#this doesn't even encapsulate EVERYTHING

[ladybyakuya]

| MY STARGIRL + rafayel, sylus, xavier, zayne. 

+cw. — f!reader, headcanon + scenarios format, established relationship, unprotected, s/d dynamics, explicit smut, rafayel is in heat, period sex, oral sex, f!overstim + m!overstim,  | +wc. — 3.5k |

+syn. — the thought of having a quickie with you occurred to him so suddenly and so enormously that all he needed was just to make it go away. However, it did not stop there.

+notes. — something possessed me while I wrote this. So happy that I’m finally making the debut post for this fandom & thanks to @hayatoseyepatch for beta reading all my lads pieces. | redirect to blog navigation

◈ RAFAYEL. 

“It’s just the tip baby,” Rafayel whispers against your ears followed by a prolonged groan. Encapsulated by his arms you feel immobile under his touch. He adds, “I promise.” You know him better than he knows himself. He says it's just the tip but the way he is being handsy with you, playing with the hem of your robes, pressing himself against you it does not strengthen the promise part of his word. 

“I don’t think you will. . .ahaAah!” His lips have already moved onto the bottom of your nape. You can feel his teeth sinking into your skin.  You can still look at the view of the vast blue of the sea through the window but as his hands skim under your dress cupping your breasts you moaningly exclaim, “I bet you won’t stop just at the tip.” There is a hint of mockery in your tone, underneath that, a challenge. Rafayel can take on challenges quite well even though he will whine about them throughout, very well when it is coming from you but not a taunt. That’s still a little hard to digest for him.

“Hah! We’ll see who’s on the winning side,” He rasps against your ears before turning you towards himself. Now your back is against the warm glass window. The heat does not irritate your skin since the sun is not very rowdy today but Rafayel is. Rafayel does not wait any further for any form of resistance but ends up smashing his lips against yours. It is the first time he has been like this, so needy, so rough, and above everything you like it. Is he on his heat cycle already? Both of your hands rest on his chest, trying to push him away at the possible realization because it would be dangerous for both of you but he just wouldn’t budge. So, instead of trying to resist, you just give in. 

“We’re not going to do this here, are we?”Rafayel does not answer your question with words but with his actions. He clusters all your dress up and tucking it over your boobs. You gulp as you help him to unbuckle his belt. As soon as his pants hit the floor, you can see the evidence of his yearning for you. 

Rafayel takes you into his lap by hoisting you up in his arms. The moment he pushes the head of his cock inside you, a gush of warmth washes all over your body. It is a beach resort solely owned by him where you have accompanied him but there must be at least a few staff, right? What if they see you like this? The chances are bleak but never zero. Those worrisome thoughts were pushed aside you feel the base of his cock hitting your skin with a strong deep thrust making you arch and moan.  You tip your head forward to say, “But Rafayel. . .you said. . . it's just the tip.” 

“And you said I —ahh— I can’t be stopped at just the tip.” He states as he starts to rut into you. “I'm just proving you right. Doesn't it feel good to be on the winning side?” it does . . . it does . . . your arms encapsulate around his shoulders as he starts to bob you up and down his fat shaft as you bury your face into his shoulders. He is stronger than his usual self. As he quickens his pace you start to whimper and you can feel him leaking and growing inside you, reaching your sweet spot as he keeps rutting into you in full yet strong thrusts.

By now, he has fucked you in different positions and different places of the resort keeping in mind not to finish inside you. He can not just help it: chasing the thought of cumming inside you especially when he fucked you raw for the first time. But he can wait. No. he will wait for you till you are begging for him.

And, when the sun sinks into the sea making the sky blush at its fullest, you and him are deep in slumber, in front of the fireplace, under the sheets, naked underneath, and holding each other.

◈ SYLUS.

It’s painful. He has been teasing you for a while now and your posture does not make it easier for you. Your muscles feel clammy. The way Sylus keeps rubbing the tip of his cock-head against your soft, tender flesh of your femininity gradually wears off your patience, thinning your limit and testing your sanity. It was you. It was all you. You admit that but you did not think he would be able to keep up when you kept being so needy, so ready for him. By now, you have come to know his melting points and you know when to abuse them and when not to. When you said you needed him, despite being in your months-time, at first he hesitated because you are not someone who can easily beg or ask for things but when you kept being handsy, and distracting him he said he would— with just the tip— a mere quickie but you never knew it would turn out to be this tormenting.

“Wait Sylus. You gasp as he rests both of his palms over your respective knees. This position.”

“Yeah, too deep?” Sylus verbalized with a veil of mischief over his face as he spread your legs apart as a result pushing the tip of his cock-head inside you. But before now, he would jock down to kiss you,  suckle at your nipples, and play with your hair but his cock would still be rubbing against the outer folds of your pussy, and truth be told, it was good, it was okay you felt satisfied but the moment you felt his cock inside you, even just the tip, it made you want all of him. “Let me know if I hurt you, okay?”. He isn’t; if anything he is diluting your self-control by pushing himself in you in small doses.

Sylus smiles as he cups your cheek, rubbing his thumb over it. He sees it the way you keep swallowing, gasping for breath, biting your lip, touching yourself — you do that when you want something yet can not ask for it. As you half-lay on the bed, with elbows resting on the mattress creating dips under the influence of your pressure Sylus leans towards you his hands still intact on your knees, spreading them further as a result of which he sinks more into you; you gasp followed by a moan feeling almost half of him inside you. With a crease amongst your eyes, eyes closed, chest heaving up and down while the night robe is barely covering your breasts you look divine under the dim light of the room.

You can feel how aroused you are. It would merely take a few thrusts to make you cum. He can feel that too yet dares to ask, “Do you want me to move?” Since he asked so nicely you decide to play into his little game. Wrapping one of your arms around his nape, you pull him into a strong, yearnful kiss. He can tell. He can certainly tell how much you want him now. As you slowly feel his hands under your waist locking in, your legs start to curl around his hips The lights go dead when you pull away from the kiss to take a breather and he pushes all of him into you adjusting you in his lap. A gasp of a high note blesses Sylus’s ears followed by a trail of short quick huffs as if he ran fingers along the piano keys. Even with the lights out, when you glimpse his eyes on yours a hot wave of embarrassment washes over you. 

The lights are alive again when you bury your face in his chest. 

“Kitten, you doing good?” He asks that with the whole of him inside you despite knowing how such soul staring gaze while having sex makes you nervous. He walks into a different room in that position carrying you where two mirrors are placed opposite to each other. 

You barely peep seeing him through the mirror at first and then look into his eyes, commanding, “Fuck me as you hate me Sylus.”

A throaty chuckle escapes from his chest as he says, “Y’know I can’t do that.” As he puts you on the bathroom sink. “However, I shall not disappoint my queen.” placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

◈ XAVIER.

Xavier claims that he is not much fond of the idea of punishments in general but he has never denied yours. In fact, he has enjoyed them thoroughly till the end. He has never been the one to ask things right away and always ends up taking detours after detours observing your expressions so minutely, so intently since it sends an ample amount of electric thrill in his heart for a few seconds — the way you look away when he makes advances on you, the way you quickly lick your bottom lip before dismissing his approaches or the quickening of your breaths, the flustered look— even if it is just for a mere few seconds — it’s all worth it in the end when you just give in, doing all those innuendos, craving your walking path only to him and him alone. 

But, this time you decided to try tackling him from a different angle. You did not resist like you usually do when he slowly started to cave into you. In fact, you agreed with him right away. Both of your stress would just sublime especially if you two took a quickie break together. Ah! The look on his face— was priceless: with one of his eyebrows pitched higher than the other as a small crescent appears along his lips: he is so confused. Even if Xavier can not quite navigate your thoughts he is not backing out and you know he won’t.

As you sit on the nightstand crossing your legs, one upon the other with your heels still intact you summon him with your arm raised, all the fingers lightly curled into a fist except your index finger that moved to and fro for him, while Xavier stands at an arm's length from you. He walked towards you but stood, waiting for your next move. You loosen his tie and pull it away from his collar with a swish. He leans into you but stops midway as he feels your pointed nails digging into his chest. 

“Turn around,” you utter with a grave tone. It is so odd to see you like this that Xavier can not help but be pulled into this intimidating daze of yours. After you tie his hands at the back he turns around and then the fun begins. Xavier loses his mind for a good minute when he sees you taking his cock out of his trousers, jocking down with lips forming an unfamiliar pout, only to spit on it, stroking his length all over, coating your saliva on his cock. He groans loudly enough for you to look at him. Is he okay? With his head tipped backward you fail to gauge his expressions so you spit on your hand to use it as a lube for his cock.

Xavier tips his head forward as he feels his cock being surrounded by something, but only a part of it. There is a gap in between your cross-legged sitting posture: the gap between the end of your knee and the apex of your calf muscle with your other knee underneath. 

“You don’t mean — Xavier stammers— that I—

“Yes. I mean exactly what you’re thinking.” You exclaim with a firm tone by keeping your fingertips underneath your hand, elbow rested over your knee as you wait for his move. As he starts to move he can understand how much he has to work for himself to cum and you are just staring at him. It drives him insane, really. With his hand tied at the back, he can only do so much so you decide to help him— out of pity of course. After you unbutton his shirt one by one, you hold his hard nipple with your sharp nails and pinch it; Xavier has to fight the urge to hold himself back from latching his lips on your warm skin.

As your hands move upwards, caressing his cheeks, thumb abusing his lips. He glances before he takes your thumb into his mouth while his hips are in constant motion. “Go ahead. Get yourself off.” Yeah! He doesn’t need to be reminded of that. You watch his face contort, your thumb pressed in between his teeth making you wince as he peaks his orgasm. He pulls out his cock and the exhaustion is heavy on his muscles. 

Inserting a finger into the gap between his belt and trousers, you pull him towards yourself, whispering, “Good boy ”over his lips before kissing him. He moans while kissing and surrenders as you untie the knot of his hands which immediately clamp around your shoulder heads. Well, aren't you an angel for showing kindness to him?

“More. . . more . . . I want more. . .” Xavier mumbles taking a quick breather before diving back to one more kiss and this time he is rougher than usual. 

◈ ZAYNE.

Zayne has been teasing you for . . . ah ! You do know how long has it been since he pushed you over the pool table. His cock is still inside his pants, intact but awake. Although the only view you have is the ceiling and sometimes his face when he rubs the clit folds by running his thumb roughly over them while the rest of the finger rests against your inner thigh. He has unbuttoned your dress shirt enough to have a view of a slice of your supple skin. Every time he presses your bud, followed by a rough rub towards the apex of your cunt he sees your navel sink. It turns him on, too much for him to ignore the attention that his cock has been begging. Your palms lay flat on the green of the pool table yet every time he jocks down to have a taste of your arousal your nails dig into the corase of the table. 

As Zayne stands up again, you whimper before saying, “Stop teasing, me. just put it in already. ” The tip of his nose glistens. Does he know that? He licks his lips before responding, “But I haven’t even. . . he trails off because part of him does not wanna scare you by bringing the thought into light that how he has not taken out his cock yet. He has been touching your folds, lapping over your arousal once in a while. You can not see but only hear the lewdity now while Zayne can see that you are so wet that the moss green of the pool table has become dark green. You don’t need to know that, not now.

“Have a little trust in yourself, I know you can take it.” Zayne supplies in a tart manner but actually, he is reminding himself not to cross the thin boundaries too much otherwise he won’t be able to keep his urges at bay. He is under the influence of the same pain as you yet you are so whiny about it which only makes it harder for him to refuse you in this vulnerable needy state. He was just teasing you, flirting ever so slightly to get you comfortable and now he is in deep trenches of pleasuring you. 

But, there is pain underneath. Your body tells him that you want more but he is not sure about himself how long he can keep at it.

Fuck. He can’t. Not anymore. In a series of rough and messy movements, he has his cock out of his pants, aligning to your entrance. One glance and the moment he is inside you he can feel your cunt clench around his cock while your legs wrap around his hips. He can hear the click of your heels as he leans over you, his face in the nook of your neck, not moving but still adjusting to the feeling of your gummy walls wrapped around him but you are so impatient. He feels your wet suck of the lip over his collarbones which denotes his desire for you. As he starts to buck his hips against you, you suddenly think how the design of the ceiling is not boring anymore.

[myntrose]

12:39 am - the only thing that fills up Caleb's mind is you

Caleb would be the type of guy who wouldn't really care about what was being said of him. Yes, he's charming, charismatic, and very easy on the eyes. But no matter what is being said to or about him- either positively or negatively- he really just doesn't care.

After all, how does any of these things that said about him matter if it isn't being said by you. God, he could be on the other side of the room as you, having a totally different conversation with someone, but the moment you even make a slight mention about him? He's standing a bit taller, paying no remark to whichever irreverent person is in front of him, completely driving his focus onto you and your words and your face and-

yeah, he can't help but only think of you.

Not only is his mind just filled with you, but he also keeps track of things about you as well.

You two would be walking around the grocery store. He's pushing the cart, letting you ramble about your day while picking whatever food you want off the shelves. When in the snack isle, you'd point out ones that you like, some you don't, and some that you have never tried. While this was you filling up empty space with conversation, Caleb is memorizing and making a mental list of everything you've said. The next time you're having a bad day, just know to expect Caleb with the exact snacks that you said you enjoyed, even if you don't remember saying that you did.

He'll hear about the latest fashion trend from his subordinates, or the newest cafe that's opened up, or a game that recently game out. All those things go from one ear out the other. But when you're both lounging at home together and you bring up any of those topics ? He's suddenly buying you that new top you've mentioned, creating reservations to that cafe, or pre-ordering that game so that you can be one of the first people to play it. As long as you're interested in something, Caleb will be interested in it too.

He can be hypocritical about this, the way he prioritizes you above anything and anyone else- including himself. He will remind you to drink water every hour or so, even when he hasn't drank water all day either. He would get on you for not eating your meals on time, despite him not doing so too. And heaven forbid you try to hide an injury from him. Caleb would simultaneously scold you, bandage you up himself, he doesn't trust anyone else touching you, and try not to lose his shit all at the same time- even if he was bleeding to death himself.

It's safe to say that you're the first thing Caleb thinks about when he wakes up, and the last thing his mind lingers on when he finally settles for the night.

Life has been far too cruel to the both of you, but Caleb will do everything in his power to make sure you're happy and well. If he were to describe how he felt towards you, Caleb wouldn't immediately say love. No, that word doesn't encapsulate the expanse of his emotions towards you.

Because to him, his love towards you was a hunger so absolute that calling it affection would be belittling. No, Caleb loved you like a beautiful, necessary ruin.

@myntrose 2025 - do not copy or translate

[acid-ixx]

i feel like reader from again&again would end up being hypersexual, idk if anyone has mentioned it before but they’d up having a lot of trust issues and attachments issues.

— masterlist !

tw: sexual themes and talks of sexual assaults.

i was contemplating whether i should make them hypersexual or not!!! i'm speaking from my own personal experience that it's a very complicated feeling to portray. chasing for that momentary high, doing anything you can just to feel pleasure because you were always stripped from attention that you find it in other ways, the absolute disgust that comes after, the regret, yet the constant cycle of returning to that habit even after you promised to stop from one round, doing it over and over again even if at most times it feels like you're losing your enjoyment and doing it all out of the need for fulfilment; i can do that, but that will be bordering on dub-con and darker themes if i were to write it, which i'm not sure if some readers of mine will like, especially since conner is the love interest—

but truthfully, i think it would do well for a hurt/comfort prompt after they get together. you know, trying to push yourself too hard by trying to pleasure kon despite your inexperience, fearing that he'll leave if you don't do what he wants. the panic, the hesitance on even feeling his body because, truly, you've never held someone with different intentions, never been touched so intimately by others before yourself. and that kind of turns into an addiction, a need to do whatever it takes to keep his eyes on you even if it destroys you inside out.

yet your boyfriend is receptive, he notices how your lingering touches can sometimes feel cold yet done so through necessity, how you chase after your peak even if it brings more pained tears than pleasurable moans. how you beg for more yet shamefully hide yourself from a mirror right after. his confrontation after just a week, his soft voice promising that there's no need to rush it all out, how he doesn't see you as an object but his equal, his power, his everything. how there's no price to pay to obtain his love, your body an altar than an offering, how his was always yours to begin with.

and with how the family will react to this? honestly, the first person who would break at the moment he hears this information is dick grayson.

most portray him as a playboy, a puppet for most to sexualize. he takes advantage of that, turns it into his weapon, but deep within, he has his fair share of trauma being assaulted by not just one, but two (or more, depending on the comics) women. and with just how silenced and invalidated men are too when it comes to their trauma, it wouldn't be a surprise that, well, dick would be incredibly heartbroken realizing how his baby bird, the very same child he swore to protect, trudges the same path as him, carries the same burden on their back while pretending like everything's okay.

it destroys him, inside-out, how he's the oldest, the one supposed to guide the people around him, the one who buries all the pent-up anger, the turmoil at carrying the burden of all the terrible things that happened to him, turning it into motivation— yet ultimately failing to guide his very own sibling.

the one he introduced to the manor, the one he came to call his baby bird on the very same day.

i think about that a lot, a moment where he'll suddenly barge into your room, whether it would be before you'd be before you'd be kidnapped or not, and just... hugging you, burying his head on your shoulders while his hands just encapsulate your entire body. you don't know how or why he found you, don't know why he's shivering, why he's muttering sorry's and unbidden promises, desperate callings to your name like he just can't believe you're still alive, your shoulders damp with tears and dick just refusing to let go of you. i think about it a lot, how in the case of sexual trauma, you'd be dick's ultimate failure, a person he failed to protect from the very same thing that destroyed him. and yet he couldn't even bond it over with you, because you're so... so guarded and so broken that even if you and dick now share just one similarity, you still refuse his comfort, his promises that never again will you handle it alone.

it's not impossible that the reader would be hypersexual whilst still sporting insecurities. i have my own bodily issues too that i'm coping with; i typically emulate that onto the reader. so if anything from above fascinates my readers, i'm willing to write it out for future chapters because i love tackling complex topics, it helps me make my brain bigger teehee.

[championari]

So I’m constantly thinking about Charles and how he could eventually meet Edwin with his feelings.

Here’s something I realized: Charles, despite constantly talking about things he miss, things he wants, he actually has a complicated relationship with desire as a concept.

How I would put it is by taking Supernatural as an example. There’s an episode in Season 5 where the boys meet Famine, a horseman of the apocalypse. However, Dean is not at all affected by him. It’s because due to being the older brother, and a Hunter, Dean was never allowed to consider acting on or even having desire for anything.

You can see where I’m going with this. Charles, like Dean, doesn’t actually believe he should want anything, due to “not being good enough”.

This is something actually touched on subtly in the show through the acting. When Niko says, “I know what it’s like to want something you can’t have.” Edwin directly looks at The Cat King’s bracelet, while Charles stares off into space. When Tragic Mick describes Angie’s light as enforcing a sense of yearning, Edwin looks at Charles, while again, Charles looks off blankly (can’t access screenshots right now). Edwin knows what he wants but is scared of it, while Charles doesn’t know what he wants because he can’t allow himself to consider it. This gives an entirely new meaning to Charles’ hatred of the Cat King. A supernatural entity who describes his kingdom as being about “want and pleasure”. Thomas is the encapsulation of everything Charles was never allowed to have. Charles chases after things that he knows he can’t have, romancing a living girl despite knowing she will eventually leave. Charles can’t consider returning Edwin’s feelings because that would mean he’s been running away from what’s been in front of him the whole time. That what he wanted was always there, at his lowest point, when he thought he deserved it least.

Returning Edwin’s feelings means he was already enough. And Charles can’t imagine that yet.

While I would obviously adore an interaction between Charles and Desire of The Endless, ultimately I don’t think it would do anything. Like Dean, Charles might be completely unaffected by them because he’s spent most of his existence building walls around his desires. Edwin was completely blindsided by Thomas because he never even considered having to think about Desire due to having no attraction to women and that being the dominant narrative of his time. Charles pursues Crystal because he still wants to feel like he has a chance at “normal life” (which as I said is self-punishment by throwing himself at something he knows he can’t have). To accept that he’s in love with Edwin would mean no longer pursuing a living person. Edwin would be it for him, which he kind of already gets but it hasn’t fully sunk in yet. Just like his death

There's also this exchange that drives me nuts:

"You gave up tranquil eternity…for your friend?" "Does that sound like someone who belongs in Hell?"

THIS. MAKES. ME. INSANE. Because Charles, like he always does when confronted with his own wants, completely avoids it. He doesn't respond to The Night Nurse's obvious confusion as to why he ran from Death, and instead turns the conversation back to Edwin. He makes it all about what Edwin deserves, not what Charles saw in Edwin that led him to make that choice. You could say this is practical as time is of the essence, but I think that's the point. Charles throws away the chance to explain his viewpoint on their first meeting, the consequences of his choice to run from Death with a boy he just met and knew for a few hours, and instead remains single-minded on Edwin's safety. Like when Edwin reasonably questioned, "Why are you getting angry?" when he began freaking out over Thomas getting close to Edwin, he says nothing.

There's just so much happening in that head that I can't stop thinking about.

[rationaliity]

new lesson | aeon! dr. ratio x f. reader ( 18+ )

not a continuation post but more like a horny extra sideplot you're welcome you freaks /j in which our aeon ratio has come to learn that he, too, has human desires. he's perhaps a little too fond of his emanator, and perhaps his emanator is a little too pretty for him to be able to control himself. my aeon ratio plot here tags : face fucking, mind break, power play, mind control, consensual nonconsent that turns into to consent, painful sex, womb penetration, dacryphilia, asphyxiation, begging / whining / crying, use of the term 'girl', religious imagery sorta, ratio has a huge dick and it hurts, he also doesn't know the limits of the human body and pushes you way past yours, coercion almost, obsession, mention of stalking, yandere ratio, reader almost loses consciousness twice, struggling, afab anatomy, finger fucking, possessiveness, mean ratio calls you a failure once god x disciple word count : roughly 4000

the aeon of dissemination has taught you plenty while you were underneath his tutelage. so many whispers of the cosmos that others would fail to hear, so many secrets untold, shared only by those in the know. an all-powerful being with much more power than you could ever hope to know, yes, and yet.. during your private lessons together, you found yourself bearing witness to his more human side more often than not. your time together was much less a deity whispering incomprehensible knowledge to his devout pupil, and much more a civil conversation between humans. almost.

you were his emanator, which meant that you derived your power directly from him. this caused you to be able to reach heights previously unknown to you, but it also became your shackles. you were bound to his word, for his word was law. if he told you to bark, you would bark. you had no choice in the matter. if he told you to, by any chance, strip down and worship naked at his feet, well, you couldn't deny him that, either.

ratio had grown to enjoy his time with you. no, rather, he had grown fond of you. you learned quickly, you asked the right questions, you were beautiful, and kind. you were everything he wished for in a companion. even aeons get lonely too, surely you understood that. he found himself curious about you while you were away from him, often opting to lose his corporeal form and watch you from the shadows. he had always preferred doing things from the shadows, anyways, so this was nothing new.

you were beautiful. not just in your mind, but your body, too, something that ratio hated to admit. he had assumed, wrongly, that he had no attraction to human bodies, only human minds. but yours.. it stirred something in him, made him question himself. his motives, his.. desires.

and he desired you. he wanted that to be clear, and yet he bided his time, waiting patiently in the shadows of your home for the next time he would summon you before him, something coming up rather soon.

as you arrived within his domain - a huge, expansive, never ending library filled from top to bottom of books on everything in the universe. no matter how obscure, you could find the information you were seeking in front of you, from the tiniest of details of the most unknown planets to the biggest complexities of the cosmos.

" dr. ratio, it's good to see you again, " you called out, approaching his throne, sat in the center, surrounded by bookshelves covering every side by the front. there, ratio was sat, his legs crossed with an old book in his hand. " i pray you're doing well ? "

" i am, " he nodded, his demanding gaze flickering from the book to you, taking in your every single move. ratio snapped his book closed, his eyes never leaving yours, leaning forward in his throne. " i have been reading about human pleasure. it has been a subject previously untouched by me, but as you know, one must encapsulate all things to be able to full grasp the complexities of life. "

you stopped in your tracks, stunned. he had been reading about.. human pleasure ? you swallowed thickly, allowing yourself an awkward, small laugh, your hand coming up to the back of your head as you tried to figure out what to do with yourself under his gaze. " oh ! i.. see. it's surprising that you've just uncovered this now, considering your knowledge in human psychology. "

" would you say that those two things overlap ? " he asked, the book resting on his lap now, completely forgotten about now that he was in your presence, the human that had made the aeon of dissemination question himself.

" well.. they're definitely related, " you started, thinking about how to properly explain yourself before you said anything further, a quality that he admired. " human desires are just the culmination of inherently desirable qualities in a partner, right ? those who take a more submissive role often desire dominant partners in all aspects of their life, not just in the bedroom. of course, there are exceptions, but it could be used as a rule of thumb for understanding how humans interact with one another in a romantic and sexual sense. "

your explanation earned you the briefest of nods. " would you say that you yourself are in this broad generalization ? or are you an exception ? " he asked, his words low and gruff, like he was waiting on your answer to his question. " you, who dominates so much of your life. you teach the willing, guide them towards knowledge. not many would be above you in status, i presume. would you consider yourself in need of a partner who you can take control of, too, or would you rather.. be controlled ? "

you hesitated, something that he noticed. were you not willing to share such details with him ? was it because of his status, or simply because of your nature ? you were rather introverted, although not necessarily completely since you could command a room with just the tone of your voice. well, almost every room. this was one room that you had no control over.

you were confused, but mostly, you were curious. why did he want to know ? what was he gaining from learning such private and intimate details about yourself ? this was the first time that he had asked such revealing questions to you, although you weren't unaware of his recent curiosity with your life outside of the walls of this library. this was the first time he had actually shown any type of interest in you, and to be quite frank, it unnerved you a little bit. but if ratio asks a question, it gets answered. that much, you knew. " i.. find myself leaning towards the submissive role in bed. i prefer if my partner could.. command me, sometimes, and take control whenever possible. "

dr. ratio didn't say anything for a while, his eyes narrowing slightly, his legs uncrossing as he examined you from top to bottom, taking in your attire, and taking it off in his mind. he needed to know why he felt these desires towards you. he needed to know why you, specifically, out of everyone that he had interacted with within the cosmos, earned his gaze in a way that no others did. he didn't even know that he had these baser, more carnal instincts.

" now, who would be able to control you ? you, an emanator of the dissemination, a being with knowledge vast beyond most mortal comprehension, " his eyes sparkled with something as he beckoned you forward, signaling for you to get on your knees in front of him, something that he very rarely did. and yet you complied, and his interest in this situation only grew. " who could control you.. other than myself ? "

kneeling down in front of him, and looking up at his eyes, you sucked in a breath, your heart beginning to race in your chest as you thought about the implications of his words. were you truly interpreting his words correctly, or was this another one of his many wise warnings that he often bestowed upon you when you have strayed too far away from your chosen path ? and yet, you could see the smirk on his otherwise stoic face, and you knew that you weren't misunderstanding his words.

" strip for me, girl. " you felt that throbbing pain in your head that momentarily disorientated you, your hand rushing up to grab your forehead as you swayed slightly. you swore you could feel every single nerve in your body standing on end, a warning for what was to come. yet, this was not the feeling inside of you that you got when he was commanding you to do something that you had no choice in the matter of, you knew this for a fact because he had done that to you a few times while trying to guide you towards the correct path. you had no idea what this was, other than to perhaps remind you of his power over you.

nevertheless, even while bursting with embarrassment, you obliged, first taking off your purple blazer, undoing the buttons of your white dress shirt and slipping it off of your shoulders, before finally your skirt, something that made you more nervous than revealing your chest in front of him. you stood up onto your knees, bringing yourself in between his legs as you pulled your skirt and underwear down at the same time, letting the fabric pool beneath you at your knees.

" good girl, you're such a good girl, " he whispered, his hand reaching out, gently petting your head before combing through your hair, his gaze revealing nothing about his intentions, only the hunger inside of him. you'd only ever seen this look in his eyes whenever he was learning, and perhaps, in a way, he was learning something. " come closer. i trust you're experienced in this area, or should i teach you the basics ? "

you shuffled closer, your hands on your thighs as you didn't dare touch him. " i.. have a little experience, but not a lot. my apologies, i.. my lifestyle doesn't exactly allow me to often indulge in these kinds of.. activities with others. " you were just inches away from him, your face so close to his body, his crotch. you had so many questions. was this all just an elaborate test of sorts ? did he truly intend to teach you how to pleasure him ?

did he even have the anatomy for such a lewd idea ?

" it's okay, " he answered, as if hearing your thoughts, which he likely did. he was a being of immeasurable power, after all. and yet here he was, exerting his control over you and yet at the same time, losing his cool like a lovesick fool unable to keep himself together in the face of a beautiful person. " i'm rather fond of willing students, so don't worry. you'll learn, i am sure of that. you're a very capable being, after all. "

" this body is human in all capacities, " he continued, his hand still on the back of your head, subtly pulling you closer. " i originally believed it to be human in all ways except for the brain, but i believe i have been incorrect. it seems this form, no, i retain many of humanities baser, more carnal instincts. i would like you to service me. you may begin with removing this trousers from me. i will guide you, but i'll warn you, i won't be gentle. "

all you could muster was a small nod, your hands finding their way to his pants, shaking with nervousness, and also maybe just a twinge of excitement. here, you would have an aeon underneath your touch, begging for you. surely this was a pleasure that not many got to partake in. you could see it straining against the fabric of his pants, begging to be released, and you couldn't help but purse your lips together nervously, taken aback by its size.

finally working up the courage, you unzipped his trousers, pulling them from his hips down to his legs, letting the fabric fall beneath him onto your lap, leaving him in just his underwear, his cock pressed up against his leg, the bulge in his underwear now impossible to ignore. you looked up again at him for confirmation, to which he just nodded. " proceed. show me your worthiness to be at my side. take me into your mouth. if you don't think you can do it, i will guide you. "

you bit your bottom lip, your nervousness slowly turning into palpable excitement as you finally pulled his underwear off of him, freeing his cock from its confines once and for all. he was bigger than you'd expected, with precum messily coating his bulbous tip. he was huge, so much bigger than anything you've ever seen before, making all other sexual situation you'd been in before this one become meaningless in comparison. ratio's grip on the back of your head tightened, almost painful as he leaned you forward, giving you virtually no choice but to comply with his demands.

nervously, you kitten licked the head of his cock, one of your hands holding the base of it so you could bring it to your mouth. determination to prove yourself filled you, along with undeniable arousal, but you knew that there was simply no way to take all of him in your mouth without pitifully choking, and he must've been aware, too. you began to bob your head up and down his length, feeling an unfamiliar sting in the back of your throat every time the head of his cock hit the back of your throat.

you continued this for a moment, earning contented groans from his lips, until you found your throat constricting involuntarily at the intrusion. you gagged, pulling away from him completely as you coughed, feeling your stomach do backflips.

if you couldn't take it properly without struggling, he decided, then ratio would just have to force you to take his cock to show you how it's done, even if you gag around him. his expression darkened as he pulled your head towards him, forcing himself deep into your mouth. you gagged almost immediately, your hands grabbing at his thighs as he controlled your head, forcing you to take more of his cock.

" you can't handle my size ? you're pathetic. a failure, " his voice was filled with disappointment and anger, and you could do nothing but look up at him, tears forming in your eyes from his bruising pace as he fucked your face without mercy. you couldn't breathe properly, struggling against him weakly, your nails digging into the flesh of his thighs, not out of disobedience for him, but because when humans feel as though they're dying or they can't breathe, they often try to fight to get their airway back, struggling uselessly.

" i'll show you how to please me properly, " ratio's hand pulled and pushed your head with your hair, his hips thrusting his cock deeper into your throat. your gagging is ignored as you choke around him. " fuck. yes, that's it. take it. learn to swallow my cock. learn to love it, " he threw his head back, groaning underneath his breath. " you can be so good at this, i know you can. "

he wasn't stopping, especially not when he was finally starting to feel good because of you, the pleasure building up inside of him. tears began to streak down your reddening face, your eyebrows creased together as you struggled. ratio fucked your face relentlessly, thrusting inside of your mouth and using you like his own personal fucktoy. finally, the resistance in your throat gave way after a particularly harsh thrust, and he penetrated your throat, his cock so deep inside of you that you couldn't breathe at all anymore. your eyes widened, your heart beating against your chest, the painful lesson beginning to take root.

despite the treatment, your slick was pooling between your thighs, creating a puddle of it beneath you. his rough treatment turned you on more than you'd ever thought possible.

ratio seemed to notice this, his tone holding a hint of amusement as he used your face, your nose pressed up against his pubic bone, his balls resting on your chin. " can't breathe ? perhaps you prefer i choke you completely like this ? you're enjoying it, craving it like a drug now. i must say, i find myself captivated by your abilities, too. "

you could feel your own helplessness, the power that he held over you surpassing even what you thought possible. you understood this lesson, although you could feel your head starting to fog up with the lack of air. you were trying desperately to find a way to breathe around his cock, but he was too deep in your throat, clogging up your airway. his guide on your head became painful as ratio invaded your body.

your eyes rolled back, your hands falling down to your side as you almost lost consciousness. finally, before you could truly lose yourself to the black abyss, he pulled your head up off of him, letting you gasp and choke, all of the spit that he was keeping in your mouth slipping down your lips, covering your chest and lap as you coughed up the air, blinking rapidly to familiarize yourself with being able to breathe again. your stomach was churning, and you damn near threw up everything that you had eaten for breakfast that morning. you felt weightless and incredibly heavy at the same time.

" you're a good girl. you learn quickly, " he smirked, his voice filled with satisfaction as he watched you catch your breath. finally, he stood up, his cock still throbbing painfully, ready to finally take what he'd wanted. " turn around, girl. "

that painful feeling in your head came back, causing you to wince in pain as he commanded you to turn around. finally agreeing, you turned around on your knees, looking away from him. his large hand pushed at your back, knocking you onto your hands, your ass up in the air for him to see. ratio had made himself comfortable with being in between your legs, his eyes admiring your naked form, seeing your pretty folds glistening with so much slick it was dripping down your thighs.

" such a pretty little thing. human bodies are beautiful beyond compare, even in the eyes to an aeon, but yours ? oh, yours is magnificent. truly, you are worthy of being by my side, " his voice was low as two of his fingers penetrated your wetness, testing your readiness for what was to come. he savored the feeling of your tightness around him, the way your muscles gripped his digits.

you gasped, letting out a whiny, pathetic little noise as you moaned, your back arching as his fingers hit that special spot inside of you, caressing it in such a way that had you drooling like a dumb mutt on your knees in seconds. his fingers moved rhythmically, his gaze on where they disappeared and reappeared from your body. the anticipation was building within him, and he found himself fucking you faster with his fingers, enjoying every tiny little mewl and whine of pleasure as it came from your bruised throat.

your cries of pleasure fueled him, the sight of you writhing, begging, and ultimately submitting to him was almost as satisfying as the power he held over you. " that's it. you're such a good girl. " without warning you, he pulled his fingers out from you, your body clenching around nothing as your moans quickly turned into gasps. " you're going to take me now, yeah ? submit to me, and i promise you a lesson that you'll never forget. "

your eyes widened, even though you knew ratio couldn't see it, and you felt your anxiety spike. " y-you can't..! i-it's too big, it'll break me, please ! " you begged, but your voice was falling on deaf ears as one of his hands gripped your hips, guiding his shaft to your entrance.

" your body is resilient, and i'm confident it'll accommodate me, " with a swift motion, he pushed into you, his cock stretching her wide. you cried out, your body tensing as he slowly withdrew and thrust again, just testing the waters of what you could and couldn't take. as his entire length disappeared inside of you, he couldn't stop his hips from snapping up, pounding his cock into you.

your scream of pleasure filled this vast library, a symphony of pain and pleasure. " a-ah, fuck..! your cock, i-its- it hu-hurts, 's too big.. " you sobbed, babbling on like an idiot, your words incomprehensible, your voice hiccupping in your throat. you were feeling like you were being split in half from him, like your body wasn't yours anymore. just like you suspected earlier, no other human man you'd had sex with previously compared to him, and you'd never quite be able to get fucked like this again if it weren't ratio.

ratio leaned down, his body pressed against yours, whispering in your ear, " you love this, yeah ? its painful, but it feels amazing. " his hips pumped faster, your cries echoing through the library with each thrust. your protests turned into pleas, your words lost in your ecstasy. " i want you to come for me. you'll cum again, and again, and again, until you belong to me entirely. you'll cum for me, and say my fucking name, " he promised.

you cried out, your sobs and moans mingling together as you struggled to figure out what you wanted to do, whether or not you wanted to pull him closer or force him away all at once. you were going to cum, and there was nothing you could do about it other than let him fuck you like he wanted to. pain and pleasure mingled together, but not so much as when he slammed into you with all of his body weight, the tightness of your body giving way as the head of his cock breached your womb. " v-veritas..! " you moaned out, and it all exploded within you, your pussy clenching around him as he fucked you through your orgasm, the pain of him breaching your womb and the pleasure of his fucking being far, far too much for you to take.

ratio grunted, feeling your walls squeeze around his cock as she came, milking him, too. the sensation was exquisite, his thrusts becoming frantic as he fucked himself into you as your arms gave out from underneath your, your face planting into the cold tile below. at this point, he was focused solely on his own gratification, pumping into you as your hips met his, your moans like a beautiful lullaby to his ears. " g-goddammit, " he swore, his balls drawing tight, his orgasm imminent at this point. he pulled your hips into his, his cock pulsing deep within you as his orgasm washed over him in waves, filling you completely with his seed, causing you to mewl out pitifully in response.

finally, he pulled out, his cum spilling out from your pretty pussy, dripping onto the floor beneath the two of you. he helped pick you up, cradling your body in his arms as the two of you rest at the foot of his throne together. you were nestled against his chest, your breathing coming out raggedly as you looked up at him, your eyes half closed and your body weak. ratio had breached you completely, filled you up in ways that you didn't even know possible. such was the ways of an aeon, you thought, unable to fight back against him even if you wanted to.

" you've taught me a lot about the human body, " ratio whispered, content just to hold you there, his voice holding a hint of vulnerability. " no, the human body, and perhaps the human mind, too. my own mind. thank you for this lesson, dear emanator. "

perhaps being an emanator didn't always mean that you held all of the power. after all, there will always be a being with more power than you.

[butwhatifidothis]

Imagine you're in the Trolly Problem scenario. And now imagine that there was a third level on the switch that took the trolly over 10 people, but you receive 100 dollarydoos once the last person's killed.

Imagine you loudly proclaim that you want to destroy those people to get 100 moneys, pull that switch with no hesitation, get the 100 doubloons, but you cry about how bloodstained your hands are because you pulled this specific level of the switch. Of your own volition. With no one forcing you to do it. And with there being plenty of other ways to get 100 dollareenos.

Imagine thousands of people looking at that and going "well they were forced to pull that level of the switch, they needed those 100 moolahs, they had no choice, and they're so brave to pull the switch to that level!"

That's kinda what we're dealing with here

The Edelgard discourse really is a never ending nightmare, that's incredible how someone can fight over how" you misunderstood a character" because they like her so "she has to be clean", in a game designed for 12 year old little boys. Man, it's like the MHA fandom fighting to death over ships in a manga designed for teenagers

I think the thing that baffles me—the thing that has always baffled me—about this discussion is just how much of a no-win situation it is to try and discuss any interpretation of Edelgard besides the one they obviously want you to have.

It's always like:

Them: Guys Edelgard is such an amazing, complex, morally grey character! Me: Yeah, but I really didn't like how she sided with the Agarthans and continued working with them even after she found out about the fact that they were doing human experimentations. I don't think that was worth the cost. Them: Wait no you're wrong she never did that and even if she did she totally had to because they were forcing her. If she had it her way she would never do anything bad ever we swear.

Like? That doesn't make her a morally complex character? In either scenario? If she would never do anything bad ever then she's not morally complex she's literally an angel. If she only did bad things because she was forced to, not of her own volition, then that strips her of the agency that would be required to make her morally complex.

And the absolute irony of parading out "she's morally grey" as a conversation ender or to get you to stop talking about the bad things she's done. "Morally grey" should not be the end of the conversation. It's the start. Things that are "morally grey" are inherently things that can be argued about, because the entire point is that it is not clear-cut as to what is the correct decision.

Look at the classic Trolly Problem. For the five people in the audience who are unfamiliar:

If you do nothing, five people will die. If you divert the train then one person will die. How you answer will depend on your own morals and values, and there's not really a right answer. Someone is going to die no matter what you do, and that's horrible.

You could argue that diverting the train is the correct thing to do, because you would have overall less loss of life (one death vs. five).

You could also argue that not diverting the train is the correct thing to do, because flipping the switch is an action on your part. You, specifically you, killed the one person because you are the one who made the decision to flip the switch.

When it's laid out like this, many people choose to flip the switch. However, there are variations on the Trolly Problem. If, for example, the choice was between doing nothing and physically shoving one person onto the tracks to stop the train, the number of people who are willing to sacrifice one person for the sake of five drops pretty significantly. Being closer to the consequences of their actions (it's much easier to justify choosing to kill someone when it's just flipping a switch vs. physically shoving them onto the track) weighs on their conscience more heavily.

But if you were the person being shoved? There's nothing morally complex about your role in things. You didn't decide to stop the train yourself.

That's how conversation around the moral complexity of Edelgard feels. Her stans want to insist that she's simultaneously morally complex while also not believing that it's possible to hold an honest, good faith opinion that she's anything other than completely, 100% correct to do what she does. She's supposed to be complex while also being the body being shoved onto the tracks by powers greater than she. They treat every conversation like it's a foregone conclusion that Edelgard is the body, so they can't comprehend why you might want to talk about complexity.

And just as a side note because I know someone is going to send this post around or screencap it or something and say "look at Vee, she's such a fucking idiot for not getting that Edelgard is pulling the switch in her metaphor! Fodlan was going to be ruined without her!"

I would actually argue that Edelgard's action might have done more harm than her inaction would have. Dimitri and Claude were already reform-minded people who had plans to institute changes in their countries as soon as they were old enough to succeed their positions. Dimitri openly defines his positions on crests (they are powerful and useful tools, but ultimately he believes people without them have their own unique abilities that should be elevated as well) and states his intent to exonerate the people of Duscur and provide reparations to them for what Faerghus did. Claude talks numerous times about his desire to tear down the barriers between Fodlan and Almyra and foster understanding and mutual trust between them. Rhea had always intended to step away from the Church of Serios once she'd revived Sothis, and she wanted to pass that responsibility to Byleth when the war began. Crests were already dying out anyway, and Hanneman was already working on tools that would narrow the gap between crested and non-crested people. If she had done absolutely nothing it is incredibly likely that Fodlan would have taken the course of reform anyway, just without one country being in charge of the entire continent. Nothing about the war actually changed either Dimitri or Claude's perspectives on anything, and in fact at the end of AM and VW they go on to do... basically exactly what they said they were going to do from chapter 5.

Her war actually delayed major reforms in Faerghus and Leicester, because Dimitri and Claude had to put all of their energy toward fighting the war (and in Dimitri's case, surviving on the streets) instead of focusing on reforms.

[dollyhao]

firefighter abby (fluffy fluffy fluffy) i have fantasies of being somebodies pretty, sexy little house wife which is why some of my works encapsulate that.

abby walked into your shared apartment completely drained from the day. you were in the kitchen plating food when you heard her heavy steps as she takes her dirty work boots off. you turn to look over your shoulder a little concerned. abby has been on a 24 hour shift and even though she's tired when she usually comes home from those, she always greets you with so much love, she's never quiet.

"hey baby," you say walking over to your table to sit your plates down. "hey." she mumbles petting the cat that rubbed against her leg. you can see her face scrunched up in an semi-permanent wince. her eyebrows are pulled together like she has this huge burden on her mind. you weren't going to ask if she was alright, it was obvious she wasn't. you pull her chair out patting the seat giving her a soft gentle smile.

her face softens slightly sitting and eating. you try to get her talking by telling her about your day at work and the new recipe you tried. she nods and 'mhm's at what your saying but you can tell shes not paying attention.

when shes done eating she grabs her plate and puts it in the sink and goes to leave the kitchen. you stumble out of your chair to catch up with her. "hey. lets shower together." you ask grabbing her hand pulling her to the bathroom. "i don't-" she begins as you pull her into the bathroom.

"let me do this for you." you tell her. she doesn't fight you as you pull off her shirts and pants after turning on the shower. now with her clothes off you can see the soot covering her neck and the dirt in her hair. you can see the dirt under her fingernails, her braid is coming loose and her eyes look swollen like she was crying.

you coo at her as you pull your own clothes off, ushering her into the shower. you start by taking her braid out and washing her hair. you massage her scalp, kissing her shoulder, whispering sweet words to her, "'m here baby," and "we don't have to talk about it, its ok." you start to feel her body relax under your fingertips. you turn her around to face you so you can help her wash her hair out. "you had a hard day? its ok im here for you." she looks down at you with so much love in her eyes, "thank you." she whispers lowly.

you smile at her placing a kiss on her lips before grabbing her bodywash. you wash her body gently and thoroughly placing kisses on her clean skin. you start to talk about what your going to do since abby has three days off. abby adds some things to the conversation and places kisses on your forehead as you discuss. the water washes the soap off her body she wraps you in a hug that expresses everything that she hasn't been able to say since she got home.

you hold each other while the water runs down your bodies chasing all your stresses away.

[yandereunsolved]

"Don't Stop Me Now" — Five situations where yandere Five loses it

cw(s): yandere themes, non-descriptive self harm, mention of suicide and domestic violence

1 — someone ✗ something is trying to harm you

Pretty straightforward. 

This is the numero uno that comes along with every yandere.  

Five grew up with an abusive, emotionally absent father figure. He was pushed to be the best, the most successful of his siblings, just for an ounce of affection. He was isolated for so many years with nothing more than a department store doll. He has had to put away whatever loose morals he had to slave away in The Comission.

Then you come along and brighten up his life. No, you do more than that. You perfect it. 

Then someone comes and tries to strip that away from him?

It's safe to say you've only seen that crazed look in his eyes when you're in danger. He doesn't care about whatever mission, the greater good, or whatever the fuck when you may end up being killed. He's swift and merciless, just as he was taught. 

After he makes sure you are okay, he'll hold you to his chest for what feels like forever. He just needs to become secure again in the fact you are alive. You are here with him right now. It helps ground him so he doesn't end up going about on a killing spree. 

Yes. That has happened one too many times. 

Klaus now knows not to joke about random people flirting with you. Their spirits won't stop harassing him. In his defense, how was he supposed to know Five would just go out and slowly torture them before letting them waste away into death? Klaus didn't think Five was that unhinged. He knows better now.

2 — you harm yourself (in any way)

He keeps an observant eye on you, so it would be a miracle if you managed to accomplish anything along those lines. 

Two words. no. more. 

He has the internal breakdown. He's just standing there and staring at you. There are tears in his eyes. He wants to yell, to freak out, but his voice cracks far too much when he tries to reprimand you. 

No. Just no. 

That's the only word that encapsulates how he feels. 

He is not going to allow you to hold any sharp objects. He makes sure you have no contact with Diego. Five is paranoid and suspects that Diego had something to do with this. Somehow. 

You are more strictly monitored. 

He has an entire list of mental and physical health questions he asks you each morning. If you tell him to leave you alone or that you are tired, there's about a seventy percent chance that he'll go off. It would definitely be in a Five way. 

He'd be teleporting around you and sputtering out statistics and caring yet demeaning words. 

3 — keeping him out of the loop

Five is meticulous. 

When you keep him out of the loop—which could mean not saying good morning to him or hiding a romantic relationship—he feels so powerless again. He needs to know what is going on with you so he can protect you if need be. 

Don't even try to argue with him. 

He's older than you, so he knows best. 

He has so much more experience at anything and everything. He can solve all of your problems if you just let him in. 

Does that mean he will do the same in return? No. 

There's no reason for you to know what he is doing at any point of the day. You don't need to worry your pretty little head about it. Aka, he's doing things that are morally gray at best and human rights violations at... that's still one of the better cases. 

Just tell him. Or he'll force it out of you.

4 — things being out of his control

This ties in with every other scenario. 

He needs to be in control.

Everything has to be perfect. 

If one thing goes wrong, then you may slip through his fingers.��

That isn't allowed to happen. It can't. 

It eats away at him at night to think something could happen that he can't control. 

The apocalypse happened, and he had to spend decades just accepting that fact. Until there was a chance he could change it. 

Now he has to. He has to change, sort, and neatly put away everything. No speck of dust is out of place. If it is, then he'll end up pushing himself into fixing it, to the point of exhaustion or death—whichever comes first.

5 — escaping successfully

The only time there is a plausible chance he will resort to physical violence. 

Why, why, why, why, why, why!?

How could he be so idiotic? How did you do it? Who helped you? 

Whoever helped you is going to die if they haven't already killed themselves because they know Five is going to be coming after them. 

He will act nonchalant, like he is in control, when he finally finds you once again. He'll tease, poke, and prod at your fear, like a ringmaster taming their lion. A part of this act is the truth. He has you back, and now everything can go back to how it was. The other part of him is still devastated and wants to curl up in your lap and just be safe there.

Yandere Five: fragile—handle with care.  

✗ @clarioscharm

[curseofdelos]

mentally I'm still here:

Nico insisting that neither of them are going to be sacrificed/left behind to satisfy the prophecy is a perfect encapsulation of his growth over the series and it makes me SO soft to think about

Nico as a character - particularly in BoO - doesn't have a lot of self-preservation. He doesn't really care what happens to him as long as the mission gets done. We see this most explicitly after he almost fades into nothingness after the Bryce Lawrence incident:

And again when he considers shadow travelling into Octavian's tent to assassinate him:

(Nico himself notes here that it was unlikely he would survive another jump. If Will hadn't stopped him, he probably would have died.)

In both cases, Nico was willing to risk death for the sake of ending the war. He puts very little value on his own life, and repeatedly argues to Reyna, Hedge, and Will that the possibility of saving camp (a place he never felt welcome at, might I add) is worth the risk of losing his life.

Even before Nico went on the quest with Reyna and Hedge, the others were concerned about his safety. Percy tried to remind him how unpredictable his shadow travelling could be, and Hazel notes that he has been acting strangely lately:

It's not quite clear what Hazel is worried about here, but my interpretation of this scene is that she's concerned that Nico isn't thinking - or perhaps, isn't caring - about what effect the constant shadow travelling will have on his wellbeing. Between Tartarus, the jar, and the Cupid incident, Nico's mental state is at its worst at this point in the series, and I think Hazel is worried he'll do something reckless - something he can't come back from.

And so in TSATS, when Nico is told that he's going to have to leave something of equal value behind in order to save Bob, the old him would have had zero issue sacrificing himself if that's what it took to ensure Will and Bob's survival. This version of Nico, who's been going to therapy w/ Mr D and opening up more and built a little support system for himself, can't fathom it.

Nico in BoO did not have a future. He had fully convinced himself that nobody cared about him or would miss him if he was gone - not Percy who fought for him at every turn in PJO, not his sister Hazel, not his new friends Jason and Reyna. He was ready to leave both camps behind because he couldn't see himself ever being happy there. He couldn't see himself being happy at all.

But now, in TSATS, he has a boyfriend that he loves, he has friends that he loves, and he has a community in Camp Half-Blood. He has experienced so much loss that losing someone else is his worst fear. The old Nico would have considered sacrificing himself to protect Will and Bob. At the very least, he would have kept that option in his back pocket as a 'just in case'; he wouldn't have sworn on the Styx that he wouldn't stay behind.

This Nico, however, is doing much better - not perfect, but better. He loves Will, and he wants a life with him, and he's not willing to give that up for anything. Nico has hope for the future, and he's clinging to that hope with everything he has. He sees a light at the end of the tunnel, and he wants to reach it. He's not willing to sacrifice himself because it means losing that future.

Gone is the cynical pessimistic Nico who assumes the worst because the worst is all he thinks he can have. Here is the Nico who has had a taste of happiness and is willing to fight to keep it. He's not going to sacrifice himself because he wants to live. He's not just fighting for Will here; he's fighting for himself too.

And seeing him go from "if it kills me, it kills me" to "it's not going to be me" makes me so ASDFGHJKL

[bluedandylyon]

That first locker scene and how it perfectly encapsulates Catra and Adora's trauma dynamic

NGH I've been wanting to talk about a particular screenshot in this scene for a while and I guess today is the day. Let's talk about Catradora's introduction post-exercise.

We start here, with them joking around after training. They're at ease with each other, but also Catra doesn't feel as vulnerable as to uncross her arms or get closer to her. This is a person who likes Adora but won't be super explicit about showing it. Adora obviously feels comfortable, her arms are crossed but it's because of uncontrollable laughter and her eyes are closed, showing trust.

Shadow Weaver calls Adora's name and you can immediately tell the ease is gone.

Adora feels the need to stand at attention, slightly scared about being caught relaxing. This is a person Adora respects.

Catra does not respect Shadow Weaver, so she locks eyes with her and doesn't stand up, her crossed-arms giving her a sense of safety and protection.

But Catra is still scared of Shadow Weaver, so she does end up standing up, just later. She also refuses to salute. Her defiance against her abuser comes out in small gestures like this, but ultimately she will obey because of the fear of punishment.

Adora wants to keep Catra safe while still maintaining her some-what comfortable position in the system. She does this by trying to show SW that Catra is worthy. She has the flawed belief that if she just tries hard enough, SW will change her mind about Catra and start treating her well.

Meanwhile Catra is pissed at what she sees as Adora pitying her. She does not want her help, it makes her feel condescended. She has always seen Adora get recognized for everything, so when she re-directs the praise SW gives her, Catra just sees it as humble bragging. "Oh you get praised for everything so now that you don't need the praise, you're second-hand giving it to me even though you just told me I was lazy and immature for not doing the exercise properly so I know you don't really mean it."

Adora's tactic (obviously) doesn't work (bc SW's hate for Catra is so internalized), and she's upset by the degradation SW's giving Catra, knowing it will really hurt her best friend. Catra is visibly hurt and frustrated...

...But she doesn't want to show SW her words hurt and actually cut deep, so she tries making a joke.

Adora is worried for her bc she knows how SW reacts to being talked-back to. And she knows Catra knows too. This is the face of someone who is thinking "why are you doing this to yourself?" Adora has probably being told by SW that she is only abusive towards Catra because she is disobedient and insolent. So unfortunately she has internalized the narrative that Catra is somewhat doing it to herself. She most likely thinks that if Catra just did as she was told and behaved, she wouldn't get treated like this.

This, THIS is the screenshot that started this whole-ass rambling. It's just perfect.

Not only do you get the obvious foreshadowing that Catra will be “enveloped in shadows” for most of the show (trauma-based downward spiral), it also shows that these "shadows" (trauma) are from SW. You also get from her expression that she is so freaking angry, but she looks away because she is (understandably) scared. She is not only angry at SW, but also at herself bc of her fear of punishment, she feels weak and pathetic.

You also get Adora’s passivity at the abuse. She looks scared for her, but isn’t willing to step in to stop it. This is abuse that has become so normalized that she is scared about the inevitability of it happening, but isn’t willing to do more than to check in with Catra after it happened bc of her safety in the system and bc she partially blames Catra for it. (She tells Catra "you are kind of disrespectful" when Catra later asks what SW's problem is with her)

Adora’s face is “I am scared for you, please don’t talk back to her bc you know things will get worse for you.” It’s the face of anticipation, of hundreds of times where Catra was punished in front of her and was told "You need to keep her under control" and understanding she failed to do that.

SW tells Adora to walk with her, and she immediately releases Catra and is excited about the inevitable praise she will be getting. Catra obviously is very distressed at the sudden departure without even looking back.

Adora realizes she was going to leave before checking if Catra was okay, so she stops in her tracks.

Catra's ears IMMEDIATELY perk up, begrudgingly feeling nice that Adora looked back.

Adora's expression is a question "are you okay?"

Catra shrugs: "not really, but it's fine"

Adora seems satisfied with this, so she feels okay leaving now.

Catra's expression makes me AUGH bc it's this "I really don't want you to go. I know I said I was fine but I'm actually really not and I could really use comfort (hence the crossed-off arms) but I can't tell you that bc I dont want you to think I'm weak and you need to go so whatever."

This scene is so freaking clever. While dialogue is important, you can tell SO much from their expressions and body language. It just perfectly encapsulates their trauma responses and how their dynamic changes when their abuser is present. It just also shows that their relationship was ALWAYS going to break bc of the rift SW created between them. Their communication is extremely faulty here, even though you can see how deep they know each other (esp in the silent check-in scene).

Anyway these two make me go RAH as per usual.

[berrryparfait]

HeeHee I just read you who came before me I need one for the boys please! I want them to feel a little insecure too 😛

not my first, but my last ⊹ ࣪ ˖

➴ original post: who came before me?

— ༉‧₊ᐟ featuring: sylus, zayne, rafayel, xavier, caleb x fem!reader

— ༉‧₊ᐟ premise: he knows about your ex-boyfriend, and he isn't dealing with it well. if only he knew how much you love him... 「i'm new to this. go easy on me, please.」

— ༉‧₊ᐟ tags/cws: slight angst, retroactive jealousy, reader's storyline doesn't follow game mc's, reader had been in a serious relationship before meeting him, insecurity, reassurance

— ♫₊ᐟ soundtrack: how do i tell you? – lizzy mcalpine

✧ a/n: please listen to the song while reading !! it encapsulates both reader and LI's feelings so perfectly i just had to use it, even though its meaning doesn't really match up. enjoy <3

SYLUS doesn’t feel threatened by your ex, at least not when it comes to material things. It’s unobjectionable that he’s more attractive, generous, and financially robust than him, and the thought delights him to no end. Like that diamond necklace? Use his card. Cold? Take his jacket. Lonely? He’s cancelled his plans to spend time with you. No—his insecurities lie in the fear that even after all this time, you still love that boy. That at least a small part of you needs something he’ll never be able to provide. Were his mannerisms more delicate than mine, his gaze more expressive? Am I too much of a monster for her to ever feel truly safe around me? Sometimes he wonders if you’d be better off with a little more…normalcy. He keeps these feelings to himself, of course, but he can’t hide from you for long. “I want you to know that you’re the only person who’s ever really known me. The real me. If you lost everything tomorrow, I’d still be right here, by your side.” He tilts your chin up and kisses you gently. “I'd spent so long fighting for survival. I'd rejected the company of others, fearing they’d only betray me. But then I met you. If everything I own burns to the ground, yet I wake with you in my arms, I’d still be the most powerful man in the world.”

ZAYNE doesn’t like talking about your ex. It kills him inside, knowing your lips once touched another’s, and your sighs of passion were once uttered for someone else. Those privileges were his. Your jokes, your giggles, your secret confessions—how many of them had he heard before you? But he’s never been one to live with hate in his heart. He doesn’t know the guy, and he never will, so why does this affect him so? He knows it’s irrational to be jealous over a man long gone from your life, but he can’t help it. Sometimes when he’s in bed with you, staring into your eyes and caressing your cheek, he wonders if he measures up. “Zayne, that was ages ago. I don’t think about him, so you shouldn’t either.” You put his hand on your chest and his breathing stills. “Hear that? I’m nervous just being close to you. This heart beats for you, Zayne.” He smiles before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’m working on these…illogical feelings of jealousy. I know I can be dramatic at times, and I don’t ever want that to get in the way of our relationship. Put up with me, will you?”

RAFAYEL stoops low. He teases you about your “lack of taste” and jokes about how offended he is that you didn’t wait for him. He appears unaffected by your ex-love, self-confident and at peace with your past decisions. But it haunts him at night, the thought of you with another man. He feels oddly possessive of your past, even though he’ll never have it—as if wanting to protect your younger self from heartbreak and danger. Most of all, he hates not knowing. Was he kind? Was his hair dark, or light? Was he good in bed? He’d never voice these questions out loud; they’d expose a vulnerability he’d never admit exists. So he masks his secret envy with humor, and fights every day to make sure you never love another man again. It isn’t long before you begin to see through his unbothered facade, and it nearly breaks you. “I don’t love him, Raf. I don’t even really remember him. The moment we became a couple was the moment I decided you were the one for me. And I don’t take matters of love lightly.” He glares at you playfully, but you can tell something inside him has softened. “Yeah, yeah. As long as you know it. You’re like, the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And I don’t like to share.”

XAVIER is a goddamn trainwreck. He internalizes his hurt, his turmoil—all because he doesn’t want to come off as too “needy”. Somehow, he’s got it in his head that you’re only with him because he’s your “type” (your ex too had a head of light hair), and constantly worries that he’s not enough for you. You both have busy schedules, and he isn’t the best at consolation; what if you felt the need to confide in someone more…in tune with their emotions instead? He hadn’t been an insecure person before, but this mystery guy, this faceless ghost who’d enjoyed your afternoons and midnights and most intimate moments—it taunts him. Some nights, he thinks he’s gone insane. I bet he wants to get her back. Who wouldn’t? He tosses around in bed, tormented by hypotheticals and intrusive thoughts that will never see the light of day. “Is this about my ex, Xav? I know you think the two of you are alike, but you couldn’t be more wrong. And I love those differences. I love the fact that you’re you, and I’d never want you to doubt that, ever.” He sighs and pulls you closer to him, a small smile on his lips. “Sometimes, I wonder how I got this lucky. What have I done to deserve you? I must’ve saved a planet in my past life, mustn't I?”

CALEB doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind it at all, really. He doesn’t mind that you’d once held another guy’s hand, gone shopping with him, bought him sweet gifts. He doesn’t mind that you’d once screamed another man’s name in bed before coming undone for him, baring yourself to him the way you now do for— Fuck that. He’s bitter and he’s selfish and he’s enraged, repulsed by the thought of another man touching you, loving you. On the surface, he’s chill about your past, ever the mature and amicable Caleb. But underneath all that wisdom and nonchalance is a rabid dog, wild and hungry and looking for a reason to implode. Why, Pips? Why did you give yourself to that-that stranger? He knows deep down that he’s beyond saving, but it destroys him to know your firsts will never be his. “I told you, I was just a stupid teenager who didn’t know any better! I can’t change my past, and I’m sorry for that. I chose you, Caleb. Please choose me too.” The anger drains from his face, and the guilt hits him like a truck. “I’m sorry, Pipsqueak. I’m trying to let it go. But I swear to god if I ever see that man I’ll make sure his nose never returns to its rightful position—”

— ⋆˙⟡ ©berrryparfait

《 please do not copy / plagiarize / translate my works or publish them on any other platforms. 》

[crustyfloor]

I feel like Paratise is definitely a song about Ivan's reflection on his relationship with Till, how he found his heart in Till's presence in his life now that I hear it, but really also the full depth in how selfish Ivan is, how these feelings of his function and how much he desires in such a way his heart doesn't outwardly appear to be, to think back to Nowhere, an encapsulation of an Ivan who had not met Till and had not yet been influenced by him- Ivan's life was lifeless, unemotional in all senses as he found life was just something he was surviving, "wrong or right, win or die" he didn't consider any complexity because the world was simple, you're either the kind of person that lives or dies here, there were bad people and there were good people, simple cateragories that made it easy for him to grasp the world, in that it describes his passive reaction to the world, he was content with just living like that, being another life in Anakt garden appealing to the aliens and appearing perfct until he would eventually die

And then there is a shift. The song references a scene where Mizi and Till were lured to the wagyein in Black Sorrow, and the moment Ivan's eyes opened to Till. -"I bared my fang for the first time within that shadow" referring to the moment Ivan's fixation and fascination on Till developed right then and there because of the way Ivan felt drawn to someone like Till who was so different from him, exhibited so much endless warmth and life that Ivan couldn't see within himself, and inherently, Till was the opposite of everything Ivan believed in. Till's intensity, life, and anger, the way he breathed humanity, awakened something in Ivan (exactly...exactly..) Ivan had never wanted anything or anyone like that before, but from that moment moving forward, Ivan would want Till, fight with him, for the acknowledgement and connection he found in his tumultuous relationship with Till

Something helpless, obsessive, and selfish made Ivan childish and desperate when he would seek Till out, even if he was only met with vitriol and confusion in return. Ivan understands where they stand with each other, and still, this song aligns with how Ivan perceives himself as twisted and unlovable. But he has always, always been content with lingering in Till's shadow instead of recoiling from the rejections because in Till's heart, in the anger and the frustration and the pain Ivan would leave him in Ivan claimed a space inside of Till just for himself, like Mizi did with the way Till lived for her, wrote for her. He wanted to selfishly "take up the biggest space in Till's mind," but there is only a passive hope that he can fit in between the empty lines, so he fits himself in the crevices of Till's cracks and wounds like a bug to claim a space. Sees the way Till readily regards him with disdain, yet recognizes him, takes in everything Till gives him, the moments where he feels his gaze, and calls that little space his own to replace what could be love (It's interesting because, even if he doesn't recognize the way Till does care for him, even his hatred would suffice for Ivan, as long as he isn't refusing Ivan from his space). As long as he could have more and more of what Till would give. As long as he could still linger, Ivan liked this wayward relationship they had together. Being with Till allowed Ivan to feel so much, to live for something unlike before. That kind of freedom itself was his paradise

Paratise's duality is so fascinating and good because it's describing all sorts of cruelty and darkness, something repulsive, yet it's still a declaration of a sensual yearning and desire as an expression of Ivan's feelings -

Ivan's feelings for Till are obsessive and unsettling, violent but gentle, passionate, and luminous. Ivan's instincts and mentality have been distorted since his childhood, otherwise, he can't express himself in "normal" ways. I would guess that's exactly why Ivan perceives himself as such a parasite. And perhaps why the only way he sees himself getting close to Till is by something forceful, imposing like a fist, like giving Till a reason to lash out and building the foundation of their relationship on something sour, to wound him deeper and become an unforgettable scar that Till wouldn't be able to understand, whilst expressing only the most vulnerable parts of him where it couldn't be seen, likely he didn't think they could possibly be accepted with how clumsy and different they were from what Till could do by comforting flowers earnestly

The way he wants to hurt Till and to crawl into a place inside him, somewhere warm and far away from the world they live in, where Ivan doesn't belong, a place within Till that was something that Ivan wanted all to himself- "Be my own private paradise" even if it's just a small thing or to a cost. Intertwining his existence with Till's, desiring Till is uncontrollable after it's festered so much into something so strong. Initially, I was confused by the title, but I believe that's why "paratise" is intentional. It's exactly how Ivan sees this relationship he and Till have made, it's a wordplay between paradise and parasite... an obsession and an infatuation so deeply twisted and visceral and beyond words and something too disturbing to be accurately be described with love or hate, it meshes into something indescribable into a word that's the inbetween what Ivan finds in this relationship, a paradise and something unmistakely twisted and sticky and dependent like parasitism, something uniquely Ivan in ways other words can't perfectly describe

[fluffydeoxys]

my jeb design, now including the character analysis/design thoughts as part of it! under the cut

Alrightyyy, Jeb is a pretty interesting character, and it took quite a bit of fiddling to get him right and encapsulate the very distinct personality, demeanour and role that he has. I primarily took inspiration from his live-action MPN design, but I changed quite a few elements to suit this vision/image in my head.

Jeb clearly has a very particular, highly egotistical, and composed image of himself. He pronounces himself a saviour (to the point that it's literally his title in MPN, lol), but I don't think this is in a really "clean" or "pretty" way. I purge the wicked. His means of saving is brutal murder, which he occasionally relishes. (But he scorns the brutality and crudeness of others, most notably Hank. Funnily.) Yet, despite that, he talks so eloquently and clearly has a lot of pride in his work and is exceedingly protective of this idea of saving Nevada, making it a better place. Though that's long since fallen to the wayside.

I greatly enjoy the live-action design, but it has a very obvious "combat" focus by placing the body armour over top of his tattered and repurposed scientist coat, which I think is a cool take on him, but I prefer communicating this sort of... eloquence? That contrasts very prominently with how haggard, unkempt and messy he is now. Which I think is a very apt summation of his character; he presents himself well and means well, but he has left a long string of destruction in his wake that he cannot escape from. That will haunt him down to the very bone.

It's why I retained elements such as his tie and coat (more obviously resembling its past appearance), like they're symbols of his past in Project Nexus. The red tie has nice contrast and draws emphasis to his chest, where the dark body armour under his coat lies. Simultaneously, the body armour loosely resembles a waistcoat (or some kind of nice-looking undershirt), giving the illusion of a more composed, tidy appearance. But the belts attached to the sword holster on his back recontextualise his appearance, reminding the viewer that Jeb is a fighter, no longer a civilian scientist.

The coat has multifaceted symbolism. It's a piece of his past for one, but it's worn and tattered and no longer looks like a scientist's coat. What was once more 'civilian' attire now accentuates his appearance as a capable and experienced fighter. It's also the only prominent white piece of clothing on him, and it's worn on top of everything else. It's like wearing shed skin. He is no longer that same man; he should abandon it, yet he clings to it. That old innocence.

Deep down, he's broken and tormented by the things he has done, and it reflects in the arrangement of his colours. The innermost parts of himself are dark layers, punctuated by red, while a facsimile of purity is draped over top.

But you could interpret it that there is still some scrap of good buried in there, deep down, even despite how the halo has twisted and warped him into something borderline unrecognisable. It is a desperate attempt to hold onto the good he still has, the good that he still wants to do.

Further to this idea, the undersides of his shoes being dark, dried red was done intentionally. It's meant to represent the idea of the people he has stepped over and the lives he has ruined in his attempts to fix and save Nexus City and Nevada at large. And he has been doing this for a long, long time. Enough to stain the entire sole of his boots.

Some interesting thoughts/lore bits that came about when making the design were:

A reason why his scientist coat doesn't have long sleeves like you would expect is due to the injuries on his hands. When channeling the halo, the scars on his forearms conduct the dissonance energy from the halo in various arcs of power. Subsequently, the fabric has been charred and burned away, leaving his forearms exposed. One of several downsides granted by the halo and another rather literal example of how it has damaged and ruined various aspects of Jeb's life.

The bandages covering the wounds on his hands are so loose and half-assed because Jeb has to change them daily, which he has found exceedingly annoying and frustrating. While he's not perpetually bleeding from them perse, leaving them exposed poses a risk of infection. But by now, Jeb kind of doesn't care. Caring for himself is kind of the last thing on his mind.

Speaking of his wounds, they're very blatantly paralleling crucifixion wounds, but they have a 'reason' for existing. When Jeb first took the halo, when it bound itself to him for the first time and responded to his desire, it pierced his two hands and chest. It left permanent, painful injuries through which he can channel the halo. These injuries turn purplish when he uses his power to reflect the dissonance steeping into his blood and body.

Having scars extending down his forearms and up his fingers in cross-like designs has some religious imagery, but I think it also nicely conveys some gnarly consequences for having the halo. It's not pretty, and it's definitely not good for him, but being separated from it now would practically kill him. It's a pretty tough lose-lose situation, and it's disfigured both his mind and his body. Further to this idea, it's why he bleeds, and his body barely holds itself together when exerting the full strength of the halo. It's breaking him; his body and mind weren't meant for this power, but he can never let it go. Whether that's because of his ego... or because he believes he's beyond saving.

I do enjoy some interpretations where Jeb is taller than Hank, but personally, with my vision of Hank, that really doesn't work for me. I just like this size difference a lot more. It subtly conveys the difference in 'power' between them as well. Sure, Jeb has killed Hank many times but in the end, it is a force that is of infinite potential, and Jeb is one person. Merely a man. Yet Hank is in endless motion of the Machine's cogs, and Zero is a piece of tapestry woven into subconscious dreams.

To that point, I pretty easily settled on a wiry but still fairly muscled build for Jeb because that just made the most sense to me. He just strikes me as the slender type, and it works in nice contrast to Hofnarr/Tricky, who I see as shorter and rounder. He does NOT take care of himself, and he's probably running on nothing but fumes and the power of the halo on many days, but he's not entirely emaciated. He needs to be strong enough to protect himself and to hunt down well, mostly Hank. And if you're not prepared to face Hank, then you're blindly walking into death's maw.

There's a nice distribution of mostly angular (especially pointed, more narrow shapes) and straight shapes in Jeb's design, especially in his head and fingertips, which are distinctly blocky. His narrower, slanted rectangular head helps convey his age and how it's worn down on him. (It directly contrasts Hofnarr, as well.) These go in direct, nice contrast to the spiky fluff of his hair, which I am quite pleased with. It looks haggard, and it's very good at accentuating his emotions when drawing his expressions. And at his worst, when it looks mangy, it looks very mangy.

Why I draw his halo like a square has no real particular reason, it just kinda happened the first time I properly drew him. But I grew quite attached to it, and it means there's fewer, almost no round elements in his design. However, the choice to make his halo 'emote' was an intentional decision.

I personally believe the halo is directly intertwined with his psyche, and for as much as it corrupts and deludes him, it is also 'affected' by Jeb's mind. While this doesn't really mean anything, the halo isn't really "sentient", it is nonetheless an extension of his "being" whenever it is connected to him. While Jeb is not a forthcoming man, only really letting anger and frustration escape easily, his halo is always transparent. Much to his disdain. It grows pointed and sharp when angry, it drips with sweat when nervous, and it shakes and warps when taken by surprise. I think it's a cute detail, while not being an especially deep one.

Jeb doesn't have as many scars as Hank or Zero because while he has fought a lot, it's nowhere near the sheer amount that those two have. Additionally, it's primarily stitching scars from how many times Jeb has been torn apart and blown up, which is his primary cause of death. The big two-part stitch in the middle is from MC3, I went frame by frame to see how he died there LOL. I probably could've done it for his other deaths, but I'm content with the placement of his stitches. Not too many, but enough to go "wow, he's been stitched back up a lot huh"

His colour palette is also in the 'warm red tone' category once again because I've latched onto it for a few of these characters. I find it a little more visually appealing than giving them primarily monochrome tones (though this is intentionally not the case for Zero, although my thoughts on that are split). I'm not sure if I'll carry this same idea into Sanford and Deimos when I get around to them, but red is a very prominent and reoccurring colour in Nevada, so I think it makes sense. It's not too warm, and it still leans into making Jeb look quite... tired. Plus, I've always found the gradient on his head to be appealing.

He's a man who will forever live with his mistakes, wearing them like skin and bearing them as scars etched into his flesh. In contrast to his worn appearance, the halo on his head shines brightly like a cursed crown perched just above him. A mockery. A man steeped and damned to sin that he cannot escape. And whether he will right his wrongs, who's to say? But I like to think that he wants to try. If how he treats Deimos and Sanford is anything to go by, even if that kindness quickly slips into his delusions...

[thoughtfulfelony]

ok I'm just gonna elaborate on my opinion that the remake of "Cloudy…with a chance of murder" is The Most Evil And Fucked Up Thing Psych Creators Could Ever Do Because Of The Bike Scene Removal y'all remember the "I've been thinking about getting a car" speech right. But let's take a step back and talk about the bike.

The bike symbolizes Shawn's freedom, independence, and in the "Cloudy…" it is implicitly taken by his own father ( which I'm letting go. for now), and in the end a bunch of people prepared to get it back for Shawn, but who gets there first? Lassiter. And it would be SO easy to play it off by having Lassie say something like "I got you your bike back so you could drive the fuck away from my police station", or "you helped me out before so I feel obligated to repay you, now we're even", but no. Lassie's reaction is genuine embarrassment when people found out he got the bike, because it was purely a nice gesture. A nice gesture for Shawn, whom he "hates". So what I'm saying is. metaphorically. Lassiter gives Shawn back all the independence and freedom, because despite all Shawn's antics, he sees him and accepts him for who he is, with all his bullshit, doesn't fall for his lies and literally embraces the deception and rolls with it for eight more seasons, with occasional Gotta Call Him On His Bullshit To Keep Him In Shape. This scene encapsulates the progress of the dynamic between Lassie and Shawn and it's the foundation for their future relationship, where they know they can trust and rely on each other, despite everything. So again, removing it in the remake was a literal crime against humanity and me specifically because it basically erases part of Lassie's character

[doujindungeon]

while anticipating le sserafim's new single and working on my upcoming follow-up to my gr63 two-shot, this post about sakura came up on my feed this past week and i haven't stopped thinking about it since 🙆‍♀️

premise: you're pop's main it-girl and at a recent meet & greet during your world tour, one of your biggest fans gifts you a crazy expensive ring while posing a single request to you:

"please do not marry anyone who dares to propose to you with a ring cheaper than this!"

while this amuses you to no end, your f1 driver boyfriend doesn't take this lightly.

features: lewis, carlos, george, fernando, charles

Lewis

"What's that you got there, love?"

There was a distraction that Lewis just couldn't ignore anymore. Though he was all tender smiles and lovestruck eyes while gazing fondly at you through his phone screen as he waited for his first class flight to take off, the shining glimmer off of your finger set off his curiosity.

Your giggled explanation, however, only sparked and stirred the flames of fierce determination within his soul.

"Quite the request, huh? Fans these days." He chuckled in response with the shake of his head.

It wasn't long until it was time for his flight to depart and for the both of you to say your goodbyes.

"I'll be seeing you in a bit, lovely. Can't wait to have you in my arms again," he remarked with a wink.

As soon as your call ended, he then proceeded to switch over to his text messages, finding his recent conversation with his Cartier rep from a few days ago before quickly tapping out:

add another diamond on it please thank you

Carlos

"...huh?"

Kicking off the covers and rubbing the grogginess out of his sleepy gaze, Carlos squinted hard at his phone screen as he stared at pictures from one of your most well-known fan account pages.

What started off as a calm browse through his social media feed turned into a spike of raw adrenaline as he saw a myriad of photos showing your overjoyed expression while you flashed your brand new ring at the camera.

While undisclosed to even you, he liked following some of your fan accounts since they usually featured some gorgeous candid photos of you--visuals he constantly sought to see, especially while he was abroad for races.

Now, however, seeing that the admin of this very account was the one to gift you this ring with the insistence that you do not settle for anyone unworthy, he let out a huff while his eyes shifted over to his bedside table, where his Richard Mille watch lay.

His gaze returned to the photo on his phone screen, making note of your bare fingers.

He was certain he could guess the size of each one, much like he was just as determined to get you enough rings to exceed the cost of his watch.

George

"Oh bugger..."

Hopping onto Twitter and seeing an ungodly amount of mentions made to his account incited a sense of foreboding dread within George.

However, realizing that the profiles of these tags all mostly featured pictures of you, his apprehension turned to cautious curiosity. With all the countless posts, it was impossible to sort through them all, yet there was one tweet that encapsulated what the sudden fervor from your fanbase was all about:

cant believe the george russell subplot this season is having to go band for band with his gf's fanbase 😭😭😭😭

Instinct had him wanting to ask the likes of Alex and Lando exactly what "band for band" meant, but with a mere scroll down his mentions, pictures of your preciously awed expression while holding up an incredibly ornate ring from a fan explained everything he needed to know.

Pressing a hand over his racing heart, he sighed with utter relief.

Nothing too crazy both for his sake and yours, just an extreme expression of fan adoration to you.

Cute.

But what won't be cute would be the absolute behemoth of a diamond that he would make damn sure will be sitting prettily on top of your engagement ring.

Fernando

"She was given what?"

By this point, Fernando had been posed all sorts of outrageous, off-topic questions during press interviews leading up to the race, but this one--above all--felt the most annoying to hear.

While he knew the reporter was just merely doing his job as he elaborated on details from your recent concert, there was something bothersome about some random stranger essentially challenging him in his own relationship with you.

Still, with years and years of PR experience, he pursed his lips slightly in thought with a nod. "...Ahh I see."

With a small lift of his shoulders, a chuckle soon escaped him as he concluded with, "Well, what's not to love about her, no?"

Though the reporter tried to have him delve deeper on his response, Fernando was already shifting focus back to the recent race, a calm smile on his features even while his competitive spirit was already set ablaze to an uncontainable inferno.

This was a matter where frugality had to be damned. Like hell he was going to be outdone by one of your fans.

You were gonna come home from tour to a brand new ring quadruple the price!

Charles

Charles had no words just say, just a sorrowful melody to play.

Within the dimly lit shadows of his exquisite piano room, his fingers took the anguish in his heart to the ivories of his instrument.

A glimpse at social media, the bashful smile on your face, the sparkling ring on your finger--it was just too much. Without delving further, he took off to the depths of his magnificent mansion where he had since holed himself up within the comforts of his piano room to console his heartbreak, wondering how he was to go on with his relationship with you now in disarray.

But when his wrist started to cramp from continuous play, he was on his phone once more, reluctantly going through social media to see just who in the hell proposed to you--

He blinked at his screen.

A fan merely gifted the ring to you, asking that only someone worthy and wealthy take your hand in marriage in the future.

His hand suddenly came to rest against his forehead as he started to laugh at himself.

Cackle even.

"I'm so stupid," he sighed out loud with a grin, relief washing over his features as he stood up and proceeded to finally exit his piano room.

While texting his affection to you over yet another brilliant concert successfully held some countries away, he was already making plans as to which jewelry stores in Monte Carlo he would pay visit to today.

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

MASTER LIST OF INSTRUMENTAL PLAYLISTS FOR WRITING (OR FOR STUDYING, MAKING ART, ETC.)

I find that the perfect writing playlist can GREATLY enhance the writing experience. Even if it doesn't make your writing "better" (which it can, since it helps writers with visualization, tone, and mood), it can definitely make your writing flow easier!

Personally, words distract me when I'm writing, either by breaking my train of thought or by getting me too into the music so that I'm jamming out to my favorite tunes instead of writing.

Therefore, I've amassed a vast knowledge of instrumental music across a variety of media over a course of many years. Now here I am, deciding to share all of them with you!

Maddy’s Favorite Instrumental Songs

Just like the title says. All of the best pieces of instrumental music I've ever heard, compiled together with no regard for genre. It can be a bit of a whiplash playlist, but some amazing recs in there that I just like listening to in my free time, not just for writing.

Maddy’s Ultimate Instrumental Playlist

A mega compilation of 550+ fantastic instrumental music from a variety of media and genres. Kind of a whiplash playlist if you put it on shuffle, but is a great start for anyone looking to find what kind of instrumental music they like! Playlist Groupings in Order: Independent instrumental songs, live action movies, animated movies, animated tv shows, live action tv shows, video games.

Maddy's Instrumental for Sleep

Some more chill vibe instrumental for people who either A) want to sleep or B) want a relaxed playlist that won't distract you with loud volume and sudden changes in tempo or melody.

MISC PLAYLISTS:

you're a haggard adventurer discovering worlds beyond your wildest dreams

Music to inspire wonder and wanderlust, the kind of feeling you get when you finally reach the end of a mountain hike and see the world stretching out before you.

you're a hero who's just lost everything

Basically the most sad instrumental music I could find. A playlist for grief and revenge.

more beneath the cut :)

you're a cowboy in the great American West

Cowboy instrumental for all of your ambient and writing needs. Or if you just really want to feel like a cowboy.

you're a divine witness

Epic choir music (no English). Most religious, some not, but all kind of have that eerie sacred vibe. I listen to this while writing my book about angels and demons.

you’re a scholar uncovering the secrets of the universe

Great chill study playlist! Has the kind of same exploratory/discovery type feel as the haggard adventurer playlist, but more dark academia.

you’re a villain plotting to take over the world

Villain-coded instrumental! Sinister, dark, and/or unsettling.

you're an academic weapon

HIGH BPM STUDY PLAYLIST! Keeps me focused, hyped, and helps me work faster!

you're an ancient god

Playlist that gives an ancient/eerie vibe. But some ancient gods are merciful- so there are some upbeat songs for wonder and awe!

you're falling in love

Music that encapsulates what I think falling in love feels like. Very beautiful, tender, and uplifting instrumental.

you're fighting the final battle

Intense and epic battle music for all of your fight-scene-writing needs! Good for getting shit done, but isn't necessarily restricted to high BPM like the academic weapon playlist.

you're having a tea party

Refined instrumental for a tea party, including classical, big band, and some miscellaneous goodies.

you're in a chase scene

Music for writing chase scenes. Pretty good hype music, too. Includes soundtracks from classic chase scenes in popular media!

you're in the medieval times

Medieval-sounding music for all of your ambient and/or writing needs.

you’re in your childhood room. the door is open a crack. people talk softly downstairs.

A playlist dedicated to nostalgia, to the feeling of lying in bed with your nightlight on after being too tired to stay awake at your family get-together. Could either make your day or break your heart lmao

you're the happiest you've ever been

Lighthearted instrumental meant to lift your spirits! A playlist dedicated to the joys of the little things.