#they deserve romance

[we-re-all-stories-in-the-end]

I love that there are stories about middle-aged men in love right now, and how much they've been embraced in fanworks. It's nice to think about the teens those characters would have been, and how they deserved to see their love represented, but at least they're getting it now. Ish. More would still be good.

[hybrix-hidings]

Honestly everyone give it up for repulsed aces/aros. Yall get so much shit for having boundaries and its frustrating to watch. You're all getting sent complimentary gift baskets

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.

(for @frummpets)

[lovelybluebirdie]

Astarion's new title in the epilogue!!!

[greaseonmymouth]

I saw this shared around on Threads (why do I go there, I hate it) and commented on as 'this article is so good' and 'must read' including by a few people whose opinion I normally respect, and seeing as monsterfucking and monster everything is like a special little interest for me, I of course instantly clicked through to read it

and I have to say

what the everloving heterosexual fuck is this

two fat paragraphs about omegaverse that don't even mention its origins - I mean - I just - gaze upon this phrase, and despair:

During estrous, Omegas’ vaginas ooze with “slick,” responding to the Alpha’s intoxicating pheromonal perfume.

IT'S CALLED "SLICK" BECAUSE IT'S FROM SELF-LUBRICATING ANUSES. THE REASON THE OMEGAS NEED SELF-LUBRICATING ANUSES TO BEGIN WITH IS BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE VAGINAS.

I. have been rendered figuratively speechless. the straights don't know what slick is. the. i. how. how did we end up like this

their dicks swell at the base, creating a “knot,” which lodges them inextricably in the Omega’s slick-soaked (I am so sorry) vagina.

"(I am so sorry)" girl you're writing an article about monster smut and then you have the gall to be embarrassed by the this tame ass (or should i say vagina?) heterosexual omegaverse?

okay, okay. deep breaths. we've only just got started. we started by covering Morning Glory Milking Farm, a minotaur/human erotic romance novel, which well - I've read it, and it's not a bad book by any means, it was actually very very good, a solid story with a great cast and perfectly paced and satisfying romance and loads of sex - is very straight. it's just a minotaur. it's a big guy with a big dick. it's your standard gentle giant/normal sized girl romance. it's not very freaky, but you know, I don't blame the average reader for coming into this thinking this is some out there stuff. gotta start somewhere, right? we didn't all come up through draco/the giant squid crackfic in 2005, you know? and now we've covered Sarah J Maas and we're entering omegaverse territory, this is getting knottier now, right, freakier? this article is going somewhere, right?

you can imagine the intrigue, enemies-to-lovers, and other story lines involved as each captured female eventually finds the member of the barbarian tribe who is destined to worship and fuck the living daylights out of her for the rest of their lives. Oh, and their dicks have a sensitive spur on top designed for clitoral stimulation. It’s just as blue and velvety as the rest of their big alien bodies.

okay so the minotaurs aliens are blue now, i guess.

It seems, also, like the romance genre as a whole is being pushed by monster romance to make things in human-human books as freaky as possible.

ohh?? are we finally getting a proper freak on now??

This genre, “why choose?” or “MMF” (or sometimes even MMMF or MMFM), and also known as “reverse harem,” always features a heroine who is showered with sexual attention by men who are also sexually involved with each other.

having a thousand yard stare moment over here

this author seriously thinks that all these heterofied monster romance tropes are paving the way for the real freaky stuff that is, checks notes, "two hockey players fucking each other while the heroine calls the shots"

this author is positing that human queer erotica/romance are freakier than monster erotica/romance. like. she said that. with her whole chest. black on white.

on one hand a monster, an inhuman being, and on the other, a queer person, a human being. and apparently the real freak is not the minotaur or the blue alien. it is the queer human.

is this satire? it has to be, right?

because if it's not satire, this article is an entire case study in itself on the monstering* of queer people. stunning.

*academic term

[softiedingo]

neck + chest appreciation post ✨️

[mooreaux]

Playing thru inquisition with my dear Sasha 🌿✨

[littlenastieswewhispered]

“buffy ended the show single :)” ok but only because her current love interest just DIED!! (he near quite literally died in her arms! in sacrifice for her!) her last words of the entire series were telling him she loves him and then saying his name in admiration. she isn’t single; she’s a widow.

[pjs-everyday]

someone: do u watch spy x family?

me: yea, and I’m so normal about it

also me:

🙂🤲❤️

[miradelletarot]

Ya know, I imagine that for as kinky and wild Gale can be in the bedroom, I would think his favorite thing in the world is slow, sleepy, super affectionate sex.

It's that moment where him and his partner can just entangle themselves in each other, to feel every sensation of their contact with one another. No expectations, no words needed. Just a languid exploration of his partner's body using all the senses.

The little noises they make with every gentle thrust or thoughtful caress

The salty taste of their skin with each kiss.

The blissful look on their face as they come undone...that sweetest flush of their cheeks.

The feel of their skin, all scars, ridges, smoothness, or wrinkles. He will basically memorize the topography of his lover's body.

The smell of them...That natural, unperfumed fragrance that belongs to only his partner. As unique as a fingerprint.

Gale can take his time, bring all of these sensations to memory, savoring the closeness and precious time with his love. It's less about the sex itself, and more about bonding in a very mortal way. He thrives on that deep connection with his partner because it's not something he's ever been accustomed to, and hasn't gotten in a very long time.

He deserves so much love and affection, and equally (if not more so) wants to express that to his partner. As often as the world allowed him to.

[mcroutfits]

10000/10 famous aesthetics: gerard's camo shorts

[screwpinecaprice]

Just a silly guy, with silly silly thoughts.

@glowweek Day 2

Casual | Surprise

A casual surprise?😬😬😬

[linusbenjamin]

Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it. A Walk To Remember 2002, dir. Adam Shankman

[hotluncheddie]

Thinking about Eddie opening the door to Steve for their first date.

His hair is combed back with water, his bangs parted to the side and curls slicked back away from his face, but the waves are still unruly at the back of his head. He’s wearing an old denim shirt of Wayne’s, buttons done up all the way and it’s tucked into his jeans. No handcuff belt and his sneakers look freshly cleaned. He’s clutching wildflowers in his fist, eyes wide and scared. He bounces on his toes as his mouth fights against his grin.

Steve can’t believe what he’s seeing. He’s never been so exited for a date before. He’s never had a date look so exited to see him. He spins his keys on his finger, once, twice; a nervous habit.

‘Yo-you look, uh, really nice.’ He stammers, and watches Eddie’s nervous smile bloom.

[deadrocks]

On the one hand it is very funny that Gale is turned on by Tav's unwashed body "musk" and their sweat-and-blood-covered post-battle glow, but on the other hand it wrenches my heart a bit to see him fall in love with all the parts of a physical, mortal body that Mystra surely never bothered to replicate.

[snowfolly]

So I just realized that during the epilogue the narrator says that:

*one night, he (Astarion) tells you that these last six months of happy memories are the counterweight to two hundred years of misery*

This comes after saying (during certain dialogue choices) in act 3 that:

“Nothing can make up for that. Not even Cazador’s death.” (in reference to the year he was sealed in the tomb)

And I

just have a lot of feelings

about this man.