#these gay wizards really are taking over my entire brain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uniformbravo · 2 years

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time for the thing where i yell about gay wizards Even More than ever before (with my heart, soul, AND ass) get ready

let's gooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

---

[Simon] "Why all the wars? Why did they all start with the vampire raids?"

"The war with the dark things started there," she says. "That should be obvious. I mean, mages and vampires have never got on--we need Normals alive, and they need them dead. But invading Watford, that was an act of war. And it was the first real attack by the Humdrum, too."

ok. my brain is fresh just getting back into this so bear with me but like. it was established that the dragon was under some sort of spell or trance or something when the humdrum sent it to attack watford, right? idk if it's different bc the creatures it sends are like. Creatures. but vampires are just People, so is it maybe not the same for them? is the understanding in the magickal world that the vampires were Working with the humdrum, like he told them to attack and they were like u got it boss, or were they similarly under a spell

bc if it was the latter then doesn't it mean they're like. not Technically at fault. like the dragon

and if they were working with the humdrum, why have they literally never shown up again since then. or are we just missing context here. if there's a war against dark things, as penny says here, then maybe that's implying that vampires and other Funny Guys are doing other shit on the side, just not directly relevant to watford or any of our characters' povs atm

(or MAYBE they were under a spell during the attack and their continued part in the war is because they were blamed for something they actually had no control over??? i mean they ended up having a Lot of casualties that day, what with being burned to a crisp and all that. whatever the reason for the attack was, it had to have been either really worth it for the price, or not even their choice in the first place)

thirdly, does the humdrum actually attack people who aren't simon? there was a point earlier in the book where simon was like "maybe the mage is right and i should leave watford, then everyone else would be safer because the humdrum wouldn't be sending shit to attack the school" which VERY much implies that it only goes after simon specifically

so then like. why would it send a bunch of vampires to attack watford before simon was even old enough to attend 🤔 and going with my theory that it came into existence directly because of simon, it just makes even less sense bc its number 1 fixation during its entire existence is. simon. at least that's what i'm assuming

also, last thing, that bit about "we need normals alive, they need them dead" is another detail highlighting how out of the ordinary the attack was- if they always feed off of normies then Why attack watford

it's all just more clues pointing to there being way more to the vampire attack than just another Humdrum Incident

"You didn't hurt Baz."

"Maybe I did--he'd never admit it."

"Maybe it didn't hurt him," she says, "because he's already dead."

"Baz isn't dead."

"Well he's not alive."

"I....I think he is," I say. "He has magic. That's life."

👀 simon????

[Baz] When I come back, Bunce is gone. I can tell she's been sitting on my bed again--it smells like her. Like blood and chocolate and kitchen herbs. I'll snap at her about it tomorrow.

lol saving it for later

I need to go hunting in the Wood again; the rats are getting few and far between in the Catacombs, even though I try not to take the females.

It's a pain to hunt in the Wood. I have to do it during the day because the Mage brings the drawbridge up at dusk, and I can't Float like a butterfly over the moat every night like I did today; I don't have the magic.

bro get this guy some freakin ACCOMMODATIONS @ the mage i thought ur whole thing was diversifying and opening up the school to anyone w magic u ran ur mouth now WHERE'S ur money

not to get all up in arms abt fantasy boarding school but this guy shouldn't have to be scrounging around for rats down in the Cat of Combs to get by no matter HOW goth he is smH

At first it was as if Snow was giving magic to me. Sending it to me. But then the magic was just there. It was mine, in that moment, everything that was his.

All right. I have to stop thinking about it like this. Like it was a gift. Snow would never have opened himself up to me if there hadn't been a dragon overhead....

ehehehehe getting carried away there :3c

I wonder if I could take the magic from him if I tried, but the thought turns my stomach.

Nice nice nice nice love it love this love that for u baz sweetie ur doing amazing

"Baz?"

"What." I sit on my own bed, on top of the covers.

"I....can you come here?"

"No."

"I can come over there, then."

I cross my legs and arms. "You may not."

Snow huffs, exasperated. Good, I think.

baz sticks his tongue out at simon in the dark when he can't see

(simon does the same thing, forgetting that baz can see-)

"You can't sit on my bed," I say as he sits on my bed. "And neither can Bunce. My bed reeks of intensity and brownies."

"Here," he says, holding out his hand.

"What do you want from me, Snow?"

"Nothing," he says. And he means it, the actual bastard.

LOL LMAO baz freaking out that none of his psychic attacks are working as simon continues to nonchalantly invade his personal space, none the wiser to the effects of his own unintentional psychic attacks,

"Are you going to let me do it again?"

"No."

"Then it doesn't matter if it was a fluke!"

Snow's still sitting on my bed. "All right," he says, "Maybe."

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe I'd do it again," he says.

uououghguough 👀 👀 👀

(also the detail "he's STILL sitting on my bed," kfkdjglsdjdkgjdk lmaooooooo)

[...] "What if I turned it against you?" [...] "What if I took your magic, cast it against you, and settled Baz versus Simon, once and for all."

(he said s-)

Snow's mouth is hanging slightly open. His tongue shines black in the dark. "Why are you such a villain?" He sounds disgusted. "Why have you already thought of that?"

"I thought of it when I was still rhyming at the dragon," I say. "Didn't you?"

"No."

"This is why I'm going to beat you," I say.

GFKGJDOJFKDJGKD BAZ

he had to think the villainous thoughts first, to make room for all the gay thoughts later,

"We're on a truce," Snow says.

"I can still think antagonistically. I'm thinking violent thoughts at you constantly."

LOL

He grabs my hand. I want to pull it away, but I don't want to look scared--and also I don't want to pull it away. Bloody Snow. I'm thinking violent thoughts at him right now.

look dude with how twisted up ur thoughts of love and hatred for him are, expressing violence towards him is Basically a confession at this point

the way baz is like, trying to defend himself by spitting Violence and Aggression at simon like he usually does, only to be met with simon just. calmly advancing, sitting on his bed, taking his hand, is like. so beautiful. so fucking good. baz is an angry hissing spitting cat and simon is slowly reaching his hand out to pet him and Then (what happens next will warm ur heart)

Snow licks his bottom lip and closes his eyes halfway. Is this how he looked this afternoon? Crowley.

LMFAOOOOOOOOO if simon had stood in front of baz instead of behind him that dragon woulda crushed the entire school into rubble

I feel his magic.

At first it's a buzz in my fingertips, then a rush of static up my arm. I try not to squirm.

"Okay?" he asks. His voice is soft.

🥺🥺🥺

HIS VOICE IS SOFT AHGUGGHAUGHG STOP

The static in my arm settles into a heavy thrum, like electrical sparks catching into flames. The discomfort goes away, even though the licking, flaming feeling gets stronger. This I know what to do with: This is fire.

👀 HAS NO IDEA HOW TO INTERPRET THIS BUT KNOWS IT MEANS FUCKING SOMETHING HRUGAGHUG ARE U KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEE

"Still okay?" he asks.

"Grand," I say.

HE KEEPS CHECKING IN IM KIND OF SOBBING????????

"What does that mean--does that mean you could use it?"

I laugh, and it comes out more good-natured than I mean it to. "Snow. I think I could cast a sonnet right now."

"Show me," he says.

SCREAMSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHY DOES THAT HIT WHY IS THAT SO GOOD WHY AMD I SCREAMINGGGGGGG AAAAAAAAAAAAA

I speak clearly: "Twinkle, twinkle little star!"

By the time I get to the end of the next phrase, the room around us is gone, and the stars feel close enough to touch.

"Up above the world so high!"

Simon grabs my other hand, and my chest opens wider.

my face is in my hands this is so much this is SO MUCH THEY ARE IN THE STARS,,,, THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS,,,.,, FELLAS,,.,., CAN I GET A

"Is it too much?"

"No. It's like you completed the circuit," I say, gripping his other hand. "I feel kind of drunk, though."

"Drunk on power?" he asks.

I giggle. "Shit, Snow. Stop talking. This is embarrassing."

"Do you want me to pull back?"

"No. I want to look at the stars."

"I'm pulling back," he says.

LET HIM LOOK AT THE STARS

Now we're just sitting on my bed, holding hands. Simon Snow and I. I can't look at his eyes, so I stare at his cross.

Just Two Bros Sitting On The Bed Holding Hands After Visiting The Stars Together, What's Better Than This

He looks uncharacteristically thoughtful. I wonder if he's forgotten that he's holding my hands. Or if he's forgotten what it means to hold hands. Or if he's forgotten who I am entirely.

I think again about pulling my hands away--but Snow could light fires in my palms at this point, and I wouldn't pull away. It feels like he has.

WE'RE LOSING HIM ALERT ALERT WE ARE LOSING HIM FAST

"Baz," he says, and it's not unprecedented for him to say my name, but I know he avoids it.

There It Is

He Avoids It

"This is stupid. If we're going to be working together, you can't keep pretending that I don't know."

"Don't know what," I say, yanking my hands back.

"Get off my bed."

Snow stands up, but doesn't stand down. "I know. I've known since our fifth year. How're we supposed to help you if you're still keeping all these secrets? Like, why did you start school late this term? And what happened to you? And why are you limping?"

"That's none of your business," I hiss. "None of it."

fuck. fuck every time simon brings that up baz clams right the fuck up and i just. im dying to get to a point where baz CAN tell him like. is he even gonna TELL him or is simon just gonna like. Find Out. i want it so fuckin bad this is like. benchmark how much baz trusts simon it's gotta keep coming up and EVENTUALLY.......

"We're supposed to find out who sent blood-sucking vampires to kill your mother, and you are a blood-sucking vampire. You don't think that's relevant?"

As if I can just admit that. Out loud. On the record. As if every other magician wouldn't gladly light me up if they knew it to be true.

:(((((((((

As if Snow himself hasn't been trying to expose me every day for seven years.

I clamp my jaw shut.

:(((((((((

JUST!!!!!! this is an assumption on my part but the idea that he DOES want to be able to trust simon with that information, in another universe, on another timeline, where allowing that info to be exposed wouldn't be a direct threat to his life LIKE. does simon even realize.

like im sure that was the point when he was trying to expose him as an enemy, but now that they're trying to be on the same side, temporarily, does simon even realize the implications of what he's asking baz to do.

this is just the "i could steal your magic" thing all over again, really. the "i thought of it immediately, didn't you?" baz's outlook on this entire situation, the baz vs simon situation, is through a lens of self-preservation, survival, taking any chance he can get to get the upper hand bc he knows he'll lose in the long run

so while simon's sitting here like "this is my current goal, we need to cooperate to make it happen, baz is just being stubborn because he sucks and hates me" whereas baz is like "this truce isn't gonna last forever, thinking about the long run the stupidest thing i could do right now is openly admit to the thing he's been maliciously trying to pry out of me for years"

it's just!!! kinda sad!!!!

and also. thinking about it as a Gay thing. u know, the "hiding an enormous part of ur identity from a community that would immediately turn against you if they knew" metaphor. baz really just straight up has No place he is truly accepted for all parts of him. like obvs there's the vampire thing everywhere except for home, where it's known, but then he said earlier that his dad doesn't accept his sexuality so even though he's technically safe at home, he's still not Accepted as he is

(and i'm pretty sure his aunt fiona knows and accepts that he's gay, but she fucking hates simon for war-related reasons SO LIKE)

makes me sad :(

i also wanna quickly touch upon smth else tho, which is simon's point about how honesty and openness between them will help with their search; baz is currently the only one who holds all the pieces to the puzzle so far; along with everything the three of them have discussed together, he also has the memories of the day of the attack, as well as what happened to him at the beginning of the school year.

bc that's another piece of it, i think; his kidnapping has everything to do with what happened with the vampire attack, probably the same person/group who orchestrated the attack was behind the kidnapping too, bc like. ok

the point of the attack was to turn baz & natasha into vampires, right, and that worked. baz is a vampire, and it's a Super heavily guarded secret- but obviously whoever ordered the kidnapping knew about it, or else the numpties wouldn't have thought to put him in a coffin or give him blood (and obvs they had numpties do it to conceal their own identity but like we already knew that)

ALSO while im talking abt it another theory to add onto that, u know what was Conveniently happening at the beginning of the school year at the time of The Numpting?? the whole thing w the Veil Lifting and all those ghosts comin thru w juicy info for me & u???

penny Literally said at one point that it used to be a Thing for people to get kidnapped or murdered before the veil lifting so they couldn't be told Crucial info abt like conspiracies and crimes n stuff SO LIKE. GUESS WHO SHOWED UP W CRUCIAL INFO ABT CONSPIRACIES AND CRIMES N STUFF

in conclusion baz was kidnapped to keep his mom from spilling the beans abt her murder by the people who murdered her and the WHOLE reason i bring this all up is bc baz is the Only One who has all the info necessary to make these connections but obvs he's not about to tell simon or penny about it, which potentially Does hinder the effort

so my point is to properly solve the mystery and get to the bottom of the whole conspiracy baz is gonna have to open up to them eventually and i am SUPER looking forward to it, PLEASE crack this guy open like a walnut i am Ready 2 Witness It my opera glasses are OUT

[Simon] I have to admit, my first thought is that Agatha misses me. That she wants to get back together.

I'll say yes, of course. I won't even make her ask. We can go right back to how we were.

PLEASE not this not ur pathetic ass inventing a situation that glosses over agatha's issues and the reason she broke up w u in the first place

Maybe I'll even tell her what's going on with Baz--maybe she can help.

[...]

This has all been such shit. Ignoring each other. Sitting apart. Acting like enemies when all we've ever been is friends.

ok but this is making me sad :( i'd REALLY love to see simon get over the breakup and become friends with agatha again bc they're not right for each other romantically but as friends they would be so cute ;w; and also it just makes me sad when years long friendships are broken in general :(((

But also, she's just not that social. Especially at school. She used to be really involved in dance, before Watford, and she's still all caught up in horses, and I think she's closer to her summer Normal friends than anybody here.

[...]

I don't think Agatha cares that much about magic, full stop. The last time we talked about the future, she was thinking about becoming a veterinarian.

bro how did it only hit me Just Now agatha is a HORSE GIRL she's out here begging her daddy not to get rid of the ornery stallion they got saddled with last week, she can tame him if he just gives her some time, she can teach him to LOVE

but jokes aside SEE this is what i mean agatha has her whole entire Other shit going on offscreen and it's just so. she is Neat

I've been thinking a lot about Christmas lately. I always spend it with the Wellbeloves. I have since I first came to Watford.

[...]

It's how Agatha and I got to be friends. [...]

They're all good to me, Helen included. Agatha's mum gives me nice clothes for Christmas, and her dad talks to me about my future like I'm not going to die in a ball of fire.

I just really like them. And I like Christmas. And I've been thinking about how weird it's going to be to sit around the dinner table, talking to Agatha's parents, knowing that we're broke up.

🥺

(also that ball of fire line simon PLEASE)

"My dad wants you to know that of course you're still welcome at our house for Christmas," Agatha says.

"Oh," I say. "Good."

"But I think we both know how uncomfortable that would be," she goes on. [...]

"Right," I say. It would be uncomfortable, I guess.

"It would ruin Christmas," she says.

[...]

"Right," I say instead.

"So I told him that you were probably going to stay with the Bunces."

Agatha knows I can't stay with the Bunces. Penelope's mum can only take about two or three days of me before she starts treating me like a Great Dane who can't help knocking things over with its tail.

[...]

"Right," I say to Agatha. "Okay."

She looks at the floor. "I'm sure my parents will still send gifts."

"I'll send them a card."

"That would be nice," she says. "Thank you."

GENUINELY SO FUCKING SAD OVER THIS?????

like ok agatha's not perfect & i know i've generally been in her corner but this is straight up like. a mean thing to do gjdkfjslgksdjkdf

i mean it's one thing not wanting ur ex to come over for christmas, completely understand that, but also. he's been coming over since before they were dating, since his first YEAR at watford, AND she knows he has literally nowhere else to go so he's just like. gonna be alone for christmas i guess????

IDK LIKE I SAID I GET WHY SHE'S DOING IT BUT ALSO I AM SAD FOR SIMON he was looking forward to it he didn't even consider that he might not still be going this year bc it's such a staple for him, like it's not just a breakup he legit considers the wellbeloves as family, or something close to it, and now he's being cut off from that and im just :((((((((((((

I roll my eyes. He probably thinks pixies are a lesser species. Half-sentient, like gnomes and Internet trolls.

*SPITS DRINK* WHAT NOW?????????? HUH??????????????????? U WANNA RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN???????????????????????????????? HELLO??????????????????????

"It's like being a fairy named Mary," he goes on.

"Or a vampire named Gampire," I say.

"Gampire isn't even a proper name, Snow. You're terrible at this game."

GAMPIRE SIMON. GAMPIRE

He still won't talk to us outside of the room.

Baz says it would confuse his minions to see him consorting with the enemy. He actually called them that--"my minions." Maybe he was taking the piss....

My Minions (affectionate)

(honestly after what he said abt internet trolls i wouldn't put it fucking past this universe to have Canonical Minions)

I can't always tell when Baz is mocking me. He's got a cruel mouth. It looks like he's sneering even when he's happy about something.

another one for the autistic simon headcanon, boys

Actually, I don't know if he ever is happy. It's like he's got two emotions--pissed off and sadistically amused.

(And plotting, is that an emotion? If so, three.)

SIMON PLEASE I CAN'T AKGJAGJSLDGDS

Plus Penny doesn't want Baz to know that her family might be on the outs with the Mage. (Even though Baz'd probably sympathize.)

Even Though He'd Sympathize

(let them be allies! stop having them be enemies!)

Penny keeps reminding me that Baz is still my enemy. That when the truce ends, he could use everything he's learned against me.

But I'm not sure I'm the one who needs reminding. Half the time we're together, I'm just sitting on my bed reading while Penelope and Baz are comparing their Top 10 favourite spells of the 1800s or debating the magickal worth of Hamlet versus Macbeth.

GOD they're so FUCKING CUTE

The other day, he walked her over to the Cloisters on his way to the Catacombs. When he came back, he reported that there weren't any clues about how she gets into Mummers House. The next day, she told me he didn't acknowledge at all that he was on his way to suck blood out of rodents.

LMFAOOOOOOOOOO literally besties. literally Companions

"You going my way?" she says to him now, from the doorway.

"No, I'm in for the night," he says.

So fucking weird.

LOL simon bluescreens: a saga

I'm getting my pyjamas together when he speaks up:

"So what's your plan next week? For the holidays?"

BROOOOOOOOOO HE SAID IT

"Snow," he says.

"What."

"You should come to Hampshire."

I stop and look at him. "What? Why?"

HE DEADASS INVITED HIM OVER FOR CHRISTMAS BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM OPEN MOUTH SCREAMINGGGGGGGGG

Baz clears his throat and folds his arms, lifting his chin to emphasize how much he looks down on me.

he's posturing dude he's trying to cover up how much he's screaming on the inside asking you this question show some respect

"You're suggesting I go home with you."

"Yes."

"For Christmas."

"Yes."

"With your family."

Baz rolls his eyes. "Well it's not like you have any family of your own."

"You're mad." I move again towards the bathroom.

"How is it mad?" he demands. "I could use your help, and there's nothing here for you--you'd think you'd appreciate the company."

TEN REASONS WHY SIMON SNOW WOULD BE AN FUCKING IDIOT TO REFUSE MY GENEROUS CHRISTMAS INVITATION:

"I can't stay in your house. Are you kidding me?"

"Snow, we've lived in the same room for seven years. How can you have a problem with this?"

THE DESPERATION..... THE JUMPS IN LOGIC...... BAZ PLEASE YOURE INSANE

"She's sent his Men away again," Penny says. "Premal says the Mage himself is coming to the house next time."

"Then I should be there," I say. "He'd never hurt her in front of me."

Penny stops in her tracks. "Simon. Do you really think the Mage would hurt my mother at all?"

I stop, too. "No. Of course he wouldn't."

O O F

😬

"Tell the Mage you're staying here for Christmas," she says. "He'll want to spend it with you."

That makes me laugh.

"What?" Penny asks.

"Can you imagine?" I say. "Christmas with the Mage?"

[...] "Think of the gifts," I say, laughing. "He'd probably wrap up a curse for me just to see if I could break it."

"Blindfold you, drop you in the Hell of the Wood, and tell you to come home with dinner."

"Ha!" I grin. "Just like in our third year."

the fact that they're joking that if the mage gave simon christmas gifts they'd just be more of the trials and tribulations he's been putting on him since he was like 12?????? HELLO???????

not to read too much into it but ZOOMS IN the way that simon's relationship w the mage is such that to imagine spending a holiday usually reserved for friends and family with him is SO ABSURD he can't even take it seriously, like the mage falls so far out of the categories of friend or family, their relationship is in no way sentimental but rather Strictly Business i.e. the mage setting Tasks for simon to complete like a fuckin rat in a maze, this whole excerpt just speaks volumes about their dynamic in contrast to the feelings simon has expressed on the matter in the past, in this essay i will

He closes the lid of his trunk and snaps the latches. Then he looks at me, frowning, and decides something. I'm familiar with that look. I put my hand over the hilt of my sword.

LOL LMAOOOO GOD

"Snow....," he says.

"What."

"I feel like I should tell you something. In the interest of our truce."

I look over at him, waiting.

"That day you saw Wellbelove and me in the Wood..."

need to officially document that the second i read this line i shoved my face into my pillow and Had Emotions for a second

I open my eyes. "You weren't trying to pull my girlfriend?"

"No."

"Sod off," I say. "You've been trying to get between me and Agatha since the day she chose me over you."

"She never chose you over me."

"Get over yourself, Baz.

He looks pained; that's a new one. "No," he goes on. "What I'm saying is--I've never been an option for Wellbelove."

SCREAMS SCREAMS WAILS AND SCREAMS HELLO HELLOOOOOOO??????????? IS HE LITERALLY TRYING TO COME OUT TO SIMON RN HELP HELLO PLEASE???????????? WHAT ELSE COULD HE POSSIBLY MEAN BY THIS IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"She interrupted me," he says. "That day in the Wood."

I ignore him.

"She interrupted my dinner. She saw me. I was asking her not to tell anyone."

OUGUGHGHUHOUGHG ???!?!!?!!!?!???!?!?!?! HE'S BEING VAGUE ABOUT IT BUT STILL GOD THIS IS SO CLOSE THIS IS LIKE TEETERING ON THE EDGE OF IT HES TRYING SO DAMN HARD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"in the interest of our truce" MY ASS u are doing this for ur WHOLE ASS SELF "hmm what can i do to maybe make snow hate me a little less Oh I Know" FJGOFUGJFJGJ THOUGHT PROCESS EXPOSED

"And you had to hold her hands for that?"

"I only did that bit to piss you off. I knew you were watching."

"Well, it worked," I say.

popped him out of existence like an angry little pimple

"You're not listening." He's looking very pained now. "I'm not ever going to come between you and Wellbelove. I was always just trying to piss you off."

it's 3 am and i am kicking my legs and squealing and going like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i am PROCESSING FUCK

maybe not DIRECTLY coming out but at LEAST trying to communicate that he isn't interested in agatha and wasn't trying to ruin simons fucking love life (even tho we all know secretly he was)

but why is he looking so pained if he's NOT trying and failing to communicate that hes gay. maybe it's just that he's being genuine for probably the first time ever on purpose and it's going right the fuck over simon's head and making him even MORE pissed at him and gkagjsodgsdgkd

"Are you saying you flirted with Agatha just to hurt me?"

"Yes."

"You never cared about her?"

"No."

I grit my teeth. "And you think I want to hear that?"

"Well, obviously. Now you can make up with her and have the best Christmas ever."

WAS THAT THE REASON. HE FELT BAD THAT HIS MEDDLING CAUSED SIMON TO BE ALONE FOR CHRISTMAS AND HIS ONE ATTEMPT TO MAKE UP FOR IT BY INVITING SIMON OVER FAILED SO NOW HES LIKE I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO GET THEM BACK TOGETHER BC HE ASSUMES THE REASON THEYVE BROKEN UP IS BECAUSE OF THAT DAY IN THE WOOD

he's GENUINELY trying to do simon a solid even tho it means they might get back together which he doesn't want to see but he feels he owes it to him especially with the truce at play I?????????!!!!!!?!?!!!??????!!!!

im actually gonna SCREAM

"You're such an arse!" I say, jumping to my feet and charging at him.

"Anathema!" he shouts, and I hear him, but I almost plant my fist in his jaw anyway.

INVOKING THE PROTECTION OF ANATHEMA IN THE FACE OF IMMINENT DISASTER it will never get old it will NEVER not be so fucking good

imagine at some point in the future they're not even in their room but they start fighting and one of them yells ANATHEMA out of habit

Anathema Cant Save U Now Bitch *gives the wedgie of a lifetime*

"She was carrying around your bloody handkerchief, that whole time you were gone. Since last year."

"What handkerchief?"

I go to the drawer where the handkerchief is shoved in

KEEPS IT IN HIS DRAWER,

with my wand and a few other things, then I wave it in his face. "This one."

Baz pulls the fabric out of my hand, and I pull it right back because I don't want him to have it. I don't want him to have anything right now.

LMFAO NOT THE DOUBLE SNATCH

NOT THE "FUCK YOU UNPULLS YOUR HANDKERCHIEF" REVERSAL

"Look," he says. "I'll stop. I'll leave Wellbelove alone from now on. She doesn't matter to me."

"That makes it worse!'

"Then I won't stop!" he says, like he's the one who should be angry. "Is that better? I'll damned well marry her, and we'll have the best-looking kids in the history of magic, and we'll name them all Simon just to get under your skin."

LOL LOL LOL LMAO LOL LMAO LMAO BAZ LMFAO BAZ SCREAMS

"Just go!" I shout. "Seriously. If I have to look at you anymore, I won't even care about the Anathema. If I get kicked out of Watford, at least I'll finally be done with you!"

oh SHIT he's not fuckign playing around baz u gotta get outta there he's gonna kill u in real life hgjfugjfugkdjgkdf

absolutely tragic. he tried so hard to make peace HE TRIED TO MAKE AMENDS IN THE NAME OF THEIR TRUCE and all he did was make things fucking worse AND THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS NO LESS

genuinely tho poor baz :( legit tried to make an effort and it blew up in his face

i mean it IS his fucking fault but STILL

it reminds me of before, back towards the beginning of the book, when simon was recounting the chimera incident and talked about how baz was shouting at him and "accidentally" told him what using magic felt like to him, when in reality he was offering genuine advice to help him in a dire situation

this again is an example of miscommunication as a result of their years long rivalry, because simon is basically incapable of registering anything other than antagonism on baz's part, he literally just always assumes the worst of him. so when baz Actually goes out of his way to be helpful or anywhere within the realm of amicable his intentions just fly right the fuck over simon's head because anything baz does gets put thru a Bad Faith filter before it even reaches simon's critical thinking center and he just goes Yeah Right Asshole every time

and this time especially went south bc simon is still very much hurting over the breakup and still 1000% blames baz so of Course when baz says shit like "yea no idgaf about agatha i was just trying to piss u off" simon's not gonna hear "oh baz isn't actually a romantic rival so there's no threat to mine and agatha's relationship" he's gonna be like "SO U RUINED MY RELATIONSHIP FOR NO FUCKING REASON U WEREN'T EVEN TRYING TO STEAL MY GIRLFRIEND U LITERALLY JUST WANTED TO SEE ME MISERABLE 😡😡😡"

which TBF is all literally true LMAO

so basically baz's plan to save simon's christmas fucking backfired to hell and back which is why he finally snaps and gets pissed at the end, because he can't fucking do anything right and now simon's For Real mad at him and he doesn't even have a date to the prom

[Baz] I was trying to do Snow a favour.

A favour that doesn't serve my interests at all--at all.

yeah??????????????? Yeah????????????????? Are U Sure About That

I bloody well should marry Wellbelove. My father would love it.

Marry her. Give her the keys to whatever she wants keys to. Then find a thousand men who look exactly like Simon bloody Snow and break each of their hearts a different way.

LOLLLLLLLL Bring In The Twink Parade Tell Them All That They Bombed The Modeling Audition And They're Banned From Their Local Sephoras

I didn't expect to mend any fences with all this...co-operating. I didn't expect to convince or convert Snow. But I thought we were making progress.

SOBBING AND WAILING

Like, maybe when this was all over, he and I would still be standing on either side of the trench, but we wouldn't be spitting at each other. We wouldn't be spoiling for the fight.

I know Simon and I will always be enemies....

But I thought maybe we'd get to a point where we didn't want to be.

U CANT DO THIS TO MEEEEEEE WHAT DO U MEANNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭

ANY time baz uses simon's 1st name gets me in my fuckin heart BUT THIS ONE HURTS SO BAD AAAAAAAAAAAAA "i know simon and i will always be enemies" SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AND WHIMPERING UAUAAAHGHG

the way he only does this shit when he's being Genuine and Unguarded abt his feelings for simon i. I!!!!!! i can't do it bro i cant take this anymore im literally gonna snap like a dry ass twig this is a TARGETED ATTACK,,,, ON MY FEELINGS,

he wants it so bad he wants simon so bad but he has to be Realistic he can't even hope for a future in which they're together he's SETTLING for this fantasy in which maybe, just maybe they can get to a point that they're not right at each other's throats, that he isn't completely despised by the one person he cares about most- he's hoping for the bare minimum, not even a happy ending but just the bare minimum of mutual reluctance to fight- and he can't even have THAT

the line between "lol rip baz" and "SOBBING AND WHEEZING LET HIM BE HAPPY" is a FINE ONE and all it takes is one funny lil pov switch and some vulnerability to make me pop like a go-gurt getting stomped into the playground

MAKE-A ME SAD :((((

---

alright so i LIED about catching up to where i was this time gjgksdjfkjdg BUT IN MY DEFENSE THEY WERE BEING SO SOFT AND GAY,,, AND THEN THEY THREW MY HEART AGAINST THE WALL LIKE A WET PAPER TOWEL,,,,, HOW WAS I NOT SUPPOSED TO LOSE MY SHIT OVER THAT

so correction: NEXT TIME we might catch up to where i left off gjdfkjskdgsdfndgjdfj (did you see it??? the inclusion of the word "might", implying the possibility that we won't actually catch up next time,)

i make no promises c ya ✌️

#retag later #ss blogging #u know what i get a free pass on tag talking in these posts i already said So Much in the liveblog i'm all worded out #words out of stock. check back tomorrow]

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botwstoriesandsuch · 3 years

Note

hey Kip! I’m sending asks into different writer’s askboxes, inquiring about cool themes/development facts/stuff the author wants to share about their personal favorite work of their own. What’s yours? :)

Ok so this ask is old and when I first got it I was like “dang I don’t really have a lot to talk about, what should I talk about I could those revalink headcanons the Kip Cut that turned into a working fic uhh hmm maybe I’ll just make something new to talk about real quick” and then I did and now there is a 12+ chapter Revalink fic in my drafts and I’m gonna talk about that now, whoopsie doopsie [click "j" to skip]

aHEM, OK so allow me to break out the primary school white board because yeah, I have a lot of thoughts and the oxford comma has not yet made it’s home into my brain. oh and spoilers for paraphrase. for both all of Chapter one and future events in later chapters, but it’s really nothing you couldn’t surmise from the AO3 tags

so I really wanted to tell the story of Revali and Link learning and struggling to love again after the less-than-fortunate events of Botw, but I wanted a...how you say...fresher, approach on the subject? Like I know we always say that fanfic writers writing the same tropes and stories time and time again is good because we eat that shit up--but at the same time I had asian parenting as was told never to half ass anything ever, no matter what. So now I'm gay and extra and have depression maybe and oh would you look at that @motherhyrule has dropped a beautiful revalink prompt right into my lap

Great so now that we have, that, I shall take you on the step by step process on how to make a :sparkles: story. So step one is to spend at least five to eleven business days for your white board to dismantle your genre and themes and work them around your character arcs. Luckily I have prepared one ahead of time

s*breaks out those laser pointers that uni professors use* So let's start with defining genre. As define because I HATE you, fuck you. I want you to suffer and writhe on the ground, motherfucker. How dare you think that I would give you nothing but pure predictable fluff, fuck you and yours

is the set of expectations that your audience has when consuming a piece of media

And the great thing about fanfiction is that unlike movies or book where the genres are more vague like, "oh it's a noir mystery genre. so there's a crime, maybe a murder, and a detective and a criminal." or "oh it's a teen romance. so there's some white people and a morally questionable six-pack 18 year old love interest that will be painted as desirable for some reason" BUT with fanfiction HALF of the work out the window, because as soon as you see those #revalink #aro sidon #zelpha #revali is an idiot and #found family tags you already know what's up.

Now what's so great about genre and expectation? Well the fun thing about it is that

I will use it to fucking break you.

... ... ...

<3 For example! <3

In Chapter 1: Holes, you already expect there to be revalink, you already expect them to be soulmates with the soulmarks and there's angst and yadayada ya. Revali and Link have to match because thatttss what this is all about, this is about them! This is about cute, little soulmarks and romantic words!

But whoooopsie doopsie [disney channel laugh track plays] they DON'T match anymore! Link's got a different mark! The number one rule of this entire genre has been broken whoooooooooooooooops. *ba dum tiss*

You might notice with a lot of my writing that I do this a lot, this whole..."oop but there's one little thing that's different." TebaSaki sick fic? Ok cool, but what if Teba burns an irreplaceable relic of the Rito champion to fight a wizzrobe first to characterize why his dumbass clicks with Saki. Mipha deciding to persue Link? Ok what if she chases after a dragon to externalize this conflict as she pierces it's flesh for a scale. Link fighting a Lynel? Ok but what if it's actually a sidlink angst fic in disguise and it's also world building on how Link deals with the bloodmoon that erases all of his efforts which is sort of similar to how his existence was erased from Hyrule 100 years ago mwaahahaha! Ok now that I say this outloud I think I just have a pattern of using fight scenes to externalize character growth. I like fight scenes...anyways.

I think another great thing about the realm of fanfiction is that with the tagging system, I can basically use a chekhov's gun sort of deal, without doing any writing. You know I'm gonna use that gun marked "soulmates" but you don't know when I'm gonna shoot it, and you SURE as hell don't know how.

And huzzah! One of the main points of conflict both drives the tension between Revali and Link, solidifies the unique genre and setting of this world, while also creating a new mystery that will carry over for the next few chapters.

Is Revali right in that Link's rebirth makes him destined for someone new now? What will Link do with the information that his soulmark has changed? Why did it change? Did Revali's change as well? How does anything fucking work right now?

And sure, you might be able to tell where things will end with them, but you sure as fuck will not know how because I HATE you. Fuck you. I want you to suffer and writhe on the ground, motherfucker. How dare you think that I would give you nothing but pure predictable fluff. I am not your goddamn fairy godmother, I will do as I fucking please. You will suffer as you fucking deserve, fuck you and your little tiny--

Oh! But you might have noticed on my little planning whiteboard thing that there was a little T-Chart! For Revali and Link! That's because the next important thing besides plot (and in a lot of cases, including this one, it's argued to be even MORE important than plot) is

~CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~

[to the tune of that history of the world video on youtube]

So yes, it's a little T-Chart outlining their character views in relation to the themes. And the great thing about themes is that they're not something you can necessarily predict in the same way you can with the genre and plot.

But now see, I'm very lazy so I'm just gonna plagiarize @hyrule-kingdom-updates thingy [that you should read btw] because they said my point quite clear enough

Now I don't really need to care about those points about bond and relationships and being understood, because I'm dealing with already established canon characters. I'm not some NERD who dabbles with entire casts of ocs who even cares about ocs not me that's for sure ahaahahaahahahahahaahahahahahAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *cries in my orphaned WTTU fic* AHAHAHA*sobs*DONT FUCKING LOOK AT ME THAT WAY I SWEAR--

/j I love ocs

But the points I do wanna focus on is the idea that characters provide new perspectives on the theme, and that characters growth can be tracked based on their wants, lies, and needs.

So see, themes can be predicted the same as genre/plot because while you can have the same fanfic plots and tropes, theme will always vary!

Sometimes it's a journey of selfworth with Revali! Sometimes it's an exploration of trauma with Link. Sometimes it's about how you deal with the vulnerabilities of love with Mipha. Sometimes there's straight up NOOOO theme, and people just be fucking, and kissing, and baking, and having a good time. And that is totally fine too!

But I'm not a fucking coward.

I'm gonna weave in themes with my plot, because I fucking can.

I'm not a weakling like you.

Do you hear me, 2019 Kip? Do you hear me Demmers? Do you hear me Quill? I'm coming for your ass. You think you're so great, but I'm coming for you. Rest assured that your graves will be as deep as your sculptured pride--

Heeeere is that T-Chart again, plus more!

yyyyyYou might notice that Revali and Link are quite parallel, to paraphrase. Ayoooo, see what I did there? *dabs* I'm a genius. Anywho

They both start off the same way: 100 years ago they were in love and happy. Basically the equivalent of childish naivety. For the first time in their lives, life is whimsical and charming, and they make each other happy. In fact, it's almost a flaw with how they perceive this happiness. But don't worry! It doesn't last long!

You know what happens.

I think the chart is pretty self explanatory. Revali builds walls fast enough to give a republican a wet dream. Meanwhile Link makes every aromantic in the chat groan with his doubled down sentiments in the idea that his chances of being truly happy again are gone.

Now, I can't exactly describe the full on process of the inbetweens, and where Revali and Link are gonna go from here, because...you have to read it for yourself! Heehee...but something I did think was fun was how these character views on the themes are revealed. Because you'll notice that, I never give exposition. Ever.

Ok well, let me rephrase that. I never give exposition scenes. I will never give you a big LOTR fancy wizard scene explaining the ins and outs of a character's question or the world's magic or whatever. I'm a very impatient Kip, and I value efficiency. Nonono, it's all about multi tasking, baby!

Chapter 1: Holes is divided into three parts.

Post 100 Years - Medoh (Establishes Ghost Rev/Bonk Head Link's view)

100 Years Ago - Flight Range (Establishes old Revalink views)

Post 100 years - Mark (Develops Ghost Rev/Bonk Head Link's view in contrast to who they once were)

I think the way that you structure flashbacks is incredible vital, as it's a very quick way to characterize people without having them say stuff like "I used to be like you, until I took an arrow to the knee" or whatever.

And with the main structure of the chapters and the fic as a whole is focus on their characters, that means I can hide whatever other stuff I want in those scenes, becuase you're too busy absorbing the fun character stuff to realizing I'm giving you boring exposition. Like for example:

Post 100 Years - Medoh and Mark

Foreshadowing for the end of the fic

Set up connection to Medoh with Revali

Link has defeated Windblight

Link has been visiting Revali every night for the past few days

Link has already met Kass and presumably Teba

Link doesn't have the Mastersword

Revali's Gale is still an ability that needs master and practice on Link's end

And that's just some of the stuff.

And see, the only reason I can efficiently give all of this information regarding character, and even exposition, is because of the theme. The themes make everything relevant, and everything circles and encompasses one another, so there's absolutely no wasted space. I mean don't even get me started on how it's gonna be to characterize the other characters around this

I don't wanna talk about the other characters too much either because that's spoilers, but you can probably take a gandar based on my notes.

And oh my god this is just on the theme of the faults that come with "soulmates" and "true love" and all that, and how even magical destined relationships still require work and effort, and that no one thing or person solves all your problems. And that's not even TOUCHING the shit on trauma and scars. I didn't think it was even possible for me to talk about botw without touching on that, ha. Ah well, I've been talking for too long.

Revalink has a lot o' writing potential so das pretty cool yeah, I am excite

#revalink #paraphrase revalink #writing

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phoenixyfriend · 4 years

Text

The Naruto/Frozen Crossover

So I was planning on just doing an image ID thing for this post, but apparently the formatting on desktop is such a mess that it’s easier to just make a new post that’s text only. I can also like. Bulletpoint it so that it can be a little neater. All ideas were made with @firebirdeternal‘s help, because they are the most efficient enabler I have.

Also I added some bits at the end.

Under a cut, because it’s Long As Heck.

I originally had two options: either Mid-teens Elsa and Anna being transported to ninja land sometime pre-canon and running into Haku and Zabuza... or just like. Born as a Daimyou's daughters.

Spoiler alert, we’ve got nukenin and I’m a sucker for an intrusive crossover, so transported to ninja land it is.

Suggestion from Birdie:

Mechanism for crossover: Elsa ices over a Wishing Well by accident after having Wished for someone else who understood her, Anna and her fall in and get Ice Mirror Portaled to Ninjaland, falling out of an iced over pond near a shrine that Haku recently prayed at for similar lonely child reasons?

Which I like! They don’t end up there soon enough to run into Haku, because I want a dramatic chase first, but I like it.

Obviously, Anna is forced to learn about Elsa's powers because it's the only thing keeping them safe

Or at least alive

(Elsa will do ANYTHING to keep Anna safe, and if that means she has to get her hands dirty...)

...neither of them knows Japanese, so, you know. There’s that.

I'm thinking that they end up in/near Kiri at first

And they aren't FAST ENOUGH to get away so Elsa panic-enchants a giant reindeer made of snow to run away across the suddenly-frozen ocean.

She and Anna have to ride and Elsa is probably crying the whole time.

Oh shit this is like. RIGHT after their parents die, I forgot. So that’s a thing! They are in mourning and all that fun stuff.

Point is, they use the powers for a Self Defense thing and BBY Haku is just !!! "Master can we rescue them for Ice Cousin reasons?" Zabuza: Yes, and only for those practical reasons and not because I collect endangered children like people collect pokemon cards.

I imagine that maybe they track rumors of a Yuki-onna down, or the Giant Snow Reindeer rides by and Haku’s just like Wat

The girls just tag along with Zabuza because. Like.

Do they like him? No. Do they trust him? No. Do they enjoy the fact that he considers them pathetic civilians? No.

However, Haku is Baby.

Zabuza is REALLY annoyed at them being Useless Civilian Royals “but Haku likes them so I guess they can stay.”

Age at meeting, three years pre-canon:

Zabuza - 23

Elsa - 18

Anna - 15

Haku - 12

Elsa is 90% anxiety/depression master combo BUT if Zabzua protects her then she's WILDLY dangerous so like. Whatever

Elsa's bingo book nickname options, uninspired:

Winter Witch

Winter Queen

Ice Queen

Snow Queen

Something about a Yuki-Onna maybe

She's Very Stately and kinda breakable but Winter is her Bitch

I mean like, the fact that, if protected, she can shut down the agriculture of a fucking country? That's an S-rank even if she's not that useful in a fight.

She's like. Jinchuuriki-level destruction. Generally speaking she wouldn’t. But she could.

Elsa: What the fuck is a chakra? Elsa: my snow monsters are self-sustaining. Elsa: I'm gonna build us a house.

Zabuza has NO idea how her powers work and it is INCREDIBLY frustrating but “there’s no chakra cost to keep these things going and we have shelters on demand” is too convenient to question after a while.

Haku: Delicate, deadly, incredibly fast ninja work. Elsa: I can't dodge a kunai but watch me wreck your entire country's ecosystem in under a day.

Elsa is a siege weapon.

Meanwhile, Anna is really, really into the physicality of ninja practice.

She's clumsy and she's not very good at ninja stuff, but she sure is determined!

Anna also gets on Zabuza's nerves because she keeps insisting that Haku get to be a kid.

Anna: Let's make flower crowns! Zabuza: No, he needs to train, not- Anna: FLOWER CROWNS

Consider: Haku saying Elsa-nee-sama and Anna-hime.

Or just calling Elsa “onee-sama.”

Anna is also younger than Elsa and way more Fun so she probably gets adjusted to Anna-chan or Nee-chan.

If Zabuza calls Elsa “Hime-chan” or “Elsa-hime” or, Sage forbid, “Elsa-sama/dono” then he’s VERY MUCH making fun of her and he’s probably getting his soup frozen that night.

At one point, Elsa... tries to like. Convince herself to have a crush on Zabuza or Kakashi or something until Zabuza just puts a hand on her shoulder and asks "do you even like men?" "...that's an OPTION?"

Zabuza urging her to try and ask out a Cute Kunoichi and Elsa's like.... I can't decide if she's bright red and a useless lesbian or uncomfortable and ace.

I am SO invested in the siege weapon thing.

SHE IS THE SQUISHIEST WIZARD.

It's not her fault that every single other combatant on the continent is Massively Dangerous in melee! She took a very traditional back-line build!

Enemy: Doesn't it GRATE to protect someone so pathetic, Zabuza? Zabuza: She literally froze an entire castle of enemies to death because they harmed her sister, so. No.

Most Ninjas: Sharp Knife. S-Rank Mega Ninjas: Gun. Elsa: High Yield Explosive Rocket Launcher. Literally loses fights to the Knife People, because she can't bring her power to bear on that scale. But if you can give her Time and Prep? No contest.

Long distance AoE

Like you know how Nagato is literally dying of starvation due to illness and can't walk, but he's also capable of leveling powerful villages more or less on his own?

Elsa is the same Vibe.

It’s like sealing a bijuu in a civilian.

She's honestly both more and less powerful? Like it'd be hard for her to kill everyone in Konoha in the snap of a finger? But also, she could starve out the Country of Fire in a summer.

She WOULDN'T, but she could.

I always read Elsa as gay or ace but my brain keeps trying to ship her with dude ninjas and I have to yank it back on a child leash.

People insinuate that Zabuza is interested in Elsa and he's just "What? Ew she's like five."

"I'm eighteen."

"Five."

BUT

Elsa! Might mistake trust and companionship for a crush!

I can see THAT happening despite gay/ace.

Also like. I don’t think Zabuza is straight.

So mlm/wlw solidarity?

And Haku is probs genderqueer.

So Anna is THE TOKEN STRAIGHT.

Anna is like, the Straight Friend who will go to the mat for her queer friends. Like vicious. In-your-face barking like a mean dog at people who were being bigots.

You know how Elsa in the second movie uses her powers to make toys for kids out of ice?

Okay, so her practicing by making things with Haku.

But yeah, Elsa can't really do "throws ice senbon," but she can do Delicate Geometry Things since she apparently, canonically studies math for fun and loves fractals.

Haku: I can trap you in a prison of ice mirrors, and you are at my mercy. Elsa: LOOK AT THIS CASTLE I MADE???

Haku wants to do Pretty Things like Elsa

OH.

Elsa makes... snow bunnies..

For the ninja distraction reasons but also because it's a Soft Thing that makes her feel better about, uh, everything. And Haku likes bunnies.

Zabuza still takes The Dirty Missions but Elsa gets upset when he does something that hurts innocents and Nobody wants Elsa upset. Even Zabuza doesn't want Elsa upset.

When Elsa gets upset, overnight accommodations are suddenly Very Uncomfortable for everyone except her and Haku.

And then Anna gets upset, which makes Elsa even MORE upset.

And then things just keep getting colder.

Zabuza doesn't want Elsa upset for many reasons, not limited to: "Is actually capable of killing me from outside of Sword Range if she's mad enough, even if it’s not that easy" and "the Small Children would be unbearably sad if she died and honestly so might I."

She's more of a friend than a ward and he's not entirely sure he's okay with that.

Zabuza: "Ew, friendship."

He has absolutely no idea how to have a social interaction with people he isn't Bullying, Raising, or Threatening to Kill.

Elsa and Anna have no trouble convincing people they're related, at least. Different coloration with almost identical bone structure.

A tendency to burst into song when they feel emotions.

Identical weird accent that nobody can place.

FOOD

The girls are royalty, they don't know how to COOK.

But they also want food from HOME.

It's a lot of trial and error.

More error than not, since they have both no knowledge and also a language barrier to overcome. It probably takes YEARS before they can describe things like Unfamiliar Flavors well enough for people to say "OH that sounds like spearmint."

When they run into something they know that’s familiar, it’s life-changing.

Chocolate is more common in the elemental nations than in Arandelle and Anna may or may not cry about it.

Anna is loudly bossy, even at Zabuza.

Zabuza is gruffly commanding, to everyone.

Elsa doesn't actually like being in charge, but when she talks, people LISTEN.

(Haku is just happy to be here.)

Elsa radiates two things: Anxiety, and Natural Command, and she basically just fluctuates between those.

"I don't want to be in charge but also I'm vetoing this."

So, obviously, the main reasons that Zabuza keeps the girls around is that Elsa is a living siege weapon and he thinks she could be convinced to help him run a revolution in Kiri, and also that the Ice Queen schtick is like. Really good for Haku and Zabuza can’t really say no to the kid.

HOWEVER, Anna is clumsy and messy and all that, so Zabuza starts training her in Ninja stuff. Elsa joins in on the “I need to know how to Run Fast to get away from fights I don’t want to have in the first place,” but Anna’s the one that’s like “TEACH ME HOW TO SWORD.”

It’s honestly not that hard to teach her, she’s just really, really, REALLY enthusiastic.

Once or twice someone asks why she’s so bad at this yet running around with an A-rank nukenin and Zabuza’s just like “I’ve only had her for a year and a half, shut up!” because it’s not that he’s a bad teacher, it’s that she was a very pampered civilian until like a week before he met her.

He should get a MEDAL for even getting her to low Chuunin.

Zabuza: I'm taking a job from Gato Elsa, who has Training in economics and politics and bureaucracy: I have a better idea.

This is actually not entirely what I’d do but I wanted to make the joke first ANYWAY here’s an actual plot or something.

Oh, also by this point everyone is Canon Ages so Elsa’s 21 and Anna’s 18 and Zabuza’s 26 and Haku’s 15.

Elsa is getting paid to keep the water from interfering with construction, by way of....

ICE COFFERDAM

Elsa with Haku as her Guard while Zabuza is off running his own mission? Which Anna begged to go on because Cool.

Elsa also kind of keeps her involvement on the ice front semi-secret by claiming she’s there as an engineering consultant.

LISTEN canon made her like geometry, I can ENTIRELY believe she’d be excited about the bridge-building.

Gato has hired someone else on the danger level of Zabuza, who is Threatening to Team 7 + Haku? But then when things look bleak Anna and Zabuza arrive and then Scary Sword Man is on our side and oh dear that's a lot of blood.

Which, you know, fun!

Birdie suggested Raiga which I’m not feeling but I do feel the need to bring up as an option.

It’s also not Kisame BUT

Kisame: [giant lake dome filled with sharks]

Elsa: uhhhhhhhhhhh...

Giant lake dome: [is now a giant ice dome]

Anyway

Gato: I'm hiring an army. Elsa: [giant ice wall around his compound] Gato: ... these guys can walk up walls! Elsa: [adds snowman guards] Elsa: ... Elsa: [adds a ceiling]

Just puts Gato's entire mob in a fucking snow globe.

Zabuza shows up twenty minutes late with (Throwing) Star(buck)s just like "Oh, they dead? No? Want 'em to be? Okay cool I'm gonna go pick up Haku, I'll be back in like an hour."

Anna would... LOVE Naruto

ENERGETIC FRIENDLY GOOFBALL

"I found us a baby brother!" "No, we already have Haku." "BUT LOOK AT HIM."

Anna is only a year or two older than Itachi.

OH RIGHT

I wanted to make a joke about how Naruto also vibes with her because he's less judgmental that she can't really... talk properly.

Sasuke is Judgy and Kakashi is Paranoid and Sakura is Uncomfortable.

Meanwhile Naruto is just like "And I Shall Scream."

Anna, who learned Japanese from Zabuza (rude) and Haku (uber polite): WELL FUCK YOU, GOOD SIR Naruto: YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO, LADY Elsa, overly formal: I am... so very sorry.

Anyway, generic missing nin fights and all that.

Elsa gets injured in the process and after a variety of arguments, Naruto manages to convince them to take her to Konoha for medical attention.

Elsa is... usually the one getting injured.

Zabuza and Haku are FAST and Anna is at least learning (even if she’s only been doing it for three years), but Elsa is The Squishy Wizard.

If someone throws a kunai... she can’t... really dodge...

So yeah, gut wound.

Normally they find a nukenin medic to patch them up but Konoha is reasonably close and has some of the more skilled medics on the continent and they DID technically help the Konoha nin so like. Gah.

That’s Zabuza’s final thought. Gah.

Just “Fuck it, let’s save the ice queen.”

Elsa ends up in a half-literal-ice stasis state on the way there and it’s happened before (it is not the first time she’s been stabbed), but it’s always terrifying.

Especially to the Konoha genin who are just like WHAT THE HECK IS THAT.

So they get to Konoha, there’s a whole bunch of stuff about extradition treaties and “you are bringing a literal WMD of a woman into our town” and “we can’t just let MOMOCHI ZABUZA in.”

Anyway, it ends up being that Zabuza has to wait outside the village while Elsa is treated inside, and one of the Teenagers goes in. Obviously, it’s Anna, because Zabuza is INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE with letting Haku enter a village that’s known for having lots of bloodlines, and anyway, Anna’s the sister.

Bunch of stuff, she’s healing, etc, and then one day Anna comes in and is told “your sister had a bad reaction to the anesthetic, we couldn’t save her, I’m sorry, she’s gone.”

She flips out, gets shown the corpse, flips out MORE, gets escorted out to the village walls where Zabuza and Haku are waiting.

Horrified reactions

Zabuza doesn’t want to admit that it’s EMOTIONS because this is his FRIEND, he is clearly just upset about losing the living siege weapon.

Haku is just super confused and goes “But she’s not dead.”

“What.”

“She’s not dead, I can feel her, I can always feel her, it’s like sensing but just her, because we’re both ice. She’s alive, somewhere over... there?”

And points right in the direction of the Hokage Mountain, which for the purposes of this fic and also Drama is where ROOT headquarters is.

YEP we absolutely have that plot point.

Is Danzo overused as a plot device? Probably. Am I going to diabolus ex machina him anyway? Ye.

They kick up enough of a fuss that the Hokage gets called down.

He wouldn’t, normally, he’d leave it to a couple of skilled jounin and call it a day, except Naruto got involved so like. You can’t. Ignore that.

There’s lots of shouting.

Just like. A lot.

And then part of the mountain explodes!

AS ONE DOES

Elsa comes flying backwards out of the hole, catches herself on a spontaneous ice slide, gets to her feet.

Girl is swaying like MAD.

There are absolutely ANBU (both fake and real) coming after her.

At least one of them gets speared through by an ice spike.

Anna runs up to her, tries to hug her, gets batted away.

Elsa’s staring at her in sheer TERROR and starts muttering something about how Anna died years ago, this isn’t real, etc.

Nobody except Anna understands most of it, but Haku picks up enough to translate when Anna’s freaking out.

Elsa starts doing her Ice Castle thing in the middle of Konoha as a coping mechanism, mostly so she can get Up and Away and Shielded By Ice.

This is not a good look.

Especially because she’s singing, which Zabuza always thinks is a bad omen because it means shit is getting real and one or both of the girls are about to get a powerup or be beaten even harder than otherwise. When they start singing, things get More Dramatic And Extreme).

(Zabuza does not like Disney Musical Rules)

Danzo shows up.

There’s a bunch of arguing.

All the medics insist that nothing she was given at the hospital should have caused amnesia, psychosis, hallucinations, delusions, etc.

It’s. Not hard for Hiruzen to guess what happened.

Namely that Danzo, upon finding out that chakra dampeners didn’t do shit since none of Elsa’s powers come from chakra, decided to keep her drugged up and start using genjutsu to make her more malleable.

Because like. An injured WMD just showed up in your village. What are you supposed to do, not try to kidnap her and turn her to your side? Like, come on. What was he supposed to do?

Not that, Danzo. Literally Not That.

IDK how it gets resolved, probably Anna getting to her with the power of love, because Elsa is ultimately Super Disney.

I also don’t really know where to go from there other than “Maybe Jiraiya can get you home, but also I’m pretty sure Zabuza wants you all to get the hell out of here and take over Kiri” but who knows.

Also

IMAGINE ELSA MEETING GAI.

Imagine Ino getting a puppy crush on Elsa.

IDK that’s it for now.

#Frozen #Naruto #Momochi Zabuza #Yuki Haku #Zabuza #Haku #mini fic #Phoenix Babbles #Crossovers #Phoenix Posts

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yellowmagicalgirl · 3 years

Text

and your kisses will be a secret i take to my grave

Douxie had always kept his romantic relationships quiet; it was a side effect of being a centuries old gay man used to bigoted reactions. And so, Douxie wouldn’t have minded if Krel was the one who told everyone. However, Krel was currently reverted to his core and unable to say anything.

This fic contains Rise of the Titans spoilers, do not read beyond this point if you don’t want spoilers!

I saw a theory somewhere on the internet that the green-and-gold orb that Douxie holds in the teaser trailer is keeping Krel’s core alive and my brain spat back this fic in response. The fic assumes that RotT takes place about two years after Wizards.

CW: major character coma as well as references to past period-typical homophobia, torture, death, Douxie being lowkey suicidal, and unwilling transformations.

AO3

FFN

Douxie sat down near the Queen of Akiridion-V. Far enough to be respectful, but close enough that he was still close to Krel. Or at least, what was left of Krel. His core was safely tucked in an orb made from Nari’s magic and some of the few remaining pieces of the Heart of Avalon. It wouldn’t last forever, even with Douxie and Claire routinely channeling magic into the device to help power it. One of their options was to stop in New Jersey to carve out a small chunk of the Heartstone and hope it would keep Krel alive, but in the end Aja and Varvatos would have to take him back to their home planet so he could recover in a stasis chamber since the ones in Arcadia had been destroyed.

“Do you need to...” Aja trailed off, looking between the orb and Douxie.

He shook his head. “Not yet. I just...”

“Douxie, right?” He nodded at the mention of his name. “My brother told me about you.”

“Oh?” Had Krel started telling people about their relationship without telling Douxie he had done so? Douxie supposed he didn’t mind, not when it would have taken the pressure off, but it would’ve been nice to have had a warning.

“Never many details, but he was always so lively when he talked about you. Are you two close?”

Well, they had been dating for a little over three weeks, but Douxie didn’t feel right telling people while Krel wasn’t able to say anything. It felt too much like outing Krel to his sister, despite how homophobia didn’t exist on Akiridion-V. Besides, Douxie had always kept his romantic relationships quiet; it was a side effect of being a centuries old gay man. Even when he found decades-long pockets of history where the people in the area were less bigoted, Douxie would have to move to avoid anyone realizing that he wasn’t aging.

Plus, he was a little intimidated by Aja. He wondered if it was the secretly dating her brother thing or if it was a fear of ruling monarchs that stemmed from the fact that he’d grown up with Arthur trying to kill people just like Douxie.

“I mean, I’d like to think we are,” Douxie said instead.

“I don’t like leaving him on the ship, not alone and like this, but I can’t carry him and fight at the same time.”

“Do you want me to carry him?”

Krel was gone.

It was Douxie’s fault that Krel was gone.

Bellroc and Skrael had taken the orb. None of the guardians could tell how Krel might factor into their plans, but they all knew that it wouldn’t be good for Krel.

Douxie had an idea, even though he hated it.

It was entirely possible that Krel didn’t hold any significance to the Arcane Order’s plan to bring about the apocalypse.

Aside from Douxie and Krel, the only two people who knew about their relationship were Archie and Nari. Douxie wouldn’t have been surprised if Nari was being tortured, and he knew that those being tortured would say anything to make the torture stop. He didn’t blame her, but he also knew that Bellroc and Skrael held a grudge against Douxie. They would want to punish him by taking everyone he loved from him, especially Douxie’s boyfriend that had helped to send the demigods hurtling through time.

It was entirely Douxie’s fault that Krel was gone.

Krel was either dead or dying, and it was unlikely that they’d be able to save him.

Douxie had sworn Archie to secrecy, so that no one would be allowed to learn the truth about Douxie and Krel’s relationship. At least, not until Douxie was as dead as Krel was. Archie had tried to talk Douxie out of it, to tell him that he should allow himself to be honest in his grief.

Douxie had brushed him off. It wouldn’t be the first time Douxie had publicly mourned his lover as a friend with only Archie to know better. It was just the first time that deep down, Douxie knew with his whole heart that if they’d told the world about their relationship before Krel had been hurt, no one would have turned on them for it.

Douxie ran down the halls of the fortress, cursing just how much of a maze this one was. He scrolled through his runes before finding the one that would magically enhance his hearing for a minute if he didn’t get too distracted. He then stopped and closed his eyes to try and listen. If he couldn’t hear anything, then he’d try the soul-sensing magic that Nari had tried to teach him, but it was better to start with something he knew how to do.

“We made you,” Bellroc cursed.

“This way!” Douxie called over his shoulder, running to where Bellroc was. Hopefully they were alone, because Douxie really didn’t want to have to fight both demigods at once again, especially not alone. He made stupid choices in the past, and he was grieving his lover, but he wasn’t that suicidal.

“No, you didn’t.” Douxie nearly stopped running when he heard the voice. It sounded impossibly familiar. His enhanced hearing stopped, but he was just close enough that he could make out the words. He continued running, magically willing himself to go faster.

“Oh, really?” Bellroc said. “It was the Arcane Order who made Gaylen powerful. It was us who bestowed that same power upon you when you would have died otherwise. You will help us summon the titans.”

“You may have forced me to integrate with the core, but I am not Gaylen. I am not Morando. I am not even my parents, nor who they expected me to be. I am no planet-killer, and I won’t kill my friends, family, or boyfriend for you either.”

And Douxie ran into the room in time to see Krel blast Bellroc through a swirling wormhole. It was cyan at the center, but the edges were violet and red. Just like Krel’s hair was now. There was also a pair of glowing red wings adorning his back.

“I thought they’d killed you,” Douxie said as he’d walked towards his boyfriend. A tearful smile began to form on his face.

Krel glanced at his wings. “No, but, I’m not the same person anymore.”

Douxie cupped Krel’s cheek. “I don’t care what they did to you. Well, I do care, but in the sense that I never want you to be hurt, not that it changes how I feel about you. I still love you.”

And then he kissed Krel. For a moment, the two of them were still, but then all four of Krel’s hands began to grasp at Douxie’s body, holding them close. As Krel began to deepen the kiss, his wings began to move, like he was trying to use them to hug Douxie.

“What?” Aja exclaimed, and Douxie and Krel jumped apart from each other. It was too late, Aja had seen them.

“Aja, I,” Krel started, taking a step towards her, but he stopped, looking at his wings. Aja ran to him, squeezing him tightly with all four of her arms.

“We thought you died, I thought I’d lost you like Mama and Papa,” she murmured. Krel stiffened.

“They merged me with Gaylen’s core, tried to make me their weapon.”

“But they didn’t manage with the last part.”

“Not really, they didn’t.”

Aja squeezed her brother more tightly before taking a step back. She crossed both pairs of arms, and her face shifted to a stern expression. It was, thankfully, a similar expression to one that Douxie had seen Claire give to her brothers, so hopefully she wasn’t too mad. “Now, is there something the two of you want to tell me?”

Krel took Douxie’s hand. “Aja, has my boyfriend ever tried to hurt you? Actually, wait, I know your hobbies, so has he ever tried to hurt you outside of a sparring match or anything like that? Because I doubt he has, and that’s already a leg up on when you started dating Steve.”

“He wasn’t exactly truthful.”

“I didn’t intend to lie to you, your majesty.” That managed to earn raised eyebrows from both of the twins. Fuzzbuckets, and he was trying to be polite. “I didn’t feel it was right to talk about our relationship when Krel wasn’t... around to confirm what I was saying.”

Aja sighed. “If you want to be a good boyfriend to my brother, you’ll need to do better at protecting him.” Krel began to protest this, likely about to reference the divinity that had been foisted upon him and how it probably made him more impervious to harm, but Aja held up a hand. “Then again, I’ll need to do the same to be a good sister.”

#rise of the titans #rise of the titans spoilers #tales of arcadia #tales of arcadia spoilers #krexie #hisirdoux casperan #aja tarron #torture tw #death tw #is the title too pretentious? probably but hey it's not a song lyric for once #my writing #toawizards #3below #bellroc #krel tarron #gaylen's core #gaylen!krel

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drunkdumbfucker · 4 years

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Minerva and her wife headcanons

Since no one’s doing it Imma take shit into my own handz so buckle up this is about to gay (verb)

Minerva’s wife’s wonderful name is something adorable as fuck like Rose or Joëlle or Yolanda, she’s a muggle with a phd in bullshit who just yolos her way through life, going from one interest to another and just letting herself go. She has had so many jobs in her life they just stopped counting them.

they met when they were both around 25 year old, when Minerva came back from her many travels post Hogwarts and she was lucky enough to meet this banging chick at a pub, it was love at first sight and idk they just trusted each other instantly and entirely (that’s lesbianism I don’t make the rules, one second you learn the person’s name and the next you’ve already adopted three cats and bought a cottage together)

speaking of! here’s a link to an aesthetic post about their cottage in the Scottish Highlands, just go take a look you won’t regret it.

Rose is an absolute fan of the wizarding world, she rapidly becomes enamoured with the vibe and will listen to Minerva’s rants about some spell or stuff happening at Hogwarts for hours. She tries to understand the point of Quidditch but, much to Minerva’s frustration, she doesn’t really care about it.

When it comes to Minerva’s profession or what she tells her students, they are both very private persons, aside from close family there’s very few people who know about Rose’s existence and even less who ever visited their home.

Which was a decision that proved to be clever as fuck when the first wizarding war struck and everyone with muggle affiliates became moving targets.

if the Death Eaters had heard of Rose, they both know nothing could have stopped them from destroying her. Minerva was, after all, one of the most powerful witches of her time and Albus Dumbledore’s right hand

Rose and Minerva both adopted welcomed Remus inside their house when the universe decided to just lose its shit on him. Rose and Remus spent countless hours bonding over shared music tastes, french romantic novels and their common adoration for Minerva McGonagall.

“Minnie my love you are blushing so hard! Remus this is fantastic, if only I had known sooner she would react like that to Stevie Nicks!”

I like to imagine Remus spending a few months at their cottage, resting and smoking cigarettes with the gals on the steps leading to their garden. Do they think of him as a son? Well yes, they protecc. So when he decides to spread his wings and leave the nest, Rose has to pick up all the little pieces of Minerva’s heart that shattered on the floor at his departure, because her brain finally stopped being in denial about the loss of all her students during the war, all these children she had come to raise and love for decades, whose ends were met with horror and injustice.

it takes some time, but at one point they both wake up and their breath comes just a bit lighter, Minerva doesn’t flinch anymore when the TV screen flashes a green or red glow in the room, nor when the protective charms around their grounds flicker a bit out of nowhere. They know everything’s going to be ok because they will always have each other’s side.

as the years go by, the sunlight starts to catch more wrinkles when they smile, the strength in Rose’s eyes weakens and she has to get glasses so she can keep reading stories to the love of her life. Remus keeps visiting, but his visits are too sparse for their own liking. They won’t tell him anything about it because they know he wouldn’t believe it, but deep down they just want him to find peace and the kind of happiness they have.

That’s it for me, thanks for reading let me know if you want more

#harry potter #minerva mcgonagall #remus lupin #wolfstar #when there's remus there's sirius #that's the way it is #hp

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thischarmingand · 2 years

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2, 8, 13, 22, 30 for the writing meme? 👀

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

Absolutely fucking not oh god. I don't write super fast, my handwriting breaks down quickly and my brain already moves a bit faster than I can type.

But when I do, pen, because I am left handed and I have never met a pencil I couldn't smudge.

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

I mostly write fiction podcasts sooooooo...

That being said if it had to be prose I would probably need it to be a really tight scenario where no one needs to do anything visually complicated that you can't just allude to in dialogue.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Lol, I think none of my characters have... parents, really? I don't know if that's because it would be difficult or I'm just too gay to avoid doing family of choice stuff.

I would be at sea writing about religion from a place of belief - I've done it but it took so much research and it was not much fun on my end, though it came out well.

All of my writing is about the fear of change so that's easy I guess. I think I'm also pretty good at making characters want to kiss.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

Medium organized I'd say. I outline on paper (I have a commonplace notebook I use for everything which is not very organized because I discard outlines at the end of my first draft, and sometimes will have a backup digital one in GDcos as well) and then write in a script software - WriterDuet these days.

For Me and AU I had a spreadsheet of plot beats I wanted to hit and a calendar showing both the Selkirk TV airdates, dates over which episodes of Me and AU were taking place and other important events like the convention at the end of the season. My current thing is just a massive GDoc with a season outline and descriptions of all the regular and recurring characters, plus my neverending rewrite notes and plans for a theoretical season 2 that live in the comments bar.

I generally always know how a project will end when I start it, but there's usually a certain amount of writing into it I have to do and I always overestimate how much one episode can hold. *slaps hood of script* This baby can take so much less than you think.

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

I have reasonably bad insomnia and until recently I only had stress dreams, so I think my answer here is mostly no, other than I know how to channel my anxiety into my writing pretty well, lol.

#writing meme #maybe I'll play around with grief dreaming at some point because it's an interesting phenomenon when I look at it dispassionately #but like #MAYBE IN A FEW YEARS not a few months

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gingersnapwolves · 5 years

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So Untamed looks really cool and I want to watch, but I have a problem and idk if you have any tips maybe? I tried watching the first episode (didn't get very far, maybe 15 minutes) and was utterly confused. I think I'm having a hard time keeping track of characters/names? Partially because I'm not used to watching non-English media and partially because it's hard to get an unfamiliar name to stick in my head the first time I see it, maybe? Any tips on figuring out what's going on in ep1?

Friend! I’ll have you know that I had NO FUCKING CLUE what was going on for the entirety of episode one. Literally SO CONFUSED. Nearly stopped watching. However, luckily for you, I am pend-up and bored right now so I have made a guide for you.

First things first: just accept you will be confused during episode one. Or skip it entirely. Along with most of episode 2.

The timeline goes like this:

Episodes 1+2 -> jump back 16 years! -> episodes 3-32ish -> these take place over the course of about 3 years -> jump forward! 13 years! back to where episode 1 started! by this time you have forgotten everything in episode 1 and 2 and you’ll have to rewatch it anyway!

I’m not saying you can’t watch it in order but boy is it easier to understand if you watch it in chronological order instead. But unfortunately the flashback starts about five minutes before the end of episode 2, not just at the beginning of episode 3, so you have to skim through that episode and wait for Wei Wuxian to faint in a field.

Now, a quick guide! I’ve made snapshots from early on in the series so these are the outfits they’ll be in when you meet (most) of them. Here are your protagonists:

Wei Wuxian aka Wei Ying

Precious ADHD child. Wants to be friends with everyone but also is ready to Throw Down at the drop of a hat. Classic disaster bi.

Lan Wangji aka Lan Zhan aka Hanguang-Jun

Mr. Stoic. Usually seen annoyed with Wei Wuxian’s antics. Classic repressed gay.

Quick note on names: almost all the characters have two. They get a name at birth (Wei Ying, Lan Zhan) and later when they come of age they get a courtesy name (Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji), and if they’re super cool they get a title (Hanguang-Jun). I could write a long, long primer on what names are used in what situations but it can basically be summed up as the courtesy name is more formal and respectful, and the title is even more respectful than that, and when Wei Wuxian calls Lan Wangji ‘Lan Zhan’ in episode 4 he’s doing it SPECIFICALLY to be a little shit and get a rise out of Lan Wangji, and oh boy does it work.

Additional sidebar: in the book at least, they are 16ish at this point, I know they don’t look it, but teenagers never look like teenagers on American TV either, so, whatever. Anyway that explains a lot of Wei Wuxian’s behavior lmao.

Their families:

Jiang Cheng also but hardly ever known as Jiang Wanyin

(sidebar: these are not really the best caps because my computer was being a jerk so I was just grabbing the first one that came to hand, sorry for not catching your best side JC)

(Because the story is from Wei Wuxian’s point of view, and he grew up with Jiang Cheng, the less formal name is used even in the prose, hardly anyone ever calls him Jiang Wanyin)

Jiang Cheng is Wei Wuxian’s younger brother (although Wei Wuxian is adopted) who is angry almost all the time because Wei Wuxian gets away with Literally Everything including things he really shouldn’t, and Jiang Cheng has massive jealousy and resentment issues which are pretty much his mother’s fault. He’s not a bad guy but oh boy, board the Issues Train.

Jiang Yanli (women do not get courtesy names)

(or maybe this is her courtesy name? Please correct me if I’m wrong)

Jiang Yanli is their older sister. She is made of sunshine and rainbows.

Notes on this family: Clan Leader Jiang was friends with Wei Wuxian’s parents. When they died, he took in Wei Wuxian. His wife is Big Mad About This because she suspects (probably correctly) that Clan Leader Jiang was in love with Wei Wuxian’s mother. However, as Wei Wuxian’s mother is now dead, she should Get Over This. Spoiler alert: she doesn’t. This causes lots and lots of problems. Like. Half the series probably could have been avoided type of problems.

Lan Xichen aka Zewu-Jun

Lan Wangji’s older brother. Not Actually a Himbo because he’s not actually dumb. He possesses multiple brain cells. He just Never Uses Them. Very soft and gentle, would like to protect. He’s the Clan Leader even though he’s much younger than most of the other Clan Leaders because their father is either dead or in seclusion depending on if you’re in book or TV show canon.

Lan Qiren

Their extremely strict uncle who raised them and probably didn’t mean to fuck them up for life but probably did.

He’s known to be a good teacher which is why everyone in the teenager arc is there in the first place for Sword Wizard school.

Sidebar: nobody in this show really ages. They’ve done some stuff with makeup and hair to show the time change before and after the skip but that’s all. This is a genre thing; once Sword Wizards have attained a certain level of Sword Wizardry, they stop aging.

Other Important Characters:

Nie Huaisang

Young master of the Nie clan. He is Their Soft Friend during Sword Wizard school.

Jin Zixuan

Heir to the massive Jin clan. He is a dick in the first arc. Gets better later but boy does it take some time. He is betrothed to Jiang Yanli but feels it’s below his station so he’s a jerk to her a lot of the time.

Meng Yao

Jin Zixuan’s illegitimate half-brother. Their dad is a slut. And I don’t mean to slut shame, but he is a Bad Person also, and doesn’t care about his illegitimate children, which tends to cause problems. Meng Yao tried to join the Jin clan when he came of age but Dad Slut refused to allow him in, so he went to serve the Nie Clan instead. But, he is not technically a young master like all these other characters and is more of a high-ranking servant.

Wen Ruohan

The Big Evil of Part One, easily identifiable by his outfit, Lava Palace, and propensity to make zombies

Wen Chao

His super obnoxious kid who goes around threatening people and pissing me off.

Wen Qing

Badass doctor with a big heart who’s serving Big Evil because a) he took her and her brother in after her parents were killed, and b) her brother is basically a hostage.

Wen Ning

Her brother who nearly had his soul sucked out by a ghost one (1) time and as a result is kind of delicate and fragile, but always wants to help others.

Xue Yang

An Edgelord who works for Wen Ruohan and just wants people to stop kinkshaming him for his homicidal tendencies.

These are all the characters you really have to known for the first arc (Sword Wizard school) and by the time you get to episode 6 or 7 you will have gotten used to the names and stuff, I promise. It just takes some time. The rest of the characters are introduced slowly, one at a time, so you don’t get as overwhelmed.

Anyway! I hope this helps! I would really recommend just skipping to the end of episode two (again, watch for Wei Wuxian fainting in a field, that’s your cue that the flashback is about to start) and watching from there, then when you get to the time skip, just go back and watch episodes 1 and 2.

Let me know if you have any questions as I’m always happy to answer them!

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jadedragoness · 4 years

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Review: Peace Talks

First Read Through Reaction

Now staring off, knowing that the book was essentially part one of two did mean that I went in expecting that there would be plot lines that wouldn’t be resolved. I did NOT expect that nearly zero of the plot lines would be resolved, at all. Yikes. Now, I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it. I did. But it felt like there were 50 to 60 pages missing that should have been in the story to at least wrap up minor plot lines before heading into ‘Battle Ground’.

Warning: Full of Spoilers

Such the arrival of the Outsiders those Cornerhounds. Um… Outsiders and at no point that Harry wonder why in the hell they were called to Chicago? Or why they were targeting him and Ebenezer. Seriously, unless the author totally forgot we know that Outsiders can only be called by mortals. So human wizards brought them. So was it someone in the ‘Black Council’ or was it the Formor, since we know from previous stories that they grab humans and mind-whammy them and also modify them. And we know that they’ve been pretty focused on grabbing minor practioners for a couple of years now.

Hell, even just knowing why Thomas attacked the svartalf King would have been good to know in the book even if we don’t find out who it was yet.

That being said lets start of with things I didn’t like.

Thing Which I Wasn’t All that Pleased About:

1. Butters in that threesome relationship.

Now, let me explain, it’s not because its a poly relationship. I don’t even twitch over how Justine and Thomas include others in the sexual part of their relationship. It’s because I kept wondering if Marci was even into dudes. As far as I knew she was only into girls. And now she’s suddenly bi?

What the hell?

I think my reaction has a lot to do with how skewed the sexual orientation gradient in shown among Named characters. You have straight men. Straight women. Bi women who are shown to be blatantly into men and women…and that’s it, now.

No lesbian women with zero interest in men. No bi men. No gay men. No asexual characters. No trans characters. No gender fluid people.

I know that this due to the author’s eye and while it hasn’t irritated me much in the past as we keep getting more and more books with more newly introduced characters the lack is becoming more and more glaring to me. Especially, as I have drifted into reading other series that manage to be way more inclusive about this sort of thing in great and amazing ways *sighs happily over Rivers of London series*. And I don’t just mean in passing with random nameless scenery people that never talk which have popped up in the Dresden Files but with actual characters that have names, dialogue and contribute to the series.

So it really, really annoys me that Marci went from being the only lesbian who is a named character to joining the horde of bi women in the DF verse.

Okay, so its not really a Butters issue to much as a grumble about the spectrum of gender and sexually needing better representation.

*grumbles* Step up your game, Butcher.

I will add that I’m head-canoning that actually the relationship here is Butters with Andi, Andi with Butter and Marci, and Marci with Andi. That pretty much with Butters running around being the new Knight Andi didn’t like how her boyfriend wasn’t paying attention and gave Butters the ultimatum of letting Marci in as Andi’s girlfriend or they broke up.

… yeah, I’m totally liking that spin way, way better.

2. That Marcone took forever to show up! ARGH! I love him ok.

Considering how early he was name dropped in the story the amount of time it took him to show up… Jim Butcher is a damn Marcone-tease. *glares hotly in author’s direction*

3. I don’t like it that Murphy is so hurt. I don’t hate it. I think I’m just uneasy about the future implications.

Having reread the entire series before reading ‘Peace Talks’ I fully expected some lingering injury but not to that level. I’m actually worried about her chances of surviving any upcoming battle, and not just in Battle Ground. There’s even more danger coming down the pipeline in future books and she won’t let herself stay ‘safe’ when she could be watching Harry’s back… so its a worrying problem.

Now if she died I have no doubt that her being recruited to be a Valkerie is an option. But then I remembered how those warrior women go out into the world with ‘clients’ and of the two we’ve seen they’ve been attached to ‘monsters’ aka Lara and Marcone.

Unless, the payment isn’t cash and she can be attached to Harry. *hums in thought*

But then I have to wonder how much Murphy would accept that role. She’s also a pretty devout Catholic as this book reminded us so that is also something that would make her say no to the offer.

4. That the younger Wardens who had so looked up to Harry being so damned suspicious… ow. That hurt. I may have teared up and sniffled into a tissue thinking about it. And then sobbed because so much of it came from Carlos… Carlos! The man went into the Deeps with Harry! Ouch.

5. Rudolph… that roach.

Ugh, I’ve had the disturbing thought that now that magic and the supernatural on the path to being exposed to all of humanity, scared humanity too, that will end up with a resurgence of a new Inquisition and the killing of anything eldritch. And you know that Rudolph would definitely be in it. *shudders in disgust* Creep.

BTW I totally don’t believe that Rudolph answers to Marcone. It doesn’t make sense as to why he was so pushy go get Harry during ‘Changes’. I had thought he was answering to the Red Court but with them being taken out of the picture… now I wonder if he isn’t answerable to the Black Council.

Things I Did Not Expect:

1. Damn… when Ebenezer sent that spell through Harry and ‘killing’ I was so shocked even though I was pretty sure there was a twist coming. Mostly because of what it says about Ebenezer.

Ebenezer actions killed Harry.

Sure it was a fake body that brought no harm to the real Harry. But if Harry hadn’t thought ahead? If he hadn’t used his brain to ask Molly to create a fake? Eb would have killed his own grandson.

Sure it was an accident but it could so easy have resulted in a dead Harry. I was crying so hard I wondered if my eyeballs were loosening in their sockets. Argh.

2. Bonea…. Harry your naming skills are simply weird. I’m so glad that Susan named Maggie.

Although Bonnie is a pretty great nickname.

Thinks I Found Utterly Hilarious

1. The line about the best offense being a T-Rex? Gold. Pure gold.

2. When Harry figured out there are angels in the hilt of the Swords of the Cross and Butter’s immediate reaction of horror because he’d accidentally laundered the hilt, giving it a ride in a washing machine.

OMG! I had the instant image of a miniature angel screaming and growing dizzy when going through the spin cycle.

I know that makes no sense but that’s where my mind went, okay.

3. The conjuritis. Omg, it’s so gross with all the ectoplasm leaking from Harry’s nose but it’s sooooo funny. Also the way he kept getting the ‘aren’t you too old for this’ from Ebenezer and then Lara made me giggle even harder.

Then I thought: dude, it’s like chicken pox, something you got as a kid but if you never had it you get it when exposed later in life. So one of his kids has it. Probably Maggie too.

4. When Sanya pretended to have his hand lopped off. I straightened up and was so worried Sanya had lost a hand. Then when I realized he was pretending to freak out Butters and Harry I admit to laughing way too hard. Got me too.’

Also there’s no way that Sanya was actually defeated there. He’s younger and better trained then Butters, I don’t care how light (Heh) the new sword is. He definitely threw that fight to test his hunch.

5. Murphy’s inability to handle being flirted on with a red-headed warrior woman. Sooooo funny. I mean, Murphy could have said a number of things such as ‘I’m exclusive.’ or ‘I’m not interested in women.’ But she just floundered. Heh heh.

6. I continue to find it completely hilarious that Lara, a couple of centuries old vampire, seems to keep learning a lot of power moves from Marcone.

Such as: having trained fighters that are NOT food, well… mostly. Having those mines installed in the walls. And now hiring a Valkerie of her very own.

I keep thinking, yeah, there’s no way she’d win in a fight against Marcone because there’ s no way that Marcone has let slip all of his tricks.

Things I Really, Really Liked:

1. Marcone. Everything Marcone. *heart-eyes*

And then he proves why he’s so damned scary by standing up to the Titan. Then to the ghouls. Then after proving his bad-ass quotient if off the charts he gets everyone organized to fight.

Yeeessss… It proves to me that when it comes to protecting Chicago he is actually the best person after Harry. Hell, in some ways he’s better than Harry. Now, I’m not saying he’s a white knight or anything like that. Just that he has the intelligence, the ruthlessness, the will, the power and the men to provide the most protection to the city’s mortal denizens. At least when there’s a war raging with multiple enemies who will be attacking at various points.

And oh, I can’t wait to see how he’s going to get revenge for the death of his people. Omg, he’s going to kill the Formor so hard. *goes starry eyed thinking about more Marcone*

But why did he have to appear so late in the book?! *wails in a heart-rending fashion*

There better be a ton more Marcone in the next book! *makes desperate gimme gimme hands*

No, I don’t have a Marcone addiction… I can stop anytime I want to. *sneaks off to mainline some “Even Hand” straight into the brain*

2. The return of Goodman Grey! Oh, I hope he’s around a lot! I’ve really grown to like him.

<b>Things Which Blew My Mind or Were Just Freaking Awesome: </b>

1. Dad!Harry is actually the most amazing Harry. Forget the magic flinging and the fire storms… this is the best Harry.

Just the way he takes care of his kids…. *turns to mush like ectoplasm*

2. Murphy and Harry are finally together! Yay! Yay! Hip hip hooray!

Now, I’m a rather shameless Marcone/Dresden fic writer, but as I never ever expect this to be canon I’m content to write it as fanfic for my own sense of delight. However when it comes to canon I’m full on board with the Karrin and Harry relationship. Be it friendship or romantic, I think its great.

3. Marcone… that is all.

Random Speculation

1. I find myself wondering about Ebenezer’s rage against vampires. And my brain muttered this theory: Maybe Harry’s grandmother was killed by White Court vampires.

Whoa.

It would explain the vitrolic rage.

And if Lara was involved it would also explain her flash of shame.

We don’t know anything about Harry’s grandmother, not even her name. So… that’s a thought.

2. River Shoulders teaching Harry.

Oh man, oh man, I hope Harry learns shape-shifting.

And thinking about it I had to wonder if the animal-shifting had anything to do with knowing the animal in question which of course made me think…

Harry should learn to shape-shift into a T-Rex.

He already knows how one is put together and the mind of one. And he knows that it’s possible to add extra mass to a shift from the Nevernever in the form of ectoplasm… so

Harrysarous Rex, baby…. I may have to write a fic with this premise.

3. Oh, if it’s possible to make a ectoplasmic body can Harry learn to make one for Bonea? After all Maggie would probably really enjoy getting to play with her little sister that way. Even if Harry can’t do it all the time and it wouldn’t last longer than a day. That would be delightful.

4. Okay, not this is more head-canon than speculation but… considering how hard Harry has been made to be analogous to Merlin I can’t help but wonder if Marcone is suppose to be Arthur’s analogue. So wielding Amorrachius *coughs*Excalibur*coughs* would make sense.

…it’s not just my Marcone-love talking dammit.

Speaking of Merlin, I’m convinced that he’s behind this whole ‘starborn’ thing. Seriously, otherwise its way too convenient that a wizard with that power is born every 666 years. It smacks of a spell.

And if that’s the case it also feeds into my pet theory that the whole reason we have Outsides at the Gates is because Merlin was the schmuck who drew them to our reality in the first place. And everything surrounding the war with the Outsiders are his attempts to try to fix what he broke.

*lost in pondering thoughts*

Things I Have Questions About

1. Did Harry forget he has The Ways Map from his mother? I would have thought he would have figured out a way (heh) to get to the island somehow. He was on it for so long I thought for sure he’d spend time exploring it. Also we knew from ‘Skin Game’ that even tiny factors can change where the Way goes in the Nevernever. I doubt the ENTIRE island has Ways that lead to a bad place. Especially for Harry now that he’s the Warden.

2. Also why didn’t Harry get Lea to help him? After all unless she’s moved it since ‘Changes’ her garden is still on the other side of the sub-basement.

3. What did Lara use that first favor from Mab on? *eyes her suspiciously*

4. Where are the Za Lord’s Guard? *wondering about what been happening with Lacuna and Toot-toot*

5. If Harry gets kicked out of the White Council (good riddance, since they haven’t exactly been all that helpful lately) can he get enough signatures to be added as a member of the Accords in his own right? After all being Warden of Demonreach has got to mean a lot to the older members.

Then he wouldn’t be reliant on Mab’s protection.

I can’t help but hope this proves to be the case, especially if in ‘Battle Ground’ Harry ends up taking down that Titan. Because he needs as much protection and influence he can gather if he’s no longer White Council to protect himself, his people and his kids. Especially if he eventually gets rid of that Winter Knight mantle like I hope he does.

6. How in the hell (pardon the pun) did evil demon Sasquatch survive being turned to mush by Hade’s Ice Gate? Or the shades that were part of the security system that almost got Harry?

*frowns* The only reason I can think of would be the coin of Ursiel being the factor. I doubt a Fallen Angel is allowed to stick around in the Greek realm of the afterlife.

7. WHERE IS BOB?! Seriously, if Butters doesn’t give him back...

#peace talk spoilers #the dresden files #john marcone #full of speculation #can't wait for more #harry blackstone copperfield dresden #karrin murphy #spoilers #the dresden files spoilers

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grifalinas · 4 years

Text

I literally get into this funk every year around this time and for years I’ve been blaming RWBY (derogatory) hiatus because, hey, it’s natural to hit a funk when something you’re really invested in is no longer available! Last year I hit this funk in December, when it became apparent that cRWBY (derogatory) had gotten so bad at show vs tell that they were showing and telling two entirely different stories, and the bad one was the one that was taking over.

And then I kind of just... got stuck. While I have definitely been fannish over things, that RWBY hyperfixation (derogatory) was the last time I had a real, hardcore hyperfixation. All of my real intense hyperfixes since then have been RWBY related (Hallmarks, DTLS, the Santa au that I need to finish) as I pendulum wildly between moods about the source, and everything else I’ve tried to hyperfix on in the past year has fizzled almost immediately. Even my own work doesn’t excite me as much as it should, at least not for long.

It’s easy to blame this on RWBY- if cRWBY hadn’t shit the bed with their writing, I could have been excited about the new season and probably gotten to enjoy it with my buds this year like every year since volume three.

But it’s not just cause of that. Part of it is that I resolved, apparently more seriously than I realized, to only engage with new media if it has an mlm lead. (Media I was already into was exempt, and I did loosen this up somewhat for background watching that I was not intended to become invested in, because I do need to actually engage with stories on some level.)

I actually did encounter some media with mlm leads in the past year, but all of it was disappointing on some level- TAZ, which had been suggested to me for years on the premise of having a fat, gay wizard who dates the Grim Reaper, turned out to not only take forever to establish that fact at all, it barely had an impact on the story until the last act, Justin got to bury any exploration of Taako’s sexuality under Taako’s unwillingness to air his business, and every instance of the guy who made him describing Taako’s figure made it pretty clear that he envisioned Taako as thin. Don’t mistake this as me not liking Taako, or dissing Justin- there are other factors involved that I recognize, and don’t hold against him. But that doesn’t change that the resulting product was still what it was, and definitely not what I had been promised. And that’s just one example.

(For the record, this is a big reason I refuse to watch Kipo right now. There’s other reasons, but “you guys keep recommending me things that are a huge disappointment” is one of them. No offense.)

I also have a friend who keeps recommending my AP’s with mlm leads, which is great, but my brain shut down on engaging with AP’s after all of that nonsense with c*r, and the one that I did try to engage with, the mlm character I was promised was... again, not what I was promised. (The end of season one also had a pair the spares hetfest with the parents, which also put me off of season two, which I was assured was when the character did become what I was promised.)

I also found some gay romance novels, which was nice, but I also noticed as I began to look for them that they were all written by female authors, with a female gaze in mind, and that just got depressing.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I actually have no problem with m/m fiction being written by and for female audiences. The issue is that when you’re a gay man and your only option for stories about gay men are written by and for the consumption of women, instead of feeling good, you just kinda start to feel sad. When characters like you are always shunted to being side characters, it stings. It’s not fair. It hurts. And when they are main characters, it’s always for either mainstream hetero or female gaze consumption, and that’s not fun either.

(I have my theories about why this is the situation, but I’m not going into it here on Tumble. Also, if anyone tries to fucking derail this point with any other group that faces this issue you’re getting blocked. I am aware that mlm are not the only ones who experience this, but this is the group I belong to and am currently talking about.)

Of course, there’s also the fact that when I do find mlm content with mlm as the target audience, there’s also a measure of... hmm... how should I put this? The distinct feeling that the men in question would call me a slur in Taco Bell.

Now, this past year has been a nightmare hellscape for a lot of reasons, and a definite factor in my failure to hyperfixate properly also ties into world events, as well as the fact that I quit my job last year and my current job situation is bleak (only working one or two days a week for the foreseeable future). Aaaaaand there’s some homelife stuff going on that, again, I’m not getting into on the Tumbles. Just suffice it to say that there’s a lot that I’m not talking about, and the reason I’m talking about the parts I am talking about so much is that I don’t actually like sharing personal life stuff on a website where the community as a whole has made it repeatedly clear that they don’t consider posters to actually have any ownership over their posts, and where a post or comment can still haunt you years later because no one knows how to just let things die.

So, yeah. The funk that I’m currently in is pretty typical and literally hits every year around this time, but it’s hitting harder this year because it’s building onto a funk that I never quite left behind the last time.

Anyway. Sorry I’ve been so checked out lately. I hope y’all still like me even while I’m boring.

#long post #idk what this is i'm just tired #i'm gonna go back to being a rock now #a rock doesn't care about engaging with stories a rock just sits there growing moss #mushrooms if it's lucky

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browniesnivy · 3 years

Note

hiii brownie idk enough abt yugioh but *insert one of ur yugioh faves* and umm maybe franziska for that character ask game :]

Franziska Von Karma

How I feel about this character- FRANZISKA LITERALLY SO AMAZING...I love how she’s introduced as just as terrifying and cruel as her father, but then you see that she really does care about helping other people throughout her determination to avenge Edgeworth and to help Phoenix save Maya in Farewell My Turnabout despite taking a bullet to the shoulder (such a good parallel with her father on its own!)... and then with the scene at the airport she’s is allowed to be emotionally vulnerable without being any less of a competent prodigy of law! She’s just... so fucking cool I LOVE HER!

All the people I ship romantically with this character- Maya Fey! I love the contrast between both of their personalities making them seem like total opposites, but when you look at their connection to a family legacy it becomes obvious they have a lot in common. I wish the games had expanded on their dynamic more, but unfortunately lesbians are oppressed :(

My non-romantic OTP for this character- VON KARMA SIBLINGS... Mieke I know you agree with me on this! They grew up with the same terrible expectation that come with being a prodigy, and so they’re really the only ones who’s can comfort and understand each other... they obviously both feel such an obligation to protect each other and it makes me so CRAZY UGH. BROTHER AND SISTER!

My unpopular opinion about this character- I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion but I wish she’d kept the shorter hair design from the concept art where her hair is slicked forward to contrast with her father’s slicked back hair, not only because I’m a lesbian and that hairstyle was SO GAY but because I think it could have highlighted or even foreshadowed how she differs from Manfred. Maybe since she hasn’t been able to abandon his influences by Justice for All it wouldn’t make since for her to have such a “wild” hairstyle, but I think that if she returns it would be amazing to see her with that hairstyle to represent how she’s moved on after a decade.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon- SHOW HER DENOUNCING MANFRED VON KARMA FOR REAL. I can understand that it would take time for her to fully accept that her father was not as admirable as she’d been least to believe, but by this point in the timeline I think it’s time for that aspect of her character arc to be resolved. The natural conclusion of her development requires her experiencing the same acceptance of defeat as her brother, so I really hope that if they bring Franziska back at some point she’ll be allowed to admit that her father was awful and that victory isn’t an indication of worth.

Rex Raptor

How I feel about this character- HE IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN ANY PIECE OF MEDIA EVER. I know that he isn’t meant to be a deep character at all and he isn’t given much narrative focus at all but he is just SO DAMN ENDEARING TO ME OKAY. I have an unhealthy obsession with how he is initially introduced as being crass and inconsiderate while Weevil is more polite and strategic, but then it turns out Weevil is a total asshole while Rex is just... a kid who likes dinosaurs and duels for fun? Like even though he’s a total dumbass (the best character trait) who can be a bit rude (not even mean-spirited if we’re being totally honest, like most of his remarks are just him being snarky), the manga describes him as “having to the spirit of a true duelist” and he never really seems as bitter about losing as his counterpart Weevil (except in the Season 4 filler arc, which although I adore for giving me so much more Rex content, makes a lot mistakes by characterizing him as basically interchangeable with Weevil... BUT that’s ANOTHER STORY for ANOTHER DAY). I mean he has more justifiable reasons to be upset than Weevil given how he was LITERALLY cheated out of the Battle City tournaments by Espa (which Mokuba the official rule enforcer LETS THEM GET AWAY WITH and then doesn’t do ANYTHING to compensate Rex), and he STILL tries to warn Joey to stay away from trouble despite him being the guy he supposedly dislikes because he took his best card, totally disgracing him and ruining his entire career. I could keep going but this paragraph isn’t probably already sickeningly long and I still need to be able to make posts about him in the future, so in a nutshell... he seems like a funny and good kid. OH AND WHEN MAI ASKED HIM THE “what can you see but cannot see” RIDDLE AND HE ANSWERED TAKOYAKI BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE THE DOUGH ON THE OUTSIDE BUT NOT THE OCTOPUS ON THE INSIDE? LITERAL CUTEST SHIT EVER KING OF COMEDY I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. Ahem. Sorry.

All the people I ship romantically with this character- Weevil Underwood. They’re both teenagers who got famous, let it get to their heads, and then lost everything... considering that they seem like the types of kids who would be bullied relentlessly (they're already constantly being made fun of by mostly of the character anyway), I think the fact that they end up befriending each other is a good sign that they can find some comfort in each other and discover other things to be fulfilled by beside card games. I love how even though this friendship is framed as a begrudging alliance between two self-servings jerks half of the time, the other half of the time it’s about best friends starting a shit together for petty reasons and always being by each other’s side no matter what. The way that they tease each other constantly but then always stand up for one another when others pick on them... it’s so obvious that they actually really care about one another! I just love their dynamic so much it’s unreal, hence the blog.

My non-romantic OTP for this character- Although I primarily think about his relationship with Weevil, there is still a lot of potential to be explored with other characters! Mako is another minor character obsessed with a type of animal, but where’s he differs from Rex and ESPECIALLY Weevil is his sportsmanship, being able to become friends with Yugi and Joey even after being defeated by them. I think that difference mostly comes down to Mako being significantly older than Red and Weevil and therefore having more perspective on gaming fame, so I feel like he would be a great influence on them. On Rex specifically, I think Season 4 missed a big opportunity to expand on Rex and Mai’s relationship. Mai had been a major contributor to Rex losing in Duelist Kingdom, but now they both feel like washed-up failures. I think given the circumstances they could have comeback to an understanding, maybe even have Mai apologize for throwing him under the bus to screw with Joey? I think showing Rex that not everyone who has wronged him in the past had/still has bad intentions would be really good addition to his character arc in Season 4. Then of course there is Joey... to me, the main difference between Rex and Joey is that Joey is stupidly lucky while Rex never seems to catch a break. Otherwise they’re both recklessness dumbasses who prioritize brawn over brain, but Joey is nevertheless able to triumph through sheer dumb luck while Rex gets anihilated over and over with basically the same strategy (minus the RNG cards, Joey’s strategy is just big monsters after all). While the previously mentions she relationships were hypothetical, this dynamic between Joey and Rex is actually given some focus in canon, and I found it very compelling! I only wish this difference between them hadn't only been used to increase Joey’s confidence in his skills as a duelist (which I will remind you is mostly LUCK, no offense to Joey because I do love him BUT I MEAN... only being able to beat Rex because of a lucky Time Wizard isn’t peak strategy ), but to develop Rex’s character somehow as well.

My unpopular opinion about this character- JUST LIKING THIS CHARACTER IS AN UNPOPULAR OPINION MAN... tons of people hate him so much! I know he isn’t an important character at all but he isn’t nearly as much of a jerk as people make him out to be, and I mean even if he was he’s just a kid! I won’t pretend that he is always portrayed favorably by the narrative, but the fact that some people feel nothing but disdain for a child whose accomplishments were robbed from him by forces outside of his control and who received no sympathy for it, causing his self-worth to deteriorate... it’s a bit concerning to me that so many adults in particular are so disgusted by that.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon- I’ve talked QUITE a lot already about things that I wish had happened to develop his character more, but above all else I wish his character arc in Season 4 had been given a proper conclusion. The writers set up this interesting conflict where the insignificant minor characters are upset that they aren’t allowed to be successful when the more important characters aren’t involved and shows the consequences that their defeat had on their lives and self-image... BUT THEN AFTER THEY’RE DEFEATED THEY ARE FORGOTTEN ABOUT FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON UNTIL THEY WAKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL AND INSTANTLY REVERT BACK TO BEING COMIC RELIEF GRRR GRRRRRRRR! There wasn’t no resolution to this arc AT ALL and it drives me UP THE GODDAMN WALL because it absolutely captivated me in concept... but like with many things in Yu-Gi-Oh! the execution was totally ruined :(

#I hope you don’t regret asking about Yugioh ive been known to get... quite passionate lol #Wake up babe new Brownie rant dropped 😅#Thanks for the ask bestie!

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ofmythsandmadness · 5 years

Text

i need a favour - four.

PART FOUR - and so, the truth starts to come out (just a little). or, someone starts to realise that what she’s feeling is a little more than just nerves about this fake relationship - that she might be a bit more invested than she ever would have thought.

WORD COUNT - 2819. A/N - This is a mess of a chapter, sorry folks. I’m not great at this. My gay ass is really just trying to make this work for y’all and truly, it shows. If you want to be added to the taglist, just ask and let me know. As well, if I missed you, just shoot a heads up.

SHE EAGERLY ACCEPTED THE CUP, only to hissing and hurry to place it down. However, she waved off Vanya’s immediate ‘I’m sorry’s’ with a sheepish grin. “It’s fine, I’m good. See?” She waved her slightly reddened fingers to prove her point - which the girl did not really buy, but at least seemed somewhat mollified.

After daring to test another sip - and regretting it immediately after - Y/N turned her attention back to the other woman, sitting across from her. They were around the same height, and yet every time Vanya always looked so much smaller, like a child in an adult’s body who’s too lost in this cruel world to properly function yet.

Far too apt for a vague thought, she bitterly rebutted herself.

“Sorry for stopping by like this,” she started, readjusting herself against the couch cushions. “I just wanted to pass on my well wishes and I saw the posters for the orchestra, figured I should pass on the good will in person.”

Vanya smiled softly. “It’s no problem. And thanks, yeah...yeah, the kids have been working hard.”

By the kids, she meant a small collection of junior students who she had begun to teach after the apocalypse situation. She still nursed a myriad of trauma around performing herself, but she had been encouraged (by both Y/N and her therapist, as well as her siblings when they were about) to not give up on something she loved. And so, she took up teaching again, but went about it with the hopes of creating a mini group of performers of her own. Y/N could tell it was not the same as performing herself, but at least it was something. As she worked on both herself and her strange abilities, it would be enough.

“I hope I can still crash the party? I don’t know much about classical music, but I have gotten quite good at pretending like I know more than I do. Diego’s nonsense helps with that.”

The other girl’s smile bloomed a little, at that. “Is he playing plus one to that, too?”

“Huh - oh, yeah, well...I don’t know,” she stuttered, stumbling over every word like it was from a whole new language. “Haven’t asked, but you know, no matter what the guy says he likes kids. Maybe he can uh, put...put the knives away for the night. Or something.”

“He doesn’t have to-”

“-no, of course he’d-”

“-it’s not his scene, and he’s a busy guy,” Vanya rushed, “you don’t have to feel bad. It was just a joke.”

Normally, Y/N would know that. In fact, she would be so quick to catch any joyful points in their conversations that she would overplay her reactions, laugh a bit too hard and like, slap her knee or something stupid like that. But that time, the reference had gone right over her head and then slapped her right in the back, enough to make her fall over and collapse. She was doing her best to get up and rebuild that hole in her wall again, but it was difficult and she could feel herself coming undone by every passing second.

As if sensing her panic - or maybe just seeing it as it was displayed on her face - Vanya moved forward and gently touched her hand. “I didn’t mean to start anything, or - or say something wrong.”

“Oh. No. NO, you did nothing wrong.”

“But-”

“-sorry, I just lost my train of thought and along with it went my brain, I guess.” Y/N was back to smiling, but it was fake as shit and both of them knew it. “What were we talking about?”

“Hey...is ev-what’s wrong, Y/N?”

She knew Vanya was only trying to be nice - and genuinely nice, as sign by her changing the bland ‘are you okay’ to a real question. She also knew that she had dug herself into a really, really deep hole and it was going to take a whole shit tonne of climbing to get out of it. And this time, she was not sure a smack on the lips was going to solve the issue.

“Would you believe me if I say I’m all good?” Y/N tried weakly, only to sign and slump into the couch when her head shook no. “Alright. Uh...you got anything stronger than coffee? This is a douzy.”

“I think I can handle it. Considering...everything.”

She laughed bitterly from between her friend’s couch cushions, then attempting to smother herself between them. It did not work, but it was nice to hide her face for a quick moment. “This might just be more surprising then everything else, Vannie...believe me.”

Vanya came back quickly with the glasses, and Y/N hesitated none to gulp the drink down regardless of the burn. After that, she struggled through the entire story, the ups and downs and even the stupid little anecdotes shared between her and Diego just to make it seem a bit funnier than it was - like it was just a fun game and not her love life being through around and about like nuts. But honestly recounting it back just made it sound even more dismal and humiliating and plain-out weirder. More than it already was to her.

Vanya was silent throughout it all, simply nodding along and letting her speak without pause. She supposed that was a good thing, she was grateful there was no need to stop - mostly because if she did, she might just never speak again.

Y/N finished it off with a sigh and a wry smile, raising her glass to her lips in an attempt to get the last drops out, sans manners and any grace. “That’s that,” she grumbled. “That’s...that’s that.”

And all Vanya said to that, was a quiet, monotone, rather emotionless, “oh.”

Y/N blinked, surprised. “Oh? That’s it?”

“Well - I don’t - I don’t know what to say.”

“Oh.”

“It’s just unexpected,” she offered up. When the only response was a quirk of her eyebrows, Vanya moved to explain. “I just thought...you two really had just gone for it. Like we had always teased you two about.”

Her cheeks bloomed with colour, forcing Y/N to duck her head and hide the flush. Not that it did much good, the splotchy red was much too eager to show her embarrassment then appease her. “No. ‘Fraid not. We’re just friends...who are now pretending to be sleeping with each other.”

“But why?”

She shrugged haplessly. “He wanted a break from everyone dogging him about being single, I guess...and I didn’t have anything better to do. I figure do ‘im a favour, he does one back, we’re even - except I didn’t really think it’d be this...big.” As in, she did not imagine kissing him. In front of his entire family, sans Five and their dear old dead daddy.

And also, actually fucking enjoying it.

“And technically, we’re not supposed to say a word to anyone, it’s on the list - but man, I just, I just need to talk to someone about this.” She gratefully accepted the second drink, swallowing it down in three hearty gulps. “I feel like I’m drowning.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

She shook her head. “Don’t be. I mean, I agreed to this, right? And it’s my fault for thinking this could be a walk in the park. I just thought...I don’t know what I thought. I guess I didn’t.”

Vanya smiled a little at that, and finally moved, walking around her coffee table to take a seat beside Y/N. She took the other’s hand in hers, squeezing ever so lightly. “It’ll be okay. It’s only a couple months, right?”

“I guess, but I feel like I’m already screwing it all up. I mean, it’s been like a week and a half? And I’ve already made a fool in front of everyone, and kissed him - and then blurted out the secret to someone! I mean, I might as well propose to him and then tell him our entire friendship is a lie, too!”

Despite herself, Vanya grinned, finding the humour in Y/N’s words, despite the panic on her face. She squeezed her hand a little tighter. “You’ll be okay.”

“How do you know that, though?”

“Because,” she replied slowly, “you told someone, but just one. And I’m not going to say a word to him. Okay?”

“Okay…”

“...and you didn’t make a fool out of yourself, really. You guys were cute. And everyone believed it, mostly because they’ve all secretly wanted you two to get together for years. I mean, since the moment they first heard your name leave Diego’s lips, Allison was making wedding invitations and Klaus was coming up with the worst moments to drop hints about you. I’m surprised you never caught them,” Vanya finished, lip curling a little at the memories.

Y/N knew enough about the siblings’ thoughts about her and Diego. It was unavoidable and for the most part she was fine with them conspiring. It was only when the mention of Diego came up, when one of them said something alluding to the fact that maybe he talked about her a little more than mere friends...that maybe there was a whole lot she did not know about.

Just as she was going to ask Vanya what she was referring to, the other girl cut her off. “And the kiss, like you said it was nothing. You had to do it, and it didn’t mean anything. So you’re still okay.”

And at that, she felt all the blood that had flooded her face drain right out, leaving her pale and panicked next to her close friend. And just like before, there was no hiding her expression or the plain out anxiety attack raging underneath her skin.

It did not take a wizard, to figure out what had caused it.

“Oh, Y/N-”

“-I don’t know, it just-”

“-Y/N...”

Y/N slumped back and covered her face with the cushion, groaning loudly into the fabric. “Shit.”

WHEN HE CAME BY THAT NIGHT, she was cold.

Polite, and caring as always - but cold in her actions, in her few-word replies, in the way she shied away from any near-touch possibly laid upon her skin.

It was not intentional, at least not at the start. She was a mess most of the afternoon and early evening, but then as the sun fell and the hours crept away faster and faster, she felt herself close off. Even from herself. Like she had rebuilt that wall but it had been built too high and too close, so everything was left out of her heart. Not enough so it could not hurt, not so she could not feel waves of guilt every time she did something stand-offish - but enough to make it continue.

She knew he felt it too, but neither said a thing on it. For that, she was grateful. It was easier to move in silence then have to stop and think about the storm in her head. Mostly? Because if she did let her guard down maybe even a second, she might collapse entirely. And no one could have that.

“Here. Take these.”

His only response was a grunt and a nod, fingers barely brushing hers to take the small pills. She pushed back her worries and maintained the same blank expression, watching as he dry-swallowed the Advil. When he was done, she pushed off the coffee table.

“Need anything else?”

“No.”

“Okay. Shower, there’s some of your shit in the dryer now you can change into. Come in when you’re done.”

“I’ll just-”

“-you’re not goin’ anywhere,” she barked. For a moment, she softened, considering a sweeter tone and more reason than shouting orders. But quickly that idea shrivelled up. “It’s late. You need rest. You’re already here anyways.”

“I’m not-”

“-Diego, please.”

He finally left the couch. She heard him moving behind her, but dared not turn to look his way. Instead, her eyes remained train forward, frozen on the window he had come through Watching, tracing the frame, paralysed in replaying all the instances in which she had stood there before.

“What did I do?”

Her eyes clenched shut, squeezing with all her might; gone was the window, replaced only by darkness. “Nothing. I’m just tired.” A slight pause, then: “sorry.”

“There’s more than that, isn’t there?” Slow, stumbling steps in the shallow dark walked her way. They remained a distance away - and yet she felt like he was right there. “I did something.”

“No.”

“Bullshit. You’re upset - at me.” There was bitter humour in his voice then. “I’ve known you too long to believe any of your lies.”

When Y/N opened her eyes again, they watered and struggled to even make out the shadows, finding the night still pressing into her skull. Digging its claws in, trying to wrench out all her fears and emotions and the shit she had buried deep deep deep within. Offer up her heart on a silver platter and leave her dead in the process.

She smiled ever so slightly. In the words of Cher fucking Horowitz, ‘as if’. No weepy confessions to be made that night.

Instead, she turned and made her lips turn up more, into a more believable grin. “I’m sorry. It’s been - it’s been a long week, feels like everything’s hitting me. I didn’t mean to take that out on you.”

“I-I know-”

“-it’s okay,” she murmured, voice hitching at his slight stutter. “It’s fine. Seriously, Diego, I just need to sleep this off. And uh, so do you.”

Diego sighed, hesitating as he thought over his words before pushing forward. “Why do you put up with me, do all this?”

“I’m not doing much.”

“You should be sleeping.”

“Sleep is overrated, you and I both know that.”

“Come on.”

“I’m being serious!”

“You’re exhausted, Y/N.”

She shrugged lightly. “Maybe. But I’d rather sacrifice an hour or two if - if it means I know you’re alright.”

Those words not the words that she had originally planned on saying. But they came out anyways, and hung heavily in the air, a wall of tension that left both sides unsure of what came next.

Before he could try and pry, ask about those softly spoken words, about the way her voice cracked a little at the end, she spoke. “I’m your girlfriend, Diego, can you blame me for caring about you getting home safe or not? I mean, I can’t have the love of my life dead in a fuckin’ alley somewhere.”

At that, she just smiled and turned, hurrying off to her room. She heard him speak, but it was too soft to pick up, and so she discarded it with the rest of the conversation. Just let herself sink into the blankets once more and shut her eyes, begging for sleep even when her brain was more awake than ever. Like she could sleep, after this. She never did.

Y/N listened instead as he moved around, shuffling into the bathroom and starting up the shower. He was brief, only a few moments before the water turned off and he was back to quietly rustling around. Soon enough, maybe ten minutes or so and he was in the doorway of her bedroom.

She shut her eyes and pretended to be already asleep, just as she always did. Let him feel safe within the darkness, moving to the other side and slipping under the covers. He laid still and at the edge, as always, still as anything so as not to overstep any boundaries. Sometimes, she smiled at that - other times, she longed for him to roll over and move close to her, put his arms around her and-

-with a start, Y/N realised that the silence had been broken by him. He had sighed, followed by a soft sniffle. She dared not move even a muscle, frozen against her pillow as Diego groaned once more and adjusted his pillow.

And just when she thought it was over, he spoke. Just three words, soft as a breath. If it were not for the heavy silence, she would not have caught it, but he might as well had shouted it in that instant.

“You fucking idiot.”

Y/N dared to breathe, soft and slow, attempting to play asleep. But even if she wasn’t pulling it off, she was not sure if he even heard, so wrapped up in his own thoughts.

Not for the first time, she longed to roll over and touch him, reassure him she was there with him. Ask what was on his mind, and if their thoughts paralleled in any way or form. But like always, they remained on opposite ends, too eager to maintain a friendship to overstep. She remained still and staring out into the darkness, listening to her exhales matching with his own shallow breaths.

Neither of them would sleep much, that night.

TAGLIST - @asexualmarauder @thatshellfiredean @the-bird-suit @rangotangomango @fandomsandmore394 @thatkidofwarandpeace @antoouu @soul-of-a-traveller @yall-wildin-like-siriusly @artsyle

#i need a favour series #diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves au #diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves imagine #diego hargreeves oneshot #tua x reader

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Jingle Belle: A Very Special Jingle Belle Special or A goofy holiday comic and a long tired rant about the animation industry

Ho ho ho and merry Christmas as we reach the final stretch of Christmas reviews and it’s all Christmas all the time for the rest of the week for obvious reasons. So we’re starting off by wrapping up Jingle Belle for the season with one more comission. While it’s from my usual client, It’s via patreon as for 5 bucks a month you can get a review a month of your choice. But since that hasn’t taken hold just yet, and won’t till next month, he asked to swap it for this month and here we are. Not much to cover though this is the very comic where Jing hopped publishers from Oni Press to Dark Horse. The whys I genuinely do not know and at the time, I just know it’s weird to talk about Dark Horse these days. Their not dead nor entirely irrelvant, Resident Alien, which I really want to check out as it has a really engaging premise, is getting a tv show that I also want to check out as while i’m not sure if it’ll be good, it’s still Alan Tudyk playing an alien who can barely pass for human and it hilariously shows. Whenever that streams i’m not missing a second of that and we all know it. And Umbrella Academy, started during bigger days for the company, is one of netflix’s hottest shows and one of many shows on my to do list I haven’t gotten to because I procastinate like no one else and as taking an entire month to get to the newest loud house shows to the point another one popped up, it bites me in the ass a lot. Point is their not GONE in relevance.. but at the same time they’ve lost the huge tide of liscences they road in on. Except for the Joss Whedon stuff, Marvel’s pretty much taken EVERYTHING from them via various deals: Star Wars, Conan and now Alien. Their still standing and makes good art books and clearly given Resident Alien good content, they’ve lasted this long their not going anywhere, it’s just really weird to think about. I will however give them huge credit for giving out tons of comics in early quarantine, and being easily the most generous company next to marvel. I.e. one of the few that actually gave out full collections.

But yeah at the time this was probably a safe move as Dark Horse had a love of one shots and likely a larger budget. Hence why from here on out the stories are in living color, and have a slightly diffrent art style to boot. Granted the character would shift artists but now it’s got a clear more cartoony art style I like a lot better courtsey of Jose Garabaldi. So yeah with christmas on our heels, let’s ring a ding jing, it’s A Very Special Jingle Belle Special.

We won’t be covering the backup for this one though it is quite good, it’s just not what kev asked or paid for.

We open on a parade!

While batman foils the joker’s poisioning scheme, Santa rides on a float proudly and Jing is hanging out on the back grumpy. It’s a great introduction for new readers showing Santa being big and jolly and what you expect while Jing grumps in the back with a “Sheesh, Daddy”. That’s how you establish a character well in only a few panels. IT’s really great is what i’m saying. Some teens pop up but don’t belivie her about being Santa’s daughter and when going to a christmas shop to try and find figures of her, the owner claims he dosen’t.. and well violence insues. You’ve met jing right? Anyways Jing is understandably a wee bit absolutely livid the world dosen’t know about her. Her parents sure but her? Nope. And it’s easy to see why: She’s the daughter of the world’s most famous man.. but despite all the holiday lore and junk she’s just the part he likes to hide from people.. or that’s how it feels. While he ducks it, she even gives him a nice save fatty it’s clear that even if she brought it up to rile him a bit.. she does feel on some level like he likes to tuck her away and hide her because he’s ashamed and because she’s not perfect. Granted she does act out and stuff, but she’s still his kid and i’ts still gotta sting. Though she has the perfect idea to fix this: A christmas special. Santa suggests just doing good deeds but Jing is right: her idea is better. Mostly because, as cyncial as this is.. more people are going to pay attention to a good holiday special than a celebrity’s kid doing charity and for far longer. A good christmas special just sticks in the brain and sticks with you forever. It’s why Santa Claus is Coming to Town and A Charlie Brown Christmas have lasted decades or why my list of best chirstmas specials is pretty weighty. They just stick with you so while this can’t possibly end well.. her plan is actually a really good one this time.

So Jing takes her friends off the line to help her animate it, stop motion styles and they remind her of her LAST christmas special.

I mean I’m a sucker for any refrence to Star Wars Holiday Special. You’d think after several decades of jokes at it’s expense, with tons of youtubers, many of whom are dead to me but that’s besides the point, tackling the thing without it getting stale, that we’d eventually grow tired of mocking it but .. no. It’s a bottomless well of what they were thinking. The only question left is why isn’t it on Disney Plus.. I mean.. you made a second one as an affectionate parody and in lego. Kids are going to know about this now. Just put the thing up. Even edited down or just some clips. You put Rise of Skywalker up there, you’ve proven your threshold for shame when it comes to this franchise is vast. Just person up and do it. But Jing’s learned her lesson.. stop motion only and to follow the bouncing formula to sucess. So in the special which sadly isn’t all stop motion and is just drawn to resemble the specials, probably for the best but still, Jing and her animal pals are sneaking into a town where christmas was banned! Meeting the chirstmas legion of doom.. well okay that’s what i’m calling them. Burgermeister Budweiser! Bungle the Abominable Snow Monster! Frost Master and Heat BLister! The Frost Fakir.. wait the what?

........

I mean where do I even begin? I know this was during the war on terror, I know that.. but still I expect better from Paul Dini for a crosses the line twice joke than “hey let’s just make bin laden into an ice wizard!”. I mean South Park made fun of him too, but they went all out with a looney tunes homage. Put effort in. And even years after he died the lonely island did this beautiful thing in the film pop star: never stop stoppin, which you should watch seriously watch it it’s underated.

youtube

Point is you can do better and if you don’t have room to do better then just.. don’t. You could’ve put in a t-rex in a top hat and monocle. That would’ve genuinely been better... because it’s better than everything ever btu that’s besides the point. There’s also one last addition to the rogue’s gallery thank god.

He hates her too. Now that gag is actually reallyf ucking funny. What’s also funny is how she solves things. By singing a nice and frinedly song about friendship to reform the villians.. or rather lure them over a bridge to get eaten by her orca friend.

So Jing after showing it to her dad heads to market it with him trying to warn her netoworks haven’t aired this kind of thing in years. But she faces the greatest threat to all of television: network executives, who keep offering advices and basically change the thing all together for stupid reasons and think cartoons should only be for kids despite it wokring in the past. Aka the hells animators STILL go through. I think Paul was projecting just a wee bit with this one. Given again IT HASN’T CHANGED since then, I can’t blame him. Seriously Harvey Beaks was canceled, among MANY ohter nick shows including rise of the tmnt just because it wasn’t an instant hit, Cartoon Network and warner keep trying to make dumbed down remakes of great shows, and Disney, among other networks, is fairly homophobic and while finally allowing some gay on the network this year had to be fought and outright refused it on ducktales for no adquate reason, caring more about monney and the bible belt than doing the right thing. So yeah as you can tell this bit got to me a bit and was hard to read because it. hasn’t. changed. 16 years and not a lot has changed other than more women are getting a chance. And granted the “kids are our only audiencce argument” isn’t as strong and several shows are powered by other demographics it’s still an issue and still the reason several good shows have gotten the boot and why the jeph loeb era of marvel animation was terrible. Because guys like him thought it should JUST be for kids and the lowest common demoninator of htem. You can be clever and be for kids dammit.

I apologize slightly for that it’s just something that’s been on my mind as shows dwindle and with ducktales gone the standard forbearaers for children’s animation are all pretty fresh faced. It’s just a lot to take in and i’ts been on my mind a lot.

Back to the actual story the result is a pretty purtrid cutesy special.. Jing reacts how you’d expect, destroying the tapes covertly with a herd of musk ox and destroying the tape. But they find the 70′s special and we end on that which is pretty funny. The only thing I really don’t like here is the ending. The rest of this special is really good: it’s clever , has some good satire and some really funny jokes especially that hook one. The ending just feels a bit weak.. like yes Jing wanted to be noticed but it’s not really an unsympathetic motive and while she does some shady stuff the villians still basically win by airing her terrible holiday special all over again. It’s just not satisfying. But yeah overall another pretty decent holiday comic with some good jokes. I”ll probably see Jing again next year, and it was fun getting to dip into these comics. THeir not my faviorites, but their still pretty decent and if the complete collection ends up on sale on comixology or you see it in a bookstore and you think it’d be up your ally i’d buy it. Again not my faviorite thing ever, but still enjoyable enough. Coming up this week of holiday cheer: ducks, more ducks, superheroes, and a best of list.

Until next time: Courage.

#animation #comics #reviews #jingle belle #paul dini #christmas #santa claus #dark horse comics

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inknose · 4 years

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mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

#mdzs readthru #this obviously has many spoilers

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secret-diary-of-an-fa · 4 years

Text

The End of Year Awards Are Back... and This Time, It’s Personal!

And so we approach the end of 2020, the year that never really began. On paper, at least, it looked incredibly promising. There were lots of great movies slated to come out; culture seemed slightly less paucity-riddled and pointless than usual; good things were in the air. Then COVID happened, and basically fucked everything. Actually, that’s not quite true: my personal year has been fucking spectacular. I’m in a long-term relationship with a gorgeous woman for the first time in forever- no more abrupt trysts and stolen moments for yer humble narrator: I’ve got a sumptuously plus-size lady-friend who actually wants to spend substantial amounts of time me (and has knockers you could sled down, were you so inclined). I also started a Youtube channel where I upload performances of magic tricks I’ve designed and a few people seem to quite like it. Oh, and I’ve written four novels, with a fifth well on its way to completion. Unfortunately, that’s my life, not the life of our civilisation and culture as a whole. The fact that bugger all happened in that makes this end-of-year round-up a little hard to write. With that in mind, I’m going to hand out the gongs for 2020, but I’m also going to do my usual dodge of giving end-of-year awards to things that I discovered in 2020, even if they came out the year, decade or century before. It’s not like any right-minded person gives a hoot about my opinion anyway. Right then, everyone clear on the rules? Then let’s roll up our sleeves and plunge elbow deep into the fetid trough of our decaying society to ferret out the best and worst of the Things That Humans Have Done Recently.

The ‘I Like It Because It Confused Thick People’ Award for Best High-Concept Sci-Fi Movie... … Goes to the sterling Tenet, a spy film that used entropy inversion and symmetric, opposite-direction timelines within the same physical space the way most spy films use hacking and guns. Christopher Nolan films are always intricately constructed and meticulously-executed, but this one must have had Japanese Master Puzzle-Box Makers crying into their breakfast cereal. Is breakfast cereal a thing in Japan? I honestly I have no idea. For some reason, all I can imagine is a sort of dry kedgeree where all the ingredients that aren’t rice have been removed. But I digress. For all its intricacy, Tenet is actually really easy to follow once you’ve grasped the basic premise that there’s a machine that lets people move backwards through time, and that this makes them appear to move in reverse to the rest of the world while they perceive the rest of the world as moving in reverse. Nolan maintains a mastery of cinematic visual language that makes even the most abstruse concept easy to wrap your head around. Nonetheless, following Tenet’s release, dumb people took to the Internet on mass to complain that the film was confusing and stupid, never once realising that their inability to conceptualise time in non-linear ways was their own failing, not Nolan’s. I find that refreshing. It’s nice to see a sci-fi film that’s actually made for smart-cookie sci-fi fans and doesn’t give a hoot if it alienate thickos.

The Award for Most Inexplicably Compelling Web Comic… … Goes to Questionable Content. I originally started reading Questionable Content because I’d heard that the female lead and love interest was a plus size lassie and that shit’s my jam. However, the art style makes everyone look like a skinny indie-type, regardless of their actual, in-universe size, so it doesn’t do much to titillate my Fat Admiring Titillation Centres. And yet, I’m over five hundred ‘episodes’ in and still reading. The thing is, I couldn’t tell you why for the life of me. Maybe it’s the hope that the art style will evolve to the point where the people look like actual human beings with different body types (but then, why would I care unless I was invested for some other reason). Maybe it’s the fact that when I get one of the many, many obscure band or pop culture references, I feel a little buzz of kinship with the writer. Maybe it’s the fact that it takes place in a universe where robots and superheroes are things that regularly happen, yet most of the strips are just normal people chatting shit in a coffee shop and the slice-of-life narrative/sci-fi setting appeals to my sense of juxtaposition. I don’t know, but I find it really compelling to the extent that I’ve pissed away entire days reading it. I have a horrible feeling that it’s a short step from this to really angsty hentai. If I start singing the praises of that, somebody please shoot me in the crotch.

The ‘Forest Gump Debating Peter Andre’ Award For Most Sustained or Elongated Instance of Stupidity… … Goes to Donald Trump. I was tempted just to award this gong to his entire presidency, but that wasn’t just stupid: it was also venal, corrupt, horrifying and punctuated by terrible moments of low cunning. So, instead, this award goes to his ‘soup’ rant. For those of you who missed it, the former President of the United States spent a really, really long time (in the run-up to the election) wittering on about protestors throwing cans of soup at police. What was dumb and weird about it was that he appeared to be extolling the virtues of soup as a siege weapon, going into really specific detail about how it was better than a brick because it could be thrown with more force, finishing with the utterance that protestors would just argue that “this is just soup for my family” if they were caught with the cans… which is phrased wrong in such a subtle and inhuman way it’s hard to imagine that anyone actually ever said it, at least in those words. I have no idea if protestors in America were throwing soup cans at police (which would be entirely justified considering how many innocent people American police have murdered in cold blood quite recently) or if this was a fantasy dreamed up by the former president in the cloudcuckooland that is his diseased little brain. Either way, the connected rant was balls deep in dumb.

The Most Disturbing Unintentional Impression of Vincent Price Award… … Goes to the narrator from One Step Beyond, a Twilight Zone-esque anthology of weirdness that purports to be based on true events and has to be seen to be believed. The stories are oft-disturbing instances of spooky-inflected human drama and can occasionally be quite disconcerting… until they’re book-ended by a dude who sounds like Vincent Price reading a children’s book in a really earnest voice. It’s weird and no, it didn’t hit our screens in Space Year 2020, it dates back to Ye Olden Times of the 1950s or 60s, when men were men, women were women and technincolour was a distant dream that could get you strung up for witchcraft. Nonetheless, I only encountered it this year, so it’s getting its prize. I warned you I was going to pull this shit, but you foolish fools didn’t listen.

The ‘It’s Not Gay If I Don’t Clench’ Award for Cognitive Dissonance… … Goes to Amazon Prime, the content-making branch of evil, tax-dodging, anti-monopoly-law-breaking megalith Amazon. You see, while Big Daddy Amazon is off being incredibly sinister and worrying, like a shifty vampire hanging off the economy’s throat, the creative people at Amazon Prime are busy making or acquiring some of the flat-out best TV ever committed to a streaming-service, from the extra-weird slice of fun-pie that is The Tick, to the entertainingly horrifying cultural dissection of The Boys to the utterly unique Carnival Row, to the superbly adapted American Gods. It’s a bit like discovering that Geoffrey Dahlmer single-handedly created a body of artistic work to rival Vincent Van Gogh’s when he wasn’t pouring acid onto the brains of emotionally vulnerable young adults. It gives me a headache.

The Clint Eastwood Award for Most Effective Older Gentlemen… … Goes to Joe Biden, for unseating dipshit in chief Donald Trump with the casual badassery of a Wild West gunslinger shooting a baddy (probably played by Leonardo Di Caprio) in the balls. I mean, he’s not the best Prez America could ask for but a) as a Brit I don’t have to care and b) anyone who ousts Trump gets mad props from me.

The ‘It’s a Pity Everything Else is Shit Now’ Award for Best New Ongoing Series… … Goes to my own Youtube series, Victor The Magician, in which I claim to be a reality-hopping, interdimensional wizard on an endless quest to… perform magic, basically. I’ll admit that the quality is super-variable (Youtube algorithms and their constant demand for fresh content be a harsh mistress, etc., etc.). However, when I’m good, I’m really good. If you’re looking for a punch-line other than the fact that this whole bit is a self-promoting plug, it’s this: my Youtube series really was the best thing to come out this year. Not because I’m great or anything, just by default. A promising year really did turn into a cultural wasteland the moment COVIDius Rex reared its scaly head.

The Zombie Ian Curtis Award for Most Crushing Disappointment… … Goes to Rick and Morty Series 4. As I think I’ve said before, it was still good, but it just didn’t reach the dizzy heights of nihilistic lunacy achieved in series 1-3. I think the problem is that the audience is meant to learn something from Rick’s poor choices, even if he doesn’t, because the creators saw the amazing success of Bojack Horseman and decided they wanted a slice of that sweet, tangy deconstructionist pie. It worked up to a point in the climax of Series 3, but having made their point, the showrunners probably should have moved onto a different point. They forgot that the appeal of Rick Sanchez is his combination of ‘entertaining car-crash of a human being’ and ‘unstoppable superbeing’. Push him through an arc and you risk breaking the thing that makes him and the show so endlessly watchable. Rick, unlike Bojack, just wasn’t built for heavy introspection. Also, the team hired on new writers who were less than familiar with the characters, setting and subtext, and that’s always an invitation to disaster.

The Special Sir Mixalot Award for Posteriority… ...Goes to… my girlfriend and glamorous assistant, Mystic Miss Terri, who’s arse is gorgeous and majestic.

The ‘Are They STILL Making That?’ Award for a Show You Forgot Existed And is Now Back… … Goes to Supernatural, which never technically went away and whose final series is apparently being broadcast on one of the 4 channels (though who knows which one, any more), It’s kind of nice to realise it’s still out there and be reminded that there are still people who care deeply about what happens to it. It’s like when you remember ‘oh yeah, [insert cute animal here] actually exists and isn’t just an internet meme. That’s nice’. Also, it’s good to see Jared Padelacki working steadily. It can’t be easy to find acting gigs when most producers just want to shoot you and mount your antlers over a fireplace.

The Irritating Magician Award for Something That Just Won’t Fuck Off… ...Goes to this blog entry, which is three pages long in Word. Good grief. Bye y’all! See you next year, assuming that the last few days of 2020 don’t culminate in a civilisation-destroying attack by giant space-ants. If that seems worryingly specific, let’s just say that- as Leonard Cohen would say “I’ve seen the future and, brother, it is murder”… by giant space-ants.

#Secret Diary of a Fat Admirer #2020 #2021 #New Year

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