"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"
dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.
but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.
the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.
so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.
we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.
now leave us alone.
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Uhmmmmm soo. Over the past few months I've been seeing a lot of complaints or comments that digimon has too many designs which essentially boil down to “There are too many designs that are just humans in costumes.”
And for a while I just nodded my head and went Yeah Alright, because I Understood where it was coming from (the way most perfect + ultimate levels tend to become more humanoid over their predecessors) and thought it was a valid complaint even if I don’t agree. But eventually it got to the point where I got legitimately invested in wanting to know How Many Digimon there were that you could classify as “basically humans” and well. Here I am.
For the past week or so I came up with my own “categories” and counted how many digimon fit under each category to then later put into a graph like the one you see above ^
I did all of this for like, first and foremost My Own Interest, but I decided to share the results anyways in case someone else thinks this topic of discussion is interesting? I'll include as well under a read more a more in depth guide to the data i've accumulated as well
FYI, Important disclaimers: This is all highly subjective. Im not trying to claim these are any sort of objective categories canon to Digimon or that the results are objectively canon. You may think some or all of these categories are deeply redundant, or you will disagree with me over what counts as say, A Monster or A Furry or A Humanoid, and that’s fine. There are also digimon excluded from the total, most notably digimon that are cameo/minor characters in a singular digimon property, or recolours (ie Gabumon versus Psychemon) or which had minute design differences (Like, almost all of the different Agumons) because I thought including all of that was redundant or unnecessary. If there was a major difference in designs (ie Original Falcomon versus 2006 Savers Falcomon) however I did consider it as a separate design. Also, no X antibody designs were included, because oh my god there are already so many digimon and the X antibody designs could probably merit its own pie chart.
Baby 1 + 2:
Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 89
Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 17
Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries, inclu robotic anthros): n/a
Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: n/a
Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: n/a
Rookie:
Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 73
Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 26
Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries inclu robotic anthros): 7
Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: 7
Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: 4
Adult:
Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 96
Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 51
Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries inclu robotic designs): 18
Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: 23
Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: 6
Perfect:
Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 64
Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 46
Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries inclu robotic anthros): 39
Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: 46
Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: 9
Ultimate + Super Ultimate:
Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 68
Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 41
Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries inclu robotic anthros): 48
Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: 95
Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: 17
Hybrid:
Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 7
Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 4
Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries inclu robotic anthros): 6
Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: 8
Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: 7
Armour:
Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 40
Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 5
Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries inclu robotic anthros): 11
Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: 7
Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: 1
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Fernando 2012 Chair Lore (source: me)
So I've been thinking a lot about Fernando sitting in this particular chair in the Ferrari garage in 2012 for [redacted] reasons:
Originally I just wanted to find more pictures of it for reference, and then went down a rabbit hole of 2012 pictures, trying to figure out when exactly the chair came to be. There's so many pictures of him in it, and it's so funny to me to imagine them hauling this super villain chair all around the world for him. And so now I'm obsessed with the evolution of it:
Pre-Chair - Australia to Bahrain:
He just had this little stool, well I should say big because it somehow still manages makes him look small. Clearly not comfortable; to paraphrase @sweatyflytrap, it's not conducive to his inner Shakespeare villain monologues
The Chair Appears - Spain
He suddenly now has this, aforementioned, super villain chair. Several things, why is it like this. It looks like a sim chair almost ngl. And then the weird plexiglass support is confusing me, like where did they get that. It furthers my narrative they just had this chair that they couldn't put in a car so they put that clear bottom on it. Anyways yes good, now he has somewhere to brood
The Chair Evolves - Silverstone
Look!! They gave him a booster seat!!!
The Chair is Now Here to Stay :)
I downloaded a truly horrible amount of pics him in this chair, so now you all must also look at them >:)
*he still had the chair in 2013, but I think they took it away from him in 2014 :( Is nothing sacred in this world??? I hope he got to take it home hahaha
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