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#this doesnt look the way i want it to which means it looks even worse to everyone else but thats fine. they cant all be winners
canonkiller · 2 months
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sulking again
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one day, you'll look back on this and laugh
(im okay. just getting it out of my system. you know how it is)
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arolesbianism · 1 month
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Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)
#rat rambles#starve posting#maxwell posters have lost any semblance of tolerance from me ages ago Ive yet to meet a maxwell fan who's just like a normal person#and to clarify I actually do like maxwel as I am the number one just some asshole whos in too deep enjoyer#but dear god are ppl just absolutely incapable of being normal abt this man and everyone around him#and even beyond that ppl just do not get this man like please he is indeed interesting but not because of some 'retconed redemption'#like pls we can live in a world where he is not an irridemable monster and is in fact just some guy while also still being a flawed person#like the fact that he is so deeply flawed in ways that he never actually properly adressed and challenged is the interesting thing to me#like look at me. he went through horrible shit he didnt deserve. that didnt inherently make him a better or worse person#it just made him a more miserable person#and he didnt escape because of some change of heart or character development#and afterwards he teamed up with wilson because of necessity#I do think on some level he genuinely cares abt the other survivors and he does have genuine regret for how things turned out#but again those things dont inherently mean he moved past the flaws that got him here it just means he has the ability to recognize that#shit sucks and that he wish none of it happened#its why encore is one of my favorite animations from a character perspective because it shows some juicy charlie and maxwell stuff#mainly it shows both that charlie has not forgiven his ass and is manipulating him and that maxwell is still susceptible to it#which isnt a sigh of them rolling back development it's just a sign that maxwell is easy to manipulate with the right cards#which adds up considering his past and his present very well in my opinion#this is a man whos historically always ran away from his problems and is always on the hunt for a sense of control#and charlie tapped into both that and his ever present guilt#its in fact very unsurprising and not out of place for him to fall for that sort of manipulation#and it also makes for a great set up for the inevitable betrayal from charlie as maxwell is hit by the harsh reality of his situation#and that whole situation would lead to some yummy tasty parallels when charlie inevitably gets betrayed herself (I hope)#the ways charlie and maxwel are so similar yet so different facinates me deeply I love how much charlie doesnt realize shes kinda fucked#I want her to be betrayed so hard and left in the dust with no ground to stand on I want the rug pulled out from under her feet#her composition comes from her confidence in the necessity of her actions and the moral superiority she feels over maxwell#so having her sense of superiority be revoked would make for a super fascinating dynamic as she tries to justify the situation in her head#I wanna see her siral and then maybe change her pronouns idk
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themyscirah · 2 months
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Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute
#I JUST- SHDIAUDJSHDSHEYEYRYRYRY guys. guys#i know none of you see my vision and thats okay. i will make you see my vision. i will force you to see my vision. i will-#like jesus fucking christ oh my god. its so interesting and gives me so many emotions and just!!!#i know im not making sense bc none of my moots are sui sq fans and also like half of the content fucking me up specifically here is in my#head because i cant stop thinking about my absolute power fix it au but like!!!!!!!#also the fact i have a fix it for a comic that isnt out yet is so funny to me. its literally fucking real though. god knows we need it#may my own content carry me through the dark times (extreme villain waller arc)#anyways this fucks me up so bad you dont even know. someday ill actually explain it#dc hire me to write a suicide squad ongoing PLEASE. i could do it so good it would be so fucking good dc PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also like this isnt me shipping them btw. like 110% not that. just to clarify.#i wouldnt even call it a friendship bc like. theyre not friends really. he has the most equal dynamic with her i would say but it still isnt#equal. shes v much his boss even though they have an understanding and respect there#like she believes and trusts in him much more than anybody really even himself. like she sees the good man and the leader even when he#doesnt. but she isnt nice about it. and there is a lot of conflict between them when there needs to be#like as much as ben is “wallers man”--the team leader she wanted from the beginning before rick flagg pushed his way in#ben i would say is still a very moral person even when lost and unsure of himself and his goodness (which is like one of his main things)#like i feel like while amanda can lean very into a “the ends justify the means” mindset in her worse moments and do bad things to get#herself out of a corner ben has like a deep and meaningful understanding of how the choices of your methods and how you act can weigh on you#like even though he was brainwashed and whatnot (thats still the story right? i cant remember) he holds a lot of guilt and baggage over his#actions and i think is able to temper amanda's worse tendencies in terms of that by calling her out when he recognizes that behavior#idk. i just really think that amanda waller and the suicide squad as a whole has lost its way without a more moral authority presence there.#like someone who can call her out and keep them more on track. which i really thing ben is and could be#i just very much am interested in their dynamic and how that would look like as equals and how i think they could help each other.#which ofc is what my wip is about and revolves around#blah#sui sq
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homophyte · 7 months
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can i be so honest. every critique ive read of nope so far has been very lacking
#myposts#genuinely it seems like the only way people feel comfortable with interacting w this film is through the lens of 'spectacle bad'#without ever really defining what 'spectacle' means for the record!#it often takes of these contradictory meanings even in the same sentences which makes the whole thing feel worse bc like#i dont think YOU know what YOURE talking about#and the same w how the movie talks about race#earnestly if the only thing u think it has to say about race is like. people of color are either excluded from or tokenized in hollywood#then ur going to have to square that w ur critique that spectacle is bad end of sentence#is it the characters saving grace that they are exempted from an exploitative industry or should that industry be exploiting them??#bc if ur saying hollywood is bad bc excluding ppl of color + spectacle exploitation u seem to be implying that we should want#people of color to be spectacized and tokenized. and i dont think most people making those statements would agree w that#i genuinely think its the fault of this overreliance on the word spectacle as the thing that holds it together#which sucks actually bc i havent even seen people super digging into the word itself and how fascinating its usage as the bad miracle is#idk. i think theres more to the movie--way more--than just the sin of looking#witnessing and understanding through the look is so significant and so good in it. it is OJ looking at emerald him Seeing her#that gives jean jacket its name. its recognization#we learn to be less afraid of the monster when we understand it--when we see it--and know it doesnt want to be looked at#do you see what i mean?#and thats aside from how it complicates the black horror narrative itself--how it highlights desperation induced by poverty#induced by racism and racially justified disregard as legitimate problems that cant be solved by galacybraining 'nopeing' out#they try to leave--and try to Not Look to abandon the spectacle as spectacle based critique says is the main concept of the movie#and thats not possible. it doesnt work. they go back and going back necessitates looking and engaging w spectacle#like literally the answer is not as simple as 'to spectacalize is Wrong' bc the victorious endstate of the movie#is for these characters to reclaim the history of spectacle theyre denied by disenfranchisement. she takes the frame by frame pictures#their names are attached to it forever and cant be forgotten as the jockey is. how can you square that?? honestly#idk. just watching this yt video where some white woman is talking about how nope is about and only about the entertainment industry#its just not the whole picture
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yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶
i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)
have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖
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i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...
i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned
mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭
i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔
i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends
i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about
people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled
in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol
the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭
its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭
mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)
i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.
its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!
she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!
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she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"
she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)
she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.
he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.
THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.
she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7
but again, those are the consequences of HER actions
her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭
their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"
its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!
you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)
everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.
obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.
the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"
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she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!
just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.
im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!
im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.
i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!
i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process
talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol
i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭
its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.
all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.
i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.
also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!
thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!
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writingoddess1125 · 7 months
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You Get Buggy a Corgi
Cute Headcanon
Pure Fluff
◇ Bonus has some mild sadness
Support me on Ko-Fi ☕️
• Buggy has always wanted a Corgi- He's never talked about it but you did see he has a Corgi shaped pillow in his room that he's apparently had since he was a child-
• So you decide to get him one as a gift for his birthday.
• He always had big birthday bashes and it was the biggest party imaginable- The whole crew with more alcohol and food then a gods banquet while Buggy sat in the center jovial and proud.
• You walk over with a box in hand and carefully set it down infront of him, He raises a brow at the lack of flashy decoration on the brown box and pops open the lid with a unamused expression
• There a little head pops up and everyone stares at the happy Corgi face looking st Buggy and the blue bow around its neck
• His whole face flushes as you can quite literally see the childlike joy shine in his eyes- A bright smile on his face as he sets the puppy in his lap.
• "Her name is Guppy" You say as he mumbles the name and glances up at you. "She's mine?"
• "Yep! She's fully trained and apparently does really well on ships from what the shelter said" You say softly, but you're sure he isn't even paying attention to you as the dog seems to instantly love Buggy and scales him with her little body to press her face against his. You can quite literally see his heart melt.
• Clearly Guppy is his favorite gift ever since he doesn't pay attention to anything else accept for Guppy the rest of the night.
• You also get a special reward for bringing a wonderful gift.
• Guppy is absolutely a velcro dog- Loving to be at Buggys side 24/7 and follow him around. He gets her a red bandana so she's easy to spot at all times. If there is anything dangerous he will leave her behind but be sad about it-
• Later finds out she yaps like crazy when he's not there and cries loudly.
• She sleeps on him constantly, sometimes waking him up since she will curl directly over his face suffocating him.
• 'Mrph!- 'Upeee!!" {Guppy!} And ge carefully scoots her on the pillow next to his head so he can breath and go back to sleep-
• Guppy acts as a sort of Therapy dog for Buggy as well- When his temper or anxiety get him worked up to were he would usually destroy his room she will instead lay on his chest and force him to stay still as he Pets her and works himself down from a rage.
• She is also the perfect pillow for him to cry on. So he has pressed his face gently into her fur and just cried- Often she licks the tears away.
• Doesnt wear as heavy of makeup since he knows she likes to lick his face and doesn't want the grease paint to make her sick-
• Will also carry her- Say if the waters are too choppy but she doesn't want to be left he will just carry her like a baby to make sure she doesn't slide around or get hurt.
• If anyone- and I mean ANYONE Dares to mess with his dog he will absolutely go ape-shit... Think insulting his nose is instant death- Hurt his dog and he will come up with the worse ways to kill a person slowly-
• He probably loves Guppy more then any living person and makes sure she has a wonderful healthy life.
Bonus!-
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• "Hey Buggy can I ask?- Why do you like Corgi's so much?" You ask laying next to him on the floor of his cabin. He pauses for a moment as he thinks.
• "Lots of reasons- They are soft, sweet, overall really loving and they are a little odd which I like.. But-" He pauses for a second.
• "...It's kinda weird but.. my first memory in life was of a Corgi and my mother-" He admitted and you looked surprised by this, asking for him to explain which he rolled his eyes but agreed.
• "It was the day she dropped me off at the orphanage.. She handed me that corgi pillow you see on my bed and some berry she shoved in my pockets. Telling me that she had to leave me here to make sure I was safe from bad guys-" He said calmly, but you could hear the hurt in his tone.
• "But if I was every in a situation were it was truly life or death all I had to say with three words and I'd be okay. Then she kisses my forehead and left. It's my first and last memories of her- A few years later Roger's picking me up to be his apprentice" He admitted as Guppy lived his face clearly sensing some sadness.
• "Im... I'm so sorry-.. What were the three words?" You asked now circus, but you saw the way his eyes drifted to you briefly
• "Eh- That's a story for a different time" He said with a smile and waved it off. Watching how he pet Guppy some more.
• However you laid there stewing.. 3 words?
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sturnsbabie · 4 days
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𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔
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𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐔𝐑 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: lil skies x sls!reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: in which sls gets questioned about who she was with.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: swearing,mentions of sex,angst.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭:700
not the best chap but im slowly tryinf to get to the good parts and not rush this story😖
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i had just got back in the car with nate and mikayla and they both started instantly asking me questions.
“girl where the fuck you been?”mikayla asked me.
“what do you mean? i told you i was going to the bathroom.” i said.
“girl it doesnt take a hour to use the bathroom.we been out here waiting” she said as she pulled out of the venue.
“well sorry i got distracted.”i said.
i couldnt tell them that i was with skies because it was a secret between me and him. it stayed between us and nobody would know.
“why you have hickeys all over ya neck?” nate asked as his jaw started clenching.
“because i made out with a random guy and it was a heat of the moment type thing.” i said as i was playing with the sleeve of skies hoodie.
“and the fuck ya do that for!”nate asked.
“because im my own person and i can do whatever the fuck i want to.” i said rolling my eyes.
“uh incase ya didnt forget me and you yeah we have only been exclusively fuckin eachother.”he said.
“nate its her birthday for fucks sake give the girl a break” mikayla said as she was driving.
“yeah exactly that and also incase you forgot im not your fucking girl so dont treat me like i am.”i said as i was scrolling thru the pictures skies and i took on my phone.
“also us fuckin yeah thats over with.”i added.
“oh so ya meet a random guy fuck he puts you in his clothes and now you decide your done with me?”nate asked with a hint of hurt in his voice.
“yeah sorry.”i said as i turned the radio on playing skies to drown out nates arguments.
i felt bad for being mean to him about it but like at the sametime he already knew we wouldnt work out even if we tried and yet he still caught feelings when i didnt.
the rest of the ride back to my house was silent except for skies voice playing thru the radio.
the whole way home all i could think about was him and the way he had me earlier. i was hooked and i needed more.
.•°♡°•.
after 15 minutes mikayla dropped me off at my house and i went inside to be met with my brothers all sitting on the couch.
“woah what the fuck is on your neck and whos clothes are those”chris questioned me.
“random guy at the skies concert”i shrugged.
“you literally just turned eighteen today and youre already out sleeping with random guys?” chris said.
“you act like you werent doing worse when you were seventeen chris.”i said as i sat beside nick.
“chris dont fucking start on her its her birthday and as long as shes being careful then it shouldn’t fucking matter!” nick said.
matt was quiet and chris was over there fuming. i didnt know why everyone was sooo mad that i got fucked on my birthday. if only they knew it was skies.
“well i wasnt flaunting hickeys and shit all over my neck when i was your age” chris said.
i rolled my eyes. “i didnt have time to cover them chris i was literally in the car and have i once made it obvious theres hickeys on my neck?no!” i said looking at my lockscreen. it was a picture skies and i took on the tourbus.
“chris just stop running your mouth your clearly just mad she got to go see skies” matt said.
chris rolled his eyes. “matt im not jealous im just concerned about out sisters safety.”he said.
i rolled my eyes and got up walking to my room.
once i got in my room i felt my phone go off and i looked at the notification.
INSTAGRAM!
[YN.STURNIOLO]: lilskies started following you.
[YN.STURNIOLO]: lilskies: that was the best pussy i ever had.
[YN.STURNIOLO]: lilskies:cant stop thinkin about how your ass was bouncing on my dick.
[YN.STURNIOLO]:lilskies: let me pick you up tomorrow and come to this party with me in boston baby.
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TAGLIST: @sturniololoves , @delaneysturniolo , @a-m-b-e-r-r , @milesfordays11 , @sturniol0s , @riowritesitall , @kriissy4gov , @m0r94n , @laylataylor0910 , @delusional-4-fake-people
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Otto manages in some way to ''delude'' himself into thinking that Alicent would have wanted to marry her best friends's father ,become his queen and have his (male) heirs ,all of it while shes an anxious teenage girl who suffers from dermatillomania .Which is weird because Alicent clearly looks uncomfortable as he asks her to see Viserys .Actually ,the second time we see her asking her if she will see him she looks angry
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In this scene Otto also asks her why she's biting her nails in such an obsessive way ,and he outright says that he doesnt understand why she is doing it ,after all why would she do it if she is the most comely lady of the realm?.
Otto doesnt realize that Alicent is anxious not only because she is like that by nature ,but because he's putting her in a difficult position ,not caring about her desires at all .And he thinks ,in a pretty sexist way ,that her being the most comely lady of the realm is a enough reason to make her stop .And what is worse is that when he said that he didnt do it out of malice ,he genuinely thought it that way with no intention of harm.He was probably encouraging her to stop of her own good.
That doesnt mean he is above weaponinzing things against Alicent ,such as her sexuality and her mother's memory .And ,horrific enough ,these two things go hand in hand i the first scene we see them alone
Her sexuality is a weapon for him because Otto can strictly control it and he is the one who will decide who she can share said sexuality with .Her mother's memory is a weapon because Alicent's mother was very dear to her .He straight up tells her to wear one of her mother's dressed ,one that is very bold for that matter.
Otto's also uses her mother's memory again in ep 9 (''you look so much like your mother in certain lights''),as he is desperately trying to get back into her good graces once its clear she is the one in charge between the two.She doesnt give in this time.
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A thing about Otto and Alicent's dynamic is that ,not only he genuinely believes that he is doing something good for her ,there is a specific reason on why he completely misunderstands Alicent.
And i think the line ''Our heart are one'' explains it perfectly.
Otto cant see Alicent outside her daughterhood ,he cant understand that she has a mind of her own .Thats why he gets so baffled when she speaks her mind and her plans do not align with his (ep 3 ,ep 4 ,ep 5 ,ep9).And (dont you dare think im blaming her im explaining his pov)Alicent always strives to be dutiful and sacrificial at all costs ,so obviously she obeys her dad (the man who has a lot of power over her in a fantasy medieval setting).And she also loves him and doesnt wanna disappoint him !.And so Otto gets used to the fact that ,even as a 35 adult woman with lots of experiences ,she will always obey him and their plans and ideas will always align .
Alicent is essentially a character who lost her sense of personhood because as a teenager she is put in situations where she is forced to serve and to always take care of others ,who take advantage of her dutiful persona ,and she never actually gets used to the idea that her feelings and desires matter .
And Otto is the first one who takes advantage of that ,he is the one who used her ''a piece to move across the board''.And that shapes her .
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Now that doesnt mean he doesnt care for her ,he does love her in his own way.
But people have already explained why he actually loves her .What im trying to say is that Otto's failing to see(not even understand but see) Alicent shapes her and her dynamic ,and ,in the consequence ,the story.
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togamest · 1 month
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HELLO ARIIII🤭 could i maybe have first times with kakucho? it doesnt have to be virginity loss, it can be just your first time together but i leave the choice to you🫶 maybe have him a bit on the more vulnerable side/insecure side at first?
-> you’re new to this, aren’t you? | 2,001 words. afab!reader, vulnerable!kakucho, slight angst/hurt + comfort vibes, cunnilingus (reader!receiving), fingering (reader!receiving), reader teaches kakucho how to eat (their) pussy basically, reader calls kakucho "baby, kakucho calls reader "pretty baby", haitani slander bc i can never leave ran and rindou alone ever lmfao
a/n: snow u know i love a good vulnerable big man concept <3 i hope i did this well for u!! i know i like to write kakucho as being experienced but having you be his first real relationship and wanting to teach him is so sexy of him :( god i wanna suck the skin off him jfc
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“You’re new to this, aren’t you?”
You feel Kakucho’s breath still in his chest, his hands freezing on your skin. His eyes are wide, pupils blown, but his white teeth flash as he gnaws at his bottom lip. He doesn’t have to say it, but you can sense what he means. I am new to this. Nobody’s ever wanted me like this before.
It stings in your chest, the realization, and you reach up to cup his cheeks, brushing your thumb across the scar winding along the side of his face. He flinches, but you don’t stop.
“Hey. Talk to me.”
His breath is ragged when he finally sucks oxygen in, and he looks at you pointedly, hands firm on your chest, grasping your breasts tightly as if they’ll keep him from floating away. As if they’ll keep him grounded with whatever he’s about to say.
“S-Sorry, I—”
“Don’t apologize, Kaku. It’s okay, baby.”
Another ragged breath. “Thank you. I-I am new to this, just…I’ve done things before but not with someone who- someone who loves me like you love me and I’m…I’m scared of fucking up.”
His voice grows smaller and quieter as he continues on with his confession, and he moves away from you, attempting to cover his face with his hands, leaving you cold from the sudden loss of body heat. You follow him, though, connected to him like a magnet as you grasp his hands, moving them away from his face. There’s a rage within you, aggressively boiling up as his words sink in.
You and Kakucho were relatively new to the whole sex thing. YOu’d had plenty of partners before, and Kakucho had not; there wasn’t exactly a lot of time to get down and dirty when you’re in a gang; although the Haitanis seemed to disprove that statement, but then again, it’s also the Haitanis.
You’d suggested it today, when you were feeling a little frisky, and he’d approached you gently, removing your shirt and bra expertly, but in actually doing anything beyond kissing, he seemed to fumble and be very insecure about his movements. It almost felt like someone had scolded him into telling him he didn’t do anything right; which wasn’t true, he did know what he was doing on a basic level, but he just needed some fine-tuning.
It makes you angry to know there was someone, or multiple someones, who used the man sitting before you; not teaching him how to pleasure someone properly, or not caring about him enough to bother. Or, even worse, not being intimate with him in a way where he had a chance to gain experience in the first place. The man who’d do anything for you, who makes you dinner on a rough day, who covers the chores when all you want to do is rot in bed all day, who is always there to dry your tears and hold you.
You’d do the same for him, of course. That’s what you’re doing now as you drag him into your embrace, pressing his face into your chest. He takes a deep breath again, and you feel something wet against your skin. You can tell he’s crying; you coo at him, running your nails along his buzz cut, pressing kisses against his temple and scalp and anywhere you can reach as you lay back down, refusing to let him go and run off and isolate himself.
“It’s okay, I promise it’s okay,” you repeat over and over, like a mantra in his ear as he silently cries, tears dripping onto your bare chest and sliding down your sternum.
“A-Are you sure?”
You stiffen, digging your nails into his scalp. “Yes. Why would I have said that if I didn’t mean it?”
“Well, other people have—”
You push his head up, cupping his face again so he can look directly at you again. Your eyebrows are furrowed, that anger still bubbling underneath your skin as you stare into him, the glassy red-and-white stare of the man you love so much the only thing stopping you from not leaving right now and finding the addresses of all the people who have slighted him.
He didn’t deserve that, as much as he thinks he does.
“You didn’t deserve that, Kakucho.”
At the mention of his full name, he flinches again, but it’s not out of fear. It’s out of surprise, like he’s shocked you care this much about him, but he nods. He clearly expects you to stop, but your hands are firm against his face as you keep going.
“You didn’t deserve that at all. I love you, okay?” you say, your voice rising slightly in volume, firm and rock solid, giving him something he can cling onto, “I love you so much, and I want this with you, and I want to help you. I want to teach you. I want you, all of you, and I don’t care if you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. I’m happy to show you how to do all this, I promise. It’s never a problem.”
You can see another wave of tears rising in his eyes as you speak to him, your words weaving themselves into his brain, imprinting on it. It’ll take him a lot longer to gain that confidence back, of course, but this is a start. The tears are no longer saddening tears; they’re happy, relieved as he pulls you into a tight hug, holding onto you like you’ll slip away.
“God, I love you so much,” he whispers shakily into your ear, and you can’t help but giggle at him, rubbing his bare back with your fingers. “Of course, Kaku,” you whisper back, “of course.”
Then, you drag your nails across his back instead, and he lets out a full-body shudder and a growl into your ear. “Fuck, do that again,” he says, his voice low, and as you do, he makes another groaning noise and pushes you back onto the bed, wiping away his tears.
“Fuck, okay, fuck, you’re perfect.”
He breathes it like a prayer as he dives back onto your chest, swirling a nipple around in his mouth, but not exactly correct. It’s a little sloppy, not the level you need him at, and you tap him on the head. He looks up at you through his eyelashes, and you have to collect yourself so you don’t just babble nonsense to him.
“Swirl it like you’re licking a lollipop.”
He swirls his tongue just as you say, and your hips jerk into his own, the motion just right.
Perfect, even.
“God, you pick up on things quickly, huh?” you tease as he moves to the other nipple, your sentence cutting off in a moan as he does the same to the other nipple. You can feel his lips moving into a smirk against you as he breathes against the hardened nipple, gently sucking on it.
“What can I say? I learn fast.”
He makes his way down, his thumbs hooking into your pants and underwear as he pulls them off in one go, and his hot breath against your dripping center has you whining for him, your hips twitching at the feeling of his tongue against you. You need it, you need it so badly—
His tongue takes one long, slow lick from your hole to your clit, flicking against the nub, but it’s not quite where you want it to be. You let him do it again, before you grip his head and tap him, causing him to look up at you in question. His cheeks are bright red with blush, like a puppy. If he’d had a tail, you’d imagine it’d be wagging while he waits for you.
You take a deep breath. “Stick your tongue out.”
He complies, and you push his head against you, allowing the wet tip of his tongue to traverse your lips and crevices, until they land on the one spot that makes you see stars. You jerk up into his mouth when his tongue skirts across it, and it’s like you’re beaming the message into his brain, because he doubles down on that specific spot, swirling across it like he did with your nipples.
Holy shit.
“Do it in a figure eight,” you stammer out, using your finger to draw a figure eight in the air. He blinks at you, before nodding and trying it, and fuck, you could’ve cum right there watching him comply so innocently with your commands. Seeing him so pliant beneath you, learning what gets you off, was such a hot circumstance to be in that the room felt like it’d been raised a few degrees. The coil in your stomach is hot, tight and warm, and—
Suddenly, he stops, and he moves away to look up at you.
“Am I good?”
You stare at him incredulously. “What?”
He repeats the question, his hands gripping the fat of your hips so tightly that it might bruise.
It felt good.
You blink at him. “I—yes, but—”
He smirks at you, although the embarrassment is still strong in his eyes as he dives back into you. “Jus’ wanna make you feel good, baby,” he mumbles against you as he takes up his movements again in a faster motion, and you let out a loud moan, nodding. “You’re so good, Kaku, so good for me—”
He murmurs against you. “Can I…can I finger you?”
You laugh at the innocence of the statement, before nodding aggressively as his tongue flicks against you again. “Yes, God, yes,” you breathe, and one of his thick fingers slides in only a beat later. It’s getting more difficult to concentrate on teaching him how to do this, mainly because he is taking to how to pleasure you like a fish to water. It’s insane how fast he’s learning the spots that make you squirm; he’s perceptive, you knew that already, but this is another level. It’s like he’s turned all of his senses up to eleven to detect even the slightest discomfort.
“Up a little bit.”
“There?”
“To the side.”
“How about there?”
“Can you curl your—oh, shit—”
Not only does he add another finger, but he curls his fingers against that spongey spot inside of you and that does it. “Fuck, Kaku, ‘m gonna—”
“You’re gonna cum for me, pretty baby?”
“Fuck!”
At the pet name, the dam bursts, and you cream all over his fingers, shaking and sputtering against him. His mouth is on you in a second, licking and sucking up all of your wetness that dribbles out of you. He doesn’t stop, unknowingly about to fuck you into overstimulation as you cry out, twitching against him as he curls and scissors his fingers inside of you. It’s hitting all the sensitive areas inside of you, and by the time you finally come down and his fingers slide out, his chin is wet with your essence, looking up at you with a reddened face.
“Did I do good?” he whispers, and you pull him up, your gaze softened with the post-climax daze. You pull him close, tucking him underneath your chin, and sighing.
“Yeah, you did good. Great. High marks across the board.”
His chest rumbles with a laugh as he moves to tuck you into his own chest, letting you melt against him, his large hands skating across your back. “Thank you,” he breathes, and you look up at him with a smile, before pressing a kiss to his lips. “Of course, baby,” you respond, and his face gets even more red, bashfulness flooding his eyes.
“Can I ask you something?”
You cock your head. “Yeah?”
He looks away from you, as if weighing the consequences of his request he’s about to ask. When he does, heat floods down to your core, turning you on again so fast that you see stars.
“Can I…do that again?”
You giggle against him.
“Of course. Call it an assessment of your skills you’ve learned so far.”
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divider credit: @/benkeibear
networks: @thehoneypotserver @enchantedforest-network
disclaimer: DO NOT copy or repost my works for any reason. translations are acceptable, but please ask for permission first!
© kakuchari 2023-2024
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smashingdollz · 1 year
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Headcanons of Giyuu, Rengoku, Gojo, and Nanami react to shy crush confessing to him?
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
hello anon, thank you for the request! i can do that.
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˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
𝐆𝐢𝐲𝐮𝐮
-Shinobu definitely teased you about your crush on Giyuu, "how could you like Tomioka out of all people?" yet she also teased you into confessing to him. (she still wanted to support you)
-when youre confessing you arent actually intimidated by him, even if he is just starring at you quietly waiting for your confession to end so he could return your feelings. he actually has this aura that somehow calms you even if youre in a situation that should make you extremely nervous. of course youre still stuttering, but not as much.
-as youre confessing he feels extremely warm inside. ever since he joined the Demon Slayer Corp he has been constantly surrounded by hate, but he gets a break whenever hes around you. he just wants to embrace you and feel that way all the time.
-the way you shyly praise him is what keeps him going. you in general is one of the main reasons he keeps going, he wants to live a quiet happy life with you. and he would do anything he can to obtain that.
-and he verbally expresses that; he walks over, and gently places his hand on the back of your head to bring you closer to him. "as long as your by my side ill do anything to protect you, so we could live a peaceful life"
-Shinobu teases the hell out of both of you. whith Giyuu its way worse though 💀 but overall everyone is completely shocked that the two of you ended up together. a couple of people asked if you were okay when they heard the news.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮
-you could not meet this mans gaze, you would honestly look anywhere but his eyes. he would notice this and would take your fidgeting hands into his which automatically sends a comforting warmth through your body.
-he boldly, and loudly accepts your confession. and very boldly praises you. "I LIKE YOU TOO Y/N!", "YOU LOOK EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME TODAY!". the more he praises you the more hes slowly breaking you, he doesnt mean to of course, please forgive him.
-he does find your shy demeanor quite interesting though, since hes always been confident an loud. he does try to get you out of your comfort zone at times, but if you dont want to he respects your boundaries and maybe gives it another try some other time, he just wants to raise your confidence a bit and wants you to see yourself the same way he sees you.
-after that day hes always by your side, you insist that he can go do whatever he wants but hes always say "THATS FINE! ID PREFER TO STAY BY YOUR SIDE FOREVER!" he just wants to make sure your safe! whenever someone talking over you he speaks up for you! or he announces that you have something important to say.
-Mitsuri squeals every time she sees the two of you. she thinks the two of you are so cute together, especially because the two of ypu are polar opposites.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨
-at this point im praying for you and getting your casket ready. he would absolutely teas the hell out of you till youre red in the face and pass out- then when you wake up hell refer to himself as your "savior" jk jk, but honestly please be prepared for a lot of teasing during and after your confession.
-when you get nervous and start fidgeting during your confession he turns off his force field (its been so long i forgot what its called, infinite?) so he could comfort you. (he makes it extremely worse 😍) but honestly the fact that he turned off his ability just to comfort you is so cute. you know that scene when he held that curses hand? yeah he did that with you.
-he takes in your quiet praises and hod them close. sure he loves all the praises he gets, but he especially loves them from you, what you say about him is the only thing he cares about. and just like how you boost his ego, he makes sure to boost yours as well
-"you know, youre extremely cute when youre bold, i guess thats one of many reasons why i like you. but when you act shy youre even cuter!" MANS CANNOT LET YOU BREATHE FOR A MINUTE- he definitely shows you off and you become apart of the silly shenanigans he pulls.
-his students are totally kicking their feet and giggling at the fact that their teacher is getting confessed to. yet some of them are wondering why and how this man is getting confessed to and how someone like you can like him. they send you their best wishes and "get well soon" cards 💀 youre gonna boost this mans ego, but thats okay, anything for this man and his beautiful eyes.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢
-he is extremely patient with you. "theres no need to rush in. please, take your time." he knows you act like this around everyone, but he wants you to be comfortable around him. he wants you to feel what he feels when hes around you, you make him feel extremely warm, and whenever your around him you make him forget about this job that he hates so much.
-if youre still struggling with your words he stops you, "thats okay, you dont have to say any more, because no matter what you say ive already decided that ill spend my life with you" thats when you fell in love with him all over again. hes so considerate with how you feel, and he doesn't make you go out of your way if you dont want to. he wants to give you a happy comfortable life.
-he doesnt mind the way you act at all, even though to others you may seem childish or insecure. he knows its something thats normal and doesnt bash you for it, he would rather worry anout you (and Yuji) than anything else.
-you guys cannot catch a break with Gojo, he would be teasing the hell out of both of you. youd just be standing there all flustered as this man goes on and on and Nanami is just staring at him like 😐 Yuji thinks the two of you are absolutely cute together though!
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˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
i hope you like these, it was really fun to come up with them. i absolutely love Gojos and Nanamis parts. thank you for requesting!
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rebelwrites · 2 years
Text
I Will Never Stop Loving You
Charles Leclerc x Reader
Summary: You had never seen Charles lose it like he did tonight, it was a side of him you didn’t know. But you never expect the evening to end like it did.
Requested by anon: I was wondering if you could write a fic where the reader and charles are arguing and she flinches during the argument and charles doesnt know what to do ( or maybe he does 🤷‍♀️ idk i am just a really flinchy person and some of it because i cant see properly😅 and some of it is because trauma
Warnings: flinching during argument, mention of physical injury from a car crash, mention of car crash. Google translate has been used a lot.
A/N I got carried away with this - there will be another two parts coming. As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️
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Today had been a complete disaster, not only were you involved in a car accident on the way to the race but Charles lost the race following another string of mistakes from the Ferrari team. That wasn’t even the worst part, it was the fact Charles hadn’t even asked you if you were okay. He was too focused on spewing profanities about the race and the team, granted you didn’t tell him about the accident mainly because you didn’t want him to worry about it during the race. If he crashed it would have been ten times worse than someone t-boning you at a junction. But he hadn’t even noticed the bruising that had formed against your skin, the butterfly stitches along your hairline, your bust lip or the bandage that was tightly wrapped around your thigh which peaked out of your dress.
So you sat there in silence, staring at your phone screen mindlessly scrolling through your Instagram account, humming in agreement every so often.
“Are you even listening?” He said, snapping you out of your daze.
“Yeah, of course.” You nodded, locking your phone praying he didn’t ask what he was saying. But luck wasn’t on your side today.
“What did I say then?”
“Fuck,” you mumbled under your breath. “Something ‘bout the fuck up with the tyres.”
“See you weren’t listening.” He scoffed, keeping his eyes on the road as the rain poured from the sky. He didn’t say anything else after that and an uncomfortable silence fell across the two of you.
Tears burned your eyes but you refused to let them fall, it was just the stress of the day you kept telling yourself but Charles was getting more and more snappy. The smallest thing would set him off and you knew it was due to the stress of the season but that didn’t mean you liked it.
In fact it broke your heart seeing how beaten down your fiancé was and there was nothing you could do. Leaning your head against the window of the rental car you stared out into the darkness as Charles drove through the streets.
You knew he would reach breaking point but what scared you the most was the dull look in his eyes. You had hardly seen him recently, most of the days he kept himself busy on the simulator, working out and stressing over strategies.
The man you fell in love with was no longer standing in front of you.
Squeezing your eyes closed as Charles pulled into the garage of the hotel, quickly parking the car before jumping out leaving you sitting there in the front seat.
Letting out a shaky breath you undid your seat belt, wincing as you pulled yourself out of the car, your weight transferring onto your recently stitched up thigh. Blinking back the tears you slowly followed Charles, you couldn’t move too fast due to the limp you currently had.
“Can you slow down please.” You said softly, watching as Charles looked over his shoulder.
“Just want to get up to the room.” He said, any emotion in his voice had been replaced with exhaustion.
“Okay.” You nodded, biting your lip as you tried to quicken your pace.
Once again you were met with an uncomfortable silence as you stood side by side in the elevator. Charles still not noticing your injuries.
Running your hand over your face you just hoped tomorrow was a better day even if you knew you were only kidding yourself.
As soon as the elevator stopped on the floor you were staying on Charles rushed out without waiting for you. Sadness washed over your body as once again it was going to feel like spending a night with a stranger and not the man you loved.
Slowly you made your way into the room, dumping your bag by the door, it still blew you away with the hotels you stayed at, they were more like apartments than the standard hotel room but you knew you shouldn’t have expected anything less.
The air had become stale between you and Charles and it was only a matter of time before things fully blew up.
“Where were you today?” He said leaning against the counter top, his knuckles going white from his grip.
Rolling your eyes, you let the fridge door slam behind you as you slowly unscrewed the cap of the water bottle.
“Now you care.” You said quietly, causing him to spin around.
“Of course I fucking care.” He said loudly. “I had a shitty weekend and the one person I needed in that moment wasn’t fucking there to support me.” With every word that came out of his mouth his voice got louder.
You had never seen him lose it like this before, not with you anyway. Tears brimmed your eyes as you stood there in shock at his outburst.
“You have a funny way of showing you care.” You mumbled, fiddling with the hem of your dress.
“What the fuck, Y/N?” He snapped, slamming his fist down on the counter.
His action made you flinch, stepping back from him. He had never gotten violent before but slamming his fist down in anger was something you would have never imagined he would do.
Taking a deep breath composing yourself, you stopped holding the tears back letting them freely roll down your cheek.
“Fuck you.” You spat, anger fully taking over your body. “Do you really want to know where I was during the race?”
“Yes, I do.” He shouted.
“I was at the fucking hospital.” You screamed, watching his face screw up in confusion. “But shows how much you fucking care, you haven’t even noticed the bandage on my thigh where I had to have a large shard of glass removed before getting something like 20 stitches, the butterfly stitches on my face and the large fucking bruise on my cheek.”
You were met with silence as ran his hand over his face, softening his expression as he realised what was staring him in the face. “Qu'est-il arrivé? What happened?” He asked, his tone quieter as he stepped around the counter trying to close the gap between you.
“I was in a fucking car accident, I tried calling you but you declined the call.” You sobbed, your throat going dry as you tried to get the words out. “Three fucking times Charles. When I needed you the fucking most you sent me to goddamn voicemail.”
He reached out trying to brush his knuckles down your cheek but you stepped back refusing his touch.
You knew he would reach breaking point but you didn’t realise you would hit that point this evening as well. Tears clouded your vision as you stood there in the middle of the room, your heart breaking even more with every second that passed.
“Je ne savais pas I didn’t know” he breathed as the tears rolled down his cheeks. “What can I do? What do you need?”
Shaking your head at his words you roughly wiped your eyes with the palm of your hands. “There’s nothing you can do.” Your voice was barely audible at this point, nothing could stop the tears that were falling as you fiddled with your engagement ring. You loved this man to bits but he wasn’t the same anymore, he let the stress and pressure get to him and this time it was too much for you to handle. You weren't made for this, you couldn’t do this any more.
“Chérie, parle-moi s'il te plaît. Darling, please talk to me.” He sobbed, his eyes widening at the sight of you playing with your ring.
“There’s nothing left to talk about.” You said, squeezing your eyes closed as you tried to get your breathing under control. “I don’t even know who you are anymore Charles. The man that stands in front of me isn’t the caring, sensitive man, it isn't the man I fell in love with.” A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you looked down at your hand. “I hardly fucking see you anymore, I spend most of my time alone in hotel rooms whilst you act like I don’t exist, even when I try and comfort you trackside I basically get brushed off.”
Silence fell around you both again, the only sound was both your heart breaking as Charles realised what was happening, what he had put in motion without knowing it. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from your hand watching as you pulled the ring off your finger. It was like everything was happening in slow motion as he felt his throat dry out.
“Darling, please don't do this. I'm so fucking sorry. I'm fucking stupid I've just been extremely stressed with the championship.” He sobbed, dropping to his knees in front of you, taking your hand in his stopping you from fully removing the ring. “Je suis tellement désolé. Je passerai chaque instant à t'inventer ça. I'm so fucking sorry. I will spend every moment making this up to you.”
“Charles,” you breathed as more tears streamed down your face. “Je ne peux plus faire ça. Je suis désolé. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.” Taking a deep breath you pulled the engagement ring off your finger, placing it in the palm of his hand.
Spinning around you ignoring the pain from your heart and thigh you wiped the tears as you quickly grabbed your passport and the first hoodie you could find not realising it was one of Charles’. Never in a million years did you think this was how tonight was going to go.
“Baby, please.” Charles cried, still on his knees in the living area of the hotel room. “Let me make it up to you. Things will be better.”
Reaching down grabbing your bag off the floor, you looked over your shoulder taking one last look at Charles. Taking a deep breath you stilled your movements for a moment. “Je t'aimerai toujours, mon charliebear. I will always love you, my charliebear.”
Charles watched silently as you left the hotel, he instantly felt numb. He had just let the best thing that had ever happened to him and a 5 year relationship slip through his fingers because he was too blinded by the championship to see what it was doing to you.
The painful sobs echoed through the hotel room as Charles hugged his knees, clutching the ring that had been sitting on your finger for the last 9 months. He couldn’t do anything, he was frozen to the spot sobbing his heart out as the reality of the situation rested heavy on his shoulders. He had no idea how long he stayed in that position but exhaustion soon took over as he fell asleep on the floor.
-
The tears had finally stopped as you reached the airport. Nodding a thanks to the driver you tossed some notes at him before exiting the cab. Placing a cigarette between your lips you shakily lit the smoke, you hadn’t smoked for the last five years but once again life had another way of surprising you. Taking a long drag of the white stick you felt the nicotine fill your lungs, watching people scurry around the main entrance of the airport.
You had managed to find a last minute flight back to the UK which you were grateful for, you desperately needed to go home because for the first time in forever Monaco didn’t feel like home anymore.
Taking the last drag of the cigarette you stubbed it out in the cigarette bin, the crisp air wrapping around your shoulders causing you to pull the hoodie over your body, more tears filled your eyes as you realised in your broken haze you had picked up one of Charles’ hoodies. The smell was intoxicating, heartbreaking and comforting all at the same time. Mentally you cursed yourself for not checking which hoodie you were picking up but it was too late now, you couldn’t go back and change it.
Your body ached and your heart was calling out for Charles but you pushed through the pain, maneuvering your way through the crowds until you reached the check in desks.
Ignoring sympathetic looks of the older women behind the deck, you provided her with all the details you needed, not bothering to make any small talk with her.
As soon as you had your boarding pass you thanked her before rushing to the relevant gate. You didn’t have a lot of time before your flight took off. Pulling your phone out you sighed at your lock screen, it was a photo that Pierre had taken without either of you knowing. You and Charles were completely lost in the moment in an arcade you found when you were in the UK for the British GP. Pushing the memory to the back of your mind you unlocked your phone scrolling through the contacts until you found the one name you were looking for.
Dad
The dial tone echoed through your headphones and you reached the gate. You knew he would have been asleep due to the time back home but you prayed he answered.
“Hello.” His voice came through rough because you had woken him up.
“Hi dad,” you sniffled, blinking back tears. “Sorry for waking you but I-I.” You stuttered, squeezing your eyes closed, taking a breath trying to compose yourself “I’m coming home, I’m at the airport now.”
“Oh sweetheart,” he sighed, the sound of your voice told him something had happened “What happened?”
“Can we not talk about it right now?” You whimpered, finally sitting down taking the pressure off your leg.
“Okay,” he said softly before pausing. “Let your old man know when you land and I will come pick you up. Have a safe flight darling. Love you.”
“Love you too, dad.”
No matter how much you tried you couldn’t get any sleep on the plane, every time you closed your eyes images of Charles flashed through your mind, memories from the past 5 years to this evening. Your heart was calling out for him but you needed some time away, time for both of you to figure shit out no matter how much it hurt.
The flight was only a couple of hours but it felt like a lifetime had passed once you had landed in the UK airport. A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you got off the plane, going through security and straight out to the arrivals terminal. The process was quick but you didn’t have anything apart from what you carried around everyday in your bag, everything else had been left in the hotel room or back in Monaco. Scanning the room you spotted your dad sipping a large coffee as he waited. The moment he saw you heading towards him, he placed the travel cup on the table next to him just in time for you to fling your arms around his chest, hiding your face in his hoodie. The feeling of his protective arms wrapping around your tight was comforting, but it wasn’t the arms that could fully comfort you.
“What happened, darling?” He hummed, pressing a kiss against the top of your head.
“Me and Charles,” you whispered, pulling away as more tears rolled down your cheeks. “We’re over.”
Your dad’s face dropped at the news, he absolutely adored Charles, he saw him as the son he never got especially when both of his children were girls. He never thought anything would happen with you and the Monégasque. But what was more concerning was the butterfly stitches and bruising on your face. His rough fingers brushed away your tears. “Did he do this to you?” His voice was quiet but the anger was there at the thought of Charles doing this.
“No, it wasn’t him.” You whimpered, taking a breath. “I was involved in a car accident on the way to the race this weekend.”
“Oh darling,” he said softly, pulling you into a tight hug. “Let’s get you home.”
-
Charles jolted awake, his eyes squinting trying to adjust to the darkness. Confusion washed over him for a split second before the crushing weight of the heartbreak hit him. He was still lying on the floor of the hotel, his eyes were sore from crying and his fist had set from holding onto the engagement ring that only a couple of hours ago was sitting on your finger. Running his other hand over his face he sat there staring into the darkness for a few minutes before he pulled the black corded necklace from around his neck. Running his fingers over the ring he sighed heavily as he undid the clasp, slipping the ring next to the initial charm of your name. At least he still had this and the feeling of the ring against his skin would be a constant reminder for him, not that he needed reminding of how badly he had fucked up.
He managed to push himself off the floor, pulling his phone out of his pocket, sighing when he didn’t see any contact from you. Quickly unlocking the phone he called your number
The number you have called can not be reached. Please try again later.
More tears rolled down his cheeks, he didn’t want to believe it but he was quickly facing the harsh reality that he had lost you because of how he had been acting this season. His chest tightened not knowing where you were or if you were safe. Running his hands through his hair he screamed into the darkness, the screams soon turned into sobs as he made his way into the bedroom, stripping down to his boxers and climbing into bed. The smell of your perfume and shampoo invaded his senses as he stared up at the ceiling in the darkness. Nothing else mattered right now, he didn’t care about the upcoming races, press conferences, or championship. All he cared about was you but he felt like he was too late.
His world was crumbling faster than ever and he knew he wouldn’t be able to rebuild the pieces fast enough before he was crushed under the weight of it all.
He let the tears roll freely down his cheek as he called your number again.
The number you have called can not be reached. Please try again later.
“Come on baby,” he cried, roughly wiping his eyes as he opened up the messaging thread with you, before he knew it his fingers were dancing across the illuminated screen.
Y/N please Babygirl, please don’t do this
I’m so fucking sorry 😞
Please don’t go, I need you more than I need air to breathe
Je sais que j'ai foiré, s'il te plait, ne laisse pas ça être la fin pour nous. je commence. I know I fucked up, please don't let this be the end of us. I'm begging
Je ne cesserai jamais de t'aimer. Je n'arrêterai jamais d'essayer de réparer ça. Pour toujours et toujours mon doux ange. I will never stop loving you. I will never stop trying to mend this. Forever and always my sweet angel.
Switching onto his photo album he scrolled through the album he had of you, right from the first photo of the pair of you. He knew this was torture but he couldn’t help himself, memories flashed through his mind which made him sob even hard.
All that was left was memories.
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eomayas · 9 months
Text
love without tragedy • jww
pairing: mafia!wonwoo x f!reader
genre: angst, mafia au
synopsis: what is it called when he wont be your boyfriend but acts like he is?
warnings: swearing. mean wonwoo. toxic realtionship. reader is in her early twenties, its unspecified how old wonwoo is but he is older. reader slaps wonwoo
a/n: helloooo i cant get wonu out of my mind so here is a little drabble. he is really mean in this story but thats not how i see my man its just for the purpose of the plot 😭💕
the look he's giving you is enough to make you tremble. you've never felt fear around wonwoo—his job is inherently scary and dangerous, but you've never felt fear of him, though right now that is being put to the test. a cold shiver runs down your spine as he stares at you from across the room. you wish there was an island of distance between the two of you, and not a measly coffee table.
"w-we were j-just dancing," you try, wringing your hands together in front of you. he scoffs through his nose and smirks, but its not sweet. there is malice behind it, like he thinks you're pathetic.
"that's what we're calling it?"
sure, maybe you did do more than dance with jun. maybe he had his hand on your leg and you let him inch it up your dress. and maybe you let him kiss you a couple of times. and sure, they were on the lips, sometimes on the neck. and maybe jun ran in the opposing gang in the city, so you made yourself and your fathers mob a target, which inherently puts wonwoo in the middle of it as well. but can he really blame you? wonwoo won't go out with you, always says its not safe for you to be seen with him. what he's really saying, is that he doesn't want your father—his boss—to find out.
wonwoo stares at you, his nostrils flared and his jaw set. whats making all of this worse, is that he hasn't even yelled yet. anger is practically seeping from his pores, but hes not yelling. "well, you wont go out with me!" you exclaim, throwing your hands up.
"so you go and fuck around with somebody from the other side, all because i wont take you out?" he scoffs at you again as your bottom lip trembles. "you really are a spoiled brat, you know that?"
"don't call me that," you frown at him and he shrugs at you, unfazed by your emotional state and the words he's saying to you. other than the fact that you were kissing the opposition, you don't know why he cares so much—there are plenty of other men that work for your father that can handle this.
"its what you are—you think you can have whatever you want, whenever you want," he says bitterly.
your frown deepens, and you almost threaten telling your father, but you know he'll just call you childish. its what he always does when you two argue about something stupid and you pull the dad card. "you're not even my boyfriend, so i don't know why you give a shit," wonwoos nose twitches at the B-word, and you know you've struck a nerve. if theres a couple ways to get under his skin, its to threaten him with your dad and point out the truth to him. "im not yours to worry about. there are plenty of people who do that anyway."
when he doesnt say anything, you keep going. "and so what if jun is with the other side? he doesn't seem to mind being out with me—something you can't handle! you won't even be my boyfriend, so what i do, and who i do it with, is none of your fucking concern."
"watch your fucking mouth, y/n," you're visibly taken aback at his words and his tone. wonwoo rarely, if ever, swears at you. he'll swear in your everyday conversations, but its never towards you. not even when you swear at him, like right now, does he ever do it back.
staring at him with wide eyes, a million thoughts race through your head, the first one being: when did i start being afraid of him? "dont talk to me like that," you say, a slight tremor in your voice.
"don't pull that card now, you've been cussing at me all night," wonwoo spits, puffing his chest out. "that's that spoiled brat shit i'm talking about! you think the entire fucking world revolves around you, but it doesn't!" you can't handle his sudden change in temperament, and your hands ball into fists at your sides.
"quit fucking talking to me like that."
"i'll talk to you how i want to talk to you-" the slap happens before you even realize what you've done, your feet carrying you over to him on autopilot. its not until you pull your hand away from his cheek that you register what you've done, the hurt on his face.
anger flashes on his features, and you have a split second to panic. you tense up, waiting for him to yell at you, but instead he only takes a deep breath and shifts his gaze away from you. "wonwoo..." you whisper, bringing your finger tips up to touch your lips. a red mark in the vague shape on your hand spreads across his pale cheek, and you swallow the lump in your throat. "wonwoo, i..." you trail off, because you don't know how to finish that sentence—you are far from sorry, feeling vindicated because, in your eyes, he did deserve it.
wonwoo runs a hand over his face and opens his mouth, but rethinks and closes it into a thin line. shaking his head, he shrugs on his jacket and grabs his belongings from your coffee table. he slips past you wordlessly and your eyes trail him as he walks out of your apartment, a sort of darkness settling over the room as you're left to stand alone.
wonwoo doesn't call, and after the fifth day you start to lose your mind. the day after the incident, you hardly thought about him, and when you did, it made you angry. the second day, you started to feel his absence, but it wasn't nearly as violent as it feels right now. the tears started on the third day, and haven't stopped. its only now that the guilt has settled in, your dry phone practically taunting you every time that you touch it.
"kwannie, i miss him!" you moan, burying your face into a pillow and letting out a scream. your best friend, seungkwan, gently pats your head and you sigh, turning your head to the side to look at him. "do you think he'll call?"
seungkwan presses his lips into a line and glances around his bedroom. "y/n, you slapped him," he reminds you, making you wrinkle your nose. "and you haven't apologized yet. i would't want to talk to you either."
"okay, but he deserved it! he was being disrespectful!"
"but you put your hands on him. you should have let, like, mingyu or somebody—if not your dad—deal with him," seungkwan says, referring to another one of your fathers men. and seungkwan is right; even though mingyu and wonwoo are friends, you know that his loyalty to your father comes first, which means that you come first. any of his men could have handled it adequately.
sighing, you sit up and hug the pillow to your chest. "he is so..." you groan into the pillow and hold it there for a few seconds. wonwoo is a piece of work. he's quiet and hard to read at times, and can't always give you a clear answer on what the two of you have. he says things that hurt your feelings. but he's also a confidant, your protector, while being something similar to a boyfriend. you trust him more than you trust yourself at times, and sometimes what you feel for him is so intense you wonder if you're making it all up.
its hard to trace when your realtionship with wonwoo began. you've known him since you were 20 years old, him appearing seemingly out of nowhere one day when you came home for a weekend in college. he introduced himself politely, but hardly asked about you or offered any information about himself. you went back to campus with your brain on him and him only. it wasn't until that summer that you saw more of him, but you two hardly interacted. he was always around but never quite where you needed him. your paths hardly ever crossed, unless it was the rare times you happened to be passing by him in the hallway or kitchen. a few months later, when you were home for winter break, you ran into him early in the morning. you'd just come back from a work out and ran into him in the kitchen. he was leaned up against the island, tapping away on his phone and he looked up when he heard your footsteps. you spoke first, saying good morning and asking him how he’s been. he returned the conversation and from there, every time you saw him you two at least spoke.
from then on, you exchanged numbers. he’d text you sporadically, checking in on you and asking you about your classes, life, etc. the texts turned to phone calls, late into the night when you were tucked in and he was just getting home from whatever job he’d finished. he never really told you what he did, but you knew. when you’d ask, he’d just say he handled something for your father, almost like he was trying to protect you from his reality, but you knew—you’d grown up around this lifestyle from birth. the calls started getting longer too, going from ten minutes, to thirty, and then for an hour, sometimes more. you’d talk about any and everything, so late into the night that you’d hardly get sleep sometimes, nearly missing class or dozing off during lectures. but you didn’t care, as long as you got to talk to wonwoo.
for spring break that year, you didn’t plan to come home, having plans to go out of town with your friends. b ur you cut your trip short by two days, and came home instead. everybody was surprised to see you, especially your father who wasn't expecting you. you just lied and told him you wanted to surprise him, but that was far from the truth. you were itching to see wonwoo, even if only for a few minutes because of his other duties. it was hours before you finally got to see him, and when you did it was late. you were hot tubbing, and you heard the backdoor open, his dark figure emerging. you called out to him and he walked to the edge of the hot tub, squatting down in front of you. your heart was racing as he looked down at you, and you got goosebumps despite being in warm water. not much was said between the two of you, but it was like there was an electric current flowing between the two of you. you asked him about his day, and he gave you the answer he gives you all the time: "it was a day." and then he asked you, and you said: "better." as in, better now that he's here in front of you. you raised your body out of the water a bit, the water coming up to the bottom of you ribcage. wonwoo shamelessly checked you out, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. you moved to the edge of the tub, standing directly in front of him, his eyes darting between your bikini clad chest and your eyes. you stood up taller, this time most of your body coming out of the water, to get as close as possible to his face without touching him. he asked you: "do you know what you're doing?" to which you replied: "im positive i know what i'm doing." and then you kissed him, pressing your wet body against his extremely dry and clothed one, your hands gripping the edge of the hot tub. he kissed you with a hunger that made you breathless, and you gripped the front of his black jacket, nearly yanking him into the hot tub with you. when you pulled back to look in his inky dark eyes, you knew you were a goner.
letting out a breath, you let go and drag your hands over your face, closing your eyes. "i just don't get him sometimes," for nearly two years, you have been playing a sick game of cat and mouse with him. you think you have him, and then he'll say something to remind you that you in fact, don't. but he always has you, as much as it pains you to admit it. "h-he says he can't be my boyfriend. but when i try to go out—if i even look at another man—he goes crazy. kwan, i don't even know how he knew where i was. i didn't tell him i was going out."
seungkwan swallows and avoids your eyes. you glare at him, trying to meet his gaze. "seungkwan."
"yes?"
you hold eye contact for a second before he quickly looks away, and you gasp. "seungkwan, what the fuck!" you shout, jumping off of your bed. he holds his hands up in surrender, his eyes wide and pleading.
"y/n, i'm sorry! but he called me randomly, and said that you weren't answering! and he knew i wasn't with you because i picked up the phone, and i swear i wasn't going to tell him, but..." seungkwan trails off and you scoff, shaking your head.
"but what?"
"but... you know wonwoo: he's intimidating. and i don't want any problems with him. i'm really sorry, y/n. but i felt like i had no choice."
you frown at seungkwans words, the gears in your head turning. he had no choice? "did he threaten you?" you ask your best friend, your stomach churning. seungkwan... he's not like the rest of them. his father is also a mob leader and does dealing with your own father, which is how you two know each other. he is your longest and first friend. seungkwan isn't involved in any mob activities per his mother, who made it known that his father was not to involve her only son in any of that business. everybody knows to leave seungkwan alone, that he's like you: off limits. but clearly, your not-boyfriend doesn't know the rules.
seungkwan waves vaguely in the air and you see red for a moment before snatching your purse off of the nightstand and pocketing your phone. "y/n, where are you going?"
"i'll be back," is all you say before running out of his house and down to your car, hopping in and speeding the one place you can guarantee to find wonwoo.
pulling up to the club, you swing your car into a spot and scan the parking lot looking for his black mercedes. you spot it glimmering in the evening sun, and scoff before jumping out. you hardly have to talk to anybody when you walk in and make you way to the very back where wonwoo and five of your fathers men do business outside of your house.
a cloud of smoke hits your face when you push the door open, and you scrunch your face up. the first person you come in contact with is joshua, your fathers right hand man who you've known for the greater part of your life. when your father wasn't around, joshua was. he was more like an uncle to you, practically raising you. "hey, princess," he says, a smile on his face.
"where is wonwoo?" you ask, eyes surveying the room. you see mingyu, minghao, jeonghan, and vernon, but not the man you are here for.
"that's how you greet me?" joshua asks, tilting his head to the side. you don't feel like arguing, so you give him a quick hug paired with a kiss on the cheek. "why are you looking for wonwoo?" he asks.
you bite the inside of you cheek, trying to come up with a lie on the fly, until the door to another room opens, and wonwoo emerges buttoning the first three buttons on his shirt, followed by a dancer. your stomach drops, and you feel like laughing and crying at the same time. wonwoo doesn't acknowledge the woman and turns away from her, meeting your eye in the process. guilt and shock pass quickly over his features, before he composes himself and carries on like he didn't see him.
marching over to him, you stand in front of him as he takes a seat on the couch in the room. "wonwoo, we need to talk," you say, putting your hands on your hips. he picks up a glass of brown liquor and drains its remaining contents.
"then talk."
"in private," you say, widening your eyes. he sighs and stands up, starting to walk over to the room he just came out of. "i'm not talking to you in there." you say, a hint of disgust in your voice.
"then talk," he barks, the room quieting down a bit. your face burns in embarrassment, hating the way he's treating you. he stares up at you like there's better things he could be doing, his gaze hard.
"you're such an asshole."
wonwoo shrugs. "oh well."
"you know what, wonwoo? fuck you. i know you threatened boo the other night, so you can just fuck off! you can fuck with me—fine—but leave seungkwan out of it!"
his nose twitches like it did the other night, but this time you don't stick around to wait for him to explode. you leave just as quickly as you'd shown up.
once outside, the tears start. you lean against the side of the building and sob into your hands. you don't know how, or why, for that matter, you let wonwoo treat you this way. but he's not always like this— you've seen sides of him that prove it. but its been nearly two years of push and pull, him doing both the pushing and pulling. he pushes you away while simultaneously pulling you to him. he knows that you'll follow him wherever he goes.
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margueritedaisies · 7 months
Text
I just love drawing families of fictional characters, its interesting to think of how each sibling would look. I try to make them different from one another but at the same time maintain familial similarities.
Jinzha resembles their mom, Muzha their dad, and Nezha's a good mix of both.
Also get ready with some sibling dynamic rant, mostly relation HCs by me.
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Enough with the parent child dynamic
I want sibling dynamic. Where these three come to terms on what happened between them. Specifically Muzha and Nezha's interaction is the one I want to see.
Tbh those two's fates in the myth reminded me of Hyakkimaru and Tahomaru in Dororo.
Like Nezha and Muzha had so much potential to gain solidarity with each other. Because Jinzha could never relate to them as the ignored or unwanted child. Muzha has that middle child stuggle fr.
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Muzha is the one so eager to gain their fathers favor trying to meet Jinzha's level . Nezha wants nothing from his father so he makes himself worse.
Muzha's frustration with Nezha is that Nezha is rebellious, disrespectful of their dad
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While Nezha's frustration to Muzha is that Muzha is so blinded and always struggling to achieve something so futile. Deep down he hates how Muzha is suffering this way but he wouldnt speak of it. This is why they always at odds.
They should make a movie focusin the Li brothers fr
Other than overusing the actual myths.
Fuck the ending from the original myth, they didnt even consider how the children felt from all the abuse. Not even mention of Muzha's death.
Enough Ao Bing, what about Muzha???
And the moral lesson is just about "respecting elders"?? The story still had so much to wrap up. How can you call this a family if there is some sort of hierarchal system. A family requires empathy to maintain that connection.
Tbh its kinda realistic
Families and siblings can still inflict trauma from each other .And a story based on reconcilation is a good way for this to be about family counselling.
I wanna see the "what ifs". It could be each brothers own story of self healing from the trauma caused on each other.
Maybe Im getting my hopes up too much, but it could be a development for them to forgive, start anew and an opportunity to connect and catch up on what they missed on each other.
Edit:
As for Jinzha he also has his own struggles as the eldest. Keeping up the station as the golden favored and perfect son. But its Asian family dynamics, which means hes in a lot of pressure. But he is mentally and emotionally strong. The brothers always busy on his studies ,future responsibilities and training to be able to spend time together. Their timetables seemed to be planned out to always not meet. Jinzha especially had less freetime. And if he ever came across any of his brothers, it was only one of them never both.
He doesnt mind being a buffer for the other two feuding but it does stress him out that it will never change. But he'll make sure to give time and attention to both of them as much as he can.
Other than keeping up his fathers expectations he also doesnt want to fail as a big brother to them🥺😭
Muzha and Nezha can see his efforts so they do not dare hold anything against him. Muzha still keeps his competitive attitude when Jinzha's around but accepts any offered kindness from Jinzha. While Nezha enjoys his company when he gets the chance.
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Also because I tend to hold on to this little bit of bonding😭🥺🥺Jinzha trying to be the best big bro
Thinking of the contrast in the future where Jinzha was tasked to torture Nezha destroyed me😭😭😭What did Jinzha even feel while he had to do it??
Also here some Nezha with his hair down again
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user220811 · 1 year
Note
hii i saw ur crush/best friend headcanons for lo’ak and i loved them sm. i was wondering if u could do hcs where lo’ak and reader both like each other and the reader gets jealous over tsireya? what would lo’ak do if he found out?
“I see you”
Lo’ak x fem!omatikaya!reader imagine (fluff)
Please read!!! I only posted my first avatar imagine yesterday, and am now at 100 followers!! I want to thank you all so much, I am more than grateful!! Hope you enjoy :)
Sorry this ones kinda crap
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I see you- “I see the love and your feelings and your soul and you mean everything to me.”
You and Lo’ak have always had a special connection, and everyone is aware of it. You also clearly like eachother, but both of you doubt that the others feel the same. When you joined them on their travel to the water na’vis, you were quite nervous with what to expect.
“What if they find us?” You ask warily.
“Well then I will protect you.” Lo’ak states.
You smile at his braveness, even though you and him both know that deep down he is just as scared. But Lo’ak loves when he gets a chance to act brave and fearless like his dad.
When you all arrived at the reefs, you were still kind of cautious, and Lo’ak saw this, so pulled you between him and Neteyam. You kept your head down, avoiding the eyes of the Metkayina. You looked away as Jake spoke to Tonowari and Ronal, and glanced at the water around you.
Thats when you spotted a girl emerging from the water. She seemed about your age, and was beautiful. Way prettier than you, you thought. You noticed how Neteyam and Lo’aks heads turned in the same direction, and seemed to linger on the same girl. Neteyam you didnt really care about looking, but you felt insecure as Lo’aks eyebrows ever so slightly raised as his eyes followed the girl, and she looked at him, too. You know you shouldnt feel this way, but you cant help it. For all you know, Lo’ak doesnt have any interest in you, not like you with him.
When she was introduced as Tonowari and Ronal’s daughter, it made you feel even worse about yourself. You weren’t anyone special back in the jungle, just a normal omatikaya na’vi. With Lo’ak being Jake’s son, you felt worried that they would have stronger connections than you and him.
You were taken away from your thoughts by a tug on your arm, and snapped out of it to focus on Lo’ak infront of you.
“Y/n, come on, they are showing us our home. Are you okay?” He says, a hint of concern in his tone.
“Yeah yeah I’m fine, come on” you reply, going ahead with your hand still in his. Lo’ak wasnt fully convinced, but decided to drop it.
Once you had settled in to your home, you were all called to the water, to learn the ways of the Metkayina. You stayed beside Lo’ak, as you were lead to the rocks by the water, by Tsireya and her two brothers. You all sat in a circle, you securely sat between Neteyam and Lo’ak.
“You must learn to slow your breathing to be able to survive under the water.”
She knelt infront of Lo’ak, and placed her hand on his lower abdomen.
“Breathe from here” she instructs
You know it is just their way of teaching, but you felt a wave of jealousy come over you. You werent the type to cause a scene, so you stayed sat down, quietly.
Once you all were able to slow your heart rate enough, you were lead to the water. Lo’ak had a sense of urgency about him as he went ahead with Tsireya, clearly going way too fast for him to handle so soon, and this made you feel deflated. You had only been there a matter of hours and already felt like Lo’ak had found someone over you. You didnt like feeling this way at all, and needed to get away from it. Neteyam, who was swimming beside you, noticed this, but before he was able to check, you spoke up.
“I dont feel all that well, I’m gonna go back.” You say, which is clearly a lie.
Neteyam could tell this, and with a quick glance to Lo’ak and the others ahead, he knew why you felt that way. But he knew you were reserved, and wouldnt tell him the truth, so didn’t want to push it.
“Do you want me to come with you?” He asks softly.
“No no its okay, you go on. Just tell the others I’ll join them another day.” You insist, and turn to swim back to shore before Neteyam could muster another word.
You were now sat down on the edge of your home dangling your feet in the water, splashing the surface with small glum kicks. Neytiri and Jake were with the girls exploring their new home and meeting the clan, so you were on your own.
That was until you heard footsteps.
“Y/n” you hear Lo’ak say as he spots you.
He sits down beside you, placing his feet in the water like you were, and shuffles up close.
“How come you didnt come with us into the sea? It was amazing!” Lo’ak says
“I uh, I didnt feel right,” you said with your head down towards the water “Just wanted to be on my own”
“Are you okay? You have seemed quiet.” He says, gently placing his hand on yours, “Have I done something?”
You look him in the eyes, his filled with concern, yours with longing.
“No, no, its just, its nothing.” You say, returning your focus to the water.
“I know its not nothing y/n, your eyes tell me different.” Lo’ak replies sincerely.
“I guess Im just worried,” you begin.
“About what?” Lo’ak ponders, scooting even closer to you.
“That you’ll forget about me.”
“Wait- what? Why do you think that?” Lo’ak questions, worry filling him.
“Lo’ak, Ive seen the way you look at Tsireya, I mean, I get it, she’s beautiful, shes talented, shes smart, shes-”
“Y/n, stop.” Lo’ak says
You stop.
“Do you think I like Tsireya?” He asks, looking you deep into your eyes as you look up towards him.
“Well its kind of obvious” you painfully chuckle.
“Y/n, I dont like Tsireya.”
You look at him confused, and he shakes his head with a laugh, looking down at his lap for a second.
“Y/n, its always been you.” Lo’ak states. You are taken by surprise, and Lo’ak notices this. He grabs both your hands, and hold you close.
“Y/n, I see you.”
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dykesagainstgojo · 11 months
Text
ok im about to start rambling like crazy because since yesterday i cant stop thinking about this fucking scene and how it just makes stsg's future fight worse better. this is a wonderful point to stop, and think about their breakup and how it was clearly motivated by a lot more than just a clash of ideals
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to get started its really interesting to think about how gojo was the one who gave the idea of going against any rules and fighting the person at the foundation of the jujutsu society for riko. he was ready to risk everything for a single kid, to grant her the life she wanted. both he and geto knew, that if they chose this path, the consequences would be irreparable. even if they won against tengen, it meant the barriers would be totally fucked up and they would likely become fugitives, but that was alright! as long as they gave riko the opportunity to be a child! to be happy! even tho they were also just teenagers themselves and its clear that this being a kickoff to turn their lives upside down sounds so similar to what happened to geto, and its why his deflection and all the lack of communication around it are even more depressing. the thing is: i cant imagine a world where gojo, knowing about mimiko and nanako, would disagree with getos attitude. even if you dont take into consideration how gojo was ready to kill the whole star cult after riko died, it just doesnt goes with what we saw of him until that point (and from that point onward too) some people disagree with this, because it goes in favor of the whole "gojo didnt had a moral compass of his own when he was a teenager" thing (which is totally wrong). to me, it doesnt. gojo had his own opinions, but he also seemed very aware of how this didnt mean he was ready for the nuances of every situation he could get caught on, and that was where talking to geto helped him. they had similar opinions, gojo felt safe being honest with him, and they were equals! who could be better to question his decisions, right? well, thats exactly why theres a whole plot line about geto looking gojo and feeling that they were no longer neck to neck when gojo goes after geto in shinjuku, its really unambiguous the fact that his goal was not to kill him, but to talk to him. gojo wanted to understand what was the meaning behind geto's actions. geto, who always made sure everything he did had a clear and well-thought motivation, would surely have an explanation for his choice. and in a certain way, he did, yes. i think its quite easy to see that gojo, who even ten years later was out there saying he would side with yuta in a fight, if the higher ups decided to kill him, would see at least a little bit of sense in the core of geto's choice if he just knew about it. but he didnt when geto decided that gojo would never understand him, he wasnt thinking about gojo disagreeing with the effectiveness of it, because geto himself knew it was a dumb idea. the heart of what he was doing, wasnt really to succeed, even tho he gives his best to make himself believe that he will. its all about choosing the murder spree he did in that village, and then doing a backward justification; its about hopelessly doing something, for the sake of doing something. if he were gojo, his plan wouldnt be stupid. if he were gojo, there wasnt any plan that would sound stupid. because gojo had the power to change the world if he set his heart on doing so, but geto didnt. what he could do was choose his path and give his best at staying at it, no matter how painful it was
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autisticlancemcclain · 5 months
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fic rec friday 54
hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.
all i want for christmas by tusslee
“Listen,” Lance squeezes Keith’s fingers in his hands, “I’m as bad at this as you probably are and this is going to be really cheesy, but that’s the way I was raised and I know I act like an idiot around pretty girls, but I’m an even bigger idiot around you. Go ahead and try to guess why that is. No, actually don't do that."
this one is gonna be an xmas special!! even though im writing this before halloween lol. anyways. this was so cute!! lance being all stressed about what he should get keith bc he's all in love w him any everything. so real.
2. You're Here (Where You Should Be) by @blue-wanderer
"And if you’re worried about the cameras just take care of them.” “Take care—! Take care of them? With what, Keith?” “I don’t know?” Keith asks, busily testing his foothold in the gate and generally ignoring the rising storm cloud of ire behind him. “With a gun?” “A gun? This isn’t some sort of black ops storming an enemy base thing! This is a Christmas tree thing!” “I don’t see a difference? You’re the sharpshooter. Shoot out the cameras.” “Let me just pull a gun out of my ass, Keith!” “OK, problem solved,” Keith agrees, taking another step up the gate. “Nothing is solved you dumb country space redneck!”
Or Keith and Lance may be disasters at decorating, but Christmas still manages to work its magic on them.
i bookmarked this like a year ago and let me tell you all i needed to hear was dumb country space redneck and i was hooked 😭😭 and it lived up to the name fr. hate the canon ending? want lance to not be a farmer while still acknowledging his struggles with homesickness? want some whipped keith and meddlesome kosmo? want some cheesy xmas feels? click ahead!
3. make my wish come true by angelbolt
“A world where one has to fight for custody of one’s boyfriend is a godless one,” Lance muttered, slumping so he was leaning against Hunk. Shiro exchanged some final words with Kolivan before the screen blipped out. Ah yes, the ideal Christmas Eve: long boring talks and war meetings. Wonderful. ❆❅❆ keith comes home for christmas.
fun game idea: take a shot every time you see a klance xmas fic with a mariah carey lyric. lol. ANYWAYS yall know me and established relationship + early season dynamics!! i am obsessed!! and this fic delivers!! grumpy lance pov who just wants the rest of the world to fuck off for a couple days so he can have his bf around. he's such a voice of the people
4. i'll be home for christmas by @thespacenico
A severe bout of winter weather threatens to stop Shiro from making it home for his first Christmas with Keith. Shiro is ready to do whatever it takes to keep his promise.
okay this one is from darcy's i've got you brother, which i am obsessed with and have cried over several times, and which just recently updated! this fic is so cute and a adashi with young keith always fucking gets to me, man. they're just so. shiro being so desperately determined to keep his promise to young keith who has had so many promises broken that he doesnt even expect shiro to try. but is happy that he does. sobbing.
5. the greatest gift of all by dumpsterdiva
Keith’s mouth hung open for a few seconds before he stammered, “D-do you really mean that?” Lance looked a bit sheepish as he said, “I… It’s crazy, right? I mean, it’s way too soon. You know I was kidding.” Keith straightened up. “Well, I’m not. Marry me.” “What?!” “You heard me, you coward. Marry me.” “That’s the worst proposal ever!” “Worse than you threatening me with marriage so I would stop talking about how amazing you are?”
YOU GUYS KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT PROPOSAL FICS. i feel ksjbskdbqjdbqwlwd about them. okay. and throw in a christmas setting??? and banter?? and a MODERN AU?? i am doing my best, people. this fic had me shoving a pillow into my face and screaming.
that’s it for today!! happy holidays! merry christmas!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!
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