#these lead to 3(a) 3(b) or 3(c). which is really 3(a)(1)->3(a)(1)(i) and 3(a)(1)(ii) and so on and so on.

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

A couple of changes

Hey all!

We've passed a couple of big milestones recently (Our 1000th rec! 5000 likes on tumblr! 69th themed week!), which seems like a good time to make a couple of changes!

The first, and biggest one: We're opening up recs to the general public! They'll work similar to the way that the gen recs and the not-quite-rarepair recs work - read the rules, prove that you've read the rules by submitting the password that's embedded in them, and then submit the rec. It's not foolproof, but it keeps bots away and hopefully convinces people.

We're doing this because, to be honest, two of the three people who are involved in this reclist aren't all that active on the discord this reclist is associated with, and I (Opera) think the reclist can be better if it has more voices involved, which means expanding the reccing pool.

Because of #1: 

2. We're changing the rules slightly. 

So, this reclist is anonymous. Unless you mention who you are in the comments of the rec itself, then we have no way of knowing who recced it.  Which in some ways is great! But it also means that when there's a potential issue, we can't send a quick DM to maybe clear things up.

One of the reasons why I was so hesitant about opening this up to everyone was that people tend to give people they share a community with more grace and good faith than randos, and because when there was an issue, I could put a message in the discord and - well, it didn't feel great, but at least it felt less like a call out post than putting it on tumblr where everyone can see it.

So, this is going to take some trust, but this is what we're going to do:

a. We will not allow any rec that is deemed, without a questionable doubt by the mods to be racist, transphobic, or mean spirited towards the work itself or the other works in the fandom. If the part that is racist, transphobic, or mean spirited can be excised without deleting the entire rec, we will do so. Otherwise, we'll remove it.

To be clear, we will still allow works that feature racism (for example, characters dealing with fantasy racism) or transphobia - it's that the rec itself should not be.

b. We will also remove any rec by author request. I've been hesitant to do this in the past, and we're not really equipped to ban any author from being recced, but will be willing to do so on a case by case basis.

c. When making a change, the default will be to make a change quietly. If you notice something's up, you can DM @operafloozy or @theusualjasper and we will let you know privately. I'm all for transparency, but announcing that someone was being weird on a rec on tumblr (where it can't be easily contained) is probably going to lead to bad feelings all around.

d. We're going to ask that everyone take things with as much good faith and grace as possible. I really, really don't want to remove anything, and this is asking folks who don't know the mods to trust us. I also don't want this reclist to become a vehicle of bullying or transphobia, but also I don't want people to get paranoid about their rec not being good enough or secretly transphobic somehow.

3. Also, we're putting the first ten themes back into the randomizer to be picked. It's been nearly two years, and we're down to only twelve unpicked themes. After ten weeks, we'll add the next ten themes back in, and so on.

Those themes are:

Cozy

Getting Nerdy About Magic

Professor Widogast

Culture Differences

Canon Divergent AU

Featuring Essek's Parents

Featuring Verin

Scourger/Evil AU

Featuring Astrid/Eadwulf

Wild Magic

[waterbearable]

as much as i love writing it does mean that i must regularly wrangle the pleasure center in my brain into submission. no you cannot go back to coding because you still have some routes to finish even though i knowwwww you are dying to see how variations work outside of your word processor. yes i know that you keep coming up with exciting ideas that you want to flesh out but you have to finish writing the scenes that will get you there. blease.

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

I mean if we're really getting into it, most problems with people creating stories to critique Christianity boil down to either a. They do absolutely zero research and think "why do bad things happen" is unanswerable for anyone who believes in a fundamentally good deity, b. They assume that the religious beliefs of two churches in Missouri run by an abusive pastor are the religious beliefs of 3 billion people, or c. They're actually critiquing cultural systems which utilize Christianity to uphold oppression (good! Critique that!) but they conflate that with the religion itself which often leads back to the first two points, meaning they make factually incorrect statements about actual religious teachings and approach faith as inherently evil (wrong! Read the Book!)

I do believe you can write a story critiquing faith or religious systems or religion and do it well but unfortunately 90% of the time this is how people do it. Which is poorly done and useless.

[38sr]

My Adventures with Superman EP 4: Design Works

My goodness it feels so strange to see these designs two years later but I actually had a hand in Clark, Lois and Jimmy’s gala suits in episode 4 of My Adventures with Superman!

This happened WAY back in Sept 2021 but during my first week on the show I jokingly sent a piece of art to one of the design leads and well, one thing led to another:

This is kind of running gag with my work, but I somehow always predict things when I draw fanart haha. I truly didn’t know there was gonna be a gala episode and now I was tasked to do a pass for the main trio’s gala outfits.

CLARK KENT

Naturally since it started with Clark, he was the first one I did a pass on. I actually really like men’s suits design so this was the most fun to design out of the three. Overall, I drafted up four different suits that gave 4 different feels for our soft boi. Option A was a full 3 piece with slick backed hair (which honestly now feels very Bruce Wayne than Clark haha). Option B had a high school prom feel, Option C was more business casual (hence why his dress shirt was unbuttoned at top) and finally Option D was sleek turtleneck & suit combo. Honestly, I was rooting Option D ‘cause I’m a sucker for a turtleneck but if I  remember correct they went with Option B ‘cause it felt the most Clark. But just know I tried haha.

LOIS LANE

Lois’s outfit was quite challenging since I had no clue until I was given the assignment that she’s Korean (yes, Lois is canonically Korean in the show). I remember the design leads Jane Bak and Dou Hong showing me a rough concept of a modern hanbok. I spent so many days researching hanboks and the construction behind them...it truly was a learning experience for me haha. It was quite challenging trying to create and outfit that spoke to Lois’ heritage while still keeping her energy. This was my very first pass but I think ultimately the team did a great job to hone in the final look and balance both elements for her outfit (the backless top is just chef’s kiss). Also yes, I did try giving Lois slick back hair haha.

JIMMY OLSEN

There isn’t much to say about Jimmy’s outfit (sadly I left the production to work on Spiderman Freshman Year before seeing what they decided on). But from what I remember, I specifically was looking at men’s outfits from the Met Gala from that year and before (I think Chadwick Boseman was the biggest influence for me at the time). Though I think his final suit design aren’t like too far off from my initial thoughts, it’s still super cool to see how it evolved into the final look!  But yeah! Just a little behind the scenes on the work I got to do on the show. Again, super brief since Spidey was calling my name but I truly had so much fun getting to design for this show. MAWS was my first ever time doing design work (since I primarily work as a 2D animator and board artist). I was so nervous but the team was welcoming and taught me so much! I really have to thank Dou Hong and Jake Wyatt for taking a chance on me and allowing me to draw hot anime characters for a DC show haha.

[falllpoutboy]

the ritualistic humiliation of alicent this season was absolutely disgusting and the show constantly needed to remind us that she is the character we should root against all the time and never feel bad for her, everyone else gets a pass because they’re a slave to fate, apparently, but not her. nearly every single plot point this season regarding her is swiftly followed by a punishment, whether literally or narratively.

she starts this season by having clandestine consensual sex with criston cole her sworn sword. they are so bad at being clandestine that otto and larys have clearly suspected something is going on with them. after being stood up by her, larys then replaces her regular lady’s maids with some from his staff so that they can spy and report back to him which makes alicent uncomfortable enough to send them away. that’s punishment #1

she and criston are having sex when b&c happens and are interrupted by helaena and jaehaera running in. but remember, jaehaerys was not the original target of b&c, and the mastermind behind it, daemon is redeemed by the end of this season, so alicent is so much of a POS hypocrite that while she too busy having sex with the LC of the kingsguard, her grandson dies on HER watch. and as much as i loved alicole, i really hate that the writers used their relationship to seemingly punish the characters when they literally haven’t done anything wrong. and now helaena knows about the affair too. punishment #2

alicent is confronted by rhaenyra at the sept of baelor, who lets slip that she heard viserys push for aegon to be king as his last words to her. but oh no, silly alicent, rhaenyra is here to tell you about the song of ice and fire, this stupid prophecy that has been passed from Targaeryen king to heir for generations now. how would alicent have known about it when she is neither king nor heir? doesn’t matter, she’s stupid for believing his words to be literal and stupid for playing a part in crowning her son. punishment #3

alicent takes moon tea, as an abortifacient or as a late contraceptive, we’ll never know! but the very act of taking moon tea is now perceived by grand maester orwylle, who now also has reason to suspect queen alicent has been having an affair. punishment #4

bitter and disillusioned with herself for not knowing about a stupid fucking prophecy nobody told her about and letting her horrible son aegon be crowned (even though the council was planning on installing him anyways), alicent talks down to aegon by reminding him he’ll never be as good of a king as his father (L O L) and he should do nothing. such a rousing speech leads to aegon getting drunk, flying out into battle on his dragon and getting maimed because of it. why did you say such mean things alicent? now look what you did. punishment #5

back at the small council, alicent advocates for herself to be regent with only one person there to agree with her, grand maester orwylle but not even her lover and closest confidant advocates for her. the son she is scared of the most becomes regent instead. silly alicent, don’t you know you will never be respected in a room full of men? how do you like misogyny, something you have apparently never personally experienced until this day, now? punishment #6

alicent goes to the sept of baelor to pray with helaena when a riot mob happens and is forced to retreat. this mob is apparently so righteously angry at not having enough food, they throw fish in her face with such good aim and call her the queen of fishes, alicent trips and falls for leaving helaena behind momentarily, and she also receives a bloody gash on her arm before barely escaping with her life and helaena. oh alicent, didn’t you know that the blockade of ships that carries food into the city which has been enforced by rhaenyra and corlys has actually been your fault the entire time?? punishment #7

back at the small council, alicent confronts aemond and is relieved by her duty on there by him. maybe its because she brings up a theory that he is now avenging the bullying he went through when he was young, which one could argue happened on her watch, is why she gets the boot. oh well, there goes any little ruling power and say in the war effort she had left. punishment #8

alicent sees off her brother ser gwayne who makes mention that their father otto kept her closer to him than gwayne because she was his favored child. Oh! so because alicent was otto’s favorite, it doesn’t really matter that he sold her into marriage and marital rape at age 14 last season. why would you ever want to be otto hightower’s favorite child? punishment #9

alicent also asks about daeron, with gwayne saying how unlike to aegon and aemond he is because he was raised away from them in Oldtown and not by her.. she even says this and gwayne dissuades her of that opinion but honestly, once alluded to that alicent is a bad mom, it’s just her biased brother claiming otherwise. punishment #10

[tryingtofindava]

𝐓𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐢 𝐓𝐨𝐛𝐲 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭*ೃ༄

tw: FEM READER!! And it talks about… well… smut.

: ̗̀➛Back to source

MORE UNDER THE CUT!!!

A = Aftercare

(what they’re like after sex…)

Because of his CIPA he probably won’t be able to feel the affects it had on his body, so if you yourself aren’t too tired out…

You’ll probably convince him the two of you can take a cold shower to get his body heat back to normal. (which may or may not result in a round 2…)

Other then that he’s making sure your comfy and cozy, and the two of you will probably just snuggle the rest of the night or day.

B = Body part

(their favourite body part of theirs and also their partners…)

He doesn’t like looking at himself that much, and tends to cover up as best as he could. (Which almost always leads to him nearly dying of heatstroke because he’ll refuse to take some layers off…)

His favourite part on you (other than your face) is your thighs, he likes smooshing his face against them.

C = Cum

(anything to do with cum…)

Depends…

If you’re on the pill he’s 100% giving you a creampie. He says he does it because it’s more intimate to him.

But if you’re not, he’s either doing it on your stomach, or tits. He ain’t wanting kids. (for more then one reason)

D = Dirty Secret

(its self explanatory…)

Not really a secret since you DEFINITELY know about it, but…

In his dresser drawer he’s has about 6 pairs of your panties. You discovered it when you remembered he had cough sweeties in his drawer and accidentally found them…

Best to just shut the drawer and pretend you never saw them in the first place. Or tease him about it. At least you know were your missing panties are now…

E = Experience

(how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

You’re his second girlfriend ever. The first being Natalie. And the furthest they got in their relationship was kissing and cuddling, so he’s got them down.

So you were his first time, though he’s not the most experienced out there… He’s a quick learner AND he definitely makes up for it with enthusiasm. But he’s so so very loser-y about it.

F = Favorite positions

(take a wild guess…)

Toby’s top 5 favourite positions not in order!!

1) leap frog

2) cow girl

3) face off

4) ballet dancer

5) missionary

Though he is up to try any position once (maybe more if he REALLY likes it), these are just his go to.

G = Goofy

(are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc…)

He tries to take it as seriously as possible, because you are willing to do something so intimate with him? Of all people??

Though he can’t help but be at least a little silly during the deed.

H = Hair

(how well groomed are they?)

He’s not shaven clean, but he hasn’t got a bush either. Too much hair makes him feel icky. But he doesn’t have to shave often, Toby isn’t an overly hairy guy like Tim.

He’s got a patch of hair on his chin, armpits, and legs and arms. And his happy trail is top tier ¬‿¬

I = Intimacy

(how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect…)

Depends on his mood tbh, if it’s been a good day he’ll be extra romantic and sweet, praising you and how good you are. But if it’s a bad day, he’ll be rough to get his frustrations out (and even if he is being rough he’s still so gentle about it if ykwim, like he doesn’t wanna hurt you, but like yeah<3).

J = Jack off

(masturbation headcanon…)

He doesn’t do it as often as ppl think, though he still acts like a horny teen. At least jerks off two times a week sometimes more if he’s had a rough day. And he’d be a liar if he said he hasn’t jerked off with your panties.

K = Kink

(one or more of their kinks…)

Praise is a big one for him, he’s more of a giver, but likes receiving it as well. Tell him how good he’s making you feel, he’ll cum 10x faster.

And although he’s likes to praise you, he likes to degrade you too. But only a little.

Mommy kink? Maybeeeeee… Depends if you’re topping or not.

Marking: He’s a total slut for giving you hickeys, he likes putting them in the most obvious places for people to see. Double points if you don’t bother covering them up.

Dry humping. Don’t be shy, hop on his thigh and get to work.

He accidentally discovered his Voyeurism kink when he walked in on you masturbating. He didn���t mean to just stand there and watch… it’s just… you were too pretty to look away.

Mans loves some bondage, tying up your hands and legs is like his equivalent to a Christmas present.

L = Location

(favorite places to do the deed…)

Up against the wall, the bed, in the woods… he’s fine with doing it anywhere. It gives him a certain thrill doing it places were you could easily get caught.

But he does prefer doing it in secluded places like the bedroom, or in the shower. Rather than in public. In his mind, getting caught in public = having to stop sooner.

M = Motivation

(what turns them on, gets them going…)

Baby can pop a boner easily… You could be doing the simplest thing, stretching? Boner. Cleaning? Boner. Just talk to him In general? BONER ALERT!!!

And when he’s deep in you, and you’re making just the cutest little whimpers and moans? He’s not gonna stop as long as you keep that up.

N = Nuh uh

(something they wouldn't do, turn offs…)

Pls do not call him daddy, it makes him feel weird. And he’s not into spanking. No matter how much you say it’s okay. He doesn’t see what’s so enticing and sexy about hitting or harming a loved one.

O = Oral

(preference in giving or receiving…)

It’s 50/50 with him.

On one hand, he likes going down on you. Eating away at your messy cunt. AND WHEN HE DOES…

God does it feel good, he’s got snake bites and a tongue piercing. Feeling the metal studs against your heat is just automatically orgasmic.

“F-fuuckk, I-I think s-she luh-likes me.”

If you cum fast on his face it deffo gives him an ego boost… FEED HIS EGO!!

But he also loves when you’re sucking him off. Your pretty lips wrapped around him… how couldn’t he love it?

“Y-you can t-take wayyy more t-then that.”

He’ll stroke your hair, as he tries his best to refrain from head pushing. He’d hate if he accidentally harmed his good girl…

Р = Расе

(are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

He’ll start off slow, letting you adjust. But as time goes on he’ll just work himself up and hammer into you at an unbelievable speed.

Q = Quickie

(their opinions on quickies, how often they may occur…)

He prefers longer sessions so he can please the both of you. But, if he’s desperate… and you guys got places to be… It wouldn’t hurt rutting into you, right?

R = Risk

(are they game to experiment? do they take risks?)

Barebacking. Toby claims that wearing a condom is suffocating. Even though he can’t feel things like that… Good thing he doesn’t have a weak pull out game.

Public sex. He has a weird fantasy that he doesn’t stop, even when he hears someone coming. A part of him wants to make the poor person who stumbled upon you two watch as he fills you up.

S = Stamina

(how many rounds can they go for/how long do they last?)

He’s got a super high libido, and can last about 3 rounds in bed, and at least 2 rounds in the shower afterwards.

And that’s only if he isn’t putting in his best effort…

T = Toys

(do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or on themselves?)

He doesn’t have any for himself, but he has a small white vibrator he uses to tease your clit and nipples.

U = Unfair

(how much they like to tease? And can they handle teasing?)

He can only tease you for a little bit before he gets too desperate and has to take you the second it gets a little too much.

He himself can also be teased for so long… Before he takes matters into his own hands, and you teasing completely backfires on yourself.

V = Volume

(how vocal are they doing the deed...)

HE IS NOISY!!

As he’s snapping his hips to yours, he’s babbling some random shit.

“S-so t-tight!”

“God… y-you love i-it like th-this, don’t cha?”

“Shit! Y-you’re c-clenc-ching!”

Half the time you can’t even make out what he’s saying. Other than that he just grunts and groans. ALMOST growling.

And bro WILL be speaking German too, it slips out sometimes.

W = Waking up afterwards

(how they are after waking up)

Though he can’t feel it, his muscles are slightly sore from pushing himself a bit too hard.

Besides that he’s gonna make sure you’re okay after the whole thing. And if you don’t wake up, he’ll just opt to fall back asleep snuggling into your chest.

X = X-ray

(let's see what's going on under those clothes(¬‿¬))

A surprising 6 inch, though not that girthy. Makes up for it in hitting ALL the right places. The tip gets redder depending on how worked up he is, leaning slightly to the left. With a vain running up it’s right side.

Y = Yearning

(how high is their sex drive?)

Bro is ABUSING The Operator strength, he can last for god knows how long. Without any breaks. He can go at it with you like a rabbit in heat.

Z = Zzz

(how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He won’t fall asleep until he knows you’re completely comfortable and content with what happened.

He doesn’t mean to be creepy, but he’ll watch you sleep for a while. In case something comes up afterwards.

But once he’s asleep, he’s knocked out cold for the next few hours…

[thinkwosolife23]

She needs you, Alessia Russo

Today was one of the biggest games, if not the biggest game of the season.

As an Arsenal player, playing Chelsea has to be the most fustrating game to play. More importantly as a defender, you have the task of keeping Sam Kerr quiet. Even with Leah by your side, it can be extremely difficult. Despite being your rival, you have the upmost respect for the Chelsea team and all of there players, they are a talented side but that means they bring out the best in you. But it's got to the point where everyone almost expects Arsenal to lose, like we don't even put up a fight against them.

You've played Chelsea many times over the 3 years you have been at Arsenal, your win ratio isn't exactly ideal. You can count on one hand how many times you've actually beat them.

However, Arsenal have made some big changes and improvements this season. With the new signings and players returning from injury, you were hopefull, really hopefull that you could win,

One of the new signings just happened to be your fiance. You and Alessia had known each other since you were about 13 through the England youth teams.

When you were 18, you had made the venture to move to America to go to University and play for North Carolina Tar Heels. Alessia had also made the move, meaning the two of you became a lot closer. Eventually that lead to a relationship when your were both 19.

In 2020, you signed for Arsenal and Alessia had signed for Manchester United. The distance was difficult for the both of you, it definatly challenged your strength as a couple. But it mad you cherish the time you did have together even more.

You had proposed to Alessia in the iddle of Wembley stadium when you had just won the Euros, you couldn'y have thought of a better time to do it. Thankfully, she said yes.

You were over the moon when your soon to be wife decided to join Arsenal. Obviously, you knew that the choice was difficult for Alessia and you knew how much she loved her United. But you couldn't be happier knowing that for both club and country, you get to play alongside the love of your life. You had the hope that Alessia was exactly what Arsenal needed to beat Chelsea.

Anyways, the Arsenal coach had just arrived at Emirates Stadium.

Before your warm up, you had chance to go onto the field to do the pitch check, to speak with some of the Chelsea players and have time with your own teammates.

After talking to Millie and Lauren, two of your fellow Lionesses, you and Alessia began walking around the pitch looking for your families in the quickly filling stadium.

"How you feeling, love?" You asked Alessia as she began tracing patterns on your hand whilst you were walking along, somethin she usually did when she was nervous.

"I'm good." She told you, her voice not at all convincing.

"C'mon Less, you know you don't have to lie to me."

"I'm just a bit nervous, that's all. It's a big game, there's so much pressure."

"Forget about the nerves, the pressures. I have no doubt that you'll be amazing because you always are. My stargirl."

By now, the two of you had stopped walking around. You had pulled Alessia into a hug, lightly kissing her temple, her head resting in your neck.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

Before long, you were stood in the tunnel waiting for both teams to walk out. You always were last in the line, it became an almost ritual for you now. You and Katie were messing around as usual, laughing at something one of the mascots had said.

Arsenal Starting 11:

GK - M. Zinsberger LB - K. McCabe CB - L. Williamson CB - Y/N. Y/LN RB - S. Catley CDM - L. Walti CM - K. Little (C) LW - C. Foord CF - V. Meidama RW - B. Mead ST - A. Russo

Chelsea Starting 11:

GK - Z. Musovic LB - A. Lawrence CB - M. Bright (C) CB - J. Carter RB - N. Charles CDM - S. Ingle CDM - E. Cuthbert CAM - F. Kirby LW - G. Reiten ST - S. Kerr RW - L. James

The game was fairly even at both ends. You and Leah had an amzing partnership at the back which the Chelsea frontline were currently struggling to get by.

At the other end of the pitch, our fowards were doing a really good job of testing Musovic in goal but nothing had managed to get past her.

Until…

45+2' Alessia Russo Goal (A: Y/N Y/LN)

You had sent a long ball from the halfway line, which managed to go ever the Chelsea back line and reach Alessia who kicked it into the back of the net.

She ran over too you and jumped, wrapping her arms around your neck and her legs around your waist.

In the second half, Chelsea brought a tougher energy. The players were acting way harsher towards the Arsenal players, way harsher than they were in the first half. Their tackles were higher, the shoulder barges were stronger and the shirt pulls were far more occurent.

However, even by the 80th minute, you still were in the lead. You and Leah had made no mistakes at the back, the Chelsea frontline couldn't even get a proper shot off without one of you making the crucial tackle or block.

Leading to this moment. Chelsea had a corner in the 83rd minute due to you blocking a Sam Kerr shot.

At Chelsea, you knew that they either aimed for Sam's head or Millie's. They would always aim for one of them two.

You were currently in the main mix of people in the box. You were glued to Millie's side, doing your upmost to mean that the ball didn't go in the back of the Arsenal net.

Guro's delivery was impeccable, the ball heading straight fo the mix of blue and red in the box.

You jumped up to try and deter the ball when you felt something a lot harder than the ball in the side of your head.

Everyone in the stadium watched as Sam Kerr's Boot connected with the side of your head, sending you limp on the floor.

The Arsenal players in shock when you didn't get back up like you usually did. Play was immediatly stopped when you were face down on the ground, not moving.

Your teamates headed in multiple different directions. Some members of both teams gathered round your unmoving state to give you privacy whilst waiting for the medics. Alessia and Katie headed stright for Sam's direction in an angrily manor, whereas Leah and Steph wher among some wsho where straight by your side.

Leah, slowly and carefully began to roll you over so you were on your back. Players faces screwed up in horror as your face was covered in blood, which was now all over your shirt.

"C'mon Y/N, I need you to wake up now." Leah said, whilst scanning your face to see if there was any sort of response.

Alessia's fustration towards Sam had took her attention, her mind thinking you would be up by now. In the midst of it all, she hadn't noticed how you were still on the ground.

Your eyes slowly flickered open, shocked at the amount of light you were faced with. The pain in the side of your head was unlike anything you had ever felt with.

"Less?" Your voice barely scraped a whisper as all you needed was your lover by your side.

"Give us a minute, love. She's on her way."

Leah darted her eyes to Alessia's direction, to see her still going at Sam, emphisizing her fustrations and anger.

Katie had now noticed your state, realising it was way more serious than anyone had anticipated. And was now trying to help Beth steer Alessia away from Sam. Alessia wasn't ever the type to get in shouting matches but everyone knew that you were each others weak spot.

"Less, stop! You've had your say, now leave it!" Beth's unexpectedly firm voice slightly startled Alessia. Meaning her and Katie could pull her away.

"Alessia, she needs you." Katie's words made her turn around to realise that you were still on the floor, blood dripping from your head, with Leah and the medics by your side.

Alessia made little time in rushing over to your side, guilt swarming her as she let her anger overwhelm her.

"Baby, i'm sorry. I'm here now." Alessia said, taking your hand in hers. Watching on as you drifted in and out of conciousness.

The medics were quick to get you on the stretcher and off the pitch to get you properly treated.

The players and stadium erupted in claps as you were took off the pitch and down into the tunnel, towards the medical room.

There was a significant amount of extra time in the match due to your injury, but the players concentration wasn't on the match anymore. It was on whether or not you were okay.

Alessia couldn't even think straight, let alone play a match. As soon as the final whistle went, Alessia disregarded all the usual expectations of post-match and ran down the tunnel to find where you were.

The confusion flooded Alessia as she approached the medical room. Your laugh could be heard from the outside of the room.

Alessia quickly swung the door open to be met with sight of you on the medical bed with pading and bandages covering the side of your head.

"Oh my, Babe your awake." Alessia said as she saw you, her body instantly relaxed a bit.

"Babe?" Your face crumpled up in confusion and so did Alessia's as your reaction to her wasn't what she expected.

She quickly directed her look to the staff on the room who were fast to reassure her that you were quite dosed up on medication.

"I have a wife, you know." You told her factually, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Ohh do you now?" Alessia had to hold in her laugh, but her eyes also softened at what you had just said.

"Yeah, she's so beautiful. The most beautifulest girl ever."

Alessia did now actually laugh at the word you had just created.

"Can you tell me what your name is? Just so I can go and get your wife, I'm sure she would want to know that your okay." Alessia tried to go along with your words, hoping you'd eventually realise that your fiance was stood in front of you.

"Y/N Russo." You told Alessia confidently.

Alessia eyes watered at your confession but she soon thought that the best thing was to just turn around and show you the back of her shirt.

"So you stole her shirt and now your trying to steal her wife."

"Right, love, listen. I am Alessia. Your my fiance, we're not married yet."

"Ohhhhh." You said, the realisation of your confusion finally hitting you.

Alessia came and sat on the bed next to you. You moved over so she could lay down meaning you could rest your head on her chest. Your hands wrapping tightly around her waist as hers lightly rubbed your back.

"I quite like the sound of Y/N Russo, though."

[restinslices]

Okay I have a request. Can you please do MK1 Earthrealm men headcanons in bullet point format reacting to a 2 week sex ban? 🤭 You can come up with reasons why there was a ban in the first place. Also would the reader fold or the men first?

Took a lil minute since I had irl shit but I finished

Johnny Cage

Johnny's big mouth is the reason the ban happened 

Johnny is big on PDA and he shows you affection a lot. It's cute, but it makes some people wanna barf 

Someone would make a comment calling you both gross and asking why Johnny had to be on you like that, and Johnny would defend himself 

“It's not me! It's them! They couldn't function without me touching them”

This would result in a confrontation and you saying it's the complete opposite and then it'd lead to how much sex you have and then you'd challenge him to a ban 

At first Johnny is super confident 

Two weeks without sex? Piece of cake! If worse comes to worse, he could always sneak away and use his hand 

For the first couple of days it's pretty easy. He's not THAT feral 

Once the first week passes, he's struggling 

Everything seems to turn him on and he can't get any privacy. It's like you can read his mind because every single time he tries to sneak away, you're right behind him. He's real close to asking if you have a power you haven't told him about

So naturally, he tries to get you to fold first 

He tries everything. He flirts more than usual (which is already a lot), compliments you, rubs against you, kisses you longer than need be, anything and everything 

You never break and it frustrates him beyond belief 

How are you completely fine when he's struggling like crazy?

“You can go two weeks without having sex with me? That's insulting” “No it's not. You're just a big baby”

Needless to say, he doesn't make the two weeks 

If you wanna be nice, you can make him apologize then have sex with him after 

If you wanna be mean, you can make him apologize but still make him wait the 2 weeks

He's begging you to be nice 

Kenshi Takahashi

Kenshi is the one who brings it up 

You're all over him and he's ok with that, but you both should be focusing on training. Liu Kang is choosing a champion for Earthrealm soon, but you seem too busy jumping on him 

He told you that you two should be focusing more, and you argued that you are focused 

You are? Alright. Prove it. 

And that's how the sex ban happens 

It's not that Kenshi isn't struggling. He is. His determination is higher tho

Remember this is when he's at the Academy and he's trying to restore his clan and get his sword back from Johnny. So he's real goal oriented right now 

When he gets frustrated, instead of going to have sex with you, he just tries to think about his goals and the outcome he wants 

Your frustration also pushes him to keep going. As asshole-ish as it sounds, it's hilarious to him 

Watching your attempts to seduce him and trying to get him to give up genuinely makes him laugh 

Salt in the wound because IMAGINE rubbing against him and he laughs at you

Sickening 

The more frustrated you become, the more determined he becomes 

At some point you tell him you give up 

Now I see this going 1 of 3 ways 

A) He accepts your defeat and gives you what you want 

B) He makes you go on and on about how his focus is better than yours, and he still refuses to have sex with you and makes you wait 

C) He has sex with you but doesn't let you finish since you lost 

Depends on the day and his mood 

Kung Lao

I can see his situation being similar to Kenshi’s but not exactly the same 

Let's paint the scene 

You're at the Academy and Kung Lao isn't really focused. He's so convinced he'll be the Earthrealm champion but he keeps slacking off 

When you mention this, he dismisses it. Yeah, he spends a lot of time under you but he trains too! 

That's when you say that if he's not chosen to represent Earthrealm, then he can't touch you for 2 weeks 

Him not being the chosen one? Yeah fucking right 

… 

… 

Well shit-

Surely you're not serious though- oh you are? 

He tries to find loopholes and convince you to drop it 

“It's not like we had a contract” “Come on, you can't be serious” “Two weeks? That's excessive! Two days tops” “It's not like I just want sex. You want it too. I won't be the only one suffering”

You don't budge 

He's frustrated because he didn't get the damn lightning amulet and he wants to let it out but you're not letting him 

And his hand isn't the same 

He tries to convince himself that he's fine. It's not a big deal. He can make it. Yadyadya 

I can see him making it through the 2 weeks but he's so visibly unhappy 

And do not laugh. He'll wanna kill you 

It's so obvious he's dying on the inside. His eyes linger way too long on you 

He took the L at the mini tournament and now he feels like he's taking an L now. Back to back slaps in the face 

And you lecturing him about how he could've possibly beaten Raiden if he focused more irritates the life outta him 

He gets it! Damn! Let it go and touch him 

You do not and he's forced to wait the 2 weeks 

Be aware that once the clock strikes midnight, he'll be on you immediately 

Raiden

Aight y'all I'm lowkey running out of reasons 

And because of that, imma say he just heard about the shit on google. Maybe someone was saying it could benefit the relationship. Idk. 

He brings up the idea and you agree to it 

Now I don't see Raiden wanting to have sex all the time so I don't think 2 weeks would be that difficult for him 

Does he struggle somewhat? A little 

And I mean a little 

It's not on his mind all the time and when he’s in the mood he reminds himself how little time he has left 

He's also training new recruits at the Academy so that keeps him busy and distracted 

He definitely wants to have sex at some point but it’s not something pushing on his shoulders

It’s not bothering him the way it bothers the other Earthrealm men

As for you, I believe in you making it as well 

Like I said, Raiden doesn't want sex all the time so it's not like you're fucking like rabbits. So 2 weeks ain't that bad 

He's also gone for some time so it's not like you're seeing him all the time and wanting to fuck on him 

If you're training new recruits as well, you're both busy and fucking around new recruits ain't a good look 

The two of you make it through the 2 weeks. Congratulations! 

Your prize? There is none

Just a little fun for the two of you to do

Maybe you'll do it again and try to go longer 

I think overall he can probably last around a month

Liukang

Before I even say why this happened, let me just say you are NEVER winning this 

This man has incredible patience. This is the same guy that rebuilt society and waited hundreds of thousands of years for his friends to come back. Do y'all really think he'll struggle with not getting his dick wet for 2 weeks? 

Now why does this ban happen? I'm so glad you asked and I'm definitely not grabbing at straws here- (or is it grasping?)

Now idk the timeline and how much time passed in the game so excuse me if I'm wrong 

Let's say the bullshit with the other Shang Tsung happened over the span of 2 weeks 

When shit started picking up, Liu Kang thought it would be best for the both of you to have space 

He doesn't mean like, a breakup type of break. He just means “hey, we can't be distracted. We should try and give each other space so we can be more productive”

You can be around each other but things like dates, and sex aren't happening until shit is fixed 

Now, like I said, Liu Kang is fine 

He's thinking about everyone's safety. Not sex. 

And that doesn't mean he doesn't wanna have sex with you. He just knows he needs to focus right now 

Trying to convince him that he can spare a few minutes to be alone isn't gonna work with him. 

“This'll help you too. Your will, your resolve, your-”

Insert other monk type shit he'd say

You can try and try and try to convince him but he'll always say no

He'll hug and kiss you but that takes a few seconds 

You can tell him that he spends more time sleeping than fucking but he'll disregard that 

You can try to flirt with him and touch him but he'll seem unmoved 

In reality, he's definitely hormonal when you do that but he's not clawing at the walls. He could last a lot longer than 2 weeks 

Once the bullshit is over he'll do what you want for as long as you want 

Might bring up doing it again as a joke but you seem like you'll try and kill him so it never happens 

[alienoresimagines]

Honestly, Crank is such a mood and might just be my MOTA spirit animal

Exhibit A : He is just so done, all of the time it's so funny

1) "What I get a passenger?" Sassy Crank who then decided to sleep through the rest of the briefing because if he has Bucky the Yapper on his plane, he will need the extra sleep if they both want to make it alive to Algeria

2) Any sequence where he is flying and Bucky's behind him and/or asking for updates on Buck. The way he just... closes his eyes like he's praying a higher deity to take the Yapper of his plane before answering is so funny. I don't know if it's because of Bucky's poorly hidden attempt at making it look like he's not asking after Buck specifically by saying "the stagglers" and Crank realising exactly why Bucky "couldn't skip this one" or simply because he's just been through hell and the war wife that yapped his way on his plane won't stop asking is he's a war widow yet but it's funny. Reminds me of a parent who just wants some sleep but their kid keeps asking questions.

3) His "Oh that makes me feel better" when the mechanic tells him of the plane's condition ("won't go very far but you won't need it" because Münster isn't far and not because Crank gets shot down not 20 minutes later mind you). I know he was probably still angry and bitter after his altercation with Bucky and the fact that Crank does Not agree with the mission's order but I just love him. He reminds me of a cranky, wet kitten

Exhibit B : He is hella competent

Every pilot is good, that's a fact. There hasn't been much focus on the pilots except for the Buckies (even though we've never seen Bucky in the left seat except that one time he was smoking in it during his war widow era), Rosie and Curt (a bit of Brady and Blakely too) so there isn't much to say about Crank specifically. BUT when Bucky, lead pilot, goes down, Crank immediately takes the lead to avoid formation going into chaos like was the case during the Bremen mission ("There was a lot of confusion when lead (Buck and DeMarco) went down, it was chaos"). And don't forget that he flew through the Regensburg mission, which was absolute hell!

Exhibit C : He is Not Afraid to speak his mind or call people on their bs

1) Him being the one to ask Bucky how he managed to be put on the Regensburg mission while very clearly already having an idea, only confirmed by Bucky's vague answer

2) Famous moment but his confrontation with Bucky (and Brady) about the Münster mission. Nobody mentioned Buck to Bucky, except Ken, but no one really mentioned the fact that the Münster mission was a revenge mission. Everybody knew it but there was that fear that mentioning Buck would set Bucky off so nobody did. But Crank does, because Buck was also his friend and so is Bucky and neither of them would have approved or encouraged the mission if they'd been here/in their right mind.

Look at the devastation on his face when Bucky tells him that "it's a war and it won't end until they hit them where it hurts". That's the face of someone seeing a friend absolutely drowning in grief turning to revenge to cope.

So Crank says "None of the people we're going to bomb today shot down Buck" and he sees the look in Bucky's eyes and knows that he may have hit the bull's eye, but it was the wrong move. Only accentuated by the fact that Bucky then makes Crank call him "sir" something that he has never done before, clearly separating himself from his friends and Crank understands that this isn't really Bucky, at least not the one he knows. Buck may have been the only one to go down but the truth is, the 100th had already lost the two Buckies

Exhibit D : He loves his people soooo much

1) The hug he gives Dougie when the goblin fort crew comes back from the dead??? Just looking at that hug I could feel how warm and comforting it was. Crank is one of the best huggers of the 100th I bet. Also Dougie being taken aback at the force of the hug that he has to take a few steps back?? Can you imagine how good and relieved Crank must have felt after losing so many friends but, just this time, one crew came back and intel was wrong, they weren't dead!! They came back!!

See Gif below :

Look at his face when he goes to hug Dougie, he can't believe he gets to see them again 🥺

2) The grief on his face when he comes back from Bremen? Not having the words to say Buck went down because they all thought that no one bailed out and the entire crew was dead? He just shakes his head in defeat. All he can think about is that they lost Buck but someone will have to tell Bucky that he lost Buck. Look at his face and tell me he didn't know it'd destroy Bucky.

3) Him calling for Bucky at the fence when the latter arrived at the Stalag. The pure joy and relief on his face ("You made it!!!"), so overwhelming that he has to take his beanie off because he arrived at the Stalag and Bucky wasn't there and he didn't arrive even days after Crank. And if Crank arrived before Brady did, then he must have thought that the entire crew was dead because he saw them go down, even took the lead afterwards. But then Brady arrived, and Bucky wasn't there and that couldn't be because if Bucky's dead then the last time Crank had ever seen him it'd been in anger and for all Crank disagreed with the mission, Bucky's his friend. But then Bucky comes and Crank is so relieved because Bucky's alive and the Buckies are back together so everything will be fine and Crank's with his friends again.

In conclusion, I love my cranky but affectionate Crank from New England, he deserves more appreciation, thank you for coming to my ted talk.

P.s.: I haven't seen MOTA post ep 6 so this post might be edited if the last 3 episodes give me Crank content :)

[percybeloved]

Byakuya Togami: NSFW Alphabet

Notes: Byakuya (ofc) has a male s/o in this.

Requests Open!

Unedited

A=Aftercare - What they do/act like after sex.

- Byakuya tends to shower after sex. He hates being sticky from sweat. He'll bathe with you and probably help wash your hair.

B=Bondage - Are they into BDSM, and how far they’ll go if they have a green light.

- Just a little light bondage. The occasional tying his hands together with either your or his tie.

C=Cum - pretty self explanatory.

-Thin yet sticky, but has a bitter taste

D=Dom - Are they dominant, submissive, a switch?

-Byakuya would be more dominant than submissive, but would be a switch for those moments he wants to be loved.

E=Edgeplay - Similar to ‘Kinks’ except it’s a lot riskier than usual kinks (knifeplay, breathplay, etc.).

-Byakuya would be into slight choking but nothing serious. Just grab his neck while fucking him and he’ll finish instantly.

F=Fantasy - A fantasy of theirs (ex: a teacher/student fantasy).

-Byakuya dreams of you riding him on his work desk but maybe getting caught by Makoto or letting him watch secretly.

G=Got Caught - How they react when they get caught having sex.

-Byakuya would never be embarrassed if he were caught. He would most likely demand that whomever caught you to leave (unless its Makoto)

H=Hot Spots - A place that drives them crazy when stimulated (EX: neck).

-Thighs. Touch any part of his thigh and he'll get hard. His nape and stomach also drives him crazy when its kissed.

I=Intimacy - How romantic they are, or can be, before, during, or after sex.

-Byakuya is very romantic during sex. I said this in a previous post but sex is his love language.

J=Journey - Their ideal way of leading up to sex.

-Touching EVERYWHERE. He'll rub your sides, kiss you everywhere and then get down to doing the dirty. He’s deep into foreplay.

K=Kinks - I’ll list a few of their kinks, be they the normalized ones or kinkier kinks.

-Crossdressing. He'd either be into a s/o who crossdresses in their freetime or he'd crossdress himself.

-Rough Sex. After a long hard day of work, Byakuya likes to destress with a quick rough fuck anywhere he can get your clothes off.

L=Location -  Where they like to have sex at, do they like risky locations, etc.

-Nothing risky. Usually at places at home. Mostly on the couch or on the bed. Minus that time he got so horny that he fucked you almost unconscious on the balcony.

M=Masturbation - How they are when they get themselves off, what they get themselves off to.

-He rarely gets himself off. Its mostly in the bath or whenever you're not around.

N=NO - A few things that they will absolutely, under no circumstances, ever do.

-Anything hardcore or gross. Don’t ask him, or you’ll be shut down with a harsh no.

O=On’s - Their top turn on’s that they have (things that’ll get them super horny super quickly).

-Your whimpers and whines get him absolutely going. Just whimper while his dick is down your throat and you won’t be able to walk for weeks.

P=Position -  Their favourite position to have sex in.

-Any position in which he could see your face. But he likes the occasional doggy style just to bend you over surfaces.

Q=Quickie - Do they like it, do they prefer quickies over actual sex, etc.

-He doesn't really mind a quickie but he prefers actually making love to you.

R=Rough - How rough they are, or get, when in bed.

-Depending on his mood, Byakuya can be either incredibly rough or extremely gentle.

S=Stamina - How long they can go before they tap out.

-He can do around 3 rounds before tapping out. But thats just consecutively. In a day? Maybe 4-5 times

T=Toys - Do use toys, do they own them, what kind, etc.

-He owns nothing but a Hitachi wand. He uses it on himself occasionally but puts it against the tip of your dick if he’s topping for the day.

U=Unfair - How much they tease you, how they tease you, etc.

-Byakuya is incredibly unfair. He can send perverted messages all day about all the different ways he’d fuck you. Sometimes he might send voice memos of him getting off while by himself.

V=Volume - How loud they get when having sex, things they might say, etc.

-He isn’t loud at all but would let out a few moans here and there. But the profanities that he spews before he finishes? He’d make sure your head is deep in the pillows as he finishes inside of you with a loud “FUCK” slipping through his lips.

W=Wild Card - a random letter for the character of your choice.

-Lets talk abt morning sex and how it drives Byakuya crazy. Wake him up by grinding against his morning wood and prepare to be fucked into oblivion before breakfast.

X=X-Ray - How they look with their clothes off.

-Byakuya is tall and slim with a long torso. His dick has alot of length to it but has some girth too.

Y=Yearning - How often they need to have sex.

-Byakuya needs to have sex whenever he can get his hands on you. Whether he’s topping or bottoming, a good fucking always makes his day better.

Z=ZZZ - How quickly they fall asleep after having sex.

-Byakuya waits until you’re clean and asleep before falling asleep himself.

[aturnoftheearth]

like the idea of a supernatural revival or whatever because any of the following outcomes would be a win, either to further my bitterness or bring me peace:

a. likely: they cut cas out completely, forever cementing him as the worst treated character of team free will (don’t bother with any more polls), and this inevitably leads to some funny tweets/posts about how jensen ackles didn’t want to leave cas out !!!! he actually wanted them to gay kiss on tv !!! but Big CW shut him down again >:( even if they’re not on the CW anymore. hashtag they silenced him.

or

b. more likely: they bring cas back but don’t mention destiel at all. misha collins says for $500 USD he’ll get on cameo and give his own headcanon. fans of him fund it in 20 minutes. it’s 37 seconds long and awful and shallow and he says “dean tells cass to ‘get out of his ass’ again” while winking very explicitly and end recording. insert scenario a for the jackles thing here.

or

c. most likely: cas back, love confession addressed. cas is like “dean i assure you that, above all, i value our friendship.” dean politely says “hey man, you’re my best buddy, and i really appreciate you. you know that, right? alright good talk.” and claps his shoulder on his way out of the frame, leaving cas with the sad yet contemplative look. okay that’s all no more addressing anything UNLESS it’s a multi-episode thing, in which case they include some sort of bait. a potentially longing look-back from dean, a disappointed? resigned? look from him after walking away, etc.

and bonus least-likely but best possible scenario:

d. destiel canon. old mutuals return. content creation  renaissance. this website becomes inhabitable. another 3 years of lovesickness on ye.

[autumnteawithfriends]

I despise CherriSnake and here’s why

Before we begin, something I want to clarify is that I don’t care if you ship or don’t ship CherriSnake. You do you, I’m not here to stop you and neither is this post. I just personally wanted to make a post on why I absolutely hate this ship.

Also, props to @cagneyblooms for helping me come up with some of the points.

REASON#1 - They don’t really work as partners for me

This is more of a personal reason to me, but CherriSnake is one of those ships to me where it feels like they absolutely can’t work out as a couple. Since the pilot is somewhat treated as canon in the show, they make no sense considering the fact that Pentious and Cherri absolutely despised eachother in the pilot. Both of them were locked in a turf war against one another and that hatred was mutual. Yet the show does a complete 180 from that and makes Pentious have this crush on Cherri out of nowhere, likely because Vivziepop wanted a straight HH ship and instead of deciding to just make a different character to pair Pentious/Cherri with or just make a entirely new ship. She just looked at the fandom, saw that CherriSnake was somewhat popular, and decided to make it canon last minute. CherriSnake during 2019-2023 just felt like a joke ship to me or something shippers who ship every character together would make. I mean, CherriSnake practically falls into a TON of popular tropes (Enemies/Rivals to Lovers, Angel x Demon, Girlboss x Goofball, probably way more) I’m not dissing this tropes, I even do these tropes myself with OC x Canon pairings I make. It’s just that CherriSnake felt rushed and last minute.

REASON#2 - They lack chemistry and actual interaction

To be fair, I partially put the blame on both Amazon Prime and Vivziepop for this. Amazon Prime because they only gave HH 8 episodes to really show its story, but I also blame Vivziepop for this. Because not only did she waste whatever time she had with those 8 episodes by showing us useless filler with the Vees and The Overlords instead of actually delving into the main sinners and why they’re in Hell. But she also crammed WAY too much content into 8 episodes instead of giving HH proper pacing.

But onto CherriSnake chemistry, Cherri and Pentious’s regular interactions pretty much prove to me that Vivziepop understands nothing about how actual relationships work and just make their dynamic one sided on Pentious’s part. Let’s be honest, Cherri does not reciprocate Pentious in the slightest considering the stuff she does to him. The shitty two dicks joke aside, not only was the kiss between her and Pentious forced because it was only a “heat of the moment” deal, but she also did this.

(Source: TV Tropes under Sir Pentious’s page)

I get that Cherri isn’t exactly a nicest sinner demon in Hazbin, but this combined with the two dicks joke and the kiss she and Pentious share makes her seem incredibly shallow (which she is considering how rushed this ship is in general) If Hazbin Hotel was like Bojack Horseman like some people claim it is, either these would happen.

A. Cherri realizes she was shallow for only wanting Pentious for his two dicks and never really considered how he felt, either leading Cherri and Pentious staying friends or Cherri breaking it off with him.

B. Pentious calls out Cherri for being shallow, thus giving both him and Cherri some development.

C. Cherri realizes that she only liked the kiss because it was less of them being in love and more of a heat of the moment adrenaline rush.

Or literally anything else. Cherri and Pentious never have a genuine interaction that either doesn’t make Cherri seem incredibly shallow or isn’t comedic.

As for the final reason, it may be a bit of a stretch, but I still think it counts.

REASON#3 - It’s borderline pedophillia

Again, props to @cagneyblooms for making me realize this point. Also, because pedophillia is very much a serious topic + I don’t want to throw the term around. I’ll be providing more evidence than the other two.

I’m not kidding, CherriSnake (atleast to me) becomes borderline pedophillic once you think about the lore Vivziepop spoon feeds us through her livestreams instead of diving deep into it. According to Vivziepop, Sir Pentious was in his mid 40s (best speculated to be 45) when he died while Cherri died in her early 20s, already raising a few eyebrows.

Yeah, this is already gross enough, but something that makes the age gap worse is the difference timeframe in which these two died in. Sir Pentious was confirmed to have died in 1888 London and Cherri Bomb died somewhere in the 80s. So not only was Pentious A GROWN ASS MAN WHO ALREADY HAD LIVED AND DIED BEFORE CHERRI WAS BORN, CHERRI WAS LIKELY BARELY A ADULT SINCE SHE WAS EITHER IN HER EARLY 20s AT BEST OR BARELY IN HER 20s AT WORST! This is also mentioning that Sir Pentious is also technically older than Cherri in Hell because depending on what exact year Cherri died in, Sir Pentious had either already spent nearly 100 years in Hell or he actually spent 100 years exactly in Hell when Cherri died. The only thing that really softens blow is that Pentious got a crush on her when they were both in Hell, meaning Cherri was technically still in her 20s in a way.

To conclude this, I hate CherriSnake. It’s one of the few Canon ships I actually despise since I either don’t care for Canon ships or I actually ship Canon couples as well. Even if Vivziepop wasn’t a terrible person, she’s still a really fucking awful writer who can’t stick to anything at all and is more concerned about her shitty Stoltliz soap opera rather than writing a good story. Writers like Vivziepop are the reason why research makes a good story.

[moistmailman]

Role Swap AU

*Team PRAN (Pyrrha Ren Arc Nora (pronounced as Persian)) is visiting the arc residents during break*

Jaune: Okay, before we meet anyone in my family, just a fair warning. My mother can be……scary, so I’ve been told at least.

Pyrrha: Describe scary.

Jaune: Imagine a grizzly bear with the sentience of a battle tactician and the demeanor of a serial killer.

Pyrrha:……that’s a colorful way to describe your mother.

Jaune: Those are my father’s words.

Pyrrha:….that’s a colorful way to describe your wife.

Jaune: Just don’t let her intimidate you is all. She’ll soften up to you after a while.

Nora: How long is a while?

Jaune: Well, my father told me she first hugged me when I was around 3 so…..

Everyone:……..

Pyrrha: I-is it too late to go back to beacon?

Jaune: Yes. Look, she’s not that bad. I’m pretty sure everyone overexaggerates when they describe her. So let’s calm down.

Pyrrha: O-okay then. If you say so.

*Jaune knocks on the door*

Jaune: Oh, also try not to show weakness in front of her.

Pyrrha: What?!

Jaune: She has a keen sense of sensing weakness in people. Like a 6th sense.

Pyrrha: B-But I have a keen ability look feeble and pathetic though! She’ll single me out immediately! It’ll be like grade school again with Becky!

Jaune: Nonesense, you’ll be fine. Just calm down and relax.

Pyrrha: B-but-

*the door abruptly opens revealing a tall muscular woman that towers over Pyrrha*

Pyrrha: *audibly gulps*

Jaune’s Mother, nodding: Jaune.

Jaune, nodding back: Mother.

Jaune’s mother: Didn’t have any trouble getting here, did you?

Jaune: Nope. It was a breeze.

Jaune’s mother: *grunts*

Everyone:……

Jaune’s mother: So…..which one of you is my son’s partner in Beacon?

Everyone:……..

Jaune, awkwardly coughing: Uh…mother, this is my partner, Pyrr- Pyrrha? *Jaune turns to his right to see his partner’s absent* Pyrrha, where she go?

Ren: She’s kinda koala hugging your back and trying to hide from *looks at Mrs. Arc*….no one in particular.

Jaune, gently scooting Pyrrha towards his mother: T-this is my partner, mother.

Pyrrha, sweating nervously: H-h-hello, Mrs, Arc. I-it’s uhm….it’s nice to meet you.

Jaune’s Mother: *staring intently at Pyrrha*

Pyrrha, awkwardly: M-my name’s Pyrrha…but you already knew that since Jaune just told you it. *awkwardly chuckles*

Jaune’s mother: *still staring*

Pyrrha:……m-my last name is Nikos, by the way. I don’t think Jaune told you- *looks at Jaune* You didnt t-tell her my last name, right? Uhm, just my first name? Or did you tell her my last name too? Am I making a fool of myself ? I-I’ll just be quiet now…..

Jaune’s mother: *stares*

Pyrrha: *sweating nervously*

Jaune’s mother:…..so Jaune, how’s is this……Pyrrha of yours as a leader?

Jaune, smiling: She’s great. An amazing leader. Ozpin even say she’s naturally born to lead.

Jaune’s mother: Really, that’s a lot of praises then. I’m sure Ozpin must’ve had great reasons to choose her as a leader over an Arc then.

*the atmosphere turns abruptly violent*

Jaune, awkwardly: I-I-I’m uhm…I’m sure he did. W-wouldn’t be the headmaster of Beacon Academy if he wasn’t good at his job, right?

Jaune’s mother:….right. So, Pyrrhan-

Pyrrha: I-it’s uhm Pyrrha.

Jaune’s mother: If you and your team have been in the forest for 2 weeks, and everyone is running on 4 hours of sleep, and not having a meal in 16 hours while one of your teammates is incapacitated from an injury as you’re surrounded by Grimm, what will be your first action as a leader to get your team to safety?

Pyrrha, head spinning: Uh……c-could you maybe repeat that?

Jaune’s mom: No.

Pyrrha, awkwardly swallowing: Uh….well, I would need to know what kinda Grimm we’re dealing with firstly.

Jaune’s Mom: Oh?

Pyrrha: Y-yeah, cause different kinds grimms would need different plans on defeating them. I would also need to know who was injured and how. J-just to know who I have to fight at the moment and how severe the injury is.

Jaune’s mom:…….interesting answer.

Pyrrha: I-I answered?

Jaune’s mom: *walks into the house* You guys can come in now.

Pyrrha: D-did….did I do good?

Jaune: She’s…..reluctantly okay with your answer. Glad we managed to meet her during one of your good moods.

Pyrrha: T-this is a good mood for her?!

Jaune: Is it not obviously?

Ren: I thought she was going to turn Pyr-Pyr into a shish kebab at first. From her gaze alone honestly.

Jaune: Well she didn’t though. So this is good news. Let’s meet everyone else in the house then, okay?

*the team walks into the Arc house to be met with a tall blond man with a beard*

Jaune, nodding: Father.

Jaune’s father: Jaune. So, which one of these lucky ladies fell for your arc charm already?

Jaune, blushing madly: WILL YOU QUIT IT ALREADY?!

Jaune’s father: You’re the second eldest in the house! Saphron already gave me a grandson! When will it be your turn!? I have so much extra money to spend on grand babies!

Jaune, blushing even harder: OH MY GODS! SHUT UP ALREADY!

Pyrrha, whispering to Nora: What’s happening?

Nora: I’m not too sure but I think this is a normal occurrence for this house hold. So nothing to worry about.

Pyrrha, nodding: Oh, okay…..exactly why does he think Jaune would go for a girl like me though? Is he trying to make me feel better for the way his wife treated me?

Jaune, in mid rant: EVERYTIME I EVEN LOOK IN THE DIRECTION OF A GIRL YOURE ALWAYS THERE PLAYING MATCHMAKER FOR ME! I CANT STAND IT!

Jaune’s father: Well I’m sorry for trying to help! You should be thanking me honestly! Ungrateful!

Jaune: *groans in anger before continuing ranting*

Nora:……you know what, let’s have this conversation another time maybe. Maybe once you’ll less dense.

Pyrrha: What’s that supposed to mean?

Nora: I’ll answer that question too in the conversation we’ll have in the future when you’re less dense.

Pyrrha: O-okay.



[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hello, it me :D

Idk how you want to structure this or how it's gonna sound when I try to type out what's in my brain rn, I do know that I want this to be a full hc tho

Ok. So. I've seen some art here & there of some of the M6 with their own children; mostly just babies but there are a couple older kids in the mix as well. This is where things in my head get weird so bear with me:

I'm thinking this ask could go three ways (I also don't know if Nadia & Portia will be able to fit in to this ask but it is what it is), and you can do just one of the options or all of them, I'll let you choose:

A. M6 reacting to MC telling them they're pregnant

B. M6 & MC mid-pregnancy preparing for the baby

Or C. M6 getting to hold their kid for the first time

Hopefully this makes sense I think it provides an opportunity for incredible wholesomeness whatever you decide :)

The Arcana HCs: M6 during MC's pregnancy

~ ohoho, now this, this is the kind of prompt that makes my heart sing! @themushroomgoesyeet I hope you're ready because I'm doing all three of those suggestions in here, just you wait >:3 - brainrot ~

Other baby-related hcs: M6 when someone hands them a baby

The M6 when the child they have with you is an exact carbon copy of them

-- for the purpose of these headcanons and because I write for a gender-neutral reader, MC is pregnant with a baby that is equal parts their and their LI's DNA. This could have happened the traditional way (depending on how you envision your MC or if you headcanon your LI as trans), or simply by magical means. For my fellow trans men, seahorse dads are still dads! And to my fellow AO3 readers, mpreg is possible. Always. O.O --

Julian

For the first time in his life, he was well and truly speechless

And delighted. In fact, his speechlessness was because of the unforeseen tidal wave of joy that crashed over him as soon as you told him and it knocked all the air out of his lungs

Pulling you into an embrace as soon as he can move again and trembling with excitement: "Really? You're going to have my baby? We're going to be parents? I'm going to be a father? Haha!"

If he was bad about hovering before he's terrible about it now

Detailed research on all potential issues (which leads to him having crippling spirals over all the ways this could go wrong)

Auntie Pasha and Great-Grandma Mazelinka are here for it and so overwhelmingly supportive. It's hard to resist Julian's regular suggestions of bed rest because they make it so feasible

Mazelinka's soup was heavenly for your morning sickness

Julian collected at least three different remedies for every single pregnancy symptom you had and filled multiple notebooks with doctor's observations. Even down to tracking your sleep cycle

He also called in several favors to make sure that at least two other doctors would be available leading up to your due date - one for you and one for the baby. (he still insisted on being the main one)

He managed the birth impressively well - years of medical expertise kicked in and he went full "doctor" mode, keeping a cool head and open communication and anticipating every need

Until he held his child for the first time and had to sit down because his knees gave out. He has a whole new reason to live well

Asra

You know that panicked blushy face they make? Yeah, that was it

You briefly mistook it for horror - you know he likes surprises, but this is something else - but it was really his own panic at suddenly being plunged into a whole new world of emotion and instincts

Their first motion was to reach out and place their hand over your heart to confirm it through your bond, if only because they couldn't get their words to work and they needed that grounding touch

Once he's collected himself, he's over the moon. Is it terrifying? Sure, but it's also going to be the adventure of a lifetime, and it means building a new future and family with you! As parents!

They want to tell Aisha and Salim about it as soon as you're comfortable because they've done this before, they can help. And also because they’re going to be grandparents

Covers you with enchantments to keep you and the baby safe and happy and keeps a growing list of the most unhinged baby names to make you laugh. Faust likes to gently squeeze your bump

Makes every pregnancy craving you have and tries it with you, no matter how weird. He's got three years of practice being your caregiver and his patience for the mood swings is unending

Spends an hour every night with an ear against your baby bump, listening to them grow and thrive

Offers you every type of pain relief they can find. If not for your sake, then for theirs, because seeing you hurt makes them panic

Holds you the whole way through childbirth, no matter how messy, and stays so reassuring and supportive

Scared to hold the baby at first because he's so shaky from emotions. Won't put it down once he does

Nadia

The news is so unexpected that she just can't believe it at first

As in, her brain is genuinely incapable of immediately processing what you've just told her, so she just finishes her task before running it through her head a second time before it sinks in

The loudest gasp you've ever heard, you see her drop her teacup as her hands fly to cover her mouth and she stares at you in surprise

So happy. So, so, so very happy

She was never going to pressure you into having children. Between her driven nature and her ongoing loneliness, she'd resigned herself to never being a mother after marrying Lucio

But oh my! What a wonderful surprise! There's so much to do, she's slightly worried that nine months isn't going to be enough time

She sends for multiple physicians and invites several of them to live in the Palace through the pregnancy, and begins the interview process for your baby's pediatrician as well. She wants you healthy

Has the time of her life decorating the baby's future room and ends up getting so emotional looking at all the tiny clothes and shoes

Refuses to let you sleep by yourself. She doesn't want you to feel limited on a day-to-day basis at all, but she doesn't like you being alone for too long, especially during such quiet and precious hours

Prefers to hold off on giving her family any news or updates until she's had at least a few days to let it sink it. Each update she does send provokes a tidal wave of letters and advice and offers, not to mention Grandpa Namar's tear-stained letters of excitement

Has to hide sobs when she holds her child and announces its name

Muriel

Straight up disassociates. Not due to any fault of yours, it's just a lot. Especially given his own context for parenting (or lack thereof)

"Muriel, I'm pregnant." soul gets yoinked through the stratosphere

You know him well enough to expect him to need a moment, so you're not surprised when he shakily nods, takes a deep breath, and tells you he'll be back before dark before walking off into the trees

Deeply apologetic once he gets back because in hindsight ghosting you might not have been the most appropriate response

He's happy, if not deeply anxious, but he gets more and more excited with every pregnancy update

He makes the baby's crib himself, seeking out the tree with the best wood, chopping it up, designing and cutting the pieces, carving and sanding and painting them with the utmost care

As your due date gets closer he starts reverting to an old habit of his, waking up several times through the night with a need to keep watch for any dangers or discomforts and make sure you're warm

You wake up to this sometimes, with him sitting quietly next to you in bed, one large hand resting protectively on your belly, a quiet smile on his face as he stares at the cradle on the other side of the room and counts every tiny kick the baby lands on his warm palm

He doesn't hesitate to tell Asra, Nadia, (and yes, Julian) about your pregnancy, because he knows they'll be able to help you in ways he can't. Watching you in pain during birth is almost traumatic for him

Doesn't say a word when you hand him his baby, just looks back and forth between you and them in delight and awestruck joy

Portia

Screams. Legitimate, jaw dropped, lung-deep screaming

Yes it's because she's excited!!! You're pregnant! That's amazing!!

Funnily enough, she doesn't bring up telling anybody else until several weeks have gone by or until you suggest it. She's used to keeping secrets and this is so special she's still finding words for it

She's also more familiar with what pregnancy can look like, and she doesn't want to make any big announcements with you too early

Borderline obsessive about making sure that you're properly fed and cared for. She keeps every snack stocked, gives you massages every night, asks you about any symptoms and offers relief

She ends up inviting everyone over for dinner so you two can break the news to them together, and if one Devorak wasn't loud and emotional enough, two of them are almost too much for the roof

Mazelinka is quick to offer her services, whether that be bringing soup, taking you two (three?!) to Nevivon so the grandmas can help, grabbing one of the grandmas and bringing them here, etc

Pepi develops a new habit of bringing you stolen fish at least once a day to make sure your growing kitten is properly nourished. the smell doesn't help your morning sickness but you appreciate it

Portia cries every time she sits down to work on another onesie or baby blanket or cloth diaper, which is several times a day

When it's time for you to give birth, she holds your hands as tightly as you hold hers and nearly knocks a doctor out of the way to catch the baby

Full-on happy sobbing when she holds them. Gets jealous anytime someone besides you gets to hold them longer than her

Lucio

Assumes you're joking until you tell him otherwise because what

It's not that he's against it, but realistically speaking he knows that one of him is already a lot to handle. And you're cooking another??

Once you convince him, his exuberant yells startle flocks of birds from the treetops in a half-mile radius. Speaking of trees ...

You two are journeymen. Where are you going to settle down?

You end up picking a spot close enough to Vesuvia for your old friends to be able to help, in a town where you know you'll have a fresh start. Buying a cottage is hard when you're used to a palace

Lucio occasionally remembers his mother's comments about how her pregnancy with him made the Red Plague seem like a summer cold, and then he panics about how much pain you must be in

Sits bolt-upright in bed four months in to your pregnancy in a cold sweat because it just hit him that your belly bump is actually an entire tiny human that's half him and half you and it's miraculous

Starts talking to your bump almost constantly after that

Everything from what the dogs are doing, to the right way to start a fire, to the best types of cookies - he's telling it all to the bump

Does he know, logically, that your baby isn't likely to be born missing an arm because of his amputation? Yes. Does he still have an irrational fear of that happening? Also yes.

Has such a hard time controlling his frustration during the birth when you're in pain and there's nothing he can do about it

Wraps his golden arm in a baby blanket and doesn't care about the mess the first time he holds them and presses a kiss to their head

[breathe-2am]

hey idk how to tell u this but the big cliffhanger in s1 isn’t the crew being separated it’s stede going out to find ed when ed has fallen so deep into heartbreak and self-loathing that he’s destroyed stede’s ship and split up their crew. the cliffhanger is about “how will ed and stede fix their relationship after stede broke ed’s heart and ed went off the deep end?”

bc what’s going on with the crew is not the main storyline. the main storyline is the romance between ed and stede, djenks has said this many times. the main plotline is the development of ed and stede’s relationship. the show didn’t “shove most of the characters into 1 minute scenes between much longer gentlebeard arcs” in 2.04, the crew was just part of the B plot that episode, which is to be expected because they are all side characters who are always in B or C plots if they’re not part of the plot with the main characters (ed and stede). the main A plot of 2.04 is ed and stede making up now that they’ve finally been reunited, and the show develops this storyline in a rewrite/adaptation/homage to the play who’s afraid of virginia woolfe.

it’s fine if u don’t like gentlebeard or if your main enjoyment from the show is izzy/the crew, but if that’s the case for you then unfortunately you’re always have a harder time enjoying ofmd bc the writing in the show is always going to prioritize gentlebeard over the other characters. the crew reuniting was always going to be much less important than ed and stede reuniting and making up. that’s what david jenkins meant when he said “the show is the relationship.”

Heyo! I see my meme has breached the side of ofmd tumblr I usually interact with, which is really cool! Thanks for stopping by haha

I think your response is so emblematic of the shift the show went thru from season 1 to season 2- namely, that season 1 was an ensemble show and season 2 was not. Stede was the main character, yes, and he got more backstory and focus than a lot of the crew, but the story of the show in s1 was that it was a bunch of people with conflicting personalities shoved onto a boat together. Stede’s the center, but every other character gets focus as well. This show, by djenks own admission, was not originally intended to be a rom-com romance between stede and ed. He said that he didn’t commit to actually have them be together until filming season 1 episode 6- more than halfway thru the story of the first season, and that it was mainly due to rhys and taika’s acting that made him change it from an unrequited love to a relationship. So while the story is a lot about gentlebeard, saying that every other character is secondary to them and their romance isnt true.

I think a great example to bring up would be season 1 episode 7, the episode that solidifies (via lucius) that yes, this is happening. This is a very relationship heavy episode, but crucially gb isn’t the only focus.

Here's a breakdown: we start w a 1:00 gb scene, then roach comes in asking about the oranges, which leads to a 2:00 scene w the whole crew that sets up the episodes plot (swede has scurvy, we need to get more oranges). Jim protests going to st augustine, which is followed by a 1:00 scene between jim and olu, including a jim flashback. Stede and lucius return with the treasure map, there’s 1:30 more of the whole crew, then we go into the captains cabin for 1:00 of stede, ed, and lucius. 6 minutes into the ep flashes to the crew on land, a 0:50 conversation between jim and olu, then 2:00 of the whole crew, ending then nana invites them all to eat some cake at 8:15. We then go to stede, lucius, and ed in the marketplace until the 9 minute mark (abt 0:45), then back to the church where olu and jim talk to nana for 1:15, including more jim flashbacks. Back to the adventure w stede ed and lucius, which is 2 scenes back to back, totally about 3:00 (the “oh my god this is happening” scene). Then back to the church for jim olu and nana, a 1:00 jim flashback inside a 3:00 scene. Then back to the captains and lucius for 1:30, then to jim and olu, more jim flashback, then the a and b plots converge at the 2:30 mark when jim sees stede digging up their tree. Stede, ed, and lucius exit the scene after 1:30, jim and olu have a conversation for another 1:00. We see the crew leaving, then olu and nana talk, which all takes 2:00. Back on the boat, ed and stede become co-captains in a 0:45 scene, then the final 1:30 of the ep is izzy at jackie’s with 1:30 credits

Gentlebeard: 9:00, whole crew: 5:30, Jim and Olu: 11:35, Izzy: 1:30, credits: 1:30

I would say that s1e7 is the most overtly gb episode before the kiss in s1e9. But as you can see, it’s not just gb. There’s a lot of focus on jim, who gets multiple filmed flashbacks, there’s scenes w jim, olu, and nana, there’s scenes of the whole crew together, stede and ed are really only oncscreen together for abt 9 minutes- not even 1 third of the episode. And this is the ep that says directly to the audience “yes, they have a romance building”. I’m not trying to say w this that every member of the crew needs to b given equal screentime, bc that didn’t happen here obv, but everyone is doing something, and the plot is moving forward propelled by more than just the gb relationship.

Now this is very much changed in season 2.

S2e4 starts with 0:20 of stede waking ed up, then 0:45 of stede and the crew, 0:30 of ed and buttons, izzy’s w the unicorn for 1:00. The crew kick ed off the boat in a 1:15 scene. Now at the 2:25 mark we get to the plots splitting. Ed has a 1:15 scene on land, 0:45 is spent talking to a bunny. Stede and buttons find anne and mary’s antique store after 0:45 of walking. The scene in the antique porch is 2:15. Back to the revenge where there’s a 1:00 scene where wee john, roach, and pete talk about how the kraken crew, lucius, and izzy are different, and the kraken crew thinks they’re plotting to kill them. Already we go back to anne and mary’s where theres various conversations for 3:00. We go back to the revenge for a 0:45 scene where the revenge crew scare the kraken crew and lucius by trying to surprise them. Back to land, where anne and stede and mary and ed talk for 2:00. Back to the revenge for a 1:45 scene w the crews, izzy enters at the 1:00 mark and then crawls away. Well that’s that, we go back to the dinner on land for 1:00, then ed storms out and he and stede have a conversation on the couch for 2:15. Anne and mary reenter, followed by a 3:00 argument that ends with anne burning down the house and they don’t kiss for some reason. We have a 0:20 scene of the crew preparing the unicorn leg, izzy is in his room and received the leg in a 0:40 scene, and well it’s been a whole minute on the revenge, time to go back to ed and stede for 1:00, ed and buttons talk end when buttons turns into a seagull after 1:30. Ed and stede talk for 0:30, and then we end w izzy the new unicorn for 0:45. Credits are again 1:30.

Gentlebeard: 19:50, whole crew: 5:05, Izzy: 3:10, credits: 1:30

To illustrate my point, i made some graphs

You don’t even have to think very hard to see the change in distribution of screentime season 1 vs season 2. And i’d argue that this is absolutely to the show’s detriment, because that ensemble cast is given way less time to shine, grow, or even speak. Notice how for the second chart there isn’t a jim and olu section? Yea that’s cause Jim has 10 lines this whole episode, and Olu has 5. Two characters, whose relationship, backstory, and plot takes up more screentime than gentlebeard’s in season 1, have a combined 15 lines between them, only 4 of which are longer than 1 sentence- 2 for jim, 2 for olu, and those lines are two sentences long. god bless us every one.

I get that there’s a large subset of the ofmd fandom that only cares abt ed and stede. I get that that’s how u find enjoyment in the show, and u know what? All the power to u. I’m not saying stop liking the show, stop liking gentlebeard, stop caring abt these characters. I don’t like gentlebeard, but i used to, and i remember really really loving ed and stede and their relationship in season 1. That changed in season 2 because of ed’s abusive actions and stede pivoting from being an independent character to just basically following whatever ed says (but that’s a story for another day).

But let’s be honest with each other, and with ourselves: season 1 was an ensemble show. Season 2 narrowed its focus to gentlebeard, while also making it (for some people) harder to like. That’s why a lot of people (myself included) didn’t like season 2 as much as season 1.

Also, just to focus back in on the original issue, the meme was not about gentlebeard. It was about Anne and Mary. And there is literally no way you can convince me that they were used as well as they could have been, or that they were implemented into the story in a smart, necessary, or even respectful way.

Because i'm a nice person, i made a brand new updated meme just for u, anon!

:-)

[justkeeptrekkin]

Resurrection and The Second Coming

There is a recurring motif in season 2, and that is the image of resurrection and being raised from the dead. I think this all points to what will happen in season 3 and tie into the Second Coming plot that was mentioned by Metatron. I’m not sure what exactly it’s indicating, obviously, but here are the clues:

1) 25 Lazuri miracle

I enjoyed the reference to Lazarus, and I found it quite striking! It IS interesting, isn’t it Crowley, that Heaven measure miracles by how many times it could have brought someone back from the dead?

And isn’t it interesting that Aziraphale and Crowley, combined, could bring back 25 human lives with a single, half-arsed miracle?

I’m getting the impression that bringing people back to life and the power to resurrect is going to be a bigggggg deal in the future plot.

2) The opening credits

The opening credits have been said to hold a few clues for season 3. One of the things I've noticed is that there’s plenty of apocalypse and hell imagery, none of which we see in season 2. For example, above, we see A and C moving underground, like they’re navigating some route to the underworld. Then we see them leading a growing crowd of people through a very traditional portrayal of hell, with fire and giant spiders etc., through the blitz, through a SPACE (?) and a very modern perspective of the apocalypse, with scrapheaps and riots. 

There’s a LOT to unpack in that, but what I want to focus on here is the concept of the afterlife. We’re presented with an almost Dante-esque, Ancient Greek view of Hell: A and C are walking through dim tunnels to a fiery, wretched view of the underworld. Where is this??? In the show, I mean??? We’ve never seen this version of hell. as far as we know, it has always been the bureaucratic landscape that we’ve seen in S1 and S2. We can assume it’s always looked like this because Heaven has always had the office-style setting since even Job’s time. 

So what are we seeing here? A and C leading people to Hell? Then... walking out of it!? It is very reminiscent of the ancient myths of Greek heroes attempting to bring the souls of their loved ones back to Earth. 

And, notably, we do not see either of them walk through heaven in the opening credits. 

Who are they leading through this opening credits scene and why?

3) Give me Coffee or Give me Death

I don’t actually have a lot to say about this other than there was a lot of emphasis on the name of the shop. Possibly just because it’s a fuckin’ cool name for a cafe... but even Metatron makes a pointed remark about it. 

Call me a tin-hat bitch, but I actually have a feeling that Nina, who is sooooo hyperaware of all the bizarre events going on around her-- to the point that she’s lucid at Aziraphale’s party-- is an angel. I think she was removed from the Book of Life, so no one knows she ever existed as an angel. She seems to have some connection with the supernatural, with Sight, and perhaps, given the name of her shop, the afterlife. 

4) The Resurrectionist and Mr Dalrymple

The whole minisode of The Resurrectionist was bizarre-- I really enjoyed it, but it does make 100% sense that it’s referred to as a minisode. Because it feels oddly separate from the plot (until of course we find out the connection with Beelzebub and Gabriel). Even then, though, it’s a little jarring. 

WHY this particular flashback in history? 

And WHY do B and G meet there in the first place? Out of all the places for them to meet in the universe? 

This is another rather heavyhanded hint towards the concept of resurrection and being raised from the dead. Mr Dalrymple, ethics aside, is using the dead to bring life to others. He’s giving the dead a new lease on life. 

And, listen, I’m a fan of the classics, so the connections to Shelley’s Frankenstein is VERY blatant-- bringing in the question of morality and playing god and the creation of life and modern prometheus and responsibility and resurrection etc. AND Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. (The latter especially in the sense that Stevenson was a doctor from Edinburgh.) 

I just think the minisode is another example of a thread left untied in season 2. 

5) Gabriel’s prophecy

“I remember when the morning stars sang together and all the angels of god shouted for joy.” (A reference to Job, see below)

“There will come a tempest and darkness and great storms. And the dead will leave their graves and walk the earth once more. And there will be great lamentations. Everyday is getting closer.” 

I mean, what else is there to say here? This is explicitly a prophecy about what will happen later in the story-- the dead returning and walking the earth. This HAS to be a reference to the Second Coming, which I talk about more in point 9. 

What if this is hinting at a giant rehaul of heaven and hell? The living and the dead facing true judgement?

6) Zombies in the blitz

Have any of you noticed that we’ve seen plenty of Heaven and Hell, but the only time we’ve ever seen any signs of human beings in said afterlife is with the Nazis? It only occurred to me while piecing this post together, but we’ve never seen anyone in heaven aside from angels. No saints, no good people who went to the good place. In hell we’ve seen lots of shuffling people, but honestly I’ve always thought they were demons. Now, we’re seeing the check-in process in Hell, which I thoroughly enjoyed, but... it’s just occurred to me that it’s the only time we’ve explicitly seen any human afterlife in hell rather than just demons.

What does it mean? Not sure. Perhaps it’s hinting at what will occur in season 3. Perhaps it’s suggesting that there is a major fault in how heaven and hell actually organise human afterlife. Maybe the system is broken beyond the institutional abuse we’ve seen among the angels and demons...

ANYWAY.  

Zombies are undead. Life resurrected. Lazarus kinda. Right? Obvious connection. But what *is* interesting is that these Nazis specifically were resurrected as a part of the plot to survey A and C. Out of all the people to bring to life... they are a pretty depressing and unsettling choice. Even if they’re like, comedically terrible/evil. Eek. 

Lazarus, after all, was supposed to be a good guy. (I think. Jesus brought him back to life after all.)

7) Job’s children

The various versions of this story I’ve looked at have been fantastically vague about what Job heard and what happened to him at the end-- which is, I gather, the whole point. The message appears to be about having faith in God. It’s a test of faith and love for the Almighty. 

But like, even the idea of the children being returned to life is vague. In some versions it looks like he gets his original kids back plus more, in others, it’s not specified. In this version, we see Crowley’s kindness in saving them in the form of metamorphosis (at least temporarily). Job’s children aren’t brought back to life as such, then, but they are returned to Job. In a way, the whole of this series is bringing stories back to life by retelling them on the screen. (Stop it, I know it’s a stretch...)

8) Magic tricks

Ok, so the most famous magic tricks in the book are the idea of DEATH EVADING ESCAPADES! Such as sawing a body in half. Or, in Aziraphale’s case, the bullet catch. 

I dunno where I'm going with this, but it feels relevant. Especially given that there’s the whole scare of ‘oh no we can’t use miracles! I could be discorporated! Then there’s all the paperwork... for RESURRECTION...’

9) The Second Coming

So, I am not all too familiar with the Second Coming. It appears across various religions and interpretations of the scripture. 

My understanding of it is LIMITED even after research, so I would appreciate others chipping in if they can clarify for me and for others. 

- It involves Jesus returning to Earth (often during a time of war and destruction among humans, though not in every religion).

- Jesus’ second coming to Earth will trigger Judgement Day. The living and the dead will be judged on whether they go to heaven or to hell. 

- Some Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that the second coming of Jesus occurs after Armageddon and brings the ‘conclusion of the system of things’. A giant rehaul, I think.  

- For Catholics, the second coming will cause ‘the fullness of the reign of God and the consummation of the universe and mankind.’ What this essentially means is that mankind and the universe get to share in Jesus’ resurrection, so the dead will walk again. Just as God manifested himself through Jesus once, now, God will appear through the whole of mankind and the universe. Personally, I've always appreciated this interpretation of God-- that the Holy Spirit is everywhere and in everything, rather than a person in the sky.

- Catholics also believe that “at the moment of Jesus' arrival, three events will happen all at once in an instant, in the blink of an eye: the living will die, the universe will be transfigured, and the dead will be resurrected, judged, and recompensed. After this single instant or moment, the church does not know what will happen for the rest of eternity - only that the damned will continue to be in hell and the saved will continue to experience the beatific vision.” (thank you Wikipedia)

- Most religions see it is as the final true judgement of God over mankind. 

Conclusions

I don’t know what it all means, but I think it all boils down to the Second Coming, the final judgement, and perhaps a big reshuffle of heaven and hell. 

In my opinion, Heaven and Hell as we know it in the show will be completely deconstructed and reconstructed. I think perhaps Metatron has been the ‘man behind the curtain’, an imposter meddling with mankind, their prophecies, and even the Book of Life. 

Perhaps, all of these little hints are an example of Metatron’s ‘Second Coming’ plan bleeding through whatever reality we’re in.