#this also applies to spn... like i think of how into that i was and it truly was not supported by the actual show

[potatoesandsunshine]

occasionally people post like "wow i can't believe this was all in canon!" and it's like that's because it wasn't. i'm sorry but this was not in the show or movie etc. some very creative people make things up on the internet sometimes and you're thinking of that instead.

[quietwingsinthesky]

thinking about a version of spn where billie taking on the role of Death functioned on elder scrolls rules, where through performing the role, she Became Death to the point where her selfhood was subsumed into the concept. Instead of idk she was the last reaper that died so she gets the job.

[shallowrambles]

“We all know it was dad’s fault anyway.”

///

GABRIEL (incredulous at Lucifer’s gall) Okay, you think Dad was the ‘bad guy,’ and you were a victim? You were not a victim. That was just your excuse.

LUCIFER My excuse for what?

GABRIEL For it all, Lucifer. For it all.

X

[restlesshush]

Supernatural really does have show vs tell diseases when it comes to its portrayal of interpersonal relationships – like how close friends they claim the Winchesters are with [whoever] is generally not born out by how (much) they actually interact with them on screen. Like I was thinking about this specifically re Kevin: he has a really rotten time, including working really hard being really burnt out permanently while Sam and Dean don’t really seem to care, but then they do use friend/family terminology about him. There’s a language/treatment clash: the show wants you to think they’re friendly, but doesn’t actually bother to have actions particularly backing this up. Kevin’s functional purpose as a character is Prophet Stuff, so this is all they really give us with him. And also then he gets that sad funeral montage, which is like, pretty jarring in that it has a greater sense of him being Significant than the show’s really given him for the entire rest of his tenure but like, the fact it exists implies the show thinks it’s done the legwork to earn that, y’know? What the show apparently thinks it’s doing vs how it actually has treated Kevin 1) as a character in general and 2) as a character cared about by salmondean don’t really seem to line up.

And this does apply much more broadly too: I’ve talked about it re Jack, it makes Charlie weird, and it also makes things with Cas 1) gayer but also 2) more precarious-feeling from his point of view than is necessarily obvious if you take the show’s language at face-value. Like, the show/tell clash really does pervade a very significant amount of tfw’s relationships.

Anyway a big reason I think this is interesting is that it does to some extent result in people watching effectively two different versions of spn depending on whether they buy the (frequently – much more pleasant!) story it’s trying to sell you on re character relationships vs like what’s extrapalatable about the relationships purely from what we see of them. There are a couple of switches where if you flick them one way vs another for processing supernatural, people come away with very divergent views, and this is very much one of them. Is spn about found family or is it about an extremely isolated and pretty strained unit with… some acquaintances?

[trekkiedean]

the thing about cas's arc in the first half of s9 is that it's a prime example of why I cannot look at this show through a purely watsonian lens. there is no way to make it make sense except bad writing. and "idk it was bad writing" is a copout with most shows, and can very much be a copout with this show, depending on how selectively you apply it. but also, with spn, not only is the writing bad, but the show is SO hyperaware of itself as a story that I have a lot of trouble ignoring the doylist factors, the way I would at least try to in another show.

like, I have a ton of logistic/plot questions about the whole early-s9 situation, because the basic facts just don't really make sense from 9x03 to 9x06 to 9x09. but more than that, I feel like any purely watsonian explanation requires me to either throw out a lot of dean's past characterization (I can be pretty hashtag deancrit, but I do think it's ooc for him to kick cas out with absolutely nothing) or a lot of cas's future characterization (I think cas's takeaway was that dean does not care enough about him to help him unless it will serve some larger purpose of dean's to do so, and I think that informs a lot of cas's future behavior). like, the potential watsonian explanations are:

dean offered cas some supplies/cash/a fake id, and cas was just too proud/hurt/stupid to accept

dean offered cas some supplies/cash/a fake id, and cas took them, but he was too proud/hurt to keep them or too stupid to keep them safe/use them wisely

dean is a complete sociopath who doesn't give a shit about cas and kicked him out with literally nothing but the clothes on his back, and cas's self-esteem is so low that he thinks it was okay

dean is too stupid to even realize that cas might need supplies/money/resources

and I don't find any of those explanations satisfying, because there are things in other episodes that undercut or refute all of them: if dean genuinely just doesn't give a shit about cas, why did he bother trying to find him in 9x03 in the first place, or care when april killed him and get gadreel to bring him back? if dean didn't give him anything in the way of money/supplies, then how did cas get from kansas to idaho, or get a job with no papers or bank account? but if dean did give him cash/the magic credit card and fake identity papers, then why did cas need the job in the first place and/or why is he sleeping in the back room? and if he didn't, if cas is truly in such a dangerously precarious situation in 9x06 because he has nothing else, then how, in 9x09, does he have a fairly nice, well-fitting suit and presumably a fake badge and a car? if dean gave him some money to begin with, and cas is just clueless with money and blew it all, then how did he get savvy enough, between 9x03 and 9x09, to acquire all of those things himself? if dean gave him money and/or the suit, badge, and car to begin with, but cas was too proud and hurt to make use of them, what changed his mind? if he has those things in 9x09 because dean helped him after 9x06 and either gave them to him or gave him the means/money to get them, then why wouldn't dean have just done that in the first place? if dean didn't help him at all, despite knowing what a dangerous situation cas was in before they found him in 9x03, then why does dean approach cas in 9x06 like he expects any reaction but completely justified anger and hurt, and treat cas's new job like it's a silly little thing cas is doing for funsies rather than his best chance at survival? but then, why is cas treating the whole thing like it was no big deal in 9x09?

meanwhile, the doylist explanations are:

the episodes in question were written by privileged white people who have no idea what actual poverty and homelessness entail, and didn't care enough to do some basic research (or even like, ask the cast member who'd actually experienced serious poverty and homelessness for some input)

there was little to no coordination among the writers to ensure story or emotional continuity across episodes (if you told me berens and buckleming just didn't read each others' scripts or watch each others' episodes I would 100% believe you)

they didn't want to pay misha for enough episodes to show us what the fuck was going on with cas in the 9x03-9x09 span, let alone have him kicking around the bunker

and also possibly

everyone knew that if cas was kicking around the bunker, and they put him in the standard hunter uniform, dean's spirit would fully possess jackles and derail every scene by flinging him mouth-first onto misha's dick

and all of those make a lot more sense to me than any purely watsonian explanation is ever going to. and again, I do think that shrugging and saying "bad writing" can be a copout, and with other shows, I would make more of an effort to at least try and find a satisfying watsonian explanation, but spn is not only badly-written, but self-aware, even self-obsessed, in a way that other shows are not, so it's a lot harder for me to just disregard the non-diagetic factors. so I do tend to think that if you choose a watsonian explanation for the whole thing, it can be kind of a rorschach test, because you basically have to decide which character's development to prioritize, dean's or cas's.

[scoobydoodean]

Anon I already addressed a lot of your message, but I also wanted to respond to the 2.02 part of your message more specifically. Tbh I didn't talk about this very specifically in my rewatch because I kind of feel like Sam projecting in 2.02 is a subject that has been beaten to death by fandom and I didn't really want to add to it if I'm being quite honest—especially because it quickly leads to samcrit hours for a lot of people in a way that I'm not really into believe it or not. But I wanted to respond specifically to what you wrote here:

Yes, Sam is expressing how he feels in season 2, but he isn't lashing out. He wants to express his grief to his brother, who he knows is also expressing grief. He doesn't realize his brother is expressing it in a different way than him, and interprets that as not expressing it at all. But he isn't lashing out and he isn't being malicious. Sam is trying to get Dean to talk to him, because that is how Sam needs to process his grief. He isn't displacing his aggression onto someone else. He's desperate for a connection. He's more begging than projecting at some point. And when it bubbles over, he admits how he is feeling to Dean based on an earlier conversation where Dean criticized Sam for how he was reacting to their father's death when Sam and John fought all of the time. Dean is angry because that is how Dean deals with grief, and in that conversation, he took it out on Sam. In the season 2 scene, Sam is admitting that yes, he and his dad always fought, and he feels terrible about it and is drowning in the too little too late. But he is desperate for his brother to let him in because that is the only connection he has left and Dean shutting down makes him afraid to lose that too. But he isn't lashing out or projecting. He is trying to communicate his needs but doing it less than stellarly.

First (clarification for any other readers) I've already clarified that I myself don't see Sam projecting as malicious.

Second, I think you reference a tag I used on my original post: projecting displaced aggression and scapegoating in spn. That is a tag for my tagging system. It's a blanket tag that I use when at least one of the words in the string applies to a situation, but not all have to apply.

Third, let's be clear about the sequence of events in 2.02:

Sam comes outside and asks if Dean is okay or if he needs anything.

Dean says he does not need anything, and calmly but plainly asks Sam to stop asking, because Sam has been asking Dean all week and Sam has not taken a hint.

Sam does not listen. Instead, he pushes forward, pointing out that Dean hasn't mentioned John all week.

Dean responds with a sarcastic remark that boils down to, "What the fuck do you want my grief to look like? What would you consider palatable?"

Sam explodes, yelling at Dean for patronizing him, accusing Dean of grieving wrong, and telling Dean how he should be grieving.

Dean says the anger and vengeance Sam wants from him is useless, and that the only thing he can do right now is work on the car.

As the episode continues:

Sam talks about wanting to hunt in John's memory twice after Dean wonders 1) why Sam wanted to go on a random hunt 2) Why Sam tells the carnival owner that he doesn't want normal. Dean pretends he has no thoughts about this.

Sam brings up a fond memory of John, and Dean says he remembers. 5 seconds later, Sam accuses Dean of "getting maudlin on him", and then he accuses Dean of playing the "strong and silent type"

Dean asks him firmly to leave him alone, and plainly says Sam is acting entitled to determine how Dean grieves.

Sam begins yelling at Dean again for not grieving right.

Dean shouts back at Sam that he is fine and tells Sam to stop dumping his issues on Dean.

Sam asks what Dean means.

Dean says Sam is having trouble dealing with John's death because of how things ended between the two of them and says Sam is projecting his inability to deal with John's death onto Dean.

At the end of the episode, Sam admits that Dean was right about what he was doing, but also says he knows Dean isn't actually okay.

That is the sequence of events.

He doesn't realize his brother is expressing it in a different way than him, and interprets that as not expressing it at all.

I'm not the thought police, but neither is Sam, and Sam quite literally shouts at Dean multiple times in 2.02 for not grieving in a way that Sam finds relatable. He specifically demands to know why Dean isn't angry, and why Dean doesn't want revenge, and why Dean's grieving process involves fixing his broken car instead of doing exactly what Sam has been doing—searching for leads on the demon. Sam is angry and is frustrated by a lack of leads, and he is displacing that frustration onto Dean and doing exactly what you claim Dean did to him later in the episode, except when Dean does it, it is after being harassed repeatedly and criticized for how he grieves and having his clearly stated boundaries trampled on by his brother for over a week.

Adults don't have to understand the quirks of other people's grief, but they should be expected to accept that their own feelings are not universal, and not make judgements. We don't get to dictate how other people feel and process things. I lost my grandfather this year, and if someone had come up to me at his funeral and criticized me for not appearing to grieve in a way they found relatable (which would invariably and inescapably carry an implication that I didn't care about my own grandfather) I would have put them on the ground, and they would have deserved it. It's fine that Sam doesn't understand how Dean grieves. His response to that lack of understanding, which is to deliberately and flagrantly ignore Dean's very calmly and plainly stated boundaries, and criticize how Dean deals with his feelings because Sam doesn't understand him, is not fine.

Note: Sam's behavior here is also not dissimilar from how he criticized Dean in 1.03 for not searching hard enough for John (in Sam's opinion—a guy who had found exactly 0 leads for them up to that point) with a tacked on thinly-veiled accusation that Dean did not care, followed by denials of his obvious meaning when Dean reacted. That also was not okay, and it's part of the pattern we see.

Sam is trying to get Dean to talk to him, because that is how Sam needs to process his grief.

You say Sam just wants to express his own grief to Dean, but that is not what Sam does? Sam talks exclusively about how Dean is processing his own grief: DEAN hasn't brought up dad once. DEAN should want revenge. DEAN should be mad. DEAN needs to stop being so dysfunctional and cold and "deal with" John's death—not Sam. If Sam wanted to talk about how Sam was grieving... he could simply talk about how he is grieving. However, quite crucially, he should also be willing to have someone else act as his active listener (ex: Bobby). Dean and Sam's methods of coping clearly do not mesh, and Sam should be willing to respect that. But when Dean does ask Sam quite plainly, over and over, to stop pestering him, Sam does not listen. He wants to talk about how Dean is grieving. Whether Dean is ready is not relevant—only whether Sam is ready for Dean to be ready. Dean is expected to grieve on Sam's timeline, in a way that looks familiar and relatable. Sam fixates on getting Dean to open up, because Sam is worried about him yeah—but also because Sam thinks he needs Dean—specifically—to spill his guts in order to process his own grief and stop worrying about Dean, and that is dysfunctional, and Sam is so focused on fulfilling that dysfunctional need that he is willing to flagrantly trample all over Dean's own grieving process and his clearly defined boundaries in order to get what he wants.

Sam's methods of coping and how they effect Dean in 2.02 are maladaptive, and they make Dean responsible for "fixing" Sam in a way that is not fair, while Dean is also grieving their dead father. Sam is essentially criticizing Dean for not offering up his raw grief as an artistically arranged meal for Sam's consumption, and Sam does not even realize it until Dean, tired of having his clearly stated boundaries trampled on over and over by Sam's repeated pestering and demands and criticisms, calls Sam out on what he is doing. And Dean is right about it, and after Sam reflects on it, he admits that Dean is right and reduces his harassment and policing of Dean's feelings by about 75%.

[dotthings]

Back on my slow, full series rewatch of SPN and noticing some things in S4 about the theme of Sam and Dean’s specialness and Dean’s love/hate relationship with hunting and the nature of Sam and Dean as heroes.

Sam post first. I’ll post the Dean one separately.

In season 4 leading up to 4.15 Death Takes a Holiday (written by Jeremy Carver) Sam’s been training with Ruby, drinking demon blood, and developing his demon-related powers more strongly. Dean’s been uneasy about that. And running alongside this is Sam increasingly growing drunk on power, as well as his detachment and sense of specialness.

SAM Look, I don't want them to die, either, Dean, but there's a natural order. DEAN You're kidding, right? SAM What? DEAN You don't see the irony in that? I mean, you and me, we're like the poster boys of the unnatural order. All we do is ditch death. SAM Yeah, but the normal rules don't really apply to us, do they? DEAN stares. DEAN We're no different than anybody else. SAM I'm infected with demon blood. You've been to hell. DEAN looks away. SAM Look, I know you want to think of yourself as Joe the Plumber, Dean, but you're not. Neither am I. The sooner you accept that, the better off you're gonna be.

It’s not that Sam is 100% wrong. Their job, their lives, are unusual, they do have to deal with weirdness most people don’t, in a highly dangerous, unpaid job, Sam does have demon blood powers, Dean has been to hell. But there’s also a bunch of things in Sam’s pov here that is linked to his S4 overall arc of going off the rails, moving away from who he is.

Way back in S4, there’s in-story comment on how Sam and Dean have plot armor while other characters don’t. Via Sam expressing an alarming sense of superiority—rules don’t apply to them, if other people die too bad it’s the natural order, they’re special. This isn’t Sam (and I really appreciate Sam’s sense of horror during the S14 reveal about the plot armor). Sam’s got his head twisted around here. Sam’s talk about specialness screams of Sam falling for Ruby’s cosmic trap, priming him to get where he needs to be to set Lucifer free.

One of the things that was so appealing to me about SPN is Sam and Dean’s ordinariness as heroes. They’re just a couple of guys from Lawrence, Kansas yanked into the world of the supernatural. They’re both the everyperson pov, while they’re also both outsiders and “freaks.” Sam and Dean often have to reject “great destinies” that cosmic beings try to force upon them, they rebel, tear up the pages, make the story their own. Free will was always a big theme on the show. Rebelling against the cosmic being manipulated system.

[sakarrie-creates]

It’s that time of year! Here’s my 2023 art summary! After two years of having to include non-colored pieces, I finally did enough ‘full’ pieces to fill my art summary template! I did have to get a bit creative with the months since I was able to draw a LOT more during the summer, but I’ll take it! Sorry it's a bit blurry. I'm not sure if that's just for the preview or not, but it was a smaller file than normal and since these reflections are 99% for my own interest, I decided it wasn't worth trying to change.

As usual, I got rambly so reflection questions are answered under the cut. The template I used is available here in case anyone else wants to make their own! My fic summary will be coming in a week or so, so stay tuned for the stats and round-up there. :)

What events did you participate in (with art)? Player Appreciation Week, Fandom Trumps Hate, Dear Fellow Traveler (Animatic), Weird People (Editing), SPN Comfortably Queer Zine (dropped), and lots of zine applications for page artist, merch artist, comic artist, and spot artist roles!

What was your biggest challenge this year? While time, like last year, was still a challenge, I think my biggest challenge was a mix of low motivation and an intense perfectionistic mindset. At the start of the year, I got super into TOH and was super hyped about all the zines with apps opening. I really REALLY wanted to get into them and figured I should apply for art too just cause it would increase my overall chances of getting in. After the finale, I did a screenshot redraw that ended up being absolutely fantastic for where my skill level is. I went deeper into rendering than ever before, and somehow it worked for me. 

That probably was the start of my unreasonably high expectations, and I got it into my head that maybe if I could make a whole portfolio of artwork at that quality level, I actually stood a chance at getting into a zine as an artist. From then on, I was hardcore crash-coursing perspective, rendering techniques, and generally trying to improve without allowing room for mistakes. While I do think it helped me grow a lot, it burnt me out so I struggled to work on stuff past summary (when all the zine apps were) and even dropped from the SPN Comfortably Queer Zine cause my imposter syndrome was so strong. (Though that was also partially because it was a ‘sign-up and you’re in’ zine, so they never saw my art during the application process and had no way of knowing if I was good enough.

What was something you were surprised by? I’m pretty sure I discovered the perspective tool is CSP this year! CSP has so many tools I’m not aware of (despite watching tons of tutorials and guides), so it wasn’t super surprising but it was nice. I have to say, they’re a serious hassle to work with and require a higher understanding of vanishing points and such than I currently have, but I could see it being very useful for future scene art pieces.

Did you try anything new this year?

Yes! This year I kicked down the door to the merch world and have been collecting and designing throughout the year. Though the designs have mostly just been for zine app portfolio’s, everything has worked out really well for me and I hope to produce charms for my collection as I improve my skills. Where do you think you most improved? Definitely my confidence in rendering! And probably my rendering itself too. I did a ton more pieces with it this year and it’s definitely a favorite part of the art process for me. I think I’ll have a lot more fun with it this year too, since I’m trying to keep it lower pressure, so I can experiment more to find out what brushes and styles I like most. What are you most proud of? I think I’m most proud of how ambitious I was with my zine apps. Though I didn’t get into any for art and it burned me out a fair bit, I did a lot of hard work and made pieces I can be mostly happy with. As for specific pieces, I’m very proud of my animatic clip for the Dear Fellow Traveler MAP (which is what the Belos art from the summary is from). My portion was about 5 seconds with 24 fully colored and shaded frames. A few of those were moving frames too, so the end result is the closest thing to actual animation I’ve done. I also really like the rendering on the Huntlow Epilogue art and generally how the Steve&Matt hug turned out.

How’d this year compare to your 2023 goals? I honestly couldn’t remember what my goals were, but all things considered, I didn’t do too bad! Thankfully past-Sakarrie was wise and made it a bullet list so I can just check things off. Met: -Player Appreciation Week -Add to zine portfolio -Apply to at least one zine as an artist (fine if don’t get accepted) -Keep experimenting with backgrounds and shading -Pull out some old WIPs -Build more consistency of style

The checked off ones I definitely met, so good for me! This was a very zine-focused year, so I way exceeded those goals. The last two I did do, but they’re a bit subjective. Specifically, I think the ‘WIPs’ I was referring to were old sketches, but most of the old WIPs I revisited were already colored and I was either adding rendered or cleaning them up for zine usage. As for style, I’m REALLY bad at telling haha. That said, my characters seem reasonably similar when I draw them, so I’m going to tentatively count it. Kinda: -One fully colored piece per month

I’m gonna give myself a half check on this one. I didn’t have a fully colored piece every month, but I did have over 12 fully rendered pieces in the end, several of which had backgrounds. So while I didn’t meet the letter of the goal, I feel like I met the spirit of it.

Did Not Meet: -Finish Huntlow comic -30 minutes animatic digitalize rough draft -Maybe make some fanart of my favorite fics

These don’t shock me. They’re all personal projects and this was a very external-goal-driven year for me. The Huntlow comic is a big love of mine but it’s definitely ambitious for where my skill is. I’ve got the whole thing messy-sketched and most of it has been clean sketched, but the jump from that to lineart is gonna be hard, and I have no idea what I’d be doing with color since the panels don’t have a background. That said, I do feel like it’s some solid work and I adore the angst vibe of it, so maybe I’ll get it done one day. I could also see myself posting it as a messy lineart comic so that others could enjoy the concept being executed in case it never gets finished.

As for the 30 Minutes animatic, I still 100% intend to complete it eventually. I love the way it fits to the music and I’m so proud of the thumbnails. Even if it never becomes a full animatic, I want to digitize the frames and line it up with music so I can share the concept I see in my mind with others. My brain was somewhat overtaken suddenly by TOH this year, so now that that’s settled and I’m hoping to follow my muse more this year, maybe this will be something I can get excited about again.

The fanart for favorite fics is no surprise since it’s kinda the tack on. With low motivation and projects with deadlines that needed my focus, personal art like this was buried way below other priorities. It’s a nice though for sure though.

Alrighty then, now it’s time for 2024 goals!! Oh goodness, I really don’t know what to expect of myself. I definitely am going to try to allow for more personal projects with lower pressure, but I do still have some goals. Hopefully most can be accomplished without applying big pressure though.

2024 Goals:

-Number One Priority: Create for my and don’t put myself in a place to get crazy burnt out and still have requirements. If I meet this goal, then it’s okay if I don’t meet any of the others. (It would be sad.... But I would still count it as meeting overall goals.) -Participate in Summergen and PAW Week (Art or Fic) -Design Handplates charm as anniversary gift (November) -Design CS Charm -Have a fully usable Zine Portfolio (Currently need more merch samples and rendered pieces with backgrounds) -Apply to new TOH Zines or other loved fandom zines. If I end up getting into any, I can pull back, but since that doesn’t seem likely, I want to get into the habit of always being ready to apply with what I have. -Make an ongoing project list to pin to my tumblr. This applies mostly for fics, but that way people coming to my page can see what fandoms I’m actively creating for and what they can look forward to (as well as have an opening to ask questions if they’re interested). -Post more (at least 10 times throughout the year) and add my best pieces to instagram (8+ pieces by end of year). -Do ONE of the following:     1. 30 minutes digitized so it can be shared with music      2. Open Up Your Eyes fully thumbnail      3. Fanworks for other people’s fics      4. Participate in an extra bang or exchange with art      5. Design and manufacture a pin -Play with different brushes and rendering styles -Draw something from scratch every month, no matter how small -Not exactly art, but I want to have a finalized long-term merch display plan for all my items Overall, how’d the year go? I think I did well! I didn’t meet all my goals and I pushed myself too far, but I learned and improved a LOT this year. All things considered, I made pieces that last year me would be blown away by, so I think that’s an automatic win. I’m pretty uncertain on how this next year will go (even more so than last year, which is surprising since I was changing schools last year), but I’m hoping to enjoy what I do and create art semi-regularly. Here’s to 2024!

[lol-jackles]

Jensen may get a lead in a The Boys spin off, but honestly that entire franchise feels so "bought" that I won't be all that impressed. I'm not saying it because it's Jensen. Or Kripke. Or a half dozen of our other people. (That's what makes me hold back from being as critical as I'd like.) But I'm honestly tired of Amazon throwing so much money into promo that a short order streaming drop eats up all the creative bandwidth audiences have. Hope for better, but I think TB lead will be what he gets

Amazon has the try-hard vibe going with The Boys promotion, and then turn around and dumped it from it's Emmy campaigns and then the show fizzled out in season 3. My main issues are Kripke can't leave his ego at the door, which affected his writing.

Somebody once asked me how can Kripke be "too problematic" for SPN and "too PC" for The Boys.  Easy, Kripke is the common denominator.  How he treated SPN fans is how he's treating The Boys fans now.  Kripke did a fairly good job of painting SPN fangirls as crazy that shouldn't be listened to.  And now he's doing the same to The Boys fans by painting them as bigoted neckbeards that no one should listen to. It won't matter who actually makes up the shows' demographics, the small percentage of fans who are the way he's stereotyping them will be used to justify away all criticism. And it's like, it's just criticism, it's not like anyone is campaigning to get him fired or end the show, it's just people saying they did or didn't like the season 3 finale or did or didn't agree with a character's motivation.

Kripke seriously needs to stop commenting on the plot points via Twitter or interviews where he tries to insert elements into characters that are not present on screen, worse, it looks more like projections of his own agenda.  For example, he said Hughie was motivated by toxic masculinity to take Compound V.  People who have been watching the show would disagree because Hughie wanted to use it to protect people, meanwhile Kimiko takes the V because "so pure and selfless" but Hughie takes the V to protect people is just being toxic. Uh.. what? If Kripke wants to criticize toxic masculinity then he also shouldn't be a hypocrite about it. But you know what I think about toxic masculinity.  It's the same opinion I have regarding male feminists; it doesn't exist.  Dudes calling themselves male feminists are just pick up artists using it as a short cut through the courting process and getting straight into your pants.  Now apply that to Kripke's motive.

The problem that I think some people have with Kripke is that some of the questionable writing decisions stem from his desires to posture himself a certain way politically.  He said he won't kill off Maeve because he refuses to be "the showrunner that kills off an LGBT character".  And yet he killed Termite because he's not a main character.  He also killed off Noir, a popular Black character.   It all comes off as “I would rather sacrifice the story’s quality to avoid being bullied online by 5 twitter users.”  Writers like this become what they've previously mocked in the past, so Kripke is becoming Vought and focusing on popularity and projections lol.

Then the finale happened and that LGBT character Kripke wouldn't kill off became "Maeve could have beaten Homelander and she can survive falling from a skyscraper without powers because she's gay".   This then retroactively makes Maeve look like she enabled all of Homelander's terrible actions for years thus making her a villain.  Kind of like how destiel-hellers interpreted Cas's goodbye speech in 15x18 as romantic but then it retroactively makes Cas a villain the whole time.

If deconstruction and subversion overtakes good storytelling, then you've failed as a writer.

[sapphyreopal5]

I have a problem with saying things without sounding rude, but I promise I'm not being mean: I feel like JD got together with Gen because of his mental health problems, with this I mean that I think he subconsciously thinks he doesn't deserve real love and just stuck with her. I have some best friends who were in these sort of situations (I was in it too) and the more I learn about the couple, the more I feel strongly about this. Also Gen gives me snake vibes...

Hello Anon, thank you for coming by and sending me this ask. I am guessing you may have seen at least some of my more recent posts pertaining to Gen and Jared. I have spoken with a few people in PMs about my views in more depth and have similar sentiments you do. If you have not looked at some of my posts I'll happily link them in this post for your and others' review. I speculated about a month ago actually on Leap Day on my J2 relationship timelines post that Jared and Gen may have had some conflicts with say number of kids they would like and even when they want to start having kids. I believe Gen was more ready and eager to get married and have kids but Jared was more or less... wanting to wait. Of course, a friend just yesterday sent me a video clip where Jared pretty much said "have fun" with conversations of this nature with Gen and confirmed my suspicions: He wants no more kids but Gen does.

I made a noteworthy mention of the palmistry reading Jared received many years ago on a "blind date" he mentioned in one of the old Supernatural magazines back in 2008 that I believe 100% is relevant to what you are saying Anon.

"I believe deep down Jared is afraid of taking an honest look at things romantically (thus all this "extra" shit coming from their way), and it all goes back to this palmistry reading where he was told he will be financially rich but his love life will be bad and confided part of him is waiting for his love life to get messed up. Do note this was from the May/June 2008 issue #4 of the Supernatural Magazine, which was published around the time he broke up with Sandy and not much longer later met Genevieve...."

For anyone that is interested in the direct quote from that magazine about Jared's palm reading, that tidbit states:

"Interestingly, Padalecki has mixed feelings about palm readings. "I went to a palm reader years ago [on a blind date], and I don't remember exactly what she said, but she said I was going to be rich and have a bad love life. And I was like. 'That's crappy. Can you switch it?’ So, good news and bad news. But it was kind of kooky and funny, and she was kind of crazy…" Padalecki hasn't forgotten what the palm reader said, and he confides that a part of him is just waiting for his love life to get messed up." [X]

I also threw in this edit on that post March 13 around 12:04pm EST a couple weeks after I made the post initially that I think also greatly applies to what you are saying here Anon:

"EDIT (added 3/13/2024 @ 12:04pm EST): A good friend of mine brought up a very good point when we were discussing this topic a little after I was done making this post. She brought up how Jared had his first breakdown on the set of SPN while filming the episode "A Very Supernatural Christmas" which was back around Nov or Dec 2007. She said it's possible that given this happened months before Sandy and him broke up it is entirely possible he was not in the "right" mindset when all this dating and breaking up stuff was going on in his life. It should also be discussed in this context how Jared had his breakdown May 14, 2015 while he was in Switzerland alone (Gen had flown home within a day or two before this happened). I don't for a second buy the story she saved his life at any point. I hope some of her stans come at me for saying that because facts hurt, don't they? His so called "hero" flew home before the fact, and didn't stop to think if Jared was doing okay before she did. This trip to Europe in her eyes was a paid vacation to her, point blank. Also, given he was arrested in 2019 while intoxicated and also the bad behaviors on Twitter he's displayed in the past before Charlie seemingly took reign as his and Gen's social media manager, I honestly doubt she "saved" him from anything but being single and alone is about it."

Now for the "snake vibes", alright so I have some interesting things to say about this one. I am going to guess you're not talking about this from any metaphysical standpoint or spiritual point of view but more or less from a general, every day observations point of view. If you want to talk about the "extra" shit I spoke about, I can point you to the absurd Jared kissing her billboard here last summer, post sex (allegedly) photo here from May 20, 2022, and that stupid yet super cringe shower TOWWN ad posted on Valentine's day in 2022, and let's not forget the time Jared quickly deleted a post back in July 2021 (this Tumblr post being from the 31st but am sure this post was made on Jared's page a little before then) because it showed a container of pills and a black dildo besides it, and remade it with the photo cropped out for starters. Some people in this fandom have said that Gen had this photo on her page that was quickly around the same time period. Coincidence? Hmm maybe but I'll bet I know who took the photo to begin with, especially given what this Anon has observed with the Pads' social media behaviors.

Also, I can't stop laughing every time I see the blacked out background photo seen in this post Gen made for her birthday this year. I admittedly also once noticed a notification on my phone that Jared made a post and the caption talking about Father's Day last year in 2023. Like a dummy, I fat fingered and hit the notification before I could screenshot this. Lo and behold by the time I hit the notification it was GONE. However, right after that post was deleted it showed on Ge's page. Hmmm... It's also funny on those posts where they are being all "extra", Jared is no where to be seen "liking" these posts on Gen's Instagram. Also, I find it curious how the original Nowandgen page tagged in some of his posts that Gen once had is now gone and is now taken by a Gen stan named Julie. Hmmm but we are SO in love, aren't we? Also, we all know Jared's toboggan is a source of his comfort, we don't care if he wears this hat. In this Instagram livestream Gen and Jared did talking about the book "Happy Place" by Emily Henry ironically so, in the first couple minutes of the clip you can hear Gen saying "No, don't wear your hat". Don't get me started on the stupid comment I saw below circled in green (totally agree with the comment circled in orange I copied and pasted on this screenshot I took today, April 2, 2024). I've noticed a lot of Jared's more recent posts have been what I suspect are in fact in their guest house not the main house (ex. the "Channeling Walker at Home" post, this SPN family hoodie post), outside, or just not at home.

I listened to a podcast Gen did with Dave Hollis back in Nov 2020 someone sent to me not too long ago, which I posted on March 25, 2024. I talked about this in the context of how Gen just doesn't seem to really like her husband all that much afterall. Please review the highlights of the podcast below again straight from Gen's mouth herself:

4:30 (in the context of Dave and her discovering what really matters to them the most continuing from the last question): "This is the first time I lived with my husband. I know that sounds really crazy but my husband had been filming a TV show for 15 years in Vancouver so when all of this started you know he came down here. He had 2 episodes left and then that was the completion of the series. Personally, it meant that I had to live with him and deal with coparenting which was really stressful like the thought of it. And to make that work, and it was crazy because we were always in this tight bubble with just us and our kids and it really was simplifying. It was you know like the layers are gone. The interference is gone, drama is kinda out the window in a way, and we got to really simplify basic needs. It's so weird how much unlayering we had to do and that's what I'm finding through all of this is a lot of unlayering to get to the core".

7:25 (con't from above) I'm finding creativity in that work and you have to work on, on that relationship and um find creative ways to 'cause you know especially after the two of use have been together for 12 years, we're really different people and you grow at different times and sometimes you are like "I really don't like you right now" and then the other person grows in a different direction and you kind of have to find the balance and that creativity to come back together and that commonality to come back together and you know..."

This must be one of the best parts of the whole podcast right here:

26:25 "I was just talking to someone about this that my favorite relationship with him is a work relationship. Sometimes it's hard to be married to him because he's like, Jared is so interesting because he's so analytical. I mean my husband, I'm going to toot his horn because he's literally one of the smartest human beings I've ever met in my life and it's annoying because he will correct you on words you think he didn't even know. I have a book of SAT words just because I'm like I am going to get him. And so I'll just casually talk about something and use a crazy word in a sentence and he'll be like well you pronounced it incorrectly. It's so frustrating. Also in our marriage he's very giving and emotional and supportive. He's supportive in everything that I've done and I feel really lucky and grateful. I think even more so when it comes to work he is your biggest cheerleader and it's going to be a lot of time together. But funny enough, I think we'll be better at work than sometimes we are at home. Because I'm like, this is how the kids are, this is how I like them, this is the order that I like things in. And it's hard for me to let go I think, at home. But at work, it's just a really nice exchange and I feel really lucky, and he'll sit there too. If he's not working, he'll take it, pull up a chair and talk on the phone and watch at me and I can hear him bragging about me and whether he's doing it for my benefit I don't know but it makes me feel good and I feel really lucky that he does stuff like that."

But but.... we're so in love aren't we?! And let me just say this, maybe Gen really is a snake and is very two faced. What we see on camera is totally different from what really happens behind closed doors. I mean... who puts their young kids in therapy and calls it "brain exercise"?

29:50 "but for us specifically we both are in therapy, actually all of us, the kids are in therapy as well. We feel really strongly like it's a workout. So you know, we know we put so much emphasis on exercise."

Bottom line is, I highly doubt they are in a truly loving marriage. Can't convince me otherwise, what we see publicly is smoke and mirrors. You will rarely see how things truly are when it comes to public figures and most people generally speaking. I'm sorry to hear about your past relationships Anon and hope you have found greener pastures that have stayed greener. I myself have stayed in relationships too long after they stopped serving me in part due to my own mental health issues.

Now onto the spiritual side of things I want to delve into but gotta hit "keep reading" below in case some readers here are not interested in this kind of thing ha ha...

If you are like some of my other followers, I also talked recently about Gen partaking in black magic in multiple posts. Even if you and others find it to be hogwash or superstition, I think we can all agree that the things she talked about in making these so called boxes to "keep the marriage alive" and even keeping a box he used is odd at best and even creepy from certain points of view. I talked about it here with Gen's "snow dance for the gods", as well as this post where I discussed it in further depth and then when I first started speculating on her witchy habits here along that with one of her suspected partners in crime Charlie Capen, their social media manager. Lots of things straight from Gen's mouth also from this podcast she did with Dave Hollis. Some noteworthy things she said with respect to this topic include:

6:15: Dave said "talk a little bit about the ways you have had to be creative in maintaining the relationship that you have, the love that you have with the distance that has historically existed and the complexity of what it means to do the work that you both do. To which Gen responded "yeah I think it's finding the little things and I always enjoyed having a long distance relationship with him. It's kind of silly 'cause like it's in some ways it's like this vacation you have when you're together and then they're gone and so it's almost like super- not superficial but but it's not realistic and when we were apart, what I would do is create boxes. I mean he still has this box from um when we first met he was a port drinker. And he had a bottle of this Pinto port that he loved and so I took the box and I put in you know love letters and n' what have you and then once we had kids you know it obviously gets a little more complicated and you're strapped but just making that time. It's so silly but it's work and you have to treat it as such but without it becoming monotonous I guess.

Even if you aren't into witchcraft or just don't necessarily believe in that stuff, I myself have spoken with a psychic guy who made comments on Jensen's birthday post addressed to Danneel earlier this year who did end up talking to me some about Gen doing black magic herself amongst other things via PM. He said the following things. One of the noteworthy things from below he discussed a "strong protective field so she cannot be exposed". Maybe this relates to why so many people including admittedly himself perceive her as a cheerful, bright person who is a friendly woman. It could also be why I have yet to come across other psychics who have talked about Gen in relation to her doing witchcraft.

Note that this guy isn't in the SPN fandom, he is not a fan of Jensen or Jared's and doesn't actively follow J2 or the wives on social media or anything so much. I chose to share these screenshots crossing out his name and icon, and only showed certain parts of the conversation that are relevant to the topic here (apparently lives across the sea from where I am here in the USA, doesn't speak English and uses a translator to send messages). I do not believe personally Jared will stay with Gen forever, although from a spiritual context, some of what we are shown today can change tomorrow.

I will say that at the direction of my guides, strangely enough a few days before I even started talking to him and he made these comments, I was instructed to make a tarot card reading post I made last summer private. Months ago on this very same post that's now private, I was told also to cross out the parts where I talked about Gen and Jared "working things out" and "rekindling things". I also spoke of a "quiet separation" that won't be public knowledge which I believe is going on. Very interesting stuff, the things our guides know that we don't at the given moment. Hmm..... Thanks for the ask Anon.

[forsty]

I am once again thinking about the fact that Rooster is older than Goose, he outlived his dad... Rooster is 35-ish and Goose only reached his mid 20′s.

If Goose ever did somehow come back to life HIS SON WOULD BE WAY OLDER THAN HIM

I like to steal the plotline from SPN (season 12 I think) where the mom comes back to life and apply it here cause like... Goose gets brought back to life, and the last thing he remembers is being in the jet with Mav in 1986. To him, he’s suddenly yeeted 30 years into the future, a future he has no idea how to navigate. I mean phones? Computers? He realizes real quickly that he doesn’t belong there at all.

The family he had, the family he knew and loved with his whole heart, is gone. His wife is gone and so is the little 5 year old kid. He’s been ripped away from the life he knew and loved into some future where most of his friends are gone, his son is a grown man who doesn’t need him anymore. Also learning about everything that happened the last 30 years?? Him dying, leaving his family, Carole and Bradley being on their own, Carole getting sick and dying, his best friend raising his son because both he and Carole weren’t there when they should have been... How can he ever look Bradley in the eye? Mav is beyond happy that Goose is back, and so is Rooster, if not abit wierded out at first because he doesn’t remember his dad very much, but he does remember the comfort from when he was 5. Goose tries his best to be happy about being back too, cause he understands what it means to both of them, maybe especially Mav.

But Goose just doesn’t fit in. He loves his best friend, and Bradley will always be his son regardless if he’s a 5 year old or 35 year old, but he doesn’t know this Bradley. What he’s like, what his interests are, what his favorite food is, does he still smile in his sleep like he did when he was a kid? 

He has to grieve the family he lost. He has to grieve his wife, who has been dead for over 20 years, to him only a day, he has to grieve the version of his son he remembers, the 5 year old boy with a toy plane in his hand and a huge smile. He has to grieve his best friend, the reckless daredevil who he always feared would die before he did (and yet...)

but how can he explain to his best friend and son that he needs to grive them the same way they grieved for him?

[smokedanced]

i'm still shadowbanned so i can't interact with your posts, see my ims or asks, reply to even my own posts, and if it appears i've unfollowed you i have not unfollowed anyone in several weeks, shadowbans fuck with mutual checker and follower lists.

because i'm not more than lurking here because tumblr, but i have to quickly note:

i'm not watching the episode. ever.

i don't know if i'm watching the third season if it gets renewed. i'm too fucking traumatised from previous favourite character deaths, i think it's shitty writing to kill off the disabled character and the character who has just found some happiness after who knows how many years of having not had any of that. while i don't know if i'd call it problematic (ableist or bury your gays), i do think it's shitty, and it definitely is personally triggering to me.

so i'm doing what i did when spn killed off cas: i'm never going to watch the episode.

i'm also going to try harder to not care about ongoing media again. i'm tired. i'm really tired of caring about things and then ending up having to grieve them. i'm not ok. i'm certainly re-jaded to fucking tv shows. i shouldn't have let myself care. every fucking time they fuck you over and you have new trauma and grief.

and don't you fucking dare come tell me "you can't have grief/trauma over a fictional character" i will full on block you.

it's valid if you enjoy the show, i would never tell you not to.

there are major character death scenes in media i have enjoyed, as well. it's ok. just because something hurt me doesn't mean you aren't allowed to like it.

most importantly for this blog. as a rule, i will not allow threads where izzy is dead. even if neither one of us is writing izzy for the thread, i will not allow any threads in the ofmd universe that even refer to izzy being dead. i will add this to my muse specific rules before posting again when i'm out of tumblr jail. obviously this only applies to threads with me, you can write whatever you want with other people. you don't have to content warn tag his death for me either. just don't bring it up on our threads and don't bring it up to me in ooc conversation. thank you.

i feel like my tone is really harsh and cold right now but i'm just trying to. breathe. sending love to you all fellow izzy enjoyers.

[hologramcowboy]

Hi! I'm the anon who sent you the ask about girls obsessing over celebrities, and thank you once again for that beautiful reply. I agree with a lot of the points you mentioned, but I could never express it so beautifully!

About my perspective on this, I believe that till date women are not allowed to be open about their sexuality, which results in them resorting to channel those emotions through a celebrity crush. Young women are vulnerable, and they quickly get carried away by those powerful feelings, which saddens me deeply. I'm in my early 30s, and new to the SPN and Jensen fandom. Jensen seems to have a rabid female fanbase, and when I see his fans blindly supporting his each and every choice, and harassing Jared fans, it truly scares me. I'm incredibly attracted to Jensen's looks, and his performance in the early seasons of SPN makes me deeply emotional. His questionable choices about his personal and professional lives leave me heartbroken, but my hopelessly romantic heart continues to care for him in a weird way, which I cannot express in words!

You moved me, anon, that was one of the most beautiful questions I have ever received. 🧡

Thank you for your appreciation and warmth.

It truly is scary how AAs lose their balance, humanity and morality because they fail to balance their perceptions when it comes to Jensen and I will never get why they also attack Jared in the process.

What makes me happy is there's a quieter group, made of people who truly appreciate Jensen without needing to bash anyone and who know how to apply their critical thinking despite adoring him. It brings me so much joy when someone like that writes in and it gives me faith in the harmony and love that we can permeate in this world. You are one of those people.

I hope you value you as much as I value you, it brings tears to my eyes (the happy kind) whenever I get to see someone truly appreciate Jensen as a human (flaws and all) not just as a sex symbol.

"His questionable choices about his personal and professional lives leave me heartbroken, but my hopelessly romantic heart continues to care for him in a weird way, which I cannot express in words!" This is so relatable, human and endlessly beautiful!

I have no more words for you, just waves of this: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[minalblood]

Ep 10... oh boy theres a lot to say with this one.

We begin with a nice twist. The woman needing help is Akrida and the victim is the other woman who's stopped to help. Since I've recently been reminded of it, this set up instantly made me think of Sam.meeting Cole for the 1st time, but in that the one flatlined actually needed help.

The Akrida committed to the acting I see.

God the actresses did such a good job raising the tension

LOVE seeing Millie do more handywork around. We dont have nearly enough of her getting into machinery

Mary and John hating being left to research is funny af to me.

Congrats Mary for getting into college and I like that John is actually happy for her, even ribbing her a bit. Love that dynamic actualy.

"Normal life will have to wait another day" thay cut deep fellas ngl. Mainly because i would argue its exactly what Sam and Dean told themselves to put off actually getting to do anything they wanted. And we have this exact sentiment echoed 5 min later by Carlos for why they need to break up with Anton (cant afford to with the fate of the world on their shoulders). The fact that both of these are accompanied by Dean's monologue about hunting and happy endings? Very very relevant to Dean and the life he led. But more importantly, the "how far will I go to get it" echoes back a few.more things amd makes it almost ominous. We'll come back to this when we meet Mr Sheffield (i dont remmeber the characters name rn, will use it later when they say it) since the dark meaning to Dean's words is highlighted by his story.

This might be the most clear indication of who Carlos was before the Winchesters, the version Samuel was mentioning when talking about them a few ep ago. The lone wolf version, the impulsive one, the not getting close to ppl one. Im very happy they've changed, i think they're happier like this.

Oh noooo, I forgot we have Roxy here 🥲 this'll hurt.

John and Mary see a tea set and alphabetized books out: now thats truly disturbing behaviour

John and Mary any other time: eh, thats normal

I live for the chaotic pair these 2 make together

Why tf does he still have the key if they threw him.out of the MOL? Then again, considering the many issues with the MOL, this is only a mildly annoying thing.

Ah yes, hunters are apes commentary, ffs what even started this bullshit feud between hunters and MOL?? It was there on Samuel's side too, and we even see Henry go with that particular opinion...

Sooo, either Jack was really the one experimenting on monsters or that actually was Hobbes' job, regardless we know what that turned into - not just the various bodyguards that our scooby gang has encoutered thus far, but the more insidious uses too like the monsters Cuthbert Sinclaire reprogramms or the manipulation of Mrs Butters or even Mary's own brainwashing. Safe to say all this send my mind to Naomi and how heaven has a very similar approach to keeping their angels in check. Fitting then that it's the Winchester side of the family that is MOL legacy with the Campbell side being the hunters family qho tends to go for a more straightforward will just eliminate the threat vibe (more hell aligned u could say). "A lobotomy makes most monsters subservient *wink*" he says and I cannot not be filled with revulsion on multiple layers. Including the actual issue with lobotomies generally and how their extended "use" was due to a fraud profitting off of people... yeaaaa all the red flags with Jack/Porter here. But also in general it goes back to the type of MOL we have in SPN, the exact kind that JAck/Porter is are the ones still alive, who have very little actual care of who they harm in their scientific pursuit.

Clear alarm bells sounding when askes about Henry, he has a very clear tell.

Hint hint nudge nudge about Jack/Porters lack of family

You know the thing that actually annoys me about people like Jack/Porter? The fact that if he'd applied his knowledge to actually get ppl depossessed he could've actually done something helpful, that would save ppl, but nope, instead he focused everything into his fixation and inability of letting go. To everyones detriment.

Well, Roxy's motel room reminds me of several times we've seen Dean in similar places... especially after the Mark got bad.

Roxy breaks my heart. Everytime.

And we have another instance of possession being portrayed as the violation it actually is. SPN had a few moments of showing this, most notably with Sam and Lucifer, but we've rarely had such an indepth showing of exactly how someone no longer possessed is coping. The only other ones I can remember clearly delving into are Jeffrey in s7 and Nick in s14, but in both those cases, Jeffrey and Nick were more akin toa depiction of Stockholm Syndrome or at the very least a dependence had been created having been possessed so long. Which is in itself a bit problematic a message to send tbh, but Roxy meanwhile is the opposite. Not only does she not want the Akrida back, she actively is trying to deny it ever having happened initially and she def doesnt want to be reminded of it.

Ironic that it's Carlos who says the forgetting isnt working for Roxy... considering

I also adore the parallel made between Jack/Porter and Lata in this episode? Like they both have that scientific curiosity that can become really dangerous (as seen with Jack) but unlike Jack, Lata actually wants to help people so she uses what she knows (just as much a type of brainwashing technique as Jack/Porters lobotomy fyi) to offer someone help. But! Lata asks for Roxy's consent and is upfront, where Jack/Porter is lying and manipulating and taking foe himself.

Mary's instant red flag reading of Jack/Porter for the win, but she should've listened to her instincts faster. She believes next to nothing of his words. I love her so much.

I love the round table Arkida scene... its so much fun to watch. Ironic that the Akrida call hunters pests... also yay Dean!

The fact that Jack/Porter is so so pissed off is his own downfall tbh. The bitter comments fucked up his facade.

Tonyyyyy yessss. Also Lata and Tony yaaay

I love how absolutely huge gossip queens both Lata and Carlos are.

I also love Carlos' little notepad during the scene with Roxy.

The description of her possession is way to visceral fuck I fogot how hard to watch this was. And how much it echoes to asault. Not even echoes tbh considering we have a clearer scene relating to sexual assault when Jack/Porter tries to have Dorothea possess Mary so thw comparison of possession to assault is very much there this episode.

Wonder if Jack Wilcox defected to the Brits in SPN? And began what would later be Lady Bevell's expertise? The fact that he even put on a British accent def is meant to remind us of Bevell and the Brits.

God Mary and John are obvious af that they suspect shit ... ffs kids!

Carlos continues to be the one that actually uncovers key info.

Aww, Carlos and Lata are so so kind and comforting with Roxy. I love them so much.

Im so proud of Roxy, but what I genuinely love about how the ep was written is that even if she'd have gone along with the erasing of her memory, it still would've been a valid way for her to move on. Like this it obviously works two fold in somewhat convincing Carlos they also should take a leap of faith that alls gonna be well with Anton, but its set up in such a way that regardless of Roxy's choice at the end, Roxy's own wellbeing was all that mattered however that looked. I can appreciate the nareative not ramming a specific interpretation down our throats.

Ah, yes, wartime decisions excusing the means... it nearly never actually applies tho, Jack. Tho I will say it's very satisfying having it be said to John who in SPN would use this exact rethoric for a while slew of shitty choices.

Now I wont get into the whole issue with the golem being used in this ep and specifically how they kill the golem - others have said far more better informed stuff on it (shoutout to @endofthebookpod fantastic episode discussion) and I do have a plethora of issues with it - what I do wanna say on the subject tho is that at leasr insofar as Jack is concerned it makes sense that he'd steal and use a golem for his own benefit (similar to how the nazi did in 8x13). The actual problem with this is how the writers chose to tackle dealing with the golem here. Because ultimately the golem is used as a weapon by Jack, just as all his lobotomised monsters were. But the ep chosing to not clarify a few things and deciding to burn the golem??? Not good fellas, not fucking good at all.

I do appreciate John's resilience in fighting the golem tho.

Like I said, the sexual assault parallel to possession is even more clear when discussion Mary's possession.

Gruesome death for Jack tho, I will say.

"Things we do for love"?!?! John Winchester I will murder you! If Mary doesnt do it first for u even suggesting that. I do apprwciate still seeing glimpses of SPN!John even now, 10 ep into it. Because for all that people can change, its very very hard to do so and its a slow process.

Thank you Mary for shutting it down immediately. High hopes that this low key promise they made here spells good things for their future. I do hope.

I also love that Lata explains why Roxy wanting to erase her traumatic memories isnt the same as Carlos avoiding dealing with his intimacy issues. But I also love that Carlos feels safe actually confiding in Lata, for all that they banter and shit talk they're each others person.

Perfect timing on the Tragic Haircut lady. Also yea, it def is a tragic haircut.

Noooo, Akrida!Kyle is here. Using Johns past against him is smart but also i need to read that file.

I will say, I never read Millie at the end as believing that John did anything like Ive seen in a couple of other places mentioned. I just saw it as her being a. Shocked about a dead body b. Shocked about John holding a dead body and c. The police being on her heels with john holding a dead body.

But that's all for today folks. Next up, ep 11. Slowly but surely making it through the show.

[shallowrambles]

Michael + wants

Revelations of key SPN themes in 14x01

In 14x01, Michael visits a devout human, a rebel angel, and a vampire. In trying to figure out who he wants to have on his side, we get a window into some of the key themes of the series. I've put this in my side blog, because I know my pessimistic views on Purgatory and vampires are not sexy nor preferred in the world of Supernatural, but I do like to throw out contrary themes from time to time...so here I go.

1. Humans: They don't know what they want.

Why are we here? (Later, we will learn that AU Michael believes it's all meaningless.)

///

Interestingly, even though AU Michael scoffs at love, two characters (Dean & Anael) will want LOVE in the very next Michael meeting.

This taunt is something Michael drums up specifically to taunt this "devout man." Michael wants to call out his hypocrisy of pretending to care and not caring.

More importantly, is it true? Probably not completely. AU Michaels' whole shtick is taking truths and applying the worst possible conclusion in order to get under your skin.

This devout man may indeed want love and peace, but he's indecisive and self-sabotaging because life is fuckin' hard. (We know that repeat trauma can cause an emotional numbing, too.) This man's made so many mistakes, like betraying loved ones. But those mistakes don't magically cancel out the desire for love and peace. Michael is either being willfully cruel OR in his perfectionism and rigid worldview, he can't process nuance or the concept of forgiveness.

This devout man calls to mind Sam, at least when it comes to Sam's constant search for meaning and answers. (Sam is Solomonari). There's also a bit about this Jamil leaving his friends behind in the war to die (soldier-deserter) and being unfaithful to his wife/family, and now, he performs religious rituals to soothe his inner anxieties and find comfort.

Of course, he calls to mind all alcoholics, as well. Which is most hunters. (John, Bobby, Dean, Sam, even Mary... Also Raphael's despair in just wanting to escape/for it to all be over.)

Michael's verdict: Humans are a mishmash of complicated imperfections. In the world of Supernatural, phrases like "simple, pure" are a warning signs of unreality and idealizations. Humans, on the other hand, are messy. To Michael, they're not worth saving because they're complicated.

We can almost hear Chuck talking to Amara in 15x17 Unity: "Humans...they'll let you down every time."

That's humanity! Because people are real and imperfect.

You can also hear echoes of Metatron from 11x20: "Yeah, sure, they're weak and they cheat and steal and... destroy and disappoint. But they also give and create and they sing and dance and love. And above all, they never give up! But, you do!"

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2. Beaten-down soldiers: longing for home

Next, we come to Jo (Anael). She counts a wad of cash:

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LOVE.

So, indirectly, Michael IS telling us what Dean wants, too. It's a bookend to OG Famine wondering what is the thing that Dean can't fill up, not with booze or drugs, not even with sex. (Ergo, love is the thing Dean wants but he can't have. His core wound.)

And Oh, Sister Jo.

Her is a reverse of Jamil: it's a hypocrisy of pretending NOT to care to cover up how much she actually cares.

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Anael wants love, not material things.

Dean also wants love. He passes the time with other things to try to cover up what he really wants, because going after what he really wants is scary, and more importantly, not allowed. He is like Anael.

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So, washed-up angels soldiers are lost, sad, fallen things. They're weak.

This could call to mind Cas, especially the part about "rebellious angel who never played by the rules," but I still think this Anael is mostly about Dean, like Jamil Hamed is mostly about Sam.

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3. Vampires: Pure, won't let you down, no baggage

So, Michael finally settles on vampires. But why?

What are vampires in this context? They're pure. Simple. They won't let Michael down. I've said before, of Purgatory's "pureness":

Dean's simplified Purgatory world of black-and-white kill-or-be-killed (no-mistakes-can-be-made-here-no-one-can-let-me-down-here) is his False Answer to ending the difficult decision-making associated with hunting in a complex world AND maladaptively dealing with disappointment

This is Michael's False Answer, too. Because the world is meaningless, Michael doesn't appreciate metaphorical shades of gray, much less colors and vibrancy. Michael's better world is just simple, with clear rules. Michael is bringing back heavy season 8 vibes, what with calling out Jamil's deserting of his friends in Syria, and now bringing up the "purity" of vampires.

Season 8 is all about figment-like wisps of Romanticization, all the way up to romanticizing solutions to the world’s messy problems and romanticizing relationships that either don’t fit in the real world, or don’t allow for the full expression of your imperfect self. It creates ghosts that represent the perfect home life + companion, with no baggage and the perfect war + perfect comrade, with no baggage.

Here, Michael is looking for perfect war companions, his blood brothers if you prefer, because "war is what Michael does." Michael has become his worst self. He's fruitlessly killed everything he cares about, just to get his father's attention. After all, there seemed to be no archangels left in AU Earth, and the complicated civil wars of the angels are not pure. Angels were never simple; it was always brother-against-brother and extreme politicking in the world of the angels. So here, he arrives in a new world and finds an ally in something he views as pure. There's no baggage.

But importantly, these figments (a) cannot disappoint you due to their purity and/or simplicity and (b) elegantly solve issues by eliminating the messy business of decision-making and disappointment.

I know vampires have a lot of valid sexy themes, but often in Supernatural another theme swirls around them more strongly, and that is this one: simplicity. Like Purgatory. They're one-dimensional, uncomplicated, and they do what you want / never let you down. They are perfect war companions. Keep them fed, and they'll owe you.

Not like complicated humans.

That's why, in season 15 (The Trap), Sam and Dean's "worst" ending is becoming vampires. They devolve into singularly driven, one-dimensional characters that lack complexity. They are devolving into a metaphorical Purgatory, a "suicide" of no longer being willing to engage in a complex world. It all becomes blood.

Michael (God) doesn't want Jamil (Sam) -- he's too unmotivated and messy and he lets you down. Michael (God) also doesn't want Anael (Dean), because she's weak and wants that ooey-gooey love stuff. Gross. What Michael (God) wants are vampires and Leviathans.

It's as if Chuck is a symbolic fourteen-year-old dudebro writer, insisting his show is about "only two brothers who hunt," and that's all. (No messy human shit, and certainly not love n' romance.) As he tells Becky in season 15: "Monsters are so cool, right? All those teeth! People read for the monsters!"

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

The anti reactions from yesterday have me just shaking my head. I am by no means a professed stan of Jensen. I'm a fan of his works and I've followed his career, I appreciate his interactions with the public (like cons) as well as his public persona, but I don't worship the ground the guy walks on. He's a human being who I enjoy watching on my screen from time to time in different roles or displaying said public persona. That's it. I support him, but I don't stan him blindly, if that makes sense. Not him or any other celebrity.

That being said, I found the anti/critical reactions to something Jensen allegedly said that had been tweeted out from the Dallas Con to be very interesting and highly entertaining in some cases, especially with one particular anti blog that consistently claims to love this man and want the best for him while psychoanalyzing him and hating (and blaming everything that Jensen does/says that disappoints them) on his wife with the maturity level of a fourth grader. To put it bluntly, antis showed their asses yesterday and it is pure confirmation of what I and so many on here have been saying for quite some time now in regards to these posts/blogs.

Yesterday:

Tweet from the Gold Panel: "Jensen: 'he and I don't take on projects for the impact, we're serious about what we do.'"

Me: 'huh, you know, that wording seems a bit... Eh, you know what, knowing Jensen and how this fandom works anytime he dares to breathe, I'm going to wait to see the panel myself tomorrow and get the context of the question and his answer. If anything, he just misspoke, but I highly doubt he meant it in a bad way. Knowing him, he absolutely cares about the impact it has had on so many people and he might have thought the asker meant something else. Still, I'mma wait and see for myself.'

Antis:

and one particular blog (the one that claims to love him be in love with him):

'Jensen, you're no true actor and I would know since I'm an expert on acting! How dare you! You've hurt me so deeply!'

Today:

I watched the Gold Panel. Question was did the guys think about how massive the impact SPN would be in reference to their careers aka people knowing who they are, people following them, etc. Basically, did they know what it would become, something Jensen clarifies with the fan before answering. Jensen's actual response:

"Yeah, I don't, I mean, I guess to kind of quickly break it down, I don't think he and I go into any of these, uh, jobs or roles or stories thinking about the impact it's going to have externally. I think we go into it as...you know, they hire us to come in and do a job and...and he and I both, uh, we both take that job seriously even though it may not look like it all the time. But we also have a lot of fun doing the job because we truly enjoy doing what we do. That being said, we're not thinking 'oh let's do this because I want the effect that's going to have on a greater scale'. We're just doing our job. And hopefully, it resonates to people. Hopefully, somebody out there is entertained. And if that's the case, then we've done our job."

Me trying to see what had the antis losing their minds, especially that one blog and NOT finding it anywhere:

This is why you always watch the panels for yourself and avoid anti posts/blogs at all costs. They always claim they are there to be the opposite to AA's, to apply critical thinking, to view Jensen as human instead of a god, to be the ones with "a reality check", but they jump just as quickly as that group and crucify the guy before doing due diligence. Critical thinking should also include getting your facts straight before spreading misinformation (and in this case, more hatred). This is literally the same tool kit lawyers, law enforcement, and investigative journalists use all the time. It's good old common sense.

So block, mute, filter these people. Do whatever you gotta do, but this proves once and for all what we've all been saying. These anti/critical blogs that claim to "apply critical thinking" are full of shit.

Critical thinking is defined as "the objective analysis and evaluation of an issue in order to form a judgment." The reactions were not objective, especially the one blog that had an emotional heartbroken reaction. They were subjective, colored by their own biases. They did not analyze and evaluate the situation fully before issuing a judgement; they were missing a very crucial piece of the puzzle before they started sounding off and they knew it but they didn't care.

So the next time an anti/critical blog says in defense of their hating on/criticizing of Jensen (or anyone really) that they're applying critical thinking and you should try the same when you propose an alternative point of view (about Jensen or not), just remember it's all a smoke screen of bullshit. So again, block, mute, filter, whatever you gotta do. Personally, I think this shit's hilarious and entertaining on a Real-Housewives type level.

And that one blog that had such an emotional reaction to something that Jensen didn't even say in the way they thought he did, it's one thing for you to feel the way that you do, but spreading misinformation as you did, saying Jensen is no true performer, I don't know, maybe it's time to let go of your obsession with loving (aka being in love with) and hating this guy and move on?