#these movies better be worth it or I’m suing

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

I just saw a Haikyu post that said “Good Morning to the fandom who’s not getting a season 5” and I would just like to know who I can contact about the trauma I’m currently experiencing 😭

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - A Blah Week

May June 2023 Wk 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 6 of 10 - It’s so damn cute. Seme is still sus... but cute. I didn’t even mind the pratfall since they clearly both wanted to take advantage of it. These two are great kissers - like MaxTul level. I am PLEASED. Meanwhile, sides have a drunken MOMENT. 

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 2 of 10? - I’m enjoying it which is fucking with my head, trash watch here! 

Luminous Solution (Sat Gaga) ep 2 of 6 - Dome has aged so pretty! Do we think the café owner doesn’t want him because he is happy in love? I’m enjoying the high school story arc a lot, and I wish we were just watching that and none of the others (Dome or no Dome). I finally figured it out the actor playing Mai is from Manner of Death.

The Promise (Weds YT & WeTV) ep 10fin - Soap opera brother relationship suddenly? Also more not communicating and more separation? Just bullshit. The best part of the ep was the interstitial cat. It feels like this show dragged on forever I am so glad it’s over and I intend never to think about it again. Full review below (although I pretty much just said it all.) 

Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - no ep this week, no idea why. It better not be because of the ZeeNew freakszoids or I am banhammering with a will. Our Skyy 2 (Bad Buddy & 1k*) eps 13-14 - skipped it this week as it concludes next week so I’ll binge all 4 at once.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - It’s just so good. I say it every week but it IS. Oh the running of the gays trope! Japan1 For us? How thoughtful. Awe, Yutaka’s confession in tiny was the best. SMILEY KISS! It took 3 BLs but Inukai Atsuhiro has finally actually kissed a boy. 

Star Struck (Korea iQIYI & Gaga) ep 5-6 of 8 - Oof this is such a hard show. Too much angst. It is a complicated story worth further analysis, but it’s too much for me and I don’t wanna dwell in it. Also, sweetie, you don’t get to cockblock the boy you rejected then invite him to sleep over, I don’t care how confused you are. Good for Hanjoon for standing up for himself, but holy shizz is this hard to watch. 

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) - Cats are not caretakers. The neighbor is a cutie. Fun convo for a VBL - top/bottom & everything. Faen fatale showed up + a pratfall kiss and frankly I’m finding this show a bit dull now that the charm of the initial premise has worn off.

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - I never know what to say about this one. This was the dark separation doom episode. I was pretty blah over it. I’m just not engaged with this show. 

It’s Airing But ...

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.

Stay (Pinoy ????) 7 eps - It’s mostly in English and set in LA so I’m not bothering to hunt.

Let’s Eat Together AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai (Japan movie) cinema release means no inter distribution. Looks cozy: daily lives of college students and roommates who enjoy meals together, and a v codependent, adaptation of yaoi Let’s Eat Together Aki and Haru. I’ll keep an eye open for it but assume we can’t get it for now.

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa (Japan Sun ????) ep 1 of 10 - NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS and no, I have no idea where to get it, why would I? (Say it with me everyone: Oh Japan, must you?*) 

Ended this week 

The Day I Loved You (Pinoy YouTube) ended. I have been reliably informed it’s better left a DNF.

My Story (Pinoy YouTube) ended. I bounced at ep 4. Someone tell me if I should bother with the rest?

Pure Vanilla (Singapore) - 10 min short on Gaga featuring a cafe, boss/employee, friends to lovers. It’s very sweet. Bit awkward acting. I love seeing real tats on my screen. I wish Singapore would give us a full proper BL. 7/10 RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS 

The Promise (Thai YouTube) - Although well acted this show dragged a too simple premise out into the ultimate manipulative miscommunication repeats of idiotic "why don’t you just TALK!?” Phu & Nan are childhood bffs through college (almost lovers) until Phu disappears. After looking/waiting for him, Nan gives up and self isolates, and the actual story takes place 10 years later. Phu’s “reason” and inability to say it out loud makes the whole show just frustrating, squandering good chemistry, and a stellar cast of multiple faen fatals (whose personalities would’ve made them better boyfriends). Seriously do not bother. What a damn waste of talent, time, and electronic bandwidth. Fatally flawed. 4/10 NOT RECOMMENDED 

Okay it ended a while ago but I finished it:

Make A Wish (Thai grey) - 6 part PNR (from Sammon - Manner of Death & Triage) about a doctor who can see the dead and strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love. Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not Ohm, but who cares bc Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay af and has a fag hag bestie and everything. The cast is excellent but the comedic stylings are too overblown and tonally off. It had sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency. 8/10 RECOMMENDED 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting:

6/7 Love Tractor (Korea iQIYI) 8 eps - announced in 2022 from WATCHA (Semantic Error) I've been WAITING for this one. About a stressed-out law student who family obligations force into the countryside where a series of strange encounters and misunderstandings with his hunky young farmer neighbour. Will this be an extended version of Strongberry’s Some More? Or Korea’s take on Restart After Come Back Home? I'm chuffed. Country boy meets city boy is a very underused romance trope in BL.

6/9 Boys Love Omegaverse AKA The Boys Love sequel no one asked for (Japan movie) - everyone jockeyed to release the first ABO but it looks like Japan will take it. They do like to do all things BL FIRST. This seems to just be borrowing the branding of Boys Love, showing little resemblance to either original, since it's about 4 men in an idol group. (But could go very dark with that title. Boys Love is technically the first and one of the darkest BLs ever made.) Movie+Japan = no inter distribution.

Still Coming June 2023 

6/15 Tokyo in April AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Gaga) 8 eps - Based on a yaoi, this is a reunion romance that takes place in an office. Japan does Our Dating Sim? Yes please.

6/22 About Us but Not About Us (Pinoy movie from 2022 on Prime) - A professor grieving the loss of his partner meets an ambitious literature student.

6/24 Why You (Khmer BL ????) - Billed as a horror romance, not sure if this is a movie or a series where it will air... nothing except that it exists.

6/24 Tie The Knot AKA Under the Same Sky (Pinoy movie on Prime) Trailer - I guess Prime is coming for our Pinoy BL? From OXIN Films (Rainbow Prince), announced for 2022 based on a true story, Briggs's family runs a bridal business but he has never had a chance to fall in love until he meets Shao, a groom to be.

6/25 Dinosaur Love (Thai iQIYI) Trailer 5 eps - from Ultimate Troop about a uni student, Rak, whose partner cheats on him with Rak's best friend. This gives bad boy hazer Dino an opportunity to hit on Rak at last. From The Yearbook people so I will not watch this as it airs. After Remember Me? Never again with them.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

From Make a Wish. 

Found my side dish. (Be My Favorite)

We asked this question literally the ENTIRE show. (The Promise) 

My point exactly! 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? BTOB on Killing Voice - honestly I’m ded, end this show, no one else can ever be this good. 

[mephinomaly]

[TL] BIOHAZARD/Chapter 5

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Time: That night

Location: In living quarters of the AIIE experiment grounds

Rei: Uwaa, we’re having a sleepover with all of UNDEAD~♪

Fufu. The SS preliminaries was the perfect opportunity for one, but Kaoru-kun was thrown into a desert and separated from us.

I’m happy that the four of us can have a sleepover together peacefully– gah!?

Koga: ...

Rei: Koga? Don’t throw an omanjuu at me? Is this your way of telling me you want to play?

Koga: Stop bein’ so happy-go-lucky, vampire bastard. The hell you mean, pajama party.

Rei: Oya, how nostalgic. Could this be that you want me to call you ‘wanko’ for the first time in a while?

Koga: I ain’t callin’ you that for nostalgia purposes, I’m insultin' you.

Rei: How troubling. Please don’t take your frustrations out on me.

We’ve all given our consent to take part in this experiment.

We can’t complain now, can we?

Koga: We was basically forced to? If it hadn’t been us, it woulda been like, Ra*bits who haven’t done nothin’ wrong.

Then we’d hafta live with the knowledge that them lot are now the victims whilst we watch from the sidelines.

It’s better for our own mental health to just do it for real, right?

‘Cos I don’t like this at all. Don’t forget that.

Kaoru: Ahaha. It’s definitely a little off putting and shady sounding, but it makes for an interesting story, right?

AI idols and stuff– no, technology and science in general has come a long way. Really, it’s like an old sci-fi movie.

If this was just a movie, or even just someone else’s problem, I think it could have been a lot of fun.

Adonis: I also don’t feel great about this but I am interested in terms of the development of science and technology.

This is the future we thought of when we learnt about Voc*loid and drawing AIs, and it’s becoming a reality right in front of our eyes.

We’re now living in a near sci-fi world that people from the past could only imagine.

It’s like a dream, whether that’s a good or a bad thing.

I’m excited.

Kaoru: Ahaha. That totally has the vibe of a boyish heroic novel.

I don’t particularly like that sort of thing either. At the end of the day, I’m still the son of an academic who reached for the sea in search of romance and mystery.

Adonis: I also dislike jumping into areas I don’t know about.

Rei: If we think realistically, if we had refused to take part, there was the likelihood of RhythmLink turning their backs on us.

I suspect they would be rather unpleasant in the matter.

This is a necessary step so we are not thrown to the side. The compensation is rather impressive, and, in simple terms, profitable for us.

Well, we made quite the sum of money during the SS, so we have some to spare.

If an experiment such as ‘AI idols’ is successful, implemented, and announced to the world, won’t they look to us as we were the test subjects? Doesn’t that make this all worth it?

Koga: But this doesn’t solve the problem we’re havin’. They’re just killin’ time, it literally has nothin’ t’do with our situation.

This better not turn into a goose chase, wastin’ time runnin’ ‘round lookin’ stupid.

Rei: Umu. We should all brainstorm some ideas in order to solve the root of the problem, as Koga said. Fortunately, we have been blessed with plenty of time to do so.

Kaoru: Mmm… I was kinda on guard when they said experiment, but if they’re just asking us to stay the night here?

Rei: Umu. We will be given medicine, which will cause us to sleep for about half a day. In that time, via the devices connected to our heads, data will be collected and compiled.

During the time we are not asleep, we will exercise to prevent our bodies from weakening, and eat to keep up our energy levels. Let’s all get on, the four of us.

The testing period will last approximately one week. During this time, any other forms of work are banned, as the extra stimulus may skew the results.

Our phones will be confiscated, and we will be separated from the outside world.

Kaoru: Kinda feels like being a prisoner or a hospital patient… Welp, this’ll be easy money if all we’ve got to do is laze around.

Rei: Umu. I suppose we can take it easy. We will be paid regardless as to whether the experiment produces useful results or not, so it’s not a complete waste of time.

Fortunately, this location is better than a hospital or a prison.

Look, there are some cards and board games we can use to kill time. Let’s play until it’s time for us to sleep.

Koga: Ain’t you bein’ too relaxed ‘bout this whole thing?

Rei: That’s a good thing, is it not? I’ve been acting unusually mature since my youth, so I do not have many experiences like this. Such as having a sleepover with friends of the same age—

That’s why. I can’t be sure of the future, but I know I am very happy right now ♪

[ ☆ ]

Chapter 4

Chapter 6

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

100% The OG She-Ra is worth it. I’ll admit, it’s kinda corny, and some of the episodes do drag on a bit. But that’s not a bad thing. The corny bits make it fun, and the pacing gives you time to breathe a bit. That being said, this show has a lot of good stuff. The women are powerful af. Not EVERY girl is a tomboy (I noticed there seemed to be a lot of negativity with the feminine characters in the reboot). The men are respectful af. The idea of forgiveness and growth is MUCH better written. The war feels like a war in a very realistic way (not always over the top destruction, but there are legit slaves, book burnings, and tax increases. Realistic.) There we’re even plans to have EVEN MORE diversity in the show. Huntara was going to be black and based off of Grace Jones! And a lot of production art gave Bow, Frosta, and Hordak prosthetic arms. I’ll give them a pass though on not going through with them since animation was rather limited at the time, so I could definitely see that as an issue. But Hordak DOES sport a mechanical arm in the pilot/movie, so you could easily just imagine he got a more realistic looking one later on. And Glimmer is said to have a gem imbedded in her palm. Sure, it could be in her actual hand, but I like to think it’s just a realistic looking prosthetic hand with the gem in it. And I’ll give them a pass on Huntara too, since having her be dark skinned risked them getting sued for her ‘looking too much like Storm from the X-men’. So I get why they changed it, but on the plus side her features are still very much based in a black woman. Also, Netossa isn’t an aggressive, paranoid, borderline stereotype which gets ignored in every scene she’s in. Yes, she was only in one or two episodes, but at least she had a part to play when she was there. Bonus points, it’s heavily implied Spinnerella and Netossa were gay back then too. Netossa was going to sing a song called ‘Spin Into My Heart’ but it was cut for time. Entrapta isn’t there that much, but she’s treated much better when she is. She’s obviously not autistic in this version, but I’m pretty sure Perfuma could easily be seen that way instead. Anywho, that’s just some of the reasons I really like the old show. Sorry it’s so long. 😅

thank you for this! i'll definitely check out the og version then, it certainly sounds a lot more well-written and progressive than the reboot!

[yesimwriting]

Business Practical

A/N debated writing this bc i already have so many things in my draft i want/need to finish but the new Elvis movie has completely taken over my mind. Austin Butler’s Elvis only though, real life Elvis is super sus. Also this may not be perfectly historically accurate,, but we’re accepting that bc it is not that deep and not worth my stress!! Also this taught me that I will never understand the spelling of ‘colonel’ like it just doesn’t sit right with me. 

Summary: After the release of your hit single, you think that the rest of your career is set. Or at the very least, you’re guaranteed an easy release of your next album. Too bad your label thinks your record’s going to fail if you don’t find someone famous enough to record a duet with you. Fortunately for you, your squeaky clean, America’s newest sweetheart image is just the kind of thing Elvis needs around him to protect himself from his own controversy. (i set this up to have a part 2 but i’m on the fence about it lol, so ig if you’d like to be tagged lmk) 

Update: Chapter II  

Y/n’s POV

I may not know everything, but I know music. I know my music, and I know I know how to perform my music. That’s the only reason I’ve never experienced stage freight when it comes to performing. Because of that, people assume that I’m confident all the time. Now, I’m not one to shy away at the drop of a hat, but my nerves have been tangling my stomach since this morning. 

Will had made it sound like the easiest thing in the world when he pitched his idea in my living room. The label’s sending you to his show, you’ll be escorted backstage right after. It’ll be easy for you since we both know you don’t know how to take ‘no’ as an answer. Everyone in my house was ecstatic. Sure, there’s controversy around him, but no one can deny his talent and success. 

I might be pushy when I need to be, but it’s not like I can strong arm a phenomenon into recording a song with me. I insisted that he’d be better suited for this. Will is a professional and he looks the part. I still feel like a child whenever anyone starts talking business. Will said that was all the more reason to go. It’d be a learning opportunity and feel much more natural.

Maybe I would have fought him harder on it if he hadn’t dangled those tickets in front of me. Everyone in my house knows how badly I wanted to see Elvis perform. 

I didn’t think this through. His performance was as captivating as I thought it’d be, which is a bad thing. There is no way I can go backstage and ask him to record a song with me. I know that his manager is expecting something, but I don’t think they’re picturing me. There’s a good chance that I won’t even get backstage--I look like most of the other girls here. 

“Y/n, you alright?” I can feel Maisie’s cool fingers on my forearm. “He’s definitely back there, and I think you should hurry before you miss him.” 

I’m frozen, not even my best friend’s voice is enough to snap me out of this. “I can’t.” 

“What do you mean you can’t? He was amazing, and you saw the way the crowd reacted, he’s perfect for--” 

“I know, that’s exactly why I can’t.” She doesn’t release my arm. “He’s like a real famous person and I--I thought coming to the show would be fun, and it was, but now I can’t stop thinking about how good he was and--” 

Maisie’s walking forward, pulling on my arm as she moves. “I have never seen you scared to do anything.”

“Maisie,” I sigh, trying to resist her, “This is different. This isn’t some school presentation or even performance. It’s--ugh, it should have been Will. He’s the professional.”

She’s completely ignoring me. Maisie continues to walk, forcing me to take a few steps.  “You don’t need Will, you don’t need anyone. Now go back there and don’t take no for an answer.”

I start walking, but Maisie doesn’t release me. I guess it’s fair, a part of me still wants to escape. With each step towards the back of the venue, my stomach drops a little more.

Maisie’s confidence can’t be faked, because she’s not even bothered by the security guard that’s standing in front of the door that leads to the backstage area. She continues forward like the large man in black isn’t going to attempt to stop her. 

He does, of course, he’d be terrible at his job if he didn’t. Two young girls who just have to have a word with Elvis Presley after his show, that’s not suspicious at all. 

“Excuse me, ladies, you can’t come back here.” 

Even now, Maisie remains determined. “You should be expecting her.” 

The man looks me over with little reaction behind his eyes. “I’m here on Will Walters’ behalf.” 

He blinks at me. “You his daughter?” I shake my head, preparing to explain the situation. “Niece, then? Distant cousin?” 

“No, sir, I--” 

“Oh my,” a voice gasps, “Y/n  L/n.” A girl I’ve never met before with styled mousy brown hair. “I heard your radio interview the other day! And don’t even get me started on your song!” She turns towards the security guard before I can speak. “Let her in, David, and her friend, too.” 

Maisie squeezes my arm gently. The security guard, David, looks me and Maisie over again, and then he steps out of the way. Being recognized by someone because of my music has brought back some of my confidence. 

I approach the girl that waved me in. “Thank you for that.” Part of me wants to let her know how much she’s actually helped me, but that feels awkward, especially considering the way she’s looking at me. 

“Oh, don’t even think twice about it.” with a flick of her wrist, she dismisses it all. “If someone like me’s allowed by here, someone like you should be more than welcomed.” 

“Someone like you?”

She smiles politely, “I’m not anything special, I just follow the tour around. I’m dating someone in the band.” I nod, following her as she begins to walk. “My name’s Annette.” 

“Oh, I’m Y/n, but you already knew that.”

“And I’m Maisie.” 

“Well, nice to meet you both.” She pauses long enough to give me a chance to look around. For a private space, it’s surprisingly crowded. I guess that makes sense when you factor in how many people probably have to work on the show and how many have girlfriends and family members in the area or on tour with them. “Now, you must be here t--” 

Everything, including Annette’s voice, fades into the background. It all blurs into white noise that I don’t care to distinguish because now that I’m looking at him, everything else feels like it doesn’t matter. I thought most of his enthralling nature came from his stage presence, but now that he’s only feet away from me he’s just as attention drawing, and somehow even more attractive now that I can really see his facial features. 

Of course his presence would melt away the tiny bit of confidence of developed, reducing me into the fan girl that can’t help but squeal at his existence. I clamp my mouth shut to avoid falling prey to my destiny. Look away. Stop staring. I don’t seem to have enough self control because my gaze remains frozen. 

At least he hasn’t noticed...and he’s turning his head. Of course he’s turning his head, anyone could sense the kind of staring I’m subjecting him to. It’s only when our eyes meet that I find the strength to look away. But those few seconds of actual eye contact...I could write an entire song just about the blue of his irises and the chill that just ran through me. 

Maybe I’m not insane, maybe he has this kind of affect on everyone. Maisie moves to grab my forearm, which is a good indicator that she’s seen him to. “He’s over there,” she whispers. 

Okay, she sounds shocked and slightly in awe but nowhere near as mesmerized as I am--was, because I’ve snapped out of it, and I’m going to stay that way. I can’t imagine seeing Will again and telling him the reason I didn’t ask his question to Elvis is because he was cute I just couldn’t get the words out.

“Yeah,” I nod, dropping my head, “I see him.” 

Annette hums once. “Oh, that makes sense.” 

Heat runs through my body. “Oh, no--no, it’s not--” My stuttering isn’t convincing her, and it’s not like that’s unfair. “My manager actually set all this up--” 

She nods, “Go on up and talk to him. He’s real nice, not too egotistical like some of the other singers I’ve met.”

I can feel Annette’s warm eyes on me and Maisie’s still squeezing my forearm and everything feels like it’s rushing to my head. “Okay,” I say, making absolutely no effort to move. 

Maisie’s hold on me loosens. “Y’know, hon, to talk to him you’re gonna have to walk up to him.” 

Good point. I mean he’s just standing there, and the person he’s talking to is walking away. I pull my arm away from Maisie while rolling my eyes. “I would’ve never guessed.”

I start walking forward, forcing myself to take even breaths as I approach him. He turns to face me a little quicker than I expected him to. My mind goes blank, no coherent sentences forming in my mind. 

My mouth opens. “Hi.” Really? 

The corner of his mouth turns upwards, like he’s trying to keep something in. “Hello, Miss...” 

He’s offering me a space to provide my name, but before I can speak, a low sounding squeak interrupts us. 

“You’re her,” a soft voice gasps, “Oh, you’re as cute in person as you were in that magazine photo.” 

My smile feels awkward. The last thing I need right now is for Elvis to think I staged something to make myself look like a bigger deal than I am. Will has some connections and after my song took off, I did two interviews, both different magazine features. “Thank you, that’s kind of you to say.”

“I love your song,” she continues, her voice raising enough to catch the attention of others near us. “Is it true you wrote it yourself?”

I struggle to not fidget. “Yes, I--” 

“Aren’t you the July song girl?”

My posture straightens under the new scrutiny. “Yes, that’s my song--”

“Oh when is your album coming out?” 

My lips part, but I have no good way to answer that. “If everything goes well, soon--” After that, the voices of a cluster of strangers beat me out. 

“How’d you get your hair like that in your magazine shoot? I’ve been trying for days, but--”

“Do you dress yourself? I love the modern modest look with all that lace detailing, it’s--” 

“Are you and Elvis together? You’re both--” 

“Your makeup--”

“When’s your next song coming out?” 

I swallow. This is what rabbits must feel like when they’re trapped by predators. Where’s Maisie when I need her? She’s under no obligation to be polite to anyone and has more than made it clear that she has no problem telling people to give me some space.

“Hey,” the deepness of Elvis’s voice cuts through all the overlapping rambling with practically no effort, “Let’s give Miss July here some space.” 

He places a warm hand on my shoulder. I dig my nails into my palms to avoid melting. With all the confidence in the world, he guides me away from the semi circle that formed with no notice. Elvis keeps his hand where he first put it as he leads me down a narrow hall. I can’t see Maisie but I know I’ll never hear the end of this. 

Elvis stops in front of a wooden door and opens it casually. He leads me inside, lets go of my arm, and moves to sit on a stool in front of a lit vanity. It takes me a moment longer than it should to realize we must be in his dressing room. The reality of the situation crashes into me--Elvis Presley just walked me to his dressing room and closed the door behind him.

Okay, I’m being kind of ridiculous. He took me here to save me from having to answer a thousand questions. A thousand questions that people were asking me backstage at his concert. “I am so sorry Mr. Presley, I don’t even know what happened back there. I swear I--” 

“I’m just surprised someone managed to pull away that much attention from me.” The corner of his mouth tilts upwards again. Okay--he genuinely doesn’t seem mad. “No need to apologize for keeping me humble, but if you’d like to make it up to me, I’d appreciate it if you told me how you managed that, Miss July.”

His easy going words paired with that half smile of his are enough to almost make me forget why I’m here. Almost. “Well, I should probably start off by letting you know my name’s not July. It’s Y/n L/n.” His expression still hints at just barely being amused. “That girl was just referencing the title of a song I--” 

“So you’re a singer?” 

The assumption feels false coming from someone like him. I fold my hands in front of me. “Trying to be, at least.” 

“Considering the way people reacted out there, I’d say you’re doing a little more than just trying.” 

The implied compliment warms my chest, but I’m here on a mission. “I’ve only released the one song.” My hands unclasp, falling uneasily at my sides. “That’s actually part of the reason I’m here. Well, at least the reason I’m backstage here, I wanted to come see your show before I’d even really written anything.” Shaking my head briefly, I take a settling breath. “I’m rambling, sorry, everyone at home’s always calling me out for it.” I try to force a polite laugh, but I think it comes out as more of a sigh. “I um--there’s kind of a long story about my label and my manager that I should probably preface what I’m about to say with, but I know you’re a busy man, so I’m just going to say that my manager sent me here to ask if you’d be willing to record a song with me.” 

I feel myself deflate as the question comes out. My own words sound beyond childish and naive in my own ears. What could he possibly get from recording a song with me? One radio popular song is nothing compared to what he has. Even with all the controversy surrounding him, he can fill up any venue he books.

His silence forces me to hold my breath. “Like a duet?” 

“If you’d be willing, but I realize who you are and the kinds of things you’re working on and Will, my manager, just insisted I give it some kind of chance, so I did.” I nod awkwardly, taking a step back. “I won’t take up anymore of your time, Mr. Presley. Thank you.” 

My hand reaches for the door handle of the dressing room. This may be the most mortified I’ve ever felt. I’m never listening to Will again. From now on, business is business and performing is performing. He takes care of his end and I take care of mine.

“You gonna give me a chance to answer before runnin’ off on me?” His words come so suddenly I almost convince myself I imagined them. 

I release the door handle. “Does that mean...you’re considering something?”

Elvis pauses, studying my expression. “It means I’m considering considering something.” 

That’s more than I thought I’d get. “Really?” 

“Anyone that can cause such a stir up with a single song’s worth consideration, Miss July.” 

The fact that he called me that again makes something in my stomach flutter. “I really appreciate that, Mr. Presley.”

“If you wanna work together, you should get used to the idea of calling me by my first name.” 

The invitation is coy, edged by his sharp blue eyes and something else I can’t distinguish. “You’re right. Thank you, Elvis.” 

He smiles a little easier at that. “Now, I can’t promise anything, I’d need to talk to my manager and then depending on that he’d talk to yours and then they’d try to work out the legalities for both our sakes.” 

“I owe you a thank you regardless. Thank you for not laughin’ me off and thank you for pulling me outta there when I didn’t know what to say.”

Elvis’s expression isn’t easy to read. “Like I said, no need to thank me.” He hesitates before searching the vanity for a spare scrap of paper and writing utensil. He finds an old receipt and a pen after a minute. “Just leave your contact information and then your manager’s.” 

I barely manage to take the pen from him in order to give him what he needs. After that, I say a quick goodbye, not wanting to give him a chance to regret his actions, before leaving. 

I close the door behind me when I leave. There are a million things I should probably be thinking about, but the only thing on my mind is getting back to Maisie and telling her everything.

----

Narrator’s POV

----

The Colonel and Elvis were back at it again, discussing how to turn anything into ‘snow’ in order to move Elvis’s career even further forward. After all, his ability to keep his audience entertained isn’t enough to combat large scale public opinion or keep him out of jail.

Though their conversation veered away from long term strategy in favor of discussing new merchandise and tour opportunities. Elvis even managed to bring up that girl, the one with the soft appearance that seemed like a magnet to everyone in her presence. He mumbled her request to The Colonel, expecting it to get brushed off. 

It’s a shame in a sense, the girl, y/n, seemed as warm as the July from the title of her song. He liked the idea of having the excuse to reach out to her. He kept that receipt, tucked it into the pocket of his pants the second she left the dressing room. 

“The girl--is she the same one that had all those people after her?” Elvis nodded, unsure about his manager’s interest. “Her manager told me she was coming. He didn’t give me any specifics. I wonder if that was planned or if he wanted to leave it up to us.” 

Elvis sat up a little straighter. “Are you saying you think it’s a good idea?” 

Tom Parker shrugged. “You know music and I know snow, and with you, that girl could be turned into a blizzard while she fixes our problems.” 

“I’m not following.” 

“I saw her in the newspaper. She wears knee length skirts and she smiles when she’s supposed to smile. She’s what America wants to love, you are what they do love. Paired together, America feels like they can love you.” Elvis drew his eyebrows together, still confused. “She could be the treatment your image needs.” The colonel stopped, playing through ideas in his head. “I need to make a call and I need you to trust me.” 

[theflagscene]

Of course the walkie talkie kicks back in just in time to hear the dingbats fall over and yell. Oh you’re not that badly injured, Tan, suck it up! A couple scrapes is nothing. Hopefully Top is dead, how fun would that be!? I wanted him to be the next to go, he was super annoying.

Fluke you sus as fuck, what the fuck did you little bastards do to Non!? I stg it better be something worth all this build up and not just like your basic bullying, weird thing to wish but seriously, they’re playing it up like they strung the kid up by his toes and tortured him Jigsaw style. So I will be disappointed if it was just typical ‘alpha male’ high school bullshit. I mean, sure, those types of guys deserve to get their asses handed to them. But I’m thinking like The Glory ya know? Now those bitches deserved what was coming to them, ya know? That was evil.

Anyway! yes, lil White be the smart one in the house, please and thank you.

Listen, Top wore a wallet chain in 2023 okay, he deserves to be a victim a horror movie. That shit was a sign of douchebags back in the 90’s, it’s even worse now.

I love how annoyed Phee looks whenever someone brings up a ghost or curse lol, he looks like he wants to slap a bitch.

Oh wonderful, a fucking gun, just what this group of idiots needed to add to the mix. White my dear, do you even know what a safety looks like to check that it’s on before shoving into the back of your shorts? That’s a good way to shoot off an ass cheek.

[aftout]

Sorry for SU posting on main I’m aware that it’s, like, a show and a half when it comes to thinking critically about media but with its recent resurgence on certain platforms I’ve been pondering like a bitch over one topic specifically and it’s just??

I love, love Rose Quartz’s character. It’s a hot take I know but I truly love what the series did with her, as rushed as it was at times. Rose is so important to me because she is what Steven Universe is all about: growth, forgiveness, and change.

There’s the obvious: she went from presenting herself as a diamond to presenting herself as a quartz. She changed her name. She moved from homeworld to Earth. She went from surrounding herself with the other diamonds and their colonies to surrounding herself with humans and the crystal gems. But even outside of all the things that are presented to you surface level, her entire existence and personality revolves around changing.

The earliest stage of her that we see in the show is, iirc, the dream sequence where Stevonnie is in her position (on that abandoned command center) with Connie’s mom replicating Yellow Diamond. Rose was, at that point, a literal child. Though not in consecutive order, we see how Rose goes from a spoiled, overly emotional, and even abused kid to this levelheaded, grown woman. And that is literally what the show is all about. I keep saying this over and over again but she is so integral to SU’s overarching theme. She’s imperfect, both as a gem and also as a person, but like? She persists and moves forward. She’s so human.

Even in context of design, her quartz form looks substantially more humane than most of the other gems do. She mingles with humanity constantly and even goes as far as to give birth to a (mostly) human son. She is messy. The rubble of it all means a lot to me because I feel like SU did a good job at portraying just how ugly trauma can be. We really see this in Future, where Steven has an onscreen meltdown and finally cracks under several seasons’ and a movie’s worth of trials and tribulations. It’s really interesting to me because I feel like, in that story arc, we really see that he is his mother’s son.

I don’t think it’s outlandish to say that SU does touch on themes about generational trauma. Rose has her baggage from her days as a diamond, and clearly though she tried her best to grow and break the cycle, there were a few bumps and bruises that got passed down onto Steven. He then goes on his own journey to heal and break the cycle himself. Hell, both of their stories even end with them leaving Greg and the Crystal Gems behind; and though Steven doesn’t sacrifice himself in the way that Rose did, there is still that feeling of moving on and accepting the next stage of life: whether it be finally allowing oneself to grow up or, well, die.

These themes of growing up are found in the Spinel debacle, as well. Rebecca Sugar themself said that a lot of Spinel’s character was based off of this situation they found themself in where they left a toy rabbit they had in the garden, forgot about it, and then found it again six months later. They described it as “wondering how they could be so careless over something they thought they loved so much.” It’s rough because, unlike Sugar’s stuffed rabbit, Spinel is sentient. But even then, throughout the movie she is described as Pink’s toy. Symbolically she captures what it’s like to grow out of toys you once loved as a child. And then, at the end, she is taken in by the other diamonds to reminisce over who Pink once was; much like how parents may keep old stuffed animals their kids owned as a memory.

Idk. At this point I’m fully rambling (I had better points when I was talking to myself about this and making myself cry), but I just. Yeah. Rose is such a wonderful character to me. Her humanity and imperfection means a lot. I think it’s cool to have such a nuanced character be shown in children’s media, and seeing her development is genuinely fascinating. I think she really shows that beauty isn’t necessarily found in one’s pain, but in the strength they withhold to power through it. Does that make any sense? Idk.

[hazelcephalopod]

My thoughts on “The Bastard Son and the Devil Himself”. Firstly, when I turned this on I thought it was a movie so when it turned into 8 episodes I was pleasantly surprised. Also, I give it a solid 7/10 overall.

The good: the vibes were excellent and the score fit the story really well. It has this dreamlike quality to it that sorta makes it feel like a fairytale in a good way. A gory, dark, OG fairy tale. I liked all the protagonists and plenty of the side characters. The world-building was unique and intriguing. The plot cohered sufficiently, and left me wanting more. Enjoyed it quite a lot. Also of course queer characters and a non-white protagonist!

The “bad”: now I put that in quotation marks because I’m not sure it was truly bad or just “wtf” things. The villains, particularly Jessica are a bit much sometimes. That said I don’t hate the show just letting some characters be evil, and it almost strayed into campy villain fun so could be less “bad” for some.

The mixed bag: the Fairborn’s are pretty terrible. Watching Nathan have to grow up under them and their extreme prejudice was rough tbh. Also, making him sleep in a cage was a bit much. My main reservation is I fear they won’t just let them be the bad guys. Even thought they are, for instance when Marcus goes to negotiate with them -likely under false pretenses which I have not determined my thoughts on- their opening pitch is “give up all your customs and obey us or else”, mixed with their extreme prejudice feels pretty sus to say the least. There seems to be a long-standing feud between the two groups, if it even gets another season (hopefully) that could be a little dicey.

The could have been better: this is pretty minor but Gabriel is supposed to be 19 (in the show there’s evidence somewhere) and the actor truly does not look 19. But… few if any characters look like their characters age. Just felt it worth mentioning, but it’s a TV show have you seen Riverdale? Idk I once knew a 17 year old who looked 30, also they have magic so eh. Also… not entirely clear in the show if the difference between the two witch groups go far beyond just political/ideological differences, healing a bit faster and having the heart eating power (s/x) are not big imo -that could be all and it’s ok, mainly I’d just like some clarity going forward, it’s not that terrible or anything.

[blondrichclosetwitch]

Your children are here to tell you:

Do something new

Laughing all the way to the bank

It's a life or death situation To the girl with the hair like spun gold

I don't wanna dance with the Devil But do you mind if I tap my foot?

Am I missing something?

Is it something good?

You’re killing me john

(S)He said, "Please don't go away"

I said, "It's too late"

“And now I can't stop thinking That I almost gave you everything. And now the whole thing's finished and I can't stop wishing That I never gave you anything.”

Something wrong something not quite right

“What have they done to the Earth?”

“You think I’m psycho don’t you mama? You better let them lock me up.

I woke up in Johnny's room, Mama

Standing right there by his bed w/ my hands around his throat, Mama,Wishing both of us were dead

You know that little girl next door, Mama?

Oh, don't tell that she's dead, Mama

Cause I just saw her in the park

We was sitting on a bench, Mama

Thinking of a game to play

Seems I was holding a wrench, Mama

And then my mind just walked away.”

Somehow you’ve become some paranoia

I testified, my mama cried

I never saw a way to pay a sap to read the law, then become a victim of a lawyer.

Don't know ya, never saw ya

Tape cued, getting me sued

Playing games with my head, what the judge said

We just had the quarrel that sent you away

An Angel with apple blond hair now

An inbuilt guilt catches up with you

So dark and deep, the secrets that you keep

I am just like a child lost in the woods

I yearn for the truth that you know

let’s stay together

I love myself better than you

Somewhere I have heard this before

As a defense I’m neutered and spayed

Once you know the truth you might wish you walked away.

I have pulled myself clear

I think he knows! (12:12 woo)

This is my dance floor I fought for.

They wrote a book about it

They said it was like Ancient Rome And something flickered for a minute

And then it vanished and was gone (Romeo had Juliette is perfect songwriting. )

You are shining some glory on me

Miss Americana (so I finally got this song; it had me sobbing, and it wasn’t what I thought. But I’ll wait for a day when my screen is working to expand.)

Song sung blue, weeping like a willow

You can sing it with a cry in my voice

“Everybody knows.”

Love will tear us apart again

“Valentine knows it all. He’s got something to say.” (12:34)

3:33

I will love you til the end

And you cannot be bound, if you cannot be free

Hosanna! Head on high, I'm gonna sing it till the day I die

Gonna push on the gas till the gas runs dry

Mary dances on a hurricane

Said the boys in here are all the same

'Cause she'd rather be preaching with fools

You’d take an overdose if you knew what was going down.

"It was around four in the morning in the studio and I guess I was half-awake and half-asleep,I figured I was dreaming so when I really woke up, I put it down straight away. I guess that's the advantage of falling asleep in the studio - at least you can get your ideas down right then and there! What turned out to be heavy about it was he said that it had some of the same structure as something he'd done for a movie years ago."

Why do I want to blow up your life?

“I just thought that if I could take it from her, maybe then it would prove that I’m worth something.”

“I guess that’s just Your game and I’m the one who gets played again and again and again. You know how to fuck me up.(4:00)

Russian Easter hymn

Every chance you get you seem to hurt me more and more,

ain’t that peculiar

“I’ve seen gypsies who made it all the way and kept goin.”

My town bitching/ complaining when people ain’t got shit to eat

So I’m living inside my mind

“I keep retracing that storyline.”

I’m in tears again when you rock and roll with me (this should be the new blog title)

I’ve found a door that lets me out

Don't know if I'll see you again someday

But if you're out there, I hope that you're okay

little military march

Oh baby how was I supposed to know? I shouldn’t have let you go. My loneliness is killing me

I’ve been replaced with someone new

He don’t realize I’m thinking about you

And if you wouldn’t mind I would like it blew

And if you wouldn’t mind I would like to breathe

Here is another word that rhymes with shame

You could do anything

All I do is think about you

I'm a stubborn man with a fickle plan

Talk to me without the need To make your case

Settled at a standstill

We shall live again

I did it for survival But i looked like the asshole anyway

You ate up all my breadcrumbs —Now i'm lost alone inside your cave

You best let the water run

“Honey, you best sit down.”

Far from skid row I dream we’ll go

It’s been a hell of a year, thank god we made it out

You got me feelin' like I been too mean

And fuck like a demon, do it like nothin'

I am disgustin', I've been corrupted

I been gone, yeah, I been on this road too long

“At the heart of the matter, Someone wove a secret spell

Mixed with girl not so peaceful

Angel and animal

But me losing you was not a part of this plan so…”

“I think making up, faking up stories is all right. fiction is my thing. My attitude is always I and me and mine; Oh I'm so clever, I'm so clever, I'm so clever!

Until my paranoia kicks in then I'll accuse her of doing all the worst things I do best.

It's funny how me fucking her about has got me in this fucking mess. Liar liar liar liar liar pants on fire. Lies, alibis, lies, more alibis.

From the truth, I admit I'm more than shy.”

“I'm feeling so guilty about the things.”

This is the happy ending I look at the books And things people are reading

I know that you've written them, too

You've got so many little things to do.

As I'm endlessly, endlessly searching the crowd

Looking for something from you

Just one fucking measly clue

Any shitty little tip-off would do

A ghosteen dances in my hand

Slowly twirling, twirling all around

[witchlyboo]

Definitely, maybe.

Part five: The one who belongs to someone else.

Introduction. Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four.

Paring: Latina!reader x Logan Lerman x Tom Holland x Ben Hardy x Timothee Chalamet x Pedro Pascal x Michael B. Jordan

Warnings: Swearing, angst, misspellings, some Spanish, me learning how to write properly, and NY stuff that I've learned from movies that we all agree to pretend are real.

Word count: 6.4 k

a/n: You been asking for smut, I know, I know, I just wanted to introduce you to all the boys first, and we're getting there, just one more ahead. Also, I'm working on a masterlist because we are getting too many parts already.

All body types and skin tones friendly. You can also enjoy it as a no Hispanic reader. Constructive feedback and misspellings correction is always welcome.

Red and blue lights flash the driving mirror.

—No, no, no, por favor que no sea a mi—You beg to the sky looking at the patrol that is asking you to park, or someone else, there's a lot of cars in this part of the city, there's a big chance is the panic who's controlling your senses.—Dios, mi abuela fue a la iglesia cada domingo de su vida y nunca te pidió nada, please let me have some of her divina recompensa.—But that's not how it works, you end up parking with just a few seconds to think what to say. There's a perfect explication of why you are driving a car that is not yours in the middle of the night and smelling like a minibar.

Then this ridiculous thought comes to your mind, you look expensive, you've never seen the daughter of a senator but you must be close to it, it would make you less of a feminist if you just use your attributes? Ugh, you feel sick just to think about it but don't have enough money to pay a fine, and the constant paranoia of being chased all the time as an immigrant will only get stronger.

You pull down your dress a little so your neckline can do its job but you regret it immediately, and you're pretty sure you look more like an expensive prostitute who stole the car of his lover than some influential men's daughter.

—License and registration.—You hear him say when he approaches your window. You don't like this but you have to play the dumb tourist, the pretty foreign girl that is too stupid to be dangerous, with the look you have tonight it shouldn't be hard. But damn you hate cops, any uniformed man that works for the government is your eternal enemy, and you don't know how long you could keep the nice dumb Latina game before spit on his face.

—There's something wrong, officer? ...You?!—Your sexy and fake high voice is ruined when you see the face of the man who stopped you. This night couldn't get worse.

—Wait, what happened with the party?—Evan interrupts you while you finish some notes for work, little remainders for later when you don't have an eleven years old kid running around you, he's not usually this energic and you have to blame yourself for that, you're describing a life of excess and eccentric fun, something you let behind so many years ago that your own son doesn't know even a bit of it.

—Ugh, a nightmare doesn't worth telling.—You remember vaguely most of it but what keeps fresh in your mind is bad enough to don't want to bring it back.

—But if Timothée is my dad I have to know the important things, including the bad stuff.—Sounds perfectly reasonable and that's what makes you groan at him. Sometimes you feel blessed that your kid is better than you in any possible way, and sometimes you want to kill his brain with video games and reality shows like the rest of the parents.

—Ok, cool, but I'll keep all the +18 content for myself, so this part of the story might be blurry for you.—It kinda is for you anyway.

You should’ve known this night was cursed, you had a feeling because a) your earring fell off at the same time Timothée texted you to give you the party address and say he can't pick you up. And b) he won’t pick you up. Your mother would say that’s reason enough to not go, a real gentleman wouldn’t make you go to an unknown place in the middle of the night on your own in a city like this. But you decide to ignore it because you are a modern woman and because it’s worth it. It better be.

The outfit must be something special. You always take your time to choose what to wear, even if just another regular day, and since this isn't the case you thought about it for hours, that made your mind busy enough to not thinking about Tom and the whole love confession. He texted you saying he'll come for you to go to class together on Monday, which is completely impractical because he's way closer than you but is progress and you're going to take it.

You wanted to ask for Sheep's opinion but you thought she might not care, has been a few days since she started acting strange like she's bothered just to see you breathe. You want to blame his boyfriend to take all her time and attention from you but is probably just her new job, she got a small role in a Netflix show, and even when you're so happy for her, that's the event that has changed her into someone completely different. But you give her time, stress can do bad things to people.

The winner is the exact copy you made of the black and white striped dress Cameron Diaz wore in "The Mask" beautiful, classy, and sexy enough without being too scandalous, not that you have any problem with that, but this isn't the occasion, you don't want to feel like you're being too much or too little, just enough, it's supposed to be easy, right? you were born for this. Just adding some big shiny earrings you got on a thrift shop that look like real diamonds and you're ready, not that you own any to compare. Red lipstick, dark eyes, and a messy bun to get that disinterested pitch every look needs.

Getting there wasn't a problem, you were in the rich part of the city, everyone know who, where and what just to brag about it. The excitement is growing with every second, you check your makeup like thirty times in the elevator and send texts to your mom just to let her know where you are, and because you have to share that moment with someone and you are limited of friends these days.

Timothée opens the door with red eyes, drunk, high, or somewhere in between, you know then you were right about the bad feeling. He jumps on you to kiss you and no matter how much you try to explain the delicacy of your lipstick, he does it anyway, leaving a taste of alcohol and shrimps in your mouth. Taking you by the waist he walks you to a group of people you don't know while you're trying harder to fix the red color of your mouth without a mirror.

—Here is the companion I bought, look at her, that's how five grand per hour look like.—They laughed but you were too disoriented to process all the things he said, it was supposed to be a joke? if it is, why isn't he correcting? Instead, his hand goes straight to your ass and presses it to get you closer to him.

—I'm actually an intern in the costume designer department of the new version of "Sense and Sensibility".—You wanted to mention your recent promotion to hairstylist and makeup artist but that might be too pretentious. Anyway, they don't seem to care what you are or not, in fact, they don't even see you, all eyes are on Timothée

—Oh, well, is easy to forget when you're paying them—All laughs again. Who is this person? Who are all these people, actually? You recognize some influencers, a few cast members but there's no sign of the director, other main actors, not even his co-star. You feel like an extra in a movie where someone will be killed in a luxury party, hopefully not you. You take his hand from your body and clear your throat.—I'm just joking my love, she looks stunning, isn't she? I’ll get you a drink.

He leaves and the group of people surrounding you suddenly dissipated like boiling water, you were on your own again and despite some judgmental gazes is like you’re not there, you’re sure you could just take your dress off and throw it to someone’s face and unless Tim says something about it, no one would care. You’re there as his companion, an ornament, and that’s not enough to earn their attention because it’s too obvious you’re the one in turn.

You walk to the only window no one is smoking and check your phone, you know, the thing you do when you pretend you have important issues to attend, but no, you end reading some old messages, pictures, texting your mom of how much fun you’re having at the party, and somehow you check your filed Facebook messages to find Logan’s name. You cover the screen so fast you hurt your nail, his name is enough to make you tremble like a Chihuahua, you haven’t talked to him since that night, you know from his sister he lives in the house he bought for you two and he’s having the happiest life without you. You want to believe that because that means you took the right decision but deep inside… no, you can’t be that person, you want him to be happier than ever.

You find the guts to open the message, and you read as slowly as is humanly possible. “My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health…” Dios, just Logan could start a message like that, your smile is almost too big to fit in your face so you bit your nail to cover it a little. “I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you’ll be happy to know…”

—That’s a fucking long-ass message.—Tim appears behind you and takes your phone from your hand, spilling some of his drink on your dress in the process. Apparently, he's been there long enough to read part of the message.

—Give it back.—You command in the most severe voice you have, your magical moment got ruined and you remember the hole of hell you are.

—"My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health. I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you must know I still use them now and then"—Timothée starts reading the message, and even when no one is close enough to hear it and you don’t really care about this people’s opinion, that’s not for anyone to read, that’s one of the few parts of your life you treasure the most and you’re not ready to get over it.—You little slut, are you cheating on me with a med student?

—Give it to me.—You repeat trying to take the phone from his hand but he’s faster and walks away putting it out of your reach.

—"I meticulously preserve them, I certainly know any piece of art made by you will be priceless in the near future"—You don’t want to hear it coming from his drunk mocking voice, so you try to ignore what he’s saying and put more effort on chasing the phone.—Should I had kept the jeans where you left the wet spot on? I didn’t know you were an artist, my love.

—Timothée, por el amor de Dios.—Now you're trying to climb him, it wouldn't be that hard to take him down, he's skinny and you're fierce. That's what you thought but he's not moving even with you are on top of his shoulder and his opposite long arm keeps the phone away from you.

—Who is this guy and why is he talking to my girl like this?—You see the olive eyes getting darker and the tone of his voice went deeper than you thought he could do. You desist from taking the phone, you know the bullies love the attention, maybe that's exactly what he wants and give it to him just makes it worse.

—I'm not your girl.—You claim fixing up your dress having enough of games, and you have no reason to keep worrying about losing your job, the filming is done, and apparently your relationship with him too. You don't care about any of that anymore, just want to read Logan's text.

Even behind all the alcohol and the eyes injected in blood thanks for who knows what kind of drug, you can see the disappointment and anger, but it's not a broken heart, Is the hissy fit of a child that loses his balloon and now everyone will pay for it, especially you.

—Are you sure about that?—You can see him swallow hard, almost looking vulnerable, but his voice is defiant and threatening to prove you wrong. He just has to stretch out his arm to reach the open window with your phone in hand, his intentions are clear and the only thing you can do is raise your hands as a reflex.—You were mine the moment you put a foot on my trailer, and I don't fucking share my stuff.—Before you can say a word he drops the phone from the fourth floor.

You know is senseless but you find yourself running out of the party and going to search the device, using it also as an excuse to get away from that place. This is the first time someone makes you feel meaningless, you know the famous' world is cold and lacking in empathy but this is ridiculous, they're a bunch of parasites fed by attention and power. By Timothée.

The screen is crashed and the rest of it is probably beyond repair, not that you're surprised, its life is longer than you've been in the country and you admit you should have replaced it much earlier but you're not the kind to throw away things that still work. However, is not the phone you are worried about, not as much as what it contains.

—That was obsolete anyway, I'll get you a better one.—You didn't know he was following you, his voice interrupts your self-wailing. He sounds calmer and a little embarrassed, but not enough to say sorry, you don't think he's capable of saying it.

You shake your head and start to walk away without a word, you don't want anything from him, not materially, at least.

—Don't make a scandal out of it, it's just a phone!—He yells erasing any trace of regret in his voice. He doesn't see the reaction he expected and that's when he runs after you and with a hand on your upper arm pulls you back, you gasped for the sudden bluntness.—That annoying habit you have of leaving when I'm talking to you.

You push him away with all the strength you have, which resulted in him almost falling on the ground.

—I don't care about the stupid phone!—You finally break, but sadly is not as satisfactory as you thought it would be.—You are mean, vain, arrogant and the worst part is that you enjoy being this despicable human because you have absolutely no consequences to it. Everyone around you just accepts it and I feel so sorry for you because the only possible way for you to fill the void inside is to be surrounded by that crowd of mules licking your steps—To your surprise, he has nothing to say, he's just standing there with no facial expression, whatever he feels is easily covered by his years of experience acting, even drunk.—I can't give you that and it's obvious they don't want me either. What am I even doing here?—You ask yourself thinking where would be the best way of getting a cab, is a rich zone, must be easy.

—Everything is better when you're around—His voice is thin and fragile, you have to process what he said three times in your head to understand his words. You're not willing to look at him yet.—You're not like the others.

—Pure bullshit. You love to repeat that misogynist discourse of girls being in a certain way because is easier than be responsible for the people you choose to be—You were hugging yourself the whole time, is a cold night, but not enough to be bothersome, you enjoy Fall weather—You got me for a moment, I give you that, you fooled me but I'm too tired of guessing what version of you is real—When you return your gaze at him, he doesn't try to hide the guilt anymore, but there's still haughtiness in there.—Now, if you don't mind Mr. Chalamet, I need to get a cab.

—No, you came with me, you leave with me.—There's no trace of alcohol in his voice anymore, a good scolding is enough to put you sober, you know that thanks to your mom. Oh god, you're becoming her.

—You didn't bring me here, gigantic head—You look at him and put your hand in front of him with the palm up. He stares at it for several seconds before put his own on it—Not that!—You shake it and start looking inside his jeans pockets until you feel the metal of his key car.—You can't drive and I have to get home. You'll find it in the studio tomorrow.

That's how you ended with a car way more luxurious than you expected, driving so slowly and carefully that the police stopped you. What a night, but at this point, you couldn't care less about anything that is not that message, is been months and you can't get over it, over him. Not even Ben moans, Tom's comforting arms, or fight with a movie star at 3:00 am. is enough to get him out of your mind.

—So is true, you don't wear anything that hasn't appeared in a movie, huh?—Michael B. Jordan is leaning on the car window with a mocking smile and a sparkle of satisfaction that you would love to punch but his uniform keeps you in line, where you come from police is not equal to justice, most of the times is oppression.

—You know where it's from?—That was kind of comforting, no one at the party noticed. Not that you care.

—Is The Mask, not some Adam Hitchcock's blurb.—He smiles and even when you really don't like him, it's nice to be with a familiar face, you are really tired of running away, scaping for problems that are a result of your null capacity to deal with emotions. Ugh, what a word.

—Is Alfred Hitchcock, actually.—You didn't want to sound priggish, but you correct him with no time to stop yourself, an old habit.

—You got me, smarty, you know more than movies than me. Where did you get this car?—You feel really nervous even when you got this legally, you have your documents and license on time and he's being nice enough to not want to run away in a car that you technically borrowed for yourself.

—It's not mine.—No shit, Sherlock.

—No shit, Sherlock, I was asking where did you steal it.—You wanted to laugh but there's something with the uniform that just doesn't allow you to be yourself.—Are you drunk?

—No, no, fuck, no, it's just, I don't feel comfortable with cops—He raises his eyebrows but that is his only reaction.—Listen, is my boss' car, I'm doing the favor to take it to the studio, and I'm really nervous because is fucking expensive, he's an asshole, I haven't drive un almost a year because you people only use cars if you're rich or your work and lives depend on it. I'm starving.—The last part came out of nowhere, you haven't eaten anything in almost 13 hours, maybe that's the actual reason why you are that moody.

He doesn't answer right away, takes his time to look at you, what makes you blush, he's really close, closer than he's ever been. Does he smell like green apples? Not the actual apples, the artificial smell they had given to them.

—Get out of the car.—Oh no, is he arresting you? Is he finally taking revenge for every time you make fun of his Hawaiian-type shirts? You know you have too much karma accumulated and a cop making you pay for it when you don’t believe in their sense of justice is kinda poetic, and evil.

You don’t want to discuss with someone with a taser, gun, pepper spray, or who knows what else. So you take your bag, the key car, and get off defeated.

—My turn is almost over, I’ll take you to eat something, c’mon.—He walks back to his patrol and you stay still for a few seconds still processing his words, you must look totally devastated for him to offer that. How you see it you have two options, go with him and spend an awkward hour with a person you don’t like or risk getting a fine, Tim can pay it, it’s not a big deal but you don’t want to owe him even the minimal thing.

You get in the car holding on to your bag to feel calmer, this is the first time you’re fully alone with him since you found him half-naked in your kitchen. Those defined abs may never leave your brain.

—Are you cold?—He interrupts your thoughts with his question, you didn’t notice you were shaking. He looks for something under his seat and gives you an NYPD hoodie, you hold it doubting your next move, is not like you don’t appreciate the gesture but it’d be easier to take if it doesn’t get that words printed—Is clean.—He says chuckling when he sees the way you’re looking at it.

—Is not that, just, you know, fuck the police, defund the NYPD, demilitarize the pigs and that stuff.—You say putting on the hoodie anyway, is a cold night and you won't help the institution wearing their propaganda.

—Yeah, I get it, but you can't change the system just from within.—You decide is not the right moment to have a political conversation so you shrug your shoulders and discreetly smell the hoodie, a mix of cologne, green apples, and cheap soap, you know is cheap because you buy the exact same, do its job.

—I'm in the mood for pizza.—You say casually, making a deal to yourself to try to be his friend, he is a small part of your life anyway.—Domino's is open at this time of the night?

—Tell me you're not consuming that shit, dear Lord, you been here for how long, two years? I can't believe your idea of a good pizza is Domino's. Stella hasn't taught you anything?—You're surprised by the level of condescension with a pizza and you mirror his smile, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Your school program includes people from all around the world so you don't have that much experience with actual new yorkers. Logan is rich, so he doesn't really count.

—What's wrong with Domino's? I don't buy much street food, is cheaper to buy things on the food market. Besides, all pizza is good.—The mention of Sheep makes you a little tense, so you don't say anything about it, is not a conversation to have with him.

—Don't blaspheme in the patrol, I just washed it—You laugh, finally, after a terrible weekend. You can see why she likes him, there is something about his voice, smile, and his eyes that feel... calm, like watching Friends after a marathon of Lord of the Rings.—There are rules to survive this city, and I'm surprised you have made it this far without a proper guide.

—Chill out Mr. Miyagi, I'm not from the jungle, and I've learned a lot by myself.—He gives you a lopsided grin as a request, and you put your fingers up ready to enlist your acquired knowledge.—Walk fast, like you're about to be stabbed, something that actually happened to me, with an umbrella—He nods and laughs being related to it.—Number two, no small talk, no one cares, even if they ask. Number three, if you look a stranger in the eye, especially a homeless person, you have essentially invited them to approach you.

—Number four, we never eat from Domino's, Papa John's, Pizza hut, or any other chain restaurant, only trucks and local places are allowed.—You roll your eyes but you get the point, is just, again, you're not much into street food, it doesn't taste like home and the only way to eat food like that is preparing it yourself.

—Fine, fuck capitalism, let's support local places—You make an obvious fake enthusiastic tone but he nods proudly.—Number five, you don't need a car to live here, not even know how to drive. I would have successfully avoided this police brutality if I had followed that rule.

—For someone who is about to eat for free, you whine too much.—He parks the car and gives you a sign to go with him. You see him go to a pizza truck and order, you realize at the moment how ridiculous you look, so before chasing him you let your hair down, take your huge earrings off, and roll up the skirt of your dress until your mid-thighs letting the hoodie cover the rest, and clean the red lipstick with a Kleenex from your bag. Now you look more like a college person and not a rich girl who just got seized.

—Here you go.—He says giving you a slice as big as your head, looks oily and spreading cheese everywhere. Perfect.

—Is it vegan?—You ask receiving the food with an obnoxious face. His kind grind turned into a dread expression and you give him your second laugh of the day.—I'm kidding.

You are about to give it a bite when you see passing next to you a huge rat with the exact same slice as yours in its mouth, running into the dark of the night happy to have obtained the food for its family. They use to scare you when you just moved out but now they're like any other pigeon in the sky.

—Rule... whatever, a rat with a slice of pizza is a symbol for good luck, congratulations.—He pets your head awkwardly, not sure if you're ok with the physical contact, which, surprisingly, you are.

—I see rats with bagels all the time.—Pizza and bagels, that's the main culinary wonders of the city, you like it, not much to object but is hard not to compare it with your home's food.

—Is easy to confuse a rough diamond with a simple rock.—You both eat in silence, enjoying the mixed sounds of the city and all the different smells, the whole situation feels like one of those lofi music videos. You remember thinking about moments like this before getting the scholarship, what would it be like to feel normal in the city of your dreams.

—How do you know that much about movies?—He asks after a few minutes when you take a break to drink something, that pizza is not easy to take.

—When I was a kid a spent much time on my own, so my dad bought me a used DVD reproducer, and at the corner of my neighborhood was this movie store where you could buy 5 pirate movies for one dollar. They were blurred, with a terrible sound, and most of the time with the wrong movie inside but they helped me to not feel lonely. Eventually, the store closed but I've watched everything in it by then—He gives you a warm smile, you never told that story to anyone, not because is too intimate to share, but because no one asked, it doesn't sound like a question with a complex answer.—Anyway, I watched Marie Antoinette when I was like eight, and I decided at that moment that however is done I wanted to be part of that magic.

—You hear all kind of people chasing dreams in this city but is hard to find someone who actually deserves it.—You blush and you cover it with your hair but the smile on your voice is impossible to hide.

—Is that a compliment? You must really want me to like you to date Sheep.—You laugh but you can see his face tense, so you can guess your friend has been busy breaking everyone’s hearts.

—She hasn’t returned my calls in three days so I don’t think there’s much you can do—You nod, all this time you thought he was the reason she is ignoring you but apparently you are both in the same boat.—But yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking, what I should have said is, Marie Antoinette at eight? I can see where all the damage started.

You gasp and throw your napkin at his head, he easily catches it without even looking at it and laughs; that was unexpectedly attractive.

—Why a cop?—You ask, not sure where that question came from, maybe you authentically want to know more about him, he just bought you food, and honestly, that's the easiest way to win your trust.

—I wanted to be an actor when I was a child. This is the city of opportunities so you may think that if you want to chase the big wonder, this is the perfect place to do it. But I grow up surrounded by these people giving their entire lives to get something just given to one in a million so I decided is not worth it. For many years I wondered what I wanted to do with my life and the answer was really clear, my dad was a cop, a good one, or that’s what people say. I don’t remember much because he died when I was seven—Conversations about death are not your strength, everything can turn out uncomfortable if you choose the wrong words.—It might not be that glamorous but if my father died for it, it surely worth it.

—For the good ones.—You raise your almost empty can of Coke and he does the same with a grin that warms the cold weather of the night.

—For the good ones.

The next two hours passed like minutes talking about anything and everything. It just felt right to talk freely with him, you didn’t feel judged for your awkward family moments or your random thoughts, not even once because he told you his too. At some point of the night he borrowed you his gym sweatpants, any of you could just suggest going home but that was off the table, end that peace just for weather reasons would have been a tragedy.

—I read Timothée Chalamet is a dick. Is that true?—The mention of his name remains you of your life and everything that comes with it, including the middle semester project that you must dedicate your entire day, one that is about to start.—What, you can’t talk about it?

—He is a complete dick with no sense of privacy or human decency—And when he interrupts a deep kiss to look at your eyes, smile, and caress your chin, you feel like a character of his Victorian movies. But he didn’t ask that.—But the next week he’ll be no longer my problem.

—That’s why we have rule twenty-three, don’t ask for a picture of a celebrity unless they are local—You have heard about it before but you haven’t got the opportunity to decide if you like that rule because the only celebrities you have seen are from work and that club’s party opening.—That means you’ll be free to go to the Stephen Kings’ movie projection there will be for Halloween.

You don’t know if that was a proposition, a suggestion, or just a simple recommendation, and whatever it is, you noticed he was nervous to ask. Is it wrong? It feels wrong like you were betraying your friend accepting to hang out with his boyfriend without her consent. But he didn’t ask you to go with him so is safe to answer.

—Yeah, I guess—You get a moment, four seconds top, where you shared innocent, curious, and tenting gazes like three graders in the playground. And that’s the further you will allow yourself to go.—We better leave, if the sunlight touch me I’ll turn into dust.

You get off the car hood and go to the side door, but this time he opens it for you. You give him a “seriously?” Look, receiving a little push in your arm as a response.

↬☀︎︎

A distant voice asks you to wake up, softly whispers that turn into caresses on your cheek, your eyes feel so heavy, even when you are well aware of your environment your eyelids keep closed.

—Good morning, Princess—This is the first time Tom calls you that way, the change from silly nicknames to Princess is enough to get you out of hibernation. He is squatting beside your bed, his smile is the promise of a better day, and chasing that idea you give him one small back.—Your mom has been texting me desperately all day, she said you're not answering her calls and is worried.

—Fuck, my phone broke last night, can I call her from yours?—That’s an oversimplification but in the search for a better story, that's what you decide to believe and tell. Tom nods and gives it to you, he looks happy, beyond that, this is the first time you see that subtle blush on his cheeks and the eyes sparkling. You sit on the bed next to his body looking for your mom's number, slowly he moves between your legs, you have shorts and an oversized Back To The Future t-shirt, you got took the time to prepare yourself to bed last night and keep Michael’s clothes inside your closet to wash them, like The Tell-Tale Heart, a little innocent secret who feels dirty somehow

The conversations with your mom are always long, nostalgic and the tears are hard to hold for both parts; after a long life sharing almost every day with her, her absence never feels smaller. But this time is different, Tom is exploring the bare skin under your knee with his warm hands, asking for permission with curious eyes, and when you don’t object to the touch the British boy keeps his exploring mission cautiously, giving special attention to see your eyes in case something change. Is time to hang up when he gives a long and loving kiss to your knee, the less erotic kiss you could think of but so intimate to bristle your skin.

—Not nice to touch someone's daughter when is talking to her mom.—The protest of your voice loses strength at every word, he heard that and just straight his back to reach your face, the gap is almost extinct.

—We're okay, she likes me.—He assures holding your hips and pulling you a bit to him. Tom looks very comfortable with the new closeness authorization, you like it but are not very sure about it yet, most of you still think of him as your best friend.

—Did she tell you that? Are you talking with my mom behind my back?—You laugh when he does, almost like nothing changed.

—She adores me, I swear, I'm invited to Christmas, you know?—You're not surprised, she invites everyone, Logan was too but the first time he got family plans and didn't make it to the second.

—You should go, maybe we can do...—His lips touch yours in a peak at the middle phrase and makes you forget what you were about to say.—Man, the audacity to interrupt...—Then he kisses you again, deeply, using his tongue to taste your inner lip and his hands holding your shirt in fists. That's a twist of events.

—Is that ok?—You hear a weak whisper coming out of his voice but you got so mesmerized on his lips that decided to ignore it and kiss him back instead. He responds to your touch and starts to lean over you to make you lay on the bed.

Jesucristo bendito, is this happening? like, actually happening? you must look like trash, you barely took all the makeup from the night before and didn't take a shower, you start to get so worried about smells, feelings, and what that'll mean to your already too much-spoiled friendship.

However, the time of doubts is done when Sheep starts yelling in the living room, you both reacted running to the sound and looking for your blonde friend. Michael is there but doesn't look like the same as a few hours ago, is annoyed and tired for the lack of sleep, a look that doesn't match him at all.—What did you do?—You ask him fast assuming she's mad for something he did.

—Just in time, the star of the movie, I was wondering how much it will take you to be the protagonist of this.—That is Sheep's voice talking about you and what must be your heart breaking from her words.

—Excuse me?—You wish your tone would be less savage but you can't help respond the same way she did.

—Logan wasn't enough, then you got the drummer, fucking Timothée Chalamet, Tom and now my boyfriend. I'm so glad I didn't leave you alone with my dad or I'd be calling you mom now.—You have no words to that, Michael doesn't even dare to look at you, he must have told her something she misunderstood, but Sheep, or well, Stella is saying things she actually thinks and keep to herself. Tom walks in front of you whispering things to her to calm her down but she is not looking at him, you didn't tell her anything about Tom either so he's taking responsibility this time.—Go ahead and fuck the whole city, Michael if that please you but you're crossing the line with Tom and you know that, you're going to ruin him as you ruin every man that enters in your life.—She has a very you moment having the last word of the dispute and getting out of the apartment with Michael going after her but not putting much effort in it.

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[fandom-imagines-stories]

Worth the World

Spike x Reader

Words: 2459

Summary: On a particularly bad day, the reader can barely bring herself to get out of bed. Spike does his best to comfort his girlfriend without being overbearing. 

Notes: This is inspired by one of my favorite fics ever by @suckmysupernatural. I got this idea when having a depressive episode myself, so I hope you guys enjoy a little comfort fic with one of my favorite vamps. Plus, I’ve never written for Spike before and since I’m getting back into Buffy, I thought this would be the perfect time. (Also, this is entirely based on my own experience, so it might not be everyone’s experience with this kind of thing {but please be nice, I just used a few of the things I felt so it’s all based on my own emotions and insecurities!}) Enjoy!

Warnings: Depression, self-loathing, anxiety (This imagine was really just a way for me to put down my emotions and write something comforting, but I hope you all like it too)

-

You didn’t want to move. You weren’t really sure if you could. Your limbs just felt… heavy. Forcing your legs to move, you slowly swung them over the side of the bed, using all the strength you could muster to sit up straight. 

It wasn’t that something terrible had happened. In fact, the day before had gone pretty well. You’d spent most of it watching movies with Willow and Buffy and, when the sunset, you went on a long evening walk with your boyfriend. There were no deadly forces plotting world domination, no vengeful vamps after you or your friends. Hell, your favorite restaurant was open and you brought home leftovers for breakfast. 

Now, the idea of eating made your stomach turn. You managed to shuffle your way to the kitchen of your apartment, but just stood in front of the counter, leaning on the marble top for support. Just standing there felt like it took every ounce of energy you had. It was almost painful, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. You did your best to keep them from falling. You had places to be today, meeting up with the gang and  you didn’t want to worry them with your moping. 

With slow steps, you made your way back to your room to get dressed. Of course, most of your clothes were dirty and you didn’t care enough to wash them. So you threw a sweatshirt over your pajama top and put on some shoes, hoping no one would ask about it. You caught your reflection and felt that dark, empty feeling in your chest grow. Pathetic. Your shoulders sagged forward and you blinked away more tears as you watched them well in your eyes. You didn’t have the right to feel like this. How much had Buffy been through and she still greeted every day with a smile. Everything was perfect and yet you were pathetic enough to still want to crawl back into bed. You just hoped that you would feel better by the time you saw everyone. Especially Spike. 

-

You sat with your legs pulled up to your chest. Xander and Willow were debating whether or not using wooden bullets would be a good vamp killer. Buffy was listening in amusement and Giles just looked exasperated, distracting himself by putting books back in their proper place on the shelves. No one said anything about your pajamas. You actually felt kind of invisible, like no one even really knew you were there. It made the empty feeling that much worse. 

“What do you think, Y/N?” 

“Xander, don’t you think that’s a little insensitive?”

“What? It’s not like we’re planning on dusting her boyfriend. Even if he is annoying and evil and-”

“Xander.” Willow said sternly. When you looked up, everyone’s eyes were on you. 

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t really paying attention.” Your voice held little to no emotion. You were almost too exhausted to feel anything. You just felt hollow. 

“If I shot Spike with a wooden bullet do you think he would, you know,” Xander made a motion with his hands that was meant to simulate a vampire dying. “Just theoretically, of course.” 

Everyone was expecting a witty remark. You and Xander were close and teased each other often, especially about your relationship with Spike. Instead, you just shrugged, your eyes fixating on a spot on the table. 

“Maybe.” 

The group collectively exchanged a look of concern, but didn’t press anything. After all, what reason could there be for you to be upset? They knew that if something had happened with Spike, you would tell them and there weren’t any recent deaths to worry about, so they continued on with their playful conversations about breaking curses and some movie that they had watched recently. It felt like you were intruding- like an unwanted bystander that everyone wished would just disappear. While no one had said anything like that, the thoughts filled your head nonetheless. 

This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, but you’d never told them. An episode like this hadn’t happened in months so you had hoped they had stopped. Some days you were as happy as you ever had been, but others you felt like a burden. Worthless and pathetic- pitying yourself for no reason at all. 

Spike didn’t even know, even after almost a year of dating. You never dreamed of telling him. Spike was always saying that you were the strong one. You were the one that helped him through every day of his endless living. He got his soul for you. What would he say if he saw you like this? If he knew the doubts and loathing going through your head. He would know that you’re weak and vulnerable and you didn’t want that to happen. 

So you didn’t tell them. You kept all of your thoughts inside of you as they ate away at your mind. On the outside, you just looked tired. Everyone knew that you stayed awake into the late hours because of Spike, so you hoped that’s what they would think. You were tired, but it wasn’t from lack of sleep. It was like your body just wanted to give up. Maybe if you could just wake yourself up, everything would go back to normal. 

Buffy and Willow went out for coffee, so you went with them, hoping the caffeine would be enough to shake you out of this. Instead, it just made you more jumpy and anxious. The cup shook in your hand, but you kept drinking, still hoping that it would give you enough energy to fake it. This, like your out-of-it demeanor, did not go unnoticed. 

“Hey, are you feeling okay?” Buffy asked, suddenly stopping her conversation with Willow about shoes. At first, you didn’t realize she was talking to you. You were so focused on the thoughts swarming around in your head, you hadn’t noticed they were both looking at you with concern. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Because you’ve been spacing out all morning. What’s going on?” 

“I guess I’m just tired.” You shrugged, grimacing from the effort the small movement took. 

“Are you sure? Did Spike do something stupid, because you know I’ll-”

“Really, Buffy, I’m okay. I think I just need to go home and rest for a while.” You finished the rest of the coffee, feeling your heart beat faster as the anxiety built up in your chest. “I’ll see you guys later, okay?” 

“Okay.” Buffy gave you a skeptical glance and Willow smiled sincerely.

“Feel better, Y/N.” 

“I’ll see you guys later.” You faked the best smile you could before turning away from them. 

“Is she going to be okay?” Willow wondered, watching the way you nervously messed with the hem of your shirt as you walked. Buffy narrowed her eyes and grabbed her bag. 

“I don’t know, but if she won’t talk to us about it, there’s one person she will.” 

“Oh do we have to go there? You know that place gives me the creeps.” Willow whined. Buffy just gave her a look and the two trekked off in search of your sun-hating boyfriend. 

-

You stood in the middle of your living room as the tears slowly started to pour down your cheeks. The coffee must have given you enough energy to cry and now you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t speak, you couldn’t move, you just stood, frozen by the overwhelming emptiness inside you. Pathetic. Useless. Worthless. Everything was swirling around your head, breaking you down further until you had to lean against the window sill to stay standing. 

You could faintly hear something outside your door, but you made no motion to open it. It sounded far away, or maybe you were just blocking it out. All you could hear was your heart pounding, along with the hundreds of doubts rattling in your head. It was until the door burst open that you flinched. 

“First, the slayer comes banging on my crypt, telling me that something’s wrong and then you leave me to break down your door- if I could die, you would have scared me to death. Why didn’t you open the door?” Spike huffed in frustration. You didn’t turn around. Frankly, you hardly noticed he was there. His irritation quickly faded, replaced by worry. “Y/N, love, what is it?” 

You still didn’t respond, keeping your back turned with your hands clinging to the window sill to keep from falling. Spike approached you slowly and you thought you heard his footsteps, but part of you thought you were just imagining him. Why would he come for you? It was the middle of the day and the sun was high in the sky. A rush of guilt washed over you. He came here despite the danger of being burned and you didn’t even have a reason. You’d put him at risk for your own pitiful problems. 

“Darling, why won’t you look at me?” He took another step towards you, but stopped. The sun’s rays created a shield around you, preventing him from pulling you into his arms. “If you could just lower the blinds, that would make this far less awkward.” 

“You d-didn’t need to come here. T-the sun.” You stammered. You wanted to reach for the curtains, but you still couldn’t move your arms without your legs giving out. 

“A little sunlight isn’t going to stop from me from getting to you,” he said sincerely. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him rush to the window, the sound of his skin sizzling in the light made you let go of the ledge. Your legs buckled just as he got the curtains closed. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” You had hurt him. All you had to do was reach up and shut out the sunlight and you couldn’t even do that. He burned himself just to reach you. 

“It’s alright. I’ve got you. It’s alright.” He held you up for a moment before sinking to the floor to hold you in his lap. “I’ve got you love, I’ve got you.” 

“Y-you shouldn’t be here, Spike. I’m not-” You hid your face from his view so he would see the tears. “I’m not worth all of this. There’s something wrong with me. One minute I’m fine and the next I’m like this and I don’t even know why. I don’t have a reason to feel like this. It’s like I’m… broken or something.” 

“You aren’t broken.” Spike said softly, tucking your head under his chin and gently rocking you back and forth. “You’re human.” 

He held you like that for a long while, not saying anything or even moving off of the floor. He didn’t make you look at him until he was sure you had relaxed enough. Putting a finger under your chin, he gently lifted your face to meet his. 

“I’m sorry about all this.” You sniffed, using your sleeve to wipe some of the dampness off your cheeks. 

“I don’t want to hear those worse from you for the rest of the day.” Spike gave you a small smile and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I would trek across deserts wrapped in a blanket if it meant being here with you. Every second is worth it.” Now, he lowered his lips down to yours for a slow, sweet kiss. When he pulled back, his eyes were shining with the soul of a man in love. “To me, love, you’re worth the world.” 

You stared into his eyes and knew that he meant every single word. While it didn’t chase away your doubts or the empty feeling in your chest, it helped you see that this feeling would end. And for now, that was enough. 

“I love you.” You whispered, pulling him closer. He kissed the top of your head. 

“I love you too, darling.” He hooked his arm under your knees and stood, holding you against his chest. “Now, why don’t I get you something to eat and we can spend the day in bed?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I’ll behave, I promise.”

“Spike.” You laughed lightly. 

“There,” He beamed, “I knew I could get a smile.” 

He carried you into your room and placed you on your usual side of the bed, laying your fluffiest blanket over top of you. Then he vanished into your kitchen, the sound of your cupboards opening and shutting reminding you that he had no idea where anything was. It almost made you smile. He came back in with a bowl of your favorite cereal, a class of milk, and a thin leather bound journal. 

“What’s that?” You wondered as he climbed into the bed beside you. He handed you the cereal and milk and put his arm around you, pulling you close. 

“Eat your cereal.” He ordered teasingly, opening up to the first page. You tried to look over his shoulder, but he pulled the book away, laughing. “Do you want me to read or not?” 

“What is it?” Your curiosity made your tone amused and playful. You were starting to sound like you again. 

“Well, ever since I got this pesky soul back, I’ve had an unbearable amount of feelings running about in my head, so I figured I could at least put them to good use.” 

“Spike, are they…?” You perked up with excitement. He smiled sheepishly. 

“Poems.” He looked down at seemingly endless pages of his writings and back at you. “They’re mostly about you, of course. I thought, maybe, you’d like to hear them. See if they’d make you feel a little better.” You were almost too awestruck to nod. 

“I’d really like that.” 

With your cereal in hand, you curled up beside him, laying your head back against his shoulder. He read softly and slowly, his gentleness with his words almost lulling you to sleep. The poems were beautiful, forcing you to stay awake if only to hear one more word. Spike felt you relaxed against him as he read and paused his reading to kiss your forehead, then your cheek, and lastly your lips. 

You felt the emptiness for a few more days, but each day, he was by your side, making sure you ate and gave yourself time to breathe. By the time you started to feel normal again, he’d read most of his poems and continued to write more and you were able to go for your evening walks without feeling exhausted. Your friends were more than supportive and helped you through it all while still giving you the space you needed. 

It wasn’t the last time an episode like this happened, but now you always knew that, no matter what, you’d never be alone.

-

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks; @kendahl0216

[worstloki]

Wait wait wait, please tell me, what racism? 🥺 You mean from fans? From the movies? Please elaborate

okay fine. Let us talk about Mantis.

First off keep in mind gotg2 came out in 2017 and from the out-of-universe perspective the MCU's Asian rep wholly consisted of side characters such as Hogun and Jimmy Woo and Helen Cho.

Second off we go in-universe and take a look at Mantis and she's infantalized, submissive, and her appearance is played for laughs multiple times.

Let the script speak for itself, and feel free to note how Mantis puts herself down for behaviour and appearance too, and i'm pretty sure that's supposed to be funny.

"But her backstory! It makes sense she's infantalized and submissive because she's been working for Ego her whole life!" yeah okay but Mantis is biracial Asian in the comics (and so is the actor! :D!) and though her appearance comes up rudely she was also given antennae and has a human-range skin-tone? And it's also presented in a way that's supposed to be seen as adorable? Just seems real sus they can have other green/purple/blue/orange aliens in the movie but Mantis wasn't, and was given literal bug additions (that she isn't sure what they function for, though I think that's decent for the lore... autonomy) along the way? Skin tone and facial features being generally defining factors that Asians face racism for?

I loved the outfit but, you know, in the comics, (I know, I know, the MCU isn't the same as the comics, this is a new character, BUT,) the name “Mantis” is given to her because of her skill in fighting. She's a strong fighter character who also has learnt empath abilities. But I get that it;s a new iteration so lets put that aside with a link to her official comic page. Have fun.

There's also these moments where Mantis is shown happiest alongside Drax, Gamora asks what she's done violently (I can let this one go since it's the action genre and all, but just thought it's worth mentioning since Drax and Gamora are both played by actors of their own minorities though Gamora says she's not ugly and threatens to break her jaw earlier too... putting aside what Black rep Marvel has going for it for now), Drax saving her life:

So anyway, at least the movie ends on the sweet note where Drax compliments her :|

I guess you don't have to read into it too much since it's comedy but I think it stood out in the film enough to be irksome.

On the plus side I don't recall her being sexualized with camera angles though! And she definitely is shown to have strong emotion powers in putting Ego (and later Thanos even) to sleep so that's cool! And the casting is great because she's played by an Asian actor (:D!!) in case they feel like bringing in a backstory later.

I think she was better presented in Infinity War and hope they develop her character more in the future :)

[angelkurenai]

Imagine Pedro being teased and questioned about how close he is with you, Gal’s adopted sister, and trying his best to hide the fact that you are actually dating.

“So, Gal, I am going to direct this question mostly at you but of course anyone can get to answer. I actually wanted to know your opinion about it.” Conan said, as Gal herself nodded her head with a smile.

“Oh, please, with pleasure.”

“There have been several photos, and I do not mean just from paps or professionals. Even you on your personal instagram posted a few. Which, to say the least, broke the internet as we all saw.”

“Yeah uh truth is my instagram wasn't working for several hours afterwards and I thought it was just me but then I kept asking others and got the same reply from everyone! Turns out, we caused a blackout of sorts.” Gal laughed, admitting to it before looking away in embarrassment while the rest of the cast nodded their heads as if almost giving her a a playful glare, even through the screen of the computer.

“And the reason behind that, who would have thought, a couple photos!” Jimmy nodded his head “Your sister, your adopted sister (Y/n), came to visit you on the set of Wonder Woman 1984. It was, for lack of better words, a historic moment not just for instagram who crashed because of the popularity of the photos but also for comic book fans worldwide. It was the closest we could get to a Marvel and DC crossover.”

“You say that because she was in her costume in some of them yeah?” Gal asked with a bright smile, always loving to talk about her little sister as Conan nodded his head “Yes, it was (Y/n)'s idea and everyone knows it, I can never say no to my little sister. Plus, she was right; we had so much fun fooling around in our costumes! I had more fun than I've ever had on a set of a movie before. And, yes, I almost always enjoy the movies I'm in, but this one- this one was truly something else! We- almost everyone, I think, played along as we acted as our characters and filmed some scenes just for laughs. I really really hope they make it into the bloopers somehow.”

“So you're planning on taking down youtube next, I see. I see.” the host nodded his head with playfully narrowed eyes, seeming all suspicious and making everyone laugh.

“No, no I swear! I don't want to!” she said in between laughter “We all had so much fun and an amazing time on set and in front of the cameras, playing superheroes that it would be incredible for the fans to see! It's- Really, it is kind of an unofficial crossover that should make it to the internet at least!”

“I'll have to-” Patty spoke up “I'll have to give it to Gal, she is right. (Y/n) had this amazing idea and creative at the same time because she had a small plot in her mind and lines and everything concerning the set. We all did a small setup and filmed it and, honestly, it came out to be real good!”

“Patty is no even exaggerating and Gal is certainly right. We had so much fun filming that small crossover, and (Y/n)'s ideas were brilliant! Fans will definitely love it!” Kristen said in addition.

“She truly is an incredibly talented, smart and creative person, besides an absolute darling. So kind to everyone and sweet, we all couldn't get enough of her. And-” Patty raised a finger “I will say it here once more because Gal has heard it before: the fastest we've filmed a scene in this movie. And it was all thanks to how professional she was, it was truly incredible!”

“Well, I can't ever deny it, my little sister is the biggest star there is! Oscars or other awards aside, she proves how great she is on every set on her own!”

“And you are definitely her biggest fan, as we all can clearly tell.” Conan pointed out with a small laugh “Speaking of, I think we do have someone who could only be described as your main rival on that sweet stop of being your sister's number one fan. Someone who hasn't been shy about expressing his admiration about (Y/n) but who has yet to utter a word.” Conan looked back up from his papers and said someone almost felt his heart jump in fear and nervousness, hoping that at least nobody noticed that he was indeed being silent for a reason “Pedro, you're being uncharacteristically quiet about this one, especially for something that caused Instagram to crash within thirty minutes of the photos being uploaded. I'm not- I'm not used to this from you. Come on, talk to me. Say what's on your mind.”

“This is oddly- I'm getting strange deja vu vibes here. Must be cause of that one time I visited a therapist. Long story short, it was only one session for me and about hm at least 25 for him. I heard he's still going to a therapist now.” he shrugged casually, earning laughter from everyone. He chuckled slightly himself, glancing over the screen of his computer while trying his best to keep anything from showing on his face even more so his smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I mean-” he cleared his throat “Ah man, what else can I say? The ladies have spoken, and they've said exactly what- I believe anyone that gets the opportunity to work with (Y/n) or watch her movies would agree she is one of a kind.” he shrugged softly with an adorable smile “Besides, it feels like anything I say is just going to be used against me, so I- I better keep on silently observing. That does seem like it's the safest option here.”

Pedro's laugh was more of a nervous if not awkward one, but he was pretty confident it was just no different to how he would usually laugh away questions he didn't want to answer in interviews. Most celebrities did the same, he wouldn't be the first nor the last, so he didn't expect Conan to insist any further. He didn't want to push his luck, he had been really successful (if not blessed after all these close calls) with all these online interviews to not have everything revealed by accident, so now especially with the current topic, he didn't feel like messing things up. He loved this privacy, he didn't want to lose it not yet, he wanted you and this all to himself for now. And he wanted the story of how you met, of how over that one month and a half on set he felt himself fall in love with you.

And yet... Yet, he was probably a weak man, a man who couldn't help but indulge even if he knew it could probably get him in trouble. You were worth it, though, you were worth all of it and as you were his weakest spot and so indulge he did. He slowly chewed on his lower lip and he so subtly looked over the screen of his computer.

His eyes fell on you, still splayed on his bed, book in one hand and steaming mug on the nightstand – your nightstand on your side of the bed, the thought of which made his heart flutter inside his chest – hair slightly messy, that oversized Mandalorian shirt on, which you'd gotten all excited amongst many many more fandom related toys a couple months ago and couldn't wait for him to see. A shirt which had, inevitably, ended up being taken off you barely ten minutes later starting from him stealing kisses and leading to the two of you making love till the very morning in between endless giggles. The pup you'd gotten – the both of you – not so long ago made a small noise drawing your attention for a short moment as you kept petting him, the both of you too tired to do anything else after an exhausting day of playing. Pedro couldn't complain, although he'd been a part of it he had mostly spent time filming everything even if you hadn't been the one to ask him to, he couldn't help it.

It was something that the both of you decided on and although you hadn't said it out loud, you both knew and at least Pedro hoped, that it was the next step, a very important one, in your relationship besides you moving in with him. To be responsible for another living being together was, if not a test, at least a way to see how well you could cooperate. And, if he could say so himself, you had been doing great so far.

“Good morning, darling. Here for morning kisses? Yes? Come up here.” your giggles were able to warm him more than the sunlight coming through the window “Ooooh someone really loves mommy, don't you?”

And then your words set his entire being alight. Or more specifically that one particular word.

“Well-” he stretched a bit, his arms finding your waist again to bring you closer and cuddle with you “Who doesn't love mommy in this house?” he couldn't help it as his smile turned into a lovestruck grin “Morning, mi amor.”

“Good morning, darling.” you pecked his lips “And don't worry, mommy loves daddy back, enough to make up for the rest of the world.”

As if reading his mind, you chose to look up from your book at him, smiling as you held his gaze for a good few seconds. So much love was evident, even in those few seconds, he could almost feel his own heart burst. Yet another reason for him to control his reactions from showing just how much on high on happiness and love he was. You shook your head, eyes wide as you heard Conan speak again, you playfully mouthed to him “Focus!”

As subtly as possible he tried to clear his throat and taking the mug of coffee that was beside his computer, he took a sip and decided to focus on it as much as he could. Until the subject changed, at least.

“...Wise man. I feel you, so don't worry I'll leave you to it.” if only he knew the big sigh of relief Pedro tried to hold back as Conan continued “It's the tactic I follow 99% of the time when I'm out with my wife, just smile and wave kind of thing. Alright-” he nodded his head in thought “Alright, well, let me ask you all something else. You keep saying in front of the cameras and talking about this small crossover, but I assume she must have been around for longer than that, yes?”

“Yes, yes she was there for at least a month, a month and a half I think. She was on vacation, after being done with filming, and she decided that before heading home that she'd come by and visit us. It was meant to be for a short period of time. She loved the place... the people, perhaps, how could I know for sure?” she shrugged not looking innocent in the least bit, earning a few laughs.

“Anyway-” she cleared her throat “And you see before she knew it, before we all did, one week turned into two turned into three and so on. It-” she chuckled “She was around on set and with us on all those beautiful locations we were in. And while we were all working and walking around with purpose and the need to finish this scene with so much pressure on- on our shoulders and she was just sitting around with a iced coffee or tea on her hand, sunglasses on and phone on the other hand looking she didn't have a single care in the world. It kind of made everyone a little bit jealous to be honest.”

“A little? Cause I sense that there's more than you're letting on, Gal. Come on, spill the tea.”

“Alright more than a little.” she laugh “I mean, it wasn't all the time, of course. Just the first couple days mostly but you can imagine how it was. It seemed like she did it on purpose sometimes.”

“Twistin' the knife even deeper, that's what she's best at. Oh I know!” Conan nodded his head “I'm actually afraid to invite her on the show because I fear how bad she'll roast me. Andy-” he laughed “Andy is the only one who has the most fun during those interviews.”

“I know right? Boy you tell me!” Gal exclaimed “That little shit. I adore her to no end but I really had the hardest of time when she was around. She just had to make comments on everything she could, especially when I was acting. I couldn't stop laughing sometimes, but nobody got mad at her. It was always my fault somehow!”

“I mean she's just so sweet, how could we be mad at her?” Patty added.

“She messed up so many of my scenes!” Gal pretended to be angry but her smile gave it away “But it's true, I couldn't even be mad at her. I don't get to see her that often, because of the work we both do, so I would give anything to have my sister with me like that every other chance I got. Even if I got all the blame for it, there's nothing I wouldn't do for her, you understand.”

“Aw that's- that's incredibly sweet, actually. It's- that's the exact opposite of me and my brother so no I can't really understand to be honest, but alright.” Conan laughed “Well, then, you really got your chance this time, right? You had the opportunity to spend all this time with her. When you were not working of course.”

“I...” Gal trailed off, her smile turning into a mischievous one but the rest of her expression trying to remain innocent, and failing at it because she truly wasn't even trying “Well, I would say yes. And I would agree with you. And I would even ramble about the wonderful two months I spent with my sister... If that had been the case. If I had really seen her for more than a week total, then yeah I would say that.”

“Wha- P-Pardon me?” Conan blinked in surprise “Didn't you j-just say your sister was with you on set for about two months? Or have I been in a parallel universe all this time and I just now came back to our reality?”

“Oh no it's very much our reality but I also did mean what I said. My sister was on set, and I did see her quiet often. But did I spend almost all of my free time with her? Did she spend hers with me? Nope. And that-” again with a far-from-innocent shrug “That is probably the only question I can answer. What she did? Did she have fun?... Who she was with? I wish I knew. What I know is I wasn't the one closest to her on set.”

“So you're telling me, (Y/n) was on set full of people she didn't really know, and you, her sister, barely spent any time with her? I'm gonna assume the rest of you didn't spend more time with her compared to Gal, right?” he asked and got nods from everyone, well, everyone who had their eyes on their screen and therefore looking at Conan, because there was still one that would avoid eye-contact even through the screen “Well, then, who was closest to her on set, if not you?”

“She, well-” Gal paused, smile all too sweet as she added “There could be someone...”

Said someone who couldn't even look up from his mug of coffee, as if it was the most interesting thing in the entire world, and didn't dare say a word for fearing of messing things up; even if his silence spoke volumes as it was. A silence which was... even more intense than before. Even more... real. Probably because it wasn't just in his head, probably because it wasn't just from his part.

Blinking several times, he slowly raised his head to look up from his mug and at the screen of his computer. Only to be met with the eyes of the rest of the group staring at... well, they were staring at the screen of their own computers but for some reason – a reason which he knew all too well – he felt like all eyes were suddenly on him. And they probably were. Because Gal was being nice about it but almost everyone had noticed how much time you had spent with Pedro during those almost two months. You had just met back then so they didn't imply anything back then but now... now they could just as well do so.

“I-” he laughed and he hated how nervous he sounded “Is it time to talk about my character?” he asked almost shyly, nearly praying on the inside that they would say yes and let him change the subject “Well, Max Lord is a guy who-”

“Are you trying to change the subject there, Pedro? One can wonder why.” Conan narrowed his eyes “Come on, don't be shy. Share your opinion here, or maybe your personal experience. Since I am assuming you do have one?”

“Yes, Pedro, why don't you share your opinion with us?” Gal raised an eyebrow, small smirk on her lips “You've been particularly interested in that drink the past couple minutes apparently.”

“I-” Pedro paused, before shaking his head with a laugh “This is going to be a long interview. I can tell.”

[the-fiction-witch]

What The -

REAL LIFE SCANDAL  COUPLE TBS X READER RATING: FUNNY

"So! let's do something stupid" y/n smiled sitting at her table with a laptop "Hello everyone welcome to me being all alone and bored, Thomas is not home so I'm just gonna sit and do something very stupid but I got the idea in my head so now I have to see it thought" she explained "Today, while doing a daily, bored, attention disorder, avoiding my work scroll of amazon I spotted something, a beth Harmon funky pop, very cool, very nice, good recommendations amazon, and then it occurred to me, Thomas doesn't have a funky pop and then it occurred to me," she explained "I wonder how much stuff exists out there with my husbands face on. then I found out weirdly a lot. so... let's do a room makeover" "Let's do this crazy thing. Let's begin let's start on ebay because I feel like that's gonna be the place with the lest and we'll end on like red bubble because I know there is so much shit on red bubble I know I unironicly bought a Benny watts magnet for our fridge because it was the art of Benny and beth as bunnies and I just..  I had to buy it" "Okay to ebay. Let's try Benny watts first. Oohh custom Benny watts trading card. I mean I want that ooohh 11.45 plus 12.99 shipping. I mean I love Thomas' likely more then anyone I mean I love him enough to marry him and give him twin daughters but. I do not love him that much. Let's try just his name on ebay let's see what comes up. Okay... Alot of game of thrones cards like autograph cards he did so many of those he always complains about doing like the collectable card signatures because he says a Poster or photo you have space and given his signature I understand what he means it's a large signature so he kinda has to sizeit down for cards and he ends up with like a bad wrist for it... What! Life sized cut out standee. I mean I don't want two Thomas'. I feel like that's a weird thing but for the sake of the room make over I mean. I gotta do it. There is two one in a suit. Ohh that's now his best suit look he has better suits then that. Do him in the korea death cure suit that thing is amazing or what they are calling brown jacket. Awwww I miss that jacket. He got rid of that recently and I was so sad because I actually really like that Jacket I have to get that one then ohh two sizes life sized. Well got to have life sized and then mini, how big is mini? 60cm awww you could like sit him on your desk. Does anyone actually have these life sized or mini I wanna see them, please send me pictures. I shall get a life sized because I must, ha! One of the pictures says simple and easy to erect. Well I mean. They clearly have met Thomas. Lot of dvds. Aww nanny mcphee worth two pounds sixty. I mean I love that movie but I understand DVDs are like basically vhs tapes now. I'm sorry that may have been too old for you young people. Uhh DVDs are basically ipod nanos. More posters the posters o might get to put in picture frames because of jokes I'm taking this one joke so far. Ohh my god! Yes! The cut out people do one of him and Dylan. I mean. I have to. He may actually wanna keep a life sized cut out of him an dylan. I have to don't I? It has to be done. I gotta get that one. A shirt that says eat. Sleep. And obsess over Thomas brodie sangster. I mean... If I was doing a clothing then yes but we're doing a room make over. Maybe next week. Maze runner keyring! What? So you can get newt, minho, Thomas or all three of them on a keyring. I'm buying that. I also kinds want that. Put Thomas on my keys. Take him places. Okay let's go on ... I think wish next. Yes! Thomas pillow. Okay that's a throw pillow luckily I have many of those so we can do many throw pillow covers. Is that lampwick? Oh my God. Wish ten points for obscure. Maybe it's because wish doesn't wanna get sued for using the pictures so instead of the pics they all use they just dug feel to find a lampwick that knowone remembers for 7.97 gotta be done we getting a lampwick pillow ohh and a tdc newt pillow I assume from the same company as the pillow they have photoshoped the picture on is the same, gonna get that too ohh there's alot of throw pillows I know I said I had alot of pillows I don't have this many. I'm gonna pick three good pics like not blury or stolen art and then I'm sure we'll get another three pillows somewhere else if not I'll come back. Rafe sadler phone case! I mean. Again points of obscure it's not just all newt which I adore. What the! That is a Thomas blanket. I mean. Oh my God. It's not just like one big stolen imagine that's a collage. But it's like fifty pound so moving on. Newt on a handbag. Newt on a backpack. I'm gonna have to do a clothes episode of this. What the! Newt. On a car sunshade! Sold. I'll actually use that for my car in sold 17 pounds sign me up. There's alot of blankets actually. I'm gonna weight thought of I'm gonna get a blanket I know they do them on rwdbubble and atleast then I give fifty pound to creator and not to wish so moving on. Newt bucket hat. I mean not home where but later. I'll be back. Ohh a mug that says mentally dating Thomas brodie sangster. Uhh I'm married to him so can I like cross it out and write married. No again I'll wait gonna see what other mugs there are. Newt socks. It's all the same newt picture over and over but those are amazing. Thomas on... What is that. Ohh a pill box. Okay Thomas on a pill box. Next Amazon. Lot of the same stuff pillows posters, phone cases. Oohh Thomas onna glasses case. Getting that. Thomas onna pencil case. Ah yes take Thomas to school with you. Again getting that. What! Thomas on a towel. A towel. In various towel sizes. Okay I'm getting those. Oohh wall tapestry might get one of those gonna come back to it, Thomas on a drawstring backpack I mean. But how the picture is everytime you use it the face will smoosh. Now to the place I know will have lots because they have so many options for what they print onto. Let's go to red bubble. So many stickers I'll get stickers and just put them on everything in the room for funzies oh my God! That's a duvet. Not a blanket that is a duvet. Gotta get us a duvet and a blanket both with different college images. Queens gambit tote bag. I mean. I want that. It's just like the vegas table set that's cool I might buy that.  Ohhhhhh the bit in queens gambit with Benny in the kimono they have it. And they have it on sixty one things as a shirt. As a sticker m a tote bag. A laptop case. A metal sign. In a block of acrylic. A set of four costers. A pin. A mug. A water bottle, travel mug, face mask, note book, and many many more. This is why I wanted to be here last. There is so much stuff in so many designs ohh hers another Thomas. He's available on over 80 items. Over 80! Let's see what else we can get then tapestry! I knew we'd get about tapestry, bath mat! I'm doing the bedroom but I'm gonna get a bath mat and just use it as a rug, comforter, so I can get a duvet, a blanket and a comforter I'm getting all three, yes, shower curtains okay I'm gonna use these as actually curtians for this. On a clock. On a clock. We getting the clock, apron! Benny watts on a aporn. I love it. Yes! Jigsaw puzzle! I would actually do a jigsaw of thomas that would be fun. Ohh this one has 91 options. Ah yes get Thomas on your a line dress. Get Thomas on your mini skirt. Get Thomas on your canvas art get Thomas onna baby onesie. I'm getting two of those with different pictures put the girls in them, get thomas on a duffle bag get a thomas on everything."

"I think I have found enough to make a beautiful bedroom make over to legs spend some money and I'll be back when it has all arrived to my doorstep"

"Hello. Here I am. Thomas is shopping so I have a couple of hours to do this." She explained in her bedroom surrounded by boxes "so. Let's time lapse a Bitch"

"Oh my god. This looks like the most fangirl bedroom of all time. Ohh just got my tea in my Thomas mugs on Thomas coster, beside my thomas duvet, comforter and blanket with my lovely Thomas throw pillows. Maybe today I shall do a bit of my thomas puzzle. Ohh by look at the time on my thomas clock really should let in some light by pulling back my thomas curtains. Step into my thomas rug, wave to my thomas standee. That's the worse one for me. Because it's life sized and it actually is this is his height I keep catching it in my eye line and it makes me jump. Thomas art on the walls, Thomas tapestry by the bed, stickers on literally anything I couldn't buy I just stuck stickers all over, I mean.... I'm not proud of what I've done. But I'm impressed.

"Hi Thomas" y/n smiled as he stood in the kitchen clearly just having put the shopping away "Hi" "How was shopping?" "Good. I got ice cream" "Ooohh what flavor?" "Strawberry and cream." "That's good, you want some coffee?' "Yeah that'd be lovely sweetheart" "Here you go" she smiled handing him a mug "What the- what does this say?" "I like my men like I like my tea, hot and british. Then it's you see" "Is this what was in that big box you had come?" "Yeah" "Okay. Very nice dear" he laughs taking it and having a sip of the coffee within "It's not all of it" "All of what?" "What was in the box" "Okay what else was in it?" "I've done some redecorating" "Right?" He asks sounding suspicious "I think your gonna like it" "May I see it?" "Yes, but I'm gonna cover your eyes when you go in" "Okay so surprise home renovation?" "Yep"

She stood in the doorway covering his eyes as he searched hopelessly for information with his hands "ready?' "Yes. I wanna see what in earth you've done" "One. Two. Three." "....... What the- what the fuck! What is this?" He asks unable to stop giggling but also kinda crying "I know when we moved i did alot of the decorating so I wanted the bedroom to feel a bit more you" "A bit more me. Really? What the actual fuck. I didn't know it was possible. Like I didn't know I was on duvets let alone that you could literally decorate a room with me" "You wanna lay on the bed" "No. I don't." "Or the blanket. Or comforter" "Ohh my god. How many pillows!" "Six throw pillows then our usual four that match the duvet. Believe it or not I picked six there was so many more" "Even the fucking coasters! Who is making this?" "Do you like the rug" "Ohh my god I hadn't even seen the rug, or the clock on for fuck sake." "Are you mad?" "I'm not mad I'm gobsmaked this exists. I'm blown away that I even exist as a curtian let alone that you can buy them and you have put them up in our bedroom" "I like the jigsaw I may actually finish that" "That's a jigsaw puzzle? A jigsaw puzzle of benny watts half naked?" "Yep" "I wanna know what the sales figures are for that item" "I do too honestly." "Is this. Is this a pencil case?" "Yes, and that's a glasses case" "Ohh my god." "Is anything in here something you knew existed before this?" "The standee I knew was a thing. I remember allowing that, even if they think I'm a bit shorter. The rest of this. May be hearing from our lawyer."

"So? Do you like it?' y/n asks sat on the bed with her mug Thomas beside her "Uhhhh. I'm surprised. I'm shocked. And frankly just... Just what the fuck it's all I can say. I mean I'm amazed you did this and that I had literally no idea, I knew you where getting parcels alot lately but it never even entered my mind you could be doing something like this." "Is there anything in this room we can keep? After this video" "Maybe one of the mugs. And maybe the jigsaw because I feel like you are gonna have fun with that" "I will" she smiled "ooh I forgot something" "Ohh god" She gets up running else where "All I ask is it's not a vibrator. It's the only thing I can think of that isn't in here. Please I beg that to not be a thing that exists" "Hi daddy!" Y/n smiled off screen and he burst out laughing "No. No.no.no.no" he says opening his arms and taking maggie into his chest "no. What has mummy done to you?" He cries as both girls had little Thomas onzies "So you know. You know there your daughters" "I don't need to know there mine. I need clothes that help me tell them apart when there this little, ohh my poor little baby, what has mummy done to you? My poor child. Let's get you out of this and get you back in your pretty dress with me penguin" "Yeah. Let's take this all down. Even I think this was a bit far for a joke" "A bit yeah. Save it all thought I'm taking it to the lawyer tomorrow" he says getting up to take the girls back to bed.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Cravings ~ JJK [Request]

WORD COUNT: 1.7K

GENRE: established relationship, pregnancy au, fluffy with some angst

PAIRING: Jeon Jungkook x fem!reader

A/N: I hope this is okay for you, I didn't want to go too dramatic with it as it involved pregnancy so I did this!

Throughout the whole of your pregnancy, you had been scared to do pretty much about anything on your own. Going out into the streets like you used to was hard since everyone knew who you were or rather who you were dating since Jungkook and your relationship had been admitted to everyone about 6 months ago. The only reason it was even outed was that you'd fallen pregnant and Jungkook no longer wanted to hide the fact that he was in a loving and committed relationship with someone. 

"Baby please," You begged down the phone with Jungkook as you laid on the sofa in your house, legs hanging over the arm of the sofa as you rocked them back and forth. 

"I'm busy babe I promise I'll stop by the store on my way home..." You rolled your eyes at Jungkook and looked at the time, 

"That's not for another seven hours." You grumbled, you were craving the ben and jerry's birthday cake ice cream terribly and it was starting to bug you. All night long you'd had a craving for it but you'd run out last week and Jungkook kept forgetting to pick it up for you. 

"Send one of the boys if you're busy, I need it. The baby and I need it," You whined as you tried to convince him but it wasn't going to work. Jungkook and the boys were already in enough trouble with always leaving work to go and get you everything you were craving. Jungkook had been in trouble with their manager that week for leaving the house at 4 am to go and get you McDonald's hashbrowns...Worth it though since you'd been craving them at all hours of the morning.

"Baby I can't, we're already in enough trouble." You sighed at him as you thought back on the manager yelling at him before. 

"Fine. I-I'll go by myself," You slowly got up off the sofa, moving around when you were almost nine months pregnant wasn't the easiest of things to do. You pulled back the curtains on your window to see that the garden was empty of people, BigHit has issued a statement claiming that if anyone was caught on the private property they would be sued. 

"Baby no. Stay at home. I'll bring some when I come home," You rolled your eyes at him, 

"Fine. I'll stay at home." You lied as you waited for him to go back to work so you could go and get ready to go out. It was no big deal. You could stay hidden under a hoodie and sunglasses, it wasn't like you were the famous one in the relationship. 

"Stay at home my ass," You mumbled as you began waddling up the staircase towards your bedroom, finding out some maternity leggings and a giant oversized hoodie that would at least make the bump look a little bit smaller than it was.

It wasn't so bad so far, the streets were empty and you'd driven yourself into town and parked far enough away from the store you actually wanted so no one would know you were inside. No one seemed to have noticed that it was you walking towards the store which was great. Maybe the fact that Bighit had threatened to file lawsuits was getting to them and they were going to finally leave you alone.

"Thank you, dear," An elderly woman said as you held open the door to the freezer store for her, you smiled softly before grabbing a basket and making your way straight to the dessert section of the store. The only thing you wanted to do was get the ice cream and head straight home, curl up on the sofa with a movie and just eat all you could before Jungkook got home and told you off for leaving the house without him. 

Looking through the glass doors to see if you could spot your favourite flavour but it seemed as though they were out of stock, nothing but an empty section when the flavour should have been sitting. 

"Excuse me?" You asked as a worker walked behind you carrying a clipboard, she turned to look at you with a smile and you smiled back at her. 

"Could you tell me if you have any of the birthday cake ice creams in the back?" The worker - Jennie - began to look through the sheets on her clipboard trying to see if they'd had a delivery of it yet but it didn't seem as though there was anything inside. She started shaking her head putting the clipboard against her chest, 

"Unfortunately we don't seem to have it but-" She reached into the fridge and pulled out a different tub. 

"Their strawberry swirled one is even better, I craved this whenever I was pregnant." She laughed softly as she showed you the front of the tub, reading through what was inside you smiled brightly.

"I'll get this one," Your mouth watering at the thought of getting to have some kind of ice cream at all, the baby kicking as well. 

"Someone else likes it too," You laughed as you placed four tubs into the basket and then grabbed two of Jungkook's favourites while you were at it. 

"That will be-" Jenni who was standing at the counter stopped speaking when she looked up behind you, you glanced over your shoulder to see what she was so shocked by to see about one-hundred people all gathered outside of the store. Staring inside as they looked for you she looked back at you with wide eyes.

"Oh fuck." You bit down on your lip looking back down at the counter as you tried to keep yourself hidden, 

"We don't even have this many people on sale day-"

"Sorry...I shouldn't have come out." You bit down on your lip again as you watched the manager lock the doors so that none of them could get inside. Jennie smiled sadly at you, she'd known who you were from the moment you were looking for ice cream but she'd done everything she could to make it seem as though she didn't. 

"What's going on?" Her boss questioned as she walked in the direction of the till, looking at you as you began to rub the baby bump nervously. 

"Sasaengs..." You mumbled slowly as you watched a bunch of them all take out their phones and begin to record everything that they could see. Jungkook and you had had to deal with them from the beginning of your relationship coming out, they seemed to appear anywhere and everywhere you went so you should have expected this really.

"Come and sit down." The elderly lady you'd held the door open for said as she pulled out one of the worker stools in an aisle, you waddled over and sat down beside her trying to calm down your breathing. There was nobody in the store except for you, the elderly lady and four other workers with their boss who was now staring down at you as she wondered how to go about this.

"Is there a back exit I can get out of? I don't really want to sit and face all of them." Thoughts of walking out of the front door began to cloud your mind and you whimpered feeling the baby kicking harder against your bladder. 

"No, we only use the front door to get in and out..." The boss looked over at the door to see that the group of people only seemed to be growing larger inside as the minutes when by. 

"I'll have to call my...My boyfriend," You whispered shyly as you took out your phone to call Jungkook to already see seventeen missed calls from him and a bunch of texts about how he told you to stay instead.

"Kookie?" You asked down the phone as it started to ring again, Jungkook was panting down the other side of the line as he rushed towards the store he knew you were at. The location had been tweeted out on twitter and shared by a bunch of people which meant BigHit saw it almost instantly. 

"I'm coming now. I told you not to leave the house baby," He didn't seem angry with you but more disappointed than anything which made you feel bad for doing something you know you shouldn't have been doing. 

"I really wanted the ice cream," You pouted as you let out a whine, looking over at the door to see that people were starting to move away from it and two large men stood by the door.

"I take it those are with you?" You giggled as you heard Jungkook making his way through the crowd of people, people screaming to him as he just tried to get to the door. 

"They are." You looked at him at the door and the manager walked over to them, unlocking them to allow him inside and you smiled weakly hanging up the phone. 

"I got your favourite if it makes you feel better." You held up the bag of ice cream and he sighed at you, shaking his head as he held out his hand for you to take. 

"Come on, I have the car waiting outside and manager Sejin is taking your car." He told you as he reached into your jacket pocket to take out the keys and smile at you. 

"You're not going to let me go out alone are you-"

"Baby, you're not even going to be at home alone, I've made sure to arrange your own personal guard to be with you at all times. You can make him get your ice cream," He chuckled as you both began to leave the store, ignoring the constant screams of questions and asking for photos as you made your way to the waiting black Range rover at the side of the road. 

Bighit released a second statement about if anyone was caught following or harassing you that they would be sued as well. Jungkook didn't want to risk anything happening to you or your child for as long as he could help it. He was going to protect you until his last dying breath.

Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @fan-ati--c​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​ @rjsmochii​ @sw33tnight​ @bisexualmess007​ @sweeneyblue1​ @jin-from-the-block​

[snarktheater]

Ready Player Two — Chapter 4

“Hello!” I shouted at the Six-Fingered Man one final time. “My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father. Prepare to die!”

I was going to make a glib comment that I can't see Wade enjoying a movie like Princess Bride, where the love story is actually pretty cute and healthy, but I guess it tracks that he would relate to the guy on a quest for revenge.

This is the chapter opening, by the way. It goes on for a whole page as the book just describes to me the scene from the movie where Inigo kills the Six-Fingered Man. And I have to wonder who this is for, because I've seen the movie, so now you've just reminded me of a better story I could be enjoying instead of this, but for someone who hasn't seen the movie, this is pointless fluff.

It's excused as a quest in the OASIS, by the way. Because—and I can't believe it took me this long to point this out in this book—no one actually does game design in the OASIS. Shoto was mentioned last chapter as designing new quests, but they were all based on anime he likes too.

Doing this quest is part of Wade's "research" into the stuff Kira liked, and Wade has completed it four times, with a perfect score each time because of course he did. This is also the first time Kira is referred to by her maiden name Underwood instead of Morrow, and I don't know why the book suddenly decided to pull that switch but it feels like a bad omen somehow.

she’d helped create all of the interactive OASIS quests based on it. (Including the controversial gender-swapped The Prince Groom, in which Buttercup is the swashbuckling heroine and Westley serves as the damsel in distress.)

You know, I'm not going to say I'm totally tuned with all feminist discourse all the time, but I'm pretty sure The Princess Bride is usually one that gets a pass for the use of the damsel in distress because it still infuses the damsel with narrative agency. Like, I could be wrong, but I'm somewhat confident that that's a really cold take. So producing a gender-swapped version would honestly be kind of hollow.

Wade catches us up on his three years' worth of research so far, which mostly entails that it exists, he totally accumulated a lot of info on Kira, it's right here in this digital notebook, he just won't tell us what's in it. We also learned that Wade tried to use his superuser privileges to cheat and try to get info about the shards from the game itself, and it failed.

But whenever I tried wishing for information about the Seven Shards, a message would flash across my HUD: NICE TRY, CHEATER!

Remember how outraged Wade was that Sorrento would employ a team of people to do his research for him, and feed him answers through an ear piece, but as soon as Wade has access to power he also tried to use it in this quest—not to mention all the other stuff he pulled with that power, like buying out a company who was suing him and bearing down on people making fun of him with fallacious lawsuits? Yeah, I remember.

It's like Lindsay Ellis said (well, quoted): absolute power doesn't corrupt so much as it reveals, and in Wade's case, what it reveals is not great.

There's also this tiny problem:

What was I hoping would happen when I completed it? I had already achieved wealth and fame in reality, and in the OASIS my avatar was already all-powerful and invulnerable. I had nothing more to prove to anyone.

Just to be clear, this is part of the recap, so he's outgrown this mentality. But still: it's kind of a problem when your character motivations are so transparently awful, right? Especially because it seems the reason he's outgrown it is that he's obsessed, which can make for a decent character flaw, but not good character motivation. And if your protagonist doesn't have motivation, you kind of don't have a story.

Well, obsession, and also paranoia:

I’d never shaken my curiosity about the Siren’s Soul, or the nagging suspicion that something terrible would happen if I failed to obtain it.

So I guess his motivation is still mostly personal gain after all, then?

Wade keep infodumping about all his speculation, and just in case: since the riddle talks about an heir paying a toll, he expects that only he can find the Shards, or at least that he has to have a role in it. And since it mentions the Shards are on worlds where "the Siren" played a role, he's expecting seven planets in the OASIS linked to Kira, which isn't helping since she was art director on the OASIS's early development.

(In interviews, Ogden Morrow had always gone out of his way to stress the importance of his wife’s contribution to the creation of the OASIS, while Halliday rarely even acknowledged it. Which was no surprise, since he had a history of doing the same thing to Og, and everyone else who worked for them at GSS.)

You're just gonna mention that? Without any thought or comment on it? Okay. Then I'll move on as well.

In grand Ready Player One fashion, Wade has already done the legwork of narrowing it down to nine planets he thinks are likely candidates due to more personal connections to Kira. Which Wade lists for us. In order: Princess Bride, Dark Crystal, Sonic the Hedgehog, Sailor Moon, Doctor Who, and then, shock of all shocks, a planet that isn't actually based on nerdy properties? I didn't even know these were allowed! But before I get to them, side-note: the Sailor Moon planet is named Usagi, which is the protagonist's name, when it should clearly be named Silver Millennium, and I'm calling Ernest Cline a fake fucking fan.

That planet is Halcydonia, the place that acted as Wade's preschool as a kid. The other three are planets Kira didn't actually work on, but where she had spent a lot of time. Which Wade knows, because he has access to the activity log of every OASIS user except for Halliday, Ogden Morrow, and himself post-victory. Which he tells us in excruciating detail, and yes, that includes his friends, and he has never told them this. Because Wade is the worst.

I’d stopped checking Aech and Shoto’s logs years ago—partly out of respect for their privacy, but mostly because I quickly discovered that I didn’t want or need to know when they were ducking me to spend time hanging out with other people. But I still checked Art3mis’s usage logs at least once a week. I couldn’t resist.

I have to read these tangents, so I will fucking include them and make you all suffer with me.

Tangent over. Sadly, the last three planets are back to business as usual. The first is based on Hayao Miyazaki's films, because if there's one artist I can imagine would be totally on board with having his creations replicated wholesale by a megacorporation, it's Hayao Miyazaki. The second is Middle-Earth, and the third is Chthonia, Halliday's recreation of his Dungeons and Dragons world and the setting of the previous book's climax.

It's also important for you to know that aside from Middle Earth, Wade has apparently already searched all of these planets completely exhaustively, which is a thing that's apparently possible. Considering how much stuff people still find in old games after decades, I would question that, but this is the guy who improvised a program to exhaustively search a whole planet at the start of the last book. I'm not going to question the logic here. Only the bad pacing.

Wade also tells us he literally broke his friendship with Ogden Morrow because he was asking about his dead wife so much. Which, no shit. It's already creepy enough that Halliday made this whole follow-up riddle around his friend's wife who he pined after seemingly until he died. You could have just. Not harassed him about it too.

Not only that, but Ogden has apparently made it clear he was willing to patch things up, on the condition that Wade stops looking for the Seven Shards.

I closed my grail diary and stood up. Just seven more days, I promised myself. Another week. If I hadn’t made any progress by then, I’d hang it up for good and make my amends with Og. I had made this promise to myself many times before, but this time I intended to keep it.

That is what an addict would say, I suppose.

And so, in typical Ready Player fashion, on the same page that Wade introduces to us a ticking clock that could be a source of conflict, we finally get back to that gunter teased in the prologue as having found a clue to one of the Seven Shards. Because Ernest Cline has no sense of dramatic pacing and also I guess doesn't do any structural edits to his book after the first draft. Or if he does, he's just also bad at that.

That gunter goes by L0hengrin, after Parzival's son in German Arthurian lore. Cute. Wade even seems to be already aware of her as the host of a gunter Youtube show, but she's not like other girls…I mean, not like other gunter Youtubers.

L0hengrin had an incredibly upbeat personality, and an infectious brand of enthusiasm that reminded me of how I’d felt in the early days of the contest. The brief voice over that opened her show seemed to sum up her life’s philosophy: “Some people define themselves by railing against all of the things they hate, while explaining why everyone else should hate it too. But not me. I prefer to lead with my love—to define myself through joyous yawps of admiration, instead of cynical declarations of disdain.”

I'm sure someone's going to say this is a callout. I'll have you know, I have plenty of hobbies outside of this blog. I live on a balanced diet of both love and hate, and in fact, I would say that not only do I love to hate some things (not this book, though; the Shadowhunter franchise would be a better candidate), but also, my hate for things fuels my love for other things. No light without shadow, it's when you realize how bad it gets that you gain true appreciation for stuff you have, et cetera.

Aside from the personal screed, though…this really doesn't strike me as unique of her. I think Ernest Cline hasn't checked Youtube in a while. Or maybe all he's done was name-search himself and saw only negativity, and decided that meant the platform was wholly negative, rather than it being a him problem.

But I know what you're wondering. This is a woman Wade whose existence Wade not only is aware of, but also seems to lowkey admire. Well, fear not.

My appreciation for L0hengrin and her show may have been slightly colored by the fact that I’d developed a mild crush on her.

Yes, Wade has a crush on his groupie. And isn't that just fantastic. I can't wait for this love for the ages.

I'm not joking with this groupie thing, by the way: Wade goes out of his way to tell us she stuck by him through all his bad PR and legal troubles, her gunter clan is called "L0w Five" in reference to the High Five, and, you know, her username. This is all stuff the narration calls attention to. It's on purpose.

Also worth noting: Lohengrin's real identity is a mystery to all, and she's prone to changing her avatar's gender.

Regardless of her avatar’s current gender, L0hengrin’s public profile specified that her preferred gender pronouns were she and her.

I remember reading that this book would touch on trans issues—aside from the offhand "nonbinary" mention in the prologue. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Miracle of all miracles, though, is that Wade hasn't used his superuser privileges to stalk her in the OASIS or offline. Yet.

But back to Lohengrin's message. She found the shard in Middletown. Remember that planet from book one, that recreated Halliday's hometown? Yeah, it was in the guest bedroom Kira once lived in as an exchange student, but apparently only Wade can pick up the shard itself. Wade claims he's already searched the place and found nothing, but he…well, I'm not sure what his thought process is, actually. But he decides to check it out.

I pulled up a three-dimensional map of the OASIS, then used my superuser HUD to pinpoint the current location of L0hengrin’s avatar. Just as I hoped, she was still on Middletown, in one of the 256 copies of Halliday’s hometown spread out across the planet’s surface. I made my avatar invisible and undetectable, then teleported to her exact location.

Well, I already have to recant my "didn't stalk Lohengrin in-game" statement. Hopefully the offline part will hold a little longer.

So the plot has actually started now. Maybe. Hopefully. I mean, I expect that every chapter, so maybe that's on me.