#this has been sitting in my drafts for ages but i think about it constantly so to the wild it goes

[aroaceleovaldez]

i feel like many adhd/autistic people have very strong opinions about pants vs skirts/dresses (and vs shorts vs skirt-shorts) so here is My Oddly Specific PJO Headcanons About Their Legwear Opinions:

Percy - Shorts and short skirts kind of guy. Not a huge fan of fabric touching his legs. Type of guy to wear shorts in the middle of winter. Thinks skirt-shorts are neat. Will tolerate long pants if required but not long skirts (surprise fabric against his legs is Bad).

Annabeth - HATES skirts/dresses. Insert line from SoM about Percy not being able to imagine Annabeth caught dead in a dress here. The flowing fabric is a liability and she must be ready for combat at all hours.

Jason - Refused to wear pants until he was like 12. He was raised by wolves and then raised in New Rome; he did not wear pants as a child. Big fan of skirts/dresses but doesn't wear them as often as he'd like. BIG fan of togas/chitons. Pants are extremely hit-or-miss for him and he's very particular about it. Shorts are even more questionable.

Piper - Shorts or skirt-shorts mostly, though is fine with pants. Absolutely hates skirts/dresses do not even look at her with one she will destroy it with her mind. Loose fabric swooshing against legs bad. 100% DIY'd her own jorts though.

Leo - Least amount of loose fabric possible. too dangerous around machinery. Also he needs one billion pockets at all times or he will lose his mind. Shorts or pants only (though overalls are also very nice).

Frank - The only neutral party because he's (allegedly) neurotypical. He just doesn't have sensory problems so he doesn't care. Generally prefers pants though just cause otherwise his legs stick together like when it's hot out or chafe and that's not fun. Also has trouble finding good shorts. If those problems are solved though he's all for shorts/skirts/dresses/etc.

Hazel - Basic jeans or denim-type stuff or the frilliest skirt/dress you've ever seen with no in-between. If it's denim she will doodle on it though.

Nico - Pants only, maybe shorts, and maybe has like one or two exception skirts that he wears pants under anyways. Will tolerate togas/chitons with shorts. Generally dislikes skirts/dresses though mostly just because he grew up in the 1930s so he probably had to wear baby dresses and wearing skirts and dresses now mostly just makes him feel a little bit like a toddler. Also he doesn't like having his legs exposed. His legs will breathe through the rips in his jeans and that is all they need. Yes he is dying in the heat. Yes he has the stupidest tan lines ever don't look at him.

Reyna - Enemy of pants. She'll tolerate them but she won't be happy about it. Long skirts and maybe shorts only. If you can't fight in a long skirt/dress that's a skill issue.

Will - Shorts ONLY. Maybe a short skirt or short dress if he's having a good gender day but would not be caught dead in pants. He and Percy are standing in solidarity in their shorts in 10 degree (fahrenheit) weather shivering their legs off.

[marvelfanfics1]

Paci kisses 🥺 I lub it!!!!! And so you can do may be winterwindow x little reader x little Peter where the reader Slips in babyspace and always wanna give them paci kisses so they are at the avenger tower on a Visit and baby goes to uncle Steve and give him a paci kiss on the cheek and then she goes to everyone and gives all paci kisses and little petie get jealous (may be tom Peter) and crawl to him and gives him paci kisses all over his face after that she climbed on daddy's lap and gives him paci kisses like she does with mommy and everyone adores the scene 🥺🥺

Kisses for everyone

Pairing: cg!Winterwidow x little!reader x little!peter

Warnings: Age Regression, lots of kisses, pure fluff, jealousy, not proofread

A/n: This has been sitting in my drafts for so long I'm sorry 😭🙏🏻

                                   ⭒𖥸⭒

The second the elevator door opened to the common floor Peter ran out and jumped on the big couch, reserving a seat for him and you like he does every time for movie night.

Bucky shook his head with a smile and turned his attention to you. Today you felt smaller than usual, which neither your caregivers nor Peter mind. They love you, doesn't matter the headspace.

"You okay, baby?" he asked and you nodded, smiling behind your paci you leaned forward to kiss his cheek.

Bucky walked over to Peter to hand you in his awaiting arms, knowing the boy could get fussy when he doesn't have his cuddle partner. To be fair, Peter is very protective over you and when you're in babyspace he's constantly on alarm, making sure you're happy and safe.

Half an hour later the common area was filled with chatter and laughter, everyone talking about how they have been before it was time to decide on a movie together. While the heroes chat you were going around giving each person a cuddle and a paci kiss, it's nothing new to the others how affectionate you can be.

Right now you were on Steve's back, arms wrapped around his neck and giggling, moving your head forward to give him a paci kiss against his cheek and letting out a surprised squeal when he pretended to drop you. If only you knew that you were the only little having so much fun at this moment. Peter was pouting on the couch with his arms crossed.

He doesn't know why he feels this way but seeing you giving everyone in the room the love and attention that he and your mommy and daddy were usually getting only, has him sulking on the large couch.

Natasha being the attentive assassin she is noticed almost instantly what was going on. She stopped her conversation with Clint and made her way to sit next to Peter nudging his shoulder.

"Wanna tell me what got you all pouty?" she teased, pulling slightly at his bottom lip that was jutted out.

He smiled a little but went back to frowning at his mommy before mumbling. "Just wanna have tiny for me alone..."

"Ah, I see..." She replied, moving some of his curls from his face and leaning closer to whisper to him. "Give it some time and she will be glued to your side."

On the other side of the couch, you were sitting on your knees between Bucky and Steve, occasionally listening to their conversation and looking around until your daddy tapped your thigh to get your attention.

"I think Peter needs some snuggles from his little sister, you think you can help him out?" he asked and you nodded your head proudly, a big smile forming behind your paci.

You instantly crawled your way over to Peter, shocking him first but he smiled the second you leaned forward to give him a paci kiss, and not just one, you kissed him all over his face until you were sure he was his happy self again.

"Lub Petie," you said proving it by giving him one last paci kiss on his lips.

"I lub you too, Tiny." he smiles brightly wrapping his arms around you to pull you in for a long hug.

When you were sure he was satisfied with the attention you gave him you switched from Peter to sitting on Bucky's lap, reaching over to play with your mommy's hair and also giving her and your daddy a paci kiss while the others cooed at the whole interaction.

⭒𖥸⭒

Taglist

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @aagn360 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @fluffyblanketgecko @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse @paisley-yy

Crossed out are the ones I somehow can't tag!

[soulwrit3s]

Nonsense

A/N : i haven’t written in ages, Ik Ik 😭 i have so many WIPS that I’m not satisfied with and this has been sitting in my drafts for ages.

mechanic! riri x reader

🔧: @pvnks0ul @kissvamps @ririshotgf

“Ion know what her problem is anyway.” Riri sighs . She just finished giving you all the details of her dad’s side of the family. More specifically, Her cousin, Gina who is especially messy and the two of you couldn’t make it to Chicago this year to watch her and her husband argue like they do every year. He’s an absolute sweetheart and she still manages to give him a hard time.

“You think that could ever be us?” You ask Riri as you watch her move around the garage. She doesn’t spare a glance at you while she looks into her toolbox. The two of you are freshly married, having dated for four years before tying the knot. In the past 6 months of your marriage, you'd say that things have barely changed. It feels the same as when you were dating.

She looks too good, her jumpsuit zipped half way and The top half of it dropped at her hips. Her hands are covered in motor oil, her bicep muscles clenching and unclenching as she digs through the toolbox.

You decided to stop by, offer her a cherry coke while she works. You take your place in the corner of the garage, sitting on a bean bag as you watch her.

“Hell no.” She chuckles, grabbing a wrench from her toolbox and placing it in one of the deep pockets of her Navy blue jumpsuit. You've always loved watching her work, whether it's her screwing metal together for a better suit or this, watching her work on cars.

“We ain’t like Gina and her man. We like you and me, and we don’t argue like that. I’ve never yelled at you the way she be in that man’s ear.” Riri says with a small laugh. You watch her wipe the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand since the front of it is slathered in motor oil.

She’s not wrong. You two have had your disagreements but Riri’s never been one to yell, however you’ve watched her hold back. You on the other hand…It’s a different story but it’s still a work in progress, nothing she can’t handle.

“She gives him a hard time.” You sigh, a small amount of guilt making it’s way to your chest as you think of the couple. He always looks so miserable.

“Maybe, maybe not, maybe he’s a dick in secret.” Riri shrugs. She doesn’t speak of her Dad often let alone his side of the family and when you do see them, they’re either arguing or gossiping about something.

“What makes you say that?”

“I don’t think she yellin’ for no reason, baby. Maybe he did something he wasn’t supposed to be doing.” She states, a little amused now as she thinks of a multitude of reasons as to why that man is constantly getting scolded.

“It’s not funny.” You scold which only makes her laugh a little harder. She looks at you only to approach you and sit beside you. There’s barely any space for both of you on a singular bean bag so she lifts hooks her arms beneath your knees and back to place you on her lap.

“Tell me, that shit ain’t funny, They was arguing over mowing the lawn.” She grins as she takes a sip of glass of coke you had bright over for her. As much as she says she hates the gossip, she’s always been one to find it entertaining.

“All I’m saying is it’s a bit sad, don’t you think?” You sigh. They’ve been married for years and you can’t help but wonder if they’ve grown tired of each other, rather if you would ever be in that position.

“A little, but I ain’t arguing over some stupid shit like mowing the lawn.” She huffs while glancing at you. She looks to the side, wondering if you’ve zoned out or not.

“What I say?”

You both burst into laughter soon after, you could never get tired of her.

[epersonae]

I wrote this originally as a reblog of something else, but after letting it sit in drafts for a while realized it needed to be its own thing. (but do go read that post, it was what got me thinking in this specific direction) I have not edited it much, other than to remove some intro about the kind of shitty day(s) I was having in my non-online life that were part of why I wrote something and then sat on it.

I have been thinking about

Don't like, don't read

(I saw this with rainbow text, and I asked how the fuck to do that, and frankly I don't have that level of patience, so just imagine it rainbow I guess)

And..........

Sure? We're all just here to have a good time or whatever, and Just Like Stuff, and it's exhausting being a hater (but also [stares at people I know who I've seen say all that and who are also ABSOLUTELY haters in private])

But I want something more nuanced than that. I mean that as both:

a writer of things I know other people have taken issue with (including, I remembered today, something that I heard secondhand about, in addition to the vagueblogging I've mentioned in an earlier post about my older fic)

and a reader/art appreciator who has some issues with things I've tried to read and art I've seen.

I don't what it is or how it works or how to get from here to there. I don't even really know how to do this with people I'm close to! (with the exception of having been a thoroughly obnoxious beta constantly saying "make me believe this could even happen", or pointing out conflicts with canon or whatever) I tend to silently nope out and then change my opinion of the person without ever telling them, because yeah, I'm horrifically conflict averse.

Which is why this might sit in my drafts for a long time.

And then, outside of friendships, and Difficult Conversations or whatever

I don't like pile-ons. I don't like a couple of people trying to articulate what bugs them about a piece of writing, and maybe being awkward or clumsy about it, and immediately getting drowned out by "you're being mean to my friends". (and I say that as someone who has had friends' writing receive this sort of critique! Multiple friends!) Maybe the immediate answer is, yes, the back button, but it has to be possible to dissect what's bothering you about a piece of writing (or a trope, or a ship) without it being negativity or an attack.

Here, I'll go first, because these are two things in OFMD fic that bug me endlessly, that writers I like have written, and I think they exhibit a subversion of the source material that is counter to the actual themes of the show.

Note: since I wrote all of this, I have written a little bit about my sort of complicated feelings about a fic that imho is an original novel in a trenchcoat, a sort of fic lacroix despite being very good. these examples are in the same vein as that.

Inevitable fucking disclaimer: I don't think people are wrong or bad for doing these things, I'm not going to try to make anybody stop, I practice don't like don't read (and I have some exceptions that I've enjoyed despite it being something I don't like generally)

Enemies to lovers: the whole point of Ed and Stede is that they click perfectly and immediately. They like each other! From the very first minute it's friendship and mutual admiration and delight and attraction. Enemies to lovers is a cliche that belongs to a different story entirely. I wish people would think more before jumping to that trope. (I've had an AU in my head for months that I absolutely cannot write until I solve this problem from the AU's source material) It's an interesting question to me, actually, why it seems to be so easy to write characters who don't like each other and then somehow fall in love, when the source material shows them liking each other SO MUCH right away.

Younger than middle aged: again, the whole point is that they are changing their lives, that their midlife crises brings them to the point where they can find love. I think it's a djenks Themes and Motifs thing, to have a story about getting to this point in your life and really looking at it and going "am I where I need to be?" Also it's incredibly unique and special to me after the last few years of my own rolling midlife crisis. (petty thought that I have sometimes: it is a failure of imagination about or knowledge of actual middle-aged people) Tbh, this goes double for age difference, I will nope out of that even faster than both of them being young.

And I think there's something about being able to not like something and still not be a dick about it, to know enough about what you do like to look at something and say "this doesn't work for me and here's why", to engage thoughtfully and critically (and yeah occasionally in public) while still having respect for the other person.

I am thinking also of @emi--rose and @frommybookbook and music, and their efforts to find kpop and Taylor Swift, respectively, that I might enjoy, because I don't like most of either, and I think this thing we've been doing is helping all three of us understand more about what we all do and don't like.

[pausing to think]

It occurs to me, also, that I spent a lot of time griping while editing for the benefit of all the broken hearts, about having to go back and do a lot of set up/rewriting to make some of what happens in that read plausibly. And I was soooooo bitchy about it and also that critique was all correct and it made the story stronger even aside from making it more "canonical", whatever the fuck that means in that particular setting.

And that was in the particular creative intimacy setting of working with a beta, which is different, admittedly, from random critique on the open internet.

But then I spent a while, back in the day, immersed in the TAZ questions of "is Lucretia a lesbian?" and "can Magnus ever love again?" and I wrote my rarepair (and associated polycule shipping) very much from my id, and a certain amount of "you can't tell me that didn't happen" that was based on overidentification and personal experience, but there were definitely people who were pretty publicly "ew" about it, and I had to think through my position, and both decide what felt true about and also decide to write from my weird heart, but not blindly.

Idk, I've written all of this and I'm just landing on

I think introspection is nice.

I think it's good to do, I think it's worth thinking about what you like and don't like, and maybe where that comes from, and not in a puriteen way but with sincerity and curiosity. I would like to support and encourage that spirit of artistic introspection.

[dangerouslyintofictionalloves]

(Bucky Barnes) A Little Messed Up #1

Warnings: Hey y'all this short story is not gonna be a cute or romantic plot. Just wanted to warn y'all that this short fanfic is more of a breakup plot between the two characters.

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Violence, Cheating, Arguments, Threats, Angst

Also I wrote this years ago, so it has been sitting in my wattpad unpublished dungeon for ages. I just thought that I'd give everything I ever wrote more of a chance to shine on Tumblr to see how it does.

For some reason I just feel more comfortable publishing things here. Even if I have multiple versions or drafts of a story.

Also all gifs included are from @k-fangirledits unless it's linked to the original wattpad post then idk where that gif came from.

Main OC Character Dahlia

Plot: Dahlia is Bucky's girlfriend. They met when he had just escaped HYDRA. She helped keep him hidden. Being a secret little goodie goodie she never really got to do anything exciting with her life so she saw this as a chance to live her life well and help someone along the way. After a while of training and recruitment once Bucky and Dahlia become part of the Avengers things are not seemingly going smooth as Natasha and Bucky are sent out on a mission together and he comes back distant. This triggers powers in Dahlia that she hadn't used since her childhood when she was going through a dark time dealing with bullies, and judgement. 

Dahlia snickered to herself as she sat at the island in the kitchen.

Bucky hadn't attempted to contact her in the month that he had been gone.

On a mission with Natasha, and yet Nat is the only one out of the two that cares to give her updates of their well being and how the mission is going.

Apparently Bucky had been spending time going to the bars then coming back late in the night. Thinking he was slick and that Natasha wouldn't notice his change in behavior.

To Natasha, she thought he was absolutely insane and such an asshole to neglect his GIRLFRIEND whom is patiently waiting for him back at home.

This bullshit decision of not notifying the wonderful woman that she considers a sister who is also his GIRLFRIEND.

Phone Call:

Natasha: What do you want me to do Li? Should I confront him and beat his ass for you? 

Dahlia: No. Don't do anything out of the ordinary. Keep me in the loop like you have been and we will see if there's anything truly going on. 

Natasha: Li, he's been coming home with the obvious scent of a woman. Are you sure? It's difficult for me to report this back to you but I want to be as honest as possible.

Dahlia: That's fine Nat. Be honest, I don't want you to sugarcoat anything from me. I am a grown, adult woman and I can handle it. If that's the verdict from your position, once you arrive back at base I'll handle this. We'll see if he comes clean about his choices. 

Natasha: Alright, but only if you're sure sweetheart. I gotta go before they get suspicious of my phone call being too long for just a bathroom break. I love you to the moon and back. See you soon darling. 

Dahlia: Love you too Nat.

End of Call

Unbeknownst to Dahlia her eyes had lost their shine.

The whites of her usually glowing brown eyes, now replaced by a dark abyss matching her pupils.

She glanced down at her hands surprised seeing a dust like dark mist floating around. Similar to when Wanda activates her power but more fluid and constantly there. 

Dahlia wasn't known for any special power with her position in the Avengers.

She never knew how to control her powers growing up.

The only aspects she knew how to control was manipulating shadow people and manifesting them into a physical form, telekinesis, and hiding herself within the shadows.

Any other power she held only came out with impulse based on her emotional and mental state.

Although she couldn't control her powers unless they were triggered. She has no control over when it activates. 

Startled by the footsteps coming towards the kitchen, Dahlia quickly hid in the shadows escaping to her bedroom without anyone actively seeing her abilities.

Unfortunately for the young woman, even that attempt to hide anything from Friday had already been captured and alerted Tony and Captain Rogers.

Saying they were shocked while reviewing the security footage would be a heavy understatement.

"She h-has powers? I- I- I th-thought she was just a simple assassin." Tony stammered.

Steve sighed wishing they could listen to the audio but Dahlia had always requested for Friday to keep every single conversation she has muted for her comfort and privacy as a condition on her staying with the Avengers.

Steve sighed as he continued watching the footage on a loop.

The more he watched

The more he noticed little things in her behavior tells.

Her body language, the tears that started streaming down her face before her powers triggered, the tense posture.

By that alone, he already knew that whatever triggered her abilities to manifest, started with an intense emotional reaction.

Whatever it was, he was determined to make sure that she would never have to go through that again for her powers to trigger. She just needed time to herself, and the right training in order to get everything under control.

Dahlia sat on the floor in her room with her legs up to her chest. She buried her face in her knees, taking deep breaths to calm down. Once her anger subsided she felt her eyes morph back to normal. 

A gentle tap on her arm shocked Dahlia out of her position as she jolted herself back away from the unknown force.

Catching herself against her palms she looked at the figure that was kneeling in the middle of the room to match her height, making sure she knew it meant no harm. "Shit." She whispered. 

With a wave of her hand the shadow figure had manifested into someone she hadn't needed to see for 15 years.  

"Heya gorgeous, been a long time." Xander greeted.

Dahlia looked at him with tears in her eyes as she realized why he had become part of the physical part of her life again.

She was going  through a dark time, so her inner darkness would always come out to protect her when she couldn't be reliable to do so herself. 

Xander looked down at the young woman with a determination to make her feel better.

"Come on gorgeous, we haven't seen each other since we were seven years old and I helped beat up the bullies. I'm only here now since you're going through a big turning point in your life and you can't lock yourself away from socializing to someone. You'll only drive yourself crazy trying to isolate from any form of society." He conveyed.

Dahlia let his words sink in.

It hurt to admit but he was right.

Seeing as she was still processing this new information Xander took this moment to bring her to bed.

Being well acquainted with the young woman, he laid next to her on the bed, pulling her close to his chest for comfort. 

Dahlia automatically snuggled into Xander's chest. She missed having her best friend around. When she was young, he came and went so quickly that she always wondered if he was just a dream at times.

After a moment she pulled away slightly to observe her friend that she had not been in contact with for a while.

"What happened to you?" She whispered, referring to the scars on his face.

Xander took one of her hands in his, separating her fingers gently. It was a sweet gesture, something they did when they were young to help him or her focus on any difficult conversation.

"Just because you may think I don't exist when I am not in your physical world doesn't mean I'm not a real entity at least Dahl. When I'm not here to protect you, to help you, to comfort you. I go back to the shadow world, a void, and when you are going through issues in your life... I form scars. Depending on how much it has impacted you. As the main shadow figure in charge to protect you, our bond is just that powerful." He explained. 

The entire night Xander had explained to Dahlia what her powers are and how to control some of them up until she fell asleep.

He sighed sadly seeing the tear stains along her cheeks. He had never observed her so happy before until she had met Bucky. Never seen her so broken until Bucky. 

Xander watched over the young woman as she slept. Manipulating her dreams to something more peaceful whenever he sensed her heart rate picking up in pace.

That was the norm for Xander.

Always making sure that her escape from reality was as comfortable as possible. 

[jayteacups]

Got me thinking of Levi going to get his wisdom teeth removed. Everyone is suuuper excited with phones at the ready because he’s no doubt going to say some weird ass shit. They gotta record him. 📸

Instead he’s super super normal and straight faced. Super tired 😪 It’s only once they put their phones away that he starts mumbling nonsense.

TAY i’m so sorry this has taken so long. I’m FINALLY clearing out my inbox and drafts folder and completely forgot that this has been sitting here for like... months. It’s been finished for ages, I just forgot to queue it up to post 😭😭 pls forgive me

Anyways enjoy these hcs. hope this isn’t too cringe

Levi getting his wisdom teeth removed

Now, he obviously did not want anybody other than you to know he was getting his wisdom teeth removed, clearly because he a) actually gets pretty nervous for any medical procedure, and b) does not want people to record him high on pain meds 

Somehow, though, Hange finds out (because they always find out) 

And they set up camp at your and Levi’s shared apartment to surprise you two when you drive him home from the appointment 

You groan and sigh upon unlocking the door and just hearing many footsteps pattering towards the front door, and you instantly raise your eyebrows at the culprit. Hange just shrugs and says they had to be there

Connie’s struggling to contain his laughter as he and Sasha not-so-discreetly take their phones out and start recording him. You try and whack the phones away but Mikasa, with a straight face, pulls up her hand-held DS camera saying something about this going in the family home-made videos (because the Ackerman family--and by that I mean Kuchel because she’s alive and well in this universe--always makes home-made video compilations of the year), Historia high-fives Mikasa, and you sigh. To his credit Eren looks terrified that he even got roped into this at all, the poor boy is sweating like CRAZY. Jean’s not faring much better to be completely honest. Weirdly enough, Armin looks mildly entertained.

They’re expecting Levi to be super loopy and out of it, but other than feeling a little woozy and needing to put an arm around you so that he can stumble into the house without the risk of tripping, he seems perfectly lucid. More like he has a bad headache than being on pain meds.

Immediately upon seeing the audience, he gives them his trademark glare, swipes for Connie’s phone and successfully snatches it out of the boy’s hand, and gives it to you for safekeeping. He’s cussing them out as normal, telling them to ‘get out of [his] hair and leave him be’ without any actual bite to it, and even though there’s gauze in his mouth and his jaw is swollen he sounds relatively normal. 

Sighing in disappointment everyone puts away their phones, which makes you sigh with relief as everybody skirts around you, letting you help Levi get settled on the sofa, even as he continues to protest that he can sit down and get cozy by his damn self, thank you very much. 

Though they did initially show up in the hopes they’d catch him saying something stupid, the group is willing to help you take care of him (to which he protests that he doesn’t need half a dozen mother hens) so they stick around, make soup, clean up after the mess they made (because Sasha broke into the biscuit tins whilst they were waiting for you and Levi to come home)

All the while, you’re preparing an ice pack for his swollen face and constantly reciting to yourself the exact words the doctors told you about how long the bandages and gauze need to stay on etc. etc., and everybody is now so hyperfocused on making sure he’s comfortable that they almost miss it when Levi slowly shuffles up to you on the couch, swaddled in blankets, and mumbles ‘if i was a coffee order at starbucks, what would i be?’

Everyone who’s in earshot freezes. You stifle a laugh. ‘you don’t even drink coffee let alone like it, why’d you wanna know? besides, i’m sure there’s a buzzfeed quiz for that if you’re really curious.’ 

He’s shaking his head, mumbling something incoherently, and when you ask him to speak up, he says ‘I don’t trust buzzfeed’. 

‘Why not?’

It goes onto a very strange tangent about a conspiracy theory that buzzfeed is one huge social experiment by some shady private corporation that keeps their identity a secret, then he talks a bunch about how he can hear the voices of all the flies and bugs he’s squished over his lifetime. 

you usher everybody out before they can begin recording or witness him tearing up over all the bugs he’s killed, but then he turns around and says ‘but if I were a coffee i’d be black coffee. black like my soul’

This is the breaking point for you and you cackle. ‘sure,’ you’re getting out inbetween wheezes, ‘sure you are’. He’s immediately falling asleep afterwards leaving you to just sit there on the couch giggling. 

You tell Levi everything he says when he’s lucid again and he vehemently denies everything. especially the part where he felt sorry about all the creepy crawlies he’d killed. 

Levi x Reader Masterlist | AOT Masterlist

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

𝐀 𝐌𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 - Steven Grant

this has been sitting in my drafts for months, but i finally got the motivation to finish it lmao. Happy Thanksgiving for those who celebrate! Gobble gobble bitches🦃

Warnings: mentions of The Blip, implied PTSD, a slight sprinkle of angst, and fluff. that's it, I think

word count | 4.3K🤙🏻

You never took the bus. In all your years of living in London, you had only ridden the bus a handful of times. You usually ride your bike most places, especially to work. Eco friendly, your friend called it, not that you really cared. But it just so happens, that your bike was stolen. So, your hand was forced.

You worked at a bookstore, and you liked it well enough. After being Blipped for five years, your parents decided to give you their store, they were getting old and couldn’t take care of it as much as they could before; plus, they thought it would make you happy and get your mind off being dusted out of existence for so long. And it did, to a certain extent. You were happy surrounded by books, but all the years you missed out on was still nagging at the back of your mind. Your therapist said it would get better with time. But other than the feeling that something horrific could happen at any given moment constantly plaguing your mind, you were content with life; but there was one thing still missing.

You weren’t the best at dating, never had been. Every time you thought you found “the one” or just a genuinely good person, they’d come with a serious hamartia that they were hiding, one that you usually would find out a good couple months into a relationship. But then again, you were also very picky as your parents would say, but you just had standards. You’d think living in such a big city would give you a few good options at least. But alas, you were probably doomed to live the rest of your life in solitude.

You didn’t really notice at first, often stuck in your own little world, but you finally realized that you saw the same man on your bus almost every day on your way to work. It wasn’t that big of a deal, if only he wasn’t so handsome. You never considered yourself to be much of a shallow person, knowing that personality is what really counts, but you couldn’t help yourself to gawk when this man wasn’t looking. Maybe it was his shy and disheveled demeanor that intrigued you, or maybe it was that you were being so utterly vain that his strong jawline and dark brown eyes awakened some primal force within you that drew you to him. But considering how horrid you are at making the first move, you’d never know.

Your silly little crush didn’t go away. It didn’t help that your bookstore was right across the street from the museum he worked at. You felt like a stalker, knowing where he worked and eventually learning his name when he forgot to take his name tag off one night. Steven. It suited him. You thought about visiting the museum once, but that would definitely be stalkerish behavior, but anyone was allowed into museums, right? It wouldn’t be weird if he were to visit your bookshop. Then again, if some dude were staring at you every time you got onto the bus and suddenly paid a visit, you would probably call 999. 

Yeah, you decided against it.

It wasn’t until one early morning that forced you to confront this crush. Steven entered the bus with dark circles under his eyes, more pronounced than usual. He looked like he could’ve fallen over any given moment, he looked like he hadn’t slept in ages. You tried not to tense up when he took a seat next to you, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest. You prayed you could act like a normal human being until the bus ride was over. But then, almost half way to work, he did something you never would’ve expected. He leaned his head on your shoulder.

Your eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets. It only took a couple seconds to realize that he didn’t do it on purpose, poor thing fell asleep and his head naturally lolled to the side, where your shoulder just so happened to be. You had no idea what to do. Do you wake him up? He’s just a stranger, this is weird and he definitely should not be doing this. But he looked so peaceful, and he did look like he had gotten absolutely no sleep. But would he think it would be weird if he knew you just let him sleep on you? You hoped no one else could see how panicked you looked.

You felt your face heat up as you ultimately decided to let the exhausted man remain situated against your shoulder, the bus ride was almost over anyway. You felt your nails dig into your palms, trying to focus on anything but the warm feeling that radiated throughout your body. As the bus rolled to a stop, you gently nudged the sleeping man until he sat straight up with wide eyes, clearly disoriented. He looked at you in confusion before uttering a quick apology before he made his quick escape from the awkward situation. You didn’t blame him, but you did feel a little embarrassed yourself, even though you probably had no reason to be.

You thought about that bus ride all day, your brain fogged over and distracted from your work, the bells that sounded off any time someone would enter the store being the only reality check that would snap you back from your racing mind. A part of you just wanted to buy another bike, never take the bus ever again, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to afford it, not now at least. Maybe you could just walk all the miles back to your flat…in the dark…without the proper means to protect yourself…yeah, awkward situations were more appealing than the threat of getting jumped in an alleyway.

You hoped Steven wouldn’t be on the nightly bus ride home like he usually was, only occasionally he would work late, but that just wasn’t in the works for you. How lucky. Apparently it was a busy night, people coming and going, it was a Friday to be fair. But there were no empty seats as he boarded the bus, being the last person, only one was empty, one next to you. You felt like a regular old Mary Sue. And you could tell by his expression that he was panicked, clearly not forgetting what happened that morning.

You wore a tight lipped smile as he walked towards you, the bus suddenly moving jolting him a bit forwards with a stumble, but he quickly tried to brush it off with suave. “Uh, is this seat taken?” The man asked timidly, his hand slightly shaking as he pointed to the spot next to you.

Obviously not. “No, go ahead.” You smiled, more genuinely that time, feeling that familiar heat rise up to your face as he settled next to you.

“Cheers.” He nervously smiled back, hugging his satchel close to his chest.

You couldn’t help but smirk as you noticed his eyes already started to droop shut, the man wearing exhaustion like it was second nature. It also made you a little sad. “Hope you get some sleep tonight, maybe you won’t fall asleep on me again in the morning.” You chuckled, not being able to resist teasing him slightly.

“Oh, goodness.” The man cringed at himself, turning to face you with a guilty expression. “I’m so sorry about that, miss. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay!” You cut him off with a giggle. “You don’t have to apologize, I get it. I’m not a morning person either. Sorry if me not waking you up right away was weird, I just didn’t have the heart to when you looked so tired.” If you weren’t blushing already, you most certainly were now.

“Ah, it’s not weird. I appreciate it actually. Your shoulder was very comfortable.”

“Jeez, how awful is your bed if you think this boney shoulder is anywhere close to being comfortable?” You laughed softly, a shy smile stretching across his face. “I’m Y/n, by the way. Thought you should know considering I already know yours.” You gently flicked the name tag that was still pinned to his jacket. “Nice to meet you, Steven.”

The next morning you were greeted with Steven’s smiling face, that nervousness behind it making it more endearing. You didn’t hesitate to take a seat next to him, feeling more confident now that you’ve actually had a conversation with the man. So far, he seemed sweet, shy but sweet. He definitely seemed worth your interest, you wanted to get to know him. Hopefully he felt the same.

“A gift shop-ist? I don’t think that’s a word.” You chuckled. “Why not just a salesperson?”

Steven shrugged. “Doesn’t sound that much more appealing, now, does it? Well, what do you do? Where do you work?”

“I own the bookstore right across the street from the museum. So, I guess that makes me a bookstore-ist.” You giggled at your own joke, Steven letting out a small amused snort making you feel better about it.

“Oh, a bookworm, are you?”

“Yeah, I guess. I’ve always liked reading. The store was my parents, but they passed the baton over to me. I like it.”

“Huh, I’ll have to check it out sometime.”

“And I’ll have to check out the museum. Don’t know much about Egyptian history, but maybe you’ll be my tour guide?”

“If my boss doesn’t get on my arse about it. Well, eh, it doesn't matter. I’ll be happy to take time out of my super busy schedule to teach you all about all the pharaohs and gods and anything else that won’t bore you to death.” He grinned.

“Well, with you teaching me I’m sure I’ll never get bored.” You were thankful the bus finally arrived, the somewhat intense eye contact the two of you shared was getting a bit much for you to handle. “Well, see you later!” You waved as you started to walk to your workplace, Steven replying with a cute little “laters gators.”

It didn’t take too long before you and Steven got close, well, you thought so anyway. The two of you would always sit or stand next to each other on the bus each morning and night. Sometimes, you’d even visit each other’s place of work. You learned each other’s coffee orders, so you’d sometimes surprise each other with coffee. The first time you did it, Steven wore the cutest flustered expression on his face. So far, you two were friendly. Just friendly. You knew you wanted more, you just didn’t know if he felt the same, or even how to bring it up. You’d been out of the game for so long you didn’t even think you remembered how to kiss a person. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself or get rejected, you didn’t know if you could handle that.

Talking to your sibling about it, they just told you to get over the stupid fear and just ask the man out. Of course, it was easy for them to say, they were more outgoing and fearless. For once, you wish you could’ve turned off your introvertedness and anxiety. You got good vibes from Steven, he seemed perfect. Too perfect. And your track record showed that perfect meant they were less than perfect. You were a bit of a pessimist, you hated that about yourself, but it’s probably what had saved you from one too many toxic relationships. On the surface, Steven looked like he’d never even hurt a fly. You wondered what was underneath that timid exterior. But maybe there wasn’t, only time would tell.

It was a cold dreary morning when your feelings started to spiral out of control. You seemed to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, feeling sour for no particular reason. Just one of those days, you supposed. You had trouble hiding your mood on your face, Steven seemed to notice it immediately as soon as you boarded the bus. He had asked you what was the matter, but you just brushed him off by saying the weather dampened your spirit. Later, he had brought you a hot cup of coffee on his break, saying that days like these needed some warmth, which in turn made you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. You encouraged him to look around, knowing that he enjoyed reading as well. It was hard to concentrate on working when he was walking about with an awestruck expression, gently running his fingers over the spines of the various books that lined the shelves. “Do you have any books about Egypt?” Steven called out from across the room.

“Yeah, some. On aisle 6, along with other history books.” You pointed out, smiling to yourself as Steven walked to the designated aisle with a skip in his step. He asked about a specific author, wondering if their new book was in stock, clearly anxious to read it. “No, sorry.” You frowned sympathetically after looking it up in inventory. “I can see if it’s available somewhere else?”

Steven shook his head. “That’s alright. Wouldn’t expect it to be anywhere, the author isn't very well known and there's probably not many copies out there. But thanks for looking.”

And that’s when you got the idea. You weren’t good with words, but you loved buying people gifts. When the holidays rolled around, you were an expert at gift giving, you pride yourself on it. Maybe you could express your feelings by buying him this book he wanted so much. It was a bit pricey, being scarce and all, but you could afford it and you wanted to see the smile on Steven’s face, if just for a moment. Before you could think about it any longer, you clicked the purchase button.

And oh man, was it a long anxious wait for the book to arrive. You had to order it from a different country, so obviously it was going to take a while. But you were impatient, and you counted the seconds until you heard the sweet shrill sound of your doorbell ringing, excitement bubbling up in your chest as you opened the door to find the package exactly where you expected to find it. You hoped Steven would be as happy as you were, and you didn’t even want the book for yourself.

You were disappointed when you didn’t see Steven on the bus the next morning. He probably just slept in again. You were so anxious to give the book to him, but then you didn’t see him all day, which was unusual. He usually paid you a visit at least once on his break. Then another day went by…then another. A whole week passed and you started to get worried. He wouldn’t answer your texts or calls, you even went to his work to ask for him but he hadn’t been in. You never pegged him as someone who would just up and disappear. But then again, how could you know that? You were practically just coffee buddies. Guess you got the book for nothing…

It was another week before Steven started showing up again, but you made a point not to even make eye contact with him, not even when he greeted you warmly as he sat next to you like nothing ever happened. From the corner of your eye, you could see his downcast and confused expression and you almost took pity on him. Almost. You probably should’ve seen it coming, there was always some fatal flaw about most people, your blinding crush on Steven made you forget. It was probably for the best, you only would’ve gotten hurt. Terrible timing though, you were at a point where you really needed a friend to talk to.

That constant feeling that something bad was going to happen at any given moment was proved correct. Thankfully, it wasn’t half the universe getting blipped out of existence, but it was almost just as mysterious and frightening. One night, the sky completely changed. It looked like a Van Goph painting, but instead of it making you feel a sense of peace and comfort like viewing the painting normally did, it terrified you. Seeing the sky warp out of focus, it brought on some severe panic attacks. What did this mean? What was happening and what consequences would it have on the world? It plagued your mind. But even after getting Blipped, you never really talked about it with anyone, not even your family. You just kept all these feelings bottled inside, not wanting to burden anyone with your problems. With every new supernatural phenomena, you felt all these feelings begging to come to the surface. You couldn’t have that, you had responsibilities. But with Steven...he seemed like the type of person that you could actually talk to, if it weren’t for him ghosting you. You’d just have to keep it all inside a bit longer.

Stepping off the bus without a word to Steven made you feel hollow, cold without the coffee he usually would bring you as you both make jokes and bitched about the morning weather typically being foggy and/or rainy. It was one of those mornings, and it just made you feel worse. It was also a slow day, barely anyone coming into your store which was unusual, especially on a rainy day. You felt sluggish, not interacting with anyone made you feel like a lifeless zombie. You just wanted a customer, just one. But as soon as Steven walked in, you immediately regretted that sentiment.

You could instantly sense Steven’s nervousness as he walked up to your counter, hands fidgeting with one another and keeping his gaze fixed anywhere but you. “Hiya.” He spoke softly, an unconvincing smile on his lips.

“How can I help you today, sir?” Your bluntness made him blink in shock, obviously not expecting you to be so cold. You were being petty and you hated it, but you couldn’t help yourself. It was an annoying habit to be passive aggressive, and seeing the deepening frown on Steven’s face just made you feel worse.

He sighed. “Look, I-” He stuttered, “I know you’re probably wondering why I disappeared. And I know you might be upset-”

“Might?” You scoffed, biting your lip, trying not to let your emotions get the better of you. “We talked every day, Steven. And then all of a sudden, you’re gone. Without a word or reason why. So, yeah, sorry if I can’t help being a bit upset.” You chuckled bitterly, sighing sadly when you saw him shrinking away from your words. “And…I was worried. I thought that, I guess that I’d never see you again.”

“You were really worried? About me?”

“I mean, yeah. You’re, like, my only friend.” You blushed.

“Oh, wow, really?” He chuckled in disbelief.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just…man, you could do so much better than me. I’m just this ball of anxiety. I don’t know how being friends with someone like me could be very nice.”

You frowned, saddened by his lack of self confidence. “Come on, Steven. Don’t be so hard on yourself. But you did seriously worry me. Where did you go? What even happened?” Steven looked up at you with wide eyes, fidgeting with the ends of his jacket. He looked like he was having a conversation with himself, his gaze becoming blank and unfocused, then looking back at you like he had forgotten you were even standing there. It didn’t make you hopeful that you were going to get an answer, and the realization made you deflate with a sigh. “You’re not gonna tell me.” You stated.

Steven gave you a sympathetic frown, his eyes already pleading for forgiveness without having to say anything. “I would, truly, I would. But I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s…complicated.”

You shook your head, trying to ignore your throat tightening and your already stinging eyes. You wore a tight lipped smile, taking a deep breath and meeting his gaze once more. “You don’t have to apologize. You don’t owe me anything, it’s not like you’re my boyfriend or anything.” You chuckled bitterly, quietly excusing yourself to the bathroom before Steven had a chance to say anything else.

You hated crying, for any reason; and you especially didn’t like crying because of someone else, it wasn’t worth it. But you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing as soon as you closed and locked the door to the store’s bathroom. You covered your mouth to muffle the inevitably whimpers and squeaks that escaped your lips. You prayed that Steven couldn’t hear you, if he was even still in the store. Probably not, you felt like you must’ve scared him off. But to your surprise, you froze in place when you saw him still at your register. You quickly noticed the item in his hands and your heart felt like it was going to implode.

Neatly wrapped in Egyptian themed wrapping paper, a sandy white texture decorated with gold hieroglyphics with a simple post-it note on top that read ‘Steven’, the book that you went through hell to get for the man but never ended up giving to him. A desperate attempt to get him to realize your growing feelings for him. The gesture felt silly now, you certainly felt silly as Steven looked at you expectantly. “Sorry, it’s just…it had my name on it.” He explained with a slight stutter. You cursed yourself for not just leaving it at home where it would be safe from prying eyes. Maybe you should’ve chosen a more subtle paper so that it wouldn’t stand out as much as the gold. “I didn’t want to open it without your permission.” Ever the gentleman, huh?

Despite not being in the friendliest mood and still recovering from your quick cry in the bathroom, you shrugged and motioned for him to go ahead and open it. If only he hadn’t found it, then you could’ve just given it away or something and never have to think about it again. That would’ve been easier.

You waited with bated breath as Steven gently unwrapped the gift, careful not to tear the paper too much, as if it cost more than seven pounds. You almost didn’t want to look at him as the actual book started to peek through, the title flashing in white bold font smack dab in the center of the cover. It was only when the wrapping paper was completely off did you steal a glance at Steven’s face.

Your heart pounded as Steven's face immediately lit up with pure happiness, a wide grin spreading across his face and his bright eyes glancing back and forth between you and the book. "It's the book I wanted..." He said in disbelief. "You...bought this for me?" He stuttered.

You shrugged. "Yeah, who else would it be for? There's no one else I know obsessed with Egyptian history."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to."

There was a deafening silence for a moment where Steven just looked at you with an expression you could only describe as awe, like you just hung the moon and stars and how lucky he must've been to be in your presence. But of course, your insecurities told you that wasn't the case, it would never be that case.

"Thank you..." He whispered, so softly you had to strain to hear it. "This means a lot to me, really. I'll pay you back."

"No." You said immediately. "No, Steven. It was a gift. I didn't get this for you and expected anything in return."

Steven sighed, placing the book down gently on the counter, taking a step closer to you. "Look, I-...I'm not good at not being my awkward self, especially in front of such a beautiful person. I never wanted you to be angry with me. I have a lot of secrets, and I know that doesn't sound like the type of person you'd want to spend your time with. But if you let me...I'd love to take you out. And maybe we could get close enough where I can tell you all those secrets. But I understand if you never wanna talk to me again..."

You were blushing fiercely, your cheeks heating up you could practically feel your blood boiling just beneath your skin. You never expected Steven to be so bold, even though it didn't exactly sound that bold with his stuttering and slight waver in his voice. But it flustered you all the same. You rarely ever met someone and wanted to know all their secrets, but he made it sound so alluring. Tantalizing, like learning more and more about him was some incredible journey you had the opportunity to venture on. Him disappearing for a while and not telling you why was one thing, but you could sense another red flag in that speech of his somewhere. But the way he was looking at you, his pleading eyes, those big brown enchanting eyes that you wanted to get lost in. You didn't have the heart to say anything but yes.

"You really want to go out with me?" You voiced almost breathlessly.

Steven smiled wide. "Of course I do, darling. Since the first time we had a conversation, you made me feel like I could have something in my life other than chaos. You made...you make me feel at peace."

You chuckled bashfully, practically putty in his hands already. "How chaotic could the life of a gift shop-ist be?"

"Go out on a date with me and I'll tell you. What do you say?"

"Yes." You smiled. "I say yes."

jeez, finally took a break from posting only smut lmao. i miss steven, my baby boy🥺

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Comeback Celebration: Current Top Ten StayC Songs

So this has been sitting in my drafts since March... but that worked out great, actually, since today we're getting their FIRST FULL ALBUM !!! HAPPY STAYC COMEBACK Y'ALL !!! When it comes to the highs of StayC's discography, I really think that no one can do what they do. My appreciation for their work has grown slowly but steadily--I was only a casual listener of their debut, so it was actually "ASAP" that made me a fan. Then, the Stereotype comeback got them on my stan list, and with the "Run2U" comeback, they became my favorite kpop group (sorry, Twice and Mamamoo, I still love y'all!). Revisiting StayC's earlier songs for this list, I was actually surprised by how impeccably their music has aged--I love this group even more than I thought I did!

1. 247

The queen herself! I think I've done a few other write-ups about this song in my time on Tumblr, and it hasn't gotten any less perfect after two years. "247" really leans into the lofi side of StayC's signature sound, but it has a hell of a kick to it, too. I absolutely could not fall asleep to this one, or do homework while leaving it on repeat, because I would be stimming too hard--how could I not, with a beat like that? That staticky beat commands the song, and you can't even get used to it because it's constantly morphing, surprising you with little offbeats. In contrast, StayC's vocals are a sugar rush, as high and melodic as the beat is low and grating. This is StayC at the top of their game in both production & performance, and the result is a song that gets more dazzling the more intently you listen for its details.

2. Slow Down

It took me a while to notice this one--"Stereotype" and "Complex" had all my attention when the Stereotype album first dropped, but when "Slow Down" finally had its turn in my rotation, I knew the others just couldn't compete. I'm always here for the 10 hours chill lofi beats to study to style of song from StayC, but it's not just the production I love here. The members really add to the song--I especially adore the precision with which they handle the first verse, even as it just runs and runs and runs and runs headfirst into the prechorus. The rap in the bridge docks "Slow Down" a couple of points in my book, but the "haste makes waste" ad-lib wins those back easily.

3. Complex

And here's "Complex" !! This is the song that made StayC my favorite group--from the beginning, it's been brain-cleaning music for my soul. I find it hard to place what, exactly, makes StayC's music so special to me, but "Complex" has it for sure. It's something about the way the members enunciate sharply, but not aggressively, I think. "Complex" is a soft, understated song, but the StayC ladies are masters of enunciation--their performances, strong and confident, give the song these sharp edges that keep me absolutely captivated. StayC's music, soothing but not understimulating, is just so perfect for my sensory sensitivities, and that's what I mean when I say I feel like StayC's style was designed just for me.

4. So What

This was too obnoxious for me when it first came out--maybe because Itzy still ran the girl group landscape in 2021, so I was not in need of another 'sassy & self-confident but also cutesy & girly' type of song? "So What" got me eventually, though; I think it was during the "Beautiful Monster" comeback that this track became a regular fixture in my playlists. "So What" has some of the Itzy magic--flat verses set against soaring melodic choruses, a downright strange instrumental in the prechorus--but it has a lot of StayC magic too, I think. I can't be sure this is inspired by 8-bit music, but the chorus definitely has the sound of a retro video game. (If you've been enjoying that sound lately, you should definitely check this one out!) "So What" is more energetic than a lot of the others on this list, but it's just as cozy and comforting as they are--as the chorus hits you with a barrage of clashing instrumental bits, the vocals get softer and sweeter to balance it out, and the bridge could have been taken straight out of an IU ballad.

5. Run2U

It's kind of unfortunate that this one came out when it did--the music video for "Run2U" dropped right before a really major, terrifying event in my life, so I was replaying it all the time in the months when that event happened. As much as I enjoy "Run2U", I don't listen to it much anymore--it transports me back a little too well. (Luckily for me, the b-sides from this album managed to escape the Bad Memory Vortex!) "Run2U" is an absolutely perfect song, though, stuffed with hooks and textures that my brain loves to chew on. While revisiting "Run2U" for this list, I understood exactly why I was replaying the song so maniacally in the months after it came out (it was my most-listened song of 2022, and I think all those listens were from between February and April). The soaring vocals, the angelic chimes, the beat that feels somehow 3D? It's too much to process on just one listen--or just two, or just three... This could honestly be my favorite StayC song in an alternate universe--it's such a grand statement of just how much this group is capable of!! (And it turns the pop-princess aspect of their style up to 100, which I, as a Twice stan, am legally obligated to love.)

6. ASAP

Rhyming "copy" with "decalcomanie" is the kind of audacity I like to see in a first comeback (only Lightsum has been more audacious--I love you, Lightsum, you'll get your own textpost one day). Though the production & songwriting for this spring lofi sunny day 1 hour chill beats mix sound would be perfected in StayC's later comebacks, the members perform the hell out of this one. Even before "Complex", they had the skill with enunciation to bring some real bite to the quirky-cute girl group sound! Also, that piano in the bridge is glorious.

7. I Like It

You could probably argue that this is just a dollar-store version of "Slow Down" and "So What", and I would probably agree with you--but like, I like this one, okay? I like how Yoon sings "I got my shades on" in the opening; I like the chanted bit in the second prechorus (GWAENCHANA NE TASI ANIJANA !!!!!); I like the whole damn chorus!! I think this one needed a lot more time in the oven production-wise, but I still find it super listenable. The members help "I Like It" flow smoothly despite its clumsy production, and the harmonies alone are worth coming back for.

8. Beautiful Monster

Despite some really clumsy production choices (this album was... interesting, to say the least!), I can't help but love this one--I find myself revisiting it a whole lot. (But, like, what are those claps leading into the chorus. Why are they so loud. Could you just... uh... blend them in, just a little bit? Like, could you just make them sound like they're actually coming from, like, the same song as the rest of the track? Anyway...) "Beautiful Monster" is a super-memorable showcase of StayC's vocals, though, so it's a classic in my book--those bordering-on-wailing high notes remind me of the most emotional moments in GFRIEND songs, and they're scattered throughout all of "Beautiful Monster", and they still hit like bricks every single time?? My heart was not ready for this song.

9. Stereotype

Another classic! This is one of those songs that really makes me think no one can make music quite like StayC's--like, "Stereotype" should not be as interesting as it is. It should not echo in my bones the way it does. We know StayC can bring their songs to stunningly high highs --see: "Run2U" and "Beautiful Monster"--but "Stereotype" manages to be an infinitely satisfying listen without any showstopping moments. This is like the sweeter version of "247"--it takes an even softer approach, but it still has that kick to it, like the sour part of a sip of lemonade or the fizz in lime soda. Admittedly, I don't listen to this one very frequently--I really should be obsessing over it a lot more, but the b-sides from this comeback really stole the show for me (see: "Slow Down" & "Complex" at spots 2 & 3 on this list). "Stereotype" completely deserved its success, though! It's really a perfect encapsulation of the pop-princess-meets-lofi aesthetic that makes StayC stand out.

10. Poppy (Japanese or Korean ver.)

Yes, we get one song from StayC's 2023, at least. (Look, 2023 wasn't really their year, but I needed a break from constantly gushing about how great their music is, anyway!) I think everyone else in the world would have this one on their list, too--I remember when "Poppy" took the fandom by storm, though I didn't get the appeal at the time. I'm sold on it now, though! "Poppy" is a pretty straightforward dance track, but the textures in the instrumental are unique enough that I find it an interesting, enjoyable listen whenever it comes up on shuffle.

Honorable Mentions: So Bad (vocals. oh my god the vocals.), Like This, Butterfly, I Want U Baby (that chorus is a real gem, i hum it to myself all the time), Love (i bring this one out every summer !!), Not Like You

[ostrichmonkey-games]

DEATHGRIND!!MEGASTRUCTURE Design Dive

Wow this has been sitting in my drafts, mostly finished for ages now. Anyways, time to release it to the wilds.

A few weeks ago I released a new game (editor's note: it has now been more than a few weeks), DEATHGRIND!!MEGASTRUCTURE for the Together We Go Jam over on itch. Together We Go is a design guide/SRD based on Down We Go, which itself is under the often nebulous umbrella of "OSR" gaming. In this case, it's the snappy mechanics, emphasis on anti-canon, relatively high lethality, and emphasis on the table's creativity is what puts it under that umbrella, imo. I'd consider it part of the maybe post-osr or N(ew)SR but that's a discussion for another time and for people who understand that scene better than me. I was drawn to TWG b/c it's a pretty simple framework with a cool twist on the typical OSR style of classes.

Rather than picking a class, you invest levels into multiple classes as you progress, with each class having its own set of cool abilities and more importantly, bonuses. One class might give you a bonus to hit things, another increases your defense. Stuff like that. It's pretty fun! A full breakdown on DWG/TWG could be fun sometime.

Now, time for the DEATHGRIND!!MEGASTRUCTURE stuff beneath the cut! It's long!

WRITING AND DESIGN

Anyway, DGMS. Originally I had the brain-blast of a title for the eventual game; Hyperpop Megastructure. Which honestly, could be very fun to revisit, but I scrapped that angle because I didn't want to do too much on the layout/graphic design side of things (editor's note; he did in fact do too much on the layout/graphic design side of things) and a hyperpop inspired game should have a wild layout. Also I'm just not familiar enough with the genre to really do it service -lmao.

I stuck with the Megastructure part for the time being and started brainstorming the potential classes (since those make the mechanical core of the game). Below are the early versions straight from my notes;

These were the initial outlines for the classes (a 4th was added later) and really set the tone for the rest of the game (and it marks the first appearance of the FRACTALDEATHMACHINE). By that point, I knew I wanted to do something inspired by BLAME! by Tsutomu Nihei. Its the first thing I always think of when the word "megastructure" comes up. Honestly, it's a very formative piece of sci-fi for me.

I wanted to push DGMS weirder. Just go all out on the nonsense. Together We Go games don't rely on a lot of setting exposition. The information of the world is found within the mechanics, random tables, gear, and factions that are presented.

This is what forms the central idea of an "anti-canon". You (the writer) give just enough info on the world and setting for the table to get started, but the details, the lore and truths about that world emerge at the table as the Referee/GM and players explore and interact with what is on the paper.

The FRACTALDEATHMACHINE is the biggest example of this anti-canon in practice. All the table gets is a brief description of a few general things. The FDM is hungry, it is ancient, and it is always pursuing the TOWER. A few other places in the text provide more spaces for the table to explore by prompting the players and GM to come up with "terrible truths" about the nature of the FDM.

What is this insight? Why is it considered terrible? Go find out!

For DGMS I wrote a relatively short bit relaying the premise of the game to readers; you play as POST_human remnants within the ancient megastructure the TOWER which is constantly under threat by the ravenous FRACTALDEATHMACHINE.

Side note, I absolutely went bananas with funky proper nouns and formatting. Small things like that can really help convey the tone of the game!

And that's really about it for the setting assumptions. More details are tucked into descriptions of the factions, gear, classes, and locations you get to explore, but there aren't any answers out there. Its all up to the table to find those answers for themselves! What is the FRACTALDEATHMACHINE, why is it devouring the TOWER, can you stop it? Who knows!

Go find out!

MECHANICS

The core game mechanics fit onto a single page, and aren't really changed too much from the base TWG system. In general, its a straightforward "roll over a difficulty value" using a d20.

Three of the four classes give a special bonus either to hit things, defense, or "hacking" - the undefined "magic" of the game. The fourth class, the DLVR, gets a special situational bonus that implies something about their place in the world - a special bonus against ARCHITECT relics - something which furthers the potential for the table to explore the anti-canon. What exactly is their link to the ARCHITECTS?

Outside of the core mechanics and classes, there are two major parts of the game (and two slightly more minor-ish parts). The LAYERS of the TOWER and the CTY_enclave. LAYERS are effectively unmapped "dungeons". They are dangerous sections of the world where the "outside" adventures happen.

DWG uses mapped dungeons as its, well, dungeons. I've never been hugely into running or playing through mapped dungeons (though I appreciate a well thought out dungeon!) And also I'm lazy. So unmapped it is. LAYERS are essentially a compact list of hazards, hostiles, and interesting tid-bits for the referee to use to whip up something fun and dangerous.

TWG games have a punchy, fast-paced, high-lethality action, so in DGMS, I was far more concerned with providing refs a general template and list of Interesting Things, than complex maps or complicated enemies. The ref does far more responding to player actions than they do planning out complicated encounters. It is perfectly easy, in this sort of game, to just toss something at the players and see what happens!

Couple that with mechanics such as "reaction rolls" (randomly determining how NPCs react to players) and the ref's job starts to become plugging a few random variables into a mechanical procedure, seeing what gets spit out, and then asking players what they do next, and then continuing the whole loop! I love procedural gameplay, and could, and probably will, write more on that another time.

Aside from being the places where most of the adventures happen, LAYERS are also another way to package Interesting World bits. One of my favorite parts about writing for/designing this style of game, is that you rarely need justification for putting something in. I can say that in one LAYER, players will face a "MACHINE!!GOD blastula". And that's it! Everything about the nature of that thing is going to emerge at the table, and will almost always be way cooler than whatever deep lore I could have written for it! (Now, this doesn't mean that I don't enjoy writing some Dense Exposition, but time and place and all that).

The other half to the LAYERS is the CTY_enclave; the players homebase and secondary adventure site. I whipped up a quick mapping procedure for creating your CTY_enclave, and it shifts every time the players return to it from their adventures. There are different modules within the CTY. In some you can buy stuff, others you can get information and recover health. Some hide valuable resources but also equally hidden danger.

Just like LAYERS, I wanted to embed story-potential, that delicious anti-canon, into the CTY. Little nuggets of Ideas like, Conduit Riders in the middle of a death race, machine monks transporting a metal sarcophagus (that has a small chance of containing a copy of one player!), or gaining the ability to commune with the FRACTALDEATHMACHINE itself, are breadcrumbs that could turn into larger story beats and adventures if the players and table invest their own interpretation and meaning into them!

Aside from that, the main Design Bit I did for the CTY is the mapping method. A hub location is part of the TWG vibe, but I felt that one, mapping using dice is fun, and two, a constantly, randomly shifting hub really suited the tone and setting of the game.

The last two main parts of the game are the gear and hostile lists. Again, they have surface purposes - cool stuff to Get, cool stuff to Fight (and get killed by) - but also help provide more of that anti-canon scaffolding (I am really going to need to do a whole thing on anti-canon at some point).

LAYOUT AND GRAPHIC DESIGN

And here's where my hubris caught up with me. What initially was going to be a nice, simple, streamlined layout, ended up being over the top. But it was super fun to make, so no need for me to learn any lessons here.

When designing layout, I tend to start with some cover ideas and mockups. Since BLAME! was such a large thematic inspiration, I also looked at its covers (specifically the Master Edition versions). I love the brutalist inspired graphic design, and wanted to carry that into DGMS, and then add a layer of grunge and wear and tear to it as well.

I played around a lot with masks and textures (there's literally a picture of concrete that I turned into a texture) before eventually landing on the looks you can see on the cover. Then it was also a matter of perusing fonts for text, headers, etc, etc.

For the interior, I made heavy use of Lone Archivist's Graphic Archive asset packs. They rule. Buy them here.

I made my life infinitely more difficult by making every single page different and unique, but it was also a fun art project, so I don't regret that. I didn't spend too much time on typesetting, because this was technically a game jam entry (though I did clean it up later when the game ended up getting printed).

And honestly, that takes us to the end. My process was kind of all over the place for making the final version, a lot of jumping between the text and layout. But it ended up being a very fun project with one of my favorite final results.

If you're interested in picking up the game yourself, you can snag the digital version off my itch page HERE (there's currently a handful of free community copies if you wanna try before you buy) and if you're interested in print copies, Plus One EXP has you covered over HERE.

Spencer of Gila RPGs also made a fantastic 5-minute overview of the game you can watch;

And! Tony hosted a stream that I GMed if you want to see how the game is in action;

But yeah, DEATHGRIND!!MEGASTRUCTURE. It's one of my favorite games I've made!

[bluberimufim]

Writerly questionaire

I was tagged by @xenascribbles (read its post here btw!!) and I've been wanting to do it for a while (it's been so long ago, I'm sorry!!!) because it sounds interesting. Unfortunately, it's long and I am NOT concise.

I'll just leave the tags here: @squarebracket-trickster, @full-on-sam, @olliexwrites, @macabremoons, and @cheeto-flavoured-pasta + anyone else who wants to join!!

About me:

When did you first start writing?

I think I've mentioned this before, but I started writing in 5th/6th grade to kind of codify the lore and story of my friend group's playground activities (because a series of drawings was just not cutting it). Then, we collectively found out I enjoyed it and my friends started asking for fanfics of books we all liked.

Are the general themes you read different from the ones you write?

I don't really go out looking for the themes of a story, I usually focus on interesting plots or characters when I'm shopping for books (I know themes inform story and characters but you know what I mean). Also most themes in my stories are 100% a posteriori (DoS was my first time having themes in mind as I was writing). I usually write the 1st draft and go "oh shit, a theme".

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (room, coffee shop, desk, etc)

I mostly write in my room, usually sitting on my bed because I hate chairs. But I would be remiss if I didn't mention my college's big auditorium, specifically during boring architectural theory lessons. Any project of mine has been at least 30% written during class time, I can assure you.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

I go for a Really Long Walk while listening to music. And fun fact: I've had to make my walks bigger because of this, because when I'm having Thoughts I start speedwalking like a crazy person and it was genuinely shortening my Idea Time because I got home too quickly.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I wouldn't say it's a 1 to 1 thing, but I think the environments in our lives always afects us. In terms of the places I write about, I think my fascination with circuses and magic shows (from which came B&W) stems from the fact that there are no good ones around here. The ones from my childhood were genuinely so lame. But I think mostly it's the way I was raised? My parents are artists and they've made a point of showing me all kinds of art since, like... ever, and I feel like it really influenced me as a person and, therefore, my writing.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

A few years back, I noticed a tendency in my main characters to feel a great sense of nostalgia towards the past, in a way? There was a very prevalent sense of "things were ok at a previous point in my life but not now and I wanna go back". I don't really understand where this came from tho.

My characters:

Would you please tell me about your favorite character? (Current wip, past wip, never used)

I am, on every level, deeply insane about every single named character in DoS. But mainly Seth and General Fallin. I just think they're really interesting. I particularly like the general, mostly because I have almost no chances to write about him, while Seth is the POV character. There's just something about the different perceptions of his actions that are integral his character as a general in a war setting, as well as his inherent hypocrisy in constantly stating how much he cares for his people and being more than willing to commit atrocities for them. Idk, he's got that Nuance.

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

Probably Reyna, from B&W. When I first wrote her, I was her age and tried to create someone who I'd like to hang out with.

Which of your characters would you dislike most in real life?

I already despise Nester from the dystopia WIP and he's not even real. And also, I think Diedrich would be insufferable irl.

Tell me about the process of coming up with one, all, or any of your characters.

Most of them kinda start out as concepts. For example, Seth came to be because "healer that takes the life of everything around them for power" sounded like a cool idea. Sometimes they're informed by characters I like or historical figures: Viktor is loosely based on Robespierre, Lucille is vaguely inspired by Cio-Cio San, General Fallin has some faint hints of Griffith, etc.

Do you notice any themes/traits about your characters?

I've noticed that every single one of my 4 WIPs has the extremely specific trope of an older character using the protagonist as a replacement for their dead loved one (usually their child, but sometimes disciple or younger sibling) and projecting onto them. I have no clue where tf this came from but it feels like something a psychoanalyst would greatly enjoy.

How do you picture them?” (as real people you imagined/as models/actors that exist in real life/as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc)

I actually picture all my characters in my artstyle!! Actually, I "see" most of the worlds in my stories through my own artstyle!

My writing:

What’s your reason for writing?

You see, I have all of these ideas. They are just lying around. And, as I said before, just drawing them isn't gonna cut it.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

On what is actually my least-read fic on ao3, a person left me a multiple paragraphs-long comment about how they would be thinking about that fic for years, that I wrote the characters as "canon but better", that they would read any other fics I posted in the future, and that they made an account to leave said comment. I'm not saying that this is the only type of comment I enjoy, but it has really stuck with me for the past year and when I read it I kinda wanna cry. So. I guess that.

How do you want to be thought of by those that read your work? (for example, as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition as a talented worldbuilder, or a role model, etc)

I've always wanted to be one of those writers that just really Gets the human mind, you know? Like, I've read stories where my regular person brain was going through all sorts of Things while my writer brain kept shouting "THIS MAKES SENSE!! THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!!!", and that's who I want to be. (I feel like I'm not expalining myself correctly???) This is kind of a tangent, but I've read/watched stories so good that I was left just literally Sitting There, my thoughts completely silent, literally incapable of being a functioning human being for about an hour because my brain just wouldn't come down from the story. And that's my goal in life <3

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Probably my character building.

What have you frequently been told your greatest writing strength is by others?

My story ideas/concepts. Like settings and worldbuilding and such.

How do you feel about your writing? (answer in whatever way you interpret that question)

Overall, I like it! I spent a long time working to a point where I can actually enjoy my own work. And I'm obviously not saying it's perfect. No one sees more flaws in it than me (bc I virtually never show it to anyone), but I won't say it's bad to sound better. I'm having fun, dammit!

If you were the last person on earth, and knew that your writing would never be read, would you still write?

I would still have stories to write even if there was no one to show them to. I would still draw and sing without an audience too. Because my art is, at its core, for me. It's a need.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I used to consider what others might like, and I still kinda do sometimes because my main beta reader is my MOM, but I've mostly let it go tbh. After draft 2 of B&W I shouted "I'M NEVER WRITING ROMANCE AGAIN!!!" and here we are. At the end of the day, I'm writing mostly to have fun, so I should be able to do whatever I want.

That was fun!! I love questionaires/this interview format thingy. Makes me feel fancy.

If you're made it all the way down here, hiiii <3<3<3<3<3<3 sorry for never shutting up and not being concise. It will happen again.

[devil-doll13]

I made a new Oc! I hope you all like him. He’s been sitting in my drafts for a while so I wanted to get his profile out. It’s still pretty rough and subject to change though. Anyway I present:

Maxwell “Max” Holt 🐺

Name: Maxwell Holt

Meaning: ‘Mack’s Stream’

Alias(es): Max, The Wolfman

Pronouns: He/Him

Age: 24

D.O.B: December 13th

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Current Residence: A small but cozy bungalow. He lives in Downings, a small (fictional) town in Montana.

Occupation: Mechanic, maybe future Author?

Appearance Description: He is a young man who has fair skin, sky blue eyes, shaggy blonde hair down to his shoulders, with usually a bit of fuzz on his chin. he looks like a young James Hetfield

Style: Band/Fantasy/Sci-Fi Shirts, Tank Tops, Jeans, Denim/Leather Jackets, High Top Sneakers/Boots, The Occasional Flannel, basically like if he time travelled from the 80s lol

Height: 6,0ft

Eye Colour: Blue

Hair Colour: Blonde

Notable Features: Wears glasses for reading. Quite a bit of body hair on his arms/legs/chest etc. He has a few ear piercings: mostly thin metal rings hanging from his earlobe. Jiggles his leg constantly. The cologne he wears unfortunately can’t really hide the smell of dog…

Personality: Friendly and enthusiastic, (although maybe not as much as he was when he was younger, before everything happened.) Kind and very loyal, manages to be quite intelligent with certain things and a himbo at the same time. Like he is sort of oblivious at times yknwim? Also a nerdy guy, likes to read a lot which surprises a lot of people, even more when they find out he’s a pretty good writer too! He’s passionate about stuff he likes. Sorta goofy too, likes to joke around and have fun! Stands somewhere between introvert and extrovert. He secretly has a darker side to him, though he speaks about it to no one, even those he trusts with knowledge of his lycanthropy. He’d rather ignore its existence altogether. His worst habit is definitely ignoring all his problems until they hopefully ‘go away.’

Likes: Dogs/Wolves, Bears, Motorcycles, Plaid, Denim, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, D&D, The Stars, The Sunset, Vinyls, Crowdsurfing, Rivers, Bacon, 80s/Retro Vibes

Dislikes: Animal Print (he thinks it looks a bit tacky), Broccoli, Silver, Formal Clothes, Littering, Spiders, The Full Moon/His Forced Transformations

Hobbies: Reading, Writing, Playing Videogames, Playing Drums, Tinkering/Fixing Cars & Motorcycles

Rough Backstory

Tw: Death, Angst, sorta toxic friends/betrayal?

Max was born on a chilly December morning in Detroit, Michigan. He was the youngest of 3 brothers, and their working class status meant he tended to receive hand-me-downs a lot and depended a lot on his brother’s interests. His mother was a nurse and his father was a construction worker.

When Max was very young, his father got into a car accident and passed away from his injuries in the hospital. He was too young to remember much about his father at the time, but he did know his mother worked to the bone to provide for him and his brothers.

While he was an excitable kid, he was always the quietest of his brothers. He loved reading, generally fantasy and sci-fi books and always had the idea of writing his own stuff even from a young age. It didn’t take long for him to get involved in fandom in his teenage years, and he wrote for some time in online spaces. He also befriended some kids who he played d&d campaigns with for a good bit.

The brothers inherited their father’s music taste; classic rock and metal was the soundtrack to Max’s childhood and teenage years. He quickly became passionate about music and enjoyed playing drums the most. He ended up joining a metal band as well as a drummer.

He also got pretty good at taking apart cars and bikes, although he would nurture this talent more later on in life.

Max was 19 years old on the night when his life changed forever. He was travelling on a road-trip to go to a metal show with his friends and then girlfriend, having the time of his life. That night it was a full moon. He ended up separated from his friends, but he didn’t mind. He liked to stargaze. But then alone in the wilderness, he was attacked. All he remembered was it was huge and covered in fur, but he managed to escape with only a bite on his shoulder. He was rushed to a local hospital who assumed it was maybe a coyote or wolf, be he swore it was more than just a normal animal. Despite this, he tried his best to continue on as normal, both for himself and to not worry his friends and girlfriend. They insisted it was nothing, so he felt pressured to do so.

However Max started to experience changes he couldn’t explain. No matter how he tried to ignore it, it kept creeping up on him. Particularly the physical changes he was getting, he felt his sense of smell and hearing especially become very heightened.

The first transformation Max had he thought he just had a hangover. His memories were so fuzzy, he wasn’t sure why he was (he assumed he was) getting blackout drunk but it was the only explanation he could think of. The disappearances from last night on the news didn’t connect to him, surely they couldn’t be related anyway? He kept on ignoring the strange feelings he was getting as well.

Eventually this caught up to him and his friends and girlfriend discovered he was a werewolf who had been behind the killings. They struggled to fight him in his lycanthrope transformation and eventually defeated him, leaving him for dead. They believed they killed and buried him, but he was actually still alive. He woke up confused and very disoriented, only remembering some time afterwards what had actually happened to him. But by then it was too late.

For maybe a year and a half he spent in a limbo, terrified of himself and of his transformations. Every full moon he would have to find a place to chain himself up to prevent himself from getting out of control again. His previous skills in fixing up cars and motorcycles became useful and he got a lot better at it, using them to get himself around. He had a hard time holding down a job or really sustaining any sort of stable lifestyle.

This was until he met Jack Silver, an older lycanthrope. The older man sort of took Max under his wing and taught him not to be so afraid anymore. It was the fear that made it worse, instead he had to accept it. Once he learned to do that, Max began to heal again. At some point he started working as a mechanic in Montana and has kept it up for a few years. He’s pretty good at it, and the income allowed him to settle down in a small trailer and support himself.

It’s been difficult for Max to drag himself out of the dark place he’d been in, but he’s been working toward essentially restarting his life. Of course, despite this he is still a lycanthrope at the end of the day. He’s still got blood on his hands. And Max and found himself becoming far more comfortable with that fact. Accepting it. So now and again there are times when certain people still go missing on the news…

Fun Facts

His favourite book (series) is Lord Of The Rings

His favourite film is a difficult choice between Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope and Terminator 1

His favourite bands are Metallica, Dio, KISS, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden and Ozzy Osbourne

His favourite colours are blue, red and yellow

His favourite food is pizza (bacon and pepperoni)

His favourite drink is beer

Due to his Lycanthropy he’s gained a few… quirks even in human form. For one thing the very heightened sense of smell, and to a lesser extent hearing. Next is the extra body hair, which only grows back if he tries to get rid of it. His nails get long/sharp quickly if he doesn’t stay on top of them. He has sharp little canines too.

Max always loved dogs, but now he sort of has an innate connection with them. It’s the same with wolves too, although there aren’t many about in the wild anymore. He’s found himself becoming quite passionate about wildlife conservation now as he’s learned this. It helps that he lives closer to nature now.

He absolutely was/is a part of fandom and writes fanfics of his own. Mostly Star Wars because Luke Skywalker is like a self-insert for him lmao (blonde hair, blue eyes?)

Max now has his own book on the go, although it’s more of a collection of manuscripts so far. He has a lot of other things to occupy his mind, but he definitely still has his times where he’s obsessed with his writing and can be seen at his laptop focusing hard.

He’s lived in the city for most of his life as a child and teenager, but he actually prefers being close to nature now. He likes being able to see the stars better with less light pollution, and it’s just a lot safer for everyone with his werewolf transformations and all that.

Speaking of, he can control his werewolf form and transformations more now, and doesn’t suffer from memory issues anymore. Now he can actually transform and go back to being human at will, but the full moon still forces him to do so regardless. It can still be difficult to control his wild impulses at times though. That’s when he goes into the forest and just lets loose. It is always a pain the next day of course.

Max’s ‘victims’ are typically not good people, and generally men. It’s sort of been hard to admit to himself that there’s a certain hunger he has as a Werewolf that only killing can satisfy, so he chooses those that would probably be better off dead in his eyes.

He still hasn’t dared to contact his family or friends from his ‘past life’ so it’s an uncomfortable subject.

Max can play a bit of guitar too but he’s better at the drums by far.

His current vehicle is a motorcycle he picked up and fixed himself. He’s pretty proud of it! It’s definitely his baby lmao.

I literally heard Bark At The Moon and based his whole character concept off of that LMAO

He deserves the best this is a FACT

(Taglist: @rottent33th, @slaasherslut, @the-pinstriped-hood)

[blueberry-ash]

I’m actually on break-of-sorts! There’s extra free time in my days, and I can do what I want with it! (Even better—after a couple days spent zombie-ing in front of a video game and tv shows—my brain even kinda wants to do things. How refreshing flsdafjsa;)

So! A fic author interview, which the lovely @lynne-monstr tagged me in half an age ago. :D

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

327, apparently. God knows how many have been let loose to swim in the sweetly-orphaned seas.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

863,428.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

How Impolite, How Imprudent (The Walking Dead, Beth/Daryl) - 1,108 kudos.

Stripped (Death Note, Near/Mello) - 720 kudos.

let’s embrace the point of no return (Guardian, Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan) - 669 kudos.

Hoping's Free (The Walking Dead, Beth/Daryl/Rick) - 639 kudos.

The Married Ones (BBC Sherlock, Sherlock/Watson) - 625 kudos.

Mostly this is just… happening to write for popular ships sometimes, I think, rather than any reflection on the actual stories themselves.

Although, The Walking Dead ones were very much just posted at exactly the right point in time—AKA right when the folks who were gonna be reading Beth-centric stories were turning up to find it…and when there really weren’t many. I remember finding it really fun to write for that ship, in no small amount because it felt exactly like writing for my usual rarer pair stuff… but with bonus readers. XD

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always plan to. They make me so happy! Unfortunately, my brain makes replying to comments a whole lot more complicated than it actually is… meaning I put it aside for when I’ll have the energy/capacity… and then my executive dysfunction sneaks in and eats my good intentions for breakfast. ;;

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t really write angsty endings very often. I guess… against the world? Probably? That’s pretty miserable through-and-through, and is definitely lacking my usually compulsive need to find a happy note to end on.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

…everything? XD

Honestly, my first thought was to crib off Lynne’s answer and say a story that goes real sad before it gets happy. But… that just makes me want to say my Reunion Dinner GaoQiao break-up fic (In the space of your leaving), except… I haven’t actually posted the final chapters for that yet. Meaning it’s happy ending is currently hypothetical, and it’s therefore disqualified from this category. 😂

In which case, I guess… maybe Hoping's Free, actually. I wouldn’t have thought of it, except that I was doing the sort-by-kudos thing, which made me look at it again. But it’s probably a better answer for this than my usual fluff, if only because it was written in this almost grimly hopeful tone that was very intentionally at odds with the canon I was writing from (TWD). (And was probably influenced by the fact I was sitting there writing a “pregnant at the end of the world” story whilst hugely pregnant myself, ha.)

7. Do you write crossovers?

As in, non-fusion crossovers? Where you have characters from both things interacting? Not really, to be honest. I used to, a fair bit, although I’m not sure I ever actually posted any of them. I just recently stumbled across some unfinished drafts for some Harry Potter x Bleach stuff, which was honestly fascinating to look at because I would not think of something like that now.

I do still write a bunch of fusion-style crossovers, though. Like, I’m plotting constantly plotting those bastard things. (Seriously, constantly: my poor SO cannot engage with a show or a video game with me without knowing that I’m probably sitting there thinking about where Qiao Yifan would fit into it jadlf;jasdfl.) Unfortunately, it’s just… a lot harder for me to actually finish those stories. Or sometimes, even to start them. They��re definitely one of those cases where I need to get much better at just… dropping my worldbuilding glee into a tumblr post or something, sigh.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Once. So very long ago that I don’t even remember what it was about, just that I had the sweetest group of friends who made it immediately less devastating for my rejection-sensitive ass (thereby saving me from quitting fandom not long after I had discovered it). <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

So much smut! Mostly the kind with a whole lotta feelings.

It’s not that I don’t write other things—I write so many other things—but smut comes with this bonus setting for me, where it’s just a hundred times simpler than anything else (especially when compared to anything that tries to grow Real Plot—see Question 7, so help me). And that just makes it wayyy easier to actually, y’know, write. And finish. And edit. And post.

(Not that sex can’t be complicated, or complex, because of course it can! But it’s still easier than so many other forms of human interaction, y’know? Or… maybe it’s just that sex is the perfect chill-switch for my brain, and that’s carried over into how I use it for writing, too? Who knows!)

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope. At least, not to my knowledge.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yesss, and it’s always exciting! Translators are the best. ♥!!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I’ve planned to! Life got in the way, alas.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

What’s an all-time favourite anything, precious?

Whatever’s bouncing around in my head in the moment, generally. Although, that said, I do keep returning over and over and over to GaoQiao in a way that definitely should give it some kind of special status, so… there’s that. XD

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Hey, that’s quitter talk, Question 14. Anyway, everyone knows I’m trapped in a fandom until I’ve had all my WIPs wrung out of me. (That’s how it works, right? Right?)

More seriously, though, I… am not really sure. There are definitely some WIPs I am constantly thinking I should just give up on and post as partly fleshed-out outlines—because I love them, but I’m not sure I have the spoons to genuinely finish them.

Like, uh, haha, y’know—the insane FangWang fairytale-esque thing, the structure of which was very purposefully built off Propp’s functions (the, uh, narrative elements of a folk tale, per Propp’s Morphology of a Folk Tale stuff), because… I’m a raging nerd who re-falls down the folk tale rabbit hole at least once a year…? I do really love that fic, so very much, because there’s so much going on in it (actual witches! changelings and neurodiversity! Lin Jie baggage! FangWang being insufferable and wonderful and full of feelings! fae folk being terrible! fae folk being So Fucking Right! trials being passed! trials being failed! homely cooking, and magical needlework, and grumpy softhearted healers chopping firewood, oh my!) But also… there’s so fucking much going on in it, dear god.

It’s probably my best candidate for being flung up as a dot-point fic, but… I remain swimming in a sea of self-delusion, haha.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think… I really like getting in the guts of things, when it comes to writing about characters as people-in-bodies. (Which… is a sentence I keep re-writing, but it’s not getting any less unhinged any time soon, so it can just stay there as-is.)

I really like that sense of grounding, anyway: of being grounded in skin and bones and body-connected feelings, which is… mildly hilarious considering—therapist noises intensify.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Executive dysfunction.

Uh. Yeah, so, I’m super bad at internalising that grammar exists for Reasons, and that those Reasons are that other people don’t necessarily think or read with the apparently weird rhythm that I do. And that means… y’know… that my own shit needs to confirm to at least a baseline of some kind or else it’ll become kinda unreadable. (I am getting better at it, I think. I am. It’s an endless project. Commas are my own personal hell.)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I do kinda get why people might do this, because baby-me was pretty enamoured with it.

Now that I’m no longer Baby, however—at least, not when it comes to this—it’s not really something I would do. I’m also more likely to politely exit back out of stories that do choose to do it, although that’s mostly because it tends to be one of those markers that says Things about whether or not I’m going to jive with a story. (As a boring-ass adult with too little functional time on her hands.)

(On the other hand, I am deeply into terms of address/honorifics being kept and used. They can provide such a rich dose of information about intimacy, familiarity, and all the rest of it. That said, I tick-tock back and forth like a busted clock on whether I think they should be translated or not.)

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Animorphs, probably, although I didn’t know what a fandom was at that point. My first posted fic was for Stargate Atlantis.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I’m going to find a way to write that sedoretu Gao Yingjie/Fang Shiqian/Wang Jiexi/Qiao Yifan story if it fucking kills me.

(Also this random Gao Yingjie/Qiao Yifan & Su Mucheng/Wang Jiexi partner-swapping thing that’s been living rent-free in my head for literal years, but which has never actually been written down as anything more than a one line note. C’mon, story, get out of my head and onto some damn paper!)

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written

We play favourites in this house! Also… I’m just really bad at making those kinds of choices.

But—you know what? Fuck it, in the days this draft has been sitting here, I gotta say, I’ve kept thinking—probably the older the ginger (the spicier it gets). It’s peak rare pair, but I had such a blast writing it, and it’s one of those odd things I actually enjoy re-reading, too. <3

[theinconveniencing]

how has your day been? in as many words as possible pls

wow. aiming for the stars. bold since you know how much I love to talk but I’ll give the people what they want

my day was pretty good all things considered. the things we’re considering is that I worked 3-8 instead of 12-5 today and I don’t even have a show to watch with my family tonight. the bachelorette was crazy last night kallie you would have loved it.

anyways the play by play of my day was I woke up at 9:55 bc my friend has her radio show from 10-12 and I listen as often as I can. but it wasn’t even her on the radio it was some other bitch but I was already awake so I just stayed up even though I was up late last night reading fanfiction and texting bi guy jason and journaling. so I ate my breakfast which was an overripe mango which I ate peel and all over the kitchen sink and gas station potato wedges I got from work two days ago. it was fine. and I watched a youtube video on the barbie movie by a youtuber I’m subscribed to while I ate. but I was still tired and I had enough time to take a nap so I did and let me tell you the last fucking thing I wanted to do was get up but alas I did. and I was hungry so I had a struggle meal (so you could call every meal I have these days) it of an entire can of green beans. I heated them in the microwave ofc but honestly they were fucking delicious.

I left for work a little later than I wanted and that was stressing me out and I started listening to my playlist from last summer and I must have played that shit to death bc I skipped like a million songs before I got to one I could listen to. I got to work and I liked all my coworkers that were there which is a fucking miracle and my three favorite coworkers (the guy my age, the woman who got hired the day before me, and the manager who doesn’t give a shit how much work anybody’s doing and has been perpetuating the wheels vs doors debate for a week) were all there so I was content. even if all the customers were fucking cunts for some reason like idk what was in the air today but people were being such assholes but it was fine bc every time they walked away my coworkers and I would just talk shit about them. btw I didn’t like the woman who got hired the day before me at first but now me and her are like this 🤞 ily sandy. she’s so fucking real and every time I tell her that she’s so real she laughs bc she thinks it’s such a funny phrase. but she literally is I swear to god I would have lost it if I was the only new cashier. but apparently she got a way better training process then me bc she’s constantly like “nobody taught you how to do x or told you that you need to do y? that’s so weird” like yeah sandy it is weird. and both of us have the same irrational fear that every other one of our coworkers hates us but at least we like each other so it’s fine. bottom line I love sandy she’s my best friend and I hope when summer ends and I quit that she goes and finds a better job she deserves it. also both of us got soooooo excited when we saw the new halloween candy display like fuck yeah you know what time it is

all the coworkers were talking about arbys at work and I’ve never even gotten anything other than fries and I was starving and we have no food at home because my family sucks at grocery shopping so I went to arbys and got a french dip sandwich and some mozzarella sticks. the sky was beautiful on the drive home and when I got there my mom was sitting on the couch in the front room crocheting but I opted to be a hermit and eat in my room. I got some grease on my bedspread but it’s fine. I started the new garrett watts video bc I have to watch all of his videos it’s tradition. well it’s usually tradition to drink starbucks while I watch his videos. maybe instead of finishing it while I go through my drafts I’ll watch it tomorrow after work and get myself a lil drink as a treat. bc that tradition started back in 2020 when every thursday after my last online class instead of killing myself like I wanted to I would go and use my years and years of starbucks gift cards to buy myself a lil drink then go on a lil drive and go home and drink my drink while I watched the newest sweet boys (garrett watts and andrew siwicki) podcast episode while I embroidered. anyways after that greasy ass dinner I was feeling like collapsing and dying so I ate half a green bell pepper in the kitchen. and even though that was all like less than an hour and a half ago I’m really fucking hungry again. I literally don’t understand how I’m always so hungry. it’s pissing me off.

since then I’ve just been fucking around on my phone and I think I’m gonna write my diary entry of the day then take my shower (I have to wash my hair boo👎👎👎) then try and go to sleep I’m fucking exhausted. speaking of my diary thanks for asking me this bc I’m probably just gonna copy paste it instead of actually writing the diary entry for today. which I’m ideally gonna write in a week but I’m back to being two weeks behind on my diary again. I knew that was gonna happen with dani visiting and all but it still sucks. hopefully I can get my act together before school starts. thanks!

[silkscream]

SWEETEST KILL | PART TWO: VERDICT

pairing: peter parker x silk!reader

warnings: mentions of sex, angst, tony stark

wc: 3k

summary: an unexpected invitation to stark industries makes you question everything.

a/n: not my favorite. it feels like filler but i suppose it’s important for context n plot development. also, i love writing a sarcastic reader. also, did i only just post part one yesterday??? yes. it’s called These Have Been Sitting In My Drafts And I'm Bored As All Hell

↳ series masterlist / main masterlist / taglist

↳ part one: delirium / part three: kismet

“So, what, you think she crawled her way here from a different Earth?” 

“No, she’s… definitely real. I’ve gone to school with her this whole time. She was bitten by the same spider as me!”

Tony Stark furrows his brows, partly from disbelief, partly from the fact that Peter’s eyes are bugged out and his appetite is curiously insatiable, considering the boy keeps taking more and more of the man’s fries. Tony swats him away.

“Hey, I said a couple,” he scolds. 

“‘mmsorry,” a muffled Peter mutters, fries in his mouth. Tony rolls his eyes.

“Is she a threat?” 

“Um, I don't think so… we kind of…” Peter trails off, looking away from his mentor. He fixates on the lucky cat in the window waving its paw at him tauntingly. Tony doesn’t understand Peter’s affinity for these combination bodega/Chinese takeout/diner places, but the kid was frantic and was most definitely not in the mood for a place that served Chardonnay, much to Tony’s dismay.

“You what?” Tony asks impatiently.

“Like… my senses were on overload, I’ve never felt like that before…” The boy stammers as his cheeks grow red.

“Oh,” Tony nods, blinking at Peter with indifference. “You use protection?”

“No, we didn’t get that far!” Peter exclaims, covering his face with his hands in self-consciousness. “I.. just… it felt so weird. Like I couldn’t control myself. I couldn’t get why.”

“Well, kid, if she was bitten by the same spider as you, you probably both have the biological urge to mate. Didn’t school ever teach you about pheromones?”

A raised eyebrow bluntly contrasts Peter’s worried gaze.

“I thought that was just for animals, not humans,” he shrugs.

“Okay, well, you’ve got yourself a little spider-girlfriend. What exactly did you want me to do about this? Give you a little run-down on sex education?” Tony nods at the disgruntled middle-aged woman at the front, waving her over for the check. He takes a sip of his Diet Coke and looks pointedly at Peter. “What, does she not know who you are yet?”

“No, I thought it’d be a bad idea to tell her. Should I? I feel like… this is big, Mr. Stark. Like, what if she’s secretly a villain, or if she’s not, then I feel like she needs guidance, you know? Maybe she should train with us?” Peter’s eyes are pleading.

“Well, kid, we’re not the damn government. We can’t have a profile on every person that has sticky hands like you. But fine. You know her name?”

Peter nods.

___

“Congratulations, Miss Y/L/N, you’ve been anonymously referred by an academic advisor to participate in an exclusive workshop at Stark Industries!”

“What?” You nearly spit, squinting at the guidance counselor in front of you. You were sure Betty had given a tip to Mrs. Cooper about skipping class or your last chemistry test or your general emotional malaise. You were expecting a lecture on mental health, not this.

“You should be proud of yourself! Many people who participate in student activities under Mr. Stark end up becoming interns and employees! This will look ah-mazing on your resume!” 

Mrs. Cooper was the human equivalent of what you would imagine a middle-aged, female Spongebob to be like. You didn’t hate her, but you hated her chipper attitude and the way she constantly piped about academia like the world was fresh daisies. Not to mention, she never gets your name correctly even though she's been your assigned counselor since freshman year.

“Right… um, thanks,” you mumble, taking the paperwork from her as the bell rang. You’re relieved as you walk out her door — any longer in that room and you feel like you would’ve imploded. Or she would’ve turned you into an inanimate object with bippity, boppity, boop.

You already know whose eyes are surging through your body. Peter Parker stares at you from your locker and it takes about half a millisecond to stare back at his sharp jaw and the pinkish flesh of his thin lips. A tiny cut on the corner of his bottom lip ordains something that makes you breathless. You want to lick it. 

He looks at you like he has something to tell you but ultimately looks the other way. Before you even realize your compulsion to walk towards him, Betty Brant links her arm with yours and greets you. You’re still glancing at Peter, half-listening as she babbles about her date with Ned.

“And he got me daisies! Isn’t that just the most romantic thing in the world? I didn’t even tell him they were my favorite,” the blonde gushes.

“Yes, you did. We were sitting together at lunch last week and you were loudly ranting about how no one’s ever gotten you flowers before,” you remind her, bluntly. She rolls her eyes.

“Okay, but it’s the fact that he listened!”

“I love Ned, but that is quite literally the bare minimum.”

Betty makes a face, scrunching it up like she’s tasted a lemon for too long.

“You’re just grouchy,” she teases you. “Maybe you need to go on a date. Peter Parker’s been staring at you this whole time, you know.”

The sound of his name makes your heart leap. 

“Shut up.”

“Oh, he totally is into you! I just saw him lick his lips!”

“Betty, if you keep talking about him, I am going to hurl your pretty ass into a locker,” you shush your friend when her voice squeals like nails on a chalkboard. You and Betty contrast one another comically — you in your entirely black outfit and her in a Vineyard Vines cerulean sweater. 

“Ruuuude,” she whines.

You roll your eyes again, shuddering from the weight of Peter's gaze and the fluorescent lighting that bathes you in the wide hallway. You blink back at Betty’s heart-shaped head as she purses her lightly glossed lips, eyes bright and wide like a squirrel’s. 

“So why did Mrs. Cooper wanna see you? Did you get into a fight again?” It’s funny, the crease on the blonde’s forehead. She looks like a real-life Barbie doll.

You scoff. “No, I just… got some academic thing. At Stark Industries.”

“Like Iron-Man Tony Stark?” she squeals again. 

“Yes, that one,” you hiss, pulling her towards the classroom before she can get any louder. Peter watches you carefully from the back of the room.

The blonde mouths oh my god and you flash her a fake smile in an attempt to mirror her delight.

__

“Hello, do you have an appointment?” the redhead at the front desk asks you. Her red lipstick is the color of blood, matching the color of her suit. Her sharp green eyes look you up and down. 

“Um, kind of. I’m here to see Mr. Stark for the workshop,” you explain. 

Tick, tick, tick. The clock seems like the loudest thing in the room. You wonder if the secretary hears you at all, but just as you’re about to repeat yourself, she cuts you off.

“Name?” She doesn’t look up from her computer. You tell her.

“You can take the elevator down the hall to your left. Twenty-third floor.”

“Thank you,” you mumble softly. 

You hate the fact that you’re here. You didn’t love the grandiose, exaggerated luxury of this skyscraper knowing that its glory was sensationalized by a pro-capitalist industrialist. You don’t care about military technologies and weaponry. In fact, you despise it. But you weren’t stupid. Any ticket to a good university was worth it, admittedly. 

The doors open to a room with sleek, modern furniture, black tiled ceilings, and floors illuminated by studio lighting. Uncomfortably, you take a seat on one of the red couches. It was impressive, the decor, but it still felt clinical and cold to you. Especially considering you were alone.

Your ears perk up to the sound of a door opening and footsteps echoing on the tiles. Around the corner, a pair of luminous brown eyes meet yours. 

“Peter.” It’s not a question, more of an observation. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m, uh, Mr. Stark’s intern,” Peter replies, smiling in a thin line that looks fabricated. What is he hiding?

“Did you ask him to ask me to come here?” You narrow your eyes.

“What? I didn’t even know you were, uh, coming here. What are you doing here?”

“Peter Parker, I know we aren’t the best of friends or anything, but you’re a terrible liar,” you sneer. You like the way his mouth quirks up into a defeated smile along with his pink cheeks. Your eyes widen when your gaze traces the length of his jaw. “Sorry, not sure what’s formal right now. Mr. Spider-Man.”

“Huh?” Peter’s mouth is agape but he makes an attempt at being casual by sauntering into the kitchen, turning away from you to look blankly into the fridge. 

“Would you rather be called that?” Curiously, you get up from your seat and walk over to the island of the kitchen. Everything looks too clean to touch, let alone use for cooking food. 

“Um…” Peter genuinely doesn’t know what to say. He forgets how to breathe once you cross the invisible threshold in the middle of the room because now that you’re closer, he can smell your skin. 

“Can I try something?” You echo his words from the other night. You feel bad — the boy looks terrified despite the way he carried himself during your accidental rendezvous. He’s trembling. 

Awkwardly, you take your hand and touch his shoulder, causing him to jerk without warning. He mumbles an apology as he looks at his shoes. You don’t know what compels you to do this — you’d never in your right mind do this in any other context — but you kiss him. It’s a soft, slow kiss. A short one, thanks to the voice in your head screaming for you to release yourself. 

“Yup. You are definitely Spider-Man.”

The voice of another human booms in your presence.

“I see you two have met,” Tony Stark grins, walking towards the island. “Parker, Y/L/N, follow me.

___

Peter’s body is betraying himself. It’s difficult to stay still in his chair when he’s only about two feet away from you. Tony doesn’t understand the extent of the… problem, and dismisses the boy’s behavior as normal teenage ADHD. Peter can never stay still anyways. 

You’re somehow better at controlling yourself, crossing your legs tightly, and keeping your palms in your lap. You’ve always been good at controlling yourself. But maybe that was the girl-instinct inside you, the ability to fold yourself over and over to be contained, small. 

“Well.”

The three of you switch glances at each other awkwardly. You feel like you’re in the fucking principal’s office.

“There isn’t an actual workshop, is there?” you ask bluntly.

“Smart girl, I can see why Peter likes you,” Tony quips sarcastically. Peter glares at the man, shaking his head as if he’d just let out a secret. Which it was, maybe. At least a surprise to you.

“Why am I here?” You want to choose your words carefully, but if Peter’s the one who brought you here, there was no point in hiding Silk. “Are you trying to use me for biological warfare? Don’t you have him for that?”

You nod towards Peter and he sighs. Tony chuckles. 

“The kid seems eager to get to know you, which he could easily do himself. You’re not in any trouble. Dr. Banner would just like to run some tests on you to know more about the spider, see how you differ from Peter, etcetera. We aren’t going to make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

“You just said you were going to run some tests on me.”

For the first time since you kissed Peter moments before, you look him in the eye. “Why exactly do you want me here?”

“I just wanted… to help you. You said you didn’t tell anyone about Silk except me,” Peter stammers. He plays with his fingers. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, I’m not a therapist or a guidance counselor, so if Peter can do the honor of showing you around, go ahead,” Tony says dismissively. The door behind you opens automatically, to which you storm off before Peter can catch up to you.

“Y/N, wait!” Peter calls after you.

“What?” you seethe. “I don’t want to be a hero, okay? I told you this already. I don’t want anything to do with the Avengers, I don’t care if we have the same powers, but it’s not my responsibility to be your weird little test subject.”

“It’s not like that! Don’t you want to know more about your own powers?” Peter’s voice is raised slightly as he takes your hand. “Listen to me. You told me you don’t have anyone. But I promise you, you have me. If you’ll have me.”

The earnest look in his eyes makes you want to jump his bones. God, how pathetic. You hate how weak you are for this boy, and how his puppy-dog eyes are boring into your thick skull, and how if Tony Stark wasn’t on the other side of the wall next to you, you’d pounce on Peter Parker like a tree.

“Don’t you want to know why you feel like this?” the brunette asks softly. Your fingers are intertwined, his thumb rubbing your skin innocently. It makes you jump slightly as if you’d gotten burnt.

“Fine.”

___

You always hated doctors. You hated the mundanity of the waiting room, the cold setting and sterile environment that housed tragedy despite the cut-throat policies of America’s awful culture of medical insurance. You aren’t even in a hospital, but these thoughts flood your mind all the same. You shift in your seat in front of Dr. Banner.

“Okay, Miss L/N, I’m sure you’re familiar with all your powers. Arachnid abilities, superhuman strength, speed,” Dr. Banner drones. The sound of his voice almost calms you. Like a history channel documentary. “Now, what we did find out is that mutagenic enzymes in the blood of the spider that bit you give you the ability to be in perfect physical equilibrium, in any state imaginable. That, and your Spider-sense is actually much, much sharper than Peter’s.”

You raise your eyebrows. 

“Seems like the glands inside your arms help you produce your own web fluid too, which is... different.”

You nod politely. Dr. Banner didn’t really tell you anything new, but it was enlightening. Like you were getting Officially Diagnosed. You look pointedly at Peter.

“What? I had to make my own web-shooters!”

“Sucks to suck, Parker.”

“Do you have any more questions, Y/N?” Dr. Banner asks. You shake your head.

With a smile, you listen to Dr. Banner and his conversational asides with Peter. Ignoring his presence, you scroll through the apps on your phone to return some texts and check the schedule for the nearest metro. The sound of Peter’s erratic beating heart drowns out your ears like white noise. You hate that he can hear yours too.

“Why’s your heart beating so fast?” you give him a scowl.

“You know why.” Peter reluctantly flashes a peculiar look at Dr. Banner as if prompting him. “It’s the, uh…”

“Pheromones,” Banner chimes in. “That’s probably why both of you are so hyper-aware of one another. Because you were bitten by the same spider, your bodies naturally have the desire to mate when you’re in close proximity.”

Your expression is unwavering while Peter’s face grows redder and redder. You wouldn’t be surprised if he were to start melting.

“Is there a way to tune that down? So we can, like, coexist like humans?” Peter asks.

“What, like an anti-horny pill?” you chuckle darkly. Peter throws a glare at you. “What? Do you want me to transfer out of our classes? We already know what happens in Twilight.”

“I can arrange something like a serum that allows you both to control your impulses,” Banner says. “In the meantime, Y/N, you’re always welcome to the lab for any purpose. Not in a scientific prodding way, but in an inventor way. Your natural web fluid is pretty remarkable.” 

“Thanks, Doc,” you sigh. Peter’s eyes flicker between Dr. Banner and you, catching you in an unfathomable grimace that turns up into a smirk when you realize his eyes on you. If there was one true fact about Peter Parker, it was that he was easily flustered by pretty girls. 

“Well, I guess I should go. See you later, Peter.” The name leaves your lips like it’s yanked out of you. The sound of it gives Peter a slight pang to the diaphragm. His nervousness and immeasurable attraction to you manifest itself as a dunce cap atop his head considering how calm and collected you are, a direct contrast to his enchantment. You reciprocate these feelings in a watered-down way though you won’t show it, because despite the fact that the boy you like deliberately lured you to meet him in this bizarre, clinical setting, you still took the bait. Without another beat, you leave the room.

Peter is just able to catch you before the elevator doors close on him and you huff at how quickly he’s able to catch up to you. The silence is awkward. The drop of a paper clip would probably sound like an earthquake if not for both of your irregular breathing.

“Shouldn’t you be staying away from me?” you sneer with gritted teeth.

“What if I…” Peter trails off. What if I don’t want to? “I understand why you’d be angry with me but I really do want to help. I do want to be your friend, you know.”

“You sure that’s not your dick talking?” you taunt.

Peter gives you a pained, puzzled expression. He takes your hand, desperate for you to understand where he’s coming from, but you’re much too stubborn to entertain any of his theories or plans to make you stay. 

Before Peter can answer, the elevator doors slide open and you leave as quickly as you came.

___

taglist: @mellithevirgo @icoldee @namoreno @slothmilkies @p0tterhead934 @songbirdcannabe @letssee2468​

[thebiscuiteternal]

Ahahaha, after telling Nonnie I was gonna post this, I completely forgot to actually post this and just left it sitting in drafts. Whoopsie. So! More little snippets and such from my twitter.

- Everybody mocks the sect descended from butchers until a boar demon the size of a city grain warehouse goes down and nobody else can deal with the carcass because it’s just too fucking big. By the time the thing has been taken apart and properly dispersed, the entire jianghu has had an Awakening to the fact that Some People (even the small cute one) are at their hottest when mostly covered in demon blood.

- Bitty!Huaisang tags along with his brother on some sect business to Yueyang and while he and his minder are eating lunch in the markets, he notices a street kid staring at the food like a starving wolf. Without thinking, he puts a plate of duck buns in easy reach and watches it and the kid vanish. By the end of the day, he’s practically forgotten about the whole thing, distracted by other stuff. But even more bitty!Xue Yang has just found himself a mark.

- Thinking about Nie Bros and how Huaisang decided early on that annoyance and exasperation were better than condescending pity and started playing up his lazy behavior to cover for his body’s failure to keep up and how Mingjue knows this, but has to make himself believe that Huaisang could do better if he actually tried, because otherwise he would constantly be swamped with guilt over the fact that he will inevitably be leaving his sickly brother to handle the sect.

- AND ON THAT NOTE, thinking about the fact that for all Huaisang is considered a pathetic cultivator, literally none of the adaptations have him “showing his age” more than cultivators who are supposed to be leagues more powerful than him, and even the novel just describes him as being pretty. Therefore, thinking of the possibility that all his desperate efforts to find Da-ge’s missing body pieces and/or soul wound up strengthening his golden core considerably (and he was Not Happy when he realized this) but no one noticed because he was that effective at keeping up the hapless idiot act.

- Rule 63!Huaisang where literally none of the Nie family dynamics have changed and everyone else is very ????? about it. Some Rando: “Shouldn’t your brother be getting you married instead of throwing a saber at you?” Huaisang: “Have you met my sect?”

- Nie-er-furen and Lan-furen were both yao, but Mama Nie was a cat and Mama Lan was a rabbit. Therefore, when the older brothers tried to introduce Nie Huaisang and Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan’s new instincts went “Predator!” and that is why Nie Huaisang has bite scars.

- Mo Xuanyu escaping Koi Tower and going to live with the (extremely grudgingly acknowledged) Yiling Wei sect, featuring Wei Wuxian being an absolute gremlin about his disciple’s crush on Nie Huaisang while still oblivious/in denial to Lan Wangji’s crush on him. WWX: “Follow your dreams and get your man!” MXY: “...Okay. So when are you gonna take your own advice and let Hanguang-jun court you?” WWX: “Haha, what? That’d never happen, Lan Zhan likes girls.” MXY (to NHS later): “So my sect leader might actually be an idiot.”

- Wei Wuxian in a Number Five situation. Fucks up an experimental talisman and winds up chucked  into an apocalyptic future (maybe even one demonic cultivation caused?) and is trapped there for decades before being slung back into his "just started raising corpses" age. Bonus points if it is a zombie apocalypse, but he doesn’t realize it because what evidence he was able to find pointed to the Sunshot Campaign having lost, so when he gets back to his present time, he starts working even harder at building up enough of an army to fight the Wens...

- So my personal headacanon is already that all of Jin Guangshan’s kids look more like their mothers than him because he doesn’t deserve anything good. But. Imagine the emotional/social fuckery if every single one of his bastards had at least some of his features, while Jin Zixuan is a male carbon copy of Jin-furen.

- The assumption that the original soul would be obliterated during the body sacrifice ritual was just that: an assumption. Wei Wuxian doesn't realize this until the first sect conference after Guanyin Temple when he sees his own reflection glare at him and then wrap the exhausted-looking reflection of Nie Huaisang into a reassuring embrace as the man discusses something or other with a minor sect leader.

aaaand everything else I was thinking about pulling over would be long enough for their own “Things I will probably never write” posts, so that’s all for this go round!

[rebeccccccaaa]

𝚃𝚠𝚘 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝙳𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚢

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𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚁𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍: ANON Hey you ❤️ Could I request an imagine with Bucky where you are his non-avenger girlfriend but you got really distant towards him lately as you found out you're pregnant and you're scared of his reaction? But then he finds out and is all happy and all other avengers are happy for you and insist on taking care of you and it's just all fluffy ? Thank you a lot ❤️

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: really fluff smut 18+ (praise, daddy kink, slight mommy kink?, breeding kink, oral fem!rec, age gap, etc), slight angst, cw: mentions of eating disorders (no one has one but bucky thinks this)

𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛’𝚜 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜: listen…. The idea of kids and having kids getting pregnant all that jazz, yeah. It fucking terrifies me! LOL! But nonetheless I really do see the appeal and sometimes i catch myself reading these kinds of fics so i really hope you like it anon! :)

PS: updates are going to slow down cuz i don’t have any drafts ready for upload and also things are a little crazy personally so yeah hope y’all understand :)

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“You like that baby?” Bucky groaned in your ear.

“Yes daddy! Oh my god,” you moaned.

“You’re being such a good little girl for your daddy. Fuck, daddy. You're gonna make me a daddy. I’m gonna come inside you and you’re gonna get all swollen and round with my baby. You want that? You wanna be a mommy; make me a daddy?” 

Bucky and you both expressed in the past that kids were something you both wanted but with Bucky still heavily involved with missions and the avengers, and you were in college studying to get a PhD in biomechanics and computer engineering, something that would let you understand and work with Bucky specifically very closely. You were too young to have a baby but that didn’t stop you from playing into fantasies of having a family with the man you were so in love with. 

“Daddy,” you moaned.

“Give it to me, baby,” you looked him into his eyes.

Bucky kissed you hard as you both came and after cleaning yourselves up you had showered together, ate dinner quickly, and soon went to bed. 

That was two months ago. 

Three weeks after that night, Bucky was gone for about two weeks on a mission with Steve. You and the girls were drinking wine but you opted out for the tempting glasses feeling nauseous that entire week. 

As a joke, the girls were saying you were pregnant but you were sure that you and Bucky were always cautious when having sex. It wasn’t a good time to have a baby. So you joked that all three of you should take a pregnancy test and when yours came out positive you freaked out. 

“Oh my god! Bucky’s gonna kill me!” you panicked.

“Hey, relax. It’s ok,” Nat comforted you.

“We can get through this. Now did Bucky explicitly say he doesn’t want kids?” Wanda asked.

“No, we both want kids it’s just, ugh, life is so fucking crazy right now and I’m still in school, Bucky’s going on missions all the time. It’s just not a good time to have a baby.”

“Ok think about it this; if life for us was normal, as boring as that is, would Bucky be upset if you were pregnant?” Nat reasoned.

“No, he would be so happy. He wants to be a dad, it’s just so sudden,” you said in distress.

“It’s always sudden with this situation. But what’s more important is that you have support. Whatever your decision is in the end we'll all support you, even Bucky,” Nat told you.

Bucky came back home and immediately knew that there was something that was upsetting you. You promised him that you were alright but you were conflicted. You tried to tell him, you really did, but there wasn’t a good time. 

One night Bucky tried to initiate sex when you two had the tower to yourselves. You were instantly distant with him afraid he’d take one look at your naked body and know you were pregnant and that freak you out. 

“Baby, are you ok?” Bucky asked that night.

“Yeah, I just don’t feel good,” you didn’t actually lie, the pregnancy did affect your appetite drastically and many foods you used to adore before were repulsive to you. 

“Oh ok, do you need anything?” he was concerned.

“No, I think I’m ok.”

Now present day, you and Bucky hadn’t had sex since. It’s been a little over two months and Bucky wasn’t frustrated per say but he missed you; he missed having his hands on your warm and soft skin. He missed the way you squirmed under him and the little whimpers you made. How good your walls felt as he thrusted in and out of you torturously slow. 

You two were in the kitchen sitting with some of the other team members. So far only Nat and Wanda knew about your pregnancy as hard as it was to not tell Vision or Steve or literally anyone. You stared at the breakfast sitting in front of you; it used to be your favorite but looking at it and smelling it was making you extremely nauseous. 

“Baby?” Bucky rubbed your back.

“Hm?”

“Why aren’t you eating? It’s your favorite,” he said.

“I’m not too hungry,” you said.

Bucky wasn’t convinced but because you were in front of other people he didn’t want you to feel embarrassed like a father scolding a teenager. His hand rested on your thigh and immediately felt your leg tense up. 

You retracted and stood up walking away without saying a word and Bucky was confused and followed you quickly shoving as much food in his mouth as he could and tossed his plate in the sink. 

“What’s going on with them?” Steve asked.

“Oh no are they gonna break up?” Sam asked with genuine concern, as much as he fucked around with Buck he did admire your relationship. You are really good for him and he loved you unconditionally.

“No, it’s just-” Wanda started.

“Wanda,” Nat warned. 

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” she rolled her eyes, “There fine. Y/n’s just not feeling well and she doesn’t want to be bothered.”

Bucky walked into your shared room and found you changing into yet another hoodie. That’s when he started piecing things together; or at least he thought. You were always wearing very big clothing and covering your body; that he thought was the most beautiful he’d ever laid eyes on. You were constantly nauseous and refused to eat even some of your favorites dishes and meals. You wouldn’t let him touch even though he’s initiated a couple of times.

“Y/n?” Bucky asked.

“What?” you played dumb.

“Y/n, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, I told you I don’t feel good.”

“That seems to be your excuse a lot.”

“What does that mean?” you asked.

“Y/n, be honest with me. Are you starving yourself?” he had tears in his eyes; he couldn’t even think about you doing this to yourself.

“What! Bucky no! I’m not, ugh, just,” you stuttered.

“What is going on, please tell me, baby?”

“I’m pregnant!”

Silence. Bucky was shocked. You were pregnant? How long? Why didn’t you tell him? 

“I’m so sorry, Buck,” you started crying.

“No, no, no, no, don’t cry babygirl,” Bucky hugged you tightly while you sobbed into his chest.

“I’m happy, I’m really happy and excited for us. We’re gonna be a family,” he smiled.

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“I don’t know, I know we talk about this and having a family but not now. I thought you’d be mad at me.”

“Well, I’m a bit bummed that you didn’t tell when you found out but no; I’m so happy. I love you from the bottom of my heart and I would do anything for you. I’m gonna be here every step of the way and we’re gonna get through this together, ok?”

“Ok,” you sniffled. 

“Are you ok? Do you need anything?” Bucky already started going into protective dad mode and he just found out.

“No I just need you,” you whispered. 

“God, I love you,” Bucky picked you up and laid you on the bed littering your face in kisses.

“Does anyone else know?” he asked you.

“Well, uh, the girls,” you said.

“You told the girls?”

“Well, they were drinking and i declined because I was feeling sick and they joked that I was pregnant so we all took pregnancy tests as a joke but mine came out positive. I took two more and they were all positive,” you started tearing up.

“Hey don’t cry, it’s ok.”

“Sorry,” you laughed.

“We’re gonna be ok, right baby?” he whispered.

“Yeah, I love you.”

Bucky leaned down again and pressed kisses to your neck making you giggle. His warm hands trailed under your shirt making your skin burst into chills. Bucky’s lips continued their assault on your neck and before you knew Bucky started lifting your sweater over your head.

You did the same to Bucky and your chests were pressed against each other instantly as he kissed you hard. Bucky trailed kisses down your body slowly, hands rubbing your skin softly, lips staying longer than usual around your stomach for obvious reasons. 

Bucky peeled your sweats from your body and didn’t hesitate to dive in. His tongue licking a long strip against your pussy. You moan softly and your hips wiggled under him. He pressed down on you to keep you from squirming but you were getting very close to your orgasm and it just felt too good. 

Bucky brought his fingers and circled your entrance before inserting a finger slowly. He looked up at you moaning at his fingers and this encouraged Bucky to insert another one. His fingers slipped in and out with ease with your arousal practically dripping from you. 

Bucky leaned forward and circled his tongue around your clit. The obsecene sounds of Bucky finger fucking you echoed in the room and you finallly climax, cumming all over his finger. Bucky crawled up your tired body after taking his pants and boxers off. 

Bucky didn’t bother putting a condom considering you’ve been his only partner the past couple years and he got you pregnant. He pumped his cock a few times before grabbing your legs to wrap around his waist and easily slipped between your folds. 

“Fuck, baby girl. You feel so good,” Bucky moaned in your ear.

“Oh shit, yes,” you whimpered.

“Oh you’re gonna be so beautiful when you're all big and swollen, shit. You’re gonna be the sexiest mommy in this whole fucking world.”

“Ugh! And you’re gonna be such a sexy daddy,” you smirked and cupped his face.

He leaned down and kissed you passionately. He thrusted into you harder and your back arched into his chest, moaning high pitched and loudly. Your hands tugged on his hair and Bucky groaned in your mouth. 

“Oh Buck, I’m gonna come,”you said against his lips.

“Let go, baby. Come for me, mommy,” Bucky said. 

You came hard; your body contracted and trembled, your stomach tightened, your toes curled, and your legs pulled Bucky deep inside you, hot spurts of his cum coating your walls. Bucky settled on you but bounced back afraid he was crushing the baby.

He went to the bathroom, well practically sprinted, and returned with a warm towel to clean you up. Your body laid still while you were cleaned and you just watched Bucky with adoration. He left again and returned wearing boxers and held a bottle of your favorite lotion that you usually saved for special nights or for Tony’s parties.

You smiled and got comfortable as Bucky poured some lotion in his hand. His hands spread the lotion evenly on your body; thumbs skimming your sensitive nipples, gently caresses all over your stomach, teasing grazes along your inner thighs. You closed your eyes and felt euphoria. 

The love of your life was really pampering you and you felt so good. 

“I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you, too,” Bucky kissed your forehead, crawling into the bed with you.

“Let’s stay in all day. My girl is pregnant and she’s gonna need all the rest she can get,” Bucky joked.

“But what about-”

“No, who cares,” bucky interrupted.

“But-”

“No buts.”

“What are we gonna tell the rest of the team?”

“Oh, well. It’s your body, your comfort. You tell them when you feel it’s best. But I do hope it’s soon because I’m so happy and I don’t think i'd be able to keep this a secret for long,” Bucky dived his head in your neck making you laugh.

“Ok,” you whispered.

“Man, I’m gonna be a dad,” Bucky sighed happily.

“You’re gonna be daddy,” you said innocently.

“I’m already your daddy,” he playfully growled.

“Then you’re gonna be two types of daddy,” you smirked.

“Two types of daddy.”

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