#they deal in devil's bargains

[itsmissing]

design comm for a bargain mage

[deepwaterwritingprompts]

Text: Contracts written in flesh and blood are the most powerfully binding of all. And if you don’t want to make a big mess, it turns out a tattoo of your terms also qualifies.

[fiddleabout]

chef au sneak peak part deux

“One of the guests,” he says.  “She asked to see you, said that she knows you.”

Beatrice blinks at him owlishly.  “Pardon?”

Ashish shrugs, looking stricken.  “The 10:30 at table seven,” he says, as if that explains anything.  

“Do you have a name?”  Beatrice fights the urge to pinch at the bridge of her nose to ward off the way frustration is building in her as much as confusion is.  Ava takes her frustration in stride these days, had done so even before they became-- whatever they are now, heated and physical and entwined in each other’s lives to a truly excessive degree that Beatrice cannot find it in herself to worry about-- but half of the staff crumple in the face of it.

“Oh,” Ashish says, suddenly fumbling for his notepad.  Beatrice swallows the sigh she wants to let out, because there’s no possible way that he actually wrote the name on a reservation down on his notepad.  “Um--”

“Don’t worry about it,” Beatrice says, as kindly as she can after watching him flip through the pad frantically.  “I’ll take a look.  Thank you.”

Ashish shoves the notepad back into his apron pocket, squeaks out something shrill and unintelligible, and immediately flees the vicinity.  Beatrice watches him go, letting out a heavy sigh.

“What was that?” Chanel appears at her elbow, a decanted bottle of wine in one hand and a chef’s knife in the other, one eyebrow flicked upwards.  

“I have no idea.”  Beatrice sighs again.  “He said table seven knows me.”

Chanel’s eyebrow flicks up higher.  “Expecting someone?”

She doesn’t wait for Beatrice to answer, shoving the wine into Beatrice’s hand and blindly handing the knife to Ava, who barely blinks at the interruption as she tastes one of the sauces and then yells for the saucier.  Beatrice watches, frozen, as Chanel weaves her way through the kitchen and pokes her head out the door into the main restaurant for a long moment and then turns back to face her.

“Fun-sized bag of springs, tall smokeshow with spectacular cheekbones?”

“You’re one to talk,” Michelle says as she bustles past Chanel, flicking the towel over her shoulder towards Chanel’s cheekbones on her way over to Ava.  

Camila and Lilith.  Lilith is here, at their restaurant, with her pastry chef, on a Thursday when her own is surely booked solid.  She left her own restaurant to come here.  

“Shit,” Beatrice mutters.  She tries to swallow the inexplicable panic rising in her chest-- Lilith is her best friend, there’s no reason she should be panicking at seeing her-- and glances at the clock.  It’s half past eleven and the restaurant is still almost completely full, an uncharacteristically busy Wednesday; this is the first break Beatrice has had since the dinner rush started.  

“You good?” Ava appears at Beatrice’s elbow, one eyebrow raised and a hand holding out a spoon towards Beatrice’s mouth.  “Here, taste this.”

Beatrice takes the spoon blindly.  It’s muhammara, delicious and one of her favorites but also very much not on the menu for the night, and the discomfort in her chest pivots immediately.

“Why--”

“It’s your favorite, and we had way too many walnuts.”  Ava shrugs, smiles, shoves the bowl of muhammara and piece of pita into Beatrice’s hands.  “Also, you didn’t eat before the dinner rush because we--”

“Thank you,” Beatrice hurries out, cutting Ava off before she can go into lurid detail about how they’d both forgotten to eat before it got busy because they were otherwise occupied by Ava bending Beatrice over her desk in her tiny office.  “But--”

“It took like five minutes,” Ava says with another shrug, intentionally casual in spite of the faint flush dusting over her cheeks and the fact that they both know that she’s lying.  

The twist of panic in Beatrice’s chest vanishes abruptly, because Ava made her muhammara in the middle of a busy night just so she would eat.  She wants to kiss her, wants to drag her back into her office and pick up where they left off when they were busy skipping the lull before the dinner rush; instead, all she can do is clutch the food Ava offered her and stare at her with wonder like she so often does, irrevocably and overwhelmingly charmed.

“Thank you,” Beatrice says softly.

“If you two are quite done.”  Chanel’s reclaimed her knife from where she’d handed it off to Ava and points at Ava and then Beatrice with it.  “Someone is asking for Beatrice outside.”

“What?” Ava’s eyebrows crease.

“Lilith is here,” Beatrice sighs out.  She busies herself with swiping a corner of the pita through the muhammara and shoving it into her mouth, as much to buy time as to deal with the fact that she’s realized suddenly that she is, in fact, starving. 

“Lilith?”  Ava says, straightening up as her eyes widen.

“Wait,” Chanel says.  “Do you mean Lilith as in the executive chef at Per Se?”

“I mean Lilith, Beatrice’s best friend,” Ava says, an almost indecipherable tinge of panic in her voice.

“Who is also the chef at Per Se, yes,” Beatrice says heavily.  

“Well, shit,” Chanel says.  She points at Beatrice with the knife again.  Six months ago, it would have irritated Beatrice, the casual way Chanel is pointing an incredibly sharp knife at her; now, she’s used to it, the way that Ava and Chanel both are prone to using knives as laser pointers.  “Is she here to shoot Ava?”

“Hey!”

“Potentially,” Beatrice says, sighing.  They haven’t told Chanel, not really, but she’s smart and obnoxiously perceptive, so it’s hardly surprising that she immediately assumes that Beatrice’s best friend is here to threaten her girlfriend with an early exit and a shallow grave.  

“Hey!” Ava says again.  “I could hold my own, you never know.”

“You can’t,” Beatrice says in unison with Chanel.  Ava glares at her, her fake indignation so endearing that Beatrice nearly gives up on trying to be professional when they’re in front of the staff, nearly kisses her.  Instead, she takes another bite of the muhammara, inelegant and oversized, before handing it back to Ava so she can dig her phone out of her pocket to text Lilith.

I can’t leave right now.  We’re swamped.  

A response pops up immediately.  Chickenshit, which means Lilith is in a good mood.  I can wait until you close up for the night.  And then: Don’t worry, we’ll tip your tiny little zoomer waiter heavy.

[drconstellation]

When Crowley met Jesus, and the other demon at Golgotha

You know the scene. 33AD. Aziraphale is watching the crucifixion take place and certain fem-presenting demon sidles up to him.

Aziraphale greets them, and finds out they have changed their name.

"What is it now?" he asks them. " Mephistopheles? Asmodeus?"

I know most you have learnt by now that Asmodeus is the demon of lust, and this is obviously Aziraphale's idea of a flirty little joke (perhaps the first we see? because he's the one who's really as "mad as bag of frogs" after all and that's why Crowley's made an appearance, because he was probably just in the area, you know...), but I haven't seen or come across much meta about the first suggested name, which is a GO "lead balloon" moment.

Mephistopheles, Aziraphale? That's the name you thought of here? Of all places? jfc...you bad, bad angel! lmoa! This is a serious, sombre situation you are witnessing!

Mephistopheles is the name of the fictional demon sent to do a deal with the character Faust in a story that dates back to Germany in the early 1500s. Faust was a like a scientist in his day, well educated in things like alchemy and astrology and other mystical arts, maybe even having wizard powers (why not?) But he was hungry for more power so he did a deal with the devil for 24 years of assistance to achieve and gain anything he desired, and at the end of that time he would be claimed by Hell. Needless to say, despite starting off well it didn't have a happy ending. (I wont go into details as there are lots of variants, and its not that short, and they aren't all that relevant to the point of the post.)

It has been a hugely influential story ever since, appearing in many forms over the years; in opera, theater, movies, novels, adaptations such as Oscar Wilde's The Portrait of Dorian Grey, and Queen's famous song Bohemian Rhapsody. Terry Pratchett also did a parody of it in his 1990 book Eric, and readers have often noted the similarity to the Hell depicted there to the Hell in GO.

Its the origin of the idiom "to do a deal with the devil" and a Faustian bargain. The mortals that enter into the deal with a powerful supernatural entity are usually set up to fail, and we go along with it because we are so used to the trope, its one we've come to expect the bargainer to fail in some spectacular fashion. It's one that keeps being repeated again and again because it so interesting to explore - often the protagonist is looking for some form of happiness, sometimes revenge, and hopes the deal will deliver, but find out the hard way that they should be careful what they wish for because the delivery is a two-edged sword. They may find out that they don't actually want what they thought they wanted, or they get what they want in an very unexpected way.

Back to Golgotha, and our demon and angel. We learn the demon has merely modified their name to Crowley. And yes, they met Jesus.

C: "Seemed a very bright young man. I showed him all the kingdoms of the world."

A: "Why?"

C: "He's a carpenter from Galilee, his travel opportunities are limited."

This is a reference to one of the the tests of faith Jesus was put through before his crucifixion, from the Book of Matthew.

I like this modern version I found:

For the third test, the Devil took him to the peak of a huge mountain. He gestured expansively, pointing out all the earth’s kingdoms, how glorious they all were. Then he said, “They’re yours—lock, stock, and barrel. Just go down on your knees and worship me, and they’re yours.” Jesus’ refusal was curt: “Beat it, Satan!” He backed his rebuke with a third quotation from Deuteronomy: “Worship the Lord your God, and only him. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness.” The Test was over. The Devil left. And in his place, angels! Angels came and took care of Jesus’ needs. Matthew 4:8-11 The Message

Or, you could say: Crowley showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world, and offered the bargain that he could rule them all if he would renounce God and worship Satan instead, but Jesus just turned to the demonic messenger and simply told him to "fuck off!"

And there we have it, folks. Mephistopheles, and Asmodeus. Touche, Aziraphale, you sly little shit stirrer.

[loosescrewslefty]

This was SO subtle and clever that it makes me furious about TOH's cancellation all over again.

[isurrendertoclones]

Jurassic World: Chaos Theory spoilers:

(This is relevant to Star Wars I promise lol)

The ending of this season just makes Tech’s death that much more frustrating!!!

Like we, the audience, knew Brooklyn was alive, because that’s the way the story was set up. That’s the story we, as humans, like and understand and crave. We didn’t know when or how she was coming back, so it was still a surprise! And she lost an arm in the attack, so there were consequences! None of the tension or emotion was lost because she’s actually alive.

It just parallels Tech’s death so perfectly…except that in Chaos Theory they actually went with the story that both made narrative sense and satisfied the audience. There was still genuine pain and grief for her through the whole season, making her ‘death’ impactful (haha we didn’t even get that for Tech, so it was pretty much meaningless 🙃), but they’re still bringing her back into the story. It doesn’t feel forced or juvenile—it feels like the way the story is supposed to go.

It just feels like a kick in the teeth coming right on the heels of the end of TBB (mixing my metaphors a little lol) because yeah. This. This is exactly what I wanted: we get Tech back. He’s changed, irrevocably, but he’s back.

There just doesn’t feel like there was any point to Tech’s death except to hurt the audience—and it barely has any impact on the in-world story at all!!! A couple of almost throw-away lines over the whole third season. We don’t even see Crosshair finding out what happened.

TL;DR

The ending of the first season of Chaos Theory is exactly what I wanted to happen with Tech, and there’s no reason we shouldn’t have gotten him back.

[argyleheir]

Promise?? 👀

[meowmeowmessi]

rival fans not being able to swallow the bitter pill that is pep making an honest farmers league out of the EPL is so funny to me like brother that entire league is a money laundering scheme the way every single club splashes the US military's budget worth of money on themselves season after season absolutely no one's stopping you from trying to beat him so stop whining

[iamthewanderingbard]

So. Our DM for our Blades in the Dark game elaborated on Devil’s Bargains and when and how they might be used in game. And one of the potential conditions our DM read off for taking a Devil’s Bargain was “betray or anger a loved one”. So naturally my mind went to Elissa and Lucy and.

Darkest timeline Elucy AU let’s gooooooooo.

[redstrewn]

🤦‍♀️did leander make a deal and then hes gonna make a deal to try outdealing the deal he dealt

[libraryofbaxobab]

September 8, 2023:

At first glance, this seems to have it all-- a demonic carnival, a diabolical bargain, funny afterlife bureaucracy, metaphysical dry humor befitting Good Omens-- but make no mistake that is a thin veneer over a story that has no heart. There's just no one to love. The main character starts out borderline-unlikeable and only gets worse on purpose, I get that. But there wasn't really anyone else for me to latch onto. Horst, maybe, but we didn't spend enough time with him so while he retains morality, he seems to lack personality. Nobody fits in the Venn diagram of 'fun' and 'redeemable'

Also I just have to say, the audiobook isn't great quality. It actually crackles. I can practically see the audio levels hitting red, a real rookie mistake under the best circumstances, but a critical failure in an audio-only format. I promise it's not just bad speakers, I've listened to this 4 different ways, including fairly high-quality headphones, and in each I could hear the telltale buzzing of distorted audio. Come onnn!

Skip this one

3/10 #WhatsKenyaReading

[killmebythebeach]

So. Anyone else writing their crew member with a favor due to Niklaus or is that just me

[m-blackwell-and-associates]

Follow Up pt 5

“He might have been more useful alive, Ms. Rosselini,” Angelina said, sounding disapproving of Diana's protests and indifferent of her discomfort. 

The woman clenched her fists, standing just out of reach of the grasping and vengeful spirit.  “The mission was compromised, Donna Angelina. Even using family resources to transport a near dead man from our basement would have drawn more attention that was necessary thanks to the problems his little princess had already created for us.  Nicky would have done the same in disposing of our unexpected guest.”

Nicky, Angelina thought, would have put a bullet into the man as a safeguard from sudden recovery or rescue.  Nicky would have then proceeded to put a bullet in everyone in the building and she was certain Diana Rossellini knew that, giving Diana’s final call on the matter a tinge of self preservation rather than protocol.  However, having chastised the Proxy sufficiently, she reeled in the wrathful wraith, giving her sullen cousin space to breath and be thankful for her life.

“Simon Boucher,” Angelina said, focusing on the spirit.  Its attention now turned to her, it shrank back into human proportions, once again clear and calm and sad.  “We regret that you have come to this state.”

“You are like her,” he whispered again. 

“I am,” Angelina agreed.  “Did you see the ones that attacked you.”

“No.  I didn’t.”  A ghostly hand went to the pockets of his clothing. Searching.  “They took the rosary from me.  They knew we were coming, even though Elizabeth said it was safe.  Is she safe?  Did they kill her too?  I can’t find her.”

“She’s safe with her brother, Mr. Boucher.  She left France unharmed.  What can be done for you?”

The resigned spirit of Simon looked at his bones under Anglina’s gentle hands.  “Tell my family.  Don’t let them wonder what happened.”

“I can do that for you, Mr. Boucher.”  Angelina glanced meaningfully at Diana and tipped her head to the door, indicating that the Proxy needed to find the absent medical examiner in order to prepare the bones for travel.  Diana, sullen to be dismissed, wisely left without a word.  The wraith of Simon didn’t notice the accessory to his murder leaving, starting transfixed at his own body.

“Is this what happens when you betray someone?  Am I in hell?”

The notion amused Angelina.  “You aren’t in hell, Mr. Boucher.  Whom did you betray?”  The spirit flickered for a moment, the way a warning ripple might go through a swarm of bees.

“He paid me to bring him the rosary.  Elizabeth said he was going to kill me if I did.  But then I died anyway.”  Angelina could feel the sadness in the bones. “Did Elizabeth have me killed?  For the rosary?”

A child, even one in the shadow of  Nicky’s influence, could not possibly have orchestrated such a thing and she said so.  “This might have been simple accident of chance, Mr. Boucher.  Whom did you betray?”  She leaned into the question, urging the wraith to answer truthfully.

Again that ripple as the words were bent unwillingly from the wraith.  “Vincenzo Giovanni.  He paid...my…our Order…to find things for him.”

Angelina shared a quick look with Pietro, her cousin and enforcer becoming grim to hear the news.  “Does Vincenzo live here in Grenoble?”  While a common enough family name, there were only so many that had gotten the Kiss and she could account for each one of those and the territory they were allowed to operate.

“America.  The rosary is gone.  How do I make amends so I can go to Heaven?”  Simon’s voice was beginning to go hollow, an abyssal wail.

“I will help you, Mr. Boucher, but you will have to wait.  We’ll move you out of this place to one of sanctuary.  You will be safe and soon on your path to redemption.”  Angelina poured all of her sincerity into the words, lifting her hands off the bones and letting the mournful spirit of Simon Boucher fade back across the Shroud.

She stood there quietly for a moment, Pietro coming alongside.  “If it is the same Vincenzo that tried to gull the Butcher’s little China Doll…”

“Then you might have to keep me from killing him, Pietro,” Angelia interrupted, more abruptly than she intended.  Her enforcer smiled, a smile full of warmth and charm.

“I am conflicted, Donna, although I might just hold your coat for you.  For the insult done your office if nothing else.  But,” the smile faded as he crossed his arms.  “The way he dallies with business not his own, you might have to wait your turn behind prior complaints.  How does he hold his position the way he burns these bridges?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, Pietro.  And,” she added more quietly, seeing Diana escorting the uneasy medical examiner back into the room.  “When we get back to the villa, I want to talk to you about your Proxy.”

[soldsouls]

I do think that vaguely factored into how he went about filling his quota while running Luci’s Inferno. Kids were among those whose souls he wouldn’t ensnare nor would he allow parents / guardians to bargain them away. I mean once they hit like 14, he would be more inclined if they were persistent about it, but he was mostly targeting people in the 30+ range who were so down on their luck that eternal damnation wouldn’t be much worse by comparison. That’s not saying he didn’t ensnare other types of people in those 4 years. These were guidelines, not rules, and he wasn’t about to get incinerated for some stranger. But, that’s how he tried to go about it.

[dancesword]

zora really seems like a perfect goody - two - shoes cleric and then pulls stuff like helping the zhentarim and later turning on them to get in good with the guild. her past doesnt come up a lot but when it does its like. oh yeah she really did used to be heavily involved shady illegal trade huh

[see-arcane]

I wrote a book!

The Vampyres is the happy horrifying accident born of feverish scribbling in the wake of Dracula season* (*inhaling Dracula Daily and Re: Dracula at the same time May thru November). It features a number of familiar villainous faces from classic supernatural lit, though not everyone is wearing their original name anymore. The story takes place in the 21st century and you can only hold onto those sentimental titles so long in the mayfly mortal world before you start drawing attention.

Not that swapping out pseudonyms has done anything to thwart the new shadow looming over the revenant community…

Free Preview Chapters (If You Want a Sneak Peek)

Tumblr version - PDF

More info under the cut!

Description

Something is culling the undead.

Whether they imbibe blood, leech life, or traded mortality away to their devil of choice, the revenants of the world are disappearing. The Vampyre, a possessor of many names and collector of many lives, has been fretting over the phenomenon for some time.

A laughable fear, for he is one of those canny cadaverous few who made a deal for perpetual resurrection. The bitten may crumble, but the bargainer can rise from death after death. So he reminds himself. So he worries is no longer the case.

Not when the boyar in the Carpathians was one of the first to vanish. Still, the monster from the mountains may simply be in hiding, just as the rest of the bargainers must be. The Vampyre convinces himself of this for a single night……before the monster called Quinn Morse makes itself known.

Where to Buy

eBook: https://books2read.com/thevampyres

Paperback (Bookshop being a U.S. store search*): https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-vampyres-c-r-kane/21171669?ean=9798218374587

*Available internationally!

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eBook ISBN: 9798218374594

Paperback ISBN: 9798218374587

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