#these things pretty much have to happen there has to be a level of exploitation and objectification

[headspace-hotel]

I looked up some stuff about the "domestication syndrome" in animals because I read a couple times in books the idea that domesticated animals are neotenous, meaning they retain juvenile traits into adulthood. The idea being that humans have essentially created more helpless, more exploitable versions of wild animals to "dominate" and abuse nature.

I thought, "Okay, that sounds like something that couldn't be proven. How much do we even know about the juvenile brain development of, say, wild goats or boars, anyway?"

So I found this review of the literature that goes back to the fur farm fox domestication study and it's even worse than I thought: We don't even know that a 'domestication syndrome' in animals exists at all, let alone whether it is a retention of juvenile traits into adulthood.

So the fur farm fox domestication study: you may have heard of it, it claimed to have demonstrated that within a few generations, by selecting for tameness, the researchers bred "domesticated" foxes with a whole suite of traits that appear in many domesticated animals but seem unrelated to tameness, such as piebald coloration and floppy ears. The idea is that the genes for tameness and for these other traits commonly seen in domestic animals are linked, that is, an animal that inherits one is likely to inherit the other.

There's some major problems. First of all, all the foxes used in the study were from fur farms, and had already been selected for some level of docility and for coat color variation. The foxes didn't get white spots on them because they were selected for tameness, instead the pre-existing population they were selected from had those genes in it to begin with. Also, the effective population size of the foxes in the study was pretty small, meaning a small amount of genetic drift could have a big impact.

Second, there isn't very much evidence for most of the "domestication syndrome" traits in most animals. Even where the "domestication syndrome" traits can be found, they are often particular to specific breeds, and it's unclear whether they are linked to domestication as such or just the development of that specific breed.

This study only deals with a few animals, mostly small animals. It would be even more interesting to see a breakdown of even more animals (particularly more large animals). Off the top of my head, almost none of these would apply to horses, and only in specific cases would apply to cattle. Even in dogs, extreme changes in skull morphology have happened relatively recently with breeders in modern times going after extreme phenotypes.

Particular to cats: extreme skull changes and floppy ears occur as part of some "breeds" because they are specific painful genetic disorders that breeders of cats decided to perpetuate VERY recently. Scottish Folds were deliberately developed from cats that just so happened to have a disease that causes them to be in constant suffering due to their messed up joints, it's not just a variation that regularly pops up in cats to varying extents. Likewise with the smushed-face Persians. Their brains are getting squished into where their spinal cords should go because their skulls are so messed up from selective breeding for an extreme look.

What domestication means has been majorly shaken up in the past hundred years. With companion animals, breeders are in a race to make the most screwed up animal with the most extreme, striking traits possible, and with livestock animals, lots of heritage breeds with more variations have straight up gone extinct because they've been flattened into industrial monocultures to produce meat and milk as efficiently as possible, health and genetic diversity be damned.

To study domestication itself, you would have to study landrace breeds, right?

Basically there isn't one thing that domestication is

[unofficial-underfell]

Hey guys, I've been thinking about making this post for a long time and I think its finally time I do so. After realizing that some of my last work was done over a year ago, I don't think I can really ignore it anymore. While I haven't quite thrown in the towel on this quite yet, it's pretty evident to me and I'm sure to everyone who still follows this blog that my fervor for the project has drastically decreased. And has been kind of dead for a while. The comic has not been a priority to me, or posting online much at all actually. I did some soul searching and found that I'd started relying on outside approval for my art instead of doing art for the sake of wanting to tell a story and express myself throughout my work. I have limited energy and depression and sometimes it feels like i get such little progress done even though it takes all of my energy. While I'm trying to go to the gym more and build better habits my energy levels and mood still have a lot to be desired, and I'd rather use the limited energy I have to work on something I'm more passionate about.

I've been trying to grow my skills and absorb more stories and I've moved around a lot and started to listen to what I really felt, and I found that a lot of the art I want to focus on deals with heavier and more mature topics. I do love this story, and all of the characters and I feel like I could make a really clever subversion of what is expected from an Underfell comic. But I feel like in these uncertain times with the world and with all of the stuff going on right now, I'd like to use my energy to work on stories that hit closer to the things that I feel are important. So that's why I've not been posting much.

I'm working on a book, and I've actually got quite a lot of progress done on it, but because of all the horror stories online about people stealing author's original works, I'm kind of holding off on publishing any chapters before I can copyright the first draft of the novel. So my online activity will still be pretty scarce for a bit, though I'll still post occasionally on my @cosmicpixel01 account. I'll try better to not be so radio silent though lol. Even if that means I'll post something boring about my dog or books I'm reading just so everyone knows I'm still alive.

I don't want to call it quits on the story. But I also feel like you guys have been kept waiting to see what happens for a really long time, and that makes me feel so guilty. I will try to finish up the pages I have in the works, and I'm probably going to switch to a different format that is some drawings, some writing to finish the story. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to finish it the way I intended for you guys, even with all of the support and kind words and even the fanart that I've kept in a folder on my desktop. I am letting a lot of you down, but I feel like the radio silence is probably more irresponsible than just going out and saying something. And I'm sorry I've kept you all waiting for a not-so-happy update on the blog.

I hope that some of you will continue to follow me for some of my other exploits and see whatever other things I have going on, but I understand that you all followed me for Undertale so I don't want you to feel any sort of guilt if you decide not to. I'm just happy you all supported me for so long.

I'll try to work on this blog again soon, and if anyone has any questions, my asks are open, though I'll probably keep the asks private. Until then I hope everyone stays safe out there. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

-Avery

[writingquestionsanswered]

How do you get comfortable having bad things happen to your characters?

Dealing with Character Harm Discomfort

It's pretty common for writers to feel like their characters are real people... we view them as our kids, family, or friends, and we care about them as deeply as we would if they were real. However, we wouldn't be writers if we didn't have the intelligence required to know that they are not, in fact, real people--and that they're not actually experiencing any of the harm we put them through.

That said, if you're experiencing discomfort on behalf of your characters when they're harmed in your story, it's worth examining where that discomfort is actually coming from. Because again, you know they're not real people, so that's not where the discomfort is actually coming from. So, where is it coming from instead?

1 - Harm without Substance - Every writer is different and every story is different, but if you're trying to write fiction with plot, character development, and meaning, you need to make sure the harm you put your characters through is in service of the plot. In other words, it has to move the plot, character development, or world building forward in some way. It should also tie back to your story's themes and messaging. Otherwise, the discomfort you're feeling is probably just your subconscious saying, "this is harm for the sake of drama and it has no substance."

2 - The Harm Hits Close to Home - Sometimes we put our characters through things because we're trying to process harm we've experienced ourselves, or harm that our loved ones or people in our community have experienced, and putting our characters through it is our way of processing. So, it's not really that you're feeling discomfort for your characters so much as you're feeling discomfort for yourself, loved ones, or community members. If you can look at what you're putting your characters through and see parallels to harm you've experienced or that hits close to home, it may be worth talking to a professional about it to analyze what's going on and learn some healthy coping strategies.

3 - Exploitative Harm - Another source of discomfort worth considering is discomfort from knowing, on some level, that you're exploiting real world harm for the sake of drama and entertainment. So, in this case, it's not discomfort for what your characters are going through, but personal discomfort because you know you're doing something that may be harmful to some of your readers. In this case, it's again important to make sure the harm in your story has purpose and that you're portraying it in a way that is respectful and authentic. The best thing you can do in this case is to make sure you utilize sensitivity readers to make sure your portrayal is safe and won't cause actual harm.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[thescarletnargacuga]

Hey there! I just wanna start by saying that I absolutely adore your work! You always know how to pull a reader right in, and I always get excited when you post something new (especially the Showtime stuff, but I'm biased on that front).

Anyway, to keep the train rolling, I've got a Harlequin request for you:

Pomni is out on patrol duty, with a plucky little Cade in tow. Suddenly, they encounter a group of rogue marionettes that somehow snuck their way into the occupied part of the city. Naturally, Pomni's protective instincts kick in, and she engages them.

Cade has never seen his mom in combat before, and he's pretty excited at first, but when he witnesses the level of brutality she displays, he becomes rather frightened…

(It's my first time making a request like this, so I'm really really nervous. I hope this prompt isn't too weird or anything)

A/N: Anon, Anon, come here. Come closer. I won't bite. THIS IS PERFECT! This situation gives a chance for mother/son bonding and growth. While the world they live in has improved, it's still very dangerous. Thank you for this!

~

THE WAY OF THE COMBAT HARLEQUIN

A HARLEQUIN AU ONESHOT

Harlequin AU credit: @tadc-harlequin-au @iamespecter

WARNING: intense violence, mechanical gore, trauma, hurt/comfort

~~~

Cade had accompanied his mother on her patrols before but they've always been in the inner city. The worst thing she usually dealt with was a neighborly dispute. It was mostly an excuse to get her son out of the house and have him run his energy out.

Now that he was ten, Pomni figured he was ready for a more outer patrol. While not leaving the bounds of the occupation, they were further out from the main population and therefore there was a higher risk of seeing something that wasn't a puppet.

"Do you think we'll see a seeker!?" Cade asked as he swung an old piece of pipe like a sword. He hadn't received any combat training yet, but it's been promised to him. It's a necessary skill to survive. He's heard the stories of his mother's exploits and he's no stranger to dangerous situations himself. "I'd like another chance to take down one of those mechanical mutts!"

Pomni smiled at her son's enthusiasm, seeing so much of herself in him, but her motherly instinct overrides her combat harlequin pride. "I doubt it. The border patrols can handle more than a single seeker, and besides, you're not ready for-"

A group of panicked puppets ran towards them. Pomni grabbed Cade out of the way of the stampeding crowd. Cade dropped what he was holding out of surprise and held to his mother.

Before Pomni could ask what was happening, a tall humanoid marionette vaulted itself over a pile of crates and landed on a puppet. It stabbed the puppet in the chest with it's right hand, sharp digits pierced the puppet's heart and pulled out the core in one swift motion. The puppet's body immediately went limp on the ground as the D.I.E was encapsulated in the marionette's grasp and stored in the forearm.

Pomni's body geared for battle, this was worse than any seeker. She drew her sword. "Extractor!! Cade, run!" She pushed him away from her, motioning him to go with the fleeing puppets. She didn't take her eyes off the marionette, these things were fast and looking away for even a second could be deadly.

Cade hesitated to leave, completely overwhelmed by what was happening. "But mo-"

"GO!!" Pomni rushed the extractor as it made a move to chase another puppet. She deflected it's attacking reach, stopping the extractor in it's tracks. She stood between it and the innocent lives that depended on her for protection.

Cade took a few steps away but instead of fleeing, he hid. He's never seen his mother in full combat mode. He shrank further into his hiding spot as he took in the imposing form of the extractor. It had no face, only a smooth yet rusted mannequin like appearance. It was much taller than his mother, with long limbs that flexed in unnatural directions.

"I don't know how you got this far, but this is where it ends for you!" Pomni lashed out at the extractor. It dodged and counter attacked, reaching for Pomni's heart.

Pomni spun out of the way and brought her sword down on the extractor's arm, right in the elbow joint. She twisted her sword, breaking the joint, and kicked the marionette away from her. She continued her assault with a lunge at the extractor's power source.

The extractor caught it's balance and side stepped Pomni's attack. It grabbed her by the neck and slammed her to the side of a building. It would have gone for her heart, but it's broken arm hung uselessly. The marionette recalculated it's strategy. It threw Pomni into a stack of barrels, making them collapse on her and knocking her off her feet.

Cade gasped. His mother was unbeatable in his eyes, but her being on the ground for more than half a second was enough for him to run out from his hiding spot and get between his mother and the extractor. "Leave her alone!!" He stood bravely but seeing the extractor up close made his whole body feel cold with fear.

The extractor moved its head down to look at the small puppet. Detecting a D.I.E within reach, it's remaining good hand rushed to extract it. It's pointed fingers didn't get close.

Pomni exploded from the barrel pile. Sword and eye blazing with bright yellow energy. She speared the extractor in the gut, pushing it away from Cade. It's feet dug into the earth but the strength of the smaller harlequin forced it back.

"DON'T!" Pomni carved her glowing sword up the extractor's torso.

"TOUCH!" She tore her sword out it's side.

"MY!" She jumped and brought her sword down with both hands.

"SON!" She stabbed the extractor in the top of its chest, driving her sword down through the power source.

The extractor fell to its knees. A mechanical whirring screech emanated from it. Sparks showered the ground as it struggled to move. As it's systems we're failing, it sent out a call for reinforcements.

Pomni ripped out her sword and decapitated the extractor. The head rolled as the body collapsed. She breathed heavily through her teeth, out of both anger and fear. Before she could address Cade, more fast approaching danger made her flare up more with energy.

Two more extractors and an even larger, tank like marionette rushed Pomni's position. Now she knew how they got past the border patrols. Pulverizers were huge, heavily armored, and had arms that touched the ground, making their movement more akin to gorillas than anything human.

Pomni transformed her mechanical arm and sprinted towards the incoming attackers. She shot at one extractor, it leapt onto a wall and climbed to the roof. She shot at the other extractor, it was hit in the leg and it tumbled before getting back to it's feet. She aimed everything she had left at the charging pulverizer. Rusted armor flew off the marionette but it didn't slow down.

Cade covered his head from the percussive shots, it was louder than he ever thought it would be. The noise scared him back into hiding. He stayed out of sight as his mother warcried.

When all five shots were spent, Pomni focused her energy in her sword and waited until the pulverizer raised its arms to attack. When it did, she slid under it and hacked off one of its back feet. The pulverizer stumbled and crashed into a building, momentarily stalling it.

Cade flinched when the pulverizer hit the wall. It's face and shoulder were torn open, it's old frame falling apart from ages of lack of upkeep. He looked back to his mom as she roared at the marionettes.

"PREPARE TO DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS!!" Pomni was confronted and flanked by the two extractors, who attacked simultaneously. The one on the roof tried to come down on her head, but she rolled away and slashed the second. The extractors collided, giving her a chance to charge her sword and cast a flying razor light wave at them both.

The light cut through the marionettes as though they were paper, cleaving them both in two as the pulverizer came charging back. Pomni gritted her teeth and focused energy into her gun. Yellow light gathered at the end of the barrel as she aimed it at the pulverizer's head.

"DIE!!!!!!" A harsh beam of light blasted from her gun, vaporizing the pulverizer's head and most of it's chest. It fell, sliding to Pomni's feet. She continued to yell as she stabbed and slashed at the remnants of all the marionettes until they were nothing but magled scrap.

Cade was horrified. His mother had never spoken like this in front of him, even at her most angry. He didn't recognize her as she angrily tore apart the remains. He stayed where he chose to hide long after she finally calmed down.

Pomni punted the head of one of the extractors into the distance. "AND STAY DEAD!!!" She huffed, her eyes still glowing with mother bear fury. How dare these things choose today of all days to break through to what is supposed to be a safe zone. Cade could've been killed!!

Her mind slowly cleared from the combat hyperfocus. "Cade!?" She looked around for him, hoping he was still safe. She didn't see anymore enemies, but what if he had been hit by debris? She spotted him peeking out at her, but he quickly ducked away.

"Cade?? Are you hurt!?" She rushed over, kneeling next to his hiding spot. What greeted her wasn't relief or gratitude....but fear in her son's eyes. "Cade?" The light in her eye faded, she appeared as herself again, despite the fact that she was covered in marionette oil splatter. "It's okay, they're gone. You're not in danger anymore." She reached for him, but he flinched away from her.

A flash of blue light announced Caine's arrival. "Pomni!? I just heard- oh, you already took care of it." He looked over the carnage, taking how overkilled the marionettes looked.

"DAD!!" Cade bolted from his hiding spot, and hid behind Caine.

Caine kneeled down to his son's level. "Hey champ, you okay? I'm sorry you had to see those things up close, but it's a good thing mom was here. She took care of the bad guys."

Cade fearfully side-eyed Pomni and hid in Caine's arms. "I want to go home." He mumbled.

Caine protectively held Cade close and lifted him up. "We can go home."

Pomni felt hurt that Cade didn't want comfort from her. She tried to get close to Caine but Cade whimpered when she did. She could see him shaking and kept back. "I...I need to search the extractors for D.I.Es and check the outer patrols. Make sure there aren't more of those things lurking around. I'll catch up with you later." Pomni sheathed her sword and held a stoic expression as she passed Caine.

"Alright...?" Caine watched Pomni walk away. She was never this stiff after battle. "Stay safe." He wished her before blinking away with Cade.

~

Pomni couldn't get Cade's fearful expression out of her mind. Did seeing those things really frighten him that much..? No, he tried to face one, despite being defenseless. Then what was he so afraid-......oh.

Pomni stopped what she was doing, feeling like an extractor's claw was around her heart. Her own son saw her fight with all her strength against enemies that didn't warrant it. She's handled far worse with less. She tore them apart to protect her son. That didn't make her a bad person, right?

She reflected on every battle. Every boss. Every rat that ever had the misfortune of crossing her path. She killed...for fun. Her bloodlust was never satisfied. When she couldn't find something to fight, Caine would take up the mantle of spar partner to curb her hunger, but she always craved more.

Pomni looked at herself in the reflection of a rain barrel, really looked at herself. Her soul felt warm in it's chamber, like it was trying to comfort her. "Am I a monster...?"

~

Cade stayed in his room the rest of the day, not telling Caine much about what happened. He hid in his favorite box in the closet. He felt safest there outside of his father's arms. His room door quietly opened and shut. Someone walked across the room and sat outside his open closet. He stayed quiet.

"Cade..." Pomni gently called to him.

Cade didn't respond. While he didn't truly believe his mother would hurt him, but now that he knew what she was capable of, he stayed in his box.

"Cade, I hope...I hope you know that what I did today was for your sake. Those marionettes are very dangerous. They could have killed you and so many others. I had to..." Pomni trailed off, her voice failed her as she wanted nothing more than to hold her son. "I only ever want to keep you safe, but the world we live in is stupidly not safe." She gave a sad chuckle, fighting tears. "I'm sorry today was so much...you weren't ready...maybe you never will be. Maybe that's what I'm afraid of..."

Cade peeked out from his box. "You're...afraid?"

Pomni quickly wiped her eyes. "Yes, I'm terrified. That one day, I won't be there...when it really matters... Please...don't be afraid of me...I would never...I could never..." Tears forced their way out, streaming down her face.

Cade's never seen his mother this vulnerable either. All of this was so new for him. She was always so strong. Unbreakable. Unshakable. Today he thought she was too strong and now...she pleaded with him as though he held her heart in his hand. "Dad said you kill bad guys. They were pretty bad."

"They were. Very bad. I'm sorry I got carried away in front of you, I just...needed to make sure they would never hurt you or anyone else again. It's what I was made for, Cade."

"To protect?"

"To protect this city. And you are part of my directive too, have been since the day you were born. I would fight the world for you, Cade, because I love you."

Cade climbed out of his box and hugged his mother. Pomni pulled him into her lap and nearly broke down with relief. Cade felt safe so close to his mother's heart again. Their soul energy greeted each other so warmly. "...it was kinda cool how you cut those two extractors in half without actually touching them with your sword. How did you do that?"

Pomni took a steadying breath. "It's very advanced soul magic. It'll be awhile before you learn how to use it. A long while. For now, I just need you to do something for me." She adjusted him in her lap so she could look him square in the eyes. She needed to make sure she had his full attention. "When something like this happens, and it will likely happen again, when I say run, you run. Understand?"

Cade nodded. "Yes, momma. I don't want to stick around those things again, not until I know how to swing a sword like you. Then I can help you fight the bad guys."

"I'm hoping one day you get to live in a world without them, but...you are a harlequin. We're specialized puppets, and you have the greatest advantage over all who came before you."

"What's that, momma?"

"You can write your own directive. No human will ever do it for you. You can choose your own path from day one. I know you'll figure life out because you're smart, like your father..."

"And strong like you, momma. I'll be the bestest harlequin ever!"

Pomni smiled. "Yes, you will be, and I'm already so proud of you."

Cade and Pomni sat together in the young puppet's room for hours talking about what the future could hold, and the plan for his future training. He needed to be ready. The world wasn't going to wait for him to grow up before it threw it's worst.

[homestuckreplay]

"why so tentacles" - the therapist

NEW CHARACTER! NEW CHARACTER! When John's computer had a notification on page 61 I was expecting TG back again, but I was happy to see that we got to meet tentacleTherapist! Assuming she's a kid around John's age, she's immediately clearly one of those kids who tries to sound much older, takes herself very seriously, and wants to be seen as intelligent. She also immediately makes it clear to the reader how well she knows John (or just how transparent he is) by calling him out on wearing a silly disguise while in his own house. John, TG and TT all have such different mannerisms, which is really effective for characterization, but makes me wonder how they all became friends, I'd love to get some nods towards their history together.

It didn't register to me that we'd only seen two of John's walls until it was pointed out, and then it immediately felt like a huge thing that had been missing. There are no real surprises - just a whole bunch more posters for movies I haven't seen. The Armageddon poster is especially, comically huge, covering up half the wall behind the desk. From this angle the desk is the clear focal point of the room, it's much bigger than the bed and even the magic chest, bringing into focus the importance of the computer to the story. It's not clarified which is the third wall and which is the fourth, but it feels symbolically more interesting for the wall with John's computer to be the fourth wall.

It's interesting to learn that 'combining' two items in the sylladex doesn't necessarily combine them in the most logical way - as we see with the ashes and urn. This definitely isn't a smart inventory system, it runs on basic programming and it can probably be manipulated and exploited. We also see another instance of 'using' an item from the sylladex on an external, non-captchalogued item. In this case it's the fake arms on the harlequin doll. Here we don't get the cursor or flashing green space like we did when John used the hammer and nails to hang the poster, possibly because we're through the tutorial level now and are supposed to infer these video game effects happening each time we see items used in this way.

Circling back to TT's accusations, John has been wearing this shitty disguise for 20 pages now, almost a third of the comic so far. I love Homestuck's willingness to commit to the bit, and the characterization of John as somebody who thinks sticking fake arms onto a doll is an Epic Prank is extremely charming. Not much is happening right now, but in all the 'not much' is a very effective portrait of John as a character - I feel like we already know him pretty well.

[kobbers]

I continue to love Dwarf Fortress' ability to tell you a story, if you're paying attention.

My current fortress is my first time back in DF in a good 5+ years, and obviously first fort in the shiny new Steam version. I've been a little impulsively reckless because I tried out the tutorial, which autopicks your starting location and supplies. I breached the caverns, had some Fun sending squads after forgotten beasts a little above their level, and after an ettin dropped an adamantine slab on death, that winter's goblin raid spiked to ~100 strong. Most of my soldiers were wiped out stopping the wave of goblins who'd managed to climb over my half-roofed-pasture walls, but the fortress endured.

We've been bunkered in pretty safely ever since, while I try to rebuild my military. The exterior has been secured and meatier defenses have been installed, and the caverns have been walled off while grotesque procedurally-generated monsters roam around down there and tear up all the native serpent-people and troglodytes. I'm not exploiting any mechanics to train my soldiers more quickly (yet), so day-to-day fortress management has settled into a largely hands-off routine.

Except for one very unhappy dwarf, one of my tavern keepers, who began appearing in the logs having mental breakdowns (stumbling around obliviously). These finally escalated to a full tantrum, where he started fistfighting everyone in sight until he'd burned off enough anger to calm down. The disorderly conduct landed him in jail - he served his time, but lost his cool again soon after. This time, he fatally paralyzed a fellow citizen in the brawl.

Back to jail he went. Desperate to try and manage his mood before his mental health reached irreversible lows, I sent dwarves to smooth and engrave his prison cell (dwarves appreciate art!), and build him a bed (to avoid negative thoughts about sleeping on the floor). Unfortunately he threw another tantrum while this work was going on, and killed another dwarf who was just trying to draw pretty pictures on his wall. (Interestingly, this all still counts as "disorderly conduct" and not murder to the justice system, probably because his intent was only to punch people. It just so happened that he punched them in the spine, and injured the nerves that allowed their lungs to function.)

I looked at the unmet needs in his profile. What could I do to help resolve some of the things that were making him unhappy, to help pull him out of the emotional pit he was in? A too-long unfulfilled need to be with family caught my eye. Sometimes you can't do much about this, because the dwarf left their family behind to emigrate to the fortress, but when I checked his relationships I saw his two children were babies. Probably in the fortress, then! Where?

When I zoomed to the location of one of his children, it took my cursor to an empty tile in the caverns, and I had a full-on flashback, suddenly realizing who this man was.

Forgotten beast, four years ago. A giant three-eyed spider invaded the caverns. I sent our primary squad of nearly-legendary fighters to engage, but there was a problem. It was sheltering up in the mushroom trees, spitting from range, and most of our troops used melee weapons. The captain of the guard threw herself into battle regardless, climbing into the mushroom tree and braving the beast's globs of deadly spittle. During the fight, the creature ripped one of the newborn twins she was carrying away from her (dwarven mothers, istg), and threw it out of the tree to the cavern floor. Then it did the same with the other twin. It followed them down and easily stomped them to death, and the captain flew into a rage. Their duel was sadly brief, but unlike so many fights where the loser passes out from pain/exhaustion and gets coup de grâce'd, she stayed on her feet and fought to her last breath. Her squad was able to finish the kill after she perished.

This was why our troublemaker was having such a hard time. I'd built a fancy tomb for my badass captain and the babies who fell in battle back when it happened, and this tavern keeper was the husband left behind. As goblins seiged the fortress and his pining for family only intensified over time, he'd finally reached his limit and could no longer hold it together.

I went back to trying to fix him, with the understanding that it was probably a lost cause. Maybe making sure he could have booze in jail instead of water would help? I waited for his next tantrum, where he helplessly canceled tasks to fight people because he was chained firmly to the prison wall. Then once he calmed, I swooped in and made a stockpile for alcohol that he could reach. Now to wait for someone to bri-- wait, what are those combat logs? There's no new tantrum ongoing, what...?

Turned out he'd earned a beating in addition to his prison sentence this time, and a fortress guard had finally come by to deliver it. The guard was armed, but as this was just a disciplinary beating, she only used her fists. Unfortunately she was still too strong, and it was the tavern keeper's turn to get a badly bruised spinal cord. I deflated a bit as I watched him suffocate, but couldn't help but feel it was a little bittersweet. He was no longer left behind.

[doberbutts]

The other thing I liked about Being Human (US) is that the core cast are all incredibly flawed and damaged people who still love each other at their core and genuinely want things to work even though they make spectacularly stupid choices at times along the way.

Aiden is incredibly easy to trigger due to his laundry list of past and present issues and when he's triggered he doesn't shut down or go quiet. He gets ANGRY. He gets *violent*. There was a joke between my friend and I when we watched over the summer and holidays that he was a big fan of using neck snaps to solve his problems but was startlingly bad at dealing with the fallout except by continuing to kill people to cover up his problems. When he fights with Josh he gets personal, he's so combative and confrontational, and he wears that prickly exterior whenever someone sees through the stone mask and pokes at a fleshy bit a little too hard.

But we also see Aiden break down and cry. We see him sobbing uncontrollably as he loses control again and again and again. Every time he manages to scrape together a bit of happiness before either he or someone else fucks it all up and it blows up in his face. He wants to stop. He doesn't want to hurt people anymore. And he can't figure out how to do it because it's like hurting people and driving them away or killing them is the only thing he really knows how to do.

So many times while watching I would yell "talk to your fucking friends asshole" and he would continue to either shut them out or get close but lose his nerve halfway through and remain silent. He wanted that connection very badly and simply couldn't make it happen. The few times he did open up to Josh or Sally he was well received, which I think was really a bright point in the writing because it showed the audience that the problem was that Aiden couldn't figure out how to be vulnerable due to [redacted plot things] rather than because his friends were jerks.

And overall I think that balanced well with Sally, who's various exploits *also* usually blew up in her face, and Josh, who oscillates wildly between "sad and more than a little afraid of himself" and "picks weird hills to die on because it's literally the only way he manages to feel any amount of control in his life". Josh and Sally both frequently vent about things to Aiden, but he almost never reciprocated until pretty close to the end of the series. He hides things from them, he dodges questions, he finds convenient excuses to not talk about stuff, even when they prod and pry to get something out of him.

He only explains after things hit the fan and everything goes to shit. Usually, because his friends have been there to catch him when he falls, and he has to tell them *something* about why there's so much blood on his hands (sometimes literally) yet again. And they get mad at him, but ultimately they forgive him, because fuck, a werewolf and a ghost aren't really in any place to judge now are they. Even then, it's not usually the whole truth.

(And it's interesting, in the what-if scenario where they weren't there to catch him as he fell, just how bad things got)

But then he's afraid he's going to lose Josh, and he's afraid he's going to lose Sally, and he's afraid he's going to die, and he goes to Josh, and he says "I'm scared, and I don't know what to do".

And Josh stops, and realizes that Aiden has never asked him for help, not really, and has never actually been vulnerable with him, and has always worn the brave and stoic face even as things are melting down at catastrophic levels. And he says, I'm here.

Aiden is such a bad victim and he makes some real stinkers of bad choices along the way but they make sense for his character once you learn about all the shit that's happened since he became a vampire and how fucked up things got for him before he realized he needed out. And he backslides and he backslides and he backslides but he keeps trying because what's the point if he doesn't at least try.

Anyway the hill I will die on is that this show would have done numbers on tumblr if it came out slightly later. Ah well.

[doomalade]

Hi, I’m back from watching the first episode of Hazbin Hotel, here are my thoughts on it.

But first, here is the swear counter:

Fuck - 22

Shit - 12

Bitch - 5

Damn -

Ass - 2

Cock/Dick - 5

Porn/Sex - 6

Tits/Boobs - 2

Pussy/Vagina/ Cunt - 2

Spoilers under the break.

The Good/ Things I Enjoyed:

Vaggie, Alastor, Charlie, Husk, and Nifty all have pretty good voice acting.

The two that stand out to me as my favorites are Husk and Nifty. Husk sounds well husky. It sounds like he smokes or used to smoke and there’s this gritty gruff to it. It really fits his character well. Like if you had to ask me what the voice of a bar tender gambling winged cat demon was? That is it.

Nifty’s voice acting also hits that sweet spot with her character where it sounds small like a balloon or squeaky toy but also small like a needle or a switch blade if that makes sense.

Overall I love Nifty so much. The gag of her freezing up when Vaggie tries to film her was great. Having it happen twice hit that joke sweet spot of letting it set in and be executed without over staying. It also fits her character well since she’s a little bit weird (such a blorbo) and I would like to headcanon that since she was summoned by Alastor, she kinda shares his distaste for video.

Also I am deeply hoping to hear more Spanish be spoken by Vaggie. Both the upset Spanish ranting and her sweetly singing to Charlie in Spanish. Imagine Charlie singing back also in Spanish. Would be neat I think.

The other two things was the Helluva reference on the side of a van and a Travis cameo. That was neat, adding some consistency to the world.

The Bad / Things I Didn’t Like:

Idk if it was just me but at least at the start, the animation looked choppy when Vaggie and Charlie were speaking at first. But for the rest of the episode it was pretty alright. Certainly doesn’t feel like a professional production level but that is what you get when you pay people slave wages Viv. I do hope that the animators can take some pride in their work, especially the more fluent movements during the songs.

Speaking of songs, Happy Day In Hell is alright. Nothing stand out but it’s good.

Adam’s song meanwhile. Ugh. Not fully committing to the rock/punk, still being another generic pop song, and overall adds onto my issues with Adam as a character and the whole “THE ANGELS ASCTHUCALLY BAD YOU GUYS” thing is, ugh.

It boils down to:

1) If Heaven is also as bad as Hell, why even bother with redemption?

2) Is it just the Exterminators who are corrupt? Also several demons were killed while Charlie sang so like what makes the Exterminations so bad if a second death is constantly happening casually?

3) Why do any of the Exterminators follow Adam? Also Adam has been written as a hand holder for the audience so you know who to hate (he got Stella’d).

4) I see how Viv is trying to tackle the issues of the patriarchy and misogyny in this but like, does she think that redeems her from how she’s handled Helluva Boss? (Once more, Stella.)

On the topic of male characters, who is Alastor anymore? He used to be smug and commanding and set up as a manipulative deal maker that doesn’t really care for the well being of others and now he just kinda walks around mocking Vaggie and Charlie? Idk just feels like Alastor is being added on top of the list of characters (which is like everyone but Vaggie) that don’t believe in Charlie to manage redemption.

Do wish for more spooky moments with him though.

Now onto Angel.

Why does his voice sound like a deflated worm out balloon? It caught me so off guard and it’s just nails on a chalkboard for me.

And the sex jokes, two of which stuck out to me as “can you not?”

“This body was made to be exploited” by Angel. I don’t think I have to explain why having your SA character say that line out loud and frame it as a humorous comment is a good look. Classic Viv moment.

“I like being forced” by Nifty. Yes, what a great line to have given to the small, child appearing character. It felt so forced and pushed outside of Nifty’s usual weirdness too.

Also dare I forget how Amazon had this marked as 15+ (I believe) before changing it to 18+. Which good catch there guys cause during Charlie’s song, we get a quick scene of two demons fucking.

Not saying that scene was quite as offensive as it was just boring middle schooler level humor like Alastor’s ad having a toilet joke in it and Blitzø like drawings/notes at the end.

What did manage to give me the ick was how Nifty and Angel kept hitting on Husk. Nifty not as much, but Angel was just down right creepy. Husk himself states that he is at the hotel against his will (whole new can of worms there) and now Angel is hitting on him and making constant unwanted advances?

But with that we’re meant to clap and ship away but then we jump cut to Adam calling Charlie “babe” over and over and we’re meant to boo? Which direction are we going with this Viv?

One last thing, I knew that Brandon as Katie would sound horrible but I got jumpscared by Tom’s ye ye ass quality voice.

I would give it a 3/10 maybe a 4/10

Just not worth it man

[mesetacadre]

do you think religion and communism are compatible?

I'd say it depends on the maturity of the social relations and the starting point of socialism. Religion was identified by Marx as the opium of the masses not because he was a radical anti-theist bent on the immediate destruction of any semblance of religiosity, rather because religion, as it accompanies the evolution of the economy, serves to alleviate the alienation caused the the exploitative nature of work ever since labor was organized. It acts like an anesthetic, or rather, an opiate.

Therefore if religion began to take form in this way, and considering its pervasiveness across most aspects of almost all societies, its removal will have to be slow, much like the family. Take Spain, where a little over half of the population considers themselves to be catholic, along with the comfortable place the church has within society and most people's minds. If the communist revolution were to happen tomorrow, and assuming its continuance, it would take a multi-generational effort for the dismantling of all causes of alienation along with the appropiate education to make religion wither out, or perhaps mutate into something completely new. For me this is at the same level of speculation as the conclusion of family abolition.

Keeping all of this in mind, and getting at your question, communism is, nowadays, compatible with religion insofar as the objective conditions demand it to be. If religion is important to the working class in your region of intervention, it would be an immediatist error to viciously attack that religion and demand people stop believing in it. It is one thing to remove the financial and political privileges some religious institutions might have, which should be done albeit avoiding excessive antagonization, and another to go after people's faith.

To give a couple of examples, the USSR's policy on religion was to remove the power that the religious institutions and leaders had achieved by allowing workers to stop being reliant on them, emphasizing science and technology. The first chapter of Anna Louise Strong's The Soviets Expected gives a good example of what this looked like at the beginning of industrialization. In Cuba, on the other hand, christianity was, to an extent, included in the narrative created around their national liberation struggle and revolution, it had a part in the creation of that revolutionary patriotism that's characteristic of communist national liberation. The difference in the preconditions for Cuba and the USSR is that the USSR was a mosaic of tens of religions, if not hundreds, with contrasting levels of reactionary tendencies and influence, whereas in Cuba the population was pretty monolithically christian. There is no single recipe for the policies to take regarding religion in socialism.

When it comes to currents like christian socialism or liberation theology, I personally think that mixing theology with marxism should be avoided at all costs. Philosophically speaking there are very little similarities when you go beyond the surface, the scientific approach to analizing history and society that marxism takes has nothing to do with the irrational or spiritual explanations theology gives. I don't really care if people choose to go that way, I just think it's a waste of time because if you ever wish to go deeper so to speak, there will be a time, sooner rather than later, when you'll have to choose one over the other. I consider the approach I explained earlier to be a sufficiently close relationship to religion and that, strategically speaking, it is also unnecessary to intertwine the two.

In East Asia, especially China, the label of religion and its difference with spirituality and philosophy is less clear than in the west as far as I'm aware, but I don't know anything beyond that so maybe someone can expand on it, though I assume the approach is similar.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Hi! Something I’ve been wandering is if there is no point where a brain is truly fully developed, then how do we gage what age should be the age of consent? /genuine I was wandering if you have thoughts on that because it’s something I feel pretty befuddled about

First, I'm sorry this answer is a little late, because I had to think about it a little bit. I think this question, which is a good one, has almost two answers -- one for an ideal youth-topia, and one for our current, ageist, kyriarchical, very-much-not-youth-topia world.

Also, heads up, I'm going to be talking about child abuse in a few paragraphs.

In an ideal world, I think children should begin having some say over their lives and bodies as soon as they're able to express their own opinions, but in conjunction with at least one trusted adult to provide guidance. As the child gets older, the balance should gradually shift over time, with the child's opinion gradually carrying more "weight" over time. Then at some fixed end point, which should be no later than the late teens, the new young adult should have 100% autonomy with no oversight (they can still ask for advice -- which I specify because half the time this comes up, someone asks "What if a young adult wants their parents' advice!" and I have to say "Then they can call and ask, it's not illegal").

An adult will have to make pretty much all the decisions for a baby, because babies don't really know what's what. A toddler's decision-making ability mostly maxes out at picking which toy they want to play with and then crying because actually they wanted the other one. But a school-age child can start having some say in the decision-making process and can practice asking questions at the doctor's office, being included in the conversation, having things explained at their level, understanding things like "I know the shot hurts, but it will help keep you from getting sick later," or "I know you don't like taking pills, but they help your headache go away" or "If the pills don't help your headache go away, say so, and we'll ask the doctor for something that works better." And a teenager can really start taking the lead in their own decisions, with guidance, especially if things like making thoughtful decisions, asking questions, weighing pros and cons, and doing research with reliable sources has already been practiced and modeled over the years. And by the time they're in their late teens, they should have sole final say in what happens to their bodies.

But. All of that is very much the "in an ideal world, youth-topia" answer.

We do not live in an ideal youth-topia. We live in a world where many (I'm being generous and not saying "most") adults in positions of influence over children and young people intend to manipulate or exploit them ("for their own good" or otherwise), and it can be really... extremely... difficult to keep kids from being abused or exploited by parents, families, doctors, capitalists, administrators, politicians, and others.

Most of the arguments I get into are about people wanting to raise the age of majority or some other minimum standard for ""real adulthood"" to some age higher than 18, usually invoking some spurious argument about "the brain."

And I will die on the hill that this is wrong and that 18 year olds should be considered full real adults with full bodily autonomy to do whatever they want no matter how unwise anyone thinks it is -- drink, smoke, take medicine, refuse medicine, have sex, have children, get married, have abortions, get their tubes tied, whatever.

Okay, but then you might say, what about 17 year olds? What about 16 or 15? Is an 18 year old really "more mature" than a 17 year old?

Well, no, of course not. The problem is that the legal status of minors is so absolutely abysmal that, within that legal status, it's hard to asses what "consent," let alone "informed consent," even means. It's not that I think a 17 year old isn't "mature enough" to choose to have surgery, say, but an 18 year old is "mature enough." It's that when you have zero (0) legal rights, having the right to make one (1) choice is really constrained.

Throughout the U.S. -- and I'm only going to be talking about the U.S. here because I can't confidently speak to any other country's laws -- it is legal, to varying degrees (and with even more varying degrees of enforcement), for parents to beat their minor children. It is legal, to varying degrees, for parents to restrict their minor children's movement. To restrict their food. To keep them in conditions barely above prison. To send them to "troubled teen" farms that are literally prison. Even if the mistreatment crosses into some threshold of legally actionable "child abuse," there is no guarantee that the law will be at all enforced. There is no guarantee that the abuse will be stopped. At most, the government will remove the child and place them in a foster home which is likely to be just as abusive if not moreso.

I'm not saying that minors shouldn't have the legal right to make more medical and general life choices than they currently do -- they absolutely should -- I'm saying that in the absence of certain basic physical safety guarantees, a technical on-paper "choice" doesn't mean much.

Like, I just said that I would fight for 18 year olds' right to be sterilized or get married, and also, I'm vehemently opposed to sterilization of minors and firmly support raising the minimum marriage age to 18. That's not because I think decision-making maturity and wisdom magically kick in at the 18th birthday. That's because an 18 year old can leave and file assault charges when their parent says "Sign this consent form or I'll beat you and send you to a prison farm."

So... with that in mind... I do think there are ways to protect minors' right to consent. I think people over 12 or 13 should have to give their own consent for any medical procedure that isn't an immediately life-threatening emergency. And ethical doctors shouldn't perform procedures on people they have reason to believe are being coerced.

As for minors seeking out medical procedures, I think we can look at some contextual questions like: Is the need for this procedure urgent or time-sensitive? I.e. is there any reason it can't wait until the person is older? Can someone interview the young person to try to assess whether they're being coerced? Can the young person articulate the risks or give some indication that their choice is informed? Can they talk about how the medicine/treatment/procedure makes them feel? Do any adults benefit financially from the young person's decision? Are they having an undue influence over the young person? (That isn't just about medical treatment, it's also questions like "Why are child beauty pageants a thing?" and "Why do 7 year olds play American tackle football?") Have they been exposed to other points of view?

Obviously these are all really contextual questions that depend on people in power behaving ethically, which... is a lot to depend on.

So. That's my long answer. I guess.

Final note, mostly I'm talking about medical treatment in general and life decisions in general, but I wanted to quickly mention transition and gender-affirming care in particular. I do support youth gender-affirming care. I didn't always. When I first heard about youth transition, I thought it was a risky thing that young people were going to be coerced into. I thought there would be parents coercing their gender non-conforming children into transitioning to the "other" binary gender and doing surgeries on them before they could object. I was wrong. I know that now, after learning more about how youth transition actually works. Doctors involved in gender-affirming care for youth really seem to be doing it right. They interview the young person. They make sure it's really what the person wants. They go slowly at first. The young person has ample time and opportunity to change their mind. I think other forms of health care for youth (looking at you, psychiatry) (looking at you, weight loss) (looking at you, reproductive health) should model themselves on the kinds of youth-affirming, consent-affirming practices that are standard in youth gender-affirming care.

[argentumcor]

The Price of a Bullet

You can find the whole fic posted here, covering Jason's experiences during Arkham Knight.

Notes and thoughts if they interest you:

-I do think Jason was written consistently between AK Genesis, AK, and the Red Hood DLC. There's a complaint that he wasn't, and an accompanying complaint that the Knight is whiny, but that's assuming a level of emotional stability that he doesn't have. Reading AK Genesis, it's clear that Jason's narration regarding Bruce is cope, a product of his time in captivity and the Joker's mental conditioning. Bruce does care- he's just bad at showing it. That's clear in his interactions with the rest of the family, even Dick who would have known him before the haunting loss of Jason. On top of this, Jason spent most of his life from the day he was born being told he was worthless verbally and via physical abuse. Trust comes hard to him. The Joker in the Arkham games is very good at spotting things he can exploit about people, and when Jason was talking to buy time for Batman to come save him, he probably heard Jason's low sense of self-worth (self-esteem doesn't cover it), the perfect thing to use to break Jason to harness.

-Jason's snark is present as the Knight here and there on comms. He's not stable, though, unlike his depictions in other media. The "whiny" tone people complain about is more mania coming through as he gets close to his goal and his programming comes undone. This, I think, was an interesting way to split the baby- in the comics Jason being unstable is a concern of Bruce's to rather...extreme...extent (and unfounded, he isn't unstable except for inconsistent characterization like the rest of the DC cast). What is happening in AK is someone grindingly finding himself dragged back to reality after living in madness for a long time (no way in hell did he "escape" as late as Asylum; let's say it's been five years minimum and it happened during some other breakout).

-A quiet theme in the Arkham games, and in a lot of the better Batman media, is "truth beats lies." Batman beats out fear toxin, beats out Hatter's hypnosis, overcomes the Joker's mental infection because they're all founded on things that are not true. As such, Jason- as his student and his son- is able to overcome the lies the Joker and Harley put into his head in the end.

-It's beyond clear in game he has no respect for Scarecrow qua Scarecrow or any of the other villains he's pulled into this plan. People are mad about that, but he's hyperfocused and obsessive. It's a video game (sillier, yes, I said it) version of his plan, if for different motives, from Under the Red Hood.

-Dini might not have written AK but I'm pretty sure his notes were used or something. It has a lot of the elements I associate with his Batman writing- Bruce as deeply fallible, for one, the Joker as an unsympathetic and very real threat and charismatic. I think Dini found Jason's story a well of potential, based on how BTAS Tim is actually mostly Jason, how Return of the Joker's Tim plot is AK Jason's plot, and how Terry has a lot of Jason's attitude. Dini, for all his oddities as a writer in some respects, has a real gift for spotting things to punch up a character and situation.

-It's funny to me how Tim is the 'generic Robin' of the group so his characterization just gets kind of tossed around wherever the winds are blowing. I like Arkham Tim as the grounded reliable one, but he's Basically Jason in BTAS and in the comics his characterization seems particularly up in the air.

-The Arkham games are very silly, objectively- the whole thing with Titan, the entire idea of Arkham City, the Joker disease and how Bruce beats it, and so much more- but not to themselves. It's a story about a guy wearing a bat-inspired costume and being a vigilante. It is silly. The platonic ideal of a Batman story is silly with a violent dark aspect, cynical about human nature but hopeful about the power of love (brotherly, familial, romantic, agape, etc.), and it takes itself seriously within itself. From these can flow many things, profound, funny, and entertaining alike, and they coexist smoothly. I think the important thing with fiction is to meet it where it's at, especially as a writer, and this is especially true of these IP (modern myth, that's what they are) stories.

-Going through the game for Jason's timeline has been revealing about things I think were trimmed/changed. I'm pretty sure there's a missing Knight boss fight when Batman takes down the air defenses, because Jason just bolts for no reason (I rolled with this in the fic), to let Batman do as he pleases. I also think the vehicle boss fight vs. Jason in the grinder was supposed to be more complex instead of doing the same thing the whole time, but that's generally true of the vehicle combat: mechanically, it needed another pass across the board to make it a less repetitive experience.

-The Red Hood DLC should have been Jason fighting his way to the Asylum where he saves Bruce's life at the climax, potentially with contact with Oracle or even Nightwing which would have been interesting as hell. I really wish all the DLCs would have given us something at the scale of A Death in the Family; I really like these versions of the characters.

-I recommend this sort of fic, where you follow a plot through an alternate POV character, as a writing exercise. It has the merit of having known constraints you don't have to come up with but some creative give to figure out how the POV character got from point A to point B or figured out something or why he did something.

[eccentric-nucleus]

actually if i'm gonna make a games rec post.

here are some games i have enjoyed recent-ish.

kenshi. an open-world squad-based rpg with base-building elements. get stronger by getting beaten up. lose a fight and get knocked out, have your weapons and food taken by the bandits that mugged you and left you bleeding to death. get rescued by some slavers that capture you and sell you into slavery. free yourself from slavery and limp away until you roll in hours later with a whole squad of overpowered fighters. then head a little bit too far south and get murdered by skin bandits. they take your skin. this is a completely self-directed game; there's no "main plot", although arguably "figure out the history of the world" is kind of the main 'story' mystery. there's also a bunch of unique recruitable characters with custom-written interactions. i usually recruit exclusively from freeing slaves but you can do w/e.

wildmender. a survival gardening game. this one came out recently and the devs are still releasing bugfixes; it's unclear if they'll make large content patches in the future. apparently multiplayer can still be pretty glitchy, and there's a water flow bug that i've been finding very frustrating. the way biomes work is kind of unsatisfying. kind of slim content-wise, but still, i really enjoyed what's there. out of all of the climate change terraforming anxiety games i've seen, this has been the one i've most enjoyed.

hellpoint. a scifi soulslike made by a team of like 12 people. previously i had thought things like "it would be neat if dark souls was less linear". hellpoint is a great example of why that might be a nightmare. the areas are connected in such a complex way, with one-way routes and branching unlock keys and secret paths and hidden doors behind hidden doors that it gets profoundly disorienting. a hint: almost every single hidden door in the game (there are a lot) is the middle panel of the same exact three-paneled-wall geometry. once you notice what it is you will see it everywhere. also, the enemy designs are hot.

crystal project. remember playing fan translations of final fantasy v? remember wandering around in old mmos? crystal project is kind of a... turn-based rpg mmo-influenced platformer. with a job system. you can sequence break the game from the tutorial level and also at basically every other point in the game too, although until you know what to look for it might seem like there's a linear critical path. but there's a lot out there. hint: play on easy mode. the combat gets tough later on and the game absolutely expects you to be finding and exploiting some class combinations.

astlibra: revision. a sidescrolling rpg. it must have been released episodically originally or some of the chapter pacing makes no sense. also it was originally released with a mess of art sourced from all sorts of places; 'revision' is a re-release with a more unified art style. it gets extremely anime all the time. there's a whole obligatory section where you have to ask all the women in a town about what kind of panties they're wearing. it's rough. i enjoyed how chaotic the systems are and how much Stuff there is to pick up and upgrade and unlock. the plot goes some unexpected places though it doesn't quite stick the landing, i still enjoyed what it did. also karon should be the love interest instead.

silicon zeroes. a cpu-building puzzle game. this straddles the line between the tech/code games that are literally just "learn a new language and code in it" and ones that are more structure-themed like, idk, spacechem. connect modules to assemble solutions to problems. it takes too long to get to chapter 3, which is where they start asking you to make entire cpus.

ashen. another souls-like. i just really like the environments in this one. the initial area looks gorgeous and the way it changes through the game is really neat to see happen. the seat of the matriarch is wonderfully awful to traverse and i wish there had been two or three more dungeons like it in the game. you can't level up; you gain stats mostly by progressing sidequests and the name quest. i eventually ran out of things to spend money on AND inventory space to store items. the late-game tuning is a little rough but until then it's great. a hint: there are three weapon types and within that type nearly all the weapons are identical. you get thrown so many weapons that don't matter; don't worry about collecting all of them. see above re: running out of space and things to use money for.

i guess it would be cheating to recommend minecraft regrowth or morrowind but i have also been playing those.

[yuikomorii]

Who do you think are the most mentally strong diaboys?

// I'd like to make a top three, even if I believe number one is already obvious:

3. Kino

Being forgotten by your true "father" and abandoned in Rottenberg is a very sad scenario. Kino was also bullied because of his race, since the ghouls did not treat someone like him well. However, after releasing his powers, they began to respect him, so Kino became their leader, and unlike other characters, he also got Yuri, his friend, by his side. Kino is a mentally strong person, but he still struggles with it, especially given his resentment of the Sakamaki brothers for obtaining Karl's "love," even though they did nothing to him. He also gaslights others for "having it better," and dwells on his past to the point of obsession. It feels as if he doesn’t live for himself anymore, but merely for recognition.

2. Kou

Losing your wealth, ending up in a manhole, then in an orphanage where you were assaulted and exploited because you were a pretty child... As horrifying as it may sound, Kou has a very realistic past because the events that happened to him actually occurred in Romania during that time period. Honestly, despite his background, I'm surprised he's generally such a cheerful person. He would have been first on the list, but Kou never moved on from his experiences. He, like Kino, held a grudge against the Sakamakis for having "a better life" than him, despite the fact that he was unaware of their past. Anyway, he was in MB at the time, and based on DF and LE, he's doing much better now and is a sunshine boy, so he deserves this spot.

1. Ayato

I guess it's always been obvious that Ayato is mentally the healthiest Diaboy. His past is almost on the level of Haruka from Moshikami, which says a lot because it's so messed up that I wouldn't have been surprised if he lost all hope, but he didn't, which is really admirable.

Ayato never complained about what he went through, never gaslighted others for having it better, never engaged in a harmful coping mechanism and never projected on others. Yes, he has insecurities; he is afraid of not being loved or not being the best, but he is not dependent on these. He could still live peacefully without achieving them. Furthermore, he doesn't need a person to "fix" or help him deal with his struggles; he simply wants someone to appreciate and believe in him.

He's a carefree person who surprisingly prefers to look on the bright side and holds no resentment toward those who have wronged him as long as he knows their reasons and that everything turned out well. His ability to forgive people so easily is both a strength and a weakness because some people do such horrible things to you that they no longer deserve your forgiveness.

I like Kino but he literally burned you alive, beat you up, stole Yui, and wanted to sell you to the church to be slaughtered, but in the end, you gave him a second chance and were the first to integrate him and recognize him as a Sakamaki?? And normally, I wouldn't mind this since I give a bunch of second chances too but the thing is, nobody is willing to forgive AYATO if things go wrong, and that's painful because it's so unfair. ://

I might have realized why Karlheinz thinks Ayato is more special than anyone else, and this quote from his DF Ecstasy epilogue perfectly explains it:

Karlheinz (describing Ayato): Valuing your life, grieving, lamenting your misfortune, suffering…

And resisting!

That’s what Adam is all about!!

Basically, what makes Ayato the official Adam is the fact that unlike other demons, who are ignorant to death, he still has a desire to live and fights for it. No matter how much pain he has endured, nothing can break him.

One of the reasons his LE route was so reviled in the Japanese and English fandoms is that nothing hurts more than seeing an energetic and strong-willed character who appeared that way in seven games suddenly lose all hope and drown in misery.

I have written a too much about Ayato, but he deserves it. He’s not the smartest or most calculated guy, but he is unquestionably the most mentally strong one, and I doubt any other Diaboy would have ended up as approachable as Ayato if he had been in his position.

[ckret2]

Now I'm curious about Bill's family. Can you share what they were like?

Now, I haven't fully fleshed out his family, so the details are subject to change. I haven't even decided on what shape his dad was.

(A purely Flatland backstory would be like, oh, probably a nearly-equilateral isosceles triangle unless something weird happened; but Flatland was written as a satire of Victorian society and the Victorian class system, and I'm not interested in satirizing Victorian society. So I've yet to decide what sort of shape descent rules make the most sense for the kind of story I'm telling here. Maybe I'll like, make his dad a rhombus, Say Nothing, and watch the people who read Flatland riot in the comments.)

But for right now, unless my thoughts change as I go, his parents are kinda like,

Bill: *meets Stan & Ford's mom* "Oh that's hauntingly familiar."

Bill: *meets Gideon's dad* "Oh THAT'S hauntingly familiar."

Meet itty bitty baby Billy. 

(this is the post i made this picture for. Isn't he cute.)

Bill was born with what could loosely be called "psychic powers" and more specifically be called "the ability to see into the third dimension." Saying "Bill can see into the third dimension" is kind of like saying "this human can see into the fourth dimension" when you mean "this human can constantly see what's gonna happen thirty seconds into the future like a blurry image superimposed over the present." Constantly seeing thirty seconds into the future would be useful for avoiding car crashes or cheating at roulettes, but there's nothing particularly mystical about it. That's equivalent to the level Bill's ability was on. Especially since, in Bill's dimension, the power to see into the third dimension was an extremely rare but known and scientifically-documented ability, not mysterious magic.

However, when Bill started saying stuff like "The neighbor is coming over to visit, I can see her through the door" or "Yeah I can guess what's on your card, it's two red dots, I can just see the back of it from here, can't you see it too?" or "there's a bunch of white dots outside the world and a really big white circle that moves back and forth and I think the circle controls light"—

His parents went, "You Could Make A Religion Out Of That."

And that's how Bill got a cult.

I haven't done much to flesh out Bill's parents in terms of their looks personalities interests etc (though his mother is more developed), but I've got a pretty firm idea of the impact they had on him. In a way he didn't have "parents"—they did a pretty poor job of parenting—rather, he had business managers posing as his prophets. For putting together his childhood, I'm drawing on histories of cults, but also on other industries that are dependent upon exploiting children by putting them in the limelight—like beauty pageant children or kidfluencers put online by their parents. Things like this article with a kid who said she wants to stop making youtube videos and her father told her that was their livelihood.

So here's Bill growing up being told "you're special, you're SO special" by his parents; but also he's just the performing figurehead of his parents' new religion; but also he's so powerful and so influential; but also he's just a kid completely under his family's control; but also his family's prosperity and welfare is completely on his shoulders; but also nothing he says really matters and they could replace him with anybody who could say the same things; but also he's totally unique (and thus alienated); but also there are other people out there just like him (and they're dangerous to his position); but also he has the perfect platform to tell the world about the truth as he sees it; but also people only listen to him when he lies; but also everyone worships everything he says as gospel; but also the whole world knows he's a scammer and a joke.

And now he's a messed up adult who still acts like a kid (you can't grow up if you never get a childhood); and he makes new friends and helpers by bombarding them with textbook cult recruitment tactics; and he's more comfortable with waltzing into town square and appointing himself God than he is with talking honestly about his childhood.

Also between then and now he ended the world.

I see Bill as an only child, for a couple of reasons:

First, because of this in Journal 3: "Apparently, his thirst for power caused him to destroy his home dimension — including his parents and everyone else he’d ever known." If he did have siblings—or if we were even intended to feel like the possibility was open that he might have a sibling—it would be weird to emphasize "his parents" instead of something like "his family." The implications feel like we're supposed to believe his parents were the only immediate family he had. (And, since Journal 3 was kinda the last gift from a completed series, I'm doubting the wording was a red herring to obscure the fact that he's got a secret identical twin or something. ... Wouldn't that be so funny though—)

And second, because he seems like the kind of person who wasn't shoved in close quarters with another child and forced to learn how to get along. He was always the specialest boy and never had to share the spotlight.

The only reason I think I'd give him a sibling is if I found it was somehow essential to help develop/highlight some facet of Bill's character—like, if I wanted to do something with the "golden child vs forgotten child" dynamic to mirror what the Pines have going on, or have him underestimate the relationships between human siblings because he's projecting based on how he grew up. ("You probably think your brother is some burden you're shackled to by blood, like a non-consensual forced 'friendship' you wish you could break off!" "Um, no? I don't think that? I love him?" "Because you were coerced into loving him." "No???") But right now my goals for him are complimented more by the social isolation from being the only child in the household and limited opportunities to make friends on the outside.

[transdimensional-void]

what do you think could make ferdinand cry?

this is an interesting thought experiment! for one thing, we know of exactly one instance in the story so far in which ferdinand cried: when he looked at myne's memories. he told myne that it happened because he synced too closely with her, and her emotions about seeing her mother again infected him.

we do also know that he got a little choked up at the duchy border gate when he said good-bye to sylvester.

we know as well that nobles are supposed to use their hidden rooms to express the emotions they must hide in their public lives. so it's very possible that he's cried several times throughout the story that we simply don't know about. for example, we have seen elvira cry exactly one time in the entire story, and it was when she was in the hidden room with myne.

however, ferdinand does seem to be pretty emotionally constipated, so i wouldn't be surprised if he refused to let himself cry even within the safety of his hidden room. he'd probably tell himself that his time would be better spent creating a solution to whatever situation was making him want to cry. that doesn't mean that there haven't been plenty of times throughout the course of the story when he felt terrible enough to want to cry, though... especially since the end of part 4.

my guess is that what could make ferdinand cry would be being given the opportunity to do so. he would have to feel safe enough to express that level of vulnerability. he would need a stable home environment where he felt secure rather than constantly in danger. he would need a steady source of love and affirmation to reassure him that even his weakness will be accepted rather than ridiculed or exploited. to cry, ferdinand would need to heal a little more than he has up to this point.

he was almost there in that scene saying good-bye to sylvester, and i think that's a sign of how much healing he has already done up to that point in the story. he let himself feel, in the moment, just how important his relationship with his brother was to him and how little he wanted it to change. how great his loss was. i think if the parting had happened back before he met myne, he would have repressed his feelings much more in that moment. veronica conditioned him to avoid the things he loved, and it took several years free of veronica for him to relax enough even to admit his feelings to himself, much less express them externally.

thank you for the ask, anon! i enjoyed it <3

[real-odark]

if you were to ask me how i feel about a commercial jingle for regina comet, i might say its pretty good or something.

but if you asked me on a deeper level,

i'd tell you how much i absolutely love this musical. id tell you how im its biggest fan possibly ever, and i curse myself every day for not being able to see it. id tell you about my signed playbill of it being one of my most prized possessions and i used to sleep with it by my side. id tell you how the bootleg is one of my favorite things ever, and how many times ive listened to it, making timestamps for each song and even uploading a full version of it for myself to youtube. id tell you how its my third favorite musical of all time. id tell you how i didnt even know ben fankhauser until i found out about this musical and i dont think i could love any of his roles more than man 2. id tell you how i wrote my own self sustaining fanfiction for it. id tell you how i made up names for them. id tell you about my dozens of fanart for it, and how other man used to be muscle memory to draw, so whenever id go to draw something hed be the first thing to warmup. id tell you how i know just about every lyric of every song. id tell you how when i do home-alone theater karaoke, this musical is the first one i go to everytime. id tell you how literally any role in this would be my dream. id tell you how underrated its representation is, showing the exploitation of women in the media, and has such a good message. id tell you about how during silent reading time in class, id reread the script for this show over and over while everyone else pulled out icebreaker and stuff. id tell you how i have consumed every advertisement for this show ever. id tell you how i would go through every review article, and if they said anything even remotely bad about it, id find a way to counter it. id tell you how i used to go through every 2 pixel picture and video of the set (which is amazing by the way. im obsessed with it) and made a list of every single paper i could make out, how they asked the crew to write down musicals on sticky notes for it, and how i analyzed each of their sides of the apartment. id tell you how id do anything to see the original cast of this in person. id tell you about other mans bpd coding. id tell you about how i started to copy the mannerisms of these characters and actors and put myself in physical distress sometimes because it made me feel like them a little bit gulp thats not like the kind of physical distress youre probably thinking of btw i meant id like run laps of long distances because hearing myself breathe made me think of other man. id tell you how i dont think anyone could ever be more these characters than these actors. id tell you how i would just listen to the bass/piano/drums (all isolated) of the songs and learn the piano by ear. id tell you about the freaking haarrrmoonieeess in it. id tell you how cute and . cool the lighting is. id tell you how i much of the choreography i had(/have) memorized. id tell you how many times ive quoted this show (women in science. and, for a little bit of backstage stuff, nothing i will be woorrking.) id tell you how ive gone through all of their social media posts and every post theyre tagged in as well. id tell you about how i dedicated an account to it until i got locked out lmao?? id tell you how i may or may not have genuinely cried over this musical so many times. id tell you how i made floor plans for the flourishing pig (the hottest vegan nightspot in the meatpacking district) ((i got rid of them tho my bad lmaooo)). id tell you how even perfume just reminds me of this show now. id tell you how i have forced everyone i know at gunpoint to hear this musical at least once. id tell you about the complexity of man 2 and other mans relationship and nothing wouldve happened if they had just kissed sighh (/j). i would tell you about this show. id tell you about this. id tell you about. id tell you. id tell. id. i. .

...but ill probably just say "yeah its kinda cool"