#this guy's videos are something else

[itslarsyouguys]

Ok in a lot of video games, you'd have someone in your group that can do something cool, like talk to corpses, and then you never use it. Why do they do that.

Veilguard gave us a guy that talks to corpses and legitimately everyone in the group is solving problems by having this guy talk to corpses. He's talking to corpses left and right, I just had three separate cut scenes of corpse guy doing his corpse thing and I love it.

[fascinationstreetmp3]

This is Dr. Casper Darling. I have a classified message for the Director of the Federal Bureau of Control.

[quesadilla-day]

a freeze team ❄️ (tutorial on how to make a baby) ❄️ my original edits using the aforementioned tutorial are under the cut, which inspired the drawing lol ^^

[delzinrowe]

THE OFFICE BUT MAKE IT JJK

[irraddiated]

he's fine

[high-voltage-rat]

My final late submission to the RvB OC Week, for day 6: relationships!

Ali and Kris, as members of the Reds and Blues respectively, end up forming really strong relationships with everyone in the blood gulch crew. What this means, practically speaking, is that they participate in a lot of shenaniganry throughout the course of the series.

To start, Ali and Kris are of course very close. The cousins grew up together, and then having been through so much together as adults- the glassing of their planet, their time as freelancers, and everything beyond... Their bond is probably the closest in their lives. During their tenure in blood gulch, even before the formation of a more amicable familiarity between the reds and blues, the cousins spent a lot of time together. They essentially have a relationship akin to siblings, full of playful bickering and teasing, but a very deep trust and understanding of one another.

(This is mostly a collection of some of my old (really, really old) doodles and drawings with some additions and edits thrown in. transcript as an antidote to poor handwriting beneath the cut, plus details on each relationship!)

Ali and Donut:

Ali, staring at red base's curtains: No, you're right actually. Chantilly lace was the move. Donut: O! M! G! Right? It adds so much more natural light!

Donut is probably Ali's best friend on the red team. At first, she found his bubbly demeanour a little exhausting, but quickly grew to appreciate his genuine nature and his spirited can-do attitude. It's a lesser known fact that Ali spent part of their childhood living on a farm- but it was definitely a bonding point between them. They'll sometimes just sit and complain about horses being idiots who try to self-destruct at the slightest provocation, or chickens having bloodthirsty rage within their hearts, or cows trying to kick you in the head while you try to help deliver their babies. Ali is also the only member of red team willing to engage with Donut's ideas for interior design and fashion- mainly because she considers it an important factor in everyone's morale, and eschews the military ideals of uniformity. They often encourage him to keep being his bright and individual self... which is much-needed among a team of party-poopers. Donut, in turn, tries to encourage Ali to be just as bold as him- especially important when their social anxiety gets the better of them.

Kris and Tucker:

Tucker: Hey, baby. Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes. Kris, filling up a water gun: Tucker, I'm literally wearing my helmet.

Tucker is Kris' best friend on blue team, despite his incessant habit of practicing his shitty pickup lines on her (Kris actually finds it kind of charming, though she'd never admit it to him). They had a rocky start, with Tucker having a rigid idea of how he was "supposed to" interact with women that generally just made every conversation stupid and uncomfortable while he tried to perform masculinity. But with time, and a few serious and hard conversations about women being normal people, he relaxed, and they eventually managed to settle into a normal friendship- full of dirty jokes, lighthearted banter, and "fake" flirting. Never mind the fact that it feels kind of real. They're just friends. Normal friends. They just hang out, shoot the shit, play video games or take bets on the outcome of whatever new shenanigans are happening around them. Kris is the only one Tucker trusts to help braid his hair. And Kris was willing to be around the same species and culture of alien that had glassed her home planet, just to make sure Tucker was safe. Tucker made Kris the godmother of his child, she reciprocated by helping him learn some of that child's language (again, the language of a people who destroyed her home). When they were split up after Blood Gulch, Kris picked up saying 'bow chicka bow wow' to fill the space Tucker left. and it's all very, totally platonic.

Kris and Caboose

Freinds 4 Evr: Cris + Cabose

If Church wasn't Caboose's best friend, Kris would be next in line for the position. She's really well accustomed to the quirks of living with people who have working memory issues- Ali's ADHD has made sure of that, let alone her time in CANDIV- so she typically does her best to lend a hand when Caboose needs it, instituting a few memory aid systems around the base, and being patient when he has difficulty remembering and understanding things. She's also careful to treat him with respect and kindness, and encourage others to do the same- even if they don't often listen. In a lot of ways, Kris kind of feels like another big sister to him. He also really enjoys giving her piggybacks, and playing roadtrip games or singing songs together when they're travelling or waiting around for long periods of time. Kris also does art as a hobby, so Caboose will often sit and paint or draw alongside her, they'll chat about whatever is on their minds, and when they're done they'll hang their art in the base side by side.

Ali and the Director

Why the CANDIV Agents really rebelled from PFL: as told by Agent Alberta Ali: Director, this ship needs chicken nuggets ASAP. Director: Fuhk you, ayjunt.

Bafflingly, Ali was the CANDIV agent most often in charge of relations with the Director and Counsellor. Despite not being one of the team's leaders, she had both the ability to pick up on Vibes and nonverbal information, and to tolerate their weird and frankly irritating style of conducting themselves (the Counsellor's unbridled therapyspeak and the Director's bitchiness)... which tended to rub everyone else in CANDIV the wrong way. Not that it didn't, you know, also irritate her sometimes. The Director, for his part, just kind of wanted to study Ali like a bug, as he did all the freelancers.

Kris and Ali and Wash + Carolina

Carolina: How did Ali and Nova go so long undetected? They must be incredible at espionage to have fooled you. Wash, remembering: Uh huh, yep, totally! Past!Wash: You guys seem familiar... are you sure we haven't met? Past!Ali, wearing a shirt that says "NOT A FREELANCER": Past!Kris, wearing a shirt that says "REGULAR SIM-TROOPER": Certain! As you can see by our shirts, we are not freelancers! Past!Wash: Hard to argue with that logic!

As shown in my fic covering Season 6, Wash had no idea Ali and Kris were former freelancers, despite a brief feeling of familiarity when they first met. It helped, of course, that he had a lot on his plate, and the literal Alpha AI was there stealing the show. But at the end of Season 8, Ali and Karys finally revealed themselves when they offered him a chance to do the same as them- to fake his death, hide from the authorities, and take on a new sim trooper identity. The way they explained it to him, they were of the opinion that freelancers shouldn't be made to take the fall for the crimes the Director and Counsellor committed, or the things they had to do to survive the Project's bullshit. They helped coach him a bit on how to really sell it, acting like the dumbest of asses, and helped to set him at ease with the knowledge that it really could be over. Then Carolina showed up and was baffled by the three highly trained special ops agents playing capture the flag and recreationally bickering over which team had the superior kill count.

...they'll get her too, eventually. They just need to catch her first, which is hard because she's speedy.

Kris + Ali and Wash

Kris' Imagination!Ali, swooning: ooh wash~ Kris' Imagination!Wash: how are you bending like that Real!Ali: Kris I will literally kill you Real!Kris: No you won't <3

Ali has... a soft spot for Wash. Kris likes to tease them about it. They tease back about her "totally platonic" relationship with Tucker. You know, psychological warfare among cousins.

In truth, Ali and Wash are friends- beyond the whole "learning how to de-freelancer" thing they do with Kris, sometimes Wash just needs the opportunity to complain about the members of blue team, or Ali needs to complain about the members of red team, or they just "need" to practice shooting bottles off the side of a cliff. Sometimes Wash will let Ali infodump about whatever thing she's hyperfocused on in the moment. Sometimes they'll swap stories- usually the embarrassing ones. Both of them are socially awkward, but there's a comfort in both knowing the other person is awkward, too, and not judging you- and that makes it a bit easier. Whether or not they'd ever be more than friends isn't worth complicating matters.

Church + Kris and Ali

Ali, standing on top of red base: I think DOGS should VOTE! Church: Yo Kris! Your red buddy's being weird again!

Kris and Ali firmly hold that Church is a bit of a dick- but they've grown fond of him, anyway. Church, for his part, really finds the cousins weird and a little exasperating, much as he does every other member of the canyon- but he also has a weird sense of familiarity with them he can't seem to shake. He enjoys talking shit with Kris and Tucker, and finds Ali the second most tolerable member of red team after Grif. He also still doesn't really get why Ali hasn't converted to blue team considering how much she hangs around their base, but she sometimes brings snacks from Grif's stash and fixed Sheila with parts stolen from Sarge's stash for them a couple times, so he only complains a relatively normal amount. When they lived together in Outpost 48-A for a year, he spent a lot of time having awkward conversations with them, serving as an extra pair of hands while they worked on projects around the base, and being subjected to attempted shooting lessons from them to fix his terrible aim. He was, frankly, really ready for a break from them by the time Wash and Caboose showed up.

There's of course an underlying layer to the relationship here- Ali and Kris know that Church is the Alpha, they put it together very early on in their time in Blood Gulch. After discovering a little bit of what was done to make the fragments, the CANDIV freelancers definitely started to consider the Alpha as "one of them"- so the two decided to make it a priority to keep him safe and give him some semblance of freedom where possible.

Ali and Grif

Ali, slamming open the doors: Sarge wants us to start eating healthy! Grif, panicking: Oh, god, hide the snacks!

Ali and Grif have a strong solidarity in avoiding work at all costs- though their motivations are very different. They also have a shared love of snacks, and a desire to be as laid-back as possible. The problem comes in what can essentially be summed up as "Ali is messy, Grif is dirty". In this sense, they actually clash over the way the common space is- or isn't- maintained, which drives Simmons nuts because they're both filthy in his eyes. They'll cover for each other to try and help in the ever-present task of evading Sarge's orders, and they'll share their respective snack stashes- within reason. And occasionally, for brief periods of uncommon motivation, they'll have a war over high scores in whatever video game is in vogue for them. The score for Rainbow Road on the team's wii is still occasionally revisited to this day.

Simmons + Ali and Kris

Simmons, staring through the doorway: Ali, perched on top of the fridge, handing a bag of chips down to Kris standing on a step stool: <- red fucking handed

Quite frankly, Simmons doesn't understand how Sarge hasn't branded Ali as a traitor and given her a shotgun court-martial. He comes so close to reporting them every time they bring a blue into their base, and especially when they feed her Grif's snacks. But every time, he's given the excuse that Ali is "cementing their in with the enemy for better infiltration and deception"- and every time, it gives him just enough pause that he never says anything to any of the other reds. What if he's wrong? What if she really is gathering valuable intel? The blues clearly tolerate her hanging around their base, so she is actually in an excellent position to infiltrate them when it's needed most. It drives him nuts that she has a point, and it infuriates him to no end that she can use it as an excuse to get out of work, and Sarge still seems to think she's an excellent soldier. He secretly desires nothing more than to prove they're an incompetent phony compared to him.

Ali thinks Simmons is hilarious. They know he seethes about everything they do- and that he also thinks he's more competent than them. If ever he tries to trip them up or make them look like a fool, they'll sometimes let the sim trooper facade of idiocy fall just for him- just long enough to take anything he throws at them in stride. They're also the one who helped Sarge turn him into a part-cyborg, which just serves to make the beef that much funnier to them.

Ali + Kris and Kris' garden

Ali, carrying a cabbage, sprinting past a sign that says "GARDEN, KEEP OUT!": Kris, aiming a gun at them:

The garden Kris maintains out back of Blue Base is her pride and joy. Every time a member of blue team is eating a plant, Kris watches like a hawk to ensure seeds are saved and replanted- she has meticulously pulled every seed off an entire shipment of strawberries before allowing anyone to eat them. She's chewed Church out for ordering seedless grapes from command. The plants growing there are named, lovingly tended to each morning and evening, and ensure her ability to maintain a vegetarian diet. The plants are her babies.

Ali hangs around Blue Base so often at this point, the fighting is just a formality. In order to keep up the facade, at some point during every visit, Ali will attempt to steal a fruit or vegetable out of the garden, and Kris will attempt to stop them. Usually, it's somewhat tame- a minor heist that's easily thwarted, or a clean getaway after a suitable distraction. However, every once and a while it's instead akin to a fight for the flag, just with a carrot instead of a piece of coloured fabric. Kris has, in fact, shot Ali with live rounds over a cauliflower before. They had full shields, but still.

Kris and Lopez

Kris: So, they crashed the jeep again? Lopez: si. Kris: After you just fixed it? Lopez: si. Kris: That's messed up. Lopez: si.

Kris has a weirdly amicable relationship with Lopez. He likes her most out of everyone in the entire canyon- probably mostly because she doesn't pretend to know what he's saying, but doesn't ignore him, either... and she has a dry sense of humour he really appreciates. They kind of get along on a system of "si or no" whenever they interact.

Ali and Sarge

Sarge, pointing at a "Red Team Victory Scheme V.37.23" poster: Ali, I need you to- Ali, walking past: Sorry, sir, have to spy on the blues. Sarge: Huh. What a dedicated soldier.

Sarge genuinely thinks Ali is his best soldier, aside from Lopez. It helps that Ali, being from a military family, knows exactly how to "yes, and" military guys to make them think you're on their side, and whatever you've suggested is their idea. It also helps that she's teamed up with Kris to run the long con. While Sarge looks at Ali fondly, and holds her up as a shining example of red team loyalty, Ali is actively working to prevent the red team from ever making a successful combat move against the blues. She feeds just enough information that they constantly have to be changing their plans of attack, regularly claims the blues are "unexpectedly on patrol" to force them to abort a mission, and just generally manipulates things to avoid open conflict. Despite everything, though, she kind of looks at him like a vaguely annoying yet still beloved grandfather- and when they work together to rebuild Simmons as a cyborg, or create a robotic vessel for a "ghost", or just revamp the chupathingy... she can't help but be a little fond of the kooky old guy. Especially when she acknowledges that he, like the rest of them, is a victim of the military and Project Freelancer's manipulation and exploitation. She hopes that one day, she'll be able to get him to acknowledge that enough to be someone other than a rank.

Ali and Doc + O'Malley

Ali, with bloodstained hands and blood splatters on their armour, looking haunted: I've seen more of Tucker today than I ever wanted to. O'Malley, similarly bloodstained and fist-pumping: Muahaha! Excellent! We can exploit this weakness! Ali: O'Malley, if you find a way to weaponize Tucker in active labour, I will gladly surrender there and then.

Ali and Doc really don't know what to think of each other. They're both medically inclined- and sometimes they can have a good conversation about patient relations or wound care practices. But sometimes Doc says some truly ridiculous thing that highlights the fact that he very much failed medical school, and Ali really has to bite their tongue as they try to gently correct him. Doc, for his part, finds it a little annoying that Ali has to criticize so much- who's the qualified medic, here, after all?- but does appreciate the extra hand for the treatment he's doing when needed. After he was possessed by O'Malley, their weird half-amicable-coworkers, half-baffled-and-irritated dynamic kind of got cranked up even further. During periods when O'Malley kind of establishes himself as a minimal threat, Ali just kind of smiles and nods at his evil rants and makes polite conversation with him and Doc. Sometimes their dynamic turns into something resembling a spray bottle wielder and a cat- no threats of murder while we're delivering a baby, man, cut it out!

At the end of the day though- Doc is a pacifist medic in a war zone, even one as ridiculous as Blood Gulch, and Ali really respects that. And the fact that Ali doesn't actually fear O'Malley much has earned her his respect, and Doc's, in turn.

[randomtheidiot]

Shoutout to Rebecca Colton from Amanda The Adventurer for being a murder victim in a mascot horror game that’s actually a character with a personality, thoughts and feelings.

[baby-xemnas]

BEPO ANGEL WAVING AND WISHING THEM GOOD LUCK SO CUTE. SWEET CONTRAST AFTER LAWS RESERVED DEMEANOR

[hayaku14]

GUYS I'M BEGGING

SHINICHI ON A SKATEBOARD

PLEASE

[waterfallofspace]

Anyone else not able to say 'bless you', either because it feels too personal, embarrassing, slightly erotic or a mixture of all of the above-

Buuuuuut also whenever an event interrupts the conversation, you feel so much more awkward not saying anything/commenting on it at all, and so you wish you could just... say that phrase, or have some other thing that makes sense to say to just- shrug it off???

[imjustaf444keriguess]

gonna be real here, calling someones mental breakdown a "crashout" just feels rude.

[tboyblogger]

im still REALLY bummed out that i cant draw anything (presentable. gods know i have too much drafts in the trash that were making me *really* frustrated) these past few weeks but fine. at least i got Vocaloids

[charlieslimeciclereal]

criminally low number considering the amount of thumbnails they're... um.. featured in. together.

[pseudophan]

if they phulpload when i leave the house in 40 minutes (they will) i am going to kms (i am)

maybe you get lucky and they wait until sunday...

[bizlybebo]

theres something in me that wants to write the exact same au shifted slightly to the left 48269484 billion times