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my-shields-are-down · 2 years

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What's ur thoughts on the break up? Should Tim have broken it off?

Personally if Tim did break up with Ashley then he'd have to face his feelings for Lucy and I dont think he's ready to just yet.

Thanks for the question! People might be surprised by my answer - especially since I have been anti-Ashley (I call her Voldie in most other places, but not today) for awhile now.

I have mixed feelings about “the break up”. Turns out I have quite a lot of thoughts on this (and some tangents), so this might be long.

First, on the surface the manner in which Ashley broke up with Tim was harsh - a total dick move. She couldn’t wait until he was coherent, she had to dump & dash the instant he was opened his eyes? She couldn’t wait until he was clear of anesthesia? Completely heartless. Rude.

And yet, on another hand, she had an epiphany at some point that a life with Tim where he stays in his job and doesn’t retire is not a life she can lead - so she swiftly takes action and goes. I am all about action, deciding or recognizing what works or doesn’t, what you want and going after that?! Fuck yeah, I support that big time. That said, I would have waited - because that was the more compassionate, empathetic way to do it. The way Ashley has been written, neither of those two things would be considered her top qualities. Lucy? Yes, definitely. Ashley? Not so much.

I think there were clues from the beginning of the episode that this could happen.

1) Tim mentions being on Whole 30 - it was Ashley’s idea in reaction to her dad having some health issues. Ashley and her Dad are wickedly close - I bet she is freaking out that his health could be at risk- so she’s desperately trying to control her life. Tim is part of that world - so he gets controlled to.

2) Ashley got WAY too excited about the possibility of Tim retiring. I felt like she was on a game show and the host had just said, “if he retires, tell her what she’s won Bob!” For a first time conversation on the topic she just barreled through all the possibilities and benefits like it was a done deal. Which made me think that she’s had this conversation with her Dad on more than one occasion and Dad regrets not taking advantage sooner - or he says he does.

She then brushes off Tim’s idea of traveling to see a MLB game in every stadium - which first, I raised my hand and volunteered to go with him, and second I think she does that all the time with Tim. The few scenes we saw her in were about Tim changing to meet her wants and needs instead of them growing together in a new direction.

3) Neither Tim nor Ashley asked any questions about the surgery. Granted because of their jobs as first responders, they’ve have some trauma training and advanced first aid classes. But this is major surgery, major not because of method - the fact they can do a minimally invasive procedure is fantastic, but major because the spine is involved. Like the brain, there’s so much unknown about the spine and the nervous system and LUCY is the only one who asks about the dangers involved the surgery. No one asks about side effects, or lasting damage, recovery times, PT, pain management, etc etc. I get being shocked, but this is why you take someone with you to ask questions while you sit there and freak out about knives being near your spine.

4) Ashley just stood there. She wasn’t holding his hand, or sitting next to Tim in the bed providing comfort and care before during or after the doctor’s visit. She was facing him like an adversary as opposed to sitting next to him as a partner or team member. Without knowing how she and Tim interact when alone, I read this as she was starting to distance herself from him. With him, but not.

She’s not overtly affectionate, she’s very reserved, hesitant almost and I think insecure. She rarely looks Tim in the eye for any extended period of time, and she’s not aware or open to Tim. I don’t think she loves Tim as he is. I think she loves the version of Tim that she’s created in her head, if he changes x, y, z then he’ll be perfect. A confident person loves and accepts themselves, I don’t think Ashley does. She kept looking to Tim for validation, that’s not confidence.

I said it in another post, but I think Ashley’s relationship with her Dad really shapes her relationship with Tim. She’s the apple of Jerry’s eye. I am sure Jerry doted on her and always let her have her way. So she manhandles her relationship with Tim to recreate that type of relationship where she’s the focus, and she controls everything.

Because things with her most important male (Jerry) are taking some hits because of his health, Ashley’s relationship with a Tim is receiving the backlash of that. She’s going to want Tim to provide her with a life that gives HER happiness - a lifeguard in Bali, living with Tim off his free money. When she realized that wasn’t going to happen, she bailed and ran.

I don’t think Lucy ever really entered into Ashley’s mind about the break up other than as a passing thought that Tim has a large cop family to support him.

===

I think if we had waited for Tim to break up with Ashley, we would have been waiting a long time. Tim liked Ashley. He cared about her. I think he was stung when she left him - more proof he’s unlovable, that people who love him, leave him. She was safe. Tim knew what to expect in his relationship with Ashley.

Being in a relationship with Lucy is wholly overwhelming for Tim. Like space, it’s undiscovered territory. He’s been in love - but Isobel didn’t know him as well as Lucy does. He has female friends - but he does not long for Angela like he longs for Lucy. I believe Tim doesn’t think Lucy likes him likes him or more importantly doesn’t think she loves him loves him. Yes, she’s attracted to him and yes, she willingly invited Tim into her home for a night of sexual pleasure. But she said it was biology. He doesn’t yet know it wasn’t just that for her.

IMO Tim never would have broken up with Ashley unless Lucy broke up with Chris and she told Tim that it wasn’t pretend for her. That she loves him and wants to be with him. Lucy, however, is waiting for Tim to do the same thing. She’s waiting for Tim to say he wants her, that he desires her, that he loves her. They are both waiting for the other to make the first move.

Right now, Tim’s overwhelmed with feelings. Feelings about Ashley and their break up. Feelings about Lucy. Feelings about her spending the night in the hospital with him. Feelings about surgery, retirement, marriage, babies, his sister, selling his childhood home, his dad dying, etc. He’s got more feelings on top of feelings, intertwined with other feelings that he doesn’t know which way is up. Before he can do anything, he has to untangle them all, acknowledge and name them and accept and process them. I bet he deals with Lucy first because SHE is the most important thing to him.

Thankfully, Tim is much more adept at dealing with them now. He’s strengthened his emotional intelligence muscle (thank you Lucy), but he’s not a talker - unless he talks to Lucy. He’s an avoider - and he’s going to avoid Lucy because it hurts him not being able to fully connect like he wants to. As he realizes how in deep the connection is with her, I don’t think he’ll be able to do it half way. Unless, there’s an imminent threat to losing her, I don’t think he’s going to be able to let her back in not all the way- his struggle with wanting to be near Lucy vs letting her in all the way, will play out on Tim’s super expressive face.

Tim is in feelings overload- so I expect Tim to revert back to TO Tim or try to at least. I loved that version of him. I’ve loved Tim since day one. He was in self-preservation mode. A hard shell and big time walls preventing people from seeing the anguish and heartbreak over losing his wife. Imagine it - you are married and one day your spouse disappears. Gone. How would YOU handle that? What would YOU be like in the world? Would you put up walls so you could cope? Or would all your emotions be on display 24x7? Or somewhere in between? Tim likely will distance himself emotionally with extreme professionalism as a way to keep his feelings hidden and in check. Without Ashley he now has no protection from Lucy, his feelings are going to be more obviously on display. He will probably make some bad decisions along the way. Until he opens back up and let’s Lucy back in.

Anyway… my 25 cents on the topic.

#askandrea #chenford #tim bradford #lucy chen #the rookie #i love them #tim x lucy #breaking up is hard to do #ashley mcgrady #i'm in chenford withdrawal

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houxe · 2 years

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The Ranboo replaces Tommy Narrative and how it’s Just Not True

The title really says it all, but I’m starting to get really tired of people pushing this narrative that Ranboo ‘replaces’ Tommy in the SBI dynamic in canon. Especially now that new people are coming in since season 1 has ended and there’ll be people going back to learn about the first season. Because, as the title says, this idea is not true at all and I feel as though we need to discuss it. As well as the fact that some of the points people give to support this claim are genuinely worrying.

Also, I’m going to preface this by saying there is a difference between a character (Tommy) believing they were replaced compared to them actually being replaced.

Please note, I don’t want this breakdown and opinion to be seen as a ‘gotcha moment’ or a ‘Tommy is better than Ranboo’ post, because that’s not what this is about and people are entitled to like some characters more than others. This is about what actually happens in canon and the actual relationships portrayed in canon that some fans are trying to erase and force their fanon narrative into instead.

Also, all of this is about the characters, unless stated otherwise with ‘cc!’

So let’s get into this.

First off, Ranboo does not interact with SBI the same way Tommy does at all, and their character brings very little development to the others. Whereas almost every encounter Tommy has with SBI, there’s some kind of development or personal growth going on between them. It’s very obvious that Ranboo is some sort of close friend, but not anywhere near what Tommy is to them.

Hell, Tommy is allowed to do shit to the rest of SBI that other characters would be, and have been, murdered for.

(We also need to address the false idea that SBI are not morally corrupt characters in canon when they’ve literally committed war crimes—but that’s for another post)

Case in point is when Tommy steals from Techno for the Dream fight and the guy just- doesn't care all that much. Even after the events of Doomsday and how they were both hurt by it.

Ever since Ranboo joined the Commune with Phil and Techno, they had done almost nothing with them, character development wise. They were just there and didn’t build much plot with it. Yes, there were a few mining/gathering streams, the adventure streams, and a few others scattered about. But it didn’t really grow anything in their relationships besides Techno and Ranboo becoming a little closer.

Also, this is not a bad thing. A character not having a lot of character development around specific people doesn’t mean they’re a badly written character or anything like that. It just means that some of these characters don’t play a major role or have an important relationship in someone else’s story and that’s perfectly okay!

Now we’re going to break down the relationships character by character. Starting with the most damning one, Wilbur.

People need to understand that Wilbur was not Ranboo’s friend during the Burger Van Arc. He was using Ranboo for his own gain and you can see that throughout the streams. He did not care about them and only kept them around as a pawn/to make himself feel better because he knows Ranboo just says things people want to hear.

You can see this by comparing the way Wilbur talks to Ranboo and Quackity. With Ranboo, he changes the tone of his voice and the wording of what they’re doing, so it looks like he changed from the time he was revived. With Quackity, he flips on a dime and immediately goes back to how he was before, antagonizing, cruel, and petty. Showing that he really hasn’t changed, and that he is, in fact, manipulating Ranboo to get what he wants and to fight against Quackity because the man wouldn’t let him into Las Nevadas.

The only time Wilbur stops to care is when Ranboo dies, but even then, he doesn’t mention it all that much. Even when he talks to Phil about it, it feels like he was just placating the man after Ranboo’s death and almost like it was an afterthought to him, something he brushes off almost instantly because he genuinely didn’t care for Ranboo.

Compare this to Tommy, where Wilbur actively tries his best to keep Tommy with him, no matter what. Especially when they’re setting up the trap for Quackity and he demands Tommy’s trust and for him to stay, after Tommy calls out his lies. In fact, he’s so desperate to make Tommy stay, that it’s to the point where he admits that the only reason he didn’t involve Tommy in the Burger Van was because he ‘didn’t want Tommy to get hurt’. Showing that Wilbur was, in fact, using Ranboo as a pawn.

Hell, Wilbur cares so much about Tommy that it got to the point where he didn’t even want to apologize because he was utterly terrified of being rejected and his apology not accepted. Wilbur made the active decision to not apologize because he thought that once he did, it would be over and Tommy would leave him. And that scared him.

His character only starts to grow from this once he finds out about Exile and what happened to Tommy. The man even has a whole ass daydream about beating Dream to death because of what he did to Tommy. He blacks out after it’s explained to him. He is pissed beyond belief and wants revenge for what happened. Obviously, he decides it’s better to get Tommy out from under Dream’s control, but he’s still very protective and was even willing to sacrifice himself and go back to Limbo to help Tommy.

Something he doesn’t even think about with Ranboo when they stepped on the explosives, and it’s very worrying that people don’t see the manipulation that went on between the two and try to push this rhetoric that they became friends. Friends close enough that Ranboo would ‘take Tommy’s place’ when it isn’t true.

Now we’re moving onto Phil.

I am aware that there was supposed to be some whole adoption stream between Phil and Ranboo that was apparently thrown out, and Techno made a joke about Phil adopting Ranboo, but that was honestly retconned as soon as Phil agreed with Wilbur calling Ranboo ‘the neighbor kid’. Also, they didn’t have a lot of streams where they were bonding, and doing a plot like that wouldn’t have made any kind of sense and would have just been out of the blue. Especially because the guy just lost his actual son and destroyed the one physical thing that was still connected to him? Hell, if it had happened, people would think Ranboo was replacing Wilbur, Phil’s canonical son, instead of Tommy, lmao.

But I digress, let’s continue.

Phil’s character is mild compared to everyone else. It can be hard to tell what he’s thinking, and he doesn’t tend to act in a very obvious way. But there are some things that stand out a lot between his relationships with Tommy and Ranboo.

Obviously, Phil hasn’t interacted a whole bunch with Ranboo after offering them a place to stay. He generally doesn’t keep hard feelings, though that is fairly inconsistent since he disowned Fundy but flipped on a dime to take in Ranboo ‘because he could tell he didn’t want to do it.’ Which is a fairly poor excuse when Ranboo has actively disagreed with the cabinet before, but a lot of stuff was really just thrown around during this time.

I think many people tend to build up this relationship a lot because Phil and Ranboo have not interacted often or shown a close relationship besides being friends. Not to mention there has been little to no character development between the two. There’s nothing to work with and for both characters, the other is just… in the background most of the time, besides the instance where Phil extended a helping hand and a place to stay or when he met Michael. Neither is really a main supporting character in each other’s story and, again, that’s okay. They don’t need to be a main supporting character and you can start to see that this is the case around the time Ranboo dies outside the prison.

Phil almost shrugs Ranboo’s death off, their revival an afterthought when Dream is right there with the power to bring them back. Something Phil knows about because he’s the one who found out Tommy was revived by Dream. Even when Techno remembers that Dream can revive Ranboo and mentions it, Phil just gives a little ‘oops’ and laughs it off before going into his house. And when he meets Ranboo’s ghost, there isn’t much of a reaction either, because they weren’t extremely close to begin with.

Yes, Ranboo is considered Techno’s friend because they actually had at least a few conversations and meet ups. But that rarely happened with Phil and after a while they just stopped all together besides Syndicate meetings. Do they call each other friends? Definitely! But not to the extent that some try to force into canon.

Compared to Tommy, he and Phil have interacted a lot more. Especially during the time right before Doomsday. The man even had a picture of Tommy in his house, before someone stole the face. Hell, the two had gotten so close during post-Exile that when Tommy died, Phil point blank refused to believe it and actively tried to convince himself it was a lie until he went searching for the truth on his own.

He genuinely cares for Tommy and made a point to protect him when Dream hunted him down after the prison escape. Even agreeing to walk him home and watch over him until he felt safe, taking the time to try and impart lessons on him, and just generally being there when Tommy needed help because the two have actually bonded.

Phil was a major point in helping Tommy develop as a character, including the situation where Phil was on house arrest and Tommy was trying to help Techno get him out and was upset by it. There is a real connection there rather than stuff that’s been made up by fans and treated as canon when it’s not.

I do understand that a lot of people like to build up character relationships, and the relationship between Ranboo and Phil isn’t the only one to go through this. The issue only comes when people are actively trying to say one character has a better relationship with another, compared to someone else, when it’s shown to not be true and are trying to force this false narrative of ‘replacement’ into canon.

I also understand people have a favorite character and wish they had a better relationship with another character they like, and that’s totally fine and valid! But you are confusing people. There are many new watchers who do not want to watch every lore stream and constantly pushing this idea as canon when it doesn’t happen, is what causes arguments amongst fans who are genuinely confused about what is canon and what isn’t.

Finally, we’re going to move onto Techno.

Point blank. I don’t understand why people have this idea that Techno replaces Tommy with Ranboo. Because their relationships are entirely different from each other and we see that in the way they interact. Ranboo is Techno’s friend. Yes, that has been established. And they have also been jokingly referred to as Techno’s student. But Techno has never shown any brotherly or fatherly actions towards Ranboo, and cc!Techno had openly set a boundary against people saying Ranboo is his kid or anything like that. Tommy was also never Techno’s ‘student’ and their relationship is much more complicated and intense than the one between Ranboo and Techno.

Ranboo and Techno are close in a way where they are but are not. Obviously, they’re friends, but this distance is mainly because Ranboo had been lying to Techno since day one and they’re both introverts who only go out occasionally. Their relationship is close, but distant enough that they can go months without feeling the need to talk to each other. Which can excuse their lack of speaking through streams.

I think people forget that the biggest reason Ranboo joined the Syndicate was to spy on them so they wouldn’t go and hurt Tubbo or Snowchester. Which has also no doubt kept Ranboo away from getting too close, because Techno would’ve killed them after finding that out. Before the incident at the prison, obviously. Also, yes, cc!Ranboo also said his character joined because he didn’t like governments anymore, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that Ranboo has been spying on them for their own gain and we all know Techno doesn’t take betrayal lightly and Ranboo knows this too.

And for those who will no doubt bring it up: There is a big difference between Tommy’s ‘betrayal’ and what could’ve been Ranboo’s potential betrayal. Tommy was honest about his intentions and what he wanted the entire time in both Pogtopia and Post-Exile, and Techno knew them. Not once did Tommy try to intentionally gaslight him otherwise. Meanwhile, Ranboo was not honest and continuously lied and misled all of the Syndicate, save for Phil. It was for a good purpose, yes, but not something Techno would forgive like he did with Tommy, and it would’ve been an amazing plot to see.

Tommy’s relationship with Techno has a lot more meaning and connection behind it. They’ve been through revolution, war, physical and mental healing, and hurt feelings caused from both sides. They both show obvious care and affection for each other, even after they split up and were hurt, and we see this in Techno’s will where he purposefully dedicates a little paragraph to Tommy, wishing him the best, and then Tommy admits on stream that he should apologize to Techno.

Tommy even admits that Techno is like a brother to him and Techno has always acted brotherly towards Tommy in return. Such as indulging him in almost anything he wants, letting him run amok and build ugly cobblestone towers, and steal his shit without even putting up that much of a fight, but still willing to fight and protect him. They have a very clear, even if very complicated, relationship and they continue with this throughout the story/streams, including their little ‘off screen bedrock bros reconciliation’ where Techno indulges all of Tommy’s silly little jokes. Their personalities also just mesh well, especially with Tommy not being afraid to stand up to Techno, like so many other characters are, and speak his mind. That’s not something you can just switch out with someone who crumbles easily under pressure and expect it to be the same.

Again, I understand that people have a favorite character and you are valid in that, but you can’t just take one character and try to put them in another character’s story when it doesn’t fit.

It’s okay that Ranboo doesn’t have a strong connection to SBI like Tommy does because they’re their own character and they have their own story. Ranboo has a lot of other relationships (such as Niki and Tubbo) that they put effort into and it’s honestly so sad seeing all these other characters and relationships be tossed to the side in favor of trying to force Ranboo into something they’re not heavily involved in.

You can’t just use Tommy’s story and dynamic and put Ranboo in it because you want them in a better relationship with Wilbur, Techno, and Phil in canon or because you don’t like Tommy, but you like Ranboo and the dynamic. Ranboo has their own relationships with those three. Sure, the relationships aren’t as developed as some people want them to be, nor as nice, but you can build up the relationships that are already there in your own works instead of trying to push this false narrative into canon.

It isn’t fair to Ranboo’s character, story, and all the work they put into it, nor SBI’s for that matter, to be tossed aside so you can force a square block into a circle shaped hole.

Adding onto that, Ranboo has never shown an incentive to being more than just friends with SBI. They helped Wilbur because that’s just their personality. They talk with Phil because they’re regular friends. And their relationship with Techno never went past being friends/being a student, nor did they try to push that and attempt to have a dynamic with them that’s similar to Tommy’s. Ranboo has shown that they are very comfortable with where they are in terms of their relationship with SBI and hasn’t tried to change it.

Not to mention, people don’t LIKE being replacements. Ranboo would not like being Tommy’s ‘replacement’ and they would definitely give a whole ass speech about it, if it actually happened in canon. Even with a worm for a spine, they would speak up and be genuinely upset over it for both themself and for Tommy. Just like they did when Tommy took all the blame and got exiled, and the cabinet was talking badly about him.

Think of it like this: How would you feel if someone only talked to you because you had a few similar traits to someone else? Would you feel good about yourself? Would you like that? Knowing that someone doesn’t actually like you for you and only the things that remind them of another person? If not, why would you think Ranboo would like that? Someone who already has self-esteem issues and clear imposter syndrome because of their Enderwalk state?

Because that’s the idea people are pushing when they try to put Ranboo in Tommy’s place in the SBI dynamic, when they already have their own relationship with them.

I think fans have a bad habit of mixing up cc!Ranboo’s personality with the character and even then, they still get their character wrong. In what world is cc!Ranboo even remotely similar to Tommy or cc!Tommy? In what world would cc!Ranboo ever be okay with replacing his friend, for that matter? As a cc! who is very vocally against those sorts of things and has made videos about it?

Adding in, people who do this actively have to give Ranboo Tommy’s personality traits because the story and dynamic between 4/4 SBI won’t work with what Ranboo has already made for their character. If they don’t give them these traits, then SBI just treat them like a doll that they can play with and push to do whatever they want because Ranboo has no spine (seriously, a terrible case of being a people pleaser) and the three of them can all be very intense and demanding characters. We’ve already seen this with Wilbur and even Techno. (When he kept pressuring Ranboo to join the Syndicate and backed them into a corner.)

And when people do try to merge these two wildly different personalities, it only makes Ranboo look like a cheap, quiet knock off that SBI only likes because they have traits similar to Tommy, but they can make them do whatever they want. Basically, the same thing above, but with more steps.

Not to mention, doing this makes it appear as though Ranboo is a tool or a fleeting object to use and toss away. (Especially in Wilbur’s case.) And it just makes SBI look abusive because their 4/4 dynamic with Tommy doesn’t fit with Ranboo’s character. There is constant push back and banter between all of them that can be really intense in the story, (let’s be honest Ranboo would not survive Pogtopia nor Revived Wilbur if they were treated the same as Tommy, and if they were the one to fight Techno, people would be calling for Techno’s head) and eventually Ranboo would not be able to deny them after a certain point. (Again, we’ve seen this with both Techno and Wilbur.) And I’m saying this as a Dark SBI writer who doesn’t even like Ranboo—

Again, Ranboo would not be okay with this. Yes, they have no spine, and it’d take them a bit to work up the courage to speak up, but they would say something if they were actually treated as a replacement in canon. They would feel awful, and self-conscious, and have imposter syndrome about all of it. Both for themself and for Tommy.

And adding onto that, Ranboo and Tommy are nothing alike. I see these comments about how Ranboo is just an ‘upgraded Tommy’ because they’re ‘quiet’ when their personalities are completely different. Ranboo is shy, soft-spoken, awkward, a people pleaser, needs to be pushed to speak their mind, and has more of a deadpanned, responsive type of humor. Tommy, on the other hand, is loud, abrasive, and stubborn. He’s not afraid to speak his mind at any point in time and his humor is about being loud and making random jokes or laughing randomly. They are complete opposites, which is why they were very good friends in the beginning.

Just because you don’t like a character doesn’t mean you can take bits and pieces from them and give it to your favorite. Not to mention, it’s entirely hypocritical for the specific fans who don’t like Tommy because of his ‘personality’, but then they turn around and give bits of said personality to Ranboo. If you don’t like the character, that is completely valid! But don’t try and give a reasoning- just to throw that reasoning to the side so you can change your favorite character’s story in canon.

It’s so insulting to the character Ranboo made to be boiled down to an ‘upgraded version’ of someone else instead of being their own character and personality. Not to mention Tommy’s character, too. You can’t just steal all the stories and relationships and plots he’s worked for and on, and give it to someone else. It’s rude, it’s insulting to both of them, and it doesn’t work.

It isn’t true, it’s not what happens. The characters and their relationships aren’t even remotely similar in any way, and you’re confusing people and potentially causing arguments and fans to dislike characters because of it.

Just because one character has a relationship with other characters who have a more meaningful relationship with someone else, doesn’t mean they’re replacing said other character.

That’s like saying Tubbo or Fundy ‘replaces’ Tommy in the Crime Bois dynamic when they all have different relationships and a ‘replacement’ idea would have never crossed anyone’s mind. I genuinely don’t understand why this ‘replacement’ idea was pushed so heavily with Ranboo, when it clearly isn’t the case and they have a normal relationship with SBI. If it was Tubbo in their shoes, it wouldn’t have been a thing at all.

But, again, I digress

Obviously, you are 100% allowed to have your AUs and stories and share them wherever you like! But don’t put out this false narrative because you don’t like a specific character and try to force it to be actual CANON when everything in the story points the other way.

Anyway, I got a little carried away, but these are just my thoughts and opinions on this idea that ‘Ranboo replaces Tommy’ nonsense being pushed into canon.

#dsmp #dream smp #dsmp lore #tommyinnit #ranboo #discussion #more of a rant really #I'm tired of this grandpa #why was this such a big idea #please let ranboo have their own personality and relationships with other characters my god-#they ain't just another version of tommy please-#they can have bad relationships with people #that's how characters work

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roboromantic · 1 year

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Episode 18

I’ve always thought it’s neat how Twitch just kinda hovers around all the time in bot mode – we don’t really ever see that in other shows, at least not that I can remember. I wonder if Nightshade’ll do that too or if it’s just to keep her in frame when she’s with taller bots lmao. anyway flying sibling bonding time When

OH GEEZ YEAH THEY REALLY ARE GOING THERE. DAMN. that does answer my question of who Bee was fighting last episode tho

oh so he’s probably only mostly dead. got it. Still though, that imagery was straight out of a horror movie

oof. yikes

between the arms, near (?) death, and this coughing he’s getting very Grievous-esque

lmao yeah, if only

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this is Good Shit but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OUGH I was just thinking earlier today abt there being an ep where their bond is gone for whatever reason and them having to deal with that, especially since the Terrans have never not had it that’s probably not really what they’re gonna get into here but it’s still neat to see it to some degree

Dot is gonna be Pissed.

I kinda hope this is gonna end up like Rescue Bots where the kids are free to interact with the residents of Witwicky, at least. imagine………….slice of life school episodes……………..learning more about their family cultures……………….literally anything except these poor kids being traumatized every other episode 😞

Good to know they live in a dystopia where your car apparently requires wi-fi to run and can be driven remotely by people hacking into it 😬

NOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭 baby

OUFGH THE POWER OF FAMILYU…………………………

They’re uh. They’re not creating an army of siblings, are they.

A HEEM HEEM……………WHIMPER…………………..

man I gotta say I do really hate how energon’s become like their Only food source. Like whatever happened to drinking oil. or gas. Beryllium baloney. hell, why don’t they ever explore the idea of finding/making a New kind of food – like how is ANYONE even getting energon on Earth anyway??? Is it growing here thanks to the Emberstone??? Being made from other energy sources like the G1 cartoon??? (Where Autobots didn’t even use energon at first, they got their energy from recharging chambers) Can it be grown like sugar crystals or something and harvested like in TFA??? Anyway some variety Please im Begging you. Isn’t it enough for energon to be a super powerful energy source. Back to the making new food thing I know they’ve done synth-en a couple times but that en still refers to energon so. Now researching the Terrans water stuff and seeing if they can figure out how to make something from THAT would be great. ..................something something Twitch gamer girl bathwater. is that anything

Only vaguely related but I don’t think they’ve ever addressed the issue of how exactly they all got to Earth anyway. Prime’s talked to Teletraan 1 so presumably the Ark exists somewhere? maybe being repaired somewhere away from GHOST? but atm I think all we know is what Alex said about them arriving via an apparently pre-made space bridge(??????), and iirc in Alex’s story they all just kinda. Walked through it. Meaning no one got here via spaceship. Which makes me wonder if maybe the Ark is something that’s in the process of being created so someone can go check if Cybertron still exists and if so what the state of affairs is there.

Actually it’d be a neat touch if the factions did arrive on their respective ships, but both were heavily damaged, and it’s only by working together (and maybe incorporating some Earth technology?) that they can use parts of both the Ark and the Nemesis to create a new ship for everyone (who wants to) to go home in. going back to the “please let the kids chill” episode ideas like it’d be neat to see them all visit Cybertron and learn about Cybertronian culture(s. please more than one im Begging. Different Cybertronian languages. Religions. FOODS. Etc.)

A lot of this is just going off of what Alex said way back in what, episode 1? 2? And we’ve seen stuff in flashbacks that contradict his story, so it’s clearly not the most reliable source of info – but it’s pretty much all we’ve got.

sdfdkjghfsdjklfh like they aren’t gonna be all over the morning news

yeah I was gonna say, he’s doing pretty well for having like. All his energon drained.

Btw I think Cybertronian languages really oughta have different words for like. energon (crystal/mineral), energon (beverage), and energon (blood). And maybe resolve the blue/pink thing by going with blue crystals (I feel like we’ve seen them more than pink ones?), pink blood (aka it’s definitely recognizable as a blood stand-in but is Legally not blood. just like Star Trek), and maybe bring back the rainbow for the beverage. You could definitely argue that beverage and blood could use the same word, but I feel like there should at LEAST be different words for different states of matter.

Speaking of, I don’t think we’ve seen much in the way of energon as a gas except BotBots (where it’s also plasma (?) since it’s shown as lightning that hits the mall, which is then filled w/energon gas. Also bring back BotBots Please. or make them part of Earthspark as a new kind of Terran :ssbenis:) and I think that one episode of TFA where Optimus uses Swindles boobs to teleport. Or maybe that was another space substance, I don’t remember.

Hm that’s a lot of Not Much to do with the actual episode and a Lot of me just coming up with my own ideas for worldbuilding sdkf;jhsdkjf. sorry.

I noticed it before but I gotta say I love the bit of graffiti that just says “queso”

ooh interesting. Something something the Terrans are the natural result of Cybertron and Earth interacting and they need a similar naturally combined source of energy to survive, while Mandroid is now a forced, artificial combination of Cybertron and Earth stuff that needs artificial energon patches to survive.

Side note but were energon patches a thing before Rescue Bots? I don’t think they were. If that’s true then it’s neat to see Rescue Bots original stuff becoming part of the larger TF mythos :D Makes sense given that Nicole Dubuc and others worked on both shows

side side note but how exactly did humans end up with control of the energon supply anyway. did they ever mention something abt agreeing to that in return for a planet to live on or something and I just forgor?

I kinda wish they’d built up the return of Mandroid and his collaboration with what’s-her-face a bit more, but I guess this in-and-of-itself is setup for season 2.

Yeah WHO coulda seen THAT coming 😬😬😬

Btw did we uh. Ever see the aftermath of Hashtag & co.’s prison break? We saw Skullcruncher getting dragged back inside so I think we’re supposed to assume everyone got recaptured, but given there’ve been hints at Soundwave and Starscream being up to no good, it wouldn’t surprise me if it turns out they got away.

Especially since she’s like “they’re all disposable” and there’s this dramatic reveal of Hardtop, Skullcruncher I think, and …………………a bunch of empty cells. lmao

I thought Jawbreaker was gonna get his altmode this season bc I definitely saw a leak of I think a rough animatic that showed what it was, but I guess that won’t be ‘til next season. When is that btw bc I Need it.

I don’t remember if I’ve mentioned this yet but I Love the facial animations in the show, they’re really really good.

#Earthspark spoilers #Chal watches Transformers

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alphawitchnyxx · 2 years

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6x04 Thoughts

Just had a chance to catch up with Monday’s ‘9-1-1′ and I have a few thoughts

- I think that for all the shit I see people give Buck about his ‘always say yes’ arc that’s happening, I think that it’s going to be a valuable thing. He mentions to Maddie that running into burning buildings is his job, it’s not a situation where he has to say yes or no, and I think that’s going to help put things into perspective for him. He runs towards danger without hesitation because it’s his job but when it comes to things that affect him personally he’s a lot more hesitant and this may help show some of that acceptance that it’s okay to be comfortable without pushing too many boundaries. - Seeing Eddie struggle as a single father and turning to his own father for support was great. We know Eddie and Ramon have had their issues but seeing Eddie reach out and hear them have that meaningful conversation about what it’s like to raise a son showed that they’ve both been growing.

- The sperm donation thing felt... weird to me. Buck has been clear since S2 that he loves kids and we’ve seen him interact with Christopher and with other kids and he’s very natural with them. I think that after all is said and done, I think he’s going to end up really struggling with walking away from the kid he fathers because he knows that it’s his and not being able to have a part in their life will hurt him.

- Hen deciding that she wasn’t going to accept failure and confronting her professor for a second chance was refreshing. I really thought that she was going to accept the failure and stick with being a paramedic because that’s what she’s good at, but I was pleasantly surprised.

- The dog was an interesting twist. As someone who has gone through some vet med schooling, dogs can overdose very easily and they tend to be way more sensitive to drugs, especially opioids. I’m glad that they made sure to ask how much Narcan to give instead of just guessing because too much Narcan could make the situation worse. Also, I love that Bobby just decided that the dog was coming with them, no questions asked.

- We have had Hoover Grant-Nash for five minutes but if anything happens to that dog I will fly to LA and personally yell at the producers.

#911 spoilers #911 fox #911 6x04 #animal instincts

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magnetothehedgehog · 2 years

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My posts and content

Sometimes I’m like oh man because I don’t get much interaction on my posts. Like I get it, I have a cap on my artistic ability at this point in my life and its hard for me to be consistent at stuff. Regardless of the mental issues surrounding that its a fact I’m not denying or faulting anyone for it. Not expecting a bunch of random people to take the time to interact or comment if they don’t want to. Same with friends. I mean yeah I know not all my posts or content is gonna be for everyone. And If my friends don’t want to comment or reblog or interact with that content whether it be me showing off ocs or anything else even if it kinda makes me sad sometimes thats their decision and I respect it. Its their choice to make.

But I’m not gonna play around it can be kinda disheartening to when your pals don’t ever interact much with your post not even a passing comment, especially when you are always trying to support them or their works or interact with them. I do get it comes down to personality types and its not to single any one person out. But its like wow I though you guys would nod at a least a couple of these things. Oh well...algorithm probably isn’t helping them find my posts. To their defence, they at least reblogged my commissions sheet when I needed it, so I can count on them when it matter in that case, which I’m grateful. I have become fully aware, and even more aware since twitter that probably most of the sonic fandom wouldn’t find my iterations/ideas for the sonic cast their cup of tea or even something they’d get on board with. Thats just how things are with the majority of things for most people I guess. But I really do feel like a far outlier a lot of times. Like their really isn’t many if any that have a similar idea feeling for the characters or the ideas for the series.

for some ideas I realize they’ve been done before. Heck IDW has done a very good job of incorporating all these random cool little details like I wanted to do, they even did the classic to present iterations using a classic sonic to modern sort of grow along like I had wanted to do. Well honestly they have essentially and continue to accomplish everything for the series I wanted to do.Even started trying to hone the sonic lore into one single timeline(which I was realllyyy trying to do). It feels great to see if but It also makes me feel a little sad, 1. because though small, I had the idea that I was novel in my silly little ideas and silly little things I incorporated from random sonic lore into the main canon for my series. 2. Because it kinda feels like if someone was in a group project and they all contributed ideas and you contributed ideas with your heart and you see the project presented with your ideas but you weren’t invited to present with the rest of the group and you don’t really get any credit or interaction or anything out of it. of course this isn’t the case because I’ve never worked with or been in contact with anyone at IDW in my life (to my knowledge) and although I’ve told tons about my story I the chances they went on to work at IDW are incredibly slim.

These are just my won gripes I’m working through. I’m grateful entirely for seeing them do such great things with the series and its been a joy to read. I just can’t help how I feel sometimes. Its like I’m watching them live a dream I wanted but don’t get to be a part of. But its true with all these mental issues, lack of resources and the situation I probably wouldn’t have had much to offer. Except lore master I think I could’ve maybe done that I’m very much into lore. But they only made it for people in cali and broke my heart :( if it was remote maybe I could have done it. Need to get me some therapy when I land a job again.

#author mumbles

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sameteeth · 2 years

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Ok. Mei meta time.

She totally gets delegated to the "support" friend role a LOT, which makes sense in-show for a lot of reasons - obviously a main theme of Lego Monkie Kid is valuing your friends and teamwork. Which is all fine and well, but it’s specifically shown that Mei, unlike Sandy, Tang, and Pigsy, NEEDS support but doesn’t always get it. In the episode Coming Home, Mei is visibly uncomfortable talking to and about her parents, and Sandy and MK basically invite themselves over. She gives in eventually because she ultimately wants them to be happy, but is clearly nervous and uncomfortable with them coming over. Unlike other interactions between MK and Mei where Mei picks up on MK being upset and tries to cheer him up, MK doesn’t really notice that Mei is upset (when she leaves to call her parents, he just beats on her character in monkey mechs and it’s Sandy who asks her if everything is alright, MK begs her to have a sleepover). HOWEVER. Mei also is very quick to shut down the idea that anything is wrong - she hesitates before telling Sandy what the phone call was about, and is quick to reassure him that house sitting for her parents isn’t a BAD thing, persay it’s just -

So Mei is very used to being self-sufficient, and is unable to reach out for help or even accept it, unlike MK. MK is very open about everything (until LBD, but we’ll talk about that in a different post) and very easily accepts his friends’ help. Meanwhile Mei is more reserved when she is genuinely upset about something, and doesn’t want to worry or bother her friends with her issues. This, in my opinion, probably is related to her strained relationship with her parents - she’s clearly felt out of place within her family, and as she says in Coming Home, growing up in what is essentially a museum is tough, especially as a little kid. I imagine she kind of had to figure a lot of things out herself, when her relationship with her parents is so strained - there’s a lot of pressure on her to live up to her name and be perfect, or flawless, or at the very least, incredibly tough. Dragons are very powerful creatures, and Mei is as well, but she has her own insecurities about her place in her family.

(s3 spoilers ahead)

All of this, of course, comes to a head in the season 3 finale, Samadhi Fire. Mei has not confided in MK about the vision (?) she had of the Samadhi Fire awakening in her, whereas it’s even implied that MK has told at the very least Mei about Lady Bone Demon - in Shadow Play, Mei makes a comment that MK has been training too hard and “It’s always ‘Mooooonkey King this, or some scary skeleton thing that with [MK] lately!”. So even if MK doesn’t tell Mei the FULL story about LBD, he at least tells her a little. (He could be referring to the skeleton he sees in Impossible Delivery, but that was in s1 so he’s probably talking about LBD.) But Mei doesn’t tell ANYONE about the Samadhi Fire stuff, even though it clearly bothers her - she is shown staring pensively at the first ring they collect once she has the vision when she touches Red Son, and seems scared when Pigsy mentions the fourth ring. When Tang finishes the ritual to reforge the Samadhi Fire, and Mei becomes (?) the Samadhi Fire, only MK is able to get through the fire to give her a hug. But as with any good fight, their interaction is both a plot point and a clash of ideology. MK is used to having an entire team of people backing him up, with minor hiccups of course, but he ultimately is able to put his faith in his friends because it’s something he has done over and over, throughout the series. But for Mei, this is the first time she has been on the receiving end of all this. She has never had an uncontrollable power within her that the fate of the world rests on, and she has never had her friends all rally behind her like this. And it’s not even all of her friends, it’s just MK. And while MK does support Mei and help her, they’ve never had a heart-to-heart where MK is supporting Mei - only the other way around. So she does what she is used to doing when something scary happens - she relies on herself. She choses what has worked for her thus far, and isolates herself to deal with this issue without potentially hurting her friends. It’s not out of pride - she just does what she knows. What she has done since she was a child and her parents were too busy to deal with bumps on her knees and emotions that were unseemly for a girl of her station.

DISCLAIMER: I am not saying MK is a bad friend I think he is a great friend !!! I just think Mei has some emotional trauma she needs to work thru and she needs to get better at accepting help and that kinda stuff bc ultimately I want the best for her !!!! Bc all the characters need to grow as people !!! bc they are all silly little bricks who have emotional trauma !!!!!!!!!

#mei lmk #mei lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid #canis writes meta #I JSUT HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT HER......... ALS:SDJ:SLDF #lmk s3 spoilers #lego monkie kid season 3 spoilers #MK IS A GOOD FRIEND HE JSUT IS A FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON THAN MEI WHICH IS A GOOD THING AND THATS WHY THEY REACT DIFFERENTLY #IM NOT SAYING MK IS A BAD FREIND IF THATS UR TAKEAWAY FROM THIS POST I AM BITING YOU !!!!!!!!!!!

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whiteqnn · 3 years

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PURE [4] - Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader

A/N: I’m back. Shout-out to my sister @mojajasnoscmrokirozproszy , who encouraged me into finishing this part.

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 5

PURE [4]

Corpse was confused, to say the least. He stared at the screen with his brows furrowed, not exactly understanding what just happened, or what caused Y/N to leave so suddenly. He thought they were all having fun, or at least that’s the impression Y/N gave while interacting with other players.

Was she just pretending she’d had fun when in reality, she didn’t want to spend time with them?

He knew it was none of his business. They didn’t even know each other, outside of these two short games they’ve both been part of. But Corpse was quick to get attached to new people, and Y/N’s sweet voice, her innocent demeanor, and pure personality made him instantly like her...

Perhaps it wasn’t exactly a good thing that he felt so worried when she left, given the fact that two of them have spoken maybe for a few minutes since they met each other. But Corpse couldn’t help it, and certainly couldn’t stop this weird feeling that something was wrong and that he needed to make sure that Y/N was okay. After all, he was the only one who knew that she left. Except for his audience, of course.

So the moment her white little astronaut suddenly disappeared, Corpse went on a killing spree. He didn’t even care about that whole finish my lyrics thing he decided to terrorize his friends with, he just wanted to finish this game and check on Y/N. It was obvious that she wasn’t telling the truth. Even though it looked like she was trying really hard to contain her emotions, he could still hear her quavering voice. It was too hard to hide, and he knew it firsthand. That’s why he made it his point to at least check on her.

“Jesus Corpse, you just went full berserk on us...” Felix murmured when the last person was killed, and Corpse could see a sign victory on his screen. It didn’t make him smile though, not how it usually would.

“It was great though! Let’s do it again, but maybe on the other map?” Sykkuno suggested, clearly very excited about this hide and seek game they’ve come up with.

“Sure, let’s get the first one maybe?”

“Actually, would you guys mind if we had a little break?” Corpse asked before they could start another game. “We’ve been playing for a little while now...”

“Ah, yeah! Bathroom break!” came Rae’s response, followed by a few hums of approval. Corpse sighed in relief. He was afraid his worried voice would draw the attention of other players, but they didn’t seem to notice it.

“All right, is ten minutes good?” asked Sean, and when everyone agreed, Corpse excused himself from his audience and muted his mic. He grabbed his phone and unlocked it, only to be hit by a sudden realization.

He didn’t even have Y/N’s number.

“Fuck...” he cursed quietly under his breath, running a hand through his hair. How the fuck was he supposed to check on her? He couldn’t use discord, he was still streaming after all... Maybe Twitter would work? Nah, she probably wouldn’t even notice his messages. What was left then?

Of course.

Sean.

Corpse didn’t even think about any explanation as he quickly typed in a message to the said man, asking if he had Y/N’s number. The response came almost immediately.

“Yeah, I have. Why?”

Okay, now what? He couldn’t just tell him what happened. Corpse knew that Sean and Y/N were close, but he felt like it wouldn’t be fair towards the girl if he told Sean what happened. Maybe she didn’t want anyone to know... Maybe she didn’t want to speak to anyone.

Him included.

But Corpse felt as if he had to do it because that was something he wished someone would do for him if the roles were reversed. To at least show that he cared, that she wasn’t alone with whatever it was that bothered her...

Was he being intrusive, for wanting to make sure that everything was okay? And what if she was totally fine and he’d just end up making a complete fool out of himself?

“Not that I haven’t already made a fool out of myself...” he mumbled under his breath, his fingers quickly typing the response to Sean. However, before he could finish it, the said man’s name appeared on his screen with an upcoming call.

It was so unexpected that Corpse almost dropped the phone.

“Um, hey man�� he said after picking up, his hands trembling as he tried to come up with some good explanation as to why exactly he needed Y/N’s number. “Look I-”

“Does this have something to do with her disappearance?” Sean cut him off, leaving Corpse with his mouth hung open, utterly shocked.

“I um- no. I just wanted to call her and... cause I don’t have her number...”

“Corpse, I heard what she had told you...” Sean sighed into the phone “I was flying around you after you murdered me.”

“I...” Corpse tried once again and again found himself at the loss of words. His brows furrowed suddenly as he realized something “Wait- are you still streaming?”

“I left for a moment to grab something to drink and call Y/N. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t say anything on the stream.”

Corpse sighed in relief. If Sean managed to somehow play it off, then his fans maybe haven’t figured out what was going on. He didn’t want them to attack Y/N’s social media with tons of questions she obviously wouldn’t answer.

“Do you know what happened?” Corpse asked quietly, hoping that maybe Sean knew something more that would ease his nerves. He hoped that it wasn’t anything serious, that maybe Y/N just had a bad day. “She left so suddenly and I got a little worried...”

For a moment there was silence between the two of them, Corpse impatiently awaiting an answer and Sean thinking about the right words... or wondering whether he should tell him the reason for Y/N’s disappearance in the first place.

“It’s- ugh.” Sean groaned, before letting out a heavy sigh “It stays between us, all right? I don’t want others to start texting her out of nowhere, asking if she’s okay. She would probably kill me.”

“Yeah, absolutely” Corpse nodded his head rapidly, even though Sean couldn’t see him.

“Okay... So I don’t know the exact reason of her disappearance...” he began, and Corpse felt his heart sink in disappointment. “But I have some suspicion.”

“Can you be a little more specific, Sean? We don’t have much time before the next game...” Corpse didn’t want to sound rude but he was slowly growing impatient, and even more nervous when he still wasn’t able to check on Y/N and make sure that she’s okay.

“She received lots of hate after our last stream.” Sean finally explained, although his voice sounded quite reluctant. “And when I say lots, I mean lots, Corpse.”

“What?” Corpse grunted, his brows knitted together in confusion “What do you mean?”

“Oh you know, man... Comments on Twitter, on her Instagram, even under her latest video...” Sean let out an exasperated sigh “Apparently, some people are not happy that she’s playing with us.”

“Why?” Corpse managed to utter, completely shocked at the news. For some reason, it was the last thing he expected Sean to say. It didn’t even cross his mind that someone as sweet and polite as Y/N might have to deal with this kind of issue.

She was always so kind, why would anyone hate on her?

“You know how some people act online...” Sean murmured, his voice clearly gloomy, as opposed to his usual cheerful tone. “They think she shouldn’t be playing with us cause she’s not popular enough. Some consider her annoying, not funny enough, and so on...”

“What does popularity have to do with who we’re playing with?” Corpse almost growled these words, feeling anger slowly bubbling up in his stomach. He couldn’t comprehend why anyone would act this way towards Y/N, towards this little angel as Sean put it last time they played, towards this sweet, innocent girl, his partner in crime...

“That’s what I told her before the stream” Sean explained with a sigh “And that she shouldn’t worry about what strangers think of her... but it’s easier said than done.”

“You think she received another text or something?”

“I don’t know man” Sean sighed “I tried calling her like ten times already and she didn’t answer. It’s not like her to leave so suddenly, without saying goodbye. I’m worried something happened...”

Corpse clenched his jaw, closing his eyes for a second. If Y/N didn’t answer Sean’s calls, why would she answer his? They barely knew each other, while Sean was her best friend.

“Maybe... I’ll try calling her?” Corpse suggested anyway, his voice low and almost shy. He figured it was worth at least a try.

Sean was quiet for a moment as if contemplating what to do. They were already running out of time, and Corpse didn’t know what to do. On one hand, he didn’t want to end the stream and leave his fans, he felt bad at the thought alone of disappearing so soon and disappointing them... But on the other, he couldn’t just leave Y/N like that. Especially, since as Sean explained, it wasn’t like her to act this way. It only proved that whatever happened was rather serious.

“Y’know what?” Sean suddenly said “I’ll give you her number, maybe she’ll pick up from you.”

“Thank you, Sean” Corpse said quietly, ready to end the call, only to be stopped by Sean’s words.

“Look... I know I shouldn’t be asking you to do it, but... could you maybe try talking some sense into her?” he asked, clearly uncomfortable with this request “I feel like you’d be able to calm her down...”

“I...” Corpse stuttered, running a hand through his hair “I’ll try, okay? I’m not sure if she’ll want to talk about it though, I’m basically a stranger, so...”

“Corpse, she agreed to join us only after reading your last tweet.”

Oh.

His heart fluttered with something that didn’t seem like growing panic. And even though his face was expressing his worry, his lip corners formed a small, bashful smile. And whether he liked it or not, his cheeks turned completely red.

“I’ll... I’ll see what I can do” he managed to reply, before ending the call.

Corpse ran a hand through his locks and down his face, releasing a heavy breath he didn’t know he was holding. He considered getting Y/N’s number a difficult task which, however, turned out to be the easiest one. Now came the real challenge. Calling her.

For a moment, he just stared at the screen of his phone, scanning the new message from Sean, which consisted of Y/N’s phone number. It looked as if he was memorizing the number when in reality, he just felt panic overtaking his body and complete chaos in his mind.

Let’s say she picks up the phone, and then what? Should he just say hi? Introduce himself?

“Hi it’s me, the guy you basically don’t know and who became paranoid after you disappeared from the game”

Yeah, sure. Perfect introduction for the pep talk he was supposed to deliver.

Why was it always that he acted almost as if on instinct one second, only to start having second thoughts a moment later. He couldn’t back out now when he had already got her number. Not when there was also another person counting on him. Not when he still didn’t know what the fuck happened, and for some reason was determined to find out.

And then was the problem of his voice, which suddenly seemed stuck in his throat. It was a very weird feeling, typical for one to get while being on the verge of a panic attack. As if there was a need to talk, but the body refused to. As if his vocal cords were paralyzed and not eager to cooperate.

As if it was him who just experienced something strongly upsetting, not Y/N.

Corpse fidgeted with his phone for a moment, before deciding against the idea of calling the girl. He figured he wouldn’t be able to utter a single word if she picked up the phone from the unknown number in the first place. If she did though, she’d probably consider it some misdialed call or some prank. Which was the last thing he wanted her to think.

Instead, he opted on sending her a text.

He sat still for a moment, thinking about a message that wouldn’t right away reveal the cause of his concern, but which would say enough to figure out who sent it. His thoughts drifted back to the game they were both playing, remembering his stupid comments and her gentle voice. His fingers typed out the message almost automatically.

“Wanna jump into the lava with me?”

He hesitated just for a second, before sending the text, his heart doing a backflip in his chest the moment he pressed the send button. Corpse gripped the phone tightly in his hands, his eyes staring at the screen and waiting impatiently for those three little dots indicating that the other person is typing a response to appear. He waited and waited, and a lump slowly formed in his throat when Y/N didn’t respond immediately.

Was he really getting paranoid?

Maybe he was just tired. Or she had a bad day. Or she just found this game boring.

Or she didn’t want to play with them. Or she thought his comments were annoying.

“I’m an idiot” Corpse muttered to himself and slapped a hand on his forehead, pushing those thoughts away. Deep down he knew that wasn’t the case, but the longer Y/N didn’t respond, the louder was the voice at the back of his head, telling him that her problems were none of his business and he shouldn’t be asking for her number in the first place.

But it was the right thing to do. He knew it, Sean knew it, and Corpse also hoped that Y/N did not perceive his text as some pathetic joke. He waited for a couple of minutes, before typing another message:

“I’m here, partner, if you need to talk.”

He felt the need to assure her that despite the ongoing stream and the other players probably already waiting for him to return, he was there for her. That’s what he considered the best option, not to force her into talking, but to let her know that she wasn’t alone. And that it would take just one word from her to make Corpse drop everything and listen to her.

After what seemed like an eternity of staring at his phone and analyzing his own messages, Corpse put his phone away, realizing that Y/N wasn’t going to reply anytime soon. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed in himself, and guilty as well. Perhaps it would be a better idea to call her, but at that moment he wasn’t able to trust his own voice. He thought about sending her another message but decided against it. Another new text was probably the last thing she needed, with her phone being drowned by hundreds of notifications from angered, and worried fans.

All Corpse could do was hope that she saw his texts and that she knew she wasn’t all alone. He sure as hell wasn’t going to make her feel as if she was obliged to confide in him. After all, he was a stranger.

Then again... sometimes to understand a problem and look at it from a different, new perspective, what one needed was, indeed, a complete stranger.

The next two hours felt almost like an eternity. And a complete hell to Corpse. He tried his best to focus on the game and interacting with his fans, but no matter what, his eyes would drift towards his phone every now and then. Hoping to see Y/N’s name pop up on his screen, with a message saying that everything was fine.

But then again... would it be enough to calm his nerves? Maybe she’d write something like that just so he wouldn’t worry. Just so he would leave her alone.

She might as well just tell him to fuck off...

The fact that he received so many notifications all the time, especially now, during a stream, didn’t really help. Each time his phone lit up with a new notification, he would crane his neck with the hope of seeing Y/N’s response, only to be disappointed when it turned out to be just some new comment or someone tagging him in an instastory. Something that usually made him really happy now was the reason for his irritation.

He couldn’t focus on the game itself either, finding it difficult to do his tasks and form some logical arguments during discussions. He didn’t really care, to be honest, when people threw him away almost at the start of the game. Winning or being the best Impostor was currently the last thing on his mind.

So when he said his goodbyes after the last round of Among Us and ended the stream, after thanking his fans, Corpse didn’t know what to do with himself. The game, even though he didn’t really pay much attention to it, provided at least some distraction from his phone, which was still silent when it came to Y/N’s texts. She either didn’t see them or didn’t want to see them. Corpse could only guess what was her reaction if there was any.

He’d exchanged a few messages with Sean though, the man asking about Y/N during the stream and after it ended. Corpse couldn’t stop the guilt from growing even more when Sean expressed his concerns regarding Y/N and her absence. He knew the older streamer counted on him when it came to checking on the girl, but, obviously, he failed at getting a simple message from her.

What was he even hoping to achieve in the first place? That she will text back right away, telling him everything that bothered her, confessing all her problems? He would have to be a total idiot to expect this girl to react to his messages.

It was all so overwhelming and frustrating at the same time that he felt almost nauseous.

Leaving his phone in his room, Corpse walked to his small kitchen to grab a glass of water. The cold liquid brought much-needed relief to his burning throat, giving him a momentary sensation of comfort. He tested his voice, clearing his throat carefully and mumbling some nonsense under his breath. A sigh left his lips once he realized he could talk again and this weird feeling disappeared.

He splashed his face with cold water and returned to his room, plopping down on his chair and giving his phone a quick glance. Perhaps he didn’t expect Y/N to reply to his texts at all because at first, he didn’t even notice her name on the screen of his phone. He looked back to his computer, almost out of habit, glancing between the tabs he had opened on his screen before.

And it struck him suddenly, making him almost jump out of his skin when he realized that she did text him back.

Grabbing his phone quickly, he unlocked it and opened the messages, almost hitting the one with Y/N’s name on it.

“Hey, partner.” was all the message said. And yet it made Corpse’s heart almost jump out of his chest, both from relief and a sudden feeling of panic.

She texted him back. Now, what the fuck was he supposed to do?!

He stared at her text for a second as if trying to convince himself that it was real and he didn’t accidentally pass out on his desk, dreaming that Y/N takes his comments and texts seriously.

When he came to the conclusion that the text was, indeed, real, and Y/N probably expected him to write something back, he thought about the best way of asking her what happened. On one hand, he knew from Sean what could possibly be the reason for her disappearance. On the other, what obviously mattered was Y/N’s version. How to get it out of her though, without being too intrusive?

Corpse decided that the best option will be to make some dumb, small talk, which would ease her (and his) nerves.

“Y’know, I almost didn’t manage to finish the mission without you” he texted her, concluding that playing along this partner thing would maybe work. In his text, Corpse referred to the one time he was the Impostor after Y/N left, and which happened to be completely boring without her running around “Had Toast and others suspecting my every step all the time.”

This time, much to his relief, the three little dots appeared almost immediately.

“I’m glad you managed to kill’em all nevertheless.”

He imagined her saying it with that sweet voice of hers, which made him snicker, whether he liked it or not. While thinking of some right response, Corpse couldn’t help but wonder how did she know that he managed to kill every crewmate during that round... she wasn’t playing anymore then, so that could only mean she watched his stream.

“Not gonna lie though, everything would go way smoother hadn’t my partner in crime left me on the battlefield all alone :/” he texted her back. Corpse watched intently as the three dots danced next to Y/N’s name and suddenly disappeared, then appeared back again after a few moments, only to disappear again. And for a second he panicked, that maybe this text sounded passive aggressive, or that it made Y/N blame herself for leaving the game...

However, when her response finally came, he realized he was wrong.

“Can I call you, Corpse?”

For the first time in a really long time, Corpse was so eager to agree on a phone call.

He replied frantically, telling her that of course, she could call him, and then waiting impatiently for the call. And when she didn’t call immediately, like he expected her to, he found himself wondering if she suddenly changed her mind and decided against the idea of calling him.

But then his phone buzzed and her name appeared on the screen.

The device almost flew out of his hands, his heartbeat quickening and a lump forming in his throat once again.

Relax, man. It’s Y/N, your partner in crime. You’ve heard her voice before.

But this was different. The circumstances were different and the reason for a call was different too. And now it was just the two of them, as opposed to a lobby full of friends. And Corpse tried so hard to figure out how to convince her that all the hate she receives on social media didn’t mean anything, that for a moment he forgot she was still calling.

He pressed the green button carefully, as if he was defusing a bomb, and found himself unable to utter a single word, just like before. There was silence on the other line too, as if Y/N expected him to speak up first.

So Corpse build up the courage and took in a deep breath, before letting out a quiet, almost shy:

“Hi”

The word left his mouth almost as a whisper, and for a moment he thought that the girl didn’t even hear it, but then her voice told him otherwise.

“Hey... Corpse” she mumbled. She sounded so different, almost as if she was sick. Her calm and soft voice was so quiet that Corpse had some trouble hearing her at first. She sounded so tired, so hurt, so defeated, that he completely forgot every advice he had managed to stock in his mind before this call.

“It’s good to hear you, partner.” he said after a moment, realizing that asking what’s wrong wasn’t the best thing he could do at that moment. He felt that she’d probably hung up on him if he did... “I didn’t think I’d hear from you after you aborted the mission.”

He heard her sigh out a laugh at his words, his tone playfully accusatory. The girl cleared her throat and wondered for a second, before replying:

“It wasn’t exactly my mission... And if I remember correctly, you were the one who broke our partnership, chasing me around the ship.”

He could almost hear the smile behind her words, which made his lip corners curl up slightly. He was glad she still managed to joke with him. It meant that, perhaps, it wasn’t that bad.

“Did I kill you, though?”

“You would if you had a chance.”

“I had plenty of chances Y/N, and I never took one” he replied right away with a chuckle. “I may be the murderer, but I’m no traitor.”

“You say that after luring me to that lava pit and killing me and Sykkuno? It was a trap all along, wasn’t it?” she asked suspiciously, but he knew she was joking “I bet you were conspiring with MrBeast all this time...”

“How dare you” he scoffed, trying to hold back his chuckle “I took you there cause it’s a special place, it was no trap! It just happened to be the wrong place and the wrong time...”

“Sure, partner”

“I’m serious!” he laughed “Besides - I apologized, and if I remember correctly, I think we both agreed that I jumped into that lava pit for you after all...”

“After they voted you off! You didn’t have any other chance!”

“Maybe it was all planned?” he said, changing his voice to more mysterious “Maybe I conspired with MrBeast so I could jump into that lava pit... and the only way to do it is by being voted off. So, either way, I kept my word.”

“Fine... whatever.”

Their laughter died down and was replaced by surprisingly comfortable silence. Corpse was happy with how the conversation started - he believed it would be easier for Y/N to explain what happened now, if she wished to explain, of course.

“Y’know...” he began after a second, deciding to change the subject and finally address the issue. “Partners are supposed to help each other... and be there when the other person is in need...”

He was careful with his words, being full aware that Y/N might find it uncomfortable to share her problems with him. He wanted to encourage her, just slightly, if his previous texts weren’t enough.

She sighed quietly and he could sense her reluctance.

“But only if the other person wants partner’s help.” he added after a moment, keeping his voice as soft as he could. Y/N didn’t respond right away, but she didn’t hang up either, which Corpse took as a good sign. He gave her a couple of seconds to collect her thoughts, before asking another question:

“What made you so upset, Y/N/N?”

He could hear her inhale the air sharply as if she had trouble breathing steadily. The line went silent, not that Corpse was surprised. He waited patiently, giving the girl the time she needed to decide whether she wanted to answer that question and what words should she choose if she did.

And when she finally spoke up, Corpse felt as if his heart could break.

“They are just so mean...” she almost whispered, her voice cracking. He didn’t have to ask whom she meant, it was obvious. “And I don’t even know why... I didn’t do anything to those people, and yet they are so mean towards me.”

Corpse hummed in response, allowing her to keep talking. If there was one thing he knew that helped coping with stress, it was sharing it with someone else. And even though he himself had a lot on his plate, he felt the need to be that someone for Y/N.

“I... I don’t want you to think that I’m some crybaby, who takes everything super seriously and can’t take a joke, but...” she stuttered for a moment and Corpse fought the urge to cut her off and tell her that what he thinks of her is the complete opposite. “But those comments... those weren’t jokes, Corpse. I don’t think anyone would find them funny.”

His heart ached at the sound of her quiet, weak voice. And then it angered him, that some anonymous haters managed to upset this cheerful, innocent person. How could anyone do something like that to Y/N?

“I... I’m sorry for telling you this...” she suddenly trailed off, sounding rather awkward and uncomfortable. “I shouldn’t be bothering you with my silly problems...”

“They aren’t silly as long as they are problems to you, Y/N.”

“Yeah, but... I’m sure everyone from the group has received such comments at some point of their career... or maybe they still receive them...” she murmured almost embarrassed. “Maybe it’s no such a big deal after all...”

“Let me ask you something” Corpse said, feeling anger bubbling up in his stomach. Not directed at Y/N, of course, but at the people who made her think this way. “Imagine that someone, let’s say me, calls you because of the same reason. Would you consider telling me that online hate, or any hate for that matter, is not a big deal? That those are just my silly problems”

She was silent for a moment, thinking about his question, and probably not expecting it in the first place. However, after a few seconds of initial surprise, she replied firmly:

“Of course not.”

“Then why are you trying to convince yourself that they are?” he asked in what would sound like an accusatory tone, but in reality was just his voice laced with worry. “There’s no such thing as a silly problem Y/N, as long as it bothers you. If you consider it a problem, then it is a problem. And the fact that other people receive similar, or even worse comments, doesn’t mean anything. Maybe just that they are longer on Youtube and they’ve learned to deal with this kind of stuff... And your reaction? It doesn’t make you a crybaby and please Y/N, don’t ever think that way about yourself.”

He said it all so quickly and almost on one breath, letting all his frustration out and trying to form his babbling into some logical statement.

“I understand what you’re going through...” he confessed after a moment of silence between them. “I know what it’s like to go through the ocean of positive comments and find those few which say something completely different... something that is meant to hurt you and humiliate you... Something that ruins your day, or even a couple of next few days or weeks... Something that completely overshadows everything else you’ve read about yourself. Something that people write from the safety of their own computers or phones, without showing their faces and remaining completely anonymous.”

For a moment, Corpse allowed himself to speak about his own experience, thinking that maybe when Y/N realizes that he knew exactly what she was dealing with, it would make it easier for her. “And that is the key fact, Y/N, that they are anonymous. They do what they do because no one can see them because it is comfortable for them to leave a hate comment and not face any consequences. Because they don’t have to face the person their hate is directed towards.”

“Some of the accounts were not anonymous...” Y/N mumbled, and Corpse could clearly hear that she was speaking through the tears. “People were using their public accounts, with photos and everything...”

“But let me guess, those comments weren’t even about your videos, huh? They weren’t about any of your work?”

“Well...” she whispered, thinking about Corpse’s question. “Truth to be said, no. Most of them just looked like some kind of a personal attack on me...”

“Exactly. It’s not even criticism, it’s just plain bullshit cowards are sharing online. They probably aren’t even able to form some logical sentence, they just combine some random words which are supposed to hurt you.”

“It works...”

“Y/N...” Corpse sighed into the phone, hearing her defeated tone. “Let me ask you another question, okay?” she hummed in response, and Corpse cleared his throat. “Tell me, whose opinion matters to you the most?”

“My friends... and my fans’“she said.

“Okay.. and whom do you consider your fan?”

“Someone who finds the content I create interesting and entertaining and takes his time to watch my videos.” she replied right away.

“Okay. Do you think that people who left those comments took their time to even watch your videos?”

“Probably not...” she replied after a second. “Look, I know what you mean Corpse... That I shouldn’t worry about it because they are not my fans and therefore their opinion shouldn’t matter... but that’s not the case. It’s the fact alone that for some reason people spend their time hating me when I didn’t even do anything to them.”

“You didn’t do anything to them.” Corpse repeated her own words in his deep voice. “And they didn’t watch your videos. It seems like they don’t have any reason to leave those comments, right?” he asked. “I know that it’s hard Y/N, I really do, but the truth is, you can’t really have everyone leaving positive feedback under your content... There will always be someone who will consider it a good idea to send you a hateful message, just because they can, not because they have any specific reason to. Now I don’t say that’s okay... but it’s in a way like some disease. The one there’s no cure for. Even though you can’t cure it, you can make yourself immune.”

“How, Corpse? How do you make yourself immune to messages saying that you’re a fucking annoying bitch, that you don’t deserve what you have? That you don’t deserve your friends, and you are not good enough to play with them? To spend your time with them? How do you deal with comments suggesting that you should go and kill yourself, because you’re not famous enough, and you will never be?”

Her voice suddenly rose, and Corpse felt as his heartbeat quickened with each comment she described. He gripped his hand around the phone, his knuckles turning white and his brows furrowing in an expression of pure fury.

He considered her words for a moment, trying to come up with the best advice, but realized there wasn’t any that would satisfy her. He could imagine the state she was in, she probably wouldn’t take any of his advice seriously. And he wouldn’t blame her for that.

“I’m sorry for snapping on you...” she suddenly said, her voice back to its soft tone. “It’s just too much for me to handle...”

“It’s all good, Y/N, don’t apologize. You have the full right to be angry and to show it. I just want you to remember that...” Corpse gulped the lump in his throat, feeling his cheeks getting warmer. “Those comments are not what define you. As a matter of fact, they’re not even about you. You know why? Because people who write them don’t know you. They don’t even take a moment to acknowledge what an intelligent and talented person you are, not to mention how kind... but I do. A-and everyone else too.”

She was silent for a moment, and Corpse panicked, that maybe he said too much, or made things awkward again. But then she spoke up, her slightly less weak than before.

“I suppose... maybe you’re right, Corpse.” she said, still sounding a little bit unconvinced. He understood, it was clear his one pep talk wouldn’t suddenly make her forget about it. It would be like telling a person with depression to stop having depression and expecting them to suddenly feel better. “Thank you. For listening to my pathetic babbling... and for not telling me to just pull myself together.”

“First of all, your babbling is not pathetic...” he began “Second of all... I know we don’t really know each other, but... If you ever feel the need to talk to someone, I’m here.”

“And for that I’m grateful, Corpse” she said, clearly smiling. “Sorry, I mean, partner.”

“Partner.” he chuckled into the phone, smiling from ear to ear.

“It’s getting late...” she yawned into the phone. “Sorry. I think I’ll go to sleep, I’m really tired...”

“Of course” Corpse replied, hiding the disappointment in his voice. He really enjoyed talking to her, just to her alone, but he understood that the whole conversation and the event preceding it probably exhausted her.

“Hey...” she suddenly said, and Corpse could swear that her voice sounded as if she unexpectedly became shy. “Um... it was really great talking to you, you’re a really good listener, Corpse.”

“Glad to hear that” he smiled happily.

“Um... would you mind if I called you tomorrow too?” she asked so quietly that he almost didn’t catch it, his breath hitching in his throat. “If you have time that is... if you don’t, or if you have some super plans, then I understand, it’s fine-”

“I don’t have any super plans, Y/N” he couldn’t help but chuckle, finding her nervous banter adorable. “Call me whenever you want.”

“Okay...” she sighed, almost in relief, but Corpse didn’t want to point it out to embarrass her even more. “So... let’s say, around 2 pm?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Great.” she said, her voice trailing off a bit. “I’m falling asleep here, Corpse... Thank you once again, for everything.”

“Anytime, Y/N.”

“Good night, partner.”

“Goodnight, partner.”

Part 5 coming soon. It will probably be the last part of this series, I’m not sure yet though.

TAG LIST FOR PURE IS CLOSED.

TAG LIST FOR CORPSE REQUESTS/OTHER FICS IS OPEN (if you want to be tagged, please send me a text)

@slytherin-chan @pillowjj @afuckingunicornn @love-and-virtues @ignooynim @crapimahuman @hannahjsworld @laugh-like-the-moon @fallengoddess772 @kingric03 @dolphinpink310 @paigeyisme @bunnychano3o @dxrtygxrl28 @z-nyx @baby-iyania @trashygeek @qmalley @yn-dreamlife @queenshadow142003 @daughterofsmokeandbone23 @my-little-art-world99 @yoongi-holland @rinarecommends @psychoticunicornsblog @goldensunshinestyle @unstableye @pastelvixenbeauty @weallneednamjesus @benakenalove @corpsesimpp @xenos-sonex @jellicorn05 @must-be-a-weasley-92 @keijikunn @infinitely-kate @thisshitisfuckingdifficult @summerbbygirl @mygirlviolet @eat-your-veggies @evans-dejong @jeffxx @weepingdonuthumancookie @myinnergayistakingover @i-love-scott-mccall @thecanterburywitch @annshit @blood-of-fandoms @namjoons-crabssss @guadu-chan @harleyharleycrow @stormyskys13 @soft4kei @ukai-hoe @that-chick212 @campcampie @cookiewhoree @ukiyolixx @princess-skate @newtaholic-staygold @unknown-and-invisible @cherry-piee @marvelenthusiast3000 @apples-of-february @lovelybrit @wineandionysus @faepetersen @vincent-stargogh @idalinette @ggsmashgg @browneyespinkhair @uwucorpse @fluffylittellama-blog @yoshigguk @queentorresstuff @becihadshawn @winged-reader @x3musicismylife @musubipost @missdox @honeyames @dark-o-room @izthefangirl @l0verl0ser @laurenfangirlsout @asianfrustration13 @hopelessfluff @sacrifice-me-please @stopicouldhaavedroppedmycrossant @sleepingalaska @strangenerdsstuff @otakuartist05 @blossom-702 @astream-ofconsciousness @mythicalamphitrite @infinitelycharmed23 @ s1utforfictionalcharacters @ abrokenlink @ lestrangeesme @laazullii @ avesagittarius @ smiithys

#corpse husband x reader #corpse husband #imagine #corpse x reader #youtubers x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband imagines #fanfiction

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herorps · 3 years

Text

shadow and bone and racism

shadow and bone just came out so i can now finally break my silence bc holy shit do they go ham on the racism and me being me, i just have to tell you all about it. possible spoilers and triggers for anti-asian racism and microaggressions.

to preface, i was very privileged to receive a screener for the entire first season last month and i was actually excited to watch it bc i have friends who love the books and the show piqued my interest since it was announced. and i also have to say that i never read the books and i probably never will ( tho i’ve been told i would like soc ) but i did like the show overall.

i think sab is a good adaptation and that the fans will like this show. i thoroughly enjoyed it and as someone who had very little to almost no knowledge about the books, i didn’t have trouble keeping up with the fantastical world.

however that doesn’t mean i can’t be critical of it.

i think the show can actually benefit from people being critical about it because so far, it feels like they took a very tone deaf direction and ran a marathon with it.

what i’m talking about, is alina starkov being half-shu.

now, i said before that my interest was piqued for this show when it was announced and one of the major reasons is the casting of biracial actress, jessie mei li, in the role of alina starkov. i can’t tell you how happy i was to see that a half-chinese actress was cast as the lead in a series based on such a beloved ip, especially since the creators of the show consciously changed alina’s ethnicity to be half-shu before casting calls were even sent out. ( for those of you who are also non-book readers, shu is the race of people from the country, shu han, and is based off primarily mongolian and chinese cultures )

so i was endeared with the idea that this character, that is coded white, was deliberately changed to be coded asian ( and coded mixed race to boot ) because the producers wanted to include diversity into the show. i commend that, i love that, i support that. but i believe the way they handled it, shouldn’t have been the way they handled it. and it’s because alina’s race is constantly brought up.

obviously of course race is going to be brought up at some point. alina in the show is surrounded by white people when we first see her, and her home country of ravka does have a hostile history with shu han----i get it. racism is going to play a part in alina’s story. but it doesn’t necessarily need to go so far as to constantly remind the audience that she is shu in almost every interaction she has with someone she meets.

and that’s a big part of the issue, is that nearly everyone she meets will bring up the fact that she’s part-shu. and a lot of the time, it’s said with hostility. now i’m not exactly sure if i’m just being particularly sensitive because of certain recent events, but the anti-asian racism hits differently these days. idk.

because that’s what it is, at the end of the day. it’s racism. alina is often the target of very hostile racism and it seems to mainly be directed at her character and her character only.

and honestly, on a surface level it makes sense, i sort of understand what the producers are trying to do. ravka has a turbulent history with shu han and were involved in wars with them and they’re often seen as the enemy so obviously that would affect a shu-mixed person growing up in ravka, a very white country. but on a deeper level, it reminds me a lot of the anti-japanese sentiments during wwii. the production team even created a banner that i felt called back to those anti-japanese propaganda of that era. ( mind you it was shown multiple times, in main focus, and acknowledged by characters that were coded shu )

but on the other hand, they’ve done a considerable job to diversify at least the ethnic makeup of ravka. there are black and brown grisha at the school and there are people of different cultures ( noted by costuming, etc. ) in ketterdam and there’s even a shu-appearing trainer that teaches the grisha to fight. so my question is, why is this very hostile treatment primarily geared toward shu people and geared toward alina specifically? it just doesn’t make sense to me.

and when i say it’s specifically geared toward alina, i mean that it’s very apparent that they’re targeting her specifically, because mal ( played by a possibly mixed-race archie renaux ) is also coded to be of mixed shu blood. while it is not explicitly stated that mal is shu, it is heavily implied that he is mixed, but he is never subject to the treatment that alina is, and the only times he is subject to racism is when alina is also present. in scenes where we see alina and mal as kids, they are often both referred to as “mutts” or “half-breeds”. but when they are older, only alina is continuously called those things.

this isn’t even touching the microaggressions she faces after she’s at grisha school and this one line that made my gut wrench so viscerally i had to pause the episode and replay the part so i could confirm what i heard. [ episode 3 spoiler warning ] i’m trying to avoid posting screenshots or from spoiling parts of the show but there’s a scene where alina is being cleaned up and made presentable by servants and one of them says “I’d start by making her eyes less Shu.” [ end episode 3 spoiler ] i don’t think i have to explain to anyone how offensive that is. and i understand that the intention was to show how racist this servant is, that the entire point of of this weird racism plot is to show how the people of ravka can be racist and ignorant, but to have that line be written by a white writer, approved by a white showrunner and said by a white character to the face of an asian actor/character feels very tactless. it feels like another antagonist alina has to go against is racism itself.

what also turns me off about this scene is that jessie mei li revealed that this scene is what actresses had to audition with. “...the sides that they sent for the audition, like Alina is talking to Genya and they’re talking about her eyes and they’re talking about her Shu ancestry.” having actresses of mixed-asian ancestry come in and act out that scene for white producers doesn’t really sit right with me. and i know that there’s an argument to be had about how it’s important to show the minutia of what it’s like to be ethnic in a world ruled by white supremacy and that it’s important to show how alina’s race affects her story, but i don’t think that going this far is necessary to the development of plot or character.

and i don’t personally know jml, i don’t know how she feels about the show apart from what she’s probably briefed to talk about in interviews, but it is perfectly valid for me to feel iffy about the microaggressions while she feels that it’s necessary for character development ( again, this is just an example, i have no clue what she thinks of the racism ). our experiences are different, our upbringings are different, but we’re both happy to see representation and i’m happy that she’s happy to see an actual mixed-chinese character on screen as the lead.

i’m glad that the producers were open to diversity and were open to making the lead a person of color, but it’s things like the treatment of shu characters and exchanges like “Tell her...Oh, I don’t know...good morning.” “I don’t actually speak Shu.” and “I didn’t know the Zemeni had such talent.” “She’s Suli.” ( zemeni is a race of “dark-skinned” people and suli are coded south asian/mena/wena so this exchange is just white people mixing the brown people up ) that remind me the majority of the writers and producers are white.

now i’m not saying that you should boycott the show or that this show is the most problematic thing to ever grace my retinas, because i really enjoyed watching it and i want to see what season 2 has in store ( more crows content please ). but, i want you all to please keep all of this in mind when you watch the series and think critically of what kinds of unconscious biases these producers had. you’re allowed to have nuanced opinions, you’re allowed to be critical of the media you enjoy so long as you understand where some people’s criticisms are coming from---where my criticisms are coming from. i just hope in future seasons the treatment of alina gets better and that she actually learns to love her shu side because otherwise it’s just going to be problematic as the show continues.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #six of crows

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gladerwolfstarkimagines · 3 years

Text

Unlikely friends: Imagine being Toph’s cousin and befriending Azula, much to the gang’s horror and confusion as it starts to become something more...

Note: The is loosely based on the comic the search which takes place after the tv show ended

Part two here

part three here

Your pov

You’d never been exposed to Azula much. Of course you knew who she was, everyone in the four nations did, but you’d never met her face to face. You only joined the gang after Zuko was firelord and so the first time you met her was when Zuko recruited her to help find his mother.

You were at the royal palace when Zuko revealed his sister would be coming on the trip with the rest of you. The others all gasped as a girl appeared beside Zuko but you just blinked confused. The girl in front of you was your age, average to small height and honestly just looked tired and worn down. You’d heard Azula had been locked up for a year due to her mental health difficulties and you couldn’t understand how the others didn’t see this all over her.

Zuko noticed you staring at Azula and realised you’d never met before. “Ow you don’t know each other....y/n this is Azula, Azula this is y/n Toph’s cousin”. “Hmmm a Beifong so not a peasant but earth kingdom scum is still earth kingdom scum” Azula replied glancing over you. “Azula!” Zuko snapped but you just shrugged “it’s fine, nice to meet you Azula”. Azula blinked at you confused at the notion any one of her brother’s friends would ever be pleased to see her. She stared at you before moving past you. “Sorry she’s....like that” Zuko commented and you smiled “no need to apologise, i’m sure after everything she’s been through this is hard for her, tracking your mother down...I bet she’s very nervous to be seeing her again, that’s probably why she’s lashing out”. Zuko frowned “I guess, I hadn’t thought of it that way...”.

Throughout the trip you had more patience with Azula than the others because you empathised with her. Yes, she was rude and snarky but you could tell she was only doing that to get a reaction out of the people she knew hated her. You’d grown up with difficult people who liked to annoy an reaction out of you (your cousin was Toph freaking Beifong) and so you knew they usually did it when they didn’t feel welcome or good about themselves. So you never responded to Azula’s quips about you or retaliated in any way and slowly she stopped. Soon you noticed you were the only one in the group who Azula didn’t rush to attack. She largely acted like you weren’t there but you took that as a good sign. If it was just the two of you she seemed more relaxed, less guarded and you were glad you had that effect on her. You wanted her to know not everyone hated her and apparently she did.

Obviously however Azula couldn’t just be alone with you the whole trip. She was surrounded by the gang who rightfully mistrusted and intensely disliked her. It was a stressful environment and you saw its growing mark on Azula each day...

You usually took the main night watch as you didn’t need as much sleep as the others and you’d noticed while everyone else slept soundly Azula would often jerk and mutter in her sleep endlessly. One night it was particularly bad. Azula curled up into herself and her mutterings sounded more like whimpers. You tried to ignore it and just focus on your book but after a while you couldn’t. So you approached her slowly and realised she must be having a particularly bad nightmare. Azula” you called trying to wake her up. When the girl didn’t respond you walked closer and knelt down beside her “Azula?” you called shaking her slightly. Azula jolted awake suddenly, sitting up so fast she almost headbutted you. She flinched away from you, fire at her fingertips before she blinked “ow it’s just you, what were you doing leaning over me?”. “You were having a nightmare I was trying to wake you” you replied and Azula glared “impossible nightmares are for weak people and children”. You laughed “no they’re not! Everyone gets nightmares, it’s not something you can control and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re weak”. Azula huffed sitting up and pulled her legs into her chest “well either way I wasn’t having one okay?”. You nodded your head raising your hands in surrender “fine”. Silence settled and you looked at her “well i’m going to go sit back by the fire, you can join me if you want. It’d be nice to have some company”. Azula huffed “no thank you” she said sarcastically and you shrugged “suit yourself but the invite is there”.

You sat down by the fire and returned to your book. You heard Azula shuffling around and after a few minutes saw her stand up and head towards you. You pretended not to notice as Azula got closer and only looked up when she reached the campfire. “Since you rudely woke me up and I can’t get back to sleep I’ve decided to sit here, there’s no point just laying on the floor”. You nodded your head “that makes sense” and smiled slightly. Azula looked down embarrassed but seemed grateful you didn’t push it. You sat in comfortable silence, only talking fleetingly and it was calm and neutral. Azula looked the most relaxed and normal you’d ever seen her and sure enough she soon fell back to sleep. You smiled and grabbed a blanket laying it over her. She may be difficult but difficult people were that way because they were hurting. You could sense that in Azula and didn’t want to cause her any more harm. You thought Azula could sense your intentions to her were different than the other’s and that’s why she behaved differently with you. Every time you interacted you saw more of Azula, the healthy happier Azula, but all the walls went back up as soon as the others were around. It upset you Azula didn’t feel comfortable with the others but at least feeling comfortable with one person was a start.

3 days later

You were finally only one day away from reaching the village Zuko’s mom was in and you all sat around discussing what to do next. Well apart from Azula, she was always made to stand away when you discussed plans, nobody forced her to but she felt unwelcomed so would usually go sulk out of earshot. It was decided you’d make the journey the next morning rather than arriving in the middle of the night. You nodded along with the plans before standing up and heading off in Azula’s direction “okay i’ll go let her know”. “Let who know?” Katara asked and you paused “Azula, she doesn’t know the plan”. “So?” Zuko asked and you hesitated “well shouldn’t we tell her....i mean she’s a part of the group now, she deserves to know what we’re dragging her into”. Aang nodded, Toph and Sokka shrugged but Katara and Zuko didn’t look convinced. “Fine i guess” Zuko shrugged and you nodded, going to get Azula from her stance by the woods. The gang all watching on confused.

The next day

You reached Ursa’s village the next day and found her home easily. She was thrilled to see her children again and the town threw a large party to celebrate the return of Ursa’s son the fire lord. You all attended and the whole gang looked so happy to finally be off the road and in a house, Zuko especially was in high spirits. He was beaming, a grin spread from ear to ear and you smiled to see he hadn’t left his mother’s side since he’d found her again. You saw Zuko’s family, his mom, new little sister Kiyi and stepdad all sat together and paused....they looked like a perfect happy family but someone was missing. You glanced around and saw Azula was outside, as far away from the happy occasion as she could get and was staring intensely at the surrounding scenery. You made your way outside and Azula jumped. “Only me” you said holding up a hand and Azula lowered her hands but her shoulders were still tensed “what do you want?”. “Nothing” you shrugged “just wanted to see if you were okay”. “Of course i’m okay” Azula snapped and you frowned. Over the period you’d spent travelling you’d seen Azula improve, she was less jumpy and agitated but the second you’d reached her mother’s town she was right back at square one. Her mother had been the reason for her initial mental breakdown and you were worried something like this could set her over the edge again. You knew Azula wasn’t one for small talk but wanted her to feel less alone so started talking to her. “You know I haven’t seen my family in 5 years?”. Azula didn’t attack you so you carried on. “They sent me to go live with Toph’s parents when I was 12 and I haven’t seen them since. To be honest it wasn’t a big move I was at Toph’s all the time but still to make it permanent... My father...he worked a lot so I never saw him even when I was home but as for my other family. My mom and I never saw eye to eye on anything, she hated all my decisions and honestly I think she was glad when I left...it gave her more time to focus on my brothers. Her favourites, she’s always preferred my brothers to me just because they’ll carry on the name or whatever”. You trailed off and Azula raised an eyebrow “are you actually trying to bond with me over mommy issues?”. You paused and rushed to explain you weren’t trying anything when you saw Azula had a slight smirk on her face and so you smiled. “Why not?” you asked “my point is, my parents were never there for me and I turned out fine! They only have as much power over you as you let them. Azula tutted “you should save the philosophy for Aang y/n”. You smiled “I probably should but all i’m saying is you’re not a product of what they’ve done to you unless you let yourself be, unless you hold onto that anger. I’ve forgiven my mother and father for how they treated me”. Azula spun on you and you jumped to see how angry she suddenly looked. “You expect me to believe after all she did to you, you forgave her? How stupid do you think I am?”. “I have” you said confused “I hold no anger towards my mother anymore”. “Well you should” Azula commented “she doesn’t deserve anything less”. You shrugged “maybe so but that anger was causing me way more harm than it was her”. Azula didn’t respond and you frowned. “I haven’t forgotten what she...what all my family did to me and I haven’t let them off for it, I set boundaries and refuse to let them treat me that way anymore...but I also don’t fixate over what happened, it happened, it was in the past and that’s where it should stay...that’s where I make it stay, I won’t let it take up any more of my time”. Silence settled and as time stretched on you stopped expecting a reply. That was fine with you, you just hoped any part of what you’d said had made Azula feel a little better. “I’m cold so i’m going to head back inside, you could come with me? I hate entering parties alone” you tried to joke but Azula didn’t glance at you. You shrugged and started back inside when Azula sighed and appeared beside you “come on then, if I must hold your hand with everything”. You grinned as you realised this was Azula’s way of saying she’d come back to the party with you. “But we’re getting food” Azula told you “i’m starving, that food Sokka hands out is awful”. You grinned as you walked in together “blubbered seal jerky, it is awful but it does sustain you”, Azula wrinkled her nose in disgust and you laughed. “I never figured you a picky eater”. “I’m not” Azula said defiantly “but i refuse to eat any animal’s blubber” she commented piling a plate with food. Not wanting to make her eat alone you copied her and filled a plate too. You found a table near the outskirts of the party and sat down together. Azula tucked into her food and you were surprised at her appetite though you knew you shouldn’t be. The girl was a machine of muscle and strength, of course she ate a lot. Still you watched impressed as Azula cleared her plate "you were hungry" you grinned and Azula smirked "why do you never believe me?". "I don’t know maybe your whole history with manipulation?". Azula’s smirk vanished and you worried you’d gone too far when she laughed. It was odd seeing her face contort into a laugh and her shoulders shake but a good weird. You liked seeing it and felt very proud you’d made the fearsome and dreadful Azula laugh. So proud you didn’t even notice that your and Azula’s table was getting attention.

Ursa’s POV

Ursa’s head shot up as she heard a vaguely familiar but sorely missed sound and her eyes landed on Azula almost instantly. Azula was laughing! She was smiling at a friend and appeared happy. Joy filled Ursa’s heart and she felt her eyes tear up to see her daughter happy. "Mother?" Zuko asked and she jumped. "Are you okay?" Zuko asked and she nodded "it’s just your sister...". "What has she done now?" Zuko snapped and Ursa shook her head "nothing! I just, i know i showed favourites and i always regretted leaving you both, i worried it would impact you both beyond repair especially Azula but then i saw her smiling...". Zuko followed his mothers gaze not believing her until he saw Azula beside you. His mother was right, Azula was actually smiling...well her form of a smile which was more of an upturned lip but still for Azula that was insane. "Who is her friend?" Ursa asked "she seems lovely". "Y/n" Zuko said confused "i didn’t even know they were friends" he was ashamed to admit. Ursa noticed and patted his back "i know things can’t have been easy and i’m sorry for my part in that but things can only get better now, for all of us" she said glancing back to Azula and Zuko nodded "apparently so".

Your POV

After the party was finished you were heading to your shared room with Toph when Katara appeared "y/n can we talk?". You shrugged and motioned for her to follow you into the room. She did and once inside you turned to her expectantly. "What are you doing are you insane!" she burst. You blinked "come again?". "Since when are you friends with Azula! Why would you want to be? What is wrong with you?". You took in the comments and breathed "erm...i guess we’ve become friends over the journey, i have spent the most time with her, i didn’t try to become friends with her i just talked to her and treated her like a human and it kind of just happened. As for what’s wrong with me....how long have you got?". Toph laughed and Katara glared "y/n this isn’t funny, don’t you remember all she’s done!". You rolled your eyes "ow yeah all water under the bridge...of course i haven’t forgotten what she's done but i have seen enough of her to know she’s just as broken as Zuko, she’s human Katara and she deserves the decency of being treated like one". Katara tutted "i don’t remember seeing an inch of humanity in her". "Well i’m sure if you start really looking at her you'll find it" you said sharply "now I’m going to bed so goodnight" and you turned away from the water bender letting her know this conversation was over.

Mai’s POV After Ursa had been found everyone returned to the fire nation to celebrate. Zuko was the happiest Mai had ever seen him but he wasn’t the only one who returned from the journey oddly happy. Thanks to her help Azula hadn’t been locked back up upon her return and she was freely roaming the palace. Old habits die hard and Mai found herself watching the girl who’d tormented her through her childhood and was surprised by what she saw. Azula had made a friend and one that actually seemed to genuinely like her judging by your smile. "So...Azula and y/n seem to get on" Mai commented and Zuko nodded amazed that this friendship had formed and that Azula was here at the party at all. He figured knowing their mother would be here she’d have run and hidden but here she was. "They seem quite close" Mai carried on "are they...is it more than a friendship?". Zuko paused "what?". Ty lee nodded "i was thinking the same thing, notice how Azula hardly looks away from her?". Mai nodded and Zuko frowned, clearly lost in the conversation. "I don’t know...i don’t think so" he babbled. Mai rolled her eyes at how clueless Zuko was "well is y/n or has y/n ever dated anyone to your knowledge". "No..." Zuko frowned. "They’re so dating" Ty lee grinned and Zuko frowned "are you sure? I mean my sister...date anyone?". Mai shook her head "you know she is a human being right Zuko? And an attractive one at that, i wouldn’t be surprised if she and y/n kindled something it's actually rather...sweet".

Azula’s POV

Azula had only agreed to come to this party because you were going to be here and also because she’d been assured her mother wouldn’t try anything with her. Still Azula had been apprehensive to attend and the second you left her side her suspicions were confirmed. She was ambushed. "Sooooo" Azula heard and turned to see an old friend? Ex friend? She still wasn’t sure but either way there was Ty lee grinning her. "Ty lee" she nodded at her curtly. "It’s good to see you" Ty lee smiled "i noticed you and y/n seem close". Azula raised an eyebrow, Ty lee was never good at being subtle and clearly meant something more with those words. "If you’re worried she’s beating you in the rankings of friendship you needn’t worry, you dropped right out of there the minute you betrayed me". Ty lee paused and Azula smirked "your face, you always were too easy to fool". Ty lee laughed nervously, Azula knew how to joke now? "But seriously what’s up with you and y/n? Is it friends....is it more?". Azula paused "more?". "Well you guys just seemed very close" Ty lee shrugged "almost couple-y". Azula paused, this was a new perspective for her, she hadn’t even thought about her friendship with you or that it could be something more....now the idea was there she realised it wasn’t such a bad one. She liked you, she thought you were nice to be around and funny. Not to mention you were beautiful and athletic. Azula thought it over while Ty lee almost burst. "So?" Ty lee finally asked and Azula paused. She didn’t want Ty lee to go around telling people before she even knew what she wanted so she shook her head "me and y/n are just friends". Ty lee looked disappointed "ow...well i’m still glad you’ve got such a good friend, you look a lot happier than i’ve ever seen you" Ty lee smiled and Azula realised she was. Even here at the palace where she had so many bad memories it wasn’t as bad anymore. Azula suspected a lot of that was because of you and felt a blush rise to her cheeks. How hadn’t she worked this out sooner?

A few days later

All good things had to come to an end. With the mission a success the avatar and all his friends were leaving the fire nation soon and Azula knew you were planning on leaving too. You were going to help the little earth bender with her school. Azula knew Toph was the person you cared most about in the world so of course you’d want to go with her but part of her wished you wouldn’t. She wished you had nothing to pull you away from her.

She’d heard from Zuko you were leaving soon and so she debated back and forth if she should come see you to say goodbye or just let you go. As the time trickled away and the day of your departure arrived she decided to just swallow her pride and come and find you. She found you in your room in the palace doing some very late packing. You had apparently just finished as she found you lining up your luggage for the trip. “Azula” you said happily spotting her and she couldn’t help but smile “hi y/n”. “Hello” you smiled “how are you?”. “I’m good, and you?”. “Great” you smiled “we’re all set to leave soon! I can’t wait to get home”. Azula nodded “I can imagine” and stared at the floor. “Is everything okay?” you asked and Azula tensed. “Everything’s fine I just wanted to say goodbye” Azula shrugged meeting your eye and smiling slightly. She thought she’d been pretty convincing but apparently not.

Your POV

"Azula what’s wrong? I can tell somethings bothering you" you said frowning and came to stand closer to her. You could tell she was nervous, something you’d rarely seen on the firebender’s face. "I...i was just wondering when you were coming to the fire nation again?". You paused "well i’m not sure honestly, i guess whenever the gang comes again, why have you got a big festival coming up or something?". Azula shook her head "no we don’t...". She sounded disappointed and an idea formed in your head, did Azula not want you to go? "The gang might be too busy to just swing by but that doesn’t mean i can’t" you said testing the water and saw Azula’s eyes widen and her cheeks flush slightly. "I think that would be nice" she said looking down and you smiled softly. Azula wanted you around! "Yeah?" you asked and Azula nodded "i guess i’ve become...accustomed to your presence" she said.

You almost laughed that this was what Azula thought was an honest compliment. No, Azula could do better than that so you prompted her.

"Accustomed to my presence?" you asked raising an eyebrow and Azula searched for words before sighing. "I like being around you" she shrugged going red "so you coming back to the fire nation wouldn’t be a bad thing i guess". You grinned "you’d cope with that idea?". Azula nodded her head still blushing "i would". You laughed and couldn’t stop smiling at Azula’s blush. "Well in that case i’d be more than happy to have regular visits, not to mention you can come visit me and Toph at her school anytime you want". "I can?" Azula asked and you nodded "of course! You think i’d leave you all alone with these firebenders and no escape route". Azula smiled at you, a genuine happy smile and nodded her head "that’s...thank you, i’m sure i’ll be taking you up on that offer frequently". "As much as you want" you said taking her hand "i mean it Azula, even if it’s just for a few hours or a night, you’re always welcome with me". Azula stared at you and wondered again how she hadn’t realised she liked you before. It was so obvious to her now, she only hoped it wasn’t so obvious to you but judging by the fact she had a permanent blush this whole time she wasn’t too sure about that. Azula nodded "thank you y/n" and you smiled "no problem". You carried on looking at her before blushing at your close proximity and stepped away. "So i best be going but expect many letters". Azula chucked and you shrugged "what? I’m not kidding? I love writing letters, you will receive many from me, once a day if you’re lucky". Azula smiled "i promise to reply to every single one" and you grinned "you better". You started towards the door and stopped to look back at her. "I’ve really enjoyed our time together and I just wanted you to know...i think you’re pretty amazing”. Azula blushed "thank you....you’re also very good". You chuckled at her awkward reply and smiled "all i meant was, don’t let anyone tell you you’re not good enough, from where i’m standing...that’s not the case at all, in any way". Azula’s face turned an even deeper shade of red and you smiled. "Anyway i’ll go now, bye Azula". "Bye y/n" she managed and with a last smile you were gone. Azula immediately felt a pang of loneliness but then thought of what you’d do. She took a few deep breaths and repeated what you’d told her. She was good enough, she was more than good enough, she didn’t need to be insecure or cruel. She opened her eyes, let out a sigh and turned to her daily tasks. She'd see you again soon enough and only 13 hours until your promised daily letter, Azula could wait that long.

____

I absolutely love this idea of Azula finding someone she can be open and vulnerable with and might make this into a 3 part series??

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letstalkabouttvshows · 3 years

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The long overdue Malex reunion , here some of my thoughts (it might get a bit long, but well, what can you do?🤷🏻‍♀️)

Was I surprised with the amount of progress we got in 3x08? Yes. Did I think the writers would deliver this Malex perfection? Not at all. At least not right now.

Did it make sense though? YES 👏🏻 A 👏🏻THOUSAND👏🏻 TIMES 👏🏻 YES 👏🏻

Here's the main reason: Roswell NM uses A LOT the off screen, fill in the blanks trick.

It has been that way since season 1. So much so that when I started binging the show, one of my first thoughts was: "They sure like to make the audience assume a lot instead of showing it"

Is this a bad thing? Overall, no. Especially when done it right.

Do I believe RNM should ease a bit on let the viewers fill the blank spaces thing? Yes. I think they should.

We are seeing right now how can it go wrong with the lack of mentioning Kyle, for instance. 💔

It just would be better for us, viewers, if there was a nod or something, and not just "ah ok, I'm assuming they all know already where's Kyle". Because people can assume right or wrong and that's where trouble lives.

Again, season 3 is so much better than the previous two when it comes to storytelling. They are fixing the mistakes of season 2 and they are delivering a main arc story that gets us hooked. Bravo! 🌟 To me, they are finally living up to the potential of the show!

But again, fill in the blanks is a thing with them.

So, when it comes to Malex being back, we have to see their story as a whole, since season 1 and not just the events of season 3.

It's everything that happened between them until now.

Luckily for us, the fill in the blanks exercise is much easier to do and to be convinced by it because:

Vlamis and Tyler understood the assignment

Props, props to them. The chemistry between these two is absurd. It's organic, they play off each other so very well and it shows ever since 1x01. Chef's chef's kiss 😘

Michael and Tyler clearly love these characters and love the story they carry. They are invested in telling it right and they do it effortlessly.

Malex doesn't need to have a single line of dialogue and we still can sense their deep love for each other.

To have this kinda of dynamic in a show it's gold. A story can be well written but can reach another level depending who is portraying it. It can be so much more, for the best.

RNM was perfect on the cast of the cosmic not-so-idiots-anymore love story.

If Malex is the fan favorite duo it is, it's because Vlamis and Tyler delivered and keep delivering on each episode.

So everything about 3x08 was a culmination of fill in the blanks, the narrative of 3 and a half seasons and everything in between.

>>>Malex wasn't rushed<<<

These two characters have been in love for 12-13 years.

They genuinely, sincerely, with all they have love each other despite all the chaos surrounding them.

They've tried to run away from it, tried to move on from it, and they still ended up heading towards the other.

Michael is in love with Alex. Always has been, always will. Alex is in love with Michael. Always has been, always will.

That's just the way it is in this little alien story. 👽

Alex poured his heart into a song because he has never been able to say the words. "Wish I found the words when we were 17".

Michael heard the lyrics but walked away because he still was a few steps behind Alex. Not in terms of love, but in terms of moving on from trauma. "Alex is past that. He's past you. He's past me" 💔💔💔

So season 3 begins.

A year has gone by and Michael was hopeful to see Alex again. He didn't walk away in 2x13 because he didn't want to be with Alex, but because he did. Alex, on the other hand, was trying to move forward since Michael left.

For these two cosmic idiots with no communication skills whatsoever, Malex was officially just friends. With tons of baggage, but just that.

The sadness in Michael's eyes when he saw Alex at the bus station with somebody else. 💔

Then, Forrest presented two options for Alex. Walk away from crazy discoveries or stay and go deep into DS. The minute Alex said "aliens?" We knew Alex reasoning behind the question.

He definetely would choose finding out more about the aliens his family was obsessed with. And he did make that choice. Because that choice ultimately meant and revealed he was not ready to walk away from Michael.

Michael, in the chaos of clones and family lineage, went to see Alex in 3x03 and harsh truths were delivered by Alex but, again, it was everything Michael needed to hear.

Even though we could see Alex was trying to hold his own when it came to Michael, in the end of harsh sincerity, he could not resist to say: "wait". And then, he gave Michael the push to progress.

They stayed apart, figuring their own things out. 6 and 3/4 episodes apart.

After a few days in Roswell time, their paths crossed again. Turned out they were working the same case, kinda.

And then 3x08 hit 🔥

They have been apart for most of the first half of the season and with two interactions full of tension. But the story that led up to 3x08 put things in perspective.

And Alex was the one to see it.

If 3x08 taught us something, it's that Alex Manes can put his emotions aside and see things with analytical skills.

With a psycho alien dictator on the loose and with an emotional connection to his cosmic cowboy idiot, Alex needed to step up to handle hot headed Michael and make sure he was safe.

He saw that if he kept defensive, Michael would too.

So, he let his guard down and told the truth. About DS and about why he joined. He knew Michael would listen if he was sincere.

"I did it for you. A world where you feel safe is not gonna built itself. So I had to try. For us".

Here is two people that know they love each other but they just don't talk about it.

He then used some words again when he had to make sure Michael wasn't going to let his emotions get the best of him.

You could see in Alex's face when he looked at Michael right before sharing the story of how he injured his leg that he had to share that one to make sure Michael would listen.

"I lost a piece of me in many ways [...] Guerin, you are the one piece I can't go through life without".

For somebody who could not find the words for so long, Alex finally found them 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

And then, he continued to do so when they were at the Pony, being open and honest about the machine and DS.

>>>1/2 cosmic idiot full circle complete<<

Now onto Michael.

We've seen Michael take huge steps to become better at living and not just being a pit of anger and trauma issues.

It started with "breaking old patterns", for a second went to self loathing again, and then took a whole force with "You decide who you are. If you give up, it's on you".

Michael listened to Alex and decided to be better for "the people that matter". It's not a head scratch to assume along the list of important people that Alex was on the top of it.

We saw Michael on a mission.

Apologizing to Rosa "I didn't think I should have a life if Rosa ortecho didn't". "Maybe there's hope for me too". Protecting Kyle. Working to keep everyone safe.

Michael grew.

And then, he found out Alex hadn't give up on them. He got to see Alex be vulnerable. He got to hear how Alex loves him still.

For a full day there, he didn't have to be defensive because Alex wasn't being it. Michael followed Alex's lead and didn't let his emotions take over him. He followed the plan. He trusted.

Thoroughout 3x08 we saw Michael be better for the person on top of his list.

With defensiveness aside, all Malex moments were gold and everything it should be.

But their last scene, at the Pony, was the culmination of it all. Of the weight of their story, of their growing and their time apart.

At the table, both Alex and Michael found common ground by being clear, honest and by compromising for each other out of their feelings for one another.

Alex by then had brought all his walls downs. His smiles and lightness said it all. Michael saw it. And Michael, well Michael, finally chose talking instead of assuming, accept help instead of rejecting it, work together instead of doing alone.

"Maybe it is". "I completely get it". "One mission at a time". "I'm looking forward to it".

But the last scene though, was them coming together and turning the page with a kiss that was as intense as it was soft, sweet, tender and full of longing.

They went cosmic ... again!

With "I'm confused, though. What mission are you working in right now?", Michael made his move.

He stood up, took his hat off and kissed the love of his life to make it clear that he was fighting for them too. With no room to question who has his heart.

>>> 1/2 of cosmic idiot full circle complete<<<

With sighs of wonder and smiles of relief, Malex turned a chapter in their cosmic story. 💜🌌👽🌟

And it made an universe of sense.

#Malex #Roswell New Mexico #Roswell NM #Alex Manes #Michael Guerin #3x08 #RNM

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momota-kaiharem · 3 years

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maybe this is just my kinnie speaking but i think a lot about the way that shuichi and maki interact with kaito. let me take an interaction from the talent development plan as an example.

just rewatching this interaction made me pretty mad again FLKJDSLKFJ i love training trio and i freaking love their relationship, but god, the way that maki and shuichi treat kaito here just drives me absolutely crazy, so let’s break it down.

i think maki is the more egregious offender here (because shuichi is a simp with manners) but throughout the interaction she’s very dismissive towards kaito, asking why he brought them out there (when shuichi says it’s something they do a lot) and then saying he was useless when he went with them to the novoselic, and saying he didn’t need to go along at all. but up until here shuichi does defend kaito a bit, even if it’s in a bit of a patronisng way (remarking that kaito “does this a lot” but “isn’t it fun” and remarking that kaito’s use on the novoselic mission was to invite maki).

and then kaito says that when he goes to space, he wants to see if he can see shuichi and maki from up there, which is a really sweet sentiment, albeit unrealistic. maki shuts him down pretty fast saying he couldn’t see them from that far, and shuichi says that he might be able to see the general region, and then kaito says that he’d like to take them up to space, and THIS is the thing that really frustrates me.

kaito loves shuichi and maki. romantically, platonically, however you’d like to describe it, it’s obvious that he cares about them a LOT. i mean, he tries to convince kaede to become an astronaut too in his ftes with her, but you could argue that kaito was trying to convince her to go to space because he really respects her (as indicated by the way kaito was the only one to consistently stand up for kaede through chapter one, and the way he was willing to fight the exisals to keep monokuma from executing her, and the way he was crying after she got executed... also he asks her for hugs a lot and it’s really cute kaito you simp ilu) so again, it shows, kaito says he wants to take people to space because he loves them. space is what kaito has always been most passionate about. it’s his longest standing goal and something he wants to share with the most important people in his life.

obviously he’s being unrealistic here!! but maki and shuichi have been friends with kaito for three years by now, and they should be used to it-- they are used to it, actually, as shown by maki’s response-- but maki’s response is mean!!! it’s mean. kaito shared a sweet sentiment about wanting to share his most treasured thing with them and maki responded by calling him stupid-- which, if you remember, kaito really doesn’t like being called!!! i’d go grab screenshots, but i don’t want to go sit and watch trials until i can find it, but often when kaito is called an idiot he responds by yelling that he’s not, and that he doesn’t like being called that. i know with maki a lot of it is just banter, but still, the utter disregard for kaito’s feelings just because he’s a hahaha positive himbo man hee hee hoo hoo is... ugh. it happens a LOT throughout the game and it’s really upsetting to me.

and then shuichi’s response is what really upsets me. i know it’s just meant as a tease, but let’s think about everything that kaito has done for shuichi and maki for a moment, here. sure, his practical abilities might not be on par with theirs. he’s not a detective and he’s not an assassin, so he can’t solve murders or fight off danger, but his EQ is INCREDIBLY high. he saw maki and shuichi, and he saw that they were struggling, and he decided to take them under his wing and help them to grow. he didn’t have to do that!!! he didn’t owe them anything. maki and shuichi could’ve grown at their own paces, of course, i believe in them, but a large part of their becoming more comfortable with who they are was owed to kaito’s help and love and guidance that he showed them over the years.

so the implication that kaito, an ASTRONAUT, would need them to go to space to save him, is utterly ridiculous. and mean!! it’s really mean. it implies that kaito is useless without them, that he needs them to go up there to save him (like they’re always saving him or whatever, which i find really stupid because there are absolutely no tdp events where they help him even SLIGHTLY) when he’s literally been training to be an astronaut and go to space for the last three years!!! it’s his special interest, and it’s so invalidating, to take kaito wanting to share that with them and imply that he’s useless at it, and that he needs assistance that they’ve never offered him because of it.

and maki’s response is really gross to me too, like kaito doesn’t have any other friends, which is totally stupid. i’m sure kaede would jump to his aid if he needed her, and gonta, and any other members of their class-- i mean, kaito is a nice guy!!! he helps people!!! it was easy to rally everyone in chapter five to save kaito because he was inspiring them!!! kokichi took him because if he didn’t, kaito would be there making everyone want to keep going. maki saying that implies that kaito is so annoying that they’re the only ones who would put up with him, that they’re these two skilled people who are just there because they pity him-- which isn’t true at all, i mean they’re totally talented but ALSO i know for a FACT that maki and shuichi really appreciate kaito, so why don’t they just act like it??

actually, i have thoughts on the reason why they behave that way. it’s something that happens a lot when you get comfortable with people. kaito projects confidence, this really strong, self-satisfied demeanour. it’s clear (or at least it seems to be clear) that he has a lot of self respect. so the teasing, to maki and shuichi, feels harmless, because kaito has high self esteem, he can take it. besides, he clearly has an inflated ego, right? so he needs them to take him down a peg.

except that’s not true, and you can tell that kaito has low self esteem because of what happens in chapter four. all throughout that chapter people rag on kaito, calling him an idiot, saying he’s useless during trials, saying shuichi is the only smart one. kokichi calls him an idiot and antagonises him over and over and over and shuichi NEVER sticks up for him, never once sticks his neck out and says “hey, i really appreciate kaito, and i need you to stop talking bad about him”. instead he just lets kaito fend everyone off alone, and of course maki doesn’t stick up for him either. that’s part of what fuels kaito’s turn on shuichi in chapter five. sure, you could argue that it was about gonta-- but shuichi also turned the tables on kaede, who kaito showed more consistent affection/respect towards, and he didn’t hate shuichi for that. no, the problem was that shuichi was getting all the credit and appreciation from everybody (which was fine!!! he led the trials) and kaito was getting dumped on over and over and over and shuichi was just letting it happen, soaking in all the admiration and letting kaito be called useless.

and i mean, that’d be hard for anyone, being called stupid over and over, getting forcefully logged out of the simulation twice, once by your own sidekick who didn’t even bother asking you permission first, but it’s clear to me that kaito feels inadequate, especially as compared to shuichi, who is so intelligent and composed. kaito projects outwards, he puts on this big grin and calls himself a hero, and that must stem from a place of insecurity. there’s no way that someone who gave himself a dorky title like luminary of the stars is super secure in himself and his relationships.

there’s another reason why maki and shuichi probably treat kaito that way, and that’s because when you respect and appreciate someone that much, and you struggle expressing it, struggle with vulnerability, it becomes... hard to express. maki hasn’t been close to someone like she’s close to kaito for as long as she remembers. she’s never had a freaking nickname before, i mean, her life is really sad. clearly some of the teasing comes from a place of love, of “i respect and admire you so much, you helped me come out of my shell, idk what i would’ve done without you” and not knowing how to express it. i’ve been there. we’ve all been there. when you love a person but don’t know how to say it, sometimes you just end up playfully ragging on them.

and that’s fine, if it’s two-sided. banter has to be mutual, it has to be something that everyone is enjoying and is comfortable with. you choose things that they’re not sensitive about, that they’re fine with you taking the piss out of them over-- that they take the piss out of themself over. but let’s think about kaito for a minute here, and whether this is really banter.

1. does kaito ever jokingly call himself an idiot? does he ever say he’s useless, or he needs people to save him, or he’s dumb? how does he react when other people do it to him? even when maki calls him a dumbass ingame he gets upset about it, but then he brushes it off, because genuinely being hurt over something like that requires vulnerability and kaito doesn’t really DO vulnerability lmao

2. how does kaito respond? does he tease them back? i think if this was a case of healthy banter, kaito would’ve gone with a jab of his own, like, “haha, you two are hilarious, you know you love me” sorta thing, and then moved on to talk about the moon like he does in his next line. he doesn’t, though, and you never really see kaito making fun of those two. he calls maki a coward in chapter three, but he’s just being honest with her, being blunt about her weaknesses to help her grow. kaito doesn’t sugar coat things, doesn’t hold your hand and walk you through your problems. he’s a tough love sort of guy and that doesn’t work for everyone but it does really work for shuichi and maki, to the point where both of them become pretty confident in themselves, owed at least in part to the way that kaito guided them through becoming the people they wanted to be. but he doesn’t really tease them, never calls shuichi out on wearing his hat (he doesn’t even notice it) and never makes fun of maki for being an assassin/having a kill count/whatever stuff they’re insecure about. of course he doesn’t! kaito is a good friend.

i think it’s important to mention here that kaito does respond with lighthearted indignation before he brushes it off, but i just don’t feel like this is healthy, two-sided banter. you see maki and shuichi acting dismissive of kaito a lot, despite everything that he does for them. he puts up with it, but if anything that just shows to me more how everything in the relationship flows one way. all the care, love, and respect goes from kaito to shuichi and maki. he takes care of them, he helps them, he doesn’t mock them. in return they tease him (even if their intentions are good!!!) and don’t ever really push him to open up, nor do they stand up for him when people put him down, nor do they particularly try and get him to be honest with his emotions. take chapter four, for example, after kokichi punches kaito and he doubles over, coughing up blood. maki and shuichi just buy that it’s a cold when kaito says that, they don’t push, even though they’re both clearly skeptical. respecting boundaries is important, but you NEED to push sometimes, you need to make people open up, because in that case kaito was literally dying, and he had to spend the rest of his life putting up a front.

i mean, even when he was dying he was holding back the urge to cough, acting brave and strong, putting on a hero face so that the two of them could go on to defeat the mastermind and focus on things that mattered. not on him.

i love training trio, i think these three work so well together and they can bring out each other’s strengths and weaknesses, but i just think that shuichi and maki do NOT treat kaito well, and unless he opens up and communicates about it, it’s going to lead to building resentments and an increased lowering of kaito’s self esteem. maybe this wasn’t intentional on the part of the game, but if it wasn’t, clearly it just shows that dr is incapable of writing healthy friendships. i’d love to write a character study someday about these guys, where kaito talks about his feelings and maki and shuichi realise they treat him like crap, but until then i guess i’ll just sit here and scream about it.

#kaito momota #shuichi saihara #maki harukawa #momota kaito #saihara shuichi #harukawa maki #training trio #ndrv3 spoilers #saimota #kaimaki #harumota #u know u know #can you tell that i think about this a lot #character analysis #relationship analysis

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river-bottom-nightmare · 3 years

Text

Nightwing 79 Review

i said i would and i will. i did like this issue! not as striking and attention grabbing as 78, but i think this issue was meant to be a foundation one, laying out the groundwork for the future. overall, pretty good. also there wasn't enough bitewing. as promised, overly extensive metaphors and me reading too much into things under the cut

i know i've talked about this cover before, but this particular thing is oddly important to me, so i'll talk about it again

this is me, once again screaming about how artists put nightwing in traditionally feminine poses and how every time i see it i just get whiplash. i mean, true, the main reason why is because nightwing is a so often sexualized character, and putting him in these poses just increases the objectification, which is a goal that dc producers have. but there are very few popular male characters that do this. the only one i can think of off the top of my head is deadpool, but that was so obviously a critique and a way to make fun of the media industry. when they draw dick like this, they’re being serious. they’re putting him in appealing poses meant to show him off, and that’s something that’s traditionally only been done to women.

it's a very direct and very loud breaking of traditional gender roles in media, especially for a character as high-profile and historic as dick grayson. colour also plays a factor in this. the entire background is pink. i was absolutely shocked when i first saw it, when the teaser came out, because i cannot think of any comic book covers of male comic heroes this high-profile where pink is even just prevalent in the cover, let alone the majority of the cover. the pink does look beautiful: it offsets and highlights the black and blue of dick's suit gorgeously, but does it with more finesse than orange or red. but the fact that the stylistic choice was made to accent and draw this cover with aesthetic and beauty in mind, completely ignoring traditional hard-set gender rules in art, was a conscious choice and one i wholeheartedly support.

just another example of the sexualization i was talking about. i remember seeing harley quinn in this exact pose in suicide squad.

so far, taylor's been pretty dead-set on bringing alfred to the forefront of importance in this series. he wants people to know how much he loves alfred's character, and how much the butler meant to dick growing up. he was dick's father too. but what i adore is how taylor managed to stress alfred's importance in a way that didn't insult or belittle bruce.

this is one of the best bruce and dick interactions i've seen, and it's done in one simple interaction. in this, bruce is tough and harsh. he knocked dick down hard, but then he reached a hand down and helped pull dick back up. let me analyze their dialogue for a minute

on your feet: this is bruce telling dick to get up. he's trained dick, he knows what the younger boy is capable of, he knows his limits, and he knows what dick can do. this is bruce telling dick i know you're strong enough to get up, so get up and prove me right

are you just going to knock me down again?: surface-level, it looks like dick's complaining. he doesn't like bruce's rough training, and he's tired of bruce knocking him down. but look at his face in this. he's smiling up at bruce, knowledgeable and a little hopeful. he knows that bruce is doing this to help dick better himself, he's completely on board with the rough training, because they both know the rewards are incredible. also, he's teasing. he's bantering with bruce. there's an ease in that joking statement, one that belies affection and intimacy. they've only known each other for a little bit, but they're already slipping into a close familial relationship.

it depends on how fast you learn: this is bruce bantering back. this is bruce not being a stoic, unfeeling asshole. instead, he's shown with the dry humor that a good batman writer knows is a staple of the character. he's teasing dick, telling him he'll basically whoop his ass if dick doesn't learn fast enough. it's incentive for dick to train harder, while also being lighthearted enough to tell dick that believes in dick and doesn't want him to push himself too hard.

gosh i love the titans. also it looks like wally's staring at dick's ass.

this was cute. a prod at dick's silly and playful sense of humor, while not dumbing him down for the sake of a laugh. instead, he's joking about food, which is stuff everyone jokes about. this is the kind of stuff that'll actually make me laugh, instead of just making me vaguely uncomfortable.

bludhaven's almost always portrayed as a cesspool of a city. and to be honest, it really is. but this panel gives the city a meaningful history, while also giving us a reason for why dick moved there.

it talks of a time when people still thought they could beat the monsters. that if they fought hard enough, they could win the fight. it was a tentative hope that you could always overcome hardship.

dick's little "i like that it's still standing" shows how he still believes that, despite what the rest of the world thinks. despite everything that he's been through, dick is still tentatively an optimist, and believes he can fight the monsters of the world and win. it's a beautiful testament to his character, and i'm like that they added his signature element of hope back in. it used to be what he symbolized as robin, and despite his growth and character arc from robin to nightwing, this is one aspect of robin that i'm glad nightwing still has.

remember when i said "things that make me vaguely uncomfortable??" yeahhhh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Shooketh Dick: A Sequel

(the expressions in this series are just,,,,on point)

this was an incredibly sweet and kindhearted thing for dick to do, but i found it kind of,,,,,,,,desperate? maybe that's just me, but let me explain.

dick's suddenly a billionaire, and he has entirely too much money that he knows what to do with. it's also alfred's money, what the man left to him, so dick forever links it with alfred. in addition to that, he's back and bludhaven and looking at it with "fresh" eyes. (at least, from a different point of view since he got shot in the head. then mind controlled.) he's desperate to do something with the money and he's desperate to help the people around him that so obviously needs up, so he comes up with an on-the-fly solution that's a little impractical and a little crazy, but it still helps and still does some good.

to me, dick seems a little lost. he hasn't completely found his balance yet, and he's trying to do things that will. he tries charity, because that's what bruce did and it's what he knows, even though he admitted that he always thought bruce could have done more as bruce wayne than batman.

they have a family group chat guys yall were right.

also, do i think that dick would ever actually get his wallet stolen?? no way in hell, he’d notice someone getting ready to pickpocket him a mile away. but i suppose it’s important to the Plot.

okay this is getting interesting. first blockbuster, now maroni (+ the weird heart stealer guy). i can officially say that i am intruiged

this particular artistic quirk is shown a lot in this issue, and from this art team in general, but i feel like this panel is one of the best examples of it. it was stunning enough to take up a full page, and it’s well deserved.

the way they show dick moving is absolutely brilliant. as a reader, i like seeing these smaller versions of dick getting clearer and in more detail as they come closer to the screen. not only do they show depth in the picture beyond what a simple 3 dimensional piece of art does, it also shows the passage of time.

in addition, it showcases dick’s skill. dick spots these mobsters running after a group of petty thieves. he then, and follow me here, leaps off the roof of one building feet first, springboards backwards off the side of the adjacent building with his feet, gracefully continues his backflip, rights himself, shoots a line with perfect timing: just in time to soften his landing but not slow him down, execute said landing on top of a moving bus, keep running on the moving bus without missing a beat, shoot his grapple, use the grapple to swing, use the swing to build up momentum, then use the momentum to deliver a powerful blow to the mobsters. and he did all that fast enough to catch up with the mobsters, even though he was a ROOFTOP OVER.

d a m n s o n

this panel, the very first in the issue, is also another example of that art style, but a little more distinctive. i love the way they showed dick’s different costumes through the ages, along with him simply growing up. it’s a little heartbreaking, but a lot uplifting to see how far he’s come. thank god he got rid of the red. now all we need is the fingerstripes, and we’ll be golden

discowing my beloved. also i can’t clearly see discowing’s hair but it definitely looks like it’s pulled back. it looks like he put it in a ponytail. guys. guys. dick had a ponytail omg.

he’s having a Hero Moment

are you talking about the city, dick, or are you talking about you? the kgbeast, the court, the joker. dick fell to each one of them, no matter how hard he fought. he won in the end, eventually and with his family’s help. but i think he’s feeling a little low, a little defeated right now. it’s almost like he needs a win, he needs to feel victorious, he needs to feel like he helped someone (hence the food and the hotel room), just because he needs to remember what it feels like.

these lines were supposed to resonate with you, and goddamn they did.

i looked at it from two ways. first, it’s the girl asking, begging nightwing not to hurt them. bludhaven doesn’t know dick the way gotham does, they’re still a little frightened of him. this child was brave enough to step in front of all of the other hurt and homeless kids and ask, to a strange man in a mask, if he was going to hurt them like the other men had. it’s heartbreaking, but commendable, and an echo of the city itself that dick’s decided to protect. they’re bloody and broken and terrified, but still gritty and brave enough to stare what they fear in the eye and ask it not to hurt them.

second, it’s dick seeing the question reflected in himself. recently, he got shot in the head and lost all his memories. while i think that the way ric reacted was a perfectly valid and human response to the situation, i think dick still regrets how callously and rudely he treated his family. then, he was manipulated by the court of owls, then he was brainwashed with a magic crystal by the joker. dick does have a guilt complex. it’s not a big as bruce’s, but it’s there. and right now, with this girl begging her not to hurt them, dick is probably thinking about all the times he hurt people, in control of his own actions or not, bc he “didn’t have a heart.”

little ambitious don’t you think, dick?

also just look at the sunset colours loOK at the they could not make this any more obvious oh my godddddddddddddddddddddddd

in conclusion, i need more of her

#dick grayson #nightwing #nightwing 79 #nightwing 79 spoilers #dc #dick grayson meta #nightwing meta #nightwing 79 meta #dc meta #river thinks too hard

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