suphen-ry-blog

[uh-ohspaghettio]

Love wins! Wrong, if you watch Supernatural (2005-2020) you will learn that love factually and consistently loses

[bloodfreakcastiel]

castiel saying he rebelled FOR dean, that he did ALL of it FOR DEAN is fucking insane

[cringemesstickles]

A Game Of Chase… But Why?

(TickleTober Day 2: Chase)

Summary: Sam and Dean are wrapped up in a game of chase. Castiel is confused.

Pairing: None (Maybe Destiel if you squint)

Word Count: 1293

A/N: ikik another SPN fic… I can’t help it :v

———————————————————

The bunker was quiet as there wasn’t much to do. There were no apocalypses, no universes shattering, no Lucifer… just a normal day.

And there, sitting on the couch, was the former angel of the Lord, Castiel, hands clasped in his lap as he stared at the wall with his usual pensive expression. His thoughts were quickly interrupted by the sound of boots pounding against the floors, as well as familiar voices shouting through the halls.

“Get back here, Sammy! You know what’s coming!” Dean yelled, his voice carrying a mixture of playfulness and warning.

Sam darted around a sharp corner, his longer legs giving him a slight advantage over his older brother. The angel could overhear the back and forth and the rapid footsteps, but he couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out what was going on.

“Come on, man! I didn’t finish it on purpose! If you wanted it so bad, you should’ve put your name on it!” cried the younger Winchester, his laughter echoing through the labyrinthine halls.

The noise was quite distracting. Castiel considered moving thinking spots before the brothers came bounding into the living area, giving the angel a start.

Sam ran in first, darting behind the couch before Dean followed, taking a wide stance on the opposite side, his hands raised and his fingers formed like claws. Throughout this, neither of them even acknowledged their angelic friend, who could only hope to figure out what on earth was unfolding in front of him.

“Excuses, excuses!” Dean growled, a playful grin on his face as he circled the couch, attempting to subtly close the distance between him and his brother. “You know what happens when you mess with my pie!”

Just as Dean was about to lunge, Castiel’s gravelly voice caught their attention.

“Has Dean been possessed? Why do you appear to be so… urgent?”

The brothers stopped in their tracks, sharing a baffled look before turning back to Castiel.

“Cas, Dean isn’t possessed…” Sam explained, a small, amused smile on his lips. Meanwhile, that cheeky expression found its way back to the older Winchester’s face as he eyed the youngest in the room.

“Oh, I’m possessed, alright… possessed by the tickle monster!” he growled before jumping toward Sam while the younger was distracted, his fingers latching onto the man’s sides and digging in with vigor.

As Sam yelped and burst into a fit of boisterous laughter, grappling onto the back of the couch to try and keep upright, Castiel cocked his head to the side, looking more confused than before as he watched the scene unfold.

“Tickle monster? I do not recall reading about this in lore books… I suppose the name is self-explanatory… How do you defeat it?”

The laughter only got louder at that question, and Sam shook his head, trying his best to answer their friend’s question while his brother was destroying him with tickles.

“N-No, no, no, it’s not a real—haha—monster! Dean’s just being a goof!”

Odd… so this was a playful thing? Castiel had made a lot of progress over the years, but sometimes he thought he’d just never truly understand humans.

“Ah… so you’re not really in danger?”

Dean chuckled, shaking his head as he moved to target the younger’s tummy, causing him to shriek and double over in hysterics. “Nope. The only thing Sammy’s in danger of is dying of laughter… Ain’t that right, Sammy?”

“Shut uhuhuhup!” came Sam’s frantic response.

Castiel’s brow creased with puzzlement, his eyes scanning the scene as if that would help him put the pieces together.

“Why were you chasing him then? He seemed quite alarmed.”

“Because it makes it more fun!”

It seemed that every answer only led to more and more questions. Why on earth would being chased be fun? Castiel had been chased before, and he recalled it as a very unpleasant experience.

“Fun? I fail to see how running for your life could be ‘fun,’” he said bluntly, tuning out the sound of Sam’s squeals as the elder’s fingers scribbled all over his belly.

Dean rolled his eyes and decided to show Sam some mercy so that they could help their angel friend out, giving his younger brother a pat on the shoulder and helping him stand. How on earth were they supposed to explain this to an angel? It was clear that Castiel didn’t have even a shred of understanding on this matter, so they were practically starting from nowhere.

“It just kind of is… the thrill of the chase, y’know?” Dean tried his hand at explaining, admittedly doing a horrible job. As the taller man sat up and plopped onto the couch, he decided to take a crack at it.

“It’s just a playful thing, Cas… When you’re not in any danger and you’re just messing around, chases can be pretty fun.” Sam smiled, trying his best to put it in simple terms. He’d also learned that it was better to explain things in a more blunt manner, since the angel could be quite… literal.

Castiel hummed, nodding slightly. “I see… Perhaps I should try to engage more. I often forget to, as Dean once put it, be less angelic.”

Dean gave a snort of laughter, raising his hands to threateningly wiggle his fingers at the angel. “Oh, buddy, you do NOT wanna get roped into this!”

At that, the angel gave a tilt of his head, his expression a mixture of amusement and bewilderment as he processed his friend’s words. “Dean, I do not believe you could take me… I am an angel of the Lord.”

Sam’s gaze bounced back and forth between the two, interested to see where this would go. Should he intervene? Maybe… but how? And frankly, why? This was pretty damn hilarious. And so, he kept his mouth shut, choosing to observe, but not before popping in with a friendly warning.

“Cas, I really wouldn’t challenge him… He’s ruthless,” he said, his voice the kind that speaks from experience. And if anyone could speak from experience on this matter, it was definitely Sam.

But the angel did not heed Sam’s warning. “Perhaps to you, Sam. But a human cannot merely take down an angel of the Lord.”

Dean’s eyes were twinkling with mischief, subtly shuffling closer to his angelic friend, hands raised menacingly. Dean was always up for a challenge. “Don’t tempt me, angel… I’ll make you eat those words.”

Castiel crossed his arms, giving a huff of disbelief. “Words cannot be eaten, Dean,” he stated matter-of-factly. It was at this moment that Sam realized he might have an out for the long, drawn-out tickle attack he would endure had this not become a thing. So, he sat up and casually started to shuffle away.

“Well, you guys have fun… Just try not to kill each other.”

He got all of three steps away before he heard a shrill shriek, and when he turned around, he saw his older brother straddling Castiel’s hips and digging his fingers into the angel’s ribs. While Sam wanted to stick around and watch the endearing scene, he knew it would only be a matter of time before Dean remembered their unfinished business… so he had to skedaddle.

“Oh, don’t think this means you’re off the hook, Sammy! Once I’m finished with this angel, you’re toast!”

And that was Sam’s cue to run… again.

While the angel didn’t fully understand games of chase, he did understand friendship and brotherhood… and that was precisely what he got from the Winchesters. Maybe he’d come around eventually, but for now, he was more than content to play around the Winchester way… with lots of teasing, banter, and of course, the occasional tickle attack.

[quietwingsinthesky]

Dear sir, I must use your inbox as a confession booth once again, because you're the only person I've seen express negative feelings about that stupid ass firefighter show, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but… I am so tired of those bland white boys in that stupid firefighter show… I'm happy for the fans that got that character confirmed gay, but it's… it's like the blandness/lack of anything compelling of d/estiel, but somehow more bland, because they're not even in a monster hunting show. I don't even see the love interest(s) to the confirmed gay character, just that guy getting the "2013 pure cinnamon roll" treatment that castiel got. I've tried blacklisting several combinations, but half the posts I see aren't tagged at all 💀

Okay I think that's all, thank you for letting me complain in your inbox <3

IM SO TIRED OF SEEING THOSE BORING FIREFIGHTERS GET THEM OFF MY DASH I DONT CARE ABOUT THEM. good for gay people or whatever but i dont CARE. GET THEM AWAY FROM ME. just because gay representation in boring procedural tv shows is a good sign for the overall climate of queer acceptance doesn’t mean im obligated to like the fuckers. GO AWAY. I ONLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT GAY PEOPLE WHO WANT TO EAT EACH OTHER. ARE THE FIREFIGHTERS HAVING GAY CANNIBALISTIC FANTASIES ABOUT EACH OTHER? NO? THEN I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT!!!!!! EVERY GAY COUPLE ON TV THAT DOESN’T TRY TO MURDER EACH OTHER IS ANOTHER SETBACK FOR GAY RIGHTS.

alsjfkgjskdj but yeah god it is impossible to blacklist that freaking show, ain’t it. annoying as hell. i’ve mostly gotten it off my dash, and i only have like one mutual i think who likes it? and she’s allowed. i forgive her because i know she has good taste in other things. this insanity will pass for her <3

(also the destiel comparison is apt because. you know how people used to talk about the “roaming yaoi fandom” that just latches onto whatever two men are most popular at the time, forces them into the cookie cutter mold of a romantic relationship, and ships them to death? now, i don’t know about the validity of that theory on a wider scale, but it sure does feel like a lot of people who wanted destiel to be that cookie-cutter romantic relationship are happily jumping to the gay firefighters because they’re easier to fit to the mold. and presumably carry less baggage than all the stuff that supernatural does. which is hilariously honest to me about why some people cared about destiel in the first place.)

[myaimistrue]

Hiii 🥰

For the sensory prompts - no. 36 and Destiel 💙💚

hiii thanks for sending this in <3 read the full thing on ao3 or under the cut.

(prompt info here if you want to request something!)

36. being so close that you can feel your lips brush when you whisper 

That night, the night Cas comes back, Benny takes the first watch. 

“I don’t mind, brother,” he says when Dean tries to refuse. “Y’all ain’t seen each other in a long time. I’m sure you’ve got… catching up to do.”

Dean blushes bright red. “It’s not like that.”

“It’s not?” Benny raises an eyebrow. “You just spent a year tearing through Purgatory for the guy. That ain’t exactly friendship.”

And, well. What the hell is Dean going to say to that?

The thing about Purgatory is that it gets cold at night. There’s always a chill in the air that Dean worries will stick around in his bones forever, even if they do manage to get out of here and back to the real world. Most nights, he and Benny stay close—one propped up with a machete across his lap, and the other one sleeping fitfully pressed to his side—to keep human Dean warm. Tonight, though, things are different. Dean tries to get comfortable underneath a gnarled tree while Cas stares at him, and Benny keeps watch a few yards away, pointedly not looking at them.

“I don’t sleep,” Cas says.

Dean rolls his eyes. There’s no way to feel relaxed or comfortable with roots digging into his back and layers of blood and dirt covering his body, so he just gives up. He glares up at Cas. “I know, dude. But I do sleep, and it’s fucking freezing, so get down here so I don’t die of hypothermia.”

“You can’t die of hypothermia in Purgatory,” Cas grumbles, but he’s already lowering to his knees on the forest floor. Dean figured he’d just sit against the tree like Benny does—he’d already imagined it, how it would feel to press his face against Cas’s thigh, the sensation of corded muscle he just knows is there underneath Cas’s clothes—but he lays down beside Dean. 

It’s quiet. The rustling ambient sounds of the nightmare forest that is Purgatory fade into the background as Dean looks up at the ink-black sky. He can feel Cas’s body beside him. His chest aches.

“Did you even listen to any of it?” Dean says.

“Any of what?”

Dean turns on his side and shifts closer to Cas, seeking out his body heat. “You said you knew I’ve been praying to you since we got here. Did you bother to listen or did you tune me out like I’m the fucking easy listening station?”

Cas’s eyes are a shining, otherworldly blue in the dark. Dean hasn’t seen him in so long that the color feels brand new.

“I was listening,” Cas says quietly. The words stay trapped between their mouths, the smallest sound in the world. “Of course I was listening.”

Dean squeezes his eyes shut, abruptly near tears, abruptly overwhelmed by grief and fear and exhaustion. Whatever it was in him that used to be able to push this kind of shit deep down inside has withered up and died over the past few months. Now, his stupid heart is always on his stupid fucking sleeve.

“I’m sorry,” Cas says. He sounds like he is. He sounds hurt.

“Don’t you know by now that we need to stick together?” Dean says, and if his voice cracks, Cas is good enough not to acknowledge it. “We’re a team. We’re safer when it’s both us. Fuck the leviathans, fuck everything else in this place. You can’t just leave me behind like that. It’s not your choice to make. It’s not—” He can’t say anymore, because if John Winchester’s body wasn’t ash in the sky, he’d roll in his grave at the idea of Dean whining about what’s fair and not fair. 

“I’m never going to stop trying to protect you,” Cas says after a moment. He reaches out and lays his hand on Dean’s arm, fitting right over where the raised handprint once was. Dean’s stomach swoops at the sensation. “You need to know that. I don’t want to hurt you, but I’d rather do that then put you in danger.”

Dean hates him. Dean loves him. Dean wants to punch him and kiss him and hold him so tight that he can never leave again.

“You’re a real son of a bitch,” Dean says, and he does cry, a little, then.

Cas smiles. It’s a thin thing—a tired thing—but it’s there. His hand slides up Dean’s arm and shoulder to the back of his neck. His hand is so warm on the exposed skin there.

“I’m sorry,” he says again.

Dean leans in so that their foreheads press together, their noses brush, their lips just barely touch. Cas lets out a little gasp, and God, Dean loves him. He hates him, and he got him back after all this time, and now they’re holding each other here in the dirt of Purgatory.

“I want to kiss you,” Cas whispers. He sounds terrified by it. His whole body is tense against Dean’s. 

“Not yet,” Dean says. His blood is pumping and hot all over. “Not—not here.”

Cas’s lips are chapped, and they almost catch on Dean’s. “But… later?”

“Later,” Dean agrees. He’s breathless. He’s in love. “I’m getting us out of here, and we’re gonna do this right once we’re topside. Okay?”

They’re too close for Dean to see Cas’s expression, but Cas pulls him even closer, tucking his face into Dean’s neck, so that’s gotta be a yes. Dean squeezes him tight. He really hopes that Benny isn’t paying any attention.

“I’m sorry.” Cas’s voice is muffled by Dean’s jacket.

“I know you are,” Dean says. “But just for the record—I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, too. You’re not the only one.”

Something in the woods howls, and goosebumps rise all over Dean’s skin.

“I know, Dean,” Cas whispers.

They don’t speak again. They stay curled together, warmth seeping through Cas’s alien skin to Dean’s, and eventually, they fall asleep. Dean dreams of a real bed and clean sheets. He dreams of kissing Cas, whole and warm and safe from all the monsters in the world. It’s a good dream.

[hitchell-mope]

Phrases I think [tumblr] needs to learn.

They are. Temporal context. Periphery demographic. Queerbaiting. Collateral damage. Three of which a lot of people use incorrectly to their advantage. And another that I’m 90% sure they’re ignorant about the actual meaning of. So for the purposes of this post I’ll be listing them along with the meanings and some examples. Like so:

Temporal context. Understanding that when a show, film or book is made and/or set more often than not influences its contents. For example. Stranger things. Friends. Harry Potter. Original star trek. Classic doctor who. You cannot and should not approach these with a 2022 mindset because things made and set twenty or a hundred or hell even five years ago are never going to match the current morality system you’ve cultivated through social media. Either continue being mad that a show set in Reagan’s America hasn’t said the words gay or lesbian to describe its two lgbt characters yet or acknowledge they’re doing a helluva lot more than an actual show from the eighties would’ve done, move on and enjoy what they’ve done so far. Trust me. You’ll be so much better off if you do

Periphery demographic. Why we aren’t getting actual canonical lgbt characters in mainstream Disney movies while the current old guard are still around. It’s all very well and good to go on about how “don’t they know what I would’ve done for representation as a kid?” But they don’t. Because they don’t care about the Tumblr demographic. They care about entertaining the five year olds and the parents with the money to spend on the film who might not want to take the kids to see it if there’s anything they might find objectionable in it. And sadly. Quite a few believe that lgbt content kids films is poisonous to their precious offspring. It’s a truly, truly, horribly shitty belief system. But still. It’s the ugly truth.

Queerbaiting. I’ve heard of it. I’ve never seen it. And all the pairings I’ve seen labelled as it. Ain’t it. Destiel. Supercorp. Swan queen. Byler. Johnlock. That’s not queerbaiting. That’s fans latching on to something that isn’t there and going ballistic and quite frankly terrifyingly entitled when it doesn’t happen. Just because you think a character that’s only ever been interested in the opposite gender is secretly gay and in love with your obsession doesn’t make them gay or make you right. No matter how much meta, fanfic or gifsets you make and consume. Clothes, eating habits, hair and way of speaking doesn’t make someone gay. Do you know what does? Actually being homosexual. Which Dean, Kara, Emma, Mike and John are not. Headcanons are fine. But if you have to change every single little thing about a character to enjoy the show. Then you shouldn’t be watching said show.

Collateral damage. Audrey Rose in descendants. Lindsey Lister in Gilmore Girls. Side characters (Lindsey) or antagonists (Audrey) that exist to be a background character in the main characters story. Unfortunately. Many fans latch onto these characters are bleat about how they deserved better. When they didn’t. Especially in Audrey’s case. Lindsey existed purely to show that Dean Forester, that poor poor mistreated boy, wasn’t over Rory. Audrey existed as the stereotypical bitch that the boy leaves for the better option. And when they tried to give her depth. Her still didn’t get wet. I hate Audrey. Always have. Always will. And I don’t care about Lindsey. But they served their purpose. And fans should leave it at that.

So there you go. Four phrases that [tumblr] should learn. If you do. Then you might wind up being ever so slightly calmer than you were before.

[lady-of-the-spirit]

Hannah I choose violence 3, 6, 12, 13, and 25!

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

not a screenshot but a copy&paste of the worst possible take on anything. it's about Scrooge: A Christmas Carol, the 2022 animated netflix movie.

Ok I watched Netflix’s Scrooge and somehow the story doesn’t make me go oh, what a happy ending. I don’t think Scrooge deserved all that

He ain’t a charity, he lends money. People know upfront they have to pay him back. It’s business. I get it when they want a day or two but that bold toy shop mf that had the audacity to dance on his coffin?? He asks for an entire week. I bet many of them already got extra time.

Then his employee. Was it fair of Scrooge to charge so much for the ink? No, but that guy can’t blame him for his boys demise. Like, he has child after child and struggles to take care of them all. Maybe don’t have that many kids if you can’t provide for them? I know these are different times but man, he even gives half of his earnings to charity instead of using it to buy food or medicine and then they blame Scrooge? What?

like. girl. what? how the fuck do you miss the point that badly????

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

Destiel, no doubt about it. Shut the fuck up. why is everything about you. I hate this stupid ship and how much it takes over the fandom so much don't get me started.

oh, also tenrose shippers. same thing. not everything is about you. (and this is worse because I actually watched tenrose's season and they annoyed me so much.)

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Sersi 💚 she's such a warm, sweet character!! she loves her friends a lot and is just trying to do her best, but she doesn't know what to do, but she keeps trying because she can't let everyone die. she's literally the heart of the movie and of the eternals themselves like if she wasn't there they'd fall to infighting immediately because like fuck would they be listening to Ikaris about anything if Ajak wasn't there.

13. worst blorboficiation

Dean Winchester. I'm a known hater. especially when people try to make him out to be like, the woobiest saddest little baby of all time. I'm sorry but I do not.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

ngl I had to take a minute to think about this but... for the Ted Lasso fandom, I'm sick of hearing about the whole "Nate bullies Colin" stuff. Because it literally only happened that one time and Nate apologized!! And Colin accepted his apology! In front of the whole team! Meanwhile Nate never got apologized to by Colin (or the rest of the team) for his bullying of Nate. People like to blow it out of proportion to make Colin some sad woobie and like, he is, but not really about that, because that was one bully moment.

choose violence: fandom asks

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

destiel!steddie part 4!

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 | AO3: you can hear the call (when trouble's on the way)

It was nearly 7:30 when Wayne got back with breakfast, so the three made their way to the small sliver of grass in the middle of the hotel lot to wait for Robin, Nancy, and Dustin.

Eddie hops up to sit on the lone rickety picnic table, Steve taking the least dilapidated spot on the bench he could find, right around where Eddie’s knee was, and Wayne sitting at the opposite corner.

Wayne and Steve kick up an easy conversation about growing up in Hawkins, and Eddie does his best to pay attention, nodding and humming at the right times while he eats his breakfast sandwich and tries not to think about his dream from the night before.

Tries not to think about the feeling of Steve's wings under his hands, about the weight of his own that he still feels along his back like phantom limbs, tries desperately not to think about the feeling of the angel around him, below him, inside him. 

He does, however, think about the Steve in his dream. The Steve that bore the wings of an angel, but that even Eddie could tell was less stiff and unknowing, more human; as if the real Steve and angel Steve had fused into one.

He knows he’s doing a shit job of keeping up with the conversation because Steve reaches up and taps his leg to get his attention.

“Are you okay Eddie? Your face is all red.”

“And you stopped eatin’ your sandwich a little while ago.” Wayne points out.

Eddie looks at them both, ignoring the flash of heat that shoots through him from looking down at Steve (again) from where he’s seated above him on the table, and swallows the still-not-fully-chewed bite he’d taken of his breakfast.

”Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, just had a weird dream is all.”

“Well don’t think too hard on it now, it was just a dream.”

“Ain’t that the truth..” Eddie grumbles to himself, earning him strange looks from the other two.

Just then, he catches sight of that same maroon BMW from yesterday pulling into the hotel lot. “Oh look, the girls are here.” He shoves his half eaten sandwich back into the bag and unfolds himself from where he was sitting cross-legged on the tabletop, standing up and walking down the length of the table toward the newcomers before hopping down to greet them.

“Hey Eddie,” Nancy greets, “Is Steve ready?”

Eddie glances over her shoulder to Robin and the supposed Dustin; a shorter teen that must only be 14 or 15, with a rounded face and licks of curls falling down his face from under a trucker cap. “I will make sure he’s good. Here,” he digs into his pocket for his keys, “you can open up the back doors and we’ll hang out there while they talk.”

He drops the keys into her palm and gestures towards his parked van. Nancy nods once and turns back to Robin and Dustin. 

Eddie does a half-jog back to Steve and Wayne, the latter of whom is doing his best to comfort the former, who looks significantly paler than he had before.

“Hey angel, you doing okay?”

“Eddie, it’s still me…the real Steve?” Steve looks at him confused for a split second then it clicks, “Oh..you were trying to be cute.”

“Not tryin’ darlin’, doin’.” Eddie smarms back in his best impression of Wayne’s drawl he can muster, throwing the ange–man a smirk and a wink for good measure. “Seriously though, are you ready for this?”

“Yeah, I think so. I kinda don’t have a choice.” Steve shrugs, looking down at the sun-bleached wood in front of him. “He needs this.”

Wayne gives Steve a nod and a clap on the shoulder as he strides past him toward Eddie’s van. 

Eddie moves to sit backwards beside Steve on the bench, the edge of the table cutting into his back. “You’ve got this Stevie, I am 100% certain he still loves you.” He reaches up and grasps onto the shoulder nearest to him and when Steve smiles softly at him with those beautiful hazel eyes, Eddie has to fight the urge to lean forward to kiss his stupidly pretty face.

“Thanks, Eddie.”

“No problem, sunshine.” he looks back toward the main lot and gives a thumbs-up to Robin and Dustin, who start towards their table.

He stands, using Steve’s shoulder way more than he needed to hoist himself up, grunting like an old man as he does; a last-minute attempt to make Steve laugh.

It works, and looking down at Steve, his head held back obnoxiously far just to look up at Eddie, was a mistake.

Because this time, the eyes win.

He leans down on instinct to press a comforting kiss to Steve’s hairline, pulling away and heading to his van before even fully realizing what he’d done.

“Oh fucking hell…” he mutters to himself.

“How’re you doing, lover boy?” Nancy chides him from her spot on the single beanbag he had stashed in his cargo area.

He huffs in exasperation and sits on the bumper next to Wayne, who is also chortling good-naturedly at him.

“Et tu, Wayne?” Eddie shakes his head and hangs it into his palms.

He looks up soon after though, hearing tones of a shrill yelling coming from the young boy now clamped onto Steve, back heaving with sobs.

Steve’s comforting timbre reflects across to them and Eddie pretends his hardest that he’s not affected by the sight of Steve with the young Dustin.

It’s too much to watch, but luckily Nancy seems to have the same train of thought and starts bothering him and Wayne about their other recent hunts.

They give her the rundown on everything, when they’d started, the basics to look out for on her own, other hunts they’ve done nearby so she knows what may be around.

In turn, she tells them about their adventures in what they call The Upside Down; something about a boy coming back from the dead, the chief of police also coming back from the dead, her friend dying in Steve’s backyard.. everything.

It’s a lot to take in at once to be completely honest.

She’s finishing up her tale when Robin gestures for them to come over.

“That’s all you two.” Wayne groans as he stands and stretches. “I’m gonna get us packed up, ‘kay Ed?”

He nods, and follows Nancy to the rickety table. “Hey bud, heard a lot about your party’s adventures with your paladin here,” Eddie says to Dustin as he approaches he and Steve from behind, placing a hand on the latter's shoulder in what he hopes is a comforting gesture. “Name’s Eddie Munson.”

“Dustin Henderson, Bard.” he reaches a hand out for Eddie to shake.

“Aha! Good choice, Dusty; I’m partial to playing as a tiefling bard myself, when I’m not DM-ing.” Eddie shrugs.

“Are you getting any of this?” Steve stage-whispers to the girls, who just roll their eyes.

“Shush Steve!” Dustin admonishes, “The cool kids are talking.”

“Oh, is that what you’re doing? Sounds like gibberish to me.”

“Pfft, that’s not gibberish, Stevie, this is gibberish: Mae govannen, mellon nîn!”

Steve splutters out a well-meaning: “What in the hell was that??” at the same time Dustin practically screeches: “Oh my god, you know Elvish! That’s so freakin’ cool! Eddie, you have to teach me!”

“Calm down, Dusty, sure I will,” he smiles down at the kid and ruffles his hat over his curls. He looks up at Nancy, who gives him a sheepish look and points to her watch. “But right now I think it’s time for you three to get going, yeah?”

The color drains from his face and he looks up at him, then over to Steve. His eyes start to grow wet, but surprisingly, says “Where is Steve going to go?”

Oh shit, did they not tell him this part?

“I’m going back to my vacation bud.”

“Yeah, he really needs the time to get his head right after all the fights he lost, remember?” Robin chides the two of them, almost reluctantly. Like she can’t help but fall into the joke despite her anger at the situation.

Steve smiles softly at her, his eyes also starting to fill with tears, then turns to Dustin, scrubbing his cap down on his head like Eddie had before, but uses his hand on Dustin’s head to pull the kid into his chest. “I’ll be just fine, bud, I’ll be back to you guys before you know it.”

Dustin’s “You better.” is muffled by Steve’s sweater.

Eddie moves away from them, giving Steve’s shoulder a slight squeeze before gesturing to Robin and Nancy to follow him a couple steps away from the table.

“Here, I want you guys to have our contact info.” he hands Nancy a folded piece of the hotel stationary and points to each line of chicken scratch when she opens it. “That’s Wayne’s home phone, my main burner, give me a call so I have your number and I’ll make sure to get you every new number if I switch out, yeah?”

“This your address?” Robin asks, pointing to the bottom of the page.

“Sure is; If any of you guys need a place to lay low, need anything really, that’s where we are. It’s a junkyard, but it’s home.” He pauses for a split second, “And I mean that literally, it’s actually a junkyard. Just in case you come lookin’.”

The two smile at him and Nancy tucks the paper away. “Got it. Thanks, Eddie.”

“C’mon Dustin, you’re mom’s gonna worry if we don’t get you back soon!” Robin calls back as she turns to the BMW.

“I will text you, make sure you call if anything happens with Steve, won’t you?”

“Yeah, of course, Nance.”

With that she gives him a nod, then gestures with her chin towards the picnic table.

Before he can even turn all the way, Dustin’s standing in front of him.

“You’re gonna call right? Or, do you have an email? I gotta run some campaign ideas by you, and holy shit, Elvish?? Seriously?? Will is never gonna believe it.”

Eddie just chuckles. “Sure man, Nancy has my number, make sure she bothers me for it, ‘kay? Now get goin’, I don’t want to incur the wrath of Ms. Henderson.”

“You haven’t even met her.” Dustin rolls his eyes but heads to the car anyway, climbing into the back seat behind Nancy and waving as they pull out of the lot.

Following the car’s path while waving back leaves him facing the table again. 

Steve’s sitting on top of the table now, feet on the bench and his head in his hands.

“You okay St–” 

Steve looks up at the sound of his voice, but vanishes in a blink.

“...What the fuck?!”

–-

The ride back to Wayne’s was quiet. Eddie’s over-thinking about Steve dampening any conversation attempts by Wayne.

‘Is he okay? Did he just need to get back? Or was it because of me…damn it was probably me. The angel probably knows about the dream and now he’s freaked out…’

“I got the contact info from my buddy, I should know pretty soon if you’ve got a new ride.”

‘…and seriously, why the dream, and why the fuck did I kiss him??’

“Eddie?”

‘Am I stupid? I’ve only known him for what, a few months?’

“Ed!”

“Huh? What are you yelling about, Wayne?” Eddie says as he’s snapped out of his thoughts.

“I’ve been talking at’cha for a while now, you still thinkin’ ‘bout your angel?”

“For the last time, old man, he’s not my angel…but yes.”

“You’re fine Eddie, don’t think about it too hard or you’ll worry yourself into an early grave.”

Wayne continues despite Eddie’s harrumphing. “He likes you just fine m’boy. Just take it easy and everything will fall into place.”

“You and I both know you don’t know that for sure.”

“Yeah but does it make y’feel better?”

Eddie snorts out a laugh “Sure Wayne, it helps. Now, what is it you were yelling at me about earlier?”

Wayne turns the van onto his long driveway. “I was tellin’ you that I got that hunter’s contact from my buddy Bobby. Imma give him a call later on and see if he’d be okay with you takin’ his baby.”

“Ah, gotcha.”

“In the meantime though, let’s see what we can get you workin’ on, keep your mind off things.” Wayne says as he parks the van.

“Uh huh, I think you just want some free labor outta me.” Eddie rolls his eyes and gets out, grabbing his duffle on the way.

He does get to work almost as soon as he steps foot inside; thinks that if he keeps himself busy enough, he won't have time to think about the angel (spoiler alert: it doesn't work).

He starts fixing up a couple things around the house that had been neglected with he and Wayne both being out on hunts. A leaky bathroom faucet here, a door sagging in its frame there, washing the two bloody sigils from the stairwell, re-drawing demon circles. 

Wayne leaves a couple times on his own in the next month, meeting up with old hunter friends, and taking care of some small cases; that’s about when Eddie runs out of projects to do in the house.

He starts working in the junkyard then, getting cars moved around, cleaning things up, even starting to fix up a couple of the ones in better shape in order to sell.

He’s working on an older model Beetle when Steve comes back.

Eddie’s deep in the engine and the song on the little radio changes. He bursts out laughing at the absurdity of the radio just knowing, but starts singing along nonetheless.

“Steeeephen, Steeeeeeephen.. Whhyyyyyy won’t you call me? Stephen, why won’t you call me?” 

“I do not have a phone to do so, Eddie.”

“FUCKIN--” Oof, that’s gonna leave a bump.

He shuffles out from under the beetle’s engine hood rubbing the back of his head to glare at the still just as beautiful angel before him. “Oh, so now’s when you decide to show up?”

Steve tilts his head again, that damn confused puppy look, “You called my name. Of course I’d come.”

“What?” Had he really not said his name until now? “I’m sure I’ve said it before.”

“If you had, I would have come.”

“No, I’m sure, just the other night I swore I sa—“ 

‘NOPE NOPE! STOP! Do NOT continue that thought, idiot.’ Eddie’s brain screams at him

“Never mind, I must not have.”

“Correct, if you called, I’d be there.” Steve pauses for a moment, looking him over, then the beetle. “Did you need my help with this vehicle, Eddie?”

“What?” Eddie supplies very helpfully. “Oh! Uh, no. I don’t need your help with this. I was just singing along with the song.” he gestures to the little radio, now petering out the last of the song.

“I see. Very well, Eddie, I will leave you to it then.” Steve smiles kindly at him before disappearing in a beat of wings.

“Wait, no Ste—aaannd he’s gone.” 

Eddie tries to get back to work on the little car but can’t quite get back in the groove of things. He kept waffling back and forth about calling Steve back and ask where he’d been.

Giving up on making progress for now, he heads back inside.

He rounds into the kitchen, hearing voices coming from the living room where Wayne is chatting with a younger man. He’s turned away from Eddie in the second armchair so he can only see one half of his face, but from what he can see, the man is very handsome; chiseled jaw, broad shoulders, well-defined crow’s feet that shoot out from the corners of his eyes. He looks to be older than Eddie, and he maintains an easy tone with Wayne, like they are reminiscing about something.

“Hey Wayne, who’s this?” Eddie asks after grabbing a bottle of water, leaning his hip on the small kitchen table.

The two turn to Eddie, and goddamn this guy is like, supermodel attractive what the hell??

He stands and approaches with a hand extended. “Name’s Dean, you must be Eddie?”

It’s totally not Eddie’s fault that his response is delayed, okay? It’s this Dean’s extraordinary green eyes’ fault.

“Y-yeah, that’s me. Eddie. Eddie Munson.” He shakes Dean’s hand, which easily envelopes his own. “Uh, obviously” he tacks on, glancing over at Wayne.

“Winchester.”

“Win—-Winchester?” Eddie splutters, “You’re Dean Winchester??”

Dean chuckles and drops Eddie’s hand. “I see you’ve heard of me.”

“Yeah, of course! Who in this business doesn’t know the Winchesters?” Not to mention the demons in hell who’d go on and on about how they got THE Dean Winchester to start torturing souls back in the day, though he wasn’t about to mention that. “I’m sorry to hear about Sam, by the way.”

Dean’s smile falls into something sadder. “Thanks. I do miss having a sassy know-it-all around sometimes.” he jokes, deflecting. “So,” he claps his hands together, “I hear you’re lookin’ to take my Baby back on the road.”

Oh shit. Oh fuck. “You’re the friend who’s car Wayne was asking after for me? Oh hell no. No, no, nope, no way.” he waves his arm out in denial. “She belongs in a museum, I’m not about to let anything happen to her under my watch.”

“Yeah, you’d better not, and I don’t think there’s a museum that’ll take her.” Dean grins at him.

“C’mon, I’ve kept her out back since Bobby retired officially.” Wayne gets up from his own chair and leads them out to a back barn, one Eddie hadn’t gotten around to cleaning up yet. “It’s been a few years since I took over the place from Bobby, so she’s been here about that long, but I think she’s lookin’ just fine.”

He unlocks the door and yep, there’s definitely an Impala sized shape under that cover.

“Help me with this, will ya Dean?” Wayne gestures to the other side of the car and throws his keys onto a workbench covered in rusting bottles.

The two work the cover’s ties loose and pull it back, settling a fine layer of dust onto the otherwise pristine ‘67 Impala.

Dean chuckles, clapping the dust from his hands, “Hiya, Baby.. I’ve missed you.” he gives the car a fond smile. “Let’s get her whipped into shape, yeah?”

The three get her wheeled out into the yard after clearing the way through the junk piled between her and the barn door.

Then it’s just a matter of getting her tuned up, filled up, cleaned up; Dean even insists on giving her a good polish after they've given her a good wash.

Once done, Dean drops the keys into Eddie's palm with an excited “Well, start ‘er up!”

And boy does she run like a dream. No sputtering or rattling to be heard.

Wayne pulled out the grill around the time Eddie and Dean started her up the first time, so there’s burgers done by time Dean finishes explaining all Baby’s quirks (“The headliner behind the driver likes to pop off for no good reason, just pop it back in and it’ll stay for another month or two.”, “If the needle of the speedometer starts to look a bit off, just give ‘er a good flick and it’ll snap back into place.”, and “If you hear a bit of rattling when you blast the fans, don’t worry about it, uh…my brother and I decided it would be a good idea to shove army men down the vents…”).

“So what have you been up to, Dean?” Wayne asks him after they’re well through their dinner. “I haven’ heard much about you being on cases recently?”

“Nah, I’m not. After Sammy died, I gave Baby back to Bobby, got me a motorcycle and just rode for a while. Didn’t really need a whole car when it was just me, y’know?

“Saw the sights we’d missed out on when we were heading from case to case, then decided to just do what I wanted to.

“I opened a diner first, then a couple more, only serving up the best of the best pies you’ll ever have. But I just recently broke even at my distillery.”

“No shit, you own a distillery?”

Dean scoffs and gets up, walking over to, and picking up a bottle from Wayne’s mantle, returning to the table and handing the bottle back to Eddie with the label facing upward.

Eddie takes it. “‘Thursday’s Angel’? This is your brand?”

“Sure is.” Dean grabs a trio of glasses and sits down again, taking the bottle back from Eddie and pouring them each a glass.

“So Dean, you’ve got a motorcycle, a diner chain, a distillery…no settlin’ down for you?” Wayne asks, taking the offered glass.

“I think I am pretty settled now, but no, not in the way you’re thinking.”

“No special friend?” Eddie waggles his eyebrows at him teasingly, taking his own.

Dean smirks back, but it’s sad. “No, no, I uh, I did have someone, but I lost them a few years back. Before Sam.” Dean’s gaze is far away “They were my everything, and I didn't know it until they were gone. Beautiful, kind,” he chuckles to himself, “naïve…perfect in every way, a real angel.”

“They sound amazing,” Eddie says at the same time Wayne tries to break the mood with: “Eddie’s got himself one of those.”

“Wayne, what the he–”

“Oh you do, do you?” Dean turns to him, eyebrows raised and smile crooked up mockingly, “Tell me about ‘em.”

Eddie looks between the two men’s shit-eating grins and before heaves a long sigh. 

He shoots back the whiskey, “First of all they’re not mine.” Another glare to his uncle that does not faze him in the slightest.

“Secondly…” he pauses. “He–he’s…I don’t even know where to start. First I thought he was just a pretty face, and by god is he pretty, but now I learn all about how apparently he’s the most selfless golden boy ever created. Part of him’s naïve too, but he’s mostly just a sweetheart…I’d really like to get to know him better.”

“He sounds great, what’s his name?” Dean smiles kindly at him and that’s when Eddie realizes he’s definitely outed himself to this monster hunting legend completely by accident. Perfect.

Well, he doesn’t look like he’s about to punch him so, may as well right?

“Steve. His name is Steve.”

Two things happen simultaneously, and one immediately after.

One and two: the unmistakable sound of fluttering wings sound from the kitchen behind Eddie, and Dean’s smile and color dropping from his face.

Third: Steve saying, “Yes, Eddie?”

Eddie throws Dean a confused look, though the seasoned hunter is staring wide-eyed over his shoulder at the angel now occupying Wayne’s kitchen. He answers the angel, not taking his eyes off of Dean’s swiftly cracking composure.

“Hey, Stevie, I was just telling our friend about you.”

Steve hums and steps up behind Eddie’s chair. “All good things, I hope.”

“Only the best, angel.” Eddie says, tilting his head backwards to look up at him with a wink.

The angel smiles back at him, then turns his attention to Dean. “Hello, I am Steve.”

“Bullshit.” Only Eddie seems to be aware of the slight flinch the angel does at that. “What is your name, really?” Dean continues, his tone firm and fully distrusting.

“My name would be incomprehensible to y—“ Steve cuts himself off and tilts his head as he scrutinizes Dean. “You possess the grace of the Angel of Thursday.”

“The grace of the who-now?”

“I do. And I won’t hesitate to use what little I have left to send you to hell.” Dean stands, and is suddenly holding that same silver thing Eddie had seen Steve holding back at the graveyard in Hawkins, and is pointing it directly at Steve’s chest.

“Whoa, hang on, what in the hell is happening right now??” Eddie bolts up and stands between the hunter and his prey. Not a great spot to be when that hunter is Dean Winchester, but he’ll be damned if he hurts Steve.

Dean ignores him, looks straight over his head and down at the angel. “You are not taking him away from me.”

“Him? Him wh—“

“Of course not, Dean. What is left of my brother was hard won and is yours to watch over.”

“Your broth—-“

“You’re damn right. You are also not going to put Eddie through the same shit you and yours put Cas and I through, you hear me?”

“You are heard, Dean Winchester. Please, let me speak.”

Dean is still for a few moments, then nods once, lowering his blade. Eddie takes that as his que that he’s okay to step out from between the two; he does, but sticks closer to Steve just in case.

“Thank you. Please know, the profound bond you and Castiel shared is one of legend.”

Eddie sees Dean’s face scrunch up in the most minute of winces at the mention of supposedly another angel.

“The younger of us, still fledglings at that time, thought it beautiful and something to be protected, unlike our elder siblings.” Steve glances at Eddie, “Something to wish for for ourselves.”

Eddie feels his whole body freeze up. Even his thoughts scream to a stop as he flushes beet red.

Dean nods again, seeming to relax fully. The silver blade vanishes into thin air and he sits back down.

“Well good. Glad to hear it.”

Steve nods once, glances to Eddie, then is gone in another beat of his wings. A beat that makes Dean flinch again.

“What in the actual hell was all that?” Wayne spouts off, reading Eddie’s mind.

“So you know about angels.” Eddie continues in a strangled whisper.

Dean scoffs “Boy do I.”

He tells them everything. His first meeting with his own angel in a similarly dramatic way as Eddie and Wayne had met Steve. About succeeding in preventing the apocalypse, falling in love with and losing Castiel over the course of events. Then about fighting through any who got in his way of keeping a bit of Castiel alive within him through some very complex spell that fused that last little bit of Cas with him.

“Like I said, He was my everything. Didn’t realize it till it was too late. He sacrificed himself to keep Lucifer at bay, and I never got to tell him I lo—.” he cuts himself off by clearing his throat.

A single tear falls down Dean’s face, who wipes it away as he turns to face Eddie head-on. “Don’t waste your time with him Eddie.” He stands and grabs his pack from the armchair he had occupied previously, “And be careful with my Baby.”

And with that, Dean Winchester walks down the hall and out the front door.

Part 5 here!

Some notes:

the elvish eddie says is something i pieced together from the lotr wiki. It should say "Well met, my friend!"

asdkjasdklfjahlakf modern cannonical eddie would be a menace if he ever heard ke$ha i stg

the army men 🥺

yes i absolutely used Jensen's preferred ending for spn/dean as his story here

i'm totally making things up here, but the grace i imagine dean still has of cas' is what was left dormant in him after cas pulled him from hell. dean found a way to tap into it, keep it alive, keeping cas "alive".

you know damn well dean would still not be able to say the L word about cas even after he's gone. poor bbg...

peep the spn musical episode reference there at the end

lastly, this got super off track from what i wanted to get to this part, but nancy and the party should be back in the next

tag list!: @undreaming-fanfiction, @potentialheartofdarkness, @munsonfamilyband, @evix-syne666, @mightbeasleep <3

[minalblood]

Ok so my brain decided to deepen its own damage last night as I was rewatching The Winchesters (season 1) finale so buckle up it’s a long one fellas.

So I was listening and when I heard Keep on Rambling come on during the bar scene with Joan, my mind went huh, I wonder where this is placed in the album. So I went and checked. Mainly I was curious cuz usually an album tells a story and Jensen made it pretty clear that unlike the previous two albums where they were just trying shit out, this one was meant to be more consistent and have a clear throughline. So as I said, I checked.

It’s the 6th song btw, the 1st of the 2nd half of the album. I kind lost it after that tbh. Let me explain why ok:

So if we go by the logic that the album tells a story and we tie it to Dean (and destiel cuz duh tbh) we have this shit happening: Right Kind of Trouble - you can tie this to SPN directly, this is Dean realizing that Cas is basically it for him despite the constant fights they’ve been having and more so allowing himself to acknowledge that. Basically this is the Purgatory apology. Like legit this song is to me what Dean really wanted to tell Cas, that Cas didn’t allow him to. This is a love confession itself, one that says I know I fucked up, but If you give me a chance again I will do so much better cuz you’re it for me, we match. Like look at this shit guys:

Like this is pure divorce era Deancas and you can’t tell me otherwise, but more specifically, Dean thoughts as he eventually apologized in 15x09 The Trap.

Then we got Forever ain’t Long. This for me can of course still be about the divorce era, sure, but more so it feels like 15x18 Despair and regretting having gotten to this point and now it being too late to change anything cuz Cas is dead. Like how much clearer can it be? Like it’s literally a plea for time to turn back and for the relationship to go back to being as it was before all the mess Chuck and just the divorce era caused, but cannot since Cas is dead (Take me forever/forever ain’t long). And also, just this song screams Despair to me, it’s one of the saddest ones on the whole album, it reeks of grief. And it’s a direct call for Cas with the heaven line off the bat:

Also this part? This is mindspace for sobbing on the floor and 15x19 vibes for me.

Next is Every Light, the ultimate Dean song right? Well specifically this ties into 15x19 - telling Chuck he can just have his ending, just bring Cas back - and more importantly, and it’s also something I think we all heard, it’s about what shall not be named, the fucking 15x20 finale. I don’t need to bang on too much here but like, it’s even more than that. Because with TW 1x13 we find out he decided to stray from heaven while we were still mid ep 15x20 which means these are him going, hey I need to do sth about this, I need to figure out what’s wrong here, make sense of it and make it right cuz fuck this, I ain’t just taking this shit hand I’ve been given. Like I could literally put the whole song here but like imma put just some:

This is pure intergenerational trauma banging around in his head.

Ain’t no telling is next on the list and this is now heading into Winchester territory a bit, but not quite fully there. I see it as a continuation of the above aka I don’t want to go, but now that I’m gone and it’s not good, why is it not good, who am I after all, does anyone really know and does it really matter? And by anyone I do mean Cas tbh cuz like yea, it would make sense. The song literally says hey, you love me through all of it, despite me not always being sure who tf I am or how far away from each other we are, but we are still going to take advantage of every second we have. Basically this to me feels like a retrospective of the divorce arc put into context by the confession and this restlessness and need to find something Dean gets while in heaven. Like the 1st verse if soooo Dean I just can’t.

Ok now we get into shady waters a bit because You make me Blue is a bit of an outlier tbh, which considering I think this was written just by Steve, it makes sense, buuut I can still fit it in here seamlessly like this: this is sung to Chuck. This is the realization or resolution to the question posed by Ain’t no telling essentially. This unsureness of self isn’t lying with Dean alone, this was brought on by Chuck and his machinations so the anger in the song matches perfectly. Again, all of this til now has been gearing up to leave heaven but still on the road so to speak, still matching the 15x20 set of events, but his mind is running and trying to make sense of things. And what do we get with this song? We get “I’m finally happy being free/me”. We get a concretised sense of self once it’s been made clear in Dean’s mind just how much Chuck fucked with him (and if you’re a Chuck Won truther like me, how much Chuck is still doing, has the realisation that maybe Jack isn’t quite Jack here cuz sth is clearly wrong, but it doesn’t matter anymore, he knows who he is so Chuck/Jack’s influence can’t affect him anymore). And again this is the one song that matches least, but if we take it to be Dean having trusted Chuck to not be the villain (see him going to shoot Jack for that and promising to bring Mary back), then this still fits for me.

And now that we close this chapter we get to our 1st offender again: Keen on Rambling and the 1st one that is without any doubt taking place during The Winchesters. Like the whole song states everything that we’ve just been told happened throughout season 1. Like ok, verse 1 is deciding to leave heaven even though heaven is meant to be a place to rest (find peace whatever). Then verse 2 is giving the AU he finds himself in with the Akrida a nudge in the right direction (I’m sorry with the calvary in tow??, headed southbound for the season???)  And finally we get to the last one which to me is meeting the Core 4 but especially Mary and John and giving them the journal (I have a story to tell — do tell). So yea, but he’s not done tho. The song is constantly saying to keep on rambling so there’s more to do to get to where he needs to be, he’s still restless. But it is the beginning of this next chapter and the beginning of the second half of the album like I said. It matches soo fuckign well tbh and I’m going a bit insane here so take all this with a grain of salt tbh.

Ok so now that we’ve reached the current point in the Dean story we have 4 more songs. Which to me is basically where Dean needs to get to. 

And honestly a bit of Sweet Escape still fits into the finale for season 1 of TW so let’s get to it. This one is very much saying I’ve been caught red handed and people are trying to keep me contained but I refuse to stay put cuz there’s still shit I need to do/find. Like this is where my Chuck Won truthing hits worst tbh, but it could just be the Jack’s non interference thing too as well tbh, but the other voices that need to be drowned out are def Jack here, who took him back to heaven at the end of 1x13 of TW so this is basically saying you may have gotten me back here, but I’ll break outta the inclosure anyways, you can’t stop me, I’m not done. And with the 1st verse’ ending it feels like not only is he not done, but there’s a plan in motion here. Also I CANNOT overstate how much the 2nd verse makes me think of the Empty.

Return to Me is self explanatory tbh, but I’ll ramble a bit here too. This one answers the question of what he’s searching for, why he can’t stop moving, what’s missing for him to be happy. And what’s missing is a person that he lost aka Cas. Like I really don’t even need to say much here, this song is literally Dean going hey this is what I need to be happy, this is how that can happen. It fucking has the lakeside and raincoat mentions, it’s blatant tbh. And moreso, the last verse is just a reiteration of what we all lost our shit about with Watching over Me aka how did I not know you loved me back, how did I miss that until it was literally too late. 

Restless Man is a prayer to me basically and also the song I relate to the most tbh. So I’ll try not to get lost in the meanings here. But basically it’s Dean asking Cas to give him the space and reason to slow down. Not stop, because it’s still Dean and he can’t do that, but to give him a place or person where he can feel safe to take a break, where he can just be, where he can learn how to just be instead of constantly needing to do everything for everyone else. To have a place where he can just focus on himself a bit and what he needs and wants and how to embrace being happy. And more than just that, it’s saying that he’s finally ready to allow someone to take care of him for a bit, to have a place where he doesn’t need to be constantly on guard.

And it wraps up with Velvet Sky which in this case is the happy ending. Happy not because there’s “peace when you are done” like Jack says, but because now they have a place of their own to go to whenever they are weary of the road. The 1st verse to me is referring to Dean travels through the multiverse - literally seen all the land, every beach and grain of sand  because he literally went and saw all the possibilities for things, saw the wide expanse of the multiverse in search for this place and this person that he can now be with. And it’s not peace here, the sea is angry still, but it’s what works for them. It’ll never be perfect and it doesn’t need to be, Dean just needs this place and person to be free to just be himself and that no one else can reach or affect again, have his story be his own. 

So yea, this is the insanity my brain concocted last night after rewatching The Winchesters season 1 finale and having a random thought about Radio Company. And like I could’ve left it be and not traced any connections, but they fucking used the song in the show and then used Ramble On as the song to send the episode off. I couldn’t just ignore the relevance of that. 

But anyway, none of this could be accurate at the end of the day, but I had to get it out cuz it was stuck on repeat all night. Let me know what you guys think.

[abi-cosmos]

Abi’s weekly Destiel fanfic retreat!

Fic Recs!

Happy Monday everyone! 

I have a confession, while I love writing fics, I’m terrible at finding time to read them. Which means I’m super late to the party for so many big name Destiel fics, and there’s still a couple I haven’t read. 

But there is no better feeling than finding a new fic!! It is amazing, and the talent this fandom has is outta this world. 

As this is our first time at the retreat, I’m starting small with several of my bookmarks, and some that I’ve talked about irl after a drink too many. Oops. 

Somebody Up There Likes Me - bumblebea: Explicit. 17579 words. Castiel is temporarily turned female, and Dean deals with a lot of internalised homophobia. I was a little unsure about Castiel in a female body, but this works. Trust me. 

The Way We Were - Background_Foxe. Explicit. 29642 words.  Fake dating...with a helping of amnesia! 

Stupid with a Flare Gun - remmyme. Explicit. 3912 words. Set in s05e03, this is porn. It’s entirely porn. 

The Mechanics of the Universe - n_nami. Explicit. 116863 words.  Space Husbands AU. This is Dean and Cas in space, you don’t even have to like science fiction to enjoy their relationship in this, if you love enemies to lovers and mutual pining, then you’re good.

This Ain’t the Three Amigos - DoctorProfessorSong. Explicit. 4109 words. PWP that totally happened in the show*. *should have.

The Trouble With Blue Eyes - FriendofCarlotta. Explicit. 14902 words. 1950s Detective AU. I was already bias because the artist for this fic did the art for my Pinefest 2023 fic and she’s incredible, but this is just a beautiful melding of fic and art. It’s noir and atmospheric, but Dean and Cas are every bit the idiots we love.

and finally, for the big name fic I have to mention:

The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet - saltyfeathers. Explicit. 144488 words. I’d put off reading this for years, mostly because I didn’t think I was interested in college AUs, but I was desperately looking for a long fic last week and decided it was time. I’m pretty disappointed in myself, because it’s friggin’ amazing. If anyone else is still on the fence about it, you won’t regret it.

That’s it for now, but I’ll be pulling out some more recs next week. 

Don’t forget to hydrate, be kind to yourself, and put your yoga mats back on the shelf when you’re done. 

Namaste 🙏 

[preseriesdean]

general content warnings: incest, blood, violence. ​

🔞 svenja, she/her, europe. interacts from @holocrone, tracking #svenjalook​

i make edits sometimes and write once in a blue moon. i’m also on pinterest

in love with: codependency, sam and dean dying together, hands, and bloodied faces passionate about: trauma, folklore and americana, physical scars as roadmaps of the past, the horrors of the open road, and soulmatism favorite episodes: mystery spot, pilot, lazarus rising, the usual suspects, what is and what should never be, faith

anyone can interact 💛 

TAGS

– RELATIONSHIPS sam and dean– you and me | wincest– whatever it is dean and john– i have given everything | deanjohn– a widow at twenty seven sam and john– you two were practically the same person sam and dean and john– not before everything dean and cas– i prayed to you | destiel sam/dean and mary– don’t carry the world upon your shoulders sam and cas– nothing is worth losing you sam and dean and cas– team free will

– SAM AND DEAN codependency– there ain’t no me if there ain’t no you touching– like a prayer for which no words exist soulmates– it’s like a religion; it’s terrifying dying together– and if we die; we’ll do that together too protective sam– there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you isolation– we are not like other people you=me– one and the same domestic– like an old married couple unhinged– we’re the ones you should be afraid of jealousy and women– the girl had nothing to do with it in sync and communication– you really are brothers

– STORY ARCS hunting– why do i have to be some kind of hero dean’s hell– i do remember everything that happened to me demon blood– how far from normal dean and michael– your sword; your perfect vessel soulless!sam– you’re not my brother sam and lucifer– if the devil would just leave you alone purgatory– there was something about being there demon!dean– i like the disease mark of cain– it’s making me into something i don’t want to be post-finale– carry on

– THEMES AND MOTIFS affection – possession religion– maybe it's time to have a little faith trauma– a lot of people got it worse cycles– you tell yourself you’re not gonna be something obedience– do you even have an original thought autonomy– i need autonomy more than i need god home– i can never go home angels– be not afraid violence– i did it for the sheer pleasure family– family is hell alcoholism– to feel something and nothing

– NON-CANON ERAS preseries fem!sam and dean– underground wires hbo!spn– you want it darker

– DETAILS hands – blood – scars – wardrobe – mirrors weapons– at the edge of a blade or the barrel of a gun impala, motels and the bunker– there’s no place like home the open road– travelling riverside blues hunting and lore– the family business

– MISC. pretty things – vibes art – words – music – web weaves – fanfic

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

nothing in the world belongs to me but my love

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/PkFctow by ijusthavealotoffeelings “Dean, we’ve done enough,” Cas says quietly. “We’ve given enough. We can be done now. Don’t you think, after everything we’ve sacrificed—everything we’ve lost—that we deserve to rest?” Dean’s so stunned that, for a moment, he doesn’t even know what to say. “I’m not going to stop hunting,” Dean says slowly. “And it ain’t about how much we’ve done—I’m a hunter, Cas. It’s who I am. Why the hell would I retire now?” OR Post-finale, after Dean rescues Cas from the Empty, they settle back into hunting as friends. Dean does everything he can to convince himself that this is the life he wants—this is the only life he deserves. Like every lie Dean tells himself, it all comes apart in the end. Words: 10285, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 3 of post-finale but make it destiel Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 15, Castiel is Saved from the Empty (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Lives, everybody is alive in this ok, oh god i suck at tags let me think, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, this is more angsty than what i usually write, Love Confessions, Emotional Manipulation, sorta - Freeform, dean obviously loves cas but he's still willing to do anything to make cas stay with him, uhhh what else, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss, First Time, dean denying himself what he wants like he always does, Fights, idk man just read it, Porn with Feelings, Porn With Plot, Sort Of, sappy ending bc im basic like that, brief reference to the finale (derogatory) read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/PkFctow

[deanisbisexual]

let’s talk about cons

Okay I want to get something off my chest and it is towards a lot of my mutuals who I actually do consider friends even if we’ve only spoken once or twice, I honestly hope you read this in its entirety and have a change of heart. If it makes you mad or you don’t agree with it, feel free to unfollow or block me, it’s fine. If you wanna talk about it feel free to DM me. 

I am not upset that anyone went to the Charlotte Convention. I understand that some of you bought your tickets before we learned that Jensen was directing Walker and before Denver Con. I truly felt bad knowing that your tickets were nonrefundable and I was glad you guys were still going to try to have a good time and meet each other. 

What I am upset about is some of you want to continue to go to conventions, whether they be Creation Cons or not. While Creation Entertainment itself is a whole other beast, they are not the main problem here. Any convention that gives Jensen, Jared, or even Misha money is not a convention you should be supporting. These last few months we have gotten to see how these actors really feel about their LGBT+ fans and their fans of color and I don’t think it’s morally right to continue to fill these men’s wallets. 

Nothing has changed in the past week. 

Jared is still the same guy who uses children in cages as inspiration for his copaganda show, Jensen is still going to direct Walker, he still sat by and agreed when Jared compared queer love to inc*st and p*dophlia. Both have been outwardly homophobic. Some of you are POC, some of you are LGBT+, some of you even posted about how you didn’t feel safe there, I don’t understand why you are so excited to pay hundreds or even thousands of dollars to these men.

Please stop thinking that by spending this money and asking Jensen or Jared a question that it’s somehow going to fundamentally change them and they won’t be the bigots they are. Do you think J2 (or any of the actors frankly) go to these conventions out of the goodness of their hearts and because they’re genuinely interested in what you have to say? No, they go because it’s a nice little paycheck. Having Misha throw us a “there was love in his eyes” or getting a quick picture with him or Ruth or anyone doesn’t negate that the majority of your money is going to the same men who made us all feel like shit three weeks ago and encourage their fans to perpetuate that hateful culture.

The best way to hold them accountable is to stop giving them your money.

I would also like to clarify some things. Anyone trying to explain why your actions are hurtful is not jealous that they didn’t go to the convention or aren’t a part of your discord. Anyone blogging about Dean/Supernatural/Destiel is not the same as spending $300+ that directly goes into the pockets of racist and homophobic actors. Me reblogging your con posts when I’m trying to be supportive that y’all are making good out of a shitty situation is not begging for con content. You donating some money to RAICES or any other organization or blogger doesn’t erase the money you gave to racists. 

If you want to pay for another convention and continue giving these men, who do not care about you, a platform to spew racist and homophobic shit and foster a toxic environment go ahead, but please don’t get upset and act like victims when others call you out on it. 

I sincerely hope some of you will reconsider who you give your money to. I understand wanting to be around others who are just as passionate about Supernatural as you are. I understand wanting to see your friends. I understand wanting to have fun. 

There are ways to do that without supporting racist homophobes.

#in before one of yall posts the “i ain’t reading all that. i’m happy for u tho. or sorry that happened” meme

[clairenatural]

i had a dream that sam and dean took cas to an art museum and showed him all these paintings of angels and it was like that scene in vincent and the doctor and cas said these paintings are beautiful because they depict the angels as human when a true angel could never be described as anything but monstrous and i woke up crying

anon i love this SO much. i love it so much i had to write it. this is 1.4k, destiel, human!cas

They’re making their way out of the city, monster killed and day saved, when Castiel sees a poster, pasted up on the side of the plywood wall of a construction site. It’s an angel—he doesn’t recognize the artist, but he’d guess late 19th century. Be Not Afraid: a History of Angels in Art, it proclaims, the logo of the city’s largest art gallery tucked into the corner.

Castiel stares at it. The angel on the poster stares back, wings spread and staff raised. Valiant. Something in his heart twitches, but it’s hard to place. He still has his blade, tucked safely into the trunk with the rest of their frequently used weapons, and he never had wings like that; even the shadows, the ones they showed to humans, were simply the closest representation to the real thing possible in this dimension (his back aches anyway, dimly, his human body reacting to the loss as if they were real severed appendages. He ignores it).

Dean notices, because of course he does. He stops, because of course he does, and flags Sam down before his long legs can carry him too far ahead. “Hey. You good?”

Castiel isn’t sure how long he’s been staring at the poster, but it’s long enough that Dean is obviously concerned. “Hm? Oh. Yes, I’m—I’m fine.”

Dean nods but doesn’t move. He considers the poster. “Art gallery, huh?” he asks, avoiding the obvious elephant. Castiel appreciates it. He nods back.

“I’ve never been to one,” he offers, as explanation. It seems odd—he can remember the painting of the Sistine Chapel, he remembers watching with fascination as humans began collecting the smaller paintings into collections and museums, but he’d never been inside one. It hadn’t seemed necessary. Humans collect art in large boxes to remember their history, but Castiel has seen it all.

Dean seems surprised by this. “Seriously?” Castiel nods, and there’s a pause, and he’s about to turn and keep heading towards the car, and Kansas, and home, when Dean claps him on the shoulder and turns to call over his own.

“Sammy! How do you feel about seeing some art?”

“You want to go to an art gallery?” Sam sounds incredulous, and is closer behind him than Cas expected. He hadn’t noticed him retreat the half-block he’d managed to gain on them.

“Yeah, why not? Come on. What happened to ‘a little culture wouldn’t hurt, Dean?’”

"What happened to ‘I’ve got plenty of culture, eat your damn burger?’”

“It’ll be fun, Sam,” Dean counters. Something in his tone has changed. Cas doesn’t think too hard about it.

There’s a long pause, and Cas knows there’s some sort of communication happening he can’t hear or see. “…Okay,” Sam concedes. “Okay, sure. Yeah. Let’s go.”

So they do.

Dean makes a comment about “haven’t been in one of these since I was a kid,” before they all fall into the hushed silence of the museum floor. It’s nice—nicer than Castiel had expected. Not in aesthetics; the building is sleek, and modern, and the art is obviously beautiful. But it’s nice to be there. It feels almost Holy—humans, funny creatures they are, with their habit of treating their own culture with the respect of something divine. Creating houses of worship out of museums and libraries and living rooms. 

He wanders through the various exhibits but doesn’t really pay attention until he ends up in the exhibit from the poster. He’d managed to lose the Winchesters halfway through the photography exhibit, when both the brothers had gotten distracted. Castiel had continued onward anyway, on a mission, and by the time he finds himself walking into the angel exhibit he’s on his own.

He comes to a stop in front of one of the largest paintings in the room. It’s not the same angel as the poster. It’s several, actually, looking over what appears to be Mary and a baby Jesus. The angels are beautiful—smooth, flawless skin. They have long hair that looks soft, even in paint. They’re wearing white robes, and their wings are white and dove-like. None of these angels have several heads, rotating bands of fire, or thousands of eyes. They’re beautiful, but they aren’t angels. The human who painted this didn’t know that, of course—none of them did. Humanity was faced with the concept of divinity and conceptualized it as a version of itself.

“The real things ain’t as cuddly, huh?”

Dean’s voice startles him, which he hates, both because he hates being startled and because he’s still adjusting to Dean being able to sneak up on him.

“I was just thinking,” he starts, pretending he’d known Dean was there the whole time, “you paint us like we’re human.” Not ‘us’ anymore, he reminds himself, but he brushes that thought off. Not now.

Beside him, Dean snorts. “Yeah, well. If you’d told any of those Renaissance guys that the real angels are dickhead balls of celestial intent, they’d’ve arrested you for heresy.”

Castiel shakes his head. “No.” he pauses. “Well, yes. But that’s—” he turns to face Dean for the first time. He notices Sam over Dean’s shoulder, focusing intently on a painting a few feet away and obviously pretending not to listen.

“My father—God—Chuck,” he cycles through, which will never not be weird, “created us first, but not in his image. We weren’t worthy of that. Only you were. Humans, his perfect creation, modeled after their creator. But then—” he turns back to the painting and gestures to it. “You created us in your image. You thought about divinity and you couldn’t conceive anything more Holy than yourselves.”

Dean shifts. He tries for a laugh, but it comes out short. “Well, damn, Cas. Way to make a guy feel self-centered.”

Castiel turns back to him. He blinks. He frowns. That’s not what he means. “Most of my siblings thought so,” he agrees. “But I always thought it was an honor. Look,” He turns again and reaches out for the painting, only remembering a few inches from its surface to not touch it.  “This one has a lyre. You always paint us playing music. But music, art….these are human things, Dean.” He lets his hand fall, but keeps his eyes forward.  “We’re soldiers. They don’t teach us to play the harp in Heaven, they train us to fight. But these angels are…soft. Kind. Angels you trust to protect. The kind of angels people pray to, build churches to.” He looks back at Dean, who is staring at him with a frown. He holds his gaze, steady, and takes a deep breath before finishing. “I wish I was—that any of us were—worthy of being depicted this way. I wish we were the angels you paint us as.”

There’s a long pause while Dean searches his face, obviously trying to decide on the right reaction. If they were at home, Cas thinks Dean might reach out and hug him. Instead, Dean reaches out to clap a hand on his shoulder—he lets it linger there, and Cas knows what it means, so that’s okay, too. “For what it’s worth,” he starts, and his voice is softer than the last time he spoke. “You’re the closest thing to those angels that I’ve ever seen.”

It’s a nice sentiment, but Cas smiles sadly as he turns back to the painting. “I’m not any kind of angel anymore,” he points out, and tries his hardest to keep his voice neutral.

Dean squeezes his shoulder and tilts his head, trying to recapture Castiel’s gaze. “Hey. Look at me.” Reluctantly, he looks back over. “Your wings weren’t what made you a good angel, alright?” he brings his other hand up to poke into Castiel’s chest. “That was all in here.”

He sounds like he’s quoting the Wizard of Oz, and Cas wants to make a joke about that, but he’s also never wanted to kiss Dean more. He doesn’t, because they’re in a museum, and they’re still working up to that, but he makes a note to do it later. Instead, he reaches up and pulls Dean’s hand away from his chest, links it in his own, and squeezes.

“Thank you,” he says, and it’s earnest, and it’s for everything.

Dean smiles. He understands. He squeezes back.

[quietwingsinthesky]

In your opinion, is it worth watching Supernatural if you missed the superwholock craze and your only exposure has been meta posts

my darling anon, i’m a supernatural fan, i’m going to say yes. BUT. with caveats. one; depends on the meta you’ve been exposed to, because if you’ve been told by tumblr gifs it’ll be an epic love story between that dude and his angel, i’m so sorry to disappoint you but that’s not what the show is about. but if the meta you’ve gotten is about the actual themes of the show, go right ahead.

(to be clear, like, there’s still stuff to dig into for destiel. i just wouldn’t want you to go in expecting a romcom in a horror story.)

CAVEAT TWO: you gotta understand that supernatural is really like 5 or 6 shows in a trenchcoat building on top of one another. like s1-3 are pretty solidly their own show, cut down early by the writer’s strike and even delineated nicely by being filmed on. film. rather than digitally. s4-5 are their own thing. s1-5 are their own complete arc, and honestly, you can just watch that and have a pretty good time with some genuinely fantastically put together television. and then after that s6 is kinda its own thing, 7-8 too, 9-11, and then 12-15 i just lump together as Bad but im sure someone else would actually classify them by arc or whatever.

okay god we’re putting a cut now im not gonna shut up im sorry

i think more people should watch s1-5 of supernatural. it’s silly, it’s scary, it’s full of fucked up shit and things that will mess you up for life (affectionate). and then i say watch the rest until you don’t enjoy it and then drop it. don’t feel obligated to watch all 15 cause it loses the plot Fast and it also. gets bad. like if you want my rec, i say stick it out till s11 and then if you can stand it, s12 for [SPOILER] coming back to life. but i would never in my life tell anyone to watch s13-15 unless they had literally nothing left to do and a gun to their head. i watched it but im not a good role model.

uhhh what else should you know. oh, yeah, there’s a lot of references to non-con/rape in it, some of them the show takes seriously and some it’ll play for laughs with some 2010s era misogyny. there’s also a lot of moments that, depending on how charitable you feel like being, are either poorly thought out or straight out racist or homophobic. the show does very little to address its misogyny, homophobia, or racism until it gets put down like a dog behind a shed. i’m telling you this to prepare you for it, because i think engaging with the show is still worth something, especially if you take the time to entangle those elements and examine how the writers have used them to justify a world in which two white guys roll into town, kill a scary monster with extrajudicial justice to save the suburban families, and leave.

and then, of course, if u watch it you can also come yell at me about it :3

uhm. but seriously. supernatural is a complicated show. but it’s worth watching. there’s a lot of good in there with the bad. the way it approaches angels and heaven in the early seasons especially is so fucking fascinating, so if you like religious stuff at all, i’d say go in for it. the acting can be. well. the main guys range from ‘holy shit this is stressing me out to watch it’s so good’ to ‘okay’ to ‘jesus fucking christ please get the camera off of him.’ (and if you watch the show, i’ll let you guess which is which lmao.) but a lot of the people who come in to play side characters kill it in their roles. shout out to jdm. there for like 3 episodes purely to fuck me up forever. lifechanging performance, i’m so serious.

tldr: supernatural is genuinely a good show, for a while, and when it ain’t, it’s still fun, and when it stops being that, just put the show down. just keep your expectations in check regarding what the show is telling you it’s about and don’t expect it to be more. (like. feel free to fantasize about what if it Was more, i sure do, but don’t let that cloud your vision on what the show, as it stands, really is about and is trying to say.) and be prepared for the messy shit it’ll hit you with along the way.

and the fandom is pretty neat too, so long as you use the block button liberally <3

[sortasirius]

What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me.  Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based.  In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place.  Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!”  Bruh.  The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode.  You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season).  Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here.  Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone.  He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else.  That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit.  This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this.  That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS.  AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all.  Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this?  I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20?  AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT?  WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half?  Nothing really happened?  Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around.  It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it.  The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery.  Truly, that is the only thing.  It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper​ got a week or so before the finale.  She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right?  It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc.  The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.”  Uh.  Where are they?  And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So.  Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

????????  That’s the end if it?  They don’t need to be discussed after this???  It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too?  Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay?  Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else.  They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else.  Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here.  What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right.  Weird as fuck.  Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas?  My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene.  Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back.  Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it.  Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad.  It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway.  He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here).  Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying.  My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair​ spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven.  The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago.  We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread).  The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here.  Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here.  Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions.  Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was.  None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why?  Why lie to all of us when we have questions?  Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense.  Simply?  Warner Brothers is absolutely massive.  These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs.  They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha.  It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him.  He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids.  It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then. 

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram.  It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other. 

My theory?  They didn’t know.  They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all?  Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so.  I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God.  I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read.  He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that?  Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys.  Why would he get involved?  He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is.  He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam.  I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to.  So what changed?  What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious?  CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South.  It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And?  They don’t care.  They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects​ wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here).  They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line.  And you know what?  To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what?  They warned us.  I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network.  I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want?  Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy.   In fact, to the people trashing them?  You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb.  Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them.  The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this,  Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.