaller version of itself. "Hi, I'm [Y/N]. I'm here to meet Phil," I said, extending my hand to the incredibly tall man, not unlike Phil. He opened the door wider, and took my hand, shaking it. "Oh, nice meeting you, [Y/N]. Phil told me you'd be coming by today. My name is Dan, by the way, I'm Phil's room mate," he said, and I smiled at him. I opened my mouth to say that I had heard about him, when realisation dawned in his eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry, come on in!" He said, and I thanked him before entering. Dan led me to the lounge, where we were making small talk, when Phil walked in, wearing black skinny jeans and a red-and-black button up. His eyes brightened up. "Oh, hello, [Y/N]! Dan, this is the friend I was telling you about. I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, [Y/N], I was actually in the shower," he said, sounding truly apologetic. I laughed. "Don't worry, Phil, I don't mind. Also, I got that you were in the shower as soon as I walked in, hearing your soulful and romantic rendition of 'My Heart Will Go On'," I said, making Dan guffaw. Phil's cheeks were painted with an angry red blush as he mumbled something about Dan and I not recognising his artistic abilities. "Well, [Y/N], even after you have mercilessly shamed me for honing my artistic abilities, I'm still willing to do that video with you, for I am the kind prince of England," he said, taking a 'regal' pose. I laughed again, getting up and off the couch, as Dan just rolled his eyes and leant back in what he had told me was his 'Sofa Crease'. "Have fun, you guys," Dan said, as we disappeared into Phil's room. // "I completely and utterly destroyed you at the challenge tag, [Y/N]," said Phil proudly as we got out of the room, after filming the video for his channel. I shrugged. "Well, at least I remembered all of the embarrassing stories, so that's fine," I said. "But you could've stalked me on social media and found out all of those facts about me, and yet, I WON," Phil said, smug smirk placed upon his face. Dan interrupted our small little argument. "That aside- Phil, you never told me how you 'bumped into' [Y/N] yesterday," he said, eyebrows raised as his eyes remained focused on the screen of his laptop. "I met her at Tesco, I actually accidentally rammed into her with my shopping cart from behind-" Dan snorted. "Wow, Phil, you meet a friend after seven years and how? Because you rammed your shopping cart into them. Good going, mate," He said, not once looking up at us as he slowly munched on Doritos from a bag and scrolled through, from what I could see, tumblr. I sat down beside him before putting my hand into the bag and starting to eat the Doritos. Either Dan didn't notice, or he just didn't mind. "You know how clumsy I can be! Anyways, when I did, [Y/N] almost fell down but, using my super strength, I caught the damsel in distress in my muscular arms. She -" I cut Phil off. "-is so horrified by the lies you are telling your best friend that she has decided to ask you to tell the truth," I said, glaring at Phil. He sighed. "Okay, I'll tell you the truth- or is it?" He said, wiggling his eyebrows. Dan and I looked at him, annoyed. "Okay, fine. So what happened was that [Y/N] tried to steady herself by grasping onto the cart, but tripped thrice over her own feet and pushed the cart away, which then rammed into the wall and most of her groceries spilt out while [Y/N] managed to actually and successfully steady herself using the ledge of one of the shelves nearby." Dan looked throughly amused. "And then, when I turned around to look at the person who had rammed into me and then graciously accept any apology they offered, Phil hugged me," I said, and Dan's head snapped up, eyes wide. "You did WHAT?!" He said, looking at Phil, who looked just as confused as I was. "Dan, I just hugged my friend-" Dan cut him off. "You idiot! What if it had been some other random person who you didn't know instead of [Y/N]? You could've been reported to the authorities!" He said, almost yelling at Phil. I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Phil, what if I was a middle aged mum whose husband was just down the aisle, gazing lovingly at his beautiful wife?" I said. "Okay, you could've been anyone, but I recognised you from the tattoo on your wrist-It's a heart-rate thingy with the twenty one pilots logo at the end and, below it, in neat cursive, 'Stay Alive' is written. Which middle aged mum has a tattoo like that?" He said. "Okay, so you have a valid point," I said. "Now, who wants some brownies?" // I groaned as I turned around in bed, trying to shut the alarm off. It was a Sunday,and I didn't have to go to work. Yesterday had been the 10th time in a row that I had dropped by Dan and Phil's place. Dan, Phil, and I had plans to hang out this whole week as well, and I was supposed to be over at the 'Phlat' (or the 'Phalace Of Dreams', as Dan sometimes referred to it as) in an hour to help Dan film a video. I, of course, would be behind the camera, not in view of it. I lazily got up from bed, walking into the bathroom. I let the water heat as I got out of my clothes, stepping into the now pleasantly hot water. I just stood in the cubicle, letting the water run down my body, relaxing my muscles and taking away all of the exhaustion from the day before with it as it fell down the drain. 15 minutes later, I was done, as I stepped out of the shower wrapped in a fluffy towel. Seeing as I was already comfortable being in my pyjamas around Dan and Phil, I decided to wear an old MCR merch tee with my trademark light-wash skinny jeans and worn-out sneakers. Today, I felt extravagant, so I took a cab from my place to the Phlat, seeing as it was a 15 minute walk and I was not in the mood. As I sat in the cab, I put my hand in my fringed satchel to get some money out, only to be met with the sinking feeling of not having my trusty notebook there. It was a small A5 sized leather bound notepad, into which I jotted down my reminders, lists and also about the highlights of my day. It was the first thing I'd rescue if my house was on fire, that's how important it was. And it definitely wasn't at my place. It must be at Dan and Phil's place. I let out a sigh of relief at the fact that if it wasn't at my place or in my bag, it would be at Dan and Phil's, and they knew better than to peek in it. That's because Phil had once tried and then got a pillow thrown at him at full force. They wouldn't dare. They better wouldn't. // As soon as I let myself into the house after Dan opened the door for me, I had known something was wrong. Without so much as a 'hello' to me, he told me to follow him. Dan led us over to the lounge, and asked me to take a seat as he closed the door behind him. He took a deep breath as he took the seat beside me, looking down at his feet. "So, I found something..." He said, all flustered. Forget the diary, Dan's behaviour was #1 on 'The List Of Things [Y/N] Is Currently Concerned About.' "Continue," I said. "And, um- there were some things written about me which flattered me," he mumbled, me, however, being able to catch every word he said. "And...?" He pulled his hands out from behind his back, and my whole world came crashing down. My diary. "May I ask, Miss [Y/L/N], what this object is?" He asked, any trace of being flustered gone. His nervous twitching of the left hand was now replaced by a confident and smug smile on his face that he tried, and failed, to conceal. It was my turn to blush. "I- uh- I work at a- a newspaper office," I said. "And t- that's just the diary I write in. You know ideas f- for my column." I hadn't been lying about me working at a newspaper office. I was interning at the Daily Mail, where I would soon get a job under the Teen Magazine section, where I would write articles for teens. (A/N- I know nothing about the Daily Mail. Just making things up over here). However, I did lie about writing down ideas for my column in that diary. In that moment, if the world hasn't crashed badly enough around me before, the pieces burst into flames as Dan opened to a page and started to read. "18th of February, 2017, I just came back from the Phlat and had a genuinely good time with Dan. When I looked him up, I mean- he was actually so good looking- but now that I know what he is really like, I think I might really like him. 21st of February, 2017, woah, just had the best day ever with Dan! Phil was out today, so Dan called me over to help film a video of his. Later, we had Chinese take out for dinner, and I felt my gut do a 180 whenever we made physical contact. I'm actually falling for him hard, aren't I?" Dan snapped the book shut and looked up at my face, which was painted with a violent crimson. "You just go on and on about how you love my smile, my eyes, me, for a whole week, [Y/N]. And then, I stumbled across this paragraph," he said, and I knew which paragraph he was talking about. "28th of February, 2017, I'm still at their place, but they're currently not in the room, so I thought, why not? Just wanted to write about how I utterly wanted to kiss Dan Howell then and there after he opened he door, shirtless, hair not straightened. Well, they're back now, so goodbye." Dan smiled bashfully at me. Some of the blush had started to creep back into his cheeks, and I was currently biting my bottom lip, looking down at my tattoo, very embarrassed. Again, I felt my guts do a one-eighty as Dan lifted my chin up with his thumb, making me look at him. I fiddled with the aquamarine ends of my black hair, as I looked up at Dan with my green eyes. He leaned down, our foreheads touching, and smiled at me. Those dimples are going to be the death of me. "[Y/N], like how you wanted to kiss me yesterday when I opened the door for you, I have wanted to do that ever since Phil told me about the bad pun you had texted him, before I had even seen you. I've been madly and truly in love with you, [Y/N]. It seems impossible that these feelings could develop in just 10 days, but they did, didn't they?" Saying so, he put his lips upon mine. The first thing that crossed my mind was that this was the first kiss that had held any meaning to me. Sure, I had had my first kiss at a party while we played Spin The Bottle, but they didn't open up the gates to zoo in '[Y/N]-tummy-land'. I remembered that my breath could be stale by now, considering the fact that I had run out of tic-tacs to eat in the lift, but reminded myself that I had brushed not an hour ago. I felt my eyes flutter shut as Dan pulled me closer to him, hoisting me onto his lap. I tangled a hand in his curly hobbit-hair, the other on his cheek. He ran a hand through my freshly-washed, soft, and untangled hair, easing it out of his ponytail. His other hand encircled my waist, pulling me closer every time I pulled my body away from his. At this point, a kiss would've probably gotten much heated, but our's still remained sweet and innocent, yet heavily passionate. We slowly pulled away from each other, my eyes still closed as I touched my forehead to his. He bumped our noses together, making me giggle. Just then, the door opened and Phil entered. I turned to the door, eyes wide in horror, while Dan just gave Phil a crooked smile. Phil, in reply, almost dropped his laptop, and rushed out of the room, but not before Dan yelled out - "I JUST KISSED HER!" I, of course, blushed. The 'being flustered' soon changed to confusion. "Dan," I asked, "Why was he so terrified? I mean, sure, he acts like he's an innocent ray of sunshine, but we weren't even kissing that time! Why did he run away like that?" Dan turned away from the door, and looked at me. He grinned at me before replying: "Didn't you see? The camera was pointed towards us - he was doing a live stream."