#theyre all just drunk and insulting each other

[deadsnakey]

𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐘!𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 𝐱 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐱 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐄

ˋ°•*⁀➷fluff ೀ Headcanons. . .ᐟ 0.7k wordsᥫ᭡┈─★

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ it probably started with Theo and Matty being dared to kiss each other in truth or dare, sparked their bisexual awakening and then make out in a broom closet while drunk asf at a party a month later.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ from then on out, they started kissing just for fun resulting in feelings developing, then you came into the picture and y'all were really good friends and then confessed feelings to each other and now y'all are dating!!!

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ yeah y'all are like THE trio, being friends and while dating.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ They both wealthy asf, meaning theyre always getting you anything you want.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ Also meaning they spoil each other a lot too, sometimes ending up in them bickering lol.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ You definitely have scary guard dogs privileges.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ Very gentle and sweet, to you and each other only though.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ No one dares to fuck with you, but if they think they can get away with it when they arent with you, they are completely wrong. Theyll always find out.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ They both are really smart, so if you ever need help with anything especially school wise theyll gladly help you. Youre passing with all As almost because of these two.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ Lovesss late night baking. Like 1 or 2 am baking with you, its always so fun and filled with lots of laughter tbh and when they cant sleep and youre also up its a great activity to get tired out.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ If you have any hobbies like, painting, drawing, a sport, games, fashion, literally anything, theyll always encourage you and support it. Definitely loves your art if you do anything with creativity.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ Its obvious i think that theyd show you off but are also possessive and overprotective of you, especially at parties or in front of groups they know might try sum with you.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ Mattheo is a whore for scalp scratches, theodore is a whore for kisses.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ They both slutty whores for your attention.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ i think mattheo had to get used to being gentle or at least less aggressive since he didn't grow up with gentle or nurturing treatment. you and Theo had to kindly talk to him and let him know when he's hurting you because its never intentional; he doesn't know his own strength.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ but once he does start getting used to being more gentle he doesn't have to think anymore to be less aggressive; it comes more naturally now.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ i think Theo and mattheo love to team up on you just randomly.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ teasing you; especially in public. they even gang up on you to tickle you and bonus points when you're sleepy. they think you're so cute when you're sleepy.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ in love with your laugh, giggles, smile, voice, allat.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ dates are always fun for everyone, planned out and everything. if by chance at some point someone isn't haven't too much fun or sum that will immediately be rearranged.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ if you're more introverted, have anxiety, etc. they are more then understanding especially Theo, if your social battery is getting far too low just say the word and they will happily leave and go somewhere where you're more comfortable.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ these two are very playful, Mattheo is more shameless about it and wanna see you flustered, Theodore just likes seeing you get shy lol.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ do not even try to insult yourself in front of them, they will scold you and dog cuddle pile on you for hoursss, girlie good luck escaping.

᧔ ⑅ ᧓ if you cook, they eat yo shit like fiends who don't get fed at home. cookies? ten minutes record and shoved down their throats. chocolate chip brownies? devoured, shit doesn't stand a chance. they definitely greedy and refuse to share with anyone but you. they're constantly asking if you can bake them something and especially on a bad day.

[marleneismydopamine]

lily evans and marlene mckinnon

- Ultimate opposites attract

- Lily leaves little notes in Marlenes bag that can just say little things like “I hope you have a nice day” or its a long ass poetic speech on why marlene is the greatest person she has ever met and is so lucky to have her as a friend. When marlene finds those ones she has to leave class to go cry in the bathroom.

- “You had a crush on me?” “Of course I did. Who wouldn’t?” except it goes both ways

- Imagine, head girl lily Evans who gets the highest grades in her year, has like 4 extra curricular activities and has never gotten a detention in her life, is dating stoner girl marlene McKinnon who literally only gives a fuck about 2 of her classes + quidditch and instead of doing her homework she spends all her time delving into whatever hyper fixation that has her in a death grip atm

- Love each other to bits but would rather die than be in a group project together

- Lily is the person who helps dye the back of Marlenes hair if she cant do it herself

- Act like an old married couple even though they insist they aren’t even dating

- Marlene has adhd and struggles with executive dysfunction and so she usually does her assignments in a caffeine fuelled haze at 2am the day before its due when she finally gets the adrenaline kick she needs to start, but she always gets the assignment submitted (maybe a few minutes late but still). And this generally stresses lily even without the added fear of relying on this “method” for her own grade. Which makes her pester marlene and that annoys marlene (and makes her feel really guilty).

- Marlene will rush outside without shoes if she sees it snowing and lilies behind her yelling to remember her coat

- And then lily takes care of marlene when she inevitably gets sick

- Those friends who REALLY blur the lines of platonicness

- Totally make out when theyre drunk and they both have been in love with each other at some point

- When lily is ready to burst into a pile of stress because of the high expectations she puts on herself to get a good grade, marlene is always there to distract her by whisking her away. Whether its just to the kitchens to bake something delicious or to sneak out to hogsmeade for the whole night to wonder the streets, it cheers lily up so much and makes her feel sane again

- They are both super protective of each other

- It took a really long time for them to open up to each other. They were both friends with Mary first which meant they were usually around each other but they never connected because lily hated the marauders in her younger years while marlene grew up with James and Peter so ofc she didnt like that some random girl was talking shit about her friends.

- In 3rd year Marlenes mother got remarried and she suddenly got a new stepsister and was really nervous about it (because she only has an older brother at that point) and asked lily for advice on having a sister. Obviously she soon decided she did not want a relationship like petunia and lilys but did bring marlene and lily closer.

- Lily and marlene have sensory issues and they can tell when the other is overstimulated so they do their best to make sure the other is in an environment that accommodates to their extreme discomfort (but sometimes they dont have control over their environment and it eats them up inside because they know how terrible the other is feeling and they cant help)

- Out of all of lilys friends, marlene was the loudest and most insistent that lily stops being friends with Snape. She knew the affect he had on lily way better than others because marlene was the one who found her sobbing her eyes out after Snape insulted her in front of his new friends for the gazillionth time. She was the one who always listened to her explain whatever bullshit he pulled and hugged lily for hours while she mourned what her friendship with Snape had become. And THEN marlene had to listen to lily justify why she was still friends with him just because he apologised and claims he’s going to do better. She is the one who saw the full extent of snapes impact on lily’s mental and emotional wellbeing and she was aware of how Snape manipulated lily into thinking how he was treating her was ok. She had absolutely no sympathy for him and always supported the marauders when they pranked him (even if they did go a bit too far) and occasionally joined in herself.

- They have matching friendship bracelets that they got in 4th year. Marlene was buried with it on her wrist.

[toranekooo]

hai :3 ambrose directed me to you so. please tell me about lip/hiyo i love drama and discourse so much (non forcing btw)

みなさん、おはこんばんちわ !! my name is ess but u can call me vyn, maiko or secchan~ and i will be your announcer for today <3 ! today we will be discussing why i dislike lip/hiyo ! this is gonna contain a lot of buffers so i dont get caught up in the tags or the search results so um. im sorry if its a pain to read. please be warned these are MOSTLY personal opinions and i don't intend on infringing on ppl who do ship it. i do not care. simply DONT tag my shit as it and we're good ^_^ except ppl dont listen and i find it fucking annoying so. here's a full blown explanation i guess

first ! lip.hiyo is a ship between hi.yori su.zumi and the members of lipx.lip ai.zo and yu.jiro . hiyo/ri is their manager and she's a girl from the countryside who moved to tokyo to study and work on becoming a track and field athelete . lipx/lip are themselves. their relationship in canon is. friends at best. something else at worst. being the little shits they are, lip/lip are nothing short of assholes to hiyo.ri for the majority of their earlier canon interactions. she states multiple times in her stories that they make her feel stupid. while i do think they respect and care for each other as coworkers, i still dislike how they treat her as a person, especially how they put down her feelings. before and after her.oiku where hiyo.ri undergoes a transformation courtesy of lx.l dressing her up so she can confess to another member of the idol series, asu.ka kai.do (discontinued due to the collaborative project ending) — they continue to tell her that had it not been for the pretty dress or the makeup, she wouldn't be worthy of being called a heroine. she wouldn't be a "girl" in their eyes. which is where a lot of the ships stem from.

but wait! you're probably asking yourself, or well, me: "secchan-sensei! lipx.lip bully each other a whole damn lot too! they bicker and they insult each other! wouldn't this put shipping them in the same category as lp/hy?" excellent question! while i understand why people can perceive it similarly, there is one big difference. the idols and hiyori exist in an unbalanced power dynamic. no i do not mean that in a literal sense, but in a social, emotional sense. you said it yourself, lip/lip bully each other! theyre mean and rude and crass and jerks to EACH OTHER. there is a back and forth movement. they bite and bite back, so to speak. while with hiy.ori as you're aware, she swallows her pain and bottles up that sadness and holds back those tears, she never responds or insults them back because she's not that kind of person. above all things, hiyori remains kind to ai and yu but the fact that they hurt her in ways they don't even acknowledge are not mutually exclusive.

if you're familiar with hone.yworks lore, as well as lx.l themselves, you probably know at least an adequate bit of their trauma. to put it simply, a.izo struggles with interacting with women, to the point where he finds them difficult to be with. this is often translated to him hating women, so as an idol with a predominantly female fanbase, this is a big problem. this trauma stems from his mother, who for the greater part of his childhood, was an abusive drunk. not only that, his older brother, whom he looked to for support and comfort when their home life was at their worst, is a playboy who toyed around with women and relationships with hopes of avoiding the loneliness at home. while ken grew out of his issues and ultimately became a better person, his actions growing up had a significant negative effect on ai.zo . he isnt jUst a miSoGyniSt dear fuck

yujiro, on the other hand, is the stepson of national treasure, tamagoro someya, a master of kabuki. his mother, tae, married into the family and he has a younger stepbrother, koichiro. tamagoro very explicitly tells him that he will not inherit the kabuki legacy, stating that he "lacks beauty" and is half-hearted. this is despite the fact that yujiro pushed himself beyond his own strength, to the point of starvation and isolation, all for the sake of pleasing his father — who never intended to acknowledge him in the first place. yujiro remained inadequate, lacking, some part of him, despite his best efforts, would never fit into the beauty of the roles his father had crafted for the stage.

“Father is father, and there’s nothing I can do about that. I think he didn’t have a choice in telling me to give up…” “…Were you never allowed to stand on the kabuki stage?” “There’s no way he would have let me. It was only my brother who could have…” (That’s really messed up…) If he had no intention of letting him perform on stage, why did he let him practice? It was cruel to put so many expectations on a child, only to rip his hope away from him. (LOVE&KISS novel, Chapter 7) [1]

how is this relevant to hiyori?

then, we talk about the infamous hero.taru anime. now, honeyw.orks anime have this curse where they're either bound to flop incredibly or butcher the characters enough it appeals to a general audience and completely destroys their characters. the hero.taru anime was made to promote lip.x.lip and profit off their popularity in the idol genre showcase hiyo.ri's heroine story. the story spans multiple mvs, from h.eroine iku.sei keikak.u -> her.oine wa hei.kin ika -> her.oine tarum.ono . there's a general difference with as.uka being cut out and replaced with nagisa after he's finally released from the honeyw.orks basement. aaand i'm getting sidetracked. as someone who watched every single anime hnw has put out, i can confidently say...

her.otaru fucking sucks.

despite being an anime centered on hiy.ori's development as a heroine, it overuses fanservice and became a cookie cutter shoujo mixed with a little idol for the views. fuck, the main conflict was literally between lip.xlip's manager and their biggest fan who had a crush on aiz.o . DO YOU SEE MY ISSUE. ok that aside. the anime completely butchers hiyo's character by making her overly dependent on lx.l. not to mention the bathroom scene. ick. the anime also completely butchers lxl by erasing their issues and making them into "just backup male leads if nag.isa doesnt sell well" and he didnt bc he was there for one fucking episode . back to my point, the anime has a particular scene pertaining to their trauma, which i have elaborately expanded above, and dumbs it down to: [2]

bad, right? not the worst butchering of it yet. you see, SOMEHOW, the herota.ru anime made the already fucked hani.wa timeline WORSE by turning yum.e fanf.are into a song about hiyori. i'm going to start tearing and biting bc this frustrated me SO MUCH . yume.fan is a song of aizo and yujiro about their struggles as stated above, and yet it was percieved as a song made to make hiyo.ri fall in love with them.

god ok this is. incredibly long at this point but i have only pierced the surface. lets just get it down to brass tacks. i hate lip.hiyo.

a lot of people came out of hero.taru shipping lip.hiyo after seeing their relationship and interactions in the anime. people tend to ship them with hiyor.i because "sHe's nOt LiKe oThER giRls" . of all the things i hate abt lip.hiyo and the hero.taru anime in general, i hate how it ruins hiyo.ri's character. i hate how they refuse to acknowledge that she enjoys feeling beautiful, she likes being a feminine, she wants to be a heroine — her issues don't lie in her not being beautiful enough to fit in the heroine mold, but the fact that she can be heroine, regardless of how she perceives herself!

well, introspective reasons aside, i hate the ship on a personal basis bc i've recently found out most ppl who ship it are pushing to make people believe it's canon ? like who the fuck does that. ONE, hiyori does have a canon love interest, nag.isa shiran.ami. TWO, they have never even remotely shown any romantic interest to her ??? well fuck i mean if you count calling her derogatory names, telling her she'll never be a girl if she doesn't dress up, or saying she'll never get a romeo if she rejects nagisa counts as flirting then sure i believe you. THREE, you can literally ship it even if it isn't canon. there is nothing stopping you??? it's giving hypocrisy bc a long loooong time ago they were mad at ai.yuu shippers for continuously mentioning their parallels and the possibility of them becoming canon and they called them [BEEEEEP] . you get the point.

negativity aside, at this point i've probably put you through a horror. sorry about that. all in all, i prefer ai.yuu and nagi.hiyo over lp/hy. i dislike het.lip in general because why would you want to inflict this upon any girl. come on. they can do better. im kidding but you get it. ai and yu trust each other more than anyone, they are canonically each other's most important person, and they are equals in persevering to achieve their dreams. THAT is what yume.fan meant [3] . and i like n.ghy bc nagi.sa has had feelings for hiyori for years, even before she dolled herself up, even before she was a manager, he fell in love with hiyori, and no one else — because in his eyes, she's always been a heroine!! "zutto heroine da" - nagi.sa in heroine wa heikin ika [4]

in case for SOME reason this isn't enough, please feel free to peruse the following posts that expand on some particular parts of this: differences between the mvs and anime | the Trauma scene | yume fan.fare's meaning | personal thoughts 1 | personal thoughts 2

CITATIONS:

[1] LOVE&KISS Chapter 7 — translation

[2] He.roine Taru.mono! Kiraware H.eroine to Naisho Os.higoto Anime Episode 4

[3] Yu.me Fan.fare by LIP.×LIP

[4] Her.oine wa Hei.kin Ika by Su.zumi Hiyo.ri (CV: Ino.ri Mi.nase)

[pekodayz]

🌟😍💋💐💕☕️

offic- *gunshot* all of these will be that thx u.....

🌟: Who’s the tease in the relationship?

neither. theres something about them that makes it hard to make sexual remarks. oso calls aini flat in front of 5 ppl, aini makes fun of his boner at work in front of them too. they both start awkwardly laughing. scratching their arm. whole office laughs at them. oaky.. aini takes her break, oso follows. they start blaming each other on who fucked up the hardest, that was so embarrassing for them. ig when theyre drunk, oso would prob feel aini, just a bit. they agree on 5 secs, he touches her thigh, she touches his thigh. they get red and stop, busting out laugh and screaming. they walk home in shame.

😍: Name your three favorite things about your f/o

aini likes that oso is taller than her (4-5 inches), so she can stand behind him when they get caught skipping work, so he can get the blame. ough. ok she likes it when he puts his chin on her shoulder while she's staring at her computer. dead eyes. shes not gonna make it obv. nagging her to work faster, bugging her to help him with smth, can u print this out for me, im tired. yeah yeah. aini also likes it when oso uh persuades her to skip work, she enjoys being out with him for a day (even if that means not going to work, she doesnt care...she likes the company. secretly) aini likes that oso's color is red, bc she likes red too. they were like omg coincidence, pointing at each other uwahhh omggeee. then they argue on who owns it. whomp whomp.

💋: Where are your favorite places to kiss your f/o/where are their favorite places to kiss you?

they haven't kissed on the lips oughh. oso only kissed aini's forehead when she was sobbing for some reason and they were hugging. uh. even that almost killed them both. aini kissed oso's cheek once, as a joke. tsundere mode activated ew. i think aini had a fav spot, it would be her neck. oso would love aini kissing him just anywhere. thats not happening tho for either of them....unless theyre like drunk. super duper duper duper rare moment maybe. then they freak out. cooties. ewwww. then theyll prob be like...okay one more...looking stupid. shaking and sweating (fear), then they pass out.

💐: How did you two meet?

answered here :3

💕: Who’s the clingier one in the relationship?

both of them. cuddle when theyre on the train. (none of their coworkers can see them)uh aini lays her head on oso's lap sometimes....he strokes her hair or smth ugh. (they think this is what close friends do. to cope) aini has oso come over, they cuddle there, privately. ew......theyre arguing tho, so its okay. balances it out.

☕: How do you comfort each other on a bad day?

when aini is like super sad, oso can tell. since shes putting up a fake smug front. shes sulking all day at work aw. then when theyre walking out together, she cant rly look at him in the eye. trying to not cry like a baby to him. shes choking up sobs.. then she does. slams her face into his chest and muffle cries. he just holds her as she sobs and he says somethings to her.. big brother instincts isuppose. aini gets all weak mode and holds his hand, sniffling and stuff.

aini sees oso is dif. she knows he doesnt really like to talk abt his feelings, so she just has some mutual understanding with him. he knows. he doesnt snap around her, they go out for drinks. she doesnt insult him at all, he feels better eventually. he'll tell her some other time...

[prettylonelys]

If you don’t mind share the takes! I have all the time in the world

okay well uh we talked about it for hours so there’s no way i’ll remember it all 😭

but generally ->

we both think sobbe is the best evak and we think a lot of that comes down two factors

1. most of the evaks despite being teen relationships are taken quite seriously, which is totally fine and a great take and obviously we’re dealing with quite serious subject matter like internalised homophobia and mental health so that makes sense. however we both feel that’s what’s missing from a lot of the evaks that sense of like teenage first love giddiness especially for characters like the isaks who (cris excepted) are experiencing their first relationship that actually aligns with their sexuality. i think all the evaks definitely have moments of like sweet teenage romance but i think sobbe are the only pairing that really emphasise that and get it right consistently

- a lot of the credit for this goes to willem h who perfectly and consistently portrays a sense of like giddy happy wonder about sander from the very first moment they meet he seems so believably shy and awed and just GIDDY im gonna use that word 800 times because it’s true! you see it in the supermarket scene, at the pool, when he apologised to sander at the bike racks and ESPECIALLY during the cuddle clip and any scene where sander texts him it’s so clear how young and happy and in love he is that he can barely keep it inside which i really think is what a first love first crush should feel like.

- additionally i think they perfectly capture it in scenes together, first with the cuddle clip where they genuinely just feel like teenagers who are young and in love who can’t get enough of each other, and then again in the 21:21 scene which in most remakes is quite intense and it is with them too but idk something about the “stomme schoenen” and them being dumb and happy and falling off the bed feels so much more real and authentic than any more carefully shot love scene ever could. i also think the fact that they’re extremely touchy and down bad for each other once again feels extremely realistic for a teenage relationship. if i had to explain it i’d say sobbe get to be so immature (in the best way) and mature in equal measure and that balance is very unique to them (though not saying the other evaks don’t have that or aren’t these things just not to the degree that robbe and sander are)

and

2. the second reason we think they work so effectively is because they already feel like boyfriends. with a lot of the evaks even though they’re technically together during their seasons they don’t feel like a settled couple until the final episode of their season and then in s4 but with sobbe they feel like a solid couple from the second they get together and maybe it’s because we got so many scenes of them just hanging out at robbes, going to meet each other, texting each other etc etc

we both also really love robbe and despite the lack of religious trauma plot, we find him to be one of the most nuanced and interesting isaks

we both really love the way he’s played like he is arguably the least or one of the least “bitchy” isak characters (once again i love my bitchy isaks that is not an insult theyre icons) but robbe is played so different hes so interesting because he generally seems to care a lot about others feelings and is very very sweet when he’s being himself. moments that showcase this:

- him (as i interpret it) almost coming out to jana at the end of season one and having him apparently tell jens that jana kissed someone else in a moment of drunk regret that he feels openly bad about rather than as a calculated move like isak did and not blaming it on him being in love with jana

- him sitting down at the cafe with the girls in season 2

- him complimenting noor in the bathroom instead of insulting her like some of the other isaks do

- him not leaving the weed behind at the house for other people to deal with (i know this is more because plotwise yasmina wasn’t at the party but i think it adds to his character)

- him texting amber that they were going to the supermarket even though sander told him not to worry about it

- him sitting down and properly breaking up with noor

- all of this culminating with the reason him and sander staying apart after his manic episode having more to do with him wanting to do the right thing for sander and not wanting to hurt him (as everyone was telling robbe the best thing for sander was for sander to stay with britt and for robbe to stay away) rather than just because he was scared and unsure. which really makes sense with the way they had robbe and his mother have this really beautiful close relationship which you can feel the warmth of even though she’s never on screen which again thinks adds to his characterisation and what makes him such a good partner for sander because he’s really at his core gentle and patient and good (as we see in the ohn scene which in my opinion is one of the best remakes of that scene specifically because they go for something different)

also i think they did a really good job setting up his internalised homophobia like s1 and s2 make it so clear why robbes mindset is the way it is at the start of season three with having the boysquad be much harsher and more awful to robbe through out s1 and the girl squad laughing and gossiping about his potential queerness in s2 culminating with milan trying to out him in front of all his friends it’s so clear why robbe acts the way he does in season three though it doesn’t justify it. but having and isak deal with such an openly homophobic environment that extends even to his closest friends was a really different and in some ways more realistic choice

[solardick]

What i do.

But this is hell.

And of course. The indian speaks english fluently. He had a thought one day. And when i said. “Well, how am i supposed to know? Half the time you’re being a fucken idiot.” He laughs. Other times. He doesnt want to inderstand.

Im already dead man. Wtf do j care. I can do all kinds of mean rwisted shit now. Because im not going to be alive much longer somthey eont be any consequences.

They ve been doing this to me simce i was a fucken child man. Dame fucken tactivs. If fact its has my brothers signiture all

Over it.

My noose is ready and lovked on my door. All i

Need is a push. Theyre fucken wi th y hormaines for fucks sake s

Lets go

Back home and think about my asshole cause its the only thin gg i can feel. 24 hours a day. At leadt its not spwaking like a girl. With all that estrogen laced weed thyeve been giving ober the last several years.

Sorry ive never liked looney toons. I font have a sadistic sense of humour. Brainwarping children with violence and laughter. Degenerating the inner spyche to produce degenerating invclined offspring. And neither do i have beef with nature: “cuz nature sucks!” Lets all get high and touch thr moon and based or future generations eith ambitions to please the body over the spirit.

Ive come to put it all together. Over these years. This is the third reich. The nazies won. And all it took is 60 million lives to make possible. And half of those lives were russians. Didnt hear a single care in all of my education about world history.

Not enough russians lives were taken thoigh. So the north western idealogy is trying to side curb its way into foreign lands to take over and dominate the world. Nazies.

I wanted a job at the pet store or the art store so the pisces moon would have a positive outlet. And the at osphere would be calm and positive. But they didnt want me to. The plans are in motion to continue raping my existance.

Then on the brink of suicide, again, i find a roofing job serrounded by toxic, degen, masculine personalities. With thr exception of one. Theres not mych in the way of media that gives positive light to the masculine. Its all connected to hardship. And lack. And degen, tendencies.

And people have always taken it for themsleves to put themselves over me. That has been thr only reality ive ever known. I dont want to be alove anymore. Especially if i get treated and punished fir being how the world has always treated me.

Im not even a person.

Gay men, women, hetero’s, government bodies of people. family, friends. To a lesser extant. Going on 40 and people are stoll making decisions for my life. I dont get to make them. Because they do.

All the world has ever done is harm me. And im the bad guy. Growing up hearing all this shit about peace and love and the age of aquarius. Just to insult you. While your surrounded by Leos. And disfunctional familial habitudes. Watching sibblings go after each other and me with hammers and axes and shit. Giving young teenagers ciggarets and drugs. Purposefully rolemodeling bs cause its funny. Killing animals and pets. Burning down buildings. Driving drunk. Fag bashing, bigotry, elitism. Destructive habits. Bipolar eruptions of violence. Absenteeism. Zero guidance. No communication. Lack luster tries at it.

Over 30 years of that. Then battering after battering, year after year. Into a beligenrent mess of bs.

And now, years after being complety fucked with to the extreme. Theres an entire community of dicktwats fucking with my system, and sexually manipulating me. Into becoming a queer. And through right back into childhood and fortifying self destructive lunar habits. So they can all feel good about being superior humans beings. And quenching that demonic thirst.

Thats pretty ficked up man. Dont blame me for tending to phatasize about national destruction. Because its the maine theme of pop media.

Since birth the world has been nothing but a giant fuck you to me. Everythign in between in inconsequential on that regard.

This isnt the real world. Its a pre-life. Or an alter life if another being. Which is me. Experimecing this instead of that. To break it all doem. Its the only thign that makes any sense.

And then after at those places. I wanted to work at. Id need an avenue for physical work. So i would have been more inclined and have the motivation to go to the gym instead. But nope. I need to be sexually harrased by another girl and then raped into become a girl. Not allowed to be away from toxic intended people, playing to a script. Somim still sick. Not allowed not to be.

In all that darkness and negativity and entropy. Once the light is seen, a peace and normalcy is glimpsed, in the venusian qualities upon the face of a pretty girl. Drive me insane. With the desire for tranquility and good tidings. Motivation and will to produce good life. Comes over like an obseesion from desperation and lack. But they harm you all the while. Boices and shadowed faces hiding in the background in the crowd. The will to drop it. Isnt strong enough to hold. For what if. An accomplishment from something good. Would strengthen my spirit. And i could live again. Or for the forst time.

My life is little foot vs freddy krugger. But i come from the generation where horror was intwine with child phatasy. Theres not much defermeve bewtween land before time. The original. To a nightmare on elm street. Beyond finding the garden of eden versus just surviving the T-rex and still being lost. Comsidering im living on maple street. Is just another insult to being alive.

I cant afford a noce appartment. I live by myself and always will. An di dont make 30$ an hour.

In fact Ir wasnt far between watching land before time an dmy life going to shit.

Heres some dick, kid. And the entire world thinks its hilarious. Perverting children.

It should be manditory for all families to get psychologically evaluated every 1-5 years. Which i don’t understand all this pride about free health care. What health care? If uou can give an athlete 10 million$ a year. Im pretty sure you can find some funding for better health care practices.

Then the bs about national compassion and what woukd have a stringer expression in the masses knowing that these games to pay exorbitantly for is actually supporting their freinds and family and a better world jnstead of giving entitled assholes an easy life of luxury. If a movie actor cane make 60 million $ a film then wtf. Fuck tom hanks.

Too bad its not my thy hair that is patching. If it were a choice it be the other way around. Then it be more like the arms. With heavier forarm than upper arm hair. Am i right? Maybe i will do the ipl treatment. Then use the electro therapy to get whatever is left over. Leave the pubic region, the love trail and the fuzz on my belly. Insteas of looking like a satyr. You know since i’m a woman now. Nd it be sexy. Since sex is all that matters.

You should have seen the expectant joy on my fathers face while he was calling me a woman. That was like what. 8-9 years ago now.

His favorite song. Used to sing it around me all the time.

Dont have a choice i have to kill

Myslef.

I just want a girl whos loves sucking dick. So she can squirt over my dace as i stair up i to her browneye and ponder the mysteries of life.

No need of shame for the sexual appetite. Of dirty vs. carnal desire. I know most then some.

Fucken creep. Yeah, i am. I was. Will be again apparently.

I want a woman, help me feel like a man. Instead i have an entire community of smut peddlers.

Kings are ni longer bred. There is no ower to veto a way of life. It’ll just fester.

Pray ipon my god and see, i never stop burning.

Man, i feel like a woman. And along eoth it everything worth living for is gone. Intellectual persuit. Gone. Artistic persuit gone. Desire to sedate increased. Desire to socialize gone. Desire to produce. Gone. Desire to accomplish gone. Desire for further education. Gone. Desire for physical satidfaction increases. Women suck. Its a handicap.

Looks like i was born and bred for the sole

Purpose of being a slut. Something to be proud about apparwntly.

Mrystal is the closest thing. Though a lie, ive had to hanging out with a girl for over 25 years. Just toxic masculine and feminine personalities. Thats all there is.

Hard to live in your own head. When theres an entire army manipulation from the external. Been fighting it for years. Hasnt brought me in anything

Well shit. Hello dark side of me. Hows it going? You go n abe alright not being monitered. Not going to do anythignstupid now are you? Creep some people?hive my body full reign to the family demon. Become possessed. Give in to sin. Noones safe.

Why they want that. Fuck their dumb.

Too i secure to walk i to a bisy stire anymore. Back to where i started there goes 8 years of life.

Guess ill be dressing up as a souless demon this holloween.

Maybe i can pull card lettered И, centre it by maybe 8 other cards to be connected to. Maybe. See what influences bare upon it.

Do that while the world is busy olaying with my penis. Pervs.

Ger me out of this nughtmare. 40 years is too mich.

Theyre fucken kilking me and laughing at the same time. My entire fuckne life man this has lal it ever been.

What to say to the dictor in the shrinkwarf. I have an entire army of cocksukrrs raping intk suicide and indotn want to be alive anymore. Tired that already. Didnt do anythign. Half of rhem are probanly in in it anyway. Can youvexorsize this demon. Fucken ne since birth? Look how populous its become.

Die for what you belive is certsinky gonna happen.

Maybe one day i wont be thrown into an envrionemt. That is full of enemies. Or assholes who just oass it off their shoulder like it doesnt matter. Mothwr was good at that.

Oh you know its just him. Hanging out with a bad crowd. Instea dof being talked to its being talk about while your still next to the person talking. Noe like ive ever been treated as a person anyway.

Apparently im not allowed to have a job or any social connections. Not allowed havign want i need to live.

Only endless years of people talking about you than to you. Thats all its ever been. 40 years.

I lneed to leave. Byt noones going to

Help me so im stuck here being taped by fucken cocksucker s

Doni fo to work today or do it quit. And count down till im dead? Tough decision.

Dtarted crying again lastnight over how fucied i am.

Kife will always fo this to me. It always has abd it always will.

I have ti kill myself. Its the only way to keep wveryone feom interference with my lifw and forcing me to kill myaelf.

Quit the job and start passing out more cvs i can di that much atleast. Not that ill find a job anyway. Not one ill be happy with.

I deswrve to be raped into suicide foe being born. It only makes swnse

Indont know what not being serrounded by enemies feels like. Something that will never getnoff the bucket list.

I simt have a single cruel abusive bone in my body. Always strived for whats good. Fight agaisnt people fucken with me. They jsut fuck more with you.

So the reason i was born was to be bullied into suicide. So that my family can work out the demon.

They’re trying everything except giving me a substantial anount of money.

The anount of time, resources and man power to rape me into suicide is staggering.

Well rested for the first time in months. Almost died again yesterday. Spend the day half conscious, puking and depressed. Wonder what they dosed me with me.

I forgot what it feels like not fighying got tour life.

What s the point. Im being gorceably removed from the gene pool and im not going to accomplish anything thst will outlive my life and influnce the fallowing generation. Theres no poing being alive. Instead i was born so that other people can enjoy thrmeslve putting themselves over me.

I wush the same fate to all tour children. Thats all

Ive ever known. I cant even do anythign withmyself because thats my only life experiemce.

So i dont even bother trying and i just do this instead. Norn i to a world where not a single person has ever been upfront with you.

Hey look im dtill 8 years old being treated likedhit by my family. Hahhahab

Im afraid if a get a et soemones is judt going to kill again.

What about. Y brother he should be in my shoes. Guys a sexist, fag-basher, drunk driver, drug popping macho. Whis killed several of his sibblings pets. Gave drugs and ciggarettes to minors. Racist. Had. Apicture of the nazi flag accomanied with a sense of pride. Trashed every behical hes ever had. Put lots of lives in jeoperday. Broke peiples bones in highschool while fucked on chems and steroids prabably. It just seems to me that im being punished for his crimes. He gets to have a wife and a family. I dotn eant to be alive anymor e.

Well im ten years too young for hormone problems. What ghe fuck did tgry inject me eith? Not wven my “best” friend from going into highschhol would wven tell me.

I dont feel safe. I dint feel secure. Ive been co sysntky under attack fir years. Cherry was my last hope for having sonething that wasnt chaoctic in my envireibnent. Donething better, abseebce of bs. A perdon to comune with. Would havw dolved all my problems. Would have gotyen healthy. But, whatever.

Now my only motivation is to kill myself. All i can feel is my ass 24 hours a day and its dtiving ke tucken insane.

All the best partd of me are dying snd all thets honbs be lrfy over is bs. Fuckrn kill me already.

Just survive a while longer. Everything will be ok. You’ll see. You’ll be ok. I don’t waht to anymore. Theres nothign good for me

In life. Its just full of fucken evil. Theres nothign good init. Theyve just waste my life away framing me ip for bs. Whats the point

I just want to quit this dayrape job and go back to having nothing. Cuae whatever they gove me is fucken bs.

I just go around spending everyday likes everything i s ok and so do they, will they rape my existance. Sometime sinsnap becaus eof it. And then they just hurt me.

Im hust ehatever they say i am. Which i don’t know what.

Asked my mother for help one. While she was busy stairing off at nothing and she told me she didn’t care. Next thing i m ow my btothrrs trying to mill me with an axe. And i get kick oy tog thr house again. And now im here.

I dint belong anywhere and i was just born to be fucked

[leggo-my-aego]

i just want the bards and literate people in genshin to have a rap battle

[a-libra-writes]

Hello! Would you write about being in an arranged marriage with Tyrion but falling in love along the way?

Combining these together bc theyre similar :3

Firstly, Tyrion would be very respectful toward you and of you. He's not happy with the arrangement more than you are; he hates the idea of some lady being 'forced' to stay with someone like him for the rest of her life. Just thinking about your looks of disdain and discomfort, day in and day out, just makes him want to avoid your shared rooms and drink all day.

The fact you're equally respectful is a bit strange, and he overthinks and worries that you're putting on an act. It'll break eventually. The mask will crack, so to speak, and he'll finally see how much you dislike him.

It doesn't happen, though. You endure the court's whispered insults, his family's pointed insults, the stares and rumors. Regardless if you keep your head down or deflect gracefully, Tyrion feels responsible. He ought to protect you from the worst of it. He grew up with it, after all. You didn't, and now you're saddled with it.

He wouldn't blame you if you wanted to hide away. Both the Red Keep and Casterly Rock have a plethora of gardens, libraries, sitting rooms, riding trails, hunting and so on to keep you occupied. Tyrion figures a good husband ought to have an interest in his wife's hobbies (and sometimes he's v lonely and wants to speak with you), so he might ask to accompany you. It means a lot to Tyrion that you actually seem a little pleased when he visits, or at least content, instead of recoiling. He's a knowledable man so he can discuss your interests with you, and can even procure things for you. Tyrion wants you to be comfortable - again, at first it's from a place of pity, but then the pining and hopefulness starts... ...

(Tyrion wears a lot of his despair on his sleeve around you, especially when he drinks. When you take his hand and take care of him through the night, he just looks at you in shock and wonder).

He really really doesn't want to get his hopes up. It happened before.

A good opportunity for you both to get closer is when you took meals in the privacy of your room. No sniggering courtiers, no mocking family members. A good meal, easy conversation and a lovely breeze coming in from an open window. It's such a domestic, easy thing that Tyrion feels like he's in a dream the first few times.

Though regardless of any developing feelings, romantic or platonic, he does a lot to keep you safe and protect your reputation. That's always consistent, especially if you do the same for him. You both will start whispering snark to each other during feasts, or hanging back in a ball, getting drunk between songs.

Any talk of trauma or family betrayal he's suffered won't come up unless he's very close with you and trusts you, possibly months or even a year into the relationship. If you open up first, Tyrion listens intently and feels more protective than before. He keeps a mental list of people and family who have wronged you, and puts faces to names once he meets them. They don't know what they're in for once he's well and truly fond of you.

Progression of any romance will fall in your lap. Tyrion is anxious to trust again but also doesn't want to "frighten" you with his growing feelings. He second guesses all of your kind gestures and words, assuming nothing, so you'll have to be direct. And consider the time - if this is after Tysha or Shae... it could take a long time. Even putting your hand over his while you sit side by side, kissing him on the cheek or forehead, defending him to others... Tyrion doesn't want to hope and be torn down to bloody pieces all over again.

Obviously he tries not to wear this anguish openly, but ...

Overall it's a relationship many expected not to go well. It was a joke for courtiers to pass around, and for his father to get an alliance out of. As time goes on, people will begin to realize what a formidable duo you and Tyrion have become.

[prismatic-shard]

If youre taking requests, maybe Shane realizing gn!farmer is an old childhood friend he lost contact with years ago

Bonus points if theyre both are grumpy dorks lol

You want grumpy dorks, I got grumpy dorks B)

Shane and an Old Friend

Shane doesn’t really notice as first that he even knew you, you’ve changed so much!

Shane definitely changed too, it’s probably took you a minute to recognise him as well.

It was one night at the bar when he finally realised. He over heard you talking about something and he knew your voice.

He didn’t know how to approach you or how to excuse himself for never calling.

When him and Jas moved to the valley, that’s when his depression started. He never felt like coming into contact with anyone. He regularly just deleted random people’s numbers when he was drunk.

The only reason he did it was because he didn’t think you even cared about him still.

But here you were, right in front of him,

You finally talked to him when he realised he was staring at you. It was awkward trying to remember him.

It hit you like a ton of bricks. It was Shane! You two were super close in middle and highschool.

You went to all his gridball games! What happened? You never seemed to be able to get a message from him.

After the initial meeting, you two still had some of the same tendencies.

He was very cynical in school, and still is. He would complain about something and you’d give back some type of quip. He would just roll his eyes.

You two swore quite often to each other. Cussing each other out and yelling. It was all in good fun.

“Aye, what the fuck are you doing you dipshit?” “I’m doing better than you, fucking whore!”

Everyone in town is confused when you two yell insults at each other, but it’s the way you two show affection.

Regularly flip each other off when you see one another.

Shane still feels insecure opening up to you, a lot has happened since you two were in school together.

At the end of the day, you’re always there for him. He realises that and reminisces about long times passed.

Often times you two will drink together, it makes Shane more of a fun drinker when you’re around. Listening to the jukebox inside of wallowing in his sadness.

He becomes Gorden Ramsey when you get his pepper poppers wrong, you equally curse him back.

[f1-disaster-bi]

Hey, first of all I hope your sister gets well soon. For your headcanons: Mark and Sebastian “friendship” in the hangover au cause I am a sucker for frenemies (Brocedes and Nico/Kevin would be interesting as well) 😅

Thank you <3 She’s out of hospital but things aren’t 100%, and it’s very distressing for us and her right now because the doctors have decided that despite giving her a diagnosis, they are now not going to do anything about it and refuse to acknowledge it.

So I’m distracting myself with 9hr work days and asks! I’m so glad you asked these.

Hang in there, this is gonna be a fun ride 👀

Sebastian & Mark

Seb and Mark claim to hate each other, but in their early hangover club years, gravitated towards each other 

Jenson used to get jealous because before him and Seb, he had to wake up hungover to them cuddling

Seb could be found either 1. curled up in Mark’s lap, 2. drapped over mark like a blanket, 3. spooned against his chest

Mark insists that he hates Seb and thinks Jenson can do better, but drunkenly tells Seb he thinks he and jenson are the best couple he knows

They have drunkenly kissed.....more than a few times

Mark held Sebs hair back when it was longer and he got sick

Despite claiming to hate Mark, Seb is the one that always invites him place (and told jense that Mark should be his best man at their wedding)

Mark always remembers to bring Sebs favourite hangover drinks/snacks

Seb (secretly) considers Mark one of his oldest friends

Theyre nickname in the group is 'Old married couple' because they bicker so much

Brocedes

They had an on-off relationship that didn't become solid until around 2018 (they needed time apart)

No one can get under Lewis's skin like Nico, and Nico knows this

Nico has drunkenly fought people on twitter, Facebook, tumblr from secret accounts for insulting lewis

Drunk Lewis likes to create lyrics/poems about nico and stand on table tops to read them out

Queue Nico crying with embarssment and crawling under tables to escape while Lewis yells 'you can't escape my love NiNi'

Nico has told Lewis he loves his dog more than him, Lewis said that's valid

Seb has had to stop them adopting stray animals while drunk

Including squirrels, a racoon, a fox, dogs, cats and Seb is pretty sure one was a bear cub

To annoy Nico, Lewis just points out other drivers and tells them they have better hair than Nico

Lewis once cried because he called Nico princess, and then Nico said Lewis is only a Sir and not a Prince so he can't marry him

They don't propose to each other, they wake up the morning after Seb and Jenson's wedding and know that they want that too

Seb cries when Lewis and Nico ask if he will officiate for them

Kevin and Hulk

Kevin said suck my balls and Hulk took that as a challenge

This led to years of quickies, angry sex, tender sex followed by arguing because they 'hate' each other

Kevin isn't big on affection in public, but drunk Kevin's favourite thing to do is see how he can fit on, around or beside Hulk

This has led to: Kevin on Hulk's lap, sitting on his shoulders, Kevin squished behind Hulk on a couch with his head on Hulk's shoulder

Hulk when he wants Kevin's attention will just pick him up and carry him away (especially if someone if hitting in his Dane)

Hulk shyly asked Lewis to give him vegan cooking lessons so he can cook for Kevin

Kevin won't admit it, but he loves when drunk Hulk starts stripping cause he can sit there sipping cocktails and pretend to be annoyed whole ogling his man

Nico asks Kevin out by tying a little note to Elsa's collar after walking her and Zeus

Kevin slaps his arm because 'we're already dating you dumbass'

Next time they get drunk Nico excitedly introduces everyone to 'my boyfriend Kevin' while blushes and everyone rolls their eyes because 'we know Hulk'

Kevin and Nico both agree their greatest achievement as a couple is the time they got Max and Daniel drunk, in drag, and to a church before Seb manages to stop them

Send me headcanon requests for my au’s

[bbugyu]

for you + yoon jeonghan

everyone in his life described you as his weakness, and he couldn’t even argue.

part one | part two

wc.10234 (LMAO) | fluff, smut, humor, etl/uni!au, ~new relationship stuff~, gender neutral pronouns for reader (but they have a pussy sorry), vague softdom/brattysub dynamics (guess who’s who!), there are - count em - 4 different sex scenes, more bff!gyu, filth, language, you know the drill, reader gets a lil tender, so does han, *sniffles* they just suit each other so well, please use condoms

this is where i admit that i wrote 20k of enemies to lovers garbage all based off a single line in falling for u, where they say they meant to drink a coffee with you but they accidentally chugged it bc theyre nervous. yup! all this mess for that one line! this is incredibly self indulgent and i apologize but also i don't because i needed this

~

visual culture was your new favorite class.

while there was absolutely no trouble making time to spend with jeonghan, your previous meditation time served as an allocated two hours every week where you could just sit and mess around with the boy you had growing affections for. the two of you would chat in hushed tones as the professor lectured, jeonghan’s fingertips tracing invisible patterns on your thigh as you diligently untangled his headphone cord for him, his thumb nails having been chewed too short to do it himself. he would bring you coffee on thursdays, when it was his only class of the day but your third and last. the caffeine was a well accepted afternoon pickmeup, and he never let you go after class without taking you out for lunch somewhere, claiming to be celebrating the end of your school day. then you might as well just come over to his apartment, he’d tell you. his place was closer than yours, he’d explain, swinging your hand in his. you didn’t wanna say goodbye yet, did you? afterall, the night’s still young, he’d tease, luring you with the promise of kisses between droopy eyed smiles.

jeonghan had become the complete opposite of your initial impression. he was sweet to you, genuinely, and if you liked him any less, you would say he was obsessed. you do say that, occasionally, when you’re hanging out with your friends and he texts you some purposefully cheesy line knowing it would make you roll your eyes, forcing you to mention him to your questioning friends, but you never truly meant it. you’d be a liar if you said every eye roll wasn’t just to cover up the faint feeling of butterflies in your gut. he always knew exactly how to make you want to see him, and you never hesitated to tell him when you did.

on one such day, when you had told him that if you went home you would need him to drive you into the woods and help you dig your roommate a clandestine grave, he stopped by your friend’s apartment after a shift, waiting dutifully by the door with his shoes still on and his hands shoved into his jean pockets as you searched the kitchen counter for your keys.

“serious, mingyu, what did you do with them? i know i left them next to the toaster.”

“i used your bottle opener, but i swear i put them on the coffee table,” he said, pushing back his hair as he looked around the small living room.

jeonghan watched you and mingyu tear apart the couch, trying to ignore the roommate that was leaning against the wall, eyeing him.

“where do you live?”

jeonghan blinked and looked at him. “uh, my apartment’s a couple streets over and a few-”

“roommates?” minghao watched as the older straightened his spine involuntarily, arms folded across his chest as he appraised his friend’s new chew toy.

“yeah, three,” he responded. minghao kept eyeing him. he fidgeted under the gaze, then coughed to clear his throat. for some reason unknown to even him, he said “they’re good people,” as though he was seeking some kind of approval.

minghao nodded slowly. “they act tough but they’re not. if you break their heart, i’ll break you.”

“what?”

“y/n,” he said, causing you to perk your head up from across the room while simultaneously clarifying. he lifted his hand and jangled your keys, holding them by the novelty hulk fist bottle opener. “found ‘em.”

“jesus christ, myungho, you had them the whole time?” you exhaled sharply, shoving a couch cushion back where it was meant to be. “don’t be a prick.”

you snagged the keys from him and shoved your feet into your shoes, taking the bag that jeonghan was holding for you.

“wo ai ni.”

you batted at minghao’s arm. “yeah, whatever. love you, too. see you guys later?”

mingyu threw up a peace sign from the couch, where he had promptly laid himself out after the search for keys had ceased, and minghao smiled as he waved you off and closed the door behind you.

you asked how work was, and jeonghan sighed, describing it shortly as work, but said he was glad it was over so that he could spend some time with you.

you giggled, knocking shoulders and slyly lacing your fingers between his. “cheesy.”

he gave you your favorite sideways smile, though he didn’t know it was your favorite, and you, again, ignored the flitting in your stomach that he always seemed to cause. “so, uh… myungho…”

you exhaled. “what did he say to you?”

“nothing, really,” he said quickly, knowing you would get mad at your friend if he told you the full truth. “i was just kind of curious if you two had ever, y'know…”

you looked at jeonghan. “you’re not jealous, are you?”

he looked back. “i don’t have reason to be, do i?”

“of course not,” you said, pulling your bag up on your shoulder. “i’ve kissed hao once, on a drunk dare, and we both agreed to never try it again. he’s like a brother.”

jeonghan nodded, thinking about the protective stance the tall lean man had taken when he tried (and maybe succeeded, though jeonghan would never admit it) to intimidate him. no matter the vibe he got, he trusted you, and he understood the intent - however, you made him want to do everything in his power to keep you happy, so he didn’t think this myungho character had much to worry about.

“oh my god, hannie,” you gripped his hand tighter, your other hand clutching his elbow. “look at that dog.”

he laughed and followed your gaze across the street to the pom that was nose up, walking beside its owner. “cute.”

“isn’t it?” you sighed. “god, i want a dog. i hate living in a dorm. i hate my roommate.”

“move out, then.”

“and go where? back to my parents’ place?”

he rolled his eyes. “into the apartment you practically live at anyways.”

“dumb, dumber, and dumbest?” you scoffed. “i would kill all three of them in under a week.”

jeonghan wondered which was which, then pushed the temptation to mention his idea of you living with him out of his brain. “sounds like you’re shit outta luck.”

you sighed, craning your neck to steal a look at the dog again. “i guess you’ll just have to get a dog for me.”

he smiled back, eyes lingering on your face even after your gaze went back to the scenery. “i have a question.”

you blinked at him. “yes?”

he watched a cloud for a second. “what do you call me?”

“hannie.”

he laughed. “i mean to your friends.”

you eyed him sideways. “are you trying to trick me into calling you my boyfriend?”

he eyed you back, a smile teasing his lips. “are you admitting that you call me your boyfriend?”

“what do you call me to your friends, then?”

“y/n.”

you rolled your eyes. “you’re the most annoying person i’ve ever met.”

“woooow,” he went, sighing and pulling his hand from yours to shove it in his pocket. “here i was thinking we were in a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.”

you giggled, tugging on his arm. “oh, shut up. we are. you call me by my name, and i call you by yours. that’s as mutually respectful as we can get.”

jeonghan rolled his eyes, but allowed you to pull his hand out of his pocket and put your fingers between his again. he had never been the type to hold hands in public, but with you it felt right. “whatever. it’s only been a month. i’ll break you eventually.”

you exhaled. “if you want me to tell people you’re my boyfriend, you just have to ask.”

“why would i want that?”

you pouted. “i dunno, i thought maybe you liked me or something.”

he squeezed your hand. “don’t flatter yourself.”

you laughed, forcing a smile onto jeonghan’s face, and he didn’t stop you when you changed the subject to the fact that mingyu had informed you that a dissected sheep brain looks a little too close to ssamgyeopsal for comfort.

one day, he told you that he thought you’d be different, back before you started dating. you were gentler than he imagined, despite your continued quick wit and sharp tongue. sweeter.

“i dunno,” he said, leaning back against the couch with your head in his lap. “in my head you would just be mean all the time.”

you didn’t take it as an insult. “the version of me you created in your head is no responsibility of mine.”

jeonghan thought you were beyond incredible. while his original judgement of you being rude, pretentious, and, well, mean hadn’t necessarily been wrong, he had found you to also be incredibly caring, thoughtful, and maybe the funniest person he had ever met. you would sigh about how broke you were that week, how you were sick of eating cup noodles, but you wouldn’t hesitate to spend the last of your budget on soju and kimbap for your friends on your walk to their apartment. you always picked up on his subtle mood changes - when he would press his hands to his temples as he tried to process his literature homework, your hand would sneak onto his thigh and squeeze his knee to remind him to let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding, despite your eyes never leaving your own textbook. he swore he never saw jihoon laugh as hard as he did when you and mingyu went off on one of your stupid arguments that only best friends could have, especially after you called mingyu a “grey’s anatomy-worthy harassment claim waiting to happen.”

“seriously, why am i friends with you?” mingyu grabbed his drink from your hand and glared at you when he noticed how much lighter it was (you had said you didn’t want one but definitely stole more than one sip). “can anyone else stand this bitch?”

“i like them,” jeonghan said matter of factly, his chin in his hand and elbow on the table as he stared at you fondly. 

mingyu rolled his eyes. “you don’t count, evil twin.”

jihoon had his back on the floor, hands on his face, still trying to recover from your grey’s anatomy joke, and mingyu’s twin comment only set him off again. you giggled as you watch him roll onto his side, and briefly looked around this new grouping you found yourself in, sat around the low table covered in takeout in jeonghan’s living room. “how come you call me every day, then, dr. hate-my-guts?”

“free therapy,” he said, not missing a beat as he shoved a massive spoonful of rice and meat into his mouth. jihoon coughed, and mingyu narrowly avoided laughing as he chewed.

“i don’t buy it,” jeonghan said, running a hand through his hair and leaning back on the other. he watched you steal from his plate. “i think you like y/n the same reason i do. they’re the first person that didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear just because you’re good looking.”

mingyu kept chewing as he stared at jeonghan, his almost tired gaze going to you before he spoke. “you guys are really made for each other, huh?”

you didn’t think it before, but everyone kept telling you two that, and it definitely served as a pretty good ego boost for the existing confidence in your newfound relationship. you, of course, enjoyed jeonghan’s company even more without the validating eye rolls and gagging noises from friends whenever one of you made some praising comment about the other. you thought he was funny when he was making scathing jokes at his friends’ expense, but you thought he was absolutely hilarious when he was muttering every stupid thought that popped into his head with the specific intention of making you laugh too loud as you laid with him in your bed, his hand rubbing your back, overly aware of the fact that your roommate was trying to study at their desk as you planted your hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter.

as more time passed, jeonghan found it increasingly annoying that you both shared bedrooms with other people, considering how easily you could tease him into a bothered red-eared state with just your words. times that the two of you had gotten yelled at by whoever had to witness to get a damn room, or whispers between drinks that turned into standing too closely at parties, catching each others lips teasingly. disappearing into a bedroom only to be interrupted before anything can happen by some combination of party-goers and friends that somehow always managed to ruin the mood for one or both of you in an extremely targeted way. you had managed to help each other get off, of course, and he loved the look of you sinking to your knees in a bathroom stall, gaze catching his while you unbuckled his belt, or the way you squirmed against him, stuck between a closet door and his hard place, your breath hitching as he dug his fingers deeper into you. both activities were satisfying in their own right, but it would never be enough for him.

then there was that frustrating time jihoon had walked in, catching you with your hand down jeonghan’s pants, and he would never forgive you for the way you hesitated to loosen your grip on him despite the interruption. those few seconds of sheer terror he had felt, making direct eye contact with his roommate with his dick hard and in a hand that wasn’t his, the only thing stopping you from continuing being his annoyed “can you let go, now?" 

he had decided to get back at you, and he got the opportunity a week later, when he had woken up behind you in your bed with your laptop asking if you were still watching and your roommate sleeping only a meter or so away. his lips ghosting across your neck, rousing you from your shallow sleep just to find his hand gently squeezing your hip, running over your mound until you were begging him to slip it under your pajama shorts. he had to put his free hand over your mouth to keep you quiet as you melted under his touch, your toes curling against his shins as the string in you snapped, and you punched his chest when you finally rolled over and caught your breath for getting you so needy when you weren’t alone. he just giggled and looked at you, half lidded, then kissed you like he hadn’t just been muttering voyeuristic filth in your ear.

jihoon was going home for the weekend, and the second jeonghan had found out, he told you you weren’t allowed to make any plans and swapped his saturday shift with a coworker. you had laughed in his face when he told you he intended to keep you in bed the entire weekend, but part of you had been waiting just as much as he had.

on friday night, when the two of you were sitting on the couch watching some documentary that you could barely pay attention to, seungcheol asked again if you guys wanted to go to the bar with him and soonyoung.

"cheol, i swear to god,” jeonghan said, the arm over your shoulder stiffening as he pointed at his roommate. “if you ask one more time, we’re gonna fuck in your bed, and it will be messy.”

seungcheol groaned in disgust as you laughed. “fuck you, jeonghan. i was giving them an out.”

“sorry,” you said, your head leaning back against the arm. “i’ll try to get him to wash the sheets, but no promises.”

“you guys are so fucking gross,” seungcheol said, snatching his wallet off the counter and shoving it in his pocket as soonyoung came out from the bathroom. “we’re leaving before they jump each other. do you have everything? if you forgot something, we’re not coming back,” he said, pointing. “i’m not risking it.”

soonyoung patted all his pockets, nodded, then smiled and waved at you. “see you guys! use protection!”

“don’t take the sixth shot,” you warned, smiling and waving back. soonyoung laughed as he got shoved out the door by his roommate, and when it shut behind him, you felt a chill run up your spine for no good reason.

“we should probably wait a minute,” you said, turning back to jeonghan, who was already leaning into you and letting his gaze flicker unapologetically between your eyes and lips.

“or, and this is just a suggestion, we can decide that we’ve waited long enough and that if they come back after all of that they deserve to see whatever they see,” he pitched, his fingers already brushing against your jaw.

you blinked at him from only a breath away, his honeyed eyes putting a sweet taste in your mouth. you swallowed, your stomach feeling light suddenly. “or that.”

his lips were on yours as soon as the words left them, and your hand rose to grip the front of his shirt - one of the many plain shirts that seemed to rotate around the household. you fidgeted for a second, before deciding you were impatient and pulling away from him only to swing a leg over his and straddle his lap. he grinned at you, hands landing on your thighs, lips excitedly welcoming back yours.

you really enjoyed kissing jeonghan. he always started soft, gentle, with light caresses and reassurances of how beautiful he thought you were. though you never catch him applying any, you know he has a peach flavored lip balm hiding somewhere in his daily routine, and you tasted it on him as you dove a little deeper into him, his hands squeezing at your waist as your tongue dipped past his lips. 

jeonghan also really enjoyed kissing you, which was both good and bad for him. good, of course, because you could happily trap him in liplock for hours, and he never got bored of your soft sighs and adoring touches and wanton noises. bad, though, because his enjoyment becomes incredibly obvious embarrassingly fast, and he wished he could wipe the smirk off your face as soon as you noticed, but he always found himself completely powerless against you when you decided there was something you wanted.

and so, jeonghan’s eyes flicked over your chest as you pulled off your shirt, tossing it to the side as you stood and spun around, planting your hands on his knees and spreading his thighs as you sat back directly on his already straining bulge.

“holy fuck,” he managed, fingers running over the soft fabric of your gray sweatpants before kneading at your ass. you wiggled against his grip before grinding down against him, satisfied by the reaction, loving how clearly you could feel him and the way he sucked in a breath. you made no effort to stifle the noise caused by feeling him against your already dampening core, even through far too many layers. he whipped of his shirt quickly, his hands running up your back, twisting over your waist and pulling your back against his chest. you felt his lips start at your shoulder, then a hand on your chest, then the other snaking down your stomach.

you chuckled lightly. “can’t take a lapdance?”

“from you?” his lips landed behind your ear. “absolutely not. you’ll make me cum, and i have other things i’d like to try first.”

you sighed, rolling your hips as deliberate fingers moved from your stomach to inner thigh. “ever the poet.”

he smirked against your neck. “try it again later. right now, you’re making me insane.”

“mm,” you agreed. “i’ll keep that bookmarked, then.”

“god, how are you this hot?” jeonghan almost laughed. “you’re so annoying, why are you so good at teasing me like this?”

you smirked as his hand ghosted over your core. “yoon jeonghan, you make it incredibly fun to tease you.”

“i refuse to believe that it’s my fault you’re this sexy,” he said, drinking in the way your head dropped to his shoulder and a moan fell from your lips as he ran a finger up your slit. even through fabric, he felt the arousal gathering at your core, making his cock jump against your ass. you smiled, a hand snaking against his scalp, tugging gently at the hair at the base of his skull as he bumped over your clit, his reactionary groan matching yours.

“baby,” you whispered, your breath hot against jeonghan’s lips. “please.”

he licked his lips, tongue almost brushing yours in the process, using his hand on your waist to grind himself against you. “please what, darling?”

“fingers, jeonghan,” you whimpered, arching your back against his chest slightly in hopes to get friction against him, but he stopped his grinding as you did. you huffed. “please, i need you.”

he nudged at your jaw, making you roll your head as he planted his lips on your neck. his fingers undid the drawstring of your sweats to comfortably push under the fabric, and he let out a sigh as he didn’t find another layer.

“you’re evil.”

you giggled, gasping as his fingers quickly ran through your wetness. “and it turns you on.”

you let out a prolonged moan as he pushed his middle finger into you easily, sucking the base of your neck between his teeth. you gripped him, nails surely leaving crescents against his neck as he groaned about how absurdly wet you were, and you said something about how he was in no position to tease when you could feel every time his dick throbbed against you. he asked if you were dirty enough to admit how long you hadn’t been wearing underwear, and he watched you lick your lips before you told him all day. he smirked when you brought your lips to his, moaning against him as he pushed a second finger into you.

his fingers curled deliciously against pressure points, making you gasp as you tightened around them. jeonghan watched your heavy eyelids as you tried to focus on him, he watched your chest rise and fall as it flushed. he brought his free hand up to pinch your already puckered nipple, your temple landing on his cheek in an attempt to hold yourself together.

“i can tell you’re close,” he teased, and you only whined in response, eyes squeezing shut as his palm rubbed at your clit with the gentle movement of his fingers curling in you. “are you gonna cum on my hand, darling?”

you nodded hurriedly, your fingers curling in his hair, then opened your eyes to find his. he smiled at you, which only made you feel as though your world was crumbling. your back arched against his chest again as you came, and he held you by your core as you squeezed at his fingers, lips leaving repeated kisses across your cheek and neck.

despite the orgasm, you couldn’t help but continue to grind down against jeonghan’s hand, and he indulged your neediness by pumping them into you again before slipping his fingers out of you and pushing you forwards. “wallet.”

you groaned, pushing your ass back against him, smiling at the way his hand tensed on your side. “no please?”

he stared at where you were rubbing against his length. “i’m either cumming in a condom or your ass. your choice.”

he gave you a smug look when you turned your head to giggle at him, but his face almost completely dropped when he realized you were considering it.

“okay,” you said. “condom. this time.”

jeonghan’s cock flinched against you again, to which you responded with a wiggle before pushing off him and walking to the kitchen to retrieve a foil packet from his wallet, leaving him staring after you dumbly. when you turned around to walk back towards him, he had shoved his pants over his knees, leaning back heavily as he stroked himself using the hand you had so graciously wet for him. you gulped involuntarily, suddenly aware of how much saliva was gathering around your tongue as you tore open the condom.

he watched you kneel between his knees, his hand stilling at the base of his cock as you lapped a wet line up the underside of it, tongue swirling over his head. he tasted like you, and you had to swallow again before you rolled the condom onto him. you stood, turning your back to him as you hooked your thumbs under the waistband of your sweats and leaned over slightly as you pushed the fabric over your ass. jeonghan’s hand tightened around himself involuntarily, his other going to feel you. squeeze your hip, pinch at the soft flesh. guide you down onto him as you braced yourself on his knee. you pulled at the underside of your thigh, spreading yourself wider as you sat back onto him, sighing as he stretched you out.

“fuck,” he choked out, both hands gripping at your waist to stop you from sinking more. “shit, you feel really good.”

you whined, rolling your hips back in need. “i’ll feel even better if you let me sit.”

he chuckled. “why do you think i stopped you?”

you looked over your shoulder. “two pump chump?”

jeonghan pulled you down onto him harshly, forcing a squeal out of you as you curled over yourself. it had been a long time since anything had been this deep, and you could already feel your release building with one touch of his head to your spot. “shut up.”

“shutting up,” you muttered, voice almost cracking when he held you still and rutted up into you. 

“god, i can’t believe it took us this long,” he said, steadying you with his grip so you could roll your hips on his lap. “to get me in you.”

“m-maybe if your roommate ever went to cl-lass,” you stuttered, beyond pleased that you could finally relieve this frustration as you slowly bounced on his lap. “f-fuck, you feel better than i imagined.”

you could hear the grin on his face when he spoke again, running his fingers up your side. “have i been fucking you in your dreams, baby?”

“well, you sure - mf! - haven’t been fuh-hucking me in real li-” your sentence getting cut off by a whiney moan when his hips bumped up to meet yours. “god, fuck, jeonghan!”

he pulled himself off the couch, pressing his chest against your back. he pushed up into you, almost desperately, his teeth running across your shoulder as much as his lips did. you gasped, leaning back into him, spreading your legs until your knees hooked on the outside of his, his unrelenting fingers finding your clit, just to make you beg as he pumped in and out of you.

“please what, baby?” he asked sweetly, despite the hair sticking to his sweaty forehead and the way his eyebrows knit together.

“p-please, can i cum again?”

jeonghan groaned, almost taken aback by your complete switch in attitude. while he knew you liked it when he tried to take control, he had never seen you go down without a fight. “who knew all you needed to stop being such a brat was my cock?”

“p-please, h-hannie…” you whimpered, and he could feel your walls constricting around him. “please, i wanna cum.”

desperation became obvious in his own hips, just by taking in your face. he had gone into this with every intention of milking you of everything you had, but he was man enough to admit that your begging made him too close to cumming to stop. “get my dick wet, darling.”

your mouth gaped in a silent cry as you crumpled into his chest, your legs twitching inwards as he moved his hands to your hips and continued thrusting up into you, your walls squeezing him tight until he let out a low groan, slowing his movement until he eventually stilled completely.

the two of you stayed there, a sweaty, entangled mess on the couch, both just trying to catch your breath.

“fuck,” you said finally, and jeonghan thought he couldn’t have said it better himself.

after two packets of slightly overcooked ramen, a conversation about how leaving a used condom on cheol’s bed would not be a funny prank, and a generous spray of febreze fabric refresher, jeonghan watched proudly as you walked with a slight unintentional wobble towards his bedroom, assuring you he’d be right there as he rinsed out your bowls in the sink.

when he did finally join you, you were laying on his bed with your phone to your ear, and he crawled up over you as you giggled into the phone, knees spreading to accommodate. “hannie’s. i told you, i’m staying here for the weekend.”

jeonghan could hear mingyu’s voice on the other end, saying something about how he thought it was next weekend for some reason and that getting laid would be good for you, but he just smiled as he kissed at your neck, your free arm settling around him comfortably.

“why are you calling this late?” you asked, looking over at jeonghan’s bedside to confirm the time. “are you guys going out?”

“yeah, of course. rockbox in an hour. you guys in?”

you tipped your head to the side as jeonghan continued his gentle kisses up your neck, hands running up under your shirt, making you sigh softly. “nah, we have plans. cheol and soonyoung are there, though.”

“okay, no worries,” mingyu said, then paused. jeonghan took the opportunity to bite just below your jaw, gently rolling his hips between your thighs to make you aware of what he was thinking. “are you busy right now, or can you talk?”

a pang of guilt ran through you as you held your breath, trying to not audibly react to the movement against you. you hadn’t been able to sit and chat with your best friend in way too long. “i’m, uh, a little busy? maybe we could get lunch tomorrow?”

jeonghan pulled back and glared at you, a stark reminder that he had asked you to not make plans, but you just put a finger to his pouting lips.

“as long as it’s after noon, i’m down.”

“okay,” you said, brushing your fingers across jeonghan’s cheek and pushing his hair behind an ear. “one? two? stew?”

“one’s good,” mingyu said, his voice sing songy. “okay, i’m gonna get ready. have fun! use protection.”

you rolled your eyes. “everyone keeps saying that.”

“yeah, because you guys are crazy and no one wants to risk it.”

after your byes, you hung up and looked at jeonghan, who was still staring at you with disdain. you sighed. “it’s just lunch.”

“i said no plans,” he reminded you, pouting. “now we have to go get lunch with mingyu when i could be fucking you stupid in my roommateless bedroom.”

“no we don’t,” you said, running your hands through his hair. “i have to get lunch with mingyu. you can do whatever you want.”

“oh, so i’m not even invited?” his eyebrows raised at you. “you do realize i switched a shift so i could spend all day with you, right?”

you giggled. “hannie, i would love to spend all day with you, but i haven’t sat and gotten lunch with mingyu in a month. i miss my best friend.”

he groaned, burying his face in your neck. “stop making sense, i’m trying to be mad at you.”

“you can still be mad,” you said, your fingers softly massaging against the back of his neck. “i like it when you think you’re punishing me.”

he groaned again, hating how you could so easily say the perfect thing to make him forget about anything else. “you’re evil.”

you giggled. “and it turns you on.”

he adjusted against you, trying to ignore his increasing arousal despite his original intentions. “sometimes, you seem like my own personal demon.”

“oh, fun,” you vocalised, brushing your fingers knowingly through the hair behind his ear, triggering a huff as you hit your favorite soft spot of his. “two demons trying to torture each other.”

he laughed as he raised his head, propping it up with a hand. “would you consider this torture?”

“maybe for normal people,” you said, sneaking a kiss onto his lips. “but we’re demons, remember? this is fun for us.”

his lips pouted, less to make a point and more because it was their comfortable, natural state after your lips leave. “i think i like you a lot.”

your face burned. it wasn’t the first time he had said something to that effect, but it made your chest feel funny nonetheless. “that’s reassuring.”

“i’m serious,” he said. “i really like you. and i don’t like people.”

you smiled softly. “i like you, too, yoon jeonghan.”

he adjusted his elbows on either side of you. “i want to be your boyfriend.”

you stared at him. “nah.”

“aye,” he cocked his head, making you laugh. “you said all i had to do was ask!”

“i’m kidding,” you said, putting your hands on either side of his face, pushing his cheeks in. “do you want to meet my parents, too?”

he looked at the wall behind his bed. “maybe that can wait.”

giggling, you pulled him into a kiss. “okay, boyfriend.”

the smile on his lips lingered as you kissed him, and he decided it was time to make sure everyone knew you were officially taken.

“you could have worn a scarf.”

you rolled your eyes, pulling the hood of the sweatshirt you stole from jeonghan’s in an attempt to hide the purple marks on your neck over your head. “it’s not my fault he tried to kill me,” you said, tugging on the drawstrings. “how was rockbox?”

“good,” mingyu said, leaning back. “weird. vernon ended up on stage.”

you almost choked on your water. “and i missed it?”

he laughed, then pulled out his phone to show you a video. “seungkwan made him do the features on a beyoncé song. he killed it, though.”

you watched the shaky vertical video of vernon on stage with a boy you knew but never really spoke to, watching in disbelief and laughing at mingyu’s hollering in the background. “wow. bey seungkwan and jay-v. that’s pretty legendary. i can’t believe i wasn’t there.”

mingyu laughed, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “how was your night? productive, obviously,” he said, gesturing to your neck.

“good,” you said reflexively, then exhaled as you looked at your best friend. “like, really good.”

“okay, spare the details, but like,” mingyu tipped his head and looked at you through his lashes. “good good?”

“mingyu, you know i would never say this lightly,” you put your hands on the table. “the best. seriously. man has a surprising amount of stamina for how much he naps.”

“damn,” he sighed and looked away from you. “y'know, that makes sense. i’ve always heard he was good in bed, and you two have some insane chemistry.”

you spotted the waiter coming, and before they were in earshot, you hurriedly said “plus his dick is huge.”

“oh, my god,” mingyu reeled back, then realized what you had done as the waiter put side dishes on your table. as soon as they left, he glared at you. “why are you like this.”

you grinned. “you were curious, though, right?”

he squinted at you. “doesn’t mean you should just offer up the info.”

“when’s the last time i slept with someone?” you asked. “like, really. it’s been, like, almost a year since i hooked up with rubin.”

his brows ruffled as he thought. “damn, is that true? has it really been that long?”

“let me brag,” you pleaded. “please? he’s so hot, i’m gonna lose my mind if you don’t let me talk about it.”

“i don’t know if i can be friends with you anymore.”

“dude, he spit in my mouth this morning.”

“oh-kay, so you’re buying lunch,” mingyu said, sitting up suddenly. “damn, this morning? have you guys just been going at it like rabbits?”

“i don’t wanna hear it,” you said, pointing at him. “you had to tell me about every guy you hooked up with during your 'hoe-liday’ last winter, you can listen to me talk about a guy i’ve been seeing for almost two months.”

“fair enough,” he laughed. “i don’t think i’ve ever seen you like this.”

you groaned, sinking your head to the table. “it sucks.”

he stared at you. “oh my god, his dick made you fall in love.”

“shut up,” you said, lifting your head to land your chin on the table, curling a paper napkin over your spoon. you pouted as you tried to come up with an argument, but failed. “he’s sweet.”

“he’s mean,” mingyu corrected. “but he’s sweet to you.

"and dogs,” you defended. “and kids.”

“oh, so he’s husband material all of a sudden?”

you shrugged. “i’ve dated people much less likeable than yoon jeonghan.”

mingyu sighed, eating some kimchi. “that’s true. we both have.”

“yeah, so stop making fun of me, asshole,” your eyebrows creased as you leaned back and crossed your arms. “try being happy for me for a change. didn’t you want this all along? trying to get me to ask him out?”

“i am happy for you,” mingyu said, showing some genuinity as he laughed, also leaning back as your food arrived. “you just make it really hard sometimes.”

mingyu had the courtesy of dropping you off back at jeonghan’s so he didn’t have to borrow seungcheol’s car to come get you, and as he pulled up to the familiar apartment building, he gave you his usual “say hi to your boyfriend for me,” as he put it in park, quickly checking his phone.

instead of your normal “not my boyfriend,” you looked over at your best friend and bit your cheek. “sure.”

mingyu’s neck nearly snapped to look at you. “wait, what?”

you giggled. “sure, i’ll say hi for you.”

“did you-” he started, then stuttered, trying to figure out what he was asking. “are you guys, like-”

“he asked,” you said shrugging. “i said yes.”

a grin spread across his face. “really?”

“well, actually, i said no. then i said okay.”

mingyu laughed. “yeah that sounds right. wow, y/n got a boyfriend.”

you rolled your eyes, pulling the hood further over your head to hide your involuntarily hot ears as you adjusted to open the car door. “bye, goo.”

“this is my best friend,” he said loudly, making you stare at him with wide eyes as some innocent bystander walked past the car, all while you tried to pull yourself out of the door. “beautiful, right? sorry though, they’re taken, i’m dropping them off to see their brand new boyfriend.”

“you’re embarrassing,” you said, pointing an annoyed finger, grateful the person only looked back once before continuing. “go home.”

“you have done ten times worse to me,” mingyu said, grinning from ear to ear. “have fun with the pretentious asshole that can’t make an americano right, yoon jeonghan!”

that made you laugh despite yourself, and you shot him several expletives before slamming his door shut and running up the stairs.

after punching in the door code that no one had told you but you had seen enough times to know, you announced that you had returned. seeing jihoon’s chair empty on a saturday was strange, but at least seungcheol and soonyoung were up to their usual antics of playing some game extremely poorly.

you stood and watched the screen for a moment. “you know you can catch the arrows, right?”

soonyoung looked at you. “you can catch the arrows?”

seungcheol groaned. “why would you tell him that? i’m actually winning for once!”

you giggled. “if you dodge when the arrows are coming, you catch them.”

“you can dodge?”

from the other room, you heard a muted “hurry up,” and you saluted to the boys as they argued, following your cue to exit the situation.

jeonghan was on his bed when you shut the door behind you. “what are they yelling about?”

you sighed as you walked over to him. “apparently soonyoung didn’t know you could dodge in towerfall.”

he watched you pull off the sweatshirt - the same one he had worn on your first kinda date - to admire the marks he had left on you, then blinked when he realized what you had said. “we play that game all the time, how did he not know?”

you shrugged, then crawled into his waiting arms. “he’s not very observant.”

you sighed as you settled against jeonghan, and he kissed the top of your head. “how was lunch?”

“good,” you said, smiling. “gyu is good. it was nice to catch up.”

jeonghan clicked his tongue. “you guys talk every day.”

“okay, yeah, but,” you adjusted to look at him. “talking on the phone and hanging out with other people is different. we can’t talk about the same stuff.”

“well, what’d you talk about?”

you smiled. “wouldn’t you like to know?”

he squinted at you. “aren’t we supposed to be a team now? no secrets?”

“okay,” you said, fixing his bangs. “what were you and seungcheol talking about in his room yesterday before i got here?”

jeonghan couldn’t help the tiny smile that worked its way into his face. “did soonyoung tell you?”

“i would never reveal my source,” you said triumphantly, knowing it couldn’t have been anyone else, considering jihoon had already left. “also, he was pissed that you kicked him out while he was still sleeping.”

“if i could have just dragged cheol into my room, i would have,” he sighed. “trust me. i can pull soonyoung out of bed, but seungcheol is dense.”

you inspected his lips a moment. “were you talking about me?”

“uh,” jeonghan adjusted under you, putting a hand behind his head. “no, not really. soonyoung got a job, and me and cheol are both working more now. i wanted to talk about getting a bigger place, since our lease ends in the summer.”

you vocalised excitedly. “does this mean you’d get your own room?”

“that’s the idea, yeah,” he said, grinning. “you could stay over more.” and while he hadn’t lied - they had discussed larger apartment options, and decided to start looking by the end of the month - he failed to mention that the main purpose of him isolating seungcheol was to confirm he was crazy for wanting you to join them if they did move.

“i mean,” cheol had said, barely propping himself up in bed. “it might be a bit too early to tell, but you guys seem like the real deal.”

jeonghan spun in soonyoung’s desk chair, arms crossed. “but i’m insane, right? like, we haven’t even slept together.”

“they’re coming over for the weekend, yeah?”

“yeah.”

“so let’s talk about it again on monday?”

jeonghan kneaded at his jaw, exhaling. “yeah, okay.”

now, you had slept together. not only that, but you slept together, all night, in the same bed, and jeonghan woke up with jumbled poetry in his head when he found you curled up by his side. despite living in this apartment for nearly a year, it felt most like home with you in it. 

and he had told seungcheol, when he got home from dropping you off for lunch, that he was pretty damn sure he wanted to wake up like that every morning.

he wondered how you would react, if you would want to take the leap and move in with him. part of him felt as though he was taking advantage of your situation for his own selfish want to have you around all the time - you would do literally anything to avoid being in a dorm next year, but your housing budget wouldn’t accommodate for anything more than a goshiwon. while that wasn’t the worst option, you always talked about how much you missed living in a normal space, with a stove. a full sized fridge. a real bathroom, instead of a cramped wetroom. if he were to ask you to live with him, you would likely say yes, but would that put too much strain on your relationship too early? or would you think he was moving too fast and say no? his mind whirred silently as you buried your face in his neck.

“what’s on your mind?”

jeonghan blinked. “nothing.”

“liar.”

he sighed. “you.”

you lifted your head. “am i what’s making your heart beat so fast?”

he hadn’t even realized his pulse had quickened. he swallowed, briefly wondering if he would ever be able to truly hide anything from you. “maybe. what did you and mingyu talk about?”

you laughed. “i was hoping you would forget.”

“i never forget.”

“we talked about a lot,” you said, fiddling with the collar of jeonghan’s tee. “classes, summer plans, boys…”

he raised his brow at the last subject. “boys, huh?”

you smirked at him playfully. “yeah, our waiter was cute.”

he scoffed in your face and you giggled, then flattened his shirt against his chest.

“we talked about you. i told him we were official.”

“how’d that go?”

“he made fun of me, but it’s fine because i told him you have a big dick.”

jeonghan’s hand went from behind his head to cover his eyes, letting out a half-groan and half-“really?”, but the smile on his lips told you he wasn’t mad. “why? why would you tell him that?”

“he’s my best friend!” you laughed.

“okay, why did you tell me that?”

“i’d thought you’d like to know,” you said, pouting slightly. “he might respect you now.”

he uncovered his face just so you could see him rolling his eyes before he tried to sit up. “okay, no more cuddling.”

you whined, trying to keep him in place, but failing. “but i just got here!”

“maybe you shouldn’t have left in the first place,” he teased, getting out of bed to turn off the air purifier he usually only ran at night, but had been too preoccupied to turn off that morning. “i told you i intended to keep you in bed all weekend, but you didn’t care.”

“i’m here now,” you pouted. “in your bed.”

“take a nap, then,” jeonghan said. “i’m gonna eat.”

you groaned. “you didn’t eat while i was gone?”

“too busy pouting in bed. your turn.”

you floundered and whined childishly for a moment as he laughed at you, leaving the room without another word. sometimes you hated how similar you two were, but only because it made you completely aware of just how annoying you were.

when jeonghan returned, you had completely passed out, holding his pillow under your head as you laid on your stomach. he smirked in the direction of the sleeping body and fiddled with a few things - closing the closet door, throwing a rogue shirt into his hamper, etc. - before making his way to the bed to join you.

his touch was gentle. enough to rouse but not frighten. you squirmed slightly, recognizing the way his hand dipped into even the most subtle curves of your body as you laid out comfortably. you gave a noise of approval when it ran over your ass, squeezing slightly. jeonghan smirked again, and you turned under his arm to face him, a soft smile on your lips.

“g'morning.”

“it’s four in the afternoon,” he corrected.

you sighed. “and it’s a good morning.”

“sure is, babe,” he drawled, smiling as you planted a smooch. his hand ran unhurriedly up your back, under your shirt.

you hummed. “are you really horny again?”

“listen,” he mumbled, almost laughing. “i just want to get of much of you as i can, while i can.”

you supposed that was as good a reason as any as you kissed him again, only for him to pull away and straddle the backs of your thighs. he pushed the balls of his palms into your lower back on either side of your spine, and you let out a low moan. jeonghan did this on occasion, treat you to a back rub. he claimed it was because you had the worst posture he had ever seen, but you knew it was an excuse to get his hands all over you, and you couldn’t hide how much you enjoyed it. you adjusted to lay straighter, burying your face in the pillow when he hit a particularly evil knot and had to dig it out with a thumb. you groaned as his hands travelled up your back, sliding the shirt up as he massaged into your shoulders. you sighed as you got up on your elbows and ripped off the shirt, tossing it somewhere on the floor, exposing your full back to him, your shoulders and neck littered in his marks. he admired them, even planted small kisses atop a few, then worked his way down your back, curving his hands over your ass.

you muttered a quiet thank you, and he smiled, giving you a succinct “of course” in response. he moved down to your legs, thumbs sneaking in your inner thighs and subtly spreading you out despite your pants. you hummed, pushing your hips to meet his touch, encouraging him to knead at your cheeks.

“have i ever told you you have a great ass?”

you giggled. “it’s average at best.”

“uh, no,” he said, voice pitched upwards in a teasing manner. “i think i’m a really great judge in asses and yours is fantastic.”

“yeah?” you peeked over your shoulder. “what’s so fantastic about it?”

jeonghan’s fingers dug into it, eyes shooting up to meet yours. “well, for starters, it’s connected to you.”

he ran a thumb over your crease, making you let out a small noise in response, and you buried your face in the pillow again. “shut up.”

he smirked against your shoulder, hands running up your back again and one landing on the mattress beside you as he pushed his hips against your ass. “yes, boss.”

you sighed, arching your back to get as much friction as you could while he ground his hard member against you. he sucked at your neck, and your hands dug helplessly into his hair as you whined.

“are we teenagers?” you asked, huffing. “do we have to dry hump or can we fuck like adults?”

jeonghan laughed as he lifted his mouth to ghost over yours. “impatient. if you were better, you would have asked for my cock nicely.”

“better,” you repeated, hating the way a hard wave of arousal washed over you, suddenly wakening your senses like it was from the pacific. “for you?”

the tip of his tongue barely swiped at your lips, your jaw twitching slightly in reaction. “you gonna be good?”

you tried to focus on him, your blown out eyes flickering hopelessly to his lips. “i-i can try.”

and with that, jeonghan yanked your pants over your hips and down your thighs, scooting them down as you hiked your ass up slightly, hoping to tempt him as efficiently as possible. his hands found your ass again, spreading you out as you groaned. “look at you, soaking.”

you bit your lip, making a pathetic noise into the pillow to avoid talking back. “please, jeonghan.”

two fingers ran over you, and you tried to muffle your moan as best you could as your hips moved involuntarily, pushing into his fingers. he smirked down at you, wondering how far he could take you as he messily spread your arousal. “bet you could take two right now.”

“yes,” you said, gasping slightly. “please, hannie, please, i can take it.”

he pushed two fingers into you, barely even scissoring them before pushing in a third, making you bury your face in his pillow as you groaned. “i’ve been fucking you good, huh?”

you nodded frantically, pushing against his hand as steadily as you could. he noted your neediness, and indulged you by thrusting his fingers into you until you were whining rhythmically to his pace. he pulled a finger out, then another, and you instinctively threw a hand back to catch him before he pulled away completely. he laughed lightly, his hand easily overpowering yours and pressing a kiss against your shoulder blade.

“sorry, were you close?”

you exhaled sharply. “that was so mean.”

“i’ll make it up to you,” he said, pulling your hips further off the bed and pushing you further apart. he licked a wide stripe up your core, and you moaned deeply into the pillow, gripping it with all your power as his tongue expertly ran over your clit. “you taste incredible.”

you panted as you turned your head. “i thought you just ate.”

“i have a separate dessert stomach.”

your thighs buzzed and gut fluttered, and you wondered how he always managed to make you weak in the knees, even when his tongue was buried in you. it wasn’t long before you were gripping at his wrist, knuckles white, quaking as his lips guided you through your orgasm, and he lapped at your release, licking wet stripes up your inner thighs as well.

when he backed away, you exhaled again. “jeonghan-”

“what?” he asked, pushing his own pants down his thighs. he stood to drop them to the floor before straddling you again, pulling your hips back against him. “is this what you want?”

your hand found his thigh, urging him towards you. he rubbed the head of his cock, already shiny and scarlet, against your core, and you practically begged on the spot. suddenly, he pushed you into the mattress, pushing his hips against yours but fucking into your thighs. you whimpered, his cock rubbing against you absolutely deliciously, but not at all what you were expecting. he groaned into your neck, snaking a hand up under you.

“god, you’re so wet, i almost don’t even need to fuck your pussy.”

you yelped when his fingers found a nipple and pinched. “h-hannie, please-”

“please, what?”

you squirmed. “please fuck me.”

he looked at you. “you get one more try.”

for a moment, you looked back at him and your mind went blank. “please, hannie, i need your cock.”

he smiled. “was that so hard?” his tone and kisses were sweet, but completely mismatched the frustration bubbling in you as he pulled back, making you moan again as the head bumped over your clit. “do you trust me?”

“yes, baby, please just fuck me before i scream.”

with one hand on his cock, he guided himself into you, a moan tumbling from his lips as he felt you completely unsheathed for the first time. you gripped the pillow in a tighter fist as he filled you out, and it took all your concentration to not squeal in a way that absolutely would have been heard by the entire apartment. his hands gripped your waist, pulling you back onto him as he fucked into you. as you adjusted to him, you began to curse the fact that this was only temporary - you would have to go back to unreliably private quickies in a few short days - and you suddenly got the urge to really savor the way jeonghan’s cock felt in you.

he leaned over you, changing the angle ever so slightly and just enough to make you cry out, and he put a palm at the base of your neck, wrapping his fingers around it slightly as he pushed you into his pillow. “i could fuck you raw forever.”

you tried to catch your breath to respond. “i would let you.”

you internally celebrated the low groan that escaped him, and the way his hips pushed impossibly further into you. externally, you rewarded the movement with a matching moan, though you slapped a hand over your mouth when you heard the game pause in the other room.

“don’t want them to hear you, baby?”

you whimpered into your hand as jeonghan kissed a line up the side of your neck, steadily rolling into you.

“can’t even talk?”

you shakily pulled your hand away from your mouth, trying to stifle your noises with just your will. “cheol already hates me.”

“he doesn’t hate you,” he said, his voice getting slightly more labored as he continued his pace. “i bet he’d love to hear your pretty moans.”

you clamped your hand over your mouth again, resisting jeonghan’s luring the best you could. he smiled against the hollow of your ear, nipping at it slightly.

“i know you want to, baby. just let it out.”

as he spoke, he shifted his hips, making you let out a high toned moan that was barely muted by your palm, and you buried your face in the pillow to avoid jeonghan’s shiteating grin.

“i love the way you sound when i’m fucking you,” he said, his voice never raising above his lowest register. his ability to keep his cool as you were utterly falling apart was perhaps simultaneously the most aggravating and sexiest part of the whole affair. “and you always back up against me like a bitch in heat.”

you reached back for a hand, but he swiftly grabbed your wrist to push it against your lower back. your chest heaved, and you hurriedly added your other wrist to his grip. with one hand restricting your arms and the other pulling your hip back against his, he licked his lips at the sight.

“i’m going to wreck you,” he panted. “i’m going to make you forget anyone you ever fucked before me.”

you let out harsh breaths as your chest pushed into the mattress. “already have,” you managed, peeking best you could over yout shoulder to the glorious view behind you. you enjoyed the way his tongue shot out between his lips, the way he watched his cock fill you tightly. you even liked the way his hair flopped over his eyes, even if you thought he was in need of a haircut. but you especially liked that he looked like he got lost in you. like he would never want anything but you.

you came fast and hard, squeezing him temptingly as you whined into the pillow. with that, he pulled out and rolled you over, fingers hooking at your pants to pull them off completely. you bicycle kicked to help him, then practically pulled him into you as his lips crashed into yours, hands pulling you as close as he could while you both repositioned your bodies. your hand went down to position him at your entrance again, and you gasped into his mouth when he slid into you again. his teeth tugged at your bottom lip, one hand gently massaging the back of your neck as you whimpered against him.

“you’re being so good for me,” he muttered, purposefully brushing his lips against yours with every syllable. “have i finally tamed you?”

your legs wrapped around his waist. “no chance in hell.”

he grinned, letting you pull him into more sloppy kisses as he steadily pulled another orgasm from you, and you couldn’t help but want him to cum with you. his eyebrows knit as your hands dug into the hair at the base of his head, eyes barely focusing on your lips as you begged for him to cum in you.

“you’re evil.”

you could barely smile. “and you love it.”

you choked slightly, body edging into overstimulation as you came again, and jeonghan pushed up off of you to better chase his own high. he pumped into you, hard and rough, for a few more seconds before you felt suddenly empty and he was shooting hot ribbons of cum up stomach and chest.

you bit back a moan, arching your back slightly as he stared down at your chest, leaning down to lick his cum off your nipple. you gripped his hair again, squirming as he sucked lightly, lapping more cum towards the peak. you tugged at his roots slightly, pulling him up to kiss you before he got you hot and bothered again when you weren’t sure you could handle more. 

“i can’t believe you pulled out.”

jeonghan laughed in your face. “i asked if you trusted me.”

you pouted. “i thought that meant you were going to choke me out.”

he kissed you again after a short chuckle, then sat up to grab tissues. “maybe next time.”

he didn’t say it like it was a promise, but he kept it like it was one.

and when your weekend of nonstop bedroom antics was over, you admittedly had fulfilled yourselves enough that the following privacy draught was almost bearable. sure, jeonghan asked you a couple times to come sit on his lap while he worked on lab reflections, and yes, it was much less innocent than one would think, but the two of you managed to keep unfortunate walkins to a minimum, which was only made possible by finally getting it out of your system.

also because you decided your thursday 7:30 was barely worth it most weeks, and jeonghan was always happy to run over to your dorm to fool around for a few hours while your roommate was in class.

[strappingyoungbuck]

honestly the idea of buck&taylor (who are bisexual besties who are kind of hooking up kind of living in single solidarity mostly buck enduring taylor bullying him by having Correct Opinions) and eddie&ana going on a double date is just so funny to me

eddie like knows that buck and taylor are hanging out and assumes theyre dating since chim lets slip that theyre sleeping together (buck got wine drunk and told maddie and maddies collecting gossip at home with the baby so she had to tell chim immediately) and eddie's like. like he's not Happy about it but buck's been supportive w ana so he's like. as a best friend i should return the favour

and he asks buck and buck's like. "you want the four of us to have dinner? you want to break bread with taylor kelly?" and eddie's like (through gritted teeth) "yeah man absolutely" and buck's like okay. and he thinks it's weird but eddie knows he and taylor are friends again and he's a good guy so it's not That Weird.

and then they're all at buck's or whatever and it's surprisingly not awkward bc obvs eddie and buck can fill any silences and eddie and taylor can kind of get by talking abt their jobs and buck and ana are both terminally politely and kind of just want the other to Like Them bc they know how important the other is to eddie.

and then ana turns to taylor like "so how long have you guys been dating? you seem pretty comfortable with each other" and buck almost spits out his drink and taylor goes from completely lost to full on laughing in like a split second like "oh no we dated once but even that wasn't really dating. we're just. friends 😏😉" and ana's like "oh 😳" and buck goes to get another drink whilst eddie's just watching him the whole time

anyways they wrap up and eddie and ana leave first and taylor kind of lingers and buck's hiding in the kitchen of his open plan apartment like the fool he is until she's like "so do you remember what i said about you and meaningful relationships and the people you work with?" and buck Knows he's about five steps behind her but hes like "yeah..." and she's like "yeah. so were you going to tell me you're in love with eddie or was i meant to find out myself watching you watch him the entire night even when i know im looking good as hell" and buck's like "okay. interesting. hey do you want to get drunk with me" and she's like "obviously i want to get drunk with you. call albert tell him there's leftovers and booze here."

meanwhile eddie's dropping ana home and she's like "no offence but is it kind of weird that you thought your best friend was in a relationship when he wasn't?" and eddie's like "i guess but he hasn't really talked about it that much and i didn't want to push after the last few months" and ana's like "i get that, but do you think maybe you Wanted him to be in a relationship?" and eddie's fully confused like "well obviously i want him to be happy?" and ana's like "that's not what i asked. do you think you wanted him to be in a relationship so you'd know he's unavailable?" and eddie's like "why would i want him to be unavailable" and ana just fully stares at him with that too bright too intelligent smile and says "i think you know why, and I'm not going to insult you by spelling it out." and eddie's like "yeah. i guess this is our last date" and ana's like "yeah, i think so. but ive had a lovely time for what it's worth" and she kisses him on the cheek and walks out of his life much more easily than she walked into it

and the next morning taylor's saying goodbye to buck like "i guess we're not sleeping together again then" and buck's like "nah, not unless i totally get shot down. then i want pity sex" and she rolls her eyes at him bc she saw buck watching eddie but she's seen eddie watching buck right back. so she leaves and says she'll message him and then says "hey since ana's going to be single soon. maybe give her my number?"

(and idk. maybe the four of them double date again in like a year or so but its buck&eddie hosting and ana&taylor bringing a bottle of wine)

[cloudy-dayys]

some mandela cult ideas:

- after tyler took in josiah as a refugee and noticed him havin a hard time finding a job, he offers him a job at his shop so he can ‘pay him back’ for fixin his car. he doesnt gaf about the payment, he understands and just wanted to help josiah with a stable income. hes been there, done that. with his business doing okay, he can open up a job or two. hes offered to other refugees before, but they werent able to stay for safety reasons.

- tyler teaches him the basics nd stuff about cars and other stuff as well if josiah needs it. josiah is a great helping hand when the two do get customers.

- tyler teaches josiah how to cover his face properly and try to look less uncanny so they can protect themselves and their identities better. masks, glasses, hats, you name it. tho, he only encourages it if theyre around people. if theyre alone, he recommends not hiding away.

- tyler sometimes calls josiah ‘pretty boy’ as a sarcastic insult, but it later turns into an actual genuine loving nickname. (“whatever you say, pretty boy.” turns to “you’re a pretty boy, josiah.” AUGH… my heart…)

- theres a somewhat isolated gym some miles in the next town over that tyler visits regualrly at night when no one is around. he knows the manager nd employee(s) personally, so its a safe location for him. he invites josiah almost every night, whether it to keep him company or let josiah be at another safe place.

- tyler has heard of the name malachi before. he hears many things continuing in the cult as he lessens its numbers. the murmurs and whispers in the church dont escape him. if and when he finds out josiah was malachi, itd be quite a heavy discussion between the two and tyler being very angry. though, if and when josiah finds out tyler is the church murderer, its a whole different heavy discussion. lots of worry, vulnerability, anger, confessions, etc. maybe the two avoid each other, awkward pauses or silence. they cant even glance at one another. until tyler comes home late after killing off a group of cult members, bloody and bruised. he tries treating himself, but without a word josiah starts patching him up. tension builds higher as tyler apologizes in a low, pathetic voice, hugging josiah softly but closely as the man works on patching the other’s legs. he hugs back and thats when things kicked off.

- tyler starts slowly fallin in love with josiah hard and he doesnt even know it. hes oblivious to his own feelings or how to name them. though, he is very blunt about flirting, even if he doesnt understand what flirting is. drops a bombshell on josiah everytime, nd most likely leaving the poor guy confused/flustered.

- he most likely, and quite bluntly, confesses all his thoughts and feelings to josiah about loving him when he gets super drunk one night after the two went out to a more isolated bar. he pours his heart out to him, but only remembers bits and pieces the next morning when theyre back at home. this leads to a very awkward conversation as josiah explains and tyler just stands there like ‘my god. im an idiot’. he apologizes profusely for being inappropriate, but the lanky man confesses and reassures him as well.

- this leads to them being a couple. working on cars or around the shop is a lot harder now as the two are distracted with one another.

[zodiyack]

Michael + Brahms With A Shamelessly Outgoing S/o Would Include...

Requested by @colorfulwasps: I cant believe theres only one head canon post here about my favorite slasher boys. Plith, can I have a fluff of Michael and Brahms with a gender neutral s/o who sings a lot, shamelessly, even dance around like theyre in the club (like whaddup take me home before I embarass myself any further--)

Pairing: Michael Myers x Gender Neutral!Reader, Brahms Heelshire x Gender Neutral!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, mention of alcohol, mention of murder?, slasher stuffs, me swearing like usual

Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace​

Masterlist | Slasher Masterlist

Michael Myers

famous headtilt™

whatever are you doing- oh- OH- oH-

I suppose there are times where he’s embarrassed, but he really go out in public unless it’s for murder, so there’s no one to be embarrassed but yourself.

so you’re at home, right?

you’re dancing, had a few too many while he was out

he walks in, give you the headtilt

“Oh- Michael! Hey I was uh- iwasdancingwhi-”

*continues dancing, forgetting to finish sentence*

I’m not even sure how he’d react

probably tries to get you to bed though-

like, he’ll pick you up,

“Ohhhh, it’s that kind night, huh?”

he’ll tuck you in

“wait Michael- so it’s not that kind of night?”

shit wait i’m referencing Hannibal- wrong slasher

he thinks your singing is cute, loves it, but when you’re drunk

oh boy

he’s still trying to get you to rest as you scream lyrics into his ears

is concerned he might have to tape your mouth shut

tapes your mouth shut

you tear it off

heavysigh™

he won’t get drunk, so you’re on your own there

loads of headtilts™

either helps you in the morning or lets you be, it depends on how much he likes you, which you better be on his REALLY REALLY REALLY good side to get him to care for you whilst you’re nursing a hangover

I don’t even know anymore- all I can think about is his headtilts™ lmao

also- yes. it is neccassary to put ™ after headtilt™

Brahms Heelshire

he’s amused???

This boy screams child, quite literally, and as someone who babysits, I know kids enjoy it when you doing something to “embarrass” yourself

at least, most do

Because he won’t let you leave the house, you’d invited some friends over

cue the drunk dancing

he wants to be ready to attacc but your dancing is too amusing, so he’s just watching the entire time

HOWEVER

if it were you two together? drunk dancing?

well one, he’d probably try to take the alcohol from you because you’ve obviously had a little too much

sidenote: also, how on earth did you find the alcohol-

don’t tell him, he’ll just hide it. successfully, might I add, because of how tall he is

and two, he’d happily dance with you but probably not to the music you like. so surprise him...

“Brahms, dance with me.” *club music plays in the background* “Brahms quit being a little bitch, classical music isn’t as fun as this-”

be sure to make a promise to dance to the music he wants when you’re sober if you want to avoid angry wall-boi-tantrum™

I have a feeling he’d enjoy it a lot more than Michael.

plus he’d be down to care for your drunk ass afterwards

as long as y’all are that comfy with each other

as for singing?

he loves your voice, often has that child like clap every time he hears it

will cheer you on in his own little way

despite his whole “being amused” thing, if a guest were to say you sucked or that you were weird, basically try to insult you in any way, no matter the meaning behind it (like playful or sarcastic) he’d end the party early

Person: you suckk

Brahms: stab stab bitch, say that again

basically, you’re having a good time, and no one will ruin that as long as Brahms is around

but yeah- I stick to my “he’s like a child” thing

1000% would cheer you on and clap excitedly

is not embarrassed in the slightest, but is more protective than usual because “you’re doing great sweetie”

yes, I did just do that

no. I do not regret it

however, as much fun as you are having with your guests, he will require them to leave after your fun is done, murder or mercy, your choice hun

[pekodayz]

💚💤💞🌌 ^-^

im using the fucking . office au oso aini shit i made in my mind palace for all of these questions (bc its easier) theyre "friends" btw so (gags)

💚: Who gets jealous?

aini would get jealous a bit more. mainly bc she sees oso as her close friend secretly... (ewww...). maybe when hes ogling at some girls, she does the thing where she compares herself to them and their chest size, then she becomes stagnant. like wtf i know him more than u, fucking animal. god i hate this freak i cant believe im near him. then aini goes over to them and says smth extremely embarrassing abt oso, points at him whiles shes talking and they all laugh at him. satisifed, she crosses her arms and looks at oso, smirking. then he chucks a folder straight in her eye. ok.

💤: Do you sleep together? If so, describe your sleeping positions and patterns (E.g. who steals the blankets, are either of you insomniacs, etc.)

hahahahahahah...sad face. they....wouldnt sleep together...too well. prob only when theyre drunk, and they happen to be at aini's place. maybe then they'll sleep in the same bed. usually its just them becoming self aware after 5 mins of laying down, still wearing their office attire and their shoes scattered on the bed. then they freak out, but theyre drunk so theyll prob start lazily punching each other with pillows until they pass out. aini clings onto oso asap, he kicks in his sleep obv...its just a very awkward battle in their sleep until they stop. and they look peaceful...until they wake up with a hangover. screaming in the morning. then telling each other to shut up.

💞: How do you both express affection?

mutual knowledge abt each other. the little things. ig like their fav things. theyre not gonna admit that. (theyd buy each other stuff after work, suprising the other. like omg how did u know??) oso likes to put his arm around aini a lot (then messes her hair up or gets rough, then they start lunging at each other) i think theres like a 4-5 inch height dif...sobs. aini praises him well he does well at work, then insults him after to not sound too...happy. tching and stuff. (whatever u still suck ass, idiot) woahh. they buy each other lunch when its breaktime..they know each other's fav orders and stuff. they eat together everyday (ew) , usually oso comes back with aini's order missing smth (he ate it, she snatches his drink and starts chugging. now its fair !)

🌌: What was your first date like?

ough...wow. yeah, they wouldnt call it a date. they went to a bar and nervously drank 1 drink, thats it. then they kept stuttering over their words, insulting each other a little bit. gave each other one compliment before breaking down. (horrifyingly red faces, sweating buckets, sweaty hands, cant even look each other in the eyes) they agreed not to call it a date, then they went to mcdonalds and stared at each other. they couldnt think of an order at 12:30 am. rock paper scissors, loser pays. mood lightens up a lot, they forgot it was a date. oops! maybe next time!

[nextstopparis]

OH MY GOD YESSSSS YOU’TE SO RIGHT ABOUT THEN AT THE FESTIVAL MWA IT WAS PERFECT!! 💗💗 which reminds me, please for the love of god ramble about them having to be in a fake relationship undercover,,,, the trope was BUILT for gwart,,,

JSFLKDJ omg ok. anon i am so sorry its been a few days but things got WEIRD and i honestly had nothing so i had to wait bc i want to give u the best ramble abt fake relationship gwart and i so i hope this is good enough to make up for the time sijfosifjsiojfeio (under the keep reading thing cause it accidentally got long ifejoiefjs):

so tbh for them, i cant think of it happening any other way than like, everyone finds out about gwaine’s actual background when his sister/mom/whoever are somehow invited to like. a feast in camelot celebrating whatever occasion (maybe a tournament or whatever. something that lasts for a few days/weeks). bc somehow they get ahold of the list of guests and gwaine recognizes his sisters name and groans and it piques everyone’s interest bc ???gwaine??? not looking forward to being able to publically get drunk?????  u n h e a r d  o f ! !

SO ANYWAY after a bit of...ehm...cajoling...he finally gives up and tells them about his sister and his whole backstory and its like highkey amusing but also its kinda obvious that gwaine really doesn’t like his sister for whatever reason?? so they all just agree to Tease Him But Also Look Out For Him From A Distance (arthur ofc pretends he wants no part of his knights’ business but literally no one is fooled at all. like no even gwaine the Ultimate Himbo is fooled. arthur sweetie be more obvious i dare u).

anyway, however much time passes and the guests arrive and gwaine has a run in with his dear, dear sister. and she’s like. not horrible per se, it’s just that her and gwaine hate each other and seem to be very stupidly competitive. like about every single fucking thing. and its not even amusing insults that they throw each other as they try to one up the other its just. kind of uncomfortable.

OK IK THIS SEEMS UNIMPORTANT BUT BASICALLY WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS IS THAT: she somehow manages to like. say something that he can’t trump. not even with “im a knight of camelot” (which he sooooooo would flaunt in her face like all the fucking time i will not be taking criticism). anyway yes. so she says something he cant outdo, and they’re coincidentally with percival and elyan who have both Had It with this non sense (also they want to help gwaine out bc bros before bros sisters or whatever the fuck).

god this is all just a longwinded way of saying that elyan has the Best Idea Ever and basically just tells gwaines sister that him and the king are fucking. like ok he’s a bit sneaky abt it saying it in vague terms like “you were with arthur last night, right?” and “oh your brother has the kings ear you must be really proud (ironically)(but also Casually)”. and percival realizes whats happening straight away (bc himbos have selective braincells when it comes to messing with their Bros ig??) and jumps in on it adding things like “how are your private training sessions going with him?” and shit jlsjfskdjfslk

and gwaine--

gwaine thinks its ABSOLUTELY GENIUS. he’s like fuck. why didn’t i think of that. sleeping with like a REAL LIFE KING AND SHIT trumps EVERYTHING oh my god. so he jumps right in like “we keep needing to extend the private training sessions because we always get..........~distracted~ *hint hint wink wink*” or other things like “yeah, well his rooms always warmer at night than mine - also his bed” and its so fucking hilarious for them because TECHNICALLY theyre all such vague statements but gwaines sisters face is just. getting redder and redder and she looks like she just ate something very bitter and basically --

operation Make Gwaine’s Sister Jealous is a Success.

but then she calls him out on his fucking bluff. and gwaine is SHAMELESS (and also this might mean that him and the princess will have to put on A Show and he just wants to at least pretend for a second that him and arthur are together, ~like that~ just ONCE alright omfg. but DONT tell anyone that ok. god). so he just goes up to arthur that night and is like “look, princess, my sister’s under the impression that we’re fucking so. could you? help a loyal and dear subject/knight/best friend out and just act like we’re doing that please? thanks!” and arthurs just standing there. gaping at him with his ears ringing bc WHAT?????????????JUST???????HAPPENED???????

and so arthur, you know, validly, is like “gwaine what the actual fuck” in which case gwaine explains what happened (making sure to rat elyan and percival out bc he is a Snitch). and arthur kind of wants to die lmfao bc on the one hand absolutely not but on the other hand... you know.... he kind of doesnt want his knights to look like fucking lying little shits (and also ok. maybe he wants to pretend he and gwaine are together for a second. but he will Never Ever Ever admit that so you did NOT just read that okay? okay.). so somehow these three lil shits rope The King Of Camelot, Best Swordsman In The Five Kingdoms (gwaine disagrees with that part but whatever), Arthur Pendragon The Most Emotionally Constipated Dearie into faking a relationship with a knight just to fuck with said knights sister.

all the others, naturally, find this Absolutely Hilarious when they find out what’s going on and just like. spend the whole time finding ways to tease them and shit osifjoijfioejs its so funny bc gwaine wants it to be real and arthur wants it to be real but they dont know the other wants it to be real but LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS THEY BOTH WANT IT TO BE REAL AND--

im literally so tired they r so fcucking dumb oh my god sljfeijfoisjoiej

so then everytime they see gwaines sister gwaine wraps an arm around arthur (waist, shoulders) and like once, while she’s passing the training grounds while they’re on a break, sitting in the grass and whatnot, he just puts his head in arthurs lap. and arthur is like !!!!!!!!!W H A T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for a split second before his Gay Panic dissolves into just liking the way gwaines hair feels through his fingers when gwaine forces him to start playing with it [the hair] (ITS JUST!!!!!!FOR SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

when the main feast or whatever comes, arthur is like. forced to put gwaine next to him (who is very smug actually) and they’re just sort of dancing around each other the whole night. you know like hands on backs when they whisper in the others ear about some dumb fucking thing (gwaine: “i think you should kiss me just so she really believes it” arthur, losing his mind and forgetting why he’s even saying no: “i am not doing that” gwaine: “well fine, maybe ill just kiss you” arthur: “dOnt youDARE” gwaine: *laughs and winks before walking away*)

also omfg he uses the “princess” petname on arthur in her presence but it comes out so sweet and fond and intimate and ARTHUR!!!!IS!!!LOSING!!!!HIS MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so anyway, at the end of the night as people are (finally) starting to go back to their rooms to sleep, arthur walks gwaine out and they walk together with their arms around each other until they reach the halfway mark between where gwaines retiring to and arthurs rooms. and maybe they r both a lil drunk (sure, jan), but suddenly gwaine kisses arthurs cheek and squeezes his waist as a goodbye.

and actually, his sister is nowhere to be found.