#they were right it fitz the theme better

[creativesparkz]

stand up puppet boy,

it’s time to start the show!

(happy dhmis tv show one year anniversary❤️❤️❤️YIPPEEEEE)

[snowsays]

on my knees hands clasped together in front of me pleading for you to infodump about your fic in which vertina is jolie’s human wife

oh noo, I fear you're gonna be disappointed 😖😖 the fic is not about them 👉🏻👈🏻 im not even sure if they would have appeared

it's actually a sokeefe fic that consumed my brain for -checks notes- four whole days, in which I wrote 8.4k words. I got inspired by this AU. I have actually mentioned it a little before in this blog, I asked for headcanons on what each member of the gang would study/wear/like, because it's a human!college!au, and I actually made a pinterest board with fashion inspo for Biana, Sophie, Keefe and Fitz lmao (you can check it out here if you wanna) and a spotify playlist for Biana and Sophie like those you can make with a friend where spotify automatically fills it with music according to the tastes of each of you

so basically my general idea was that Sophie and Keefe meet at a party where they make out and then the next day they bump into each other at Everglen for spring break. I was writing it on the go bc I hadnt written fanfiction in 12 years (something got into my brain last year and I had an idea for an Eragon fanfic, wrote like a page then got busy, and now this one) so I only had a vague idea of what I wanted to happen which was: make out/have sex at party so its real awkward the next day at everglen (I basically got to this point before the brainrot stopped), couple nightly accidental meetups bc neither of them can sleep, talk about their trauma??, have sex again??, and that was it 😂

but me being me, I got really into making it make sense. So the ~Lore~ I came up with was:

The Reuwens adopted Sophie and Amy after the Fosters died in a fire (cuz we gotta keep it in theme right?)

Jolie lives, and is happily married with Vertina. Fuck Brady (didnt think too much about what happened to him, but maybe he couldve gone to jail?)

Jolie is an adult and out of the house ofc, she's still 15 years older than Sophie

The Reuwens have an animal sanctuary, I was thinking horse sanctuary also inspired by another fanfic I read (but that one was a Haikyuu one)

Sophie drives an old pick-up truck, and Biana has a Suzuki Vitara Live (which she got to spite Luzia Vacker, who is her great-aunt and very conservative. It was a compromise, Biana wanted a Ram pick-up bc Luzia was all "ladies should only drive small cars" but Della and Alden got her to accept the Suzuki) (< that was inspired by my own experience with a family friend who wanted me to sell him my Renault Sandero Stepway and he would give me a Chevrolet Spark bc it was "better for girls")

Foxfire is a college

Sophie, Biana and Stina are roommates. They rent an apartment together (they're in third year, Sophie transferred to Foxfire in second year and got placed as Biana's roommate, who wasnt happy bc she hadnt had one before, but they became friends after helping each other with classes stuff)

Likewise, Fitz, Keefe, Dex and (I was still deciding if) Tam live together in a house (it's Cassius')

Sophie and Biana dont like Stina and she doesnt like them either

Sophie ends up going with Biana to Fitz and Keefe's party bc Stina goaded her about being boring, and then also ends up in Keefe's room to spite Stina

Sophie and Stina are both studying to be veterinarians (the college situation is a mix of how I know american colleges work and how they work in my country)

Biana I was thinking fashion design and/or art. Keefe also art

Also I got an anon after I asked for hcs that mentioned poli-sci/law for Fitz but also culinary so I was thinking he started poli-sci/law at Alden's behest (like Alvar) but then changed majors to culinary. I was thinking to give him and Biana issues with parental expectations and all that (but probably not super detailed)

Dex's major was mechanical ingeneering, and also he and Biana are dating

Also the reason Sophie was spending spring break with Biana and not the Reuwens was that Jolie and Vertina were in their honeymoon, and Grady and Edaline got excited so Sophie and Amy convinced them to go on their own couples trip, and then Amy made plans with her roommate so Biana invited Sophie to Everglen

No one knew Keefe was gonna go too. I was thinking he had a fight with Cassius about the party the morning after so Fitz told him to just go to Everglen with him

and I think that was it. i'm sorry it wasnt more joliexvertina centric, I hope you enjoyed it anyway

[spectrum-color]

re your tags on the chosen one post, I'm curious about the similarities you see between Rand and Fitz cause I've noticed them too (though you may have picked up more than I have)

Oh this is a good one! I have put a lot of thought into it.

-They are both orphans with a complex relationship with their heritage. Rand does have it better here as he was adopted at birth and developed a secure attachment to his adoptive parents vs Fitz who was taken in by a foster father at 6 and never truly felt like he was part of a family, but it is a theme for both of them.

-They were both foreseen as world changing figures and had an extensive volume of prophecy backing them. The Dragon Reborn and the Unexpected Son respectively.

-Their role was controversial among a powerful society of magic users (Clerres and the Aes Sedai,) with a particular powerful magic user dedicating their life to ensuring his success (Moiraine and Beloved) and those who had been corrupted by their selfishness and desire for power (the Four and their minions and the Black Ajah) worked hard to try and foil him.

-They both suffer from trauma and mental illness. Notably, they both go through periods where they deliberately isolate themselves and regularly struggle with suicidal ideation.

-They both take solace in a creative pursuit-Fitz in his writing, Rand in his music.

-They are both sought after for influence by those in power, both as leaders to follow in their own right and as a potential puppet.

-Rand is a quite literally the reincarnation of a very powerful person and this is explored a lot in the narrative, but it’s also implied at various times that Fitz may be as well (specifically Realder, with Beloved as the reincarnation of the female White Prophet he was Catalyst for.)

-Both Robert Jordan and Robin Hobb like to use them to explore the price of heroism as a theme. While they save the world every time, and ultimately make it a better place, it comes at massive personal cost.

-They both die in a way that allows them to live on. Rand gets a new body to go on anonymously and be at peace, Fitz goes into the Skill stream and another level of existence with his closest loved ones.

-They both struggle for control over their own life and are frustrated by how they are boxed in by their role. Though notably Beloved shares this in common with Rand even more than Fitz does, given that life as the White Prophet basically puts him on a predetermined path where his choices have to be about what’s best for the world vs what’s best for him.

[crimsoncrim]

If you had to assign a theme song to each of your characters, what songs would they be and why? We think about this a lot with our OCs, and we believe personally that Ace's theme might be Crazy = Genius by P!ATD. But that might just be bcuz we fangoy over that band!

On a side note, we'd like to know what bands you enjoy listening to? And which genres?

hihi! oc questions make me very happy and are always welcome <3 just for fair warning, I’m a little bad at assigning songs to characters but. I’ll try! I don’t really have a definitive single theme song(tm) for some characters so these are tentatively unofficial haha, but just for fun!

sol- mulled over different ones but the one that kept sticking out is ‘Hope for the Future’ by Bastille. very in line with their character themes and the kind of person they are.

lyra- this one was the hardest surprisingly. but ‘Passing Through’ by Kaden MacKay feels right. both the calm vibe of the song feels fitting as well as themes of making the most of their time and being with the people they love. kinda taking time to slow down in the moment of life being fast.

niko- think I’ve mentioned this one before, but I like ‘Get Used To It’ by Ricky Montgomery a lot for him. a lot of her backstory’s about trying to make things better than they were, both for themself and for others. so this one feels right.

june- the only one that wasn’t hard at all. ‘The Villain I Appear To Be’ by Connor Spiotto/Molly Pease. the most junecore song to ever song

hazel- ‘Synesthesia’ by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness for them. song gives me autumnal vibes for a reason I can’t describe, and the calm feel and the lyrics fit them and how much they love their partner Robyn and would do anything for them. <3

regan- haven’t shown them off here yet (soon), but to those who do know them :> ‘The Ruse & The Caper’ by Coyote Theory. they’re very close with their partner Ozu- they have a really strong connection with each other, and love each other for who they are. this song is very rezu to me

(rest under readmore because i worry this is getting too long otherwise)

———

as for ace- it is hard for me to assign One song to them bc they are such a complex chara along with the fact that I struggle at assigning songs anyways so I’ll try for a few (mostly based on lyrics). I would do multiple for all my charas if it didn’t mean that this post would be years long, so if you want more than one for my other charas feel free to msg me or ask :>

- ‘Kaibutsu’ (eng version) from Beastars! (linking this one bc there’s a few diff versions! I did a redraw of this album art with them actually :>)

- ‘Warmth’ by Bastille. this song is very ‘finding comfort in the people you love when the world around you is so overwhelming’ and that strikes me as the kind of person that ace would want to be for others.

- ‘Humpty Dumpty’ by AJR. fits with their struggling with hiding their problems from others because they don’t really have a good support system, and don’t want to burden or worry that others already have enough going on. they do end up confiding in the player- I think the player’s one of the people who they trust and care about the most.

- if I had to pick a P!ATD song for ace, I’d probably pick ‘Dying in LA’ myself. it feels very ‘ace while they’re in team meteor’ to me, where their desperation and loneliness gets taken advantage of and they’re recruited into this Unhealthy Bad situation that they clearly don’t agree with- but hey, it’s better than being alone like they were before, right?

———

as for me, my favorite band is bastille! as you might’ve been able to tell already, haha. although I’m also fond of AJR, fitz & the tantrums, coyote theory, ricky montgomery, imagine dragons, and p!atd :> in no order! as for genre, it’s hard to describe what single genre(s) I love since it tends to depend but I like stuff that Feels right to me. a lot of once off songs from someone I’ve never heard of just catch my attention immediately- sometimes that’s something meaningful and chill, other times higher energy, fun to sing along to. that kinda stuff!

thanks for the ask <3 I love talking about my beloveds. this was fun! please always feel free to send asks or say hi if you want! I’m (reasonably) active both here, twitter, and on discord :>

[madamescarlette]

Cross-posting my goodreads review of Assassin's Apprentice here because it's a book that deserves it + to get it off of my chest, but feel free to ignore it (as I am a less-than-eloquent reviewer but also because spoilers).

It’s been a long while since I read a book that is just as simply good as this one is. I’ve been winding my way through a string of books that have been at best enjoyable and at worst mediocre, which probably lends itself to the fierceness I feel towards this book right now, but it only burns brighter in my memory because of that.

I have a tendency towards books that knock you out and set you down on your feet, leaving you to stagger about glancing about yourself, knowing that your world is forever changed, but this one is…completely different from that. On one hand, it is solidly good, like wood or stone that cannot be argued with for being anything other than what it is, but on the other hand it grew on me almost without my knowing it, until I had cried over it three times when it struck my heart so keenly.

These, however, are not what this book is. There is a great deal I can say about it— for one, that its story was rich in a way that baffled me, for on paper it is composed of pieces that are as plain as they are true, used oft and widely in the realms of story. But they are played here, with such tact as well as grace, that allows them the breath of being people, always better and worse than we believe ourselves to be.

While this story has a simplicity to it that I admire most, in our days of constant twists and excitements, the story of an exiled prince’s illegitimate son who finds his way to be a true kingsman would not on its surface have such dearness and thoroughness as this does, but it remains that it does. The world that Hobb has created, which beats and turns with the same pieces so familiar— king, prince, fool, bastard, servants, and subjects— has a grace and warmth to it that I had not expected previously, and was blindsided by in a manner I am most grateful for.

While this is divided into parts (maybe even halves) that are dictated by Fitz’s differing periods of boyhood, I find myself becoming more and more grateful even for the first half, which was difficult for me to plunge into fully with the keenness of Fitz’s utter loneliness and the injustice of a paid price constantly drawn from him for the sin of his birth. It reminded me in many ways, as Thorn did last year, of my relationship with my own suffering— the aloneness of it, how it can strip one’s soul bare and forever tilt the world as you knew it, but that at the same time this was never done in a graphic or voyeuristic way. And while I am grateful for that mirror, I think in truth what I am most grateful for on the whole is what this world is.

This is a world where everything matters. It matters, who you serve. It matters who serves you. It matters what choices you make, what things you work towards and what you want most. It matters whether you are kind, or whether you are cruel. It matters when you watch or when you are heedless, whether you consider yourself above others or one of them, riding through the field with them at your side, and the story treats you as such. This story exemplified to me more clearly than ever what establishes kindliness and kingliness in a man such as few new stories still do, the long-held maxims of the inherent differences between those who treat their lots and their people as their stewards and they as a servant to it, or as things to possess and hoard whilst others fall on their swords to protect it for you.

And, while all in all that is theme that lifts this story up to what it is, I will also own that my favorite parts of it were not its deftly-made conclusion or its tightly-held glances of power, but the sparse but cathartic moments of compassion— when Fitz gains a mother in Lady Patience, when Smithy convinces him to stay alive when he has been utterly broken, when he sits by Verity and is called by his true name as his father’s son, when Burrich drags Galen out for him and even comes back when all else has been lost. Were it but for these, this would be a heavy tale, but it is saved by its simplicity and these kindnesses from being such. I am very glad for what it is, and for what it tells. In all honesty, I think it will be a long time before I read something as good, or just as much as what is again. But I’m grateful to have done so.

[ynscrazylife]

Hello once again. Could I please get a Daisy Johnson x Reader fic? Set sometime after the fall of SHIELD & Coulson has actually told the Avengers he's alive. The Avengers have called in SHIELD to help out on a mission where the reader meets Daisy. You can choose how that plays out. Reader is a super soldier that is mentored by Natasha & Clint who chooses to use a bow like the latter. Thanks

Yes! Thank you for requesting.

The Agent and the Avenger

Summary: Y/N, an Avenger, meets Daisy Johnson, a SHIELD Agent, when the Avengers need SHIELD’s help on a mission. What happens when Y/N and Daisy start to fall for each other?

“Bullseye,” Y/N said, smiling in satisfactory as her arrow hit the mark. She raised her bow and got into position and let go. “Bullseye . . . Bullseye . . . Andddd bullseye!” One after one, her arrows hit their target perfectly. 

“Is that your new theme song? The word ‘bullseye’ over and over again?” A voice from behind her teased. 

Y/N turned around and saw one of her mentors, Natasha, standing with her in the archery range and giving her a smirk. Y/N couldn’t help but smile as well. “It just might be,” she said, playing along with this little game. 

Natasha chuckled and walked over to her, peering at her target with all its arrows in it. It resembled a porcupine. “You might just be better than Clint,” the redhead observed.

“Hey!” Another voice interrupted, protesting. Y/N’s other mentor had joined the women. “None of that.” 

Natasha and Y/N laughed at the sour look on his face. 

“What are you two doing here?” Y/N asked, switching the topic and going to put her bow away. 

“Oh, right,” Natasha recalled, having momentarily forgotten why she and Clint came. “We’re gonna go on a mission, leaving tonight, and Coulson’s SHIELD team is gonna assist us.” 

Y/N raised her eyebrows in interest. “Is it a difficult one?” She asked. 

“Steve suspects it will be, yes, and it’ll be a big one. There’s a Hydra base far out storing some dangerous weapons. Some of it is also SHIELD technology, and it’s a large base,” Natasha clarified. 

Y/N nodded. “Who’s coming with us, exactly?” She asked.

“Coulson, May, Leo Fitz, Jemma Simmons, and Daisy Johnson. Coulson, May, and Daisy will be on the field with us, but Fitz and Jemma are going to stay with Bruce in the Quinjet,” Natasha answered. 

Y/N thought for a moment. She had met May and Coulson briefly because they were close to Natasha and Clint, but hadn’t met the other agents. 

“I’ll get ready, then,” she told both of her mentors, a smile on her face. 

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Hours later, the Avengers were settled in the Quinjet. They were just waiting on the SHIELD agents. Steve and Tony were at the pilots seat, Bruce was typing away at one of their computers, Thor was balancing Mjolnir on various objects, and Y/N sat in-between Natasha and Clint, the three of them talking on the couch. 

“Hello, hello, Mighty Avengers!” 

Y/N looked up from her conversation to see Coulson walking in with a smile on his face, May at his side, and leading the three other agents behind them. Immediately, all of the Avengers got up to meet them. 

Y/N followed Natasha and Clint and watched them greet May and Coulson warmly as Thor went over to speak to Steve and Tony. The two agents, Fitz and Simmons, Y/N guessed, quickly went off with Bruce which left Y/N looking around until her eyes fell on the only other person standing by herself.

Holyyyyy shit. 

She was gorgeous. One second Y/N was composed and a little nervous and the next she was . . . in awe. The woman standing in front of her must have put her under a love spell or something because Y/N felt her heart fluttering and butterflies flying around her stomach. 

“Hey! I’m Daisy Johnson, and you?” 

Oh Lordy lord. Even her voice was charming. Daisy held her hand out and Y/N swallowed a lump in her throat, shaking her hand. As soon as her hand touched Daisy’s, a new and bigger wave of nerves crashed into her. 

“I’m, uh, I’m Y/N . . . Y/N Y/LN,” Y/N introduced herself, stumbling over her words and smiling shyly at Daisy. 

Daisy grinned. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.” 

Just hearing her name come out of Daisy’s mouth made Y/N feel like she was going to pass out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After everyone was introduced, they took their seats. Y/N resumed sitting in-between Natasha and Clint, as May and Daisy sat across from them. During the ride, Natasha and May were deeply engaged in a conversation, while Clint and Daisy chatted occasionally. Y/N, however, was distracted the whole time, mostly by how pretty and charming Daisy was. 

“Okay, team! We’re landing, so listen up,” Steve said in a loud voice, catching everyone’s attention. “We’re gonna divide and conquer. Clint and Tony, Natasha and May, myself and Coulson, and Y/N and Daisy. Leopold and Jemma will stay with Bruce.” 

Everyone nodded, gravitating towards her partners, but Y/N froze. 

She was paired up with the woman she had a growing crush on? It was like Steve wanted her to blow the mission for them all (granted, he didn’t know she had a crush on her, but still).

“Hey, looks like we’re partners,” Daisy’s voice drew her from her thoughts. 

Y/N whipped around to look at her and nodded, biting her lip because she thought that if she spoke, she’d likely make a fool out of herself.

Minutes later, the teams were all set. They had landed and everyone moved out. As Daisy and Y/N had moved into their section of the base and were walking down one of the hallways, Daisy suddenly stopped in her tracks, hailing Y/N too.

“We need to get to the bottom of something,” Daisy said, and turned off her comms. 

Y/N stared at her, confused. Daisy motioned for her to turn off her comms too, which she did after a moment’s hesitation. 

“Who do you have a crush on?” Daisy asked. 

Y/N blinked. “What?” She asked in return, dumbfounded. 

Daisy cracked a smile. “You have a crush on someone! I can tell. It’s making you all nervous and stuff,” she insisted. 

“I don’t have a crush on anyone,” Y/N protested, but she betrayed herself when she blushed. 

Crap. 

Daisy picked up the pace again. “Well, it can’t be any of the Avengers, right? They’re too old for you . . . I haven’t seen you on your phone on the Quinjet so it can’t be someone else . . . you barely talked to Fitz or Simmons and Phil and May are too old for you so . . .” she trailed off and turned to Y/N, stopping again, as realization dawned on her. 

Fear suddenly struck Y/N. The mission was forgotten. “I don’t-” she started to say, but Daisy cut her off as she wore a confident, quirky smile. 

“For the record, I think you’re cute. Can I take you out on a date after the mission?” She asked casually, as if they weren’t on a very important mission and Y/N hadn’t just been outed for a crush. 

Y/N’s jaw dropped for a moment. Did Daisy really just say that? She struggled to compose herself, and couldn’t stop a goofy smile from wiggling its way onto her lips. She nodded. “I’d like that. Speaking of the mission, we should probably turn comms on and keep going,” she said, chuckling.

[frazelforever]

just gonna put it out into the void

Leo Fitz is a funky little bisexual who deserves the world

rant about my blorbo below

season 2 spoilers, (that’s where i’m currently at, though 2 years ago i got midway through season 3)

like !!!!! first of all he’s so obviously attracted to men and second, once jemma starts being weird and mean (dw she gets better), he just gets it, he knows skye is different, he knows he is different, and he knows that no one can change it back to the way it was, even if they were ‘fixed’ medically, fitz and skye still would have those experiences, and he takes no shit when jemma or anyone else calls skye’s kind monsters, or disrespects coulson because he knows that’s not why they are worth. he’s loyal to what he believes is right, that everyone deserves a chance and that he’s able to connect with them so beautifully

like there are so many queer themes all wrapped up in his character and it’s beautiful, and ugh! i love him. 

[cowboypossume]

At This Moment

so! this is inspired by this post by @theunmappedstar which means we need some credit baby !! so Bon Appetit

Summary: Fitz is a model, Keefe is his makeup artist, and after a big fight Keefe still has do his makeup because it’s too late to reschedule. 

Pairing: “platonic” keefitz 

Trigger Warnings: cursing, and let me know if there’s anything else

AO3 Link: here <3

Fitz had been a world famous model for years now. He could have gotten anybody to do his makeup, but he always insisted that Keefe did it. Keefe knew his work was good, sure, but he never understood why the world famous Fitz Vacker insisted that he did the the makeup for all of his shoots. Of course, Keefe would never turn down the chance to get Very Close to the model’s face and notice all of the little details on it. Like the splash of green hidden in the deep blue in his eyes, the tiny freckles right below his checks, the scar hidden on the boy’s hairline from acne, and Keefe’s favorite, the tiny smile that would appear when Fitz looked in the mirror when he finished the makeup look. Obviously he knew these things because it was his job to.

At this moment however, Keefe wished nothing more than the Fitz to not have assigned him to this shoot. He wished he didn’t have to stand in front of the door that he’d just closed and face the model he’d gotten into a huge fight with. Both of them were angry and said things they didn’t mean, which only fueled that anger. He wished that he didn’t have those few minutes alone to regret everything that he said. And now, his pride didn’t want to be alone with the model and apologize, although so much of him wanted to. He wished that he could just leave, but they couldn’t reschedule this shoot. They’d been planning this one for far too long and there were far too many other people involved. Besides, they’re both legally adults, so they can put aside their personal problems for a bit and just work, right?

“What the hell are you doing here?” Fitz angrily snapped.

Keefe gestured to the bag in his hands. “I have to do your makeup, remember?”

“Is there anyone else who can do it?”

“Look I don’t want to be here either but everyone who can is on set working and it’s too last minute for us to call in someone new. Besides, they already paid me.”

“Fine just do it quick.”

Keefe walked over to the dressing room mirror and started setting up. He’d done this before, a million times before, but at this moment it felt wrong. This didn’t feel like the warm environment the two of them normally created. They didn’t create the summer day kind of warm, though. The two of them seemed to share the kind of warm that resembles a hug from the person that you’ve hugged countless times before but gets better every time you’re together. Their warm environment felt comforting to the other with the stressful environment of a set. At this moment, there was no warmth or comfort. There was only the silence that filled the air between them with anticipation.

“Well, you know the drill.” Keefe said pulling out the final set of brushes. As Fitz sat in the chair, Keefe was reminded why he absolutely despised the model in front of him: he was the definition of the media’s version of perfect. He didn’t have bags, or acne, or anything that wasn’t good enough to go on a magazine cover. It made Keefe’s his job a hell of a lot easier, but it made Keefe despise him. How did someone manage look like royalty without any help? If Keefe was honest, the boy in front of him didn’t need anything to make him look like a movie star, but Fitz always wanted to cover up the freckles, so Keefe followed the request with concealer. Also, he needed to add some designs to fit the theme of this photoshoot, floral.

Wanting to avoid Fitz’s eye for as long as possible, Keefe started to sketch the outline carnations and gladioluses across his cheeks. As he gently held the model’s chin and cheek underneath his fingers, the stiffness of Fitz’s body reminded him of their first set. When they first met, it was one of Keefe’s first sets. He tried to break the silence with a joke, which lead to conversation. By the time Keefe finished the makeup, the two boys separated, finding themselves oddly excited for the next time they’d see each other. This moment, however, felt more irksome than that first meeting. Now the two of them were, well the two of them had grown up with each other. That first set they were both so young, and as they grew into themselves, the other person was there. They felt like they had a relationship, whether it was best friends, friends, or good colleagues, they trusted each other. They felt like they knew each other inside and out. Keefe got to see the man under the model, and Fitz got to see the makeup artist without the cover up.

Fitz slightly moved his head which lead to Keefe focusing on where the flowers sat on his face. Fitz had worked as a model long enough to move without messing up the makeup despite it still being a work in progress, and it still amazed Keefe every time. Keefe grabbed the paint that wouldn’t cause Fitz’s stupidly perfect face to break out and started to fill the carnations with a coffee cream white and the gladioluses with a shades of red and orange that would make a romantic movie’s sunset look dull in comparison.

Normally Keefe and Fitz would talk about nothing and everything during this time, but they weren’t. At this moment, Keefe was left alone with his thoughts which were just screaming ‘This Was Wrong’, and they weren’t lying. This wasn’t their normal, but Keefe didn’t know how to fix it. Could he? He wanted to. He wanted to fix the relationship with the only friend he had, but words typically failed him. He wasn’t good at words. He was charming with them, but he couldn’t say what he needed to. He couldn’t make his words serious, so relationships would normally fizzle out because of that.

Keefe’s negative thought spiral went to a screeching haunt when the nearly finished gladiolus in his hand was had a streak of a tear on it. A tear from crying? Wait it was a tear from crying. Why was Fitz crying?

“Wait, why the fuck are you crying?” The fear in Keefe’s voice made that question way more concerned than the angry tone he intended.

“This feels wrong.”

Keefe handed him a tissue. “Push this under your eyes and make the tears stop while we talk through this. Bloodshot eyes will ruin the photoshoot and you better not ruin the makeup. What feels wrong?”

“This” Fitz gestured between the two of them. “Us. Being mad with you feels wrong. Because I’m not mad at you. Or maybe I am? I just-. Right now my life is completely changing and not talking you just,,, feels wrong. Not just because it feels different, it,” Fitz paused to find a way to describe the way he felt. “Do you not feel it?”

Keefe walked over and kneeled next to Fitz and looked directly into the eyes that still looked amazing despite the fact they were full of tears but not yet covered with a layer of pink. He gently took the hand that Fitz wasn’t pressing away the tears with. “Of course I feel it, but now’s really not the time Fitzy. Come find me after the shoot, ok? I need to finish the flowers and start on the eyeliner and we only have 20 minutes until the other people need you.”

Fitz looked at himself in the mirror and the stupid tiny smile -that Keefe knew would ruin the lipstick Fitz would be wearing if this shoot needed it- appeared a little wider this time. 

“These are my favorite flowers.” He said, clearly wanting to touch all of them. There was a small gleam in his eyes that only showed up when he felt extremely happy. Keefe was the world famous Fitz Vacker’s makeup artist, it was his job to know the model’s face. They were friends, and Keefe didn’t need to ruin another friendship with something stupid.

So, Keefe grabbed a paintbrush as he said “I told you before Fitz, I have a really good memory, and I wouldn’t forget something about a friend.” He restarted the flowers and didn’t catch the disappointment in the model’s eyes at the lack of a nickname and the word ‘friend’.

[infinitestarsintheskye]

Ten of my favourite fictional women for women’s history month  

I was tagged by the ever lovely @valentinaonthemoon! Thanks so much lovely! :)

The following is in absolutely no particular order. 

1. Leslie Knope (Parks and Rec) 

A very passionate, very kind and amazing and hardworking but who is also flawed and can let her passion blind her to the truth sometimes, and her habit of digging her heels in can sometimes get her in sticky situations. I love her lots and lots and the level to which I relate to her is probably not good. I often say I am like the English Lit Leslie Knope with bonus anxiety. I love her lots. 

2. Skye/Daisy Johnson (Agents of Shield)

A badass queen who I love SO MUCH. Honestly her arc in AoS is just one of my favourites of all time. She is funny and passionate, but also headstrong and determined (sometimes to a fault). I love that she is not perfect, that she is flawed, and has been through so much and still chooses to be good. I love her lots.

3. Jemma Simmons (Agents of Shield) 

A wonderful science queen. She is just SO fundamentally good. Her curiosity and wonder for the world (and universe) is just so inspiring to me, but again her love and passion (esp for Fitz) can sometimes blind her to the reality of a situation but I still love that about her (it’s a very human trait to have). It has been an absolute privilage to watch her go from this very bright eyed, naive and curious young woman, to a passionate, badass, yet still so fundamentally kind and caring woman. Again, one of my favourite character arcs ever. I love her sososo much. 

4. Peggy Carter (Agent Carter and wider MCU) 

She is nothing like me and yet everything I aspire to be. What an absolute badass. She’s so intelligent and just such a role model to me. She stands for no shit and never sacrifices an OUNCE of her femininity to do it. Before coming across her I had never seen a character who was like that, who could retain this utter solidly badass personality and still keep this femininity, who liked having her hair done, who wore lipstick and skirts. I struggled so hard in my teenage years with reconciling, particularly femininity and intelligence, I wanted to be taken seriously but I never thought I would be if I was in a dress, and Peggy was the one who really changed that for me and I started embracing more traditionally feminine things. I just love everything about her, she has a temper, she lets her anger get the better of her sometimes, SHE IS NOT PERFECT (are you noticing a theme) and I just love her so much. 

4. Rose Tyler (Doctor Who) 

Again, a very formative character for me. She was working class, she was amazing and smart and sassy and most importantly for young me, SHE WAS BLONDE. I had grown up with the dumb blonde stereotype being put on me (despite never really being unintelligent) and hadn’t ever really seen a blonde character who didn’t slot, at least partially into that stereotype. She is fierce and firey and can give anyone exactly what’s coming to them. She is brave and wonderful, and so incredibly human. I love her lots and lots. 

5. Beatrice (Much Ado About Nothing) 

My snarky love. You all know how much I love Much Ado right?  Her “Oh god that I were a man” speech is just one of my favourite pieces of writing at all time. I could write multiple dissertations just about her, she is so endlessly fascinating to me in all of her iterations. A woman scorned and holy shit she’s gonna let you hear about it. One half of the best (SUSPECTED) lovers to enemies to lovers. She’s so INCREDIBLY witty and sharp and she’s just so BITTER about whatever the hell it is that Benedick did to her and ugh I just love her so much. 

6. The Thirteenth Doctor (Doctor Who)

I cried at every single episode in her first season because I was so happy and so overwhelmed that The Doctor was FINALLY a woman. She is intelligent and quirky and just wonderful, whilst still retaining that really deep seated anger and kind of fury that The Doctor holds within them self. asdfghjkl I love her so much. 

7. Anne Eliot (Persuasion)

My soft, quiet, pining queen. Wants snuggles but only gets struggles. Pines for nearly a decade for the same guy (a full mood) and MARRIED HIM IN THE END BC HE ALSO PINED FOR HER FOR A DECADE!!! Underappreciated by her family who are arseholes and deserves so much better than them and Jane Austen gave it to her and we cannot help but stan for that. I love her so very much. 

8. Darrell Rivers (Mallory Towers) 

Doesn’t have a gif :(

Mallory Towers by Enid Blyton was my favourite book series growing up. I have read it more times than I can actually count. My copies are the most loved books in my collection. Darrell was the first character I ever remember relating to. There’s a passage in the first book where she sits down with her teacher bc her marks aren’t very good and they talk about how some people, like her friend Alicia, can muck about in class and be silly and still get good marks, but other people, like Darrell, need to focus and concentrate in order to do well, and that HIT HOME with 7 year old me. She has an awful temper and says things in spite and anger that are really quite awful, but always feels bad afterwards and really is just a good egg. I love her lots. 

9. Sibyl Crawley/Branson (Downton Abbey)

An all time fav. An absolute SWEETHEART but will absolutely tear you a new one if need be. It’s been almost ten years and I am still absolutely DEVASTATED by her death, we were absolutely robbed of seeing her as a mother, she would have been absolutely incredible. Part of one of my favourite romantic plotlines of all time, they shoudl have had their own show, Julien Fellowes fight me. I have so many feelings about Sibyl I could not possibly do them justice in just one small paragraph. I love her SO MUCH. 

10. Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice)

A sassy queen who is stubborn and benefits immensely from admitting that she was wrong. One of my favourite characters of all time, Jane Austen knew how to write characters SO INCREDIBLY WELL!! I think we have all met someone like Elizabeth Bennet in our lives. Declares she will never marry for anything but love (we love to see it) even if it means she will either be a spinster or destitute (probably both). I love her so much. 

I will tag (if they would like): @besidemethewholedamntime @springmagpies and @acetoshikosato​

[thestanceyg]

Darcyland Drabble Race the Second

So here’s my contribution to another drabble race. Again under the cut because there’s a LOT.

Quantum 1 “Oh my god,” Jane said, flopping down on to the couch next to her. “I had forgotten this show was even a thing.”

“It’s my stay home from school sick comfort show,” Darcy said as she pulled her blanket tighter around her. The chills she was experiencing were no joke.

“Man, I wonder how the creators of Quantum Leap feel now? Like…that tech kinda actually exists, even if it’s classified.”

“I don’t think they know about it Jane,” Darcy said with a fond roll of her eyes. “You know, on account of it being classified and all.”

2 “The fuck does this word mean?” her dumbass lab partner asked.

“Which word?” she asked with a put upon sigh.

“Quantum,” he said, pointing to literally the first question.

“Thor wept,” she muttered under her breath before turning to him more fully. “Here,” she said, pointing back to the textbook. “Definition’s right here. I’ll even read it to you. A discrete quantity of energy proportional in magnitude to the frequency of the radiation it represents.”

“No need to be a bitch about it.”

She idly wondered if killing him was a possibility. “Sure sure,” she said, sugary sweet. “Since I’m such a bitch, don’t worry about me helping again.”

3 “I don’t think the quantum physics work that way,” Fitz said with a tilt of his head as he looked at the projection.

“I mean, I didn’t either,” Darcy agreed, joining him, “but I also don’t doubt our modeling software. Something’s happening here that’s unexpected, and that means either we have something wrong, or there’s something we have yet to figure out that’s acting on everything.”

“You know what that means?” he said with a smile.

“More research dates,” she said before kissing the tip of his nose.

“Can’t wait,” he said before claiming her lips.

4 “Quantum Laser Tag is the best!” she yelled, highly offended. “I can’t believe you just besmirched it’s good name!”

“Err, all I said was that laser tag was kinda lame.”

“It is not!” she practically whined. “Okay, dude, maybe you’ve not had good laser tag experiences, but I have to say that does not mean you get to shit on literally the greatest arena in at least the tristate area.”

“You’re…really passionate about this,” he said giving her a look she couldn’t decipher.

“So is this your way of bowing out of our first date?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Hell no,” he said, smiling.

5 “I’m just saying, that the names at this bar are not scientifically accurate,” she complained. 

“Jane. Literally none of us give a shit. We are here to get shitfaced and giggle over our jobs being somehow alcohol themed,” Darcy reprimanded her. 

“I’m definitely having a Quantum Blast,” Helen said, sidling up to the bar.

“Really?” Darcy said giving her a disgusted look. “I mean…there’s something about adding the word ‘blast’ to it that turns me off from it.”

“Fair,” Helen agreed. “But it has triple sec in it and I’m in the mood.”

Darcy tilted her head in acknowledgment of the wisdom.

6 “I promise to never play with the quantum field again if we can just get out of this alive,” Darcy said more to herself than anyone else.

“What?” Scott asked.

“Just promising myself to try and stick to my field in the future should I survive whatever this is.” She gestured to the everything around them that really defied understanding.

Scott nodded. “I wish I could make a similar vow, but it’s kinda my field now. Though this,” he looked around a bit, “is indeed disconcerting. I could, err, try to make it up to you when we get out of here.”

“Are you asking me on a date?”

“Yes?”

7 “Nope. Not happening. I will not be teaching quantum physics as my teaching assignment next semester. It’s not my field. I would have to do my own research just to feel like I was giving the students an adequate course,” she said as soon as the department head had offered her the schedule.

“Well you don’t have a lot of options here. You’re still a candidate and not a post doc so you don’t get to argue with me really.”

“This is some serious bullshit,” Darcy groaned. “But seriously, Johnson would be way better at this. He even has done research in this field.”

“Yes well…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Darcy groaned. “You’re doing him a favor and I’m the one that has to deal with the consequences?”

Nebula 1 “And if you look here,” the professor droned on as he used his laser pointer, “you can see a nebula that is starting to die.”

“Kinda like me in this class,” she muttered under her breath. The guy next to her laughed, but covered it with a cough. She looked at him and winked, and he honest to Thor blushed. Well damn if that wasn’t the cutest thing that she’d ever seen.

She grabbed a scrap of paper and wrote her name on it and slid it over to him.

He read it and smiled a bit and wrote back.

Fitz. Nice name. She couldn’t wait to be screaming it later.

2 Nebula was very murderous and Darcy kinda loved her for it. It seemed like there was a lot of deep seated anger that the woman was ready and willing to take out on anyone and everyone. You had to love her unapologetic rage. Darcy couldn’t help but admire how she didn’t give a shit if someone thought it made her less attractive because anyone dumb enough to voice that sentiment would probably end up with a knife in them. Was it wrong that she was a little turned on?

That thought made her come up short.

Shit. She didn’t have time for a crush.

3 The fabric technically had nebulas all over it, though the fabric name had the word galaxy. In the grand scheme of things it really didn’t matter, but it annoyed her for some reason. It seemed that all sorts of little things were bothering her lately, and she couldn’t find the reason. Why should she care that she had “galaxy fabric” that was actually nebula fabric? She would make the damn pillow covers and then she could tell her friends it was nebula print. Giving up caffeine had been a bad idea. It made her crabby. She should probably reconsider her idea to stop drinking coffee.

4 Nebula Swirl was possibly the best flavor of ice cream she had ever eaten, and it was looking like she would only be able to eat it for one more month if something drastic didn’t happen. She took her cone and snapped a picture and posted it to Instagram with the tag SaveGalacticCones. Maybe someone would see it and drop some cash their way. It wasn’t their fault that the freak storm had damaged the property and left them paying off heavy repair bills. They deserved to thrive, if for no other reason than it was the ice cream of her youth and she had so little to remember her childhood by.

5 “I don’t research in the Horseshoe Nebula,” she said with a frustrated sigh. “In fact, I don’t even look within a million light years of there. So please explain to me in very small words why you think your project should get any of my grant money.”

“Because I need to fund my research Dr. Witherow said. “It’s as simple as that. I need more funding and you just won a lot of money. There’s no way you’ll need all of it, so umbrella my study under your project and we’ll both win.”

“No, dude, we won’t ‘both win.’ That grant is actually just one of three for my project because it doesn’t cover everything.” Thor save her from entitled scientists.

6 “It looks kind a like a nebula” Jane said as she looked at the giant bruise on Darcy’s hip.

“I guess that’s fitting because the pain is out of this world,” Darcy tried to joke. It didn’t quite come off as carefree as she had hoped, but that was possibly because she was an hour out from her next pain pill and the current one seemed to have mostly worn off.

“Darce,” Jane said with a bit of warning in her voice. “You’re going to let me coddle you because that’s what I need. I think you do too.”

Darcy sighed. “I know.”

7 A burst of nebula like light flashed before her eyes as the hit landed.

She didn’t pass out, but it was a near thing.

“You will do what we want, Dr. Lewis!” the man spit at her.

“No. I won’t,” she argued. “And you hit like a little kid.”

The man’s face turned a red she didn’t realize was possible before he backhanded her, hitting the already blooming bruise from the earlier punch. “I think you will change your mind.”

“I’d rather die.”

“That can be arranged,” he sneered.

“I doubt it,” she countered. “You need me too much. And if you keep hitting my head, it’ll be that much longer before I’m even capable of doing what you ask.”

Vortex 1 Of course it was a solar vortex. Or, at least that’s what she was calling this abomination in her mind. She wasn’t sure what else to call what appeared to be a tornado of sunlight that was leaving a path of fire and destruction behind it. Why couldn’t normal things happen to her?

She would have to blame Jane. Shit like this never happened to her before New Mexico.

Of course, it could also be that this kind of madness would still happen to her even if she had never been an intern, but blaming Jane felt familiar. That woman definitely owed her ice cream for changing her life like this.

2 “It’s not a vortex” Dr. Strange said, the pinched look on his face clearly telling him what he thought of Darcy and her inability to call it whatever name he had given his portal thingy. She knew it wasn’t a vortex. It was just fun to razz him and see him get annoyed.

He was kinda cute when he was annoyed.

Well, he was kinda cute regardless, but his cuteness was focused on her whenever he was annoyed because 99% of the time it was her fault.

It wasn’t healthy, but it was working so she’d deal with the mental health implications later.

3 “I promise you that’s not a tornado,” she said to her storm chasing boyfriend. “I know it looks like one, but, very unfortunately for the entire town of Lawton, it’s actually an anomaly called a temporal vortex.”

“What does that mean, Darcy?” he yelled over the roar of the storm.

“It means that if we don’t get out of the path of that thing we’ll end up in an alternate reality that may or may not include a breathable atmosphere.”

“Right,” he said, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. “I’d like to live to have another date so one storm evasion coming up.”

4 “It’s called The Vortex,” Helen said reverently as she placed what Darcy thought was a fishbowl on the table. It had six straws sticking out of it.

“Why?” Pepper asked, looking at the drink cautiously.

Helen shrugged. “Does it matter? What matters is it tastes like sunshine and amaretto and goes down easy and will get you shitfaced if that’s what you want.”

Jane grabbed a straw and took a long slurp. “I need to get shitfaced and Helen isn’t wrong. I don’t care what’s in the Vortex. It can be made of baby souls and I will keep drinking it. It’s a fucking delight in my mouth.”

5 “I am sick of the Polar Vortex and it’s technically only been here for three hours,” Darcy said as she cuddled more into the blankets and tried to burrow even further into the warmth of her boyfriend.

“I’m not exactly excited about it either,” he agreed, “but at least it means we have guaranteed time together. That’s been a rare occurrence lately.”

Darcy nodded and debated it it was worth getting her arm out of the blanket to grab her hot chocolate.

“Darce?” he asked.

She turned to look at him. His eyes were soft. “I love you.”

Her breath stopped. He hadn’t said that before. Maybe the Polar Vortex wasn’t that bad.

6 “Sedona is weird,” Spencer said with a frown.

“Are you talking about the vortices?” she asked.

“I am,” he said, studying the map they had been given at the little tourism station. “I just. I can’t believe people believe in this stuff.”

“Ehh,” she said. “There’s a lot of shit I wouldn’t have believed in before it happened to me. You know, like Asgardians and such.”

“Maybe,” he agreed with pursed lips.

She pointed to a spot on the map. “Look, that one’s on a trail. We said we were going to do some hiking, so we’ll go there and treat it scientifically.”

He perked up just like she knew he would. “Sounds like a plan,” he said with a kiss to her cheek.

7 “I am a vortex of emotion,” she said before throwing herself on the couch.

Pepper handed her a glass of white wine. “What happened today?”

“He’s just so cute,” she practically whined. “And he has no idea that literally every time I’m talking to him I’m trying to flirt. I swear I used to be good at it.”

“Perhaps Bruce is ignoring it?”

Darcy shook her head. “I don’t think so, but I also hate that idea. Please don’t ever say that again. How can I live if he doesn’t like me back?”

“Do I just attract drama queens, or is there something special about you and Tony?”

Darcy gasped. “How dare you think I’m not special. You take that back!”

Supernova 1 “Why are you listening to Oasis on repeat?” Jane asked as she walked into Darcy’s apartment.

“Not Oasis,” Helen corrected, “Champagne Supernova.”

“Oh, Darcy. No hon.” Jane threw her purse on a chair and went to the kitchen and started going through the freezer. “Okay, here’s the plan,” she said as she came back into the living room. “I am going to make us some very alcoholic fruit slushies, you are going to move on from Oasis to some 90s Alanis, and then you are going to tell us what happened.”

Jane disappeared back into the kitchen and Helen looked at Darcy.

“And then we plot revenge,” she added.

2 “I promise you there was never a Gusher flavor called Supernova Blast. That wasn’t a thing. You need to stop trying to convince me it was. I might be dumb, but I am not that gullible.”

“Aww, babe! Who said you were dumb! I’ll be happy to knock some sense into them.

“Darce, that’s not the point,” Peter said with a whine. “The point is you cannot make me believe it.”

Darcy turned her laptop to show him the Google Image search with Supernova Blast gushers.

“Your reality is so flippin’ weird,” he said as he stared at the screen.

3 “It’s, like, more than a nova. It’s a SUPER nova.”

Darcy just stared at the man in front of her. This was the last time she allowed Clint to set her up on a blind date.

“Riiight,” she said. “Ummm, I’m sorry, but I need to go to the bathroom. Be right back,” she said as she grabbed her purse and praised the heavens that she hadn’t brought a coat too.

She grabbed a waitress as soon as she was out of his line of sight. “Hi, I need to escape a bad date and I will pay you $40 to let me out a back door.”

The waitress grabbed the money. “Done.”

4 “And next up is Supernova!” the announcer roared. Darce waved to the crowd as her name was called. She hadn’t expected to love roller derby as much as she did, but it truly was a life saver. The team was amazing, it allowed for stress relief, and it was something that was just hers. No being in Jane’s academic shadow. No being in her brother’s professional musician shadow. No shadows. Just Darcy.

As they set up for the first jam she looked up to the crowd and saw some signs with her name on them. She had never felt more alive.

5 “Excuse me?” the man at the counter said, “Are you really telling me that you’ve never heard of the Supernovas?”

Darcy gritted her teeth. “Honestly, dude, it doesn’t matter if I have or not. What I asked was whether or not you had any Aquabats.”

“But I can’t let you listen to that when you could be listening to the Supernovas.”

“I think you are missing what exactly your role is here. I came here looking specifically for a present for my brother, and I came to you to help me with it. In exchange, you should be telling me whether or not you have it, not making me want to leave because you won’t stop forcing your terrible bands on me.”

He stared at her in annoyance.

6 She imagined that this was what it must feel like at the center of a supernova. She had never felt so warm and alive and bursting. His simple confession wasn’t something she had ever expected, but it knocked the ice off her heart and had made her realize that she loved him too. She loved him in a consuming way that she hoped would eventually burn down to warm contentment and not eat them alive, but she couldn’t deny that his love had changed her and she could never go back to not knowing how this felt.

7 “You can’t use the supernova attack in this setting!” Steve said.

“I don't’ see why,” Darcy argued. “What’s stopping me?”

“Because that’s not how it’s supposed to be used.”

Darcy made a tsking noise at him. “Stevey, you can’t say that you want to follow the spirit of things here. You knew I was the type of person to always argue I was technically inside of the rules to do crazy shit when you asked me to join your game. So you either let me cast this or you kill me so I can go play with people that enjoy my unorthodox approach.”

“Fine,” he sighed. “Roll please.”

[myheartisafish]

2021 january reads roundup

it’s a new month! and a perfect time to ✨reflect✨on the month’s reads! this january, i finished 5 books:

1. Assassin’s Apprentice by Robin Hobb

2. A Skinful of Shadows by Frances Hardinge

3. Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata

4. Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie (reread) 

5. Battle Royale by Koushun Takami 

thoughts below the cut~

Assassin’s Apprentice:

This read was definitely a surprise for me- I love buying 80s and 90s fantasy paperbacks from the used bookstore and I usually don’t expect very much from them. It’s definitely a childhood book that’s setting up a huge fantasy series, which is why some people find it slow- I would go into it expecting a lot of focus on the inner world of the main character, and not a lot of focus on action-packed plotting. For me, it ended up being surprisingly emotional, and had profound themes of grief and loss. The character building of the two main characters, Fitz and his mentor-figure Burrich, was so, so impressive, as well as the character building for Fitz’s dead father, Chivalry, who is never onscreen yet still affects every plot beat of the book. Give this book a try if you like atmospheric, introspective, character focused fantasy. 

A Skinful of Shadows

I read this book because two of my friends are big fans of the author and I don’t like to be left out of things. I did enjoy it, though! The historical setting of the 1640s English Civil War is perfectly chosen and expressed, and is married so perfectly with the themes of the book that it doesn’t seem like it could take place at any other historical moment. The supernatural element of the plot is a perfect lens for discussing questions of power, control, belief, selfhood, and the afterlife. Do you believe in Puritan ideology? Do you believe in the power of the king? Or do you just believe in your own superiority? Read this if you like atmospheric, dark fantasy, ghosts, unlikeable characters, and bears. 

Convenience Store Woman

This was a different choice for me as I don’t usually stray very far out of the genre fiction world, but I’m trying to broaden my horizons. I’m also currently interested in reading translated works, so this was a good start! This book was short and sweet and absolutely dead on in its portrayal of the rigidity of society and the way that other people are hostile to people that don’t fit in to their preestablished narratives about what a person should be. Read this if you’re frustrated with the assumptions people make about you and your life based on absolutely nothing. 

Ancillary Justice (reread)

This was my fourth read of Ancillary Justice. It’s my favorite sci-fi trilogy and the urge to reread comes around about once a year in my mind. (It all goes around, the planet goes around the sun). This read I was fascinated by the way the book presents choice. We all believe that we would make the right choice in any given situation, and we judge others freely based on our assumption that we would have done better in their place. But it’s not that simple, and it’s not that simple to know in the moment when your choice will make a difference, and when it won’t. The main character Breq is tormented by her past- she initially believes that as an A.I. there were turning points in which she had no choice in her actions, but she begins to realize she may have been more complicit than she originally believed. She resolves to make things right- but is it possible to know when her actions will make a difference? Which gambles will lead her closer to her goal, and which ones could end her journey, and her life? Read this book (and reread it, and reread it) if you love character-focused sci fi with complex worldbuilding, stories about spaceships with feelings, and portrayals of evil empires from within the evil empire. 

Battle Royale

Continued my trend of translated fiction with this one! I watched the movie a few years ago and enjoyed it a lot, and since then have been courting this book every time I see it in the bookstore. Overall I’d say I had a lot of fun reading it, as a gory, fast-paced thriller. I did get a little tired of it by the end, and there was a lot of description of guns, baseball, and other sort of boring stuff that I hardcore skimmed. My biggest gripe with the book was the overall infantilizing treatment of female characters by the narration- how dare this game force a sweet, innocent girl to kill? How dare this game ruin a beautiful girl’s beautiful face! Mitsuko Souma’s backstory was also both out of left field in how over-the-top horrific it was and completely unnecessary. Of course, people who were abused become murderous sociopaths. Of course, a female character can’t just have one bad thing happen to her, it has to be violence on top of violence for the entirety of her miserable life until she dies. 

Re: The Hunger Games, after reading this book I don’t think THG was actually copping Battle Royale at all. THG is a dystopia that’s focused on the dystopia- the corruption of the rich, the element of the media in both keeping people happy and twisting their worldview, the ways in which people fall through the cracks. Battle Royale is focused more on the inner world of the characters- it wants to know what could actually drive a child to kill someone. What level of fear, what level of danger, when does someone actually snap? The author said he was inspired by Stephen King’s The Long Walk, which tracks- The Long Walk is about the limit of a human mind and body in a similar way. In what conditions could someone decide to push their body past the limit of horror? Read Battle Royale if you have a stomach for gore and like fast paced thrillers, video game plots, and seeing innocent children get mown down by a sociopath with a machine gun.

And that’s all! See you next month? And try not get kidnapped and put on an island where you are forced to kill your classmates. 

[ofpaperhearts]

▷  currently  playing  ——  THE FAÇADE  a playlist for Elliot King. n. a false appearance that makes someone or something seem more pleasant or better than they really are.

!! anxiety & depression tw throughout playlist !!

obnoxiously long tracklist & descriptions that may or may not make sense under the cut!

▷  currently  playing  ——  TWO  by  SLEEPING AT LAST.

it’s okay if you can’t catch your breath // you can take the oxygen straight out of my own chest // i know exactly how the rule goes: // put my mask on first // no, i don’t want to talk about myself // tell me where it hurts // i just want to build you up, build you up // ‘til you’re good as new // and maybe one day i’ll get around to fixing myself too

Okay, so there’s not a doubt in my mind that Elliot’s an enneagram type two, which is what this song is all about. The entire song really captures how he wants to take care of others and give his love to them, and then if there happens to be anything left, he’ll take care of himself, but it’s not a priority.

▷  currently  playing  ——  BEAUTIFUL LIGHT  by  UPPERMOST.

I don’t fully know how to describe it, but this song just makes me feel upbeat and hopeful and I feel like those are the types of vibes that Elliot tries to put out into the world. This is a song that works very well for him when simply looking at him on the surface level.

▷  currently  playing  ——  I JUST WANNA SHINE  by  THE FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS.

so don’t give me dark days, i already had those // i’m just trying to figure out how to be myself right now // i don’t wanna lay low, hiding in the shadows // so i wake up, i get out of bed // stay up, stay out of my head

This song is probably more how Elliot perceives himself. Like despite having his own stresses and hardships, he still strives to make the most of his life and keep up and optimistic view.

▷  currently  playing  ——  MESS IS MINE  by  VANCE JOY.

bring me to your house // tell me, “sorry for the mess”, hey i don’t mind // you’re talking in your sleep, out of time // well, you still make sense to me, your mess is mine

This song just goes back to how he wants to give an receive love by taking care of others.

▷  currently  playing  ——  PLEASER  by  WALLOWS.

indecisive feelings of enjoyment // hold the thought, i think i need a moment // i’m aware there’s somethin’ i should tell you // but my voice annoys me // bite my tongue off with a smile // i can’t feel it anymore // ‘cause recently the line is blurred // between depression and bliss

This whole song is basically about being a people pleaser (which Elliot is to an unhealthy degree) and struggling to figure out to please someone (which is something that would cause Elliot a great deal of distress to be perfectly honest).

▷  currently  playing  ——  OH KLAHOMA  by  JACK STAUBER.

tears falling down at the party // saddest little baby in the room // fears, tell me fears, don’t get me started // i get a little grey hair for every scare you share

Honestly, Elliot could be either person in this song. For the most part Elliot would see himself as the person in this song that’s trying to console the other (possibly at the expense of their own mental health), but he could just as easily be the other person if he actually asked for help/comfort whenever he’s going through something.

▷  currently  playing  ——  HARD TIMES  by  PARAMORE.

all that i want // is to wake up fine // tell me that i’m alright // that i ain’t gonna die

Upbeat songs with sad lyrics just have an Elliot vibe to them. I think songs like this reflect that happy/put together front he puts on for everyone, even when he isn’t doing so great.

▷  currently  playing  ——  FAKE HAPPY  by  PARAMORE.

hey, if i smile with my teeth // bet you believe me // if i smile with my teeth // i think i believe me // oh please, don’t ask me how i’ve been // don’t make me pretend

Same reason Hard Times is on here. The lyrics definitely hammer the part of putting up a front for others home more.

▷  currently  playing  ——  WAY LESS SAD  by  AJR.

i’m a-okay, i’m a-okay // you say it but you just don’t mean it

I think the mix of putting up a front and trying to remain optimistic even in life’s harder moments just fits Elliot.

▷  currently  playing  ——  WONDERFUL LIFE  by  SMITH & BURROWS.

you know it feels unfair // there’s magic everywhere // look at me standing // here on my own again // up straight in the sunshine // no need to run and hide // it’s a wonderful, wonderful life // no need to laugh and cry // it’s a wonderful, wonderful life

There’s something about the softness of this song that just gives me Elliot vibes. But I think beyond that, it’s the mix of optimistic and pained lyrics that make me think of Elliot whenever I hear this song.

▷  currently  playing  ——  BLUE KNUCKLE  by  NIGHT BEDS.

i’ve been working like a surgeon // on some courage // lift my burden // i’ve been hurting // have you heard it

I just feel like the bits of this song that I relate to him scream, all the self-sacrificing I constantly do doesn’t make me as happy as I thought it would, but I’m not entirely sure how to change that without some help.

▷  currently  playing  ——  FREAKIN’ OUT ON THE INTERSTATE  by  BRISTON MARONEY.

i’m sorry i haven’t been myself // and something’s got me down // what it is, i cannot tell

1. He’s so concerned with others that I don’t think he necessarily knows how to pinpoint why something would bother him. 2. High anxiety hours.

▷  currently  playing  ——  FALSE CONFIDENCE  by  NOAH KAHAN.

and i wonder why i tear myself down to be built back up again // oh, i hope somehow, i’ll wake up young again // all that’s left of myself, holes in my false confidence

Themes of being hypercritical of oneself and insecurity which is something Elliot struggles a lot with under his surface level happiness.

▷  currently  playing  ——  COLD LOVE  by  RAINBOW KITTEN SURPRISE.

and if i cry in your arms // just some other shit, just some other shit // just some other things that i’ve been dealing with // i’d die in your arms, bury me while playing this // bury me saying “you were all i ever needed” // and hold me like we’re dying from liquor that we drank // in hotel rooms, to feel warm in cold love

Originally, I only wanted to include this song for the first part of the lyrics I put here because it’s the same dismissive attitude Elliot has when it comes to taking care of himself. But the more I thought about it, I think Elliot is the type of person to find himself in doomed relationships because the give and take is never equal resulting in ‘dying/cold’ loves.

▷  currently  playing  ——  ALMOST HOME  by  MXMTOON.

i was just a kid // dreams were looking big and then i had to grow up // no one ever says // all the love you give might not be enough // broke my heart in two a couple times // before it hurt too much // i was such fool

I feel like Elliot was a relatively carefree child before becoming increasingly more and more concerned with how others saw him and feel like that’s kind of reflected in this song? Like growing is usually very different from how one imagines it when they’re a kid.

▷  currently  playing  ——  MELODY X  by  BONAPARTE.

you keep the light on // you keep the light on // you keep the night light on // hold your broken dream up high // oh, you know you try // oh, you know you try // it’s the worst case scenario lullaby // something’s gotta change (something’s gotta change)

Another song acknowledging how hecking hard life is and trying to remain hopeful in spite of it with a hint of being aware that something needs to change in Elliot’s life for him to really be happy.

▷  currently  playing  ——  NO ID  by  ANDREW APPLEPIE.

and suddenly you realize // that everything you’d ever told yourself were lies // and believe me i can sympathize // cause everything i ever thought i was made me cry

Overall, this song is about self-acceptance and growth, which is something Elliot is still working on. And it’s more so on here as Elliot being the person the singer is watching struggle with these things.

▷  currently  playing  ——  PRETENDER - ACOUSTIC  by  AJR.

i’m a good pretender // won’t you come see my show? // i got lots of problems // well, good thing nobody knows // oh, i’m insecure, i’m insecure // i think i like what i’m supposed to // like what i’m supposed to

Back on that putting up a front for everyone else because he thinks that’s for the better/expected of him bs!

▷  currently  playing  ——  BRAIN, BRAIN, GO AWAY  by  UNLIKE PLUTO.

through the night my mind is racing // my inner voice and i debating // on everything i should be changing // can’t decide so i keep maintaining // i gotta contain my overactive mind

This song is on here because big anxiety hours and how truly exhausting it is to deal with.

▷  currently  playing  ——  MIND IS A PRISON  by  ALEC BENJAMIN.

sometimes, i think too much, yeah, i get so caught up // i’m always stuck in my head // i wish i could escape, i tried to yesterday alone with my thoughts again // guess my mind is a prison and i’m never gonna get out

Same exact reason why Brain, Brain, Go Away is on his playlist.

▷  currently  playing  ——  NUMB  by  MARINA.

i can’t open up and cry //  ‘cause i’ve been silent all my life // i feel numb most of the time // lower i get, higher // i’ll climb, and i will wonder why // i got dark only to // shine, looking for the golden light // oh, it’s a reasonable sacrifice

One of the main reasons this song is included is because of a comment made on the lyric ‘oh, it’s a reasonable sacrifice’ and how in this song it seems to imply sacrificing one’s well-being to impress others is fine and if that’s not Elliot’s biggest mood than I don’t know what is. But in addition to that, a lot of the other lyrics touch on internal struggles he deals with and trying to overcome them.

▷  currently  playing  ——  NOBODY  by  MITSKI.

and i don’t want your pity // i just want somebody near me // guess i’m a coward // i just want to feel alright // and i know no one will save me

1. This is the type of song that sounds like “ooooo fun” but then you listen to the lyrics and it’s like “BOOM SADNESS” which is kind of Elliot’s song aesthetic if that makes sense? 2. Despite having people in his life that he’s close to, life can still feel very isolating when he’s not open about everything he has going on. 3. This song is an enneagram type two’s biggest fear so it just makes sense being here.

▷  currently  playing  ——  IT’S CALLED: FREEFALL  by  RAINBOW KITTEN SURPRISE.

called to the devil and the devil said, “hey! why you been calling so late? it’s like 2am and the bars all close at 10 in hell, that’s a rule i made” // anyway, you say you’re too busy saving everybody else to save yourself // and you don’t want no help, oh well

More on the idea that life can be very isolating when you struggle in silence and Elliot’s “gotta help everyone else over myself” mentality.

▷  currently  playing  ——  MINDLESS BLISS  by  UNLIKE PLUTO.

always staying up to the sunrise // i can barely close my eyes // all i’m looking for is a good night // just for one night, just for one night // but i am wide awake, surviving day to day // i’m half alive in my own way // and i’m struggling with all the carrying

More big themes of anxiety and struggling with it.

▷  currently  playing  ——  WAVES  by  DEAN LEWIS.

and it takes control of the person that i thought i was // the boy i used to know // but there is a light in the dark // and i feel it’s warmth // in my heart, in my hands // but why can’t i hold on?

Life’s always changing for better or worse and growing up you can think life is going to be one way just for it to be something completely different and I think Elliot can relate to that sentiment a lot.

▷  currently  playing  ——  KEEP  by  MOTHER MOTHER.

i write it down, but to read it doesn’t work // take it to town, but to be seen doesn’t work // smack it around, but that only make it worse // i make it worse // i meditate for a day, but it doesn’t help // get down and pray, i gotta say, what a living hell // i could escape but i know that all too well // it doesn’t help

Wanting to cope with things, but struggling to do so in a way that works which is a big Elliot mood.

▷  currently  playing  ——  DON’T WORRY, YOU WILL  by  LOVELYTHEBAND.

trying to stay positive // not an easy way to live // laugh right through the pain // she said i can’t find a thing i don’t like about you // and i’m like don’t worry, you will

More themes of being hypercritical of oneself, silently struggling, and putting up a charade to get others to like you or to please them.

▷  currently  playing  ——  GOODBYE  by  BO BURNHAM.

am i right back where i started fourteen years ago? // wanna guess the ending? if it ever does // i swear to god that all i’ve ever wanted was // a little bit of everything all of the time well, well, look who’s inside again // went out to look for a reason to hide again // well, well, buddy, you found it

Full disclosure, I only know this song from TikTok. But anyway! I just felt like the lyrics in the last bit of the song were super fitting: the fear of being back right back where he started before he got a little better at putting himself first, struggling to balance everything he wants/needs, dismissing his problems in favor or something lighthearted like a joke, looking for reasons to keep things to himself, etc.

[luamaya]

Songs I Like

People Ii: The Reckoning- AJJ

Sleepwalking- The Wild Life

Honeydew- Small Talks

Graceless- The National

Humans- Big Thief 

Sleepy Tigers- Her Space Holiday

Cafeteria- Frankie Cosmos

Two Beers In- Free Throw

Waves- Beach Bunny

The Move- Laura Stevenson

Cody’s Theme- AJJ

Lemon Boy- Cavetown

Motion Sickness- Phoebe Bridgers

I’m Already Gone- A Day To Remember

Lost Cause- Beck

I Am So Mad at You- AJJ

Neutral Spirit Hotel- Local News Legend

Lua- Bright Eyes

Here Comes the Anxiety- The Wombats

Dammit- blink 182

This is Home- cavetown

Fish Fry- Slaughter Beach, Dog

Brave as a Noun- AJJ

Sea of Love- Cat Power

Living Room, NY- Laura Stevenson

School Globes- Removebeforeflight

Prom Queen- Beach Bunny

The Girl- City and Colour

A Moment of Silence- Toh Kay

The Internet Is Everywhere- Jeff Rosenstock

Acolyte- Slaughter Beach, Dog

Barbie- Lili Trifilio

Mega Guillotine 2020- AJJ

is your bedroom ceiling bored? (feat. Cavetown) - Sody

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea- Neutral Milk Hotel

Bottle Rocket- Lili Trifilio 

Would You Be Impressed- Toh Kay

Better By Myself- Hey Violet

Emotional Anorexic- Svavar Knutr

First Day Of My Life- Bright Eyes

Shoegazer- Beach Bunny

Bad Bad Things- AJJ

929- Halsey

Nothing Gets Crossed Out- Bright Eyes

You Swan, Go On- AJJ

Headless Horseman- The Microphones

You- The Pretty Reckless

Hate, Rain on Me- AJJ

Break My Own- Taylor Bickett

6 Weeks- Beach Bunny

Garden Song- Phoebe Bridgers

Linda Ronstadt- AJJ

A.M. 180- PUP

Dear Sergio- Toh Kay

Saint Bernard- Lincoln 

when the party’s over- Billie Eilish 

Get Bummed Out- Remember Sports

July- Beach Bunny

Holocene- Bon Iver

Take Me To The Riot- Stars

A Line Allows Progress, A Circle Does Not- Bright Eyes

Nosebleed- Tigerwine

Suffice- Born Without Bones

Papercut- Linkin Park

Blonde Hair, Black Lungs- Sorority Noise

Satellite- Guster

This Charming Man- The Smiths

A Part of Me- Neck Deep

Timothey Leary- Wilco, Bright Eyes, They Might Be Giants

Favourite Tune- The Swellers

Tiny Vessels- Death Cab for Cutie

Counting Stars- One Republic

Situations- Escape the Fate

World- Citizen 

The Quiet That No One Ever Knows- Brand New

5 O’Clock- T-Pain, Lily Allen, Wiz Khalifa

Days Were Golden- Sunny Day Real Estate

R U Still There- Chris Farren

Samson- Regina Spektor

Such Small Hands- La Dispute

...For Anyone- Mat Kerekes

The Summer Ends- American Football

I’ve Set Sail- Toh Kay

Girls- MARINA

Bang On The Door- Jeff Rosenstock

Bad Day- Daniel Powter

Writing On The Walls- Underoath

The Memory- Mayday Parade

Cut Your Bangs- Girlpool

She’s A God- Neck Deep

Future Me- Worriers

Jet- Citizen

back again- flor

Call Me Baby- Beach Bunny

Calling All Cars- Senses Fail

2009- The Swellers

Breaking the Habit- Linkin Park

What’s at Stake- The Swellers

Out Like a Light- The Honeysticks

Swear To God The Devil Made Me Do It- The Front Bottoms

The Widow- As Cities Burn

Trap Queen- Fetty Wap

Baby I Love You- Ryan Adams

dragon eyes- Adrianne Lenker

Passion Fruit Tea- Retirement Party

Reptilia- The Strokes

Spare Change- Just Nick

Sarah- Alex G

Calendar Girl- Stars

Boss Bitch- Doja Cat

Haven’t Had Enough- Marianas Trench

Get Ghost- Mark Ronson

Poe- Stick and Poke

End of Time- Bad Moves

Beautiful Day- U2

June 21st- Jeff Rosenstock

Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous- Good Charlotte

Inside My Head- The Swellers

Sick Boy- The Chainsmokers

In Another Life- Ashlee Simpson

hope is a dangerous thing for a women like me to have- Lana Del Rey

Look After You- The Fray

Fall Right In- Beach Fossils

Don’t Let Them See You Cry- Manchester Orchestra

Animal- Miike Snow

Blood In Your Mouth- Colour Revolt

You Are a Memory- Message To Bears

Handclap- Fitz and The Tantrums

Stranger- Rarity

Sleepless- Girlpool

Bruises- Lewis Capaldi

Two High- Moon Taxi

Cattails- Big Thief

If I Tremble- Front Porch Step

When We Were Young- Adele

Look What You Made Me Do- Taylor Swift

Young Folk- Peter Bjorn and John

Where the Buffalo Sleep- Sik Oheso

Ripcord- Real Friends

Rearview- Beach Bunny

Do You Really Want To Not Get Better- Joyce Manor

Somewhere I Belong- Linkin Park

Don’t Let Me Down- The Chainsmokers, Daya

LTCTLYBP- Pet Symmetry

hate u love you- Olivia O’Brien

Black Cat- Mayday Parade

Alice and Gertrude- Nana Grizol

American Lies- Pennywise

Second Letter From St. Julien- Sorority Noise

Stale Device- Girlpool

Be Nothing- Beach Fossils

Can’t Stop- Red Hot Chili Peppers

Piece of Me- Britney Spears

Would You Be So Kind- dodie

buzzcut- lovelytheband

Better Than Revenge- Taylor Swift

She’s A Lady- Forever The Sickest Kids

Lessons- Beach Fossils

Here’s a link to my playlist if anyone is interested:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4jAli1LWjjPmehumgt52bY?si=HgM-dd04T9q_FEDsjqZTaQ

[douxbebearchives]

Meet the Author: remusslupinn

Hi, Tori!

Stories can be found here.

Twitter.

__________

When did you start writing Olitz? 2018.

Tell us about yourself! What do you want readers to know about you? I’m fresh out of college — and I just love to tell stories and communicate. Writing is my career as well, so I never have a shortage of it. Outside of my writing, I have a huge, wonderful family, two dogs, and great friends — all of whom I love dearly. I have a lot of different hobbies, so I enjoy staying busy and trying new things. And of course, I love Scandal. My life has undoubtedly changed for the better since I started watching the show and became immersed in the fandom.

What drew you to Olivia and Fitz? I think Tony Goldwyn and Kerry Washington’s chemistry was a huge part of that. Those two have something special, and it’s easy to see onscreen. I loved so many of their moments and their dialogue — it really felt like despite the craziness they went through, that they were just two people who really loved each other. From the very first episode, I was hooked on them, and that’s never changed!

What made you want to write about them? Honestly, I just found myself wanting to expand on what we were seeing in the show. I wanted to explore new scenarios with the two characters, and their chemistry onscreen was definitely my inspiration for that.

How would you describe your writing? Romance, angst, slow burn for sure. I will always focus on Olitz since that’s who I’m writing about, but I do enjoy developing my other characters on the side too. I’m very detailed in my writing (too detailed sometimes, probably), and I like to let my dialogue carry chapters a lot of the time. Sometimes it’s not right for the chapter so there’s a lot more description, but dialogue is something that just flows easily for me, and I really enjoy it. I also think my writing can be informal sometimes, in the sense that it really dives into how a character feels inside. I sometimes make little jokes here and there that readers may catch; they usually don’t serve any purpose in the characters’ situation — but are there to make readers laugh (hopefully).

What inspires you to write / create? Honestly, I get inspiration from so many things — some of which are surprising. First off, from the show, itself, and from Tony and Kerry. I also get inspiration from little conversations I hear at the store or conversations I’m participating in. Sometimes I even get inspiration from simple photos and things I see on social media.

Favorite movies, shows, music? 

Favorite movies: Love Actually, Hunger Games series, Divergent series, The Proposal, Iron Man, Safe Haven 

Favorite shows: Scandal, Lucifer, GOT, Umbrella Academy, Friends 

Favorite music: I like a little bit of everything. You’ll find me listening to everything from rap, pop, r&b, country, alternative rock, rock, and showtunes.

How long does it take you to write a chapter? This all depends for me. Oftentimes, I will have little bits and pieces written out already beforehand since I’m a big planner. However, I do tend to write longer chapters, and I’m very descriptive as well. This definitely lengthens that amount of time. Usually, I can have a chapter written and edited in two to three weeks — unless life really gets in the way!

Did the show’s themes and plots encourage you or discourage you from writing? Encourage.

Writing AU or Canon? AU.

Reading AU or Canon? AU.

________

A favorite line, scene, or paragraph you’ve written.

I think a favorite of mine will always be in Forbidden, when Fitz asked Olivia to marry him. Either that, or their wedding, itself. I have to admit, those scenes had me in my feels while writing them because they’re so dear to my heart, and I wish we would have gotten that in the actual show.

________

Fave Olitz moments? The rose garden and Constitution scenes, EVERY moment on the campaign trail, when they ran out the clock together, and their night in Vermont.

Fave Olitz fanfic moments? I love all fanfic talks of marriage and little Olitz babies! I need to be better at reading more fanfic, myself, but I can say that I really do love domestic Olitz scenes. We didn’t get enough of that in the show!

________

Do you like it when readers engage with you via comments / social media? Yes.

Story Reviews: Love them, hate them? Of course, this depends for me as well. I really appreciate every thoughtful review — whether positive or constructive. Positive ones boost my confidence and make it even easier to want to keep writing. It’s very nice knowing there are people who deeply appreciate the time and effort I put into my writing. Constructive ones can give me an insight into certain things as I write, and can be helpful too. What discourages me are the hate reviews. These are usually in the form of guest reviews, but not always. I can confidently say that I do hate those, and they can really have a negative impact on my confidence, both when it comes to writing and even other things as well. Unfortunately, those stick with me for a long time.

What advice would you give to a new Olitz writer? I would say to write what you want to write about. This is truly advice for any writer in general. It’s a bonus when people enjoy it, but if you have a story you want to tell — then you DO IT!

Outside of your fics, do you have any fave Olitz stories or authors? I’m not a big FanFiction reader because I tend to spend my free time writing.

Do you talk to other Olitz authors? If so, do you like the camaraderie? I do. I enjoy being able to talk to others who write, and discussing our ideas, feedback, etc.

Have you made friends (people you talk to outside of fanfic) because of Olitz / Scandal fanfic? I sure have! Some of my best friends have come from being in the Scandal fandom and the Olitz fanfic community.

Before you go, anything else you’d like to share? Thanks as always, to those who read what authors are putting out there. Writing fanfic is truly no picnic. It isn’t easy and sometimes you feel more negative about things than you do positive. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of the readers. You all make it so much more enjoyable!

________

Thank you, Tori, for allowing us to feature you!

[iatheia]

EDA reviews Part 6 - books 47-55

Previous part 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5

47) The Slow Empire - Uh, couldn't really follow this one at all. There are books when the first person narration works, but not here - too many jumps in setting, too little connective tissue, most of it told from the POV of a person who is barely connected to the protagonists? And that's even before they started repeating chunks of text wholesale between various parts - and I couldn't figure out if it was intended, or if it is the ebook was acting out on me. More than half way through the book, I still couldn't entirely tell what the story is supposed to be about, or if the plot has even started yet. Even having finished it, I find myself somewhat aghast. There are a few glimpses of something interesting, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what. 4/10

48) Dark Progeny - Also not really feeling it. It's not a bad story, but I do rather prefer a Doctor Who story to actually feature the Doctor and the companions front and center, whether they are POV characters or not. Here, though, they are barely in it - it's even more egregious than the previous one in actually giving the supposed protagonists stuff to do, and even on rare occasions we do switch back to them, it is all pretty generic. Anji developing telepathic abilities and the Doctor trying to calm her down all the while Fitz is freaking out in the background? Yes, please, more of that. Following around 20 interchangeable OCs that have nothing to do with the trio? No thank you. 6/10.

49) The City of the Dead - If you are invoking magic in a sci-fi universe, you need to be able to handwave it. It doesn't need to be awfully complex, "something something aliens, something something energy" is usually enough, but without it, you can't just throw magic about willy nilly. There are rules.

There are moments when it is a beautiful story, evoking a lot of dream-like wonder, and if it managed to remain a hazy dream, it probably would have been better for it. At the same time there is something very uncomfortably cynical about it, to the degree it left a bad taste in my mouth. There is a narrow line between not shying away from the ugliness of the world and deliberately making something ugly just for the sake of it, and often it felt like it was leaning towards the latter. Dunno, I started out wanting to like it, and feeling rather conflicted about it, but by the end became utterly indifferent. 7/10

50) Grimm Reality - Pure crack. Mind Robber wishes it could be as hilarious and off the wall as this story is. It throws every cliche fairy tale narrative device in the book at the characters and expects them to take it with the straight face, all the while realizing that the rules of the world are completely bonkers. And it manages to sustain this energy throughout, which is a no small feat. It's actually pretty exhausting by the end of it. Fairy tales stories do not belong to a lengthy literary genre, and even taking time deconstructing them, at 95K words becomes it becomes just too much - figuratively, and, on occasion, literally. Still, pretty great, I wish more books had its energy 9/10.

51) The Adventuress of Henrietta Street - *sigh*. My expectations were pretty low to begin with, and I still am somehow disappointed. Credit where credit's due - it is probably most coherent of the books from Miles. And at least it's better than Interference. That's really not saying much, though.

Honestly, if you've read any story about prostitutes, murder, satanic sex rituals bordering on blatant pornography, eastern culture and "mysticism of female sex" used for fetish fuel, written by a dude who clearly gets off on all of this - you've read all of them. There is really nothing revolutionary or compelling about it. On the list of "plots I never want to see in Doctor Who", they are definitely up there. And the Doctor is dying again, because it wouldn't be Miles's book without it. And he's, uh... living in a brothel, trying to marry someone, in order to, uh..... ritualistically tie himself to Earth, for, reasons? Did I read that right? After over 100 years of living on Earth and wanting to do nothing else than seeing the back of it, right. And writing books not quite about sex but definitely about sex. Because that's the thing the Doctor apparently does now. Self insert what self insert. And Fitz and Anji are just... there. On an occasion. All of it exposed on in a dull faux academic style without a shred of characterization, all the while absolutely nothing of note is happening, despite being a singularly longest EDA.

Just, if you hate the characters so much. If you don't understand what makes them tick to this degree. If you don't even care to learn. If you consider any established emotions they should have about the plot you are putting them through beneath you. Why are you writing in a shared universe to begin with? 2/10

(I did have an unintentional moment of hilarity with it, though. There is a character that is referred to as Lord ______, as if his name is censored. TTS would always pronounce it as Lord Underbarunderbarunderbar. Always gave me a chuckle).

52) Mad Dogs and Englishmen - A hilarious story, a very easy read, flowing from scene to scene. There are several occasions of fridge horror treated with levity that I would have rather have avoided. Plus, it is as incestuous as a book about books can get, and yet.... It is just absurd enough to work.

Plus, the whole, “His books are full of black magic, mind control...and perversion - moral and ethical and sexual. He is polluting the atmosphere of our group”, “What’s next? Rewrite War and Peace so it’s about guinea pigs?” - Oh, the shade. It is a good book in its own right, but just for this alone, 10/10

53) Hope - It's a pretty average book. Not outstanding, not horrible. Would have made a decent episode, all things considered, in a bread and butter sort of way. It does have some great ideas - the refuge of humanity, the conflict between Anji and the Doctor finally coming to light - not quite the type of conflict I was hoping for, though. If only it had a bit more nuisance, without neatly delineated black and white, if the antagonist didn't end up being a mustache twirling villain, if the Doctor didn't end up strong-arming everyone in a much more macho manner than he normally goes for (with a rather clunky dialogue). It had potential, even if it didn't end up being realized in full. 8/10

54) Anachrophobia - Very meh. The set up was fairly contrived, it never made me care about any of the characters, including whatever the hell the Doctor and co were doing, not to mention any of the secondary characters. Not terribly engaging, after a point I was mostly flipping through it. There is some big conflict brought up at 95% mark, and it is resolved in just couple of pages via a deus ex machina and a paradox. Overall, I might have said that I would have liked it better if I was in a mood for existential horror, but I took a break in the middle to listen to the Lease of Life - and it actually touches upon several similar themes, but with and outstanding character drama and much more graceful execution, which made this book look even more poor in comparison. 5/10

55) Trading Futures - I will give the author all the points for keeping an eye on the future. Perhaps, in 2002, predicting tablets being used as menus in fancy restaurants wasn’t that big of a reach, but I absolutely had a spit take when TTS has read to me something about “eye-phones”. There are some modestly clever moments throughout the book. Too bad that the rest of it is a complete rubbish. Not terribly original, either - a lot of ideas are copied directly from other books and other franchises. Reasonably entertaining, all things considered, but in a much more slapstick sort of way than was probably intended. 7/10

Overall impressions so far - This batch is, for the most part, fine. Some stories are worst than others, some better. With one exception, nothing horrendous, but nothing to write home about, either. They are, for the most part, serviceable. Individually, they have decent enough plots. But. There is very little character work. They can generally be read in any order, or dropped entirely, and you wouldn’t miss anything. The Doctor is mostly coasting from the excellent streak in the last batch, always in a spot light. I am starting to tire of the whole amnesia arc, though - it was good, but it ran its course, and at this point, with everything functionally back to norm, with barely a stray mention of it here and there, we are starting to be overdue for some semblance of resolution of all that. Henrietta Street is entirely a step in the wrong direction - not only it does nothing worthwhile for the characters, it’s just getting unnecessarily further into the weedworks, adding yet another plot thread that is forced on other writers to carry (they mention it occasionally, but it’s not like there is much to build upon) - rather viciously reminding of the previous mess of an ark “don’t you dare to think that it is over”. And I am so over it. Just, move on.

The companions fare rather worse. They are decent enough, they participate in action, in each book, they are mostly staying in character, with a handful of neat moments here and there (in a blink and you’ll miss it sort of way, though), they aren’t written off as an unnecessary burden to carry, which is an improvement. There is nothing meaty given to them though - they ask the necessary questions, do the things required of them, and generally stay out of the way when they are not needed. I guess Anji has at least some character driven moments, even though most of them are reduced to “I miss my dead boyfriend”. Which is... fine, we’ve all lost people, we all mourn them in our own way, but it has been 14 books since her introduction, and she is leaving in another 10. To have her character reduced to just that bit from her first book, with barely anything else to offer.... Plus, all the while, she rarely felt like she integrated into the team - because she is constantly eying her exit and returning to normality (even though she always decides to stay just a little while longer due to circumstances), it’s like from the very beginning she had one foot out of the door.

But while Anji is a bit of a one trick pony, at least she has that much. Poor Fitz gets absolutely nothing to do. The last meaningful book that addressed his character in any way was all the way back around book #42-43, and even that was just catching up on plot after his prolonged absence. He’s been essentially frozen since early 30s books. He is generally a fun character to have around, and does good supporting work, but can he please get something more impactful any time soon? Heck, by this point I’ll even take the recurrence of “finding a new love interest number 20 who will inevitably die by the end of the book” - it has been overdone, and it is certainly not a very exciting plot, not to mention reductive, but at least it’d be something. Though, I guess only one companion is allowed to carry that staple at the time, and right now Anji is it, two dead lovers is just an overkill.

And it is an absolute shame - especially when considering that on the other side, Big Finish was in the middle of streak of some of the best stories. Over the same time that these novels were published, we had audios such as Project Twilight, Eye of the Scorpion, Colditz, One Doctor, Chimes of Midnight, Seasons of Fear, which were full of character.

[shes-an-oddbird]

Christmas at River’s End Mall

Summary -  A Christmas AU in which everyone navigates their seasonal jobs, relationships and Christmas spirit, or lack there of, through woven together tales inspired by holiday prompts.

Chapter 6 - Christmas Tree

Summary -   Jemma and Daisy search for a Christmas tree last minute and Jemma tells Daisy about their new house guest.

Prompt - Christmas Tree Relationship - Jemma & Daisy POV - Jemma

Jemma knows the last few boxes are just a little messier than usual and the ribbons slightly askew but she’s in a rush to finish the last of the gifts and clock out. It’s quiet in the mall. The natural day light from the skylights had been replaced with softer moonlight and the harsh fluorescent fixtures cast shadows she doesn’t recall seeing during the day. Gates have been lowered on stores, the only patrons are mall staff and most of them are on their way out too. She cleans up her space quickly; brushing the scraps of her conversations with Fitz into the bin beneath her workspace and making sure all the gifts are secure before pushing her stool under the table and rushing to the stairs.

She’s supposed to meet Daisy so they can finally get their Christmas tree. It’s the first chance they’d had even well into December. Her labs kept her busy and Daisy seemed to work non-stop this time of year. She dedicated her days to volunteering at the mall and that left her freelance cyber security work to be done at all hours of the night.

But someone was covering her labs tonight and Daisy managed to squeeze out a little time in schedule, so this evening they were going to have a Christmas themed girls’ night and decorate their tree, bake cookies, down eggnog and maybe binge a couple of holiday movies.

Jemma was hoping it would put Daisy in a good mood because she had some news that her friend was going to be less than excited about.

She hurried down the steps to the North Pole where a few volunteers were finishing clean up. Daisy is leaning against a table while Daniel, the new volunteer Daisy claims to be the biggest dork, creates neat stacks with piles and piles of envelops.

“You’ve never seen Elf?” She asks him in disbelief.

“No.” He confirms.

“What about A Christmas Carol.”

“Of course.”

“The Muppet version?”

“Um, no.”

“The Grinch?”

“The original.” He says positively.

“Okay, have you watched any movies made after 1990?”

“Not many.”

“Jemma help, he’s never seen Home Alone.”

Jemma knows that while Daisy is chipper and teasing this may truly be causing her distress. “I’m surprised she’s even speaking to you, our first Christmas as roommates I think we had a 48-hour movie marathon of every holiday movie I hadn’t seen.”

“My family only ever watched classics when I was a kid, I may have seen some of these but if I did, I don’t remember them well.” He reasons.

“So watch them again, mix it up.”

He shrugs. “I guess, I just don’t like watching movies alone.”

Daisy huffs, “Well I’m making a list – “

“and checking it twice?” He interrupts her and she shoves his shoulder.

“I’m making a list of must-see Christmas movies and you’re watching them, I’ll watch them with you if I have too, no one should be deprived of watching a grown ass adult’s belief in Santa be restored ten or twelve times in a row.”

“I do hope you’re making this list later because if we don’t get going, they’ll be all closed up soon.” Jemma hates to pull Daisy away from her fun but she’s eager to get their tree.

“Where are you guys off to?”

“We’ve got to get our Christmas tree.”

“Do you need any help?”

“Thanks but we’re good, Bobbi forced Hunter to stay late and help us, might as well put him to work.”

“Fair enough, see you tomorrow?” Daisy nods and they wave goodbye. They walk in silence towards the front entrance of the mall, pulling on their coats and gloves. Jemma adjusts her wool hat so that it covers her ears and checks to see if Daisy is ready to go only to find her looking back in the direction they came from.

Jemma smirks and doesn’t bother to try to hide her amusement. Daisy turns back to her, preparing to pull on her own hat and jumps when she sees she has been caught. “What?” She asks, her cheeks rosy like they’ve already stepped out in the cold.

“Nothing, you’re right though, he’s kind of a dork, sweet though, it was nice of him to offer his help.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

They hurry outside and across the dark parking lot towards the tree lot. There are a few snow-covered cars nearby and Jemma spots Hunter loading a fluffy tree into the bed of a large red truck. As they get closer Jemma can see that the tree farm has been picked over and what is left seems to consist of a few unnecessarily large trees, a few puny ones and the rest look as though they are already on their last limbs.

“Oh dear.” Jemma’s heart sinks and she glances worriedly at Daisy.

“Wow.” Her friend runs her hand over a branch of the nearest tree and several bristles fall to the ground. “Not much to choose from is there, guess it’s my own fault, I should have made time sooner.”

Jemma frowns. Daisy’s attempt to brush off her disappointment is obvious, at least to her. Her friend loved Christmas and putting up the tree was one of her favorite traditions. She had several beautiful ornaments; May and Coulson and even Bobbi had taken to giving her one every year. Just recently she had started to do the same. She always took such care when hanging them.

“I’m sure we will find the perfect one, let’s look around.” Jemma loops her arm through Daisy’s and pulls her along.

The healthy little ones were too small to support Daisy’s vast collection of decorations and the large ones would eat up the small living room of their apartment, but they look and look again for the right one.

“Hello loves,” Hunter steps up behind them, throwing an arm around each of their shoulders. “Bout time you showed up.”

“Hey, you didn’t save us a decent tree, did you?” Daisy asks.

Hunter takes a step back, “you know Bobbi might have mentioned something about that.”

Jemma feels a surge of hope, “so you’ve got one for us?”

“Afraid not.”

“Hunter!”

“Hey, you ever try to deny a tree to someone this time a year, one woman nearly took my head off when I told her the one for you was off limits, this,” he gestures to the scarce lot of trees, “is all you’ve got to choose from.”

Jemma shares an unsure look with Daisy. She wasn’t about to go without a Christmas tree. “Maybe we could get a big one, we can just push the couch aside, we hardly ever use it anyways.”

“Works for me, I get better commission on the big ones and better tips by the way.” They both shoot Hunter a look and he raises hands up in defeat. “Just let me know when you’re ready.” He says and makes a hasty disappearance.

Daisy sighs. “What do you think, we can make it work right?”

Oh damn. She was hoping not to have to bring this up yet. “Actually, we will be needing the couch, very soon actually.”

“Wait why?”

“Remember my cousin Deke?”

“The one with the creepy crush on me?”

Jemma cringes. “Yes well, his parents are flying out to spend Christmas with my parents and he was going to go too, until he heard I was planning to stay here and he thought I should have some family around for Christmas so – “

“Oh, don’t say it.”

“He’s kind of going to be staying with us.”

“Jemma!”

“I’m sorry, if I didn’t take him in, I would have never heard the end of it and he’s been better right, since you had that talk with him.”

“Yeah, but it’s still awkward.”

Jemma was actually quite fond of Deke. He shared her love of science and had a good heart. He was just a bit awkward, not unlike herself. That said it was uncomfortable to be in a room with someone you knew liked you and that was unfair to ask Daisy to do. “Let me call my mom, if I explain – “

“No, it’s okay, he’s really not bad company and I can’t throw him out at Christmas that would be cruel, even for me, besides, I know he’s your favorite cousin.” Daisy stops, maybe to re consider her words, Jemma thinks. “But if I see one lemon Jemma – “

“He’s on the street I swear, favorite or not.”

Daisy laughs and Jemma feels better knowing she’s not actually mad at her. Still she wants to make it up to her. An unexpected house guest was not in their Christmas plans. “Let’s get the big tree, I think I can squeeze an air mattress into my room.”

“We don’t have too.”

“We should, we never have enough room for all the ornaments anyways, this way we will.”

“Really?” Daisy asks hopefully and she nods insistently. Her eyes light up. “Alright, which one?”

“How about this one?” Jemma points to a vibrant green one that towers over the pair.

“I like this one.” Daisy points to a slight smaller one, the bristles are a bit browner but it would be a better size for the apartment.

“Are you sure, this one looks healthier.”

“Come on, I bet you could nurse it back to health and I’m afraid no one else will take it.”

Jemma doesn’t question Daisy’s attachment to the misfit tree. It wouldn’t be the first time she picked something that was a little different or a little odd. “It will be beautiful.”