#this guy thinks im a fucking idiot fr

[waddles-ex-machina]

funniest example of me being mansplained to is when my coworker started explaining what the ‘production’ part of the show pipeline is to me (im an animator. i AM the production). 2nd funniest is when the same guy told me I was wrong abt whether or not a cartoon was made by luke pearson -

[tsurangaconundrum]

panem dash simulator

peeniss4everlark Follow

NOOOOOOOOOO

officialsenecacrane Follow

me when i lie

districtfun Follow

i heard from my uncle who works at hunger games that they're only pulling from everlark shippers when they do the quarter quell

gurlonfire

thats funny because when i was fucking your uncle last night he told me they're only pulling from bitchy district one stans

catohead69 Follow

we poppin the biggest bottles when cato wins

catohead69 Follow

theeclove Follow

okay but is anyone else pissed how the district 11 guy literally did favoritism for late districts or what

rues-song

the careers literally did an alliance r u fucking kidding me i hope u get reaped

theeclove

clearly SOMEBODY doesnt understand the strategy of the games

career-sweep Follow

PLEASE tag your hunger games spoilers. this is literally common sense the games have been going on for 74 years you should know better by now

#hunger games spoilers #SOOO pissed rn theres never been a live announcement and now i found out from fucking everlarks

maytheodds Follow

Yes I'm a 30 yr old hunger games watcher. I've been watching kids die since you were in diapers. You have NO idea the tragedies I've endured. Hunger games is escapism for many of us when I come home from a long day of logging the last thing I need is for some 13 yr old tribute dying in a high stakes competition that we ALL knew was high stakes starting a riot and destroying all the nations grain

corholeanussnow

lmao. get a load of this guy

girlalcoholic Follow

haymitch stans rise tf up

#yes girl get that salve #i would fuck that old man

cinnagirl3000 Follow

i wld nvr survive in thg fr baby im killing myself

#thnk goddddd im cap 😁 #i woulda stepped tf off that platform cinna its been an honor

caeserflickerwoman Follow

does anyone else think it was fucked that peeta invaded ceasar's space when he CLEARLY wasn't comfortable with being SNIFFED by a STRANGER

softgreenpillow

fuck you this is clearly so fucking capitol-centric no one in the capitol would ever be comfortable with any districtperson doing ANYTHING these days. it is capitol-boot-licking scum like you that holds the movement back. get BLOCKED idiot

butchjohanna Follow

Just something I've noticed I think we as a fandom have gotten WAY too comfortable using the phrase "get reaped" as an insult, when it's a very serious reality that many children live with and should not be taken this lightly. Some people online have had to put their names in more for necessities like bread or water and the absolute terror that grips a person waiting for their name to be called doesn't leave you even in adulthood. Please think before you speak

#many of you are not acting in a way that johanna would be proud of. get it together #reaping mention

starcrossedluvrs Follow

[privitivium]

HEAR ME OUTTTTTT

......... Masochistic Delinquent Yan

i hear u loud n clear….. yan masochistic delinquent x himbo-ish reader. i enjoy this. might fuck around and make more and whatnot. delinquent bully yans have my heart fr.....

imagine him literally just fucking with you constantly just to get a reaction to put ur hands on him,, however, you provide none. you think it's just guys being guys and messing around, bullying one another! smacking each others’ bare asses with towels in the locker room, along with a little shit-talking type deal.. casually throwing insults at him, ruffling your hair dry - facing away from you with crossed arms - dick hard as he tries to form a coherent insultㅡ

before you slap his arm a little too hard on accident, playfully hitting him after throwing out an insult about his physique.. “don't fucking touch me, man..” he'd look at you as if you were stupid, even if you were just a little bit, yeah, it still hurts,,, fuck he didnt msan literally!! don't look at him with that sad puppy dog look!!! you can touch him, he promises!!!! but alas, he has to keep up his cruel and enigmatic nature with other people around… he can't beg you on his knees that yes please hit him, please continue playfully insulting him in that dark toneㅡ

delinquent often daydreaming while staring at you. very obvious. pressing on the accidental bruises you'd leave on his arms while he jerks off,,, thinking about his hair being pulled by your strong hands, muttering insults in his ear that would make him writhe tearfully and cum spurt from his tip,,,, being in a chokehold by ur thick arms while being fucked from behind against a hallway of the campus or in the very back of a library, classroom.. in a dark corner where no one can exactly see nor make out that he's riding you while you pinch his nipples under his shirt while biting at his neck harshly - reprimanding him about being quiet and that he's a fucking pussy and not at all a badass that he thinks he is - an exhibitionist of sorts.. ultimately going through all of your physical features, trying to rile you up,,, that gets him no where. you were confident in yourself. tch… your friends maybe? you seem the chivalrous type? no, nothing.. they're all idiots who can hold their own.

then he finally makes it to your car. your prized possession, with your own money. that is your baby. he scratches it up with his loser little switchblade, something small but still noticeable to the owner rather than a mere passerby.. he was leaning against it all coolly, waiting for you while popping the blade in and out of place - that, is when you lose your mind,, realistically, it'll buff right out, but still! that's your car! literally, just what is this guy's deal???! you think it's a little too far, but you leave him bloodied and battered, heaving over him; eyes glazing over the bulge in his admittedly tight black jeans. “jeez bro, i'm so sorry,,, ur gonna be okay, alright??? im so sorry,,” you'd meekly squeak, repeating almost tearful apologies, losing urself in ur rather gentle rage. your hands roaming over his face and fingertips shakily grazing his bloodied nose,,, before telling him you'll help him out, dragging him into the passenger seat of your car;; offering him a ride home or maybe to simply fix him up.. he lets you - offering no words of disagreement nor displeasure, obviously,, i mean who else is gonna take care of his fucking boner??? you gave it to him, you have to make it go away, no?? Tis only fair..

[southparktexts]

hiii this is my first time requesting so im kinda scared and i hope im not doing anything wrong!! could you do headcannons with the main four going on a long road trip with a reader who drives? who do u think would be the passenger princess teehee. take care and take as much time as u need!!!

hii anon !! absolutely !! thank you for requesting !! <3 you didn’t do anything wrong !! im glad you requested <3

The Main 4 On Roadtrips w / Driver!Reader

stan ;

- as i said before i cant see him as a affectionate person.

- either the whole roadtrip is the two of you listening to music or talking.

- 50/50 on both parts

- the closest thing you’ll get to affection on your roadtrip is hand holding or thigh gripping while you drive

- i can see stan being a quiet yet calm type of boyfriend.

- his music taste is probably a lot of old 2020 songs

- he doesn’t backseat road rage a lot suprisingly

- checking up on you from time to time as well.

“babe, how you doing? alright?”

“you want me to drive?”

- i can say though he is the most unorganised person ever.

- he didn’t pack snacks or water..

- also gets distracted a lot, especially if its dark.

- will randomly ask you to pull over to gaze at the stars with you.

- or fuck.

- will randomly smoke a blunt, i don’t know.

- also will randomly change his playlist to sad songs

-.. and emo??

- feeds you snacks when you buy some

kyle ;

- i know damn well he is annoying to drive with.. no offense..

- but also very caring as well!

- you both fight for aux though..

“im playing!”

“but your driving?!”

- you guys end up making a playlist mid roadtrip..

“oh add ___ as well”

“fine..”

- he is the most organised person out of them.

- constantly does check up on the bags to make sure he didnt forget anything.

- HUGE road rager…

- not surprising.

- most of the roadtrip is wholesome talking.

- sentimental talks and talks about life.

- checks up on you constantly.

“are you getting tired?”

“i can drive if you want..”

- very affectionate, although your driving.

- gripping onto your thigh, kissing you at every red light, saying i love yous

- a very affectionate sweetheart

- his music taste is bo burnham.

kenny ;

- HE is the passenger princess but he isn’t the only princess.

- loves when you drive, he can get cooked while you drive.

- i can see him getting so fucking cooked, saying the randomest shit

“i love nascar drivers!!”

“..okay??”

- he packed snacks.. but he ate them all when the munchies kicked in.

- thigh gripping from him as well as whispering dirty things to you.

- probably tries to get you riled up to fuck in the car.

- definitely loves it when you buy things for him

- stopping by drive thru and ordering him food like a princess

- most of the car ride is a mix between is singing along to music or talking

- 50/50 yet again

- im a huge believer that kenny is an juggalo.

- music taste is def pink guy and icp

- blasting music and rolling down the windows like idiots

- definitely tried getting you high as well

“ken im driving!”

“and??”

cartman ;

- HE is the passenger princess as well 😭

- i say this because he can’t stay well in one spot unless he’s given something..

- im being fr.

- will whine and complain a lot

“im hungryyy”

“im boreddd”

- he is definitely on aux

- only because he can do something which is controlling music

- the WHOLE roadtrip is karaoke. full stop.

- playing old school bangers and singing along.

- definitely on his phone playing games as he vibes with you.

- he (un)ironically ate all the snacks..

“can you get me a chip?”

“..were out.”

“HOW THE FUCK ARE WE OUT I PACKED 3 BAGS??”

- not very affectionate when it comes to you in my opinion.

- will whine until you pull into mcdonald’s and order him food.

- and snacks.

- acts like a brat when he doesn’t get what he wants

- …. doesn’t check up on you, he lowkey forgets too.

reqs are open !!

[lunas-side-anime-blog]

aot veteran/104 corp icks bc im back on my bullshit

someone requested AOT veteran icks, they didn't specify nsfw or not so I did both and also added sasha connie and jean bc i luv them:) feel free to message/inbox with requests!

(levi, erwin, hange, jean, sasha and connie)

Levi

will visit ur place and organize things without you asking. he'd just be like "ur welcome, now your kitchen makes sense" and ur like sir, I don't know where anything is now??? also he'd def the type to proclaim he's better than you for only getting two hours of sleep when you got four. honestly so many icks come to mind for this one, imma limit it to those two for now (stay tuned lol)

nsfw: tries to be rough with you but forgets his own strength. will try to throw you on the bed, but he does it too hard so you completely miss the bed and fall on the other side of it and he's just standing there like "🧍🏻...my bad."

Erwin

you cannot convince me this man doesn't wear water shoes at the pool. you guys say you want a dilf until you actually get one bc this is the type of shit it entails^^

nsfw: erwin cannot dirty talk for shit. im srry but if you're a lil kinky this isn't the man for you. try to call him daddy and he'd be like "we don't have kids?" and you explain the kink to him and he'd just say, "have you considered therapy?🤨" now he's concerned, boner gone, you feel called out, just go to sleep tbh

Hange

they're def a firm believer in natural deodorant and won't take the graceful hints that it's not working. prob wouldn't chill w them on a hot day is all i'm saying

nsfw: feel like they'd be really good in bed tbh like i'm struggling to think of an ick. hange has big dick energy, weirdos just do it better idk. i think maybe hange would try to spit in your mouth (they a freak) and they have so much and its thick and globby like the back of the throat type spit, your gonna choke bro im gagging as a i type-

Jean

bring back toxic masculinity because Jean's hair care routine is so good to the point he'll call out your split ends, i just know it

nsfw: a fucking chatterbox like his homies know everything. you've walked in on him telling connie in extreme detail how he had you in a full nelson last night while you screamed bloody murder and he doesn't see why ur mad. "babe, if anything i'm bragging about you 😏" fucking idiot istg. also kinda gross but I think he's the type to keep sniffing his fingers after fingering you like well into the next day EWW

Sasha

obvi she can't share for shit so I think she'd be an annoying person to eat out with. like yk when you're with your friends and only one person puts their card down so the rest can Venmo them? I think you can ask her to Venmo 20 and she'd send 15 and say something like "oh I didn't eat as many fries" but she fr did. never puts her card down either so believe it or not? jail.

nsfw: will literally be on her phone mid-sex with you. feel like she'd be really into the subway surfer vids and yeah, you go down on her and look up and she brought her own entertainment? ipad child behavior

Connie

i think he'd say "we" when talking about his fave sports team as if he contributed. like, "really connie, you helped win the superbowl? did you score a touchdown?" grow tf up

nsfw: insane bush on this one, i feel like he doesn't groom for shit and whatever, that's your choice! but I also feel like college-aged modern connie would talk shit about women who weren't bald down there and won't eat it unless it is. HYPOCRITE!! I think when he gets to his mid-twenties tho he'd mature (sasha beat his ass)

[whyse7vn]

KAWAII -

[ ot7 x reader ]

SLUT CENTRAL 🤮

———————————

8 participants - 8 online

jin: so i just raised a slut like???

namjoon: ??

y/n: RIGHT ITS INSANE

jk: ur a father?

tae: where the sluts at lol

yoongi: honestly i could throw up

jimin: if i raised jungkook i would not be taking credit for that shit just saying

hobi: you raised me up

jk: i’m the slut? ☹️

jin: YES YOU ARE WHY

ARE YOU HALF NAKED ON WEVERSE

WHAT IS UR ISSUE???

jk: jimin did it first

jimin: UMM EXUSE ME????

IT WAS FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY MIGHT I ADD

DONT DRAG ME INTO UR MESS

hobi: wasn’t namjoon half naked the other day too?

namjoon: this isn’t about me

y/n: whores the lot of you!

tae: namjoon the biggest whore

namjoon: again this isn’t about me

tae: ok mr automatic dick

hobi: who was the automatic bitch?

y/n: what does that even mean

namjoon: yoongi was the one talking about his tongue technology

yoongi: ??????

leave me alone wtf

tae: ur all nasty

hobi: be honest are you a virgin

tae: ME????

ARE YOU SILLY LOOK AT ME

hobi: looking

i see a virgin

tae: if anyone is a virgin it’s jin

jin: okay wtf not true at all

jimin: he’s lived for like 79 years there’s no way he’s a virgin lmao

y/n: i mean think about that one photo

with the comdoms in the back

jin BEEN fucking!!

hobi: #kingsize

jin: i mean what can i say

jimin: you picked up the wrong size?

jin: kill yourself?

namjoon: could we not talk about the size of jin’s dick please and thank you

tae: right pls stop guy me and namjoon are getting turned on

jk: it’s ok me 3

jin: what

y/n: what

namjoon: what????

yoongi: strangling jungkook gotta feel better than opiates i just know it in my heart

jimin: retweet

tae: bro said retweet 😭😭😭😭

his ass is NOT on twitter 🤣🤣

y/n: you are so unfunny it makes me want to punch things

tae: i’m so into that

y/n: burn

tae: ummmm?

y/n: alive

tae: don’t hate me cuz you want to passionately kiss me on the mouth

y/n: would rather get shot 450 times

tae: fuck you never speak to me again

y/n: finally

tae: guys i miss her 😕💔

WRONG CHAT

WRONG CHAT FUCK YOU BYE

hobi: wow

jk: guys let’s start using tone indicators!

yoongi: ur ugly /srs

jk: ok nvm!

jimin: and she said she said she’s from hawaii /srs

namjoon: …

hobi: do you know how to say cute in japanese? /srs

jk: i do i do i do

namjoon: please stop

tae: did someone say japan lol???

jin: when you said bye i had hope you would be gone for more that 2 seconds

y/n: he said japanese

jimin: idiot

tae: they call me senpai down under

yoongi: ?

jk: in australia??

tae: tf is an australia??

yoongi: what the actual fuck is wrong with you?

tae: did you mean astronaut?

jk: maybe…

y/n: you didn’t

jk: i didn’t

hobi: naur

jin: pls don’t do this again

hobi: naur i have to mate

tae: somone call me senpai rn see what happens

y/n: no

jin: is he’s gonna do something weird?

i feel like he’s gonna do something weird

pls don’t do something weird

jk: let’s find out!!!

namjoon: let’s not!

jk: senpai~

tae: nnnuugghhhhhhhhh 😫

jin: told u

tae: what’s up baby 😉

yoongi removed tae from “SLUT CENTRAL 🤮”

jimin: i HATE jungkook

jk: /srs ?

jimin: /srs

jk: FUCK

hobi: personally if i was to ever get hit by a car i would just get up and walk away

like thats so embarrassing

am i a pussy?

absolutely NOT

jk: hobi btw i do know how to say cute in japanese

namjoon: what if your legs were badly hurt?

hobi: namjoon idk about YOU but hoseok is definitely gonna walk it off

namjoon: why are you talking in 3rd person?

jk: do you want to know how to say cute in japanese??

i can tell you

yoongi: no

jk: k y ee

y/n: oh my god

yoongi removed jk from “SLUT CENTRAL 🤮”

jimin: did he just say that

like fr

k y ee?

as in kawaii

im not hallucinating right

jin: unfortunately not

hobi: i need a car

it’s time to hit a couple people

yoongi: talking to them kills me inside

jin: i’m here for u yoongi

yoongi: and you

jin: hobi make sure you hit him too

jin added tae to “SLUT CENTRAL 🤮”

jin added jk to “SLUT CENTRAL 🤮”

jin: karma

tae: sometimes i call the number on missing dog posters and just bark

jk: hi guys i’m back thx for adding me back jin hi guys i’m back did you miss me cuz i’m back now so it’s ok

namjoon: you bark?

tae: so they think it’s their dog trying to contact them

but it’s not

cuz it’s me

jimin: why would they think it’s their dog?

how tf a dog gonna use a phone

tae: dogs don’t normally use phones?

guess yeontan just built different 🤷🏻‍♂️

i mean what do you expect from a son of mine

hobi: he’s built different cuz you don’t feed him

y/n: LAMSOSOKSKD THAT IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL YOU CANT SAY THAT OH MY GODJDJDJDJJFJFN

jimin: HELP THATS CRAZY

yoongi: wow

namjoon: guys please

jin: INSANE HOSEOK INSANE

tae: ok that was not funny at all

i look after him

really well actually

..

i swear

i feed him

i do

jk: i believe you tae

tae: you do? 🥺

jk: yeah

tae: thanks jungkook i love you

jk: ok

tae: ok?

jk: ok?

tae: okay

jk: okay

tae: fucking whore whose the other woman then??

jk: guys help i’m really scared rn

jimin: omg speaking of that fucking mutt

tae: MUTT???

jimin: bro has NO stage presence at ALL

expressions lame as hell and all he did was run around trying to get camera time he looked a fool

hobi: dozen core

y/n: was his first performance pls don’t make fun of him he’s trying his best :(((

jimin: his best wasn’t good enough

tae: HE WORKED VERY HARD FOR THAT STAGE

jimin: it did not show

jk: bam could of done it better

yoongi: would of shit on stage

jimin: still would of been better than whatever yeontan was doing

tae: can you leave him alone omg

he was nervous

jimin: i’ll cook him

hobi: do you know how to say cute in japanese?

jk: yes

i do

namjoon: stop

jk: i can give you a hint if you don’t know namjoon

namjoon: jungkook please don’t talk to me

jimin: he’s losing it guys

y/n: lowkey hot

i love a man on the edge

tae: just say ur a slut

y/n: ??

yoongi: tae shut the fuck up

jimin: that so screams i have never felt the touch of a woman before

tae: how tf u think i made yeontan?

jk: you fucked a dog??????

tae: wait no wtf

jk: oh MH GOD GUYS TAE FUCKED A DOG

that’s illegal

i hope

OHMY GOD CALL TBE POLICE

hobi: that’s gross i’m gonna throw up

tae: THATS NOT TRUE HES LYING I DIDNT STOP PLS

jin: where is namjoon when you need him change the the subject i’m begging you

namjoon: i think i'm having a psychotic break rn

y/n: holds you and whispers it's gonna be okay

jimin: kill your neighbor kill your neighbor kill your neighbor

tae: GUYSBPLS BELIEVE ME

IM CRYING

SOBBING PLS

IM GONNA THROW UP EVERYWHERE

IVE HAD SEX

WITH A WOMAN BEFORE NEVER A DOG

PLS IM TELLINV THE TRUTH PLS

GIYS

PLS HWLLO

GIUSYSSSJSJJDD

PLEASE

y/n: can’t wait for the day it’s gc gets leaked

we will all be locked up

jimin: severing 10 years not even that bad if you think about it

yoongi: tae severing at least 25

tae: NOT TRUE

namjoon serving life

little drug abuser

y/n: be fr the worst drug joon has done is take 4 paracetamols at one time

jk: 4?????

WOW JOON U CRAZY

namjoon: no

hobi: caught namjoon sipping lean on august 13th 2023 10:45 pm

namjoon: no you didn’t

hobi: u right i didn’t

sorry guys i like to lie

jin: that’s a problem actually

hobi: i’m working on it

tae: work harder

jimin: tell ur dog that

tae: CAN YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE

yoongi: can you come over

tae: yeah

yoongi: wrong chat mb

and why tf would i be taking to you

tae: i’m gonna shoot myself

jin: who you inviting over yoongi omg 🙈

should i bring you a nda??

jk: nine dead animals?

y/n: no jungkook

jk: oh

namjoon: breathe in breathe out

jk: personally i’m worried if i give good head or not because no one has ever willingly asked me to give them head so is my head that bad you don’t even want me to try

jin: invest in a diary pls

jk: cant i’m lacktoes intolerant :(

jimin: lactose?

y/n: and the way thats not even true

hobi: the head or the lactose part?

tae: trust me bro ur head crazy good

jk: fr?

tae: fr

it’s so good girls afraid to ask

jk: girls?

tae: boys?

jk: boys???

tae: people????

jk: what people??

tae: you have like people ur fucking right?

jk: no?

tae: what?

jk: no people

jimin: are you expecting a rando to just to ask you to given them head?

jk: no?

jin: i’m so confused

jk: y/n

y/n: yes?

yoongi: no

y/n: ?

namjoon: moving on

hobi: you think tae’s dog can learn black swan?

tae: he has a name yk?

hobi: say my name say my name

jk: jung hoseok

hobi: thx

jk: yes

k y ee

namjoon left “yeontan ugly”

tae: THE GC NAME??????

WHO DID THAT

y/n: poor joonie see what you guys do to him?

jimin: bet he’s gone to see his automatic bitch

hobi: robot sex

yoongi: what??

hobi: cyber sex doja cat

jin: illuminati

jk: when did he become poor thats so sad i’m here for him if he ever needs ¥

yoongi: why would he need yen?

jk: who is yen?

tae: NO IM SO FR WHO CHANGED THE GC NAME TO THAT

ITS NOT TRUE BTW

MY BABY TAKES AFTER ME

jimin: oh no i’m praying for him ❤️

tae: IT WAS U WASNT IT

ALWAYS KNEW U WERE A JELOUS LOSER

jk: guys ur not being very k y ee rn

yoongi: i’m going to skin you alive

[quodekash]

yeah so im gonna make my silly little commentary posts for we are sometimes but not all the time

he stared at his friend's water and started smiling like a fucking idiot 💀

h2o just makes him giddy like that 🥰

also I genuinely fucking adore Pham and Fang's dynamic, they care about each other so much (I might cry)

I JSUT FUCKING LOVE HIM SO MUCH CAN YOU BLAME ME

im sorry, i cant get over the fact that q fuCKING SANG SOUND’S SONG FROM MSP IN THE THIRD FUCKING EPISODE OF THE SHOW

HES JUST SO SMOL I FUCKING ADORE HIM SO MUCH DUDE

here to pick up his twink

HES JUST SO SMOL THO LIKE CAN YOU BLAME ME???

I JUST WANNA RUFFLE HIS HAIR AND PINCH HIS CHEEKS HES SO FUCKING ADORABLE

i think i just really love satang cos during msp every time sound was on screen i lost my shit and now every time toey is on screen i lose my shit

btw i fully had to rewatch that entire scene, i was entirely focusing on satang’s little adorable fuckin face that i forgot to read and process the dialogue lmao

his expression is like “did you bring me here to do your chores, or are you gonna be honest and just say you want to makeout"

the real answer is just that he wants to spend time with him btu doesnt know how to do that normally 💀

(and also that he wants to make out with him)

WHY IS EVERYONE SO FUCKING SMOL TODAY

HES TINY

HES THIS BIG 🤏

OML IT HAPPENED FOR LESS THAN HALF A SECOND BUT I PAUSED IT AT THE EXACT PERFECT MOMENT

I genuinely adore accidental kiss tropes in bls, its just so unrealistic its fucking amazing

[insert image of phum's friends walking in here (I had to delete some of my screenshots because I can only do 30 and I dont want to do more than one post for this)]

AND THEN HIS FRIENDS WALK IN, CLASSIC

it's so awkward and I am LIVING for it

people in bls always walk in at the WORST possible moments and its AMAZING

THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS SO RIDICULOUSLY FUNNY TO ME

phuwin’s character trying to cook is so me

and also my sister, one time she was making spaghetti bolognese for us for dinner and she put way too much salt, and then to attempt to solve the problem, she put water into the pan to "evaporate the salt" 💀

the best part is I didnt even realise why that wouldnt work until my brother started laughing

anyway, back to the ep

WHAT DRUGS ARE IN THIS EPISODE TO MAKE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CHARACTER SO BABYGIRL

THEYRE ALL SO SMOL AND ADORABLE AND BBG WHAT IS GOING ON

HES SO TINY

Youre fucking KIDDING

IM SO SUDDENLY INVESTED IN THIS MAIN COUPLE

THAT WAS SUCH A SUDDEN SWITCH BRO

literally last week I was like "yeah okay I like it" and then suddenly im on the verge of tears when they make physical contact???

[insert image of pun eating]

PUN !

MY LITTLE GUY

I ADORE THEMMMMM

oh fuck yes I love this friendship already and it just started

AND CHAIN'S GETTING JEALOUSSSSS FUCK YEAH

they look like tired dads fr

is phuwin just fuckin short or is pond like 3 metres tall cos holy shit

LOOK AT HIM

SMOL BITCHES

EVERYONE'S FUCKING TINY TODAY

woah he really just went for it there

HOLY FUCK HE SAID YES

TAN IS LOSING IT HES SO HAPPY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

great frame

[insert that entire scene with the jump onto him and the holding hands and the FUCKING CHEEK KISS]

HES MY LITTLE FUCKING GUY

HES SO NEURODIVERGENT AND I ADORE HIM

KICKING AND SCREAMING MY FEET RN

he's jealoussssssss

I love pun so much, I truly would die for him

Welcome back to another episode of Toey Thinks Peem And Phum Are Dating (And He’s Right)

Im gonna be completely honest, if pond looked at me like that, id probably do whatever he tells me to without a second thought

thats all im saying

LOOK AT THAT LITTLE FACE

HES SINGING THE FUCKING ABAAB SONG

IM CRYING DUDE THIS IS AMAZING

ARE THEY JUST GONNA SING SONGS FROM OTHER BLS FOR THE QHOLE SERIES? IM FUCKIN DOWN FOR THAT DUDE

this song is so out of winny’s range tho 💀

so fucking SMOL

also chains hand just always naturally rests on pun’s shoulder

literally all the time

what im saying here is I think they should kiss

HE DIDNT JUST GRAB HIS WRIST HERE HE GRABBED HIS HAND ERIJKGBNREJB HOLY SHIT

Cool! 👍

im glad they finally got there

FUCK YES NEXT EPISODE WE'RE GETTING THE SCENE FROM THE PILOT THAT MADE ME LOSE MY SHIT

PUNCHAIN FOREHEAD KISS AND QTOEY CHEEK KISS BITCHES

okay now I just have one final question before I take my leave: what the FUCK was the song playing in the background of the qtoey scene near the end of the episode

it was just electric guitar and I KNOW recognise it but I cant figure out what fucking song it was (literally I finished the episode at like 1:30 but didnt go to sleep til 3 because I was trying to find the song)

so please, if ANYONE recognises it and knows what it is, tell me as soon as you can cos Im fucking dying

update: a moot is pretty sure the song played over other qtoey scenes earlier in the show (the same way msp did with noelm) so now im fuckin PSYCHED for the new song that’s gonna come out eventually

[broken-glass-puppet]

Helloooooooooooo, how are you doing today? (Btw love your blog ^^ It's amazing!)

Saw that you write about South Park and just really wanted to request 👏👏👏

How about the main four with a taller male reader who looks intimidating (and attractive), but is actually nice? But tho he can fight and ain't afraid to throw hands. He is a sporty guy who is into boxing. He is affectionate and caring, and he has a grunge style. ^^ (romantic)

Hope It's not too much!  😭

OMG YES, also thanks for the compliments, i appreciate it a lot

Im to lazy to write about separate

Headcanons

Kenny: orange

Stan:blue

Kyle: green

Eric:red

The main four

(TW: violence, mentioned sex, blood, homophobia)

Let's say they didn't like you too much at first, I mean yeah you look fine and you turn Heads when you walk but you look like a bully

Well that changed when you were in class, at some point Stan was having problems understanding the work so you asked if you could help him out

"find the x? The fuck? Is right there" "hey dude, you need help ?" You said in a sweet tone of voice, leaning in to see his eyes "...y-yeah sure"

The mother fucker wouldn't stop thinking about you the rest of school

"what's your problem dude, are you gay or some shit?" "You are gay too, c'mon we all know how you check out his butt during PE" "THAT'S NOT FUCKING TRUE!"

Well the most normal two are Kyle and Stan, they do get nervous and all but hey you are nice

Cartman is well...

"i identify as a horse now guys" "wtf Cartman, that's not how it works" "yo guys what are you talking about?" "Cartman identify as a horse" "what?" "Stupid right" "then I just have something to say" you took a moment "yehaw!" Hehe joke

The three are like: 🧍‍♂️

And Cartman is like: 🚶

So yeah a lots of flirting, specially with Kenny

He's the most obvious, he doesn't even try to hide it

And damn you are muscular, no you don't look like a Jojo but you have abs, a little waist and strong arms

"why you as a man have such a little waist? For us men to grab? Are you gay?" "And you as a man why do you have a mouth? To suck dick? Whore" "ew guys, go to a motel or something "

And after some days you start to get a long with them very well

You help them out when they need and you hang out with them a lot but at some point they development a crush on you

Let's say, they fell first and you fell harder

And the moment you started dating them was funny

Some idiot was making fun of Kenny and he was like "okay idgaf"

But you where super angry

"hey, stop bullying my boyfriend or else" "ow what are you going to do huh? You are just a fag, I'm Soo scared" "oh you want to see?" "Of course" and the moment after the idiot in question fell onto the floor with a bloody nose and one his friends punch you in the face leaving you with wounds but you managed to beat him up "who's the next one" silent "i figured out, c'mon Kenny, let's go"

When you get to your home, Kenny called the others and they came super fast

"WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING" yelled Kyle while healing your wounds "i don't know they just...maked me fell angry...and they were insulting Kenny and..." "Y/n i don't give a shit about what were they saying" "i know but...i don't want nobody to hurt you, or you four for that matter" "you called me your boyfriend" "i did?" "Yeah, and I don't mind it, I'm okay but I'm going to be your boyfriend fr" "heh okay " "..." "We all can be boyfriends?" "I'm not gay" "you are" "just for y/n" "then we are boyfriends"

It's a strange relationship, nothing changed to much, you still have that relationship like bros but the physical touch increase a lot, holding hands with them or just little pecks on the check

Kenny is more flirty, grabbing your butt and saying that he didn't do anything or just shoving his head onto your chest and mumbling how he loves your man boobs

And we'll yeah, Cartman is less of a dick but he sure loves you in a strange way

And Stan and Kyle they love you so much

Kenny's parents hate you, they are super homophobic (i hate his parents omg) so when he introduced you to them, they yelled at him, you just looked at them with a death glear and walked away from them

Cuddles ALL.THE.TIME GOD

[archangeldyke-all]

(I honestly don’t know if my asks are getting in atp but im just gonna keep resending them if they get removed because I’m not a fucking wimp 🗣️‼️‼️)

______

Wait no because what if Sevika had a group chat with her coworkers and shit (Smeech, Ran, Renni, Silco, Finn, Signed, Dustin and ofc her lovely gf <3)

And at least once every two weeks there is ALWAYSSS chaos

Like; Sev and Finn could be arguing and then Ran pulls up with the fucking Curse of Ra 💀or Renni just uses the gc as a shopping list since she forgot to open notes and everyone is just like “Ren, wrong app 💀” or someone points out shit from her list HSHJERJD

PLEASE i'm gonna do the roach 'verse gang, because i think it would be insane.

men and minors dni

silco: if any of u have spare cash on u, bring it to my office and leave it on my desk. i'll pay u back tomorrow.

you: jinx, get off of silco's phone.

lock: fuck, that was jinx? i put ten on his desk!

sevika: idiot.

ran: LMAOOOO IDIOT

thieriam: shit, i put twenty bucks on his desk too.

you: jinx! how much fucking money did you steal?!

deckard: she got me too, that fucker.

ran: you are all so fucking stupid.

singed: just checked the office, the cash and jinx are nowhere to be found.

deckard: fuck!

lock: fuck

thieriam: oh fuck, silco's never gonna pay us back.

silco: no, i'm not. you should all know better by now. i would never use 'u' to type 'you'

ran: this is fucking hilarious

sevika: babe, what's for dinner?

you: you, if i'm lucky ;)

deckard: HELLO?? this is the gc??

sevika: stfu deckard.

ran: no but fr, what's for dinner, roach?

you: idk, i'm thinking chicken chili?

lock: ooooh, with cornbread?

you: sure, if you guys want.

lock: yes please!

ran: yes!!!

deckard: oh, yum.

singed: fuck, roach are you free?

you: yeah?

singed: i just sliced my hand open. can you come stitch me up?

you: lmao, i'm on the way.

ran: roach to the rescue!

sevika: put a heart in the chat if i'm the stupidest one in the gang.

deckard: <3

thieriam: <3

ran: LMAOO <3333333

you: <3

you: jinx, give sevika her phone back.

sevika: i'm gonna kill her someday.

sevika: babe, you put a fucking heart in the chat????

you: cant talk, stitching singed up.

silco: i'm sorry for jinx's behavior today. she's upset that she doesn't have her own phone yet.

lock: it's no fuckin fair! u guys get to talk all the time and i have to steal a phone to be in on the chat!

silco: jinx!

you: lmaoo jinx you can come play on my phone.

lock: fine.

lock: shit, i didn't even notice she took it until she gave it back.

sevika: she's a fuckin' weasel.

you: whats up assholes?

ran: hey jinx. what'd you buy with your stolen money?

you: more flamers. a few candy bars. a new jumbo plushy.

lock: you wanna share your candy?

you: no.

silco: jinx, at least share with the man you stole from.

you: ugh fine. they're in the kitchen lock.

lock: sweet!

thieriam: some of us are trying to work, can we please not abuse the work groupchat for not-work purposes

you: put a heart in the chat if thieriam sucks ass!

sevika: <3

ran: <3

deckard: <3

silco: jinx, what did i tell you about that kind of language?

you: i'm not jinx i'm roach.

thieriam: fuck off jinx, roach would never be so mean to me.

lock: <3

you: effective. Power. لُلُصّبُلُلصّبُررً h  ॣ ॣ ॣ

across from where you're finishing up singed's stitches, deckard gasps down at his phone.

"you fuck!" he exclaims, looking up at jinx where she's sitting beside you. she giggles.

"what'd you do this time?" you ask. she laughs and hands you back your phone, before running out of the lab.

"she shut all our phones down!" he says. "how the fuck did she do that?" he cries.

upstairs, you hear ran and lock's shared groan.

you chuckle and shake your head. "jinx you stupid fuck!" sevika roars from the second floor. you giggle.

"i better go handle that." you say, finishing your final stitch. singed chuckles.

"you better." he says as jinx's squeal floats down to the lab.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

[princessg3rard]

I’m sorry that some idiots decided to declare you a bad Jew and harass you. They fucking imprinted on this “genocide” and are trying to feel self-important when in reality they probably haven’t done a single worthwhile thing to help the people they pretend to be fighting for

thank u anon this… this really means a lot. I’ve never had to deal with antisemitism before mentioning my judaism and nationality, so it was all new to me at first. i knew everyone hates israel and everyone from here, I’ve been online long enough for that, but I honestly didn’t think anyone cared enough to actually take that out on me.

im literally just some guy on the internet who happens to be israeli and jewish, but apparently that does warrant me getting harassed and threatened in their eyes.

this whole game of good jew bad jew is getting on my last fucking nerve fr. people live to hate us, they always had, but now they need a token few to claim they’re not antisemitic, so they pick and choose which of us they care to listen to. and when we get too mouthy they just label us bad jews.

fuck man (gn), I just wish existing wasn’t political for like a day or two. even a week if I dare. just… I don’t want to keep fighting to stay alive, for people to think I deserve to stay alive. I love living, and I love that I get to spend my life in my ancestral homeland, but boy is tough to keep defending my rights to do so.

[just-some-random-blogger]

idc idc here are my reactions to the new trailerssssss via (really long) shitpost RAAHHHHHHHH

*also i took the liberty and tagged some people in some parts lmao*

starting with the black trailer cos duhh i wanna see daemon lmao

starting off strong w caraxes (this is caraxes right?? 😭😭😭) honestly he ate that up. he like me fr. him screaming is how i reacted to his dad 😋

this shot is stunning. looking into the fire. the ominous sounds. (side note the fucking audio dialogue crunch wtf was that editing hbo??? the noise that harshly faded after she spoke ???????? AHHAHAH i can't blame you my audio be like that too)

HAHAHHAAAH HIS LIL SPIN HAS ME GAGGED HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HES SUCH A LIL BOY @azperja UR BOY IS WILDING HAHHAAHAHAH LMAOOOOOOOO

im a simple girl i see daemon i screech @em-writes-stuff-sometimes ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IS THIS CREGAN STARK ASFLJKHASFLKHASFLHASFH👹👹👹👹 NEXT TO BABY GIRL JACAERYS STRONG LOOK AT HIS BABY GIRL LIPS IDK @valeskafics THIS LOOKS LIKE IT CAME OUT ONE OF YOUR FICS?????? AM I ABOUT TO MAKE A JACE FIC????? HELPPPP

gWAYNEEE?????? HIGHTOWER????????????? RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH WITH HIS SLUTTY LIL BUSTED LIP?????????????? why are you in the blacks trailer tho?????????? who did you fuck up??? who fucked you up???????? omG IF YOU AND DADDY DAEMON FIGHT 🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦

CUNT-C-CUNT-C-CUNT-CUNT. he is swag. he is emo. he is killing all the aemond girlies. @ewanmitchellcrumbs i have nothing to say to you other than hi how ya doin

and im a very simple girl 😋😋😋😋

i dont like the mourning girls ))): LEAVE MY GIRLS ALONE ☹

i would bend the knee to you daddy REEEEEEEEEEEEEE @em-writes-stuff-sometimes SHOULDER SHOT IN LIEU OF A CROTCH SHOT??????????????????

her dialogue 😫😫😫 ate. as it remains rhaenys is the only one with the braincell in this psycho barbie house and we love her for that

CUNT-C-CUNT-C-CUNT-CUNT. SHE SERVED SO HARD FUCKKKKK

now the green trailer

MY SAD GIRL LEAVE HER ALONE. congrats on having (one of) your oppressor(s) die tho (: it must be mentally tolling ):

[in response to alicent's dialogue] ok but you also knew viserys was delulu to the core????? he did the whole horse analogy to defend rhaenyra which was INSANE. 😔 its kinda sad you believe that in his dying breath he wanted to reconcile with you but even then he didnt give a fuck 💔💔💔💔💔 sorry alicent

ok but .... 👀👀👀👀👀👀 otto lookin kinda scruptious !!! @ewanmitchellcrumbs WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME??!?!?! tbh no regrets 😋😋 more food for me

I KNOW I ALREADY REACTED TO THIS BUT HAHAHAHAHA ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY HES SO UNSERIOUS WITH THE TWIRL. AND THE CAPTION IS PERFECT WAHAHAH VISERYS ROLLIN IN HIS GRAVE TO KNOW THIS IDIOT SUCEEDED HIM AND HONESTLY AEGON ATE WITH THAT. THE ULTIMATE REVENGE 😫😫😫 SERVE KING GIVE US NOTHING AND GIVE US CUNT ALL AT ONCE HAHAHHAHA @azperja AHHAH WALA LANG TAG LANG KITA ULIT HAHHAH

@em-writes-stuff-sometimes no but the SHOULDER SHOT IM BEING SO SERIOUS RN ITS SOOO RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

hes salty because daemon and him are fighting again 😔💔 ASLKFHASF NO BUT WHY HE LOOK SO MAD???🤨🤨 HAHAHHAHHAH (ok fine fine hes mad because theyre about to go to war. id be mad too)

I DONT KNOW im taking a wild guess here. . . is this alys? ........... ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? idk idk i dont know enough about asoiaf to be guessing tbh

hes so dramatic. arent you the same man that begged your younger brother to let you flee and be rid of this burden? smh. had the crowds screaming your name once and now you think ur a rockstar. its ok ur @azperja's rockstar 😋

this line has me gagged 😭😭🤣🤣 GO KING. GO FUCK UP YOUR FAM AND THE REST OF THE SEVEN REALMS AS CASUALTY. i cant take him seriously. i cant 💀💀💀 YOURE THE GUY THAT JERKED OFF BY THE WINDOW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 CRYINGGGGGGGGGGG and the fact this scene is directly followed by him showcasing his mommy issues 😔 poor pathetic meowmeow

STOPPP 💀💀💀💀✋✋✋✋✋ I CANT TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY EITHER. HE SAW DAEMON CHOP UP VAEMONDS HEAD AND HAS BEEN HORNY EVER SINCE.

oh wait fuck i forgot he killed lucerys 💀💀💀💀💀😬😬😬😬 asfhlashfhsafhasf wAIT HE KNOWS DAEMON IS COMING FOR HIM WAIT LASFHHASFHASFFASOHASF WAITTT IT JUST CLICKED HES SCARED FUCK FUCK FUCK

hes so fucking hot what the fuck @ewanmitchellcrumbs i get why you dedicated an entire blog for this man. felt. BUT WHY WAR? LEMME BRAID UR HAIR INSTEAD???????? STOBIT

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 STOP HURTING ALICENT WHAT THE FUCK STOP IT

IDK WHO SHE IS BUT SHE ATE. IS THAT A STAG I SEE ARE YOU A BARATHEON SLAYYYYYYY..... is she a she or is he a he i... i cant tell. either way v pretty v intrigued

?????????????????????????? WHY HE LOOK YASSIFIED IN THIS 💀💀💀 sOBBING

i HATE the fact they cut his hair. cole is now 10x more unbearable what the fuck. JUSTICE FOR FABIEN he had such pretty hair

❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ men that crave war are the scabs of society

HONESTLY HOW IS VHAGAR (this is vhagar right????) NOT RIPPING HER WINGS MORE WHEN SHE FLIES?????? THE HOLESSSSS ARE INSANEEEEEE

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 women

both of these trailers ending with their support for their preferred monarch is such a slay detail to add. THEY SHOULD RELEASE THE SHOW SOONER

[prettyboykatsuki]

fang,, don't feel pressured to answer this!! but how do you think th e blue lock men would react if u bought a mini plushie of them and referred to the plushie as ur guys son 😭😭 like

snapping isagi and rin the plushie posing to looking out the window and captioning it "he misses u. come home"

this is so cute im weeping

i think bachisagi are the most excited about it. kurona is on this list too actually. the sillies fr. they snap you back with their face blurry and a bunch of crying emojis like "NOO I MISS OUR SON. PAPA WILL BE HOME SOON" and it's very ridiculous of them. . bachira calls himself mama instead tho. dont ask.

itoshi bros have similar reactions. rin is SO lovestruck about it but it will not show thru text. he looks very bored when looking at it but he literally thinks he's going to have a heart attack. the one of the plush sitting on ur bed is fine but the one where it looks like ur holding the plush like a baby..INSTANT K.O. he texts back like "ur an idiot. go to sleep." then another text 3 minutes later. "be home soon."

sae is endeared openly and smiles at it for a bit before playing into ur silly little bit and going "kids shouldn't be up past 11. you and baby go to sleep." and ur on the other side simply Losing it.

chigiri is sooo giggly about it skjsds. he's so in love he thinks it's so cute. he also leans into the bit a little but he calls himself dad in the texts and its kind of. Sexy. sends a voice note of himself like chuckling and goes "dad will be home soon enough, promise. get some rest baby." to YOU. and it's like. instant k.o.

kunigami + barou are both very -_- about it. kunigamis only reply is "i'd want our son to look like you more than me." and barous bc he is a spoil sport is "why the fuck do you have that. and why is it so ugly. also brats shouldn't be up past 10 so both of you go to sleep."

nagis response is SO cute jhfsdhs, he sends a bunch of kaomojis and then goes "hows our other son? (choki)" and when you send a pic together he saves it in his phone and smiles looking at it. smiles mostly bc ur hand is in the background holding the plush up and he thinks its sooo lovely.

reos response is also v dramatic and over the top. just a bunch of crying emojis and going "we should buy our son some nice outfits and have a photoshoot" and being absolutely delighted by how much that makes u laugh. he is dead serious tho and is thinking about getting one of u for his travels.

karasu + oliver have very similar sarcastic ish replies about not knowing they were fathers but the play along with you anyways because it's cute. oliver specifically goes "don't need use our kid as excuse to wanna see me baby" and its soo annoying bc he's right.

otoya has a similar response about being a father but the sends u a semi-endearing paragraph about stepping up before saying its under the conditions he's still allowed to hit.

yukimiya is blushing up a STORM and saying it's important you get married if there's babies involved. hiori says something similar and says he should go and buy a house with his check.

[ivestas]

bro,,,your last ghost one,,,,head full, big thonks

what if hound!reader never went looking for simon because she thought he was dead?? or better yet, she DID look, so vigorously in fact that her superiors at the time maybe misinformed her of his death, even going as far as planting fake evidence??👁👁

also im thinking about old nicknames..,.,hitting him with the "si-guy" or "'mon-mon the man" or smth 💀

can’t say goodbye to yesterday

PART TWO TO ‘HEARTS ALIGNED’

Summary: You were deceived by the same people you fought for. You discuss it with Ghost. 

Tags: soldier!fem!reader (call sign “hound”) x ghost (2022 version), childhood friends, smoking, canon divergence of both the game and the oneshot, barely edited, death, lowkey konig x reader

Word count: 1.4k

Notes: anon, you're genuinely such a GENIUS!!!! those thonks fr are gold bc now my head is full of thonks too hehe---this post will hopefully extend those clever thonks and added more??? 

You were sitting against the wall while Ghost was laying in his cot. The night had grown old, but you refused to leave him—that won’t happen again, not now, not ever. 

You were on your third cigarette, the smoke having long since coated your mouth in a thick layer of cheap tobacco and newspaper. Ghost didn’t seem to mind, laying on his side, watching you with tired eyes—more so watching the cigarette. 

Extending it forward, your head tipped to the side. “You sure you don’t want one?” 

“No. I should be sleeping.” 

“You’re eyeing my cigarette though.”

“Just lost in thought.”

“About smoking a cigarette?” 

He huffed. “No. Just...” he sat up now, the cot straining under his movement. “You’ve changed. And you also haven’t—and you haven’t told me why you didn’t search for me.”

You frowned.

“Jus’ tell me that. Tell me why. I don’t give a bloody fuck if you were just too lazy too—”

“Smoke with me and I’ll tell you everything.” Your voice was strained. 

Emotions were high, tension was thick, maybe it was foolish to think that would just dissolve by planting yourself in his room. You weren’t kids. This wasn’t just a blow-up about something dumb, and you hated it. Because at least when you were kids, the arguments were insignificant, the worst that could happen is you calling him a ‘booger-brained idiot’. 

This was real. This brought true hurt.

You were thankful when Ghost finally nodded, getting up and sitting across you on the floor. Despite sitting criss-crossed, he was huge. He towered over you. König would often shimmy away, giving you a little space—he’d bend his body downward in a vain attempt to dwarf himself.

But Ghost sat tall. He stared right at you and lifted a hand. 

You gave him the cigarette. 

You watched as he lifted the balaclava a little, setting the end at the bridge of his nose. It was just a small sliver of his face, but fuck did it strike you right at your heart. 

His face was all firm lines—carved and rigid, with the lightest scar running along his lips. 

Simon—smaller, younger Simon—had a round face. Soft cheeks, a crooked smile, unscarred.

You looked away to the side at the hard concrete wall, back pressed against it. 

A waft of smoke hit you, then a finger lightly tapped on your hands. 

You turned. Ghost was lifting the cigarette to you. 

Taking it, you murmured a quick thanks before taking a puff out of it yourself. Ghost tugged down the balaclava once more. 

“Why didn’t you search for me?” 

“I did,” you responded simply. “It was when I was younger. Naive. More trusting. You know, I searched for you every moment I got—thought you still went by ‘Simon Riley’. Even went as far as to go to the superiors and ask all nicely—told them, ‘he’s the son of that piece of shit drunkard, the one who you constantly kissed up to.’” You laugh though it’s devoid of any humor.  

Ghost only watched, listened, eyes flicking between the cigarette and your straying gaze. 

“They—they told me you were dead. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. ‘Simon Riley was killed in action a few years back’ one of them had told me, all sad-like and frowning. ‘He was a good soldier.’” You scoffed. “No fanfare, no tricks, they just—they said you were dead. Showed me a document or two, I hardly fuckin’ remember, I just... I tried to forget. Not to care.”

Your hands were shaking. You didn’t know why. Your heart was silent, so was your mind, but your body—it was moving on its own. As though shedding a deeper feeling your own mind couldn’t process. 

“So can you imagine my surprise when, just a few months ago, a man named ‘Ghost’ happens to be registered as ‘Simon Riley’ in their files? I couldn’t believe it, thought there was another Simon Riley whose from the UK, but I was curious. So... yeah. I ended up in KorTac ‘cause I heard rumors 141 was gonna come along and do some mission together.” Again, you laughed. “Then I saw you—and fuck, did I tell you how much you’ve grown? You look so different—actually can I say something weird?” 

“Yeah.” His eyes met yours. 

An unfamiliar smile formed on your lips. “It... it makes me happy, seeing you with that Scot, all grown, and... it’s hard to put into words, but it makes me feel proud. And it also hurts like a bitch.”

He hummed. “Could say the same.” 

“Then say the same. I want to hear it, Simon.”

“It makes me feel proud, and it hurts like a bitch.” 

You snorted. “Ass.”

He reached for your cigarette. You handed it to him. “So... does that clear things?” 

“Yep,” he tugged his balaclava off this time, pushing the cigarette between his lips. He’s handsome. “Shoulda guessed you’re too much of a gullible dumbass to find me.” 

“You piece of—keep talking shit and I’ll kick your ass!” You reached for the cigarette. He moved away from your reach, a shit-eating grin now plastered on his face.

“You kickin’ my ass? I’d like to see you try, pipsqueak.” 

“Don’t test me mon-mon.” 

He glared. “Mon-mon?”  

“Sorry, wait, mon mon the man—my bad, nearly forgot the whole damn title.” 

“Keep callin’ me that and I’ll be the one kicking your ass.” 

“Not gonna listen to a guy named si-guy.” 

“Shut. Up.” 

You laughed. It was dumb and childish—not even that funny, frankly—but something about Simon frowning all seriously brought it out of you. 

A moment later, the frown disappeared, and Simon handed the cigarette back with a  little smile.  

Bonus headcanons (post oneshot):

When you two were kids, you often took the role of the mature one to reign in any dumb ideas that Simon schemed, though you’d participate in them moments later. 

The roles have reversed now: you are the dumbass and Ghost tries his best to keep it under control. 

The moment you’re near Ghost, a little layer of your cold exterior melts a little and you allow yourself to drop your guard a little and be loose-lipped—though, in public or with the guys, you tone it down a little and still address him as Ghost. 

In private though? The names are everything except for Ghost. 

Si-guy, mon-mon the man, syphilis, Simon says, se-si-so-fum (fe-fi-fo-fum), etc. 

Half the time the names just don’t even correlate with his and he quickly just got used to it. 

No one really notices the change between the two of you except for Soap, who takes note of the small glances the two of you exchange like it’s a secret language that could only be communicated between you guys.

He even noticed the small brush of your hand against Ghost’s shoulder after a particularly difficult mission and he returned it moments later. 

He has no idea if your friends, lovers, or just like?? Related maybe?? even if it would make ZERO sense for that to be the case.

In regards to König, Ghost would be protective. 

He wouldn’t be shy to voice his thoughts against the relationship because he’s seen how monstrous König could be on the battlefield and worries that he’s just hiding that ‘true persona’ of his for whatever reason. 

Also because he’s possessive; he’s convinced himself he’s just looking after you but he doesn’t like the idea of you straying away again but this time for some other guy. 

He also doesn’t know if he likes you romantically or not: he likes you, but he has no idea if the strength comes from a romantic pull or if it’s just platonic. He just wants you close. 

Also, both of you know each other’s tells; old habits die hard, and the tells you both had of discomfort from childhood still exist to this day.

Simon would go quiet and have a very specific stare that just kind of... glazes over. It’s dissociative.

You’d gently pry him out of that state with uncharacteristically soft words, making random observations or jokes. 

Whenever you're in a similar state, he'd just sit beside you and kind of lean in—he might just straight up grab your hand and squeeze if no one is nearby.

Overall, to any outsider, you guys would just appear to be comrades with the same layers of cold and bile, but in reality, you guys have history.

Despite the time that had passed, you'd still call each other the best of friends.

You're satisfied with that, but Ghost is unsure if he wants something more.

Until then, he'll just shoot König glares until he figures out what he really wants.

AO3

Masterlist

Requests are open

[campbyler]

BHDSDNSJDBKSJDK S OMFG OMFG I GIGGLED LIKE A MANIAC LIKE THE WHOLE TIME I WAS READING HOLY SHIT AHHHHHHHHHH THEY ARE SUCH STUPID IN LOVE IDIOTS "yes youre obsessed with me" HOLY SHIT THE SASS OH MY GODDDDDD I WAS LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING IS MIKE TAKING HIM ON A DATE HOLY SHIT AND THEN HE WAS BUT I DONT THINK WILL KNOWS IT WAS A DATE SBDSKNKJS THE COOL COOL MOMENT SDBSHD JS BSFHBSJDBS WILL LIKES HOW MIKE DRIVES OMFGG THEY LIKE HOLDING EACH OTHERS HANDS IM LITERALLY GONNA START SQUEALING okay mike is so real for his oshawatt pin on his fanny pack also ngl i kinda forgor that will works at starbucks but also like of course he does i feel like thats just a fact that everyone should know OMFGGG THEY ARE BOTH THE MOST CLINGY BITCHES EVER NHJSBUBHJWSBJ "engaging in behavior usually reserved for amusement park queues" HELP WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS TRYING NOT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD SO BADLY THAT I GOT LIGHTHEADED AND ALMOST FELL OUT OF MY BED I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING I WAS OUT OF BREATH AND WHEEZING FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES AND HAD TO TAKE A BREAK FROM READING NHJBSHBDKS THEY ARE SO FUCKING CLINGY OH MY GOD the vulnerablility 🥺🥺 they are being do soft with each other 🥺🥺 mike is finally opening up 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i love his car shopping list and his reasons 🥺🥺🥺🥺 also jesus FUCKING christ ted is fucking crazy that makes me so angry that he would do that and that it made such a lasting impact on mike that all those years later he would be worried about that happening to him its not okay OMFG OF COURSE HIS PASSWORD IS KERMIT HE IS SO SILLY NSDSHBDSB BESBDNSNDDNKJSNDB HES GONNA TEACH WILL HOW TO DRIVE HIS CAR OMFG OMFG OMFG THAT IS PROBABLY SO INTIMATE FOR HIM TOO BECAUSE THE CAR IS SUPPOSED TO BE HIS BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE HIS CAR AND NOW HES TEACHING WILL HOW TO DRIVE HIS CAR JUST SBHSBDKSNDIJNSFS

you fr knocked this one out of the fucking park thea like full on grand slam, everyone made it to home and the ball went so far we couldnt even see where it landed i am very thankful that you guys take the time to write these chapters so well anyway happy holidays 🫶 (and merry july in christmas lmao)

AHHHH OMGGGGG SUCH A LENGTHY REACTION I HAVE BEEN SO BLESSED!! LET ME TRY TO RESPOND PROPERLY (picture me cracking my knuckles without cracking them ty)

i am loving this play by play of everything!! i do need u to know that this has been Exactly what my brain has been doing on overdrive since likeeeee. february or march when we first drafted the concept for ch9 😭😭😭 i loveeeeed including the detail of mike's fanny pack and it's def most of the reason why i really want to draw their outfits!! i think will's starbucks job has either only been mentioned once or has only been mentioned on this blog, but it's a very important part of the universe #2 #me 💚 ALSO HELLLOOO I HOPE YOU ARE ALIVE AND OK AFTER ALMOST FALLING OUT OF YOUR BED???

i will sayyyy the ted story was definitely a bit of projection teehee (thanks #mom) but i did think it fit superrr well and was a really strong reason for why owning the car would be so important to him! i was so excited to be able to have him open up this chapter as well :')

i did have to debate between using snoopy and kermit for mike's passcode but kermit won out!! also YESSSS U ARE HITTING THE NAIL ON THE HEAAADDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!

ty so so so MUCHHH for your kind words and huge reaction, i'm so glad you enjoyed!! happy holidays and merry christmas in july!!!

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

HI AGAIN!! i was the other anon BWABHAHA pls call me 🍚 aka rice anon!!

SO LIKE i saw batty’s asks (ILY BATTY ‼️) and their ideas are so amazing AND SO ARE YOURS OMG !! the thought of the tf141 visting simon’s shop is so cute im going feral fr…

i was thinking that what if simon visited soap’s shop or smth and he saw reader there with their silly dog !! its like their having a date (me n my dog fr) !! and simon goes “damn i wish we were like that 😔”

my brain is not loading i swear i’ll pick up better ideas in the future BWHAHAH ALSO I READ UR PART 3!! I LOVE IT <33

Thank you so much rice anon! (Weeping at having named anons, you guys are the best)

Also yes, very yes. Simon visiting Gjosts shop because despite how he doesn't want to admit it, Soap makes the best pastries in town. In would be easier to admit if Soap wasn't such a smug bastard about it.

So he walks up the steps to the shop and freezes, when he sees you through the glass door. You're at the counter, chatting with Soap, both of you laughing about something and Simon's stomach drops.

Why is it so easy for you to talk to Soap and he's such an idiot about it? Why can't he make you laugh like that?

Like a schoolboy he ducks around the corner of the shop, going in through the backdoor to avoid bumping into you. That way he also gets to listen to your and Soaps conversation

When you leave he finally appears and Soap (having noticed him immediately) is such smug mf about it.

Simon isn't even conscious of it, when he watches you leave with your dog and whistfully sighs: "Wish that was me."

Soap takes a double take but no, you're alone, only have your dog with you and he stares at Simon breaking out into laughter.

"The dog?! Yer fucking jealous of the dog?"

[cottoncandysprite]

God ok. So I rewatched the season 3 finale right. This was my first rewatch since bingeing the entire show in 2 days with no breaks except sleep last spring so obviously this was my first REAL watch of it that wasn't over emotional and sleep deprived. And I still cried my eyes out.

That finale (and the third season as a whole) is such a perfect piece of television for so many reasons but I'm just gonna be rambling about some of my favorite details for a second so just hang tight

Guillermo interrupting himself at the beginning with "and I deserve it" is SO UNDERRATED I'm obsessed with him

Laszlo draws such a realistic line of putting up a front of apathy even though we as the audience know how close he and Colin got that season. Like obviously he's mourning but it's not cartoonishly obvious that he's lying like we would see from Nadja. He's just unusually quiet.

Colin's pictures being torn out jumpscared me. Not a fun thing to forget about when you aren't emotionally prepared

I miss the Nadja doll. Where was she in season 4 fr

It cuts to Guillermo when Nandor talks about being reminded of how eternal life can be snuffed out in an instant. Camera guys ily

"You're running away from your feelings!" vs. "You're one of the things I need to get away from!" I never forgot about this moment I just can't believe it exists

Do y'all think Viago is gonna be confused when Guillermo shows up as a guest judge on drag race this season

LASZLO HAD A FLING WITH WALT WHITMAN????????? WE ALL JUST FORGOT THAT EXISTED HUH

Guillermo's little grins as he ran around trying to manipulate the house into staying. I love this little shit

Laszlo's speech legit got me choked up. WITH NADJAS THEME IN THE BACKGROUND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

Ok. Fuck. The fight scene. GOD.

¡¡¡PLANCHA!!!

Wouldn't say Guillermo cheated, fought dirty yes but cheating is a bit of a stretch Nandor. I thought you were a strategist

HOW COME NO ONE TALKS ABOUT GUILLERMO THROWING THE KNIFE BACK ANYMORE. WITH THE "AH AH AH!" THAT WAS COOL AS FUCK I LOVE HIM

"You're just scared of me right now" I mean, that and one other thing probably

I know it's been pointed out on here a million times but I wonder if Guillermo realized that Nandor wanted to share ancestral soil. He must have realized right

NANDOR'S SMILE AFTER GUILLERMO LEAVES IM GONNA BE SICK

"MY NANDO- MASTER" AND WHAT IF I SCREAMED

The hat. Maybe it was packed and that's why Guillermo had such bad luck (/hj)

THEIR PLAYFUL TEASING. UGH. NANDOR IS SOOO BABYGIRL IN THIS EP

Do y'all think NADJA will recognize Guillermo on drag race????????

Catch me literally sobbing at the train station. NANDOR LOOKS SO PATHETIC. YOU CAN SEE THE HEARTBREAK IN HIS EYES. WHILE GUILLERMO CALLS OUT TO HIM. THEYRE IDIOTS AND I HATE IT HERE

The lighting on the scene where Laszlo discovers Baby Colin had no right being that cool

That kinda just devolved into recounting the events of the episode through screaming but like. It stands. That episode. God.