#theyre probably subconsciously making it a bit more comfortable

[sntoot]

first 3 doodles r pretty much directly from this fic, because i’m loving all the interactions in it so much (tho i subbed batu in as the wol because i know how to draw them easily and they would totally ask hythlodaeus can’t use aetherytes??)

i have no explanation for anything else really. hestia always sneaks into my page of sketches bc i like to color their hair

[gettinshiggywithit]

!The BSD Cast With A Reader Who Has A Stalker!

Scenario:- what the bsd characters would do if their s/o had a stalker

Characters included:- dazai,chuuya,kunikida,atsushi,yosano,ranpo,akutagawa (romantic pairings) kenji,kyouka and the tanizakis(platonic pairings)

Genre:-fluff/comfort?

Tw:- mentions of bein stalked and well,a stalker,Teeny bit of cussing

W/C:-2.4k

A/N:-yes this is inspired by my real life no i will not elaborate~

↪️Osamu Dazai

If you tell dazai that you have a stalker,he’d probably joke about it at first.

But when you tell him how serious it had gotten and how stressed and scared it makes you,

He takes it way more seriously.

He obviously has a plan,our little manipulator.

And soon enough he’s threatened the stalker with an entire stack of private and compromising information.

They stop after that.and youre finally at peace.

When you thank dazai he first brushes it off as it havin been nothing at all,but ends it with a serious statement of how no one messes with the people he cares about.

As we know,the worst decision dazai’s enemies could make is making themselves his enemies.

And That stalker realized that the hard way.

↪️Chuuya Nakahara

Chuuya,unlike dazai is a little less calculated.

He has absolutely no issue with using force to make his point clear when he’s pissed(or not.) and you having to live in a constant state of fear because of this asshole is WAY more than enough to piss him off.

He finds the bastard(being a port mafia exec. Really did have its fair share of perks) and pays them a visit himself~

He comes home later that day looking rather pleased with himself and when you ask what he did,

He just says that he took care of it.

You know chuuya like the back of your hand,so you also know that he definitely has no problem with defending what matters to him,no matter what the cost.

So to protect your subconscious,you don’t question him further.

But he sees that youre a little uneasy so,he clarifies that the person isn’t dead.

Theyre just… permanently out of commission and chuuya’s slight look of annoyance tells you that he really didn’t kill the stalker.

You run into his arms and thank him and he hugs you back while pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.

You unwind with wine and dinner and enjoy your first carefree night in quite a while.

↪️Doppo Kunikida

Kunikida is outraged!

How dare these delinquents disrupt your daily life schedule like this!

He MUST do something about it.

Kunikida obviously doesn’t want it to turn into anything too confrontational(not because he wouldn’t fight for you,but because the clean up would require more energy and time than this bastard deserves)

So he calls up katai and has him dig up anything about this stalker of yours.

Soon kunikida has more than enough information to come up with the perfect plan of action.

Blackmail really isn’t his style so he goes for a little something different.

He calls up the stalker and while the bitch is scared shitless,he drops little bits of the info he’s gathered in conversation.(okay yh I lied.blackmail it is.we stan petty kunikida in this house~)

At this point he’s having a conversation with himself so he knows the stalker is definitely shaking with fear.

So he ends the call with a final statement,

“I suggest you leave y/n alone  if you know whats good for you.you wouldn’t want to ruin your entire life now would you?not that you haven’t already by sinking to the level you are already at, of course.”

And he’s met with a shakey “yes,sir…” before the line goes silent permanently.

He let you know you can stop living in fear and you two go over your next days routine.(mans had only allocated a certain amount of time to solve that entire thing okay :’))

↪️Atsushi Nakajima

Atsushi is a gentle soul,bless him,really.

But he was worried af when you told him about your stalker.

He’s determined to keep his s/o safe!

He asks ranpo for help,and is turned away(‘not botheredddd’ ßRanpo’s reply)

So he goes to dazai next.

Dazai obviously suggests blackmail.

Atsushi doesn’t wanna pull a dazai on this one.

So he just calls the number(dazai has it tapped and is using ranpo{he was bribed with candy} to track it) you’d blocked and when he gets a rude response tauting him;daring him to ‘actually do something about it’ he loses it!

Who does this asshole think he is?!

Atsushi fires back saying that he really will and when the stalker cuts the line laughing and repeating that atsushi wouldn’t do shit, he really is ready to go deal some damage.

He walks out into the main area of the ADA to see dazai sitting at his desk with a shit eating grin oh his face,a piece of paper with an address scrawled across it between his middle and pointer fingers.

“here you gooo atsuuushiiiii~~~” he says

Atsushi thanks him and takes off to take care of it.

He comes back in about 2 hours and when you ask him what he did,he simply says that he taught the asshat a lesson on respect!

You get a letter the next day from your stalker and to your surprise,it’s an apology letter which specifies that they’ll never bother you again.

You thank atsushi with a little peck to the lips and hes a complete blushing mess.

We love this fluffy puddy tat(that’s tweety for pussy cat {wan atsushi in the background :- IM A TIGER!})

↪️Ranpo Edogawa

Absolutely obliterates the stalker.

He was bored anyway and you bein in distress was definitely enough to get him to try something.

He too calls up the stalker,but instead of airing out current or recent dirty laundry , he goes straight for their most sensitive and embarrassing childhood and adolescent memories.

How he knows all of this baffles you

But such is the wonder that is ranpo edogawa.

And finally he ends his call with.

“oh and say hi to all the people I put in jail! You’ll be goin there in 3….2….1” and sure enough the police were at the stalker’s door.and they were taken away.

Your praise and thanks have ranpo beaming because as we know,he lives for the applause :”)

Serves em right for not knowing who they were messing with tbh.

↪️Ryunosuke Akutagawa

Akutagawa is peeved to say the least.

Why were such vermin even allowed to live on the same earth as him??

he definitely takes care of it.

Swiftly and elegantly might I add~

Rashoumon leaves the stalker permanently disabled once aku pays them a little visit.

What a waste of space.

He totally roasts the stalker on how useless and pathetic they are.

And finally leaves them with a last threat for initiative “leave y/n alone,or else ill come back and finish what I started.i cannot guarantee that you will survive.but it will certainly be painful.am I making myself clear?”

He’s met with a very petrified piece of shit and he finally kicks said piece of shit away from himself before leaving  swaggering away with his hands in his pockets and a bored look in his eyes.

When he arrives back at your apartment he tells you that you’ll be fine. And if they dare inconvenience you again,to let him know.

You really are grateful for your Mafioso boyfriend

↪️Akiko Yosano

Yosano is pissed

But also delighted!

She’s not delighted cos you have a stalker btw!

Shes delighted cos now she can use her ability on someone….or not ;3

Whatever it is,she gets to play mad scientist with someone she has absolutely no remorse for

Comes back home covered in blood and reassures you that she took care of it,with a shit eating(and slightly concerning ) grin on her face.

You know akiko wouldn’t have killed the stalker…but um youre not totally sure.

When you ask her she sadly says that theyre alive,but when she turns to walk away she whispers a muffles “barely” under her breath.

Either way,shes satisfied with herself~

Very slay of her tbh ;3

↪️Michizou Tachihara

Goes after em.

Buddy grabs his pistols and goes to take care of business himself!

He doesnt care abt protocol in that moment,but he also knows that mori wont give a shit cos its a personal matter

So he’s technically in the clear.

Once at the stalkers door,he knocks twice to get their attention and when her hears the sound of a hand landing on the handle,he shoots and gets em right in the hand!

And in the process of doing so,hes shot through the lock,so he kicks the door open{effortlessly} and confronts the stalker who recognises him immediately (i mean obvs)

Tachihara is a part of the port mafias elite kill squad so he’s no stranger to a messy job,but for the sake of your subconscious, he keeps it comparatively clean,shooting through the stalker’s limbs and beating the shit outta them too!

He cleans up into new clothes at gin and ryunosuke’s before comin back home to you(he knows that if you see him all bloodied up the questions will start)

And let me clarify that mans did this without your knowledge so while you’re watchin a movie that night,you do not know what he did but you find out the next day and immediately know it was him

His thank you was a little kiss on the lips that somehow managed to convey your total appreciation for him in only 3 seconds~

↪️Higuchi Ichiyou

With the way she is when it comes to akutagawa,we know that higuchi would be protective of the ones she loves

So when her s/o is bein terrorised by a stalker,you bet your ass shes gonna take action

Step one: identify the stalker

She covertly follows you around and when she sees the person you’d described to her,she begins to tail them.

When they get home she calmly and quietly walks upto their door and knocks

She then winds back her arm and waits until-

BAM the stalker is met with a face full of fist!

She then takes advantage of their confused state and tackles them to the ground

She bends one arm behind their back and when they try harder to resist,a sickening crunch and a howl of pain is let out

And now that she has their attention,she makes her threat: “leave y/n alone or else you’ll have to deal with the entirety of the port mafia next!”

Ofc this threat doesnt mean anything~

like I mentioned earlier,mori doesn’t give a shit about personal matters so theres no way anyone (else) from the pm would be knocking on ur stalkers door.

But they didnt know that~

So they beg and promise not to bother you anymore.they promise to leave you alone forever.

Higuchi knows that they’re being honest,the fear in their voice is a dead giveaway

So she gets up but then shoots two bullets On either side of the stalkers face,barely missing.

“I hope ive made myself clear” are the last words she mutters before disappearing into the night

And just like that,you were never bothered again.

↪️Yukichi Fukuzawa

President fukuzawa isnt really confrontational unless he has to be

So when you tell him that you have a stalker terrorising you,

He knows what to do

He asks ranpo to deduce the location of said stalker and withink seconds,he does

Then,fukuzawa writes a letter.

A very threatening letter

Your stalker knows all about him

Ofc they would he’s your significant other !

So when they see the letter addressed to them from fukuzawa,they are immediately intrigued

And after reading the letter,theyre fuckin FILLED with fear

They know how powerful and skilled the president of the GODDAM armed detective agency is

So they immediately decide to leave you alone

Death by katana wasnt something they wanted to experience.

So when you tell him how the stalker wasn’t bothering you anymore and how you knew he had to have done something about it,he just replied with

“All i did,

Was write a letter.”

↪️Kenji and kyouka(platonic.i aint writin romantic stuff for them yall.)

↪️Kyouka Izumi

Demon snow to the rescue.

One visit from kyouka’s ability and you’re sure to be okay for the remainder of your life.

The threat of being cut up by a katana wielding demon really does deter people from being creeps~

↪️Kenji Miyazawa

Finds them by using his many connections around town and beats em shitless.

They cant even tell which way’s up when he’s done with em.

Remember, his family motto is "If a cow defies you, strike it with something handy."

Suffice to say you were NEVER bothered by that stalker ,or any other stalker, after that!

↪️Tanizaki Naomi and Tanizaki Junichirou

You were best friends with naomi and thereby junichirou,and while their relationship weired out a lot of new people at the agency,you’d really never cared much abt it

So when you told them abt your stalker issue they were both worried.

This wasnt good for you or your mental health

So junichirou took it upon himself to take care of the situation

Naomi had you distracted the entire day with a whole day out of shopping and just FUN

Meanwhile junichirou had found the stalkers address and confronted them himself

As we all know,a pissed off junichirou is a SCARY junichirou

So you can bet the stalker tried to run

But as usual,

LIGHT SNOW TO THE RESCUEE

After the stalker thinks they’ve gotten away he appears behind them,with a gun pointed straight at their temple.

He threatens to pull the trigger (he wouldn’t)

And when the stalkers begs him not to,promising to leave you alone.

He scoffs and fires a bullet that just manages to graze their cheek.

He then lets the illusion break away as he disappears himself

After that,youre happy and you feel so FREE

You’re back to your old self again and the tanizakis fist bump to their success!

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please

Taglist open for anyone interested!

[rust-is-a-car-disease]

Thinking abt cheongryeo

dod spoilers!

Keep in mind i dont know a lot abt the related industries this is all opinions

Cheongryeo himself is such an interesting character. I find that he is so incredibly well written and thats amazing.

Usuallg people depict a lot of psychos as the innocent ^^ expression guys. And thats fun and all and i very much still enjoy him being depicted that way but i love that he definetely gives of more :) energy to me.

Like hes not mean? Hes actually pretty nice to people around him as far as it seems with how positive his image is that people are comfortable featuring him with puppies. You dont do that with people known to be cruel as far as i know and hes actually overall quite a decent and nice guy. And he has had a long enough career that even after the regression time period he could get ruined.

And his relationship with his members arent hostile either! Theyre have a bit of distance between them but its not because hes particularly mean. His dynamic with them is just more so of a leader and normal members in the sense of the person in charge + everyone else but not to the extent of a boss or superior.

But the thing is that they are also quite intimidated by him. I think part of it at least is unconciously or conciously his single minded drive to be the best idol for the longest time possible. Its not bad... its just unsettling and we as the reader know for a fact why but they dont at first so its like they just see a guy with such a single minded driven focus that has probably made a lot of unreasonable decisions that help them unexpectedly and he doesnt seem to care for much else.

He had no life outside of idol work and not in the same way as moondae who seems to merge idol work with his life. Moondae tends to more have his idol life bleed into his non idol life and that develops into less idol life and more his general life and thats a great comparison i think to cheongryeo who literally only has idol life. It seems explainable to us because we know the context but to them they see a guy not just buried in work but have a complete lack of life outside of it. (And i know context makes a difference because of the impact it has in mostly later chapters but ill get to that later)

And he doesnt even know what to do outside of idol work when he starts to learn to be a person again! I think thats very telling of how he acts. Because he has based every bit of himself on idol work he has nothing left and has no idea where to start. And its probably a bit unsettling to have someone so focused on their career that they have just nothing else. Not in a oh no this was like his like shtick thing way but just completely non existent.

I think that single minded focus is at least unconciously intimidating or unsettling even if they dont notice. Because people are like plants with several branches, grows in unrefined and crossing over each other and changeable with sticks but cheongryeo only has this one branch, his idol life, and its his everything. He doesnt even seem that connected to the metaphorical trunk which would be his pre regression time! He has this one branch with these few sticks because he keeps cutting off everything he deems 'trash' (as like his characteristic). He only stops after his forgotten 101th probably because of his subconscious making him redo a large part if not his whole perspective. And even then its still just a single branch, still just his idol life. He only really gets other branches in his life after all his regressions when he gets kongi. (I could elaborate more but again later)

This leads me into his obsession. Because idol work was literally his entire life and has been his actual lifeline for so long he knows nothing else. So when he finds out the next person (moondae) he obsesses over it. Because in a way he is still obsessing over a perfect idol career even if hes not working on the assumption that he would return too.

As long as someone can go back even if its not him he would always have a chance to perfect his idol career.

Eugh i have so many thoughts that intersect with each other but im hungry so im going to continue another time

[love-me-purple]

Can any of you guys pls do pregame Kaito, korekiyo, and gonta with a gender neutral cry baby s/o? Like theyre all sensitive and tend to cry even when theyre happy???

Of course! Here are the pre - game personalities I came up with for the three of ‘em first:

Kaito : Basically Mod Celestia’s headcannons

Korekiyo : People think he’s weird - and overall they feminize him for his long hair (no hate to my guys with long hair tho). He doesn’t really care, after all - he has you and his sister to comfort him throughout the teasing and criticism. Fascinated with the people around him, always caught staring creepily at others. But he has a fairly good reason, nothing related to being a pervert - he just likes … observing. He loves the executions in Danganronpa, liking the creativity and truth behind the brutal deaths … roped you into watching it too - always inviting you over every weekend.

Gonta : Easily provoked and definitely has anger issues. More street smart than school smart. His appearance and usual furrowed eyebrows always throw people off, but he means well … usually. He’s a bit of a bully, only to people who hurt him or his friends. Very protective. Always liked seeing his least favorite people die in Danganronpa - and when his favorites died, he’d break something in anger or annoyance. But under that layer of easily provoked hostility, there’s a bit of a softie underneath. One that gives great marshmallow hugs.

with that said, enjoy!

cw: cursing

a/n: heyy anon , you didn’t make it clear so I’m just gonna write headcannons. But if it isn’t to your taste, I can re - do it! Thanks for requesting :)

𝐊𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨

➼ He’s immediately all over you, asking if he didn’t something wrong and subconsciously mildly yelling at you - within good reason, of course.

➼ You both were cuddling with each other, and then you just started tearing up - did he hurt you by hugging you too hard or something?

➼ He’d probably say something like, “Oh fuck - are you okay?! Did I do something wrong?!” If you ever started crying during one of those tender moments, his voice getting progressively louder as he talked. ➼ But once you reassured him that you were just happy, he’d calm down and sigh in relief - telling you not to scare him like that.

➼ Now at times where the tender moments weren’t currently happening, he’d be more upset with himself if you cried over him raising his voice at you or being mildly annoyed with something that you did. ➼ But of course he doesn’t mean to hurt you. So he always wraps you in a hug to make up for it, and meanwhile he learns to bring that softer side of him out in the process - making him nicer to others as well.

➼ Overall, win - win for the both of you!

𝐊𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐲𝐨

➼ He’s mellow about it. At least, that’s how he is on the outside. On the inside, he’s definitely taken aback.

➼ He also has a small panic attack on what to do. You’re crying?! Oh shit - it’s probably his own fault. He probably did something to make you cry - oh he didn’t deserve you at all. Those kinds of thoughts.

➼ He traces small circles against the small of your back with his slender fingers, trying to soothe you down and ask why you’re crying. ➼ Once he voices his concerns, you explain that you’re just crying because of the overwhelming happiness you’re feeling - you know, the feeling that you’re actually loved by someone after Korekiyo had kissed your forehead (after taking off his mask) and expressed that he loved you more than anyone else in the world.

➼ He immediately brightens up and kisses you on the lips - grateful that those were tears of joy and not … whatever bad thing he did.

➼ Now, if he were ever to not be in one of those situations and you started crying because of something he did that upset you, he’d immediately regret it and panic outwardly.

➼ He’d hug you tightly and touch foreheads with you, not really caring if your tears ruined his clothes and whatnot.

➼ He’d also apologize a LOT, even getting on his knees for you. He really loves you like that, it’s just up to you if you accept it or not.

𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚

➼ He may look angry, but in reality he’s very worried. He also acts a bit insensitive, but he really doesn’t mean to.

➼ He backs off, not wanting to scare you any more.

➼ But he’s a bit confused when you approach him again, reaching out for an embrace.

➼ Once you explain, he accepts your embrace and hugs you in the most BONE - BREAKING way possible.

➼ Thankfully you didn’t break anything (that you know of), and so he continued to hug you - sobbing and saying that he’s so glad that you feel happy in his presence, or something like that.

➼ But if he ever raised his voice and / or lifted his hand and made you flinch, he’d definitely sob 2x more and give you more tighter hugs, not wanting to give you the impression that everyone else had already labeled him as. A monster.

➼ He’d then baby you for the next 24 hours, and maybe even more, giving you everything you want or need.

➼ Overall, he’s a giant caretaker - making sure no one hurts you in any way and soothing you to the max. I wish I had someone like that

I’M SO SORRY IF THIS ISN’T WHAT YOU WANTED PLS DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK AGAIN AHHHH

[heys0ulmate]

lottie being really abusive. pre crash, she starts by taking advantage of nats drug/alcohol dependency. lottie probably makes a move on her while nat is intoxicated and thats how it starts. she fucks her and then takes care of her. once shes gotten a taste, she cant stop, and shes probably realy persistent. it makes nat uncomfortable but lottie knows how to read people, how to read her, and she adjusts her pursuit tactics. instead of approaching her the second theyre in the same proximity, she begins giving nat space. she starts doing the less forward things, like subtly defending nat from rude comments, offering rides in poor weather, only coming up to nat at parties when shes alone. it settles natalies nerves a bit and lottie starts taking opportunities to strike. she shows nat a type of kindness that shes unused to, but begins to accept. and lottie can tell the affect is has on her. she knows nat is unused to praise or support and she uses that to her advantage. eventually, lottie kisses her while theyre sober and they start something up.

lottie uses her kindness as a weapon, the way nats parents used to when she was a kid. and nat does subconsciously recognize this, but its so hard bc the love lottie shows her is so much more tender and special than her parents' ever was. she also knows lottie has some personal issues she takes meds for and doesnt wanna be an asshole for getting mad at behavior she may not be able to control. i mean, that def plays a role, but lottie mostly confided in her about her mental health to seem vunerable w nat and encourage her to lower her defense.

anyways, lottie basically fronts as the perfect girlfriend most the time. she was patient, and respectful. she called people out for talking shit about nat, and would reassure her that she isnt defined by what people say. everything lottie did was meticulously done to gain natalies full trust. make her trust her. become the one and only true person natalie really had in every way.

but i honestly think that it was largely subconscious and not necessarily planned on lotties part. at least initially. like she doesnt think of it as manipulation, or abuse, she genuinely thinks this is her being a good girlfriend. she thinks these are the steps to be taken in order to have someone love u. and on top of that, lotties perception of love is having someone obey you, for lack of a better word. she wants to be worshipped and listened to and to be fully in control. thats what a relationship looks like in lotties mind. shes just going about achieving that without understanding fully how wrong it is.

it was mostly the manipulation at first, which morphed into being verbally cruel when nat does something she doesnt approve of. whether it be natalie hanging out w her friends w/o telling lottie, or getting too drunk, or being off her game at practice. eventually when she gets more physical in addition to the verbal and emotional abuse, she starts to slip more consciously into that role. the first time she hits nat is because natalie got stoned w kevyn without telling lottie. nothing much different than what lottie has simply berated her for in the past, but lottie she doesnt apologize or show remorse. she wants natalie to believe she deserves it. and a part of lottie thinks she does, too. which is why she starts to more casually and consistently use violence as a tool to maintain respect and control. and when she senses natalie is closing off, maybe considering leaving her, lottie reverts back to being sweet and kind and loving, until natalie seems comfortable and willing again. overtime, lottie masters a balance between the abuse and affection to assure nat never breaks up with her, and stays under lotties thumb.

it helps that lottie often talks down to nat, since it makes natalie believe anything lottie says about her is true, cus lottie never talks shit unless someone deserves it. so maybe she really is worthless, and unlovable to anyone but lottie. maybe she does deserve to be hit sometimes, because lottie is so good to her and nat is just a burnout

[jemmo]

in your last reply you said something about pat that made me want to appreciate a subtext in writing in his character. the fact he doesn't dwell on his love for pran (a man) not with himself even as an idea before a spoken word. why is it good and the only way i actually saw it happening? because in earlier episodes he'd joke around pran about "make me your boyfriend" "let's say we're boyfriends" and other times pretty often those words later on if the character is in a crisis over loving a man and acting hostile and all about it, makes you think, so when they said this before what did it feel like? i only mean to say that it was good to see that acceptance of self, the openness, how when you look back at what he said you can see those two feelings in these jokes at the time or were they ever?

and that again drives me to the 3nd of ep4, "if you were her, would you like me?" it was never a question of impossibility. not a gender impossibility. it was not "if you were a woman" it was truly a just "if you were ink, the person", would that be more heartbreaking or less to pran if he understood it at the time?

i don't know if this makes sense even but it just is beautiful to me.

anon you make perfect sense and this is such a perfect addition to everything i said about this before!!!! i didnt even think about this at the time but it really does apply and fits so perfectly

bc as you said, he so commonly around pran makes jokes about being his boyfriend. and yes you can read into this as him subconsciously knowing his feelings before the big ep 5 oh moment, but apart from that it really does speak to just how comfortable he is with that idea, how simply normal it is in his head. never when he says those lines is it with a tone like 'lol imagine if we were boyfriends how gay would that be lol'. instead those lines show us that he is completely fine with the idea of 2 men being in a romantic relationship, comfortable enough that he can play flirt with another man about being his boyfriend. and its not even like by saying that, it makes him gay, or even bi. saying those lines are not a statement on his sexuality, theyre a statement on seeing a homosexual relationship as a normal, exactly the same as any other relationship. which is really, truly perfect setup for how he doesnt get hung up on liking a man, bc its already been established that he's absolutely fine with it. he was fine with it as a concept in the world around him and now he's just as fine with it applying to him, being a part of him, who he is. he truly isnt changed bc he realizes he likes a man bc there's no reason for that to change him. he is still the same pat we've always known, he's just a bit gay now.

and i love what you said about that ink question, bc it says a lot about the message the show is conveying that i never saw that question as 'if you were a woman would you like me'. im not gonna say bad buddy is like this genderless show where gender doesnt matter, bc some characters are very clearly homosexual, its not just a bi party for everyone. but i think in terms of the romances presented, it is so much more about falling in love with a person more than falling in love with a gender. and not in that classic BL 'im not gay i only like him' way no no, not at all, p'aof would never. its more that when these characters are looking at the people they love, gender is a part of it but its not the first thing they see. they see all those details and traits that make them fall for that person. and you can see how gender still plays a role bc for pat and pran, i feel like there's things they like about each other that are very much based on them being men. take pat's thing for smell for instance. im not saying men magically, inherently smell masculine, but at the same time you cant tell me pat likes how pran smells bc he uses a really nice brand of detergent. its probably a mix of everything that is so uniquely pran, and a part of that is the smell of his sweat, the saltiness on his skin. idk how else to describe it it just strikes me as a thing that is very masculine, a thing that you would find attractive about a man, the fact he smells like a man.

im kinda getting lost here but really, what i want to say is that i love how gender is neither an issue or a non-issue. it just exists, its a part of everyone, and it doesnt matter but also matters at the same time yknow. i dont know how else to describe it but i just love it bc this is very much my view of the world too. you cant erase gender entirely bc it is an integral part of us as humans, and yet it doesnt define us. we are so much more. and bad buddy encapsulates that for me perfectly.

[dyketubbo]

when you get a chance, thoughts on seer of space tubbo?

(i am also open to maid of space tubbo, and many others, but i am currently seer leaning)

*wakes up* oh boy time to classpect! under the readmore because seers are interesting enough that i ended up going on a tangent

of course no argument about the aspect because hes 100% a space player, ive discussed heir before i believe, so seer analysis it is, because i havent thought about it before (seers slip my mind sometimes, i love them, my brain is just the equivalent of a ground with a bunch of banana peels and cant handle having more than 4 coherent thoughts at a time).

like said with knights, he doesnt exactly try to tell anyone what he wants to come off as, sure he wants to be intimidating enough that people leave him alone, but, well. he does fit the intimidating thing, its less a facade and more a warning, he doesnt want to hurt anyone, but he will should he deem it necessary (thankfully, tubbos kind enough that he deems it unecessary in most cases). hes a bit too likely to follow through, and its bred from feeling unsafe, rather than feeling insecure. c!tubbo knows he can do things, the cc is more likely to downplay what he does than the character is (not that c!tubbo doesnt, but he does still believe in his abilities, he just doesnt think hes important enough to emphasize his impact. difference between going "oh no it was all __" and going "oh no it wasnt just me" when theres something hes done most of the work on)

so, he almost fits knight, at least in abilities, after all knights are capable and they know theyre capable, and hes very good at the exploitation aspect, pushing limitations and using them for their benefits. i could see him as maybe a knight thats actually gotten past the insecurity and facades already, if we're to consider his spy history as him being pre-actualization. being a space player doesnt really change how solid knight arcs are, so the combination of knight and space doesnt make knight much more fitting for tubbo

similarly, he does fit a few aspects of being a seer (having similar struggles, talking a shitton sometimes, sitting back and observing the world around him when he finds it beneficial to do so, generally very smart especially within their group), but not so much others (seers are often overbearingly smug in a way tubbos a bit too humble for, learning through education rather than experience, having a habit of getting too focused on their goal, and theyre overall passive, being too active is actually how they get themselves into shit, while tubbo gets hurt when hes too passive). seers of space focus more on the present than the future or past, which almost fits tubbo.. if it werent for the fact that he doesnt focus on the future or past out of repression cknsks. not that he would much anyways, but the intentional focus on the present is out of stubborness and trauma rather an actual trait of staying in the present. notably, theres quite a few times where tubbo does think about the past and future, especially when he was younger, and he does try to work towards his ideal future, he just doesnt talk about it much.

funnily enough, because of where seer falls through, he ends up being closer to the mage struggle of, well, getting their asses kicked when theyre too passive because things work out best when theyre involving themselves. mages also have that posturing thing as well, though its connected to intelligence (desperately trying to come off as smarter because they believe theyre still too dumb and naïve, even though theyre actually doing fine), so again, not exactly tubbos kind of posturing. plus, hes pissy, but not pissy enough for a mage, as theyre more likely to get caught up in how fed up they are with everything, while tubbo gets caught up in how much he still cares no matter how much he seems like he doesnt. the space aspect adds that theres.. a shitton of shit happening to and around him, which does fit, at least, and mages of space usually suffer because of their passions, knowledge, and experience, as well as they're rather hands on. again, fits, but, well.

seers and mages are a bit too focused on knowledge for the kind of person tubbo is. hes smart for sure, has a lot of knowledge, and even when hes not a spy he does want to know things and looks for that knowledge, but while he fits the goals and positives of seers (and mages), he doesnt exactly fit their flaws or what happens when theyre unhealthy. not that he needs to show signs of being unhealthy, but even healthy players still show an ability to be the unhealthy versions of their classes. he doesnt get his ass kicked for being too active and tunnel visioned like seers do (and it can sometimes come from ego trips, which tubbos very unlikely to have, even if he fits the "my solution is the most correct here, so we have to follow it" part of it all) like seers, he doesnt have any moments of just refusing to learn and complaining about how everything sucks rather than doing anything about it (nor is he likely too) like mages. he does vaguely fit where the unhealthiness of a knight can come in, propping up a shield to a ridiculous extent and lashing out when their insecurites are picked at, but that feels a bit too reckless to be tubbo (though it does fit tommy).

overall, i can kind of see seer for a slightly different version of tubbo, but it feels too passive for tubbo, if that makes sense. he is passive at least, in terms of classes anyways (note- despite how some classpectors define it, passive doesnt really mean you serve others, its not an insult, it just means you weave your aspect through others, rather than yourself. its the difference between a prince destroying x/destroying through x and a bard allowing destruction of x/inviting destruction through x. still listen to passive classes, thats what seers fall into after all, and seers are very important). its just that tubbo usually gets hurt by being too passive rather than getting hurt by being too active (not that it couldnt happen, which is why i say it could still fit under other circumstances).

speaking of passive v active, if i had to pick a passive class i feel fits tubbo the most, probably heir. active wise, id say maid does actually fit rather well. i feel like ive talked about maid tubbo before but i might be remembering a different analysis so just in case ill generally say i feel he fits the arc of going from a "doormat" to taking their life for themselves. theyre stubborn, stressed out from listening to others, like banter, occassionally silly and can start arguing in circles due to the stubborness (think that one patrick id scene, but smarter). maids are also heavy repressers, they fear being seen as weak, and are unwilling to ask for help. they rely on their environment and hate it.

and, painfully enough, some classpectors state that when pushed into being unhealthy, maids explode. maids are already intimidating on their own, being powerful and smart enough to know what to do with that power, and when they get stressed out enough, they, well, explode. they hurt everyone in one big event (think aradias actions in make her pay). its not necessarily a reckless lashing out at everyone like knights, but a giant burnout that happens to effect everyone. tubbos not at a point where it seems likely for this to happen, but i wouldnt be too surprised if something like it did happen were things to get too be too much. he is the mf with nukes after all. healthy maids are independent, with maids of space specifically, well, making space for themselves and others (sound like a certain snow commune anyone), attempting to start new lives. an independent maid, allowed to be their own person without anyone stepping on them, is a healthy maid. unfortunate for tubbo that his life fucking sucks too hard for him to really get to this point KEKW

heirs fit a similar "followed others then became more independent" arc, mostly unaware that theyre being lead around but, if whats happening aligns with their own ideals, dont really care much that theyre being a follower when they are aware of such. heirs have an instinct to stick to comfort, rather than an instinct to be independent like maids. heirs still need to find their independence and autonomy, but need to do so because they can change things, theyre also very powerful when they play correctly. however, going against what they may feel is best and is more comfortable for them can be actively painful, early heirs often would rather be comfortable and happy even if things arent going well than take the difficult route, know that theyll suffer, and temporarily risk comfort and happiness in an attempt to reach an end they dont know will be there for sure. they can deal with suffering, but choosing to stay constantly aware of this suffering hurts and they struggle with dealing with the fact that they need to be aware to stop the suffering.

heirs change by picking up on subtle details naturally, subconsciously effecting those around them, making either themself or others interact with their aspect differently (or actively not think with their own aspect, in a positive way). heirs, when self aware, want to help. thats an important detail, and its why heirs are often protagonists, they dont have the ambition to do things that only benefit themselves when they realize theyre in a position of power. at their core, heirs usually want to make things better, but learning to move on and better themselves can hurt, and it takes a lot for heirs to to let it be apart of the process.

unhealthy heirs fade. they get so stressed out by getting hurt that they shrink back into themselves, they stick with what makes them comfortable and refuse to acknowledge that they and others are hurting, wrapped up in their more selfish instincts and becoming hard and stressful to deal with. "i want everything to be okay" becomes "i dont want to deal with the idea that nothings okay right now", soon getting to "im okay and you cant tell me otherwise, fuck you if you want to take this away from me, you cant stop me but i will stop you". of course, that last one can be useful if a heir were to use it to change things for the better, but the tunnel vision on "i want to be comfortable even if im making others uncomfortable" is, well. shitty. unhealthy heirs wont actively try to hurt anyone unless pushed, but they can they can still manage to through a lack of acknowledging that they have to help. and well, that sounds somewhat like tubbo, the hurting through a lack of helping, at the very least its present in things like him not visiting tommy during exile (partially because it was safer to just not challenge dream, partially out of guilt and belief that tommy hated him)

heirs of space specifically are about flitting from project to project, learning about what interests them, impatient when others dont share their excitement, and learning when to adapt and move on from things. generally, if i had to put a scale on it, id say tubbos most likely to be a heir, then a maid, then a seer. it all depends on what aspects of him you wanna focus on, really. seer tubbo is really interesting though! i think seers are more smug than he is though, not that he doesnt have his moments, but his tendency to believe hes right isnt all too prominent compared to other traits of his, and its less from a smug "i know whats right" and more just a firm "this isnt right, i have a better idea". he wants to do whats right, but if he feels like he doesnt know whats right, hes willing to rely on others, it just.. takes him a bit of pushing to admit such

[normal-thoughts-official]

not to be writing about high school fucking musical in the year of our lord 2020 but i feel like the most criminally underrated aspect of chyan is that their characters have quite literally the same core

meaning, they are both very loyal, in such a way that they allow themselves to be overshadowed by people with less talent than them

troy is the captain of the basketball team. but he's not what brings the team together. dont get me wrong, he's not a bad captain. you see that in Getcha Head In The Game and Work It Out, he's actually pretty good at getting people to follow him and he can take a basketball practice on his own. he's good

but chad's better

chad's the one who keeps morale up. chad's the one who devises important plans and strategies. chad's the one who can get everyone to agree with him and set their plans in motion. in hsm1, all the other basketball players are constantly following his lead. whether they're sabotaging troy or apologizing to him and trying to make it better, theyre always following chad. they talk a big game about how they need troy to keep the team together, but in all 3 movies there's a point where troy is angsting and ends up leaving the team to its own devices, and honestly, they turned out to be pretty damn fine without him dedicating himself to them, every time. in fact, it looks like other characters wouldnt even have had a problem with troy fucking off to do his thing if chad weren't there to convince them that they needed troy

i firmly believe that the reason troy is captain and not him is (racism and favoritism for being the coach's son aside) precisely because chad always hyped troy up. that is shown subtly in many ways. even as chad was the one to scream "what team?" he always had his hands on troy's shoulders. when they went to party in hsm1, chad put troy on top and had him be carried. he gave troy the game ball. he said "who voted troy team captain?" to which their teammates replied "we do". it always looked to me like what made the basketball team flock around troy wasnt troy himself, but chad. and chad was such a great leader in that sense that no one ever realized that, maybe not even himself. he was just good at getting people together to follow a common goal, see themselves as a team, and set them on a same path. but he channeled that to troy, instead of allowing himself to be seen as the actual leader. almost as if he couldn't believe, himself, that he had the means for that, so he had to say that it was troy who brought them together, make troy the face of the team, because he couldn't see himself as it (and there's probably a good chunk of racism and internalized racism coming into play here)

(also, not to excuse the hsm1 bullshit, but that might explain why he was so pissed that troy wanted to sing. because deep down, he knew that he was bringing the team together, and that he cared more than troy, and maybe he felt like troy wasnt doing justice to his role as team captain because he knew that that role wasn't rightfully troy's, and he felt betrayed because he quite literally gave troy that position)

(again, not excusing it, and i think all of this happened on a subconscious level, and it's not really troy's fault that this happened - he's too stupid to be this manipulative lbr, i think it's more that white privilege blinded him to what was happening - but i think it was definitely there)

ryan follows a similar theme. again, it's not that sharpay isn't talented. she's very talented as a singer and performer

but he's more

he's a better dancer, he has more stage presence, he's a better actor and he channels way more emotion than she does. plus he actually coreographs and creates artistically, and it's clear to me that, while sharpay loves the spotlight, he loves the art. not to acknowledge hsm3 canon, but he got the juilliard scholarship. he coreographed all the musical for their prom. he coreographed with like a thousand wildcats in hsm2 and actually got them all to do a pretty rad job. he even got the dumb anti musical jocks to participate, and do it well

but well, sharpay always overshadowed him because, quite frankly, he let her, same as chad (i mean she had a more active role in purposefully overshadowing him than troy did chad but still). that's actually acknowledged in canon so i dont feel like i need to expand a lot on it, but sharpay purposefully put ryan down and tried to dull his light and he let her, because he had this weird sense that he needed to do this with her

(i dont really know why, but i theorize that it might be because doing theatre with sharpay makes the fact that hes the Gay Theatre Kid slightly less visible. like, if he's doing this whole gimmick with sharpay, they're the weird art twins, but if he's alone, he's the artsy gay guy. sharpay taking all the attention is even kind of good, because the attention on him for what he does would be all but 100% negative. also, we see in hsm2 that his father has this thing with him and always trying to adjust his hat and change his outfits and other small micromanaging attitudes that show that he's not 100% comfortable with who ryan is and how he expresses himself. but if ryan is helping sharpay, then it's a bit more bearable for him, because its not his son, flamboyant twinkle town kid, its his son and daughter, artistic duo)

anyway. and its funny because in hsm2, when they got all gay for each other, they both were kind of forcefully ripped away from the shadow casters. and ryan realized for the first time that he thrived and did just as well, maybe better, without sharpay, but chad didn't. ryan emancipated himself from sharpay (or well, began to, because its not that easy, but it was a huge step), but chad didn't emancipate himself from troy. in fact, i think his association with him may have gotten stronger

and it would be so interesting to me to see more fics where they bond over that, and help each other realize that they do stand up on their own, and that they deserve recognition for their talents and to spread their wings. it would be particularly nice to see chad realize that he's been sabotaging himself this whole time, and watch him grow more confident and aware of his capabilities and use them to bring himself up along with the team, instead of standing in the sidelines after carrying them on his back

it would be beautiful to see them bond over that and grow and flourish together

[godstiel-coded]

Semi-coherent Dean-centric rambles

Okay so a lot of this is non sensical, tangential, and a lot is copy n pasted from my rants in hell so please join me in partaking in shrimp emotions in this dennys

Okay so first off I got thinking abt post purgatory 1.0 bc of a post you can see if you scroll a bit and I mean like its so entirely possible that Cas sat beside Dean while he slept on the ground and kept a hand on him while he slept fitfully (dean couldnt be On him that'd impede cas' defense if monsters arrived) and he probably couldn't stand the thought of sleeping in his dingy motel woth Cas' hand resting on his shoulder as he sots on the other side of the bed, deep in thought because Sammys a smart kid he'd know that Dean wouldn't let anyone else do that he'd know that Dean hadn't slept that well in years like??? He would feel vulnerable and therefore take it out on Cas but Cas would be confused y'know in Heaven he was a soldier so you watch over those who cant fight (none of them sleep but surely theyve been injured) so to him its no big deal of course if it was someone else he'd sit across the room but he hears Deans yearning as prayer and knows the tether to something familiar helps him sleep so of course he would sit beside him while he slept as he always did in purgatory!!

And like yknow from there I cant help thing about how so much of Destiel is "of course" Like its Such a destiel phrase and I can't stop thinking about it because like it almost seems like "I need you to take me for granted so at least I know I belong by your side" vibes. As long as its "of course" that means its recognised as intrinsic as necessary as expected not something they can discard Aaaaa!! *of course* I would do anything for you is permission to expect anything to be done its its this acknowledgement that they don't need to talk about it because the answer is always yes!!

Yknow *of course* cas woukd watch dean sleep after purgatory because thats what they do thats what they had been doing but Dean he'd feel so damn Exposed like anyone could see it on his face that he doesn't have an Excuse now he's topside but Cas he doesn't need an excuse because *of course* he would wait patiently for dean to wake because dean needs his sleep and cas needs dean on the top of his game and dean hates to sleep alone anyways what reason does he have to Not like obviously there is something he can do that is painless thst is easy that comforts and lulls Dean and ensures he is resting deeply (relative) and safely like Cas would watch the world burn for Dean *of course* he would sit on his shitty motel bed, calm and still, hand resting on Dean's shoulder so that the warmth can soothe his subconscious. A few hours is nothing to Cas nothing at all why would he not why would he expect such a strong rejection after everything they've been through this seems like an "of course" to him and he knows Dean he knows ot would help him sleep and Dean knows it too but be knows that if it was anyone else it'd hardly make a difference so he feels vulnerable aaah okay okay I'm talking myself on circles

And yknow what *of course* Dean would grieve like a widow for Cas because Cas deserves to not be forgotten not when no one else even knows him not when theyre the only ones who Can remember him except Sam is pretty much okay but Dean is drowning in the sorrow and Cas will never know that!! Cas will think Dean pushed through it like everything else and why would Dean tell him because *of course* he must know, Cas seems to know everything about him how could he ever think Dean would be okay without him

So naturally, *of course* Dean prays every night and *of course* Cas listens to every word because they have intricate gay rituals and all hell seems to break loose (sometimes literally) the more they deviate from them!!

It just breaks me inside because Mr. Repression and misery himself loves Cas like its the only viable option and even when he panics and rejects him or shuts down *of course* its not really how he feels and Cas loves Dean like he's the only thing worth loving (minus his son) because *of course* he is and Dean cant fathom that because hes one of trillions of humans and aaaahhhh what better success story could there have been than for Dean to learn not o lt that Cas loves him but to see in himself what Cas does and yeah we get a little bit of that in 15x19 but he deserved to Live that Truth with Cas right there beside him

And yknow through all of this its Sam who he's known for being most codependent with and that makes sense because Dean picks Sam first priority because he doesn't know who he is without being Sams Mommy big brother and he mourns Cas like That because without Cas he doesn't know who he wants to be and the MOC lecture about how when Dean destroys all the world Cas will be the one left to watch yknow the past and present have always been Sam but in the future he dares to hope for Sam is safe and sound marrying someone or something, living the life he wants but not unreachable and Cas is the one by his side so yeah he has to choose Sam bc Sam is the basis of who he thinks he is and he just simply can't give up on that part of himself or lose Sam and live knowing he failed him but losing Cas hits like a bag of bricks because he loses his best friend and feels he fails him but he also loses his hope for who he could be the people they could be together the life he craves when he dares to hope for the light at the end of the long series of progressively larger guns the tunnel

He deserved a success story damn it and what bigger success could there be than Dean learning that someone could choose to love him flaws and all I mean from 15x18 to 15x19 we saw Cas words hit home and he finally said he Is more than daddys blunt instrument and he said it to the one who created his fate and thats bc Cas like imagine what could come of a few years to decompress and to *live* the life they earned the life they could build together

They deserved it. We deserved it.

[Image description : colored banner reading "WINCEST/BIBROS FANS DNI"]

[pliskin]

im gonna talk about some doomvega stuff idk where else to post it 

slayer hc

I like selective mute slayer the most... nonverbal communication most of the time, his body language/expression vega gradually eases into learning, then for longform communication its typing into vega’s console, morse code into vega’s palm (<3) or sign language.  the few times he speaks is very curt and short, maybe just quick affirmation from vega for whatever (kisses <3) and the gayest reason of all... so he can say vega’s name tenderly 

lots of hobbies, which is more or less canon, but it's cute to think about... particularly his cooking magazines make me think he would be a good cook in a umm domestic au... but I like that he enjoys many creative things also like reading/writing/music, in addition to a scientific/engineering bg, hes kind of like... full package husband material

I dont have a ton of slayer hcs... I think hes mostly introverted, more into his hobbies, cultured... I think my only self-indulgent not canon compliant hc is he gets embarrassed easy and pretty expressive but has rbf.  hes like the shy boyfriend in the “excuse me he said no pickle” meme with vega

vega hc

vega for drawing purposes I like to make an android, tho in a fic im more inclined to regular AI vega especially in character studies and introspective writing... there's something a lot more poignant about vega reminiscing about almost being shut down while not assuming any kind of physical form... idk im just talking about what I like on a scale bc I love tons of vega interpretation

android vega:  I like to imagine an android body was created for vega per samuel’s instruction a little bit after vega became operational... kind of like a flex to match with uac creating the first cyborg body as well.  since samuel is a bit of a dick to his dad he doesnt make him w maykr proportions in mind and instead vega is given a very average human male body: about six feet tall, gentle (fatherly -_-) disposition, dark hair and brown skin, unnatural blue eyes... I think this would be good for vega to “blend” into the personnel, build camaraderie w him, though I think samuel would pull the plug on it in the long run for reasons my brain can’t put together atm lol.  this kind of self-indulgent but I like vega’s “virtual age” being 50 bc he’s samuel’s dad, and I like vega w a completely average body but thin waist like a maykr... which is a subconscious decision by samuel bc hes more accustomed to makyr bodies... but I am also just a bastard that wants thin waist dilf vega

this is maybe a reach of the fortress’s resources but I think the slayer could manage to build the same body for vega he had on the base if vega gave him the materials and instructions for it... just like a project, nothing exactly urgent, vega’s body slowly being worked on until completion.  but then... the slayer finds himself a bit attached because vega is like 100x more pleasant and soothing when he can see vega smiling at him.  im corny

I also like vega being a bit catty and passive-aggressive, but in his customer service voice.  he’s definitely not a doormat as an AI, and hes a lot more direct as umm god.  god vega I like aesthetically (SO MUCH) but I think I will hold back on my interpretation till ancient gods.  even his visual design I know will be probably significantly different from that 6-wing maykr angel concept art (if hes shown at all) but I like the aesthetic of it and will probably keep that if no canon physical body for vega is shown...

doomvega hc

very slow burn... mostly on vega’s part, but I like the almost innate way the slayer is more friendly/gentle with vega and his upgrade bots, so I think the slayer is sweet on vega

vega wondering about why the slayer chose to back him up is always a fave... and ik its not the exact reason for why dg is back in urdak but I like thinking about him going back for vega or at least I hope they make it a point in the dlc that dg is looking for vega amidst all the chaos... it would really cement their relationship together and would be so good for vega as not being seen as a tool to be thrown away (god stuff aside).  like he’s the slayer’s partner and not just an assistant or something like that

its canon that the slayer has ptsd so I think vega (in an android/robot body) can help him through episodes/nightmares... and this is pretty corny and self-indulgent but I think vega’s touch calms him bc of like... god reasons... and vega is not really sure why it feels so right to hold the slayer and comfort him but its god reasons

slayer also likes to hold android vega and his arms wrap around him easy, and vega is flush against his chest (<3) I like to imagine this after some kind of... very heartfelt “thank you” or confession from vega.  I also really like the idea of vega confessing his feelings first I think because he would have to also deal with thinking his “feelings” are real or not since he’s AI and not human and all of those schlocky sci-fi romance tropes

then theres the slayer x father vega dynamic im speculating a little about but want to wait till ancient gods to see... it seems like the slayer is vega’s right hand this time which is so exciting for them... it adds so much more versatility to their dynamic 

this got too long already I just wanted to contextualize some of my art... I want to add more later though.  anyway I love them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  theyre good

[mousehole5000]

tgcf again chapters 174-191. im now midway through book 4. pain and suffering. and yet also.... this is really good.... but also.... pain...

okay cave of ten thousand gods everythings coming out into the light.... xie lian pretending not to hear fengqing drop their act im emotional..... fengqing silently working together to separate xie lian and hua cheng im emotional..... every word that comes out of mu qing’s mouth im emotional....

honestly reading the xianle trio discussing hua cheng.. its very hard for me NOT to project all the times ive been in a friendship trio and someone got a boyfriend the other two didnt like (which was every time. theres never been a bf everyone liked. sometimes i was the one who had the bf. there were no winners then and tbh i predict there will be no real winners here as far as this friendship goes but such is life)

mu qing is so smart he’s clever he’s tricksy i love it i love him ugh

“A pair of arms had circled around him from behind, and hugged him with force all of a sudden. Xie Lian had buried his face in his back, and also didn’t speak. Though nothing was said, it was enough.” okay i cant get into every different way im feeling about whats going down bc it would get Too Personal but this..... im emo. also xie lian saying “something like this has to be said clearly“ and then proceeding to not say a word just going in for a hug is a mood

“He heard Hua Cheng’s staggering voice coming from above. “...Your Highness. You really…will be the death of me.” - ok well DONT SAY THAT!! now im worried!!!

“Hua Cheng, however, only snorted, appearing as if his eyes could see through the thick rocky walls. He said darkly, “Don’t worry. If he kills one, I’ll make ten more. Fast and furious like the storms, I will never back down. Let’s see who’s the one left standing in the end.” Xie Lian’s heart skipped a beat for some reason, and he mumbled inwardly, “... Oh no, this is bad.” Even though Hua Cheng’s expression was subconsciously displayed, Xie Lian really was quite weak to this aggressive and rebellious confidence of his.” - fjadskfajsl its okay xie lian honey you never know whats going to do it for you

okay so are the murals and statues are only from the xianle era? im hoping hua cheng didnt secretly follow xie lian during his time as a mortal during the entire 800 years and then pretend to a total stranger that would be too much imo lets see. i still really do get why feng xin and mu qing are like “...dude wtf lets get out of here stay away from that guy” (also tbh probably if theyd all managed to stay close... this probably wouldnt be happening which isnt a judgement im just saying bc thats definitely how ive felt about friendships) although this whole thing IS indeed tinged with homophobia which i still dont think makes sense in this setting but whatever i guess.

BOOK 4!!!! im scared

“A few days ago he nearly fainted, and it was only after that did he realize it was because he hadn’t had anything to eat for several days.” - unfortunately relatable but :(

“Ever since Xie Lian was young, he had never had to consider these kinds of affairs, and this was truly the first time in decades that this problem gripped him. However, if gods didn’t even know what starvation felt like, how could they possibly understand the feelings of a starving worshipper? How could they possibly empathize? At this point, he could only take this experience as a form of training.” - TRUE THO!!!!!!!! i like seeing this even tho the circumstances are sad

wait does xie lian get his bad cooking skills from him mom? im gonna cry...

“After returning to the city, Mu Qing’s stomach was still turning. He said as he stumbled, “I thought…that porridge, it smelled like bran water, but I hadn’t thought it’d taste like it too!” Feng Xin gritted his teeth. “Shut up! Don’t force people to remember that pot of stuff! The queen is…body of ten thousand gold after all…never cooked…this is already…UGH!…” Mu Qing humphed. “Did I say something wrong? If you didn’t think it was like bran water, why don’t you…go ask the queen to grant you another bowl! UGH!…” The two were heaving back and forth, and Xie Lian grabbed hold of the both of them, patting their backs.” - xianle trio.... including simply because it made me do the pleading emoji in real life..... also the way the queen wanted to feed all of them... weeping

i didnt realize that mu qing would still be around during this time.... god the fact that i know theyre all going to split......

“It’s precisely because it’s a time like this that money has to be brought up!” Mu Qing countered. “A time like this? What time is it? Time when we’re starving! It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to admit it, but nothing can be done without money! Can you both not just suck it up a little bit?” - mu qing i love you. god.... for real the fact that he comes from a completely different background than the other two is so important to his character and i think it shows so much in the way he continues to be in the present. he gives me the vibe of someone who is smart and hardworking but is bitter about it and tbh!!!! i get why he is!!! he’s very aware of these kinds of concerns bc he’s had to be, while the other two kind of think theyre above it and its a big difference between them. he’s still separated by the circumstances of his birth despite how much harder he’s worked to get to where he is.... ugh painful and delicious

i really am enjoying the xianle story tbh. xie lian going from his highness, favored by heaven, well-intentioned but lacking in experience and understanding to living in poverty and fighting with mortals who disrespect him. fucking delicious i mean this sincerely and respectfully im sad but i really like his character arc. and then to how he is in the present....

“Mu Qing looked at him, speaking not a word. Then he bowed deeply and really turned around to walk away.” - OH NO ITS HAPPENING AHHHHH ;_; honestly all of this hurts but it feels real like i think mu qing has every right to want to leave honestly and he DOES have other family and other ambitions outside of the trio... and i get why feng xin is mad about him wanting to leave when theyre suffering!! and i get why xie lian lets him go.... friendships are hard man and the pain of them splitting is rough!!!!

“Mu Qing’s departure had really shocked him to the core. First, he had never thought that someone so close would just up and leave. Second, Xie Lian had always believed in “forever”. For example, friends would always be friends forever; no betrayal, no deception, no breaking up. Perhaps there’d be times when they’d part, but it for sure wouldn’t be over reasons like “life is too horrible” - pain. just pain. same as above i get it but it hurts

“Xie Lian didn’t know too well just how much money would be considered normal when buying over ten lanterns, and he never looked at the price tag when he purchased things in the past.” - i feel bad kicking him while he’s down and he’s still trying to be kind even when it costs him but this is the first thing that came into my mind

but also oh?? spirits of soldiers from the battlefield you say?? hmmm i wonder... who.... could possibly be among them....

“If you remain forcibly, you won’t be able to rest in peace,” Xie Lian said. The nameless ghost didn’t seem to care. “I pray to never rest in peace.” -  i cant lie this legit gave me goosebumps lol

“Xie Lian himself was alright in suffering through it, since there were far too many other things to worry about. But his mother, who had lived a comfortable, luxurious life, when had she ever done such crude labour? But if the queen didn’t do this work herself, who else could take over?” - hmmmm!!! housekeeping!!!! it matters!!!! rich people dont appreciate how much until they have to do it themselves!!! but this still makes me sad

oh god THATS when they pawned hongjing?? with the king sick and mu qing leaving?? :(((( even more emotional about its appearances in the present day

“That passerby chuckled. “You don’t know? This is too exciting! The servant is beating the master!” - oh god the dramatic and ironic timing of it all

god..... this is just... a sad time....

“MU QING ISN’T LIKE YOU ALL. HE’S MY FRIEND, HE WOULD NEVER HELP YOU!!!” [cut to] “Those were the only words echoing in Xie Lian’s mind, but he couldn’t utter a single sound, and could only crazily grab at anything at his disposal to throw. He didn’t care who he was hurling at, either. Finally, Mu Qing couldn’t take this anymore, and he steeled his face as he swept his sleeves and left. Xie Lian panted harshly for a bit and fell back down, spacing out again.”- IM SAD!!!!!! tbh i wonder if on some level xie lian kind of felt like mu qing owed him? i know he said to forget about that stuff to both of them but its one thinig to say it and think you mean it and another to have to deal with it

white no-face what is your DEAL!! also all the little fire ghost bits im...

“After having exchanged so many words, Feng Xin finally got the gist of what had transpired. He widened his eyes and pointed at Mu Qing, unable to speak. A moment later, he bent down and grabbed a sack and flung it over, roaring. “SCRAM! SCRAM SCRAM SCRAM!” Mu Qing was hit in the face by the sacks of rice he brought and backed two steps away. All three of them in the house were panting harshly.” - this is it this is the part where i closed my laptop and said “noOOooOOOoooo” out loud to my room im so upset... and mu qing still tried to leave the rice even after the broom thing im ;_;

“Feng Xin was completely convinced that he would never do such a thing, but that was precisely why this had become the worst-case scenario!” - pain, suffering, dismay, etc

“Feng Xin continued, “If Your Highness thinks your life might be in danger, I can finish this for you, I won’t tell Her Majesty, haha.” - bless your heart for trying feng xin

“But it shouldn’t be like this. The Feng Xin of the past would have absolute faith in him no matter what! Even if there was only twenty percent doubt, it was still unbearable!” - AHHHHHHH okay idk if i really have much to say about their relationship other than im sad but IM SAD!!!!

the differences between feng xin and mu qing’s relationship with xie lian are so interesting. feng xin has clearly always idolized xie lian a lot while mu qing hasnt at least not in the same way and he seems like he has some resentment towards xie lian (thats how i read it anyway thats what i said about it at the beginning of book 2 and i think its understandable and can be a very real part of friendships) that feng xin doesnt and i just think thats neat!!

“He was firmly tied down upon the altar, that broken base of the statue under his body. There were many people squeezed below the altar, and pair after pair of round, unblinking eyes were watching him.” - hmmm dont think i like where this is going

“Yet, before he could finish, he realized that the white silk that he used to cover his face had been undone. In this moment, the thing that had him completely tied down was that exact white silk.” oh my god wait is this ruoye?? is ruoye that same ribbon???? ill cry

“The hand stained with blood, the one that ended a life, was immune to the Face Disease.” - ohhh shit okay. okay okay. okay. shit okay. i See now.... so if youre an innocent civilian the only way to escape this fate (and the faces are actually the souls of other innocent civilians) is to get rid of your innocence... and doesnt this disease not actually hurt its just horrific? god.............

“White No-Face pitied, “You think they don’t want to do it? Wrong, it’s not that they don’t want to, it’s solely because no one wants to be the first, that’s all.” - shut up!!! youre the one who created this situation dont fucking preach about the way you think the world is

“He forced down the mouthful of blood and hissed, “What are you laughing at? You think that you got what you wanted? This was all forced by you!” The ghost fire within the ghost’s hand flickered even more fiercely.” - yes exactly!!! you put people in extreme circumstances sometimes they do extreme things!! youve proved nothing!! god i do love when characters say exactly what im thinking. plus the first ones who caved were trying to save their child

“He felt that, if he was to let them do what they wanted, there was something in his heart that would never return to its original state.” - :( also i kind of feel that in my life sometimes and i just hope xie lian’s heart ends up in a state he’s happy with

“He didn’t dare to look at what had become of the person lying on the altar, because what laid there didn’t look human anymore.” AHHHHHH!!! :(((( i mean i get why this event is what made hc... level up??? thats not a good way to describe it fjasldkfjaslk but you know what i mean... that line about being powerless to help your beloved OOOOOOF

okay well finished that chapter im. pain. hmmm. pain. i dont know if i actually have any words rn lol but im gonna stop here for now

[huckleberrytm-a2]

* romance headcanons.

name:          jesse mccree.

nickname:          mccree, ‘cree, jess, joel (either in reference to his middle name or morricone ).

gender:           transgender male, he/him.

romantic orientation:          i suppose the best fitting definition is panromantic honestly. his romantic love knows pretty much no bounds in terms of who it is exactly, he just has a hard time of really opening up to someone enough for something like that to work. on the surface, however, he has no real preference.

preferred pet names:           jesse doesn’t really expect or desire pet names, but they make him feel nice when he gets them- someone giving him a pet name in and of itself means enough to him, he doesn’t really care as to what the name specifically is. he is an absolute fiend about using them with his partners, even non-romantic relationships. the more common ones are darlin, honey, pumpkin, baby, but he also has ones that are specific to the person that usually have something to do with their names.

relationship status:           very verse dependent but in his main he and hanzo totally are married and live their retirement in an old farmhouse with their dogs and their kids and their horses

favorite canon/fandom ship:         i have a shameless love for mchanzo, i do. it has to be written a very particular way though since the ship is so chock full of racist stereotypes and other nasty things, but i was graced with @uchitoru​ who has blessed me with a mighty fine characterization of hanzo to plot an in-depth relationship for our boys. i really do love them as a pair for so many reasons, i could go on for hours.

favorite crossover ship:           the only in-depth crossover ship i have is with @torturewon​ and her bucky, which is a fun ship because jesse and bucky have such an... interesting dynamic. theyre both extremely rough around the edges so it makes for really interesting romantic interactions considering how they are.

opinion on true love:         honestly i think he would like to. i think a part of him really wants to believe that somewhere out there, there’s one person who will just be... the one. the thing is he just hasn’t ever been able to experience some genuine, pure love without some sort of terrible occurrence in such a long time that he’s pretty much abandoned it.

opinion on love at first sight:         no, not really. he can definitely be attracted to someone at first sight, but not love.

how ‘romantic’ are they?:           when he gets comfortable and settled with someone, he’s a hopeless romantic. jesse is really very affectionate when you get down to his core; he very much wants to show the people he loves how much he loves them. he’s not really a poet- he won’t go on and on about how much he loves someone and all that. for him, it’s really about gestures. simple things like making his partner dinner, tucking the blankets around them if he wakes up first, little goofy gifts that he randomly finds on chance that just remind him of his partner. he’s a sap, it just takes a lot to unlock that part of him.

ideal physical traits:           he doesn’t pay much attention to physical attributes, really. generally he loves the physical traits of people because he associates them with the person.

ideal personality traits:         someone that he can continuously depend on. jesse has abandonment issues- he worries a lot about being left high and dry. he really looks for someone to just have his back, and obviously that’s very mutual. he also really appreciates people with a sense of humor, who are laid-back and easygoing. he also really appreciates when people accept him for what he is, instead of criticizing his past and telling him what he should be.

unattractive physical traits:           like i said, he doesn’t pay much attention to this. he would feel incredibly unfair to judge someone else’s appearance considering the way he dresses, his shaggy ass hair and beard, etc.

unattractive personality traits:         genuine meanness. like someone who is just a jerk for the sake of it. people who are overly childish, or selfish. most of his personality turn-offs are pretty run-of-the-mill and standard. he doesn’t like people he can’t rely on or people that treat others like dirt.

ideal date:           there’s almost no preference. he really likes being outside, playing music and thinks like that. he would love a simple meal and a movie at home, but he’s also okay with going out on the town for some drinks or what have you. he just doesn’t like to do things that are really fancy or elegant, like a fancy black tie party or something. it makes him feel awkward, it’s not an environment he enjoys. other than that, he’s down for whatever his partner would like.

do they have a type?:        not really? he says that he doesn’t but there may be some subconscious repetitions in the people he’s attracted to, even if he doesn’t realize.

average relationship length:         one night stands and short flings are pretty much his realm of focus. those are rare, only when he’s feeling particularly lonely, but he would not at all be opposed to settling down and committing to someone he really loved.

preferred non-sexual intimacy:         if not hand-holding, probably resting his head on someone’s shoulder. jesse is really starved in terms of kind, gentle touch but his past with abuse and fighting and what not can make him feel smothered or threatened really easily by physical contact. he likes being able to just sit with someone and lean on them a little, it makes him feel safe and comforted. he also gets really weak about his hair being stroked or played with, and he gets really emotional really fast if there’s any sort of tenderness with his arm stump.

commitment level:           if he commits to someone that he loves, he is absolutely committed to that person and no one else. he hates cheaters and honestly it’s disgusting to him. it can be hard for him to commit himself at first in a relationship, just because he is still scared about giving someone that kind of access to him and sharing that level of vulnerability. but if jesse commits to you, he’s not going anywhere unless you tell him to.

opinion of public affection:         it depends. he doesn’t like to be over the top with pda, like he doesn’t want to be all over his partner or vice versa enough that its like annoying and irritating to other people. but he will absolutely hold hands, give little kisses, murmur soft little things if he has the mind to, maybe some light snuggling if its applicable. he gets a little bit shy about initiating it sometimes, though.

past relationships?:           nothing of relevance. one night stands and nothing that lasted beyond a few days.

tagged by: @incnspcuous​ ( thanks dear! ) tagging:  steal it, punk, i dare you

[popatochisssp]

How would each of them handle like...a crush confessing that they like em but also that theyre polyamorous? Like nervously asking to talk about about that and what theyre cool with? If any of em aren't down with that and are better off as friends how would that go? Or if they are then how would that go too?

Ultimately, I think all of them would be willing to try and work something out! Their s/o is important to them and they want to do this relationship with them the right way, and if polyamory is one of those things their s/o wants or needs, they’re all willing to try!

That said, some will probably have more difficulty than others with the concept:

Would probably be fine with it, the more the merrier: Sans (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale), Papy (Horrortale Papyrus)

A little hesitant at first, but could eventually warm up to it: Paps (Underswap Papyrus), Rus (Swapfell Papyrus)

Would agree, but has some jealousy issues to look out for and manage: Sky (Underswap Sans), Jasper (Underfell Sans), Pyre (Underfell Papyrus), Mal (Swapfell Sans), Slate (Horrortale Sans)

Sans (Undertale): Very chill, once he knows his crush’s feelings toward him, he’s solid, other partners won’t affect him.

Papyrus (Undertale): Doesn’t think it’s unusual that his very incredible crush has more than one datemate and he’s very excited to be counted as one of them!

Sky (Underswap Sans): Really, he’s cool with it, he is! He’s just kinda clingy, he’s going to want to be with his crush a lot and might not like giving them up so they can have solo-time with another datemate. He’ll do alright as long as there’s lots of open communication about it, and if he gets his fair share of solo-time with them too, so he doesn’t feel like he’s being snubbed.

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): He’s a little wary going into it because…well, he’s never been in a poly relationship before, he doesn’t know…if there’s rules, or…? But once he gets the hang of how his crush handles their poly relationships, he’s fine, very minimally prone to jealousy and overall a pretty casual partner.

Jasper (Underfell Sans): He’s got a bit of a jealous streak, this one might be hard. Whether his crush actually picks favorites or not (and in healthy poly, they probably shouldn’t!), he’s going to at least want to feel like he’s their Number One and may do some sizing up of the ‘competition.’ If he’s satisfied that he could take his crush’s other partners in a fight or they’re just the type of person/people he doesn’t feel threatened by, it can work, but he’ll need a lot of reassurance that he’s special to his crush and can give them things those other guys/gals/nbs can’t. Otherwise, he’ll start to feel like he’s not good enough for them and ouch…

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): Also kinda jealous but can be reasoned with, once he gets over his blustering ego. Knowing it’s something they really want, he can let these other partners be a thing…as long as he knows nothing about them, he wants no contact and no knowledge about those other people he’s sharing a s/o with, do not talk about those people while you’re with him! Time with him absolutely must be time with him or he’s going to get very upset about his territory being encroached upon– he can handle knowing his datemate has other partners as long as he has their complete focus while they’re together. Anything else and, well…there may be a fight about it and, if severe enough, a break-up to follow.

Mal (Swapfell Sans): He takes a very business-like approach to this scenario, he can handle this, but! There has to be some ground-rules, very strict ones. Unlike Pyre, he wants to know everything about his crush’s other partners, and then he’s probably going to draft up a schedule to decide who gets time with them and for how long, just to make sure it’s all as evenly divvied up as it can be. If he has to share a partner with someone, it’s damn well going to be fair! He may also try to lay down some rules about places his crush can go with a partner other than him, for reputation reasons: he doesn’t want someone like Alphys seeing his date out with somebody else and thinking he’s being cheated on, it’d make him look weak and rumors are too deadly in his universe to risk that kind of thing! If his crush, or anybody else involved, doesn’t want to play by those rules and isn’t even willing to negotiate them to be a little more lax, then no chance, it’s over.

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): A liiiiiittle unsure about it? Like Paps, he’s never really done this before, not sure how it works, but ultimately as long as his crush is still willing to show him a lot of love and make him feel like they care about him, he doesn’t mind too much who else is getting that love, too.

Slate (Horrortale Sans): Has some jealousy issues, but they have a tendency to whip back around on himself. Seeing his crush with somebody else in that kind of way definitely makes him jealous, but then he feels like a jerk for feeling jealous and gets way into his own head and starts thinking really shitty things, like how they’d probably be better off without him anyway and he’s just dragging them down…. He’s gonna need a lot of cuddling and reassurance when he gets in those sulky moods so he doesn’t totally implode on himself with the self-worth stuff, but it could be doable.

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): If that’s what his crush wants, he’s okay with it! He may want to meet the other person/people, but he recognizes his s/o is an autonomous person with wants and needs that maybe can’t be fulfilled by one person alone, so he doesn’t take it personally. He’s actually very grateful to his partner’s other datemates for being able to pick up the slack for him and fill whatever niches he might not be. There may be a little bit of jealousy buried in there somewhere, some subconscious whispering that he shouldn’t be surprised he’s not enough for his crush on his own, but he’s gotten pretty good at recognizing that whispering as shitty things his anxiety and self-esteem issues tell him that aren’t even a little bit true. Still, he could…maybe do with hearing it from time to time, that he’s loved and valued by his partner and none of their other partners invalidates that!

In the end though, I think a major factor is what kind of person/people the other partners are. Even the most jealousy-prone and up-tight of skeletons can come to terms with a poly relationship if they’re sharing their datemate with somebody they get along with, or at least somebody they can acknowledge as a decent person worthy of their crush’s time and attention.  There may have to be a ‘stay in your lane, I’ll stay in mine’ sort of agreement, but they could handle it!

By the same token, if there’s a big enough personality clash, even the chillest of skeletons is gonna have a hard time with a poly relationship. They could’ve gone into it totally fine until that other guy over there started being a dick and now they don’t feel comfortable being in the same relationship as him, and a million other things along those lines.

It’s something that’s hard to make a hard, generalizable statement on how it would turn out, but at the very least, they’re all willing to give it a shot! It’s not an instant deal-breaker for any of them!

[keelywolfe]

Fic: Hearts and Hopes

Summary:  It's been a long week and Edge is tired. His husband still has a trick up his sleeve but that's okay, he keeps his heart on his sleeve, too. It's a fair trade.

Notes: If you thought to yourself that I couldn’t possibly get more fluffy with this, brace yourself.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Established relationship, Fluff, hurt/comfort

part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

The monitor screen was starting to blur in his vision and Edge rubbed at his sockets irritably, trying to focus. It was late enough in the day for it to be close to pointless and the stacks of folders at his elbow were a clear sign that he hadn’t gotten nearly enough done over the course of the day. Janice was sorely missed and as much as he wanted her to take her time recovering, he’d be relieved when she finally came back. Working without her was like trying to type with a hand tied behind his back, doable but slow going.

Edge sighed tiredly. He was being unreasonably annoyed with himself and he knew it. Along with missing his assistant, he hadn’t slept well, nightmares lurking in the corners of his sleep. Those dreams always came back when he was stressed. He hated that particular weakness, didn’t allow his nightmares to follow him into his waking hours but still, his sleep was interrupted, and it left him drained.

It was endlessly irritating that his subconscious mind refused to leave the past in the past. Underfell no longer had a hold on his daytime life, when would it leave his nights in peace? The probable answer to that was not one he particularly liked.

A knock on his door made him jerk and Edge swore under his breath. It was nearly time for him to go home, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone else’s problems today and without Janice to run interference, he was going to have to put his own diplomacy to the test.

“Come in,” he called, trying to keep his irritation from his voice.

To his surprise, Stretch poked his head in the door, grinning cheekily. “heya handsome, you about done?”

Edge could only sigh in a mixture of fondness and exasperation. Days after Stretch had promised him to be careful coming down here, if he came down here, which he rarely did, of course that would be when he showed up at his door.

“okay, you can stop with the look,” Stretch chided. Not that there was a look, Edge was certain of that, but Stretch could always read him better than anyone. “i shortcutted into the lobby from the bus stop, as per. no one saw me outside. i even called reception before i did so no one would have a shitfit about me coming out of nowhere.”

“Thank you for your caution,” Edge said dryly, masking his relief that Stretch was at least taking him seriously. “Can I ask why you’re here when I would have been home shortly anyway?”

“you can ask and i’ll even answer,” Stretch grinned happily, rocking on his heels, and Edge waited, suspiciously. “i want you to drive me someplace.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Edge gave him a narrow look. “Where am I driving you?”

Stretch’s grin turned sly and he tapped the faint protuberance of his nasal bone, “now, see, that’s where you’ll need to be patient, babe. you’ll see when we get there.”

For one moment, he considered begging off. Whatever game Stretch was playing was surely heartfelt, but he was tired and wasn’t really feeling up to a mysterious road trip. Janice was supposed to be back next week, and even so they’d be days catching up to the backlog of work.

Tempting, but to do so would steal that look of glee from Stretch, his visible delight in whatever it was he had planned. Stretch would accept it if he asked, Edge knew, he wouldn’t complain or protest, and whatever disappointment he felt would be held back, muted into nothing but dimmer eye lights, his normal exuberance only slightly subdued. Nothing that most people would notice.

But Edge would know.

“Let me pull the car up to the sidewalk,” Edge sighed. “You can see it from reception, and you can shortcut to it.”

“Whatever makes you happy,” Stretch said agreeably, bouncing on his toes as he waited for Edge to put on his coat.

You make me happy, Edge didn’t say, though he did reel Stretch in for a quick kiss, one that was happily given.

He did hope it wasn’t a long drive.

~~*~~

Stretch really hoped this wasn’t a mistake.

For one, he could tell Edge was tired. That was fucking disturbing as it was, Edge was usually a six-foot energizer bunny, his baby could go and go, and usually did. He wasn’t used to seeing lingering weariness in him, the way his eye lights were dimmer than normal.

Yeah, that and the nightmares he’d been having this week, thanks, if Edge thought he was hiding those, he was ever-fucking-wrong, and maybe he didn’t wake up screaming loud enough to peel the linoleum but even still, he wasn’t sleeping well.

Tempting as it was to play the hypocrite card and point out that he’d gotten dragged to a therapist when his nightmares were bad, eh, even he couldn’t pretend it was quite the same. His own issues had always been a little deeper than just a few bad dreams. Not that Edge probably wouldn’t benefit from a therapist; fuck, between him, Sans, and the Fell brothers, they could probably see about getting a group rate, but it didn’t feel like a battle worth fighting.

Not yet, anyway.

So, after spending a few days wracking his brain, trying to come up with something to do for Edge, he’d finally had an idea. Good idea? Time would tell, but he was hedging enough on it to have Edge following the GPS on his phone without letting him see the final address.

The building they pulled into was unimpressive, only two other cars in the parking lot and there was no sign to betray him.

Edge followed him up the walkway, waiting with silent wariness as Stretch knocked on the unassuming door. They didn’t have to wait long for a young Human woman to answer, smiling warmly even though she’d only met Stretch face to face once before, that very morning. They’d known each other on Twitter for a long time and had a pretty good working relationship, and she’d been eager to help when he asked for this very particular favor.

“Hello,” she said brightly, holding the door open, “Come on in, you’re right on time.”

“deena, this is my husband, edge.” Stretch told her as he toed off his shoes. Edge did the same, slower, though he nodded to her politely, shaking her hand when she offered it.

“It’s good to meet you in person, Edge,” Deena smiled. “Just follow me.”

“What is this?” Edge muttered, low enough to only carry to Stretch. His confusion deepened at the sound that was getting louder as they walked down the hallway, whimpers and whines. At the end was a doorway blocked by a baby gate and behind it were crying balls of fluffy puppy, all of them piled together in front of the gate.

“Get back, you little beasts,” Deena laughed, stepping over the gate. She made her way to the back of the room where there was a table laden with items. “You’ll have to excuse their manners, they’re hungry.”

Stretch followed her and, more reluctantly, Edge. The puppies milled at their feet and Stretch reached down to pick one of the squirmy bundles up.

“this is the hearts of hope animal shelter,” Stretch told his husband, petting the eager puppy in his arms. “i post for them all the time on my twitter for donations and adoptions. someone found these little guys in a box behind a dumpster and they’re fostering them until their old enough to adopt.” Without waiting for any protests, he thrust the puppy into Edge’s hands, waiting only long enough for him reflexively catch it before letting go and snagging up another.

“Rus…” Edge murmured warningly.

“it’s not what you think, i promise. i’m not angling for another pet, the chickens are good.” He grinned, nuzzling into soft fur. “but come on, look!”

The puppies looked like little toasted marshmallows, puffy white overlaid with tan, the leftover little ones tumbling around their feet, whimpering and crying. Deena came back carrying a box of filled bottles, handed one to Edge and Rus before gathering up a puppy of her own.

“Here you go, greedy Gus,” she laughed as the puppy latched on to the nipple instantly, suckling hungrily. “They eat so much at this age.”

Stretch offered the bottle to the puppy in his arms, sinking down to sit on a clean spot on the floor. Another puppy took the opportunity to clamber into his lap, and Stretch laughed, snagging another bottle and trying to feed two at once.

It was worth all the effort, all the worrying and planning, to see Edge shifting to sit next to him, inexpertly handling his own puppy, but soon each one of the floofs had a bottle and were eating with blissful eagerness.

It didn’t take long for them to drain the bottles and that left them with a lapful of sleepy little critters, their tummies round and full.

“There we are, you little troublemakers,” Deena crooned. She gathered up her puppy and sat it fearlessly into Edge’s lap where it curled up with his sibling. Stretch loved her a little for that, but then, she had a lot of experience in dealing with bruised souls, didn’t she? “Hold them for a bit, could you, while I clean up?”

“I…all right,” Edge agreed, a little helplessly, as Deena gathered up the empty bottles and left. He stroked a tentative hand over his puppies, petting gently. One of them kicked a foot, whimpering indistinctly and sighing as Edge scratched behind one tiny ear. Softly, he asked, “What made you think to bring me here?”

Stretch shrugged a little, petting his own sleepy fluffies. “you told me once how loyal the dogs of your Snowdin were. i just thought…you sounded like you maybe you missed them.”

“They were very loyal,” Edge agreed. It did not escape Stretch’s notice that he didn’t say anything about missing them. “But puppies of Aboveground are not the same as Monsters.”

Stretch only shrugged again. No, they weren’t, but Edge didn’t stop petting them, either.

He did slant Stretch a narrow look. “We aren’t taking one home.”

“nope, not even asking,” Stretch agreed, gathering up one of his puppies to nuzzle soft fur. “these are more like…therapy dogs.”

“I don’t—” Edge began and stopped, biting off the words.

“don’t what?” Stretch settled his drowsy puppy back into his lap, trailing his fingers through silky fur. “don’t need therapy? you can say it, i’m not offended.”

A flicker of something like guilt tinted Edge’s expression. “I don’t mean to imply there is anything wrong with needing it.”

“you aren’t,” Stretch said firmly. “now c’mon, these little guys need your help.”

It was deliberate phrasing, and even if Edge knew what he was doing, it tended to work. Edge was hardwired somewhere in a way that made him like helping. Even puppies.

“My help?” Edge said dubiously, but he took the sleeping puppy Stretch handed him, gently adding him to his pile.

“yep. he needs pets and loves.”

There was something indescribably precious about seeing his fierce, proud husband with a lapful of sleeping puppies curled against him. Petting them carefully, heedless of the shed fur clinging to his expensive trousers. No wonder Edge had so many clothes; married to Stretch, he sure as hell went through them. Their drycleaner was going to be able to retire in the tropics.

He couldn’t resist snapping a picture of it, planning on making it the background on his phone. Only to blink in surprise when Edge asked him, hesitantly. “Do you think posting a picture to Twitter would be helpful for adopting them out? My appearance is sometimes…unnerving for Humans.”

Well, that was an unpleasant realization to sneak in amidst all the adorable. Was that really why Edge didn’t like Stretch posting pictures of him online? It was on the tip of his tongue to say it wasn’t true and even if it was, he didn’t give a flying fuck. Edge was fucking gorgeous, sexy as all hell, and he didn’t give a shit what any coldhearted Humans thought about it.

He choked it back. That wasn’t going to help and Edge preferred honesty, even if it was unpleasant. They were using his Twitter and Instagram for propaganda, that was a fact, and Edge did look fierce sometimes to people, no, to fucking idiots who couldn’t look beneath the hard crust to see the marshmallow filling beneath. A picture didn’t give context; Stretch knew his love, knew how tender, how gentle and caring he was.

Stretch took a long, slow breath, and considered his words carefully. “tell you what, i’ll get a few shots that’ll let me post about the puppies online but still protect your privacy, yeah? so people don’t stop you on the street to ask for your autograph. and you can see them first, get veto rights.”

Must not have done too badly, because Edge’s smile was easier, his hesitance falling away, “All right.”

They stayed for a while longer, cuddling the puppies. One of them woke up enough to gnaw on Stretch’s fingers a little too enthusiastically with his needle-sharp little teeth, making him curse and Edge chuckle. It woke the rest of them and soon they went from snoozing balls of fluff to playful, tumbling ones, tugging eagerly on a rope toy as Edge held it or clambering into his lap for more pets and scritches, until they both were laughing, Deena staying tactfully away for the time being.

Not a cure for nightmares, Stretch knew, not an answer to his husband’s troubles, but it was hard to be too miserable when you were covered in puppies.

-finis-

[sanguinarius-archive]

uh so im about to discuss about salvis aka sal x travis (and no its not going to be me calling it problematic and im not gonna bash you if you like it, im going to be explaining the flaws that come with the ship regarding the canon character dynamic) so click read more if youre up for it!

warning for mentions of abuse, internalized homophobia, uhh i think thats it

alright so a lot of people tend to think that when someone tries to explain the little issues with a ship that its because theyre defending their own ship they like. and... for me? no, thats not the case. yeah i dont ship sal x travis but im not going to say i dont or argue why just because i prefer my own ship over it. thats a bullshit reason and we all know it.

as a victim of abuse and self-insecurity i completely understand what travis has gone/is going through. he cant accept that he likes boys. he’s been raised to think that its sin, that its disgusting and that the one person or being who he ever felt has truly heard his cries, aka god, hates him now. and i understand if you have been through that situation yourself and therefore you project onto him, and youre someone who has a tough time dealing with issues independently. i understand completely. as i said, ive been there before.

but i personally dont think it’d work to ship travis with, not just sal, but anyone in general. he’s a character who still has a lot of development. what he truly needs right now is a friend, and yes, i understand thats what a lot of you are trying to go for, but its hard to not see undertones of them (travis and sal) being shipped in your content. travis has been physically harmful towards sal and has harassed him and his friends. and while that is because he deals with being abused himself, causing him to not really know how to deal with his emotions, he still knows and is aware that what hes doing is wrong. hell, in the note (who im assuming is for sal) he says hes crazy about him. and then he goes to tell him he doesnt actually hate sal. so he knows what hes doing is wrong.

and can he control his anger? probably not. and thats okay, i understand that. but again as someone who has been abused and has taken out my own issues on others in different ways, ive come to learn that its inexcusable. no matter what form of abuse youve been through, no matter what mental illness you deal with, no matter what, you have to learn that taking out your problems on others in any sort of way is damaging and does not help you heal and grow from your issues.

and i think a lot of people tend to subconsciously make sal a big part of travis’ “redemption arc” in fanon content. i do acknowledge the fact that sal has said he forgives travis and is willing to befriend him, and understands that his home life is tough, but he should not be playing such a huge role in travis being redeemed. adding a relationship to travis does not erase his current issues, it only worsens them because now he has a relationship added on top of the abuse he endures from his father and his still-healing internalized homophobia. its just not healthy in that way. i dont see it working.

a lot of people tend to think especially in characters that a redemption arc is easy, that with characters you can just change them completely like the flick of a light-switch. but with how real and raw sally face is, its important we try and take travis being redeemed very slowly and steadily. he has to accept himself, first and foremost, with the occasional help from sal and his friends. he has to learn that he is not a disgusting person for loving who he loves and that with time he will get better, he just has to set initiative to that. then he has to find out how he can tackle the abuse he endures from his dad. worst comes to worst, he doesnt find a very complete way of healing from his abuse and simply runs away or turns his back on his father. and you know what? thats okay, because as long as he can escape it one way or another, and have time to heal afterwards, its okay.

it isnt easy to accept yourself while being abused at the same time. and like i said i think a lot of you tend to subconsciously make sal play a huge role in travis becoming a better person, when really, sal should only be there for small bits of advice or when travis is in desperate need of comfort. travis needs a friend, nothing more, nothing less. he doesnt need a relationship because that only adds to the problems he faces already. travis is a good character and id personally love to see him be redeemed in the last episode (aka the next episode), but i want him to be able to do that on his own.

as i mentioned before i am someone who has had a very hard time coming to terms with who i am in the past, and i have been a victim of abuse. i know how hard it is to heal and to grow, and trust me it takes a very long time. its never easy. and if you are a victim of abuse or you have dealt with/are dealing with internalized homophobia or whatever it may be, and you ship travis with sal or whoever, thats okay. i understand if its a comfort for you and a way for you to project. but you know what? in reality, unfortunately, a relationship like sal x travis, with the past dynamic theyve had, it most likely wouldnt work. it would only cause more trouble and probably for both sides.

im not hating on the ship, i just want to speak out about the flaws it has. im not discouraging anyone from shipping it, im only letting you know that it wouldnt be the Healthiest with how their dynamic is. im not willing to argue on this or start a bunch of discourse. i just thought this would be an interesting topic to make a post about.

if youve made it up to here, thank you for reading, i appreciate it and i hope you took something from it. again im not hating. i kinda think itd be cute too if they didnt have the dynamic they have in canon. but because they do have that kind of dynamic its just not good realistically.

[bettycrocker]

sorry but if your going to support 2nu shippers by reblogging their art and just ignoring their shipping preferences, that makes you just as bad as them :////

why because i’m not going out of my way to block every single person who ships something i dont ship?? because i’m not actively and openly bashing people (who might be minors mind you) on my tumbler.corn blog as though i’m saying something new or amazing??? because i’m not reblogging the artwork with “OH MY GOD YOURE A PEDOPHILE FOR SHIPPING THIS YOURE DISGUSTING BLOCKED AND REPORTED” commented on it in an attempt to humiliate the artist to force them to stop just doing something they don’t realize could be harmful to others?????? its almost like the people who draw these ships are just participating in the fandom in their own way and don’t see 2nu to be as harmful as others say it to be.

yeah, i’ve had 2nu shippers come into my askbox and harass me before but like???? should i really let it get under my skin when they were too much of a pussy to actually get off anon and say what they wanted to say to my fucking face??? hell no, they’re probably just some kid who got overexcited with seeing my writing and wanted me to write something for their ship and got upset when i said it made me uncomfortable. which is understandable, because this fandom has a really weird shipping hierarchy that needs to fucking stop because these are fictional characters whether you want to believe it or not. they cannot be effected by the decisions a child makes, only jamie and damon can make anything that happens in gorillazverse canon. until people learn to accept that, there’s gonna be shipping drama all the fucking time even though none of the canon characters are ever going to get together. it’s been 20 years, if it hasn’t happened yet it’s never going to happen unless jamie is revealing himself to be the fucking king of slowburning storylines.

while we all know that noodle isn’t comfortable with being shipped with her family (ie, the band) funnily enough that isnt going to stop people who are drawing non-canon fanart for something they think looks cute together!!! i could scream HETERONORMATIVITY or PEDOPHILIA or CHILD ABUSE when i see the ship but i don’t. instead i fucking ignore it because i have the ability to do that as a fucking human being who can make rational decisions instead of typing before i think. we are all capable of not typing something, you have to make an effort to move your hands and do something. it’s not like youre talking and you just randomly blurt out something offensive. you, as a human being who can think and make rational decisions with just a little bit of effort, can absolutely just scroll past the image and not give it another thought.

most artists usually become even more discouraged when their artwork is ignored and they’ll eventually stop drawing what theyre drawing. however, negative attention is still attention. some people enjoy that kind of attention and will keep doing what they see makes others notice their work. it gets their work notice and recognition and spreads it to other people who support that kind of thing, believe it or not. while i’m not saying 2nu shippers are seeking out negative attention, i’m more or less saying giving them any kind of attention is just feeding a mentality of “i’m getting recognized, i should keep doing this!!!”

it’s also a case of them forming some kind of subconscious spite toward the people who are constantly telling them theyre not allowed to do something, so they keep doing it in order to push the fact that they don’t share the same views as others. ignoring it is the best option when it comes right down to it because youre not feeding the artist positive or negative attention. it wouldn’t completely wipe out 2nu shippers but it would end up discouraging a lot of artists from creating something that isn’t getting attention on its own merits and eventually conform into the art and shipping ideals tumblr has. but thats a whole other tangent on the lacking of self-awareness tumblr, a community that calls out toxicity on a daily basis, has.

basically what i’m saying is grow the fuck up and just ignore the parts you don’t like instead of bullying others in order to push some fake-ass agenda you have. stirring shit up doesn’t fix anything, learning how to stand your ground and show youre not going to tolerate something you find offensive in a non-aggressive way is the key to a far more peaceful and open community. y’all wonder why the fuck this community overall is so dead or the tag is so slow or it’s like a taboo to talk about shipping in servers or just in general; it’s for petty ass reasons like this, this nasty mentality of “i’ll bully them until they go away” that you all have come to the conclusion of. i want no part of it because i’m willing to have self-control online rather than letting my frustration get the better of me. there’s literally no reason to single an individual out just because you don’t like their fucking shipping preferences. just ignore them like the fucking adult you either are or are going to be in the very near future.

tl;dr: shut up and unfollow me all ready i dont need your petty, childish bullshit bullying and genuine toxicity in my life.