#they are. so ridiculous but i guess i only have myself to blame

[coldshrugs]

take another step off the edge (redux)

pairing: io laithe /estinien varlineau word count: 2.7k note: first kiss incoming. this is a rewrite of the first thing i wrote about them and i think it's stronger all around :>

The meyhane is boisterous, as she knew it would be. Thavnairians are fond of seeking out their favorite watering holes when their working day has ended, eager for daylight and its heavy heat to give way to a night filled with pleasantly warm breezes, cool drinks, and intimate company. Mehryde’s is a popular destination for those reasons.

And Io is surprised to find she’s become a regular.

Throngs of thirsty revelers vie for unused tables or opt to stand in whatever free space their group can claim–all the better to dance, of course. Music played at a most unenjoyable volume swallows most conversation. Still, judging by the raucous peels of laughter and cursing that break through the sound, that might be a blessing from the gods themselves. Io picks her way through the packed wine house towards the usual spot, quite sure her apologetic smile comes across as a grimace. She is more than aware this is not her scene, yet she has accepted the invitation for the fourth consecutive week and eagerly anticipates the next.

Even places she would normally find uncomfortable are made pleasant by a close friend, or so she tells herself.

Estinien sits at a small, round table tucked away against the back wall. He hasn’t noticed her yet, but Io’s heart is in her throat as she approaches. The angles of his face are caught between the darkness pouring through the mezzanine and the colorful lights dancing further in the bar. One hand is propped under his chin, and the other loosely holds the rim of his half-finished drink. He looks as aloof as ever. Why he chose this place is a mystery to her.

When she breaks through the last few people, his expression brightens immediately.

“There you are,” he says, a hand raised to flag down a server before setting his attention firmly on her. “All’s well?”

She has no choice but to return his smile. “Sorry to keep you waiting. I’m afraid I’m still finding my bearings in the city.”

“Takes some getting used to, I suppose.” He pulls out the chair next to him, closer than the last time, and faces her fully when she takes it. “Have you any news from the sorceress?”

Right to the point, then.

“Not yet. But Shtola will find something, of that we can be sure. Unless Nidhana and her alchemists come through first.”

He nods his agreement and sips his drink, but speaks no more on the matter. 

Io fidgets with the edge of the tablecloth, unsure of what to say or if she should’ve said more. She doesn’t want to talk about the godsdamned void gate but now there’s no room for pleasantries. His silence feels weighty tonight, so unlike the blanket of comfort she’s grown used to; something is on his mind. Io thinks to ask what it could be when Mihleel saunters over, notepad at ready.

“What can I bring Mehryde’s favorite guests?”

They order their usual and before long the table is littered with glasses of beer and watered raki, joined by well-sampled small plates holding skewers of grilled shrimp and vegetables, cubed melon drizzled with honey, fried squid served with a spicy pepper sauce, and fluffy flatbreads waiting to be dipped in lemony yogurt. The food alone might be worth the crowd and the noise, but there is another reason she returns week after week.

Estinien relaxes as they eat, drink, and catch up. Talk of their work in the area is quickly forgotten in favor of less professional topics: the people they know, the places they’ve traveled, and the things they still want to see or do. They lean in to be heard over the drunken buzz around them, sliding their cushioned stools ever closer. The pauses between questions are gentle now, patient and easy. Theirs is a comfortable tension, like a sore muscle finally being stretched.

“Have you returned to Ishgard since we disbanded?”

He tells her of a brief visit with Alberic and a longer visit with Aymeric, who writes ‘far more often than he has any right to,’ apparently. The edge of his annoyance softens under years of fondness, and it is clear he misses his friend.

Io watches as he talks. The incongruity of delicately painted glass held in a strong hand, the way he pushes his sleeves up to his elbows, and the flex of tendon and muscle in his forearms. His face is flushed, from drink or the weather she cannot say, but it bleeds from his cheeks and ears down to his chest. Her own cheeks warm at the sight. The light breeze billows his loose shirt and it is everything to keep her eyes from roaming.

But he is watching her too, eyes darting between her lips and the hand nervously tangling in her hair or touching her neck, but always returning to meet her gaze. He tops up her raki before she can ask, pours just the amount of water she’s come to prefer, and why has he bothered to learn that?

“Apologies. I’m boring you, surely,” he says. His leg shakes under the table. “Now, you tell me some triviality or other. What’s on your mind?”

“Nonsense. I enjoy hearing about them, and I like when you talk like this.” Her hand falls to his forearm, his warm skin growing warmer beneath her touch, and both of them look down to the point of contact. 

Shit.

“Shit.”

Oh. She said it out loud.

Io jerks her hand away, turning her focus to her cup. She clears her throat before draining the milky-looking beverage. It is difficult to tell which burns more, the sweet anise-flavored spirit or the embarrassment scorching across her face. “I–” She laughs, unbidden, her own nervousness threatening to consume her. Close friend, she repeats in her mind. You are my friend, no matter how much I wish we were more. “I don’t know what came over me. There has been a substantial amount of raki tonight and, trust me, you’re better off being spared my thoughts in this state.”

He breathes something like a laugh into the space between them and glances from her to the empty cups–too few to claim drunkenness and they both know it.

Io closes her eyes and wonders if this will finally be the thing that kills her–nevermind saving the world from whatever terrible fate might threaten it next. While she ponders which would’ve been kinder, drowning in Leviathan’s slippery embrace or giving in to the light and becoming a lightwarden of unfathomable beauty and horror, Estinien lifts her wrist and places her hand on his arm once more.

She feels him shaking, his leg beneath the table, and his hand moving over hers, unsteady fingers tracing over her own until they fall away and leave only this simple touch. The surge of people and all their noise fade out of existence. It’s just them. Just him.

Io opens her eyes to catch Estinien’s little smile, half-hidden behind his glass as he finishes his drink too.

His chin rests heavily in his hand, exaggerating his smirk. But his eyes are what do her in. They lock on hers, soft and perceptive, willing her to act. “There is nothing I wouldn’t know about you, Io.”

Io begs her heart to slow its furious pace.

“Shall I bring another round?” Mihleel’s high-pitched lilt breaks through the haze and Io’s head snaps in her direction.

She tries to smile, but her head is far from clear, “I… I think we’ve had our fill for the night, but thank you for everything. You can leave it on our tab.”

Estinien does not deign to look in Mihleel’s direction. “Our thanks,” he mutters, his voice so low Io wonders if Mihleel heard him at all.

Their server’s eyes gleam with interest, dancing between Io and Estinien. Her tail darts behind her, rapid as a cat waiting to pounce on unsuspecting prey. “Mhm. In that case, I’ll leave you both to it. Enjoy your evening.” She wanders to the next table, gone as quickly as she appeared.

“Estinien–”

“I’ll walk you to the aetheryte.” He glances at her hand still on his arm, then stands, pulling away in the process.

“Oh, that won’t be necessary.” She joins him in standing. His brows knit as he nods twice, expression twitching between confusion and hurt. He wrestles with himself just as she does, and she’s offended him without meaning to. “Vrtra knew I was coming and asked to speak with me tomorrow, though I have no idea what he might want. Regardless, he’s invited me to stay at the palace so I won’t be returning to Mor Dhona tonight. Perhaps you could help me find the guest wing?”

His relief is palpable, and the smile he gives her is as easy as the one before. “‘Tis a bit of a trek, but shall we walk there? The city can be rather scenic at night.”

“I’d like that.” She means it, ready to take any excuse to spend more time with him.

They leave the Meyhane and bypass the small, shimmering aetherytes that would quicken their journey through Radz-at-Han, from the far end of Artha to Dharma.

Io thought the bar was overwhelming, but it is just one small part of the whole. Radz-at-Han is somehow even more vibrant at night. Color streams from every surface and the late-evening crowd bustles from one lively venue to the next. Estinien navigates the labyrinthine streets with his usual calm decisiveness, though his pace is unhurried. With him at her side, the sights and sounds feel lush. Inviting, even.

He is relaxed here. At home. There is a softness about him that would look out of place if she did not know him so well.

They meander through the city, making quiet conversation and sharing jokes along the way, stopping when something catches their attention; a street musician, a vendor offering spun sugar, the proprietor of a noticeably vacant tavern promising free drinks to the first twenty people in the door. Their arms brush each time they sway out of someone’s way, and she wonders what he’d think if she took his hand.

Another time, perhaps.

The evening stretches out, little by little until they have nowhere else to go besides their quarters.

The palace seems to glow in the night, light pouring from the upper windows and glinting off the lustrous surfaces. She had little time to note its beauty during the Final Days, and hasn’t had an extended visit since. Estinien pauses to let her take it in.

“I did say you would enjoy the views.” He crosses his arms, making no effort to hide his self-satisfied grin.

Io laughs lightly, “I’m glad you suggested the walk. Not that I needed convincing.”

He gestures toward their left with a nod. “Come, the guest quarters are this way.”

They reach their destination, a high-ceilinged corridor meticulously painted with vibrant shades of green and pink, and accented with delicate gold leaf. This sight, like every inch of Meghaduta, is astounding, even in the dim light. The guest hall is uncharacteristically free of the attentive staff so prevalent in other parts of the palace.

We are alone, Io realizes. It is more than simple fact—it is an unignorable sensation, felt like the sudden awareness of her tongue against the roof of her mouth. Like her chest rising and falling in stuttered intervals.

Her door lies a few paces ahead, and Estinien’s must be just beyond it. The easy peace between them simmers. There’s no crowd to make way for, and still, they walk close enough for their hands to brush.

“I think this is me.” Io hesitates in front of her door, gripping the handle, and looks up at him. Estinien crosses his arms again, caught in a sliver of moonlight. His silver hair gleams with it. She wonders what it’d feel like between her fingers. Gods, has he always looked like this? “I’ll say goodnight.”

She leans against the door, lingering.

Hoping.

“You need not say it so gently, you know?” Estinien takes a step closer. He’s half-smiling, and there’s something spirited in the words. Something as hopeful as she is.

A wave of giddiness rushes through her chest. Her friend, her ally for years, and now something new rips at the seam between comfort and possibility. But it’s not new at all. It has followed them for countless months, grown into something they can no longer overlook. Estinien stares down at her, unflinching, familiar, and full of fondness.

Io tugs the thread.

“How would you prefer I say it?”

Her eyes flash to his lips, still smiling, and she’s not sure who moves first.

Estinien raises a careful, calloused hand to her cheek before sliding it behind her neck. Io clutches his shirt, marveling at how the warmth of his skin bleeds through the fabric. They pull, and now they are forehead to forehead. His breath is on her face, his nose brushes hers. This is real, and he is warm, and he trembles when she slides her fingers through his hair (softer than she imagined it would be).

They pull, and his hand is on her back. Her chest is against his, and his heart plays the same long-suffering beat as hers. His fingers drift across her neck, pulling her hair away so he can feel her skin. He is fluid and certain, he moves like he needs her. His words echo in her mind: ‘There is nothing I wouldn’t know about you, Io.’ And she would know all of him as well. His mind, his heart, the taste of his lips, the feel of his body against hers. 

They pull and–

This it, the ephemeral moment before that will define everything that follows. A tender spark ignites between them, the answer to a question they’ve asked privately for several months: could you feel the same?

–they collide.

Yes, is the wordless reply, lost to the heat of this Thavnairian night. Yes, they say with searching hands, wondering how close is too close as they reshape their friendship into something new. Io feels starved for him, even as she gasps against his lips, pressed between the door and his body.

There is a careful sensuality in the way he touches her, a neediness to his kiss that makes her head spin. She smiles against his mouth, and he smiles back before deepening the kiss. His hands travel across her back, down to her waist, pulling her against him and reveling in her every reaction. She doesn’t want this to end but they are quickly approaching a threshold she isn’t sure she’s ready to cross. Not yet, not tonight–but his lips move to her throat and seven hells, she has been waiting for him for so long–

Io’s elbow knocks the door’s handle and it swings open behind them.

The kiss breaks. They catch themselves mid-stumble, fighting to keep their laughter quiet. As mortifying as alerting the staff would be, the feel of his hands on her waist might be worth a bit of embarrassment.

No one comes, and they stand in the cool moonlight for a moment, entangled and amused by this series of events. A smile plays on Estinien’s lips, one more brilliant than she’s ever seen, and he makes no effort to restrain it. How long has he wanted this?

He touches her face again, thumb sweeping across her cheek. “More fitting, wouldn’t you say?”

He kisses her quickly, and she chases his lips. He rests his forehead against hers, a frustrated little rumble building in his throat. One more is not enough, but they stop there.

Io beams, covering his hand with hers. “Then I should expect the same in greeting next time I see you.”

He hums a quiet laugh as he parts from her, turning to leave. “Goodnight then,” he says, throwing one last adoring look towards her before closing the door behind him.

Io is left standing in the center of her dark room, in the wake of Estinien’s warmth. The ghost of his kiss still tingles on her lips, his touch still warms her body. She resists the urge to follow him next door and pick up where they’ve left off.

Unable to stop smiling, she readies for bed. Nothing, no one, has ever been more worth the wait.

[okay-babe]

Headcannons ~ Alastor with a reader who has a contract with Valentino...

tags: alastor x fem! reader, established relationship (in the final third of the post), cam star! reader, possessive! alastor, valentino sucks (as usual), mild angst, mild nsfw note: okay so I got an ask wanting to know my thoughts on Alastor with a reader who used to be in a contract with Valentino and has to interact with him, but I misread it as Alastor with a reader who is currently in a contract with Valentino and has to interact with him lol, so here's this! (The actual request should be fulfilled soon, my bad anon!).

♱. At first, Alastor definitely thought you were more than just a little foolish for having made a deal with an overlord like Valentino (bro does not understand the concept of victim blaming).

♱. In his mind, the moth is so blatantly rancid that it just doesn't make any sense for anyone to ever think otherwise, even for a moment.

♱. But then, as he gets to know you better, he starts to see things a little bit differently.

♱. "This is gonna sound stupid..."

♱. You told him one day while speaking on the topic of the overlord who owned your soul, a rare occurrence indeed due to the stigma your contract seemed to carry.

♱. "But honestly, Val was the first person down here to actually make me feel like I was... I dunno... attractive?"

♱. You groaned at the end of your sentence, burying your head in your hands,

♱. "I just... I didn't recognize myself anymore, the person in the mirror wasn't me, y'know? It's like one second I was a human, and the next I was, well, this!"

♱. You exclaimed, gesturing to yourself all the while.

♱. "In a way, his absolutely ridiculous insistence that he could make me into a star made me realize that just because I looked a little different didn't mean I looked bad..."

♱. You trailed off, hands stuffed into your pockets as you looked into the distance,

♱. "And then when I learned about everything he had to offer? I mean how could I have possibly said no? It felt like a win-win back then, or at least something close to it. He promised that no one would touch me, that all he needed was my pretty face and a camera."

♱. You looked toward your then friend with a sigh, a tired smile plastered upon your face,

♱. "I guess he kept that part of the bargain, huh? I just never really thought he would end up being so... awful."

♱. You cringed at the end of your statement, eyes going glassy for a few moments before you suddenly clapped your hands together, standing up abruptly immediately afterward.

♱. "Haha, anyways, you have to have like a thousand contracts right? There's gotta be some good stories there."

♱. As you urged him to speak further on his own experiences, Alastor couldn't help but reconsider his previous thoughts regarding your deal.

♱. Perhaps you weren't as foolish as he had initially thought.

♱. Honestly though, as time goes on and your friendship develops even further, Valentino's contract with you really doesn't end up being that pressing of a topic.

♱. Most of the time, any thoughts regarding the overlord go unsaid, and your business with him is considered yours and yours alone.

♱. That is, until you miss a photo shoot for Slayboy magazine (sorry) and the moth turns up at the hotel, clearly pissed off.

♱. So pissed off in fact, that he had neglected to consider the fact that it wouldn't necessarily be you who responded to his incessant banging...

♱. With a wide grin and an almost obnoxious flourish, the radio demon opened the door, leaning slightly on his staff as he regarded the moth with an amused hum.

♱. "Oh my, the vice demon himself here to visit our humble hotel? Why, to what do I owe the displeasure?!"

♱. He exclaimed, watching as the man's eye twitched slightly in response.

♱. "Where is she?!"

♱. He growled, moving to stalk past Alastor only to be stopped at the pressure of the overlord's microphone against his chest,

♱. "Ah ah ah,"

♱. He tutted,

♱. "You most certainly do not want to do that."

♱. His voice held a hint of warning to it, and a great deal of amusement, his eyes full of malice as he spoke.

♱. Valentino glared,

♱. "Fuck off you corny old bitch, this doesn't concern you."

♱. In response, Alastor simply chuckled, his bones popping and muscles splitting as he slowly began to grow in size, in no mood for the other demon's antics.

♱. "Oh but that's where you're wrong, you insufferable wretch."

♱. He said with an earsplitting grin,

♱. "Anything that involves my most esteemed employee very much does concern me."

♱. In reaction to the sight before him, Valentino snarled, but took a step backward nonetheless, not quite stupid enough to pick a fight with the radio demon on his own.

♱. "Ugh, fine!"

♱. He shouted,

♱. "But you tell that fucking whore to be on site in thirty or I'll find a way to kill her twice!"

♱. And with that, he was turning back toward his limo, ignoring the loud radio static that sounded from behind as he did so.

♱. Of course though, that was just about the only time that Valentino ever got away with ordering you around in front of Alastor, because soon enough, your friendship began to bloom into an extremely unexpected romance.

♱. And after that?

♱. Well, Alastor became a lot less tolerant of the idea that something like your soul belonged to someone else.

♱. He was constantly glaring daggers at the moth demon nearly every time he saw him, be it at an overlord meeting, or even the photo shoots you had in studios outside of the V's gaudy looking headquarters (he might love you, but starting a war with Vox by hanging around in that tower definitely wouldn't be a very smart move).

♱. Makes a show of helping you undress at each and every shoot that he does go to though, neatly folding your clothing for you before pressing a gentle kiss to your head.

♱. "Go on then, my dear."

♱. He would purr,

♱. "I'll just be here enjoying the view if you need me." (He's so corny).

♱. Absolutely despises the fact that your deal forces you to show your body the way that you do in front of a camera. Like not a fan at all.

♱. He doesn't really judge you for it knowing why you ended up making your deal in the first place, but he has absolutely killed an obscene number of sinners and hellborn fools that he witnessed viewing your content in public.

♱. "Al, they're not doing any harm!"

♱. You commented one day after the particularly gruesome murder of a random sinner, arms crossed.

♱. "Oh, on the contrary, darling,"

♱. He'd purred with a wide and unsettling grin,

♱. "I'm afraid they were looking a bit too intently at what's mine."

♱. Yeah you didn't argue too much after that.

♱. (Not like it would ever do you any good to anyway).

♱. Whether or not he actually tries to find you a way out of your contract though, is really entirely up to you in the grand scheme of things.

♱. He certainly isn't fond of it, the idea of another man owning you and all...

♱. But in the end he'll get over it if you really want him to... Just give him a few hundred years or so...

♱. (Yeah unless you can give him like a thousand spectacular reasons not to, he's going to try to find a way to get you out of that deal with Valentino).

♱. Still, in the meantime, he definitely makes your shoots feel a little bit less daunting (although if Val makes one more comment about how lucrative a photo set with you and the radio demon would be, you're worried Al might actually kill the guy).

[propertyoftoru]

Smother Me | L.MH

wc: 2.5k

pairing: Lee Minho X Fem!Reader

warnings: smut MDNI, rimming (m rec), teasing, established relationship, praise (both rec), overstim, kind of switch!Minho?? like hes a dom in this but theres parts that are kinda subby idk, petnames (bunny, bub, baby,etc..), degradation and kind of dumbification, cum eating, handjob, hair pulling and a little face grabbing but nothing too mean, Minho has a filthy mouth, lmk if i missed anything!!

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for weeks and i could not bring myself to post it because i kept wanting to add or change things but... listen i just cant get this out of my head and yeah... i need to suffocate between this mans thighs asap.

You could not be blamed for the thoughts swimming around in your head nor for your failure to participate in any of the conversations taking place around you. Your boyfriend knew exactly what he was doing to you and if anything he was reveling in your frustrations. A conversation that took place only a few days ago comes to your mind as you trace your eyes across your current infatuation. 

“Lee Minho, do you know just how well you wear those pants?” His ears instantly turned bright red at your comment, only then realizing the intense stare you had lingering on his lower half. Your greedy eyes were savoring every inch of his muscular calves, bulging thighs, and cute little ass wrapped tightly in his faux leather pants. He coughed slightly, partially because his throat was suddenly feeling very dry, and partially because he wasn't used to you being so forward. 

Throughout your relationship Minho has always been the initiator, him being the one to ask you out on a date, asking you to officially be his girlfriend, and every minor or major step you took together. 

One thing he has always found endearing about you was how easily flustered you become each time he compliments you or offers you light teasing touches. More often than not, when he was fucking you into oblivion and whispering filthy things to you, you couldn't even respond in full sentences.

So hearing you make such a bold statement with a borderline predatory look in your eyes sent a chill up his spine.

“Quit looking at me like I’m a piece of meat..” he rolled his eyes as yours stayed zeroed in on his legs. “My eyes are up here bub.” His fingers lightly gripped your jaw, forcing you to readjust your focus.

You found your mind running wild with ideas and images that you would be embarrassed to admit to. Yet the smirk on your boyfriend's lips told you that the attention you were giving him wasn't unwanted - despite his comments. 

“Guess I'll have to start wearing these more often.” 

Leading you to where you are now, a mutual friends birthday party, surrounded by acquaintances chatting about who knows what while your horrible tease of a boyfriend practically eye fucks you from across the room. You would be a liar and a hypocrite if you didn’t admit to also eye fucking him, but with the way he looked tonight you couldn’t be held responsible. He was wearing a silky navy blue button up leaving the top few buttons left undone, along with a thick black choker wrapped deliciously around his throat. In addition to those ridiculously tight leather pants, his messy long hair was only adding to how insanely hot he looked.

You always found him attractive, whether that be when he first wakes up early in the morning, after getting his hair and makeup done for a shoot, even after a week long of exhausting schedules when he was on the brink of collapsing. You adored every side of him, the good, the bad, and the ugly (although you would argue that he doesn’t have an ugly side). But something about the way the material wrapped around his thigh muscles made him feel like a present you were just dying to unwrap.

He had been kind enough to tease you thoroughly before leaving your shared apartment, leaving you needy and slightly cranky from not getting what you wanted. 

For the past hour you had been texting him, begging for him to take you home and ruin you. Each of your pleas were ignored, the words read almost taunting you as he made casual talk with his friends. 

doris mom🐱💛: min please

doris mom🐱💛: i want to go home  

doris mom🐱💛: you have no idea how bad i need you right now

doris mom🐱💛: i’ll do anything please min 

doris mom🐱💛: ur being such a meanie

You felt your heart beat faster as you saw three dots pop up to tell you he was typing. 

cat butler🐱💙: oh? 

cat butler🐱💙: how am i being a “meanie” ??

You wanted to scream at that being the message he decided to respond to but you had his attention and you were not going to lose it. 

doris mom🐱💛: ur being a meanie for not letting me suffocate between your thighs and choke on your cock.

Your head snapped up at the sound of your boyfriend violently coughing - evidently he had taken a sip of his drink right before you had pressed send. You immediately ran to him, despite his coughing already beginning to cease, and offered a gentle hand on his back. Rubbing soothing circles between his shoulders as you gave him the most innocent look you could. 

“Min what happened? You should be more careful, I don't want you to choke!” 

He shot you a quick glare before covering it up with a sickly sweet smile and wrapping an arm around your waist. 

He lifted his drink to his lips again to take another sip before the plastic cup tumbled out of his grasp and spilt all over your front. You gasped loudly as the room temperature liquid seeped through your dress, your eyes immediately looking to see if it was being stained. 

“oops” You could almost hear the smirk that your boyfriend was fighting to keep off of his face. “baby! I'm so sorry it just slipped out of my hand!” 

While you knew that he intentionally spilt his drink all over you, you were unsure if it was as payback for making him choke or if it was an excuse to leave. He quickly rattled off something about needing to get you home to change and said his goodbyes before dragging you out of the party and to his car. You had half a mind to be upset with him for ruining your dress but the idea of finally getting Minho alone took priority in your mind. 

As your boyfriend drove you couldn’t help but continue to stare at the way the flesh of his thighs pooled as he sat in the driver's seat. Without hesitation you reached across the center console to place a hand on his thigh, much like he would normally do to you, even offering it a gentle squeeze. He flinched initially at the contact before releasing a shaky chuckle. “I guess delayed gratification makes you bold.”

“I was serious about wanting to suffocate between your thighs.” You began to gently knead his upper thigh feeling the muscle tighten and relax each time you moved higher. “It’s only fair after I let you spend hours between mine last night.” 

There it was again, the boldness and confidence that Minho wasn’t quite used to seeing out of you. Part of him loved it, happy to see you feeling so comfortable with him, and yet his more dominant side was telling him to put you in your place. He couldn't lie to himself and say that he wasn't enjoying how obsessive you were being. He loved the idea of you craving him so badly that you were willing to bypass your usual shyness to get what you wanted. 

“Careful bunny… you might get more than you bargain for if you keep running that pretty mouth of yours.” 

You watch his knuckles turn white as he grips the steering wheel harshly, attempting to suppress the gasp that slips from his mouth as you bring your hand over his bulge. The heel of your palm grinds into him just enough to make him squirm but not enough to relieve any real pressure and you watch as his adams apple jumps when he swallows harshly. He quickly reaches down to snatch your wrist and pull your hand away, seemingly suddenly remembering that he was supposed to be the one in charge. 

“Behave until we get home and I might consider fulfilling your requests.”

If you thought he looked good eye fucking you from across the room earlier tonight, you just might have to come up with a new word to describe how he looks right now. He was currently manspreading in front of you, something he does often much to your delight, with his lustful gaze staring down at you. You were currently kneeling between his open legs while he was perched comfortably on your living room sofa. Minho lifted his hand to gently pat your head, smoothing your hair down where he had messed it up during the heated makeout session that took place when you entered your apartment. Despite the obvious lust pooling in his eyes you could also spot the adoration that seemed to be present every time he looked at you and that made your heart thump so aggressively you were sure he could hear it.

Because you had spent the entire day teasing each other you knew that the events that were about to take place were more than likely going to be rough and messy, something that was quite common for you and Minho. So you savored every soft look and gentle touch you were currently getting, certain that you wouldn’t be seeing much more of it until the time for aftercare came around. You nuzzled against his thigh while he continued to pet you, turning your head slightly to press soft kisses against the smooth faux leather. A surprised yelp was ripped out of you when he suddenly gripped your hair and pulled you away from him, forcing your line of sight up to his eyes once again. 

“Greedy little bunny… I give you pets after you've done nothing but act like a desperate slut all day and you just can't help yourself.”

“M’sorry Min just wanted to-”

Minho is quick to tighten his grip on your hair while simultaneously grabbing your cheeks and squishing them together, effectively stopping you from speaking.

“I don’t remember asking you to speak?”

The mindless look you give him as you blink slowly at him, your lips smooshed together and your eyebrows furrowed together has his cock twitching against his thigh. 

“You said you wanted to suffocate between my thighs?” You nodded dumbly up at him, the prospect of what he was saying making you salivate. “Go on then bunny… If you can manage to make me cum I’ll consider touching your sloppy little pussy after.”

As soon as you were released from his harsh grip you made quick work of undoing his belt and unbuttoning his pants, thankfully he assisted you in tugging them off along with his boxers considering how tightly they hugged him. The instant he was exposed to you, you lurched forward and began pressing kisses and suckling softly on his tanned skin, looking up as he undid the buttons of his shirt. You ran one of your hands up his abdomen feeling his muscles tense beneath your touch while your other hand kneaded the flesh of the thigh you weren't sucking bruises into. His hips shifted forward slightly as he threw his head back, a breathy sigh followed by an appreciative hum told you that he wanted this just as much as you did. You took the opportunity of his hips being so close to the edge of the couch to wrap your arms around him similarly to the way he usually did when he ate your pussy for hours.

 The feeling of your wet tongue dragging up his length distracted him from the way you were holding him spread open for you. Despite desperately wanting to fuck your throat Minho couldn't quite bring himself to put a stop to your teasing, especially when you began to swirl your tongue around his leaking tip. You continued teasing him like this for a while, only offering flicks of your tongue against his slit and lazy drags up and down his throbbing cock. A strangled whine came from Minho as you raked your fingernails across his thigh and simultaneously suctioned your lips around his angry red tip. When you heard the delicious sound you had been waiting for you pulled back to do what you had been imagining since the first time you saw him in those pants. Just as he lifted his head to scold you for your endless teasing, the breath was practically knocked out of his lungs as he felt your tongue press against his hole.

“F-Fuck bunny what are you do- holy shit” 

The hand that you weren’t using to keep his leg open reached up to wrap around his throbbing length, mostly focusing on twisting around the weeping head of his cock. His eyes could barely stay open as they practically crossed trying to process all of the pleasure you were offering him. You switched between gently fucking your tongue into him and occasionally circling it around his rim. Minho could swear he had never moaned so loudly in his life but it was like his brain had shut off and he couldn’t even begin to care how pornographic he probably sounded.

“Such a dirty little slut for me aren't you baby? Fuuuck… keep going just like that bunny you’re making me feel so good.” 

The sounds of his moans and whines combined with the wet squelching sounds and your own satisfied hums that filled the room had you pathetically rubbing your thighs together as you worked. You could feel his heavy cock pulsing in your palm as his hole began to clench and unclench at the prospect of his nearing orgasm. Taking a deep breath you sunk your tongue just a little deeper, until your nose was pressed against him and your access to oxygen was restricted. Adding to the overwhelming pleasure you were giving him you wrapped your hand just a little tighter around his cock, quickening your strokes just enough to have the rope tightening in his stomach. When you began wiggling your tongue deep inside of him he clenched his eyes shut tightly as he felt the rope begin to snap. His moans abruptly stopped as his fingers tangled in your hair, holding you in place as his orgasm violently washed over him. His thighs shook around your head as he came all over his stomach and chest, his hips desperately fucking up into your hand greedily attempting to chase more pleasure.

Only when he felt his eyes begin to water from overstimulation did he nudge your hand away and release the grip he had on your head.

Both of your heavy breaths filled the room as he basked in his post high bliss, enjoying the soft brush of your fingertips against his skin. He flinched slightly as he felt your tongue begin to kitten lick his release off of him, cleaning him up just as he had taught you to.  Once you finished he pulled you up onto his lap, immediately attaching his lips to yours, while whispering praises to you in between each kiss. 

“I think my bunny deserves a reward for her good behavior.” 

[deans-queen]

Bad at Love ❤️‍🩹

Prompt Idea: “At my worst, I worry you’ll realize you deserve better. At my best, I worry you won’t.”

Characters: Dean Winchester x Female Reader (Y/N) – mostly told in your (the readers’) P.O.V.

Summary: Dean and you have been close friends for a while since you started hunting with him and Sam. After a hunt, you and Dean get into a fight, then he gets vulnerable about his feelings towards you.

Inspired by the song: Bad at Love by Halsey

Warnings: SMUT, p in v (wrap it up kids), mature and sexual language. *18+ Readers ONLY please!* ( my best friend helped me with the smut parts )

Reader’s P.O.V.

“I really don’t need this from you Dean!” I shouted while storming into the bunker.

I walked quickly towards the room that Dean, and I were sharing.

Sam followed behind us, he was clearly irritated. “Will you guys stop already! This has been going on for an hour now.”

“Shut up, Sammy.” Dean said sternly. “And don’t you walk away from me damn it!” He roared while pointing at me. I got into the room and slammed my stuff down on the floor. Dean followed me into the room and shut the door.

“You’re being ridiculous! I can totally handle myself on hunts!”

“Yeah, cause trying to seduce a Werewolf and then getting kidnapped is handling yourself.” He said sarcastically.

I turned around and put my hands on my hips. “I thought it would work.”

He rolled his eyes.

He’s so damn stubborn, I can’t stand it.

“That’s not the point Y/N, you could have gotten yourself killed.”

“Well, we took care of that werewolf and still saved that little girl.” I sat on the edge of the bed and folded my arms.

I scoffed and muttered to myself, “I didn’t have this trouble when I was working alone.”

Dean turned back and looked at me with a shock to his face. “If that’s the way you feel sweetheart, then the door is right there.” He pointed at it and we both stayed silent for a minute.

I glared at him, got up and began to walk away. Tears were filling up my eyes, I guess my instincts were right about me and Dean. We didn’t belong together. Even though I have been crushing on him for a few months now it was obvious he didn’t have any feelings for me.

“Wait…” He said softly.

“What?!” I said harshly, turning around to face him.

“Look- I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know what came over me.”

“Why are you acting like this Dean? I mean…ever since that guy flirted with me last week you’ve been acting differently. I thought we were friends.”

“That’s the thing Y/N, I don’t want to be just friends with you…”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Listen to me, please.” He said softly while taking my hands. His beautiful emerald, green eyes went from anger to soft and sincere.

“The reason I’ve been acting like this is because over the past few months I’ve developed strong feelings for you. I tried to hide them as much as I could but I…I can’t get you out of my head. The way you walk, the way you talk…. the way your hair lightens in the sun, the way your eyes light up when you laugh. It’s all so damn sexy to me.”

I was too stunned to speak, after all this time he felt the exact same way about me. I smiled at him and touched his face. I stroked his cheek and his stubble tickled my fingers.

“I feel the exact same way about you Dean, I have ever since I met you.”

He smiled back at me while saying this, “And the reason why I got so upset with you about the hunt is because I don’t wanna lose you. I always make the same mistakes cause, I’m bad at love. I’m bad at expressing my feelings. It’s something I’ve struggled with since I was a kid ... I pushed you away because at my worst, I worry you’ll realize you deserve better and walk away like all the others have.”

I'm bad at love

But you can't blame me for tryin'

You know I'd be lyin' sayin'

You were the one

That could finally fix me

Lookin' at my history

I'm bad at love

“That’s not true Dean, I’m always going to stand by you. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” I nudged him while winking.

He touched my face and leaned towards me allowing our lips to collide. The kiss was soft at first, growing more passionate. His lips were so soft and plump. I pulled back looking at his face and kissed him passionately again, he started rubbing on my body and within seconds our clothes were off. He began to lay me down and he started kissing my neck down to my boobs, while grabbing them with his strong hands. His lips moved down to my belly button and shortly after his mouth reached my pussy. I gasped. Dean asked, “Do you want me to keep going?” I said “Yes please,” I said softly, while I shoved his head back down.

As he went on my pussy was dripping wet and I was getting more antsy to make love with him. I told him to stop and lay down. “Now it’s my turn babe.” I said. He smirked and said “Okay.” He looked up and down at my body calling me beautiful. “Your body is so perfect baby, and it’s all mine.” He growled. We switched positions and I began to climb on top of him, teasing him while rubbing his dick on my pussy. He said “Don’t tease me baby, I want you inside me” I laughed while slowly putting it in and we both moaned instantly. “Oh fuck!”, we both said while grabbing onto each other. I started bouncing up and down super fast. Dean told me to stop. He didn't want to cum yet, but I told him I wanted him to. I was so close to cumming and I didn’t wanna stop now. I began going back and forth hopping on his dick and I begged Dean to cum inside me. He smiled looking at me and said “Okay, baby.”

On the last bounce Dean and I came together while moaning in each other’s mouth and grabbing each other's skin. We sat there for a moment and Dean looked up at me and said softly “You’re so perfect”, while passionately kissing me again.

“I guess this means we are together now.” Dean said.

And I giggled, nodding in approval. I was so happy that he was finally mine.

Then we stayed in bed, cuddling and enjoying each other's company. All while eating cheese burgers …. and of course pie!

Authors Note:

Hope you enjoyed this story!

Feel free to let me know what you think!

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[crimsonwritings]

His girl

Pairing: Cassian x female reader

Summary: Cassian finally makes a move on Y/N.

Warnings: reader being insecure about herself, slight mention of body shaming.

Words: 2.4k

A/N: This was written for @starfallweek hosted by @azsazz and @writingsbychlo. Am I entirely happy with it? No. Do I want to be part of this amazing event anyway? Yes.

378 years 4 months and 19 days. That’s how long Cassian had been in love with her. Ever since that day, when Rhysand came back from a visit at the Hewn City with her in his arms, saying that she would stay with them from now on. Her family had seen a potential threat in her, because of the powers she showed. Someone who disturbed the stability of their ridiculous culture. But it was the fact that nobody wanted to marry her that had made her father scream at her, blaming her for the blindness of any potential husband.

Cassian still didn’t understand how anybody could say no to her. Her face wasn’t pretty enough they had said. Her body not tender enough, her teeth not straight enough. As if she was a mare, ready for breeding. Nonsense. He had been captivated by her beauty since the moment he met her and if somebody would have asked him he would have married her right away.

Now he was standing at the bar in the House of Wind, to grab some drinks for himself and his friends and all he could think about was her. He wondered why she still wasn’t here yet. She loved Starfall and she wouldn’t miss it by any chance but maybe something had happened? Should he go check on her? No, she surely had a date anyway who would accompany her. They were probably enjoying some alone time right now before they would eventually show up. Cassian desperately tried not to imagine her kissing somebody else, their hands gliding down that beautiful body, whispering sweet nothings into her ear…

“You know, if you grab that glass any tighter it’ll break.” Cassian jumped at the voice of the shadowsinger behind him.

“Cauldron Az, could you stop sneaking up on me like that?” He turned around to the sight of an amused looking Illyrian.

“Oh believe me, I wasn’t sneaking. You were just so deep in your thoughts that you wouldn’t have realised if a whole army stood behind you.”

“Haha, very funny. What do you even want?” He hated to be moody towards one of his eldest friends, but the picture of the girl he loved in the hands of someone else was still to present in his head.

Azriel didn’t seem to be bothered by it. “Figured you’d need some help carrying five glasses. Though I guess Rhys and Feyre won’t drink something any time soon. They just left. Together.”

The prospect of his brother finally making a move on his mate filled Cassian with excitement. “So you think it’s gonna happen? Rhysie is gonna get his girl?”

Azriel only shrugged his shoulders. For any other person it would have seemed like he didn’t care about Rhysands love life but Cassian knew exactly that the shadowsinger was just as invested in it as him. “The odds are good. But if I were you I wouldn’t be worrying about him but myself. So, are you finally gonna make a move on her tonight?”

The fact that Azriel didn’t even use her name was indicator enough that everyone knew about the Generals hopeless feelings towards her. “Oh common Az, you know she isn’t interested in me that way. I mean we are friends! For almost four centuries we’ve been friends!”

“Really?” A smirk was creeping up on Azriels face as if he knew something Cassian didn’t know.

Frustration streamed through him, he had to put down the drink and hold on to the counter, fearing he might throw the glass at the next wall. “Yes! And it doesn’t matter anyway, because she definitely has a date for tonight.”

“Does she now? Well turn around.” As Cassian did he set his eyes on the most breathtaking creature he had ever seen.

Y/N walked into the room, in a dress that shimmered like the moon itself. It was hugging her beautiful curves, then flowed to the ground from right beneath her hips, getting wider the lower it got. Oh, what he would have given to be the one to help her out of this dress later on. Her hair was pinned up, leaving her long neck on display. Cassian wanted to mark every inch of it with his tongue and teeth, until all the males in Prythian knew that she belonged with him.

His heartbeat rose up at the sight of her. She looked like a freaking goddess, drawing all the attention on her. It seemed like everyone wanted to know who the beautiful girl was. Did she even realise how they were staring at her? Women, who looked like they either wanted to kill her, or be her? Men longing after her, just like he did right now?

If she had noticed the attention lying on her she ignored it, for she strode threw the crowd, chin up, her eyes scanning the room as if she was looking for someone.

But the prettiest sight, even though he hated himself for it, was the fact that there was no other man on her arm. “She is alone!”

Cassian had whispered the words to himself, still in trance from the sight of her. He had not realised that the shadowsinger still stood behind him.“Yep, she is. And I can tell you the exact two reasons why.”

The General couldn’t tear his eyes from her. He feared she would disappear if he did, as if she was only an illusion. Thankfully Azriel seemed to understand as he spoke on without a request. “You do realise that you are literally growling at every male that comes near her? It’s like you are her personal guard dog who is following her around everywhere.”

Now the frustration crept back into Cassian and he broke his stare, trying to ignore the physical pain he felt in his chest while doing so. “Wait, you are making it sound like it’s my fault! Oh great, so she is probably pissed at me too.”

Azriel wore that annoying smirk again, Cassian could have punched him in the face for it. He decided to look at her again instead. “Well, she should be pissed if she really wanted to have somebody else as her date. Yet, she isn’t. Which leads me to reason number two.”

“Oh yeah, and what would that be?”

“The fact that she is so absolutely disinterested in any of those guys that they can see it on her face. She might speak to them and smile at them, but her eyes only ever light up when she looks at you.” As if on clue Y/N’s eyes met Cassian’s and rested there. She was gifting him a radiant smile and her eyes…they glittered as if they held a thousand stars in them. It was that moment he realised that she had been searching the room for him. And that the man who was now laying a scarred hand on his shoulder had been right.

“Please, do us all a favour and go get your girl, brother.” With that Azriel grabbed the drinks for him and Mor and silently made his way back to where their friend was located.

Cassian started to move. He needed to get to her as soon as possible. She was like a magnetic force pulling him to her and it seemed like she might have felt the same as she took her steps in his direction. They never broke eye contact on their sheer never ending way to each other. When they finally met each other in the middle of the room he was so overwhelmed by her presence that he couldn’t say anything but a whispered “Hi”.

She grinned up at him, got on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Hi”

Cassian could literally feel the blush threatening to reveal him. He decided to distract her from it. “Didn’t you want to bring someone with you?”

“No, nobody asked me to be honest. But I guess I should have considered that. It’s probably just me…I mean it’s always been that way, right?” Cassian knew that look on her face. He had seen it multiple times, whenever Y/N started to feel low about herself, started to believe those ugly words these men had spoken to her a lifetime ago.

It wasn’t his intention, to make her feel like this on maybe the most important day in her years schedule.

His brain tried to find a solution for the mess he navigated himself into. He wanted to cheer her up, to spend a fairytale like evening with her before he would confess everything he kept secret from her ever since the both of them met.

But his silly little heart acted faster than he could think about something. “I’m asking you!”

“What?” Now it was her turn to blush.

There was no going back now. There would be no perfect timing and no privacy. He would tell her right here, right now, with maybe a hundred people gathering around them, in the middle of the ballroom. And if all of Velaris would call him a lovesick fool by tomorrow so be it. He didn’t give a damn about it. “I’m asking you to be my date!”

There was utter disbelief in her eyes and something that looked like worry. “Cassian, are you drunk or something?”

“Yes I am sweetheart. Drunk on you. But if you mean drunk in the traditional way then no, I’m not.”

“Cassie…” Her bashful gaze dropped to the ground. There was a strain in her voice that almost sounded like sadness, because she was afraid. Afraid that the man in front of her was only playing with her, not meaning anything he said right now.

Another small gesture Cassian recognised about her. It felt like she was a mysterious book, written in a language only he could decipher.

He used his fingers to lift up her chin, desperate for her to see the truth in his eyes.

“I should have asked you that earlier I know that. I wanted to ask you but I was so scared that you would say no and that I would risk whatever we have between us. But tonight I’ve realised what an idiot I’ve been who misinterpreted everything, or at least I hope so because otherwise this could end badly. Well, even if it does I want to say it because you deserve to know how I feel about you and I want you to see what an amazing person you are.”

Cassian had rambled his words so fast, his lungs forced him to take a breath before his crucial statement. “I love you Y/N…So will you give me the honour and make me the happiest man alive by being mine? For Starfall and for eternity?”

Her eyes went wide in surprise, her mouth agape. She looked at him as if he came from another world, as if she had never seen him before. Cassian could almost see her brain trying to realise what he had just said.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood like this, but her silence was killing him. This moment, where he could do nothing but wait for her response that didn’t seem to come. Facing that thing under the library again appeared less stressful than the uncertainty he currently found himself in. “Sweetheart? Not that I want to sound rude, but I think this is the part where you should say something.“

The disbelief in her eyes turned into mischief and before Cassian could register it she was wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him down and kissing him.

He had expected a lot of things. Tears, because he had ruined their friendship. Or that she would burst out into anger, maybe throwing a shoe at his head like Feyre did to Rhysand. That she would never want to see him again. Yet she was kissing him, in front of everyone else. As if she had planned to do it for the longest time. Just like he did.

Kissing her was like everything he expected it to be and more. A thousand butterflies erupted in his stomach, travelling through his body to kiss every part that was him awake. Her fingers tangled in his hair and he moaned into the kiss at the feeling of it. There was a soft voice in his head, singing over and over again. Mine, mine, mine.

The Illyrian already missed her lips when she pulled away, chasing after them to feel the softness again, to taste their sweetness. Cauldron, he was obsessed with her by only one kiss. In that moment she could have told him to jump from the balcony with his wings bound together, like once during the blood rite, he would have done it.

She started to leave soft kisses on his neck, travelling up to his ear, and if the act itself didn’t drive him crazy than her hummed word definitely did. “Yes!”

Cassian couldn’t help but growl at her answer and in the next second he lifted her up and spun her around, enjoying the beautiful sound that was her laughter.

When the music started to play he put her back on her feet. Her hair was now slightly out of place, face a little bit red, but for Cassian she was still stunning. He wanted to take her to his room, to show her just how gorgeous she was in his opinion, but this would have to wait. For this was Starfall and he wanted to spend it with her. So he performed a slight bow in front of her, taking her hand in his to put a light kiss on her knuckles. „Would you like to dance with me, my lady?“

He could have sworn her giggles lit up the whole ball room before she answered him. „I would love to dance with you, General. Until the sun creeps up behind the mountains again.“

And so they did. They were dancing the whole night, never breaking eye contact and only stopped to watch the magnificent sight of the souls travelling along the sky. Later, when the thoughtful celebration had turned into a party, they could be seen dancing with their friends, sharing their luck with them.

The whispers that could be heard throughout Velaris the next day were positive ones, stating what a beautiful couple the both of them made. Although some claimed to have seen the General tackling their High Lord to the ground when he returned with the cursebreaker, laughing and screaming while doing so. “Rhysie! I have a girlfriend now!”

Tags: @hellodarling1357

[vastderp]

I Had A Baby Brother

My brother was found dead last tuesday in his apartment.

He died anywhere from Sunday to Monday, and his landlord got worried and checked up on him and found him on the floor with one hand over his face. There was an open jug of methanol nearby. My sister thinks he drank it, I pray he didn't. It was an ugly, fucked up death.

He was in declining health this past decade because he was a paraplegic and uncontrolled diabetic. There are systems in place to help with low income people in his condition, but they were barred from him as he was a convicted felon.

He went from learning to walk again in the physical therapy pool to drinking a gallon of vodka per day, growing more hostile and bitter as the pain got worse, until his body just gave out. He drove away his friends, he drove away his family, and then he hit the floor and never got up.

I was meant to view the body with my sister and her grown kids, but the funeral home couldn't tell us where his body had been sent, and stopped answering the phone on friday before memorial day weekend, and then we had to wait for someone to follow up on my sister's dozens of phone messages, which they finally did, to try and make their little profit.

My sister, who has been handling all of this along with my niece, selected a different funeral home for the cremation because the first one was disgraceful with my mother's death in 2007, and they're disgraceful all over again with my brother's now.

At one point today they finally established contact, and asked how my sister wanted to handle the arrangements for her "father". O how casual the not giving a fuck goes! Dude pressed to make a sale even after she told him how unhappy we were with their work.

All this to say that I have a car full of inherited possessions, unused medical gear, and the shitty fucked up remnants of my brother's shrine to Mom.

Good old Mom may have died almost 20 years ago, but her gentle, loving mission to smother her only son to death (and probably into eternity) is finally successful. Of all of us, I've often wondered who got it worst: The golden child, the scapegoat, or the parentalized invisible middle kid. Now that one of us has effectively committed suicide, I guess it's for the scapegoat and me to hash out who gets second place. My mother crippled him long before his car accident, in one long and winding but uninterrupted line of consequences from his birth to death. I consider it a murder-suicide. Which was which? They were both the killer, and both the victim. Enmeshment is a motherfucker.

I'm super bitter, really fucking sad, and incredibly proud of what's left of my family for how they're coming together now. (Except my dad, who is in another state, petting his dogs, because I don't think he can really deal with this shit).

So what's left? To go put some cologne on his corpse when they finally let us go view what's left of him. He always liked to smell nice and he probably doesn't right now.

They'll cremate him, and give us a ridiculously heavy cardboard box of ashes that we'll have to carry out, knowing it's all that's left of a lifetime of struggling and pain. Probably we're gonna mix his ashes with Mom's, and make that lifetime of enmeshment official.

I hope if they go to the same afterlife, he kicks her in the cooter. I hope she kicks him back. I hope they can see each other with eyes unclouded by trauma, and forgive each other for the choices they both made. I hope they forgive me for still being mad at them both for not being stronger. I hope I will forgive myself for a lifetime of resentment and blame. I sure got enough time for that.

Jason was funny, weird, secretly really smart but never made a point of it. He was stylish. He was a broken man who could have made better choices and didn't, who was happily fed poison until he couldn't live without it, who was basically his own whole ass Pink Floyd song. His violence sent me running into a better life. His death sent me trudging back into a damaged family with gaping holes like torn out teeth, into the arms of my sister, and we reconciled. There's just us two left now, and it's our job to make something beautiful come out of this jerry springer childhood we shared. We're doing our best.

Dozens of catheters still in the package. Leakproof bed padding in a plaid pattern. Gallons of creams, antacids, fiber supplements by the jar, pressure sore ointments, fungus treatment creams, lidocaine pads, antibiotics, antipsychotics, a hash pipe or two.

An entire apartment hoarded with moist towelettes, pressure garments, and cleaning supplies. An entire life choked with mental damages and crying relatives. I put on CeeLoo Green's "Robin Williams" and sobbed until my face felt burned. It helped.

All the usable/safe to give away medical equipment is being distributed to the other impoverished disabled people in his apartment complex, who will hopefully put it to good use. I got his old manual wheelchair because sometimes I can't walk. I'm terrified of becoming more like him, so back to phsycial therapy I go.

The rest?

The memories, the pity, the jug of methanol that I pray he never actually drank, the stain he left on his floor after a lifetime of compulsive tidiness, the shrine to the woman he killed who also killed him? All these things I will keep with me forever. I will honor him. He could have been so much more, for so much longer. He had a whole story I'll never know. He contained incredible kindness and generosity, and also a rage so deep it was fatal. He was only 41.

If you can spare a couple bucks for the gofundme my niece set up, it'd really help make the financial side of this horseshit a little more bearable while we do all the shit that comes with a death. Thank you for taking the time to read this post, for your sympathies, and for reading my fucked up family trauma dump. Rest assured there will be more.

Dear god, will there ever be more.

Send help. Send pizza. Send sad hip hop. Hail Atlantis. Hail Jai.

[amhrosina]

Afterglow (Matt Murdock x Reader)

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a/n: another taylor swift song fic lmfao i just cannot help myself, this one is so angsty i almost felt bad for Matt just writing it (someone pls give that man a hug, he NEEDS one) also i feel so bad about not posting that i didnt even send this one to my beta reader i just posted it and hoped for the best lmfao

Summary: Matt and Reader have an argument that feels like it might be relationship-ending after Matt's hectic lifestyle as Daredevil catches up with him.

warnings: ANGST BRO SO MUCH ANGST, matty really just deserves the world, angry matt at the beginning, soft matt and foggy convo, matt doesn't know how to accept love, super soft matt at the end, some religious imagery i guess, happy ending

-

I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue

Put you in jail for something you didn’t do

I pinned your hands behind your back, oh

Thought I had reason to attack, but no

Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves

Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us

Why'd I have to break what I love so much?

It's on your face, and I'm to blame, I need to say

The door slammed behind Matt in a fitful rage, and he was so pissed off, so intense in his anger that he wanted to turn around and slam it again, just to lash out a second time. It was so unlike him to be this way, so unlike him to allow the festering wound that was his soul show itself so plainly, but it had been a long night, long year, long life and he was fucking tired.

And you. You. You. You. You’d been caught in the crossfire. 

“Fuck.” Matt breathed, already regretting the argument that he’d started simply because he hadn’t been able to reel the Devil back in after a long night. The tight leash he held on the part of him that he hated, the part of him that you’d never seen because he’d hidden it so deep inside himself every night, was a ghost in his hands. The line between Matthew the person and Daredevil the vigilante had been blurring for months, but tonight was the first time he’d let it slip through the careful facade he’d been constructing around himself. He was a shattered window, ready to break at the slightest bit of pressure. 

The cold sliced into Matt’s skin as he stepped through the doorway at the front of his building, a sobering chill of wind that triggered the memory of your eyes welling with tears. He’d been relentless in his anger, and what for? Because he had a bad night? Because he couldn’t save everyone, and somehow that was your fault? 

Asshole is the word you’re looking for, Matthew.

Matt groaned and pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing Foggy’s number before he could talk himself out of it.

“It’s three in the morning, Matt.” Foggy said by way of greeting, voice still heavy with sleep. “You’re not somewhere dying are you?”

“Only metaphorically.” Matt replied, shuffling his feet. He lowered himself to sit on the stairs beneath him, huffing as his body settled against the concrete. The metal of the railing dug into his temple as he rested his head against it, an uncomfortable reminder that the only person to blame for this was himself.

“You okay?” Foggy’s tone had shifted from a sleepy annoyance to somewhat concerned. 

Matt closed his eyes. He didn’t deserve the love he received from his friends.

“I’m-” He started, but cut himself off when he realized he had no idea what he was going to say. Was he okay? No, he didn’t think so. 

“You’re kinda freaking me out here, man.”

“I fucked up, Foggy.” He deflated as he admitted it.

“With her?” Foggy pressed.

“With her. With everything.” Matt shrugged, blinking away the tears burning the back of his eyes. Your sudden return to his thoughts felt like whiplash, and he couldn’t catch his breath. “She deserves better than me.”

“Matt,” Foggy chided, and Matt could tell he was shaking his head, “Don’t say that. She loves you.” 

“Maybe not anymore.” Matt knew how ridiculous and juvenile he sounded, but the Matthew-Murdock-party-of-one pity party was in full effect, and he was leaning into the sad corner of his being so aggressively he couldn’t stop himself from saying it.

“She loves you.” Foggy repeated. “I don’t think anything could change that. What happened?”

“I had a bad night and yelled at her. It was stupid and I feel like an ass-”

“An asshole.” Foggy finished, and Matt couldn’t stop the chuckle that followed this observation. “Listen, did you tell her any of this?”

“Not yet.” The longer Matt sat, the more he hated himself for leaving. The words he had shouted echoed in his mind. “She should just leave. I’m never going to be able to give her what she deserves.”

“What about what you deserve, Matt?” Foggy asked, heated in the defense of his very best friend, “You deserve to be loved, too.”

Matt sat with Foggy’s statement for a second, letting the love wash over him for the briefest moment. Is this what it’s like for the kind of people who can easily accept the love of others? His body felt warm and fuzzy, an unfamiliar but comforting sensation that had him rubbing the heel of his hand across his chest.

“I should go apologize and hope to God she’ll take me back.” Matt sighed.

“She will, Matt.” Foggy assured him. “She will.”

Matt returned the phone to his pocket and turned, heading back into the place that held his entire aching heart.

It's so excruciating to see you low

Just wanna lift you up and not let you go

This ultraviolet morning light below

Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh

I lived like an island, punished you with silence

Went off like sirens, just crying

Why'd I have to break what I love so much?

It’s on your face, don't walk away, I need to say

Hey, it's all me, in my head

I'm the one who burned us down

But it's not what I meant

Sorry that I hurt you

When Matt reentered the apartment, it had only been twenty minutes since he’d stormed out, but it had felt like hours. You were in the same place that he’d left you - curled up in a sitting position on the sofa - except now your cheeks were coated with salty tears that permeated the air around you. Matt tasted them on his tongue the second he opened the door, a twinge of pain shooting through his chest as he realized just how bad the situation was. You were so deep in thought, cycling through the words Matt had spat at you, that you hadn’t noticed his arrival.

“Petal?” Matt called softly, alerting you to his presence in the room. You startled, turning to look in his direction. The silence before you responded was deafening and anxiety inducing, something Matt had never handled well. He wrung his hands together and took a step closer to you. Finally, you spoke.

“You came back.”

Not a question, but not really a statement either. A simple observation that left Matt stumbling over his words. 

“I uh…never really left. I was just downstairs.” He scratched the back of his neck. “On the steps out front. I didn’t go far.”

“I thought you weren’t coming back.”

Matt’s lip wobbled as he inhaled sharply and asked, “Do you want me to go?”

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to that question. He listened to your answer anyway. He would listen to any words you had to offer, even if they were words that might kill him.

“You said some terrible things, Matt.” You sniffled, sighing heavily as another wave of tears coated your cheeks. “You said ‘If you can’t handle this, I don’t think we should be together anymore.’ And the funny thing is, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be handling.”

“Petal, I-” Matt began, shaking his head.

“No, Matt.” Your voice had suddenly become very firm and very loud, all at once. Matt flinched. “I’m not finished.” You adjusted your body, leaning your head back against the sofa before continuing. “I don’t know who you are anymore. My Matty would never keep things from me or disappear for days at a time or yell at me. The man I fell in love with is missing, and I don’t know what to do to get him back.”

The hold Matt had on his tears was obliterated as you admitted your feelings to him. Warm tears fell down his face, every droplet an admission of guilt. You were right, of course. Matt hadn’t felt like himself in months, and instead of trying to get a grip on himself, he had been leaning into the suit every night, forcing his mind to focus on other things. He always took on the brunt of the pain in any situation - he’d been doing this his entire life - but he had not realized how much of that pain was being transferred to you every time he forgot himself.

“Baby, I’m- I can’t even say how sorry I am.” Matt sank to his knees in front of you, pleading. “You’re right about everything, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t be good enough for you or come home to you after work like a normal boyfriend would and I’m sorry for the things I said. I never wanted to hurt you the way I did. I will never, ever, deserve your love.” He swallowed a sob as he admitted what he thought was the truest thing he’d ever said out loud. “Foggy told me I deserve love but I’ve thought and thought about it and I can’t imagine a world where your love will ever feel like anything but a gift to me.”

You sighed again, sniffling as you lifted your hand to cradle Matt’s wet cheek.

“I know I’m fucking it up. I’m sorry I can’t be more. This is all I have to offer, and I know it’s selfish to ask you to keep loving me but I can’t be without you. You’re all I have.”

“I don’t understand, Matty.” You shook your head, furrowing your brows.

“You’re the only thing that brings me home. And I don’t mean physically. You’re the only reason I can find my way back to myself. You remind me of the love the world is capable of. Not even Foggy can do that for me the way that you do. Can’t you see that you’re it for me? Without you, I am just a man walking hand in hand with the Devil. There is no point without you.”

“Matty.” You sighed, caressing his cheekbones as tears cascaded down his face. 

Matt wasn’t sure what he wanted you to say. That he did deserve love, or maybe that you weren’t going to leave him after tonight was over, or maybe anything besides ‘I don’t love you anymore’. 

“Don’t leave me.” He begged, barely above a whisper, so tired of the war raging in his mind. If there was anything he was capable of doing tonight, it was pleading with you for this. Beyond that, he was useless. “Don’t leave.”

“Will you lay with me?” You asked, and Matt nearly collapsed into your hold. It was not what he was expecting, but he would take it. The inevitable self-hatred and doubt about this moment echoed in the back of his mind, but he was ignoring it for once. All he wanted to do was lay with you, so that’s exactly what he did.

Tell me that you're still mine

Tell me that we'll be just fine

Even when I lose my mind

I need to say

Tell me that it's not my fault

Tell me that I'm all you want

Even when I break your heart

I need to say

I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you (Ooh)

I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh)

I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go

Meet me in the afterglow

Matt was on the verge of tears again, lying next to you in the bed that you had shared with each other for so many nights. He was so afraid of losing this, losing you. He wasn’t entirely sure he would survive if you asked him to leave after this. He wasn’t entirely sure that mindset was healthy, either, but that didn’t stop him from contemplating it. He was here, and you were here, and if he was destined to live in this doubt forever, then at least he would die next to you.

Your tears had long dried up, but the ache deep inside you was palpable and overwhelming and he didn’t know what to do. The hand you had led him here with, the one that you still held, the only thing connecting your body to his was his safety blanket. This was what people called a safe space, he thought. For the first time in a long time, Matt began to silently pray.

He prayed for you, and he prayed for himself, and mostly, he prayed for love. He prayed that the night would last forever, so that he could lay next to you for the remainder of his life. He prayed for forgiveness, and begged for yours. He prayed for the strength it would take if you didn’t grant it to him. Because if you asked him to leave, he would. It would hurt and possibly - no, definitely - kill him, but he’d do it, because you deserved that, at least. The possibilities of the night were endless, and that was the scariest thing to Matt. Anything could happen.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked, lightly squeezing his hand.

“I’m praying.” He murmured, squeezing your hand back.

“About what?”

“About you.” 

“Oh, Matty.” 

The smile on your face, the steady thump of your elevated heart rate, felt like a win. Comfortable silence overtook the room, and you were so still for so long that anyone else might’ve thought you had fallen asleep, but Matt knew better. You were thinking, contemplating every word that had been shouted, pleaded, and begged tonight. All the while, Matt prepared himself for the worst.

“The sun’s coming up.” You murmured.

“Yeah?” It was all he could muster. Everything hurt, and he never wanted this moment to end.

“Yeah.” You swept your fingertips over his cheeks, following the path of the sun as it draped itself across both of your bodies. 

Matt swallowed, opened his mouth to ask the dreaded question, and then closed it and swallowed again. The gentle caress of your fingers felt like a brand in his skin. Finally, in a thick voice he asked for the second time in a matter of hours, “Do you want me to go?”

“Oh, Matty.” You whispered, tears welling in your eyes, and Matt’s heart sank into the ground below him. He thought he could do this, but he couldn’t. He was just supposed to leave what you had built with him? After everything, he was just supposed to count his losses and move on? No fucking way. His breathing had picked up, and he was so focused on his pounding heart that he almost missed the rest of your sentence. “I never wanted you to go. I just wanted you to understand how lonely I’ve been without you. I’m upset with you, but I’ll always love you, and I’ll never be the one asking you to leave.”

Matt stopped breathing for a moment, soaking in the warm relief as it crashed through him. He didn’t have to go, and you loved him. You loved him. You loved him.

“Are you sure?” He forced himself to ask, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do.

You let out a small giggle and pressed your lips to his forehead before responding. “Of course I’m sure, Matty. But it has to change, okay? We can’t do this to each other again.”

Matt could hardly believe the words coming out of your mouth. He would do anything to keep you here, holding him, keeping him safe, loving him. Anything.

“I promise.” He murmured, grabbing at your face to pull it closer to his. “I love you.”

He pressed a million kisses into your face until you let out the melodic laugh that he felt he could get drunk on. He would do anything to hear that sound again, to be the one causing that sound. Anything.

-

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[mattitties]

can u plz do a fluff fanfic about the reader being scared of thunder and there's a rlly loud thunder storm so matt has to comfort her? thanks :)

thunder - matt sturniolo

“Really? I love when it storms. I think it’s so peaceful and I can just curl up and watch a movie or something,” Matt tells me. It’s our second date and we’re in the “biggest fears” category, and I told him about my extremely irrational, but very severe, fear of storms. 

“I get that,” I reply. “It’s really not that I’m just scared of storms, my best friend’s house was struck by lightning and caught on fire when we were in high school, so it kind of just set something off in my head. I know it sounds stupid because it didn’t happen to me, but it just started this crazy fear.”

“Oh wow, that’s terrifying. No, I totally get it, it’s not stupid.”

As I sit with my knees tucked to my chest on my bathroom floor, I think back to that conversation from three months ago. It’s the first storm I’ve experienced since I moved to LA, and I’m a mess. My windows are rattling with each clap of thunder, and all I can think about is my roommate at work right now. She enjoys storms, but my anxiety is getting the best of me thinking about everything that could go wrong. 

What if she can’t make it to her car? What if she gets in an accident on the way home? What if I’m stuck here for the rest of the night by myself?

She’s the only person I’ve got here in LA. I had Matt, but then I fucked it all up right on our two month anniversary.

I was so ridiculously busy with work and what felt like 800 pounds of shit piling up in my life that I completely forgot about our anniversary. I stood him up at the dinner that he made reservations for, and subsequently didn’t go to the hockey game that he was going to surprise me with; the hockey game which he got $300 tickets for. 

I apologized profusely and told him I would do anything to make it up to him, and he told me he was just really disappointed and needed some space before we talked again.

He called me a couple days later and I didn’t answer because I was so ashamed and embarrassed I couldn’t even face him. 

He texted me, I never replied. After three days of missed calls and texts, I guess he got the message because he stopped trying.

A week after that, I texted him apologizing for everything and explained my intentions behind my actions.

He didn’t answer. I don’t blame him.

That was three weeks ago, and it’s been radio silence on both ends. I guess we’re really done, but I really, really need him right now.

I turn on the shower to try to drown out some of the noise of the thunder, but nothing is working. I look at the weather app. It shows the same pattern until tomorrow morning.

I’m so fucked. I can barely breathe, my heart is beating out of my chest, and I just want to die. I’ve been texting my roommate to see when she’s returning but she’s busy at work and I’m trying not to annoy her any more than I know I have been, so now I’m just sitting in front of the shower, praying that everything would just stop.

Ten or so minutes pass, and I hear the front door open. Nobody ever comes to our apartment and my roommate always forgets her key, so I just leave it deadbolted when I’m home. I turn off the shower and call out her name to let her know I’m home, but she must not hear me. I pull myself together as much as possible and go out to the living room, but I don’t see the face I expect when I get there.

“Matt?” I whisper. I’m in such shock that nothing else comes out.

He’s absolutely drenched as he stands by the front door with a bottle of lemonade. I love lemonade.

“Hi,” he smiles shyly as he raises the hand holding the bottle. “I, uh, brought you something.”

I have no idea what to say. I opt for, “what are you doing here?”

“Well, I know how much you hate storms, so I thought you could use some company. Also… I just really miss you. And I would like to talk about us. We don’t have to do it tonight, obviously, but–”

“Yes. Yes, we can talk. Tomorrow? We can get breakfast? My treat,” I say, sounding pathetically desperate, but this is all I’ve wanted for the past three weeks.

“Okay,” he says as he takes off his shoes. “Do you happen to still have some of my sweatshirts and sweatpants? I’m kinda…” he says, motioning to the water dripping off of him.

“Yes! In my room, come.” He follows me to my room and I give him his clothes that I’ve worn an embarrassing amount of times since we broke up. “You didn’t have to come tonight,” I tell him. “This is really, just… I don’t deserve this after what I did.”

He waves a hand at me as if to say forget about it. “We’ll talk about that tomorrow. And I did have to come. Because I care about you, and I know you wouldn’t want to be alone tonight.”

I’m about to cry. I really don’t deserve this guy. 

“Let me go change, then we can crack open that lemonade and cuddle and watch something. Sound good?” he asks.

All I can do is nod in response as I watch him smile before he goes to the bathroom. I pour the lemonade into two glasses and set them on the bedside tables. 

When he comes back out and lays on my bed, I just stand there, wondering if he wants me to join him.

“Hello, what are you waiting for? Don’t leave me hangin!”

I smile and lay next to him, feeling more at home than ever when he pulls me into him.

[my-corneroftheworld]

Child without love

Summary: Namor finds a marine biologist with the powers to control water and deep knowledge of the sea and is intrigued.

Word count: 1,5k

Tags: Smut!!! (no minors allowed), "water-bender" reader x Namor after the events from Wakanda forever, possessive Namor, mutant reader, asphyxiation, war, violence, harsh language, the usage of y/n, Overstimulation, Edging, I dunno if it needs a dub-con tag but imma just leave it here just in case (consent is key guys), unprotected sex (wrap it before you plow it guys), afab reader

Ps. I hope you're thirsty cuz we got some spicy scenes coming up. Also, keep in mind this is my first smut ever so it won't be perfect. If you don't wanna read it you can skip it and read the next chapter with no issue. As usual, I accept any constructive criticisms in the comments and I hope you enjoy it. Thank you as usual for all the support.

Masterlist

Chapter 4

It’s been weeks since our last encounter. After concluding our agreement I started training with Namora and sometimes even with Attuma. I always found it easier to knock him off his feet compared to her. She was fast and agile and so was he but the size difference made him the easier target. My skills developed far more quickly than ever before with the intense training. Though I'd hate to admit it to Namora, constantly getting beat down by her must have forced my power to align with my intentions. She was a great but strict teacher and I would be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated by her. Izel was present during most of my training hours, translating orders and feedback. Zyanya however usually left when it started, I don’t blame her, it was long hours and since her bump started showing, I have accepted that I might not see her after a few weeks. She has spoken to me and Izel about baby names but is still unsure what to choose. I’ve grown fond of her and Izel, I would even go as far as considering them as friends though I don't if they think the same of me.

The air was cold against my skin whiles I walked through the cave's interior. Occasionally I would stumble upon a guard and they would give me a knowing nod. This became a routine whenever I was plagued by thoughts and as a result, couldn't sleep. Everything came at night or at least I thought of it as night. Time seems to move differently here. Without clocks or the sun, I can never be sure how many days it's been. I miss the sun, the moon, the sand but I am glad I have the sea. I miss my friends and I miss Adeoye's concerned face. He would flip if he saw where I was and what I was doing. I wonder if they're looking for me or maybe they don't know that I'm missing. I hope that when the time comes I can save them.

After walking aimlessly for a while I found myself near his cabin. This wasn't my intention but I did want to see him. I wanted to ask about that night but I don't think it would be wise. What would I say? Why did you try to kiss me? Why did you stop? Even if we had kissed, what would that make me the woman who got kidnapped by a perceived god, trained to be his weapon and his side piece? It would be ridiculous to think he was interested in anything else but my power.

For all, I know this could be a manipulative tactic to keep me in line. A tactic that I am far too willing to fall for. I moved closer to the small abode; stopping at the entrance. I hesitated for a moment. I reached out and knocked on the wood near the curtain. There was no response. Nervously I gave a little "Hello?". Still no answer. I peeked past the curtain and found the cabin to be empty. I slowly walked in. Where is he? Maybe he only comes here from time to time. I guess this cabin is a bit too cozy for the ruler of Talokan. I looked over his desk and saw brown stacks of paper with some kind of writing on them. I really need to learn Yucatec Mayan. I'm sure Izel would tutor if I asked. I strolled around the room until I saw the bed and instinctively decided to sit on it. It felt so illegal, so wrong but I miss him. I just sat there looking at the room until I heard voices outside the cabin, out of panic I decided to hide underneath the bed. Not long after I saw two pairs of feet and realized it was Namora talking to him. From what I could make out from the tone of their voices they were discussing something important. Honestly, I couldn't care less because if any of them find me here I will never be able to live it down this is beyond embarrassing not to mention I'm trespassing. When Namora left the room, Ku'kulkan decided to sit by the table. I heard him sigh and then say:

"You can come out now"

A part of me didn't want to, I'd rather bury myself under this bed than face him like this but I knew that he would drag me out if I didn't, so I did. When I got up I was greeted by the man I was so desperate to see, sitting widespread with a cheeky smile on his face. He was making fun of me.

"I must admit I was surprised to find you here. I thought that a woman of science would be smarter than to enter a home uninvited."

"I didn't mean to. I just..." I stopped myself before I could admit it. My heartbeat quickened. This was a bad idea. He stood up from his chair and walked up to me. "You just what?" He looked at me with want for what, I did not know. I could feel his breath on my skin and smelled the dried saltwater on his. "I just...wanted to..." He moved his face toward mine etching ever so closely "what's wrong? Do make you nervous y/n?" I nodded fearing my voice would crack if I spoke. I moved back, stumbling on the bed as he followed. "Do you want me?" He asked. I suddenly felt like everything was too much. The room was too warm, the air too thick and he was too far away whiles simultaneously being too close. But I wanted him closer. "yes," I said in a whisper, and with that our lips met.

It was slow at first, we moved in sync with each other, and his hand began to touch my waist moving up to my chest and I his. But then he became hungry for more, he discarded my dress and started kissing my neck harshly. I could help but moan egging him he started making his way down past my chest to my already-soaked core. He parted my legs wide, seeing everything. It made me twitch with anticipation. He pushed my legs back onto my folding me slightly like a sandwich. He licked softly, slowly, and then began to increase the pace. His necklaces would graze past my thighs whiles he ate me out with precision and grace. It did not take long before I felt my orgasm approaching. I was a moaning mess wet mess beneath him and he made sure to keep eye contact which only increased the ecstasy of my experience. "I'm close" I whispered like a plea. "Don't stop"

He gave no indication that he heard nor cared for what I was saying and right when I was about to reach my peaked I realized why. He stopped and I almost cried at the sudden withdrawal. I looked at him with confusion and after a second he started his advancements again. And this became his procedure for the next hour. The ebb and flow of pleasure and denial. I was begging and crying for a release, saying I would do anything he wanted but he gave no response other than small sushes and "you can take it". I couldn't think of anything other than his tongue lapping and sucking my clit. The way his hand held my thighs up and gripped at my skin. All I knew was him and everything I worried about and everything I was didn't matter. In this moment all that mattered was him.

Suddenly he stopped and kissed my cheek before taking off his shorts and neckpieces. He moved back on top of me, kissing me as he aligned his tip before slowly pushing it in. The stretch was cathartic. My overstimulated core felt everything to the max. Like everything else, he started off slow before increasing to the most delicious pace. It did not take much for me to etch closer and closer to the edge hoping that he would let me cum. I said his name over and over again praying for him fuck me harder. The room was filled with the filthy sound of our skin slapping against each other as he granted my every wish. In my haze, I could see how my juices were all over his mouth and neck, I could see the sweat on his forehead making his hair adhere to his skin. I could hear the grunts and thinness of his breath and I knew he was close too. He pounded relentlessly as I felt the familiar electricity of my climax flush over me. He continued without missing a beat for a few moments more, leaving me crying from overstimulation, before he finished inside of me. He kissed me again between beaten breaths before I let my exhaustion take over.

[yeowangies]

Praise

Part I | Part II

❧

PAIRING: Vegeta/Reader RATING: Explicit CONTENTS: Explicit sexual content, a little body worship, dom/sub undertones, praising. WORDCOUNT: 4343

Summary:

If you had to guess, since he hadn’t pushed you away, or made any moves that would indicate that he wanted something more, Vegeta seemed to be enjoying your touch. A touch that wasn’t meant to hurt him, or take anything from him.

Notes:

I've been writing this for MONTHS and I'm finally done and happy with this!!!!

This is the third chapter of Edge I and II. No one edges anyone in this chapter, and I took a super cool suggestion from a comment I got on AO3 💖 so this is a softer ending compared to the first two chapters!

Enjoy!

“I don’t understand this.” Vegeta said flatly.

“Just humor me.”

“What do you get out of this?”

“Do this for me, please? I promise we’ll both enjoy this.”

“I don’t see the point. I’m capable of cleaning myself.”

You rolled your eyes. You were losing patience and that wasn’t good considering the circumstances. You really did want him to enjoy this, but his overanalyzing mind was doubting your intentions, which was ridiculous because you’d never hurt him. Not even if you could.

But you figured you couldn’t really blame him after your ‘challenge’ last time. You hadn’t hurt him but you certainly put him through hell.

“This is my reward.” You said softly, looking Vegeta in the eye. “And a prince deserves this kind of treatment, don’t you agree?”

That seemed to have worked; his shoulders visibly relaxed, even if just a bit, and he dropped his arms to the side. When you reached for his hand, he let you hold it. 

You led him to your ensuite bathroom, and he quickly reached for his armor to take it off, but with a hand on his forearm, you stopped him. He eyed you curiously, until your hand slid down to tug at the garment. 

“Let me.”

Vegeta didn’t reply, only let go of his armor to pull his arms up his head to make it easy for you to remove the covering before dropping it on the bathroom floor. His bodysuit was next, and you rapidly pulled off his skintight top up and off him, throwing it to the floor, before kneeling down to get rid of his boots. He kicked them off easily before you could even touch them, so you quickly moved on to get rid of his pants, tugging them down with a little more force than you expected to use. You pulled down his boxers last, and you tried not to stare at him too much once he was fully undressed. 

Some fresh bruises adorned his skin, probably a result from the early training he had that morning but that would highly likely disappear by nighttime, along with his old scars that you knew by heart. It was unbelievable that someone could have a body like his, with such defined muscles and hardened skin. You’ve been together for a long time then, but it still sent heat down your abdomen every time you got to see him naked. And he was half hard already, which made it slightly difficult to not jump him right then and there. 

A smirk grew on his face as you quickly stood up with a pink tint on your cheeks. You did your best to ignore Vegeta as you got rid of your own clothes, taking off your shirt as fast as you could, but you could feel his eyes fixed on you as you got naked in front of him. When you dropped your jeans and underwear at last, he was still looking at you intensely, but he didn’t make any move towards you. 

You turned on the shower then, waiting a few seconds for the water to warm up, before wordlessly taking his hand again and leading him underneath the spray right in front of you. As you both got soaked, water making both of your hair lay flat down your neck, you reached for the shampoo bottle, pouring a generous amount on your hand before reaching for his hair. Vegeta looked quite funny with his hair down, unlike his natural flame-like shape, but you only smiled as your fingers worked into his hair. His gaze was still on you, looking at you almost intrigued, until you started massaging his scalp. He leaned into your touch, closing his eyes. It wasn’t in your mind to tease him, but as you kept pressing your fingertips onto his skin, a quiet moan left his lips. 

Touching Vegeta with ulterior motives wasn’t what you planned (yet), so you worked the shampoo quickly before rinsing it off carefully, trying not to tug too hard. Running your fingers through his hair, admiring how soft it felt in that moment compared to how coarse it normally was, you checked to see if all the shampoo was gone before moving on.

You reached for the soap and began working to clean his skin. You started with his shoulders, delicately spreading the foam, tracing every little scar with your fingertips as you worked your way down. His gaze was once again on you, but when you looked at him briefly, it had softened considerably since minutes ago; it was comforting. You were mindful when you skimmed over certain bruises, and soon you dropped to your knees to run the soap over his legs. 

Vegeta moved slightly to better accommodate you, and you tried your best to ignore his half-hard cock; you didn’t want to cross any unspoken boundary. Your intention at the moment was to take care of him. It probably wasn’t what he was expecting, but he rarely ever let you ‘pamper’ him. He liked being in control, and you enjoyed it when he would make you submit to him, but this was entirely different; this situation wasn’t meant to be sexual, just a small gesture to let him know how much you care about him and how much you appreciate him. It would be something difficult to put into words, and difficult for him to hear them as well, but you could show him how you felt like this, tracing your fingers over his skin, thoroughly cleaning his body, without expecting anything else. 

And if you had to guess, since he hadn’t pushed you away, or made any moves that would indicate that he wanted something more, Vegeta seemed to be enjoying your touch. A touch that wasn’t meant to hurt him, or take anything from him. 

As you stood back up, having cleansed almost every corner of him completely, you moved to turn off the shower, but to your surprise, he caught your wrist. You blinked at him as he reached for the shampoo bottle before gently turning you around. When you felt his fingers working into your hair, the thought of mentioning to him that he absolutely did not have to do that crossed your mind. After all, you were doing it for him. 

You decided against it when he started massaging your scalp. It felt good, and the thought of Vegeta doing something like this for you, on his own free will, made your heart flutter. He was humbling himself; you had mentioned it before to convince him, he was a prince, and the prince of a proud warrior race at that. But he was washing your hair at the moment, delicately running his fingers through it to rinse the shampoo out. The gesture did not slip past you. 

The water was still warm enough to make the blush on your cheeks appear natural, and you were thankful for that when he turned you back around to face him. Vegeta pushed your hair over your shoulders and tucked some of the loose strands behind your ear before he reached for the soap to start working on your shoulders, following the same path you had marked on his body. You really had to fight the urge to gape at him. He had been gentle with you before, and it had left your mouth hanging open even then. But this felt so much different. 

It was funny when you noticed how red the tip of his ears were when he ran his hands over your breasts, you couldn’t control the small smile from your lips. Your heart jumped in your chest when he kneeled down, running the soap and spreading the foam over your thighs. You felt the need to tell him he didn’t have to do that, but when had Vegeta ever done something he didn’t want to? At least since he’s been on Earth; you can probably count those times with just one hand. You had to suppress any noise coming from your lips when his hands ran down one of your calves. This was a moment you wanted to engrave in your memory, and you didn’t dare to look away. 

You couldn’t help the smile on your face when he stood up in front of you with a very faint pink dust on his cheeks. That wasn’t because of the water, and you knew it. It caught you off guard to notice what was then an intense erection he was sporting. You didn’t stare at it, and you didn’t mention it either, and he did the same. But you felt a little pleased with yourself; after all, he got like that after touching your body all over. 

Vegeta turned off the shower as you reached for the towels, wrapping one around his body to help him dry off before taking your own towel. He stepped out of the shower first, wordlessly offering you his hand to help you get out as well, and you accepted it happily. A comfortable silence lingered in, and it followed you both onto the bedroom, Vegeta sitting down on the bed, with the towel wrapped around his waist, awaiting whatever it was that you had planned. Taking your place by his side, you sat down, resting your chin on his shoulder.

“That was nice, was it not?” You ask him playfully.

He remained quiet, and you knew it was because he did enjoy showering with you. 

“What now?” Vegeta asked, turning his head to look at you.

Offering him a sweet smile, you slowly unwrapped the towel from your body, dropping it onto the floor. He blushed slightly at the sight of your nudity, you had to contain your grin. You moved your hand to take off his towel, his erect cock practically bouncing free once you discarded it. 

You were aware of his affection for you, even if he didn’t show it conventionally, but he had maintained his enthusiasm for a while, and you hadn’t even kissed yet. 

Vegeta kept his eyes fixed on your face, anticipating your next move. He was still acting surprisingly docile, but you assume it was because of the relaxing shower. You glanced back at him, reveling in the gleam of his stare before leaning in to kiss him. Cupping his cheek, you pressed your lips softly to his, and he kissed you back with the same care. 

“Vegeta,” You trailed your lips down his jaw, in time with your hand that was carefully traveling lower. “You’re really handsome, you know that?”

His body tensed underneath your fingertips, but he didn't say anything. Without even looking, you knew he must be blushing. You skimmed over one of his nipples before your hand traced his abs slowly down to his navel, stopping just above the base of his cock. 

“Your body is to die for.” You whispered, pressing kisses on his neck.

“Is this how it’s going to be?” Vegeta asked, placing his arm around your shoulder as you turned your head to look at him. “You’re going to tease me the entire time?”

“I’m not teasing you, it’s the truth.”

You smiled genuinely at him, just as you wrapped your hand around the base of his dick. His lips parted slightly when you began to slowly stroke him. You watched his reactions carefully, taking in the expressions he made as you pleasured him; his head lolled back when you rub the slit with your thumb, and small, quiet grunts escaped his lips when you twisted your hand. 

“I adore watching you.” You told him, steadily speeding up your moves. 

This time, you could see the faint dust of pink on his cheeks. It was still adorable how easily embarrassed he could be in intimate situations.

Vegeta pushed you closer, kissing your lips rather forcefully, intertwining his tongue with yours. Your hand kept on pumping him, building up the pace, until you noticed precum dripping from the tip. He grunted when you released him, but you smiled reassuringly as you pulled away from his hold, sinking down to your knees in front of him.

Locking your eyes with his, you grabbed a hold of his cock, keeping it in place as you dragged your tongue from the base to the tip. He groaned, his hips bucking in when you wrapped your lips around the head. 

“Fuck…” Vegeta cursed when you swirled your tongue around. 

When you started bobbing your head up and down, taking more of him, you had to remind yourself you were doing this for him. The noises spilling from his lips made the skin between your legs tingle with anticipation, but this wasn’t about you, not yet at least. You had your mind set on showing him how much you appreciated him and how attracted you were to him. You obviously couldn’t compliment him with your mouth full, but the gesture was worth more than a thousand words. 

Humming around him, you earnestly sucked his cock, running your tongue on the underside as you pulled back before swallowing him down again, and soon the tip was grazing the back of your throat. One of his hands reached for your head, tangling his fingers with your hair and lightly tugging at it every time his dick was fully inside. 

Vegeta was close to an orgasm, his groans growing louder, and the hold he had of your hair getting tighter. His hips jerked up with every slide of your lips, seeking more friction, so you tried moving your head back and forth faster, your mind set on making him come soon, feeling the muscles in his abdomen tensing more often. 

It didn’t take long for him to reach his peak, suddenly thrusting in so desperately you practically choked. His cock twitched, and he came with a growl, filling your mouth with cum, leaving you no other choice but to swallow, and you did so gladly. Riding out his climax, his hips slowed down his moves gradually, until he finally pulled out, his hand on your head letting go. 

You looked up at Vegeta as you tried to catch your breath; he was panting, face flushed, and you adored him. You offered him a small smile, tracing your hands up his thighs, pressing small kisses to his stomach before standing up. He looked at you through hooded lids, with a gleam that you could only describe as enamored. You had rarely seen such a look in his eyes, and you felt like your heart might beat out of your chest. 

Vegeta pulled you close just as you moved to straddle his legs and sit on his lap. Leaning in to meet your lips with his, you kissed him nice and slow, wrapping your arms around his neck as he pressed his lips against yours with more desperation. You would have normally followed his lead, but you wanted to take your time; after all, technically you were the one calling the shots then. You kept your pace, gently tangling your tongue with his as you ran one of your hands through his hair, caressing his scalp with your fingers. He sighed contently against your lips as he tightened his hands on your waist.

It didn’t surprise you when you felt one hand in between your legs, but it still made you gasp when his fingers traced your entrance, so soft it was almost teasing. You were already wet from sucking his cock, and when he pressed one digit inside you, a sinfully wet sound invaded your ears as he started carefully pumping in and out of you. You moaned into his mouth, holding tighter onto his shoulders as he continued moving his finger, getting you ready for something bigger. 

Your toes curled when Vegeta added a second digit, and you broke the kiss, gasping at the intrusion as his moves got faster. He buried his mouth on your neck, licking and biting just as he pressed inside you just right, making you feel as if electricity was running through your veins. 

“Vegeta,” You whimpered shakily, earning a quiet chuckle from him. A yelp escaped you when he pressed his thumb against your clit. You took a moment to gather your thoughts, and spoke again. “I-I’m ready… Stop teasing me…”

“Weren’t you teasing me just a minute ago?” Vegeta asked in an obviously mocking tone, you could even feel his smirk against your skin as he traced his lips up your neck.

“I wasn’t… Everything I said was all true…” You moaned loudly again when he picked up the pace of his fingers, curling them inside you and grazing a sensitive spot that made your legs weak. “Please, Vegeta, I want you…”

Taking pity on you, Vegeta retracted his hand from between your legs, pulling away from your neck as he popped his fingers into his mouth, sucking on your slick. You blushed instantly at the sight, and he looked at you, amused. 

The next thing you know was that he had thrown you on the bed, making you bounce, before crawling over your body. It took you a couple of seconds until you realized that wasn't the position you wanted. You put your hands on his shoulders, trying to stop him, and he looked down at you with a frown. He obeyed to your surprise, when you pushed him to make him lay back on the mattress. 

“This is my reward, isn’t it?” You smirked, straddling his hips.

Vegeta looked at you with annoyance, but he complied. It must have killed him to not have the upper hand, but you know he would keep his word and let you do as you pleased. Leaning down and kissing his lips softly, you ran your hands over his shoulders, tracing his scars when you trailed your fingers down his chest and abdomen.

This was all for him. He had to know how attractive he was, and how much you adored him. 

Breaking off the kiss as you wrapped your hand around his erection, you eyed his expression carefully as you shifted to position yourself better, running the tip over your entrance.

“I wasn’t teasing you before, you’re really gorgeous, Vegeta.”

Sinking down in one swift move, his cock was sheathed inside you in an instant. Vegeta closed his eyes tightly, growling as his fingers dug into your skin. The intrusion was a bit uncomfortable at first, no matter that he had prepared you before; the stretch was delicious however, and you craved it more and more. 

As you supported your weight with your hands on his shoulders and your hips started to grind, you couldn’t help the whines leaving your lips. Your mind was already in a haze, heat tightly and steadily growing in your belly since he’d had his fingers on you, and then feeling his impressive dick touch every place inside you just right helped to build up your desire even more. His digits kept prodding your sides with a firm hold as he tried not to buck upwards. This was still your show after all.

“Oh, Vegeta,” You moaned, your eyes never leaving his face as you kept rocking against him. “You’re amazing, you fill me up perfectly.”

You witnessed his face glowing red as you complimented him, and couldn’t help but smile. 

“You’re so good. Your cock feels so good.” You purred sensually, punctuating each word with a swing of your hips. 

The growl came rumbling deep from his chest this time, and his hold on your hips got tighter, making you wince, surely leaving bruises that you’d admire tomorrow. 

“Stop messing with me, woman!” Vegeta scolded you, keeping you firmly in place as he suddenly started roughly thrusting upwards, making you yelp. “Who do you think you’re talking to, using such filthy words?”

You tried to hold onto his shoulders as strongly as you could so you wouldn’t be knocked off balance by his sudden onslaught; it was difficult to do when his cock kept hitting inside you so wonderfully hard. You mewled over and over, trying to somehow keep the plan you had in mind afloat, even through all the intense pleasure you were being given at the moment. You looked at Vegeta through hooded lids, locking eyes again, finding his completely clouded by lust. 

“You like it when I do that, don’t you? When I praise you?” You showed him a small mischievous smile. “You don’t have to be ashamed.”

“I am not ashamed.” Vegeta scoffed, his face still sporting a faint red hue.

You leaned down to kiss him, savoring his mouth and stroking his cheek with one hand. Vegeta groaned against your lips, momentarily slowing down the moves of his hips but still holding tightly onto you, sliding his arms around your waist to keep you as close as possible, pressing your chest against his. 

Even through all the roughness he usually had around all his edges, he still managed to have small gestures that warmed your heart. 

“It’s only the two of us here.” You whispered into the kiss, whimpering when his hips snapped against yours. “And I only do this with you…”

His hand on your jaw took you off guard, making you gasp. You flushed instantly; it was such an alluring gesture, keeping your face in place while he leered at you with dark eyes, like he wanted to devour you whole.

“You’re only this lewd with me.” He said with a gruff voice so erotic it made you moan. 

“Only with you.” You whimpered, trying to keep your eyes open and fixed on his while Vegeta kept thrusting into you. “Only for you, my prince.”

Vegeta groaned, picking up the pace, and your eyes rolled back into your head. Your entire body was tense, the heat in your abdomen so close to snapping as the pleasure kept building up. 

You weren’t lying to him at all when you praised him, Vegeta was truly the only man who ever made you feel this insane amount of fulfillment. You knew he took it as a personal goal to make you reach your peak hard and ardently, and he delivered every single time, even if he tortured you a bit before getting there. 

“Vegeta, I was, ah-” A particularly harsh thrust threw you off balance, making your legs twitch. “I was made for you… And you were made for me-Fuck!”

Vegeta chuckled wickedly as you clung to him, trying to move your hips and meet his moves, but you found it impossible to do so. 

The unforgiven pace Vegeta had set kept growing, his hips slamming into yours, the wet sound of skin slapping against skin reaching your ears and adding to your arousal. Your mind was in a haze, and you could only think about his body, his lips, his cock. 

Vegeta, Vegeta, Vegeta.

Shuddering uncontrollably, you saw stars behind your lids as your orgasm took over, moaning loudly while Vegeta still had a hold of your face, watching your expression as you came undone. Jolts of pleasure traveled through your veins, making you vibrate as he kept ramming into you, prolonging the state of bliss you were in.

As you slowly rode out your orgasm, Vegeta gripped tightly onto your hips with both of his hands, grunting as his pace turned uneven, seeking his own release. You tried to keep your eyes open and watch him get to the edge, but his cock roughly sliding in and out of you without a pause after you had reached your peak was making it tough; you couldn’t stop shivering with aftershocks, even when you wanted nothing but to collapse on top of him. 

Slamming his hips violently, Vegeta buried his cock deep inside you when he came, filling you up to the brim with cum, making you gasp at the sensation. He growled, thrusting into you a couple of times until he was completely spent, letting go of your hips to hold onto your behind instead. 

Watching his brows furrowed, and his mouth parted slightly whenever he orgasmed was always insanely attractive. 

You hummed contently as you collapsed on top of him, nuzzling his neck as you tried to catch your breath. Vegeta was panting underneath you, his hands still curling on your butt and pressing you close. His small displays of affections were during brief moments like those, as he slowly skimmed one hand upwards, moving his fingers tenderly over your skin. You wondered if he was even conscious about them, because they certainly made you melt inside him whenever he did that. 

Planting a sweet kiss on his jaw, Vegeta turned to look at you curiously. 

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” You asked him, trying not to revel too much in how well your plan turned out. 

He remained quiet, like he always did when you were right. You rolled your eyes, burying your nose in his neck, taking in his scent, mixed in with shampoo and the smell of sweat and sex. 

“Compared to what you put me through sometimes, this was nice.”

“You talk too much.” Vegeta commented, and you frowned.

“But I haven’t even said much yet.” You looked at him, finding a smirk on his lips, and you arched an eyebrow. “What?”

Sometimes his silence annoyed you, especially when he ignored your questions. You huffed, knowing well he had enjoyed what you did for him that day. You wanted him to admit it somehow, so you pressed on. He was expecting you to keep talking, anyway.

“What do you think about doing this again some other time?”

“…Occasionally.”

“So, does that mean you enjoyed it?” You smiled against the skin of his neck. 

“It was… pleasant.”

“So, yes? It was how a prince should be treated, after all.” 

Vegeta grunted. You know you must have stroked his already over inflated ego with that comment.

“I guess we both won, in the end.”

When he pinched your behind, you yelped, flinching in surprise. 

“You’re full of yourself, woman.”

“Look who’s talking.”

[starpirateee]

hi! i'd love to see a continuation of the isekai spies au or the curt joins chimera au. love your work!! ❤️ 💜 💙

I will gladly give you a continuation of the spies isekai, that was a Lot of fun! Sorry this took such a long time to get out, btw, but in the meantime I was asked this:

So I'm going to cater for both, if that's alright!

The time travel idea stuck fast in Curt's mind. It sounded ridiculous on all fronts, but it was the only Hong that made sense. It seemed like they were in the wrong place, though they didn't seem to stand out any.

The real question was how they'd done it. How they'd managed to go from having it out for each other in the middle of the weapons museum, to being here, where it was apparently fine to be ambiguously flirting with the men at the bar.

For now, the idea of how they'd gotten there wasn't the most important point of the moment. He was drinking with the second man to ever try and pick him up, and all things considered, he was having a pretty good time.

For all intents and purposes, Ted was great. Curt just wished that this wasn't a one time thing— that maybe, he'd have another chance to be himself and to be a little free before he and Owen had to find a way back to where they'd come from.

"Does this not, I dunno, bother you at all?" He asked, leaning against the bar and ordering another round.

"What?"

"This. Seeing someone once, talking like this, and then never seeing em again?" It had never bothered him before, but his dealings were strictly professional and never meant anything.

Ted raised an eyebrow. "You think I'd have asked you out if I didn't think you'd be a one off? You're not the first, man, and I'm pretty sure you won't be the last..."

Curt frowned, his brow creasing as he took a sip of his drink. Ted noticed his expression and shot him an amused glance. "What? That bother you?"

"More than it does you, apparently... It just feels— weird..."

"Oh, you're the type who ain't shy for commitment... You with someone?"

Curt hesitated. In the most literal sense of the word, he was with someone. He'd arrived with Owen, and he was still here. But in that specific sense that Ted was asking about, he wasn't with Owen anymore. Hadn't been for years...

"No, but I was..."

"How long?"

"Five and a half years... Something like that."

"Jeez, not bad..." if he had to guess, he'd have said Ted genuinely looked impressed. He'd leaned forwards a little, and his eyes had went wide. "Special type?"

"Yeah, for ages he was the only one." And it was both dangerous and a comfort to remember Owen as he used to be. All those late nights on the floors of cheap motel rooms, all the uttered words they'd only ever whisper to each other... That was sacred. "But, y'know, those things aren't meant to last."

Ted held his glass out in toast to that. "Hear that, pal. What was his name?"

"Owen."

"Ehh, fuck Owen." Ted had uttered that so confidently that Curt almost choked on the drink he was taking. He laughed, taken completely off guard, and even Ted chuckled. "No, I'm serious! You want commitment outta life, I'm sure you won't have any trouble in finding someone, nice guy like yourself."

"... Thanks," Curt smiled as he felt his face heat up, ready to blame it on the heat of the room. "What about you?"

Ted huffed a breath of laughter. "Yeah, that kinda life's not on the cards for me. Got myself a bit of a reputation, y'know?"

The conversation spanned for a while. Curt really started to let himself go, but kept himself in that balance of opening up and revealing more than necessary, out of a force of habit. Eventually, he and Ted parted ways— Curt was implicitly told that it should feel amazing to walk off a conversation with a guy's personal phone number— and he immediately found Owen again. After all, there was a lot to catch up on. Owen was a familiar face in a sea of strangers, and he'd been the one to propose that they stay by each others' sides.

Needless to say, Owen didn't look impressed when Curt found him. It wasn't like he'd caught any of the conversation, but it had been one hell of one, and that desperation was not a facade that was easy to keep hold of. Trying to act like he was upset about Curt supposedly "standing him up" was way too beyond him.

He had finished Curt's pint too. Frankly, he needed it. And Curt didn't look too offended, so it was no more than terrible American beer under the bridge. The two of them left the bar after, not a word between them until they were a good distance from the premises. Then he turned to look at Curt, half curious and half bitter. "So, how was he?"

Part of him genuinely wanted to know what that kinda of freedom felt like. What it was like to get that close in a room full of people who didn't think twice. The other part of him had seen past all that and just hoped that leaving him hanging for all that time was worth it.

Curt's eyebrows quirked. "Ted? He was great. Real nice guy. Why? That bother you or something?" He shoved his hand in his pocket, feeling the coaster on which Ted had written his number. Quite the unorthodox method, he had to admit, by quite charming all the same.

"Bother me? What do you think I am, twelve years old?"

"Jealous that I could pull before you?"

Yes. Partially. Those words would never leave him, but he thought it nonetheless. "Sod off, my god, you're a child."

Curt smirked. "Anyway, since that's clearly getting to you, I— uh, got what you wanted."

"What, you found out where we are?"

"Yeah. We're on some island in lake Michigan. Hatchetfield." He felt himself absently crease the corner of the coaster, and removed his hand from his pocket quickly.

Owen hummed. "We weren't in the states when we started this, we were in the middle of fucking Europe. How the hell did this happen?"

"That's the part I don't know. Y'see, I think we're gonna have to check the date, too."

"Why's that?"

"Ted called my Bel Air "vintage"."

"Hold on, what?" Owen stopped in his tracks and thought that over. "But you've had that thing from new, and that was only a few years ago..." His eyes went wide. "Oh lord, we have to find a newspaper."

Luckily, that wasn't a hard thing to acquire. Owen dipped into one corner store, and came out with a newspaper folded under his arm. He and Curt opened it together, and his eyes immediately landed on the topmost header.

"Oh my god..."

Judging by that reaction, Curt had seen it too. They exchanged a glance, letting their shock speak for itself, and then glanced back at the paper to make sure they were seeing the same thing.

"Owen, am I reading that right?"

"I think you are, Curt. I.... Think you are." 1962 was no more. Owen had to put his jealousy aside for a moment, because he realised that things were truer than he thought when he said Curt was the only person he had as a cornerstone.

The two of them would have to put their differences aside too, even for a little while, because the truth of the matter was plain. Curt's car was vintage. Men must be allowed to get with other men. Constant economical changes meant it was probably normal for beer to be that price.

The date was June 7th, 2019.

The two of them were stranded in the States, some near sixty years from the time they knew.

[yuurei20]

Jack Info Compilation Part 5: Leona (pt4)

Jack will occasionally bad-mouth Leona behind his back, comparing him unfavorably to Riddle by calling him a coward, “scared of puttin’ in some effort to get ahead,” “lazy” and “irritable.”

But he also has a line of, "If other dorms run their mouths, I'll deal with 'em! I won't make you look bad, Leona!"

There is also an incident during Port Fest where a visitor accuses first Ruggie, then Jack himself of stealing his wallet.

Jack does not react until the man accuses Leona, at which point he becomes defensive and Leona tells him to put away his fangs.

Jack also compliments Leona, saying he “may play dirty, but he’s a brilliant playmaker” and expressing gratitude for a birthday present of roast beef.

During Vargas Camp Leona teaches a group of students about how to find magestones and Deuce is openly impressed saying that Leona is amazing.

Jack is reluctant to agree, saying he was surprised that Leona volunteered the information and walked them through it as he didn’t think Leona “had it in him.”

In the end Jack agrees and says, “I can definitely look up to a guy like Leona!”

Jack refuses to allow Vil to blame his slovenly appearance on Leona and tries to stop Azul from charging Leona for the cleaning expenses resulting from a bottle that he breaks in the school store.

Leona volunteers Jack for Fairy Gala IF and Jack initially refuses, telling Leona that it is ridiculous that he thinks he can volunteer him for an important job without asking first.

Leona explains, “What we need is someone who can lead the pack. Someone with solid judgement and initiative. I figured you had both of those things…There are a lotta students in Savanaclaw, but I picked YOU…oh well, I guess I was wrong. I’ll have to find some other freshmen. Sorry for expectin’ more out of you.”

Jack responds, “You say this is something only I can do? Then I’ll make sure it gets done!”

Leona is unimpressed when Jack compromises the plan by sneezing.

At the end of the event Jack says that “Leona’ll never let me hear the end of this. He might not even let me into Savanaclaw right now…and even if he doesn’t say anything, I’m so ashamed of myself that I’m not gonna be able to look him in the eye.”

In book 6 Leona says, “Jack’s pretty self-aware…he can get a little prideful, but he knows he’s not boss material yet. So he always follows the boss’ orders when push comes to shove. He’s a good little pupper like that.”

This is corroborated by Ace who says, “(Jack’s) whole above-it-all schtick can be obnoxious. But he turns into a puppy dog around stronger guys, so he’s actually pretty easy to deal with.”

When Jack refuses to listen to Rook's advice during Port Fest, Rook advises him to speak to someone whom he deeply respects and admires. Jack goes to Leona.

Leona is less than pleased to learn that the source of the Port Fest drama all started with Ruggie and Jack.

Jack insists that the concert he is to put on (despite not being able to play an instrument) is non-negotiable and Leona encourages him to think outside the box instead of blindly following Crowley's orders.

Jack asks what he is supposed to do and Leona tells him to ask himself what he is actually trying to achieve.

Ruggie and Jack think on Leona's advice, and the issue becomes less so a question of how to hold an impressive show for the event and more so how to not disappoint Leona.

In the end Jack is able to come up with an idea for the show, saying that it is all thanks to Leona (Leona replies that he didn't do anything at all).

After the show Leona compliments Jack on his performance, leaving Jack momentarily speechless.

[marichive]

𝐓 𝐎 𝐗 𝐈 𝐂 𝐈 𝐓 𝐀

A compilation of things a muse of mine has said. Ranges from 100% seriousness to absolute chaos (but mostly chaos). Change pronouns / etc. when sending as needed.

tw for drinking/alcohol mentions, suggestive content, violence mentions, lots of swearing / insults, other non-PG shenanigans.

❝ Get the heart eyes away from me. ❞

❝ I can't help it, I'm just too hot. ❞

❝ Was I supposed to NOT be mean? ❞

❝ I am what the boomers like to call a "delinquent". ❞

❝ Just think before you say anything, "would I say this to [name] for fun", and if the answer is yes, do not say that shit to her. ❞

❝ Aw, did that hurt your little feelings? ❞

❝ Oh dear god, what torture are you going to put me through now? ❞

❝ Words cannot express how much I hate the words that I just read with my own two eyes. ❞

❝ Call me [nickname] again and I'll break your face. ❞

❝ If you turn that into a sex joke I swear to god — ❞

❝ Cursed. Horrible. Disappointing. ❞

❝ Adorable that you think you're worth the effort. ❞

❝ The only kink here is gonna be the one in your fucking spine. ❞

❝ One, I'm not your babe. Two, I will fucking strangle you. ❞

❝ Do you have a death wish or something? ❞

❝ Feel like doing something ridiculous? ❞

❝ I feel like this is what happens before someone walks into an intervention. ❞

❝ My entire support system is having a crisis right now. ❞

❝ I'm just not ready to deal with it right now. ❞

❝ I'm not gonna try to fix things and get myself in another fight as a consequence. ❞

❝ I fucked up and kinda shut down before I could. ❞

❝ I don't know how to make this right. ❞

❝ Maybe he's better off without me. ❞

❝ You went right back to blaming me for everything the first chance you got. ❞

❝ I imagine it's hard for you to feel sorry for anyone at all. ❞

❝ I can't catch a fucking break. ❞

❝ I actually liked the idea that we could maybe be friends and move past everything, but you're always going to think the worst of me. ❞

❝ I guess I did ruin everything, didn't I? ❞

❝ I needed to win to prove to myself that I could do it. ❞

❝ No no, this one is actually a good idea! ❞

❝ See, this is why you're perfect for each other. ❞

❝ Maybe he'll be more receptive to it if you're there. Or at least less hostile about it. ❞

❝ I think you're probably the only person who could get through to him on this. ❞

❝ I've had to do a lot of things I didn't want to do to try to get by. I get what that's like. ❞

❝ You're not a snack, you're a whole damn meal. Don't be humble. ❞

❝ Soooo I might have done something. ❞

❝ He's too much of a petty bitch for that. ❞

❝ I'm going to terrorize him. ❞

❝ Guess I better get the bullying out of my system before then. ❞

❝ Wow, that's like, third base. ❞

❝ Hold my [object] while I kick ass for you. ❞

❝ You're the cutest duck, though. ❞

❝ That's the option with the least violence. ❞

❝ You're probably the only person I trust that much. ❞

❝ Okay that was cute, you can have a kiss for that one. ❞

❝ Um, that's me. I'm the Precious here. ❞

❝ I'm a scam of a person. ❞

❝ Don't worry, I'm sure all her murder energy is focused on [name]. ❞

❝ Want me to make mean faces at them? ❞

❝ There is something and I need you for impulse control. Or you can enable me, that's cool too. ❞

❝ Yeah but like, we're little shits by choice. He's a little shit out of hatred or spite or whatever the fuck fuels him to act like this. ❞

❝ I'm pretty sure my brain stopped working several times. ❞

❝ It's scandalous! I mean we're just SO wholesome and innocent. ❞

❝ People might start to think we're in love or something. ❞

❝ Getting kicked out of [location] sounds fun. ❞

❝ They are looking at me with their EYES. ❞

❝ . . . I've never seen that. ❞

❝ The trauma is half the fun. I'm just melodramatic. ❞

❝ Don't tell me how to breathe, mouth breather. ❞

❝ Why were you listening you fucking creature !? ❞

❝ Dude go to fucking therapy, I'm not even kidding. ❞

❝ I need to bleach my brain. ❞

❝ It was for safety purposes you nasty bastard! ❞

❝ Dishonor on you, gambling satan! ❞

❝ I don't know how you're still alive. ❞

❝ You call me the antichrist and accuse me of being pregnant at least three times per month. He gives me hugs and pizza. ❞

❝ No you're right, I set my expectations too high. ❞

❝ Why did you bet on THIS of all things oh my fucking god??? ❞

❝ Everyone's always like "[name] you have daddy issues" but I have no dad to have issues with so??? ❞

❝ I will beat you to death with your own limbs. ❞

❝ You Gary Busey lookin' bitch. ❞

❝ We have to watch you guys make bedroom eyes at each other all the time, we just want it to stop. ❞

❝ You use my horny behavior against me, it's only fair I get to use yours against you. ❞

❝ I have no sense of self preservation. It's why I get into so many fights. ❞

❝ Glad to know you approve of horrendously spiteful revenge tactics. ❞

❝ I may talk shit but I do worry about you. ❞

❝ Oh, I'm completely vile. I'm well aware. ❞

❝ At least I don't look like I got hit by a school bus because the driver thought you were a threat to the children on board. ❞

❝ Why are you the way that you are? I hate so much about the things you choose to be. ❞

❝ Well maybe you should, I don't know, talk to him about his trauma before you give him sex advice? Seems a bit out of order. ❞

❝ [name], don't touch my baby boy! ❞

❝ Did he drop kick my son !? ❞

❝ You told me you dropped [name/object] down the stairs, I do not trust you. ❞

❝ Say sike right now !! ❞

❝ Is this actually happening?? Am I having an aneurysm???? ❞

❝ I feel like this was a big accomplishment, we came out of this with no attempted murder. So it's a win. ❞

❝ Maybe we DO have the power of god and anime on our side. ❞

❝ I don't know if I trust you two drinking around each other. ❞

❝ I said behave oh my fucking god. ❞

❝ Do it for Voltron! ❞

❝ You like [food/brand/name], you clearly have no taste. ❞

❝ No breaking of the sacred pinky oath! ❞

❝ That was so stupid, but thanks for the attempted save. ❞

❝ I'm gonna hit you in the dick with a car while listening to the Power Rangers theme song, and I'm gonna have so much fun doing it, dickhead. ❞

❝ The rules are reasonable. The problem is that I am unreasonable and I know I will break them. ❞

[mycupofteafanzine]

My Cup of Tea contributor announcement: part 2!

We are excited to share our list of writers and cosplayers in the zine! You can also find our artists here. See below the cut for links to their socials and their answers to the question: Why do you love Martin?

Writers

milkteamoon | tumblr Ao3

I really love how contradictorily human he is! He's a little guy. He's kind of a bitch. He wants so badly to be the sensitive artist type and yet will encourage murder against those whom he perceives to have wronged him at the drop of a hat. He's incredibly kissable and should be kissed by anyone and everyone, I think, for his health.

crescenttwins | tumblr carrd

Martin is this lovely exploration of a person who is deeply affected by trauma but still ends up able to be kind at the end of it.

Morning Softness | tumblr

He’s just such a great complex character. He does his absolute best in a job he’s not at all qualified for, determined to go above and beyond so no one will complain about his work ethic, even when the demands placed on him are ridiculous or dangerous. He’s anxious but he’s also brave and stubborn. He’s jealous and bitter and petty and sarcastic. He’s kind and optimistic and gentle. He’s a poet. He’s incredibly practical, and is better at showing care to others through his actions than his words. He holds onto guilt because he’s convinced it helps him do better. He tries so hard to be needed because he thinks it’s the only way anyone would want him, and he feels like it would be manipulative of him to expect or even want anything in return. He makes an effort to care about others and help in any way he can, even though it is an effort, even when it isn’t returned.

Pine | tumblr

In "Big Picture," Martin says to Simon Fairchild "I think our experience of the universe has value. Even if it disappears forever." I think it may be the most hopeful statement in TMA (not that it has a great deal of competition!), and I thought about it a lot while season five was airing. (And I love, too, how Martin may have been a hypocrite about it, unwilling to let the universe disappear.)

Saint | tumblr Ao3

Golly gee what a question. I guess the biggest thing is I love how full of seemingly diametrically-opposed contradictions he is: his genuine sweetness and kindness vs his very serious desire to see the violent death of people he's perceived to have wronged him, his dorky poetry vs the fact that he's the kind of person to use the word "ontological" in casual conversation, his capacity for love and compassion vs his proclivity for isolation. Also he has the best voice.

Cosplayers

Shashamisen | tiktok

He hit me as the most human-like character to me. Blame it on the beautiful voice acting or the discreet complexity of how his character was written, but I started loving him for how much I related, and stayed for the cutest awkward love I've ever seen.

Bow | insta tiktok

The obvious reason is that I see so much of my current, but especially younger, self in him, but I also love him because to me, he is the character in TMA who goes through the most growth and comes into himself. I love seeing his journey of self discovery and emotional strength.

Kaedan | tiktok

He became a comfort character immediately. His patience, his sweet nature, the way he stutters when he's flustered (just like me,) it all felt like a cool breeze in the fire that is the horror that is TMA. His life and traumas mirror my own, and the way he comes out of it with kindness and an unexpected fierceness is amazing to me. The way he underhanded Elias AND Peter impresses me constantly.

Alex | tumblr tiktok

He is my husband and I adore him.

Slush/Hailey | insta tiktok tumblr twitter

To me, he is the heart of The Magnus Archives! Martin is always showing his most human side to those around him and never lets the horrors around him stop him from being a good person. Like so many on this zine, I see a lot of myself in Martin Blackwood. There's so much of myself I see in him, yet there's so much more I want to be. He's kind and thoughtful. He's soft, but he finds his courage and shows that he can be quite tenacious and clever! He's constantly underestimated, especially by himself, but shows them up with confidence and sass. He doesn't let the horrible things that have happened to him make him hard and is never afraid of being his true self. I also find our relationships with the Lonely incredibly similar. Essentially, it's been quite a long time since I've found a character that is so much like myself, and gives me hope that I can also make the same changes in my life as him to grow and become a better person. Hopefully that doesn't include being stalked by a worm lady.

[olderthannetfic]

Unpopular opinion: Tumblr generally being a safe space for neurodivergence and mental and physical issues of all kinds is a good thing, BUT a not insubstantial number of people will blame anxiety or low spoons for EVERY. DAMN. THING and it's ridiculous. As a perpetually dopamine-starved person I know for a fact that when I accept these things as excuses for myself and don't even TRY, my baseline gets WORSE and everything else gets worse as a result of that, and it's very easy to lie down and blame spoons but guess what, feeling shitty because I let the dishes pile up is not something you can will away with positive talk or "disability acceptance". So I'm sick of seeing other people use that to excuse every last tiny little thing. Not only are they making shitty excuses for things and making social anxiety harder to take seriously ("my social anxiety prevents me from reblogging art I like" and other frivolous shit like that where, if the person genuinely suffered from anxiety to that degree, they would not be on fickle, tumultous Tumblr, that's for damn sure), they're not even actually helping themselves, either.

Sorry for the heated tone, I just needed to vent about this. Disclaimer, people are different and some people have very different experiences and I don't speak for everyone, and too much pressure on yourself vs. too little is a perpetual see-saw of hell. It's just something I've observed.

Just, ahhh. You know that brand of posts pushing back against this with messages like "Sometimes, self-care isn't a bath with scented candles, it's actually doing the laundry"? Here's me gesturing vaguely at that brand of post and saying we need more of that energy in many other things as well. Yes, sometimes you have low spoons and don't text your friends back but maintaining friendships is in your own best long-term interest and future you will be happy you did so and generally better-off for it. Et cetera.

--

[archivalofsins]

So I wrote a Mikoto fic for his birthday based loosely around the timeline convo. I'm not putting it up on my AO3, though- because I'm putting it right here! I said I'd be back on the day, and I at least tried to keep my word. Apologies in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors. I'm gonna go work on the orekoto side of this now.

Everyone was keeping away from me. No one would probably wish me a happy birthday this year. It was clear whenever I entered the room... Everything about me made these people uncomfortable. Why was I being treated like the biggest threat here? They're all murderers too! It-

It wasn't even me. I didn't even do anything. Even worse, this place, Milgram, it couldn't even prove I did anything. It's claiming that I have another side to myself. That this double committed the crimes. It was exactly like what I said in that awful interrogation. They got the wrong person, someone who looked similar even though- that someone was me, it wasn't. That sort of thing, can I even believe it?

I mean, isn't it convenient that this place came up with such a wild excuse to justify putting me through all this. I can't take this anymore... I feel like I'm about to fall apart constantly, my memory's been getting worse. All these weird occurrences one after another I-

I can't even trust myself anymore.

It's lonely... I'm all alone again aren't I.

"Hah..."

I couldn't help thinking back to that one questionnaire they had me fill out. One of the questions was if I'd ever dated. I guess the guards impression that I was unpopular wound up being correct in the end.

"You know... there's only so much of this I can take before I get angry." I muttered the words lowly to myself. All those ridiculous accusations, people saying they saw me where I know they didn't see me, blaming me for things I had nothing to do with! It's the same everywhere I go, no matter what I do!

"It wasn't meant to be this way." I looked over my shoulder searching for an all too familiar but now so foreign voice. My own voice from back then-

I hit my hand against the bed before clenching the covers into it tightly. I'm going crazy in here. I can't take it anymore, I can't take any of this anymore. I need to talk to someone anyone. I don't want to be left alone. I don't want to be by myself; I don't want to...

But I'm not. If what this place is claiming- If that's true, I'm not alone then. Yeah, I'm not alone.

Even more than that, now I have a face and name for that reason I'd been searching for, even if it's my own. I won't just sit around here letting anybody say whatever the hell they want about me, I won't let them ruin my life anymore. None of it was meant to be this way it's all their fault things have turned into such a disaster.

So, why shouldn't they have to explain why to me? It's my birthday, after all; it's the least they could do right after making sure nobody here would even talk to me.

"Another me, could there really be such a thing? My tattered clothes, why no one will speak to me, being called a-" I couldn't stop my voice from cracking as I looked down at my own hands "murderer." I choked down my disgust. "I can't bring myself to believe something like that. I'm me after all the one and only. Not mass produced goods or a package deal. Just me...right?"

"Ha..?" A small terrified laugh escaped me. What do I mean, right? Who am I asking? What am I waiting for an answer for? The person that has that- The only one who should is me. Right? That's right...isn't it? I...i...

"Can you even hear me speaking? Can you hear me if I don't...?" Do they know me better than I do...? No, that's a crazy thing to think I'm losing it. This is all their faults, I didn't do anything- I don't remember doing anything! So, why? Why is this happening to me?! Why do I have to go through this?

"If you can hear me just answer already- I can't take this anymore. I deserve an answer I didn't do anything wrong-"

"Didn't do anything wrong?"

I covered my head with my arms on instinct. Not again, not those voices again. I wasn't talking to them. I don't want them to talk to me.

I didn't do it...I didn't do it...I didn't. Just have to be louder to talk more think more anything to just make them stop.

"Why are you being so cruel?" The words came out as a weak whine. At least they came out...

"MURDERER!"

I'm not-

"You're the reason I've ended up like this- the least you could do is ANSWER!" I forced out the words so quickly I almost bit my tongue. For a moment, the voices stopped. There was quiet; a nothing sort of quiet. Then, in what seemed like an instant, I was-

"I what was I doing again..? I was... I-" I shook my head lightly, "Regardless, an answer won't just appear in front of me if I just sit around talking to myself. I won't get one regardless of how much I think, either. It'd be better if I just stopped thinking about it. I've worn myself out enough already anyhow."