#this honestly feels so surreal I’m so unbelievably excited

[erik-christine]

I just bought tickets to see the phantom of the opera. I wanna die when ramin sends the flaming chandelier crashing down

[theemporium]

[3.5k] after his iconic first race win in formula one, lando gets to celebrate with his three favourite people. or, the charlandax smut i accidentally promised after a lando win with a lestappen podium. (smut)

note: this is fucking filthy and i kinda feel like i need to go to a confession booth. okay bye, nobody perceive me after this. she’s also unedited so beware (I’m too lazy to reread and edit rn)

.

Lando Norris felt like he was on top of the fucking world but maybe that was just how it felt from the top step of the podium.

It hadn’t really hit him yet, despite his ears ringing from his own screams and the cheers from the crowd and the fans and his own team. It didn’t feel real until the national anthem began playing through the speakers, until he heard his team singing along, until he realised this was his reality. 

He was a Grand Prix winner. 

Finally. 

Surreal was the only word to describe how he felt. After years of second-place and third-place podium finishes, of people telling him his time would come, of having so many close calls, he did it. He fucking did it. And he didn’t just skim a win, it was fully fucking his as he soared past the chequered flag.

And for once, Lando basked in the knowledge that all eyes were on him. It didn’t give him that prickling, itching feeling under his skin. It didn’t make him want to  hunch his shoulders up to his ears. It didn’t make the little voice in the back of his head send him spiralling over every little thing he could be doing wrong. 

He had just won the Miami Grand Prix and everyone was staring at him and he fucking loved it.

But it meant more than just a win to Lando, it meant so much more than a trophy to add to his collection back home. It was about the years spent achieving this dream. It was about the effort and the support he had from the team to reach this point. It was about sharing this moment and standing on the podium with two people who meant the fucking world to him with the third watching all three of them from down below. 

It meant the fucking world to Lando. 

It was a blur of happiness and excitement and adrenaline as he stood on that top step. It felt like he was in a movie when the trophy was handed to him, the number one staring back at him like it was reminding him he had done it. It felt like a fucking dream when the champagne celebration started, his hand barely wrapped around the neck of the bottle when Charles and Max drenched and drowning him in champagne.

It was completely fucking unbelievable this was finally his reality.

Time was a blur of big smiles, loud cheers and so many people congratulating him. It was overwhelming in the best way possible, it made something in his chest burst with pride as he felt his team slap him on the back as he walked through the garage. He felt like his life was complete when you threw your arms around him, tugging him close until your bodies felt like one.

“M’so cold,” he murmured as he wound his arms around you, holding you closer as he buries his face into your neck for some privacy, despite the countless cameras pointing at him.

“I’m so proud of you,” you whispered back, just loud enough for him to hear because he was the only one who mattered in that moment. “This is the first of many.”

He sniffled, feeling his throat close up a bit but he just squeezed you tighter when the words didn’t come out as smoothly as he wanted. 

However, you were pulled away from him seconds later as he was directed towards the camera. With media duties and team debriefs and many more commitments, he didn’t have time to stop and celebrate with the people he wanted. He had to perform for the cameras, for the fans, for the people watching before he could. 

And honestly, he couldn't complain. There were worse problems to have.

His brain was running a million miles an hour, so many thoughts and feelings and emotions to try and comprehend that he barely noticed the other person in his driver’s room until the door shut behind him and he felt a pair of lips on his. 

“I am so proud of you, mon champion,” Charles murmured against his lips, the kiss short-lived due to the huge smile on his face. He pulled back enough to look at Lando properly, his hands holding the Brit’s face. “So, so proud of you.”

Lando felt his cheeks burn. “M’glad you and Max were up there with me,” he admitted, that funny feeling in his chest returning before he glanced around the room noticing that Charles was the only one in his driver room. “Where are the others?�� Pause. “How did you even sneak in here?”

“I have my ways,” Charles answered vaguely, his eyes glinting with mischief. “And I’m here to help you hurry up. They are waiting in the car.” 

Lando snorted. “And they sent you to hurry me up?” 

“I may have come third, mon amour, but I’m still fast.” 

Despite his words, it took a few more minutes of Charles pressing kisses all over his face and mumbling a load of French that Lando didn’t understand before he was finally able to grab his belongings and make it out of the McLaren motorhome. 

His whole body was buzzing with energy, far too hyped up to even care about the way his face burned when he climbed into the backseat of Charles’ race weekend car, unable to wipe the smile off his face. 

This. 

This was what he had been waiting for. 

This moment to be with the people who loved more than his heart knew he was capable of. A moment to be with the people who believed in him no matter what, even when the rest of the world doubted him. 

And if Lando was being so completely honest, he was so lost in the buzz of his win that he didn’t think anything about your hand resting on his upper thigh. He was still lost in the race a few hours ago, still lost in the feeling of crossing the line and hearing Will’s voice over the radio confirming he secured his first Formula One Grand Prix win. 

So lost in that moment that he barely had a chance to drop his backpack on the floor of Max’s huge hotel suite before the Dutchman was reaching for him. With the privacy of the hotel room door locked from the rest of the world, Max didn’t hold back as he raked his hand through Lando’s curls. His fingers twisted in his hair, tugging sharply as his teeth nipped the Brit’s bottom lip. 

Lando couldn’t help himself when he let out a whine.

“Fuck,” Max groaned, tugging on his hair again as he watched Lando’s eyes flutter shut. “Look at our race winner, hm? So pretty, schat.”

Lando’s lips parted but words were lost on him. Instead, his eyes darted where you saddled up against Max’s side, head resting on his shoulder as you looked at Lando with a massive grin. 

“I think you broke him,” you teased, a faux pout on your lips. “Guess that throws all our plans out the window.”

Lando blinked before quickly shaking his head. “I—no, wait, what plans?”

Max grinned. “Your reward, baby. Didn’t think we were gonna celebrate your big day, huh?”

“I—” Lando paused, feeling something deep in his stomach twist in desire. “I just…I don’t know. I thought we were gonna go out…or something.”

“We could,” Charles spoke up as he slipped in behind Lando, his hands on the younger boy’s waist. “If that’s what you want. We can go out and celebrate with everyone else.”

Lando swallowed. “Or?”

“Or,” you repeated, your eyes lingering on his kiss-swollen lips. “You let us treat you like a proper race winner.”

“And what does that treatment include?” Lando asked, because that was just who he was. That little brat in him that wanted to know his options, that wanted to know exactly how he was being rewarded, who wanted to know exactly what was getting done to him. The little brat in him that was mouthy and sassy and usually got put in his place—that wanted to be put in his place.

And Max knew that. He knew that if he reached down, Lando was probably half-hard already. He knew that no matter what he said, Land would be down for it. He could see the glint in the Brit’s eyes, that realisation of what he could have without realising it. 

“Anything you want,” Max murmured, his thumb lightly tracing along Lando’s bottom lip. “You’re the winner, Lando. Our winner.”

…

Anything you want. 

That was his limit—completely fucking endless. He had all the control in the palm of his hands to do whatever he pleased, whatever he desired, whatever he fucking wanted. 

But that wasn’t what Lando wanted. He didn’t want to be in charge. He didn’t want to be the person making the calls and decisions. That wasn’t his role in the bedroom and he never really wanted to be. He liked being the one who got to lay back, the one that people tried to tame and dominate only to realise he didn’t listen as easily as people wanted. 

He liked being the one that people worked to break. 

So, that was exactly what Max gave to him and Lando only slightly regretted his decision as he slumped back against the Dutchman, grinding his ass back against the older boy’s straining cock as he threw his head back against Max’s shoulder.

“Please, please, please,” Lando whined, trying to buck his hips forwards but Max kept his body in place, just where he wanted him. “S’too much.”

“I know, schatje,” Max mused, pressing a lingering kiss at the base of his neck just to hear Lando let out a small moan at the contact. “But look how pretty they look for you, all for you. You don’t want them to stop, do you?” 

But Lando couldn’t bring himself to respond. 

“None of that,” Max muttered, squeezing Lando’s sides to get the boy to listen. “Thought my winner was gonna be good for me, huh? Look at them, Lando. Look how good they are being for you. Look at how much they are enjoying this.”

The boy only managed to let out a whimper as he fluttered his eyes open, his chin tucking into his chest as he looked down at the sight Max was demanding of him. 

And, fuck, it made his knees buckle.

The two of you were absolute fucking messes. It felt like something out of a porno, one that would have Lando panting and whining and fantasising about because never once did he think it was realistic. And yet, here you and Charles were, looking like something out of his deepest desires. 

He couldn’t focus on one of you, it would have been a crime to not stare and ogle you both. The way you both looked utterly perfect on your knees in front of him, glossy eyes and flushed cheeks and looking so fucking blissed out as you both worshipped his cock—like you were fulfilling a purpose, like this was what the two of you were made for. 

And it was messy as fuck, something that maybe would have been gross to everyone else in the world, but Lando thought it was so fucking hot. The evidence of his previous orgasms splattered across you both, covering your lips and chins and naked chests. The way your lips wrapped around the head of his cock as Charles licked down the underside of his cock until he nosed Lando's balls. The way Charles had one hand wrapped around his leaking cock, pumping and stroking himself as you squeezed and played with your tits like it would give you some relief. 

But it wasn’t about your pleasure or Charles’ or Max’s. 

It was all about Lando. 

“Such good sluts on their knees for you,” Max muttered, lips brushing against his ear as his warm breath tickled against Lando’s skin. “Usually that’s you, schat. Getting on your knees for me, doing whatever I tell you.”

“Fuck,” he let out in a breathless whimper, turning his head to try and nuzzle his face into Max’s neck. 

“Do you like this, Lando? Like seeing them be such whores for your cock? So desperate and needy?” Max continued, his hands tightening on the younger boy’s waist as he looked down at you and Charles.

You let out a whine at his words, your thighs clenched together and your eyes fluttering shut as you traced your tongue along the slit of his cock. Your moans vibrated around his cock, leaving the boy a puddle underneath your touch as Charles placed wet, open-mouthed kisses along his balls. 

“Bet they would stay there all night if you wanted them to,” Max mused as his eyes caught teary green eyes staring up at him, desperation shining in the pretty colour of them. “Bet Charles would love to take your cock down his pretty throat, he always does it so well for me. Hm, amour? Think you could take our pretty winner’s cock like a good boy?”

The sound Charles let out was pitiful and straight out of a fucking porno.

“Max,” Lando breathed out, his hands reaching back to try and grab onto the Dutchman. “Please, I-I need…”

“What do you need?” Max questioned, squeezing his sides. “Need more than their mouths, baby? Or maybe you need more than that.”

Lando felt his whole face burn as he let out a shameless moan when one of Max’s hands began wandering, when his fingers brushed along his skin before squeezing the fat of his ass. 

“The champagne wasn’t enough, hm? Maybe we need to fill you up,” Max suggested, like it was something as casual as talking about dinner options. “Bet you’d feel so nice and tight around me, baby. Maybe let Charles fill your pretty throat instead.”

“Please,” Lando whined.

“Yeah, you want that?” He could feel Max’s smile against his skin. “Let our pretty girl bounce on your cock whilst we fill you up? She would look so pretty sitting on top of you.”

Lando nodded his head vigorously, his nails slightly digging into Max’s skin. “I need it, Max, need it so bad.”

Max’s teeth scraped along the side of his neck. “Beg for it.” 

So he did. 

He begged for it until his voice was hoarse and his legs were shaking and his babbles were practically incoherent. He begged until he felt Max’s lips on his skin, joined by Charles and yours moments later as you three kissed and worshipped every inch of his body. He begged until his face was burning red, his blush spreading down his neck and chest as you praised him—your race winner—until he couldn’t take it any more.

He begged for it as you held his face, prepping kisses all over his face whilst Max worked him open. 

He begged for it as Charles marked along his neck and chest to help him relax as Max slowly slid inside him, stretching him open until he was a whimpering mess.

He begged for it as you slowly sunk down on his cock, your cunt already soaking and slick with your own arousal as he buried himself inside you. 

He begged for it until his hands were gripping Charles’ thighs, nails digging into his skin as he urged his cock further down his throat until he felt fucking full.

“Fuck, baby,” you moaned, rocking your hips back and forth as you let your hands skim along his skin. Your fingers traced along the planes of his abs, watching them softly clench under your touch before you traced along his sides. You kept your hands moving, feeling the need to touch every fucking inch of him as he preened and squirmed under your touch. “You look so perfect like this.” 

Lando let out a muffled moan around Charles’ cock.

“Letting us fill you up, make you feel so good,” you continued, the walls of your pussy clenching around him. “This is what our race winner deserves. So pretty and fast today, baby, it’s so hot.”

One of his hands let go of Charles, blindly reaching out towards you until you caught the hint to intertwine your fingers together. You raised it to your lips, pressing a soft kiss onto the back of his hand and something about the soft gesture whilst his body was being fucked into an inch of his life made the boy spiral. 

He couldn’t do anything but just take it, let the overwhelming pleasure wash over him until his whole body felt like it was on fire. His nerve endings felt like they had been turned up beyond the dial, like every touch was more thrilling than he could ever imagine. The words of praise was a muffled mess around him, three voices all mixed together as he felt hands all over his body. He felt safe, he felt full, he felt complete. 

It was a blur of too much pleasure and excitement and gratification when he finally came, white spots dotting his vision as he felt himself completely spill inside you whilst your cunt clenched around him, as Max’s cock hit the perfect spot deep inside him with every thrust. He was so lost in his own orgasm, in his own moans and whines and noises to fully realise the domino effect he started. 

To really appreciate the sight of you coming on his cock, bouncing up and down on his cock whilst your tits moved with each thrust. To really enjoy the sensation of Max coming deep inside him, squeezing him so hard that he was sure his skin would bruise the next day. To watch the way Charles stroked himself a few more times before spilling over his chest, just for you to lean down and lick up the mess until you leaned down to kiss him senseless. 

To be completely honest, he was waiting to wake up and realise this whole day was a dream. 

But he blinked. And blinked once more for good measure. And your smiling face was still there to reassure him this was real, that everything about today was real. 

“Hey,” he whispered, voice a little rough and hoarse. 

“Hey, baby,” you grinned back at him as you raised your hand to gently cup his face, your thumb wiping away a few stray tears that slipped out. “How are you feeling, Mr Race Winner?”

And despite the exhaustion settled deep in his bones, Lando beamed at you. “Feel like I’m the king of this fucking world.”

You giggled. “Then our job here is complete.” 

Lando huffed out a laugh, his eyes fluttering shut as he tried to fight the urge to curl up and sleep for the next week straight. 

“Don’t tell me that’s you done for the night,” Max’s voice spoke from somewhere else in the room, somewhere away from the bed but Lando couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes just yet. “There’s a whole city wanting to celebrate with you tonight.”

“Ugh, being a race winner is so much work,” Lando whined playfully, reaching for you to pull you closer before you could pull away from him. “Let’s just stay here forever.”

“All a part of the title, mon amour,” Charles teased as he settled down beside the younger boy on the bed. He leaned in, placing a quick kiss to Lando’s forehead. “I heard the other drivers making bets on who could buy you the most shots.”

Lando let out a breath. “Fuck, they are gonna try to kill me.”

“We wouldn’t let that happen,” you assured him, but he could hear the smile in your voice. “I’m sure Max would join you.”

“Thanks, schat,” Max grumbled as he wandered back into the room, a wet washcloth in his hand. “We have a few hours before we are meant to meet everyone anyways. Have a nap, you can shower when you wake up.”

Lando blinked his eyes open, a cheeky smile on his face. “Alone?”

Max rolled his eyes. “It’s never enough for you.”

“I’m a high maintenance guy,” Lando replied. 

“We know,” you murmured with a snort, only to gasp when he pinched your side. “Hey!”

“You can’t yell at me, I’m a race winner,” he shot back at you, grinning wider when you rolled your eyes. 

“Yes, that is exactly how this works,” Charles snorted as he slumped down on the pillow beside Lando, reaching for the Brit to curl up beside him. “That and club blowjobs.”

“It was one time,” Max grumbled. “And it wasn’t even my idea!”

“I didn’t regret it for a second,” you smiled shamelessly at the Dutchman before raising your hand, trying to pull him down onto the bed with the three of you. “C’mon, we can clean up properly later. I wanna cuddle.” 

“So needy.”

“In the wise words of race winner Lando Norris, I’m a high maintenance guy.”

“Hell yeah, baby,” Lando murmured, his cheek pressed into the pillow with a sleepy smile on his face. “Someone stitch that onto a pillow.” 

“Please go to sleep before I gag you both.” 

“They would probably like that, mon amour.”

“You too, Charles.” 

“Always so bossy, Verstappen.”

.

[justaredheadf1fan]

Barcelona GP, better known as one of the best weekends I remember, ever

Masterlist

Well, I can finally write about this!

I would’ve written yesterday after finishing up at the circuit if I hadn’t been so freaking beat! Jesus, it was exhausting as well as exciting as hell. We nearly didn’t make it, that heat wave was horrific! Now, back to business 🤪

So, we missed Friday, of course. No biggie. Saturday came and started as the disaster we truly are. We miscalculated big time and we arrived later than we expected. Missed exits on the road because of the shitty GPS plus me being the worst and poor signaling on the organization’s part, which I expected to not happen after so many years of organizing this event but whatever. We arrived and went looking for our gate only to find not only that it was all the way up the hill, but also that there was a line of people so long we passed the following gate until we finally arrived at the end of it. Yes, I’m telling it like I’d tell the rest of my friends at any point, don’t mind me. 28ºC already at 11 or so, we were DYING. Sun blazing like there was no tomorrow, and it was almost true. Add to it that we both look like a piece of paper and burn too easily, the party had already began for us.

The line was done fairly quick, at least comparing to what we expected to be the longest wait ever. We did miss most of FP3 though, we caught the last 15 minutes or so at most. A shame really, but the sudden wave of happiness when we finally got to the track and started seeing the cars flying around was the best. I can’t really describe the feeling, honestly. I don’t think I’ve ever been that happy about anything, truth be told. My smile was huge, I almost started crying, actually 😂

Once FP3 was done, we looked for our seats, started slowly dying in the sun and we went for something refreshing while W Series came on (sorry we missed it, ladies), otherwise it would’ve been a very, very long afternoon melting onto our seats. I wasn’t planning on it but while waiting in line for some Coca Cola (we needed some sugar to endure that hell) I was getting drowsy from the sun burning through my skull, which I knew was a very bad sign that early on, so I succumbed and bought a Merc cap, otherwise it probably would’ve ended badly at that point. Not that the *Mercedes* part of the cap was the saving factor. But, when choosing among all the options, it had to be Mercedes. Duh. It could’ve also been an old Renault cap with Daniel’s number on it, I really thought about it, buuuuut my heart beat me to it, even though the Mercedes cap was expensive as hell for my taste. It is what it is. I’m happy with it anyway. Quite the savior and the mood booster, if I think about it. I got quite a few interesting looks while wearing it, specially from RedBull/Inbred Frog fans. Very nice, indeed.

Quali was surreal. It was so exciting, so many people there, and the results were pretty amazing for our boys too. We had some Leclerc/Ferrari fans behind us, which for me was purely fantastic. And a couple Merc fans on Marina’s side. So, very nice. The ambiance was incredible, in general, people were super nice. When we were leaving some British girls started talking to us and it was quite fun. Ultimately, we took a good 2 hours waiting in the car before we even started moving out of the parking lot because it was impossible, as much as arriving was. But we made it back and that was an amazing Day 1 at Montmeló.

Then Sunday (yesterday) came, and it was still so unbelievable. Many more people comparing to Saturday, and seeing what happened on Saturday, we decided to get there pretty damn early, and it worked. We got a little lost again with the fantastic signals around the parking lots, but much less than the day before, so that was something and we parked pretty close to the entrance and pretty quickly too so yeah, we learnt our lesson 😁

We walked around a little, saw the Main Stands and the Fan Zone behind it. We saw the start of Formula 3, which was amazing. The sound of those cars up close was insane, so I can’t even imagine how F1 cars will sound like right there directly in front of them. It must be pretty special. We even saw the start of Formula 2 from our stand this time, but went for something to eat prior to the F1 race taking advantage that there weren’t so many people yet, so we missed the rest of that race. The ambiance was much more amazing even than Saturday’s, as it was so packed. Over 121,000 people came as it turns out. I still don’t have good enough words to describe it.

Then, it was time for Formula 1. Whoa. I mean. Whoa. Driver’s Parade came right after F2 finished, and there was an hour and a half break more or less so we escaped to find a little shade, otherwise I don’t think we would’ve lasted the whole race in the sun. 36ºC already at that point, so I guessed that’s why they only made a single lap around the track? No idea, but it was super short.

Finally, the race came and that was impressive. To watch it live, to hear the sound of the car engines, the speed. A dream come true would be an understatement. Kevin’s crash onto Lewis, Carlos and then Verstappen going off the track (we were the only ones cheering in our stand while watching that), Lewis gaining position after position after dropping to P19 at the very beginning, Charles losing power right after he passed through the turn we were watching from, George keeping Verstappen at bail… I can’t describe all of this. It’s been over 24h now and I just can’t say a word that would match what we’ve lived this past weekend. Even the Aston Martin Safety Car was sexy this past weekend, for fuck’s sake.

Some pictures I’m particularly happy about:

I obviously have more, but apparently I’ve reached the limit. Anyway, I need to go back 😭

Finally, I wanna say thank you. Thank you to my friend Marina, because for 7 and a half years I missed out on so many incredible races and content about my most favorite (kind of) idiots due to an absurd reasoning on my part and then she came along and opened my eyes back to one of the things I used to love the most when I was just a kid who liked sports more than most girls did back then. I would’ve never gone to Barcelona in the first place if not for her. I’m so grateful you can’t imagine what this has given me on such a deep level. It’s been so long since I last cried because I didn’t wanna let go of such an incredible thing that I just lived. A thing so magnificent regardless of what some people are turning it into, that I wanted time to stop altogether and stay in that moment. It’s been such a pleasure, that next year we’re going back whatever it takes.

To whoever’s reading, I don’t care how many people you are, where you are and that you don’t even know me, thank you. I’m never letting go of this ever again.

Next up is Monaco, I’m moving on Friday and I’m not supposed to start working until Monday, so I really hope I can watch more or less everything during the weekend without issue. At least until I can figure out how will work interfere with the following races and I can organize myself to watch everything in a timely fashion anyway.

Peace out!

[themeghaproject]

One Year of Med School Completed!!

MY FIRST YEAR OF MED SCHOOL IS DONE. INSANITY!! I passed all my exams and in August I’ll officially be an M2. It’s a little surreal I just did a whole year of med school sucessfully. I still feel like I know nothing but there is some level of uneasiness that has disappeared. 

Mid October, I didn’t sleep the night before my week in the hospital began because I was so unbelievably nervous. I had no idea where anything was, I barely knew my classmates, and my medical knowledge could be summed up in three sentences. Flash forward to April, my friends and I decide to stop by the hospital after a meeting at school to check out a bake sale. We’re pleasantly chatting and laughing as we make our way to the hospital cafeteria. No hesitation about if we’re going in the right direction or if security is going to stop us..this is such a small instance of comfort and if I was walking into the hospital to do anything legitimate I’d still freak out, but hey, I’ll still count this as a win!  

I wish I had some advice to give about the first year but I don’t. I think my experience was so different given the pandemic. I will say that while the vast knowledge that is demanded of you is incredibly difficult one of the harder aspects for me was the loneliness. For the first time in my life, I found myself standing in unfamiliar territory that no one close to me understood. My life looked so different from my friends and family. In the past year, there have been so many instances where I would go to dinner with my childhood friends and I would simply stay silent and smile as they told me about all the wild adventures they go on as “normal” 21 year olds. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t leave me feeling insecure. 

 I decided to seek out help. I started seeing a therapist in January, and it’s been great! It’s nice to have a neutral third party to rant to, and even though I like to think I’m pretty self aware, she brings a fresh new perspective. She has made me realize things about myself that I was pretty oblivious to before. That being said, I sometimes find all the psychoanalysis annoying. I already spend so much time overthinking my every move. I think I’m learning my journey with therapy may be a bit disjointed and infrequent.

While there have been difficulties and breakdowns, there have also been successes and wins! I like to think I’ve made a few friends. They’re all great and I genuinely love spending time with them! I am excited to make more connections as we move to a more in-person format in August. Whether it feels like it or not, my medical knowledge has increased. 

Medical school was nothing like what I anticipated. I think when I first started this blog I expected to fill it with cute, rom-com type funny stories..ya there haven’t been very many of those LOL. Medical school isn’t the fantasy musical I had created in my head. I blame myself for that but it was also EVERYONE around me who perpetuated that. For years, people in my life told me that I just needed to put my head down and work hard because when I went to med school “everything would fall into place”. I think something a lot of medical students learn fairly early on is that in this long journey there’s never a time where it gets easier. Fun doesn’t disappear. Not at all. You just have to make time for the fun and the “easy”. There won’t come a time where you can be like “okay! it’s over!” because the path to becoming a physician is relentless. 

I’m honestly a little shocked at how I carried myself this year. This is the most academic stress I’ve ever endured yet I wasn’t as “crazy” as I have been in the past. Maybe it’s maturity and maybe it’s exhaustion. Caring is important. I still find myself occasionally answering emails in the shower lmao..but am I checking my grades while I’m out with friends or while I’m driving? No.

With one year down, I’m trying to figure out if I’m happy with where I am, with how I did. I’m not at the top of my class, school doesn’t consume my every thought, and I’m not in 10 research projects. I’ll be honest: those facts stress me out a little but I’m also strangely okay with it. I want to be the best doctor I can be but I don’t think I want that to be my whole life--a revelation 17 year old me would have a stroke hearing. My final verdict is that I’m proud of myself for making it here and after this break I’m ready to get back to it and do even better! Happy Summer! 

[purplerose244]

Irrational - Chapter 3: Out of this world

Third day is here, with another piece for the @spacecampweek!

This one I really liked writing, it's honestly shameless fluff and romance so I hope you like that sort of thing 😂 In these the guys are adults, Seamus got his dream job and not only that! 😉😉

EDIT: I mentioned this in the AO3 chapter, but this story was inspired by this beautiful fanart made by @pastelideas! 🥰

Enjoy!! 💙

Summary: At last, it was finally here, the moment Seamus had been waiting for. A space suit secured onto him, the vastity of the universe outside the porthole, and the love of his life by his side. At last, he was making his dream come true.

Read it on the AO3

This was the most outstanding, most unbelievable moment of his life.

Everything was perfect, exactly like he had imagined… alright, not completely, but mostly because back in high school Seamus’ biggest aspiration was making it into college and finally leave that dang house with his dang father. It hadn’t turned out the way he had expected, the nostalgia had come out of nowhere while preparing his things to move to campus, his father’s tears had been out of this world – heh, the irony of now. All things considered, it had been a while since he dreamed about this moment, between one thing and the other.

Alas, it was a beautiful as it could get. It was dark and mysterious, completely different from what he was used to on Earth, but exactly for that absolutely intriguing. It was also light, luminous, in a way it was hard to described. It was everything he could had ever hoped for. Right there, only a porthole of distance. Right there, for him.

Krel’s laugh shook him from the trance, he was holding his helmet.

“Are you okay? It looks like you are having a core-attack.” His eyes were so soft today. It was a rare sight for someone that had gone through so much, even after years. Such a beautiful sight.

“I’m fine! Just… just nervous.” More than this prince could think. Seamus took a breath, tapping onto the pockets of his suit out of stress. “This is a pretty big moment for me.” Gosh he could feel his arms shaking underneath the cloth, this was so out of the blue. He had programmed this moment for so long, of course he did, but he didn’t doubt that something could go wrong. He hoped that at least, he could enjoy some, without immediately blaming the first error on himself. It was a really bad tendency of his, that hadn’t fully left him even after finishing college.

Unnatural blue eyes came into view, along with a grin. The blonde gulped, then he smiled when the prince pressed a quick kiss on his lips, before putting his helmet.

“Come on, astronaut, you’ve been waiting for this long enough!”

“This is the first time you’re calling me astronaut for a reason.”

“You do not get to say that after getting lost into your own thoughts once again, like a human floating in zero gravity.” He walked towards the exit of the ship. Seamus felt his stomach twitching. Every moment felt like a discovery. “Ready?”

Seamus patted his pants once again.

He breathed in and out, the sound echoing into the helmet. He nodded.

The way his horizon widened towards infinity stole his breath right away. It was night. It wasn’t of course, that was all space, yet it felt like an absolute, impossibly dark night. Gorgeous stellar world, where there was no bound, the limit put by Earth itself was completely broken. His eyes were fixed over the black sea above them, he couldn’t look away. Then he caught a mountain through his eyes and followed it to the ground. It was no cheese. He knew that, he had always known. Even so, he fact that he could actually go back on Earth and state one hundred percent that it wasn’t was filling him with a strange excitement mixed with tears. It was all gray and white. It was actually here. He would have been okay at looking at this forever, just to know that he had actually made it.

He heard another giggle behind his back, a whispered “Astronaut indeed”, so he forced himself to move a step, even though he was afraid to break such magic. No gravity. He actually laughed, feeling tears coming up. Like in the books, like in the simulation he had gone through, he was moving slowly without being pushed towards the ground. It was happening. He moved a second step. The same. He decided to jump, absolutely ecstatic.

Everything was possible. The moment he was detached from the ground he truly felt like everything was possible. His stomach was almost numb he was feeling this ecstatic. Then the descent happened, and he failed to calculate the timing, slowly landing over his butt. It didn’t hurt. It felt like he was trying to reach somewhere while in water.

Oh, Krel was having a blast at this. He couldn’t hear him, but his mouth was moving, and he was holding his stomach. Any other day Seamus would have rolled his eyes, trying to call him out on something else – “What are you laughing at, it takes half the time for you to get knocked out!” –, but today wasn’t one of these days. Today his boyfriend was simply glowing, immerse into his natural element, almost one with the infinite beauty of the moon and space all around them. He had never gone back to Akiridion-5, they had never visited, it was always Aja coming for him. It was the first time seeing him like this and it was a sight.

Better not say that to him though. He was already weak for him, especially today. Seamus pointed at his ear, the prince gulped and nodded, finally activating his communicator.

The blonde grinned, despite the embarrassment.

“Having fun over there, your majesty?”

“The most I have ever had ever since I taught that one math teacher how to deal with the third dimension.” He smirked, getting closer to him. Despite the extraterrestrial appearance, he seemed to move at his same speed. “What is up with you people and your will to test me, anyway?”

“First, it’s been eight years since the Math Duel. I was a jerk, I was still under my father’s wing, and you weren’t exactly making it easier by being all snarky about your votes.” Krel huffed. Again, better not say that that day had been the dealbreaker that had made the blonde realize just how much he wanted to know him – he was trying not to choke over here. “Second, that was a university teacher, you taught a university teacher how to do their job. That’s considered a little offensive.”

“Yeah, I have noticed. Humans are sensible.” He offered him a hand, pulling him up with two. “Clumsy too, I cannot believe your first mission is retrieving a broken rover. Bunch of globers.”

Seamus snickered, eyes down, getting pulled up.

“Again, eight years. Still calling everyone humans?”

“It is more of an endearing term at this point.” Krel smirked, pulling out his serrator. It was raised, projecting a map with a special location highlighted. It was a good thing his boyfriend liked to take charge. “Come on.” No way he could ever say no.

The moon was big. Of course it was, he had exhausted all of his local library with info about it, this wasn’t nothing new to him. Expect it was. It was nothing like the tales his mom used to read him before going to bed. It wasn’t like the magazines he used to sneak in the bathroom instead of doing his father’s math homework. It wasn’t like the posters of Arcadia’s planetarium, where he had been spending most of his time as a kid, and his very first date with Krel as a guy. It wasn’t the same because this time it was real, all around him. His mind was racing, every single thought was pulsing into the middle of his brain only to leave place for another, and another, and another, making him black out for a moment. When he realized that they were still walking, as fast as they could, and he was following Krel simply by instinct, he felt everything coming back to him.

This was real. This was beautifully real.

They walked near some kind of parking lot for spaceships – he had accepted he wasn’t going to find a lifeless desert on his first mission the moment he had asked an extraterrestrial to be his boyfriend –, where Krel was lingering with the eyes a little longer than normal. Seamus managed to catch up, noticing his vague stare. The place wasn’t familiar, that insecure look of him was. He let his hand touch one of his, asking permission and getting it as they were clenched together.

“Are you okay?” The prince sighed. He knew there was no point hiding anything from him, but he seemed reluctant at getting it out. “… is this from one of your adventures?”

“It is the Hunter’s Guild lunar outpost. It used to be an extremely menacing place, but after me, Aja and Varvatos defeated the Zeron Brotherhood years ago, now only a few unthreatening subjects frequent this place. Mostly foo-foo fighters, and they are in good terms with House Taron after helping defeating Morando.” Words flew out of his mouth rapidly, like he didn’t really care about them. “… it reminds me that… I am like them. An extraterrestrial, that is.” This is what he cared about. “I belong here, I know I do, so… sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I would have made a better choice if I had gone back to Akiridion-5 with Aja.” He breathed out. He wasn’t too keen at talking out his emotions, but he always felt better afterwards. It was a him thing.

Seamus laced an arm around his shoulders, bringing him closer to him. Wearing a suit in this place was still surreal and outstanding, but he still cursed it for not being able to feel him warm against him. Being close to this person didn’t stand the confrontation with the rest of the galaxy.

“We would’ve missed you. A lot.” Krel blinked and arched an eyebrow at him. “Okay, yeah, that’s a pretty standard encouragement. I’m just saying, you went through so much and then you decided yourself what to do with your life. That’s pretty amazing.” It went unsaid that it was something the both of them hadn’t been able to have for a long time, given their fathers. “You got through high school, colleges, part-time jobs, and how about your new lab?”

He got a smile out of him. Better, better.

“Someone had to make one, to teach you humans how to actually do engineering.”

“And I know it’s gonna be good for everyone. You even got that proposal to teach at university! You’re accomplishing so much here.” He hoped he wasn’t letting himself go too much. “Aja is an amazing queen, Varvatos visits all the time, and you’re living the life you want. Isn’t this good?” He swallowed, shrugging a little. “Isn’t it good… that I am in it, too?” Again, his body was shaking. He didn’t know if it was excitement still or something else. He got Krel to laugh some more, so it had to be good.

“That was also pretty standard to say.” Maybe not. “But… also pretty good. You are good.” Maybe yes. Anything to get even a bit of his smiles, even a bit of his good moods. “I do like my life. I would not have it any other way.” If Seamus was any worried, now he was no more.

If he had any doubt, now there was no space to.

… no pun intended.

It turned out that this really was a pretty fast trip, at least judging from the map. He would have thought the location would have given him more time to enjoy the moment and the company. Again, it was to be expected something going not according to plan, it was almost a characteristic from anyone who had ever spent even a single day in Arcadia. There was no time to sulk on that, not when he was getting over rocks and dunes all over, not when the moon was there, the most vivid of his dreams and the most concrete of realities. It was getting even more vivid inside of him, to the point his mind screamed stop and his heart shouted to keep going.

“-Gaylen 1, this is Houston, come in.-”

It all came crashing down into his mind as soon as the communicator broke his thoughts. Oh no. He tried to battle the shock and went to answer. Krel was faster. Kleb.

“Drop the codename Costas, it is just us.” The prince muttered under his breath, something about why humans were so obsessed with naming and formality for something as simple as space traveling. It would have been fun in any other situation. “What is the problem?”

“-Oh! Krel!-” That man was a much more respectable person than most, but he really didn’t know how to cover himself. It made him shudder in fear. “-I, huh, I didn’t expect you’d be the one answering…-” No no, don’t make it obvious. “-… any chance I could talk alone with your boyfriend instead? It’s a pretty urgent matter that involves only, uhm, certified astronauts. I hope you understand…-” What in the world, did he learn nothing in eight years of this Akiridion?

As predicted his boyfriend frowned, clearly not liking what he had just heard. He folded the lower pair of his arms, keeping two fingers of one upper over his communicator.

“Do I understand that I am being cut off the conversation even though I was the one that built the ship in the first place? Or do I understand that you and your superiors are not out of the target, considering all the trouble you had put my family and me in the past?” There was silence on the other line. If Costas wasn’t about to ruin his perfect day Seamus would have chuckled, especially with how shamelessly this extraterrestrial was addressing the government – his boyfriend just couldn’t help getting into a fight with the system every time. “If this is about the mission, I have every right to know. Unless you are actually hiding something from me…” Abort, abort!

He could almost feel Costas’ brain struggling to find a way to come up with whatever solution to whatever problem was happening. There was some whispering in the background, a few whispered curses most likely, and Krel’s scowl wasn’t getting any less intense.

“-Uhm… the mission requires some rock samples as well.-”

Was helmet-palm a thing? Seamus felt like making it a thing. His boyfriend gaped.

“… really?”

“-Yes, yes, absolutely! We don’t have that many samples anyway, especially from this area!-” An input was sent onto the map. “-Take your time, really, enjoy the view!-”

… ah. He needed to buy some time. Great.

Seamus took a breath, feeling the echo in the helmet again, going for the communicator.

“Copy that, we’ll follow the instruction. Gaylen 1, out.” He cut the communication quickly, in order not to give Krel the possibility to pose more questions and hoping Costas wasn’t that stupid to call back to make his point even further. “Alright, it’s not far, we can make it fast!” Which was the opposite of his plan. He didn’t know how much time it was needed, but he could gain some. Picking up rocks, not the most time spending activity, but it could work.

Probably. Again, nothing was certain when you came from Arcadia.

Krel looked taken aback, it was risky giving him time to think. Luckily, his pride was already taking over his curiosity, making him pout adorably while following him. Pretending everything was fine was easier when everything felt fine with him.

“Why do I get the feeling I am solely your assistant here?”

“You said it, not me. Maybe you’re intimidated by my leadership for this mission?”

A laugh. It was a beautiful sound, on Earth as much as on the moon.

“Wow, it is your first time stumbling in space and tripping onto a no gravity surface, and you already think of yourself as the expert.” Krel grinned back, because how could he not? “You humans truly need to learn some humbleness.” Said from him, pff, what a hypocrite. And a perceptive one, he seemed to read his thoughts, giggling.

Again, the most beautiful sound.

As it turned out, there was hardly any difference from the different areas on the moon, at least for his untrained eyes. Thinking that at some point he was going to be so knowledgeable to recognize every single zone like it was his old locker from school was beyond exciting. His suit had some compartments for small rocks, it was the best he could do without having brought along actual containers – Krel was calling out the unprofessional behavior, Seamus had simply nodded along. The gathering ended pretty quickly, there was little he could think of without giving everything away, especially with his brilliant boyfriend. He almost pondered if coming clean and wait for the rest was a better idea at this point.

Then, space came to the rescue. Or rather, Earth did. The sun was coming from behind it like a sunset, radiating orange light from afar. His world looked so little, so manageable, yet so precious at the same time. Seamus was starstruck, he couldn’t move. This was going beyond what he had hoped for, this was a completely different perspective. Everything was new and exciting, everything was a new birth coming out of what he already knew.

Before he could realize it, he was sitting down, admiring the view. Before he knew, Krel was by his side, holding his arm with his head resting onto his shoulder.

It was perfect. It was unexpected, and so very perfect. Seamus smiled.

“Hey.” The prince hummed next to him. “How about we forget the assistant part, and you get to be my date? This could be a date too.” Having a date on the moon with an alien, what a concept – his six years old self would have gone mad with happiness.

Krel snickered, snuggling closer.

“I guess it is better than nothing. I reclaim the duty of being the expert though.” He could let him have this one. Just this once. “… you know, I have seen something like this before.” His voice dropped a little, more vulnerable and intimate. “It was on the way to get to the Hunter’s Guild. The travel was uneventful, and so very long. Thank Seklos we did not use Stuart’s ship for this mission.” So this was why Krel had declined for him when the durian had proposed it – he had thought he was simply afraid of the stench on the ship… well, they were not mutually exclusive. “I have never spent so much time waiting before, it was exhausting, boring and unnerving. Then, the sunset had come out.” He smiled, eyes lightening up. “It was one of the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It made me forget how wrong everything was in my life, even for just a moment.” Their fingers intertwined.

Again, Seamus cursed his suit. He wanted to be much closer to him, he always did.

“Space is pretty great, huh?”

“It was not space. I have been travelling through planets before that time, it is not that big of a deal for me anymore.” Krel pointed at that planet, theirplanet, that was slowly revealing its shining star. “It was Earth. Raw, dirty, unexpected, unbelievable Earth. It was the moment I had first thought that despite being a dumb heap, there was just something about it.” He laughed a little, sighing happily. “I believe it was the time I had first fell in love with this planet.”

His voice. His words. His posture. His eyes. Everything, everything about Krel right now was unparalleled, vivid. Him, so absolutely, outstandingly him.

Seamus had to swallow, to not let his voice crack.

“I came second then? Too late, that’s kind of a bummer.”

“You soolian.” He took his hand, pressing it against his glowing cheek. Again the dang suit. The intention alone though, it was enough to make Seamus feel warm. “One of the main reasons why I love Earth, is because it’s the reason why I met you. You were just in time.”

This was right. This was absolutely right.

At the end it was less a matter of letting as much time pass as possible and more the fact that neither of them wanted to move away, not even after the sunset had occurred. At some point the goal area was highlighted over the map again, making them remember that they were currently in space for a certain mission right now. The walk was mostly silent, Krel was really focused whenever he wanted to finish something important. Even so, Seamus couldn’t even think about the quietness, not with all the thoughts going around in his head. They were getting there, it was happening.

His breath almost stopped when Krel did, deactivating the map and looking around. He was frowning, turning over and over to have a clear view of his surroundings.

“What… where is the rover? I do not see it?”

Seamus swallowed. Nothing was around. Come on Costas, did he really need more time??

“Huh, are you sure? Maybe it’s behind some rock?”

“It’s a rover, it is not little! And we are in the middle of a monochromatic land, I believe I would notice something this distinct.” The prince walked around, two hands over his waist. “Did Costas give us the right coordinates? If he dares make such a mistake after pushing me aside during the mission I… huh?” A good sound. A very good sound. Soon the very distinct noise of wheels manifested, and a very little device arrived. It was done. “… this is no rover, and in no way broken.” Krel leaned down to have a look. Seamus did the same, but not to check. “Wait a sekton, this is not even terrestrial! What is going on?” When he touched the top of the device, something opened revealing the inside. A little box. “What? Seamus, what is…?”

Krel turned. He had to look down to find him, because while distracted the blonde had found the time to get on his knee, even without gravity. The way his face changed, from confused, to shocked, to understanding and then absolutely amazed, his hand covering his mouth, found his way into his heart for a memory that was going to last forever.

Like now, right now. This was the right moment after all. Seamus smiled.

“Sorry I tricked you, although it wasn’t completely a lie. My first mission is actually only exploratory, and I’m still having an absolute blast.” He really wished he didn’t have the helmet on right now, just to take in all of the view. Of this place. Of him. “When I was little, going to space was the biggest dream of my life, the reason why I put up with so much. Then, in high school, you came along, and turned into just another dream of mine. I couldn’t help myself wanting to turn the both of them true, in the same place, you know I’m an overachiever.” The prince wasn’t moving, his eyes were getting lucid and if it wasn’t the most amazing view in the entire universe. Seamus took a breather, stood up, and went over the little machine.

The Akiridion engineers had done a pretty good job, the device was clean and had conserved the box perfectly. Aja had gone crazy after he had told him what he wanted to do – her hugs were closer to chockers at this point. He got the box, turned around, to find his boyfriend in the same position, shaking completely.

“S-Seamus…” The blonde smiled, kneeling again. He opened the box. It was a simple ring, silver like the color of his perfectly polished inventions, an azure gem as the color of his eyes.

Sharp, to the point, like him. Beautifully him.

“I love you, so much. You made me stand up against my dad, you made me go beyond how my mom left, you always encouraged me to do what I wanted to do. You were there through everything, my best and my worst, and you’re still here now that I’m at this point. You made me a better person.” He took a deep breath, looking down just for a moment, to hold onto this second a little longer. “You are the smartest person I know, and at the same time the most caring of all. I wanna take care of you the way you always did with me, officially.” He swallowed, and finally looked up, struck by the beauty in front of him. “Krel Tarron, will you marry me?”

Words came out. At last, it was real.

Krel was completely unmoving, stuck in his position. It was a long, terrifying minute, one that still didn’t make Seamus doubt, not this time, not when he could feel the two of them this connected. Right after tears were born onto the prince’s eyes, not flowing down because of the lack of gravity, stuck onto his cheeks and floating into space. Creating stars of his own.

“Y-you gloober… y-you absolute soolian of a human…” He rubbed his eyes, almost angrily, but his grin was so wide it came out from behind his hands. “H-how am I supposed to kiss you now when you cannot take off your suit??”

Seamus laughed, standing up, feeling his own eyes pinching as well.

“Is it a yes?” Krel looked at him, his lips trembling. Then he reached out for him, fighting the gravity in order to launch himself between his arms.

“It’s a yes.”

[herewegoagainniall]

I’ll Love Her Still: Part 10 (Brian May x Female!Reader)

WELL. It’s certainly been a while, hasn’t it? I know that the whole world has just kinda....ended, but on the bright side, the quarantine has finally made me write more! I’m coming to the last few parts of the fic now, and I honestly can’t believe this journey is going to be over soon. Thank you to everyone who’s supported this story in any way, I’ll never be able to thank you all enough ❤️. 

TAGLIST: @alittlepeoplemagic​; @brianmayplease​; @brianmayscurls​; @chlobo6​; @d-illo​; @delilahmay39​; @kenzie-belle​; @killer-queen-xo​; @kiwithekiwi​; @lizzybeth1986​; @maryfree​; @moreinfinite​; @readinghorn​; @rogerscupboard​; @thelegumemother​ 

TRIGGERS: Guys there is so much angst here. Like seriously, the end of this chapter gets...kind of awful. It’s important for character development! But if fights or name calling triggers you, just sit this part out and wait for the next one. 

“Ladies and germs,” the sound of Freddie’s best flight attendant impression roused you from your slumber, “welcome to sunny California!!”

You rubbed your eyes and looked out the window at the sprawling City of Angels, feeling an excited smile spread across your face. You turned to Brian with bright eyes and held his arm tightly. “Brian!” you said through teeth that were clenched in an uncontrollable smile. “We’re here!”

Brian looked past you and out the window, smiling. “I know!” he mimicked your tone teasingly before pulling back to kiss you on the forehead.

The wheels of the plane touched down (so harshly that you and Brian literally bumped heads, something that the two of you laughed about for the next hour), and the usual production of going to the luggage carousel and declaring your belongings at customs had an added element of enchantment to it. You were finally here- Los Angeles. The American capital of the rock and roll world. Anybody who was anybody made their name out here. And now you were here with Queen; it was almost to surreal to think of.

You didn’t really get to spend much of that day with Brian- he and the boys had to rehearse at the venue and then do press, so you roamed the city with Amber. The dress she picked out for you to wear to the concert and the after party was tasteful, but still clung to your body in just the right ways. It made you feel beautiful. Hell, LA itself made you feel beautiful. Beautiful, happy and… free.

That night, Queen and Mott the Hoople played their absolute hearts out- you could swear that you watched both bands transform into rock gods right before your very eyes. Brian, Freddie, Deacy, Rog… it was a true metamorphosis for the four of them. It was the kind of life-changing performance that you could tell your grandchildren you saw, and say, “I knew them when…”

Still in the clouds after the performance, the Queen entourage made their way to the Continental Hyatt House (lovingly referred to as the “Riot House” by the rock stars you ran with) for the after party. The place was practically swarming with people of all walks of life. Hippies, rockers, groupies, roadies, rock writers, tour promoters- anyone who was anyone was there. It was an overpowering kaleidoscope of long hair and glitter eyeshadow and alcohol. LOTS of alcohol. You’d had the perfect amount- just enough to get you buzzing, not so much that you were going to regret it later. Brian had been by your side for pretty much the whole night, but he also knew that this night was just as much for you as it was for him. This was your chance to reconnect with the scene that you’d left to follow him around the country, and he wanted you to grab it.

You’d seen so many friends already- old friends, the kind you never think about in the day-to-day, and then the minute you see them, it’s as if no time had passed at all. But you were also seeing a lot of familiar faces. Here was the promoter you’d blown for Led Zeppelin tickets, there was the roadie you’d flashed so you could get backstage and catch Roger Daltrey’s eye. They were everywhere, and for the first time in a long time, you felt wholly yourself.

The sunshine glow from your fourth drink was warming you all over, and you felt like you were on top of the world. Then you heard him. “Lily, Lily, Lily. The only woman who was my kind.”

You whirled around and felt your heart soar.

“Joe Walsh, as I live and breathe!!” you laughed and let out a squeal as Joe wrapped his arms around you and spun you in a circle. Out of all the rock stars that you’d been with (before Brian, of course), Joe had been your favorite. He was talented, sweet, and never ever failed to make you laugh. Maybe in another life, something more serious could have happened between the two of you- but now wasn’t the time for that. For now, you were just grinning like a fool, and you felt so happy to see him. “I’ve missed you,” you exhaled.

“I’ve missed you too, sweetheart,” Joe chuckled and set you down. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

“I could ask you the same question! I thought you were in Ohio.”

Joe shrugged and laughed softly. “C’mon, Lily, you know there’s not a whole lot out in Ohio for us. We had to come out here to make it big.” You felt his hands rest softly on your hips, but you didn’t push him away. It felt natural, having him here with you. “What about you?? You finally made it out to LA, like you always wanted.”

“I did,” you grinned. “I’m here with Queen.”

“Aw, shoot, we wanted to see them but we had things to do.”

“Well, you should see them if you can. They’re going to be legends.”

Joe raised his eyebrows. “Legends, huh? Well, Lil, if YOU say it, then it must be so.”

You chuckled softly, finding yourself falling more and more into Joe’s eyes. God, you’d forgotten how captivating he could be. But you didn’t want to take it any further, obviously: you were here with Brian. Where WAS Brian anyway?

“You know,” Joe smirked, “I thought I saw Delphi from Sacramento somewhere here. You maybe wanna grab her and a bottle of José Cuervo and see where the night takes us?”

“Easy there, cowboy,” you laughed, nodding over to the other side of the room, which was the last place you saw Brian, “I’m here with someone else.”

“So he doesn’t let you have fun?” Joe grinned that jackal grin that had always made your heart skip a beat. “I really have missed you,” he added, his voice becoming a little softer.

You tucked Joe’s hair behind his ear and smiled. “Maybe another time, Joe, okay?”

Joe nodded slowly, pressing his lips to the place where your thumb met the rest of your hand. “You must really like this guy, huh?”

A sunny feeling spread across your heart and you nodded. “I do,” you confessed. “He’s different, Joe, he really is.”

Joe was about to say something, but a sing-song voice called, “Jooooooooe” from across the room. The jackal smirk returned to his face again and he sheepishly said, “Guess I’ve gotta go.”

You nodded, understanding. “I’ll see you around, Joe,” you gave him one last smile.

Joe bent down and pressed his lips to your knuckles, a gentlemanly gesture completely at odds with his personality. “Take care of yourself, flower,” he murmured, already halfway to the other voice that demanded his attention.

It was odd- watching Joe leave normally made your heart drop slightly, the feeling of not knowing when you’d see each other again difficult to bear. But it wasn’t there this time. Maybe you were growing. Or maybe you just missed Brian. You decided to go with the latter and try to find him.

Making your way through the maze of glitter and flared jeans, you found yourself in the hallway. After you gave a quick hello to a couple more familiar faces, you saw Brian leaning against the wall, arms crossed. You didn’t pay it any mind- he was probably just tired or cold or something.

“Hey stranger,” you smiled at him.

Brian turned his head slightly and mumbled, “Hello.”

“Where have you been?”

“Around.”

You raised your eyebrows. “You sound like you just walked through the catacombs and the skulls started talking to you.”

Brian smiled unwittingly, lulling you into security. “’M just tired, I guess.”

“Why don’t you go to bed then, granddad?” you teased him slightly. “I’ll come up with you.”

“No.” The harshness of his tone surprised the both of you, and Brian cleared his throat. “I’ll be fine,” he clarified, his voice a bit softer.

His words were falling on deaf ears-  you were already turning around, the pull of an LA party too strong to make you want to leave. “You sure?” you called over your shoulder.

Brian didn’t respond, so you filled in the silence for him. “Okay, then I’ll just-”

“Exactly how much of a slut are you??”

You froze in your tracks. He didn’t… he did not… You turned on your feet slowly. “What did you just say to me?”

“You heard me.” Brian’s eyes were ablaze. “How many people have you fucked before that I’ve met tonight? Hm?”

“Brian, that is… there’s no stretch of the imagination where that could matter in the slightest!”

“How many?” he repeated.

“I-I don’t know, I…” you were sincerely racking your brain, trying to think of who was at this party. “Who’s here?”

Brian scoffed and shook his head, running a hand over his face. “Unbelievable,” he murmured.

“What?” you could feel your mood beginning to sour. “What’s going on with you?”

“‘What’s going on with me??’” Brian laughed humorlessly. “I didn’t realize taking you to L.A. meant I’d be confronted with every guy you’ve ever given the time of day to.”

“I… honey, I didn’t know that there would be so many of them here, okay? I didn’t think it would be a problem.”

“Yeah. Well. It is.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Look, Brian, I get that you’re jealous, but that’s no reason t-”

“Jealous?” Brian said mockingly. “What do I have to be jealous about? I’m not some groupie who just goes around letting complete strangers into her bed night after night.”

The confusion in your heart was slowly starting to transform into anger. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Pretty obvious what it’s supposed to mean, isn’t it?” Brian scoffed. “I’ve got no reason to be jealous of someone like you, hopping from one sucker to another, lying about who they are and thinking that everything’s just going to be hunky dory.”

“Brian,” you said in a tone that you hoped conveyed just how pissed off you were becoming, “I don’t know where this is coming from, but it needs to stop. Now can we please just go back to the party?”

Brian’s eyes narrowed. “So you can find my replacement, right?”

You could feel your hands ball into fists. “You knew what you were getting into with me,” you growled. “The first night we met, I asked you if it bothered you that I was a groupie, and you said ‘no’. You haven’t had any complaints at all before tonight, and now all of a sudden, I’m just trash, is that it?”

Brian shook his head. “You don’t get it, Y/N. Or Lily, or whoever the fuck you are.”

“Brian, if you have something to tell me-”

“I LOVE YOU!”

Oh God.

The silence between the two of you was suffocating. It was a horrible, choking silence that completely knocked the wind out of you. “What?” you gasped, terrified to speak in anything above a whisper.

“I… I love you,” Brian repeated, softer but with the same intensity as before.

Words escaped you. It was like a nuclear bomb had gone off, but you and Brian were the only ones at the detonation site. “Brian,” was all you could say. Not even say, whisper. Hell, not even whisper- it came out like a breath.

“Is that all you’ve got to say?” Brian’s voice cracked slightly despite his best efforts to seem strong.

You took a shaky breath. “I don’t know what else to say,” you admitted, lamely.

“How about, ‘I love you too?’”

You let the sentence form on your tongue. It rolled around in the back of your throat like a marble. But you couldn’t speak it. It couldn’t fall from your lips.

Brian ran a hand down his face. “I knew it. I fucking knew it,” he grumbled. “What were you playing at?” he spoke clearly again, making sure you felt every jab of his words. “Why did you pick me out of everyone in the band? What, was Roger too easy? Was Freddie too smart?”

“Brian, stop it!” you begged. “How could you even think something like that?”

“What else can I think? You have every fucking part of me, and you’ve given me nothing in return!” The hurt in Brian’s eyes was palpable and shot like a rocket, straight to your heart. “All I want is for you to be mine. To go back home after a long tour and have you by my side. To wake up next to you and go to sleep next to you. Take you out on proper dates. Fight over whose turn it is to cook dinner or do laundry. Have you meet my parents. Show you where I grew up. It’s all I can think about, being with you for real.”  

You could feel blood rushing to your head. Where was all of this coming from? “Then what?” you asked harshly. “Marriage? Babies? Eventually leaving me behind while you go on tour and find another girl in every city, just like you found me? Is that really what you want for us??”

Now it was Brian’s turn to be gob smacked. “Y/N… I wouldn’t. I would never,” he said softly.

“And it’s not even that,” you shook your head. “I don’t know if I even want to get married or have kids. I don’t want to be locked down before I even figure out what I want!”

“You think I’m going to lock you down?” Brian said incredulously. “Would being with me really be so bad?”

“No, Brian, I-”

“So then what’s the problem??”

“Because I don’t know if I want to be with you! I don’t know if I want to be with ANYBODY!” you ran a hand through your hair. “I happen to love my life just as it is, and I don’t see any reason to change it or apologize for my choices. Least of all to you.”

You watched Brian’s expression morph from pain back to anger. “What are you going to do if I leave right now?” he snarled. “What if I walk away and just leave you here?”

“I don’t care what you do, because I’M NOT YOURS, BRIAN!”

That was it. Brian spun on his heels and stalked away from you, seemingly ignoring the, “Fine, walk away, real fucking mature!” that you threw at him.

Red clouded your vision, and the noise from the party shifted into a dull drone. You felt like you couldn’t even stand anymore, and you stumbled over to the wall, leaning against it and letting your head fall into your hands. What the actual fuck just happened?

“Oi oi!” You pushed a hand through your hair and slowly turned to see Roger coming down the hall from the same door that Brian had walked out of. He was certainly enjoying himself. “There she is, our sweet Peaches.”

Goddamn it. It was like the mere sound of the nickname popped the balloon that your anger had become, and the tears started to spill out of your eyes. “Fight with Loverboy?” Roger asked, clearly trying to do the “cheer the sad girl up” thing and failing.

“Don’t,” you spat out. “Please, Rog, just…”

“Okay, hey, hey,” Roger said softly, bringing you into his chest and rubbing your back. “Easy there, lovey.”

You knew he was just trying to help, but you also knew you couldn’t bear to be around anyone right now. Least of all, one of Brian’s best friends. You let out a huff and balled your hands into Roger’s shirt. “Can you walk me to the elevator?” you muttered into his chest.

“Course,” Roger replied, not letting you go for a second. The feeling of his arm around your shoulders was the only thing that was keeping you grounded as you made your way to the elevator. Roger pushed the “down” button and looked at you, eyes filled with concern. “Do you need me to stay with you?”

You shook your head. “No. I can’t… I can’t be around people right now.”

“Lily, if there’s something Brian did-”

“Don’t be mad at him,” you found yourself saying. “It’s something between the two of us. We’ll handle it.” Your voice actually felt like it was disconnected from your body.

With that, the elevator doors opened and you broke free of Roger’s embrace. You entered the elevator and pressed the button that led to your floor and watched as the elevator doors closed on Roger and the party you thought would be the best night of your life.

Welcome to L fucking A.

[karasuno-writings]

Hiiii~ So you know the thing in Fukurodani where they tell Bokuto that a girl in some row say's he's super cool? Now, may I please request a scenario / headcanons where after a match, the girl (reader-chan) they told him about ran into them outside and she and Bokuto met and they actually hit it off quite well? I'm sorry if this is too much 🙏💓

This is such a good idea honestly!! I liked it a lot, and I do love Bokuto so I HAD to write this :3 Sorry if I took long! I hope this is fine!!! 

Fem!! Pronouns ahead!

______________________

“Akaashi” Konoha grabbed the setter’s arm, setting him aside just enough as to not raise suspicions. Both of them stopped stretching for a few seconds, Akaashi looking at him with expecting eyes. 

“Should we do something about Bokuto?” He asked the setter, who looked over at Koutarou, his eyes staring at the horizon fixated at nothing in particular, but not quite right nevertheless. Akaashi had noted this ever since they put foot on the gym, but now he was sure they had to get him motivated if they wanted to have any chance of a good start-off. 

“We should” Akaashi nodded, looking once more at Konoha.

“Same old?” he questions, knowing fully well that Akaashi would know what he meant, and as soon as the setter nodded with a shrug Konoha walked over to where Bokuto currently sat, stretching his hands out. 

“So…” He started, not waiting for the ace to even stand up as he began “There is this girl in the front row ya know? And she is really pretty too” Bokuto stood up and scanned the crowd with big eyes, until he saw what was indeed a very pretty girl, looking down to where the boys practiced before the match.

“Is that her?! I can see what you mean” Bokuto nodded, she had something about her that made her stand out. Konoha had not noticed her before but took it as the perfect chance. 

“Yes...Well, Yukie did tell me that she told her, that you were super cool” He said, most naturally as Bokuto turned to him, beaming. 

“She did?! Akaashi! Team! ” Bokuto shouted over to his friend, who instantly knew the plan had worked as soon as he saw the ace’s face filled with excitement. Akaashi knew he didn’t have to answer to get the boy to carry on so he waited for whatever Bokuto had to say, the whole team had turned to look at their captain too.

“Let’s show them what we are made of!” He exclaimed, smiling. Bokuto was set on showing her what he was capable of. The team smiled triumphantly as Konoha flashed Akaashi a knowing smirk.

Bokuto looked over at her once more before the match began, she was talking with some friends, but there was something so surreal about her, she seemed nice, and fun, hoping that he would catch her attention, and maybe then she would approach him after the match. 

The whistle sounded and both teams prepared to start, they shook hands once before getting on their respective positions. It was their turn to serve as Koutaro’s mind was now ready and going at top speed, nothing could stop him now.

The first set ran smoothly, the team pouring their all into each play, working as perfectly as a well oiled intricate clockwork, each gear turning perfectly; and Bokuto was no exception, it is undeniable that on the first set he was in his prime.

The second set however, had a bumpy start, as Bokuto began losing track as the middleblockers of the opposing team seemed to have figured out his patterns, and while his strength was basically unstoppable those one touch had proven to be lethal as they gave the rival team a chance at scoring. 

His frustration had began growing, clearly annoyed by the precision of the blocks and the intricate thought process that led to and impeccable guessing of the direction of his spikes by the pesky blockers. With each one touch his spikes became increasingly stronger, which would not be a problem if that didn’t meant that his directioning decreased with each blast.

Akaashi noticed that Koutarou was losing focus as soon as one of his spikes slammed barely inside the court, dangerously close to the edges, and knew that if he carried on like this it would ultimately end for the worse. Bokuto’s weakness 23, he though, looking over just before the next play could start and immediately knew what to do, he quickly motioned for a timeout.

Bokuto was fuming as he walked over, stomping as he approached his team, he was not one to direct his anger and while he liked showing excitement, he’d rather stay quiet. 

Akaashi thanked that Konoha had left a foothold for him to solve the problem, making it way less of a hassle to deal with than it usually would. The setter looked over to you, you were now looking at Fukurodani’s team, curious as to what the timeout was for. Akaashi noticed you and with a smile he turned back once more, knowing that it was the perfect moment to get his friend out of his low. 

“Bokuto, she is looking over at you, maybe she is curious as to why your spikes are so aggressive now” He said, looking at his friend who immediately whipped his head over to you. 

You frowned slightly and blushed, it had not escaped your notice that the teams setter had been looking at you a few seconds ago, and now you were being watched by the ace, such attention seemed unusual. You saw him wave at you and blinking in confusion you slightly waved back, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks.

Bokuto saw you blush and his smile returned, a new drive rising on his chest. Of course he was not going to look like a fool on the eyes of someone whose attention he has got, specially after they had just waved back at him. He cleared his head up, and smiled at Akaashi, who knew that this was truly a crisis averted.

Bokuto’s plays became way more tactical than in the first half, and while unbelievably strong, he stopped compromising the other aspects of his spikes, trading his strength and channeling it into a deadly precision. Every time he scored he looked over to see if you had seen him, and every time your eyes met you felt like something was going on in that head of his.

The match was over, Fukurodani held the victory and Bokuto was ecstatic, congratulation all the players in the team, and thanking them for their incredible performance. He shook hands with their opponents and soon left the court, hoping to catch you on your way out.  

You were outside the gym, waiting for your friends to catch up, but your thought were elsewhere.You could not take the fairly handsome boy of your mind, and you couldn’t help but wonder what exactly had you done to catch his attention in such a way, specially in the middle of a match. 

“Hey hey!” Bokuto skipped down the stairs, jumping over to where you stood. You turned to look at him, noticing how much handsome he looked up front, biting your lips as you hoped nothing would give your sudden liking of him off. Your head swayed left and right, expecting him to be talking to someone else, but you noticed he was talking to you when he stopped right where you stood. 

“You really think I’m super cool?!” He smiled, eyes wide as he waited for an answer. You blinked in confusion, while he was not wrong you wondered what exactly had sparked such a thought on his mind.

“Well, I definitely do” You sheepishly answered, a hand covering your neck as you averted his eyes.

Akaashi stopped dead on his tracks as he saw Koutarou talking to you, he really did not thing that would happen, but knowing his friend he now noticed it was a foolish thing to overlook. He just hoped that Bokuto would not make a fool of himself. 

“I’m Bokuto Koutaro, nice to meet you! ” He smiled, pink tinging his cheeks as he took in your features properly for the first time. He now got why he was so absolutely mesmerized by you; up close your eyes sparkled, and the way your smile curled your lips up in such a sincere way made him stare maybe a bit too much. There was an air about you that just managed to peak his curiosity, and being so nice, he wanted to know you better.

“Y/N, a pleasure” You were still not sure how you had caught the attention of the captain, but the way his eyes landed on yours and the excitement with which he talked made you feel comfortable around him. 

“Hey! If you are not busy you can come with my friends to celebrate our victory!” He asked, formalities had never been his strongest suit, but the sincerity in his request really did say that he wanted to get to know you, it was not everyday that he hit it off so easy with someone like you. 

“Sounds wonderful”

[nightwingshero]

Family: The Best Day

https://open.spotify.com/track/3esA216TyLHEkNiBCeCmcg?si=ZOBuRPDHRMaM8Lys9KK9iA

So, I’ve kinda taken a bit of a break from writing, making sure I’m only doing it when I feel creative enough, and well enough, to do so. Because I’ve been kinda going through it lately. A quick thank you to my friends who have been patient and supportive during this, I appreciate you.

Anyway, I did get inspired to write a little something while listening to this song, and I think writing fluff (despite my angsty ass being pouty about it) kinda helped me feel a bit better. Whether this is cult or non-cult, I’m not sure. I didn’t think, just wrote. And I thought it was about time you lovelies met Harper and Braxton. This isn’t edited because I just finished it, and if I don’t post it now, I honestly never will (probably).

“Are you able to zip it? Or do you need help?”

“It’s stuck, Mommy.”

I turned, almost chuckling at the cutest sight. The coat was a size too big, enough room for her to grow into, so her hands are barely poking out of her sleeves. It’s puffy, which doesn’t exactly help when her gloved fingers try to grasp the zipper. Her black hair is tucked messily into the beanie that was almost covering her eyes, and she had decided to take one of my scarves to wrap around her neck. It was a wonder how she could even see.

“Come here, Harper.” I call gently, making my way to the couch. Her big blue eyes find mine, wide and innocent. It took me off guard sometimes, being the exact copy of her father’s. She skips forward, waving her arms excitedly at her sides. Her mix matched socks, one green and purple stripped and the other blue and pink polka dot, almost make her slip, but I catch her as she comes close.

Carefully, I remove her hat and turn her around as I smooth it down with my fingers running through her hair. “Your hair is a mess, sweetie.”

“I wanted to protect it from getting cold, too. Just like me.”

“That’s very kind of you, baby girl.” I smiled as I began to braid to braid it. Using a spare hair tie, I tie the end of the braid, and tuck it down under her coat. She turned back around, a smile on her face showing off those adorable dimples. “You ready for your hat?”

She gives an eager nod, and I carefully place her blue hat back on her head, covering her ears. I remove the scarf, folding it down and adjusting it around her before fixing her zipper. Harper runs to bring me her boots, her excitement burning bright as she was closer to being ready. “Daddy is going to done soon?”

“He’s coming soon, baby.” She squealed, kicking in excitement. I let go of her feet to avoid being hit and throw her a look. “Easy, Harper. Let me finish with the boots.”

“Sorry!”

The sound of the front door makes us both smile and glance at each other. She’s patient just enough to let me finish before she’s on her feet, running as John came in with a bright smile on his face, placing his briefcase down. Stray snowflakes are melting in his hair and beard, a small dusting on the shoulders of his peacoat. My heart does a somersault because he still managed to take my breath away.

“Daddy!!!!” Harper shrieked, launching herself into his arms. He lifted her quickly and pulled her close with a hug. “Mommy, he’s home!”

“He sure is.” I stood and crossed my arms as his eyes catch mine, his happiness hitting me in the chest. Luckily, he looked away as my eyes became misty.

“Daddy! We’re going to play, right? You promised!”

He clicked his tongue, looking thoughtful. “I do remember promising something…now what could that be? Playing…dress up?”

“No!” she replied with a giggle.

“Hmm…drawing?”

“Nope!”

He pressed his forehead against her, whispering as he narrowed his eyes playfully. “We wouldn’t happen to be…playing in the snow today, would we? That couldn’t be it, could it?”

“Yes!” Harped answered excitedly as she yanked on his lapels. “Let’s go!”

“Alright.” He set her down, throwing me a brief glance. “Why don’t you go check on your brother and see if his coat is on, and then we can go out?”

“Okay!”

And just like that, she was gone, screaming her brother’s name as she ran into the next room. John turned to me, a predatory glint behind those pretty blues that sends a spark of excitement through me, that only grows when he stalks towards me. With his finger hooked under my chin, he tilts my head up as he leans in closer. “Are you joining us?”

“Hmm…not sure.” I replied with a playful smirk that he returned before placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

“Tsk, not all birds migrate for the winter, darling.” He whispered as his gloved covered thumb stroked my jaw. “And I do believe winter looks lovely on you, my little bird.” Before I can answer, his lips are pressing gently against mine. He pulled away, the mischievous glint still very much there. “Just one little word, dear. Just say yes.”

“How could I ever say no to you?”

John laughed, pulling away. “Oh, I believe I remember a time.”

“Braxton is ready! Can we go now?” Harper cried, running back. John threw me a look and I shook my head.

“Go ahead. I’ll grab him and meet you out there.”

The smiles they threw me were bright and unbelievably identical. Harper darts to the door and John helps her out into the snow as I make my way into the next room, grabbing a smaller hat on the way. Stepping over the gated play area, I kneel next to the toddler. He giggles, playing with a toy airplane John had bought him for his birthday. He barely acknowledges when I place his hat on him, but his green eyes stare at me when I laugh. He breaks out in wide smile, finally waving at me. The two-year-old had a way of making my heart melt in the craziest ways, and I would never grow tired of it.

I lift him out of the pen, grabbing my coat and gloves, before taking his hand. Outside, the snow had died down a bit, falling lightly and peacefully. Harper is running, shrieking, as John chases her. He slips a few times, his hand hitting the ground to catch himself, but Harper is darting around flawlessly. She can’t stop giggling, her face red from the cold, running, and pure excitement. Harper turns, catching sight of her baby brother.

“Braxy! Come make snow angels with me!”

It’s almost certain that he doesn’t entirely understand what Harper said, but he knows his sister is calling for him and it has him moving as fast as he can to her. I watch, partly concerned he would fall, but mostly amused as Harper reaches her hands out to take his gently. My heart warms as she sits in the snow with him, showing and explaining exactly what he has to do to make the perfect Harper-approved snow angel.

It was moments like this that made everything feel so surreal, like a dream I would wake up to. I didn’t think I would’ve been able to have a family, with everything that had happened with the car accident and a fear that what happened with my mom would…well, happen to me. And it hurts too, thinking that my mother would have loved to see this, to be here with her grandchildren. A family I didn’t know I would ever have, and part of me wondered if she would have been proud to see it. If she would’ve been proud of me of what we’ve created.

John wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer as we watched, and I could hear his heavy breath as I felt his heart race. “You’re getting slower, darling. Finding it a little harder to catch our little girl?” I tease.

He scoffed. “Nonsense, I let her win. Besides,” he turned, placing a kiss on my head. “She gets it from her mother. If I remember correctly, she made me give her a good chase, too.”

“Hmm. Must have been quite the catch then.”

“The best.”

I laughed and he took my hand, pulling me as we make our way to the kids. Harper and Braxton giggling as we laid in the snow, making a family of snow angels. Once done, we stand back to look at our work. Harper clapped in excitement as I held Braxton in my arms. “They’re so pretty!”

“They are! You guys did such a good job!” I replied with a wide smile and Harper sighed.

“Yeah, but it’s not perfect, mommy.” She huffed giving me a puppy dog look. “We’re missing something.”

I frowned, confused. “What are we missing, Harper?”

“A new brother or sister.”

My eyes widen in shock, my mouth open but nothing coming out as I tried to desperately come up with a response. Of course, John didn’t have that problem.

“I think that’s a fantastic idea. What do you say, darling? Should we get started on that?”

“John!”

I huffed, stomping into the house with Aunt Rowan behind me, but I didn’t care. I was too angry to care. Carmina Rye was mean, and she wasn’t my friend anymore.

Tears streamed down my face, so I angrily wiped them away with the sleeve of my jacket. I wasn’t going to cry, I was a big girl, and we didn’t do that kind of stuff. I called for my mom, hoping to find her to tell her everything, to tell her that I was going to be taught at home now. I wasn’t going back. Ever.

I turned into the kitchen to find Dad standing by the sink, drinking from a coffee mug. He looked down with a smile, but it went away quickly. It only made me cry harder, seeing him sad. And his arms were around me, pulling me in for a big hug, so I bury my face into his sweater.

“What happened, my dear?” he asked gently as he rubbed my back.

“Carmina was being mean to me. She made fun of my shirt and said only babies like princesses!” I wailed. He hummed, pulling away and wiping my tears away with his thumbs.

“Your mom went to the store with your brother. How about you set the backpack on the kitchen table and we go for a drive?”

I sniffled and nodded, doing as I was told. Aunt Rowan came in and my daddy took her to the side. “I’m going with Harper somewhere. Would you mind staying here until I get back. Wren is going to want to start dinner here soon, and I would rather have a nice, fire damage free kitchen when we return.”

“I understand.” Ro laughed.

Dad turned to me, his hand out for me to grab. Making sure he had his keys; we make our way outside and to his big car. He helped me in, making sure I was buckled before gently shutting the door and getting in the driver’s seat.

“Where are we going, Daddy?”

His eyes find mine in the rearview mirror and he smiled. “You’ll see.”

I don’t know how long we drive for, but it’s fun to look out the window as we go, singing to whatever is on the radio. Finally, we slow, coming into a town further away from home, because I don’t recognize it. I unbuckle my seatbelt once Dad parks and shuts the car off. I pull the handle and shove the door open with all my strength and jump down just as he comes around the corner.

My small hand finds his as he shuts my door and locks the car. I’m too busy looking around, skipping about at the new surroundings. It’s pretty here, the colors and shops different than what I was used to. We begin walking around, going into different stores to look around. He buys things that I like, both of us laughing and smiling. I giggle because it’s funny to see Daddy buy rainbow hairclips, dolls, dress up clothes, and the matching crowns I insisted we wear around.

“Where next, Princess Daddy?”

“How about over there, Princess Harper?”

I think about it until something shiny in a window caught my eye. Running over quickly, I press my hands and face against the glass in awe. It’s pretty, super pretty, and I know deep in my heart that we have to buy it. I can’t stop staring even as Daddy comes to stand next to me.

“What are we looking at, Princess?”

I pointed, poking my finger against the barrier repeatedly. “That one! I wanna buy them for Mommy!”

“The earrings?” he asked, and I looked up, nodding excitedly. I could see it, Mommy wearing them with a pretty dress with her hair up in a ponytail like mine. “And not a crown like we have.”

“No.” I shake my head. “Mommy isn’t a princess, Daddy. Mommy is a pretty and nice queen. Not like the one from Cinderella. Mommy is a nice mommy. And they’re her favorite color!”

“Do you know what those stones are, my dear?” I shake my head, looking at the pretty blue gems on the flower earrings I was eyeing. “Well, they’re blue topaz.”

“Blue…toe…to-paz.”

“Mhmm. And I think you’re very right. Mommy would like them very much.”

We left the store with a pretty blue bag, on a mission to find something for Braxton, too. Blocks and more planes that he would love. It was more fun buying for other people, and I felt a little shy as I tugged on my daddy’s sleeve. “Hey Daddy?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Can…” I looked down at my shoes as I blushed, scared to be told no. “Can we buy something for Carmina?”

“I thought you weren’t friends with Carmina anymore?”

“Yeah…but I miss her, and I wasn’t very nice to her, too.”

I looked up to see a small smile on his face. “Let’s go find something, and then get some ice cream.”

“But Mommy says dinner before dessert.” I replied firmly and he winked.

“It’ll be our little secret.”

After finding the perfect pilot Barbie for Carmina, we were back in the car, driving for ice cream. He went through a drive through, and kept driving for a few more minutes, going up a steep hill that had more and more trees as we went. I looked around, a little confused and scared. The forest could be scary.

“Daddy, it’s scary out here.” I call in a small voice.

“There’s nothing to be scared of, pumpkin. I’m here.”

“Yeah, but you’re a daddy. Daddy’s are never scared.”

He chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m here to protect you. This is a special place.”

The car came to a stop and he got out. I licked my ice cream as he opened my door, and I gave a quick look around. There were some trees that looked dark as the sun began to go down, with a big area of grass. But that wasn’t what I liked. It was the big white sign that was like a giant. I stared as Daddy pulled a blanket from the back of the car.

I pointed to the big sign. “Y-E-S! Yes! Right, Daddy?” I asked, turning excitedly towards him. He smiled.

“That’s right.”

Helping him, we spread out the blanket and sat on it as we ate our ice cream. “Why is this place so special?”

“Because this is where Daddy asked Mommy to marry him.”

“Did you kiss her?”

He smiled. “I did.”

“Ew!” I laughed, scrunching my nose at the gross thought and he just laughed.

“So, you want to talk about what happened at school today?”

I felt sad at the mention of it, looking down as I frowned. “We got into a fight at recess.”

“What did you fight over?”

“Well…” I took a deep breath as I looked at him, the words rushing out quickly. “Carmina wouldn’t play with me! She said she wanted to play with a new friend she made, and I said her pigtails were stupid. Then she said that liking princesses was a baby thing!”

He nodded with a hum before looking back at her. “You don’t like the new friend? Have you met this friend?”

“No…Carmina met her on the playground. I didn’t want to play with her.”

“And why is that? If Carmina likes her, you might like her, too.”

“But Carmina is my friend!” I huffed impatiently, looking at him. Didn’t he understand? She was my best friend; she was supposed to play with me! “If she plays with the new girl, then she won’t want to play with me anymore, Daddy!”

“Hey, come here.” He wrapped his arm around me and pulled my close. I snuggled closer to him, feeling safer. “You know that’s not true. You and Carmina are friends, and just because there’s a new kid, doesn’t mean that’s going to change. Do you think that maybe she could become your friend too? Then you’ll have two best friends, instead of just one. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

I gave it a thought, imagining another friend for our camping trips in our yard and playing tag. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Now, don’t you think you might owe Carmina an apology? It’s not nice to say those things, Harper.”

“I know, Daddy.” I mumbled, sad and embarrassed for what I did. “What if Carmina doesn’t forgive me?”

“Well, I think you should let her know how you feel, and that you’re very sorry. Then you have to leave it up to her, darling. Good friends forgive us when we make mistakes.”

We finished our ice cream and the sun finally disappeared, so Daddy picked me up to put me in the car wrapped in the blanket. He called Mommy as we drove back down the hill, the radio quiet, and I closed my eyes with the sound of Daddy talking on the phone.

I’m laying out the newspapers as strategically as I can. I want this to be perfect. Glancing at Wren, I watched as she played each key on the piano with Braxton on her lap and following her movements. Her hair is in a side braid, and I can see the silver chain of the necklace I had gotten her. But I can imagine Harper’s joy at the sight of her mom wearing the earrings she picked out for her.

“You think she’ll like it?” I asked, slightly unsure.

Wren hummed. “I think she’s going to love it, hun. She’s been pretty obsessed with it since watching Whitney painting along with that Bob Ross stuff on Netflix.”

“Do you think I got the right stuff?”

“It’s what Whitney recommended. I’m sure she wouldn’t steer you wrong.” An off-key made me jump a bit. “Oops, this one Braxton. There we go. See?” She was answered with a giggle and I shook my head with a smirk.

“We’re going to regret this, aren’t we?”

“Oh, absolutely. The walls will never be the same.”

I laughed, but part of me was truly worried for our walls. There were obviously going to be some ground rules when it came to the paint set, but I was excited. She was excited and interested in art, something her and I could share together. Something to bond over.

It would be a lie if I said that becoming a father, or being one, wasn’t terrifying. Part of me always worried, still waking up from the nightmares of my own childhood, but I loved them, Braxton and Harper. My kids. Our kids. I still couldn’t get over the sound of it. The fact that I never dreamed of domestic bliss before, never believed it was possible for me. I wasn’t built or meant for it. But…Looking over at Wren, watching her let Braxton play on her piano with her, I couldn’t ever imagine my life without it. Without them.

“Daddy!” Harper called, throwing the front door open. “Mommy, I’m home!”

She came rushing in, her long hair trailing behind her as her sundress swayed. Harper’s smile was bright, lighting up the room with her energy and I couldn’t help but return it. She set her bag down, rushing to Wren, who leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek in greeting. Harper sitting up on the stool to say hi to her baby brother, before eyeing the table.

“Are you reading, Daddy?”

I laughed. “No, hun.”

“Is Aunt Whitney coming in?” Wren asked.

“Nope! She said she had to go home, but she said ‘hi!’.” She came up to me, her arms reaching as I scooped her up and gave her a tight hug. “What are you doing, Daddy?”

“I got you something.” I replied setting her down and pulling out a chair for her. She looked up at me, confused as she sat in the chair. I went to the other room, grabbing the box. My heart was pounding both from excitement and worry. What if she didn’t like it? What if I didn’t get the right thing after all? Would it make her cry? Oh god, what if I made her cry?

Coming to the table, I set the box on the table carefully, and she stands up in her chair to get a better look. Her curiosity always got the better of her, much to my amusement. Joseph swore that she was just like me when I was little, and I couldn’t help the warm feeling that came with that. Knowing that someone so good and sweet had a part of me.

I opened the box, watching as her eyes grew wide, her mouth forming an ‘O’ in absolute shock. It took only a few seconds for her to move past that straight to a ball of energy. She squealed, her feet stomping in the chair as she wiggled around in a weird excited dance. Wren laughed as Braxton clapped, both watching from the side as Harper opened the set.

She immediately reached her hand in, grabbing tubes of paint to look at them, only to reach in for another handful. I helped, setting out a paint tray and the brushes, trying to stay organized while my daughter had a different plan entirely. Tubes of paint were laid out carelessly on the table, some forgotten after their five seconds of fame.

Pulling out paper, cutting it into square pieces, trying to gauge just how much we would need. Finally getting a good amount, I brought the stack to the table. “This is what we’re painting on today, okay? Pick out some colors and I’ll put it out on the tray for us.”

“Okay!” Harper looked over the colors, before settling on a couple shades of blue with purple, green, yellow, brown, and red. Carefully, we squirted paint out and despite her excitement, Harper was careful. As Wren went back to the piano, Harper and I dipped our brushes into paint after grabbing a piece of paper for both of us. She ran her hand over it, giggling. “Daddy, this paper feels funny.”

“It’s canvas paper, baby. It’s the kind of stuff artists use.”

“Does Aunt Whitney use this stuff?”

“She does.”

“Oh. Well, I guess you’re right then.” Harper replied matter-of-factly before turning back to her painting. Wren snorted, faking a cough to hide the laugh and I threw her a look, but didn’t say a word. So, we just painted at the sound of Wren and Braxton’s music, Wren singing lightly here and there. Harper looked at my paper. “What are you painting, Daddy?”

I smiled at her. “The prettiest girl in the world.” Or the start of it. There was nothing I wanted than a portrait of this little angel in this moment. She beamed at me, pleased with my answer.

“I’m drawing trees in the Fall.” She explained, painting more red around the brown sticks she created. “Do you know why the leaves change color?”

“Because the trees go to sleep for the winter. Kinda like how the bears hibernate.”

“Oh.” She replied, a bit disappointed with a shrug. “Uncle Jacob said it was because they died. And we walk on dead leaves until the snow comes.”

I choked and out of the corner of my eye, I could see Wren hang her head as her shoulders shook from barely contained laughter. I rubbed my beard in thought, trying to figure out how to handle this one, but she didn’t even miss a beat. “When can I get paint on my skin like you and mommy?”

I looked at her with a brow raised, a bit taken back by the question. “What paint?” I asked, confused until she pointed at my hands. “Oh. This isn’t paint, sweetheart. This is more…permanent.”

Harper looked at my hands and forearms with scrutiny. “There’s no pretty colors, Daddy.”

“Well…no. Most of them don’t have colors.” She gives me another look, a mischievous glint in her eye before she gives me a sweet smile, and her puppy eyes are coming at full force.

“Can I paint them, Daddy? Pretty please?”

I clear my throat. “Harper, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Her eyes widen as her lower lip wobbles as she looks completely defeated. My heart twists, not wanting the little angel to cry. “Okay, baby. You can paint them.”

“Yay!!” she cried, the puppy dog eyes and tears gone as if they were never there to begin with. “I’m going to make you so pretty, Daddy!”

“Pushover.” Wren coughed out lightly to the side, throwing me a teasing smirk. “Better than the walls, darling.”

“Yeah, this is way better.”

Hours later, when I was scrubbing pink sparkly paint from my skin, I wasn’t as sure.

[winkingjisoo]

Say You Won’t Let Go

Hey, are you free tonight?

Am I? I was busy checking on my belongings when I received her text message. It was odd that am receiving this now. I only have several hours left before I leave and now this. Maybe it's now or never?

Jisoo was staring at her phone when another text popped up.

Babe, I am excited to see you. I miss you. Be safe, okay?

She smiled sadly and realized how life took her kindness for granted and she never wanted to hurt anyone else. She's almost done fixing her things when she saw an old photo kept in her small box, it was her and the girl she secretly admired for years. She's as beautiful as she is years ago. I am still lost on your eyes, but those eyes, they never lie. I know you never felt the same and I am finally letting go of my grip. She placed the frame on top of the side table and left it there.

*beep*

Seen. Why are you leaving me on seen? You can say no.

With a deep sigh, Jisoo replied to the message and without a doubt, she grabbed her shoulder bag and keys. I will see you again, and then.. maybe never. She went out of the apartment and made sure it's locked. Everything that's possible came inside her mind, but one impossible thing made her smile a bit. Maybe now she wants me too.

Jisoo took her phone our while she's on the bus and replied on the other text she received.

Hey, I am sorry. I'd be coming home...

I know I am being unfair. You have all the rights to hate me, but if this chance would mess me up, I will never regret anything.

Please still see me so we can talk. I will face you bravely, you know I never wanted to hurt you but I'd like to be selfish tonight. I am really sorry.

It took her minutes before finally deciding to send it. A tear left her eyes as if it's been there trying to escape several times but now it's being free.

I understand, I've always known. I still hoped you come to me instead of her. But I understand, I'll always will. Whatever happens, I will still see you.

Don't apologize, I have forgiven you beforehand. You deserve to be happy, and if it's not with me, I won't take that happiness away from you.

It's all I ever wanted to give you.

I love you, Jisoo. I wish you will be happier now. - Rose

Now I am scared. I am scared more than ever. This will be my last chance, my first chance as well, or maybe the only chance I have. If not for her, I will not be with anybody. Jisoo took her phone away after reading the message. She closed her eyes in some minutes to think and finally she made up her mind. She took her phone out and made a phone call.

*Calling Jennie*

Hello?

Hey, uhm.. I texted you back.

Oh, right. You're coming. I will just uhm, put her to sleep. Then, I'll see you. Will that be fine?

Sure. Of course.

The call ended and Jisoo is nervous as hell. This will be the first time after a long time that she will see Jennie again. Afraid and still confused, she put on her headphones and played some piano covers in her playlist. These are not just covers, Rose played those songs for her.

If only I can teach my heart to love. I will choose Rose. She did nothing else but love me, and now she's hurting.. yet she understood. I--I owe her my happiness if I will be.

The thoughts inside her mind stopped when she felt that the bus stopped as well. She stood up and released a deep sigh before getting off it. It took some minutes and she's just waiting at the bus stop where Jennie will see her. She lifted her hoodie and removed her eyeglasses for a bit. It's starting to get cold and her hands are slightly shaking. She decided to lean over the shed and closed her eyes for a bit. Minutes passed, still there's no sign of Jennie, not even a text.

Of course. I am being taken for granted again.

"Hey! I am sorry, did you wait too long?"

Since high school, yes.

"Jennie.. uhm no. I just got here. Hey, haha. How are you?" That's an awkward question for the situation but Jisoo is still composing herself.

"I'm glad to know. Rachelle took time to fall asleep, I can't just leave her, yeah?" Of course, she's your precious one. Jisoo thought. To her surprise, Jennie held her hand. She never imagined that she would feel those grip again. She badly wants to let go of it, she's having second thoughts on going back to where she initially wanted to be away from -- Jennie's comfort.

They started walking around the area until they reached the old coffee house where they used to write stories. Both of them published some books in their high school days, mostly are written by Jisoo with Jennie beside her, mainly cheering her up and giving some ideas which made Jisoo believe that she's writing a masterpiece. Jennie stopped in front of the coffee house. She stared at the sight of it while Jisoo found herself staring at the fullness of Jennie.

"Do you still write stories?" Jennie noticed Jisoo staring at her and chose to break the silence.

"No. I stopped. But I write songs, lyrics at least. I'm not good at music. She puts the melody and sings it." Although Jennie is understanding where that sentiment came from, she continued.

"You're a natural writer. May it be a song, a poem or a story. Totally something that someone can relate to. You know.."

Jisoo can't look at Jennie's eyes. She just realized what she just said and was taken aback right after. Jennie let go of Jisoo's hand. She can feel the awkwardness and tension in between but it seemed like she don't want to care or even think about it. Jisoo was about to head inside the coffee house when Jennie stopped her.

"Let's go to my place instead, I learned how to brew coffee and I want you to try it first. I hope it won't fail tho." Jisoo was confused and was not able to say a thing when Jennie dragged her and walked as fast as she can.

What is she thinking? If she just wanted to see me, she should've not left the house and just have me go in there. Jendeukie, stop being careless...

*beep*

You're probably away from home as you see this. Please take care. Meet me tomorrow. Namusairo Coffee Shop, 9 am.

Jisoo just replied a smiley to the text message she received as they entered Jennie's humble abode. Jennie excitedly opened the door and let Jisoo in first. She was like a kid being excited on a thing that she wanted a long time ago, like it's finally coming.

"We should've just stayed at the old coffee house you know. Or asked me to just go here, why do you need to pick me up from the bus station if you plan on drinking coffee in here. You're weird, Jennie."

"Jendeuk." Jennie smiled shyly and have gone straight to the fridge to get some beers.

"Wait, beer? I don't drink beer." Jennie creased her eyebrows and for Jisoo it felt like World War is coming. But Jennie was suddenly relaxed and just put the beers back in the fridge. She took the Soju instead.

They decided to drink at the terrace where they have a good sight of the moonlight above them. Them, under the moon, would always be a familiar sight for both of them. Jisoo, she didn't really know what she came for. She can't help but wonder why of all the days that Jennie would remember texting her after a long time, it would be tonight. She should be moving in with the girl who never left her side.

"What's this, Jennie? Why did you text me? Why do you want me to come over? Why now?" Jisoo

"Whoa whoa! That's a lot of questions, I can answer them but can we take it slow, we haven't even started yet." Jennie started drinking her shot. "I missed you."

And just like that, Jisoo felt like her body froze. She can't find the right words to say so she took her shot as fast as she can.

"Are you happy now, Jisoo? I don't really want to get back to your life, I know you hated me. I know y--"

"I never hated you... I loved you."

Jennie was just staring at Jisoo who's staring at the moon at the moment. She can't believe she's about to hear it again tonight. It's been years since the last time she heard of it.

"I did, too." Now it's Jisoo'd turn to look blankly at Jennie's eyes. She thought she'd be lying about it so she looked straight at her eyes. But she saw the unexpected, she saw the truth.

"You've got to be kidding me, Jennie Kim. You're unbelievable." She tried to shake it off, with all the fear that she had, Jennie was telling her that she loved her, too. It sounded surreal but she just can't believe it. Why suffer all those years, why let go of everything they could have had?

"I needed to say it. Not long before everything could go south for us. I just though maybe, I can still make it up to you."

"You knew, right? That I'll be leaving tonight? Who told you?"

"If not now, Jisoo. When? When do you want me to tell you? When I would regret it for the rest of my life? I need you, I need to be with you. I still.. I still feel the same.

"You're asking me when, Jen? Two fucking years ago! I suffered, I thought I would never be enough, I did everything to get rid of myself who's God knows someone who just wants to love you and be with you but I can't."

"Jisoo, stop talking as if it's just you who suffered. I suffered, too. And it still hurts. If I had a choice, I will stay."

Jisoo can't believe everything she's hearing right now. She felt like a fool when she hurriedly came to Jennie to take a chance but it seemed like she don't want it anymore.

"You don't understand, Jen. If I knew you felt the same, I should've waited. I can wait. I waited since long ago."

Jennie let the ambiance calm down before she responded. She took her next shot as she speak.

"I honestly thought you will. You believed that love is patient. Maybe I got that wrong? You wrote it in your book, the one that I read a lot. I love that book, it's like you're talking to me, at least I think that's me."

"Of course, it's you. Who would it be?"

"I don't know. By that time I didn't know Jisoo. I got scared."

I can't believe you felt that way, Jen. I thought you felt safe with me.

Jisoo was just our of words, she can't contain the emotion she's having right now. She felt dizziness when she realized she's been drinking for every waking silence Jennie and her is having right now.

"Jisoo, listen." Jennie held Jisoo's face and felt tears on the woman's cheeks.

"I... I love you. Don't.. don't leave me now. I am more than ready for us."

"What if.. what if I'm not ready, Jen? What will you do?"

The moment Jennie heard that, tears escaped her eyes.

"Then maybe, jegwi should not stick to shumon anymore. Maybe it's time to finally let go. I'm sorry if I had my hopes up.."

Jennie did not let go of Jisoo's face, she leaned closer to her instead.

"So tell me, are you not ready for me?"

Jisoo was still reading Jennie's eyes. She could tell Jennie's telling the truth and her heart can't help it. She badly want to kiss the girl in front of her. She wanted to let go of all the things that holds her back from doing so.

As she was trying to get a grip of the reality, Jennie closed the gap between them. She couldn't believe Jennie is kissing her right now. Jisoo can still taste the alcohol on Jennie's mouth but she willingly kissed her back. Her worries, it's been taken away and she just thought maybe, maybe it's worth a shot.

It was a long night for the both of them. After that, no words was said. They decided to rest as they felt like they had a long night.

Namusairo Coffee Shop, 9 am.

Rosé was waiting at the coffee shop already. She ordered Jisoo's usual and hers. She was also busy listening to music when Jisoo came.

"Hey, you're here early." Jisoo said and hugged the girl from behind.

"No! Hahaha. You're late. I said 9, not 9:15." Rosé's playful tone made it easier for Jisoo to turn her frown into a smile. Probably because she's nervous about this conversation, but she promised to face this girl bravely.

"You ordered my coffee! Yes! Also, I'm sorry for being late in your watch! Huh, still 15 minutes advance!" Jisoo have it light with Rosé, not awkwardness anymore.

"You want to eat something? You look pale."

"Oh no, I'm okay with coffee. I just woke up, that's why."

"Hmm. I see. How's your back?" Rosé sounded sincerely concered about Jisoo. She knows that Jisoo not sleeping in her bed would give a different kind of discomfort. She can't believe she convinced Jisoo to move in with her. At least she did before it never happened.

"It's not hurting lately. I think the medications worked. Thanks, Doctor Park."

"I hate youuuu! You don't have to do me dirty!" Rosé pouted as if she's really offended.

"YAH! It's not my intention to let you feel that way. I was just saying that.. you'll make a great doctor, babe." Jisoo was shocked by the way 'babe' was blurted out automatically when she wanted to address Rosé, she felt like she can't do it. She can't break Rosé's heart.

Rosé just smiled. She would stop in there, she thought.

"How is she?" Rosé have known for years how long Jisoo was head over heels for Jennie. She wonder how she's going and how did last night's incident went.

"She's good. I guess. She needed to be with Rachelle and I think they're adapting to changes already." Jisoo was hesitant to go with the conversation but Rosé is making everything easier for her.

"It went well, right? As it should? I'll kill you if it didn't after you ditched me." Rosé jokingly said.

"It did. She... she wanted me too." Jisoo thought that she was being selfish but that's the lightest way to say it to Rosé.

"Good then. I guess, I can get over it.. although.. I still think letting you be selfish is a bad idea. I could've had you, Jisoo. We were so good together."

"I can say that, too. You took care of me. You love me. And I love you too. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, just not as much as you love her." Rosé was just looking at Jisoo's eyes. She knows she needed to say that or she'll regret saying everything to Jisoo. "Jisoo, this is another bold and foolish move.. but.. if in case Jennie, you know, leave again.. I am here. I'll always be."

"Rosé."

"I know. You won't like the idea. I'm just saying. Just let me.."

Jisoo held Rosé's hand. It's warm. It was the warmth that comforted her.

"It's okay, Jis. I'm okay."

Rosé left on a good note. She even gave Jisoo one last gift. It was a demo CD of Rosé. Face down when Rosé left it on the table, Jisoo was left dumbfounded.

Jisoo checked the CD and saw it's title.

"Just when you felt like giving up on her again, say you won't let go."

[kpopfanticscenarios]

Infinite

Pairing: The8/Xu Minghao x Reader

Word Count: 2.07K

、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ、｀ヽ、

As soon as he woke up, Minghao couldn’t stop his heart from beating rapidly. Today was the day; he’d waited months for this day. The days leading up to today were nerve-wracking for him. His friends were constantly teasing him about how worked up he was being, and he gets it. It was ridiculous being this nervous, but how could he not be? This was you. He was finally seeing you after so many months. To say he was excited was an understatement. You were important to him. Your voice would always soothe him during bad days and make his joyous days even more.

“How long have you been awake for, man?”

Minghao glanced up from his mirror to glare at Jun. His friend was staring at him with a brow quirked up. He didn’t want to answer, knowing full well that he was going to get teased again.

“Six am. Yah! Don’t judge me!” He scowled as soon as Jun started laughing. A light blush crawled its way towards his cheeks as he averted his gaze back to the mirror. He had to make sure he looked nice; it was in important day. He hardly slept at all the night before, his mind wandering to his upcoming interaction with you. It had to be perfect.

“Are all the guys up yet? I don’t want to be late for this, you know that.” He glanced back up at his friend. Jun nodded lightly, checking his phone as it buzzed to life with messages.

“Yeah,” he sighed, “Vernon’s the last one to get ready, then we’ll be set to go.”

Okay, at least everyone else was ready. The beating of his heart calmed down slightly. But what if there was traffic? What if his friends weren’t ready and he’d have to wait longer? What if-

“Hey, stop that.” Jun placed a hand on his shoulder, effectively stopping Minghao’s mind from wandering. “Everything will be okay, Hao. You’ll get to see her and everyone’s going to enjoy today.”

Jun’s words were supposed to be reassuring, and it helped a bit, but Minghao still couldn’t stop his heart from soaring. He kept on glancing at the mirror a handful of times. Was his shirt okay? Should he change it? He changed his shirt ten times already, maybe he should’ve picked the first piece.

All too soon Jun was hauling Minghao out of his spot and ushering him out the door. Some of the other guys were already in the car, waiting on them. Minghao could almost cry, everything was going as planned. He tried not letting his excitement show, but his friends could all see how much brighter he was. It wasn’t too long before they picked up the last member and hauled their way towards the venue. It was barely midday by the time they got to there. There were so many people in line already, it was making Minghao nervous. You should’ve been there already, you two were so close. There were fans all around, some listening to music, others talking to fellow fans. There was even a random play dance that he so greatly wanted to join. Shivers went down his body looking at everything happening.

He just had to survive a couple more hours before he got to see you. His heart couldn’t stop beating erratically even as his friends were talking. Sure, they were a good distraction with all their jokes. Even Woozi stepped in for the random play dance at some point. It was fun with his group and they were able to keep his thoughts from going haywire.

“So,” Seungcheol started, “you excited for this show, Hao?” A smirk appeared on his face and everything turned their heads to look at the mentioned boy. Minghao scowled at his friends while everyone snickered; they knew that he was especially nervous for today’s show.

“You know what you’re going to say?” Dino chimed in.

“If you don’t, we’ll tell her all about-“

“Please don’t embarrass me in front of her,” Minghao groaned. It was enough that they were all going to be there when he finally sees her, he didn’t really need them to embarrass him further. Luckily, their conversation diverged from teasing him and they were on to another topic.

It wasn’t too long before everything took place. It was almost too much for Minghao’s heart to bear. Thirty minutes until the show started. His friends were all in position and everyone else were all starting to come into the venue. Looking from where he was, there was so many people coming in. It made his heart swell with pride that these many people were here for the concert; it was unbelievable. Thirty minutes slowly turned into twenty, which turned into ten, and then everything went dark.

His heart was thumping that he was sure everyone could hear it. He looked around at all his friends; they were all smiling brightly, their energies all coming together. The fans all started screaming, waving their lightsticks around like there was no tomorrow. At some point Minghao thought he was screaming along with the fans; he couldn’t tell and honestly, he didn’t care at this point. He was just as excited as they were, maybe even more.

Then it happened all too quickly. Music started blasting from the speakers and one of the stage panels started rising. Minghao was looking around, searching for wherever you would be. You were here, he knew it, everyone knew. He just needed to see you.

“Is everybody ready?!” Bright lights came on, hitting each member one by one. It was a surreal moment, everything seemed ethereal. He saw you; he really saw you. He swore that your eyes swept by him as the introduction song came on, and all too soon, your eyes were settling forward, you and your members dancing and singing to the beat of the song. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you; you danced so perfectly and in sync with the music, he can only imagine to dance with you someday.

The song ended quickly and the fans continued to scream. You grabbed a water bottle at the end of the stage as you and the other members walked towards the middle of the stage. You waved towards the crowd, your smile beaming and eyes crinkling with joy.

“Hello everyone! Thank you for coming to our show, we hope you enjoy this moment with us!” The leader of your group stated. The fans once again screamed which made you laugh lightly. You were the last one to be introduced and Minghao’s attention was all on you.

“Hello, it’s (Y/n)! I’m so excited to be here and have such a good time with you all! My heart is beating so fast, thank you all for your support!” You once again swept your eyes across the crowd and Minghao could feel his heart stop as you paused upon looking at him and his group. Minghao would like to think that you stopped because you saw him, but maybe it was being of the onslaught of males that were all near the stage. You smiled once more before you went back to your group to perform the next set of songs.

Song after song you would perform your heart out and it filled Minghao with a sense of tranquility. Your voice was soothing no matter what song was being played. He would shyly wave his own lightstick with the other fans. His smile seemed to be forever etched on his face just seeing you perform. The room illuminated with joy and exuberance; you had the whole crowd in a trance. Each song was played beautifully, the dancing was always in sync. To think that you had only debuted for a little over a year was phenomenal. This moment was so perfect, he wished it could last forever. Such grace and perfection shouldn’t end, he didn’t want it to end. But then, your farewells came on, and Minghao, along with every other fan let out a small groan of sadness.

“Ah, I really don’t want this concert to end,” you walked around the stage, gently waving to all the fans. “You all were so amazing, this has been so much fun. I hope you continue to support us in the future through all our endeavors. I promise to work hard for not just myself, but for all the fans that we have. You all make me the happiest when I feel down, I love your encouragement and hope that we can make many memories like this again. Thank you.”

Another song blasted through the speakers as soon as you finished your farewell speech. Everyone was screaming and waving as you and your members walked along the stage to greet the fans. Minghao was thankfully pushed to the front with his friends surrounding him. He pulled out his phone if only to get a chance to take a picture of you so close. You looked so pretty and happy, and his excitement rose as you bent down around his area to wave to fans. He snapped a couple photos of you even if you weren’t looking in his direction; he was just happy to be so close to your presence. As he was entranced by you, he didn’t notice the other guys looking at each other, each of them marking the same smirk on their phases.

In sync, they all cupped their hands around their mouths and bellowed out, “(Y/N)!” You swiftly turned your head towards them, it wasn’t hard hearing twelve loud men calling out to you. “XU MINGHAO LOVES YOU!”

If there was any moment where he wanted to die, Minghao would pick that. All the guys pointed towards him and your eyes roamed around until you caught sight of the blushing man surround by his friends. Oh, how he wanted to curl up and die right then and there, but not without dragging all his friends with him.

‘I’m seriously going to kill them after this concert is over.’

He expected you to wave them off, think of them as delusional fans and be on your way. He had never felt such embarrassment before in his life.

“I love you too!”

An airy laugh sounded out from your microphone and you gracefully stood from where you were and made your way over to him and his friends. His friends were all screaming, giving Minghao a small slap on the back as you waved at all of them. Minghao still had his phone in hand, outstretched towards the stage. His mind was completely blank as you crouched in front of him. He didn’t hear what you had said to the staff member next to you, but in an instant, the staff had taken his phone and given it to you. This was when Minghao.exe stopped working. You were really taking selfies on his phone?! Did he somehow die and go to heaven? He was completely dazed after that point. He didn’t notice when his phone returned to his hand and he didn’t notice his friends all teasing him yet congratulating him for this accomplishment. The concert ended soon after that, fans reluctant to leave-Minghao reluctant to leave. He followed his friends out of the venue, phone in one hand and lightstick in the other. There was a glow to his face after all the occurrences that had transpired. He was giddy, happy, sad, enamored…so many emotions wanted to poor out of him all at once.  

When he finally came to his senses, he was quick to unlock his phone and go to his photos. There on the top were two new photos: both of you. His heart continued to swell, and he couldn’t shake off the huge smile that spread across his face. He didn’t care if his group could see, these photos were for him, taken on his own phone.

While you may not know who he is, Minghao was glad that you cared for every one of your fans. You would probably never realize how much of an inspiration you were to him. Minghao slept that night without any worries and dreamt of an infinite amount of possibilities where maybe one day, roles were reversed, or you’d meet again on an off-chance. Maybe those days would come, but for now, he’d settle on being a fan and showering you with love and encouragement.

、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ、｀ヽ、

Scenario Masterlist

Hope you all liked this! It’s my first time writing on this account after ~2years. I had inspiration and motivation again after going to the Svt concert. Hopefully I’ll be able to make more of these in the future. Let me know if you liked this. I had this idea for quite some time, but never had the desire to write this until now and with The8! He’s such a precious boy, I love him so much! 

[dc41896]

Liquid Courage-Mini Imagine (2)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by LEWIS TAN (@lewistanofficial) on Dec 13, 2019 at 10:57pm PST

This is the second mini imagine idea (well from what all I added it’s probably not mini anymore lol) I had for this post and I hope you guys like it 😊!

“So guys as y’all probably know, we just wrapped and it’s definitely bitter sweet,” you spoke into the camera sitting on your vanity. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to get back home and rest for a while with Pluto, who I know is probably driving my mom crazy. But also I’m really gonna miss my time here with the cast and crew that have really made this experience even more surreal and amazing!”

“I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that we can’t wait for you to see what all we’ve done and hope you guys enjoy watching as much as we did making it!,” you finished with a smile. “Now before I erupt in tears and look like a hot mess, y’all know what time it is right? Alexa! Play my Celebrate Playlist!”

Hearing the familiar beat of Ain’t My Fault by Zara Lawson, you stand up performing your best dance moves in front of your phone and doing an occasional twerk. Laughing and flashing a peace sign, you cut the video and post it to your Instagram as well as your Twitter.

Still swaying to the music as you reply to comments, you hear a knock at your door and what sounded like a familiar voice. Opening the door of your trailer, you have little time to react as you’re greeted by champagne being sprayed all over you.

“HAPPY WRAP DAY!!!,” Lewis shouted laughing as he finished shaking the bottle. “I promise Tan if you got any of that in my hair, we’re gonna have problems,” you respond trying to take the bottle from his hands.

Your relationship with Lewis in the span of you guys filming, was reminiscent of that of siblings. Not that you fought at all, but you guys were always trying to mess with each other, which is how your prank war started.

You occasionally teamed up to prank your other co-stars, but most of the time it was you against him. Because of your antics and how close you guys were, this gave some, including the makeup artist and your other best friend on set, Liza, think that there was a bit more to your relationship.

Every time she brought it up, you always dismissed it saying that Lewis was just your friend and co-star, nothing more.

“No I didn’t get it in your hair princess and it’s funny how you think you’re gonna reach this bottle,” he teases holding it over his head as he tries to run away from you.

“Can you both please just date already? Better yet, get married so then I can be maid of honor!,” Liza interrupted.

“Liza, no,” both you and Lewis replied at the same time making her hold her hands up in surrender.

“Yea yea I know, you’re just friends,” she answers. “But don’t come telling me I was right if something happens!”

“Noted, thank you Liza,” Lewis sarcastically smiles as she walks away, making you laugh. “So you’re going to the party tonight right?”

“Yep! Why were you gonna spray me again?,” you smirk as he follows you to the door of your trailer.

“No I’m not gonna spray you again,” he laughs, hand on the back of his neck. “I was just wondering if you were going because maybe we could ride together, if that’s something you’d want to do?”

“Yea, that’s fine! Want to meet about 30 minutes before?,” you ask taking a drink from the half empty champagne bottle. “Yea sounds good, I’ll see you then. That is if it doesn’t take you forever to get ready,” he answers taking a drink himself.

“Whatever Lewis you know you take just as long as I do if not longer.”

“Mhmm yea keep telling yourself that,” he winks closing the door behind him before you could try to say or do anything further.

~~~~~~

Choosing a cropped black tank with a matching high waisted, bodycon skirt that stopped slightly above the knee, you slid into your stilettos finally ready. Applying your perfume and earrings as a last touch, you hear a knock on your door signaling that Lewis was ready to go as well.

“Quick whi- whoa,” he stops as soon as you open the door for him to come in. “What? Is there deodorant on my outfit?! Man I thought I was careful,” you ask searching your outfit for evidence of the residue.

“No no, you just look gorgeous! I mean not that you don’t always look good because you do and not like I’ve been watching you or something or-,”

“Lewis it’s ok I get what you were saying,” you laugh, interrupting his small ramble. “And thank you! Now I’m guessing you were gonna ask me about which shirt you should wear?”

“Yea I can’t decide which looks better,” he answers holding up both shirts. “I say the cream, I think it’ll match better plus it’ll bring out your eyes,” you answer with a soft smile.

Soon after he changed his shirt and you both took a few pictures, you were headed to meet the rest of the cast and crew to celebrate all that you guys had accomplished.

In the car, everything seemed normal between you guys as you talked and sang along to whatever was on the radio. However in the back of both of your minds, you couldn’t help but think of the compliments you had been given by the other.

You’d be lying if you said Lewis wasn’t attractive, but you didn’t think anything was there from how he acted around you. He was always so friendly and sweet, so you figured he was just like that with all his female friends.

Then again, these situations tended to be hard for you to read, so you honestly didn’t know what to think.

You pushed all that to the side though as you guys arrived to your destination.

~~~~~~

Making sure to say hello to everyone, you made your way around the room giving out hugs and having conversations. Of course Liza and a few of your other cast mates noticed how you and Lewis came together and gave you knowing smirks, to which you just shook your head.

As the night went on, there were shots, laughs, and dancing. Hearing one of your favorite songs, you began rapping the lyrics to MotorSport, which Sisi, one of your co-stars, caught on camera and cheered you on throughout your full performance.

Seeing a photo booth in the corner, you made sure to try to get pictures with everyone you wanted. You’d always remember your time filming and everyone involved, but it was nice to have mementos you could cherish as well.

You already had a group picture including Lewis, but he pulled you into the small enclosed machine once more saying how he wanted to get a picture with just the two of you. Looking at the screen, you notice how both of you had quite the looks compared to how you left earlier, making you burst out in laughter.

Somehow, you ended up wearing Lewis’ chain and some oversized shades, while he ended up shirtless with a blonde wig. Knowing Lewis though, and hearing various stories from his friends, you weren’t surprised that this happened given his extensive history of going home not dressed the same as he left.

“Are you laughing at how I look?,” he asks trying his best to do a hair flip but failing seeing that the wig was unbelievably stiff.

“No not at all honey,” you laugh positioning the wig to fit better on his head as you sat on his lap. “Alright first pose is a smile!”

Watching the countdown on the screen, you both smiled in time for the flash that illuminated the small area. “Ok next one, funny face!,” he suggests followed by both of you waiting again to do your poses.

“Um idk what to do next,” you giggle. Seeing the countdown begin again, you both quickly do the first pose that came to mind, which was definitely not on the same page as each other.

Lewis was trying to face you and make an angry expression as you leaned in to kiss his cheek, causing you to kiss the corner of his mouth. In the midst of the flash, you both slightly jump back from each other, hearts now slightly racing trying to figure out what to say next.

“Sorry I should’ve stayed looking forward,” Lewis nervously laughs. “No no! I should’ve been the one to keep looking forward or told you to stay still,” you reply nervously playing with his chain.

Neither of you know how, but you happened to look at each other at the same time, just gazing into each other’s brown eyes as if you knew what would happen next. Leaning in, you meet his lips as you wrap your arms around his neck and his wrap around your waist.

Coming to the party, your intent definitely wasn’t to kiss your best guy friend. You honestly didn’t know how it ended up happening, but figured the three shots of tequila paired with some suppressed feelings from earlier might have had something to do with it.

“HA I KNEW IT!!,” you hear Liza shout from outside before being shushed by whoever else was with her; interrupting your moment.

“Remind me to get Liza after this,” Lewis smiles before kissing you again.

Taglist: @fumbling-fanfics @crushed-pink-petals @honeychicana @themyscxiras @lady-olive-oil @melinda-january @felicity-x0 @lovelymari4 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @brwn-sgr @captainsamwlsn @nina-sj @itshinothey @wildfirecracker

If anybody wants to be tagged, has asked to be tagged and doesn’t see their name in the taglist, or only wants to be tagged for certain people I write for, just let me know😊!

[onewithnomightypowers]

Awkward (part 1)

pairing: tom holland x reader

summary: you and tom meet at a gym in new york and from there, things escalated

a/n: this series with a different name was posted before but now it’s more refined and with added content. part 2 will be coming out soon. if you like it pls reblog or like it cause its the only way for me to know that you liked it. remarks are always appreciated. if you want to tagged pls let me know also up for suggestions

masterlist  part 2  part 3

According to your planner, it was to be a quiet day at work and it was a calm day in New York so you decided to take your workout clothes to your workplace so that you could go to the gym after work. It was around 5 in the evening so you decided to take off from work and go to the gym. The gym where you went was a shared gym between your workplace and a fancy seven-star hotel. It was because the place where you were interning in Manhattan was an interior designing company which was recently assigned to redesign the interior of the hotel. You had free access to the gym of the hotel because of the redesigning otherwise you wouldn’t be able to afford a gym at Manhattan.

 You started with running on the thread mill, you had run three kilometers which made you a bit tired, to be honest, when you decided to stretch before your favorite part of the so-called workout session. So, you sat down on the floor and did some lunges then, while you were opening a side split you sensed someone’s eyes ogling at you.

 You tried to see who it was through the corner of your eyes and what you saw was like unbelievable to your only seven brain cells functioning at the moment because of the long day. It was Tom freaking Holland.

 HOLY SHIT

 You quickly looked away before there could be any eye contact between you and Tom Holland.

 You sort of panicked and moved towards the wall to help stretch your legs. You sat on the floor with your head facing towards the wall and your legs trying to stretch as much as they could with the help of the wall. Suddenly you heard a small voice, you removed your headphones and turned a bit to hear it clearly. “…excuse me?” Tom said with his British accent said. He stood there waiting for your reply. “Yeah?” you said trying to act cool but your heart was in your mouth. “Umm…I saw you stretching and wondered if you could help me stretch?” He said.

 You took a moment to get your heart out of your mouth and admire his beauty but then you replied: “yeah, sure”. He continued by introducing himself with a charming smile on his face “by the way I’m Tom”. Even though you knew who he was, you tried your best to act cool, “hey” you replied and raised your hand towards him to shake his hand. He had a confused reaction when you raised your hand but you guys eventually shook each other’s hands. “You’re quite the shaker if that’s even a word?” he said with his still confused face. “You…have a nice grip” which he indeed had.

 SPIDER-MAN WITH A SPIDY GRIP

 He sat down on the floor with his legs stretched out, you moved towards him to stretch his legs with your feet on both of his ankles. You both could feel the tension rising, more like awkward tension. So, to break the ice he asked you whether you were staying at the hotel. “No, actually the company which I’m interning for this summer is redesigning the interior of the hotel,” you said. “Oh, so are you from New York?” he asked, “Not really, I just moved to Brooklyn from Seattle”.

 The next few moments were quiet. You checked your watch and it was around 6:30, you thought that you’ll be late. “I should get going,” you said to tom and stood up leaving him on the ground. You were very much excited about your favorite part which was dancing. So you lurked around in the gym to look for an empty room. Finally, you found an empty room with a big wall-sized mirror on one of the wall. The room looked like it was made for dancing.

 You entered the room and decided to put on your headphones back on and weirdly decided to hear ‘replay’ by Zendaya because you had just met her co-star from the Spiderman franchise. You danced to that song till you got into the groove, the next song was ‘nonstop’ by Drake. It was one of your favorite songs so you had some moves to that song, by moves you mean you really knew your shit around that song. Some songs went by and suddenly your ears heard a sweet melody of ‘even the nights are better’ by air supply. It took you no time to change your moves to solo waltz. One of your hand was up in the air pretending to be on an imaginary man’s shoulder and the other was on the imaginary waist. You moved around the room doing your solo waltz with your eyes closed imagining a person with you. All of a sudden you felt a person underneath your hands and it made you open your eyes.

 TOM

 He pulled you closer to himself by your waist with a smirk on his face. The sudden force on your body made you gasp. His brown eyes were locked to yours and his body quickly coordinated with your steps. Honestly, you thought it was kind of romantic. You both waltzed around the room with the music only in your ears. It was sweet dancing with him but then the song ended and you quickly pulled away. You paused the next song and removed your headphones. “You’re quite the dancer,” he said with his very charming smile on his face. You froze, you didn’t know what to say or how to act. “Umm, I should get going it’s late”

 WHAT THE FUCK! IS THAT BEST YOU CAN DO? SERIOUSLY?

 You turned right around and started moving towards the door when you heard him say “I didn’t get your name?” you trying to be cool in front of a celebrity replied, “it is because I didn’t give it to you”. “So what is it? Your name, what is it?” he said. You started to walk towards him and whispered in his years “its y/n” and kissed him on his cheek.

 GO, GIRL!

 You turned around with your hair grazing Tom’s cheek and walked away with your head held high. You did something ballsy and didn’t want to show any distress on your face. You went straight to the locker room to get your stuff and sign out of the gym, because of the redesigning the hotel people were asking to write down your information in a guest book.

 Before leaving for the subway to go back home to Brooklyn you decided to stop by at Starbucks which was right across the building where you currently was in. There was still some paparazzi outside the hotel building. When you got inside the Starbucks you noticed that there was a surprisingly long line to order and it was not in your best interest to join the line but you still did. You were close to getting a chance to order when you got a phone call from London. You answered the phone thinking it was your sister who was currently living in London and changed her number. You had no reason to think otherwise but you were wrong. “You won’t believe who I just met,” you said not knowing who was actually on the other side of the line. “It’s Tom actually,” a guy with a British accent said from the other side.

“You won’t believe who I just met,” you said not knowing who was actually on the other side of the line. “It’s Tom actually,” a guy with a British accent said from the other side. It was at that moment when you really lost your shit. “Fuck” you said regretting the very next moment.

 “How did you get my number?” you asked.

 “From the gym guest book truthfully” he replied, “do you wanna grab a bite?” he asked.

 “I’m at Starbucks, the one which is across the hotel” you replied. “Ohk…I’ll be there in bit” he said and then hung up. You went in total panic mode and decided to order because you knew that some hibiscus tea would definitely help you soothe your nerves. You ordered your tea and went on to find a table for two. By the time you were waiting for your tea and Tom you decided to read your email. You didn’t have many emails so you decided to open your Instagram since your Instagram account was private you had some following request pending and the most recent one was Tom’s. You still were not able to get around the fact that you had danced with Tom Holland and was about have tea with him. You thought this was all so surreal and unbelievable.

 “One hibiscus tea with pomegranate pearls for Y/N” one of the staff members screamed making you snap out of your thoughts. You got up to get your tea when you noticed Tom already there to get it for you, he looked towards you and passed you a smile saying that he’s got it. It was so charming, you were beguiled by him.

 He sat in front of you. He was wearing a tight-fitting white t-shirt with a black hoody and denim jeans, he looked perfect even with his hair undone. “How did you get past the paparazzi outside the hotel?” you asked sipping your tea. “Well I use the service entry when I’m having some personal business” he replied. “Aren’t you gonna order something?” you asked again taking a sip of your tea. “Yeah I have already ordered coffee” he replied, you immediately started laughing after hearing him say that. “What are you finding so amusing? Care to share?” he asked. You responded “Don’t you find it funny that you are British and you’re having coffee and I, on the other hand, am American having tea” “Good point well made” he said.

 “One Americano extra short and a croissant for Haz” that same person screamed again. “That would be me” Tom said and got up to get his order. You were a bit confused to why he had used another name instead of his but you decided not to ask him. “How is your ‘quackson’?” you teased him “you too, seriously…thank you so much for asking, this ‘quackson’ is amazing I must say” he said in a sarcastic tone.

 You checked your phone to see the time and it was around 7:30. “Well I should go because I have to take the subway back to Brooklyn” you said. Tom immediately asked, “can I walk with you to the subway?” ”Yeah sure” you replied without any hesitation.

 You and tom were walking very close to each other, there was a very little gap between you two. Your hands very often bumped into each other. For a little while there was awkward silence but this time you decided to break the ice instead of him. “So what is your next stop after New York?” you asked. ”LA actually” he replied. “So there is this thing tomorrow, it is like an after party. Do you wanna come?” he asks removing his brown curls from his face. “Afterparty to what exactly?” you inquire. “The empire state building is lighting up in Spider-Man themed lights for the Brother’s Trust tomorrow”. “Oh, I see” you replied nodding your head. “So are you going to come?” Tom asks again “I think so” you answer him. “Very well, it’s a date then” he says in excitement. You pause your movement in shock because this beautiful British celebrity boy sort of just asked you out on a date and it was unexpected as fuck.

 When he realizes that you have stopped walking he stops too, he turns towards you “What happened?” he asks you with a concerned face. “Tom, did you just ask me on a date?” you ask to confirm. “Yes, darling” he replies with confidence, “okay then” you say and continue to walk.

 FUCK YEAH!

 “That’s me” you say pointing towards the underground subway entrance. Tom turns towards you and goes in for a hug, you and Tom hold on to each other for a hot second, just when you start to pull back tom kisses you. “Goodbye Y/N” Tom says when he pulls himself out from the kiss, “Goodbye Tom” you reply back. You still in shock decided to turn towards the stairs leaving him alone on the grey concrete pavement of New York City.

BLOODY HELL!

 The ride back home was supposed to be only 45 minutes but it sure felt like an eternity. You were so anxious about what had happened and what could happen in the future. Like always you were overthinking the situation. You knew that the kiss meant a lot to Tom because Tom was ready to risk it all with the paparazzi. People had already been shipping Tom with Zendaya as a couple and earlier you too thought that they were together but you were wronged.

 You decided to grab a salad for dinner, from one of the seven eleven which was on the way to your house. You get a ping from your Instagram DM, it was Tom.

 tomholland2013: hey! The party is downtown at Molly’s bar

 Your handle: okay…I cannot wait to meet you soon

 tomholland2013: me too love

 Your handle: well I got to go have my dinner

 tomholland2013: ok. Also one more thing, I’ll be sending you a town car to reach at the venue tomorrow so send me the address from where you want to be picked up

 Your handle: you really don’t have to do this, I’m a grown woman, I can come on my own

 tomholland2013: I know that but I just wanted you to do something for you

 Your handle: OMG you are so adorable to even argue with

 tomholland2013: are we arguing?

 Your handle: I don’t know…also fine I’m sending you my home address. It’s (y/h/a), Brooklyn

 tomholland2013: thanks…later love

 You woke up with a big smile on your face. You were so excited for tonight that you couldn’t even get through your day at work. Almost five times your colleagues had to bring you back from your imaginary world to planet earth. The town car was supposed to pick you up at 7 from your apartment in Brooklyn so you decided to leave work at 4:30 since the ride back home was for 40 minutes. The way back home you tried to sleep so that you wouldn’t look sleep-deprived because last night you couldn’t sleep with your anxiety and your scourge through Pinterest for some outfit inspiration.

When you reached home you threw your bag and shoes on the ground and rushed towards the bathroom for a quick shower. When you came out of the shower you were in total panic mode because you still wasn’t certain about you were going to wear. You looked towards your closet which was very unorganized and decided to wear something semi-formal so that you wouldn’t look neither overdressed nor underdressed. You finally decided to wear a grey plaid skirt with matching jacket along with a white shirt and a black bralette under it. In the case of makeup, you decided to go with a basic natural look.

Just when you were putting on your red heels you heard a knock on the door. You rushed towards it thinking it was the driver since it was almost time. When you opened the door a boy with red hair and freckles on his face was standing. “You must be y/n, I’m Harry Tom’s brother,” the said “hey harry, I thought the driver was going to pick me up,” you said with a smile on your face. “Yeah the driver is downstairs tom sent me to escort you” “it’s really nice to meet you,” you said with a nod. “Likewise, are you ready?” “Yes let me just grab my bag” you replied and then turned around leaving your door wide open.

The car ride with Harry was not that long, you guys mainly talked about each other’s jobs and Harry told you that how Tom couldn’t shut up about you the whole day. On the way, Harry told you that the empire state building was lighted in blue and red color today for Spiderman and The Brothers Trust. You even saw it through the window of your black town car, it sure looked very pretty.

[lisinfleur]

Surprise, surprise!

Hey guys!

This month I saved this sweet surprise for you all. Believe me, it was a surprise for me as well. I never thought it could happen someday and to have this content to offer you guys is really something impressive and almost unbelievable to me.

I have been working hard on edits and fictions all this time to provide the events from the "Uncrowned King's Thursday" to the "5 Crowns Weekend" and, somehow, it filled my life with joy, so add this small interview as a part of this event - especially for THIS prince you all know is my favorite haha - is something very special and a huge gift. Maybe the hugest a fan could ever get from its idol.

Well, let me stop the rounds and rounds and tell you what this surprise is all about: dear David Lindström agreed in answering some questions for me to publish here, for you guys!

We all know our sweet bardic prince launched on July 12 the first single of his album to come, a beautiful song named "Autumn". If you didn't hear it yet, you're losing a hit! However, I didn't lose time and pre-saved my single and my chance to have this amazing content for you guys!

Enjoy!

Image source: Instagram (@dalindstrom, credits to the owner)

Me: First of all, and once again, thank you for this amazing opportunity! Considering this small article will be published in an event about Sigurd, I would like to start with a few questions related to him if you allow me. Would you mind telling us a bit of what was the meaning of this character in your life as an actor? How did it contribute to your professional career, acting style, and personal life?

David: My pleasure! Obviously, the role of Sigurd has been extremely important for my career, giving me exposure and resources that I would otherwise never have had at this point which in turn has made possible almost everything I do today. But it was actually the process around getting the role that impacted me the most personally and that has affected the way I approach acting, music, and life in general. Here’s the story: When I got to the open audition for the sons of Ragnar at 07:30 in Stockholm there was already a line outside the building with 200 giant dudes in a Ragnar mohawk, each and every one having about as much mass in their beards as I had in my entire body at that point. I realized that I was never going to get the job by competing with these guys on who’s the biggest, baddest warrior so if I were going to do this at all I’d have to take a different approach. I had the belief that even in the Viking age not everyone could have been the giant beasts that we associate them with, so what if I could present a character that was a little more sensitive, slender and insecure? Even better, what about a Viking in his awkward teenage phase, gradually growing into the legend he would later be known as? I took a shot and was told from the start that I was unlikely to get the part, but there was something interesting in my interpretation so I was still brought back repeatedly up until the final audition in Ireland. At this point, I was auditioning both for the role of Sigurd and Ivar, with the latter having a flamboyance and hubris that was suppressed in Sigurd. When all was done Travis Fimmel and Alexander Ludwig came into the room for a group shot, during which I awkwardly waved to the camera and was promptly called out by Travis and told that I could forget landing the role. I’ll admit that I believed him, and part of me would continue to believe him all the way through filming and even long after. But what was so special about the whole thing was that from the very first second I was put in a situation where I was forced to believe that I had something unique to bring to the table, if I didn’t go all in on embracing my differences I could as well forget it. So, whereas I’d never normally trust my instincts and go out on a limb that way, when that became the only option, I had a chance to see for myself that it can be worth it. Ever since, I try my best to remember how hopeless it all seemed until it suddenly worked out, and that no matter how inferior and incompetent we feel at times, it’s our unique combination of flaws that make us valuable, exciting and irreplaceable.

Me: We’re a large community of Vikings fans, passionate about the series, their actors, and everything related to the world your talent helped to bring for us. This community embraces the characters with such love, that many of us write fictions about the series, giving our beloved characters what we think they should achieve or deserved. How it is it for you to know there are such fanfictions and that - in a great number of them - Sigurd was described with a different ending, where his life followed the curse of history and he became a king, or he found love, had children, etc.? How does it feel for you to know so many people wanted a better life and a sweet ending for your character?

David: It’s incredibly humbling to see the passion and investment that so many of you put into the character’s fate. It’s a hard feeling to describe, but it’s sort of just the reassurance of having a whole bunch of great artists on your side. Even though the reason behind Sigurd’s fate has been somewhat explained to me, I can’t honestly say that it’s a decision that I really agree with. Of course, Hirst does a job writing the show that I can’t imagine many others could, and it’s crucial for a good story that the writer’s vision takes precedence over the actors getting what they want. That said, it’s obviously no question that I personally would have wanted more time to release what I’d built up, and for Sigurd’s coming of age-arch to be completed. When I was told what was going to happen, I actually felt I had to get involved with making suggestions to Hirst for the remaining scenes to get some sort of closure, which can be seen in Sigurd being noticeably more proactive and confrontational towards the end. The fact that so many in the community seem to have similar ideas and feelings on the subject means more than you’d really believe. Still, we should never underestimate the impact that a story can get out of an uncompleted pattern, maybe it’s better that Sigurd left us wanting more rather than outliving our interest for him. But there’s so much good writing in the community that I wouldn’t be surprised if some of it became a great screenplay of its own.

Me: Despite the huge project Vikings represented for us or the fact that many of us came to know you because of Sigurd, you worked in different projects on Swedish television, theatre, and other fields. Would you mind talking about some of these projects for us? Something you recommend for your new fans?

David: I’d love to! The part I’m proudest of is probably Simon in the TV series “Blue Eyes”. It was my first major professional role and I was overjoyed to receive such a well written, complexly human character that I felt really fit my style. The filming was also incredibly fun, I was warmly welcomed into the business and had great guidance from a number of caring directors and while I was personally going through a major heartbreak at the time, I had the opportunity to make use of those emotions and grow both artistically and personally. The series itself is a great political drama that mirrors the ideological situation that much of the world was dealing with at the time in a way that I thought was both insightful and thrilling.

Image source: Google Images (credits to the owner)

Me: Now, speaking of your present life, you changed your focus from acting to your musician self, now gifting us with this amazing work that's your soon-to-come album. What is the meaning of this project to your life as an artist?

David: I’ve probably always seen myself as a musician more than anything else, and although acting has been another one of my favourite things since long before I got paid for it, my go-to source of expression has always been music. I’ve loved sharing musical ideas with my close friends and processing life through song writing, and few things have been as exciting as finding someone willing to give my stuff a listen. Landing a record deal like the one I have means the sudden realization of so much that had only been fantasy before, and it’s been surreal to see this imagined world take shape. But that’s still something I’ve had more than a year to prepare for. What I could never prepare for was the reception we’ve had so far. I know that I tend to not expect things to go very well, but even when I allowed myself to dream big, I thought that it would take Autumn a year to get where it’s now at after a month. It’s once again the feeling of being surrounded by incredible people giving incredible support, and there’s nothing quite as uplifting as the feeling of being in such good company.

Me: I'm a writer myself. And to compose my text works, I usually have some sources of inspiration like listening to some specific musicians and music styles, reading books related to the work I want to compose, etc. What are your inspiration sources when composing your songs?

David: Of course, my main source of influence is other music, and that would mostly be my favourite artists such as anything Julian Casablancas, Muse, Kent, MGMT and Lars Winnerbäck, as well as the classical music of Chopin, Liszt and Rachmaninoff. I love anything with great lyrics or big melodies. I’m also lucky enough to live with one of the most creative people I know, so I always run my ideas past her when I’m stuck or unsure, but the ideas can really come from anywhere. If I come across a story, place, picture or anything that resonates with me it usually has something special when it comes to structure, dynamics or flavor that I can try to apply on what I’m working on, so I find that really just living life and being aware of the world around me gives me more than enough input without having to actively pursue it. However, if I’m working towards a deadline, I find it most effective to take an idea that I already like and either jam with it or elaborate on it until it’s become something else. In either case it’s important to remember that the majority of creative work is just finding out what doesn’t work, so no effort is ever really wasted. I sometimes task myself with writing 10 songs that I think are shit, because even if I’m right 90% of the time that will still leave me with a good one.

Image source: Spotify (Autumn, 2019)

Me: Dayfelice. At the pre saving of your album's first single "Autumn", we saw the album was signed "by Dayfelice". I already know this is a new artistic name, but how did you come up with the idea and what’s the meaning of this name you chose, in your personal view?

David: It’s a stylized version of my first names “David Felix”. When I make music, I try to liberate it from trends or expectations when it comes to genre and sound, and to end up in a space where the song’s emotion, narrative, and imagery can really shape it without limits. So, most of the songs are very different from each other, but they center around an emotional, cinematic larger-than-life style, and I wanted to signal that with an artist name that had a romantic, elevated feel without saying too much else. Something that could be either a band or an artist of any gender, as well as something that just sounds good.

Me: I’ll never be tired to thank you for this amazing moment! Would you like to leave a message to the fan community of Tumblr and Vikings' fans that will reach this work?

David: I know it's cliché, but I genuinely just want to thank you all for your amazing support. I want you to know that I see your comments, I read your messages and it truly means a lot be surrounded by such a smart, progressive and kind community. Stay awesome and take care of each other.

Well, that's it, guys! The apex of what a fan could get and one more of the thousands of reasons why David became one of my favorite artists in this world: his sweetness and kindness towards his fans is admirable such as his talent and beautiful work. A complete artist bringing to us not only our sweet and beloved prince Sigurd but also lots of amazing works and new songs for us to enjoy!

Thank you one more time for your gentleness, dear David, and for you guys, thank you for bringing me the courage to go there and get this for us! I hope 

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[shibyn]

and the wind sounds like the world’s sigh

persona 4 & 5 | shiho-centric, investigation team  Near the end of May, Shiho transfers to a sleepy town called Inaba for a fresh start. However, Inaba isn’t the sleepy town her parents thought would be best for her— its on edge with unsolved mysteries, and Shiho finds that there’s a bit more behind what meets the eye regarding some of her classmates and a TV screen.

chapter 6 | 5.9k

Goddammit, what the hell is she thinking?-- maybe, just maybe, everything would be just fine, act like how it's meant to, that it's all just an ache she got when it rains or when she hikes up a hill-- she heard the fucking doctor, heard him say don't test it, looked him in the eyes and nodded yes sir I will not run ever again.

She closes her eyes, presses her knuckles against her eyelids. Lets it sit there awhile, till colors spark in her vision, till it starts to ache.

What a dream, she thinks, staring up to the ceiling. With the bleariness of her vision and the popcorn texture, it almost looks like static above her. Was that a dream? It was too weird, to surreal to be anything but a dream. Horror movie material. The unknowing protagonist coming across abnormal activity, something that by all means shouldn't be happening-- especially an image in the static, that's straight up a troupe, isn't it? But she thinks she remembers getting up and turning off the TV. Turning it on? Whichever it was. Maybe that was apart of the dream, too. Can you even fall asleep in your dreams? It might be an omen. Heaving a sigh, she rolls out of bed. "Good morning, Shiho!" her mother chimes. On the stove is sizzling eggs. The TV is playing some home-gardening channel, the volume low. Very homey. It's almost jarring how lively it is already, this early. For a moment, she can nearly convince herself that everything's okay in this household, and that she's not three steps from retreating back into her room. Shiho carefully sits at the table, where bowls of simple rice have already been placed. "Where's dad?" she asks just barely above the sound of the eggs. Her father isn't flitting around the kitchen, isn't grumbling around in the other room, so he must be out somewhere. Or the bathroom. Like an extension of her arm, her mother waves the spatula as a dismissal. "Oh, he went to run a few errands. He said we can go ahead and eat without him." In a smooth motion she lifts the pan from the stove, circling around the kitchen's island and to the table. She slops a few chunks of egg onto the plate in front of her, sets it down the middle for Shiho to scoop from. Conversationally, her mother asks, "Any plans for today?" while picking through the other garnishments on the table, stacking up her eggs. Shiho just takes hers plain. It's a little funny she bothers to ask. Shiho's days have been full of nothing since she got here. The most exciting moments are grocery shopping and phone calls with Ann. Wow-- she thinks, I think that's why everyone likes Junes. It really is the most exciting trips I make. "Not really," she says, chewing on rice. "Maybe study." The last quiz she got back wasn't too bad, all things considered. She didn't fail. Er. She didn't do well either. But that's not something her mother needs to know. Gosh, when grade reports are released... "I heard that one of the restaurants down town is going to be having karaoke nights this week!" her mother says idly, not yet digging into her food. She smiles at Shiho whenever she glances. "I think we've eaten there a couple of times. The noodle place, I'm pretty sure." "Mmhm," she hums around her spoonful. "I heard some people talking about it in class. Apparently highest score would get a free meal coupon." "Sounds fun! D'ya think you're gonna go?" she asks pleasantly, eyes creased in a smile. Shiho doesn't really want to think that it's an incentive to go, like she's being told to. Subconsciously her grip tightens on her spoon, metal digging into her fingers. She hopes she's just imagining that bit. "I don't think I will," she says truthfully. Her mother desires that much-- no lying, no fibbing, no maybes sures okays. The prodding won't stop until she admits it. "I don't... really have anyone to go with." Maybe Chie would go. Karaoke seems like something that group would do-- Yosuke's a Tokyo boy, so he's gotta have some experience under his belt with karaoke. Chie just seems like she would thrive in that place, and Yukiko, too, maybe. They would be an absolute riot. There's a long silence. She doesn't even realize how long it stretches until she looks up cautiously, catching the scrunched up expression on her mothers face, exasperated. "Look, Shiho," her mother says, tense, borderline desperate. The hitch in her voice makes Shiho tense up in her seat. "Are-- are you even trying?" What. What? Her mother takes the lack of response as an incentive to keep going. "You--" she motions aimlessly, her hand waving to indicate something, "You're never here, you keep leaving the house-- where the hell are you going? You don't hang out with anyone! You loiter around, doing nothing, instead of coming home! I honestly wouldn't be surprised if someone told me you were hanging around that biker gang--" The dam holding back the river is leaking. She's standing at the bottom, watching the crack tear through the entire length. God, it's an ocean behind that dam, not a river. "W--What?" she breathes, shell shocked, rigid. "How did you--" How did she know? Are-- Are people telling her--? "I don't get it, we're not in Tokyo anymore," she barrels on, not even looking at Shiho. It's like she's talking through it on her own, trying to figure it out. "Everything's a fresh new start here! The people are so nice around here, the school is great, everything... Why aren't you giving things a chance? Finding new friends? Finding things to do?" "I am trying," Shiho bites back, though it sounds close to pleading. The back of her eyes are getting hot, her vision wobbly. The worst part is that she thought she was doing better, too. Baby steps, right? She doesn't loath being here. Not anymore. She's getting there. She's getting there. They've lived here for nearly a month, maybe. She's never been a sociable kid in the first place. Ann was the only friend she had in Tokyo for since pre-school. Did she expect an instantaneous change? New environment, new her? Is she suddenly meant to be miraculously healed? Happy? She's only recently started feeling okay. Even then, that okay is so uncertain, in such quotations, unreliable. There's such a bone deep exasperation on her mother's face, unbelieving. As if she knows more than Shiho. Knows she's lying, though she truly wasn't, knows she's not trying, though she is. It almost makes insult flare up in Shiho. "Are you?" she asks, sad, so sad, but so misplaced. Her lungs are gonna collapse in on themselves, she feels it already happening. "Are you?" Shiho spits, wheezing. She reels as if she's been struck hard. The lines on her face are deep. She used to not have them; the worry lines, the furrowed cut between her brows. Did Shiho cause them to grow on her? Boiling over. It's been simmering this whole time, and now everything's boiling over. Now that she's started, she's gotta keep going, or-- Shiho plows on, "Are you trying, mom?" Her fists curl on the top of her thighs, skin stretched tight over her knuckles. "You... you keep acting like everything is normal, but you're the one who thinks avoiding it all is the key to getting a normal life again!" "That's not true," her mother breathes, hurt. Hurt that she's being accused. Does she not know? Shiho doesn't even blink. "It is!" The chair screeches against the floor when she stands. Her mother jumps, shoulders hitched to her ears. Almost a deer in headlights. "I wasn't even out of the hospital when you decided we needed to move. To leave every bit of it behind!" she chokes, swallows, and picks up again, "For a fresh start, you said. More like to act as if it never happened. Nothing's changed, not even from when it all was going on!" Maybe-- maybe she should tone it down. With each word, her mother's been shrinking back, looking small, like she's the one cornered. Guilt flashes through her-- Actually. Screw that. Screw that. "Do you just want a normal daughter? Is that what it is? Not this--?" she motions to herself, her no-longer-seasoned-for-volleyball self, her busted up legs, her, "So if we just forget everything, I'll be normal? Have normal friends? Have a normal hobby?" She feels herself tapering out, rapidly losing steam. "Mom, it happened." Shoulders sloping, a bone deep sigh. "Do you... do you think I like being like this?" Shiho whispers, almost lost in the air. She doesn't want to look at the expression her mother has. Just saying all of that-- things she's kept quiet about for a month, months, and she doesn't think she can take anymore.

She. She needs to-- to clear her head.

Despite every warning, every red flag, blinking caution sign, enormous Xs, do not do this, Shiho leaves her mother in the kitchen and walks straight out the front door.

There's no way in hell that just happened. No way.

Restless, Shiho walks around the block, hands jammed as far as they'll go in her hoodie pocket. Every couple of seconds she almost pauses, certain that the contents of her stomach are roiling back up. Dry heaved several times. Felt something come up four times.

Her stomach flips again and again. The entire organ system might come up eventually. She hoped she wouldn't have to breech that topic with her parents. Ever. If they were keen on ignoring it, so was she, as long as... as...

Flinching, she slouches further. And she just said that to her mom?

There's no one outside, none that she can see, and yet-- and yet she feels like all of her neighbors are staring, looking, knowing. You just broke your mother's heart, you fiend. Why aren't you trying for her? She is. She is.

Why does she have to try for her mother? Isn't she allowed to try for herself?

Her pace picks up-- There's no one at the windows, no one looking at her, yet she needs to get away from here. Far. Far away. At least out of the neighborhood. Then her neighbors won't squeak out on her to her mother. Won't ask her what she's doing. Someone opens the door from behind her and her shoulders tense with the definite curious look she's being given. She turns the corner and goes.

Maybe she's in a jog right now-- its the fastest she's ever gone, since, well. It hurts. It's not pleasant, the tightness of her knee, it sends twinges of discomfort all along her leg. With foot falls so heavy they click in her jaw. But it still holds, it still supports her upright.

Now there's a different reason her breathing is unstable. God. God, her stamina's gone to shit. Her everything's gone to shit. Getting better. Hah. Where?

Frustration coils in her chest. She can't let this get the best of her, regardless if her lungs squeeze to pulps the further she goes, the longer she goes. She's doing better. She's gonna be doing better.

Shiho's knee buckles.

An eternity passes as she trips forward-- yet, somehow, there's still barely enough time for her to catch herself before her nose crushes against the pavement. Essentially it's How Many Body Parts She Can Hurt At Once-- her knee skids, she rolls and jams her shoulder, her palms are neatly skinned, and she still ends up bumping her head. It even takes a second for her to settle against the ground.

It takes her a full couple of moments to recoil, shocked. The first thing that she fully comprehends, even before I fell, is the pain. It runs a blazing trail up her hands and arms and knees and ow. Ow. It hurts, along with the spasm of her knee, the grounded bones, stretched muscles, and it hurts. She winces, pushing herself up and winces again when the rawness of her hands and forearms grind into the pavement.

Goddammit, what the hell is she thinking?-- maybe, just maybe, everything would be just fine, act like how it's meant to, that it's all just an ache she got when it rains or when she hikes up a hill-- she heard the fucking doctor, heard him say don't test it, looked him in the eyes and nodded yes sir I will not run ever again.

She closes her eyes, presses her knuckles against her eyelids. Lets it sit there awhile, till colors spark in her vision, till it starts to ache.

Maybe she thought she was different. Maybe her legs had healed miraculously and she could do everything on them again, just with the side effects of a constant ache. Maybe she's doing better, like she thought she was. Like she could move on without a constant weight on her.

Is this what Ryuji felt, she thinks with a jolt, jittery. Even though he's got the reputation of being an idiot, he's probably not as bad as her. Though his whole livelihood, being able to run, was ripped away from him, he didn't even do something as-- as stupid as this.

A gentle touch brushes against the bridge of her shoulders, obviously intended to not startle her, and yet she nearly pitches into the pavement again she tears herself away so fast. She looks back frantically, grimacing when every part of her protests the sudden movement, and sees the look of alarm on Seta Souji's face.

Ah. Goddammit. Of course someone saw.

She really wants to crack a joke to dispel the tension in her chest, maybe something like 'huh, funny seeing you here,' but the very subtle crease in-between his eyebrows, the very heavy droop of his mouth, says that this is not the time to try and act like he didn't see anything. Besides, she doesn't think she'd even be able to get the huh out without it cracking and shattering every step of the way out her mouth.

Just to avoid looking him in the face, she brushes what she can out of her scrapes, jaw clenched enough it creaks, frazzled. Okay. Okay. Someone saw. It's probably no news to anyone in the whole town that something's up with her legs, with her awkward occasional hobble and overtly present knee brace. Cool. He probably also saw her take a nosedive into the pavement, and since he probably saw that play out, he probably saw her sprinting just before it. Anyone with a brain would know hobble and knee brace and sprinting go together like oil and water.

Blood smears along her elbow when she swipes at it probably too aggressively. She grimaces. Dammit. Dammit, and, and she had gotten it into her head she was doing better, being better. This-- this isn't doing better. Maybe her mom was right. Maybe she isn't getting better. After all, what kind of idiot pulls a stunt like this--

"--Suzui," Abruptly, he calls out, voice firm, stilling her frantic-ness. There's an edge to it, like he's been repeating it. How-- she belatedly realizes she nearly forgot he was there, and just waits. Waits for what he'll say, since he isn't laughing at her, isn't talking, and she doesn't know if she wants to hear what he has to say.

Would he-- would he nag her about it? Scold her? They've never even spoken a word to each other. But people in this town always think that they've always got a place for their input. They told her mother. They told her mother she was just as horrible as she suspected. Would he be any different? Would he tell her mother that she's putting a nail through any progress she made towards recovery, running from a conversation where she said she was fine? She doesn't know.

He reaches an open palm to her. "Are you alright?" He asks simply, no accusation in his voice. If she wasn't listening as closely, she could mistake the concern as speaking out of obligation. Maybe she's just tricking herself into thinking he even remotely cares.

Something wells up in her throat despite herself, nearly impossible to speak around. "I-- Sure. I'm alright," she says, voice scratchy and hoarse. She clears her throat awkwardly. Jesus, did she scratch up her throat along the way, too?

Embarrassed, she struggles to her feet, ignoring his hand. "Uhm," she flounders, brushing her fingers along the back of her legs. How can she pass this off? Even now, she notices the brief glance to her knees, noting both the beading blood from the scrapes and also the lack of that stupid knee brace. She tenses from the scrutiny. "Uhm, yeah, I'm good." Testingly, she bends the knee that gave out. She hopes she masked the grimace as well as she thinks she did. Idiot.

"Hey," he says just before she can jet it down the street with some flimsy-ass excuse. (Jet it. More like power walk as fast as her knee will allow it--) He motions to the line of houses on the other side of the road. "My house is right there, so you can... clean up there, if you want," he finishes. He politely keeps his eyes on her face and does not look down again.

He's almost telling her to listen. It's not in his words, no, but she gets the feeling if she tried weaseling her way out of this one, he'd only find another way to convince her.

Dammit. Dammit.

"...okay."

She isn't sure what she's expecting, really, when she enters. It's a house. Normal entryway, normal floors, normal everything so far. There's a couple of shoes resting by the door, some pairs perfectly straightened up and some awry. Distantly, she hears the TV, running commercials as a quiet drone.

Standing in the entryway as Souji continues walking in, she feels foreign. Alien. This is a normal household, she thinks, the floors are made of wood and not eggshells. It makes her stomach twist another coil around itself. (Horrible. Horrible.)

As she toes her shoes off she belatedly notices that Souji didn't have any on, more less slippers on. She doesn't know what to do with this information.

"--Big Bro? What'd you run out for--?"

Shiho doesn't really freeze in place, but she sure as hell halts trying to set her shoes as neatly as she can. She glances up-- Souji's waiting patiently a few steps away from her, glancing over his shoulder further into the house. Past him, she sees the curious face of a girl peering around the corner.

Ah. She recognizes those pigtails. It's the little girl who was at Junes. She forgot Souji's her older brother.

There's a whole pause as the girl stares, doe eyed. She can basically see the gears turning in her head before her entire face lights up in recognition like a rising dawn. "Oh! You're the nice Pudding lady!"

A startled laugh bubbles from her lips, surprised by the name. "'Pudding lady'?" she echoes, amused. Isn't she a little too young to be called 'lady'?

Face flushing bright cherry red, the girl quickly tries to amend, waving her hands frantically. "I! I mean!" She's too flustered to say anything else, fidgeting, struggling to amend.

"This is one of my classmates, Suzui Shiho," Souji quickly supplies, saving the girl from anymore fumbling. He looks fond, somehow. Shiho gives her a small wave, unsure of what else to do.

She perks up, less red but still pink. "Oh! Uhm, my bad, Suzui-san! I probably shouldn't've called you that, it was really silly-- Oh!! I, um, tried the caramel chocolate pudding! That you said was your favorite!" Shiho blinks, surprised, but doesn't get a chance to speak when the girl keeps barreling on. "It was super good! The caramel was very tasty!!"

Shiho is about five seconds from being overwhelmed with affection. She never would've thought that something she said-- something so fleeting-- would even matter that much to this little girl. Gosh. Gosh. "It's one of my favorite flavors for anything," she says, smiling something small. It's the flavor she always defaults to if she isn't in the mood for trying a new flavor. The crepe shop she used to go to had really good chocolate caramel crepes and desserts. She could really go for something like that right about now.

"Nanako? Could you get the first aid kit?" Souji asks, almost hesitantly breaking their conversation. Nanako tilts her head in query, but hurries off nonetheless.

He goes ahead down the hallway, leaving Shiho to linger behind absently. She steps out of the entryway, the floorboards creaking beneath her feet. Along the walls of the hallway are photos-- she easily recognizes Nanako in most of them, her pigtails never changing, also a man and a woman who she assumes are their parents.

Souji is absent from every single family photo. It jars her enough that she nearly pauses to look and make sure, but at Souji's curious glance, she keeps following.

She heads to the kitchen sink, sticking her palms up under the stream of water. It burns bright red, washing away the small bits of blood to show the angry red of her palm's heels. Softly brushing the grit from where its stuck, she glances around the house absently. The television's playing the news, fleetingly about some artist fellow in Tokyo.

The floor boards creek, signaling Nanako quickly reemerging with the kit in her hands. She curiously looks at her, gently placing the red bag onto the table top, eyes jumping from each little scrape, following as Shiho dries them off with a paper towel-- she quickly skitters back to the TV when Shiho purposefully clears her throat, shifting to turn the raw red from view. The tips of Nanako's ears burn pink in embarrassment.

Thankfully Shiho's ended up being handy at navigating a first aid kid-- she only mourns how long it's going to be to get everything covered and how much it'll be. Luckily, when she opens the kit, there's the usual contents of a first aid kit inside but then there's a plethora of cartoon themed bandaids piled on top.

Unsure if he should leave, Souji just hovers nearby the kitchen table, pretending to watch the TV but she sees him fleetingly glance her way. Nanako, on the other hand, restlessly looks over from where she's on the couch. It takes the three bandaids plastered on her shin before Nanako finally blurts, "What happened?"

"Tripped," is what she says. She very pointedly does not look up from where she's pressing the edges of a princess bandaid on her knee. Ariel's hair looks like a splotch of blood on the bandaid.

"Tripped?" Nanako echoes. Shiho can basically hear the scrunch of her nose, unbelieving.

"Well, I mean, I fell hard, that's why I'm all banged up."

Nanako hums, openly staring. A complete contrast from Souji, who is Specifically Not Looking.

"Big Bro was kinda weird for a bit," she says, oblivious to the way Souji tenses up from the corner of her eye. She rests her chin atop where her arms are crossed on the table, looking at Shiho sideways. "He, like, glanced out the window and then kinda sat up straighter. Then he jumped and ran outside! It must've been quite a fall, Suzui-san, he really sprinted! Are you sure you're okay?"

She glances at Souji but his expression is very carefully neutral. "I'm fine," she says, practiced.

Physically? Debatable. Mentally? Also debatable. Emotionally, too. She's tired enough she might not rise up whenever she leans to plaster another bandaid on her shins. Nanako doesn't need to know that.

Not fully satisfied, Nanako only pouts, but no longer prods. To the sound of the weatherman, Shiho dwindles through the pile of bandaids.

Patched in a billion colors, she looks a little bit like a mess along her shins and arms. The large plain bandaid on the heel of her palm pulls a little awkwardly whenever she moves her hand, but hey, it works.

Souji looks up from the TV when she zips up the first aid kit. Maybe six minutes in, after Shiho had finally cleaned and dressed her left leg, he had sat down at the other end of the table, still both attentive and non attentive. Always within reach if she needed help. She doesn't know if it bugs her or not.

"You all done?" he asks, brushing his bangs from his eyes. He rises, and for a second she almost thinks he's going to offer to help her up, like she needs help, a flash of something fiery and grimy in her chest-- but he only moves to snag a blanket from the edge of the couch, draping it over Nanako's shoulders. She didn't even notice Nanako had clocked out.

Shiho exhales. Physically shakes the tension from her shoulders. "Yeah. Thank you for, uhm, letting me come in," she says. When she stands, her knee's tight, achy, but it supports her weight. Doesn't buckle. Pretending not to see how Souji's discreetly watching, watching for any limp or sign she'll drop again, she pushes her chair back under the table.

At least he's got the decency to look as if he's not watching the wobble of her legs. "It's no problem."

She heads to the doorway without much fanfare, toeing on her shoes, pulling open the door. Really, she does try to look like she's not in a hurry to leave because that's rude, but she really just wants to go--

"Suzui," Souji calls out from the entryway. She halts, feeling caught, turning.

Visibly there's something on the tip of his tongue. His nose scrunches, probably unsure of how to say it--

He sighs. "Take care," is all he says.

Throat tight, she nods at him, and closes the door behind her.

—

According to her phone, it's only a little after ten o' clock. If it weren't for that, she could mistake it for being three in the morning.

Besides. She has no clue how long she's been standing in front of the ice cream section. They're all starting to look like the same brand, same type. She checks her phone again. Ah. She's been standing there for five minutes.

At least being here this late means no one's lingering in the aisles to give her grief about staring at the cheapest ice cream. No one being here also makes her feel much more lonelier than she thought she could feel.

Typed in the message box of her mother's contact is 'I'm sorry. I'll be home soon.' She typed it out maybe two hours ago. Had her thumb hover above the send button multiple times, for a moment or two, before clicking her phone off and putting her mind off of it.

She's. Not very surprised they haven't called. Is she?

Before, they never called whenever she was later than she said she'd be. Never fretted, never worried. Maybe they thought she'd be with Ann, goofing off somewhere in the streets of Tokyo, being like how teenagers should be. Never have. Still haven't. Only after it starts growing dark and she isn't home yet she'll possibly get a where are you. She should be the bigger person. Message them. Call them.

Her parents-- they're trying, aren't they? They're right, she isn't trying to get friends or a job or a hobby. She's trying to keep from rooting down in Inaba, to just breeze by the year and get the hell out of here. But they... they still ask. They themselves have thrived in Inaba, bonding with neighbors, with the old ladies who visit the antique shop her mother works at, the regulars they'll meet at restaurants they'll go to.

She was never the sociable type. Ann's the only one who brought her out of her shell-- she never thought she would need someone else besides her. Lord knows her life would be over if they ever got into an argument big enough to split them apart.

Truly. Thank god no one's around to bug her about not grabbing a damn box yet. There went three extra minutes of her swimming in her own thoughts.

Just as she raises a hand to pull open a door, any door, her phone begins to buzz against her knuckles in her hoodie pocket. She grimaces, full bodied. It's probably her parents. It's most definitely her parents. Wondering where in the hell she is. They're not normally up at this time-- Well. She never really did return home, after this morning, after the whole fiasco at Seta Souji's. Couldn't bring herself to. Leave the house after a fight (can it even be called a fight?), and then return patched up to all hell? She might as well join the biker gang her mother thought she'd be apart of at that rate.

But maybe they're calling to make sure she's okay, not dead in a ditch or abducted by the freak that's in town. Good god.

So she absently answers with a quiet and quaking yeah? as she moves to look a different section of ice cream. Not a single logo is comprehendible to her, too unfocused, straining to listen.

"Shiho!"

Ann's voice hits her ear full force, the loudest thing she's heard in hours, and Shiho nearly drops her phone. Completely oblivious to the spectacular fumbling Shiho just did, Ann chatters on, "How are you doing! Sorry I'm calling you so late-- today was a crazy day!"

"Ann," Shiho breathes, almost cupping her phone to her ear. Nearly inaudible over the phone, it dregs on the tail ends of her voice but Shiho can hear just how exhausted she is. She didn't even realize... the last time they messaged each other was yesterday, then. It really must've been busy today. "Ah, it's-- it's fine, I don't mind. You sound really tired, Ann-- should you even be calling me?"

"Pssh." She can almost imagine Ann waving her hand dismissively, the scrunch of her nose. "I'll be fiiine. It's only a little bit of sleep I'm missing out on!"

She-- She didn't even realize how much she needed to talk to Ann until now. The tension that's been in her shoulders all day slowly seeps out. Resting her forehead against the fridge doors, she smiles privately to her phone. "You'll get bags under your eyes! They'll bug you about that when you're modeling, won't they?"

There's an awkward noise, almost surprised. She doesn't really get why Ann made the noise, but she doesn't have time to ponder about it when Ann continues, "Actually, I think I might end up quitting modeling...!"

Quit modeling. She probably shouldn't be as shocked as she is, but.

At her first photo shoot Ann had dragged Shiho along for moral support. It was only fair, she did convince Ann to go for it, since when did being unsure stop Ann Takamaki from doing anything? Though there was a bright smile on her face, her fingers still trembled around Shiho's wrist. She was so excited for it-- she nearly didn't sleep the night before, but conceded whenever Shiho had scolded her she was gonna feel like shit during the shoot if she didn't take care of herself then.

They had celebrated by going to the crepe shop like they always do, went the day she got the gig, went the night before, went after the actual shoot too. Ann nearly cried bubbly tears over the extra-extra creme crepe she had gotten, excited, exhausted, glad it went well and that they gave her a date for the next shoot.

Shiho's fingers tighten around her phone. Hobby or not, she loved doing it. What could've...

"Is-- Is Mika that bad, recently?" she asks, picking at her phone case absently, a little jumpy, "I knew she was a stick-in-the-ass, but it never really got to you, right?"

"Oh! No, it's not Mika!" There's a stage whisper to the side, though its great I don't have to deal with her anymore, that makes Shiho breathe out a little airy laugh. "It's just that it's really suckin' up a lot of my time, y'know? Also they've been giving me a lotta shit for eating out more recently. Can you believe it! They know I can't help but eat sweets, but they still nudge me about it! Let a girl live!" It doesn't quite feel like the whole story. She's not exactly sure why she's getting that feeling, that Ann's purposely letting something slip by-- guilt swells up in her chest, because, well, why would she even think that Ann's not telling her something?

Ah. That's what happened before, wasn't it? They didn't even tell each other what was going on, dancing around each other, assuming, and this is where they've ended up: miles apart.

Shiho bites on the corner of her thumbnail, forcefully pulling her thoughts away.

"I feel ya," she says in the lull, "I'm actually in the ice cream aisle right now-- I got reminded of that chocolate caramel crepe I used to always get earlier and now I'm trynna find something to measure up..."

"Oh!!" Shiho pulls her phone from her ear briefly-- people in the next aisle over could probably hear that, if there are any. "Shiho! You have to try these ice cream bars, uh, the ones with a little polar bear logo on them! Cookies and cream flavored! God, I can't remember what they're called, but Ryuji lost a bet between us and had to buy us snacks and he chose these ice cream bars and they're good!" Idly she walks down the aisle until the ice cream bars line the shelves. She tries looking at the brands, but they're all starting to look the same again. "You let him choose a snack for you?" she asks, voice tilting at the end, surprised, "Risky gambling. I thought those gummies were always your go-to snack?"

Ann laughs like wind chimes. "I wanted to try something different! Plus I always see him get something good at the 777. Lately I've just let him get whatever for me! I had no clue Ryuji was, like, a guru of convenience store snacks. Akira, too! Man, I was really missing out whenever I was so caught up on those diets for modeling...! At least I'm above Yusuke. His life was only cup noodles, I swear."

She finds the ice cream bars with the polar bear logo. The frost melts under her fingertips, numbing.

Shiho feels like she's watching a month old rerun. There's no where to see the newest episodes at airing time, they're never scheduled. No longer up to date. Only catching up. Always behind.

"Oh, hey, do you also have the same long weekend as us?" Ann asks with the excitement growing in her voice, oblivious to Shiho's pause. Not unkindly. "Next weekend? Er, not this upcoming weekend, but the one after that one? Next-next weekend? Maybe you could come up and visit!"

Pressing her forehead to the chilled glass of the fridges, the box of ice cream thawing in her hands, Shiho exhales.

"I think so," she says evenly. She doesn't know. She doesn't even care if there isn't an extended weekend-- Yasogami can be damned. She's going to visit Ann.

"For real?!" Ann squeaks, like she's surprised herself. "That's-- Awesome! Okay! Sweet! Uhhh--" she shuffles around, muted through the tinny speaker, "Cool! We can plan more later, yeah? I gotta head to bed, I nearly just dropped my phone I started nodding off. I'll talk to you tomorrow!"

"Oh, okay, talk to you tomorrow," Shiho says, almost detached. "Sleep well, Ann. Love ya."

Ann chirps, "G'night, Shiho. Love ya," and the line clicks to silence.

[seriouslyhooked]

Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 16)

22 part AU written for @cssns​. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy​!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: Hey everyone! So we are back after the LONGEST time away I have ever had from fic writing since I started way back when. I know it was such a long break, and so many of you have reached out to see if I am still in this, but I never forgot this story. I just had to pass the hardest year of school ever to get back to my CS happy place! There is so much going on in this story right now, so many pieces that need tying together or resolution on, and in this chapter we are moving full steam ahead (but since it’s been a while you might want to go back and refresh on where we left off before). There’s finally a meeting that so many have you have been waiting for and there’s love, loss, and so many other emotions too… but I won’t spoil much more than that. You’ll just have to read and then let me know what you think! Anyway thank you all so much for continuing to follow along in this story with me. Hope you enjoy!

“Okay, so I know that technically I can do more than make flowers grow, but I have to be honest… this is so freaking cool, I never want to stop!”

The excitement exuding from Anna this afternoon as she and Elsa worked on some magical ‘training’ with Ruby was undeniable. Emma couldn’t blame Anna for that elation either, not when she was watching her friend do something remarkable and almost unbelievable. The beautiful garden that had been here just a few hours ago was now totally over grown, with so many more flowers than there had been before. The colors of their petals were also now touched with an ethereal element. They seemed to glow, and to radiate this precious golden light from within. The veins of each leaf swirled in a pronounced and gorgeous way, and these plants were simply bursting with life and energy and magic.

Over the past three days Anna and Elsa had been doing their best to make progress in their ability to wield their family gift. This had been a fatiguing process, with Ruby having to start from very basic places. There were rules, it turned out, about how to cast spells and use magic safely. One had to remember all of these steps to make sure no one got hurt, and though at times Anna was a little hyper active or distractible, Emma had never seen her friend more studious and focused. She was determined to access her magic and do everything she could with it, and that determination was bringing her leaps and bounds in a very short time. In fact, Ruby was so confident in Anna’s ability to test her gifts and to remember to follow the laws of magic that she’d given her free time to just explore what she could do, thus this impromptu garden party of sorts.

“It’s amazing, Anna. How does it feel?” Emma asked, having a sense herself as she felt the warm and subtle kiss of the magic in the air around them. Emma felt rejuvenated and calmed all at once by this magical display, so she could only imagine what casting the spells that made this possible felt like.

“It feels like…” Anna closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and soaking in the joy around her, and when she opened her eyes they were filled with emotion and a thoughtful quality that spoke to real happiness. “It feels like getting to lick the spoon when Grams makes cookies, or the first beach day with Mom and Dad every summer.”

“That good?” Emma asked, less as a question and more as a statement of awe and true joy for her friend.

“That good,” Anna agreed, her smile growing as her eyes cast around at all she’d created over the past few hours. But eventually her gaze turned back to the house and some of that happiness dimmed. It wasn’t fully gone, but now there was a little bit of sadness in the midst of all this celebration. “I only wish that Elsa felt this way too.”

“She’ll get there,” Emma promised, though she didn’t have visions of the future to check that that was true. All she had was a thorough understanding of her other best friend, and faith that soon the pieces would fall as surely into place for Elsa as they had for her sister. “You two are never far apart for long.”

“And where we go you usually follow,” Anna joked, making Emma laugh even though this time that couldn’t be the case.

“Unless you know of some mystical waters or whatever the heck sparked magical people years ago, where I could get a gift like yours, I’m not sure that’ll be happening this time. I think the flowers only have one new overlord to answer to.”

“Well of course your magic won’t be the same,” Anna said, like this whole conversation was so totally obvious. “But being a shifter? I mean come on, that’s arguably the coolest magic of all. You’ll get to turn into a wolf for crying out loud!”

At the mention of her suppressed shifter status Emma’s heart jumped. That seemed to be a recurring thing since her grandmother had turned up and dropped the bomb of all bombs. Well honestly, maybe the biggest reveal had been the fact that her grandmother was even alive at all, but looking past the magic that was required for all of this to be real, and the heartbreak of the years that Ruth and her Dad had been apart, the reality that there was shifter blood running through Emma’s veins was surreal.

Being a hybrid, even if her ability was currently blocked, changed so much about what Emma knew of herself. It was a blessing and a curse in so many ways. On the one hand Emma was glad to have some things make more sense. The white wolf in her dreams all those years ago and that feeling that not everything was as it should be now made sense, but at the same time there was no guarantee that Elsa could even remove the block in Emma’s spirit as she had for Neal.

Currently Elsa was trying to access those memories with Ruby, but it was slow going. And even if Elsa could recreate the spell, Emma had to think about if that’s what she wanted. It would no doubt be dangerous, and no one actually knew what happened when human/shifter hybrids came of age. She would be the first one as far as they all knew and she was so out of touch with her animal Emma didn’t even realize it was there when she was awake. So how could she ever expect to be a good shifter? How could she hope to learn all that needed to be learned? What if in the end she wasn’t meant to be one? What if -

“Uh oh, and there you go again, over thinking things,” Anna said, bringing Emma’s attention back to the real world. Anna’s hand was now on her hip and she shook her head in an almost chastising way. “You’ve got to stop doing that, Ems. Elsa is going to figure this out, she’s going to find a way to safely lift the block, and then you are going to finally be all you were meant to be.”

Emma didn’t want to argue with her friend, but suffice it to say she wasn’t as convinced. Anna made it sound so simple, but in Emma’s mind it wasn’t. What she had right now was brilliant. Her life was full and happy. She had her family and her friends, and she had a true love, her fated mate, a man who made her experience love in the most blissful of ways. She didn’t want to risk any of that, and she didn’t want to go off hoping for more when what she had right now was more than enough. No one should be this lucky, despite the continued unrest that waiting for Liam was bringing, and Emma didn’t want to jinx things by feeling entitled to being a shifter too.

“It’s like me and my magic, Emma. When we found out, I was excited but I was also really scared. I kept thinking that everyone was wrong. There had to be a mistake, because it wasn’t me who was special it was Elsa.”

“Anna,” Emma said, her earnestness showing through in her tone. “Elsa might be special but so are you. You deserve your magic just as much as she deserves hers.”

“I know that, Emma, I do, but even if I know that, there’s still that voice in my head that doesn’t want to hear it, and I bet it sounds a lot like the one you have telling you that you’re not ready to be or worthy of being a shifter.”

Anna came over and took Emma’s hand in hers in a sign of solidarity. She was right, after all. Those negative thoughts did seem to be something they shared, and though she was nervous, Emma craved the chance to overcome hers just as Anna had.

“So how did you get over it?” Emma asked and Anna laughed.

“I didn’t. It’s still there sometimes, but I just have to tell it to shut up. Fear doesn’t want you to hope for good things, Emma. It wants you to limit yourself and deprive yourself of things that could be great just because they also could be scary. You can either cave to it or you can overcome it, and not so deep down you know that. And you know how I know that you know?  Because you, Emma Nolan, are one of the bravest people I have ever met.”

Emma’s throat tightened at the words, and she could feel her friend’s own emotion starting to get the better of her. Anna’s feelings freely flowed in the air around them just as they always did. She was not the kind of person to stifle her reactions. Instead, she spoke the truth as she saw at, blowing Emma away as she did.

“There’s no one else who faces a crisis like you, Emma. You stay steady, even when everyone else breaks. You did it when we were kids and small scale things happened, like when the Heller boys decided to start bullying Elsa, or when someone had to scale the McNealy’s fence to get our ball back.”

Emma barked out a laugh, thinking about old Mr. McNealy and how he used to scare them senseless as kids. Now they knew he was just a curmudgeonly old guy, but back then he seemed like a real monster.

“And you did it when everything was happening with Neal. You had to take on so much far too soon, and you did it unflinchingly for your brother and for your parents. Then, when we lost Grams, and then lost Mom and Dad so soon after, you were there for us too. Night and day, no matter what, you were our rock. As much as Elsa and I pulled ourselves together, you were right there with us, and you never questioned it. It’s always a given to you that you’ll help everyone you love and anyone you meet.”

“Well when you put it like that…” Emma said, attempting some humor even though her voice was thick with emotion. She was touched at Anna’s words, and it came to a head when her friend pulled her in for a hug. The tears pooling in her eyes fell at that point, quietly but undeniable, and she had to wipe them away as she pulled back. “Thanks, Anna. And just for the record, I don’t think I have that calm in the storm thing all to myself.”

“I know. It was a great pep talk wasn’t it?” Anna asked, prompting more laughter between the friends that continued until some rustling came from the hedgerow and Elsa and Ruby appeared.

“Seems like you two are having fun,” Elsa said, her eyes softening immediately as she saw Emma and Anna. There was still stress there, but Emma could see that Elsa felt better being back in their company.

“Well there’s plenty to go around,” Anna joked, flicking her wrist and launching an ivy vine up into the air and having it rustle against Elsa’s braided hair. “Unless you guys still have work to do. It’s kind of been a lot for one day, don’t you think?”

“About that… we’ve got some good news and some not so good news,” Ruby announced, her hands waving along as she talked, a trait Emma knew she and Killian shared when they were catching other people up to speed. “The good news is that we were able to access Elsa’s memory of when she helped Neal.”

“So you saw the spell?” Emma asked, looking between Ruby and Elsa. A chill zipped through her at their faces, because despite the breakthrough, neither of them seemed super enthusiastic.

“We did,” Ruby continued. “Turns out Elsa did the impossible – she literally removed Neal’s two souls from his body to blend them back together.”

“Removed them... wait, like killed him?” Emma asked, shocked, and Elsa looked so stricken as she quickly explained.

“I didn’t kill him. It was just a few seconds. It happened really quickly. He just went to sleep for a second, that’s all.”

“But technically without a soul a person is dead,” Ruby supplied. “And if they’re not, we’re entering vampire territory.”

“Vampires?!”  The question was yelled out not just by Emma, but Anna and Elsa as well, and Ruby winced in response.

“Sorry, bad joke. Vampires aren’t actually a thing. But then again removing souls from a body wasn’t supposed to be a thing either. So at this point…” Her continued attempt at light heartedness petered off as Ruby shrugged.

“But you can do it,” Emma said, looking to Elsa and her friend nodded.

“Apparently I can. I had no idea what I was doing then, and I can’t find anything in my family’s archives. It’s a mystery.”

“Would you even be able to do it again?” Anna asked and Emma fully expected Elsa to say that she couldn’t, but for the first time Elsa looked certain as she nodded.

“Yes. I can do it.”

“Maybe,” Ruby stressed. “She can maybe recreate a miracle a second time, but I have to be honest guys, this is not magic I know how to wield. It’s a real risk. Anything could go wrong. Your souls could react badly, they could not blend, they could reject any kind of intervention at all, and if they did…”

“If they did, I could die.”

There was no need to say anything else on the matter for a moment. The four of them allowed Emma’s observation to hang in the air, sinking in in a sickening way. Life and death situations were something Emma had faced before, but she’d never willingly put herself in a dangerous way. To do so now would either be incredibly foolish or impossibly brave, and Emma wasn’t sure where she stood yet on that. On the one hand, she could be taking a huge risk only to lose everything she now held so dearly. On the other, this could be the answer to that last missing piece of the puzzle that was her life. Plus it would help not only her, but Neal as well who was going to be facing his first shift just a few more years from now.

“Whatever you decide, Emma, there’s no need to rush,” Anna said, finally breaking the silence that had fallen as she touched Emma’s arm in a reassuring motion. “It’s not like Elsa is going anywhere. We’ve got time to see what you might want.”

“Exactly,” Ruby said with a firm nod. “This isn’t the kind of thing we should be too hasty about. Let’s just tackle one thing at a time. Liam will be arriving any day now. Let’s climb that mountain before staring down another.”

The four of them agreed this was a good place to leave things, and Emma was relieved. Crazy that the impending arrival of Killian’s unknowable brother was of relief to her now when for days it had been so anxiety inducing. But for some reason, that felt like a battle that could be won. For this moment she was part of a team, it was her and Killian and her friends and family. She felt like anything could be accomplished as long as they were together, and she genuinely had hope in her heart that things weren’t as hopeless with Liam as Killian believed. But trying to heal her block… well that would just be her and Elsa trying to do something they had no real clue how to do, and that was scary as hell.

“Ruby, what’s wrong?”

Elsa’s sudden question prompted Emma to look to her new friend, immediately feeling a pang of anxiety again. Ruby was overly alert, and Emma had seen that kind of posturing before from Killian when he thought she was in trouble.

“We’ve got company.”

“Liam?” Emma and Elsa asked at the same time and Ruby shook her head.

“No. I think I’d sense if it were Liam. No I just heard something. In the woods back there.”

The three friends turned to follow Ruby’s gaze, but Emma was shocked when Ruby moved forward towards the sound. She told them to stay back and she’d figure it out, but just as she moved out of sight, Emma, Elsa, and Anna heard a throaty chuckle that came from the opposite direction. They jumped in surprise and whipped their attention over and then Emma and her friends sighed aloud in relief.

“Graham, was that you?” Emma asked, and their town Sherriff grinned.

“Maybe.”

“It was him,” Anna said with an eye roll. “Well I hope you’re happy. You scared five years off my life. Not cool Graham.”

“Ruby it’s okay you can come out!” Emma called. “It’s just Graham. He’s harmless.”

“Oh you wound me, Emma. I like to think I could do some…”

Whatever words Graham was going to say trailed away as his eyes looked past Emma and back to the tree line. Without even having to peer over, Emma knew what he was staring at, or rather who he was staring at. The only person in that direction was Ruby and from Graham’s expression, this was more than a strictly ‘she’s hot’ reaction. Emma flipped her gaze to her new friend and sure enough, Ruby looked just as struck silly as Graham did.

“Ooh, look it’s happening again!” Anna whispered whisper-yelled gleefully. “Love struck, the two of them. It’s like Emma and Killian 2.0. I bet you guys a month of diner lunches that they’re fated mates too.”

Both Emma and Elsa refused to take the bet, instead watching (with totally no chill and no attempt at giving Graham and Ruby privacy) as the two shifters moved toward each other. Emma wondered what it must be like for them, but she had some idea. Killian had detailed to her what it felt like to be confronted with one’s other half if you were a shifter. Everything shifted focus and all of a person’s senses were heightened and needy. It was an instant force of lust and want and adoration. It was really love at first sight, and for most shifters it was just understood. There was no need for small talk or getting to know each other. Nature chose your perfect match, and time would prove that to be true.

Because she knew this, it didn’t surprise Emma when Graham took Ruby’s hand in his and when his other hand came to cup her cheek. They were so close, eyes flashing a wolf’s color and they looked just a split second away from forgetting themselves entirely and making out or doing more. Surprisingly though, words did come, and though Emma and Elsa and Anna were totally forgotten, Ruby did seem to have the sense to ask some critical questions.

“But how did I… there’s no trace of you in town. I should have known about this - known about you.”

“Oh trust me, babe, Tink is going to be hearing quite an earful from me about this.”

“Babe?” Emma whispered to Elsa and Anna, half shocked at the word choice and half uncomfortable. In all her years of knowing Graham he had never, ever, called anyone anything like that before.

“Tink?” Ruby asked, and Emma was really curious now about what having a mate meant for Ruby. There was a chance she was so overwhelmed with Graham that she wasn’t able to tap into her gifts, but this seemed like a relatively straightforward vision. Also, Emma was like ninety five percent sure Tink had been mentioned more than once.

“Girl, she is so gone for him,” Anna said gleefully. “Oh! We should make popcorn!”

“Uh no,” Emma and Elsa said at the same time before Elsa continued on. “If anything we should leave them be. It’s only a matter of time before they start going at it, and we don’t need to be anywhere near seeing that.”

Emma laughed at Elsa’s claims as Anna feigned a sigh. Obviously she wasn’t interested in spying on the intimate moments of two new mates, but Anna really did love love, and Emma knew her friend was hoping for more cuteness before any impending sexy times. But whatever any of them were expecting, it likely wasn’t what happened next. One second Ruby and Graham looked poised to run off together, and the next Ruby’s features changed and her eyes went hazy. It only lasted a moment but she jumped when it was over and she looked to be in actual pain. Graham moved with her, and though Ruby was still alarmed, Emma could see the slightest bit of comfort come form Graham still being there. Still it wasn’t enough to fully calm her, and what Ruby declared next sent ice rushing through Emma’s veins.

“He’s here. Liam’s here, and he just found Killian.”

Shit!

………………………………..

At times like this it was difficult for Killian to know if pacing was a product of habit or an animalistic urge.

There was evidence enough to suggest it could be his animal. Wolves were known for patrolling when they were contained, agitated, or ready to fight, but as the morning light shifted to a mid-day warmth, Killian’s pacing felt like more than that. True, he felt a little held captive; the anxiety of what was coming was getting to him and there might indeed be reason to fight. But this motion right now, this back and forth route in front of his new Storybrooke home, wasn’t caused by his brother or an impending battle: it was caused by a desire so strong it was starting to control him.

As the days passed by, Killian’s love for Emma only grew. Despite the full moon being long gone by now, he felt this continuing clawing need to be near his mate. It was difficult for him to be away from her, and it was damn near impossible when there was a threat not too far off. In fact, the only thing keeping him sane right now was that she was protected and surrounded by other people who loved her. Ruby was a more than capable shifter who had made it very clear that she considered Emma family in the realest kind of way, and with her visions she should see any danger for Emma before it got here. They had been spotty as of late, with larger blind spots than she was used to, but both Killian and Ruby were certain that when the time for Liam’s arrival actually came, Ruby would know of it. That, coupled with Anna and Elsa’s new gifts, was enough to keep Killian from trailing Emma all afternoon and trying to protect her himself.

The fierceness of his need to see Emma safe was one of the strongest things he’d ever experienced, second only to his love for her, and carrying around such immensity of emotion made Killian eager to shift and to run and howl. He’d allowed himself the first two so far this morning already, but eventually he’d been called back to human form and to the house again. Connecting with his wolf right now just didn’t seem to hold all of the power that it once did for his peace of mind, and Killian was relatively certain he knew why. For underneath all of that protective instinct, and beyond the anticipation of seeing his brother again, there was something else clawing at Killian, something he wanted to do so badly but kept having to keep himself in check over.

Opening the small black box that held a symbol of his hopes for he and Emma, Killian looked down again at his grandmother’s ring, his eyes catching the way the precious gem sparkled in the light. It looked just the same as it always had, a classic and beautiful ornament, now fitted to Emma to perfection, and designed to show the world how tied up they were together. It was a testament to love, a symbol that, if she said yes, the two of them would be wed. And even though he knew that’s what Emma wanted, seeing as she’d already agreed to be his mate, it still made his heart sputter in his chest to think of asking her. He knew that he wanted that moment to be perfect. Emma deserved everything from flowers to candlelight. She deserved ambiance and the undeniable truth that he loved her more than anything. She deserved a story, one they could tell forever and look back at with pride. But even though he knew what should be done, it was killing Killian not to just do this now. He hated waiting. His patience was all but fried, and every day that he spent not working towards that forever with Emma hurt him more than he could say.

But here was where it all came back full circle. Because the reality was he couldn’t create that moment. He couldn’t give Emma those things when he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. All of them were anticipating the arrival of his brother and the showdown that would come, and until that was faced and dealt with Killian couldn’t do what he wanted most. It would be too selfish on his part, and he already had regrets about how things had gone with Emma already. Not their being together surely, for he could regret nothing about having Emma in his life and in his heart. But he wished that things could have been a little less harried. Emma was strong and determined. She would stand tall through whatever storm came their way, but he wished she didn’t have to. That essence of normalcy that she was craving? Truth was he craved it too. If they could just have a little bit of peace and quiet to enjoy all that they’d found it would be miraculous. But it seemed too much to ask the universe to have such a brilliant mate and a bit of time to truly enjoy his good fortune.

You’re going to wear a patch in the grass, Killian.

He heard the words in his head and they were said with the loving chastisement that only his mother had ever truly been able to capture. He closed his eyes and stopped, inhaling the fresh air around him and breathing out again. It was rare for him to do this anymore, to hear his mother’s voice as he went about his life. He’d shut off the part that was open to her and her goodness so long ago. When he trained to confront his father, he stifled that old connection. He shut down the little voice inside his head that reminded him what was good and right. But since he’d found Emma and tried to separate himself from that old life of revenge, he was more and more susceptible to it again. That susceptibility was both beautiful and painful. On the one hand he swore he could hear his mom right now. He could picture her in his minds’ eye shaking her head at him with a smile at her lips. But he knew when he opened her eyes she wouldn’t be here. There would just be more waiting and more agonizing over what was next.

“Bloody hell, Liam, I wish you would just get here already and be done with it.”

The words were gruff as he spoke them aloud, nearly yelling with the ferocity of his agitation. He kept his eyes closed and tried to center himself again, but before he could a voice by the tree line responded to him.

“Wish granted.”

Careful not to make any sudden movements, Killian pivoted to where he heard his brother’s voice and looked at him for the first time in so many years, seeing that it was in fact Liam there, and not just some figment of his imagination.

A few seconds passed where Killian allowed himself to take his brother in, and though he was surprised at how clean cut and together Liam still seemed to be, he didn’t let any of that show. If this reunion was going to be anything like last time then he was in for a hell of a fight, but there was a real need for Killian to control himself. Even on the night he was first infected, the bite had made it so Liam was out of control and unable to resist his baser urges. To counteract that, Killian had to be smart. It was the only way to handle this and to see that he, Emma, and the rest of their friends and family were okay. Still, looking at Liam now was like a stab to the heart, for though all this time had passed, he still looked as he always had, and Killian swore he saw a mix of sadness and also love in his brother’s eyes, despite everything.

“It’s been a long time, little brother,” Liam said, filling the space between them with words that were charged in a way Killian couldn’t understand. There was no anger there. No resentment. Just longing and a little bit of pain. “You look different.”

“I am different,” Killian replied. His muscles flexed slightly, and though he hoped to hide it from Liam, Killian watched as his brother tracked the movement. Liam didn’t reply in kind though, instead siding with continued conversation as he moved a bit closer.

“Ah yes. A mate’s love will do that, or at least that’s what they tell me.”

Now Killian couldn’t help tensing up.  He didn’t like it at all that his brother had mentioned Emma, even in the abstract. It was too close for comfort, but when Killian let out a low growl, Liam only laughed. It was a barked out sound, one that made it seem like Liam hadn’t had cause to laugh in a long time, but it calmed something inside of Killian. It wasn’t threatening. If anything, Liam seemed to be enjoying himself. That was unexpected, but it didn’t feel aggressive and that was something to be grateful for.

“Relax, brother. I didn’t come here for her.”

“Then why did you come?” Killian asked, wanting to believe Liam, but knowing that the bite would change any man and that it had already started to change Liam years ago.

“So it’s like that then,” Liam sighed. “Straight to the point. No conversation after all this time? No soft landing?”

“Why bother putting it off? You’re here, and we both know why.”

“I’m not so sure we do,” Liam replied thoughtfully. “I’ve thought of this moment every day since that night. I thought of what I’d say when I saw you again, and damn if I can bring myself to say any of that now. It all seems… not enough.”

“Well why don’t we start with the basics. This control you’re displaying. Is that… permanent?”

“Much as I might like to say yes, I can’t do that. For all my flaws, lying is something I still can’t abide by.”

Killian’s stomach fell at the confession from his brother. It was confusing to say the least, because on the one hand Liam didn’t seem to be doing anything that would signal that he or his wolf wanted to fight. There was no display of dominance, no call to contest. To Killian that signaled that maybe Emma’s more wishful thinking was right. Perhaps Liam was here to make amends and to make things right, as crazy as that seemed, but confessing that he wasn’t actually in control scared Killian. He’d seen the flip switched in his brother before. It was terrible to behold and if Liam couldn’t stop it then it was only a matter of time before Killian bore witness to that beast again.

“So the sickness. You haven’t cured it?”

“No,” Liam replied, his acceptance of his condition heart wrenching to hear. “I am what I am now. A monster, a beast, an abomination: you can call me whatever you like, but the curse remains.”

Killian allowed that truth he already knew to soak in. Again he’d been hopeful, and again his hope was thwarted. Of course Liam was still burdened with this blackness. There was no escaping it, but still it killed Killian to hear it. Listening to his brother berating himself, calling himself a monster – a beast – it was terrible, and yet Killian couldn’t contradict him. He knew nothing of Liam anymore. He knew the man he had been, but what was to say that man truly remained? He appeared to be here, but appearances weren’t enough to build trust on. They couldn’t be, not when the stakes were so high.

“You never were good at covering your emotions, brother,” Liam said witfully, his eyes studying Killian intently. “I can see it all practically jumping off of you. Love. Wariness. Sadness. Fear. Crazy you stayed hidden all these years. You’d think so much energy would be easier to track.”

The mention of tracking put Killian on alert again. There was the reminder he needed that this wasn’t a one off. Liam wasn’t here for a casual visit. He’d been hunting for Killian for years and Killian had known it. He’d lived off the grid as much as he could. He never built a life, never had roots. Hell, he never had dreams of any kind for years and years to stay ahead of that search. His life had been hellish, and that hell was in no small part because there was always the threat of Liam just waiting to take him down.

“What can I say? Ruby’s a powerful witch.”

“Ah she always was. Little Red,” Liam said with another strange laugh. “Remember when we called her that as kids? God she hated that.”

Killian was thrown by the tenderness Liam displayed for Ruby. This whole exchange was honestly giving him whiplash. One moment his brother was kind and trying to connect, the next he was poking Killian with the reminders of the threat he posed. It was confounding and confusing, and it made the wolf inside scratch at the surface, trying to fight this out instead of lingering in whatever strange game Liam was playing here.

“Ruby isn’t the reason you came either. So let’s get on with it. Why are you here, Liam?”

“I’m here because I have to be. We had to meet again. You made sure of it that night.”

“I spared you that night, Liam. I…” Killian trailed off before reiterating the thought, because honestly he wasn’t so sure that’s what he’d done. Had he spared Liam? Or had he just damned his brother to so many more years of this descent into madness?

“You made a choice, a choice that speaks to who you are, brother. You could have killed me, but you didn’t. You couldn’t. It could have all been over. You could have been free, but instead you chose another path. This path, and now we have to face it.”

The ominous words hung in the field between them and Killian didn’t know what to say. Liam was right after all, at least in a way. He hadn’t been capable of killing Liam. There just wasn’t that option, and because of that there had been the risk and that sinking sensation that followed Killian all these years that they’d meet again. But while his brother was resigned and yet also strangely unreadable, Killian was resolute. Things wouldn’t end the same way twice. There were too many other people who needed protecting, and too much more to live for now than there had been years ago.

“I’m sorry, Killian. I’m sorry for that night, and for any night you’ve faced since that you worried about me. I’m more sorry than you can ever imagine. I would have done anything to spare you that.”

Wait… what?

“You’re sorry,” Killian repeated, his mind reeling from the truth he heard in Liam’s out of the blue words. “But you’ve come here to kill me.”

“So you keep suggesting,” Liam replied, his eyes taking on a little humor again.

“And what are you suggesting, Liam? I realize this is all some big game to you, but frankly I don’t want to play. I never did, so if you’ve come to fight me, fight me.”

“You know I thought this would be different, our last time together,” Liam said, his voice a wistful whisper, as it sailed across the breeze to Killian’s ears. “I should have known, even if I hoped for something more. But let me cut to the chase. I came to -,”

The snap of a branch in the woods very close to them claimed both brothers’ attention, and when Killian saw it was Tink his feelings were mixed. There was relief, but also dread. He couldn’t exactly explain why, but the reason would show itself soon enough.

“I caught a new scent in town and thought you might need backup,” Tink said, but her usual confidence was cowed in an instant when a fierce growl sounded out so loudly that it shook the ground around them.

Killian whipped his head back to look at his brother, but Liam was gone and all that remained was the beast in man’s clothing. His eyes were like coal, his face was snarled, his stance was poised for shifting. He heaved for breath, his anger rolling off of him, and just like that the nightmare Killian had been reliving for years was with him once more. Whatever had just occurred was over. The talking was done, the dancing was finished, and now it was time to face this twisted fate once and for all...

Post-Note: Okay I know I know I left this on a cliffhanger and I am terrible! BUT I have some pretty great news – the next chapter of this story is already mostly written and I will be posting it sometime in the next week! I should probably space it out more since the rest of the chapters aren’t completed yet, but trust me – you will all want to see the conclusion of what happens between Killian and Liam.  Anyway thank you all so much for your patience and your continued support. Hope you’re all doing well, and hope you’ll tune in next time!

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[rebeccalouisaferguson]

Rebecca Ferguson: “I did not earn my success” 

Rebecca Ferguson, 35, has many faces. She plays an opera singer in “The Greatest Showman”, in her latest film “The Kid Who Would Be King” she is evil witch.  In the interview for Gala in London hotel she shows her real face and explains why she thinks, she did not earn her current  success. 

In your latest film you play an abysmal evil witch...

Rebecca Ferguson: ... and I found it wonderfully liberating to finally be allowed to be become really evil for the role. Especially since I had the perfect sparring partner to bring out my darkest side. 

And that was? 

My son Isaac as it happened had his big school holidays while i was shooting so he could be with me almost all the time. I kept asking him what would scare him the most in a scene that supposed to be scary, in which tone is the best for me to speak and what look is especially scary to him.  

Have you got the taste now? 

And how! For example, in "Doctor Sleep", the sequel to Stephen King's "The Shining," I torture young children. Great! (laughs). It's just exciting to be able to tease out one's inner abysses with such roles.

A few years ago nobody knew you outside of Sweden. Today you play alongside Hugh Jackman or Chris Hemsworth ...

A little bit crazy, right? It still feels a bit surreal to me. Suddenly you work with a Meryl Streep, who you have admired for years from afar. Sometimes it hits me like a shock and then I think to myself: unbelievable, what an incredible luck i have! Especially since ambition in my life never counted among the driving impulses.

Really? 

Many people are eager to have great success and to give something to the outside world. Be it as a dentist, politician or an actor. I never had that wish. I just went my own way and most of the time it felt absolutely right. And as soon as I did not feel well in my skin, I chose another life path. In my life, things just happened, which sometimes, honestly, makes me feel guilty.

Why? 

I think that I have not really earned my current success. Many young actresses tear themselves apart to eventually live off their profession and become known. I, on the other hand, never had to fight for something with elbows and let myself be humiliated on hundreds of auditions. I was simply offered interesting roles. Maybe i have the best agent in the world! (laughs). At any rate, it has not been about my assertiveness that I am doing so well in business today. And if it is my talent? I would not like to judge for myself.

Unusually modest words for a film star... 

I'm sure there are thousands of actresses who have much more talent than me. Nevertheless, they get no more than a few supporting roles in TV series - if any. Sometimes, unfortunately, you are not in the right place at the right time, often it's just bad luck. I am sure that many colleagues burn a hundred times more than I do, sacrifice so much for their big dream and still have to bury it someday.

Rebecca Ferguson: from model to Hollywood actress 

How did it all start for you? 

Initially as a teenager i worked for a short time as a model, which i did not enjoy at all and was then cast as a 15-year-old for the lead role in a Swedish soap opera. We filmed two and a half episodes a day. Five days a week for two years. I never needed a drama school, because the work in the soap was the best and hardest school ever. Then I had a small role in the US series "Ocean Ave.", which flopped terribly. After that I was for the first time done with acting.

Then everything did not go as smooth as you say ...

For an outsider it might look like this. But I have never felt that way. Although I had tasted blood at that time and had a great desire for acting, considered the subject, but was always very pragmatic, with a slightly supercooled distance and without naive illusions.

Did you have a plan B? 

Of course! I am not a woman who gives into dreams and illusions. I studied music and dance in Stockholm and later taught Argentine tango in Lund. But I also opened a yoga studio once, worked as a shoe salesman and as a waitress - so I reinvented myself professionally a few times. Nevertheless, I always remained faithful to acting. And then in 2013 came the British mini-series "The White Queen"...

Your breakout role? 

With the role came the Golden Globe nomination which opened many doors for me. Hollywood became aware of me. And when I gradually moved to London everything came in quick succession.

Rebecca Ferguson & Tom Cruise are not just work colleagues

Is it true that as a teenager, you used to rave about Tom Cruise, your "Mission: Impossible" co-star?

And how! I had a crush on this man. When i was a kid my entire room used to be plastered with his posters and "Rain Man" or "Top Gun" were among my favourite movies. Well, and today we are not just work colleagues ...

Did you become friends? 

You can say so. Tom is dear to me and we have a mutual sympathy. Unfortunately we can seldom meet in person, but we regularly send mails and phone several times a month. And soon, we will be back together in front of the camera for the seventh "Mission Impossible”. Tom is a funny, sensitive person - and a great listener.

You have two children. Is not such a family life at your current workload terribly stressful?

And how! But luckily, my husband Rory works freelance. He accompanies me everywhere and supports me very much with the little one. Isaac is very independent for his age and goes to school in Sweden. My parents take care of him when I'm shooting. I do not want to expose him to stress, having to live without his friends, habitual environment and solid daily structures. It's not always easy - but somehow we get it all done fine in the end.

translated from German by @edwardslovelyelizabeth for @rebeccalouisaferguson.tumblr.com