#they were just starting to mend their friendship WHY CAN’T WE HAVE NICE THINGS

[ichatake]

do yandere kakashi and Obito reacing to reader replacing Rin when she dies. lets say obito gets saved by minato so he knows why exactly kakashi got Rin killed. So when reader joins the team theyre really mean to her and everything becus they cant believe she tried to replace rin. They become yandere after she heals them (she can have medical ninjutsu?) so they really start to like her

Yandere Kakashi and Yandere Obito with the same S/O

Request open! (Request Rules)

A/N: thank you for requesting!! I hope you enjoy!

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No one can be prepared to lose a close friend, and neither Kaashi or Obito were ready to lose Rin. It had been a dark day for them, Obito had been crushed by a boulder, which Minaro thankfully got there in time to help him. Then Rin sacrificed herself to save them and herself from the wrath of the three tailed beast.

Since Obito was present for most of the situation, he understood that Kakashi never meant to hurt Rin. Their friendship grew stronger as they both grieved the loss of their teammate. Of course, they were shocked when Minato mentioned they’d be joined by a new member. They couldn’t believe it! The audacity of replacing Rin in such a short amount of time was unbelievable.

Your presence was, of course, unwelcomed. You were a replacement, nothing else. You could never replace Rin, so they didn’t bother with you. There was no point. It wasn’t your fault you’d been placed with them, but they couldn’t help but hold it against you.

Kakashi was monotone when it came to you. You could never tell what he was thinking, and that bothered you a lot. When you tried speaking to him, he’d only listen, but never answer. That was the part that scared you the most. He was simply uninterested in being with you. You could waste your time asking him something, but that didn’t mean he’d actually answer you. You’d simply be harshly ignored by him.

Obito was a whole different case. Kakashi, although straight out ignoring you, never blatantly showed you just how much he disliked you, but Obito? This boy was the definition of obvious. He was the most affected by Rin’s passing, in his mind. She was his everything. How could he replace her?

When I say he was mean, I mean it. He yelled at you, scolded you, berated you, and simply treated you outright badly. He was condescending when you failed and you couldn’t get him to like you no matter how hard you tried. He hated you. You believe that wholeheartedly.

Now, you understood everyone grieves differently, but this was too much. You felt unwanted and unwelcomed. Minato had reassured you several times that everything would be fine, and to just give them some time, but you felt horrible! The only person that treated you nicely was your sensei… it was you against them.

When you trained, you were surprised to see how well they worked together. The loss of Rin has managed to mend their friendship, even if she had died at Kakashi's hands. Obito understood that the reason Rin died was not because Kakashi wanted to kill her, but because she’d rather die than live as a weapon for the rest of her life. Obito forgave Kakashi, and they promised each other they would never hold anything against each other, for Rin. They moved at an amazing rhythm; in perfect sync. They knew where to be and what to do without uttering a single word.

Their teamwork was off the charts, and you were slightly jealous. Why? Oh you know, it’s not like they thought you were a burden or anything. Yeah, every time the three of you had to work together, it would always end up in an argument.

“Jeez, are you slow?! Can’t you see I’m supposed to come from the right?!”

“Get out of the way! You’re messing things up!”

If Rin were here, we wouldn’t have to be dealing with all your mess!”

These were just some of the few things Obito would throw at you whenever you messed up their momentum. You were never good enough for them. You were too slow yet too quick. Too dumb, yet too smart. If you had to jump and you’d jump, they’d somehow find a way to let you know that you jumped the ‘wrong way’. You could never be good enough. You could never win.

You tried, you really did, but nothing worked. You’d be blamed for everything, and they’d say you were ‘dragging them down.’ Of course, they would complain to Minato, mostly Obito, but Kakashi would nod his head in agreement from time to time. Minato would scold them or brush them off. “She’s your teammate, like it or not. You better start treating her as one or else you two will be the ones getting in trouble,” this made them resent you even more.

You got used to everything. It had been a few months since you first got there, so you knew how to handle them. You trained so much and watched them train that when you were in the field once again, you didn’t fall behind. You were predicting their moves to be able to move in sync with them. You had studied them—your obsession of being at the same level finally paying off.

You didn’t understand why, but you expected some sort of praise. For once, you hadn’t been insulted or made fun off. You did everything right; you had caught up to them. So, as the three of you huffed and tried to gain your breath, Minato congratulated you. You couldn’t help the big smile that played on your lips, excited that you had finally gotten some praise. However, the boys never muttered a word. For you, it was a win! They weren’t insulting you or angry at you!

Once Minato saw your progress, he decided it was time for the three of you to go out on a mission alone. You, of course, were nervous. You weren’t sure of how things would play out. Would you mess up again? Would you be left behind? Would the mission even be completed? You didn’t know, but you calmed yourself down and convinced yourself that everything would be fine.

Thankfully, you had completed the mission. You only had to go back to the village. Miraculously enough, the three of you hadn’t gotten into an argument, you had yet to mess up, and things were going just great.

However, all three of you found yourselves in trouble. Rogue ninjas were happy to see three hidden leaf kids, and they were planning on sending a message. They had recognized Kakashi as the strongest one, so they wasted no time in getting him first.

Although wearing a mask, the sudden mist that clouded him had knocked him unconscious. No, it wasn’t mist, it was some sort of pollen one of the ninjas had thrown at Kakashi.

Obito had no idea what to do, but you weren’t going to leave Kakashi. There was a big chance that you would get hit by the pollen as well, but your limbs moved on their own. Soon, you were running full speed towards Kakashi’s unconscious body, lifting his weight over your shoulder. You weren’t going to leave him behind, never. No matter how badly he treated you, you would never leave teammates behind.

As you lifted Kakashi, you hadn’t noticed the kunais coming at you at full speed. They would’ve hit you in the head if it weren’t for Obito. He took the hit for you, and it stabbed him in the shoulder. “Let’s go!” He yells, helping you carry Kakashi as you escape.

Once you were far away and clear of any danger, you set Kakashi down on the ground. You check his pulse and sigh, relieved that he was still alive. “He’s still breathing, he’s just unconscious,” you smile, looking at Obito.

Your eyes widen as you see two kunais on his shoulders, “crap! You’re hurt, Obito!” You stand up and walk towards him, “sit down, I’ll help you,” you pull him down, much to his distaste.

“I’m telling you, I’m fine!” He tries to convince you, but you shush him.

“Don’t be an idiot! You’re not fine. I’ll pull them out—it’ll hurt for a little while, but I promise I’ll make you feel better,” you say, pulling out the knives and apologizing as he hissed in pain.

While helping him, you were gentle. He had never expected this from you. He had been nothing but horrible to you, and yet you treated him as if he were fragile.

You place your hands over his wound and close your eyes, focusing your chakra and beginning to heal the open wounds. It felt… familiar to Obito. He felt taken care of—cared for. It reminded him of… Rin. He gulps and looks at you, your eyes gentle and caring.

He couldn’t help how he felt. His heart started beating quickly as he felt you so close. He had never noticed how cute you were—no, he never noticed how nice you were. How kind and beautiful. You reminded him so much of Rin. Could you have been sent by Rin? Were you an angel he had been neglecting this whole time?

“Obito?” You look at him worriedly, “are you okay? You look a little—“

“I’m okay. Thanks to you,” he smiles, rubbing his neck, “I uh… Just, thank you,”

You were taken aback by this, but quickly give him a gentle smile, “you’re welcome. It was the least I could do after you saved my life. You were basically my hero back there,”

His stomach fluttered at your words, “your hero..?” He chuckles, “no, you’re the hero… if it weren’t for you, Kakashi would’ve been attacked… you’re the real hero,”

You enjoyed his praises. After being treated so poorly by him, it was nice to finally see him smile and compliment you. When you finish healing him, you walk towards Kakashi, placing a hand on his forehead. You wanted to make sure he wasn’t getting a fever because of the polen, “We should get going, I want to make sure Kakashi gets treated quickly. Who knows what was in that polen. It must’ve been really thick if it penetrated his mask,” you frown, pushing his hair out of his face.

Obito agrees, taking kakashi over the shoulder and waiting for you, “Hey uh… (Y/N),” he says, locking eyes with you before looking away, “I’m… sorry, for the way I’ve treated you… I real—,”

“It’s okay, Obito. As long as you don’t keep doing it, I forgive you,” you’d didn’t have hatred in your heart, and you knew how to forgive… Oh gosh, you were so much like her. Obito nods, shamefully smiling, “I promise you, I’ll never be dumb again. Well, dumb enough to treat you like I did…,”

Once you got to the village, you took Kakashi to the infirmary. You waited outside for any news with Obito, and you were relieved when the nurses told you he’d be okay. You didn’t get the chance to see him in the hospital, since you already had to go home. You needed rest, and with a little convincing from Obito, he walked you home.

After that day, Obito was so much nicer. He was a completely different person around you. He treated you so nicely, and never insulted you in any way. He complimented you in everything you did and he even offered to train with you more often.

Even kakashi seemed different. He’d actually speak to you, and nicely. He’d look for conversations and would often stay close to you. Their attitudes had taken a complete 180! You were… happy. You were glad that you finally got along. You were working together, and you were never failing. They made sure to make you feel like a part of their team!

Yeah, you were so distracted by how nice they were treating you, that you didn’t notice how they’d keep an eye on you at all times. How they would often want to take you home. How they would hurt themselves just to get you to take care of them. No, you were too busy basking on their kindness.

Whoops, Kakashi suddenly left his water bottle! Wait, maybe you could share yours with him. You know what they say, drinking from the same water bottle was like an indirect kiss.

Oh no! Obito left his food? Huh, I guess there was no harm in sharing your lunch with him. You’d eat from the same chopsticks, and it thrilled him.

For some reason, you had become their favorite obsession. You were their favorite pastime, favorite topic, favorite person. You clouded their minds at all times, and they didn’t know why. Your kindness got to them, and filled their hearts with some wicked obsession.

Yeah… you were stuck with them for who knows how long. If only you knew that they’d become unbearable as they grow older… and their obsession would become even stronger.

I mean, they were going to become men soon, with new desires and fantasies that only you could fulfill, but for now, you simply thought this was an innocent friendship.

[goodthoughts001]

Chicago Fire Season 3 Episode 9 Recap: What the Truck?

Things for personal for some of our favorite firefighters on Chicago Fire Season 3 Episode 9. And not necessarily in a good way. If you are looking forward to translate this content, contact Translation Agencies UK

Called to the scene of a semi-truck accident, the tension between Dawson and Casey reached a boiling point after the former disobeyed an order by the latter.

This was the first time the couple has had trouble transitioning from their home life to the office life, as the lines have now started to blur. Was Dawson right? Did she save the day ? Yes.

But Casey can’t make it look as if he’s giving her special treatment. And she must show him the respect he deserves as her boss.

At least Dawson wanted to talk about the issue, however. She gets points for that move… and Casey gets the same points deducted for becoming so closed off.

Elsewhere, watch Chicago Fire online and see how the series teased us with the possibility of Mills and Dawson rekindling their romance. Or just their friendship? For Casey fans, let’s hope it’s the latter.

On the flip relationship side, Severide and Brittany shared many tender moments this week. The former isn’t like Casey. He can easily open up and discuss his feelings. With Brittany by his side, Severide finally visited the Academy headquarters and saw Shay’s bridge.

Perhaps he can now start to heal and move on?

Severide’s honesty prompted Brittany to share her own story, as she finally revealed she was behind the wheel during the car crash that killed her sister. Not exactly a shock, but still a nice scene between the couple.

Finally, Mills has things to worry about that don’t include romance of any kind. He recognized he’s being tailed by Mr. Lullo toward the end of the hour and finally grew as frightened as he ought to be about this situation.

Eva Mendes on First-Time Motherhood: It’s Exhausting!

For the first time since becoming a first-time mother, Eva Mendes is speaking out in depth about the experience.

The actress, who gave birth to a daughter named Esmeralda in mid-September, recently sat down with online publication The Violet Files and didn’t bring up the topic of her famous baby daddy, Ryan Gosling.

But Mendes did speak on the overall struggles of caring for a tiny person’s life at all times.

“I’m completely exhausted,” the star said, joking: “I thought my wild nights were over but these are some of the wildest nights I’ve ever had.”

Mendes said she is yet to hire a nanny because she believes “part of being a mother” is going through the “struggle of not being able to sleep and not knowing what I’m doing and really going through it with her and battling out those nights.”

Fans, meanwhile, have been wondering for awhile about the origin of Esmeralda. How did Mendes and Gosling arrive at that name?

“We both love the Esmeralda character from the Victor Hugo novel The Hunchback of Notre Dame and just think it’s a beautiful name,” explained. “Her middle is Amada, which was my grandmother’s name. It means ‘beloved’ in Spanish.”

That’s beautiful.

Aside from now acting as a parent, Mendes said she has starting to think like one.

“I consider how my own actions now will seem to her later on,” she said. “For instance, with the Violet Grey photo shoot, I thought, ‘Is this something that she’s going to be proud of?’ The idea that I would ever embarrass her is really heartbreaking for me.”

Why do we doubt that Kim Kardashian ever thought in such a way?

Did you like Internet Reacts in Horror to #GoslingBaby? If so, please share:Get more content like this delivered to your inbox for FREE:

As you can tell, Mendes is having a somewhat difficult time adjusting to her new, vital role.

But she knows it’s nothing compared to what her child is going through.

“I’ve learned that it’s way harder to be a baby,” she quipped. “Everything is a struggle for her. For instance, I haven’t thrown up since the ‘90s and she’s thrown up twice since we started this interview. Motherhood is cake compared to what it’s like to be a baby.”

[strangelysamantha]

hey, i have a jj maybank request! fem!reader, possible angst!

so basically, y/n is a pogue and gets along with the other pogues (john b, pope, sarah, kiara & cleo) except for jj. y/n is always bright, a total sweetheart and bubbly and jj…hates it.

john b recently opens up a surf board shop on that stranded island that they’re on?? and he leaves y/n and jj alone to polish some boards hoping that they’d get along. jj complains about every little thing y/n does and starts calling her names. she gets really upset and storms out the shop to clear her head. she goes by the water for a swim but a dangerous tide picks her up and jj notices and saves her?? hopefully this makes sense!

the deep end ☆

jj maybank x fem!reader.

warnings: mentions of drowning, jj being an asshole, swearing.

words: 1,674.

summary: jj somehow finds everything you do annoying to the point he criticizes everything you do. john b thinks of a plan that will ensure his two friends will befriend each other. it was working at first, until it wasn’t.

request? yes!

a/n: y’all have such good ideas what the?! thank you for the request! if you enjoyed please like and comment. this is angst with fluff at the end. <3 BTW i am from missouri and have never surfed so i hope i got the polishing of the surfboards correct. :)

my masterlist

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john b always had a plan, well usually he did. if two of his friends were fighting, he would always find a way to get them to get along. he knew that stranding kiara and sarah on a boat together in the middle of nowhere would force them to fix their friendship. so, with that knowledge, he knew that he could do the same thing with jj and you.

you were always nice to jj, he just seemed to get annoyed with you all the time. you didn’t know what you had done, if you had even done something. he just always felt the need to critique you. it became harder and harder everyday to ignore him.

since washing up on the abandoned island, john b was ecstatic for his brand new start. unsurprisingly to anyone, his first idea for creating a new civilization would be a surf shack. he started building it right away. you would occasionally help, but he was determined to do it on his own so he would always send you away.

“okay! john b what would you like my help with? i can do anything you need. just let me know.” you smile brightly at john b, while he stared at you. “listen, i love you. but, i don’t need your help at the moment. you should talk to everyone else.” you frown at his words, “fine. but you better get me the minute you need assistance.” he nodded. “will do.” and with that, you left joining the others.

jj was talking to cleo before silencing upon your arrival. “hey everyone!” you smile at the group in front of you. “hey! how’s john b?” kiara asked. “i think he is good, he’s actually pretty much done.” you play with the bracelet on your wrist. kiara nods, “that’s great.” pope smiles, “statistically speaking, we can’t ensure that his shack will be entirely safe as he built it all on his own.” you stare at pope. “true… we’ll let’s hope it doesn’t collapse on him.” pope smiled at you, glad you listened to his random fact.

jj groaned. “awe, how sweet pope!! you found a girl who wasn’t disgusted by your weird and useless knowledge.” you gasp in shock, “jj! shut up you are so rude.” jj laughs, “it’s just a joke, why do you always have to be so offended?” you glare at jj. “jj it’s not funny, you’re just a dick.” pope sighs. “it’s okay, don’t worry.” you frown in popes direction. you quietly pull away from the group. you walk to an area of sand, plopping yourself down. that’s when john b approached you.

“hey, remember when i told you i would come get you when i needed help?” john b smiled at you. “yes! do you need my help?” you tilt your head to the side, waiting. he nods. “i need you to wax up some of the boards i made.” you nod. “okay! sure.” he walked you to his shack, helping you set up. you began waxing the board, paying attention to the direction and the amount of wax you were applying. john b waits a minute watching you, before he decides to leave.

after a minute, you see jj approaching the shack with john b who held a smug smile on his lips. you shake your head, confused. “friends.” he looked between you and jj. jj held an unamused look on his face. “as my close friends, you will wax these boards for me. you can’t stop until you guys fix whatever feud is going on between the two of you.” john b stands his ground. jj scoffs, “we don’t have a feud.” you nod your head in agreement. “jj is right, his hatred is definitely one sided... it is not a feud.” you laugh softly seeing jj send a glare your way. “yeah okay. whatever guys. just fix it, and if you even try and leave, i’ll send cleo after both of you.” your eyebrows lift in shock. you mutter a quick okay, returning your attention to the board.

jj stares at you, watching you apply the wax. he couldn’t help but get upset. everything you did just made him annoyed. he grabbed the wax, working on the board right by yours. silence falls over the two of you. it’s not awkward or weird, it actually feels quite normal. until jj interrupted it so he could judge you.

“youre doing it wrong. i mean come on.” you stare at jj, “jj please just focus on your own board.” you shake your head, continuing to polish the surfboard. he glares at you. “whatever. just keep doing what you are doing, and then john b or i will fix it after you.” his attention turned back to his board. you rolled your eyes. “i will, thank you.” he breathes in, inhaling the waxy scent. “you are so annoying you know that?” you ignore jj’s words, focusing on the board. he continues, “i mean everything you do. everything you say, it pisses me off.” you nod slightly. “you done?”

“no, actually i’m not.” you bite your lip, fixating on the wax that is spreading along the smooth surface. jj stops waxing the surfboard. you look up to see he is already staring at you. “you know, you act like you are better than us, i mean why do you hang out with us anyway?” jj waits but continues when he realizes you won’t reply. “you are fake, you are so upbeat and bubbly that it’s annoying. you are a double sided two faced bitch who says anything to get in good graces.” you inhale, looking up at him.

“listen jj. we are stranded on this fucking island. TOGETHER. so either drop it and move on, or just shut the fuck up and stay away from me.” you place your hands on your hips, breathing slightly staggered from anger. “everyone speaks so highly of you saying how great you are; but the only jj i’ve met is a total douche. if you hate me so much then just stay the fuck away from me. if you continue you’ll just be wasting your breath and energy anyway.” jj holds back a laugh at your sudden outburst.

“you really think if i had the choice, i would want to be here? especially with you?” jj asked, you already knowing the answer. you stay silent. “exactly. no one can deal with you for that long anyway.” you roll your eyes.

“whatever jj. you win.” you toss the wax to the side, frowning. you don’t turn back to him, you just ignore him. you start to walk towards the beaches seashore. it was getting slightly hot, so you decided to take a dip into the water.

you were salvaging the few moments of freedom you had, before you got john b’s and cleo’s wrath from leaving the scene before mending the friendship with jj. it was practically impossible. what did jj have against you? you tip toed into the water, getting deeper and deeper. you floated at the top of the water; the coolness feeling great on top of your hot skin.

jj truly had the biggest nerve, your mind was overwhelmingly clogged. you felt seaweed scratch against the bottom of your foot, this caused you to jump, your adrenaline levels rising since you thought it was a fish. you try to remain afloat, but the high tide caused the waves to crash right over you repeatedly, being faster and higher than ever. you went above water trying to shout for help, but your mouth was filled, causing no sound to come out. you thrash against the water, kicking to stay afloat. your throat was burning, your legs tired from kicking, and your lungs filled with liquid.

a pair of hands wrap around your stomach, dragging you out the water. you were placed on the warm sand. “shit.” jj stared at you. your head felt light. jj’s hand began pumping your chest, curses falling from his mouth. “come on, just breathe. please.” you cough, the salt water exiting your lungs, and dropping onto your neck. you gasp for air, opening your eyes to be met with jj’s face. you breathe heavily for a minute.

“jj… thank you.” you sit up, pulling him into a tight hug. your hands wrap around his neck, one of them grabbing his hair. his arms held tightly around your waist. his chest was heaving heavily, shaking slightly. “i hate to be so cliché j, but you genuinely saved my life.” he frowns at you. “i almost lost you.”

jj’s confession confused you. “what?” you say softly, your hand combed through his hair. “look. the reason i’m so mean to you, is because i knew that if i was nice to you, my already intense feelings for you would only amplify.” you frown at him. “you’ve had a crush on me this whole time?” jj nodded. you went to talk, but your friends interrupted the moment.

john b rushed to your side, kiara and pope swiftly behind him. “what happened!! we were watching from over there.” john b pointed in a direction farther away. “one minute you were swimming… the next you we’re gone!?” you wipe your neck, trying to dry it off. “jj saved my life. i almost drowned.” you frown, the group in front of you nodded. “im so glad you are okay.” kiara bent down pulling you into a hug. “i’m glad you are safe now too.” pope joined in on the hug; as well as everyone else.

sarah, kiara, and cleo bend down, reaching for your hands. they help you up, dragging you to your feet. they walk you away from the crowd, bombarding you with questions. “so when you were drowning what did it feel like??” you turn around watching jj, you smile slightly before turning to them. “oh get ready for the amount of details i’m going to give you guys.”

possibly a part two…??? not sure yet :) <3 also!! i’m proofreading this tomorrow since i’m not entirely sure if it has errors or not! ily!!

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Imagine being Azula’s favourite friend who she recruits first. The two of you have always had an unspoken attraction which neither of you were brave enough to acknoweldge...until you save her life and Azula decides to reward you

Background

You and Azula attended the academy together and had initially started as rivals. You were an above-average fire bender and because she didn’t know you Azula saw that as a threat. So she made it her mission to ruin your life when one day she found you arguing with Zuko. You didn’t hesitate to yell at him or point out his faults and from that moment on Azula knew she’d misjudged you. Azula be-friended you and you became a part of her group. Over time you became her favourite. She trusted you and could feel your loyalty to her, which was something she grew to respect more and more as Mai was compromised by Zuko and Ty lee became even more whimsical. You soon became inseparable and as the friendship grew it began to feel like more...you realised you liked Azula as more than a friend. You enjoyed every second you spent together and thought she felt the same. The tension between you grew and although Azula would grow flustered around you when you flirted with her she never reciprocated your feelings openly. You were heartbroken but understood that falling for the princess of the fire nation hadn’t been a very smart decision on your part. So needing some space to mend as soon as you graduated from the academy you joined the army. It hurt to be around Azula every day and to know you could be something great together if only your nation was more progressive. So you ran away from the situation and didn’t see Azula for years. You managed to stop thinking about her constantly after a few weeks and soon your heart didn’t feel as broken anymore...but you knew deep down you still cared about her. The princess would always be your first love. 

Your POV

The army was tougher than the fire nation academy for many reasons. For one your name, reputation and grades didn’t matter once you passed through the doors. They didn’t care if you'd sparred with the best fire benders or got the highest grades in combat skills for ten years, you were reduced to a number and treated as one. You hated every second of it but the alternative was to return to your family and you’d take anything over that so you stuck it out. 

One day all the recruits were ordered to wear their best clothes and report to the large training hall which could only mean one thing. Someone wanted to buy troops. High ranking generals or rich businessmen could hire trainees for missions or any jobs they needed completing. The buyer could choose who they wanted after watching you all in training and you would then decide if to accept or not. You took every opportunity you could and so stared straight ahead for inspection, trying your best to look hirable when a voice broke your resolve. "I’m looking for something in particular" Azula told your trainer and you only just managed to keep your head forward but a small smirk broke out on your face. Azula spotted you and walked down the line slowly before stopping in front of you. "Well, well who do we have here?" she asked. You looked up at her and matched her smile "long time no see huh?". Your trainer was horrified at the way you addressed the princess and rushed to yell at you when Azula cut him off with a laugh. She took your arm and you hugged her tightly. Your stomach exploded in butterflies and you clutched her tightly, you’d missed Azula dearly. "Your highness i don’t know what...i’m sorry for this one’s behaviour" the trainer started obliviously and Azula rolled her eyes "are they all as dumb as you? Obviously i know y/n". You smirked and Azula was spurred on by that beautiful expression she’d missed. "You really have no idea who she is?" Azula asked laughing "this is y/n l/n, her father is friends with my father and she is a personal friend to the royal family. To hear you haven’t treated her appropriately is very displeasing" Azula frowned and you smiled as your usually cruel and horrible trainer shook. "I’m sorry we had no idea who she was! We will treat her better, promote her actually" he babbled. "No that won’t do" Azula said "and that wont be necessary, y/n will be leaving with me for a job and won’t be coming back here". The guard hesitated "i...you can’t just take a recruit". "I’m not but i could" Azula growled "i think you’ll find it’s more y/n quits". "She can’t quit" the guard replied “she made an oath” and Azula raised an eyebrow in response "are you tell me what i can do? Are you telling a noblewoman what she can do? Any debt she owes you will be wiped by my command, understand?" Azula barked. The trainer paled but nodded "yes princess" and bowed his head. "Good" Azula nodded and she strode with you right out of the front doors. 

Azula brought you to the lodgings she was staying at in the nearest town and you were amused to see it had been given the royal treatment. Red everywhere, freshly polished surfaces as far as the eye could see, gold and silver decorations lay on every available service and of course a large portrait of the fire lord hung on the wall. Over a lavish dinner Azula told you the mission making you realise you’d accepted and left the army without even asking for any details. You were fine with hunting the avatar and Zuko with Mai and Ty lee but you also recognised you would’ve accepted almost any mission Azula gave you because you’d been so happy to see her. Azula had always had this effect on you and time apart hadn’t done anything to lessen that. You were as much in love with her now as you were the day you left two years ago. 

After dinner Azula led you to your shared apartment, it contained two bedrooms with ensuites and a large living room which you were pleased to see and you sunk into the sofa happily. "Your hair’s shorter" Azula commented suddenly and you nodded touching it self consciously "yeah it was a target in sparring". Azula scoffed "seriously? Don’t they teach the other recruits proper fire bending moves as opposed to childish tricks?". You shrugged "they told us to win by any means. That it doesn’t have to look good so long as you win". Azula laughed again "amateurs all of them! Of course it should look good". You smirked "well when it comes so easy to you" and glanced over her. Azula shrugged but had a large smile on her face "well I suppose I have been blessed in that aspect". You laughed again and smiled "this is nice". Azula smiled too "it is" and you locked eyes for several seconds before she looked away slowly. Azula stood up abruptly "we should get some sleep we’re moving on foot tomorrow to go get Ty lee and then Mai". You were excited at the thought of seeing your old friends and grinned "great! Also don’t think i didn’t notice you came for me first" you called as Azula made her way towards her room. She halted and you smirked "I always knew i was your favourite but really Azula to make it so obvious" you grinned and Azula paused. You walked to your own room and Azula finally responded "i always made it obvious you’re my favourite, it’s nothing new" and went into her room.

You stepped into your own room and leant back against the closed door blushing vividly from the encounter with Azula. You’d spent all your time in the army trying to convince yourself your relationship with Azula was purely platonic. That the fact your heart sped up whenever you thought of her or how you dreamt of her often was just because you were close friends. You managed to convince yourself you weren’t in love with Azula and that she didn’t feel anything for you either but less than a day with her and you knew that was a lie. You couldn’t deny the way she made you feel and how she smiled at you in a way she never did with anyone else...as much as it made you nervous your realisation also excited you. You couldn’t wait to be around Azula again and felt a happy glow spread over you. You settled in your bed, a smile still on your face and burrowed into the exquisite cushions. You expected to fall to sleep easily but a while later you were still awake. You frowned confused as to why. You were happy, you were with Azula and the bed was comfy so why couldn’t you sleep? You figured maybe the bed was too soft compared to what you were used to in the army so went into the living room to try the sofa. You laid down and realised this was better, more like the beds back at the military. You had just closed your eyes when Azula’s door opened. "Trouble sleeping?" she asked and you nodded "i think the bed’s too comfy". Azula laughed "i thought the opposite, really y/n your taste has worsened in our time apart". You shrugged "it’s better than what i’ve been sleeping on for the last 9 months". Azula lay down on the sofa next to you and you looked at her. You didn’t ask why after finding her own bed soooo uncomfortable she came to lay on a sofa barely a foot from where you were and just enjoyed the silence. “So, anything else i missed you didn’t put in your letters?” you asked. Azula hadn’t written to you much at the academy and honestly that had been a good thing. You’d have just missed her more than you already had but she did send brief updates once a month. Azula nodded "probably tons, i couldn’t write often". You didn’t point out she wrote to you on the first of each month religiously instead you turned on your side to look at her. Mai and Ty lee had also written to you but you’d noticed compared to their letters and the changes in their lives Azula’s had been...well boring. You felt almost sorry for her, you’d all moved away to different things but Azula had been stuck at home with a father who was cruel, the ghost of a cold mother and the memory of a banished brother. Azula quickly discussed some events that had happened and then also turned on her side to face you. "What about you then? How was military life really?". You shrugged "not as i expected". "I knew that job would be awful" Azula commented "why did you stay so long then?". You sighed "well i liked some parts of it, the physical training was similar to what we did in the academy which i liked, the mental tests were better, they made me use all my brain". "That’s a first" Azula chimed in and you rolled your eyes "i liked those parts of it...could’ve done without the abuse from the trainers, food restrictions and ban on leaving". Azula raised an eyebrow "remember what i always told you y/n no self-pity, you could’ve left at any time. You chose not to". You thought Azula sounded a bit angry when she said that but you shrugged "i could but that would have meant going back home not coming back to the capital and I’d rather fight all the trainers at once than that" you said through gritted teeth and Azula saw you’d tensed. She recalled you never got along with your family but she hadn’t realised they were part of the reason you’d taken such an awful job so soon after graduation. "They hated my move to the capital and said if i failed at all they’d have me back and married, i had one shot to escape them, there’s no way i’d give it away because i didn’t actually like what i’d chosen". Azula didn’t comment she just watched you conflicted, she hated self pity and weakness but you were so like her, she’d have done the exact same thing in your position. "But you did leave" Azula commented “you left to come with me” and you looked down "i did...". Azula saw the way your face changed, filling with worry and she actually felt slightly guilty. You’d left instinctively for her when she asked, no matter what it might mean for you in the long term. You did all that for her and it proved to her again why you were her closest ally.

Azula laughed and you looked at her confused "y/n do you really think i’d make you give up your job for a small mission?". You frowned "what?". "Your parents won’t be angry because this a much better job, you’ll be paid more and you’re working with me" Azula said pointedly. "They can’t say anything against that, as long as you’re with me they can’t touch you" she smiled and you grinned at Azula "you’d vouch for me?". Azula nodded "of course, i want you with me and that’s what i’ll get, i don’t care who your family are they’re not taking you anywhere ever". You were equally touched and shocked "ever?". Azula nodded "well obviously you might not be here forever but they’re never taking you back to tie you to a marriage, i’ll just keep coming up with excuses to keep you in my company until you’re too old and then they’ll have to leave you alone with me" Azula explained and you smiled "sounds perfect".

Azula laughed and met your eye, seeing how intensely you looked at her gave her chills. Azula had missed you greatly in the capital but honestly she’d let you leave without a fight. She sensed a growing attraction and longing for you which she knew had to stop. So she let you go figuring some distance would be good but as soon as she needed allies the first face in her mind was yours. The second she saw you she knew she’d made the right choice but she also felt the attraction just as suddenly. Laying here staring at you made it more apparent than ever and it scared Azula. She blushed and turned away from you, facing the back of the sofa "try and sleep" she commanded "we'll be up early". 

You didn’t comment on how much Azula was blushing or how she’d chosen to sleep out here with you. You just smiled and closed your eyes basking in the feeling of all she’d said and the safety of her. “Good night Princess” you whispered and you fell asleep almost instantly.

The next day you reunited with Ty lee and then Mai. Ty lee had launched herself at both you and Azula when she saw you and the same occurred for Mai. Mai grunted and hugged Ty lee begrudgingly. "I thought you ran away to the circus?" Mai asked Ty lee and she nodded "i did but y/n and Azula showed up and well they called louder than the universe" Ty lee smiled. "Wait y/n and Azula, isn’t the circus closer to the capital than the military?" Mai asked looking from you to Azula. "Yeah so?" you said confused and Mai shrugged "nothing just seems like it’d make sense to go to the circus first then military but hey i’m sure Azula had her reasons for coming to get you first" Mai smirked slightly. You didn’t look at Azula but Mai and Ty lee exchanged a look at the matching blushes you were both sporting, some things never change. Azula recovered first and pretended Mai hadn’t said anything about the two of you and began explaining her plan. You joined in after a few seconds of recovery but still felt giddy at Mai’s words.

Throughout your trip you and Azula grew closer and closer just like you’d done at the academy. Although neither of you spoke about it you felt drawn to one another and Azula acted differently around you. She sought you out more than the others, always kept the closest proximity to you and paired Mai and Ty lee and you with herself whenever you had to split into teams. As you fell into old habits all the past feelings came back and you began to worry at all the dangerous situations Azula was putting herself in just to please her father. She’d infiltrated Ba Sing Sei without any backup besides you, Ty lee and Mai which terrified you. Of course her plan worked but still you were so grateful Azula had been unharmed and managed to take over the whole city without any mishaps. You hoped it’d be smooth sailing from there but of course she wanted her brother and the avatar too. You did exactly what she said to try and help her but you couldn’t escape the feeling something would go wrong. Azula had left to go and face the avatar all alone apart from her dai lee agents and you couldn’t get her out of your head. Azula had put you in charge of making sure the earth king and his bear were looked after but you wanted to ensure she was okay so left it to Ty lee and Mai. You followed the secret passage you’d seen Azula take and found your way into a massive cavern filled with people. You spotted Azula fighting the avatar and saw her shoot him with a lightning bolt. He fell to the floor and you gaped at the fact Azula had likely just killed the avatar. The water bender with the avatar then went into a rage and flew through the air using a massive wave to catch him. Azula smirked ready to engage with her and you saw Zuko standing beside her. You were surprised to see Zuko beside her, never thinking she’d actually manage to get Zuko on her side but of course she was a master at manipulation. You smiled at all she’d achieved when you noticed Azula’s uncle Iroh was approaching them. He had flames in his hands and was looking right at Azula who was fixed on the water bender. You gasped at Iroh’s intentions and how nobody was aware of what was going on behind them. You broke out into a run and leapt down the cliff as quick as you could. You were getting closer but you still weren’t close enough. Iroh raised his hands and you went into panic mode. “Stop” you yelled and threw your own fire as Iroh released his own. Your strike managed to hit his off course and it hit a rock beside Azula. Azula and Zuko both jumped and Iroh turned to you. You were now stood blocking his path to Azula and you sensed he still wanted to take her down. You anticipated his attack and blocked it instinctively before firing back your own. Iroh was much stronger than you so you were heavily outmatched when suddenly two flames burst onto the scene. Azula sprang in front and began attacking her uncle savagely while Zuko helped. You were again slightly surprised by Zuko but quickly joined in. With three on one even the dragon of the west couldn’t last long and with a final hit from Azula he fell to the floor. “Seize him and throw him in a cage” Azula spat and walked past him to you. “I thought I told you to wait upstairs” she said fixing her intense gaze on you and you shrugged “I wanted to help and I think it’s a good job I did”. Azula shot you a look at your boldness but you could tell she was more amused than annoyed. “You appear to be correct” she replied curtly before walking past you. You smiled after Azula, admiring how happy she looked and why wouldn’t she? She’d taken over Ba Sing Sei, possibly killed the avatar, brought down her uncle and convinced Zuko to ally with her, all in all it had been an excellent day and Azula had proved herself a force to be reckoned with. You began following her when you saw the guards walking Iroh in the opposite direction. You were going to look away when you noticed he was still staring at Azula. You could feel his anger and knew what his intentions were, he meant to finish the job. In the blink of an eye Iroh burst out of his restraints, threw his guards to the side and took a stance. “Azula get down” you yelled sensing the electricity in the air but he had an excellent shot at her and she had nowhere to go. Instinctively you threw yourself into the path of the lightning. 

Azula also responded instinctively. She conjured her own lightning to meet her uncle’s when she saw you running into the fight, You tried to raise a wall of fire but there wasn’t time, you got hit by the bolt and collapsed. Azula only just managed to direct her own bolt away from you and felt her heart beating rapidly. As the smoke cleared Azula saw your body on the floor rage consumed her. She conjured a huge amount of electricity and sent it all at her uncle. He tried to block it but Azula’s bolt sliced through his defences hitting him square in the chest. Azula didn’t even check to see if her bolt had met its mark, she knew it had so rushed to your side. “Y/n” she yelled and she knelt beside you staring at the smoke coming off your back where the bolt had hit you. Your uniform was partially melted and Azula could smell the burning flesh strongly. "I need water” Azula yelled grabbing you and trying to feel for a pulse. She felt one and felt her own breathing somewhat stabilise too. "Now" Azula yelled and people rushed forwards. Azula poured the water over you "it’s okay" she told as you winced as she poured more. "We need to get her into the pool" she called "someone help me get her to the water". Zuko appeared and helped Azula carry you to a fountain. You were semi-conscious which made Azula hurry even quicker, she wanted to reduce your pain as soon as possible. Azula climbed into the fountain first and told Zuko to pass you to her. She took you carefully and laid you on your back floating. Your eyes closed as you passed out and Zuko called for a doctor. Azula clutched your by your arms keeping you close to her in the water "you will not die y/n" she snarled "you will be fine do you hear me?". You didn’t respond. 

Later

You woke up face down on something soft and tried to move your face away from it when shooting pains erupted along your spine. You felt like your back was cracking open and groaned loudly. "Careful y/n" you heard someone say and saw it was Ty Lee. "Ty lee? What happened?". "You got burnt" she explained "on your back..luckily Azula cooled you in time to stop any long-term damage but it’s still really sore so be careful". You reached for your back and flinched at the slightest touch of it. "Stop" Ty lee told you "Azula said i’m to watch you and make sure you rest, apply more soothing cream on it every three hours and just basically always make sure you're okay!" she told you cheerfully. You shook your head "Ty lee i’m fine you don’t have to sit guard over me" you tried to sit up and went pale from the pain. "Don’t do that" Ty lee cried rushing to your side "if you want to get up i can pile some pillows in front of you for you to lean on. I don’t think you can sit up for a while". You pouted annoyed but asked Ty lee to bring you said pillows and managed to pull yourself up onto your elbows "so what happened? Tell me everything". "Well thanks to you we managed to stop Iroh escaping and hurting Azula, we took Ba Sing Sei and the avatar is dead". "Wow" you said surprised "That is... a lot". Ty lee nodded “Ow and Zuko’s back on our side". You nodded and smiled "I bet Mai is happy". Ty lee grinned too "she is i haven’t seen her since we started for home". "We’re on our way back?" you asked and Ty lee nodded "yes but Azula said me, you and Mai are to stay with her even after we arrive back in the capital, she said she still has a need for us". You smiled laying your head down blushing slightly, Azula had kept her promise, she wasn’t letting you go. You sighed happily and Ty lee smiled "y/n?". "I’m just glad to be going back" you smiled "i think we'll have lots of fun". You had been dozing when the sounds of the door made you jolt awake sending shooting pains down your back. You winced but prepared yourself for an attack until you saw her. Azula raised her hands as she saw you jump and she smiled "just me". You relaxed "Azula, sorry i was asleep". "Don’t apologise you need to rest after what happened, i just wanted to come check on you. We'll be in the fire nation in a few hours". "That’s good news" you smiled and Azula nodded "how does the back feel? Ty lee says you’re doing as well as can be expected" Azula’s eyes drifted to your back and you froze. You were now very aware you were laid on your front with only a blanket covering your bare torso from Azula’s eye. Azula stepped closer and you rushed to explain and stop her inspecting you. "I’m fine" you told her "the burns aren’t too bad, they hardly hurt at all". Azula raised an eyebrow "then you won’t mind me having a look?" and stepped beside you. She reached for the blanket and you grabbed her hand with an uncomfortable strain "wait, i lied...i don’t want you to see it, Ty lee says it looks bad. It’s in the blistering stage and yes it hurts but everything has already been done for it and me so you don’t need to see it or check on me". Azula titled her head to one side as you couldn’t meet her eye and she sighed sitting on the floor beside your bed. "It will scar but unlike Zuko you can wear yours with pride" Azula said forcefully and you looked up at her shocked "with time i’m sure it will simply resemble a tattoo" Azula explained. You turned on your side to look at her, something you’d practised with Ty lee and could now manage. "Ty lee told me you did as much for me as you could...i can’t really remember it but..". "Do you remember jumping into the path of lightning for me?" Azula said "without protecting yourself or even any concrete attempt to do so, and what for?". You sighed thinking Azula was angry at you "i...i know it was reckless and stupid, it went against everything we were taught at the academy but I don’t know Azula, i did it without even thinking. I saw it heading for you and you weren’t ready! It would hit you and i just did it without hesitation, i know it seems stupid and emotional but i don’t regret it Azula i’d do it again" you told her sighing, feeling she wouldn’t understand. "I know that might sound stupid...why i’d do that for you but Azula i..." you started as Azula cut you off "y/n". Azula gently raised your head with a hand helping you to look at her. You were confused by Azula’s gaze, it was soft but at the same time intense, you couldn’t recognise the emotion, was she angry? Happy? Excited? Apparently it was somewhere in the middle. Azula leant down to you, hand on your cheek as she ghosted her lips over yours. You felt a sensation like water being thrown over you as Azula kissed you softly and quickly before pulling back "i don’t completely get it but i understand" she smiled blushing softly "i think I can imagine why you did it" she said looking away from you "thank you for saving me". You were speechless, Azula was thanking you? Azula understood why you did it? Did that mean she liked you too? She’d just kissed you so of course she did! Or was that what she thought you wanted? Azula had been used all her life, did she simply think you did this in order to make gains with her? 

Azula smiled slightly to see your brain short-circuiting at her actions and stood up. "i just wanted to make sure you were okay so now I know you are i’ll let you go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we’re there". You nodded still confused and watched Azula walked away. You weren’t sure what had just happened but you knew you had to make Azula realise you didn’t do this just to use her. "Azula" you said suddenly "is that...what you just did...if that was my reward or what you think i wanted from you after today...i didn’t save you because i was expecting a reward or anything from you so what i’m saying is you don’t have to compensate me if you don’t want to. I didn’t do it for any reason other than to keep you safe". 

Azula blushed suddenly and felt her emotions swirling, she realised she was happy. To hear you express openly your desire for her safety filled her with excitement and she realised nobody had ever cared for her before like you did. Azula nodded slowly "that is welcomed news y/n" she smiled "but i didn’t reward you like that as a forced compensation either" she told you "although my intentions were personal and selfish i suppose”. 

You smirked slightly and nodded "good...i mean fine with me". Azula nodded "i’m glad we understand each other, good night y/n". "Good night princess Azula" you said savouring the words and Azula’s eye twitched but she maintained her calm expression and bowed leaving. You lay back giggling as realisation (and the medication you were on for the pain) set in. Azula had kissed you and told you she didn’t do it because she thought she had to but because she wanted to! For selfish reasons!!! You wrapped yourself in your blankets and didn’t stop smiling even in your sleep.

____

Is it just me who loves the idea of being in a secret relationship with the princess of the fire nation? I feel like Azula would excel at sneaking around the palace and would like rebelling against Ozai for once

[guzhuangheaven]

Guzhuang Appreciation Month: badass dialogues

(but in the novel)

legend of ruyi :: ep 5 // ep 78

This drama is so amazing, demonstrated by these two scenes. Here you have Ruyi and Hongli watching the same play at two different stages in their lives. In episode 5, they are still clearly in love and are happy watching the play together, leaning lovingly against each other and moving in unison as one. They are also being watched fondly by Aruo, who has yet to have ideas of betraying Ruyi. Many years later, in episode 78, we have Ruyi and Hongli watching the same play, but they are physically far apart and their emotional distance from each other is also clear on their faces. They are literally being divided by the presence of Ling Yunche standing between them.

I find the parallel between the closeups of Aruo and Ling Yunche the most heartbreaking, because Aruo, despite how happy she looks for them in ep 5, would eventually try to break Ruyi and Hongli apart. And yet for all her efforts, she never succeeds because Hongli never actually believes her. On the other hand, Ling Yunche never tries to get in between Ruyi and Hongli, but just the mere presence of him is enough for Hongli to drive a wedge between himself and Ruyi. The presence of Aruo and Ling Yunche in this scene drives home the stark contrast in how the relationship has deteriorated between Ruyi and Hongli, and how Hongli went from trusting Ruyi despite all evidence against her to believing the worst of her despite no real evidence. 

What is even more heartbreaking is the play they are watching. It’s not made very clear in the drama, but the plot of the play has great significance in the novel. The play they are watching is called 墙头马上 / Over the Wall and Atop a Horse. The play is based on the poem 井底引银瓶 Silver Vase at the Bottom of the Well by Bai Juyi.

The poem by Bai Juyi, writes of a broken relationship/friendship where two people once lived happily in harmony, then one person wronged the other, causing the other person to leave and never come back; the relationship is thus severed. 

When the poem was adapted into the play 墙头马上 / Over the Wall and Atop a Horse, the play tells the story of Pei Shaojun falling in love at first sight with Li Qianjin when she was standing by a wall and he was on a horse riding by her house. The two then eloped, and lived together for seven years, having two children together, before they were discovered by Pei Shaojun’s father. Upon the discovery, Li Qianjin was condemned for getting into a clandestine relationship and Pei Shaojun caved to parental pressure and divorced her. She went back to her hometown. Many years later, after having achieved political success, Pei Shaojun went looking for Li Qianjin again, and just happened to discover that the two of them were actually engaged as children. In the play, they then reunited, got remarried and lived happily ever after.

There is however a plot point in the Ruyi novel, where Qingying does not like the ending of the play, feeling that the happy ending was forced. In the novel, Hongli and Qingying only know each other in passing at first. Then on the day that Hongli chooses his wives, Qingying is made to attend by her aunt. Before the selection ceremony, everyone is invited to watch a play, and Hongli chooses Over the Wall and Atop a Horse. Qingying, because she dislikes the happy ending, asks the theatre troupe to change the ending of the play so that in the end, Li Qianjin does not actually get back together with Pei Shaojun but stays firm in her resolve to end the relationship between them. After the play ends, Qingying leaves before the selection, but Hongli becomes intrigued by her changed ending and chases after her. This conversation below ensues, in which you can see clearly how Qingying’s belief on the matter stayed constant with her through the years. In fact, she practically predicts her own fate later with her changed ending.

~*~

Qingying stepped lightly ahead, her gown fluttering in the breeze like a white butterfly in flight. Aruo’s face was robbed of all colour and she was crying in despair. “Gege, what is wrong with you? Everything was well, why did you change the ending of the play? If Huang Hou Niang Niang hears about it, what will you do?”

Qingying shrugged. “At most, Aunt will just scold me a little. I just don’t like that ending. Today, I finally got to see how it should be played out. I’m so happy!”

“Gege might be happy,” Aruo said miserably, “but today is the consort selection. If Gege you are not chosen, then what would we do?”

Qingying’s aunt had already intended her to be the Third Prince’s bride, and now that was not successful, she should be pushed to the Fourth Prince instead? If they needed this one forced marriage to prolong their family’s glory, would that mean all women of the Ulanara clan were little better than slaves? It would be better this way. Regardless of whether she succeeded at being chosen to be a prince’s consort or not, she got to see things done her way, for once.  

She only managed a few steps more when suddenly a voice called behind her. “Qingying Meimei!”

No one had ever called her that before. Everyone in the palace simply called her “Qingying Gege”. Curious, she turned her head to find that Hongli was chasing after her.

Thinking that he must wish to reprimand her, Qingying made herself as small as possible.

Hongli only laughed. “I chased after you to comfort you. Xiyue Gege was rude in speech, I feared that you would be offended.”

“Offended? About what?” Qingying asked in a low voice. “Fourth Prince, do you mean to mention the fact that I was rejected by the Third Prince?”

Hongli nodded, frowning. “I only fear such talk will destroy your reputation.”

Qingying laughed, all her teeth showing, against all rules of decorum, which seemed to astonish Hongli.

“I don’t care!” she declared. “There are many things that women can’t necessarily decide for themselves, such as marriage, or family. But at least, I can decide whether to mind those mocking talks, whether to care about them and let them hurt me.”

Hongli looked sad for a moment, whispering, “Your family…” But then he trailed off. Then, with a humourless smile, he said, “Over the Wall and Atop a Horse is the play I chose myself, why did you not like the ending and asked them to change it? I pick a plum blossom, lean against the wall. / You ride off among the bending poplars*. Is that not a lovely image?”

“Yes, it is very nice, it’s just…” Qingying thought a moment then said, “Over the wall and atop a horse we gaze at each other. / I know you, too, must be heartbroken*. From this beginning, the play is full of conflicts, ups and downs, all very compelling, yet in the end, there is a forced happy ending, everyone is forced to be happy, I really don’t like it at all.”

[* excerpts from the poem by Bai Juyi]

Hongli looked displeased, asking, “To be able to mend a broken mirror, husband and wife reunited and at peace again, is that not good?”

“When Li Qianjin was being insulted by Pei Shaojun’s parents, he did not protect her. He watched her leave in humiliation and did not stop her, as if all the love and years they shared did not matter. Such a heartless and weak man who dares not protect his woman, why would Li Qianjin want to get back together with him?”

Her voice was soft, but also full of conviction. Even though it went against Hongli’s beliefs, he wanted to keep her talking.

“To be reunited and together in harmony is the wishes of all families on earth. If Pei Shaojun is willing to start over, why would Li Qianjin not forgive him?”

“Why must a woman always forgive a man for his failings? Wouldn’t that teach the man that it doesn’t matter what hurt he causes? I don’t care, if he hurt her, she shouldn’t forgive him.”

“Women must be soft and gentle, and give into her husband. If she sacrifices a little, bears a little hurt feeling, they can be reunited, isn’t that happiness?”

“If she must be hurt, must sacrifice herself for this forced reunion, then it is already not a good marriage,” Qingying said stubbornly. “In my eyes, Li Qianjin is a woman who is willing to walk away, to severe the relationship, because all trust is gone.”

“If she walks away, wouldn’t that mean she spends the rest of her life alone? Everyone has their own difficult moments, if Li Qianjin is so stubborn, Pei Shaojun is put in a difficult position too.”

“Who isn’t in a difficult position?” Qingying asked. “If the woman can understand the man’s difficulties, can a man not understand a woman’s pain of being cast aside and humiliated?”

Hongli thought for a moment then laughed. “Qingying Meimei, you are much too unbending.”

Qingying merely nodded. “It’s better to live the rest of your life alone, rather than live to old age with someone who already betrayed you once. So it might be harmonious today, but if a conflict arises, what is to say Pei Shaojun will not just forsake Li Qianjin again? It is easy to change mountains**, that is the principle here.”

[** there is a Chinese saying that it is easier to change the course of rivers and shapes of mountains than to change the character of a person… aka old habits die hard but with more stakes.]

Hongli still did not agree with her logic. “Women should place obedience before all and be pliable. If she does not restrain herself and be more accepting for the greater good, then she would just suffer.”

“If one must accept being humiliated for a so-called happy ending, then I don’t want that kind of happy ending,” Qingying repeated.

“Then is Over the wall and atop a horse we gaze at each other so easily forgotten?” Hongli asked, astonished.

Qingyin turned and stared at Hongli. “If it is not easily forgotten, then why didn’t Pei Shaojun protect Li Qianjin? Hasn’t he too forgotten how they once loved each other when he cast her aside?”

Hongli could not argue against her, and finally admitted defeat. “Meimei, you really are something, I don’t know what else to say.”

Qingying laughed in delight.

“Meimei,” Hongli said, stepping closer to her, “you argued so animatedly, you must love Over the Wall and Atop a Horse. Why don’t we go back and hear the play again?”

Qingying hesitated, thinking that it would be a great loss of face if she were to return now. But Hongli was looking at her so earnestly, she found it hard to immediately refuse.

“I’ll go back first, and prepare good tea to wait for you.”

He said ‘wait’, as if he would not move the day along if she did not come. Her heart softened, and she suddenly stopped in her path.

…

[And then of course Qingying comes back to attend the selection. Hongli, who had originally intended to choose Langhua, changes his mind and chose Qingying to be his di fujin, but then Yongzheng interfered and put a stop to it… But the play is one massive foreshadowing plot device that doesn’t get explained much in the drama, but packs a punch when you read this scene.] -h

[c-optimistic]

Soulmate au?

i.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” Kara asks suddenly one day. They’re in Lena’s office, having a rather late lunch, and had lapsed into a rather awkward silence when Kara blurts out her question.

(Mending friendships is slow, tedious work.

But much like all her other goals, Lena doggedly pursues it, determined to see it through.)

“No, I’m a scientist,” Lena laughs, putting her fork down. “Why do you ask? Do you think you found your soulmate?”

She doesn’t know why she asks. She doesn’t want the answer to that. She doesn’t want to hear about Kara’s dating life. Ask her why, and she’d vehemently deny knowing the reason, but the truth is that the thought of Kara with someone else sends poisonous shards through Lena’s chest, twists her all up inside, and leaves her feeling like her world has crashed around her.

(It’s not dramatic at all.)

“What? No!” Kara says to Lena’s ultimate relief. “No, it’s for an article.”

“You’re writing about soulmates?”

“Well, not exactly. There’s this woman here in National City who claims she can find your soulmate.”

“Oh?” Lena says, raising an eyebrow. Kara nods.

“Apparently, she can see the three ‘Marks’ of soulmates.” When Lena just eyes Kara skeptically, Kara grins and shrugs. “I’m serious! She claims there’s the Mark of Pain, the Mark of Skin, and the Mark of String.”

“...right,” Lena says, stretching out the word and smiling when Kara laughs. “So how does it work?”

“Well, I’ve only talked to her on the phone. But she says soulmates are attached in different ways. And she can sense it. Even if we ordinary people can’t. Like, her string theory—”

“—I don’t think that’s what the string theory is, Kara,” Lena interrupts, but Kara’s on a roll.

“I know, I know. But she says she can see it. Red thread, tied from one person to another. Or tattoos on people’s skin that matches in some way, and only she can see.” Kara shrugs. “She has a pretty good Yelp rating. Everyone says she’s gotten it right.”

“That seems more like confirmation bias than anything. And of course she’s making money off this.”

Kara smiles warmly at her, her eyes soft behind the glasses she didn’t technically need. She looks at Lena in a way that makes Lena heart skip a beat or two, that makes her momentarily forget about the past year of difficulty between them. Suddenly, she’s only looking at her best friend, and she’s a little bit in love.

“So you don’t believe in soulmates?” Kara confirms, her smile turning wistful.

“Why? Do you?” She doesn’t know why she asks. She doesn’t really want to know the answer, sure that any response Kara gives will just be a kick to the chest. Another crack in her heart.

She really wishes she hadn’t asked.

“I don’t know,” Kara responds after a short pause, clearly giving it a lot of thought. “But I hope soulmates do exist.” Kara lets out a laugh. “Maybe this woman can lead me to mine.”

(And there it is, that kick to the chest and crack in her heart she expected.)

Lena looks away, pretends to be startled by the time, but even as Kara gathers her things to leave, she secures Lena’s promise to look into this mystical soulmate finder together.

It’s a promise Lena is sure she’s going to regret.

ii. pain

“So, it’s weird that she refuses to see us in person, right?” Lena asks, looking to Alex for some support, which the elder Danvers is only too happy to give. “It’s odd. Why doesn’t she meet us in person?”

Kara shoots them both an impatient look, clearly not impressed with their negativity. “She doesn’t want to be affected by our energies while she’s working,” she explains, checking her phone before looking up and making sure they are at the right place.

“Our energies?” Alex asks dubiously, making a face at Lena behind Kara’s back. She times it poorly; before she can school her features into a neutral expression, Kara has turned to look at them again, her eyes narrowing.

“Being skeptical and being dismissive are two very different things,” Kara scolds them, sounding just a bit testy. “There’s nothing wrong with keeping an open mind, even about things you don’t or can’t understand.”

Alex opens her mouth, clearly about to start a debate, but Lena butts in, silencing Alex with a hand on her shoulder and giving Kara a small, placating smile. “You’re right, we’re sorry. We’ll behave,” she says, squeezing Alex’s shoulder until she lets out a grunt in the affirmative. When Kara is seemingly satisfied, nodding at them briskly, she continues leading them down the street, eyes on the storefronts. Alex, however, elbowed Lena hard the second Kara’s back was turned.

“What’s wrong with you?” she hisses, elbowing Lena again. “We’ll behave?”

“She’s right, there’s plenty we don’t understand, plenty out there in the universe we can’t make sense of, so maybe keeping an open mind isn’t the worst thing—”

“—oh, shut up, you know very well you’re only taking her side for one reason, and—”

“I can hear you two, you know,” Kara says loudly, interrupting their hushed argument. “Also, we’re here.”

She stops and looks up at the rundown tea shop, nestled between an old record store that had clearly seen better days, and a very busy video game and comic book store. Lena tugs on her coat when a few kids eye her as they enter the store, ducking their heads together and beginning to whisper.

“All right, well explain where here is,” Alex says, stepping closer to her sister. “You haven’t actually explained anything.”

Kara nods, gesturing for them to enter the tea shop, the three of them finding an empty table and huddling around it, perching on tiny, uncomfortable chairs. The tea shop is, for the most part, a place Lena would never have entered on her own volition. It’s frilly and pink, photos of cats everywhere, with sticky tables and stifling heat. Yet, there’s also an odd comfort to the place: it smells heavenly, the aroma of freshly brewed tea mixing with a variety of sweets, all neatly arranged at the display next to the register. The customers also look like they’re at home, nestled in corners reading books, tapping away on computers, and even on what looks to be a very engaging date.

It’s nice. Even if she’s skeptical of the reason they came here, she’s glad she’s come across this place. She thinks she may even come by again, especially if their tea is any good.

“So apparently, there are two people who work here who are soulmates,” Kara explains, motioning for Alex and Lena to lean towards her. Lena finds herself swallowing a little when the aroma of the tea shop is mixed with Kara’s heavenly scent. Her mind goes a little fuzzy, and she knows she has a silly expression on her face because Alex is smirking at her. Kara, of course, focused on work and on her explanation, notices nothing. “They have the Mark of Pain. We’re here to observe, see if they actually can feel each other’s pain.”

“I don’t know if I’d like that one,” Alex says conversationally, leaning back in her rickety chair and eyeing the register and the zoned-out employee behind it. “I mean, can you imagine? In my line of work? Kelly would always be in pain.”

“You think Kelly is your soulmate?” Lena asks, a little surprised by the easy way Alex has said it. Like it’s a fact. Like it’s just true. “What about Maggie? How do you know?”

“Who says you have to have one soulmate?” Alex shoots back, shrugging. “Kara’s my soulmate too. Platonically, of course. You, even.” She grins when Lena’s eyes widen, when she opens and closes her mouth wordlessly, confused and overwhelmed and unsure. “What? Just because I don’t believe in this mystic lady doesn’t mean I don’t believe in the concept of soulmates. But who says it has to be romantic? Or that it’s just one person?”

“So what is it?”

“People in your life who enter it and just...stay. Your found family. Chosen family.” She looks away from the employee at the register and smiles at Kara. “Kara agrees. Right?”

Kara, who has pulled out her notebook and has taken a few notes down about the employee at the register, nods distractedly. “We were drunk when we came up with this,” she explains, meeting Lena’s eyes and blushing slightly for whatever reason. “But it just seems—well, it seems silly to think that in the entire universe there’s one person who’d be your perfect partner. That’s also really sad,” she mumbles. “If that were true, who’s to say my soulmate didn’t die with Krypton?” She shrugs awkwardly. “I think sometimes people are just connected. Meant to be in each other’s life. In whatever form that may be.” Kara looks at Lena carefully, her mouth opening and her cheeks reddening further. “Like—” But Lena doesn’t get to hear what Kara wants to say. At that moment, another employee comes in from the back entrance, looking slightly distracted, eyes on the employee behind the register.

“Look,” Alex says suddenly, sitting up straighter as the employee walks by, bumping into a table roughly. “Whoa,” she says, and Lena silently agrees.

Because just as the employee mumbles a curse and rubs their side, blushing furiously and looking embarrassed, the zoned-out employee at the register winces in pain, rubbing that same spot.

A point, Lena thinks, in the strange mystic woman’s favor.

iii. skin

Lena begins researching the strange mystic woman in earnest.

(In her free time, far away from Kara’s eyes or Alex’s judgment.)

Everything about her is frustratingly perfect—perfect enough that Lena is suspicious. The woman’s website is well-made and professional, littered with testimonials and photos of weddings. There are a range of services with a range of prices, and no matter how much Lena digs, she doesn’t see a single bad thing about the woman.

It’s the internet, she thinks as she scrolls through Google reviews, grimacing at the emojis that filled each comment. Surely someone, somewhere would use the anonymity to their advantage to say something less than complimentary.

No one is perfect, Lena thinks to herself. Which means one of two things: this woman is a fraud (more likely) or she has some sort of ability to force people to write nice things about her on the internet (Lena’s had a few drinks when this becomes a plausible option to her).

She doesn’t remember dialing the number on the website, but the next thing she knows, someone with an airy voice is on the other end, asking her if she’s ready to meet her soulmate.

“You’re a fraud, did you know that?” Lena asks. “It’s cruel what you’re doing, really. Telling people there’s someone perfect out there who loves them for them. That’s unkind.”

“Oh, Lena!” the woman says, the airy tone dropping for a moment. “I mean,” she continues, the affectation back, “I’ve been expecting a call from you, Lena Luthor.”

“Oh, have you? Can you see the future as well as the red string connecting people?”

The woman chuckles, and she sounds vaguely familiar. Lena’s drunk mind chalks it up to being drunk. “I can’t see the future,” she says, sounding amused. “I just knew you would contact me after Kara Danvers began her article on my business.”

“Oh?” Lena mutters sarcastically.

“The answer to your question is yes,” she says, and Lena chokes on nothing.

“I didn’t ask a question. The ‘oh’ was rhetorical.”

“No, Lena Luthor, the question you called me to ask. I’ll give it to you, free of charge: yes.”

“I don’t have a question,” Lena denies, not liking the way the woman on the other end of the phone laughs. “Is this how you tricked the others? Tell them what they want to hear, and they write you obnoxiously positive reviews?”

“So you admit it’s what you wanted to hear,” the woman shoots back with glee, that stupid tone gone, and for the second time, Lena swears she knows this voice. “I mean,” she clears her throat, “I haven’t tricked anyone. I just tell people what I see. Didn’t you see the truth at the tea shop?”

“I think there’s a perfectly logical explanation for that,” Lena argues. “Phantom pains, an old bruise, sympathetic—”

“—okay, you’re skeptical,” the woman interrupts, “I understand. What if I show you a second example?”

Lena thinks about it for a moment. “Fine. But on my terms. I want you to find Jess’s soulmate.” She’s just drunk enough that this seems like a wonderful idea. On the other end of the phone, the woman sounds like she’s hacking up a lung.

“Your secretary?” she asks incredulously, once again sounding familiar.

“How did you—”

“—okay, I will do this,” the woman interrupts, rushing to speak. “In two days, you will be able to see her Mark as well as the Mark of her soulmate, just like I do.”

“That makes no sense, what are you—” But she never finishes her sentence. The woman hangs up, leaving Lena looking at her phone, trying to blink away her shock.

By the time she wakes up the following morning, groaning at her hangover and nearly telling Kara she loves her when the reporter shows up to her apartment with coffee and pastries, Lena’s forgotten all about the call.

///

Jess lingers every time she steps into Lena’s office. She eyes Lena oddly, stares at her hands, and shifts awkwardly on her feet. After the third time, Lena rolls her eyes, sets her pen down, and gives Jess her full attention.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No!” Jess says immediately, then grimaces. “Well, yes. But nothing bad. Not really.” Lena waits her out, knowing Jess will get to the point eventually. “My partner and I, well, we had plans this weekend. We’re supposed to leave straight from work, so I was—”

“—oh, right. Your time off. Yes, of course, feel free to leave early.” She picks up her pen, thinking this is the end of the conversation.

“Um, actually Ms. Luthor, I was wondering if you’d be willing to meet him.”

“Meet who?” Lena asks distractedly.

“My partner.” Something must show on Lena’s face when she drops her pen a second time and looks up at Jess, because she hurries to explain. “He’s a huge fan of your work. And he’s a big part of my life. I’d like you to meet him. If you can.” She tacks on the last three words almost as an afterthought, not quite meeting Lena’s eyes.

“Yes, of course. We can—”

“—wonderful, he’s right outside,” Jess says, smiling wide, rushing out of Lena’s office. A moment later, she returns, a tall, charming looking man following close behind.

She introduces them, and for the next hour, they chat amicably, discussing Lena’s work and Jess’s exceptionalism, and the weekend getaway plans. Except, Lena’s not quite sure she retains any of the information she gleans from the conversation—in fact, if you asked her, she couldn’t even remember if Jess had ever mentioned where she and her partner were even going.

Because when Jess’s partner reaches out to shake Lena’s hand, his sleeve rides up just slightly, revealing a small tattoo with Jess’s name on the inside of his wrist.

Lena doesn’t need to see a similar tattoo, with Jess’s partner’s name, on the inside of Jess’s wrist for her to realize what she’s come across.

“Those tattoos are quite nice,” Lena says when they get up to leave, Jess’s partner leaving her office first. “The artist who did them is quite talented.”

Jess gives Lena an odd look. “I’m sorry, Ms. Luthor,” she says, “what tattoo?”

Lena gestures to Jess’s wrist, but when she looks down, the mark is gone.

And that is a second point in the mystic woman’s favor.

iv. string

Lena absolutely, positively, without a single shred of doubt, does not believe in soulmates. The concept is ludicrous. To think that in a massive and constantly expanding universe, the atoms that make her are somehow destined to be near the atoms that make up someone else is an entirely ridiculous conclusion. She does not believe in the concept of a perfect partner, of someone she is meant to be with, of an individual to whom she is forever connected.

(And to be quite frank, there’s a bit of fear too. She doesn’t want soulmates to exist. For one, she’s worried about the prospect that the universe would pay back her family’s misdeeds by forever ensuring Lena does not have a soulmate. And for another, the far more terrifying option, she does have a soulmate, and that poor soul is bound to her of all people.

What an awful, horrible fate—nothing she’d wish on her worst enemy, least of all the person she’s supposedly destined to be with.)

Lena does not believe in soulmates. She doesn’t.

What she does believe in is Kara.

(Kara, who had her back from the day they met. Kara, who had saved her life more than once. Kara, who made mistakes—just like Lena—but had met Lena halfway and worked hard to fix things between them. Kara, who for all her flaws and missteps, is Lena’s best friend in the world, the one person who has seen Lena for Lena, from the moment they first locked eyes.

Kara, who Lena is hopelessly in love with; Kara, who has never shown interest in women; Kara, who has recently taken up the really rather unfortunate habit of telling Lena she loves her every chance she gets.

And then there’s Lena, who swallows down what she wants to say and instead smiles bitterly as she intones, “I love you too, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”)

Lena is pretty smart. She can say so without sounding obnoxious about it, because it’s a generally accepted fact. She’s pretty smart, and she was dumb enough to fall in love with someone who could never love her back the same way. She rather thinks that if soulmates are indeed real, then that wouldn’t have been possible. Then again, perhaps that’s not entirely true.

(She thinks about Alex’s notion of what soulmates are or could be, of Kara’s thoughts on connection, and she thinks that maybe—even if she wants it to—she isn’t meant to be with Kara romantically. If there’s anyone in her life who is her family, anyone Lena has chosen, anyone she has picked again and again and again, it’s Kara.

It will always, romantically or not, be Kara.

And if that’s not the definition of a soulmate, Lena’s not quite sure what is.)

For the second time in less than a week, Lena finds herself dialing a number from a well-maintained website.

“Lena Luthor,” the airy voice says as soon as she picks up. “I admit I’m surprised you’re calling. I gave you proof and your answer. What more can you need?”

“These soulmates you find,” Lena says, trying not to let her disappointment seep into her tone too much, “have you ever thought maybe you’re matching people who aren’t meant to be together romantically?”

The mystical woman makes a noise that sounds like a cross between a snort of disbelief and a huff of amusement. “You’re—wow,” she says, dropping the silly tone, and if her voice was just a tiny bit higher, Lena would swear it was— “Listen. Yes, platonic soulmates are a thing. They’re great. We love them. Some people only have platonic soulmates. But you are not platonic soulmates with—”

“—yes but how do you know something like that, that seems hard to—”

“—it’s like talking to a brick wall,” the woman interrupts, and Lena can hear some sort of scuffle from the other end, as if someone is trying to pull the phone out of the woman’s grasp. “Look,” the woman says after a second, sounding a bit out of breath, “I’m going to tell you something I have never told anyone else. Of the three Marks, the most clear and obvious sign of two people belonging romantically together is the Mark of String.” The woman pauses, and Lena would almost swear that there’s someone else speaking to her. “Here’s what you should do. And I do this free of charge for you, because I’m highly invested in this,” she chuckles as if this is a great joke and then barrels on, “so listen carefully. Tonight, go see the woman you love. Spend the night. If you wake up with a red string tied from your pinky to hers, then you can rest assured she’s the one.”

“I don’t know if—”

“—Lena,” the woman admonishes, and Lena frowns, finally recognizing the voice. “Trust me on this.”

She goes through with it, trusting the not-so-mystical woman.

Except, when Kara sneaks towards the bed she gallantly gave up for Lena, a piece of red thread hanging from her hand, Lena sits up and clicks on the bedside table light.

“You have a lot of explaining to do,” Lena tells Kara.

v.

They’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch, facing each other, Kara sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest, and Lena trying hard (and failing) to act relaxed.

“So?” she prods, gesturing to the red thread still tied to Kara’s pinky finger. “Want to explain your practical joke?”

“Joke?” Kara says in shock, shaking her head immediately. “No, Lena, it’s not a joke. Not even a little bit.”

Lena’s heart skips a few beats at that, but she maintains an impassive expression. “I don’t understand then. Why would you—”

“—remember a few months back, when I told you I loved you for the first time?” Kara interrupts, jumping to her feet and pacing in front of the couch. She doesn’t wait for Lena to respond. “It took me weeks to gather the courage to tell you. And I’d memorized the whole speech, and at the end you just looked at me like I was speaking to someone else. You told me you loved me as a friend.”

“Right, because you meant it as friends, you…” Lena trails off. “Wait.”

An odd look passes over Kara’s face, something like amusement and exasperation. “Alex told me that I needed to be direct with you. But I—even when I tried, it was like you didn’t hear me.”

(Lena thinks back to all the times Kara had said I love you and she wonders if she’s just heard what she expected to hear and not what Kara was actually trying to say.

Her heart begins to pound in her chest at the very possibility.

Did Kara really....?)

“So what? You decided to recruit Nia to pretend to be a mystical woman? To prove what exactly?”

Kara, surprisingly, looks smug. “You recognized her. I knew it. She was way off script on the phone call, and I tried to get her off the phone but she—”

“—Kara, focus. So the whole soulmate thing was fake?”

Kara winces at that. “Well. Yes, technically.” She stills, coming to a stop several feet in front of Lena. “I asked a few people to help out.”

“Wait, so the two people in the tea shop…” Lena trails off, eyes wide.

“Right, two DEO agents. They should definitely look into acting as a career, I mean they had me convinced, and I knew it was fake—”

“—and Jess?” Lena asks, feeling vaguely overwhelmed.

“Special temporary tattoos made by the DEO, easy to rub off, for both her and her partner.” When Lena is silent a touch too long, Kara rushes to explain. “I mean, it was very hard to convince her to do it. She’s incredibly protective of you, she deserves some kind of raise.”

“She does,” Lena agrees absently, getting to her feet and gesturing towards the red string in Kara’s hand. “And this?”

“We weren’t supposed to get to this. I’d hoped the first two would convince you Nia could honestly see soulmates. I was going to tie it to your pinky. The other end would be connected to me, of course,” she raises her hand with an awkward wave. “But you, um. Caught me.”

Lena bites her lip, marvelling at the sheer amount of work Kara and the others put into this. “Who made the websites? They were perfect.”

“Brainy made them,” Kara explains, a frown appearing on her lips and a crease forming between her brows. “Though I guess he made it too well, since you were suspicious of it.”

“Kara, I—” Lena’s not sure what she wants to say, and she’s glad when Kara interrupts her, taking a step closer, looking at her with an earnest expression.

“Listen,” she says, determination etched onto her features. “I love you. In a romantic way. And if there are soulmates out there, then you’re mine. That’s all this was.”

Lena feels tears well up in her eyes, blurring her vision, and she wants to duck her head, to hide, but Kara is there and saying everything she’s ever wanted to hear, and so instead she just closes the last of the distance between them and wraps her arms around Kara, holding her close, face burrowing into Kara’s neck. “All of this just to say I love you seems a bit dramatic,” she whispers, feeling Kara’s arms go around her waist, clutching her tighter.

“I figured you’d need something dramatic to believe it’s true,” Kara jokes, loosening her hold just a bit so that she can pull back and look at Lena.

“You’re my soulmate too, you know. If there are things like that out there. It was always just you.”

Kara grins brilliantly at her, pressing their foreheads together. “Finally,” she whispers.

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Patience

Summary: This maybe the most stubborn patient (Y/n) has ever had to deal with. But they are determined to help the best friends mend their friendship and take care of their patient.

Oneshot

Fluff, a Smidge of Angst, and a Slice of Life

Word Count: 4,255

Requested: @crzy-devil Oh well I was interested in a story where y/n would be jinyoung nurse and jinyoung would be paraplegic and y/n would fall for him was what I was thinking.

Paraplegic! Jinyoung X In-home Nurse! Reader

[Featuring butler/best friend Jaebeom and peacocks: Yugyeom and Jackson {mainly}]

This is my third transfer as a live-in nurse. My first patient was Mrs. Madeleine, she was the sweetest, and I loved waking up to care for her. But it was only temporary until her daughter moved back up to take care of her along with her family. The second patient I cared for was super funny. I took care of them for two years before they transferred to a long-term care hospital. The taxi cab starts to slow down as I look out, finally done reminiscing when my eyes settle on the gated community. ‘This is a first,’ I thought to myself. I gulp as the driver finally stops in front of a two-story brick house. I pay for the cab and tip them a nice amount before walking up the sidewalk to the front of the house.

I ring the doorbell, and they ask, “Who is it?” Come from the little doorbell camera. I smile, “I’m (Y/n), and I am going to be your live-in nurse.” I wait for a response, but all is a sigh before the door opens by itself. Unlike creepy abandoned mansions, behind the door was a guy dressed formally. “I can take your bags up to your room.” My eyes nearly pop out of my head, “No, no, that's okay! I can do that!” He smiles and shrugs, “As you wish, follow me up, then.” I follow him up the winding stairs and notice a built-in lift. I smile good to see they have accommodations built into the house. “Your room will be three doors from Mr. Park’s.” I nod, “Can I see them?” He nods, “I’m Jaebeom, and I’m sure he will want to see you as soon as you settle in.” I smile at him, “I’m (Y/n), and it’s nice to meet you, Jaebeom!” I push my suitcase under the bed and follow him out.

He knocks three times before Mr. Park lets out, “Come in.” Jaebeom holds the door open for me. I walk in and take in the expanse of the room. When my eyes settle on him, I see he is reading a book. “Hi, Mr. Park, I’m (Y/n), and I am going to be your live-in nurse.” He gives a half-smile before finishing up the page he was reading. He puts the book down after bookmarking it. “I do not require an in-house nurse. Jaebeom hired you, not me.” I resist the urge to roll my eyes and decide from that moment to do whatever I can to ease the job off of Jaebeom.

--

It’s been a few weeks, and caring for him has not gotten any easier. He’s been stubborn as all hell and refuses to take any medication in front of me. Unless Jaebeom gives it to him, I sigh as I help him into a bath. And he grumbles under his breath, “What?” I ask softly, “Thank you.” He says with so much venom that I almost scream. I help him bathe, and he continues to grumble the whole time. Hopefully, one day it will get easier and, he’ll accept my help. After finishing and helping him get dressed, I get another venom-filled ‘thank you’. We eat dinner in silence, and he promptly goes back to his room once he finishes his meal.

I go over and help Jaebeom with the dishes and ask finally, “Has he always been like this?” He shakes his head, “You see, when we were younger, he was bright and bubbly. But since his condition worsened after his accident. He absorbed himself into work and has not been the same since. While I admire the dedication, I truly miss my best friend.” I nod as I help Jaebeom put the dishes away, “Have you ever told him?” He sighs, “No, but it’s not like we talk much these days. Before you, I would always help him around the mansion. And our conversations turned terse. He’s the closest thing I have to a family. I love him dearly, and now whenever we talk, it’s strictly business. Last night was the first time we had a whole conversation. It felt good to talk to him again, thank you.” I sigh, “I’m going to do whatever I can to repair your guy’s friendship. I think one of the reasons it got damaged is that Jinyoung wants to do everything by himself. I cannot blame him for that, but sometimes you have to accept the help you don’t want. I know he cares about you, but everyone has a different way of showing it. I can see it in the way he refused my help and only wanted yours because he trusts you with his whole heart. And you care for him with your whole heart.”

The next morning, I come in with his medicine and find he’s looking out the large window in his office. I set it on the desk, expecting him to tell me to shove off as I tell him, “I brought your medication.” His chair slowly spins around, and he gives me a small smile. What did Jaebeom and him talk about to make him smile at me? He looks out the window as he takes a sip of tea and tells me, “I inherited this place from my uncle, but I rarely get to enjoy it. I’m usually only moving from my office to the dining room and the bathroom every day. Because it’s all on the same floor, the only time I can see these beautiful birds is when I look out the window.” He gestures to the peacocks walking gracefully to see one spread its wings and try to court another bird. “I have never been out there either, and I have never seen peacocks in real life before.” He nods, “Would you be able to take me out there?” I nod, “Without a problem, whoever put stairs in this mansion needs a smack” He nods, “Tell that to my uncle...” I laugh, “I’m going to have a long conversation with him.” And for the first time since I’ve been here, I hear him laugh. My heart flutters as he moves his chair to the top of the stairwell. He grasps the top of the lift and swings himself into it. I fold the chair and follow him down the stairs with the chair in hand. I place the chair down and hold it steady as he swings into it. I go over to the french doors and open them. He smiles, and with no malice, he says, “Thank you,” I shake my head and tell him, “It’s no problem.”

-- (Jaebeom and Jinyoung’s conversation) --

“You cannot keep treating them that way, you know?” Jinyoung grumbles, “I know.” Jaebeom sighs, “Well, then you better clean up your attitude.” Jinyoung nods, “I’m going to try, but no promises.” Jaebeom nods, “Okay, I believe you. But please don’t shut me out again.” He nods, “I promise not to anymore. You mean a lot to me, Jaebeom. You're like a brother to me.” Jaebeom nods, “I feel the same way about you.” And for the first time in a long time, they hug it out. “Alright, I have some errands to run in the morning, so you’re completely in their care until later.” With that Jaebeom, leaves telling Jinyoung a good night, and he tells Jaebeom good night.

--

He moves to the middle of the garden and gestures for me to follow. I follow him down the brick-paved walkway until we are in front of a water fountain. I sit next to him on the bench as we face away from the water fountain looking out into the massive garden. “It’s beautiful out here, breath-taking even.” He nods, “It’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with this house.” I nod, and we sit in silence. Watching the flowers move with the wind, the peacocks are further back than they seemed. But they move closer as time goes on, “Did you name them?” He shakes his head, yes, “That’s Youngjae,” He points to the one courting earlier, “That’s Soyeon.” Pointing to the one the peacock was courting. “That’s Bambam,...” He names the one who is poking at the ground with no sign of stopping. I grin as he tells me the two that look like they are talking to each other, “That’s Yugyeom and Mark.” He points to the two white ones, “That’s Seulgi and her sister Siren. The one casting its feathers in the back is Jackson.” I smile, “I think Jackson leads the peacocks.” He shakes his head, “Actually, it’s Seulgi and Siren.” I laugh, “You know, that makes sense.” He nods, “My irritator is coming over… Whenever he sees me in the window, he flys over and acts like he is arguing with me.” The one called Yugyeom starts marching over to us. He pokes at Jinyoung for a second and squints his eyes. He comes over and brushes his feathers over me, and goes back to Jinyoung, and squints again. Jinyoung squints back before Yugyeom pokes his hand. Jinyoung hisses and shoos Yugyeom away. “Do you need ice? Or something?” He shakes his head, “No, just need for him to go find something to do.” I laugh, and he gives me a tight smile.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before I asked, “Why didn’t you ask Jaebeom to bring you here?” He sighs, “He’s my best friend. He shouldn’t be the one doing everything for me. I know he is my butler,... but I couldn’t ask him to do this.” I nod and place my hand on his shoulder, “You know he would do anything for you, right?” I caught a glimpse of his smile. “I feel the same way about him. I’ve just had a harder time expressing it as of late.” I ask the fateful question, “How long ago did this happen?” He looks down, “I’ve always had problems getting around as a kid, but two years ago, I got in a car wreck. It exacerbated it; I no longer had control of my legs. While I had limited mobility before only needing a wheelchair every once and a while. Now I’m here, and I’ve finally accepted it. I’m happy with the life I lead. But sometimes it would be nice if my house did not have stairs. I think that’s the worst part of it. Most of the time I’m stuck to the 2nd level. Because that’s where everything is,...” I nod as he looks over at me. “Well, whenever you want down here. Just ask me, and I’ll be over in an instant.” He smiles at me, and my heart flutters again, and I can’t help but smile back at him.

We watch the peacocks for a while before he smiles and says, “Well, I’m good now.” I nod and follow him back after giving Jinyoung medicine and helping him into his bed. Making sure he is comfortable, I leave and shut the door. Heading over to my room, I see Jaebeom sitting on the window ledge, “Hey, I saw you guys out in the garden today.” I nod with a big smile on my face before joining him and looking out at the traffic. “It’s the first time I’ve been out there. It's super pretty.” He nods, “It is out there, and thank you.” I shrug, “For what?” He shrugs back and goes into Jinyoung’s room. I smile and fall asleep with ease, happy that Jinyoung and I finally got to talk.

I wake up to the smell of pancakes, and I start to rush over to the dining room. Jaebeom sees me come out of my room and gestures towards Jinyoung’s room, and I raise a brow. But follow along and see Jinyoung propped up. He gestures for me to sit in the chair with a tiny table in front of it. “I wanted to eat breakfast in bed with you two,...” He trails off with a slight pink tint. I smile as Jaebeom sets the pancakes in front of us. Before grabbing us something to drink. Jaebeom smiles, “This is nice.” We agree and eat our breakfast in comfortable silence. “We should do this again,” Jinyoung nods, “I think so too. Thank you guys for joining.” I grin, and so does Jaebeom.

--

It’s been a few weeks since then, and it's gotten easier to care for Jinyoung. All three of us can interact and hold conversations. He accepted my help, and we are now seeing eye to eye on a lot of things. Jaebeom and Jinyoung’s friendship has repaired itself, and I’m so happy for them. While we still have our duties, Jinyoung tries to include us in his meetings and his work. Talking about how we care for him and he cares for us. I nearly cried myself to sleep the first time he said that because of how sweet that was. Sometimes you have to crack the hard exterior to meet the inner softie. I think I'm falling for him. I knock on the door with some herbal tea in hand. “Come in,” I come in and sit the tea down and drink a sip of mine. “You asked for some tea, but Jaebeom had some errands to run. Thus he asked me to make it.” He nods, “That’s okay,... I like your company too.” He gestures for me to sit next to him at the window. I bring a chair around, and we drink our tea in peace, and he asks, “Would you like to know more about them?” I nod, “They are Indian Peafowls. In Native American culture, they represent; self-esteem, dignity, refinement, knowledge, pride, and beauty.” I nod, “My uncle brought them over to property when I was little and taught me all about them. In some legends, they represent omens of nobility, guidance, holiness, watchfulness, and protection.” I smile, “That is super cool!” He continues, “I think that they protect this house and keep care of me. No matter what that thing--." He gestures to Yugyeom, the bird that is acting like he is trying to fight Jinyoung. With his feathers bristled and jumping at the window. “Does-- he truly cares.” I laugh and wave down at Yugyeom, and he calms down for a second only to continue. Before Jinyoung puts up his 'dukes', and acts like he’s punching him, Yugyeom falls over and sashes away. I cackle at the two of them, “Oh man, that is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone have that interaction with any animal.” He laughs, “I was about seven when they brought the peacocks over, and I met him first. We formed a special bond since he was a peachick. We used to play fight, and it’s continued into adulthood.” I laugh, “How long have you had this house?” He smiles, “I used to come here all the time as a kid, but when I turned sixteen, they turned it over to me. So about eleven years now.” I smile, “That is sweet of them.” He grins, “Yeah,...” He trails off, and we finish our tea.

“You want to feed them with me?” I nod, and we do the same routine of me, carrying the automated chair down the steps and holding it steady. I grab the feed once we make it past the french doors. We head out further, this time on the brick-paved trail, and spread the feed out around the trail. They notice almost immediately, and they all rush over, and I gasp as I watch them eat. “Wow, can they get any more majestic?” He nods, “Yeah, when they all walk with their feathers out. It’s a sight to see since they only do it once in a while.” I nod and watch them all get enough of the feed and go their separate ways. Yugyeom and Jackson stay before he turns around and shows me his flight and flies to the top of a tree. “Uh, did he just fly? I did not know they could fly. I thought they were like ostriches. Oh my god, this made them so much cooler.” Jinyoung laughs, “Yeah, they are one of the largest flying birds.” I grin, “Oh, wicked.” He agrees before Yugyeom starts squawking at him, and Jinyoung squawks back. I raise a brow but don’t question it as I watch Yugyeom look between the two of us again before he makes a squawk of surprise. I stand up, and he swiftly turns and pushes me towards Jinyoung. “Um?” Jinyoung squawks at him back, and Yugyeom ruffles his feathers and walks away. “Um, what was that about?” He smiles over at me, “He thinks I need a little push, and he is um?...” He looks down at his hands, “He is like courting you for me?” My mouth drops open, but I don’t let out a sound. “I uh,... he thought I liked you before. And for me coming out with you a second time. Probably confirmed his suspicions?” My cheeks turn red, and I look over to see his cheeks are red as well. “Um,... can I ask if his suspicions of you liking me are true?” He nods, “I may,... Would that be crossing a line?” I shake my head no, “No,... I may as well.” We sit there for a moment, wondering where to go from here. “Hey, I thought I would find the two of you out here!” We look over at Jaebeom, and he comes over to us. “Am I interrupting something?” We exchange a look before shaking our heads no.

--

After that confession, nothing really changed. The next month was filled with doing random activities together and going to actual doctor appointments. Jinyoung refused to go into the room alone and dragged us both along. When the doctor would turn away from us, we would make silly faces at each other. While trying to hold our laughter in, which was pretty successful until they would leave for a moment. And we would be in fits of giggles by the time they can back. We would quickly conduct ourselves and grin at each other. These are the moments I would never wish for to end.

--

I get a call from my contracting office, “Jaebeom only hired you for three months and two weeks. So in a week, we will be assigning you to a new place.” When I get off the call, I start bawling into my pillow. I feel at home here. I do not want to leave them. What happens when I leave them? Will their routine go back to normal? I can’t let that happen. And what about my feelings for Jinyoung? I don’t think I am ready to get over them. As I bawl, I hear a soft knock on my door. I quickly wipe my tears and tell them to come in. It’s Jinyoung, “Hey,... Um, are you okay? I think I heard you crying.” My brain battles me on whether I should tell him the truth or fib. And I tell him softly about my company call. He moves closer, and before I can start crying, I feel his hands holding mine. I look up at him, and he squeezes my hands. “It’s okay. I am here. I am not going to let you leave me. Unless... that is what you want?” I shake my head no, “I want to stay here with you,... but I can’t if my contract is over.” He removes a hand from mine and pulls out his phone from the holder, dialing up something. “Hello, I would like to speak to the contracting department.” I raise a brow, trying to hold back my tears still, “Yes, this is Park Jinyoung. I am currently under the care of (L/n) (Y/n). My butler, Lim Jaebeom, called and had you assign them to me. And I want the contract extended indefinitely. Yes,... I know how much that will cost. Now, I wish for you never to call them again. Unless they call first.” He hangs up and places it back in his holder, “J-Jin-Jinyoung?” A few tears slip from my eyes, and he raises my chin to look him in the eyes. “I think I’m in love with you.” He brings up our joined hands and wipes my tears with his thumb. “You don’t have to cry. You’re not leaving.” I nod and throw my arms around him, “I think I love you too, Jinyoung. I am not going to leave you either.” He rubs my back, and I pull back. I look down at his lips, “Aw man, I am interrupting something this time.” We shake our heads, and I peck Jinyoung’s cheek. Jaebeom says, “I was going to ask if you wanted to see Youngjae’s and Soyeon’s baby peacocks but... since you guys are busy.” We roll our eyes, and we head over to the stairwell. Jaebeom raced us down there and opened the doors. “It is going to be a little awkward third-wheeling you guys now. But I think I can get used to it. Considering I have been doing that unofficially for a while now.” We roll our eyes at him again, and he laughs. He leads us over to the pile where the harem is all circled around the bundles of joy.

They squeak at their mother, and we all coo at them. I find myself holding Jinyoung’s hand, and my heart nearly falls apart. I feel a soft peck on my hand and turn to see Yugyeom. I didn’t think a bird could look smug but turns out I’m wrong. Because Yugyeom surely looks smug, I squint at him, and he squints back. Before joining the rest of the harem to stare at the little ones. “I think Yugyeom approves.” Jinyoung looks up at me, “I think so too...”

--

A few days later, after helping Jinyoung bathe and whatever else. Jaebeom tells me to go, get dressed up nicely. I raise my eyebrows at him, and he tells me to go along with it. So I do. When I finish getting dressed, he brings me into the dining room located on the first floor. It’s the first time I have ever been into this one, let alone eat in here. The room is dimly lit with fairy lights hanging all around with a red candle lit and slowly melting. He brings me over to the seat, and I scoot myself in and before I can ask. Jinyoung comes into my view and sits in front of me, “I thought I would make our first date special. So I asked Jaebeom to prepare all of this... I hope it’s not too much.” I shake my head, “It’s perfect.” Jaebeom brings over two plates, “Bon appetit if you need me. I will be in the upstairs dining room. Eating by myself and watching the notebook.” We shake our heads and laugh, “Thank you, my compliments to the chef.” He rolls his eyes and sees himself out.

We eat slowly, “Thank you for taking care of me and falling in love with me.” I grin, “How could I not? Loving you is everything I dreamt of and more.” He blushes at my words, and we eat before he places his hand on the table, and I put mine on his. He intertwines our fingers as we began to realize that this is the beginning of a forever. “With you next to me, I think I can take on the world.” I whisper to him, “We will take on the world together.” I grin as we finish our dinner, and I put the plates in the sink. I quickly wash them before joining Jinyoung. He grabs my hand and leads me over to the french doors.

“Fun fact, baby peafowls can walk three days after they are born.” I gasp, “No way.” He laughs, “Yeah, come on.” He speeds up a bit over to Soyeon and Youngjae. The peafowls raise their heads at us before she lifts her wing. And the peachicks walk around the two of us before rejoining her warmth. I am simply amazed, “Can you believe that?” He nods, “Well, we are like family to these Peacocks, so they want their babies to understand that as well.” I look over at him, “My heart is going to combust with this information.” He grins, “Yeah, imagine me when I was little, and I figured that out.” I grin over at him, “Man, you must have run to your parents, and they must have been so happy for you.” He nods, “They were and asked me to introduce them, of course.” I laugh, “That is adorable. I love you.” I blush as those words slip out, and he pulls me down, and I fall onto his lap, and he kisses me. “You don’t know how long I have wanted to do that.” My cheeks are beet red when we pull away, and his cheeks match mine. “Let’s do it again.” He laughs, and we kiss again. I turn around and look at who is pecking my back to see Yugyeom and Jackson there. Their wings spread, and I cannot help but laugh, “I think they are protecting the peachick's eyes.” He laughs, “I think so too... Let’s take this back, shall we?” I grin and move off of him and place a kiss on his lips again.

[ampintherain]

I’m Yours:

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Chapter VI

Y/N is Kenny Ortega’s ‘niece’ after going through a rough breakup, Kenny decides to fly her over to stay with him, will her broken heart mend?

(Female Reader, NO SMUT, Romance, Friendship, THIS IS MY FIRST EVER FANFIC/IMAGINE, I hope it’s good, Kenny is lifelong family friend so reader calls him Uncle Kenny. I’m British so the writing is going to be British so like ‘mum’ not ‘mom’ yanno?)

Warnings: swearing mostly

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“I don’t need to” he said, causing my heart to flutter, the things this boy does to me. 

Y/N

“Hey! you!” I heard the voice of a Canadian from behind me, I turned around and saw the smiling face of Charlie coming towards me, his torso lowered as he ran towards me with his arms open, I raised my eyebrow at his antics before I was lifted in the air and spinning around, I squealed at the sudden change and lightly tapped Charlie’s shoulder to put me down,

“Let go of me you weirdo” I laughed before Charlie let my feet hit the ground, he stared down at me with a cheesy grin plastered on his face, I rolled my eyes playfully and pushed Charlie towards the trailer, “you, Charles, have to get ready. Busy day today” I smiled, just as I opened up the door to costumes and pushing Charlie lightly,

“Okay beautiful, okay” he said, laughing at me as he closed the door behind him, I blushed at his kind words and turned around to see Madison and Jadah smiling at me,

“Girl, he totally likes you” Jadah stated just as I came up to them, I scoffed playfully and laughed at the statement, “he does! Everyone can see it but you” Madison nodded in agreement, pulling my arm and linking hers with mine, Jadah doing the same.

“He’s always around you Y/n, he always needs you nearby” Madison smiled, “it’s cute, it’s like he always wants to check up on you” she continued to tease, I rolled my eyes at the girl,

“You’re so funny” I drawled out sarcastically, walking with the girls to set, as we walked the girls continued to list the things that ‘obviously show’ that Charlie is ‘in love’ with me,

“He steals glances at you every single chance he gets. He is with you every single time we’re on a break” Jadah started, Madison nodding in agreement, I groaned, the list also contained this:

-I am the first person he goes to every single morning before shooting.

-He watches my Instagram and Snapchat stories repeatedly

-He has my post notifications on

-Madi and Jadah hear Owen and Jeremy tease him about me every day

-Charlie always fixes his hair and clothes every time I’m nearby

-He calls me and only me, beautiful, gorgeous, lovie.

“And and AND! Miss L/n, did you know that every time we’re in a scene and Kenny yells cut, the first thing Charlie does it come up to us and asks if you thought he looked good in the scene, or if you were impressed with his acting or if you thought-“

“Okay okay!” I sighed, cutting Madi off, “oh look, there’s Sav, I’m gonna go. See you guys later” I unlinked my arms with the two girls and ran over to Sav, calling her name,

“Oh hey sweetie” Sav smiled as she wrapped her arms around me, “oh look, there’s lover boy” she whispered in my ear before turning me around by my shoulders, I smiled as Charlie wandered over to us dressed as Luke,

“Ew what do you want Stink” I joked, as Charlie wandered over to us dressed as Luke, smiling,

“You” he answered simply, causing my heart to do a flip, I can’t seriously be falling for a guy this soon, really? I thought to myself, it’s not possible. I shouldn’t. Charlie quickly eased my thoughts as he engulfed me in a tight hug, “I want you” he whispered just within ear shot, “to stop calling me Stink” he pushed me away before running off to set towards Madi, Jeremy and Owen.

I watched as everyone started the scene, and since the girls had mentioned their list, that was all I could really think about. It was like my senses had heightened and I noticed everything that Charlie did. He really did steal glances at me, he really did adjust himself whenever he thought I was looking.

“Right guys, cut. 2 minute break, I’m just gonna check on the scene and see if there’s any adjustments needed for the scene” Uncle Kenny announced, and that was when I saw Charlie pull Jeremy and Owen to the side, they huddled together, I tilted my head to the side and saw Charlie look back over to me, I scrunched my nose at him playfully before beckoning him over, Charlie suddenly went wide eyed and ran his hands over his jeans, he bounced on his feet slightly before heading over to me,

“Uh hey, wassup?” Charlie asked, almost nervously, I smiled up at him and took a hold of his hand, his nerves eased slightly,

“Hey, you were really good” I assured, tugging lightly on his hand and smiling up at him, “you’re little grumpy face is so cute” I complimented honestly. I watched as the nerves washed away and Charlie beamed down at me, my hand still in his as I felt his thumb run lightly over mine.

“Really?” He questioned, I nodded enthusiastically and continued to smile at the sweet boy in front of me, he bounced on his feet and swung our hands slightly, “Thanks Lovie” he smiled,

“You’re most welcome” I replied, he booped me on the nose, causing me to scrunch my nose slightly,

“You’re cute” he tilted his head to the side, staring down at me with his gorgeous eyes, I could feel a blush slowly creep up on to my cheeks, I averted my gaze,

“You’re so silly” I laugh at him, trying to cover up the effect his words had on me, he smirks down at me and turns to look at the set behind him,

“I should get back, are you still gonna be here when I’m done?” He questioned, I looked at Charlie with an ‘are you serious’ look,

“Seriously Charles? Of course I am, I have to wait for Uncle Kenny” I laughed, he slowly nodded, mumbling ‘right’ repeatedly before chuckling and letting go of my hand and running over to the set.

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“Hey” I heard a voice speak from above me, I looked up to see Marcus, one of the cast assistants smiling at me, “can I join you?” He questioned, pointing towards the seat in front of me,

“Oh sure Marcus, of course” I smiled slightly before looking back over to the set, watching my friends do what they did best, I glanced back over to Marcus to see him staring at me whilst drinking from his water bottle, “you okay?” I questioned cautiously, becoming slightly concerned at his prolonged eye contact,

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just admiring your beauty” he winked at me, Marcus was around my age so it wasn’t weird, and it wasn’t like he was unattractive, in fact, he was the exact opposite. He had these piercing green eyes, floppy chocolate brown hair styled down the middle like Leo Dicaprio in Titanic, his nails were painted black, his face was dotted with freckles and he had a small nose ring... however, it still made me feel uncomfortable and I couldn’t really explain why.

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Charlie

I glanced over to check up on Y/n, like I do every single day, I couldn’t stand not being near her, I hadn’t even known her that long and it was like she consumed every thought.

“Who’s that?” I questioned, tapping Jeremy on the shoulder lightly, pointing slightly over to Y/n sat facing some guy, they were chatting and I could tell that Y/n wasn’t feeling too comfortable by the way her laugh wasn’t as joyful as it usually is, and how she was shuffling in her seat.

“Oh, that’s Marcus, he’s Tori and Sacha’s cast assistant” Jeremy explained, “he’s like 21” he continued, I nodded and overheard Kenny call for a 30 minute break, that was enough for me to put on the blinkers and make my way over to Y/n.

I wrapped my arms around her from behind, my arms draping over her shoulders as I rested my chin lightly on the top of her head, I felt Y/n jump slightly as the sudden contact of my arms on her, she tensed slightly before I watched her glance down at the bracelets donning my wrists, her body lost all its tension and she traced her soft fingers over my exposed skin on my arms “Hey Lovie, we’re on a break for a half hour, wanna come grab lunch with me?” I asked, Y/n looked up at me and then over to Marcus,

“Uh yeah, you two go. Um it was nice talking to you” Marcus mumbled, getting up from his seat “I needed to get back to work anyway” he laughed shortly before heading over to Sacha’s trailer, Y/n stood up and smiled at me,

“Thank you... I was feeling kinda awkward” she giggled slightly, I tilted my head slightly as a signal for her to explain, I knew it was something more than what she was letting on, “my ex, he um dressed and looked similar to Marcus, kinda made me feel weird” she explained simply, I tugged her arm lightly and brought her into my arms, rubbing my hand up and down her back, I could feel her body shake slightly as small and quiet sobs left her body,

“Hey, hey” I whispered quietly, resting my chin atop her head once again, “he isn’t worth these tears beautiful girl, you deserve so much more” I soothed, Y/n sniffled slightly before removing her head from my chest, she wiped away her tears and looked up at me, her eyes glassy, she smiled weakly and nodded,

“I’m not even crying over him... it’s just, I don’t know...” she sighed in defeat, I waited for a few seconds before Y/n continued, “I just feel like maybe I don’t deserve to be loved, I was with him for so long and for half of it, he was with somebody else...” Y/n mumbled, fiddling with her t-shirt nervously,

“You” I began, taking her hands in mine to stop her fiddling, “my Lovie, you are more than deserving. You deserve the world and more, he just is too blind and stupid to see how amazing you are, you’re beautiful Y/n, so beautiful” I cupped her face in my hands as she looked down,

“But Quinn is everything I want to be, she’s so so beautiful, I don’t know why I thought Zac would just want me, always, y’know? Especially considering Quinn was always around... I was so stupid” Y/n sighs in defeat, I watched as she went to speak again, about to tell me more self-deprecating words but before she could I cut her off.

“Nope, don’t say anything else misses, I don’t want to hear you put yourself down anymore okay?” I stated as I took her hand and began to walk with her to catering, I walked slowly just in case, I didn’t want anyone in catering to hear this sensitive conversation with Y/n “Look Y/n, you’re incredible, I’ve never met this Quinn but I can guarantee you that your beauty goes above and beyond what Quinn has. Not only physically but your personality is the most beautiful thing. Zac was stupid to let you go but he’s done the rest of the world a favour because now us single guys have a chance at having you.” Y/n blushed slightly at my words before laughing and shaking her head,

“That’s not true” she stated, dropping her head, she continued to walk as I stopped in place, I pulled her back lightly, “it’s not Charlie...” she continued

“It’s one of the truest things I’ve ever said, look Y/n, you’re perfect, absolutely perfect, I have never met anyone as beautiful as you and I doubt that I ever would. Zac truly is the biggest doofus” Y/n giggled at my use of words, “he is! He’s an idiot for letting you go Angel, he truly has done the single guys a favour because we are always searching for a girl like you. A girl with a kind smile, joyful laugh, twinkling eyes. You are everything that anyone would want” Y/n looked up at me through her eyelashes as a tear slipped out, I quickly caught it with my thumb, wiping it away.

“Really?” Her voice cracked, half smiling up at me, “you really mean that?” I nodded happily,

“I really really mean that” I assured, “come on now Lovie, let’s go get some food” I changed the subject quickly in order to make Y/n feel a bit lighter in mood, I bent down and tapped my back,

“What are you doing?” She laughed.

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Y/N

“Get on” Charlie whined, I rolled my eyes and jumped on Charlie’s back, he adjusted my comfortably before walking further towards catering,

“So what’re we having this time?” I questioned, Charlie shrugged, “how about waffles with peanut butter, bananas and maple syrup?”

“Oh definitely! That sounds like the best, I’m gonna have some pringles with mine though” Charlie said as he placed me back down on the floor, we walked together through the catering hall before grabbing our food,

“Your obsession with putting pringles on things is disgusting” I joked, rolling my eyes. We both sat down at a table with Owen, Jeremy, Madison and Savannah. Jadah was still grabbing food with Sacha and Tori.

“Look at this Charlie, look, Y/n knows how far to go- this waffle looks amazing” Owen said, pointing down at my waffle, “I bet you it will taste great” I nodded and offered Owen a bite, he accepted happily and nodded approvingly, “see? Yep. Amazing... but this! This travesty in front of you. Too far” I laugh at Owen’s dramatics and continued to eat my waffle,

“Don’t knock it unless you try it O, this is amazing” Charlie said as he squashed the Pringles in his waffle and took a bite, i scrunched my face in disgust as Charlie munched happily.

“Nope... I’m with Owen on this one. It’s gross” I said,

“Charlie, you’re nasty” Madi joked, causing the table to laugh, “you need to be checked” she continued, Charlie rolled his eyes and continued to eat his concoction happily.

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“Hey Y/n/n” I heard Charlie call at the end of the day as I was walking towards my Uncle Kenny, I stopped in my tracks and turned around, smiling up at the bouncing boy,

“Hey Bub” I smiled, the new nickname causing Charlie to blush slightly and smile at me, “what’s up?” I questioned, Charlie began to shuffle on his feet nervously, “hey... Charlie... talk to me” I assured soothingly, Charlie took a deep breath and nodded

“Okay, so” he began, looking everywhere but me, “Iwaswonderingifmaybeyoupossiblywantedtogoutwithmetonightmaybe” Charlie said quickly, so quickly that I couldn’t pick up what he was trying to say,

“Huh?” I asked, tilting my head, “I didn’t catch a word of that Charlie” Charlie took another deep breath and finally brought his gaze to me, keeping eye contact, I watched as his pupils dilated causing me to tilt my head in confusion,

“Okay okay... right” Charlie mumbled, still looking at me, “I was wondering” he began as he fiddled with his fingers, I reached over and took a hold of his hand smiling, his nerves quickly dispersed as his eyes searched my face, “I was wondering if maybe... you would wanted to go out with me tonight...? It’s fine if you don’t want to, I get it like you’ve just gotten out of a relationship and you’re still hurting, I get it but” Charlie rambled, I giggled at his adorable state and shook my head,

“Charlie, I would love to go out with you tonight” I smiled, Charlie looked up at me and scrunched his eyebrows together,

“Really?” He asked, “you really want to?” I nodded and swung our hands together,

“I really really want to” I went up on to my toes and planted a light kiss to Charlie’s cheek,

“O-okay, right. I’ll pick you up at 8?” He questioned, I suddenly was glad that today was a half day shoot, it gave me enough time to prepare and possibly go shopping to get a new outfit,

“8 sounds perfect” I smiled, Charlie nodded and jumped lightly on his feet before pulling me in for a hug, leaving a light kiss on top of my head and suddenly running off to his trailer, waving goodbye to me.

“I told you he liked you!” Madi yelled from behind me, I span on my heels and half smiled at Savannah, Jadah and Madison all huddled together smiling widely at me,

“Okay okay” I gave in, “you three are geniuses, but can you please help me out? I have no idea what to wear...”

“Oh my god, shopping?” Savannah questioned, Tori came up from behind me, wrapping an arm over my shoulders,

“Hey girl,” Tori smiled, “I heard shopping” she joked, “what’s the occasion?”

“Well our lovely Y/n has got herself a date...” Jadah trailed off before rushing over to me along with Sav and Madi, they all cuddled me in and squealed with excitement,

“Wait wait... with who?” Tori questioned excitedly, “is he cute? Do we know him?” She continued, we all pulled away from our hug just as Charlie walked past with Owen and Jeremy, he glanced over at the small huddle of girls and smiled at me, my lips pursed in pursuit of trying to hide my smile as I glanced down at the floor, “no way! I knew it!” Tori whisper-yelled.

“Okay I get it, you all told me so” I laugh, “now can you please help me!” I begged, tugging on Tori’s arm, the girls laughed and nodded, I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Kenny telling him the situation and he quickly replied saying it was all okay and that he was going out for the evening with Mr Reyes anyway.

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“Okay so we’ve settled on this dress right? Have you got anything to wear with it?” Savannah questioned as she held up a burnt orange dress, I nodded,

“I just don’t have any shoes” I admitted, the four girls in front of me nodded, Madi took a sip from her smoothie before pointing over to a shop,

“Why don’t we try over there?” She asked once she had taken a sip of her drink,

“Yeah why not, let’s go” Jadah agreed, I quickly ran over to the counter with the dress for the date alongside some other clothes that I just wanted to buy because sometimes I just couldn’t help myself before going back over to the girls, Jadah took me by my hand and walking with me and the rest of the girls to the shop Madi had suggested. We looked throughout the shop, each girl picking up shoes and showing them to me for my approval.

By the end of the 3 hour shopping trip, each girl had bags upon bags of clothes, accessories, shoes and anything else that they wanted to buy, me included. “Well I’d say that was successful” Savannah commented, causing us all to erupt in short laughter, “it was fun having a girls day! We need to do it again” she continued,

“Oh for sure, this whole thing was very therapeutic” Tori agreed we continued to walk further towards a the parking lot before we all went our separate ways, Mr Reyes was picking up Jadah and Madison, Tori was driving Savannah back home and Uncle Kenny was picking me up.

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Charlie

“Owen! I haven’t even planned out this date properly, it kinda happened in the spur of the moment. Where do I take her?” I ranted as I paced through the living room,

“Charlie... I don’t think that Y/n is going to be the kind of girl that really cares about where you take her, I also think she’s the kinda girl who would want a date that isn’t classed as ‘basic’ you get what I mean?” Owen said in an attempt to calm me down,

“Okay okay... so what do I do? I’ll pick her up at 8 and then I could take her to a small diner in Vancouver and then we could go to a viewing point maybe? Dude I don’t know” I stressed, tugging at my hair,

“Charlie... that’s the best idea, that will work perfectly okay? Do that, I’m sure she’ll love it” Owen said, I nodded and huffed, still stressed out. “You really like her don’t you?” He questioned, I sighed and sat down next to my best friend,

“Yeah man... She’s had me since day one, I’ve been hooked. She’s just beautiful, she’s so perfect. She’s kind and caring and funny... I just want to show her what it’s like to be truly loved because Zac, her ex, treated her like shit” I explained, looking over at the clock on the wall,

“You better start getting ready dude” Owen spoke my inner thoughts as he patted my back and pushed me upwards off the couch, I nodded and walked over to my bathroom to start getting ready.

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Y/N

“You nervous Star?” Kenny asked as we entered the apartment,

“Can you tell?” I questioned back, he nodded slightly, “It’s been so long since I’ve been asked on a date, I hardly ever went on dates with Zac. I think in the entirety of our relationship, we went on like 7 dates” I explained, Kenny took me into his side and patted my head lightly,

“Well I know my Charlie, he’s going to give you the best date of your life okay? No need to be nervous, just think of it as two friends going out, everything will be fine okay?” Kenny assured and he swayed with me. I nodded and rested my head against his chest, “you, kiddo, need to start getting ready” he said as he lightly patted my upper arm, I nodded and carried my bags into my bedroom.

Once I got into my bedroom, I tipped up each bag and watched the contents fall onto the bed lightly, I rummaged through the pile of clothes and shoes before pulling out the burnt orange dress and some small heeled black boots. I placed those items further up my bed before putting everything else in it’s rightful place. As soon as I had finished putting everything away I pulled out my black turtle neck top and my black socks that went up to just below my knee, I placed those items on my bed alongside the dress and boots.

I quickly hopped into the shower, washing my hair and body and shaving over any growing hairs, I stayed in the shower for around 20 minutes longer than I should’ve due to listening to my music and performing a non-existent concert. I jumped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body and rubbed my hair dry before brushing my teeth and putting on a face mask, I dried my hair with a hair dryer before curling it lightly, letting my hair flow freely once I had finished. I peeled off my face mask and wiped away any residue before applying some natural looking makeup and swiping some nude coloured lip stick across my lips, I set my makeup with some setting spray and placed some curling moose in my hair and hair sprayed it to keep the curls.

I applied some moisturiser to my body before spraying some deodorant and my favourite perfume, I stepped out of the shower and promptly got dressed, I searched for my black crossbody bag that was hidden somewhere in my wardrobe just as my phone chimed, I wandered over to my desk and picked up my phone to see the message from Charlie

>my favourite Canadian🇨🇦- Hey, I’m outside. No need to rush though okay? Come down when you’re ready Lovie ❤️

I smiled down at the text, although it was a small gesture but it was the first time he had sent me a heart and I couldn’t help but feel my heart race.

<I’ll be down in a second, just grabbing my bag ❤️

I rushed into my wardrobe and pulled out my bag before checking myself over in the mirror, Hm, I like it. I thought to myself as I twisted my body to look at the side and back of my outfit.

I rushed out of my bedroom, stuffing my keys, purse and phone in my bag, “you look beautiful Star” Uncle Kenny smiled at me,

“Thanks Uncle Kenny, I gotta go though, Charlie’s waiting for me” I said breathlessly due to the nerves kicking in again,

“Okay Munchkin, you have no need to worry or be nervous okay? Besides nerves are a good sign, it means you like him” Kenny said as he cuddled me in,

“I do like him, I really like him... I shouldn’t though should I? I mean Zac and I broke up not that long ago and I” Kenny promptly cut me off,

“You texted me 3 weeks before the break up with Zac saying that you were feeling off about the relationship, you convinced yourself it was a blip but you knew that you two were heading south. I see the way you look at Charlie and how he looks at you... and how you two look at each other. You liking him is not a bad thing okay? You can’t help what your heart feels so, you go and have fun. You got your keys?” Kenny asked, I nodded and pointed towards my bag, Uncle Kenny ushered me towards the door and waved me off as I rushed down the hall to the elevator.

“Hey” Charlie said as I left the main building, see Charlie stood outside of his car holding a sunflower, “you look beautiful... sunflowers are your favourite right?” Charlie questioned as he handed me the flower,

“Yes they are... and thank you, you look very handsome” I complimented, Charlie was wearing some brown boots, dark blue jeans with a plain white tee and brown courdory jacket. I twiddled the sunflower in my fingers, Charlie opened the passenger door for me and closed it after I had sat inside.

“You okay?” Charlie asked as he drove down the street,

“Uh yeah, just not really used to dates, I haven’t been on many” I admitted, Charlie’s jaw instagntly dropped,

“Wait... you serious?” He questioned “Zac’s such a loser man, if I was him, I’d be taking you out on dates every week” I smiled over at Charlie, “I’m serious”

“I know you are” I replied, “so where are we going?” I questioned, scrunching my nose, Charlie placed a single finger up to his lips, “it’s a secret is it?” Charlie laughed,

“Yes it is Lovie.” Charlie turned the music up and continued to drive for another 10 minutes until he pulled up into a parking lot. “We’re here” he said as he put the car into park, I unbuckled and went to open the door, “ah ah ah, what’re you doing?” He questioned,

“Opening the door...” I said obviously, Charlie tutted at me before ordering me to stay still as he hopped out of the car and opened my door for me, “oh you’re such a gentleman” I joked as I slipped out of my seat, Charlie took my hand in his instantly and intertwined our fingers- yeah Charlie and I had held hands before but never interlocked, this was another small detail that caused my heart rate to race. Charlie closed the door behind me with his spare hand as he moved our interlocked hands over my head so his arm was behind my neck, I readjusted my hand so it held his comfortably as we walked towards a cute diner that had a 50s style to it.

Charlie opened the diner door for me and walked us over to a spare booth, I slipped into the comfortable seat across from him, “this place is so cute” I smiled, looking around at the pink and dark mint green colours of the diner, I reached over and grabbed a menu and looked back up at Charlie, “what?” I questioned as I saw him staring at me,

“You’re just so beautiful” he sighed happily before he reached and took a hold of my hand again using his other to grab a menu and look through to figure out what he wanted.

“What can I get for you?” A waitress asked tapping her pad with her pencil lightly,

“Can I have the Neopolitan shake and the cheeseburger and fries please” I asked, the lady nodded and wrote down my order,

“And can I have the same but with a lemonade?” Charlie said, the waitress nodded and smiled at us before walking off and giving our orders to the chef. I looked over at Charlie as he ran his thumb over my knuckles before lifting my hand up and placing a kiss to my knuckles.

Our food came quite quickly and Charlie and I ate just as quickly, talking slightly in between. Uncle Kenny was right, it was like two friends just hanging out, however Charlie consistently added cute little moments, whether it was taking my hand in his or leaving a few kisses on each of my knuckles or dropping in compliments every now and then. Soon after we had finished, the waitress had come with the bill, “what’re you doing?” Charlie questioned as I reached into my purse,

“I’m paying for my half...” I said, Charlie shook his head and snatched my purse from my hands, “Charles!” I stated, reaching across in an attempt to get my purse back,

“Nope. No. I’m paying. I asked you out on this date, so I’m paying, the next date you can pay” Charlie said as he sent me a wink, I huffed and sat back in my seat, watching Charlie pay for our meal. “Now come on, the dates not over yet Angel” he smiled as he handed my purse back, I tilted my head in shock and slid out of the booth, Charlie tucked me into his side and we thanked our server before leaving the diner and getting back into the car.

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Charlie

I pulled up and parked my car at the viewing point before clambering out and walking over to Y/n’s side, I shook my hands in an attempt to calm my nerves “it’s okay Charlie, it’s been going well so far” I whispered to myself “everything’s fine” I continued before I opened the passenger door, I took ahold of Y/n’s hand and closed the door behind her, I brought us to the front of my car and sat on the hood, tapping the spot next to me for Y/n to sit.

“Wow” she said as she saw the lights of the city, “this is so beautiful” the girl next to me snuggled into my side voluntarily and I slowly wrapped my arm around her shoulders bringing her in closer, playing with the curled ends on her hair and that was how we stayed, sat in comfortable silence, her soft hair falling over my fingers as I twirled the curls, Y/n’s hand placed softly on my chest drawing faint pictures.

“Hey” I said quietly after 15 minutes of the comfortable silence, “are you cold?” I questioned as I felt the girl shiver in my arms,

“No no, I’m fine” she smiled and waved me off, I shrugged my jacket off regardless as I knew she was lying, I draped the jacket over her shoulders and watched as she slid her arms through the holes, wrapping the jacket around her torso tightly,

“You look good in my jacket” I said, playing with the collar before pulling her hair out of the back of the jacket that it was tucked within, Y/n blushed and lowered her head, her gaze focusing on the sleeves of my jacket, I tilted my head, this is is Charlie... I thought to myself, I sucked in a deep breath before slowly breathing out to try and calm my nerves, I lifted my hand and tilted her head up to look at me, I watched as her pupils dilated once they had focused on my face and smiled at her, “okay... I’ve been wanting to do this for weeks...” I trailed off causing the beautiful girl in front of me to become confused, her eyebrows knitting together slightly and she bit the inside of her cheek, twisting her mouth to the side.

“Do what?” She questioned, I didn’t reply, instead I cupped her face lightly in my hands and brought my face closer to hers, I felt Y/n close the gap as my eyes fluttered shut, I leant in closer and before I knew it my lips were on hers, they were softer than I ever imagined and they tasted a bit like the shake she had earlier, our lips moved in perfect harmony but before I knew it, we were both pulling away.

“Sorry... was that” I said before I was cut off by Y/n’s lips back on mine for a short but sweet kiss.

“It was perfect” she smiled, I nodded and pulled her in for one more kiss, quickly becoming addicted to the feeling it gave me.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 💜

♡︎Taglist: @thesweetestsinner @ifilwtmfc @ashleyleblancx @chloepart03 @obxflowr @nocturnalherb16 @spn-marvel-nerd @jenfox25 @siennanoelle01 @sovereignparker @dpaccione @robbstarkmademedoit ♡︎

[1kook]

Hi Everyone, please read

tw// racism

First of all, I just wanna say I’m so grateful for all the nice anons and interactions I get to have with people here everyday. I live in a densely populated city so quarantine regulations were super tough when this all started in March and remain strict even all the way into October. I haven’t been able to see my friends a lot or anyone outside of my family and job, which really sucked, but it was fine because I had my blog! The beginning of September I had two fics that did so amazing and of which I am so thankful for their response, because with that came a lot of new anon friends!

I have been on tumblr since 2012, but I have never received the same amount of interaction as I do now. I’m so happy I can interact with people on here be it anonymous or not. I enjoy hearing ideas and doing my best to fulfill them, hearing about someone’s day, and laughing about stupid jokes. It’s gotten to the point where some have picked names and further fleshed out our friendships because of how close we’ve gotten!! I have had so much fun everyday asking stupid questions and getting equally as silly answers and it’s all because I was able to make people feel comfortable on my blog.

However, people are not always nice. That’s fine! It’s the internet, this will always happen. Rarely do I get hateful anons and rarely do I post the few I do get. Sometimes they’re funny and I laugh and go about my day. Most anons have been about my style as an author, the types of fics I put out, and for the most part, the similarity in all my fics. I’ll address this now. if you feel my fics are all the same then consider this.

1. I write fics FOR MYSELF about ideas I have and want to see, and post them FOR MYSELF. I don’t mean to sound cocky but at the end of the day every fic i have ever posted is just me filling my own imagination in a self indulgent way. They’re all the same because they’re all things I like??? Things I want to read??? No offense, but unless I am filling a requests, you’re GONNA SEE jk college au. jk boyfriend. jk dom/sub. jk this and this. Why? Because it’s my blog and I post what I like.

2. If you don’t like my fics.... don’t read them? I am not holding you at gunpoint to read these fics nor is anyone else. If you appear on my blog to complain about my fics ... okay?? I’m not gonna change them lmao. You’re not the target audience, so move along.

But truthfully speaking, this is not the main reason I am making this post. Do I care what people online think about my fics? Mmm not really. Writing fics is something I do in my free time as a hobby. I’ve never wanted to do this professionally lmao. I do it for fun when I’m bored or procrastinating. I have other hobbies I do too. I journal i paint i play soccer I listen to music. I frankly am not offended when people critique my work, especially not when they chose to do it through an anonymous message.

What DOES offend me is when people abuse the anonymous option to be spiteful and hateful, and use my ethnic background against me... OVER KPOP. OVER FAN FIC ABOUT KPOP.

Am I offended about the first part of the ask? No I don’t care. What I am disgusted and disturbed by is that you have been blatantly racist and ignorant not only to ME but to ALL OTHER POCS with the second half of your message. Being a POC writing for BTS is bad?? What do you prefer I write about? Shawn Mendes? Niall Horan? I’d rather choke. What do you even mean??? Am I supposed to write Can fic for completely unproblematic people?? Give me an example?? Furthermore, I am not black so for you to come in here and disrespect black people with your last comment is immature, disgusting, and racist. Go to hell.

I deleted the message. I always delete excessively rude messages. I was hoping it was a one time occurrence but nope. A few hours later.

My status as an undocumented immigrant is something I have shared on tumblr because it is my safe space and somewhere where no one in real life knows me. Did you think this was funny? Did you think I actually laughed? I didn’t. I won’t lie. This ask terrified me. You’re threatening to call ICE on me.... OVER KPOP? OVER FAN FICS OF KPOP? How old are you. How immature do you have to be to take it this far.

I deleted this message and turned off anon. I am not gonna let some anonymous grey sunglasses orb abuse the anonymous option like this. Honestly, I knew another message was bound to follow up and it did 🤗

thanks for showing me your face, doll. I reported your account and so did a bunch of friends of mine. It’s funny that you mention writing better content but your blog is only ten posts? 9 of which are reblogs of fan fics? What do you write babe? What do you do? Where do you post? As I’ve said before I frankly don’t care for writing advice, this is just a hobby. But if you’re going to claim you’re some modern day Shakespeare maybe have the proof to back it up. Also your first posts says you’re a black woman, but your first ask to me says POC shouldn’t enjoy BTS.... honey all your posts are about BTS. So what’s the truth? Do we enjoy them or not? Next time you feel some type of way towards me as a Mexican woman, don’t start off by hiding behind anon until I force you off, don’t disrespect me or other POCs, and don’t use a burner account like you did. And for the record. I barely believe you’re black, and honestly speaking, everything about your asks have racist undertones only a white person could carry out.

Anyway. I am posting this because I want to highlight just how difficult it is to be a POC in this fandom. Army preach about being this or being that. We love each other. We look out for each other. ARMY is family blah blah blah.

No we’re not.

I have been an ARMY since 2015. The only places I have ever found comfort within this fandom are with other POCs, and even then it is only a few people here and there. This random ass hoe that I have NEVER interacted with before decided to take the fact I am a POC and taunt me, attack me, harass me, whatever you want to call it, and didn’t come off anon until I forced them off.

I am so beyond tired of being a POC in this fandom. When will you all recognize that one “I stand by” post is never enough to support us. “I can’t be racist I support BTS’s message💜” shut the hell up. You kiss these men’s feet for being your woke kings but then turn around and say things like this. Was it fun? Was it cool parading around in your ‘I do whatever BTS does’ cloak? You guys pick and choose when you want to be a model ARMY, and then turn around do things like this. Over kpop. Your allyship means nothing when there are still people like this in fandom who try to bully me OVER KPOP. OVER JUNGKOOK. OVER A MAN WE DONT KNOW AND NEVER WILL KNOW.

Please don’t interact with this person. Please just block and report them.

Anon’s gonna be off for a while, thanks for reading.

[parcoeurs]

Extremely fascinated by your wag AU tag 👀.

thanks bestie so am i.

okay lmao so this isn't an actual fic that'll ever be written but. i was talking to my friend about it who still hasn't finished dts season 3 unfortunately but it means that i've switched around ages and years etc. i promise this has the potential to be a fun and sexy time but there's just s o much background shit that needs to be discussed. tw for mentions of irl deaths etc:

but pierre & charles meeting when they're 5-6 (which is what i think charles actually says irl but someone said it might've been closer to when they were 10-11? regardless.) and charles' dad passes away when they're 9-10, and jules when they're 13-14 and charles quits racing then. (fyi i know that irl jules passed away first)

he thinks about quitting when his dad passes away but keeps going with help from jules. so when the accident etc happens, it's not even like an active decision he ponders. he just knows there's no way he'll race again.

and pierre's been with him throughout everything, his best friend who he can talk to when he can't bear looking at his own family. so he doesn't understand when pierre tells him he's going to keep racing. when charles had told him he was never going to get into a kart ever again, pierre had nodded, grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. important to note that they're barely teenagers rn so yes charles feels betrayed that pierre isn't feeling the same things he is and isn't choosing the same future for himself etc.

they have a huge fight, lots of crying, lots of dramatic teenage angst. but it ultimately ends with charles shutting pierre out of his life. which is easier said than done when it's your best friend whose family is super close with yours. but it works because pierre is off racing around the world and charles has done all he can to never have to think about that stuff.

so charles goes to school, is doing uni somewhere in europe. studies something generic like business or maybe if i'm feeling suuuuper indulgent i will have him major in environmental studies like moi <3 pointedly does not come to monaco during grand prix weekend or the week before or the week after.

and then anthoine passes away too. (they're 20-21 now)

they see each other again at the funeral but don't talk, they meet up afterwards. pierre breaking down in charles' arms, clutching at his back, telling him he was right. pierre should've quit, he can't do this anymore either. they haven't said a word to each other in 7 years but charles still knows pierre, and knows that this isn't actually what pierre wants. or what he should do. (charles vaguely knows pierre's in f1 but doesn't know he's with redbull, doesn't know redbull's the top team etc)

"you can still do this, you will," charles tells him.

"not without you again."

so then comes the challenge of mending their relationship while still working through the shared trauma, and the Layers of past trauma. and also just the general awkwardness that comes with a friendship breakup/makeup situation you know! they can't just act like nothing happened but would it be easier that way?

they start texting first, then they play fifa or cod together. (sometimes pierre's british friend lewis joins too.)

slowly slowly slowly, they become friends again and then inseparable too. maybe even closer than they were before and charles only now realizes how much he missed pierre. while pierre still can't believe he has charles back now, it's as good as he let himself imagine.

the part i'm unsure about is if i would want pierre's career trajectory to be the same or not. because i think the demotion adds SUCH a painful but interesting aspect to his ~storyline. but ultimately i think maybe he just doesn't get the second seat immediately. spends more years with toro rosso/alpha tauri before getting "called up" (sorry i have no idea what the proper terminology is haha ignore the nba/nhl terms).

he invites charles to his first race in the red bull and charles says no. immediately. pierre's quiet on the other side of the phone, internally thinking he messed this up somehow. he thought things were going well and he takes this as charles doesn't want to see him. but he knows there's a lot more that's stopping charles and he also knows charles will definitely pull back if pierre asks about the other stuff. so he moves right along, asking charles about school, the weather, and tries not to let it show in his voice that he misses his best friend and needs him too.

"i'm going to try to watch," charles says, after pierre's yawned goodnight through the phone and is waiting for him to hang up. because you know pierre's not going to hang up first.

"what?"

"the race. i'm going to try. goodnight!" mentally charles slams the phone shut but really he just smashes at the red button before shoving it under his bed and looking at his hands trying to get answers for what he just did.

his only relief is that he didn't promise pierre he would watch, just that he would try. couldn't even choke out a, "good luck." (insert long paragraph about charles letting pierre down or thinking he has).

he only watches qualifying. pierre p3. already knows on saturday that there's no way he can watch the actual race.

but on sunday when he's supposed to be going over his notes for his climate change science & policy course (yes.... i did it...) he finds himself with his heart in his mouth refreshing formula1 dot com. watches the random names move up and down while keeping his eyes on 10 - gasly. (starts shaking for a second when he sees pierre's name drop until the IN PIT sign comes up across his name. fellas the thing about triggers is-- anyways.)

the scariest part is that by the time he's scrolled through all of red bull's socials to look at pictures of pierre on the podium (he finished p2 sorry i know this truly does not matter), he's forgotten about the race. the anxiety sits small in the back of his throat, his happiness for pierre is bright and loud in front of him. charles sends him a message, asking him to call whenever he can and adds a blue & red heart emoji which feels like a Big Step. but basically pierre calls and acts like nothing has happened since the last time they talked. mentions the breakfast he had in detail as if he didn’t get a podium in his first race with red bull. finally with a big team. but charles embarrassingly realizes that maybe his text didn't exactly imply in literally any way whatsoever that he knows the results of the race and was trying to congratulate pierre with this call. charles probably feels so embarrassed at this point but somehow still can't manage to say anything about the race until the next day maybe.

maybe texts pierre, good job. or, you were great. or something about him and not the race. or maybe reposts a picture from red bull but not one of pierre in his car, pointedly. only one of him on the podium. and pierre probably reposts it with the squid emoji and/or my favourite sentence in the world, merci petit calamaro.

charles cries when he reads it.

not to be lazy now but [insert 10k words of them building their friendship. meeting up in monaco with both of their families. meeting in milan or london or paris idk where pierre would live. but he flies charles out. not on a private jet because charles flat out refused lol. not because he's an environmentally conscious king he's just too, embarrassed? overwhelmed? by pierre doing Things Like That for him. even though he wants it lol. like when he graduates he's soooo annoyed that pierre couldn't come celebrate immediately because it was race week. but when he comes home his apartment is filled with flowers (roses, his favourite) and balloons and a giant teddy bear as tall as charles. and he DOES post 12 instagram stories to go with the other 30 from his other friends congratulating him. so yeah charles goes through a lot of personal growth and therapy. to the point where he's watching pierre race again, and waiting for him to invite him to a race again!!! do not even think about actual dates i'm fucking begging you but the one he goes to is monza :))))]

ultimately charles' path to understand/accepting/moving on from, his trauma, happens once he has pierre back in his life. it's also encouraged by pierre, but it's also not entirely because of him. not sure how to word that but yeah. these things are happening at the same time but charles still has to go through them by himself.

pierre takes him on romantic dates all around the world and charles doesn't realize that's what they are. fully in his bestie vibes only mood while pining for pierre in a way he doesn't even quite understand. almost a self deprecating, jeez whoever gets to date pierre is going to be so lucky :/

fanpage on ig: met pierre's alleged bf he's so pretty and sweet, i complimented his shoes and he was so nice. charles reading that: i didnt know he was dating someone :( why wouldn't he tell me :( well at least someone complimented my shoes today :(

pierre doesn't necessarily think they're dating, but he does know charles doesn't quite realize what they're doing so he's just waiting for him to come to terms with it.

not to give this au 10 different subplots but yeah that miscommunication plot becomes our prize for surviving through the first part of this.

but yeah at the last race of the year, that pierre wins because i said so? charles finds him before he goes on to the podium, kisses his helmet. says i love you, i'm so proud of you.

THEN, finally, charles does become pierre's wag. we made it kids. we did it joe.

[ruluxe]

hi! idk if you’ve touched on this topic yet or not,, but i rly like reading your thoughts about kagami and his life and family and what not,, so im curious what you think kagami’s dad is like? what kind of person & parent he is? 👀👀

personally, (if i may share), i reckon hes a very ‘traditional’ man... like, he thinks men should work, and women stay in the kitchen, sort of thing. i think he would not be a very nice person, & also quite right wing. i think that, hes very pressed about money and business, and he lives and breathes to work. i reckon he would want kagami to carry in his footsteps w his job,, so i also think hes not very supportive of kagami’s basketball dreams, sadly :( i also think hes a god awful father lol.. he only provides for kagami financially, and thats it. i have so so many thoughts i could go on forever im so sorry SHDH 😭😭 it do be kagami brain rot hours 🥴🥴

Hey thank you so much for this ask! I'm so excited because WOW do I ever love Kagami so much (never thought I would because I didn't the first time around) and he honestly deserves so much better than what he was dealt. I'm glad that he found people that love and care about him and appreciate him for more than just basketball, but also appreciate his basketball too — because that's very important to him.

Kagami's dad is definitely a man who puts work before his child, and it's always been that way. It's easy to speculate about what happened with Kagami's mom — because we don't get any information on her, there are endless things to assume. With Kagami's dad, we see that he was supposed to move in with Kagami when they returned to Japan, but he decided to go back to America, leaving his young son to fend for himself. Even if someone wants to argue that Kagami's dad must feel like he trusts Kagami enough to do that, that he's responsible enough to be left alone — to put that much pressure on a teenager and to leave him to just. Fend for himself is... I don't care how responsible you think your kid is at that age, they still need support and discipline and wisdom and guidance. Something you can't give them if you're not. fucking. there.

We see Kagami alone and without any friends as a child in America too, and no sign of his dad. There's a lot of responsibility and expectation of him, having to grow up and learn how to do things on his own at a very young age. But what about when he needs that support, what about when he looks to the stands and his dad isn't there to see the biggest moments of his life? To congratulate him these milestones, these amazing feats that he's worked so hard to achieve? Sure, we don't see the others' parents but we can assume that they're there — Kagami's father isn't even in the same country.

And don't get me started on how uprooting a child as much as Kagami has had to. Let's take his apartment for example. The barest minimal decor, because why bother making it home when you've never really felt like you had one — when you know you're probably going to have to move again in a year or two. When you've learned not to get attached to anything or anyone because you'll always have to leave them behind. Let's look at his clothes. Simple and plain. Even his shoes he runs into the ground. He doesn't care about money, it's not important to him the way it is to his father. He knows and appreciates how hard his father works, because that's just Kagami, but he also knows what it does to a person and he doesn't want that to be him. His relationships? The very first thing we hear from him is that he's not there to make friends. It's not because of competition or because he's arrogant, it's because he really isn't. The last friend he made hurt him a lot, and he never got to resolve that. In Kagami's mind, the people that hes loved are always choosing things over him — Himuro and basketball, his father and money. That's why he doesn't let anyone in, not truly. Not even Kuroko. And the independence? Aomine's saying may be "the only one who can beat me is me" but Kagami (before learning the power of Friendship in DDZ) might as well be saying "the only one who can do this is me" because the whole time he thinks, even when he's saying that they're a team, that it's him who has to do it. He has to win, he has to bring them to victory, it's him that has to be strong and protect them from loss. These don't make him a bad person at all, but we keep forgetting that he's only 16 and god that's so much shit to put on a teenager and just expect them to figure shit out on their own.

He has to get used to a new city each time, alone, learning/relearning the languages, meeting new people and saying goodbye to old friends and support systems — roots he's had to establish each time on. his. own. That's why I hate the end of Last Game. I'm glad he gets to live his dream, but more than anything I hate to see him having to leave the people he's come to care about so much, the first people we see that truly treat Kagami as a person first, as a friend first before anything else. And it's not even his dad that makes this decision, it's Alex.

I've never really thought much about the type of person Kagami's father would be because he's unimportant and absent in my mind like he is in Kagami's life. I don't think he supports Kagami's dream because he isn't there to see how amazing Kagami is. But even still, I feel as if he'd simply look at it from a monetary perspective. I personally don't think he puts much thought into Kagami's life at all, whether it be his friends or his love life. I do think he'd be traditional in that sense for sure — expect Kagami to find a good looking woman who made her own money but not more than what he'd make, make her sign a prenup if they were to ever get married. He's a superficial man, so when it came to Kagami he'd only care about superficial things, like if he had a high paying, respectable job (basketball is fine as long as he's making bank, and if Kagami wasn't that then he'd better be doing something that doesn't embarrass his father) and a pretty looking wife (doesn't matter what she does as long as it doesn't make him look bad).

Kagami is just. The furthest thing from his dad's mind, all the time. He's cold and neglectful and yeah, a god awful parent because he's just not there for Kagami at all. How many birthdays and other holidays he's missed, how many plays or important moments he's missed. How many times has Kagami really needed someone, like after his fight with Himuro, and had no one there he could talk to, no one to help him mend a broken heart. Where are his hugs when he's hurt, where are the pat on the backs and the "you did great" and "im proud of you son" etc.

Kagami's had to grow up on his own but that's what makes him strong, and I am so proud of him for what he's accomplished and the person he's become. He's amazing, and so warm-hearted and kind, hardworking and driven, despite not having any support to back him up. He could have turned out much differently and he didn't, and I'm so glad for that.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness build (My Little Pony: FIM)

(Artwork by SophiesPlushies on DeviantArt.)

Like, it took me a solid 5 minutes to find the first image in this post and I had to sift through so much softcore porn to find it. I didn’t even find it by searching DeviantArt I had to go on fucking derpibooru oh my lord.

Anyways: here’s another shit brony build because people don’t hate me enough! Well that and I do genuinely love the characters from My Little Pony, and think that they’d be fun to make builds for. But feel free to call me a garbage brony at your leisure.

These are the words of a man who has been beaten down after being a brony for around 10 years.

GOALS

I'm just good with animals - Fluttershy talks to animals. That’s one of the main things she does really.

I'm doing this because you're my very best friend - As the element of kindness we of course need to share our heart and soul with our friends.

Nopony pushes new Fluttershy around! - MLP Wiki makes an express point of mentioning The Stare in Fluttershy’s powers, so of course we’ll do our best to include that.

RACE

Before you say anything no I’m not a pegasi stan just because I did both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Regardless Aaracokra still makes the most sense for Fluttershy unfortunately because there’s few bird races and fewer flying races.

As an Aaracokra you +2 to Dexterity and +1 to Wisdom which we’ll be keeping because I don’t know if your DM will allow Tasha’s rules. You also get 50 feet of Flight but you can’t be wearing Medium or Heavy Armor to do this, which means I don’t get to say “something something Medium Armor.” And finally you can buck someone to deal damage equal to a d4 plus your Strength; technically their Talons which deal slashing damage but feel free to view them however you want.

If I was to build Fluttershy I’d honestly use the Owlfolk UA race (which will hopefully be out in Wild Beyond the Witchlight and / or Strixhaven) for a multitude of reasons, the most notable of which being the fact that you can fly with Medium armor as an Owlfolk. But the Detect Magic Ritual ability is also nice as is the reaction to stop yourself from falling. Unfortunately Aaracokra technically made more sense since Fluttershy can’t detect magic.

Basically even I have to make choices which are suboptimal in order to ensure maximum roleplay, and even when I play my builds I change them to make them better to play.

ABILITY SCORES

15; WISDOM - You are compassionate and good with animals: both those things are Wisdom skills!

14; DEXTERITY - Since I can’t go “something something medium armor” for this build (yay Aaracokra) I guess getting a 16 in DEX thanks to your race is a good call. If playing an Owlfolk or something you can afford to having 14 total in DEX, as you can then wear medium armor.

13; CONSTITUTION - Look, roleplay stats are great and all but so is not dying.

12; CHARISMA - You are cute small pony... bird... Pony-bird...

10; INTELLIGENCE - Most of your time was spent taking care of animals and most of your knowledge comes from on-hand training as opposed to studying. Basically you’re not Twilight.

8; STRENGTH - As a young filly Rainbow Dash would do most of the heavy lifting for you. As a young mare Rainbow Dash still does most the heavy lifting for you. She is a Barbarian after all!

BACKGROUND

Most ponies know to come to you if their pets are in trouble, and if you’ve ever had pets you know the doctor that helps them is a true Folk Hero. As a Folk Hero you get proficiency in Animal Handling (yay) but I’d swap the Survival proficiency out for Stealth because well... you’re very good at hiding. You also get proficiency with Land Vehicles (most Land Vehicles in D&D are controlled by animals; usually horses! Wait... aren’t you a horse?) and an Artisan’s Tool of your choice: go for Carpenter’s Tools to make some bird houses and chicken coops!

After living in Ponyville for so long most ponies are willing to give you some Rustic Hospitality, giving you a warm place to rest and recover... as long as you can get over your crippling shyness! Eep!

(Artwork by probablyfakeblonde on DeviantArt.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - CLERIC 1

Starting off as a Cleric because I thought Wisdom and Charisma saves were more fitting for Fluttershy, and for the Insight and Medicine skill proficiencies.

As a Cleric you get to choose your subclass at level 1, and there’s nothing you love more than a little bit of Peace and quiet. As a Peace Cleric you get proficiency in Performance thanks to Implement of Peace, for those great MLP song numbers. But more importantly you can call on the power of friendship for an Emboldening Bond!

As an action, you choose a number of friends within 30 feet of you (this can include yourself) equal to your proficiency bonus. Your friendship bonds them together for 10 minutes or until you use this feature again. While any bonded creature is within 30 feet of another they get a d4 they can add to an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw once per turn. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

And finally we can talk about the Spellcasting! You get three cantrips from the Cleric list at level 1: Guidance is always welcome among friends, and Spare the Dying can be a literal life safer! Other than that you are still expected to fight in D&D so take Sacred Flame to defend yourself. You can also prepare a number of spells equal to your Cleric level plus your Wisdom modifier. As a Peace Domain Cleric you can inspire Heroism among your friends, or protect yourself (and hide!) with Sanctuary.

Other than that Healing Word is a staple healing spell (we aren’t taking Cure Wounds right now for reasons but feel free to prepare it), Shield of Faith will let you defend your allies, Protection from Evil and Good will help you invoke the Elements of Harmony against the big bad of the season, and Detect Evil and Good will help you find the Elements of Harmony!

You could also take Bless, but I’m not going to tell you to take Bless because optimizers would crucify me for telling you to double up on d4s.

LEVEL 2 - CLERIC 2

Second level Clerics get their Channel Divinity once per short rest and you have a variety of options to choose from:

Turn Undead will make skeletons and zombies not want to hurt the cute little ponies, which will force them to run away for awhile.

Balm of Peace (the main reason we took the second level in Cleric) will let you run around and heal all your friends for 2d6 plus your Wisdom modifier.

And Harness Divine Power (ty Tasha’s) will let you recover a spell slot, but can only be used a limited amount of times per Long Rest.

You can also prepare another spell and be a little less nice with Command. Telling your enemies to “LOVE” isn’t going to be that effective, but making them grovel or drop works just as fine.

LEVEL 3 - RANGER 1

When you spend enough time around animals you’re automatically either a Ranger or a Druid. Quinn? Never heard of ‘em. Regardless multiclassing into Ranger gives you proficiency in a skill from the Ranger list and it’s good to know about Nature so you can find plants to help your fluffy buddies! Deft Explorer also gives you two language proficiencies (again: pick your poison) and Expertise in a skill. You’ll never guess which skill we’ll be getting... it’s Animal Handling. You’re good with animals.

We actually aren’t going to be taking Favored Foe because we aren’t using weapons for one, but more importantly despite it’s name Favored Enemy is also good for tracking friends! You have advantage on Survival checks to track your favored “enemies”, as well as on Intelligence checks to recall information about them. Go for Beasts to easily find a feathered or fluffy friend! Oh and you also get more languages because I don’t know why, so again pick your poison.

LEVEL 4 - RANGER 2

Second level Rangers get their Fighting Style, or as I like to call it your Helping Style because we’ll be going for Druidic Warrior! You can pick up two cantrips from the Druid list: I opted for Druidcraft (you can grow some flowers for your friends; yay!) and Mending to tend to your cottage.

And of course with cantrips we also get more Spellcasting! You can learn two spells from the Druid list: you’re never not going to want Cure Wounds (which is why we didn’t take it earlier btw) and Animal Friendship is an obvious must.

LEVEL 5 - RANGER 3

Third level Rangers get to choose their Ranger Archetype and we’ll be going for the Gloomsta- Ah you all know it’s going to be Beast Master. You get a Ranger’s Companion not from the PHB but from Tasha’s! The Beast of Land would make the most sense and while it’s probably expected that they be a wolf or something you can pretend that you’re playing Fighting is Magic and have Angel Bunny fight for you! Anyways here’s a crash course on your new fluffy friend:

Their AC is equal to 13 plus your proficiency bonus (currently 16.)

Their health is equal to 5 + five times your Ranger level (currently 20) and they have a number of d8 hit die equal to your Ranger level.

They have a 40 foot movement speed and a 40 foot climbing speed.

You can command it to attack with your bonus action; it has the same hit chance as your spell hit chance (WIS mod + Prof Bonus [currently 6]) and deals a d8 + 2 + prof bonus damage.

If they move at least 20 feet straight toward a target and then hit with an attack on the same turn, the target takes an extra 1d6 slashing damage and must make a Strength saving throw against your spell save DC (if they’re a creature.) If they fail they’re knocked prone.

You can command the beast to attack, dash, disengage, or hide with your bonus action.

If you don’t command it they take the dodge action.

You can revive them with a spell of first level or higher 1 hour after they die, and can change your beast after a long rest.

Man, who knew that taking care of a pet was so difficult? Well you also get Primeval Awareness (because Primal Awareness actually doesn’t work that well for this build.) You can use your action and one spell slot to sense the following types of creatures within 1 mile of you: aberrations, celestials, dragons, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead. This lasts for one minute, and doesn’t reveal the creatures’ location or number.

And you learn another spell: Goodberry is good to feed yourself and all your friends! As long as they’re okay with eating berries, of course. C’mon... they’re good for you! Pleeeease?

(Artwork by AssasinMonkey on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 6 - RANGER 4

Finally an Ability Score Improvement... or Feat? We’ll be going for Eldritch Adept, which is admittedly weird but it’s the only way to get Beast Speech so you can Speak with Animals at will! Is total level 6 a little late to finally be able to speak with animals? Yeah, but this is unlimited so it fits better and doesn’t spend your spell slots.

LEVEL 7 - CLERIC 3

Finally back to Cleric land which means finally we can prepare some second level spells! As a Peace domain Cleric you automatically get Aid and Warding Bond prepared, both of which are very good for keeping your friends alive. You can also finally get Hold Person to finally have The Stare!

LEVEL 8 - CLERIC 4

Level 4 in Cleric means another Ability Score Improvement: Wisdom is still your core stat so increasing that by 2 would be your best choice.

You also get another cantrip at this level, and can prepare two more spells! For cantrips I’d recommend Light to see with your dumb bird eyes unless you’re an Owlfolk, and I’d recommend preparing Lesser Restoration and Enhance Ability to further boost your friends.

(Artwork by Koveliana on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 9 - CLERIC 5

5th level Clerics can now Destroy Undead of CR 1/2 or lower with their Channel Divinity. Don’t feel too bad about it; they were big dumb meanies anyways!

You can also prepare third level spells too! As a Peace Domain Cleric you get Beacon of Hope to help with healing, and Spike can send letters out for you with Sending. You can also prepare Dispel Magic in case Twilight needs help with more dangerous spells.

LEVEL 10 - CLERIC 6

6th level Peace Clerics get Protective Bond. When a creature affected by your Emboldening Bond is about to take damage, another bonded creature within 30 feet of the first can use its reaction to teleport to an unoccupied space within 5 feet of the first creature. That creature then takes all the damage instead. It’s worth mentioning that since this specifies “creature” you can actually bond with your beast companion and have it use its reaction, or have others go in to defend angel.

You can also prepare another third level spell like Revivify, so you don’t lose any friends. And to top it off you can use your Channel Divinity twice per short rest! Woohoo!

LEVEL 11 - CLERIC 7

7th level Cleric, 4th level spells. As a Peace Domain Cleric you get Aura of Purity to protect your friends, and Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere to put your enemies in time out. You can also prepare another spell like Freedom of Movement, in case you need to run!

LEVEL 12 - CLERIC 8

8th level Clerics get a variety of features. To start off you get an Ability Score Improvement, which means we can finally cap off your Wisdom for maximum spellcasting! This also means you can prepare more spells, but we’re actually going to hold off on getting more spells for now.

You can also put a little more LOVE into your spells with Potent Spellcasting, adding your Wisdom modifier to the damage of your Cleric cantrips. And finally your Channel Divinity will now Destroy Undead or CR 1 or lower.

LEVEL 13 - CLERIC 9

The reason we held off on getting more Cleric spells last level is because now we get those big 5th level spells! As a Peace Domain Cleric you can help your friends out of any jam with Greater Restoration, and know what they really mean to say thanks to Rary’s Telepathic Bond.

You can also prepare some of those big hitter spells like Mass Cure Wounds to save your friends, and you can cast both Dawn and Summon Celestial to call on Celestia herself! Isn’t that Twilight’s job? Well, it’s still good to have contacts!

(Artwork by CigarsCigarettes on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 14 - RANGER 5

Now that we’ve got all the support we could need for our friends it’s time to return to our roots and focus on Angel! Feel free to focus more on Ranger instead of Cleric if you so desire when building this yourself; I simply opted for more healing instead of damage.

We’re finally 5th level with Ranger which finally means you’ll be getting an Extra Attack!... Which you probably won’t use because you can use cantrips instead. Well it’s still nice to have?

The good thing though is that you can learn more Ranger spells like Healing Spirit, which is a really strong healing spell that was kinda gutted by erratas. But it’s still nice and efficient regardless of what spell slot you casted it at, effectively being a 6d6 heal for a second level spell slot!

LEVEL 15 - RANGER 6

6th level Rangers can now add Roving to their list of skills from Deft Explorer. Your movement speed increases by 5 feet, and you get both a climbing and swimming speed equal to your walking speed. Is total level 15 a little late to get a 30 foot movement speed? Yeah probably, but every little bit helps!

Speaking of another little bit you get another Favored Enemy... I mean friend! ...I don’t know pick whatever you think will be relevant for the campaign. Also yes: you do get more languages, because Ranger.

LEVEL 16 - RANGER 7

7th level Beast Masters have Exceptional Training with their Animal Companion. You can use a bonus action to command the beast to take the Dash, Disengage, or Help action on its turn... which you could already do anyways thanks to Tasha’s.

I’d say that after Tasha’s this feature would work even if you don’t command your beast, but as always discuss the rules with your DM.

Well at least Angel’s attacks count as magical to overcome resistances, which is good because you were probably dealing with nonmagical resistance for awhile now.

You can also prepare another spell like Pass Without Trace, so you and your friends can sneak around unseen. Pass Without Trace is one of those spells that is always useful regardless of what level you are, so picking it up now is still useful!

LEVEL 17 - RANGER 8

8th level Rangers get another Ability Score Improvement. You’ve probably noticed our uneven Constitution score by this point: yeah that was because we were going to grab Resilient Constitution at some point. Increasing your CON gives you a nice +17 to your health and makes your Constitution saves (and concentration saves!) a +8 total.

You’ve also spent so much time on the ground moving through nonmagical difficult terrain costs you no extra movement thanks to Land’s Stride. You can also pass through nonmagical plants without being slowed by them or taking damage from them. Additionally, you have advantage on saving throws against plants that are magically created or manipulated to impede movement. You may be able to fly but that doesn’t mean being able to move on the ground isn’t useful!

(Artwork by AssasinMonkey on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 18 - RANGER 9

9th level Rangers can learn third level spells, and you’ve probably spent enough time training with Rainbow Dash by this point to make a Wind Wall to protect your friends! (Basically the Ranger spell list sucks and we’re only really going down Ranger still for more subclass features.)

LEVEL 19 - RANGER 10

You get a new feature from Deft Explorer at this level: you are now Tireless! As an action you can give yourself a number of temporary hit points equal to 1d8 plus your Wisdom modifier (so 5.) You can use this action a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest. Additionally whenever you finish a short rest your exhaustion level is decreased by 1.

You’re also a master of avoiding social interaction. Nature’s Veil lets you turn invisible as a Bonus Action until the start of your next turn. You can also use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and regain all expended uses when you finish a Long Rest.

LEVEL 20 - RANGER 11

11th level Beast Masters can invoke Bestial Fury! With 11 level in Ranger and 20 total levels in this build your Animal Companion can now... attack twice! Look Beast Master is playable now, I never said it was good.

At least you can learn one last Ranger spell: in your ultimate stand against darkness Daylight will help you banish the dark! ...Or something. Look again: the Ranger spell list sucks.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

You do not hurt my friends! You got that? - Even with the multiclassing you still get spell slots up to 7th level, and have more than enough magic to shake a stick at. Not to mention that Angel will always be by your side to pump out a bit more damage with your Bonus Action!

You’re the cutest thing ever - Maxed out Wisdom was rather expected from a Cleric, but Expertise in Animal Handling combined with unlimited Beast Speech means that you can easily make friends with any beast you come across! Just make sure your DM is okay with you giving a hydra belly rubs.

Whatever you wanna do is fine... - You’ve got quite a good mix of features that will help you both in and out of combat, meaning that there’s plenty that your friends can rely on you to help with! In fact there’s a lot of things that only you can do as a Ranger which are quite helpful!

CONS

You’re such a loudmouth... - Most of your class resources only come back after a Long Rest, with only your Channel Divinity coming back after a Short Rest. You’re still plenty capable with just Angel by your side but don’t spend everything in one fight, or else you’ll be left with nothing but Sacred Flame and Animal Companion attacks.

Are you coughing because... - So let’s talk about Angel: even with 11 levels in Ranger they’re not great. AC of 19 is pretty good but they’ll probably max out around 60 HP. Your average Wizard will have more HP than this by level 20. Two maul attacks will do decent damage but you could get equal value out of Spiritual Weapon, and you only get the second attack with Angel at total build level 20. And yeah for most of this build Angel is going to be sitting around 25 max HP, meaning they’re likely to go down a lot. Aid can help keep your pets healthy and happy but don’t be upset when your level 4 Ranger companion keeps going down.

Awful, just awful! - We kinda miss the best of both worlds for the sake of a build that’s “in-character.” No 10th level of Cleric means no Divine Intervention (even if it’s only a 10% chance it’s still good to have), and no 12th level of Ranger means no ASIs. One good thing about this build is that it does peak around level 10 or so where the multiclassing doesn’t start to damage it, but if you really expect to run all the way to level 20 I’d sooner play either a straight Ranger or a straight Cleric.

But you’re coming along to share your kindness with everypony around you, and guide your friends to victory! Use your expertise to keep your friends alive while Angel kicks some major tail! Get down and be assertive, but remember not to push yourself too hard. Everypony already loves you for who you are, even if you’re in fact a little shy.

(Artwork by Rodrigues404 on DeviantArt.)

[writingsfromhome]

Bad Timing I(.5)

A/N: This is the sort of backstory to Harry and you, I think it can be read on its own if you want, or before you read the first part too. It’s angsty af, but it has some death and sensitive topics jsyk. I tried to keep it concise but it got a little wordy as angst does. xx

Part 1

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About 12 Years Ago:

“So are you coming to that party or not?” My roommate asks. She was one of the first people I’d met last year when we started uni and even though we came from different backgrounds we remained friends over the last year, even choosing to room together again. She got me to open up and find the extroverted part of me that was able to enjoy uni outside of academics.

“Ugh, I’m volunteering for the voting booths for the rest of the week. Maybe if I can make it?”

“You’re actually doing that?” She scrunches her nose. “I don’t get it. You’re just way too nerdy to be my friend.”

“And yet you loove me,” I squeeze her against me and she laughs. “It’s my mom, she said I had to do at least one extracurricular so I could meet friends this year.”

“You already have friends,” she points to herself, and with her came her group of friends that’d quickly taken me in last year.

And my mom doesn’t like that I hang out with you, I think. She thought we partied too much even though my grades stayed decent. “She wants me to have nerdy friends too, I dunno. They’re helping me pay my tuition until I get a job so I kinda have to play nice.”

“Parents suck,” my roommate flicks through her closet. I agreed, this was just something I would get through to get through. Then they would leave me alone for the rest of the year.

Little did I know the person they’d partner me with at my polling station was someone who would be in my life for the next decade.

“I’m Harry by the way,” he’d said after we received our orientation and assigned the building we were going to babysit the votes in. “Second year.”

“Me too! I’m Y/N. What’s your major? I’ve never seen you around.”

“Law--well I haven’t decided if it’s law but that’s what I’m in right now.”

“Really? Law?” I was openly judging, he just didn’t seem the law type.

“Well what are you in?” He demands.

“Business,” I cringe.

“Really? Business?” He has a cheeky smile on, one that would become familiar to me.

“Well, you just don’t seem like the law type. They’re usually more uptight, dress way too smart for me.”

“I know, it’s like, we’re not even in the courtroom yet,” he joins in and it makes me laugh--how he could poke fun at his own people. That’s when I knew we would get along fine, and I actually looked forward to the next few days getting to know him better.

“I’m definitely telling my mum about you, she’s been begging me to make friends outside of my circle. I’ll tell her I’m friends with a law student.”

“So we’re friends already?” We’d reached our booth and began setting up the partitions. He takes over when I set it up wrong.

“Obviously,” I say. “I actually like you which means you’ll have a hard time getting rid of me.”

“I’m alright with that,” he grins and I notice the laugh lines that are brought to life as he does. It somehow made him seem more genuinely.

We spend the rest of the time swapping stories, classes, rants. We check student IDs and hand out voting cards in between but it doesn’t feel like a drag anymore. At the end of the day, I invite him to the party my roommate was going to with our friends. If he was going, maybe I would too. He seemed like he might be fun at a party.

“Er,” he suddenly seems nervous. “I’ll have to ask my girlfriend, she wanted to hang out tonight.”

“Well bring her too!” I say excitedly. “Is she law as well?”

“No, she’s in the arts.”

“I like her already,” I push. “Bring her, my friends are fun you’ll learn how to have a good time.”

“I know how to have a good time,” there was the flash of his dimples again. “Text me the address.”

And thus began a friendship for the next four years, partying together, studying together (trying to), and hanging out in each other’s rooms. We would set each other up with other friends, double dated, went out for sunrise-hikes, and took long drives at night when we had to blow some steam off from being over-stressed, over-studied uni students. Our friend circles overlapped, the fabric of our lives eventually bleeding together. We were made of the same fibers, sticking together even after uni, when our friends got more serious about their careers. When they moved out of the country or to another city, we made sure to rent places close enough that we could still see each other often. And somehow, in the new chapter of our lives, without the partying and our other friends to buffer, we became closer than before.

We cared for each other--we didn’t deny that ever. And somehow that platonic love turned romantic as we depended on each other while we navigated adulthood. I can’t exactly pinpoint where things changed, but one evening our relationship was changed forever.

7 years ago:

“She literally wants me to stay until 7, and she was offended when I said no! I’m not even getting paid for that!” I was bitching to Harry about my shitty job.

“That’s bollocks” Harry shrugs. “Just say you’ve got family obligations or something.”

“I said that the one time she wanted us to come in on a weekend and she gave me shite work the following week! I just...I can’t afford to lose this job Harry.”

“That’s shitty, I’m sorry.” He takes the last swig of his beer. “Want another one?”

“I haven’t even finished this one,” I moan at my now warm beer that I’d been nursing for the last hour, too busy ranting to drink it. “It’s getting late though I should head home before it’s dark. Don’t want that nutter that hangs around my building to harass me again.”

“I’ll walk you home,” Harry suggests. He lived a 15 minute walk from me.

“No no,” I get up and take our dirty dishes to the sink. “I didn’t even ask about you, how was your day?”

“Same old,” he sighs against the counter. “I feel like I don’t fit in, everyone my age is finishing their law degree but I don’t think I want to.”

“I knew from the day I met you, you weren’t destined for the courtroom.” I pull him into a comforting hug. “Do what makes you happy, or what doesn’t make you want to say fuck it and quit your job to hibernate.”

“You really know the perfect thing to say,” Harry chuckles but he pulls me tighter against him. I stroke his back, reassuring him he’d be alright in the end.

“Y/N-” he pulls away to say something but freezes mid sentence. I raise an eyebrow but he’s still, staring at my face.

“Harry?” I ask, but he continues staring. “Hello? You alright?”

“Yeah,” he breaks into a sudden smile. That was weird--I make sure he’s okay before letting go.

Before I leave, I kiss Harry’s cheek goodbye--I was never shy in the affection I gave my friends and Harry’s bummed mood needed extra affection tonight. But what I don’t expect is for him to catch me before I pull away, staring intently into my eyes. The lighthearted energy between us disappears instantly as it dawns on me, how close we were, the unspoken feelings in his eyes, the hesitation before he presses his lips to mine.

I kissed him back then, barely understanding what was happening, before pulling away. I give him a smile but that’s just what he sees at the tip of the iceberg, underneath my mixed feelings churn away. My best friend just kissed me, and I wasn’t totally mad about it.

“It’s getting dark I-” I say as Harry says, “Sorry was that okay?”

We laugh awkwardly, neither of us sure what to do at this point. We decide to ignore it instead.

“I’ll talk to you later,” Harry lets me go and opens the door for me. “Watch out for the neighbourhood nutter yea?”

I stand in place, feeling the fibers of our friendship unraveling but feeling hopeless in mending the tear. “Take care Harry.”

I high tail it out, my thoughts going at an impossible rate as I sort out what happened. And we try to ignore it the next couple weeks,

We hadn’t made it official then, too nervous to face what this meant about our friendships. It was only at my sister’s wedding, that I realised what was wrong between us. I’d been mourning our old friendship, and avoiding him in the weeks since the kiss. But what I didn’t realise was that our friendship had been changing over the last year anyway, and getting drunk on champagne and dancing with Harry, while my sister celebrated the happiest day of her life, made me realise there was a cause for celebration here: a new chapter in our lives.

A couple days later, after a stressful day at work, I’d taken the tube to his flat and waited for him outside. He was surprised to see me there, not saying much except to open the door and let me in. As soon as he’d closed it, my lips were attached to his and we’d let our bags drop, coats, and any piece of clothing between us. After that night, we didn’t even try to deny how we felt about each other.

“I didn’t think I could ever be this happy,” he’s whispered to me after. I thought he’d fallen asleep but his whisper in the dark made me grin to myself. “Are you awake.”

“I am. Awake and happy.” I turn to face him, giggling. “Who knew this could feel so right.”

“Our first kiss was quite wrong though wasn’t it?” Harry says and it makes me laugh.

“That’s why I needed to do a redo,” I tease. “Can’t leave you to plan anything.”

“It wasn’t planned I swear, I was trying to be spontaneous.”

“Let’s not try ‘spontaneous’ again then,” I kiss him in the dark. He pulls me snug against him, I never knew how safe it felt. The safest I would ever feel, wrapped in the warmth with my best friend and now something else.

It was a good few months, testing the waters as our relationship underwent a transformation. All of our friends were supportive, but we never missed the glances between them. Apparently, they were waiting for this to happen. But as sweet as those first few months had been, finding out my mum was sick with a timeline was devastating. I came apart at the seams but Harry stayed through it all, holding me together. He’d proposed then, wanting my mum to be part of the ceremony. We had a small wedding, intimate but still magical. It was bittersweet, the amount of love and happiness I felt towards Harry and our loved ones around us as he said I do and as he took my arm and swept me across the dancefloor. But the amount of sadness crushing my chest kept me from being the weightless bride I always thought I would be.

Through it all, Harry stayed by my side. While we were hopeful, the day our hopes were dashed, the days and weeks I mourned. When my sister and her husband came to stay with their crazy toddlers and Harry kept them entertained giving my sister and I time together. I thought he was perfect, that I’d lucked out.

That lasted a few years, 3 and a half to be exact. There were months leading up to our split and we could point to a bunch of things that could’ve led to it. a) him wanting kids, and me wanting to wait or b) long hours we worked as we changed careers and tried to make our way up or c) how hard getting pregnant actually was. Maybe I pushed him away, or he didn’t love me enough to try and make it work.

I think I lied to myself, avoiding the tension creeping into the relationship. The tired excuses and time spent apart, the lack of usual affection, or casual conversations. I was an idiot, I realise every time I think about the end in retrospect. Maybe if I caught on earlier I could have fixed us before we fell apart. Maybe I could have saved us.

“There’s someone coming in Tuesday morning to fix the broken washer, will you be home?” I ask, still in bed and scrolling through my phone. I hadn’t meant to be up this early but Harry woke me as he got up and I couldn’t fall back asleep.

“No,” Harry responds, his back to me as he ruffles through the dresser. “I’ve got a thing that morning.”

“Well I’ve got to go in early Tuesday-I thought you might be home.” I say. I hear an edge to Harry’s voice but I try not to focus on it. He’d been a little cold all weekend and I was scared to think what it meant.

“You couldn’t be bothered to check in when you confirmed the date?” Harry asks harshly.

“I...guess not.” I put my phone down and wait for Harry to turn, maybe I could read his expression. Maybe he was stressed. “Harry?”

“What?” He turns, but he looks at me with no emotion. No stress, no frustration, not even anger. It’s the lack of emotion in his face that cause my eyes to prick with tears. Harry raises his eyebrows and I shake my head, untangling myself from the sheets so he doesn’t see any tears. I rush to the bathroom but forget to close the door out of habit.

“Y/N,” a kinder Harry appears by the doorway. His face has smoothed out the harsh lines, his eyes hesitant and cautious.

“What’s happened with us?” I blurt out. “Why are you so cold all the time? Am I doing something wrong?”

Harry’s face falls and he walks towards me but doesn’t touch me. “It’s nothing like that. It’s...I don’t know. We should talk.”

He reaches his hand out but I flinch away. “Did you meet somebody new or something? What are we talking about?”

“Let’s not do this here. Right now.”

“Why not!” I finally had enough. “I’ve been walking on eggshells for months Harry! I don’t know what’s wrong and I keep waiting for you to bloody tell me!”

“This isn’t working!” Harry raises his voice to compensate for mine. I’m immediately silenced by the volume, and then the words sink in.

“Is there someone else?” I ask.

He doesn’t answer, his gaze on the hanging vines by the window. My heart drops into my stomach like a boulder, and I find it hard to breathe. I clutch the porcelain sink and ask in a surprisingly even tone, “Harry. Answer me.”

“What we have, Y/N...it’s dysfunctional.” He says quietly, meeting my eyes. “It doesn’t matter if there’s someone else, we’ve been fighting for months. Things aren’t the same between us-”

“Who is she?” I ask. I needed to know.

“That’s not relevant,” he shuts my question down quickly. “I’m sorry Y/N, I...I don’t want to hurt you. I care about you, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then don’t,” I’d pleaded. “We can go to counseling, talk it through-”

“I can’t Y/N.”

“Because of her.”

“No, because this isn’t good for either of us.” He’d walked up to me, cradled my face. “We’re not good for each other, not like this.”

“Who is she?” I yank his hands away.

“She’s...it doesn’t matter, I swear nothing happened between us Y/N. Knowing who she is isn’t going to help this situation--”

“It is! If it weren’t for her, you’d be willing to work on us--to see a future. You...Harry how could you do this to me? To us?” The tears come with no control. “You’re moving on before we’re even over. How are you giving up on us like that?”

“I’m not!” his voice booms in the tiled bathroom. “I’m not bloody giving up on us! I tried Y/N, so many times. I tried! You just keep pushing at me to be someone I’m not and-”

“I can say the same thing about you!” I throw the brush in my hands into the sink. “We were good! And you got it in your head you wanted a baby even though we’re young, oh my god Harry you kept pestering me to change my mind even though I told you I needed time!”

“It’s not like we could have a fucking baby anyway,” Harry says bitterly before realising what he’d said. “Shit-”

“There you go,” I mock. “I knew it. I knew you were holding that against me. And that,” I jab my finger into his chest. “Is what’s made you so moody, so mean and why we’re always fighting. You held it against me.”.

There was absolute truth to what I said. Last year, Harry had brought the baby topic up. I’d told him we were only in our mid-20s, we had a lot of time, and we still had a career to establish. But he would bring up the topic often enough that I’d given in.To make him happy. And months went by, trying for a baby. Went we finally went to our doctor, she’d told us why it was so hard, it could take us years she’d said.

Harry came home that day dejected, and left me feeling like a failure. I think it tore us up.

“You wanted a baby so fucking bad and when I couldn’t, it made me feel like a complete failure. And I told you that! And you did absolutely nothing to make me feel better. You held it against me, Harry! You didn’t even try to tell me it was okay.”

“It’s not so fucking simple,” he says, his cheeks flushed pink. Maybe it was anger, or maybe it was embarrassment from being confronted with an ugly truth.

“It is. And now you’ve upgraded to a newer model, maybe her version comes with a fertile womb.” I take the cheap shot.

He doesn’t say anything though. And I don’t know why that hurts more than knowing he’d fallen for another woman while he was still married to me. My best friend in the whole world had just broken my heart into a million irrevocable pieces.

“It’s a bunch of things Y/N,” he finally says. “That’s just part of it. We’re not...we’re just not working!”

“Did you even try to make it work?” I ask, swiping my sleeve across my face. “Did you ever think how I felt? How you made me feel Harry? You’ve been slipping away from me without talking to me-” I break off. I couldn’t speak through the heartbreak, the thunderstorm of grief threatens to consume me and my sobs are the only thing that manages to come out.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” Harry tries to place a hand on my shoulder but I jerk away, moving to sit on the edge of the bathtub. “Y/N...”

“Just go,” I say through the tears.

“We can talk more about this later-”

"Just go,” I say louder.

Harry’s phone rings again from the bedroom and he sighs. But he leaves me, crying on the bathroom floor. The sadness that was always in my peripheral consumes me. I’d carried this sadness for a long time--ever since I found out my mum was sick, the sadness plagued me. I’d neatly packed it up once I decided to move forward with my life like my mum would want me to, but now it comes back tenfold, marrying the grief of losing Harry like this. And I stay on the floor crying my grief away for hours, eventually crawling into bed and sleeping the daylight away.

When I wake, it’s 6 and Harry isn’t home. I take that as a sign and get up to pack up a few things. I call my sister who still lived in London then, and crash on her couch, staying there for a few weeks and ignoring any call or text from Harry. When I need to go back, for my things, I find him sleeping on the couch with the TV on, something I always found endearing. But I can’t afford to dwell on how much it hurt seeing him like that.

He must have woken from the noise because when he finds me, he tries to stop me and tell me that we still needed to talk.

“About what?” I ask, just tired now. Too many tears shed and too many hours laying awake thinking about the exact moment we went wrong.

“Us,” Harry looked tired too. He was probably throwing himself into his work with nothing like me to hold him back, I think bitterly. His girlfriend had probably already been to our house--his house.

“What about us?” I barely look at him as I begin folding away all my clothes.

“I don’t know,” Harry sits on the bed. “Don’t you want to talk?”

“I’ve got nothing to say, do you?”

Harry sighs, “I don’t know.”

“Nice talk then,” I say, shoving the rest of my things in just so I could get out.

“I just want you to know I care about you Y/N, I don’t want to hurt you.” He says as I pack.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. If you cared about me, and you didn’t want to hurt me you wouldn’t have done this to us.”

“I wasn’t trying to--I didn’t mean to go and fall for someone else-”

“Just stop,” I cut him off. I couldn’t hear it, how the man I loved fell for someone else. I couldn’t break down here. Again.

He said he cared but it didn’t feel that way. It hurt more than I wished to admit. He knew what I’d been through and he still betrayed me, tossed my heart like it was replaceable. The cut he left in me ran deep.

As I leave he tries to talk to me, but I barrel past him. He still reaches for me and pulls me into a hug, I struggle against him but he’s too strong. He wraps me in his arms until I go still but it’s too much. A sob escapes me, and this time he lets me push him off and leave, my bag banging into my hips every time I take a step. As soon as I got into my Uber, I can’t stop crying. There was an infinite pool of tears where Harry was involved.

3 years ago:

My trust and my heart had been been lost in the war between Harry and I. It only took him a month to mail my divorce papers which sat collecting dust on my dining table until he showed up at work one day and demanded I sign them by the end of that week. I’d taken the day off the day I mailed those in, mourning the end of something that was once so safe and beautiful.

When a close friend calls me on a warm July afternoon, I don’t consider her warning that I shouldn’t check Instagram. That I still had Harry’s friends on my list. I open Instagram before she can tell me why, and see it. Harry was getting married, again. To the woman he gave up on us for. I try to zoom in on a picture without liking it, she was pretty...and blonde. She looked familiar--probably from his office. It didn’t take him long.

It was like someone had taken a retractor to the wound I thought had finally scabbed over. The physical proof that Harry had moved on is just the salt on the wound.

I cry myself to sleep that night.

2 Years ago;

The guy in front of me drones on about his job, mansplaining to me how a mortgage worked as if I wasn’t in finance myself. I excuse myself to use the restroom, checking my phone to see a text from my sister. She’d moved to Scotland this year, to where her husband was from, and I’d missed her terribly in the last year.

A little birdie told me your demon-ex just got divorced 🥂

I stare at the screen, chest feeling tight. I felt vindicated somehow, but I also felt a small bit of sadness. What a fuck-up.

Good for him I had texted back. A part of me wanted him to hurt the way he hurt me.

I went back to my date with a renewed enthusiasm. I’d ordered more wine and got so drunk he was actually interesting enough to take home.

About 1 year ago

“Y/N,” a voice from my past says, one that haunted me some nights. I turn as I exit the shop I was just in. I blink at the sight before me, Harry in a vest and hat. He realises what I’m staring at and laughs awkwardly. “I’m in uniform.”

“You’re...police?” I look up to his face finally. He hadn’t aged a day, although the hat he wears makes him look a little silly.

“Yeah I joined the force uhm...almost 4 years ago now...law didn’t really suit me.”

I know what he was doing, trying to find a baseline to have a conversation. But he was dead to me, and I didn’t want to invite him back in when I was finally forgetting about him.

"Seems like you dropped a lot of dead-weight four years ago.”

I watch his face fall as he realises I wasn’t going to pretend to be friendly.

“Seems that way to you,” he says cautiously. “But that’s not how it happened.”

I shrug. “So. I heard about the divorce. Must’ve been hard being put through that.”

I knew I was being petty, obviously I never got the closure I want (according to my therapist) and I wasn’t over him hurting me the way he did (also according to my therapist). This was how I got my peace, and it wasn’t the best version of me but it was the only one I knew how to be right now.

“Yep,” he crosses his arms over his chest. “So, are you seeing anyone?”

He knew I wasn’t, I don’t know how but the way he stoops to my level I know he knows I hadn’t had a long term relationship since him.

“Not at the moment,” I say awkwardly. “Just focusing on my job...trying to get this promotion.”

“Sorry,” he seems to shake off whatever had come over him. “That was...nosy, I shouldn’t have asked.”

Having him be the bigger person sets something off in me, like there was an anger-bomb inside my mind where he lived and knowing that he was doing okay enough to be able to be the bigger person disrupts this calm I was trying to keep.

“Maybe you shoudn’t have stopped me to ask anything at all. We don’t have anything to talk about anyway.”

I turn around and start to walk away but he catches up, “I wasn’t trying to upset you-”

“Well you have a way of doing that. Please just leave me alone Harry.”

He huffs beside me, “After all this time, can’t we just bloody talk like two adults?”

I freeze and turn to him slowly. He seems to sense this was the wrong thing to say because he takes a step back. “After all this time? Are you serious? I was the one you left behind Harry when you went off to lives your best lift Harry. We’re not living the same life, and we’re not coming from the same bloody place. Don’t fucking patronize me and ask me to talk to you like an adult when you bring out the worst part of me. I meant what I said: I want you to leave me alone. And you know what, if we ever run into each other again, just don’t even talk to me. Pretend you don’t know me. I want nothing to do with you.”

He opens his mouth but his partner calls him from the shop’s entrance. He stays silent, letting me go. As soon as I turn the street corner I rush the rest of the way to the tube, collapsing into a seat and trying to sort out my breathing. It was a shitty feeling, knowing someone was going to be in your life forever because you shared so much history that even when that part of your life ended they were still there. There was so much apart of me, around me, that reminded me of him. And it felt so lonely carrying that around. I wanted to be done with him, I wanted my heart to purge him out. But it couldn’t stop carrying him around everywhere I go.

[niksixx]

Ice Cream

Requested: Nada :D 

Pairing: The Dirt! Tommy Lee x Fem!Reader 

Description: Best friend Tommy comforts you after your boyfriend dumps you

A/N: Reblog, comment, add tags if you wish! Thank you for reading my work. 

Y/E/N: Your Ex’s Name

*GIF is NOT mine. Found on Google. Credit to the owner.* 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He hadn’t even heard it from you.

While Tommy was disappointed Nikki was the first one to hear the news (it was accidental; you’d let it slip), he wouldn’t hold it against you. Y/E/N had been your first real boyfriend, the one you shared all the firsts with. And he never liked the guy, not even a little bit; Tommy never liked any man that had shown you interest because they simply were never good enough for you in his eyes. Tommy would have rather you stayed single to avoid any heartbreak, but the damage was already done after committing yourself to Y/E/N for four years and then being dumped out of the blue. Tommy wanted to do something to defend your honor; Break his nose, take a bat to his car, egg his house, something that would let Y/E/N know he was furious with him and the way he handled the situation. But Nikki had finally brought Tommy back to his senses, and the only thing that mattered was making sure he got to you as quickly as he could.

You didn’t answer the door when he knocked; He was shocked you’d left it unlocked, almost as if you were expecting him. He knew you weren’t, though. Like most people after suffering a broken heart, you just wanted to be left alone. And normally Tommy was good at listening to your wishes and giving you space when you needed it, and while you may have needed time away from reality right now, he knew you’d appreciate him coming to check on you.

In order to check on you though, he had to find you first. Tommy half expected to find you standing in front of the stove. When you were upset, you ate. Probably not the best coping mechanism, but it helped. So when you weren’t in the kitchen as Tommy predicted, he began to worry.

And to his surprise, your bed was empty. The sheets were crinkled, a sign you had laid there. He touches the linen gently, frowning at the thought of you lying alone in bed, wondering why you weren’t good enough. The pillow case is slightly damp from your tears, and Tommy exhales a breath.

A soft cry makes his head swivel toward the bathroom door that’s slightly left ajar. He knocks, announcing himself, before pushing open the door. A piece of his heart breaks off when he sees you lying in the jacuzzi tub, water and bubbles up to your neck, hair messily thrown on top of your head, mascara leaking down your cheeks.

You blink away the tears tiredly, sitting up slowly against the back of the tub. You weren’t expecting company. “What are you doing here, Tommy?”

He offers you a small smile, kneeling by the edge of the tub. He’s not phased by your nudity, although most of your body is shielded by the bubbles from your lavender bubble bath. Being friends for so long, he’s seen it all. “I came to check on you.”

“I’m fine. You can leave.”

“Ouch,” Tommy chuckles, dipping his hand in the water. He flicks a few droplets onto your cheeks. It doesn’t phase you. “I’ll pretend that didn’t hurt.”

“I just want to be alone right now.” Your voice wavers and Tommy shoots you a look.  “But do you? Really?”

Your bottom lip trembles, not thinking twice before throwing your arms around Tommy’s neck, softly whimpering into his shirt. He holds you tight, fingers gliding up and down the wet skin of your back. He doesn’t remember the last time you hugged him so fiercely and with so much passion.

“What did I do wrong, Tommy? After four years, why wasn’t I good enough for him?” He knew you’d blame yourself for the failed relationship. But he hoped you realized later on that you weren’t the problem. “I planned our life together. Everything. From the type of home we’d buy to the kids’ names and even the dogs’ names. And he just left. He walked away like the last four years didn’t mean a damn thing to him. How could he? They meant everything to me. He...meant everything to me.”

Tommy’s never seen you so broken, not even the time he had first left to tour with his band. The cracks in your voice pierce his heart and he’s not sure if anything he can do or say will make a difference. You’re hurt, wounded, and it’ll take time for the tear in your heart to heal.

“I don’t want you for a second thinking it was your fault,” He pulls you back, keeping you at arm's length. Wet mascara is smudged around your eyes and you know you look like a hot mess, but Tommy never cared about any of that stuff. “I’ll be honest Y/N, I didn’t like Y/E/N from the moment you started dating. Thought he was a dick then and he proved it today.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Tommy shrugs. “You were happy. I didn’t want to screw that up for you.”

You couldn’t be mad at Tommy, though it would have been nice to know that your best friend had seen the red flags long ago. Maybe it would have saved you from the immense heartbreak. Or maybe you wouldn’t have believed him, thought he was investing himself in the role of an overprotective best friend, and continued dating Y/E/N anyway. No point in dwelling in the past and on things you couldn’t change.

You scrub a hand over your face, chuckling at all the mascara you cried off. “I’m pathetic, aren’t I?”

“That’s the last thing I’d call you. Hurt, upset, and heartbroken? Definitely. Pathetic? Hardly.” Tommy takes notice of your fingers, now shriveled up like prunes. “But as your best friend, I refuse to let you sit and sulk over a man that never deserved you in the first place. Now get your ass out of the tub because you and I have plans.”

Your brows furrow. “What plans?”

~~~

If there was ever a time where you were most grateful for Tommy’s friendship, it was now. Sitting across from him at a 50s themed diner, a large ice cream sundae was placed between the two of you. He’d let you pick everything from the flavors down to the twenty toppings littered on top.

“You didn’t have to do this you know.” But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling better. What had Tommy said when you pulled up to the diner? Ice cream is the key to mending a broken heart. And while your heart was still raw, processing the range of emotions you’d felt that day, the ice cream was the bandage holding it together from completely falling apart.

“Of course I did,” Tommy responds nonchalantly. “This is what best friends are for, right? I can’t even begin to count all the things you’ve done for me. If I can put a smile on your face simply by taking you out for ice cream then I’m happy, too.”  

It was such a wonder how Tommy was still single. His heart was too good for this world. In all the years you’ve been alive, you’d never come across anymore more kind, gentle, and thoughtful as Tommy. There were so many qualities he possessed that made him the ideal best friend. And maybe once back when you were young teenagers did you consider a relationship between you and the lanky, brownhaired rock drummer, but the thought was fleeting. You loved Tommy, nothing in the world could ever change those feelings, but the love was a friendly love, the kind you never wanted to jeopardize. And Tommy was okay with that, because in his mind, nothing would cause him more pain than losing you.

You pluck a gummy worm from the chocolate ice cream, pointing it in Tommy’s direction. “How did you even know we broke up?”

“Nikki. And I was a bit offended I wasn’t the first to know,” Tommy snickers around a mouthful of strawberry ice cream. He digs into the sundae with his fingers, pulling out a blue M&M, and tosses it right at your forehead. “That’s for not telling me.”

“Hey!” You swat him with the gummy worm. Tommy laughs heartily. “I didn’t even mean to tell Nikki. It slipped out! I called him to figure out where you were since I called three times and you didn’t answer.”

Tommy purses his lips when you raise a brow. “Ah. You called when my phone was dead.”

Your laughs are heard around the diner and a few waiters give you a hard look, but it’s the first time you smiled all day and felt something other than heartbreak. “You never fail to make me laugh, Tommy Lee.” Reaching across the table, you lace your fingers with his. “I hope you make me laugh forever and take me on all the ice cream dates when I’m sad.” You shoot a dramatic wink his way, chuckling to yourself when he brings your hand to his lips to lightly kiss your knuckles. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make you happy. I’d buy all the ice cream in the world if it made you smile.”

[softboywriting]

Can’t Hurry Love | Peter Mendes

Summary: You and Peter have been best friends for years and one day you wake up to realize you’ve fallen for him. When he finds out you’ve never been kissed, he decides to offer himself up as practice. One thing leads to another and well, maybe you’re meant to be more than friends. [friends to lovers] [first kiss]

Word Count: 2k

|Masterlist in Bio|

Note: None of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.

No one tells you that falling in love with your best friend is the most terrifying feeling and simultaneously the best and most freeing relief. You don't know when it happened, what changed in you. You don't know why it happened. There is no pin pointing the moment you realized that your best friend Peter is the only person you want to share your life with. There wasn't a dynamic shift, a romantic gesture, a heart felt confession of love. Nothing. One day you woke up and met him at the end of the block to catch your bus to the college campus and your heart did a little flip flop when you saw him.

Perhaps you had been dreaming that night and you don't remember. That was your initial explanation for your new found feelings. You know, those temporary feelings that come with a dream about someone. It has happened before, not with Peter, but with other friends, crushes, random strangers you met in classes. But the feelings never went away, they became more insistent and every touch, every joke, every gesture became more than just a friendly feeling. They became soul crushing, heart clenching emotional moments that you replayed in your head every night before sleeping.

So here you are, three months later, walking up to Peter's house with your friend Haley. It's been hell, living with this secret and you've only told Haley about it. You're here for a party that Peter's brothers are throwing. They are going to the college hockey championships. It's a big deal around here. You brought Haley since she is absolutely gaga for Raul and she's been begging you to get her in with him since his last break up. She will be a good fit, and a far better girlfriend than any of the other girls Raul has dated. That is, if Haley can hit it off with him.

The moment you get in the front door the house is packed with people. Wall to wall partying. You part from Haley as she wanders into the kitchen and you head up the stairs. You know just where Peter's room is, you've only been here a couple thousand times since you were thirteen. Up the stairs, to the right, across the guest room and up the stairs in the closet to Peter's room in the attic. Could he have the guest room as his bedroom? Sure. But where's the fun in that? The attic is bigger and way more private.

You push open the door at the top of the stairs and you're hit with a gust of cold air. Typical. The balcony doors on the far side of the room don't latch properly because the frame broke years ago. He's gotten used to the freezing cold room in the winter, it's nothing new. He has a heater, a desk top thing he got online but it doesn't do much.

"You're here!" Peter cheers and gets up from his desk, discarding his console controller on the seat. "I've been wondering when you'd show up."

"Sorry, I was late because Haley was getting ready." You sigh softly. "She really wants to hit it off with Raul."

Peter chuckles. "Is she pretty?"

"Yeah of course. It's Haley. You remember? Blonde, short, great clothes."

"Oh! Yeah. She's going to school for fashion design right? Yeah she's cute, way nicer than his last girlfriend. Raul will probably like her. Did you introduce them?"

"No, I ditched her and came up here. She knows how to flirt."

Peter laughs. "You're so mean."

You shrug. "I don't like parties and I'm not playing matchmaker."

"I know." He puts his arm around your shoulders and walks you to the massive beanbag chair at the end of his bed. "I have my own bottle of whiskey. We can have our own party. Its even the apple kind."

You sink down into the soft beanbag and he drops next to you, reaching for said bottle on the bookshelf beside it. You haven't drank together since the feelings started, and you know it's a bad idea to start.

"You want to play never have I ever?"

"Uh, sure. But I know basically everything about you?"

"Not everything."

"Yeah okay." You laugh and he puts his legs over yours. "Alright, never have I ever accidentally stolen something."

Peter takes a drink from the bottle and grimaces. "That's not fair. You know it haunts me."

You smirk. "Well, I told you I know everything."

"Alright fine. Never have I ever had a first kiss." He drinks and passes the bottle to you.

You don't take a drink and pick at the hem of your shirt. This has taken a sharp turn very quickly.

"Wait, what, for real?"

You shake your head. "I've never been kissed."

"What?"

"You heard me."

Peter takes the bottle from between you and sets it aside on the floor. "How? Why?"

"It just hasn't happened."

"But you've had a boyfriend?"

You shake your head. "Never had that either. I just don't like getting close to people. I thought you knew this?"

"So you don't know how to kiss?"

"I know how! I just haven't done it yet. It's not that weird okay?"

Peter leans forward to look at you. "Do you wanna know what it's like?"

"Yeah, one day I guess."

"I mean, I could be your first kiss. I'm someone you trust and I'm not going to judge you if it's bad."

Your heart stops, a cold sick feeling grips your stomach. Does he know about your feelings? No, he's just trying to be nice. He wants you to be comfortable. He doesn't know. He can't. You're going to have to play this off. "I don't know. We're friends, what if it's weird?"

Peter repositions himself so he is sitting in front of you. "Never have I ever wanted to kiss my best friend." He takes a drink and hands you the bottle.

You roll your eyes, stomach aching. "That's not fair."

"Drink."

"I don't-"

"I know okay? Shawn told me. He said he overheard you talking about me with someone. I know you have a crush on me."

"What?! Shawn doesn't know anything!" You shove the bottle at Peter and get up. "I can't- you just believe him?!"

"Why are you getting so defensive?"

"Because! It's not- I don't- I'm scared okay?!" You ball your fists in your hoodie pocket and stare down at the floor.

Peter shifts and stands up, you see his sock covered feet in front of yours. "Can I talk now?"

"Yeah, sorry." You mumble.

He puts his hands out in front of him, palms up for you to grab them. "Hold my hands."

You do as he says and he closes his fingers around yours.

"It's okay that you have a crush on me. We've been close for years now. I know you have a hard time opening up to people and that's why you don't date. It's normal that you'd develop feelings for me since I'm someone you trust and you're comfortable with."

"But you don't like me like that."

"Actually," he chuckles and squeezes your hands. "I do. I'm sorry I brought it up like this, that wasn't fair."

"It's okay."

"Look at me, please?"

You look up and he leans in and kisses you quickly. Just a small press of lips before you can fully register that it happened. Your body reacts nonetheless. Heart pounding, a cold sweat on your neck. It feels like a dream but more like a nightmare.

"You okay?"

"I think I'm going to puke."

"Oh." Peter steps back and grabs his trash can, holding it up for you. "That's not reassuring."

"No. It's not you. It's me. I'm freaking out."

Peter sets the can down and wraps his arms around you as you start to shake. "It's fine, everything is fine. Take a deep breath."

"Peter no!" You feel it happening and then it comes up onto Peter's chest, not quite throw up but still gross like bile. "No no no."

Peter steps back and sighs shakily. "This isn't the worst thing." He pulls his hoodie off and tosses it aside into the hamper. "It's fine, don't worry. It's fine."

You sit down on the bed and cover your face. "It's not fine. I just upchucked on you!"

"You did and it's fine." Peter hands you a water bottle from somewhere and sets the can by your feet. "I'm washable and so are the clothes."

"I'm so sorry."

"Why? Because your body reacted? I've done worse." He sits down on the floor across from you and stretches his legs out. "Maybe if we keep talking it'll get easier."

"Or I'll puke more."

He bumps his foot against yours and strokes it over your ankle comfortingly. "Are you scared we can't be friends? Or are you upset about something else?"

"I guess I've never been in this situation and I'm scared we won't work out if we go for more than friends. I don't want to ruin my friendship with you. You're my best friend, I can't lose you."

"That's okay. We don't have to do anything you don't want to. Just because we have feelings doesn't mean we have to act on them."

"I know but...we... everything is messed up now. I'd rather go back to suffering in silence." You take a big drink and rinse your mouth out.

Peter pushes up off the floor and kicks the trash can aside. He crawls on the bed behind you and pulls you back against him. "Let's just start slow. We'll test the boundaries and figure out if we really want each other."

You tuck your feet against his and he pulls the blanket from behind him over the both of you. "Cuddling?"

"Mmmhmm. The most basic form of affection."

"I don't know about that." You grab his hand on your chest and put your fingers through his. "I feel like there are more basic things."

"Oh shh." Peter chuckles and presses his nose against your hair. "Can I confess something now?"

"Yeah."

"I've wanted to be more than friends for over a year now. So, you're not alone in feeling conflicted about everything."

You turn in his hold and face him. His arm falls on the bed between you. "Really?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He laughs.

You reach up and touch his nose. It's so cute when he laughs and it crinkles up. "I was scared."

"So was I."

"Do you think we should be together?"

"Yeah. I think knowing everything about each other and yet we still have these feelings means something. I think it's special. You can't hurry love and we definitely haven't done that."

You nod. "Can I kiss you? I want to try."

Peter nods.

You take in a deep shaky breath and scoot closer. "Close your eyes."

He does as you say.

You press your lips against his and he doesn't react. It's just lips on lips.

"Can I kiss you back?" Peter mutters.

"Uh-huh."

Peter slides his hand into your hair and cups the back of your head. Suddenly it's not just an awkward lips on lips situation, it's a real kiss coming from your real best friend. He licks against your lip and you freeze. "It's okay," he says into your mouth. "We can stop, just say when."

"Stop."

Peter pulls back and looks at you, a smile spreading across his face. "How was your first kiss?"

You lick your lip and feel a flush rising up your neck. "Good. You're...you're pretty good."

"Are you sure? Maybe I'm really really horrible but you have nothing to compare to." He teases and you shove him.

"Peter! That's not funny!"

He cackles and gathers you into his arms. "Okay okay. I promise I won't tease you about it. I'm glad it wasn't bad."

You tuck your face into his shoulder and wrap your arms around his back. He smells good, like laundry and body wash. "I'm not so scared now."

"Good." He rubs his hand up your back and plays with your hair. "I'm not going to let you feel unsafe. I promise, I'll be everything you need."

"Pinky promise?"

Peter laughs softly and hooks his pinky with yours. "Pinky promise."

End

----------------

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****

[isolemnlyswearpevensie]

God Damn Smile | Edmund Pevensie x Reader

Warnings: Fluff :)

Time/Era: Modern AU

Word count: 3.7k 

Summary: Edmund reconnects with his childhood best friend, and it makes old, forgotten feelings resurface. 

Request: Hey! Can you write an Edmund x reader based on “A Typical Teenage Love Song” by Tate McRae? It’s fine if you can’t. Tsym in advance!

A/N: This song is so cute :D Ahhh, I love this imagine!!! I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! Thanks for the request :)

masterlist | read on ao3

“No! Don’t step on him!” Five year old Y/N L/N yelled at her friend, Edmund Pevensie. He had his foot raised above a small garden snail, right in the middle of a game of Godzilla. The pair were currently in Y/N’s back garden, playing amongst all the plants. Both children were dressed in brightly colored rain boots and their play clothes to enjoy the rainy weather. 

“It’s just a snail,” Edmund responded, lowering his leg to the ground. Instead of squishing the garden creature, he kneeled down to the ground for a better look. It wasn’t anything special, just a normal garden snail, but it seemed to be rather important to his playmate. 

“He is not just a snail! He is my friend.”

“If he’s your friend, what’s his name then?” Edmund let the small snail crawl up onto his finger before standing upright. 

“Snaily,” Y/N responded, putting her hand out and throwing the teddy bear in her arms to the ground. Edmund placed Snaily on her palm and smiled a toothy smile. This made Y/N grin, putting her hand at eye level. “Thank you for not squashing him.”

“He’s my friend now, too. You don’t squash friends.” 

Y/N nodded in agreement, “You don’t squash friends.” 

~

“Do you remember being a baby?” Edmund asked Y/N. They were now eight and sitting on the Pevensie family swing set, avoiding the youngest Pevensie child, Lucy. Y/N adored Lucy, she thought the girl was adorable, but Edmund insisted the two have “big kid things” to attend to. 

The swing set was old and rickety, as it had been in their family since Edmund’s older brother, Peter was a toddler. The colors were faded, the slide had a large crack in it and Edmund had written his and Y/N’s initials on one of the support beams. “No, am I supposed to?” Y/N answered. She had been last to reach the swings, so she was stuck with the squeaky one. Her face cringed each time the chains made a noise, despite her attempts to stay as still as possible. Y/N brought her hands to the teddy bear on her lap, covering its ears. Having been in the sun all afternoon, the swing was hot on her legs and it stuck uncomfortably to the skin on her thighs. 

“I don’t think so. My parents were looking at our baby books this morning so I was wondering,” 

“My mom has a picture of us when we were three hanging in our living room,” Y/N’s nose wrinkled and she kicked up a small patch of dirt. “We’ve been friends since we were babies. I don’t remember meeting you, though. You were just, there.” 

Edmund laughed, standing so he could lean his stomach against the seat of the swing. He swung on his stomach once before situating back onto his feet. “Our fathers are friends which means we’re friends. That’s just the way the world works.”

“Friends forever, even if one of us moves far far far far away?”

“Friends forever, Y/N.” 

~

“Do you have to go?” Ten-year-old Edmund stood outside of Y/N’s house, holding a box of barbies. Mr. L/N took the box from Ed’s hand and put it in the trunk of his car. 

“It should only be for a few years at most, Ed. I’m getting relocated for work,” Mr. L/N responded, messing the young boy’s hair up with one hand. “We’ll be back. I gave your Dad our new address and you can write to Y/N to your heart’s content.”

When Y/N joined them at the car, backpack slung across her shoulder and her favorite teddybear hugged between her arms, tears were rolling down her face. 

“I don’t want to go, please don’t make me!” She cried, holding to her teddy to her chest. Her face was scarlet and her mouth was etched into a frown. 

“You can stay with us!” Edmund offered, his own tears starting to roll down his face. Y/N was more than just his playmate, she was his best friend. They had spent the last seven years of their life seeing eachother almost daily, and now all of that was going to come to a sudden halt. 

“That’s sweet of you, buddy, but I think her mother and I would miss her too much,” Mr. L/N smiled down at the two before walking to the front of the car where his wife was talking to Helen Pevensie. 

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” Edmund sniffled. “I’m going to miss you. I have no one to play on the swings with!”

“You can play with Lucy.” Edmund made a face at this suggestion, making Y/N sadly giggle. “Or Peter.”

“No, Lucy cries too much and Peter always kicks sand in my eyes.” 

A thoughtful look came over Y/N’s face and she looked down at the plush in her arms. After a small moment of what looked like intense thought, she held her teddy out towards Edmund. 

“Here, Ed, now you can have a friend!” Edmund hesitantly took the bear from Y/N’s hands and looked down at it. It was obvious Y/N really loved that thing because it was a bit raggedy and one of the brown button eyes was replaced with a bright green one. “Teddy likes it better here, anyway. You can take care of him.” 

Y/N awkwardly gripped her upper arm with her hand, swaying on her heels. Edmund hugged it to him and nodded stiffly. “He’s in good hands. I will protect him with my life.”

Both kids laughed and embraced before Y/N was whisked into the car. 

~

Dear Y/N, 

Happy 12th birthday! I’m sad I couldn’t be there for it, but I hope your cake was yummy. The picture my mum showed me looked absolutely delicious. She also said you took up archery at your new school! My school doesn’t offer that, so I thought that was cool. Did you shoot anything? I know you are too nice to shoot any animals but I never know with you. ;) I hung out with this girl in my English class the other day, she reminded me of you. She had long brown hair and blue eyes and a laugh that sounds like yours. She wasn’t as fun as you, though. I think she wants me to be her boyfriend. I’m not sure if I want to be her boyfriend. She kept trying to hold my hand. Her hand was sweaty. And she kept saying I have a cute smile. I don’t know how a smile can be cute? Teeth are weird. Peter said that was her way of trying to flirt with me. Do you flirt with boys at your school? What do you say?

Maybe we can play Minecraft together again soon. Last time we played I had a great time. Have your mom text mine and we can try to schedule something. I want a phone, it would be easier to talk to you.

I attached a picture of me and Teddy at the park. He misses you almost as much as I do.

I’ll be waiting for your response, 

Ed

.

Ed, 

Thank you for the birthday wishes. :D The cake was delicious, I wish you could have tried it!!! And to answer your question, yes, but I’ve only ever shot targets. It’s against school rules to shoot anything other than them. Sort of a bummer, though. 

Your not-girlfriend sounds nice. I agree with her, your smile is very nice. You always look so happy when you smile, especially when your eyes light up. 

I don’t really flirt with boys, boys are kinda gross. Not you of course, but the guys at my school. There is this one guy named Ethan who is kinda cute. He wouldn’t want to be my boyfriend though. My friend always talks about kissing him. I want to kiss someone...have you ever kissed a girl? 

My mum said I can get a phone when I turn 14. Then, we can text and call whenever we want! I miss you. How’s teddy? He looks so happy in that picture. I hung it on my bulletin board. 

Respond quicker this time, will ya?

Y/N

~

EDMUND!!!

I’M HAVING A CRISIS AT THE RIPE OLD AGE OF 13! Remember that boy, Ethan? Well, apparently he has a big crush on me. That’s fine, he’s cute and everything, but my friend has a big crush on him. I guess it’s like friendship code to not date him? I feel bad rejecting him. I kinda have a crush on someone already. I know he doesn’t like me though. 

Are you still dating that one girl? In your last letter, you said you were gonna break up with her. How’d that go? Did she cry? Did you cry? I hope you didn’t. I don’t like it when you cry. It makes me sad. 

Can you believe we’re teenagers now? It seems like just yesterday I was handing you Teddy and crying in the car for an hour. I hope we come back soon. But hey! I’m almost 14, which means I’ll be getting a cell phone. Maybe if I have a phone my mum can convince yours to get you one. 

I miss you, Ed. I hope to be back soon. 

Y/N. 

.

Y/N!!!!

I’m not sure if that really counts as a crisis, but okay. If you don’t like him, don’t date him. That’s why I broke up with mine. I discovered I kind of like someone else, so I broke up with her. And no, I didn’t cry. If felt like a relief more than anything. Let me know how the “crisis” turns out. 

I can’t wait until I get a phone. My entire grade has one, and so do Susan and Peter. I feel kind of left out, having to write letters when I want to talk to someone. It’s always fun when I get them, though. 

If I have to hear Stitches by Shawn Mendes one more time, my head is going to explode!!!! Susan keeps playing it on repeat. I tried to turn it off earlier and she almost broke my arm. Why are siblings so mean? Or are mine just weird? You’re lucky you’re an only child. I miss you too, Y/N. If you were here life would be so much easier. 

Edmund

~

“Edmund, you got a letter,” Lucy says, dropping the envelope on his desk. He was working on college applications, typing away on his laptop, and looking grumpy. Music blasted through his speakers as he worked. 

“I didn’t order anything?” He grunted in response, not taking his eyes off of the screen. 

“It’s from the girl you’re basically in love with, I think. It has her name on it.” Edmund looked at the envelope with scrunched eyebrows. Sure enough, it had her name and address written on the front in her familiar handwriting. His heart rate sped up while he gently (and shakily) broke the paper seal. Why didn’t she just text him? 

Hey, Edmund,

I know we haven’t talked since we were like 15 and I could have just texted you, but this seemed more nostalgic and romantic in a way. You know how I tend to romanticize everything. 

Anyway, I wanted to let you know we’re moving back for Senior year, crazily enough. A few years my ass, huh? We’ll be back on the 14th, so get ready for chaos. 

Seriously, I’m looking forward to seeing you outside of Instagram again. You don’t have to come see me if you don’t want to, I know it might be a bit awkward, but I’d really like it if you did. My address is 1014 Swanwhite Lane. Come stop by if you feel like it. 

I do miss you. Judging by your social media, you’re doing well. I’m happy to hear that. 

Hopefully, I’ll see you soon.

Y/N

“Oh my god, she’s coming back,” Edmund says, gripping the thin paper in between his thumb and middle finger. “What’s the date?” 

Lucy pulled her phone out of her pocket and unlocked it, “The 28th. Why?”

“She got back the 14th! She’s been back for ages and I had no idea, oh my god!” 

“Well, are you going to go see her? You lost your chance to sweep her off her feet by waiting for her to arrive.”

“Sweep her off her feet?” Lucy rolled her eyes and hit him with the rest of the family’s mail. 

“Don’t play stupid. I’ve heard you and Peter talking.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His eyes skimmed the letter again. Lucy snatched it from his fingers and hit him with it. 

“Don’t know what I’m talking about? Really, Ed? The whole ‘I’ve been in love with her since I was 8 years old’ thing you told Pete? You don’t recall? Or the fact you have her post notifications on?” Lucy read the letter herself. “She wants to see you! Come on, this is your chance. You haven’t even looked at a girl since you were like 13.” 

“I’ve been focusing on school. What’s wrong with that?”

“It’s a Friday night in the middle of August and you’re getting a head start on college applications. Ed, go see the girl.” 

“Mum will never let me,” Lucy held up one finger and left the room. After about 5 minutes, she returned and held his coat out to him. 

“She said to go have fun. Here, it might be chilly.” Edmund sighed and took his jacket. The corduroy felt soft under his fingers as he slid it on. 

“You don’t have to be so pushy, Lu.” 

Lucy smiled, “It’s only because I love you. Besides, if I didn’t push you, you wouldn’t go.”

~

Edmund sat on the curb across the street and looked up at Y/N’s house. It was well past 11 at this point and only one light in the house was on. Hopefully, it was Y/N’s. 

He awkwardly thumbed through his contacts before pulling up Y/N’s. The last text was on his birthday, a simple two message conversation consisting of “Happy Birthday!” and “Thanks!”

Look outside 

He watched nervously as his message went from delivered to read, but no typing bubble popped up. Edmund sighed and stood, shoving his phone into his jacket pocket and walking towards the house. Sure enough, the front door opened and a grown-up Y/N stepped out. She was still dressed, but her shoes were off and her hair was tied back. Edmund smiled at her mismatched socks, old habits die hard apparently. 

“I thought you were never going to come and see me,” Her voice was like honey. 

“I just got the letter today, so blame the postal service. Not me.” The two walked to the curb and sat down. 

“Well, I’m glad you still came. I was expecting you to wimp out.”

“Wimp out?! Why would I do that?” 

Y/N let out a forced chuckle and looked at the pavement. “Because you stopped answering my texts and calls.” She crossed her arms across her body and shivered. She was only wearing a short-sleeve shirt and a pair of pajama shorts. “But I get it, life gets in the way sometimes.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Are you cold?” Without waiting for an answer, he shrugs off his jacket and drapes it across Y/N’s shoulders. It smelled like spearmint gum and pine. 

Y/N let out a real chuckle this time. “Smooth, Ed. Very cheesy.” 

“I will happily take it back.” 

“Please don’t, this is the closest I’ve been to you in years.” Her fingers gripped the material and closed it around her torso. She scooted closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. Edmund didn’t quite know what to do. “I missed you, Edmund. It’s so nice to see you again.” 

“I missed you too. Your return is a few years late.” His chest vibrated with a snicker. 

“I know, but I’m back now.” A moment of silence filled the air as the two tried to grow more comfortable in the familiar company. 

“I used to dream about sitting with you like this, you know,” Edmund said before he could stop himself. 

“You did?”

“Yeah, I used to picture us in all sorts of situations, but most of them were small things like this.” 

“But not anymore?”

Edmund sighed, laying his head on top of hers. His hair tickled Y/N’s forehead. “I figured you moved on from me.”

“Moved on? What do you mean?”

“I mean, you have so many friends and a new life… and we stopped texting as often. I don’t know, I thought you, maybe, outgrew me.” 

Y/N played with the zipper on Edmund’s jacket, making a small clicking noise fill the air. “I never outgrew you, Ed. In fact, a day didn’t go by that I didn’t wish I was here with you.” 

“I don’t see why. You had so many friends and such an exciting life. I’m rather dull in comparison.”

“You’re definitely not dull. And it doesn’t matter how many friends it seems like I have, you’re the only one I consider a best friend. I should have reached out more, maybe I could have had a better year.” 

Edmund shifted so he could wrap an arm around her waist. “Did you have a bad year?”

“Yeah, that’s sort of why we came back. But, I mean, I’m here with you, so everything has a bright side.” 

Edmund grinned and tightened his grip. “That’s one of the things I love most about you. You can always see the positives in everything.” Y/N pulled back and looked at his face. 

“I love it when you smile,” Y/N commented. “I could spend hours staring at that god damn smile.” Edmund’s cheeks reddened and his smile grew bigger. 

“Why don’t you, then? Stay with me for hours, I mean.” 

“I will if you let me, Pevensie.” 

Edmund sniffed once. 

“Did you ever end up dating that guy from your Chemistry class?” Edmund asks, studying the side of her face. His eyes scanned over her skin, admiring how soft it looked. 

“No, I’ve been in love with someone else for quite some time.” 

“What a lucky guy, then.” Edmund’s voice was only a bit louder than a mumble as he turned his head away from her. 

“Yeah, I guess he is. I’ve known him since I was really young.” 

“How’d you meet him?” Every word felt like a dagger into his stomach. 

“I don’t remember, he was always just there. Our dads were friends so we were friends. That’s just how the world works.” Edmund took his hand off of Y/N and placed it in his lap. 

“Oh, I see.” 

“Yeah, he’s super cute. He’s really smart, too, but kinda oblivious.”  

“Wow, he sounds great, Y/N. I’m so happy for you.” Each word sounded like he was choking them out. He stopped listening a few responses ago, but he still wanted to support her. No matter how hurt he felt, he was still her friend. 

“He’s the best person I’ve ever met, if I’m being quite honest. He can be a bit of an ass though.”

“What’s his name?” 

“You might know him,” Y/N tucked her hands into her sleeves before continuing. “His name is Edmund Pevensie.” 

“Wow, what a cool- wait what?” Y/N giggled at the look on his face. His eyebrows were lifted and his mouth was open slightly. 

“Yeah, I don’t know, maybe you’ve met him.” 

“You’ve been in love with me?” 

“Been and am, darling. God, when I got your text tonight my heart almost stopped.” Edmund was speechless, he couldn’t believe the girl he had been in love with for so long felt the same way. “Of course it’s okay if you don’t feel the same-”

“-No! I’m just shocked. I can’t believe this. I have loved you since we were little, I feel like I’m dreaming.” He couldn’t help but let the smile engulf his face, making his freckles stand out against his red cheeks. This was not what he was expecting when he had walked to her house. 

“There’s that handsome smile I love to see.” 

“So, you were waiting for me?” 

“Just like you were waiting for me. Lucy texted me about six months ago about how you never show any interest when she tries to set you up with girls. Now is just our time, unless you aren’t going to show interest in me.” 

“When did you get so sassy?” Edmund turned so he was facing her straight on. 

“When did you get so flust-” She was cut off mid-word by his warm lips being pressed against hers. He tasted like licorice and mint, and Y/N instantly got intoxicated off of his lips. Both parties had dreamed about this moment for years, so now that it was happening, it left them both feeling light-headed. Edmund pulled back and smirked. 

“Who’s the flustered one now?” He asks, hand cupping her cheek. 

“Does this mean you’re finally mine?”

“Y/N, I’ve always been yours. Hell, I’ll always be yours.” 

Edmund made a face as if he remembered something and reached into his backpack, “By the way, I’m not the only one who missed you.” He placed a very old teddy bear in his lover’s lap. 

He had raggedy fur and one green eye.